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#and then I’d hear people going crazy about their break
kaciidubs · 2 months
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Ass or Tits?
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❣ Summary: The question of 'ass or tits' never truly mattered when you had a group of men who loved all of you. ❣  ❣ Word Count: 6.4k ❣ Warnings: Poly! OT8 x Reader, smut, humor, fluff, light Dom/Sub dynamics, creampie(s), squirting, cum play, referenced after care ❣  ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣  ❣ Additional Tags: Usual first name + pet name references for the members, Reader is referred to as Baby, Mommy, Miss, Princess, Good Girl, Bunny, Bub, Kitten, Jagi, Noona, lightly edited ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist
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“Hey, Hyune?”
The artist hummed as he sketched away at his desk, “Yeah?”
“What do you like better, ass or tits?”
He froze, dropping the charcoal pencil as your words ran through his head on repeat.
“Your ass or tits?”
There was no way he was about to get caught in an infamous partner discourse, not after years of being immune to other futile debates brought on by a certain freckle-faced fairy.
You scoffed out a laugh, rolling onto your stomach from your resting place on his bed, “I mean, I’d hope you’d be talking about my ass or tits, Hyunjin.”
Hyunjin whipped his head toward you, eyebrows pushing to his hairline, “W-Well how am I supposed to know!?  This is one of the questions every person dreads! You’re expecting me to pick one or the other on one of my favorite people in the world? What then? Are you going to ask me ‘acrylic or charcoal’? Because I’ll have you know, those are two very different mediums and-”
“Hyunjin, baby - it’s just a question!” Stifling a chuckle, you shook your head, “It’s not like I’m going to ban you from sex if you pick something I didn’t expect - I’m just curious, you know? All of you have different preferences and even though after two years I can kind of make a good guess, I wanna hear it from the sources.”
His shoulders relaxed, visibly slumping in his chair and running his cleaner hand through his short hair, “You’re stressing me out, muse! Why didn’t you lead with that?!”
You rolled your eyes, “I’m so sorry, my little drama queen - now, pick!”
Dark eyes scanned your figure, his head cocking to the side and if you looked closer you could’ve seen the gears turning in his brain.
“Mm… Tits.”
“I knew it.”
“Wha- What’s that supposed to mean?! Are you calling me basic?”
“No, my prince, I’m calling you predictable,” getting off of the bed, you walked toward him and pinched his cheek lovingly, “you grope Changbin’s chest like it’s your job, and there’s rarely a moment your hand isn’t on my chest when we’re cuddling. Now, go wash up - we’re meeting in Chris’s room.”
With a quick kiss to the crown of his head, you walked out of his room with your phone in hand, thumbs typing away in your group chat.
|❣️: Chris’s room asap 💋
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“So… Is there a reason why we were summoned? To Chan’s room, no less?” Minho hummed inquisitively, picking up a small souvenir from the eldest’s dresser and turning it in his hands.
“If this is an intervention about League, I swear I didn’t mean to yell that night - I honestly didn’t think anyone heard me!” Came Felix’s whine of defense, already making himself a home on the California king bed, “Seungmin was throwing the game on purpose and I was losing against this stupid-”
“That’s crazy.” Seungmin gaped, faux shock on his face as he purposefully rolled on top of the Aussie, a muffled groan getting caught in the midst of it all. “I told you not to put too much trust in me!”
“Lixie, hate to break it to you, but this definitely isn’t an intervention, but we’ll come back to that point later.” Clapping your hands, you took in the rest of the members who either piled onto the bed, doubled up in Chris’s computer chair, or stood against the door frame. “Anyways - I called you guys here because I have a question!”
“I’d peel a pineapple for you if you asked.”
The room went silent as all eyes shot to Jisung who was currently seated in Minho’s lap, a triumphant smile on his pretty lips.
“I… No, Jisung, it’s not that question, but I’ll remember your answer when I do ask.” Willing away the confused looks sent your way, you cleared your throat, “The actual question is; which do each of you like better - my ass, or my tits?”
The room broke into an uproar, various voices speaking over one another as some questioned the validity of the question while others argued their respective points.
“Noona, you really think we can just pick one thing to like about you?”
Minho scoffed, “I can - her ass, easily.”
“Oh… Shit, you’re right.”
“Jeongin?! Weren’t you just saying you couldn’t pick?!”
“Hyung, that was before I was reminded of how her ass looks in her pajama shorts - you can’t tell me that’s not the hottest sight.”
“I can because I chose her tits!”
Felix laughed, holding his hand up for an air high-five, “I was gonna pick her tits too, Jinnie!”
“This is the stupidest conversation I’ve ever heard,” Seungmin mumbled, throwing an arm over his face, though it did nothing to cover the redness of his ears.
“Bunny, you know you’re more than just your body parts, right?”
You nodded enthusiastically, “Binnie, I’m well aware - I’m just asking for the fun of it, it’s nothing deeper than that!”
Changbin hummed, fluffy curls shifting with the movement, “In that case, I’m team ass - it’s just so cute and round and-” He lifted his hand, squeezing the air as if it were your ass cheeks with a dreamy sigh, “-god, I love it.”
“Okay but, what if we can’t pick?” Jisung piped up, a soft pout puffing his cheeks, “There’s no way I can just choose one - look at you, you’re fucking sexy, Jagi!”
“The oral fixation says boobs, Han, there’s no way out of it.”Felix deadpanned from his place on the bed, his head turned to nail the man with a mischievous glint, “Trust me, I know.”
The latter’s eyes flicked to your t-shirt, tracing the outline of your breasts in the loose fabric with ease. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right - her tits are amazing.”
“Alright, Chan and Seungmin, you two are the only ones left - make your choice!” Hyunjin demanded lightly, gesturing his hand toward your body from his seat next to you, “Tits or ass? Ass or tits? Which one is it?”
“I’m not playing this game,” the youngest of the two mumbled, his position unchanged.
“Oh, come on, Seungmin! She said it herself, it’s just for fun, she won’t take any offense to what you choose,” Felix prodded, wiggling his body next to his boyfriend, “and we won’t make fun of you if you pick something we didn’t expect.”
“Yeah, puppy,” reaching down, you threaded your fingers through his black hair, “whatever you pick is fine with me, and if anyone makes fun of you for it, they won’t get anything from me for a week.”
That roused a small chuckle from him as he moved his arm, looking up at you with soft eyes, “Really? You think you could go that long?”
“For my Seungmin? Of course. Now, which is it, baby?”
His lips quivered, struggling between forming words and keeping his solitude until he finally murmured, “I like your thighs.”
“That wasn’t even an-”
You quieted Hyunjin with a glare, “Finish that sentence and that’s the only thing you’ll be finishing near me, Hwang.”
“Aw- I wanna change my answer, her thighs are fucking amazing too!” Jisung all but wailed, practically having a full on meltdown, “When you’re eating her out and she wraps them around your head like earmuffs - they’re so warm but you can’t hear her moans when she does it so it’s just a horrible, beautiful curse!”
“No changing your answer, Sungie, you’re still team tits.” 
Now, all the attention was directed to the only one left; Chris, still leaning against the doorway of his room with an embarrassed flush on his face - nothing preparing him for this conversation that pulled him from the sanctity of his laundry run.
“Well, Chris? What do you like?” You had to bite your lip to keep from laughing, knowing full and well that everyone already knew what their boyfriend would pick.
“Ah- You’re seriously going to make me say it?!”
“Come on, Chan, we all said ours, no matter how obvious,” Changbin sent a side eye in an unbothered Minho’s direction, “some of ours may have been.”
The eldest sighed, dropping his head before bringing it up once again, “I like your ass, baby.”
Scoffing, Felix crawled across Seungmin to get closer to you, “I don’t understand how you guys can pick her ass over these,” his hand quickly found home over one of your breasts, gently squeezing the mound over your shirt and earning a shocked gasp in return, “like, how could you not want to suffocate in them?”
“Especially with how sensitive her nipples are?” Hyunjin chimed in, claiming your other breast with his larger hand, jiggling and watching the ripples from your shirt in response.
“Oh my god- The sound she makes when you suck on them?” The bed dipped with a new weight, Jisung making his way onto the bed, causing Jeongin to crawl over and straddle Seungmin. “You guys are seriously missing out.”
Changbin groaned, “It’s not like we don’t like them, we just love her ass more, there’s a difference, Ji.”
In the meantime, you couldn’t help the small sighs of pleasure escaping you as the duo continued to fondle you over your shirt, Jisung taking the hem into his hands.
“Can we, Jagi?”
You nodded happily, “You can, Sungie.”
Hyunjin and Felix pulled back as he lifted your shirt up and off, tossing it off the edge of the bed without a care in the world - why would he, when your tits were on display for him and the men that admired them?
“Why don’t we all take the chance to really admire our favorite parts about you, my muse?” 
Hyunjin’s sultry voice easily floated through the air, the hidden implications more than enough for the atmosphere to ignite with lust.
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“Are you ready, angel?”
You blinked up at Felix with dazzling eyes, a small smile tugging at your lips, “Of course, Lixie.”
In the background, you could hear the familiar sounds of panted breaths and the rustling of clothing, but you wouldn’t dare to turn your head from the scene in front - or, rather, above you. 
Hyunjin took the role of straddling your torso while Felix and Jisung kneeled at the sides of your head without even a hint of the clothing that once covered their bodies.
“Innie, can you pass me the lube?”
Jeongin broke from Seungmin’s lips with a groan, narrowing his eyes, “Why can’t you just spit on it, Hyung? I’m kind of in the middle of something here.”
“Because I asked you to? If I felt like spitting I would’ve done it already,” Hyunjin spoke matter-of-factly, catching the glimpse of Jisung guiding his dick into your mouth from the corner of his eye, “don’t be a smartass!”
“Smarta-”
The youngest was unceremoniously flipped onto his back, the black haired singer reaching into the nightstand and tossing over a bottle of lube with a huff.
“Seriously, it was never that big of a deal, you brat.”
Snatching up the tube, Hyunjin wasted no time in squeezing a generous amount between the valley of your breasts, humming out a small apology when you jumped at the cold gel on your skin.
“Forget what I said,” Jisung moaned softly, watching the way your cheeks puffed and hollowed with each drag of his cock, “your mouth is my favorite part.”
Pulling off of him with a pop, you pumped him with your right hand and tossed him a teasing smirk, “You’re still team tits, Sungie.”
Turning your head, you eagerly welcomed Felix’s dick with an eager tongue lapping at the precum beading the tip before taking him in one fell swoop.
“That doesn’t take away from the fact that your mouth is fucking amazing, sunshine.” Felix groaned, bringing a hand to cup your cheek as he lightly thrust into your leisurely bobs.
“Especially for the fact that we’re here for these.” Hyunjin’s lube covered hands squeezed your breasts around his length, the swells positively shining as they sandwiched his cock in an unparalleled warmth.
It wasn’t long until an unplanned rhythm was found between the four of you; alternating between blowjobs and handjobs for the sunshine twins while a certain artist busied himself with a simple rhythm of humping your chest.
In the meantime, Changbin managed to swap positions with Minho for the chair, sitting the second eldest in his lap and littering slow kisses paired with sharp nips along the length of his neck while he watched the show before them.
“Chan, you’re not going to just stand there the whole time, are you?” Minho mused with a raised eyebrow, noting the way the eldest hadn’t even moved a muscle from his spot near the door.
Chris hesitated for a moment before shaking his head, “No, but I’m doing laundry - I don’t wanna get sidetracked and forget about it in the wash, you know?”
There was a disinterested hum followed by a huff he knew all too well, and he found himself pushing off of the doorway with a breathless laugh.
“You have such a way with words, you know that?”
Smirking, Minho shrugged, “I know, it’s a talent.”
Standing in front of the two - and inadvertently blocking the once flawless view - Chris planted his hands on the armrests of the chair before leaning down to catch Minho's lips in a slow kiss, just to part a moment later to do the same with Changbin over his shoulder.
“A-Ah- Tighten your hand a little, Jagi.”
“You have hands,” Hyunjin panted, licking his lips as he watched his pink tip repeatedly disappear and reappear, “help her out- fuck, Lix…”
The blond hummed against his neck, licking at a blossoming hickey, “‘M sorry, just feels so good.”
“Hyune, move your hand a bit.”
Abiding the request, Hyunjin slid his hand to the outer swell of your breast while Jisung licked his fingers before easily finding their way to your nipple, gently rolling the nub between his finger and thumb.
The moan you let out was instantly muffled by Felix’s cock, which in turn made him grit out a shivering groan, “F-Fuck, I’m gonna come soon.”
“M-Me too,” Jisung nodded frantically, eyes trained on the way his hand enveloped yours as he fucked your fist, “gonna paint those pretty tits of yours, Jagi.”
It only took a handful of strokes before Felix was drawing from your mouth with frantic breaths, Jisung slipping from your soiled hand to take over the rest of the job as they both aimed for your chest.
“God, look at how gorgeous they look wrapped around Jinnie’s dick.”
“They were just made to have a dick between them, huh?”
You groaned helplessly, bringing your hands to cover Hyunjin’s and squish your breasts together more, “C-Come on, show mommy how much you love her tits.”
If there was one thing to get them to fall, it was that title - and, like a harp string being plucked, they both came with a sharp gasp and a guttural groan, cum spraying across your breasts and a few drops even landing on your fingers.
Hyunjin shivered above you, eyebrows drawing together with the silver eyebrow piercing catching the glint of the light.
“I can see you’re close, Hyune,” squeezing his hands lightly, you watched as Jisung and Felix flocked to him, hands wandering his chest while lips danced along his shoulders and neck, “come for Miss, my prince, make a mess of me.”
A choked moan fell past his lips as his hips stuttered before he lifted himself onto his knees and came against your breasts, his cum joining the mess of the other two with ease and creating an intricate pattern of white along your skin.
Jisung dipped down to lick a fat stripe through the cum, collecting as much as he could onto his tongue before pulling Felix in for a beautifully messy kiss above you - then repeated the process with Hyunjin, leaving you in a state of horny awe.
“Seungmin, you’re up next.” Felix called happily, swiping his thumb along your breast before presenting it to your lips and watched as you eagerly licked it clean. “You’re so kinky.”
You stifled a laugh, giving the pad of his thumb a soft kiss, “You’re one to talk.”
The trio moved away to make room for the thigh connoisseur, watching as he untangled himself from Jeongin and shuffled between your legs - your pajama shorts and underwear having already met the same fate as your t-shirt moments ago.
“I… I don’t think I’m gonna last long,” he mumbled quietly, a strawberry blush turning his ears as he nudged the leaking head of his cock against the plush of your inner thigh. “Might’ve pushed it a bit too close with Innie.”
“That’s more than okay, pup,” reaching your hand out, you grabbed the lube before handing it to him, “if it bothers you, you can always have a round two later, okay?”
Seungmin nodded dutifully, taking the lube from you while tapping your legs, prompting you to lift them both and lean them on his chest; pouring a generous amount of lube in the palm of his hand to coat around his length.
With a bit of maneuvering, he had both of your calves resting on his right shoulder with his dick nestled in the tight space between your thighs and just above your pelvis - if you focused hard enough, you could feel the heat of his balls against the lips of your pussy.
“M-Mm, fuck…” Wrapping his right arm around your legs, his left hand went down to grip the outside of your thigh, squeezing the flesh as he jutted his hips forward with a quiet moan.
You watched on as he fucked your thighs in quick, sharp thrusts, brown eyes fogged and unfocused as he began to chase the high that was undoubtedly close.
“Good puppy, my good puppy - love my thighs so much, hm? Maybe one of these days I should get you to hump one, would you like that?”
You could clock the faint twinkle in his eye from a mile away, catching the subtle pout of his lips as his body rocked against yours without rhyme but with the sole reason of finishing.
His blush now crawled across his face, tinting the apples of his cheeks as his eyes found yours, “Really?”
Humming, you flexed your thighs, “Really, pup, I’d love to watch you ride me.”
He whimpered, blunt nails digging into your skin as his head dropped to nip at your ankle, “W-Want that, bub - want it so bad.”
“Then it’s yours, Minnie. I’m all yours.”
The next thrust forward had ropes of white streaking up the length of your stomach, breathless moans hidden behind firmly pressed lips as Seungmin shook against your legs, tensing and shaking with each wave until he finally relaxed with a shaky breath.
“You okay, pup?”
Nodding, he gave you a soft smile, “Yeah, but you better not forget your promise.”
You laughed, accepting a kiss to your ankle as a parting gift as he moved away from you and into the arms of a lounging Hyunjin - the comment of him being “disgustingly sweaty”, and Hyunjin’s response of “Then get off of me!”, not going unnoticed in the process.
Turning your gaze to the ceiling, a knowing smile grew on your lips, “Do I even have to ask who’s going next?”
“Nope!” Sliding into view came your darling bread, a smug grin on his lips as his face hovered over yours, “You don’t even have to guess, I’m already here.”
Bringing your hand to his jaw, you lightly scratched your nails under his chin, “Of course you are, maknae - so, how do you want me? Doggy style? Reverse cowgirl? Some secret third position I have yet to learn?”
Judging from the sparkle of his eyes the instant the second option left your lips, he had his decision already cut out and you laughed at his inability to be discreet.
“Alright, I guess this is to make up for slacking on leg day, isn’t it?”
Jeongin rolled onto his back, watching as you straddled him with ease, “You’d have to ask Changbin Hyung about that, Noona - you were the one who suggested it anywa- ah!”
You didn’t need to waste time in teasing yourself as your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, lining it up with your severely neglected pussy before sinking down in one fell swoop - a satisfied moan leaving your lips.
“O-Oh god, maybe this wasn’t a good idea…”
“Oh? And what makes you say that, baby?”
Of course, you already knew the answer judging from the way his calves tensed, his toes curled and - less externally obvious - the way his dick twitched inside of your warm walls.
“Noona, please-”
“Have a little too much fun with Minnie, huh? Got yourself all excited while you were waiting?” Clicking your tongue, you rolled your hips teasingly, “I bet you were touching yourself while Seungmin was having his turn, weren’t you, baby boy?”
He whined, tossing his head back with a groan, “Just- Just give me a minute, I swear I’ll last!”
Humming, you waited a few seconds before shaking your head, “Sorry, Innie, if you come early then that’s just how it is - just lay back and enjoy the view, okay? This is what you wanted, remember?”
With no other choice, the sounds of your joined moans soon filled the room as you rode him with one goal on your mind.
“Fuck, look at that view…” Neither one of you were aware of Changbin’s sudden presence beside the bed as he leaned beside Jeongin, basking in the sight of your ass jiggling with each bounce. “I’ll never get over it.”
“I-” Jeongin whimpered, short huffs of breaths escaping him, “T-This is the first time-”
“-she’s ridden reverse cowgirl?! IN-ah, what were you waiting for?!”
“It’s not that he was waiting,” you laughed breathlessly, though the clench of your pussy earned a moan in its wake, “he was just too excited to try everything else that normal positions were at the bottom of his list.”
“What a shame, wasting his chance like this.”
Lifting your head, you were now met with the sight of Minho directly in front of you, keen eyes unblinking as he took you in with a smirk.
“Is it a waste, Min?” Slowing your bounces to languid strokes, your head tilted prettily to the side, “I’d like to think of it as an introduction to what future chances would be like.”
This time, his smirk reached his eyes, brown irises sparkling with amusement, “You naughty kitten.” His hand cupped your cheek as he dipped down to steal a kiss, nipping at your bottom lip in the process.
You preened at the sensation, but the moan that followed came from the firm grip on the swell of your ass cheek, the hand and the pressure stemming from two different forms of familiarity.
“See? What did I tell you?” Changbin smirked, squeezing his hand over Jeongin’s to tighten his grip on your ass, “You can watch all you want, but the real fun is in touching.”
The younger groaned out a desperate sound, “‘M g-gonna-”
At the hint of his confession, you forfeited the feeling of Minho’s lips on yours for the opportunity to go back to bouncing on Jeongin’s dick without abandon, fisting the sheets to distract from the unyielding burn in your thighs.
