#before fritz jumps in and oh my god
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afterglow
Series Warnings: Language, alcohol and drinking. Military inaccuracies. Allusions to and smut. Friends to lovers. Mutual pining. Unrequited love. Minors DNI. 18+. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger
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Chapter 4: Punished You With Silence
The room was silent after Jake's omission. Everyone stood there with wide eyes looking between the two of you.
The shock of the confession cause Coyote, Phoenix, and Bob to lose the hold they had one you.
Before they could stop you, you pounced on Jake, taking him off guard and knocking him to the ground.
"You son of a bitch!" You screamed at him as you landed a few good blows to his face. It took Rooster, Coyote, Payback, Fanboy, Bob, and Maverick to pull you off of him as Phoenix, Omaha, Fritz, Halo, Yale, and Harvard watch on in horror. A few of them went to go get help.
By the time all was said and done, you were sitting in Cyclone's office with bruised knuckles and Jake's blood staining your flight suit.
"Well, Lieutenant Briller, I hope you're satisfied with yourself. Lieutenant Seresin has a broken nose and will have to be grounded until it's healed." He tells you.
"He deserves worse." You scoff and roll your eyes.
"Lieutenant Briller. This is no laughing matter. I could have you court martialed and dishonorably discharge, but for some reason, far beyond my wheelhouse, Lieutenant Seresin begged me not to. He seems to have more grace than you do. Now, I don't know what entanglement the two of you have been in to get yourselves in this situation, nor do I want to know. All I know is that you two will have plenty of time to work through your issues while you are grounded for the next six weeks at minimum." Cyclone states.
"But, sir!" You protest. "There will be no buts, Lieutenant. I've made my decision, and that is final. You'll report for desk duty at 0800 hours tomorrow morning." Simpson finishes before he dismisses you.
You storm out of his office and head to the locker rooms to shower and change.
Once you're clean, you jump in your car and speed over to the Hard Deck. You know Jake and the rest of the crew are probably over there.
You push your way in and find them in their usual corner.
You march right up to Jake, who looks only a little banged up and jerk the pool cue out of his hand.
"I hope you're fucking happy, Jacob. I'm grounded and on desk duty for the next six weeks because of you." You sneer at him.
"I wonder why? Oh, right, because you broke my fucking nose. Be glad that I talked to Cyclone and told him not to arrest you. Yet another reason you should be thanking me." Jake chuckles.
"You are such a fucking asshole Jacob Seresin. Do you get off on being such a god damn menace to the world? Like seriously, what is your fucking problem?" You yell at him.
"You. You're my fucking problem. And you lost the right to call me anything other than Hangman the minute you broke my nose." Jake sneers.
"Oh, I forgot you hated being called Jacob. You didn't seem to mind me calling you that when you were balls deep in me though, did you?" You click your tongue at him. The rest of the squad watches on, afraid to intervene.
Jake freezes, unsure how to respond. "I don't even know why I'm here. You don't care about anything I have to say. You've made that abundantly clear that you don't care about anyone other than yourself." You scream at him.
"I've spent a year and a half of my life hung up on you, hoping that one day you would change. I can't believe I let you string me along and waste my time." You spit.
"And you want to talk about how you're the reason I'm here. I'm the reason you're here, Jacob." You grit out.
"What are you talking about, Glow?" He demands.
"When the Navy was recalling people for this mission, they asked me first. They wanted me for the mission. I asked if I would be flying with you, and I was told they weren't taking pairs from squadrons. They were afraid that when it came down to it, the pairs would he more loyal to each other than to the success of the mission." You explain to him.
"I told them I couldn't fly with another pilot. I didn't trust anyone else in the box. They understood and moved on. Three days later, you tell me you're going back to Top Gun and flying a single seater. I was loyal to you, but you were more than happy to throw me under the bus and gallivant into the sunset on your own." You finish.
"Y/N, I—I had no idea." Jake breathes out, visibly softer than before.
"Of course you didn't. You didn't care to ask. So before you go and act like you did me some favor by having me transferred here, make sure you have all the facts straight, sweetheart. As soon as my desk duty is up, I am putting in a request to be transferred back to Lemoore. Hell, maybe I'll request somewhere on the East Coast, I don't care at this point, just so long as I can get the hell away from you!" You take a deep breath before turning on your heels and walking out of the near silent bar. Just before you leave, you yell over your shoulder. "Too bad I couldn't have knocked out a tooth, too!"
You let out a shakey breath when you make it to your car. You'd just pulled into your garage when you let the tears fall. Once you had composed yourself, you vowed that these would be the last ones you shed over Jake Seresin.
.............
Desk duty was the absolute worst. You hated pushing pencils and not being in the air. You hated it even more because Jake was stationed right across from you, and every day, you had to look at his stupid, no longer perfect face.
He was also the worst office-mate. He clicked and tapped pens, hummed too loud, slurped his coffee, and never sat still. Everything he did agitated you.
You did your best to bury yourself in the paperwork. Jake, however, spent most of his time trying to figure out how to apologize to you. How could he tell you that he was worried you would reject him? How could he face you and say that he'd been in love with you since the first moment he met you. How could he tell you that he couldn't bear the thought of flying without you?
He needed help, so he went to the one person he thought might be useful in this situation.
"Bob, how do I fix things with Glow?" Jake asked him one day after work.
"Bagman, please don't drag me into your drama." Bob sighed.
"Bob, please, I'm desperate." Jake pleaded with him.
Bob sighed. He knew he was going to regret this. "In my experience, when my wife and I get into a heated disagreement, a good romantic gesture goes a long way." Bob told him before leaving.
A romantic gesture? Jake could work with that.
While Jake was trying to win you back, you were trying to stay as far away from him as possible. You were currently at your house with Phoenix, pouring your heart out to her.
"So the two of you have been doing this for almost two years?" She asked you, shock all over her face.
"Yep." You replied, taking a sip of wine.
"It was fine at first, but then—my feelings got in the way. I tried to break it off. We said 'one last time,' more times than I care to count. A few weeks ago, I asked him to stay the night. I'd never asked him that before. He told me I would, but—he didn't." You breathe out.
"Do you love him?" Phoenix asked you. "I did. But he broke my heart. I let him break my heart. And the thing is, I'd take him back in a heartbeat. I'm not strong enough to tell him no." You sighed.
"Do you want to take him back?" Phoenix pressed.
"I just want him to care about me the way I care about him. But I know, even if he did, he'd never admit it. He's too stubborn. Plus, we could never go back to the way we were before." You admit to her.
"So, what are you going to do?" Phoenix asks you.
"I'm going to transfer. I can't be around him. I can't let myself be hurt by him again. He made his feelings clear. And I have to accept that." You tell her.
"I've already let the admirals know. In three weeks, when my suspension is up, I'll be able to go back to Lemoore. Got the papers today. My old captain said a spot is mine if I want it. All I have to do is sign them and turn them in." You say. She nods her head.
"You know you don't have to go, Glow." Phoenix tries to reason with you.
"I do, Nix. I've spent so long putting other people first. I have to take care of me." You assure her.
"Well, I guess we'd better make a bunch of memories these next three weeks then." She laughs. "I know everyone is at the Hard Deck right now. Want to go?" She asks you.
"No, I don't think that is a good idea. Plus, I have some packing to do anyway." You tell her. She hugs you before she leaves. You hang your head and turn to the pile of boxes in the corner of the room. You grab an empty one and begin to fill it. A few tears slip down your cheeks. You really didn't think you would be doing this again, packing up your life. You thought this would be your last station. But, life never goes according to plan.
..............
"Bagman!" Phoenix shouts at him as soon as she enters the Hard Deck. "Why must you yell Phoenix? My nose is already broken. Are you trying to bust my ear drums, too?" Jake groans. Natasha doesn't respond. She flicks Jake on the tip of his nose and grabs him by the ear before dragging him to a bar stool and forcing him to sit.
"Nat, what the fuck is your problem?" He asks her.
"My problem? Try what the fuck is your problem!" Phoenix tells at him.
Jake looks at her with confused eyes.
"Glow is leaving." She tells him. The rest of the squad had gathered around to see what was going on. Murmers that echoed the news Natasha had just given them swirled around the group.
"Glow isn't leaving. She was just mad and said that to be mean." Jake shrugs.
"No, she meant it. I saw her papers with my own eyes. She said she talked to your old captain and he said she could come back. All she has to do is sign her request papers and turn them in to Simpson for it to be finalized. She leaves in three weeks. She's already started to pack. Glow was being serious when she said that." Phoenix explains to him.
The blood drains from Jake's face.
"No, she has to be kidding. She can't leave." He stands up abruptly.
"She said she can't keep being around you. That it hurts too much because you'll never care about her the way she cares about you. She told me she had to put herself first for once." Nat tells him.
"But I do care about her. I've always cared about her." Jake defends himself.
"No, you don't, Jake. Not the way she deserves. You don't hurt the people you care about. You don't take them for granted." Phoenix tells him.
Jake wants to argue with her, but he knows that Natasha is right.
"I have to go talk to her. Right now." Jake exclaims before slamming some bills on the bar and running to his truck.
Think dark clouds hang in the air. By the time Jake makes it to your house, rain is pouring down.
He jumps out of his truck and runs to your door and pounds on the wood with his fist. It seems like he spends an eternity waiting for you to answer.
"Jake?" You say when you open the door. He moves to come in, but you block his way.
"What are you doing here?" You ask him. You take in the sight him him, out of breath and drenched from head to toe.
"Are you really leaving? Phoenix says you're leaving in three weeks. Please tell me she's lying." He gasps.
"She's not. I got my papers today." You tell him.
"Glow. Y/N, you can't leave. You can't leave me." Jake says, a sob threatening to crack his voice.
"Why not, Jake? You left me. You left me over and over again. It's my turn to do the leaving." You say. You see the hurt flash across his eyes.
"Y/N—I— please. What can I say? What can I do to get you to stay?" Jake pleads with you.
"Nothing. I've made up my mind. You should leave. It's late." You say as you try to close your door. He wedges his foot to stop it.
"Y/N, please. I'm begging you. Please don't go. Give me another chance. Let me make this right. Please, Y/N. I love you. I can't lose you." Jake begs. Tears streak his face and mix with the rain drops.
"Oh, Jake. You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that. But it's too little, too late. In case you forgot, this was what you wanted." You tell him.
"But—" He protests.
"All you had to do was stay, Jake. I wasn't asking you to wake up the next day and confess your undying love for me. You broke my trust, you broke my heart, and you broke me." You told him.
"Glow—" He reached for you.
"Stop, Jake. You made your choice, and now you have to live with it. Now, please, get off my porch." You said as you shut the door in his face, leaving him standing there in the rain.
Jake stood there in silence, staring at your door, rain pelting his skin.
He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to the wood.
"Glow, please. Please open the door." He begged you.
He waited, praying you would open in and tell him you had changed your mind. But as the seconds went by, he realized that your door wasn't going to open back up.
After accepting his fate, Jake walked back to his truck. He climbed in and sat the silence and shivered from the chill that was setting in.
Never in a million years could he imagine losing you. You brought so much warmth and light to his life, and now that he could feel it fading away, he knew he had to do something—and he needed to do it fast.
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
Taglist: @thedroneranger @roosterscock @shanimallina87 @desert-fern @teacupsandtopgun @mayhemmanaged @lovinglyeternal @lovingbradshawafterdark @wkndwlff @roosterforme @daggerspare-standingby @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233 @hecate-steps-on-me @cassiemitchell @na-ta-sh-aa @milestellerlover @katieshook02 @mak-32 @je-suis-prest-rachel @soulmates8 @ohgodnotagainn @diorrfairy @eli2447 @xoxabs88xox @potato-girl99981 @djs8891 @roosterbruiser @roosters-girl @sebsxphia @roostette @rosiahills22 @dempy @olliepig @seresinsweetie @linkpk88 @my-obsession-spn @eternalsams @callsign-magnolia
#cherrycola27#top gun maverick#top gun#tgm#hangman seresin#jake hangman seresin#hangman top gun#hangman smut#hangman x reader#lt. jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#jake seresin smut#jake seresin#tgm fanfiction#tgm fic#tgm smut#afterglow
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Protect You Pt. 2
(A/N): I went ahead and made a little outfit for the reader so we can have a visual for her! This is part 2 in the Protect You series! Part 3 will be dropping here shortly! Hope y’all enjoy 😊
Pairing: Colby Brock x ghost!fem!reader
Warnings: death, superstition, language, fighting, demons, paranormal activities, the usual ghost/pirate themes
A couple of hours passed as they spoke with some of the other people in the house, ones you had grown close with in your time here. You made sure to stay close to the guys and let them know if the spirit they were speaking with was good or not. If they encountered an angry spirit they would heed your frantic warnings and leave the room. They were beginning to get ready to leave when you were needed most. They were back in the parlor, you standing guard over them all, but particularly Colby. You had taken quite the liking to him specifically and realized that he was unaware of the abilities he possessed, leaving him the most susceptible.
They were talking amongst themselves, you standing behind Colby with your arms crossed over your chest, your stare set on the door in front of you. All of the sudden, you see movement on the floor coming towards the room. Quickly realizing what it was, you send the rempod into a wild fritz. The guys jump and realize you want to speak with them. Sam quickly turns on the spirit box and asks you if everything is okay.
“Crawler coming. Go stand in corner. I protect.”
They look around at each other, clearly trying to decide whether to do as you say or just book it out of the house.
“Please.”
“Okay, (Y/N). We’re going to the corner. Please be safe,” Colby says quickly, ushering the guy to the corner of the room.
Everything happened so fast. One second you’re directing the guys where to go, and the next, the Crawler is lunging itself at them. Throwing yourself in front of them you tackle it to the ground with a loud thump, causing them to jump behind you and grab onto each other, looking wildly around the room. The Crawler throws you off of it and tries to advance forward. Grabbing one of its creepy ass legs, you throw it across the room behind you, causing the glasses on the table behind you to shatter and the table to give out and crush under its weight.
“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT SHES FIGHTING SOMETHING,” screams Nate all in one breath.
Ignoring their yells, you continue your attack. Launching yourself at it, you pull the daggers on your back from their holster for the first time in centuries. Daggers made of pure silver, something your first, highly superstitious, captain insisted on before you went to the Walrus. At the time you only held onto them because they were nice daggers, but now you’re eternally grateful to your first captain and his bewildering fears. Because you came to learn that pure silver is the only thing that can hurt the Crawler and Shadow Man. Taking a swing at the beast before you, you land a blow, sinking the dagger into its shoulder. Letting out a grotesque wail, it flings you across the room where you skid to a stop right in front of the guys.
Jumping to your feet, you see that Shadow Man has decided to join in.
You sigh and let out a quiet, “…fuck.” Which the guys behind you seemed to have heard given the frantic yelling behind you asking if you’re okay. Not having time to let them know, you quickly deflect the Shadow Man’s attack while the Crawler recovers. For some reason, you have a flashback to your life aboard your first ship.
The waves crash against the side of the ship as you sail back to Nassau after your latest hunt. Captain Hornigold appears behind you, clapping a hand onto your shoulder.
“Yes, Captain?”
“(Y/N), there’s something you should know if we ever encounter another being like that again.”
He still seemed quite shaken up after he and the entire crew witnessed a spirit floating above the water after your catch. She didn’t really do anything to scare you, but when she lifted her hand to point at the Captain, he started shouting this word that you couldn’t quite understand. But after shouting it at her a couple of times, she dissipated completely.
