#and yes the bisexual light of this whole scene is important thanks for asking

[flowercrowngods]

based on this concept of steve and mike coming out to each other

🤍 also on ao3

The sun is setting in beautiful hues of pink and purple, tinging the town of Hawkins, Indiana, in a light of serenity and beauty it doesn’t really deserve. Steve’s hands are gripped tight around the steering wheel as he carefully scans the road and the houses he passes.

He almost misses the bike where it’s lying on the curb, carelessly discarded by the looks of it, and a tinge of worry shadows his frown. Worry that doesn’t quite dissipate when he spots the figure sitting on the roof, almost black against the lilac colour of the sky, but he breathes a sigh of relief. He considers grabbing the radio to let the others know he found Mike, but decides against it. Something tells him that maybe they’ll take a while. Something tells him there’s more to Will’s stunned silence and Mike’s sudden departure from where they were all hanging out at Steve’s after another successful Hellfire session. 

With a sigh, Steve cuts the engine and gets out of the car, keeping his eyes on Mike the whole time — ready for him to take off again, ready to go sit a while and wait for him to come back. But Mike doesn’t move, even after he shuts the door and approaches the Wheelers’ house. He doesn’t acknowledge Steve when he pulls himself up to the roof, easier this time than the first time he did this. 

There’s a snide comment in the air between them, a version of Mike that would have lashed out at him, made fun of and insulted him. But this one just sits there, hands in his lap, frown on his face, and stares ahead. 

“What do you want,” he asks eventually, though it doesn’t have the kind of heat that Steve expects. He barely even sounds like a teenager. Just sort of… dejected. Steve aches for him; just a little bit. 

“Just making sure you’re alright,” Steve says, shrugging, looking ahead as well so Mike doesn’t feel watched. Or seen, maybe. 

Because the thing is, Steve does see him. He sees the way he looks at Will sometimes, and the way his eyes fill with something that can only be described as yearning, or aching, followed by regret and fear. Which always, always turn into anger. Into frustration. Into snide comments and rolled eyes and walls that keep getting an inch added to them each day. It’s never directed at Will, that anger, and rarely at the rest of the Party, but Steve still sees it. Gets the worst of it and takes it, because he knows something about how that feels. 

He knows something about looking at someone like that, about feeling that fear, that regret, that worry that come with it. He knows something about never really daring to meet someone’s eyes for fear of what they would see. 

“I’m alright,” Mike says, sounding anything but. There’s a bitterness in his voice. Frustration in the way his thumb is picking at the skin of his fingers. Confusion in the tension of his shoulders, and Steve feels like he only needs to make one wrong move, say one wrong word, make a single sound that’s off key to the melody of this moment, and Mike will jump off the roof and take off again with his bike. 

So all he says, after a moment’s consideration, is, “Cool.” Like he believes him. Giving Mike room to breathe, room to pretend. He knows something about that, too. 

He knows and he sees and he feels. 

And suddenly he wants to say something he’s never said before, something he didn’t even get to tell Robin because she knew and saw and felt, too, taking something from him that he hasn’t yet been ready to reclaim for himself. 

And maybe it’s because he sees something of himself in the way Mike holds himself, in the way he snaps at anyone willing to listen, in the way he frowns in regret and barely meets anyone’s eyes except when it’s in challenge — and, most of all, in the way he never, never meets Will’s eyes. In the way he looks away when the other boy turns to him, and in the way his eyes will snap back and take in everything about his best friend when he’s not aware of it. 

Maybe it’s because the sky is pink and lilac and purple above them, allowing for a certain magic to happen, allowing for a bravery that doesn’t come easy to him; but as he sits on the roof next to Mike Wheeler, the only one of the Party he never really connected with, he closes his eyes against the breeze that catches in his hair and opens his jacket a little further, slithering beneath the fabric as if in a brief embrace, a nudge, a sign to take this leap, and takes a deep breath. 

His heart is picking up its pace inside his chest, taking this leap along wit him, and pulls up one of his legs to wrap his hands around it — just to have something to hold onto. 

He opens his mouth once, twice, three times, but the words never really come out. They don’t know how, and he’s beginning to tremble a little with it, tension building in his chest where the words are still locked away, hidden among layers of truth. 

Mike looks over with a frown and eyes him warily. It makes Steve want to laugh, this sudden change of pace, but he just keeps staring ahead; even when Mike asks, “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” Steve says. And then then dam is broken and breaking further, and with another deep breath, still not meeting Mike’s eyes, instead focusing on the tree tops in the distance that shine in hues of purple, he finally says, “I’m kind of dating Eddie Munson.” 

And just like that, it’s out. He’s out. 

He doesn’t know if the world still spins, if time still passes, if he still breathes, because for a moment there is only silence. Mike stops picking at the skin of his fingers, Steve stops trembling, and neither of them moves. 

It’s both anticlimactic and momentous, this silence between them when their eyes meet. When the words unfold and grow wings, when Mike understands, his eyes growing big with something that Steve can’t quite read with how tense he is despite his best efforts. 

The silence stretches between them, surpassing comfort and overstaying its welcome, and suddenly it’s Steve who feels like he’s about to take off if Mike so much as twitches his brows. 

“You… What?” 

Forget it, Steve wants to say. Nothing. 

But also, I’m in love with Eddie Munson. And I used to be in love with Nancy. And that’s okay. Both of that, it’s okay. 

He ends up repeating his words, though, because they know what it’s like to be spoken now. “Eddie. I’m kind of dating Eddie.” 

“But…” It’s Mike now whose mouth is opening and closing without saying anything. Mike who’s blinking, trembling a little, twitching, picking at his skin again, moving further along his hand this time to pinch the skin between his thumb and pointer finger. Steve almost reaches out to stop him, but he doesn’t really dare to. 

“But?” he prompts after a while, not quite comfortable with this loaded kind of silence. 

“Eddie’s a boy.” 

But Tammy Thompson is a girl. 

“I know,” Steve says, his tone carefully neutral, wanting to see, to wait where Mike takes this, to hear what’s on his mind, to watch the wheels turn and the gears shift. He feels awfully raw and open, vulnerable with someone who hasn’t been treating that with care yet. But there’s something about this moment that feels bigger than his own fears, bigger than the light nausea settling in his gut; far more important than the way he wants to run and hide, away from the scrutiny. 

“And…” Mike continues, still battling the words inside his head. Steve wonders if there are too many or none at all. “But you… You loved Nancy.” 

Ah. Smart boy. “I did,” Steve says with a small smile. “And it was never a lie. But I found that… Yeah, I can kinda like boys, too, y’know? And that’s, like, okay.”

A beat. A frown. A confused, hopeful, small, “It is?” 

Steve just nods, smiling in reassurance and relief at equal measures. Silence settles once more, now that the sky has darkened into a deeper, darker blue; but it’s not as loaded this time, not as tense. It’s an invitation. An offering. A promise of I’m here, I’m with you, you can take as long as you need. To get down from the roof, to come back, to come out of wherever you think you need to hide from the world. 

Mike takes it. He stays, pulling up his leg, too, mirroring Steve’s pose and staring ahead, but not as far away. He seems alert, seems to be thinking rather than dwelling, seems to be gearing up for something. Steve watches and sees and knows, remaining patient beside him, his chin resting on his knee as Mike learns to deal with this new world that has been presented to him. This new world that comes with opportunities and chances and possibilities that are scary and big and difficult to make. 

“Y’know,” Mike starts at last, interrupting the silence, playing with it, his voice hushed and quiet to keep it from disappearing completely. “Lucas, when he had that championship game? He told us, Dustin and me, that we didn’t have to be the losers this time. The nerds. The outcasts. Different. And all I wanted was to scream at him, because…” 

Mike swallows his words, keeping them from tumbling out of his mouth, and Steve aches for him again. He wants to reach out, wants to say it’s okay, tell him it’s alright, to take his time. But he waits in silence, lets Mike find the bravery he needs on his own, and waits. 

“Because how could he say that, you know? How could he, when… Will wasn’t there. And all I did, all I ever did anymore, was miss him. And I loved El, I knew I did. And she was gone, too, but…” 

He trails off again, and this time Steve picks it up. To let him know he’s not alone. To let Mike know he understands what he’s saying. He understands. “But she’s not Will. You needed Will.” 

“But I shouldn’t!” Mike explodes suddenly, riled up because Steve adds fuel to the fire, because Steve has that same fire, too; and because they are so, so similar when they want to be. “And now he’s back and it should be fine, I shouldn’t be feeling like this, it doesn’t even make sense! How can I…” 

Steve looks at him, at his expression that is nothing but lost — completely and utterly. He’s seen it on the bathroom floor at the mall; high out of his mind as he was, he’ll never forget the way Robin looked at him, the sheer crestfallen expression. All that confusion, all that fear and frustration and, in the end, resignation. He’s seen it in the mirror, and he’s seen it in those pretty brown eyes that he just can’t get out of his head anymore. 

He offers, gently, “How can you need him when he’s right there? How can you love him when a year ago you loved El?”

And Mike just looks at him before he deflates completely, his shoulders falling along with his face. He nods. Shrugs. Looks away and hides his face behind his leg. 

Steve sighs softly, watching the boy and speaking the words he wants to say the sixteen year-old version of himself. “I don’t know,” he says truthfully. “I really don’t, and it sucks sometimes, having this need to, like, decide. Or understand. Or stop and be like the rest of them.” Like Robin and Eddie, or like the rest of the world. “But I like to think, sometimes, that maybe it’s a good thing. That there’s just… I don’t know, it sounds corny as hell, but like, there’s just so much love to give, we can’t even stick to only boys or girls, y’know.” 

“That does sound real corny as fuck, man,” Mike says, and back is that long suffering tone of his, back is that eye roll and the twitching elbow, ready to nudge Steve in the side. It’s still tinged with that vulnerability, not quite Mike yet, but it’s an offering.

One of many tonight, it seems.

Steve grins, a bit lopsided and raw, shoving Mike gently as he remembers something he overheard once. “Sorry, mister Heart of our group, but I don’t think you have any leg to stand on here.”

That makes Mike freeze, though, and he stares at Steve wide-eyed; caught. Exposed. Reminded.

“What did you say?”

“Uh,” Steve falters, not sure where he went wrong — or if he went wrong at all. “I overheard Will calling you that, talking about you to, uhm. Someone. I don’t know. Why, what’s— What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Mike says, way too quickly, pulling away again with everything he has, hiding behind those walls once more, and Steve feels whiplash from it.

“Mike,” he says, his voice quiet and gentle as he turns to face him completely.

“No.”

“It’s okay,” Steve says. Promises, as much as he can.

“Shut up!”

“You’re not wrong or bad or broken. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“I said, shut up, Steve.”

“You should see the way he looks at you, too. You should go talk to him. You—“

Mike lashes out, finally coming out from behind those walls again, only to shove at Steve, to push him away — hard enough for him to lose his balance and almost fall off the roof, clenching one hand on the edge, the other in the rainwater gutter with a bitten-off curse.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” Mike reaches for him immediately, snapping out of whatever anger Steve caused, and pulling him back until he’s safe again, apologising over and over, dead to Steve’s promises that it’s alright. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Steve, I’m so—“

He pulls Mike against his chest, finally reaching out to hold the boy who always pushes people away when they get too close — quite literally, too.

But he doesn’t shove this time, doesn’t move out of Steve’s grasp as the mumbled apologies become heaving sobs.

“It’s okay, you’re okay, you’re so okay, Mike,” Steve tells him over and over as he holds him. The sky above is almost black now and Steve lets Mike cry into his chest.

It takes a while for Mike to calm down, but Steve just holds him through it, ready to let go whenever Mike wants to pull back and snap out of it again — but he never does, and Steve feels a certain kind of affection for the boy that is usually reserved for Lucas or Dustin.

At last, when he’s calmed down, Mike pulls back a little. “Do you really… Does it… Is it really okay?”

Can it be okay? Can I really like both? Is that not just me, being broken and wrong and bad? Will I get the chance to not be alone?

Steve swallows hard, and his voice is hoarse when he says, “Yeah. It’s really okay. ‘N’ I’m with you, yeah? If someone gives you shit for it. Or if you need a reminder.”

And Mike — puffy eyed, snotty nosed, so, so young — looks at him with those trusting eyes and nods, like he believes Steve. Like he trusts him. Like he hopes.

“Just don’t fucking shove me off your roof again.”

Ans just like that, the spell is broken, the tension is lifted, and silence has left them, as Mike almost chokes on a laugh and shoves at him again, lightly this time, before jumping off the roof so Steve can’t retaliate.

“Asshole,” he mutters, shaking his head as he, too, jumps off the roof, dusting off his pants as he watches Mike grabbing his bike. “Hey, Micycle,” he calls, cackling when Mike flips him the bird. “You want a ride back?”

Mike stops, considering as Steve casually flicks his keys into the air and catches them expertly. “What kinda music do you got?”

“The Clash, ‘cause Eddie hates them.”

“Yeah, that’s because they suck!”

Steve snorts, opening the driver’s side door. “Y’know, they’re one of Will’s favourites, actually.”

He watches Mike freeze with a grin on his face, knowing there’s no way the boy would take the bike.

“You’re so annoying,” Mike sighs as he brings his bike close to the garage and carefully lays it on the grass this time before hurrying over to Steve, getting in on the front, rolling his eyes when Steve cackles. “I don’t know why Eddie would date you—“

His words are drowned out when Steve turns up Train in Vain, drumming along on the steering wheel with a shit eating grin. Though the atmosphere is wildly different now, the spell broken and the bubble burst, it’s undeniable that something happened between them. Something big, something important.

Something that makes Mike’s annoyed, long-suffering expression be broken by the smile he’s trying to hide. It makes Steve laugh, elated and feeling something that’s much, much bigger than he himself ever could be.

It’s going to be okay. So, so okay.

Before they know it, they’re pulling up to Steve’s and he turns off the car, is about to get out when Mike makes him still again.

“Hey, Steve?”

“Hm?”

“I think it’s cool. You and Eddie.”

He smiles, relief and fondness washing over him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.” He reaches over and ruffles Mike’s hair — a wild mane these days, but they could make it work with some care and some products. “Now go get your man, lover boy.”

“God, you suck so much, you’re so annoying!”

Steve’s cackling again when the passenger door slams shut and Mike lets himself into his house.

He spots a figure in the dark, their face lighting up when they take a drag of a cigarette — and Steve’s heart stumbles in his chest. He scrambles to get out, attempting to look calm and collected, even though Eddie always manages to see right through him.

“Hello, stranger,” he says, leaning against the wall beside Eddie, hiding away in the dark, where the world won’t see their shoulders touch, or their fingers tentatively playing with each other before they can’t take it no longer and lace their hands, holding on tight.

“Hi,” Eddie breathes. “How’d it go?”

“Fine, I think. But, uhm… I told him. About me. About us. That, uh. That okay?”

Even in the dark, Steve can feel eyes on him, but he just stares ahead, opting instead to give his warm hand a squeeze. He smiles when Eddie’s thumb begins to draw patterns on his palm.

“Hmm. Very. You think they’ll be okay?”

“Yeah,” Steve breathes, stealing Eddie’s cigarette from his mouth and pulling it between his own lips. “Yeah, I think they will be.”

#steve & mike #steve harrington #mike wheeler #steddie #byler #pre-relationship byler #real hesitant to use the pairing tags tho 🥺😭 #this kinda ran away from me i feel like i’m gonna have to try again with better words but here’s what i got for a first try #i write this whole 3.2k words thing tonight it is 2am i should proofread this but i have a lecture early in the morning i get 5h of sleep #(but only if i fall asleep right this instant which. ain’t happening chief. anyway uh depression era words? #dio words #and yes the bisexual light of this whole scene is important thanks for asking

[sleeping-lilies]

robin era jason, dick, and babs headcanons because there’s too much comedic potential to ignore

- dick and babs were the ultimate gossip buddies. whenever dick was with the titans for long periods of time, babs always filled him in on everything

babs: dick you’ll never believe what hal said to bruce last night, i even have videos. dick, the look on his face please—

dick, immediately locking doors so his teammates don’t hear the mad shit about to be dropped on main: tell me everything

- vice versa too, dick filled babs in on everything going on with the titans and all they can say is thank god those lines are bat secured with no villains being able to listen in, imagine deathstroke hearing through bat gossip that joey’s dating who?!?! 😳

- batkids have been and always will be the holder of superhero gossip. it’s a business, you see, but we’re getting off topic 😡

- lmfao anyways this is literally how dick finds out about jason

babs: anyways, jason—

dick: who the fuck is jason

babs: ....

dick: barbara?!?!

babs: ok promise you won’t freak out

- babs and dick’s first reaction upon meeting jason being “why is he so small i wasnt that small” “dick you were literally nine when you were robin—“ “he’s tiny” it’s like those two share the same braincell

- i’m making it so that dick gave jason his number earlier because i feel like it 😡😡😡 (not that it changes much other than the fact that i want more gossip dropped in dm’s)

- when dick gave jason his number, he went to babs like “give me jason’s number” “didn’t you literally just give him your’s?” “ya but i’m gonna make sure he texts me” “ya ok that’s fair”

- whenever jason didn’t want to be in the manor (fight with bruce, boredom, etc) he went to wherever the fuck babs lived and they would facetime dick and talk mad shit. it was a thing.

- despite them all being able to drive, babs was the only one during this time with an actual, legitimate, legal license (jason was too young to have a license and dick is too lazy/busy/whatever-excuse-he-wants-to-use to take the permit and driving test) so babs drove them around everywhere and it was a mess™ consisting of a bunch of backseat drivers

- “dick omg look at this video i found from the batcave” “omg he said robin gives him magic” “robin gives him magic” they both cry about it for years to come

- babs sometimes kidnapped jason after school after telling the head of wayne manor (alfred) and took him to get ice cream, then to the library while she worked. jason was the greatest kid in the library, he even had his own throne special chair just for him whenever he came provided by library staff who adored this absolute angel.

- jason 🤝 babs 🤝 dick -> i believe in annoying yet endearing nicknames supremacy

- nicknames include (some used by some more than others or just one, or by both equally because they’re annoying pick and choose my good people)

little wing (iconic, we all know this one fellas and who uses it)

red (used for babs, absolutely fantastic, but in the future it gets confusing because some people with their goddamn hero names 😡)

boy wonder (classic, babs calls them both that)

barbie (for babs, jason uses this one and he’s the only one able to get away with it)

dickie (jason just really gets away with everything huh)

dickhead (jason’s lucky he’s cute)

baba black sheep (jeez i’m on a roll with babs’ nicknames she’s so nickname-able and that’s very cool and sexy of her)

jay z

jay allen

jay jay jay (shut up, dickhead—)

big bird

and a bunch more i’m too tired to look for them in canon or make new ones up, but you get the idea

- dick can totally bake, and babs and jason keep bugging him when he’s baking and add more chocolate chips while pretending to not notice that he can see them 😡😡😡

- headcanon that jason had hero worship for babs and dick because they’re so cool in and out of costume and it never really went away when he got older listen his older brother and pseudo sister are so cool and that’s not his fault but he’ll never admit it

- barbie movie marathons because barbie is an iconic legend and they all recognize it. they have the fucking “she’s the queen of the WA-A-A-AVES” song memorized along with all other barbie movie songs, they sing it on patrol.

- dick and jason’s sibling dynamic was and is basically “ur a little shit and i hate you but i will literally kill for you”

- dick had tension with bruce while jason was just a little shit who would totally cause drama for the sake of it, and people never take advantage of this absolute power duo for destroying bruce

- dick sending cryptid texts to jason through a burner phone because he’s dramatic jason totally knew it was him about things that drive bruce mad, like leaving the shower turned to the coldest setting before bruce got there, leaving the lights in the batcave on, etc. jason, a wise little child, totally took advantage of this. bruce came to accept his fate

- the gc names, guys the group chat names

- jason crashing into titans tower whenever he wants and dick doesn’t bat (hAH) an eye, occasionally he very sweetly asks babs to come with him and she agrees but only sometimes because some people have jobs, jason—wait dick is being flirted with by who?!?! i’ll leave it up to your imagination ;) and they totally crashed titans missions too

- one time bruce was busy with the league while alfred was on vacation and bruce absolutely could not dip (i’m imagining bruce getting a call from the headmaster during an honest to god fight and bruce just picking up while punching the daylights out of some asshole) (“mr wayne, what is that noise in the background?” “sorry, headmaster, the cat is having a seizure”), so when jason got into a “fight” (read: some jackass picking on jason before he snapped and yelled at him and the bitchass kid tried to punch him and jason’s no quitter) bruce called dick who was an adult and legally family (yes dick is adopted sometime after jason was, stay mad) like “son... son please” and dick was like “oh no need to plead with me, this is too good” but of course this bitchass doesn’t have an actual lisence yet and he was hanging out with babs anyways so he and babs rolled up to gotham academy and the kids stared at them like “holy shit they’re so cool” ya dick and babs are those power couple, whether romantic or not, that turn heads, they’re just that powerful strolled into the office, bailed jason out while intimidating the headmaster because the altercation was the result of school staff negligence of actual bullying like those cliche tropes, said “ayyy you got that brat good” and get him chili dogs or whatever the fandom made robin jason’s favorite food. omg i just made an entire fanfic in rough draft form someone please steal it and write it in full form and send me the link

- jason is very very tiny, you see. babs and dick pick him up and move him for any reason, whether because they want to sit on that chair or to just throw him out of harm’s way and take the bullet for themselves.