“-a-ah- p-please- N-Noona, oh god, I-” He cut himself off with a choked gasp, hips canting as his orgasm took him by storm.
A hum of satisfaction vibrated past your lips as his warmth filled you, stilling to spare him the overstimulation for the time being. “Feels so good baby, you never disappoint.”
Once the incessant twitching of his cock died down, you lifted yourself off of his lap, shivering at the sensation of his load slowly seeping out of you and dribbling back onto his spent dick.
“So,” you breathed, looking between the two men currently surrounding you and shooting a glance toward Chris, “who’s next?”
The answer to that question was a very smug Minho, excitement thrumming through your veins as he nodded his head toward the edge of the bed - the silent command leading you to find yourself to where you currently were now.
“Minho!”
Your nails clawed at the sheets, the mattress rocking along with your body as the black haired man fucked into you like a man possessed.
“It’s only fair that someone gives you your first orgasm of the night, kitten,” he drawled, thumbs digging into the small of your back as he held you impossibly tighter, “why wouldn’t I make sure that it’s me giving it to you?”
Your body couldn’t decide between attempting to run away from his powerful thrusts, or submit yourself to the fiery pleasure that hoped to consume you, until you felt the warmth of his hands sliding up your back, past your shoulder blades, and along your forearms.
Like a slab of clay for him to mold, he maneuvered your arms behind your back and pinned them with one hand, the other going back to its home on your hip as he aimed long, precise thrusts to a spot he was well acquainted with.
The side of your face melted into the mattress, tears of pleasure blurring your vision, as any sound you’d hoped to make dissolved into hiccuped breaths and encouraging mewls.
Minho grunted, clenching his jaw as he felt the telltale signs of your orgasm begin to shine through, “That’s it, kitten, give it to me.”
Your legs trembled, pussy fluttering and clenching with each passing second until your body tensed with a cry of his name falling from your spit-shined lips.
He welcomed the new wave of arousal coating his dick and adding to the already sloppy glide of your cunt, wet slaps sounding through the room as he fucked you through your high with a breathless chuckle.
“There it is.”
Grip tightening on your wrists, his hips met yours a number of times before he pulled out with a gasp, jacking himself off with his free hand and coming along the curve of your ass and thighs - much to your delirious chagrin.
“Why…?” You whined breathlessly, wiggling your hips for further emphasis - not that he needed it.
Minho released your wrists to land a swift smack to your unsoiled ass cheek, a satisfied smile curling his lips from the squeak you let out. “Because I wanted to - you still have two people to fill you the way you wish, kitten, let’s not get too greedy, hm?”
There was a slew of giggles and chuckles from the onlookers, and you tried your best to send them your best glare, though your efforts were in vain as you felt a pair of hands caressing your thighs.
“Get up on the bed for Binnie, bunny.”
You obeyed with no hesitation, already knowing which position you would be set in for the remainder of the session as you turned to tuck a pillow under your chin, bringing your knees up and out to sit your hips high in the air and dip your spine into a fine arch - pretty and presentable.
“God,” Changbin groaned, scrambling to fill in the space behind you as fast as he could, “I’ve been waiting so long to get you like this, bunny, you would not believe.” His firm hands instantly went to cup your ass, spreading your cheeks further and sucking in a breath at your glistening hole. “So fucking pretty…”
“Binnie.”
Your insistent, warning whine hadn’t fallen on deaf ears, and he wasted no time in notching the fat head of his dick to your fluttering walls.
“Alright, bunny, deep breaths for me.”
Of course, you already knew the drill, having grown custom to the mind numbingly delicious stretch only he was capable of giving you, but the reminder never failed to stir the swarm of butterflies in your stomach.
With a deep inhale, your slow exhale was followed by him sinking past your walls, each inch slowly stretching your cunt around his girth.
It wasn’t long until he was fully seated inside of you, and with warm hands kneading the flesh of your ass, he drew his hips back before snapping them forward, punching a moan from the depths of your lungs.
Even if you were still tingling with the aftershocks of your orgasm, you were still begging for more with each whimpered moan and choked gasp as your body seemed to melt deeper into the arch you had set.
“Look at you, can’t get enough of us, can you?” Changbin goaded, though his tone was soft and warm, “It’s okay, we can’t get enough of you either, bunny.” He lifted his hand to slap the swell of your ass, before gripping the flesh, “You and this ass of yours.”
A shiver shot down your spine as his hand slipped, his thumb caressing the inside of your cheek and just barely grazing your asshole - a temptation that had shown its face among a few of the boys before, but was never fully dwelled on by them nor yourself.
“I’m curious, bunny,” he hummed, slowing his fast thrusts for laxed, deeper ruts, “would you ever let one of us use this other pretty hole of yours?” Sliding his hand further, he pressed his thumb against the tight ring just enough to burn the fantasy into a possible reality, “Would you let Binnie fuck this pretty ass?”
You nodded frantically, your hands gripping onto the poor pillow below you, “Y-Yes! Yes! I-It’s all yours, Binnie - want it so bad!”
His signature, triumphant laugh filled the room as he tossed a glance to his boyfriends, “Hear that? I get first dibs.”
“You can’t just ask her questions like that!” Jeongin groaned, a stern pout set on his lips, “She agrees to anything if you fuck her long enough!”
“Yeah, how else do you think Felix managed to stay up late enough for his Apex tournament that one time?”
“How am I always being brought up here?!” The blond scoffed as he lightly shoved Hyunjin, crossing his arms over his lithe chest, “But, I mean, yeah - three orgasms can get you a pretty good deal.”
Jisung hummed inquisitively, before narrowing his eyes, “But did you win?”
“He won,” Minho huffed, a smirk curving the corners of his lips, “and he gave her head the next morning, I could hear her moans from the kitchen.”
Muted thumps of the headboard began to grow in frequency until a low groan interrupted the riveting conversation - Changbin hunching over your body as his muscles tensed, shivering while he filled you with his seed.
“God, fuck,” he hissed, rolling his hips against yours while your walls fluttered around him, clenching from the orgasm that was just moments away. “You’re too good to us, you know that, bunny?”
You huffed out a breathless laugh, stifling a moan as his hands massaged your lower back out of its arch for a moment of respite, “I-I’ve been told once or twice,” turning your head, sultry eyes landed on the final man of the hour, “but you guys are worth it.”
Chris flushed under the heat of your gaze, just barely catching Changbin’s teasing “Don’t break her back, Chan.”, as he climbed onto the bed and took the space previously occupied by the rapper.
“Think you can stay in this position one more time, baby?” He mused softly, caressing the warm skin of your back before gliding his hand down to the curve of your ass.
Without answering him, you spread your knees and tucked yourself into a deeper arch, wiggling your hips to further entice the man behind you.
“Yeah,” Seungmin chuckled, lazily crossing his arms over his chest, “he’s blowing her back out, it’s over.”
As much as you wanted to turn your head to respond, your train of thought flew out the window as you felt the bed dip slightly, before the pressure of Chris’s blunt tip nudged against your cunt, bumping against your clit tauntingly.
“Alright, princess,” he breathed, dragging the tip along your slit, “why don’t you give them a show for daddy, hm?”
This time, your reply came in the form of an elongated moan as he sunk into your heat, the stretch coming with ease after Changbin’s size, yet the length making your toes curl.
“Oh, god-”
There was no opportunity for a pause, not when you were miles beyond prepped and ready; the orgasm Minho previously gave you, paired with the second one Changbin gently guided you toward yet kept from tipping over, leaving you with a bubble that was ready to burst within minutes.
“F-Fuck, daddy,” you keened, pressing your hips into his own in feigned hopes of getting him impossibly deeper, “please, please fuck me.”
Chris ran his tongue over his bottom lip, eyes glued to the way your pussy wrapped around his length, as he nodded, “Hands, baby.”
A shiver of excitement shot down your spine and you complied almost immediately, using the pillow to keep your head propped up as you worked your arms behind your back, the warmth of his hand easily finding your wrists and pinning them.
With you set up to his liking, he slowly pulled out just about halfway before driving his hips forward with force, the added balance of his right foot planted on the bed adding to his power.
He was definitely going to blow your back out.
It didn’t take long for him to find the perfect rhythm, nor did it take long for the room to be filled with your high pitched moans and gasps, and the slap of your ass against his thighs - the ripples slowly, but surely, turning your limbs to jelly.
“Our perfect girl,” he gritted out, the grip on your hip and wrists tightening marginally, “letting us admire you for the beautiful gem you are - take turns with this gorgeous body of yours.”
It wasn’t news that they were constantly in awe of you, with and without your clothes on - you were the brightest star in their night sky, you were the puzzle piece they finally found to complete their lives separately and together - and they never failed to remind you of how loved you were.
“But, you know you’re so much more than that, don’t you, princess?” Chris tilted his head to catch a glimpse of your face, eyes fogged and unfocused, lips parted with endless moans tumbling through, “You’re so much more than just your body to us.”
“C-Chris!” You managed to choke out between a whimper, his loving sentiments paired with the unyielding strokes of his cock to your deepest, sweetest parts turning your brain to mush, though your body responded in the best way it could.
He hissed at the telltale clench of your walls, a shiver running down his spine as he nodded mindlessly, “Already? It’s alright, baby, you can come for me - don’t hold back, yeah? Give it to me - give it all to me.”
Your body reacted faster than your mind could at his command, your orgasm barrelling toward you at a speed that had your hands balling into fists; every muscle in your body tensing and clenching until the thread snapped with one more well angled thrust. Mouth falling open with a silent scream, the only sound you were able to hear was your own heartbeat as your vision went white.
The first thing to return to you was your hearing, the muffled thumps of your heart fading out into loud, heavy pants - though you knew for a fact that breathing wasn’t just you. The next sense to return was touch, the slightly damp sheets underneath you grounding you back to reality as your eyes fluttered open only to land on an unexpected face.
“Sungie?”
“Jagi, if I swap to ‘Team Ass’ can you do that for me, too?” Jisung’s face was ripe with blush, though his eyes were wide and wild with lust that had your abdomen clench almost painfully.
Furrowing your eyebrows, you frowned lightly, “Do what?”
“You squirted, muse,” Hyunjin murmured beside him, awe laced in his tone, “that was so fucking hot.”
Oh.
It wasn’t until you went to move your arms that you realized Chris was still keeping you pinned - and a second later you realized he was still inside of you.
“Channie?”
“I-I’m okay, I-” Relinquishing his hold on you, his hands instantly went to your hips, thumbs tracing nondescript shapes against your skin, “I just… I need a minute, ‘m sorry.”
“No, no, baby, it’s okay, take your time.” Working yourself onto your hands, your lower back eternally grateful for the relief, you took a quick scan of the empty room, “Where’d everyone else go? Did I genuinely pass out?”
“No - honestly, you were only out for like, a minute, but after you, uh, came, we started the aftercare checklist.” Hyunjin’s hand reached out to wipe away a hint of saliva at the corner of your lips, “Hannie and I are on talk-down duty, Felix is running you a bath, Jeongin’s getting you a washcloth, Seungmin is getting you water while Minho’s starting on dinner, and Changbin is getting the laundry Chan was too fucked out to get himself.”
“I’m not fucked out,” the eldest groaned as he lazily turned his head toward the artist, “it was just a really intense orgasm, alright?”
With enough energy worked up, he pulled his hips away from yours as his softening dick slipped from your pussy, a shared hiss of overstimulation escaping you both in the process.
“Holy shit… Intense is a fucking understatement, she’s dripping so much.”
You bristled at Jisung’s words, though you could feel the reality of the situation currently oozing its way down your clit and undoubtedly landing against the stained bed sheet.
“Fuck, it’s like a river… Am I allowed to be jealous right now?”
“Han, please.” Chris groaned, embarrassment evident in his tone, “We get it, I come a lot, but I really don’t know what you have to be jealous about.”
Ducking your head with a barely contained laugh, you shook your head before meeting Jisung’s stare, “Next time, you’ll be the one almost folded in half and stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey, okay?”
“I got the water, but it’s gonna cost you-” Seungmin stopped in his tracks as he rounded the bed, his eyes locking onto the mess between your legs, “What- You turned her into an overstuffed twinkie!”
“Seungmin!”
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deeswrld · 10 months
Text
Random astro observations
Some content is 18+
I’ve noticed people with Sagittarius/9H placements always seem to stand out in the field they pick or in some sort of way become pioneers. E.g. Jimi Hendrix was a Sag stellium and has a reputation of a guitar God for his innovative and crazy good guitar skills. Teena Marie (Sag moon) became a beloved non black R&B singer/artist at Motown. I just feel like Sag placements are just out here breaking barriers lol.
People with trining risings all have a certain similar look!!
E.g Most Air risings tend to have pointy chins and high cheekbones with prominent noses—I’ve noticed they always seem to have a prominent nose bridge even if it’s not that thin but it sorta gives them this Greek god/goddess look with their eyebrows slightly arching.
With water risings I’ve noticed Scorpio risings have a more reserved look in their eyes and all water risings have a somewhat oval shaped face. You can literally tell them by their eyes lol. Cancer risings have bambi eyes and Pisces risings have doll like watery eyes.
Now, I knew I started recognizing earth risings when I found Sarah Paulson to look like Adele.😭 Which further goes to prove the trining risings point I made previously.
I think I’ve stated this before but hear me out! Idk what the connection is but the moon sign also affects how you look!! I fr can’t stop guessing people’s moon signs at first glance.💀
Libra rising with 1H venus & mercury culture is constantly teasing others!! Wanting to be in a relationship yet wanting to be independent and having no problem breaking things off if they feel something’s not right.
Gemini risings with 10H suns have an INSANE bone structure/hot body!!! 😮‍💨🔥 Their arms & legs tend to be long! Legs tend to be skinny and thighs thick meanwhile their collarbones just stand out, overall they just have great bone structure! I’ve noticed this with myself & Irene Cara! 😩
I’d apply it to 10H suns in general but I haven’t looked into it as a collective thing yet.
11H Aries mercuries only speak what they think is true to them regardless of anybody’s opinion and I love how real they keep it, they’re also very humanitarian and speak up for groups/communities!
Pisces and Aquarius in the big 3 HATE boundaries. I’ve noticed this with myself and Axl Rose!😂 Ironically I’m Pisces sun-Aqua moon and he’s Aqua sun-Pisces moon.😛
I’ve noticed a pattern with people that have Aqua venus and mars and being aggressive…🥲
Taurus venus love soul/R&B music?
I’ve noticed some 10H Chiron people have trouble with work like, they might switch jobs often.
8H Chiron and having a phobia of being touched by anybody and for no reason too?
People who’s planets fall in your 9H might be the ones who you rarely see crying but are the first to try and cheer you up! You might also see them as arrogant or too blunt at times too especially if their mercury falls in your 9H!
People who’s planets fall in your 10H, you’ll see them as reserved and hardworking, they might like to give you stuff as a love language like share their food or they might like to invite you to go somewhere. Even though it might feel a little awkward at times, you both might get into deep conversations.
Not Gemini suns with Leo moons out here causing chaos then if somebody else asks them about it they’ll charmingly lie their way out of it and make it seem like it was the other person’s fault.😭😂
Scorpio mars lowkey live for toxic sex. ✋🏽 Some Scorpio mars & Aries mars I know, also secretly have a spanking kink??😛
If you have mars in somebody’s 1H they just won’t be able to contain themselves around you! You might sexually fantasize about them a LOT too. And you’ll find them hot down to the way they talk, their body language!!😮‍💨🔥
And if somebody’s mars falls in your 1H you’re prone to getting horny like 24/7 and it’ll feel like an intense and passionate connection! Sex might be like, ripping each other’s clothes off and one get thrown on the bed while the other dominates them and they both make out while grabbing each other—basically just not being able to keep your hands off of each other lmao. Also, having sex anywhere too and going for multiple rounds during the day!💀🔥
That also applies to Aries mars in composite too!⤴️⤴️
Pisces and Sagittarius suns—when they’re not at each other’s throats—actually make a good pair!❣️
Earth suns with Earth mars are so sensual and sexy😩😩😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨!!!
Having composite mars at Libra degree (7, 19) can indicate compliments and vanilla sex!😮‍💨
If somebody has their mars in your 7H, most likely they’ll be super possessive over you. 😭
If someone has their venus in your 7H then you’ll feel very comfortable with their love language or feel like you’ve found the one!💗
Sagittarius mars in composite is often grabbing thighs, giggles or soft laughter, a somewhat competitive energy and possessive aura.❣️Also, wanting to travel and explore new places together or talking about moving or including each other in future plans! Also, learning new things from each other or talking about subjects like geography/history and genealogy or about different cultures! You both could be from different backgrounds too or similar but one person is mixed, etc…
Also, when looking at appearance not only should we consider the rising but also the 7H! Say if you’re a Gemini rising; You might be able to build muscle easily or have long legs yet thick thighs because Sag falls in your 7H and Libra is also ruled by venus. Just like how Aries risings tend to have charming smiles and great bodies (7H falls in Libra), etc…
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webslingingslasher · 1 year
Note
ughhhh peter always being so oblivious. can’t even listen to his girlfriend when she’s right in front of him, practically begging him 😡 loved your most recent story 🩷🩷 (still can’t believe there’s finally a pink heart emoji)
was this supposed to be angsty? too bad, it's smutty.
*suggestive behavior and words, no real depictions of sex, sorry kiddos.
‘How do you tell someone you want them?’ No, no, wait… ‘How do you tell your boyfriend you want him?’ 
Wiki-how says to flirt with them, been there done that, message not received. 
Teen Vogue just wants to give you ways to say ‘I love you,’ you’ve tried that too, you just get a declaration back. 
Cosmopolitan says to be bold, ‘I want you inside of me,’ is a direct quote. Bold, sure. But with Peter? You’d think he’d collapse. 
On Quora someone took the bullet, ‘how do I let my boyfriend know I want him to touch me?’ Ah, there it was, someone had to have a good answer. A man in his forties says dirty talk, your nose wrinkles. A young mom says, ‘just like that!’ An anonymous reply said to initiate fist, touch them where you want to be touched, but you can’t exactly squeeze Peter’s boobs. 
You wonder if you told Ned he’d tell Peter, you can imagine that conversation. 
‘Bro, Y/N just told me she wants you to like… use her body as a wonderland.” 
“A what?” 
Yeah, not a good idea either. 
Even with a boyfriend, a super hot, charming, smart boyfriend, you were going to die a virgin. 
Every attempt has fallen short, no matter how close you think you are from him finally getting the hint. Last week you had him between your legs, wrapped tight around his hips as you grinded up towards him, mouths refusing to break. And then, right when he finally, finally, moved his hips with yours and you moaned he pulled away and rolled off of you. That quick too, talk about a cold shower. 
“Do you want me to show you how to do that thing now?” He was panting still, he looked over you flushed out and almost pulled himself back in, too dangerous, he had to use self control. Peter uses what strength he had to get off the bed, he’s already going to his computer, you didn’t get a choice, he chose for you, if he had asked you would’ve asked to ride his thigh. 
“I’d rather you show me what your hands could do,” you mumble under your breath, you want to scream into his pillow and then hump it, does he not feel how frustrated you are? Peter hears you, he gives a chuckle, “they can help you is what, come watch,” he pats his arm rest on the chair. 
You follow his instructions, still grumpy. “I’d rather they help me in a different way,” Peter flashes you a nervous smile, you make him lose his grip on reality. He makes sure you're watching as he clicks around, he’s giving you instruction but all you can think about is his hard thigh underneath you, his grip is tight around your waist, his palm that rests over your shirt radiates heat to the skin underneath. He’s driving you crazy. 
You can’t help it anymore, you have to be blunt, it will be awkward for a second but so, so worth it in the end. “Peter, I want to-” A squeeze, an apology when his phone rings. Only three people call him, Ned, May and you, seeing as you’re on his lap that leaves two options. 
