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cooki3face · 4 months

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Your present reality vs far future

message: I'm doing a reading from bed today guys, believe it or not, I have not done any readings from bed in quite a long time lol! I have a designated table for these types of things in the house but I'm feeling like taking it easy today and relaxing. Sometimes doing readings or creating tarot content feels like a chore although I really love it. Many things in my life have felt like a chore lately between work and school and managing my time properly and whatever else I have selected to put on my plate. This is the reason why I'm pulling this reading out of my draft list, I have many readings stored away in my drafts about various things. I felt called to do this one because I felt that maybe the collective wanted some insight as to what the life they're working towards or manifesting may look like. I've been feeling called to do these types of 3D-themed readings for a while. I also considered releasing a financial forecast reading as well. I'm asking spirit and setting my intention for this reading to motivate and help awaken the collective to the reality their higher selves live and what needs to be done or put in in order to receive the manifestation of the dream life you deserve collective. I know many people whose past life karma, the beliefs they grew up with, their childhood trauma, and the experiences that they were given within this lifetime to put them on their highest path of ascension if they made the right choices or saw things the best way has made them feel very discouraged and stuck and has ruined the idea that a good life is available for them to be a recipient of. It is not your fault that the divine plan that was set in place for you to learn certain lessons was difficult or was dreadful or took such a large toll on you but it is possible to heal from and be relieved from such a way of things. I swear. And today I will try and deliver to you the truth of a life you could live away from the hurt, the karmic cycles, and the trauma or hard times. Anyways, many months ago when I created the draft for this reading I chose Miss Frida Kahlo and her wonderful art for my banner and my pick-a-pile covers. I hope that you enjoy her as much as I enjoy her and her legacy and art.

your past: I pulled the three of swords for your past pile one, there could've been a lot of loss and a lot of heartbreak cut out for you. Loss may have served as a large aspect of some of your greatest lessons. The loss of a parent to death or to outside third party obligations, the loss of a lover or many, the loss of approval or much-needed validation from outside sources, loss shaped the way things were laid out for you and was responsible for some of the behaviors or needs that you had for a long time. There's an essence of learning that is so incredibly significant to you here, you could've begun your life in a way where knowledge or the need for knowledge was heavily significant in your life, but I also see this idea of the primary purpose for your life events and circumstances was for you to learn important lessons early in order for you to become something great in your future. You could've had to grow up really fast, had to experience or see things or undergo drastic changes and hardships that people usually don't at such a large volume but you were made to survive and flourish. You're someone with a great purpose, you may be a healer or a light worker or someone who has a heavily significant gift even if your gifts aren't in the world of helping people along their ascension or things that fall into the metaphysical.

your present reality: you've reached a point within your journey where you've outgrown and broken all of your karmic cycles or successfully and fully completed the portion of your life that was heavily designed by the divine to teach you some of your most intense and powerful lessons, congratulations pile one. I almost said pile two, there may be messages for you in pile two. Last night in a reading I had said that there is a portion of someone's life in which their past life karma and the events in their lives and their experiences are heavily determined by what needs to be a part of their reality in order to reach the level of ascension needed to step into their higher self and fulfill their purpose. Sort of in the way in which we spend a large majority of our lives as minors in someone's care before we're considered legal adults and can go off on our own and create our own lives and stories. and This was exactly that. You've graduated or aged out of a space in time within your journey where your hardest lessons were that were meant to shape you.

You are at the beginning of your life, the world is yours. Some of you have just turned 19 years old or are newly adults. The number 19 is associated with perseverance, inner power, and finding your own path or finding your own spiritual path. The number 1 symbolizes the beginning and the number 9 symbolizes completion or near completion or the point in which someone is about to reach their highest level of completion or wholeness. You also have the ten of cups here indicating bliss, harmony, and alignment. This point is the calm after the storm that you have experienced, the ages of 6 and 7 may be incredibly significant for you as well and could've been the point in which certain karmic cycles or karmic energies began to flare up for you within your life.

You're at this extremely significant point in time, I see spirit or your spirit guides and ancestors opening up this huge door for you or you getting ready to walk through this gigantic door you've been waiting to enter for a long time. I see little you or someone being a teenager waiting in front of a door or sitting in front of a door. Someone had an ancestor or a spirit guide that always wanted to let you in early or always wanted to let you see what was on the other side even if you weren't ready yet someone's ancestor or spirit guide is very sorry that you had a hard time or had to go through so much, you have buckets of compassion in other realms for you pile one. Behind the door there is all of these opportunities, all of this abundance and all of these beautiful things for you to have and experience as compensation.

your future: in your future there's a lot of you using everything you've learned or everything you've experienced to keep you grounded or consistently moving in the right direction. Not out of a place of fear but out of a place of wisdom and knowing. You may also be someone who struggles with commitments in your life either emotionally or in the physical/material aspect of things and this is not going to be something that continues to hold you back I just heard "You'll find your way." or something along the lines of being able to put your money where your mouth is or stand fully in the things you want to accomplish will come to you eventually and you won't have to worry about this any longer if you worry about your productivity or your performance or your ability to take action and make things happen. You'll soon be seen as someone very disciplined who has things figured out and mapped out and you'll not only be seen that way but you'll be that person actually.

Some of you are young and may feel disappointed in yourself or having a hard time accepting that you are in fact young and there are skills or things you're not immediately good at or have to learn to do with time as you come into yourself due to the fact that you may be someone who is very grown up, wise or mature in a lot of areas. You are not behind. I just heard "allow yourself to grow." someone's ancestor or spirit guide thinks it's funny that you might get upset at the fact that you have a hard time. They see you as a baby in a suit lol. You may be unable to see just how much you have within your life or feel you crave more or don't get all the recognition you rightfully deserve within this lifetime to some extent here. You may fall into a practitioner role or be someone who teaches or creates a name for themselves through a leadership role or through something like divination. You'll be someone mysterious and sensual or someone who attracts the attention or curiosity of many. I just heard "friend of the world" or "mother" You may hold mystique and/or have a very high status patriarchal or matriarchal vibe. You may be well known in the world of the arts or there will be a worldly presence about you that you'll hold for the remainder of your life.

I pulled "The Daughter of Skulls" in the deck I'm using today and in essence, she represents infinite potential of life on earth. "steady and secure materialization. infinite potential. birth. completion. abundance. strength. tangible. earthly happiness. pure creation. opportunity. generous. beautiful. sensual. benevolent. arousal. adoration. truth. security. commitment. freedom. sensations. perfection. divine inspiration and holy wisdom. here is the message behind this card in the Tarot book for this deck:

In your future, what you put out in the world you will receive in return in full capacity and you will give to the world a lot and the most valuable and most cherished things. Anything that comes from you or derives from you will be held at high regard and will be something of value. Your ideas, your guidance, your charity and even your children if you bless this world with any.

how you'll get there: value yourself and value your energy and your time and your essence. You are a person of high rare value and you must behave as such. Your first line of defense is always going to be you in the physical realm and world of the living and your second line of defense is your spirit guides and ancestors. You cannot receive the things you want in your life or get to where you want to be or be who your higher self is if you do not protect yourself in every sense there is. respect your legacy in the making. make choices according to where you want to go, be the energy you want to receive. your success in your life will come from you using your wisdom and using the respect you have for yourself and the love you have for yourself as your biggest weapon. People often see us the way we see ourselves when we have a very strong sense of identity whether or not it's a honest one or not. People will come to you because you're magnetic. Success will follow you because you're magnetic and it's safe in your hands. continue to nurture yourself and your energy and your persona. I don't even mean in the sense of who you present to others as an alter ego but your higher self or who you feel called to be. Love yourself, love your life, value your essence. easier said than done for most but if this message is yours you know exactly what means, looks like, feels like, sounds like, tastes like. Love is your sixth sense.

ii.

your past: your childhood or past could've had a lot of stagnancy and suppression within it. There's something authoritative here or something that restricted someone's self-expression or was very judgmental and inflexible. this could be anything a parent or a legal guardian, a school system or a culture or a religion. Someone was a brilliant child or was someone with a lot of broad potential for many things who didn't get the freedom or ability to blossom or grow the way they rightfully deserved, there's a suppressed part of someone here that has been pushed into the shadow or has been lying dormant. you may have a difficult time making decisions in your life or have low self-esteem or an inability to think for yourself, express yourself or have a wicked case of imposture syndrome that tells you that you're not worth much or that you aren't capable of much but you're very powerful and very divine.

incredibly smart, have a psychic ability or an oppressed spiritual gift. someone told you that you were crazy or weird or led you in a direction or raised you up in a way that very heavily wounded your sense of self. this could also be a case of environmental oppression of the spirit, somewhere you once resided or the place you do reside and/or haven't moved away from didn't have the resources to accommodate you or help you. you may have a mental illness or a disability or have very heavy trauma that may impair you. There was some complication with the message that came through at first, I couldn't grasp it right away and I think this is reflective of the energy you may be in because something has cut you off or pushed you to lose something that was a naturally given birthright for you that you inherited from your ancestors or one in particular like a father or a grandfather or someone on your paternal line or a masculine energy. potentially one who passed away before your time. I pulled "The Lord of Knives" in the deck I'm using here's the message and essence behind the card:

someone in your life could've known that you had a gift and took advantage of the fact that you were a child and may have had their own ideas about which direction they felt you were destined to go or put a lot of energy into suppressing your gifts or trying to break your spirit for fear you'd be entirely too difficult to control or be disobedient or out of jealousy for what you'd get in life or what you'd reap if you were allowed to grow into your power or be yourself. I see this could've been multiple people who chipped it to see you fall or have a hard time it may have started in the home or came from the home as well but it also was something you dealt with outside of your life, in your social life. Someone was afraid of fullness of conserved power in you.

your present reality: You're about to grow into yourself or at the brink of your ascension, you couldn't spent a lot of time in a stagnant place with many karmic behaviors and cycles, you could've fallen into addictions or fallen into some hard places or ran into a lot of karmic people and situations that were meant to shake you awake or act as major catalyst to put you on the right path. I hear someone saying that these were the cards you were dealt in terms of your past (both as a child and in your early life and in your recent past or in these past couple of years) and there isn't much you can do about that but you can use the cards you were dealt with to alchemize your self and learn the right lessons and find what you may have lost a long time ago. there's something significant here about your crown chakra being closed or you having a hard time learning lessons or taking the positives out of a negative situation or circumstance.

