#as someone who has had far more relationship/sexual experience w men than w women or nb people i constantly feel like a fake bisexual lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

babesonly · 3 years

Text

fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS.

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny.

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

An ethics lesson from Hell

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want?

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god.

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #mine

472 notes · View notes

pluviophile-imagines · 3 years

Note

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

#ask.🌧#anon #pattering on the roof #char.🌧 multi #again these r just the ones ive thought about so sorry if i didnt bother with any chars u care abt ajkhsfbgsjdhfb #thank yall for asking LMFAO any excuse to ramble abt this shit #it does impact the way i write these chars #obviously #bc this is meta more than anything else and so is fanfic lol

18 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

hi steph, I hope you enjoyed your break and are looking after yourself! if you’re back and feeling up to it, I was wondering if you knew of any affectionate sherlock fics or ones where john calls him pet names? just that lovey dovey vibe w a cuddly sherlock :) again, thank you for everything you do ❤️

HI LOVELY!!!

AHHHH You are in luck!!! I actually have a Pt Two list that I’ve been just WAITING for someone to ask for, LOL. I hope you enjoy what I have for you today!!!! And as always, add your own fics, my lovelies!! <3

PET NAMES Pt. 2

See also: Pet Names Pt 1

“My / His John” / “My / His Doctor”

New World, Old Words by thedeafwriter (G, 641 w., 1 Ch. || Deaf Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Always John) – It was disconcerting to experience. One second, he was laying on the table, breathing in the gas that would make him sleep, the next, he was dragging his eyes open to look around the bright room, trying to wake up.

Possessive by Fang323 (T, 850 w., 1 Ch. || John Whump, Hospitalization, Possessive / Protective Sherlock, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – His John did not belong. Not here. Not in this blasted hospital. It simply was not logical.

Concussions And Good Old Fashioned Awkwardness by Belldere (K+, 894 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Hospitals, Mild John Whump, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationship, Concussions, Not-Gay John, Possessive Sherlock) – When John lands himself in hospital... again, all he wants is to just get out of there as soon as possible, too bad his doctor has other ideas about where John may be getting his injuries. Good thing concussions make everything strangely funnier.

Burn Burn by Jenn1984 (K+, 925 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Angst, Worried / Panicked / Possessive Sherlock) – A week after the events of "The Great Game", Sherlock returns to 221B Baker Street to find it empty.

Loved. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 1,231 w., 1 Ch. || First Sherlock POV, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nose Kisses, Morning After, Love Confessions, Morning Cuddles, Emotional Sherlock, Sentiment, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock reflects on his relationship with John. Part 5 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Lost and Found by jaradel (G, 1,750 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, John Whump, Est. Rel., Hurt/Comfort) – He's honestly not sure what's worse, right now - being where he is, the beaten kidnap victim, or being where Sherlock is, trying to rescue him before it's too late. Unwillingly his mind offers up the image of Sherlock in a video message, tied to a chair, bruised and bloodied. John squeezes his eyes shut to hold back tears. No, he decides. That would be so much worse.

The Video Footage by bitchinblackframedglasses (K, 1,894 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Fluff, ASiB Missing Scene) – What exactly DID Lestrade film Sherlock doing in A Scandal in Belgravia? Sherlock wants to know, and John tells him.

Husband by jinglebell (E, 2,003 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., PWP, Anal, Multiple Orgasms, Fluff) – Sherlock orgasms when John refers to him as 'husband'.

Sherlock Holmes and the Mysterious Piercing by Lorelei_Lee (E, 4,130 w., 1 Ch. || Travelling, Sherlock is Loud, Secrets, Genital Piercing, First Time, Licking, Coming Nearly Untouched) – John discovers by chance that Sherlock has a piercing. To his surprise John can't stop thinking about it...

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

The Haunting of 221B Baker Street by earlgreytea68 (M, 10,388 w., 2 Ch. || Post TRF, Halloween / Ghosts, Pining Sherlock, Ghost Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Angry Sex, Ghost Sex, Love Confessions, Open / Ambiguous Ending) – In which Sherlock Holmes is a ghost.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John's preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn't walked through the park and met Stamford?What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w., 12 Ch. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock's first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

“Love” / “My Sherlock”

I Knew You Loved Me by inevitably_johnlocked (T, 743 w., 1 Ch. || Morning Cuddles, Fluff, Clingy Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slice of Life, Morning After, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Declarations of Love, Pet Name, Bed Sharing, Snuggles) – John and Sherlock share a lie-in the morning after their first time. So fluffy and gross your teeth will fall out. Part 4 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

A Study in Lace by KarlyAnne (E, 2,320 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Crafty Sherlock, Tiny Lace Panties / Lingerie, Domestics, Experiments, Oral, Masturbation) – “Why do you suppose he was doing that?” “Why do I suppose who was doing what?” “The room. The lace. The secrecy. He was playing with fire in everything he did, and didn’t care one bit. But he had a secret chamber, carefully concealed, solely for the purpose of making lace lingerie. Obviously for personal use. Why?" Part 1 of The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes

Tell Me a Secret, Sherlock Holmes. by DaringlyDomestic (NR, 3,880 w., 2 Ch. || Love Confessions, Truth or Dare, Smut, Gentle Explicit Love, Microscopic Angst) – John's voice is low and seductive, sending a shiver of want crackling through his stomach. Sherlock's heart beats frantically against his ribcage, and his breathing grows fast as he feels John's lips flutter against the sensitive skin of his neck. The kiss, if it could really be called that, is so quick and so light that Sherlock is almost convinced he had imagined it. Part 9 of Tumblr Drabble Challenge

Applied Linguistics by what_alchemy (M, 4,837 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive / Anxious Sherlock, Introspection, Bed Sharing, Past John Whump, Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Word Play) – “He wants to shake John by the shoulders, wants to open his mouth and swallow John whole. Wants to marry him.” Sherlock searches for the right words.

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

Talk by illwick (E, 6,364 w., 1 Ch. || Dirty Talk, John’s Giant Junk, PWP, Light BDSM, Size Kink, Oral / Anal, Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Established Rel., John Calls Sherlock Love) – Sherlock was never much for dirty talk... until an unexpected visit yields unexpected results. Part 20 of Unwind

Survival Instinct by shirleyholmes (T, 7,162 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Kiss, Schmoop, Nightmares, Fluff & Angst, Grief, Idiots in Love) – After Sherlock's "comeback" John starts obsessing with constantly making sure he's alive (checking his heartbeat etc.)

Of Razors, Pipes, Red Notebooks and Rugby Jerseys, Or: Sherlock Doesn't Like His Doctors Clean Shaven by allonsys_girl (E, 7,313 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., PWP / Porn With Feelings, John’s Beard / Beard Kink, Roleplay, Love Declarations, Banter, Rimming, Anal, Domestic Fluff / Bliss, Idiots in Love, Emotional Lovemaking, Pet Names, Obsessive Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock) – John grows a beard. Sherlock really likes it. Part 1 of Consulting Husbands

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John, Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names, Panic Attack) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost...magical.

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || Alternate Future AU || , Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

OTHER PET NAMES

A Christmas Holiday by consultinggalpals (sansa_undergrind) (G, 1,076 w., 1 Ch. || Tooth Rotting Fluff, Christmas, Honeymoon) – "Come on, Sherlock. Just take the picture already.”

Unquantifiable by 221b_hound (M, 2,799 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Sherlock/Sally Friendship, Grumpy John, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Pet Names, Texting, Sweet Sherlock, Princess Bride References) – John remains a terrible and foul-tempered patient, but he does try to make up for it with pet names and text message silliness. In the meantime, Sally Donovan visits Baker Street for a hint about the Milverton case, and has to deal with a Sherlock Holmes who can't find words big enough to thank her for saving John's life at the warehouse. For afters, there's a viewing of The Princess Bride. Part 33 of the Unkissed series

Pillow Talk by scullyseviltwin (M, 5,183 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Angsty Fluff, PIllow Talk, Bed Sharing, Worried John, First Time Morning After, Soft Sherlock, Sexuality Discussion, Love Confessions, Kisses and Cuddles) – John has been looking at Sherlock for ages, it feels like.

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w., 11 Ch. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #pet names #my fic recs #my john #effortlesslie #long post #e-rated fics

121 notes · View notes

menalez · 2 years

Note

this may be an offensive question so up front, i don't mean anything harmful or that i'm asking in bad faith. i do wonder if gold starism really does correlate to lesbianism, and i understand you had a bf before. if it turns out that you are bi, is it something that you can deal with? what i mean is, will you still be with women happily like you are now with your lesbian label instead of bi? i feel like some bis mislabel themselves as lesbians so they can feel brave enough to be women only. jw!

i don’t think “gold starism” correlates. ive met plenty of women who are very much exclusively attracted to women yet not goldstars, many lesbians who have been out for decades and fighting for lesbians for decades but long ago they had a husband or boyfriend or w/e. women overall are pressured to be with men and told thats our role in life, and many lesbians grow up pushing themselves to fit into that. on another hand, plenty of goldstars also eventually come out as bi. someone’s sexual history tells us little to nothing and the human psyche is far more complex than “only does something if they genuinely want to / if it’s natural to them” and this has been shown over and over again. a lot of the goldstars i know have told me that them being goldstars feels more like a result of their specific environments, for some they were pressured a lot to be w men or try men but refused. there’s no one, shared Lesbian Experience beyond us all being female homosexuals, ie having always been & continuing to be exclusively same sex attracted.

ppl love bringing up the boyfriend i was pushed into a relationship with and felt obligated to be with, yet had 0 attraction to and kept trying to leave, to argue i actually have faced attraction to men. but that was simply not the case for me. i was never attracted to any man, not even him, but i did try desperately to change that to my own detriment, until eventually i accepted that i simply cannot. unfortunately way too many lesbians have done similar to varying degrees and i hope soon there’ll be a future where none of us feel like we have to fight ourselves like that.

now to answer ur question… if i were bi, i don’t see why i wouldn’t be exclusive to women anyways? idk. hard to say. i don’t bother thinking about that bc people have been trying to convince me that im into men for years & ive done the same to myself years before that and it just hasn’t happened. i don’t believe what lesbians are often told, that Maybe we’ll eventually find “the right guy” who’ll “change our minds” someday, and that’s what this feels like to me tbh.

#ofc if i was attracted to men id just call myself bi #anonymous

3 notes · View notes

fleetwoodmak99 · 3 years

Text

Primed for Sin (4/10)

SUMMARY: Arthur tries figuring out what to do while Elena does her own investigation on who the clown was. Finding the journal was a step in the right direction. Elena confronts Arthur on what he has been doing.

WARNINGS: Stalking, taking photos without permission, bad writing lol.

I’m so sorry this part took a little bit for me to get out. I've been dealing with a lot of shit emotionally and just can't seem to get in the zone. This definitely helped me through it so I'm really thankful. Don’t worry, smut is on the way. I know this is starting to get long but it just so fun to write about this guy.

Part 3

Elena paced around the living room. She didn't even know where to start about what had happened the previous night. It kind of felt like it didn't even happen, like it was all one big horrible dream.

Luckily she was able to occupy Michael with his favorite plate of spaghetti and cartoons while she tried processing her emotions.

She knew she should have called the police. She should be putting him in jail for what had happened but she couldn’t bring herself to do so.

The men who surrounded her the night before would have probably done much worse if the clown hadn't been there. Yet she shivered every time she thought of him.

She was even more surprised when she found the journal that belonged to Arthur. The man had seemed so sweet. She never thought he would be capable of such things.

Yet here she was, looking at the mans journal. She needed answers as to why he was there and who he really was. It couldn't have been a coincidence for the clown to have shown up at the right time.

Opening the first few pages, it seemed like a normal journal. Some drawings here, some jokes there. Nothing too out of the ordinary. It wasn’t until she got into the thick of it that things started to come to light.

He talked about being in pain all the time. That he wanted to snap. She couldn't help but feel bad for the man but it soon dissipated when she soon saw the drawings of naked women. She guessed every guy had fantasies like that. She just didn't expect to be apart of them.

Going through the pages, she felt her privacy grow smaller and smaller. Photos of her at work, picking up food, playing with Michael and the one that shocked her the most was one of her in bed wearing barely anything with her hands between her legs.

Reading the text, he would describe performing very specific sexual acts on her that she didn't even know was a thing. Not that she had much experience, but she certain had no idea a person could have such a dirty mind.

As she hate to admit, she almost felt excitement from it. It made her feel special to have someone want her so badly in this kind of way. Of course she didn't expect for it to be in this sort of way but she honestly didn't feel as angry or upset about it as she probably should be. Thankful that he had shown up when he did but there was a small part of her that didn't ask for this and just wanted things to go back to normal.

Eventually the cartoon ended and Michael once again was wanting to play with his big sister. She had to suppress what she was feeling for now but she knew eventually she would have to confront Arthur.

______________________________________________________________

Arthur too seemed to be having a difficult time processing what had happened last night. He sat on the couch with a lit cigarette in hand, he could feel the burning sensation as the smoke grew in his lungs.

How could have he been so stupid? He thought to himself. Leaving his journal there was just about the foolish thing he could have done. The good news was he hadn't been arrested yet meaning she hadn't told anyone. Maybe she didn't know it was him.

Arthur had to admit that it felt good to put those rich Wayne dicks in their place. They had touched her, they were the ones who crossed the line. Yes, he wished it didn’t end the way it did but it was a good thing those assholes are off the streets.

He had watched the new stations to see if there were any reports on it and wasn’t surprised when he saw the local station all over it. They would describe the men as heroes, describing the scene as a blood bath. Lucky they still didn’t have any leads.

He could feel his anger grow but it was slightly put to rest when he heard a gentle knock at the door. He gave a quick glance over at his mother who was passed out cold in her usual spot on the love seat. She must of not heard anything because she continued to breath softly with her eyes shut.

Arthur got up and quickly came to the door, moving multiple locks and swung it open. He came to meet the weary brown eyes of none other than his sweet girl Elena.

She must of not expected him to be dressed in nothing but light blue pants and socks because she pause for a moment. She began looking him up and down, taking in deep breaths before opening her mouth.

"Umm, can we talk?" She said, trying to sound stern but nothing came through but a shaky voice.

Arthur stood there, not knowing what to do exactly. He didn't expect her to just show up and demand to talk to him. How did she even know which apartment was his? He stared at her while he tried to gather his words. He knew what was probably going to come.

"O-of c-course." He forced out as he moved to the side to let her in. She kept her head down as she walked past him. Arthur closed the door behind her, watching her every move as she started to examine the apartment, stopping when she saw his sleeping mother.