- jason and dick both get adorable blushes on their faces it’s genetic yes that’s how genetics work shut up meanwhile babs’ ears turn red when she’s embarrassed and all three of them clown each other for it

- i yelled about this to my mutual (cough cough @littlespaceboii) who also added to this absolute dogshit headcanon and then in the discord full of mutuals, but the basement of wayne manor is haunted. dick found it when he was a little gremlin (i stand by that dick was the original demon child) (“you see damian, before there was you there was me” the real reason he was good with damian lmfao) and was like “omg this is so cool” @littlespaceboii came up with that it was just alfred fucking with bruce and so when jason first came and dick was comfy around him he was like “so have you been in the basement” and jason was like “im literally robin i’ve been in the batcave?!?!” and dick goes “no the basement, the haunted one” and jason’s like “hAUNTED?!?!” cuz jason has at least some self preservations and knows not to fuck with the spookies until he too became a spooky and bruce was like “there’s no ghost it’s not haunted” because he’s a skeptic and a party pooper and babs is like “no go on let him finish” even though she knows full well there are no ghosts or does she? and uhhhh basically they becomes ghostbusters 2.0 but cooler and funnier

- this trio is basically baby pan/bisexual jason and two resident expert pan/bisexuals solidarity but that’s literally canon. they go to pride every year that jason’s alive what who said that?

- they all tease each other for their crushes like all siblings/family friends do, i don’t need to say it but it’s important that’s emphasized for my well being

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals who added onto this absolute train wreck too, but jason used to play baseball during his robin days, and dick never showed up to those games with being busy as an excuse, but babs always showed up with bruce and alfred and took pictures for dick so dick could be like “mlb players are jobless now that little wing is on the scene” babs (and sometimes bruce) always shouted loudest for jason whether he was in the field or in the dugout and jason would get this extremely adorable blush on his face (jason finds out in the future why dick never showed up (cough cough ptsd from two face’s massive baseball bat which led to everything that came after including being fired and veangance academy and nearly killing two face and omg that’s a ride) and is like oh my god my childhood is even more ruined—)

- remember when i said dick got adopted after jason did in this new absolutely fabulous canon i just created? bruce did that because “ahhh fuck that’s my kid and i want him to know i love him through every means possible since i have the ability to do so” i believe in good dad bruce supremacy and made a whole thing where he invited dick to dinner for like a week to work up the courage and bonding to ask him and show him the adoption papers and then everyone cried :) bruce decided to finally adopt dick after jason referred to dick as his brother and bruce was like “...oh” and alfred was like 👀

- dick, as the first child hero and one of the first heroes period like at least a year or two before babs, holds the “back in my day” card over literally everyone in the hero community in general and pulls it out to annoy babs and jason even tho babs literally joined the scene only a year or two after dick

jason, shaking in his panties: it’s so fucking cold

dick, standing strong in his tits out outfit, who had to wear the panties on his own decision: oh, you’re cold? back in my day—

babs, throwing her boot at his face: god shut the fuck up—

and then dick doesn’t give back her boot and it becomes a whole thing with lots of tackling and play fighting and someone nearly gets thrown off they rooftop for funsies but anyways

also on a side note, babs would take off her cape and wrap it around jason whenever she noticed his discomfort with the weather, or use the weather as an excuse whenever she saw him uneasy for whatever reason and they never mention it to each other

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals at some point too holy shit i have friends, but those three are team rocket. they went out as team rocket for halloween one year after bullying bruce to let jason out only jason because he can’t tell dick and babs what to do and jason is under his care and when they do convince him, dick and babs bully jason into being meowth. manifesting jason in a meowth onesie ARTISTS PLEASE—

- dick finally took his license seriously and took his driver’s test after babs became paralyzed.

- those were a rough few months for those three. and then another rough few months for those two

- yikes, sorry to throw angst at you (sorry (unfeeling)) anyways, in the future alfred finds those old photos and shows the rest of the fam, so dick and babs bully jason, 6’2 jason that towers way above both of them, and once again bullies him into being meowth “for tradition, little wing!” “shut up, dickhead” the rest of the batkids lose their shit over this, naturally. bruce and alfred stand in the back teary eyed reminiscing the old days when things were a little more simple.

- discowing walked so terrifying handsome squidward red hood helmet could run (even tho the ugly helmet tripped and fell and missed the mark because discowing wasn’t ugly and will always remain superior, i feel i have committed a terrible crime comparing the two)

dick: jason what the fuck is that

jason: it’s fashion

dick: it’s terrifying

jason: i’m only following in my older brother’s footsteps 😔

dick: listen here, you little shit strangles him haha just kidding that illegal wait theyre vigilantes they don’t follow the law—

- these three and cass refer to the rest of the batkids as “the kids” (if she’s older than jason, sometimes she is and sometimes she isn’t and i’m really confused but whatever)

- babs and dick’s relationship with jason pre death literally shaped how jason treats his siblings post pit madness like he literally goes “what would red and big bird do?!??” when he needs to go into big brother mode over the “little ones” (“little” because tim and steph are adults and duke is nearly an adult himself oh my god he’ll graduate from high school soon and jason never got to do that himself he’s totally going to the ceremony legally dead or not) 🥺

- holy trinity continue hanging out with each other, whether lunch or games or whatever, and just enjoy each other’s company after long, rough years

#i believe in meowth jason supremacy #license is spelled differently every time i type it is it license or lisence #oh whatever i’m failing anyways #good dad bruce because and reconciled bruce and dick father son dynamic because good dad bruce and extremely bitter son dick cannot exist #in the same realm #like it literally ruins dick’s whole character and makes him look like a brat when that’s literally not what happened #I MADE A FUCKING TYPO NOOO #OK ANYWAYS #dick grayson #jason todd #barbara gordon #oracle #batgirl #red hood #robin #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #alfred pennyworth #headcanons #batfam #batfam headcanons #dc comics #3am blue strikes again #long post #mine

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Bad Joke and The Scoobynatural

(13x14/13x15)

Hello there!!! This time I'm gonna talk about one of the most OOC episodes ever and one of our favs episodes Scoobynatural. I put them together bc one was so bad I needed some fresh air. Hehehehe.

Let's start!

So OOC that hurts...

Episode 13x15 "A Most Holly Man" was written by Dabb but also by Robert Singer.

This episode was odd, with easy bad jokes, and OOC. It also had Wincest subtext, and it was very messy.

If you rewatch the entire season, this episode seems to be out of context. If they've wouldn't put the search for the element they needed for the spell, it could have been passed as an episode from another show.

I could write more criticism, but let's just talk about little pieces of dialogue that worked as clues, I'm very sure it were put by Dabb (even if I dislike his writing) more than Singer.

The three elements the gangsters wanted to get were:

Incense: Is used by christian rituals to elevate prayers and gifts from the parishioners to God. This could be speaking of Chuck coming in the next season.

Chalice: The chalice represents sacrifice for christianity. The Holt Blood of Jesus Christ that have his life for humanity. So, is talking about a future huge sacrifice. It could be taken for Dean and his Mal'ak box or Castiel in 15x18.

Skull: it's related to death, and it could be speaking of Mary Winchester death in season 14.

Another little take from this episode was this little piece of dialogue:

MARGARET: Oh, don’t thank me yet. Greenstreet has all the trappings of a gentleman, but… I would advise caution.

Okay subtle, but not that much. The last name is a combination of two words GREEN and STREET, it's obviously related to Dean, and the quote after this 'has all the trappings is a gentleman, but... I would advise caution." It's obviously talking about AUMichael!Dean.

A brief comment about the Wincest subtext... We had Sam flirting with Margaret and Dean showing signs of jealousy, it could be taken as annoyance, but, because is Singer involved, I would say it was intentionally written to be Wincest subtext. And after this we had Dean flirting... Super out of character, with a brunette... With a lame excuse... Unnecessary. But it worked to make this time Sam the jealous one. Connecting the drops, my dears...

Dean has faith again and the distracting rubbing lips...

In this episode we can also rescue another good points as Dean declaring he has faith. Remember at the beginning of the season he was lost and faithless, I ask myself what could happen to make Dean to recover his faith???

Oh yes, Cas is back.

Then the rubbing lips... We had the same gesture from Cas in the previous episode, so, I wrote two entire metas about how Dabb team used the hands to show foreshadow. So I truly thought Dean and Cas would kiss... Hehehehe. It could fit perfectly, but nah.

This episode also talked about how a priest, a righteous, a saint man, was trying to get the most precious thing for his community.

Trying to get back the most important thing he had, willing to make any sacrifice for it, it's the same would lead Dean to say 'yes' to Michael. When Lucifer kidnaps Sam and Jack.

(This could be just nice because family, and because Dean raised Sam, so Sam represents a son and such, but, because is Singer... Wincest again.)

Another piece of dialogue I found is the following...

FATHER LUCCA: (...)And what your brother’s doing, it’s a good thing.

DEAN: Yeah, or a stupid thing.

FATHER LUCCA: Or both. Many times, they can be the same.

This is telling Castiel's name, Because Dean is always asking him not to do stupid things.

Another foreshadow was Father Lucca talking about Lying is wrong, is a sin. This was the preamble to one of the most revealing episode that will bring Chuck back. The episode in which Jack erase the ability of telling lies in the whole world population.

Dean's cave meaning and visual narrative.

Episode 13x16 was full of symbolism, and is one of my fav episodes.

At first, we had Dean fighting against a huge green dinosaur, practically a monster in green. Just like the Squirrel/Godzilla in one t-shirt we'll see in episode 14x04, is representing DEAN, his inner photography of himself. He sees himself as a monster.

Everytime we see SCOOBY-DOO in Supernatural, it's related to Dean's innocence and purity. Those qualities on him will be the key to release him from his emotional prison in season 14.

Visual Narrative in Dean's cave

Let's talk about the Dean's cave. When Dean says to Sam "Be like Elsa, let it be," he's referring here to the most deepest feelings and fears. Elsa released what she had tried to repress her entire life, her powers. And once she accepted what she really was, she was really free.

This will happen to Dean too, the process had just started. Now that he got Cas back, and now that deep inside he had accepted he can't live without the angel, he will slowly be able to embrace his bisexuality, to accept who he really is. The climax of this metamorphosis it's gonna be describer through the whole season 14. It's the birth of Healing!Dean.

Dean's cave represents that. First of all I want you to know that the Dean's cave had been made to watch movies with Castiel. It's subtextually displayed by the location of the two couches and the color of the lights in front of them: RED AND BLUE. Those are Dean and Castiel's places. That place had been built to share time with his angel.

Gif credit @out-in-the-open

Fred and Daphne were Dean's bisexuality representation.

Mostly than Dean having a crush over the two characters (openly with Daphne and repressed over Fred) both characters were representing Dean's bisexuality (just like Pamela and himself in Rocky's bar and his friend and the waitress in 15x07).

When they had to team up (just like in 14x04) we had Sam and Vilma represented the insight, the intelligence. (Just like Sam and Sam). Castiel pairing up with Yaggy and Scooby, the innocence and the talking dog, the most precious thing for Dean. (Remember Dean would take a bullet for that dog, that's why Cas was compared several times in season 12 with a dog, and that's why Dean follows him anywhere to keep him safe after suffering his lost).

Gif set credit @gentleman-demon

Finally, the bisexual team Dean with Fred and Daphne. In one opportunity Dean asks Daphne what does she sees in a man. Without mentioning she loves ascots, what this symbolically represents is Dean asking to his female side what she really likes to see in man. And we have Fred related to blue color, as a switch mirror with Castiel. Also because Daphne describes the perfect man as STRONG AND HONEST. Which are characteristics related to Castiel.

Castiel's entrance a la 4x01 and the dinosaur in love

Castiel enters in the mansion the same way he did in 4x01, stormy, mysteriously, and bright.

Immediately after his entrance, we had this weird dialogue...

DEAN: It's a book we're writing. Yeah, about...killer stuffed dinosaurs. It's called...

CASTIEL: "The Killer Stuffed Dinosaur in Love."

FRED: Huh. Great title.

SCOOBY: Yeah. Great title.

"It's a book we are writing " this is very meaningful Because, the book they're writing despite the one Chuck is writing, is Team Free Will, but... We are talking about DESTIEL. Dean and Cas are writing their own story... Why? Because when they mention the title of that book is... The KILLER (Do you remember REGARDING DEAN? another brief appearence of Scooby Doo and Dean's innocence? In which Rowena told him he was a killer? So yes, Dean sees himself as a killer, that's why the image of a monster, a green DINOSAUR, and huge Godzilla Squirrel... But this KILLER GREEN DINOSAUR has a very important characteristic HE IS IN LOVE. DEAN IS IN LOVE, as he confessed in 14x12.

Do I have to explain how writers connect d Castiel's first entrance in 4x01 with this book they're writing as they go? The book is named DESTIEL.

Jealous!Castiel and the little scared ghost boy

I loved the scene in which Daphne freshly confesses Dean grabbed the ghost by the thigh and immediately Cas shows his jealousy over that.

Gif set credit @tearsofgrace

But There's another almost at the end of the episode in which Dean mentions his affair with the Cartwright Twins and Cas asks about that, and Dean's face is priceless. Because if CAS would just represent a friend to him, he were absolutely explaining to him what happened with those twins, but he didn't. Why? Because Castiel is not just a friend. Castiel is Dean's love interest. So... Better not to talk about it.

Gif set credit @sssssssim

But let's jump over the symbolism of the trapped child ghost.

BOY: I'm not. I never wanted to hurt anyone. But the bad man, he makes me.

CASTIEL: The bad man?

BOY: His name is Jay.

I want to point here we are inside of Dean's head as you've noticed so far, so... Velma is Dean's intelligence and reason, and is linked with Sam (just like in episode 14x04 in which we had the scooby-doo box opening the locked door). Yaggy and Scooby are the innocence and love, part of Dean and linked to Castiel. And Daphne and Fred are Dean's bisexuality. But There's another huge character inside of him THE MONSTER. The monster, the one he has to defeat, is represented by JOHN WINCHESTER'S TOXIC HERITAGE AND AUMICHAEL, they're part of his toxicity, his rage, his violence. The little ghost here is all the good inside of Dean, his childhood, his innocence, but the bad man who obligates him to kill, it's his inner monster. So this is a war between TOXIC!DEAN and HEALING!DEAN as we will see in season 14.

BOY: When I died, my soul was tied to a pocketknife. My dad gave it to me. It meant everything. When Jay found me, he used me to...Sometimes, I get so angry I break things, hurt people.

John Winchester's toxic heritage implies the GUILT. So, Dean's soul is tied to that GUILT. Jay represents AUMichael here, when AUMichael finds this tool, the guilt, he uses it against Dean to control him. The boy says he gets angry, he breaks things and hurts people. He's describing perfectly Dean's toxicity. His violence. We will see it in this season but also, at the end of season 14.

To Conclude:

In episode 13x15 we had a very OOC bad episode, but with a few clues for foreshadows.

Episode 13x16 was a travel through Dean's innocence, inner thoughts and repressed feelings. It's a preamble to Healing!Dean season and how Dean will be able to break free from his emotional prison, defeating his inner monster.

Hope you liked this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 13 here you have the links...

Vol. XCIII, XCIV, XCV, XCVI, XCVII, XCVIII, XCIX, C, CI.

Buenos Aires, February 28 2020, 2:23 PM

#destiel chronicles #destiel #destiel meta #Supernatural meta #season 13 meta #13x15 meta #13x16 meta #Scoobynatural #Scoobynatural meta #Castiel #Dean is bi #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester

[khaleesiofalicante]

me, nodding of to sleep: IM HERE IM HERE

did my head just loll to the side? you will never know. first of all this chapter was the most beautiful thing i have ever read. Mavid have my HEART. It's also 4 16 am so im sorry if the reactions are a little bland but this was PERFECT.

me, throughout the whole thing: mavid mavid mavid

They had kissed for the first time almost a week ago. And they had kissed again. A couple of times.

Okay fine, they had kissed a lot since then.

Not a lot a lot. But a lot.

Wait a minute. How much kissing was a lot of kissing?

this is adorable

“I heard he cried when he found out Lexi and Liv were dating,” David chuckled.

yup that's jace

“We have to pay to talk on the phone?” Max asked incredulously. “I thought it was free.”

“Of course it isn’t free, Max!” David chuckled. “We have to pay for WiFi too.”

“This is ridiculous!” Max said. “Next you will say we have to pay for electricity.”

“Um, we do have to pay for electricity,” David chuckled again.

we pay for water too

but max you didnt know-

“Don’t let them guilt trip you!” Max had chastised. “They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”

cant relate nope

“I don’t know,” Max groaned. “My family is so dramatic.”

the lightwood-banes in one sentence

THERE ARE SO MANY FEELS MY HEART CANNOT CONTAIN

“Well, too late!” Max announced. “This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.”

In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that.

nah its gonna be great

“Perhaps you should just take him to the New York Library. They have, uh, books.”

yes that is what they keep in libraries

OH MY GOD THE FRIEND IS ELYASS

HERE'S MY FAVORITE DEMON Y'ALL

His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice.

But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages.

well-

you know i really shouldnt have laughed at the demon attack news but for some reason i did

i blame my sleep deprivation

shit i feel sick

you know maybe i shouldve just waited till the morning...

ok but the demon attack is NOT coincidental

there is something going on

“I thought dragon demons were extinct!” Max yelled over the commotion.

well-

ANJALI

“Man, fuck the orders!” Max said in frustration.

if you get hurt ill kill you

oh it's not her

well fuck

“That was an Armani, you piece of shit!” Rafael yelled at the demon. Max almost laughed.

THE AUDACITY

It really did. Dragon demons smelled like they lived inside a boys locker room.

well that's nice to know

FUCK THEY ARE TALKING NOW???

ok what is going on

“Say the thing!!!”

“I’m not saying the damn thing, you maniac!”

“Say the thing!”

Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.

“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

LMAO THEM

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.”

Im so sleepy i cant even react to this

but THEM I CANT-

WHERE.IS.ALEC

Max wanted to laugh. Only David would worry about another person while being injured in the infirmary.

MUST BE PROTECTED

Max nodded; his throat still dry. He couldn’t stop staring at David. At the wound. At the blood.

Also, maybe the naked chest.

AHEM

OH MY GOD JAIME IS ALIVE

we're getting lightwood-bane fluff LET ME CRY

alec...

on one hand alec smoking is fucking hot BUT WITH THE MUNDANE DISEASES OH HELL NAH

“But it tastes so good when it’s from your plate!” Max said with a mouth full of food.

“Oh, you want my food? Here!” Rafael grinned and threw a piece of chicken at his face.

Max caught it with his mouth cause wasting food was a crime. “Thanks, bro!”

“You little s-”

HE CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH

“And no fighting over chicken!” Bapak pointed out. “We can always summon some more.”

“Order,” dad corrected. “We don’t summon. We order. And then we pay.”

“How do we destroy capitalism if we have to pay for everything?” Max asked.

Max has a point y'know

“That’s rich coming from someone who is wearing an Armani jacket,” Max stuck out his tongue.

“It was a gift!” Rafael said, furiously chewing on his chicken.

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked.

LMAO

Max: What even-

Max: Can shadowhunters get high on iratzes lol

CAN THEY???

David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!”

MOOD

PLEASE RAFAEL AND MAGNUS ARE LIKE "About time"

SAME THOUGH

“David is what you get if Dad and Uncle Jace and Uncle Jem had a baby.”

STOP NO

“Oh,” Max said. “Uh, David and I…We are dating.”

Dad choked on his coffee. “Excuse me?”

Bapak chuckled next to him. “Of course you didn’t know.”

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?”

“There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!”

There's alec. Yup

OH MY GOD NOT THE SEX TALK

good thing i had wattpad I MEAN-

“Kissing?” dad gaped. “On the mouth???”

“Um, where else would we kiss?” Max asked incredulously.

“Well, actually,” Bapa cleared his throat. “There are many ways you can enjoy-”

IM CACKLING

And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life.

Max decided he would rather get attacked by a hoard of dragon demons than sit through it any longer

“You guys know we have something called the internet, right?” Max demanded.

“Well, the internet can have mixed messages,” Bapak sniffed. “We on the other hand have real life experien-”

“Magnus!” dad looked red in the face.

“Fine,” Bapak sighed. “Now moving on to the importance of lubrication and-”

“I’m begging you to stop,” Max groaned.

THE NOISES WHICH LEFT MY MOUTH ARE NOT OK TO BE MAKING AT 3 30 AM

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.”

HE'S SO DRAMATIC

“Well,” dad said carefully. “David is…”

“French?” Max asked.

i blame my sleep deprived ass for laughing at this

next thing i know someone's being tortured and im laughing because i dont have sleep in my system

Max honey...

listen to him

i for one, dont want a repeat of pg 511 cols

oh he's finding out about the incident

that's what i call it

Max thought of all the stories he had heard then. The one of the warlock who killed people who he could bring back his dead girlfriend. The one about a nephilim mother who paired up with prince of hell to bring back her dead son.

oh yeah...

shudder

They called it The Jem effect.

AYYYYY

It was true. In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual.

very very valid. have a good day sir

AWW MAX DIDNT KNOW HE COULD BLUSH

you know it's a sign ive been watching b99 too much that i was imagining mina talking like gina...

pls send help

ALSO MINA BESTEST SDCHJDFVYDYUGFYUGFVDYVFD

“Can we not talk about my boyfriend’s sperm, please?”

im surprised my parents havent woken up by the sound i let out

BUT HEY THE DOOR'S CLOSED SO

SUGGENS MINA

“I’m hearing an inflated sense of self-importance,” he heard Ragnor call from the bathroom. “Is Magnus here?”