There was a recent catalyst that you've just experienced or are standing in at the moment that has been the last one for this block of time or this cycle of misfortune or hardship. You need peace and quiet or you need most at this time the ability to break away and turn inwards and soul search. It's about time some inner clarity on certain matters including the directory of your life and what you need to do come to you. you're about to rethink an idea or any clouded judgment you've had or carried with you about your sense of direction or where you needed to go, do, or be is about to clear. At this point in your life you're potentially in a place where you're juggling the persona you've been given or the one you've grown into to assimilate or that was in alignment with your choices and the life that goes with it and the person you really are and the life you are destined to have that's in alignment with who you truly are. this collective is always a really heavy one within my readings, you're always with me, I've practically grown up with you and now is your moment. I've always loved you and seen your light. it is now time you see it to and step into your power pile two.

You're in the process of regeneration and healing as well after a time long spent carrying with you wounds and skeletons. You're finally on the rise and about to reach your freedom. You're so close.

your future: I see you feeling and being victorious. a force to be reckoned with. people might actually believe you to be the golden standard of something or may idealize you or feel that you're glorious. You may be someone who is heavily put on a pedestal by their romantic partners and romanticized even to a point where you don't understand and they may become increasingly disappointed or have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you're a real person with real flaws are can't possibly be everything they've chosen to try and make you out to be but I see this no longer being the case with anyone in the future in the sense that you will be everything and more. You may be heavily attracted to someone in your present life or be really infatuated or obsessed with someone in your present life who is a fantasy-like individual or has a really beaming sort of divinity that you wish that you could embody on your own and you will. You are divine and you will be divine and that will be the end of it. You'll be someone in the future who has a knack for improving themselves or finds great pleasure in self-improvement and pushing limits, even to the point of perfectionism it may work against you at some point but what it really does for you is set the standard for which you think you're worth and what you think you're capable of doing or accomplishing.

You may find that you'll be someone in the future and for a good amount of it who is a lone wolf or is seeking out a divine counterpart or someone to compliment you and bring to you your ten of cups or your divinely ordained commitment here or some sort of completion. I see you holding off for it and devoting a large amount of your energy towards your self-care and your physical world and career as you look for deep and divine commitment in your love life and partnerships. You may be someone who commands a lot of attention or that people desire to follow around or invest in deep commitments with but will find yourself not necessarily lonely but seeking something profound, at this stage in your ascension you'll have the ability to detect intention and what is in store for you and another individual intuitively. You could very well be a masculine energy or just someone who is very action-oriented and moves through their lives with a sense of fluidity. I pulled the "Prince of Scepters" here is the essence and description attached to this card from the book:

how you'll get there:

focus on taking the time you need for yourself to thoroughly recover from the things you've experienced and allow yourself the time to make the changes you need to make to come into your power and refine who you need to be. Don't rush into commitments out of loneliness or force yourself to be around people just to keep company or just to make it seem like you are loved by others, it's okay to be alone or to use the time you have being alone for a productive cause that pertains to you, you're not selfish or wrong for it. Continue to grow and pour your energy into yourself. Love yourself enough to meet your own needs, love yourself enough to do things for the sake of your own nourishment, and stay far away from things that can destroy you out of craving or desire. take time to think about what you truly want and come into alignment with that by trusting that it exists and that it's available for you to have if that's truly what you want. the world is yours after such a long time of being denied it and it's time you align yourself with receiving it.

iii.

your past: This may not be for the entire collective but it's likely there could've been some of you that could've experienced some violence or abusive environment even may have had someone in your life that was emotionally volatile that you could never truly please or had to walk on eggshells around. could've also been heavily oversexualized in your life as a child and during your teen years or general early life. there's a possibility someone could've attracted a lot of people who wanted to take from them or exploit them and did. Some of y'all could have experienced a lot of heartbreak from a young age or a lot of your needs not being met or your first heart break or massive bouts of betrayal from significant individuals like family members or like your parents and that could've heavily affected the way you behaved in front of others or how you navigated in the world. It's possible some of you could've developed a personality disorder or may struggle with mental health. You may have developed a tendency to lie to get approval or to get your way or obtain opportunities you don't believe you could receive if you were just yourself. lie or put on facades.

You may also have liked to party within the past couple of years or went through a lot to try and keep from being alone with yourself or being isolated or feeling alone. If it wasn't partying it was attempting to keep as many friends as possible or do what was necessary to keep as much attention as you felt you needed.

your present reality: you could be potentially dealing with a lot of energetic pressure in the heart space or undergoing a heart chakra awakening. You could be in and out of depression at this time potentially as well. Things from your past or past suppressed feelings or memories are resurfacing. if it's coming up, it needs to come out. You're learning what it means to love yourself and operate from a place of love instead of fear. You could be experiencing heavy emotions attached to codependency There could've been a loss or multiple. Of friends or lovers or both, people you may have heavily relied on past even a healthy point. relied on for various things, to regulate your emotions, validate your existence, or prove to you that you are loved or could be loved. There's also a potential you may have several uncut soul ties from past lovers and failed relationships, talking stages, or sexual rendezvous. You may have attempted to use your knowledge to cut them or severe them but it was somewhat unsuccessful.

You've been isolating yourself lately or having a lot of trouble being perceived or have developed a deep/deeper fear of being seen. You may have spent a lot of time off of social media or have been minimizing the amount you're willing to share about how you feel with "friends" and family. This could potentially serve as a way of being able to control your environment and what comes in and out of space so as not to trigger you. someone might be an air sign as well, you may not have the ability you may usually have to let things flow right through you or control the way you react to certain stimuli. You're bothered, triggered, or heavily emotionally sensitive or volatile at this time. You're undergoing a dark night of the soul and are in the process of waning in order to return in better shape soon. You're the last portion of the collection to undergo a full transformation. Some of you apart of this pile/collective are individuals who have younger spirits or haven't been on this early plane for very long or haven't lived multiple lives here.

You could have very youthful or childish energy or tendencies in your most authentic and natural state, you may look older or give the impression to others that you are older than you really are. You're in the process of healing the part of you that's karmic behavior may stem from a stunted place in your growth. learning how to properly navigate in the world and in your relationships, learning how to communicate properly, some of you may also be seeking out therapy or psych evaluations or may be placed in alignment to receive those types of mental health services.

your future: You'll be completely committed to the cause that is loving yourself and being the energy that you want to receive or manifest in all forms. Self love or insecurity may be something you have struggled with for the vast majority of your life so much so that a few of you have learned to heavily overcompensate or have developed an extremely inflated sense of self-importance that comes from a seemingly narcissistic place due to your past. learning how to do things authentically and from an honest place and not take short cuts or use your trauma as a way to cushion the fact that you may have some unhealed aspects of your shadow is something that you'll be learning to do and be determined to do.

You'll be in the process of challenging beliefs you've learned from your past or carried with you a long way and be in the state of learning and growing for a large amount of time for the earliest portion of your enlightened life. Any growing up you failed to do or limited mindset you've carried is what you'll primarily be working on. You may be disconnected spiritually or disconnected from spirit or God as well and your faith and purpose is something that you'll be working on or trying to find guidance through. You'll be entering your most in-depth spiritual journey or spiritual rebirth. You may have spiritual knowledge already but it comes from a limited place or the intention for learning isn't in the right place.

by the time you've completed this inner work and have come into alignment with your purpose and what you're meant to do within this lifetime you'll find yourself feeling relieved and having more room within yourself to build your life in such a way that will bring true fulfillment for you. You may have a tendency to heavily fixate on the physical or material world or the way your reality "appears" in the 3D and neglect your spirit, emotional/mental well-being, or internal affairs which has played a huge factor in your stunted growth and ability to operate and your future will begin itself with you having no choice but to shift your focus and find alignment internally before you can make anything come into rightful alignment in your physical life.

how you'll get there: you'll receive your highest reality by nurturing and healing the parts of you that need the most care and attention, which happens to be everything within and in spirit. There can be no true abundance or alignment if we don't bring into true order our internal aspects first. Be for your inner child who you would have wanted for them growing up. You are your first line of defense for your internal and vulnerable self and behind that is your spirit guides and ancestors. Your journey to your highest reality and your deepest place of alignment is going to be a lot of soul searching and a lot of inner work and growth and the effort that you put in to get yourself there. I pulled "The Daughter of Scepters" in the tarot deck I've chosen for this reading and here's the essence and meaning of the card for you to read:

I also channeled the song "Tell Him" by Lauryn Hill, and "Him" as referred to in the song would be self (you).

