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#anyways im still looking for a new icon. got a few possibilities but im still undecided.
orcelito · 1 year
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minor details, but in chapter 68 of trimax we do see this bit:
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the items that vash kept in his coat.
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a "funbari doll" (which i cant find anything definite online about what that is with just a cursory look, so im going to run under the assumption that theyre some kind of collectable in-universe) & it's a red one, which is apparently rare. he still has the same pen radio that connects to his earring that's used waaay back on the sandsteamer. a swiss army knife, a random key, a used tissue (?), and...
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a lighter? blow torch? i still cant tell what that last bar thing is tho. & i guess he had some kind of (normal) coin too? but Only One.
love the characterization implications for this lol. definitely the kind of pocket contents i'd expect from a silly immortal with a big coat
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grimreaperschild · 10 months
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bones 2
summary: the group starts to adjust to life, you run into a familiar face on a supply run.
warnings: violence, gore, language if i’ve missed anything lmk
a/n: pls im kinda falling in love w this series 😭 but im exited for what’s to come, hope you guys like the new addition to the group ;) happy reading-🦷
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the first few seconds of waking up are always so blissful, your head tucked into the crook of tara’s neck nuzzling yourself impossibly closer as she raked her hands up your back lovingly, but as soon as you blink the sleep out of your eyes the weight of the say settles itself on your shoulders, digging it’s claws in like some oversized evil bird “good morning sleepyhead” tara’s lips press to the shell of your ear and you snuggle closer, she giggles “you slept in a little today baby everyone’s already awake” you stretch “well everyone’s gonna have to wait for me to brush my teeth” you shuffle around and throw some marvel pj pants on to match your spider-man t when you open the door to your and tara’s room your met with ethan fist raised, he jumped back at the sight of you and opened his mouth to talk you hold your finger up “im brushing my teeth first” he follows you like a lost puppy to the bathroom tara appearing beside you shoving a toothbrush in her mouth and promptly disappearing again.
as soon as your spit hits the basin ethan voice reaches your ears “so i was thinking and there has to be others hauled up in houses i mean if we survived so should other people” you turned the tap, no water great. things are going just great. you push past ethan and into the kitchen in search of your girlfriend she’s stood with sam and mindy, you pick up a pan and spoon and knock them together a couple times “family meeting everyone to there seats” you call thorough the house chuckling as you watch everyone scurry to the living room, it’s been a couple days since the outbreak, a couple days since quin. yesterday you and sam had taken the boards down from her room and thrown her body out the window and you’d all spent the rest of the day cleaning the carpet and making her room as nice as possible, you’d closed the door and boarded it up again out of respect.
you stand in the middle of the room, the coffee table having long been pushed out of the way the only person your missing was anika and you eye the stairs through the door you mentally count to 5 smiling as she rushes down the stairs right on cue “sorry im late sorry guys im here, here” she holds her hands up stepping between people to claim her spot bedside mindy “the waters out sooner than we thought” a collective groan could be heard from the group and you held a hand up to silence them “yes i know, not ideal but we planned for this remember? me chad and sam go scout outside see what it’s like” “im still mad i pulled the short straw if we were measuring dick sizes i wouldn’t have to go out there” “that’s only because me and y/n don’t have dicks, bird brain” you snort and cover your mouth pretending to cough when chad shoots daggers your way “i guess i can’t put this off any longer anyone have any weapon ideas? i atleast wanna be iconic” tara gives you an unimpressed look but you continue on anyway “i was thinking we could hit up the wilderness shop down the way they have guns and stuff good place to loot” sam nods her head “yeah and for the way there i’ve got some climbing gear like picks and stuff” you cock your head to the side “how do i literally live with you and not know we both climb?” her head shoots up “your my sister in law and i don’t know you climb?” excitement lacing her tone “whoa hold your horses im not your sister in law yet” tara gives you another unamused look as sam goes to grab her gear “what do you wanna get married” anika pipes up “i can officiate, chad can be the flower girl” mindy laughs at the statement elbowing her brother in the side “why cant i be a flower girl” liv frowns “because your gonna be the ring bearer” “ethan’s definitely gonna be my best man” ethan’s head shoots up at your words a grin on his face “minds your my maid of honour and sam you can walk me down the isle” “deal” sam agrees having only heard the last end of the conversation.
you grab 2 picks from sam and throw one to chad “let me get out of my pjs and we can go” the light atmosphere turns thick the weight of what’s about to happen, you lean against the door and rest your hands on your knees in out, in, out everything’s ok it’s all gonna be ok you take a shaky breath standing tall, your ashamed to say you jump when you hear 3 soft knocks on the door tara’s head peers in “baby” she breathes and it’s unnaturally soft, it makes you crumble tears cascade down your cheeks “oh, baby” she takes you in her arms “i’ll be waiting for you right here when you get back” she rubs your back softly “when did i become leader” you choke out voice muffled by her neck “i cant do it, why do they all look to me, im not enough” you let yourself cry on her shoulder till there’s nothing left to cry tara whispering sweet nothings in your ear until you pull yourself away turning to get dressed.
when you walk back into the living room dressed in black cargos white t and a light brown knitted jumper tying your hair up in a ponytail chad and sam are waiting shoes already on, you flop onto the sofa as tara brings you your combat boots you tug them off tying the laces tight. “you guys ready?” you look at the faces of the people around you “as i’ll ever be” chad mutters sam nods solemnly in acknowledgement, you stand and make your way to the front door slowly “ethan, liv i want you on door duty, tara mindy i want you on watch” you strain as you move the dresser from the front door you step back and grab your pick as sam unbolts and swings the door open slowly surveying our surroundings “y/n” you turn at the sound of her voice and she presses a soft kiss to your lips your heart flutters at the action “come home, be safe” you allow chad and liv to have there moment before slinging your bag over your shoulders and taking the first steps out the door.
your hands are griping the pick so tight your knuckles are white as the 3 of you make your way down the street towards the hunting store, you’d never seen woodsbrough so deserted some bodys were laying on corners or in the street but you tried not to focus on them as you push on forward, you stifle a laugh as chad bumps into a lamppost while trying to look behind him “good job superman” he rubs his head and shoots you a glare “i don’t see you trying to watch our 6” sam bumps his shoulder “what is this? cod zombies? roger roger” you snort “that’s actually from starwars cod zombies kinda just screech like metal heads” you shudder at the thought “bookie” before anyone can call you a nerd for your starwars comment someone barrels into you knocking you to the floor, you let out a grunt as the person lands an elbow into your stomach effectively winding you “SHIT y/n, fuck i didn’t know it was you im so sorry” the girl stands quickly pulling you to your feet with her.
you stumble into the wall hands falling to your knees pick long forgotten as you suck air in threw your teeth winded for the second time this week it feels like there’s a running theme here. then you look up at your assailant and any air you’d managed to scrape into your lungs was knocked out of you again, amber. my amber, our amber. you blink up at her eyes wild, she was your and tara’s ex of a few months her parents had forced her hand as it “wasn’t normal” or whatever, your thoughts are interrupted as she throws herself into you “tara?” it’s a question you wrap your arms around her “safe, you hurt” you pull away quickly inspecting her “n-“ she’s cut off by chad letting out a yell, you see the brute before she does and you shove her aside diving for your pick in the road, he’s big. easily 6’4 and built he used to be in the biker gang but his leather jacket hangs off him in tatters sam swings her arm back and gets him right in the chest definitely breaking a few ribs by the sound of it she tries to pull her weapon out but it’s stuck he lets out a groan and swings her to the side following quickly as she tumbles to the floor, you make your move while he’s distracted hitting him in the back of the skull, he goes down but you don’t stop 1, 2, 3 hit after hit to his head, brains are smushed onto the pavement and your sprayed with blood as you feel hands on your waist pulling you back “he’s done he’s gone it’s ok” you breath again looking for sam thankfully she’s ok.
the 4 of you make it to the hunters shop with no further incidents sam opens the door for you nodding as you pass by her ok definitely not shaking the title of leader anytime soon better embrace it your eyes land on a hunting knife 7 inches long, Damascus steel with a leather bound hilt you pick it up and it fits your hand like it’s made for you, you smile as you clip it to your belt turning to the pistol rack to choose your gun, gotta pick something iconic you see a revolver not too dissimilar to the one rick in the walking dead has bingo. you silently thank your dad for the shooting lessons he gave you as a young teen clipping the holster to your belt you chuck all the guns and amo in your bag as you can then the gleam of metal catches your eye.
oh, now that, that is iconic overkill? sure but who’s gonna miss out on the chance to carry round a fucking sword you grin as you pick up the roman style sword “really?” you look up to see amber stood with a familiar glint of adoration in her eyes “you telling me i don’t look badass right now freeman?” you smirk as you situate the sword on your hip “im from the fucking roman times, unkillable if you will” she chuckles to herself “you dork” “yeah yeah whatever” she’s armed with a baseball bat and a shotgun good decision. you take a look at everyone, chad is playing with nunchucks and sam is stuffing knifes into her bag “it’s getting dark out, we need to head back ambs you coming with” you wince at the hopefulness in your voice “tar won’t want you out here alone” sam shoots you a knowing look and your eyes fall to the floor “yes. i’ve been in my house alone i was terrified” a pang of sympathy shoots threw you “your safe now, i promise” she holds out her pinky and you interlock it with yours “always?” “always”
oh fuck me. this is going to be the death of me.
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nct-lian · 3 years
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nct 127’s relation to lian
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TAEIL + LIAN: IL-LI
taeil used to wake her up for school when she was still a teenager :((
such a soft but overlooked duo
will appreciate each other forever and ever
lian teaches him roasts in english that he can say to johnny
remain each other’s hype man and woman
taeil was the first to suggest he and the other nct members react to the trailers of her dramas on video so they can boost them in popularity
promotes the HELL out of lian’s solo career over twitter
lian loves coming up behind him and just giving him hugs because he’s soft (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞
they watch movies together a lot! but taeil has to come down to the fifth floor because lian hates it up on the tenth one
he was once able to grab her hand in an airport and they held hands the entire time :(( a few pictures went a little viral
they share hoodies NSHDHSHCJA
lian keeps bugging him to get an instagram
taeil will ALWAYS take her side in silly arguments she and the other members have sometimes
he makes fun of her height because she’s shorter than him-
he also used to help her with her homework :(
cried when lian went on her first date
“my child is growing up (´∩`。)”
had to do a background check on the guy before he even allowed him to come in contact with her again, though
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JOHNNY + LIAN: JOANN
johnny is her dad, period
no questions asked he is her father
will give her piggyback rides all the time
he was once woken up by her jumping on his bed and asking if they could go shopping
at 6:00 am
he actually got up, got ready and took her shopping but since it was so early, the stores were all closed
he took her out for japanese fluffy pancakes, though!
whenever lian is sick, johnny makes her his mom’s homemade chicken noodle soup recipe :((
speaking of johnny’s mom, she loves lian to death and always asks johnny if he’s taking good care of her
if they’re not being asked any questions or having to translate anything during interviews, they always whisper jokes in each other’s ears to try and make the other one laugh
because of how lian dies during the trailer of her new drama, johnny cried in front of twenty-two other men while they reacted to it
he was NOT embarrassed
“how are you guys not crying? this is so sad. what a cruel world we live in ໒( ˵ •̀ □ •́ ˵ )७”
kept screaming at lian’s “dream of you” performance video
“WHY ARE YOU ON THE GROUND DANCING LIKE THAT?!” “JISUNG COVER YOUR EYES-“
he once effortlessly picked up lian and moved her somewhere else because she wasn’t standing where she was supposed to be
everyone says that their ship name is something a white, suburban mom would be named. now nctzens pronounce joann like “joanne” ・x・
it was said on the zach sang show that johnny used to measure her height every month to see if she grows or not, and that’s the only reason why he has her height memorized
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TAEYONG + LIAN: LIYONG
has lost lian in so many airports it’s not even funny
“hyung, what happened to lian?” “oh, you have GOT to be kidding me-“
whenever he doesn’t see her he goes into panic mode and starts asking if anyone has seen his little sister
“about this tall with really shiny hair? her cheekbones are insane, i swear. OH OH OH SHE WAS WEARING JOHNNY’S HOODIE- you don’t know what johnny’s hoodie looks like.. okay, well thank you for your help.”
one of the first members that she was comfortable with
lian said that he was her role model :’(
as the leader, he’s always taking care of her and will not sleep until he knows for sure she’s eaten
because of how lian never participated in any of nct’s first bit of promotions due to being too uncomfortable around them, she was allowed to skip out on the viewings of their relay video letters
but she was still required to make one for somebody and that somebody was taeyong ˵ ຈ ︿ ຈ ˵
she said that she was glad he was her leader and that she hoped to become closer one day
he cried
declares that he will take care of lian till the day he dies
taeyong had yelled at lian’s former manager until he voluntarily quit working for her- he had found out that lian was being overworked to the point where she collapsed during their dance practice and he wasn’t okay with it
always cheering her on backstage when she performs solo
he always tries to include her in guiding the members for their dances because he knows how happy it makes her
instead of having her carry her glasses around with her, he does it instead :D
“nana, do you have to wear your glasses now?”
taeyong tucks her into bed every night he can ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ
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YUTA + LIAN: YUN
totally doesn’t have feeling for her, yeah
yuta is obsessed and when i tell you he’s obsessed, he’s obsessed
did i mention obsessed?
he’s jealous of everyone :(
yun stans insist that the only reason yuta is so touchy with winwin and mark is because he’s trying to cover up his feelings for lian
bye if that’s true-
hyuck wanted to give her a hug (a rare occurrence) and yuta straight up just said,
“mine. go away”
i have proof guys :// johnny recorded it and literally posted it on instagram
lian died internally when yuta cut his long hair because she couldn’t put it into ponytails anymore :((
but his hair is growing back now so she’s able to do it again :)
yuta teaches her japanese every tuesday and thursday!
we don’t bring this up because it’s pretty embarrassing but,, when nct 127 were backstage before performing kick it, yuta asked doyoung (who was in a direction where he could get a clear view of lian’s face) if lian was staring at him
how do we know this, you may ask?
it was caught on camera and everyone made fun of him for a solid week straight
he’s caught staring at her from afar way too often for comfort
lian says that he’s very pretty
much like the other memebers that have instagram, he makes story countdowns that he posts about a week before lian plans to release her solo music
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DOYOUNG + LIAN: LIDO
another member of the lian protection squad
doyoung was the first to start calling her cupcake
it all started when doyoung was sick and lian made him cupcakes to make him feel better
will slap anyone who makes a flirty remark towards lian
was embarrassed for yuta when he asked if she was staring at him
said “no” and walked away
lian is the only one who ever shows him any mercy :’)
they have very similar taste in decor so they often go shopping together for things to put around the dorm
doyoung said that he spends the most time in lian’s room because it smells like vanilla all the time
he spoils her SO MUCH
like so much
half the plushies she owns at the moment were gifts from doyoung
has a tendency to watch over her and make sure she’s content at all times
“cupcake, are you hungry? i can make you some food if you’d like” “oppa, it’s 3:00am-“ “and?”
they take such pretty instagram pictures :((
at one point in time, doyoung was jealous of his older brother because lian used to crush on him a tiny bit :0
not because doyoung likes her or anything, she just couldn’t stop talking about how nice he looked in revolutionary love
disapproves of the staff giving lian such short clothing sometimes
“um, excuse me, she can’t wear that. are you crazy? go get her a new outfit, please”
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JAEHYUN + LIAN: JAELI
not many people bring this up because we know it’s honestly a sensitive topic :|
but he lowkey has deep feelings for her (he makes it so obvious sometimes it’s kinda disappointing to see how oblivious lian really is to it)
jaeli + yun love triangle anyways
jokes aside, though, jaehyun loves lian so so much
once cried to johnny about how he doesn’t know what to do and that he didn’t want to make anything awkward by confessing to her
makes sure to be near her as often as possible
once scared away a whole kim taehyung from talking to her during isac ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯ (let’s pretend bts were there for 2019 pls)
“jungkook, keep your friend away, please :D”
didn’t work, though, because they ended up having a conversation later in the day either way
*in the 97’ liner groupchat* “HYUNG IM SORRY HE RAN AWAY I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DOl
it was uncalled for but what can you do amirite ┐(´~`)┌
lian pokes his dimples a lot and squishes his cheeks
just randomly hugs him but he’s not complaining
johnny isn’t picking sides but he became team jaeli after jaehyun broke into tears in front of him for the first time since they were trainees about how much he loves lian
sad,, i know
lian judges jaehyun for not sleeping with sheets
continues to believe he is not a human being, but a robot created in a lab
jaehyun smiles at her for no reason
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JUNGWOO + LIAN: LIWOO
an instant bond formed between them when they first met!
jungwoo learned a lot about her and has developed so many ways to deal with her anxiety :(
gave the staff a guide on how to keep her calm when he went on hiatus because he couldn’t be there with her
buys her colouring books because he knows that they calm her down well!
liwoo went viral and become a popular ship when lian accidentally changed the nct 127 instagram profile picture to a jungwoo icon
she got scolded but it was iconic orange haired jungwoo with a chain-
an untouchable duo when they do double aegyo
nctzens think jungwoo is her favourite member
maybe because lian said he was
“ “who’s your favourite member?” hmm i’ll have to say woo-oppa!”
*cue jungwoo laughing at yuta’s face because he was that shocked*
they share secrets with each other so now they probably know the other like the palm of their hand
even though he’s off his hiatus, he still has to guide the staff members through lian’s little moments because sm staff suck at their job sometimes
they’re the two members who go grocery shopping together
more like jungwoo dragging lian to the grocery store with him but okay
jungwoo loves kissing her cheeks (〃▽〃)
their vocals mixed together are confirmed to be noises from heaven
lian misses his blonde bowl cut :/
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MARK + LIAN: LIMARK
leader of lian’s natural length hair committee
like when i tell you mark hates her extensions-
mark was the first friend lian was able to make in nct!
they bonded over canada and it was very rare to see them speaking in korean
mark goes into straight panic when he’s with her sometimes
has to remind himself they’re like siblings
lian ans mark covered “your eyes” by hoody and jay park during a vlive!
it was adorable :((
lian had him saved in her phone as “android user” but now she doesn’t know what to change it to
they had a fight in 2019
mark let’s her call him the weirdest freaking nicknames ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ノ
mars bar, markie, mork, marko
AND IN RETURN HE CALLS HER MARIJUANA-
he says it’s because czennies consider her to be addicting and since marijuana is addicting as well he thought it’d be a good fit
someone on twitter absolutely ENDED HIM though and wouldn’t stop making fun of him (;⌣̀_⌣́)
they can read each other’s mind just by looking at each other
“dude i hate this shit why does she keep asking us who we wanna collab with?” *cue lian laughing hysterically*
“what’s so funny (゜-゜)” — interviewer
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HAECHAN + LIAN: LIHYUCK
haechan makes fun of her kissing scenes in dramas
calls her short all the time
“lian give me a high five- oh haha nevermind it’s too bad you’re so short”
they’ve actually been so close to fighting each other and i’m not even joking
they’re the two members who fight the most out of all of them
but despite this, they love each other very much
hyuck says he’s the only one who’s allowed to make her mad
and if anyone else makes her mad he’d kill them
limark 2019 fight flashbacks where haechan kept threatening mark
there are actually moments when they’re clingy with each other-
haechan loves her hugs :((
like ??????? one minute they’re at each other’s throats and the next, they’re all lovey dovey hugging each other make it make sense ?????
lian could be speaking english and he’d say, “korean, please. i can’t understand canadian”
“shut up <3”
hello haechan cried and wouldn’t let go of her during her and mark’s graduation ceremony in 2018
she makes fun of him for it but never takes it too far
he goes to her for dance advice
during their nct 2018 weekly idol appearance when they were doing the random kpop dance thing, they beat everyone أ‿أ
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freddieslater · 3 years
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could i be sending this on instagram? yes. am i sending it on here anyway for fun? also yes
currently on the season 5 finale and wow i forgot how much i hate the dumblebys. i’ve never wanted to murder a fictional character more. it’s bloody annoying that that shit goes on in real life too. fuck capitalism
tee implying candi-rose reminds her of carmen? iconic. those two deserved more screen time together… actually i really hope that the finale of this show, whenever it eventually ends, features every kid who ever lived in the dg since at least the start of tbr, plus mike, tracy, cam… everyone. if the finale is just 2 full hours of everyone swapping stories and reminiscing i will be happy
ok but actually i’m very upset about mission totally possible, i’d missed it in previous rewatches so my dumb ass watched that mindfuck of an episode for the first time ever at 2am and i think i lost braincells from it
honestly most of the latter half of s5 is very disorienting and oddly done. did anything between the wardrobe and where you belong even happen. i mean i know most of it did because charlie moved in but the tone is so odd and wrong. i’m very confused
i forget how much i love adult elektra, in both s5 and s8 she is i c o n i c. she really just said fuck the system huh. and got frank involved? beautiful.
the amount of scheming occurring this episode is absolutely astounding. i’m amazed liam isn’t involved
ryan being protective over all the younger kids is my new religion thank you and goodbye. you can just tell he would’ve been such a good brother to chloe if things had gone differently
floss may be a capitalist but apparently she’s also a feminist, honestly i can’t wait to see what she does when she leaves the dg (that’ll only be in a few years?? mad. she joined this show when she was six)
alex really thought he can steal roman relics from a museum alone, with about an hour of planning and wearing distinct clothes? fool. he could never get away with a heist as clean as the money one, im amazed anyone fell for dumbleby’s lie
wait hold on. why can’t they just move from house to house like they did from elm tree to ashdene?? that seems like b i g plot hole
oh god oh fuck i’m on season 6 oh no
I'm happy you're still sending your rambles on here because it means we get to force other people to see TDG content.
The dumbleby's really are some of the worst characters in TDG. Not badly written, but written well enough to make us despise them. And yeah, it really does suck that this is just real life, like, people fully will not care about disrupting these kids lives and giving them further trauma just to make some money.
I was so happy that Tee implied Candi-Rose reminds her of Carmen because they really are quite similar! You are galaxy-brained, that is exactly the finale we need. I don't even want a plot. I want raw emotion of all of these characters reminiscing and giving the actors a chance to show their love for each other and the show through their characters. I want to see characters that just missed each other finally interact. The older ones from the very start marvelling over how big the little ones who were there at their time now are, and how they've taken over their roles to the younger ones. I even want, if possible, a few cameos from TSOTB characters, specifically Crash, Jackie, Justine, and most unlikely, Ben. The finale better at least be more than a half hour, because I will never be satisfied with that.
I will give you that, mission totally impossible was... weird. I mean, it's one of my favourite episodes because it's mostly Jody centric, and has Jody/Tyler AND Ryan/Tyler content, so I really can't complain about that. But the actual plot was.... something else.
On that note, I really do not like most of season 5. Like you said, it's disorienting, all of the episodes feel like fillers but not in a good way - especially the wardrobe episode, I hate that one specifically with a passion because it's just so weird and feels completely wrong from the tone of the rest of the show. Season 5 was not one of their better seasons. Glad they've moved away from whatever they were trying to do there.
Adult Elektra! Iconic really is the only word to describe her. She's the same but more mature, with a better sense of what she wants and what she's doing, and a bit more responsibility, and I really love that look on her. And yes, her getting Frank involved was the cherry on top; she really can't stop roping him into her schemes, just like her first episode. I desperately wanted Liam to be involved in those episodes because he would have been a very useful and welcome addition to the scheme team, and he was still living with Frank, as far as I'm aware? We deserved adult Elektra/Frank/Liam team up. We need the scheme team back together!!
Ryan is my villain origin story and it's only strengthened when he interacts with the younger ones. That boy would have been the best big brother.
Floss being a feminist does make sense to me. And I love that for her! It's about the only thing I do love for her lmoafkajsksjhd but yeah, I actually kinda do wanna know what she plans to do when she leaves the dg, because we haven't heard much about that? She had an interest in dance and acting and some other things, and she's been quite determined recently to do whatever she can to make money, so I definitely see her being an entrepreneur of some sort. Either that or the scariest business woman alive.
Look, Alex is trying his best, okay? That boy has about two brain cells. And that's being generous. But I love his effort, at least. No thought and no plan, but A+ for effort.