“Hey, May. Oh yeah, no I don’t think so. Um, sure. Well, he didn’t say much but he did want, no, go ahead.” You look at the ceiling and curse, Peter’s thumb brushes your hip, he’s giving teasing touches and doesn’t even know it. “I dunno, hold on let me ask,” he pulls the phone from his ear, “baby?” You look at him, “staying for dinner?” You nod, he grins, “yeah she will… okay, yes ma’am, no problem. Okay, okay, okay, alright, okay, love you too, bye.” 
“Is she at the store?” 
“Yeah, think of anything you need?” 
He clicks at the screen, “yeah, condoms.” 
You jolt at his laugh, his chest pressed tight against your back, Peter snorts, “why would you need those?” 
You stay silent and instead look at the screen and wait for him to continue his lesson, the bubble of want simmering.
—-------------------------------------
“Are you okay?” 
Peter has to literally hold you back by your shoulders, he’s gasping for air, his curls frizzy and pulled around, his shirt unbuttoned three down from the top. You attacked him the second you got into his room, nearly throwing him onto the bed before straddling him and marking your territory. 
You had been at it for a half hour, everytime he tried to stop you’d follow his movements and continue, he had no idea how you were keeping your breath. The only time he remembers you pulling away was to tug your shirt over your head before you immediately unbuttoned his collar and kissed down his neck. 
“‘M great, are you?” you’re just as breathless as him. 
He nods, “‘M good.” 
You smile, “great!” Then go to meet his mouth, Peter turns his head at the last second, you connect with his jaw, you frown but accept any skin, you trail sideways and down, sucking at a spot near his collarbone. One hand grips your hip, one settles on your ribcage. He grunts and you skim your lips back to his mouth, he’s slower this time, like he’s trying to edge you down carefully, you don’t accept the change of rules and open into his mouth, he wont talk the bait. 
You try again, you swipe at his bottom lip, he stays closed. Frustrated you grind down on him, he buckles but refuses to open his own mouth, last resort you bite down on his lip. 
Peter pushes you off, “fuck, you’re insatiable.” 
You look down on him, “why won’t you make out with me?” 
His cheeks are pink, his lips are red and swollen, his pupils are blown out. 
“You’re killin me, smalls.” Peter’s hands come to a rest on his stomach, they rise and fall with his breaths, “no matter what I do you want more.” 
You nod enthusiastically, he’s starting to understand. 
“Yes, so yes. What can you give me?” 
His eyebrows furrow, he doesn’t know what you want. 
“I don’t… what do you want?” 
You grind down on his belt line, his hands shoot to your hips, this was new territory. You’ve just started to grind on him the past week and he still can’t fully process it, he’s never had a feeling like it before and he knows that he’s gonna get a hard on if you keep doing that, and that’s really new territory. 
“Baby,” he groans the word but it’s a warning. 
“This, can I have this?” You try to move again but his hold stops you, he’s using too much strength. 
Peter doesn’t want to rush you, not at all. But these last few weeks have been hard, you’ve been much more open with your words and touches and god it kills him. He’s been thinking about sex, how could he not with you all over him, but he needs to hold out strength for the both of you, and god damn if you don’t make that difficult. 
“If you keep doing that do you know what will happen?” 
Are you okay with this, is what he means, because if you go down this path there’s no coming back, it’s a whole new step, he’s okay with that but are you? 
You tilt your head at him, “I’ll cum?” 
Peter exhales through his nose harshly, his voice pinchy, “jesus christ.” 
“Is it okay if I take my bra off?” Your fingers were already behind your back, he’s been lucky enough to see them a few times but not in a situation like this one where he could get to inspect them and enjoy it. “If you want, but you don’t-” he stops speaking when you toss your bra to the ground. 
“Wanna take your pants off?” 
He looks at you, he’s fully clothed almost while you’re now sitting on top of him with only panties on, how did he get here? No pants means no more barriers, you wanted to feel him, all of him, when you dry humped him. 
“Do you want my pants off?” 
How does he not get it? You’re more than half naked on his lap begging for his touch, what did he think you wanted, a milkshake? 
“Peter, where’s your mind at?” 
“With what?” 
You rub your eyes, frustration would do no good here. “I need to know where you’re at with this, cause i’ve tried everything to make it known you make me really fucking horny.” His eyes widened, it was like he had a revelation of ‘girls can be horny too?’ and yeah, he did know that they could but he never imagined he could make someone horny, even if it was his girlfriend. And maybe he did understand a little of what you wanted but he also thought you were joking, that you were hinting at a hookup teasingly but, no you were serious. 
“I do?” 
Well that didn’t sound good, did he not share the same feelings? 
“I… Peter, do I even turn you on?”
The room spins, you’re on your back in a second, Peter holds your forearms to the bed. You couldn’t even take a breath in, that’s how quick he pinned you. He didn’t want you to think, for even a second, you didn’t turn him on. 
“Don’t ever ask that again, you turn me on more than you could even begin to imagine.” 
You giggle, “oh, do I? How much?” 
He kisses your cheek, “cold shower every time you leave.” 
“Then how come I never feel you get hard?” 
Peter takes his turn kissing down your neck, he nibbles a matching mark to his on your collarbone. “Threw you off before you could.” 
You hum when he nuzzles into your neck, he places a kiss to your cheek, you look at him over you. 
“Does that mean you’ll take off your pants?” 
He laughs, “yeah, baby. I’ll take off my pants.” 
Peter sits back to pull his shirt off, you take a moment to appreciate his body. You always feel like you don’t compliment him enough, “you’re pretty,” the words fall from your lips and he grins shyly, his hands working at pants button, he’s about to shimmy them off but you stop him. 
“Wait!” 
Peter’s hands freeze, you nod at his hands, “can I do it?” 
His hands fall away and you reach forward, tension thick the second you start to undress him. You never knew how heavy a moment could be until you had your hands in your boyfriend's waistline tugging them down, knowing it was so you could sit pretty on top of him and rock on his lap. 
You rope a leg over his waist and take mount, already pressing into him further than you’ve ever been, you give a teasing roll of your hips, your eyes shoot open and Peter throws his head back with a groan. 
You whisper at the same time, minds blown. “Woah.” 
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foli-vora · 1 year
Text
without you
matt murdock x f!reader
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A/N: made myself hurt with this one tbh. I'll think about a part 2 if enough are interested, but I'll warn you - it won't be a happy ending lmao. Enjoy the angst-fest loves! x
Summary: You return after the 'blip'. Five years is a long time, and a lot of things can happen in that time.
Word count: 2.1kish
Warnings: ANGST. ANGST ANGST ANGST. i got sad af writing this. i don't even know what to put in the warnings. the events of infinity war & endgame, brief mention of the avengers, severe and utter fucking heartbreak, i would lose my fucking mind coming home after an apparent 5 years and finding the love of my life *******, lots of anxiety/panic, severe panic attack, passing out. no hate to karen here - she's a fucking babe.
-
It happens within a blink.
One moment there’s no one, and the next, an older woman is suddenly standing in your way and you can’t help the brief twitch of annoyance that she’s there. You have a meeting, you have groceries to get… you can’t just play chicken with a stranger on the pavement all afternoon.
She freezes, like many others you notice, and your frown deepens, confusion starting to take over the irritation. They all look at you, but not just you.
Time seemingly comes to a momentary freeze and you just don’t understand. Why is she looking at you like that?
The next minute—panic.
There’s a rush.
People scramble for their phones, they run. Cars swerve and there’s chaos. There are people crying, people start screaming, but there’s also awe, laughter. People embrace strangers. You know they’re strangers by the way they look around in complete bewilderment in the arms of the other, seemingly just as confused as you.
Five years.
Why do you keep hearing ‘five years’? Why are shop fronts different? What the hell has happened? 
“You’re… you’re all back,” the woman utters, tears starting to build along her lash line.
Back?
You feel it in the pit of your stomach, a sick feeling of dread slowly building until it feels like it sticks uncomfortably in your throat. Something happened. You don’t know what, you don’t know how, all you know is that you need to go home immediately.
It’s halfway back to the apartment, after passing things that weren’t there previously, shops that you had passed just hours before now different, and your phone simply refusing to connect for unknown reasons, that you break into a panicked run.
You want home, you want somewhere familiar.
Matt left for work the same time as you—would the new mayhem taking over the streets bring him home to you? Maybe he’d already be waiting, sensing the frenzy before you?
The view of your building is a welcome relief, and you slow as you reach the door, heart pounding in your chest as you take the stairs as quickly as possible. The apartment is unlocked, and you berate yourself for forgetting to lock up earlier, but Matt’s cane resting by the door turns your inward irritation to understanding.
He’s home. He got here before you. He must be waiting, maybe he’d have answers—
“Matty?” you call, “do you have any idea what’s—”
A clatter, a sweep of air, and then he’s on you.
He’s curled around you before you can even finish, his arms so tight and constricting you struggle to take in a full breath. He’s talking, muttering incoherent words into the skin of your throat and all you can do is stand there, mind whirling in a maddening rush, not even able to lift your arms to return his embrace due to his restrictive hold.
“You’re here,” he breathes, almost disbelieving, “you’re here. I didn’t want to have hope but—God, I—”
“Matt, I’m so confused,” you breathe, unsure of why tears are starting to gloss your eyes or why your heart suddenly feels like it’s beating in the back of your throat, “what’s going on? It’s crazy out there, I don’t know wh—”
“I know. I know, sweetheart. I’ve missed you. God, I’ve missed you. It’s been so long, I didn’t think I’d ever—” he trails off, unable to finish his sentence and a few more panicked kisses press into the side of your throat.
He’s crying.
You feel the wetness of his tears smear over your skin and it’s enough to bring your own falling heavily from your eyes. What is he talking about? You saw him this morning, only mere hours ago. You made breakfast, you kissed him goodbye like every other day, nothing had been different. 
“Matt,” you whimper, “what the hell is going on?”
Five years. You were gone for five years. Just one day—poof. Out of existence, never to be seen again. The city had been clouded by dust, remnants of those also taken disappearing with the autumn breeze. So many people just lost. You don’t remember any of it.
There was no pain, no suffering. You had no recollection of the time lost at all, and yet for Matt it had been years.
Years since he had touched you, kissed you, felt you. He tells you that he looked for you for weeks, months. Even went to the damn Avengers—or what was left of them—and found out what had happened. He’d been distraught, falling into a deep, dark pit of despair and heartbreak from the sudden loss of you.
You cry for him, for the time you’d lost together.
Nothing could ever make up for it. Sure, you’re here now, but could you ever truly make up for the loss of time? What had he gone through during your absence?
The two of you don’t part for what feels like hours.
Matt clings to you, inhaling you deeply and kissing whatever inch of skin he could reach. He doesn’t pull away to answer your questions, instead letting the low rumble of his voice melt through the fabric of your shirt and flooding warmth along your shoulder.
His hands still roam over you, almost as if they’re retracing your dips and curves to remind himself of how you felt when you disappeared five years ago. You catch his fingers with a sweet flutter in your chest, lifting his hand to press a tender kiss to the back of it when the smooth feel of metal catches your attention.
It’s a simple gold band, fit snug around the fourth finger of his left hand and you rub your finger over the shiny surface of it in curiosity. He wasn't wearing a ring this morning...
A ring. 
A wedding ring.
You feel sick.
He senses the moment you realise it, picking up on the sudden quicken of your heartbeat and the clammy sting of sweat that builds along the back of your neck.
His tongue darts out to moisten his lips as you stare at the smooth gold band in shock, feeling as if the room had suddenly gotten ten times smaller. He starts to shift, his fingers quickly flipping to wrap around your wrists to keep you from moving away.
“Let me explain—”
“You… are—are you married?”
“Sweetheart, please—”
You hurriedly stand, wrenching your hands from his and stumbling on your quick step back as he advances after you. He’s married? How can he be married?
Maybe he’s not. Maybe he just slid the ring you both picked out onto his finger when you disappeared in an effort to keep your memory fresh… but with the shine of guilt starting to seep into his features, you fear it’s not as sentimental as you hope.
Panic consumes you. Your eyes flitter around the room, your ears filling with a dull ring that drowns out whatever words fall from his lips as he cautiously steps after you.
It’s your apartment, but it’s… it’s not.
You start to notice the little things you had missed upon coming home so quickly. That throw over the back of the couch isn’t yours. The coffee mug next to Matt’s on the kitchen counter isn’t yours. Your trinkets aren’t lingering on the shelves where you’d placed them. Your shoes aren’t thrown by the door. Your photo with Matt isn’t in its usual spot on the wall.
Instead, another picture hangs there.
Bile burns the back of your throat. Your heart thunders away in your ears. You know what it is, you can see the general feel of it and who stands within the frame through blurry eyes, but you simply can’t accept it.
It’s morbid curiosity that makes you take those few steps towards it, a part of you screaming to not look, to turn away before it really hammers that final nail into the coffin and fucking destroys you. Maybe your mind needs to truly see it in order to make sense of it… but no. It only makes you more confused, more distressed.
What the fuck?
Oxygen is impossible. You can’t fucking breathe. You can’t—
“Sweetheart—”
It’s a wedding photo.
Matt’s wedding photo.
Matt and Karen’s wedding photo.
“Oh my god,” you whimper brokenly, clutching a hand to your chest in an effort to keep yourself together. You press where you feel the rapid beat of your heart, half wondering if you’d be able to feel the break of the frantic organ under your palm.
The room starts to spin.
This morning you’d woken up with an apartment and a fiancé, and now, only a few hours later, you have nothing. How can you have nothing? The apartment is home to you—you left your pyjamas on the floor of the bathroom this morning. You had your coffee at the counter. The love you feel for Matt is present as it always had been, there in the centre of your entire being, so sweet and consuming and yet, his love for you had seemingly vanished.
Disintegrated, along with your body apparently five years ago. Maybe with a clearer head, you’d come to understand that five years is a long time and it’s understandable that he had to move on at some point, but in the moment you feel nothing but hurt—rage.
Matt’s hands are frantic on your body, grabbing at your arms and keeping you from falling to the floor as a sob tears its way out of your chest. You can hear him try to soothe you, hear his worry that your heart is erratic and you just need to breathe.
Breathe, sweetheart—please, breathe.
You can’t. You simply can’t.
Oxygen isn’t coming as easily as it should. Your lungs burn. You’re shaking, unable to stop the tremble taking over your body as you choke on your tears. They burn your skin, painting your cheeks with the bitterness of your heartbreak and they just won’t stop. 
He supports you as you sink towards the floor, legs no longer having the strength to hold you up. He goes down with you, hands cradling your head to his chest and you can’t find it in you to push him away and escape his touch.
It’s Matt. Your Matt. 
You shouldn’t want to shrug him off. You shouldn’t feel guilty at his touch. He’s your Matt, has been for the eighteen months you’ve been together. It was meant to be you in that frame, swimming in white with a smile stretched along your lips, Matt dressed to the nines in an immaculate tux and his ever present red shades beside you.
But it’s not. It’s… it’s Karen.
It’s not you, there’s no trace of you anywhere to be seen. Had you been that forgettable? Foggy’s there, Marci a step behind holding a beautiful little girl with ribbons in her hair. They had a baby? You’ve missed so much.
You start weeping for the life you’d missed out on, for the chances and opportunities of growing older with them and the sweet potential you had had with Matt.
Gone.
All of it, just—gone.
Where would you be now had your soul not been chosen? Married? Promoted? A godmother to the sweet little angel cradled in Marci’s arms? 
“Sweetheart, come back to me,” Matt’s voice cuts through your despair, low and soft in your ear and you cling to him tighter, “breathe. I’ve got you, I’m here.”
“I-I’ve lost so much,” you choke out, hiding your tear stricken face in his throat and desperately trying to get ahold of your body jerking with each difficult inhale and broken exhale, “and I didn’t even know—”
You didn’t know. You didn’t know anything when you apparently ‘returned’. It’s all so haunting and overwhelming and so fucking confusing. 
He stills smells the same, feels the same, despite all these years. You cling to him, desperate for comfort in the moment of your utter heartbreak, but it doesn’t work like it used to and that only makes your pain increase tenfold. His hold feels wrong now. His hold isn’t for you anymore. He has a wife.
You still don’t understand. You can’t comprehend the fact that he’s married, that the arms that hold you are now meant for someone else. They were yours this morning. It’s not possible. You had him this morning; you felt him this morning, you kissed him—
“Sweetheart,” he’s urgent now, manoeuvring you in his hold until you sit in front of him, your back pressed up against his chest and his arms tight around your torso, “breathe with me. Feel my chest, listen to me and follow—in… and out. Come on—”
You pay attention to the exaggerated feel of him breathing against your back, focusing on every expansion of his chest and attempting to match the pace of your inhales. It doesn’t work. Your heart still thunders away against your ribs, your mind still runs fucking wild, and your eyes threaten to roll back from the rush of it all.
“Stay with me,” he begs, but his voice starts to sink to the back of your mind, taken over by the high pitched ring sounding in your ears.
It’s not long until black fully engulfs your vision, and Matt’s voice calling your name is the last thing you hear, frantic and terrified. Maybe you'll find peace in the darkness.
-
matty tags: @javier-pena, @dihra-vesa, @a-reader-and-a-writer, @radiowallet, @januarystears, @danidrabbles, @amneris21, @acourtofsnakes, @mstgsmy66, @evyiione, @stardust-galaxies, @kelseyxyeslek, @greeneyedblondie44, @you-got-me-starry-eyed, @withasideofmeg, @mad-girl-without-a-box, @fangirl-316, @xoxabs88xox, @federleichtefreiheit, @lavenderluna10, @mindidjarin. @stardustingold, @androah, @itwasthereaminuteago, @wildmoonflower, @naughtynecromancer, @h-hxgirl, @Unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men, @juletheghoul, @punkerthanpascal, @itswanktime, @omlwhatamidoinghere, @celestinemuse, @chaoticemz, @alexxavicry, @mylifeispainandiloveit, @cran-berry-vodka, @nishi-reads, @mandocrasis, @lawfulgranola, @ew-erin, @fuckoffbard, @spaceserialkiller, @captain-jebi
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braden-holtbys · 24 days
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Stay, Stay With Me
A/N: Hi everyone, I'm getting back into writing again! This will be a bit different for me as I'm dipping my toes into writing fics with F1 drivers. Please let me know if I should make a part two or start making more F1 and hockey fics! Or let me know if there's anything that I can improve on.
Warnings: None
Carlos Sainz x reader
“Carlos, babe…,” you started to say as you motioned for him to sit on the couch next to you. “I think we need to talk.”
“Yeah, what about?,” he asked as he sat next to you. He was puzzled, but it seemed serious from the look on your face. It’s something that was bothering you a lot, at least more than school and work. You have been in a masters program for athletic training since you two had started dating. Lately, you’ve been getting more and more hate about being Carlos’ girlfriend and how you’re just a freeloader, you don’t do anything, or you just go to school just to be closer to the other drivers.
Don’t leave me before the dark night traps me in. Do you still love me? If you feel the same, don’t leave today. Don’t ask why it has to be you, just stay with me.I don’t expect a lot right now, just stay with me. 
“I- I’ve been trying to not let this bother me so much, because I truly don’t want you to worry about me. I’ve been getting a lot of online harassment for being with you and people just think I’m a freeloader or that I’m getting a masters just to be closer to other drivers. I know this isn’t true, but-,” you started to choke up. “Maybe it’s better if we take a break or something.” 
Carlos looked at you with wide eyes, like you’re crazy for saying such things. Well it was more like the “fans” were crazy for even insinuating such things. For the last two years that you’ve been together, your hard work always shines through and he notices that. He’s always made sure to tell you that he loves that about you. No matter what team he’s one, the team principals, engineers, everyone, sees that and it’d be more of a loss to the team to not have you honestly. 
Tears fell from your eyes. It felt worse with the silence, but he started shaking his head.
There’s nothing more I want right now. I can’t even tell if my heart’s still beating. Instead of having forceful conversations with others, I’d rather enjoy the awkward silence with you. So stay, wherever that may be. When darkness comes in sometimes, I’ll be your fire. In a world full of lies, the only truth is you. This is a letter from me to you.
