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headcanonthings · 5 hours
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*An Alderman is withholding Geralt's payment* Jaskier: With all due respect  Jaskier: Jaskier: which is none 
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headcanonthings · 9 hours
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Clint: Why are you following me? Bucky: Because we’re dating now Clint: Okay… what about Cap? Steve: We’re a package deal Bucky: Buy one idiot, get one free
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headcanonthings · 14 hours
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Wayne: Katie, there's something I need to tell you. Darry and I are dating. Katie: I've known for the last few years. You two are inseparable. Wayne: Years? We've only been dating for a few weeks! Katie: Then what the hell were you doing before that?!
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headcanonthings · 24 hours
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headcanonthings · 1 day
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Bad Guy: I’m gonna kill you! Quentin: Oh really? How original. I’ve died so many times my gravestone says BRB instead of RIP on it
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headcanonthings · 1 day
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headcanonthings · 2 days
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headcanonthings · 2 days
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Jason: We're going to have to split up, like in Scooby Doo.
Jason, to Dick and Damian: You guys are Scooby and Shaggy. You can search the bathrooms.
Jason, to Tim: Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge in the basement.
Tim: What? Why am I Velma? And why do I get the... dubious looking device?
Jason: Because only Velma would say "dubious device". Tim gets the spooky fridge in the basement.
Damian: And what does that make you, Fred?
Jason: Bitch, I'm Daphne.
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headcanonthings · 2 days
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Clark: You wanna go to Batburger? I’ll get you a happy meal. Conner: I’m 19. Clark: So you don’t want apple slices and nuggets with a toy? Conner: …That would be nice, actually.
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headcanonthings · 2 days
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headcanonthings · 3 days
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headcanonthings · 3 days
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headcanonthings · 3 days
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Bruce: Remember, we’re on Military grounds. Be on your best behavior Jason: Watch yourselves, everyone! Bruce: This applies mostly to you Jason: Oh- You bite ONE guy and suddenly no one trusts you! Bruce: You bit his finger off. Jason: I SPIT IT BACK OUT- Justice League: *stare in silence*
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headcanonthings · 3 days
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Trent: Today I realized I'm old Ted: What happened? Trent: I fell in the park and instead of laughing, Colin came running to see if I was ok Ted: Trent: I saw fear in his eyes
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headcanonthings · 4 days
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Tony: Don’t touch anything. Peter: Yes, sir! Tony: Don’t call me sir. Peter: Yes, ma’am!
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headcanonthings · 4 days
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headcanonthings · 4 days
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Will, whispering-yelling into his phone: Where. Are. You. Hannibal?! This place is fancy and I don't know which fork to kill myself with!
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