#but about learning how to pursue them without compromising yourself

[starcurtain]

I think the most amazing thing about Alhaitham's ironic question "How has realizing your ideals gone for you?" is that yes, on the surface, it pierced through the heart of Kaveh's feelings at the time and forced him to reflect on whether he still had enough belief to keep going, but--BUT--

This is also Alhaitham subtly asking: "Was your life better without me?"

Kaveh left their friendship because of his ideals.

Kaveh's attempts to realize his beliefs began in earnest during his argument with Alhaitham, who challenged him back then by suggesting that Kaveh didn't honestly believe in his ideals and was just pursuing them out of guilt and a desire to punish himself for his father's death.

Kaveh's attempt to "realize his ideals," therefore, spans the exact amount of time he and Alhaitham have been separated. When Alhaitham asks about Kaveh's attempts, he's asking very specifically about the course Kaveh's life took when he was no longer in it.

How did it go for you? Were you happier? Was it worth it?

I truly believe that Kaveh will be able resolve his conflict with Alhaitham--and come to understand Alhaitham's actual feelings--when he realizes that, in that exact moment, he should have turned the question around:

How did realizing your ideals go for you, Alhaitham?

Was your life better off without me?

No.

#genshin impact #alhaitham #kaveh #haikaveh #kavetham #Kaveh was so worried about whether he should keep his own ideals #that he never even noticed how much Alhaitham's changed #Alhaitham's line in Parade of Providence #about how being correct isn't the same as being right #was sooo telling #it's not about compromising your beliefs #but about learning how to pursue them without compromising yourself #both of them had to feel the sting of pursuing their own beliefs too far #to realize that you need balance #Kaveh's pursuit of ideals that cost him everything was Alcazarzaray #but Alhaitham's pursuit of ideals was the fight that lost him Kaveh #Sumeru was saved because Alhaitham learned his lesson about egoism #and Alhaitham was able to save Kaveh in turn #it's so fucking clean my god this writing #Hoyo cooked so hard with this ship not even Gordon Ramsey can complain

[loveemagicpeace]

🍸💘Libra Season⭐️🌸

🩷Libra is all about relationships. In Libra season, we learn how to find balance within ourselves, our environment, and our relationships. This intellectual air sign helps us grasp the concept of diplomacy, teaching us how to find compromise. Throughout this Libra season, ask yourself: Am I truly listening? Can I communicate without putting the other person on the defensive? What area of my life could benefit from more balance? Libra season is an excellent time to create balance in your life or start a new partnership. Begin more moderate habits. As a Libra you are diplomatic, charming, amiable, intelligent, fair, balanced, elegant, and polite. Let the Libra season help you to expand these natural gifts.

🌙On September 29 will be a full Moon in Aries. Full Moon in Aries always proves to be an exciting one and an opportunity to feel our life’s mission and then decide how to pursue it. It has the power to teach us about our soul’s purpose and how to pursue it while living in the world with other people—each of whom has their own soul’s purpose. This Moon can help you understand your journey more deeply. The full moon in Aries marks the time when you attempt to create true balance. Aries, is all about your relationship with yourself. Aries energy can help you be very decisive and clear about what you need.

✨Sep 30 — Mercury in Virgo trine Uranus in Taurus. This aspect suggests an easy opportunity to harmonize technology or specialized information within daily life. Access to new ideas or technology should be easily grasped and immediately integrated. Sun trine Pluto- this brings intense and profound experiences. Whatever you are interested in now, you will be driven to research and investigate the inner workings to gain a complete understanding of the topic. Moon trine Venus-you will feel like you are in your element and flowing with the tides of life. Moon trine Saturn-You can rely on strong instincts and common sense to make important decisions about your home, family, and relationships.

🥂On 1 October will be Moon in Taurus Conjunct Jupiter in Taurus. Energy can be expansive, and you can focus on pursuing new opportunities and having new experiences. It is always a stable time to think about the things that mean a lot to you and what is valuable to you.

🤘🏽On 2 October- mercury opposite neptune-it can be a more confusing day, and communication can be misunderstanding. This can be great for the imagination, though you may get lost in it.

🧠On 3 October - moon will be in gemini & mercury tine pluto- more in-depth topics will come to light. This is also good for debating darker topics. Dig deeper into something you need to know more about. You will want to understand things more.

⚡️On 4 October - Mercury Enters Libra- Seeing both sides to situations, being compromising, negotiating, and mediating can be easy to do. There will be more conversations about relationships, romantic things. Maybe you will advocate more for potential partners. You may want to please people more during this time. There will be more embellished words and conversations. You will hear everything you want to hear.

⛅️On 6 October - Last Quarter Moon in Cancer. Issues that have made the foundation of something shaky can be addressed. You may need to tackle some emotional issues too. The Moon is strong in Cancer. Here we long to take care of family, keeping them safe and well.

🩵On 8 October -venus enters virgo, after a long time being in leo. Venus in Leo gave a lot of childish energy, fun, nostalgia, romance, mainly happy things. Venus in Virgo will make things more demanding or picky. Maybe during this time you will work more for yourself and your routine. Maybe you'll be more picky in love and with who u spend time with. Paying close attention to the people you care about can be something you slide into more often over the coming. You can finally start to take things a little more seriously. You will be more practical.

🌊On 10 October -Pluto will go direct in Capricorn- Pluto retrograde coming to an end means you can start to see transformations picking back up again. With Pluto nearing the end of its time in Capricorn, you may focus on finishing changes with your goals, direction, responsibilities, or structures. You will see how much you have changed during this time, how your life has changed and how deeply pluto has affected your life and what it has contributed to you. Pluto is strong in the sign of Capricorn. Which means that everything you experienced during these years is only something that made you stronger. For all Capricorn risings you will get everything you wanted - a reward. Many karmic relationships and things that started in 2012 may end. Ask yourself how you feel after everything you've been through (especially capricorn risings).

💧On 12 October mars enters scorpio-Scorpio is a passionate, intense, and deep sign, so Mars in Scorpio means your energy and drive becomes more passionate, intense, deep , the more your possessiveness will be felt, the actions will have a deeper meaning. This is a very good time to work and create things for which you feel a deep passion.

🛼On 14 October Solar Eclipse in Libra -This is the first eclipse in Libra and the Libra Solar Eclipse can be excellent for new partnerships, commitments, and compromises. You can be diplomatic and charming and strive to get everyone on the same page. It will affect the cardinal signs the most. I will talk more about this in a separate post.

🏹On 20 October- Sun in Libra Conjunct Mercury in Libra this mean that mental energy can be strong, and you can focus on new ideas and put together plans. This transit is also good for writing, talking, debating and expressing yourself in any way. Something you began 6-8 weeks ago may culminate now.

🌸On 21 October- First Quarter Moon in Capricorn There can be adjustments that need to be made over the next week with your long-term plans. Make sure you’re seeing the big picture. You may choose to get more structured. Set your goals and follow them through. It knows that true success comes from the heart. Moon trine Uranus- people are more sociable and open to interaction. This is an excellent time for dates and trying something new, such as skydiving or dancing classes.Moon conj Pluto-you may have your emotions deeply stirred by an intense encounter that brings deep rooted issues to the surface.

🍸On 22 October Mercury Enters Scorpio-Mental energy can become intense over the coming weeks, and you can throw yourself into anything that interests you. You will be more inclined to explore truth and deeper things. There will be a lot more deep conversations and stuff. The words will be sharper, truer, deeper and more painful.

Venus in Virgo Trine Jupiter in Taurus -It can be easier to get along with others, and you may benefit from someone in your life. You can enjoy time with others and may want to bring in new people. Relationships will feel more stable and beautiful.

Mercury in Scorpio Trine Saturn in Pisces -Controlling mental energy can be easier, and you can channel your mental energy into something productive. You can make great long-term plans as well.

🦂On 23 October Sun Enters Scorpio- Passion, intensity, and transformations can be elevated during Scorpio Season, and you can make beneficial transformations, share with others, and increase passion. You can also leave many things behind during this time and transform yourself through this energy. Find personal power and use this well.

💕On 25 October Moon in Pisces Conjunct Neptune in Pisces- Focusing on your goals can help you work on your long-term plans. This is also good for manifesting. You will now feel everything that is otherwise just a dream as real.

⭐️On 28 October Lunar Eclipse in Taurus⭐️ 

The Taurus Lunar Eclipse can bring the culmination of financial projects and changes that you began 1-2 years ago, and you can remove blocks to stability and security. Now the reward for which you have worked for so long will come. Taurus is a fixed sign, which means that values, views, money, relationships will be greatly changed and a completely new perspective will open. Something that you deeply appreciated before, now you won't anymore. Moon will enters Taurus -Ground yourself right now because the Lunar Eclipse can trigger strong emotional energy. Grounding yourself can help you control some of it. Mercury in Scorpio Opposite Jupiter in Taurus -Your outlook can be positive, and you likely only want to be optimistic but may have difficulty fully seeing the big picture. Try taking a step back.

🖤On 29 October Mercury in Scorpio Conjunct Mars in Scorpio -Ideas can come to you quickly, and you can get excited by what you come up with, what you learn, or what you hear. You may want to take action quickly with one of your ideas.

✨On 31 October Venus in Virgo Trine Uranus in Taurus/ Halloween -Making changes in your relationships or dealings with others can prove to be beneficial, and you can find new ways to connect. You can be more open to new people as well.

-Rebekah🌸🌙🩷

#astrology #energy #zodiac signs #planets #astrological houses #full moon #mars in scorpio #mercury in scorpio #libra mercury #libra season #solar eclipse #lunar eclipse

[am-i-obsessed---maybe]

Right Person, Wrong Life Time Part 2 (Obi Wan Kenobi x GN!Reader)

Part one

A continuation of the first part going into the kenobi series. And this one has a happy ending! (Although there is angst so be careful)

Main Masterlist

This has been really gender neutral until now but I'm gonna use masc titles (uncle) in this since it's what I'm comfy with

Word Count: 6.6k

When you'd first gotten to Alderaan you'd described the bright white of the capital city as blinding. It took a long time for you to become accustomed. It was so familiar and yet so different.

You were made Leia's bodyguard, nanny and tutor in one. Supposedly the organas hired you to help take care of their daughter while they were busy working, they were after all a queen and a galactic senator. But especially so when it became apparent the princess was a flight risk from the moment she learned to crawl.

Of course former jedi Y/N L/N couldn't do this job but Bail's close friend Y/N Koon of Coruscant was a perfect fit.

You lived in the palace and blended in as just one of the staff. It allowed you to watch over the princess and as the years went on aid Bail in his rebellion.

Leia sat in bed, restlessly moving and shuffling and refusing to lay down to sleep.

"It's not fair! I want to go with them!" The six year old fussed as you sat by her side.

"I know princess but their decision has been made. They're probably passing Hosnian Prime by now" You told her.

"There's no point in crying over spilled blue milk" You said, attempting once more to tuck the unruly princess in.

"I don't want to go to sleep! I wanna look at the stars outside!" She cried and you sighed. Leia was by no means an easy child.

"How about we look at the holo map again and I tell you a story about whichever planet you choose, alright? Can we compromise on that?" You asked and after a moment without a response your face fell.

"Please princess" You practically begged, sometimes you thought that girl liked to see you embarrass yourself.

"Fine" She said and you took out a small device, projecting a map you'd shown her a thousand times before.

The map was old, all the way back from your padawan days, and included all of the planets and places you visited before the clone wars. It was a gift from your master, the first thing he'd ever given you. He said to mark where you've been, he'd claimed it would help keep your memory sharp. He'd apparently done it with his own master but once the clone wars kicked into full gear you'd lost track of where all your missions took you. It was for the better now, less conspicuous.

"That one" Leia said after looking over the map she'd seen so many times before.

"But I've already told you the story from geonosis" You said but the girl was adamant.

"I wanna hear it again, I like the part where the senator frees herself and takes out those big monsters and then all the wizards come in and cut down all the robots" She said and you laughed.

"Alright, well it all started when someone decided to try to assassinate the senator of a far off beautiful planet..." You began. You'd told her the story before, she probably already knew it by heart (with enough changes to make it sound fictional), but you told it again every time she asked. The sparkle in Leia's eyes as she heard about Padme -even if she didn't know it- tugged at your heart.

---

As time passed and Leia got older, as she was no longer in danger of revealing her potential, your role was diminished. It allowed you to pursue other things and you spent more time as one of Bail's agents in the rebellion.

You continued to do exactly what you told Obi Wan all those years ago, you continued to work to do good. That is until you got a call from Bail.

"She's gone" He said and you looked at the hologram in confusion.

"What do you mean gone? She can't have gotten far, maybe she just found a new hiding spot. You know how creative she can be-" You tried to rationalize but he shook his head.

"She was taken." Bail said, holding back a sob. He loved that girl so much and you just wished you could be there to comfort your friend.

"We'll find her Bail, I promise" You told him and he nodded.

"She's headed for Daiyu. Obi Wan is on his way there now" He said and you tightened your hold on the back of the pilot's seat. You had never been so thankful you flew alone.

"Obi Wan?" You asked and Bail nodded. It was the first time you'd heard that name in years.

"Go, meet Obi Wan at Daiyu and bring my daughter home" Bail instructed and you nodded.

"I will Bail. You can count on it" You said before cutting the transmission and immediately reworking your flight plan.

You were already within Daiyu's atmosphere, preparing to land when a report came to your comm. A bounty out for Obi Wan Kenobi.

"Obi" You groaned as you brought your small ship down for landing.

"What have you done this time dear?" You asked yourself.

---

You ran through the dirty slums of the city, desperately following Obi Wan's force signature, a signature you hadn't felt in years.

You walked down an alley, a man was walking right towards you and worse, right towards Obi Wan and Leia's signatures. You sped up discreetly as just as he noticed Obi Wan you knocked him out with a well placed punch before immediately turning to the princess. She wore a green coat over the clothes she was taken in but it was obviously her.

"Leia" You gasped as you ran to her and embraced her in a tight hug.

When you let go you held her at her shoulders while you looked her over, making sure she wasn't injured.

"I was so worried about you, are you injured? Does anything hurt?" You asked and she crashed back into you.

"Y/N/N" She said, holding onto you for dear life. She hadn't called you that since she was four.

