#anyways this shirt rules it actually feels good quality

[ignorancelive]

ok but have we considered that paramore is a band ⁉️

#not shown: flame heelys #did a triple match between the hair the shirt and the shoes #dont know how to use them but i get an extra half inch of height and they look cool so. idk dont worry about it #anyways this shirt rules it actually feels good quality #lets just 🤞🤞🤞🤞 hope it doesnt turn out like the sweater #moi*

[ava-achlys]

The Boyz NSFW Scenarios

Kim Sunwoo - Reflection [Requested]

Request: Strangers to friends (dom! Sunwoo), new kid Sunwoo meets the school troublemaker in detention. Tensions rise and antics ensue.

new kid! Sunwoo x bad girl! reader

Warnings: unprotected sex (wrap it up kiddos), underage sex, semi-public sex, slight praise kink, slight angst, mentions of bullying/misconduct/mischief

Sorry for the wait @l0v3bugch4nh33 but I hope you enjoy it! Thanks again for requesting 💖

What do you do when your position as the baddest person in school is threatened by some obnoxious newbie with equally obnoxious pink hair?

Mr Lee sighs for the umpteenth time as you tap your foot incessantly. He glares at you, knowing full well he has no effect on you. Every teacher that's tried to talk some sense into you or punish you has given up and resigned to waiting for the day you graduate, which proves to be difficult since your grades were trash and your conduct was just as terrible. You had to repeat your senior year and it just meant you had more time to mess with the teachers and staff. Why hadn't they just expelled you? Well, you doubt it had anything to do with the fact that you'd been expelled from two other high schools already, and your parents had offered a large sum of money to the principal to keep you in this school until you graduate.

You hated studying, period. You hated how rigid the academic systems were, and you had little to no interest in anything. Not science, not languages, not arts. You just felt stuffy and controlled all the time. That was why you ended up terrorizing the other kids and even staff, just to feel alive and free. Smoking in the school bathrooms, skipping class, vandalism; just to name a few. You revelled in the way your juniors would scurry away if you so much as looked in their direction, and even some teachers would avoid you. You ran the school, and you were untouchable. Until about a week ago.

Some new kid transferred into your class with obnoxiously pink hair and a slight accent from the countryside. Who even transfers into a new school in their senior year? Anyway, some of the girls were immediately taken by his looks, whispering to each other about how cute he was, and your classmates began spreading mindless gossip about him.

I heard he was expelled for beating up some teachers

I heard it was because he set the school on fire!

I bet it's cause he slept with a teacher

You roll your eyes at their stupid words, effectively shutting them up with a glare. As your luck would have it, the new guy (Sunoo, was it?) was assigned to be your seating partner, something your teacher belatedly realized was a very bad idea. In horror, she reminded the class that it was a temporary arrangement and that she was revise the seating plan, internally vowing to keep you two as far away from each other as possible. It wasn't something for her to worry about, you thought. You had absolutely no plans to get close to the pink-haired fool who was not-so-subtly checking you out.

Days passed and you tried to assert your dominance by acting out even more than usual. You swapped all the locks to the gym equipment storage and started a food fight at lunch, earning you a week's worth of detention. However it didn't seem to faze him at all, and he went about his business, staying out of your hair, despite appreciating the view every time you walked past in your short skirt. So what if you weren't abiding by the school dress code? He himself had flaming pink hair, which apparently landed him in detention too, since he wasn't willing to dye it back to black or shave it all off within the stipulated time. That, and he was caught smoking in the boys bathroom. Detention within the first week of school? You had to applaud him, even if you decided you hated his guts for being indifferent and callous. Only you were allowed to be like that.

A knock on the door brings you back to the present, and Mr Lee huffs when he sees the fuchsia mop poke through the door. "So nice of you to finally join us, Sunwoo. Your seat is there. And I'm sure you're familiar with the rules of detention by now, most schools are the same," your teacher smiles, a fake saccharine tinge to his voice.

"Afraid not, sir, would you be so kind to inform me again?" Sunwoo drawls, his big round eyes blinking with faux innocence. You resist the urge to laugh at the way Mr Lee is fuming, sinewy arms ready to burst through his tight button-up and you swear you could see steam pouring out of his ears. "I do not want to hear a single word from either of you. Stay put, and maybe do some reflection on why you decided to be such menaces," he spits through gritted teeth, storming off through the door and slamming it shut, locking it from the outside. You groan, slouching into your seat as you fiddle with your phone, already bored out of your mind. Your eyes are on your phone but you can sense Sunwoo's gaze lingering on you again. It's not unpleasant, but it leaves you feeling hot, and you refuse to believe he's got that effect on you.

"You're an idiot," you mutter under your breath, your eyes still trained on your phone.

"Pardon?" his artificially sweet voice is back, taunting you with that drawl of his.

"Smoking on school grounds, getting detention in your first week? Rookie mistake."

"What if I did it on purpose? To spend some quality time with the mysterious bad girl everyone's been talking about?"

You scoff loudly and Sunwoo is still grinning annoyingly at you. He stands up and walks over to the teacher's table, plopping into Mr Lee's seat. "You're interesting." He stretches his long legs out, resting them on the table, putting his hands behind his head, sending a cocky smirk your way; and you can’t decide if you want to punch or kiss it right off his face. You roll your eyes, uncrossing your legs and you suppress a laugh when you notice Sunwoo’s line of vision goes straight to the spot between your legs. He licks his plush lips subconsciously, and oh, what you would give to feel those lips on your body. You spread your legs just a tad further, and the smirk on his face slowly drains away, eyes transfixed on the wet spot on your panties. “Fuck you, Sunwoo.”

“Yes, please,” he murmurs absentmindedly, his mind racing thinking about all the dirty things he wants to do to you. You scoff, crossing your legs again, about to curse at him. You’re no easy girl. Especially for someone like Sunwoo, with his stupid puppy eyes, fluffy pink hair, pouty pink lips, thick thighs straining through his tapered uniform trousers and- your thoughts were disrupted by his figure looming over you. He had crossed the room while you were busy listing off everything you found attractive hated in the boy. He stands before you, round eyes darkened with want, and his hand comes up to tilt your chin upwards, his thumb carelessly rubbing against your bottom lip.

"Are you really as bad as they say you are?"

"Don't try me Kim Sunwoo."

"No… I don't think you are. I think you're actually a good girl, hmm?" Sunwoo whispers, deftly unzipping his trousers and pulling his erect cock out, perfectly level with your glossy lips. He tucks a strand of stray hair behind your ear, and gently coaxes your head closer to his twitching length. Your mouth falls open unwittingly, and you can't help but lick your lips at the sight before you.

"Such a good girl only for me."

A shiver rolls down your spine at his deep voice, and you find your lips around his tip, lapping up his oozing precum, your hand grasping the base of his cock. Sunwoo lets out a shaky moan, his fingers twisting into your hair. “Fuck, just like that,” he gasps. You bob your head up and down, swallowing around his shaft, and Sunwoo’s pretty moans fill the classroom. He guides your head up and down his length, admiring the way your luscious lips are wrapped around his veiny member. Soon, he tugs you off by your hair, making a 'pop' sound as your mouth releases his dick. You look up at him questioningly, and his cock twitches at the sight of your spit-slicked swollen lips. "Don't wanna cum yet, cutie," he grins, dragging you by the shoulders to push you against the teacher's table.

You hop up the table and lean back, parting your legs wide to accommodate him. You pull your skirt up, and he pulls your drenched panties aside to dive in, licking ravenously at your slick folds, causing you to mewl and throw your head back, nearly hitting your head on the table. He slides your panties off and his free hand sneaks up your body to cup your breast, massaging it through your shirt and bra as he makes out with your pussy. You clamp a hand over your mouth to stifle your moans, feeling those plump lips close around your sensitive clit, and you can't help but writhe in pleasure. Sunwoo smirks up at you from between your thighs, balling up your panties and holding them in front of your face. "Open up~ can't be too noisy can we, or else the teachers will find out we don't hate each other as much as they think we do," he mocks you in a singsong voice. You open your mouth to rebuke, but he takes this opportunity to shove your panties into your mouth, prompting a disgruntled moan from you.

Your annoyance at being forcibly shushed fades quickly when he sticks two thick fingers into your pussy, clenching tight around the intrusion. He laps at your clit as he pumps his fingers, scissoring them to stretch you out, his other hand back to groping your other breast. Your mind is turning hazy from all the stimulation, and you can only grip onto the edges of the table as you drown in the feeling of Sunwoo's touches all over your body. He pulls away once he thinks you're ready, making you whine at the loss of contact. He straightens up and you wordlessly stare at each other with lust-filled eyes as he languidly lubes up his erect cock with your juices. You position yourself right at the edge of the table, holding your legs up and apart with your hands, presenting yourself to him.

Your pussy throbs as he approaches, lining up his cock with your entrance and he pushes in slowly. The stretch burns deliciously, and Sunwoo hurriedly pulls your panties from your lips, muffling your moans with his lips instead. The kiss is messy, spit and precum and teeth, as your pussy adjusts to having him fully sheathed inside you. You break apart, gasping for air, and Sunwoo is shaking from resisting the urge to pummel into you immediately. "M-move, Sunwoo, hurry," you whisper, and he nods, pulling out and slamming back in instantly, shushing you softly when you unwittingly moan out loud. He continues to fuck you at a brutal pace, balls slapping against your ass, and slowly you feel your arms start to give way. He notices this, and takes over, holding your thighs apart with a bruising grip as he drills into you. He buries his face in your neck, his hot breath and warm lips on your skin bringing you close to climax.

"You think you're so big and bad huh? The students fear you and the teachers hate you, but look how good you're being for me," he pants into your skin, groaning when you clench around him, clearly affected by his words. "S-shut it Sunwoo just- ahhh!" your words are cut off by a hard thrust into your g-spot. You hate him, for being a tease, for taunting you, for threatening to take your spot as the top dog in school, but most of all, for edging you. He chuckles darkly, pulling your hair so you look up at him with desperate, wild eyes. "Come on now, ask nicely and I'll let you cum, babe," he teases, hips still pistoning relentlessly into yours. You let out a frustrated groan, and you grab him by his collar, pressing your lips against his. "Let me cum, Sunwoo, wanna cum all over your pretty cock," you mumble against his lips, and it seems to do the trick.

His thrusts begin to stutter, and you smirk into the kiss, realizing that big bad Sunwoo likes being praised too. "Your lips were made to eat pussy, and you just love the taste of mine, don't you?" you continue, getting bolder, revelling in the way a shiver rolls down his spine at your words. He thrusts erratically, groaning lowly as you cling to his frame, burying your face in his shoulder to muffle your moans as you cum hard, clenching tightly around his cock. Sunwoo hurriedly pulls out before he cums inside you, jerking himself harshly to completion, growling and cursing as he paints the side of the teacher's table white with his cum. He falls forward, clutching the table as both of you gulp lungfuls of air as you come down from your highs.

"Fuck, that was-"

"Insane. We're insane for doing this, really." you finish his sentence. He snorts loudly, shaking his head at the sticky situation you had gotten yourselves into. Suddenly you hear footsteps and voices coming down the hallway, and you look at each other in horror. You quickly straighten your clothes, hurrying to put your panties on and wipe off Sunwoo's cum from the teacher's table with a gym towel you had in your school bag. Mr Lee opens the door to find the two of you sitting very peacefully apart, and with any luck, doesn't notice the messy hair, wrinkled clothes, flushed cheeks or the stench of sex and sweat in the classroom.

He chalks it up to you two delinquents being perpetually unkempt, and dismisses the two of you, as it was well past the time your detention should have ended. You and Sunwoo duck around him, uncharacteristically quiet and meek as you exit the school together. Once you make it past the school gates, you both break out into raucous laughter, still not believing how you went from hating each other to swallowing each other's faces in the span of one meeting. The smile on Sunwoo's face suddenly disappears as a thought crosses his mind. "Wait… was there a CCTV camera in that classroom?" he asks worriedly. "Yeah. There is." you reply casually, and a look of alarm crosses his face.

"Don't worry, it's broken though." you quickly assure him.

"What? Who broke it?"

A devious smile graces your lips and Sunwoo immediately understands, barking out another incredulous laugh. You two share stories about the trouble you've gotten into at your previous schools all the way home. Before you part ways, Sunwoo smirks cheekily at you. "So… Same time next week?"

You gnaw on your lip as you consider. Maybe there was space at the top of the food chain for two, and that you both aren't so different after all. You mirror his impish grin as you walk away.

"See you in detention, Kim Sunwoo."

#achlys: tbz imagines #kim sunwoo #the boyz sunwoo #sunwoo smut #the boyz smut #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #🦝

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Bella and Beauford (your version of Beau) are twins, similar features (brown eyes), similar chip on their shoulder, similar flowery language, and Ed can't read either of their minds and both smell like grade A beefcakes. Both move to Forks. What kind of mess do you think will go down? 030 Does Eddie boi get the harem he's never wanted? How much can we destroy the B&B team self esteem? Find out on today's episode of the What if Muffin chronicles~! - Sw

Beauford is a reoccurring guest star on this blog.

Think Bella directly plastered onto a boy: absurdly pretty, still clumsy, still terribly introverted and awful socially, and smells like heroin to one Edward Cullen.

With that, onto your question

The Rules

To set some ground rules that are set in the post, I'm presuming both, somehow, are Edward's singer. Now, given that it's Bella and Beauford (fraternal twins), I'd say this is highly unlikely. Singers are rare, and Charlie and Renee don't notably smell like high quality heroin to Edward. More likely, Bella would be the singer, and Beauford would just smell generally nice (but not murder all of Biology nice).

It's also unlikely they'd have the same exact gift, or a gift that expresses itself in the same manner, blocking Edward out of their minds.

But the rules are set, both are Edward's singer, and both have Bella's absurdly powerful gift.

They're for all intents and purposes the same fucking person that somehow got stuffed in two different gendered bodies. The real genesis of this AU: Renee was abducted by aliens while pregnant and her unborn child experimented on. Beauford is, in fact, Bella's identical twin. Beauford is actually Bella's male clone grown in the womb.

After Bella and Beauford reach sexual maturity they'll be beamed back up into space and put into a zoo on Traflamador. (Except not because that would derail this post... The test pilot on Traflamador blew up their planet before Bella and Beauford could phone home. It's not important.)

Bella, Beauford, and the Time Before Forks

Bella and Beauford are probably frightfully codependent for a few reasons that go by the name of Renee. Renee's still out to lunch parenting, and it falls to Bella and Beauford to take care of adult responsibilities from a very young age.

Bella and Beauford come home from school to an empty house, are the ones to go grocery shopping, pay the bills, pay the taxes, do the laundry, pretty much anything that has "adult responsibility" stamped on it.

As a result, they don't really have time to make friends with kids out of school, and they quickly realize that they're the only ones they can depend on in their lives. More, they're the only ones who get each other on any level.

They're both social outcasts, both not what their mother wanted, both have to deal with their mother, and if they ever get in trouble then it's their sibling that they're going to call. Because no one else will ever be there.

I imagine both Bella and Beauford cling to each other tightly with both hands.

Which, of course, makes things weird.

There's getting along with your twin sibling then there's... only getting along with your twin sibling.

Bella and Beauford have lunch together, by themselves, every day in Phoenix. They partner together on everything and are very displeased if they're forced into a group project with anyone else. They participate in all the same activities and if one isn't allowed to do it then the other quits (yes, Beauford tried to get into ballet class, when Renee put her foot down Bella quit right then and there). They wear each other's clothes, if they can't, then those clothes never get worn (Bella never wears the few dresses in her closet). They actually remember their made up secret twin language and lapse into it accidentally from time to time. They're anxious when they're not in the same classes and meet up after every single class to walk down the hallways together. Rather than have any friends, most of their free time is spent at home reading the same books in the same room. They don't even talk about how amazing Heathcliff is, because they know the other knows.

I imagine they channel such the twins from The Shining. Absurdly good looking, beautiful, kids but good god what is wrong with them?

The Decision to Move

When Phil enters the picture seriously, he's not just a new boyfriend, Bella and Beauford sit down to discuss their options. Neither is quite sure how they feel about Phil.

He's awfully young, but he seems to be good for Renee, and is actually capable of paying his taxes (unlike Renee). He can probably be depended upon not to run off and to make sure Renee is taken care of.

However what about Bella and Beau?

With Bella and Beau going to school, they can't travel across the country every few weeks following Phil. Now, in theory, Renee could abandon them to follow Phil. This wouldn't make much of a difference in their daily lives (might, in fact, make things easier in a way as then Beau/Bella can just handle all the cooking rather than Renee even attempting to). However, Renee would never want to admit she's been leaving her kids to their own devices for years, and would feel horribly guilty to leave them behind.

As it is, they've already told Renee she can go on and travel with Phil and she refused, stating she had to be there for her kids.

There's also that Phil keeps trying to bond with Beau especially. As if he thinks it will be easier to bond with the teenage stepson vs. the stepdaughter. That hasn't been going well, Beau would like to avoid that if at all possible.

On the other hand... Forks, wet, cold, and being the children of the police chief's runaway bride.

Ultimately, the pair come to the same decision Bella came to in canon. They want their mother to be happy, feel desperately like third wheels, and if making Renee happy necessitates going to Forks then to Forks they shall go.

At least they'll have each other, and in the end, that's all that really matters.

Arriving in Forks

Bella and Beau arrive in Forks and receive the same reception they would otherwise. But more so. Holy god, the high school population says, it's the Cullens 2.0.

Eerily pale, beautiful, siblings, who are both sensitive intellectuals (and are also weirdly incestuous acting). All the guys want to date Bella and all the girls want to date Beau (some vice versa but they're not admitting that in a public high school in 2005).

The guys (Mike, Tylor, Eric, etc.) aren't all that thrilled by Beau's presence, he's major competition and day one is attracting all the attention. However, they see him as a way to get an in with Bella, he can set them up on a date and put in a good word. If they become his best friend, they have an excuse to go to his house, where Bella will be.

The girls (even Lauren who was initially very pissed off about Bella's sudden popularity) are much the same. Bella's overrated, but good god, that beautiful brother of hers. If they become Bella's best friend, they can have sleep overs, and might be able to see Beau without a shirt on. No matter Bella's stuffy personality, that hot brother is worth it.

Lunch that first day, as a result, is even more awful than it was in canon. Bella and Beauford, while generally oblivious about themselves, are very observant when it becomes to the behavior of others regarding their sibling.

They have an emergency meeting in the truck after school and come to the same conclusion: Bella/Beau, this entire school of hicks wants in your pants. Dump them all.

Both Bella and Beauford end the day supremely annoyed but reconfirm their commitment to this Forks plan. Beau predicts than in six months they'll be losers again and they'll go back to having lunch by themselves.

But what about the Cullens?

Edward, The Cullens, and Biology

As in canon, both Beauford and Bella notice the entrance of the alien procession into the cafeteria and ask "what the fuck?"

Nobody's thrilled about answering, because no one wants to lose Bella/Beauford to the Cullens of all people (the girls sigh with relief as, at least for them, all the lady Cullens seem to be dating one of the other guys. Beau is safe. The possibility of Edward/Beau is one they dare not contemplate in those five seconds.)

Still, Jessica reluctantly gives the run down. These are the Cullens, they moved in two years ago, are absurdly wealthy, beautiful, and supposedly not actually related. They're all dating each other. No, seriously, they are. Except the hot ginger, Edward, but don't bother because he's an ass.

Both Bella and Beauford think Jessica doth protest too much about Edward and internally give the Cullens the same bisexual Bella ranking: Rosalie, Edward (after a bit of thought), and then the rest of them.

Edward, for his own part, notes that he can't seem to hear either's thoughts. Weird. He concludes that the pair are highly overrated and he can't believe the school's so agog over the pair of them. Stupid teenagers.

Then Biology happens.

The pair open the door and good god, Edward Cullen is a demon. Luckily for them, they have each other. There may be an open seat next to Edward Cullen but Bella and Beauford go "NOPE". You see, teacher, we always sit together. No, really, we ALWAYS sit together.

The teacher is weirded out but it's so weird he actually has nothing to say to that. There's only one immediately open seat anyway, and two new students, so they're clearly in trouble with seating arrangements anyway. So he says, "Um, sure, go sit with Angela I guess." Angela is now in an overcrowded table with both Bella and Beauford, her original partner gleefully goes to sit with hottie Edward (then is in dismay sitting with Edward because this guy looks terrifying today). The twins, throughout Biology, are staring down Edward Cullen.

Edward, of course, has smelled the scent of the gods and is going through his personal hell on earth. He devises his many schemes of how he's going to murder Biology before he can get to the pair of them (Angela, for the record, gets smashed into a wall for the honor of being in Edward's way). Then, he doesn't know which he'd start on, he can't tell which scent comes from which. He tells himself he'll toss a coin, heads the boy goes first, then tails the girl.

Still, thinking of Carlisle's sad, disapproving, face as Edward massacres a room filled with children allows Edward to hold on through Biology. He'll murder them after school. Then of course he's able to clear his head and flees to Alaska.

In the meantime, thanks to being hyperaware of their sibling, and now having someone to talk to and confirm their suspicions with: Edward Cullen is Ted Bundy. This guy is creepy, dangerous, and in that moment it looked as if he was going to kill one or both of them. Bella/Beauford would be alright, though disappointed, if they were murdered then left in a dumpster. But their sibling die and meet that same awful fate? Not ever allowed to happen.

Bella and Beau have the world's most tense drive home and tense night taking turns taking guard and sleeping in the same room. Every time one questions if they're, maybe, just maybe, a little paranoid about this, the other confirms that "NOPE, THAT DUDE WAS SCARY".

They can't tell Charlie, he wouldn't believe them and they have no evidence, but when Edward tries to climb through their window maybe one of them will get in a good hit with the baseball bat (they won't, they're both debilitatingly clumsy).

The next day, to their confusion and relief, Edward Cullen isn't at school. He's not there the day after that either, or the day after that...

Beau and Bella start to relax, if only a little bit.

Edward, Alaska, and the Prodigal Son Returns

Edward in Alaska calms down and goes through the same thought process he did in canon. He keeps picturing the twins' faces, his obsession beginning to blossom, and convinces himself that he can't let these unremarkable humans get in the way of his life and his family.

After a week of brooding, much to Carlisle's horror, Edward returns to Forks and goes straight back to school. Specifically, he wants to do damage control with the twins and see just how much they actually noticed.

This goes worse than in canon.

First, Edward has to approach their shared table with Angela like a loser. There, Bella and Beau clearly don't want to talk at him, at all, and both clearly vividly remember exactly what happened last Biology class.

Edward barely gets a word in before he has to go to his seat. When he notices Bella, Beau, and Angela get their lab done as quickly as him (thanks to Bella and Beau), he tries again.

Bella and Beau both ask to go to the bathroom. (Yes, teacher, at the same time. Don't question this.) They don't come back. Edward, after ten minutes, also goes to the bathroom. He finds the pair in their giant, red, truck in the parking lot, deep in conversation (trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Edward Cullen).

He approaches them again, being as charming as possible. This has the opposite effect. Directed towards only them, Beau/Bella would probably let this slide. Directed towards Beloved Sibling, their "DANGER, WILL ROBINSON" sirens are blaring in their head. Beau floors it, and the pair tear out of the parking lot as fast as the truck will take them, they're telling Charlie they're taking a sick day. What will they do next Biology class? FUCK IF THEY KNOW.

Edward, standing in the parking lot with his mouth open, feels very very embarrassed and ashamed. He is a man eating demon and these two are perfectly aware of it. The rest of the Cullens find him there not long after, they find this both sad and hilarious.

Bella and Beau Get Hit by a Van

Well, this would all be well and good. Edward tells himself that if the pair are so determined to avoid him then he'll just avoid them. Problem solved. More, the pair don't seem to be chatterboxes, there's no weird rumors spreading about Edward Cullen or his siblings. At least, no more than usual.

Instead, it seems that everyone's trying to ask the twins to the dance, and are very confused when the twins say that they're going with each other. Sibling policy. You see. (They don't see, nobody sees, this is weird.)

Then it happens. Bella nearly gets hit by a van, Edward saves her, with Beau as a full not-concussed witness. FUCK. Bella and Beau travel to the hospital, Edward driving along behind them, and then after Carlisle checks Bella out they have their awkward talk.

Bella wants to insist that Edward was clearly the one who saved her, with his strange superhuman strength, but thanks to twin telepathy (which either is actual telepathy or is just reading twin body language, who even knows) knows that Beau wants her to shut up. They say nothing, the truth isn't important.

Instead, Beau states that he was the one who pulled Bella out of the way, Bella's just confused. Edward stares at Beau like he's an alien. Beau just smiles, thanks Edward for his concern, then throws Edward out of the room.

Bella and Beau madly discuss that Edward's clearly not human. More, while he saved her life today and that was very noble of him, neither has truly forgotten how he was in that first day of Biology. More, did you see him now? He clearly wanted, desperately for Bella to not remember what happened. He crushed that van like a pretzel, what if they told him that they saw him? What would happen to them? Beau doesn't want to take chances, not even for the truth, and in retrospect Bella doesn't either. Now is not the time to look gifted horses in the mouth.

Given Bella's injured, Beau's on full guard duty that night.

Meanwhile, the Cullens have their vote. It's even more dramatic, because instead of just one innocent, injured, witness, there's two witnesses and one was completely uninjured. Carlisle is utterly appalled that Rosalie genuinely suggests murdering them both so she doesn't have to move. He's more appalled when Edward reveals that he believes the twins may believe that Edward... wishes them harm for having witnessed his heroics.

Because the irony being that the twins are right, the family is voting on this very issue right now. And what does that say about all of them?

Thankfully for Beau and Bella, the vote goes very similarly to canon. Jasper's not convinced until Alice has her vision.

And she drops the bomb. Edward's in love with Bella, Beau will be Edward's best friend and Bella Alice's, and both Bella and her brother will be turned and join the coven.

(Now, what Alice doesn't tell Edward is that, actually, Edward's in love with them both. It's safer to say that Edward's in love with the woman, as that's what Edward will far more readily accept. Throwing Beau into that mix would just make things very messy, if Alice wants her best friend and Edward's happy ending then she has to be smart about this.)

The family has a similar reaction. Carlisle gives his, "Well, alright then" and the family doesn't move. Edward, in despair and self-hatred, heads to the Swan house to see sleeping Bella for himself.

And lo and behold, Beau has been waiting for him. Beau tries to smash Edward's face in with a bat. Unfortunately, a) Edward's a vampire, b) Beau misses.

Beau and Edward end up talking, man to man, while Bella is sleeping. Edward decides that, yes, oh woe, he is in love with Beauford's sister and confesses as much (while also confessing that he might, you know, actually be dangerous). Beau suggests that Edward stay far away from his sister.

No, there's nothing Beau can do to stop Edward. Yes, he is just a pathetic human even more pathetic than most, but he promises that he will make Edward and his family's life hell on Earth if Edward ever thinks of assaulting his sister.

Edward protests he would never, Beau points out that Edward just climbed through his injured sister's window in the dead of night. Edward... tries and fails to explain away that one.

He actually does succeed in that he explains that Bella was in danger from... his siblings. Edward had come to protect Bella, to make sure none came to harm her. It's not necessarily his siblings' fault, it's complicated but... Well, Edward was trying to be somewhat noble.

Then something strange happens. Edward finds himself fascinated by this Beauford Swan. Such courage in the world's weakest, no most delicate, body. Look at those eyelashes, his big dark eyes, his perfectly shaped features. This boy is beautiful, as beautiful as his sister, and just as courageous as she is. And look at him now, nobly facing down a demon he knows he cannot win against for the sake of his sister.

How virtuous.

Edward tells himself that what he's feeling is kinship and admiration for Beauford Swan. Bella could not have a worthier brother. Edward leaves with the promise that he'll respect Beau's wishes (Beau doesn't believe that for a second).

The next morning, Beau tells Bella that Edward's the world's biggest creep and that the Twin Watch is not stopping anytime soon. They're going to need to make a big purchase of coffee.

Edward and His Torment

As in canon, Edward decides he should nobly stay out of Bella's life. He'll see if either twin really does talk (they don't) and then he'll ignore them until they disappear. They will forget him.

They don't, but they do discuss him. See, after much pondering, the twins realize that Edward truly is a Grade A hottie. More, he's so mysterious and inhuman. In retrospect, his saving Bella's life goes a long way, and for all that he's been... menacing, he's never truly threatened them and does seem intent on protecting Bella. More, he seems to be keeping his promise: he's staying out of Bella's life and he hasn't been back to the house since (he has, but they haven't caught him, Edward waits until they both crash until he can sneak in and stare at them both).

And he's never lied about being dangerous. Their glares soften into pondering glances, wondering just what the truth of this Edward Cullen and his family really is, and wonder what it'd be like to let him into their small, insular, world that no one before has ever managed to breach in the way he has.

Bella doesn't believe he's truly interested in her, despite Beau's insistence, and wonders if he's interested in Beau. Beau, for his own part, doesn't believe Edward's interested in him and insists that he's clearly very interested in Bella.

Reluctantly, the pair conclude that Edward is something likely very dangerous, against Edward's will, but benign. Whatever it was they sensed from Edward that first day, it was not something in his control.

Helping this is Edward enabling the mysterious mystery by breaking. He can't stay away from the twins. He tells them that he's tired of staying away from them, that they shouldn't be friends, that he doesn't want to be friends (but wants to be something hint, hint, wink, wink). Except he's convinced he and Beauford are friends, dual protectors of the angel Bella Swan. If he stares a little too much at Beau's perfect figure then that's because he's the perfect, male, version of his perfect sister.

Anyway, the twins go to Long Beach with the others and the twins are now just too curious. Edward's giving them nothing and they must know. Bella flirts with Jake for information, Beau is appalled that this works, and they hear the cold ones story. That night, they both have the prophetic Slayer dream: Edward is a vampire.

Bella tells Beauford that she knows three things. One is that she's in love with Edward. Beau's not sure how to take that for a second but, being Bella's twin and on the same weird wavelength, he gets it. He's in love with Edward too.

Neither finds it strange that they both confess to being in love with the same demon and that they see no conflict of interest in this.

The pair go to Port Angeles to help Jessica and Angela pick up dresses. (Angela and Jessica aren't sure why a man is coming, but they've learned not to question this twin thing). Bella and Beau ultimately decided not to go to the dance, too risky giving the deluge of invitations they received, and instead they'll be headed to Seattle that weekend. They claim this is not a date, Angela and Jessica just stare.

Due to Beau being with Bella, though the pair get hopelessly lost looking for the book store, Bella doesn't get followed by rapists. Edward shows up anyway, as Alice saw the possibility, and takes the pair of them to romantic Italian dinner. It's weird.

He then drives them home and Bella blurts it out. Edward's a vampire, she and Beau know. Edward has his miniature meltdown and realizes that these pair of siblings forgive him this. Beau, beautiful man that he is, is giving Edward his beloved sister and Bella is giving not only herself but her wonderful brother's hand in friendship.

Edward invites them both, that's right, them both, to the meadow. Neither thinks this is strange. And when they get there. Boom, it's over, any chance to question this is gone. Both Bella and Beau are seduced by Edward's sparkling chest and his quotes about lions.

He rests his head on Bella's chest but puts his right hand on Beau's. They sit like that. For hours.

The Cullens (Again)

Well, this went from weird to fucking weirder. It was weird enough when Edward became obsessed with this rando teenage girl. Now, it turns out that Edward's a horn dog panting after bisexual twins, clearly intending to romance them both at the same time.

Carlisle dearly tries to have an intervention. He sends Esme to do it, as in canon, this doesn't work (Esme is perfectly fine with Edward's twincest fetish and thinks it's wonderful).

Alice tells a dubious Jasper that Edward and Beau are just friends. Jasper doesn't believe her, but he's not sure what to even say.

Emmett is desperately holding in Edward sandwich jokes. Desperately.

When Beau and Bella are invited to the house (together of course), the entire family has no idea what to say to them. At all. They don't know how to process this. Rosalie is actually there this time, because somebody needs to warn these two about what Edward really wants, but then they're too weird.

It's all just too weird.

And... the rest of canon happens.

The baseball game occurs, James dies, Victoria's not sure which Swan she should target and so she targets them both anyway. They're in the same damn place so it makes 0 difference.

Bella and Beau joint hallucinate Hallucination Edward, somehow, and get even weirdly more codependent in their zombie fugue state. This tanks their popularity as now there's no denying the incest. Bella and Beau don't care.

Bella and Beau reach out to get Jake to build them the motorcycles. Jake doesn't necessarily want Beau around, the dude's weird and getting in the way of Bella time, but alright. Bella and Jake's friendship doesn't take off because Bella's codependent on Beau.

They do learn about the wolves though thanks to Jake's crush on Bella. Jake never realizes that he's coming in third place not only to Edward Cullen but to Beauford Swan. He thinks he has a chance. That poor boy.

Bella and Beau jump off the cliff together, convinced they weren't committing suicide.

Alice returns, gets Bella and Beau to go to Volterra, because Edward has to see that they're both alive. There's a joyful reunion, Aro is really weirded out by this whole damn thing and has a five second pause after touching Marcus' hand. "Well." he says afterwards, "You and your brother are close. I see."

They get to go home, Aro insists they turn. Eclipse happens. Edward proposes marriage to Bella. Neither Beau nor Bella are thrilled (mostly about the marriage and also about the question of how the twin enters this equation) but ultimately Bella accepts. Bella and Edward marry publicly.

Beau is invited for the honeymoon. Edward, Bella, nor Beau question this. Everyone else does. A lot. On Isle Esme, the three confirm their commitment to each other: they have a secret marriage. Edward and Beau are both convinced they're not in a relationship. Bella and Beau are convinced they're not incestuous.

Sex is had by... someone. Unclear who.

Bella gets pregnant, this seems to confirm Edward must be the father but... Bella and Beau are both very strange, almost alien, and very gifted. There is some red in their hair. Questions the Cullens dare not speak aloud are thought, Edward doesn't seem to notice.

TL;DR Basically, the books still happen but Edward is cuckolded and enables twincest.

...

