#and that is NOT a dig on mcu peter OR tony stark just like

[labwebs]

🕸sometimes i think about making a verse where it’s been peter 3 in the mcu all along but also after everything he’s gone through he would’ve never ever gone along with tony lol

#and that is NOT a dig on mcu peter OR tony stark just like #he's not had great luck working with well known scientists and inventors so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #ooc

[iridescent-petrichor]

the memories of a life i never lived, chapter six

Pairing: MCU!Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Warnings: mention of may's passing :(

Words: 1K

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

The next morning when you woke up, you had to take a moment to remember where you were. It wasn’t until you saw Peter asleep next to you that you remembered the events of the day before. Before you could fully orient yourself, another memory found itself at the forefront of your mind.

You’d spent the night at Peter’s house for the first time, the two of you embracing the calm moments as the sunlight leaked into the room through his curtains. You loved the quiet more than anything, as the compound was always bustling and loud.

“Peter!” May’s voice from the next room made the both of you jump, with you falling out of his arms and scrambling to your feet and Peter sitting up so quickly he nearly smacked his head against the wall behind him.

The door opens and you take a step back, standing awkwardly as May blinks at your presence.

“Oh, Y/N!” She grinned. “I didn’t know you were here! How are you?”

“I’m good,” You force a smile, trying to tame your bedhead. May turned to Peter, muttering something about getting up, before giving you another wide smile.

“May!” Peter groaned, his head falling back onto the pillow.

“What did you say?” When you look at Peter, his gaze is already fixated on you.

“May.” You repeat quietly, the name coming to you with the fogginess of a fading dream.

He said nothing, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of him.

You scoured your mind further, the next words spilling from your lips before you could think about it.

“I’m so sorry.”

Deep in your mind, you could almost remember her. Not how you met her or why you were so close to her, but you could see her face so clearly. May Parker, who let you stay the night whenever you needed a break from the fast-paced world of the avengers. May Parker, who caught you sneaking out of a bedroom window when you weren’t fast enough. May Parker, who died a few months ago, in the arms of…

You looked up at Peter, who had a distant look in his eyes before he blinked it away, forcing himself out of bed.

“Big day,” He sighed, plastering a smile on his face for a moment before digging through his closet and tossing you a sweater.

You threw it on, but you couldn’t help but notice how Peter’s eyes saddened when he saw you wearing his clothes.

In truth, his heart ached at the sight. Having you so close but so far away was killing him, and it took every bit of strength he’s ever had to force the pain away and pretend that he was fine just to keep you from worrying.

“Come on,” You followed him out of the apartment, letting him bring you up to a rooftop nearby.

When you set foot on the roof, the familiarity of it all almost knocked you off your feet.

“I feel… like I can remember this place…” You paused, taking in the view of the city.

“This is where I took you to tell you…” He took a deep breath, staring straight ahead. “That I’m Spiderman.”

You spun around, facing him with wide eyes.

“You…?”

He nodded, still staring forward, avoiding looking at you.

“So when I was asking Spiderman if he knew Peter Parker…?” You thought back to when you’d called him, frantic about the boy who plagued your mind, and how he left you so abruptly.

“Yeah.” Peter finally looked at you, wringing his hands together. “It was me.”

You glanced at him for a moment before looking back to take in the view of New York

“You’re…” You stared at Peter, giving you a nervous smile in his Spiderman suit. He’d ripped the mask off moments ago, revealing his deepest secret to you.

“Surprise?”

“Peter, do you know what this means?” You felt giddy, barely containing the laugh that escaped you.

“…That I’m Spiderman?”

“No! Well, yes, obviously, but that means we’ve found each other two separate times!”

He tilted his head in confusion, brows furrowing together.

“Pete, my dad is Tony Stark! You’ve been going on patrols every night with me!”

He stared at you blankly for a moment before laughing in disbelief.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Say something?” Peter’s voice brought you back, a worried look on his face.

“I think I remember that.” You whispered, taking a few steps until you were standing beside Peter.

He took a seat on the edge of the rooftop, resisting the urge to put his arm around you when you followed his movement.

“This was my best bet, honestly. Doctor Strange made everyone forget Peter Parker, but clearly people still remember Spiderman. I was thinking that, if you could remember this, it might jumble together a bit.”

Peter hated that he could remember every bit of it. He hated that he could remember all the late nights and early mornings you’d spent together. He hated that the memory of him swinging you here before dawn to watch the sunrise while you were half awake was imprinted in his mind forever when it had been so cruelly taken from yours.

He fought back the tears, giving you a warm smile.

“I still don’t understand why you wouldn’t rather watch the sunrise as the tower,” Peter said, gently setting you down on the rooftop.

You rolled your eyes, taking a seat at the edge, dangling your feet over the edge and offering Peter half of the thick blanket you brought with you. He gladly took it, pulling you into his arms.

The first hints of daylight began to peek over the horizon, and Peter couldn’t help but admire the twinkle in your eyes.

“This view will beat the Avengers Tower every time, are you kidding me?”

“Why’s that?” Peter asked, nudging you playfully.

“Because it’s our spot.” You grinned, laughing at how caught off guard Peter looked. He was always surprised when you reminded him how much you loved him, and a part of you knew it was because he never expected to experience love, which only made you more determined to show him how easy he was to love.

“You’re so cheesy.” He tried to hide his blush, to no avail.

You hummed, leaning further into him. “Maybe. But you love me.”

“I do.” He agreed instantly. “I really do.”

#peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader

[edgepunk]

does it count as enabling if i pop in your inbox and directly ask you to rant about ir*ndad

thank you nonny for taking the bullet cause this is gonna be long 🫡

I've ranted about ir*ndad a few times, but I simply despise it. Going through the Peter Parker tag on ao3 is a goddamn minefield even after I filter out any MCU related tags. I accidentally stumbled upon really shite ir*ndad fics bc they weren't properly tagged and I was exposed to the horrors against my will. However, there are a few ir*ndad fics I actually enjoyed, because the writers actually understood the characters and took a lot of pointers from the comics. But there are very few of them unfortunately, you'd have to dig deep to find them.

Anyway, let me make a list of things that bother me about ir*ndad:

Peter's characterization - now, y'all know I'm not a big fan of MCU Peter, but I know damn well he is not a toddler trapped in a teenager's (now adult) body. Peter is very reckless, chaotic and wants to do most things on his own. He isn't yelling "Mr. Stark help!!!" every two seconds. He can and wants to handle things on his own, he is a teen in HOCO and FFH, after all. Teenagers want to prove their worth without any help, so does Peter.

He is not a useless bland uwu softboy that conveniently forgets he has superpowers lmao. Peter is sassy and can be rude. If your Peter Parker can't be a cunt, then that's not Peter Parker. ir*ndad fans turn him into a toddler. There's no way around it, he's a toddler that can't do anything without their pwecious Tony who's the best, biggest hero and who handles everything for Peter, because Peter is a baby who can't do anything on his own. It's not like he can easily lift cars and is very intelligent. No, he's a useless poor baby who can do no wrong. /s

I have to shorten this, so here's a speedrun of things about ir*ndad that I despise:

The writers claim to love Peter, but most of those whump stories where Peter gets tortured and traumatized are about Tony. It's only about Tony's feelings, Peter is there for torture porn and to cause Tony's manpain.

The assassination of May's character - the misogyny is really showing with this one, they turn her into an abuser and neglectful parental figure in almost every fic (tbf she was done dirty by the MCU, not gonna lie)

Racism - shows usually the way they handle Flash Thompson. It's bad. It's very bad.

Their racism is showing with how they treat and (mis)characterize Ned and MJ. Nooo they're not Peter's friends, they're mean and they're gonna abandon him bc he's a superhero. /s

They turn Tony into a creepy, full on stalker??? They think it's cute and wholesome that he gave Peter (reiterating that he's a teen in the MCU) a phone and laptop that's hooked up with trackers, so he can know where he is at all times? Ew? (ig he did that with his Spider-Man suit in HOCO. still creepy.)

As much as they try to deny it, their fics come off as ship fics between Peter and Tony. Why on Earth would a 16/17 year old cuddle with a grown-ass man??? Peter didn't do that with Ben as a preteen/teen, why would he do that with Tony lol ??? It's not just cuddling Tony is giving him kisses jeakejksjhajkhsjhdnd

Cont. of the previous point, there is nothing wrong with Peter x Tony, as long as it's not the MCU version/Peter is a minor. If it's the comics or video game version, then fine, go for it. Peter's been an adult for decades, but just,,, write that instead of trying to chalk this up as a "wholesome father/son relationship".

ummm that's all. thank you for enabling me nonny and sorry for the long rant I Simply Have Thoughts

#ask #Anonymous

[stackthedeck]

homecoming rewrite 🤭

okay so you guys remember my fic let's see how far you've come that's a more comic accurate Peter in the mcu where he's older and more experienced that's just a rewrite of civil war? Yeah I planned to do that with every mcu Spider-Man movie but that was really ambitious but I did write a whole outline for homecoming

The fic loosely followed the plot of homecoming with the vulture and all that, but Ned and MJ already know Peter's Spider-Man. Peter and MJ are on a break because Peter can't prioritize their relationship and he's biting off more than he can chew with hero work. This is why Peter wants Tony to be better and move away from the big picture and look out for the little guy. But I know Tony can't do this, but I also know Peter needs a partner. So the plan was to keep the high school part of homecoming even though the spider trio has already graduated college so I put Miles and Ganke in Peter and Ned's place and replaced Liz Allen with Tiana Toomes. Miles is a big help to Spider-Man because his Uncle Aaron is part of Toomes' gang and Miles learns all the details. Miles is kinda Peter's guy in the chair for this and they'll be an "end credits" scene where Peter teaches him some moves. (the plan was that if I did the whole MCU, Miles would get bit by a spider (made by Tony stealing some of Peter's blood) and take over as Spider-Man while Peter was snapped in infinity war). You know that scene where Peter gets trapped under the rumble at the end of homecoming? Yeah, his "get back up" moment was supposed to be the ring he was going to propose to MJ with falling out of his pocket. God, I wish I had the time and motivation to write this fic!

anyway have a snippet

“Call me if you need anything,” Happy says, “keep me updated.”

Peter laughs nervously. “I appreciate the offer, but this was a one-time thing. I’m not like…a baby Avenger or something.”

“Just a normal Avenger,” Happy says, still not unlocking the door, still crawling through traffic.

“Nope,” Peter says, “nope, absolutely not.”

“Are you su—”

“Listen, this has been great—” Peter rolls down the window, pulling himself through as Happy pointedly does not stop driving “—but I’ve really got to go.”

“I’ll text you,” Happy calls.

“Please don’t,” Peter quietly pleads mostly to himself.

Peter ducks into a nearby alley and changes into his spider suit. He slings his backpack over his shoulder and he’s off. He climbs higher and higher, getting closer to the heart of the city with each swing. The wind stings his face even through the mask, the air reeks of filth and trash, car horns blare and people shout almost just as loud. God, he’s missed this.

Peter gets back to Aunt May’s place and after climbing through the window, flops into bed. Just as he’s pulling the mask off, the bedroom door flies open.

MJ stands in the doorway. Her dark curls are practically glowing in the morning light. She looks like she’s ready to kill him.

“MJ,” Peter sighs with a smile, “light of my life—”

“Cut that shit out, Parker.” Her arms are folded over her chest and her combat boots are still on.

“You can still be the light of my life when we’re on a break,” Peter says.

MJ steps inside the room, closing the door behind her. She uncrosses her arms, revealing she’s got a Daily Bugle brand Spider-Man shirt on. A shirt whose sales Peter doesn’t see a penny of—neither as Spider-Man or the photographer that made him famous. Peter loathes that shirt and MJ only wears it when she’s pissed at him.

“Damn it,” Peter sighs, falling back onto the bed, “before you yell at me, can you crack my back? I can feel my spine digging into my lung.”

“What did you do?” MJ says, glaring at him. Well, Peter assumes she is, he’s got his face buried in his pillow. He’s pretty sure he hasn’t slept in at least 48 hours.

“Got my ass kicked by Captain America,” Peter grumbles.

“I repeat,” MJ says, at least sounding somewhat concerned this time, “what did you do?”

“Got kidnapped by Tony Stark,” Peter sighs.

“Two days Peter,” MJ says. She’s pacing around the room now. Oh shit, she must have been planning this speech. “We agreed to take a break and then you disappeared for two days. I called you to get you to pick up your stuff, but you didn’t answer. Peter, you’re an asshole but you’re not a dick, you wouldn’t ghost me. So I went to your aunt who said you were at Ned’s and Ned said you were with me. But you weren’t with me. Do you know how many times I called you?”

Peter rolls over to dig his phone out of his bag. He turns it off airplane mode and it immediately starts vibrating. “57 times,” Peter says.