"I knew you'd come for me, father sent you right? I knew he'd send someone" She said and you smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I told you I'd always be there for you" You joked as you stood back up.

Once you were sure Leia was fine you finally turned your attention to Obi Wan. You couldn't bring yourself to say anything as you looked into his eyes. He didn't look so different, though the dessert aged him it was more like a fine wine than spoiled blue milk.

His hair was back in it's mullet and more uneven than ever, his beard wasn't cleanly cut anymore, in fact it was much more scraggly but you liked it. His face was the same one you left ten years ago with one final kiss but the man in front of you was tired. He had wrinkles around his eyes and dark bags under them.

"This is Ben, father sent him to rescue me" Leia said, finally breaking the long silence.

"It's good to see you again Ben" You said carefully, testing then name on your tongue.

"It is good to see you again as well Y/N" Ben said and you smiled lovingly at him. Suddenly a beeping noise sounded from where you'd left the body of the man from earlier. Obi Wan immediately ran to turn it off and you turned to Leia.

"Don't move" You told her, hoping that of all the times she'd actually listen to that line it would be now.

You joined Obi Wan in looking over the device.

"What is that noise?" You asked as he fidgeted, trying to turn it off.

"I don't know" He said and you looked at him again.

"Well turn it off" You told him as he continued tinkering with it.

"I'm trying" He said, his fingers moving furiously against the metal of the machine.

"What is that?" Leia asked, suddenly standing behind you and the both of you turned back to look at her.

"Why is there a picture of you?" Leia questioned Obi Wan and he looked at you for help but you were stuck.

"You did lie. That's what you were hiding, you're the reason I'm here. They took me to get to you." She accused, slowly stepping back.

"Leia calm down" You tried but she kept walking back.

"Why did Y/N not recognize you? Did my father even send you?" She asked and you could see the pain on Obi Wan's face.

"Of course he did" He said and you tried to walk up to the princess to calm her down.

"Leia sweetheart, take a breath. Ben and I will keep you safe-" You tried to say but she was spiraling.

"How do I know you're not the real kidnapper?" Leia asked and Obi Wan crowding you to approach the 10 year old wasn't helping the situation.

"You have to trust me Leia, your father is a very old friend of mine- Leia" He tried to say but the little girl went running.

"Leia!" You called after her. You and Obi Wan quickly raced after the girl.

"Split up, I'll follow her signature" You told him, running through Daiyu's alleys, trying to find higher ground and get a vantage point.

By the time you saw she was on a rooftop about to jump you were too late. "Leia!" You screamed as you raced over rooftops to try to get to the young girl.

Ben was there first, reaching out his hand. You knew what he was going to do and you only wished he would be careful. When you were close enough you jumped down into the alley he'd lowered Leia into with the force; making sure she was alright and shielding her as much as you could from prying eyes.

"Are you okay?" You asked her and she just nodded, still caught up in the adrenaline of the moment.

Soon Obi Wan came running up to check on the princess.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"You... You really are a jedi" She whispered, just barely audible to you and Ben.

"We need to move" he simply said.

---

The cargo ship moved achingly slowly. At some point you managed to get Leia to nap a little, she'd need her strength for the rest of the journey. It also gave you some time with Obi Wan.

Leia slept, sprawled out on your lap, head leaning onto your shoulder.

"You two are close" Obi Wan said as he tinkered with Leia's Droid, Lola. "I've been watching over her since she was little, she feels she knows me" You said.

"Does she?" Obi Wan asked and you sighed, running your hand along her hair.

"Not really, no. Especially not like you do" You said, looking into his eyes.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again" You said and he looked pained.

"Neither did I" He said. You looked at him again, going over every new wrinkle and greying hair.

"The dessert has worn on you" You told him and for a moment you thought he almost smiled.

"And you look just as beautiful as that day on Lothal" He said and you looked away from him, feeling the embarrassment roll through your body. That day was before the war, before you found out about the clones and long before the empire.

"That was 20 years ago Obi" You said and he looked away as well.

"I've missed hearing you call me that" He said and you smiled at him. "And I missed hearing your voice" You told him and he stayed quiet, you weren't sure why.

"How is the boy- Luke?" You asked, trying to remember the name of Leia's brother.

"He is fine... He looks so much like Anakin I sometimes forget" Obi Wan said and you looked at him sorrowfully.

"Does he like to run away?" You asked and Obi Wan shook his head.

"He's very well behaved, does what he's told, never runs off too far. But he is a child" He said and you could imagine a boy, as blonde as Anakin was when you first met him, running around the sands of Tatooine.

"Leia loves watching the ships that leave Alderaan. She sneaks off so much we have a search and rescue protocol especially for her" You say, petting the young girl's head as she slept.

"Has she showed any signs?" Obi Wan asked and your smile turned sad.

"No, she's very attuned to other's emotions and inner thoughts but- even back in the republic she would never have been spotted" You said.

The fact that Leia may not be force sensitive was a great relief to you. It lowered some of the danger the girl was in, even if it was still far too much for a girl so young.

"Has Luke?" You asked and Obi Wan shook his head.

"Not yet" He said and you smiled sadly.

"Do you ever regret the decisions we made that day? Splitting them up, keeping them halfway across the galaxy from each other?" You asked and he contemplated for a moment.

"They're safe. That's all that matters, or at least they were" He said, looking at Leia. He felt so guilty knowing that she was taken to get to him.

---

You hated this plan. You had no idea if you could trust a random driver on a mining planet deep into empire controlled space but Leia had already flagged him down, there was no way out now.

"I'm Luma! This is my father Orden and my uncle Oron, we're farmers from Tawl" Leia said and you smiled, she really was a creative little thing to have made that all up on the spot.

"Hey there, I'm Freck" The being driving the speeder said. "Hello" You said politely and Leia- or Luma- turned to Obi Wan.

"Father, aren't you going to say hello?" She asked.

"Hello" He finally said and you hoped only you could hear the anxiety in his voice.

"We were going on a trip and we got a little lost in this field" Leia said and you had to hold back from reacting to her words.

"That's a weird story" Freck said.

"We got a bit turned around, we're looking for the nearest port. We need to get home" Obi wan explained.

"Well I'm going that way, jump in" Freck said happily

"Oh no that's alright we just need directions" Obi Wan tried to explain but Leia wasn't having it.

"Come on father, we've walked long enough" She said as she walked towards the back of the speeder.

"You should listen to the little lady" You said in a chiding tone as you followed her.

You helped Leia up and noticed Obi Wan's discomfort with the empire symbol on the back of the speeder, giving him a comforting look while you sat next to Leia.

The ride was silent for the most part, after a while, out of habit you took out some dried fruits you always carried with you and gave them to Leia.

"You should eat, we've been out here for a while" You told her as she took the snack from you.

"Now where'd you say you were from again?" Freck asked.

"Tawl" You all answered at once.

"Oh, good people out in Tawl, they pay their way, listen to the empire" Freck said and Leia nodded along.

"Oh absolutely, we love the empire" She said and you tried to convince Obi Wan to stay quiet with a glance.

"It's nice to meet like minded folk, nothing wrong with a little order right?" Freck asked though you felt his question was rhetorical.

It was only as he slowed down by a group of stormtroopers that you worried.

Obi Wan sat closer to Leia, his guard up even more.

Freck offered them a ride, it was obvious they were familiar with each other meaning you had to be even more careful.

The stormtroopers sat around the three of you as Freck introduced you.

"These are Orden, Oron and Luma" He said and you waived lightly, trying to stay neutral and give off the most unassuming feel.

"They're hitching a ride to the port, where are you all coming from?" He asked the troopers and you stayed occupied with Leia.

"They're moving us around, looking for a jedi and some rebels" One of the troopers said and you could feel obi Wan's nerves in the force.

"A jedi? Out here? I hope we're not in any danger" Freck said as he started the speeder back up.

"We'll find him, we always do" The trooper said.

"You miners?" One of the storm troopers asked Obi Wan while you busied yourself with tying off the remaining fruit.

"Farmers, from Tawl" He answered and you felt Leia stiffen slightly beside you.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked.

"That's a long story" Obi Wan replied and you wanted to chide him. That answer invites curiosity.

"It's a long way" The trooper said menacingly and you sighed, this wasn't going well.

"He brought me here to see the place where he met my mother, before she..." Leia trailed off and you were so thankful she was such an adept liar. It was obvious you and Obi Wan were out of practice.

"She's not with us anymore. It's been a very difficult time" Obi Wan explained.

"What about you? You have any information about a jedi?" The trooper asked you.

"I wouldn't know one even if I saw one, this is my first time leaving Tawl and I thought they were all dead" You said but you could sense he didn't believe you.

"You haven't heard anything?" He continued to question and you shook your head.

"Nothing" Leia said, "Are you sure he's even on this planet?" She asked and Obi Wan turned to her in not so mock frustration.

"They know what they're doing Leia" He said and you heart plummeted. How could he make such a simple mistake.

"Orden" You warned cautiously.

"You called her Leia, I thought her name was Luma" The stormtrooper said and you decided it was time you took charge. "I'm sorry officer, he gets confused. That was my sister- her mother's name. He hasn't been well since she passed" You explained.

"Like I said it's not been easy. Sometimes when I look at Luma all I see is her mother's face" He said and you put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"We all miss her very much" He said and you nodded. If the troopers weren't convinced they didn't mention it for the rest of the ride.

You sensed the curiosity in Leia's eyes, the way she looked at Ben as if she'd connected the dots. You knew she'd ask something and you decided you too needed a distraction.

"Say Freck, what is it exactly that you do? It doesn't look like you're transporting anything here" You said, striking up conversation and keeping the driver's attention for Leia and Ben to say whatever it is they needed to.

---

You looked around the safehouse you were brought to on Mapuzo, reading the many carvings on the wooden walls.

"Quinlan was here" You said and Obi Wan came over to read the inscription you were looking at.

"He helps now and again, smuggling younglings" Your guide, a human woman who saved you at a checkpoint earlier said.

"That sounds like him" You said, voice nostalgic as you thought back to your old friend.

"I'm just glad he's alive, he thrives in times like these" You said, mostly to yourself but ben heard you.

"I'm sure he'd be happy to know we're alive as well" He said and you chuckled.

"I doubt there's a rebel alive who hasn't heard you're alive and here" You told him. You'd missed this, with the banter and the notalgia you'd almost forgotten what you were here to do. What was at stake.

"Even now after everything that's happened you seem so unbothered" He said and you smiled, kissing his cheek.

"But now you know better" You said, bringing your attention back to Leia and ushering her away from your guide, who she'd been pestering with questions.

"She'll make a good fighter one day" The woman told Obi Wan and he agreed.

"Why do you do this, risk everything?" He asked the woman and walked up beside him.

"I joined up when the empire stood for something, by the time I realized what they really were it was... too late. I made some mistakes" She said and you nodded.

"We all did" Obi Wan said and you agreed.

"Nothing we can do about it now" You said, leaning back against the wall.

"I can't imagine Obi Wan Kenobi doing anything wrong" She said and you saw the look on his face, the guilt still eating away at him all these years later.

"It's just Ben, these days" He said and you smiled.

"I'm Y/N" You said, introducing yourself.

"Tala" The woman said and you smiled.

"We need more people like you in the galaxy Tala" You told her.

She was showing you the way out, through a hidden tunnel when your head began to ache. It was a pain- a feeling you hadn't felt in years.

Your walls were down, you weren't prepared.

"Ben, Y/N? What is it?" Tala asked and you looked at Obi Wan, you knew that feeling, that darkness.

It was Anakin.

You and Obi Wan went to look through the small windows in the door. You recognized inquisitors and saw stormtroopers round up the civilians before you saw him walk through the street, heard his mechanical breathing.

That was when you'd realized, Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader. The presence that had thwarted or attempted to thwart your rebel plans was the man who murdered the jedi all those years ago.

"Ben, Ben we have to go" You whispered to him. You couldn't let Anakin find you.

"Take Leia, I'll be right behind you" He said and you shook your head.

"Take her home, promise me" He said but you refused.

"Ben don't do this, not again. Ben- Obi" You said, begging him.

Tala took Leia's hand, waiting for you inside the tunnel but you grasped onto Obi Wan.

"Obi no. Don't do this to me again, you won't survive this time" You said, trying to convince him to run with you but it didn't work. He shook his head.

"He cannot find her. I'll lead him away, please" He said, holding you close and placing a soft kiss on your lips.

"Keep her and the boy safe" He begged and you nodded as he pushed to into the tunnel.

You caught up to Tala and Leia, barely containing the tears in your eyes.

"You're a jedi too, aren't you?" Tala asked and Leia looked at you surprised. You put your hand over your chest, feeling the small crystal you had wrapped around your neck, the last part of your past you had with you. "I was once, yes" You said.

"But right now we have to get out of here" You said, leading the two down the tunnel.

Along the way Tala stopped and you sensed what it was she wanted to do. She looked at you, for permission or assurance you weren't sure but you nodded.

"Go. Bring him back" You told her and she nodded.

"Keep running till you reach the port. A pilot will meet you there" She said and you nodded. leading Leia further in.

You were almost there, you distantly felt a force signature further along but you collapsed in sudden pain. The darkness, the pain, the anger, the guilt, the conflict between it all, it was all too much.

"Y/N!" Leia cried, coming to your side.

"Keep going, I'll be- I'll be right behind you princess" You said, trying to smile- to reassure her.

"Keep going" You repeated and she nodded, running on towards the port.

You laid against the wall, the two polar ends of the force clashing and you knew that Obi Wan was once again facing Anakin. You weren't there the first time he did but you could feel it now, reverberating through the force like an echo until you couldn't take it and passed out.

---

You walked through the rebel base on Jabiim, Obi Wan was still in his bacta tank recovering but you were fine. You weren't actually hurt, only incapacitated through the force.

"You're still not healed! You're burns, your body they just need time" You heard Tala say after a splash. "Obi!" You called out as you ran to him. "Where-" He asked and Tala explained you were on Jabiim.

"Where's Leia?" He asked between pants, trying to regain his breath and you looked at him solemnly.

"They took her" You told him as you joined Tala on the platform around his bacta tank.

"One of the inquisitors must have found her while I was..." You trailed off but he didn't say anything, patiently waiting for you to continue.