“If you ever see anything like that, just shout the word ‘Exire’ until it leaves.”
“Uh… alright, Captain. May I ask what it means?”
“It’s Latin for be gone. If you do this, they will leave and not bother you again unless you invite it back.”
Coming back to the present, you’re confused for a split second as to why you would remember that now, but quickly realize why when the Crawler starts at you again.
“Exire!”
Both entities jolted slightly, but still advanced.
“Exire!!”
Again, they paused for a second before advancing once again.
“EXIRE!!”
That seemed to do the trick, as they began to shout angrily at you before disappearing.
Once they left a deafening silence fell over the room. You look around to take in the damage you had done to the room and heard behind you, “(Y/N)… are you still there…?”
You turn around to see the guys still huddled in the corner, clinging onto each other for dear life, all except Colby. He was standing a little ahead of them, wide eyed, and frantically looking around the room. You sigh a little, sad that they were so scared, but infinitely grateful that they were alright. You smile softly at Colby, even though he can’t see it, and walk over to the only lamp left that hadn’t been absolutely obliterated and tap it to turn it on. The guys let out a collective sigh of relief and you hear Colby murmur, “thank god you’re okay.”
“That was insane, (Y/N)! Kinda wish we could take you on all of our adventures,” said Sam while chuckling with the rest of them. After a second their laughter dies down and you see them glancing at each other like they’re actually considering it. While they take a moment to collect themselves you make your way back to the smaller mirror that was still intact and write, “you okay?”
They smile at each other, realizing you’re concerned about their well-being past simply making sure they survived the night. Colby somehow knows exactly where to look, almost like he’s looking directly at you when he says, “we’re okay, thank you so much for protecting us. That was amazing, (Y/N).”
Looking at him you realize you don’t want him to leave. You want him to stay and protect him and keep his company. But deep down you know that you couldn’t possibly ask that of him. So instead, you think about if you were to go with them. You desperately wanted out of this place, you deeply missed the open ocean and constantly seeing new things. It wouldn’t exactly be the same, but it would be better than staying here any longer. While you desperately wanted to leave with Colby, you weren’t sure if he would be okay with having an attachment. You decide it can’t hurt to at least ask, so you walk to the mirror again and write, “Come with you?”
They look at each other, understandably hesitant, and seem to be getting ready to deny you before, “Yes. You can attach to me.”
You turn to see Colby had stepped forward and was looking in your direction earnestly. You could sense that he understood how desperately you wished to leave and that you would never do anything to harm them. You smile and let out a sigh of relief and write, “Thank you.”
#colby brock x reader#colby brock x y/n#colby brock#Colby Brock x ghost!reader#sam and colby#fan fiction#colby brock imagine#pirate!reader#ghost!reader#protect you series
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Me back with a dorky af idea because... well..
Prompt: Dagger squad doing regular chaotic Dagger shit. Discussion arises. Or no wait debate. About who has the biggest BDE. Phoenix has everybody beat I'm not taking arguments. Everybody disses Mav trying to argue his nonexistent case. Hondo is covering Bobs ears.
Final showdown between Admiral Kazansky and Vice Admiral Simpson.
Maybe you argue one case a bit too strongly. Maybe someone overhears. Maybe he has to ask Warlock wtf bde means.
Discuss the possibilities. Please.
-- I know we talked about bestie Jake but we didn't talk about him enough so here he is, in all his glory and I love him. Also I don't remember what the "put that in your pentagon budget" guy's actual job was so forgive me--
You weren't entirely sure how the discussion arose but now that it had, it was positively impossible to stop it.
"IT DOESN'T COUNT, SHE DOESN'T HAVE ONE!" Fanboy bellowed through the recreation room clueing in everyone who hadn't already caught on to what they were arguing about.
"You're only saying that because you're losing Mickey," Phoenix replied with a smirk that had the man turning a lovely shade of tomato red.
"No I'm saying that because the fact that you do not have a dick disqualifies you from the fucking ranking, Natasha," he spat
"Oh, oh," Jake said, looking up high, a hand over his eyebrows as if to shield his eyes," Guys, something's falling," he added before gasping, "oh my god, it's Mickey's BDE ranking! It just keeps falling and falling and falling," he said, progressively looking down until he was firmly staring at the floor, "and falling an-- oh no, send an ambulance, I think it has just hit rock bottom..."
Coyote winced, "ouch, that looked like it hurt... Are you okay? Will you recover?"
"Oh fuck off. This thing's rigged anyway," Mickey said, crossing his arms over his chest with a pout and making everyone laugh.
"Okay, what did I miss?" You asked, having briefly gone to the vending machine to get snacks.
"We're ranking everyone by level of BDE. Fanboy judt plummeted to the bottom, never to be seen again, and Phoenix is at the top," Jake explained while you handed out Kit Kats to the squad, making sure to pout a little mockingly at Fanboy as you tucked his chocolate bar into the pocket of his sweater.
"Good girl," you praised, sending Nat a wink, "Now, big question... Where do I stand?"
"Second place," Jake replied, "I'm in joint third with Javi, then, Bob is a surprising fourth. Payback is fifth. Halo is sixth, thanks to her barfight on Thursday. Fritz and Omaha are joint seventh, Yale and Harvard are eighth, Maverick is ninth and Fanboy is tenth." he said, "We have yet to rank Hondo, Vice Admiral Simpson, Warlock and Admiral Kazansky. Oh! And that flightplan coordinator you like... I don't remember his name, the pentagon budget guy, you know the one..."
"Oh Ian? Ian goes in first. Sorry Phoenix, but his outburst will be written in the annals of history as one of the most legendary things to say to a superior officer," you said. Phoenix, though dissapointed, tipped an imaginary hat at your statement.
"Hondo... the man, the myth, the legend --" you started, tapping Jake on the leg to give you space as you sat down beside him on the edge of the bench.
"Hey, hang on, where am I in this entire thing?" Rooster asked, suddenly catching up with the fact that he hadn't been ranked and looking quite offended.
"Below Fanboy," Jake stated stated
"Jacob be nice," you replied, gently hitting him on the shoulder. He looked at you for a second then stuck out his tongue. You rolled your eyes at him and turned away, he leaned forwards and kissed your cheek.
"Eww. So when are you guys going to admit you're dating?" Halo asked with her head in her hands, here eyes glancing between the both of you.
"We're not. I'm single and little miss BDE over here has a boyfriend," Jake replied, poking you in the side with his finger. In your surprise you let out a high pitched squeal and jumped a little, almost falling off of the bench but caught by Jake and Nat, who had lunged across the table to catch your arm.
You found your seat againt, "Right, Cyclone or Iceman, who goes where?" You asked
"Ooh kinky," Jake whispered in your ear and you slapped his arm again.
"You're a menace," you said with a smile
"What are you gonna do about it? Tell your boyfriend?" He mocked in a low voice only audible to you, swinging an arm around you and pulling you into a hug, "you know what, guys, I think Y/n needs to be the deciding vote on this one," he said loud enough for the still arguing squad to hear.
"Why's that?" Coyote asked, raising an eyebrow in question
"She's the only one of us who hasn't been either told off by the Admiral for reckless flying," he nodded towards Rooster who had received a stern talking too after passing too close to a control tower and making the Admiral spill coffee all over himself, "Or snapped at by Cyclone for a reason or another," he said, meaning the rest of the squad. Even Halo hadn't been spared after forgetting her manual in her dorm on a day Cyclone had been particularly grumpy.
They all seemed to agree with Jake. He looked at you expectantly, grinning mischievously and wriggling his eyebrows.
You pretended to think about it for a second, "I'm going to go with Cyclone --" you replied
"Going to go with me for what?" He asked from behind, clearly surprising the rest of the squad too. You closed your eyes and tried to no avail to stop the crimson blush creeping up to your face, "Lieutenant L/n? Anyone care to explain?"
"We were ranking everyone by BDE, Sir" Jake replied.
Warlock, faithfully standing by Cyclone's side, fished his phone out of his pocket with the hand that wasn't holding his coffee while the Vice Admiral looked over the group of blushing squad members.
"Lieutenant L/n, pray tell me, what on earth is BDE?" He asked
"It's -- err --" you stuttered out
"Sir," Warlock said, holding out his phone for Cyclone to see, having no doubt pulled up the definition. With every sentence he read, Beau's eyebrows shot up a little more.
"My office, please. Now." He told you with a tone as cool as ice.
"Yessir" you obeyed, standing up and walking off in front of him, your eyes firmly trained on your shoes.
"You're an ass," you told him as soon as the door locked behind him in his office.
Beau snorted, "I'm the ass? Seresin lured you into that trap and I'm the ass," he said with a smile.
"I am not dating Seresin," you replied,
"I couldn't tell," he mocked, sitting himself down on the edge of the desk with his legs crossed
"Beau--" you started, ready to explain Jake was just a friend
"I'm joking " he laughed, "I know he's not your type," he winked
"Damn right," you laughed, coming closer to Beau until you stood in front of him, "My type is you," you said, leaning in to kiss him.
"Is he coming on Friday?" Beau asked when you broke the kiss, trying to change the subject to keep your behaviour vaguely work-appropriate.
You hummed, "Should I make dessert or do you think we'll have enough," you asked.
You had been agonising over the food since Beau had told you he wanted to hold a housewarming party to celebrate you both moving in together in the new apartment. There wouldn't be many guests, only Jake, your sister and Beau's brothers, their wives and their children, but you were still worried there wouldn't be enough food to eat.
"Make that pie we had on Friday," he answered, "Jake said he was bringing wine, right?"
"And a side," you replied, secretly hoping he'd also bring his mother's famous peach crumble as well as the potato salad you had requested.
Jake was a surprisingly amazing baker, so much so that he'd been the only one of his family to have been given a copy of Nicolette Seresin's cookbook, containing dozens of state fair baking competition winning recipes. In fact, Jake had been the one to teach you how to bake in the first place.
"Perfect. Think I can bribe him into manning the grill?" Beau asked
"Probably," you replied, "You'll need that beer he likes though," you said. Jake wasn't actually a big drinker and much preferred a soda to anything else, but there was one specific brand he liked, a belgian import with an impossible name, that he would do just about anything for.
"I think this is a convincing amount of time for a reprimand, don't you?" Beau said after waiting another few minutes
"Wow, way to tell me to leave," you joked
Beau laughed, "I would never, honey, you know that. You could literally be attached to me and I still wouldn't be spending enough time with you," he replied, holding you close for another kiss
"You're a sap," you laughed
"Only for you, babygirl," he said, "I love you,".
"I love you too," you replied, pecking his lips one last time
"Wait!" He said, "Who's number one?"
"Ian. Flightplan Ian,"
"Ian? 'I am afraid of pigeons' Ian?" He asked incredulously and you nodded
"The outburst did it," you explained
Beau hummed, "But I'll always be first for you, right?"
"I'm going now," you replied with a smile
"Y/n, I'll always be first right?" He asked again as you unlocked the door and stepped out with a smile, Beau sprinted out behind you but stopped right outside his office. He looked around at the empty corridor, "Traitor!" He shouted. You were scared you had actually offended him for a moment but when you looked back at him you saw he was smiling.
"Love you too!" You shouted back
#fanfic#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick#top gun x reader#fanfiction#original fic#beau simpson x reader#beau simpson#beau cyclone simpson#cyclone x reader#cyclone
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FNAF AU- Clean Up Time
Ship: Springtrap x Self insert
Word count: 1,259
Summary: The after math of the events of FNAF 1, where a clean up crew is hired by Henry Emily to help refurbish and confiscate the animatronics.
Paige is apart of that clean up crew and decides to leave the rest of her crew mates to finish the job, all the while exploring the rest of the pizzaria. Only to end up in parts and services, to find the one and only William Afton. AKA, Springtrap.
CHAPTER THREE
I have never seen… So much… God, it’s sick to look at. How can anyone-- Well, I do it for a living-- But, this. This takes the cake.
Or pizza-- God my mind is a fucking mess right now.
Bodies, bodies just everywhere. Parts scattered about as if this was a free-for-all-- I mean, to THEM, it was a free-for-all. I didn’t think they would do all this, all in one night!
All in, oh boy. Oh… O-Oh no--
~
Paige grabs a nearby bucket that was nearby Springtrap, hugs it close to her body as viscerale noises escape her lips. Muffled by the bucket, so they wouldn’t exit out silently. So those, those animatronics wouldn’t hear they missed one person to eviscerate.
“Honestly, I’d thought they would have done worse.” Springtrap comments, not phased by the entire situation.
“WORSE?!” Paige shouts back before getting light-headed once more, and heaves into the bucket she was hugging.
“Henry didn’t give us any heads up that these… These monsters would attack.”
Springtrap looks away, as that name isn't what it wanted to hear again. That man, the bane of its existence, was the reason why it was still here. Trapped in this horrible place, but now he had a second chance. Possibly, it could-- He, he could fix all of this.
“Let me go and speak to them. Stay here.”
Paige grabs his arm and holds him back.
“NO! You’ll get hurt!!”
Springtrap huffs and yanks his arm away, before flexing his metallic digits.
“Like I can feel pain. But I’ll be fine.”
“They know me.” Springtrap adds before opening the door. Looking both ways before signaling to Paige to remain here.
She nods and notices the spilt bucket.
“I got that.”
Springtrap sighs and shakes his head. Before nodding and leaving.
~~
In the front entrance, the party room to specific, The Main Four enjoy themselves. After ‘cleaning up’ the intrusion that invaded their home.
(as the bodies were just sitting in the chairs, some even have party hats on)
Freddy Fazbear, the brown bear in the top hat, was adjusting his microphone. Humming to himself as he was set to getting this shindig started once again.
As if nothing BAD happened to them.
“Hey Bonnie, did you find your guitar?” He asks his purplish-blue rabbit pal.
“It’s somewhere, man, they really need to stop moving our stuff about. It’s hard enough as is.” Bonnie responds back as he looks around behind the amps on the stage. His head turns about before looking over, jumping back as a reddish fox animatronic, scares the living daylights out of him.
“FOXY! Knock it off!!”
The fox pirate cackles happily, as he loved scaring his fellow mates.
“Arr! Don’t get yer bolts so tight there Bonnie!! It’s all in good fun!”
Freddy shakes his head before seeing a red bass guitar lurking behind a curtain. As he could remember, the last time they were awake was placed back there. He walks over to it and picks it up, brushing the layer of dust before eyeing Springtrap.
“Oh, Mr. Afton. What brings ya here?” Freddy asks.
“Just Springtrap Freddy… Don’t want Gabriel waking up.” Springtrap mentions.
Freddy sighs as he lowers the bass in his grasp.
“Sorry about that Mr-- Springtrap. They kids didn’t like all that noise going about, so well… They took care of it.”
Springtrap nods as he sees the lifeless bodies, sitting up in the chairs. Including the party hats on some of their heads. A grimace and shocked look appears on his face.
Followed by a groan.
“And so they did…”
He then looks around, as he sees Foxy and Bonnie teasing at each other. Good Jeremy and Fritz were occupied at being near one another, last time he’d met them, they were close friends. But he could tell, there was one missing from The Main Four.
“Hmmm… Where’s Susie? Chica?” Springtrap asks.
Freddy blinks and points over to the kitchen area. That the chicken with the craving and admiration for pizza, would be in her usual hangout spot.
“Oh, she is in there. Been there for a while though.” He answers back.
“Nervous breakdown. We hadn’t been open since the 90’s…” Springtrap reveals.
Foxy and Bonnie look over, hearing the news astonished and dreadful gaze.