"Oh." She whispered, "I didn't realize we would have company. I thought you lived alone." She turned to him as he started to push his hand through his hair, looking down at the floor in embarrassment.

"I-its only temporary. S-she's very s-sick a-and needs a lot of care for right now." He shook his head back and forth, not wanting to seem like some sort of fuck up. He could feel his throat starting to tense up as laughter threatened to break through. “I-I’m s-s-sorry.”

Even he didn’t know why he was apologizing but he just felt so terrible, he felt like he needed to make it up to her. He looked up at her when she let out a big sigh. She looked so heavenly with her glossy eyes looking at him so innocent like.

“Arthur, you don’t need to be afraid of me. I would never judge you.” She offered him a gentle smile. He didn’t know if she was joking or not. Why was she acting so kind towards him? His hope raised when he thought this thing could actually working out. It came crashing down when she continued to speak, pulling out his brown journal, placing it on the kitchen counter. “But we need to talk about this.”

Arthur closed his eyes, not wanting to go down this road with her but he knew he didn’t have a choice. So with a groan, Arthur sat down at the kitchen table. He hoped it was far enough away so they wouldn’t wake up his mother. Elena hesitated but followed Arthurs movements, joining him at the table.

Arthur grabbed a cigarette from the small cardboard box and sparked it up. He slowly took a drag of it before offering it her. He cautiously watched her as she hesitantly took it and brought it to her lips, taking a big inhale. He could tell she was nervous too. She would keep playing with her hands and her leg hadn’t stopped twitching since she had arrived.

He opened his mouth, “What do you wanna know sweetheart?” Her eyes focused in on his as she breathed the smoke out. She wasn’t used to being called sweetheart. It made her feel giddy inside like a teenager at prom.

She handed Arthur the cigarette before speaking. “Well to start, I wanna know what exactly these are.” Arthur watched as she opened up the journal to reveal the multiple photos of hers in various places. She held one up to him. “Did you take this?”

Arthur licked his lip as he searched for the right thing to say. He took a quick drag of the cigarette to give him more time, never leaving her eyes. “Yes, I did.”

Elena crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair, shaking her head in disbelief. “W-Why?” She looked so scared. He hated that he made her feel that way.

He took another drag of the cigarette before passing it to her once again. This time she didn’t seem that interested. Arthur let out some air before speaking to her in a defeated tone. “I-I never wanted to hurt you. I-I just don’t want to be so alone anymore. I want to be close to someone. Y-you’re so perfect.”

It honestly scared him to be so raw with her. She could easily shut him down but to his surprise she didn’t. She just stared at him, not really knowing what to say. She could honestly understand the aching desire to be needed by someone else. That didn’t make it excusable.

She decided it wasn’t time to turn soft. She needed to know everything. “How did you get those photos, Arthur?”

He took another hit of the cigarette. “I think you already know how.”

"By following me, right? How long has this been going on?” He could hear the anger in her voice. This isn’t good.

“I-I started after we first meet." He watched her eyes grow big.

That long? It had only been a few days but that didn't mean it push major boundaries for her.

"And last night?" Her eyebrows raised as she spoke. Swallowing hard she continues, “Was that you? Did you kill those men?”

She could feel herself starting to tremble just thinking of the events that occurred the night before. How could she have gotten into this mess with a complete stranger. They never even went on their first date. She began to doubt they would ever have a normal relationship. Well, if they would ever have one after all this.

She was pulled from her thoughts when Arthur started to ramble, “Y-yes I-I did.” He tried to study her expressions but her face didn’t change from the look of intimidation so he continued to try and make things right.

“They had their hands all over you. T-they w-would have hurt you. “ This time his voice started to get stronger and became more dominate. “If I-I wasn’t there, I don’t even want to know what they would have done to you.”

She knew he was right. Honestly, she probably would have ended up much worse. Elena looked down in shame. Once again, she was speechless.

“I-I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want.” Arthur spoke softly, not wanting to do any more damage.

Elena closed her eyes and shook her head. She opened her mouth to speak but only a few sounds came out. “I-I don’t know what I want.”

Elena was so confused. She couldn’t even understand all she was feeling but she knew it was a mix of fear, excitement and confusion.

Fear, because the man clearly had pent up anger that could be unleashed on anyone but who didn’t in this city.

Excitement, because she never really had someone who was this interested in her. Normally, men get turned off by single women who have certain responsibilities involving children in the 70′s. She could tell Arthur was different.

“I-I promise. I’ll do anything to make you feel better.” He wanted to reach out his hand to her. She looked so sad and confused. He just wanted to console her, tell her everything was going to be ok.

“I-I” She stuttered, not knowing how to get the words out. “I just need some time Arthur. This is a lot for me to handle.” Water started to pool up in her eyes.

It hit Arthur like a bus but at the same time he understood. He didn’t want to see her upset and he certainly didn’t want to give her space. He knew if it meant they would be together down the road than he was going to do whatever it took.

He simply stated, “I understand.”

Her eyes stayed locked on his, "No following. I need to be completely alone." She felt like she was going to burst into tears at any moment but she held herself together.

"Of course. D-do y-you know how long?" He wondered how long he would last before he would feel the need to follow her again in order to keep her safe of course.

She shook her head, looking down at the floor. "I don't know. A few days."

Ok, he can work with that. For now at least. Maybe this was a good thing. They could both focus on what they wanted but Arthur already knew what he wanted. He felt like she was already his. They belonged together, he just had to give her some space so she could see that.

With that he took one last hit of the cigarette before putting it out. Releasing a sharp breath, he stood up and offered her a hand. She looked uncertain if she could take it or not.

"Don't worry. I-I'll do as you say my love. Just know I'm one call away. I'll be here when you are ready." His voice was as soft as an angel. She wanted to believe him but she knew she would be looking behind her back everywhere she turned the next few days but she had to at least try to trust him.

Deciding not to dwell on it anymore, she offered him a fake smile and took his hand. He could tell it was fake but didn't say anything.

He was spot on when he wrote in his journal about how soft and small her hands would be wrapped around his. His hands were monsters compared to hers. He gave it a gentle squeeze and started to pull her towards the door. Honestly, he was taking this really well. She had no idea what to expect when she first walked in but this wasn't bad.

He opened it and letting her through, never let go of her hand as she turned around now on the outside of the apartment. He gently placed his other hand on her cheek, forcing her to look into his eyes. He was hesitant to make such a bold move but he just couldn't help himself.

He watched her reaction then gently began rubbing her cheek when she didn't protest. He could tell she was a little nervous. She was breathing heavily and placed her shaking hand on his bare chest. She probably never been touched like this. He slowly moved his face closer to her, closing the gap between their lips.

He stayed there for a moment. Connecting his lips with hers was almost intoxicating. He was scared if he moved his legs would give out. Elena must have felt the same way when she leaned into the kiss, not really being able to fight against him. Still, she didn't push him away after everything that had happened.

He gently released her from his grasp, allowing her to stand on her own. Her mouth slightly parted in shock as to what just happened yet still she found no words.

With a sinful smile, he repeated the same words that she had said to him when they first meet. "I'll be waiting for your call Elena. Have a good night."

He gave her a peck on the forehead before closing the door behind him. He's not gonna lie, he had no idea how he got away with that but it just went to further show that she was made for him and him only. He knew this, now he just had to wait.

#arthur fleck x you #arthur fleck x female reader #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck x y/n #arthur fleck #joker #joker 2019

22 notes · View notes

chyuans · 3 years

Text

hello , hello ! first of all , i’m super excited to be here even if i’m like 10 hrs LATE ( gmt timezone things ) i’m noe , a gay they / them at the age of 19 , and this privileged lil disappointment of a jock boy is gonna be filling the position of kong_01 . despite the rumours ? yuanjun’s actually not nearly as bad as some of the people he’ll be meeting here >:) but you’ll get to know more about that below ! if you’d like to plot just light up that HEART , or add me on disc*rd which i’ll give out in im’s , where i’m infinitely faster . if i’m not gaming . no tw’s under the cut .

* backstory. > many people know of yuanjun, but few people truly know him. he's the famous kong families’ son, heir to the kong legacy, now forward position for south korea men’s national hockey team - which brought forth a ton of international fame from back home and amongst hockey lovers worldwide. while his talent is undeniable, he is long overshadowed by his families’ accomplishments, forever reminded that he’d never be the perfect son they’d hoped for, and no one ever lets him forget it.

> being the child of business tycoons who’s art business seemed to never be on the decline, tended to lend itself to an unconventional, pretty lonely childhood.

> although jun no longer wants to dabble in the stupid shit he probably did as a teen, and escape from their home in a childish fit of rage and make the lives of the various nannies that tended to him while his parents were off being great hell, he still wonders sometimes whether this profession is what he would’ve wanted if he’d just not wanted to spite his parents. he loves hockey - that fact is undeniable. he thanks the nanny who took him there once out of necessity to stop his whining, and he fell in love with it almost instantly. but he also questions whether he gravitated to it because it was something he could throw himself into wholeheartedly to fill a void.

> he's very open to different types of people, and after being scouted at 19 and having a massive shift both in culture and identity as he then begun to travel worldwide, he’s a tiny bit more wordly now than he was back then. he's much more concerned about who you are underneath than superficial appearances, which means developing relationships are few and far between, because a lot of people do approach him because of his fame/fortune. he's unjudgemental to the point where his friends worry about his naivety and how easily he trusts people, but he's absolutely not dumb, just very well versed on telling good people from the bad.

> jun may even come across as naïve, but he's very aware of that perception is nearly important as reality. he's not extroverted in a way that demands conversation, but he knows how to talk to anyone from any background even if its just to maintain pleasantries. after competing in various competitions and versing players from canada to japan, he's become much more sharp and ambitious, a guy who very rarely lets distractions take their course. perhaps it’s with this that his family loathe his choices all the more, with his appetite, he was born with the skills required to run a business - pity he never took to anything of the creative sort.

> working in a fast, stressful, highly coveted job such as pro-sports is a full time job and then some; jun doesn't spend much time not working on it. outside of his schedule, he likes bettering his stamina at the gym and eating healthy. he likes being surrounded by authentic people or nobody at all. he’s not one for trying new things and having new experiences due to time management, tending to stick to a schedule.

> he gets a lot of bad press though, which is beginning to weigh a little heavy on him. doubly now the murder has people talking. from being accused of performance-enhancing pills, various personality scandals, to being linked with ‘dating’ (see: ruining the image of) idols and chaebol’s alike. right now, he’s currently battling a lot of unwanted publicity because of a misunderstood interaction online against a wealthy sweetheart that went sour.

> while jun might be generally unsympathetic and analytical when it comes to developing relationships with people that’ll last long-term, he's a bleeding heart when it comes to kids who may have experienced the same lonely upbringing as he did, without the financial gains. right now he spends sunday’s teaching a bunch of local foster home kids how to skate, and is trying to fund a couple of sports scholarships for those who show promise under a fake name, just generally being a good ‘ole guy.

> his family do not approve of his job, ofc. in fact neither of his parents have ever attended any of his matches to this day, and are only on semi-decent terms with him because jun begrudgingly is still tied by name to the business and shows his face at events for all of 30 minutes until he physically can no longer maintain pleasantries. his celebrity image perhaps is one thing they can manipulate, and even then, jun could get into scandals galore and still be doing his job. good press, bad press, it has the kong’s family name at the forefront of peoples’ minds, which always brings forth revenue.

> pros: could be a lot worse considering his upbringing, collected, and level-headed most of the time. wicked good at sports, and keeps a cool head in a tough situation. ambitious, curious, a little reckless. eager to prove himself, rich? and very endeared to people/places he finds fascinating. which are many. knows where the good, authentic chinese cuisine is. hardworking and very interested in the idea of Progress.

> cons: the most private person alive, will not divulge any palatable information about himself or his feelings. devil's advocate always. will put himself and others at an arm’s length the second he feels (disgusted noises) e-emotions (love, namely). gets bored easily. paranoid, leads with the head more than the heart. friends > > > family. a little self-involved, never fucking sleeps - will be that neighbour you can hear padding around above your apartment at 3.05 am like it’s mid-day, aaaaand Loves Winning Above All Else

* personality & relationships.

> like many others, jun has his fair share of surface-level friends. he’s quick to be interested in people, to get to know them better, but it's difficult for him to get closer than that after a childhood of being picked up and dropped by those who looked over him - which kinda has left him with abandonment issues.

> he’s a curator of neat things that aren’t too overtly complex, and that includes friendships. so if you have something unusual about you, whether it's a talent or a way of thinking, he would be inclined to get to know you better. also, he has a lot of leverage with his job. being friends with a sports star slash million dollar trust fund baby who can get you free shit never hurts, just don’t befriend him for the perks, yanno?

> jun is very dedicated to his vision of things, and can sometimes be very obstinate in the way he a) wants them to be done b) doesn't accept other options, think steve jobs. he's very mercurial and can be nice one minute but isn't afraid to switch to hardass boss to get things done and did. > he is insanely competitive and his strive is drawn out by always wanting to be on top. truly first child material. that's the kind of guy he is, with standards that do not reflect his passive side too well, which sometimes can get him into some “personality” scandals. he is driven, motivated, always looking for ways to be winning.

> i'm sure someone is bound to hate him, he’s probably got a few accounts online dedicated to a steady stream of shit-talking, given his cutthroat status or holding many hockey cups.

> jun doesn’t think too much about his sexuality - he'd probably best be labelled as pan, but leans towards those who identify as women? because of his current placement in a workspace, and with a cultural identity, that both don’t often lend themselves to lgbtq+ rights, i doubt he’d ever make that public.

> he works amongst some of the fittest people in the world, he knows how to appreciate beautiful bodies, but he's not about to discriminate. he's tragically a committaphobe and isn't interested in anything long-term right now, although i think it'd be funny if someone tried. he's very open for flings and one-night stands and even a friends with benefits sort of set up.

* wc’s. > bring me his baby bro and sis. i command u. i have many thoughts > somebody who maybe gets in on his foster-kid situation? idk maybe they have a perception of jun being what he is in the articles they read of him, but they see him and are like <3_<3 he actually real Nice huh. i see this being romantic but it could bloom a really nice, wholesome friendship too. > enemies. not gonna lie, he doesn’t vibe with rich kids w / a stick up their ass, especially since a lot of the people he works with aren’t from exorbitant families. people who loathe him for declining to take over his families’ business? like the boy can’t even name more than 3 artists off of the top of his head? > fwb except neither of them know what “just friends” mean. > i would love if jun had a confidante. a best friend, a partner in crime, a total bromance 'cause i can never get enough of those. whatever label you ‘wanna put on it. wiping up each other’s messes. maybe a Betrayal in the works > again, gonna be a wc, but i would love a “rival” of jun's on a similar level (or bigger) that’s entirely fabricated based off of trashy articles or a misunderstood interaction online. bonus points if they’re an absolute sweetheart, well loved by most people, and generally the antithesis of jun with his multiple drug/personality rumours, which in contrast, make him seem like the bad guy.