“Just the spawn,” Max called back.

THE SPAWN BYE-

“He is married to the Consul!” Tessa chuckled. “And one of his sons is a shadowhunter.”

“It’s still very bad for our reputation,” Ragnor grumbled. “He is too close with shadowhunters.”

“You are the headmaster of Scholomance!” Catarina said incredulously. “You teach nephilim! Even though you don’t need a job!”

“I was coerced!” Ragnor huffed. “Manipulated by the children of the angel.”

really ragnor?

The grin disappeared and Ragnor buried his face on Catarina’s shoulder. “I can’t go through this again, Cat! Not again!”

“So much for not taking up after his father, huh?” Catarina chuckled and looked at him. “That’s nice, Max. We are happy for you.”

“We are not!” Ragnor said in a muffled voice.

RAGNOR DJHDCUHUKIHDVVFDDB

OOOO MAX DIDNT KNOW ABOUT CAMILLE

a kind of endless love...

dont make me cry

“I know you are worried, love,” Tessa’s voice was a whisper. “You are worried about surviving after David. You are worried about your own heart. But you should never let that fear stop you from finding love. Because love is what sustains us immortals. It keeps us alive. When you love a mortal, you love them forever. You might not remember all the memories. The colour of their eyes or the sound of their voice. But you will remember the love. You will carry that love inside you forever. It does not make you weak or fragile. It makes you stronger. And you will forever be grateful for it.”

my eyeballs are too tired to cry

stop it

THEY SAID I LOVE YOU

I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOM

bitch you hate children wtf-

Max laughed. “I’m going to kill dad for making us do this. God, this is so weird!”

better get it done now

HE'S DAVID'S FOREVER

dont do this to me at 4 am

“You should two should some spend time together. Get to know each other and all of that,” Max suggested with a smile. “Maybe you can bond over archery or something.”

“I’m pretty sure he would use me for target practice,” David mumbled.

“Don’t be ridiculous, David!” Max said incredulously. “My father doesn’t need target practice!”

At this point, a David and alec scene isn't a want its a NEED

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do.

me throughout life

max Rafael isn't the one smoking-

OH MY GOD MY DAD JUST CAME TO CHECK ON ME THE WAY I SLAMMED MY LAPTOP

“Also tell him to stop smoking!” Max pointed out seriously. “It’s not good for his health! Especially with all the mundane illnesses going on.”

“I know, Max,” dad sighed heavily and blinked. “I mean, I’ll talk to him. For sure.”

Alec if anything happens to you...just know ill raise hell

“I don’t want easy,” David smiled. “I want you.”

IT'S 4 AM DUDE

AYYY THE SHANGHAI SHADOW MARKET

CELESTIAL PALACE

“Dad? The Consul? That dad?” David looked surprised and relieved all at once. “Oh my god, he doesn’t hate me!”

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.”

of course, he did

oh my god SLEEP. there is so much to do tomorrow dying...my grammar was really bad and I don't have what it takes to use Grammarly's corrections except for the ones it's already doing as type.

this chapter had my heart BURSTING!! AHHHHHHH

the talk was so important I'm so glad they took care of that. ok imma head to bed now BYEE

Eeeeeee this was a lot sfkjdfkd I hope you are okay. Get some sleep next time or I will call the police.

Thank you as always for reading, reacting and supporting 💚

#lbaf

[headcanonthings]

Zukka Hockey AU

(with a hint of Social Media AU bc why not?)

Sokka and Zuko meet in the later years of college due to mutual friends

Sokka is an engineering student with a full ride hockey scholarship; Zuko entered as a business major but by the end of his first term he realized he was doing that because it’s what was always expected of him, he then changes to a double Lit & Theater Major (he decides to minor in business so he can help Uncle with the shop)

Neither of them are really looking for a relationship with being so busy with school, sports and jobs but thanks to their mutual friends they start hanging out and become pretty good friends

After college Sokka gets recruited to the pros and quickly becomes a fan favorite; Zuko becomes a moderately successful screen actor

They don’t lose touch so much as they just don’t stay close, they’ll message each other every now and then but mostly through social media like congratulating through tweets or instagram

But then Aang and Katara finally set the date for their marriage and Sokka is Aang’s Best Man and Zuko is invited as one of their dear friends which leads the two of them reconnecting

Zuko’s been out as gay since college and has been vocal in his career about his sexuality and mental health; Sokka on the other hand, while comfortable with his bisexuality, hasn’t been as open due to the heteronormative culture of sports, plus he’s always leaned more towards women then men so he never feels like he’s really hiding anything (the important people like his family, Aang, and Suki all know)

But during the Kataang wedding the two realize how much they’ve really missed each other and something really clicks between them over the few days they spend together

Before heading back to Caldera Zuko decides to shoot his shot (after a prep talk from Mai and Ty Lee) Sokka hesitates which has Zuko going from some what suave to his usual awkward turtleduck self as he quickly tries to backpedal, Sokka immediately jumps in to calm him down saying he’d love to but he’s not out publicly and sports as a whole ain’t that open let alone hockey and Sokka knows Zuko’s been out and doesn’t want him to like go back in the closet or anything

Zuko says he understands, but he really likes Sokka and Sokka has mentioned a few times over the past couple days that his hockey career isn’t a forever thing and Zuko’s willing to keep it on the downlow if it means giving them a try; neither of them are that big of celebrity that’ll be hard, they just need to be careful

It actually goes really well; they have to deal with virtual dates at first with Zuko in Caldera and Sokka on a southern Earth Kingdom island where his Southern Water Tribe team is located

About two months in Zuko’s between acting projects and he’s been wanting to try his hand at writing (he’s had a few short stories published under a pseudonym) so he rents a place on the southern earth island

(it’s a complete accident on Zuko’s part but very intentional on Mai’s part that the place happens to be only a few blocks away from the hockey training arena)

Being so close makes everything easier; being together is so easy in a way neither of them expected; their close friendship in college means they already know a lot about each other like Sokka losing his mom and Yue and Zuko’s entire family situation

By the end of Zuko’s first month on the island Sokka’s pretty sure he’s gonna ask Zukos to marry him someday; by month four of the relationship they agree it’s time to start telling their friends and family

Their six month anniversary hits and Sokka being RomanticTM sets up this huge display at his house I’m talking roses everywhere and fairy lights strung up on his back patio with specially ordered food and drink from the most romantic restaurant in town and a lit candle on the table and soft music playing from a little BT speaker and Zuko almost cries because he is also a RomanticTM but no ones ever done anything like this for him before

And the night is wonderful and there is absolutely nothing wrong but Sokka can’t help but think about how he really wishes he could have taken Zuko out to the restaurant and maybe done some kind of activity before hand and he’s got some really cute selfies with Zuko that he wishes he could share with the world instead of just spamming the gAang group chat

A few days later he’s scrolling social media after practice and realizes that it’s National Coming Out Day and he sees all of these cute and inspiring messages and he wants so badly to be apart of that

Later while he’s laying in bed with Zuko he can’t get those posts out of his head and he’s looking at Zuko curled up into his side and thinks Fuck It

He tells Zuko what he wants to do cause he’s going to come out but if Zuko doesn’t want to be part of it he’s not going to make him but all Zuko does is ask if he’s sure and Sokka is so he snaps a quick pic of them curled up together gets Zuko’s approval of the pic and posts it with a little message (including a bi and pride flag emojis)

Zuko in solidarity makes his own post using one of the photos they took during their anniversary

Sokka gets a call first thing in the morning from his coach and the PR guy asking him to come in; Sokka’s a little worried he’s about to get sacked but reminds himself that he’s still fairly young and he’s been smart enough to get his masters online during the off seasons

To Sokka’s minor surprise everyone is pretty ok with it; the PR guy is a little annoyed they didn’t have a heads up to help cut off the a-holes on the internet but they’re like the only statement we’re gonna put out is one that says the team supports all sexualities but they don’t want to make a big big deal out of it if Sokka’s not comfortable with that

All of Sokka’s teammates flood his mentions with support messages and follow Zuko’s account as another sign of support

The GAang are also quick to share a lot of pics and messages supporting the couple; Katara is super happy to share some of the mushier and embarrassing texts Sokka’s sent her like a whole paragraph about how pretty Sokka thinks Zuko’s eyes are

Bonus:

Mai is Zuko’s best friend since childhood, she went to school for something like Poli Sci and somehow in the process of helping him move to Caldera she ended up moving to; she helped him with his theater classes like running lines and studying and actually picked up a lot of the behind he scenes info so before she knows it she’s helping Zuko get auditions and PR and when someone asks if she’s his manager she only hesitates for a second before saying yes; she asks a family friend to help write up a contact that Zuko barely looks over because he trusts her

Once the initial fervor calms down, Sokka agrees to do an interview but specifically requests a little known journalist (Korra? A different Krew member?) he picks them based off of Zuko’s recommendation, Zuko remembers how kind and easy it was to speak with them; when Sokka tells the interviewer that they nearly faint

 Sokka loves Twitter but Zuko is more of an Instagram guy

Sokka and Zuko eventually end up having two weddings, a small personal one that is mostly family and really close friends and then a much larger event type one where they invite Sokka’s full team and the many celeb friends Zuko’s made like other actors and directors

#I started writing this around national coming out day #Finally found it in my drafts and decided it was time to finish fleshing it out #a;tla #Avatar The Last Airbender #zukka #sokka #zuko #fic oultine #Headcanon #hockey au #celeb au

[sugar-petals]

BTS Tarot Reading ➝ What Kind Of Porn Do They Watch? (18+)

↳ NOTE - due to several requests, a steamy and detailed one. ☕️ we’re asking the cards about the erotica they fancy in a wider sense. 

warning ⚠️ 18+ // bdsm mentions, worship, kinks left and right. we’re going graphic in all types o’ ways, lads.

♡ DISCLAIMER // tarot is speculative, there is no guarantee for accuracy. believing in the cards is a choice. all portrayals are fictive and for entertainment purposes only.

SPREAD #1:

yoongi

⌈ THE WORLD ⇁ Jesus... Someone’s obsessed with girls in the nude. That card has a stark naked woman wrapped in very little satin on it so you know what our funky little guy is up to. Luscious aesthetic fotos might be just around his corner. Big duh, he’s a photography major. These folks are all about body appreciation. He’s also on a personal vendetta against lingerie 😂 Yoongi won’t get hard looking at even the most HD panty and bra ads. Only the skin in its full splendor will do, no editing. He loves pictures of nipples peaking through shirt fabric, it’s all over his phone. Yoongi likes his gals without underwear 24/7 just like he dislikes underwear himself. If we’re talking porn, the woman on the card is holding two very long rods so may I connect the dots: Threesomes, handjobs, blowbangs, spitroasting. Friction, friction, and more friction. To Yoongi’s brain, handjobs are a great um new version of holding hands. Sex standing up also, keeping it vertical. Yoongi doesn’t care about girth, inches count. Nice and elongated with a perfect plunge, something to hold onto. Yep, he’s pretty deliberate when searching that up. Yes, he loves the look of it. However, and you’ll be surprised: Even if he likes poly porn, it’s still nothing too extreme. This card is more about pleasure than pain. If a guy likes rough and degrading sex, you get swords and wands in his spread. THE WORLD is more about perfected skills and success. So, he likes the more accomplished porn stars. With a preference for curly blondes and redheads, that’s sort of the hair color on the card. Natural B or C cup. Medium height, not too curvy. Oversized booty not needed. In terms of nationality: We have three representative animals on the card. Eagle, lion and bull, plus a light blonde man’s head. So, anything that America/Germany/Albania/Mexico/Namibia (and so on, lot of countries with eagles as their national bird my dude), England, Spain and Scandinavia have to offer. Honey sugar is going international, baby.

hoseok

⌈ QUEEN OF WANDS ⇁ Did I just mention that guys who like rough sex in porn get wand cards in their readings in Yoongi’s segment? Well, there we have our candidate, with a very obvious card since it’s a court figure. Now, the thing is, this is not the guy being rough. The QUEEN OF WANDS is as notoriously femdom as can be. The very fiery and raw and fun version. So, with a degree of lightheartedness, but still being very fit — even buff — and hands-on with the sub. If you get the QUEEN OF SWORDS, that’s the more cool and calculated domme who signs you up for torture and humiliation, and she really looks like a domme. She’s all over the internet because she has the grit. Now wands combined with a tarot queen... it’s more about the stamina and she is approachable. Hobi does not like watching cruel girls, he likes challenging ones. Upbeat porn stars who can take a lot but most importantly dole it out assertively like pros are Hobi’s schtick. He’s unapologetic about that. With him it’s like, please not the local newcomers that turned legal a month ago. The queen cards are all about mature women. Mommy kink, hint hint. The kind of mommy who’s gonna whip out the spreader bar or cane (= wands again) and give a playful type of punishment. See how desert-like that imagery is, Hobi wants to sweat big time when he gets off to this. Now since wands also make for a damn good pole to dance on, go figure. This whole card has me wondering if, well alright, he is a Cardi B hard stan 😅 If Hobi blasts Money to get in the mood, I’d not be surprised. Anyway. Back to pole stuff: If you go through his youtube search history, you will find astounding things. I think he watches the more professional and athletic performers in competition though. High production value is key. Finally, an interesting card detail: There’s a sunflower on it. This is definitely his kind of tarot imagery.

jimin

⌈ KING OF COINS  ⇁ This card always looks like a scene from a medieval movie so you might have an erotic film enthusiast here. The more chaste type of genre, pentacles are very grounded and not hypersexualized. The intimacy is slow and more about security and pleasure. It’s graphic and detailed, but gives you a sense of relaxation. With a bit of romance in the plot, that might absolutely be Jimin’s thing. Castles and wine and nobility. Interesting type of erotica. Historical and classy. As expected of a prince, mind you. He might enjoy books of that genre also. And we know Jimin is an avid reader, right up there with Namjoon. Now, even with more risque and contemporary stuff that he googles up, we have similar dynamics going down on screen. With Hobi we had femdom because it’s a queen card, now with Jimin we get the classic male dom type of porn because that’s how the King usually rolls, unless it’s the KING OF CUPS who’s touchy-feely and subby. Meanwhile, the KING OF COINS is your local sugar daddy. Leaning towards being a soft dom, he’s not aggressive. And Jimin surely has a little crush on that concept. Ye know, if all the other members have female cards and Jimin gets the sugar daddy, we might be dealing with mxm action. Because if this card was a porn star, he’d be a really, really rich producer and a bear who’s done this since the frickin’ 90s. He’s treating his subs very gently and lets them sit on their lap, the imagery is sort of like that because the King is balancing a pentacle on his left thigh. Sex and comfort all in one are life for Jimin. A sexy detail I only noticed at a second glance, the King also has a shortened golden staff with him, which has a rounded tip. If that’s not a butt plug… whenever I see props like that in tarot, I interpret it as a sex toy. So, good vibes in here. And a bunch of aphrodisiacs, the KING OF COINS is a foodie. Which you know, might just be a food porn type of reference. Jimin’s taste in sexy things is quite something else.

jungkook

⌈ THE EMPRESS ⇁ If there’s one thing I like, it’s the Tarot giving me the important archetypes during readings of that kind. The Queens, the Kings, the Major arcana (see Yoongi’s and Jin’s segment). You can really draw a lot of hints out of it. Now with the EMPRESS you have a similar case to Hobi’s, just a lot more softcore. Jungkook has a refined and pretty vast taste in erotica, if not the most refined in Bangtan next to Jimin who likes that kind of dignified touch to it as well as we saw. Jungkook knows his stuff when it comes to searching things up, he is a first class netizen in that regard. In terms of genre: The EMPRESS is your highkey feminist and wholesomeness legend, so — you won’t find any super creepy things in some hidden file on his PC, and things by female producers instead. No slut-shaming or name-calling here, everyone gets their pleasure in their own right. Thanks to online sex ed, Jungkook has a map to the clit and he’s not afraid to use it. He’s the type to watch solo videos ad nauseam. He’s fascinated. Masturbation until it gets all messy with the juices flowing, and you bet he wants to see the girls buzzing themselves off lying on their back. Maybe even outdoors in a field. Cum play is a must, cunnilingus is a must, he loves unprotected sex and creampies, he loves breast massages. And yes. Anything that involves sex with pregnant and chubby women. Similar to Taehyung, it’s all about the focus on the girl, he doesn’t bother much with the guy performers. And given Yoongi’s reading on top of that, we have three members in BTS who are all about worshipping the female body right here, breasts over ass, and he likes blondes, too. The EMPRESS card is like… the entire porn industry who does the MILF and BBW genre is financed by Jeon Jungkook’s website subscriptions. Cue GOT7, with Jungkook it’s girls, girls, girls. The thirst is going strong, and he’s unashamed times ten, sex is sex. 

➝ we also have members who don’t really bother with erotica or have a complicated relationship with it.

SPREAD #2

taehyung

⌈  ACE OF WANDS reversed ⇁ He’s not about beating off until the world ends. Taehyung gets bored by porn or heated literature and doesn’t feel very motivated to search it up. He would rather come up with his own ideas to write but doesn’t have the energy. Sex drive: On hold, even if he tries to look something up it doesn’t feel very fulfilling to him. Most of it fails to turn him on, it’s not his kind of taste. He gets frustrated when he masturbates and would rather rest, dream, and doze. The only thing I can see him watch somewhat frequently — hold your horses — is lesbian porn. I’ll explain. The ACE OF WANDS is pretty much your most glaring handjob symbolism card. A hand gripping a stick. Yoongi’s THE WORLD card has very similar imagery, I mean even two wands and a girl, bisexual explosion much. He would be a big fan of the upright ACE OF WANDS card lmao! But the reversal is like, um no silly guys jerking off in here, pls. Keep your cum to yourself. That means: Zero dicks in Taehyung’s zone, girl-on-girl stuff is his very last resort for quality that he is desperate for but cannot find. And not the stuff where the producers just replace the guys with heavy arsenal sex toys, double-ended dildos, fucking machines, endless strap-on action without any clit stimulation on either side and whatnot. Taehyung is like ugh, cherie, why, give me the juicy stuff, give me the basics. What he wants is just pure scissoring, fingering, oral, little gentle bites, a lot of caresses and kisses. And slow, slow sex. Probably the amateur kind. He hates how brutal and exaggerated most things online are. Tae is looking for softness, a lot of lesbian action is what delivers in that regard so he takes all he gets. And it goes further than that, Taehyung knows the finest yuri recommendations, I’m telling you.

seokjin

⌈  THE STAR reverse ⇁ The opposite of Yoongi: not keeping it very naked in here. The upright card shows a nude woman pouring water from two cups. Hence a strong connection to the card of sexuality, TWO OF CUPS. Everything is very gentle and positive in that scenery. But then, the reversed card rather shows us that Jin doesn’t feel too thrilled watching other people film or write or photograph sex. Like in Tae’s case, he becomes bored, it’s all the same to him. Nothing’s ever new to him in porn. He feels negative and guilty rather than refreshed or entertained. He also doesn’t like a lot of kinks that very literally connect to, well, the pouring water. Squirting, cum play, watersports, sex in the pool or showers, lube overuse, creampies, bukkake, fake cum — Jin is rolling his eyes at that, he thinks it’s a circus. He’s surely given it a try, but ended up feeling worse and even more pent-up or dissatisfied. At best, you will find him on unknown websites looking for the most amateur videos there are. Because: THE STAR quite unequivocally hints at porn stars. If you reverse the card, it becomes someone not very well-known. He roots for the underdog. Accordingly, Jin’s reaction to mainstream videos goes this way: ‚Pipe down, you non-artists!’ 😆 Cause maybe, he does do it better aye, without the awkward angles anyway. He doesn’t want the body cult, like, put that airbrush and silicone out of my face bro. Not because he’s against surgery, but the idea behind sexual extremes and the shady high standards. It’s too polished for him to get turned on. And robotic/staged. Likely because he’s had an IRL sexual experience (gasp!) that set a different ideal to him, so the more glossy porn feels off. Home video has all he needs instead. I think it’s especially because you get so see more body hair there. The woman on the THE STAR card is all sleek, so the reversed card is the opposite, Jin wants that unshaved goodness.

namjoon

⌈ EIGHT OF CUPS ⇁ Now you’d think — and I thought, kinda — we’d get the master of erotica right here. And he’s had one hell of a reputation for that. Think of the ever-infamous Yaman TV interview where BTS were super upfront and revealing about their taste and what they watch privately. With especially Namjoon having the lion’s share. But this card says otherwise if his current state is concerned. The EIGHT OF CUPS shows a man wandering off into the night, leaving eight cups behind him. I think what that means is, he’s moved on. Namjoon’s cravings aren’t as strong as they used to be, nor does he have the time. He knows it won’t fix his loneliness or answer the questions of life. He might be on the search for different things to fulfill him, or ignore much of his hormones in favor for his career. Not that he didn’t dabble in it, he sure did, but that chapter is slowly closing and what’s next he doesn’t really know yet. He thinks about family and being a father, so the smaller and more risque pleasures become less significant. Desire, too. Ye olde soul syndrome is kicking in. The card is also centered around introspection, a quest for self, all these higher topics that aren’t the most grounded and don’t leave much space for being horny. Joon is simply to preoccupied and on the move. He sees porn as a distraction from his real self at this point, and he’s not the type to feel satiated after masturbating to something, similar to Jin and Taehyung. Instead, I think he carries that energy elsewhere, hence the wanderer going from A to B onto a mountain. In short, Namjoon naturally grew out of it by becoming more, well: Namjoon. He’s left a lot behind, he’s choosing self-development over temporary fun, and he will ponder a lot on the topic, the hows and whys and whats more often than not. So, he’s passed the baton to Yoongi and Jungkook if you will, and keeps a low profile as of now. 

