#and that is what i can't describe better than 'sometimes he feels small' and at time even maybe makes me cry a little | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quimichi · 2 months

Note

I Read Your Twisted Wonderland 'When You Wake Him Up With Nonsense" and Wanted To Ask If We Can Get One With The Staff(With Staff!Reader) and RSA(With RSA!Reader)? 🥺

Feel Free To Ignore😭

Love You❤️ And Have a Great Day!

"=⌕ YOU WAKE HIM UP WITH NONSENSE / pt. 2

⌕ pt. 1 here

warnings: bad writing, as usual, some characters may seem ooc, I apologize, pet names, some might dislike those

summary: You wake him up in the middle of the night with some nonsense

characters: RSA, NRC Staff and Rollo x GN!Reader

word count: 1,995

a/n: some are shorter or longer, it's just that I find some characters hard to write or I write them like I view them :) I HOPE YOU ALSO HAVE A VEEEERY NICE DAY TOO!

Chenya

The sound of your voice draws his attention to you. His breath hitches as he tries to stay asleep. He does not respond, instead he remains still as a statue. It is as if he wants to hear every word you have to say. And he wants to keep sleeping.

"Chenya, Chenya, Chenya, Chenya...Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker." Your voice cuts through the quiet. Your words pull him out of a dream.

He opens his eyes, and he looks straight at you and whines. "Why you gotta pull my full naaaaame...jus' wanna sleeeep..." "Yesterday I saw a motorcycle on the sun kissing the curtains in a cow." He blinks, utterly baffled by your words. His brow furrows and he is at a complete loss with how to respond. Finally, he settles on a simple and tired, "Wha-?" "What I said." You are utterly illogical. It makes it nearly impossible for him to comprehend you.

Your mind is fascinating, weird. You're fucking dumb sometimes.

His lips twitch upwards. That's why he loves you.

"You make no sense, ya know." He signs hard, rubbing his eyes. "And ya woke me up for that bullshit...you gotta pay me back, you better."

Neige

The sound of your voice is so familiar, and the words hit him like a wave of cool air while he's asleep. His body shifts as he starts to respond in the depths of his sleep.

"Wha-" He starts to say, his words faltering on the cusp of waking. "Cutie are you...is everything okay?" he asks groggily, a bit of sleep still clinging to him. If he could blush in his slumber, he would have been scarlet in shame for how his words slurred and garbled on his tongue. He slowly sits up, looking more worried than ever.

"I just saw a chicken picking up McDonald's at the gas station for detention." The words catch him off-guard once more, and he stares at you with a small confused smile on his face. He tries to process what you've said, but finds it impossible without more explanation.

His mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, and he tilts his head to the side, looking way to adorable for his own good. His confusion soon gives way to a brief chuckle, and he smiles widely and nods, still processing your words.

"That's such a nice story!...You should tell me the ending tomorrow though..." and with that he pulls you back against him and pets your head gently before both of you fall back asleep. He's still confused tho...

Rollo

He begins to stir, slowly waking to consciousness. His eyes dart around the room, his vision blurred and unfocused as he sits up. "Mmm, yes?" Rollo could never be mad if you woken him up for a reason, a good reason.

"I forgot to tell you that the telephone told me about the flying elephant with rainbow eyes and silver shoes." Rollo raises one eyebrow at first, thinking you're playing a trick on him. The joke is too outlandish to be real. Even this is to stupid for you.

But seeing that you're serious, he has no idea what to say. He is speechless. Oh...so you are that dumb huh? At this point the lord can't save him anymore.

"Is...that so?" he finally asks. "Yes!" Rollo stares at you incredulously as you continue. Every detail you describe is nonsensical and unrealistic. But his gaze remains firmly fixed on yours, and his thoughts are blank.

He struggles to understand why you woke him up. Is this a game? He is utterly puzzled. And his annoyance is starting to seep in. But the look in your eyes is magnetic, and it is difficult for him to hold his frustration. He sighs, "You...you are truly one of a kind, are you aware of that?" But Rollo can't help but smile at you, you just had to turn his life upside down, huh?

Crowley

He stirs slightly, his eyes blinking slowly open. He opens his mouth to speak, but then he realizes you are next to him and closes it again. His expression is soft and delicate, like your presence is a beacon of light in the darkness, and all he can focus on is you. You'd be surprised, moments of his adoration aren't that rare.

"What is it?" he asks with a slight yawn, his voice still soft and sleepy. "So like, I cooked us a clock with sprinkles of snow and the clock then when away with the pan because of their date at the baseball doctor." In spite of his tired mood, he bursts into laughter. A hearty, full-bellied laugh that only he would be so amused by such ridiculous, nonsensical statements.

"Ah, my love. It seems you have discovered the wonders of a dream," the headmaster chuckles, running his fingers curiously through your hair. For a moment he ponders about what other kinds of nonsense you would utter, if this is what your brain conjures just during your sleep.

He chuckles again in amusement. "Do go on," he encourages you, still looking through you with a light in his eyes. "Did the clock turn into a frog? Did the frog wear green boots and sing rock songs in kitchen utensils?" He's amused, but he also wants to know.

Crewel

As you call to him, you can see his eyelids twitch underneath. Your voice seems to permeate his dreams. There is no immediate answer as his eyes flutter in a way that seems to indicate that he's trying to force himself awake but still struggles to do so. He turns onto his back, his head tilting towards the sound of your voice. After a moment, he finally manages to open his eyes with a low groan. His hand reaches for his forehead and rubs it, as though he's suffered from a particularly intense headache. But once he sees you, he stops, his eyes brightening at the sight of your face.

All the weariness seems to leave him in an instance, yet not entirely. He manages a smile for you. "Puppy?..." "I just ate a singing pizza who told me the story of the bees and the snakes who danced underwater." "Ah..." Divus manages a confused hum. It takes him a moment as he seems to try and work it out in his head.

"They danced in...underwater?" He asks, voice soft. "Underwater...is a body of water...but...how does one..." he looks away from you as he attempts to picture the scenario. After a moment, he shakes his head, chuckling softly into his palm. "No matter. That is quite a tale, indeed my pup."

Divus draws you close and wraps his arms around you, burying his face into your shoulder and hugging you tightly. His breath is hot against your neck, his muscles tensing underneath. "Sleep..." he mumbles softly, his voice seeming to get thicker as a low growl rumbles from his chest.

"Or does my pup want to keep being disobedient?"

Trein

(Solid grandpa issues ya'll have here)

It is almost as you say his name that his eyes blink quickly. They become wide and concerned. "Dearest?" he whispers with a hint of urgency in his voice. Though his expression turns gentle as he notices you aren't hurt or sick. His shoulders relax. "Yuu, have you not been feeling well?" Mozus asks, his voice a soothing melody. After a moment, he sits up. The bed creaks with the weight of his shifting body. Even Lucius wakes up from his slumber to tip tap his way over to your shared bed.

"Did you perhaps catch a cold? I could fetch some medicine if you would like." He doesn't want to see you in pain, not even for a moment. Oh, how caring he can be sometimes..."My hair turned purple because I washed it with dirt in the afternoon 13 years ago on a full red moon at midnight."

Silence hangs in the air as you speak. Mozus's expression remains concerned; worried. And then it turns into a frown. "Ah... You must've hit your head. Or else you wouldn't speak of such nonsense" he says. Though he tries to conceal it, a flicker of irritation flashes across his eyes. Your sudden statements seem to have sparked his annoyance.

"Or are you perhaps playing a childish prank on me at unholy hours?" he asks sharply, tone becoming stern. "If there is nothing else you require, I believe you've wasted enough of your time together." He tries to keep his voice neutral, but is obviously still slightly peeved at your game. "I-Im sorry..." His anger melts at your apology. His face melts back to a soft expression as he pulls you into his arms. His voice returns to its soothing tone as he presses his lips to yours.

When he pulls away, only seconds later, there's a content smile on to his lips. "Do not apologize," he says softly, voice quiet. Yet you feel a surge of pleasure run through your body. You feel almost as light as a feather once again. "I'm happy you're in best condition."

Vargas

Ashton jolts awake as he hears your voice, immediately rising into a defensive stance as he looks at you. Protectively he stands before the bed frantically looking around for potential danger with both his fists up, ready to punch whatever lurks in your shared bedroom.

"It's okay! Is there something wrong? Are you hurt?!" he asks anxiously but wild as he still holds his position. "Wha--no?!" He reacted so fast you couldn't keep up. "Oh...!" Asthon blinks a few times as he seems to calm himself. He lowers his fists, though now he seems completely at a loss for words. He stares at you blankly.

"That is good," he clears his throat, clearly embarrassed about the situation, "very good, yes " he offers a small smile, though you can sense him struggling to gather himself. "...so I woke up because the curtains were running away from a wild toaster." Ashton blinks a few times, processing this information. He seems to ponder it for a moment and then... bursts out into laughter.

It's a loud sound, like a true suburban father laugh. It's a sound of complete delight. Though, it doesn't take him too much effort to bring himself back. "Ah... yes," he says, "Wild toasters. They are very problematic." He lets himself sink into bed again, and like before, you're to slow to react. Because the moment his head hits the pillow, he's gone. Snoring the night away...

Sam

"Hm?" The mighty lord stirs in his sleep. He pulls the sheets tighter around him, his body twitching in his sleep. The sound of his name being uttered by you seems to have broken through his slumber. "Wake uuuup~!" "Hm?" Sam finally looks up at you, his eyes barely open. They seem to focus on you, taking a moment to adjust to the darkness of the room before he finally smiles. "Impy...?" He speaks in the softest of whispers, his voice almost hoarse as though it had been a while. "Did my friends wakw you...or...was it my snoring?"

"My shampoo ran out cause the towel used it for their skincare routine." "Ah..." He sits up, his expression still weary from sleep. Before you can even tell him to stop, he's already risen from the bed. He's practically half-asleep as he waddles towards the shop and comes back with a bottle of shampoo in hand.

He doesn't question you or the strange request at all. "There you go," he holds up a bottle of shampoo. "Only the best for my little imp, and since its you...its on the house" he says, although he looks like he's in a trance he does smirk at you.

"Thank...you?" You question as you take the bottle from his hands. Before you know it he drops face first into bed, "But...if ya need anythin' else...get it yourself...alright?" he mumbles into the pillow.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland headcanon #twisted wonderland x reader #chenya x reader #neige x reader #rollo x reader #crowley x reader #crewel x reader #trein x reader #vargas x reader #sam x reader #nrc staff #Ncr staff x reader

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queer-n-here · 1 month

Note

UHM-UHM-

Yeah I have no shame to just not ask anonymously- anyways!

May I please request a 6'1 reader who is stoic, bold, also handsome as Dazai but ain't a womaniser, and is VERY quiet. With Dazai. He works at the ADA with him. He follows Dazai around like literally, he acts and opens up more to Dazai than he does with others, he literally doesn't care if Dazai was In the pm (they met at 14) or abt his crimes, he can read Dazai's emotions And can see through him, they R lovers, he is loyal asf to Dazai. He Also is rich asf and has better fashion tastes! Pls make both a oneshot or hc or ANYTHING ABT THEMMMMM

(I'm very desperate BC of a certain fantasy of mine)

Ah, I gotchu you bruv.

[ Also, let's do a little quiz. What country do y'all think I originate from? Like, based on my language and writing and just... Yeah.]

And yep, I'm double posting today!

Canonically, there are no mentions of Dazai's past before the Port Mafia, so I made stuff up. Hope you like it!

Contents: Uhh...a lot. I got... *winces* I got carried away.

Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of death, suicide and violence, Dazai's life is sad and so are these hcs.

You and Dazai met when you two were 14 each. It was a chance encounter, really. Both of you were orphans, and both of you were ability users, even though Dazai knew more about his ability than you did yours.

Both of you currently had no one in the world. That was the key factor that brought you two together. Struggling to get by and find a place of your own in the world, you met.

Neither of you opened up at first, cautious and calloused as you both were. It just happened; it didn't happen one particular day, and before you two had realized, you'd become each other's sole support.

You turned fifteen, and three months later Dazai met Mori.

He told you about it later, describing in the sort of detail no one else would get to hear how he'd rescued the Port Mafia leader from an enemy gang, unintentionally impressing him and securing Dazai a place in the Mafia.

You didn't like it. The job was dangerous, and you didn't want Dazai's hands to get stained with blood. When you told him this, he laughed it off, and said that he could handle it. You dropped the matter.

He was wrong.

You watched as Dazai changed, despite his promises and assurances. He grew ruthless, cruel in a way that made you ache as you watched him, silent. He started hating everything, even himself, and sometimes you thought he hated you, too.

He had a beautiful heart, you knew. But Mori was destroying it.

You talked to Mori about it, too. You might not have anything on him, yes, he was richer and way more powerful, but you had your ability, and you were ready to fight to death. Before you could, however, Dazai intervened.

That was the first time you two fought. After that, you went to him and told him you wouldn't care if he didn't want you to. If he wanted to keep going down the path that he'd chosen, you wouldn't stop him.

Sometimes, you look back and wonder if there was something you could have done for him other than what you did. You still can't think of anything.

You opened up a small business after that, and it slowly grew to a scale larger than you had expected.

Then you two turned eighteen. Finally, you were able to register your enterprises under your own name, being a legal adult. You and Dazai got wasted that night, and you watched fondly as he tried and failed to put his coat on so you two could go and meet Ango and Odasaku.

They had probably begun then, your feelings for Dazai. You were only comfortable enough with him to actually talk, and not just say what was absolutely required and then shut up.

He knew you in a way no else did. No one else knew what it looked like when you smiled, or threw your head back and laughed freely. No one else knew what it was like when you cared, when you brought over Dazai's favorite refreshing drink every time you visited him in summer. Or when you helped him change his bandages, touch gentle and careful against his soft skin.

And you knew him the way no else did. No one else knew what it was like when he was genuine, when he'd look up at you with earnest eyes. No one else knew what it was like when he flushed slightly, the red of his skin always starting from the tips of his ears and descending to his cheeks. No one else knew what it was like when Dazai protected, when he offered to use his contacts in the Mafia to get rid of your competitors, even though you declined every time. He had enough blood on his hands without you pitching in.

Eight months after that, he left the Port Mafia. He came to your apartment crying that day. His face was ashen, his shirt was covered in blood and his lips were trembling. The tears that had been collecting in his eyes for who knows how long finally spilled when he saw you, and the only thing you could do for him in that situation was open your arms and let him cling onto you. He kept saying 'Oda's dead... He's dead...'

That night, Dazai changed. Thankfully for the better. That flame in his eyes was gone now, the one that made you worry if he would burn himself and the world.

Dazai slowly stopped hating after that. You and Ango were the only two he trusted, the only two he would be genuine with. He didn't close up in a way that hid his smile, or in a way that made him withdraw from people. Quiet the opposite. He pushed himself outward, adopting a cheery persona that joked around and bewitched everyone.

The only smiles that weren't created but slid across his face on their own were ones that he smiled with you, and Ango.

You couldn't help but feel slightly bittersweet. Dazai was out of that hellhole, that cursed gang that was making his heart black. But Odasaku was dead.

After that, as your twenties arrived, Dazai joined the Armed Detective Agency. You were happy, then.

You two celebrated at a lavish restaurant. Your business had grown to be Japan's No. 1, and the money that spilled in with it was something neither Dazai nor you had expected.

But your hopes for the ADA were too high. Sometimes, Dazai still wanted to leave. He said he wanted to kill himself, and even though he would always laugh it off, you couldn't help but notice that his eyes would always grow hollow when he spoke of it.

And so the only thing you could do was love him. You loved him and tried your best to let him know, buying him unnecessary gifts and putting him on top of your mental priority list. Even your staff knew you loved him; it was apparent and obvious.

Dazai was probably the only one that didn't notice it, that genius dumbass.

And so you tried harder. You had never been good with words, but you tried to be vocal about your feelings, telling him he was cute when you thought so, and saying that he looked good when he did.

Dazai still didn't notice. The day he found out was when you got drunk and blurted it out.

You still don't have a lot of memories from that night, and Dazai says that you passed out soon after confessing. He finds it funny now, even though he didn't back then.

Your confession made Dazai pull up a wall against you. This surprised you, hurt you, and you tried apologizing, tried to get him to just talk to you. You told him that it didn't matter if he didn't return your feelings.

Something was hurting Dazai, you could tell. But he just wouldn't talk to you, going so far as to changing his phone number without telling you.

So you showed up at his workplace. Kunukida knew you by sight; you often came to pick Dazai up from work. You two had a big fight, shouting in one hallway of the agency building, making such a ruckus that Ranpo and the others came over to watch.

It ended with Dazai turning around to leave, and you were planning to let him go. But then you saw a tear glisten at his cheek last moment, and hence gave chase.

You chased him down all the way from Yokohoma to Kawasaki, only stopping when Dazai collapsed in the middle of a street, his frame shaking with sobs as he started hyperventilating. You crouched down beside him and pulled him to your chest, rubbing his back and conducting his breathing, your voice soft as it told him to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale....

He fell asleep on your shoulder, in the middle of nowhere. You carried him back to your house, and tucked him into a warm bed. The next morning, he wouldn't meet your eye.

Usually, you would have let him; there was hardly anything that Dazai would do that you would disapprove of. But lately, you had been going against his wishes a lot, so you decided to do that one more time.

When he tried to leave, you pinned him to a wall and forced him to look at you. It wasn't difficult, Dazai had never really worked out, even as a part of the Port Mafia. His fighting style was more quick and clean moves than brute strength.

It worked well in your advantage as he tried to struggle against your hold and failed miserably, tears collecting in his eyes and threatening to fall.

It was alright after that. You asked Dazai why he tried to run away, and the only thing he said was that he got scared. He chose not to explain, and you chose not to push him.

"Dazai," You said. "If you want me to disappear from your life, I can do that." He looked up at you, eyes wide and blurred. "But there's one catch. You have to say it. Say it to my face, tell me to leave, and I swear on my own life, I'll vanish. You won't ever see me again." And then the tear that had been collecting in his eye all this time fell, sliding down his cheek and onto the collar of his shirt. His arms went limp in your hold, and he wobbled forwards. You caught him as he fell, and he sobbed into your shoulder again. His hands were clutching at your shirt as if for dear life, and even as you rubbed his back, more tears fell from his eyes. You held Dazai through his breakdown. The next time he spoke to you, he said the words, "I like you too much." It was a silent confession, almost muffled into your shoulder as the post-crying exhaustion overtook. You pulled him closer and pressed a kiss into his temple.