> party buddy. this guy hasn’t touched alcohol/cigarettes/any other stimulants since he was underage and wanted to rebel. the word “relax” does not exist in his vocabulary. Help

#cheong.intro

3 notes · View notes

summernightskyy · 4 years

Text

My Top 5 The 100 Women

Got tagged by @nomattertheoceans to do this! Thanks so much Lisa!! This took me forever to finally finish. (Can I just mention how hard this was for me though?!? I almost feel like it would have been easier for me to do my top 5 The 100 men - there’s so many amazing women on this show, but I also have had conflicting feelings for most of them at certain times lmao)

1. Clarke Griffin

Why was it so hard to find a gif of Clarke w/o Bellamy or Lexa, let Clarke shine on her own D:

I honestly really struggled over whether to put Clarke or Raven in my number one spot, but I ended up going with Clarke for a couple reasons. One of the things I’ve always loved about Clarke from the start is her tenacity - the girl literally never stops fighting. And yes, literally every single woman on this list is a fighter, but not all of them have had to make the tough calls that Clarke has with the consistency in which she’s been forced to make them. Does she always make the right choice? No, but I do believe that the choices she’s made have almost always been with good intentions. Even when she ended up making ruthless decisions that ended in many people’s deaths, I can’t think of a time where she didn’t try another more peaceful way first. She’s been willing to sacrifice her own happiness and mental well-being for the good of her people time and time again, and I see in her a mental fortitude that’s almost unparalleled. The other reason I ended up placing Clarke in my top spot is because of the representation she brings to the show, and that representation ended up meaning a lot to me. Finding a show with a Bi lead is hard enough even today, but in 2015? It was groundbreaking. While I’m still coming to terms with my sexuality, I think the teenage girl that I was watching The 100 back then needed to see that kind of representation; I genuinely believe that Clarke definitely helped me subconsciously start processing the fact that I might not be straight. She’s far from perfect, but I do think she’s a good person. I honestly think she deserves a lot more love than she gets from the fandom. That’s why Clarke Griffin is not only the first Bisexual lead on network television, sorry Sara Lance, Clarke did it first XD but also the first on this list.

(Also yes, I chose this gif of Clarke for a reason; the bi flag has the best colors, tell me I’m wrong ;)

2. Raven Reyes

I’ve loved Raven from the first second she appeared on my TV screen. How could you not? She’s smart as a whip, confident, and a literal rocket scientist. Raven Reyes is quite literally exactly who I would’ve liked to have grown up to be like in another world. She can fix almost anything. She’s a genius. She’s pretty much an astronaut. She’s spacewalked - that’s the stuff of dreams for me. Yes, there have been times over the course of the series where she’s annoyed me, but there’s always been more to like about her than not. She’s up there with Clarke when it comes to mental fortitude and determination - not even leg injuries and seizures can stop her. She’s always been a super intriguing character, and I’m honestly not sure where this show would be without her. And the cherry on top of all that is that she’s beautiful, and amazing representation as well.

3. Octavia Blake

At one point, Octavia would have definitely been my number one spot. At other points, she wouldn’t have been on this list at all, but I’m learning to appreciate her character again - and there’s a lot to appreciate. At the start of the show, Octavia was my favorite character. I loved getting to see her actually get to experience the world around her for the first time. She was headstrong, bold, beautiful, open-minded and kind. My journey with Octavia has hit some bumps along the way, I won’t lie. Her brother quickly ended up displacing her as my favorite character on the show, and while their relationship was unhealthy on both ends (through no fault of either of them - looking at you, Aurora), I wasn’t a fan of her taking Lincoln’s death out on him and the way she began to mistreat other people as well. I was afraid none of that would ever be addressed, and while I was beginning to enjoy her character a lot more already, I can enjoy it even more so now that it has. It was so fun watching her develop into the amazing, badass warrior she is now.

4. Emori Kom Spacekru

Honestly, if Emori had gotten more screen time over the course of the series, I’m almost certain she would be higher up on this list. My heart really bleeds for her, being cast out by her family like she was for something as trivial as a birth defect. I love how she worked so hard to get the Children of Gabriel reunited with their families, even if it didn’t turn out as well as she intended it to. I love the way she consistently stepped into danger and exerted influence as Kaylee Prime to try and help attain peace. One thing that I also really admire about Emori is the way she threw herself into learning from Raven during her time on the Ring. She’s such a boss and I was so happy when she successfully got Spacekru back down to earth in season 5! I’ve been super stressed over her well being, and I really want to see her (and everyone else on this list - but I’m most worried about her and Indra) make it to the end of the series alive.

5. Indra Kom Trikru

So, fifth place was insanely difficult for me to decide on, not gonna lie. I considered putting Lexa, Charmaine Diyoza, and even Callie and Hope (ultimately decided I haven’t seen enough of either character to justifiably put either of them up here over Indra). Honestly, if I had published this a couple weeks ago, Lexa probably would be in fifth place on this list. But after seeing 7x10, I ultimately decided to put Indra. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Indra mentioned to Sheidheda earlier in the season that she thought the fact that her mother was weak for having kneeled to him (even though it was to protect her). She’s very much a tough love and even somewhat cold person. That being said, I was amazed to see her do just what her mother did to protect Madi, even though I’m sure she would have fought to the death if Madi’s life wasn’t endangered. She has a very harsh exterior, but when she cares for someone - she cares for them. I really hope that before the end of this series we get to see her interact with Gaia and Octavia again. (Speaking of, where the heck is Gaia?!?)

I don’t really know if anyone I know on here that’s still active watches the 100, but if you see this and end up doing your own, please tag me! I’d love to see other people’s lists.

#the 100 #the 100 spoilers #top 5 the 100 women #clarke griffin #raven reyes #octavia blake #emori kom spacekru #indra kom trikru #i have a major crush on lindsey morgan #can you tell?#i mean #everyone on this list is gorgeous #but she marie and luisa are super stunning in particular

16 notes · View notes

adamsvanrhijn · 4 years

Note

i wish thomas had gone à la gay discothèque earlier in the series... imagine s1 thomas doing the grizzly bear WITH A BIG BEEFY BEAR 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I love when people send me asks like this. God. Thank u anon; ur wonderful; I vibe w/ u, but I did the thing I do where I take concepts way too seriously so here’s some rambling

Would Thomas be into bears? What’s Thomas’s type. I feel like s1 Thomas in a working-middle class gay bar would be a very different experience than the one he has in 1927. I think he had too big of a head perhaps? Especially if this is like, pres1...he’s definitely lonely as fuck then, but he’s not in the depression that I think realistically (if we’re viewing the characters as people, which I tend to do) Thomas is still battling by the time of the film

in the 1910s he’s aiming pretty high as far as lovers are concerned & while we know he had ~Friends And Accomplices~~ outside of Downton right up until like the end of s2 (big sad. the word of God reasoning for everything there on As We Know is that he needed to be stuck at Downton because he was an audience fav but that has Implications for what happens in universe to like, his entire social circle/his connections...) I can see him hitting some roadblocks there? for one thing I think he has a bit of a I’m The Right Kind Of Queer complex in addition to his entire.... class-based.... ideology & processing of the hierarchy he lives in, frankly I don’t think he’d even necessarily have close relationships w/ servants who served Undistinguished Families? And being a servant of a great house puts you in a weird position as far as the broader working community is concerned because on the one hand. you’re a servant. so you’re on the bottom rung of the ladder. On the other hand you’re a servant to the Earl of Grantham and you’re a footman so like 50% of your job is looking nice & you don’t have to get your hands dirty the way, say, a carriage builder might.... but the carriage builder doesn’t spend his entire day saying “yes milord” either so like. Dynamics. This to say I don’t think he’d feel a lot of solidarity necessarily with other working people in a concrete let’s-break-bread-and-dance-together sense, although by the end of s2 he’s met a lot of people and done a lot of things and this has obviously changed him greatly and he really starts to express himself in more concrete ways politically than, being well read and up to date and wanting to have any semblance of a voice in his life/how things are done.

So I think s1 Thomas would consider himself too good to go to a gay bar as we see one in the film. Basically. I do not doubt for a second that Thomas got to be arm candy in very different kinds of gay establishments in like, 1910-1914.

This is actually one of my Things with the movie dialogue - places as shown were extremely rare & like, did not exist anywhere near Downton. Like to my recollection/my impression is they based it off of certain parts of the 1920s-1950s gay scene in London, and even then they took some liberties by having middle class and working class men in such close quarters as they were. It is completely reasonable that Thomas could have at times in his life frequented queer hangout spots that did not look ~~~anything like~ the one in the film. It is also completely reasonable that he didn’t, because the gay community in this time period did not orbit the local gay bar as was often the case in communities in the UK & North America later in the century when raiding calmed down.

And the next step from there is that he’s never had a Let’s Sit Down And Talk About Our Gay Selves moment with anybody possibly at all, and likely not with anyone who is in a position equivalent to his (especially post war when the number of men in service was going down): gay, servant, working class.* I think also he’s probably seeing Richard as like, not only those things are true, not only do they have similar work experiences and class backgrounds, but in his point of view Richard may also be the same kind of gay man as him, specifically, not just “a gay man” because like, no shit Thomas has met gay men, and for Thomas, who puts a lot of stock in what others think of him and how he comes off wrt his masculinity, I think that’s probably very important? I think he knows that the people around him have a certain idea of what gay men are like, and he doesn’t want to fit that idea, but he also wants to exist as himself and connect with people... but he’s not really given that opportunity. But Random Lady’s Maid #14 is not going to take one look at Mr Ellis and clock him as gay, and I think that is perhaps part of what is going on.

Anyway the thing I was getting at was I think 1914-1916 Thomas would be much more likely to be found in a gay bar à la what we get in the movie, and also, multiple historical accounts of soldiers dancing together just because there weren’t women around, so if someone really wanted they could probably come up with a canon compliant idea there! Or they could just not be canon compliant it’s fandom it is what it is.

* He’s definitely met gay servants before but I think before the war especially he would not be gunning for a deeply personal conversation about his life/sexuality/experiences which I think is what is happening in that scene in the film... “just talked”... making a gay friend and vibing on that very specific level vis à vis just knowing someone gay and when the families you work for are in the same place you lookout for each other while you’re giving the earl of whoever the fuck a blowjob.

#thomas barrow posting tag

13 notes · View notes

mrs-hollandstan · 5 years

Text

Inheritance || Rich Kid! Tom Holland

Warnings: brief sexual content (fingering, handjob, oral- male and female recieving-), one very brief joke of prostitution, language, suggestive comments throughout, jetlag, emotional messsssss at the end, nudity mentioned, alcohol mention

Word Count: 7,205

Author's Note: I did NOT expect 7,000 words but here part two is to Filthy Rich which is still super popular on my page and my most popular fic I've written. I hope this second part gets just as much requisition and lemme know what ya think!

My Masterlist || Read Filthy Rich (part one) || Add yourself to one of my taglists

You'd met Tom's father a number of times. Sometimes when Tom was chasing you through one of their many mansions, you'd nearly run into him, stopping with a gasp before Tom came to a skidding halt behind you, bumping you the smallest bit towards a man in a crisp, Canali, Prince of Wales Siena suit, wearing a smirk before his son introduces him to the new blood standing before him like a deer caught in headlights. There were other times Tom had brought you to a family dinner where you ate a number of foods you could never buy in your lifetime, served by women in their thirties and forties that, despite the sweatshop Cinderella vibe, still probably made WAY more than you, even on a good day at the country club. Each time you'd come into contact with Tom's family, he loved hearing you talk about how... Addam's family they all were as he finished up his nightly routine. Cold, but welcoming stares. Seemingly forced smiles. Computer generated questions. But then again, who could blame them? Each time they met you, the way you dressed, the perfumes and jewelry you wore SCREAMED broke college student. All while each of them, even the youngest, at fourteen, was practically a hedge fund manager and had their own continent.

But Tom's father seemed most invested in your experiences in the short twenty two years you'd been alive. It was in part, as Tom had explained, that his father had also been born into wealth, Dom's own father a very rich man selling aged alcohol to other wealthy men. Tom claimed that his father was interested in what it was like to not be spoiled, as he put it. He wondered what it'd be like to come from a time where you didn't have money, which he believed, in the most respectful way, to be your life. And of course he was right. You knew what it was like to not have the money to pay the electric bill. You knew what it was like to have to sit in the dark and eat cup noodle in the cold. But Tom would never let that happen again.

Dom insisted on Tom giving you all the privileges he and his son were raised on while you were involved with the family so you could see for yourself what it was like. He loved watching you waltz into his front door with a fresh manicure and possible new hair color along with any dress, perfume, or jewelry Tom might have spoiled you with. He knew that in the beginning of your relationship, you didn't enjoy anything being bought for you. But the longer it went on, the more Tom bought and the less you wasted your breath scolding him.

And as far as Dom could tell, when the three of you walked onto a plane the afternoon you left for Seychelles, Tom was still showering you in expensive gifts. You'd wondered as you wandered amongst the tourists and locals coming in and leaving the crowded airport why you weren't being boarded, just the three of you on one of Dom's private jets. Not that you minded, but the looks you got made you feel vulnerable. The looks of the people that passed made your heart pound in your ears. Like you were part of a circus. Like you were a leper.