Honestly, that is a big plot hole. The change in building from Elm Tree to Ashdene Ridge in general is a bit of a plot hole because they never actually discuss it within the show? Obviously at the wedding, Tracy says she knew the old one better, which at least kind of acknowledges that it's definitely not the same house, but it's so weird that they never even tried to explain within the show why they had to move and change the name. So, the fact that they made a big deal of possibly having to move building this time was definitely odd. Like... we KNOW they've already done it. They COULD do it again, potentially, if they had the money or whatever they need. I think the plot was just for the Drama and the Angst of nearly being separated, which I can appreciate, at least.
Oh no. Good luck to you, season 6 will destroy you again. It always kills me. That's why it's one of my favourites.
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i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut
-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago
-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday
-neil cicierega real person momence
-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here
-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson
-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that
-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me
-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times
-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album
-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil
-seesaw effect
-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on
-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange
-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like
-"this part sounds pretty cool right"
-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that
-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on
-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time
-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!
-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know
-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro
(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)
-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.
-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised
-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright
-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway
-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation
-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest
-good god that does only make it worse neil
-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever
-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget
-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this
-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one
-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud
-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that
-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop
-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now
-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above
-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.
-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3
-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3
-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that
-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon
-jirls
-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man
-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album
-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care
-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time
-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way
-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird
-iron my life?
-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up
-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least
-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)
-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder
-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega
-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3
-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean
-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about
-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president
-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon
-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album
-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better
-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil
-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it
-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely
-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience
-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.
-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work
-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)
-spinch
-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil
-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!
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robinrunsfiction · 4 years
Text
A Long Way Home - Part 2
Part 1
Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~7900 total, about ~4450 in part 2 (minus the song lyrics used) Author’s Note: The song featured is Audience of One by Rise Against, it can be found in the playlist, here. I hope you enjoy the conclusion to the story!
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As the tour rolled on, (YN) started to wonder if maybe there was a chance that the crazy commenters online were right about the possibility of her and Gerard being something.
It seemed like he always made time to see them perform now, and talked to her when he got the chance. It was never overtly flirtatious, but she couldn't help but wonder and hope that he was trying to get closer to her.
Unfortunately the tour had reached the halfway point and that meant saying goodbye to Taking Back Sunday. (YN) felt so thankful that she could now count Adam, John, Shawn and Mark among her friends.
Now Crystal Lake Cemetery had joined the tour and the overall vibe shifted. There had been such a welcoming camaraderie at first, but the new band didn't seem to want much to do with anyone else, returning to their own bus after their set was done. Rebecca and Jake took their lead, leaving Liam and (YN) to hang out with My Chem whenever the opportunity presented itself.
Now it was finally one of the rare days where there was enough time between shows to get a night in a hotel. Everyone appreciated the chance to get a decent shower and sleep in a real bed.
Everyone except (YN). She found herself on a couch in the hotel lobby after going out for dinner and drinks with Liam. He had started chatting with a guy, and ended up bringing him back to the hotel. All she could do now was wait for him to let her know it was ok to come back to the room and scroll through social media.
Up in his room, Gerard was doing the same when he noticed the square icon at the top of his phone. He smiled to himself when he saw that it was a notification that (YN) had updated her story.  He opened it up and saw it was a selfie of her pouting dramatically. With the caption "i havent been sexiled from a room since that semester i went to college 😫"
‘Where are you?’
The DM from Gerard surprised (YN), not only because he saw her post, but how quickly after posting it he responded.
‘Lobby. Liam brought a guy back, so I'm waiting for the all clear to go back up.’
‘Wanna hang out in my room?’
(YN) felt her heart rate shoot up. ‘Sure’ she replied as casually as she could with shaking fingers.
‘529′ he replied moments later and she jumped up, hurrying to the elevator. The ride up felt like it was moving painfully slow. She tried to keep her pace casual as she walked down the hall and smiled at Luke and Will, two of the members of Crystal Lake Cemetery who were talking in the doorway of the room across the hall, before knocking on Gerard's door.
“Hey,” he greeted her with a smile and she tried to keep from letting her knees go weak.
“Hey, thanks for inviting me up. I was getting kinda bored in the lobby,” she laughed as she walked in.
“Of course. Umm, wanna watch a movie?" Gerard asked as he made his way over to the couch.
"Sure, whatever's on," (YN) replied as she sat down next to him. She couldn’t help but wonder who designed the layout of the room with the couch not actually facing the tv as she found herself sitting sideways.
"Looks like The Martian is about to start, have you seen it?"
"Once when I was in a hotel room in Rochester, but I had taken so many cold meds that day, I'm pretty sure I thought I was a martian," she laughed. "I was so sick that tour. I hate when they schedule shows in the winter."
“I agree, those are always kinda miserable, seems like everything is always cold and wet. Oh, do you wanna stretch out?” He asked when he noticed how she was shifting uncomfortably.
“Sure,” she laughed a little nervously as she stretched her legs out over his lap. It wasn’t much later that her eyelids began to grow heavy and the next thing she knew, she was waking up as the end credits were playing, and her head was against Gerard's shoulder. Then she realized his arm was around her, his other hand on her shin, rubbing small circles, almost absentmindedly. "I guess I'm never gonna see this movie," she mumbled, feeling a little awkward.
"That's too bad, it was pretty good," Gerard laughed.
(YN) picked up her phone from where it had slid to the floor and saw that Liam still hadn't messaged her. "Damn dude," she muttered.
"Hmm?"
"Oh, Liam still hasn't given me the all clear. I guess him and this guy really hit it off.”
"How are things with the other two? They never seem to be around much."
"Weird. I dunno, something is going on and no one is talking about it. Well no, they're talking about it, but not to us. Liam overheard Rebecca telling Jake that I’m selfish and I care more about the band as a concept than as four people making music together," she sighed. "And I do see it now that it's been pointed out."
Gerard shook his head. "I get it, I was the same way the first time round. I wanted everything to be the way I envisioned it in my head, I had that goal that I was working toward and that was all I was focused on. Though, for what it's worth, I think you're pretty great."
"Stop," she replied, covering her face with her hands to hide the fact that she was blushing.
"I'm not kidding," he said tugging at her wrists. When she looked up, he was smiling softly at her.
She shook her head. "Anyway, can I crash on your couch tonight? I'm not sure the staff would appreciate a rock star sleeping in the lobby."
"You take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch," Gerard replied.
"Gee, no, I'm the one who is invading your space!" She said getting up.
"I invited you," he replied, getting up as well.
"Share?" The word tumbled out of her mouth before she could even realize what she said.
Gerard looked a little caught off guard. “Oh, umm, yea-”
“I’m sorry, you don’t have to. Again, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“No, (YN), it’s fine,” he shook his head. “Please don’t worry, we can share.”
She nodded. “Ok, fine.”
~
The next morning she woke up and Gerard was still sleeping peacefully next to her. That was a sight she felt like she could really get used to and had to restrain herself from reaching out and brushing the hair from his face. He looked so peaceful and it warmed her heart. She rolled over and checked her almost dead phone, and found Liam had finally messaged her.
‘Ok, you can come back now’
‘Yooooooooooooo where are you i wanna talk to you come back’
‘For real text me back, i’m getting worried, if ur dead an its my fault im gonna be so mad at you’
She tried not to laugh out loud and wake Gerard. ‘I’m fine, found another room to crash in, we’ll talk soon 😁’
“Hey,” Gerard mumbled sleepily next to her.
“Hi. Thanks for letting me stay here last night,” she said as she rolled over and smiled at him.
“Anytime. I really like hanging out with you (YN).”
“Same. We should do it more often," she offered with a shrug.
"I'd love that," he replied softly.
"I should get going, Liam sent me about 100 texts," she said shaking her head. She got up and gathered the few things she had brought with her to Gerard's room. "Thanks again," she said. She didn't realize what she was doing when she held her arms out for a hug.
He smiled and got up and wrapped his arms around her. Her heart was pounding so hard she worried he would notice, but he was so warm and smelled good, she quickly forgot her worried.
Eventually she pulled back, and gave him a wave before heading out. When she opened the door, she noticed the door across the hall quickly close. She shook her head in confusion as she headed back to her room.
~
From that day on, things began to get strange. Garden of Woe's gear and wardrobe carts were moved into different rooms, their dinner orders were cancelled, and at a soundcheck Liam and Rebecca both found their instruments wildly out of tune, despite the guitar tech claiming he had tuned them before any of the bands came in.
“It feels like someone is fucking with us,” Liam said shaking his head as he and (YN) hung out with My Chem’s in their dressing room.
“The only thing that’s different is Crystal Lake Cemetery is here now,” Mikey said cautiously.
“Why would they be messing with us though? Are they hazing us?” (YN) asked. “I’ve never experienced anything like this, and we aren’t close enough to them for this to be okay.”
“I’m gonna have the tour manager talk to them, it’s not right that this is happening to you,” Gerard said from his spot next to (YN).
“Thanks,” (YN) smiled up at him appreciatively.
“Of course,” he replied looking back at her fondly. They were again oblivious to the looks being exchanged by their friends around them.
The talk must have worked, as nothing further was done to mess with the bands stuff, but what (YN) didn’t know was how the rumor mill was now working overtime.
~
“I can’t deal with this, I fucking can’t deal with this. Fuck this, fuck you, I can’t believe it,” (YN) snapped before rushing out of the dressing room. Tears stung at her eyes, blurring her vision so she couldn’t see who she ran into. "Fuck, sorry."
“Woah, (YN) what’s wrong?” She heard Gerard ask. She just shook her head in response and looked up at the ceiling, trying in vain to keep the tears in place. She felt Gerard taking her arm and leading her into another dressing room for privacy. But as soon as the door was shut behind them, she couldn’t hold it in anymore.
"It's over, it's all over," (YN) sobbed.
"What is? What's going on?" Gerard asked, concerned, rubbing her arms.
"Rebecca and Jake are leaving the band at the end of the tour."
"What?! Why?"
"They're gonna go have a kid and be a family and leave us behind," she wailed, the tears coming harder again. Gerard pulled her in tight and let her cry on his shoulder.
(YN) had no sense of how long she had been crying when she finally felt herself calming down and her tears slowing. "I'm so so sorry. You don't need to be bothered by my stupid problems. You're like the most important person here and I'm nobody. I’m nobody with no band anymore," (YN) said pulling back and wiping her eyes. She was thankful she hadn't put on her stage makeup yet, or his olive jacket would have been ruined.
Gerard shook his head, his eyes soft and full of sadness for her. "No, you’re important to me. And yea your band is gonna change, but you’re so talented, so is Liam, you're gonna do amazing things.”
“You think?” she asked looking up at him and he nodded. “Thank you for helping me calm down.”
“Anytime.”
She realized his hands had settled on her waist, and she looked back up at him as she clung to his jacket, to find he was still smiling down at her softly. This was the dream for her. Well, not the part where she found out half her band was leaving, but being held by Gerard Way while on tour together. The fan fic was practically writing itself in her mind until she felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket.
“Ugh, I gotta go deal with this,” she replied when she saw the text messages rolling in from Clark in all capital letters with many expletives and exclamation marks.
~
Garden of Woe's show that night was not their best, but no one spoke of it, mainly due to none of the band members speaking to each other at all. The bus ride to the next town was silent and when they arrived, Liam and (YN) found a private place to talk about the situation alone.
"I can learn drums, and play and sing like Don Henley. Or we could call Dallon and Ryan and see if they wanna form a supergroup? I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND Garden of Woe?" (YN) suggested.
"Genius," Liam laughed. "But (YN), we're gonna be fine. We'll figure this out as we go along. Well take a break and maybe they'll even change their minds."
"Jake maybe, but I doubt Rebecca will. She's been on edge for a long time, I just don't know if this life was ever for her. Maybe she's doing exactly what she needs to."
"What was it she called you?" Liam smirked.
"Scene whore," (YN) laughed darkly as she shook her head.
"Yea, that was something else.”
"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I got my call with my therapist in five minutes."
"You doing ok?" Liam asked, concern crossing his face.
"This whole situation just reminded me a lot of what my mom did. Bailing on us to form a new family and all that."
Liam nodded thoughtfully, remembering how betrayed (YN) had felt when her mom left. "I get it," he replied as (YN) got up. "But hey."
"What?" (YN) stopped in her tracks.
"Remember what got you through back then?"
A smile fought its way across (YN)'s face. "Listening to hours and hours of My Chemical Romance?" Liam shrugged with a smug smile. "I'll give it a shot," (YN) laughed.
That night as she stood off stage (YN) felt like she was going to puke. The crowd was already so loud and the lights hadn’t even gone down yet.
“Ready?” Liam asked.
“Not at all,” she shook her head. “But fuck it, let’s go.”
The duo walked out on stage, where two stools and microphones were set up, a spotlight shining down. “What’s up California?!” (YN) shouted and the crowd cheered. “We are half of Garden of Woe, unfortunately Rebecca and Jake are both feeling under the weather tonight, so we’re gonna do a short acoustic set for you and then Crystal Lake Cemetery is gonna be out here to do an extra long set to get you hyped up for My Chemical Romance!”
The crowd cheered, albeit less enthusiastically than before. (YN) felt like shit lying to the audience like that, but Rebecca and Jake couldn’t be convinced to come off the bus, and it was either they do a modified set, or give up their time on stage altogether. The duo started with a couple of their best songs that sounded good while being played acoustically.
“Ok, we have one more song for you, it’s a cover of a song that means a lot to me by Rise Against. It’s called Audience of One. Thanks again guys you’ve been amazing,” (YN) said and Liam started playing. (YN) knew that it would take a miracle to make it through the song without breaking down.
I can still remember The words and what they meant As we etched them with our fingers In years of wet cement The days blurred into each other Though everything seemed clear We cruised along at half speed But then we shifted gears We ran like vampires from a thousand burning suns But even then we should have stayed But we ran away Now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? Identities assume us As nine and five add up Synchronizing watches To the seconds that we lost I looked up and saw you I know that you saw me We froze but for a moment In empathy I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug You gave my emptiness a name Then you ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? We're all okay, until the day we're not The surface shines, while the inside rots We raced the sunset and we almost won We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on We ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone?
The tears streamed down (YN)’s face as she finished singing. She didn’t know if the crowd could see it or not, and she didn’t know if she cared either way. She waved with Liam at the crowd and retreated off the stage. As soon as they were out of sight, he wrapped her in a tight hug and she cried against his shoulder.
After calming down and washing her face, (YN) and Liam went out to the merch booth to sign for fans but not many turned up. As they headed back through the corridors of the venue, they spotted Clark heading toward them.
"If it isn't my favorite PR nightmare," Clark said, annoyance clear in his voice.
(YN) and Liam looked at each other. “Oooh, Liam’s in trouble,” (YN) sing-songed with a smirk.
“Not him.”
"Wait what did I do?" (YN) asked, eyes going wide, as Liam snickered.
“In here,” Clark said, nodding toward the dressing room door, shutting it behind them. "When did you start hooking up with Gerard?"
"What?! We haven't done anything, where did you hear that?!"
"Apparently just about everyone else on the tour is talking about it. They’re saying you've spent  nights with him, you’ve been spotted ducking into abandoned dressing rooms with him."
"Well yea, I mean I stayed over in his room when Liam was hooking up with that guy in Texas, but we just hung out! And the dressing room thing, I don't even know when that would be other than that time I ran into him and he was comforting me when I was upset about Rebecca and Jake. Who would make something out of nothing?"
“People love starting rumors, especially about big names,” Clark shrugged. "If this gets out of just this bubble, people are gonna think-"
"Yea, yea, I know what people are gonna think," (YN) waved him off.
"We have enough problems coming up at the end of this tour, can you at least make sure this isn’t one of them?" Clark sighed before leaving the room.
Liam let out a long sigh as well. "I'm sure he's making a big deal outta nothing, don't you think?"
(YN) didn't answer, she had her head in her hands, staring at the floor. "What if Gerard thinks I started those rumors? What if he never wants to hang out with me ever again because he thinks I read too much into when we've hung out and think there's more to our friendship than there is? Now even if we ever had a chance at something more, it's ruined."
~
The last few nights of the tour dragged by, but they were finally back in LA for the final four shows at the Forum. The bands were given the option of staying in a hotel near  the venue, but (YN) just wanted to go home. She was tired of going out of her way to avoid everyone, especially Gerard, and she wanted some peace and quiet, even if it meant dealing with traffic.
(YN) unlocked the door to her apartment and walked in, dumping her luggage just inside the door. She breathed in the stale air that filled the apartment from being closed up for two months. She felt like she was going to be taking on the world when she left, and now she was home feeling utterly defeated.
She wandered over into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was filled with nothing but condiments that were very possibly expired. She checked the pantry and found a stash of canned soup and spaghettios. She got a pot of spaghettios heated up before moving on to her laundry.
As she threw her clothes into the washer, she wondered what she’d wear to the show tonight. Did it matter? These were the last four shows that the band would be performing together and she had to pretend like everything was fine. Should she really live it up, or give up? (YN) trudged back to her kitchen and started eating her half warm lunch straight out of the pot. Was this what her life was about to become? Miserable and alone?
That night when she arrived at the venue she hid in the dressing room until sound check. She continued to avoid everyone except Liam until the show started. After, she went to sign for the fans and for the first time she didn’t hurry back to see My Chemical Romance play. Her heart broke as she heard the first notes. She wondered if Gerard noticed she wasn't there. She wondered if he was glad she wasn't bothering him anymore.
As she laid in her bed the morning of the last show, staring up at the ceiling, she couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She had barely slept the last few nights, her mind racing, and she felt like shit. She dragged herself out of bed and down to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee and staring at her still bare pantry, the last can of spaghettios staring back at her. She sighed, the feeling of defeat over everything hitting her harder than it had yet.
Her doorbell ringing made her jump, pulling her from her thoughts. For a second she considered not answering. But when it rang again she decided to check who was interrupting her self-pity fest.
"Gerard? What the hell are you doing here?" She asked when she opened the door. "And how do you know where I live?"
"Liam told me.”
"Has he told you my blood type and social security number as well?" She sneered, but held the door open for him to come in.
"I was worried about you, (YN)," he said softly, his eyes filled with worry.
"Gee," she started running her hands through her hair frustratedly. "How could you possibly care about me? I am useless damaged goods! I'm barely functional! I've been eating spaghettios for the last four days because I can't bring myself to go to the store. My band is about to break up, and meanwhile people think I fucked my way onto the tour of a lifetime. Everything is," her voice started to crack as she sank down on the couch. “This was supposed to be the best thing ever, and it was at first, but now it’s ruined and you should hate me.”
“Why?” He asked as he sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
“Don’t you think I started those rumors about us?” She looked up at him.
“No!” he replied. “God no, I know you better than that (YN). And I know those assholes from Crystal Lake Cemetery. Now I wish we never had to bring them along on this tour because it meant that I’ve had to spend time away from you these last few days.”
(YN) was dumbfounded. “Do, do you mean that?”
Gerard nodded. “Mikey told me like the second day of tour just to ask you out, but I didn’t think I’d have a chance in hell with you. And then I got to know you even better and I, I knew I was falling for you, but I still don’t believe you could feel the same way about me.”
“How could I not?” She asked, astonished.
“Because you’re this amazing up and coming star, you’re beautiful, and funny and could get any guy you could possibly want and I’m older than you, I got an ex that everyone knows and still brings up and a kid. Because I got this grey hair, and I look like this,” he said gesturing to his body as he looked down forlornly.
“Gerard, stop it,” (YN) snapped. “I will not tolerate you being so mean to someone I love.”
His head shot up, eyes wide. "(YN), do you mean that? Do you really want me?"
"More than you could ever know," she whispered, not breaking eye contact.
Gerard leaned in and kissed (YN) hard. She immediately responded by grabbing his jacket to pull him closer before reaching up to run her hand through his hair. His hands were on his waist as he leaned into her. She took the lead, pulling him back so he was laying over her on the couch. He deepened the kiss as she let him move his tongue against hers.
When they came up for air, Gerard brushed the hair out of her eyes and she laughed lightly. “I missed that sound,” he said quietly. “God, I love you (YN). Fuck what anyone says, I wanna be with you, if you’ll have me.”
“I thought that kiss made it pretty clear I do,” she laughed softly again and he blushed. “Because I love you too, everything about you.”
He leaned in and kissed her again. “Would you like to go get lunch before we gotta be at the venue?” He asked when he pulled back.
“I would love nothing more than to not eat another can of spaghettios and get lunch with you,” she laughed.
They grabbed lunch at one of Gerard’s favorite spots, finding a secluded corner where they could talk away from any fans who might just happen to stop in. (YN) had been spending so much time with Gerard before Clark told her about the rumors that she felt like they had so much to catch up on after just a few days apart.
“So how was this for a first date?” Gerard asked after they finished eating.
“Perfect,” (YN) nodded contentedly. Gerard was looking at her with a soft smile on his face. “What?” she laughed.
“I’m just really happy,” he said, taking her hand.
“For the first time in quite a while, I am too,” she agreed.
When Liam saw Gerard and (YN) walking into the venue together, he sighed in relief. “Hey guys,” he said tentatively. “Everything good?”
(YN) nodded. “Yea, we got it all sorted out,” she said glancing up at Gerard, who was smiling back at her.
“Good because tonight should be the best show of the tour, and I could not put up with any more of your moping (YN),” Liam laughed.
“Thank you for your support in my time of need,” (YN) rolled her eyes.
“Gerard, there you are, you’re on for soundcheck,” the very tired look tour manager called from down the hall.
“I’ll see you later,” he said leaning in and gave (YN) a quick kiss before heading down the hall.
“So when you said sorted out,” Liam started.
“We’re together,” she blushed.
“My god, your 16 year old self must be dying right now,” Liam laughed.
“Stop,” (YN) shook her head before heading back to their dressing room.
When Garden of Woe took the stage for the last time, everyone played well, and the crowd was going crazy, but (YN) was struggling to act as if nothing was wrong. Her heart felt heavy until she glanced to the side of the stage and saw Gerard leaning against a crate, giving her a nod and a smile, reminding her that everything would be okay.
“Are you ok?” Gerard asked, wrapping her in a hug after the band took their last bow.
“Yep. Things change, but I think everything has ended up exactly where it needs to be,” she nodded before leaning in to kiss him again.
54 notes · View notes
snkpolls · 3 years
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SnK Episode 65 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)
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The poll closed with 318 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!
Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.
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RATE THE EPISODE 309 Responses
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Overall the episode was a hit with viewers, with the majority ranking it a 4 or higher. Over half of all respondents rating it a solid 5. The hype is real!
I thought this was a great episode. A lot of hype moments and the CGI worked for me, for the most part. Looking forward to the next episode!
All around exceeded my expectations if mappa keeps this up this will go down as the best anime in history
Chef's KISS!!! 10/10 episode, i was extremely hyped the entire time. 
It was amazing and I hope MAPPA keeps up with the same quality for future episodes
Amazing episode really hype
I thought the voice acting was amazing! :)
Great episode, not perfect but neither was WIT. No adaptation is perfect. This was fantastic.
It was pretty good just maybe good have been done better but I’m just happy it was done at all.
I’ve lowered my expectations to rock bottom at this point
An enjoyable time.
I think it was great! I was very excited and left me wanting more tbh
It was a very good episode!! I'm so happy to see the survey corps again!
WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 310 Responses
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Mikasa’s reintroduction to the series takes the largest piece of the pie, with 31.6% enjoying the scene the most. In second comes the coordinated attack from the Survey Corps against Porco, with 14.8% feeling that scene really brings the hype. At 10.3%, Levi’s first appearance in the season takes 3rd place, and with 9.7% is the overall fight between Eren and the War Hammer Titan.
Ackermans ran this episode as they should. They're on a whole different level. 
Why isn't the Sasha-Gabi moment in the list of favourite moments? That's my actually favourite moment. Gabi seeing Sasha through the fire and smoke, Sasha's reflection in her eyes...chilling.
THE CGI CONTINUES TO BE A POINT OF CONTENTION. BE HONEST, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE EXECUTION OF CGI SO FAR THIS SEASON? 309 Responses
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In general, the fandom appears to be understanding of MAPPA’s usage of CGI, with 38.2% being completely unbothered by it, 20.1% feeling that while it’s not ideal, it could be much worse, and 18.8% not particularly caring for it but not faulting MAPPA for it either. A handful of people just wish that there would be more appreciation that it’s getting animated at all, while others continue to be a bit salty about the usage of CGI this season.