Your greatest strength will be utilizing the natural free-spirited energy of your spirit, use it to allow yourself to embrace change and do the inner work to break karmic cycles and emerge out of stagnancy when it finds you.

This reading took me so long guyss 😭😭 I broke it into two parts, I completed the first two piles that took me a couple of hours last night yesterday and then this morning I woke up with the intention to finish. I hope you found what you were looking for in this reading and it touched you!! I was unsure about the directory spirit took it in because I had envisioned it to be more of an entertainment type reading and be more surface level in its content but it turned out completely different. Bless you. 🤎

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leonardcohenofficial · 8 months

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vinyl + turntable basic info / general tips

while i am by no means a real audiophile or vinyl expert here are some tips that have worked for me over my almost two decades of collecting!

turntables + speakers

do not buy suitcase players. i cannot overstate this enough. do not buy suitcase players. the all-in-one players are generally cheaper, but there isn't enough support from the platter because they are smaller than 12 inch LPs. this can lead to shitty sound quality, the needle can fall out of the groove, and you can actually break your records. save up and pay a little more and get a proper turntable

there is a lot of debate about belt vs. direct drive turntables (belt drive turntables use a belt to spin the turntable while direct drive turntables have the motor directly under the platter) and which is better. very generally speaking if you want better sound quality, belt drive is the way to go; if you want a player that's a little easier to use that's also a little more durable, direct drive is a better option (most DJ turntables are also direct drive, as a side note)

i currently have three turntables and they are all audio-technica, which is a well respected brand (especially for beginners)—i have an AT-LP60X ($149) which is a belt driven player, as well as two AT-LP120XUSB ($349 each) which i use for practicing DJing/selecting. i also have a stanton M.203 mixer (insane to me that it's listed for $350 on amazon, i paid eighty bucks for mine on ebay), audio-technica ATH-M20x headphones (they were a gift but are listed for $49 on amazon) and a set of edifier R1280DB bluetooth speakers ($149). the speakers are hooked up directly into my mixer, but because both the speakers and the AT-LP60X are bluetooth, i can also play records on that turntable too

change your needle! general rule of thumb is to replace your needle every thousand hours of listening; for the average person if you change it once a year you should be good, i'm on the cautious side and change them every six months

i really like my setup; it's on the cheaper side when it comes to "grownup" gear but true audiophiles would probably scoff at my basics. regardless of what you end up getting, a decent turntable that doesn't have the speakers built in that fits within your budget and a good set of speaker or headphones is all you need

buying records

any time that you can, i recommend buying vinyl directly from the artist! whether it's through bandcamp their website or at a show i think it's better to buy direct when you can (and often times it's cheaper than buying through a third party)

when you can, buy local. not only is it good to support independently owned shops, developing a relationship with local music people is great and if they're good they'll start to know you/your tastes. it also allows you to get good at crate digging, because you never know what you're going to find in a dollar section

utilize listening stations if the store has them! people can be pretty fast and loose with grading used records, so it's better to listen to it and see if the audio quality corresponds with the price (i don't always buy mint/nearly mint records and can tolerate a fair amount of noise but not if i'm being ripped off lmfao)

look things up on discogs to see if you're getting ripped off. not only is discogs great for keeping track of your collection (also you can friend me here!), the online marketplace is great for checking average sale prices for a given release. also handy for seeing how rare a release is!

buying records on discogs can be a crapshoot, ebay even more so. read seller's reviews; if there's feedback that they generally grade conservatively, that's a good thing

i have such a large collection that maintaining a record of what i have is really necessary; discogs is really fantastic for this. you can even scan barcodes on specific releases to find them through the discogs app! it's super handy for me as sometimes i forget that i have certain albums already and end up buying multiple copies and having to get rid of them (i need to get better at cataloguing immediately after i get new stuff, i currently have about forty five records i still need to add lmfao)

storing + maintaining records

keep your records clean! get a good cleaning kit and have microfiber cloths on hand to keep your vinyl as dust free as possible. also use those storage sleeves, it makes a different in keeping your records cleaner longer

a general rule of vinyl storage that i learned from the owner of the shop that i've been going to since i was nine years old is to store them in less than 70 degrees F environments with less than 70% humidity (funnily enough this is apparently the same rule for cigars)

i recommend those ikea square storage bookcases, as they're generally study, aren't too expensive, are pretty easy to put together, and hold a lot of records (do not store your records in milk crates long term)

actually listen to your records! there are very few releases i keep sealed for the sake of keeping them in mint condition. vinyl can be a very expensive habit (800+ records later i am living proof lol) but it's no fun to keep them sitting around. have fun collecting and play your music!

#vinyl #music #records #sorry this took a minute ben lmfao #also folks are welcome to share / please feel free to friend me on discogs!

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sluttywoozi · 10 months

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After LIKE Part One | smg x f!reader

Posted first on my Patreon

Rating: M | WC: ~4.8k

Mingi has been your plug for nearly three years now. You've always liked him well enough, but something has changed between you. What happens after like?

Notes/Warnings: plug!mingi, weed use, food mention, kissing, stress/anxiety

Grad school is hard. Really hard, you’ve discovered.

You knew it would be, of course, but it’s difficult in ways you didn’t expect. First of all, you have no money. You can afford groceries and rent, thankfully, but luxuries are scarce. You’re also stressed nearly all the time, with your thesis looming over your shoulder and begging you to work on it even when you’re in class. You have friends, but you don’t really get to see them between your work and their own, so you return to an empty apartment most of the time.

You do have a lot of bright spots in your life too, though. You get to study what you love, you have friends to miss, and you can still afford little things that make your life better.

Your phone dings, a tone that means one of those bright spots is especially vibrant today. You just got off work at the coffee shop, a double from 6 AM to 4 PM, and your hair still smells of roasted espresso beans and turmoil but you’re beaming as you throw your uniform off and pull on clean clothes.

Mingi is free for you to come pick up, and after you complained of having trouble last time, he promised to roll your joints for you. He’s an expert and they always burn perfectly, and it also makes you feel a little special. Mingi doesn’t roll for just anybody, and considering that you’re quite literally terrible at it, you really appreciate that you’re somebody to him.

You and Mingi met in junior year of college. You were majoring in Psychology and Mingi was getting his degree in Hospitality, and somehow, you managed to have a shared class nearly every semester. He was cute but your eye was already focused on grad school and you didn’t think you had time for distractions. Then he approached you at San and Yeosang’s party nearly begging for help on the next exam and you decided maybe you did.

You also happened to spot the joints in his t-shirt pocket. You’d been looking for a plug for a while but hadn’t found anyone reliable, and having Mingi in your class would make it incredibly easy to arrange pickups.

Thus, you became Mingi’s tutor and Mingi became your plug, and you kind of sort of became each other’s friends too.

Three years later, you’ve both graduated and moved on; you to a Master’s program in Applied Psychology and Mingi to cooking school. He still deals on the side, but only to a select few as his reputation in the kitchen steadily grows.

The commute to his flat is easy, just a couple stops on the bus and a short walk to his building, and he buzzes you up as soon as you press the intercom button, meaning you only have the elevator ride to the third floor to prepare yourself to interact with him. It’s not that Mingi is intimidating or annoying or hard to deal with, it’s just that he’s so fucking hot you have trouble concentrating sometimes.

He’s always been tall but he’s gotten bigger and bigger over the years, and now the way he fills out his shirts and sweatpants makes you breathless. And, ugh, his smile. It’s so sincere, and kind, and sometimes playful, and sometimes knowing.

He doesn’t know everything though.

He doesn’t know you bought from Wooyoung two weeks ago, and that he smoked you out first.

Mingi always offers; he even offers to pick you up so you can try it before you buy it, but you hardly ever take him up on it because you just can’t get close to him now like you used to. In college, he didn’t affect you this way. He was just the cute guy you bought weed from that could make you laugh, and now, he’s the incredibly hot and caring guy you buy weed from that frequently makes you dizzy.

You needed a break from that, and Wooyoung was available. You can never let Mingi know though, he’ll get too jealous and you won’t be able to handle it.

You arrive at his flat before you’re ready, and you’ve barely knocked when the door unlocks and Mingi and his crooked smile appear in the frame.

“Hey, come in,” he grabs your hand and tugs you inside, your legs working overtime to keep up with his large steps. He leads you to his living room, sitting down on the couch and patting the cushion next to him. You settle a safe distance away, far enough that your thighs don’t touch, and bite back a smile at the way he eyes the space between you.

He leans over to the table next to the couch and pulls a tin from the drawer before opening it and passing it to you. It’s filled with neatly rolled joints, at least ten, and your eyes nearly bulge out of your head when he tells you the price.

“That’s way too little, isn’t it?” You respond incredulously, looking between him and the tin.

Mingi just shrugs, plopping a small jar of ground weed on the couch cushion between you and replying, “Includes that, too.”

“Mingi,” you try to hold back the whine that wants to sneak out in your voice, only pouting further when he holds up his hands and says, “It’s competitive pricing.”

Competitive pricing. So he does know.

Wooyoung must have bragged to Mingi about it, knowing his meddlesome nature and proclivity for playing with his friends. He’s harmless at his core but likes to cause trouble sometimes, and this is one of those times.