“Where were you that you couldn’t answer one of those 57 calls?” MJ asks.

“Germany.”

MJ stops pacing.

“Germany?”

“I don’t have an international phone plan,” Peter says.

“Germany?” MJ repeats.

“I told you—” Peter shrugs “—I got kidnapped by Tony Stark.”

“And got your ass kicked by Captain America.”

“And got my ass kicked by Captain America,” Peter agrees, “which really hurt by the way so can you—?”

“You couldn’t have said something before you left?” MJ asks, pacing again. He probably should have, but there was a lot going on. And it was only two days. The last time Spider-Man disappeared it was only for three days and Peter was fine. Well, he wasn’t fine, he got kidnapped by Kingpin. But the time before that he was gone for a week and that was because he was being hunted for sport and the time before that it was an existential crisis and the time before that—

Yeah, two days is a concerning amount of time. He should have texted.

#ask game #asks

[lemonlillybee]

Sicktember Day 1: How To Take Care of a Peter Parker

Sicktember Day 1

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41403822/chapters/103829082

Title: How To Take Care of a Peter Parker

Prompts: #1 ‘Do You Know How To Take Care of a Sick Person?’ , #2 Homesick and #16 Care Package

Fandom: Spider-Man (MCU)

Word Count: ~1300

A/N: I combined three @sicktember prompts for my first fill of the month! HAPPY SICKTEMBER!

Ned : Hey

Ned : Do you know how to take care of a sick person?

Ned : Because Peter is super sick and gross  

Ned looks over at Peter, asleep in his bed and snoring so loudly that Ned almost doesn’t hear his phone chime with MJ’s reply.

MJ : Be right there

–- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 --

MJ : Peter is sick again

May Parker : aww poor thing. 😭 he was just sick last month!

May Parker : I’m at work for another 8 hours. I can call Tony?

May Parker : does he need me?  

May Parker : I can try to get off early  

May Parker : how sick are we talking?

May Parker : he won’t say it, but he’s definitely going to want campbell’s chicken noodle soup and juice  

May Parker : does he have a fever?

MJ : No fever, coughing a lot. He’s asking about you but he’s just a little homesick, I think, no need to leave work. Ned and I are taking good care of him. I’ll keep you updated. Thanks!

May Parker : I know he’s in good hands, thanks sweetie! ❤️❤️❤️ I’ll text Tony

–- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 --

May : hey, sounds like Peter is sick. I’m not even halfway through my shift or else I’d drive there right now

Tony Stark : Again? Damn, poor kid

May : do you think you could pick up some things for the kids? maybe check in on them?

Tony Stark : On it. Thanks, May.  

May : ur the best!! 😘

–- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 --

May : hi sweetie! sorry you’re not feeling well. I larb you!

Peter : Thanks, larb you too. I’ll call you later if I have a voice

May : u better!!

May : ❤️❤️❤️

–- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 --

Peter is napping again, this time curled up against MJ, when Tony calls.

“Hi,” MJ answers, moving her hand to run her fingers through Peter’s hair when he blinks awake at the sound of her voice, looking confused and sleepy. “Yeah, he just woke up. I’ll put you on speaker.”

“Hey, Underoos. I hear you’re feeling a bit under the weather?”

Peter tries to croak out a response, but his voice doesn’t cooperate and he ends up coughing instead. He clears his throat several times before he’s able to get anything out. “Hey.”

“Oh, you sound awful,” Tony says, unable to hide his surprise. “How’d you get so sick?”

Peter coughs some more, then sniffles, sounding miserable.

“It’s actually not too bad,” MJ says, rolling her eyes when Ned scoffs in disagreement. “I mean, he’s coughing a lot and he basically has no voice. It just sounds a lot worse than it is.”

“He’s still a walking germ factory,” Ned adds from his spot in the corner, the farthest he can get from Peter while still being in the same room.

Peter and MJ both snort, which makes Peter cough again. MJ rubs his back and grabs his water from the nightstand for him to drink.

“Do you need anything, Peter? I can come out there?”

MJ hesitates, watching tears well up in Peter’s eyes. She keeps rubbing his back, waiting for him to answer and frowning when he scrubs his sleeve over his face and sniffles wetly.  

“Just wish I was home,” he mumbles, voice hoarse and cracking on the last word.

“Want me to send Happy? He can pick you up and take you home. May is at work but she’ll be there tonight.”

MJ watches Peter’s face light up at the mention of May, but he quickly closes his eyes and stuffs down what sounds like a whimper, shaking his head.  

“No,” he whispers congestedly. He digs a knuckle into his right eye and heaves a raspy sigh, then clears his throat. “I’m just being a baby. I’ll be fine. I have MJ here and she’s taking great care of me,”

“And me!” Ned chimes in, eyes flitting to the bottle of hand sanitizer next to him when Peter pulls the blanket up to cover his face before sneezing three times.

“Bless you! Well, I have no doubt MJ and Ned are both taking great care of you,” Tony says as Peter begins to cough again. “I’m going to let you kids go. Get some rest, Peter.”

“Thanks, Tony,” MJ says, hanging up and pulling Peter in close, rubbing his back and letting him sniffle into her shirt until he falls back asleep, not missing the single tear that falls from the corner of his eye before he does.

–- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 --

Tony : Just talked to the kids. Peter sounds terrible but he’s in good hands with MJ

Tony : What time are you off?

May Parker : aww 🥺

May Parker : 7pm

Tony : Want to grab dinner tonight? I’ll have Happy pick you up

Tony : Also, can you send me a list of things Peter likes when he’s sick?

May Parker : sure, can’t wait!

May Parker : chick noodle soup

apple juice (NO orange)

tissues. like a ton. double what you think he might need lol

cough drops (the cherry kind only)

harry potter movies

hot chocolate

blankets

cherry jello

Tony : Thanks, you’re the best! See you tonight

–- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 --

MJ : Thanks for calling earlier. Peter took a long nap and he woke up feeling a little bit better

Tony Stark : He doing okay?

MJ : He gets a little homesick when he’s not feeling well. We’re going to call May when he gets his voice back

Tony Stark : I’m with May right now, I’ll let her know

MJ : Perfect, thank you

Tony Stark : Hope he can get some sleep tonight with all that coughing

Tony Stark : Make sure you and Ned are getting rest too

MJ : Will do, thanks!

–- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 --

In the morning, MJ checks her mailbox and finds a slip indicating there’s a package for her in the office. Brad, the RA on duty, hands her a large box with an overnight shipping label on the side.

“Someone paid a lot of money to get that to you,” Brad comments, eyeing MJ curiously. “Know what it is?”

“Nope,” MJ says, lifting the heavy package and leaving Brad to wonder alone.

As she walks back up the stairs, her phone vibrates in her pocket, and she shifts the box under one arm so she can pull it out.

Tony Stark : There’s a package for you kids, it should have been delivered this morning

Tony Stark : Mostly just a few things for the sickie

MJ : Yep, just got it!

MJ : Just a few things? It’s heavy, I’m counting this as arm day lol

Tony Stark : Sorry, I know it’s a lot. Hope it’s not too heavy to carry

Tony Stark : How’s Bug Boy doing this morning?

MJ : No, it’s perfect, it’s sweet of you to send something

MJ : He still doesn’t really have a voice and he’s super stuffed up, but I think feeling a little better. I think he had a low grade fever last night but he’s back to normal temp as of 30 minutes ago

MJ : He also almost puked but I think it was just from all of the coughing

Tony Stark : If he changes his mind, I can be there in less than an hour. Just call or text, any time of day

Tony Stark : Take care of yourself too. Send Peter my love

MJ : Thanks, I’ll let him know. He’s lucky to have you in his life

Tony Stark : Not as lucky as I am

–- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 --

Tony : How are you feeling?

Underoos : Better, almost have my voice back!

Underoos : Ned freaked out when he saw the lego set  

Underoos : Thank you

Tony : Anytime, kiddo  

Tony : You feeling up for a visit from May and me?

Underoos : You don’t have to come all the way out. I can video call?

Tony : Or, you could open the door?

–- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 –-  –- 🕷 --

Tony : Just dropped May off. Thanks for the visit. Feel better, love you!

Underoos : Love you too, Dad

#sicktember #sicktember 2022 #irondad #spiderson #sick peter parker #sickfic #hurt/comfort #spiderman #mcu #30 days of prompts #tony stark #college student peter parker

[spiderdweeb]

The world will heal when fic writes stop having Tony Stark solve all of Peter Parker’s problems. Especially when he’s dead and then ✨surprise✨ he’s no longer dead!! Let Peter Parker be the hero in his own story, dammit. Just because he’s young, doesn’t mean he’s not capable. I am just so tired of so many Spider-Man fics being “Peter tries to be a hero and fails so Tony comes to the rescue” or some other bullshit along that line. Like, no hate if you enjoy that trope. At the end of the day, I don’t care. I just wish more people treated Peter and subsequently Spider-Man like the hero he is. He’s not some damsel in distress. And the argument of “oh, he’s young though!” is just so weak because sure he’s young, but you can never learn if you’re never given the chance (also he’s a teenager. not a fucking toddler which is another issue I have, but let’s not get into that). If Tony swoops in and fixes all of Peter’s problems and Peter just lets him, how is he ever supposed to grow and learn!!!

#rant over lmao #if you like those stories continue reading and writing them #it’s just an issue that’s been bugging me as i dig for fics #i just wish more fics exploded just how capable peter is as a hero #and the whole tony swooping in to fix all of peter’s problems #isn’t even in character for the mcu portrayal #peter parker #spiderman #spider-man #spider man #tony stark #iron man #mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #skys post

[trashystarker]

oblivious - a starker one shot

Title: oblivious Fandom: MCU/Iron Man/Spiderman Pairing: Starker (Peter Parker x Tony Stark) Rating: Mature (Mild NSFW - No Powers AU - Meet Cute - Fluff - Tooth-rotting Fluff - Smut) Word Count: ~3,775

Summary: Peter takes the train home for Christmas, and winds up sitting with someone who shouldn’t be on the train. 

A/N: For the lovely @livvibee​ . Please enjoy! :) 

---

Peter sees the train that he needs to take back to New York from Boston is pulling out of the station. Determined not to miss it, he races to the train, his backpack flopping up and down as he charges full speed towards the moving train. He sees a porter shaking his head, but he ignores him and instead keeps running at full speed. Just as the platform is about to disappear, he gets to where he wants to be and hops onto the train, almost knocking down the porter in the process. 

“Nice, kid.” The guy holds his hand out and Peter takes it, his chest rising and falling as he tries to stabilize his breathing. “You better have a ticket.” 

“I do!” He reaches into his pocket and pulls it out. “See? I’m not stowing away. I’m going back to Queens for Christmas.” 

“I don’t care.” The porter turns around and starts to head to the next train car. 

He looks down at his ticket, and tries to see if there’s any sort of indicator of where he’s supposed to be sitting. Figuring that if anyone comes to find him, he’ll just show his ticket. Adjusting the straps on his backpack, he starts to walk down the aisle, and sees that there’s a seat opposite someone that’s hidden behind a newspaper. Perfect. This person clearly doesn’t wish to be bothered, and he feels the same. Peter puts his duffel bag that he’d been carrying in his hand above the seat in the provided luggage rack, then takes the aisle seat caddy corner to the person behind the newspaper. 

Digging through his backpack, he finds his headphones and pulls out his iPod, the screen cracked but not enough that he is still able to read what’s playing. He starts to put them on his head when he hears the person with the newspaper clear their throat. Pausing his movements, he looks over and sees them lower the newspaper enough that he can see their eyes, and he feels his mouth drop open from pure shock. 

“Relax, kid.” The newspaper comes down further. “You a student at MIT? Heading back home for the holidays?” 

It takes effort for Peter not to squeak or scream as he looks at the person now showing him their face. He thought for a second it was a trick, but with the newspaper no longer blocking anything, Peter can see that it is indeed the person he thought it was - Tony Stark, the billionaire scientist that he idolizes like no one’s business. The whole reason he’d chosen to go to MIT to begin with is because Tony Stark had gone there. And now, here he is, sitting on the train with him. 

“Do you speak?” Tony asked, a smirk on his lips as he adjusts his cuffs. He’s dressed in a suit - probably more expensive than his tuition at MIT, but money is nothing to someone like him. “Or are you mute? Kid, you’re starting to freak me out. Talk to me.” 

“I’m Peter. Peter Parker.” He answers, not at all sure why he’s just told him his name. “Yes, I go to MIT. What gave it away?” 

“The sweatshirt?” 

Peter looks down at his chest and sees that he’s wearing one of his black MIT sweatshirts, with the lettering of the school also in black. “Right. Duh.” Peter puts his headphones down, and tries not to show how excited he is. “You’re Tony Stark.” 