Did people forgot the god-awful Colossal titan's CGI from WIT? Well, I didn't so I wasn't surprised by the same level of CGI in Eren's scene (thankfully just one of them). I rarely have issue with CGI in SnK except for truly awful looking ones so like couple of times in the season, usually. 
I honestly wouldn't even know there's CGI if everyone wasn't complaining about it. I honest to god can't see where they use it.
It's mostly fine
I thought the war hammer titan looked AMAZING, the only CGI that looked odd was the scouts in the background, but that’s really it...?
A few sore spots (e.g. Erens titan looked kinda off this ep), but it's not season-ruining yet. 
CGI Titans >>>>>>>> CGI Survey Corps
It works fine for titans that already look somewhat mechanical (Armor, Jaw), but it looks incredibly awkward for the others, to the point of taking me out of the story. 
Sometimes great sometimes shit
Maybe I've been spoiled by studio orange and the previous seasons, but I know for a fact that they can do better. This is not a new anime, this is the final season of one of the greatest anime of all time, so yeah I expected much better CGI, it was poor and unecessary.
i think it’s gr8/unnoticeable,,,,,like we all put up with the colossal titan in s1-3 lmao
Some Titans like Eren and Beast look a little weird but I just really like how they made effort to make it blend with the art style. Maybe if they had found a way to cut the animation down to 12fps it might not look so bad? Anyways I think it’s good for what it is, MAPPA is doing their best!
I barely noticed it. The animation looks BOMB. Top 5 episodes of the whole series for me and BEST action episode of AOT easily.
I'm always going to prefer 2D but I understand why they're using it. Still sad about what could've been if they were given enough time to work on the season. Definitely going to lower my expectations.
My dumbass wouldn't even notice, I just want to see the pretty people
I think the CGI for the Titans is completely fine. It's the CGI for the Scouts that was a bit off putting for me. Still, not enough to ruin the episode. And if we continue to get animation of this standard I will be fine with it. 
At this point after episode 7 onward eventually AOT CGI is going to be worst than EX-arm's CGI 
I love it because it makes the titans scarier and more eerie? I also miss the 2D ones because they feel more natural. Overall, I think it's fine!
I think the CGi is well executed (for the most part), I just don't like that they had to use it so much.
It's a great job. They manage to execute it very well and go to a normal animation when it's needed. It doesn't bother me tbh
HOW WAS EREN’S ROOFTOP SWAN DIVE? 309 Responses
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Eren’s dive in the anime was a bit different than in the manga, but it seemed to get a few laughs out of the fandom, so we asked you all to rank it. 58.3% felt it was the most beautiful dive to have ever dived, while only 5.5% think Eren really needs to work on his form. He did his best.
WHICH RETURNING CHARACTER’S ENTRANCE WAS YOUR FAVORITE IN THIS EPISODE? 310 Responses
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Mikasa stole the show this episode, with 53.5% enjoying her entrance the most. Levi wasn’t too far behind though, with 29% of respondents hyped over his return. 11.6% were very happy to see Sasha again, while smaller chunks were glad to see Jean and Connie.
They massacred my Jean-boy’s entrance 🥲
WHICH RETURNING CHARACTER HAS THE BEST MAPPA-STYLE GLOW UP? 304 Responses
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We got a more colorful and evened out pie for this question. Overall the largest chunk, at 24.3%, are enjoying MAPPA’s take on Eren’s iconic “hobo chic” look. 21.1% think Sasha looks the best out of all of them, while Mikasa trails just behind her at 20.1%. 16.1% are grateful for Connie’s design, leaving 9.5% favoring Jean, and smaller handfuls appreciating MAPPA’s take on Levi and Floch.
Chubby Floch
Here I am watching the trailer all over again because that's probably the only way to see Jean animated handsome and with his actual manga face. MAPPA what happened?
Levi has a thicc ass
I’m a big fan of all the time skip character designs, it was hard to pick just one favourite :) 
Jean looked stupid... Floch too but that's not important.
OG characters designs feels a bit off to me. I understand why they use CG for some parts and I have mixed emotions about it. I hope they won't rely on it too much on the upcoming episodes.
#ITSTIMEMIKASA WAS TRENDING ON TWITTER BEFORE THE EPISODE AIRED. ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW MUCH DID IT LIVE UP TO THE HYPE? 304 Responses
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One of the most anticipated scenes of the Marley arc was the return of the Survey Corps and the way Mikasa paves the path for their reintroduction. The fandom appears to be very happy with MAPPA’s execution of the scene, with 60.9% of respondents rating it with a 5, with 27% rating it a 4. 
EEEEEEEEEEK MIKASA
Mikasa! Mikasa! Gosh love her!
im so glad mikasa is back owfejgrnrkdfs
MAPPA INCLUDED FILLER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE OF WILLY HESITANTLY DEPARTING FROM HIS TEARFUL FAMILY. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE ADDITION? 310 Responses
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The series isn’t known for having too much filler, but typically what filler does exist seems to be appreciated by the fandom, and this was no exception. 56.8% of respondents were happy for a little more fleshing out of Willy’s character (also learning that those kids were his!) and being able to sympathize more with him. 19.7% appreciated the more sympathetic addition until they remembered he was willing to throw Liberio under the bus for his plan. 13.5% are appreciative of any and all additional Willy content. A small amount didn’t like the filler and would rather have had MAPPA put their effort into other things. 
I liked it. Got to see more of his fine ass. lmao
Don't add extra 2d animation if You can't even handle what's in the manga
It would've been better to show before he was dead. Fleshing him out after the audience already know he's dead doesn't hit as much imo
Wasn't one of the scene itself, but then again I'm always interested in scenes I haven't seen yet.
I am so grateful, willy for is one of my favourites and omg we got to see his family and how is he a lovely papa 😭💕 I can't ask for more bless you MAPPA🤘
fuck them kids
Why should we feel bad for him? He tried to unite the world against Paradis. He got what he deserved.
this was a benefit. as manga readers, we had time to know willy. anime onlies will only ever have these 2-3 episodes and it was very humanizing
How is that possible that Tybur little kids in few seconds were louder nad more chaotic than THE WHOLE CITY DURING THE ATTACK??
It's very regrettable he left so many children fatherless because of what he chose to do. Really saddening..
I’d have rather seen more of the manga animated 
I knew why they added it, but I (personally) think willy is crud. Not mad it's there tho!
He did his duty as a Tybur to the very end. Honestly I wish he could have lived longer, he’s a really compelling and interesting character.
I feel like some viewers have carelessly misunderstood Willy because of that scene in the carriage. They're like 'wow, he really hates and shames his own people huh?' but at the beginning of the episode we all saw his abundance of children. Would it not have been extremely contradictory if he had truly wanted the extinction of all Eldians and then at the same time did the complete opposite by mass-reproducing a small army of Eldian children? Maybe that's why that scene was added to the start of the episode, to keep people away from mischaracterising him. Unfortunately, this may have simply been missed or overlooked by some. 
they should had polish the damn episode instead of fillers.
Loved it! Mappa is killing it with the episode additions 
Reading the manga, I truly didn't even consider the possibility that these were Willy's children because he is so obviously a ~*bachelor*~. Like, it didn't even cross my mind that those children weren't his little nieces and nephews because he is suuuuch a Theater Gay. Nothing can change my mind.
Wait a minute, are these the kids in that ending slide from season 3?
IN THE ORIGINAL CHAPTER 101, MAGATH IS THE ONE WHO ADVOCATES FOR KILLING EREN INSTEAD OF EATING HIM (IN CONTRAST TO HIS SUBORDINATE KOSLOW) AND NOTES THAT “THE AGE OF TITANS IS OVER.” IN THE ADAPTATION, MAGATH INSTEAD ADVOCATES FOR EATING EREN, NOTING THAT KILLING HIM WOULD ONLY PROLONG THE PROBLEM. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE CHANGE? 305 Responses
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A minor dialogue change didn’t seem to have much of an effect on nearly half of respondents, with 47.5% saying they’re indifferent to the change. 43.3% like the change much better, feeling that it works a lot better with future story developments and makes more sense. A handful didn’t care for the change and felt it tampered with Magath’s overall characterization. 
I think the change was logical and more consistent with the story, but I'm naturally skeptical of any AOT manga-to-anime change.
I forgot this.
It ovewrites the flaw of Magath's original plan. Even if I think its unfitting of him, it makes sense.
I'm not sure what I feel about it. Kinda like how they added Falco having a dream back in episode 1. For now, let's just see.
I suppose the new change is a little contradictory because Magath dislikes Marley’s reliance on Titan power and rather just wishes th ey had prowess in other ways. 
Realistically eating him makes more sense for them to eat Eren so they gain control of the Founder but I think Magath accepting the age of Titans is now done for is more in character.
It obviously makes more sense logistically, but I think it's important for Magath to stand opposed to Marley national policy on this front, like, symbolically.
BETWEEN UDO AND ZOFIA, WHO WOULD YOU HAVE LIKED TO SURVIVE TO RECEIVE MORE STORY IN THE MANGA? 304 Responses
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Though they are minor characters, the anime seems to have made some of the fandom a bit more fond of them. Still, 38.5% wouldn’t change anything about their fates, stating that they were necessary for Gabi to develop further as a character. 28% would rather neither of them died and are curious about how they would have developed if they lived to see another day. 23.7% say if they had to pick only one of them, it would be Udo due to his relevant commentary. A handful leaned toward Zofia, wishing they could have learned more about her. 
Udo. But at the same time Isayama can barely handle all the characters that are still alive so Udo probably wouldn't get a lot of screen time anyway.
Zofia. I didn't care about her while reading the manga, but in the anime she was more unique. I liked her stoic voice a lot. Zofia and Gabi should have switch the places. 
None cus i don't like Gabi
Both or neither. One would be just a third wheel to Gabi and Falco. I would love to see more of Udo and Zofia but I think their deaths were important
Udo and zofia's deaths hurt so bad. I didn't particularly care for either of them when reading the manga but i grown attracted to them in the anime. Udo's in particular breaks me. He was such a energic kid and he... got trampled to death. I'm just...
Neither. Both were serving an enemy nation and deserved what they got.
They weren't important to me so I don't really care
OPINION ON HOW THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO WAS PORTRAYED? 306 Responses
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47.1% of respondents didn’t want to pick sides, stating that the attack was tragic in both mediums of the story-telling. 25.8% felt that it was much more devastating in animated form alongside the sound, music and voice acting. 18.3% felt a bigger impact while reading the manga. 
Both versions are devastating, but Manga hit harder bc I just was so confused and couldn't stop trying to figure out wtf Eren was doing and why. Watching it knowing what I know made it somehow more devastating and yet also more palatable (bc I have a better understanding.)
It was more devastating in the manga. Especially Udo's death scene 
I think I have to wait until the battle is over. So far it's alright.
Loved it
It gave me more emotions in the manga. 
They got what they deserved
It was far more devastating in trailer 🙄
WE FINALLY HAVE A NAME FOR LADY TYBUR - LARA! THOUGHTS? 307 Responses
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One of the few characters left with no name after the large guidebook released a few years ago, Lady Tybur was all we could call her (aside from fan-given names). Now she has an official name! 26.7% found it neat that we finally got this official detail. 25.4% feel that now they can finally sleep at night. 17.6% are forever grateful for the name drop and hated waiting so long for it. 15.3% don’t care at all and 11.7% feel this confirms that Isayama is a fan of Tomb Raider.
Not what I was expecting and wasn't expecting her to get a name. At least people can stop calling her Emma or those other dumbass meme names.
Cool. Next up: names for the Blouse kids, right? Right right?
I'm not kidding when I say I literally jumped up and screeched "SHE HAS A NAME!!!"
she didn't need it. she was the mysterious lady t. 
Lara was more lucky than Traute, who got more panels in the manga but her name was mentioned only in the guidebook. 
Still died
WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 306 Responses
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Of all the shots in the preview, 45.1% of respondents were most looking forward to Levi’s staged attack on Zeke. 17% favored seeing Mikasa assist Eren, 15% were most looking forward to seeing Falco emerge from the basement to see the carnage outside. 10.1% were stoked to see Pieck enter the battlefield. The episode has aired as of the publishing of these poll results - we hope these scenes lived up to the hype (even though we guessed one wrong lol).
ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?
I enjoyed the episode very much. I felt that the CGI was handled fairly well given the time restraints. However, there were a few instances where it was a bit jarring like Eren eating Willy, Eren pulling the WHT's cord, Mikasa landing on Eren, and Jean climbing up on the roof. Also some of the CGI models looked a bit weird for the scouts. I'm hoping some of these issues can be improved on in the Blue-ray version. Overall, these issues were noticeable but didn't take too much away from my enjoyment of the episode.
As much as I don't like the CGI, episode was great.
Just that it was fantastic and I can't wait for the next one!
The music is top notch. I love it. Especially the new version of XL TT near the end
After re-visiting the trailer we got for this season, it's just....saddening. Everyone was wondering how Mappa was gonna animate AoT and after seeing that trailer, all that effort by the animators, I thought "it's in good hands!". Now that we're getting the episodes and it's underwhelming. I don't blame the Mappa animators at all and cgi is unavoidable at some moments. But whoever are the higher ups who said "animate this in the shortest amount of time" ARE the assholes. It's so upsetting for this anime and the workers of it to be brought down like this :'(
Continuing to enjoy the pictures on the page come to life in the anime.
It was pretty amazing, I was waiting for so long to see this part animated! Aaand I'm so happy I got to see again the scouts! (expecially Connie, my personal fav)
Erwin should had lived instead of Armin, so Erwin can nuke Marley dropping from a blimp
I really liked it! I don't understand all the critics about the animation. It looks really neat and smooth
the SC backlit in that final scene was sickkkkk
It was different from the manga, but all the differences just improved the storytelling and fleshed out the people in Marley. Well done, MAPPA!
aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
I’m just grateful Mappa actually gives a shit about adapting the story properly. That alone makes this season a 9/10 for me cause that’s rare to see in the anime industry these days.
THE OST WAS FIRE
Gabi's voice acting was amazing this episode ! Also, it feels good to hear the ODM gear sound effect again. The CGI didn't keep me from enjoying the fight, we got awesome camera movements and good choreography, I'm very hopeful for next episode ! Also best boy Onyankopon might appear soon ?
I seriously do not know why people are complaining. It was amazing! Can't wait for the next episodes, it's going to be action-packed and intense!
I don't know if I liked the episode or not. I usually prefer manga so even episodes I like I prefer their manga versions but there is something in off with the episode and usually, Titans fight are more excited but this one Nah it was not at all. War hammer was great in animation it served a better understanding of its powers but the fight, in general, was like boring?? idk maybe because I am a manga reader so the titan power/character's introduction was not as thrilling as they were when I've read the chapters. anyways, there is still more of the attack on liberio in the next episode so I'll give my final thought when we conclude the arc
I really enjoyed and the CGI doesn't bother me.
I think the reason Attack Titan looks a bit off is it looks a bit thinner! Warhammer looks amazing because it's a true copy of the manga. If Attack Titan was a bit buff, I think nobody would have that much of a problem. Overall the chapter is amazing!
as much as i adored everything else i must admit... what is wrong with the character design? what happened to everyone's jaws?? i think jean, mikasa and pieck were the worst drawn. in the manga, they look flawless. 
I just hope we would get actual discussions in the sub instead of circle jerking or bitching about the cgi/ost etc.
The soundtrack was epic as hell
Mappa is doing a good job, with the little time they had. But sadly, they had the capacity to do way better and I will always regret this situation. And the Jojo memes on Mikasa are on point: in that specific panel, she looks ugly and unlike her cute face in the manga. For the rest of the episode, she's well portrayed
I think this episode is a taste of what is to come. It’s one thing to read still, silent pictures of complete devastation, and it’s another thing to hear the explosions, the screaming and crying. Seeing the blood painted red instead of black and white. When Eren rumbles the world, more people will realize how evil it is, how completely irredeemable. Less people will be #teameren once they get to see it in the anime. I can’t wait to see what MAPPA has in store.
So many nice details in the battle that weren’t there in the manga, the war hammer animation was particularly great
I feel bad complaining, but this was the first episode of the season that has disappointed me at all. Every other episode I feel has elevated the manga. I don't want (and never expected) to be that person, but the CGI, especially on the humans (WHY??) was so awkward it was distracting. We also lost a little bit of expressiveness from Eren, which is kind of a big deal when there's so little from him to begin with. 
Soundtrack was lit!!!!
It is what it is. But after I finished the episode I went back to watch the trailer and got sad that the season just isn't going to look like that. It's not bad by any means and I understand that these are people, not robots working on this with an extremely tight schedule. This entitled fanbase is super embarrassing with it's behavior and harassment of the people working on it. I kind of hope the final arc doesn't get animated now because these people don't deserve it. 
Awesome! I was a bit distracted how the pacing was, cutting a bit weirdly from one episode to another, but I really enjoyed it!
That closeup of Eren's Titan after he nom'd Willy is NUTS. 
It was emotionless and almost boring. The sound director keeps fucking up big time. I didnt feel anything close to the hype I felt watching the Armored/Colossal reveal animated. There were no exciting goosebumps, or tears. Nothing. Also the CGI was terrible. There were good things, but I expected much more for suck a climatic episode
It was a good episode after all, graphic was ok but i think that if they continued with the same titan 2d animation of first episodes and maybe changed a bit some sound it would have been waaay better. Still a good episode imho
The episode was very average. I'm not trying to complain, I know that the anime is mostly for anime-onlines, while we have a manga, but I expected better. I imagined the titan fight to be smooth, but in reality both - WHT and AT - moved like two, fat elephants. In the manga I felt that WHT was fast like a wind. In the anime Lara was slow, she looked like she had a hard time to even hold her hammer. The moment between Eren and Mikasa was disappointing. In the anime when Mikasa was upset about Eren's actions, he was completely unfeeling, while in the manga we see him being full of emotions and almost crying. I know he will turn into a cold bastard but MAPPA shouldn't dehumanize Eren so much now. I was surprised by Connie's glow up. MAPPA has done better job with him. In the manga he still looks like a kid, while MAPPA made him more mature-looking and masculine. That's good for underrated Connie. I'm grateful for the scene between Willy and his children. This way he feels more sympathetic and isn't ""just a guy who declared a war and was eaten by Eren"". 
I really like how the warriors and Marleyans seem to be getting a somewhat equal amount of screen time as the scouts have gotten after they've come into the picture. I hope this helps to make clear for the anime-onlies that understanding the experiences, emotions and the development of the other side is just as important as understanding those of the scouts/Paradis.
WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 279 Responses
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Thank you again to everyone who participated!
18 notes · View notes
dear-yandere · 3 years
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—ask collection!
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a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 
beware, fairly long post... woops....
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chat asks.
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darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.
vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?
that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡
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darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--
vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...
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darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general
vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡
this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡
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darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!
vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and
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j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...
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darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?
vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 
my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!
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darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa
Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon
vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...
please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺
also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa
vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh
the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...
therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔
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sweet asks.
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darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!
darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.
vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺
as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!
have a great day yourself, my love!!
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darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL
vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡
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darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳
vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!
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darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.
You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).
I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.
darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!
darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤
darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:
darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!
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darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕
vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah
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also, to the anon worried about my safety:
thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!
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9 notes · View notes
tfw-no-tennis · 3 years
Text
mtmte liveblog issue 29
and continuing on!
the cover w/megatron and tailgate....tg so tiny...ooough
omg I forgot abt swerves long ass recap lol
the fact that they lowkey lampshade the fact that as mtmte was really hitting its stride, ending s1 fantastically, they got sucked into the whole dark cybertron thing...Ls
TG AND CYCLONUS HHHHH
tg as a lil car...and cyclonus smiling when he hears him coming...HHHH
also I love that cyclonus kept the great sword that he like, found amongst the belongings of all the dead circle of light members lmao 
or maybe the dude it belonged to didn't die, but he was too intimidated to ask cyclonus for his sword back. understandable 
tgs reaction to megatron...omg. I love him
I love ‘star sabered’ as a way of saying ‘drunk’ lmao
OUGHBHGGBHGJIHHIUHGHH and then when tailgate is like ‘ok, but HAVE I been missed?’ and cyclonus smiles and says ‘very much’ IM GONNA FUCKING DIE. this is only the BEGINNING of the tender gay pain for these two, how am I gonna survive this
the fact that tailgate’s criteria for ‘best day ever’ includes ‘people knowing who I am’ and ‘people being nice to me’...my boy 😭😭 
ah, trial time. I'm not really one for court/procedural stuff, and the gay space robots edition of judge judy is about as much as I can handle 
OOOOOF the list. the liiiiiiist
AUGHHHHH rodimus....rodimus....please make good decisions my boy
TEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him
the little swerve icon on the ‘no guns no swords no briefcases’ sign omg
the panel of megatron like, smirking and reclining while ultra magnus yells at him is wild...I always forget that those two like, actively didn't get along at the beginning, mostly bc we only see that for a few issues, but still, it’s pretty ironic considering how things end up w/them later
lost light insider...I SO wish we could've gotten that one-shot issue about the guy who writes it, that's ridiculously up my alley 
skids saying ‘I don't think you’re fit to drive’ to trailcutter is like, bending my brain, bc like...is it a DUI if a transformer drives around in alt mode while drunk...you're not driving a car, you're driving YOURSELF, but still...bruh
oh god starscream is here hvbakjhfbjksdbfj he’s such a bitch I love him
starscream putting on his theater kid crown, ready to make the fuck-up-the-plot-of-a-series-I'm-not-even-in speech of a lifetime
magnus and optimus: ok enough drama you gay idiot get to the point
that panel of starscream raising his hands up like ‘ok ok sheesh lol’ is so fucking funny
ok oh man, that is an epic speech. like, ooof. ‘he deserves pity.’ WOW
I feel like it also does such a good job showing how much bad blood is between starscream and megatron, and goes to show how megatron fucked Absolutely Everything up, including his dynamic w/his subordinates 
anyways, I cant believe starscream roasted megatron so hard that megatron ended up become a main cast member in mtmte bc of spite lmao
meanwhile nightbeat is contemplating the Mystery Stick™
nightbeat yet again pulling his bbc sherlock bs on somebody, this time...chromedome, certified grieving widow. never change nightbeat hvbhjakdsfbsakjdf
AUHGHHHHHH DATA GHOST REWIND IM HHHHHHHHHH
HIM 😭😭😭
I'M SO FUCKING SAD
REWINDDDDDDDDD
meanwhile, trailcutter is wearing a gopro to pull some sick illegal pranks for his youtube channel
there was probably a content creator power vacuum in the lost light youtuber community after rewind died and now everyone is scrambling to be the next big vlogger/editor
megatron: we should play this by the book
magnus: I have no choice but to simp
nautica is that Straightedge Square who gets caught up in sketchy shit and just dips vbhsjdkbfdjaskdf. the cops get called on a party and she's already gone, she drove you there but she left w/the car, whoops. I love her
oh I adore the panel with all the stuff labelled. tho ‘ambulons stuff (untouched)’ is making me really sad
ah, the premiere of the panic bubble, which will indeed be showing up again later
meanwhile starscream is doing lowkey anime poses and waxing poetic about how hard he dunked on megatron in front of everyone. I get the feeling he’s been waiting a long time for that one
oiguhahgudaf I forgot about chromedomes weird looking alt mode. cooked turkey lookinnnnn
don't knock ‘the power of love,’ nightbeat. You'll See™
the fact the cd is still looking for dominus even tho rewind is dead and also they haven't like, had any leads in millions of years...oof it hurts
gotta be honest, my first readthru I didn't understand the (really cool looking) panel of the lost light from the outside w/half of nightbeats hab suite missing, bc I just was like ‘oh its a visual framing technique for Cool Comic Panel’ lmao
ok I need the backstory of megatron being able to karate-chop people into permanent sobriety
megatron hiring trailcutter but in the most threatening way possible
oh, good, the coffin’s bleeding!