Now, everything is good. Dazai's job at the ADA does worry you sometimes, even if it's for the good, it's dangerous, but you know he loves his job, no matter how many jokes he makes about Fukuzawa's violation of the Labor Laws. And he loves you, that's all you've ever needed.

Being in a relationship with him is not always easy. He still speaks of dying, and the thought of him leaving you makes you panic. Sometimes, you still don't know what to do to make him feel better. But you manage to work through it.

You love Dazai, after all. You have ever since you two were kids.

#dom male reader #top male reader #dom reader #bungou stray dogs #sub bsd x you #sub bsd #bsd x you #sub bungou stray dog x you #sub bungou stray dogs #sub character #sub character x you #sub dazai #sub dazai x you #sub osamu dazai x you #sub osamu dazai

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thestarlithideout · 29 days

Text

Sick Day ~ Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Requested: No Requests are: Open!

Summary: Anakin sneaks in to take care of you after you aren't at training one day.

Warnings: Language, fluff, being sick

A/n: Transferred from my wattpad account with the same name.

There are numerous synonyms for the word cold. Chilly, cool, brisk, crisp, bitter, frosty, frigid, bone-chilling, icy, raw, freezing, frozen. Not to mention the ones with more than one word to them. Biting cold, frozen down to the bone, deep freeze, extreme cold, etc, etc, etc.

But not one of them felt like the right word to describe the kind of cold you were feeling. The kind of cold that made you wonder if you would ever feel the sun on your face, the warm spring air as you raced around the deserted lands of some random planet. Perhaps that might work. But words like warmth, spring, and sun all give you this nonsensical feeling of hope, this feeling of warmth inside you. Even if there is no real hope to actually become warm on the outside.

The freezing air crept its way under your skin, injecting you with the biting feeling of thousands of icy shards that would soon make their way to the very depths of your soul, to kill you and leave you to rot in misery and the agonizing truth that you may never be anything but cold ever again.

This would work better. But it still was not accurate enough. The kind of cold you were feeling was much more intense and spirit crushing than you could put into words.

But perhaps the reason for this is because not only were you physically cold. But also because you were mentally alone. Not physically alone. You could never truly be alone, there would always be someone or another just waiting around a corner for you.

The words to describe loneliness were much more bountiful. Deserted, desolate, destitute, forsaken, empty, isolated, lonesome, recluse, anti-social, comfortless, companionless, rejected, renounced, outcast, estranged. Et cetera. Et cetera. Et cetera.

All you wanted was someone to hold you. To be there.

Someone must have noticed your absence, because a knock came at your door. Which in an odd way made you feel less alone. Perhaps it was because you made enough of an impact, however small it may be, that someone noticed you were gone.

You nearly rolled of the bed, sniffing along the way, blanket wrapped around you so tight it was hard to walk. You opened the door a crack and peeked through. You saw it was Anakin, Obi-Wan Kenobi's Padawan. You were Dar Jorell's Padawan. Though both you and Anakin would soon be facing the Trials, despite him being a year older than you. "Yes?" You asked, clearing your throat.

"I noticed you weren't in training today, I came to see if you were okay." He said, glancing at the messy room behind you. It was littered in paper and books that you had gotten on missions. But aside from the usual stuff, there was a near overflowing trash can of tissues next to your bed. "Are you okay?" You could hear the amusement in his voice.

"I'm sick and I'm cold." You mumbled, leaving the door open while you walked back over to your bed, blanket still draped over your shoulders. You laid down on your side, closing your eyes. You weren't exactly sure why you left the door open. Or why you decided to open up to Anakin all those months ago, about your family Sen your past. You could remember snippets of them from when you were a toddler. Normally no one was able to. But you opened up and told Anakin that sometimes you miss them. Sometimes you feel lonely because you miss them.

You aren't sure what made you tell him that. Just like you can't exactly narrow it down to an exact reason for leaving the door open. Did you want him to come in? To sit with you? Did you just not want to close it? Did it feel rude to shut it?

"Can I come in? Do you need anything?" Yes. That's the reason you left the door open. You wanted him to stay with you.

"Of course you can come in," came your muffled voice through your comforter. "I don't need anythin'."

He stepped into your room, and you squinted through your eyes at him, watching him turn the knob as he closed the door. He turned around to face you, and you squeezed your eyes shut again. "Actually, on second thought, can you get me some medicine. I have a killer headache."

He nodded, humming a yes. "In your bathroom?"

You confirmed and gestured to the door across your room. He disappeared into it for a moment and a minute later he walked back in with two pills in hand. "This is right?" He asked, holding the palm of his hand facing you.

"Yeah, thank you Anakin." You took the pills from him and swallowed them with some water. He sat at the edge of your bed as you wrapped the blankets around yourself once more.

"Are you still cold?" He asked after a second. You just nodded, closing your eyes. After a moment, you heard him moving around on the bed, felt the mattress dipping down behind you. His arms wrapped around your waist and instead of being alarmed you just sunk right into the heat of his body. He was like your own personal furnace, one arm draped over your waist while the other is under your head. Your body melded against his, you scooted back into him, pulling him closer if at all possible, so you could soak up any more of his warmth. You kicked the blanket off of you and scooted yourself closer to Anakin. You were thankful there was nothing dividing you from him now. Nothing dividing you from warmth.

He squeezed you tight for just a second as you grabbed the hand that was under your head. "Wait, I don't want you to get sick too." You cautioned. The only thing that would suck worse than having one soon-to-be Jedi down, would be having two of them sick. With the same thing. That would lead to certain implications.

"I'll be fine. I promise you. And if not, you'll be there to warm me up." He spoke and it tickled your neck. His head was buried into the back of your neck, nose touching, and close enough that when he spoke his lips touched. It sent chills down your spine for reasons you were trying to ignore.

"Of course I will."

---

When you woke up the next morning, you were turned around and facing Anakin's chest. But he wasn't sleeping, he was awake. Awake and currently angry. Arguing with someone, but trying to be as quiet as possible. You lay there, trying to hear what the conversation was about.

"Anakin, the Jedi are not supposed to form attachments." You recognized the voice, but the only reason you were completely sure that it was Obi-Wan Kenobi is because he is the only one that Anakin occasionally listens to.

"That isn't what happened with you and Satine, is it? From what you told me you were pretty attached to her." Anakin accused. You almost laughed.

"Anakin. How many times have I told you to stop bringing her up. We could get in serious trouble." Obi-Wan raised his voice.

"Quiet." Anakin whispered, wrapping an arm around you. "She had a headache last night and she is asleep."

"Anakin, this girl is a nice girl, I'm sure. But you need to be more careful. You can't be careless like this, especially if you said she doesn't know." You eyes shot open, but quickly closed again. You hoped your body didn't go as stiff as it felt.

"Damn it, Obi-Wan. You've woken her up." You pretended to shift, opening your eyes slowly. You were feeling much better this morning, at least. You stretched and hugged Anakin good morning. Hopefully your act was convincing. You pretended to notice him looking behind you, and looked over your shoulder. Your eyes went wide as you caught sight of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Uhm, hi." You said in a meek voice.

"Hello there." He responded in a somewhat smug sounding voice.

"How are you?" You asked, stretching out the last syllable. All you wanted to do was turn back around and hide.

"I'm doing fine. Other than the fact that I just caught you two sleeping in the same bed. I'm just glad I didn't walk in on anything else." Your mouth dropped open and you hurried to correct him.

"I- We- Nothing of the sort happened." You said, flustered. You sat up next to Anakin, and grabbed his hand for support. "He came to see me because I wasn't in training yesterday because I wasn't feeling well and then I asked him to get me some medicine, and he noticed I was cold so he laid down. Now I'm warm." You rushed out. Anakin stayed quiet and oddly still, his hand still holding yours.

Obi-Wan simply laughed. "You're so clueless." You scoffed, offended. Who was he to talk? He doesn't know you, you are not clueless.

"Alright, that's enough." Anakin sits up, still clinging to your hand. "Nothing happened. She was sick and I fell asleep. Calm down. It isn't a big deal."

Obi-Wan raised his hands in defeat, backing off. He waved a goodbye to you, and left after shutting the door.

"Are you feeling better?" Anakin asked, facing you, but you were facing forward.

"What don't I know?" You questioned in a quiet voice.

"What?"

"Your master was saying something about me not knowing something. He said, 'especially if she doesn't know.' What don't I know?" You hoped that it would be what you thought it was.

"You heard." It wasn't a question. "What else did you hear?"

"You brought up a woman named Satine. And you never denied that you had grown attached to me." You cursed your bad wording in your head.

"Satine. She's a part of Obi-Wan's past that I shouldn't have brought up. And I couldn't deny it or I would have been lying." He dropped your hand, instead favoring to mess with his fingers instead.

"Are you that fucking stupid?"

His head snapped up at that. "What?"

"You think that I would have let you sleep in my bed, or get my medicine, or lay down with me had I not grown attached to you myself?" You had to remind yourself to be quiet, so Obi-Wan didn't have a reason to come back.

It was deadly silent in the room now. "Anakin." You didn't know what you wanted to say but you knew you and to say something. "What happens now?"

"I kiss you." You look over at him as he says it, your eyes wide in shock. He pulled you to him as your lips met. You weren't sure what to do with your hands for a second, so they were just laying there on his chest while you were in absolute bliss. His hand moved to cup your cheek, and the other settled on your lower back so he could pull you closer.

The feel of his lips against yours was heaven, they were soft and comforting as only he could be. You eventually moved your hands to tangle in his hair as he deepened the kiss. You pulled away when you needed to stop. Instead you laid your forehead against his, and the hand that was on your cheek moved to trail down the side of your arm. It traced all over your body, he was just trying to memorize every beautiful thing about you. And to him, that was absolutely everything.

"So what happens after this?" You smile at him, just barely peeking through your eyelids.

"Hopefully we do this again." You snorted at him, which turned into a full belly laugh. Laughing at all the things. Anything really.

What's amazing about this entire process is that the word love has no synonyms that truly live up to the meaning of the word. Not affection, not cherish, not fondness. Nothing truly lives up to the word love. It gives you that feeling of warmth and hope in the pit of your stomach.

Now because of the somewhat accurate description of the cold, now you are left with an even more accurate and much more complete description if everything you are feeling.

There are icy places. Cold places that seem to swallow you whole. Cold wants to seep into your skin, to burrow itself deep inside you and inject you with icy shards of freezing glass that will tear your soul to shreds. But after that, there is a warmth. The best kind of warmth. A warmth that melts the shards and protects your soul. That is the warmth you feel now.

Masterlist

#anakin smut #anakin x reader #anakin fluff #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker smut #anakin x you #anakin skywalker x reader #rots #hayden christensen

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1vy-ofthevall3y · 23 days

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/1vy-ofthevall3y/744658924283805696/fuck-you-wont-understand-how-his-intelligence?source=share

This gives a idea! Can you do reader is telling their type like what kind of guy they like and reader is describing chishiya's personality (intelligent , hot lol) later chishiya realise it and started teasing the reader?? Thank you!

warning: fluff!. lower case. took place in the jack of heart game.

a/n: tbh, i feel i'm bad at writing a full one like this. but thanks for the idea and request

you and chishiya are casually wandering around the cafeteria of the prison, taking the biscuit he found that is better than every other one here. your sigh beside him caught his attention, glanced over at you for a moment then back at the pack of snacks in his hand.

"something's bothering you?"

thought you were feeling anxious over the game, it's been filled with manipulation since the second round. you have no idea who the jack is, yet, and chishiya's already had some suspicions in his mind. and your eyes were secretly on him all the time on this round.

"nothing... just some personal problems."

personal problems, huh?

"hm."

he hummed acknowledged, having an urge to know what's on your mind right now. it's not that he doesn't care about what people think, he's actually even curious about it sometimes, then at the end, he chose to ignore it, because it's not his problem, or something he's interested in. but this time, it's you, so why not take this moment as an advantage to know you more?

"...mind telling me?"

"what?" you look up at him.

"personal problems." he holds the snack by his side, stuck one of his hand into his pocket and turned to face you, stare back at your confused eyes.

"oh." you feel surprised when he asks you if you want to share it with him, which is kinda out of his character.

he rarely gets into small talks, you noticed. both you and kuina back when you're still at the beach, always gossip about everything that you guys found interesting and funny. chishiya's just listen, or mostly, ignore all the talks and think about the plan to get out of here with you and kuina.

oh, how you missed kuina and her humourous. you still remember when she asked you if you have any type of man you like, and it's still bothering you until now. you used to go on dates with guys before getting into the borderland, some of them may have your interest, but still, not able to reach your heart. clearly, they just not what you expect them to be your... actual type. until you meet him.

"i was thinking that i may have figured out what my type is." you shrugged, looking away.

"your type?" he tilted his head slightly, growing interest at this side of yours.

"type of man, yeah." you sighed, "it's just... i used to don't know what exactly my type is, it's been bothersome to me. it was just so confusing, i even tried to go on date with some guys, and no second date happens after then, all of that just to figure out what kind of man i'm into."

chishiya remains silent after you've done telling him your thoughts, makes you feel like you may be too talkative for him, or makes him feel uncomfortable. can't blame you cause you're used to having kuina by your side every time you talk.

as you were about to apologise, and asked him if it's a little too much for him to hear, he cut you right before you can.

"what's your type then?"

"...huh?" you're confused again, it's strange when he wants to know it.

"you said you may have figured it out, so there must be someone who caught your interest, or even have your heart, i suppose?" he almost chucked at your confused face, finding it quite adorable. you must be surprised when he suddenly even cares about your 'personal problem'.

'it's you.'

it's like he can read through your inner self. you can't tell him that it's him who you found you're attractive to. so you have to choose words carefully, to describe him without him realising.

"well. i guess it's about being confident, independent, calm, have perfect plans..., and hot...? uh... being intelligent and outsmarts everyone around him would be perfect for me..."

yeah fuck. too detailed. should've think thoroughly before saying it.

at this point, you already feel your cheeks starting to burn at your own words. did he know that you were just describing him?

"...i think i know this guy." he narrowed his eyes and raised an eyebrow, commenting on your 'type'.

oh! so he thought it was someone el-

"actually, i know that i know him pretty well." his voice sounds playful as his lips curled up, smirking at you.

oh.

you immediately understand what he means by that look as you widen your eyes, dumbfounded. he... realised.

"don't even think about it." you were just opened your mouth as he warned you before you could deny your feelings for him, which would be a huge lie if you do.

he looks at you up and down, then right at your face, that eyes of yours before it darted away from his, that little blush. it's all too familiar for him.

so it was right. his theory all along, about your feelings for him, was right. he takes your silence as an agreement to his conclusion, and starts to tease you.

"don't think that i didn't notice your stare on me, or how you avoid my eyes, and hide that little blush whenever i look at you a bit too long." he calmly stated, enjoying how shy you're looking right now, knowing he's the only one who could easily makes you like this.

widened your eyes as you turn to face him, not noticing when your lips parted slightly at his statement. all this time, you thought he was just caring about his plans and strategies for these games and being an emotionless, cold man, turned out you were just making yourself a fool.

"so you do know about my feelings all along!" you furrow at the realisation, can't believe you just exposed yourself like that.

"oh sweetheart, you're the one who's willing to tell me your feelings." he chucked.

this is when you immediately regret opening up yourself to him, you may feel relieved whenever you blur out what's bothering your mind at the moment with your close friends, like kuina, but now you hate yourself for that.

you groan and cross your arms, not looking at his 'winning' face anymore. but not for so long when you have to look back at him after his next unexpected words.

"you know, i don't feel annoyed when your type is me, in fact," he leaned closer to your ear until you could feel his warm breath on your skin.

"...i wanted it to be true."

he leans back and meets with your big, round eyes, looking straight into you with a smirk on his face, still being close to you. he makes sure to take in everything into his mind and never forget this moment.

you stare at him for a few more seconds before getting out of your flustered mind and rolling your eyes, slightly pressing your lips together.

"shut up." you muttered, pressed the palm of your hand on his lips and pushed his face far from your already like a tomato face, turned back and walked away from him with his laugh leaving behind before you could turn yourself into an actual idiot with his teases.

"hey, i think i know my type too! wanna hear it?" he shouted from behind and slowly followed your steps, not going to end this little joy, knowing that soon he will have to soothe you for his teases.

well, at least it's not a waste of time to listen to this, and the most important thing is that he knows that you have a crush on him, too.

#chishiya x reader #chishiya x you #aib x reader #chishiya x y/n #chishiya fluff #aib chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya

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selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 13 days

Text

Anime Convention (feat. someone real). Interlude I

Self-Aware! Ayatsuji Yukito x GN! Reader

Description of Interlude I:

Cats can be mischievous thieves. And, sometimes, they could steal something interesting.

Ayatsuji try to make sense of what he has learned and take a trip down the memory line.

🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️

For Ayatsuji Yukito, self-awareness was a blessing. For Ayatsuji Yukito, Real World is big and unexplored. Yukito Ayatsuji must learn, how to interact with Real World.

Yukito Ayatsuji has two cats. And there is only one can of cat food left. He also has almost no tobacco left.

He needs to face Real World and went to the store.

He is lucky, that Guiding Light is also home.

A.K.A. Shy and timid Reader are more important, than they think they are.

🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️

Ayatsuji's P.O.V.

Warning: OOC. English is my second language. Slight mentions of stalking (BSD Cast had access to Reader's messenger and phone). Reader have some negative feelings towards them. Reader try to be better.

Set at the same time, as Part I, and flashback took place two weeks before Part I. [Before people started gossip about Reader, but, after people saw Albatross and Doc]

Mall trip incident described here

<| Part 1 |

___________

Ayatsuji was sitting in his chair, reading a book [Y/N] gave him. To be more specific, it was a library book, that Ayatsuji wanted to read and that was put under [Y/N]'s name. The book was a compilation of mystery novels by different authors.

It not only was a way to spend time for Ayatsuji. It was a “training”. Training, before Ayatsuji could read a book with his name on a cover.

He knew, that there was a specific someone in this world. Author. Reason, why Ayatsuji existed in the first place. The reason, why his ability was named Another, why his ability worked the way it worked. Author was the reason of everything, that was happening with Ayatsuji Yukito.

Ayatsuji can't say, for sure, who exactly he meant by “Author”. His namesake… Or…

Meowing, that came from the door to Ayatsuji's room grabbed his attention. Meowing sounded odd. Like it was muffled. Ayatsuji knew too well, what it means. Cats were back from “treasure hunting” and wanted to show him, what they have found.