"Tommy?" His hand meets your back over the black sleeveless midi sweetheart neckline party dress that clings to your hips and has Tom hanging behind you to stare at your ass just like he likes, completely unaware to everyone's stares or distasteful looks, or the unwavering, nagging feeling you have,

"Yeah babe?" You swallow, glancing over at him,

"W-why didn't we take a private jet? These people... they see us together and they surely think-"

"You're a prostitute? Yeah... I get those vibes too." He shrugs playfully, chuckling when you reach back to swat his chest. Rubbing his thumb along the hollow of your back, he sighs,

"Dad assumed that with all the riches we've invested on you, you might want to take a commercial plane. So its a... a sort of pity thing if you will. He doesn't mind it really. It's like a people watching experience for him." Glancing over his shoulder, you follow his eyes to Dom's face, neck bent to look down at his phone,

"Emails, ya know?" You nod, glancing around at the other people,

"If I'd known I'd get these looks... I would've allowed you to drag me kicking and screaming onto a private jet." He chuckled,

"Now you know what it feels like. That first time you met me and that first time you screamed at me that I was a stupid ass little rich kid... this is what it feels like." Slipping his hand down to just before the shelf of your bottom, he clears his throat, looking around you as if someone would be listening,

"Side note... I love when you kick and scream." You click your tongue,

"Quit it. We're in a public place." He huffs,

"When has that ever stopped us? We're willing and able to join the mile high club once we're on board." You glance over your shoulder at his father again who, taking a break from his phone, gives an unknowing, innocent smile. You return it before finding Tom's dark chocolate colored eyes, your cheeks burning like smoldering embers,

"Don't do this to me now." He chuckles,

"When you look this amazing darling... I can't keep my thoughts off of you. If you were in my shoes, the throbbing in my jeans right now would be disgustingly uncomfortable given you don't know how to harness it." You giggle before his shoulder nudges yours and you focus on getting to the correct gate to board your flight.

Once you board and are waltzing through the first class seats, Tom can't keep his eyes off your bottom. The way it looks as you twist and turn to find the right seat number is driving him wild and the way images of you on your back with the splashes of his cum on your thighs and stomach you allowed him to take a few days ago, the same night as the country club experience has his heart skipping a beat. He's pulled from his thoughts when you turn,

"Here we are. How do we uhh... how do we wanna sit." Tom opens his mouth to speak,

"You two can take the window seats, seeing the sight for the umpteenth time might make me sick." Dom replies through a chuckle. Tom's mouth closes when your eyes flick to his and then down to his lips. He swallows and nods,

"Yeah... what he said." Giving a curt nod, you opt for the window seat, watching Tom stow your bags away with guilt ridden eyes. He smiles as he sits in the window seat opposite you, Dom slumping into the seat a few inches from your own, as far from a window as he can be. When he pulls his phone from his pocket again, Tom licks his lips,

"I feel so far from you." You smile when he hides his hand besides him and moves it to the side, gesturing for you to spread your legs to give him SOMETHING. You give a sly smirk before uncrossing your legs and spreading them just the smallest bit until you know your underwear are showing. He quietly squeaks, his eyes cutting to his father when he spots the black silk stuck to your skin,

"I know, but even if you were sitting in your dad's spot, it wouldn't help. We'd still be apart." Tom nodded, glancing up again when his father raised his head for a brief moment at the mention of his title, eyes unmoving from small screen in his hand. He gives a smile before his head returns to it's original place. Tom swallows, closing his eyes when you cross your legs as more people board the plane. He shakes his head of naughty thoughts, staring out the window until the pilot announces takeoff. Your eyes wander his body, lingering too long on the bulge in his jeans that only you know is there. And its inflicted by you. Nearly twenty minutes in, Tom glances up when you stand,

"Show me the bathroom babe? You can get a drink." When you wink, he nods and takes your welcoming, outstretched hand. Turning to Dom, he smiles and Tom swears he knows the real reason you're asking him off,

"I'll bring you a beer." He mumbles, allowing himself to be drug off to the much larger bathroom than towards the back of the plane. He dips inside with you, his arms encircling your waist and his hands placed over your bottom as you hold his face and kiss him softly. He hums into you,

"Fuck... God you're perfect. I'll never, not love you in this dress baby." You clutch his shirt when he leans in to kiss and nip at your neck,

"No hickies just yet... not yet love." You murmur, feeling him attempt to bruise the underside of your jaw. You whimper and moan, his lips making your nipples harden beneath the polyester of your dress. He draws the thin strap of your dress from your shoulder,

"I didn't... I didn't bring a condom. My wallet's in my backpack." You shake your head,

"Let's just... I'll give you a handjob. You can finger me." He practically whines,

"But baby..."

"Fine, I'll blow you." Shrugging your dress off, Tom hums at the look of your bare breasts, reaching for them, his fingers following as you crouch to free him from his pants. When his cock springs free and you lick your lips, he hums, leaning down to press his lips to your own almost too gently,

"I don't think... I've ever loved someone like I love you." Gasping, you take hold of his length,

"Is THE Tom Holland... self-centered rich kid telling me he loves me more than himself?" He bites his lip, watching you stroke him,

"Ha ha, very funny." Licking at his tip, he licks his lips,

"Fine... you wanna be like that... no blow. Handjob is fine. I'll finger you. Make you scream my name so you know how much I love you." When you stand, stumbling in your heels, he kicks your legs apart gently. Sliding his hand between your thighs, he strokes your folds over the luxurious panties, watching you take your bottom lip between your teeth. Your eyes dart up when he leans in for another kiss. Swatting his hand away, you push your g-string down, letting it fall around your feet,

"We can't be here long. We gotta hurry." Wrapping your hand back around him, you stroke him a few rough times, moans slipping from his thin lips. He reaches out again, hand resuming its place between your thighs where two of his fingers slip into your soaked center, his thumb pressing and rubbing at your clit. The two of you moan together, eyes locking every so often. The more focused, the harder and faster you tug him, the more he speeds up. He can feel his orgasm building as you can yours. He presses down on your clit when you whimper, leaning in to press your lips to his clothed shoulder,

"Cum for me my pretty girl." He coaxes, fingers curling to stroke your g-spot. Your knees nearly give out, Tom rubbing your clit a little rougher. He glances down at you hand, bound tight around him,

"Baby... fuck that feels good." Laying your head against his shoulder, his fingers speed up just the little bit that you need, thumb stroking your clit as your body convulses. Your brain goes fuzzy, hand faltering as your orgasm tries to consume you. Tom crouches, cheeks squishing between your thighs as he sucks at your clit. Your head falls back, fingers threading through his unruly hair,

"Oh fuck... oh God Tom, that feels so good." You squeal, gripping the counter in one hand, your foot pressing into his thigh. He hums when you cover your mouth, moaning loudly into your palm as you cum. His eyes are locked on your face, loving the way your eyes are gently closed in pure bliss. He stands, licking his lips of your slick,

"So... fucking... gorgeous." You hum, glancing down at his throbbing cock. Reaching forward again, you give rough, quick strokes, watching his jaw clench. Pushing forward, he presses you to the counter, his cock trapped between you as you try to get him to his high. When he tips his head back again, you lean in, nipping at his neck,

"Baby..." He pants. You suck at his neck,

"Same goes for you..." he mutters, "you're not gonna let me leave marks on you, you're not allowed to leave marks on me." Taking hold of your hair, he gives a gentle tug, drawing you back to face him,

"Gonna cum for me handsome?" He nods, licking his lips again. Watching you crouch before him again, he grunts when you take him into your mouth. He gathers your hair, guiding you along until you're gagging,

"That's it baby... gonna let me cum in that pretty little mouth?" You make a noise, letting him know you'll allow him to. He cocks his head, reaching up to raise his t-shirt over his stomach before you feel his cum coat your tongue,

"Fuckkkkk that's good." He quietly speaks through a shaky voice. Swallowing all he offers, you draw back, pulling his boxers back up to cover him. Pulling his jeans up next, you zip and button them, picking your dress up from the floor. He smiles, leaning down to pick your underwear up,

"That was good. That was uh... you're amazing." Smiling back you slide the straps of your dress up over your shoulders,

"Yeah? Satisfied?" He nods,

"More or less." You click your tongue, snatching the thong back from him,

"You loved it. Don't think I've ever gotten you to cum that fast." He leans in, pressing a kiss to your rosey cheek as you slip back into the material,

"You're amazing darling. Absolutely amazing." Reaching up to stroke his own cheek, you smile warmly,

"Thank you baby. Can't be amazing without you by my side." He smiles back, leaving down to kiss the tip of your nose,

"Let's get back out there... get some drinks." You nod and follow him, the bartender eyeing the both of you as you order two beers and a margarita, eyes cutting to you as he verifies both of your ID's. Tom grumbles, scowling as you walk back,

"What are you suddenly pissy about?" You quiz, cherry at the drink in your hand. He shakes his head,

"He was eye fucking you. You're wearin all this stuff I've bought you, I'm standing right beside you and he wants to do is put you behind the bar on your knees for him."

"Tom-"

"No, I know, keep my voice down. Heaven forbid someone hear me talk about how good your mouth is." He gives a playful smile, handing a beer to his father as you approach your seats again. He helps you sit, sitting across from you with a sigh and sipping from his beer. He eyes you, his heart fluttering at the intrigued look in your eye as you watch the ocean crash beneath the plane.

You really were a sight whether you wore these types of outfits he spoiled you with or just in sweatpants and your university sweatshirt. You were stunning and you were his. No matter what. He loved that fact and you reminded him of it every time you were laying in his bed or on the rare occasion he was in yours. You'd play with each other's hair and you'd reassure him you were thankful for him and in love with him over and over again. And he did the same to you. He wanted you to know how much he appreciated you giving him the chance he knew he didn't deserve. He'd toyed with so many girls around him that he was practically waving a red flag above his head. You'd been cautious in the beginning, but now here you were, his and he wasn't willing to give that up in any way, shape, or form. Not for the rest of his life if things went his way.

---

The eighteen hour flight from New York to Seychelles killed all three of you, you more than the men you accompanied. You were practically dragging your feet to baggage claim, and Tom was holding you up as you leaned against him, waiting for all three of your bags to make their way round.

"Almost done love. Then I'll get you up to the room and you can sleep it off." He cooed, kissing your forehead. You hummed, letting him hold you stable. He kissed your forehead, rubbing your back when your bag made its appearance, leading you out to a courtesy car and helping you into the backseat behind his father. When he climbs in beside you, he kisses the top of your head again as you lean in, head against his arm,

"I want to take you to dinner later. There's a really nice place I think you'll love." You nod sleepily, sighing in his expensive soap and cologne smell. He runs his fingers through your hair, glancing up when you pull to the curb of your hotel. He leads you through the lobby and up to the elevator after his father fetches the keys with a tug on your hand. Once in the room, he points you to the bedroom, letting you go and lay down while Dom runs Tom through the plans for the next few days in the doorway. When Tom returns, he sits beside you on the bed, running his hands across your bare shoulders. He sighs through his nose before leaning in to kiss your temple,

"Get some sleep love. I'll take you out when you wake up." When he goes to stand, you whine and reach back, taking hold of his forearm. He leans in,

"S'matter angel?" You open your eyes just slightly, staring up at him,

"I want out of this dress." His lips pull up in a smile, a chuckle ringing through the room,

"Aren't you too tired for it?" You groan,

"Not sex. I want your shirt." He hums, sliding the zipper of your dress down to expose your bare back. He helps you wrestle from it, licking his lips when he catches a glimpse of your breasts. He pulls his up over shoulders buttoning it swiftly and drawing the comforter back for you to lay under. He kisses your forehead, watching your lashes flutter,

"Goodnight love."

"Goodnight Tommy." You mumble, already half asleep.

When you wake again, it's the middle of the next day. You open your eyes and you swear you've died and gone to heaven. The view from the window wall before you is breathtaking. Few buildings are spread across the area, much shorter than the hotel you're staying in, before a beautiful, sandy beach with the most gorgeous blue water crashing against it is in sight. Standing on somewhat wobbly legs, you walk towards the window, staring out at the beautiful city below you. Your mind is blown and you wonder how you got so lucky to be able to see one of the most beautiful places ever, in person. The sky is clear and the water is just as clear and blue and the people that you can see down on the street, that look like ants, you know are beautiful. Your eyes water and your heartbeat is erratic as you stare down at the ocean, wondering how you were so blessed with the opportunities thrown your way. The door gently creaks open behind you before Tom makes a noise in his throat, opening it fully and stepping inside. He closes it behind him, walking towards you,

"Good... you're up." You make no moves, no noises, you don't say anything to him and the motion has Tom frowning. He stands right behind you, hand placed at your lower back. He moves his head to see your face,

"You okay?" You nod, blinking at the feel of him there. Peeling your eyes from the sight, you look to him,

"Tom its beautiful." He hums in his throat, glancing out at the scene before you,

"It really is huh? I think... I think you're more stunning than anything though. Even in my clothes with your hair a mess." Looking at him, he runs his thumb under your eye,

"My pretty girl." Leaning in, his lips cover yours in a heart stopping kiss and you've never been more happy than in this moment. The way Tom takes your breath away, the way he simultaneously stops and starts your heart, the way he makes your skin burn and tingle is intoxicating. When you reach up and hold his face, he swoops down, holding your thighs tight in his hands and lifting you off your feet. You bind your arms around his neck, his shirt bunched taunt around your hips. Carrying you through the door of the bedroom and out into the middle of the large sitting room, he sets you on your feet before rummaging through the both of your bags and finding the smaller navy blue one,

"Confiscated this because... with my luck, you'd get dressed yourself and I wouldn't get to watch." Clicking your tongue, you sit on his knee, watching him unzip your suitcase. He sorts through the number of dresses you've chosen to bring for the countless expensive dates Tom has planned. After all, your anniversary is coming up and you're on vacation. Why not use that time to celebrate when Tom is free of his father's business. Opting for an Alice and Olivia blue and white tiered high low dress, he draws it from the leather suitcase,

"The... restaurant I've chosen is quite formal and this is perfect. With those strappy heels you love." Smiling, you run your fingers through his unruly hair, leaning in to kiss his cheek, his eyes fluttering shut at the feeling. He sighs, glancing over, eyes lingering on where your breasts are hidden beneath the crisp button up you're wearing. He reaches up, swiftly undoing a button with one hand. Cocking his head when he can see your skin, he swallows,

"I wonder how I got so lucky with you. Everyday that I wake up beside you, or I come to your work to see you or take you out shopping I wonder how I can buy the whole world, yet I can't buy the love you give." His dark colored eyes find yours and he looks almost sad. Like he's losing you when you're right there. You lean in, kissing him,

"And I wonder what cruel god saddled me with you." His lips turn up, eyes fluttering again as you stroke his beautiful, soft curls from his face,

"Y'know... I can always tell when you use that gold flake conditioner stuff. You're always fluffy." He chuckles in his nose,

"Amber gel too. Run your fingers through and it keeps the shine all day." Threading your fingers through for just a moment, you draw back, standing from his lap and starting to unbutton the shirt. Tom licks his lips, leaning back against the velvet of the couch,

"I like where this is goin." Pulling the last button free of its hole, you smile, hair falling to shadow your face as you pull the two sides apart. Tom's eyes wander your body, ghosting past your underwear, before you drop the cotton on the floor. Climbing into his lap, his hand rests on your hip, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows,