OHHH and the reveal that RODIMUS IS IN THE COFFIN and OH HEY we STILL haven't seen rodimus in the flash forwards have we??? hmmm
optimus: ok back to judge prime: luna 2 trials, magnus you got anything to add?
magnus: ಠ_ಠ(•_•)
and then we have megatron being the pettiest mfer in the known universe and changing his plea bc starscream pwned him ONCE 
hhhh and rodimus looking at the list...It Fuckin Hurts. my boy please make a good decision
thinkin abt how if optimus was like, supportive and understanding when rodimus tried to open up to him about his struggles w/leadership, all this might've gone differently...AUGH
anyways, cool issue! we’re doing lots of setup for the new status quo for s2, and there’s a mystery afoot! 
I don’t have much to say here tbh lol, this is a good issue and all but I don’t really have anything to add, soooo til next time!
6 notes · View notes
hatsukeii · 4 years
Note
hello! can i request a scenario where the reader is a manager along w/ yachi and kageyama and tsukki have like the PHATTEST crush on them but what they didnt kno is that yachi and the reader are dating bc they thought they were just Rlly Good Friends and the reader is vv affectionate? and like how would they react once they found out that theyre dating? IDK IF IT MAKES SENSE IM SO SORRY I THOUGHT ABT THIS AT 3AM HSKDJDD ANYWAYS THANK UU AND IM SORRY AGAIN
OKAY I HAD SO MANY PENDING REQUESTS AND UNFINISHED DRAFTS BUT THIS THIS IS TOO GOOD TO PROCRASTINATE ON ABHAHAH-
And DON’T BE SORRY BEBY, 3am is when our inner Voltaire shows.
Btw if you wanna be tagged in this scenario just comment or pm me!!
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You guys seem to be very good friends//Kageyama x Reader x Tsukishima
Word count: 1900+
Warnings: mild swearing
Summary: Tsukishima and Kageyama decide to ask their crush out, not knowing about her own relationship status.
“You’re not asking her out, I am. She said she likes darker hair more when I asked her last week.”
“Back off you Oompa Loompa, she’s gonna be mine by the end of the month. You’re too dumb for her anyways.”
“No way in hell would she want your salty ass.”
“You wanna say that again to my face you little bitch-”
“Hey guys.”
The two boys jumped up in surprise, blushing wildly at your unexpected arrival to the gym.
It’s been about two months since THE incident. You know, the time when the volleyball team decided to play truth or dare at Daichi’s, and both Tsukishima and Kageyama were dared to text their crushes “You are less shitty than everyone else, just saying.” It wasn’t until (Y/N) called Kageyama asking why both him and Tsukishima sent her such a weird text, did the two members of the team find out that they shared a crush with their archenemy. From that day on, the two have been trying even harder to irritate and taunt each other during practice. The both of them were determined to beat the other at confessing their feelings and taking her out. This day was no exception.
“O-oh hi (Y/N), what brings you here? It’s like 7, practice just ended.” Tsukishima questioned, awkwardly scratching his head as he tried his best not to sound like a stuttering idiot.
“Yeah, it’s late, uh- you shou-should ho gome- I MEAN GO HOME.” The blond smirked as the raven haired setter completely stumbled over his own words, slapping a hand to his mouth while his face continued to burn crimson.
The tiny girl in front of them gave the two that godforsaken amazing adorable heart melting smile, chuckling angelically, before explaining. “Ah, I’m actually here to pick Yachi up, she told me she was staying behind to help clean the gym out because I had plans after school. I promised her I would pick her up at 7, would you happen to know where she is?” The two boys looked at each other, before racing to the storage closet, competing to be the one that brings the blond manager to the girl of their dreams. “You could’ve just told me where she was, but okay! Thanks!” (Y/N) yelled after them.
“Jesus Christ you tyrant king, how’d you get here quicker?” Kageyama smugly grinned at Tsukishima as he approached Yachi. “Yachi, (Y/N)’s outside, she said she was picking you up.” The blonde manager’s face lit up, dropping the last volleyball into the basket. “Oh! Oh shit, I have to go now guys, see you!” Kageyama followed Yachi out of the storage closet, purposely shoving Tsukishima back with his shoulder on the way out, earning a scowl. “I got Yachi, you two head home now, stay safe!” “Thank you so much Kageyama, you two stay safe when you leave too!” The shorter manager waved the two boys off, lacing her fingers with Yachi’s as they walked out of the gym. “Tch, let’s see who gets her now shitty glasses. I helped her when she needed it.” Tsukishima rolled his eyes, letting out his shit eating smirk as he snickered. “Mhm, ho gome, very good grammar you got there. The only somewhat smart thing you’ve done is get her best friend. Sis probably still thinks you’re stupid.” Kageyama went silent for a moment, before lashing out at the middle blocker, grabbing his collar and shaking him violently. “Oi, we never speak of that again! Ever!” “Whatever you say baby dick. I’m still gonna ask her out to the festival, you’re not gonna stop me.” Tsukishima gave Kageyama a sneer, before packing his stuff and leaving the gym without turning anything off, just to piss Kageyama off. “Annoying ass shittyshima.” 
Throughout the next week, the two boys have tried relentlessly to grab (Y/N)’s attention. From secret love notes, to chocolates in her locker, to a full blown necklace. To say she was intrigued, but unbothered, would be pretty much accurate. “Hm? (Y/N)? Another love note? Who could it be? They’re getting on my nerves....” The shorter manager waved her hands, stuffing the letter back into her locker as she tried to explain to the blonde. “I don’t know who it is, but this is the third day in a row, and there’s chocolates too.” Yachi huffed out, before wrapping an arm around her. “Those scrawny ass boys better not be hitting on you!” (Y/N) chuckled a little bit, before tapping Yachi’s nose. “Even if they were, it wouldn’t matter to me.” The two of them continued to walk down the hallways, gaining occasional stares and glances along the way as they chatted.
Kageyama and Tsukishima watched from their lockers, anticipating her reaction to their love notes and chocolates. “Not even a glance?” “It’s been three days, she’s ought to be the slightest bit curious, no?” They watched as you frantically shoved the letter back into your locker as Yachi stood with her hands on her hips. The blonde then proceeded to wrap an arm around you as you tapped her nose. “Hm, they sure are close aren’t they? (Y/N)’s constantly looking for Yachi, and she always comes and picks her up if she stays until late. They’re so comfortable with each other that they even hold hands.” Tsukishima analysed, pushing his glasses up as he glanced at Kageyama, who was still completely confused with what had just happened. “How are we supposed to get through Yachi? She seems to never approve of anyone that dares confess to (Y/N). You remember Hiroyama from a few months back? He tried confessing, and ended up getting scared away by Yachi. He looked like he was about to piss his pants. He wouldn’t get anywhere near (Y/N) for weeks. I don’t wanna end up like him.” The blue haired setter recalled, slightly nervous about his plan to confess. “You know what? Screw it. I’m gonna go ask her out now.” Tsukishima jogged towards you and Yachi, Kageyama trailing closely behind him. “LIKE HELL ARE YOU ASKING HER OUT BEFORE ME SHITTY GLASSES!”
“Me? You’re asking me?” Tsukishima was now blushing furiously. “I- I just- ye- tch, yeah, I-I’m asking if yo-you wanna b-be my date for the s-summer festival.” Kageyama’s face fell. Oh god no, Tsukishima’s attempt better fail, or I won’t have a chance at all. “Oi, Tsukishima, back off. She’s not going to go with you.” Tsukishima gave his iconic sarcastic smile. “Yachi, maybe you should just let me ask your best friend out? I’ve been pondering over it for weeks, and I’m not about to let this opportunity slip. Maybe you should stop scaring guys away when they confess to her, that way she’ll actually have some form of freedom.” He slightly snarled, cheeks still completely red. Kageyama approached the three. “So, Shittyshima, you got rejected and now you’re salty about it? Told you she doesn’t want you, she’d be much better off going to the festival with me.” “Wha-” “Oh yeah Kageyama? Go back and coddle with Hinata first-” “OI YOU LITTLE BITCH WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME-” “Guys stop.” The two boys stopped their bantering instantly, now embarrassed and flustered. “I’m not going with either of you. I’m going with Yachi.” The blond middle blocker scoffed. “Well you guys seem to be very good friends indeed. Deadass the whole point of the festival is that it’s for people that want to ask someone out, at this point you two should just get married. Plus, Yachi literally scares away anyone that tries to ask you out, maybe she should stop controlling who you’re together with?” Yachi gave (Y/N) a weird look, before they both burst out laughing like madmen. 
“AHDHHDHAHAHAAH YOU REALLY THOUGHT I SCARED THOSE PEOPLE AWAY BECAUSE I DIDN’T APPROVE OF THEM?”
Kageyama raised an eyebrow. “Uh, yeah. What could it possibly be anyways?”
The two girls continued to cackle.
“TSUKISHIMA, KAGEYAMA, THE ONLY REASON WHY I WON’T GO OUT WITH ANYONE, AND WHY YACHI DOESN’T LET PEOPLE CONFESS TO ME, IS BECAUSE WE’RE DATING!”
What in the name of hell?
“YOU WHAT?” The two boys screamed, eyes now wide with shock.
“Yeah, we’re dating, now back off. You may be my friends, but if you do anything to my dear (Y/N) I won’t hesitate to make you piss your pants!” Yachi puffed out her cheeks, putting her hands on her hips. They continued to stare at them in shock, trying to take in all this new information. “(Y/N), you never told me that you were- that you were lesbian?” (Y/N) laughed heartily at Tsukishima’s question, taking a deep breath, before continuing to cackle. “I’m not lesbian, I’m bisexual, but Yachi’s lesbian. We’ve been dating for an entire year by now! How have you two not noticed at all? Everyone in the volleyball team knows!” The two boys looked to the ground out of embarrassment. “O-oh, I take back all the love letters I gave you, I-I didn’t know.” Kageyama mumbled, fiddling with his fingers. “Ye-yeah same, but you can keep the chocolates.” Tsukishima twirled his earphone jack around his finger in an attempt to calm himself down. “We’ll be going now, see you two later!” The manager yelled, waving them off. “What the hell just happened?” Kageyama whispered. “I think we just got rejected-” “YEAH NO SHIT WE GOT REJECTED SHITTY GLASSES.”
“HINATA!” “Yeah Kageyama-” “WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME (Y/N) AND YACHI WERE DATING?” The spiker went silent, before snickering to himself. “So you finally found out.” Kageyama zoomed towards the orange haired boy. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBASS!” “AHAHHA I’M SORRY BAKAGEYAMA! YOU WERE JUST WAY TOO DENSE, I HAD TO SEE WHETHER YOU WOULD FIND OUT EVENTUALLY OR NOT!” “YOU LITTLE SHIT, WHAT THE HELL KIND OF THOUGHT PROCESS IS THAT? I TALKED ABOUT CONFESSING SO MANY TIMES AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT INFORMING ME OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP?”
“Yamaguchi.” “Hm, Tsukki, what’s up?” Tsukishima’s face darkened. “Why didn’t you tell me (Y/N) was taken?” Yamaguchi shrunk away from the blond’s tall figure. “I thou-thought you knew already? It was super obvious!” The taller boy sighed, scratching the back of his head. “I made a complete fool of myself because I didn’t know she was dating Yachi.” Yamaguchi’s mouth hung open. “Don’t tell me-” “Yes, I tried to ask her out.” “TSUKKI I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!” “YEAH WELL YOU REALLY THOUGHT I WOULD LISTEN TO SOMEONE THAT TOLD ME NOT TO ASK MY CRUSH OUT WITH NO APPARENT REASON?”
From afar, the two girls observed amusedly. “Hm, I wonder how Hinata’s gonna die? He was the first one to find out about us.” Kageyama was still chasing Hinata around wildly, trying to grab at his club tee. “I honestly wonder what Tsukishima’s gonna do to Yamaguchi. Poor guy. Tsukishima had his headphones on as he went through his phone, his ears still red from bringing up the issue. Yamaguchi was next to him, trying to calm him down, but to no avail. “Ahh, out of everyone, I least expected these two to not realise early on. I thought Tsukishima was good at reading people.” You stated to Yachi, laughing a bit. “I know right? I swear, that was hilarious. Did you see his face? Mans looked like that strawberry on that cake he had for lunch this afternoon! God, I would literally pay to see that face again.”
I guess the two boys now know not to hit on (Y/N) ever again.
Yesss I love this request so much oh my god thank you-
48 notes · View notes
junipersgarden · 4 years
Text
metanoia 4. | Hijack
PAIRING: Peter Parker x Superhero!Reader
SUMMARY: After the intense and insane day of Venice flooding again from that gigantic water monster, Y/N and Peter want things to go back to normal but Nick Fury has other plans...
WORD COUNT: 3528 words
WARNINGS: A singular swear word from Nick Fury 
a/n: hello everyone!! here is the next part of my series ‘metanoia’ and i hope you enjoy!!
[NOT MY GIF]
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...
Inside Room 11 of Hotel de Matteis
...
from: F/N ✌️
HYDRO WHAT NOW?!  
                                                                                                                          from: you
Hydro-Man. apparently he's a sailor who suddenly
got water powers from an experiment or smth.
from: F/N ✌️
science. always the cause.
just y/n/n, are you okay?
we saw it all on the news and that 'thing' and what it did...
from you:
i'm okay and safe. everyone is and thankfully,
not one got hurt.
are you alright?
from: F/N ✌️
it was just, a massive scare.
after the whole 'blip' and everything and now this?
we literally can't have a break! and there's no one to protect us!
from: you
yeah ik. everything's just been chaotic.
im certain things will change tho and will get better.
plus, we have each other and pretty sure Spidey and Saviour as well.
from: F/N ✌️
guess we do... thanks y/n/n
anyways, i suggest you call your mum back or text her.
she was in hysterics and was screaming at Harrington thru the phone.
was pretty funny ngl, well without the situation.
from: you
will do.
i gtg now sorry; Harrington wants us up and early.
ill get to mum in a bit and will tell you more i promise.
gn nub!
from: F/N ✌️
you better... > : )
gn geek! : P
Slumping against the door, you sink to the ground and drop your phone lazily into your lap. The moonlight shines into your face from your open window, the night's cool breeze drifts and ruffle the worn down curtains.
I just want a break.
Your mind wonders and races with flashbacks of today's events; the screaming and collapsing buildings, water rapidly running and wrecking the streets of Venice and Venetian's homes and everyone; it's only the first day of the Europe Trip and it's already a mess... typical luck.
A vibration from your lap surprises you as you jolt upward lightly. The screen illuminates with its bright light directly into your eyes with the message notification: 1 New Message.
from: UNKNOWN
We need your assistance Saviour.
Meet at these coordinates and go alone.
You have 10 minutes to arrive and no later.
Tell no one.
Examining the order of numbers, you pin point the exact location and clicked off your phone; the location was underneath a bridge for whatever reason and is only a 5 minute flight with the suit.
"Hey ARIS?"
"Good evening Ms. L/N, how may I assist you this evening?"  Your AI responds, blinking a tiny blue light from your bracelet.
"Nothing at the moment yet. How's your status?"
"My circuits have successfully mended and the suit and myself are in full operation. I apologise for the inconvenience earlier."
"Wasn't your fault ARIS. Anyways, apparently I have a few missed calls?"
"Indeed you do. I apologise for not alerting you; I was in Power Nap Protocol as requested. You have approximately 20 missed calls from Mum, 10 missed calls from Dad, 25 missed calls from Y/F/N and 5 from Pepper Potts."
"A-any voicemails?" Your voice quivers with a hint of fear.
"Every missed call contains a voicemail except the 5 calls from Pepper Potts. Shall I send anything to the following?"
"No thank you ARIS. I'll call Mum and Dad myself." You finish and switch ARIS off.
Grabbing your phone, you unlock it and stare again at the anonymous message and groan.
from: you
i'll be there in 20.
They can wait. First, I need to call Mum and Dad and then-
"That canal water today was filthy and full of dangerous bacteria." Mr. Dell's voice abruptly interrupted your thoughts.
Then a shower and THEN I go to the bridge or whatever it is.
Standing up onto your feet, you lean against the door and go into contacts and as your finger hovers over 'Mum ❤️', a slight sense of pain hits you as you stare intensely at the name 'Pepper Potts'.
Shrugging the feeling off, you press onto the contact name and place the ringing phone to your ear, bracing for her yells and screams of relief and anger.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The sound of water rippling against the boat's motor is the only thing Peter can seem to hear; after wishing Y/N a goodnight, Ned had started bombarding Peter with questions about the 'Water Monster' and what he as Spider-Man was going to do.
Sure Peter still had an anxious and itching feeling about the monster but all he wanted to do was rehearse his speech of his declaration of love to Y/N and score the entire day with her in Paris.
But of course that was all ruined when Ned was shot by Nick Fury with a tranquilizer and told him about more bad guys possibly lurking around. What a great way to start a 'Spider-Man free vacation'.
With his suit on, Peter stood next to Fury and gripped onto its side; in front of him and Fury was an array of monitors which appeared to be measuring amounts of frequencies within the area.
"Stark left these for you." Fury perks up and nudges a box at Peter's direction.
Carefully and with caution, Peter takes the small, rectangular box into his hands and observes it; the outside had speckles of its beige brown paint chipped away from age. Peter gently lifted the lid and in front of him was none other than Tony Stark's famed glasses with his Stark Industries card placed beneath.
Peter stared at the glasses and felt a tinge of ache of grief but in it, a feeling of content rushed over it; Peter had Tony's glasses. Peter Parker was given the possession to multibillionare, genius, literal saviour of the Universe, the Iron Man and Tony Stark's iconic and ever expensive and high end tech glasses.
Brushing over the box lightly, Peter smiled sadly at them, remembering to all the times he had seen Tony wearing them; from on the news, front pages of magazines, wearing them when he was around and now, they no longer had that owner anymore; they didn't have Tony and neither did Peter. And neither did the world or Y/N.
"Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown." Fury quotes and turns to Peter and even though Peter's mask was shielding his face, the raised creases of his frowned face of confusion were evidently clear as he snapped from his trance. "Stark said you wouldn't get that because it's not a Star Wars reference." A dry laugh escapes Fury's lips as he turns back away from Peter and concentrates on the boat.
"Kid if you peep one more Star Wars reference today I'm going to take your suit."
"But it's May 4th Mr Stark!"
"I do not care; right now you're in my house and there will be no Star Wars references."
Peter huffed out in irritation as he continued to focus on readjusting his webshooters on his suit.
Tony let out a chuckle at Peter's demeanor and how this kid basically came dressed as Han Solo just for this one day of the year; the commitment was real and even though Tony would never tell anyone, he loved seeing Peter passionate about the things he loves.
Working in the lab was one of Peter's favourite past times; spending quality time with Tony, tinkering with his suit and just talking was something Peter loved about the Tower; it was his second home to him.
A knock from the door caused Tony and Peter to look up.
"Ms. L/N requests to enter." FRIDAY notifies.
"Grant access." Tony permits.
The doors of the lab open to Y/N holding steaming bowls of something that smelt amazing which wafted in.
"Brought you geeks some sustenance before I head home." Y/N waltzed in and placed the two bowls next to the both of them. Y/N saw something was different about Peter; not his hair or general appearance just his clothing but the closer Y/N looked at the details in his outfit, a name popped into her head.
"Peter are you Hans Solo?"
Tony bursted into laughter as Peter hid his face to hide his red cheeks. "F-For May 4th?"
"Guess that makes me Leia?"  Y/N poked her space buns in her hair. "I wanted to wear space buns to get my hair out my face and didn't even check the date, coincidences man." Y/N giggled at the convenience.
"But Tony in all honesty, don't you think Fury looks a bit like that guy from Star Wars... what's his name-"
"Mace Windu?"
"YEAH HIM PETER!"
"...I don't remember what he looks like... FRIDAY, can you get a photo of Mace Windu?"
Observing the photo displayed in front of him, Tony wiped the hologram away and looked as if he was in deep thought.
"...Well yeah he does-"
"Incoming call: Nick Fury." FRIDAY chimed and that was when the 3 of them lost it.
God I miss him and Y/N...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"Lose the mask, everyone here has seen you without it. You don't wanna be fanning around and breathing through a spandex mask for no good reason."
Trailing behind Nick Fury, stops for a brief second and takes his mask off and as he alters his senses to his surroundings, Peter is met with sight of SHIELD agents, alongside with their small set up with crates all around the joint with weapons and technology lying around as it were nothing.
By hearing Fury's footsteps echoing through the underground base, the SHIELD agents turn to face him and Peter with stoic and intimidating faces.
"Over there we have Maria Hill." Fury points to a woman with light brown hair tied into a ponytail who was busy on a computer, looked up for a split second at Peter to acknowledge his existence before getting back to work.
"That, is Dmitri." Fury gestures to a man wearing a leather jacket, seated on top of a crate as he quietly loaded his rifle.
"And this, is Mr. Beck."
As Nick Fury stepped to the side, Peter abruptly slowed to a complete stop as he gazed at the familiar figure and outfit in front of him.
"Mysterio?"
"What?" The man questioned at what Peter said.
"Doesn't matter- it's just what my friends are calling you." Peter stuttered.
"Well," As 'Mysterio' began to approach Peter, 'Mysterio' extended his hand to Peter, indicating to shake his hand.
Peter got the message as he started walking and the two met and shook the other's hand.
"You can call me Quentin." Quentin revealed his name as the two greeted one another.
"You handled yourself well out there today," Quentin implied to the earlier events of the day, "I saw what you did with the tower. We could use someone like you on my world." Quentin shrugged away from Peter.
"T-thanks... wait I'm sorry- your world?"
"He's from Earth, just not from ours." A voice answers from behind him.
Following the voice, Peter jumps by being startled and whips his head around quickly; walking from the entrance and to everyone else is none other than-
"You're late Saviour." Fury visibly annoyed and unimpressed exhales out.
"As my good friend Albert said, time is relative my friend." Saviour sasses back and skips straight past Fury's daggering eyes.
"S-Saviour?! W-what are you doing h-here? Oh god, now you know what I look like-"
"I've known for a while Parker and besides, you're not the only superhero SHIELD wants their hands on; Fury contacted me a while back after... Tony. And don't worry, New York is under control without me there." Saviour teases and strolls next to Beck, leans against the desk with arms crossed.
"There a multiple realities Peter; this is Earth Dimension- 616 and I'm from Earth Dimension- 833." Quentin further evaluates.
"I'm sorry, you're saying there's a multiverse?" Peter jogs up to Beck and Saviour, full of awe and amazement from his discovery. "Because I just thought that was theoretical and that changes everything and how we understand the initial singularity, we're talking about an eternal inflation system and how does that even work with all the quantum because it's insane-" Peter's rambling falters as he sees Nick, Maria and Dmitri looking at him funny.
"S-sorry, it's just really cool-"
"Don't ever apologise for being the smartest person in the room." Quentin encourages and sends a soft smile to Peter.
"Anyway Beck, wanna fill in Spidey and myself about whatever the hell that was today?"  Saviour perks up.
A diagram of a black hole suddenly emerged as everyone gathered around.
"They were born in stable orbits within black holes, these creatures formed from the primary elements: air, water, fire, earth."
As Quentin talked, the hologram changed alongside with what he was explaining, showing images of the creatures and their general appearance.
"The Science division had a- technical name, we just called them, Elementals."
"Versions of them exist throughout our mythologies." Maria Hill speaks up as the Elemental hologram changes into their mythology forms.
"Turns out the myths are real-"
"Like Thor," Peter interrupts Quentin as he pays close attention to the presentation, "Thor was a myth and now I study him in my physics class."
"These myths, are threats." Fury clarifies as he walks away from the scene as once more it changes into an image of Earth.
"They first materialized on my Earth many years ago. We mobilized and fought them but with each battle they grew and got stronger. I was apart of the last battalion that tried to stop them. All we did was prevent the inevitable."
"And now they're here and attacking the same coordinates; our satellites confirm it." Maria adds.
"You both can thank Beck for destroying the other 3; there's only 1 left: Fire."
"The strongest one of all... the one that destroyed my Earth. It's the one that took my family." Quentin mutters as the apparition of Earth is now scorned and tarnished in red. The red light reflects Quentin's face full of guilt and remorse, twiddling around his wedding ring on his finger.
"I'm sorry..." Peter murmurs.
"So where's this fire Elemental? Do we even know where it likely is?" Saviour bluntly asks.
"It'll be in Prague in approximately 48 hours." Maria responds.