I did not see this one coming guys. I swear. I did not.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #tw incest #cw incest #bella swan #beauford swan #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #bella/beauford #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #edward/beauford #anti edward/beauford #edward/bella/beauford #anti edward/bella/beauford #meta #headcanon #opinion

[elysianslove]

Hi! Can you do roommates au for kuroo, oikawa, iwachan and atsumu?

hi!! thank you for requesting i hope you like these!!

kuroo tetsurō

kuroo as a roommate is both the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to you

for one, you always have a tutor in case you need help 

and he’s really good at keeping you in check

will always make sure u eat, sleep well, manage your time

stuff like that

but

BUT 

he’s so messy pls

like every room might as well be kuroo’s room because his stuff is always everywhere 

this is only a good thing when his shirt/hoodies end up in your domain 

bc this guy’s like 6’1? 6’2? doesn’t matter who you are his clothes are comfy whether they fit right or dwarf you 

does not know how to clean

at all

like how difficult can cleaning be??? idk ask kuroo

he’s really good at picking up new habits though so he’s your designated cook

cleaning is on you, cooking is on him

i hope that’s okay w u bc otherwise u will not survive 😃

he’s so big on cuddling 

he’ll ask you to sleep in the same bed constant nights 

at first it’s so ??? weird??? 

like why would u??? 

but then u find that it’s actually kinda nice

it’s a great way to destress bc as soon as ur cuddling ur mind just turns off 

@ the tutor thing 

he’s a really good teacher 

but his notes?

get ur own <3 

literally no one but kuroo can understand them so good luck g 

anyways overall he’s a great roommate good job on scoring this hunk of a man 😻

oikawa tōru

first few months, he completely avoids you

weird i know i know

but oikawa is not someone that just opens up to anyone yk? he’s very selective. it takes a while for him to trust you

but you live in the same house so it’s inevitable 

it’s not that he avoided you per se but he kept your interactions to a minimum 

which had been fine by you! he was respectful of your privacy, did his part to maintain the house while you did yours, etc 

it’s when he starts getting comfortable that’s the problem 

i think it would happen spontaneously and you two would stay up s o late together out of nowhere and suddenly you’d know each other’s deepest darkest secrets 

believes in those roommate bonding activities 

friday nights are reserved for the two of you, and that’s a set rule. only extreme cases have priority over it

can’t cook and can’t clean

but he’s so good at lifting up his legs while you vacuum <3 

literally if you leave for the weekend you come back to an unrecognizable home 

the amount of shit he’s broken bc of volleyball like literally go play anywhere else 

overall he’s a great roommate because he’s both respectful of your boundaries and genuinely really fun to have around 

(so fucking annoying though sometimes you just wanna suffocate him in his sleep hehe)

iwaizumi hajime

best roommate hands down he’s the perfect candidate oh my god 

he will cook

and he will clean

he’ll be respectful 

he’ll help you with your work 

only issue is he’s a bit standoffish you’ll think he hates you for the longest time

until you just straight up ask him “do you hate me?” 

and he’ll be genuinely so shocked like “no! what? why would i live with you if i hated you? what?” 

god he’s so precious 

i see iwa as someone that likes routine 

so it’d be great if you can adapt to that/adapt to his routine specifically 

you two split the work evenly so well

like if he takes care of breakfast (cooks or it buys it), dinner is on you

spring cleaning is actually so fun with hajime because he actually puts in as much effort as you

but also 

you’re blasting some music on the speakers and using the broom as a mic that he can’t help but let loose tbh 

he learns your quips so well overtime it’s amazing he just 

he just knows you so well is he psychic or some shit???

will never force you to like do any bonding activities but i see you two just playing a shit ton of boardgames together, things like monopoly

loser gets extra chores hehe 

god i want roommate iwa in my life so bad

a really good roommate because of the fact that he’s super mature and a really thoughtful person in general

miya atsumu

worst one 

he’s the WORST

like oikawa can’t cook or clean, but he has some redeeming qualities. atsumu?? none ! 

im kidding y’all he’s the cutest i would die to have him as my roommate

he’s so 

energetic? 

your first night as roommates he just waltzes into your room and drags you out to the living room where the tv is already set up, two large pizzas and so many wedges have been ordered, and drinks <3 

spends the entire time getting to know you

he learns to live with you really easily tbh like he adapts so quick

he’s so used to sharing bc he’s a twin, so nothing ever properly bothers him 

he can’t cook, but he does watch you and tries to learn from you

he’ll do very basic things like you can leave breakfast safely to him

after minimum 2 months of practice 

he likes to be very involved and likes to involve you just as much 

he’s not nosy he’s just curious leave him be 🥺

there is always one day a month where it’s just the two of you going out 

to like a carnival 

amusement park

ice skating 

all that stuff. it’s necessary 

i need to clarify that 3 am drives to get mcdonalds take out is a very regular thing with atsumu 

driving up a hill and sitting on the hood of your car while you get some nuggets and stare at the city skyline beneath you

immaculate vibes 

a really fun roommate tbh no regrets with this one you will never feel like shit and even if you do

what are the 3 am drives for amiright 😻

end note; i hope that was good, and that the requester and everyone else enjoyed that!! like always, requests are open <333

thank you to everyone that’s voted about the smau thing! i’ll wait a little while longer before deciding who won, and hopefully, i’ll have the first few chapters up soon!! mwah <3

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo headcanons #oikawa x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa headcanons #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi headcanons #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu headcanons #miya atsumu headcanons

[taecalikook]

When the sea sleeps

summary : marriage should be based on love, but it’s not really the case with you and Seokjin. what’s more beneficial than two person who sworn off romances to get married out of obligation, right? but you should have known better, that keeping your heart straight from wanting someone like Kim Seokjin is next to impossible.

{fake marriage! au, strangers to lovers!au}

pairing : kim seokjin x reader

genre : major tooth rotting fluff, crack, smut(?)

word count : 23.720 (one-shot)

warning! mention of period and masturbation, daddy kink, big cock! seokjin, teasing, cock sucking, rough blowjob, deep throat, nipple play, oral (female receiving), riding, cum play, major fluffy love talk (?), dry hump, infidelity mentions, etc. ((omg))

“Hi, I am in the mart near our apartment. Anything you want?”

“Yes, please. I think we ran out of toothpaste and cleaning liquid. And can you get the usual donuts as well? Thank you.” Your husband replies meekly from the other side of the call. You hum in agreement, noting the order. 

“Will you be home soon?” You ask mundanely, a question based out of routinity instead of wanting an answer. Well, that’s just how it is with Seokjin.

“I don’t think so. Might have to stay late for work. You should head to bed first.”

“Okay, then. See you.” You nod and cut the call, shoving the phone to your pocket.

It’s been like this for the past two and a half years with Seokjin. Meeting him after being introduced by your mother, getting married after six months of vague dating, and then living rather as a roommate than husband and wife in your small apartment. Life has been good.

Well, it’s not like you are married for love.

Seokjin is 33 years old this year, and you are 31. Years ago, you weren’t really interested in marriage. You were fully capable of living on your own, not really interested in love and that’s about it. Even so, your mother never stopped sending you lists of men she’s going to introduce you to—but you quickly shut her off by busying yourself with work and all. 

Yet no matter how heartless you might be, seeing your mother crying her heart out before bed for god to give you a good husband and family, you finally caved and agreed to one blind date. She couldn’t be happier to give you the name of your suitor. 

Kim Seokjin. A 31 years old, living in his own apartment, working in a local bank as a manager. 

When you first heard about him, there’s no outstanding or over the top qualities he possessed, and probably that’s how you prefer him to be. Yet when you saw him first, there’s literally nothing else you preferred him to be.

“I’m sorry for this, but… I actually have no interest in marriage.”

He thought you would be slapping him across the face after saying such a ridiculous statement on the first meeting, yet when your face lightened up, he was not less than confused. 

“Me too! I only did this because of my mother.” You squealed in delight of finding the person that shares your pain. “I never intend to get married myself.” 

“God, I was scared you’ll take this the wrong way.” He finally sighed in relief, was afraid of offending you. “My mother, she is.. sick right now, and she has never stopped saying that she wants to see me married before she dies.”

“I understood that. And I’m sorry, I hope she’ll be fine soon.” You sincerely wished him well. As far as you were concerned, Seokjin looked like a great guy. He deserved better, anyway, and high chance he would be a good friend. It’s not often to see someone not too desperate to chase love after reaching your age.

After another hour talking about anything but yourself, Seokjin reaches out for the bill. “Are you up for desserts?” He asked with a thin smile, and you nod happily, thinking about the sweets you were about to consume.

That evening, when your mother asked what happened with the date, you told her that she shouldn’t expect more about Seokjin. Yet the day after, Seokjin messaged you asking for a second date, your mother was over the moon. And that was how you spent another six months in a vague relationship with Seokjin, where it seemed like both of you were serious, yet there’s no feelings attached. Seokjin was a best friend, and an outstanding listener, but that’s about it. 

One day, Seokjin asked about the idea of marrying you, whether you would detest the idea. And strangely, you didn’t. The week after, Saturday night you were just sitting in his apartment eating his homemade dishes, Seokjin asked whether you wanted him to marry you. After setting a few basic rules, and just like that you agree. 

That’s how you’ve been living with a bestfriend-like-husband.

Sex is absolutely off limit, and not that Seokjin has initiated it before. You are sleeping in the same bed, but Seokjin generously chooses the giant king bed that is rather disproportionate to the whole room to ensure both of you have personal space in bed. In the morning, Seokjin usually cooks, and you’ll take turns cleaning the apartment. You’ll water the small plants near the window, changing your bed sheet, and cleaning your wedding photo from dust. 

On Saturday or Sunday, both of you will have brunch together in the nearest cafe then lounge around watching netflix on your large TV. Once every month he’ll have a drink with fellow friends or you’ll meet up with your best friends, and meet with your parents or in-laws. 

Living with Seokjin is a series of routinity, and you actually don’t mind. Maybe you're already in the age when you are surreptitious, and had enough of surprises. 

After taking a long warm bath and getting inside your comfy sheets, you settle for a while in silence until a name comes up on your screen. Your mother-in-law is calling. You abruptly  rise to sit, pressing the green button. “Hi, mother. How are you doing?”

“I’m very great now listening to my precious daughter’s voice!” She gleefully squeals, strangely energized. You glance at the clock on your nightstand. It’s already ten. Now it reminds you Seokjin’s not home yet. “Seokjin’s father is having a birthday lunch this Saturday. You can come right? Do come by eleven, okay?” 

“Ah, I see. We will, mom.” You smile, internally noting the event to let Seokjin reserve his time. The talks then continue with your condition, whether you’re well or having sickness whatsoever—you know she actually means to ask if you’re going to give her a grandchild anytime soon. You answer demurely, not that it surprises you as your own mother has been going on and on and on about it as well. But how can you say that when you haven’t even kissed him more than five times in the past two and a half years?

But to think about it, Seokjin really has a great self-control if he really is not having an affair—for the lack of better terms—outside your marriage. Not that it would upset you whatsoever, it’s just not something you’d rather discuss with each other. Both of you agreed it would be okay to do whatever you both want, as long as you’re open to each other—but so far, nothing has implied otherwise. You somehow feel an urgency to talk about it, as you know Seokjin is a healthy man who must have his own needs as well—the one you can’t help with. 

After the call ends, Seokjin enters your bedroom at the same time, looking crumpled as ever. The top two buttons on his shirt are undone, face looks beyond exhaustion, and… the fly of his trousers is opened. You are unable to hold a sly smile.

“Are you tired?” You greet, and Seokjin nods, sighing deeply. 

“Today was pretty shitty. A client was being a jackass as per usual.” Seokjin throws his bag on the table, taking off his suit. “I think I’m going to take a long hot shower. You can sleep first.”

You hum. “Okay. I turned up the water heater, so you can go in now.”

“Thank you, Y/N. You’re a lifesaver.” Seokjin sighs in relief.

“You’re welcome. And Saturday, your father is having a birthday lunch and your mother asked us to come. Do arrange your schedule. And Seokjin?” You ask, and Seokjin looks up to you in confusion, waiting for you to continue.

“Your fly is open.”

“Fuck.” He curses and looks down, immediately zipping it close. “I hope I didn’t embarrass myself. And I swear it was nothing, I may have forgotten to close it in the restroom before going home.”

“It’s okay. You can do whatever you want, anyway.” You heartily giggle in amusement—with lots of subtle meaning behind words—settling back on your side of bed and hearing Seokjin softly closes the door behind him.

*

It’s already Friday, and somehow you still feel anxious. The day is closing soon, and tomorrow you’ll be meeting your in-laws for a family lunch, yet you are aware it’s not that simple. You have to pretend you have a real, conservative marriage with Seokjin, and it stresses you out. Not because you have to pretend to be in love—you’d rather think you’re relatively good at that, but having to lie to his parent’s face that Seokjin’s dick has ever entered you to get them a grandchild is nauseating.

“Why are you so tense, Y/N?” Hoseok chuckles, tapping your shoulder. “It’s Friday night. You should be all smiles.”

“Just meeting a few of my in-laws tomorrow. I’m a bit… nervous. That’s all.”

Jane who is sitting beside you immediately joins in. “Ah, that’s hard. My in-laws are jackasses, hence I’d rather steer clear from any family meetings. Why are you nervous? Are they annoying bastards as well?”

“No, they’re not like that.” You shake your head, confused on how to explain that you are not having a real marriage with Seokjin like most married couples. You’d rather not. “Well, I think I’m just having cold feet. That’s all.”

“You should come with us, then.” Hoseok offers with a whole ass large smile which shows his perfect teeth. “We’re having a drink tonight. No worry, we’re not going all the way to night. Just a slow one. You’ll be fine.”

That’s how you agreed to attend with a few of your peers, notably Hoseok and Jane who are your teammates, Namjoon from Legal, Jungkook from Accounting, and a few other friends you are only on name basis with. It surely started slow, and you gave Seokjin a short call before entering the bar. 

“Seokjin, hi. I’m out for drinks with friends, I’ll be a bit late, okay? But not too late though, only for two hours, three hours max.” You smile at Jungkook who is asking you to come. You gesture for him to enter before you. “I’ll give you a call when I’m done.”

“I see. Where are you drinking exactly?” He asks calmly. You quickly mention the name and address of the bar. “Okay. Let me know when you’ll be coming home, I’ll get you.”

“Ah, it’s okay! I think Hoseok or Jungkook can drive me home. No worry.”

“I see. Be safe, okay? And don’t get too hammered, we still have that lunch tomorrow.” Seokjin calmly reminds you. Probably due to the fact that you’re that quick to lose control, and the struggles he had to face on a regular basis to deal with drunk you.

Something inside you stirs at the remembrance of tomorrow’s event, but you quickly shrug it. You’re drinking to forget, anyway.  “Of course. See you!”

As it should’ve been easily predicted, you’re really loose with your alcohol control, especially with the great atmosphere and company. With Hoseok and Jane, one drink becomes two, and then four, and then in a blink, you lose count. You really should’ve predicted it, now drunkenly blabbering whatever inside your mind. Yet at once, you stumble on your seat and nearly fall until Jungkook catches you by the waist.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook checks up on you, staring at your blushing face, eyes hooded like completely feeling the alcohol dancing in your spine. “You look drunk, Y/N. Maybe you should cut the alcohol.”

“Yeah, I think I should.” You sigh, resting the glass back on the table. You rub your forehead. “I shouldn’t be drinking, since tomorrow I’m meeting my in-laws, and it’s.. fucking.. suck! You know why, Jungkook?” Jungkook shakes his head, amusement visible in his eyes while looking at you.

“Because they’ll keep asking about grandchildren.” You scoff. “They’ll keep wanting me to have a child, especially with the fact that Seokjin’s younger brother already has three of those. But how can I say it to them?”

“Why? Is there any reason you don’t want to have kids? Are you waiting?”

You hit the table with your fisted hand, aggrieved. “It’s not that. How can I when.. when.. I haven’t even had sex with my own husband?” 

“What?” Jungkook really couldn’t believe his ear. You have been married for more than two years and haven’t had sex with your husband? How is that even possible is beyond him. “Are you serious? Why?”

“Y/N.” 

Jungkook looks back at the source of the voice, finding Seokjin’s dark eyes looking at your figure, resting your head on the table. Jungkook immediately lets go of his hand on your skin. “Ah, sorry.”

“It’s okay. She must be drunk.” Seokjin sighs, circling his hands around your waist. Not that he didn’t expect it, but he feels extremely uncomfortable with the fact that someone else is aware of your little arrangement, especially with it being someone he doesn’t even know besides a name. “I’ll take her now. Here.” He says, slapping a few bills for your drinks.

Not even muttering goodbyes for Jungkook or other drunk people on the table, Seokjin instantly takes you back to his car. A minute of silence he’s staring at your face, Seokjin lightly flicks your head in annoyance before taking off, after ensuring you’re well secured on the passenger side.

*

“I’m sorry.”

The moment you’re awake, the memory instantly hits you like a truck inside your throbbing head. Constantly shoving drinks up your throat, dancing with Jane and Hoseok, and little talk with Jungkook. You also faintly make out Seokjin’s face getting you from the bar in your memory—right before passing out. God, it’s totally a mess. You really should avoid drinks again at all costs now.

“Are you awake?” Seokjin calmly asks while stirring breakfast on the pan. You nod, standing beside him. “The soup will be ready in a second. You can get our plates.”

Realizing that the talk is about to happen, you silently follow his order and prepare a few of the utensils on the table. You sit down to wait for Seokjin to join, and when he does, you are still waiting for him to open the conversation. In the midst of eating in silence, Seokjin suddenly breaks the silence.

“Do you want to have a child?”

Out of shock, you literally choke on your soup, the liquid entered the wrong pipe. Yet even when tapping your back lightly, he still has the nerves to laugh. 

“That’s not funny!” You scowl in annoyance, gulping the water Seokjin offered. Your husband is a total jerk, you really should’ve known.

“It is. And I really need to know, since last night you were talking to your friend about our sexless marriage in such a heart wrenching manner I just had to ask.”

You are silenced in guilt with the mention of last night, resting back the glass. “It’s not like that.” 

Seokjin cocks his head. “So what is it like?”

“No, I was just stressed about the fact that our families are pressuring us to have a child.” You sigh, never actually telling Seokjin about the pressure on your shoulder. “My mother even once asked me to consult with Obstetricians if my eggs are not working. Why didn’t she doubt your sperm instead?! Annoying.”

“Y/N. You really should’ve told me if my mother and yours has been pressing you to have a child.” Seokjin speaks in good nature, even with a hint of scolding. “I will let her know that it’s our decision, and we’ll have kids whenever we are ready.”

You nod. “Thank you. And I’m very sorry, by the way. Yesterday was a bit much, I know.”

“It’s fine.” He says, tapping the top of your head. “I’ll take a bath first, and we’ll go about an hour. Okay?”

And as predicted, the one that welcomes you and Seokjin even from far is Taehyun, Taehyung’s five years old eldest son. He runs with his two little feet with a light shout of glee until he clings to Seokjin’s thigh. “Auntie! Uncle! Hi!”

“Hi, Taehyun! How are you?!” Seokjin instantly takes him by the waist, bringing him up to his grasp and kisses his lumpy cheek. You are unable to hide a swooned smile. “Are you a smart boy now? Have you made friends in kindergarten?”

“Of course!” He squeals, and proceeds to tell him about his exciting kindergarten stories. You walk in, immediately welcomed by Tasha, Taehyung’s wife in a bear hug. “Sister-in-law! How are you doing? You look great.”

“I’m fine, Tasha, thanks.” You giggle in delight. You have always been close with Tasha, as she is a wonderful woman and a good friend as well. “You look amazing. And god, that hair is exquisite.”

Tasha laughs while sheepishly fixing her hair of light purple highlights. “Got a few dirty looks from my boss and Taehyung’s mother, but it’s all worth it I guess. Who said mother of three can’t rock highlights, right?”

“Absolutely!”

“You two beautiful ladies should come in.” Seokjin’s father beams at the two, gesturing to enter the house. “My wife has already prepared loads and loads of food, so I hope you’re hungry.”

“Happy birthday, father.” You smile, giving the old man a hug. “I hope this year is the best year that brings happiness to your life.”

“Well, a wish that this is not my last year in life is sufficient, but that is well welcomed as well.” He jokes, as the three of you enter the home. “Thanks anyway, Y/N. Greatly appreciated.”

“My granddaughters!” Your mother-in-law literally shouts, kissing you both on the cheek. “You both look amazing. My two sons should be thanking their lucky stars for having you both as a wife.”

“We are, mother. Every night.” Taehyung appears on your side, giving you a side hug of welcome. “How are you, sister-in-law? You’re doing great, right?”

“Amazing, Taehyung. Thank you for asking. I hope you’re well rested while taking care of the lovely miniatures of you.” You look at the three children, Taehyun, the twin Taejin and Taerin playing with their toys in the middle of the living room with your husband. 

“The sitter helps, of course.” Taehyung giggles, and Tasha elbows him with a scowl. Your mother quickly wraps the heart warming greetings and guides the whole family to be seated for the lunch prepared. And boy is the dining table packed with countless foods, not even including the dessert on the small table in the corner of the room. You just hope this won’t go to waste.

“No worries, we’ll be packing this as well to have it distributed to neighboring orphanages along with a few other donations.” Seokjin’s mother beams, sensing your worry after looking onto the countless plates.

An hour passes by quickly with the family digging on the delish in front of them. While chatting among themselves, Taehyung and Tasha hand their own gift to his father. “Here it is, father. Happy 65th birthday, hope you are always happy and healthy.” He beams, hugging his father. The large package is heavy on his hand, and your father in law laughs in glee.

It was a beautiful sight, yet you feel terribly uneasy. You haven’t gotten him anything, and Seokjin never discussed this before. How can you forget? God, you’ve really shame yourself and Seokjin in front of his family.

“What is this?” The old man questions and rips the wrapper.

“Open it.” Father quickly opens the package, and sees multiple items neatly stuffed in the box. “Healthy supplements and tea, warm jacket, acupuncture mat, few other things that can help you live longer.” Taehyung grins. The old man rolls his eyes, but nonetheless looks content with the gift.

“Thank you, son! Will put this into a good use.”

Amongst your panic of reaching out to Seokjin beside you, he instead takes turns in handing the gift of his own, an envelope, which catches you by surprise. He never talked about bringing a gift before. “This is from me and Y/N, father. Happy birthday.”

“What is this?” Your father curiously opens the envelope. At once, he literally squeals, unable to hide the delight in his face. “A two way ticket to Japan? Son, this is too much.”

“It’s not. It’s the least we can do for you and mother.” Seokjin says good-naturedly, like the precious son he is. You stare at him strangely. “Y/N and I also arranged a few stops that could be great to improve your health as well. No worries, there will be a guide as you’ll be on tour.”

“Thank you, son!” Your father and mother take turns hugging both you and Seokjin, and you only reply while in a hazen state, don’t know how or what to feel. As long as you know, it all comes from his pocket, and it’s his money to spend. You don’t even know why you feel weirded out. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Can you at least pretend my gifts are worthy too?” Taehyung jokes, shaking his head in faux disappointment. “The health supplements cost a fortune too, father! You’re being too mean with your reaction.”

“I’m just so happy my two sons are happy with their own family.” The old man beams in delight. “And your mother prepared a gift for you and Seokjin too, Y/N. Darling, you can give it to them, okay? I’m going to the restroom.”

“Why aren’t you giving it to me too?” Taehyung whines to his mother as Tasha elbows him for the nth time already. 

“You don’t get one because you don’t need it, Taehyung.” 

Seokjin’s mother quickly shoves you a gift with the largest of smiles, and truth to be told, you instantly feel uneasy. A gift in which you need and Taehyung don’t? An easy guess instantly comes to your senses. It must be it. There’s no other way.

“We’ll open this when we get home.” You turn your head to Seokjin, seeing how expressionless he has become. Is he angry? He swiftly takes the gift from you, resting it on the other side of the room.

“Ah, it’s good to. Just be careful using it, okay? It’ll be very helpful with the conception, trust me. It’s been passed down with generations.” Seokjin’s mother winks, looking very satisfied, yet you feel queasy, feeling like you’re soon puking your heart out. On your side, you can detect how silent Taehyung and Tasha have become, and you swear you never felt this pathetic and miserable before.

“Thank.. you.”

Seokjin holds you by the hand with his face is beyond enraged now—yet you know he could never be angry with his parents. He’s a mama's boy, and you like it that he is, but you really feel like going home and crying your heart out. But you have to endure longer hours feeling like total shit with your in-laws around.

“Father, mother, Y/N and I had to go home. I just remember we had stuff to do at home.” Seokjin curtly says, and you whip your head at him in surprise. You mostly did not expect it. 

“Why? You don’t really have to do it right now—but if you really have to, it’s okay.” Your mother giggles, content with the idea that you and your husband need to leave because both of you are going to fuck and give them grandchildren. God, your head literally throbs with the misunderstanding.

“Y/N, get to the car.” Seokjin mutters tensely, there is not a hint of emotion beside morse in his tone. “Mom, can we talk?”

“Seokjin, no.” You whisper while tugging on his sleeve. “Don’t do it.”

“Y/N, get to the car.” He repeats, like he is not up for any negotiation. You are scared of what he’s going to say to his mother. Is he going to say about the fact that your marriage is faux and is only done to please her? But that’s not what you want, just thinking about it makes you sick. “You can leave the gift here.”

Mildly confused at the sudden tense situation, your mother-in-law silently nods and complies to talk with her son. Against his order, you pick up the gift and move to give Taehyung, Tasha and their three children a parting hug. 

“Hey, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” Tasha worriedly says, and you nod with a strained smile. “Be safe in driving home.”

“We will. Taehyung, thanks.” You hug the pouting guy, as he gives you a squeezing hug of consolation. 

“Our parents can be prodding like that. I am very sorry.”

Walking back into the room finding the confusing tense, Seokjin’s father looks at you about to say goodbye. “Are you leaving?” 

“Yes. I’m afraid we have something coming up.” You forced a smile, yet you know your father-in-law completely understands the whole situation.

“Okay then. Give this old man a parting hug.” The kind man then hugs you dearly like you’re a daughter he never had. “Thank you for coming. And I’m very sorry.”

“It’s nothing! Everything is great.” Like an idiot, you still try to lie through your teeth in front of the wise man—it’s ridiculous. “Happy birthday, father.”

Walking inside Seokjin’s car, you patiently wait another ten minutes until he comes in with an unreadable expression. And when he sits beside you, he heave a deep breath. 

“Is everything okay? What did you say?” You fret in panic.

“Nothing much. That it’s already tough for both of us now, and we’ll have kids whenever we want to.” Seokjin hums, glancing at the gift his mother gave yet refusing to comment. “I’m very sorry that I haven’t realized this before. I know it must be stressing you out.”

“Not really. I’m just.. tired.” You hollowly laugh, Seokjin slowly taking off the house onto the street. Spending a few minutes staring at the gift secured on your lap, you mutter—more to yourself. 

“Do you think we should just have a child?” 

At the unexpected question, Seokjin glances at you. Next five minutes are spent in deep silence before...

“Do you love me?”

The questions really create a ripple of shock in your whole body. You literally have no idea whether he’s being serious or not.

“W-what?”

“I don’t want to have a child when both of us know there is no love here. We both don’t love each other.” Seokjin mutters lowly, eyes trained on the road. “Let’s not put more innocent people into misery.”

Misery.

Misery.

You don’t know why that word hurts more than you thought it would, coming out from Seokjin’s mouth.

*

As expected, the things between you and Seokjin have become pretty frosty. Sunday morning, he excused himself to go fishing with Yoongi—his best friend of ten years, and you were thankful that you do not have to waste another second in his presence. Being with him is hard enough, not that you have to be reminded of the hurtful things he said.

Misery.

Yes, misery indeed. Having to marry someone you don’t have feelings for. 

But you thought he was a friend. Not that you chained him into this, and he was the one asking your hand in loveless marriage. He is being a total jackass. And you never should’ve said such nonsense. Having a child with someone you don’t love? Seriously? Even couples in love can end up in divorce because of kids—much less your ridiculous marriage.

And it sucks that this suffocates your whole being yet you can’t tell anyone, since nobody really knows you don’t have any attachment to your husband.

Well, beside...

“Hello? Is this Y/N?”

Listening to the velvety voice on the other side of the call, you instinctively gulp. Are you seriously going to talk to someone about this, more less Jeon Jungkook? You must be quite desperate. “Hi, Jungkook! I’m sorry to interrupt you. Is this.. an alright time?”

Jungkook chuckles on the other side. “Well, not really, but I can make it alright for you.”

You groan, instantly retracting your own will to talk about it to him. “You seriously did not just flirt with a married woman, right?”

“Of course not! Who do you take I am.” He giggles in mirth, and you roll your eyes. You really made a mistake by calling him. “I’m a bit busy now, but will be free in around… an hour. Do you want to meet?”

“I didn’t exactly say what I wanted to ask for.”

“I just know.” Jungkook hums, and you literally can imagine his annoying smirk on the other side of the call. “I’ll text you the details.”

You spend another seconds in silence, but reply nonetheless. There’s no harm in meeting a friend. Right? 

“Sure.”

*

“So let me get this straight. You—in this advanced, 21st century—agreed to a marriage where the both of you don’t even have little bit of interest in marriage? And all because your parents want you to?”

Now that Jungkook is saying it in front of your face, it does sound foolish.

“Is it.. weird?”

“What the fuck, Y/N. It’s not just weird. It’s crazy.” Jungkook scoffs, feeling the firsthand headache of dealing with the situation you are currently in. “I don’t know how much of a good daughter you are, but this is nuts. You are seriously chaining yourself to a relationship just out of pity, and because of someone else. You know that phrase ‘having only love is not enough in marriage’? You don’t even have that.”

Your eyebrows furrow, quite dejected that Jungkook really has to phrase it like that. The urge to defend yourself rushes unto you. “Yes, I know what we are doing now is silly, but I actually have no regret. Seokjin is a great guy, a good companion as well, and it’s basically just a living arrangement. I’m good.”

He sighs at your stubbornness. “You know, you could’ve been with someone else that you truly love. Did you realize that?”

“I won’t.” You answer almost instantly, doting the cheesecake in the middle of your table. “I’m not interested. I am living well on my own, and I don’t really think I have anyone for me. I am comfortable with myself.”

“And why’d you trade that precious solitude of yours with someone you don’t even love?” Jungkook challenges, and you take a deep breath to calm yourself.

“Because if that’s how I can make someone else happy, I would.” You answer, looking back at Jungkook’s prodding eyes. “My mother, my father, have taken care of problematic me since I was a little kid. And now all they wanted is for me to have someone that cares for me, and who I deeply care for. And if getting married is the only way they can live and die happily… I’d do anything.”

Jungkook is easily silenced at your unexpected outburst, but it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulder after saying what you truly feel to someone else. It feels almost relieving, the fog living in your shoulder lightens.

“But you know they’d truly be disappointed if you are lying to them, right? Lying that you are happy. Lying that you love your husband.” He observes you in concern. You smile lopsidedly.

“Well, maybe in my case, a little white lie won’t hurt.” You whisper to yourself, sipping on your beverage.

*

After hanging out a bit longer with Jungkook, you found yourself comfortable being around him. He is a great guy, albeit annoying and too curious for his own good, he is nice and easy to talk to. You were never really close to him, and usually a rather closed person, but Jungkook is too good at getting you out of your shell. 

Walking out from his car, you are stunned when finding Seokjin is also getting out of his own, about to enter your apartment building. He mirrors your expression, a paper bag filled with foods and in his right grasp is his favorite donuts box. 

“Hi.” He greets with cocked eyebrows. “I bought meat to cook for dinner.”

“Ah, I already ate dinner.” You guiltily scratch your nape, glancing to the car beside you. Jungkook is just about to drop you off, but you have no idea why he is not leaving yet. “You went home from Yoongi’s?”

“Yes.” Seokjin points to the car. “Who is it? Did you meet with friends?”

“Yes. I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you. But he’s just about to leave—”

“Hi man.” Jungkook is somehow already standing right beside you as you flinch in your spot, and he offers his hand. “I guess I never properly introduced myself. I’m Jungkook, Y/N’s workmate.”

“Ah, Jungkook. We met before, right? I am sorry, yesterday was quite chaotic, I haven’t properly introduced myself.” Jin smiles benevolently, shaking the younger man’s hand. “I’m Seokjin, the husband. Do you want to come in? I’m cooking steak for dinner.”

“Nah, I already had dinner with Y/N. But I’ll take you up on that, though. Let’s get dinner another time.” Jungkook agrees, and gives you a light tap in the back as a goodbye. “Got to go, but I’ll see you Monday!”

“Bye, Jungkook.” You reply meekly and turn back to Seokjin, staring back at you with a strange expression. “Are you good?”

“Yup.” Seokjin smiles impartially, shifting his expression. “Let’s get in, you’ll catch a cold.”

*

In a way, Seokjin realizes that something changes with you ever since coming back from his father’s birthday party. You were usually a chirpy, active person, unbothered to speak your mind, talking about Hoseok or your patronizing boss and made the apartment as loud as possible with your late night exercise—yet here you are, silently sitting down on your side of bed, watching your favorite series from phone. 

And you clearly stated how you hate watching with your phone that he knows you are avoiding him—not wanting him to join watching it with you in the living room. And what irks him is this passive aggressive thing has been going on since last week, and it’s already Thursday. He desperately needs the old you back.

“Why are you watching it on the phone?” Seokjin asks, a vague irritation slipped in his tone. “The TV is good to watch. And you hate watching it on the phone.”

You are confused to say the least, blinking your eyes at him. Your finger pauses the show. He remembers that? “Uh.. I’m just… feeling like laying in bed while watching. Is there something wrong?”

“No, don’t lie to yourself now. You are clearly avoiding me.” Seokjin hisses, unable to hide anymore of his annoyance. “And this has been going on for a week. You didn’t even let me know if you’re coming home, and rejected that one time I said I’ll get you from the office. What’s wrong?”

“I told you it’s nothing. My work is the opposite direction of your way to home. It’ll be easier to go home directly.” You reason stubbornly, trying to make sense—even if you know you really are avoiding him. You don’t want to let him know that you are hurt by the things he said, and to be frank, looking at him pissess you off a bit. Like right now.

“Y/N, you know that we are too old for this shit. You need to tell me right now if I did something wrong.” He states earnestly. You roll your eyes, not feeling to drag the conversation and position yourself back to watching.