"You are... so beautiful." Threading your fingers in his hair again, you give a gentle tug to guide his lips to yours. He kisses you soundly, hands sliding up your skin to press to your breasts. He hums, holding the skin in his hands as your lips dance together. Soon he's drawing back, hands still over your chest,

"I hate to cut this short but... our reservation is at five. You gotta get ready." You nod and kiss him one last time before standing and picking the dress up. Slipping it on, you reach under to draw your underwear down,

"No panties... or a new pair?" Tom licks his lips, slouching on the couch below him and watching the silk leave your skin,

"I uhh... I prefer the none... option but yeah, sure, whatever." He shrugs, watching you search through your bags to find where your underwear are stashed. And when you do, you slip into a black thong flashing Tom for just a moment. He licks his lips as you grab your makeup bag and glance over your shoulder,

"Just a little touch up." He nods and sighs, looking around himself,

"I'll be here." When you disappear into the bedroom, Tom swallows before finding the slacks and button up he planned for tonight, smoothing the dress pants down. By the time he's checking himself in the mirror and taking a deep breath, you're stepping back into the overly large living room, finding your heels and earrings. You slide into the heels before walking towards him, pushing your earrings through your earlobes,

"Now how is that fair? You confiscate my things to see me naked, but you get redressed while I'm gone." Tom chuckles, turning to you and smiling wider as you grab the collar of his deep v button up. Smoothing it down, you sigh and wrap your arms around his waist,

"Trust me, you'll see my dick later. Like I said... we can't get distracted. Our reservation's at five." Leaning in, he drags your hands in his own behind his back, lips falling over yours in a soft, mesmerizing kiss. When you pull back, you hum,

"You look amazing my love." He hums in return, pecking your lips once more before you tug your hands free, heels clicking as you strut away from him, Tom entranced in the way your hips involuntarily sway. You sigh, picking your phone up from the marble side table Tom plugged your phone in at. Glancing back at him, he fishes a suit jacket from the mess of suitcases on the floor, shrugging it on and walking towards you. When he's standing before you, he tucks his hands in his pockets and sighs,

"Ready?" You nod and tuck your phone in his pocket. He smiles, glancing down at your hand which he takes, giving it a squeeze. The smile you flash him is brighter than the sun, and he craves it for the rest of his life. You drag him behind you, turning to him in the elevator,

"I'm glad I came here with you. You're the most important person in my life and as... unnecessary as all of this," you gesture around to the gold plated elevator you ride in, "is, I'm just glad to be here. You feel like home." He clicks his tongue and pulls you in, an arm wrapped around your shoulders. You bind both arms around his torso, closing your eyes when he kisses your forehead. He let's his lips linger, smelling the strawberry shampoo he insisted on buying despite it being somewhat cheap, the few days leading up to you leaving for your trip. He swallows,

"You're home to me. I'm so in love with you and I just... I want you to be happy always."

"Wherever you are, I'm happiest." You quickly impose, looking up into those soft chocolate colored eyes. He smiles before his lips seal over yours, fingers gently stroking your cheek. He pulls back, the air having been sucked out of your lungs when the elevator dings and the doors glissade open. Tom takes your hand again, leading you out into the lobby you vaguely remember being sleepily drug through hours before. This time, you look around, finding all kinds of intricate portraits and paintings lining the large, open room.

"Oh Tom, this is amazing. It is so beautiful in here." He smiles, looking over your turned up face, eyes glistening in the chandelier light glowing above you. He chuckles in his throat,

"You think everything is so beautiful but you fail to realize that you're the most beautiful piece of artwork the world has to offer." Glancing up at him, his hand slips from yours and instead rounds your shoulder, arm draped around your neck. You smile, letting it turn into a giggle,

"Thomas Stanley Holland, king of the cheesiest pick up lines. And you know what... it's not even like the expensive cheese from like, France or Italy, its like sliced Kraft cheese from America." The cute little giggle he retains slips from his perfect, thin lips,

"Oh really?" You nod,

"The cheesiest." His smile widens, eyes cutting down to your lips for just a moment before he fishes the rental car keys from his pocket. Flashing you the key fob, your eyes make out the Chiron signature before he flips it in his palm to show you the Bugatti emblem you know so well per the long garage back home filled with cars that collect dust rather than being driven. When he'd explained to you the price of each car, you swore you swallowed your tongue, wondering how long it would've taken you to conjure up the 3.2 million he'd managed for just one supercar without even putting a dent in his inheritance from his father.

"Just got the new La Voiture Noire Bugatti but... I didn't get it in time from the Geneva Motor Show." He shrugs as if he dirtied something rather than bought a brand new car that were all sold before they were even pieced together in the factory. Tugging the handle on the sleek, black sportscar in front of you, you duck into the leather smelling vehicle, looking around yourself. The red and black interior is beautiful and rough, a brash contrast to your delicate blue and white dress you wear. But when Tom climbs in beside you, his slack nearly blend with the seat below him. He sighs, shifting to make himself comfortable before he clicks a button on the side of the fob, the branch of a key springing free. He sticks it in a slot in the dash before reaching to the steering wheel to press the button labeled 'engine'. He hums when the car purrs to life, reaching down to the shift paddle and putting it into drive. Running your hands across the leather center console, your hand lands in Tom's lap, him looking down at if after pulling from the curb,

"What do you think you would do for work if you had to?" He glances at you for just a moment before his eyes are back on the road as he drives through the road splitting the skyscrapers. He shrugs,

"Probably act. I dunno. I haven't thought about it much." Reaching down, he takes your hand in his, kissing the back of it, eyes averted to the road. You smile, watching him silently as he maneuvers the streets, pulling up in front of a restaurant on the beach before too long. After clambering from the car, he rushed around to your side, opening the door and holding his hand out. He helps you from the car, closing the door behind you and lacing your fingers,

"I figured we could walk on the beach after. The sun will be setting." You nod silently before he leads you inside. The staff is friendly and Tom sits across from you in the booth, your feet wrapping around his calves which he reacts to with a warm, happy smile. Once you've both looked over the menus and ordered, the conversation turns back to cheesy where Tom gushes about how perfect you are and how much he loves you. He takes both of your hands and rubs his thumbs over your knuckles, eyes averted to the table, only glancing up into yours every so often until your food arrives. After that, until you've finished and the waiter is inquiring about dessert, the communication between the both of you is minimal, nearly nonexistence. When the coconut and banana tart arrives, you and Tom share it, Tom telling you of when he first came to Seychelles at six and had the same dessert with his family. The smile on his face shows you it's a genuine memory full of love. Despite his parents handing him and his brothers everything, there is a lot of love that courses through the family and he loves not only his parents, but his brothers more than anything.

By the time dessert is over and Tom is paying for the meal, hiding the total beneath his palm and giggling along with you as you fight to see it, the restaurant is picking up and outside, the sky has turned from a bright blue to calm, pastel hues of purple, pink and orange as the sun sets beyond the horizon. Tom leads you out into the warm night, turning to you as you stand beside his rental car,

"Figured we'd just ditch our shoes. Rather than sinking into the sand and getting it everywhere." You nod, slipping your heels off as he undoes his own, sliding them and his socks off and setting them on the passenger side floorboard, he watches you do the same as he shrugs out of his jacket. Standing again, he closes up the car and takes your hand, both of your bare feet padding along the asphalt as you walk towards the beach. Once the sand meets you feet, you sigh and Tom chuckles, pulling you out towards water. You stand at the edge, mud slipping between your toes as the water crashes in, bubbling over your feet. You squeal and Tom cackles,

"Its cold!" You squawk, squeezing his hand. Tom chuckles, staring at you as water washed over you and your face sparkles as the remaining sunlight strikes the crystalline water. He swallows,

"Let's walk a little further down. There's a place down the beach where you can see in the valley." You nod and follow, binding your arm around Tom's waist, his own arm around your shoulders. He sighs as you stroll along,

"Are you enjoying your visit so far?" You nod, laying your head against his shoulder,

"Its gorgeous here. I've seen the sights ya know? London is beautiful and New York I'll always love and... those trips to Australia and Fiji were fantastic. It's a dream to be here... with you." When you look up at him, you both stop walking, Tom looking in your eyes and then down at your lips before he leans in, softly kissing you. His hand slips down to your chin, holding you to him for just a moment longer. When you pull back, a puff of warm breath fans out across Tom's own lips and he sighs,

"You're so perfect."

"You've said that a lot today." He chuckles once more and shrugs,

"It can only get annoying and repetitive if it isn't true. Which it isn't." Cocking an eyebrow at you, you click your tongue,

"But it is. I've got my issues and that makes me imperfect."

"Wrong. It makes you unique, which is perfect." Rubbing the middle of your back, he walks you along, stopping just where the thin neck of hills around the small bay connects it to the ocean. He turns you, hands rested on your arms. He sighs, resting his chin on your shoulder,

"Here's your sight. You think all of those other views are so stunning but here's the one that I've grown up on. My family and I ate at that restaurant, walked down this same beach, sat in this same spot time and time again. Its remained one of my favorite places, and that's why I wanted you to come with me. I wanted you, the most important person in my life, in one of the most beautiful places I remember from my childhood." Looking over at him, he gives a soft smile. You smile back, leaning in to kiss his nose,

"You're adorable." His hands disappear from your arms, head gone from your shoulder momentarily. You stare out at the crashing waves, watching them change color in the sun,

"It is beautiful. Living in New York most my life, the water is always cold and because it's so cloudy you don't see these sort of colors on the water. But you're more beautiful. I-" Turning, you find that your normally perky, tall and lanky boyfriend has crumbled to one knee. A ring that sparkles in all the colors on the ocean's currents sits in his fingers, his eyes looking between your own that hold tears already. He swallows,

"I brought you here because... I wanted to have you in one of my favorite places. I wanted to propose to you in the same spot I sat in as a kid with my family. I want to know that the woman that keeps me most grounded, the woman that I want to spend the rest of my spoiled life with, agreed to marry me in the most nostalgic memory I have. Y/N Y/L/N... will you make me the happiest man alive, give me that last part of my world, and marry me?" The tears are free flowing down your cheeks, the makeup he's bought you over the months and years holds true to waterproof and doesn't smudge as the tears roll down your cheeks. Your lungs constrict and you fight for air as you nod,

"Yes. Yes I'll marry you Tom." He doesn't waste a moment, sliding the Tiffany Novo, Pavé diamond, platinum band engagement ring on your finger before swooping you up, lifting you off your feet in a hug that takes your breath away. Your fingers thread through his hair as you sob, his arms tight around you. He let's out a breath, truly relieved you said yes. He loves you more than anything and the idea of you not saying yes scared him. But here you are, about to celebrate your three year anniversary as an engaged couple, in one of the most beautiful cities ever.

Tom never told his dad of his plan, never indulged on the secret of the ring that was hidden amongst his luggage. He desperately wanted to be cheesy and flash it in the Tiffany blue box, but it was too bulky and you'd notice. But the occasion was perfect. You had no idea and Tom was immensely proud of himself for not popping the question the number of times the urge came about. He was glad that it worked out perfectly and that he had you to stand by his side for the rest of his life now. As his wife. He leans in and kisses you cheek, setting you back on your feet. When he draws back, you lean further in to kiss him softly,

"Who knew?" You look around you, clearing the tears and Tom chuckles,

"Harrison. He isn't here. There aren't any pictures, no commemorative videos, it's just us. Just you and me to remember this moment. That's the way I wanted it." He reaches up to caress your cheek before you step forward to hug him properly,

"I love you so much Tom." He kisses the top of your head, wrapping his arms around you,

"I love you more angel. Forever now." Sighing. you listen to his erratic heartbeat, his fingers in your hair. A thought suddenly hits you and you stand straight with a gasp,

"Are you telling me I get to have my Pinterest dream wedding? Is that was this proposal means?" Tom's eyebrows furrow,

"I-I guess. I didn't know you had a wedding Pinterest board."

"What woman doesn't?" He smiles at the look on your face. When your eyes lock again, he sighs through his nose,

"You have no idea how relieved I am you said yes. Now I can sleep at night knowing that all that uncertainty, all the hate you have for me being spoiled isn't a worry. You're mine and nothing makes me happier." Tsking, you reach up and stroke his cheek,

"If there was any dislike of anything on my part, I wouldn't have stayed for almost four years. You're my life now and I can't imagine anything else. I want to sleep in the same bed as you and wear your shirts and walk around our house naked and make you breakfast and cuddle. I want to marry you, surrounded by our families and dance the fucking night away and have the most amazing honeymoon and someday, I wanna have your kids and have OUR family. There is no one... absolutely NO ONE I want to do this with more than you." Tears are running down both of your cheeks now, the sight of you in Tom's eyes clouded through the warm diamond like tears. You hold his cheeks, clearing his tears, his hands placed on your hips and his forehead rested against yours. He sniffles, opening his eyes again,

"I've known I wanted you since I picked you up for the day in the boutique. When you walked out of your front door and you looked so... normal. You felt like home. You were everything I craved. The normality, the pure, unpaid for love, the respect for just the small things in life. You're all I've ever needed and I just... I'm do glad that you're in my life. That you're mine." You stand in silence for a few moments longer, just holding each other. The only sound is the other person breathing, and the crash of the waves against the shore and the rocks not too far from you. Tom stands back, sniffling and pulling his phone from his pocket. You watch him, swallowing as he takes the hand that is weighed down with the fifty four thousand dollar engagement ring from Russia,

"What're you doing?" He sniffles once more,

"Calling my mum. She's been asking me when I'm going to do it and it's been eating at me because I haven't told her. Now I can." Holding the phone up to his ear after dialing his mother's number there's a pause as he holds your hand out, smoothing over the soft surface of the diamond decorating your hand,

"Hey mum." He speaks low, almost inaudible to you over the waves,

"Yeah, I have something to tell you." He sniffles and there's just one more pause before he spills everything,

"I proposed to Y/N... we're engaged." And your heart couldn't be happier watching his jaw tremble and more tears glisten in his eyes as he looks up, locking eyes with you for just a moment before he looks up at the sky. You'd officially gotten through to the spoiled rich kid's stone cold heart.