Ayatsuji put a bookmark between pages and closed the book. He signed and looked at his cats. Mei and Misaki¹ were good cats, but, sometimes, they liked to steal something to show their master.

Ayatsuji blamed Karl and Poe for that behavior. Karl often brought things to Poe, and Poe also asked Karl to bring small things to Ranpo. This behavior rubbed on Ayatsuji's cats, and they started to act the same way. The only problem was that Ayatsuji didn't ask for anything to be brought to him. Unfortunately, cats refused to stop. The list of stolen things already included Dazai's bolo tie, Q's doll, Ranpo's glasses, Kunikida's notebook and Yosano's hairpin. Thankfully, cats were careful, and all things were returned to their owners good as new.

“What did you two steal this time?” mumbled Ayatsuji, standing up.

Mei, black cat, meowed again. She was holding a few papers in her mouth. No, not just papers. There were some text on them. A document?

Misaki, a calico cat, pawed on the corner of the document. Before cats could damage it, Ayatsuji took it away. Cats looked at Ayatsuji, waiting for a praise. Ayatsuji crook an eyebrow.

“You do realize, that earlier we will have to apologize for your behavior, right?”

Cats looked unbothered by it. Ayatsuji sighs and adjust his glasses. He starts reading the document's text.

“Okay, who it belongs to…” Ayatsuji's eyes widened. It was a rent contract. With [Y/N]'s name on it. And it wasn't expired.

“They're still keeping their old apartment… Why?” whispered Ayatsuji. His gaze stopped on the rent's price. It was higher, that before.

All of them knew, how much you paid for your previous apartment. You always send screenshots, proves of successful payments, to your landlord.

Why were you renting an apartment you didn't use?

Cats rubbed against his back. They looked at their master, waiting for something. For praise, or… For an order?

Ayatsuji took his phone and took a picture of the contract. He kneeled before his cats, holding contact towards them.

“Mei, Misaki, thank you. Now, please, took it back where you found it. And I… I need to go to my collection.”

The cats purred, and Misaki took the document in her mouth. Ayatsuji and both cats left the room. Mei and Misaki ran towards [Y/N]'s room. With the corner of his eye, Ayatsuji noticed a familiar striped tail. That explained, how his cats managed to open whatever drawer, where [Y/N] hid the contract.

_____

Ayatsuji Yukito was glad, that he was able to took his collection here. It helps him think.

Surrounded by puppets, he sat in an armchair. His eyes were closed.

“Why… Why [Y/N] are keeping the apparent?” Ayatsuji mumbles under his breath.

Did [Y/N] leave something in the old apartment, that they can't move to the new house? Unlikely. Ayatsuji remembered the day they helped [Y/N] with moving out. All furniture and washing machine belonged to the landlord. The biggest and heaviest of Guiding Light's belongings were a mini fridge, microwave, mini stove and vacuum cleaner. They and the rest of [Y/N]'s belongings were transported in Annie's room and didn't take too much of a space.

So, not it.

Are [Y/N] planning to leave them? Did he and others do something wrong? Were they too forward? Are [Y/N] afraid of them?

Should Ayatsuji confront [Y/N]? Should he tell others?

Ayatsuji shook his head.

Stop. He is getting too worked up. No. He should start with the first question.

Are [Y/N] planning to leave them?

Ayatsuji opened his eyes and focused on one of the dolls. The first new addition to his collection.

Present from [Y/N].

🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️

/Two weeks ago/

Mei and Misaki were rubbing against his legs, waiting for their food.

Ayatsuji send a quick glance towards his pets, smiling slightly, but frowned, when he looked at the shelf in kitchen's cabinet, where animal food were kept.

Enough raccoon's food and birds' seeds.

And only one can of cat food left.

Enough for today. But he had to buy more.

Had to go outside, to the pet store, and buy more cat food.

Mechanically, he opened the can, put food in two bowls and put them down on the floor. Mei and Misaki purred gratefully, before digging in. Ayatsuji pet both cats, looking out the window.

Outside… All of them fight tooth and nail to get into the real world. Not only to see Guiding Light, but to finally start living their lives.

Who could guess, that they would be horrified of the real world.

Ayatsuji wasn't an exception. He was also nervous about the Real World.

And “Another” wasn't the reason for his fear.

At first, self-awareness was “shocking, but it doesn't change things for me”.

Ayatsuji, back in their world, was forced to stay away from most people. Even after they gained self-awareness, he was forced to stay away.

His uncontrollable ability could still work on others. No one would want to find out, what would happen, if Ayatsuji saw some event in the manga, that makes his ability activate.

Ayatsuji can't blame them. No one wants to die.

When Oda Sakunosuke, Shibusawa Tatsuhiko and André Gide returned to life, after Guiding Light got their cards, the experiments began.

Soon, others dead characters returned to life.

And Ayatsuji was finally part of the group. Now the results of his ability could be “fixed”.

Still, Ayatsuji could hear them. Whispers about him. If he should be allowed in real world. Specifically, if his ability should be allowed near Guiding Light.

If someone started a vote on “Should Ayatsuji be left behind”, Ayatsuji himself would say “yes”. He wanted to go to the Real World, have a full life, met Guiding Light (or Porcelain Treasure, that's how he called them, after hearing from Tsujimura about 'personal nicknames for Guiding Light'), but, he also didn't want to harm Guiding Light. What if they were a criminal? He didn't want to pay for their kindness with murdering them!

The situation was resolved in an interesting way.

They believed, that cards affected only 'dead' characters. They were wrong.

Ango, when he was trying to raise Guiding Light's chances on getting Yosano's cards, discovered, that they could change their abilities for a bit.

Ayatsuji was among people, who wanted to have their abilities changed. He only asked for one thing. To have control over his ability.

And it was time to wait. He could test, if changed works only in Real World.

He was grateful, that the only crime [Y/N] have committed were a crime of adorableness. At least, if changes didn't work, [Y/N] won't be harmed.

They only need to find a criminal.

With some fake documents and snooping around the police station, Ayatsuji managed to find one. A burglar, who break in a house, steal everything and murdered owners.

And when Ayatsuji explained in great details, how he solved the case, he felt it.

His ability was waiting for his command to be activated.

Changes worked.

Self-awareness was a blessing for Yukito Ayatsuji. His ability wasn't a problem anymore.

Now, there is just one issue was left.

All this people, that lived in real world.

All of them knew, how crowded and loud cities are. It was a well known fact, one of many bits of information, that were there, the moment they became self-aware. Knowledge, they were born? with created to have?

Despite “Yokohama” being a dead city. No other people, except them, no other animals, except Karl, Mei and Misaki.

Only almost two years of silence. For two years, they only have each other and Their Guiding Light.

And then, the Real World greeted them with noises. With stable day and night cycle. With animals and people. Full of life.

And this life was scary and unfamiliar.

Ayatsuji felt, like he was a sheltered child, who was taught about the outside world, but never was allowed to take a step outside. And after years of sheltered life, he was kicked in the middle of “reality” and now must live in almost unfamiliar world.

Ayatsuji shook his head, chasing away the flood of memories and thoughts. No matter, how much he was nervous to go outside, he has to buy cat food.

He will simply grab his coat and wallet and go to the pet store, while smoking his pipe.

********

He was out of tobacco. Now, he has to go to one more store.

“Just two shops. Everything will be fine…” Mumbled Ayatsuji under his breath. He was sitting in the living room, trying to get a hold on himself. He was so deep in thought, he didn't notice, that he got a company.

“Ayatsuji… Are you okay? You look nervous.” the voice, that became so familiar and dear for the last two years, was coming from behind.

Ayatsuji turned around, looking at [Y/N]. They tilted their head, a concerned expression was clear on their face. Ayatsuji couldn't help, but smile slightly. He skipped his normal distant and cold attitude. Jouno's warning was fresh in his mind.

“Mind what you said around [Y/N]. Their heartbeat… They accept all our words for truth.”

“I am fine. I'm simply trying to get enough courage to step outside and do some shopping.”

[Y/N]'s concern was replaced with worry.

“Courage?”

Ayatsuji shrugged his shoulders.

“Mhm. Real World is too loud to immediately accept it. But I need cat food and tobacco right now, and have no time to wait before I get used to the real world.”

For one second, [Y/N]'s expression changed. Ayatsuji couldn't put his finger, on what emotion it was.

or, perhaps, he knew this emotion too well, but didn't want to admit, that [Y/N] felt the same emotion

Nevertheless, the emotion was gone, and [Y/N]'s expression became determined.

“Do you want some company?” they asked, taking a step forward. “I need to get a package from the post office, besides, I am currently free, so, I can go with you… If you want, of course.” Immediately add [Y/N].

Ayatsuji thought about the proposal. It would be good to have [Y/N] near. Someone, who was comfortable in Real World. Ayatsuji nodded with a smile.

“Thank you, I will be happy, if you join me.”

For one second, [Y/N] looked shocked, but, quickly, smiled in return.

“Got it. Give me a minute, I will be ready in a minute.” [Y/N] turned on their heels and headed to their room, only to be stopped by Ayatsuji. Detective put his hand on [Y/N]'s shoulder.

“Wait, [Y/N], do you think, I should change my outfit? I don't want to grab people's attention.” Ayatsuji shivered involuntarily. Gogol's story about that trip to the mall was an unpleasant but important warning. When you go out onto the streets of this world in your ordinary outfit, you can expect a wave of fans with a desire to take pictures and touch you, people who consider you a pervert and accusations of satanism.

[Y/N] were silent. They looked at him from top to bottom, then walked around him, taking a good look at his clothes.

Half-rimmed, light-colored sunglasses, white shirt with a vermilion-based checkered border and a gray knit vest, dull orange checkered knickerbocker pants, and beige boots. Ayatsuji decided to add something.

“I will wear my hat and coat.”

[Y/N] nodded, stepping once again before him, then took their phone and started to type something. After a moment, [Y/N] looked away from the screen.

“Hey, Ayatsuji, can you please take your glasses off? Okay, thanks. Now, please, put them on again. Thanks again.”

[Y/N] put their phone back.

“You don't necessary need to change your outfit. I don't think, that you would get too much attention. But, if you are worried, I think, you could change your coat and vest. You can keep hat and glasses. If someone asks about eye color, tell them, you are wearing contacts.”

Ayatsuji raised an eyebrow.

“But with Gogol…”

[Y/N] raised their hands, shushing Ayatsuji.

“Gogol's looks are… I mean, he is… You are… Umf…” [Y/N] hide their face in both hands, breathing heavily. After a minute, [Y/N] spoke again. They were speaking slowly, choosing words carefully.

“Gogol are well-known among… other fans… You are… Details of Kyougoku's case aren't known by everyone… I guess.”

[Y/N] looked up. They looked extremely guilty.

“What I mean… If we didn't run into hard fans, we would be okay. I think.”

'Why [Y/N] looked like they are on a verge of crying?' ignoring the thought, Ayatsuji hummed.

“Understand… Thanks for your advice, [Y/N]. Let's meet near the front door in ten minutes.”

[Y/N] nodded and hurry to their room.

////////////////////////

You washed your face with cold water. Familiar feeling of helplessness and disgust squeeze your insides.

You almost (if not already) messed up. First, you thought, that someone was rude to Ayatsuji and that's why he didn't want to go outside. Then, you had to mentioned BSD Media fact. Ayatsuji and others have enough on their plate, and don't need any reminders about their origins from you.

you didn't regret of offering help that's what friends do

They would be right, if they choose to leave you. If thinking rationality…

You splash more cold water on your face. You need to remember psychology books you like to read.

Your negative feelings were unhealthy, and you really need to control your habit of trying to rationalize your feelings and find “logical” reason to fell/ not to feel/express/not express them.

You will go with Ayatsuji to the mall, you will be happy, and you won't mess it just by being near.

“You are an interesting person, you are an interesting person, you can keep friends…” you repeated this sentence like mantra, while getting ready.

/////////////////

Shopping trip went, mostly, smoothly. As [Y/N] predicted, no one was bothered by Ayatsuji's appearance. People didn't pay any attention to him and [Y/N]. They were just another people in a crowd.

*******

You were glaring at the cans of cat food, Ayatsuji choose, like they were your worst enemies. Without warning, you turned your head towards Ayatsuji.

“Ayatsuji, if remember correctly, Pushkin will do the cooking tomorrow, right?”

Ayatsuji nodded.

"Yes. Something wrong with it?"

You point at the can.

"No. But, just you know, that tomorrow your cats will have duck with wild berries, while we'll munch on plain pasta with sausages."

And Ayatsuji saw it in [Y/N]'s eyes. They were waiting for something. And they were nervous. Ayatsuji chuckled.

"Agree, people, who produce cat food, really should mind, how to name their products."

Happiness, that shined in [Y/N]'s eyes were the biggest reward he could ever ask for.

***********

You didn't comment on tobacco he bought. Right after leaving the shop, Ayatsuji filled his pipe, light it and start smoking.

Tobacco from Real World felt different. And Ayatsuji prefer it to whatever he smoked back in “Yokohama”.

Suddenly, [Y/N] let out a quiet laugh.

“You remind me of Sherlock Holmes."

Ayatsuji pulled deeply on his pipe, before asking.

"Of whom?"

In one second, your expression from happy became guilty.

"Genius detective, who smokes and wears a hat. Didn't I... watched something about him, while you were... I am sorry..."

That expression again. The expression of shame. Without hesitation, Ayatsuji put his hand on [Y/N]'s head, ruffling their hair.

"Don't sweat it, Porcelain Treasure. All of us, you included, have a long way before us. There's nothing wrong with keeping our origins in mind. Or we would have another "Gogol's shopping trip" incident.

He could feel, how [Y/N]'s cheeks were burning with embarrassment. They still weren't used to nicknames.

"If I insisted on him wearing a disguise..."

Ayatsuji rolled his eyes and flicked [Y/N]'s nose.

Yup, they were burning with embarrassment.

"Okay, hush. Don't put the weight of our decisions on you. Otherwise, we will never learn."

[Y/N] opened their mouth to say something else, but change their mind and stay silent.

'Okay, now, to change the subject'

"So, can you tell me more about that Sherlock Holmes guy? He sounded interesting." Ayatsuji observed [Y/N]'s reaction.

'Why do they look... defeated?'

"He is a book character... Created by Arthur Conan Doyle. I should have one of the books at home. I can give it to you..." it looks like [Y/N] were trying to say as less as they can.

'Come on, I see, that you want to say more! I want to hear you! I want to talk to you!'

Ayatsuji squeezed [Y/N]'s shoulder.

"Tell me more, please. I want to know more."

**********

Ayatsuji was waiting outside the post office, trying to hide his smile. Hearing [Y/N]'s passionate speech about Doyle, mystery novels and Sherlock Holmes were a real treat. [Y/N]'s eyes shined, when they were talking about things they liked. And when Ayatsuji paid attention and asked questions.

You still had a big smile on your face after you finished your businesses in the post office and returned to him, holding a big package in your arms.

************

Ayatsuji didn't expect that [Y/N] will come to his room later that day. They were holding a cardboard box into your arms.

"Hey, Ayatsuji, I have a present for you."

They hand him the box.

It was a ball-jointed doll. The box looked old, but the doll looked good as knew.

"You like it?" [Y/N] sounded nervous. Ayatsuji nodded.

"Yes. Thank you, [Y/N]." He smiled warmly at them. [Y/N] returned the gesture.

"You are welcome. Don't be bothered by an old box. This doll were with me for many years now."

Ayatsuji raised an eyebrow.

"Favorite toy?" Ball-jointed dolls wasn't that good for playing with them, but, maybe...

[Y/N] shook their head.

"No. Present from distant relative. My parents kept it hidden. They wanted to keep it for 'better times'. You have no idea how much I wanted to play with it. I often looked at the box, dreaming about playing with it. But, my father always said, that doll was a possible investment in my future." [Y/N] let out a quiet chuckle.

'They wanted to sell it in a future' mentally translated Ayatsuji. Meanwhile, [Y/N] continue talking.

"But, now, I am an adult, it belongs to me, I am the only one, who can decide, what to do with it."

Ayatsuji put box on the table.

"Are you sure? It seems, doll was important to you."

[Y/N] just waved their hand.

'They looked confident'. They are sure.'

"I am sure. Among two of us, you will be the one, who can truly appreciate the doll."

"Thank you again." Ayatsuji nodded slightly in appreciation.

[Y/N]'s smile was bright.

"You are welcome."

🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️

Ayatsuji was gently holding his new doll.

"No. They aren't planning to leave."

In a quiet basement, Ayatsuji's voice sounded louder, that it really was.

But it means that...

He should face it. Few things, that Ayatsuji willingly ignore.

[Y/N]'s nervousness and fear.

And almost empty chat list. With chats, where [Y/N] were ignored.

Bruises, Doc were talking about.

And that little fleeting expression on [Y/N]'s face. Expression, that was too familiar to Ayatsuji Yukito. Expression, he sometimes saw in the mirror, before he stopped constantly thinking about his ability. Expression, that he saw on Gide's and Verlaine's faces.

It was an expression of self-resentment. Of self-disgust.

"Why? Why can't you see, what a great person you are?" whispered Ayatsuji. "Who... Who did this to you, [Y/N]? What could we do to help you?"

There were no answers. For now.

Ayatsuji put the doll back, leaving the basement.

Flags must return soon. They wanted to investigate your workplace.

First steps were made.

As he said, they have a long way ahead of them. He and others should learn to live in the Real World. [Y/N] should get used to have them in their live.

And Ayatsuji and others should show [Y/N], that they won't be alone and won't be ignored anymore.

_______

¹As long as I knew, Ayatsuji's cats don't have official names. So, I decided to named them after Misaki Mei, Main Character of “Another” novel.

#self-awarebsd #self-awareau #bungou stray dogs au #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd anime #bsd x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #bsd ayatsuji #ayatsuji x reader #bsd yukito ayatsuji #Self-Aware Yukito Ayatsuji

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electricaquarius · 20 days

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Midnight fanfiction time strikes again, this is my first Gale x reader! Completely gender neutral, only thing described is that the reader is prone to migraines. Short and fluffy. (Also it seems like some of my fics are missing? I'll repost them sometime soon)

As you slowly opened your eyes you felt the morning light like two daggers directly to your skull. You rolled over and groaned, using your arm to try to block it out but it was no use, you officially had a migraine. As if the tadpole wasn't enough your head was now trying to implode on itself. The sound of Lae’zel sharpening her blade was nearly enough to make you cry. Hands over your ears you stumbled out, still dressed in night clothes, needing to explain you cannot possibly adventure out today. As the unofficial leader you felt a certain sense of guilt taking a day off but the world feels so spacey and dreamlike it's impossible to concentrate on much other than the pain. You believe Wyll had ordered you back to bed at some point but honestly it could have been any of your friends. You're just happy to be able to rest once more.