“You did nothing wrong. It’s just me, maybe I’m going on menopause.”

Seokjin huffs, looking at you already settling back to watching—yet he is too determined to end all this bullshit that he discards the phone you’re watching onto the bed. You gape at him, dumbfounded that he really did that to get your serious attention. “Stop being a child and talk to me like adults.” He scowls.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! I told you It’s nothing.” You shout, trying to get your phone back yet missing due to Seokjin’s quick wit of taking and hanging it far above his head. And poor you, that are seriously no match to his height.

“Give me back my phone, you jerk!”

“Might be a jerk but at least I’m not a 30 years old woman having menopause.” He mocks your nonsense, yet you are too resentful to give a shit that you literally climb on bed and jump to leech your whole weight on him like a freaking koala. Seokjin literally yells at your attempt of getting stable by clutching on his hair, pulling it to whichever direction you prefer. “Ah, get off me! It hurts and you’re heavy!”

“I don’t care! You’re being a jerk, and I’m a misery anyway, right? I’m just fulfilling my duties!” You howl, shaking your body that he shrieks, losing his balance and falls on your large bed. And like how most sleazy cringy telenovela, he just had to settle on top of you, but for one teeny different, his whole weight is now crushing your being like a sweet revenge. 

“Get off me! You’re heavy.” You screech like a petulant child, punching the guy on his broad ass shoulder. After a whole minute of finally begging him to get off, Seokjin finally gets on his elbow, giving a bit of space for you to breathe.

“I apologize that I upset you.” He gazes at you in all sincerity that literally leaves you holding your breath. “It was not true when I said that misery thing. You are not a misery. You are a blessing. The fact that we are married could be the greatest thing that happens to me, and I’ll never trade it for anything else.”

You are silenced, waiting for him to continue. “I was just pissed off with myself that I was insensitive about how everyone is pressuring you, and you are struggling because of this. I actually never thought about those snarks, and I thought you would too.” Seokjin softly claims, and you are near to tears that he literally speaks like honey. “I just thought it was off limits. I guess we should’ve talked more about this before.”

You sigh, looking down. “I do think so. And I’m sorry too—I guess I should’ve just said what’s bothering my mind.” You breathe out with a hint of guilt. “I’m sorry for acting like this. I guess that misery thing just got to me more than I thought it would, and.. yeah. Let’s communicate better.”

“We should.” He hums in delight. “You are cuter when you are less grumpy. You know that?”

“I am cute in any way possible.” You sassily reply, expecting a snarky comment as retaliation yet Seokjin’s lips curl in amusement.

“Well, I can’t comment on that.” He beams, and at that  your heart literally skips a beat. or two. or more than you can count. “I want to watch what you’re watching. Let’s watch it on the TV, your eyes must be hurting doing all these grumpy behavior.”

“Yeah, I do think so. It’s like.. exhausting.” You rub your temple. “I hate being crabby.”

“Yes. It doesn’t suit you. At all.” Seokjin pulls both your cheeks in different directions with sparkling eyes. You groan. “So don’t do that to your husband, okay?”

At that, you peer at him silently while he’s searching the series you love on the TV. The way he is able to easily soothe you is.. pissing you off.

“By the way, a new movie is premiering next week and I bought us a ticket. Wanna watch it with me?” He turns to you, still with the same adorable smile. And it literally sucks that something weakens inside you at that smile.

Ugh, there’s gotta be something wrong with you.

*

Another week goes and there you are, Thursday night about to head out after a whole day of work. Tidying your desk, suddenly a voice stops your wandering mind—it belongs to your desk mate.

“Why are you so happy today? You’re all whistling and it starts creeping me out.” Hoseok snickers, suddenly peering close to you. “Did you get a good dick down yesterday?”

“What the hell, Hoseok?” You groan, closing your laptop with a loud thump. “It’s not it. Can’t a girl just be happy without any reason?”

“No. That means you're crazy. And it’s coming from Y/N, the grumpies person on the planet.” Jane titters, joining your conversation. You started to doubt what kind of connection they had whenever it concerns you. “You must had a good sex yesterday. You know, I am curious on how Seokjin is in bed. Is he a bit dom? Looks a bit kinky, I have to say.”

“Of course! The way he acts is a complete giveaway, he must have a choking kink, or maybe bondage. Daddy kink is absolutely, by default.” Hoseok responds with curiosity. Jane snickers as you are busy gasping for air.

“And his dick?! You know, the first time I saw him, I immediately knew this guy has a big dick energy. I bet his is girthy—”

“Shut up!” You literally stop her from speaking, your palm secured to close on her mouth—yet unable to manage the blush weeping your whole face to neck. You feel hot and bothered. “Stop talking about such things! I am just in a good mood. Ugh, you two are seriously perverts.”

“Yes, okay, we’ll stop before you burst your flaming ear.” Hoseok singsongs, utterly amused by your reaction. You shot him a look. “By the way, tomorrow is a long weekend. Do you both have any plans?”

“Besides taking care of my child? Nah, bro. Might have sex if he’s lucky and stop running his mouth too much. And we had to stay in my husband’s family house. Ugh.” Jane rolls her eyes whilst taking her own belongings. “I’m just happy we get to have dinner tonight. Tomorrow is going to be exhausting as fuck.”

“Dinner? What dinner?” You are weirded out, most absolutely did not expect to promise any dinner. 

“My birthday dinner, of course!”

You whip your head towards the guy in a fancy red suit, completely looking dashing and silly at the same time. Well, that’s what you expect of him anyway, wearing such eye catching outfit in the middle of workday. “I sent the invites this Monday, and you said yes, Y/N.” He continues. “And you didn’t even congratulate me! How mean. But I’ll let you off since you’re cute.”

“But—but, I can’t! I have something else to do..” You stutter. Jungkook furrows his eyebrows at you.

“What? Watching netflix and eating popcorn? Nah, bro. You’re coming.”

“But, I’m serious! I’m sorry, but Seokjin is already downstairs, and he’s waiting for me. I can’t.. just leave him behind.” You weren’t going to say this, but Seokjin said he was craving lobster and asked you to go on a dinner with him. You really didn’t remember you had agreed to an appointment before with your workmate.

Jungkook stares at you in mild surprise. “He’s in the lobby? What happened with the two of you? I thought—”

“What are you saying, Jungkook? Isn’t it normal for a husband to get her wife from work?” Hoseok chuckles, and at once Jungkook is like awakened from his hallucination. 

“Yes, of course. My bad.” He nervously chuckles, avoiding Hoseok’s eyes. “But he should come! It’s only going to be the four of us, and Namjoon. He’s waiting in the lobby too.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a great idea…”

“Seokjin should come! It would be fun, you know. I want to have dinner with him.” Jane smirks, and you sigh loudly, knowing that this would end in a huge disaster and you’ll end up regretting. Yet you find yourself thinking of what to say to Seokjin. 

“Hi, Seokjin!”

Seokjin opens his window, smiling courtesy at Jane standing beside you. You remember Seokjin met few of your friends from work before. “Hi, Jane! Nice seeing you again. Are you heading home?”

“Not really. We are going to a restaurant! With Y/N too. You should come.”

He laughs, glancing at you. “Really? You didn’t say you had something to do.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot.” You frown in guilt. “It’s okay, I know we had plans—”

“No, I didn’t say that. We can come to the dinner with your friends too, if you want.” Seokjin chuckles, smiling dearly at you. You feel your breath hasten under his ministry. “Do you want that?”

Clearing your throat, you answer in nerves. “Yes, please. I promised to attend before, I guess I just forgot and thought I am free tonight.”

“Ah, I guess that’s why you’re all sooo chirpy today, aren’t you, Y/N?! I thought your teeth were about to fall off.” Jane beams, exhilarated as she elbows you. “Turns out you have a special occasion with your husband and forgot Jungkook’s birthday dinner.”

“That’s not it.” You glare at her, but she shrugs meaningfully.

“Okay, you two should head out. I’m with Hoseok.” Jane smiles and points at the blue car which you identify as Hoseok’s. “See you guys in a few minutes!”

“Sure.”

There is only silence in the car, when suddenly Seokjin breaks it with a question.

“Is it for Jungkook? That Jungkook—your friend that we met on our apartment?”

You don’t know what’s wrong, but your gut is telling you something is strange with his tone. You clear your throat of sheer awkwardness. “Yes. Today is his birthday, so he said he’d treat us to dinner.”

Seokjin seems uncomfortable. Living together for nearly two years has made you well aware of his small habit and gestures—by the way he clings on his collar, fingers tightening on the wheel as if he’s scared just shows you how he truly feels. At once, you quickly rests your palm on his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. “Are you okay? You look.. nervous. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Waiting for the red light, he heaves a deep breath and closes his eyes. His right hand settles on your hands which were on his shoulder, linking each finger. “I’m fine.” Seokjin sighs deeply, resting both your linked fingers on his thigh. 

“I’m fine.” He repeats.

Now all you can hear is your own irregular heartbeat, with his warm palms against yours. 

And you wonder. What the hell is wrong with yourself?

After arriving, Seokjin still doesn’t let your hand go. And it’s all kinds of confusing, two years of marriage he never acts like now. Not even when going to your parents house, and it leaves you with numerous questions. And with that particular look on his face—it scares the shit out of you.

“Ah, here comes the couple!” Jane giggles, pointing to the empty seats beside her. “You can sit here. Seokjin, meet Namjoon! He’s in Legal.”

Like that, all your friends are engaged in a conversation—while Seokjin, he’s sitting silently with heads hanging low. You glance at him, concerned. “Hey, are you okay? You look a bit off. Do you want me to get you anything?”

“Yes, your husband looks like he’s not really good. Is there anything wrong?” It is Jungkook, resting his wine back on the table. All of the eyes are now on the both of you. “Does this not work for you?”

“No, I’m sorry. Just a bit on the edge, that’s why. Don’t worry.” Seokjin smiles thinly, tapping his palm on the table. You nod hesitantly, regardless of the strangely tense air with him.

Whilst ordering, you are skimming on the menu when Jungkook jumps in. “Y/N, you like the shrimp here, right? You should order it.”

“Yes, I am thinking that too.” You tap your chin, and turn to Seokjin who is still staring far at the menu. “But I want to try the duck too. Seokjin, can’t you order that too? I don’t want to eat too much, I just want to have a bite.”

Seokjin is about to answer when Jungkook jovially interrupts, “Hey, there’s no need for that. You can order all you want. But if you insist, I’m ordering the duck, so you can have mine.”

“It’s okay, I’m having what my wife asked me to. Since I’m her husband. ” Seokjin curtly responds, and you are flabbergasted at how discourteous he sounded. The conversations on the table ended abruptly. 

“I—I see. Suit.. yourself.” Jungkook blinks his eyes, completely bewildered at the hostile response. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be forward.”

You stare at him with multiple emotions rushing inside of you, yet he’s evidently trying to avoid it while shoving drinks down his throat like there’s no tomorrow. 

“You’re driving tonight.” Seokjin mutters to you between drinks, and it sounds more like an order to your ear. There’s definitely something off with him, and you’re terrified of finding out. You’re scared if it will change him, you, and what you both had together.

*

“Are you going to be okay?”

Jungkook glances in concern at your drunk husband beside you, his hand is at the top of your car while you’re on the driver side. “He’s drunk. You sure you’re going to be okay? I can come with you.”

“No, it’s fine.” You reply. “I think he’s just not in a mood today. There must be something at work, I’ll try asking this tomorrow.”

“But I don’t like how jealous he was at me. I was just.. trying to be kind and offer to help. As a friend. And he immediately snaps like that.” Jungkook scowls in irritation. “It was borderline obsessive. And it’s not like you married for love—”

“Jungkook.” You stop him with reprimanding eyes that he stops immediately. 

“I’m sorry.” He lets out a deep breath. “I never told you—or anyone about this, but my sister is a divorcee. Because her husband became obsessed with her.” You know where he is heading and are about to rebut, yet he continues. “I know what you want to say, but I’m just saying this so you’d know. They were in love. But you know it could easily turn to something else.”

“Thank you for your advice, but I know it won’t happen to me—Seokjin is not like that.” You mumble, somehow reminding yourself. It’s the first time Seokjin is like this, both of you were great at keeping boundaries, and were not even in love. You’ll be fine.

Jungkook sighs and smiles weakly, brushing the top of your head. 

“I hope so too. Get home safe, kid.”

*

Waking up, the first thing Seokjin feels is his pulsate, a straight pang to his head. It’s been a long time since he had let himself off the limit and trashed himself until he blacked out, and he regrets every single second. The hazy memory starts to invade his mind—about how rude he had been yesterday, especially to you—and it literally freaks him out that he jumps out of his bed, desperate to explain. But you are not sleeping beside him. Or anywhere in the apartment. 

“Fuck.” Seokjin hisses, bringing his phone and runs to the elevator in such hurries. 

Are you... possibly gone?

“Seokjin, what are you doing here?”

“Y/N. Where have you been?” He questions, a little bit loud.  He’s too caught tapping the elevator button that he doesn’t realize the other lift is opened with you walking out, soaking with sweat. “I wake up and you’re not there. You.. I thought you..”

“What did you think? I was just running a few laps since yesterday’s dinner was a bit much.” You shrug nonchalantly, taking off your earphone. “Aren’t you dizzy after waking up? You shouldn’t be out, though.”

Walking back to your apartment, Seokjin is trailing behind you like a disgruntled puppy—keeping his head down low as both his hands are clasped. “I’m very very sorry, Y/N..”

“What are you sorry for?” You ask, pretending nonchalance. Seokjin sits beside you with a frown on his face. 

“I was being a jerk yesterday? And I drank too much and you must have a hard time dealing with my sorry ass.” 

“Did anything happen? Can I know why you were so pissed off?” You ask carefully, afraid of invading his space. He shrugs.

“Something bothered my mind, that's all. Don’t worry about it.”

Seeing how sullen he has been with himself, you are unable to pull both his chubby cheeks to different directions. He groans loudly with each pull. “Yes, you were such a ill-tempered baby yesterday when you were drunk. Do you know that?”

He nods begrudgingly. “Yes, mother. I won’t do it again.”

“But apologizing isn’t going to solve anything. You know it.” You pretend sulk. “I think I deserve three wishes.”

Seokjin cocks his eyebrows. “Why? Why does it have to be three?” 

“Nah, I watched Alladin and it was good, so I was just copying—but that’s not the point!” You tap the table impatiently. “The point is that you embarrassed me in front of my friend and deserves a punishment. Now say yes to my three wishes.”

Your husband groans, tapping on his forehead. “God, I’m never drinking again. What? What is it that you want?”

“I haven’t really thought about it, actually..” You giggle while scratching your head. Seokjin squint his eyes at you in suspicion. “Can you give me a week to think about it?”

“No.”

“Five days?”

“Right now. Take it or leave it.”

“Okay, by tomorrow!”

“Three wishes all by the end of this day.”

“Fine! You are annoying.” You scowl, tapping your forefinger on your chin. Seokjin grins. “First, I want…lobster for lunch.” 

“Okay.” He holds the laughter upon remembering his yesterday’s request.

“And I want this new bag. I saw it on the newest catalogue yesterday, I want one. Buy it for me.” You send him a sugary smile.

“I see your wishes are getting more and more disproportionate.” 

You scoff. “But you promised to grant it!”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to grant it.” Seokjin rolls his eyes, resting his palm on your shoulder, skimming it until his finger hangs to yours. Your breath hitches at how it practically tickles your whole being. “Is that all? Are you saving one for now?”

“Y-yes.” You stutter, mind already turning blank that you forgot your last wish.

“Good.” Seokjin beams, swiping his thumb on your knuckles. You stare through his eyes, adoring the beautiful twinkle that sends butterflies knocking on your stomach. How could he affect you like this?

W-wait, are you hallucinating or he is really closing in right now? I-is he.. about to kiss you?

Against your expectation, he suddenly halts and snorts. “Now go take a bath, because you stink.”

You push him away, walking to enter your bathroom with a face that has gone vermillion red—especially listening to his annoying squeaky laughter from the living room. You feel terribly embarrassed. 

Did you really think he’s about to kiss you? And why the fuck do you have to act like a preteen girl having a crush on a classmate? This is literally super annoying how your body is acting strange—like you don’t even have control.

Ugh, you should never done anything dangerous with him again.

*

After having lunch in the lobster place, you and Seokjin drive to the cinema for the movie he pre-ordered last week. Sitting side by side with him, you find yourself hesitating. 

You want to hold his hand so damn much.

And this never happened to you before. Watching with him always ends up with both of you pretending to fight for the popcorn, and you’ll be far apart from each other—just like you’re watching alone. The movie’s genre is thriller and suspense, yet horror didn’t even take it for you to finally lean into him or anyone, yet that evening, you want to hold him. 

Closing in, you feel his shoulder closing on yours, leaning onto him as support. Seokjin looks at you in concern. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Y-yes! I’m fine, I just—“

“Is this movie boring for you? Or are you cold? You want more popcorn or drink?” He queries in concern at your jumpiness.

“No.” You murmur, embarrassed at your own thought. Fuck, what were you thinking? There is no possible reason at all on why you want to hold him, it’s not making any sense and it irks you on how conflicted you’re feeling. “I just… nothing.”

Glancing at you, Seokjin sees how you’re mouthing to yourself and hitting your own forehead with a deep frown—and he couldn’t bite his smile back. With one fluid motion, he loops his arms with yours and withers your small palm against his, tapping slightly the side of his head with yours. 

“Let me know if you need anything else. Hmm?”

You blush hard, the creep of warmth running in your cheek like a wildfire. Clearing your throat, you decide to focus on whatever scene it is, not realizing how Seokjin glances at you from time to time, a toothy smile creeping in his face.

Walking out of the place, you were a bit panicked on seeing Seokjin again in broad light, but he’s still not letting go of your hands around his. You don’t know whether it’s a good sign or not—maybe you’re just afraid of finding out.

“Do you want to go window shopping? Maybe you’ll find that bag you want.” Seokjin offers, you are about to discard him—telling who the hell is still window shopping these days, or your desired bag is already on your online shopping cart, yet you don’t want to say so.

Maybe you just want to be with him a little bit longer.

Walking hand in hand to around the mall, both of you stop at the high end brand stores. Seokjin is about to walk in when you stop him. “Why are we entering this place? This is out of our budget.”

“Who said I want to buy you the bag from here? I want to see it for myself.” Seokjin lightly jokes, blowing raspberries and you scowl. Contrary to what he just said, Seokjin is directing you to the female side, where the tote bags are stacked. You laugh silently. Is he trying to be a tsundere now?

He looks at you and warmly smile. “See if there’s anything you like. I’m going to the restroom first, okay?”

You squint your eyes at him in fake suspicion. “You’re not leaving me here and fleeing home, right?”

“Busted.” He giggles and you grin. “Wait here, I’ll come back in a minute.”

After Seokjin leaves, you find yourself walking to see the bags in hesitance. Yet you know how expensive they are, and it even scares you to fall in love with a bag and realizing how struggling Seokjin has to be to buy it for you. The thought immediately retrains you from taking the tawny colored bag which catches your eyes the most.

“Y/N? Is that you?”

You look back at the voice calling your name, and finding the person that hasn't even crossed your mind to be there. It’s Park Jimin, with his trademark eye smile peering curiously at you. “It is you! How have you been?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” You smile at him, a little bit surprised to see him here, even talking to you. Well, maybe the years of your troubling childhood does have its own reminder in the form of this man. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“Ah, yes. After moving from Busan to Seoul, I am just living my life, I guess. Got engaged a few years ago, my fiancé and I moved to Sydney for school, and I headed back for the time being for her.” He smiles jovially, letting you know things more than you expect him to. You nod with a hint of hesitation—a bit surprised that he’s still practically the same him from your childhood. Guess nothing really changes to a spoilt kid from birth. 

“Honey, I have five items already on the cashier, won’t you—who is this?”

The woman is peering closely at you, the evident staring feels deadly uncomfortable on your skin. You know that look—she is judging you from top to bottom, whether you qualify as someone she should feel competitive with. But you don’t really want to spoil your great mood from the morning and reply nonetheless. “I’m Y/N, an old friend of Jimin. Nice to meet you.”

“Hi.” She responds rudely, and turns to Jimin. “Aren’t we going after paying?”

“Wait, I still want to talk with her. You can use this.” Jimin opens up his wallet, giving her a card and she leaves almost immediately. “I’m sorry, she can be like that sometimes.”

You shrug nonetheless. “I can see that.”

Ignoring your obvious sarcasm, Jimin continues. “So, where are you going? Do you want to have dinner with us? We should meet up again sometimes, you know—“

“Y/N.”

Turning to the man calling your name, it turns out to be your husband, staring at the both of you with jaw ticked and cold stare. And Jimin is no different, completely startled with the fact that it is Seokjin calling your name. At once, you feel estranged with the tense in the air.

“Seokjin. Hi, this is Jimin, my old friend. Jimin, this is Seokjin, my husband.”

Seokjin is the one to answer, tone blunt. “I know.”

After long pregnant silence, Jimin clears his throat, and gives your husband a thin smile. “Hi Seokjin. Nice to see you again.”

“You two know each other?” You glance at both men with curiosity written in your face.

“Yes, Jimin was my junior in college. We were friends.” Seokjin answers with venom, and nobody can miss the way he pronounced the past tense. Jimin seems uncomfortable as well, trying to ignore the older guy and smiles at you.

“I didn’t know you’re married. When was the wedding? Why wasn’t I invited?” He laughs to discard the tense air, yet you can still sense the awkwardness coloring his tone.

“Ah, around two years ago, I think. My mother gave yours the invitation, but I guess it doesn’t work. It’s fine.” You shrug, keeping your courtesy no matter how much you want to shout what the fuck is going on with those two men.

“I am sorry, but I’ll send a gift your way. It’s very impolite of us.” Jimin offers kindly, but Seokjin cuts straight away.

“We don’t need it. Save your money to whom it belongs.”

You glare at Seokjin who is throwing his sight somewhere else. He never was impolite like this, and it stresses you out—the fact that you’re kept in the dark makes you feel like you’re basically second to nothing between the two of them. 

“Seokjin? Is that you?”

Jimin’s fiancé comes back with countless bags in her hand, and you can hear the loud enough snicker from Seokjin. “Ah, as expected.”

The girl looks surprised, to say the least. “What are you doing here? With her? Who is this girl?” 

At the condescending tone, you immediately turn defensive. She had no reason to talk to you and Seokjin like that. “Excuse me?” 

“Baby, don’t be like that. Y/N here is Seokjin’s wife.” Jimin murmurs softly to his fiancé, and the bitch still has the nerves to scoff with a sleazy smirk.

“Ah, finally. I am glad you finally got your shit together, stopped thinking about me and moved on.” She loops her hand around Jimin, rising her chin high. Your jaws are a second away from falling to the ground. What the hell is going on?! “And are you sure you can go here? Isn’t this too expensive for you?”

“What the fuck—”

You are ready to throw hands, but Jimin quickly pulls her away and so is Seokjin’s hands clasped on yours to hold you back. 

“Stop it. Let’s just go home.”

Hanging his head low, both of you walk to the parking lot in deafening silence. Seokjin’s face is now cloudy and dark, nose and eyes are turned red and you know he is this close to crying. You chest stings at how much in pain he seems. You have so many questions, yet you know he needs more time to figure out his own.

Trying to reach the car keys from his pocket, he can’t seem to find it and somehow ends up choking his own tears. Feeling terrible on how he must feel, you go to his side, helping him check his other pocket. “I’ll drive.” You softly say to him after, and he silently goes to the passenger side.

Night comes, and you stare at your bedroom door. Seokjin has been holed up inside the room after you both went home, and did not come out even for a drink. You knew he needed space, and you stayed in the living room to watch your series, but it’s been too long that you are on alert since this has never quite happened before.

You wake up from your seat, walking to the kitchen as you are about to prepare dinner. Mushing up your doubtful cooking skill, you cook a chicken pasta and union ring, even called his favorite donuts on delivery.

After all the food is ready, you knock on the door. “Seokjin, dinner is ready. Come out, will you?”

“I am not really hungry.” He answers softly, and you roll your eyes.

“Don’t kid me, we both know you are never not hungry.” Your joke is met with no response. “Are you really going to be like this? Come out and let’s have dinner. I already cooked for us.”

A moment of silence. “Are you sure it’s edible?”

You scowl, albeit kind of relieved that his sarcasm is still in place. “It’s not, but I’m still going to shove it down your throat until you’re begging me to stop.”

Seokjin ends up coming out, and you immediately frown at him. His face is disheveled, eyes bloodshot red, trail of tears on both his cheek and his hair is all over the place. 

“Hey, you look ugly.”

He scoffs. “Thank you for the encouragement.”

“I am serious! You look uglier than that time we went to Bali and you shit yourself because of eating too much spices.” You giggle, and Seokjin hisses. Your way of consoling people is indeed very debatable. 

“I remembered Bali. Such a great time.” Regardless, Seokjin smiles fondly at the memory. It was for your honeymoon slash not really a honeymoon, since all you did was to spend your work’s wedding free leave. You and Seokjin registered for Bali’s backpacker packet where both of you were able to explore the true nature and culture of Bali, instead of staying in a five star hotel and fucking till dawn like most honeymoon. It was breathtaking, to say the least.

After settling on the dining table, you scoop a portion and hand it to him. “Eat. I also ordered your favorite donuts, it will be here in a few minutes.”

Seokjin gives you a thankful smile, acknowledging your effort to make him feel better. 

After a whole half an hour of eating in silence, you open a conversation. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He looks to you, and lower his sight back to his plate. “This is good.”

You sigh, folding your hands on the table. Seokjin might feel uncomfortable and you understand he needs time, but you also know that he needs to share it with someone else, or the feeling will drown him instead. “You know, there is no good keeping it inside.” You breath out. “I want to know what happened with you.”

A few minutes of silence. “How do you know Jimin?” He asks instead.

“He was my childhood friend in Busan, before his father hit it big and they moved to Seoul. We used to play together. He was a classmate, and my only friend at that time.”

Seokjin cocks his eyebrow. “Only that? Why does it seem like it’s not just friends? Like he really is glad to see you.” 

You shrug. “Yeah, it was.. kind of weird. You know how kids were. We were really close, and I kind of confessed… that I liked him before he went away.”

A particular hit on the plate causes you to flinch, a deep frown on Seokjin’s supple lips. “But it was in the past, right?” He confirms with no hint of playing, and you feel something settle strangely in your chest. 

Is it possible that he is jealous?

You chase the thoughts away and curtly reply. “Of course. I was 10 for god’s sake, I didn’t even really like him.” 

“I don’t even know why you like the guy. Was Busan really lacking in handsome boys?” Seokjin grumbles, munching soundly on the onion ring. “You should have seen me when I was a kid, I bet you’ll like me instead. I've been handsome since I was even a baby.”

“I’ve seen your schoolbook photo, but I’ll just go with whatever you say.” You giggle on his nonsense—even though he’s clearly not lying. He’s probably the most handsome person you’ve laid your eyes upon, that it was quite surprising he didn’t decide to fuckboy himself and settle down with you instead. 

Ten minutes pass in silence before you continue. “Can I say my last wish?” You ask carefully. Seokjin nods, a bit uncertain.

“Tell me what happened? With Jimin. And his fiancé too.” You hum, fidgeting with your fingers. “I just wanted to know, but it is okay if you don’t want to tell me.”

Seokjin sighs, rests his utensils and drinks the water before continuing. “It’s just.. hard. His wife, Dakyung was actually my girlfriend for a long time. We’ve been together since high school. At that time, she wasn’t really well off—his parents are struggling financially, but I was more than glad to support her getting the money to support her family.”

“We were together for like eleven years, I guess? I loved her very much, we’ve been through nearly everything and stood strong. I didn’t want to be with anyone else. I only wanted her. Being with anyone else never crossed my mind.” He softly explains, yet you don’t know why you feel yourself constricting with every word. It’s hurting you to see how pained he was, the beautifully carved words meant for someone else. “So around four years ago, I think? I bought an engagement ring for her. I was going to propose—but I guess you know the rest.”

“Did she.. cheat on you?” You ask carefully. Seokjin stares at you and nods, sadness written all over his face.

“I just found out when I was going to surprise her in her apartment. She… was in bed with.. Jimin.”

“What?!” You shouts in disbelief. “Jimin, your college friend fucked your girlfriend of eleven years?”

“Yes, and I don’t know what happened too, but at that time what I remembered was Jimin pleading for her to break up with me, and she said yes, asking for him to wait for the right time. But who am I kidding? It was a good choice at her part. Jimin is crazy rich, handsome and good too. Anything a girl wants, right?”

“Hey, don’t be like that.” You mutter, resting your palm over his as a consolation. “Money is not everything, and she’s trading that for eleven years of happiness with you. It’s her loss.”

“Maybe it’s not, Y/N. At that time, I realized that maybe it was indeed my fault. I, like a fucking fool, still wanted to be better for her. Even after I knew she was cheating on me, I tried holding on to her, so the next day I asked her to meet me and still proposed. I would do anything to make her happy. And as expected, she rejected me.”

“Seokjin…” You whisper, a tear welling on the corner of your eyes on how broken he must have felt.

“She immediately eloped with Jimin, and both moved to Sydney for school. But I guess in a way, I’ve never moved on. I was always trying to contact her, sending her emails or messages until she had enough and blocked me. I was depressed. The one that I loved for eleven years, left me just like that.”

Seokjin stares at you, meaningfully. And you’re about to hear something that breaks your whole being. 

“And then, I just knew I’d never love again.”

*

You don’t know what happened with you—and Seokjin, but in a way you’ve been distancing yourself from him, and the gesture is mutual. Seokjin never came home early, and not that you ask him anymore. He always came home whenever you were already asleep, and when you wake up, he’d be gone. Even with the current withdrawal, you still find breakfast on the table, courtesy of him. Yet you’d rather he not.

I just knew I’d never love again.

It hurts. It hurts like hell when he really said that he’ll never love again. In a way, you know you’ve been feeling something for your husband—that you crave for his attention and care, and to know that he might never reciprocate the way you want him to. Hurts like a bitch.

But it’s all on you. It is clear as crystal that love is not even the foundation of your marriage, so if anything happens to your foolish heart, it’s all on you. You shouldn’t have taken this lightly. You should’ve known that you are weak at heart, and you’ll fall for him anyway. 

Because he is the greatest guy you have ever met.

The compassion, kindness and caring that he has, it’s beyond comprehension. You don’t know how someone can be so understanding like he is, the way he takes care of you and wants nothing in return, that sincerely wants the best for you—even without love—succeeds in making you fall head over heels for him. 

God, you really are a fool.

“Hey, Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You look to your left, seeing Hoseok scrutinizing at you in worry, now Jane is already beside him. “You’ve been whimpering since morning, and now you’re crying. Is there anything wrong?”

“Nothing, I am sorry for disturbing you all.” You swipe your tear stained cheeks, standing from your seat. “I’m getting some air, okay? I’ll see you guys later.”

Half-running, you enter the elevator and swiftly exit the building, trying to breathe as clear as you could—no matter how it might hurt you. God, you hate being vulnerable. You hate being weak. You hate being in love—an unrequited one, at that. Why can’t you just put your heart together? Why do you have to like him now, after two years of not caring whether he even fucked someone else behind your back? 

A whisper in your mind tells you that probably, these two years have been too great with him. Maybe, because he never gave you space for doubt. Maybe, you are already dependent on him without you knowing. Maybe, you take your feelings for granted.

“Y/N, are you okay? Why are you crying?” Someone stares at you in shock, and turns out it is Jungkook. His arm is around your shoulder. “I just finished a meeting and wanted to get  coffee and found you here instead. Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“Is it weird that I felt sad because I finally—finally have feelings for my husband? Like… this supposed to happen before marriage, right?”

“Oh, Y/N..” Jungkook sighs. “What happened?”

And like that, you fill him in on what happened between you and Seokjin, and it leaves him furrowing his eyebrows. “So.. you telling me that you think Seokjin still couldn’t forget his ex?”

You process his sentence for a while, and reply with a hesitant nod. Jungkook exhales loudly. “That’s not it, Y/N. I don’t think he’s still in love with his ex, he is... just scared. He is scared of the pain of his past, and he is scared of opening up to someone. Just like you. And with the way you are acting right now, it’s not fixing anything you both are feeling right now.”

“But he said he’ll never love again..”

“I couldn’t believe you even believe that bullshit.” Jungkook frowns. “That girl betrayed him. She gave him literally a thousand reasons to move on. He just needs time to adjust, and a couple of facts slapped to his face. He’ll come around.”

“Do… do you think I should.. talk to him about this?” 

“No. You can just shut up and hope he can read your mind.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, heavily sarcastic. “Talk to him, Y/N. You trust him, right?”

“I do.” You whisper to yourself, strangely motivated. “I do trust him.”

*

Well, it turns out trust is not a really firm base for confronting your own husband to the mess you made. After you called Seokjin to pick you up after work to get dinner together, he was visibly surprised at your request since you’re usually not the type to begin conversation after a fight—you never even asked to be picked up before. You yourself don’t even know whether it would be a good idea, but Seokjin’s easy agreement does make it better.

When you enter the car, he is the first to greet with a warm smile, and it reminds you that you haven’t seen it for so long now—you might even miss it. “Hey.” 

“Hi, Seokjin.” You let out a nervous chuckle. “Thank you for picking me up. I’m just.. feeling a bit out of it to take the train. I hope it’s okay.”

“Of course it is. I told you a million times I’ll pick you up if you can, you’re the one who rejected me.” He giggles lightly, glancing at you. “Thank you too.”

“For what?”

“For reaching out? I know past week we’ve been.. kinda avoiding each other. I didn’t know how to.. start since I was the problem in the first place.” He scratches his nape in shame. “I am very sorry, by the way. It was very immature of me.”

“No, it’s not. I totally understand.” You respond quickly. “And I didn’t know what happened, I have no rights to judge. It was your pain, and I am just glad you want to share it with me.”

Unexpectedly, Seokjin chuckles. “Why are you so sweet today.” 

“Let me know if you want my sass back, I’ll gladly serve it to you.” You retaliate, even your inside are churning with nerves.

“You know I accepted you for who you are—you can be anything you want.” Seokjin brushes the top of your head with a toothy grin that leaves you a breathy mess. 