Foxy’s jaw even drops, before Bonnie pushes back up.
“That… That can’t be right?” Freddy spoke bewildered, that they couldn’t be out of commission for that long. It boggled his mind, holding the side of his head to ease the confusion.
“It is. All of you, I need you to REALLY clean up this mess. No show if there’s a mess like this.” Springtrap orders.
“WE’RE ALL OUT OF PIZZAAAH!!” Chica pipes up as she exits out of the kitchen before looking over at the other three and Springtrap.
“Wrong timing?”
“Wrong timing…” Springtrap remarks before relaying to Chica the news of what to do.
Soon the Main Four were busy and preoccupied cleaning up the pizzeria’s party room, being given all mops and buckets of clean, sanitized water. Thanks to Paige’s help of course. She was introduced to them, thanks to the aid of Springtrap. They didn’t seem to mind her, and neither did the spirits either, since they didn’t see Paige as much of a threat.
She acted ‘less adulty’ than her previous cleaning crew.
Paige continues to mop one section, alongside Springtrap who was scrubbing down a nearby chair. Something in her mind came to her suddenly, bluntly speaking to Spring. That caught him off guard.
“So, the animatronics have a mind of their own, because of the kid spirits inside of them?” She asks back, as she was told by Spring that it wasn’t just the personalities that the animatronics had-- But living ghosts inside of them too.
“Mmhm.” Springtrap nodded as he kept detailing.
“How did they die?” Paige blurts out.
Springtrap locks up from Paige’s blunt question.
How could he tell her that he was responsible for the murders? That he went out on a full rampage of his own twisted nature, taking the lives of children? No… No he couldn’t mention it back to Paige, because-- Who knows how she’ll act??
She was too nice to know to be traumatized this soon.
Springtrap turns his head over to Freddy as he gestures to them to keep quiet. That none of what happened should be told to Paige.
Freddy nods in agreement, as he gestures back to the others.
Foxy, Bonnie, and Chica nod as well.
“Killed, too soon.” Springtrap answers back vaguely.
“Oh.” Paige solemnly spoke before looking at the other animatronics.
“Let the spirits rest. They did enough damage tonigh--” Springtrap freezes before his suit locks up. Coughing and sputtering blood onto the tile floor.
“Oh for fok sake! N-Not again!!”
“Spring!!” Paige gasps as she rushes over to him, helping him lay back.
The Main Four overhear and stay where they were, knowing this would reawaken the children.
“T-Turn me around…”
“W-What?!”
“Turn me around…” Springtrap repeats back to Paige.
Paige nods as she turns Springtrap onto his stomach.
“There should be a back panel… Flip the switch to r-restart the springlocks.”
“Wouldn’t that crush you ag-- Right, can’t feel pain.”
Paige corrects herself as she opens Springtrap’s back panel. She sees a switch that was labeled RESTART, and flips the switch. Hoping that this would do the trick, just as Springtrap told her.
Then, the suit tenses and makes Springtrap twitch. A guttural grunt was heard before completely collapsing.
“SPRING!? SPRINGTRAAAP!!”
[END OF CHAPTER THREE]
#pai writes#fan fiction#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#fnaf au#fnaf au clean up time#springtrap#william afton#henry emily#freddy fazbear#chica the chicken#bonnie the bunny#foxy the pirate#self insert#fan fic#fanfic#fan fic writing#tw: blood#blood#tw blood#tw: child death#child death#tw child death
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Rewatching Ninjago
(With no context other than the episode)
Possession 3-4
The fact that Kais afraid of water while his sister is the elemental master of water is hilarious to me
Stiix is actually such a fascinating place in itself
Ninjago is legitimately good at world building Ill give it that
Why are they talking to this ronin guy as if he's an old enemy I have never seen him before
Ronin (talking about money): two hundred
Cole: what if we told you all of ninjago depended on the scroll of spinjitzu
Ronin: Well that changes everything!
Ronin: Four hundred.
Hes so funny but wiki says he sold Zane to chen so im a bit on the edge. He’s gonna have to do something redeeming for me to like him
Nyas training!!!!
I kinda like Wus depiction of water
Omg i remember finding it so cool and majestic when Wu summoned his dragon
Nya: you never told us you could do that
Wu: A sensei never tells.
Me (looks back at all the episodes I just watched): Obviously.
Wonder if Nya ever wanted to be the water ninja
If Wu KNEW that the ghosts were defeated by water why didnt he tell the ninja.
Cole, Jay, and Kai working as Zanes their cheerleader is so funny to me
Jay: his voice is on the fritz, i can fix it but it’ll take some time.
I miss techy Jay
Why is everyone except Cole being leader. Wasnt Cole originally the leader-like person in the team?
Jay: I say we dont need the scroll… because we’re gonna steal it. 😈
Ik i said this in my last post but
Jay, have. You. Been. To. Jail.
Nickname 1: mush mouth (zane)
Ik Lloyds fighting Morros possession but i wonder HOW
is it like a mental battle or is he pulling at the chains that restrain him in his mind
Either way thats traumatic
Nyas character has such depth that I wanna write a paragraph on her.
Her weakness being ‘feeling weak’
I just love her character sm
Her angers not misplaced though, if I was told I had to stop doing what im good at, and start doing something that im having difficulty with from scratch. To save my friends nonetheless.
I would go insane
They go so in-depth with Nyas character and symbolism in this episode that I cant help but appreciate it
Jay, (looking intently at the vase where the scroll is hidden in): ….
Jay (picks up the vase and looks under it): leave no stone unturned.
Hes such an idiot
Its so funny that morro waited, assuming the ninja would find the scroll for him and then just jumped out and fought them bc he didnt bet on their incompetence 💀
Okay but WHY is ronin introduced as such a ‘familiar’ character. Like his ship for example. Why are we acting like weve seen it before whats going on.
Why did Jay fall through the same womans roof twice 😭
Omgggg the same thing that happened to Lloyd where ‘everyone stays behind due to some circumstances leaving one character to fight by himself’ is happening to Kai!
Ronins such a dick
He was gonna leave Kai to DIE unless he paid up thats so shitty
Oh riiiight. Ronin starts working at steep wisdom. Forgot about that.
...
Ik yangs temple and ik exactly what's gonna happen
Coles in charge :D
Why didn't they just enter Yangs temple in the daytime? I mean thatd be a long time until sunrise, so no one turns into a ghost!
Jay and Cole (trying to break open the wooden boards on the window)
Zane and Kai (opens the front door.)
Jay and Cole: 😮
Fhjebtjdbrjsbf
Cole: didnt you hear! We have to leave before sunrise unless we turn into ghosts! God i hate ghosts. They’re terrifying.
Why did it have to be Cole 😭 it couldnt have been any other ninja
Jay loving ghost stories/true crime and getting excited over it while Coles hates it is a dynamic i need in my life
okay yeah the ninja are being mean by pranking Cole like that, but theyre right his scream was really funny 💀
Gonna do that drawing trend and draw the ninja in the haunted house poses
You know what im talking about.
Why does yangs flying swords look exactly like Kais golden weapon
(Swords and knives flying in all directions)
Jay: does this mean he wont teach us airjitzu 😀
Cole: ow my ear!
What ear.
God i wish the best for teenagers who broke into the haunted temple at night and had to experience THAT
Ronin: I dont knooow, wus my partner, i cant go behind his back.
Nya: (whips out a bag of coins)
Ronin: I can get you out of here tomorrow at noon.
Zane: EVERYONE. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELVES. EVEN IF MY VOICE WASNT STUCK. ID STILL BE YELLING AT THIS VOICE DECIBEL.
HFNSJFNSJR
(The temple starts flooding)
Cole: Why. Did you touch the scary painting JAY.
Jay: I didnt know it would do that COLE.
KAI LET GO OF THE DOOR YOURE GONNA DROWN
Ohhh so theyre facing their fears
Ok but how did Morro know about Nyas samurai cave can he see into Lloyds memories?
You really didnt think this through huh Nya, including the fact that Wu quite literally told you only water can stop the ghosts
Morro: BOO
he did the, he did the thing!!!!!!
At least she understands now :)
(The ninja tying each other by a rope so they cant lose each other)
Ah yes, this is brilliant, i do not foresee any consequences coming from these action.
Damn.
They really went straight to ‘the Morro fear/illusion’
I wanted to see Zane and Jays fears :(((
I need a fanfic asap where the ninja face their individual fears in yangs temple but its their fears on a deeper level. And they help each other out and stuff.
I dont wanna do a whole character analysis rn, but if someone else wants to write it tag meeee plsss
Yangs probably cackling as these fools stumble over each other
Zane: WHY DID WE TYE OURSELVES TOGETHER
YOU TELL ME.
This is it.
COLE SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR THE SCROLL.
And it begins, his ghost arc.
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Fuck It Friday
Tagged by @clusterbuck ! Gonna do something a lil different and post a wip I started last night that I was really excited about for the entire like twenty minutes I was writing it and then got bored with instantly because I’m terrible like that 😂 but I don’t know, if what I post here sparks anyone’s interest maybe my interest will like. I don’t know, re-pique? Anyway, it’s ROUGH and also a Quantum Leap au lmfao because that whole thing Ben and Addison have going on is very buddie shaped
Buck wakes up and he immediately knows something is wrong.
He’s in the driver’s seat of an old, unfamiliar van. He looks down at himself and he’s in old fashioned clothes he doesn’t recognize, and there’s just something off that he can’t place.
Until he looks in the rearview mirror and the face staring back at him is a stranger’s.
He’s leapt out of the van before his brain even really registers the what the fuckery of what just happened. He stands on the sidewalk, gaping down at himself. Now that he’s seen his not reflection he can catalogue the things that had seemed off before. His hands are a little smaller, his center of gravity a little lower. He touches his hair, it’s a little longer than he remembers his being, the texture different as well.
“What the fuck,” he whispers. He looks around, spotting a movie theatre across the street, the marquee promoting showings for the Goonies and St. Elmo’s Fire. A record store next door has a poster for Live Aid, July 13th, 1985. “What the fuck,” he repeats, louder.
“Oh thank god, we found you,” a voice says behind him. He spins and comes face to face with the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen. Fluffy dark hair on top of big soft brown eyes, a tight green Henley doing little to cover up what Buck is sure is a mouth-watering physique.
“Do I know you?” He asks, and he regrets it for the way the man reacts like Buck had slapped him.
“I—” the man says, clearly thrown off. “We—we knew memory loss could be a side effect of a leap, but I still didn’t really expect…You really don’t know me?”
He studies the man. He somehow doesn’t feel like a stranger, but that’s about all Buck’s got. Well…He’s looking up, just slightly at him, and he has the same feeling of wrongness about that as he had when he’d looked down at himself. He’d wager he’s normally the taller of the two.
“Crazy question, but, since you obviously know me, do I uh. Look different?”
“Not to me. As your guide, you just look like you.”
“My guide? And what did you mean about a leap?”
“Uh, ok. We can handle this. It’s a lot to explain, but that’s ok. I—” the man is interrupted when a loud alarm sounds. They both whip towards the source, just as a group bursts out the front of the bank the van he’d woken up in was parked in front of.
They all have ski masks and loaded duffel bags, and they’re running straight towards Buck and the van.
“Nick, what the fuck? Get in the damn van,” one of them shouts, pausing and gesturing wildly at him.
“Nick?” He questions.
“Fuck ok, no time for explanations,” the gorgeous man says. “Uh, so, trust me here. They think you’re Nick, their getaway driver. So, you better drive.” And then, the most surprising thing of all happens, which is that one of the people running from the bank they’ve apparently robbed runs straight through the guy. He fritzes out for a second before looking perfectly solid and normal. “Oh yeah,” he adds. “I’m not really here. Just a hologram only you can see.”
“Nick!” One of the robbers shouts again, and Buck finally unglues his feet from the pavement and races back to the van. He jumps in, starts it, and peals out onto the street. And then promptly realizes he has no clue where he’s going.
Tagging @megslovesbooks @fiona-fififi @gayhoediaz @pettyeddiediaz @sibylsleaves @elvensorceress whassup
#quantum leap au#GUESS ILL DO A TAG FOR IT IDK#What you see here is literally all I’ve got for it lmao
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coming into your inbox causing problems okay but whAT ABOUT THE FIRST TIME PIKE GIVES YOU THE LEATHER JACKET it's on an away mission, right and you weren't supposed to be down long, you weren't supposed to go down at all but the lieutenant who was doing a survey of alien ruins needed some additional equipment and you beam down to hand it off and then the transporter goes on the fritz right, Shenanigans of some kind are going on onboard Enterprise because Of Course They Are, so you're stuck on the planet without your away mission Team Enterprise Leather Jacket™ and I can't decide if the planet's a little chilly, like it's later in its solar year and winter's coming up and Pike notices you're chilly so he's like "here, take my jacket" and you're like "no captain, I couldn't possible" "no I insist" and well now you're wearing his Jacket and you're warm and it smells like him oh god OR
OR the transporter shenanigans have taken longer to resolve than they were supposed to, so you're looking at spending a few hours of the night planet side and well Captain Optimist is like "hey let's do a campfire and tell stories" which somehow leads to you being positioned next to Captain Dimples at the fire, Spock and Una across from you with the communications lieutenant and Christopher "I have no ulterior motive whatsoever, I of the weaponized Dimples" Pike just sort of Casually notices "oh hey you're really chilled huh, you should wear my jacket" and giVES YOU THE JACKET, helps straighten out the collar there is brief Intense Eye Contact before Una coughs and then you two sort of just jolt apart and Una's smirking, Spock's eyebrows have disappeared into his hairline and the lieutenant is studiously Not Looking
Internally, both scenarios you just kind of Error 404
Captain Optimist (Disparagingly)
Micky I love all of this so much so MUCH
I know you said the first time but my brain also jumped to the previous ask as like a precursor
Like maybe you were on the same ship for your dissertation and then you went to your separate assignments
and there have been messages and the occasional space-equivalent of a FaceTime on the viewscreen
But now you're a commander and a specialist and he's a Captain
You've only been brought to the Enterprise for some incredibly specific mission
And you've told yourself before boarding that you're gonna be totally professional, just in and out
And then it's cold and/or the transporter futzes up and the last time you were in his jacket, you made out on the front steps of your apartment building like teenagers
And now he's straightening the collar again, just so
...i'm gonna go scream into my hands, excuse me.
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Chapter 41: The Horror Attraction [Epilogue]
Word Count: 859
TWs: Death mentions, gore mentions, unsanitary mentions
⛤⛤⛤
Getting hired at Fazbear’s Frights was just as easy as getting hired at Freddy’s had been, perhaps even easier. Michael was very glad the interview didn’t have to be in person. It had been a wild few years since he essentially died two deaths and kept living… he felt like a cockroach. Luckily, this was only a minor speed bump. He knew where his father now resided, and he knew he lived on, if only because other employees had claimed the haunted attraction was actually haunted.
He was also glad that the tradition of only having one nighttime security guard lived on, even at a partial museum housing valuables collectors would love to get their hands on. Frankly, the whole idea behind Fazbear’s Frights made him sick. How quickly some people had moved on from grief, disconnected from the horrific realities, and turned a profit from it.
On top of that, the place was cheap, practically as rotten as Freddy’s had been when it had been abandoned. Michael could’ve designed a better horror attraction with a blindfold on, his hands tied behind his back, and his only tools being a hammer and a bag of dry macaroni. Why people would waste their money on this experience, he’d never understand. It wasn’t long after he had settled into the office chair, covered in an awful, scratchy brown fabric, that he was reminded that he wasn’t alone. The lights buzzed and pulsed while faint whispers floated in Michael’s ears. He jumped when a familiar figure appeared on the desk.