You woke up later, but you're not sure how much time had passed. Hours, certainly, since it was dark outside. Although, there was a slight tinge of weave in the air that made you question that, alongside the soft sound of waves even though you were miles from the nearest coastline. You sat up and scanned your tent to find Gale sitting in one corner, book on his lap. ‘Gale…?’ You croaked out, throat dry from sleep.

His voice was a low whisper. ‘Ah, good morning. Or evening, as it might be.’ He chuckled. ‘I thought a darkness spell might help, I understand you were quite light sensitive this morning. Please, let me know if you want me to stop.’ He reached over and poured a cup of water for you. ‘Drink. Dehydration will only make your headache worse.’

You took the cup from him gratefully and took several small sips. ‘How long was I out? Have you been concentrating for all that time?’ Added to the guilt of a wasted day, you now have the shame of taking up Gale's time when he could have been doing one of the thousand little chores you were unaware of before you started camping with your be-tadpoled friends.

‘Most of the day, I'm afraid. I do hope you're feeling better. Although you needn't worry, darkness is hardly a demanding spell even to maintain it for several hours.’ There was that pride coming through again. At times it infuriated you but right now it was quite endearing.

You sat up properly and brought your knees to your chest. ‘Still, to sit with me like this for the whole time I was asleep… you're very nice to me. I'm not quite sure why.’ You shrugged. It was true enough, you couldn't quite see Gale doing something *this* nice for your other companions. There had been something between you ever since your little magic lesson but nothing that either of you could name.

‘I could say the same about you, after having not only accepted my condition but helping to treat it. Let's say it's an equal exchange.’ He tucked away the book and brought a hand to your forehead. ‘No fever. Good. I'm afraid treating that would be a mite more complicated.’

You rolled your eyes and flopped back down onto the bedroll. ‘Must you be so mercenary? That was the perfect time to tell me how much you like me.’ You took another sip of water to avoid Gale's gaze for a moment.

‘I won't argue, considering you're still recovering, but I will say you were the first to bring it up. And I won't waste time telling you what you already know. You mean a great deal to me, and if I may be so bold, I do to you.’ He leant down and kissed your forehead before rising. ‘I'll call you when dinner is ready, you should eat.’

Stunned into silence, you can't respond until Gale is across the camp and preparing dinner. If this is how he reacted, you make a mental note to play sick more often.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #gale dekarios #gale x reader #gale x tav #hush duchess

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nicoline1998enilocin · 7 months

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Flufftober Day 8 | Dancing in the rain

Pairing | Best friend!Loki Laufeyson x Best friend!!Avenger!Female!Reader

Word count | ~ 850 words

Summary | Both you and Loki decide to make the best of a rainy day. He starts the day off with breakfast in bed, and you decide to bake him a pumpkin pie in the afternoon. When you suddenly get the idea to dance in the rain with him, something shifts between you, and you can't keep your hands off one another.

Warning(s) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Best friends to lovers, mutual pining, breakfast in bed, dancing in the rain, implied shower sex.

Prompt(s) | 8. Rainy day

Request | Anon: Can I request a lazy rainy day with loki and female reader? 😍😍

A/n | This one shot is written for day 8 of Flufftober 2023. Thank you for this sweet request, Nonnie! I dream of spending a day like this with Loki, so I'm happy to have worked on this. I hope you will all enjoy it as much as I did when writing it 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 🧡

Divider is made by @cafekitsune | 18+ banner is made by yours truly

Main Masterlist | Loki Laufeyson Masterlist | Flufftober Masterlist

It is genuinely an autumnal day outside, with the rain falling heavy on the windows, the wind blowing trees in every direction, and it is cold out. Luckily for you, you're working in the kitchen to make a treat Loki has never had before: pumpkin pie.

The morning started nicely, even though you were rudely woken up by knocking on your door. Loki decided to bring you breakfast in bed, and you weren't fazed that he was wearing sweatpants and a tight shirt, which is the complete opposite of his usual Asgardian leather clothing.

''Mornin' Darling,'' he says with a small kiss on your temple, a little routine the two of you have built over the years you've known each other. What started as short, small pecks turned into lingering kisses and hugs, and sometimes, you two even slept in the same bed.

There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself if it weren't for the fact that you both have feelings for one another.

''I think I know what I want to do this afternoon,'' you suddenly said after Loki popped a strawberry into his mouth.

''And what would that be, Darling?'' Loki looks up at you expectingly.

''I'm going to bake you a pumpkin pie since I think it's a real shame you've never tasted one. It is one of the most amazing desserts on this planet, and since the weather is dreadful, it's the perfect opportunity to bake something!'' you said, and Loki was almost as enthusiastic as you were.

Keyword being almost, because your baking skills haven't always proved to be the best.

''Alright, if that's what you want to do, I'd be more than happy to try some of your pumpkin pie,'' he says before feeding you a strawberry, too, maintaining eye contact the entire time.

And that's how you found yourself in the kitchen, preparing the filling for your pumpkin pie. Loki silently observes you as you dance to the music you put on, and with each movement, he can feel himself falling more and more in love with you.

By the time the pie is ready to go into the oven, Loki has set up the living room to watch a movie together, a blanket, snacks, and your favorite Halloween movie ready to go.

''C'mon, we can probably watch about half the movie if we start now,'' he says, but when you look out the window, you suddenly get a better idea.

You stretch out your hand, and when he puts his in yours, you feel a warmth flowing through your body you can only describe as nothing but love.

''Trust me, it will be worth it,'' you tell Loki, who believes you, following you outside in the pouring rain.

''There's one thing I've always dreamt of doing: dancing in the rain!'' you scream at Loki so he can hear you through the pouring rain, and without a second thought, you dance like your life depends on it, not a single care in your mind right now.

All you know is you, Loki, and the rain, and he quickly follows suit as he busts out some odd dance moves he probably learned in Asgard, making you laugh uncontrollably.

''Loki, can I confess something?'' you say as you stop to dance. ''Because there's one more thing I've always dreamt of doing,'' you say, finally having found the courage to bring it up.

''Always, Darling,'' he says.

You walk over to him, and in the pouring rain, you wrap your arms around his neck, your lips crashing onto his in a kiss that takes your breath away in the best way possible.

His hands pull you closer by your waist until there's not a single inch left between you two, and it feels like you're in a romantic comedy, the moment feeling perfect.

When Loki pulls away, you chase his lips, and he gives one more small peck before telling you all about the feelings he's had for a long time now.

''I have to tell you how much I love you, how much I am in love with you. Every single time I see you, my heart skips a beat or two, and when we talk, I never get bored of talking or listening to you, and not a single moment is ever boring with you,'' he says, and your eyes light up at his words.

''I like how you look at people like they're all so precious, and you talk to everyone with love and care; it makes everyone feel special. But there's no one more special than you, Darling. And if you'll let me, I want to show you just how special,'' he says, a glint of mischief showing through.

''Please, Loki. I want you to show me,'' and within no time, you're both in the shower, and he has you pinned between himself and the wall as he makes sweet love to you, telling you how much he loves you and how perfect you are.

But most of all, he tells you what a good girl you are for him.

#flufftober 2023 #day 8 #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #god of mischief #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson x female reader #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x y/n #loki laufeyson fanfiction #loki laufeyson fluff #loki #loki x female reader #loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki fanfiction #loki fluff

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musings-of-a-rose · 7 months

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Pairing: Benny Miller x ofc "Lily Morales" (21 year old daughter of Frankie Morales)

Word Count: 9000+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: Listen, I’ve had this in my head for a long time and I just had to get it out. I know the dbf trope may be overdone, and it’s not a trope I normally read, but I just…they kept talking and I had to get it out. Sometimes the fic writes you. Thanks to @mermaidxatxheart for reading this over and helping me get unstuck. And to @avengers-fixation and @rayslittlekitten for also beta reading and giving me some excellent feedback to help this take a better shape!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

→Tell Tumblr this should be shared with others by reblogging! That's what the algorithm loves (it's how it works here. I don't make the rules!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

"What do you want to do for your birthday, mija?"

I shrug, popping another blueberry in my mouth. "I don't know. Wanna order pizza and watch a movie?"

My dad gives me a look, pointing his fork at me. "Is that what you want to do?"

I don't know. What do 21 year olds want to do besides get shit faced on their 21st?

"I don't know, dad."

"I think you should go out with your friends."

"Are you really telling me I should go get shit faced on my birthday?"

He chuckles. "No, but you're turning 21. You don't wanna hang out with your old man."

"I always want to hang out with you."

"I love you too, but you're young. You should hang out with your friends."

"I'm fine here with you, dad."

"Look," he sighs and sets his spoon down, looking at me. "Be safe, call me if you need me to come get you or something, but go out. Be 21."

He won't let up, I can see it in his eyes. "If it means so much to you, I'll go out."

—----

God, I'm bored. My friends all squealed when I finally caved in and said we could go out drinking for my birthday. They picked me up and brought me to a bar, claiming a booth on the side. They had me place the order for drinks, my first at 21, and then paid, splitting the bill amongst themselves. But while I nursed a drink, they kept slamming them back, getting increasingly more drunk. Eventually, they all got up and hobbled onto the dance floor. Well, not an official dance floor, more like a space they drunkenly cleared out while putting on songs on the ancient jukebox in the corner. Some other patrons joined in and soon there was a small group of men around them, laughing and swaying along while I stayed seated at our table.

"You look bored as fuck, Lil."

—----

Benny:

This week had been rough. Hell, this whole month had been rough. Another girl that just wanted to use him for a fun time had come and gone, leaving Benny feeling a little more than hollow. They never stay long, always wanting his fun side. If he let down his mask for just a moment, showing them all of him, they run. It hurts but if he's being honest with himself, none of them felt right. Like they were placeholders, just someone to pass the time with. Or distract him from the girl he really likes, the one he can't have.

He takes another swig from his beer, the one he'd been nursing for a while when this large group of about 10 college aged girls comes in the bar, squealing and talking loudly. They make a big deal of securing a booth, practically yelling about how it's someone's birthday. And then, he sees her.

Lily, his Lily being shoved forward from the group of girls, her short, pleated skirt fanning out as they tell her to go order drinks and they'll pay. When did the feelings for her start? His mind goes back to a specific moment, a BBQ at Frankie's, when Lily was nearly 20. She was walking past the pool, fully clothed and slipped in, a little yelp leaving her just before the splash. But before anyone could move, she was pushing to the surface, makeup sliding down her face and she was laughing, her head tilted back as she made her way to the edge and Frankie pulled her out. Her clothes were soaked, hair sticking to her forehead, mascara covering her cheeks along with the purple eye shadow she had been wearing. Most girls would've flipped out, cried and screamed and gotten angry, but not Lily. She made some quip about not seeing the pool there and then she looked at him as he laughed, her eyes lit up not with embarrassment, but something else that Benny couldn't quite place. But now he saw her in a whole new light. Lily. His Lily.

Wait, not his Lily. She can't ever be his Lily because she is Lily Morales, Fish's daughter. He couldn't do that to his friend. 13 years isnt too bad of a gap but Fish's daughter? She's too smart for him, too creative, too good. She wouldn't want his old PTSD ass anyway.

He watches her bring the drinks back and pass them out, her friends pounding them back as Lily takes small, infrequent sips from the glass she's holding, her smile dropping lower and lower as her friends get more and more drunk.

God, she's beautiful. Her dark brown hair frames her face, loose waves cascading past her shoulders, her shirt hugging her tits the right way and Benny shifts in his seat as his mind wanders, eyes roaming over her body. She can't see him anyway, what would it hurt?

But as the night continues on, he sees her friends get up, forming a makeshift dance floor, some other young college guys coming to join them. But not Lily. She doesn't join her friends, opting to stay back and take another slow sip from her drink, her fingers drawing a mindless pattern in the condensation on her cup.

He takes a deep breath, drinking the last swig from his beer as he stands. He won't have her looking so sad on her birthday. He must put a smile on her face. Benny strides over to her, pushing through the crowd.

"You look bored as fuck, Lil."

Her eyes go wide, her cheeks flushing as she looks up at him, a smile appearing on her face. Surely that's not just for him. She can't possibly feel the same way. Can she? No, she's Fish's daughter. Cut it out, Benny.

But he can't stop himself from sliding into the seat next to her, hoping like hell she doesn't spot his half hard boner from her thigh barely touching his jean clad one.

When he looks at her, he knows why other women haven't worked out for him. Because she is the one he wants. And the one he simply cannot have.

—----

My body springs to life as his voice washes over me, my eyes looking up into his bright blue ones, the ones that I see in my dreams. My cheeks warm and it's not from the half a drink I've had. It's from the fact I've been in love with this man for years.

"Benny!"

He smiles at me, his eyes crinkling slightly at the sides and my stomach lurches. He waves his hands, silently telling me to scooch over. I do and he sits next to me, his thigh nearly pressing into mine. He leans in close, speaking into my ear as the girls have turned the music up way too loud.

"Happy birthday!"

"You remembered?"

He's so close, his face inches from mine, his eyes boring into me. "Of course I remember. You're one of my favorite people."

God I hope he can't hear my heart pounding through my chest.

"But why are you sitting here by yourself? Shouldn't you be out there?" He points his thumb over his shoulder towards my group of friends, who have now mingled with a group of college boys, all grinding on each other.

"Hard pass."

"You mean, grinding up against sweaty young men isn't your thing?" His eyes light up with laughter.

I shake my head. "I like older men." Shit, did I just say that? He looks at me, a curious look in his eyes.

"I doubt they'd be able to keep up with you."

"I think one might."

"Sounds like you have someone in mind."

"Maybe I do." Shut up, Lily!

Before he can reply, a loud whoop sounds from the dancing throng and we both look as one of the drunk men try to impress my friend by doing the worm. Benny leans in to me again, his scent filling up my nose and suddenly I'm feeling warm between my legs.

"I'm hungry. Wanna get out of here and get a burger or something?"

"God, yes. Please save me."

He smiles, sliding out of the booth and extends his arm to me as I get up. I take it, my skin tingling as it brushes against his, feeling his muscles constrict as he guides me through the crowd and out of the bar. I catch my friends eye as I walk past them and nod my head towards Benny, telling her silently I was going with him. She gives me a wink and thumbs up before making a lude gesture that I'm glad Benny misses. I expect him to drop my arm when we're outside, but he doesn't. Instead, he looks down at me, towering over me.

"Did you drive or?"

"What? Oh, no. Ironically, I was not the designated driver. Don't worry, we took Ubers."

He chuckles. "Smart. Alright, my jeep is around the back. I've only had one beer, is that ok?"

"You're asking me?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm fine to drive but whatever you're comfortable with."

"I trust you." Am I seeing things or is he blushing?

He guides me to his jeep, opening the door and helping me inside. He drives us across town to a little diner we've been to before, although it's never been just the two of us. Usually my dad or Benny's brother Will is with us. We sit and order giant burgers and a plate of fries to share, and a couple slices of what Benny calls "birthday pie" that we eat first.

"So why did you agree to go out with those friends if all they did was ditch you?"

I chuckle. "I blame my dad. He made me."

"Fish wanted you to go out drinking?"

"He said I should "go out and be 21". I told him I just wanted a pizza and a movie with him."

"Why didn't you tell me you wanted pizza? We could've gone to get pizza."

"No, this is perfect, really." My hand covers his on the table and I see just how small it is in comparison to Benny's and I swallow hard. "Thank you, really. You saved me."

Benny asks a zillion more questions as we eat, always interested to hear my opinion on things. I've never had a man be this interested in what I had to say, almost as if… there's no way he could feel the same for me, right? I know there's an age gap, but it's only 13 years..

He links his arm with mine again as we make our way back to his Jeep, helping me in before coming around and climbing in himself.

"I'll take you home."

"No!" Oh shit, did I yell that? I don't want this night to end so soon. Not when I have an excuse for it to just be us.

His eyebrows are raised. "No?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be loud. I uh.. I mean no. My dad expects me to be home late or crash at a friend's. If I come home now, he'll think it's weird."

"I don't think he'd mind you coming home early. Then he knows you're not out causing trouble."

"Please Benny?" I hesitate a moment before reaching out to place my hand on his arm, squeezing it a little. "Can we… I don't know.. just go back to your place and hang for a bit?" His skin is warm under my palm and I feel him shift slightly in his seat, eyes fixed on the road before he glances sideways at me.

“You’d really want to hang out with an old man like me?"

“You’re not old.” I sit back, reluctantly pulling my hand from his arm. “Besides, didn’t we establish that I like older men?” What the fuck is wrong with you, Lily?

He shifts in his seat again and clears his throat, fighting back a smile. “Have anything in mind?”

“We could watch a movie?”

“Alright, you talked me into it. But only because it’s your birthday.” He smiles before reaching over and poking me in the side. I flinch back, a giggle erupting from the back of my throat. “Oh, you’re ticklish?”

“I don’t like the look on your face, Benjamin.”

He’s smiling wide. “No look. Just tucking that information away for later.”

We pull up to his place and get out. I follow him up to his front door, my eyes taking in his broad shoulders, beefy arms, and tight ass. He's so tall, much taller than me. I'd love to climb him like a tree…

Heading inside, I kick my shoes off and leave them by the door, hanging my purse on one of the coat rack hooks. I follow him into the living area. He gestures to the couch and I sit, Benny sitting at the opposite end from me.

"Want something to drink?" He asks and it may be my imagination, but he sounds nervous.

"S-sure." Way to sound smooth, Lily.

"Beer ok? I think I have water somewhere."

"Beer will be fine. Thanks."

"You got it. Can't believe I can officially give you this now." He disappears into his kitchen and remerges with 2 bottles of beer, popping open the top and handing it to me. He holds up his bottle to mine and we clink them together.

"Here's to a birthday!" He says and smiles, taking a swig when I do.

"It's certainly been one of those."

We flip through the channels, stopping on some trash reality TV to make fun of them, cracking up at the stupidity of the show. We've had a couple of beers by now and I'm not drunk by any means, but definitely warm and I feel myself loosening up as I become more comfortable around him, passing quips back and forth.

"I don't know why she's picking Jason when clearly Porter is the better choice."

"What?" I say, shocked. "You can't mean that. Have you looked at Porter?"