"Your battle with Vader reverberated through the force. I haven't felt so much anger and guilt since that day at the temple all those years ago" You told him. "It was so painful it- it knocked me out" You explained.

He didn't say anything as you helped him out of the bacta tank and into a change of clothes.

"I'm sorry, it was my job to protect her not yours. I never should have let this happen, you never should have been away from the boy-" You said but Obi Wan cut you off with a kiss.

"We'll find her. Together" He said and you smiled.

---

You landed back on Jabiim, you'd practically stormed the fortress inquisitorius but you did it. Obi Wan found her and you brought Leia back safe.

Now she ran off with Tala while you and Obi Wan looked at the carvings on the cave wall. You were so close, Alderaan was almost in your grasp again. Obi Wan looked over every carving, some were names, some symbols, others messages.

"Look" You said as you opened a crate. There were ten maybe 12 lightsabers and some jedi robes. Things you hadn't seen since order 66.

You carefully took one, a familiar hilt that stuck in your memory from that night.

"This is Hilla's" You said under your breath in amazement. She'd gone through the path.

"Who?" Obi Wan asked and you smiled down at the saber in your hand.

"That night in the temple, I was able to help a padawan and a group of younglings escape. They commed me once they were out of orbit- they must have gone through here" You said, examining the metal hilt.

You opened it and were surprised with the view of a green kyber crystal.

"Her crystal is still here" You said and Obi Wan looked at you quizzically.

"Why wouldn't it be?" He asked and you pulled the crystal from around your neck out from behind your shirt.

"Where's your lightsaber?" Obi Wan asked.

"I sold it for parts. It would have only gotten me in more trouble than it was worth" You answered, gently fidgeting with the crystal.

"Besides, so long as I have my crystal I can make a new one" You told him, suddenly the hanger doors closed above you and you and Obi Wan rushed back into the crowd.

"What's happening?" Obi Wan asked and one of the pilots said the controls weren't working.

"An imperial destroyer just arrived in orbit above us" Roken said.

"She must have tracked us" Tala concluded.

"It's not her, it's Vader" Obi Wan said, you could hear the pain in his voice.

"He wants us to surrender" The pilot- Sully said.

"If we surrender he'll kill us all" Tala pointed out.

"He'll attack next, he hasn't the patience for a seige" Obi wan told the group and you nodded.

"How do you know?" Roken asked and you looked at him, knowing Obi Wan couldn't respond.

"I've dealt with him before, during multiple rebel operations. Vade isn't known for his patience" You said, deflecting from Obi Wan.

"Roken, how much time do you need to override the door?" Obi Wan asked.

"Three maybe four hours" Roken answered.

"You have one" Obi Wan told him, you hadn't heard him speak like that since the clone wars- it was how he spoke as a general. In that moment you knew the man beside was General Kenobi and you had to adapt as well.

You clipped Hilla's lightsaber to your belt and straightened yourself.

"Block every other remote access, no should be able to interfere. Everyone else, we're locking down every other entrance to this base. If we get this right, by the time they get inside we'll be gone." You said, your voice demanding attention as it did when you were ordering your clone battalion in battle.

Roken nodded.

"You heard them, let's move it people!" He said and everyone went to begin a task.

You smiled at Obi Wan, holding out the robe he was looking at earlier.

"One last time, General Kenobi" You said and he nodded.

"One last time" He repeated, moving to help Roken while you helped lock the entrances.

When the empire fired their first attack you were ready, unlit lightsaber in hand, prepared for a battle of the kind you hadn't seen in years.

Obi Wan approached the locked door, you trusted Obi Wan with your life but you hoped he was right and he could buy you enough time.

The moment the red blade cut through the door you lit Hilla's saber. A green glow emanated from the blade as you prepared for blaster fire and it soon came. A platoon of stormtroopers were waiting outside the door, both they and your own ragtag group began shooting.

Out of habit you fell back in form three defensive positions. It had never been your preferred style but it was the best for the situation. Obi Wan on the other had seemed to be struggling with his lightsaber.

"38 years in the jedi order but ten years of rust has you forgetting basic form? Really Obi?" You asked him as you deflected a blaster bolt meant for him.

"Not all of us have become rebels in our free time" He retorted. The banter came easily to the both of you. It was like the old days.

You and Obi Wan stayed in the front, deflecting as many blasts as you could while your group retreated further back into the hangar.

Eventually even You and Obi Wan fell back, helping anyone who lost their footing in the hasty retreat.

Slowly Obi Wan's training came back to him, his muscles fell back into distant memories of lightsaber forms and training exercises.

Not everyone made it though and you looked back at the newly locked door beyond which Tala had sacrificed herself for the rest of the group.

Obi Wan seemed to take it especially hard.

"Obi-" You tried to say, something to comfort your old friend- though by now he was much more than that.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Roken asked.

"It's over" He said and you felt the resignation around him in the force.

"I'm going back" He said and you held onto his shoulder.

"Where are you going?" You questioned and Roken joined you.

"You can't quit. I fought for too long, you can't just throw that away. It won't make a difference they want all of us" He said and you knew that's where he was wrong. Vader was here for Obi Wan.

"If you surrender she died for nothing. They'll keep coming" Roken said and Obi Wan seemed to be at the end of his rope.

"That's why I have to stop him!" He said and you looked at him in horror.

"You're going to fight him" You said. It wouldn't be the first time but every time he went back for another round it was closer and closer to being his last.

"He expects me to surrender. He knows I'll do everything I can to protect these people" Obi Wan said sorrowfully.

"You'll be on your own" A man in a green robe said- Haja you think his name was.

"I won't let you do that. If you're going so am I" You told him but he put his hands on your shoulders. "I'm not sacrificing myself Y/N." He said and leaned in, he whispered his plan to you. He told you about Reva, about her plans for revenge and about his plan to use himself as bait.

You hated it.

"I don't want you to do this" You whispered to him, caressing his cheek.

"I will be back my dear" He said and handed you his communicator, lightsaber and blaster.

He kissed your cheek and walked out to meet Reva.

"How is he going to fight without his weapons?" Roken asked you as you watched the doors close behind him.

"He's always been better with his words than with his lightsaber" You said nostalgically. If there was anything that could save Obi wan Kenobi even in a dire situation like this it was his words. So you put your trust in that and pockets the items.

"Come on, he's trying to buy us time" You told Roken as you all went back to work.

---

"You can't keep doing this Obi Wan, you can't keep putting everyone else above yourself" You told Obi Wan. He'd had the decency to tell you he was going after Vader again privately.

"I have to, this will give Roken the time to fix the ship- he's after me, not them" Obi Wan said.

"My heart breaks every time you do this" You said and Obi Wan took you in his arms.

"I'm sorry my love-" He said but you cut him off.

"I'm going with you." You told him and he shook his head.

"No." He said and you looked offended.

"I wasn't asking. He'll kill you. You don't stand a chance, he's stronger than he ever was before Obi" You told him.

"Your place is here. With Leia and the rebellion- I couldn't live with myself if you died because of my mistakes" He finally said and you took his face in your hands.

"How do you think I feel? How do you think I've felt this whole time? I lost you for ten years Obi, I won't lose you forever" You told him. "I love you" You confessed, holding him close.

"Y/N, we can't-" He tried but you cut him off.

"The order is gone. It's all gone. There's nothing else Obi and I won't keep fighting these feelings. I love you, too much to say and too much to ever truly show. You're my strength, my rock, my ocean" You said before placing a passionate kiss on his lips.

"I need you with me, so if you do this... You have to come back to me" You said after breaking the kiss.

You'd never said any of this, all of your love, your passion was kept inside. But if he was leaving, if he was going to do this- and you already knew you couldn't convince him otherwise- than you'd tell him all of it now.

"I love you to, more than you can ever know my darling" He said, holding you close.

"And I'll come back to you. I promise" He said, kissing you one final time.

"Obi-" You said as he turned to leave and tell Leia.

You took the cord colding the kyber crystal around your neck off, holding it out. Obi Wan immediately understood and lowered his head so you could put the cord around his neck.

"Bring it back to me" You told him and he nodded, smiling lovingly.

"I will. Bring Leia home safely" He told you and you nodded, mirroring his expression.

"I will" You promised.

---

After the dirty, nondescript clothing of your mission the Alderaanian uniform was a comfort. Hilla's lightsaber was safely stowed away under your cape and the clean white and blue was a relief.

It had been only a few days since you'd returned Leia home. Obi Wan had sent a message, saying he was alright and on his way to Alderaan. You couldn't wait.

His ship landed on the palace's landing platform and you calmly walked up to it, passing Bail.Leia and The Queen.

He walked out of the small ship and while Leia ran to her droid Lola, you embraced the man in front of you.

"You're safe" You said into the embrace.

"I sent you a comm saying so" He reminded you and you stroked his cheek.

"It's not the same as feeling you beside me" You told him. He passed a hand through your hair before taking off the necklace you gave him when he left.

"I've returned your kyber crystal, as promised" He said, carefully putting it back around your neck.

"Thank you" He said, looking into your E/C eyes.

"I love you Obi Wan Kenobi" You told him, kissing his cheek before allowing him to go greet Bail and Breha.

"You seem happy to have her back" You told Leia as you kneeled beside her to meet her at eye level.

"I missed her so much" She said and you smiled.

"You gave her to him for good luck didn't you" You asked her and she nodded.

"Kinda like you did with your necklace" She said and you smirked.

"You're far more perceptive than you let on princess. I'm very proud of you" You told her, kissing the top of her head.

When Obi Wan approached Leia you gave him his space, staying close to his ship.

He smiled down at her.

"So what are you going to do now?" Leia asked him and he thought about it.

"I don't know, what do you think I should do?" He asked her.

"I think you should sleep" She said honestly and the laugh he gave in return brought every broken piece of your heart from your last mission back. Your Obi Wan Kenobi was back and you'd missed him so much.

"I think you're right" He said before kneeling down to look her in the eyes.

"Leia, when I said before that I didn't know your parents... Princess Leia Organa, you are wise, discerning, kind hearted. These are qualities that came from your mother. But you also passionate and fearless, forthright. And these are gifts from your father. Both were exceptional people, who bore an exceptional daughter" Obi Wan said and you remembered back to Mapuzo and his conversation with her. She had thought he was her father but really Obi Wan was simply the best uncle she could ever ask for.

When he walked back to his ship to leave you stopped him. Placing a small device in his hand.

"It has my personal encrypted comm code on it" You explained.

"I'm not going to lose you for another ten years. So when you have the time, give me a call. And when I'm in your corner of the outer rim I'll stop by" You said, placing a loving hand on his beard.

"You might wanna clean up the beard a bit before then" You told him and he smiled.

"I love you" He said, placing a soft, gentle kiss on your lips before boarding his ship.

You stepped back as you watched it rise into the beautiful Alderaanian sky. In another life it would have been simpler. You would have fallen in love and lived happily ever after but in this one you would take whatever you could get and you simply hoped that your paths would cross once again, sooner rather than later.

#star wars imagine #star wars x reader #star wars prequels #gn reader #gender neutral reader #reader insert #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan x reader #obi wan imagine #obi wan kenobi #angst #right person wrong time #darth vader #bail organa #leia organa

[loki-zen]

Personally I deliberately conflate those two groups as a rhetorical tactic because I am an antifeminist, I believe that feminism itself is the root problem (with what we think of as "radical feminism" being a vaguely delineated subgroup that pursues roughly the same goals but with more aggression and less effectiveness), and I am eager to jump on a growing split between feminism (or "radical feminism", as people are generally more comfortable calling it as a compromise) and the broader left. To be clear, I do not mean by this that I am a misogynist, but rather that I think feminism, taken as a whole memeplex, is blatantly misandrist and lying about it.

right - well, you are wrong, in that feminism is not a whole memeplex. It is a word given to a bunch of different ones that have in common only the notion that they stand for women in a world where women are and historically have been an oppressed group, excluded from equal participation in society and/or subject to specific harms on the basis of being women.

Some of these groups and some people within them have fallen into the trap of hating the group that they see as relatively more privileged, and many more don’t seriously feel that way but use rhetoric that conveys that if taken literally. This is something feminism has in common with anti-racism, anti-colonialism, the trans rights movement, and indeed economic leftism!

(try counting how often you notice leftists state or imply that people deserve death and objective-suffering for being born in the wrong economic class! [when in fact all they deserve, in my view, is to be forced to share in a way that results in their standard of living not being vastly better than anyone else’s, and if they perceive that as suffering then that’s ok tbh.] a lot of the time the real purpose of this rhetoric is to signal pro revolution fervour. The belief that violent revolution is necessary to bring about change for the greater good isn’t the same as hating people and wanting them to die or suffer as an end in itself, but it is often expressed as such.)

if we’re talking about TERFs, we could also talk about some highly socially conservative movements branded as and coming out of socialist think spaces, or fighting against colonialism.

so unless you are willing to label yourself anti all of these rights-and-progress movements, it does look like you are treating feminism differently.

Do you think women don’t have any problems in this world? no particular concerns that need to be fought for? (it’s unclear whether your position on feminism extends into the past - do you think Votes For Women was fundamentally misandrist and worthy of being thrown out for that reason?) because if so, I disagree.

Do you recognise that they do, and what is happening to them in the world right now, and think nevertheless that they shouldn’t have a movement that talks about and fights these wrongs, because misandrists are a thing? If so, and if you don’t apply this equally to other causes, I find it hard to see how you aren’t a misogynist, at least in effect.

Or do you somehow think you can burn the existing edifice and organising ties and lexicon and movements both material and ideological to the ground and replace them with something, without that having too devastating an effect on the fight against these wrongs? Because as much as I wish it magically was and had been ‘fuck-gender-roles-equalism’ all along , I think the price (measured in, let’s say, 12 year olds forced to give birth) is likely too high and this may not be the sort of thing humans are capable of anyway.

one thing i’ve learned is that the word feminism means very different things to people. a lot of people are simply not going to be able to hear you say you’re an anti feminist without taking from that that you are a misogynist, that you want to undo the things feminism has fought for (which need i remind you, includes the fucking vote).