“Michael???” Charlie tilted her head. She looked tired.
“Well, there’s no fooling you, is there?” He quipped, still tensed despite the welcome face.
“What are you doing here???” She slipped off the desk and stood. “I thought you died!”
“Funny story--”
“And why are you purple?? Is that a wig??”
“Slow down, Charlie!” He laughed dryly and began to explain what had happened to him, and where he had been since then. “I shouldn’t have abandoned you… it was stupid of me to go to Circus Baby’s that night…”
“Hey, it was your sister, it was only understandable… you couldn’t have known Norman was going to drop off SpringBonnie, either. I just wish you had told me your plans…”
“Because you’re still here. Yeah, I fucked up on that one…”
“And so is he, as well as the others. Got any new ideas?”
Michael nodded. “Why else would I be here?” He leaned forward, lowering his voice. “I’m going to burn it all to the ground. My theory is, if I destroy what physically tethers you here, you’ll finally be able to move on.”
“Won’t you get charged for arson?”
“Hey, that’s only if I get caught. Besides, I’ve been legally dead for… four years, I think? They’d never suspect a corpse.”
Charlie grinned. “So, what name did you use this time?”
“Fritz Smith.”
She laughed. “What kind of name is that??”
“I don’t know, I saw it on the internet somewhere.”
“The internet??”
“Oh my God. That’s right, you’ve… completely missed out on where technology’s gone since the eighties… you would’ve been a bit too young… there’s not really enough time to explain, but I guess it’s like… electronic books? Anything you’ve ever wanted to know, in a newer, faster package. I use it sparingly, seems like too much power for one person in my opinion.”
“Huh.”
They both froze. Something was shuffling heavily towards them.
“Him!” Charlie hissed. “Quick, play a sound to distract him!” She pointed at the office’s soundboard, meant to be used to control all sounds and ambience in the attraction during the day.
“He’s not that stupid, is he??” Michael asked, briefly impressed.
“It’s not that, the suit reacts to noise and he can’t do anything about it. The guard before you figured that out at the last second… I’m not sure what excuse the owners gave as to why ‘Springtrap’ migrates toward the office at night, but it must be something that keeps employees from freaking out and quitting immediately.”
“Springtrap?”
“The new trademark. I suppose SpringBonnie isn’t that scary, now, is it?”
“I don’t know, I think its backstory makes it plenty unsettling.” He could see its shadow on the wall through the two-way mirror between the office and the hall. “I think I want to see what’s become of his sorry arse.”
“I promise you, you don’t…” She looked him up and down. “But I suppose you yourself are also a corpse. Good luck.” With that, she disappeared through the neighbouring wall, leaving Michael to face the demon that was his father. Springtrap lurched into view. The suit had fallen into complete disrepair, its foam and fur torn, the colours muted with age. Even its once charming bowtie was now nowhere to be found, discarded after years of mistreatment. Michael covered his mouth. He could see William’s punctured and misshapen innards through the holes in the suit, formed tightly with the metal structure within. He was thankful he had lost the ability to smell at this point, between himself and his father he was sure this place stunk like the depths of Hell.
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Whumptober 2022 Day 26
No One Left Behind
Kiran landed a few leagues from the shed. "Yeah, that's them. Looks like Fritz beat them up pretty bad," she stood next to Nick and Insanity. She walked quietly up to the lodge. She placed her hand on the door and glanced back at the two. Their figures were just out of sight and watching her back. Kiran turned around and slammed her shoulder into the wooden door. It flung open, the light poured in. Pittoo turned, her eyes locked on Kiran. "Hey there Pittoo, let's get you guys out of here." She walked forward towards the girl when she stopped. Her ears twitched as the steps grew closer and louder. Kiran gasped as she felt something in her shoulder. She grimaced as it tore through her chest and down to her stomach.
"You're new," he ripped his sword out of her stomach. "New prey it seems."
"Ngh," light poured out from her body like blood. A small beam leaked from her mouth as her form flickered a bit before settling down. "You're... Fritz... heh, heard a lot about you from my friends."
"Friends? Oh, I see. You're friends with them. I see. Well, it will be a pleasure to have your head with them."
"I'm not a god, but I am immortal. I'm an archangel, and I'm here to rescue them." Kiran's six wings emerged and her halo glowed as it appeared behind her head.
"Ah, I've dealt with your kind before. I'll gladly do it again," he lunged forward and stabbed her in the throat. Kiran stood firm. Light growing in her hands as her hair started to float.
"Best reconsider who you're dealing with." The ball of light burst in her hand as the projectiles raced towards Fritz. He dodged it with ease, grabbing her arm and breaking it, then putting cuffs on her.
"Keep still you dumb archangel." Insanity leaned into the shed, his pupils red and eyes darkened as he jumped in quickly, Fritz almost having no time to react and getting stabbed in the thigh. "Tch, another one. And it doesn't look like he's going to calm down..." he thought to himself and honed his focus. Kiran kicked him and her tail whipped him across the face. "Tch. Not even giving me time to thin-" Insanity rammed into the side of him. "Ngh... You son of a bitch." He grabbed him by his hair and tossed him across the room. Pittoo screamed under her gag. Kiran kneed him in the stomach, sending him backwards. Her eyes glaring daggers at Fritz. "You don't want to get me pissed off you bitch," he used white eyes and grabbed her neck, sending her into a window, getting stuck in large shards of glass, unable to move. Insanity didn't give him time and immediately tackled him, then started slamming his fists into his jaw. Kiran picked the lock on the cuffs easily and threw them out the window, she stood back and waited for an opening. Fritz used white eyes again, Insanity slamming his fists into the ground and breaking the floor. "I'm not about to just let you ruin all the work I've had to do... you scumbags...."
"I'm not leaving anyone behind!" She threw a javelin of light as it landed near the door. It grazed Fritz's ankle.
"Tch. And I'm part of that equation it seems... but unfortunately for you. White eyes don't care," he used it and left, running and grabbing Nick. "You'll do just fine." He continued and was out of range for anyone to see. Kiran growled as she fell to her knees. She slammed her fist on the ground.
"This isn't over."
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the landlord - myg | m
↳ summary- your air conditioner breaks right at the height of a recordbreaking heat wave. good thing your hot landlord, yoongi, knows how to attend to any needs you may have.
↳ rating- explicit / 18+
↳ word count- 4.3k
↳ pairing- yoongi x reader
↳ genre- smut, light crack, PWP
↳ warnings- basically the plot of a porn, theres no plot, the plot doesn’t make sense, seduction, oral sex (m/f receiving), penetrative sex, dirty talk, fun laughing giggly time during sex, honestly yoongi is great and i love him, maybe exhibitionism if u squint ???, cum sharing, finger sucking, motorboating
↳ a/n- did i just write basically the plotline of a bad porno? yes. did i love it? also yes. this was lowkey inspired by my own landlord coming over to my place (that i DIDNT SLEEP WITH) and i answered the door in a state of undress :/ i hate myself lol. anywwayyss! enjoy yoongi the landlord! pls feel free to interact with me because i need constant attention uwu
The inside of your apartment feels hotter than the blazing sun outside. Your air conditioner chose the worst week to fritz on you. A record-breaking heat wave.
Nothing helps. You open windows, blow fans, sit in front of your fridge, take cold showers. All just momentary bliss that ends too soon.
It finally breaks you and you muster up the courage to text your landlord, Yoongi.
You inhale a deep breath as you click on the name. Min Yoongi, landlord. Your eyes flutter shut for a moment without realizing.
Your landlord who lives in the same building as you is likely the hottest and most attractive man you’ve ever met. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a crush on the man. Every month, paying rent was torture. You wanted to fling your legs open to him and request he takes his payment another way.
But you never did. He always remained cool and expressionless and it was hard to get a read on the man, let alone see if he’s interested.
Your fingers slide across the keys, nibbling at your lip as you decide what to say.
[to: yoongi] hi! sorry to bother you but my ac appears to have died and im afraid ill be next at the rate of his heat wave 😩 no rush but id appreciate help!
Perfect. Simple, slightly cutesy. Emoji to express how chill you are.
Your phone vibrates almost instantly and a smile curves on your face.
[to: me] oh no, we can’t have that. haunted apartments are hard to rent out 😉 im out until late tonight but i can stop by first thing in the morning if that’s cool?
A flirty line? Is this… working?
[to: yoongi] tomorrow is great! and don’t worry, if i die i won’t haunt this apartment, i’ll haunt yours 😌
[to: me] see you tomorrow, poltergeist 👻
You’re leaping through the air at the idea of the hot landlord semi-flirting with you over text when you notice your apartment. It’s disgusting. Your face burns red and you instantly work on the space before Yoongi comes over. He can't see you like this.
Sleep is out of the question. After your ravage cleaning and polishing and organizing, you’ve worked up more than a sweat. A cold shower helps for a moment but you end up lying in bed feeling slightly wet and very, very hot. The humidity is draining.
You change into an outfit of a crop top and g-string panties. You aim the 3 fans in your room to point around your bed for direct wind contact. It helps, somewhat.
Sleep finally comes as dawn breaks. It’s cooled off enough that the ambient air around you is finally tolerable. Exhaustion overwhelms you, and you pass out, hard. Finally.
You’re broken from your exquisite dream of being nailed by your landlord when a loud knock wakes you up. It’s disorienting. You’re so tired you’re not even sure where you are at the moment, let alone who is at the door. The knock sounds again and you scurry to turn off the loud fans and book it to the door.
The door swings open and reveals your landlord, Yoongi.
“Oh, hi!” You’re excited to see him, for reasons beyond fixing your air conditioning.
Yoongi steps in and looks like he’s about to speak but opens his mouth and remains silent. His cheeks tingle a light shade of pink and he’s staring at your body. Did you drool all over yourself all night or something? What was he staring—
Oh god.
You glance down at your body. The crop top you hastily changed into in the middle of the night hits you a little lower than where your breasts end. The G string is non-existent. It covers almost nothing, which is why you opted for it last night in your desire to get cooled off.
You take a step back from the sexy landlord still gaping at you and shyly cross your arms over your chest.
“I’m sorry, I—it was hot,” you mutter. “I’ll go change.”
Yoongi licks his lips, then snaps his eyes up to you and finds his voice. “It’s fine. It’s your home,” he swallows. “It’s hot in here, so stay comfortable. Don’t want to overheat you.”
His eyes stare down yours intensely. It feels like your veins sizzle, and it’s not related to the scorching temperature of your studio apartment.
He breaks the contact first and heads towards the panel in the wall where the inner workings of the air conditioner hide.
You wait in your kitchen, enjoying the natural shadow and shade from no windows and a spot to hide from Yoongi.
What if he thought badly about you? What if he doesn’t find you attractive and thinks of this as a ploy to get him to lower your rent or something? How could you recover from this? Would it ever go back to being the same?
You’re anxiously tapping your fingers on the kitchen countertop, listening intently as the landlord fiddles with pipes and belts and mutters under his breath every so often. Eventually, you hear a soft ‘aha’ and your air con kicks right on. You think it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. Instantly you feel the machine push out air. It’s lukewarm now from disuse, but soon it will be frigid cold. You stand in front of the breeze and bask, arms open to let the wind blow through you.
Yoongi clears his throat, and it startles you, making you realize you’re standing in your house nearly naked, ass cheeks out on display, under-boob surely peeking out to say hi. Your face burns and it makes him chuckle as you jump and attempt to cover yourself somehow.
“How long was I standing there?” You ask quietly.
Yoongi can’t wipe the amused smirk on his face. “A few minutes,” he shrugs. “Glad it’s working now for you.”
The air rapidly cools as the machine continuously pumps out colder and colder air.
“Thank god. I owe you,” you sigh.
“Nah, that’s what rent pays for,” he smiles.
He makes his move to leave you alone, and you recognize this is it. This is your chance. You can ask him to fuck the shit out of you now. If he declines, well, the first of the month would start being more awkward. But if he accepts… it’s too blissful to imagine.
You grab at his arm as he walks past you. He stops in his tracks, and his eyes travel to where your hands meet his skin.
“I’m serious,” you attempt to sound as confident as you can. “I owe you.”
He arches a brow at you and turns completely to face you. Your hands hover at the hem of your tiny shirt, lifting a sliver to give him a glance of the bottom of a rounded globe.
“Let me repay you somehow?” you ask.
A smirk lifts at one side of his lips. “You think that will cover the cost?”
Your cheeks heat and you pull the shirt up higher, determined to get him in your bed or die trying.
“I’m hoping.”
Yoongi’s eyes zero in on your tits. Rounded and full, nipples prickling in the fresh and rapidly cooling air. He contemplates for a moment as he lets his eyes get their nice, long drink of you.
“Yeah, now that I think of it, that should be exact change.” He drops his bag of tools and approaches you quickly, hands cupping your head as he kisses you intensely.
He kisses you with all the fire of the heatwave outside, melting you from the inside out. You’re sure to be sweaty and clammy after you’re finished with him. He swipes his tongue over your lips, and there’s no hesitation to let him in. Your hands grip at his sides, pulling his shirt up as much as you can while trying to focus on making out with the hottest guy you’ve ever met.
He chuckles against your lips at your weak attempt to disrobe him and he reluctantly pulls a step away from you to take the shirt off. He stands there and allows you a quick look before he’s back on to you. His skin presses against your chilled nipples and the fire and ice sensation makes you shiver.
Yoongi kisses you passionately, you notice. Like a lover. It’s laced with deeper intention and you hope you’re not overthinking it. You will your brain to just shut up and enjoy. Emotions can come later.
Now, you’re the one to remove your lips from his and he pouts slightly at the loss. You smile and slide down to your knees, hands undoing the button of his tight jeans and tugging them down.
“Shit, babe, I think you may be overpaying me,” he admits. “Wasn’t that hard to fix.”
As a finger pulls down the front of his boxers to let his cock spring free, you flick a smirk up to his face.
“Then consider this my repayment for being late on rent all those months,” you state before shifting your gaze back to his hardened cock. It’s gathered pre-cum at the head and you wonder if he’s been hard and wanting since he got here and first saw you. The thought is intoxicating and spurs you on.
Your tongue licks up the slick at the tip that threatens to drip off, before it swirls around the bulbous head. Yoongi isn’t afraid to be loud, it seems. You supposed you wouldn’t be afraid if you owned the building too. Who will complain? And to who?
“Hoooooly fuck,” he gasps. “Sh—shit I might let you pay rent like this for the rest of your lease.”
You pop your mouth off and lick your lips, allowing your hand to grip his shaft and begin stroking him.
“I don’t want to pay rent this way. How about we consider it a perk?” You smile, pressing forward to kiss his tip teasingly.
“God, a girl who doesn’t want to fuck me just to take advantage of me? And she’s hot as fuck and wants to blow me for fun?” he quirks his head. “Shit, be careful or I’ll end up falling in love.”
It makes your head spin a little and you suckle at the tip a little longer, making him keen, before you pull away again.
“Maybe that was the plan all along,” you simper, then take him in fully, letting his tip glide down your mouth to the back of your throat. He groans loudly, and it’s the most satisfying sound. It makes you want to do this more. Every day if you could.