Benny squints at the tv. "Yes?"

"Need your glasses, old man?"

"Be careful. You don't wanna poke the old man."

I scoff playfully, smirking. "Maybe I do."

In one swift move, Benny sits up, putting his bottle on the coffee table before he turns to me, his eyes full of mischief. He lunges for me but I jumped up, somehow missing his grip and I smirk, turning towards him.

"You'll have to be faster than that, old man." He tries to get up and I run, trying to move around the back of the couch, but somehow he's there, leaning over the back, his strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me back over the couch as I scream. He pushes me back down onto the couch, his large form hovering over me as his fingers dig into my sides. I squirm under him, unable to do anything but squeal with laughter as I writhe about. But the mood changes suddenly, his fingers slowing as he looks down at me, his blue eyes dragging down my face to my lips. I can feel him pressing into me between my legs and heat rushes there to meet him. He leans closer, our lips almost touching, but then he's pulling back and I can't take it. We were so close, I can't go back to how it was, not knowing that he wants this as much as I do but is stopping himself, denying him and me a chance at happiness.

My fingers grasp at his shirt, tugging to get him to look at me. When he does, his eyes are wide, a combination of lust and conflict behind them. My finger traces his cheek and I decide to go for it, leaning up while lightly pulling him towards me with the tip of my finger. His lips are nearly on mine, his breath fanning out over my face, but he stops.

"We can't, Lil."

I nod. "We can." I feel him grow harder against me and it's all I can do to not moan, the weight of him grounding me to this moment. He still doesn't move.

"I don't want to take advantage."

"You're not. I'm sober."

His lips are so close to mine, his breath filling my own as my lips remain slightly parted waiting for him.

"He'd kill me."

"I'll protect you."

"Lil," he whispers, his breath heating my lips.

"Ben." I touch my lips to his and oh, his are so soft and warm, tasting slightly like the beer he'd had earlier. He doesn't move for a second and maybe I've pushed him too far. His lips move above mine, responding to my gentle touch with a more heated one, a slight moan at the back of his throat as he glides his tongue into my slightly parted lips. A small groan comes from my chest in return and I hum into his kiss, deepening it as Benny presses on with more urgency, my legs wrapping around him, squeezing him slightly.

His hands are on my face, pushing my hair out of it as a large hand engulfs the side of my face and neck, holding my chin in place as he kisses me deeper, pressing into me harder, his hips slightly grinding of their own accord. Then he breaks the kiss, leaning up to reach over his shoulder, gripping the back of his shirt as he pulls it over his head, tossing it on the coffee table. I've seen him shirtless before of course, but this is different. A patch of hair is nestled between his pecks, soft but strong muscles flexing as he holds himself up, a small trail of hair disappearing beneath his pants. Fuck do I want to see where that goes. I scramble to grip the bottom of my shirt, lifting slightly as I twist my body to take it off, Benny's hand coming to help. My shirt joins his, Benny's fingers sliding around my back to take off my bra, tossing that on the table too. His eyes dip to my chest and they look hungry.

"Fuck, look at you, Lil."

Before I can reply, he leans back down, pressing his chest to mine as he kisses me again, his warm skin so soft against mine. He feels so good, comforting, grounding, I can hardly believe I'm here. He kisses a path down my neck, pausing to suck one of my nipples in his mouth. I whimper, my back arching off the couch towards him, my fingers automatically coming up to tangle in his golden hair.

"How do you want it?"

"Wh-what?" Is all I can manage as he starts to lick at my same nipple.

"Do you have any favorite positions? Any you hate?"

"I don't know."

He chucks into my skin. "Should I give you a moment to think?"

I shake my head. "I really don't know. I've never done this before."

Benny drops my boob with a plop, pushing himself up so fast it makes my head spin. "What do you mean you haven't done this before?"

I know I'm blushing under his gaze. "I mean… I haven't.. I just… I've never…" I gesture between us.

"Be clear."

"I'm a virgin, ok?" I'm not that embarrassed, but everyone I know has had sex long before me. I just never felt the desire to. Probably because none of them was the man above me, who is now trying to untangle my legs from behind him.

"I didn't know you were… didn't you have boyfriends?"

"Yeah but I've never done anything past boobs."

"Shit, Lil. I can't do this to you. I-"

"Do this to me?"

"Yeah, take your…" He gestures between my legs, still trying to wiggle his way out from between them.

"I want you, though, Benny."

"I can't. Not when you haven't…you should do it with someone your age. You should've done it with a boyfriend-"

I let out a frustrated huff. "But none of them were you, Ben!"

He stops moving, his eyes studying my face. "What?"

Too late to not say anything now. "I.. ok, I've liked you for a really long time. Like, really liked you. I tried dating people my age but they all suck. None of them were you. I guess I've been waiting, hoping you'd feel the same. But I won't force-"

"You waited for me?"

I nod, suddenly unable to look at him, my cheeks on fire. "I hoped one day I'd have the courage to tell you how I felt. Or something. I knew it was a long shot. I mean, look at me. I'm… me."

His eyes soften, looking down my body and back up to my eyes. "You say that like it's a bad thing. You're fucking gorgeous, Lil. And..I'd be lying if I said I never thought about us. But me? Why would you want anything to do with me?"

I muster up the courage to look him in the eyes. "Because you make me feel seen. Like I matter. That I'm not just some piece of ass."

"I've been through some major shit, Lil."

I reach up, my hand caressing his cheek, fingers scratching at the stubble. "I want that too. I want all of you, Benny. I want you."

His lips press to mine again, urgent, desperate, his large hand pressed on the side of my neck, the other bracing him. He breaks the kiss for just a moment, pulling back enough to make sure I'm looking at him.

"Are you sure, Lil? This isn't a small thing, even if you weren't a virgin."

"I am so unbelievably sure, Benny. Please just, show me. Make me feel good."

He smiles at me, his eyes darkening with a glint. “I’m about to ruin you for other men, sweetheart. But not here."

My brows furrow together. "What?"

He taps my thigh to get me to unlock my legs. I do and he stands, stretching briefly before he extends a hand to me, helping me up off the couch. He tips my head up, hooking my chin with his finger, pressing his lips to mine, his other hand coming up to lightly pinch my nipple. I gasp at the sensation, arching slightly into his palm. Then he stands straight, holding his hand out to me, giving me one last chance to stop things. I lace my fingers with his, my hand feeling small in his large one and he smiles, walking me down the hallway to his bedroom.

Once inside, he pushes some things out of the way, and sits on the edge of the bed. He beckons me over and I stand between his outstretched legs. He pulls one of my boobs in his mouth and I moan, heat and wet pooling between my thighs as he kisses his way down to my skirt line. He pauses, eyes turned up to mine, as his hand gently glides up my inner thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind it. Once he reaches my panties, he stops, barely brushing a finger over my clothed clit and I jolt, pleasure momentarily shooting out from where he touched me.

"You're so fucking wet," he says with awe.

"Is..is that a good thing?"

He touches me again, grinning when I gasp out loud. "Such a good thing."

He pulls his hand from under my skirt, hooking his fingers into the waistband and pulls them down slowly, kissing the skin that appears as my skirt and panties slide down my legs. I kick them off, foot shoving them somewhere behind me as I stand there, completely bare in front of him. I'm nervous, hands automatically coming up to cover me, but he grips my wrists, holding them apart as his eyes slowly move over my body.

"So fucking beautiful, Lil."

He switches places with me and tells me to lay back, scooting up the bed. He kicks off his pants but leaves his boxers on, which do nothing to hide the tent in his pants. My eyes grow wide. Are all men that large? He crawls over my body, slotting himself between my legs, kissing me deeply for several minutes. My legs wrap around him, feeling him hot and heavy against me. But then he's kissing a path down my body, scooting lower and lower until he's level with my pussy, pushing my legs apart further and putting his broad shoulders between them to hold them apart.

"Fuck, you have a pretty little pussy. Can't believe no one has touched you here."

I don't respond, my head swimming with a whirl of emotions, mostly nerves and how bad I want him to touch me, push himself inside of me. I want-

"Oh!" A cry erupts from me, my thighs clamping around the side of Benny's head as his tongue makes contact with me, licking a line up me before he taps at my clit. "Oh, God, Benny!" My fingers tangle in his hair, tugging on him and holding him in place as he laps at me, gliding his nose up my seam before I feel him press a finger to my entrance, rubbing small circles there. I can hear how wet I am, my other hand flying out to grip the sheets as he pushes his finger in slowly.

"Fuck you are so tight, Lil."

He slowly moves his finger in and out of me, my body warming quickly before he adds a second finger, this time tapping around inside of me. He hits some spot and I yell, thighs banging against his head again.

"There it is," he smirks, his fingers rubbing and tapping at that spot as his mouth returns to my pussy, licking and sucking. I feel tingles, all over my body, racing towards where he's touching me and then I explode, my head pushing into the bed, thighs tensing as I pulse around him, whining and moaning as I come. Benny guides me through it, making sure I feel every ounce of pleasure I possibly can.

And then he does it two more times.

My entire body is warm and loose, my brain swimming with the pleasure of it all as Benny removes his mouth from me, wiping his face on the back of his hand, grinning ear to ear as he hovers over me, tasting of me as he presses his lips to mine.

"You feelin' good, sweetheart?"

"Mmhmm."

Benny chuckles. "Do you want me to stop?"

My eyes fly open as I find his. "No. Please I need you inside of me."

He nods. "I think you're ready for me. But stop me if it hurts or you want me to stop, ok?"

"Ok."

He scoots back off the bed, standing and pulling his boxers off. He springs up and holy shit is that supposed to go in me? He settles between my legs, pushing my thighs apart, sliding himself through my soaked folds and I whimper at his touch. He's heavy at my entrance, his eyes on my face as he slowly pushes in.

"Oh!" Is about all I can say. It burns for sure, and is uncomfortable, but not painful. And as he pushes further in, I feel him rub up against that spot he made sensitive with his fingers moments before. My fingers dig into his biceps, his muscles strong beneath my nails as he slowly slides back out.

“Are you ok?” He asks, his eyebrows pulled together in concern.

“I will be once you’re back inside of me.”

“Fuck you’re gonna kill me.”

He pushes back into me, still slowly but a little faster this time. When he can go no further, he waits, holding his hips still to give me a moment. I feel so full of him, my head swimming with his scent while I relax and stretch around him. He must feel the tension leaving me, as he pulls back out and pushes back in, more quickly. After about 5 more of these, he pushes in rather quick and I yelp as he hits a spot at the back of me.

“Fuck! Do that again!”

He smiles, one side of his mouth pulling up as he complies, thrusting into me harder and chuckling when he hears the breathy sounds coming from me. He keeps going, making sure to angle himself to thrust into that spot every time, eventually speeding up more, rutting into me as I come unglued beneath him, writhing and moving my hips to meet his, my vision going hazy at the edges as my body tingles and I come, nails digging into him as I chant his name over and over. Benny grunts and pulls out, spilling himself across my lower stomach, little breathy grunts coming from him as he comes.

He takes a second when he’s done before getting up and grabbing a wet cloth from the bathroom. He cleans me up and returns with another cloth, wiping my overstimulated cunt, and chuckling when my legs twitch. He tosses the rag in his hamper and crawls on the bed next to me, pulling the sheet over us. Benny props himself up on his elbow, his finger tracing lines down my chest before using a finger to turn my head to him.

“How are you feeling, Lil?”

I sigh, feeling the corners of my mouth pull into a soft smile. “Honestly? I’ve never felt better.”

He presses his lips lightly to mine. “The best you’ve ever felt, huh?”

I nod, turning on my side to face him. “You were right though. You’ve ruined other men for me. Good thing I only want one man.”

—----

A yell rips me from sleep and I sit up quick, my head rushing slightly as I look around the unfamiliar room, blinking a few times before remembering I was still at Benny’s. In his bed. A whimper echoes in the dark space and I look down, seeing Benny tangled in his sheets, curled up and sweating, eyes jammed shut and his mouth muttering words I can’t catch all of. I may have never seen it on Benny, but I am familiar with the nightmares. My dad has them all the time, one of the many reasons why I’m studying to be a psychiatrist and intend to reform the VA mental health unit.

I gently place my hand on his bare shoulder, his skin warm and sweaty under my palm. “Benny, it’s ok. You’re here. I’m here.”

He whimpers once more before his eyes pop open, wet with unshed tears and he gasps, hand reaching out for something I can’t see. He blinks and turns his head, seeing my hand on his shoulder and he follows it up to my face.

“Lily?”

I smile. “Hey, Ben. Are you with me?”

“I…” he pulls his shoulder from me and sits up, pulling the blankets around his waist. “I’m sorry.” He’s wiping at his face, trying to push the tears away. “Just lock the door on your way out.”

“What?”

“When you leave, just take the key and lock the door. Slide it under the mat.”

“I don’t…I don’t understand? You’re kicking me out?”

“You want to leave, right?”

“No? Why would I?”

“Because I’m fucked up! I told you, Lil. I have so much shit with me. No one wants this.”

“Ben. Look at me.”

He shakes his head. "I can't. Just.. lock the door on your way out."

"Ben-"

"I can't. I can't see that look on your face too, I just can't, Lily."

"Ben, please look at me."

He sighs and turns his head, a hard expression on his face and I see it, all the hurt he’s had to endure from the women before me leaving him once his guard slipped. And I want to fight them all. I take his hand, lacing my fingers through his and bring it to my lips, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand.

“Benjamin Miller, unless you kick me out, I’m not going anywhere.”

His eyes water a little and he shakes his head to stop them. “But, the nightmares-”

“You think this is the first time I’ve seen a nightmare? Do you not remember who my dad is?”

“Fish gets nightmares too?”

I nod. “All the fucking time, Ben. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked him down. Why do you think I’m going into psych?”

“You’re…you’re really not wanting to leave?”

“No. I’d really rather stay here with you, make sure you’re ok, wake up next to you. As long as you’ll have me?”

He squeezes my hand and presses his forehead to mine. “I’d love that.”

I lay back and beckon him to me, placing his head on my chest as he cuddles into my side. He sucks one of my boobs in his mouth, claiming it’s his comfort toy. But soon after he’s sound asleep, his face peaceful and he doesn’t wake the rest of the night.

He brings me home the next day and I wave to him from the front steps as I walk through the front door.

“She’s alive!”

“Ha-ha, dad. But I’m doing fine.”

“Was that Benny I saw dropping you off?”

“Oh. Yeah. He was at the bar last night.”

“And he brought you home this morning?”

I nod, kicking off my shoes. “Yeah. I was pretty drunk and my friends still wanted to party. His place was closest to the bar and I asked him to take me there. Didn’t think I could make it home.” I mimed throwing up, which is exactly what I wanted to do. I hate lying to him.

“You could’ve called me. I would’ve picked you up.”

“I know. But Benny was already there. No sense in waking you up.”

“You know I don’t sleep.”

“Which is why you’re always so fun to be around.”

He looks fake hurt, pressing his hand to his chest. “I am a damn delight….but I’ll have to thank Benny for taking such good care of you.”

I hide my smirk before replying. “Please do.”

—----

The next few months pass and we keep us a secret, going on dates in the next towns over, meeting up whenever we can. I feel bad for lying to my dad and not telling him, but it’s not the right time.

Benny is everything I thought he was and more. He makes me laugh, even cracking jokes as he’s pressed between my thighs. He makes me feel safe and I think I make him feel safer too. His nightmares, while still present, seem to happen less often, his body relaxing into mine as he sleeps deeply.

Then there’s the sex. Oh God the sex. I know I have nothing to compare it to, but the way my friends talk about it, it seems like it’s often a chore. They talk about faking orgasms or men that are only concerned about themselves. Not Benny. He says he loves the sounds I make as he pulls orgasm after orgasm out of me, pressing his body against and into mine against every surface of his house and his jeep, anywhere we can get away with it.

About 6 months in, it’s our turn to host the monthly BBQ for all the boys. Will usually brings his wife and kids, Santi just himself, and Tom brings his family, so it’s a pretty big to do. I remember at BBQ’s in the past, sometimes Benny would show up with some girl and how jealous I was of her. And this time, I’m still jealous, because they got to be with him in the open. No passing touches or whispers, no hiding glances or anything. But I’m feeling bold, so I put on my favorite sundress, the one Benny had hitched up around my hips as he bent me over his kitchen table the last time we were together. And judging by the look on his face, he too has this same memory when he sees me in the dress.

Everyone is outside, the kids screaming and running around, everyone else chatting, keeping an eye on the kids as my dad starts grilling. I feel Benny’s eyes on me as I set a few bowls of chips on the table, bending over just a little more than normal to expose more of my cleavage to him. I glance up at him and wink, turning and heading back into the house. I hear him come in behind me a couple minutes later, his eyes on me standing in the doorway to the hall. He silently follows me upstairs to my room, closing the door behind us and locking it before taking 2 steps towards me, pulling me to him and kissing me deeply. His hands fist in the sides of my dress, pulling it up higher on my hips.

“You think you’re so slick wearing this dress?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

I pull him down on me, parting my thighs to let him settle between them as my back settles into my bed. My fingers twist in his hair, his hand trailing up my bare thigh as I whimper in his ear.

“Wanna fuck in my bed. We haven’t done that yet.”

“Your dad’s outside.”

“So?”

“So what if he hears us?”

“I’ll deal with that then. Please fuck me Benny. I need you to fuck me.”

And so he does, pushing my panties aside and thrusting into me, one hand clamped over my mouth. I try to push him into me more, my hands gripping his ass, digging little marks into it when I come, legs spasming as Benny’s moans come right after, his hips rutting into mine as he fills me up.

“Let me get something to clean you up with.”

“Don’t. I want to feel you inside me.”

“Fuckin’ hell you’re gonna kill me.”

—----

My chest heaves as Benny rolls off me and lays on his side, trying to catch his own breath. He slides his hand across my body and gently squeezes one of my boobs, his thumb grazing over my nipple.

“You can’t possibly want to go again?” I ask, eyebrows raised.

“What? This is my emotional support tiddy.”

Laughter erupts from me and Benny joins in, his smile making me feel warm all over. This is nice, this is comfortable. Benny makes everything in my life good.

“You hungry? We did miss our dinner reservations.”

I chuckle. “Totally worth missing them.”

Benny props himself up on his elbow, his hand leaving my boob to start sliding down my bare stomach. “Oh I agre-”

GROWL!

My stomach has decided enough is enough and the sound it makes is loud in the quiet room. Benny laughs again, his head flying back with it before he brings his lips to my stomach, speaking to it.