#if you think socialism can exist after the USSR but feminism just has too much badness associated with it then idk what to tell you

[gamebunny-advance]

Probably the Last of my Thoughts

Pikmin 4 Spoilers

Actually, while I previously thought that Dingo either has special solo missions or that he collects things in 100% areas, I think some of his side dialogue actually implies that he might be a "free pass" for dandori challenges or that he might act as a helper in such levels. So what I'm thinking now is that if you keep failing the challenges, then he may offer to either clear them for a cost or he's an AI that gathers items on his own alongside you to make clearing the dandori challenges easier.

If that's the case, then I do hope there's still a great enough incentive to do them yourself. I support "easy-mode" accessibility options as long as there's still incentive to take the challenge on yourself. Either way, if this really is what he does, it seems like the game is going to value "completion" over "challenge" which is giving me Pikmin 3 vibes in a way I'm not certain about.

Also, I didn't realize until my latest run that you collect pieces of Shepherd's diary and logs from her predecessors. They're probably going to be the source of most of the lore, but since half of said lore is gonna be from her point of view, she may turn out to be a well-rounded character the same way Olimar was in the first and second game. Now I just wonder how many people besides me are going to care about it since she's not the player character.

I never really bonded to the Pikmin 3 leaders despite them having personalities, since their main goal (collect fruit) seemed so impersonal despite the urgency of their situation, and the comic relief moments never really landed for me. It's just not funny to me for Charlie to be the butt of every joke when he doesn't seem to really deserve it most of the time. Like, I get the set-up of having the great respected hero be kind of bumbling, but that only really works if you see them in their prime beforehand. So he just starts bumbling and disrespected and ends bumbling and disrespected.

It kinda felt like they were going the same route with Shepherd, with her apparently being an accomplished captain but only being found in compromising situations, but I think her diary is either gonna really help or hurt that. From extra dialogue from the rest of the rescue corps, they all seem to really respect her, and vice versa, and despite her current achievements, she, just like you and everybody else, have been thrust into a challenging situation that you're having to suddenly adapt to. There's probably even more riding on her, since she has a legacy to live up to, so I'm interested to see if that plays into her character at all.

I'll also say that I like hearing the extra dialogue about and from the other guys too. While they do seem like archetypes first, and characters second, the little bit of character I've already gotten has endeared me a little more to them than the aforementioned Pikmin 3 leaders. Maybe it's because their archetypes are already more "extreme" than, "nice plucky boy" and "bitch," so there's already more room to add subtle details about them in the side dialogue. For example, even Collin, who seems to be the generic "nice guy" like Alph, has a relatable backstory about working to fund his education. And there's Dingo, who despite going down Charlie's route of being the tough guy with fantasies of romance at the very least has a reason to have a crush on the captain where Charlie seemed to pursue Brittany just because girl.

I'm not saying any of this deep or innovative characterization, I'm just saying they're more likeable upfront than 3's leaders. It feels like they're actually a group that had some history together, vs. 3 where they were essentially strangers learning and failing to get along without any emotional payoff for that journey. Like, I can imagine these guys around a campfire and telling stories together into the night.

However, that's all on the side and isn't gonna make or break the game either way. You don't play Pikmin for the story or characters, you play Pikmin because the puzzle solving of trying to do everything as efficiently as possible is addictive. Pikmin has never been a social sim, so a good story/characters are just a bonus rather than a necessity. However, I also think that kid of thinking is part of why I find Pikmin 3 so unmemorable. Of course, the game being fun in itself is a great point, but if the game is too easy, and the characters aren't relatable, then I probably won't have any lasting memories of it.

But I'm pretty hopeful for this game.

#gbunny writes #pikmin 4 #spoilers #hopefully this'll be it for a little bit #i think i've got everything out of my system #now i just gotta wait a month for the game to actually come out #anyway i'm talking a lot of shit about the P3 fellas #but i don't hate them #i just don't like them more than the hocotatians who came before them #and i'm liking the new varied cast much more #the problem with P3's leaders is that the hidden depths to their characters are SUPER buried in the end of day notes #since the game is so easy #you're likely to always hit a story beat at the end of every day #so you're not gonna get the 'misc' diaries #like did you know that alph is into poetry and has several poems he can read at the end of the day? #i didn't until i read it on the wiki #things like that just don't come up in the main game most of the time #and since i didn't experience it myself #i just don't have high opinions of the P3 crew #the addition of the piklopedia in deluxe probably helped that a little #but i just couldn't bring myself to get that game twice #so i dunno if i'd feel differently if i'd played that version

[hearth-and-veil]

My 29th birthday is this month, so I offer 29 pieces of advice I wish I could tell my younger self:

You spend too much time worrying what other people think of you. They don't.

Go to therapy.

When it comes to friends, four quarters are better than 100 pennies.

There is a huge difference in not giving a fuck and not caring. I can't explain it, but it's there. Give no fucks. Care.

One day, you are going to be so glad that your suicide attempts failed. Hold on for that day.

The five stages of grief are not linear.

Grief is not limited to death. You can grieve over your missed childhood, your lost friends, and your disability.

A Southern accent does not make you stupid or poorly educated. You can spend your whole life hiding it and speaking like you have a stick shoved so far up your ass that it's stabbing your palate, or you can unclench and speak the way you speak. You can't disprove a stereotype by abiding it. Speak. Prove people wrong, so that one day others don't have to hide part of who they are to be taken seriously.

At 20, you spend 1% of your energy on 100 things. At (almost) 30, you're at more like 10% of your energy on 10 things.

It is way more important to actually be a good person than to seem like a good person. Fuck the PC language, fuck the virtue signaling, fuck fear of being cancelled or whatever. Just go live by your values and let your actions speak while you are silent.

No employer will hire you for soft skills, but they also won't keep you around without them.

Atheism does not make you morally or intellectually superior.

You can put yourself first without being selfish. Not existing to serve other people is not selfish.

You can learn to compromise the easy way or you can learn to compromise the hard way, but you're gonna fucking learn.

Filters distort your sense of self and train your brain to be hypercritical. There's nothing wrong with your face.

FUCK monetizing your hobbies and making a career out of your passions. You will start to hate them. Make a career out of something you're good at and can stand the drudgery of, then pursue your hobbies and passions from there.

Yes, that 32 year old is exactly your type but why the fuck does he want to have sex with an 18 year old? He admits he doesn't like you. He admits women his age don't like him. Put 2+2 together and fucking RUN.

High school and college are absolutely not a reflection of the real world or how life will turn out. They are not the best years of your life.

You are just like other girls and as soon as you get over that pick me ass bitch phase, you will make some incredible girlfriends and your life will be so much richer.

You don't need to keep a wall up between your heart and the one who loves you. Love is terrifying, but it hurts more to keep him out than to let him in.

You have always had an incredible moral compass. You will lose friends over that level of discipline. But you will also have friends who love that about you, even when it applies to them.

Stand on your convictions no matter which way the wind blows. Listen to the arguments presented and analyze them within your moral framework. Tolerance does not mean blindly going along with anything other people say.

Enjoy drinking while you can because you're going to go from drinking men twice your size under the table, to death by hangover after three pints.

Being raped was not your shame. It's his.

You need an influx of different ideas around you. Echo chambers are dangerous and they create a mob mentality. They make people downright nasty. Spending time around and listening to people you disagree with is not an endorsement of their ideas; it's an endorsement of critical thinking and civil exchange.

Red Bull and Slim Jims IS NOT BREAKFAST.

People harp on about water, fresh air, sunshine, and taking walks because you actually do need all of those things. Trust me, you'll feel better if you slither out from under that rock and move a little.

Speak to yourself how you speak to the ones you love. Treat yourself how you treat the ones you love. Give yourself the grace you give the ones you love.

Choose joy. Choose to burn the special candle, choose to wear your favorite perfume every day, choose to put on your tiaras whenever you feel like it, choose to wear what you want, choose to paint your walls something wild, choose to stay up until 3 at a bonfire, choose to sleep the next day in your hammock. You only have this life, so choose joy.

Again, this is advice I would give myself. If it doesn't apply to you, then it doesn't apply to you. But I have always found wisdom in listening to what people would say to their younger selves. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that.

#advice #life advice #personal

[ritikakukreti]

Becoming the Gatekeeper of Quality: Embarking on a Quality Assurance Journey with IMT Ghaziabad

Introduction:

Ensuring quality is not just a role; it’s an art. As businesses increasingly prioritize delivering impeccable products and services, the role of a Quality Assurance Manager stands out more than ever. For those keen on navigating this rewarding path, IMT Ghaziabad offers a robust foundation to begin. Dive into the depths of how you can pave your way to success in this field, with the edge of a premier institution by your side.

Why IMT Ghaziabad?

Deciding to pursue a specialized profile like Quality Assurance requires precision. Why should one consider IMT Ghaziabad for this? Here’s why:

Curriculum Prowess: Holistic programs, designed to offer a blend of theoretical knowledge and practical insights.

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Investing time and resources in IMT Ghaziabad means aligning yourself with a beacon of academic excellence and industry relevance.

Sectors for Quality Assurance Managers:

Quality assurance isn't confined to a single industry. Armed with knowledge from IMT Ghaziabad, you can make a mark in:

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The diverse sectors underscore the versatility and omnipresence of the quality assurance role.

Navigating the Challenges:

While promising, the journey isn't without obstacles:

Dynamic Quality Standards: Keeping abreast with ever-evolving industry standards and practices.

Technological Innovations: Integrating modern tools without compromising on quality.

Stakeholder Management: Collaborating with varied teams and managing expectations.

These challenges test a QA Manager's mettle, and IMT Ghaziabad instills in its students the tenacity to overcome them with finesse.

Top 10 Employers for Quality Assurance Managers in India:

India, with its industrial growth, has numerous enterprises vying for top-notch QA Managers:

Tata Motors

Infosys

Wipro

Dr. Reddy’s Laboratories

Mahindra & Mahindra

HCL Technologies

Maruti Suzuki

Nestle India

Cipla

Reliance Industries

Weighing the IMT Ghaziabad Decision:

Delving into the world of Quality Assurance with IMT Ghaziabad is not a decision to be made lightly. Reflect upon the institute's pedagogy, its sprawling network, and the ripple effect it has on career trajectories. Remember, it's not just about the immediate aftermath of graduation but the long-term career zenith you aspire for.

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Conclusion:

Quality Assurance Managers are the silent heroes behind every impeccable product or service. With the rigors of IMT Ghaziabad's training, you are not merely preparing to be a manager but a thought leader in quality assurance. If you're yearning to be the bedrock of quality in any enterprise, your journey can find its roots in IMT Ghaziabad. Join the league of those who don’t just ensure quality but define it.

#online mba #courses online #mba

[uncle-ak]

What it means to be a high-value woman.

Being a high-value woman has become increasingly popular in recent years, but what does it mean to be a high-value woman? Essentially, a high-value woman values and respects herself sets healthy boundaries and strives to improve herself and her life constantly. This blog post will explore what it means to be a high-value woman and how you can become one.

Set and enforce healthy boundaries. One of the most important aspects of being a high-value woman is setting and enforcing healthy boundaries. This means saying "no" to things that don't serve you or align with your values and only saying "yes" to things in your best interest. It also means communicating your boundaries clearly and firmly and not compromising them for anyone.

Cultivate a positive self-image. Another critical aspect of being a high-value woman is cultivating a positive self-image. This means valuing yourself and your worth and not settling for anything less than what you deserve. It also means taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally and prioritizing your well-being.

Invest in yourself A high-value woman is someone who invests in herself and her growth. This means taking the time to learn new things, develop new skills, and pursue your passions. It also means taking care of your finances, investing in your education or career, and setting goals for yourself.

Practice self-care Taking care of yourself is an essential part of being a high-value woman. This means taking the time to rest, recharge, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. It also means surrounding yourself with positive people and eliminating toxic relationships.

Practice emotional intelligence Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. A high-value woman is someone who practices emotional intelligence, which means communicating effectively, handling conflict with grace, and navigating difficult situations with poise.

Be independent A high-value woman is someone independent and self-sufficient. This means not relying on others to validate your worth or make you happy and comfortable alone. It also means taking care of yourself and your responsibilities without relying on anyone else.

A high-value woman is all about valuing and respecting yourself, setting healthy boundaries, investing in yourself, and practicing self-care and emotional intelligence. Embodying these qualities can cultivate a positive self-image, attract healthy relationships, and live a fulfilling and rewarding life.

How did ChatGPT do with posts? Comment below with your thoughts; thanks!

[ethnus]

Top 10 Reasons to Pursue a Cyber Security Cours

Introduction

There are various opportunities in cyber security due to a lack of suitable candidates with the necessary education, training, and experience. Your successful career in IT security will begin when you upskill yourself and become a qualified candidate for various cyber security positions. Your career options as a network or cyber security professional are not limited to those of IT businesses. To support and enhance its IT security infrastructure, every firm in various sectors needs security expertise.

Reasons to Pursue a Cyber Security Course

We have listed some primary reasons to pursue a career in cyber security below.

1. Cyber Security Experts Are in High Demand

The use of the internet has grown dramatically during the past decade. From ordering food to shopping, everything has become online. While this technological transformation has been beneficial in some ways, it has also made the internet more susceptible to cyberattacks.

Cyber security is now more important than ever to protect the web from online fraud and cybercrimes. With the development of internet technology, cyber security has emerged as one of the most profitable career paths available today. The demand for cyber security experts is steadily increasing.

You should learn about cyber security because there is a demand for professionals in the field. Cyber security professionals are employed at a 12 times higher than that of other similar careers.

Adding to the facts, a shortage of 1.5 million cyber security specialists was anticipated by the end of 2019 as the demand for professionals in the field was projected to increase to 6 million, worldwide.

2. Vast Range of Options in Cyber Security Course

The word “cyber security” is frequently used without any clear definition. However, it is not as specific as you might imagine. Cyber security covers all functions within an organization involving computer technology, asset protection, and how they interact. Understanding the value of assets, identifying their vulnerabilities, understanding potential attacks, and putting the right counteractions in place to limit or eliminate compromise are part of cyber security.

Many people already possess this set of talents, and many more can readily pick them up.

Additionally, large computer businesses are not the only employers who hire cyber security specialists. Whether it is using smartphones to manage the entire operation or a vast network of systems to support large amounts of data, computers are a part of any enterprise. Both large organizations and small start-ups and businesses operated from homes require cyber security personnel. You can either be the sole IT employee in a small business or the director of IT security at a multinational corporation. You can work for a non-profit organization, a business, a government organization, or as a contractor for defence services.