“What? No.” Tony fakes a shocked expression, which has Peter laughing. “Who told you such a lie? I’m not Tony Stark. I’m….Bob Roberts.” 

“That’s a silly name.” Peter looks around, and is glad to see there’s no one nearby. “Why are you on the train? Don’t you, like, have private jets and expensive cars?” 

“I do.” Tony nods his head. “But, you see, sometimes I like to take the train because it allows me more time to escape the humdrum life of the city. Private jets are fun, but getting to spend some time with the commoners is really what it’s all about.” Tony winks, which Peter has to hold onto his backpack with a little more strength as it hits him out of nowhere. “Tell me about yourself, kid. You said your name is Peter?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Drop the sir. You can call me Tony.” 

“I can’t do that, sir.” Peter shakes his head. 

“What? Why not?” 

He clears his throat. “Because, sir, you’re one of my idols. The whole reason I tried to get into MIT is because I knew that’s where you went to school. Your creations are legendary, and I hope to be just as good in the field as you are.” 

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Pete. Fine, if you won’t call me Tony, you can call me Mr. Stark. Deal?” 

“Deal, Mr. Stark.” It feels very easy to call him by that name. “So, you like to be cheap? Is that why you’re on the train?” 

“A ticket to Penn Station isn’t that cheap.” Tony points to his headphones. “If you were going to listen to something, don’t let me stop you. It’s a long trip back to New York. We don’t have to talk for the whole six hours.” 

“What if I want to?” Peter tries not to sound too eager, but he can’t help it. “Look, Mr. Stark - I really admire you, and think you’re pretty awesome. I’d love to pick your brain about things, if I may?” 

“How old are you?” 

“Twenty-two?” Peter isn’t sure why Tony’s asking him. “Why? Do I look young?” 

“You look like you’re barely in high school, let alone your last year of college.” 

He blushes, shaking his head. “Uh, I’m in the graduate program. I graduated early from high school, and went to MIT when I was seventeen. Now I’m working my way towards a PhD.” 

“That’s amazing. You must be really smart, Pete.” Tony does sound impressed, and it has Peter’s heart hammering like a jackhammer. “What are you working on for your dissertation? And is that old coot Doctor Jensen still there?” 

Peter groans, and nods his head. “Yeah. He’s a nightmare. But luckily, I finished his course last year. I never have to deal with him again.” 

“He’ll be on your panel for your Ph.D. For sure.” 

“You think??” He leans his head back and sighs. “Great. Maybe I should transfer to Harvard for my doctorate.” 

“No, stay at MIT. Now, tell me about your projects.” 

He winds up talking to Tony for close to three hours nonstop, showing him all of his completed projects from undergrad, and what he’s currently working on for his masters. Tony seems to be impressed, but Peter isn’t sure if it’s real or if he’s just being nice to him. By the time they’re on hour four, Tony stands up and stretches. 

“Listen, I’m gonna go get us some coffee. How do you take it?” Tony asks, as he moves out to the aisle. “Black? Cream, sugar?” 

“Black.” Peter puts his hand into his back pocket, but then stops as Tony shakes his head. “You sure?” 

“Kid, you know how much money I have. I can afford to buy you some coffee. Maybe even a pastry too.” Tony winks again before he walks away. 

Peter looks at his phone and sees that his best friend has sent him a text. “Dude, wru? I landed like four hours ago and you’re still not home. What gives?” 

“I got the last train from Boston to NYC. Sorry. :( Got stuck on one of my projects. Dude, guess what.” He sends the text to Ned, his knee bouncing from excitement as he waits for Tony to return with his coffee. 

“What? Did you meet the Dali Lama or something?” 

“Guess who I’m riding the train with? TONY STARK.”

His phone begins to ring. He picks it up and puts it to his ear, and winces as Ned yells, “NO WAY.” 

“Yes, way!” He whispers, a bit dramatically as he ducks down into his seat. “He’s going to get us coffee right now. We’ve been talking for hours.” 

“Is that why you sound like a smoker right now?” Ned asks, as Peter brings his hand up to his throat to touch it, as if that will change how his voice sounds. “How cool. You gonna get his number? Hang out while you’re in the city?” 

“Oh my God, I don’t know.” Peter hasn’t thought that far ahead about his good fortune. “Great, now I’m going to freak out. Not cool, dude.” 

“Just call me when you’re like six stops from Penn Station. I’ll come pick your ass up. Least I can do for my bestie at Christmas.” 

“Thanks. Okay, I gotta go. See you soon.” He hangs up before Ned says anything else as he sees Tony walking up the aisle. He jumps up and grabs the cup offered to him. “H-Hey. Thanks!” 

Tony has one eyebrow raised up. “You okay? Did something happen while I was gone?” 

“No, nothing happened.” He points to the bag in Tony’s hand. “What’s that?” 

“I didn’t know if you were a cheese danish kind of guy, or a double chocolate brownie man.” 

Peter groans at the choices, perhaps in a more inappropriate type of noise but he doesn’t realize it. Not until he sees the look on Tony’s face. “What? I haven’t said anything yet.” 

“You don’t have to.” Tony still looks at him kind of funny, making his stomach feel a little off-kilter. “Which is it going to be?” 

“Brownie. For sure. Give me diabetes, please.” He makes a grabby hand for the bag, which Tony laughs at. And that sound instantly makes him feel like he’s shaking as he doesn’t think he’s ever heard a recording, or seen a video of Tony Stark laughing. And it’s a really nice sound. Nicer than it should be, but that’s something he’ll worry about later. 

Tony grabs the brownie and hands it to him before sitting back down. “You’re not going to sugar coma on me, are you? Do you have someone coming to get you at Penn Station, or do you need a ride home?” 

“R-Ride??” Peter tries not to get too worked up by the question. “Why?? Are you offering, Mr. Stark?” 

“I might be inclined to, but you have to give me an answer first.” 

His heart pounds so loud in his ears, he doesn’t know if he’s speaking or if he’s just thinking the words. “You haven’t asked me a question, Mr. Stark.” 

“I know, Pete. I was going to ask you right now.” He waits for Tony to continue, keeping his lips on his coffee as he takes silent sips of it. “Go out with me to dinner tomorrow night.” 

Peter’s stomach sinks. “It’s Christmas tomorrow. I can’t.” 

“Shit, right. Sorry.” Tony runs a hand through his hair, Peter noticing little flecks of silver and grey scattered amongst his brown hair. “Day after. Boxing day. Dinner? You, me - bottle of red, bottle of white.” 

“Whatever kind of mood you’re in tonight?” Peter finishes without even thinking about it. 

Tony smiles, and it makes that pit disappear. “Billy Joel fan?” 

“What kind of New Yorker would I be if I didn’t like Billy Joel?” He returns Tony’s smile. “Yeah, sure. Why not. You’ll probably flake out on me, but that’s okay. I know you’re a busy man. You’ve got important things to do.” 

He watches as Tony pulls his phone out of his pocket. It’s the newest model that Stark Industries has out on the market. “What’s your number?” 

“Why?” 

“Peter, how am I going to know where to pick you up if you don’t give me your number?” 

“Oh, right.” Peter rattles it off, and then gets a text from a number that comes up ‘Unknown’. “You block your number?” 

“I have to.” He pushes the button, and as Tony brings his phone closer to his, the Unknown changes to be a number that he knows is an LA number, as his dorm mate is from Los Angeles. “I don’t let everyone have this number, Pete.” 

That makes him feel really good. “Right. Of course not. Duh.” 

“Eat your brownie. I’m sure your mom and dad will love you being on a sugar high when we get back to New York.” 

He takes a bite, then shakes his head. “No, they’re dead. But my Aunt May might have an issue with it, only because she’ll be jealous she didn’t get to eat this stale brownie.” 

“Shit.” Tony reaches for it, but Peter puts the rest into his mouth before he can. “You’re killing me, Smalls. Why would you do that if it was old? Sorry, I should have found one that wasn’t so firm.” 

Peter laughs after swallowing his mouthful of stale brownie. “It’s okay, Mr. Stark.” 

“Pete, if we’re gonna go out to dinner, I’d really like if you’d get used to calling me Tony.” 

It’s difficult, but Peter knows that he’s right. “Okay, Tony. I can do that.” 

“Good. Now, where were we on your projects?” 

*** 

Christmas goes off without a hitch. May and Ned had picked him up from the station on Christmas Eve, and then the three of them had gone over to Rockerfeller to watch the people ice skate while they looked at the tree. Peter and Ned stay up for most of the night telling each other about their lives - Ned is also in a masters program, having finished his undergrad in three years. 

On the actual day, he and May stay on the couch in their pajamas, and watch all the best Christmas movies while eating chocolate chip pancakes. He tells her he’s got plans the following night, and she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. Probably because he’s staying in town for a week, so she’ll have plenty of ‘Peter’ time. 

He looks at himself in the bathroom mirror, trying to decide if he should wear something super fancy, or if he should dress like he was dressed on the train. But even that wasn’t normal as it was Christmas Eve and he had wanted to look presentable for his aunt. He decides on a stupid science pun shirt - ‘Think Like a Proton and Stay Positive’, and grabs a grey cardigan to throw over it as the nights were a bit brisk, and he doesn’t know where he and Tony are going. 

Tony pulls up in a black Audi, and looks pleased to see him again. “Hey, Peter. Merry Christmas a day late.” 

“Merry Christmas, Tony.” He hops into the car, and sighs as he feels the seat is heated. “This is really nice.” 

“Thanks. I always take the nice car when I’m on a date with someone.” 

“D-Date??” 

“Did you think this was a friendly social call?” The smirk on Tony’s face has Peter’s head spinning. “Look, I really took a liking to you on that train ride. Figured I’d see where it might go if we head out on a date. You like Italian?” 

“Yes, I do. Where are we going?” 

“Somewhere in Manhattan. Do you have a curfew?” 

“What? No? I’m twenty-two, Tony. No curfew.” 

“Just checking.” 

He’s still trying to accept the fact that Tony Stark is interested in him in a way he really didn’t think could be possible. He hasn’t dated anyone since high school, and even that had been a Shakespearean tragedy. He fidgets a little on the seat, then holds his hands between his knees. “Are you sure you want this to be a date? I sort of figured we were just going to talk more about projects, and how things are going, and-” 

“Peter.” A hand touches his mouth, silencing his rambling. “Stop. Don’t stress about this. We can have this be whatever you want. A free dinner. Time with Tony Stark. And hey, if that leads us to heading back to my place for some private time? I wouldn’t be upset with that outcome.” 

“Sorry, Tony, I’m trying to hear what you’re saying, but I don’t think I am.” Peter turns to look at him, Tony’s hand back on the wheel. “Are you saying you want to have sex?” 

Out of all the scenarios, Peter never thought that that might be on the table. “Sure, why not? I told you - I like you. I like your mind. We’re alike, and that’s so hard to find. If you’re off put by my age, don’t be.” 

“I’m not.” He could care less that Tony’s older. “Is the dating pool that bad?” 

“You’re real cute, Parker.” Peter blushes as he takes the compliment. “I hope you’re hungry, because you’re in for some good eats tonight.” 

“Sounds good to me, Tony.” 

***

His back hits the soft mattress in Tony’s bedroom, his clothes discarded into a pile on the floor. Peter doesn’t know what’s made him come back to Tony’s place - he should have asked to go home, but he wants to know what it’s like to be with one of the most influential people on the planet. And plus, he’s had a huge crush on him since he doesn’t remember when. Talk about a dream come true. 

Tony’s hand is playing with his cock, making him moan and writhe on the bed while two fingers are pushed into his ass. “You like how that feels, Peter?” Tony asks, his lips coming down to his chest where he leaves a little bite. 

“Y-Yes, Tony.” He moans, pushing his hips down. A deep groan leaves his throat as the tip of Tony’s finger nudges against his prostate. “Oh, God.” 

“That’s it, sweetness.” Tony pushes his finger against that spot again, making Peter scream. “Let’s see how you look when I make you come.” 

“Tony!” Peter shouts, unable to stop himself as his orgasm explodes out of him, the hand on his cock milking him until he’s dry, but then those constant touches bring him back to full arousal. “M-More?” 

Tony nods his head, a grin on his face. “So much more, Peter.” 

He loses all sense of himself as Tony makes him come again and again, his body feeling like it’s experiencing the best euphoria possible. He lays limp on Tony’s bed, after they’ve both shared a final orgasm together, as he watches Tony pull the condom off of his cock. 

“Am I leaving now?” Peter asks, feeling like a complete ass for asking it. But he’d rather ask and know, instead of being surprised by it. 

The bed shifts as Tony lays down next to him. “I’d love for you to stay the night. I can take you back home in the morning. Would that be okay?” 