"We have one mission: kill it and the both of you are coming with us." Fury demands.
Peter's face falls as he faces Maria in disbelief and asks a second time if she said Prague.
Saviour's posture lifts as the struggle and anxiety surfaces Peter as the colour from his face vanishes.
"Listen Fury this all seems like big time, like huge superhero kinda stuff and... and I mean, I'm just a friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man sir."
"Bitch please, you've been to space!"
"I know but that was by accident, sir come on, I've seen Saviour in action many times and I'll admit is probably better than me for this but there's gotta be someone else you can use." Peter protests and moves closer to Fury, "What about Thor?"
"Off world."
"Okay um, Doctor Strange."
"Unavailable." Maria pipes in.
"Captain Marvel!"
"Don't invoke her name." Fury shakes his head slightly.
"I really wanna help I do but if my Aunt finds out I left my class trip, she's gonna kill me and if I'm seen like this in Europe after the Washington Monument, my whole class will figure out who I am and then the whole world will figure out who I am... and then I'm done."
"Fury if it helps," Saviour steps up and walks next to Peter, "I'm pretty sure I can manage without Parker swinging by my side."
"Okay." Fury blankly answers, scaring Peter and Saviour a tiny bit from the lack of expression, "I understand."
Taken back by his approval, Peter and Saviour share a look with one another before going back to Fury.
"I'm sorry, what?" Peter with doubt inquires.
"Why don't you get back before your teacher's miss you and it becomes suspicious. Dmitri, why don't you take him back to the hotel."
"Thank you Mr. Fury and thank you Saviour." Peter sends a soft smile to Saviour and places a hand on the suits left hand shoulder. "I believe in you and good luck." Peter whispers only to Saviour before wishing everyone else out loud good luck.
"See ya kid." Quentin farewells Peter and watches him and Dmitri exit out.
"You really let him go Fury? No strings attached?" Saviour scoffs in astonishment by Peter's success to get himself out of SHIELD business.
Fury stands up and moves to Saviour with a stern look on his face.
"Of course not."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Bzzzz...
Bzzzz...
Bzzzz...
Groaning from your exhaustion, you roll over and press on your phone's screen multiple times in attempt to hit the snooze button.
Last night had been a rollercoaster: Peter and Mysterio are working with SHIELD with you, Fury made you stay back extra late to run through diagnostics which gave you around 4 hours sleep tops and the jetlag wasn't helping your situation at all.
Sitting up in bed, you try to stretch out your tiredness and peer to see MJ reading a book in one hand and a mug within the other, sitting on her bed with her black converses draped to the side.
Greeting MJ a 'good morning', you lift yourself up from the safety and warmth of the bed covers and slipped into the bathroom and changed for the day: rocking a pair of navy blue jeans and grey t-shirt for a casual but yet stylish look and throwing a little something over the top.
MJ mentioned there was breakfast downstairs (breakfast being cereal), you quickly did your hair and retreated down to grab a bite and sat next to Yasmin and Zoha and afterwards, heading upstairs to brush teeth and pack.
You and MJ both gave each other a hand carrying luggage down and delivering it outside.
"Oh I forgot my backpack I'll be back." You call behind as you jog back up to your room.
Rushing quickly into the room, you sweep up your backpack and stuff your phone charger inside and as you whirl around, you collide into something and hear a bang.
"I- Peter?"
"H-Hey Y/N! Sorry I was hanging up a call with Aunt May and I-"
"Pete it's fine you dork." You can't help but giggle at how flustered he is.
Peter's cheeks glow faintly pink as he shyly smiles.
"I got yelled at by my Mum and Dad for not answering the phone and I'm 98% sure I'm grounded when I get back home."
"Oh that's not good..."
"Guess not but eh, stuff happens. How are you though Peter? Feels like I haven't talked to you in a while."
"Y-Yeah... I'm good. You?"
"Yeah guess I'm alright. I'm really excited for Paris today though."
"Favourite destination?"
"Hell yeah! It's gonna be great but we gotta haul our stuff or Harrington will lose his mind." You joke.
"Oh yeah! That's why I was heading down." Peter swings his suitcase in front of him with a sly beam.
Too cute.
You and Peter talked for a far while before actually going back down the stairs and outside to everyone else.
"I'm going to get you a Vitamin C pill, you cannot get sick okay babe?" You hear Betty's distant voice as you and Peter round the door.
As you're about to walk out the door, Peter tugs your sleeve before you hit the outside and perplexed as you are, you pivot to look at him, giving him your attention.
"Before we go, I was just wondering if you wanted to um, sit next to me on whatever we're transporting on?" Peter fumbles and averts his eyes to the ground.
"Of course! I'll save you a seat Pete." You playfully punch his arm.
Peter rubs the back of his neck and lets out a laugh of relief.
You both walk out and see Betty frantically trying to receive a Vitamin C pill.
"I better go help her before she explodes." You suggest and inform Peter.
"Y-Yeah. See you later?"
"See you later!" You wave and leave Peter and Ned alone.
Peter watches Y/N tap Betty on the shoulder as Betty freaks out over the situation and remembers of why Ned is feeling 'sick'.
"Hey man, are you sure you're good?"
"Dude! I'm fine! Okay don't worry! Seriously, getting tranqed in the neck by Nick Fury, probably the coolest thing to happen to me anyway."
"It is pretty cool." Peter admits as the both perform their handshake. "I'm just glad we don't have to go to Prague-"
"Good news: we're going to Prague!" Mr. Harrington announces with a wide grin plastered on his face.
Everyone buzzes around 'whats' and 'huhs' as everyone glances around.
"Tour company called and upgraded us. Should've heard I gave them hell now come on!" Harrington begins to march as everyone scrambles for their belongings.
"Check out our upgraded ride!" Harrington chirps as the class sees a black bus with a man holding a sign saying 'Midtown High'.
Peter immediately recognizes the guy to be Dmitri from last night and gulps down his irateness.
"I think Nick Fury just hijacked our summer vacation."
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soundofseventeen · 4 years
Text
13 Days of Christmas (Xu Minghao)
I’m almost done.
Word count: 2268
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“Did he see me?” You asked ducking behind the curtains.
“If he did, he would’ve been knocking on your front door already,” Chan said nonchalantly. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re so fucking weird?”
“He has a dog, Chan! And he’s the cutest thing ever!” “Are you talking about Minghao hyung or his dog?” 
“Shouldn’t you be at home?” “Shouldn’t you stop taking pictures of my friends?” He brought the baseball cap he was wearing down to his eyes. “Seriously, I’m getting tired of you falling in love with them.”
“I’m not in love with any of your friends!”
“Let’s see...there was Cheol hyung at the coffee shop, Mingyu and Jihoon hyungdeul at the gym, Jun hyung at the park...and my personal favorite Soonyoung hyung at that restaurant.”
“That one wasn’t intentional!” you pointed your finger at him “You know I was meeting Wonwoo there!”
“So you say.” He shrugged, looking for his jacket to put it on. “Listen, as much I don’t enjoy spying on my friends with you, I have to go meet Vernon and talk to him about a show coming up...no you can’t come to either.”
“I wasn’t asking to go.”
“You can’t either way so ‘bye! I’ll text you later.”
You rolled your eyes. You loved Chan but he liked to blow things out of proportion from time to time. He had very attractive friends, yes, but you didn’t care for following them around town and hoping they’d notice you. Yes, Seoul was big but he wasn’t exactly the shy type….he had 12 other friends that he constantly like to spend time with….at the same time. You could barely handle four people at once for a couple of hours but hey you respected him. But that wasn’t the point.
You could name one attractive thing from the oldest to the one barely older than him but he wouldn’t really listen to that. But there was something about Minghao that kept you on your toes. You couldn’t exactly figure out why he stuck out like a sore thumb. He had the iconic resting bitch face made you afraid to approach him in the past, even when he had the cotton candy looking hair thing going on. You talked to him the least and admired him from afar the most. He also had this thing where he ruined your ego by rejecting someone else. As in, someone else confessed they had a crush on him and he said he wasn’t interested and to think about other things besides him. (As if he was some kpop idol.)
And then, he seemed a little friendlier when he got a dog. It wasn’t a big change but it was enough for you to say hi to him...and take pictures of the dog when Minghao wasn’t looking. But as always,  Chan caught you at the wrong time and made his own assumption. Well, he wasn’t wrong but you wanted to play it cool...or as cool as you could manage. 
You waited a few more minutes until you were sure that Chan was gone, so you could leave to do your grocery shopping for the week. The cold weather often made it impossible for you to get things done but with the holidays approaching faster and faster, you wanted to have your fridge and cabinets stocked with food in case someone in your family dropped by to surprise you or in the unlikely event that you’d be snowed in. You knew you had enough nonperishable food to last you to the New Year...even to Valentine’s Day, but you didn’t like being at home with nothing to do, so you threw your jacket on, transferred money out of your savings and headed straight for the supermarket, not quite sure what you were gonna buy.
*
You were quite proud of yourself for everything you bought...even though you felt tired.
Well, you didn’t actually get into the spirit of buying food, (and maybe presents if you found some that you liked enough to give) until you had caffeine in your system. You loved Chan, you really did, but he somehow usually managed to drain enough energy out of your system to power an army. You stopped at the local dog cafe, since it was the closest thing to you. You’d been there a handful of times and even though you had no complaints about the coffee...the price was another story. Somehow though, being surrouded by all the furry animals made up for it. 
You sat at one of the tables after getting your drink, becoming a bystander to the outside world. You opened your backpack and pulled out your sticky notes. Though you still had time for the Chfristmas gift shopping, you wnated to be sure you had enough to make it to your next paycheck...even with what you transferred. It was noisy inside but somehow you were still able to get lost in your thoughts and what you still had to do, only coming back to reality whenever a pup scurried past by and their tail thumped on your leg.They often made you wanna have a pet of your own, but you couldn’t afford one just yet.
”Do you mind if I sit here?”
You looked up to see Minghao balancing a laptop, a book, his own cup of coffee and his newest trusty sidekick and you nodded, standing up quickly to see if there’d be any way to help him unload but he waved you off. 
“I got this. It’s just so crowded here and you were the only familiar face I saw so I thought it’d be good to ask you.”
You merely smiled at him, unsure of what to say. You’d be lying if you said you never pictured something like this would happen, but you also couldn’t deny it made the situation a little scarier. Minghao in your daydreams often stopped by quietly, and shyly put your favorite pastry on the table and he shared his earphones with you and he’d sneak peeks at you. This Minghao quickly opened his laptap and fed his dog a biscuit to keep him quiet. He didn’t bother to make conversation with you and instead flipped through the notebook and typed in whatever was written down. “I’ll be out of your hair soon. I just need to buy a few presents for people.”
“Oh, you can stay as long as you want. Im just making some payments and then I’m leaving.”
“Who could you possibly be stalking today?” He didn’t break his gaze from the laptop so you couldn’t tell if he was joking.
“I...no one. I have to do grocery shopping and maybe start buying people stuff.” You did some addition, wondering just how much you could pay this month and still have enough to spend and letting out an irritated sigh when the numbers didn’t agree with you. You completely ignored him then, focusin on the internal bargains you made with yourself until you reached a satisfactory conclusion. You tapped your fingers on your knee absently, making one more quick estimate when you felt somthing licking your hand, Alright, you momentarily forgot that it was a pet cafe so you gasped a little louder than inteded, but it was time to go anyways.
Minghao noticed this and quietly rebuked the poor pup in Chinese and turned his attention to you. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to go. I can leave.”
“I have to go anyways,” you stood up, feeling embarrassed. “I have to go make dinner and then call my mom to see how she’s doing. Plus, if I give my landlord the rent money money now, I’ll be able to spend mh next check however I please.”
He surprised you by standing up too. “No, I insist. You can stay and I’ll leave with Pandi. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“Mingaho, it’s fine,” you assured him. “I have to go and-shit it’s cold!” The breeze that snuck in when the door opened reminded you that the holiday was here and you rushed to put your overcoat and gloves on, grateful that you left your beanie on.
“Pandi said she’s sorry...hey Y/N?”
“What?”
“I think you might need your phone for future things,” he chuckled. He picked it up and shoved it into his pocket. He took your only grocery back and walked outside with it until you were ready to join him. “I guess we can walk with Chan’s friend tonight, huh sweet girl?” He knelt to the dog’s level, and put on the small jacket he carried in his messenger bag on her and after some deliberation, a Santa hat too
You finally stepped outside as he was zipping her up and you had to contain your squeal at the adorableness. You had to admit though: seeing your intimidating crush caring for some thing as vulnerable as a pet made your heart do things. He just gave you a shy smile and offered you your bag. “Wait, are you coming with me?” The thought alone made your heart race in a way that scared you.
“Well, we live in the same area...and it’s almost dark outside...don’t you think it’d be more awkward to walk by ourselves?” He shot you a pointed look and you had  to admit that you felt silly. He was still kinda scary. “Besides, I need to talk to you.”
There it was...the chill in your bones that had nothing to do with the air. “Oh my god, please tell Chan I’m not in love with any of you and I don’t stalk any of you.”
“I was just gonna say that if you wanted to watch Pandi when I go back to China next month...Chan said you’re good at taking care of pets.” You couldn’t tell if the reddening of his cheeks came from the cold air or the acknowledgement of what you said, but you cursed Chan for making your life miserable. “The stalking thing was a joke.”
With a blush as red as his Pandi’s Santa hat, you could conclude with absolute certainty was that if you didn’t give Chan a well-deserved lump of coal...you’d defintiely be chucking one at him soon. “Oh...sorry.”
“I’m gonna regret asking this, but is that really all you and Chan talk about?”
Oh, the candidness only embarrassed you further, and you wished more than anything to have been run over by a reindeer. “Chan seems to think...I’m in love with either one of you guys or all of you. And I’m not...at all.” The attraction was another story. “He’s convinced that I know all of your schedules and have all these photos of you hidden somewhere in my room.” You shot Minghao a short glare as he opened his mouth. “And I can 100% tell you it’s bullshit.”
“So you’re really gonna deny taking pictures of me from your room?”
“They’re all of your dog, I swear!” You whined. “You just happened to come out in a few of them.”
“Y/N.”
Your gloved hand reached into your pocket to take out your phone and you threw it at him. “The code is 2605.”
“Why are you giving it to me?” He asked, sounding amused. He didn’t know what your lockscreen would be, but he had to admit that he found it endearing. (unless it’s Hao, then picture something completely different.) And the same for your wallpaper. 
“Because if I showed you, you’d think I was deleting them.”
“How do I know they’re not backed up in your laptop somewhere?” He didn’t know that you could be so funny either. No wonder Chan liked hanging out with you.
“Wait until I get home and I bring the fucking thing to you,” you muttered but he still heard you.
“Are you gonna give me gingerbread cookies and hot chocolate too?” He finally stopped stalling and went to your gallery, unsure why his heart was pounding.
“If it’s gonna shut you up, then yes.” You took his leash to take Pandi, but were surprised when he didn’t say anything. The screen was still bright enough for you to catch the glare reflecting off his glasses as he casually swiped through them. He finally nodded approvingly and he handed it back to you, but let you keep the leash. “Proof enough?”
“I mean, I’m still not convinced. I might have to see your laptop too. Plus you promised me cookies.” He was a little bummed that he found a whopping total of three pictures he was included in when it came to his pet, and that was including the one where it was only his shoe. 
Minghao had always found you cute, but when Lee Chan started the crazy rumors of you being a stalker, he was skeptical, especially how you managed to show up a lot of the time after he pointed it out. Coincidence? Or something else? 
“You...are...infuriating.” You shook your head. Maybe this would make your crush go away.
“Are they homemade?” He remembered that Chan said you baked for fun from time to time.
“You’re not getting any.”
“I guess I’ma have to tell my friends you’re a stalker.”
Yep, walking home as the stars came out and with the wind blowing the pine scent in every direction, your crush on him was slowly fading. 
He gave you a small smile followed by a giggle and gently ruffled the beanie on your head. “You’re funny.”
Or not.
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earthbovndmisfit · 5 years
Text
Kiss me, Mister Joestar! (fanfic)
A Victorian gay man is madly in love with the sweetest gentleman. His love for him is so overwhelming that everyone around them seems to have noticed it already, including said gentleman's wife, who our sweet gay icon has become close friends with...
Is Jonathan really /that/ painfully oblivious to it all? Or could there be something more going on...? Whatever it might be, it's driving Robert insane, and things start getting even tougher on the matter for Speedwagon after the birthday party the Joestars threw for him.
A story written for Speedwagon's birthday, as you can tell by now.
Happy belated 156th birthday, you sweet dork!! <3 (posted it on the 16th on Ao3 but forgot to bring it here orz)
* * * * *
Pairings: Jonathan/Erina /&/ Jonathan/Speedwagon
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More details and the whole fic under the cut... (if Read Mores don’t work for you and you don’t want to see this post, feel free to block the ;long post tag)
Notes: The story is set in 1889, a little less than a year after the events in PB. It’s also an AU where Jonathan lives. Everything went down the same as in canon, save for the fact that Dio died in Windknight's Lot (or at least he hasn't come back since). Jonathan's and Erina's honeymoon went as smoothly as it should have. Jonathan is also now an archaeologist, working on his many different researches on Aztec culture mainly. The rest more or less remains the same as in canon, including Speedwagon being helplessly in love with Jonathan.
In this story (and any other of my stories involving the Ogre Street gang), the Kenpo Master will be referred to as Li. That's the name I've given him: Li Jiang. I also have this headcanon that "Tattoo" is not the red-head's name, but a nickname he adopted after getting that trademark tattoo on his face (his name being Stephen O’Moore, but he's still addressed as Tattoo most of the time for his own personal reasons anyway).
Fun fact I just realized while writing this story: Just like this year's (2019) Oct 16th fell on a Wednesday, 1889's Oct 16th also fell on a Wednesday (cue a loud OH MY GOD).
Warnings: There’s a depiction of tobacco smoking. There are also a few mentions/depictions of pregnancy, and the usual cursing our dear Robert has us used to. Also “mentions” of period-typical homophobia.
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Soft chuckles and giggles could be heard coming from behind the closed doors of the tea room. A bit of a feat, considering how espacious the room was. Inside, two blondes comfortably sat in the large, cushioned, armchairs around the tea table, talking about all sorts of stuff over tea and pastries, filling each other in on the other’s news and sharing a laugh every now and then and just enjoying each other's company like they would normally do on evenings like this. It was getting late, and the time to say goodbye for the night was getting closer.
"I enjoyed spendin' this evenin' with you, Miss Joestar. As always, it was a wonderful one!"
"You don't have to keep up the formalities, Robert. We have been friends for how long now?" She made a brief pause. A rhetorical question that both knew didn't need an answer. "Just call me Erina." A kind smile graced her delicate features. He nodded, still feeling a bit inadequate to address any of the Joestars by their first names, but he couldn’t simply say no to them. "And, the feeling is mutual. It is always a pleasure to have you here. I just wish Jonathan could have been able to join us today."
"He's still workin' on that thesis, isn’t he?" A soft nod of her head was given in response.
"He says he is almost done with it. It is also due next week’s Monday, so he has had to work extra hours on it these past days." There's a sense of pride in her voice despite how much she wished she could have had more time to spend with him as of late.
"I'm completely sure 'is 'ard work 's gonna pay off." It always did. Jonathan was truly a hard working man, not only on the battlefield, but also in everything he did, always giving his all. Not to mention how passionate he was about his field.
"I have no doubts about it. Now, about that week’s Wednesday..."
"Oh. Please, don't burden yourself with that!" The man was quick to reply. "It 's nothin' special at all!"
"Come on. Don't be silly, Robert." The lady offered an even warmer smile and put her hand on top of Robert's as it rested on the table, giving it a soft and friendly squeeze. "It is all the opposite to 'nothing'. And it most certainly is special, too. And I'm completely sure Jonathan thinks so, too." Well, there was no arguing to that as Speedwagon could almost hear the brunet echoing his wife's words while giving Robert a pat to his shoulder. Still…
"But, Miss Joest–" Erina gave him a look and Robert tried again. "Ahh. Sorry... Erina. Blimey. It 's just, I... I wouldn't want t' impose and be a burden t’ any of you..."
"And you won't be. Never have been such, and I assure you that will not be the case either. Besides, this will be the first time we get to celebrate your birthday together, and I know Jonathan is just as excited as if this was his own birthday." She let out a soft chuckle, and she withdrew her hand, placing it this time on top of her pregnant belly. "And I can tell this little one is excited, too." Robert couldn't help a fond smile at all that. He certainly couldn't –and wouldn’t either– let any of the three down in any possible way. Not in this life or the next one (and every other lives that could come after that).
"Alrigh', but only if you're sure this 's not a hindrance t' you or Mister Jo–.... T' Jonathan."
"You have my word on that. Please, come visit us again for the date. And bring your friends, too. The maids will make sure everything is ready for the occasion. You don't have to worry about anything at all besides gracing us with your presence and having fun." She added with such a kind tone to her voice that it made it impossible for Speedwagon to add any "buts" to the conversation.
“I swear you two are too kind t’ me sometimes…”
“You deserve it.” She added with absolute honesty. “You have always done so much for us, and for Jonathan, mainly. It is the least we can do for you.”
“It’s nothin’ grand. I’m just doin’ my part on repayin’ Jojo for all ‘is kindness and everythin’ he’s done for me since we met.”
“You always make it sound like everything you do for us is insignificant, Robert, but I assure you it is not. We truly appreciate all of your actions. And I know you are so very special to Jonathan as much as he is to you.” Robert couldn’t help the blush that was now creeping up to his face, even though Erina voicing that sort of knowledge she had was not new by now. She had long ago found out about his true feelings for Jonathan, never having any issues with it at all.
Erina was fully aware of how easy it was to love Jonathan, and she also knew some of the story between Robert and him. She had also been perceptive enough to understand that there was something more to those apparent “codes” in Robert’s general appearance, which was far different from that of most gentlemen in England. That had been something Robert gladly explained for her as their friendship grew and both became more comfortable around each other, letting her know that, indeed, there was a meaning to them all, and that he had always had a liking for men. Whatever fear or worries he could have had until then about letting her know something as delicate as that faded away almost immediately after informing her of his situation as she never made any sorts of disgusting comments, nor gave him any weird looks nor treated him poorly, like many others would have probably done. All the opposite, all he ever got from her was sympathy without any kinds of judgement, and all her support.
And it never ceased, not even after he finally caved in, some time later, and admitted to her his undying feelings for Jonathan. It didn’t take her by surprise when he did, though. Then again, Robert had always had a tendency to be quite transparent about his feelings for the gentleman even when he tried not to. It had always been crystal clear that his admiration for him went far beyond a simple friendship, and that there was so much more that was still left unsaid. Something deeper. Something vastly more meaningful and everlasting. And she fully supported it.
“I will not take any attempts of refutals, Robert, and you know it.” She promptly added, not allowing him to downplay his own acts of love towards them but, mostly, towards Jonathan once more. The blond let out a soft whine, hoping the pink dusting his face would go away soon.
“You are mean, Erina…” He simply jested this time, leaning back into his chair.
“If that is what is going to take to make you understand just how special you are to us; how special you are to Jonathan, then I will be the meanest lady you will ever meet.” She said, her tone playful, but her words sincere. And Speedwagon could see that very well in her clear blue eyes.
“I truly do not deserve a friend like you.” A soft chuckle in the shape of a huff punctuated his words. He then picked up his cup of tea, sipping the last of it’s contents so he could take his leave.
“You are a wonderful man. You just haven’t realized it yet.”
“Wish I could believe that. I mean, it ‘s not that I doubt you or anythin’!! It ‘s just...” Robert averted his gaze, unconsciously letting his head hang a little. His tone sounded defeated, and Erina could tell the reason why.
“Jojo is fully aware of how wonderful you are, too. He just...” She sighed softly, unable to find the right words for it. “He can be a bit oblivious to the signs if you are not direct or clear enough with him sometimes. Especially at moments like this, when his mind is fully absorbed by something else.” Both remained in silence for a moment. Erina’s soft hand once more offering a reassuring touch to the back of Robert’s scarred one.
