#bullying is abuse

[bewitched-bullet]

Be brave and speak, do not let abusers silence you. We will be here to support you.

If they ask what there is to be scared of, remind them what happened on my blog today. I spoke out and was attacked, openly mocked on my post that was Out Of Character, by the characters who refuse to speak out of character.

This is what there is to be afraid of. Exactly what happened to me. Maybe more, I do not know. But they acted like I was invalid, they tried to invalidate my experience.

They spoke in character on a post where I was out of character, opening up on how they never spoke out of character. Devalidating and mocking.

Keep speaking out, they apologized. They can't do the same thing again, (If they do, it is proof they do not feel bad and will not change.). This is a safe space and we will make it a safe space to speak out.

I am shaking, after facing this. We are brave. We should not be shamed or invalidated, we should not be mocked. It was such a simple little situation I faced, and was met in full. I can only imagine what the real victims, who face more, are feeling and worried about speaking out. We support you. We will face them with you.

Thank you, for supporting me to speak out. Thank you.

Bless you.

You are a real victim of harassment and bullying as proven on your post. And if they dirty delete again, I'll post it myself. I absolutely hate that you experienced this. If I could trade places with you, I would.

They keep digging their hole deeper and twisting themselves up tighter through no fault but their own.

What you have experienced is abuse and it will not be tolerated in this community.

#greg lestrade #mod speaks #mod post #a scandal in tumblr #mental abuse #emotional abuse #bullying #bullying is abuse #sherlockbbc #sherlock fandom

[nerdby]

There is no cancel culture. Some of us just want bigots to shut the fuck up and say so. Rightwing pearlclutchers love to dish out insults for everything under the sun, but once someone calls them out they start whining about cancel culture.

Cancel culture is a copout.

#hot take #truth #lgbt #pearlclutchers #cancel culture #victim complex #black lives matter #landback #black queer lives matter #stop asian hate #stop racism #protect native women #bullying #abuse #bullying is abuse #cyberbullying

[moon-meerkat]

i say teachers rights only because workers rights in general but like i cannot feel bad for you at all while y'all are just sitting idly by and letting bullying happen (not to mention participating/inciting it, but that's not the majority)

#bullying #bullying is abuse

[eelfuneral]

What kills me about bullying is how much it tends to be downplayed compared to other forms of abuse. If a romantic partner or caretaker did even half of the things that my bullies did, then they would be seen as horribly abusive, but instead, their behavior gets a cutesy name (bullying) and is treated like an adolescent rite of passage.

Bullying is child abuse perpetrated by that child’s peers, full stop. Let’s call it what it is.

#bullying tw #abuse tw #bullying #bullying is abuse

[feltreckless]

it’s weird how i’m so scared to talk to people, and for ages i never really knew why. i know these people don’t hate me because they’re nice to me, so why do i hesitate to talk back?

then i remembered how i was treated in school.

any time i would open my mouth to say something, anything, i was told “shut the fuck up” “oh my god no one cares” “why are you even talking?” or i was just straight up ignored.

this made me crawl inside myself and stop speaking, because i was either made fun of or not listened too.

i still carry this to this day, i’m still nervous to speak to people because of how badly i was bullied, it’s not a reach to say that bullying traumatised me.

even when i got older people would still laugh at me for just existing or speaking, i was just not liked by anyone.

nothing i said was of value, nothing that came out of my mouth was taken seriously.

i’m still working on this, but i still get so anxious at the reactions of people when i talk, because i’m just expecting them to laugh in my face and tell me i’m stupid.

#bullying #bullying is abuse #mental health #trauma

[xfang-is-deadx]

Yesterday in art, the topic of my bully came up and 2 friends who went to my elementary school said that "he'd either kill for you or he'd kill you." Which is accurate. And yeah, I should be comforted because I'm not alone, he's targeted everyone, there's nothing wrong with me, he's just a scumbag.

But I'm not comforted.

He victimized so many people.

And yet, everyone else just shrugs it off.