“I’d like that.” Feeling instantly better, Peter nods his head. “Is this….is this just for this week?” 

“Let’s see how things go.” Tony doesn’t say yes or no, which is good enough for Peter. “Get some rest, Peter.” 

“Night, Tony.” 

“Night night, sweetness.” 

That name makes him smile as he drifts off to sleep, feeling a little loopy after the evening he’s had with Tony Stark. 

***

The week goes by too fast. Peter splits his time between Tony’s place in Manhattan, and with Aunt May. Ned hangs out with him and Tony one day, and then after he leaves, Tony takes him in a few different spots in the apartment. It’s a week that Peter never expected to happen, and now that it’s almost over, he wishes it wasn’t. 

“Are you going to call me when I’m back at school?” Peter asks, the two of them naked under the covers, Tony’s fingers running through his hair. “Or is this it?” 

“Don’t worry, Peter. It’s not it. I’m having a lot more fun with you than I expected to be. Let’s see how things go.” Tony kisses him softly, making him moan against his lips. “Mmm….sounds like you’re up for some more fun?” 

Answering his question by moving himself to straddle Tony’s hips while he rubs himself against his cock, Peter nods his head. “Always, Tony.” 

“Then let’s have some more fun.” 

***

Once back at school, Peter becomes so focused on his projects that he forgets about everything in the world except what he’s working on. He’s been back at MIT for close to a month, and is spending the weekend in the lab, running experiments for his dissertation, running on about three hours of sleep and lots of caffeine. 

“Excuse me, but is there a Peter Parker here?” 

He looks up, and sees Tony is standing there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand, and some chocolate under his arm. “Tony?!” 

“Ah, so you do remember me.” Tony walks into the lab, dressed down in a pair of jeans, a shirt and a blazer. “I was wondering, because you haven’t been answering any of my texts.” 

“OH SHIT.” He pulls out his phone, and shows it to Tony. “I got a new phone. I dropped my phone into the river by accident. It’s a long story. Sorry. I didn’t….I didn’t think it mattered.” 

Tony sets the roses down on top of his notes, then comes over to him. “How about you let me push you away if that’s what I want to do, okay? Because I like you, Peter. I thought I’d made that pretty obvious on New Year’s.” 

“I’m sorry.” Peter looks at the door, then looks at Tony. “A-Are you sure you should be standing that close to me right now?” 

“You’re an adult. So am I. And I’d like to kiss my boyfriend, if I may.” 

“Boyfriend? Me?!” 

Tony puts his hand on his cheek, and nods his head. “Yes, sweetness. You’re mine, and I’m yours. Thought you knew that.” He lowers his head and kisses him on the lips, Peter slow to kiss him back, but then does and has his breath stolen away. “Ah, there he is. Hello, baby.” 

“Hi, Tony.” 

They stay in the lab together for another hour, and then Peter heads to Tony’s apartment that he keeps in Cambridge, as he comes up to MIT often to do lectures. Peter looks at him, as they stand in the foyer together. 

“Boyfriends?” 

His lover looks at him, and flashes him a smile that he knows he’s going to see in his head for days. “Boyfriends. Now, come upstairs with me and let’s have some fun.” 

“Anything you want, Tony.” 

Peter knows that this may be a quick relationship, but as far as he’s concerned, he’s in it for the long haul. He knows that he’s met his match, thanks to Tony Stark being as persistent as himself. That’s why they are made for each other. 

#starker #fanfic #livvibee #a gift for mah friiiend <3 #my writing

[luna-rainbow]

Ok there’s something that’s bugging me. Kari skogland has said that tfatws is “the most important show of the century” & I’m just ????? Ma’am it is a superhero show pls sit down. It really rubs me the wrong way when compounded with a lot of the other stuff she has said. It just feels like both she & spellman have just gone around patting themselves on the back. & while yes I do think it’s important to be passionate about the projects you’re working on I just felt like this was such an over exaggeration. Is the show important, particularly in regards to representation? Yes. But saying that it’s more important than any other show made this century is just waaaayyyy overkill & comes across as really egotistical

For anyone interested, her full quote is here:

I believe this is the most important show of the century. We were taking on a Black man picking up that shield and what that meant and what that was going to look like in a very racially charged time. That was a really important image to look at and to explore. We had to not pull any punches and really dig into it.

Look, I know what she's trying to say. For Sam to take on the mantle of Captain America, for our world's America, it is momentous. It should have been treated with care and thoughtfulness and been made the focus of the story.

My beef was always that the MCU is so considerably different to our world that without establishing the parameters within the MCU, I could never transpose what was happening in our world onto the MCU, but the series expects a lot of assumptions and emotional baggage to be pre-existing in the audience. For example, while watching Shang-Chi, I would never for a moment imagine there was any parallel with our world, because imperial China would not have accommodated someone like Wenwu (or he would have usurped the emperor himself and stayed in power for millenia).

My other beef is that the show and movies never define what "Captain America" means. Bucky said, "that shield means different things to a lot of people" (or was it "a lot of things to different people"?) and I bet you that's true in the audience too. If you ask 100 MCU fans what "the shield" and "Captain America" mean, you'll get at least 50 different answers. But the show expects us to function on one definition which it then avoids defining.

As for the hyperbole of "most important show of the century", that's Americentricism speaking again. If there's one thing that TFATWS has done, it's to exacerbate the Americentricism in the fandom, with a lot of loud voices expecting the American experience to be the true and universal human experience.

I kinda really want Cap 4 to be a happy fest of Sam just kicking ass, you know? I feel like black people in America have had a really rough two years, and do you really want to see Sam go through the wringer again? Why not do something light-hearted and triumphant, and show Sam having the support of his community and his people? The MCU was content being a chirpy escape fantasy for people like Peter Quill and Tony Stark, why can't it do that for Sam?

#tfatws critical #asks

[peterrparrkerr]

Hanahaki disease - read on ao3

Tagging: @lokitonypeter @just-things-things @thegreenmetblue @someonepostedart @andacheesyoneliner @bluestarker @lilcoffeecup @useless-fanfictions-for-mcu

*-*

Peter's known for a long time that he was in love with Tony. Since he was seven, and Ironman saved his life. Since he came home to Tony Stark on his couch, talking with his aunt.

Since the trip to Germany, and everything else leading up to now. The more time he spent with the older man, the more in love with him he became.

Peter never really thought he'd be the one to get sick. He thought he'd been immune. He's had crushes before, been in unrequited love before, and he never got sick.

But with Tony, it came on so suddenly. One day he was fine, and then the next, blue petals were in his sink after a coughing fit.

He'd been so shocked he'd stumbled back and almost hit his head on the bathroom door.

That was six months ago, and its not gotten better. He's been lucky enough to hide it from everyone.

With May's long hours at the hospital and his school's wacky scheduling, and the Avengers keeping Peter on the outskirts, its easy to hide the blue flowers.

He's read stories about people with the disease getting better on their own, or even learning to live with it for the rest of their lives.

He's also read about it killing people.

But he can't tell Tony how he feels. He just can't. Tony thinks of Peter as a kid. Plus, while the age difference doesn't bother Peter at all, it might bother Tony.

The man was old enough to be his dad anyway. So Peter decided to hide the flower petals. For as long as he could.

"Hey, Pete, you getting the popcorn or what?" Clint calls from the living room. Peter coughs again, hunched over the trashcan beside the kitchen island.

"Yeah!" He shouts, coughing again. He reaches into his mouth, picking the petals off his tongue before straightening. He glances down at the trash, covered in wet, wilty petals and feels his stomach roll.

He quickly grabs a bunch of paper towel, throwing them into the trash to cover them, then pushing it all down as far as it'd go.

After a second, he grabs the two bowls of popcorn and makes his way back into the living room.

"Sorry, I had to melt the butter," he excused, handing one bowl off to Clint -who would be sharing with Nat, Bruce and Steve.

Peter handed the other bowl off to Sam, who was in reach of Tony, Thor, Bucky and Peter.

"What are we watching again?" Peter asked, clearing his throat. It was always worse when Peter was around Tony.

"Halloween," Sam said, smirking over at Peter.

"Its August," Peter exclaims.

"Yeah, and we were going to watch A Walk To Remember but Tony doesn't do chick flicks, and the grandparents haven't seen it yet."

"Hey, Tony hasnt seen it either," Steve yelped, waving a hand at Tony, sitting at the corner of the couch, beside Sam.

Peter tried not to think about how close they'd be if Sam and him just switched places.

"That's because Halloween is a terrible series."

"It not!" Peter can't help interjecting. "Its right up there with Nightmare on Elm Street and  Friday the 13th."

"How do you even know what those movies are?" Clint asks, laughing on the other couch.

"I watch old movies," Peter shrugged, feeling the familiar sense of self-consciousness creep into his chest, tickling at his lungs.

"Old!" Tony barked. "Kid, the 80s aren't old."

Peter forces himself to laugh and shrug and make a joke about hanging out with people twice his age, and the conversation moves on.

But it just reminds Peter that Tony would never see him as an equal because of his age. There was no way he'd ever accept that Peter loved him. Or would love him back.

The movie plays, and Peter chews handfuls of popcorn to keep from coughing up a lung.

Bucky and Steve are on the edge of their seats, fully invested in the corny horror film when Tony starts coughing.

Everyone glances over in concern, but the man just waves his hand, mouth pressed into his elbow.

"Pop-corn-" he chokes out between coughs.

"You're supposed to chew it," Nat laughs. Peter tries not to outwardly show how worried he is when Tony's face grows red, the coughing so bad he has to get up and make his way to his bedroom down the hallway.

Everyone returns to watching the movie, but Peter can't help but wonder if Tony's okay, especially when he doesn't come back right away.

"Uh, I gotta take a leak," Peter lies, climbing to his feet.

"Thanks for sharing, little man," Sam huffed. Peter doesn't say anything else,just makes his way down the hallway.

Tony's bedroom is all the way at the end. The only people who live in the penthouse with him are Steve and Bucky, and Wanda and Vision -though they're out on a date for the night.

He passes the bathroom door, and his frown deepens when he hears Tony hacking in his bedroom.

He keeps light on his toes, reaching the bedroom door that's not all the way closed, and pushes it open just a little.

"Ton-" the sight before him cuts him off, and he ducks back a little, worried maybe the older man might've seen him.

He feels his chest tighten at the sight. Tony, leaned over with a bedside trash can between his knees, coughing up little pink flowers.

Peter's eyes widen when the man spits a glob of blood into the basket before continuing to cough.

Tears burn at Peter's eyes and he quickly backs up, rushing down the hallway and past the living room.

"Hey, where you going? Where's the fire?"

"I-I gotta go home aunt May- uh, I gotta go she wants me home," Peter shouts, snatching up his keys and phone on the way out.

He's in the elevator, and he can't stop the sobs from tightening his throat.

Tony's sick. Tony's in love with someone who doesn't love him back. Tony's in love with someone and its not Peter.

Be chokes on tears and petals all the way to the main floor, shoves the petals into his pocket and runs from the building.

He knew his love was unrequited. He knew there was no chance, but to see Tony so in love with someone else -it was like digging a knife into his heart and twisting.

He makes it to his bedroom and buries his face into his pillow, muffling his crying so May won't hear when she gets home. Hopefully she'll think hes still at the tower and won't check on him until the morning.

He cries himself to sleep, eyes gritty and heavy.

*-*

"Hey, kid, how's patrolling going?"

Peter jolts at the sudden sound of Tony's voice in his ear, momentarily forgetting he has a connection to the tower now. New upgrades.

"Uh, good," Peter huffed, swinging from building to building. "Stopped a mugging, and helped a couple people with the parking meters."

Tony chuckles over the coms. "You gotta stop showing people the coin on tape trick."

Peter can't help but smile through his mask. He clears his throat when he feels the familiar tickle at the back of his throat.

"Fuck capitalism, Mr. Stark," he says.

"You do know capitolism is kind of my job?"

"Its not," Peter countered. "I mean, it relied heavily on it in the beginning -what with the weapons and war profiteering- but you've come a long way! Sustainable energy and you're even recycling!"

Tony chuckles again, and Peter has a moment to regret his words -Tomy probably thinks he's just a dumb kid- before a coughing fit hits him out of nowhere.

It's so bad, Peter loses his momentum and drops onto a rough of a small cafe. Hes on his hands and knees, crawling from the edge of the roof as he coughs and hacks.

"Pete, you okay? What's wrong?" Comes Tony's worried voice.

Peter feels the petals coating his mouth with nowhere to go and frantically tugs on his mask. He's choking, suffocating.

He rips the mask off and heaves a mess of petals and blood onto the gravel roof.

Its never been this bad. Panic grips his chest when he coughs and wretches more than he can get a breath in. He's suffocating.