tarot mlist | ko-fi

----

for anon:

#bts tarot #bts #bangtan #bts smut #bts tarot reading #tarot #long post

[bronanlynch]

weekly (monthly?) media roundup

ok so I do want to actually do these on some sort of schedule but unfortunately, as you already know, brains,

listening: Malice in Wonderland by Fangbanger, which I found from a tumblr post that described them as band for “if you have a complicated relationship with gender, had a falling out with god, hate the government, or just think that vampires are neat" and y’know? yeah. my notes on this song from several weeks ago are that I might not know any of these people’s genders but I do know they’ve listened to MCR

reading: the new Cassandra Clare book, Chain of Iron. it’s boring and homophobic. in the first book of this series, we find out that the heroine’s brother is gay and in a relationship with a man who has no intention of ever coming out publicly because 1) the book is set in 1903 in England, it was literally illegal and 2) he’s trying to have a career in politics. the heroine decides that this means he’s ashamed of her brother and doesn’t deserve him, and she is present and active in their breakup conversation.

above is the relationship chart I made from the first book, it really hasn’t changed much except now the main guy and the main girl are married, the lesbians got back together and then broke up again, the main girl’s gay brother hooked up with one of her husband’s friend, who’s a Good Gay and therefore worthy of love unlike the Bad Gay ex who is constantly mocked by just about every character for. checks notes. caring about appearances and manners given that his life and career are based on those things. the brother and his new love interest break up because the brother still thinks he’s a bad person for ever having dated his ex. also the main girl has now platonically run off to Paris with her husband’s platonic soulmate who is allegedly in love with her but it’s really unconvincing that he’s not actually in love with her husband (he’s not for very stupid lore reasons, the whole ‘parabatai are magically prevented from being romantically in love, except for these two straight people, when historically parabatai pairs were two men’ makes my fucking blood boil)

you might ask why I still read these books even though they make me angry and the answer is the 1) the aesthetic slaps 2) some of the characters are fun 3) the premise has enough potential that it could be good if it was good 4) sometimes I need to get cathartically angry abt bad fiction bc it just. does not matter

watching: so many things that I’m gonna just. run through them real quick

Word of Honor: gestures vaguely at how it’s slowly taking over my blog

Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty: love a found family, eh about the politics, can’t believe I predictably got a new fave character within the last two episodes of the show because one of the main characters is betrayed by his second-in-command and I think treason is the sexiest part of a relationship

SamBucky show: in the original draft of this post I said that it was so boring that week (episode 3) that I completely forgot about it until I saw the draft below this one talking about how bad and boring it is. at least more happened in later episodes and they’re finally giving me some tasty queerbaiting but the premise and the politics are. wow. it sure is military propaganda

My Hero Academia: new season is fun, love a tournament arc. don’t love that they tell us right away that the double agent character is a double agent, it was more fun in the manga when you’re not sure if he’s a traitor or not for a pretty long time

Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun: new season is cute, there sure is some gender happening. there’s a tsundere bisexual catgirl

Backflip!!: I usually avoid high school sports anime for backstory reasons but my roommate wanted to watch it with me and oh boy these gymnasts sure are gay for each other huh

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood: my roommate pitched this to me as ‘cyberpunk but in the 1930s’ and there sure is dark lighting, lots of glowy neon stuff, and government oppression, which are the most important elements of cyberpunk apparently. not sure how I feel about it yet, because there’s a cool shapeshifting lady assassin with a revenge quest but there’s also a trans character who was revealed to be trans in a way that I personally did not enjoy. yes you can have transphobic villains but like. hmm. maybe the audience shouldn’t find out that someone is trans because the villain cuts his shirt away specifically to ~put him in his place. or maybe I personally am just sensitive to that but either way no thank you

on the other hand, the main character is sick as shit

The World Ends with You: god I love an anime about the power of friendship. I’ve only had these kids for two episodes and I would lay down my life for them

Nirvana in Fire: we’re only three episodes in and I did spend the first half of the first ep being like. oh god which of these people are actually important who am I supposed to care about here. and then by the end of the first ep I knew which ones I cared about and am now very afraid for their safety. do love the political intrigue though

playing: got through the first mission of Brigmore Witches. I love a good undercover mission, I wish I hadn’t been too afraid of like. alarms going off if I freed the other prisoners because I think Comrade Daud should do a jailbreak, and Lizzy Stride can call me anytime

also recently have played various ttrpgs including Firebrands, more Things, Eldritch and Terrifying, Link, and of course more Beam Saber (oh shit I meant to do my recap post for last session OOPS)

making: Zan and I made some real good chicken parm the other night, vaguely based on this recipe. by which I mean, we looked at the recipe to see how many eggs to use and how long to cook it and pretty much nothing else. the egg marinade step seemed unnecessary and I made the sauce the way I always make tomato sauce, which some day I should write down because it does in fact fuck. the secret is a shit-ton of oregano and basil and no chunks of tomato because fuck that. bad texture

Zan made the zucchini which also slapped, using some of the leftover bread crumbs

writing: I’ve posted a couple of things but most recently I wrote some rarepair femslash. this is the first fic for this ship on ao3 and the second ship in the f/f tag for this fandom that’s actually about the women in the show (as opposed to showing up in the f/f tag because it’s marked as “multi” or like. genderbent versions of the main m/m ship) but like. look at them. they’re terrible evil assassin women and they’re in love. anyway I’ve gotten over being embarrassed about having written a sex scene and moved on to wanting people to read my fic. there’s sparring as foreplay it’s a good time

#dreaming.txt #tuesday no problem extended universe

[aromoji]

So I’m finally getting around to do that aspec Q & A that @ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity posted, and I have quite a few aspec ocs so this could get rather lengthy but here we go

1. What was your inspiration for your character(s)? Are they modeled on yourself, a person that you know, or a character that’s already been established?

My first aspec oc, Abby Scott, was based on myself when I thought I was a biromantic ace girl. So she takes a lot after me. 

Theo Yamada, on the other hand, was a completely new character. I don’t exactly remember why I made him alloarospec, and I’ve been flipping from one arospec identity to the other, but no matter what he always remained alloaro. 

Mina Nicholson was my first character that I had predetermined to be alloaro from the start. She’s based on an old tumblr post about some super hero series idea called “Aces and Arrows.” I obviously didn’t make Mina into some superhero, but her guitar skills make her come pretty close :D. 

Brittany Olajobi is also based on an old tumblr post. Remember the “All or Nothing” idea thing that was floating around here?(Yes, I’m aware it turned into a scam, but I thought the premise was cute). Since no one actually made anything out of that I decided to make the characters my own. The asexual and pansexual girls were roomates....but also girlfriends. That idea kinda evolved into one of my newer series called “Play the Rainbow”, but that’s gonna take a while to explain.

Queenie Brooks...is based on a crude caricature someone made of an ace person (the “artist” has probably never talked to an ace person outside of tumblr but whatever), so I took that character and fleshed her out. She’s an aroace trans girl who’s evry big in activist circles, especialy the sex worker industry

2. How much, if any, has your character(s) changed since they were first created? What caused this change?

Abby and Brittany haven’t changed much besides in their appearance, Queenie and Mina underwent drastic appearance changes since they were created, and Theo’s kinda been going back and forth on the aromantic spectrum,  from strictly aro to demiromantic to aroflux. I’ve finally settled one greyromantic, which coinicdentially is what I identify as.

4. Do you intend on publishing your story one day? Why, or why not?

Probably not. I’m closeted in real life and likely to stay that way as long as I’m financially dependent on my parents.

7. Time to get serious for a bit. There’s been heavy debate on having non-human characters identify as ace, aro, non-binary, etc., but never actual humans. As someone who’s aspec, how would you explain to someone who’s allo why this can be and is seen as hurtful?

Ace and Aro people have been seen as inhuman and robotic for not feeling attraction, especially not in the same way that people who aren’t aro or ace do. Please reconsider making that animal/robot/alien oc aspec unless all or most of your characters aren’t human as well.

8. It’s a sad reality that many stories in mainstream media don’t have characters that are aspec, not to mention without resorting to harmful stereotypes. Besides there being nothing wrong with IDing as aspec, why did you choose to have your character ID as such? What would you tell other authors who’re interested in writing characters that are aspec, but are afraid of offending the community?

I make my characters aspec because. I’m aspec. Also there aren’t a lot of aspec representation (the little we get lol) that isn’t white or cis or yes, heteromantic./heterosexual. Considering the fact that I’m none of those things, all of my aspec ocs are poc like me, some even trans as well. To authours who want to write aspec characters but don’t want to offend the community, PLEASE ask around. Ask more than one person of that specific demographic. Their opinion should not be the only one that shapes yours! Also, if you’re writing an alloaro character, don’t ask someone who’s alloace or aroace. Similarly, don’t ask an alloaro person about writing alloace/aroace characters. Aspec people are not a monolith, our experiences are not the same

9. If you’re comfortable with sharing, what is your characters’ identity? Do they use any microlabels? Does theirs reflect your own?

Abby is a biromantic ace, Theo is a greyromantic bisexual, Mina is an alloaro bisexual, Brit is an ace lesbian, and Queenie is an oriented aroace trans woman.

11. Why do you think that not just representation is important, but GOOD representation? Can you offer any examples?

Fiction affects reality. Therefore, how people see us in the media affects how they see us in real life.

14. What’s a brief biography of your character? Is their history, personality, and/or looks similar to your own?

Uh I don’t necessarily have biographies for them but I have an oc carrd with their details

15. What are the themes of your story? Is it a lighthearted adventure, or are we talking deep, ocean-sized levels of angst? Why, or why not, did you choose them?

It’s a mix of light hearted fun and lots of angst. But everyone (who deserves it) gets a happy ending so it’s all good.

16. How long have you been writing? Has your style changed from when you first began to now? What are some tips you’d give to those who’re interested in writing a story of their own, be it professionally or as a hobby?

I’ve been writing since I was 8. I once won an honorable mention in a writing competition in the third grade believe it or not lol. My writing has definetely changed a lot, and that’s partially thanks to my English teachers I had along the way. My advice to people interested in writing a story on their own is to invest in a laptop/notebook and find time to write. Any time at all.

17. What’s your process for writing? Do you plan your story out first, write whatever you want then edit later, or both? How might this help others?

Planning? Ha! I write as I go. Sometimes I go back and edit entire scenes before publishing tho.

18. Your book’s become quite popular, easily reaching the New York Times Bookseller list, and now, you’ve been picked to lead a writing workshop. It goes swimmingly, and afterward, someone comes and tells you that your book not only inspired them to write a story of their own, but also helped them discover and accept their identity. What’s your reaction?

I’m...not good with compliments.

20. Just for fun, write down a paragraph of your most recent writing. It can be an action-packed scene, some witty dialogue, or a colorful description that you really enjoyed. (Be sure to properly tag any possible triggers!)

Here’s what I’ve started working on:

Theo smooths out the wrinkles on his blue uniform, giving himself a once over in the mirror. All his belongings of 5 long years were packed and ready to board on the ship the  higher-ups would issue to him He turns and takes down one last poster and rolls it up, placing it in his duffel bag. Perfect. Now all he had to do was go through the graduation ceremony and he’d get his first assignment. His hard work being at the top of his class was finally going to pay off.

“Heyyyy, my older twin’s looking sharp tonight!” Trent exclaims, leaning in the doorway with his own uniform in red. He whirls into the room, flopping on the now barren bed. “Ahh, this bed has so many memories. Come on, sit with me!”

“Trent, the ceremony’s so soon.”

“Theooooo,” he pouts. “This may be the last time we see this room, because we’ll be in space!”

He wiggles his fingers in Theo’s face for dramatic effect. The older twin chuckles, taking a seat on the bed.

“Let’s see,” Theo muses, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “I remember when we first got here. We were 10 years old, tiny, adorable and innocent little creatures. You were so terrified because they had put us in separate rooms.”

“I was not!” Trent argues. “It was just…a bit of a shock considering I always slept with someone else in my room instead of…all by myself.’

“Whatever. You crept into my room in the middle of the night, poked me awake and gave me the whole puppy-dog-eyes-and-quivering-bottom-lip routine to get me to beg me to let you sleep in my bed that night.”

“And you pretty much told me to go play in traffic,” he laughs. “And I still got in your bed anyway and slept there the whole night!”

“And you kept doing it until you turned 12!” Theo finishes with a playful shove.

#✨.txt #text #aro awareness week #aro #acetag #long post #arospec awareness week

[angelofthequeers]

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 43

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Enjoy this fluff because next chapter is when shit goes down :)

Chapter 42 | Chapter 44 | AO3 link

[7:02 pm] Luka <3

Adrien: so

Adrien: mari and kagami are on their date

Adrien: wanna chat?

Luka: that better not have been a pun

Adrien: :)

Adrien: no but srsly

Adrien: i’m gonna do it

Luka: ???

Adrien: i’m gonna come out

Adrien: and my dad can suck it

Luka: not sure whether i like being a reason for you to stick it to him

Adrien: nah you’re not

Adrien: more like a convenient excuse

Adrien: but like

Adrien: fuck if i gotta be the agreste poster boy then let me be out

Luka: for what it’s worth, i’m proud of you

Adrien: aww you know how to make a cat blush

Luka: you’re going to have so many people looking up to you

Luka: speaking from experience

Adrien: if i gotta be a role model then at least it’s for this

Luka: are you going to talk to marinette and kagami about it first?

Adrien: ofc

Adrien: just let them enjoy their date first lol

Adrien: wonder how they’re going

Luka: well, we haven’t seen any akumas yet, so i’m assuming it’s going well

Adrien: lmao

Adrien: so like uh

Adrien: wanna help me figure out wtf to say in the vid?

Luka: it’d be my pleasure

.

“Nathalie?” Adrien says at dinner two nights later. “Could I speak to Father for five minutes?”

“He’s very busy,” Nathalie says automatically. “If you have a message for him –”

“I know he’s too busy to see me most days. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

Nathalie raises an eyebrow. “Just how important can it be that you would disturb him?”

With a sigh, Adrien beckons her over, then unlocks his phone and taps into the video he’d sweated over all afternoon thanks to his last-minute Chinese cancellation. “I’m going to go ahead and say something no matter what,” he says. “But I want to make sure that it’s not going to “besmirch” the Agreste name or whatever Father says. I promised him I wouldn’t do that if I got to be with Marinette.”

After Adrien presses play, his face appears on the small phone screen, grinning rather nervously.

“Hey, everyone,” video Adrien says, scratching the back of his neck. “So, you’ve all been really great about my relationship with Marinette, and I couldn’t be more thankful. She’s just…amazing. The light of my life. But there’s something else that’s been going on behind the scenes, and I wanted to be honest and upfront with you guys. You all deserve that much.

“I’m just gonna come right out and say this first part. I’m…bi. Bisexual. As in, I don’t just like girls. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for months now, and my amazing princess has been my anchor while I’ve been figuring it out. She’s bi too, you know? And yes, she told me to say that, otherwise I wouldn’t breathe a word.

“A lot of people seem to think that being bi makes you, uh…promiscuous. That you want to jump every person you see. And that couldn’t be further from the truth. If a straight guy can be attracted to other girls and still choose his girlfriend, I can be attracted to other people and still be faithful to my Marinette. Attraction, not actions – and yes, I did come up with that, so feel free to use it.” Video Adrien shoots a finger-gun at the camera.

“But there’s another aspect of both me and Marinette that we’ve spent months wrestling over, and I like to think that us being so open about it with each other is what made our relationship so strong. We’re both polyamorous. We both love more than one person and want to be with that boy and girl, and we do plan on taking a group pic and being totally open about it with you guys to avoid any rumours, although we do ask that you respect our privacy and don’t bombard us with negativity or requests to “join” us.

“And I just wanna be clear: I’m not bi because I’m polyam, and I’m not polyam because I’m bi. You know, the whole promiscuous bi stereotype I mentioned before. Being polyam doesn’t mean I’m open to every single person who asks me out. It just means that having a relationship with multiple people who I’m attracted to feels…right. You know, how most people might be attracted to someone else but feel wrong if they choose to date that person as well as their partner. It’s the opposite for me and Marinette. We’ve both got so much love to give and we don’t feel right being constrained by this expectation that we can only date each other. There’s nothing wrong with monogamy or polyamory, and we’re just asking people to be respectful of us.

“So, um…yeah. That’s it. Thanks for listening, guys. And thanks for being respectful. I figured that if I could help just one person by coming out, this would be worth it, because I know I would’ve killed for someone to look up to and help me figure myself out. Uh, bye!”

The video ends with another finger-gun. Adrien swallows and tries not to shift in his seat as Nathalie regards him silently with her usual impassive face. It’s always impossible to read just what his father’s assistant is thinking, even after years of knowing her.

“I see no problem with the video,” Nathalie finally says. “But I’d refrain from posting it until I show your father and get his approval. Just send it to me and I’ll show him.”

“Right – thanks, Nathalie!”

Surprisingly, Adrien’s father must be in a good mood today, because Nathalie returns to summon Adrien as soon as he’s finished eating. There’s a knot in Adrien’s stomach as he knocks on the door of Gabriel’s atelier and pushes it open as soon as he’s instructed to do so, and he can only pray that he doesn’t throw up right in front of Gabriel, because that’s possibly the fastest way to shoot himself in the foot right now.

“So…” Adrien says. Gabriel holds a hand up, his cold grey eyes piercing Adrien’s very core, unsettling Adrien’s soul and leaving him to direct his willpower into not fidgeting with his ring.

“That was quite the interesting video that Nathalie showed me,” Gabriel finally says. Adrien swallows and wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans.

“Y-Yeah…”

“I can’t help but feel that it’s a little…greedy of you, Adrien. You have Miss Dupain-Cheng, after all.”

Adrien’s fingers twitch with the effort it takes to not clench them into fists. “I’m not greedy for liking more than one person, Father,” he says as evenly as he can manage.

“Well, if Miss Dupain-Cheng has this many…ah, shortcomings –”

“What? You think I want to be with Luka and Kagami as well to – to make up for Marinette’s flaws?” Now Adrien does clench his fists, and he’s pretty sure his set jaw is visibly rigid. “That’s not how polyamory works, Father. I’ve done my research! You think this is something I’d just jump into –”

“Watch your tone,” Gabriel says sharply. “Perhaps your girlfriend has been a negative influence after all. I may have to –”

“No,” Adrien hisses. Gabriel’s eyebrows fly to his hairline.

“No?” he repeats, as though it’s a word he’s never heard in his life. Adrien’s heart starts to race.

“I said no. You’re not taking Marinette away from me, Father. You’re not taking…the best thing that’s happened to me. And you’re not taking the others either. I didn’t come to ask for your permission. I came to compromise with you and let you approve of what I say in the video.”

“I’m not sure I like your attitude, young man. In fact, allowing you to attend school in the first place may have been my biggest error.”

Adrien can’t stop his jaw from dropping. What. The. Hell. Is Gabriel really that much of a control freak that he’d wish that Adrien had never found happiness just to maintain a modicum of control?

“You can withdraw me from school, but you can’t stop me from seeing my friends, Father,” Adrien snaps. His head’s spinning ever so slightly, and there’s a growl starting to rumble in his chest, and is he Adrien right now or Chat Noir? Adrien. He’s Adrien. Otherwise, Gabriel wouldn’t be looking at him like…that. “I’ll sneak out. I’ll always find a way to sneak out. I do fencing and Chinese and modelling to make you happy, because it’s a fair trade for letting me have a life with normal friends and normal school. But if you take away what makes me happy, I’ll take away any bit of control you have over me.”

“You are a child! You do whatever I say! I am your father!” Gabriel slams his palm on his desk. Adrien reflexively flinches, but then a tiny paw is digging into his ribs from inside his shirt, and it’s just grounding enough to stop him from babbling apologies and fleeing the room. He can do this. He can stand his ground. For Marinette and Luka and Kagami. For himself. All that’s necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing…even if he's about two seconds from falling to the floor unable to breathe in sheer panic.

“You’d really prefer that your own son has no happiness in his life just so you can keep controlling him like a puppet?” he says breathlessly. Gabriel visibly reacts, reeling back as though he’d been slapped, and he looks like he’s going to say something for a moment before looking down at his desk and shaking his head.

“Everything I’ve done has been for you, Adrien Agreste,” Gabriel says, his hand rising to clutch at his tie for a split second. His voice is so soft that it’s barely audible, so Adrien can’t quite make out whether there’s any danger in it. “All I’ve ever wanted is to keep you safe. To not lose you like I lost…”

Adrien’s shoulders slump. “You can’t shelter me forever, Father,” he says, forcing himself to imagine Marinette and Kagami and Luka’s voices alternating counting his breaths so that he doesn’t pass out. “I’ll be an adult in a few years and then I can leave, and I’ve still got no idea how to function like a normal person. Normal people don’t have my life. They’re not world-famous and modelling and studying Mandarin and fencing. And if you had your way…I’d never leave. I’d never have any idea how to leave. And I’d…I’d resent you for it.”