Everyone else carries on with their lives.

Why does it have to be me who's constantly haunted by everything he's done?

Why do I always have to be angry?

Why do I always have to be terrified that if I turn a corner, hell be there? No matter where I go?

Why do I always have to be the sensitive little bitch when everyone else can just go on?

Why does it have to be me?

#tw bullying #tw cursing #tw school trauma #tw school related trauma #tw abuse #tw depressing thoughts #bullying is abuse

[iwasbored777]

Barbie movie never said "we need to stop men" it said "we need to stop toxic masculinity" and if that made you feel called out I got some news for you

#it's like when joker was released and everyone was like beware of victims of bullying and i was like why #and they said cuz they will kill us all #and i was like joker only killed his abusers so if you are afraid that a person like him will come for you it means you deserve it #same here #barbie movie #barbie #feminism #toxic masculinity

[trapped--in--a--jar]

hot take: bullying is abuse

#bullying #abuse #bullying is abuse

[guest-walter]

What I made for people who got into (cyber)bullying. I hope you enjoyed it.

#squidward #facts #memes #support #fatherless #anti bullying #spongebob #bullying is abuse

[intersexfairy]

hey uh. don't listen to the people who say the bullying won't matter once you get out of school. because shit. it will.

bullying is peer abuse. it's traumatizing. and while getting out of the environment helps, the hurt doesn't go away. all the things ingrained in you don't go away. just because your bullies might not be in your life doesn't mean the awful things they did to you don't matter. they are still very significant people in your life.

please don't brush it off. please treat yourself with kindness and fight for the support and safety you deserve. you are not the person your bullies thought you were. you never were. you deserve to be happy and confident, and minimizing what happened won't lead to that.

#ifairy #queer #mental health #bullying #trauma #trauma recovery #trauma survivor #ptsd #cptsd #recovery #mentally ill #mental health support #depression #anxiety #depressed #neurodivergent #actually autistic #support #emotional abuse #peer abuse

[bewitched-bullet]

How did you make the jump from it being a badly organised rp to John being abusive and intimidating others? That seems a tad far-fetched and really quite ridiculous? Where is the so-called evidence you speak of? Are you able to see posts on John's blog that nobody else is able to see? Just curious, because I really don't see it.

Follow the tag "a scandal in tumblr" and read those posts plus some of the comments in those posts.

Here is a link to @di-greglestrade post of them displaying invalidation, minimization, gaslighting, and my "favorite", an attempt at triangulation. All of it is textbook for domestic abusers, bullies, and more. Their lack of self awareness is amazing.

And they reacted like that JUST FOR A SMALL UNSATISFACTORY non-communitive conversation. As is to be expected coming from them.

Link

There's also the ask Greg sent to me about what happened to them about their experience.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. This doesn't include how they can't stop stalking our profiles and harassing with posts, comments, and asks even though they claim to want no part in any of this. Very common in bullies when they start losing control of a situation or person(s). Controlling the narrative to ONLY paint themselves in a positive light. I can go on and on and on....

It's not my responsibility to hand feed you what is directly in front of you.

And if you cannot connect those dots yourself anyway, thank your lucky stars for not experiencing abusive trauma, witnessing abuse countless times (which is a trauma itself) or gone to a university to study such things. May your innocence never be sullied.

Anyone with critical thinking, let him pull the strings together.

It's not rock science and the community on tumblr are not stupid.

#a scandal in tumblr #answering anons #anon ask #bullying is abuse #bullying #sherlock community #sherlockbbc #sherlock fandom #sherlock rp

[hussyknee]

DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

An abuser denies the abuse ever took place, attacks the person that was abused (often the victim) for attempting to hold the abuser accountable for their actions, and claims that they are actually the victim in the situation, thus reversing what may be a reality of victim and offender. It often involves not just "playing the victim" but also victim blaming.

TL;Dr: Stop pathologizing neurodivergent people and individualizing abuse, and start treating abusers and bullies as a social failing that are products of privilege.