You get to work, sucking him in, allowing him passage to your throat, vacuuming your cheeks to add additional pressure, gliding your hands up and down the slick shaft to assist you in touching every single bit. Yoongi is thriving. He can’t believe his luck. The hottest girl in the complex, the girl he’s secretly pined over, is sucking his cock as if her life depends on it.
You’re salivating at the act now, saliva spilling out your mouth as you continue to envelop his cock quickly. You slip it out of your mouth to lean down and lick and suck at his balls, which makes him hum in absolute pleasure. You don’t remain long—his cock is nearly pulsating with desire. Your mouth returns to its rightful place and as you’re licking and sucking and pumping and stroking him, you maintain even and sensual eye contact with him.
You want him to know this isn’t a chore, a means to an end. You want him to know you’ve dreamt of him fucking your throat raw every night since you moved in.
Yoongi got the picture pretty quickly. His mouth drops open as he openly gapes at your work, giving him probably the best and hottest blowjob of his life.
Your tongue swirls at the ridge of his head and Yoongi feels it snap—the tightness that holds everything back. He fucks desperately into your throat, relishing in the feel of your gagging and moaning. It didn’t take long until he was seeing it through to the end, pumping hot white ropes down your throat while he moaned out your name with a string of expletives.
The immoral pop noise your mouth made as you pull off his cock makes the blue-haired landlord standing above you moan.
“Fucking hell—where the fuck have you been all my life?” he sighs as he cups his hand under your chin. He beckons you back up, desperate to kiss you. You oblige and return to standing, pressing against his body to pull him in to a dirty kiss.
“Upstairs, apparently,” you murmur.
He swipes his tongue on yours, tastes himself there, and decides he wants to taste himself on you all the time. His hands slide down to your ass, the g string still curving down the line. He snaps at the straps as you kiss, making you puff a laugh against his lips before pulling away.
“I’d be willing to fix your leaky faucet in the bathroom if you let me eat you out,” he offers.
You’re tugging him towards your bed, knocking over multiple fans in the process, and flopping onto the mattress, landing on your back.
“Throw in fixing the squeaky wheel on my closet, and you’ve got yourself a deal,” you joke, spreading your legs to give him the tiniest clue of what lays between.
He sighs dramatically with a smile, “Needy tenant,” before he slips down to hover over you. He intends to kiss and lick every part of your body, starting with the tits that hypnotized him.
“Can’t believe you opened the door like that,” he chuckled as he plucked a nipple between his fingers and lightly rolled it. “I thought I was dreaming.”
The feeling is instant, electricity sparking at the tips of your nipples and warming its way around your body, directly to your cunt. You’re absolutely certain that by the time Min Yoongi reaches his mouth to your core, he’ll drown in it.
He moves forward and wraps his lips around the bud, allowing his hands to travel to the neglected one and to squeeze and pinch and prod. He’s rewarded with your beautiful sighs and gasps—it’s sweeter than any song he’s ever heard.
He presses your tits together and rubs his face in the cleavage there, making you gasp and laugh at the same time. He gazes up at you and flashes his gummy smile.
“I’ve really wanted to do that,” he admits, which makes you giggle again.
“Be my guest,” you approve. He takes your reply and does it again for just a moment, before he’s kissing and sucking at the flesh of your breasts. He wants to mark you, leave a piece of him for you to remember every time you see yourself. You moan in appreciation and rub your thighs together, desperate at the ache that grows with every nip and nibble of Yoongi’s lips and teeth.
He seems to understand and trails down, kissing and sucking at your long torso, abdomen, hips. He leaves little bruises everywhere and you want them to last forever. You want him to mark you and claim you as his own.
His fingers slip around the thin straps of your underwear, and he tugs them right off. He’s unable to stop the loud moan when he notices the slick that strings between them and your folds. You’re drenched, and he marveled at how excited you were about him.
“Fuck, babe—” he sighs as he lowers his chest down to lie in front of your spread thighs. Your center is weeping, slicked with your arousal and he can tell you’re desperate for friction, for anything. “Look at this perfect fucking pussy.”
You whimper as you can feel his breath so close to where you need him.
“Yoongi, please,” you whine. “I’m so fucking horny.”
“I can tell,” he hums. “Keep moaning my name like that and I’ll make sure you’re always horny and ready for me.”
He lowers his lips, hovering millimeters from your slit. He holds it there as he watches your anguished face nearly burst at how close and yet how far he is, before he obliges you and presses into you.
You gasp at the first swipe of his tongue on your clit. He maintains a soft up and down motion on the nub and you’re already seeing stars. He steadily increases the pressure and the speed, then spices it up by swirling his tongue around in different shapes, spelling out his name on your cunt with his tongue to remind you just who got you this fucking soaked.
Your legs falter and quiver as he slips his tongue deeper inside you, licking into your hole and nearly drinking you up. He pulls back and devotes his attention to your clit and your moans turn from soft gasps and pleas to loud whines as he slips his fingers into your cunt and slowly fucks you, spreading you out. He’s not small by any means, he feels he can get you ready to go.
“I want you to cum for me on my tongue,” he states, matter-of-factly. “I want to feel you on my fingers.”
You nod, plucking at your own nipples with one hand as the other seeks purchase in his hair.
“Can you do that for me, babe? Can you cum for me and get my hand nice and drenched? I want to lick it off my fingers.”
His fingers get frantic and he splits his time between suckling and laving at your clit and encouraging you with illicit requests and praises.
Yoongi continues, never letting up or even giving an inkling of a hint he’s tiring. His hand works like a machine and he slips yet another finger inside your heat, making you arch off the bed. He licks at your clit with just the right pressure, and he picks up the speed and it sends you tumbling towards your orgasm. You feel the breath leave your lungs as it hits you, core and channel muscles squeezing him tight and legs shaking around his body. Your moans echo off the small apartment walls, only drowned out by the sound of the fresh air-con still running.
“Oh, my god Yoongi—” you pant. “I’ve never cum so hard from oral in my life.”
He pulls his fingers from inside you as you come back down from your high and chuckles at your words. True to his promise, he lets the slick glisten on his finger and marvels at it, before he’s popping the fingers into his mouth and sucking them clean.
“You taste so fucking good,” he compliments, and it makes your chest tighten and tips of your ears turn red. “Fuck, I could eat you every fucking day.”
You smirk, still sensitive but feeling the desperate ache inside you needy for him and his thick cock. Your legs spread open as he lays between them and you’re wiggling your hips to get his attention.
“I’m sure we could arrange something in my lease for that,” you tease. “I could suck your cock hourly, honestly.”
He groans as he sits up between your legs, cock resting heavily on top of your mound. It’s so close, so close to where you need it to be. You appreciate the thick member as it rests and as Yoongi catches his breath. It’s thick and long, on top of your mound the tip reaches to the tiny swell of your stomach. You know you will not be able to walk tomorrow, that’s for sure.
“You’re telling me I could have been going down on you and been getting my dick sucked by the hottest girl on the planet this whole time and all I’ve done is give you shit about rent?”
You stifle a laugh and spread your legs open wider. “Looks like it. We better make up for all that lost time, don’t you think?”
His cock is rigid, almost stone, and he agrees heartily.
“Fuck yeah, we should. I’ve been dreaming about being inside you.”
He sounds so dirty, looks so sinful—it’s all so much and you’re almost begging for him to take you.
He reaches down to the pants on the floor that dropped and shimmies a condom out of his wallet. You send him a look that he silences with a roll of his eyes.
“Every dude has one, chill,” he mumbles. “I haven’t gotten laid in like a year and a half.” He pales as he realizes what he just said. “Not that it matters. Or that I care. Or that you care—christ can we fuck now please?” He asks as he rolls the rubber onto his stiff cock.
You’re laughing a bit, not at him but with him, and you lean up on your elbows to kiss his lips. “If it makes it better, I haven’t gotten laid in 3 years so I’m the loser by comparison,” you assure.
He wants to ask you how the fuck you haven’t gotten laid in that long because you’re the hottest god damn person he thinks he’s ever seen, but he realizes he doesn’t care and that it works out in his favor because Yoongi doesn’t like competition.
“Looks like the landlord needs to fix yet another problem of yours,” he winks as he lines himself up. You lean back onto the pillows and sigh as you feel the touch of his head right at the opening of your slit.
In one slow motion, he slides himself to the hilt. It’s tight, so fucking tight even after one orgasm, and Yoongi nearly hollers at the feel. He’s sure his eyes are rolling back in his head. It’s warm and tight and wet and even through a condom he’s in absolute bliss. He’s hoping one day he can try it without—fuck you raw and stuff you full of his cum.
He’s still inside you, and after a moment to breathe and adjust to the thick girth of him, you’re whining. “Yoongi, fuck me, I need you so fucking bad.”
A feral groan leaves his lips, and he’s off, beginning a pace that has him hoarse from moaning in no time. He’s never felt so good inside a cunt before, never understood how some men could do crazy shit for ‘magic pussy’, but now he gets it—he realizes he’d probably do some dumb things for a chance to be inside you again.
“Oh, yeah—” you whine. “S-shit, you’re so fucking big, Yoongi. Fuck me nice and deep.”
“Mmm, yeah? You want me to bruise your cervix? Want me to make this cunt remember my fucking cock?” He thrusts harder, pushing into you with diligent speed and intensity. “Gonna make sure you can never cum from another cock again, only mine.”
You’re losing your breath with how hard he’s fucking into you, both your moans and pants coming out in quick little bursts between his thrusts.
“Y-y-yes! Yo-o-ongi! Right there!” He hits a spot that feels so good, and you feel the pull towards orgasm tighten.
“God—you feel so. fucking. good.” he emphasizes with a thrust. “Need to feed your tiny pussy my dick every day, hm? Needy little cunt needs my thick cock.”
Tears form in your eyes. The depths he reaches inside you nearly scrambles your brains—you forget everything that isn’t Yoongi and his perfect thickness spearing inside you.
“Yoongi! Gonna c-cum!”
He goes harder, becomes rabid for your second orgasm and wants to feel the way you squeezed his fingers on his cock, knowing the channel will feel even impossibly tighter.
“That’s right, good girl,” he praises while he maintains a punishing pace. “Let me see you cum on this cock, baby, wanna see that pretty little pussy all creamy for me.”
His thumb rubs at your clit, moving it in circular motions, and diverts his eyesight between watching your full tits bounce and your lips open and close in pure bliss. You’re the definition of fucked out and Yoongi feels a surge of testosterone at the sight—knowing he was responsible.
“O-oh! Th-there!” You’re frantic and he can tell you’re right on the edge. He goes even faster, deeper and harder, and it’s the final straw. You’re catapulted off the edge and thrown headfirst into your orgasm. As he suspected, your perfect cunt pulsates around him like a fist and he’s groaning and stuttering as it triggers his own release.
It takes a few moments for both of you to come down, before he pulls his softening cock from within you and disposes of the condom. You’re breathing hard, and he’s smiling at the sheen of sweat on your body.
“Good thing I got that AC fixed today, hm?” He asks as he leans over to kiss at your lips.
You grin and pull him down to lay next to you, snuggling into his body. He holds onto you and kisses your head. He feels a level of contentment he’s never felt before.
You break the silence. “Now, as the landlord’s girlfriend, do I get any special perks? Like you’ll throw the utilities into my rent? Free cable?”
He chuckles against your forehead. “Not a fucking chance, babe.”
© ppersonna - 2020 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.
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title here. another thanks to @umbrarkzoo for motivation seriously go check out their art.
Monty: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.
Glamrock Chica: Actually, Roxy is my favorite.
Monty: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.
-
Balloon Boy: Fight me!
Foxy, standing behind him and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.
-
Freddy: If I die, my funeral will be the biggest party ever and you're all invited.
The Puppet: "If"
Golden Freddy: Great, the only party I'm ever invited to and he might not even die.
-
*after killing Phone Guy and then realizing he’s not the killer*
Chica: This is getting embarrassing.
Bonnie: Getting? We’re already there!
-
Funtime Freddy: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Eggs Benedict has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for him.
Bon-Bon: By forcing him to have fun at a party that he doesn’t want to be at?
Funtime Freddy: I knew you’d understand.
-
Michael Afton: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?
Ennard: Your life?
Michael Afton: I- well yes, but-
-
William Afton: Life could be worse, Mike.
Michael Afton: Life could be a lot better too!
-
*at a zoo*
Ennard: What are they in for?
Michael Afton: Ennard, this isn't prison.
Ennard: So they can leave?
Michael Afton: No, but-
Ennard, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.
-
*the TV is freaking out*
Michael Afton: Don’t worry, you have to treat an electronic like you treat a patient on life support.
*unplugs the TV, then plugs it back in again. nothing changes*
Michael Afton: Yeah, that didn’t work with my brother either.
-
HandUnit: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!
-
Henry Emily: Where are you going?
William Afton: Hell, eventually.
(moments before he killed Charlie)
-
Toy Chica I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.
-
Bonnie: It’s funny how well you and the Puppet get along. Didn’t she hate you at first?
Freddy: The Puppet hates everybody at first. It’s her way of reaching out to people.
-
The Puppet: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.
Toy Freddy, Toy Bonnie, Toy Chica, and Mangle: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!
-
Michael Afton: My dad has a spiked collar.
Michael Afton: *dog
-
Crying Child: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.
Nightmare Freddy under the bed: Honestly, fuck you.
-
Funtime Freddy: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU!
Bon-Bon: Okay, can you do the dishes?
Funtime Freddy: No!
-
Golden Freddy: Is this a good idea?
Golden Freddy: Probably not.
Golden Freddy: Do I care?
Golden Freddy: No.
(UCN be like)
-
Monty: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Roxy.
Roxy: I hate myself.
Monty: Alright, square up.
-
Jeremy Fitzgerald: But what about Fritz?
Phone Guy: Don't worry about him.
Phone Guy: I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened.
-
Sun: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…
Gregory: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
Sun: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…
Vanessa: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.
-
Freddy: Thank you for not saying "I told you so."
The Puppet: When you’re as right as I am, you don’t have to say it.
-
Monty: Gregory’s first detention, I'm so proud.
Glamrock Chica: Whoa, back up. Why did he get detention?
Roxy: Because he’s an idiot.
Glamrock Freddy, terrified: They can do that??
-
The Puppet: Bonnie, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery.
Toy Bonnie: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!
-
Fritz Smith: That's greatly offensive to my people.
Jeremy Fitzgerald: College dropouts?
-
Toy Chica: Did you hear that!? Jeremy just threatened to destroy my lego AT-AT!
Toy Freddy: ...You just threatened to kill him in his sleep.
-
Henry Emily: What the fuck is wrong with you??
William Afton: What? No good morning?
Henry Emily: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??
-
Pizza Bot: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka.
Pizza Bot: *upends the bottle*
-
Phone Dude: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.
-
Funtime Freddy, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.
Funtime Foxy: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...
Ballora, visibly confused: Okay, so he decided to put the cutting board in the oven?
Funtime Freddy, spraying Funtime Foxy: You FUCKING DUMBASS!
Funtime Foxy: Dude, I forgot-
Funtime Freddy: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?
Michael Afton: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*
-
Gregory, trying his first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY!
Phone Guy, an avid coffee drinker, on his twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.
-
Gregory: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-
Glamrock Chica: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~
Gregory: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-
Glamrock Freddy, recording: This is so cute.
-
William Afton: What is your favorite mythical story?
Henry Emily: The Story Of My Will To Live.
William Afton: I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.
-
*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword*
Freddy: Rude.
Bonnie: That's fair.
Chica: Not again.
Foxy: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?
-
Henry Emily: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?
William Afton: Fake?