“You are so cheesy today.” You respond briskly, noticing that you have arrived at the designated restaurant. Seokjin parks the car swiftly, and when there’s only silence inside, he turns on the lights on top of him.

“I have something for you.”

“What?”

“Look at the backseat.”

You glance at the backseat, finding an oak brown bag that somehow feels familiar. You quickly pick it up and open it. Turns out it is the exact beautiful brown bag that has catched your eyes from your previous window shopping session—before Jimin comes into the picture. You squeal in delight. “What is this?! Are you seriously giving this to me?”

“No, I’m giving it to Grandma Lee, our neighbor. Who else?” He smirks and you smack him lightly on the shoulder before adoring your bag once more.

“This is very pretty, though. How could you know which one I liked?”

“Well, let’s just say I know you better than you think? I practically know what you liked. This one greatly matches your outfits too. You know I have a great fashion sense.” He winks.

“I’ll let your last sentence pass because I’m very touched right now. Thank you, Seokjin.” You beam in joy, adoring the bag.

Seokjin nods, and when you rest the bag carefully on the backseat, he suddenly pulls you close for a hug—his arms around your waist, your chin settles on his shoulder. His spontaneity literally leaves you breathless, the heat is blooming around your cheek at the close proximity. God, you wish he couldn’t hear your drumming heartbeat.

“Thank you for being such a great friend and partner. I’m so thankful we are married, you know?”

You grimace in pain. God, the sound of your heart breaking is really audible in your ear. Oh, how you wish he had known.

*

And in the end, you are the loser in this game you played with yourself, because you most absolutely didn’t say a thing, yet you’re enjoying every second of being in love by yourself, making up scenarios and wondering if he feels the way you do.

It is ridiculous how greatly it has been played—considering how caring he usually is, yet it’s not even rare for him to say that you’re different in a way. He never explained in detail, but even you know what’s different. You started calling him frequently between work, asking when he’ll be home, his opinion on little things, or if he wanted to eat anything. It’s the small things that you’re hoping he’ll catch, yet it seems like something trivial for him and it lowkey upsets you.

One evening, you’re already waiting for him in the apartment, determined to finally tell him about what you feel—that you love him and hope he feels the same way. Jungkook was right—you can’t lounge around waiting for him. There’s no shame in starting first, especially when knowing it’s him you’re falling in love with.

Yet the clock strikes nine, he has not arrived yet. The food you prepared since six has already turned cold, and you start to feel wary, glancing nervously at the door—since he said he’ll be home around eight and is already late by an hour. You already tried calling him, but it is met with no response. His phone is on and well, yet he’s not replying. So you wait while watching the news.

Car crash. A man. Blue toyota. On the road of his way back home. You immediately reach for your phone, calling his number in panic.

Could it be?

*

It’s already midnight when Seokjin opens his apartment door, expecting darkness—but instead he finds you sleeping on the couch, phone clutched on your chest. He closes in, a thin smile formed on his lips as his fingers soothes the creases of your crouching eyebrows, but it somehow sends you flinching on your spot. You are now wide awake.

“Seokjin, when are you home?” You demand, as his pupils dilate of confusion. 

“I just arrived. Sorry, I was—”

“I thought you died, you moron!” You shouts immediately. “Car crash news was on, man driving a blue toyota. I was so scared it was you that I even called the police, yet they said the victim is still in the hospital, I couldn’t know the identity. I was so scared...” You don’t even know why you’re tearing up right now—but the emotion is overwhelming, you must be talking nonsense.

Seokjin blinks, confused. “I’m sorry, I left my phone on mute. I forgot to let you know...”

You don’t even want to hear the rest, as you quickly storm off to your bed and force yourself to sleep, muffling your cries. The feeling you had for the last few hours, the horror of thinking Seokjin might be laid in blood on the street is something you’d rather not experience now or ever. 

In a few minutes, you feel the bed dips beside you. Seokjin is there. 

“Are you still awake?” He softly asks, but you decide to ignore him and closes your eyes.

“I am very sorry. I didn’t know… this would happen. But I should’ve let you know.”

You clearly know what he refers to. You usually don’t give a shit if he’d even come in dawn, but now you’re crying and throwing a fit when it’s not even something to fuss about. It’s only you and your overreacting fear.

“Get some sleep, we’ll talk in the morning, okay?” He whispers as he tucked the blanket closer to you, stroking the top of your head carefully. 

*

The next morning, you wake up to the delicious smell of baked cheese. Unable to hold your scoff, you decided to stay a little bit on bed just to pisses him off. Frankly, you are still slightly vengeful for last night, with this urge to let him know your annoyance has not worn off.

So when he walks in and softly taps your shoulder, you are silent. “Hey. It’s already seven, you need to take a shower and come eat breakfast, hmm?” He persuades, but you turn your back to him, and Seokjin huffs at your petty acts, yet the guilt is still seeping in his chest. 

Seokjin sighs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t let you know work is unexpectedly late. I don’t want to make excuses, as I know it’s all my fault. I won’t do it again.”

At the sincerity in his tone, your anger quickly washes off, but still you’re doubtful on how to answer his apology. Should you just say yes? Or should you pretend anger?

“Hey, look at me.” Seokjin impatiently pulls you to face him, both his palms are on the sides of you. His eyes bore into yours, and you instantly turn stiff with his face so close. 

He takes a deep breath. “I’m very, very sorry, Y/N. I promise I’ll do my best in letting you know if something came up at work and not make you worry anymore.”

“I like you.”

You wonder whose word that is, but it turns out to be you. It’s literally you who said those three words that you have been practicing since last night. You didn’t even know why it’s coming out right now, it’s just the way he looks at you right now—it’s the first thing you want him to know. 

“What?” He looks mildly bewildered.

“I like you, Seokjin. I… I don’t know when or how, but I really, really like you.” You confess. You finally confess, yet the way Seokjin looks immediately puts you in horror. That’s absolutely not the look you expected from him.

He laughs with sheer awkwardness. “Of course, we are married. You know I like you too, Y/N.” Yet you know he meant differently.

You know everything will go south the moment you try to say what you truly meant, yet you don’t want to lie anymore. You are tired of hiding what you’re feeling. “I am serious. I like you, in that way. I might even love you. The past two years, we’ve been with each other and I seriously couldn’t be happier with what we both had. I know this is not what we both planned—”

“It’s most absolutely not.” He cuts, distancing himself from you, face filled with panic.

“—but I want you to know. I want to try this, Seokjin. I know you might need some time, and what I feel might be one-sided, but I want you to know and try this. With me.”

A moment of silence to tense that you can slice it to choke yourself—when it’s only you and him who is avoiding your gaze. He then scoots off the bed, and you feel like you can’t breathe.

 “I… I’m gonna go. You should finish your breakfast.”

And then he left.

The misery doesn’t end there. You never felt someone could be so physically close yet so far away like what he’s putting between the two of you right now. For a straight week he literally never came home earlier than nine, and when he did, he’d sleep on the couch. And fuck did it hurt to sleep knowing he is out of your reach. You never know love could hurt like this—maybe you trusted him too much with your heart.

Saturday, you left a note that you’ll be off to your parents house for the weekend, and even then Seokjin didn’t contact you. And coming back home, your parents fortunately didn’t fuss as much, maybe since you just said you needed time away from him. 

The night comes, you are lounging in your room when your phone rings. At once you quickly jump to retrieve it, frown when seeing its a social media notification instead.

From : @pjmin

Hi, Y/N, this is Jimin! Hope you are doing well :) [21:29]

I know this is a bit hurried, but if possible, are you up to meet for coffee tomorrow? [21:29]

It’s okay if you can’t, just want to talk and catch up while I’m in town [21:30]

Let me know! [21:31]

Albeit doubtful, you are indeed curious about what he wants to talk about, knowing it must have something to do with Seokjin. Unable to hold your curiosity, you agree to a time and place with him.

Tomorrow, you walk into the agreed coffee shop, finding Jimin already seated, sipping on his beverages. You carefully pay attention to him, and notice he indeed has changed so much from that average kid you met when you were kids. Well, not that you have any rights to comment though.

“Hi.” He greets with a smile after you are seated in front of him. “I ordered you something. Hope you’re okay with caramel frappucino. You still like sweets?”

“Ah, I’m fine with anything. Thanks. And yes, I still like them. Kinda surprised you still remember, though.” You joke. Jimin lips curls.

“Well, the memory of a kid eating four cotton candy in one sitting until she passed out from high blood sugar is not really something one could forget.” He giggles, and you roll your eyes. Well, your childhood is indeed not a pretty one. “It was rather traumatizing, I could say.”

After a moment of catching up on how he’s currently doing right now, you mindlessly ask him. “So, where is your fiancé? I thought she’ll be with us here.”

Jimin instantly dims at the mention. “Uh… We broke up.”

You stop your movement and gape at him in disbelief. “Seriously? Why?”

“Well, let’s just say once a cheater is always a cheater?” Jimin stares down at his drinks. “Not in that way, though. In the beginning, my family never really liked her, that’s why I’ve been holding off from marriage—no matter how much she pleaded to. We actually came back to get married, and get blessings. And just yesterday, my father sent me a whole report of her financial statement, slush funds, and everything. Well, there’s just too much thing she’s hiding behind my back.”

“Jimin…” You mutter, feeling bad for the guy. But still, you are unable to scoff at how blinded he has been. The girl is no doubt is using him for his money—and he just realized it now? 

“I know what you’re thinking. I must be a damn fool to just realize it now.” He humorlessly laughs, correctly reading your mind. “But maybe I was hoping she’ll one day change. I must be a total dumbass.”

“Yeah, you kinda are.” You had enough of holding back, and it surprises Jimin with your forwardness. You grin regardless. “But that’s okay. Everybody makes mistakes, right? We just gotta live with it.”

“Yeah.” He agrees with a saddened smile. “I know it doesn’t quite make sense telling this to Seokjin’s wife, but… I don’t know. I want you to know that I regretted it. I really shouldn’t have done that—cheating behind his back. Maybe this is karma, anyway. I deserved this.”

You sigh. “You know that you shouldn’t be saying that to me, right? You should tell it straight to Seokjin.”

Jimin sighs, like it has been bugging his mind for a long time now. “But of course he wouldn’t want to see me. And I have a flight tonight, back to Sydney, so I don’t think I’ll be able to.”

“Well, maybe an apology had to wait, then.” You shrug, and Jimin frowns. “You were his friend, Jimin. And I know if I were him, I’d want it coming from you.”

“I guess so. You were right.” He exhales loudly. “Thank you for that too. And agreeing to meet me. I’m really glad we talked. And don’t forget to stay in contact, okay?”

You hum with a wide smile. “Thank you too, Jimin.”

“Oh, I nearly forgot. I brought this for your wedding present.” Jimin crouches, retrieving a gift box as he displays a sincere beam. “I don’t know if Seokjin would like that I’m giving you this, but, yeah. I am very glad that you’re together. You guys seriously could be the best couple I know.”

You fiddly laugh when reminded of the current turmoil of your marriage. Well, he's better off not knowing, though. “You really shouldn’t have, but thank you for this.”

Well, you do hope that whatever Jimin’s gift is, Seokjin is still there to use them.

*

Sunday, you spend lounging on your bed, staring at the gift from Jimin, opened and stacked on your desk. You are still unable to comprehend his thoughtfulness. He gave you a couple bathrobe, a bottle of expensive Bordeaux Wine with two antique wine glasses. You messaged him thank you, and Jimin only sent a wink emoticon as an answer.

And then you are reminded of Seokjin’s scar. What happened with his ex, it was because he was too kind. He was too trustful, and it hurt to let go of someone you’ve been with for nearly half of your life and betrayed you like that. He is really the kindest soul out there—and then you realize that you missed him dearly. You wonder what he might be doing right now. Is he just as distraught as you are? Is he thinking about you as well?

In the middle of your wandering thoughts, your phone abruptly chimes. Finding an unknown number in the other line, you answer hesitantly. “Hello?”

“Hi, Y/N. This is Yoongi, Seokjin’s friend.”

It’s been a long time since you heard from him and you rise to sit, mildly perturbed. “Yes. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Not really. Apologize if I’m too forward, I know there’s a bit of problem at bay, but I know Seokjin’s dying to talk to you, and has been stressing about it since god-knows-when. He’s in my apartment now, can you… get him? Lounging in my apartment drinking is not going to solve anything.” He huffs lightly, and you sigh in distress.

“I know. But I am now in my parents house. Do you think.. I should just come?”

An evil laugh is heard on the other end. “No, that’s unnecessary. I know what’s even better that will help with this whole thing.”

Closing his call in daze, you are still waiting for the plan—but not even an hour in, a rushed knock is already heard from your front door. In a blink, Seokjin is on your bedroom door, carefully opening it. 

“Y/N?” He softly calls your name. “Are you… okay?”

Well, the scared look on his face does make you kind of guilty. Yoongi must have told him lies that you’re sick, and then he didn’t even spend another second and went straight to you. You have no idea what to feel, decide to hide yourself under your blanket.

“Hey, look at me.” He rushes, tapping the side of your arm carefully, but you are still unbudging. Impatiently, he effortlessly tugs the blanket off of you, until you are looking at him with a frown in your face. He rests his palm on your forehead, to your neck, baffled. “Are you sick? Yoongi told me you have high fever.”

“Well, I think Yoongi lied because he wanted to chase you out of his apartment.” You scowl, turning your face with a hint of blush on your face. You never know seeing him again could be this difficult. “I heard you’ve been a parasite to him.” You tease, slightly smiling.

“Yoongi, that disrespectful shithead.” Seokjin hisses under his breath, but it’s obvious that he is avoiding your eyes. He straightens and clears his throat. “Okay then. I think… I should go  home. Are you going to stay here?”

“Seokjin…” You call, holding on his wrist from leaving. “Are you angry at me?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “I am not angry at you.”

“But you are avoiding me. And we don’t even talk anymore. This is not how we used to handle problems. What’s wrong?” You persist, determined to end this cold war with him. 

Seokjin sighs. “I am just… scared.”

“What are you scared of?”

“I am scared of disappointing you.” He is visibly downcasted. “I know what you meant, Y/N. But I also know that I can’t be… what you want me to be. I can’t seem to forget... her. I don’t want to hurt you, or myself. And I know It’s difficult, and I don’t want to put you into that pain. It’s better this way.”

“I never pressured you into anything.” You reply, your voice started shaking. “I just want you to know, and try this with me. And you know holding onto something that has hurt you is not going to work, Seokjin. Please, please stop hurting yourself and try this. With me.”

“I-I can’t.” He hurriedly mutters, intending to walk out before you hold him back, crushing yourself into his arms, your tears burst into loud sobs.

For a good ten minutes, you spend it crying on his arms, tears wetting his white shirt. You don’t know what you feel—you’re dejected, sad, disappointed, angry, too many emotions that overwhelms your whole being but can only come in tears when he’s around. “Seokjin, I like you. Why can’t you give us a chance? Are you… that disgusted with me?”

At the self depreciating cries, he quickly looks down, both palms are on either side of your face. “Don’t be like that. I adore you so much, Y/N. Don’t hurt yourself because of me.”

“There’s no way I can’t be sad if you’re still hurting yourself. I just want you to be happy—with me. Is that so hard?” You weep, hiding yourself back to his chest. “I hate this. You know how much I hate crying.”

“Then you shouldn’t have cried that much.” He scolds, stroking your scalp like he usually does—and you slightly feel comforted at his familiar gesture.

After another ten minutes just hugging it out, he finally leans into you resting his head on top of yours, taking a deep breath of nerves.

“Okay. Let’s try then. But please be patient with me, hmm? I’ll try my hardest for us.”

*

“Good morning, sleepyhead!”

He shuffles in his sleep, but is unmoving. You frown, and call him one more time yet still met with no response. Huffing, you scoot closer to him, and clasp his nose to hamper him from breathing. At your disturbance he groans, finally opening his eyes. “Why are you waking me up now… This is still dawn.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have started getting back into gaming now. This is already half past seven, mister. Take a shower before you’re late.” You remind him, and as expected he already has two feet on the ground, running to the shower.

And as a kind and dutiful wife, you help him by preparing his outfits. You chose a nice blue themed suit this time, paired with a nice tie you bought him a few months back. Walking out with a towel wrapped around his waist, you are unable to hold your eyes from straying low. Damn, he really be packing like that, huh?

“What are you looking at, huh?” Seokjin squints his eyes at you, taking the prepared clothes. “Don’t look at me like that. I know I’m a whole snack, but I’m not a sexual object.” He jokes while wiggling eyebrows, and you scoff loudly when you can’t find a sassy reply for him.

You decide to wait in the living room, trying to calm your heartbeat. God, you’re such a loser, now even his bare chest can stupefy you like that. 

Regardless, you're more than content with the current relation with you and Seokjin. Both you definitely have gotten better, a bit more identical to wife and husband—even if it's probably only for you. You are trying your hardest for him, and when you know he can’t instantly fall at your feet and love you the way you do, you are satisfied. At least he’s not pushing you away.

“I’m a bit late for breakfast, but thank you for this.” He whispers, pointing to the pack of food you prepared for him. Noticing what’s missing, you pick the tie from his grasp, and circle around his neck and putting it on for him. He visibly stiffen on your arms.

After finished, you brush his suit’s shoulder and take a step back with a smile. “Let me know when you’ll be home, okay?”

“Okay.” He agrees and softly smiles. “See you.”

And then, he leaves a tender peck on your left cheek and exits the room. 

You literally can’t stop smiling the whole day.

*

One thing that you never really told anyone, is that you never had true sex. Like you had it once or twice in high school, but those annoying jerks never let you even finish and all you were left was disappointment. During college, you were too ambitious for your studies, so the thought of sleeping around was not on your agenda, and you never really believed in love or relationships. So when the thought of sex enters your mind this morning, it was quite frightening.

Having your lunch with only Jungkook, you decided to tell him your concern. He is quite shocked to say the least. “What the—you want to have sex with him? Finally?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” You exhale, pushing away your food in disinterest. “This few days we are making progress. So I don’t know—isn’t sex always the solution? I thought it would do some good for us.”

“Well, it’s indeed a solution for most problems, I would say.” He giggles between words, and you roll your eyes in disgust. “But I don’t know about Seokjin. I must say—the man really has outstanding self control. Sleeping on one bed with a woman for two straight years and still hasn’t initiated sex? Crazy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been sleeping around before.”

The thought immediately darkens your whole mood, and Jungkook realizes his slips. “—or, he’s just a good masturbator? Nobody knows, Y/N, especially not me. Ha ha ha.” He nervously chuckles, sipping his drinks. “And the minority of men are not that much of an sex-fueled animal. He must be good at keeping his hands to himself, and please don’t mind what I said.”

What Jungkook said might be haunting you a bit that you request to get home early—when instead you’re going to the mall for shopping. You went straight to the ladies side where all kinds of bras or lingerie is available, but you literally have no clue what’s useful for your case. Already desperate, you finally call Jane for advice, discarding the huge probability of damage that you’ll be teased or ridiculed. 

“Oh my god! That’s very fun. I still can’t believe you lied to the boss because you’re preparing to bone your husband tonight.” Jane cackles, truly amused. “God, I miss those alone times with my husband. Don’t have kids too soon, Y/N. Be happy with your husband.”

“Stop rambling and help me pick!” You hiss, realizing a few stares has caught on you. She giggles, and then proceeds to help you pack home a black lacy three piece lingerie that will instantly shock your mother if she ever sees—which she said would ‘even spice up a fifty years old marriage’. 

You don’t even know how that’s possible, or why you even asked her for advice in the first place.

Waiting for your train home, you hold your shopping bag close to your chest, slightly  embarrassed. You don’t know what you should do then—should you just wear it and surprise him in the living room when he comes home? Or lay in your bed while trying to tease him? How does that actually work?

In front of your apartment, suddenly a call arrives. Seokjin. “Hey, Y/N. Work is a bit much today, I think I’ll be late. Will be home around nine, maybe. But can you wait for me? I forgot to bring my keys.”

Agreeing mindlessly, you sigh after ending the call, looking to the bag on your grasp. You really had a bad feeling about this.

*

It’s quarter to nine, Seokjin is already on the way home and you are already all cleaned up. You started with a good, long warm shower and shaves, curled your hair, and put up a light makeup. You even tried watching porn for learning purposes—but instantly grossed out after a few failed attempts at finding a good one. Well, maybe you should just kiss him and not say or do a thing you’ll regret.

Jungkook was right, though. There’s no way Seokjin can handle two long years without sleeping around. Yet even the thoughts of him sleeping with other girls leaves you qualmish. In the middle of your busy thoughts, the bell suddenly rings at the door. 

“Y/N? Are you there? Can you please open this?”

Walking with your heels on, your head is in haze at the thoughts of him seeing you like this. God, you start having second thoughts. Should you just run inside and change your clothes? But the remembrance of the price of this lingerie instantly blanches you. You’d rather be shamed in front of your husband than wasting his much money for nothing. 

“Good ev—what is this?”

Seokjin looks at you, visibly flabbergasted at your unexpected fit. Not even once that he would think you would wear something like this, especially for him—and now your face is already beet red. You are far too shy to do or initiate anything.

“Are you okay? What are you—”

Before he can say other things that will embarrass you even more, you quickly crash your lips to his, kissing it frantically while trying to make it as pleasurable as possible. Seokjin instantly gasps, his bag falling to the floor beside him. His hands rest on your back while you are focusing to make it as good as it can get for him. 

You bite his lips for entrance, and as he moans you slips your tongue inside, tasting the sweet beverages he just drank. At one point, he finally responds—kissing you back with tenderness instead that helps manage a pace that won’t leave you breathless.

Few more minutes of tasting his lips against yours, Seokjin finally lets you go, and unexpectedly laughs. Realizing how foolish you must have been for him, you quickly flee inside the room and jump under your blanket. You hiss and close your eyes, cheeks flushed at the remembrance of the kiss and his amused face staring at you—God, can you be more humiliating?

After taking a shower, Seokjin jumps on the bed and you instantly scoot yourself further away, with your back facing him. The silent giggle is still heard and frustrated, you sent him a glare. “Why are you laughing?! There’s nothing funny.”

“I’m laughing not because it's funny, but because you’re extremely cute.” He hums, probably noticing how the blush crept back on your cheek. You scowl in annoyance. “You’re so aggressive today, but how can you’re still so cute? What happened, hmm?”

“No, I just…Ugh, I’m trying here, okay? I know these past two years might have been frustrating to you, I won’t even be surprised if you’ve been sleeping around—”

“What? What are you saying? Who’s sleeping around?” Seokjin asks, puzzled. You bit your lips, looking down in shame.

“I don’t know, maybe because my friends told me they wouldn’t last without sex and I just… I thought you’re like that too. And we haven’t really talked about that, so...”

He laughs, pulling you close until you flush against his chest. He smells like oak and citrus and it entices you at once. “I haven’t been sleeping with anyone for the past two years. My last time was probably with a stranger when I broke up, I think. I don’t really remember.”

“Really? You don’t have to lie to me, I know it’s really—”

“I am serious. And why would I lie? I just… think it’s not right. To be truthful, I also don’t want you to sleep around with someone else when we’re married, I’m just trying to keep this as pleasant as it could be for us.”

Humming against his chest, you feel your heart warming at his considerate act. You really are marrying the right person—regardless of how unconventional it started. You can’t even imagine if it was someone else. Few minutes of silence just feeling his arms around yours until you speak and ruin the whole conversation. 

“So does it mean you’re a great masturbator?”

Seokjin laughs until his whole body vibrates. “Well, maybe you could say it like that.”

*

“So, are you going to tell me what happened last night?” Jane asks during your lunch with Hoseok, Jungkook, and Namjoon with a hint of teasing on her tone. “I am surprised you even came to the office today. I thought you’d call in sick.”

“What the hell—it’s not like that.” You hiss at her, hoping she’d get your subtle message to quit it. Jane groans.

“Come on, Y/N, we are all adults here. Tell us! At least tell me how many rounds. What was it like? Did you use any other tools—like ropes or vibrators?”

Hoseok and Namjoon literally choke on their drinks, while Jungkook smirks in amusement at your flushed cheeks. “Don’t say it. Damn, Jane, it’s not it! What the hell are you saying?!”

“Well, I mean you literally called in sick to buy a lingerie—that I chose, for those taking notes—which literally will get him hot and erected in no time. How can I not be wondering?! What was it like? Tell me, I’m a lonely mother of two, Y/N. I just want to know, hmm?”

“Yes, tell us, Y/N! How’d it go with your lawfully wedded husband?” Jungkook joins in, giggling in mischief. You shot him an unamused look.

“Ah, I remember those days. Fucking till morning with my wife. Well, before the baby arrives.” Namjoon sighs dreamily, and you are visibly repulsed at his sentence. “I agree with Jane, Y/N. I love my child to death, but I’d rather wait for maybe another year or two.”

“It’s not like that!” You hide your face on your palm. “There literally nothing happened. I wore that lingerie, and surprised him when he came home, but we ended up doing nothing but kissing. He laughed, by the way. Thanks for that, Jane.” You glare at her, and she shrugs.

“Only that?” Hoseok asks, uncertain. “You’re already wearing lingerie and nothing happened?”

You vengefully nod. “That’s really all. Then he took a shower, we just talked until both fell asleep. Done.”

Namjoon contemplates, fingers on his chin. “That’s weird. Hmm. You don’t even bother jumping in the shower?”

“You are an idiot.” You sigh, massaging your temple—even if the idea struck you in a way. Should you have jumped into the shower with him? But you did your make up and all... “Even kissing him was already—”

Jungkook quickly cuts with roaring laughter. “Wow, I never know you’re that much of an idiot, Y/N! Ha ha ha I’m hungry, does anyone want to order food now?” As others are focused on skimming the menu, he sends you a look, and you just register that you were about to blabber the reality of your marriage. You grimace and mutter your thanks to him.

*

Two weeks have passed in a blink, and you are seriously pleased with the way things are. It feels like the boundary has been torn down between you two, and pretty clear that Seokjin’s been making an effort for your relationship as well. Usually, you always feel the things he does is based on mere obligation, but you know it’s no longer the case for him. You can feel how much he cares and adores you—receiving your bear hugs whenever he comes home, holding you close before coming to bed, kissing your forehead whenever it feels right. 

Just like today. You are feeling a bit feverish, and when you reply to his message asking how’re you doing, he immediately calls.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asks after the first beep, tone laced with concern. “If you’re not feeling good, you should go home. Do you want me to call a taxi? Or can you wait for an hour, I’ll take you home.”

“I’m fine. This is not really rare. I’ll be fine soon.” You giggle, even inside of you tickles on the wondrous feeling of him caring for your well being. “I’ll go straight home after this.”

“Okay. I’ll get you.” He reminds and you hum in agreement. “Stay put until then, okay?”

I love you. “See you.”

I love you too. “Bye.”

And while driving home with Seokjin, you don’t know why but you feel physically much better than before. It just feels so right with him beside you. Especially when you initiate to hold his hand, he lets go for a second and repositions himself so he could hold your hand better—you seriously think you could fall sick on how jumpy you’ve become because of him. 

“Are you sure you’re sick? Or you just need some attention, hmm?” He teases, lightly pinches your cheek. You huff in embarrassment. 

“You’re annoying.” You are about to pull back your hand to your lap when he holds it tighter. 

“Who says I wanna let go.” Seokjin’s lips curl into a hearty smile. You still maintain your fake scowl. “You’re just so cute, that’s what.”

“Why are you so cheesy nowadays.” You burst in laughter, unable to hold it back. Seokjin beams, and reliably parks the car in your apartment’s basement with one hand. Finally silence, it's only you and him with the soft engine sound when he pulls you to his arms.

“Thank you for loving me. I seriously don’t know what you see in me, but I seriously can’t believe that you really like me and want to go through this.” He exhales softly, his left arms holding you by the waist, his right stroking your hair. “I hope that you know that I’m trying my best here. But I don’t know why, it doesn’t even feel like trying. Everything is so easy with you.”

“That’s really cheesy.” You chuckles, but tighten your arms around him regardless. “I’m also very thankful that you’re giving us a chance. I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. I keep on making a mess, falling in love when I shouldn’t—”

“Hey, don’t say that. I am really happy we’ve been through this, or I might always chicken out. Even if it could be better if I wasn’t such a jackass, but I’m still grateful.” He coos, pecking your forehead.

Releasing his hug, you are about to mutter something when he cuts with his lips lurching unto yours, cutting whatever sound beside loud moans. You are taken aback, falling a step back before steadying yourself by finding purchase on his shoulder. His palms are on either side of your face, pacing himself. 

You spend no time responding, savoring the tender taste of his lips. He tasted just the way you remember, sweet and addicting that leaves you wondering why you haven’t been doing this since the beginning. Catching a breath, he laps at your lips for opening, and as you comply, he roughly pulls you closer by the nape, tangling his tongue like he is a man starved all this time. 

“Did you eat a donut?” You giggle when he lets your lips go, trailing pepper kisses on your neck instead. When his lips ghosts to the succulent curve of your v-neck top, you abruptly pull him up to see you in the eye. 

“Baby, don’t. Not here. We’re just steps away from the apartment and we’re not getting reprimanded of public indecency.” You remind him. Seokjin scoffs, letting out a deep sigh.

“You shouldn’t wear this top. This is not good for my health.” He frowns as you laugh. “And what are you thinking, I’m not going to have our first time in this car. It was just an intro, so you better be prepared.”

“Ooh, consider me spooked, then.” You smirk in mischief. It is somehow proven by the way Seokjin cannot take his hands off of your waist, ghosting right above the bump of your ass while ascending to your apartment. At all the action you feel the discomfort between your thigh—high chance you are already dripping wet. You have been feeling exceptionally horny this few days, anyway. 

“And don’t think I didn’t know the way you’re invading my space and grinding your ass last night when we went to sleep.” He suddenly mentions the event that leaves you all blushing—especially with the other residents on the elevator. You elbow him right away, finger crossed they won’t hear a word he’s saying.

Arriving in your apartment, Seokjin doesn’t hesitate when he pulls you for a deep kiss, his fingers hovering on the hem of your top to detach it from you, flinging it to wherever. Your skin shivers when his fingers are in contact with your bare skin, and to your bra as he grabs the succulent flesh that leaves you a moaning mess. 

“Baby, wait. I need to go to the restroom.” You whisper between the kiss, when  the incessant throb quite overwhelming your good sense now. Seokjin huffs in pout but let go either way. There’s no way he will say no to whatever request you have for him.

“Don’t be long, sweetheart.”

Running to your toilet with a qualmish feeling on your stomach, you quickly discard your panties with a hypothesis—to have it confirmed by how it has been ruined… with your period blood. You hiss, the frustration building up in your head. You are just about to have sex with your husband after long days of pining, and you just had to have the period on the exact same day. There’s gotta be wrong with your luck.

Finally cleaning yourself, you walk out to find your husband is sitting on the couch, a visible hard-on from his trousers. At the sound of you walking out, he stands but to find your deep frown. “Hey, sweetheart. What’s wrong?”

“Ugh, I hate this so much. I can’t believe we’re about to do this but I got to have my period.” You run to his side, wrapping your arms around him. “I’m sorry for ruining this.”

At your visible dejection, Seokjin can’t bear but to giggle and it leaves you puzzled. How can he be laughing now? “Hey, it’s no matter to me. We can do something else about it, okay? I’ll take care of you. And we can leave that one for raincheck, so don’t be upset.”

Seokjin spends no other second in ravishing your lips while detaching your bra, discarding it in the same manner. His large palms grab the mounds, giving it a little squeeze before pinching your sensitive buds, especially now that you’re in your period. “Ugh, god. You’re so beautiful.” He gruffly mutters before taking your left mounds into his mouth, giving it a hard suck that you have to tug on his fluffy hair on how the pleasure has engulfed you. 

“Seokjin...” You moan his name as he shifts to the other mounds, his other hand strays to your clothed core, giving it a feathery touch before he pushes his digits. You bit your lips, holding back a sound.

“Don’t hold back, sweetheart. I want to hear all of you tonight.” He reminds. You nod, feeling your mind has clouded in haze and all you can feel is how great he is with his deed.

Noticing how he has been focusing on your pleasure and satisfaction, you push him back to the couch, your knees on the wooden floor before taking a ride for yourself by opening the fly of his trousers. Seokjin gasps at your cold hands on his erected cock before it springs free in all its glory. 

“God, you’re so big. I’m not sure if I can take you end when this fucking period is over.” You are shocked at the size of his girthy dick, the precum is already leaking and you can feel your saliva swimming in your mouth—desperate for a taste.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I told you I’ll take care of you, okay?” He comforts, before his tone drops. “Now suck on my cock like you’re a bitch in heat.”

You give a kittish lap on the slit, tasting the saltiness that is unfamiliar to your tongue, but is easy to discard when encouraged by the moan he is letting out with such favor. Noticing that it might hurt him to be blown without proper preparation, you spit on his dick, before giving him a sensual pump. “Fuck, Y/N, where did you learn to do that—god!” He moans in rapture. 

Your mouth closes in, sucking on the tip before taking him in your mouth. You run your tongue along the vein of his beautiful cock, wrapping your lips tight around it, feeling how it throbs in your mouth. “Fuck, don’t stop. Don’t stop.” He hisses, pushing his cock deeper into your mouth. But for the intention of teasing, you’re detaching your lips, going to the ridge of his cock’s length for a lick.

“Damn it, baby, why are you such a tease.” He groans, but is cut with your palm wrapping around his dick, the other slides up to his ball. You can feel a new wave of arousal coming out from your pussy. “Now let me fuck your throat.” He stoutly orders with hooded eyes, forcing your mouth back to take in his red tip and length until it hits the back of your throat—resulting in a gag. Seokjin gathers your hair, helping it out of your way before he raises his hips, feeling the wondrous feeling of your mouth clamming on his dick.

“Don’t flex your throat, sweetheart. Relax, okay? Tell me if you want to stop.” He stares at you, and you nod. You fucking love this, and you’d literally do anything to make him satisfied tonight. Your throat relaxes, and you savor his satisfied groans after feeling the back walls of your throat, with the tears streaking your cheek at his pace and feeling the burn. 

“O-oh g-god, F-fuck y-yes.” Seokjin pants, each syllable coming out as he thrust into your throat. “Look at me, sweetheart. I want to see your pretty face while I fucked your mouth hard.” He angles you better until he is satisfied, the lewd image of his cock stuffed into your mouth instantly sends him jerking faster.