“I can’t believe you let him smoke you out,” Mingi crosses his arms and leans back against the arm of the couch to turn the full force of his guilt trip on you.

You groan pitifully, folding over to bury your face in your knees so you don’t have to look at him any longer. You don’t really have an excuse to give him, one that doesn’t give you away at least, and you definitely can’t explain yourself.

“Ahhh, it’s okay, babe, I’m just teasing,” Mingi rubs your shoulder with a big hand, pulling you up out of your shame bend. He seems sincere, but his eyes still look a bit dim and you vow to yourself that you won’t pick up from anyone else again.

You squeeze the hand on your shoulder before grabbing your phone and sending him the money he’d requested, plus a little extra. It went straight into his account so he can’t do anything about it, and you know he won’t send you the money back because cooking school is so expensive. He glowers halfheartedly at you when he sees the notification but as you thought, does nothing beyond putting his phone away and scrunching his mouth at you again.

Grinning triumphantly, you close the tin and tuck it in your purse along with the little jar he’d prepared for you. It seems you win this round, and you can only hope you win the next too.

Keyboard clicks and taps of a slipper on hardwood fill your room, the silhouette of your hunched, exhausted form illuminated by the bright light of your computer. You have a meeting with your thesis advisor tomorrow, and there’s still so many changes to make. You procrastinated in making use of her comments, leaving your editing to the last minute as usual, and now you’re paying the price.

You’ve been working for hours now, proofreading and crying and proofreading again, and you’re starting to feel like you’re losing your mind. You need a break, desperately, and your phone pings just as you push away from your desk to go lay on your bed.

You could cry (again).

Texting him back with what you think is an appropriate amount of waterfall-eyed emojis, you hop in the shower and go through your routine quickly.

When you emerge from the bathroom, you feel like a person again, and you’ve just slipped into your clothes when Mingi texts you back.

He’s… outside? You rush to your street-facing window and look down, finding Mingi leaning against his car with a beanie covering his hair and a smile big enough to power the stars covering his face. He spots you easily, waving and cupping his hands around his mouth. You fumble with the lock of the window, pushing it up and poking your head out to hear him yell, “Come on, the food’s getting cold.”

Your stomach grumbles, reminding you that you haven’t eaten since breakfast and it’s now, you swear as you check your watch, eight pm. You’re starving and your brain is still making dial up noises and your back hurts from your terrible posture but none of that matters, because Mingi is outside, waiting for you. With food.

You fly down the stairs, bursting out of your building with tears in your eyes and your arms already open for a hug. He pulls you into the cradle of his chest immediately, smoothing a hand over your hair and rubbing your sore back. “Everything okay?” He asks, pulling away to look down at you, his eyebrows furrowing when he spots the bags under your eyes and your stress-bitten lips.

“Let’s get you over to mine, yeah?”

After opening the door with a flourish, he ushers you in with gentle hands and watches as you click in your seatbelt. He jogs around the front of the car, jumping in and checking his surroundings before pulling away from the curb and starting on the way to his place.

“Here, eat something.”

A searing hot bag gets dropped in your lap, smelling of fresh fries and salvation, and you dig in without a second thought. You catch Mingi’s cheeks curving in a smile out of the corner of your eye and fight back a grin of your own, always charmed by the way your happiness becomes his.

Mingi rolls into his parking space with ease, shutting the car off and turning to you to say, “I think you’ll love this new one, I tried it with Woo last night and it knocked us off our asses.”

That sounds like exactly what you need, and you follow closely at his heels as you traverse the hall to his flat. His body blocks your entire view but you stop at the right door anyway, so used to this walk that you could do it with your eyes closed. He unlocks the door quickly and beckons you in first, a wall of scent hitting you and making your eyes tear up.

They’re not watering out of disgust (as they have in the past in other men’s apartments), they’re watering because you can smell spam fried rice, and you know he’s made it for you.

Mingi speeds past you to the kitchen and you go straight to the living room. He said in the beginning to make yourself at home, so you do. You settle into your preferred corner of the couch, noting with something like dragonflies in your belly that he’s already prepared a coaster, blanket, and the remote for you.

You wonder if all his other clients get this kind of luxury treatment, but find yourself not wanting to think of him having other clients at all. You know he does, obviously, but prefer to think he likes you the best and never need to know otherwise.

When you turn the TV on, it’s set to soccer. You’d love to change the channel but recognize the team as Mingi’s favorite, so you leave it on and bump the volume up. Just as they score a goal, he returns from the kitchen carrying two steaming bowls, a pair of water bottles, and utensils. You bounce in your seat as he carefully sets them down on the coffee table in front of you before leaning over to retrieve his bong and lighter from the end table. He’s already packed it, the angel, and he passes it straight to you.

Mingi raises his hand to light it for you as you bring it up to your mouth, and you look up through your lashes at him while you inhale. He holds your gaze, biting his lip and watching you take the hit with darkened eyes.

The taste is sharp in your mouth, the smoke sitting heavily in your lungs for a second or two before you blow it out with pursed lips. You angle away from Mingi, too polite to blow it straight in his face though you have a sneaking suspicion he just might enjoy it. You can still feel his eyes on you, but you need a second to yourself to let the effects roll in.

When you turn back to Mingi, it’s like everything around you has slowed down. He’s grinning proudly, and you’re not sure whether he’s proud of you or his own weed, but you don’t really care either way. You’re just happy that he’s happy, and you hand him the bong with a smile of your own.

Mingi takes his hit quickly and skillfully, and you let your focus fall to the hot rice waiting for you on the coffee table.

It’s delicious, as his food always is, and the comforting flavor shrinks your stress with each bite. Just the one hit was enough to melt you into the couch and with your free hand, you reach for the blanket. It’s hard to spread it over your legs while holding the bowl, and Mingi sets the bong down to help you.

His hands brush your thighs in the process, and you thank yourself for putting yoga pants on after your shower. You already feel floaty, you don’t need the feeling of Mingi’s hands on your skin adding to that.

You hum, taking another bite and snuggling into your blanket before looking up at Mingi. His eyes are already on you and you can see the tips of his ears turn red as a sheepish smile rises to his face.

Catching him looking at you is one of your favorite things in the world, and it happens oh so often. You’re not sure why you’re so fascinating to him, but you won’t complain about it, especially when it means you often get all of his attention.

It’s something you noticed in uni when you started hanging out with him after picking up at parties instead of just leaving like you used to. He would usually be surrounded by a mix of people when you arrived, and as soon as he set eyes on you, it’s like they’d all disappear.

Mingi grabs the bong and offers it to you, exchanging it for your rice. He sets it on the table next to his and lights the bowl for you, tucking into his own rice as soon as it’s burning enough. You take in more this time, feeling the smoke sear down your throat and into your lungs and letting it stay there before pushing it out away from Mingi again.

You breathe for a while, swallowing down a cough with a mouthful of water before turning to Mingi and saying, “Thank you for this, and for the rice. It’s fucking delicious.”

“Course, babe,” he nudges you affectionately with his elbow. “I know it’s your favorite. How’s your thesis going?”

You grimace thinking of the work waiting for you at home, and Mingi rushes to assure you, “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”

“No, it’s okay. I just have a meeting with my advisor tomorrow and I left accommodating her comments until the last minute, like a dummy. So I’ve been working on it all day and I’m like, three quarters of the way done but before you texted, I was seriously on my way to losing it.”

Your head falls to rest on Mingi’s bicep, the muscle surprisingly cushy and his smooth skin warm under your cheek.

“You’re not a dummy, you’re a genius. You just procrastinate because you know in your heart that you work best under pressure.”

“No, I just didn’t want to do it,” you reply with a shrug, tilting your head to look up at Mingi.

“Shhhh, my way sounds better,” he places his index finger against your lips and you take a quick breath in, freezing in place. Mingi freezes too, his half-lidded eyes locked on your mouth for one, two, three heartbeats before he pulls away with a forced laugh. He pulls off his beanie to run his fingers through his hair, his attention briefly pulled to the game as his team scores again.

He cheers and bounces in place, flashing a grin at you that turns small, secretive, when he sees the look on your face. You’re still reeling from the moment you just shared, and it’s frustrating that he seems to have completely recovered. Maybe touching you just isn’t that big of a deal to him, maybe he doesn’t feel the distance like you do, or maybe you’re much further gone than he is.

You can believe the first two, but the last one would hurt.

Mingi picks you up this time, takes you for a drive. You think he can tell that you’re not doing the best mentally, because he grins at you softly and squeezes your hand when you get in the car.

You don’t know where you’re going and you don’t care, all you care about is that you’re not staring at your thesis in the quiet dark of your room anymore. It was starting to mock you, the work left undone, and you desperately needed a break.

Mingi texted at the perfect time, just when you were about to officially call it quits. He could somehow tell that you were at the end of your rope, and told you he’d be there in fifteen with something to relax you and a new playlist for you to enjoy.

He arrived in twelve, and your heart fluttered the whole way down the stairs.

Now you’re on the way to a place you don’t know, the street names unfamiliar and the distance growing between your flat and his sedan. You don’t mind it, having needed a getaway for a while, and you settle into your seat with a sigh as the car travels down unrecognizable roads.

An undetermined amount of time passes, your mind going into a soft, relaxed state the further you go. Eventually, you pull up to a deserted park and Mingi turns off the car, looking at you with warm eyes and a charming smile.

“So, I’ve got some blunts for us, and I also went to the convenience store and grabbed your favorite snacks.”

