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polariae · 9 days
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Milking the Milkman?
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polariae · 1 month
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Suguru and his dragon as Haku from Spirited Away 🐉🎭💖
Patreon link in bio ♡
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polariae · 1 month
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Adult Zuko 🔥
Ngl I got emotional while drawing cuz this brought up sooo many memories and nostalgia. I remember how i used to run home after school to watch every new episode airing on Thursdays. THE FEELS.
Zuko will forever be in my heart. ❤️‍🔥
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polariae · 2 months
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Gojo as Blonde Howl 🩵💫 Studio Ghibli x JJK Series PT 1
• Patreon link in bio!
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polariae · 2 months
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Hi my loves!
So I would like to inform u of some problems about the fanfic Savior i am Co working on and the truth on how my Fanfic Ideas of my OC Izumi x Geto got taken advantage of. And how the tragectory of everything went on. From the start to the reason why I wanted her to stop/delete my FF.
As u know I have had my OC Izumi for some years now as a staple in my artworks and I got so much love and curiosity from yall to know more about her. I ofc had a whole backstory in my mind already fleshed out from the start for Izumi, since i just love to make up stories and backgrounds for OC characters. Its just something that comes naturally and all my maladapive daydream girlies will know exactly what im talkin about 😂 and after so many DMs about wanting to know more about her i was like, a fanfic would be amazing to do!
The problem was, English is not my first or second language and I just didnt had the means to bring my thoughts rightly to paper. I also am really invested in drawing here and that takes up all my freetime already. So i had no time or skills to make this FF work.
Thats how I came across a tumblr user who had open a requests on her page so I dmed her. I liked her other work she made with Geto (even tho it was kinda brutal) i liked her writing style a lot. So I asked her if she would like to write this story with me. We agreed that I would give her my ideas and she would write it. I saw her as a friend and trusted her.
But soon she wanted to add and change things up, she said that thats how it is with co writing and thats just how its gonna be. I was okay with that at first, since the changes were sometimes beneficial and it was fun to brainstorm with her. It was clear that this was my vision and any changes had to get through me. We both agreed on that but I was naïve and let myself get talked into things. I just wanted her to keep writing and was dependent for her collaboration.
For anyone who read the FF: The character Kai was never planned by me, it was a character she wanted to have in it, hes someone who abused Izumi in her captivity. He was like the prisonguard of her. I was like okay fine u can add him but i said from the beginning that I do not want him to touch Izumi in a sexual way.
I shouldve known immediately that things will go south as the writer said she wanted to add sexual abuse in it.
I was very reluctant but I sensed how she spoke that she wouldnt wanna write further so I agreed in just very mild things, which already were awful enough but i tried to make the best out of her wishes. Since she was insisting. And i hoped that if id agree to this mild things that that would be it and hopefully not picked up further in the story and at last forgotten by the readers.
My only thing i always said was: I dont want to have any of this abuse to interfere with Izumis and Getos relationship. That was a big thing since I wanted them to have a romantic and loving relationship further on. The NSFW scenes were planned to be sweet, and sensual especially cuz Geto wouldve been all Izumi knew sexually and her first (and Geto is just peak hotness and perfect for that) Izumi should enjoy her firsts with Geto fully.
Going on she started to change more things.. and it got further and further away from how Izumi and all was. She started to change Izumi and her personality. Shes so far off of what I pictured her to be and what was discussed. But that wasnt the worst thing.
Then the writer just started to take things to new levels, Izumi having to be forced to suck Kai off for food, Kai fingering her to her orgasm against her will etc.
Pls know that she just posted the chapters without informing me, so i always tried to talk her into removing these scenes but to no avail.
Boiling point was now the latest chapters cuz she made Izumi have panic attack and flashbacks. Worst, she made her having one as Geto and Izumi tried to take things further in the bedroom. She made Izumi think of Kai and her sexual abuse. Tormenting Izumi with memories of Kai sexually abusing her when Geto was touching her. Its awful.
And that was what made me just so so sad. Cuz Kai wasnt even supposed to be in the story at all. And now exactly what I didnt wanted happened. At this point i wasnt even invested anymore in the story cuz it just wasnt enjoyable to read about all this mess. Izumi was snappy, her personality is weird and unpleasant and it was just such a weird vibe between Geto and Izumi. The writer always talked her way out by saying thats just how trauma works ect. Without acknowledging my wishes and my OC Izumi. Izumi and Geto just were soo weird together and after this all their whole dynamic was not there anymore. It wasnt loving, it wasnt sweet.
And i would like to add that im a sucker for Angst. Like im not someone who reads fluff. But this was even for me not even Angst anymore, it was just uncomfortable.
Like it was the drop that made it overfloat. What made me not wanting to be associated with it anymore. She wrote on many Autors Notes especially the recent ones, that she does not have the drive to write more on the FF. That she healfheartly literally ended the FF today in 3 chapters. This fanfic just has nothing to do with what I imagined anymore and im sad that i gave away all my ideas away to her tbh. If i had known I wouldve never asked her to write my ideas out. It also became her most read Fanfic. We discussed sooo many cool ideas and scenes for this fanfic till the end chapters like i just dont understand why she just insists in having this sexual abuse in it and tormenting Izumi. And also drag it over so many chapters. So many of you DMed me and said hoe uncomfortable it made u feel reading the latest chapters and how the storyline just didnt seem the same anymore. Which was as u see now absolutely true.