“Babe, I don’t accept this,” Carlos replied in a quiet voice as he pulled you into a hug. You held him, snaking your arms around him, and rubbing your hands up and down his back. “It hurts me to hear you say that, princesa. What they say shouldn’t matter, what I feel should. You’re my everything and I don’t want to lose you.” 
That made you cry a little harder, you couldn’t help it. He had thought that it was just school that was making you feel down, but no. He understood that “fans,” press, socials…. All that can be hard on the mind and heart at times. He reassured you as he kept kissing the top of your head, still holding you. 
“Bébe, I want you to stay, stay with me,” Carlos finally said after a long silence. He let go of you and used one of his hands to lift up your chin. He looked into your eyes with such love and content. “I love you so much, and it scares me that you said that. I understand if you still want to break. However, I want you to understand that I will always choose you. I swear, no one on our team thinks you’re what the “fans” think or say.” You wiped away your tears as you nodded.
“I want you too Carlos. I-I’m sorry it got to me and you know how much you mean to me. Please, let me stay?”
“Please stay because I don’t ever wanna let you go hermosa,” Carlos whispered as he came closer to kiss you. A deep, reassuring kiss that was needed. You melted in his arms as the kiss deepened before he broke away. There was a sparkle in both of your eyes, just for the other. It was obvious to others that you loved each other like you were the only two people on earth. 
“Thank you, hermoso,” You responded with a smile. 
“Nandito ako palagi para alagaan ka (I am always here to take care of you),” Carlos struggled to say, but he was learning. This is his way to again, reassure you that no matter what, you’re safe and he’s here for you.
Don’t leave me before the dark night traps me in. Do you still love me? If you feel the same, don’t leave today. Don’t ask why it has to be you, just stay with me.I don’t expect a lot right now, just stay with me.
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sluttywonwoo · 3 months
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instead of you [part thirty-nine] || l.mh
pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung
summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 
warnings: swearing, angst
word count: 3.1k
a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!
“How much longer until we reach it?”
“You’ve asked that six times in the past ten minutes!”
“That’s because no one’s given me an answer!”
“Because no one knows, Felix! None of us have hiked this path before.”
Felix grumbled something behind his brother’s back but he must not have heard because he didn’t argue further.
The majority of the hike thus far had been uphill, something that the park rangers had neglected to mention when they sent you off into the forest. Thankfully, the mountains and canopy of trees provided some kind of shade but it was still scorching hot. And humid. And you were sweating like crazy. 
Everyone was. Minho had already taken his shirt off and Felix had completely sweat through his. That was probably why he was complaining so much. He refused to take it off, though. Something about not wanting to get sunburned again. 
“You doing okay?” Jisung asked, looking over at you. 
The two of you had found yourselves in the middle of the pack for once, walking behind his parents and in front of his brothers. 
“Yeah, fine,” you answered, trying not to sound as out of breath as you felt. 
“Did you bring your inhaler?”
“Um...”
“Why do I even ask?”
-
After fifteen more minutes of walking and a bathroom break, you finally reached the waterfall. 
Felix sighed. “That’s it? We walked all this way for this?” 
“Shut up, Felix,” Jisung snapped. “It just looks small from the bridge, it’s not actually that small.”
“I’d say it’s a pretty average size,” you added, “maybe even kind of big.”
Minho laughed behind you. Thankfully, his parents didn’t seem to hear your comment. To be fair to Felix, it wasn’t a huge waterfall. It certainly wasn’t the biggest waterfall in Hawai’i, but it was one of the few that visitors could swim under. That’s what made it so popular. 
And the bridge had made it look smaller than it really was. 
There was an area to rinse off before and after getting in the water so you all took turns under the showerhead. 
Nikki was the only one who didn’t want to swim, which meant that she was stuck with all of the bags. You felt sort of bad when Jisung handed over the backpack you were sharing but Nikki assured you that it was fine, that she would rather hold them for you than have you rent one of the rusty lockers to store it in. 
Waimea Falls required everyone to wear a life jacket, regardless of swimming ability. You knew it was a liability thing but you still couldn’t help but shiver when you slung on the cold, wet vest and buckled it around your chest. Who knew how many people had worn it before you today.
Shoes were optional so you left your sandals in the gravel by the bleachers and tiptoed your way back over to the edge of the water. The boys did the same. 
The five of you stood there, staring at the rocks leading down into the lagoon, trying to figure out how to proceed without falling. It was hard to determine the best way in as all of the rocks that were big enough to step on were either jagged and/or slippery.
“Ladies first,” Felix said unceremoniously.
You glared at him but decided to take a step down anyway. Someone had to go first and since everyone else was being a pussy it might as well be you. You moved at a snail’s pace, trying your best to move in a way that wouldn’t send you tumbling down the incline if you misstepped. 
The rocks seemed stable enough to hold your weight without sliding around in the mud but one of them wobbled under you upon stepping on it, making you nearly lose your balance. 
“Careful!” Jisung and Minho shouted at the same time, causing you to turn around and make a face at them both. 
They traded weird looks with each other before turning their attention back to you, who had made significant progress toward the water. By the time you finally reached the edge, the boys had started trekking down behind you, much more haphazardly than you had. 
You extended your leg out in front of you to feel it out, trying not to scream when your toes grazed the water. It was freezing, way colder than you expected, but you knew it would feel incredible once you were fully submerged. It was one of if not the hottest days of the trip and you had sweat through everything. Even the life vest they’d saddled you with was beginning to feel sticky. 
“How is it?” Jisung called from behind you. 
“Feels good!” you lied, not trusting yourself to turn around and show him your face. He’d know you were bluffing instantly. 
Since you didn’t want to hold up the line, you took a deep breath and pushed yourself off of the ledge, finding your footing with both feet in the water. The bed of the lagoon was also covered with rocks. They were more slippery than the ones on the path seeing as they were wet and covered with algae so you had to be extra careful. 
You moved away from the shore so that the boys could get in after you. 
“Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!” was Jisung’s shout from behind you.
You turned back to see him submerged up to his waist. He apologized to the people around him for cursing before glaring at you. 
“You little brat!” he muttered, lunging at you.
You let out a yelp as the weight of your best friend dragged you under. You both emerged with dripping hair, laughing and sputtering. 
“You said it felt good!”
“It does! It’s refreshing!”
“It’s cold as fuck,” he muttered, “and you knew that.”
“What, can’t take a little chill?” you taunted.
He splashed you. 
“Are we going to swim over to the waterfall or what?” Minho’s voice echoed from behind you both, sounding annoyed. 
Jisung smirked before turning around to face his older brother. 
“We don’t all have to go together. You could have gone on without us.”
Felix was the last to get in, gingerly stepping on the algae-covered rocks to make his way over to the three of you. Dom stayed by the edge, content to keep Nikki company from the water. He claimed to be too old to swim against the current just to get thousands of gallons of water dunked on him. 
“Let’s go, babe,” Jisung said, jerking his head over his shoulder in the direction of the waterfall.
Swimming to the base of the waterfall proved to be a lot more difficult than it looked. The current was strong and moving against it required a lot of effort. People who weren’t strong swimmers had no chance of making it all the way under. 
It was doable for you, but not without struggle. The boys seemed to be in the same boat, save for Minho, who was the fittest out of all of you. He was already several strokes ahead of the rest of you when Jisung called out for him to wait up. He paused and tread water while he waited for you and the twins to catch up. 
“I thought we were going together,” Felix panted bitterly. 
“Not my fault you guys are slow,” he rebutted. 
“Maybe we should hold hands,” Jisung suggested and pointed to another family who was making significantly more progress. “They’re doing it.”
“You think that’s going to work?” you asked. 
“Yeah, how do we know you guys aren’t just going to hold me back?”
Felix clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Minho-”
“You could stand to pull some more weight, K-pop boy,” Jisung pointed out.
“Tsk, fine. How should we do this?”
Minho obviously helmed the line. You were stuck between him and Jisung, with Felix bringing up the rear. You didn’t argue about your place in the order but it did feel strange to be holding both Minho and Jisung’s hands at the same time. You couldn’t tell whether they felt similarly but you had to assume they did. 
Minho tugged you along and you pulled Jisung in turn. They held on to you tightly so as not to lose you in the tide. You tried to focus on keeping your head above the surface instead of the feeling of both of their hands in yours. 
Jisung’s hand-holding strategy actually worked and you made it to the waterfall twice as fast as you would have on your own. 
Trying to get under the waterfall was another ordeal. The water pressure was so aggressive that you had to fight against the water in order to get up on the rocks right beneath the stream. 
“This kind of hurts!” Jisung shouted over the roaring of the water. 
“Yeah, I think I’m getting bruises!” Minho agreed. 
“You guys are pussies!” you yelled, even though it did hurt and you wouldn’t be surprised if was bruising you. 
“I think Mom is trying to take a picture!” Felix screamed.
Automatically, all four of you posed even though you couldn’t see where Nikki was and you could barely open your eyes under the stream. You grabbed for Jisung but got Minho instead, accidentally squeezing his ass in an effort to hold his hand. How you mixed up the person standing beside you and mis-approximated where their wrist was, you didn’t know, but you immediately let go once you realized your mistake and fumbled for the right person’s hand instead. 
If Jisung noticed what happened, he didn’t say anything about it. Minho definitely did notice and you could see him trying not to laugh out of the corner of your eye. 
“Should we swim back now?” one of the boys, you weren’t sure which, asked after you had stood there for what felt long enough for their mother to have snapped a couple of photos. 
“You guys can, I think y/n and I are going to swim around by ourselves for a bit longer.”
That was news to you but you weren’t necessarily upset about it. You hadn’t been in the water for long anyway and you wanted to make the most of it. And if Jisung wanted to be alone with you, you weren’t going to say no. 
Your number one priority was winning him back, making it up to him, as much as you could. 
You followed Jisung to a secluded part of the pool, letting him tug you along as you floated on your back. Minho and Felix either got out or fucked off to another part of the lagoon. You weren’t paying attention when you split up and you weren’t about to look for them. 
“Did you want to talk about something?” you asked your best friend. 
“No, just wanted some space from my brothers.”
“Oh, ok.”
“Did you want to talk about something?” he parroted. 
You made a face. “No, unless you’ve changed your mind.”
You could tell he knew what you referring to immediately from the way his expression shifted. 
“Not here, yeah?”
You nodded in agreement. He was right, you should have that conversation somewhere private. Still, you took his answer as a good sign. ‘Not here’ implied that there was somewhere that you would have that conversation, which meant that he was willing to have it. You counted that as a win. A very small win, but a win nonetheless. 
“What?” Jisung asked, squinting at you through the sunlight. 
“Huh?”
“What’s got you smiling like that? What’s on your mind?”
You hadn’t realized you were smiling until he pointed it out. 
“Just happy to be here with you.”
-
You had dinner at some famous burger place that night. You were too tired to pay much attention to what you were eating or what everyone was talking about but you’re pretty sure the food tasted good. 
The restaurant was in the middle of their dinner rush when your party arrived so you had to wait for a table. There was a small surf shop attached to the same building so you went with the boys to check it out while Nikki and Dom scoped out somewhere to sit. Everything was expensive so no one bought anything but window shopping kept you occupied for the time being. 
After dinner, you rode with Jisung’s parents back to the resort. He seemed indifferent to your presence this time, which you took as another win. He held your hand in the back seat and you rested your head on his shoulder. Neither of you fell asleep but you kept your eyes closed, enjoying the silence.
“We’re here, kids,” Nikki said softly once Dom had parked in the lot.
Jisung stretched, forcing you to sit up too. You thanked them for the ride, and for dinner since they paid, before Jisung asked if you wanted to take a walk on the beach. 
“Sure, let’s go.”
He led you by the hand through the maze of buildings to the hotel’s beach entrance. You passed other couples as you strolled past the pool and the firepits and it made your heart sink a little. You were jealous of them. Jealous that they could enjoy each other’s company out in the open like that. Jealous that they looked so happy. Jealous that they weren’t sacrificing one relationship for another. 
You were definitely projecting, they absolutely could have been in the same situation as you and you would never know but you refused to acknowledge that possibility because you were resolute on feeling bitter. 
The sun hadn’t fully set yet despite the late hour. Being that it was still the middle of summer, it wouldn’t get dark until much later than usual. You were also convinced that daylight lingered longer in Hawai’i than it did in other places but you had no evidence to back that up. 
“Here, I’ll carry your shoes for you,” Jisung offered, holding out his free hand for them. 
You paused. “Oh, are you sure?”
“Yeah, I know you don’t like the feeling of sand in your shoes.”
“Thank you.”
You bent down to undo your sandals and handed them to Jisung. He looped the straps around two of his fingers and resumed holding your hand. 
The sand was still warm, holding on to the heat of the day. 
“Are we going all the way down to the water?” you asked. 
“If you want to,” Jisung answered. 
“I don’t really feel like getting wet again.”
“That’s fine with me.”
You settled for walking along the outline of the tide where the sand was still dry. You followed the curves of the waves from hours past, tracing the remnants of high tide with your arms out like you were walking on a tightrope. Jisung trailed behind you for a few moments before catching up with you again. 
You had pulled your hand out of his grasp moments earlier to run ahead, distracted by the seafoam in the distance. You waited for him and put your arms back by your sides. 
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to ditch you,” you sighed when he reappeared at your side. 
“I know,” he replied. 
Instead of offering you his hand this time, he gave you his elbow. You took it gently, resting your hand on his bicep. 
He was uncharacteristically quiet. You wondered what was on his mind. When he invited you down here, you thought it would be to talk, to finally have that conversation. Maybe it had been and he changed his mind. Or maybe it had never been his intention in the first place. 
You were starting to think you’d never get an answer when he finally spoke. 
“I’m sorry for what I said.”
You tensed but kept walking, not wanting to confront whatever expression might be on Jisung’s face. If you stopped, you would have to look at him or stare at the ground. If you continued walking, you could just look straight. 
“I... didn’t mean that shit... about wishing I never met you. Or any of it really. I wanted to mean it. But I couldn’t, because none of it’s true. I was just really hurt. I still am, to be honest.”
“I understand,” you responded. 
“I want us to move past this,” he continued, “but it still feels really fresh. I mean, I only found out about you and Min a few days ago.”
You nodded as you listened. He was right. It had only been a handful of days even though it felt like an eternity. Being at odds with Jisung was hell. He was your best friend, after all. You had lived life with him by your side for the past four years. You didn’t want to imagine what that would look like without him. 
“Right.”
He cocked his head to the side, lost in thought. 
“I’m sorry too,” you added, wanting to reiterate just how shitty you felt about the whole thing. 
“I know,” he said softly. “I know you are. I knew you were then too. I’m sorry for invalidating your apology-”
“Don’t be!” you interrupted. “My actions and my words... they don’t add up. I would’ve thought I was bullshitting too.”  
Jisung scratched the back of his neck and forced a laugh. “Yeah, it wasn’t easy to wrap my head around. But I get it, I think. There’s just something about Minho, isn’t there?” 
You snuck a glance at him but didn’t say anything. You had a feeling it was a rhetorical question. 
“You must have been miserable this whole time. Trying to push down your feelings for him and then finally acting on them but being consumed by guilt when you finally do.”
“It hasn’t been the best,” you admitted, “but it’s my own fault.”
“Not entirely,” Jisung reasoned. 
You were surprised he was coming to your defense but you figured he’d go up to bat for anyone if it was against Minho. 
“Enough of it is.”
Your best friend shrugged. “I mean, it’s not like you’re known for your decision-making skills.”
You scoffed and nudged him with your shoulder. He laughed a real laugh for the first time in days. You had missed hearing it. It made you smile too. You rested your head on his shoulder and for once it felt natural. 
“I really am sorry, Ji,” you sighed, your voice wavering. 
“I know. I can’t pretend that I’m over it... but I will be. I also know that I can’t ask you to end things with him...”
“You can-”
“No,” he murmured. “I can’t. You would resent me for it.” You opened your mouth to protest but Jisung shook his head and you closed it again. “You would. Maybe unconsciously, but you would. Things wouldn’t be the same.”
“Things won’t be the same if I don’t end things with him,” you pointed out.
“I know,” he agreed solemnly. Then he sighed as if it was something he had already come to terms with. “But you���ll still love me the same. And that’s enough.”
lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!
187 notes · View notes
lemonsdaydreams · 9 months
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breaking the distance. |c.b|
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summary: You and Colby have been dating for nearly two years, enduring long distance and making the best out of time zones and chaotic work/ school schedules. The two of you knew one day the distance would be shortened to where there would be no more planes needed to see each other, and date night could finally be more than just facetiming and watching a movie together at the same time. One of you just happened to know it would be happening sooner rather than later.
~*~*~*~*~*~
No one ever expected Colby and I’s relationship to last, and I couldn’t really blame them. On the outside looking in, It seemed like it was a storm waiting to happen. Colby, a very well known social media content creator, constantly traveling and investigating new locations with his best friend in and outside the country, and lives on the west coast of the united states. Me, a non social media content creator, studying emergency paramedicine, lives on the east coast, and never even had a passport until two months ago. The main thing people always loved to throw at us was the distance. ‘Why date someone who lives a 5 hour plane ride away, when there’s plenty of people here in the same state for you to choose from?’
I personally didn’t fully expect us to be where we are right now when I met Colby over two years ago. It’s crazy how things happen though, how quickly you connect with a person. It’s as if I’d known him my whole life, as if I was connecting with an old friend I hadn’t seen in years that night at the bar. We talked and talked for hours, the rest of the crowded bar tuned out and all I saw was him. Colby and his friends he had traveled to the east coast with a few days later after we first ended up coming over to my apartment for a game night after constantly texting and getting to know each other more. Ironically, one of his friends that came with him, I knew from my childhood. Talk about a small world.
The buzzing of my cellphone in my hand snapped me out of the daydream I was in. A smile quickly spread across my face as I spotted Colby’s name on the caller ID before answering.
“Finally waking up, Mr. Brock?” I smiled as I held the phone to my ear.
“I’m so sorry beautiful, I slept through my alarm. I totally planned on waking up earlier to be able to talk to you in case you began to stress over your exam today.” His morning voice was something that always caught me off guard, the deep rasp. It always made me yearn for the day I’d be able to hear it in person, and not over the phone.
Of course over the past two years we’ve met up and spent time together, however it was usually when him and Sam were on a trip to film or when I had a small break between semesters at school and could afford to visit him.
“It’s okay Colby, I promise.” I smiled to myself and attempted to contain my excitement as I scanned the empty apartment once more. “I’ve been just cleaning and relaxing on the couch. I think if I tried reading any more of my textbooks my eyeballs might fall out of my head.”
Colby chuckled as my apartment door swung open, and I quickly muted myself as Seth, the friend of Colby’s that I’ve known since childhood came in. “Who’s ready to mo- oh shit, are you on the phone?” He quickly covered his mouth with a hand.
“Yeah, with Colby.” I giggled before giving him a ‘shh’ and taking myself off mute.
“You’re going to do great. You always do great. This is the final bridge needing to be crossed and then I’ll be able to have you in my arms every night and hear about the crazy encounters you have at work in person. God, I can’t wait for that to be real, beautiful. I miss you so much.”
“I can’t believe that it’s finally here. Just this semester and then I’m done, graduated, nationally registered to work anywhere in the country. By the way, My supervisor reached out to the base that’s not far from where you live, and they have an open paramedic spot that is up for grabs.” I bit my bottom lip and glanced at Seth who also shared the same nervous look.
I’ve always hated lying, and lying to Colby these past few months have been absolute torture. But he’s always the one surprising me, I wanted to finally surprise him. I ended up taking an earlier program that Colby didn’t know about, which allowed me to graduate and become a paramedic three months ago. However, Colby still thought I had another two months to go. During this time since finishing school, I’ve been working and studying protocols for the state I’d be moving to, coordinating with Sam on shipping my stuff to Vegas from New England without Colby seeing the boxes, selling stuff I don’t need to bring, and basically getting ready to move to Vegas. Of course, Colby knew this day would be coming, as we have a whole checklist we share on google docs to make sure we have everything lined up for when the day comes, He just doesn’t know it’s happening sooner. Or that I’m going to be there, in like 12 hours.