A throaty moan slips out of you, and the action successfully sends him to his edge, feeling the vibrations cause his cock to throb in your pretty mouth. “Fuck, this is amazing. You’re so fucking great.” The compliments earns him another groan from you, and it ignites the leading to his awaited orgasm.

Few other thrusts in your throat, you finally feel Seokjin constricting inside of you. He’s about to come, and you’re expecting him to release his load for you to swallow—you were prepared, overall—but unexpectedly he retracts from your mouth, instead jerking off in immaculate pace, and the loss of his dick leaves hollowness inside your throat. “I wanna cum on your tits, baby.” He gruffly whispers.

“Give it to me, daddy.” You persuade, as he pants, still working on his red cock—on the edge of his orgasm. Yet not even once he turns his gaze from you, all red and high with lust hooded in your eyes, the trace of tears on the side of cheek, the swole of your plump lips coated in his pre cum and spit. You look surreal. 

“Fuck-fuck! You’re so fucking beautiful.” He hisses, increasing the pace of his pumps before releasing his massive loads on your tits, painting it white. You look down to yourself, feeling his cum trickles down to your nipples and to your thigh. You swipe the liquid with your forefinger, before lapping it clean inside your mouth, internally revolting at the taste.

“Damn, this is crazy. How the fuck you are so good at that.” He sighs in delight, looking at you with lidded eyes and evident aftersex glow. “Let me clean you up.” He reaches for the tissue, cleaning his loads on your breast. Both of you involuntary laughs at the current event. 

“Come here.” He crouches down, scoops you into his hold before moving to the bedroom. You abruptly circle your arm around his neck, he closes in for your lips for another make out session on bed. While his tongue is lapping at your own, his fingers move to stimulate you with your hardened nipple until your breath is rigged. His right finger cups your clothed core, giving it a welcomed pressure and humping it until you’re left with moans and satisfied sighs, your finger clutches on his hair, tugging it lightly. 

Seokjin’s lips advanced to your ear,giving it a kittish lick. “And you better be prepared, I will eat you out and fuck you all night afer your period is done, sweetheart..”

*

It’s finally Friday, and you are at your desk for work after lunch. Suddenly, Jane closes in at you. “What are you looking at that seriously?” She inquires, noticing you’ve been staring at the calendar on your desk for longer than anyone should. You turn to her, and shake your head silently. 

“No, I just realized that it's soon December.”

“So?”

“It’s soon will be Seokjin’s birthday. He’s turning 34.”

Jane nods in understanding. “Will you get him anything?”

“I don’t know.” You tap your chin, thinking of what to get him. You’ve been scrolling through commerce websites, yet to find even an idea about what to give to him. And it hits you—maybe you don’t really know him after all. “What did you get your husband for his birthday?”

She chuckles. “Last birthday I gave him a responsibility of a lifetime—my pregnancy test came out positive. I wouldn’t say it was a very good birthday present though, as we didn’t really expect a pregnancy after all.”

It dims you right away. Pregnancy? It is too far fetched, right? You haven’t even discussed it with Seokjin—and you don’t want to directly throw him a responsibility for another life being when your romantic relationship has basically just started. Days after days of late nights humping and blowjobs, waiting for your period is over is not basically a very firm foundation for having kids. You don’t even know if you’re ready for it.

And today is the last day of your period. Seokjin has actually asked if you want a dinner together—and you said yes. Based on his promise, today should also be the day you will be making love till dawn. But this dampens your mood a bit, at the thought of having kids frightens you. 

Scrolling through instagram, you see that Tasha, your sister-in-law has posted a series of photos from the previous birthday lunch of your father-in-law. The first photo is the five of them smiling together, the second is their three children with the grandparents, and the next one is Seokjin, smiling while he’s caging Taehyun’s little frame inside his arms. You smile longingly at that. Nobody can deny it though—Seokjin is amazing with kids, you know how much he loves them. And there are countless times you pity him for marrying you—as children were never part of your plan before.

But now you love him. And so does he.

And the thoughts have been haunting you that even when you’re seated in front of him in a high class restaurant, Seokjin can sense something is bothering your mind. He holds you by the hand across the table, and how you instinctively flinch confirms his suspicion. 

“Sweetheart, are you okay?”

You smile nervously at him, shrugging. “I am fine, but yeah.. Something is just.. bugging my mind, that’s all.”

“What is it?” He asks softly, a bit worried. “Don’t you like this place? Are you cold? You’re not sick, right?”

“It’s not it.” You giggle at his cute attention. “I just... you know, I saw the date and realized that you’re having a birthday soon. I just don’t know what to get you. A bit upset that maybe it feels like I don’t know you that well, that’s all.”

His face lightens at that, the creases of his smile evident. “No, you don’t have to get me anything. I’m just happy with what we have right now.” He gazes at you, pulling your hands to give it a light kiss. “I am just.. very thankful that you’re here.”

“But I want to give you something.” You frown, looking down. “It feels like you’re always taking care of me, and I’m always at the receiving end.”

“Why are—Y/N, you are the most selfless person I know. The way you take care of me just shows how much I owe you with anything I have. I want to make you happy, as you already made me the happiest I can be.” He explains in rush, like he’ll suffocate if you don’t realize how precious you are to him any time soon.

“Thank you.” You gratefully replies, holding back the tears from falling.

The next two hours, you’re already in bed with Seokjin on top of you, both your clothes are far long discarded on the floor. His palm is grabbing your succulent mounds, his right palm on the bed beside your face. His lips are lapping at yours, savoring the wine you consumed from the previous dinner.

“Seokjin, please put your dick inside me.” You moan before biting his lower lips. He smirks haughtily.

“Not so fast. I promised I’d eat you, didn’t I, kitten?” He questions, before moving his kisses to your neck, breast, stomach and to your thigh. You bite your own lips, your breath hitched when feeling the cold air he blows to your throbbing core. 

He laps at your cunt, his fingers sensually moving in circles for stimulation, and when his tongue is finally in contact with your clit, you feel the new wave of arousal is dripping out. Seokjin grins, instantly welcoming it with his tongue that leaves you a moaning mess. “Kitten, you’re dripping so much. Do you want to be fucked that badly?”

“Yes, yes, daddy. Don’t hesitate, please fuck me.” You breath out, finally pulling his face closer to your cunt. Seokjin slaps them harshly, eyes turning dark at your disobedience.

“Are you not going to be patient, kitten? Do you want daddy to stop fucking you?”

The thoughts literally scare your whole being that you deters from touching him. “Daddy, please. Fuck me, stuff me with your big cock.”

After that he continues on with his crazy good tongue, moving in and out of you until you screams his name in pleasure. Not only his tongue, his digits enter you in exchange, furthering them inside to scissors you until you are crying of ecstasy. As your orgasm builds up, he circles your clit in wondrous motions with simultaneous licking your cunt which helps you reach your edge. And not even another minute, you cum generously on his tongue.

Few minutes of reaching your breath, Seokjin laughs at your fucked out expression, your orgasm has caught up with you. You are literally glowing with sweat and satisfaction that it literally takes his breath with how blissful you feel, because of him.

“Don’t look at me like that, baby. I still need to ride you, need you to cum inside me.” You remind him right after finding his strangely contented expression staring down at you. “Just... let me take a breather, okay?”

“Are you sure you can ride me? It seems like you lost all your energy.” He giggles, plopping beside you on bed, pulling you close to his chest, that you are leaning on his arm. “I am marrying a fifty years old. How come you already lost your stamina after an orgasm?”

“It’s not it! I’m just a bit tired after work.” You scowl, rolling your eyes at his teases. “You are so annoying.”

He smirks, pecking you in the lips. “But you love me, right?”

“My fault, I know.” You huff. In Seokjin's hearty smile, and you suddenly are  reminded of the photo of him Tasha posted this afternoon. 

“Seokjin. Can I ask you something?” You ask, fidgeting your finger. Seokjin hums. “You know, I saw Tasha posted a photo of you and Taehyun this morning. And I was just thinking… if you want a child?”

“What?” He looks down at you, a bit of confusion written on his face that it scares you he’ll not take this like you want him to.

“No, it’s just—I just think that you like kids very much and they like you too, I am just thinking if you want a child. I don’t mean it now, b-but if y-you want now—”

“Sweetheart, has this been bothering your mind when we had dinner? About having a child?”

You look down, suddenly not courageous enough to face him, afraid of finding the disappointment or doubt in his eyes. “Yes. No. Maybe? I don’t know.”

Seokjin closes you again now that you are chest by chest, face by face, his arms circling your back. “I want everything with you, Y/N. At the right place, at the right time.”

He continues, fixes your locks and rests a few lost strands behind your ear lovingly. “I know this has been hard, especially for you. Pregnancy, birthing is never easy, and I know it’s not really in your plan, even including me. So I will never force you to anything. I want everything you want, okay? And it’s your body. It’s your choice.”

You nod, burying your face on his shoulder, finding purchase on the musky scent of his. Oh, how much you love this man. “Thank you. I don’t know why you always have the rightest thing to say. I really, really envy and love you for it.”

“You went through for me. Of course I want to give you everything. I love you, Y/N, until the sea sleeps.” 

“Until the sea sleeps?” You cocks your head in questions. He nods affirmatively.

“Yes. If life is the sea, I want to go through it with you. Until it ends. Until it sleeps.” He plants kisses lovingly on your forehead, to your nose, and finally, to your lips. But at once you finally push him on his back, internally shouting in joy at his choice of grand large bed.

“How can you say such thoughtful and beautiful words with your dick is pressing on my stomach.“ You hisses in fake chagrin, before continuing. 

“I love you too, but for now let me ride you, daddy...” You whisper sensually, grinding at his half-erected cock. Seokjin smirks in amusement, resting both his palm behind his head as he enjoys the lewd sight, your breast jiggling wonderfully, your cold hands palming his dick.

Oh god, how much he loves you...

*

2 Years Later....

“Honey, can you help grabbing the diapers?” You pleaded from your bedroom, carefully cleaning your five months old baby girl, throwing away the spoiled diapers near your feet. Seokjin quickly arrives with a fresh set of diapers, baby oils, a fresh pair of baby overalls and beige shirt.

“Thank you, honey, you’re the best.” You smile as he pecks your lips slightly. You continue your work in changing Mina’s clothes as the baby lets out a light gurgles, Seokjin sitting across the bed, his lips curling at the beautiful sight. 

After finally falling in love with each other two years ago, you and Seokjin decided to go with your own pace and did not rush into having kids. It was the best decision after all, not a hint of doubts when you knew he’s just as invested as you are in this marriage. You decided to savor it all, both you and Seokjin took leave from work and humdrum life to explore the other side of world together. 

And eight months together passed, you and him both decided it would be the perfect time for you to start getting off the birth pill. Few months of trying and getting pregnancy, you and Seokjin are granted the beautiful healthy baby girl, whom both you named as Kim Mina.

Holding her then or now, you just know she’s already the best gift of your life that you’d do anything for her happiness and well being. 

“So, is Taehyung and Tasha anywhere near our house?” You ask, glancing at the clock. “They are probably the only people I’d worry at this point. All my work friends are already on the way. Yoongi is already in the way, right?”

“Yes he is. But no worry about Taehyung, sweetheart. I have made him promise or else he’ll have to be a clown for Mina’s birthday party.” Seokjin laughs. “All the food is served, everything is in the way it should be. We are going through this.”

“I can’t believe we’re finally having a housewarming party. And a baby too.” You laugh dreamily, picking up Mina to cradle on your chest. “Four years ago us would never believed this.”

“Four years ago Seokjin was a blind fool, I had to say. He almost missed the greatest woman on the planet.” Seokjin warmly back hugs you, kissing your cheek lovingly. You hum in mirth. “Luckily this greatest woman is willing to fight for him. The greatest gift for that lucky bastard, I have to say.”

“Well, she loved him too much, I have to say. It was all worth it.”

With the end of the sentence, a chime of bell is heard—somebody is coming. You quickly walk to the door with Seokjin on your side. The first one to arrive is Hoseok and Jungkook, the only single bachelor of the party. “Hi, Y/N, Seokjin! Congratulations, the house is incredible.” Both of them give you a sided hug, and Jungkook shoves two bottles of wine on your hold. 

“Drink up!” Jungkook giggles, kissing your baby’s cheek as he taps on Seokjin’s shoulder as a greeting, walking into your house to your tables of served dishes. 

In a spare of minutes, few of yours and Seokjin friends are walking in—Jane and her family, Namjoon and his wife and kid, and Yoongi with his girlfriend. You welcome them all with a wide smile, thankful for their presence.

Your parents and Seokjin’s surprisingly arrive right after each other, simultaneously gushing at their grandchild. “Mina! My very cute grandchild!” Your mother squeals in delight after giving you and Seokjin a greeting hug. Seokjin’s mother immediately scoops Mina out of your grasp, moving inside the house to play with her.

Walking around talking with your friends, another bell chime is heard from the door. You and Seokjin walk to open it, finding Jimin on the door with Yoonji, his wife of three months. Their face instantly lightens up at you, and you move to hug the blissful new couple. 

About Jimin, he finally moved back from Sydney to Seoul for good one and a half years ago. He was taking over a few branches of his father’s business, and you started rekindling the friendship with him. And you don’t want to brag, but you are the matchmaker for Jimin and Yoonji. She was the new assistant manager at your unit, and one dinner, you invited Jimin for dinner with your work friend’s and they instantly hit the bat right away. It doesn’t even take a year for Jimin to get on one knee and propose to her.

“Hi, Seokjin.” Jimin grins in courtesy. Seokjin answers with a laugh, pulling the younger guy into a side hug. You point Yoonji her way to Hoseok and Jungkook. “Congrats on the new house, man. This place is great.” Jimin sincerely compliments, handing him a large box of  housewarming gifts which Seokjin gladly receives with loud squeaky laughs of thank you.

It’s also been a year since Jimin had the talk with Seokjin, in which they bonded over alcohol and food. Jimin also apologized to what he did a few years back, and Seokjin instantly accepted it—no hard feelings, knowing that it was for the best as he finally found you, the best thing that happened to him. After that, Jimin basically joins the gang with Seokjin and Yoongi, and also hangs out with your friends slash his wife’s friend. It was all good.

After the housewarming party time finally arrives, the helper hands the drinks in tray for a toast. You lean onto Seokjin’s chest, as he begins the welcoming toast.

“Thank you everyone for coming. This hasn’t been a very easy ride with me and Y/N, but we are very thankful to where we are right now. A beautiful baby, a great house, a great loan—” Everyone chuckles at his joke. “ —but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wanna say thank you to my wife, who has stood by me through thick and thin. I’d never be able to do it without you.”

Suddenly, the shouts to kiss are visible—high chance initiated by Jeon Jungkook—and you giggle before pressing a tender kiss to his lips. The aws are heard, and Seokjin looks back to the audience. “Thank you to my family and friends. Your great support is the reason we are here right now. I am very grateful.”

“Let’s toast, for this wonderful day. May we always be healthy and happy. Cheers!” Seokjin smiles and clinks his glass of champagne to yours. The sound of glass clinking against each other is heard simultaneously, and you sips on the beverage. Seokjin gazes down on you, a toxicated smile on his lips. 

“What?” You ask, falling a bit shy.

“I am so happy. You make me very happy, and I thank you for that.” He closes, resting his forehead on yours. “I love you, sweetheart. Until the sea sleeps.”

You hum in serenity, savoring his wondrous scent. “I love you too, baby. Until the sea sleeps.”

Suddenly, the doors are busted open, Taehyung rushed eyes staring confusedly at the large group of people settling on their places, Taehyun on his grasp. “Am I late? I don’t have to be a clown, right?!”

Just an disinterested glace before the crowd disperse around the home in group. Seokjin cunningly smirks at him, walking closer and taps his shoulder in a fake comforting manner. 

“Sorry, brother. Looking forward to you coming as a clown in Mina’s birthday party, okay?”

“Fuck.” He curses under his breath, but is not missed by your approaching mother-in-law. She immediately screeches loudly in anger, completely enraged with both hands on hips.

“Kim Taehyung! Your son is there, and you curse?! How dare you set out a bad example for your son?!”

He grimace, glaring at you and your husband who are laughing heartily at his clear misery.

“Lord, have your mercy.”

Thank you for reading! it’s such a great ride writing this. Credits to one quora answer I read that inspires this whole fluffy prompt. And all the smut writers that inspired me on writing such unholy scenes lol

Do slide into my ask box and let me know what you think! 🤩💜💌  And check out my other fics ➡ (click here)!

#bts #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts jin #bts fanfic #bts x reader #seokjin smut #seokjin fluff #bts seokjin smut #taehyung #jungkook #ot7 #ot7 smut #seokjin x reader #taecalikook #bts marriage au #bts strangers to lovers

[qobiin]

to live for us

pairing: gratsu (gray x natsu)

genre: angst, fluff | established relationship, canon-compliant

warnings: mentioned suicide attempt, post-galuna island arc, hurt/comfort, gray needs therapy

word count: 1684

summary: Natsu and Gray finally sit down and talk about Gray's Iced Shell attempt on Galuna Island.

“We need to talk.”

Natsu looks up from the drink Mirajane set down on the table before him a few minutes ago. Gray is standing in front of him, arms crossed against his chest in an attempt to stop his hands from subconsciously removing his clothes.

It never works, but Gray is of the mind that it makes him appear more intimidating than he actually is. Of course, Natsu isn’t sure he could ever find someone who wears underwear with hearts on them intimidating.

“Finally!” Natsu cheers, forcing a smile onto his face even when it’s the last thing he wishes to do. “Back home then?”

Gray nods even as he scowls, but he turns on his heel and immediately makes his way towards Fairy Tail’s doors anyway. Natsu jumps up from his seat and waves goodbye to Lucy who is sitting at the bar with Erza.

Happy looks up at him as he stands, but Natsu only has to wave wordlessly at him before the blue cat returns to focusing on his food. Gray is already halfway across the room, not one to wait or beat around the bush for important conversations like the one they are going to have. Natsu follows after him with his signature smile stuck in place, making sure to not have anything appear out of the ordinary about this situation.

He catches a few Fairy Tail members giving them odd glances, probably due to his and Gray’s lack of fighting and loud taunting. Natsu only waves pointedly at them before they avert their gazes and return back to what they were doing beforehand.

Natsu does not try to be subtle as he sniffs the air, taking in the familiar mix of scents in the guild. Everyone in the guild has known him long enough to know about the extent of the abilities he gained through the Dragon Slayer Magic that Igneel taught him as a child. There’s no need to be secretive around his hoard anyway.

Out in the streets, trailing after Gray as he leads them home, Natsu tones down on his sniffing as best as he can. If he garners a few strange or confused looks though, he doesn’t beat himself up about it. Most of these people will write off his behavior as a weird wizard thing and continue on with their day as they give him a wide berth. There is no need to worry.

His attention is drawn back to the moment when the scents start to signal his proximity to their home. Gray reaches the front door first and unlocks it, leaving it open for Natsu behind him.

The smell of home almost knocks him off his feet as he crosses the threshold. It’s just his, Happy, and Gray’s scents here, with hints of Erza scattered all around. Albeit, Gray’s scent is a bit stale considering the fact this is his first time returning home since they came back from Galuna Island.

They escaped punishment for breaking guild rules because the master wasn’t there but Natsu would like to not switch bodies with anyone ever again. It has been a few days at this point and still, Gray has not returned home. Natsu has been waiting patiently for this moment when they will sit down and discuss what is wrong.

Gray is sitting on their bed, shoes off and hands gripping the bottom of his shirt. Natsu reaches out and stops him from stripping, eyes on Gray’s face as the man focuses back in on the moment at present.

“Thanks,” Gray mumbles sullenly, his gaze downcast.

Natsu doesn’t say anything. He merely waits.

“I know you’re mad at me, but if you could tell me why you’re mad at me, it would make my apologizing to you much easier,” Gray scrambles to say after a moment of silence has passed between them.

Natsu tilts his head to the side and inhales, tasting the nerves and fright swirling around the edges of Gray’s scent. He exhales heavily, sitting down slowly on the bed beside Gray.

He leans back and lies down, keeping his eyes on the ceiling and not the man who should have been home with him these past few days. “I’m not mad.”

Gray twists at the waist to stare at him, his shoulders a stiff line that Natsu isn’t sure he has permission to soothe just yet. “Lying won’t help.”

“I’m not mad,” Natsu repeats, relaxing as their scents begin to blend together. “I’m worried about you. You scared me back there when you were going to sacrifice yourself to restrain Lyon. You knew by doing it your way you were going to end your life and yet you tried anyway.”

The silence that befalls them then is deafening. It goes on long enough that Natsu wonders if he should be angry after all. After a few seconds of contemplation though, he decides that anger would not help him right now and waits patiently for Gray to say something.

However, the longer the silence continues, the less likely Natsu believes that to be. Gray isn’t known for talking about feelings. Not just his own, but discussing feelings in general always gives his face a pinched quality that Natsu can’t help but laugh at sometimes.

He isn’t laughing now.

“You remember what I said when I asked you if we could find a place together, right?” Natsu asks once he is certain Gray won’t say anything without more prompting.

Natsu sees Gray’s nod in the corner of his eye and grins up at the ceiling as he thinks of the memory. Gray’s eyes had gone wide with surprise, his scent expanding with the force of it and appealing to Natsu so much he barely realized how close he had been getting until Gray pushed him back with a hand on his bare chest. Natsu had leaned in again to bury his nose in Gray’s neck anyway and gulp down lungfuls of his scent, smiling as Gray threaded his fingers through his hair and asked him why.

“I told you that you were the first in the guild to be added to my hoard when we were children. That I would want you near almost always and would despise every moment that we were apart,” Natsu recalls, his smile softer at the edges now. “I told you I fell in love with you when we were teenagers and that I would like to make you my mate in the future and you accepted.”

Natsu waits again, just to see if Gray will say anything at all before he uses his last-ditch effort. “How am I going to make you my mate if you’re not there for the future?”

Gray makes a sound as if Natsu has just kicked all the air out of his chest. They have fought and sparred enough times for Natsu to know what that actually sounds like so when Gray wheezes, he sits up quickly. He reaches out and takes Gray’s hands, biting his lip as the man who is his opposite in almost everything finally begins to cry.

Natsu moves closer until he can wrap his arms around Gray, tucking his head under Natsu’s chin as he shakes. His breath hitches but Natsu only clutches him tighter, holding him securely in his arms even as Gray somehow migrates to his lap. Natsu doesn’t mind that, he just holds on and waits.

Eventually, Gray’s sobs begin to make sense. Most of what he is saying is a mantra of “I’m sorry”s and half-aborted “I didn’t mean to do that”s, but Natsu gets the gist. He shushes and rocks Gray in his arms, focusing on their scents instead of the urge to cry with his mate.

When the worst of Gray’s tears have dried up, Natsu kisses the side of his head and pulls back far enough for their gazes to meet. Gray’s eyes are red-rimmed and puffy but he isn’t avoiding Natsu’s gaze anymore and that’s definitely a start.

“I think what happened with Ur was only dragged back up at Galuna Island and you never really healed from it,” Natsu ponders aloud, tilting his head in silent question and continuing when Gray nods tiredly. “She raised you like Igneel raised me and we’ve never gotten over suddenly losing them. Have we?”

Gray has to clear his throat twice before he says, “I don’t think we’ll ever be over that.”

“No,” Natsu agrees. “We won’t.”

“I should talk to someone,” Gray murmurs, the corners of his mouth twitching with amusement when Natsu raises an unimpressed brow at him. “A professional. Mirajane has been saying I should talk to the Good Doctor who helped Elfman after…”

Natsu smiles bitterly in response. Elfman was not the only one who had to talk to the Good Doctor after Lisanna died after all. Gray knows about this, of course, but Natsu had never strived to convince him of talking to the Good Doctor until now.

“I can let them know at my next session to expect an inquiry from you?” Natsu suggests.

Gray nods, leaning in quickly to press a kiss to Natsu’s cheek. “I’m still sorry. I just didn’t know how to fix things back on Galuna Island.”

Natsu nods but knows without seeing that his smile is not as bright anymore. “I think you just have to remember that you’re not alone anymore. Neither of us is and I’ll always have your back. We’re Fairy Tail members and you’re the one who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want us both to have long futures ahead of us.”

Gray’s cheeks flush a light pink, his scent curling with both embarrassment and quiet joy. “It will be hard, but I’ll try. If not for me or for you, then for Ur. For the life she gave me by giving up her own.”

“For Ur and Igneel,” Natsu agrees. “May they look upon us and see us happy. Together.”

“Together,” Gray assures him before he leans in and their lips meet in a soft kiss.

a/n: i forgot to post this when i first posted it on ao3, but i hope you all like this! this was written for icewhisper as part of the secret snipers exchange 2020!

#gratsu #gray x natsu #natsu x gray #fairy tail #ft #oneshot #f:ft #g:angst #g:fluff #t:oneshot #p:gray/natsu #tlfu #m: fic

[clumsyclifford]

ok hello i absolutely love all ur fics, you’ve just got a certain quality in ur writing that is just… mmm. yeah so anyway, do you have any advice on how to improve or just how to write?? (especially fic cause personally i struggle with that more than original stuff??)

hello!! that is very kind of you to say thank you <3

advice on how to write. oh boy. oh man. well i can try. i will do my best. i will also try to be brief but we all know how that song goes

update from having finished answering this: alright. okay. this is not only long, but decidedly english teacher-y. i’m sorry that i am the way that i am. this is what you get for asking a leo for writing advice. am i joking? maybe. maybe not. anyway. this post got away from me in a big way so here’s a read more. warning: LONG post under the cut.

1. study your characters. for RPF like the band stuff i write, that literally means watching interviews, watching them perform, seeing how they interact with each other, picking up on their mannerisms (behavior) - what they do with their hands, if they repeat themselves or stutter when they talk, the quality of their voice when they're talking about different things, and so on. also keep track of things they mention a lot in interviews especially about each other - for example jack has mentioned before that alex has an annoying habit of twirling his hair when he zones out. that kind of thing. IMPORTANT NOTE!: you don’t have to use all of this information. just like studying for anything, you collect all the information you can and then you parse through it and use whatever you think will contribute or be relevant to your story.

2. remember that characters are people. or at least they’re representing people, which is an important distinction (see #3). still, considering that your characters are people can be a helpful way to get out of your head. see, characters are supposed to be archetypical, and fulfill a role, and say certain things in certain ways and never really deviate from that. but people are highly unpredictable and behave in random ways for random reasons and have thought processes that are unfathomable. people will just do fuckin’ whatever. if you’re worried that your characters aren’t behaving in a believable way, keep in mind that you’re trying to make your characters represent people, and people’s behavior is justifiable any number of ways. people just do shit.

3. remember that characters are not people. sike! no but seriously, this is just as important to remember. unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, characters are never going to be people. that’s a good thing for stories, though. characters can pick up on nuance in senses that people can’t - they can distinguish between different facial expressions, different smells, different sounds - BUT ONLY INSOFAR AS IT MOVES THE STORY ALONG. in other ways, characters are ridiculously oblivious. you can use this to your advantage. in fact, a lot of the time, you have to. if your character notices right away that someone is flirting with him, then you can’t write a 30k slow burn, for example. characters don’t do that thing humans do where they go “what?” but then halfway through the re-explanation they register what’s been said. pretty much everything characters say has meaning. (by this i don’t mean semantic meaning, i mean significance - characters don’t really just say “what?” because they didn’t hear what someone said, they say “what?” because they can’t believe it or they don’t understand it or they refuse to understand it. characters never seem to run into the didn’t-hear-them problem. must be nice.)

characters can do whatever you want or need them to do, because you’re in charge of them. (sometimes this doesn’t feel true - mine do all kinds of shit and i just have go “well alright then” - but it is true.) they are gears in a story. you decide when and how they turn.

4. dialogue is your friend. i am super super biased here, because i looove writing dialogue. if you talk to sam about this i’m sure she would say that description and narration are the ways to go. but you came to me, so i get to say that dialogue is god. i don’t want to say that dialogue is the only method of communication (i know nonverbal communication is real), but dialogue is the fastest and most effective method of communication, and by extension, the most effective way to advance relationships between characters. now. obviously there are exceptions. if characters are kissing, they’re probably not doing a lot of talking. if they’re trying to be undercover or discreet, they’re more likely to rely on gestures and facial expressions than speaking. if you’re writing a very peaceful scene, you might not want to undercut it by adding a lot of chit-chat. but i maintain that dialogue is the best way to move a story along, for a few reasons. 

first, at least for me, too much description is just tiring. depending on how skillful the writer is (sam), i can read a fair amount before i hit my limit, but unlike in mean girls, the limit DOES exist. you don’t want to over-describe the world (see #5). second, i find that dialogue is a really really good indicator of a person’s character. this is especially true and relevant in fanfiction, which is a lot more character-driven than original fiction in many ways. also, in a sec i’m gonna talk about showing [not/and] telling, which is every english teacher’s bitch, but dialogue is a really good way of showing who a person is and also a good way to establish facts about the universe. you could just narrate and be like “Jack hated waking up early,” and that works and in many cases it’s perfectly legit. but you could also do something like this:

“What the fuck,” Jack mumbled, still half asleep. “You better have a really fucking good reason to be waking me up this early. Like someone better have fucking died.”

and sometimes that’s just a more fun way to say it. (for the record you can also show AND tell here! there’s no reason why you can’t have this line of dialogue and then a line in the narration confirming how very much jack is not a morning person!)

the last reason why i am particularly fond of dialogue is because i am also particularly fond of communication, which is a preference thing. let’s face it, guys: characters aren’t gonna communicate if they’re not literally actually talking to each other. dialogue means talking to each other. talking to each other means solving problems, fixing (or creating) conflicts, understanding each other better. i love communication, ergo, i love dialogue. And You Should Too. 

5. describe the world, but don’t over-describe. i opened this fic earlier and it was like “jack was excited to wake up to go to his first class at the university of baltimore” and i just. i was like is this really relevant. do i really need to know this. and i never found out because i closed the fic but in my defense it was on wattpad and i had only opened it out of curiosity. look. there are three ways to use details in fic. (a) introduce them right away (b) introduce them when they become relevant or (c) don’t introduce them at all. let me give you some examples. 

(a) say your character A (i’m using jack because i’m used to him) wakes up. he’s in his room in his house off-campus. character B (rian) walks into the room. this might be a good time to explain that rian is his housemate. to that point: “show not tell” is a good rule, but sometimes “show and tell” is just as good. e.g.: 

Rian walks in, holding Jack’s Green Day shirt and looking irritated. That’s really nothing new; Rian looks irritated at Jack roughly once a day. Being housemates for a year will do that to a friendship.

boom, now you’ve let everyone know they live together without throwing it in their face, and you’ve also told everyone that these two guys are friends and have been friends for at least a year but probably longer. you showed it by having rian walking in holding jack’s shirt - usual housemate behavior - but you also told it in a subtle way that established the relationship and some kind of history between these two. well done.

(b) sometimes you want a certain detail to make an impact. this is the kind of thing you hold onto and don’t specify, and in certain cases you leave the reader wondering, “well what about x?” and then when you finally explain x they go ohhhhhhhhhh. yknow. the italicized oh. consider the following:

(A)

“Alex is in my bio class,” Rian says, referring to Jack’s ex-boyfriend of last year.

Jack frowns. “So? Why should I care?”

“He’s my lab partner,” Rian says. “I have to spend a lot of time with him.”

“I don’t care what you and Alex do,” Jack says. “But you should know he sucks at bio.”

Rian gives Jack a look. “First of all, that’s not true, he’s incredibly smart. And second, I’m telling you as a courtesy, because I thought you might not want your ex-boyfriend hanging around our house after he broke your fucking heart.”

(B)

“Alex is in my bio class,” Rian says.

Jack frowns. “So? Why should I care?”

“He’s my lab partner,” Rian says. “I have to spend a lot of time with him.”

“I don’t care what you and Alex do,” Jack says. “But you should know he sucks at bio.”

Rian gives Jack a look. “First of all, that’s not true, he’s incredibly smart. And second, I’m telling you as a courtesy, because I thought you might not want your ex-boyfriend hanging around our house after he broke your fucking heart.”

the only difference between these two excerpts (which i just wrote lol they’re not from anything real) is that the second one doesn’t explain who alex is right away. that makes it way more interesting when rian reveals who alex is a few lines later. magic.

(c) take this college au that we’ve established here. where does it take place, you ask? easy answer: it doesn’t matter. you don’t need to say what school they’re at. this will make your job easier, because then no one can fact check you, and it also means you don’t have to decide what school they’re at. but even if you do decide, it’s not usually necessary to say. believe me, you can go thousands of words without ever needing to specify what school they’re at. you know why? because it doesn’t matter. and no one cares. and as soon as you specify in canon that they’re at a particular school, you are bound to be accurate to everything that school does, and that makes your job way more difficult than it needs to be. as hazel once said, work smarter, not harder. 

6. adverbs are also your friend. (yknow, words that describe verbs, typically ending in -ly, like “loudly” or “angrily” or “smoothly”.) ESPECIALLY when it comes to dialogue tags. (dialogue tags are the things you add to dialogue to say who’s talking and how they’re talking - like “he said” or “he whispered” or “he earnestly explained” or whatever). a lot of the writing advice you’ll see nowadays will usually guide you away from overusing dialogue tags other than the classic “says/said” and i STRONGLY concur with that advice. things like yelled, cried, mumbled, snapped - these are very good in moderation, when you’re really trying to emphasize the way a person is speaking. the more you use them, the less impact they have. in most cases, a simple “he said [adverb]” will do. instead of “he snapped” consider “he said curtly/sharply/coldly.” instead of “he mumbled” consider “he said quietly/clumsily/softly.” I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THESE ARE NOT DIRECT SYNONYMS. every word has a nuanced and slightly different meaning and that is the BEAUTY of the english language!!!! all i’m saying is that in many cases, a verb can be replaced with an adverb to achieve roughly the same effect, without making the reader feel like they’re scanning a thesaurus.

and speaking of a thesaurus: it’s not cheating to use outside resources like thesaurus.com to help you come up with words. i fuckin love thesaurus.com. i use that shit all the time for everything. i use it when i’m writing emails. i used it just now to write that last paragraph. thesaurus.com is your BEST friend.