Gabriel is silent for such a long time that Adrien absently wonders if he’ll pass out anyway before his father speaks again, because the room is suddenly claustrophobic and hot and closing in on him, despite his controlled breathing.

“I see,” Gabriel eventually says. “If that’s how you really feel…”

Adrien braces himself for the inevitable crackdown for daring to speak his mind.

“…then I will allow you to also date this boy and girl,” Gabriel finishes. Adrien blinks, then blinks again to make sure that he’d heard right, because what? “So long as all of you behave properly and do not besmirch the Agreste name. The same conditions from when I allowed you to date Miss Dupain-Cheng still apply.”

“R-Really?” is all Adrien can say. Gabriel nods.

“I’ll also lessen your obligations on one weekday and one weekend day so that you may spend proper time with your partners,” he says. “In return, you will fully apply yourself to your studies and your extracurricular activities. You will not complain when I ask you to do something. You will let me know when you are going out and where you will be going. If your grades slip or your activities suffer, I will rescind my permission. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes!” Adrien blurts out, not even caring that he’s effectively agreeing to sit down and do as he’s told, because this is the most freedom he’s ever been given by his father! “Yes – thank you, Father! Thank you so much!”

For a nanosecond, there’s a ghost of a smile on Gabriel’s face. But it’s gone so fast that Adrien’s left wondering if his brain is playing tricks on him.

“I must admit, I may have become a little…overprotective after I was akumatised,” Gabriel says. “But unfortunately, you are right. I can’t shelter you forever. Before you go, tell me the people in whom you and Miss Dupain-Cheng are both interested.”

“The girl is Kagami,” Adrien says. “Ms Tsurugi knows. Marinette met her the other day. And the boy…his name’s Luka. Luka Couffaine. He’s…amazing, Father. He’s just as amazing as Marinette and Kagami, but in a totally different way.”

“Hmm.” Gabriel pulls his tablet back towards him. “Goodnight, Adrien.”

“Goodnight, Father,” Adrien replies, recognising a clear dismissal when he sees one. Well, now it’s time to head back to his room, scream into his pillow for a good minute, throw said pillow at Plagg when the little shit makes fun of him, then call Marinette and Luka and Kagami to yell at them for good measure.

.

“I have prior obligations,” Kagami sighs over FaceTime while Adrien and Luka are waiting for Marinette to finish getting ready for their date. “And besides, I had a date with Marinette last night. It’s fair that you both have one without me.”

“Kagami, we’re a quad,” Adrien says. “Why would we have weird arbitrary rules like that? I know we agreed to have different dates but not like that.”

“Exactly,” says a voice from behind Adrien. When he turns and is greeted by the sight of Marinette in a floaty blue sundress with her hair in a loose bun, his brain immediately short-circuits and all he can do is make garbled sounds that in no way resemble words in any language on Earth. A quick glance next to him informs him that Luka is in very much the same state.

“Nice work, Marinette,” Kagami says with twitching lips. “You broke them.”

“Oh, just you wait,” Marinette grins. “Next time, I’ll break you too. Wait, don’t distract me when I’m scolding you! No one’s more important than anyone else in this, Kagami. I told you that the other night.”

“We’re all in this together,” Adrien sings while his brain reboots. Marinette and Luka groan.

“I don’t understand,” Kagami says.

“If you reference that again, you won’t get any cuddles for a week,” Marinette says.

“I’ll put on my kitten eyes,” Adrien shoots back.

“What, the ones that make you look like a constipated whale?” Plagg says from inside Marinette’s purse, where he’s taken to hanging out with Tikki whenever Marinette and Adrien are in the same place. That one makes Marinette, Luka, and Kagami burst out laughing, while Adrien scowls at Marinette’s purse and Tikki can be heard scolding Plagg.

“Thank you for helping to soothe my irrationality,” Kagami says once the laughter’s died down. “I appreciate all of you. But I wasn’t lying when I said that I had prior obligations. Mother wants to test my fencing skills, to see how I’m progressing.”

“Ew.” Marinette wrinkles her nose. “Have fun. We’ll think of you while we’re drinking ice cold lemonade.”

“Thanks,” Kagami deadpans. Then she looks over her shoulder. “I have to go. Enjoy your date and tell me everything about it tonight.”

“Bye, Kagami!” the other three chorus before Kagami’s face disappears from Adrien’s phone screen.

“C’mon, let’s hurry up and get to the park!” Adrien whines, jumping up and tugging on Luka’s arm. “Then I can get sandwiched between two pretty people on a picnic blanket!”

“Really?” Marinette says. “You’re going to make a bread pun?”

“Hey, when the opportunity rises.”

“And just who says you’ll be the one in the middle?” Luka teases. Butterflies erupt in Adrien’s stomach when Luka slings an arm around him, then reaches out to ensnare a pink-faced Marinette and draw her to his other side. “I’m the tallest.”

“But I’m a cat,” Adrien argues. “You’re supposed to use me as a pillow.”

“Oh my god,” Marinette mutters. Luka grins and then, rather than arguing back, he simply dips his head and captures Adrien’s mouth in a sweet little kiss, and Adrien’s brain promptly liquefies and starts to trickle out of his ears.

“You were saying?” Luka says.

“I – no – must – stay strong,” Adrien babbles.

“I’ll be in the freaking middle!” Marinette says. “I’m the girl and the team leader, so there!”

“Ah, but we’re partners, bugaboo,” Adrien manages to fire back.

“And I’m not even part of the team,” Luka adds with a smirk. Marinette rolls her eyes.

“I’ll lie across both of you and you can cuddle each other!” she says, throwing her hands into the air. “How’s that?”

Adrien and Luka exchange grins. “Fine with us,” they chorus. Marinette sighs.

“What did I get myself into?” she says.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic #aotq fic #aotq: hold me #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #luka couffaine #kagami tsurugi #nathalie sancoeur #gabriel agreste #gabriel agreste's a+ parenting #lol fuck gabriel #ml polyamory #lukadrien #adrinette #adrienette #lukadrienette #lukadrigaminette

[pug-bitch]

That’s not why I’m going (24)

I can’t believe we’re alone

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive, and a VERY steamy scene. This is absolutely NOT appropriate for people under 18. 

Word count: 4,875 (let me know if the ‘keep reading’ cutoff isn’t working well!)

Notes: This picks up right after Drake and Amara take off for the cabin in Portavira, starting with Maxwell’s POV.

*****

‘Alright Amara, that sounds good. Yep, you two get some air, ok? We’ll be fine. No, no, don’t worry about us, I promise, Bertrand and I are gonna take good care of Hana. Love you, see you tomorrow!’

Maxwell hangs up, and turns to Bertrand and Hana, seated on his left in the towncar.

‘Are they ok?’ Hana asks.

‘They’re fine! They’re going to Jackson’s cabin in Portavira until the event on Monday. Amara needs a breather, and I think Drake too.’

Bertrand nods. Maxwell had expected his brother to protest, but ever since they’d talked about their father together, something in him had changed. ‘Then they need to do what’s best for them,’ Bertrand chimes in, surprisingly.

Max is taken aback, but he smiles at his brother. ‘Yeah. That being said, Drake wants to grill tomorrow night and he invites us over, that way we’ll be that much closer to Penelope’s estate.’

‘Oh my God that sounds great!’ Hana says excitedly. ‘I can’t wait to see the cabin!’

Max glances at his brother, who is suddenly looking out the window, his lips pursed. ‘Bertrand, Amara said you’re invited. Come with us!’

His face lights up, and Max’s heart sinks. How many times had he excluded his brother, simply because they didn’t have the same notion of fun? Bertrand clears his throat and says ‘I unfortunately cannot. I’m, um… I have to meet with Prince Liam tomorrow in the late afternoon. About Father and how to go about it.’

Max nods. He and Bertrand had discussed the matter, and both agreed that it was time to stop the blackmail. But first, they needed to talk to Liam and make sure they did it right. After that, they would find a time and a way to openly discuss their father’s secret with the court, and the country, which would allow them to both stop paying off Albert --and, most logically, to let him go--, and to advocate for LGBTQ rights. Max had suggested that they give the money that served to buy Albert’s silence to an association. Bertrand had loved the idea. Of course they wouldn’t be able to do it every month, but once in a while was important.

Max was not surprised that his brother was supportive. Ever since he’d told him about their father’s secret, Maxwell couldn’t stop thinking about the year he came out as bisexual, to both his dad and brother, when he was 18. He was terrified of their reaction, but Bertrand had been nothing but supportive, and although talking about it made him blush, he even encouraged Max to bring his girlfriends or boyfriends home as he pleased. Their father simply gave him a pat in the back, and told him this only sentence: ‘You are who you are, son, in the privacy of your own life.’ Max had always thought it was because his father did not want a stain on their reputation. But now he knew he was hurting from his own lie and simply didn’t know how else to deal with it.

As a result, Max never really came out publicly, just to his friends, and whenever he dated men, he did so in a discreet manner, avoiding the spotlight. With his party boy reputation, he was sure that, if he was ever caught by a photographer kissing a man, it would just be shrugged off as ‘Maxwell Beaumont is so silly! He kisses boys when he’s drunk, what a scamp!’

Max didn’t care, though. His friends knew him, he knew himself, and that’s all that matters.

But maybe this was the moment? Maybe not. If he came out publicly now, some old school, ignorant bigots would probably claim that queerness is hereditary, and that would hurt the cause more than help it. Maybe he’d be public about it one day, but not now. He didn’t feel the need to, anyway.

Max was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice that they had arrived at Ramsford. It would be weird to be here without Dramara. In such a short time, Amara had become so important to him, like a sister, the sister he never had. Funnily enough, if he had had one, he would have never been able to sponsor Amara for the competition, and the rest is history.

‘Are you alright, Maxwell?’ Hana asks sweetly.

He squeezes her hand and responds, ‘Yes hun. I’m glad you’re here. Let’s go have fun!’

*****

Olivia looks at her phone. Her fucking phone, the origin of all this bullshit. A text from Amara, after dodging about 4 calls from her. She wasn’t the worst person to talk to, far from it, but Olivia just didn’t feel like talking right now. Still, she opens the text.

Wanna come to Drake’s cabin tomorrow night for a barbecue? You can stay over, the whole gang is coming. Please, Liv?

She rolls her eyes, but quickly responds.

Yes. Stop harassing me, I’ll come.

The dots appear, and soon another text.

Ok, I’ll leave you be. Just please tell me if you’re ok, and please promise you’ll call if you need anything.

She rolls her eyes again, but deep down, she’s grateful that someone’s in her corner.

Yes and yes.

Without giving Amara any more time to respond, Liv throws her phone at the bottom of a drawer. She doesn’t want to see it right now. She hates to admit it, but the perspective of slumming it in a dirty cabin tomorrow is refreshing. She needs out of this mess, even if it means staring at Walker’s antler collection.

As she’s about to get into more comfortable clothes, she hears a knock. ‘Liv? It’s me.’

Liam. Just who she doesn’t want to see.

But she’s gonna have to face him at some point. ‘Come in.’

As he carefully enters her room, she corrects her posture, and makes a point of maintaining eye contact with him. Fake it til you make it, right?

‘How you holding up?’ he asks, while closing the door behind him.

‘I’m fine.’

Was she, though? She’s not ashamed of having casual sex with a hot man who happens to work for her, not at all. She’s not one to be bashful about those things.

No, that’s not what’s bothering her. She saw Liam’s face fall when he opened his envelope. She saw the disappointment. So sure, she could be mad at him for taking her for granted all their lives, and for holding up to a double standard. As Amara pointed it out, he’s upset at her banging someone else when he has a literal litter of women pursuing him? That’s not fair.

But she knows he knows. She knows he realizes why she’s banging Ilya.

To forget him, to pretend that everything is ok, even if he doesn’t choose her, even when he doesn’t choose her.

That’s not how a Queen would deal with things.

‘Liv, tell me the truth. We both know you didn’t do anything wrong, but it can’t be easy, having your private life broadcasted like that--’

‘I’m fine, Liam,’ she repeats, her tone as cutting as possible.

Liam throws his hands in the air and responds, ‘Alright. Whatever you say.’ He gestures to the ottoman next to her bed, and raises his eyebrows at her. She nods, and he sits down. ‘I, um… I’m sorry that happened, for what it’s worth. I’ll do whatever it takes to find who did this.’

‘Liam, we both know who did this. Madeleine.’

Liam nods. ‘She’s part of it for sure. But I discussed it with Drake and Amara, and they both agree that she couldn’t have done any of this alone. Logistically, it’s not possible.’

‘No shit,’ Liv says. ‘Ask yourself the right questions, Li.’

‘What do you mean?’

She sighs. ‘Just be careful who you trust.’

He nods, visibly not comprehending everything. ‘You’re right.’

She can tell he’s watching his mouth around her, he’s tiptoeing around the problem, and it kills her. Fuck it, she thinks. She’ll just ram right into it.

‘Not much of a royal attitude I have, huh?’ she asks bitterly.

Liam chuckles, and looks at his feet. ‘I don’t know why you’re saying this. You can do whatever you want, and in fact, you know as well as I do that many nobles are not monogamous, so…’

‘But they don’t really fuck the help, do they?’

She didn’t mean to sound so condescending. That’s not her. She doesn’t look down at commoners the way that Neville does, for instance. But it just came out of her mouth before she could stop herself. She’s not going to correct herself, that’s not her either.

‘Liv, I don’t judge you. I promise. You and I never established--’

‘Yeah yeah, I get it, we never had anything worth keeping. Now please get out, I’m tired. I won’t join for dinner, but tomorrow I’ll be at breakfast. Bye, Liam.’

He opens his mouth to respond, but quickly gives up, sighs, and heads towards the door. ‘See you tomorrow, Livvy.’

As he closes the door, tears flow to her eyes. He hadn’t called her that since childhood, since their sleepovers. ‘Night, Livvy,’ he would say, while they were counting the stars on his bedroom ceiling.

No, she won’t cry. Not today. She can still breathe.

*****

Drake can already feel himself relax as they’re getting closer to the cabin. He can tell that Amara is relaxing too, judging from the way she started to chat excitedly once they were about half an hour away from the capital.

‘Look at these birds, Drake! So pretty!’

He turns his head towards her, and smiles upon seeing that she is peacefully smiling at the fauna they are passing on the country road. Part of him was scared that she wouldn’t enjoy the countryside, what with her being a New Yorker, but he can see that he was wrong.

‘I hope you like the cabin,’ he says. ‘It’s very remote but it has everything we need.’

She nods. ‘Of course I’ll like it! I’m not in a state of mind to complain about the lack of wifi, believe me. I’m excited to get away!’

Drake chuckles. ‘Heh, there’s actually wifi in there, you know. I’m there quite often and I like being able to watch movies and TV shows. So you see, it’s more modern than you thought already!’

She smiles and takes his hand, placing it on her thigh where she grips it tightly. ‘Thank you for taking me, Walker. It’s exactly what we need right now.’

‘You’re welcome, it’s literally my pleasure. I’m looking forward to just us.’

‘Me too. Just us, no talking about anything upsetting, ok?’

He nods enthusiastically. ‘Absolutely. No investigations, right?’

‘I’m putting all of this on hold, I promise,’ she responds. ‘Can I just ask you something, one last thing, before we get there?’

His heart tightens. ‘Tell me.’

She sighs deeply. ‘Do you think our friends are ok? I think Hana is, but Liv? Max and Bertrand after all the talk about their father?’

‘I think so. Max is stronger than you think. It may look like Bertrand is the rock of the family, and in a lot of ways he is, but Max is emotionally very strong. Healthy emotions, no repression.’

Amara nods. ‘I see that. I just…’ she shakes her head and stays silent.

‘What babe? Tell me.’ He squeezes her hand.

‘I know Max had a complicated relationship with his father, and he told me that when he came out to him, Barthélémy’s reaction was...underwhelming. Now that we know what we know, there’s definitely a lot to unpack there. I wonder if Max needs to talk about it. I just want to be there for him the way he was for me. For us.’

There it is. Amara is such a good friend, she tends to put herself second, Drake knows that about her already. ‘You are there for him, Suarez. You’re just taking an evening off. We’ll see them tomorrow. He’s not alone.’

He’s squeezing her hand still, eyes on the road. He doesn’t want to look at her, because if he does right now, he may never look away again. His hand feels warm, entangled with hers, and he has trouble defining what he feels. Warmth, happiness maybe. A furious need to be there for the woman he loves and admires so much.

A ravaging fear of letting her down.

*****

‘This is amazing, Drake,’ Amara whispers as they both walk into the cabin.

She takes it all in; the wood panels, the rustic, simple furniture, the smell of fresh air and lavender. She noticed tons of lavender everywhere in the front yard as they got out of the car.

‘Really?’ he asks, visibly nervous.

She knows he has always compared himself to Liam, and that he has an inferiority complex. She just has no idea why. No one could look at this amazing man and think he’s inferior to anyone.

She has just walked in, and yet she feels a thousand times more at home here than she has ever felt in the palace. Or even in her own apartment in Brooklyn, which had always felt like the wrong place. The only place she had ever felt this way about was her parents’ house in the Philadelphia suburbs. A small, modest house, but in a nice neighborhood, and with a huge backyard where she and Sergio would run around when they were kids, and later on, lay in the sun with books and drinks. Their dad still lived there with Nancy, he never had the heart to sell it, and probably never would. When you lose so many people, you want to hold on to the feeling of truly belonging somewhere. That house was like a family member.

That’s how she feels now. Like home.

‘Yeah, really,’ she replies, a little twinge in her voice. ‘I love it.’

Drake rubs his neck awkwardly and smiles at her. ‘Do you want a tour? I’ll give you some toiletries and maybe some clothes until Max brings your stuff. Sav still has a room here, and lots of things in her closet.’

Amara nods. She closes the distance between them and grabs Drake’s hand. ‘Thank you,’ she whispers in his ear, before kissing his neck. ‘I’m not sure we’re gonna need clothes, but ok.’

Drake’s face breaks into a wide grin, as he captures her lips into a deep kiss. They both lose themselves in the moment and Amara feels her head spin. She throws her arms around him, and he pulls her closer.

‘Fuck, I can’t believe we’re alone,’ he whispers, his voice raspy.

Amara has to stop herself so as to not rip off his shirt. After all, this is the finest denim, it should be treated carefully. With shaky hands, she impatiently unbuttons it and throws it on the ground, before pulling off his T-shirt. She’d missed feeling him close to her. Ever since the wave of paranoia, they had barely had the opportunity to be alone, and even when they were, they had to be careful.

No more being careful here, though. Drake responds by unzipping her floral dress and letting it drop to the floor, without ever interrupting their kiss. She can feel his hardness against her, and she can’t wait any longer to set it free. Her hands explore his stomach, then venture south where they undo his belt and unzip his jeans. Amara can’t help but let out a moan upon touching his big, hard cock. She wants it, she wants him really badly. She pulls down his boxers, and lets her hands roam all over his naked body.

He guides her to the kitchen island, a square, wooden cabinet on which Drake hoists her up swiftly, still kissing her. Once she is seated, he spreads her legs open with a movement of his knee, and Amara feels her core burning. She grabs his cock in her hand, drawing a low groan from Drake, and proceeds to pull her own panties to the side. He stops her in a swift hand motion, and pulls down her underwear so quickly that a yelp escapes her mouth.

With one hand on her pussy, he unhooks her bra with the other, and then caresses her breasts softly and lovingly. Amara can’t take it anymore, she’s so wet that she’s worried she will flood the island. ‘Fuck me,’ she whispers. ‘Please.’

He slides two fingers inside her at once, and explores her core in circular motion. She moans tirelessly, hungry for more.

‘You’re so wet,’ he whispers into their kiss.

‘I want you,’ she groans, impatient. ‘Now, Drake, please.’

But he continues to tease her clit with his thumb, his index and middle fingers still inside her. She bucks her hips and grinds his hand, moaning louder and louder. His impossibly hard cock is resting on her thigh, and she feels him getting impatient too, as he pushes himself closer and closer to her. Finally, he puts his tip on her entrance, and Amara can’t help herself but moan loudly in relief. She needs him now, why is he making her wait?

When he pushes himself into her, he lets out a long and deep groan, as if he had been waiting to enter her for hours. She would like it to last, she really would, but she is so close to orgasming from the anticipation, and she knows he’s close too. Too bad, she thinks, they’re gonna have to do it again later and savor the moment more. For now, she wants him to fuck her senseless.

*****

They had come together and it had been mind blowing. Still giddy and shaky from the orgasm and the closeness he had shared with Amara, Drake poured two whiskeys and smiled as he watched her put her dress back on.

‘You look beautiful,’ he says.

‘You look beautiful too, Walker,’ she responds playfully.

He walks towards her and kisses her on the lips as he gives her a glass of whiskey. He felt totally relaxed. Not to mention it felt good to be as loud as they want. No more muffled sounds, no more stress about who might hear. Over here, no one could.

Even the location of the cabin was pretty secret, as it was not on an official road. You’d need to know where to go. Max knew, of course, and so did Liam, but that was about it. Drake wasn’t even sure if Liv had ever been here.

‘Do you want to go sit in the backyard?’ he asks.

She nods, excited. ‘Yes! Let’s enjoy the sun.’