Unless you want to insist that every bitchass who's ever plagued marginalized people has NPD.

#ableism #npd #bpd #aspd #cluster b #abuse #abuse dynamics #bullying #anti bullying #interpersonal relationships #systemic issues #social justice #capitalism #pop psychology #white people #capitalist individualism is a disease #twitter #elongated muskrat #knee of huss

[moon-meerkat]

when someone says "back in my day we had real bullying" it's like damn sorry you never had actual brain chemistry for them to damage

#bullying #bullying is abuse #tw bullying #tw: bullying #actually bullied

[queerism1969]

#autistic pride #autistic #autism #autistic headcanon #autistic feels #autistic spectrum #autistic women #late diagnosed autistic #anti bullying #american bully #bullyworldwide #mental abuse #mental heath support #mental health #mentally exhausted #mentally tired #symptoms #mentalwellness #care #failure

[xfang-is-deadx]

I feel like shit calling myself a survivor or a victim.

I feel like shit calling what I went through abuse.

I feel awful talking about the years of bullying I endured, because others have it worse. It was just childish insults, yet I still let it break me down into something vulnerable. Weak. Powerless.

I feel horrible talking about my terrible 5th grade teacher, others have had worse. I should just be glad she didn't scream at me.

I feel like shit talking about what happened in January 2021. She could've gone through with it, and I just overreacted.

Nothing I've experienced is horrible enough.

I have not suffered enough to deserve happiness.

#tw bullying #tw school related trauma #tw gaslighting #tw mentally ill #tw passive aggressive #tw past trauma #bullying is abuse #your trauma is valid

[pollyanna-nana]

“I can’t help anyone…”

An analysis of Kieran and how it relates to his most controversial scene.

Warning for Indigo Disk DLC spoilers ahead

——————

Greetings! I’ve made it no secret that, despite what some people think of him, I am very fond of Kieran Pokémon’s little emo ass. As a result, when perusing the tags I’ve been bombarded with a lot of very… questionable takes regarding his personality and character, which I simply do not agree with. In particular, I’ve seen a lot of interpretations of a specific scene that I don’t think get at the heart of the story and have some fundamental misunderstandings of the subtextual clues we’re given about how Kieran and Carmine were raised, and I wanted to take the opportunity to present my own interpretations and how I have come to understand this young boy’s complex journey to self acceptance.

This scene, right here, has been the source of many specific complaints I’ve seen regarding Kieran’s character. I’ve seen people saying that his actions here make him a bully, that he’s shaming a fellow student for having troubles at home, and generally is an unpleasant, entitled person. And while I think there’s definitely some truth to those points (and they make him all the more interesting…) I don’t think a lot of these people are thinking about what this scene is really trying to tell us.

Yes, it’s showing the player that Kieran has changed since we last saw him. That his shy, kind demeanor has been supplanted by a stark cruelty that was hinted at in the end of Teal Mask, and that we have reason to fear and fear for him. However. I would argue that it also serves to tell us more about what Kieran himself has dealt with as a student at Blueberry academy. Specifically...

Kieran’s struggle with identity and self worth.

From the earliest segments of Teal Mask, we get strong indications that Kieran has quite the inferiority complex. Worse still, said feelings are reinforced by the people around him, knowingly or not. Here, when Carmine tells us that Kieran's "nearly as strong as she is", we know she simply means to compliment us in her own Carmine-ish way. However, purposefully or not, it reinforces Kieran's idea as someone who is always, at best, almost good enough. Almost as strong as his sister. Never as or more.

He tells the player that he'll hang back, not wanting to get in our way. With no prior prompting, either. How many times has he been made to feel that he was a burden? I adore Carmine, but one of her most pressing flaws is her struggle to make Kieran feel loved and wanted. Which, is actually pretty normal between siblings as she herself is a child. But still, given how much Kieran clearly loves and respects her, her words hold a lot of weight. And it's only Carmine who we get to see treat Kieran this way. While it's possible it's coming almost entirely from her, I'll discuss later why I think it may be more complicated than that. For now, though, it's clear that Kieran himself thinks very lowly of his abilities and would rather stay out of people's way, lest they berate him for perceived inadequacies.