7. grammar. (and spelling but that’s really a given.) unfortunately if i tried to teach you all of the essential rules of grammar this post would exceed tumblr’s previously-nonexistent word count limit. so i’m not gonna teach you any of them. this is just a general point to suggest that if/when you’re writing, have someone you trust, with a good grasp of grammar, look over it. of course it doesn’t have to be perfect or AP style or anything like that. readers will overlook a certain amount of grammar mistakes and every reader has a different threshold. but in general, as a grammar geek and former journalism editor-in-chief, i have a duty to my grammurai code to preach the importance of grammar in writing. good grammar does not necessarily mean good writing and vice versa, bad grammar does not necessarily mean bad writing, but bad grammar makes good writing a lot harder to read, and in some cases will even obscure your actual meaning. so please, have someone read it. for the record this is me offering up my services. i am very good at fixing grammar. i have lots of weaknesses in writing but grammar is one of my strengths. please prioritize grammar. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

***

okay so now that i’ve said all of this shit and pretended to be an expert and embodied everyone’s tenth grade english teacher, let me add one very important disclaimer:

none of this is always relevant.* writing is an art, not a science. you are never going to be following all of the rules, all of the time. you shouldn’t. it’s good to know the basics of constructing a plot, establishing a character, showing and/not telling, moving the story along. but a lot of this advice is really subjective and heavily influenced by my writing experience and habits and tendencies and preferences, and those are simply not generalizable to the world. i am a sample size of one and science dictates that that means my results cannot be statistically significant. i am just some guy. earlier i said you don’t want to over-describe the world. but maybe you do! maybe you’re really into worldbuilding and you want people to know what they’re getting into. maybe you’re like sam, and you just don’t feel as confident in your dialogue skills but you love painting word pictures. i said that adverbs are your friend, but maybe you just prefer to use verbs. maybe you don’t want ANY dialogue tags and you want the reader to interpret the dialogue based on context and content. i said that characters aren’t people and they won’t behave like people, but maybe you’re trying to write hyper-realistic characters. maybe you’re just going for believability over narrative. WHATEVER. the point is, rules are made to be broken. no one is going to have The Answer for How To Write Good because there isn’t just one answer. every single writing rule has exceptions and you can be that exception as many times as you want.

*except grammar. grammar is fucking always relevant.

i hope any of this advice was helpful to you, even though i english teacher-ed the fuck out of it. and for what it’s worth, i approached this as if you were a relatively novice writer, but i know absolutely jack shit about your writing prowess and experience and habits. so maybe you already know all of this and none of what i’ve said is helpful at all. if you have a more specific problem, i would be happy to try and help. if you’re hoping for more specific feedback, i’d have to read something of yours first - but again, happy to try and help. i don’t know if you can tell but i loooove writing and english and grammar and all of this shit and it would be my honor. i have now spoken so long that james madison himself is begging me to shut up so i’ll stop here but thank you for coming by and giving me the opportunity to expatiate a shit ton. and GOOD LUCK i forgot the most important advice of writing which is HAVE FUN LOVE WHAT YOU WRITE AND WRITE WHAT YOU LOVE OKAY BYE

#yowza #mamma mia #hachi machi #someone get this bitch a muzzle #i feel like i keep saying i sound like an english teacher here but i never specify that im not actually an english teacher #god i wish my blog brand was just 'the person you come to with writing questions' #is it too late to establish myself as that #ask #writing advice #stuff #im giving it the stuff tag. i said enough that i feel like it's earned the stuff tag. #anonymous #if i keep looking at this im just going to keep adding things because adhd-coded brain wants ME to overdescribe. hypocrite #so im just gonna hit post n run #good luck

[darwin-xf]

Bedside Manner . 9

So this is new. But in the middle. To start from the start click here at A03

She was chilly. Cold actually, naked too, her flesh goosed, the air conditioner still chugging away, the bedspread cast aside. Gently, she disentangled from her sleeping partner, lifting his arm slung heavily over her ribs, and slipped out of bed. He resettled, but didn’t stir.

Thirsty.

Before ducking into the bathroom, she copped a gaze at snoozing Mulder in the bed. Her bed. Mid- morning sun filtering in through the windows, him bellied down on the mattress, smooth back and spindly calves protruding from the sheet that covered his glutes, his thighs. His strong stubbled jaw. Breathing deeply.

And yeah. Mulder’s recent confession aside, she wasn’t sure she should hold out any hope of ever being the pretty one in this relationship. Mulder.

Thirsty. She filled a glass with cold water from the tap and tipped it toward her lips, intent on draining it down. She caught herself, though, and spilled it down the sink. Between the hurricane and the resultant power situation, no telling what type of beasties might’ve worked their way into the water table, sea monsters aside.

Instead she grabbed a fresh washcloth off the shelf, stopped the sink and cranked the spigots full blast, holding her face over the water, breathing steam. She dipped her cupped hands and scrubbed her neck and her cheeks, her chin and nose, eyes and her forehead. She rose, and was surprised by her reflection in the glass. She smiled ruefully, though not without mirth, shaking her head.

After Mulder had turned up in her room on an otherwise ordinary night and dazzled her with his... rather extraordinary skill set? They could have walked things back. That would have been the time. Shattered as she was, there had been some privacy in the dark. A sense of remove. The fiction that he was just helping her with her cramps. Returning a favor, as it were.

After she came, she rolled away from him and hugged her knees. Remembered how to breathe. And whatever doubts and fears she’d batted away while in the clutches of her outsized need for him and the resultant hormonal surge returned all at once. Then she was rocking, swaying side to side, praying she’d come back to herself. Anxious to recover a sliver of dignity. She wished he would take the hint and go away.

She could feel him behind her, waffling...waiting... shifting on the bed. Go away, she thought. But she did not say.

A few heartbeats later, he fitted his bare chest to her back, stilling her body. When his arm came around and gathered her closer, her mind also came to rest. Then he nuzzled his face in her hair— Mulder—and she, spent and depleted, surrendered to sleep.

Still, she’s pretty sure that from there, they could have tucked that moment into some forgotten pocket and moved on. Plausibly.

Recovered their practiced dynamic, established and perfected over the course of dozens then hundreds then thousands of days and nights, filled with slideshows and jokes and car rides and quarrels and flights, interrogations and meals and phone calls and chases and meetings and fights. It was what they did. It was who they were. It was what she knew.

It was a fine thing they built over time, a beautiful jalopy of a partnership. Every week they kicked the tires, hopped in and away they went.

But it could be fragile. It was threatened, she knew on some elemental level, by whatever Mulder was working out with Diana Fowley. She planned to stay as long as she could.

But this. This. This could be even more destabilizing. Which is why she knew he’d never touch her. Even after she’d absorbed the fact that he absolutely wanted to.

Instead he’d lean into his porn and his pickup basketball, his burritos and geek talk with the Gunmen, his phone sex and his books and his movies and always, his true love, his files. Clearly he found time to pump some iron too, as much as he’d filled out in recent years. He sharpened and hardened his torso, bringing to the fore obscure muscles and tendons and veins she’d long forgotten the names of. She’d look him over coolly in the car or office, then look them up later in Gray’s Anatomy, then get herself off with the tome open next to her on her bed just like she did when she was fourteen. As if he needed another way to vex her.

To get him back she whetted and sculpted her own physique, got a better stylist who vamped and fussed over her hair until it curled just so, till she imagined that it whispered to him through the dark. After her cancer, after Jerse, with that chip in her neck and a new fierce determination, she learned to carry her losses, afraid but brave, with one true mission, and she became a new thing. So she took to wearing lower waisted pants and black bras and tighter shirts, maybe releasing an extra button to show him the hollows above her collarbones, her sternum and her throat. She gave as good as she got.

As iron sharpens iron, as it says in that oldest of books, so one person sharpens another. That was what they did. They were two flinty bodies and mismatched minds grinding and colliding, sparking and sliding, until they were each honed to the finest edge. Which they then turned against any who dared come at them.

It was all for their work. He needed it for his reasons. She needed it for her own. She loved it. Her work was the one thing she was finally getting right.

Which was funny, because by any rubric she herself might have once applied, her career was orbiting in irreversible retrograde. The types benchmarks, promotions, and accolades she might once have sought after and craved were all but lost to her. To dutifully, dumbly climb those rungs was all she had known to do, before. Before she’d met him, before she’d been drawn in to his nebulous, hazy, imbroglio world. But there, in a place she once hadn’t ever dreamed of or dared believe in, she was thriving.

Her family didn’t understand, that she knew. Within the Bureau, she'd been written off. And the funny thing was, she didn’t care. He didn’t care either, and that was the beauty of him, the quality she’d found so perplexing and attractive when they’d met. Even when it pained her, the way he led with his chin.

These days at work she’d catch wind of some drabble of gossip, or be faced with another agent, driven by petty jealousy, ignorance, or worse, who’d dismiss and demean them, and it blew right by her. Not because she’d adopted his mindset, but because she knew now what he knew then: They were scared. And they were wrong.

What she and Mulder did, what he had taught her to do, the most important tool in their remarkable combined skillset, was to not know.

Instead, to listen. To people, to situations, to evidence. Instead, to ask questions, then better questions, then even better questions, and of the right people, no matter how impertinent. With him, she was willing to forget what she knew, and open to what was really happening. And then open some more. And it was terrifying. But she did it anyway.

Every day she watched cops and scientists and doctors close themselves off. Cleave to their comfortable stories that allowed them to keep it all together. But Mulder had helped her understand something she would have once claimed to know: science is not about certainty. In fact, it’s the lack of certainty that grounds it, and the most valuable journey a scientist could undertake is to find a way of unlearning how to think about something.

Their stalemate gifted her weekends to herself, and she, monkish, holed up with her books and papers from all corners of science and strived to make senses of some of what she’d seen, to at least find the gaps between the known and what she knew, to knit the worlds together. It engrossed her completely. She’d found compatriots in the realm of theoretical physics, guys she’d dismissed out of hand when she’d been piloting toward med school, and was in regular communication with several think tanks. These people devoured her and Mulder’s work, and were startingly close to beginning to explain some of what she’d seen. In fact, if Mulder was as determined to undo them as she feared, that would be her next move. Though the prospect grieved her.

She loved him. Of course she did, and had for some time, just for his eyes, God. And his loneliness. And his compassion. And his courage. And his mind alone was like candy to her. And in a lot of important ways he loved her back, and properly. So she accepted this stasis, leaned into it. Learned to love it. He was her ticket to this ride, with his bottomless mind and nose for the unfathomable, and it thrilled her on every possible level.

But he didn’t touch her. And she didn’t touch him. That was how this worked.

When, in the dead of night, after he’d broken this very important rule, the power had returned, she’d pulled on some clothes and stole into the bathroom, splashed water on her face, brushed her teeth with jittery hands. She found her own eyes in the mirror, breathed into her belly and steadied.

“It’s fine,” she said to firmly to herself. She repeated it like a mantra as she prepared to emerge and dismiss him, send him back to his room. It’sfine it’sfine it’sfine it’sfine it’sfine it’sfine it’sfine.

When she felt good and girded, she slid into bed and settled herself. Smoothed the covers around her body and pivoted on her pillow to face him.

And then?

She doesn’t remember changing her mind. Just the feeling of her anxiety washing away. What was it she had been so worried about? It was Mulder one pillow over, feigning sleep. Just Mulder. Her dorky—albeit dashing—partner who used anagrams for pseudonyms, got seasick on ferries, and once asked her to autopsy an elephant. His ties were hopeless and half the time his socks didn’t match. Mulder.

She must admit, she’s not exactly crystal clear on how, a half hour later, she’d wound up stretched out on the bed next to him, shirtless. While he lay back on two pillows, his fingers laced behind his neck, eyes slivered to slits and raking over her body, his stiff cock in her hand, a revelation.

She loved how quiet he was in bed, his slow hands and his eyes on her, stalking her, strafing her, taking her in. She assumed he’d be as loquacious and frenetic in the sack as out of it. Not so. Mulder, surprising her again. If she had any inkling it would shut him up, she would have made a grab for his package years before.

As she worked his cock slowly with a twist of her wrist, she looked up his long brown body, his stomach undulating, his jaw clenched. And when her fist slipped over his head, he’d gasp. He reached down toward her. She thought he was going for her tits, as one would. Instead, being Mulder, he snagged her foot. Held it snug between his palms and brought it to his lips, kissed her instep, her arch. Nipped at the tips of her toes, hard enough to get her attention.

When she looked up, he captured her eyes with hers, locked her in like a tractor beam. A playful smile on his lips. She met his gaze and, held it, held it, held it... until it was too much. She blinked first, looked away.

He smiled bigger, hitched his hips and let his eyes drift shut. Closed his lips around her big toe and sucked. And some floor she’d not even realized she’d been standing on her whole life dropped out from under her.

Whoo-boy.

She was parched. She dried her face with a towel and crept back into the room. She opened the half fridge hoping for water, willing to pay the minibar markup, only to find it stocked with wine beer and soda. Chocolates and sports drinks. Blech.

Needing the real deal, the h2o, she pulled on a clean tee and some joggers, then paused. She didn’t want to rouse him, rooting around for her usual armor.

Because as the light rose in the room she could see he was well and truly out, not fake sleeping like before. Powered down, his breathing full and even, brainwaves oscillating slower and slower, La plus que lente, destination delta, lost to the world. Mulder. She was glad he was resting so deeply. He wasn’t easy to subdue. And they had, after all, kept each other up until the sky, so inky black, had turned perfectly blue.

Whoops.

As a kid she liked to imagine she’d captured a wild animal, a meerkat or panther or linx. In her pretend world she’d charm it and tame it and train it and feed it until it wanted to stay, then hide it in her room all day while she went to school. So when she got home they could play.

This was like that.

The motel was nearly deserted, and her plan was to score some cold clean water, slip back into the room, and catch a bit more sleep herself. Checking her wallet, the smallest bill she had was a ten. She folded it into her pocket, slid her keycard in beside it, and slipped out the door, making sure it shut softly behind her.

Outside, fresh air washed over her, sun bathed her face. Mulder had been spot on, the dank thick air had cleared out overnight. And the sky that had been clogged with low gray clouds for days was high and bright blue. She cased the parking lot out of habit; felt for her Glock at her back.

But she wouldn’t need it. Their rented taurus was now the lonely occupant of the sad parking lot, the lines cracked and faded, the asphalt once black baked and bleached to blue.

Everyone else had checked out and bugged out, she supposed, even the two who’d been up to no good in the next room the night before. All the better. She took a big gulp of air and steadied herself, set a course for the office to get some change.

The door was open, the little bell twinkling as she entered. But no one was manning the ship. She pressed the buzzer, stuffed her hands in her pockets, wandered over to the rack of pamphlets advertising local tourist traps. Mulder must have read every one when he came over here to scare her up some Advil, her hero for real, voracious as he is. God, Mulder. Maybe she would do something touristy with him. She eyed their options.

Wine tasting was the most adult activity. But all wrong for them. Mulder wasn’t a wine kinda guy, and she wasn’t all that curious about the fruits of the vineyards of central Florida.

She remembered Daniel raising up a glass of Burgandy or Shiraz and sniffing deeply, then offering it to her to do the same. He’d be holding forth over dinner on the finer points of wine. Or the history of photography. Or, most boringly of all, Jazz. She remembers feeling like she should learn to like these things, too. Making herself listen attentively, ask questions. And it shamed her, how she just wanted to catch a buzz and get him alone.

Mulder had never made her feel like that, not once, like she needed to try to be someone she wasn’t. They were peers, friends and foes, two kids struggling and scrapping in a sandbox, then coming together to build something intricate and fine.

Of all the touristy stuff, she found herself drawn to the go carts. Mulder’s gangly legs tucked into a little car, knees akimbo, his gaudy tie flying over his shoulder as he rounded a curve. Could be fun.

Then again, they should probably just head to the airport, let things normalize a little. Settle down. They’d passed up a half dozen chances to pump the brakes the night before, but it needed to be done. They had both agreed at some sober moment during the most interminable unlikely lovely complicated evening she’d ever spent with her partner, that they would need to reassess in the morning.

A man came into the office from the back door.

“Hello there. You must be room nine.”

“Yes,” she said. “Hello.”

“Sorry for the wait. My son’s home sick from school today. And my wife’s over in Sugarmill checking on her mom, after the storm. He’s only six so he needs some TLC. Double duty.”

“You didn’t leave him alone?”

“Oh no. My dad’s with him. They both love themselves some Spongebob.”

Scully smiled.

“How are you feeling, by the way, Miss? Your partner was concerned. Had me scare up some Advil.”

“Oh, that was you. Thank you for that. I’m fine, though.” “And your partner? He asked my wife about a doctor?” “He’s okay too. We’re both well. Thank you.” “Checking out?”

“No, actually,” Scully hadn’t even thought about calling the airport yet. They both needed badly to rest. “We’ll need the rooms one more night.”

“Very good. We’ll put you down for another night,” he said, taking a pencil to the tidy registry book in front of him. “Not like we’re busy. Storm scared away all the tourists. For a minute, at least. You two must be looking for those idiots who robbed the bank.”

Scully nodded.

“We appreciate what you do. If it wasn’t on the government, I’d comp your rooms. I don’t advertise it, but Elmer’s my cousin.”

“Really?” Scully said, shifting gears slightly. “Elmer Santiago Smith?” “Yep. Blacksheep to his bones. We’re good people, for the most part.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Scully said. She noticed the man for the first time really. Big guy with a tidy beard. Solid.

“I even gave him a job last year when he got out of prison. A-gain. Fixing things, sweeping up. That didn’t last long. He could work, Elmer, he’s always been great with cars. But work’s just never been his thing. He’s a lazy no account freeloader. But he’s harmless for the most part.”

This was true. He’d only been nabbed for bumbled burglaries, petty theft. Drug possession. “I don’t know the other guy.”

“Robert Bacon Blight,” Scully said. “He’s from Orlando. They met in prison. He’s much less harmless.” His rap sheet was more colorful: domestic violence, armed robbery, possession with intent, sexual assault.

“That’s Elmer,” he said, shaking his head. “Always falling in with the wrong crowd.” “Has anyone talked to you?” Scully said, perking up some more. “Mister?...”

“Smith. Bertram Smith. Bertie.”

“Do you have any idea where Elmer might be, Mr. Smith?”

“If I did I’da called y’all already. I doubt I’d be much help. Haven’t seen him since he quit.”

“All the same,” Scully said. “I’m going to get someone over here to interview you and your wife, in case anything comes to mind.”

“We’d be happy to help. Why not you though?”

“Oh, we’re off duty, Agent Mulder and I. We were down here on another case. Just helped out yesterday with the pursuit. We’re in a holding pattern until we can catch a flight back to DC.”

She felt a little self-conscious, now snapped back into professional mode but wearing a flimsy tank top, braless no less, and some joggers.

“Hey,” he said, peering closely at her. “You delivered that baby. I saw your picture on the news last night. They interviewed the mom. She seemed like a whack job, talking about a sea monster, of all things. Still,“ he said, shaking his head, “it was a sweet story.”

Scully nodded grimly. Oh no. The FBI was getting better at public relations. They wanted to take the focus off flubbing the bank robbery thing by pushing some human interest.

Now she had even more reasons to want to get out of Florida.

“They sure do keep y’all busy. Makes me feel a little better about that big Federal tax bite.”

“As I mentioned, we’re off duty. If you see Elmer and this other guy, Robert Bacon Blight, don’t confront them. Just call 911 and let us handle it.”

“Yes Ma’am. But I don’t expect to see him. On the news they said they were looking in Georgia. Makes sense. He’s got people there too. Anything else I can help you with?”

She flashed to Mulder asking her the same question the night before. Then shook it out of her head. “There is, actually,” Scully said. “I need change. For the vending machine.”

“Sure thing.”

He dished out ten ones and handed her back her ten spot.

She quirked her eyebrow at him.

“Drinks and snacks on the house for FBI agents who deliver babies and have to bother themselves looking for my dumbass cousin Elmer, besides,” he said, winking at her.

“Thank you, Mr. Smith. Bertie. I hope your son feels better.”

She was back out the door, and around the side of the motel, thinking only of water. She fed the limp dollars into the slot and bought three bottles, downed one of them on the spot. As she turned to head back to her room, a bottle in each hand, something caught her eye. A flash of chrome in the bright sun. It had come from a nearby abandoned barn.

She walked toward it, crossing the country road that ran behind the property and shielding her eyes, peering into the shaded structure.

She stepped inside. And there, behind a pile of stacked haybales, amidst the stifling air and dust, slatted with sunlight slashing through the crumbling roof, was a car.

An El Camino, to be exact. Red with a black racing stripe. The very same car that had spit gravel in her face the day before.

Bertie’s dumbass cousin Elmer had come home to roost.

They were here.

#msr #x files #today in fic #the x files #xf rewatch #x files fanfiction #msr fanfic #xfiles fanfic #dana scully #fox mulder #agua mala #season 6 #Scully #Mulder

[rukia-writes]

Eren K. X (fem) reader

Setting: modern au

Storyline: Kruger’s daughter introduces her sexy friend from college to her father and the summer gets hotter.

Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, no minors 🔞, sex in the laundry room,a bit of angst

“Oh, that isn’t my shirt. It’s belongs to (Name), our clothes must have gotten mixed up in the laundry. I have one similar in color.”

Kruger quickly thought of a quick lie as his mother then nodded her head and smiled while handing over the shirt. Telling her son that he should return it to her as soon as possible, (Name) thanked her lucky stars silently while still in the closet naked with only a bedsheet around her. She managed to grab her shorts but she forgot about her shirt, everything just happened so fast. It wasn’t long before Kruger had managed to get his parents out of his room, locking the door he sighed in relief.

“You can come out.”

“Sorry about that, I forgot my shirt.”

Kruger watched (Name) come out of his closet trying not to trip over the bed sheets, Reaching to grab her shirt Kruger quickly snatched it away surprising her.

“You don’t need this shirt right? You have plenty of shirts.”

“Yes, but what are you going to do with my shirt?”

“Keep it as a souvenir.”

That was all Kruger replied with as (Name) let him have her shirt.

“Well that’s fine, I have to wash clothes anyways.”

Awhile later opening the door to laundry room (Name) steadied carried her basket of dirty, which was getting heavy as she had to go nearly across the world to reach the laundry room. The laundry room matched the rest of the house, the room itself was huge in size as it had a marble counter in the middle of the room with multiple cabinets and even a little wash station with double appliances.

It was all first for the college student.

Closing the tall door behind her she walked in and turned the corner to see Kruger folding his clothes with his back turned her, with no shirt on oddly enough. Careful not to make a sound (Name) took the moment to examine all of Kruger’s back muscles and admiring several scratches that ran down his back that she caused. Nothing but lewd thoughts ran thru her mind as she scooted closer for a better look. Folding the last piece of clothing Kruger cleared his throat to say,

“How long are you going to look at me?”

(Name) had a look of surprise that Kruger knew it was her as she walked over to the washing machine.

“How did you know it was me?”

“I just know.”

Kruger turned around to see (Name) putting her clothes into the washing machine, it was early in the morning and of course she had another pair short styled pajamas. Kruger was already mentally taking in the sight of (Name) in her short sleeved shirt and shorts that were the design of her college. Of course, they were really short in length, Kruger really took in the sight.

“So, since you took my shirt..can I have one of yours?”

“A shirt of mine?”

“Yes, specifically one you wear to work.”

Smiling (Name) pointed the neatly folded clothes that Kruger just folded, earning a smirk from the man as he simply looked at his stack of clothes and handed over a simple white shirt making her nearly run over to him.

“You can have this one..”

There was a sparkle in (Name)’s eyes as she reached for the shirt only for Kruger to snatch it away making her pout. The gap between them was almost non existent as Kruger dangled his shirt and would quickly snatch it away from her everytime she tried to grab his shirt.

“Kruger, come on. Give me the shirt.”

“I’ll let you have this shirt, if you let me fuck you.”

(Name) blinked a few times thinking to herself did she hear what Kruger said correctly.

“What? Here? Now?”

“Yeah, why not?”

That was all (Name) needed as she rushed to lock the door and of course quickly put her clothes in the washing machine and turning it on. Doing so rather quickly, which Kruger could only smile at he watched her the whole time. Soon enough Kruger had her face down on the washing machine as he took her from behind while the washing machine was of course on and his cock deep inside her hitting her sweet again and again.

The moan and whimpers that came from (Name) were simply shameless as she felt her orgasm arriving faster with each thrust from Kruger. While Kruger on the other hand muttered countless “Fuck” and “so damn tight.” Fucking in the laundry room was a spur of the moment but Kruger made a mental note to do it more as he felt how wet and tight (Name) was on his cock was making him lose restraint. Usually (Name) would get in a few dirty lines but this wasn’t the case as she was too busy getting ready to have yet another toe curling orgasm, Kruger was close as well. Quickly moaning a “Fuck, (Name).” Kruger gave a (Name) a few spanks to her ass making clit twitch making her whimper the man who practically balls deep inside her.

“Spank me-spank me again.”

Kruger obliged as his hand spanked her over and over again until her whimpers were cries, her mind was a complete haze as she took all of his cock and his thrusts until she reached her orgasm with a loud moan that made her toes curl and clench her hands.

The sight made alone made Kruger reach his own climax, as he filled up (Name)’s cunt to the brim with his cum giving a few more sloppy thrusts. The washing machine beeped as the sound in the room was Kruger and (Name) catching their breath.

A few minutes later Kruger smirked in pride as he listened to (Name) catch her breath while putting on her clothes, knowing full well he was the cause as he unlocked the door to see his daughter who was just about to open the door herself.

“Good morning, how are you feeling today?”

“Good morning dad, no headache today. Doing your laundry too?”

“Yeah, I just finished.”

The two talked for a bit before the two seperated, Kruger’s daughter had started walking into the laundry room to see her best friend a bit out breath while straightening out her shirt. Smiling nervously (Name) did her best to play everything off as she talked with her best friend, still she was a bit out of breath and still feeling the endorphins running through her veins giving her a pleasure feeling.

“You okay? You seem a bit of breath.”

“Hm? Oh, I’m fine. How’s your hangover?”

“Much better, sorry I was out there. I really over did it at the bar.”

The two continued to talk while doing their laundry, Kruger’s daughter didn’t notice (Name) putting Kruger’s shirt in her laundry basket. (Name) took one last look at it before continuing on her conversation with her best friend while trying to ignore the fact that she just had another toe curling sex experience, in a laundry room of all places.

That afternoon, two people were missing from the beach home and were out and about in city. Currently watching baseball at a stadium that was packed with people, new reporters and television cameras. Both were actually relieved to be out the house and to have some quality time together. (Name) having to explain what a Snapchat and Instagram was to Kruger as he had no idea what the social media platforms did but he wanted to be in the loop with his daughter and now his young summer love. (Name) did sneak a few pictures of Kruger with her phone without Kruger noticing, they would be for her only. While Kruger explained the rules of the baseball of the game and even how sponsors work when they make an offer to baseball player.

Kruger did spot a few paparazzi in the crowd but he would take care of that later, he just wanted to enjoy his date for right now. So, in his first time in a long time he held (Name)’s hand surprising her at first but then making her look at him with a smile. A smile that made his pulse race.

The two had an amazing date, from watching the baseball game to simply walking in town hand and hand. The two even managed to win a few carnival games before relaxing on the beach, as luck would have it the sun was setting when they arrived giving the beach that orange glow. It was a day (Name) would never forget.

A perfect day.

Later that night, after arriving home the two went their separate ways. (Name) went to her room and Kruger went to his, while taking a shower Kruger was in a relatively good mood. After all, he had a fun and exciting day. Starting his day off with having fun in the laundry room and then having an amazing date. Soon, he thought about the beginning of summer up until today.

That’s when he looked at his marriage finger.

The wedding band that was once there was now gone, however now all of a sudden it felt as though it was there and with it a new feeling Kruger hadn’t experienced in awhile and that was doubt. Once Kruger was out the shower he wrapped around him and rubbed his left shoulder. Many thoughts came to him and they were anything but perfect.

What would his wife think?

If he made things official with (Name) what would his daughter think of him? Would she accept (Name) as his girlfriend?

For that matter what would the world think once the paparazzi found out?

What would his mother and father think?

All these thoughts and more came to him, his door opened and he nearly had a heart attack as he had only a towel around him. (Name) sighed in relief as she began to apologize for being late while taking her clothes off, making Kruger smirk a bit as she in nothing but his Kruger’s shirt that he gave her earlier.

It was the hottest thing he had ever seen.

All his worries went out the window.

“You’re not in your pajamas yet? I figured you would be. Then again, you night owl.”

Kruger watched as (Name) crash on his tidy bed sneaking peaks underneath the white shirt she was wearing and of course getting a sneak peak at her breasts his Achilles heel. Clearing his throat he managed to get (Name)’s attention.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep? I thought you had tiring day.”

“No, I’m fine. Why don’t you come over here and I’ll pat your abs- I mean ass-I mean dick..I mean head! Pat your head.”

Kruger watched his summer flame turn bashful at what just happened, thinking it was rather funny. Patting the spot next to her with a smile Kruger did as she wanted and laid his head down on her lap as she played with his hair. The two talked about everything from college to their date to Kruger’s job. It was a calming atmosphere a romantic one as well. For the first night the two didn’t have any sexual intercourse instead the two cuddled until they fell asleep.

Weeks passed and finally the day before (Name) was to leave back for college had arrived. To Kruger it felt like the end of a great movie, yet he wanted to go back and relive it again and again. That night would be the last night the two would get to share and as always it was late at night when (Name) was able to sneak into Kruger’s room.

This time however was a bit different as Kruger had a few gifts for her from a diamond necklace to her favorite colored roses in a designer hat box. In all honesty, it had been quite some time that Kruger had to be romantic. However, he didn’t seem to be bad at it as (Name) smothered him in kisses. In truth, while sharing a romantic moment (Name) had something she wanted to ask but was a bit too nervous to ask. After all, this would be the last time she would see him. While on the bed she scooted closer to him and decided to give him her sweet eyes which made Kruger put his guard up knowing she was going to ask something a bit bold.

“Hey, I know this might be a bad time but I had to ask...where is the ring or rather are you going to wear your ring?”

The air was a bit tense until (Name) heard him sigh which was usually not a good sign. However, holding (Name)’s hand he gently kissed the back of it making her pulse race a bit.

“The ring is in a safe and no. I don’t intend on wearing it, even after you leave tomorrow.”

Looking over at (Name) he saw her smile at him in one of the sweetest smiles he had seen on her to date. Clearing his throat he scooted closer to her now and asked a question that had been on his mind.

“Just as you promise not see anyone while away.”

“Of course, you have my word.”

“Also, try to keep my daughter in line. I know she likes to wander off.”

(Name) had to smile at Kruger’s comment knowing full well that she wasn’t the only one. Cuddling up to him and placing her head on his chest only muttered a “I don’t want to leave tomorrow.” Kruger heard but he knew it was best if she left and the next day when he had to say good bye to both his daughter and her he wished them both nothing but the best of luck. No matter how much he wanted (Name) to stay with him.

A few months later the summer weather was cooling off, and fall was starting to arrive. It was late at night on campus in (Name)’s dorm as she had on Kruger’s white shirt and was playing with her diamond necklace that Kruger gave her which she received many compliments on. Now if the man could simply text back, it was true she had a test to study for but her mind was definitely on him.

The same could have been said for Kruger as he just finished some paperwork while at home did he realize he fail to text back (Name). Reading her text message he read something he wasn’t expecting.

Winter break?

Ah, that was true.

Colleges did let out for a short period of time for the winter.

Leaning back in his chair he smirked a bit at what all they could do for the winter. From taking her into one of his cabins to simply staying home and watch it snow. Whatever she wanted to do, Kruger just simply missed her not being there. While their love may have been a secret for now it’s possible that one day this wouldn’t be the case. Although currently, for the moment Kruger had something to look forward to.

A winter break with her.

The possibilities like summer would be endless.

Summer series: End

✨Rukia-Writes✨

#Eren k. x reader #Eren Kruger x reader

[barleyshine]

happiness is a butterfly // d. malfoy

Reader x Draco Malfoy

i chose violence today and i don’t regret it lol i tried my best to make it as gender neutral as possible and i tried to shy away from scenes that are too mature. read at your own risk :) also im so sorry the quality is bad ngl

summary: you were a mistake. he was a mistake. what you both have - that’s a mistake. what’s the worst that can happen anymore?

word count: 1,2k pls i didnt mean for this to be so long

warnings: a lot of angst lol, a little sexual tension

You didn’t know how this happened.

Your bare back was against the wall, his hands on your hips holding you up. His lips were slotted perfectly against yours, pushing against each other. You sigh into his lips as he started peppering kisses down your neck.

"This is a one time thing, right," You breathed out. You can hear him hum affirmatively, before continuing his attack on your body. You push him away, slowly. "I'm serious."

Draco groaned.

"Yes, it is. Now where was I?" His voice was dark and husky. It had a soft timbre that you absolutely loved, ringing into the small space.

You thought you had heard the last of that voice when you ran into him in the corridors.

Blaise was talking to you about the Herbology assignment when you caught sight of a very familliar tuft of blonde hair and a pair of grey eyes. The pair of grey eyes that watched you with hooded eyes, accompanied by the husky voice he used to praise you.

You immediately turned back, but not before you made eye contact with him. Blaise, noticing your departure, quickly kept pace with you as you walk faster and faster, into your common room, before arriving at the door of your room and shutting it.

The only thing on your mind is him and his soft blond locks you pulled on countless of times already, and his smooth back you left dents in with your nails.

The next time you see him was at a Gryffindor party.

Some sketchy students managed to sneak in some magic mushrooms and three bottles of firewhiskey, all of that to celebrate... someone's birthday, was it? You forgot. You came right after finishing your Arithmancy homework, you were stressed, high strung, and ready to make mistakes you would regret in the morning.

And by Merlin's name, you made so many mistakes.

The moment you snuck into the common room, you locked eyes with him. You internally cursed yourself. You brought it upon yourself. You decided on the spot that you were gonna steal a half empty bottle of firewhisky and get back to your room and drown in illegal alcohol.

You start moving towards the center, eyes on the bottle a drunk seventh year was holding, before you saw the moment-

-and the bottle was swiftly swiped by a particular man with blonde hair and grey eyes.