They had to wipe down two chairs; Drake hadn’t been at the cabin in a while and everything was covered in pollen outside. He couldn’t stop smiling, he was simply loving life too much right now. What more could he want? He was away from everything, with the woman he loves.

‘What’s up with the goofy grin, Walker?’ Amara asks cheekily.

Drake chuckles. ‘You know exactly what’s up.’

‘Oh, you’re feeling smug because you drove me crazy and made me wait forever?’ she responds with a grin.

‘Heh, I have no idea what you’re talking about, Suarez.’ He takes her hand and kisses it. ‘It’s just that… you know.’ She raises an eyebrow, prompting him to continue. He obliges. ‘I love you.’

Her face lights up. ‘I love you too.’

They sit outside, side by side, their whiskey in hand, for a while. Then, Drake breaks the comfortable silence. ‘I didn’t even give you a tour.’

‘I saw the kitchen island, that’s all that counts, right?’

He laughs. ‘Do you want to see upstairs? It’s not much but…’

‘I’d love to see upstairs. Let’s go.’

He guides her to Sav’s room first, and shows her to the clothes she’s welcome to borrow. She looks at the framed pictures of the two Walker kids, tracing the frames with her fingertips, not saying a word. She stops at a group photo, including a younger gang: Max, Drake, Liam, Kiara, and Savannah. ‘Wow,’ she says, ‘you know this pic is old when Maxwell doesn’t have his hippo tat yet!’

Drake laughs heartily. ‘Exactly. We were kids.’

‘You were cute. Very broody. Just like now…’

He shows her his bedroom next, the same one he lived in on weekends when he was young. He changed it all though, he didn’t keep it intact the way Sav did. He wanted this place to make him feel like an adult, unlike his room at the palace, which made him feel like a teenage mooch. He’d thought of taking the master bedroom in the cabin, now that his dad had passed and his mom was back in the States. But he couldn’t bring himself to move in. Couldn’t get past his dad’s lingering presence, which made him ache still. So, he had turned his teenage bedroom into something more adult, with fewer posters and more artwork, a bigger bed, better sheets, and even a loveseat for when he wanted to read in the evenings.

‘Drake, this is beautiful,’ Amara whispers. ‘Very nicely decorated, and so tidy. I’m impressed.’

‘Did you expect a bachelor pad?’ he asks, a smile on his face.

She laughs. ‘Not really. I know you’re tidy. I just expected something different. More of a time capsule, less of adult you.’

He nods. ‘I do what I can.’ He smiles at her and wraps his arms around her. ‘The bathroom is next door, feel free to take what you need. Mi casa es su casa, ok? I’m gonna go to the store to get some food for tonight and tomorrow. Any requests?’

‘Just one,’ Amara responds, her face lighting up. ‘Can I come with you?’

*****

Olivia had ventured out of her room right before dinner to get some food. She’d thought of asking Ilya to bring her some, but she didn’t feel like talking to him today at all. He’d called her several times, but she didn’t pick up, so he’d sent her many apology messages. She’d reply another time. She didn’t want him to feel guilty about something that had never been wrong to begin with.

She wasn’t even hungry, so she’d pecked at her food while she was watching Killing Eve on her iPad. Something about assassins helped her relax.

When she heard a knock on her door, she debated playing dead. She was sure it was Liam again, to try and convince her to come down for dinner. She was in no mood to talk to him again.

‘Liv, it’s Rashad.’

She sat up, startled. She and Rashad were far from being close, but they respected each other, and enjoyed each other’s company at official functions, as two cool, cynical people. Maybe he wouldn’t be annoying, who knew. So, for some reason, she went and opened the door.

‘Hey Liv,’ he says nonchalantly, ‘can I come in? I come bearing gifts.’ He holds up a plate of pastries and a bottle of vodka.

‘Fine,’ she responds coldly, even though the sight of the vodka made her heart skip a beat. She was almost out of scotch, so this was good timing.

He closes the door behind him. ‘I won’t pry, I won’t ask questions. Let’s just gorge on éclairs and drink the entire bottle of vodka. Ok?’

She takes one too many seconds to respond. ‘It’s 7. You should be at dinner.’

He shrugs playfully. ‘Eh, I’m not in the mood. All of the interesting people are gone someplace or other tonight. I was starting to regret staying at the palace, but then I remembered that at least, one interesting person remains. Hidden, here, in your lair. So, here I am.’

Liv represses a smile. ‘Fine. But we’re watching my show.’

‘What is it?’ he glances at the screen. ‘Oh, Killing Eve. Love it. Do you have any glasses?’

Olivia nods. ‘Yes. Glasses are over there. Make mine a triple.’

*****

‘We have to buy these. Oh, and these!’ Amara gestures at all kinds of cheeses.

Drake laughs, ‘Hey, hold on, we’re gonna need a bigger basket if you continue.’

She pouts, ‘But the cheese… we can’t get anything that good in the US!’

‘Ha, I know. Alright, let’s take it all. If you and I don’t eat it, Max will tomorrow.’

Amara was delighted. Sure, it was a simple grocery store, about twenty minutes from the cabin, still in the middle of nowhere in Portavira. But that’s exactly what she loved about it. No frills, no court, no bodyguards, no one watching them, just Drake. She was dying to do more normal people stuff with him, was aching to get away from it all. She was still feeling guilty about leaving Max, Liv, and Hana when they needed her, but the guilt was starting to fade away as she felt more and more comfortable in this new, amazingly simple routine with Drake.

He’d chosen fish fillets for tonight, that he would bake in the oven, accompanied by rice and vegetables. She was enjoying looking at him, at how happy he was, conceiving a menu and describing to her how he would cook the ingredients. He also picked up hamburger patties and sausages for tomorrow’s barbecue, as well as some crudités and snacks. Eggs for breakfast, bacon, fruit. He was thinking about everything.

‘Do you want me to make a dessert for tomorrow?’ Amara asks.

‘If you want to, that would be great,’ he smiles as he’s putting peaches in his basket.

‘I could make a pineapple cake,’ she says excitedly.

‘Sounds awesome.’

She kisses his cheek, excited to be a part of the hosting process, even though she is fully aware that Drake is enjoying himself doing all the prep. She can’t help but imagine what life could be like if they just escaped court, and had a regular job, without any blackmailers or sneaky bodyguards. She lets herself dream for now, because she knows in a couple of days, they’ll have to report back to Penelope’s, and by next weekend, Liam will have chosen a Queen. Amara tries to chase all stressful thoughts from her head. Maybe everything will fall into place, that’s what she needs to hold on to.

*****

‘The sexual tension is phenomenal,’ Rashad murmurs, absentmindedly biting into a small puff pastry.

‘Shh,’ Liv says, ‘you’re misreading the show, so shut up.’

Rashad scoffs, and pauses the video, to Olivia’s dismay. ‘Hold on,’ he slurs, already drunk after three very generous shots of vodka, ‘are you telling me you’re not watching this for the character interactions?’

Liv rolls her eyes. ‘No. That’s unimportant. What matters is the murders, Rashad.’

He giggles. ‘Oh, Nevrakis. You are definitely something.’

She tries to stop the smile from reaching her lips, but she can’t this time. The vodka, the sweet, sweet murderous TV show, the pastries, and Rashad’s comforting presence are making her feel warm inside. She almost presses play, but hesitates. Finally, she says, ‘Thanks for coming tonight. I, um. I thought I needed to be alone, but I appreciate the support.’

He nods, finishing his shot in one gulp. ‘Of course. It’s appalling what they’re doing.’ He puts a hand on his mouth. ‘Sorry kid. I said I wouldn’t talk about it.’ He makes a zipper gesture on his lips.

Liv sits up. ‘No, it’s fine. I started talking about it. You can. I’m an idiot who fucked her bodyguard and sexted with him, please chime in.’

Rashad grabs the vodka and pours a shot for Liv, and one for himself. ‘No, you’re not an idiot. In fact, I think you’re as far away from being an idiot as humanly possible, you know. The blackmailer, that’s an idiot. Or several idiots. Like, outing a person? That’s fucking horrible. That can ruin a life. And then what, broadcasting nude pics of someone else?’

Liv laughs. It’s funny how she never stopped to consider how Ilya felt about his penis being printed and distributed to everyone. She’d have to check in with him later. ‘You’re right. Thankfully for him, he’s well endowed. Otherwise it could have been embarrassing.’

Rashad laughs earnestly. ‘Right? I mean come on, the people responsible for this shit are really backwards. They think being gay is a scandal. They think casual sex with the bodyguard is a scandal. You’re above that, Liv. And if that whole thing prevents you from moving forward in the competition, well you deserve better than this country. Than--’

‘Than Liam?’ she interrupts.

Rashad falls silent for a few seconds. She caught him off guard. ‘That’s not what--you know I meant no disrespect. I know you two have history.’

She nods. ‘You know Amara, right?’

‘Yeah. The American woman, very nice. Spoke to her before brunch.’

‘She agrees with you. She thinks I deserve better. I never stopped to think about it in those terms before she mentioned it. And now you mentioned it.’

‘Again, Liv, I meant no disrespect.’ His words aren’t slurred anymore. Olivia can tell he feels bad, and it sobered him up.

‘No worries. I’m starting to get it.’ She chugs her shot, and gestures for Rashad to pour her another, which he does.

‘Cheers, Nevrakis,’ he says, raising his glass.

‘Cheers.’ She turns off her iPad. She needs something else right now, something to keep her mind off of all the shit that’s happening. She thinks of Little Beaumont and his answer to everything. She shrugs. Maybe he had a point. No harm in trying, right? ‘Hey Rashad, wanna play Never Have I Ever?’

*****

Taglist:

@andy-loves-corgis @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @jovialyouthmusic @alesana45 @mariahschoices @drakesensworld @thequeenofcronuts @notoriouscs @drakewalkerisreal @nikkis1983 @simsvetements @iplaydrake @emceesynonymroll @lily1999love @drakewalkerwhipped @drakewalkerrosenberg @drakeswalkers @drakelover78 @silviasutton1989 @dcbbw @carabeth @furiousherringoperatortoad @hollygirl1269 @sirbeepsalot

Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

#that's not why i'm going #dramara #drake x mc #drake x amara #drake walker x amara suarez #drake walker x mc #drake walker #trr drake #drake trr #drake walker trr #trr fanfic #the royal romance fanfic #choices fanfiction

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

You Asked, I Told

Hello, everyone! I will have another  20k chapter of Baghdad Waltz posting tomorrow, but in the meantime, here are answers to some intriguing Asks you sent me. 

CW for some discussion of sexual assault. Spoilers for BW through Chapter 34.

Oh, thank you so much! I love writing these and other secondary characters and giving them life and a backstory that will probably never, ever see the light of day. I have enough head canon to write whole side fics for both Winnie and Rikki. I love Winnie in particular, though I know she can be a divisive character. Winnie has not been a perfect mother, even though (like pretty much every mother) she has tried her best, which is one reason I really enjoy writing her. I usually see Winnie written in fic as either a straight saint or, less often, a villain, so I wanted to give her some more dimension. I will keep up with these characters as the fic continues!

A COUPLE OF SHARON QUESTIONS:

Wow, good catch! Yes, this was mentioned one time back in Chapter 17, when Sharon first disclosed to Steve that she was pregnant. As with many of the things like this that I throw in the fic, it serves multiple purposes.

First, I included this biographical information because of how common sexual violence is — at least 1 in 6 women will be victims of sexual violence in their lifetime. I wanted to also show that a) it can happen to “tough” women, which we would likely argue Sharon is/was, as an Army Reserve Officer attending the University of Virginia, and b) even though she still blames herself (at least to some degree) for “letting” it happen, she’s still an overall well adjusted person who can have healthy, intimate, functional relationships, a successful career, and good self-esteem. This hasn’t ruined her life, and I think that’s an important counter message to have in a fic that’s so laden with characters who suffer deeply and chronically with their trauma. Trauma doesn’t always end in PTSD - in fact, statistically, it usually doesn’t. This will likely come up again later in the fic in another context as well.

Thank you! I’m so glad you’re enjoying the read! As to whether Steve feels trapped by Sharon re: fatherhood, I imagine the details are a bit fuzzy to remember, because it’s been so long since that part of the fic, but I doubt he feels that way. He knows that Sharon has always been lukewarm about the family stuff while he has been dreaming about kids since he was, well, a kid. He knows that she didn’t intend to get pregnant and only got that way because her birth control failed due to an unintended interaction with St. John’s Wort (an herb with antidepressant properties she took to avoid going to behavioral health while he was deployed). As for deciding to keep the baby after becoming attached to it while she was pregnant, despite her previous lack of interest in being a mother, he likely wouldn’t have hard feelings against her for that.

If anything, I imagine Steve probably blames himself for having sex with her while he was home on leave, having just cheated on her with Bucky and not disclosing his cheating prior to having the sex that led to this kid in the first place. Had he told her as soon as he got home, she surely would have told him to go kick rocks, and there would be no Ethan. But he was scared and irresponsible and they were drunk... and now here they are. 

And although Ethan certainly feels chaotic and stressful for him because kids can feel that way and because he gets overwhelmed easily, he’s wanted to be a father for so long that he likely sees Ethan as a strong motivator for him to recover from PTSD and the effects of TBI. Certainly a much stronger motivator than Bucky, because in his mind, Bucky can fuck off and cheat on him or abandon him a thousand times over, but Ethan will always be his son. And even though he struggles to be the kind of father that he wants to be, Ethan and fatherhood is at least something very tangible for him to work toward.

Great questions! Thank you!

Ah yes, it’s hard to tell what’s going on with their relationship now, because it’s Bucky, who is at times a horribly unreliable narrator. He’s got so much baggage around the Army and not being part of it anymore, and there’s this piece about Sam having the career he wishes he could still have, and Sam having the personal life he could have had with Natasha in some bizarre permutation of reality. And Sam has been deployed, so he’s probably not able to talk much, and Bucky has terrible attachment problems and interprets behavior… not always very realistically. So he might interpret Sam’s distance (logistical, because he’s busy, because they have less to talk about, because they are moving in different directions) as a sign that their friendship was “weird” or that Bucky is “gross” or whatever Bucky is assuming because he’s going through his own shit right now. In short, it’s very possible that Bucky is projecting a lot of his personal stuff onto Sam, like assuming that a pretty normal phase of life transition is actually a sign that he’s being rejected.

But there is a separate issue of Bucky’s friendships getting physical and having these blurred boundaries with friendships. There’s yet-undisclosed stuff in the past that he’s referring to, so unfortunately you can’t see that yet, but he’s drawing on that, and he’s looking at this cuddling behavior (the “snack cake” scene etc.), and I’ll go ahead and say it, since it may never make it into the narrative, but Bucky would definitely have fucked Sam, if he showed even the slightest genuine sexual interest. Bucky has a bad track record with making good friendships in general, and almost all of his close friendships end up getting sexual or para-sexual. Take Steve. They had a pretty intensely physical friendship that got para-sexual and then sexual, and, interestingly, the intimacy that they shared in their friendship also took a nosedive when they really got sexual, but that’s another matter entirely.

So to answer your question, Bucky and Sam didn’t do anything explicitly sexual, but I think Bucky knows he would have, and now that he’s learning about boundaries in DBT, he’s probably wondering about theirs, and he’s looking at these patterns in his life right now, and he’s also just scrambling to figure out why they’re not good friends anymore. I mean, he also really just misses him and the Army, and he’s mourning for both. He’s kind of flailing around here, and that could be another reason why this doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense. But you didn’t miss anything. He’s mostly wrapping himself around the axil over something that may or may not even be a thing. [sigh]

In other words, is Steve a Buckysexual, so to speak? I also am a bisexual person, and I take my bisexual characters pretty seriously (hoo boy). I can see why this might be a big question in people’s minds, because we haven’t seen a very broad swathe of Steve’s sexuality in this fic. He’s very much a monogamist who tends towards longer term relationships, if he can help it (not a guy who does casual fucks well, obvs). We started the fic proper while he was in a relationship with Sharon, then he went to Bucky, and then his sexuality went into hibernation, and now he’s climbing out of that, and we’ve had references to girlfriends in the past peppered along the way.

I’d classify Steve as a late-blooming bisexual. He graduated high school at 16, so he was really coming more fully into his sexuality after he left that environment, and that’s when his interest in Bucky started to fire up. Bucky was the first male he fixated on sexually, which parlayed into a sexual relationship for almost 2 years but then flamed out. Then Steve went into a long sexual hibernation after his mother died and he felt jilted by Bucky’s perceived abandonment, but then he was at the U.S. Military Academy, surrounded by hot young men at their peak fitness and— I will not say more specifically, because this is probably actually going to be addressed in the fic. 

But let it suffice to say that Steve is not a Buckysexual. One could also look at the way he fantasized about Bucky in the coffee house to see some clues to his sexual interest in other men. He wasn’t just into Bucky - he was into all these other guys too, jerking off while watching, all the dicks on the wall.... you know. He has had more relationships with women, so behaviorally he would seem to lean more toward women, but I would not say that women are necessarily his default preference. If Bucky were not in his life and they split to opposite corners of the Earth, never to speak again, I think he would be pretty open about the gender of his parter. As long as they let him put their genitals in his mouth, he’d be a happy camper ;)

And FINALLY: 

Ah yes, I believe you’re referring to the line “Bucky is still an alcoholic, ‘interpersonally unskilled,’ deeply imprinted from God knows what traumas, and really, who knows how willing to actually change, if change means being honest and shining light in the dark places he’s always kept Steve from, no matter how much he’s begged to see them.” Yes? 

So, prior to them separating in 2002, I would say that Bucky and Steve’s dynamic probably went a lot like this:  

Bucky was pretty contained on the outside most of the time, with periods where the he was a flaming dumpster fire just beneath the surface and brief episodes where he was dysregulated and really struggling obviously. The latter looked like, say, showing up drunk to Steve’s and saying cryptic things like “I’m disgusting” and sticking his hand up Steve’s shirt… or his post-Ground-Zero “fuck me/I’m totally fucking falling apart drunk” thing, etc.  And Steve, after these episodes, was probably like, “You know you can talk to me, right? Please. I just want to help.” And Bucky most assuredly responded with something like, “I’m good thx.”

I think Steve probably suspected for years that Bucky has stuff from his childhood (he would be absolutely dense not to), but I want to say that he probably both wants to know it and is terrified to know it. So his “begging” probably looks like gently imploring in a not too insistent way whenever Bucky does one of these big meltdown-y things. And then when they argue, Steve probably whips out the old, “You keep everything from me! I don’t know who you are! I have to beg you to tell me anything!” because that’s how these things usually go down. And Bucky would never volunteer anything and most assuredly lies about many things overtly and lies by omission alllll the time. So yeah, I would say that this a not-so-reliable-narrator situation but with a strong flavor of truth behind it. If that makes any sense at all. 

Thank you so much for the wonderful questions!! What a joy to receive them. More tomorrow. 

#YOU ASKED I TOLD #asks #baghdad waltz

[mforpaul]

Hello! I love your stories 😍 A prompt for you, if it inspires you ☺️ Something with Rafael head over heels for Sonny, accidentally letting his feelings slip here and there but too scared to actually make a move.

Thank you for your request, I hope you like it!

I.

Detective Carisi puts his palms on the table and lowered his deep voiceto a whisper so that his next words are nearly not hearable. The perpetrator infront of him as well as Liv and Barba behind the glass have to lean forward tohear him. Bastard, he stole that move from Barba. But Barba cannot help hissmile. Yes, Carisi could just as well stroke Barba’s ego. For that matter, Barbagets a great view of Carisi’s ass that is so well-fitted in these surprisinglynice suits. Yes, Rafael had also noticed that his hair style as well as hissuits had started to get much better since Carisi had shadowed him. Rafaelsighs and reminds himself to actually listen. There is an interrogation goingon here after all. Carisi had spent the first ten minutes of it to talk aboutbaseball. His dimples had just wrinkled in the right way to make Rafael’s heartjump and the perp to believe he could trust the detective. Sometimes, Barbawonders if the perps are this monumentally stupid or if Carisi is this smart. Carisishifts his weight. Ass still on display. Oh god, this gorgeous ass, Rafaelthinks just in the moment that the perp begins to fold. Carisi draws his longfingers through his gold and silver hair. The perp still thinks he can trustCarisi while the detective asks the a few pointed questions and gets a fullconfession. It is impressive. Carisi turns around and sends a victorious smirkthrough the glass window. Only one corner of his beautiful mouth lifts, but heis obviously pleased with himself. Carisi with arrogance, just when Rafaelthought he couldn’t possibly get any sexier.

Damn it!

Not that he is ever going to let his fantasies go any further, butRafael firmly reminds himself that this would be a bad idea. A very bad one!They work together, for Christ’s sake. All fantasies about cops andinterrogation rooms aside, any drama at the workplace would backfire into theirrelationship and any drama in their relationship would fire back into theirworkplace. Not to mention that they would put every case in hazard. Also, asidefrom the fact that they would put their non-heterosexual orientation out topublic display, about which he would not be allowed to complain as the world shouldbe fine with two men dating, only that the world is not and dealing with thisjust sucks. Aside from that what would it look like if he dated a younger,eye-candy of a detective? Moreover, what would it look like for Sonny’s youngcareer to date an older colleague?

Carisi closes the door behind him. His smile now even more triumphant. “Goodjob, Carisi”, Liv says. “I will spread the news to the vic.” And she was gone.

“Do you have enough for a conviction, counsellor?”, Carisi asks.