Tears burn his eyes as he struck less desperately to take a breath. Just one breath.

His head begins to spin, chest heaving and he drops from his knees to his hips, legs curled off to the side as he holds himself up with shaky arms.

There's so much blood and petals, Peter doesn't know where its all coming from.

He's too busy dying to notice the suit of armor that drops onto the  roof, or that Tony's suddenly rushing towards him.

"Jesus, kid!" He breathed.

Peter lets out a sob, blood and petals continuing to fall from his mouth. His stomach hurts from the heaving, his chest from lack of oxygen.

Tony grabs him by the arms, pulling him forward until he's away from the pile of bile, blood and blue wilting flowers, nearly cradling him in his arms.

"Its alright, you're okay, you're gonna be okay," Tony repeated, rocking Peter while he continued to cough and sob.

He shakes his head, even as exhaustion and lack of air flow has his eyelids drooping, body settling further into Tony's hold.

When he wakes up again, he's in a hospital bed. Theres an iv in the back of his hand, and a tube running down his throat from his nose.

He swallows around it and has to fight back panic at the strange feeling.

There's a heart monitor on his index finger, and a few on his chest -which is bare.

Peter moves shaky hands to the blanket and pulls it up just enough to see. Someone had taken his suit off, leaving him in his red boxers.

He blushes at that. Who had taken his suit off? Damn, he hoped it wasn't Clint or Sam.

He drops the blanket just as the door opens. He looks up to see Tony step inside and he wants the bed to swallow him whole.

"Hey, kid," he greeted, shutting the door behind him and making his way towards Peter's bed. "You had us all pretty worried."

Peter drops his eyes to the itchy white hospital sheet, picking at a loose thread and not saying anything. What was there to say?

Tony sighs as he settles down into the chair beside the bed.

"Your aunt May is in the middle of a shift, but she'll be stopping by when she's got a break to check up on you."

"Okay," Peter barely manages to murmur.

"The doctors had to pump your lungs," Tony continued. "But its not a cure, Pete. They'll come back."

Tears burn at his eyes and he quickly brushes them away, sniffling as he does so.

"I know," he said. "Its alright, I'm okay."

"Peter," Tony sighs, grabbing Peter's hand. He looks up then, seeing the concern in the older man's eyes. "You're not okay, you're really sick."

"People live with it all the time," Peter brushed off.

"Who is it?"

"What?" Peter asked, heart monitor matching his fast pulse.

"Who is it? How long have you been like this?"

and it must be because Peter is tired -exhausted and drained and so sick of being sick- because fresh tears bloom and he pulls his hand from Tony's.

"Long time," is all he can say as he presses his palms into his eyes, rubbing at the tears.

"Who," Tony presses.

Fuck it, Peter thinks. He's already dying, he's already humiliated. Why not just confess?

"You," he says, pulling his hands from his face. "I've-I've been in love with you for- for years."

He can't handle the shocked look that filters through Tony's features, so he looks down at the iv in his hand, lower lip trembling.

"And I know you don't think of me that way," he continues. "I know, so its okay, I'm fine, I'll get over it or, or get the surgery or something-"

"Peter," Tony interrupts, moving from the chair to the side of the bed. He grabs both sides of Peter's jaw, forcing him to look up at Tony. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because," he says on a wet breath. "Because you've always thought of me as a kid. You- I'm still just a kid to you, and thats okay, Mr. Stark, I'm-"

Tony's eyebrows furrow as Peter has to stop talking. He's getting to the point where he's babbling, not understandable.

"I don't think of you as a kid," Tony says.

"Yes, you do," Peter huffed, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself down. "You do, and thats okay, I promise, I've live this long with it, I'm okay."

"Has it always been that bad?"

Peter shakes his head.

"What made it worse?"

Peter's showing his hand already, he might as well expose the card up his sleeve too.

"I saw you," he murmured. "During the movie. You're sick too. I didn't mean to, I was just- checking to make sure you were okay but-"

"Peter, sweetheart," Tony interrupted, and Peter looked up at him, realizing suddenly the man's eyes are watering a little.

"I'm sick because of you."

Peter feels like someone punched the air from his lungs, and he blinks up at Tony, eyebrows drawing close as he tries to process what Tony's said.

"What?" He asks feebly. A small smile pulls at the corner of Tony's mouth and he leans forward, kissing Peter softly on the mouth.

It's a simple kiss, but it sucks the air from Peter's lungs.

"We're really bad at communicating, kid," Tony chuckled wetly, their noses brushing. Peter can't help but sniffle a laugh as well, his hands moving to grip the front of Tony's shirt.

"M'not a kid," he mumbles, pressing his forehead against Tony's. The older's hands are still cradling his face, thumbs brushing against his wet cheeks.

"No, you're not," Tony agreed.

#marvel #tony stark #peter parker #ironman #spiderman #starker #ao3 #my writing #sfsummerbingo21

[babyjamiebarnes]

Build-A-Bear

Part Two

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Peter Parker (platonic), background MCU characters

Warnings: [chapter] language; [series] language, smut, violence

Summary: The only people who knew she was actually a Stark were her dad, her step-mom Pepper, and her “uncles” Happy and Rhodey. A promotion within Stark Industries takes her from an already-sought after position in the Weapons Anaylsis Unit straight to the Avengers as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist... which means her dad is her new boss. There’s only one rule at work: no fraternizing with coworkers. There’s one more rule at home: no dating any Avengers. So what is she supposed to do when a grumpy super soldier becomes not-so-grumpy around her? At 25, do her dad’s rules still apply? Or is her entire livelihood at risk?

Author’s Note: This one was gonna be super short but I felt bad so it’s super long instead lol. I originally planned on posting shorter chapters more frequently so it might be closer to 3-4 days between parts now that I’m posting longer chapters. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! I’ve never done a tag list before so I’m going to keep the limit pretty small. And if you want, you can buy me a coffee! ❣️

(Part One)

Tags: @kennedywxlsh

About an hour later, a light knock on the lab door drew your eyes from your work to Bucky as he walked in. Peter’s eyes darted up but immediately looked back down when he realized the visitor was for you.

“Hey Bucky,” you smiled. He smiled back and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“So… you wanted to see my arm?” he said, more as a question than a reminder.

“Yeah, if you could sit right here, that’d be perfect.”

He did as you asked and took a seat on a lab chair, letting you lean across the lab table toward him so you could fiddle with his prosthetic arm. You quickly grabbed your magnifying glasses, flipping the magnifiers up so you could examine him at face value first.

After a few minutes of looking at the outer plating and sensory receptors, you pulled away.

“Can you feel with this arm?” you asked.

“I can feel pressure but I can’t actually feel with it.” You gave him a confused look, only sort of piecing together what he meant. As he fumbled over his words to explain again, you put your glasses to the side, running around to Bucky’s side again to stand in front of him.

“Okay, this might be weird but it’ll really help me. Hold your hands out, palms up.” He did as you said. “I’m going to do the same thing to both arms and then I want you to show me, using just your right arm, how it felt on each one, okay?”

Bucky nodded and watched as your fingertips gently glided over his forearms, leaving goosebumps in your wake. The second time, you brushed your palms against his skin, as if you were brushing away crumbs. The final time, you scratched your nails down his right arm, making him take in a sharp breath as he watched the skin of his arm turn a pale pink. His left arm, however, kept catching your fingernails between the plates so you resorted to scratching across instead of down.

“Okay, now show me.” You flipped both of your arms over, palm up.

Using just his flesh arm on your right arm, he grazed his fingertips over your skin, admittedly sending a shiver down your spine. You didn’t even consider how weak that touch usually makes you, especially from someone who looks like that. And you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t find him attractive before you even graduated college. You and your roommates were guilty of many nights of fuck-marry-fight with the Avengers as your victims.

When your gaze moved up to meet his, he brushed his hand over your arm, then delicately scratched his nails down your arm.

If it hadn’t been for the slight hum of machinery across the room, you’re sure Bucky would’ve heard your heart beating out of your chest.

Dad would literally kill me if he knew the thoughts going through my head right now, you thought.

“Okay,” you started, pausing briefly to clear your throat. “What about what your left arm feels?”

This one made him furrow his brows, either in concentration or confusion. He pushed his fingertips against your skin harder than before and moved them down your arm. He used more pressure again with the second movement, then went back to heavy fingertip pressure for the scratches.

“Hm,” you said simply, letting your arms drop to your sides again. “So you feel the weight of the touch but not the sensation that comes with it?” The confusion in his eyes made you rephrase. “So this on your right arm —“ you ran your fingers down his flesh arm again, “gives you goosebumps, but this on your metal arm —“ you repeated on the left, “is just a weight, no shiverbugs?”

“Shiverbugs?” he repeated with a barely noticeable smile.

“Goosebumps! Sorry. Shiverbugs is something my grandma used to say. Sometimes I slip into the family slang,” you chuckled. Bucky’s smile grew a bit at the sound of your laugh.

“Yeah, I only feel that on the right arm. No shiverbugs with the left.”

You jokingly scrunched your nose at him before returning to your previous seat. He stood there as you scribbled down notes on how he feels things and your immediate thoughts on how to make it more real for him.

“Is there anything you want done to your arm?”

Bucky seemed slightly taken aback at the question, but quickly steeled his expression. “I know Tony wanted to make it quieter,” he said.

You pushed your glasses up your nose and leaned your elbows on the table between you. You could tell he was still pretty reserved, either because you were new and he didn’t feel comfortable around you, or because he didn’t feel comfortable in the tower as a whole yet.

“I know what Tony wants,” you said gently. “What do you want?”

He frowned at this, turning his eyes to the floor as he thought. After a beat, he finally said, “I just want it to feel real again.”

And you could’ve cried right then and there. You knew the story of the Winter Soldier. You had heard what Bucky had been through. You couldn’t imagine going through anything close to what he experienced, and you’d be damned if you let him down.

But you couldn’t cry in front of him on your first day, so you smiled at him softly.

“That’s not an easy feat but I’ll do what I can, Barnes.”

He smiled briefly before frowning again. That frown seemed to be his default expression.

“Is there anything else you need?” he asked.

“Not right now. Thanks for helping me out,” you replied. He just nodded before walking out. Your eyes stayed on the door for an extra couple seconds before you spun around on your seat and scurried across the room to plop down next to Peter, who was packing his stuff to head home for the day.

“Hey, Boy Wonder, question.” Peter looked at you with raised eyebrows. Nicknaming ran in the family. “Want to use that biomolecular engineering and help me with something?”

•••

Nearly every day when you stopped in the kitchen for lunch, you’d run into Bucky. Sometimes he’d be with Sam, sometimes Steve, sometimes on his own. But almost every single day, he’d be in the common room chatting or the kitchen eating. For the first couple weeks, he was a little tense when you were around. You’d hear him and Sam bickering as you approached, just to see him quiet down once you entered the room. It was a bit disheartening at first, but when it was just the two of you, he always engaged.

You’d called him into the lab a couple times to look over his arm again, but you always felt bad taking him away from whatever training or cases he was working on. The digital renderings were always there, and you spent plenty of time digging into those and running simulations of the different ways you could muffle the wiring. And it’s a good thing you ran the simulations, because a couple of them would’ve fried his whole arm and then some.

Peter was a great help too. When he wasn’t working on his own projects, he’d poke his nose into your work and throw out recommendations. Robotics may have been your specialty, but the kid knew his stuff. He’s the only reason you finally figured out the perfect combo to quiet Bucky’s arm without knocking him out.

Nearly four weeks after your first day — and a week after Peter went back to campus, leaving you alone in the lab — you cornered Bucky in the communal kitchen again and turned on your classic Stark charm.

“Hey Bucky,” you said sweetly, leaning over the counter across from him while he tossed fruit into a blender.

“Hey [Y/N].”

You’d grown a bit more comfortable with each other, mainly from when you two were left alone. He still was a bit quieter with one of his friends around, but he was growing more talkative in general. You felt comfortable tossing nicknames at him; he felt comfortable saying “hey” instead of “hi” and once gave you your own nickname. Since you called him Bucky Bear a time or two, he called you Build A Bear. He almost looked panicked when it slipped, but your initial shock was quickly followed by giggles, easing the tension in his shoulders. But the feeling that name sent to your stomach felt more like bats than butterflies. He even joked with you now.

“So I’ve been looking at the blueprints we have for your arm and I was wondering — I know this is a lot to ask — could I maybe spend some more time digging around in your arm?” You flashed him a hopeful smile, even propping your chin on your hand to look cuter.

Before he answered, he put the lid on the blender and started it, staring at you blankly as the sound filled the entire room. You just sat there, continuing to smile at him. And the more you fluttered your lashes while he let the blender run, the more you could see his frown-y facade start to crack.