“You sweet, sweet boy,” you breathe, dangerously close to leaning over and kissing him right on those plump lips.

He grins shyly, passing you a blunt and holding up the lighter as you bring it to your mouth. You take in a deep hit, holding the smoke in your lungs for as long as you can take before exhaling away from his face. You feel the haze set in immediately, your combined stress and exhaustion making you that much more susceptible to the high coming over you.

Mingi’s eyes stay on you, feeling like physical weights holding you down as you stifle the rising coughs. You pass him the blunt, watching as he takes in a pull of smoke and blows it out into the vacant backseat.

He holds it out for you, letting go just before you take hold and nearly dropping it in the place of no return that is the gap between the seat and the console. He gasps, fumbling to catch it before it can burn the leather or fall in between the seats.

He grins sheepishly before grabbing your hand in his and wrapping your fingers around the blunt to be sure you’ve got it. You bring it to your lips and take in a breath, feeling the smoke settle in all the crevices of your lungs before you exhale it toward the roof of the car.

Mingi’s eyes are still on you but they feel different, heavier, and when you turn to him to pass the blunt back, his gaze is on your lips.

The hazy air buzzes with electricity, the cab of his sedan suddenly feeling two sizes too small. The blunt burns away where you hold it aloft, just waiting for Mingi to take it. He doesn’t move, seemingly frozen in place as wasted smoke fills the space between you. He finally raises his hand, but instead of the blunt, he reaches for your face, his big palm spanning your whole cheek.

“Y/n, can I kiss you?” he breathes, his voice so full of longing that it takes yours away, leaving you to nod as he leans in. Your eyelids flutter down, your lips just barely puckered and your heart galloping in your chest. It flips when his mouth touches yours, skips when he lets out a wounded noise and presses harder, soars when his fingers slide to the back of your neck and tilt your head to the angle he deems best for kissing you out of your mind.

You sigh into him, melting closer and closer until you’re all but draped over the middle console with just his hand holding you up. He laughs against your mouth, his teeth digging into the plush of your bottom lip just enough to sting. You feel calmer than you ever have kissing someone but you also feel like you could vibrate out of your skin, and it can only be the potent combination of good weed and Mingi.

It’s a cocktail you’ve tried before but never like this, and it only takes a few minutes of his lips pressed to yours for you to know that you can’t go back. You can’t go back to not knowing what it’s like to kiss him, to feel his fingers in your hair, to get this close to him and then have him pull you even closer.

You can’t go back to just being a friend/client, someone who only sees him when they need something.

You want to be more than that to him, and see him all the time, and kiss him all the time, and-

And he’s pulling away. Why is he pulling away?

“Y/n?”

“Hm?” You force your eyes open and lean back far enough to take in his expression. He looks… sad? Regretful? Not exactly what you expected or what you’d like to see after he’s just kissed you for the first time, but you try not to let your feelings get hurt and wait for him to speak.

Except… he doesn’t. He swipes a thumb over your cheekbone and pulls away, reaching into the backseat before setting the bag of treats on your thigh and putting the car in reverse. You’re unsure of what just happened and what to do about it, but you are hungry and you could really use some sugar right now, so you glumly open the bag and start eating.

You chew absentmindedly, your eyes wandering over to Mingi’s face. You can tell he’s focused on driving but he looks stressed, his jaw clenched and his brow furrowed. You wish you could make him feel better but you don’t actually know what’s wrong, and with your mind still buzzing from weed and the kiss, you think talking may not be the best idea.

You ride in silence for a few minutes, watching the buildings whiz past and bopping along to his playlist. When Mingi’s favorite song comes on and he neglects to sing the opening line, you decide you’ve had enough.

“Mingi, what’s wrong?” You plead, your eyes tracing his side profile and your fingers itching to intertwine with his. He sighs, chewing on his lip and nervously darting his eyes from mirror to windshield to mirror.

“I just… I didn’t want it to happen that way. I know I asked, and that’s my fault, this whole thing is, but I- fuck. I’m doing this all wrong.”

Shaking his head, he clicks the blinker on and pulls carefully into a dimly lit parking lot. He turns the car off and undoes his seat belt, turning to you and fighting to tuck one knee up on the seat.

You’re sure your confusion is clear on your face, as is the small amount of hurt you can’t will away, and Mingi takes both of your hands in his, looking at them instead of you.

“I didn’t want our first kiss to be like that. I mean, we were high, you’re stressed, and you’re buying. I guess I just wanted it to be more… romantic, but I got impatient and ruined everything.”

He wanted your first kiss to be romantic. He’s thought about your first kiss before, and about how he wanted it to be.

You could scream, but you figure you should reassure him first.

“Mingi, that’s so sweet I want to cry, but don’t be so dramatic. We can always kiss again.”

“We can?” He pouts, finally looking up and meeting your eyes, his own swimming with what you fear are unshed tears.

“Yes!” you squeeze his hands emphatically, “Literally any time you want.”

“Like… right now?” His eyes dart down to your lips, lingering there as they stretch in a grin. You nod, still smiling, still freaking out inside that he’s envisioned your first kiss, and still desperately hoping for a second.

He leans in closer, his lashes brushing his cheeks and his lips parting before he presses them softly against yours. You can’t help but hold your breath, somehow more nervous about this kiss than the first. It doesn’t take long for Mingi to relax you though, his fingers sinking into your hair and his air mixing with yours.

You sink into the kiss, sighing out the rest of your worries and cupping his jaw to hold him to you. He makes a soft sound as his whole body tips closer, his fingers tightening in your hair and his teeth digging into your bottom lip again. You can’t help but wonder where else he’d bite if given the chance, and can only hope the answer is all over.

When he pulls away this time, you’re dizzy, the sun has gone down, and you’re inches from launching yourself over the center console to climb in his lap. There’s nothing you want to do more than keep kissing him, but it seems he has other plans.

“I should get you home, you need to rest,” he breathes, his voice ragged and his thumb tracing the darkness under your eye.

“No, you should kiss me some more,” you exhale back, sliding your fingers into his hair and using your hold to tug him back to you. His chuckle sounds more like a sigh but he gives in anyway, pressing his plush lips to yours and letting a big hand cover your thigh. You were feeling warm before but with his calloused fingers brushing over the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, you feel hot, like you could melt or burst into flames or combust.

Any one of the three is a possibility so long as Mingi keeps his hands on you, which is why you’re part relieved and part devastated when he pulls away. You lick your lips, chasing his taste but letting him settle back into his seat. Your hand falls from his hair and he catches it, smooching the back with a loud smack and brightly grinning at you.

You giggle freely, feeling lighter than you have in days and barely even dreading returning to your flat. “Can I take you home now?” He asks, squeezing at the flesh of your thigh just because he can.

“Yeah, you can take me home now,” you whisper back with a small, fond smile, covering his hand with yours to keep it there as he turns the headlights on and exits the parking lot. You drift for most of the ride back, Mingi’s soft, low voice lulling you slowly to sleep.

You blink awake as he pulls up to your flat, rubbing at your eyes and at the numb spot on your face where you were resting against the window. You look over with a drowsy smile and lean forward to kiss him goodbye, clumsily unbuckling your seatbelt as you do.

“I would walk you up, but I got towed last time,” he pouts apologetically, making you let out a sleepy laugh and respond, “I know, baby, you called me crying after.”

“I wasn’t crying!” he swears as you climb out of the car and gently shut the door.

What you don’t see as you walk away is him slowly tipping forward to rest his head against the steering wheel, whispering gleefully to himself, “She called me baby.”

AN: written as a commission for a diff idol and reworked to fit mingi!! beta’d by @petrichor-mingi thank you!!

part two will have smut :-)))

Part Two

pls reblog if you enjoyed! i would love to hear your thoughts 💖

My Masterlist

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griseldagimpel · 6 months

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How to Punish Democrats in the United States for Being Pro-Genocide

I've seen a lot of posts about abandoning the Democratic party. (Because, really, is Be Anti-Genocide really that much of a fucking ask??)

And I've seen a lot of posts about how not voting Democrat means the Republicans will win, which means we'll end up with politicians that are both pro-genocide and a bunch of other awful shit. (Yep. This is true.)

But I haven't seen a lot of posts going around about other things people could do, especially with primaries literally being next year in which the entire House of Representatives and a third of the Senate are up for re-election.

For those not familiar with primaries, they are elections that take place before the general election and are the mechanism for how the general election candidate for a political party is selected. So a primary won't be Democrat vs Republican, it'll be Democrat vs Democrat or Republican vs Republican.

To start, yes, a lot of the below require a lot of time and effort. Yeah, the reality is is that the world's a shitty place because people who want to change it are struggling to exist under late stage capitalism. If there's something on this list you can't do, that's fine. What can you do?

This post is mostly not going to focus on Biden. He's not the sum total of the Democratic party, and if more of the party was against him, he'd have a harder time getting traction. That said, if you do have a presidential primary with him on the ballot, you should absolutely vote against him, just on principle.

Depending on the state, you may need to be a registered member of the Democratic Party to vote in the Democratic Party Primary. And, look, registering as a Democrat doesn't mean you have a legal obligation to vote for a Democratic candidate in the general election. There's no loyalty pledge you have to sign that says you agree with every single position the Democratic Party holds. There's not a membership fee. Literally, all it does is mean that your little voting card says you're a Democrat, which establishes that you want to have a say in how the Democratic Party is run. That's it.