“Baby, Is it okay if I let you go? I can call you back later. I have to bring my phone to the apple store, I finally got an appointment to get my battery fixed.” I ran a hand through my hair, constantly reminding myself mentally the lying would be over soon.
“Oh good, I’m so glad you got that appointment babe, I have to get going anyway. Sam and I have to go meet up with some friends to film a video, but text or call me as soon as you finish your exam okay? I love you.”
After saying goodbye and hanging up, I groaned and laid back on the empty granite counter. “Dude, no wonder you hate lying. Thank god that wasn’t a facetime call or one look at your face and Colby would see your face and just know you were hiding something.” Seth chuckled and I flipped him the bird.
“Can we go get coffee before we head to the airport? This whole not having my own car thing sucks.” Seth chuckled once more before nodding and holding out his rental keys that I snatched out his hand before he could speak. “Yes, I’ll drive. You drive worse than my grandmother.”
~
“Now boarding Group A.”
“I’m really flying to Vegas without a return ticket.” I mumbled as I handed my ticket to the flight attendant at the gate. I glanced over my shoulder at Seth who stood behind me, laughing. “You’re finally moving to Vegas. Which means Sam and I won’t have to hear Colby talk about how much he misses your voice all the time and try to figure out what haunted places we could go see near where you live.”
“Are you sure he won’t question why my phone is off for over five hours? I mean we don’t talk on the phone all day every day, but we usually check in over text to say Hi and that we miss each other or something. I don’t think a phone battery replacement would take five hours.” I buckled my seatbelt once Seth and I got to our assigned seats. “You seriously worry too much.” Seth patted my hand as he smiled. “We’ve got it all figured out. He isn’t going to have any time to check his phone with what they’re filming.”
“This is going to be a long ass five hours, Seth. This is why teleportation should be a thing. I could already be there, with Colby.” I sighed as I turned to look out the window, anxiously tapping my foot on the ground. Seth laughed and out of the corner of my eye, I spotted him hold his phone out to take a photo.
“Don’t you dare post that.” I looked at him wide eyed, which caused Seth to laugh more. “Relax, It’s a video. For memories.” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms across my chest. “Should I yell it out now that you’re a paramedic, just in case there’s a medical emergency?”
“Don’t you dare. I’m too nervous to provide any care, nor do I want to start my career as a medic off by taking care of someone on a plane. Why aren’t we moving yet?” I peered up and around the seats, huffing as I noticed not everyone was seated.
“God this is going to be so funny to look back on.” Seth mumbled as he put his phone down.
~*~
“I’ve got all your stuff in the storage unit, and your car should be arriving in the next few days.” Sam smiled as he drove Seth and I from the airport. Colby was back at the house editing and thinking Sam had just gone out to get food for the two of them. “It’s really good to finally see you, by the way. Colby is going to lose his mind.”
“I’m so nervous.” I mumbled looking out the window of the car and taking in the change of scenery. “He thinks I’m still in my exam right now.”
“Oh I know. Dude is a love sick puppy right now.” Sam laughs and gives me a smile. “Once we get to the house, I’m going to go inside to ask Colby to come out and help me grab some stuff from my car, but in reality it will only be you.” He added while Seth readjusted the camera on the dash of the car. I nodded and prayed we’d be arriving at the house soon.
Once at the house, I laid down in the back seat of the car to hide until Colby came out. “Yeah it’s on the passenger side in the back, If you can just grab it for me as well as the camera!” Sam called out, signaling that Colby was coming my way. Before I knew it, the door was swung open and I quickly sat up and smiled as my eyes landed on Colby. “Surprise!”
Colby stared in shock for a moment, eyes wide with confusion. Next thing I knew, He was grabbing my legs and pulling me out of the vehicle and up into his arms. My arms quickly wrapped around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my legs around him as he held me. “What is going on?” Colby yelled out, turning to glance at his friends back at the doorway before slamming the car door and moving so I was pressed against it and using one of his hands to pull my head back so he could see my face. “You have an exam?” His eyebrows furrowed.
“Baby.” I laughed softly. “Oh my gosh I’ve absolutely hated lying to you. I graduated early, That’s why I was so busy over break and couldn’t see you. I didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you by being able to finally be here sooner than you thought.” I cupped his face in my hands and blinking back tears as I finally got a good look at him. “I can’t believe I’m here.”
“I missed your graduation?” He frowned, resting his forehead against mine. “I’m so confused baby.” He quickly closed the distance between us and kissed me gently. “But dear god have I been dying to kiss you.” He mumbled against my lips.
“No, It was a winter graduation so there’s no walk you didn’t miss anything.” I kissed him once more. “But I’m here. no more distance. It’s finally broken.” I ran a hand through his hair as I stared into his blue eyes. Colby pulled me closer once more and began kissing me again, deeper this time before beginning to head towards the house. “You guys should probably head our for a while.” Colby mumbled as he passed Sam and Seth, his gaze still set on me. “Already planned on it. We’ll be back later. Welcome home!” Sam called out as Colby walked away from them, still carrying me. I let out a small laugh and began kissing Colby’s cheeks and playing with his hair at the nape of his neck.
“I can’t believe you lied.” Colby fake pouted as he gently tossed me on his, ours now, bed before climbing on top of me. “But it was so worth it.” He mumbled before kissing me. “Now it’s time for me to welcome you home.” He smirked.
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strniohoeee · 3 months
Note
after a big fight reader asks matt if he still loves her or if he wants to leave her and they make love and then have a shower together, super fluff
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Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Scared Matt is going to leave Y/N her concerns are expressed. However he shows his love for her in more ways than one…
Warnings⚠️: SMUTTTT, childish ass fight I HAD NO IDEAS IM SORRY. Soft Matt?? Soft reader?? Idk I hate this
Song for imagine: Fade Into You- Mazzy Star
⚠️This is an 18+ imagine so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️
I look to you to see the truth
“You can’t just give me the silent treatment all day” Matt said to me as my back was to him
“I’m upset and I’m allowed to not speak to you” I said sternly
“I understand that but it’s been all day” he replied in a huff
“Okay and you really upset me” I said still turned over on his side of the bed
“And I told you I was sorry, I told you I didn’t mean it” he said
“That’s all it is with you though isn’t it? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it” I replied
“Baby I’m not trying to actively upset you, you just get a bit sensitive” he said back
“Sensitive?” I asked in a upset tone
“Not like that” he said groaning
“Then how? Huh?” I said looking over at him
“Listen you’re upset and I understand, but you never talk to me about it” he said throwing his hands up
“Whatever” I said rolling my eyes
“For someone who’s so big on communication you never like to talk your issues out” he said scoffing
“Low blow” I said sitting up and looking at him
“No it isn’t” he said sternly
“I’ve asked you how many times to not interact with that girl because I don't like her” I said getting mad
“It’s my fucking job to interact with influencers like what more do you want from me” he said with an attitude
“To not interact with her, she’s rubbed me the wrong way multiple times and you don’t fucking care” I said slapping my hands down
“Holy shit are you hearing yourself right now? It is my fucking job” he said clapping his hands together
“And I don’t fucking care” I said clapping my hands back
“YOU SHOULD BECAUSE IT MEANS NOTHING” he said raising his voice
“IT MEANS ALOT TO ME” I yelled back
“The world doesn’t revolve around you! I have a job and sometimes I have to work with people you don’t like or people I don’t like that’s just the way it is” he said
“You’re being a dick” I said back
“No I’m not, you’re acting irrational” he said rubbing his temples
“FUCK YOU” I yelled at him
“FUCK ME? YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD” he yelled back
I was shocked by his anger. I didn't like the influencer he was working with and he knew this. Maybe I was acting irrational. But I knew he could pull strings to not have to work with her, and that was what made me mad.
He knows my history with her and the fact that he tried to play it like I was crazy made me mad. However I was beginning to realize how silly this argument was
I stood quietly, laying back down and facing the wall. Feeling a bit embarrassed by this whole argument.
“Maybe you should go” Matt said quietly
“What?” I asked in a whisper
“Maybe we need time apart because I don’t like fighting” he replied
“Like a break?” I said getting nervous
“I guess so” he said
I turned over now facing him
“Matt, do you not love me anymore?” I replied getting more anxious
“What? No” he said shaking his head
“Do you want to leave me?” I asked
“What? God no Y/N” he said shaking his head
“I’m sorry! I was upset with you for no reason. I just really don’t like that girl and I know you can pull strings to avoid her, so that made me upset. And maybe a bit of jealousy” I said looking down
“ On any normal occasion, I could pull strings to not work with someone, but when it’s a huge shoot for a line of clothing, I cannot avoid working with people, and jealous for what? I’d never even look at anybody else in any way.” He said looking down at me
“I’m sorry Matt. I don’t know what’s gotten into me” I said shaking my head
“Come here baby” he said motioning to him
I sat up cuddling into his chest as my head laid against his collar bone. He ran his left hand against my head. Kissing my forehead and hugging me
“I love you and I would never break up with you. I just think we have to work on our communicating” he said
“Yes, I’ll work on my communication and not get so mad at silly things” I said nodding my head
“It’s okay baby and I said some mean things so I’m sorry” he replied kissing my forehead
“It’s okay Matt” I responded snuggling closer into him
Matt grabbed my chin forcing me to look up at him. Our eyes locked as he smiled before dipping his head down and planting a kiss to my lips.
The kiss slowly becoming more heated, our tongues fighting for dominance. Matt’s hand was placed on my cheek slowly caressing the skin with his thumb.
His lips moved from my jawlines to my neck. Peppering delicate kisses along the thin skin. Goosebumps rising along my arms and legs as I squirmed against him.
“Matt..” I said in a whisper
He looked up at me, my eyes indicating I wanted more, but my voice escaping my throat.
“I got you baby” he said with a small nod of his head
I slid down on the pillow as Matt hovered over me. His lips attached to my neck once again. My own lips being sunken into by my teeth.
My hands ran through his hair as his hands moved up my body landing on my breasts. Massaging them through my shirt.
I moaned and thrashed slightly against him. His hands coming down to my nightgown slowly inching it up. Matt helped me out of my nightgown.
Now laying against his silk sheets in nothing but my black underwear. His eyes scanned my body before running his hands from my thighs up to my breasts.
Firmly squeezing them as I let a moan slip from my lips.
“So fucking pretty” he said looking me in the eyes
His lips kissed my collarbones, then down to my chest. Leaving wet open mouthed kisses on the valley of my breasts before moving over to my right breast.
Attaching his mouth to the soft skin as his right hand massaged my left breast.
His tongue swirling around the sensitive nipple as my mouth dropped.
“Fuck Matt” I moaned out as my hips jutted up towards his, my hands running through his hair.
Slowly he moved his mouth over to my left breast swirling his tongue around my nipple. Lightly sucking on my nipple before gently grazing his teeth over the sensitive nerves
My back is arching like a cat and my legs squirming along the mattress.
“Matt I need more” I moaned out
“Okay my love” he replied as he kissed down my stomach
Stopping at my waistband as he placed kisses on the top of my clothed vagina
My eyes widening as my mouth fell open. God I could cum from this alone!
He slowly slid my underwear off, running his hands along the inside of my thighs never breaking the contact with me.
Matt leaned back pulling his shirt over his head before tossing it somewhere next to me. My eyes darted over his body lingering on his tatted arm….
He pulled his pajama bottoms off, and then his underwear. Hovering back over me. Smiling as he brushed some hair from my face. He pecked my lips
Matt lifted my legs a bit as he lined up with my entrance. Slowly sinking into me as he leaned over me. My eyes shut as my mouth dropped. The feeling sending shockwaves through my brain
“Can I move my love?” Matt asked me
“Please” I said in a whisper as I opened my eyes again
Matt slowly began to rock his hips against me. Slow but deep strokes and all I could do was moan out against him as my nails raked up his back
His lips left wet kisses along my neck as he began to grunt against me.
“Fuck Matt this feels so good” I moaned out as I opened my legs wider
His hips thrusting into me as he moaned out my name.
Matt slid his arm to his back taking my left arm from around him bringing it to his face as he kissed my palm.
“I love you” he said as his hips snapped into me m
“ I love you so much Matt” I moaned out
He placed my arm back on the bed as he interlocked our fingers. My right hand interlocked at his nape as he thrusted into me.
“I’m so close” I moaned out as I clenched around him
“Wait for me baby” he said in a pant
His hips moving faster against me. My thighs slowly shook as his dick curved perfectly against my g spot. His deep strokes sent me overboard.
“Matt I’m gonna cum” I moaned out pulling at his hair a bit
“Come on baby” he moaned out as he picked up the pace a little more
My body shuddered against him as my thighs closed around his torso. Clenching down on him as my mouth fell open and my eyes shut.
“Fuckkkkk” I moaned out as I began to cum all over his dick. My back coming off of the bed as my legs began to shake. My hands pulling tighter at his hair
“Oh my god oh my god” I moaned out as I was riding out my high
Allowing me to relax against him, Matt slowly pulled out. Thrusting his dick into his palm as he moaned into the crook of my neck.
“Fuck Y/N” Matt moaned out before cumming on my lower abdomen.
His breathing came out heavy as he released himself. A shaky mess as he came down from his high.
“I love you baby” he replied as he placed a kiss to my lips
“I love you too” I said as he laid against me
Nothing caught our breath as my hand ran through his hair.
“Want to shower together?” He asked me lazily
“Yes please” I said
We both got up and shuffled to his bathroom. Hopping in the shower as we let the warm water wash over us. Lathering each other in soap and shampoo as we washed each other's hair and scrubbed each other's backs.
Letting the water rinse us as we hold onto each other. My head laid against his chest with my eyes closed.
“I can’t express how much I love you” Matt said
“You just did” I said giggling
“Not like thattt” he said laughing
“I get you baby” I said looking up at him
Placing a kiss on my lips before ending our shower. Replacing his sheets and laying back in his warm bed as we watched a movie eventually dozing off.
The End
ONE MORE REQUEST GUYS!! And then I got some Chris ideas cooking up. I love yall dearly 🥹🖤🖤
-J💅🏽
@meme2003
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crazylittlejester · 10 days
Text
I’m gonna go on a crazy ass rant because I’m upset and also very tired
A huge reason as to why I characterize Warriors the way that I do, regarding his fear of being poisoned and his food anxiety, is a way to explain myself and my own anxieties caused by my allergies, because when I say to someone I don’t think I can eat the food at the party/function/their house EVEN IF it was specifically made to be free of my allergens, they just don’t understand why I can’t eat it. They just don’t understand that just because it’s ‘safe’ doesn’t mean I feel safe enough to eat it, because there’s always that lingering ‘What if’ in my mind that food made outside of my vision is contaminated somehow.
It is so HARD to explain to people the genuine fear that you are going to die because a food created an odd texture in your mouth and you gave yourself a panic attack over nothing. It breaks my heart every time I go to my friends house and her mom offers to make me food because I’ve been at her house for thirteen hours and haven’t eaten a meal with them, because even though she cleans everything and offers to let me watch her make it, there’s still this loud screaming voice in my mind saying that that food is not safe to eat. And it just NEVER goes away. I feel awful because her mom is so sweet and willing to help me, and I just can’t ever accept because I manage to convince myself it’s contaminated every time
I have been dealing with this for my entire life and never not once have I been able to get someone to understand what this feels like or seen it shown in a media form anywhere. I’ve had family and therapists both just tell me to get over myself, because I’m being ‘ridiculous’ and the craziest thing to me EVER is that for the first time in nineteen years, I have had an outlet to throw this frustration into. Warriors and the food issues I have given him are so important to me because for the first time in my life I can explain this fear through a character and even if people may not relate or really, truly get what it’s like, they understand. They understand and they recognize it as a valid fear, and it’s because of a fanfiction about a traumatized war hero. (which is INSANE to me that this is what it took for people to understand, but you know what, I’ll take it)
This rant was inspired because I opened a sealed container of ice cream and the allergen labels were incorrect and now I can’t eat it and I’ve wasted money and I’m so upset and it’s been a really long week, but also because I never saw anyone talking about this when I was a kid, and if I’d had someone there to represent me like this, or just be there for me to connect with, I would’ve felt a lot better. Understanding allergies and food restrictions is so important for so many reasons, the most important being that if you know how to help someone, you can save their LIFE. And for other people who feel the same way I do, it’s so GOOD to know you’re not alone and that there’s someone out there who gets what you’re dealing with
If I can make people understand what it’s like to live life this way, then that is so important to me. If I can explain to people what to do in an emergency situation because their friend is having a allergic reaction, I will, because not enough people understand how allergies work, and I’m sick and tired of hearing stories about kids with allergies who were peer pressured into eating when they didn’t feel comfortable and then suffering the consequences, and I am TIRED of seeing companies mislabel their fucking food.
Also do NOT be afraid to ask any friends or classmates or coworkers with allergies how to use an epi pen because You Could Save Their Life. If anyone is curious, I’LL tell you, or look up a youtube video I’m sure there are some on there
Anyways, this is why I give Warriors the food issues I do in my fics, for anyone else out there with allergies who’s ever felt invalidated by people telling them their anxieties were stupid, and so people who have no idea what it’s like to fear your food will kill you can try to understand that this is the irritating reality for some of your peers. (not that everyone with allergies has this exact experience, I have a friend with allergies who just eats whatever and prays it wont kill them, but I know now that there are plenty of people out there with allergies who DO have this experience)
Sorry for kinda ranting, (I’m just a little guy 🥺), but this is something that is so hugely important to me, and sorry Warriors but you had too similar of a problem so now you get my exact issues 🫶
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noproofread · 2 months
Text
The Painter
"Would you ever try to leave me for somebody who deserves you most?"
Inspired by Million Dollar Houses
Luffy wants reader to sail with him, reader decides to stay.
bittersweet fluff~
word count: 1,262
masterlist here
tag list: @fanaticsnail @vangowithit @dakingsu-blog
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You held the paintbrush tightly in your hand as you stared out to the crashing waves on the shore. Your tongue slightly peeking out of your mouth as you focused on the scene in front of you, carefully color matching the bright blue color of the waves before placing the brush onto your canvas. The brush glided effortlessly across the painting, blending beautifully with the base color you had placed beforehand. It was therapeutic for you, you loved painting. And Luffy knew it. As you continued working on your piece, two hands covered your eyes, breaking your concentration. “Guess who?” A cheery voice spoke from behind you, a voice you recognized immediately as the straw-hat pirate whom you had grown to adore. “Luffy! I was working” You whined as his hands left your eyes and landed on your shoulders. You turned to face his smiling face, placing a small kiss on his cheek before turning back to the canvas in front of you. “You’re so talented wow! That looks incredible!” Luffy praised your art, as he always did. He believed you would become a famous artist, he told you that once he became king of the pirates he wanted you to paint a portrait of him and his crew in commemoration.
You were always critical of your art, but you appreciated Luffy’s optimism regarding your career. You never fully believed it as a possibility for yourself. You did believe Luffy would become the king of the pirates. You would watch him train and fight, he was unbelievably strong, and charismatic. He had such a vibrant magnetism that made people like him, believe in him, support him. It worked on you as it worked on everyone on his crew. “I’m going to take you away from this beautiful work of art you are working on because it’s our last night here before we head off to find the One Piece.” His hand found yours, prying you away from hours of work. “You’re leaving tonight?” You echoed his words, you felt a pit in your stomach at the thought of him leaving you. “No, we are leaving tonight. You thought I’d leave without you, silly?” He spoke through a wide toothed grin, running across the beach with you grabbing onto his hand.