He finally broke into a smile when he shut the machine off.

“You don’t have to ask, [Y/N]. I mainly train in the mornings so my afternoons are free. As long as I’m here, you can call me in whenever.”

You jumped up and ran around the counter, giving him an unexpected hug, made obvious by the way he tensed up. You elected to ignore it.

“You’re the best, Bucky Bear.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he said, gently pulling away from you to pour his smoothie into two glasses. “I just have one stipulation.” You looked up at him expectantly. “Take the rest of this? I, uh, I made a bit too much.”

With a laugh, you grabbed the nearly full glass and led him down the halls to your lab. Since Peter was only coming back one weekend a month, you had kind of taken over the lab, adding some color to make your workspace a little less drab. Your guilty pleasures playlist — aka your favorite middle school dance songs — played quietly over the speakers as you directed Bucky to sit down.

Getting into his arm wasn’t the easiest task. You had to pry off the opening of each individual outer plate, then unscrew — yes, with a screwdriver — the covering on the inner plates to actually see the wiring inside. Fortunately, Bucky brought his phone with him so he could occupy himself and let you focus. You were a bit surprised at how easily he understood modern technology, but he wasn’t quite the old man Steve was when it came to the changing times.

After spending a solid 10 minutes leaning over the lab table to open Bucky’s arm, you poked around inside for a while, jotting down notes as you went. Shuri had sent Tony quite a few notes for you to reference, but seeing everything firsthand and taking your own notes always helped.

Unfortunately, Bucky had two removable sections in his arm: one on his forearm, one in his bicep.

“Scale of one to ten, how comfy does the table look?” you asked.

Bucky looked up from his phone and gave you a confused look. “Uh, maybe a two? Why?”

“Well, Buckaroo, I need to get to the top plate too so you’ll have to either hold your arm up for me to get to it or lie down somewhere.”

He glanced back down at the table, then looked at you in confusion as he voiced his own suggestion. “What about the couch in the common room?”

You tapped your nose and pointed at him with a smile, gathering your supplies and the rest of Bucky’s arm. He led the way, lying flat on the couch and raising his left arm over his head.

“Is it okay if I play more music out here?” you asked as you unloaded everything.

“Sure. I should probably catch up on modern music anyway,” he said with a soft smile. You had Friday play your guilty pleasures playlist again while you got to work on opening up the top of Bucky’s arm.

You’d been poking around for almost 20 minutes when the silence was broken.

“Music nowadays is so sexual,” Bucky said suddenly.

“Hm. What makes you say that?” you asked, only half paying attention as you drew up more stream-of-consciousness notes on the coffee table beside you.

“This song.” You paused and immediately recognized the beat for “Candy Shop” by 50 Cent.

“Oh come on, as if you didn’t have any inappropriate songs in the ‘40s,” you scoffed.

“Of course we did but it was never this blatant! We were more subtle back then,” Bucky defended.

“Bro,” you deadpan. “If you think ‘Candy Shop’ is obvious, you have way more catching up to do. Friday, play ‘WAP’ by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion.”

You watched Bucky react as the song started. Even the initial “there’s some whores in this house” made his eyes go wide. At “wet ass pussy make that pull out game weak,” he turned to you, beet red in the face.

“What kind of music do you listen to?!”

“This is a popular song!” you laughed. “We have some obviously sexual songs that aren’t quite as… vulgar too. Friday, play ‘T-Shirt’ by Thomas Rhett.”

Bucky eyed you cautiously this time, not quite sure if you were actually playing a more censored song. He visibly relaxed when he heard the first lyrics, “Get off of work and we meet down at our spot. We got a patio with a view of a parking lot.”

“See, this is already so much better.”

“Don’t act so innocent,” you smirked, rolling your eyes at him.

“That sounds like an accusation,” Bucky laughed.

“Oh, it is.”

“Yeah? What’s that supposed to mean?” He sat up to face you directly, one leg landing on each side of your body sitting on the floor. His posture combined with his playful conversation had you wondering where this confidence came from. Because you definitely liked it.

“Come on,” you scoffed. “You can’t convince me a face like that,” you pointed directly at him to emphasize your point, “wasn’t making panties drop left and right back in the day.”

He shook his head and laughed to himself, leaning back on the couch, yet made no move to deny your accusation.

“Who would’ve known my sweet little Bucky Bear was a player?” you joked.

“Oh, like you’re not the same way, Build A Bear.”

“Excuse me?!” you squealed. “I’ll have you know I’m a good little Christian girl and I’m saving myself for marriage,” you said with a grin, maneuvering from sitting on your butt to kneeling and clasping your hands together like you were praying.

“You’re a lot of things, [Y/N]. A good liar is not one of those things,” Bucky smirked.

Your mouth fell agape. You liked this confident, playful side of him. You’d only seen glimpses until now.

“What’s your number?” you asked, dropping your hands to your sides.

“Uhh… My phone number?”

“No, your sexual body count,” you laughed, making sure to clarify; former assassins probably have a different interpretation of ‘body count.’ “How many people have you slept with?”

You knew it was a personal question but given the topic of conversation and casual tone you’d both taken on, it didn’t seem totally out of bounds.

Bucky thought for a second, slowly counting on his fingers. Your eyes watched as the slender metal digits flicked up: one, two, three... “Four.”

“Yeah, okay,” you scoffed.

“Why is that so hard to believe?” Bucky said with a laugh.

“Because that’s my body count.”

“Doll, I took plenty of dames out on the town, but I’d leave the night with a kiss and nothing else,” he said, that old school Brooklyn lilt sneaking up on him.

You sighed and shook your head, still not believing him but choosing to let it go for now.

“Give me your arm,” you said, holding your hand out. Bucky let his arm drop into your hand while you picked up a microchip with a needle-thin pair of tweezers. “This will adhere to the vibranium and essentially act like a pillow to muffle the sounds of your arm. So it’ll still make noise — I can’t just get rid of all sound — but it’ll be notably quieter.”

You tucked the chip under the inner plating of Bucky’s arm, watching as it sparked over the metal to let you both know it was working.

“Now lie back down so I can put you back together, Humpty Dumpty,” you said.

Bucky let out a quiet chuckle, but leaned back on the couch with his left arm over his head. After 15 minutes of angling the plating just right so it would fit back together, you climbed off the couch, distancing yourself from Bucky for the first time in nearly four hours.

“Anything else I can help the mad scientist with today?” Bucky asked. He had moved to rest his elbows on his knees, looking up at you from his spot on the sofa.

You checked your watch to see how much time you had left in your workday. 4:15. Forty-five minutes until you can clock out for the weekend. Not quite close enough to bullshit through some dumb side project so you don’t get too invested. But there’s one thing you wanted to check out to improve the feeling in Bucky’s arm.

“Can you take your shirt off?” you asked plainly.

Bucky’s eyes went wide for half a second before he slipped back into his playful demeanor. “Shouldn’t you take me on a date first?”

“Shut up,” you giggled. You giggled. “I just want to see how the arm is connected to your torso.”

Without pause, Bucky leaned forward, grabbed the back of his shirt, and tugged it over his head to let it fall to the floor. Unfortunately for you, you didn’t consider what he’d look like underneath his clothing, so it took you a second to gather your bearings again. You couldn’t help yourself. How could you not admire the slender lines of his collarbones, the thick layer of muscle covering his chest, the distinct ridges on his abdomen speckled with scars, the very tip of what you could only assume were two tantalizing depressions leading right to —

“Like what you see, doll?” he smirked.

Your eyes met his, reluctantly pulling away from what you knew would be the source of your dreams tonight.

“Four, my ass,” you mumbled in fake annoyance, kneeling between his thighs again to get a better look at him. Your fingertips trailed along the smooth line of scarred skin bordering the harsh metal of his arm. It took all your willpower to focus on work instead of the heat his body was radiating being so close to each other. “Was this how, you know, they put your arm on?”

Bucky shook his head, his expression growing sullen at the indirect mention of his tormentors. “They just kind of dug away at it. The Wakandans actually cut away a bit more of my skin to allow for healthier healing.”

You could tell it was carefully done, judging by the faint discoloring and thin ridge alongside the metal, as opposed to angry red lines that protruded out like the photos Shuri sent.

“Does this area hurt?” You pressed your hand flat to the scar; Bucky had to try to reign in his heartbeat. You had leaned in close to see his arm, leaving you close enough for him to just dip his head down and —

“What’s going on here?”

Both of you whipped your heads to the side to see a very confused — and slightly annoyed — Tony standing in the entrance to the common room, clearly just passing by and stumbling on a somewhat compromising situation: his daughter on her knees between a shirtless Winter Soldier’s thighs.

Without taking your eyes off your father, you reached around on the coffee table and grabbed your notebook.

“Research! I promise!”

“Research that couldn’t happen in your designated lab?” You could tell there was so much more he wanted to say, but had to keep it to himself for now to avoid telling Bucky who you really were.

“I had to open the compartment in his tricep area and didn’t want to make him lie down on the lab tables for three hours.” The accusatory glare from your dad made you shrink into yourself, your voice growing quieter as you spoke. Fridays were family dinner night, and you already knew you wouldn’t hear the end of this.

“Uh-huh,” he said slowly, still eyeing you and Bucky suspiciously. “And why did he need to be half naked for that?”

“Da — Tony,” you said, barely catching yourself. “I mean, Mr. Stark. I was examining the scar tissue and spinal connection to determine how to enhance the sensory receptors currently embedded in the vibranium.”

Tony’s eyes flitted between you and Bucky. Your eyes were wide, clearly nervous as he grilled you. Bucky, on the other hand, was flushed pink and leaning a little too close for Tony’s comfort.

“Keep this PG from now on, okay? And no working outside of the lab. This is Stark Tower, not Bezos Tower. We’re not gonna work you to the bone.” He started to walk away before stepping back and adding, “No fraternizing with coworkers, remember?”

With a quick nod, you stood abruptly and gathered your things to take it back to your lab for the night. Bucky was quick to slip his shirt back on and followed you with his head down to avoid the burning gaze of your father — or as far as he knew, his boss.

You didn’t expect Bucky to go back to your lab with you, but part of you was glad he did. Being around him brought you a sense of calm and comfort, even after what just happened. If he had just walked away, you’d assume the worst: that an accusation like that was far from what he wanted to hear.

You set all your things back on your table to start putting them away when Bucky shoved his hands into his pockets and cleared his throat.

“Sorry about that,” he said. You spared a quick glance at him, seeing the tension in his shoulders as he chose his words carefully.

“Why?” you asked, genuinely confused on how that situation was somehow his fault.

“Tony… he doesn’t really like me much.”

“Yeah, I know,” you laughed. “But that was way more of a me-problem than a you-problem. We’ll just have to work in here from now on.” You shrugged and went back to putting your tools in their respective drawers.

Bucky still stood right inside the doorway, the door shut behind him so no one outside could hear you two. He rocked back and forth on his feet, trying to force himself to follow through with at least mentioning what he planned on asking you.

“I was actually gonna see if you wanted to get dinner together sometime until Tony gave us that speech,” he chuckled.

You slid the final drawer shut and turned to Bucky. You knew you two were getting closer and you couldn’t deny feeling an attraction to him, but you never expected him to feel that same pull. The thought made you smile back at him while he cracked his knuckles, most likely from nerves. What happened to that fun and flirty attitude he had just a few minutes ago?

Your grandma always said to never date a man who wasn’t nervous about asking you out...

“I’m pretty good at keeping secrets,” you said quietly.

His eyes stopped darting around the room to find your gaze. You stepped closer, taking slow steps as you crossed the room to him until you were toe to toe. He didn’t take his eyes off of you until you held your phone out to him.

“I won’t tell if you don’t,” you said with a small smirk.

His lips curled into a small smile as he snatched your phone and entered his number.

“I’ll text you my address. Does tomorrow night work?” you asked, unintentionally biting your lip but not missing the way Bucky’s eyes followed the movement.

“Tomorrow sounds great,” he replied.

“Okay. See you tomorrow, Buck.” You took a bit of a risk and stood on your tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek, his face immediately flushing red. Your own cheeks grew warm when you stepped back, tossing Bucky a quick wave as you turned back around and hoping he’d leave before you started screaming.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x Stark!reader #bucky barnes x Stark!reader #Stark!reader #bucky barnes fanfic

[captaintrio]

MCU for the fandom ask

-cracks knuckles- okay I have slept and eaten let's DO THIS (for you my v dearly beloved <3)

**

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most):

Bucky Bucky Bucky Bucky Bucky Bucky. And Steve, and Sam, and the version of Natasha that I have in my mind at all times. Essentially the whole Cap Crew is my most especially dearly beloved. There's also like. I have a very specific characterization of Tony that my bestie and I kinda perfected over the years of active MCU interest whom I love and adore, but v similarly to Natasha the actual canon MCU had no earthly idea about who they wanted him to be so he was like. A different dude from film to film, and a lot of the time that dude was a prick.