“I… know. I… I just wish I ‘ad the guts t’ finally be open with ‘im and just tell ‘im ‘ow I feel.” The man didn’t do much to lift his head, slipping his eyes closed for a moment instead. Erina could feel the muscles in Robert’s hand tensing up a little under her palm, right before he lifted his head. There was pain in his eyes. “I’m scared t’ death that he might find me disgustin’ and will not want t’ see me ever again.”
“Fear of rejection is the most normal thing to feel in this type of situations. The views most people have regarding people with ‘a different taste’ than the rest does not help much on that matter, but it does not mean everyone will turn against you, and I’m almost certain you know that very well after all the experiences you’ve had, and all the people you have met around the globe.” Her tone was soft, reassuring. Even with his lack of an interest in women, it was easy for Robert to see why Jojo loved her so much. “I’m afraid I don’t have the exact answer you are looking for, but I know in my heart that, no matter what, Jojo will never think any less of you.” The pain was still visible in his gaze, but he seemed to be a bit more at ease after hearing that.
“Thank you, Erina. You are an absolute saint.” The woman then shook her head, lightly.
“I beg to differ. I just want you two to be the happiest possible.”
“And you say you’re not a saint, eh…?” Both blondes shared a soft laugh and Erina withdrew her hand once more. “Well, looks like it ‘s time for me t’ go.” Speedwagon stood up from his seat. He straightened his waist coat and adjusted his frock coat before he picked his hat and put it on his head. Erina stood up as well.
“The carriage that will take you home is waiting for you.” To which Robert could only stare at her; his eyes widening a bit and his mouth slightly agape.
“What? Blimey, that won’t be necessary. I can just–”
“I told you before: I will not be taking any negative responses for an answer.” She cut him short with that gentle tone of hers and a matching smile.
“One day, I don’t know ‘ow, but one day I will repay you two for everythin’ you’ve done for me.”
“Until then, please, be kind and accept these small displays of gratitude of ours.” Truly, there was no way they could dislike each other.
It took Robert some effort to convince Erina not to walk him to the main entrance of the mansion, but he did it. He worried too much over her and her pregnancy sometimes. It was almost comical in an endearing way just how much Jonathan and him resembled each other on that matter. However, and all that aside, the truth was that Erina was in her 8th month of pregnancy, almost the 9th, so moving around freely and without getting easily tired was not as simple as before, so she had to take it easy, mostly for the baby’s sake.
Not long after saying their farewells for the night –and Robert saying farewell to little Jojo as well–, and after greeting the coachman that was going to take him home, Robert was finally on the carriage, leaving the Joestar state. As the place began to disappear behind them, one of Speedwagon's hands went up to the chest pocket of his coat. He could feel the squared shape of the envelope Erina had given him earlier that day, shortly after he’d arrived. It was a little letter Jonathan had left for him to make up for his absence that day. He hadn't read it yet, and he was completely sure nothing out of the ordinary was written in it, and yet…
"He really took some time outta 'is day t' write this for me, huh...?" He mused under his breath, and the sole thought made his heart flutter. He was so madly in love with that man it was almost unbelievable.
With that image of Jonathan, as busy as he was, taking some time for him and writing that letter with him in mind, still lingering in his head, Robert leaned back into the cushioned seat of the carriage. He wanted to read the contents of the letter, even if there was nothing more in it than Jojo’s heartfelt apologies for missing his visit and the promise of properly making up for it and seeing him next time, but he knew any attempts of actually reading it would be futile with the lack of proper lighting inside the carriage. He let out a sigh and took his hat off, placing it on the empty seat beside him. He made himself comfortable –as comfortable as a big, 5’11” tall man like him could get in a space like that– and tried to get some sleep.
********
About a week later, the same carriage was seen making it’s way back to Liverpool. This time, though, there were two more passengers travelling along. The trip, unlike last time, felt a lot shorter. Probably because this time Robert had his Ogre Street mates with him all along to kill some time. Or maybe because, this time, he knew what Jonathan had wanted to tell him in the letter.
Just as Robert had expected then, there had been nothing particularly grand in it. It had been full to the brim with sincere apologies and all as well filling him in on some of the news of his everyday and stuff about his most recent work. What had made him feel a bit too anxious in anticipation, though, had been a line that Jojo added near the end. Something about a big surprise. Of course, it was a bit too much of a stretch that that could mean… what Robert kind of thought (more like, wished) it could mean, and he knew it. But still, that didn’t make much to ease that feeling that was pooling in the pit of his stomach, and he felt kind of silly about it. Being so excited over something that was most likely not going to happen, was he even for real? He questioned himself over and over again since reading that letter the morning after he’d left the Joestar mansion days ago, and still did now as the three guests were led into the mansion by one of the butlers while another took their baggage to the designated rooms upstairs. The first butler then took them into the banquet hall, where their hosts were awaiting for them.
Even though this was not the first time Tattoo and Li visited the Joestar estate, that didn’t change much that feeling of inadequacy the three of them were always victims of whenever they visited. This place was so huge and imposing. Regardless of the kind nature of Jonathan and Erina, always making them feel welcome, it was near impossible for folks with much less fortunate backgrounds such as the three of them not to feel that way, like they were completely out of place. Never in their lives they would have imagined they would set foot into a majestic place like this unless they were raiding it...
The big double doors of the hall were pushed open by the butler guiding them through the mansion and he stepped aside, so the group could come in. The first thing Robert saw as he stepped into the room was Jonathan’s beautiful smile.
“Robert!” The younger man greeted, excited, waving his hand –manners and 100% proper and sober Victorian etiquette were still not his forte, huh– and rushed towards the newcomers. “You came! I was worried you wouldn’t!”
“There ‘s no way on Earth I’d ever let you down, Jonathan.” Robert took his hat off and offered a gentle smile of his own while secretly trying to hide the soft blush he felt was threatening to creep up to his cheeks at the sight of his favorite gentleman smiling so bright at him. The taller man then grabbed him by his shoulders in a gentle manner, showing just how excited he was to see him again after so long.
“I know, I know!! But still! I was just...worried, you know?” Jonathan rubbed his cheek a little before he loosened his grip and hugged the man instead. Something quite improper, especially between two men, but it was something that Speedwagon couldn't find any reasons to complain about. He returned the hug in a very similar manner, enjoying every second of it, unconsciously memorizing the smell of Jojo’s lotion mixed with his own flowery scent. A true delight to his sensitive nose. "I'm so happy that you're here." His voice was low as there was no need to raise it with how close they were from each other, Jonathan practically whispering those words into his ear. Robert felt his legs go a tad weak, but they didn't give in, mostly thanks to Jonathan’s strong but tender embrace. He knew Tattoo and Li were going to tease him on end about this later but, fuck it, he couldn't care less about that.
“And I am truly ‘appy t’ be ‘ere, you big sap.” He replied in a lighthearted way, adding that last bit in an attempt to play it cool and not completely give himself away, even though he was almost completely sure at this point that everyone in the room –save for the object of his affections, unfortunately– were well aware of the true nature of his feelings for Jonathan. The brunet finally pulled away from the hug and properly greeted Li and Tattoo as well, shaking hands with them and exchanging kind words and genuine smiles. Erina also came to greet them all, in a much more proper manner than her husband, but just as warm and kind as him. Those two were nothing at all like most other rich folks Speedwagon had ever met before.
“How’s little Jojo doin’ today?” Robert asked, his gaze falling down to Erina’s pregnant belly for a moment.
“Wonderfully!” She replied; her smile never fading away. “And quite excited, too. They have been kicking a lot today.”
“They are excited because they knew Uncle Speedwagon was coming today.” Jonathan added as he moved back to Erina’s side, draping an arm around her shoulders. That sweet smile of his in full display once more…
...And Robert couldn’t help the blush on his face. Not just at that beautiful sight, but at what Jonathan had just said.
“Uncle…?” He echoed, and the couple’s smiles grew wider and even warmer.
“That’s correct!” They both said almost in unison.
To think Erina and Jojo considered him good enough for such an important role in their child’s life… Lord, he felt so undeserving.
“I honestly don’t think I’m the most fit for the role, but I’ll ‘appily do my best t’ not disappoint any of you!” The smile gracing his features mirrored those on the couple’s faces in every possible way, showing just how touched he genuinely was. Having known Robert long before Jojo had come into his life, Li and Tattoo found it truly sweet to finally see him being this happy, and surrounded with so much love, even if not everything about it had been going the exact way their mate wished. They knew the kind of man he was underneath that tough and rough exterior he was very well known for in all of the slums, and knew how deserving he truly was of every single ounce of it. Both of them placed a hand on each of Speedwagon’s shoulders as a sign of that, smiling at him and at the Joestars as well, and the man returned the gesture with that genuine smile of his as well.
“We are so happy to hear you say that. Now, please, don’t stand there and come take a seat!” Erina added and walked over to the huge dining table. Jojo led them to it as well. Some of the maids had already come in and were already getting everything ready for the meal, bringing in the dishes for them all to enjoy.
“Hope you have a good appetite today!” Jojo exclaimed as he pulled the chairs out for their guests. “The staff worked hard on all this, so I hope the food is to your taste.” And he finally sat down as well once everyone was in their seats; the maids and butlers putting the many plates of hot food on the table before each one of them and getting everything ready for everyone to enjoy their meals. Once they all had finished their food, they all went outside and took a walk around the majestic gardens surrounding the mansion, enjoying the beautiful views and the still gentle breeze of the first month of Fall.
The reunion went down as smooth as expected so far: A shared high spirit, lots of fun and interesting stories about many different subjects shared by everyone, genuine laughter and smiles, incredibly tasty food (and many different dishes to sink their teeth into, too). A pleasant time they all deserved and had been looking forward to as well.
Low tea time then came, and they were all greeted in the tea room by a different part of the staff working at the mansion. Hot beverages, all sorts of delicious pastries, the perfect lighting. Everything was ready by the time they got there. Everyone took a seat and soon after, the tea was served.
“This ‘as been such a lovely day,” Robert finally said sometime later, visibly touched by the heartwarming gesture of the Joestar couple towards him and his old friends. It was hard to believe that, this exact day, one year ago, he had been spending the day in the streets, just wandering around aimlessly, killing time and causing trouble... “and I wanna thank you both for everythin’. I still don’t know what on Earth did I do so right t’ deserve you both in my life.”
“Just being yourself. That’s what you did.” Jonathan replied with that gentle smile of his aimed at the blond, who was sitting right beside him. Erina nodded. “I don’t think I’ve had the opportunity to say this before, but I think you already know it: You are one of the persons I admire the most. You are so very special, Robert. And I hope you haven't forgotten about the surprise I mentioned in the letter." Jonathan's words, as usual, didn't fail to paint the blond’s cheeks a sweet tone of pink that, hopefully, was not easy to notice. And, the reminder of the letter only served to make that blush last a little longer.
Jojo stood up and walked over to one of the cabinets in the room. From one of the drawers, he pulled something out, something he had previously put in there himself for this moment, and asked Robert to come over, which he did. Everyone's eyes followed them, curious as to what Jonathan had gotten him. Not even Erina knew, as Jonathan had insisted all the time that it was a surprise. Meanwhile, Robert was inwardly pleading for his heart to stop pounding so hard in his chest. Once he was before Jonathan, he was presented with a light-gray small box –though it could very well just be that anything looked small in Jonathan's hands–. It was a bit flat and there was a lavender ribbon on top of it. He nodded, encouraging Robert to open his present right away.
"I hope you like it." The nobleman added, expectant for the other's reaction, watching him open the box, revealing an elegant sterling silver pocket watch –a hunter-case one–, attached to a silver chain. The thing looked so expensive it felt so alien in Robert's hand.
"Jojo, you didn't–"
"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to." He finished his sentence with a kind smile. "You deserve so much more than this, but I hope you like it nevertheless!"
"Are you kiddin' me? I love it!" He beamed. And he wasn’t lying. He did love it, but not because of how fancy and nice it looked. It was because it was a present from the man he loved so dearly. He could have gotten some cheap trinket from him and his reaction would have been entirely the same.
"I'm so happy to hear that! And there's one more thing. Take a look inside." His index finger pointing at the watch. Robert did as requested and carefully opened it. On the back of the lid there was a set of numbers engraved, written in beautiful cursive. It was… a date?
"Jonathan. This ‘s...?" Jonathan nodded.
"The date of the day we met for the first time." And Robert froze on the spot. Of course, there was the ‘embarrassing’ part attached to the memory –that of Tattoo, Li and him trying to gut Jonathan alive while the young man had been doing nothing but seeking for an antidote to save his Father’s life, something that the three ruffians still felt terrible about–, but there was also a unique feeling to it, as that had also been the day that this man had come into his life, ready to change everything in it for good: His views, his wrecked and reckless ways, his life style and the way he perceived life and the world around him, the way he perceived himself, showing him that he was worth something, showing him that there was so much more to life than what that little underworld in the slums had to offer. The day he had so fiercely fallen for this ‘rich boy’ that was nothing like the rest, the one who was a true gentleman in every possible way. The one that had captivated his heart like no other had and that Robert was absolutely convinced was the one and only love of his life.
The blond couldn’t find any words to say. He was genuinely speechless, with his gaze fixed on the engraving for a little longer as the memories and the swirl of emotions engulfed him whole. It was such a ‘small’ detail, but one that meant the world to him, as it showed and left no doubts about Robert’s importance in Jonathan’s life. The moment he raised his gaze, meeting Jojo’s, his eyes were visibly glassy, and that was something that didn’t escape Jonathan. He didn’t make any comments on it, though, figuring it would make Speedwagon feel uncomfortable and exposed so, instead, he pulled him into a tight hug.
“Happy Birthday, Robert.” He said in a soft voice. Speedwagon leaned into the hug, wrapping his arms around Jojo’s larger frame.
“Thank you… Jojo…” He replied in a similar manner, trying his best to choke down his tears, and doing a fairly decent job at it. When the hug ended, they both went back to the table and enjoyed the rest of the evening along with the rest of their friends and family. Outside, the night had fallen over the vast Liverpool skies.
Ever since this celebration had been planned, it had been agreed by all of them that Robert, Li and Tattoo were staying over for a few days after that. There were plenty of guest rooms in the mansion, so having them over would definitely be no issue at all. Since they weren’t going back to London tonight, there was also no need to rush anything, and so conversations and all sorts of activities went on for a while longer than they usually would on a regular visit. Time went fast by, and it was getting really late. They were all tired after such a long and fun day, so everyone went to their respective bedrooms, ready to call it a day.
“Erina, dear.” Jojo called once they were alone in their room. Something seemed to be bothering him.
“Yes?”
“…It might just be me but, did you notice anything different in Robert later today?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know how to describe it, but it felt like…”
“Like something was off?” She looked at him; her soft hands rested on her belly as she remained sitting on the edge of their bed.
“Yes. Yes, something like that.” He said after a moment of pondering about it. “Do you know what it could possibly be? I don’t recall him mentioning any issues before or anything that could be bothering him.” He inquired, hoping she would know something he didn’t and could tell him about. Maybe the two of them had talked about something that could be troubling him during his previous visit?
Erina let out a soft sigh and lightly shook her head.
“Oh, Jojo.” She looked into her husband’s eyes. Even through the dim light from the oil lamp on the nightstand he could see that look she would always give him whenever he was missing something important that was a bit obvious. It wasn’t a condescending look at all. All the opposite, really. “You have not noticed it yet, have you?”
And her words threw him off. Completely.
“Notice...what?”
“I could tell you, but I think it would be best for you, and for Robert, that you find that answer out for yourself, dear.”
Jonathan continued staring at her; his thick brows knitted together. He was infinitely puzzled still. She stood up and walked towards him. She cupped his face in her hands and gently pulled him closer, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.
“Look. I won’t mind if you want to go and talk with him. Knowing him, I’m sure he is going to be up for a while longer, and I’m convinced he will appreciate your company through the night.” Which was something both knew for sure. It was no secret that Speedwagon was a night owl, and him staying over at someone’s place probably wouldn’t change that the slightest. Jonathan nodded. He then kissed Erina in return before he left.
Meanwhile, a few doors down the hall, in his room, Robert was leaning against the door frame that led to the balcony. He had already taken his coat and waistcoat off, both of which he had left on the footboard of the four poster bed. The turmoil inside his head (and heart) had gotten considerably worse as hours had ticked away, so he had opted for making himself comfortable –as comfortable as one could in that condition– and take a breath of fresh air while, a bit ironically, having a smoke, hoping that would soothe him enough so he could get some sleep later that night. He lit a cigarette and stared outside, softly humming to a tune he had heard some time ago, when he visited the Caribbean. His room had quite a nice view of the gardens their whole group had walked through earlier. They looked so different under the moonlight, but still as beautiful as before. It was a really nice change from the urban landscapes he was so used to back in London. He remained like that for a moment, enjoying the chilly but gentle wind of Fall. His tie was undone, and his shirt was open, allowing that chilly wind to gently brush against the exposed skin of his scarred chest. He put the cigarette between his lips and slipped a hand into the pocket of his trousers, producing the silver pocket watch Jonathan had given him earlier, idly fiddling with it and running his fingers over the smooth surface as he took a drag of his cigarette. His gaze was fixed on the timepiece now and he could see the way the moonlight shone so beautiful on it’s surface. His mind, suddenly, decided to go back to earlier that day, to that moment when Jonathan had hugged him for the second time, and he felt that rush of emotions strike him all over again.
“You’re such a bloody fool, Robert…” He whispered to himself. Being so madly in love with a nobleman. And not just that, but a married gentleman. His friend’s husband at that. And, while said friend was absolutely okay with those tender feelings he had for him, and even encouraged him to take the next step whenever he felt ready for it, if he ever did, he still felt so silly about it all. He had no leads that Jonathan was… well, like that. No leads or hints that he had somewhat of a taste for men, like an invert man such as Robert did. And not just that, but he was also scared to death of not only being rejected by the man he loved, but he was also scared of being seen by him as nothing but a disgusting pervert as well. The sole idea of Jonathan telling him that he didn’t want anything to do with him anymore was frightening and painful enough to make the former thug want to keep his mouth and heart shut as much as he could, as much as it hurt. He’d rather remain a close friend and be by his side always, until the very end, than risk losing him forever…
A soft knock on his room’s door echoed through the room, dragging him back to the present time.
“C’mon in.” Speedwagon raised his voice enough for the visitor to hear and slipped the watch back into his pocket. He looked over his shoulder when he heard the door open and then click shut a second later. Even in the darkness that was engulfing the room now that the oil lamps were off, he could still make out the huge silhouette of the Joestar heir walking towards him. The blond turned on his heels, failing to realize just how ‘improper’ he must have been looking at the time (etiquette wasn’t always his forte, especially with an upbringing like his and the fact that he was still a man from the worst part of the slums). “Oi, Jojo.” He greeted, raising his hand a little.
“H-Hey.” He said once he got to Speedwagon’s side, mirroring that gesture.
“I thought you were with Erina. ‘s somethin’ the matter?” He asked, genuinely curious, and even a tad worried.
“No, no. Everything is fine! I mean, not everything, but yes. Just...”
“Are you sure? ‘cause this ‘s definitely not like you.” His concern growing deeper. “Do you need t’ talk, perhaps?”
“Yeah, I guess...” His voice trailed off. He looked, and sounded, so lost for a moment. Robert had no clue what this was all about, but he was going to try his best to be of aid. “It’s about earlier…”
Oh…
“Yeah…? What ‘bout it?”
“I couldn’t help but notice that something was kind of, well, off with you…”
“...”
“Erina noticed it, too. I tried to ask her about it. She seems to know something, but she wouldn’t tell me anything. She said it would be best for us to talk.”
Robert couldn’t help a soft chuckle, exhaling a bit of smoke in the process.
“Don’t get me wrong for what I’m ‘bout t’ say, please, but that woman ‘s an absolute angel. I can truly see why you love ‘er so much.” He admitted as he looked away into the horizon once more. Jonathan smiled in response, finding no fails or lies in that whole statement about his sweet Erina. His gaze followed Robert’s and, after a moment of silence and even a little of hesitation, he tried again.
“So…? Something’s been bothering you…?” He asked cautiously, not wishing to upset Speedwagon in any possible way. The blond hesitated to respond, taking a couple seconds to think, and re-think, his answer. He suddenly felt cold, as if his blood had been drained from his body, and a chill ran down his spine as realization fell down on him. There was no turning back now, was it?
“...It ‘s not like there’s somethin’ botherin’ me per se… It s just… somethin’ else. Somethin’ that’s been goin’ on for quite a long time now and that I, shamefully, ‘aven’t had the ballocks t’ be frank ‘bout it.” He admitted, unconsciously taking another drag of his cigarette before putting it off on the ashtray that was sitting on top of the bureau by the door. Jonathan’s face was colored in concern after hearing those words. It had to be something quite undesirable if it had lasted for so long while also making Speedwagon want to keep his mouth shut on the matter all this time, he figured.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner about it?” His voice reflecting that same concern that was plastered all over his face. “I would have helped you out as soon as you told me!” There was a tinge of pain in Robert’s features, and the moonlight made sure Jonathan didn’t miss that as the shorter man turned to look at him.
“Haven’t you noticed it yet, Jojo...?” The brunet remained silent, trying to piece it all together.
“I…” He stammered. Robert gulped hard and locked eyes with him. It was now or never, right? Right.
“I love you.”
“What…?”
“You ‘eard me right!” He nearly shouted. “I love you, Jonathan…! I love you so damn much! And I always ‘ave ever since you came into my life all that time ago...” He said, trying to keep himself collected as much as he could. His fists were clenched into tight balls at his sides while hot tears threatened him, stinging his eyes. Jojo stared at him, wide eyed, and at a complete loss for words. “I’d been keepin’ that t' myself all this time ‘cause… ‘cause I was scared t’ death of losin’ you. I still am!” He took a deep breathe. It was still hard for Robert to conceive that a ruthless gang leader such as himself could be this vulnerable before someone else, but here he was, exposing himself once more, though in a completely open manner this time for a change, confessing all those feelings he had tried so hard to keep to himself. “I don’t expect you t’ return my feelings. Bloody ‘ell, I will even understand if you don’t wanna see my disgustin’ arse ever again, and I promise I will never show m’self ‘round ‘ere anymore! I just… I just… really ‘ad t’ let all this out somehow before it ate me alive whole...” The pain was almost tangible in his voice as he uttered all those words.
And, suddenly, all those signs Jonathan had seen countless times coming from him before made so much sense. So much more that he couldn’t help but feel so inept, and like the biggest fool around for being so painfully oblivious to it all while even Erina had noticed it so long ago but, also, for having forced himself to keep his own feelings towards this man before him locked away…
“I’m...sorry for disappointin’ you and not bein’ who you thought I was, Mister Joestar…” He spoke again, even shaking a little, and he lowered his eyes, bringing back the formalities now that his chances of being on the list of undesirable people in this household had increased exponentially...
...Or so he thought.
“What on Earth are you talking about!?” The younger male grabbed him by the shoulders, making him raise his head and look back into Jojo’s face. There was a glint of something in his eyes. Something that Speedwagon could not quite read at first but that seemed like… pain? He had no time to ponder too much about it as Jonathan immediately pulled him into yet another tight hug, though, this time he was holding on to him like his very life depended on it, yet careful not to crush him in the process. “There is no way you could ever disappoint me!!” He sounded hurt, and he legitimately was. “The only one I am disappointed with is myself for being so blind and not being able to return your feelings sooner…” He paused, trying to find the right words to voice what was going on through his mind. “...I think I’d known about it all for a bit. I just… didn’t say anything for that same reason: I was afraid of being wrong in my assumptions and losing you forever! And, also, Erina… I… I didn’t know how she would react to the news that I had a special fondness for you, a special fondness as intense as that I have for her, and I didn’t want to make her feel like I didn’t love her anymore, much less now that she is carrying our baby.” The brunet tightened the hug a little; his fingers gently digging into the fabric of Robert’s shirt as he finally opened up, his hot tears rolling down and soaking Robert’s shirt. There was nothing but absolute honesty in his every word, and Robert could easily notice that. “I was so confused because I love her so much, and never have stopped loving her either. At first I was not aware that it was possible to love two different persons in the same manner, and so fiercely, at the same time. It… It took me a while to figure that out on my own and, still, I decided to keep quiet about it because I didn’t know how to bring it up to her, and how to bring it up to you as well. I tried to convince myself that… all of this, all those signs you gave off… as well as everything I was feeling… that it was all in my head. Guess I only made a fool out of myself in the end, didn’t I?”