“Even you could prosecute this case.” While Rafael had actually meant tomake a compliment, he sees hurt in Carisi’s eyes. These bright, blue eyes.

Rafael pads Carisi’s arm. “I am really lucky to be able to exploit yourgrand interrogation skills to the fullest”, he says. “I have more than enoughto get a conviction.” Wait, is his hand on Carisi’s arm? Rafael feels thebiceps through the fabric of Carisi’s shirt. Carisi does not look as awkward asRafael feels, he smiles at him.

Damn it!

II.

Carisi stands too close to him, way to close. He had stepped into Rafael’sspace and Rafael hadn’t moved away, neither politely nor annoyed. Rafael juststands there and his gaze follows along a long arm to Carisi’s index fingerpointing at crime scene photos. He smells Carisi’s scent. He doesn’t like hiscologne, it’s too soft for him. He also doesn’t like the smell of hair product.But more than that, he smells salty skin, a mixture of sweat and enthusiasm. Hecan also feel Carisi’s heat. “I don’t know, counsellor. You shouldn’t insist onher testifying. She doesn’t cope well with everyone knowing. I am worried abouther.” In his whole life combined, Rafael has not showed as much kindness asCarisi shows to every single victim. Carisi turns his head to him so that theireyes meet. He is so close. Carisi and his big, stupid heart. This combinationhits a soft spot in Rafael.

Damn it!

Detective Dominick Carisi Jr., call me Sonny, is not even gay. Rafaelhas met enough men in his life to detect which of them are into men and whichare not. And Sonny Carisi is more part of the latter group. Best case, he isbisexual, worst case he is just “curious”. Rafael does not want to be the objectof experimentation or be just a “phase” in Carisi’s life. This would leadnowhere. And Rafael likes him too much for this.

“You say, it is better for the victim to not prosecute her tormentor?”,Rafael asks. He had locked eyes with the detective.

“We have a duty to find justice. There is no justice if she gets destroyedin court. The important thing is that she gets heard, and I mean, we can giveher voice during trial without making her speak on the stand”, Carisi replieswith a low voice. Rafael smiles. It’s very considerate of him and aninteresting view on the justice system.

“I like your confidence in reinterpreting the purpose of a juridicaltrial”, Rafael’s words lack any sarcasm. Wait, did he just openly complimentCarisi’s wit? Like a sap? While Rafael fights back a flush, Carisi, again,smiles.

Damn it!

III.

Carisi puts a cup of coffee on Rafael’s desk. When Rafael looks up, hewalks straight into the trap that is the detective’s blue eyes. “I heard youonly had like ten coffees today”, Carisi’s perfectly formed lips formed aperfectly warm smile. Instead of an answer, Rafael grabs the coffee and leansback. This single movement does the trick and Carisi walks around the desk tosit on it. Rafael always feels a weird kind of intimacy when Carisi sits on hisdesk. He loves and loathes it at the same time. He takes a sip of his coffee. Itis his favorite roast, strong and spicy. No milk, no sugar. And a tall size.There is no way that this perfect coffee is a coincidence. Rafael felt a warmfeeling in his stomach. He doesn’t know if it makes him feel sick or lightheaded.

But Rafael cannot follow up on these feelings. Even against all odds,all they would have together would be a few months of love. And probably mindblowing sex. As eager as Carisi is in getting Rafael’s approval at work, he cannoteven imagine him in bed! But there was not much more to it. Carisi is someonewho should have started a family years ago, while Rafael is someone who hadactively decided against starting a family years ago. They hadn’t found eachother young and now they were no in places in their respective lives to findone together.

Carisi had been babbling on about something while Rafael had been lost inthoughts. Rafael tastes the perfect coffee on his mouth. Carisi leans forwardand Rafael’s eyes slip to the detective’s mouth. Rafael smiles. He bites hislips and searches for Carisi’s eyes again. There is no way that the detectiveshas not noticed this.

They work together. He is not gay. And they do not have a futuretogether. Rafael repeats these sentences over and over in his head until Sonnyis done talking. It’s for his own good. Because he has a feeling that SonnyCarisi might be the one, the one he couldn’t get over.

“Look, counselor”, Carisi’s voice had changed. It shakes, as if Carisi isnervous. It startles Rafael. “I don’t want to overstep, but…”, Carisi starts.Rafael tilts his head. “I mean, it’s late and you just had coffee, so you won’tgo to bed soon… So if you don’t mind, I would like to ask you… out… for a drinkor two.” Carisi’s face burns red and his eyes wander everywhere but to Rafael’seyes.

Rafael smiles.

#barisi #barisi prompt #barba x carisi #barba x reader #rafael barba #sonny carisi #law and order svu #svu prompt #svu fanfiction #svu #raul esparza #peter scanavino #barbaesparza #mforpaul

[anxietypidgeon]

Love, Simon. Before, After, and During the Special Screening

Yes I am aware that I saw it like literally before most of the country(ies) but this would never freaking post so here we go.

WARNING WILL HAVE SPOILERS, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK Also, I will be leaving some points out because I don't wanna spoil EVERYTHING. Before the Movie

Even before 6:30, there was a long ass line to get into the theater.

Someone had decided to walk around the block as they were waiting to go into the theater (you couldn't enter the theater until 6:00) and everyone else just joined in My mom complained about the exercise.

I met two other people and they were hilarious.

When it was finally time to go into the theater, people in the back of the line started screaming and RAN to the entrance. It was chaos.

The esculator up there was crowded and packed, I have never seen so many people that excited.

Okay, they had two theaters showing the movie at the same time.

I honestly thought that I wasn't going to be able to see the movie, because they overbooked both theaters and I'm sure some people had to go home.

When we got into the theater, I was able to get like the second to the top of the theater seats. Those are some of the best seats in the house.

I MET BECKY AND SHE WAS SO NICE AND I WAS SHAKING WHEN I MET HER.

It was like seriously batshit crazy

The woman said that the actors were going to come into the theater that made the loudest noise first.

SOMEONE MADE A SIGN THAT WAS ASKING NICK TO PROM.

The woman said "And of course Nick is here!" AND THE WHOLE THEATER EVEN ME STARTED FREAKING OUT.

OH OH SO THE ACTORS WENT DOWN THE FAR LEFT SIDE THAT I WAS ON AND THERE WAS LIKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT THING THAT SAID "People on the left side of the theater, please do not stand."

NICK WALKED RIGHT PAST ME AND HE SMILED AT ME

They talked about the movie before it was started and as the actors turned to leave to go into the next theater, I yelled out "WE LOVE YOU NICK!" AND HE YELLED BACK "I LOVE YOU TOO!" AND OH MY GOD BEST DAY EVER.

OH OH ALEXANDRA'S MIC MESSED UP AS SHE WAS TALKING AND SHE SCREAMED "NO!" IN A HIGH PITCH CHILD'S VOICE AND IT WAS SO CUTE.

During the Movie

oh my fucking god this is going to be amazing.

*20th Centery Fox logo plays. Everyone flips the fuck out*

Simon came onto the screen and everyone was so silent.

Martin is introduced in the first few minutes, and he starts talking to Abby. She gets really uncomfortable

NICK IS SO FUCKIN HOT

Martin, no honey please, don't be an asshole

"They were literally dry humping each other under the table."

Simon's email changed...

Honestly, I loved Leah.

Nora was so freaking adorable.

"DEAR, BLUE I'M JUST LIKE YOU" WHEN THAT EMAIL STARTED EVERYONE (INCLUDING ME) STARTED SCREAMING

THE PRINCIPAL HAS TO BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS.

• After the principal took Simon's phone, Simon tried to take it back and it was hilarious

That Cabert practice, half the time I was excited but then I knew that after that scene everything would turn to shit

• Martin, your an asshole, stop.

• Wait, I think I know the actor from somewhere.

• THAT HALLOWEEN PARTY AT BRAM'S HOUSE WAS AMAZINGLY PUT ON

"Post Presidency Barack Obama."

• Simon, Bram, Abby, and Martin played this drinking game and I forgot what it was called, but Simon and Bram got hella drunk.

• Simon and Bram sung karaoke together it was adorable.

• Simon then sung by himself it was cute

• Simon, drunk in the bathroom: "Bram, it's me, Jacques."

• SIMON WAS FUCKING HAMMERED

• Martin spit up on Simon's John Lennon coustume.

I loved the part when Simon got home drunk and his parents were just like "He didn't drive drunk and he's home before curfew. We're good parents."

So that scene where all of Simon's friends came out as heterosexual? It was a fantasy, it didn't actually happen XD

They did like this fantasy thing where Simon was in college and they were singing and dancing (fuck I cannot remember the song) and when everything stops, Simon looks into the camera and he says "Okay, maybe not that gay."

Cut to play practice, Martin gets a "paper cut"

Have I mentioned that Martin is an asshole? Yes? Well to bad he is.

Cut to Waffle House and Simon, Martin, and Abby were practicing lines but then Martin starts asking Abby about her personal life.

"If you don't say it I won't stop."

"Oh my god Martin no."

"ATTENTION PEOPLE OF WAFFLE HOUSE! I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT MY FRIEND ABBY SUSO DESERVES A... "" DESERVES A GODDAMNED SUPERHERO!" "YEAH A GODDAMNED SUPERHERO!"

Simon, honey, Lyle isn't Blue.

Oooooooohhhhhhhh jealous Nick.

Cue football game.

Simon just starts getting like really really pissed at Martin and just like demands that he asks Abby out.

"Oh say can you see by the donzerly lights..." *Martin comes over and wrestles the woman for the mic*

"I'm sorry but what I'm about to say is way more important than the national anthome, I'm sorry America." When Martin said that, the whole theater just gasped oh my god XD

Martin does his speech thing, Abby rejects him.

Martin gets pissed and oh hey, he posts the emails.

BLUE LIKE OH MY GOD SIMON JUST I CANNOT JUST LIKE UM AHHHHH

Oh oh I think I should mention that there's a character called Ethan who's gay and dresses like a girl and he is amazing and a badass.

ONCE THE EMAILS WERE POSTED, NORA WAS JUST SO CONCERNED AND SHE CAME INTO SIMONS ROOM AND I'M JUST LIKE SHE WAS CRYING AND I WANTED TO HUG HER?????

Simon finally came out to his parents on Christmas.

Oh I should mention that Simon sorta lost his friends??

Leah is in love with Simon.

Oh, I should also mention that according to Becky, Leah is bisexual.

After Christmas when they got back to school, the principal was so supportive. HE HAS A GAY PRIDE FLAG ON HIS SUIT AND I NOTICED IT AND I STARTED FREAKING THE FUCK OUT

"Did you only date me because I looked like a guy?"

"No, I broke up with you because you didn't."

There are these two bullies (I refuse to type their names) and they were just bullying Simon and Ethan and like oh my god.

HI, YES, POLICE I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT A MURDER.

Mrs. Albright, your doing amazing sweetie.

Ethan: You know you could've talked to me right?"

The principal oh my fucking god, I wish my principal was that accepting.

Simon eventually goes onto Tumblr and writes a post, saying that everything about him was true and he asked Blue to meet him on the Ferris wheel.

Simons last ticket on the Ferris wheel Martin runs up screaming "WAIT! IT'S ME I'M BLUE!" and the whole theater lost their shit and started laughing.

"No your not.' " Yah, I'm not. But here how much is a ticket? Last ride is on me."

BLUE A.K.A BRAM FINALLY SHOWS UP AND THE WHOLE THEATER STARTED SCREAMING

AT THE TOP OF THE FERRIS WHEEL SIMON AND BRAM KISSED AND OH MY GOD, EVERYONE STARTED SCREAMING AND CLAPPING AND OH MY GOD

End of the movie, Simon picks up Nick, then Leah, then Abby. They go to the coffee shop and order five coffees. Cue the screaming.

SIMON PICKS UP BRAM FROM HIS HOUSE AND THEY KISS AND OH MY GOD

At the end of the movie, everyone just started clapping and yelling.

After the Movie

A lady came in and said "Scream if you knew it was Bram all along." EVERYONE STARTED SCREAMING

I should also mention that the mics were messing up.

I wasn't really able to stay for the q&a so I wasn't able to meet Nick :(

But overall, the movie was so fucking amazing 12/10 I would defiantly recommend it, and I would definitely go see it again if I'm ever able to.

I have to say though, if your parents hate bad language, don't see this movie with them. My mom saw it with me and she criticized it for the bad language and she kept saying that it just kept shoving the fact that she should just accept gay people into her face so she wasn't very happy. I didn't talk to her for an hour after that until she apologized. Anyways, that's all for now, unless I may write some fan fiction on it. Would you guys like to see it?

Also, no I didnt go threw every point and fact of the movie because I didn't wanna spoil it. Thank you!~Alex

#love simon #simon spier #abby suso #nick robinson #nick eisner #leah burke #atlanta #simon vs the homosapians agenda

[tinkdw]

12x22: Dean Winchester is going to die

Well, when I was new, I wrote a whole post about this, about how early episodes but especially 12x11 foreshadowed that Performing!Dean was going to be deconstructed by the end of the season... Fans self.

The death of Performing!Dean in this episode was BEAUTIFUL. It was EXQUISITE. I couldn't have asked for MORE! 

I literally grabbed and punched @amwritingmeta in the leg I don't know how many times as I paused it to point and shout.

1. The Grenade Launcher

So, the grenade launcher = performing!Dean metaphor. We had hoped and boy did they deliver! Did anyone else notice, while Dean was *ahem* knocking down the seemingly unpenetrable physical walls, that, maybe it was my weird link, but it seemed to me that the flashing ‘red’ lights in the MoL bunker were decidedly pinky-purpley in colour rather than standard alarm bells red and the flashlights glowed on the blue side of white... (the MoL HQ lights are also brightly pinky-purple to keep the theme going, I mean honestly what self respecting 1950s MoL guy chose this for the bunker instead of the usual red? Please!) Just saying. 

“It wasn't long ago I thought we had it made. We had Cas back, we had mom back. I mean it wasn't perfect but still...”.  This is it. Dean’s facade has been coming down all season, but at this point now, he just doesn’t see the point in holding it up anymore.

And what does Sam do? HE OPENS UP TO DEAN. He tells Dean how he feels, the reasons why he followed the MoL - that it was “easier than leading”, that he made a mistake. This enables Dean to be truthful himself, in the end, now. Again, they have had many times to reflect on their own deaths but this is another time similar to 11x23 where he can really reflect on what he has lost, and now what is that? Cas and Mary.

Dean uses the grenade launcher, that he’s been dying to do since forever, blows down the impenetrable seeming wall, saves the day. How meta do we need to go? It’s BLATANT. The choice in the colour of the lights, the dialogue, his feelings... the walls are Dean’s facade and the grenade launcher is his way of breaking it down. YES. This has been building all season and much prior to this other meta writers have said that he grenade launcher is associated with Dean’s hidden side, his bisexuality, Destiel etc... this is meta gold, THIS is a meta aspect Dabb was talking about. Toni even then parallels the tearing down of Mary’s mental wall with Dean’s physical use of the grenade launcher, just moments after. It is so well put together :D

Also, I have long believed that the bunker had to go. It represents too much the MoL side of things and the whole ‘living below ground’ thing is way too underground / metaphorically bad. For me they need a real, healthy home which is in between Bobby’s hunter house and the MoL bunker. Hopefully they will find a nice modern MoL home with kit but that isn't so hidden above ground somewhere next season to take over and make their own :D

2. Sam the MoL leader

“Real hunting isn’t just about killing, it’s about doing whats right... I want you to follow me”. We have wanted this for Sam all season, the MoL story fits his personal arc so well (so did Eileen, still bitter), this is Sam’s endgame. Sam said just moments earlier that he didn’t want to lead, but now he is, because it is necessary and because he is good at it. I believe he will now see that this is what he wants and will work towards this for his endgame.

This then leads to...

3. Dean and Sam - ending the brodependency and Dean as Sam’s parent

Dean lets Sam go, the dialogue is amazing. “You’re ready for this... you got this” paralleled with an actual mom/daughter conversation between Jody and Alex. 

Dean literally talks to Sam like a parent letting their child go off to college and I had to pause this for a long long moment to process and scream “they’re actually going there!” not even knowing what was coming next... man...

Then comes the Mary / Dean scene.

4. Dean and Mary

This was always going to be what Mary led to for Dean’s arc. After Amara had started this addressing of Dean’s facade in season 11 and Mary is basically an extension of Amara this season re: Dean (in the same way that she still has to influence Sam’s arc re: Lucifer, that is for next season). I LOVED how BLATANT and textual they made this, the actual lack of subtext because it was all in the ACTUAL TEXT! 

Firstly, Dean considers letting Toni go, which I had expected, to show the difference between our boys (morality) and the MoL as monsters.

Then... “Dad was just a shell...I had to be a father and a mother to keep him safe, and that wasnt fair, and I couldnt do it, and you wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved, he got possessed by Lucifer, they tortured him in hell and he lost his soul...But I forgive you, for everything.” MY HEART!

Ok, yeah, they did the thing, they brought Jess up 30 mins before killing the guy that Dean loves after not mentioning her for.... A DECADE? And paralleling one of the few scenes we ever saw her in with Dean/Cas too? After we already had the parallel with Dean seeing Cas when driving along, same as Sam did? So, only the scene of Sam and Jess in the bar and the scene where Dean actually meets her haven't been paralleled now with Dean/Cas? I’M LIVING!

But seriously. The rest is exactly what we, the audience needed to understand Dean and to show casual viewers Dean’s inner angst in order to understand the facade coming down, this is exactly what Dean needed. He has come full circle, this is the start of the culmination of the end of Performing!Dean (which Jensen has no said at Jibcon will be furthered in season 13!).

Dean actually TELLS Mary in his mind that he hates her, but that he loves her. That he had to be Sam’s mother and father, and that it wasn't FAIR. This is so important, that he didnt just say that it happend and that it sucked, but that it wasn't FAIR and that he did not DESERVE IT.

This is Dean addressing not just his mother but how HE feels about it, how he feels about HIMSELF, that he is saying that he DESERVES MORE and has SELF WORTH. 

These are all the words I have been using since 12x01 re: Dean . I’m so happy!

5. Ketch kills Toni, Mary kills Ketch after Dean beats him to a pulp, PERFECT, Jody kills Hess, again perfect.

This had to happen to keep our boys on the ‘don't kill humans unless they HAVE to’ side, especially after Dean considered letting Toni go. Thank you.

6. Winchester family reunion 

Sam’s forgiveness of Mary, Dean’s reaction to the happy family hug (it’s great but someone is missing...). “Who we are... we kick ass. We save the world” 

SAM AND DEAN ARE ACCEPTING THEMSELVES THIS SEASON. In 12x09 Sam said it, now Dean says it. After all the angst this episode and for Dean all season...

This whole episode was for me the culmination of the deconstruction of Performing!Dean this season, which has been the main theme carried through on the character - driven side of things, it was beautiful.

In many ways I view this as the character - led season finale and 12x23 as the plot - led season finale (which I will post my thoughts on right up next).

I cannot WAIT to see the result of this episode come across next season. 

We have not only now Performing!Dean pretty much dead or on his way out, the Dean Winchester is going to die metaphor was fully used and was fantastic, but coupled with Cas being brutally taken away from Dean, the parallels with 2 key canon romantic couples (Sam/Jess and Cain/Colette) in this within SECONDS of each other, plus the Jibcon revelations that we will see more of Dean’s reaction to this in season 13, apparently crying (and Jared not even hiding Destiel jokes now) make me pretty much 100% convinced Destiel is really endgame now.

Aside from this we now have Dean accepting himself, his internal self acceptance arc coming to a close, Sam’s MoL arc coming up and I will touch on the other aspects of the story for Sam in the next post as they are relevant to Lucifer / Jack, and Cas’s arc too...

Season 13 is already set up for exactly the endgame I am wishing for!

Tink’s Endgame Wishlist :

- Mol! Sam (and Eileen, Chuck I’m still bitter about that though, I really hoped her death would turn out to be a misdirection). Pretty much CHECK.

- Hunter / Mol collaboration with Sam and Dean as leaders. Pretty much CHECK.

- End of the brodependency, Dean acknowledging he was Sam’s parent and letting him go. CHECK.

- End of Performing!Dean. Pretty much CHECK.

- Human!Cas and self worth and belonging for his arc. TBA probably next season, what happened this season makes no sense if not to lead to this.

- Destiel. Pretty much CHECK. (And now after seeing Jibcon and the boys just joking about it all the time? Yeah, I don't think they have an issue with this!).

- ALL THE RAINBOWS

#spn 12x22 #performing!dean #mary winchester #destiel #dean is bi #bi!dean #bunker #tinks meta #spn 12x22 meta

[willowelijah]

Like Two Drops of Water: Ch 3

A spideychelle fanfic.

Summary: Michelle and Peter are just best friends. When Michelle gets asked to the homecoming dance, Peter gets jealous. When she falls for Spider-Man, Peter gets jealous (of himself). Suddenly it seems maybe they weren’t “just best friends”, after all.

Read on fanfiction.net

On tumblr: (Ch 1) (Ch 2) (Ch 4) (Ch 5)

A/N: Someone wondered if Michelle is bisexual in this fic. My answer is: yes I think so, either that or pan, but I'm leaving it open.

Thanks for the reviews!