Permanent Taglist: @embrace-themagic @delicioustommy @spiderman-n @winters-beauty @smexylemony @lolabean1998 @musiclover1263

Tags of people I that showed the last part love & I feel would wanna read the second part: @thollandz @clairesrainbow @r0ger-tayl0r @marvelsperalta @empressdreams @cartiertom

#tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland imagines #tom holland x reader #tom holland x oc #tom holland x you #rich kid!tom #rich!tom #richkid!tom #richkid!tom holland #my writing #tom holland smut #rich kid tom #rich kid tom holland #tom Holland one-shot #tom holland x plus size reader #tom holland x poc reader

1K notes · View notes

artigas · 4 years

Note

hey i recently got into peaky blinders and have subsequently plummetted down the rabbithole that is tommy/alfie... but anyway i was browsing yr posts and you claim to have headcanons and opinions on bi!Tommy, and #1 u r completely correct and #2 SHARE YR FINDINGS W/THE CLASS!!! (plz plz plz)

Aw bomb! I’d love to! Make sure to check out my fic recommendations if you haven’t already. The list could do with some expanding ( @ultraballantine has a gorgeous boxer!alfie AU in the works and @bakedapplesauce has expanded upon her ‘verse only to somehow manage to make it even more perfect). As far as bi!Tommy goes, here are a few headcanons! (homophobia cw under the break)

Tommy’s bisexuality probably made itself known early, back when he was just a kid- I like to imagine that he was raised with Freddie, that he loved him in that ambiguous, unnamed way which teetered between something too difficult to define and the love of a best friend. Freddie was almost like a brother to Tommy except in the best ways he was not- their friendship was just as important, just as natural as the devotion Tommy felt for his brothers, but carried with it none of the anxiety, responsibility, or hang ups that Tommy’s relationship with Arthur and John sometimes entailed. Both of them traversed adolescence and hormones and the development of desire at the same time. They’d laugh until their voices grew hoarse, go swimming together, sleep outside in the grass all through the summer. Sometimes Tommy’s eyes and hands would linger. Freddie’s never did. When Tommy realized Freddie was in love with Ada and that love was never, ever going to wane, something … happened to Tommy he never wanted to investigate or dissect. Even through the war and after, when Freddie’s devotion to Ada never wavered, Tommy once suspected that if he could ever dig his way out of the bottomless apathy the war beat into him, he’d find an uncomfortable aching that’d hurt- hurt in real, tangible, terrible way Tommy had no right feeling in the first place.

When they were too young to know better, Tommy and Freddie joked about not wasting their time marrying girls when they liked each other so much better instead and John found the conversation hysterical the way really small children who are eavesdropping on something they’re too young to hear often do. He’d end up repeating it, letting it slip in front of their father that Tommy said something about boys that was really, really funny-sounding and things …. didn’t go well. Arthur warned John not to repeat it, but it didn’t do much good. None of them ever talk about the look on their father’s face when he caught onto what John was yammering on about. None of them ever talk about what happened after Arthur Sr. steam-lined to where the boys where, yanking Tommy by the arm, away from Freddie and out behind the stables. When John realized Tommy and Freddie stopped talking for the two weeks their father inexplicably spent at home- the longest he’d ever stay with his sons for the rest of their lives- he didn’t know how to apologize. He didn��t know what to do. Arthur tried to ease the tension and talk to Tommy about it, but Tommy explained he didn’t know what Arthur were talking about. Why the fuck was John acting so weird? That was the end of that.

That said, none of the Shelbys who matter have any real issue with Tommy liking other men. It catches them by surprise, maybe, when they learn that Tommy’s been seeing that strange gin-maker out of Camden Town but it makes sense, doesn’t it? It explains a lot. Romani culture can have some serious hang ups about shit like that, but they’ve never been ones to burden themselves too much with the more oppressive parts of their heritage- England fucks them over enough, the liberties of being Romani should be a balm, not a burden. Tommy’s still Tommy at the end of the day as far as Aunt Pol or any of the family are concerned.

That said, Ada is…supportive. Tommy would say too supporting, probably, by virtue of the fact that Ada actually, y’know, talks to him about things. (Secretly, Tommy feels some relief in knowing Ada’s made space for them to talk about his relationship with Alfie or other men in general. He won’t say it outright. The conversations they have are … well, pretty stunted and vague. But it’s more than he has with anyone else because Ada has always, always been his favorite)

Tommy has always been aware of his attraction to other men, but has always felt (for obvious reasons) more security expressing and exploring his interest in women. I love all interpretations, whether Tommy has indeed had experiences with men by the time he’s an adult or his attraction only ever stayed in the vague, unspoken hypothetical and never made itself manifest in experiences with other men, he’d have a wealth of experiences with women but would feel be a bit more lost at sea with other men. There’d be a lot more second-guessing, a lot more calculation versus the natural intuition he has with women.

That said, I think being with men would allow Tommy to explore different aspects of his sexual and romantic needs- I think the idea that he wouldn’t have to be as careful with another man as he would be with a woman or that he could be on the receiving end of someone who has a bit more force backing their ability to call the shots in bed would really strike a chord with him

(because, mind you, whether Tommy is with a woman or not, he’s never really topping anyone as far as sexual dynamics go lmao Grace was deffo calling the shots way back then and I think his sexual experiences with women he cares for are very bent towards giving versus taking, god bless)

so ….when Tommy finally hooks up with Alfie, he gets to explore his sub/bottom-ish ways to new lengths and whew boy, after the initial panic and drama and dancing around what they both want from each other? the relief! the thrill! the gift of being able to surrender in one goddamn are of his life!

When he’s with men, he sometimes misses women. He enjoys women. He genuinely loves their bodies, their features, the dynamic he falls into uniquely with women. It doesn’t mean his interest in men is any lesser or lacking- it’s just as good, but different. And when he’s broken through a lot of his internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality, I think Tommy would like that, would feel like his capacity for men and women and his experiences with both isn’t the source of shame he was somehow fooled into thinking it was. It’s … a good thing. And his life isn’t exactly teeming over with good things so he’d like to keep this, thank you very much, and make the best of it however he can. god gave him two hands for a reason lmao catch me outside with my queer ot3 tommy headcanons

#Anonymous #here's the mail it never fails #peaky blinders #SORRY ANON I REALLY RANTED #and i have a lot of left over thoughts too i'm so sorry ;;#homophobia cw #tommy x alfie #tommy x freddie #got big feelings about BOTH ships babey!

69 notes · View notes

star-anise · 5 years

Note

do you have any sources on the claims you made? im always willing to change my stance if you have legitimate backing for it haha

So first, I’m sorry for blowing up at you the way that I did. I’m not proud that I reacted in such a kneejerk, aggressive fashion. Thank you for being open to hearing what I have to say. I’m sorry for mistaking you for a TERF, and I’m sorry my response has caused other people to direct their own hostility towards you.

So, here’s the thing. “You can’t call bi women femmes” is pretty intrinsically a radfem thing to say, and I am deeply opposed to letting radfems tell me what to do. I’m trying to write this during a weekend packed with childcare and work. I’ll try to hit all the high notes.

The one thing I am having trouble finding is the longass post I talked about in my reply, that was a history of butch/femme relationships in lesbian bars, which had frequent biphobic asides and talked about “the lesbophobic myth of the bi-rejecting lesbian”; the friend who reblogged it without reading it thoroughly has deleted it, and I can’t find it on any of the tags she remembers looking at around that time. If anyone can find it, I’ll put up a link.

As far as possible, I’m linking to really widely accessible sources, because you shouldn’t intrinsically trust a random post on Tumblr as secret privileged knowledge. People have talked about this at length in reputable publications that your local library either has, or can get through interlibrary loan; you can look up any of the people here, read their work, and decide for yourself. This is a narrative of perspectives, and while I obviously have a perspective, many people disagree with me. At the end of the day, the only reason I need for calling bi women femmes is that You Are Not The Boss Of Me. There is no centralized authority on LGBT+ word usage, nor do I think there should be. Hopefully this post will give you a better sense of what the arguments are, and how to evaluate peoples’ claims in the future.

I looked up “butch” and “femme” with my library’s subscription to the Oxford English Dictionary because that’s where you find the most evidence of etymology and early use, and found:

“Femme” is the French word for “woman”. It’s been a loanword in English for about 200 years, and in the late 19th century in America it was just a slangy word for “women”, as in, “There were lots of femmes there for the boys to dance with”

“Butch” has been used in American English to mean a tough, masculine man since the late 19th century; in the 1930s and 1940s it came to apply to a short masculine haircut, and shortly thereafter, a woman who wore such a haircut. It’s still used as a nickname for masculine cis guys–my godfather’s name is Martin, but his family calls him Butch. By the 1960s in Britain, “butch” was slang for the penetrating partner of a pair of gay men.

Butch/femme as a dichotomy for women arose specifically in the American lesbian bar scene around, enh, about the 1940s, to enh, about the 1960s. Closet-keys has a pretty extensive butch/femme history reader. This scene was predominantly working-class women, and many spaces in it were predominantly for women of colour. This was a time when “lesbian” literally meant anyone who identified as a woman, and who was sexually or romantically interested in other women. A lot of the women in these spaces were closeted in the rest of their lives, and outside of their safe spaces, they had to dress normatively, were financially dependent on husbands, etc. Both modern lesbians, and modern bisexual women, can see themselves represented in this historical period.

These spaces cross-pollinated heavily with ball culture and drag culture, and were largely about working-class POC creating spaces where they could explore different gender expressions, gender as a construct and a performance, and engage in a variety of relationships. Butch/femme was a binary, but it worked as well as most binaries to do with sex and gender do, which is to say, it broke down a lot, despite the best efforts of people to enforce it. It became used by people of many different genders and orientations whose common denominator was the need for safety and discretion. “Butch” and “femme” were words with meanings, not owners.

Lesbianism as distinct from bisexuality comes from the second wave of feminism, which began in, enh, the 1960s, until about, enh, maybe the 1980s, maybe never by the way Tumblr is going. “Radical” feminism means not just that this is a new and more exciting form of feminism compared to the early 20th century suffrage movement; as one self-identified radfem professor of mine liked to tell us every single lecture, it shares an etymology with the word “root”, meaning that sex discrimination is at the root of all oppression.

Radical feminism blossomed among college-educated women, which also meant, predominantly white, middle- or upper-class women whose first sexual encounters with women happened at elite all-girls schools or universities. Most of these women broke open the field of “women’s studies” and the leading lights of radical feminism often achieved careers as prominent scholars and tenured professors.

Radical feminism established itself as counter to “The Patriarchy”, and one of the things many early radfems believed was, all men were the enemy. All men perpetuated patriarchy and were damaging to women. So the logical decision was for women to withdraw from men in all manner and circumstances–financially, legally, politically, socially, and sexually. “Political lesbianism” wasn’t united by its sexual desire for women; many of its members were asexual, or heterosexual women who decided to live celibate lives. This was because associating with men in any form was essentially aiding and abetting the enemy.

Look, I’ll just literally quote Wikipedia quoting an influential early lesbian separatist/radical feminist commune: “The Furies recommended that Lesbian Separatists relate “only (with) women who cut their ties to male privilege” and suggest that “as long as women still benefit from heterosexuality, receive its privileges and security, they will at some point have to betray their sisters, especially Lesbian sisters who do not receive those benefits”“

This cross-pollinated with the average experience of WLW undergraduates, who were attending school at a time when women weren’t expected to have academic careers; college for women was primarily seen as a place to meet eligible men to eventually marry. So there were definitely women who had relationships with other women, but then, partly due to the pressure of economic reality and heteronormativity, married men. This led to the phrase LUG, or “lesbian until graduation”, which is the kind of thing that still got flung at me in the 00s as an openly bisexual undergrad. Calling someone a LUG was basically an invitation to fight.

The assumption was that women who marry men when they’re 22, or women who don’t stay in the feminist academic sphere, end up betraying their ideals and failing to have solidarity with their sisters. Which seriously erases the many contributions of bi, het, and ace women to feminism and queer liberation. For one, I want to point to Brenda Howard, the bisexual woman who worked to turn Pride from the spontaneous riots in 1969 to the nationwide organized protests and parades that began in 1970 and continue to this day. She spent the majority of her life to a male partner, but that didn’t diminish her contribution to the LGBT+ community.

Lesbian separatists, and radical feminists, hated Butch/Femme terminology. They felt it was a replication of unnecessarily heteronormative ideals. Butch/femme existed in an LGBT+ context, where gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender people understood themselves to have more in common with each other than with, say, cis feminists who just hated men more than they loved women.

The other main stream of feminist thought at the time was Liberal Feminism, which was like, “What if we can change society without totally rejecting men?” and had prominent figures like Gloria Steinem, who ran Ms magazine. Even today, you’ll hear radfems railing against “libfems” and I’m like, my good women, liberal feminism got replaced thirty years ago. Please update your internal schema of “the enemy”

Lesbian separatism was… plagued by infighting. To maintain a “woman-only” space, they had to kick out trans women (thus, TERFs), women who slept with men (thus, biphobia), women who enjoyed kinky sex or pornography or engaged in sex work (thus, SWERFS) and they really struggled to raise their male children in a way that was… um… anti-oppressive. (I’m biased; I know people who were raised in lesbian separatist communes and did not have great childhoods.) At the same time, they had other members they very much wanted to keep, even though their behaviour deviated from the expected program, so you ended up with spectacles like Andrea Dworkin self-identifying as a lesbian despite being deeply in love with and married to a self-identified gay man for twenty years, despite beng famous for the theory that no woman could ever have consensual sex with a man, because all she could ever do was acquiesce to her own rape.

There’s a reason radical feminism stopped being a major part of the public discourse, and also a reason why it survives today: While its proponents became increasingly obsolete, they were respected scholars and tenured university professors. This meant people like Camille Paglia and Mary Daly, despite their transphobia and racism, were considered important people to read and guaranteed jobs educating young people who had probably just moved into a space where they could meet other LGBT people for the very first time. So a lot of modern LGBT people (including me) were educated by radical feminist professors or assigned radical feminist books to read in class.

The person I want to point to as a great exemplar is Alison Bechdel, a white woman who discovered she was a lesbian in college, was educated in the second-wave feminist tradition, but also identified as a butch and made art about the butch/femme dichotomy’s persistence and fluidity. You can see part of that tension in her comic; she knows the official lesbian establishment frowns on butch/femme divisions, but it’s relevant to her lived experience.

What actually replaced radical feminism was not liberal feminism, but intersectional feminism and the “Third Wave”. Black radical feminists, like Audre Lorde, bell hooks, and Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw, pointed out that many white radical feminists were ignoring race as a possible cause of oppression, and failing to notice how their experiences differed from Black womens’. Which led to a proliferation of feminists talking about other oppressions they faced: Disabled feminists, Latina feminists, queer feminists, working-class feminists. It became clear that even if you eliminated the gender binary from society, there was still a lot of bad shit that you had to unlearn–and also, a lot of oppression that still happened in lesbian separatist spaces.