You never imagined yourself going out to sea. You were perfectly content living your life in a small town, painting houses for a living and canvases as a hobby. The only excitement in your life came from Luffy. As you approached a high cliff, Luffy wrapped an arm around your waist before stretching his other arm upwards. “Hold on tight!” He exclaimed as you shot up quickly. The wind pressing down on the both of you, you heard Luffy laugh as the two of you fell onto a tree with him breaking your fall. “You’re crazy!” You laughed. He always got you to laugh, it was his favorite sound. “Imagine how many cool adventures we can go on! You have to come with me!” His arm was still wrapped around you. You looked down at him, smiling. You didn’t know if you could leave and set sail with him. “I’ll think about it” You whispered. “No time to think! We’re leaving tonight and you are coming! Come on!” He whined, helping you up. He moved to stand in front of you, hunching over with his back facing you. “Get on! Sanji is cooking a delicious feast and I’m hungry.” You giggled at his request before mounting him. Your arms draped over his neck as he hooked his arms onto your thighs.
“The whole town is throwing us a going away party! There’s going to be music and so much food!” He spoke excitedly. Drool fell from his mouth as he talked about the amount of food he was planning on eating. You nuzzled into his neck, smiling. You loved hearing him talk with so much enthusiasm. You were strongly considering leaving with him. The sea would offer you the freedom to venture onto a life you had given up on. You could quit your job and focus on painting. Being with Luffy would be a bonus, and you would be able to see him become the king of the pirates. You would be there. The scent of grilled meat pulled you out from your thoughts as Luffy let you down. You were greeted by a couple of members from his crew. Zoro barely acknowledged you, being buried in cups and bottles of alcohol. Nami called you over to sit next to her and Usopp.
You turned to tell Luffy but found him already happily chowing down on some food. You giggled to yourself and made your way towards Nami. “Hey! I heard you guys are leaving tonight” You started the conversation, taking a seat next to the orange haired woman. “Yup! The journey never stops!” She exclaimed, looking over at Luffy. “I thought you were coming with us? Luffy told us.” Nami said before taking a sip of her drink. “Ahh. I’m thinking about it” You shrugged. You looked over at Usopp for a moment before deciding to change the subject. “Any new stories to tell, Usopp?” His face lit up at the request. He stood on his chair and began the tale of how he defeated 47 enemies single handedly.
The day quickly turned into night. You were enjoying the party more than you thought you would. Between the drinking, eating, and dancing, you thought about this being your life if you chose to go with the Straw Hats. With Luffy. Luffy noticed you were standing alone and decided to steal a moment with you. He walked over to you, taking your hand and smiling. “Come with me, I have something cool to show you.” You smiled back at him, walking up a small hill located only mere feet away from the booming music. As you arrived at the top of the hill, you could still hear the faint sound of laughter coming from the party. Luffy sat down, pulling on your hand for you to do the same. You sat next to him, looking up at the moon in the sky. It seemed to brighten up the sky much more than usual. You leaned into Luffy, resting your head on his neck as the two of you watched the moon. The silence between you grew thick as you traced circles on his arm as you held onto it. “Have you thought about it?” Luffy broke the silence, still looking up at the sky. You took a deep breath, holding him tighter. “I can’t go with you Luffy.”
“Yes you can,” He argued. Luffy was known for not taking no for an answer. “I would just hold you back. I don’t want to hold you back.” You let go of his arm and looked up at him. “You wouldn’t-” He began, meeting your gaze. “I would.” You reached over, cupping his cheek. You smiled, it was a bittersweet feeling. “And that’s okay. Just promise to come back when you become king of the pirates. I promise I’ll paint that portrait you wanted.” You pulled him in for a gentle kiss. His lips were soft against yours. You pulled away, looking into his eyes. He was sad, but understanding. He wasn’t going to throw you over his shoulder and take you to the sea against your will. He nodded his head, looking over at the sky once again. “I’ll be here waiting for you.” You said, making him smile. “I’ll come back.”
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slvt4em1lyprenti2s · 2 months
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Hi hi ! I was wondering if you would do Amelia Shepherd x fem reader fic where R is the third twisted sister to Cristina and Mer, Amelia and reader have been in a relationship in secret for a while because they afraid of Mer’s reaction. They finally tell her and she gets protective of R but at the end she is very supportive and protects them against a patient’s hate comment? Xoxo
You’re dating my sister?
Summary: see req above!
Pairings: Amelia Shepherd x fem!reader
fluff, slight angst, homophobia, use of a homophobic slur
Word Count: 1.04k
NOT PROOFREAD
SET WHEN MEREDITH DIDNT LIKE AMELIA MUCH IN THE BEGINNING
Reader pov:
One year. One whole year me and Amelia have been dating for. It’s crazy how fast time feels when you’re in love, I do t know what I’d do without her. The only issue is my best friends, Cristina and Metrdith. Not that I’m afraid of their answer, well. I’m not staid if Cristina’s answer.
Meredith’s husband happens to be my girlfriend brother. It’s a minor detail, and you know, Meredith isn’t the biggest fan of said sister. Me and ames have talked it over and we’re going to tell people soon, but leave Mer till last, what could go wrong right?
Cristina went wrong.
“Hey! Cristina!” I whisper yelled across the nurses station.
“If you have another twisted-sisters-almost-died-or-had-a-traumatic-event drama to tell me save it for after my surgery. Please.” She sighed out.
“No it’s not that I have to tell you something. But you can not, and I mean can not, tell mer.“ I insist
“Dann what did you do screw her sister or something?”
I stay silent at this and her eyes go wide. “Oh. My. God. No you did not.”
I nod my head profusely and respond “We’ve been dating for a year Cristina. Me and Amelia, what am I supposed to tell her?!” I start to panic just thinking about all the different ways this could go wrong.
“Ohh I have no idea! Good luck, you’re gunna need it, oh and tell me when you’re telling her so I can watch.” I rolled my eyes as she walked away from me towards the OR to scrub in.
I walk to my patients room pondering ways to tell mer about me and Amelia, it was going to be a long day.
Amelia pov:
“Derek! Come here!” I call out to him across the neuro floor.
“What do you need I’ve got a surgery with Yang in like, 2 minutes?” He says looking bored before I even start talking.
“Hey you could at least act interest in what I’m about to say, oh and don’t tell mer yet. Please.” His interest was piqued at this so he gave me a look as if to say ‘keep going you’ve got me hooked’ so I continued “Me and y/n have been dating for a year, and we are o my just telling people ad were scared how mer will react because she’s not exactly my biggest fan as of right now and her and y/n/n, and Cristina obviously, are like twisted sisters or whatever.” I took a breather after sayibg all that and my brother just looked like he wanted to laugh in my face.
“Well, good luck!” He smiled and walked off to the OR.
Well shit.
Reader pov:
I walk into my patients room still deep in thought when he speaks up, he’s fairly old, around 70-ish and was in for a broken hip. “You seemed pretty serious with whatever you were talking about back there and now I don’t even get a hello? Something’s gotta be on your mind Doctor.” He gave me a knowing smirk as I open my mouth yet no words come out and let out and exasperated sigh.
“Ah you know, trouble in paradise, well, paradise’s surroundings at least.” I say trying to be as brief as possible.
“Happens to the best of us kid.” He seemed like a genuinely nice guy and to be honest I needed a break so instead of getting a nurse to check his vitals I decided I was going to do them, although it seemed someone else had the same idea.
“Hey y/n/n what are you doing here?” I hear a voice I know all too well say from behind me.
“Hi Ames, just doing Mr Davison’s vitals, are you okay?” I say giving her a smile.
“Funny I was just coming to do the same thing.” she walked beside me and trailed her hand lightly over my lower back which didn’t go unnoticed by Mr Davison.
“Your ‘paradise’ is a she? Ugh just another dyke, exactly what we need!” I stare at him shocked, as does Amelia. His sudden outburst seemed to pull some attention from outside and the one person that I didn’t want to walked in, walked in.
“Is everything okay in here?” Meredith asked.
“No get these people away from me! Horrible people you lgqbt whatever people!” He flailed his arms about like a toddler as he was ranting and raving. Immediately Meredith jumped to our defence.
“Excuse you? Who do you think you’re talking to? I have you know you’ve just made and enemy out of the best neuro, general and ortho (sorry callie) in the state. It’s 2024 in the USA for gods sake, get a grip man!” With this she ushered us out of the room and then into an in call room so she could talk to us.
“YOURE WHAT?!” mer practically yelled
“Keep your voice down, yes we’re dating.” Amelia said to mer try help her keep her head on.
“Look Amelia, I love y/n with my whole heart she’s my sister okay? So, if you hurt her, break her heart or do anything to even slightly harm her, I will hurt you twice as much. She’s the best thing that’ll ever happened to you, so don’t screw it up okay?” My heart warmed after hearing just how much mer cared about me and that she would protect me but also slightly concerned she just threatened my girlfriend.
“Yes ma’am.” Amelia murmured clearly slightly intimidated by mer.
“Okay, now that that’s out the way, I’m so happy for you guys!” Me and Ames say thanks and mer’s oager goes off so she has to run so me and amy are left alone in the in-call room.
“I love you Amelia.” I say as I peck her lips and wrap my arms around her neck.
“I love you too y/n/n.” At this she pulled me into a passionate kiss and lowered us both down onto a bed.
When in an unoccupied on-call room…
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junkdrawerfics · 8 months
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First Suspicions
And final findings.
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Previous
Summary: Two instances when your curiosity gets the best of you and Jasper has to distract you from the truth. And one instance when he's not there to do so. Curiosity might just be the thing that kills you.
Words: 1768
Note: I like this part a lot more, so I hope you guys also enjoy it! I tried to do a quick but believable process of discovery. Longer note at end.
Also @little-miss-loves-fictional-men your comment on my last post almost made me cry. Thank you for that.
---
“So you’re not related to your siblings, right?”
A month into the semester, and Forks feels like home already. Largely in part to Jasper, not that you’ll ever tell anyone that, especially him. It took only a few days for you to become fast friends. Being around him felt easy, maybe because he never seems to judge you for your odd habits, or maybe just because he’s one of the kindest, most empathetic people you’ve ever met.
Whatever it is, your friendship quickly breaks from the confines of the school. Whether it be studying at you new favorite coffee shop - though you’re thinking of going somewhere else since he rarely wants a drink or anything - or going on a walk through the woods as you’re doing now.
Jasper offers a wry smile as he helps you over a large log, “Just Rosalie, I’m afraid.”
You shoot him a disapproving look, though he catches the glimmer of laughter in your eyes, “Don’t be mean, Jasper Hale. She doesn’t seem that bad.”
It is strange though. Except for their matching gold hair, there’s not a singular similarity between him and Rose. They’re honestly the most different out of the family, personality-wise at least. Maybe that’s normal for siblings though.
“No, I suppose she’s not,” Jasper murmurs, looking up at the sky, which is practically hidden behind the canopy of pine needles. “Though I’d much rather listen to Edward go on about Bella than her talk about herself.”
Bella Swan. The girl who moved to Forks just one year before you. You have a class with her, and you honestly like her quite a bit. While you’re both awkward, it’s nice to know someone else who’s close with the Cullens.
And she might know things that could answer your growing list of questions.
Like why are they all so pale? Why do they avoid most of the school? Why do you never see them on the rare sunny days Forks gets?
“So why do you ask about my siblin’s darlin’?” Ah. Right. You weren’t being too subtle, you guess.
“I just think it’s crazy how similar you all look,” you explain, keeping your eyes glued to your shoes. Mud sticks to the sides, both dry and wet. You’ve been walking for a while now. “I mean, you all look different, obviously, but you all have the same eyes. And you’re all gorg-”
You bite down hard on your tongue and come to a stuttering stop. 
That wasn’t supposed to come out.
Jasper stops right beside you, lips drawing into a wolfish, slanted smirk. You stand completely frozen, eyes wide as he steps closer, too close, leaning forward against the tree behind you. Your heart flounders wildly in your chest. Sometimes you forget he’s so tall.
“I’d sure like to hear you finish that declaration, miss (L/n),” he hums, tone bright with barely concealed mirth.
“Nope!” Your heart lurches as you duck under his arm and scuttle away. Heat burns across your cheeks despite the chill in the air. His laughter echoes behind you, warm and deep and lovely. Too lovely. Your face goes darker. “You didn’t hear anything. I didn’t say anything. Oh hey, look at that tree!”
Jasper watches you dash away, relief warring with his amusement as he follows close behind. You’re observant, more observant than he expected. He’ll have to be more careful. At least he was able to distract you.
This time.
---
“Do you always run this cold?” You poke Jasper’s shoulder as you pass him on the way to your desk.
The blond glances up from his textbook, eyes narrowing as if he’s trying to figure out where you’re going with this, “I suppose I do.”
“Maybe it’s cause you don’t eat enough,” you muse, reaching for the bag of chocolate you keep hidden in the bottom drawer. You hold it out to him with a conspiratorial smile, “I always like to keep a secret stash, want one?”
“No thank you, darlin’.” Jasper smiles, though it’s tighter. Maybe you only see it because you’re looking for it, but you swear he looks uncomfortable for a split second.
“I feel like I never see you eat,” you admit, putting the bag back in its hiding spot, “Even at school. None of you eat.”
Jasper’s brow furrows. He can feel your concern, but also your curiosity. They radiate off you in equal degrees, so he can’t tell how carefully he should tread.
“My siblings and I are on a…special diet,” he explains slowly, eyes falling back to his textbook. He can’t hold your worried gaze while he lies to you, even if it’s not really a lie. “We prefer not to talk about it.”
You tilt your head, pouting softly, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to push.” 
Guilt. Jasper can feel it biting at the back of his mind. But he smiles and murmurs a soft, “Thank you for understandin’.”
You nod. It still seems strange, though. The more you think about it, the more questions you have. You’ve hardly seen him even drink water, and that can’t be normal, even more for a special diet. But it’s not like he looks unhealthy. No one can look that good if they’re not eating enough.
A sudden heat creeps up your neck. Coughing awkwardly, you turn your attention to your own homework, trying to not focus on just how good Jasper always looks. The man is surprisingly fit under all those sweaters -
Then why does he run so cold? The thought comes back to you, like an annoying fly circling your head. You’ve noticed the same thing about Alice when she gave you a hug. Their touch is like ice, cold enough to leave you shivering after the smallest graze. It’s the kind of cold you read about in your murder mysteries, when someone is dead.
Curiosity burns hot in your chest, making you all but forget the slight warmth in your cheeks. Some things just don’t add up. And you know you shouldn’t pry, it’s none of your business and you don’t want to push him away. So why does it matter so much to you?
“Do you need help with that problem, darlin’?”
You jump, glancing up to find Jasper looking over your shoulder at the worksheet in your lap. You didn’t even hear him get off the bed. It’s almost like he’s a ghost.
“Um, sure, yah.” Your growing anxiety seems to slip away with him so close, and with it goes your curiosity. Shaking your head, you cast him an apologetic smile, “Sorry, I’m a bit distracted I guess. Did I space out?”
Jasper squeezes your shoulder warmly, voice tender with something fond, “You were starin’ at it for a few minutes. I figured it might have been givin’ you trouble.”
“Yah, yah, I guess I’m stuck.” To be honest, you don’t even know what worksheet you’re on. Help can’t hurt though. “Thanks, Jasper.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
Another successful distraction.
---
“Huh.”
You pause in your reading, jaw dropping a little.
To end the quarter, your U.S. History teacher was allowing you to do a report on anything that has been covered in class. You decided to do research into the Civil War, specifically the confederate army since you felt like it was often dismissed in class discussions. Understandably, since it’s an uncomfortable topic for most.
But you were curious, as always. There’s no doubt they were on the wrong side of history, proven by how things ended. Even if you hate what they stand for, you want to know both sides of it.
So you dug up some old books. And by old, you mean old. Written very close to the time period of the war old. They’re only digital copies, since there’s no way you could afford them otherwise, but still. And it took searching some obscure website to find them.
It makes this all the more confusing. You double check the publication date. The copyright. All of it. They all confirm the age of the book.
So how are you looking at what seems to be a carbon copy of Jasper?
It’s an old photo, dated 1862. Black and white and a bit fuzzy. A young man sits perched on a horse, decked out in a full confederate uniform and a cowboy hat. His hair is longer, light, brushing his chin, just like Jasper’s. But that’s not it. No, it’s something about his face. About the lopsided grin on his lips.
You quickly skim the few paragraphs next to the photo, eyes going wider with each word you read.
‘Jasper Whitlock, born in Texas, became the youngest man to earn the rank of Major in the Confederate Army. Major Whitlock was labeled missing in action in the year 1863, when he disappeared while evacuating U.S. citizens who were at risk in the wake of the war.’
Jasper.
They even have the same name. Different last names, but still. Can that be a coincidence? Maybe they’re related, you try to reason. That wouldn't make sense, after all. It’d be crazy. Absolutely crazy. 
You decide to google this man, Jasper Whitlock, but only a few generic results for ‘jasper’ show up. Nothing about the young Army Major. You lean back in your chair, brows furrowing. That doesn’t make sense either. Unless-
“What are you reading?”
You shriek, slamming your laptop shut.
Bella holds her hands up, eyes wide. 
“Oh my gosh, you scared me!” You press a hand to your chest, laughing breathlessly. “I thought you were Jasper.”
The brunette looks at you strangely, “Why? Are you hiding something from him?” 
You flinch. That’s straightforward. For Bella at least.
Trying to give her an easy-going smile, you explain, “No, he just has the tendency to sneak up on me. I’m working on a history project, that’s all. He knows all about this stuff and I definitely don’t, so I’m trying to spare myself some embarrassment.”
You hate lying. It makes you feel gross, but you don’t want to freak Bella out. There’s a lot of ways this could be explained, you’re sure, and you’re probably overthinking all of it. 
Yah. There’s no way that this Jasper Whitlock could be connected to your Jasper. It’s impossible.
Right?
This time, Jasper isn’t there to blow out the spark.
---
Unless.
The word rings around in your head.
Ringing and ringing and ringing until you jolt up in bed later that night and snatch your laptop from your nightstand.
‘cold skin’
‘doesn’t eat’
‘avoids sun’
‘doesn’t age?’
You click enter and only one word comes back.
‘vampire’
---
Next
So! I was so excited to incorporate the whole history thing! My headcannon is that Jasper would have been recorded in history because of his accomplishments (I mean, the real youngest major of the confederate army was 36 so him being 19 is crazy) but the Cullens have worked to to keep his name off the internet somehow. I'm sure one of them could pick up some computer skills with all that time.
And that's why you only see him mentioned in old, written text. I don't know, I think it's something really cool to think about! And what a cool way to do a reveal!
Anyways! I hope you guys enjoyed this!
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auxcordlawd · 1 month
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Part 5: Wandering Thoughts of a Ravenclaw
Summary: During Easter break you go out with friends, which ends badly.
Word count:2180
Warnings: Professor and student, age gap (all parties 18+), drinking, heavy petting, **sexual assault**
18+ readers only
It was Wednesday, and the sun was out for the first time all break. You had spent Friday through Tuesday wandering the castle, reading material from the coming term in the library, chatting with the few people who had stayed behind for the break. Less than 50 students remained so you ate at one table. You hadn’t seen Professor Snape all week, and his office door remained closed. Ever since that last night in his office he was all you could think about.
“(Y/n)?” A Hufflepuff girl whose name you couldn’t remember startled out of your reverie.
“Oh sorry, what did you say?”
“A group of us is heading to the Three Broomsticks later, some of last year’s graduates are going to be there. Specifically Quidditch players Zacharias Smith and Rodger Davies and they’ve gotten hotter.” She giggled nudging her fellow Hufflepuff Hannah Abbott.
“Yeah, I’d love to get out of the castle. I’m going a bit stir crazy!” You replied enthusiastically.
“Yay! You can meet me and Susan at the Hufflepuff door to the common room, we can get ready together. We got permission over break to allow others in our common room!” Hannah said giddily, you thankful for reminding you of her friends name.