Robert pulled Jojo away just enough so they could make eye contact once more. It broke his heart to see his gentleman break down like this.
“Jojo... dear. Lord…” He struggled to find the right words to say and could feel his own tears finally rolling down his face. There was so much in what Jonathan had just said that he could relate to in his own way... “You ‘aven’t done anythin’ wrong! Besides… It 's also my fault that you didn’t know for sure just ‘ow much I’ve always loved you until now! And I’m really sorry ‘bout that… I really wish I ‘ad the guts t’ be open with you ‘bout that sooner instead of tryin’ t’ hide it all and pretend nothin’ else was goin’ on...” Both men, remained in silence for a moment, still close to each other. It was then that Jonathan spoke once more.
“I guess… that makes both of us a pair of fools…”
“The biggest of ‘em all, I’m afraid…” Both of them shared a soft laugh despite those tears still wetting their faces; their foreheads pressed together as they did. One of Jojo’s hands went up to tenderly cup Speedwagon’s chin with his thumb and index finger.
“Robert… May I…?”
“Goddamnit, Jojo…” Robert let out a soft huff and cupped Jonathan’s face in his hands; his little smile not fading away the slightest. “Just fuckin’ kiss me…!”
Jonathan tilted Robert’s face slightly to the side, allowing himself a better access. His other hand went to rest on the small of the blond’s back, and he finally pressed their lips together in a long awaited kiss that Robert gladly returned in the same loving manner, both of them pouring into it all those feelings they had been holding back for so long.
They remained in each other’s arms for a little longer after the kiss ended, refusing to let go just like that.
“Would you… stay with me tonight? I mean, only if you think Erina will be alrigh’ with that. I wouldn’t wanna get on ‘er bad side ever.” Robert whispered as he rested his head on Jonathan’s chest. He could hear the soft rumble that was his chuckle. They both knew very well that Erina could be quite scary when she wished to.
“That will be completely alright.” He said with a full smile on his face. “We should go inside, though. It’s getting colder, and I don’t want you to catch a cold or worse!”
“This is nothin’ compared t’ what Ogre Street ‘as me used to, darlin’.”
“Yeah, I suppose so, but... About that, I know that you along with Tattoo and Li have turned down the offer of moving in with us countless times already, but I must insist once more.”
“I told you, dear, we don’t wanna be a nuisance t’ either of you.”
“But you wouldn’t be! Besides… I want. No, I need Erina and you, my two loves, by my side.” Speedwagon let out yet another soft chuckle.
“Blimey... You’re really the biggest daisy I’ve ever met, Jonathan.” He said fondly, “But I will gladly take you up on that this time. Little Jojo might need their Uncle ‘round when they arrive, and I’m sure Erina might appreciate some friendly company as well. And, much like yourself...” He stood on his tiptoes, gently bringing Jojo’s face down by his chin a little. “...I also need my one true love by my side.” His voice soft, sealing those words with yet another kiss under the pale moonlight.
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Final notes: This story took so long for me to get it done from start to end, but it's finally here!
This is, I think, the first time I actually write something for the lovely jonaeri/jonawagon ot3~ :'D I also loved writing those bits with Robert and Erina together. They were super fun, and I also loved the idea of Robert happily telling her about the gay codes from that time and just kind of getting her into that little secret world, not only because Erina is the ultimate ally, but also, because, given the taboos in Victorian England, it's pretty much a given that Robert usually had to keep a lot of things from most people, sometimes friends included, so he really appreciates those time whenever he's allowed to be himself and is able to share some of that with others. Needless to say how much I love writing jonawagon and putting them in sweet and cozy scenes~
I can honestly say I'm pleased with how this story turned out, but I would definitely love to hear your thoughts on it!
Feedback, likes, reblogs and everything else (shares outside of Tumblr and Ao3, too) are always encouraged and highly appreciated!!
Thanks for reading!
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thethirdwheel404 · 4 years
Text
Med Series Rewatch (#12)
S3 E12: Born This Way.
Episode description: Dr. Manning and Dr. Choi are faced with a tough decision.
Literally when are they not.
Okay, last episode ended with the first Ava/Connor kiss, so this episode should be a rollercoaster of emotions.
let’s get into it.
- okay, already we’re starting in connor’s apartment, so cue ava walking in bc they slept together?
- i think its hilarious that her casual clothing is.. a flannel. like lmao idk
- it is so unbelievably funny and stupid to have a one night stand with someone you work closely with. i mean come on
- never forget that dr. ava bekker has a fish tank
- this is exhausting. the tentative back and forth is so fucking exhausting
- another bit of evidence. ava is never not confident, and especially not to this extent, and she never follows connor’s lead. so, the fact that she is standing back and waiting for him to make the decision? stupid.
- it screams that she is having a moment of anxiety, which is why she isn’t up to make the decisions in the exchange.
-to be clear: what i’m claiming here is that the only reason ava actually got with connor was bc she was having a moment of anxiety because he was the only person she had built a relationship with after living in this city for six months.
- when connor says that he has plans you can see her fold in on herself. this stems from a place of anxiety
- remember when they did surgery on the panda? that’s when the show peaked
- ava in her lab coat will never not get me. especially with the gloves, running towards a patient (very hot)
- connor still looks kinda looks like a mess but ava is immaculate here like what dude out of your league
- ava asking the family questions (ik this is standard doctor stuff but showing worry, interest, all that jazz)
- okay, see here! here! ava calls connor out, saying that his procedure is too invasive. before, ava’s procedures where invasive, which everyone used as evidence to her being super cold, but now, we see that she purely does what she deems best for the patient at hand
- also, once again, the concern ava feels. you can hear it in her voice. we forget this part of her way too often
- the smile on ava’s face when she gives the family good news. god wept
- and then more concern when connor tells her they need to put him on ecmo
- the reason that ava is frustrated that connor didn’t go with her decision for their patient care is because she truly believes that if they don’t go with her treatment, he will die. don’t make it anything different. don’t argue she’s frustrated because he’s not listening to her. don’t make it anything about their relationship. she puts their patients care first and foremost
- there’s a stark shift in her demeanor when in the room with the parents vs. her alone with connor. in the room, you can see she’s stewing. she’s sucking on her teeth, she’s holding her emotions. she has control, she’s a professional. out of the room, she has full reign to be as mad with connor as she wants, which she does.
-AVA RAN INTO THE ROOM AGAIN WITH THE LAB COAT AND GLOVES AND IDK IT JUST HAS ME FEELING SOME KINDA WAY
- the way ava acknowledges everyone in the room (the nurse just informed them that the drug was running, ava nodded. just a little thing but yk)
- ava shaking her head at this sad, sad man (connor, who is floundering for a solution and misplacing his anger)
- their entire relationship is misplaced anger
- the fact that the last shot of the scene has connor in the foreground looking over the bed and ava watching from the door but ava is the one in focus - some cool cinematography points
- IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE MAGGIE GOES TO JAIL
- med really went all over the place
- JUST THE AMOUNT OF CONCERN ON AVA’S FACE. im gonna say it again. look me in the eyes and tell this women is a psychopath. the med writers are fucking insane
- and when the parents ask ava if she disagreed with connor’s treatment decision, she has every opportunity (and right, frankly) to throw him under the bus and undermine him. but still, she says “it’s a complicated situation.” like. she never ever makes it personal, or loses her head. especially not to a patient. and she doesn’t have to defend connor. he’s made a lot of mistakes, and taken it out on her a bunch of times. yet she’s still nice to him, when he’s not even in the room
- it’s insane
- this is also the legendary scene where she comforts the family. there’s not a lot that i haven’t already said. this is the scene that most exemplifies ava’s humanity, the way she seems to feel, at least residually, what these parents are going through (since she obviously hasn’t gone through anything like this herself [unless.]). the way she kneels down, and gets on the family’s personal level.
- I... okay listen. I absolutely HATE the parallel they pull her between the line “I believe whenever you do something out of love, it can never really be wrong” and connor. especially because they show him when she says that line. and yeah, there’s obviously a connection that can be drawn between the meaning of that line and her sociopathic behavior in s4 and s5.
- it honestly feels like when writing s4, the writers hit so much of a wall they just googled the most ‘iconic’ ava moments and thought ‘how can i use these in the worst way possible?’ That’s honestly probably what they did (ava’s first interaction with connor - ‘you better watch yourself,’ this moment). There is no nuance to her character in s4. it is astoundingly terrible.
- lets move on
- THE WAY CONNOR LOOKS AT AVA HER MAKES ME FUCKING SCARED. HE HAS NO EMOTION ON HIS FACE. I know that we’ve been screen capping ava throughout this series but can someone find pictures of connor looking at ava bc, i need yall to remember how weird he looks
- like, no shade to connor, but just the emotion is undecipherable, but it is in no way a good one
- ava getting concerned (and looking slightly embarrassed) when she sees connor watching her by the door. obviously yeah she’s gonna feel weird you just caught her in a very uncharacteristic moment, outwardly expressing comfort. fucking back off
- i am so fucking protective of her and i demand he no longer look at her. it’s banned
- sam abrams looking at sarah’s dad’s head ct and asking if he’s a criminal. oh boy 
- from a writer’s perspective, the storyline with sarah’s dad is actually pretty good
- ava ran into the room with gloves and lab coat again, if anybody wanted to know
- for the record, want it to be noted, ava was the one who realized that it was an issue with the machine again, so you could say she fixed connor’s mistake, again. so.
- connor making a big deal about handing the reins over to ava (if he really was selfless he wouldn’t have made a whole big thing, he still has an enormous hero complex)
- handing off control was very hard for him. boo hoo get some fucking humility I think they sell it at walgreens
- sarah fucking walking across the ed like she’s going to war. dramatic
- med really said pedophiles deserve rights with this ep huh
- anyway
- the way ava smiles
- the way she smiles when she turns him down. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? SHE TURNED HIM DOWN. in the aspect of the story i cannot remember why she turned him down, but hey, i’m happy
- and it only further proves my story that the hook up came from a place of anxiety, and this is her realizing how silly that decision was. and her smiling was her laughing at herself for making such a stupid decision
- ALSO. LET’S TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT THIS DECISION, THE DECISION TO TURN HIM DOWN, HAPPENED IN THE SAME EPISODE WHERE SHE SAID ‘IF YOU DO SOMETHING FOR LOVE, IT’S NEVER REALLY WRONG’
- like she literally says ‘last night was a mistake.’
- honestly, it’s fucking hilarious. connor deserves nothing
- and the confusion on his face when she walks away. hilarious
- if you wanted to take this the reesker route you could argue that the idea of ‘a decision of love’ was ava coming to terms with her slight little crush, though i don’t know how clean it would be if you argue that she panicked and told herself those were feelings meant for connor. idk, i’ll have to think about it further
- watching sarah let herself be betrayed by both herself and the people around in the story surrounding her dad will never not be hard to watch
This was a very good episode, character wise, for all the reasons stated above. It just hammers home the point of how strong a character Ava was. Key word, of course, being ‘was’. My conclusion over the last two episodes is that this specific sexual encounter with Connor was born out of a moment of anxiety from Ava. I suggest that over that last few weeks or days she has been experiencing some amount of anxiety out of having been living in Chicago for six months and only having one interpersonal relationship. So, that idea kind of built where she told herself the reason she only had one relationship was because she was in love with him. Then. after going through the story with this kid and comforting his parents, she realizes that she never actually loved Connor and maybe has a thing for someone else. I’m glad that I keep coming up with more ideas for this character, I was afraid the initial theory was somewhat of a one-off, but this only proves the idea of the complexity to Ava’s character.
I’m sure it’ll get worse from here, though.
as always, thanks for sticking through
-
read the rest here:
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Extra
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marcilled · 5 years
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The Xylo ARG: a summary
Have you or someone you follow been getting cryptic asks like the one above? They always just say one of the two following things:
a303d61a3714b71b459a9e65921078 OR a303d61a-371-4b71-b45-9a9e65921078
Well, good work, you’ve managed to stumble into a new tumblr ARG which I’ve taken to calling the “Xylo ARG” or “Shiloh ARG”. I’ve already talked about this on my blog already, but I thought it might be a good idea to have a post summarizing what the hell is up with these asks and what the deal with this ARG is.
The main blog and focus of this ARG is here: @xylophonetic
If you haven’t already read my previous post about this, you should check that out. It includes some speculation and theories that I didn’t include in this post, most notably my theories about this string of characters being a UUID, as well as some observations that this hex number actually corresponds to 5 unique colors encoded in hexadecimal.
Since my previous post, there’s been some developments, but sadly I and the others I’ve been discussing this with over discord haven’t come up with any major leads, or if we have, they haven’t led anywhere yet.
That being said, I thought it might be useful to make a post summarizing some of what we already know about this. I’ve never done an ARG and don’t even really know much about them, but I was one of the people sent one of these asks so in a way I’m a small part of it now. I figured I’d make this post since I think I was the first person to really analyze what was going on here and notice that there’s an actual blog associated with these asks people have been getting. Obvs a lot of these discoveries weren’t made by me tho, I’ve not devoted much time to discovering things, there’s a few others involved in trying to figure this out too. (y’all, feel free to hop in the replies/reblogs if you want people to know you’re helping with this).
Anyways, let’s get onto the actual post. This might get lengthy, so it’ll be below the cut. Heads up- this post contains creepy imagery, depictions which might be described as “body horror”, as well as mentions of parental abuse. All posts referenced should have a link provided unless they were deleted before the creation of this post. Got it? Let’s dive in.
First off, let’s recap on how this all started, and how me and a few others came to realize that this was, indeed, an ARG we’re looking at. (Presumably, anyways- all of the happenings are too strange to just be the work of some crafty aesthetic blogger… probably.)
It all started with a couple of popular tumblr users getting asks like the one linked at the top of the post here. Just this cryptic hexadecimal string, sometimes with hyphens, sometimes without. It’s unclear how many people these anonymous asks were sent to, but if you look up the text you’ll find a couple other popular tumblr users that were sent the ask. It’s always anonymous, and I don’t know of anyone who’s received direct messages from the blog owner(s).
After pondering it a bit, I decided to look up the ask I got on tumblr, and noticed a blog which had this string of characters as its url. And that’s where things started getting interesting.
The blogs
The main blog relating to this ARG appears to be https://xylophonetic.tumblr.com/. Her URL has changed a couple times since we first discovered it, the url was originally a303d61a3714b71b459a9e65921078. From now on I’ll be referring to this blog/blog owner as “Shiloh”, as that is and has been the name stated on the blog. (Also- her pronouns are she/hers as mentioned here.)
There is also another blog relating to this story, which I hadn’t mentioned in the previous post (because at the time we did not know about it / it had not been created yet). This blog originally had the url a303d61a, but has since taken the previous URL that shiloh used: https://a303d61a3714b71b459a9e65921078.tumblr.com/
This new blog was originally titled “Safe?”, and doesn’t appear to have any name associated as far as anyone can tell, so from here on I’ll be referring to them as “safe”. It’s unclear if “safe” is a character that has been mentioned by Shiloh before, but it’s certain that they are associated with the ARG because they swapped urls with shiloh. At time of writing, the “Safe?” blog has had its title changed twice, first to a series of three emojis, then to an eye emoji. We will continue to call them “Safe” until there is a more appropriate name discovered/decided on.
There is also, technically, a third blog- this blog uses the URL previously used by Safe, and it appears that this blog may just be for keeping the url hoarded. However, there’s still some interesting things on this blog, and even some possible hints. The blog is https://a303d61a.tumblr.com/ and will go unnamed unless things begin to appear on that blog as well.
Okay, now that we know a bit about how this started, and what blogs to be on the lookout for, what is there to know? Well, if you take a look at Shiloh’s blog, you might not even realize what you’re looking at is a part of an ARG at first. From first glance, it honestly just looks like an average aesthetic blog. She reblogs lots of aesthetic type posts from various bloggers, a lot of which may not mean much in the long run, but some of the posts she reblogs do give a bit of insight on some of the different “characters” in this emerging story. However, she also sometimes posts very cryptic things- many original posts contain very strange and cryptic photos or text that’s been purposefully obfuscated or otherwise altered. The same string of text “a303d61a…” is present throughout the blog’s history. There’s also other posts from Shiloh that imply that she is (or, was) in danger, or that she was sick, that she’s afraid of certain other characters, etc.
So, these “characters”… who are they? There are quite a few distinct “characters” involved in this, some seemingly more relevant than others. I’ll give a brief overview of what we know about all of them, but first, I should say what is known about the central character here: Shiloh.
Shiloh
While we don’t know a lot about Shiloh herself, there are a few things we can say for sure. Shiloh likes to reblog things she likes or thinks are interesting, much like your run of the mill aesthetic blogger. However, she also posts her own strange, cryptic photos sometimes- often times with many filters and photo manipulation used to make them look strange or hard to decipher.
Shiloh seems prone to deleting posts often, for one reason or another- or posting things then rapidly deleting them. This has been noted to happen even late into the night without much rhyme or reason. The “Safe?” blog is sometimes used to archive some of these deleted posts, although not all of the important/noteworthy posts are actually saved in this way. Shiloh has even been shown to go back and frequently edit old posts, sometimes multiple times. Her (and the other blogs’) urls, titles, icons, blog colors and headers have been known to change at random.
She also seems to not have total control over her blog/account- she’s posted before about her url or icon changing out of her control, and seeming confused or upset by it. See here. She’s also posted before about how she’s “regaining control” and such.
As well, it seems that for a time, Shiloh fell ill with some unknown ailment. Or rather, unknown to her- “they won’t tell me”. It’s unknown who “they” is in this context, but Shiloh seemed sad that she could not see Nat any longer- and also that her mother was preventing her from going out due to this illness. Notably, after posting this, she posted “im not a monster im not”. Perhaps people, possibly her mother, were telling her her illness made her monstrous??
Yesterday evening (may 16), she posted that her fever is gone and she is doing better now. Perhaps she has recovered from her illness– although she still seems confused about what is happening.
Aside from those things, she has also posted a photo here, tagged as “#me”:
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(original post)
There’s a lot of uncanny images like this on her blog, and I can’t include every one of them- but this is, supposedly, Shiloh. There’s also another post in her “#me” tag, but it is simply a reblog of some art. Not sure if it is important.
Safe?
I’ve covered most of what we currently know about Shiloh herself, but there are many other “characters” at play in this story. Most of these characters we only know about based upon things Shiloh has said about them, or posts she has tagged them in. “Safe?”, on the other hand, we only know about from their blog, and how they interact with Shiloh.
Safe is a bit of a mystery right now. It’s unclear if they(?) are even one of the characters mentioned by Shiloh or not, or if they are an outsider completely. Regardless of who they are, they seem hostile towards Shiloh.
Safe’s blog was not known until two days ago (may 15th) around ~4pm. When we discovered it, our initial thought was that the blog could be unrelated to the ARG itself, and it could potentially just be somebody who was following along and taking time out to archive the posts. Shiloh is known to delete posts sometimes after all, including ones that seem pretty important.
As time would tell though, it became clear that Safe is another actor in this story, although they seem to be even more mysterious than Shiloh.
Safe seems to reblog many of Shiloh’s original posts, sometimes adding tags or even editing the post in certain ways. We have reason to suspect that Safe is a malevolent force, as they have reblogged the photo of Shiloh and tagged the picture “#it”, in spite of her specifically requesting not to be called it. They’ve also reblogged posts from her that say “cold” and tagged it “freeze”, and a post saying “warm” with the tag “burn”, as if wishing harm on Shiloh.
Nonetheless, some of the most compelling clues we’ve gotten yet have come from the Safe blog. Particularly, it was the Safe blog which posted the following:
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Sadly, the post was later deleted from both blogs, and there is no web archive of it, or fullsize versions of the right and left pictures. Here’s the fullsize of the center picture, though:
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This post originally came from Shiloh’s blog, although I believe the images were not in the original post– Safe seems to have a habit of editing Shiloh’s posts and adding new things.
These pictures are tantalizing because of the caption: “room 371″. If you’ll notice, 371 is a subset of the string of text tying all of this together…
a303d61a-371-4b71-b45-9a9e65921078
The significance of this is currently unknown. However, there was some speculation that Shiloh may have been hospitalized due to her illness- these images do look somewhat like a hospital. However, this conflicts with what Shiloh herself has said- she is at home. So, what is room 371? We just don’t know, at the moment.
Another series of posts from Safe that just happened today only further the mysteries surrounding them. Today, they reblogged the post in which Shiloh said her fever was gone and edited the text to make it say “SHE MADE ME SICK”. It’s unclear who “she” is, in this context- but this seems important.
Also today, safe changed their blog title from “Safe?” to a series of three emojis- a safety pin, an old key, and a dagger. This is significant because of another thing I’ll bring up later. At time of posting, they’ve changed their blog title yet again to be just an eye emoji.
Beyond the posts about room 371, and other mysterious edits and reblogs of Shiloh’s content, not much is known for sure about Safe. There are some theories that Safe is actually Shiloh’s mother, or that they are a reflection of Shiloh’s inner thoughts and feelings about herself, but for the time being these are simply theories with not enough proof to back them up yet.
Other Characters (Nat, Melody, Zach, Brian)
Now, it is time to get into the other named characters in all of this. These other characters we only know about from things that Shiloh has said, or posts that she has reblogged and tagged in their name. For some characters, we only know of them at all due to her tags.
First, let’s start with “Nat”. Nat is one of Shiloh’s best friends, and clearly someone she cares about a lot. Shiloh was very sad when she could no longer see her after falling ill. A scroll through Shiloh’s Nat tag will show a variety of posts, although there seem to be some strong connections to love, tarot, and cats. Also, sometimes, space.
Something interesting to note is that in the tags of this post, Shiloh seemed to imply that Nat also has a blog, but “she changed urls”, and Shiloh doesn’t seem to know what her url is anymore, simply saying “weird”. While this is purely speculation, it’s possible that Nat’s blog could have been tampered with, in the same way that Shiloh’s was previously (possibly by the person who runs the Safe blog?)
After Nat, we have a minor character: Melody. It’s possible they could be more important, but right now, I can’t find any posts where Shiloh directly mentions melody- we only know of melody from various posts tagged with that name. Interestingly, one of the earliest posts on the blog (and an original post, too) depicts a pair of boots and is tagged as “#melody”. There’s a slight pattern of celestial bodies and plants, but nothing too significant to comment on here.
After Melody is another minor character: Zach. Here’s Shiloh’s #zach tag. A common theme here seems to be certain mammals (an opossum and a squirrel) and two pictures of pocket knives. Recently, Shiloh has posted that zach is a friend of hers. Other than that, not much is known of Zach.
That brings us to Brian- another interesting character. Here’s Shiloh’s #brian tag. There’s a few original posts here, with some cartoon characters dancing and hugging. There’s also the same pocket knives that zach was tagged in.
On the surface there might not seem to be a lot here about Brian, but in actuality I have reason to suspect that Brian may be Shiloh’s brother. I believe our first hint at this was this post:
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It would make sense that her brother would be there at her home, albeit unexpectedly. Another post that re-affirms this hunch is this now deleted post:
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the tag #brother was put alongside #brian here. Also, there is this post which also mentions there being a brother:
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There may be other characters, as there are a lot of tags in use on the blog. However, these 4 are the most obvious ones, having names that are… just ordinary people names.
Mother and Father
Beyond the already named characters, there’s two more distinct characters mentioned on Shiloh’s blog- “Mother” as well as “Father”. There are very few posts about Father, but a great deal about Mother. I’ll just preface this right now by saying that Shiloh’s mother seems abusive and openly hostile/aggressive towards Shiloh. As for her father, not much is known of him, but he seems to be absent from Shiloh’s life, likely due to having divorced her mother at some point in the past.
If you take a quick scroll through her #mother tag, you can see that there is a strong association with birds. This seems like a very consistent thing- perhaps Shiloh’s mother is a bird. Or maybe she just connects her with birds for some reason. Either way, if there’s bird imagery, there’s a good chance that it relates to Shiloh’s mother (although there was one bird image tagged as #brian, too).