I’ve talked before about how working in women-only second-wave spaces really destroyed my faith in them and reinforced my belief in intersectional feminism

Meanwhile, back in the broader queer community, “queer” stuck as a label because how people identified was really fluid. Part of it is that you learn by experience, and sometimes the only way to know if something works for you is to try it out, and part of it is that, as society changed, a lot more people became able to take on new identities without as much fear. So for example, you have people like Pat Califia, who identified as a lesbian in the 70s and 80s, found far more in common with gay leather daddies than sex-negative lesbians, and these days identifies as a bisexual trans man.

Another reason radical feminists hate the word “queer”, by the way, is queer theory, which wants to go beyond the concept of men oppressing women, or straights oppressing gays, but to question this entire system we’ve built, of sex, and gender, and orientation. It talks about “queering” things to mean “to deviate from heteronormativity” more than “to be homosexual”. A man who is married to a woman, who stays at home and raises their children while she works, is viewed as “queer” inasmuch as he deviates from heteronormativity, and is discriminated against for it.

So, I love queer theory, but I will agree that it can be infuriating to hear somebody say that as a single (cis het) man he is “queer” in the same way being a trans lesbian of colour is “queer”, and get very upset and precious about being told they’re not actually the same thing. I think that actually, “queer as a slur” originated as the kind of thing you want to scream when listening to too much academic bloviating, like, “This is a slur! Don’t reclaim it if it didn’t originally apply to you! It’s like poor white people trying to call themselves the n-word!” so you should make sure you are speaking about a group actually discriminated against before calling them “queer”. On the other hand, queer theory is where the theory of “toxic masculinity” came from and we realized that we don’t have to eliminate all men from the universe to reduce gender violence; if we actually pay attention to the pressures that make men so shitty, we can reduce or reverse-engineer them and encourage them to be better, less sexist, men.

But since radfems and queer theorists are basically mortal enemies in academia, radical feminists quite welcomed the “queer as a slur” phenomenon as a way to silence and exclude people they wanted silenced and excluded, because frankly until that came along they’ve been losing the culture wars.

This is kind of bad news for lesbians who just want to float off to a happy land of only loving women and not getting sexually harrassed by men. As it turns out, you can’t just turn on your lesbianism and opt out of living in society. Society will follow you wherever you go. If you want to end men saying gross things to lesbians, you can’t just defend lesbianism as meaning “don’t hit on me”; you have to end men saying gross things to all women, including bi and other queer women. And if you do want a lesbian-only space, you either have to accept that you will have to exclude and discriminate against some people, including members of your community whose identities or partners change in the future, or accept that the cost of not being a TERF and a biphobe is putting up with people in your space whose desires don’t always resemble yours.

Good god, this got extensive and I’ve been writing for two hours.

So here’s the other thing.

My girlfriend is a femme bi woman. She’s married to a man.

She’s also married to two women.

And dating a man.

And dating me (a woman).

When you throw monogamy out the window, it becomes EVEN MORE obvious that “being married to a man” does not exclude a woman from participation in the queer community as a queer woman, a woman whose presentation is relevant in WLW contexts. Like, this woman is in more relationships with women at the moment than some lesbians on this site have been in for their entire lives.

You can start out with really clear-cut ideas about “THIS is what my life is gonna be like” but then your best friend’s sexual orientation changes, or your lover starts to transition, and things in real life are so much messier than they look when you’re planning your future. It’s easy to be cruel, exclusionary, or dismissive to people you don’t know; it’s a lot harder when it’s people you have real relationships with.

And my married-to-a-man girlfriend? Uses “butch” and “femme” for reasons very relevant to her queerness and often fairly unique to femme bi women, like, “I was out with my husband and looking pretty femme, so I guess they didn’t clock me as a queer” or “I was the least butch person there, so they didn’t expect me to be the only one who uses power tools.” Being a femme bi woman is a lot about invisibility, which is worth talking about as a queer experience instead of being assumed to exclude us from the queer community.

#cherryhearrts #staranise original #answered asks #ranting in bisexual #lgbt discourse #terf shit #exclusionist shit #radfem shit #apologies to my girlfriend for not including carole queen in this post #she just didn't fit baby

1K notes · View notes

famous-aces · 5 years

Text

Nikola Tesla

Serbian American Inventor, Scientist, and Futurist

July 10, 1856 - January 7, 1943

Best known as one of most brilliant mechanical and electrical engineers in history, an extremely prolific inventor if also a bit of a weirdo (maybe a lot of one). His oddness (in part due to his sexlessness and germophobia) is part of the reason he was not as fondly remembered as his contemporaries until more recently. He was Thomas Edison's rival and superior in maybe everything aside from self-promotion. Invented the Alternating Current, the electric motor, a rotating magnetic field, the Tesla coil, what would become the radio, the remote control, early lasers and robotics, among hundreds of other patents some useful, some incredible, and some bizarre.

Probable orientation: aroace or gay ace (argument could be made for bi ace)

He wrote an entire article on why he wouldn't get married "Mr. Tesla Explains Why He Will Never Marry" (originally published on August 10, 1924). His reasoning then was deeply sexist ("...Felt Unworthy of Woman as She Used To Be, and Now He Can't Endure Her Trying to Outdo the Men") but it was 1924. And his reason for feeling like he had to say something is in the article as well. As the interviewer asserts "WHEN a man who has made a name for himself deliberately chooses to remain a bachelor the world is naturally curious to know what the reasons were that impelled him to this choice." So there is the fact that people were asking him why he wasn't doing "considered the natural thing for every normal man".

There is no evidence of his having romantic or sexual affairs with men or women, but had very close friendships with the former. A biographer (W. Bernard Carlson) points out that the affection Tesla showed toward other men was more acceptable in platonic relationships in Tesla's era. Although Tesla described the physical attractiveness of both men and women it seems to be what he was looking for was a platonic/intellectual connection rather than a sexual or romantic one. The thing he seemed to be looking for is an emotional connection, whether that is romantic or platonic can be debated.

I would argue he seemed wholly uninterested in romance and spurned all intimate physical contact. His lack of sexual interest in women and open declaration he would remain a bachelor caused rumors in the scientific community. He was said to be a voyeur in his lifetime because of his aversion to intimate contact, the idea that he might be entirely disinterested was seemingly not an option. No one had any proof he ever engaged in sex or romance so they assumed he must have been a voyeur. He had to have some kind of sexual urge as anything else would be unnatural.

And some quotes:

"I do not think there is any thrill that can go through the human heart like that felt by the inventor as he sees some creation of his brain unfolding to success, as he watches some crucial experiment prove that through months of waiting and hoping he has been in the right. Such emotions make a man forget food, sleep, friends, love, everything."

-Nikola Tesla, New York Herald interview from 1896 (clearly he is man with other things on his mind. Note he specifically says "love" on his list)

"I have never touched a woman. As a student, and while vacationing at my parents' home in Lika, I fell in love with one girl. She was tall, beautiful and had extraordinary understandable eyes."

- Nikola Tesla in an interview with a Serbian reporter in 1927, quoted by W. Bernard Carlson in his book Tesla: Inventor of the Electrical Age. Tesla Seems to be confusing romantic/sexual attraction with aesthetic or even platonic attraction ("understandable eyes" is a very interesting choice of words. He seems to want someone to relate to.). This kind of confusion is common among aroaces, I have found.

"You know it is a good thing that the institute is honoring Tesla in this way—it will go a long way toward diminishing his reputation for voyeurism which was embarrassing the older members. The stories of Tesla's sexual episodes were at one time the talk of the Institute. . ."

-Richard Sogge to Leland Anderson, 1956. Both of the American Institute of Electrical Engineers

[image description: image 1: a black-and-white photo of Nikola Tesla. He is a white man with very dark hair and mustache. He has full lips and thoughtful eyes.

Image 2: Tesla in his lab. He sits below a wildly sparking Tesla Coil, a wire cage vomiting wings of electricity, arcing strands going in nearly all directions. Tesla is far smaller than the coil and sits on a folding chair between the arcs. He is calmly reading a book like a badass]

#lgbtq #queer #nikola tesla #aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #gay #europe #serbian #scientists #19th century #20th century #history #american #inventors

153 notes · View notes

xthe-lone-fawnx · 4 years

Text

Meet the Muse | Maud Ember

**Follows back from @xking-of-the-cloudsx

Name: Maud Ember

Age: Unknown

Height: 5'0

Birthplace: Cotswolds, United Kingdom

Birthday: April 30th

Zodiac: Taurus

Sexuality: Open to whoever(masc-leaning)

Top/bottom/switch: General switch with anyone-sub leaning w/ men(or masculine muses), sub leaning w/ women(or feminine muses)

FC: Robin Skinner(Cavetown)

Likes/Interests/Hobbies: Nature, rainstorms, many flowers, long walks, books, wind in his hair, cuddling, hugging, tea, people who play with his ears and tail, late night talks, the stars, lots and lots of fluffy things, his animal friends, some strong smells, taking naps

Dislikes: Yelling, people talking down to him, rudeness, uncleanliness, distance from others, gas-lighting, bright lights, loud noises, alcohol, cigarettes, being forced to do something, cockiness, people with malicious intentions on anyone, people who want to remove nature for their own good

Family history: Maud was born in the depths of flower fields, along with his many siblings. However, his whole family was split when hunting season came about. Some of them ran into the woods, some of them kept running in a single direction, but he hid in the flower fields. Luckily, he wasn’t found, but he has no idea where the rest of his family went. They traveled too far, and some may have ended up in fatal situation. Him and his family were targeted specifically due to being part human, part deer. Why this happened, he couldn’t ask why. But the word got out, and the people hunting them wanted to do various tests on them to see if it could be replicated. Maud didn’t face this, and never has. He only knows about it when it first came to light, right before they were all split up. Not only were they part animal part human, but his family also held magical powers. He has yet to know the answer to this as well, and was forced to learn everything on his own. He lived in the flower fields all of his life, learning how to care for himself and not having any human interactions for a very long time. He wants to look for his family, but he’s worried that they have either been killed or held captive, so he’s slowly trying to learn that maybe it was for the better. He’s stayed as a fawn due to the lack of family and mates, something for his family that would help them grow up. What his fawn features look like now, is how they were right before his family split

Description: Maud lived alone for a very long time, until a group of people were looking through the fields one day in search of gathering flowers. He was extremely fearful and worried that they would take him, but they ended up becoming the best of friends. Though he still preferred to be alone, he was slowly introduced into the world of mortals, learning how they act, what they do, and just exploring a whole world he didn’t get to see for a very long time. Living in Cotswolds, he’s still very close to the place he was born and self raised. Because he’s been away from the world for so long, he has yet to have any relationships at all, sexual or romantic. He’s very curious however, though he doesn’t understand too much. He understands some because of his friends who talk to him about it and their experiences, though he hasn’t had any himself. Because of his passion for nature, he not only protects it, but he works for it. His friends introduced him to a local floral shop where he works, and now owns. A lot of the arrangements come from his own flower field, and many accessories and trinkets are handmade as well. However, being introduced into the human world wasn’t so easy. He was very shy and timid, and would fear talking to people. He would always wear hats and beanies, mostly to hide his small antlers and ears. As far as how the tail went...he couldn’t do much about that. He doesn’t have the ability to remove those, so they’re always visible one way or another. His friends helped him adjust, though he still gets very shy and timid. Because of his abilities, they would end up happening around him during these times, making him panic more. Flowers would grow around him, animals like squirrels would be called to him randomly, and he would end up mindlessly moving things around. Though he has a lack of sexual experiences, he still has that instinctual drive for it. He automatically assumes that new people will be his mate, especially is he’s interested in them one way or another. He tries controlling this drive, which made being in the human world much more difficult. He’d become more shy and timid, on top of how he already feels meeting new people. At the chance, he’s been known to try sleeping with someone he’s only just met, which this drive would be much less if he was able to mate much earlier. At this point, he’s tried accepting his overactive drive, though he’s had many moments where people reject him because of it. He’s not entirely sure why he would prefer men(or masculine muses) over women(or feminine muses), though he’s still open to both. Though he’s shy, he still tends to make the first move and has noticed that his motive to dominante others simply comes from his animalistic nature. Being male, for him it’s only natural. It isn’t always like this though, and would actually prefer the positions to be switched. Even with a bumpy road in the beginning, he’s gotten a better hold of his abilities and is able to blend in with his surroundings more. Though that sexual drive is still there, he’s learned to control that a bit more as well. Even though he now lives amongst humans, he still returns back to the flower fields. Knowing that’s where he was born and raised, he has a very strong drive to protect nature and everything around it. He spends a lot of the time caring for it and watching over it, and those who try ruining it he will simply punish them. He holds power over nature, and is very connected to it in many ways. Because he doesn’t have family, he saw it as his duty to protect it for them. However, it wasn’t always like that. He was lost and unsure of what his purpose was, even if he had mystical powers. Very early on, he met the Greek god Pan, where Pan granted Maud as the god of nature. Maud wandered into the forest after his family was split and he was on the search for them, where he followed the music played by Pan. Before Maud met his human friends, Pan was the only friend he really had, and the only person he knew. Pan also taught him how to fend for himself, and taught him how he can defend himself if he needed to. He was taught how to take care of himself, considering he didn’t have the family to teach him after that point.Pan taught him many things, such as how to play various instruments and figuring out the powers Maud had and teaching him how to use them. To this day, Pan and Maud are still very close, and Pan continues to teach him new abilities and powers

Abilities:

Aerona(the ability to see and understand all forms of illness)

Aligist(understand all languages)

Clairvoyance(see the unknown)

Enhanced hearing

Enhanced memory

Enhanced vision

Season manipulation

Botanokinesis(control plants)

Illusionist

Invisibility

Healer

Remote viewing(track things from afar)

Shape shifter

Strength

Speed

Stamina

Telekinesis

Telepathy

Teleportation

Weather control

Banishment

Localization

Protective charm

Sedation

Voice mimicry

Resurrection

Clairsentience(detect supernatural energy/see the history of an object)

Conjuration(create or remove things out of thin air)

Thermokinesis(temperature manipulation)

Animation

Aura perception

Pyrokinesis(create/manipulate fire)

Geokinesis(manipulate the earth)

Terrakinesis(control terrane)

Hydrokinesis(control water)

Cryokinesis(control ice)

Aerokinesis(control air)

Force field generation

Personality traits:

He’s very shy and timid

He gets nervous easily around new people

He likes making friends, he just has to get familiar with them first

He can be very sensitive and doesn’t really like talking about his family

He is very caring and friendly

He can get quite protective and defensive

He’s more playful than he is sarcastic

He tends to be quite emotional

He likes to be touched, but only by people he either trusts or is familiar with

He’s very sweet and kind

He has a pretty low temper

It takes him a bit to break with someone, but when he does he can become quite viscous

He’s honest, but not brutally honest

He can be a bit of a troublemaker at times

He can be quite impulsive

He tends to talk a lot with people he’s comfortable with

He can be a little handsy himself

He’s very curious and ambitious

He’s humorous

He’s definitely a lover

He tends to stay attached to people for quite some time

He prefers to be alone, but likes spending time with people as well

He gets excited rather quickly

He can get his feelings hurt just as quick

He forgives people easily, but will only forgive them once or twice

He can be very flirtatious and bold with people he’s interested in

He loves to explore

He can be a little oblivious at times

He can get irritated quickly, but doesn’t blow up or go into a full rage nearly at all

He’s very trustworthy and is a great secret keeper

He’s very loyal

He’s not very picky

Additional information/miscellaneous facts:

His ears, antlers, and tail are very sensitive

He has an extensive collection of little trinkets he’s found in forests and flower fields

He can be a little OCD at times

He loves spending time outside, especially during the spring and cool nights

He doesn’t like being used by others in one way or another

He hates when people call him weak or like he can’t do much

He has other interests outside of protecting nature-such as necromancy and wizardry

He doesn’t favor the winter time

He loves to sing, especially to others

He knows many other Greek gods/goddesses/creatures

He wants to travel the world one day

He likes when people compliment his accent, but doesn’t like when people only like him because of where he’s from

He keeps a necklace that his mother gave to him, which he never takes off

He likes collecting herbs, dried out flowers, and various other earthly trinkets

He has an obsession with books

When he’s shy, even his ears can go red despite being covered in fur

His eye color can change based off his mood or the weather

He can be quite quirky and has unusual habits(skin picking, playing with the necklace when nervous, playful behavior, twirling his hair, etc)

General tags:

🍄there's nothing quite like opening your eyes to nature's embrace | aesthetic

🍄are they just my memories forming into constellations in the sky | home

🍄 the sky's not falling down just yet so I think I'll sit right here with you if you'll let me | desires

🍄as selfish as it is, I need it for my health | florist

🍄i can be myself without explanation | musings

🍄we can talk here on the floor on the phone if you prefer | roleplay

🍄it doesn’t make you a narcissist to love yourself | self

Ship tag:

🍄sing me a song tell me your thoughts i could listen to you all night long | lovers

Other (side) blogs:

Zeus: @xking-of-the-godsx

Hera: @xqueen-of-the-godsx

Alessandra Galanis: @xi-dont-know-what-i-amx

Jaysen Gerasimos: @xking-of-the-overcloudsx

Griffin Saffi: @xthe-fortune-tellerx

Eve Gabriel: @xthe-corrupt-angelx

**Rules/notes from the mun apply just as they do on @xking-of-the-cloudsx

#maud ember #oc #original character #character description #rules #about #bio #tags #🍄there's nothing quite like opening your eyes to nature's embrace | aesthetic #🍄are they just my memories forming into constellations in the sky | home #🍄 the sky's not falling down just yet so I think I'll sit right here with you if you'll let me | desires #🍄as selfish as it is I need it for my health | florist #🍄i can be myself without explanation | musings #🍄we can talk here on the floor on the phone if you prefer | roleplay #🍄it doesn’t make you a narcissist to love yourself | self #🍄sing me a song tell me your thoughts i could listen to you all night long | lovers

3 notes · View notes

growingstronglikeahighgardenrose · 4 years

Text

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Pairings: Esther/Lord Babington Rating: E For the 12 Days of Sanditon hosted by @sanditoncreative (late entry). Prompt: Tidings of Comfort and Joy Synopsis: Follow up for “Stockings”. Esther and Lord Babington deserve some time alone after a busy couple of days attending Christmas festivities. Lord Babington seeks to provide his wife with some comfort, and she has some joy to bring to the table. For the 12 days of Sanditon challenge: prompt: tidings of comfort and joy. Available on AO3.

The holidays were definitely tidings of joy for Lord and Lady Babington. They got a lot of invitations for balls, dinners and luncheons. They loved each other, Babington loved his friends, and Esther enjoyed a warmer relationship with her aunt.

But there wasn’t so much comfort to be found between the cold carriage rides, long nights in tight slippers, and too large portions of food.

So, after they attended enough events so as not to disappoint Lord Babington’s many acquaintances in high society, they decided to take off the twenty-sixth of December. They would sleep in and refuse all visitors.

As had become habit, Esther had made her husband crazy with accidental touches under the table during dinner. And Lord Babington had made his wife warm during the freezing carriage ride in ways which might not be considered acceptable in polite society.

They greeted the only servant remaining up for them at the door, because Esther felt awkward having a maid to help her undress over two decades of not having one, and Lord Babington didn’t really need one.

So it was in a completely empty hallway upstairs that his wife looked over her shoulder right before entering her room, and pulled off her gloves in a far too obscene way for someone who’d been a maid no six months prior.

He tore at his clothes and threw them on a chair in a way that had, by now, become habit.

Still, despite his rush, he still entered a completely dark bedroom. Not a single candle was burning.

How on earth had she been quicker than him? He always managed to be fast enough so he could help her undress. Usually, she’d only taken out her pins by the time he entered her bedroom.

‘You can lie down’, he heard her voice call.

As always, he followed her advice blindly.

Minutes passed in absolute silence. He knew not what signal to wait for, until he heard a shuffle.

He turned towards the sound. The heavy curtains were drawn open to let in the moonlight, though the light curtains still made it impossible for anyone to look into the dark room.

The contour of Esther’s bare silhouette brought him to a sitting position.

At her feet, near the comfortable reading chair, lay a quilt.

She had something planned.

‘Come.’

She didn’t even question whether he was watching. She just ordered her, and he came to her within seconds.

‘Sit.’

She pushed him down in the chair as she took place behind him. Her slim fingers crept into his hair and started massaging his scalp.

‘My sweet Lord B, you must be tired of these long days as well, aren’t you?’

Just as he wanted to answer, she gently pulled on his hair.

Her hot lips dragged down his neck.

‘I haven’t yet decided on how to deal with you tonight. It’s a problem I frequently have’, Esther breathed before she bit down in his neck, eliciting a moan from her husband.

‘It’s a bit unfair that you want me to do as I please with you while I barely know whether what I am about to do is going to be well received. But I just had a stroke of genius. I am here torturing myself by trying to come up with ways to entertain you. It is not fair.’

Her hands slid over his shoulders, down his chest, and up again before her hands wrapped themselves around his shoulders, her nails digging deep into his flesh.

‘I came into this marriage a virgin. Despite what my brother insinuated, and despite his whoring about I knew next to nothing… But you. Now I refuse to believe a man, who is still a bachelor at a certain age, and who is part of the social circle of the Prince Regent, wouldn’t know a thing or two about the marital bed.’

‘Esther’, Babington moaned, praying that his wife would not force him to admit to acts no one was supposed to have done before marriage. Nor was he particularly excited to give her knowledge wives should not possess.

‘It is not fair you come prepared but refuse to share, while I know nothing. Especially not since you seem determined on not doing anything unless I ask, while I am encouraged to do without ever questioning myself.’

Her hand trailed down to his achingly hard member.

‘I am limited in my freedom to do as I please by my limited knowledge and experience. It’s hard, she sighed as she gave it a tug.

His wife would be the death of him.

‘It’s not… Propper.’

‘Years in those circles, with more men having mistresses than men having not. Come now, you need not hide men’s nature from me. Men boast. They always do. You know things. So tell me… What do you like to do with me?’

He had to swallow hard.

He knew she had been a virgin. And he knew that despite her airs and attitude she was definitely being honest when she said she was insecure when navigating the marital bed. She had a point. But her words conjured images in his head of all they had already done and all he knew was possible. His lust clouded his mind, but it did not cloud his feelings, as mortification coursed through his body at the thought of saying some of the things he wouldn’t mind doing.

‘I like… kissing you.’

She took place on his lap. Pressing her lips to his. Her eyes shone with emotions he didn’t dare analyse.

‘And?’

‘I love it when you kiss me… Anywhere.’

She nuzzled his neck.

‘I do too.’

‘And when you bite… And leave a mark.’

‘With my mouth?’

‘Mouth, nails… Anything’, he breathed. And as the words slipped past his lips he could feel her nails digging into his hips as her mouth bit down where a bruise was already located near his collarbone.

‘I love it when you boss me around. Tie me down.’

‘And what haven’t we done yet?’

‘Certain positions in bed.’

‘Positions?’

‘Ways to… You know. Hold each other while…’

‘Oh.’

‘And perhaps… Against the wall.’

‘The wall?’ Her face was torn away from his neck. Dark brown eyes stared into his with interest.

‘I heard… You could… Prop a lady against a wall.’

Esther’s heart fluttered at the thought, a mental image immediately forming in her head. It was a drastic departure from how her husband usually enjoyed her ministrations.

‘So, you would… Pick me up?’

‘I would.’

She put the idea aside for later. Now she had to get as much out of her husband as possible.

‘And what else would you enjoy?’

‘Esther, I am perfectly satisfied.’

She tugged at his hair.

‘No. Keep on going.’

His hand tentatively went to her core. He’d rarely touched her there, except to insert himself.

Her hips buckled and she threw her body against his.

His fingers slid further, seeking entrance and tentatively rubbing the area.

‘No. Ugh. Wha- What are you d- d-doing?’

Entrance found, a finger slipped in. All her muscles tensed up as she bit down in his shoulder, yet her moans filled up the chamber nonetheless.

‘I love it when you make those sounds.’

The dynamic changed as he took control in a way he hadn’t before, emboldened by Esther’s begging for him to tell her what he desired.

She’d been bossed around by her family, having had too little agency in her own life. He’d wished to put an end to it by continuously telling her she had absolute freedom. But perhaps, as a husband who was supposed to lead his wife into married life, he had done too little by means of guiding her. He’d kept to the most basic ways of intercourse, though his mind had run wild, fuelled by desire for his new wife. Any control he’d had to keep things normal had started slipping in December, first by giving her a hickey, then by buying her those stockings. He had honestly never wanted to treat his wife as a prostitute. He felt guilty for everything he did, because she was a lady. She shouldn’t have to endure his depraved urges.

But then Christmas Eve had happened, and in not even a week their entire bedroom routine had changed. By not giving his wife any ideas, he could still pretend that what they did was normal, for if a virgin could come up with it, it didn’t count as corrupting his wife. But now he realized how she would feel about it. He knew what kind of nonsense was instilled upon women. Marriage was to be endured, books instilled upon them to be nothing but passive and docile. He knew how female sexuality was treated. She must have felt quite bad about doing the things she did.

‘I love it when you tease me, or pretend to be apathetic to what I do and say.’

‘W-Who says I am pretending?’ she breathed as her body kept on twisting in a hopeless battle against the feelings his fingers brought forth.

‘I do.’

‘You intended to wind up on the floor, Esther?’

‘I don’t know… I left the possibility open.’

He pulled her off of his lap, and planted her down on the chair as he took place on the floor.

‘Are you quite sure you want to know what I know?’

‘Tell me first’, she said, her eyes a good deal clearer now the assault had ended.

‘I intend,’ he said as he pressed his lips against the inside of her upper leg not far from her knee, ‘to ravish you.’

But before his eyes could get a good look of her sex, her legs slammed shut, her mind apparently quickly catching on.

‘Perhaps another time.’

She leaned forwards, arms reaching out for him as she slid out of the chair. And so they came to sit on the floor, her legs on opposite sides of his.

‘This could work as a position.’

‘Position?’

He slid his member in and her head flew backwards, landing on the soft cushion of the chair as he started thrusting.

‘B-B…’

‘My name.’

With her head flung backwards, her breast were perched highly on top of her chest, a perfect white in the moonlight.

He took a nipple in his mouth, flipping his tongue around it.

‘Ja-Ames’, she moaned. Her hips shook. He had just a couple of seconds to enjoy the view of his wife laying helplessly in his arms before he was suddenly being pushed towards the floor. He just about managed to keep his head from connecting with the floor in a painful manner. His legs gave out. He lay flat now, with Esther sitting victoriously on top of him.

She was panting, face hidden between gorgeous waves of red.

‘I like it when you lead like that’, she admitted before rocking forward, earning a growl from him. He was close now.

‘And I like it when I lead.’ She rocked again, bringing her body closer to his.

‘But do keep on telling me how much you need me to, Lord Babington.’

‘Oh gods, don’t ever stop.’

She would never do well being constrained, having her freedom and escape taken away, but to control and be controlled in turn apparently wasn’t something she minded. He had been blessed, few could be given a more amazing wife.

‘Or else?’

‘Hm, we could see about that.’

She bit her lip, her eyes gleaming.

‘Lucky for you, I’m feeling magnanimous tonight.’

He threw his leg in the air, catching her by surprise with the movement and the momentum it caused, allowing him to switch their roles.

‘Do you now, wife?’

She gasped for breath, her eyes fluttering shut. His lips traced her neck.

His hand slid downwards again, and her eyes sprang open. His thumb found purpose, flicking his thumb synchronous with his thrusts. Her eyes slipped shut again, whispers and moans carelessly leaving her lips now that she knew her husband enjoyed to hear her of her pleasure. And when her body froze, her nails clamping down in his skin as she spasmed around him, he knew his new technique had been successful and let go of the constraint he had left, and finished no minute later.

Afterwards, he carried his wife to bed and covered them both with blanket. She had two bruises on her breasts now, and he doubted not his neck was now officially more purple than nude, he was grateful for his cravat.

‘Seeing as we are now in a comfortable bed, with a comfortable day come morning, I can add joy as well’, Esther mumbled as she turned towards her husband, laying her face comfortably on his chest.

He was intrigued at his wife’s cryptic speech.

‘Tidings of comfort and joy, perhaps now is the best moment to tell. I intended it to be a Christmas surprise for you, but I forgot. You had me quite distracted the past few days.’

She pressed her lips to his chest.

‘Congratulations, I’m pregnant.’

‘W-what?’

‘Yes, I know. Awful, truly. No doubt you will mourn not being the only one keeping me up at night anymore.’

#12 days of sanditon #lemons #smut

5 notes · View notes