Healthcare, transportation, infrastructure, construction, telecommunications, textiles, manufacturing, logistics, legal, retail, and entertainment, are a few of the industries which need cyber security professionals.

3. Excellent PayScale

Who does not want to make a nice living? It doesn’t hurt to earn a good wage, and nearly everyone appreciates it. Experience and knowledge are essential for developing a career in cyber security, but many people also hope to begin their careers with competitive pay. Cyber security professionals are in high demand, yet the cyber security industry is experiencing a shortage of professionals.

Therefore, employers are willing to offer professionals in cyber security larger remuneration. A substantial pay is another argument in favor of learning cyber security. The world is full of two different types of people. Some effectively use the internet to advance technology and the world, while others intentionally exploit the internet for harmful practices.

Therefore, businesses and governments are looking for specialists who can defend their systems from cybercriminals and are willing to pay more to do so. You may negotiate your pay with any company by upskilling to become a highly sought-after, skilled cyber security professional.

Cybersecurity has proven rewarding for people who are interested in or already work in cyberspace. The significant shortage of cyber security specialists compared to the demand has resulted in higher pay for these experts. To read the full blog: https://codemithra.com/top-10-reasons-to-pursue-a-cyber-security-course/

#cybersecurity #cyberattack

[tgh2023]

Common Career Mistakes That Must Be Avoided

Starting a new career can be incredibly daunting, and as you progress through your professional journey, it is essential to strive for success. Unfortunately, many people make mistakes along the way that could eventually lead to impacts on their overall performance or even career goals. In this blog post, we explore some of the specific career mistakes and what you can particularly do to avoid them from negatively affecting both your current job and any future opportunities in the working world. Gain invaluable advice so that you are able to achieve maximum success in your chosen path.

We all make mistakes in our careers; some are minor and fixable, while other ones can be more damaging, leading to loss of motivation and even career derailment. Unfortunately, these mistakes can lead to lost opportunities and the feeling that you’re going backward instead of forwards. This blog post will explore the key common career mistakes that should be avoided at all costs. From over-committing to not diversifying your skill set enough, there are several reasons why someone’s career may stall or not progress as quickly as they’d like. Having said that, avoiding potential missteps or neglecting to keep a detailed pay stub to manage your finances makes it possible to achieve a successful career trajectory with minimal hiccups.

1. Not Pursuing Your Passion

One mistake has repeatedly been proven to have a devastating effect on one’s career: not pursuing passions and interests. When people choose jobs based solely on money or convenience, they often feel unfulfilled and unmotivated in their current position. This leads to a lack of motivation, missed opportunities, and an overall decline in job satisfaction. It is important to identify what you are truly passionate about in order to avoid this pitfall! 

2. Over-Committing Yourself

Another mistake that can lead to burnout is taking on too much work at once without properly managing your workloads and projects properly. When this happens too often, it can decrease productivity and creativity due to exhaustion from having too many tasks on the go at once. To avoid this issue and ensure that you stay motivated throughout your job journey, it’s beneficial for you to only commit yourself if you know that you will be able to complete the task efficiently without compromising your mental health or work-life balance. 

3. Lack Of Networking

Networking is a critical aspect of any successful career path, but unfortunately, many people overlook how important it is until they find themselves needing help down the line. When individuals don’t take advantage of networking opportunities early on in their careers, they tend to miss out on learning new skills, which could potentially open new doors for them later down the line. Taking time out regularly with colleagues or attending industry events will help build valuable relationships which could offer unique experiences when looking for new job openings or promotions down the road – something which should never be overlooked! 

 4. Not Doing Any Research

Lack of research is one of the most common career mistakes people make. They often don’t take the time to explore all their options and instead rush into decisions without understanding the consequences. It’s important to research before making any major decisions, such as exploring mobile business ideas that suit your skillset or researching salary expectations for a particular job. 

 5. Failing To Diversify Skills

Another mistake many people make is failing to diversify their skillset; whether it’s acquiring technical knowledge outside of their current field or gaining experience working with different types of people from various backgrounds – being able to demonstrate these skills during interviews will make someone appear far more hireable than someone who hasn’t taken measures like this into account beforehand. Taking courses or engaging in volunteer work-related topics outside one’s comfort zone can often provide unexpected benefits in terms of personal growth and new insights into industries they may have previously overlooked due to their unfamiliarity!

6. Not Knowing Your Value:

Many people underestimate their value in the workforce and accept a job with lower pay or fewer benefits than what they deserve. Knowing your worth and negotiating your salary will help prevent you, particularly, from being taken advantage of. Additionally, it’s important to keep an eye on market trends so that you know when it’s time to ask for a raise or particularly look for a new job. 

8. Not Creating Financial Security: 

Without financial security, it can be difficult to focus on progressing in your career as you may be too preoccupied with worrying about paying bills or dealing with debt. Setting aside money each month and making smart investments will provide a cushion in case something unexpected happens. Always take the time to review your budget and check your pay stubs to ensure accuracy. 

9. Living Paycheck-To-Paycheck:

Living paycheck-to-paycheck can lead to financial instability and stress, which negatively affect physical and mental health and productivity at work. Living within your means by creating an affordable budget and reducing unnecessary expenses can provide peace of mind, particularly knowing that bills will be paid every month without stressing out about not having enough money at the end of each month. 

 10. Neglecting Self-Improvement

Finally, self-improvement is an area where many individuals fall short when climbing up their chosen career ladders; whether that means brushing up on soft skills such as communication or problem-solving techniques or just remembering basic professional etiquette – neglecting these areas can quickly lead someone back a few steps compared their peers who’ve taken proactive measures like this before them. Regularly evaluating weaknesses (and strengths) will allow each individual to tailor their approach toward finding success on whatever path lies ahead for them.

Final Thoughts:

As you can see, making even one of these mistakes can be costly to your career. Avoid them at all costs! Are you guilty of any of these blunders? Let us know in the comments. And if you need help recovering from a mistake, don’t hesitate to seek professional advice. We want you to achieve your career dreams and goals. We hope to avoid these potential pitfalls only by being aware of them. So far, we’ve looked at some common job-hunting mistakes and how to correct them. But other things can go wrong in our careers as well. In this section, we will examine five more career mishaps and what you can do to steer clear of them. As you can see, making even one of these mistakes can be costly to your career. Avoid them at all costs! Are you guilty of any of these blunders? Let us know in the comments. And if you need help recovering from a mistake, don’t hesitate to seek professional advice. 

#lifestyle #business #home & lifestyle

[thematchmakingshow]

Key Secrets To A Long & Successful Marriage!

When you’re in the midst of planning your wedding, it’s difficult to fathom that you and your spouse might not live happily ever after. However, sharing your life with another person can be difficult, especially if you have little experience with partnerships. Successful marriage require effort, dedication, and love, but they also require respect in order to be truly happy.

A marriage founded on love and respect does not arise by accident. Both spouses must contribute. The following are some critical points to focus on each day to ensure the success of your marriage.

Communicate Clearly and Often

One of the most effective strategies to maintain your marriage healthily and successfully is to talk with your spouse. Be honest about your feelings, but express them in a polite and courteous manner. Being a good listener and taking the time to understand what your partner wants and needs from you are both essential components of healthy communication. Maintain open lines of communication by chatting about things other than finances and kids on a regular basis. Share your feelings and thoughts.

Express Your Gratitude to Your Partner for being in Your Life

https://blogs.thematchmakingshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/WhatsApp-Image-2022-12-15-at-3.37.15-PM.jpeg

Make Time for Your Partner and Yourself as a Partner

With job and family commitments, it’s easy to lose sight of the romance. Plan special dates for going out or staying at home. Send your kids on a play date while you relax, converse, and enjoy one another’s company.

Plan for some Personal Time

Time spent alone is equally as vital as time spent with a partner. Everyone requires time to rest, think, and pursue their own hobbies. When you’re married, especially if you have children, that time is typically lost. Go out with friends, take a class or volunteer for anything that will enrich your life. When you and your husband are back together, you will cherish each other even more.

Understand that it’s OK to Disagree

You will not always agree on everything, but it is critical to be fair and respectful while disagreeing. Consider your spouse’s point of view. Try not to get furious, and don’t grow too frustrated. Walk away and cool down if necessary, then return to the problem when you’re both in a better frame of mind. Make a compromise on issues so that you may both give a little.

Build Trust

According to marriage therapist and researcher John Gottman, PhD, criticism, scorn, defensiveness, and stonewalling are all severe hazards to a marriage. The more a couple engages in these damaging behaviours, the more likely it is that they will divorce. His decades of research and counselling with couples have revealed that spouses who stay together know how to quarrel without being angry and how to accept responsibility for their behaviour. They are also more likely to respond promptly to each other’s requests to make amends and restore the relationship after a dispute.

Learn to Forgive

Everyone makes errors. Your partner may damage your feelings or do something that irritates you, making you angry or even furious. However, it is critical to cope with your emotions, let them go, and move on. Don’t constantly bring up the past.

Remember to stay loyal to your spouse, family, and the life you’ve created together. Support each other emotionally and practically. You, your spouse, and your relationship may evolve and change over time, but the following suggestions can help your marriage endure.

Love is a Verb, not just a Feeling

The “feel-good side of marriage” fades over time. Happiness, like all emotions, fluctuates. True love, on the other hand, is founded on a couple’s vows of commitment: “For better or for worse” — when it feels wonderful and when it doesn’t.

Successful Marriage is frequently about Battling the Conflict 

Successful couples have learned to avoid carrying grudges and bringing up the past. They recall marrying a flawed person — as did their spouse.

A Crisis does not Indicate the End of a Marriage

Storms are similar to crises in that they are noisy, frightening, and dangerous. However, in order to get through a storm, you must continue driving. A crisis might be a fresh start. Great people and marriages are born from adversity.

Reasonable couples understand that while a good house, car, or pension account may appear lovely, they do not get you married happily utilising matrimonial services. They recognise that values may be far more important.

If you want to define a successful marriage, it goes beyond having the ideal spouse in a relationship. Yes, it is a giant leap toward the appropriate mate, but it is insufficient to ensure long-term marital success. You still have things to contribute, therefore you’re the appropriate partner for long-term success.

Commitment

This is the result of genuine affection. It is the foundation upon which all successful marriages should be built. The love that led to this engagement is more profound than the love we see in Bollywood. Matchmaking should be done with a thick and thin attachment to each other. It is a text that should influence the daily lives of every relationship. If this type of involvement can be triggered in a marriage, there is little need to be concerned.

Faithfulness

We can generalise faithfulness in its vast array. You must be faithful to each other in all you do. Life does not have to be lived in isolation. In sexual affairs, fidelity is very important. This was the largest destroyer of many dwellings today. Because of the suffering caused by sexual infidelity, many spouses really tolerate one another.

If you are married, you must educate your mind and sight not to look seductively at other people; you must train your mind’s impulses not to crave for the other sex outside of your partnership. Individuals that pursue this type of education will avoid the troubles associated with broken relationships that are so prevalent in our society today.

Humility

You must be modest if you want your relationship with your life mate to last. There is no such thing as a flawless guy or woman on this planet. Mistakes will be made; failures will occur; humility is required to eat the humble pie. If you’re wrong, confess it and apologise if you want to improve your connection. You might even be correct on one case; if you don’t have any from your partner, you may admit shame even if you do! The union will not be dissolved in this manner. If your spouse settles, you can revisit the issue; this time in a calm context; difficulties can be resolved in such an environment.

Patience

Marriage is the union of two people, usually via a matrimonial site, who live their lives harmoniously as one indivisible group. One could be quick, while the other is slow. One might be carefree, while the other is a high achiever. This is the merging of two distinct scenarios, and perseverance is the key to a happy and successful marriage.

Final Words:

This is a clear call to carefully respect, manage, and contribute to your marriage. Almost every aspect of yourself is required to carry out the above relationship advice – but learning how to have a successful marriage through marriage websites makes a lot of sense. Find a perfect partner in India’s first-ever Matchmaking Show for a happy and stable marriage!

[thegardenchronicles]

North Node - The Soul's Purpose

Before we actually get into the North Node, let's talk about the soul.

What is the soul really?

Not every person defines soul the same way. Not every person even believes we have a soul.

For me however, the soul is something beyond the physical realm. A sort of life source, but from the beyond. Something that keeps us going for ever and ever and ever. I believe our soul remains constant through different life times.

Now let's get into the North Node.

The north node is quite simply the soul's purpose in this lifetime. Our inner purpose, that is different from our life mission. Our inner self which keeps us going. It is where we grow, learn, adapt, change evolve, transform and become.

The north node can show you what your soul needs you to strive for. The house it is in can show you what area of life you need to focus on and how to activate it. The planets making aspects to it can show additional information to achieve the north node. All of these can help activate your true soul's purpose.

Aries North Node

Learn to be a leader and embrace independence. Don't rely too much on others. Trust your gut and act on them. Learn to take risks. Embrace your wild side. Embrace your inner child.

Taurus North Node

Prioritise stability and work hard for financial and material independence. Nurture yourself and remain grounded. Connect to nature. Do not hide and remain in secrecy. Open yourself to the serenity and peace of the world.

Gemini North Node

Learn more, experience more, be a student, be curious, find out more. Learn to be more active in your community. Understand that there is much that you still do not know and embrace deeper connections.

Cancer North Node

Embrace the feminine, learn to accept your emotions, take time out to care for yourself, don't get caught up in moving and doing, sit with yourself and relax. It is okay to be understanding and emotional, and let go of toxic working habits.

Leo North Node

You are a star. Be you and embrace all parts of you creatively, this is your time to shine. Step away from behind the scenes and into the star light.

Virgo North Node

Bring structure into your life and set clear boundaries. Be of service to others, without letting them take advantage of you. Be more grounded and practical.

Libra North Node

Community is everything, together we are better. Be more active in your community and learn to depend on others. Not everyone is out to get you. You don't have to be alone.

Scorpio North Node

Let go of attachment to the physical and embrace the unknown. Unleash your inner psychic. Spend more time in solitude. Depend less on material comforts.

Sagittarius North Node

Expand, open your heart and mind, allow yourself to pursue more on a global sense. Philosophize and theorize. There is so much out there. The world is your oyester.