-
Toy Chica: My assistance will be an act of beneviolence.
The Puppet: ...Don’t you mean benevolence?
Toy Chica: No.
-
Jeremy Fitzgerald: Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible?
Michael Afton: I gotta give you credit, Fritz. You make it look easy.
Fritz Smith: Years of practice.
-
Michael Afton: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli.
Crying Child, eyes wide: I know what I saw.
-
Toy Freddy: Okay happy campers! If you were a fruit what would you be and why?
The Puppet: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group.
Toy Freddy: ...
The Puppet: ...
Toy Freddy: OKAY HAPPY CAMPERS-
-
Vanessa: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.
-
Freddy: Just be yourself. Say something nice.
Golden Freddy: Which one? I can't do both.
-
Jeremy Fitzgerald: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?
Fritz Smith: It’s not water.
Jeremy Fitzgerald: Vodka! I like your sty-
Fritz Smith: It’s vinegar.
Jeremy Fitzgerald: …What?
Fritz Smith: It's vinegar, PUSSY.
-
Freddy: What are you eating?
Golden Freddy: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty.
Freddy: I like you, don't I?
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Gregory: My stomach growled super loud in French.
Gregory: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.
Monty: Bonjour.
Roxy: Le growl.
Glamrock Chica: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.
-
Toy Bonnie: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.
Bonnie: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue.
Toy Bonnie: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.
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Funtime Foxy: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’
Michael Afton: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.
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Chica: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet.
Bonnie: Why’d you get banned?
Chica: Touched the rat.
Bonnie: … What rat?
Chica: Chunky Cheese.
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Circus Baby: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
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Circus Baby: Ballora, we tried things your way.
Ballora: No, we didn't.
Circus Baby: I did it in my head and it didn't work.
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*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Freddy: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Chica: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Foxy: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Bonnie: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.
Foxy: *flips the board*
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Chica: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.
Toy Chica: What changed your mind?
Chica: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.
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Toy Freddy: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Toy Freddy: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.
Toy Bonnie: Socks are Feetie Heaties.
Toy Chica: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.
Mangle: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.
Balloon Boy: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.
The Puppet: I hate you guys so much.
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Sun: Let’s write Gregory a friendly note, shall we? Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass...
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Foxy: That was a joke. Say ha.
Bonnie: Ha.
Foxy: Now do it again.
Bonnie: Ha.
Foxy: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party.
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Bonnie: When I first met you, I did not like you.
Toy Bonnie: I'm aware of that.
Bonnie: But then you and I had some time together.
Toy Bonnie: Uh-huh?
Bonnie: It did not get better.
-
William Afton: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.
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Stress Relief - A Starker Fic
Summary: Being the boss of one of the biggest companies in the world is hard work. During a particularly stressful day, Peter is called in to provide the boss with a bit of stress relief.
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 2130
Tags: Daddy kink. Panty kink. Anal sex. Riding. Desk sex. Office sex. Graphic sex. Dirty talk. College Student Peter Parker. Boss Tony Stark. Established relationship. Bottom Peter Parker. Top Tony Stark.
Read on AO3
Tony Stark is on a rampage. Has been all afternoon ever since he found out about the fuck up in R&D. Apparently some of them tried to cover it up, but as much as the big boss looks like he’s never paying attention in meetings, he’s still Tony Stark and nothing gets past him.
And then apparently the coffee machine up in the executive lounge was on the fritz so the PA had to run to the coffee shop down the street, which … got the order wrong and in her hurry, the PA didn’t check before she took it and set it down on the desk in front of Mr. Stark and … well.
The lobby receptionist is at least 60 floors away from the epicentre of the carnage and she’s still stressing out. Drumming her lacquered fingernails agitatedly on her desk, she stares impatiently out the tower’s glass door entrance, muttering, “come on, come on …”
Finally, a sleek, black town car pulls up to the entrance. A young man in black skinny jeans and a thin, fitted grey t-shirt exits the car and makes his way to the tower lobby.
“Oh, thank God,” the receptionist exhales. She picks up her desk phone and quickly dials a number, the tone barely ringing once before it’s picked up. “He’s here,” she tells the receiver without preamble.
“Oh, thank God,” the man on the other line says. “Send him up. Now.”
The young man walks up to the reception desk, smiling apologetically. “Rough day, huh?” He’s handsome, with soft-looking wavy brown hair and big, bright brown eyes. The gleaming pendant that rests on his sternum looks like a cross at first but up close she can see that it’s actually a silver ‘T’.
“You’ve no idea,” the receptionist says miserably, handing over his badge. “Godspeed, Peter.”
“Thanks,” Peter says with a wink, clipping the badge onto his jeans pocket before heading towards the elevators.
Up on the executive floor, having had enough, Tony Stark storms out of the meeting room. One of his PAs (not the one who gave him the wrong coffee) scurries after him holding a stack of documents. Tony signs everywhere he’s supposed to after a cursory glance at each page, never breaking his stride, the PA hurrying next to him, speaking a mile a minute about each document. Around them, people jump out of his way, or turning right back around to avoid crossing his path.
“-and Peter Parker is in your office, sir,” the PA finishes breathlessly.
“Hm, well, you should’ve led with that,” Tony says curtly. He signs the last document and she hurriedly takes it from him. “Has he been here long?”
“Five minutes, sir.”
“Hold my calls and push everything back until after lunch. Or you know what, I’m not making any promises. Whenever I’m good and ready. I don’t care what you tell ‘em. I’m not here.”
“Ye-yes, sir, of course,” she says, but Tony had already slammed the door in her face.
Inside the spacious office, Tony finds Peter perched on his desk, wearing nothing but the silver necklace around his neck and a pair of red lacy panties. He’s perusing some schematics that were on Tony’s desk and doesn’t look up when Tony comes in. He smiles despite his irritation, making his way towards his boy.
“Mmm, baby aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Tony says, trailing a hand down Peter’s bare back and kissing his shoulder.
“You know, if they opened up the cooling system and redirected the excess thermal energy back into the energy core, it would stop it from overheating so quickly and increase output efficiency by at least like, 20%.”
“Don’t do their job for them, baby,” Tony scowls, taking the schematics from Peter’s hands and tossing them carelessly before sitting down on his rich leather chair. “They’re incompetent morons already. If you start working here, I might as well fire the whole department.”
“Hm, that might be fun. Working for you, calling you ‘sir’,” Peter says with a grin, trailing a foot teasingly up Tony’s thigh, coming to a rest on the man’s crotch. Tony grabs his ankle, pressing the sole of his foot against his burgeoning erection through the fabric of his dress pants, letting the lazy stimulation work him up.
“Yeah? You wanna be working under me? I can’t say I mind the view with you on top though.” Tony rubs a hand up Peter’s slender calf. “Come up here, baby. You wouldn’t believe the day I’m having.”
Peter hops off the desk and climbs onto Tony’s lap. “I heard. You shouldn’t be so mean, Daddy.” He tugs playfully on Tony’s tie, loosening the knot and undoing a few buttons. He slips his hand under Tony’s shirt, playing with the short, dark hairs on his chest.
“You’d be mean too if you had to deal with those idiots. I’d hire you to replace them all if you didn’t already have a full time job.” Tony lets out a pleased hum as he feels Peter grind in slow, little circles on his lap, coaxing him to full hardness with swivels of his plush ass. “You know what your job is?”
Peter twines his arms around Tony’s neck, darting out a pink tongue to kitten-lick at his mouth. “Being Daddy’s baby?”
“Exactly,” Tony growls, kissing him deep and filthy. Peter lets out a small whine against Tony’s lips as he allows the older man to devour him, submitting easily to the ardent kiss. The taste of Peter’s tongue is just as sweet as the sounds he makes. Tony drinks it in, hungry as he always is for his tempting, brilliant boy.
Tony’s hold on Peter’s jaw is possessive, kissing him like he owns him. His other hand grips at Peter’s lace-clad ass, the supple give of that perky flesh driving him crazy. He wants to get in there, ravage that body and unload all of the day’s pent-up frustration into a willing, wet hole. And his good boy is always willing, always yearning for it if the way his stiff, little cock is weeping into his panties is any indication.
Tony slips his fingers under the delicate lace between Peter’s ass cheeks and finds a plug nestled in his hole. He groans. “Oh baby , when did you even have time to put this in? Didn’t you come straight from campus?”
“In the car on the way here,” Peter says breathlessly. “They told me Daddy was having a bad day so I thought I’d get myself ready for you. Just slip right in whenever you want, Daddy. Use me up however you want.”
“You gave the driver a bit of a show, huh? Little slut,” Tony teases.
“No, Daddy. I put the partition up. This is only for you,” Peter says, pushing his ass back against Tony’s hands.
Tony plays with the base of the plug, pressing it against Peter’s insides, making the boy whimper and writhe against him. There’s something so filthy about sitting in his office, still fully clothed, and having a nearly-naked, beautiful boy grinding on his lap, ready to use for his pleasure.
“Bet you couldn’t hold your pretty little moans in, though. I bet he knew exactly what you were doing back there, opening yourself up for me.”
Tony wriggles the plug out of Peter’s hole, the boy whining at the empty feeling. Tony can’t help but dip a few of his fingers into that dripping hole, fucking in and out a few times just to get a feel of how delicious that grip would be on his cock. “God I need to get my dick in there, baby. I can’t wait anymore.”
With his other hand, Tony grapples to undo his pants. Peter pulls his panties aside, rises on his knees a bit, giving Tony space, letting him guide the tip of his hard cock to where it wants to go. He moans when Tony enters him, bearing down on that intrusion, feeling that thick girth split him wide open.
Tony groans at the snug clench of Peter’s body, unable to help himself from thrusting up into that tight heat.
Peter holds him down. “Just relax, Daddy. You’ve had such a tough day. Let me take care of you, make you feel good.” Peter rides him slowly, letting him feel the way his slick insides drag against the sensitive shaft with every rise and fall of his hips.
“Mmm baby, you feel perfect. Ride me just like that. Oh fuck, that’s good,” Tony grunts, leaning his back on his leather chair, hands guiding the tantalizing movements of Peter’s body. “God, you look so good bouncing on my cock like that. You like how it feels, baby?
“Yeah,” Peter moans, voice high and desperate. “You’re so big in me, Daddy.” His pace increases, wanting to impale himself fully on Tony’s cock. He gasps when a shift in angle had Tony hitting his prostate and he fucks himself harder, faster, taking pleasure with every shove back into that sweet spot.
The tight clutch of Peter’s hole pumping him with every up and down movement of his body is gratifying and maddening in equal measure. With an impatient growl Tony lifts Peter up bodily by the thighs and lays him out so that Peter’s lying flat on the polished wood of Tony’s desk. He pulls out briefly to rip Peter’s panties off before sinking back into that tight heat in one swift thrust.
Peter stretches languidly, showing off the taut lines of his body. He looks so good spread out like that, miles and miles of smooth skin on display, stuffed full of cock, back arching slightly under the searing heat of Tony’s gaze. The pendant hanging on his neck bearing Tony’s initial glints under the lights, to show the world exactly who he belongs to.
Tony looms over him, brushing stray curls away from Peter’s forehead, taking in the way the boy looks up at him with his big, brown lust-dilated eyes, sweet pink lips parted in arousal.
“Daddy’s baby is so pretty. You should just quit school and come hang out here, hang off my cock all the time. You’re too smart for college anyway.”
The position allows Tony to hit him deep, with hard, shallow thrusts that gets Peter mewling and panting prettily. Tony sucks bruising kisses down Peter’s neck, marking up that creamy skin possessively, as if there’s anyone on God’s green earth that doesn’t already know that Peter belongs to him, body and soul, heart and mind.
Tony’s hands wander down Peter’s toned torso as he fucks him, fingers tweaking over the raised pink nub of his nipple, eliciting a gasp from the boy already squirming under him. Peter bucks his hips up with a longing whine, yearning friction on his aching cock.
Tony stands back and holds him down firmly, pushing at Peter’s thighs until he’s practically bent in half. Peter spreads his legs easily, exposing where they’re connected. Tony groans at the sight, the way Peter’s rim clings to his hard, invasive flesh every time he plunges in there. Peter’s slick and warm and tight and welcomes him in like nothing else.
“Fuck, you take it so good. You like that cock, baby? You like taking it like a little slut?”
“Nngh, your slut, Daddy,” Peter moans, holding himself open. “I’m your slut. Only yours, just for you.”
“That’s right, baby, you’re all mine.” The sturdy desks creaks against the floor at the force of Tony’s thrusts. Peter gasps as Tony shifts the angle and hits his prostate head on, pounding into him harder and faster. “That feel good, baby? You wanna come on my cock? Come on, baby, let me feel it.”
Peter takes his weeping dick in hand and starts jacking it, panting heavily. He’s so beautiful when he’s lost in lust like that, chasing his pleasure with mindless abandon. Tony fucks him through it, shoves him further and further towards his climax until Peter comes with a cry, spilling over his taut stomach, hole clenching erratically around Tony’s cock. Unable to hold himself back any longer, Tony follows soon after with a satisfied groan, spilling his orgasm into Peter’s hole after a few brutal thrusts.
Tony collapses on top of his boy and they lie there for a few moments in a breathless, sweaty heap, blissed and satiated.
“Feel better, Daddy?” Peter asks, kissing the top of Tony’s head.
“Much better,” Tony responds, smiling.
--
Every single employee of Stark Industries knows what’s going on behind the closed doors of Tony Stark’s office but none of them care. All they care about is that whenever Peter visits, Tony leaves the room a much less stressed man, which also means less stress for everyone else.
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Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz
Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):
(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin for translating the German captions I got)
originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper
Responses:
(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”
me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson
Introducing the polycule to the parents
*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?
Ma Signor !
Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.
the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay
the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized
chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)
That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest
A Good Friday night
good omens (2019)
["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????
Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating
Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.
I love my bird wife
Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance
throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child
When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature
angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)
draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show
What have I gotten myself into
Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who
A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.
A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby
There are three types of people on Halloween:
Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...
oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!
gay brunch
Three little maids from school are we
guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back
those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.
Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility
When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers
"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."
originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini
Responses:
“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1
"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"
what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?
Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch
man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest
when you end up third wheeling the straight couple
lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney
A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk
Idk Shakespeare?
experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins
Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting
Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune
I never asked for this
Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear
voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease
Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!
lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?
human trafficking
And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!
Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress
A couple tortures a man in a box.
It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept
Taking eavesdropping to the next level
Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out?
SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST—
overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse
Does he know we can see him?
dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle
the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can
Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear
Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us
"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"
originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal
Responses:
“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”
horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.
definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on
King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set
king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk
Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession
man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse
That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive
Who the fuck put a horse on the stage
isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse
Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest
Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.
Night out with the lads
Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom
gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz
Well at least I LOOK badass
ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)
some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake
It’s just a model
Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?
Someone rides a horse statue in public.
Just a normal party with the bros.
what is this, some kind of crossover episode?
Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion
Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home:
All hail Incitatus the king
we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts
oh god is that hamilton
Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven
Gay <3
Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*
originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio
Responses:
That One kid in class
its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*
*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest
Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done
left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown
the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep
lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)
It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.
That was a fake horse in the last photo right?
child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time
dissociation solves everything
I can't believe it's not butter
Honey we talked about this
My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural
child has nightmare of boring job
When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night
just an average day in a hetero marriage
what do i do my wife's having period cramps again
Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!
“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”
Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.
When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!
Do you realize how effed you are?