Alright, first step. Who are your two Senators and one House Representative? Here's a link to find that information: https://www.usa.gov/elected-officials

Second step: Are your elected officials Democrats? (Or Independents that caucus with the Democrats?) And are they pro-Genocide?

If they're a Republican, than your goal is to elect an anti-Genocide Democrat. (Or anti-Genocide Independent who'll caucus with the Democrats. Same difference. I'm just going to use "Democrat" from here on out, and you can substitute in "Independent" if it applies.) You still care about primaries, though. It's just that in the General election, the Republican candidate will be incumbent rather than the challenger.

If they're a anti-Genocide Democrat, send them a letter telling them you appreciate their position, and most of the rest of this post doesn't apply to you.

If they're a pro-Genocide Democrat, is there someone running against them in the primary? https://ballotpedia.org/ is a great resource here.

If they've got a primary challenger, is their primary challenger anti-Genocide? If they are, write them and tell them you appreciate their position. Then write to the incumbent and tell them that them being pro-Genocide is why you aren't voting for them in the primary. If the primary challenger is pro-Genocide or doesn't have a stated position, write to them and try to get them to adopt an anti-Genocide position. Pay attention to town hall events, and don't hesitate to contact the campaign. Primaries don't get a lot of attention, so if you can get a primary challenger to switch positions, there's not a big risk of blow back for them doing so. (In a general election, switching positions can get a candidate labeled a flip-flop, so keep that in mind.)

If there's not a primary challenger or if you need a better primary challenger, who in your community can run as one? Check with your local leftist organizations. Check deadlines and requirements to get a candidate on the ballot. It usually requires getting a certain number of signatures on a petition from people in your area.

Now that you've got an anti-Genocide primary challenger, consider volunteering for their campaign. And, something to keep in mind, turn out for primaries tends to be low, and the smaller the population size of the district, the lower that number will be. It may only take a few hundred votes to swing a primary election, if you've got a smaller district.

While all this is going on, you will no doubt be flooded with messages from Democratic candidates begging for money. For each, check their position. If they're pro-Genocide, don't give them money and then call, email, or write them telling them that their pro-Genocide position is why they aren't getting money. If they're anti-Genocide, and you can afford it, give them a bit of money. Yeah, in the bigger elections, there's ridiculous amounts of money in play, but a primary challenger might not necessarily be rolling in it.

Finally, vote in the primaries.

#politics #elections #primary elections #long post #israel palestine conflict #vote these fuckers out

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mostlysignssomeportents · 9 months

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When parties fail, movements step up

This Saturday (19 Aug), I'm appearing at the San Diego Union-Tribune Festival of Books. I'm on a 2:30PM panel called "Return From Retirement," followed by a signing:

https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/festivalofbooks

Does anyone like the American two party system? The parties are opaque, private organizations, weak institutions that are prone to capture and corruption, and gerrymandering's "safe seats" means that the real election often takes place in the party's smoke-filled rooms, when a sure-thing candidate is selected:

https://doctorow.medium.com/weak-institutions-a26a20927b27

But there doesn't seem to be any way to fix it. For one thing, the two parties are in charge of any reform, and they're in no hurry to put themselves out of business. It's effectively impossible for a third party to gain any serious power in the USA, and that's by design. After the leftist Populists party came within a spitting distance of power in the 1890s, the Dems and Repubs got together and cooked the system, banning fusion voting and erecting other structural barriers.

The Nader and Perot campaigns were doomed from the outset, in other words. Either candidate could have been far more popular than the D and R on the ballot, and they still would have lost. It's how the deck is stacked, and to unstack it, reformers would need to take charge of at least one – and probably both – of the parties.

But that's not cause for surrender – it's a call to action. In an interview with Seymour Hersh, Thomas Frank (Listen, Liberal) sets out another locus of power, one with the potential to deliver control over the party to its base: social movements:

https://seymourhersh.substack.com/p/ordinary-people-by-the-millions

It's been done before. The parties are routinely transformed by power-shifts within their internal coalitions: since 1970, corporate Dems have consistently pushed the party to the right, making it the power of white-collar professionals and relying on working people showing up and marking their ballots with a D because they have "nowhere else to go."

Bill Clinton was the most successful of these corporate raiders, delivering the parts of the Reagan Revolution that Reagan himself could never have managed: dismantling tariffs and bank regulations, passing the crime bill and welfare "reform." He came within a whisper of (partially) privatizing Social Security.

This set in motion the forces that made Trumpism possible: when Dems told deindustrialized workers to "learn to code" and blamed them for the destruction of their communities, it opened a space for Make America Great Again, the (empty) workerist rhetoric of the GOP. The Dems' plan of putting "really smart people" in charge and letting them run things was a (predictable) disaster. "Really smart" isn't the same as "infallible" and really smart people can be spooked or bulled into doing the wrong thing – like Obama "foaming the runways" for the banks with the houses of mortgage holders, and leaving the bankers responsible for the Great Financial Crisis unscathed:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/15/mon-dieu-les-guillotines/#ceci-nes-pas-une-bailout

"Really smart people" can't get us out of this mess. Instead, we need the kind of muscular political action – the "whirlwind" – that characterized FDR's New Deal: "complete reformation of the banking industry.. just about every other industry as well. Regulation. Social Security. Public works. Antitrust. Soil conservation."

FDR got there by alienating his former classmates and refusing the go-slow entreaties of his cronies. He got there because there was a mass social movement that made him do it ("I want to do it, now make me do it"):

https://humanizingthevacuum.wordpress.com/2014/09/16/i-agree-with-you-i-want-to-do-it-now-make-me-do-it/

Every time in US history where one of the political party duopoly listened to its base, it was because of a mass social movement: the farmers' movement (1890s), labor (1930s), civil rights and antiwar (1960s). As Frank says:

Social movements succeed. They build and they change the intellectual climate and then, when the crisis comes, they make possible things like agrarian reform or the New Deal or the Civil Rights acts of the 1960s.

Today, we see the seeds of those social movements: the new union movement. Black Lives Matter. Neobrandeisians with their "hipster antitrust." These are the movements that are creating "ideas lying around": ideas that, in time of crisis, can move from the fringe to the center in an eyeblink:

https://doctorow.medium.com/ideas-lying-around-33a28901a7ae

They are setting in motion another transformation of the Democratic Party, from its top-down, "really smart people" model to a bottom-up, people-powered one, kept in check by movements, not party bosses. As Frank says, "They require the mass participation of ordinary people. Without that, I am afraid that nothing is possible."

I'm kickstarting the audiobook for "The Internet Con: How To Seize the Means of Computation," a Big Tech disassembly manual to disenshittify the web and make a new, good internet to succeed the old, good internet. It's a DRM-free book, which means Audible won't carry it, so this crowdfunder is essential. Back now to get the audio, Verso hardcover and ebook:

http://seizethemeansofcomputation.org

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/17/popular-front-of-judea/#speaking-frankly

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burntheedges · 1 month

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Passing Notes: Cake

Joel Miller x gn!reader | 1.2k words | Passing Notes masterlist

summary: It’s May and you’re on the hunt for a cookie cake for your niece.

a/n: @trulybetty happy @swiftiscruff gift exchange! Listen — I have no idea where this came from, I was aiming for a meet-cute. Then I thought about how I had to get a cookie cake for a friend’s kid’s dance recital and I couldn’t find one anywhere – where did they go? are we out on cookie cakes, now? – and then this happened. (I did find one in the end but we didn’t even eat it.)

tags/warnings: flirting, cursing, pet names (beautiful, darlin’, handsome), food mention, reader walks and pushes a shopping cart but is otherwise not described

...

You turned the corner towards the bakery section, saying a quick prayer to whoever might be listening that you’d find the thing you needed without having to visit another grocery store. You needed a cookie cake for your niece’s elementary school graduation party – your sister had forgotten to order one, since there was already going to be an actual cake. But your niece and all of the other 11 year olds loved cookie cake, and so here you were, three hours before the party, on the hunt.

You tried to take a deep breath as you pushed your cart past the bakery displays. If you didn’t find it here, you’d probably have to get something else. Could you make a cookie cake in three hours? How hard could it be? You hoped you wouldn’t have to find out.

As you approached the last display before you reached the dairy case, you saw them – a display with only five cookie cakes left. You locked your eyes on them, quickly checking the selection for the one you needed. Your heart rate picked up when you saw it – there, at the far end of the row, one cookie cake with sprinkles and icing balloons decorating half of it. It was perfect. You started to smile as you reached for it – finally, you thought – but your hand never made it. You made contact with something else instead.

You found your fingers suddenly tangled with larger, tanned fingers that accidentally slotted between your own as you both reached for the same cookie cake. You startled and whipped your head to the right, accidentally curling your fingers around the stranger’s and, in your surprise, locking your hands together.

The man was looking at you, too. He had broad shoulders, dark curly hair, a scruffy beard, and soft brown eyes. You blinked. Shit, he’s hot. You felt his arm pressed up against your own and realized he was strong, too.

He cleared his throat and tugged on his fingers where they were tangled with your own. “Ah, sorry, darlin’. Didn’t mean to bump you.”

Darlin’. You blinked again.

“Oh! Er, sorry.” You realized you were still holding his fingers and released them suddenly. “I didn’t even see you, I was just trying to grab that cookie cake.” You reached forward again and stopped.