As the sun went down you found yourself walking towards the kitchen where the Hufflepuff room was near. Suddenly Hannah grabbed your arm out from behind some wood barrels, where the door was obscured. You stepped inside, your first time in their common room, and found yourself at ease in the cozy room. Plants were scattered about, and despite being in the basement the colors of the sunset were visible through overhead windows. The girls had makeup and outfits scattered about the tables.
“None of the boys of Hufflepuff are in here right now, we kicked them out.” Alicia Spinnet, a girl on the Gryffindor Quidditch team laughed with a devious grin.
You all got ready chatting about random topics, mainly leading back to boys. “Aren’t you with that Slytherin boy, Miles?” Susan asked.
“Not really.” You said curtly, applying mascara as you spoke.
“I swear I saw you two the last day of term near the lake, and you two looked pretty cozy.” Hannah said with a mischievous smile catching your questioning face. “We don’t judge here!”
“Well yes, you did see us, but we’re not exclusive.. even though he might want to be.” You stated honestly relieved to be able to talk to someone about it. “This stays between us!” You said sternly while they all shook their heads yes eager to hear more.
“So… he walked me to detention after our afternoon together, and at the last minute he told me he loved me!” You blurted out.
“Merlin’s beard! A Slytherin boy announcing his feelings. How strange!” Alicia retorted looking truly shocked.
“Did you say it back?” Asked Susan.
“Uhh well, I said thanks and ran into Professor Snape’s office.” You replied awkwardly.
“That’s an odd place for refuge.” Hannah laughed with a curious look on her face.
“Well anyways this means you can flirt with the boys tonight!” Susan said giving herself one last look in the mirror before pulling out a bottle of firewhiskey from her bag. “Shots ladies?”
After a few drinks the sun had fully set. You had decided on a short denim skirt, your white trainers, a white cropped shirt that fell just at your bellybutton. Despite your showy attire, you were covering more than the others. Hannah wore a tight black dress showing off her endless legs, Susan wore a green slip dress that highlighted her red hair and showed a lot cleavage, and Alicia wore short jean shorts and a dark blue corset top.
You all made your way through the castle meeting up with some others as you strolled drunkenly to the Three Broomsticks. Muggle music was playing loud, some pop, some classic rock. The place was quite full for a Wednesday night, you all sat down at a large table in the back corner of the bar. Moments after sitting down there were several boys who you recognized as last years graduates and sat down with two bottles of fire whiskey and several shot glasses. Zacharias Smith sat down right next to you, turning toward you handing you a shot glass. “Cheers, to meeting back up with old friends and pretty girls.” He said winking at you before clinking glasses with you then others around the table before you all taking the shot.
About an hour or so later the bar was even more full, loud with people chatting, laughing, and music playing. You were quite drunk, but enjoying yourself for the first time all break. You stood leaning on a pole chatting with Hannah as Zacharias walked over to you, handing you a cocktail. He was eyeing you up and down hungrily. “It’s a shame we never became close when I was still at Hogwarts. You were always so focused on studies. I like to see you having fun now.”
“Well my studies paid off, so I think I’m due for some fun.” You said enjoying the attention, sipping more of your drink.
“You’re a vision in that outfit, I’d like to see how it looks on the floor of my hotel room.”
You giggled as you stumbled in to him, he put his hand on your waist possessively.
“It’s so hard to chat in here. Let’s step out front.” He grabbed your hand and you followed him, not really wanting to leave the group. One outside you leaned on the wall of the building, noticing how drunk you were. The chilly night didn’t even feel cold. Zacharias grabbed your waist and leaned in for a kiss, it felt good so you continued. He started grabbing you tighter, hands moving to your thighs. His fingers began trailing up under your skirt pushing it up higher so he could grab your ass. You shocked by his brashness pleaded “No, we shouldn’t be doing this.” Despite your pleas he continued as you tried to push him away. He reached up and grabbed your hand to stop you from pushing away. “Cmon your dressed like this, drinking all the drinks I got for you.” He said pushing into you more as he shoved his hands under your shirt.
Suddenly Zacharias was thrown on the ground away from you. You looked up stunned to see Professor Snape standing between you and him, his back facing you, holding his wand directly at Zacharias. You threw your hand over your mouth in shock as Snape yelled “Cruccio!” Zacharias was writhing on the ground unable to get a full plead for mercy out. “You’re lucky I don’t kill you.” Snape said seething. “Get the fuck out of here, and if you do anything like this again I will kill you.”
Snape turned quickly grabbing your wrist, before you even took a breath he apparated you both into his office. Snape was still fueled with anger, pacing back and forth before turning to you about to speak. Before he got a word out you ran into him and started sobbing into his chest. Startled he stood there for a second. Eventually he hugged you hard pushing you harder into his chest, as he rubbed your back.
“You’re alright, dear.” He said petting your hair tenderly.
“I’m so sorry” you cried, not even letting his unexpected warmth soak in.
“(Y/n) don’t be sorry. He is a worthless waste of space, I should have killed him right there.” He held onto you protectively. You stayed like that until your breathing normalized, your crying turning into light sniffling. He eased you into the chair in front of his desk. He leaned on his desk sitting in front of you, looking lost in thought.
You looked up at him through tearful eyes, for guidance. He magically made tea appear, two cups, as he turned to riffle through his potions cabinet. He poured a few drops into one of the glasses. “Tea to sober you up, as well as calming draught to settle your nerves.” He said softly handing you the cup. You took it and drank it down, feeling the immediate effects.
After a few minutes you felt quite sober and much calmer. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“(Y/n) you have no reason to. You do need to be more careful of who you surround yourself with, I may not always be around the corner to protect you, but when I saw you leave the bar with that imbecile I had a feeling.”
“You came outside to protect me?” You asked, feeling warm with that news.
He hesitated before answering. “Yes, I felt I had to miss (y/l/n).” He stood and went to open his door, sending out a paper airplane. Less than a minute later two house elves knocked on the door, Snape opened it revealing the house elves with their hands full of food, ham, potatoes, green beans, charcuterie, cookies, cakes, and a large pitcher of butterbeer. He motioned for them to set it down on his desk.
You both ate in silence for a while, feeling full and thankfully sober. Weeks before this event you could never imagine your professor caring for you like this. You felt so safe, so protected. It was quite late, most likely past midnight. “I believe its time for bed miss (y/l/n).” You looked up at him, feeling sad again.
“I-I don’t wanna be alone.” You said stuttering nervously.
“I can not assist you there.” Professor Snape said with certainty.
“Can’t I stay with you?” You asked desperately.
He stood there for a minute, questioning what to do or say. “That would be inappropriate, crossing lines.”
“But, but, please Profess-“
“Ok.” He cut you off in a tone hard to read, turning around to face the wall behind his desk.
He muttered something under his breath and one of his bookshelves moved as a door appeared. He opened the door and held out his arm gesturing you to enter. You slowly walked in, taking in the scene. His bed was similar to the four poster bed in the student dorms, yet his was larger, with black and cream sheets, pillows, and drapes. There was a small kitchenette with several teacups sitting around the sink. There was a small but intimate bathroom with a claw foot tub. A medium sized dresser was in the corner with books and potions scattered on top. It was small but not claustrophobic. It smelled strongly of him, which warmed you up in more ways than one. He was staring at you, seemingly questioning what you thought of his private space. “I love it.” You said finally speaking. You sat down on his bed and realized how intimate the sensation was. Was he going to sleep in the bed with you?
“I’m glad you’re comfortable. Would you like something to sleep in?” You nodded and he started rummaging through a set of drawers near the bed, pulling out a long black sweater, placing it in the bathroom. “Sleep well, I’ll be right in my office if you need me.”
“Wait.. Aren’t you going to sleep?” You questioned him, a truly innocent question.
“I will survive.” He said turning towards the door.
“Please, stay with me. I can sleep on the far side of the bed. I just want you nearby.” You said desperately. He seemed to falter at your words. “Go change.” He commanded.
You stood and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you. Taking the few seconds alone to organize your thoughts. Oh how the night had taken a turn. You pulled of your skirt, tank top, and sweater, and slid on the sweater Severus gave you. It was a soft cashmere, pilled with wear, wrapped in his scent you felt at ease. The sweater laid six inches above your knee, safely covering your lacy thong underneath. You splashed water on your face, used mouthwash he had sitting on his counter top, and walked out into the bedroom.
Severus had turned down the lights, with a few candles on, leaving you enough light to get back to the bed. He had changed into a black long sleeve shirt tight against his chest and arms, and slightly baggy dark green pajama bottoms. You felt so close to him seeing him like this. You saw his eyes trail down to your bare legs, quickly looking up at you. “Come, lay down.” He said in his slow deep voice.
You obeyed climbing under the covers as he held them for you. You shifted to the far side of the bed while he climbed onto his side. You laid facing him as he did the same. “Thank you Severus.”
“Of course, but this cannot become a regular thing, you staying in your professors bed.” he said with a small smirk, tucking your hair behind your ear.
“Yes, sir.” You said smiling at him while you closed your eyes. Falling into the best sleep you’ve had in weeks.
Part 6
@yurfavmommy
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sacchiri · 2 months
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[Hellsing] Female Fans' Round-Table Discussion
A 6-page interview from the 2012 Hellsing Official Guidebook, featuring five grown-ass women chatting about Hellsing in a casual discussion format and translated into English for the first time ever by yours truly.
Honestly this was way more entertaining to read than I thought it would be. It’s also really funny seeing this super-casual discussion printed in the book right alongside Hirano's—-oh who am i kidding, this is 10x more professional and less deranged than whatever goes on in Hirano’s interviews.
Anyway, without further ado...
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Does Hellsing have little to no female fans? Nay! Assembled before you are five women with an undying love for the series. Let’s see their passion for this work show itself as they butt heads!
Is the female fanbase just hiding itself or what?
Moderator: Now then, everyone, let’s start off with introductions.
Ms. T: I am Ms. T. I’ve been walking the path of an otaku since middle school, and it’s already been ● years since then. How do I put this, all of you seem like fairly normal people…
Everyone: Oh no--rest assured we are all otaku as well. (laughter)
Ms T: Oh, really? (laughs) Anyway, I’ve continued to love manga for all this time. Thank you for having me.
Ms J: I’m Ms J. I was already at a decent age when Hellsing began serialization, but to create something so enticing-- as expected of Hirano-sensei! (laughs). This is the kind of manga I’d better buy and collect, I thought.
Ms A: Out of today’s gathering, I’m probably the one who became an otaku at the oldest age. (laughs) My friend told me, “Hellsing is a manga that really crazy people read”, so at first I couldn’t get around to starting it. But around the time volume 8 came out, I binge-read it, and it was so interesting that I couldn’t help but get obsessed.
Ms R: I’m probably the youngster in this group. By the time Hellsing started serialization, I was just entering middle school. [T/N: That makes her 27 at the time of this interview.]
Of course we didn’t really have the term "edgy-teen syndrome" back then, but around me the manga was definitely gaining popularity in that edgy teen fashion. One of my best friends was obsessed with Hellsing and I’d borrow it after they finished reading it, and I got addicted too.
Moderator: I’m under the impression that the female readership for Hellsing is overwhelmingly small, but…
Ms J: Nah, I think they’re just hiding. I mean, it’s not like you’d talk about Hellsing to someone in passing. You wouldn’t suddenly say, “Y’know, Alucard is…”
Everyone: True. (laughs)
Ms J: There isn’t much opportunity to bring it up, or perhaps you could say it’s a hard topic to bring up to the general public.
Ms A: Like how you can’t have a pork-and-rice bowl first thing in the morning or something.
Ms J: Yeah, like that. Actually, among my circle of female otaku friends, everyone has read Hellsing.
Ms T: Among manga fans, Kouta Hirano is well-understood.
Ms J: Any fan of manga who doesn’t know Kouta Hirano is a faker!
Ms T: Disregarding whether you’ve properly sat down and read his works or not, I feel like it’s impossible for a manga enthusiast to not have at least heard of Hirano-sensei. But we are talking about manga fans in general, and the range of tastes is so broad. If someone were to say to me “I’m a fan of Kouta Hirano”, only then I would be like, “Oh, so I can talk comfortably with this person”.
Moderator: It’s a good litmus test to use. (laughs)
Ms A: It’s only when you broach the topic of Kouta Hirano that you can finally talk about Hellsing. You can’t go straight from “So I hear you like manga” to “So, about Hellsing…”, lol.
Ms J: If you met someone for the first time and you go “So I heard you like manga? What about Hellsing?” that’s like coming straight for their throat with a knife. (laughs)
Moderator: Even as a gauge to see how much of an otaku your opponent is, it’s a bit too much to try and break the ice with Hellsing.
The wonders of dialogue
Ms J: Speaking of the good points of Hellsing, I think it’s that it doesn’t get overly preachy. You can see this starting from Cross Fire, but you really get the sense that everyone’s equally crazy here.
Ms A: I can see that. No one is on the side of justice. Like the Major, he’s a nasty little guy. The type of guy who would casually twist off an ant’s legs or something like that.
Ms J: That Major, his beta male levels are literally off the charts.
Everyone: (bursts into laughter)
Ms J: Actually, something that caught my interest about the setting is that only virgins can become vampires. In the first place, I don’t think European vampire lore makes that kind of distinction.
Ms T: Father Anderson is probably a virgin, since he has religious reasons for celibacy. Though it might depend on religious sect. I wonder if there’s a meaning behind this concept of chastity?
Ms J: The idea of chastity is valued in the Hellsing universe as well.
Ms A: Right, since if you aren’t a virgin you become a ghoul, and then it’s game over and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Ms R: Speaking of which, Integra’s a virgin, too.
Ms T: Integra being a virgin is an important part of the story.
Ms J: In my personal opinion, the best couple is definitely Alucard and Integra.
Ms R and Ms A: I was going to say the same!
Ms T: Integra and Alucard call each other “Count”, don’t they? You know, in a previous life it’s possible that Integra was a man. Perhaps Alucard is seeing the Count Hellsing of the past through Integra. Thinking about that possibility makes a girl’s heart flutter. Not to mention Integra’s appearance leans towards that of a man— Ah, it’s just so peak! [T/N: I'm not being facetious, 盛り literally means peak]
Ms A: Those who want to read a male/female romance can enjoy doing so, and for people who like BL, there are plenty of elements that can be enjoyed as BL also. I feel like the reason you can enjoy both things is because the relationships that are depicted are not constrained purely to sexual love.
Ms J: For those who like to read into the BL aspect, there are lots of fight scenes that can’t be ignored, can they? Particularly in the endgame. Like Girlycard and Young Walter, that was...really something.
Moderator: That part was just unfair! I mean, after getting captured by Millennium and going M.I.A., all that anticipation was building and building, and for Walter to be reintroduced like that!
Ms J: When I got to that part I was like, “Man, Hirano-sensei really did his best to keep all that stuff pent-up for so long". For both Walter and Girlycard, I mean.
Moderator: Speaking of Girlycard, I get the feeling that the idea for her was in place since the early stages of story development.
Ms J: I wonder about that… on the other hand it seems like it was a very spontaneous decision. (laughs)
Ms A: Even if the story developments feel spontaneous, I feel like the characters' settings are polished to a high degree from the beginning. Even though a new character suddenly appears out of nowhere, you end up following along without feeling a sense of discomfort. In Hirano-sensei's mind, I'm sure that each character is cultivated with an equal amount of attention. After that it's just a matter of deciding what situations the character will appear in.
Ms J: Each character is excellently molded to their place in the story. Even though normally it should be very challenging to create characters that would fit in this sort of world. (laughs) From the moment of their introduction, they are already dyed in Hirano's unique brand, and you can tell that Hirano understands them well.
Ms R: After all, characters from his past works before Hellsing make appearances in the manga, so you get the feeling that these are ideas that have been stewing in his head for a long time.
Moderator: And within Hellsing too, these characters grow and develop. Like Maxwell--he started out as a mere brat, but then he went full tryhard mode and developed that cunning and pretentious side to him.
Everyone: (leans forward) Yeah, that's right!!
Ms J: --And he had that past with Anderson, didn't he? I was like "Hold on a sec, a flashback scene now, are you kidding me"? Even though I knew that a flashback is basically a death flag, I couldn't help but love it. (laughs)
Ms A: At the final moment, Maxwell called Anderson "Sensei", a reversal of their dynamic thus far. Up until then there were hints of foreshadowing, but nothing definite. But with that single word you could feel the adoration Maxwell had felt for Anderson when he was a child... It's amazing how potent that line was. The timing of delivery was excellent, too.
Ms R: Up until that point Maxwell was portrayed as nothing more than a snob, but the truth is there were reasons why he became that way.
Ms T: Hirano-sensei is very skilled at depicting relationships between men.
The beauty of composition
Ms A: In Hellsing, there aren't any characters that go too far beyond the range of normal anatomy.
Even with regards to enemies and such, there aren't any massively gargantuan or bulky characters. Everyone is more or less normal. And yet, there is so much impact in the poses that it leaves you with a strong impression. Those standout panels just radiate style-- so much so that anyone with an eye for art will be impressed by them, I think.
Ms T: The paneling is relatively simple, but the composition sense of each panel is amazing.
Ms R: I love the stuff like Rip Van's silhouette. The balance between her and the musket is super cool. Even though something that size in real life would be impractical to shoot, it looks so cool that it's like, "Who cares!"
Ms A: Fight scenes that should have a lot of movement are instead surprisingly depicted with still frame shots, and they have a beauty to them reminiscent of paintings. It makes me want to stare at the same handful of panels for a long time. Calling it aesthetic beauty might be a bit of an exaggeration, but...
Ms T: Not an exaggeration at all, I think there is a lot of aesthetic beauty. For me, when I look at Hirano-sensei's artwork, I'm reminded of ukiyo-e paintings. And in the movement, I sense a bit of kabuki theater.
Moderator: Each panel is created with beauty in every nook and cranny, so as to work as a standalone illustration.
Ms R: The way shadow and blood is depicted is so good, isn't it? It really makes full use of the monochrome medium.
Ms A: When I was reading the scene in volume 8 when Cromwell Level 0 is released and soldiers are unleashed in hordes, it reminded me of a medieval copperplate engraving. The plot developments in that moment were so interesting, and the density of the illustrations so rich, that simply staring at them was enjoyable.
Ms T: It really draws you in, doesn't it? In other manga that have very detailed art styles, the realism makes it feel similar to a liveaction movie. But Hirano's works are 100% "manga", I would say. In that sense, none of it is realistic at all. But that's why it's possible to achieve poses and compositions that are impossible with photography, and that's why he can portray things I didn't even know I would want to see.
The position of women in Hellsing
Moderator: To all of you, was there a scene where you were like, "This scene right here is where I became obsessed"?
Ms J: So this is my personal taste, but I liked the setup of the handsome lady Master and the handsome male Servant. I like butlers, too. So once those three conditions were satisfied, I was like, "This is a good manga". The part where I was like "This is a really good manga" was when Anderson was introduced. At first, I was thinking this would be a story where Alucard dotes upon Seras and raises her up as a vampire, but then we were introduced to a Catholic priest from the same religion, yet who aims to defeat the protagonists...
Ms A: You can't deny the impact of Anderson. The only thing he wants to do is "exterminate vampires". While characters in Hellsing may undergo sudden changes, they never waver. They race from their introduction to their final chapter with just as much momentum as when they were first introduced. Not only is it satisfying to read, you won't be disappointed. As long as your favorite character appears, you can focus all your attentions on them, and before you know it you'll have binge-read to the last chapter. (laughs)
Ms T: For me, the scene when Integra discovers Alucard in the basement, and Alucard was revived with her blood is when I became hooked. While it is an expected development for vampire stories, that part of the story was very beautiful. And afterwards, I loved the tender portrayal of Seras's growth. Among ero-guro media, there are many works that portray women in a demeaning manner, but Hellsing is not one of them.
Ms A: In Hellsing, there is no distinction in the roles that are assigned to men and women.
Ms J: Indeed, women fight and stand on the front lines. And it feels natural.