Honorable mention for Actually a Good Dad Scott Lang, as at this point there are like 3 good fathers ever and he is one of them and he is. fictional.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

Clint Barton is very Shaped and a scrungus no matter what they tried to do with Jeremy Renner and I will take that to my GRAVE. That man is the dude who calls you at 3 AM to come to his apt and it seems like it's gonna be a booty call but he's just gotten his hand stuck in a jar of salsa and can't figure out how to get it outta there without breaking it. he is precious and ridiculous and scrunkly and I love him.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave):

She got a lot of hate and apathy (as most afab characters that aren't immediately sexually available tend to do) but I really think Nakia from Black Panther is so fucking amazing, like. She was so competent, and she and Okoye were such incredible narrative foils for each other in that they were both doing what they thought was best for Wakanda, and they both refused to sacrifice their morals or honor to do so. Nakia also did what women are rarely allowed to do in media (especially not the MCU god fucking forbid), which was to love a man without subsuming herself into him. She very clearly and genuinely loved T'Challa, but never once did that stop her from being true to herself, or doing what she needed to do, and I just...hhh -clenches fist- I love her.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week):

Literally every character in GOTG that was in the background while Peter and the gang were trying to catch Gamora and getting their asses kicked for their troubles, like. There was a lot of like screaming and trying to get out of the way, sure, but iirc people were just like 'o damn that's nuts lmfao' standing around eating and watching the dipshittery and I love all of them for that.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):

I actually feel really sad for Vision, as boring as the writers liked to make him, like. That was Jarvis! That was Just A Rather Very Intelligent System, he was our AI buddy and then like. What. He gets an infinity stone jammed into his processing center and has to have a body now?? Be physically perceived??? Everyone that he's been looking after as an AI attacks him while he's JUST being born and having to figure out what legs are, and then he stumbles into a relationship at what is for him effectively age like 2, with the most powerful person canonically in the universe who is!!! basically just another infinity stone, and he gets to spend some time romping around with her kind of before some giant insufferable economics major who can't let go of the Malthusian model despite the fact that it's been undermined to hell and back by now like digs?? his brain out of his skull??? and then he's a hallucination for a while and then he just dies??? Bro had like -198732% of a chance, and things were very stressful for him at all times.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

Thanos, Howard Stark, I don't care how charming he seemed in Agent Carter, Ronan, Odin still again and always, Alexander Pierce, literally anyone that ever hurt Bucky, essentially everyone that I want to put in superhell is going there via the horse plinko feeder tube, I don't care if all these people are dead PLINKO for 10,000 years and then superhell.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell):

The above list of fuckwits and shitweasels, though I am also going to include Joss Whedon for all of his very public and obvious war crimes, and Kevin Feige for shelving Serpent Society in favor of jamming Civil War into the MCU docket without bothering to do ANY of the build up or lay ANY of the groundwork that actually made the Civil War story arc poignant or important in any way.

#ask games #ask #answered #markwatnae #bby ily I'm sorry this took until today!

[thesokovianaccords]

Fic Rec Tag Game

I was tagged in this almost TWO YEARS AGO by the fabulous @theawkwardterrier and am just now getting to it as I clean out my drafts folder (lol sorry Leah...)

Rules: Spell out your user name using titles of fics you like and/or love -  any fic that you enjoy for any reason whatsoever. Then tag at least one fandom friend to do the same.

WARNING! Only begin if you have time to kill. (This is FOR REAL! Even if you’re not digging around to find a specific fic, or trying to match a particular letter, or trying to decide which options to include, you WILL get caught up reading!)

Bonus option! Give it a 1-5 knowledge rating (KR) in terms of how well you need to know canon to enjoy the fic. 1 meaning “no previous knowledge necessary” and 5 meaning “need to be well-versed in all of canon.

(Jesus why is my url so long)

again, this is two years overdue so I have no idea who did this - but feel free to consider this me tagging you! it was so fun to go back through my bookmarks to find these fics lol 

time & spaces. by thesemovingparts - pre-michelle jones/peter parker, michelle jones is tony stark’s daughter (just trust me lol). KR: 3.5

Hold Your Voice In My Heart (Till I Can Hold You In My Arms) by fluffernutter8 - steve rogers/peggy carter (aka that time that @theawkwardterrier wrote a madam secretary au bc she is the Actual Best). KR: 3.0

Extended Disarming by tara_stofse - phryne fisher/jack robinson - a short fluffy ficlet that really encapsulates them, I think. KR: 3.0.

Swipe Right, Swing Left by downn_in_flames - james potter/lily evans, a modern american politics/tinder au. yes I know. KR: 2.5.

one time thing. by bemusedbicycle - kate sharma/anthony bridgerton, modern au. hot af. KR: 2.0.

know your devils and your deeds by irnan - pepper potts/tony stark. an oldie but a goodie, god I love them. KR: 3.0 for 2012 mcu haha.

One For the Money (And Four to Go) by Lavendergaia - jemma simmons/leo fitz, daisy johnson/antoine triplett. bachelor auction au. excellence. KR: 2.5.

The Viscount Who Courted Me by theladyrainbow - kate sharma/anthony bridgerton. an au in which anthony pursues kate from day one. KR: 3.5. (it’s technically a T but mind ya business).

in tongues and quiet sighs by Elizabeth (anghraine) - cassian andor/jyn erso, han solo/leia organa. “Alderaanian runs under all the intersections of Leia Organa's and Cassian Andor's lives.” KR: 4.0.

A Strange New Story Every Time by gyzym - logan echolls/veronica mars. KR: 3.0.

no one can stop me, not even gravity or nasa by magneticwave - leia organa/han solo. KR: 4.5.

Any Fin Goes by vextant - gen. avengers. a heist. a shark. truly one of my favorites. KR: 2.0.

Casablanca by BeeDaily - james potter/lily evans. modern au. I love them. KR: 2.5.

Corner Man by Snapjack - james bond/eve moneypenny. oh yes. KR: 4.0.

One Hundred and Eleven Days by themonkeycabal - bucky barnes/darcy lewis, darcy lewis is tony stark’s daughter. ‘run verse. this whole series is one of my all-time favorites, but picking this one bc I needed a fic that started with ‘o’ but also bc it’s emotionally wrecked me for years :D KR: 4.0.

Rosehill Cottage by agentverbivore (verbivore8642) - leo fitz/jemma simmons, a holiday-esque au. a delight! KR: 3.5.

Don't Stop Me Now by CloudAtlas - clint barton/natasha romanoff, peggy carter/steve rogers, pepper potts/tony stark. college au, another oldie but a goodie. KR 2.5.

Summer Soldier by Remember When (scribblemyname) - bucky barnes/susan pevensie, one of the only ones out there. I need more people to understand how this ship is important to me and to the world at large. KR 3.5. 

#from the vault (aka the drafts folder) #omg this took so long but it was worth it #ask meme #anything to avoid doing my schoolwork ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #originally tagged in may 2020 haha

[gaknar]

This is only the second drawn out expository scene featuring Val Cooper and Colonel Vazhin, and I’m already sick of this gooseberry. This guy makes it a real point to be sure he’s addressed as “the Spymaster.” Why? Because he’s so good at spying??? Because he blends in so seamlessly with his surroundings in a chameleon-like way and is a complete master of disguise??? Give me a break. Every time we see him he’s wearing those same stupid sunglasses with one of the lenses missing. Last issue he was at a dance club so he could discretely have a classified conversation (while still wearing the stupid sunglasses). When he’s in a crowded public space in these comics, he’s the only person I recognize!

At the time of this writing, I’m only on the second episode of Falcon and the Winter Soldier (and honestly I think it’s pretty boring), but all this talk here about the Power Broker makes me wonder if the MCU is planning some grand reveal of the Shadow King!!! That would be awesome!!! I mean sure, they cast Peter Evans to play Quicksilver in Wandavision, who is the only person on Earth who could be cast in that role and also intrinsically carry with him an acknowledgement of the X-Men movie universe, and that turned out to be a dick joke, but this could be different!!! Maybe the Shadow King has been pulling all the strings!! Sigh. You know how I can tell that I patently dislike all the MCU shit on Disney+? The most interesting thing about it to me is the possibility of other, more interesting characters and stories being involved. I just could not give two shits about the Avengers. They are, and always have been, some of the most boring superheroes in comic books. They are D-Level. Hot take. If the X-Men is Marvel’s most popular and successful comic, they are A level. Following them would be Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four. They get a B+. Then you’ve got the edgier stuff like Daredevil and the Punisher. I’d say that stuff is B level. And now let’s take a breath here before we step off this cliff, because there’s a reason that these were the first properties Marvel sold off to movie studios when they were about to go bankrupt in the 1990s. It’s because the X-Men and Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four and Daredevil were Marvel’s best properties. And after all the other properties I just listed, THEN you’ve got the fucking Avengers. Captain America and fucking Thor and fucking Tony Stark. I’m sorry but it’s true!!! No one gave a shit about any of those characters until Marvel had to dig them out of their couch cushions because they had already sold off their best stuff. D LEVEL. Seriously that Evan Peters thing pissed me off. (Uncanny X-Men #264 – July 1990)

#x-men #xmfbte #clare5 #uncannyxmen264 #Valerie Cooper #colonel vazhin

[goosegoblin]

I'm genuinely really confused. What is an anti and an anti-anti??????

can, open, worms, everywhere-

I will try my best but I’m struggling to not strawman, so I do recommend doing your own research etc to make sure I’m not misrepresenting. Tucked under a read more because it’s long and may cause brain rot. if any of y’all fuckin @ me with your personal opinions on why this post means i’m going directly to super predator hell or something, you just get winnie the pooh with teeth. don’t say i didn’t warn you

(click here to view full post if you’re on my theme and the post seems to end here)

Anti, short for ‘anti-shipper’, refers to people who believe that what a person ships, writes, creates art of or consumes content about directly relates to their moral opinions and attitude, and should be judged accordingly. The main three topics I see them bring up and challenge are incest, paedophillia and abuse. They believe that fiction featuring these is problematic as it can lead to the normalisation of damaging and abusive behaviour. They are often concerned about the potential for minors to access this content.

I went digging to try and find some examples to avoid putting words in people’s mouths etc. Here’s a couple:

If you’re writing abuse/rape/racism/pedophilia AND ROMANTICIZING it INSTEAD OF CONDEMNING it, then maybe try to re-evaluate why you feel like other people’s source of pain and trauma excites and titillates you enough to be enthusiastically dismissive about the issues people are raising, and why other people’s bad experience should simply be relegated to wank material status for you.

another:

I think aging up to suit underage ships isn't okay (for example, MCU Peter Parker/Tony Stark), because that's you seeing chemistry between an adult and a child and thinking they'd be Hot Couple even though their dynamic is strongly suggestive of a familial bond.

(the next is on the topic of Call Me By Your Name)

As to the grown ass adults getting off to a 24 year old man going after a 17 year old boy AKA a teen that's high school aged, if you REALLY don't see anything wrong with enjoying a 24 year old preying on a 17 year old- fictional or real- then that just shows how desensitized you've become to it, and as much as you might want to claim it's a normal fandom thing, it's simply not psychologically healthy or normal to get off to a boy being sexualized by an adult.

So that’s their side of things!

Pro-shippers- or anti antis- by comparison, believe that if something is correctly tagged, warned and labelled, it has a right to exist, and a person should not be harassed for creating it/ engaging with it etc. There are lots of other points made here- about censorship, coping mechanisms for trauma, personal responsibility and autonomy, the nature of fiction as a safe place to explore etc- but honestly, it does kind of boil down to.... ‘none of this is real, and you are fully able to choose not to look at it’.

One main issue that comes up is that that, quite often, ‘antis’ feel rather intensely about their stance. I’ve seen a huge amount of hate mail, death threats, hate messages etc aimed at people creating ‘problematic’ material. Additionally, there’s like... a definition creep? Over time? So ‘paedophillic content’ can easily refer to like... high school AUs that include sex, or relationships where an age gap is present. And there’s a lot of guilt by association, so if you follow someone who follows someone who reblogs Thorki, You Are Also Problematic.

There’s also a tendency to focus on individuals rather than bigger or more mainstream stuff. Game of Thrones is infamously full of rape, incest, paedophillia, torture etc, but it doesn’t get anywhere near the level of attention and grief that Reylo shippers seem to. I can’t believe I just wrote a sentence about Reylo shippers in the year 2021. Good fucking God.