Ugh, not this lecture again!
Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again
asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way
Will he shut up already!
no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj
this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway)
Me internally vs externally
Daddy issues
originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members
Responses:
It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein
why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on
I hate this itchy hat
Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours
people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank
pov: you’re a time traveler
guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos
No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind
Is this from Harry Potter?
disneyland main street usa workers on strike
local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.
"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"
“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)
dc movie filter on bridgerton
america?
looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again
Who still wears page boy hats bro?
Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That
Bitches are relieved at some party.
Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions
How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest
“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance”
It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit
?
when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different
pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up
Starting the pledge of allegiance be like
He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck
originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein
Responses:
“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical
eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
woooooorrrrd
Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.
what my professors think they look like
Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders
'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)
Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that
I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera
ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.
"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"
"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"
Graduation speakers are out, singers are in
Senior year takes a new meaninbg
mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women
Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like
younger boris johnson (derogatory)
jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking
What a fine graduation evening we’re having today
-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag
A man with a college hat sings.
An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody
How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years
East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-
I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!
I finally got my GED!
that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated
he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk
Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times
Smrt
originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)
Responses:
There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming
jinkies
femme fatale (including to herself)
I’ll have a threesome soon !
Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.
thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex
When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again
jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!
The throuple is thriving
Get off the milf
orgy
my last three braincells because im a horny slut
countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react
Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia
Woman's soul leaves body
Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex
bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples
When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy
Jesus cumming
one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk
What have I done
Hozier??????????
Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.
This time, the chick IS the magnet
An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)
What do you mean they canceled GLOW?
“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”
Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.
It's not what it looks like!
jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.
jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch
I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!
Shrek 5, jesus's return
c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)
just about all of these are close lol
originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc
Responses:
Don’t look, I’m still pooping
yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me
*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest
Cospeto!
„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“
when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up
When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me
right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao
Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”
Yeah I got nothing
gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway
me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)
"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"
"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"
I have the best idea!
Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy
lesbian is bothered by dilf
Me trying to flirt
if call me by your name was hetero and set in america
how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode
So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.
What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??
Two people flirt in a poor place of town/
"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"
You look like ur gonna kill me but ok
Really? You again?
Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.
Have you seen Godot?
she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.
idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS
200% done with your crap
Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves
originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me
Responses:
The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy
dear god its hiddeous
Capitalism
Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.
ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet
„Stop! He feels bullied!“
'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'
That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest
Omg I love the adventure zone!
minesweeper (windows xp)
"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"
Taking down the trash way too late
IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM
Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy
Star Wars 2030
“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “
futuristic kkk
long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire
Put it down put it down put it down
“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”
A weird ass crown is presented
The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong
How it feels to want something that u cant have
AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY
I know it's risky but... lube me up
?
use the force luke.
that is a weird fleshlight
When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it
Touch the orb
originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar
Responses:
When no one comes to your birthday party :(
fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot
i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with
Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).
the last supper afterparty after jesus left
When you order the last supper on wish
espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag
Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table
Now THIS is a Good Friday night
this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11
that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her
After the last supper
Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour
When the cishets aren’t home
waiter hides from customers
Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:
what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with
university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong
I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES
Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv
Someone hids under a table
"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"
5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:
They never invite me to their parties!
Just another girl’s night in
Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.
dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)
just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)
Just a normal day with the boys
Thievery
originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde
Responses:
Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?
holy disco
Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.
catholicism
me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)
jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him
Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk
Lord of the rings?
ewww christianity gross
"behold, I am Important"
"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"
Jesus at the Disco
Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem
disco is heaven
Want to join my new religion?
the kkk
church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream
Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...
“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”
A party is held with a priest in the middle
"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"
The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!
You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”
Jesus visits Hogwarts
I must really stink if no one will even come close to me
the extra ass funeral i DESERVE
star wars life day
A cult at it’s best-- closest
Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess
originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida
Responses:
When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot
loyalist of subjects
bow before your queen
They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.
somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral
Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server
mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest
That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit
I can’t even tell what’s going on here
8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school
let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)
"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"
Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills
White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)
dead man gives speech at his own funeral
brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing
high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene
Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog
Black-dressed bitches worship a man.
Worst school assembly of all time
POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"
When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert
That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong
?
theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal
oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,
A funeral, stop wearing so much black
I want to slap their bald heads like rice
originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo
Responses:
Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”
if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea
it was the best of times, it was the worst of times
Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.
priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-
when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft
lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking
Again. Too many black costumes
Loved this Dostoevsky novel
i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl
me on parties lol
"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"
"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"
Everyone act normal!
The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk
man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover
boys ???? night
the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest
He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before
Something happens in a room.
Perks of being a wallflower
There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna
Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...
The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene
Quick!
the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate
the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away
...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission
Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle
#opera#opera tag#results#screencaps#captions#caption#caption this#caption contest#this seems to have gone over well and I am Pleased
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Innocents don’t shed blood...
A Donny Donowitz X Fem!Reader requested by the sweet @redrosewritingsstuff.
Hope you’ll enjoy this story!
Hidden in a French forest, the Basterds tried to have some rest after their last successful raid against a German patrol.
While Omar and Hirschberg took a well-deserved nap, Wicki checked on his rifle, whereas Andy, Simon, Smitty, and Michael were playing cards.
As for Hugo, he sat on a rock while (Y/N) strapped a bandage around his hand.
(Y/N), the "Angel," as the Basterds nicknamed her because of her soft and caring personality. Even Hugo is more relaxed around her. After all, she was the only member of the team who did not kill any Nazis because she did not have to pay the "scalp debt" to Aldo.
She was like a ray of sunshine for those men, and especially for Donny Donowitz, who fell madly in love with her. Luckily for him, the lady felt the same.
Speaking of the latter, he glanced at (Y/N) with adoring eyes, watching every gesture of her delicate hands. A few seconds later, she finished her job:
"Here you are, Hugo! Next time, be careful with your knife!"
"I'll try to remember. Danke, Engelsschwester (Angel Nurse) (Y/N)." replied the soldier with a sly smile.
"You're welcome." answered the girl with a warming smile.
That same smile made Donny falling head over heels for her when they first met.His lieutenant, who watched the whole scene with amusement, decided to wake up his Sargent from his daydreaming.
"C'mon, Don, stop staring at your girl as if she was ice cream!" snickered Aldo.
Blushing, the Bear Jew muttered some Bostonian curses under his breath, while the other Basterds laughed at him.
However, Aldo did not expect the response from the young woman:
"So, Donny is looking at me like I'm ice cream? Well, that proves I'm so delicious!"
Utivich and Zimmerman howled with laughter, while Donny smiled proudly: his angel was the best!
Aldo chuckled:
"Ya gotta the point, girl!"
"Thanks, sir!"
Two hours later, Aldo got up and said:
"OK, guys, I've just finished doing the inventory of our supplies. I can't say we're running out, but if we don't buy supplies quickly, we'll be in trouble!"
"That much ?" Wicki asked.
"Bsolutely. That's why we have to go to the nearest village to do some shopping."
He walked over to Hirschberg and Omar, who were sleeping soundly, and ordered in a loud voice:
"Get up, ya lazybones!"
"Huh? What? What's going on?" the two men stammered.
"It happens that we have to restock, or you won't have dinner tonight! Come on, get up, and hurry!"
"Go without me: it will give me time to do some tidying up." suggested (Y / N)
At these words, Donny frowned.
"I'd rather you come with us (Y / N). I'm not comfortable leaving you all alone!"
"But hey, what do you want to happen to her? There's no one passing through here!" protested Hirschberg.
"I'm worried about her safety, damn it!" yelled the Bear Jew.
The young nurse ran her thin hand over her lover's cheek, which instantly calmed him.
"It's fine, Donny. I can manage on my own while you're away."
"She's right, Don: and then, it won't be too long. An hour maximum!" Sakowitz reassured him.
Letting out a long sigh, Donowitz surrendered with a smile:
"Alright, I trust you, doll. I'll be back ASAP!"
"I'm not worried. See you later, teddy bear!"
"See you later, angel!" Donny replied, placing a kiss on the tip of the nurse's nose, making her laugh.
"We'll buy you some medical supplies when we get back."
"Thanks, Michael!"
"See you later, (Y / N)," Omar told her.
While the men left for the city, the young woman remained alone in the camp.
She began to sort through the medicine boxes and carefully put them away in her case before thoroughly cleaning her syringes and surgical equipment.
Then, she took the metal box to store her surgical equipment and looked at it tenderly: on the lid was engraved an angel with a little nurse's hat: a sweet gift from Smitty, Hirschberg, Omar, and Andy for her birthday.
And to think that at the beginning, the other soldiers called her crazy when she joined Lieutenant Raine's team: they thought she was going to get mistreated. It was quite the opposite: the Basterds had immediately loved her.
Continuing with her cleaning, she hummed a tune her mother sang to her when she was little:
“Ma petite est comme l’eau,
Elle est comme l’eau vive.
Elle court comme un ruisseau
Que les enfants poursuivent.
Courrez, courrez
Vite si vous le pouvez !
Jamais, jamais
Vous ne la rattraperez !”
But as she worked, she didn't hear the German soldier creep up behind her. The latter had stumbled upon the Bastards' encampment by pure chance, but seeing that she was alone, he thought to himself that he had an opportunity to hurt those who massacred his comrades by making their friend suffer.
He approached her silently, then jumped on the young woman, causing her to fall to the ground.
Fighting back, the young woman screamed:
“Leave me alone, you jerk!”
Her attacker just slapped her before responding with a sadistic smile:
"Also, du kämpfst gern, kleine Schlampe? Wo sind deine sogenannten Freunde? Niemand wird dich retten! (So, you like to fight, little bitch? Where are your so-called friends? No one is going to save you!)".
Trying to escape, (Y / N) managed to grab a pan and sent it in the face of his assailant, who let out a cry of rage. Taking advantage of the confusion, she started to run, but suddenly a hand grabbed her ankle, and she fell to the ground again.
The Nazi attacked her again, a glint of madness in his eyes. Searching by all means for a weapon to defend herself, the young woman grabbed the first object that was within her reach and struck for the first time. Then a second. Then a third. She, who had never fought in her life, unleashed all her rage and fear on her opponent by beating him up.
(Y / N) only ceased her blows when her attacker stopped moving. Not understanding what had happened, she looked at her hands and discovered in horror that they were covered in blood. And on top of that, she was holding a knife. She glanced at her nurse's uniform, which was also stained with blood.
She glimpsed at her aggressor and noticed that he laid on the ground, inert, with his eyes wide open and his chest pierced with multiple stabs.
It was then that she understood what had happened: for the first time in her life, she had just killed a man. Admittedly, it was self-defense, but (Y / N) was appalled by her gesture: how were the others going to react when they discover her crime?
Trembling, she let go of the knife and fell to the ground, breathing erratically and unable to emit a single sob ...
Meanwhile, the Bastards were returning from town with their provisions.
"We have everything we need: we'll be quiet for a while!" Andy said.
"What are we doing, Lieutenant?" Hugo asked.
"We're staying here for tonight, and we'll be heading to Lyon tomorrow morning! We have an appointment with members of the Resistance!" Aldo replied.
For his part, Donny walked in silence, holding in his pocket the present he planned to give to his angel. He didn't like being away from her, even if it was only for a few moments, because he feared he couldn't protect her.
"Don't worry, Romeo: you will be soon reunited with your Juliet!" Wicki joked sweetly.
Suddenly, Smitty listened:
"Do you hear that?"
"What ?" Hirschberg asked.
"Hush, listen!"
Everyone fell silent and heard moans in the distance as if someone was hurt. When they realized it was a woman's voice, they all thought of the same person:
"(Y/N)"
They ran towards their camp as fast as they could, praying that nothing wrong had happened to their nurse.
The one who worried the most was Donny: if anything had happened to (Y/N), he would never forgive himself.
A few minutes later, they arrived near their camp and discovered traces of the struggle.
"But what the heck happened here?" Hirschberg asked, stunned.
"I don't know, but that doesn't reassure me!" Simon replied.
"Somebody got into a fight here, for sure ... But where is (Y/N)?" Hugo exclaimed.
Suddenly, they heard wheezing near them. The Bastards turned and saw their nurse lying on the ground, breathing heavily, and her chest covered in blood.
At that moment, Donny had the impression that the ground gave way beneath his feet: all he feared had happened, he had failed to protect his angel.
"NO! Y/N!" he cried, rushing towards the young woman, and holding her in his arms.
"Oh, my God !" Utivich panicked.
"WICKI! COME HERE QUICKLY!" yelled Aldo.
The Austrian arrives near the young woman and begins to examine her, fearing to find too serious injuries. As for the others, they were petrified: they blamed themselves for having left her alone. If she had come with them, they could have protected her.
But when he finished, Wilhelm looked puzzled.
"So what's wrong with her? Are her injuries serious? But answer me, damn it!" the Jewish Bear said impatiently.
"How can I tell you ... It's not her blood!"
"What do you mean ?" Aldo asked.
"She has no physical injuries ... other than that bruise on her face!"
"Who hit her?" Omar asked, ready to gut the one who had dared to raise his hand on his best friend.
"Probably the Fritz who looks like a colander and is lying on the floor!" Andy replied, pointing to the corpse of the Nazi lying on the ground.
Seeing the body of their enemy, the Bastards did not take long to understand what had happened during their absence. But it was necessary to be clear about it.
"Tell me (Y/N), what happened?" Aldo asked.
The young woman looked up at her lieutenant, and the Apache could see in the nurse's gaze anguish, shame, and immense sadness.
She tried to explain, but she could only let out a strangled sob. Her guilt was suffocating her.
"Don't worry, doll, I'm here!" reassured her Donny, who hugged her.
"Take your time. We will listen to you when you're ready," Simon said to her.
Catching her breath, the young woman began her story:
"I was doing some tidying up when he threw himself on me ... It went so fast that I didn't understand what was happening at the time. I defended myself as I could. I thought he was going to kill me. After that, everything happened so quickly. It became blurry. And I only stopped when I saw all this blood on my hands. "
She looked up at her companions, on the verge of tears:
"I know I had no choice but… I felt like I had betrayed Nightingale's pledge, and I was so afraid of your reaction!"
"(Y/N), don't be upset about it. We all know you fought back, and you did well. No one will blame you for stabbing a Fritz." Wicki told her.
"Still, you did not miss him: the Kraut is very messed up!" Hirschberg joked.
But seeing (Y/N) 's desperate face and the glare that his companions gave him, he realized that it was not the right time.
"Frankly, Hirschberg, just shut up!" Hugo sighed, rolling his eyes.
Night fell, and the Batards took advantage of the calm of the forest to feed and rest before the long journey that awaited them.
Recovering from his emotions, Y/N stayed close to Donny throughout the evening, seeking comfort from his lover.
Even though her guilt was starting to fade, she couldn't help but feel disgusted with what had happened. Of course, the war revealed the dark side of the human being, but the nurse hoped, deep down, that she would not fall into this trap.
"Is everything all right, princess?" Donny asked.
The young woman shyly nodded:
"I'm doing a little better..."
"Come on over there ..." her lover said softly, taking her against him.
(Y/N) let himself go into the sergeant's muscular, protective, and reassuring embrace.
"I understand that you are still shaken by what happened. But that does not change anything for me: you remain my ray of sunshine ... And the others think the same."
"Really ?"
"I swear to you: they were impressed that you, the most pacifist among us, killed a Nazi. And that proves that you are indeed one of us."