He's had problematic behavior modeled for him by Carmine.

Here, too, we see how Carmine's treatment of him reinforced some very negative ideas of interpersonal conflict and resolution. All throughout Teal Mask, Carmine is telling him to shut up and be quiet, and does what she thinks is best for him without consideration for how it may make him feel. No physical violence, but emotional abuse is abuse all the same. While we know that she was ultimately trying to do what was best for him, and had very good reasons for keeping secrets, its undeniable that the words she used only further reinforced the idea that the strong will push around the weak, and that they have no need for anyone who falls behind in some way.

This scene in particular is fascinating, as we get to see first hand the kind of dynamic that pushed his feelings of inadequacy towards the breaking point. Here, after the player and Carmine run into Ogerpon for the first time, he thinks her weird behavior is because they were making fun of him. It's already sad that he would jump to that conclusion, but then Carmine smiles through his entire dialogue and says nothing. No reassurance, no denial, nothing. Kieran walked away from this conversation thinking that his sister and his new friend were talking about how much they dislike him. Speaking from personal experience, constantly feeling like people are talking about you behind your back at a young age can lead to you becoming brutally honest in a maladaptive way, and it can lead to people thinking you're cruel and unkind because you refuse to keep your thoughts to yourself.

Generational trauma, neurodivergence and cycles of abuse.

Here is where we leave screenshot land for a bit and I talk more about things that I suspect to be true, but cannot ultimately prove. However, I ask that you bear with me here and consider what may be going on above the heads of the child protagonists in a children's video game. (After all, if some people can write whole essays comparing Kieran's behavior to some very serious real-world events... I think I am within my right here!)

Kieran and Carmine, to me, match very strongly with the idea that they came from a bad home life. I don't necessarily mean their grandparents, as they seem nice enough (though flawed), but instead that their parents, whoever they were, contributed substantially to their strained relationship and problematic behavior. This post may seem very Carmine-negative, but I actually do not blame her for what she's done, not really. I do think that she has the agency and experience to take responsibility for how she's treated her brother, but I also think that it is something that was modeled for her by her parents, caretakers and teachers. I think it's very important to keep in mind in all conversations about these two that negative behaviors like these rarely manifest out of the ether. When I see child characters acting this way, I think less "wow, what horrible people!" and more "who in your life is modeling this kind of behavior for you?"

Full disclosure: I am an older sister myself, and my younger sister is very close to me in age in the same way that I see Carmine and Kieran as being. I see a lot of myself in her, which is why I deeply understand her frame of mind in everything here. Being expected to be the emotionally mature one in a sibling dynamic is difficult when you're so close in age, and it can lead to a lot of frustration as you feel like you're made to grow up too fast while your younger sibling is shielded from responsibility. It also doesn't help if the adults in your life model a lot of negative behavior, especially power dynamics, and if you have any sort of neurodivergency.

Speaking of... I wholeheartedly agree with the interpretations of the siblings having some combination of autism, ADHD, BPD or several other potential conditions. I won't go into depth, but without question there's something going on with them that's both untreated and misunderstood by those around them. Which, makes a lot of sense considering where they come from. Kitakami is a small nation, mostly agriculture based, and Carmine in particular is very resistant to the idea of it becoming a tourist destination for wealthier countries. They may not have the resources and infrastructure, along with cultural awareness, to properly diagnose and treat certain mental health conditions. Kieran doesn't even have a phone!

Something I don't see mentioned often is how Kieran and Carmine being at Blueberry is more than likely a very isolating experience for both. Being at a prestigious school in Poke-America, when coming from rural Poke-Japan, must've been a very difficult transition. Given that it doesn't seem like ANY of the adults in their lives are interested in their mental and physical well-being, I can only imagine that exacerbated their already existing issues. Not to mention that the culture of BB seems to be overly concerned with strength in battles, it's no wonder that both children's worst traits were made to fester over time.