Anecdote: I actually left the Pathologic fandom on Twitter after seeing somebody attacked and isolated for saying “I don’t like or write incest or age gap stuff, but if people want to write it I won’t attack them for it”. This got quickly translated into ‘[username] is a paedophile’, and then it was all ‘if you follow [username] block me now, you pedo apologist’. Like... see how earlier today I got called a paedophile for reblogging this post? That was some SPEED OF LIGHT stuff, folks. That’s seemingly a person who has followed me for years and instantly decided I’m One Of The Bad People now. 

so like, I guess I fall into the category of ‘anti anti’, because my take remains ‘you have the right to enjoy whatever content you want, and I have the right to judge you for it’ lmao

but if I ever wade deep enough into the mess of teenagers vs thirty-something year old ‘fandom moms’ that these debates tend to become to self-identify, I will launch myself immediately into the sun, so-

#wank for ts #i'll take 'posts that will get me cancelled' for $500 #Anonymous #honk response

[dragonnan]

Sharing Saturday - a List of Fic Recs

I haven’t restricted this to a number but I’m also doing my best to keep it from going out of control, too.  I pretty much just have 2 consistent fandoms that I read/write so if you like either the MCU or Sherlock then this is the post for you!

MCU:

Adventures Throughout the Multiverse (Series) by Aelaer Jumping into different dimensions always involves risk. Sometimes you never know what sort of troubles you will run into until you have arrived. Thankfully, alongside these dangers a sorcerer is sometimes lucky enough to come upon unexpected allies.

In which Stephen encounters characters from characters from JRR Tolkien to even his own doppelgänger in Sherlock Holmes. I LOVE these!! Not only supremely clever and lovingly researched but just straight up entertaining as fuck!  @aelaer writes some of the best Doctor Strange fic that I’ve read on on top of all that is a spectacular artist besides!

Omertà by HanukoYoukai After chasing down the criminal that took Uncle Ben's life, Peter is found by James Wesley, the right-hand man of Wilson Fisk--a wealthy businessman trying to clean up Hell's Kitchen. Having left a strong impression on the man, soon Peter finds himself working for Fisk, doing an internship for his business projects by day, and catching bad guys at night. If Mr. Fisk wants a few specific criminals delivered to him personally, who is Peter to object? All his boss wants to do is talk, after all, and ever since this internship began, things were finally looking up for the Parkers. Then Peter hears the whispers in the underworld about the elusive and terrifying Kingpin, and somehow there are rumors that Spider-Man is on the Crime Lord's payroll. When he decides to use his own judgement and go against Mr. Fisk's wishes, Peter suddenly finds himself neck deep in mob activity with no means to get himself out. To make matters worse, now Iron Man has Peter in his sights.....

I LOVE her writing - the interpretations of Peter Parker and fantastic and do right by him in a big way.  Peter is actually the teenager I expect to encounter - with all of the nuance and emotion that I want to see!  On top of that THIS is some top notch Tony Stark - again, very true to canon with his Stark snark intact!

Identity Saga (Series) by KitCat992 An organically developed, platonic slow-burn of Avengers-fam dynamic with a heavy hand of Irondad & Spiderson. Throw in an overdose of whump, a couple of cunning villains and a big-bad hiding in the shadows, and you got yourself this hot mess.

Another stunning Peter Parker writer and OH my gosh if you are an IronDad fan and haven’t read this yet like what in THE hell are you doing?? Strap that seatbelt tight and paste your eyeballs to this series you will NOT be disappointed!

A Twisted Upheaval (WIP) by silentsaebyeok “I’m afraid, Harrison, you’ve awakened a sleeping giant.” Wilson said. “Tony Stark will do anything and everything to protect those he loves. And with your carelessness, it is inevitable that my criminal empire will be brought to its knees. This is your last opportunity, your last chance to get this right. He is on our radar now.” -- The Kingpin runs the criminal underworld. He is the mastermind and the puppeteer. Tony Stark has been trying to find the elusive gangster for years, but with no luck. But then Peter Parker is kidnapped by an agent of the Kingpin’s, revealing the cracks in an otherwise unshakeable organization. Unlikely alliances form and friendships are made as the criminal underworld begins to unravel.

*Smacks my desktop* THIS story!! It isn’t even completed yet but this fic is top level epic! This one, along with Omertà, got me totally hooked on Wilson Fisk interfering with both Peter and Tony and boy does it deliver on those dynamics!!

Sherlock:

Got My Eye on You (Series) by 7PercentSolution These stories cover just about everything from Greg's POV, from the first day they met when Sherlock was 17 through the pre-John years, John's arrival, their work together, the fall and the reunion, covering events in broadcast series 1-3 (and 4 eventually). If you ever wondered why Greg Lestrade was one of the three people Moriarty targeted, this is your answer. 

Frankly I love everything I’ve read so far - the stories are incredible and deep and not afraid to dig into hard subjects.  There is a wealth of backstory and Sherlock’s younger years and all the hardships he dealt with.  I’m especially in love with the OC, Sam - what a treasured character!

It takes John Watson to save your life. by Sparkypip A series of One shots where John saves Sherlock's life in so many ways. Will be updated sporadically as and when I get any time to write. As always I like my characters hurt, so plenty of angst, H/C, whump and bromance (no slash) will ensue. Please comment if you can.

These were some of the first Sherlock fics I ever read and I have been hooked on this writer to this day!  SO satisfyingly whumpy and on top of that many of the stories have their own comfort follow up story!!

A Sharp, Dressed Man 'verse (Series) by sgam76

I just love this series to bits and while the author considers is a break from heavier subjects, don’t for one second think that means it can’t take a deep dive into its own mythology nor deliver a freaking spectacular tale!  I have loved vampire AU for a long time and this series is pure delight and hits every damn button for me! You want a cool interpretation of vampires? BAM! You want family dynamics to the extreme? BAM AGAIN!  You want exploration of creature angst? BAM BAM BAAAAM!!! I’ve already read through these three or five times and I can promise I will do so again!

The Chemist by TheGracefulBlueCat Sherlock returns to Baker Street and faces detox. But he feels too exhausted and bad to go through it fully conscious, so he - once more - uses his mind palace to distract him with an old case. But due to his drug issues and the tension between him and John things don't work as smoothly as everyone hoped they would, confronting Sherlock and all his friends with more of their demons than they would have liked to.

This writer is absolutely on-point with the writing of these characters - especially Sherlock.  It was primarily through this writing that I felt I got such a good view of why the interpretation of Sherlock as autistic makes sense - but that it is the only truly logical conclusion. Not to mention the fanart @ceruleanmindpalace (same person) creates will leave you breathless!!   

Who You Really Are (Series) by EnglandsGray So very like her, to take something he would otherwise find inconsequential – boring – and transform it into something he couldn’t live without...For Sherlock, after Sherrinford, none of the worlds he inhabits will ever be the same again. He can see a way to rebuild, but he is terrified.  For Molly Hooper, strength is something she feels she is losing by the day, but the time has come for her to stand her ground.

Ohhhh my gosh like deep dive right into the pit of angst! And yet so soft and precious.  This first story of the series is one that I’m still going through and it is unbelievably rich and welling with delicious plot stuff and relationship and hurt/comfort and just - you gotta read iiit!!!

He Is Different, This One by ASilvergirl How would the Serbian "interrogation" go if his captors knew that Sherlock was neuroatypical and had synaesthesia? This is an alternate version of the scene from "The Empty Hearse."

I mean, how could I not love this fic? For the record I’m still not even a little bit tired of fics that explore what may have happened in Serbia.  It is just one of the most unresolved moments in  the series - going from that damn beating to him walking in on John like I NEED MOOORE!!! And this fic gives me SO much more than I could have expected!  Plus I’m always doubly onboard with a story that depicts Sherlock as neuroatypical.

There are sooooo many more fics I could link!! As it is I’ve been at this for about 3 hours and I’m dropping to the floor.  But to see the rest of the stories I’ve loved please check out my bookmarks!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

definitive VERY SERIOUS ranking of MCU characters, best to trash

Gamora and Nebula - tied for first place because prickly, traumatized assassin women? that’s my shit. prickly, traumatized assassin women working through their issues TOGETHER and growing closer as sisters? YEAH, babey! that’s the shit! I love them and they deserved arcs that loved them, too. biggest injustice in the MCU.

Thor - absolutely excellent. amazing work. distinguished slut vibes and a radiant beam on sunshine in this shithole world. again, never saw Endgame, but he deserved better.

Sam Wilson - going strong since 2014, babey. just an all-around great guy, good for him finally getting his own show. will I be watching it? absolutely not. not a force on god’s green earth could make me care enough to pirate a marvel television show in this the year of our lord and savior 2020, even if he is a very cool dude with wings. 

Bucky Barnes - all the fun of Steve but no moral quandaries because everything bad that he did happened when he was being controlled by nazis and he feels really bad about it uwu

Peter Parker - yes OBVIOUSLY the movies did Peter dirty, we’ve all seen a fucking essay about it, making him Iron Man Jr was wack and being poor doesn’t look like that, but he’s cute and fun and I like Tom Holland, who was the emotional anchor who forced me to keep giving a sliver of a shit during Infinity War. Far From Home was pretty not good but would I see another Spider-Man movie? fuck, maybe.

Steve Rogers - idk I just think he’s neat. really love how he’s shaped like a dorito and hates nazis.

James Rhodes - I don’t think Rhodey’s ever said or done anything that wasn’t iconic and for that he deserves to be exactly one spot above his idiot best friend.

Tony Stark - I hold possibly the most unpopular opinion on Tony Stark on this entire hellsite, which is that he’s just fine. he’s fun sometimes, he’s irritating sometimes, he made some points during Civil War. he should probably lose more points for being a former war profiteer but if I started digging into comic book logic too much I’d have to change my url because Batman cooperates with cops and endangers children, so idk.

T’Challa - I don’t remember a TON about T’Challa’s actual personality because it’s been like 4 years since Black Panther came out and he had like 2 lines in Infinity War, but he’s a powerful nerd/jock multiclasser who spends most of his time surrounded by women who are very smart and dangerous and much cooler than him and I really respect that.

Natasha Romanoff - Natasha is difficult to rank because for a long time her dominant defining characteristic was being The Girl One, which means she has a different personality in pretty much every movie, and it was never interesting. if Marvel had rubbed two brain cells together and given her a solo movie between 2012 and 2015 she might have fared better, but alas. press F in the chat for Nat’s potential.

Groot, Rocket, Drax, Mantis - I love these funky socially incompetent aliens. more of them, please.

Bruce Banner - only interesting in Ragnarok when he’s Thor’s anxious comedic foil and boyfriend; thank you for that small gift, Taika. I never saw Endgame because I love myself, so I don’t know anything about professor Hulk and I don’t want to.

Peter Quill - fun in theory but loses points for being such a painful walking embodiment of the extremely heterosexual “idiot manchild gets hot competent gf by virtue of being white cishet protagonist man.” shut the fuck up she’s way too good for him.

Wanda Maximoff - despite all of Joss Whedon’s best efforts I really liked her in Age of Ultron and then my love for her just decreased with each subsequent appearance. like Natasha she was increasingly a different character each time; by Infinity War she didn’t have her accent anymore as if Elizabeth Olsen realized nobody else on set would remember or care about Wanda’s previous portrayals. on god I liked her so much that I was even down to root for her and Vision but then the majority of it happened offscreen and lost me forever. 

Pietro Maximoff - mmm watcha saaaaaay

Hope Van Dyne - cooler than Ant-Man but not by much. should have been a lesbian and kissed Pepper Potts in the moonlight. 

Carol Danvers - fuck dude idk, I’ve never seen a movie she’s in lmao

Ant-Man - the recurring joke with this bitch seems to be “haha can you believe he exists? that’s dumb!” and it is. it is dumb. why did we need him? it could have all payed off with him crawling up Thanos’ asshole and exploding but we didn’t even get that. bullshit. 

Vision - man, fuck, I tried to put him higher on the list than Peter Quill and I couldn’t make myself do it. that’s how goddamn boring Vision was. and you know what? fuck it, we’re putting him lower than Pietro, too. and even Ant-Man! we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here and he deserves it because I can’t think of one thing this dude did that I enjoyed other than being bad at cooking when he was trying to impress a girl.

Doctor Strange - I’m not going to make a Benedict Cumberbatch joke because that’s low hanging fruit but all I know is that this is the dude who’s mean to Tony in a horny way for five minutes of Infinity War. I never saw his movie, heard it was racist tho. and they didn’t even learn their lesson before they made Iron Fist! smh bombastic colonialism.

Clint Barton - last place because in the absence of a personality or interesting character arc I’m forced to judge him on the fact that Jeremy Renner radiates bad vibes and that in Endgame he gets a makeover that makes him look like he’d call me slurs for telling him to stop hitting on 16 year old girls at a gas station.

#no i am not open to constructive criticism