#i was debating not eating till 7pm but i have such a headache ao i think ill eat some fruit. idk. my sister knows im relapsing so she might

[tinylittlebab]

:/

#ugh. i was supposed to go to the store an hour ago #my sister was out so i cant get there and im v upset cause i couldve been skipping around the garage while they were gone #im glad the main thing i have been coping with for the past 7 years is daydreaming and that i skip around while doing it #exercise tends to be difficult bc im hypermobile and a lit of excercise tends to make it worse which is really really bad #like. no amount of control and feeling good vc im starving myself is worth making my joints even worse #one of my shoulders already likes to partially dislocate just whenever and like. it hurts and sucks and i dont wanna make that worse #well. ill have lots of time to skip around soon bc the person with the car is gna be gone for a few days so the garage will be empty :D #i can use it at night when they are here but its less fun and i burn less calories so i prefer when its empty #i usually use it while both ppl are at work but they dont work friday and saturday so it tends to be bleh those days #idk. im glad that my favorite thing to do also burn calories bc i enjoy it unrelated to my ed so its less stressful #i was debating not eating till 7pm but i have such a headache ao i think ill eat some fruit. idk. my sister knows im relapsing so she might #suggest we eat something while were out. idk how she does it but she usually convinces me to which is good i guess #im not happy abt it bc i wanna starve myself but that is objectively a bad thing to be doing and even if im not happy abt it its still good #when i eat stuff. id be more fussed abt it if i knew how much i weighed but i dont have a scale #part of me is like. i dont wanna restrict until i have a scale bc then i cant watch the numbers go down #i know for a lot of people qhen they first start dieting they see quick drop and then it goes very slow and i wanna see that #im just. i dont even care much abt being skinny rn im mostly looking for the nice feeling i get when i watch the number drop #idk. maybe my sister will catch on to how bleh im doing today and suggest i buy something yummy but hopefully not although i do appreciate #when she does that. it feels nice to have someone care abt you