He reached into his pocket and handed her a necklace adorned with an angel medallion made of bluestone.
Without a word, she picked up the object and stared at it, fascinated, before returning her attention to Donny, who was staring at her fondly.
"Don't forget (Y/N): even if the blood still flows at your feet, even if it stains your clothes, even if it strews your face, you will always remain my immaculate angel ... And I'll always be here for you!"
To his relief, a moved smile lit up the face of the young woman who kissed him.
"Thank you for your trust!"
"Anytime, doll. Anytime."
They hugged with strength. The young nurse whispered:
"I love you, Don."
"I love you too, (Y / N)"
And as they were about to fall asleep, the young nurse had a calm mind: yes, the innocent do not shed blood, but as long as they are surrounded by those who love them, nothing can defile them.
And she knows her Bear Jew is watching over it.
Thanks for reading ! I’m waiting for your requests and your reviews !
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Inktober Day 8: Watch
Next
Warnings: Cursing, mentions of death.
Watch: to observe closely in order to check on action or change.
Time to torture the Scotty!
______________________
Scott doesn’t even make it to the edge of his hiding place before scrambling back as shoes sprint past him. He cowers away into pitch darkness, among the cobwebs and forgotten papers, trying to calm his breathing down. Pray that he doesn’t have a heart attack now of all times.
Being a shifter has its perks and downfalls. He can escape Vince if he shrinks down and ducks into the walls. He can make Eggs rethink a prank by growing several feet. That comes with scaring Jeremy enough the stuttering guard can’t say a single word. Or another guard spots him shrunk and snatches him up.
It’s rare for Scott to actually shift. He hasn’t even truly escaped Vince for a while, now. He’s too old for it. It always seems the risk out way the benefits.
That’s why he’s a bit terrified at the fact he shrunk as he walked into David’s restaurant for routine inspection. Took five steps in, past the gate, and ended up staring at the platform the register sits on a hundred feet above him. He wasn’t allowed a moment to panic about not being able to grow back right away, not with a family walking in right behind him. There was only enough time to get to safety.
But now he’s stuck in the middle of a children’s entertainment center, unable to do anything but watch. Too afraid to go anywhere near where thundering footsteps could turn him into a bloody smear. Or if he’s lucky, get seen by a child who mistakes him for a toy.
Scott shakily runs a hand down his face. He needs to think.
Growing now would be a mistake. Someone will see him just appear, and he can’t make it seem like they saw something weird, he’s been gone for too long. He can’t make his way to the front door, either. As much as he tries to shift just an inch taller, it’s not happening, meaning once again that he’s stuck.
He really doesn’t want to ask David of all people...
The eldest guard growls as he takes out his phone, scrolling to find the business man, quickly dialing the number before he reminds himself how terrible the tallest is when Scott’s shrunk. Never keeps his voice down. Never looks at where he steps or sets things down. Guaranteed it’s because he was specifically told someone about three inches tall was at the table.
God, this is a bad idea. He should hang up before he’s into a stress reliever and-
“Scott, you’re late.”
“No,” the eldest guard sighs. “I’m here.”
He can see David giving a confused yet angry look. “Then why the hell are you calling me?”
“I need help.”
“Uh huh,” the business man murmurs. “With what? I know my restaurant's impressive, but it’s pretty straightforward. You’ve been here how many times?”
“Not with directions. Look, can you meet me under the register?”
“Under the register? What do you mean-?”
Scott winces at the sudden laughter pouring through the phone’s receiver. He quickly covers the speaker, worried it’s loud enough to be heard by the employee standing right above him. The fear is validated because he knows Fritz has to where earplugs whenever he has to entire David’s office while he’s yelling on the phone.
“You’re shrunk!”
“Please tell everyone,” Scott snaps.
“Oh this day can’t get any better,” is grinned as he hears a chair rolling away before a door swings open. “You absolute dumbass.”
The shifter doesn’t comment as David makes his way down the hallway. He notices the moment the business man steps into the main room, swearing he can feel the tremble in the ground as expensive shoes pause.
He can see the black slacks and confident stride, watching as his heart begins to sink lower and lower. What was he thinking, calling David? Fritz doesn’t answer his phone while he’s working, but he just watched until the redhead went on his lunchbreak, called him then-
“I’ll stand by the register, and you’ll hitch a ride.”
“W-What?”
“Don’t make me spoon-feed you. Jump onto my shoe once I’m close enough.”
“Are you insane!” Scott exclaims with a hushed voice. “Just kneel down for God’s sake! I am not jumping onto your shoe!”
“Well I’m not kneeling on this disgusting floor!”
The eldest guard wants to smack himself upside the head for calling David Harrison to come help him. “David, I swear to God, if you don’t just pick me up, I will shrink you and show you just how terrifying sitting on someone’s shoe as they walk is like!”
For once there’s no rebuttal, and Scott watches the expensive shoes get closer and closer. They don’t turn around. He can tell they’re stomping heavily like a child does when they’re pouting after not getting their way.
David suddenly hangs up as he steps up to the register, a familiar rumble shooing the employee away that hasn’t checked any new guests in for a while.
Finally, finally, a knee slams onto the ground, a hand set beside it, palm up.
Scott doesn’t hesitate to sprint out and fling himself into safety. He’s immediately trapped in a fist, and while he doesn’t appreciate it, at least he’s not hanging on for dear life to shoe laces. Waiting for the inevitable when he accidentally lets go, and he’s crushed.
Vertigo leaves his stomach far behind as David stands up. Walks away without another word.
“I think you’re bitchier when you’re shrunk,” are the first words of greeting after the hand finally opens up, Scott catching a finger to keep from tumbling off the edge.
“You wanted me to jump onto your shoe?” the eldest guard counters.
David immediately straightens his chest. “It was the easiest way! You had to have someone offer their hand, though. Next time you’re stranded, get Mutated Grape to help.”
Scott can’t retort as he’s suddenly spilled onto the desk. A finger not so gently nudging him away from the keyboard. An arm slamming down directly beside him to top it off.
“Now shut up and let me do my work.”
“...thanks.”
A shiver runs down the shifter’s spine when the typing suddenly stops, risking a glance up at David. Wishing he didn’t when he sees a sneer aimed down at him.
“Oh, don’t thank me yet. I’ve been feeling a bit...stressed out lately.”
James just lost the bet of David not trying to squeeze him to death within the first five minutes of having a shrunken Scott all too himself.
Next
#Inktober 2021#Day 8: Watch#g/t#giant#tiny#FNAF Bois#11:59#I needed to torture Scott#hope you enjoyed!#smol Scott#next up#tol Scott#writing#BTE writing
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Strawberries & Cream
A/N: Hi! So I’m finally back with the follow up to my first fic.😄I had such wholesome hopes for this but I seemed to have unintentionally taken a sharp turn into Smutville🙈 Kudos to anyone who writes this on a regular because the whole process was like pulling teeth🙃 My real-life friends who proofread for me will forever be scarred and they won’t let me live it down lol😅. I’m hoping my Tumblr peeps are more forgiving. I don’t think it’s *that* bad but we’ll see. So I hope you enjoy! Apologies in advance if you need to bleach your eyeballs after! 🤣🤦🏾♀️Feedback is welcome as always.💜
Read Part 1 here: Sweet Surprise
Title: Strawberries & Cream (Part 2)
Pairing: Darcy Lewis x Steve Rogers
Summary: Steve and Darcy’s date doesn’t entirely go as planned.
Rating: Explicit. NSFW under the cut 🔞
Warnings: Smut. Absolute filth🙈. PWF. Fingering. Squirting. Cursing. Attempt at humour. Very little plot lol (It’s supposedly super intense y’all⚠️)
Steve should have known that things were going a little too well.
He arrived at Darcy’s SoHo kitchen promptly at 6 pm and was immediately put to work on the frostings for the blueberry-lemonade and blood orange cupcakes. He was the perfect gentleman while they worked, only flexing his biceps when he caught her staring. Needless to say, he had no problem how frequently that happened.
With the SUV Steve borrowed from Tony’s collection at the Tower, they dropped off the cupcakes a few blocks away and headed back to Brooklyn for dinner. Cheeseburgers and strawberry milkshakes with knees brushing under the table at the diner near the docks, turned into strolling on the pier holding hands and heated kisses at the lookout over the water. Until Darcy announced with a naughty glint in her eye that she was ready for dessert.
She sighed happily as she smoothed her hands over his sculpted chest. She pinched one of his pink nipples and he jumped. “God bless America. I’ve been thinking about motorboating these all day.”
She sighed happily as she smoothed her hands over his sculpted chest. She pinched one of his pink nipples and he jumped. “God bless America. I’ve been thinking about motorboating these all day.”
Steve promptly choked. He couldn’t have heard her right. “D-Darcy, I-”
“No need to get your super-soldier briefs in a bunch,” she assured Steve huskily. He was left spluttering as her fingers followed the happy trail of dark blonde hair down his rock hard abs. She got up to take off her charcoal cardigan and burgundy cami and wriggled out of her black leggings. “You’ll get a turn too.”
At the sight of Darcy in a skimpy thong and just short of spilling out of a sexy lace bra, Steve’s brain short-circuited. Darcy knew the black number with appliqué details did nothing to support her fantastic tits and she was a little conscious of her soft tummy. But the hungry look in Steve’s eyes did everything for her ego.
“Beautiful,” he whispered as he pulled her back to him.
She straddled his thighs and rolled her hips against his. Her grin widened at the feel of his covered length pressed incessantly under her bare cheek. “Is that a spatula in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
Steve stifled a chuckle as he silenced her with a kiss. He was starting to think she was trying to kill him. If he had the heart of a regular centenarian, his pacemaker would be on the fritz. But what a way to go!
The sudden upbeat ringing of Steve’s cellphone echoed through the apartment, over their panting and kissing. Steve fastidiously ignored it in favour of sucking on the soft spot behind Darcy’s right ear, which left her mewling. It was quickly becoming his new favourite sound.
Neither of them paid any mind to the ringing of Darcy’s phone a few seconds after his stopped. The screaming roar of Black Sabbath seemed a distant hum as Steve ground his crotch against the rapidly dampening spot on Darcy’s panties, much to her delight.
But at the unmistakable tone of his communicator vibrating off the table, Steve groaned, burying his face in Darcy’s neck. “Fuck.”
“We’re getting there, soldier.” She quipped, giggling when he retaliated with a nibble on her ear lobe. He sighed as the beeping stopped but he knew it wouldn’t be the end of it.
“Steve?” Darcy pulled back to catch her breath and get a better look at his face in the little moonlight illuminating the dark apartment. She took no small amount of pride in how botched he looked. She could barely see the ocean-blue ring around his dilated pupils. The rosy flush from his cheeks extended to his muscled chest.
She ran her fingers through his dishevelled dark blonde hair, fingernails scratching his scalp in an attempt to soothe the tension coursing through his body. “It’s a mission, isn’t it?”
Steve closed his eyes and nodded. “Yeah. I’m sorry, Darce.”
“It’s okay. Really!” She added when he shot her a disbelieving look. Still stroking his hair, Darcy gave him a sad smile.
“It was going to happen eventually, Steve,” she admitted. “Look, I may not be involved right now but I’m not a regular civilian. I know what reality is like for you and I can accept it.” She kissed him chastely. “Now, the sooner you go out there and be Captain America, the sooner you can come back here and be Steve Rogers with me.”
His heart squeezed at her words. He pulled her close to him again and kissed her forehead. “Thank you, doll.”
They traded a few more kisses before his cellphone started up again. This time he answered on the first ring. “Rogers.”
“Sorry to ruin your date night, old man,” Tony began, “but we have a situation. Your balls will have to stay blue a little longer-“
“Tony,” Steve warned as Darcy snorted.
“-Or you could make it a quickie.” Tony ploughed on, Sam and Bucky cackling in the background. “Either way, we’re coming to get you. ETA 15 minutes.”
Steve let his head drop against Darcy’s collarbone in defeat as he hung up the phone. He really needed new friends.
“Rain check?” Darcy suggested. The undertones of disappointment in her voice strengthened Steve’s resolve to make it up to her. Captain America- and more importantly Steve- did not break his promises.
In an effortless show of strength, he manhandled her to lie horizontally across his lap. Her squeal at the sudden movement turned into a moan, as he parted her legs and rubbed her nub through the damp thong.
“Steve!” Darcy gasped, eyes flickering between his and watching his fingers work as she clung to him. “We don’t have the time! They’ll be here in 15!”
”I’ve always got a plan, Darce,” he assured. “This is Plan B. And I’ll only need 10.”
Steve groaned as he peeled off her panties to find her dripping. He ran his fingers from the neatly trimmed triangle of hair above her pussy to her glistening lips. “Sweetheart. You’re soaked.”
Blushing, Darcy bit her lip. “I’m a gusher.”
“A wha…?”
Steve blamed it on the lack of blood flow to his brain but it took him a few moments to understand exactly what she meant. His eyes darkened and she shivered. “Oh.”
With his right hand, he gently rubbed wide circles around her little pearl, spreading the moisture. Darcy writhed with pleasure as she held her knees apart to give him better access. Both moaned when he sunk two fingers into her tight, hot hole, sliding in easily up to his knuckles. She jolted as he pinched her nipple with his other hand.
“So sensitive, Darce,” He whispered against her temple as he began thrusting his fingers in earnest. “Let me hear you.”
Darcy can’t help but chuckle in disbelief. He was so smooth with his filthy mouth. Steve may have seemed like a sweet innocent lamb on the outside but here in the dark, he was definitely a wolf ready to devour her.
In no time at all, she was trembling on his fingers with a gasp, arousal spilling down her creamy thighs and onto his jeans. Feeling the build-up of pressure as she squeezed him, he pulled out his fingers and was rewarded with a powerful gush.
“That’s it,” he praised. He returned to steadily rubbing her clit even as she tried to squirm away from his touch. The friction of her ass wriggling against his cock was delicious but he needed to focus on her for a little while longer. He sucked a mark on the side of her neck, toying with her nipple again. “Give me one more, sweetheart. One more. Cum for me.”
This time Darcy screamed as the orgasm ripped through her, squirting onto the couch below them. Her wails had him cumming with a grunt in his jeans not too long after. He kissed her deeply, holding her close.
Reduced to a boneless puddle of pleasure, Darcy purred contentedly as Steve scooped her up and took her to his bedroom, where he laid her on the bed. With a warm washcloth, he cleaned her up before jumping into the shower to quickly rinse himself. He was suited up, cowl in hand, with a minute and a half to spare.
He knelt down to brush the curls away from her face. “I want nothing more than to climb in and cuddle with you, Darce but I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
She yawned when he kissed her forehead, halfway to dreamland and melting into his sheets. “We’re gonna have to work on Plan A when you get back,” she mumbled.
“Yes ma'am,” Steve hummed in agreement. She was definitely going to kill him.
——————
Temp Tags: (Hopefully you want to read it 😬🙈) @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @night-of-the-living-shred @jtargaryen18 @navybrat817 @cilinarc @stargazingfangirl18 @marvelbrat @typhoidmeri
#shieldshock#darcy lewis x steve rogers#darcy x steve#darcy lewis#kat dennings#chris evans#steve rogers#steve rogers fanfiction#captain rogers#captain america fanfiction#captain america#marvel fanfiction#marvel#steve rogers smut#darcy lewis fanfiction#Darcy lewis smut#starcy#suzieqsez#smut#marvel smut#smut fic#steve x darcy
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