You both had a hand on the plastic box of the cookie cake. You’d reached forward at the exact same time. You looked at your hands, holding onto opposite sides of the circular box, and then looked back at the (extremely handsome) man.

“Um,” you started, not sure what to say. “Sorry, I’m just getting a cookie cake for my niece.” You tugged the box a little bit towards you, hoping he’d give in.

He sighed and shook his head. “Sorry, darlin’, but I’m gettin’ one for my daughter.” He tugged lightly on the box, too.

“It’s for her graduation party,” you argued, tugging again.

“My daughter’s graduatin’ too,” he returned, tugging back.

“She’s obsessed with cookie cakes,” you tried.

“She said it’s not a real party if she doesn’t have one of these,” he replied, eyebrows raised.

“This one is perfect, though,” you complained.

“This is the third store I’ve been to today,” he said.

You stared at each other, unmoving. Against your will, you felt the corner of your mouth start to lift into a smile. This is ridiculous, you thought, a bit hysterical. The perfect cookie cake was within your grasp, and apparently you now had to face off with the most attractive man you’d ever seen in order to keep it.

As your smile grew you watched him start to smile back at you, eyes crinkling.

“Well, darlin’, it seems that we are at an impasse.” He was outright grinning now, and you tried not to be dazzled by the effect of it.

“It seems we are, stranger.” You bit your lip and his eyes dropped to your mouth. “Any chance your daughter would be happy with one of these other cookie cakes? My niece gave me strict instructions to get one with balloons on it, because balloons are for parties.”

He laughed and nodded. “Same problem. Sarah requests one of these for every birthday and holiday, and she has strong opinions about the right kind of cookie cake, with just the right amount of icing.”

You snorted, charmed. “Well, shit. What are we going to do?”

Joel eyed you, still smiling. You realized your arms were still touching all the way from shoulder to wrist as you stood next to each other, hands on the cookie cake box. It probably looked absurd to any shoppers passing by but you didn’t want to move away. You leaned against him a little bit and his smile grew wider.

“Well, let me introduce myself, first. Joel Miller, darlin’. I am very pleased to meet you.” He nudged your shoulder with his own and winked. “Even if we are in a bit of a tussle, here.”

You laughed and introduced yourself. “Pleased to meet you too, Joel. Even under the circumstances.”

He tilted his head and seemed to make some sort of decision. “I have a proposal for you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “I’d love to hear it.”

Joel turned his body towards you as much as he could without moving his arm or releasing his grip on the box. “I’ll let you have this cookie cake if you’ll give me your number.”

Your eyebrows raised. You were surprised he’d give up that easily, even if you were interested. “Oh yeah? But what about Sarah?”

He shook his head, smiling. “I can get one of the other ones and bust out my cake decoratin’ skills. I did it last time, was just hopin’ not to get made fun of by my daughter for my wonky balloons again. But I’m happy to take the teasin’ if it means I might get to see you again, beautiful.”

You smiled at the line. “Well, Joel Miller, I do not have any cake decorating skills to speak of, and so I am desperate to buy this cookie cake. I’ll take your deal, as long as it doesn’t mean I’m depriving your daughter of the perfect icing-to-cookie ratio.”

He laughed and released his grip on the box. You slid it towards you on the shelf. “If you ask me, she likes way too much icing,” he said. “Not a lot of cookie under there.” Joel seemed to hesitate for a moment, and then said, “you know, you don’t have to give me your number, if you’re not interested – don’t give it to me just because you need this cookie cake.”

You tucked the box safely in your cart, and then turned back to Joel and grinned. “Let me say that again. I’ll take your deal, as long as it doesn’t mean I’m depriving your daughter of the perfect amount of icing, and because I think I’d like to see you again too, handsome.”

He grinned back at you and leaned against the display table, arms crossed. “Well, darlin’, that’s the best news I’ve heard all day.”

You nodded, agreeing. You had a good feeling about this one.

...

a/n: this is sort of what I was picturing for the cookie cake, only the ones they sell without the message so you can pipe it in yourself. And more balloons. 🤷🏻‍♀️ please consider this a thank you for sequins which I love with my whole heart

#PPCUGiftExchange2024 #joel miller x reader #joel miller x gn!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #tlou fic #x reader #bte friendship exchange

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unofficial-writing · 15 days

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She calls me Freddie (Pt. 3)

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, banter, my portrayal of Charlie Weasley, underage drinking, Ron and Harry aren’t fighting for as long (sorry not sorry)

Summary: The competitors are selected and the first task approaches quickly. After Harry succeeds the twins put together a party for Gryffindor

Word count: 5.2k

(Part 3 - Find all other parts here!)

༺═────────────═༻

A good few weeks passed before your hair fully returned to normal and even though you considered it, you didn’t make Fred dye his again. But you did need to go through a couple more boxes on yourself. After the third cycle, the dye finally faded away to its normal color rather than red, which you welcomed back gratefully.

Even after all the time that had passed, the competitors still weren’t chosen. You all tried to go about your day as normal, but anticipation and excitement quickly began to spread through the school. Everyone, student and staff, was eager to start the tournament. Although everyone had entered within the first few days of the year, the selection wouldn’t be made until tonight, weeks later.

After dinner everyone gathered in the great hall, chatting on about their guesses on who would be the three students. Some of the tables had been set aside and replaced with the wood bleachers, situated so that the goblet was in the center of the room and everyone would have a good view of it. You sat on these bleachers just one seat in front of Fred, leaning back to let his knees support you.

Dumbledore stepped up to the cup and instructed everyone to sit, waiting until they did so to begin speaking. “Now the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the champion selection!” He announced to the now quiet room. Every single one of you were paying attention. The professor waved a hand across the room, dimming the torches until the blue flame was the main source of light.

He stepped toward the cup, staring at it as if willing it to do something. On cue, the blue fire suddenly turned red and spit out a small piece of paper, which Dumbledore caught. “The Durmstrang champion is,” he started, reading off the name. “Viktor Krum!” Cheers came from their table and everyone clapped him on the back. Viktor stood and walked down to the headmaster, shaking his hand.

With no warning, the goblet presented another name, this time written on an elegant piece of parchment lined with gold. “The champion for Beauxbatons is Fleur Delacor!” Fleur stood with a smile, walking towards Dumbledore with applause following her. She shook his hand as well and then off to the next competitor.

“The Hogwarts champion, Cedric Diggory!” The room erupted into cheers as his name was called, being a popular choice amongst the Hogwarts entries. Cedric wore a proud smile, accepting every congratulations he was given on the way up to the rest of the champions. He shook Dumbledore’s hand before joining them.

“I still think I should’ve been able to enter.” Fred complained as the applause died out. You put a hand on his knee sympathetically.

“If only you were a year older.” You told him, still using his legs as the back of a chair. He absentmindedly began to twirl a piece of your hair.

“Excellent! We now have our three champions!” Dumbledore announced. “But in the end, only one will go down in history. Only one will hoist this chalice of champions. This vessel of victory. The Tri-wizard cup!” Everyone’s attention was directed to the end of the hall where the cover was lifted off the trophy. It was a blue and silver cup, decorated elegantly and giving off a bright glow. The entire room applauded once more.

The celebration was suddenly put on hold, heads turning back to the stone goblet. The flame danced again in preparation of a fourth name. It turned red and another piece of paper was shot into the air, falling slowly into the headmaster’s hands.

“Harry Potter,” he read quietly. The entire room turned towards Harry, who sat on your right side. You glanced at him and he met your eyes nervously before looking back in Dumbledore’s direction. “Harry Potter?” He called, scanning the room for the boy.

Harry tried sinking further into his seat and you could feel the dread coming off of him. “Harry Potter!” Dumbledore yelled, finally spotting him.

“For goodness sake, Harry.” Hermione said, reaching down and grabbing his shoulder, pushing him in the right direction. The entire room was silent enough that you could hear the crackling of the fire. Harry reluctantly made his way to the professor, each slow step bringing more tension to the room.

The boy was handed his name and then headed toward the rest of the champions, his eyes moving between all the whispering students around him. The whispers soon turned into protests. “He’s a cheat!” “He’s not even seventeen yet!” Harry slouched, making him look smaller than normal. He passed the teachers, receiving looks from every one of them except for McGonagall who put a hand on his shoulder.

With all four students selected, the flame in the goblet died out until it was extinguished, leaving the room quiet and dark again. Dumbledore seemed to come back to his senses. “You’re all dismissed!” He yelled, hurrying everyone out of the hall so he could attend to the new situation. You gave Harry a sympathetic look, which he didn’t see because he was staring down at the floor, confused. You stood, taking Fred’s hand when he offered and letting him hold yours while you stepped off the bleachers.

“How do you supposed he did it?” Ron asked out in the hallway, now that the crowd dispersed.

“It doesn’t look like he did anything.” You replied. “He looked more confused than we were.”

“You don’t think he figured out a way to enter illegally?” Fred added, walking beside you.

“I don’t think there is a way to enter illegally. And definitely not a way that a fourth-year could figure out. Even Harry.” You responded and Hermione agreed with you. But there wasn’t any way to know for sure what happened until you were told straight from Harry.

─────────────────────────

Time passed in anticipation as everyone waited for the first task to be announced. You were told a couple of days after the champions were chosen that Harry didn’t put his name in the goblet and he would be competing just like the other three. Most people didn’t believe him and were even mad at him for being a competitor, but you stood by your belief. There’s no way he entered on his own.