You curse him out in your internal monologue.

He sends you a small smirk, before beckoning you over to outside the common room. Naturally attracted to the booze, you wait for the perfect moment to slip out as well, unnoticed.

"You're avoiding me." Draco shook the bottle of alcohol gently, before his eyes landed on you.

"Well, that's what you'd usually do with one night stands-"

"I didn't see you avoiding that ugly Ravenclaw you hooked up with two weeks ago." He cut your words, inching closer to you. He grabbed your arm, before dragging you into a broom closet.

"Funny story, actually, they started dating the Hufflepuff that was flirting with them." You tried to reason, shaking your hand that was grabbed by Draco. He released it.

He lifted your chin.

"Then would you say no if I told you I wanted you again?"

First bad decision of the night: hearing him out.

Second bad decision of the night: telling him no, you won't say no.

Third bad decision of the night- do you really need to ask?

You gasp, chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. Beside you, Draco wasn't better than you. You both stayed beside each other, limbs tangling around each other.

"How do we do this?"

There were three rules to help keep the relationship steady. No 'contact' with other people, keep it on the down low, and if someone finds a person they want to be with, the relationship is called off. Naturally.

It was normal for the first three months. Until, of course, Malfoy brought it up again.

"You're avoiding me again," He stated, voice raspy and his hands in your hair.

You paused momentarily, before continuing, trailing kisses down his neck. You hum quietly.

You felt nauseous.

"Why... why are you avoiding me?" He shied away from your touch. "We're not doing this until you answer me."

You rolled your eyes, trying to keep the panic from worming its way into your eyes. "I came here to feel good tonight, Draco. If you're going to interrogate me, I might as well go."

He sighed, ruffling his hair. "I can't do this if I don't think you want this as much as I do."

You start to button up your shirt. You felt irritated and frustrated. "You say that as if you don't see me already standing here half naked and waiting for you to strip. I'm leaving."

Curse it.

Curse Draco Malfoy.

Curse your stupid heart.

You see him less often each and every day. It was almost like he was avoiding you as much as you were avoiding him. Maybe he caught on and backed off. You don't know. Maybe he realized that you fancied him and backed off without saying anything. Maybe he-

found someone new.

He was talking to Astoria Greengrass.

You watched from the window of the library, as he scratched the back of his head while saying something. He swayed casually around her, making her laugh. She sent him a pearly smile, making him smile in turn.

You felt like you were about to vomit flowers.

"What do you mean you want to call it off?" He had his arms crossed, fingers tapping wildly. You looked away, leaning against the wall. "Am I not good enough for you?"

"You asked me why I was avoiding you. I didn't think you'd understand then, but you probably would now. I... I'm in love with-"

You. I'm in love with you.

"-Blaise."

"Oh." His upset demeanor faded instantly, a shocked expression settling on his face. "...Congratulations?"

"I haven't told him. Maybe I would. I don't know." You looked into his eyes again, trying to find emotion.

Empty.

"...Good luck then. I'll see you around?" He grabbed your hands, rubbing his thumb against your knuckles. You hum, before letting it go.

You walked away.

You chose to walk away.

But it felt like your heart shattered all over again when you saw him holding Astoria's hands at the Great Hall.

It felt like your heart slowly stopped beating when you saw him kissing her under the stars.

It felt like your heart was pierced by a knife when you made eye contact with him while he was dancing with her.

You chose to walk away.

You didn't tell Blaise about the whole ordeal, but you did tell him that you told Draco you liked him. He understood that it was a lie, but denied you anyway. That was supposed to hurt. But it didn't.

What's the worst that could happen, to a person who was already hurt?

You’re officially convinced that firewhisky is the stupidest answer to that question. The next thing you know, your lips were on his and he was kissing back. Oh Merlin, he was kissing back.

You didn’t know how this happened. 

You were once again, on top of him, and you could only see sadness. A little bit of regret.

Anger.

Hurt.

He pushed you off and left you alone, and there you cried.

#draco x y/n #draco malfoy #harry potter imagine #draco x reader #draco x you

[jungwon-crush]

(2) home - enhypen

(listening to the song while reading the chapter is recommended~)

in a long straight path, there lined eight houses, every two faced each other. this was what i considered my  neighborhood.

the houses looked completely worn out. there were still leftover hopscotch marks in the grubby street that separated the houses, and several cracks lined the outer front walls of the homes.

i hastily ran out of one of those houses, and onto the narrow roadway. i was in a bit of a hurry -  i decided to wash myself before going to sunghoon's place because the field made me feel sticky, which means i took an extra amount of time to get ready.

as i left my terrace, i heard gates clambering to my right side.

"oh, you're late too." niki pointed out as i approached him.

"didn't know you were going to eat at sunghoon's as well."

"sunoo ran out of food," niki crankily replied, "and everyone else is having dinner there anyway, so why not? it's free carbonara, might as well take the chance because sunghoon never shares anything unless his mom forces him to."

i gasped, "the others are there too-"

"hell yeah! goo goo ga ga hoon waaaah go cry about it! we're all going to drain your food supply tonight!" niki said as he childishly hopped up and down.

"niki, please don't be too happy. there will be three people slaughtering us tonight." i shivered at the thought while we both started to walk towards sunghoon's house at the end of the pavement.

jake, heeseung, and jungwon hate waiting for people in order to eat. they're literally a foodie trio, they get grumpy when they can't have their meals right away. they also tend to blame their hysteria on the people they're waiting for. the word blame is an understatement, heeseung takes food a bit too seriously for a twenty year old.

usually, they just go ahead if they get impatient.

however, sunghoon's flight-attendant mom is supposedly back home tonight. our parents have created this sort of rule that we have to eat all-together. this rule stems from when seven year old me threw a tantrum when i found out that the boys ate fried chicken without me, so we've been kind of following it for most of our lives because the elders get upset if one of us has a temper.

niki added, "actually, four people will have ideas that involve murdering us tonight. well honestly- only three for me. four for you."

i stopped in my tracks, "what the hell are you on about?"

"jay doesn't like when others take his stuff and wear it without his permission.."

clothes. niki was referring to my clothing. i looked down just to realize that i was wearing an oversized t-shirt that had 'park 02' printed on it. it was jay's custom tee from high school.

was i in such a rush that i didn't even register that i put on jay's shirt that i had secretly stolen?

"niki- you dumbass! why would you tell me this now? we just reached sunghoon's!" i yelled at the lanky being while i harshly slapped his abdomen.

"oh so i'm the dumbass? that's what you get for being an idiot, i can't believe you're a senior!" he yelled back at me.

i rolled my eyes and hit him one more time in the gut before taking position behind him as we slipped into the entrance of sunghoon's humble abode.

"using me as a shield won't do you any help." niki sneered while he opened the front door.

i wretchedly threw my head back and followed niki's back into the wood-paneled parlor. a chatter of voices could already be heard.

we moved past a set of stairs, and eventually winded up where the dining room was.

six people, who were previously facing each other and conversing, turned towards the direction niki and were coming from. they were seated at an old-fashion table with eight cushioned chairs. four individuals were settled on the side of the table that could see the room's entrance, while two people had their back facing niki and i as we arrived.

i scanned the room and surprisingly, nobody wore an irked look.

"byeol! looking good!" a puppy-like boy grinned. at that, i made my way towards him and teasingly pulled at his dark hair. jungwon, who sat beside him, elbowed his arm and mumbled something that sounded similar to "jake, focus on your food".

sunoo gleefully waved his hands then patted the seats beside him, gesturing for niki and i to sit there. the two of us shuffled and took our seats.

i found myself directly next to sunoo, with niki at the left end of the table facing heeseung.

i wrapped my arms around sunoo, he returned my actions and drew nearer to me which made our cheeks squish against each other. i creaked, "sunoo, my only source of sunshine! how are you? it's been a while."

"it has been way too long! i have been suffering lately- because of this moron called sunghoon! for the past hour he has been talking about how he received five confessions today even though it's only the second week of him attending college. my ears are so close to falling off!" sunoo wailed dramatically.

i hugged him tighter and jokingly sniffled, "i'm so sorry, sunoo... i can't imagine what you've been going through."

while i was comforting the poor boy, a hoarse voice sarcastically rang out, "i apologize for sharing my experience of being a really attractive, warm-hearted, and extremely smart person."

i let go of the hug and looked at the being past sunoo, "you don't need to ask for forgiveness. i think we all know that you don't have any three of those qualities, so what's the point in saying sorry?"

sunghoon just scowled as a response.

heeseung snickered at our exchange before his expression became serious, "start eating, byeol. the vegetables are gonna get cold."

i titled my head in confusion. wait what? i internally thought, did he just say vegetables?

i peered at the middle of the table, where an empty bowl with remaining white sauce stood alongside a plate filled with greens.

"you guys ate without-"

"yeah, byeol. you and niki were an hour late.. what did you expect-"

i cut jungwon off, "you were the one who told me there was gonna be carbonara! and now there's none? you could have made sure that heeseung and jake wouldn't hog it all for themselves!"

jungwon bit his lower lip guiltily, "i tried... but you know how they are."

niki shook his head as he grabbed the salad, "disappointed, but not surprised."

he put some vegetables onto my plate, then took the leftovers for himself. i began to bitterly munch it while making weird faces.

"i swear they're no older than six." jay whined. "also, byeol, is that not my shirt you're wearing?" he continued.

"now now jay, it is not the time to get mad at byeol. she 's already irritated, so she'll bite back even more." heeseung advised as if he was talking about an animal.

jay annoyingly pointed at me, "you're not getting away with this type of stuff next time."

i glanced at heeseung and gave him a quick thankful look. he gave a small smile back.

"considering you guys went ahead, is your mom not here, hoon?" niki probed.

"she's out running errands, won't be back until 10." sunghoon answered.

from there, the usual night-time conversation started. we discussed about the coffee shop heeseung was running, lutton high rumours, and how jake was unexpectedly doing well with girls in college too?

"did you know that i got invited to 3 dinner dates today? hoon's not the only one attracting ladies in the university of lutton." jake smirked.

"you should have went to one then." sunoo and i retorted at the same time. we playfully nudged each other.

"well, i was going to! until i heard that byeol was joining us for dinner tonight, she hasn't eaten with us for the past week!" jake countered.

jungwon's eyes flickered to mine while i told half of the truth, "sorry, i've been tired from school recently."

niki's eyes went wide, "oh right! you're still in the photography club? i heard hwang intak's the president this year!"

"who's hwang intak?" sunghoon strangely asked. he was rarely curious about others apart from us.

jungwon and jake's ears perked up at the question as well.

"lutton high's new it boy, also known as your replacement. except he's like ten times more friendly than you." sunoo taunted.

"yeah, right." sunghoon scoffed.

jay began to clap his hands and wheeze, "i thought the girls there would be heartbroken when sunghoon graduated. they move on quickly!"

"he's actually really nice though," i insisted, "during our club meetings, he always allows me to do homework before taking pictures. he even offers to help sometimes even though he's in a different section. i wonder why."

jungwon interrupted, "he's probably one of those overly kind people."

i shrugged, " i guess? i'm the only senior in the club apart from him, so he probably understands how i feel overwhelmed with assignments and stuff-"

"or," niki interjected, "he's into byeol!"

jungwon flashed a glare at niki.

niki responded with a face that said, "what?"

heeseung pondered out loud, "that may be true, i did something similar with the girl i liked when i was part of the student council."

sunoo's mouth was agape, "ahhhhhh! that explains why he comes into our class and studies with byeol sometimes during our free periods! it all makes sense!"

"who in their right mind would actually be interested in the lunatic?" sunghoon remarked.

"you've got to admit that she occasionally looks cute."

sunghoon's ears tinged red, "jake..." he paused, "n-no i don't think that she's-"

"i'm just saying!" jake hollered as he pushed back his hair.

"can everyone shut up for a second? you guys are being overdramatic. school just started last week- how can he like me in a span of  fourteen days?" i exhaustedly let out, ignoring jake's comment.

"you never know how someone truly feels byeol, you never know.." niki uttered.

i slapped his knee aggressively, "what do you know about love, niki?"

"trust me, i know more than you." he replied, his eyes fixed on something   behind me.

i let out a final huff of annoyance. i always question how i managed to survive eighteen years with these brats.

"shoot, it's already 9:30! i'm gonna go to bed, i have early morning classes tomorrow. and so do you jake." jay got out of his seat and waved his hand at us as he left the room.

"tsch, i guess i'll get going too." jake said as he started bidding goodbyes. when he got to me, he pinched my cheeks hardly and ran out of the room with a cheeky smile before i could chase after him.

i rubbed the area where he pinched, whispering exaggerated cries of how much it hurt.

"i think it's time we all go, it's getting late. you guys still have school tomorrow, and i have to open up the café." heeseung stood up and clapped everyones shoulders.

"don't stay for too long!" he finally said as he exited.

niki ridiculed, "yes, father heeseung!"

"hey, is anyone going to watch the game tomorrow?" sunoo inquired. there was only five of us remaining. "i don't want to go alone."

"i have to go, the photography club needs to take pictures of the game." i nodded

sunoo put his two hands into a prayer position, "oh, thank the lord!"

"i'm coming too, a few of my classmates are players." niki said as he was beginning to leave, "jungwon and sunghoon, you guys should come along too, since you two are so curious about photography club president intak."

after saying that, the younger boy immediately took his leave. he didn't wait for any comments, he just yelled, "see you, tomorrow!" before he slammed the doorway.

sunghoon pointed out, "i think he left straight away because jungwon had a knife ready in his hand."

"no doubt about it, hoon." i said as i looked at an annoyed jungwon who was gripping his utensil in a very uncivil way.

"i'll come, unlike those biophysics majors, i don't have any classes tomorrow."

sunoo hooted, "good! that's good, hoon! how about you, wonnie?"

jungwon sighed, "fine. now we're done here. i'll walk you home, byeol."

sunghoon chimed, "walk her home? she lives down the street..."

jungwon pretended that he didn't hear sunghoon and moved over to me. he tried pulling me out of my place while i held onto sunoo's arm, "i'll go home only if sunoo's sleeping over! my dad's at the city again!"

"i'll stay at your house tonight, byeol! don't worry."

i let jungwon pull me up, while sunoo followed suit.

"your dad's not here again?"

"i just said that, hoon." i put my arms around sunoo and jungwon and started leading us out of the house.

"just know you can come over anytime- like always!" he called out in an uneasy tone from the dining area.

"noted!" i yelled back before sunoo closed the door behind us.

"my legs are tired, can someone carry me?" i immaturely begged.

"really? they're worn out from sitting down for two hours?" jungwon declared.

"let the girl be! you can piggyback on wonnie, byeol." sunoo beamed while ushering me to get on jungwon's back.

regardless of his displeasure, jungwon crouched down.

i jumped onto the rear part of his figure and wrapped my arms around his neck. he jumped a little as he made his posture straight again, "i actually need to stop babying you."

"i'm pretty sure you said that yesterday too." sunoo chuckled as we plodded back to my house.

taglist: @wonwobbles

a/n: this chapter is pretty long compared to the first one, so im a little proud of it! i wanted to show how byeol banters with the others and how their characters react to certain stuff to show their personality!!! heheheheh

#enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen ff #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fanfic #enhypen writers #enhypen writings #enhypen x oc #enhypen x female oc #jungwon x oc #sunghoon x oc #jake x oc #jake shim x oc #sunki #kpop #kpop writing #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfic #kpop ff #kpop fanfiction

[croatian-nt]

Livi podcast

The guests of the podcasts are Dominik Livaković and Marjan Mrmić(who is goalie coach)

Translation under the cut

Host: Tell me a bit about your season in Dinamo. It was one of, if not the best season ever in Dinamo. What would you say, what happened? How did you guys become so good?

Livi: I guess there are more quality players now. And we worked well together and..yeah. I guess something just clicked

Marjan: He is being humble. Dominik had an excellent season and he knew how to stay calm in stressful situations and that calmed the rest of the team

Livi: *looks at the floor*

Host: was losing against Ferencvaros the turning point? What made you all be that much better after?

Livi: well I suppose it was important. I mean, I think I could almost say it was a good thing we lost so early on, considering the rest of the season

Host: I am not sure director of finances in dinamo agrees

Livi, laughing: well no, probably not but I think we brought it enough money later on

Host: you defended a penalty against Cluj. Well two actually. Was that harder to do or was watching Suba defending penalties during WC?

Livi: oh wow *laughs * that's-I mean you can't compare those two things. Completely different feelings. But I suppose there wasn't that much pressure put on me during those penalities because I didn't know they would be the last. But Suba is probably one of the best goalies Croatia ever had, if not the best. So I really don't think that's comparable

 Host: Alright, first card break. You need to choose between two things

Marjan: Nutmerg or dribble?

Livi: what?

Host: *repeats it *

Livi: *loading * oh! Nutmeg. *laughs * especially when it's Vida

Host: did that happen?

Domo: *yelling from the background * (I think he said "he didn't say that!" But it's not clear) *

Livi: *laughs * Anyway, next question

 Marjan: Meat or fish?

Livi: Hmm. Meat

 Marjan: Pizza or hamburger?

Livi: Pizza. Especially after a winning game

 Host: how did you start with your goalie career? Since most guys want to score a goal

Livi: well, I can't quite remember. I was attacker one day and goalie the next. I like the way goalies threw themselves to catch a ball I guess

 Host: are all goalies this calm? Or are you and Marjan exceptions?

Livi: I mean, there are some goalies that are crazy *laughs, shakes his head * but I am more of a calm type. Works better for me. Although there is that saying 'you are a goalie? You must be crazy' so you know

 Host: Second card break. It's who in the national team...?

Marjan: who takes the longest to get read in the nt?

Livi: oh, Vida

Marjan: Who runs the fastest?

Livi: Vida

Host: Vida, again?

Livi: *shrugs, laughing *

Livi: who has the most precise shoot?

Marjan: right now? Oršić

Host: Livi, would you agree as his teammate?

Livi: well yes, of course he is very good. But Vida is also very good, especially recently, he scored a lot

Marjan: who has the best hairstyle?

Livi: * laughs, covers his mouth*

Host: yeah, you can use Vida again here

Livi: yeah, yeah... Vida has the best hair

Livi: who has the best sense of humor?

Marjan: Vida

*all laugh, Domo yelling again from the background *

 Host: so your first, well second game, against England, what do you remember from it? Were you nervous?

Livi: yes, of course. When I read the list of names of their players...I certainly felt nervous. It has been...what? 5 years since then?

Host: 3, 4 years actually. Autumn in 2018?

Livi: Really?

 Host: who are players who you find most fun? The ones whose company you liked the most during WC?

*Livi, looking at Vida and laughing *

Host: EXCEPT for Vida

Livi: Then, there were also Šime, Dejan and Broz

 Host: except for not missing being on a bench, do you miss Suba in nt?

Livi, smiling: yes, I miss him. I miss him a lot. We have been on a coffee the other day, actually

Host: what would you say, how did you improve as a goalie? But please don't give me a generic answer like, experience

Livi: experience *laughs * I am kidding, I am kidding. But I have been working on playing with my foot a lot. That's what I concentrate on the most and I think I improved. Other goalie stuff well...you learn in every training

 Host: okay, new set of cards, but with one new rule. Who would you choose from nt but WITHOUT Domagoj Vida

Marjan: who would you choose as a singer in a band

Livi, laughing: who else am I supposed to choose? Who else?

Host: alright, alright. I'll give you that one

Marjan: who would you let babysit your kid for a few hours?

*Livi, laughing*

Host: no. No you can't

Livi: hmmm. Then I suppose either Kale or Vrsaljko. They have a lot of experience

Livi: who would you let choose your outfit

Marjan: hmmm. Dominik

Marjan: who would you choose as a co-driver on rallying?

Livi: oh, Šime for sure. When he presses accelator...he doesn't stop

  Host: so tell me, do you plan to stay in Dinamo forever? Or did you have some plans for future clubs?

Livi: I don't think much ahead. Everytime I do, it doesn't exactly end up that way. We'll see. I feel good in Dinamo right now. We have amazing results and I feel like home. Zadar is close, too

Host: Well then. Don't forget about out deal. If you sign up for Barcelona you have to go to every nt conference for the rest of your career

Livi: *laughs awkardly *

Host: I hope it still counts. I mean Ter Stengen isn't bad but I am holding onto your word about that

Livi: alright

 Host: Let's ask something more private. We know you are in a relationship and by recent covid regulations we are allowed to have bigger weddings again so...I am kidding, but in all seriousness did you think about starting a family?

Livi: well yes, of course I have. I mean, all the people I know that have children think of them as biggest blessing. I do want that, at some point

 Host: pets?

Livi, smiling again: yes, Cruz

Host: what breed is he?

Livi: pomsky. Do I really need to explain?

Host: ...a bit

Livi: * explains *He is wonderful. I mean he is mine, but...he is really wonderful. He makes you so happy, especially when you come home after being away...it's amazing

 Host: Helena used to do ice skating and according to Vida, you are the best dancer on the team. That means your first dance will be amazing

Livi: *laughs * I am not so sure about that. I think I'll need to practice a lot, even more than I did to learn how to defend a goal. But we'll see how that'll go. And I have to say that Vida lied. But maybe he is the best. He dances...really good

Host: he has a good sense for rhythm?

Livi: he rips shirts a lot

 Host: New card break. Favorites

Marjan, reading a question from the card: what's your favorite childhood moment?

Host: the one that isn't connected to football

Livi: not connected to fooball. Uff. I am not sure I remember. Hmmm

Host: that far away huh?

Livi: *laughs * yeah. I guess coming back from school and everything being alright(I am guessing he means grades wise)

Host: that moments were so rare huh?

 Marjan: Favorite series?

Livi: Game of Thrones

 Host: what's your hobbies, except for series? What so you do when you don't play football

Livi: well, I actually like to play basketball. I am from Zadar, after all. I started with basketball first actually, before switching to football

 Host: okay, I gotta ask. Why do goalies spit in their gloves?

Livi: well so the ball sticks to them better. So it doesn't fall out of our hands *rubs palms together * so they are...wet. *realizes what he said * but yeah uh. Mostly so you don't drop the ball

 Host: do you prefer long or short sleeved jersey? And how do you choose that?

Livi: I like long sleeved one better

Host: except when it's really hot?

Livi: yeah...when it's really hot I choose short sleeved undershit

 Host: Anyway, you guys told me not to make this too long considering there is a final of Europe league that you want to watch. Any preferences about who wins?

Livi: No, I think both teams are great. They have different qualities so, we'll see

Marjan: I think Manchester United will win. Longer tradition

Host: Either way, thank you guys for participating in today's podcast. And to everyoone who is watching, I hope you'll watch us tomorrow as well. Goodbye

#dominik livakovic #marjan mrmic #vatreni podcast #croatia nt

[blueluneacy]

Confessions

AAAAAAAAND WE DID IT BOYS! Yes, I am posting this late. no, I do not care. it’s the TA!Jotaro/reader first place fic!

Word Count: 4k

Also on AO3!

Warnings: not sfw, slight manhandling, bratty ass reader, slight dubcon if you squint, cumming inside

Maybe this wasn't the best outfit to wear to lecture. It really did fit rather tightly around your ass, and god, if you lifted your arms, half of your torso showed. It really didn’t leave anything to the imagination, but who cared? I mean, maybe, but also, you didn’t care much. I mean, what was the worst that could happen, right? Your TA stares at you the entire class? Newsflash, he does that anyway. It was so obvious that Jotaro Kujo had a thing for you, and it honestly boosted your self confidence at least tenfold. He was attractive, strong, and smart. Anyone attracted to men would want to be with a guy like that, but he kept to himself mostly. If you weren’t more perceptive, or maybe if he wasn’t so weird about it all, then you probably wouldn’t have noticed in the first place. But the way his eyes seemed to keep on you for a moment too long, the way he lingered by your desk for just a moment longer than everyone else, the way he almost seemed to freeze up when he heard your voice, it was all too obvious. 

But then, why didn’t Kujo admit it? You were constantly dropping hints at this point that you were interested, often loudly talking about how you were single and looking for a partner while you knew Jotaro was in earshot, but he wouldn’t bite. Not that you were interested in him or anything… Well, that’s a lie. You totally were interested in him, but Jotaro was interested  in you first, so he had to be the one to admit that he liked you. Those were the rules. Totally.

But, alas, you didn’t have much time to really consider the pros and cons of your outfit. You only had Kujo’s discussion today, thank god. It should be a crime to have class on Friday anyway, not to mention that it was at ten in the morning. It should be illegal to have a class this early. Yes, you were at this point nocturnal, but you were also in college. You don’t exist before noon. So naturally, you were up getting ready for your class way later than when you told yourself at three AM last night, and you kind of had to get a move on.  You already had forfeited a real breakfast, stuffing bagels into your backpack and eating them during your discussion would have to do. 

So you headed off on the uneventful walk to your class. Thank god it wasn’t on the other side of campus, otherwise you probably wouldn’t have come for most of the semester. It was always such a hassle to get all the way over there, you didn’t want to deal with it. You couldn’t remember if you actually checked where this class was when you signed up for it, so you couldn’t be certain if this was some sort of foresight on your sight, or just plain luck. Either way, you got to the classroom pretty quickly, sitting down exactly 2 minutes before class was supposed to actually start. You snagged a seat towards the back so you could eat your bagels in peace, but still seem like you were totally paying attention. Jotaro’s eyes on you didn’t go unnoticed, but you couldn’t care to comment on them now, too invested in the idea of food as you pulled out your notebook to take notes on whatever was going to be rambled on about. Jotaro stayed on topic with your chapter, but he seemed to have preferences in what he was talking about. You could tell that what he enjoyed talking about and what he didn’t, because it just showed in the way his tone changed based on the topic. But today… Well, you weren’t paying so much attention to what Jotaro was saying, as the tone of his voice. His voice seemed lower than usual, with a strange gravelly quality to it. Was he sick? I mean, his eyes were on you, they tended to be, but they seemed so much more glued onto you than they were before. You took a bite of your bagel, not even remembering the outfit you decided to wear today and the possible effect that it might have on the man you were certain was at least mildly attracted to you. Nah, you were too busy with that damn bagel. 

So, you let yourself get lost in the cantor of Jotaro’s voice as he talked about this or that regarding this biology course. Truly, you could care less. He was just spitting out everything that the professor had to say during lecture, so why bother? You had your notes and you were fairly sure you understood everything that was discussed. And if you found when you finally reviewed your notes that you had no idea what was going on, then you could go to the million review sessions that were available to you before the text. It would really be fine, absolutely no worries. And thank god, discussions were only fifty minutes. You told yourself that you were going to go back to your dorm and study after this, but you knew deep in your heart that you were going to scroll through social media for an hour, get an early lunch, and then go back to sleeping until like five, where you would rouse yourself and prepare to forget the entirety of your evening. Well… At least, that was the plan, anyway.

And that was that. Class ended without a hitch, and you slowly started to pack up your stuff. It seemed so tiring to have all these people try to cram information into your head so quickly, but alas. College was needed for basically every job industry these days, there was no way really out of it. That didn’t mean you weren’t going to complain on an almost daily basis though. You were thinking about whether or not bacon was going to be left when Jotaro’s voice cut through your thoughts, forcefully and without shame.

“(Y/n). A word after everyone clears out.” You would smirk at that, but the tone of Jotaro’s voice wasn’t what you expected. It seemed frustrated, almost angry. Oh fuck, what had you done wrong now? What possibly could you have done to get yourself in trouble, the whole time you were just sitting in the back and… Wait, was eating in class allowed? Oh no. Oh god, were you really going to get called out for fucking eating a bagel? Life was truly cruel. 

You swallowed as you watched everyone trail out of the room, silently pleading that someone stay, keep you from this nightmare that was confrontation. God, when you said you wanted Jotaro to talk to you, you didn’t mean like this! But everyone left, the door was closed behind Jotaro, and you lugged yourself over to the front of the room to sit across from his teacher’s desk. You didn't even notice how Jotaro locked the door.

“I assume you know why you’re here.” His voice seemed so careful, measured as he sat down, and for once, his piercing eyes made you shrink into your seat. But no, you couldn’t just give in and give up now! You had to be strong! Or, at least act like you were strong.

“Yeah, and I’m not sorry, it was just a bagel, dude. If you have to get your power fantasy from yelling at me for fulfilling a basic need, then maybe see a therapist.” You crossed your arms, vaguely noticing how it pulled your top just a little lower. Jotaro snorted and shook his head, actually amused at how confident you were. About the completely wrong thing, but hey. You really had the spirit.

“You really think I would give a damn about a some stupid bread? You know, I thought you were maybe playing hard to get, but maybe you’re just dense.” He replied, leaving you just a bit shocked. You were so trapped in the euphoria of bread that you forgot you were wearing clothes specifically meant to drive Jotaro wild. “You think I wouldn’t notice your little stunt. I ought to tear off that little outfit and fuck you over this counter like you deserve.” There was a certain growl in Jotaro’s voice that left your knees weak, and you struggled to keep up with the sudden change of demeanor. Maybe you didn’t know Jotaro as well as you liked to think you did, not able to read him as well as previously interpreted. Still, you did your best to pull yourself together, hoping to strike back with some semblance of wit. Even if Jotaro was expressing some sort of feelings for you, you weren’t just going to show all your cards now. Best to keep bluffing and see how the match turns out.

“If that’s what I deserve, I’m not sure I have many objections. But are you actually going to do it, or are you just going to continue to sit there and talk?” You let a smile crawl across your face as Jotaro’s expression got darker, and in what seemed to be instant, he was on the other side of the desk, his lips crashing against yours. You gasped against the kiss, allowing Jotaro to push him tongue into your mouth as his hands reached your hips, grabbing onto them tight. He remained there for a good moment, pulling away when you were finally gasping to put air back in your lungs. He just growled as he used the moment to help pull your top off, throwing it to the side as his eyes took in your form.

“Such a dirty thing, dressing up like that. You like the attention, don’t you? You should only be seen like that by me.” He leaned in to run a hand through your hair as you eagerly moved to unbutton Jotaro’s shirt, ready to get this moving as much as he was. “You’re fucking mine, no one else should be allowed to see you like that.” He replied. You just laughed and hummed as Jotaro shrugged off his coat, ready to bite back just a bit.

“Oh, I’m yours now? I don’t recall that ever being something we agreed upon. Maybe I’m missing something? Like the part where you confessed your feelings to me?” You teased, Jotaro’s freed arm wrapping around you to bring you just a bit closer. It was like if he didn’t hang onto you, you might flutter away, like sand slipping through his fingers, never to return.

“I’ll make you mine then, fuck. You don’t know what you do to me, how many nights I’ve been awake without you there. I love you, you should’ve figured that out by now.” Jotaro grumbled a bit, almost childishly. You paused for a moment, before laughing a bit, shaking your head. God, maybe the reason Jotaro was so quiet was that he never could get out his words in a cool way. When he started talking in a way that wasn’t explicitly planned out, it was almost like he was just saying the first words that came into his brain. Well, maybe he was. Who can say. 

“I know. I was just waiting for you to come out and say it. I couldn’t tell if you were shy or just denying your feelings, so I figured I would give you time in case it was the latter.” Well, that was a total lie. You just wanted a cute confession where Jotaro was all blushing and shit, but that was all out the window now anyway, so who cared?

“Liar. You just were being a sadist.” He chuckled a bit, leaving you just to roll your eyes as you slowly moved down to your knees. Well, fuck it. The two of you were horny, and if you were keeping your shirt off, you were at least going to get a little action here. 

“Maybe I am. Wouldn’t you like to know?” You replied, moving to unbuckle Jotaro’s belt. Belts? It was confusing. Either way, you got the damn thing unbuckled and moved to Jotaro’s zipper, noticing the massive bulge that was clearly straining against Jotaro’s trousers. Jotaro was a big guy, so it would make sense that it would translate to that, but still. Gulp.

“You seem nervous all of a sudden. Why’s that?” You just rolled your eyes at Jotaro’s smirk, slightly tempted to tease him further just for looking that smug at you. But no, not today. Another time, maybe, but not today. You reached and yanked down his pants and underwear without much fanfare. He let a low growl out of his throat from the action, but you were more focused on the size of Jotaro in general. What was your plan for all of this again? You weren’t sure, but mama didn’t raise no quitter. You just leaned in and wrapped your hand around the base of Jotaro’s shaft, looking up at him coyly.

“I’m not nervous at all. Don’t you worry about a thing.” You told Jotaro before leaning forward, hollowing out your cheeks and wrapping your lips around Jotaro’s cock. He immediately let out a groan and let a hand rest on top of your head, his fingers weaving through your hair but not gripping down, allowing you to adjust and set your own pace. You saw Jotaro’s blissful expression and felt just a bit of pride well up in you, knowing that you were the one who caused him that. You slowly moved your head, only being able to reach about halfway before you hit the back of your throat, your body threatening to choke on him, but you make up for it by using your hand on what your lips couldn’t reach. 

You moved at a slow, worshipful pace, taking in the expression on Jotaro’s face as well as slowly working on getting your throat to relax so you could take Jotaro deeper. You could tell he was holding himself back from making any sounds, his teeth digging into his bottom lip so hard you swore that he was going to make himself bleed. You couldn't help but rub your own legs together, unable to sate that aching heat that was pooling in your gut, leaving you to let out a small moan. The vibrations only seemed to spur Jotaro on, unable to stop himself from bucking his hips slightly. You gasped, pulling away from a moment to take a breath, before smirking up at Jotaro.

“You couldn’t help yourself, huh? I bet you would like it if I let you-” You couldn’t get your words out before Jotaro’s grip on your hair tightened, pulling you forward and back down onto his cock. You gagged as he pushed all the way back into your throat, but he just groaned, rubbing your head slightly as if to comfort you. You moaned just a little, willing your throat to loosen just a bit, letting your own fingers dig into your pants as you whimpered at the heat inside of you.