“You hungry, girl? Should we get some food in ya?”

I ruffle his hair and he turns, his cheek resting on my stomach as his eyes meet mine. We stare at each other for a few moments before he chuckles. “Your stomach is so loud.”

“Ok, fine. I’m hungry,” I smile.

He sits up, giving me a quick kiss before rolling off the bed. “I’ll go make us something. You can shower if you’d like. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.” He leaves the room, sliding some pants on before he does. I make my way to his bathroom across the hall and take in my appearance, fixing my hair so it’s not too wild before sliding one of his shirts on. I make my way down the hall and stand in the entrance to the kitchen, watching Benny move about the kitchen, no shirt and sweatpants hanging low on his hips. He tosses a kitchen towel over his shoulder as he flips a pancake, one of his specialties, humming to himself as he does. His hair is sticking up at all angles, looking like he’d just rolled around in bed for hours. Which I guess, technically, he did. I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist, kissing his back before resting my cheek against it.

“You want strawberries or chocolate chips in yours, Lil?”

“Do I have to pick?”

He pauses for a moment. “Shit, why did I never think to combine those?” He adds both cut up strawberries and chocolate chips to his mix, pouring out another round of batter on the griddle. “I may have to steal one.”

“I’ll fight you for it.”

He slides the pancake off the spatula and spins, gripping my wrists before I can move. “I’d like to see- are you in my shirt?”

“Mmhmm.”

He drops my wrists and slides his hands around my hips, feeling for something. “Are you..are you not wearing any underwear?”

“How else am I supposed to feel you dripping down my legs?” Benny groans, gripping my jaw and pulling me in for a heated kiss, but the sound of a key jiggling in his front door lock kills the mood. In one quick motion, Benny is shoving me back through the doorway and down the hall, motioning for me to hide. I step into his room and close the door almost all the way just as the front door opens.

“Hey, Ben.”

“Hey..Fish.”

The door closes and I feel the color drain from my face. My dad is here and almost walked in on us fucking in the kitchen.

“Hope it’s ok I used my key? Normally you complain about having to get up and open the door.”

“No, no that’s fine. What, uh, what are you doing here?”

“Lil is at her friend’s studying this weekend so I thought we could watch the fight?”

“The fight?”

There’s a slight pause. “The big fight? Between Samson and Jueng?”

“Oh right. The fight. Yeah, I think the neighbors in 2B are having some kind of party.”

“That explains why the parking lot is slammed.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey listen, Frankie, I uh…I’m a little…” There’s a pause where Benny fumbles for words.

“Oh shit, I should’ve called, Ben. I just got bored and I remembered you said you were staying in this weekend. Thought we could hang.”

“No, no. It’s uh, it’s ok. Did..did you want some pancakes?”

“For dinner?”

“I already made some.”

“Sure, sounds good. Bathroom useable?”

“It’s clean, fucker.”

Dad’s chuckle gets closer and I step away from the crack in the bedroom door, like he could see me through it. When I hear the bathroom door close, I yank on some pants and grab my shoes, tiptoe running down the hall and meet Benny at the door.

“I’ll let you know when he leaves.”

I nod. “Sounds good. I still want pancakes.”

“Ok ok but you have to go now,” He’s practically pushing me out of the door, but just before it closes, he reaches out and grabs my arm, pulling me back and kissing me before letting me go, a smile as the door closes and I hear my dad’s voice coming back down the hall.

That was close.

—----

Several weeks later, I decided to grab some dinner on my way to Benny’s, neither of us feeling much like cooking. I wait at the counter of the diner, studying the pie menu while our burgers cook. It’s hard to pick out pie for Benny because he loves them all. Even Rhubarb. I decide on a slice of apple and a slice of buttermilk pie, placing the order with the waitress.

“No pecan?”

I jump, my head jerking to look at my dad, leaning against the counter, menu in hand and looking at me.

“Pecan?”

“You’re favorite?”

“Oh. Yeah I thought I’d try something new.”

He nods. “So, you weren’t going to tell your old man you were getting shitty food before coming home?”

“You’re here too.”

He laughs. “True.” His eyebrows furrow together as the waitress brings 2 large bags and reads off the order. I try to cut her off but she plows through, smiling at the end.

“Anything else, dear?”

“N-no. I’m good.” She walks off and I can feel my dad’s eyes on me.

“Hungry?”

“What?”

He nods towards the bags. “There’s enough food there for two. Especially with that last burger. Double cheese, double bacon, and extra pickles? That’s exactly what Benny orders so I know it’s entirely too much.”

I laugh nervously. “Uh yeah. That’s..that’s mine. Period.” He looks at me, understanding.

“And the other burger?”

“Uh surprise! I was going to bring food home.”

He smiles and I feel terrible. “We must have been thinking the same thing. Thanks, mija. Need some help?”

“Sure.”

He takes the burger bag and I take the other, walking me over to my car. He waits for me to get in and hands me the bag.

“See you at home!”

When he’s turned away and solidly heading to his truck, I pull out my phone and send a quick text to Benny.

Me: No burgers tonight. Dad came in. Had to tell him I was buying for us.

Benny Baby: Oh shit! Did he know?

Me: He recognized your order but nothing past that. I’m sorry! Can I come tomorrow?

Benny Baby: Oh I plan on making you come many times

—----

It was a couple weeks before we could manage to see each other again and we wasted no time in making up for it. Benny pressed himself between my thighs over and over, pulling as many sounds from me as he could before I just couldn’t take anymore, completely over stimulated. Only then did we get dressed and head out to dinner across town, his arm wrapped around my shoulders as we walked into my favorite Italian restaurant, laughing and sharing breadstick puns as we waited for our food. After force feeding ourselves some dessert, we walked back around the building, Benny pushing me against the side of his jeep, slotting his leg between my thighs as he pushes his tongue in my mouth, my hands fisting in his shirt. I can feel him getting harder against me and I wonder how unoccupied this parking lot is or if I even care.

“I thought that was you. You got a secret girlfriend?”

Benny freezes at his brother’s voice, pulling back slowly and looking into my eyes, fear and apologies swirling around in his baby blues. He tries his best to turn around without showing me, but the angle is weird and he can’t quite hide all of me, no matter how I try to angle myself.

“Wait…Lily?” Will says, completely shocked.

I sigh, stepping out from behind Benny. “It’s me.”

He’s not smiling, gripping the takeout bag he has in his hand a little tighter as he looks at Benny. “That’s Fish’s daughter, Ben.”

“I fuckin’ know, Will. Don’t you think I know?”

“You’re making out with Fish’s daughter. His daughter.”

“Yeah. And you’re not gonna tell him.”

“Why the fuck shouldn’t I? You shouldn’t be fucking around - shit, are you fucking around with her?”

I feel Benny’s body tense and I gently lace my fingers through his, a motion that doesn’t go unnoticed by Will.

“That’s Lily, Ben! You shouldn’t be…I gotta call Fish.”

Before he can move, I step in front of Benny and grip Will’s arm gently. He looks down at me, his grey blue eyes studying me as if he’s trying to see if I’ve been coerced.

“Please don’t, Will. I promise we will tell him. Eventually.”

“Tell him what, exactly?”

I glance back at Benny, giving him a small smile before looking back at Will. “We’re together. I am the secret girlfriend and the reason he hasn’t been around as much.”

Will looks from me to Benny and back. “He put you up to this?”

“Hey fuck you, man!”

I put my hand up, touching Benny’s chest. “No. If anything, I convinced him.”

“You’re Fish’s daughter, Lil.”

“I’m aware.”

“One of our best friend’s daughters.”

“That’s me.”

“I don’t know, I…”

“Will… please? I promise we will tell him. We’ve just…been enjoying each other and seeing where this takes us.”

He cocks his head slightly. “So it’s really not just sex?”

I shake my head. “No.”

He looks between us again, looking like he’s doing some mental math. “Alright but only for you, Lil. Benny knows better. But you have to promise you’re gonna tell him.”

I nod. “Yes, of course. Thank you, Will.” I give him a hug and he returns it with one arm, the other still holding a heavy bag of take out. His eyes never leave Benny’s and I watch as they grow hard.

“I love you, Ben. But if you hurt her, I’m not gonna hold back Fish.”

Benny nods. “That’s fair.”

—----

I love him. He tried telling me I’d grow out of him, but I didn’t. If anything I fell more in love with him as time went on. Benny let his final walls down, telling me how much he loves me, how I accept him, all of him, and how he thought he’d never find that. I don’t know how we made it 8 months without telling anyone or anyone figuring it out, aside from Will.

It wasn’t until my dad came home early, finding Benny and me making out on the couch that I remembered why we were keeping it a secret. Thank God he didn’t come home 2 minutes later.

“What the fuck is this?” He slams the door behind him, the walls rattling and Benny and I spring apart, Benny jumping up as my dad storms towards him. “SHE’S MY DAUGHTER, BEN!”

Benny has his hands out in a placating manner. “I know, but-”

“My daughter! She is not for you!”

“No, but-”

Anger rises up from my chest. “You have no say over who I get with!”

He looks at me, his dark eyes fuming. “I do when it’s my best friend and my daughter! You’re only 21, Lily!”

“So? I am not some thing you can pass around! My life is my own! I can date and fuck whomever I want!”

His eyes go wide, cheeks flushing with built up anger as he turns his rage towards Benny. “Wait…have you slept with her?”

“Wh-what?”

His voice raises, loud enough I know the neighbors are listening in. “Have you fucked my daughter, Ben?”

The color drains from Benny’s face. “Let’s talk about thi-”

BAM! My dad’s fist collides with Benny’s face, his head flying back. Luckily, Benny knows how to take a punch, thanks to his days as an MMA fighter. He straightens up, dodging the next swing from my dad, his hands still up trying to placate him.

“Dad!” I push past him and stand in front of Benny, turning his face towards me to inspect his lip, which is now bleeding, a dark circle starting to appear under his eye. I round on my dad.

“What the fuck dad?”

“Don’t dad me! You’ve been lying to me for months! Sleeping with Benny? He’s my best friend, Lily!”

“I know, but-”

“You just never stop to think about the consequences. What did you think was gonna happen? He’s 13 years older than you!”

“Yes, but-”

“He’s done some shit, but putting his hands on my daughter is the thing I’m gonna kill him for.”

“Ok, dad. Kitchen. Now. Benny? First aid kit in the bathroom.” I push on my dad’s chest, willing him to move. He glares over my shoulder at Benny as he moves into the kitchen, but doesn’t sit.

“What the fuck, Lily?”

“I know, but let me explain.”

“Benny?”

“I love him, dad.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, his other hand on his hip in his typical dad pose. “I know you think you love him mija, but it’s just infatuation. You’re young.”

“Do you remember a few years ago, you asked me why I had boyfriends but none of them seemed to stick? And I told you I didn’t like them or want any of them?”

He thinks for a moment. “Yeah.”

“What did I say after that?”

“I said maybe you haven’t found the right person and you said no it’s because…” I raise my eyebrows at him until he continues. “...because you were in love with someone else.”

“You told me to go for it and I said I couldn’t because there’s no way he likes me the same way and it would be complicated.”

His shoulders slump, a little bit of the anger seeping from him. “Benny?”

“Benny.”

“How do you know he feels the same way?”

“Didn’t you tell me a few months ago how good he looks? That he said he was seeing someone but wasn’t ready to bring her around everyone yet? But that he hasn’t looked this happy in the entire time you’ve known him?”

“Fuck. It was you?”

“Me. We love each other, dad. We have for years, but didn’t say it until my birthday.”

“Wait. You told me Benny let you stay over because you were drunk. Did he-”

“No. I barely drank. My friends ditched me and he saw me. We went for dinner and then back to his place where..confessions were made.”

“You lied to me?”

“You didn’t ask me if I slept with him, dad.”

“Dammit. I hate when you’re right.”

“Are…are we going to be ok?”

He pulls me to him in a bear hug, kissing the top of my head. “I’ll always love you, mija. But your boyfriend I may have to warm up to. God that feels weird to say.”

Benny pokes his head around the corner. “Is it safe?”

Dad turns his head to him, hugging me tighter. “I haven’t decided if I want to kill you yet.”

“Well while you’re deciding, can I just say how much I love her? She’s smart and funny, and she makes the world bright again. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“You’re damn right she is. So what if I told you I don’t want you dating her?”

“Dad-”

“Sshh. I’m asking him.”

“With all due respect, Fish. I’d tell you to go fuck yourself and date her anyway. I love you, you’re my best friend, but she’s the one for me and I won’t let anything come between us unless she wants it to.”

He lets me go and stomps up to Benny, who is a few inches taller than him. He glares up at him for a few moments before extending his hand out.

“Ok.”

“Ok?"

“Just do me a favor and don’t kiss in front of me?”

“Deal.”

“Speak for yourself, Ben. I plan on making out with you whenever I can.”

A year later we’re married, both of us eternally grateful for my friends ditching me on my birthday that night.

—----

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General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed @ladykatakuri @marrianena @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics @sullyosully @kmc1989

#benny miller #ben miller #benny miller x reader #benny miller x you #benny miller x f!reader #triple frontier #garrett hedlund #benjamin miller #benjamin benny miller #garrett hedlund x reader #garrett hedlund x you #garrett hedlund characters #garrett hedlund character fanfic #garrett hedlund character ff #garrett hedlund character fanfiction

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kpop---scenarios · 8 months

Text

Linked (1)

Pairing: Byun Baekhyun x Y/N

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Eventual Smut, Mean people, Language.

A/N: I'm back baby! I hope you all enjoy the first chapter!!

"Miss Y/N?" A woman says, breaking you out of your concentration of looking at tikok’s.

Startled, you look up and standing before you is a very pretty, well dressed woman holding files between her petite fingers. "Are you ready for your interview?" She asks.

Taking a small breath, as you nod your head and smile at the woman. "I'm Ava, and I'll be conducting your interview on Mr. Byun's behalf." She says, walking through the office hallways. It's so plain, the white walls just dying for at least a pop of color, or even a picture of some sort. Ava leads you into a plain white room, nothing in it but the necessary items. Did you really want to work somewhere so boring? You were lost in your thoughts again after answering only a few routine questions.

"I think you'd be a perfect fit for this job." Ava smiles. You'd only been talking for 15 minutes before she decided.

"Thank you." You smile.

"I'd like to offer you the position as the Senior Data Analyst. You'd be working directly under Mr. Byun." She tells you.

"Sure. Yes, thank you so much." You say. One thing checked off your list. Find a job, find an apartment, and get settled in this new town. Luckily you had an apartment view right after this interview, and considering you were hired on the spot you had an extremely good feeling.

The apartment sucked, but you took it anyway. You would try your best to make the small studio apartment feel like home, but you weren't quite sure how. You weren't the most stylish, if you really had to describe yourself, you were quite bland. You knew the clothes you wore were a size or two too big, but you had no urge to change yourself. For what, or for who? You had no one in your life to care about, you didn't even care about yourself.

You laid in your bed that night, staring at the popcorn ceiling, as you remembered why you moved here in the first place, and your heart broke all over again.

Slowly and quietly you pressed your ear to the bedroom door at this party.

"Stop telling Y/N she has a chance with me. Please, it makes me sick to even think about it." You hear Hongjoong laugh loudly. "I can't even listen to her talk for more than 30 seconds at a time. I don't know how you do it. Her voice is so fucking annoying."

"Right? I swear to go sometimes I feel like my ears are bleeding. And you should see her when she cries. So fucking ugly." You hear Maya giggle.

"And is it just me or is she fucking dumb? How could she love me for all these years and not realize how repulsed I am by her?" He asks.

Ouch.

“I know math isn’t her best subject but Christ, can't she add up all the things you don’t do around her and see you’re not into her, and never will be? I mean, you try to leave the room whenever she enters." Maya laughs. "So there's no chance of you leaving me for her?"

"You think I'm gonna leave a goddess like you, for that thing? Come on, baby, you should know me better than that. Plus, she doesn't have a set of tits like these." He laughs.

As quickly as the hurtful words began, they stopped. You weighed your options of what to do but your body still felt too numb to move.

You stood there, your ear pressed against the door feeling your stomach sink. You wanted to run away but it was like your feet were glued to the floor.

The floor that made your knees feel weak as you turned the door knob and pushed the door open to see Maya, on top of Hongjoong.

The music that was once pounding in your ears was now quiet. It was so muffled as you began to only hear your own shallow and fast breaths. You could hear and feel your heart pumping at a pace you were sure was off the charts, while also slowly ripping into tiny pieces.

You felt like you couldn't breathe as his hands gripped her body. They hadn't heard the door opening.

The walls were suddenly caving in as he slowly slid his fingers up and down her curves moving over her ass to squeeze it.

Tears fell from your eyes as you watched him touching her in ways that you had once dreamt about.

Your face begins to burn in complete embarrassment. The fucking betrayal you felt from someone who said they loved you. Maya was supposed to be your best friend. She was the one who was by your side when you cried, wondering why he didn't love you back. She held you as you sobbed into her lap, she wiped your tears away and always had comforting words for you. She would laugh at his Instagram page with you and acted as if she didn't even like him.

But here she was ripping you apart with him for their own enjoyment.

Tears streamed from your face as you rolled over in your bed. You hated remembering that day. The day you lost your best friend. It hurt so bad and you know you needed to move on but that's always easier said than done.

The next morning you woke up, exhausted and not ready for the day but you had your first day of work. You'd tried to look up Mr. Byun last night, but there were no pictures of him anywhere. You thought that was a little odd, but didn't chalk it up too much. You got ready for the day in record time, putting on your too big skirt, with your too big shirt and oversized blazer. You put your hair up the best you could and avoided all makeup.

Slowly, you walk into the building, making your way to the 35th floor, where your office was supposed to be. The entire floor was empty when you arrived. Just the way you liked it. You popped in your airpods, started your music and got to work organizing the 5 items on your desk. It took you roughly 3 minutes. You glanced at the clock, 6:55am. You still had 35 minutes until you were technically supposed to start, but it never hurt to get a head start. You worked for a little bit, listening to your favorite songs before you barely noticed a few people entering their cubicles. You mostly ignored them, offering a small nod of acknowledgement before getting back to work. You hadn't noticed anyone walking into the all glass office in front of you, until you felt your heart tug. A feeling you had never once felt before. You looked up and saw the most handsome, stone-cold looking man you'd ever seen. You couldn't take your eyes off of him, it was like you were drawn to him.

"Handsome, huh?" You hear, breaking you out of your trance.