I asked her many times on why she insists on having sexual abuse in it so much? But shes never gave me an answer, no she tries to turn in on me saying "u agreed to it". Which as I discussed with u above was not what happened AT ALL. She says she cant remove it anymore, wether the scenes or Izumis mental torment and trauma. But she COULD.
ITS A FANFIC. U can always make it work.
Its also funny how she tries to say "im doing it for free" to hint that she can do whatever she wants. In that case i just have to say; i also gave all my ideas for free like? Its insane how this is even a conversation.
The gaslighting she is doing in the chat is hard to manage and Im srsly so sad and also annoyed that this had to happen.
I wont engage in this with her more cuz I have to keep my mental health in tact.
You saw how she is turning things around, how she manipulates and changes the context of conversations. I remember vividly how the first times she laughed at how emotionally invested i was in my story and belitteling me. I created Izumi nearly 4 years ago while I was batteling severe anxiety while i was homebound. How she always blackmailed me in saying "ur not paying me so I can do whatever I want" and when I then gave her some payed content for free she is now changing the narrative as if she never asked for money. I was the one who thought we would do this for fun and was always hurt when she talked about this tid for tad mentality.
I tried to build a friendship and let things that she said pass during our "friendship" out of good faith. I was hurt how she treated me and dismissed me and my character requirements and how now that I was the one saying I dont see her as a friend anymore she turns it around to make it seem im the "mean" one for now standing up for myself. I am still shook about this disingenious behavior. I never sent hate to her even tho she tries with all her power to say so. I even insisted to keep things kind and graceful. And after she shit on me and I saw that she wouldnt budge, I stood up for myself. Also; Calling me a bitch and telling me to fuck off is no "quirky" way to talk to people as seen below. Especially in this context.
Shes now deleting every comment that doesnt benefit her on the comment sections. Im not surprised. So be it.
Tbh I do not care anymore. I just made story posts but since she showed the DMs I wanted to post the truth for u to read here as well. Iwont let this negativity from her linger any longer and give her any platform.
As I said in the DM i rather had kept this private but I had to share the truth in this matter since she spread misinformation. You deserve to know how things really went behind the scenes. And im sick and tired that my kindness is always taken advantage of.
I had to speak up for myself, my Ideas and my OC. Thank u for all that messaged me and having my back! Everyone of u sent nothing but love and support my way my heart was bursting out of greatfulness.
I LOVE YOU.
If you've read so far im so so grateful for ur time. And in due time I will tell the real story of Izumi and Geto in a FF worthy of their love.
Latesr DMs she also posted but here with context.
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polariae · 2 months
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Yall 8k wonderful followers! This is amazing tyssm my loves 💖💖💖
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polariae · 2 months
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I absolutely love your artwork 😍 ❤️ ♥️ The day I can afford it, I will commission a drawing of Kokushibo 💜
Uff that man is on my to do list for a good while! And pls take ur time! Lots of love 💖
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polariae · 2 months
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Your Suguru is just...
I have no words.
He is...
Too sexy. Too stunning. Too beautiful.
Ahhhh tysm 😭💖💖
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polariae · 2 months
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wow.
your rendering of the male physique is phenomenal.
i applaud you.
So glad u enjoy it! Tysm 💖
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polariae · 2 months
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Your Suguru… I owe you my life. Hell, you can have my soul. Take it. He is everything to me and you draw him so incredibly well
PLS 💖 thank u sm babe!!
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polariae · 2 months
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Hey🥺 i don't have a card neither do paypal. I tried to register paypal but i can't😭😭😭 do you accept other way of payment?
Sadly since im in Europe i have just paypal available 😭
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polariae · 2 months
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looking at your hot muscular men brings me so much joy ❤️
Its the little (or big) things in life 🤌💖
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polariae · 2 months
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yeah, i'm pretty sure that bathtub drawing of suguru is my favourite drawing of suguru ever
every time i look at it, my opinion is affirmed & confirmed
it's just so... hot
Hes simply a SNACK! tysm love 💖
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polariae · 2 months
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haii… would you maybe consider commissions in the near future? i’d love to support you more!
Oh yes! Just dm me on instagram and ill give u all my infos and pricelist 💖
If u look for some spice and want to support my livelyhood i can also suggest u to look into my patreon ☺️💖
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polariae · 2 months
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your suguru is literally my favourite
i love the way you draw suguru so, so much oml
Im so glad to hear that love tysm 💖
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polariae · 2 months
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I love your shit! Including the Suguru and Satoru stuff, thank you girly!
Tyssm!! 💖
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polariae · 2 months
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girl… correct me if i’m wrong, but is geto your fav jjk man LOL (lovely art btw💙)
U got me here 😗🤭
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