Entitlement and disenfranchisement

Okay, enough of that. Back to screenshots. Here I want to talk about how some people interpret Kieran as being bratty and entitled, and while I don't necessarily disagree, I think with the context of everything previously laid out in this post that it's a lot deeper than simple entitlement. We know, from his own words, that all he wants is acceptance, independence, and meaningful human connections. To him, that comes in the form of strong pokemon (acceptance at the academy), going anywhere he wants (feeling empowered and self-confident), and being able to make friends with "anyone". Any friends at all, really.

While his "I worked so hard, and for what?! I STILL lost in the end!" can feel petulant and whiny, it also cuts deep for anyone who has grown up without. I think it's very important to note that Kieran is at precisely the age when systemic inequalities really start to weigh on someone, and before the brain and life experiences are developed enough to handle it in a healthy way. While some cope better than others, for many around this age the weight of knowing that there are people out there who simply have more than you ever will not by any sort of effort or triumph, but rather than the dumb luck of birth into a wealthy, privileged setting... well, it can be crushing.

It's something most grow out of, but for a kid like Kieran, who was so obsessed with the story of a genuine injustice (Ogerpon vs. the 'loyal' three), is it any wonder that he would react this way? The player is a particularly extreme example, of course, as protagonist powers are some real bullshit. Coming to terms with the fact that the system has failed him, but he can still achieve great things and become a person he can be proud of, is something that will probably only come with time and wisdom as it does for most of us. In the interim, though, petty teenage tantrums are to be more or less expected.

Feeling powerless.

In case you think I'm extrapolating far too much, I think it's important to note that, after the severe shock that was Terapagos breaking out of its own ball, Kieran reinforces all of these ideas himself. Here, when Carmine is begging him to help you, he refuses not because of hatred of you but rather his own self-doubt and loathing. Which, ultimately, has always been the core of everything Kieran has done up to this point in Indigo Disk's plot. He believed so strongly that if only he could become stronger, then he could prove to everyone, and more importantly himself, that he was worthy of taking up space and achieving his own dreams. But it's here, when everything truly comes crashing down around him, that the facade slips and shows Kieran as he truly is- a little boy who feels helpless in his current circumstances.

I've seen people say that when he cries after becoming determined to help you defeat Terapagos, it's out of jealousy or anger. However, I couldn't disagree more. The light returning to his eyes shows, in my view, that Kieran feels hope for the first time since he had his dreams crushed back in Teal Mask. That, even though he feels powerless, even though he's hurt people and hurt himself, he's still wanted. That he can do something meaningful, even if it's just cleaning up the mess he helped to make. (Briar don't think I've forgotten about you. You're the most culpable in this situation given you're the only adult- but I digress.)

In conclusion.

He bapy.

No but really, what does all of this even mean? I think going back and reading the conversation at the start of the post, especially if you were initially put off by it, with the context outlined here changes a lot about how one can interpret Kieran's behavior. Note that I am not trying to justify anything he said or did, but rather point out that this fictional child has some serious, unresolved issues that deserve time and thought turned towards them, especially in the way that they reflect real-world individuals and systems. Ultimately, if you want my opinion I think Kieran would be a pretty nasty person to know in real life if I was in school still, but you know what? So was I at his age. And so were most people, if I'm being honest. But that doesn't tarnish a person forever. All of life isn't high school, even though Kieran- or you, reading this right now- may feel like it is. He has a lot of growing up to do, but that's life. And in the meantime, he sure is one hell of an interesting character to follow.

#polly speaks #polly writes #pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #indigo disk #indigo disk spoilers #teal mask #pokemon kieran #rival kieran #pokemon carmine #kieran posting #character analysis #tw bullying #tw abuse #ask to tag #im tired. anyway im going grocy shopping anyone want anything from tjs