"Who? What?" You say, looking up. Standing in front of you is a thin, blonde bombshell with a smile that could make you forget any worry in your life. “Hi. I’m Y/N.” You cough. She was so beautiful, it made you extremely nervous.

"Hi, I'm Lisa, I work in that cubicle to your left." She says with a smile. “I just wanted to bring these over for approval from you, and introduce myself.” She explains, showing a small pile of papers in her hand. You were listening to her, but you had a hard time keeping yourself engaged in the conversation. Your eyes continued to dart towards the man who took your breath away and Lisa definitely noticed. She let out a small giggle to regain your attention. You swiftly looked back at her, giving her an apologetic smile.

"That's Mr. Byun.” She tells you. “Do your work, don’t get in his way and don’t question him and you’ll be just fine.” she tells you.

“He looks mad.” You say, taking a quick glance at him before looking back to Lisa.

“That’s just his face I think. He always looks like he’s got a painful stick up his ass." She whispers.

"Why did you start whispering?" You asked.

She sets the pile of papers on your desk, looking back towards Mr. Byun's office and looking back at you. "He hears everything." She whispers again, walking out of your office with a smile.

Your eyes turned over to Mr. Byun, you were having a hard time turning your gaze somewhere else. There was just something about him that was driving you crazy. You watched as he shouted at someone on the phone, the veins in his neck and hands popping out intensely. His dark brown hair flowed perfectly on his head. His suit fit him perfectly, you could see the muscles all over his body.

Suddenly he slammed the phone down onto the receiver, you were surprised it didn’t break with the amount of force he used. He rubs his eyes before running his fingers through his hair. He looks up, his eyes meeting yours without hesitation. Your heart pulls toward him. You wanted to get out of your seat and slip your tongue into his mouth. You wanted to be near him, holding him and you didn't know why. His eyes are still on yours as he walks out of his office, heading straight for you. Your heart begins to pound as he gets closer to you.

"Who are you?" He asks, abruptly. You're looking directly in his eyes, you can’t help but almost get lost in them. They’re so dark, like they're filled with pure hatred.

"Uh, I'm L/N Y/N. I'm your new Senior Data Analyst. " You respond. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Byun."

"We’ll see about that. Get to work Miss. L/N." He says, walking out of your office and back to his. Your eyes meet again as he brings down his shade, his eyes still glued to yours.

The rest of the day, you couldn't get him off your mind. You had a hell of a time trying to focus on any of your work. You just wanted to see him again. Anytime you let your mind wonder, it went to him immediately. You felt like you loved him but you didn't even know him.

After you had finally finished all your work, it was dark outside. You let out a big, loud yawn as you stretched your body from your desk. You gathered all your belongings and turned the lights out to your office. As you walked by Mr. Byun’s office, you noticed the lights were still on. You peaked in through a small patch of glass that was uncovered from the shade and saw him sitting at his desk with another extremely handsome man, sitting across from him. You knew you shouldn’t have been peaking in, but your curiosity got the better of you. Within seconds, Mr. Byun’s head whipped around, his eye’s shooting daggers towards you.

You let out a small screech before you quickly take off to the elevator, hoping that either it comes fast or he doesn't come out of his office after you. You get onto the elevator and press the close door button as quickly as you can.

You made it home that night without incident and without Mr. Byun yelling at you for being nosey. You just needed to mind your business and not do that again.

You dreamt of him that night. His hands gliding over your body, his tongue licking you everywhere, how he tasted, how it felt to have him on top of you. You woke up in a puddle of sweat the next morning. You had so wished it was real.

The rest of the week went by, and he paid you no attention at all. He didn't even bring up your little snooping issue. Whenever he had a request from you, he sent Ava to ask you. Obviously he couldn’t be bothered to do it himself. You hated that. You wanted to see him again.

He kept the shades of his glass office down, further avoiding any contact with you. It wasn’t until the next week that you’d finally be able to see him again. Lisa had ever-so apologetically placed a stack of papers on your desk, minutes before 5pm. You weren't one to just leave the papers for the morning, and honestly, you had no one waiting for you at home so why wouldn't you stay late and do them. Around 8pm, you’d finally finished and you were carefully planning Lisa’s murder for the next day. You were exhausted. You grabbed your coat off the back of your chair and rubbed your eyes while you walked towards the elevator. You were so tired you didn’t even look in Mr. Byun’s office as you passed it. You had expected him to have left hours ago anyways. You pressed the down button on the wall and waited silently. It wasn't until a few seconds later you felt someone standing behind you. The doors to the elevator ding, sliding open. You turn around and see him standing there, an unimpressed expression plastered on his face.

He looks at you and at the open elevator doors, motioning for you to get in. your brain finally clicks and you get on as he follows behind you. You press the button for the first floor and prepare for an uncomfortable and silent ride down 34 floors. Mr.Byun takes a deep breath as he stands next to you, your arms just almost touching. “Why are you here?” he murmurs under his breath. You barely didn’t quite catch what he had said.

“What was that?” You ask, turning your head to look at him.

He sighs. Turning towards you, taking a few steps until you're backed into the wall. He places his hand next to your head, leaning himself in closer to you.

“I said.. Why are you here?” he whispers, his lips so close to yours. “Do you have any fucking idea what youre doing to me?” he asks, breathing heavily. His head moves closer to you, his lips narrowly escaping yours as he places his head onto your neck, inhaling deeply. It was like he couldn't get enough of your smell. Before you could say anything the elevator dings, and he moves away from you as fast as he can, walking out into the lobby, leaving you there wondering what the fuck just happened.

Over the next several weeks after that incident, he kept trying his best to ignore you. Everyday. Occasionally you’d catch a glance of him, and the eye contact was so intense you could feel heat running through your entire body. Everyday that you didn’t see him, your heart hurt more and more. You couldn’t explain why but it felt like it was breaking you. You knew it was ridiculous, he was your boss, how could you love him?

You didn't have an answer to why you did, but you did and you really didn't want to.

After working at your office for a few months, you decided you needed a change. You were tired of looking frumpy and exhausted while everyone around you looked bright and amazing. You needed to reinvent yourself, and spice up your life and you needed to do it now or you wouldn’t do it at all. That weekend you took the plunge.

You went to the salon first. you got your hair done something that was better suited for you, a new style and new color. You went to the mall, and completely changed your wardrobe from the baggy clothes you were wearing to things you normally would never wear. You bought outfits that actually fit you, and showed off your body instead of hiding it. You bought proper bras and sexy panties. You felt good and different, but a good different. You couldn't wait to showcase the new you. You had never felt so confident in yourself before, and you loved it.

Monday morning, you strutted into the office, your dress hugging your curves, your hair bouncing as you walked. You could feel all eyes on you as you walked to your office. You had never felt everyone watching you in a good way before and it felt amazing. You placed your jacket on the hook and sat in your chair to get to work. Lisa walked into your office with her mouth hanging wide open.

“Girl.” She squeals. “You look phenomenal!” She eye’d you up and down, admiring your outfit.

You could feel your cheeks get hot from the compliment. “Thank you.” you laughed. “It feels weird, but good.” you tell her.

“It should feel all good, girl. You look great.” she smiles. “Also Ava is out today, so i've been instructed to tell you that Mr. Byun needs to see you in his office.” She says, side eyeing his office.

You try your best to swallow the lump in your throat as you nod your head. You hadn't seen him when you walked in, and you anxiously wondered what he would possibly think of your new look. You stood up, smoothed out your dress before heading towards his office. You stood in front of the door, breathing heavily as you knocked lightly on his door.

“Come in.” you hear from a gruff voice.

You turn the handle to his door and walk in and it’s like you can’t breathe. He sits there, his hands in his lap, leaning back in his chair. Fuck he looks so good.

“You wanted to see me?” you ask.

“You changed yourself.” he points out. His eyes trail your body up and down as he admires you.

“Just a few things. What did you need to see me for, Mr. Byun?” you ask. You wanted to get out of there as fast as you could. Your heart was racing, you could feel the sweat covering the palms of your hands.

“Call me Baekhyun.” he says, getting out of his chair. He walks towards you, almost in slow-motion, like he was gliding towards you. You step back as he gets closer to you. His head reaches out, caressing your face.

“It’s getting too hard to fight, Y/N.” he whispers, looking deep into your eyes. “I don’t want to want you.”

“I don’t want to want you either.” You admit.

“You feel it too? The pull, the urge, the desperation?�� he asks. You can’t speak, you can only nod your head. “Then it’s true.. You are my mate.”

“I'm your what..” you ask. Before he can answer, his door swings open. Baekhyun backs away from you and in walks a brunette bombshell. She was absolutely stunning and you’d never seen her before.

“Jennie.” Baekhyun says, clearing his throat. “What are you doing here?” he asks.

“Poor girl looks frightened, Baeky.” she smiles. “I hope you're not scaring your staff too much.” she giggles.

“Who are y..” you begin before she cuts you off.

“Oh!” she laughs. “I’m Jennie Kim.” she announces, moving closer to Baekhyun, wrapping her arm around him.

“I’m his fiancee.”

#baekyhun #exo smut #exowritersnet #baekhyun smut #byun baekhyun #exo #exo writing #baekhyun writing #kpopscenarios #kpopscape #noonasinnetwork

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starsomens · 8 months

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bestie, now you have to share some noah x face sitting hcs 😔🤲

(only if you want to of course)

BESTIE SAY LESS ILL DO SOME RIGHT HERE AAAHHH

OKAY SO!

Bringing it up wise I think he'll just say it out loud or asks you to do it. "babe, would you sit on me?"

"yeah, I already do"

"No, no, I mean on my face"

"0-0 oh-"

OR OR! you like threaten him like "I will sit on you!"

"okay do it then. Right on my face, do it."

I picture him to be the type that would honestly enjoy it.

HATES when you hover >:(

"Y/N, you either sit right now, Or I'm going to hold you down."

even if you do sit down, he's still holding you hips against his face.

HAS A HABIT of stopping if you break eye contact. So he'll keep you there for a good while just teasing, b ringing you VERY CLOSE- then bringing you far away

RIDE HIS FACE! likes when you take some control and just use his face to get off

will leave you dry because he literally licks you clean

call it your special seat 😏

If you're ever feeling insecure or just not as confident he'll tell you to sit on his face so you could praise and worship you while he pleasures you. will not hesitate to pleasure himself at the same time, because when you feel good so does he

will sometimes lets your cum dry on his face and says your marking your territory.

Thinks he gets more cum this way because its coming downward and he can just keep you in place while he has his way with you

Will moan into you and just makes the experience better

"what if you can't breath, I don't wanna squeeze your head too hard" no matter how many times you say this he will always say

"I'd rather suffocate from eating you out than live"

LOVES when your thighs squeeze his head, as he describes it feels "warm and safe like a weighted blanket"

You may or may not have some pictures and polaroids of him under you. WHICH are hidden in a small box of other memories you have that are only shared with you both 😏😏

has had it slip when around the guys

"gonna get home, Y/N is gonna sit on my face" he was mumbling to himself and Ruffilo was passing by and just stopped and they just kinda stared at each other

"🧍‍♂️"

It wasn't spoken of again after that, and Noah watched who was around him before he spoke to himself or with you

#noahsebastian #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian #star’s anons✨#bad omens

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desire-mona · 6 days

Text

realising none of u have seen my writing before which is. a good thing probably. anyway i thrive best in letter writing format so here's a letter todd wrote to neil after he took a gun induced nap

(obvious tw for death and suicide and general grief adjacent feelings)

December 20th, 1959

Neil,

I’ve tried to write this about 7 separate times now, but I feel like I can never get the right combination of words to properly describe how I’m feeling. I don't really know why I’m writing this in the first place, I know you won't be able to read it. I guess I don't need a reason. I don't think I’ll be able to get it right no matter how many times I try, so forgive me if this doesn't make sense.

It's been about 5 days since you killed yourself passed and I still can't confidently say that it feels real. Mr. Keating got fired, Charlie got expelled, Cameron was behind all of it, and I can’t even bring myself to hate him for it. I'm angry, obviously, I’ve never been more furious with anyone in my life, but something in me knows that you wouldn't have hated him either. Things like that have been running through my mind a lot, I find myself operating under what I think you would’ve done, or at least wanted me to do. I hope I’m getting it right. I yelled at Cameron after he ratted us out, and it wasn't like those times before, nobody expected it of me. I like to think you would’ve been proud of me for that.

It's really quiet without you here, in ways that I didn't think I’d notice. You were never all that loud, which I appreciated, but even the small things being gone make me feel like I'm going insane. It's hard getting to sleep without hearing your breathing from across the room. Is that creepy? Sorry. Sometimes I open the window just so I can hear anything but silence. I usually just end up wondering how people can go about their days when someone so important is dead. How are people laughing and enjoying themselves when it feels like my entire world came to a screeching halt? How dare they continue with their lives without even acknowledging how much has changed? That’s about when I close the window, our the room starts to get cold after a while.

I'm trying to stay that more confident version of myself that you were helping me become, I could tell you liked a more outgoing Todd. I think he was buried with you, and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to dig him back up. I hope that’s okay, I know how patient you were with me. Thank you for that by the way, you were the first person to give me the time of day when it came to that. It was really special, I wish I had the chance to tell you. There are a lot of things I wish I had the chance to tell you, you were the only person I ever wanted to say things like that to. I'm really sorry that I never did, I realize now that it probably would’ve done you some good to hear it. God only knows how little kindness your father gave you, if I had known how bad it was then I would’ve you deserved better than that. You deserved a lot more than what the world gave you, I think we all do. No amount of sorry’s can fix that.

I miss being near you.

I miss you.

I miss having you around. I’d forgive you if you came back and told us it was all a joke. I wouldn’t be mad at all, I promise.

- Todd Anderson

#desire mona #ugh idk how i feel abt this sorry #is it even in character?#whatever #dead poets society #todd anderson #neil perry #anderperry #writin

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fourlittleocto · 6 months

Text

i'm really bad at headcanons in general so i'm sorry if these are not good, but thank you for the ask! also with midterms i've been super busy so i hope everyone can keep being patient with me, i promise i am working on asks it just might be another week <3

starting with some cute ones (thank you @pyrefection)

dew loves to rub soft stuff on his face. if the closest soft thing happens to be a person, so be it. he doesn't want them to touch him, just let him hold their hand and rub it over his face. this always somehow turns into their fingers in his mouth, since they're softer and nicer than his

with that thought, even though he doesn't need to teethe he still wants to stick everything in his mouth, just to see what it's like. some sort of instinct. however his fear of getting in trouble trumps this need, which means he'll spend way longer than most cgs have patience for crawling over to objects that look good, holding them up, and then pouting when he's told no, he can't put that in his mouth until it either has to be pried out of his weirdly strong grip or mountain (because let's be honest he thinks this is adorable and is the only one who actually tolerates it) gives in and let's him put it in his mouth "but just once dewbug!" it's better that he's doing this when someone's watching anyway, and then he'll never need to try again

dew loves to draw and hates coloring. he doesn't like that he can't control his hands enough to keep it in the lines, especially since little rain is a little ocd and always gives him judgemental stares when they color together. he loves to draw though, and even though they're usually just colorful squiggles aurora (his new favorite caregiver) has taught him how to draw some shapes and to associate certain colors with certain emotions, so he feels like he can communicate when he's drawing and it's really relaxing to his troubled brain

i also love moonbeam's hc that tiny dew loves to clap. it's a movement that's easy, and it's small and loud just like he is, and he knows how to clap sarcastically to get a laugh. whenever anyone in the pack does something stupid he claps and giggles, and it sends aurora into a laughing fit every time.

i put some stuff about dew's childhood/regression under the cut cause it's a little heavy/sad so feel free to skip it

just as background, i think dew goes really small, like usually he can't walk or talk but sometimes he can get as big as 3, where he's toddling, but even then he can't talk cause as a child his parents refused to talk to him so he didn't learn to until he was interacting with other kits. It's part of why now he's really slow at reading and gets frustrated when he has to describe something cause words just don't come easily to him. it's also the reason that when he's tiny he likes to hide, he doesn't want anyone to see him so vulnerable so they can't use it against him. (however, this has made him incredible at hide and seek. one of the older littles or aurora will hold him and follow where he points and they always win)

he also can't drop on purpose, it's entirely trauma/stimuli-based. i definitely think it's something that started for him after the elemental change, but no one except mountain knew about it until aurora was summoned. She mothered him about his attitude while he was big enough times that one night, while in the middle of a bad flashback, he babbled something just coherent enough for mountain to know he was asking for her, so now they trade off taking care of him and know who he needs based on what happened/what kind of mood he's in (it's always bad, but sometimes it's MUCH WORSE than others, and aurora has to take him when he's specifically having elemental change flashbacks cause mountain still has too much attachment to the events and they trigger flashbacks for him too)

either way, since aurora has joined the pack she's helped dew not feel so scared about being small, to the point where even if he can't be with a group of adults, he's able to sit with her and watch little rain and phantom and cumulus play. she's also slowly teaching him to do things that 1 to 2-year-olds are supposed to be able to do, and it's helped him feel like he has a lot of control over it even if he still can't control the action of his mind dropping.

#regressed ghouls #octo sfw #dewdrop ghoul #little dew #ghost headcanons

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thotsforvillainrights · 29 days

Note

I just gotta say I absolutely love what you did with the blog change, the new banner thingies you do for each character looks really nice!! :D

And might I request just some general smut headcanons for my man's Goto, chrono and chisaki?

(Thank you! Now if only I could stay consistent with updating the masterlist or writing in general. THEN it would be 100% the best haha! Until then, I can only dream. Ramblings aside, I feel like I've done something for Chisaki and Chrono at least once in the past before but I'm too lazy to search the masterlist. So just in case, let's do it again!)

~Muscular/Chisaki/Hari Smut Headcanons~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up|drabble

-This has probably been mentioned in the past but should be brought up again...you have to have a certain type of thick skin to put up with this man. This is regarding the relationship in general. At least as far as LOV asshole status goes, you might have a better chance trying to reason with Shigaraki or Dabi. With Muscular, you absolutely cannot take things to heart. He's gruff...he's a gruff man and that's the best way to describe it with him. Now leading into the smut:

-Being hardheaded and stubborn means he has a certain way he wants to go about things. That means if you ever had any hopes of topping him then you're just shit out of luck. 99.9% of the time during sex he's calling the shots. That other small percentage was the one singular time he let you take over on your anniversary. Even THEN he still ended up leading near the end of things. He just can't help being in control most of the time/all the time. Hopefully that doesn't get to you too much because otherwise it may lead to an unwinnable argument.