Capricorn North Node

Set goals, go for it, be active. You can accomplish anything with hard work and dedication. Embrace the masculine. Learn to be comfortable in the uncomfortable.

Aquarius North Node

Work in a community. Let humanity be the forefront. Understand that we are stronger together. Embrace your individuality without compromising community.

Pisces North Node

Be more compassionate. Challenge your inner cynic. Have faith. Embrace spirituality. Go with the flow and let go of control. Be more open and trusting.

The North Node pushes us out of our comfort zone. It asks us to take risks, and it challenges us to be the best version of ourselves.

_____________________________________________

GO TO NN PERSONA CHART

GO TO MASTERLIST

Please do not copy/plagiarize my work and do not repost without my permission.

I am no astrologer, these are solely based on my own interpretation. Please take them with a grain of salt.

sources:

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picture sources: pinterest

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#astro notes #astro observations #spirituality #astrology #astro community #divination #tarot #aesthetic #tarot community #north node

[atomicfilm]

INTJ pairings

I'll make this into a fun short "put you in my pocket and take you `to my mom's Thanksgiving party" version too.

I'm not an INTJ, but I do converse with them (and by them, I mean maybe 3 total and 1 regularly) and I've been asked to talk about my thoughts on this, so for tonight only, I'm giving myself a really cool sash that says I'm an authority on the subject. I also think as an INTP I run into somewhat similar issues with certain types.

* means I like this pairing.

Typically, the INTJ's golden pair is the ENFP. I think that works for some people, but is probably a kind of short-lasting passionate fling rather than the ideal pairing. ENFPs are great people, they're lots of fun to be around, they care a great deal. They bring out the INTJ's soft side, which they may hate but they secretly quite admire. But ultimately, ENFPs can be flaky. They see something new and exciting and they move on. Novelty is the greatest motivator in a lot of ENFPs. New friends, new places, new things to do. And while the INTJ may deeply admire that and may find it quite exciting, it's not going to last forever. Eventually, the INTJ will become tired of playing games and want to settle into their ideal lifestyle pursuing their carefully strategized goals and the ENFP will become bored. The INTJ I speak to and I have the same issue, which is that ENFPs by nature are manipulative. It can be used for the good of inspiring people and bringing them together, but it can also become quite selfish and unstable. This leads to the ENFP saying things like "You try to apply logic to everything" or "you don't really respect me" or something like that when in reality, if someone loves an INTJ they'll love that they apply logic to everything and they'll love their snarky edges.

INFPs. I have not heard a lot of feedback about them as I think INTJs tend to be drawn more to extraverts. But as someone who spends quite a lot of time with INFPs, I would imagine that a lot of INTJs who can't make it work with ENFPs can also not make it work with INFPs. Once again, INFPs are great at engaging our minds but they are terrible at accepting that we live by rationality. INTJs use Fi a little bit, so to some extent they'll have similar engagements with their emotional side, but INFPs live by thinking "what can I do to nurture myself" and INTJs live more by "how can I best mold the world to fit my vision of efficiency". You'll see the commonality of Fi at the worst point possible when the INTJ is breaking down. INFPs kind of never stop using Fi and as someone who is thinking-dominant, that is almost impossible for communication. Ultimately, they'll eventually hit a point where their love languages and ways of interactions may be so disparate that they feel neglected.

ENTPs **. This is a golden pair that I can kind of get behind. The INxJs I know are obsessed with ENTPs and tend to think they're quite attractive. They're not only gregarious (when they're not arguing) but they're also quite intellectually stimulating and since they have opposite functions from the INTJ, there is still quite a bit of difference to make it fun. There shouldn't be too many emotional issues, aside from the fact that both these types tend to bottle up their emotions and resent vulnerabilities. The ENTP will probably be the more caring of the two in a conventional sense, but I would think both would have similar love languages of caring both through action and thought. ENTPs also tend to not be quite as flaky as a lot of xNxPs are, but, I would rate both of these types as highly likely to ghost. My best advice is that if you want to be around ENTPs, pick one who can be honest about their real values and whose values align with yours. If they make a lot of bigoted jokes, take that at face value, no matter how "ironic" it is. ENTPs can be a little fake in the sense that they will blend in just enough and hide behind so-called irony to be friends with a lot of different people.

INTPs. I don't really see it. I think INTPs are lovely as an INTP who likes other INTPs. Likewise, I enjoy a good conversation and friendship with an INTJ. But I find it not only difficult to tolerate relationships but also being told what to do. I make every decision in a relationship as a compromise and I think that would eventually quite interfere with the INTJ's ambitions because I wouldn't back down on mine...at least, not without resentment. So perhaps an INTJ and INTP with similar life goals could work out romantically, but personally, I view them as platonic and the one time I liked an INTJ it ended beyond poorly. I don't bring out their softness and they don't bring out mine. We're more like buddies who complain about other people when we do the entire group project by ourselves. Of course, romantic preference is a preference.

ENTJs. When has it ever worked out for someone to date their sister-type? Name one time! If someone names one time I'll update this. I think an ENTJ and an INTJ would be quite an argumentative couple even if they were on the same side about everything. Then again, INTJs do admire extraversion and it is always nice to be around people you don't have to explain yourself to every sentence.

INFJs ****. Oh, I like this pairing. I have not heard much about it, but I think it would be really cute. INTJs are complete badasses. They're very "I'm going to take over the world and you're just going to have to deal with it. And if you say no I will secretly cry". INFJs are very "I'm going to do everything in my power to heal everyone and the world and I am probably crying because I saw a baby bunny". INFJs are The Best! They have the softness of ENFPs but they're logical and they use Ni like INTJs but have Fe, which means they are thinking about harmony 24/7 and not that Fi-version of harmony. That genuine "I will make sure everyone is cared for at no social benefit to me" kind of harmony. They do socialize with a lot of people, but INTJs sometimes like to be social and party, they just aren't typically regarded that way. Do Fe and Fi mix that well? Maybe not. But as an Fe user who is quite fond of INFJs, I think they could potentially be a very cute power couple with the INTJ and there would be fewer issues with communication than other types as Ni-doms (but this also might be boring at the same time).

ENFJs. Similar to INFJs. They might work together a little less simply because of the change in function positions.

ESFPs *. Do I know for sure that this is a good pairing? No! But gosh, do I like it. INTJs become ESFP-like when they're sad. So, you know, maybe the ESFP will draw out the worst version of the INTJ and that could really suck. But this is the perfect little theatre kid dates total nerd trope and I like that. ESFPs have the social circle that the INTJ desires and the INTJ has the "got their shit together" vibes that ESFPs, despite being quite talented and successful, may lack. They both have skills one another can benefit strongly from, but it may come at the cost of a lot of arguments. Not sure. But I think this is actually my personal favorite since they have near-opposite strengths but a common reason to respect one another.

ISFPs: Pft. Idk. This is not the same as ESFPs. ISFPs are lovely but they sort of fill the same niche that INFPs do. Perfect for an INTP like me, but I don't think INTJs are looking for the quiet, artsy, weirdo so much because they already often fill that niche to some extent, even if it's more technical. I've noticed that INxJs really want to be around people who are the life of the party and very socially dominant (and ISFPs can fulfill that role, but there are other types who win via extraversion). The ISFP will likewise appreciate a little practicality, but I've noticed they're more likely to gravitate towards other xxFPs. Probably a better friendship and as a relationship would take more effort.

ESTPs: I think this one comes with its own difficulties and will work less than ENTP/ESFP pairings. This is because while they can have the same charisma that ENTP and ESFPs have, they can also have that same fakeness as a defense mechanism. Both will value action but the ESTP will probably drain out the INTJ more than ENTPs will (who are more ambiverts) and more than ESFPs too. With ESFPs, there's a good amount of the right kind of opposites. INTJs are action-driven, but they're strategic and take a while. ESFPs are action-driven, but they're more spontaneous. And ultimately, that leads to a lot of arguments about how to get things done. Whereas, the ESFP and ENTP might give the INTJ complete room to "manage", the ESTP seems less likely to do so.

ISTPs: This would be so stale. INTJs tend to show big emotions (to their own despise) when they're upset and ISTPs love to ghost at any sign of emotion. They would dip so fast. Top-tier friendship on an intellectual level but never particularly deep and unlikely, albeit not impossible to evolve into a relationship. Same issues as with INTPs, there's going to be a lot of admiration and probably not a lot of emotional attachment. I have witnessed an INTJ have a crush on an ISTP but that ISTP had a crush on me so that tells you how that went. Messy business. 

ESTJ: Yeah, I guess. I don't like ESTJs as a general concept but I suppose INTJs aren't necessarily as opposed to capitalism and tradition. Sounds dry. Next.

ISTJ *: This is probably a really solid pairing for the INTJ. Very marriage material, have the same job, raise cool kids. But I think that sounds boring. So if you want the "perfect life", this is probably a good type for you but I couldn't do that. You would probably only have minor arguments and the INTJ would have to learn to trust that ISTJs are incredibly good at reading situations while the ISTJ would have to learn to love that the INTJ is more fantasy-oriented than they are. Odd, right? Ultimately, you have two people who can be very commitment-oriented, who care for people the same way, who want to fix society, who analyze everything. You just have two generally different ways of doing that, where the ISTJ is probably actually better at being in society and the INTJ wants to change it in more drastic ways (although, for moral reasons they both want to change it).

ISFJ: I don't imagine it working particularly well. I honestly can barely imagine it at all. An ISFJ is my best friend and he is THE MOST gentle buddy. You cannot make fun of him even playfully and keep the friendship. Probably a deal-breaker for a lot of INTJs as they tend to love a good tease. My ISFJ has dated an INTJ before and while they’re still friends, it was a bad experience to witness all around. INTJs are very competitive and ISFJs are very open with their affection so that ran into issues but also, the ISFJ is not as likely to stand up for itself in a way that INTJs easily respect, which is to say, when they do it it will be something like “hey, you hurt my feelings” and if you’re the kind of person to  respond “then you’re too sensitive” you’ve got a whole ass toxic relationship on your hands. 

ESFJ: I think this could work a little better than the ISFJ pairing and a little worse than with the ESFP. Of course, there are general grounds for arguing over emotion vs. logic, but both types can have quite a good bit of talent and practicality coexisting. ESFJs tend to be a little better with criticisms (although they are still sensitive and should be treated very gently too) and they're more likely to want to accomplish goals that the INTJ finds easier to respect. For a lot of ISFJs, their goals are sweet and simple like raising a family, working as a computer scientist. The ESFJ might be a little more oriented towards large goals similar to that of the ESFP, which is more of the category that INTJs tend to fall into. However, the INTJ is going to have to accept that ESFJs love a LOT which means throwing a LOT of parties, probably the most out of any type and its probably going to lead to some burnouts. 

Overall, INTJs are great but need to learn to practice kindness and put their natural tendency for intellectual superiority aside. They shouldn't be with anyone that doesn't want to accomplish things they can respect. They shouldn't be with people who want them to compromise too much (they probably won't). They should be with people who bring out their nurturing capabilities and who they want to do things for, but not people that they see as incapable of taking care of themselves. They may prefer more social people and admire people who can network while being direct and genuine. Based on these criteria, INFJs and ENTPs are my highest recommendations while ESFPs (my favorite) and ISTJs also make the list for various reasons.

BUT, that being said, RELATIONSHIPS (including friendships) ARE A SKILL. They are most successful when someone becomes good at learning respect and compromise that doesn't cause resentment, regardless of type. All individuals will have different specific interests as well as red flags. And if you need me to tell you if your relationship works, it probably doesn't and you can DM me.

#intp #intj #istp #estp #istj #estj #entj #entp #infp #enfp #infj #enfj #isfp #esfp #isfj #esfj #mbti #relationships #love #romance #friendships #16 personalities #intj x intp #intj x istp #intj x estp #intj x estj #intj x entj #intj x entp #intj x infp #intj x enfp

[siriusmydeer]

hello love, i was wondering if you could do a james potter x slythering fem!reader? one where she is working so hard on getting her life together. she is trying to be different than her family and working so hard but it is getting to her. she feels like she is failing and every turn she takes is a dead end. she feels like there is no purpose to what she’s doing. i think some super fluff is required, like james boosting her up and loving her. plzzzzz & thx

his slytherin

james potter x slytherin!fem!reader

summary: when you overwork yourself james is there to save the day.

word count: 2.4k

warnings: mentions of insomnia, mentions of sleep deprivation, mentions of not eating, mentions of over working yourself, angst, sad!james, house stereotypes, bad grades, implications of smut, WOLFSTAR😍, mentions of food, a breakdown, THERES FLUFF I PROMISE

seventh year was quite literally, a mess. maybe not for others, finally done school or they were super excited to travel around the world seeing things they’ve never seen before. you’re dream had consisted of constant studying, and working that barely made any time for yourself.

for the prior three years you had studied and practiced with madam pomfrey in the healers wing to eventually become a healer yourself, and it took a lot more than you thought it anticipated.

you knew as a healer, later in life you would have to deal with artefact accidents, dementor attacks, creature-induced injuries, magical bugs, potion and plant poisoning, dragon trainers with injuries, and incredulous spell damage.

with that you had to be prepared, which meant more time hitting the books and less time spending your final year at hogwarts with your best friends and your staggering boyfriend.

(hahah u see what i did there?)

james had qued in on your restless nights by gazing across at you in the great hall. the colour of emerald green becoming frequent in his life now; surprisingly to everyone else. where you were sat at the slytherin table, your eyebags already deepening by the day and your nose buried in some sort of school book.

the thought of even being like your family, made you nauseous. you didn’t want to be like your strict, immoral family, the death eaters, the murderers, and the ministry officials. who worked like machines without feelings or care.

as a slytherin born into a pureblood family those were the expectations that were almost nailed into your back like a sign said, ‘here’s the pureblood slytherin, shame her even though you don’t know her!!’

of course those were the stereotypes, ones that had been built on for centuries since salazar slytherin himself. that you of all people had to inherit. so you had to fall, and rebuild yourself entirely for even a chance. the restless nights, insomnia, caffeine and studying was your way of rebuilding.

of course that had an effect on your grades, not sleeping, not eating and barely focusing made your grades tremble a great deal to the point where professor slughorn got concerned by his best potions makers, recent poors in his class.

you were too focused on being better that you couldn’t even focus on your own well-being, that you couldn’t even see you were hurting yourself on the people around you. almost self isolating yourself from everyone entirely.