Ms R: To tell the truth, when I first started reading Hellsing, I thought Integra was a man. And, for some reason it felt overly pandering [T/N: I assume she means pandering to fujoshi] and I just couldn't get into it. But then I realized Integra was a woman, and I was like "Oh, so it's a female/male master-servant relationship! I'm sorry for making such a weird assumption!" (laughs) I feel like it's important that Integra is a woman.
Ms T: In volume 1 there were moments where Integra was told incredulously, "You're a woman?", but in those moments I always felt that, ironically, being called a "woman" was what made her so much more cool. In Hellsing, you get the feeling that all characters are loved by the creator regardless of being male or female, enemy or ally. There are many standout characters among the villains, for example.
Ms J: Each character showcases their individuality in their fighting style as well.
Ms A: I love that Rip Van is this scrawny girl with long limbs, who wields an old-fashioned musket-- it gives off a really fantastic impression. The fact that a girl is given that kind of position, without it feeling offensive. When men draw female characters there tends to be a bit of double standards going on, or it can feel cloying or annoying depending on the scenario, but I don't feel that in Hellsing.
Ms J: Far from being annoying, the depictions of women feel unique and cool in their own way.
Ms A: You're right. Traditionally, female characters are accompaniments to the hero, aren't they? But Integra takes the lead, and while Seras is supported by those around her, she moves according to her own choices. Even among the female villains, they are given important roles that they carry out to the end, so you can read while feeling a sense of satisfaction.
Points you would recommend to other women
Ms T: Doesn't the series in general have a sort of sensuality?
Ms J: It does. As it gets nearer and nearer to the endgame, even the fight scenes show more tenderness. It's like a "They love each other, therefore they trade blows" vibe that feels erotic.
Ms R: When Alucard returned to London in volume 8, it felt pretty romantic.
Ms T: On the other hand, the explanations about weapon specs that pop up everywhere seem very male-oriented. I guess this is what you call the author's hobby.
Ms J: Speaking of the author's hobby, I feel like the fact that Walter is an old man is one of them. If you think about it purely in terms of reader appeal, there should have been no problem if Walter was young from the beginning. I get the impression that he was like, "If you're going to add a butler, it better be an old geezer". Ahh-- the more I reread, the more I feel like I discover new things.
Moderator: There is plenty more we weren't able to talk about, but to close us off, please appeal to the women who haven't read Hellsing yet as to why they should read the series.
Ms A: The female characters are so full of life, so why not give it a try mainly for the female characters?
Ms T: You can read it together with your boyfriend! There are lots of battles and weapons that guys would like, and there's no nasty relationship drama, so it might actually be a big hit among couples.
Ms J: "Look at Integra and Alucard, honey, they're just like us!" or something? (laughs)
Ms R: When you think of vampire media, you might be inclined to imagine something campy and whimsical. But even though there's a lot of absurdism at play, the world is based on real historical facts. So I want to recommend it broadly, even to those that don't normally enjoy fantasy.
Ms T: I feel like Hellsing is like a very strong liquor. At first you might feel that the taste is overwhelming, but once you get used to it, it becomes delicious.
Ms J: Please go in with zero expectations and give it a read.
Moderator: Thank you all for your time today!
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Link to the raw scans (which are not mine). Feel free to spread and repost my translation to other sites.
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humansofnewyork · 2 years
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(15/15) “I used to smoke sweet tips, because I thought they were feminine. But I’ve learned I like heavier cigars. I’ve learned a lot about myself these past few years. I was put in charge of hiring for our entire company. I’ve produced my own play. My bracelet is so full of charms that Garrison had to buy me another. And that one’s half-way full too. I downloaded a dating app for seniors, called Our Time. I said: ‘Lord, you designed the body. I’m losing my ever-loving mind, so I hope you understand.’ I just wanted to see what was out there. And let me tell you, there’s a lot out there. I’ve tried all the flavors: Bangladesh, Egyptian, Hispanic, African. The whole smorgasbord. I’ve dated about seventy men. And I’ve had four marriage proposals, because what I bring to the table is rich. But right now I’m on a little bit of a break from romance. I’m taking time with myself. But that’s a romance too. It’s a love that’s lacy. It’s light filtering through the leaves. It’s not harsh sun, but it’s oh-so-warm. For 55 years I never liked myself much. But now when I hear people describe me, I like that woman. I’ve worked hard on her. I might be a little quirky. Truth be told I’ve sat down and pondered if I’m batshit crazy. But I decided no, I just hover over crazy, then I flit away. Like a hummingbird. Back in Arkansas I’d hang out feeders for the hummingbirds. I’d watch em’ all day. So I don’t mind being hummingbird crazy. I can be colorful, and dance, and sing, and make mistakes. I’m not hurting anybody. I’m not taking anybody else’s oxygen. I’ve got my own space. In the evening I like to set my chair out on the sidewalk, turn on my Bluetooth speaker, light my cigar. I never just stick the fire to it. I go around all the edges, and let it breathe a little. Until there’s no dead spots. Until I’ve pulled all the life into the it. Then I sit back, take a deep breath, and watch Harlem walk by. I smoke slow. It’ll take me two hours to finish. And I’ve made myself a playlist that lasts just that long: Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Bruno Mars. Everything has an order. And when that last song starts playing, it’s time to go home. Al Greene. Put a Little Love In Your Heart.” Detra has been working hard her whole life, but she hasn't always been paid for it. And living in New York isn't easy when you're on your own. Detra can manage the day-to-day, but she hasn't been able to tuck anything away for the golden years. If you enjoyed her story and would like to help her breathe a little bit, please consider helping us build her a little bit of a cushion: https://bit.ly/helpdetrabreath
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wazzupmrstark · 5 months
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instead of you [part sixty] || th
pairing: [best friend’s brother] tom holland x college!reader
summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.
warnings: swearing, angst
word count: 3.1k
“How much longer until we reach it?”
“You’ve asked that six times in the past ten minutes!”
“That’s because no one’s given me an answer!”
“Because no one knows, Harry! None of us have hiked this path before.”
Harry grumbled something behind his brother’s back but he must not have heard it because he didn't argue further. 
The majority of the hike thus far had been uphill, something that the park rangers had neglected to mention when they sent you off into the forest. Thankfully, the mountains and canopy of trees provided some kind of shade but it was still scorching hot. And humid. And you were sweating like crazy. 
Everyone was. Tom had already taken his shirt off and Harry had completely sweat through his. That was probably why he was complaining so much. He refused to take it off, though. Something about not wanting to get sunburned again. 
“You doing okay?” Sam asked, looking over at you. 
The two of you had found yourselves in the middle of the pack for once, walking behind his parents and in front of his brothers. 
“Yeah, fine,” you answered, trying not to sound as out of breath as you felt. 
“Did you bring your inhaler?”
“Um...”
“Why do I even ask?”
-
After fifteen more minutes of walking and a bathroom break, you finally reached the waterfall. 
Harry sighed. “That’s it? We walked all this way for this?” 
“Shut up, Harry,” Sam snapped. “It just looks small from the bridge, it’s not actually that small.”
“I’d say it’s a pretty average size,” you added, “maybe even kind of big.”
Tom laughed behind you. Thankfully, his parents didn’t seem to hear your comment. To be fair to Harry, it wasn’t a huge waterfall. It certainly wasn’t the biggest waterfall in Hawai’i, but it was one of the few that visitors could swim under. That’s what made it so popular. 
And the bridge had made it look smaller than it really was. 
There was an area to rinse off before and after getting in the water so you all took turns under the showerhead. 
Nikki was the only one who didn’t want to swim, which meant that she was stuck with all of the bags. You felt sort of bad when Sam handed over the backpack you were sharing but Nikki assured you that it was fine, that she would rather hold them for you than have you rent one of the rusty lockers to store it in. 
Waimea Falls required everyone to wear a life jacket, regardless of swimming ability. You knew it was a liability thing but you still couldn’t help but shiver when you slung on the cold, wet vest and buckled it around your chest. Who knows how many people had worn it before you today.
Shoes were optional so you left your sandals in the gravel by the bleachers and tiptoed your way back over to the edge of the water. The boys did the same. 
The five of you stood there, staring at the rocks leading down into the lagoon, trying to figure out how to proceed without falling. It was hard to determine the best way in as all of the rocks that were big enough to step on were also either jagged and/or slippery.
“Ladies first,” Harry said unceremoniously.
You glared at him but decided to take a step down anyway. Someone had to go first and since everyone else was being a pussy it might as well be you. You moved at a snail’s pace, trying your best to move in a way that wouldn’t send you tumbling down the incline if you misstepped. 
The rocks seemed stable enough to hold your weight without sliding around in the mud but one of them wobbled under you upon stepping on it, making you nearly lose your balance. 
“Careful!” Sam and Tom shouted at the same time, causing you to turn around and make a face at them both. 
They traded weird looks with each other before turning their attention back to you, who had made significant progress toward the water. By the time you finally reached the edge, the boys had started trekking down behind you, much more haphazardly than you had. 
You extended your leg out in front of you to feel it out, trying not to scream when your toes grazed the water. It was freezing, way colder than you expected, but you knew it would feel incredible once you were fully submerged. It was one of if not the hottest days of the trip and you had sweat through everything. Even the life vest they’d saddled you with was beginning to feel sticky. 
“How is it?” Sam called from behind you. 
“Feels good!” you lied, not trusting yourself to turn around and show him your face. He’d know you were bluffing instantly. 
Since you didn’t want to hold up the line, you took a deep breath and pushed yourself off of the ledge, finding your footing with both feet in the water. The bed of the lagoon was also covered with rocks. They were more slippery than the ones on the path seeing as they were wet and covered with algae so you had to be extra careful. 
You moved away from the shore so that the boys could get in after you. 
“Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!” was Sam’s shout from behind you.
You turned back to see him submerged up to his waist. He apologized to the people around him for cursing before glaring at you. 
“You little brat!” he muttered, lunging at you.
You let out a yelp as the weight of your best friend dragged you under. You both emerged with dripping hair, laughing and sputtering. 
“You said it felt good!”
“It does! It’s refreshing!”
“It’s cold as fuck,” he muttered, “and you knew that.”
“What, can’t take a little chill?” you taunted.
He splashed you. 
“Are we going to swim over to the waterfall or what?” Tom’s voice echoed from behind you both, sounding annoyed. 
Sam smirked before turning around to face his older brother. 
“We don’t all have to go together. You could have gone on without us.”
Harry was the last to get in, gingerly stepping on the algae-covered rocks to make his way over to the three of you. Dom stayed by the edge, content to keep Nikki company from the water. He claimed to be too old to swim against the current just to get thousands of gallons of water dunked on him. 
“Let’s go, babe,” Sam said, jerking his head over his shoulder in the direction of the waterfall.
Swimming to the base of the waterfall proved to be a lot more difficult than it looked. The current was strong and moving against it required a lot of effort. People who weren’t strong swimmers had no chance of making it all the way under. 
It was doable for you, but not without struggle. The boys seemed to be in the same boat, save for Tom, who was the fittest out of all of you. He was already several strokes ahead of the rest of you when Sam called out for him to wait up. He paused and tread water while he waited for you and the twins to catch up. 
“I thought we were going together,” Harry panted bitterly. 
“Not my fault you guys are slow,” he rebutted. 
“Maybe we should hold hands,” Sam suggested and pointed to another family who was making significantly more progress. “They’re doing it.”
“You think that’s going to work?” you asked. 
“Yeah, how do we know you guys aren’t just going to hold me back?”
Harry clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Tom-”
“You could stand to pull some more way, Spider-man,” Sam pointed out.
“Tsk, fine. How should we do this?”
Tom obviously helmed the line. You were stuck between him and Sam, with Harry bringing up the rear. You didn’t argue about your place in the order but it did feel strange to be holding both Tom and Sam’s hands at the same time. You couldn’t tell whether they felt similarly but you had to assume they did. 
Tom tugged you along and you pulled Sam in turn. They held on to you tightly so as not to lose you in the tide. You tried to focus on keeping your head above the surface instead of the feeling of both of their hands in yours. 
Sam’s hand-holding strategy actually worked and you made it to the waterfall twice as fast as you would have on your own. 
Trying to get under the waterfall was another ordeal. The water pressure was so aggressive that you had to fight against the water in order to get up on the rocks right beneath the stream. 
“This kind of hurts!” Sam shouted over the roaring of the water. 
“Yeah, I think I’m getting bruises!” Tom agreed. 
“You guys are pussies!” you yelled, even though it did hurt and you wouldn’t be surprised if was bruising you. 
“I think Mum is trying to take a picture!” Harry screamed.
Automatically, all four of you posed even though you couldn’t see where Nikki was and you could barely open your eyes under the stream. You grabbed for Sam but got Tom instead, accidentally squeezing his ass in an effort to hold his hand. How you mixed up the person standing beside you and mis-approximated where their wrist was, you didn’t know, but you immediately let go once you realized your mistake and fumbled for the right person’s hand instead. 
If Sam noticed what happened, he didn’t say anything about it. Tom definitely did notice and you could see him trying not to laugh out of the corner of your eye. 
“Should we swim back now?” one of the boys, you weren’t sure which, asked after you had stood there for what felt long enough for their mother to have snapped a couple of photos. 
“You guys can, I think y/n and I are going to swim around by ourselves for a bit longer.”
That was news to you but you weren’t necessarily upset about it. You hadn’t been in the water for long anyway and you wanted to make the most of it. And if Sam wanted to be alone with you, you weren’t going to say no. 
Your number one priority was winning him back, making it up to him, as much as you could. 
You followed Sam to a secluded part of the pool, letting him tug you along as you floated on your back. Tom and Harry either got out or fucked off to another part of the lagoon. You weren’t paying attention when you split up and you weren’t about to look for them. 
“Did you want to talk about something?” you asked your best friend. 
“No, just wanted some space from my brothers.”
“Oh, ok.”
“Did you want to talk about something?” he parroted. 
You made a face. “No, unless you’ve changed your mind.”
You could tell he knew what you referring to immediately from the way his expression shifted. 
“Not here, yeah?”
You nodded in agreement. He was right, you should have that conversation somewhere private. Still, you took his answer as a good sign. ‘Not here’ implied that there was somewhere that you would have that conversation, which meant that he was willing to have it. You counted that as a win. A very small win, but a win nonetheless. 
“What?” Sam asked, squinting at you through the sunlight. 
“Huh?”
“What’s got you smiling like that? What’s on your mind?”
You hadn’t realized you were smiling until he pointed it out. 
“Just happy to be here with you.”
-
You had dinner at some famous burger place that night. You were too tired to pay much attention to what you were eating or what everyone was talking about but you’re pretty sure the food tasted good. 
The restaurant was in the middle of their dinner rush when your party arrived so you had to wait for a table. There was a small surf shop attached to the same building so you went with the boys to check it out while Nikki and Dom scoped out somewhere to sit. Everything was expensive so no one bought anything but window shopping kept you occupied for the time being. 
After dinner, you rode with Sam’s parents back to the resort. He seemed indifferent to your presence this time, which you took as another win. He held your hand in the back seat and you rested your head on his shoulder. Neither of you fell asleep but you kept your eyes closed, enjoying the silence.
“We’re here, kids,” Nikki said softly once Dom had parked in the lot.
Sam stretched, forcing you to sit up too. You thanked them for the ride, and for dinner since they paid, before Sam asked if you wanted to take a walk on the beach. 
“Sure, let’s go.”
He led you by the hand through the maze of buildings to the hotel’s beach entrance. You passed other couples as you strolled past the pool and the firepits and it made your heart sink a little. You were jealous of them. Jealous that they could enjoy each other’s company out in the open like that. Jealous that they looked so happy. Jealous that they weren’t sacrificing one relationship for another. 
You were definitely projecting, they absolutely could have been in the same situation as you and you would never know but you refused to acknowledge that possibility because you were resolute on feeling bitter. 
The sun hadn’t fully set yet despite the late hour. Being that it was still the middle of summer, it wouldn’t get dark until much later than usual. You were also convinced that daylight lingered longer in Hawai’i than it did in other places but you had no evidence to back that up. 
“Here, I’ll carry your shoes for you,” Sam offered, holding out his free hand for them. 
You paused. “Oh, are you sure?”
“Yeah, I know you don’t like the feeling of sand in your shoes.”
“Thank you.”
You bent down to undo your sandals and handed them to Sam. He looped the straps around two of his fingers and resumed holding your hand. 
The sand was still warm, holding on to the heat of the day. 
“Are we going all the way down to the water?” you asked. 
“If you want to,” Sam answered. 
“I don’t really feel like getting wet again.”
“That’s fine with me.”
You settled for walking along the outline of the tide where the sand was still dry. You followed the curves of the waves from hours past, tracing the remnants of high tide with your arms out like you were walking on a tightrope. Sam trailed behind you for a few moments before catching up with you again. 
You had pulled your hand out of his grasp moments earlier to run ahead, distracted by the seafoam in the distance. You waited for him and put your arms back by your sides. 
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to ditch you,” you sighed when he reappeared at your side. 
“I know,” he replied. 
Instead of offering you his hand this time, he gave you his elbow. You took it gently, resting your hand on his bicep. 
He was uncharacteristically quiet. You wondered what was on his mind. When he invited you down here, you thought it would be to talk, to finally have that conversation. Maybe it had been and he changed his mind. Or maybe it had never been his intention in the first place. 
You were starting to think you’d never get an answer when he finally spoke. 
“I’m sorry for what I said.”
You tensed but kept walking, not wanting to confront whatever expression might be on Sam’s face. If you stopped, you would have to look at him or stare at the ground. If you continued walking, you could just look straight. 
“I... didn’t mean that shit... about wishing I never met you. Or any of it really. I wanted to mean it. But I couldn’t, because none of it’s true. I was just really hurt. I still am, to be honest.”
“I understand,” you responded. 
“I want us to move past this,” he continued, “but it still feels really fresh. I mean, I only found out about you and Tom a few days ago.”
You nodded as you listened. He was right. It had only been a handful of days even though it felt like an eternity. Being at odds with Sam was hell. He was your best friend, after all. You had lived life with him by your side for the past four years. You didn’t want to imagine what that would look like without him. 
“Right.”
He cocked his head to the side, lost in thought. 
“I’m sorry too,” you added, wanting to reiterate just how shitty you felt about the whole thing. 
“I know,” he said softly. “I know you are. I knew you were then too. I’m sorry for invalidating your apology-”
“Don’t be!” you interrupted. “My actions and my words... they don’t add up. I would’ve thought I was bullshitting too.”  
Sam forced a laugh. “Yeah, it wasn’t easy to wrap my head around. But I get it, I think. There’s just something about Tom, isn’t there?” 
You snuck a glance at him but didn’t say anything. You had a feeling it was a rhetorical question. 
“You must have been miserable this whole time. Trying to push down your feelings for him and then finally acting on them but being consumed by guilt when you finally do.”
“It hasn’t been the best,” you admitted, “but it’s my own fault.”
“Not entirely,” Sam reasoned. 
You were surprised he was coming to your defense but you figured he’d go up to bat for anyone if it was against Tom. 
“Enough of it is.”
Your best friend shrugged. “I mean, it’s not like you’re known for your decision-making skills.”
You scoffed and nudged him with your shoulder. He laughed a real laugh for the first time in days. You had missed hearing it. It made you smile too. You rested your head on his shoulder and for once it felt natural. 
“I really am sorry, Sammy,” you sighed, your voice wavering. 
“I know. I can’t pretend that I’m over it... but I will be. I also know that I can’t ask you to end things with him...”
“You can-”
“No,” he murmured. “I can’t. You would resent me for it.” You opened your mouth to protest but Sam shook his head and you closed it again. “You would. Maybe unconsciously, but you would. Things wouldn’t be the same.”
“Things won’t be the same if I don’t end things with him,” you pointed out.
“I know,” he agreed solemnly. Then he sighed as if it was something he had already come to terms with. “But you’ll still love me the same. And that’s enough.”
this one made me emo to write but I hope you enjoyed it lmk what you think I always appreciate feedback!!
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