“You talk too much. Just let me… That’s it, that’s better…” Jotaro’s voice was low, akin to something almost guttural as he began to move in your mouth, holding you tight enough to keep you still, but not so tight that you couldn’t move if you truly wanted to. You did your best to stay put, at least. It was actually sort of hot to be manhandled like this, not that you would ever admit that to him. You just moaned and did your best to breathe through your nose as Jotaro had his way with you, relishing in the way his hips would stutter just a little whenever you took the initiative to use your tongue or moan on you. You felt your drool start to drip down your chin as Jotaro’s hips stuttered a bit more, and you could tell that he was close to cumming. But it seemed that right before he actually did, he quickly pulled himself out of your mouth, leaving you to sputter and gasp for a moment. But that moment didn’t last long, Jotaro easily moving forward to push you to the ground, immediately moving to pull off your pants and underwear. You squeaked as your back hit the ground, Jotaro moving in to press his lips against your neck as he pressed up against your entrance.

“Fuck, I bet you would be so tight for me.... Please, let me, I want you so badly…” Jotaro groaned, and if you were any more lost in your own lust, you might actually say yes. But, your own rationality was enough to tell you that Jotaro was far too big, and you were not in the slightest prepared.

“J-Jotaro, please… You know you’re too big, I’m not ready yet… Soon, I just got to be prepared a bit…” You replied, and although Jotaro pouted just a bit, he obliged. You moved to use your own fingers, but Jotaro quickly swatted you away, pushing one of his own inside of you. You immediately let out a soft whimper. God, Jotaro’s hands were way bigger than yours, but still, you weren’t expecting something like this. You felt your toes curl as Jotaro poked and prodded inside of you, adding another finger to help scissor you open.

“G-God, Jotaro… Feels so good, fuck…” You whined, moving to drape your arms over Jotaro’s shoulders and try to pull him closer. It was nice to feel just his skin against yours. He felt so much warmer than you, like his heat was trying to swallow you up, bring you closer to him. Whatever it was, it was working. As Jotaro slowly worked you open, you felt your knees go a bit weak, Jotaro’s lips and occasional teeth on your neck enough to make you moan. Pray to god there isn’t meant to be a class here anytime soon.

You let out a displeased grumble as Jotaro pulled his fingers out of you, your body clamping around him in an attempt to keep him inside of you. Although you were still probably shittily prepared, it was enough for you to throw out all reason as Jotaro moved back to rut against you, a low growl coming from his throat enough to make you quiver.

“Beg for it. Beg for me to fuck you.” His voice was in your ear as he threatened to nip at it, unable to control his mouth from bruising you wherever he got access. Still, you weren’t opposed to the idea of begging. If it meant getting what you wanted, you might do anything.

“F-Fuck, please, Jotaro! Need you, need you so bad! I love you, please, I love you so much, want you to fuck me, please!” You barely registered the words coming out of your mouth, but Jotaro’s eyes widened and left him almost sputtering as he pushed inside of you, groaning as your nails dug into his shoulders. He pushed in slowly, staying still as he could while you adjusted to him. There was certainly a sting from the stretch, but it wasn’t anything that you couldn’t handle. You took a deep breath and tried to regain any semblance of self you had, only for Jotaro to start moving again, and you lost your composure all over again. 

Jotaro let his nails dig into your hips hard enough to draw blood, gripping you tightly as he began to thrust into you at a brutal pace, leaving you to moan as you tried to pull Jotaro ever closer.

“Tell me that you love me. Tell me again, please. Tell me, god, tell me over and over…” Jotaro groaned, and god, you were more than happy to oblige. Who even cares if you spilled the beans first in a technical sense? Maybe you said the words first, but Jotaro was more than happy to show his affection. Hey, you weren’t about to complain about it. 

“Fuck, love you, Jotaro. Love you so much, loved you since I first saw you, fuuuck, there, feels so good, I love you, please!” You whined out, Jotaro just growling and moving faster. You tried to move, to grind your hips against Jotaro the best you could, but Jotaro just held you in place, refusing to let you move. He was content in fucking you until you could barely move at his own pace, which just so happened to be as fast as humanly possible.

“I love you too, (Y/n). You’re mine, all mine, I love you so much, don’t ever leave me. Please, say you’re mine, I’m yours!” Jotaro growled, pressing his forehead against yours in an attempt to gain just a bit more contact with you.

“All yours, Jotaro, all yours! God, I’m gonna cum, please!” You whined out, feeling your body start to tighten and flutter on Jotaro’s cock, the coil in your belly threatening to snap at any moment you would let it. Jotaro just groaned, your words spurring him on to move faster, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he felt himself coming to a close.

“Fuck, cum with me, please, fuck, gonna cum inside you, fill you up, all mine, god-!” He groaned, snapping his hips forward one last time before you felt a warm heat start to fill you up, enough to push you over the edge and leave you clawing down Jotaro’s back, your eyes rolling into your skull. 

The two of you sat like that for a while, bodies pressed against each other as the two of you caught your breath, basking in each other’s presence. After a few minutes, Jotaro finally pulled out and let his lips catch against yours, pulling you into a sloppy kiss. You heartily pressed back into it, letting yourself melt into it as the two of you shared this tender moment.But, as soon as it began, it seemed to end, with Jotaro pulling himself up and starting to redress himself. You pouted, looking up at him.

“I guess you’re not the cuddling type.” You were half teasing, crossing your arms just a little to show you were just the slightest bit upset. Jotaro just rolled his eyes.

“I’m not a fan of cuddling on dirty classroom floors, no. You should have higher standards for yourself.” He replied, leaving you only to laugh.

“You didn’t mind the floor when we were-” You teased, but Jotaro only rolled his eyes and cut you off.

“Shut up. I swear, I don’t know how I’m going to survive you as a partner.” Jotaro replied as he pulled his belt on. The comment made you pause. Partners?

“W-What do you mean by that? Are you saying we’re dating now?” You asked, feeling your cheeks start to heat up just the slightest bit.

“What else? Seriously, you don’t know how to read the room at all.” Jotaro sighed, holding his hand out to you. You paused for a moment before taking it gingerly, only to be yanked up and pulled into Jotaro’s arms. You gasped, feeling yourself pressed up against Jotaro as he held you in his arms.

“Hey. I love you, you know.” You whispered, unable to keep the words from dribbling out of your mouth. It was quick, quiet, as if you didn’t want Jotaro to hear. As if it was some big secret, or that you were afraid that his strong arms would let you go if he heard those words. But he held onto you still, keeping you close to his chest as his hand brushed through your hair. It was almost tender, in a way that made your already jelly knees weaken.

“Don’t worry. I love you too.” Jotaro replied, leaning in to press a kiss against your lips. You let your arms wrap around him, praying that this was no dream. 

But this was real, thank god, and you never felt more at home than you did right now.

#jjba imagines #jjba x reader #jjba/reader #jotaro kujo/reader #jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo x reader #jotaro/reader #writing #My writing #mine #not sfw

[havertzgalaxy]

Deep Orange - Kai Havertz fanfiction (Chapter One)

A/N: First part of a series I hope to continue. Title is still uncertain for me so this is kind of a place holder. This is a little bit of a dark tale, but I love the idea of Kai in a darker role. If you enjoyed it please give it a like or anything so I know to keep writing! I have a lot more to say about this story :) 

Warnings: Alcohol, drug use, swearing, sexual references 

Summary: Kai Havertz, a rising star in the football world, has just moved to London and he's off to a rocky start. After agreeing to go to a party with one of his old friends from high school, he meets Katrin Hummels, a mysterious, German musician who has lived in the UK for over a decade. Katrin flirts with Kai at this party, and he reveals that he is in a committed relationship. Nevertheless, Kai is heavily intrigued by her and the two quickly become friends. As Kai balances his career and his relationship, Katrin invites him out constantly to parties and clubs, which distract him from his important life goals. Soon, Kai finds himself on a downwards, drunken spiral of addiction and on a collision course with Katrin.

Available here on Tumblr, but here is the link for the fic on wattpad incase anyone prefers to read stories there: https://www.wattpad.com/1094322435-deep-orange-chapter-one 

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Chapter 1 

Let me start with the night I first met Katrin. Now, it seems odd to even think about a time before Katrin had a poisonous grip on my life, and there really isn’t anything in my life worth reciting before her. It was a quiet week in between matches in the Premier League and I had off for seven days, which was rare. I was invited to an evening out with a friend from high school who was studying in London at the time. Hesitantly, I accepted, but made it clear to myself that this was not a friend I would like to hang out with regularly. I mostly accepted to please my mother who had been pressing me to find friends from my previous life so I would eventually return home. So I called up my mother and told her I was finally meeting Leo Sauer. The most German German I had ever known moved to London. And I was meeting with him. 

I had never thought of Leo as a wild card. He pretty much stuck to the rules. A good German boy got good grades and excelled in athletics, but this German boy had blossomed out of the rulebook. Suddenly Leo was a stoner philosophy student with connections to an underground intelligentsia-creative scene, a world woefully unfamiliar to myself. I have had so few nights out in my life, due to the demands of my rigorous football schedule, but I always accepted that absence in my life as a necessary sacrifice. It was not something I ever thought I would miss as I aged, especially if I had a World Cup in my hands. But my first memories of regret started as I took a cab out to the party. I noticed the way the signs on the businesses had a fading and mesmerizing glow, like there was a specific quality of the night that was turning everything neon forever. The air was orange, then it turned red. I thought to myself how odd it felt to go out to a place where I was specifically going to socialize. 

And these feelings worsened when I arrived at the party. I was way out of my element.  I began contemplating my own death as I walked through the doorway at a frustratingly overpriced two story flat in South London. I wondered what such an eccentric party was doing in a rather lame neighborhood, and why it was heavily decorated with memorabilia from India. As I turned each corner I passed another Ganesh, another Vishnu, Brama, until I was greeted with an overwhelming scent of incense and marijuana. The house was very dimly lit and seemed to be decorated in a frantic rush for a party, with multicolored christmas lights sufficing as lighting in long and dark stretches of the house. In one corner there was a red lamp without a lamp shade that provided an intense source of light that you couldn’t look at for two long. The entire house was pulsating to a dull bass line that rather confused me and as I breathed in the display of punk, artistic, and heavily braided London set, I quickly scanned the room for Leo and immediately joined forces with him, promising to myself that I would not to leave his side for the rest of the night. 

“King Kai!” Leo gasped. He reached out his hand and pulled me in for a hug. “I didn’t think you’d make it, man!” 

I switched to German, feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable for the moment in English. “Leo, bro, you look great.” I shuddered at my own words, did I usually sound this stupid? I never have this lack of confidence, what was going on with me? 

“Jasmine, this is my friend Kai.” Leo turned to a beautiful girl sitting beside him. She had her hair fixed behind a vintage bandana and wore large and thick gold hoop earrings. “Kai, this is Jasmine. Her parents usually live with her, but she’s had a free house since last Tuesday. She studies philosophy as well with me at UCL.” 

“Nice one! I’m Kai,” I extended my hand to her, suddenly overly aware of my accent. 

“So great to meet you, Kai. Leo’s been mentioning how he has another friend in London. What are you doing here?” Jasmine revealed a thick London accent, or what I presumed to be one. 

I was puzzled as to why she did not know what I was doing in London, but I responded quickly, “I play with Chelsea Football Club. Sort of recently moved to London, it’s been about three weeks so far.” 

“You’re fucking with me!” Jasmine threw her head back in laughter. 

“No, no. He’s actually totally serious.” Leo replied coldly. 

“Oh no way! That’s wicked, man. I don’t think I ever met anyone on my sixth form’s football team, let alone Chelsea. I don’t give a fuck about football, but I hope your team does well now.” Jasmine cackled some more and Leo cracked open a beer quietly. “I actually don’t think you’re gonna meet anyone at this party who cares about football.” 

Leo looked around and tensed his face awkwardly. 

I smiled and retorted, “I think that’s a good thing!” 

Jasmine darted up from her seat to reconnect with a girl who had arrived apparently called “Therese.” And suddenly Leo and I were momentarily alone. After an awkward silence between us Leo pressed me about my life. I asked him about his, and we spoke on and off about our past life back in Germany. 

For the next thirty minutes, Leo continued to introduce me to a staggering amount of substance-abusing artists, unemployed twenty-two year olds, or trust-funded humanities students. Thinking quickly, I introduced myself as another philosophy student from Germany. I didn’t want to repeat the same conversation I had with Jasmine again. Although they questioned why I couldn’t have a bump of ket or a hit off a joint. After pretending to be someone I was not, I felt nervous. My palms were sweaty and my shirt felt tight. I wondered whether I actually passed off as someone from this corner of society, or if I looked like an outsider. 

“Leo,” I turned to my only friend at this party. “I think I should go before someone takes a picture of this and sends this to my manager. I shouldn’t be at a party with anything illegal.” 

“Kai, if someone takes a picture of you at this party and does something like that they’d never be invited to anything ever again.” Leo explained, “This is a very moral group of people. They’ve certainly had more than enough time to think about their values.” Leo responded with a quick joke. “Just let loose. Tonight might be your last night of this kind of freedom.” 

So I ran across the street with a mask on in an anonymous pursuit of a Best-One and bought as many beers as I possibly could, deciding to get rip-roaring drunk. Something I had not really experienced properly in my life before that night. I returned to hide my beers in a bookshelf upstairs, downed three beers in a row with Leo, and talked to as many people as possible claiming I was this philosophy student of German philosophers. When they tried to talk to me about philosophy I just bullshitted my way through the conversation and we all laughed together. They were too high, I was too drunk. Nothing mattered. None of us were on the same page anyway. The alcohol hit me like a bullet train and I laughed and laughed at the fact that I was finally wasted. Everything felt like a dream. 

In my drunken stupor I could hardly recognize the couch from the floor, although I delicately found the last available place on a couch in the upstairs hallway of the flat. I don’t remember properly reflecting on why there was a couch in a hallway, there just was and I accepted that. Upstairs, the music was slightly softer, and it sounded like it was made years ago and was playing out of an old stereo. Although the upstairs music was struggling to make itself heard over the louder computer-made music coming from downstairs. Deep in my philosophical contemplation over the music, I forgot how my legs and depth perception worked, and I stumbled onto the couch, nearly spilling over my beer onto a girl on my way down. 

“Entschuldig-” I began in German, quickly correcting myself and forgetting how to speak English under the influence, “ah, fuck, sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” 

Short dark brown hair, a fading tan, big brown eyes with heavy eye makeup, and slightly crooked teeth turned to me at once declaring back in German, “You’re very drunk.” She locked eyes with me deeply. She was direct. Holy shit. “I don’t think we’ve met.” 

“Wow, you speak German as well?” I held her gaze for moments more before feeling something too intense. “I mean,” I stuttered, “I’m Kai. I just moved here a few weeks back.” 

“I’m Katrin.” She smiled wide and took a long sip of her drink. “Of course I speak German.” 

“Of course you speak German? Not every random stranger speaks German.” I teased, leaning my head back against the wall to stop the room from spinning out of control. 

“I’m not every random stranger.” She smacked her lips and leaned back. She had a low, husky voice. A voice that had clearly been weathered by smoking and yelling. Even if her lifestyle choices were made apparent through her voice there was something about this woman that was puzzling me in a wonderful way. She had long intense stares and big brown eyes that powered them. She spoke sharply and lit a joint. I drunkenly inhaled her smoke. “I think I recognize your face. I think you play for Chelsea.” 

Something inside me broke. I freaked out that she had some kind of power over me, as if she was threatening to blow my cover. She stared deeply at me as my lips fumbled to create a response. I raised my eyebrows in shock. Slowly I slurred a response. “Do you watch football?” 

“Not if I don’t have to.” Katrin laughed, she quickly changed expression and replied. “Sorry, I don’t mean to insult.” 

“Nah, I’m not insulted. I think the majority of the world would agree with me that it’s a sport worth watching.” I retorted fast, feeling my breath hot in my throat suddenly. In the other room I could hear some large bouts of laughter and the music changing at irregular intervals. Someone must have been skipping through songs. 

“Let’s just say you win that argument then.” She cooed. “But I must tell you...I’m only lying.” She giggled, “I didn’t even know what Chelsea was until my friend, Jasmine, told me about an hour ago that another German was here. She told me that you play football here or something. And then she was like, ‘no one's gonna recognize him here’ and I was like, ‘as I German maybe I will, is he famous?’ So we googled you and we were like what the fuck. This dude is famous as shit.” 

“Clearly not that famous.” I gestured around the room to the slew of preoccupied people, but quickly returned my gaze back to Katrin. I was utterly transfixed. Each word out of her mouth weighed heavy on my mind. Was she telling the truth? What was her story? She was a challenging conversation, making me nervous for no reason, “We don’t have to talk about that football shit. We don’t even have to talk in German.” I paused and burped. The room was spinning. I felt myself losing control of my reserve. “Sorry I’m quite drunk.” 

“You’re not the only one.” She smiled and lifted up her small bottle of cheap vodka. 

“I...I don’t usually drink. I’m not really allowed.” 

“Not allowed?” Katrin raised her eyebrows. “Says who?” 

“It’s part of my job. I’m not supposed to be rebellious, I’m supposed to be a role model.” I added nervously. 

“You’d be a much better role model if you broke some rules.” She poured a large amount of vodka into her cup before mixing it with a little bit of soda. “Fuck, you’d be my role model.” 

“You’re a rule breaker? That’s not very German of you.” I took a long swig of my beer after I spoke. She stayed silent so I spoke quickly, “Why are you in London anyway?” 

She put her hands in between her face and wiped her hair back, composing herself. “I was forced to move here from Bavaria when I was twelve. My dad got a job in London and the whole family moved except my older brother who seems to get out of everything. Forced to learn English when I was thirteen, forced to go to university, make my parents proud. Then I dropped out. It wasn’t for me. Now I’m what you call a ‘soundcloud musician.’” She explained, “And I’m also what you’d call a lifeguard for a leisure centre near me.” 

“That’s a lot to unpack.” I let out a loud laugh. 

Katrin did not respond right away to me and this freaked me out. I wondered if I said the wrong thing, maybe I should have responded with some compassion and sympathy. Surely she was looking for a more in depth conversation, something which she might find with the intellectual class around us, I was just merely a guy she struck up conversation with because he almost spilled cold beer all over her. Where did I put the rest of my beers, anyway? 

Before my thoughts spiralled off any further, she spoke again. “You have the most unusual face I’ve ever seen.” She touched my cheek with the tips of her fingers and my skin burned. As she moved her fingers across my face, her eyes flared and her pupils dilated. “Like you weren’t born on this planet.” 

Her words sent shivers down my whole body and penetrated deep into my soul. Why was she touching me? What did she mean by any of this? Do I look ugly to her? I felt awkward by her comments, so I laughed nervously and asked suddenly, “What kind of music do you make?” 

Before she could reply, the song had changed to something I couldn’t quite hear and she shouted out, “You fuckers! Turn this shit off!” She turned to me, grabbed two beer cans in her hands, dangling the joint in between her fingers, and did a dance, “I’m sorry, Kai, I’ve got to go make these idiots turn off my music before everyone with a brain leaves this party... But come to my show on Friday and you can see what kinda music I make.” 

“Where is it?” 

“Islington Assembly Hall. 7pm.” She leaned over, and I watched her lips grow closer to mine before she stopped, and whispered, “I wish I could stay longer and talk. I haven’t met anyone this captivating to me in a while… You’re a troubled soul and I can sense that. And God do I wanna fuck you.” 

Her words had floored me so much I could hardly reply, but I mustered, “Unfortunately I am already spoken for.” 

“That’s a shame. I think we were in love in a past life.” She winked, pulled back her intoxicating scent, walked off with a spring in her step before shouting back, “See you Friday!” 

As she left I felt time moving more slowly for the first time in my life. I felt a sense of impending doom, while simultaneously feeling an inexplicably intense ecstasy. I knew from the moment I met her, Katrin was a ticking time bomb. For the rest of the night I stayed on the couch in the upstairs hallway at a party in a forgotten corner of London, completely transfixed.

#kai havertz #kai havertz fanfiction #german nt #euro 2020 #euros #chelsea #chelsea fanfiction #fanfiction

[juhihuji]

do u have any random facts or things about Depth of heaven and ur characters (sfw or nsfw 🤭) even if what you want never comes to light, I really enjoy reading the concepts and asks about ur OCs

Hehehe I haven't thought about the characters and their story in a long time, until recently...but I never put a huge amount of thought into them before either! I kinda just knew I...wished I could make something cool that had everything I wanted in that kind of game lmao. Even if it doesn't happen, I felt like I wanted there to be twists and secrets...if it never happens then nobody but me will ever know about them, huh! But, if it does happen then I'll spoil stuff for later! What to do...ah I'll share about it! But I'm giving it a spoiler warning for something that doesn't exist anyway lmao Also I'm not a writer or a scientist this is all wacky world rules ok xd also there might be inconsistencies idk I never wrote anything down I'll tell u their heights! June: 5'4 Puzzle: 6'3 Koa: 5'6 Adam: 6'1 Keizo: 6'7 Lloyd: 5'11 Static: 6' Cyril: 5'9 Holly: 5'7

In high school June and Puzzle were da weeaboos who listened to vocaloid on their phones at lunch. Puzzle wore cat ears, big headphones, and tutus to school. I think....I decided that because of her old bad design lmao. I thought I had a drawing of her in cat ears but I can't find it 😔 June prolly just wore hoodies and graphic t-shirts. They were each others prom dates! June wore a tux! Okay spoilery stuff ahead!

I have a general idea what I want the story to be, but right now I just see it as disjointed scenes in my head. I posted some June and Puzzle wearing dresses where I wanted a scene to happen in a casino on the ship. Cruise ship casinos are kinda lame though lol, but it'll be as big and cool as I want >:•3 and it's an excuse to have everyone in cool formal wear cuz that's always fun! The cult leader calls for a big party on the ship and everyone has to attend! It's also where he culls the herd...because not everyone is worthy of going to heaven...apparently Koa likes playing video games! He's on the top of the leaderboard for one MMO, and during one event the top prize was blueprints for an in-game item: roller skates! It would make for cool merch to put on your wall or something. There was a rumor among the playerbase that the blueprints could make skates that function as they do in the game. Koa won the prints then used them to custom build his own skates (they look kinda generic now but I haven't put a lot of thought into their design lmao). The combination of materials used and construction give them a magical quality that allows him to skate faster than any human could! He's always pushing his limits, and sometimes it gets him in twubble xd Keizo has an issue with bad dreams...at night he replays all the times in his life where people were rude to him or each other, how he needs to keep peace between them, he just really hates assholes! He has nightmares about them treating him badly and there's nothing he can do, because at his height and with his strength he'd come off as the bad guy no matter what! They push and push 'til he's about to snap...then he wakes up! The rage super heats his blood and his skin glows red and steam pours out his ears! His hair is all wacky cuz it holds it's shape on the pillow from all the heat lmao June and the rest of them find out about it when they see steam coming out from under his door at night. Don't wake him up though! If he's still glowing hot he'll sleep walk while in a berserk state. First, it makes him really rude himself lmao. He'll say all the nasty things he won't when he's awake! Second, if he sees someone doin' shit he don't like, they're gettin' these 🤜🤛 In his happy ending you'd see him with his hair flat for the first time wouldn't that be nice :•3 Adam is always doing experiments on himself, kinda just for shits, kinda because he wants to discover something amazing....!.....?!?!??! When he was younger, his sister, who he loved v much, died. He wanted to become a doctor, not because he wanted to find a cure for the thing that killed his sister...because she died in an accident! He wanted to find a way to make people invincible! He's always injecting himself with stuff hoping it'll make him stronger. He likes Keizo as a friend, but to Adam Keizo is a perfect specimen of an indestructable human. Adam's been fascinated with him for a while, but Keizo also just makes for a good subject for testing against! Also, they met when Adam was studying abroad and Keizo came up on a motorbike and attacked the wheels on Adam's scooter. Cute! :•) Keizo used to be a bad boy :•( Other experiments Adam's done: Eyesight like a HAWK Cat ears but for real Jelly bones(?) Longer ween 😳 Lloyd is a stinky tech wiz who likes playing around with AI's and robotics! He has myassive myega brains and he monitors many of the functions of the ship by himself in his server room. When the captain is captured and thrown off the ship, Lloyd uses his know-how and special accesses to make sure the cult doesn't make a mess of everything. He knows about and can see everything that happens on the ship...for fun he likes video games toooo! And plays with Koa! He likes buildin' lil gadgets n tings for fun too! They can come in real handy! nsfw! Stuff past here!!!!!!!!! June, Koa, and Lloyd are all inexperienced!

As a lover, Keizo tries to be gentle...but once he gets into it he can be a bit rough! If you're into it, just enjoy! Or speak up and he'll slow down! Hmmm I was inspired by a scene from the film Crying Freeman (which I haven't actually watched 8•|) of some ppl doin' it in a closet(?)...it's all dark and cramped and humid and their skin is so shiny and glistening it's probably the thing that awoken me to drawing people super sweaty. I just can't help myself 😳 def wanna give Keizo a scene like that. This doodle was inspired by it actually lmao

Adam is patient and gentle! Lots of kisses and verbal reassurance and checking in w/ u. He's aware of his age and he doesn't wanna come off badly so he'll let you do all the pursuing. And June will pursue him hard if she has to! He's also gonna make you beg and ask, just so he's sure sure :•) He loves to sit her up on the examining table n do things wit his mouf n fingers 😳 I'd probably make it an option to call him daddy in certain scenarios...up to u if u choose it find out what happens for urself idk 😳😳😳 or don't

Koa likes to tease you, maybe bully you a lil, but when it comes to intimacy he's a wimp! I just like the idea of making the bully bend to your will, but he likes it. It just feels good to wipe that cocky smile off his face! Step on him! Make him whimper! I know June's a virg too, but Koa is just so easy to tease it makes it feel like second nature. BUT the more time they spend together, the more confident Koa becomes. So! Enjoy havin' him under your thumb while you can cuz it might not last forever! Lloyd tries to stay composed when June starts showing an interest. He's usually alone in his server room, but secretly appreciates her company when she comes by. At first he'll act like he's too busy. He's not used to being around women! As his interest in June grows it becomes harder to hide his feelings! So June notices...and teases him! Cuz it's just so easyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYY 😩 Seeing his serious expression crack when you put ur hands in his pants is lots of fun :•3 And he shows you a voice he's never shown anyone else before 🤤 He does his research and with your help he'll learn exactly how to worship u 😌 IF it ever happens there has to b a new game plus where u unlock threesome scenes with Koa/Lloyd and Adam/Keizo :•x That's all 4 now! Sorry I'm fuckin' gross and don't know how to type :•|

#the depth of heaven #koa #keizo #adam #lloyd #june #ocs #puzzle #text post

[comic-book-jawns]

A Proper Sleepover

“Hiya!”

Jamie’s head popped up a second later in the middle of the elaborate blanket fort that had taken over their studio apartment since she’d last seen it, heading out the door for her birthday dinner, after which Jamie had asked if she could walk around town for a bit — which hadn’t been asking a lot, considering it was a beautiful May evening in Vermont.

To say that Dani had always wanted to go to a sleepover was, in a sense, misleading. Growing up she’d had sleepovers at Eddie’s once a week if not more. But given the very fact of how often she was there, sleepover wasn’t quite the right word for it.

The O’Mara’s was like her second home — or maybe it was her own home that was the second home, if she were to judge a home by what a home was supposed to be like. Eventually, the O’Mara’s had grown stifling, of course, but it had never been cold.

In any case, it had not been the site of her first real sleepover, her only real sleepover. That had been at Ashley G’s house in seventh grade. Ashley wasn’t her friend. She didn’t have many friends aside from Eddie. But Ashley was rich, so she’d invited all the girls in their grade to sleep over in her gigantic basement.

Dani hadn’t slept at all, though. She’d been so excited to be included for once that it hadn’t occurred to her until she’d arrived that they would all be sleeping in one room, which meant if she had a nightmare, as she often did, everyone would know.

Fortunately, she’d been spared that embarrassment because she’d quickly become far too anxious to even try to sleep. There’d been the teasing about when she and Eddie were going to get married, if he was a good kisser. And, sure, it was uncomfortable, but she’d been expecting it.

What she had not expected was the near paralysis brought on by sitting in a tight circle with her pajama-clad classmates. Every time she would manage to find a perfect, if scoliosis-inducing, position in which to sit — one in which she was not touching anyone. Everyone would move around, and she’d have to start all over again.

At the time, she’d written it off as her not being used to touch. Her mother was many things but a hugger was not one of them. Eddie tried, but it always seemed to make him uncomfortable, especially as they’d gotten older. Eddie’s mom was the only person who’d ever hugged her with any real frequency. But even by then, it had begun to feel a tad smothering, if welcome nonetheless.

So, at the time, that’s what Dani had attributed her discomfort at the sleepover to. And, at the the time, she’d known it was a lie. So, despite the invites that she’d later received from girlfriends of Eddie’s friends when Eddie had suddenly become popular in high school, Dani had never gone to a sleepover again.

But the desire had never gone away. It had always felt like yet another experience she’d missed out on. So, she’d made an off-hand comment to Flora during their “sleepover” at Bly — which, incidentally, had been her and Jamie’s first “sleepover,” technically speaking. Jamie remained unaware of Dani’s early morning “check-in,” but evidently she’d done some recon of her own that night.

“So... do ya... ” Jamie scratched the back of her neck. “Never actually done this before, but - ”

“Jamie, it’s perfect!”

Dani was already struggling to see her through blurry eyes.

“Yeah?”

She could still make out Jamie’s cheeks getting redder, as her smile got more lopsided. Dani closed the door, which she’d only been able to open halfway on account of the outer rim of blankets and dropped the bag she’d been holding, containing a new novel for Jamie she’d just bought from the local bookstore.

Then, she bent double to enter the fort. The blankets gradually ascended as she got closer to the middle, not unlike a circus tent. But Dani stayed bent over like a linebacker and ran straight for Jamie. Wrapping one arm around her lower back and the other around her thighs, Dani lifted her and twirled around, smiling proudly as Jamie immediately giggled.

She managed to make it around about 1.5 times before falling over onto a pile of cushions, at which point she too burst out laughing. As they recovered, Jamie cleared her throat.

“Right, down to it, then.” She sat up and reached over to her left. “Ya need to strip.”

She turned back to find Dani smiling coyly.

“So you can put on these!” She held out her Blondie T-shirt, which she’d first given to Dani to borrow on her birthday, and pajama bottoms. “Honestly, Poppins!”

Dani blushed but grinned shamelessly as she took the clothes.

She’d been treated to breakfast in bed — “I apologize in advance,” Jamie had quipped as she’d handed her the plate. Dani had insisted it was delicious, and Jamie had explained that they had a dinner reservation, after which Dani would get her present, so until then, the day was reserved for whatever Dani wanted to do.

Coincidentally, they had not set foot outside their apartment until well into the afternoon.

*****

“You’re the one the one that I want!”

Dani woke up reclined against the cushions, her view of the TV partially obstructed by Jamie who was leaning forward, hugging Dani’s knees on either side of her. As she watched, Jamie stretched her right arm out to grab a handful of popcorn, threw it her mouth and wrapped her arm around Dani’s knee once more, never taking her eyes off the screen.

Jamie had rented three movies from Blockbuster. They’d started with My Side of the Mountain, a childhood favorite of Dani’s that Jamie had found herself loving as well.

Next was Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, a relatively new movie they’d heard good things about. Jamie had said as the credits rolled that “playin’ truant” was for “tossas” and if Ferris were really cool he would’ve dropped out like she had, and Dani had whacked her with a pillow, instigating a pillow fight that had served as a quality intermission.

Grease, which Jamie claimed she’d picked purely for Dani’s benefit to check romcom off the sleepover bucket list, had been the closer. Dani had nodded off sometime after Danny and Sandy’s reunion at school and smiled now as she watched Jamie watch them celebrate their decision to change everything about themselves in spandex.

She wrapped her arms around Jamie’s stomach and pulled herself up, resting her chin on Jamie’s shoulder.

“Hey, you,” Jamie said softly.

Her eyes remained on the screen as the song wrapped.

“You could’ve turned something else on.”

“Well, I didn’t know when you’d wake up, did I?”

“Mmhmm.”

Dani’s smile was more of a smirk now.

“Tryna say something, Poppins?”

Dani sighed.

“Oh, just that I’m... hopelessly devoted to you.”

Dani giggled as Jamie scoffed.

“Ya better not be.”

“No?”

“Well, not... ” Jamie cleared her throat. “Not hopelessly, anyway.”

Dani smiled and leaned in to kiss Jamie’s reddening cheek.

“Deal.”

Even from this angle, she could see Jamie smile shyly. Dani knew she was almost ready. She’d half-wondered if that would be her present — Jamie saying it. But she wasn’t disappointed in the slightest. All she’d really wanted for her birthday was to be with Jamie. After all, it hadn’t exactly been a sure thing.

She’d secretly been kicking herself since the night of Jamie’s birthday, several months ago at this point, when she’d joked that she was sure Jamie would be able to “think of something” for hers. She hadn’t offended Jamie — Jamie was the one who’d joked about it in the first place — but she had broken her cardinal rule. She’d talked about the future.

Of course, Jamie had already figured out when her birthday was, so there was nothing Dani could’ve done differently, really. But still, she’d been haunted by the thought that that conversation would be all Jamie would have, that it would haunt her too if they never got the chance to celebrate it.

So she’d never brought it up again. But, at last, the day had come, and it had been better than she ever could’ve imagined.

“Oi, what’s this?!” Jamie gestured at the TV. “S’not even real words!”

Dani laughed, facing forward again. “We Go Together” had started up.

“So this is where you draw the line?”

“Well, the other songs - ”

“Yes?”

Dani’s smirk was back. Jamie closed her mouth and cleared her throat, before chuckling.

“We gotta get you to a show.”

“Huh?”

“A musical.”

Jamie laughed again.

“You and I both know that you’ll love it.”

Jamie’s shy smile was back. Dani’s tone had not left room for rebuttal. Jamie finally turned her head to look at her.

“Thank you.”

Dani smiled widely and leaned in for a kiss. She’d broken her rule again. But she supposed she’d just made another one. She wouldn’t give up on hope.

#dani x jamie #jamie x dani #damie fanfic #damie fic #bly manor fic #bly manor fanfic #thobm fic #thobm fanfic #the haunting of bly manor #bly manor #thobm #dani clayton #jamie clayton #dani bly manor #jamie bly manor #jamie the haunting of bly manor #jamie the gardener #jamie taylor #thobm dani #dani thobm #thobm jamie #jamie thobm #wlw fic #wlw fanfic #f/f fanfic #f/f fic #lgbtq fanfiction