“darling?” james whispered, his body sitting across from yours at one of the mahogany tables in the library. pince set him a warning glare not to cause any mischief as she turned around.

“hmm?” you mumbled, barely acknowledging his prescence and continuing to read your defence against the dark arts textbook, something about the ‘chameleon ghoul.’

he had barely seen you all week, and when he did he saw your agonized face scrunched up in a book and your mauve dark circles that rested below your eyes clear as day.

“why don’t you take a break, dear? have a rest, you’ve been working non-stop. ve’barely seen you.” he murmured the last bit, embarrassed for feeling ‘needy.’

“can’t jamie, newts are soon i need to be prepared.” you looked up in his direction for a moment, barely catching his saddened eyes through his spectacles at your denial of his request to finally see his girlfriend.

if this were two maybe three years ago, james would not be caught dead having a conversation with a slytherin, let alone a relationship with one. the stereotypes blinding his vision for along time before he could see what was truly in-front of him.

i mean the gryffindor pride genetically ran through his veins as he was born into the etiquette pureblood-gryffindor family himself. it was almost destined for the both of you to be corporeal enemies.

but... something about your altruistic and considerate attributes subtly changed his mind. thanking merlin, and horhace slughorn for pairing the both of you in potions in fourth year. there was always something about the way you were so gentle and benevolent with him in potions class might’ve flipped a switch in his mind.

“right then... see you later?” he muttered disappointed in himself, you work so hard to prove yourself meanwhile he didn’t even have a glare in his way because he was the perfect headboy gryffindor student; with absolutely no judgements thrown his way despite his actions towards others in previous years.

“dunno, i’m studying.” you replied, your voice monotone and dull almost raspy from barely using your voice unless answering questions in class to almost being a know-it-all and pushing yourself to the tops of all your classes.

he got up from his chair, it scraping against the floor as he walked to the exit almost like a dog with its tail between his legs. he just got so mopey by your dejected less merry self. he had to do something, he had to make you understand that being a slytherin wasn’t just you.

it was a part of you sure, but ambitious just meant you strived for your goals and you were cunning which showed your amplified skill.

that didn’t mean you were— evil? being a proud reckless gryffindor was one in his heart but nobody ever thought he was malicious.

so, james fleamont potter did the only logical thing he could think of; going to his bestfriends for help. of course at first they were not over the moon glowing in delight when they found out he was dating a slytherin, especially sirius.

but that was expected, his family being his only views on how a pureblood slytherin acted only projected onto you. giving you almost a conscientious reason to work, the thought of someone james felt was his brother perceiving you as despicable only made you pursue your self judgements.

but after your book swaps with remus, you and peters athrimancy study sessions and music bonding with sirius they grew quite fond of your personality and thought that you were due with a chance with the marauders.

“moony, i need help.” he spoke desperately as remus’ face was also buried in a book, except out of his own free will.

“james needs my help? hear that sirius? prongs needs my help.” he declared proudly as the brown-haired gryffindor groaned crossing his arms.

“it’s y/n.” he mentioned, glancing in sirius’ direction before sitting on the vermillion love seat across from the fawn haired boy.

“what about her?” remus was more-so confused, what would be so wrong with you that james had to ask him for help?

“she’s suffocating herself, the books, the studying, not sleeping, not eating, nothing. i dunno what to do anymore remus, she’s so pent up on wanting people to stop looking at her like she’s heinous she’s working herself to death!” he ranted, all his anger and agitation spilling out in one fast-paced sentence that james needed to catch his breath by the end of.

“i just dunno how to make her catch a breath, take a break. what do i do?” james panted, looking at his mates for an answer.

“imperious curse?” sirius proposed, a bad proposal but his intentions were... thoughtful. “yeah let me go use an unforgivable curse on my girlfriend so she can have a study break. no thank you, next.” james sarcastically humoured him, james didn’t want to compromise your education or use an unforgivable curse on you for that matter but you looked so incredibly burnt out he didn’t know how to help you.

“body-bind curse? so she’s like.... forced to stop?” peter suggested, looking up from his transfiguration essay catching onto the conversation as he twirled his quill between his fingers.

“or, y’know something actually logical you could do is take her books. get her lavender tea or something, let her talk.” remus finally spoke, shrugging then looking at the ‘lord of the flies’ book in his hands a smirk lying on his face knowing that would he james lucky choice.

“moony, you genius! i could kiss you!” james hopped up from his seat, on his way back to the library.

“oi! i’m the only one he’s going to be kissing, prongs!” sirius yelped as james walked out of the portrait hole with a distant chortle.

on his way to the library, where you were previously seated, james made a stop to the kitchen to grab a few of your favourite snacks and some water. he dropped them back at his dormitory, but not without a mini lecture on ‘kissing moony.’ from sirius.

what a drama queen.

the castle was slowly darkening, the only light pivoting from the floating candles in the air. he saw your frozen-like figure in the same spot you were except looking over your history of magic textbook, learning about the ‘emeric the evil.’

“y/n.” he stated firmly, you almost jumped from your seat in surprise, due to your recent sleep deprivation. “merlin james, give a girl a little warning first.” you chastised before returning to your next book that was slammed together right in-front of your eyes.

“james! i was—“ you were cut off quickly by him gathering all of your books and placing them in his left arm. “what are you doing?” you questioned, looking at him with furrowed brows, to exhausted to argue with him.

“you’re not taking care of yourself, you’re not eating, you’re not sleeping, your basically a study.... that muggle thing- robot! you’re a study robot! so i’m taking care of you.” he got sidetracked as he spoke in a gentle yet firm tone.

“but i have too-“ you were cut off again by his pointer finger shushing your lips together. “no, either you sit here in silence because i’m taking your books either way or you come with me to my dorm.” james spoke, resisting to your complaints.

“fine, but you have too—“ you started off, annoyed that your study time was ruined by james incessant comments about you ‘overworking yourself.’ he though, was not having any of that. “nope.” he grabbed your hand, dragging you off to the gryffindor tower.

you gave a small tired wave to sirius, peter and remus on the way to the dormitories as they were all either on the floor or splayed across the scarlet-coloured couches. sirius following with a teasing wolf whistle and wink seeing the both of you walking up the stairs.

“don’t do anything i wouldn’t do!” he chuckled, looping his arm over remus’ shoulders.

“ha, bloody, ha, padfoot. so, so funny i’m on the floor laughing.” he teased, sarcasm lacing his words in a monotone voice almost mocking snape.

you playfully rolled your eyes before being dragged up the stairs to the boys dormitory. the only noises heard were the clacks of your shoes and the soft breathing emitting from both you and your boyfriend.

your eyes were met with candies sprawled all over his poorly made bed, one of his quidditch sweatshirts paired with your favourite joggers; the ones he probably stole from your dorm room one night; because he was keen on you just staying there with him and ‘subtly’ moving all your things into his dormitory with the rest of the boys.

you looked at him with an arched brow, a silent question of ‘why are you doing this?’ ignoring your questioning look he sprawled himself on his twin-bed, his hands clasping in his lap waiting for you to change.

you put on the clothes he layed out, feeling james’ left hand tug you onto his chest when you were done. oh his soft, pillowy chest, you almost felt tempted to fall asleep right then and there.

“darling girl, tell me what’s going on?” he softly questioned while stroking your hair with one hand, his other arm stroking your back.

“i just—“ you stuttered, feeling a wave of tears glossing over your eyes. “i feel like everything is going so, so, wrong. m’so afraid of failing, i want to be better! i don’t want to be like m’terrible family, but it all feels like so much!” you mewled into his shirt, his grasp growing a bit tighter in an effort to psychically comfort you.

“baby, you’re nothing like your family, you have to know that?” he directed your vision to his gaze, the soft marks of mascara down your dampened face only made his gaze softer.

“you work so hard on trying to be not like your family, you don’t even know how amazing you truly are. you’re so generous, you’re always willing to help someone even if you don’t like them, i know i wouldn’t have that patience!” he softly chuckled, seeing a faded grin on your lips.

you sniffed as he continued his praise, “you’re such a hard worker, and i’m truly in awe of you. you’re the one person who truly puts her best foot forward and it’s so incredibly amazing, but you’re working so hard your exhausting yourself. y/n, it’s breaking me to see you like that.” you saw small wet streaks around his eyes, not truly realizing your self destructive habits had been harming people around you; had been harming him.

“jamie, i’m— im so sorry!” feeling the wash of emotions suddenly bundled up wash all over you, your nervous system feeling overwhelmed with the emotions of sadness, guilt and anger bubble up all at once. you whimpered into his shirt, spewing out mumbled apologies that were barely coherent due to all the sobs.

“shh- shh, don’t apologize.” he articulated, shifting his hips up and grabbing a folded parchment from his back pocket.

“w—whats that?” you questioned, trying to calm down the mewls and whimpers that wanted to escape your throat.

“this, darling, is a schedule.” he pointed out, a week schedule with times on it that labeled your subjects as well as times of the day. he also dedicated certain parts of every single day with “james!!” in bright red ink.

“so those,” he pointed out, directly at all the times he wrote his name leading up to the newt dates, “are times you and me spend together, no studying, just loving. so i can remind my beautiful, smart, and amazing talented loving girlfriend how astonishing she is.” he said with a grin, proud of himself.

“you really know how to charm a girl, potter.” you may have teased, but without him you don’t know what you would’ve done. james was truly your saviour, your light, stars to your moon; if you will.

he was yours, and you were definitely his. 

taglist: @fathermarty @kittykylax @terr0rizer @aspiringsloth20 @dear-luna @famdomhideout @hufflepogue

#james potter one shot #james potter fluff #james potter fic #james potter fanfiction #james potter x oc #james potter #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #james potter x reader #harry potter oneshot #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #harry potter smut #james potter smut #james potter series

[bubblegumstardust]

Fuck it, some things from the new cinderella I actually loved bc dear lord some of you will not just let a dumb fun kids movie be a dumb fun kids movie: (sidenote: I know Ella Enchanted did plenty of this too, but comparisons for dumb shit like this really just don't matter imo)

Gwen. Just Gwen in general, she was a great addition

The Prince actually being a fleshed out character unlike the Disney cartoon

The town Crier songs slapped

Fabulous Godmother just being amazing

The way Romesh and James were clearly having a fun time there

The fact that they used a take in the final cut where one of the actors slipped and fell on their ass at the ball

The over-the-top dresses. Like hell yeah have fun with that shit

Acknowledgement of how uncomfortable glass shoes would really be

Material Girl and What a Man. If your movie has me singing and dancing on the couch that is good enough for me

Ella actually having a hobby and passion she wants to pursue. Like, guys, wanting to chase your dreams and make something of yourself and be successful is not #girlboss and worthy of mockery. She ain't after being some millionaire CEO who exploits her workers, she literally just wants to make her living doing something she loves and getting recognition for her work and talent and if that's a bad #girlboss thing, then I guess us girls might as well go back to being unemployed housewives dependent on a husband because God forbid a woman earn a living on her own without having to work for and likely be exploited by a man 🙄🙄🙄

Ella's family actually having some complexity and character depth

Like it's actually so nice to have nuance and recognition that people who do bad things are not completely inherently evil. Literally like everything about who we are is a product of whatever society we live in and our own experiences and learning. This isn't an excuse for treating others badly (although that was definitely toned down in this movie anyway) but it's a reminder that reality isn't "oh this person is bad because they're just evil and evil people do evil things". Life and people are not that simple and one dimensional and it's actually nice to see that portrayed in these usually evil for evils sake characters.

CHARACTERS CHANGE AND GROW. Omg was it refreshing to see some actual growth from background characters like Ella's stepfamily and the King when they're confronted on some of the wrongness of their actions and learn and grow and correct their behaviour

All the little and big changes and growth/maturing moments the Prince went through as a result of meeting Ella and learning more from her

The Queen. I just really love her

The little joke about Peirce Brosnan being a bad singer after what happened with mamma mia

The little dig (intentional or not) of the Prince referring to his father as "your highness" rather than what a King's proper title (?) Is - your majesty. Again idk if that was intentional or if the writers just weren't aware of the difference in status between the two, but that little moment of defiance and disrespect to the King because he's annoyed just made me really happy

Healthy compromise and balance in Ella and the Prince's relationship and how their meeting and relationship helped them both in figuring out what they wanted and what their priorities were

Gwen will literally be such a great Queen and I'm glad that both siblings figured out and got to be in the right place for them rather than what had been expected and decided for them

The friendship between the Prince and that one manservant

Look, I'm not saying you have to like this movie, I would never say that about any movie because we all have different tastes and wants, but I expected this film to literally be a dumpsterfire based off some Internet reactions and the simple fact is it wasn't. It was by no means a masterpiece, but that type of movie isn't meant to be. And I'm not going to pretend there weren't bad and questionable aspects of it but no more than plenty of other movies that don't get this same treatment for things, and I also won't say it's exempt from criticism of course and everyone has a right to like and dislike and discuss valid critiques as they so desire, but this feels like another instance of people hating just to hate in a lot of cases. Anyway that's that. Just wanted to highlight some of the things I really enjoyed about this film (even if I know I got a little ranty at points) so, bye friends, have a nice night xxx

#amy's inane ramblings #cinderella #cinderella 2021 #long post sorry #i just had some thoughts to share bc i had a great time watching that film

[samwisethewitch]

Coping with religious trauma

CONTENT WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS DISCUSSIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS, TRAUMA RECOVERY, AND HOMOPHOBIA. The advice in this post is intended for an adult audience, not for those who are legal minors.

A lot of people find their way to paganism after having traumatic experiences with organized religion, especially in countries like the United States, where 65% of the population identifies as Christian. (This number is actually at an all-time low — historically, the percentage has been much higher.) Paganism, which is necessarily less dogmatic and hierarchical than the Abrahamic religions, offers a chance to experience religion without having to fit a certain mold. This can be extremely liberating for people who have felt hurt, abused, or ignored by mainstream religion.

To avoid making generalizations that might offend people, I’ll share my own story as an example.