---

Chapter 3

I was sitting on the uncomfortable tiles of Liz's rooftop, still in the Spidey-suit, still contemplating if I should head home or not, when I heard someone slide the front door open. I waited for them to cross the rooftop border where I could see them, thinking it was a drunken, upset teen who was coming out here to get away from some extraneous drama. But when they crossed the border, I could see clearly that it was Michelle. Her head was leaned down, looking at her phone. To my surprise, she didn't stop walking when she got past the property line. Instead she turned and headed down the street.

She's leaving? Already? All by herself?

So many questions ran through my head that I decided, despite my better judgment, to try and get them answered. I stood up and ran along the tiles, hoping no one would hear me from the inside and forgetting that there was in fact loud music playing. I jumped into a tree beside the house before M.J. would fade too far from my sight.

I had never interacted with M.J. as Spider-Man besides tonight, and I felt kind of nervous about it. I was a curious person by nature however, and I needed to get my questions answered. I needed to know if she had been upset by the trouble with Flash, or if something else was bothering her. If there was one thing that was different when I was Spider-Man compared to Peter Parker, besides the high tech gadgets and general confidence that came with the suit, it was how people found it easier to confide in the mask, rather than the face. I don't know if it was inherently easier to talk to a concealed man with no personal identity of his own, or if it was just my face that was the problem. Either way, I can't tell you how many people had shared more than I had initially wanted to take share in, in the aftermath of a returned bike or a near death. Come to think of it, maybe trust between strangers was a direct result of a favor done in altruism.

But like I said, curious person by nature, friend walking alone in the dark — what was I supposed to do?

I wondered if she would like Spidey. I wondered things that I didn't normally find myself wondering. Like: would she be impressed by my abilities? The little men on the inside my stomach began to jump at that. I was entering unexplored territory, territory which I had debated the entrance of in the past. Michelle had never been part of Spider-Man. Ned had on weekly occasions, but never M.J.

Not thinking, I ran the last bit toward her, took a shot of my web at the lamppost above her and swung around it to land in front of her.

"Hey." I said confidently with a wave.

She looked at me in shock. Shock, which would have been more apparent I think had the rest of her features not been so gloomy. Surprisingly, although not all that surprising if I was to consider whom I was talking about, she seemed unfazed. She took a last look at her phone before sliding it into her pocket and giving me her full attention.

"What are you up to?" She asked it in a way that implied it wasn't one of those, "What's up with you? I am interested in how you're doing." and more, "Why are you lurking around a dimly lit street in the middle of the night?"

I needed to ease the mood, remind her of the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man she had no-doubt seen on TV, saving kitties from trees. "To tell you the truth, I am here for one reason only, and that is finding out what you are up to." I said while pointing at her.

She looked at me, only barely amused. "I am on my way home." She said, and set her walking in motion. She went past me, showing no indication of expecting me to follow along. But I did, out of seeing no other option in the comforts of my deluded mind.

"Hey! Hey! Wait for me—" I paused to think of what was acceptable for me to call her in this universe where I supposedly didn't know her name. "…Girl." I settled on. I caught up with her. "I just want to make sure you're alright." She seized me through her fringe, walking with her arms tucked in amongst themselves. I bit my lip under my mask, unsure of how to word something out without it being too wordy, yet still using eloquent words nonetheless. "It couldn't have been fun... what Flash did to you." I tried to communicate remorse, but it was entirely pointless through the mask, my voice had to take that whole burden on it's sole back.

M.J. didn't look all that rattled though. In this moment, she looked calm and collected. "That guy had serious anger issues." She said, taking a moment to stare at the sky. New York didn't usually get stars; all the city lights that projected onto the soft heaven took them away. The suburbs weren't much better, but they had some. "It was scary in the moment, but it doesn't really bother me all that much now." She paused, looking nowhere but up. "The only reason I even got in that situation in the first place, was that Flash said some very-much-aggravating things about my friend. Being the person that I am, I defended my friend." She said reproachfully. I began to take notice of some underlying irritation. "Like friends do." He voice was passive aggressive. "But my friend, being the person that he is, was nowhere to be found and hence, didn't defend me back."

A pit formed in my stomach, full of the world's most devious creatures, stabbing and biting and poisoning me from the inside. I was there. I was there. I was there the whole time. = My first thought.

My second thought was that I should have been there. Peter should have been there.

My third thought was how unfair it was for her to say that, because how could Peter possibly have known what was going on? He hadn't even been in the room. But then I had to stop myself and look at the facts: he had known. He had seen the whole scene from outside. Had I not been sitting out in a tree, debating whether or not I should use my famous alter ego to get a bully to shut up—in reality probably instead finding something else to taunt me with—when I could have been inside, dancing with my friends and not have them fight my battles for me, then none of this would have happened.

"What did Peter tell you?" She asked. It took me a while to understand that she was referring to the promised phone call. Predictably, I was tongue-tied, eyes wide and overall dumbfound entered my demeanor. Michelle, catching on quickly as she often did, sighed and rolled her eyes. "Can you at least tell me why he presumably left? I looked everywhere for him."

She had looked everywhere for me.

"He needed to be somewhere. It was important." I stressed the last part as much as I could, but figured it would never be enough. People needed clear claims. Something concrete they could see with their own eyes or comprehend with their own mind if they were going to truly be persuaded of said importance.

She laughed without delight, discerned without compassion and talked without grace. She said, "Funny how Spider-Man has time to come to a party but oh-so-busy Peter Parker has 'somewhere important' to be." She shook her head. "I don't know." She whispered to herself in more mellow tones than previous one's, suddenly vulnerable.

"Why didn't you stay? Maybe Peter would have come back."

"'Doesn't sound like him." She said bitterly, unknowingly stinging me once again. "Besides: stay and do what? Ned took over the booth after Flash got webbed. They're my only friends, and without Peter it's not…" She gave up on finishing the sentence altogether.

She didn't seem to have liked being at party without me, I realized. It's not so much that I was feeling a specific feeling strongly; it's more that I was feeling so much all at once that I thought I might burst. But I stopped myself, not allowing myself to feel all of that. I didn't deserve it.

"Anywho. You should sling your web elsewhere, I'm going to walk home." She gave me a melancholy smile, expecting me to leave her. "See you around."

"What?!" All casualties were dropped and I was stunned. I thought for sure that she was eventually going to drop walking on this suburban street and head back to Liz's to try and catch some form of ride home. For sure I thought this. "You're going to walk home? Alone? You do realize where we are right? You do realize that our current whereabouts are not near the inner city, right?" I was quite worked up.

"Alright, calm down geography sheriff. No need to patronize me, Spider-guy." She held up a defensive façade, but I could tell that she was enjoying the banter, M.J. always did. I smiled behind the mask. "What's the worst thing that could happen?" She said in her most reasonable voice, apparently under the delusion that it was a reasonable argument to be made and I was once again provoked beyond any sense of control.

"You sure are asking the right guy. From what I've seen of this city, your question should be phrased, 'what's the least bad thing that could happen?'" I said confidently. "And the answer to that is: I go with you."

At first, Michelle didn't seem all that opposed to the idea. We had after all already walked a fair bit. But I began to notice something seething inside her. She was like simmering water, about to boil. "I shouldn't have to be accompanied by a guard just because I want to walk home at night!" She fumed.

"I know!" I said, a little too loudly. "I know that you shouldn't and it sucks that we live in that world, but we do, and you can't just ignore that and not take precautions. You have to adapt."

"Adapt?!" Michelle spat. Her anger was flaring. "I shouldn't have to adapt to a sexist world, the world should adapt to me! And I'm walking home." I knew that she was angry at the situation and not me, but I felt attacked, first Peter and now Spider-Man and I began to feel a physical fatigue, putting a weight on my eyebrows and making them hang low.

The thing with M.J. was she cared so much about all the unfair horrors of the world that sometimes it all became too much and she decided not to even recognize the hardships that faced her. But never for very long, she wouldn't be M.J. without her advocacy for social justice.

"And I'd very much like to go with you if you'll let me." I proposed sincerely.

After some long and hard consideration she nodded and looked at me with quizzical eyes. "Why do you do these things?" She asked.

"It's my responsibility." I said simply. The words ran off my tongue smoothly as I had become so accustomed to them over my timeline as Spider-Man.

"It's really not." She insisted, like she knew better. "Don't get me wrong, it's not bad what you're doing. I just don't see how it's not 'your responsibility' to make sure I get home safe."

"Superhuman strength, agility, resistance and senses, the power to climb walls and shoot spider web and stick an asshole to a dance floor. I have the power to help people in need. Don't you think that it is then my moral obligation to do just that?" I paused to see if she would retort, when she kept walking in silence I kept talking. "Just like you have the ability to speak, which is why you speak up about important societal issues. You do it simply because you can and you know that it's the right thing to do." I finished, quite happy with having managed to put words to feelings.

M.J. looked at me and then back at her shoes, she was smiling and shaking her head. "It's our responsibilities." She agreed.

*

The next day when I entered the school's cafeteria, M.J. sat talking mostly to Liz. They had disregarded their trays of food and a few unknown people had gathered around them, half sitting and half standing.

I slowly walked toward them. My plan was to be the bestest friend to M.J. that I possibly could be. I was going to be kind and present and funny and present and just generally a good friend who cared about her. And present. She'd forget about yesterday in no time.

During the party yesterday, M.J. hadn't seemed the least interested in Liz, but today they looked like they were closer than atoms. In fact, the group seemed to be gossiping, heads were leaned in with wide eyes and goofy smiles. Everyone around them seemed highly interested. My brows furrowed as I tried to get my head around the idea of M.J. engaging in gossip.

"What did he say?" Someone around her was asking while I came up behind the gathering of people, unsure of where to sit down.

"He said that it was 'his responsibility'." M.J. answered with a roll of her eyes and I stopped right in the motion of placing my tray on the table. Michelle seemed to be talking about having met Spider-Man yesterday… and she was rolling her eyes? Despite her rolling eyes, I still felt a little lurch of excitement that she was talking to people about having met me.

…Why was she rolling her eyes, though?

I decided to fully set my tray on the table and try to cramp my body into a tight spot between two students I had never spoken to before.

"Hi Peter!" Said M.J. and Liz and a couple of others who knew my name. Liz smiled politely before turning back to M.J. to keep drilling her. Thankfully Liz didn't seem to still be thinking about the interaction we had had yesterday. M.J. had an odd look in her eyes though, one I tried to ignore. I was going to be present and she was going to forget about yesterday. Everything was fine.

Liz was leaning her head on her hand and began asking, "Did he reveal—" before she was interrupted my M.J. herself, who was pointing her nose in my direction.

"Why did you leave?" She confronted me.

I looked down at my food, until I decided that I was not going to look at my food. I was going to look her in the eyes. "I fell ill." I was not going to speak confidently however, that ship had already sailed.

"Why didn't you say anything? Or answer any of my calls?" Michelle threw at me, she wasn't exactly angry, she looked more on the disappointed side, and confused if anything. It wasn't a thing I usually did, not reply when she texted me. It was usually my top priority if history was of any indication.

"Really ill." I added, practically seeing my guilt reflected in her eyes. I had put it off, answering those texts. I didn't like lying, not unless I absolutely had to. It could be construed as me being hypocritical, was one wearing the right glasses. I was, after all, sitting on one pretty big secret. "But I heard Spidey was there." I announced to the group. They had been looking all uncomfortable and it made me ten times more uncomfortable. At the mention of the scene that had took place yesterday they sat up straighter, with more optimism. Michelle however leaned back in her chair, further than most people usually lean back in their chairs; she always had been an overachiever. She didn't seem all that interested in talking about yesterday and I slowly came to realize that M.J. hadn't in fact engaged in gossip, gossip had engaged in her.

"Michelle met Spider-Man yesterday." An odd looking egg among the audience told me with a suggestive smile. It stirred a bad feeling in my stomach, that suggestive smile. Michelle wouldn't like Spider-Man in that way, I told myself. He's too "save baby from a burning building"–esque. Right? She wouldn't go crushing on him, would she? Because that would kill me in all kinds of ways.

"You all did, right?" I asked, feigning ignorance. "When I called he told me that he would show up."

"We did …and afterward he sort of followed me home." M.J. said shyly with a faint smile. A smile.

I looked wide eyed at M.J. hoping she would show me some indication that she was not into the masked hero, that she'd much rather spend her time with a not-so save-the-world type guy.

"I hope you'll still be my date to prom." Liz joked.

"It was so cool when I saw him climbing along the ceiling! And when he shot his web directly at Flash! That was amazing!" Someone rambled.

Michelle tried to push back a smile. "It was pretty great what he did."

"He's not that great." I contorted, leaving everyone stumped. What the fuck, Peter? I thought. This had now become so convoluted that I was arguing that I'm "not that great".

"Isn't he your friend?" The odd egg from before asked.

The words had slipped out and I was now put on the spot, unsure of how to proceed. "Yeah, I mean, he is. What I mean to say is just… he might seem great, but he's not all that great all the time. He has his bad sides too…" I trailed off, realizing I had said more than I would've had to.

"What are his bad sides?" People asked curiously.

"Uuum…" I had really dug myself a hole with this one. "Well for one, he's bad at delegating his time, he misses important appointments all the time. And he talks too much. He doesn't know when to shut up."

Michelle raised her eyebrows. "So he's like you, then?"

"No! No way! Not like me! …I'm just saying; he's not always all that great." Having this conversation was like watching a multi-car crash and each new word I spoke was another car into the mix.

"Actually, you're right." Michelle agreed. "He kind of put me off a little yesterday, saying I should adapt to this sexist world where women can't walk home alone without some form of protection."

"Woah, he said that?" Liz dismayed, to which M.J. shrugged.

I couldn't stand by and let this degenerate further. I had to say something. "Don't you think what he meant to say was that you shouldn't accept the world as it is, but you need to be aware that there are dangers out there and take precautions?" And now I'm back to defending him again? Pick a side Peter.

"Gee, you sound just like him. That was almost exactly what he said." M.J. shook her head in bafflement and I wanted to bury myself for having opened this gate to all kinds of trouble I was not finding myself in. "I was actually kind of spooked at how much he reminded me of you."

Everyone turned to look at me in disbelief as I tried to eat my pasta without being micro examined. They looked as if they were trying to piece together how it could be that geeky little Peter Parker could fit into the same universe as Spider-Man, and even stranger: be similar to him. "Really? Spider-Man reminded you of Peter?" Liz questioned.

"Like mother like son, I guess." I joked while trying not to make eye contact with the staring crowd.

---

A/N: Lemme know if there was anything you liked or disliked in this chapter!

10 August 2017

#spider man #spiderman #spider-man #spider-man: homecoming #spiderman fanfiction #spider man fanfiction #spider-man fanfiction #spideychelle #spideychelle fanfiction #michelle jones #michelle jones fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #like two drops of water

[gojaimas]

More Comments

MyloMatsuri: “I feel like you could've put this at the very end, after the story was finished. Dont get me wrong, I loved the little interlude. just thought that from a narrative standpoint, it would've been interesting to see this after reading how Gwen, ben, and Lucy reach the conclusion to this story.”

I disagree. It’s important to completely understand how Gwen feels at this point, so I wanted the readers to know everything about her and Ben’s past. Now is the last opportunity to show that.

kinglan10: “So while this author has Gwen describing herself as "not religious," this could mean anything from an Atheist, to an Agnostic, to a Christian who doesnt attend church often and/or doesnt think about God and religion often. And since it's somewhat open to interpretation I choose to pick the one that favors my views, which I'll go as far to say that no I dont believe Gwen is an atheist.”

Pretty much. I wasn’t expecting people to think this much about it. Gwen being religious or not isn’t important, I just figured it would come up at least once in the conversation if two people were to discuss whether or not incest was okay. I can share more about how Ben, Gwen, and Lucy think in terms of religion if people are curious, but it isn’t gonna come up in the story. It’s actually good character building exercise for me to answer unimportant background questions about them, so everyone should feel free to ask me whatever they want about the characters.

csgt: “Interesting twist to make Gwen herself the one who asked for the trip instead of her mother, but Natalie was very supportive of the whole thing. I wonder if this will be a plot point that will come up later, that Natalie might unexpectedly react better to the Bwen relationship than the rest of the parents (usually, in my stories included, Natalie is the most fiercely opposition to the cousins)”

Natalie actually being kind of nice deep down is probably a plot twist no one was expecting lol. I’ve had people commenting recently about how cold she seems compared to Frank, which is how I’ve purposely portrayed her so far, so it was fun to make her show how much she really cares about her daughter for once.

Guest: “I never thought about it before but it was weird that Gwen didnt come out to laugh at Ben hanging when she was in the Rust Bucket the whole time. This fic is now canon.”

Yeah, they didn’t really explain why she didn’t do anything at that point. And I always thought there were some holes in Gwen’s story about being forced by her mother to go on the trip with them. I definitely prefer my headcanon too.

Guest: “Lucy’s into girls? Her and Gwen just seemed like friends in the original serious but oh well. I have friends who’re bisexual so I’m not homophobic but I just can’t seen them as anything more than friends but that’s just my opinion.”

Lucy being bi isn’t something I based on anything from the original series. I just thought it fit because most of the girls I’ve known with her kind of personality have also been bi. Also, I figured she would have sort of a Captain Jack Harkness attitude towards the whole thing, as in, if she can be attracted to aliens who look nothing like her own species, she’s probably not gonna care too much about gender.

Guest: “Nice to see you following your idol Egaraptor’s “don’t break the chain” technique and caring about your fans so even when you can’t get the big chapters done just yet by uploading an interesting nostalgic take on the very first episode of Ben 10. Take your time, it only makes me more excited for it because there’s gonna be a lot of weightage to it. I can assure you’ll be as successful as Ego with your writing skills. Also Game Grumps is great”

Thanks! “Don’t break the chain” is a technique I’d recommend to anyone who wants to write a story as long as mine. I haven’t been watching a ton of Game Grumps lately, but I still love Egoraptor and everyone else on the channel.

Guest: “Something tells me this’ll go real south like ddlc”

What makes you say that, FriendGuest? Everything is fine. I am a perfectly normal hu-man.

Guest: “About the bathroom screen, yes we have seen her express other emotions before besides her trademark smiley emoji and prancing around the playground personality but for someone so seductive and sarcastic, panting from being close to Ben’s touch and running to calm herself down is the thing you’d expect someone like her to and something you’d expect Gwen to do. Deep down, we all have emotions and that can go both ways”

Well said. Lucy is a very emotional person, and that means experiencing both the highs and the lows.

Guest: “It saddens me the producers didn’t have the balls to end Oreimo right. I mean he rejected 4 girls for a short amount of time with his sister? They pussied out and gave an half assed ending. But hopefully, looks like you’ll set the record straight and please all your fans even though the ending is sadly nearing”

I actually suspect that Kyousuke used the “I will do one thing you ask of me” favor that Kirino owed him to break their original agreement and get back together in the end. But I agree, they didn’t end it well. Sorry to all you #RuriSquad people out there, but Kirino totally deserved to win.

Guest: “Julie’s a pretty underrated character tbh. I mean she was plainly made just to be Ben’s Girlfriend from the ghetto but she did have an understanding and likeable personality. They actually had good chemistry in alien force and unlike your story, Gwen was the one pushing Ben to go talk to her. They had their ups and downs in ultimate alien and broke up in omniverse for Ben yelling at a video game when he’s in a phone call with Julie. What?!”

Wait, that’s really how they ended that pairing in Omniverse? God, what were they thinking with those sequels?

Guest: “Uh I’m totally fine with Lucy having feelings for girls but with Gwen seems weird... they always seem to have a Sister or bestie relationship. It’s like pairing up Ben and Kevin to be gay when they act like bros or shipping Captain America and Bucky.”

I never said Gwen was into girls. As for why Lucy would have feelings for Gwen specifically, try not to view my story entirely through the lens of the actual show, as my story differs from it in many ways. If I haven’t done a great job of establishing it using my story alone, that’s my bad, but I hope I’ve done a good enough job of showing how Lucy’s feelings have developed over time.

Guest: “Tara Strong is the voice of my childhood”

Same! I love that woman.

Guest: “Do you watch HighSchool DxD? I mean I know it’s an ecchi anime, it’s like Game of Thrones, you watch it for the plot and the “plot”. What’s your impression on the Season 4 art style?”

I do watch it, and I’m only half-ashamed to admit that haha. I love Crossover Cosmology and I love hot girls, so what’s not to love about it? I’m not a huge fan of the change in art style, but I’m fine with it as long as Koneko is still cute.

Guest: “'This is how we met' that was a genuinely sweet moment between Ben and Lucy and something I wish would’ve happened in the canon timeline.”

Me too. Every chapter I write makes me realize more and more just how much potential the show wasted with Lucy.

Guest: “Since you have interest in drawing, after you’re done with the story, the multiple endings, moving onto others or the one shots. I hope you or someone can illustrate this in a manga or a light novel kind of way or even animate it, although a masterpiece like this definitely deserves an adaption that would be a real big deal”

I was serious earlier when I said I’d pay people to make fan art of my story if anyone was interested. The entire story is way too long for a complete manga or animated adaptation, but individual scenes might work. I might do some drawings of my own once I’m finished with the story, but my drawing practice is mostly on hold while I’m working on it.

Guest: “as much as I adore Bwen, are there any Bency stories at all? Even if they are, I doubt they could portray her character and the chemistry between her and Ben so well that makes me root for them too even this started off as a Bwen Fanfic”

I’m sure there are more out there, but I haven’t seen any. Well, aside from a single erotic oneshot I read once, but I probably shouldn’t link to that publicly haha.

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