-He's a little rougher with the things he does. That bein said, he's not a monster! You don't have to worry about him doing anything despicable like taking things too far when you're not for it, or hurting you during it (on purpose at least). He obviously cares enough to be in a relationship with you so no worries there. Also, he's fine implementing some form of a safeword if you feel you really need it. He's grimey but again, he's not a monster.

-Bravo for getting him to be in a relationship with you in the first place. Bravo for even getting him to notice you long enough to hold a conversation without looking at you in disgust. He's surprised by his own actions and so are you (no more so than Pops. The old man is the most shocked by everything). Anyhow, he cares for you but can tend to be selfish with things. Give him a break as he's still learning how to love and how to go about things in a relationship both sexual and nonsexual.

-Beforehand he's going to obviously request you get cleaned up. Don't try to get him with the "but Kai, we're both just going to get dirty again" speech because it's not going to work unfortunately. It's like a chore but you'll come to find that the headache is worth the reward. Once between the sheets you realize he's learned so much since the last few times. He's sickened by the thought (and embarrassed too) but he's spent some time researching just for you. He applies what he's learned and then proceeds to perfect it bit by bit. He won't let anything he does to you be taken terribly whatsoever. He wants to be able to KNOW he's done a good job pleasing you.

-His pace can tend to be a bit slower sometimes, along the line of making love rather than straight up fucking. However, his tune changes easily based on how the night is going and how badly he wants to finish. Speaking of finishing, don't ask him to finish anywhere but in you or in a condom. Splashing bodily fluids all over the place creates unnecessary mess so unfortunately (if you're into facials) you won't be getting one unless you wear into him for a long while until he breaks. Oh, and expect the cleanup to come afterwards too. A mandatory shower before aftercare cuddles is the main thing to expect. As mentioned beforehand, the headache is worth the reward.

-Talk about fun sex, this is the man to fulfill that. It's rare he can be anything but teasing both in and out of the bedroom. Dating him is like dating a best friend. He's pretty much the best partner of the 3. He's attentive and listens to your needs. Don't get me wrong, he's still a little bit of an ass but a teasing one at that. It may get to be annoying how many times he tires to get into your pants once the two of you start dating but if you let him know the jokes annoy you then he'll try to cool off on them for you. He understands not to push his limits too much when it comes to you.

-A lot of times he'll try to draw a little laughter out of you during sex. That way once you're laughing he can swiftly turn it into moans for him. It's like a challenge for this man almost. The sex blindsides you too. One minute you'll be outside in the backyard chatting and laughing on the picnic blanket and then the next thing you know you're giving him a handy in the shed. Other times you're chilling on the couch playing games or watching a movie before you find yourself on the carpet while he puts his tongue to work. Sometimes you might find yourself walking into it thinking you'll just have a quick shower together before suddenly your back is against the wall while he's plowing into you beneath the warm water flowing from the showerhead. Roll the dice on it.

-Despite this, he's really a great person to date outside of sex. If for whatever reason you were seeking a friends with benefits type of relationship, I can see him falling in love rather quickly. Maybe it happens more quickly than you think.

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #overhaul #kai chisaki #muscular bnha #goto imasuji #hari kurono #chronostasis bnha #smut #minors dni #minor dni #headcanons

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kreideprinzessin · 9 months

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🌼 So this is love 🌼

Pairing: Albedo x reader

Content: Pre-relationship, realization of feelings, just very soft, features Klee as well, gender neutral reader

Word count: 868

Note: *taps mic* Hello, hello, does this thing still work? Hell yeah I'm back, in true Fern fashion with some soft Albedo because that's my jam :) Hope you enjoy!

Albedo never really cared for love. It was a foreign concept for him that he only read about in books, but nothing more than that. Nothing worth his time when he's always so busy with research and experiments, and important things like discovering the truth of this world (Or at least discovering what that's supposed to mean.) Between all that, there's no time for butterflies and anxiety, and whatever else the romance novels describe. Not to mention, it seems like love makes other people act a little silly.

Like Glory, who sits there day in and day out talking about how she can't wait for Godwin to come home, when probably everyone in Mondstadt knows that the very man she was waiting now has been meandering just outside of town for months, too scared to come back due to stupid pride, even tho he knows that his fiancé is scared out of her mind for him. Or Timaeus, who scribbles love poems next to his alchemy notes and gets distracted all the time, not even noticing when the potions he was mixing are threatening to boil over. Love seems to make people lose all sense, so Albedo has decided that he's better off without it.

Maybe that's why, as the two of you grew closer, he didn't recognize the signs at all, despite having read and heard about them so many times. The infamous butterflies that make him feel weird things whenever you smile at him. The way he suddenly falls into a daze while working as well, breaking out of it only to find small doodles of your face littered all across his notes. Or how sometimes his every thought gets consumed by a deep desire to just wrap his arms around you and never let go.

But love is such a foreign concept, so far out of his grasp that surely, that can't be it, right?

It's an innocent comment from Klee that makes him question his feelings for the first time.

"Big brother Albedo?" she asks, looking up at him with big eyes as they're walking home one day.

"What is it, Klee?" He smiles down at her.

"Can we invite y/n to our picknick tomorrow? Please?"

Albedo is a little taken aback. Usually Klee deeply treasures their little family outings. She refuses to let anyone get between her private time with Albedo, to a point where she even rejected Kaeya's request to tag along once. "You really like y/n a lot, huh?" He asks with a small chuckle. "I never saw you try to invite someone along to our outings."

"I like that they make you smile. It makes Klee happy too", the little girl responds, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Also, they make really good snacks so I want them to bring some to our picknick." She adds it more like an afterthought, like it's only secondary to her other reason.

Maybe it meant nothing to Klee, but it leaves Albedo thinking. Does he really smile that much when he's around you? People have commented before that he only ever genuinely smiles when he's around Klee, but no one has ever pointed out the same with you. Although, now that it's been called to his attention... He really does feel a lot happier around you. There's something about you that makes it easy for him to let down his guard. It's a strange realization and he still doesn't understand the meaning of it, but he takes a mental note of it and decides that it requires further investigation.

From that day onward, you're always invited to the family outings with Klee and Albedo. It becomes perfectly natural, like you've always been there. Like it's always been just the three of you, exploring Mondstadt together, having fun little picknicks or arts and crafts afternoons.

It's on one of these days that the realization finally hits Albedo. You're sitting on Albedo's couch, Klee fast asleep in your arms while he makes a cup of tea for the both of you. Albedo watches as you run a hand through the girl's hair, a gentle smile on your face as she snuggles closer into your arms. The soft glow of a candle bathes you in a warm light and he's overcome with the familiar urge to join you, to pull you into his arms and hold you close. That urge has been getting a lot more frequent lately, and he was never able to fully make sense of it.

But at this moment, something clicks for him. The urge to be close to you. The thought of how beautiful you look consuming his mind. The smile still tugging at his lips. The butterflies threatening to burst through his chest. All the pieces fall into place and the realization hits him out of nowhere.

He's in love with you.

#albedo x reader #albedo x you #albedo x y/n #albedo x gn reader #genshin x reader

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illicitlimerence-writes · 2 years

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yellow | m. schumacher

pairing: mick schumacher x reader word count: 2.4k words request: yes, by anons: "hiii! can i please get a mick imagine based on my love won’t let you down by little mix? thank you so so much!" & "could I please request a fic with mick, where the reader has an anxiety attack that doesn’t look like a panic attack from the outside but mick knows and comforts them? im in much need for a comfort fic rn" & "heyyyy love reading your stories, they make my week!! please could you write more mick and charles. also do you think you could base some off songs (i.e. take my hand by 5sos or even sadder ones like yellow by coldplay) please keep writing!!!" & by @astervrs: "hi!! i love your writing style and your fanfics so much, and i get really excited whenever you post something new <3 could you please write a mick fanfic with the angst prompt 6. "you're lying to me again. why can't you just tell me truth for once?" and fluff prompt 31. "i'm never going to leave you. i promise" where basically y/n feels really insecure about her own image and relationship due to social media comments and keeps it to herself and when mick asks she just says she's fine until it's visible that something troubles her." warnings: this one's pretty sad. please read the reqs above bc it's pretty much everything they described. panic attack, blood, body image, i tried to keep it vague, but still don't read this if you think this might upset you. a/n: it's sad hours ladies and gentlebitches.

my masterlist

mick used to say she was his yellow. the color yellow is what most people associate with happiness, with joy and bliss.

she found it hard to believe, sometimes, how he could think about her in that way. in her mind, she was someone who needed a yellow, she never thought of herself as someone who could bring that into someone else’s life. but he was always there to remind her.

the night she felt like the sadness would never go away, when she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders, he grabbed her hand, leading her out of their shared apartment.

they were going to a friend’s party, one of mick’s friend was getting married and the couple was throwing a small get-together with close friends. mick walked into the bedroom, where she was getting ready.

“whoa,” he whispered, eyes going wide as he stopped in his tracks.

“what?” she turned around, furrowing her eyebrows as she watched his expression, “what happened?”

“you look amazing,” he chuckled as he walked to her, one of his signature smiles on his lips, showing his rows of pearly white teeth. “i think we better stay here, you’ll make the bride jealous,” he placed his hands on her waist, squeezing playfully as he placed his forehead against hers.

“stop,” she had a small, shy smile on her face, looking up at him through her long lashes.

“it’s true,” he pecked her lips, “you’re the most gorgeous thing i’ve ever laid my eyes on,” one of his hands went up to cup her cheek, he felt her skin warming under his touch. “i don’t know how i got so lucky,”

“i’m the lucky one, mick. you’re the best person i’ve ever gotten the pleasure to know. i still don’t know why you’re with me,” she looked down, but he lifted her head up.

“because you’re everything i could ever ask for and so much more. i love you more than anything,”

he didn’t know it yet, but his words meant the world to her. she’d been having a tough time lately, but his presence was already making things much better.

as they drove to their friend’s house, he kept his hand on her thigh, she’d wanted to drive them there, so he sat on the passenger seat, picking the music and giving his best performance, singing out of tune in hopes of making her smile. as a slow song came on, they both stayed quiet, she was focused on the road as mick leaned back against the headrest, his eyes on her. she was the most marvelous woman he’d ever met. as they were reaching a red light, she looked at him, having felt his stare for the past few minutes.

“what?” she asked, smiling.

“you’re perfect,” he replied, eyes still focused on her. she turned her head, a shy look on her face. “stay like that,” he said, taking out his phone and opening the camera app.

“no, mick-”

“please, just one,” he pleaded, sticking his bottom lip out and blinking rapidly. she chuckled, shaking her head.

“fine,” she gave in. mick turned on the light inside the car, making sure the streetlight was still in red, before snapping a few pictures of her. “my beautiful girl,” he muttered under his breath, “i love you,” he leaned forward, pressing his lips to her cheek. as the light changed from red to green, he turned off the light and leaned back.

about thirty minutes later, when they were waiting for another couple to arrive so they could all have dinner, mick got a call from his mother. he excused himself as he stepped outside. he talked to her for a bit, catching up on everything since they last spoke, his mother asked about (y/n), and an instant smile made its way onto his face. it was so evident that he was completely in love, happier than ever.

“i’m so happy you have each other,” she told him, “you complement and need each other.”

as they hung up, mick looked at his new lockscreen photo, the one he’d just taken in the car. he smiled, so hard his cheeks hurt. she was so beautiful, everything he could ever want. he wanted to show her off to anyone he came across.

and show her off he did. he opened instagram, uploading the picture to his timeline, ‘my everything’, he captioned it. he returned inside, sitting next to her and sliding his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to him. she snuggled against his neck, having missed him the few minutes he was gone.

hours later, when they’d all eaten and were catching up, she excused herself and grabbed her phone, going to the bathroom. she remembered she had to send a work e-mail and needed some peace and quiet to think about how to redact it. she didn’t expect to see hundreds of notifications from her social media apps. she took a deep breath as she opened instagram. the next few minutes were hazy, blurry.

at first, her heart had skipped a beat when she saw the photo mick took of her. then, she started reading sweet messages from his fans, saying how happy they were for them. then, she read the bad comments. she always wondered what gave people the sense of entitlement when it came to sharing their thoughts about other people’s bodies, appearances, lives. it was unbelievable how things could change in just one second. she’d learned the bad way that it wasn’t good for her to read comments, and even though there was a mean one for every five nice ones, her mind always seemed to focus on the bad ones.

she wasn’t mad at mick, it wasn’t his fault. she just had to suck it up and act as if nothing had happened.

so, she did. or at least tried to.

she sat down next to mick, and he immediately knew something was wrong. he held her closer to him, pressed more kisses to her face and whispered sweet words in her ear. as she started to come back to herself, he stood up and walked to the kitchen to get her some water.

“oh, you two are so cute,” one of their friends said, “did you see the picture he posted?”

they all gathered around that person’s phone, and even though she knew that their comments were positive, that they only meant the best for her, she couldn’t help but tense a little. mick noticed.

“(y/n), you look great here,”

“yes, the color really suits you,”

“look at your smile,”

she felt bad for feeling that way, for being uncomfortable when she was receiving compliments. she gave them a quick, tight-lipped smile as she looked down to the floor. her fingers were playing with the hem of the dress she wore, and as her heart sped up inside her chest, so did her breathing.

calm down. calm down. don’t overreact. stop.

her ears started buzzing, and she started picking at her nails, where the nail and skin met, until she drew blood. as mick returned, he immediately knew something was wrong, mick’s eyes saw her movements, and he grabbed her hand in his as he sat down, handing her the cold glass of water.

“drink, we can leave now, okay?” he whispered, she didn’t reply, only gave him a grateful glance. she gulped down the water, placing the glass on the coffee table in front of her. immediately after, mick stood up, dragging her up with him. “thank you for tonight, but we have to leave now, we’ll see you all later,” mick said, lifting his hand and giving them a wave as he started walking. (y/n) did the same, a small wave as she followed mick.

once they were outside, she let out a deep breath, the cold air gave her goosebumps, but she needed the chilly air right then.

“are you okay? what happened?” he asked, she shook her head, giving him a small smile.

“nothing, i just got a headache, i’m fine.” she answered.

“are you sure, i-”

“yes, i’m fine. can you drive home? i- i don’t feel too good,” she handed him the car keys. mick took the opportunity to hold her hand and pull her close.

“baby, talk to me. it’s me.” he asked again, but she kept the same look on her face.

“i told you, i’m fine.” she didn’t want to worry him with her issues, it was better to keep it that way.

the drive home was tense, mick knew there was something wrong, but at the same time, he didn’t want to pressure her if she wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. as they got home, she hopped in the shower, ridding herself of the blue dress she was wearing and letting the water wash away the makeup she’d put on earlier that night. meanwhile, mick sat on their bed, waiting for her to step out so they could talk. as she was in the shower, she tried her hardest to think about something other than the comments she’d read minutes ago. it was unbelievable how words from a stranger could impact her in such a hard way. as she stepped out and walked into the bedroom, mick noticed her red, puffy eyes.

“(y/n)...”

“i’m okay,” she said. she thought that if she kept repeating the words over and over, eventually, they’d come true.

“(y/n), i can see that’s not true. you’re lying to me, again. please, just tell me the truth, what happened?” he tried his hardest to make his words come out soft, gentle, as he didn’t want her to retrieve even more, but he was feeling desperate, he wanted to help her, but he didn’t know how.

she started playing with her nails again, her skin getting goosebumps. her heart broke as she saw mick’s worried face. she sighed, walking to her nightstand and grabbing her phone. the comments were the first thing she saw, since she’d just locked her phone, not bothering to close the app back when she was in the bathroom at their friends’ place. she walked to mick, handing him the phone. he cursed under his breath, standing up and wrapping his arms around her.

“you know none of that is true. you know you’re beautiful, and strong, so kind and understanding. you’re perfect inside and out,” he said, she had her head tilted down, avoiding his gaze. he didn’t want to pressure her, so he kept talking without directing her eyes to his. “you’re quite possible the best person i know.” he continued, but he could tell that the loud thoughts were still rushing through her head. he sighed, “put on something warm, we’re going on a walk.”

they walked in silence, until they reached a bridge that connected both sides of the city, overlooking the river that divided it in two. it was cold, she could see her breath coming out in a cloud of smoke as she exhaled. they stopped right in the middle of the bridge, the night sky reflecting on the water below.

“look at the stars,” he said, walking behind her. he wrapped his arms around her stomach and pulled her back to him. he could still feel her stiff back. he leaned down, resting his chin on her shoulder, “they’re shining just for you,” he said softly.

“that’s not true,” she responded.

“it’s true, look how they shine,” he pointed to the water, that distorted the shape and shimmer of the night lights, “the way you see the stars is not the same way i do. they shine and sparkle and glimmer just the right way you need them to." he moved his head, pressing his lips against her neck. "how bright are they shining right now?" he asked her. she took a moment to reply, eyes traveling from the sky to the water below.

"they're really bright. they're like little lights," she whispered, and mick kissed her cheek. she closed her eyes as she smiled, leaning into his touch.

"my mom used to tell me that the more light you need, the brighter they are," he felt as her breath hitched, he turned her around slowly, her back against the stone railing. his fingers wrapped around her entire back, pressing her front against his, being as close as they could be. “that you can ask the stars for their light, and once you take their light, you can turn it into something beautiful.”

“so, essentially, i’m killing a star?”

“no, they stay with you, for the rest of your days, you carry those little stars with you, in your skin, your bones, and everything you do. you become a yellow,” he said, her heart was pounding in her chest as he never broke eye contact, “you are my yellow,” he finished, a small smile on his lips as he saw her eyes tearing up. “i know you sometimes feel like… your thoughts get loud, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it, but what i can do is be there for you. it doesn’t matter what you’re going through, i’ll be there with you. i can sit with you and talk if you need someone to hear you out. i’ll put on a show and sing your favorite song if you need a distraction. my love for you has no limits, there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you. even if you can’t see an escape, a light at the end of the tunnel, my love will always be there. my love will not let you down. i can be your yellow, just like you are mine.”

“i don’t deserve you,” she mumbled, there were tears falling down her face, tears that he softly wiped away with his thumbs.

“i am never going to leave you, i promise. i will be there for you, to hold your hand, or hug you, kiss you or just sit down next to you in silence. we’re a team, okay? i will try my best to lift you up whenever you need it. i promise.”

“thank you,” she said, throwing his arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest. “i love you, so, so much,” her voice came out muffled, but she refused to lean back.

“i love you, too, my yellow.”

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