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Some of the earliest posts on the blog make references to mother in this way, too:
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Another motif in the photos tagged as #mother are glowing eyes:
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As discussed before, Shiloh’s mother seems abusive. Here’s some posts showing Shiloh expressing fear of her mother:
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As well as some recent posts from earlier today (may 17) which tell a lot about how Shiloh feels about her mother:
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(source for the last one)
It has been stated that Mother doesn’t like any of Shiloh’s friends:
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It’s also been shown that Shiloh’s mother tells her she can’t go out and can’t see nat anymore due to her illness. I also speculated earlier that her mother may have been the one to call her a “monster”.
Additionally, this cryptic original post is in the #mother tag:
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full tags are #fear, #heart, #love, #mother, #love love.
There’s a lot of hidden text in this image, including the mysterious hex string, as well as phrases and words such as “fear of the heart of love”, “like anything”, etc. It is a bit hard to make out, and difficult to reverse all the filters done to make the text illegible to begin with.
Adding to the series of mysteries surrounding Mother, earlier today Shiloh posted a series of pictures that appear to depict a path to a river. When asked about them, Shiloh stated that “mom doesnt like the river”, and that “she thinks its dirty or something”. Curiously, she says that her mom is scared of fish.
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There have also been some theories that Mother is the one running Safe’s blog, antagonizing Shiloh when she gets the chance. There’s credence given to this theory by taking into account this post, where Shiloh talks about having her blog changed without her control over it. In the post, you can see that her icon was changed to this image:
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An edited version of the full photo remains on Safe’s blog. This is a photo that was created by a neural network (source), and contains many bird-like features, so we’ve taken to calling this picture “mother bird”. The fact that Shiloh’s icon was changed to this while the blog was not under her control seems to imply that her mother was the one messing with her blog. Considering how much urls swapped between Safe and Shiloh, it seems as though there’s a link between Mother and Safe, although, again, this is speculation.
There is also this post on Safe’s blog, which depicts feathers / knives side by side, along with a caption from Shiloh saying “she’s coming”:
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The post is now deleted from Shiloh’s blog. Given the feathers/bird motif here, and referring to a hostile entity as “she”, it’s probably safe to assume that Shiloh was referring to Mother.
At the very least, we can say that both Mother and Safe are openly hostile/antagonistic towards Shiloh, if not the same person.
As for “father”, there’s only a few posts referring to a father, and only recently have there been any original posts. Shiloh seems to associate him with suited businessmen, and there are many posts implying that her parents had a very testy relationship. It seems as though they divorced, and now Shiloh’s father is no longer in her life. Aside from some possible resentment possibly stemming from him not being there any longer, it’s hard to say much about Father, other than that he’s not around any longer.
Other tags
There are many tags in use on Shiloh’s blog, many of them seemingly mundane, something you’d expect from any run of the mill aesthetic blog. Still, there are a few tags which incite some intrigue, or are worth speculating about.
One such tag is #home. Shiloh makes many references to “home”- never “my house” or “where i live” or any other word- only ever referring to it as simply “home”. The images in the tag are often very lush and green depictions of nature- they could just be pictures of landscapes, or sometimes they are pictures of humble cottages in the wilderness. Sometimes they can depict houses that are rotting and decaying. All these pictures seem to signify what “home” is to Shiloh, and I think that “home” is a specific location.
To back up this theory, there’s also the tag #camp. There’s not a lot in this tag, but it seems to evoke this feeling of some summer camp or something that Shiloh went to once perhaps. Maybe “camp” could come up again in later posts? I guess we’ll see.
There’s also the tag #you, which would seem to be the opposite of the #me tag. However, there’s just some songs and other various reblogs in this tag.
Misc. observations / speculation
The new(?) blog at the url https://a303d61a.tumblr.com/ may be otherwise empty, but the blog’s title and description are somewhat curious. As of time of writing, this is the entire contents of their blog:
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My device doesn’t have a new enough version of unicode to support displaying some of these emojis, but the emojis in the title are:
safety pin 🧷 old key 🗝 dagger 🗡
The emojis included in the blog’s description are:
rainbow 🌈 tooth 🦷 scissors ✂️ wilted flower 🥀
Also worth noting, is that these three emojis were briefly displayed as the title of Safe’s blog earlier today.
I get the feeling that these emojis may be a pretty significant hint. Something that reinforces this suspicion in me is the fact that Safe made a post tagging Shiloh’s blog, similar to how this new blog made a post tagging Safe. However, the post Safe made includes a safety pin emoji, which is one of the three emojis included in this blog’s title.
This is purely speculation, so feel free not to believe me, or reinterpret it how you wish of course, but: Perhaps Shiloh’s blog is like a safety pin, holding the story as we know it together. But, what we really need to find is the key. The key will lead us further, until we find the dagger.
I also find the emojis used in the description curious, because Shiloh has posted pictures of scissors (actually, lawn clippers?) before. Additionally, Safe has made a post about teeth and eyes hurting before. Interestingly, this post was edited from the original– Shiloh’s post was about her mother seeming angry, but Safe changed it to say “teeth hurt eyes hurt”.
Another potential lead that @ skippsblipps discovered, was a pattern in this old post from Shiloh.
Aside from the obvious secret message mixed in amongst the text, there seems to be a pattern of when the “a303d…” string of text repeats, and when there is something other than the original “a303d…” string. In their words:
“if we count only where the code was exactly the original code, its 6 , 1 , 2 , 1 , 4 , 2 if we count where the code deviates, its 1 , 3 , 3 , 3 , 1″
There’s a chance that this post could be absolutely random nonsense, or that we were only meant to look for the words within the text, but perhaps there’s something more here.
Closing thoughts
I said it at the start, and I’ll say it again: I don’t know a damn thing about ARGs. And, hell, after spending hours compiling stuff for this post, I’m still pretty clueless about where this one might lead. My main hope with this post was to inform anyone who’s curious about this ARG about what we’ve discovered so far, as well as to fill people in who may have missed stuff.
Also, I’d like to apologize if this post jumps topics around a lot, or if it can be a bit hard to follow. Honestly I think that’s just a result of all of the different loose ends in this ARG being hard to follow themselves, although I tried my best. I had to keep updating this post as I typed it, because new posts kept coming in and new discoveries/speculation kept happening. So, sorry for any confusion.
Sadly, many posts on both blogs end up getting deleted, and never archived. That’s why I’ve taken the liberty to archive each and every single post and tag I linked to in this breakdown on the internet archive, which is also why this took hours to make this post because I had to ctrl+c and ctrl+v like a million times. If you notice any of the links I put in this post are broken, just paste the url into the wayback machine and you should at least pull up the archive that I took at the time of typing this post. I couldn’t archive every single thing on all these blogs, just the stuff that I thought was relevant.
If anyone else is inspired to hop in on this ARG because of this post, please feel free to add your thoughts/speculation in the replies, reblogs, whatever. Also please don’t expect me to answer all your asks & speculation, I did this post because it seems like nobody else is paying attention to this and I thought it was cool and deserved some time and attention. I fully expect people smarter than me to outpace me and discover all the secrets and that’s cool with me, I’m just along for the ride. I hope my post helped. Thanks for reading!
EDIT: I’ve made an update to this post here, go read it!
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solecize · 5 years
Text
REPLY 2009 ⠀ ⠀⠀.⠀⠀.⠀⠀.⠀(OR: 2009, YEAR OF US) — 002.
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now playing: club no. 1 by super junior
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summary: ten years ago, we found ourselves at a turning point in pop culture as the decade began to close. this was the year that brought the world obama, the death of michael jackson, and the highest grossing film of all time, avatar. however, in south korea, something big was brewing as well and it started off with infectious lyrics, colourful costumes, and sensational dance moves: kpop. the korean wave that started to build several years ago begins to find its footing in the international limelight in 2009. this was the golden era of kpop. this was the time of sorry, sorry. the debut of quite possibly the most different and groundbreaking girl group in korean entertainment, 2NE1. the rise of shinee, one of the most consistent boy bands of this era and beyond. the throne of bigbang would remain steady with their ventures into japan. and of course. . . snsd's gee that would solidify their place as the nation’s girl group and overtake their male counterparts. nothing can touch this legendary age.meanwhile, in the very city that milled and churned out these stars, eight teenagers were also coming to a certain close in 2009. youth was suddenly running out like grains of a darkened hourglass, as everything and everyone brought tension into their lives. where was the next step on their path? high school is nothing more than a cruel halfway point between childhood and adulthood, but this group of friends made the most out of it. after all, this is the youngest that they'll ever be. this age is the time where hopes rise higher than ever, where love burns the most passionately, and the desire for freedom expands the furthest. in 2009, we follow these teenagers' stories to the background music of the opening chapters of kpop's greatest legacies.but, ten years later at their high school reunion, where do we find them.”
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or: highschool!got7, dancecrew!got7, coming of age, school reunion angst, reader x ?
APRIL 2006 (3)
Slick, strawberry ice cream never tasted so fulfilling until that day’s relentless sun. Though it was only spring time, it must have been at least twenty degrees outside and when the air conditioning system broke in our classroom, I was left an absolute mess. The workload of being a first year high school student was made into an unfortunate underestimation and the weather only caused more stress to my body.
“Yours looks good, I should’ve just gotten the same thing as you,” Youngjae frowned, as he looked at his own vanilla scoops. He leaned in to take a taste of my cone, but I merely interrupted with a noise of disapproval.
“Nuh uh. Nice try, Choi Youngjae, this happens every single time.” I turned my back so that he couldn’t take any and hummed.
All it took to convince him to skip his after school vocal lessons was a distressed IM, claiming that I had an emergency. Sure, it was probably wrong to use my loyal best friend just to have a companion to get ice cream, but he’d done the same thing on several occasions. I’d missed so much time at Hagwon because of him. Great minds think alike and Youngjae wasn’t even mad when I met up with him outside of his school with a carefree attitude, clearly not having any emergencies to worry about.
“I should’ve known,” he said upon seeing my figure approach him at the front of my school.
“Oh, shut up.” I frowned and punched his shoulder in what was supposed to be a playful way, but he nevertheless yelped at the contact. “I never get to see you anyway with you stupid training anyway. Live a little and spend the afternoon with your best friend!” At that, Youngjae grinned and he couldn’t say no. Next thing we knew and we ended up at our favourite ice cream shop.
We continued walking along the sidewalk a busy street in the Guro district of the city. It was only five o’clock and people were rushing to get home to their families; cars flying by, people trying to beat the rush onto the subway lines, bicycle lanes filled up. It was busy as ever, as Seoul as ever. There weren’t that many people our age around, as most first year high school students like ourselves should be at after school lessons.
“Do you ever wonder what will be like when we’re like them?” Youngjae was eying some older college kids inside a random cafe that we were walking by, as I tried to keep my long hair out of the ice cream.
Two of them appeared to be a couple, while several other kids surrounded them at the same table. They were laughing, listening to music, and flipping through American magazines and I could feel jealousy running through my veins. Their parents weren’t frantically calling them when they were late by a minute or two returning from tutoring or yelling at them to grow up. They were grown.
I replied, “I wonder what we’ll be like when we’re like them.” Pointing at a pair of people trying to hail a taxi, a man and woman dressed in business casual attire, it seemed like they were making their way back to home. I wanted nothing more than to grow up and relish in unknown liberation.
Youngjae followed my gaze and thought about it for a moment. “You’ll be whatever it is what you want to be—” I rolled my eyes at that. It wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t exactly sure of what I wanted in a career, lacking passion for any field or hobby. My parents wanted Jinyoung and I to pursue lavish medical careers, but he was the only one with the endurance and intellectual capabilities to do so.
“—And you will be a successful singer.”
A light tint of pink spread across Youngjae’s cheeks, ever so bashful regarding his ambitions. However, there was no doubt that he was eventually going to be a star one day. I’d never seen such comparable talent to him.
I continued on, “Maybe we don’t have to wait so long! Didn’t you say that your company is looking to debut a new group next year?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he dismissed my statement, “it’s not a guarantee, though. And what if they don’t even pick me to be apart of the group?”
“You’ve been under their management since the seventh grade! They’d be crazy to cut you.” I was still able to recall the day of Youngjae’s first audition to the company, where I’d accompanied him on the weekend instead of studying at home with Jinyoung. Nerves were never one to affect Youngjae, but on that day, he couldn’t stop shaking no matter what he did. It was only when he was finally called that he was able to take a deep breathe. He got the acceptance call the following few weeks after. I’d march right down to the company office myself, they wouldn’t dare take away my gifted best friend for four years just to cut him out of their boy group.
Youngjae shrugged, then looked back to where we were observing the two adults. They were gone. “By our thirties, we’ll be happy for sure and that’s all I care about. Maybe you’ll finally grow out of Super Junior—hey, don’t give me that look!”
I quickly rid of the bitter expression on my face and laughed. Tugging his arm, I told Youngjae that we should go to an arcade instead of watch strangers like some creeps. I thought, maybe this part of being a teenager isn’t so bad. For now, I was willing to embrace this and so was he.
PRESENT DAY (4)
“Remember that time that Bambam knocked over an entire shelf?”
Letting his name slip past my lips felt so foreign, it seemed like forever since talking about my old friend. It wasn’t like recalling a one time anecdote, but a piece of life. Jinyoung emulated the odd sensation, not hiding the way he paused his walking for a split second at the sound of Bambam’s name. Then, after getting over the initial feeling, he burst out into laughter.
Shoulders shaking with each chuckle, Jinyoung replied, “My god, that was fucking hilarious. It was after we found out that we qualified for the NDCCs, right?”
“And Mr. Lee gave him a weeks’ detention for it!” I nodded vigorously. There was no way that my mind could forget that day, especially not the priceless looks of excitement on the boys' faces. The memory was fresh in my mind, as if it had occurred the afternoon prior.
The two of us were the lone people in that empty hallway after choosing to explore the second floor. Jinyoung claimed that he wanted to find his first year homeroom for old times sake. He’d walked straight past the library, probably because of all the last minute studying that he used to do in there that continued to haunt him, but I took a quick glance inside. The interiors were darkened, but I could make out the familiar layout of the room for the most part. I hadn’t exactly spent a lot of time in there unless I had to during my years, so Bambam was the first thought to come to mind.
“Hey, our old lockers are somewhere here!” My brother exclaimed, having made his way into another corridor.
I didn’t need to follow his voice, remembering exactly where the lockers were. It wasn’t quite Jinyoung’s locker, but he often used Jaebum’s instead of his own, as it was situated on the undesirable basement floor. Mine was just two away from their shared space and by the end of high school, the three of us claimed the entire block as our own.
Passing by the iconic music room, I found Jinyoung kneeling in front of a block of lockers. I had to stop myself from entering, as I figured that it would be best to do it later when he was here. Watching Jinyoung peered into each one, probably trying to jog his memory, it was odd to realize just how old we’d become. Spending countless of days in this hallway for three years, yet my brother couldn’t even remember which locker was Jaebum’s.
“Oh! This one’s mine!” I giggled, spotting the locker immediately, even from the distance I was at. Stepping forward, I pointed to the one that was three away from mine. “This is the one you’re looking for.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “How did you figure that out?”
Smirking, I gestured to the corner, where faint lettering was carved into the metal. There was no way I was going to leave Haerin without a trace, so as I ran my thumb over the imprint ‘SJ,’ I was more than pleased to see that it lasted for ten years. I nearly forgot that I did this, but it was probably one of the best decisions I made before graduating.
“What—holy shit.” Jinyoung looked at the ‘SJ’ carving and was silent for a moment, blank stare. Then, he burst out into hysterical laughter, to which I made a face at. “And you were even playing, what was it? Club No.1! You played it on the way here. Some things never change, huh?”
He was right. Some things never do change and I was content with that, knowing I still had a bit of that high schooler in me. It didn’t matter if it was Super Junior or that childlike innocence, or even my first loves that blossomed in these hallowed halls. The years pass, just as my branches grow rapidly, but returning to my roots reminded me of how much I longed for those days once again.
MARCH 2009 (5)
Lee Donghae's angelic voice continued to ring in my ears the whole train and bus ride home from the fan meeting. It was like a broken song stuck on replay on my MP3 and there was not a single thing I could do about it—not that I wanted to. I'd felt as though I was on cloud nine the entire time I was there, despite the fact that their thirteen members were just little dots from the seat I was in. Minyoung swore up and down that Siwon stared right at her for the majority of the event and we argued about it for the entire commute home, just before she got off at the bus stop ten minutes before I did.
Skipping school was practically unheard of, but it was a risk I was willing to take for Super Junior.
"I'll see you tomorrow at school!" she waved at me happily, as she strolled out of the bus with ease. I could never imagine having such nonchalance in my step after missing a full day of class to see an idol group, not with my hardass parents. However, Minyoung mentioned that her mother didn't care, too busy drinking her life away.
Unfortunately for myself, things were different. I paid Jinyoung almost my entire part time salary for him to do his imitation of our father's voice and call in sick for me with the school. Nobody seemed to suspect a thing when the two of us "left" for classes in the morning, as I wore my uniform and carried my backpack. In reality, I had to make a beeline for Minyoung's house, where I would change into some more fashionable clothing and eventually, the two of us left for the noon fan meeting. We made time for us to be able to hope on the bus back home. Needless to say, everything went smoothly, at least up to this point. Sneaking out was fine, but sneaking back in? A different story and certainly the nadir of the day.
It felt obligatory to repeat examples of excuses out loud over and over again as I made my way home.  "Sorry I'm late! I had a few questions to ask about my physics test. . .no, no, that sounds too forced . ."
Any car that passed by me on the street that even had the slightest of semblance to my mother's or any patrol vehicle that belonged to the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency granted a near heart attack. However, nothing came of these scares, so I continued walking along the sidewalk towards my house. There were some crazy things that teenagers did for their idols.
The only way to about successfully sneaking back in was the secret path. It led to behind the house from a convenience store that Jinyoung and I used to play in when we were kids. Looking back, we were absolutely insane. It was the scariest alleyway that I could conjure in my imagination, for it barely fit two bodies and allowed very little light to seep through. If it wasn't in broad daylight, I wouldn't be crossing this way at all. At the very least, it wasn't long after squeezing through that I could barely make out the house in the distance.
However, as soon as I stepped out of the alleyway, a large figure came out from the sides.
"Shit!"
Enduring the wind was knocked straight out of my chest, the other figure didn’t even seemed fazed at the sudden collision of bodies. I stumbled back a few steps, sputtering as I did so. There was a light chuckle and when I looked up, I saw Jaebum’s cheeky smile.
“And where do you think you’re coming from?” he raised an eyebrow at me and my heart stopped. I obviously did not think this far; Jinyoung’s friends were usually hanging around the house. I didn’t think that any of them would cause trouble, but then there was Jaebum, who would gladly give a side comment to my parents about my truancy just to see the look on my face.
I tried to play it off, pulling the best casual shrug that I was capable of. “School. I had to stay after school to ask Mr. Go some questions.”
“Last time I checked, you weren’t in class, especially without uniform on." Jaebum raised his eyebrows and reached out, touching my hair. "And you actually brushed your hair? You definitely went somewhere else."
There was no way. There was no way in hell that today was going to be one of the only days in the year when Im Jaebum, notorious class skipper, decided not to keep up with his hooky playing ways. However, looking at his semi pristine school uniform—I wasn’t going to count the buttons that he so cheekily left open on his dress shirt—I groaned. He had gone to class, which I didn’t count on.
Jaebum continued, "How come you haven't cut your hair? I think you'd look good with short hair." Giving unsolicited styling advice was his way of calling me boring.
“You. . .I can’t believe you actually showed up.” Last year, rumours flew around that Jaebum missed almost two weeks worth of classes in a row. In hindsight, saying two weeks doesn’t sound like lot to non Korean students, but there was no such shirking culture in any school in the country and especially not one as competitive as Haerin. Even the lazy students at least showed up and took a nap in the back of the classroom as opposed to outright not attending.
The said male grinned. “New year, new me.” Jaebum glanced at me, probably trying to figure out what exactly it was that I was up to. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“Okay, fine. I skipped.” There was no reason for me to not admit it, Jaebum was going to force it out of me either way.
“Why?
“SuperJuniorfanmeeting,” I mumbled, my string of words sounding more like a singular, incoherent mess.
Jaebum just chuckled at me, getting a real kick out of the situation. It wasn’t like I was the goody-two-shoes type, but I’d always used to berate him for shirking his school work. I didn’t actually care, but it was more on the basis that I figured that he and Jinyoung didn’t have to hang out and be so damn loud in the living room if they would just see each other at school.
“Say that one more time, please.”
Setting my jaw, the glare I sent his way could’ve killed. “Super Junior fan meeting.”
At that, he only let out a loud scoff. “You skipped for Super Junior? Are you for real?” His chiding was nothing new to me.
There was one time when Jaebum tried sneaking into our house late at night to hang out with Jinyoung, as if they were a fucking couple. Who the hell does that that? Unfortunately, my brother’s room did not have a window and the two politely asked me if Jaebum could go through my window, then sneak through. I said no. That was supposed to be that, but the twat ended up knocking at my bedroom window at two in the morning anyway.
If it weren’t for the fact that I was up late on Facebook, I would have probably strangled Jaebum. I had no choice but to let him in, though, and the first thing that he did was make fun of the amount of Super Junior merchandise that I had in my room. Posters, stacks of albums, stickers, mugs, you name it. That was how I discovered Jaebum’s hatred for idol groups and how he discovered his favourite thing to use in order to vex.
“I don’t want to hear it, asshat.” Grumbling, I tried to move past him, but he stayed put.
Jaebum said, “Nope. I’m not going anywhere.”
It was almost time for my mother to return home for work and I couldn’t believe that he was choosing to play around now out of all the time he had in the world. He folded his arms across his chest, as if waiting for me to do something. The light shone on his medium brown hair and illuminated his playful expression.
“I need to get home!”
“And I need to get to the studio, but your dumbass brother decided to take his time flirting with Ms. Jung after school, so now I have to wait for him.”
I rolled my eyes, how very Jinyoung of him to do. Despite being senior class treasurer and all around boy next door, I knew my brother well and he wouldn’t be related to me if he didn’t have his sly side. He used his role on student council and high rank in academics to stay behind to talk with teachers, often to schmooze or just to flirt like he did with Ms. Jung.
“Gross. Just go to the studio by yourself, then,” I replied.
Jaebum chuckled. “No, because I’m a good friend who waits for his friends, especially when the said friend is getting details on beautiful Ahyeon." 
I had to snort at that. "You boys are disgusting. Just get going so I can." Hearing him talk about the Geometry teacher like that made me want to throw up without hesitation. High school boys, especially overly horny ones like Jaebum, always did in the hallways after any one of Ms. Jung's classes. She was young, pretty, and everyone raved about how she looked like some actress from Boys Over Flowers.
He was still in front of me. There seemed to be something we wanted to say, judging by the confusion playing in his eyes, but nothing came out. Tapping my foot, I raised my wrist to my line of sight and saw that I didn't have much time left.
"You should audition for the crew," Jaebum suddenly blurted out, though his tone stayed as nonchalant as ever.
That took me by surprise and for that, I looked at him like he was crazy. "Me? Yeah, right. Now stop wasting my time and—"
"—Jinyoung said you dance, you can't dance for us?" he cut me off. I was sure that he was joking, but judging by the sternness and what seemed like shame for asking me, I realized that Jaebum was indeed serious about his suggestion.
Obviously somebody had brought myself up as a suggestion for the crew member replacement. I wouldn’t know why Jinyoung would even do that, he was fully aware that I would repudiate such an idea. I couldn’t even imagine myself having to hang out with the boys or stand on a stage.
"Yeah, in middle school. Not anymore, I don't like dancing."  
If there was one thing that could wound Jaebum, it was speaking ill of dance. He cringed at my words, face scrunching up. I didn't have any passions in the way that he and my brother had dance, so I couldn't understand. The sentence allowed made him want to get out of my way, side stepping.
He said, "Well, if you change your mind, we're in the studio on Friday. Jinyoung and Mark have said good things about you, so I thought that it wouldn't hurt to ask, but I guess I was wrong."
I shrugged and was on my way, thankful that he managed to give up on me. Picking up a speed walk, I dashed towards the back door of my house and made sure that the interiors were empty before doing so. As I closed the door, I couldn't help but look over at Jaebum and I saw that he was still in that spot. It was embarrassing that not only Jinyoung told the crew about me, but Mark as well. Thinking about it made my face go hot and with that, I shut it and hurried to change before after school tutoring. 
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