My family joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, better known as the Mormons, when I was nine years old. The Mormons are an extremely conservative sect of evangelical Christianity that places a heavy emphasis on maintaining a strong community that upholds their religious values. The problem with that is that Mormon values are inherently racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic. As a teenager in the Mormon Church, I was told that as a woman, my only purpose in life was to marry a (Mormon) man and raise (Mormon) children. I was discouraged from pursuing a college education if it meant delaying marriage. I was not allowed to participate in the full extent of religious ritual because I was not a man. I was not allowed to express myself in ways that went against Mormon culture, and I kept my bisexuality secret for fear I would be ostracized. I didn’t have any sort of support system outside the Church, which inevitably made the mental health issues that come with being a queer woman in a conservative Christian setting much, much worse.

I left the Mormons when I was seventeen, and by that time I had some major issues stemming from my time in the Church. I had been extremely depressed and anxious for most of my teen years. I struggled with internalized misogyny and homophobia. I had very low self-esteem. I had anxiety around sex and sexuality that would take years of therapy and self-work to overcome. I wanted to form a connection with the divine, but I wasn’t sure if I was worthy of such a connection.

I was attracted to paganism, specifically Wicca, because it seemed like everything Mormonism wasn’t. Wicca teaches equality between men and women, with a heavy focus on the Goddess in worship. It places an emphasis on doing what is right for you, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. It encourages sexuality and healthy sexual expression. Learning about Wicca, and later other types of paganism, helped me develop the kind of healthy spirituality I’d never experienced as a Mormon. Although Wicca is no longer the backbone of my religious practice, it was a necessary and deeply healing step on my spiritual journey.

I’m not sharing my story to gain sympathy or to make anyone feel bad — I’m sharing it because my situation is not an uncommon one in pagan circles. The vast majority of pagans are converts, meaning they didn’t grow up pagan. Some had healthy upbringings in other faiths, or no faith at all, and simply found that paganism was a better fit for them. Others, like myself, had deeply traumatic experiences with organized religion and are attracted to paganism because of the freedom, autonomy, and empowerment it offers.

If you fall into this latter category, this post is for you. Untangling the threads of religious trauma can be an extremely difficult and overwhelming task. In this post, I lay out six steps to recovery based on my own experiences and those of other people, both pagan and non-pagan, who have lived through religious trauma.

While following these steps will help jumpstart your spiritual healing, it’s important to remember that healing is not a linear process — especially healing from emotional, mental, and spiritual trauma. You may have relapses, you may feel like you’re moving in circles, and you may still have bad days in five or ten years. That’s okay. That’s part of the healing process. Go easy on yourself, and let your journey unfold naturally.

Step One: Cut all ties with the group that caused your trauma

Or, at least, cut as many ties as reasonably possible.

Obviously, if you’re still participating in a religious organization that has caused you pain, the first step is to leave! But before you do, make sure you have an exit plan to help you disengage safely and gracefully.

To make your exit plan, start by asking yourself what the best, worst, and most likely case scenarios are, and be honest in your answers. Obviously, the best case scenario is that you leave, everyone accepts it, and all is well. The worst case scenario is that someone tries to prevent you from leaving — you may be harassed by missionaries or concerned churchgoers, for example. But what is the most likely case scenario? That depends on the religious community, their beliefs, and how involved you were in the first place. When making your exit plan, prepare for the most likely scenario, but have a backup plan in case the worst case scenario happens.

Once you’ve prepared yourself for the best, worst, and most likely outcomes, choose a friend, significant other, or family member who can help you make your exit. Ideally, this person is not a member of the group you are trying to leave. Their role is mainly to provide emotional support, although they may also need to be willing to run off any well-meaning missionaries who come calling. This person can also help you transition after you leave. For example, you might make a plan to get coffee with them every week during the time your old religious community holds worship services.

Finally, make your strategy for leaving. Choose a date and don’t put it off! If you have any responsibilities within the group, send in a letter of resignation. Figure out who you’ll need to have conversations with about your leaving — this will likely include any family members or close friends who are still part of the group. Schedule those conversations. Make sure to have them in public places, where people will be less likely to make a scene.

If you feel it is necessary, you may want to request that your name be removed from the group’s membership records so you don’t get emails, phone calls, or friendly visits from them in the future. You may not feel the need to do this, but if contact with the group triggers a mental health crisis, this extra step will help keep you safe.

Of course, it’s not always possible to completely cut ties with a group after leaving. You may have family members, a significant other, or close friends who are still members. If this is the case, you’ll need to establish some clear boundaries. Politely but firmly tell them that, although you’re glad their faith adds value to their lives, you are not willing to be involved in their religious activities. Let them know that this is what is best for your mental and emotional health and that you still value your relationship with them.

Try to make compromises that allow you to preserve the relationship without exposing you to a traumatic religious environment. For example, if your family is Christian and always spends all day on Christmas at church, offer to celebrate with them the day after, once their religious commitments are over.

Hopefully, your loved ones can respect these boundaries. If not, you may need to distance yourself or walk away altogether. If they are knowingly undermining your attempts to take care of yourself, they don’t deserve to be in your life.

During this time, you may find it helpful to read other people’s exit stories online or in books. One of my personal favorites is the book Girl at the End of the World by Elizabeth Esther. Hearing other people’s stories can help you remember that other people have been through similar situations and made it out on the other side. You will too.

Step Two: Seek professional help

I cannot overstate the importance of professional counseling when dealing with trauma of any kind, including religious trauma. Therapists and counselors have the benefit of professional training. They are able to be objective, since they’re approaching the situation from the outside. They can keep you from getting bogged down in your own thoughts and feelings.

I understand that not everyone has access to therapy. I am very lucky to have insurance that covers mental health counseling, but I know not everyone has that privilege. However, there are some options that make therapy more affordable.

There may be an organization in your area that offers free or low-cost therapy — if you live in the U.S., you can find information about these services by checking the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine or visiting mentalhealth.gov. You can also look for therapists who use a sliding scale for payment, which means they determine an hourly rate based on the client’s income. And finally, if you have a little bit of extra cash you may want to look into therapy apps like BetterHelp or Talkspace, which are typically cheaper than in-person therapy.

If none of those options work for you, the next best option is to join a support group. Support groups allow you to connect with other people whose experiences are similar to yours and, unlike therapy, they allow you to get advice and feedback from multiple people. These groups are often free, although some charge a small fee.

Finding the right group for you is important. You’re unlikely to find a group for people recovering from religious trauma but, depending on the nature of your trauma, you may fit right in with a grief and loss group, an addiction recovery group, or a group for adult survivors of child abuse. If you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you may be able to find a queer support group. (The LGBTQ+ club at my college was an invaluable resource in my recovery!) Depending on your area, you may also be able to find groups for specific mental and emotional issues like depression or anxiety.

Make sure to do your research before attending a meeting. Find out what, if anything, the group charges, who can join, and whether they use a curriculum or have unstructured sessions. See if you can find a statement about their values and philosophy. Make a note of where meetings are held and of who is running the group. Some support groups meet in churches and may or may not have a religious element to their curriculum. It’s best to avoid religious groups — the last thing you need right now is to be preached to.

Getting other people involved in your recovery will make you feel less alone and prevent you from getting stuck in your own head. A good therapist, counselor, or support group can help you realize what you need to work on and give you ideas for how to approach it.

Step Three: Deprogramming

“Deprogramming” refers to the practice of undoing brainwashing and reintroducing healthy thought patterns. This term is normally used in the context of cult survivors and their recovery, but deprogramming techniques can also be helpful for people recovering from a lifetime of toxic religious rhetoric.

To begin the process of deprogramming, familiarize yourself with the way organizations use thought control to shape the behavior of their members. I recommend starting with the work of Steven Hassan — his BITE model is a handy way to classify types of thought control.

The BITE model lays out four types of control. There’s Behavior Control, which controls what members do and how they spend their free time. (For example, requiring members to attend multiple hours-long meetings each week.) There’s Information Control, which restricts members’ access to information. (For example, denying certain aspects of the group’s history.) There’s Thought Control, which shapes the way members think. (For example, classifying certain thoughts as sinful or dirty.) And finally there’s Emotional Control, which manipulates members’ emotions. (For example, instilling fear of damnation or punishment.)

Here’s a simple exercise to get you started with your deprogramming. Divide a blank sheet of paper into four equal sections. Label one section “Behavior,” one “Information,” one “Thought,” and one “Emotions.” Now, in each section, make a list of the ways your old religious group controlled — and maybe still controls — that area of your life. Once you’ve completed your lists, choose a single item from one of your lists to work on undoing.

For example, let’s say that in your “Information” column, you’ve written that you were discouraged from reading certain books because they contained “evil” ideas. (For a lot of people, this was Harry Potter. For me, it was The Golden Compass.) Pick up one of those books, and read it or listen to it as an audiobook. Once you’ve read it, write down your thoughts. Did you enjoy it? Why or why not? Why do you think your group banned it? What was in this book that they didn’t want you to know about? Write it down.

Once you’ve worked on the first thing, choose something else. Keep going until you’ve undone all the items on your lists.

If you want to go further with deprogramming, I recommend the book Recovering Agency by Luna Lindsey. Although this book is specifically written for former Mormons, I genuinely believe it would be helpful to former members of other controlling religious groups as well. Lindsey does an excellent job of explaining how thought control works and of connecting it to real world examples, as well as deconstructing those ideas. Her book has been a huge help in my recovery process, and I highly recommend it.

Step Four: Replace toxic beliefs and practices with healthy ones

This goes hand-in-hand with step three, and if you’re already working on deprogramming then you’ll already have started replacing your unhealthy beliefs. This is the turning point in the recovery process. You’re no longer just undoing what others have done to you — now you get an opportunity to decide what you want to believe and do going forward. This is the time to let go of things like denial of your desires, fear of divine punishment, and holding yourself to unattainable standards. Get used to living in a way that makes you happy, without guilt.

Notice how each step builds on the previous steps. Therapy and deprogramming can help you identify what beliefs and behaviors need to be adjusted or replaced. Your therapist, support group, and/or emotional support person can help you make these changes and follow through on them.

These new beliefs and practices don’t have to be religious — in fact, it’s better if they aren’t. If you can live a healthy, happy, balanced life without religion, you’ll be in a better position to choose a religion that is the right fit for you, if that is something you want.

Your new healthy, non-religious practices may include: mindfulness meditation, nature walks, journaling, reading, exercise, energy work, learning a hobby or craft, or spending time with loves ones — or it might include none of these things, and that’s okay too. Now is the time to find what brings you joy and start doing it every day.

Step Five: Ritual healing

This is an optional step, but it’s one that has been deeply healing for me. You may find it helpful to design and perform a ritual to mark your recovery.

Note that when I say “ritual,” I don’t necessarily mean magic. Rituals serve a psychological purpose as well as a spiritual one. They can act as powerful symbolic events that mark a turning point in our lives or reinforce what we already know and believe. Even if you don’t believe in magic, even if you’re the least spiritual person you know, you can still benefit from ritual.

You might choose to perform a ritual to finalize your healing, or to symbolically throw off the chains of your old religion. It can be elaborate or simple, long or short, joyful or solemn. It might include lighting a candle and saying a few words. It might include ecstatic dance. It might include drawing or painting a representation of all the negative emotions associated with your old religion, then ritually destroying it. The possibilities are literally endless. (If you’re looking for ritual ideas, I recommend the book Light Magic for Dark Times by Lisa Marie Basile.)

One type of ritual that some people find very empowering is unbaptism. An unbaptism is exactly what it sounds like — the opposite of a baptism. The idea is that, if a baptism makes a Christian, an unbaptism makes someone un-Christian, no longer part of that lineage. It is a ritual rejection of Christianity. (Obviously, this only applies if you’re a former Christian, though some of the following suggestions could be adjusted to fit a rejection of other religions.)

If you’re interested in unbaptism, here are some ideas for how it could be done:

A classic method of unbaptism is to recite the Lord’s Prayer backwards under a full moon. (For a non-Christians version, use a significant prayer from whatever religion you have left.)

Run a bath. Add a tiny pinch of sulfur (a.k.a. brimstone) to the water. Get into the bath and say, “By water I was baptized, and by water my baptism is rejected.” Submerge your entire body under the water for several seconds. When you come back up, your unbaptism is complete. (You may want to shower after this one. Sulfur does not smell good.)

The Detroit Satanic Temple has a delightfully dramatic unbaptism ritual. For a DIY version, you will need holy water or some other relic from the faith you were baptized in, a fireproof dish, a black candle, and an apple or other sweet fruit. Light the candle and place it in your fireproof dish. Toss some holy water onto the flame (not enough to extinguish it) and say, “I cast my chains into the dust of hell.” Take a bite of the apple and say, “I savor the fruit of knowledge and disobedience.” Finally, declare proudly, “I am unbaptized.” You can add “in the name of Satan” at the end or leave it out, depending on your comfort level.

Personally, I’ve never felt the need to unbaptize myself. I’ve ritually rejected my Mormon upbringing in other ways. Maybe someday I’ll decide to go for the unbaptism, but I’ve never really felt like I needed it. Likewise, you’ll need to decide for yourself what ritual(s) will work for you.

Step Six: Honor your recovery

Our first reaction to trauma is to hide it away and never speak of it again. When we do this, we do ourselves a disservice. Your recovery is a part of your life story. You had the strength to walk away from a situation that was hurting you, and that deserves to be celebrated! Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come!

You may choose to honor your recovery by celebrating an important date every year, like the day you decided to leave the group, the date of the last meeting you attended, or the date you were removed from the membership records. Keep this celebration fun and light — get drinks with friends, bake a cake for yourself, or just take a few moments to silently acknowledge your journey.

If you feel like having a party is a bit much, you can also honor your recovery by talking to other people about your experiences. Share your story with others. If you’re feeling shy, try sharing your story anonymously online. (Reddit has several forums specifically for anonymous stories.) You’ll be amazed by how validating it can be to tell people what you’ve been through. `

Another way to honor your recovery is to work for personal and religious freedom for all people. Protest laws with religious motivations. Donate to organizations that campaign for the separation of church and state. Educate people about how to recognize an unhealthy religious organization. Let your own story motivate you to help others who are in similar situations.

And most of all, take joy in your journey. Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come, but know that your recovery is a lifelong journey. Be gentle and understanding with yourself. You are doing what is right for you, and no god or spirit worthy of worship could ever be upset by that.

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