As far as the first task goes, there would be no telling when or what it would be. It could be days from now or weeks. The one thing this tournament was good at is secrecy.

You sat on the couch in the currently quiet common room, reading one of the books you picked up from the library. During this time of day, most students were out and about, except for you and now Fred. He was silent entering the room until he jumped down onto the couch next to you, making you jump. “God, Fred.” You shook your head, ignoring him and drawing your gaze back down to your book.

He took it from you, setting it down on the table in a way to make sure you wouldn’t lose your page. You crossed your arms, glancing back up at him. “I have a secret.” He crossed his legs, facing you with a dorky smile.

“Oh yeah?” You replied, shifting so that you sat against the arm of the couch.

“But you can’t tell anyone because I’m not really supposed to know.”

“I can’t make any promises.”

“Well, then I can’t tell you, love.” He shrugged, acting like he was getting ready to stand and leave. But even if you were going to tell someone— which you weren’t— he would probably share it with you anyway.

“Fine,” You set a hand on his leg to keep him there. “I won’t tell anyone.”

He looked around him as if there were anyone else in the common room and leaned in close to you, brushing your hair out of the way so he could whisper in your ear. You contained a shiver as his fingers brushed against your neck. “I know what the first task is. “He said, boasting.

You sat back to look him in the eyes, raising an eyebrow. “How?” You asked him skeptically. “No offense, but you’re the last person they would tell.”

“Ok well, I don’t know exactly what it is but I do know what’s in it.” He admitted, his gaze briefly drifting to whatever was near the floor.

“And what is that?”

“Dragons,” he announced, waiting for your reaction. You sat up a little.

“Dragons?”

“Dragons.” He repeated. “And for your information, I said I wasn’t supposed to know. They only told me because my brother—”

“Charlie?” You interrupted, causing Fred to abandon the rest of his sentence.

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “Yes, Charlie’s coming.” He said, already knowing your reaction. You grinned at the news.

“I haven’t seen him since Christmas! When’s he getting here?” You asked, speaking quickly. You had first met Charlie back in your first year and he immediately became an older brother to you. Even after he graduated, you still saw him during the holidays.

“We’re supposed to help him unload the dragons tonight.” Fred explained. “And he specifically instructed us to bring you.” Fred tilted his head toward you, amused at your excitement.

“Of course he did,” You told him, resting an arm on the back of the couch. “Otherwise he’d have to wait to see his favorite sibling again until Christmas.”

Fred shook his head. It was a running joke between you all and after the first few times it was told, it stopped bothering him. “Well, lucky for you. You get to see your favorite Weasley every day.”

You tilted your head, making a face that suggested Fred wasn’t your favorite. Even though evidence would prove otherwise. He scoffed and grabbed you from your spot on the couch, pulling you toward him to tickle you. “I know I didn’t just see you make that face.”

You laughed against your will, squirming to get out of his arms. “Fred, you’re torturing me!” You got out between giggles. You escaped his tickling but he still locked his arms around you, trapping you there.

“Freddie, Let me go!” You begged, using your hands to try and pry his arms off, clearly unsuccessful.

“Not until you take it back,”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

“You know what you did, y/n l/n.” He pouted exaggeratedly, loosening his grip a little when you stopped wiggling.

“Fine. You’re my favorite,” You admitted with a sigh.

“Your favorite what?”

“Freddie!”

“Your favorite what?” He teased you, squeezing you tightly. You turned around in his arms so that you were facing him.

“Okay, you’re my favorite person in the entire world.” you told him, making a stupid face at him. He paused for a split second. That wasn’t the answer he expected. But just as every other time, he snapped out of it quickly.

“Well, I’m flattered.” He replied, letting his hand slide to your shoulders and then down your arms to hold your hands. “And you’ll be happy to hear that you’re my favorite person too.” Fred booped your nose, putting a little smile on your face.

“That’s wonderful news.” You stated simply, taking in the details of the boy you were looking at. God, he really was attractive. And it was a mystery why it took you so long to realize it.

─────────────────────────

After dark, you all had to take a walk through the woods to get to the spot where the dragons were brought in. You, Fred, George, and Ron all came to see Charlie, each of you with a little light at the tip of your wands that acted as a flashlight.

“Where’s Ginny?” You asked, using your wand to see where you were walking.

“Dunno,” George replied with a shrug. “She said she’d see Charlie tomorrow.”

Despite the light he held, Ron tripped over a root and stumbled a few feet before catching himself and standing again. “I mean this with no offense,” He started, brushing himself off. “But why are you here? I mean he’s our brother—” He was cut off by Fred jabbing him with his elbow, sending him a brotherly glare.

“Because clearly he likes me better.” You returned, not bothered by his question. The sound of dragons growling in the distance was now becoming more audible.

“What, that’s ridiculous—” Ron was cut off again by George.

“No, she’s right. He said specifically in his owl that he likes her better than all three of us combined. And he wants her help with the dragons.” He explained to his younger brother.

“And anyway, she was invited. So why don’t you close that big mouth of yours, Ronnie.” Fred said, shoving his brother’s shoulder.

You came up on the spot, first seeing the four huge cages, all covered so that you couldn’t see what was in them. However, you did see a tall red-haired man climbing down from one of them. He beamed when he saw your group.

“Charlie doesn’t prefer her over his own brothers.” Ron mumbled. Fred glanced down at his brother and then gestured to you, who was already greeting Charlie.

“There she is!” He said, pulling you into a huge bear hug. It felt like he waited until you couldn’t breathe to let go of you. Charlie had a grin on his face, which was painted in a thin layer of ash. It spread even into his long red hair he had tied up, revealing the assortment of rings he wore in his ears. “How’s my favorite sibling?”

This was clearly meant to piss of Ron, which worked flawlessly. “She’s not even your sister,” He complained, crossing his arms. You shot him a look.

Charlie glanced at Ron and then Fred, eyeing him with a smirk. “Well, not yet.” He responded, sending a wink in your direction. You felt heat move to your cheeks, even more so at the look on Fred’s face.

“Nice to see you too, Charlie.” Fred responded sarcastically, doing his best to quickly shake off his previous expression.

Once Charlie properly greeted his brothers, he handed out hard leathery coats, gloves, and boots. “What are these for?” Ron asked, putting on the garments. You slipped yours on, letting it fall around you. It was long enough to reach your boots, making it so your whole body was covered.

“That’s to keep you from burning to death when we get a look at these guys,” Charlie responded, patting the cage. “They’re definitely not happy after such a long trip in such a small cage.” Ron visibly gulped and made sure to button up the coat completely.

“That’s small?” George asked, watching his older brother make his way to the first cage. He nodded casually.

“For them, it is.” Charlie added. He was around dragons long enough that he could forget none of this was normal for everyone else. Most people have never even seen one in person.

On each corner of the cage, the cover was held in place by thick chains, which carried a lock just as impressive in size. “Put your hoods on,” Charlie instructed, kneeling down to the first lock. “And make sure you don’t get your face melted. That coat is completely fireproof but anything uncovered is gonna get burned.” He pointed out a little flap on the inside of your coat that you could lift over your face if needed.

Charlie flicked his wand, unlocking the first corner. The chain fell and allowed its portion of the cover to flap a little. The dragon inside rumbled at the movement. “Get ready!” He called, walking over to the next lock where you stood.

He unlocked it and as soon as the chain fell, the cover lifted and fell toward the other side of the cage, revealing the dragon inside. There was absolutely no warning but Charlie somehow grabbed you quickly enough, covering your face and turning you so your back was toward the dragon. Within part of a second, fire surrounded you two, simply bouncing off of your jackets. You felt nothing more than a a sudden wave of heat.

Once it ended, Charlie brushed any remaining flames off of you and turned toward the creature. He spoke firmly to it in a dialect you didn’t recognize, which settled the dragon.

You glanced over at Fred, who stared back at you with wide eyes and his mouth slightly agape. “Bloody hell.” He said quietly, putting a hand to his chest so he could start breathing again.

Charlie spoke like this for a minute until the dragon sat contently in its cage. That’s when you finally got a good look at it. It was absolutely huge, with sharp horns running across its back and down its tail, covering the majority of its body. Charlie wasn’t joking when he said the cage was too small. “A horntail?” You asked, beyond impressed. You received a proud grin from him, as if he was showing you his child.

“Isn’t he beautiful?” He replied, pulling off the rest of the cover. Fred walked to your side reluctantly, not quite trusting that it was done breathing fire.

“I’ve never seen one in person,” you said in absolute awe. It’s huge head turned toward you, eyes focusing on your face for a few moments before losing interest. The dragon turned around in its cage, getting a good look at its new surroundings.

Charlie had you all split up and take a section of the remaining cages at a time. “These ones won’t be so aggressive.” He assured. “The horntail was the hardest of all of them.” You and Charlie walked ahead to get to the next cage, which was parked farther away to avoid conflict between the dragons.

“So, when are you going to start dating my little brother?” Charlie asked suddenly, gesturing to Fred who walked a little ways behind. You snapped your head up to him.

“What are you talking about, Charlie? We’re not dating.” You replied to him, taken aback by his forward question.

“Oh please, y/n.” He said, wiping a bit of ash off his face, which smudged black against his pale skin. “We’ve all been taking bets since your first year.”

You stuttered, clearly not knowing how to respond. He laughed at this, stopping at the corner of the cage.

“If you say you don’t like him even a little then you’re lying.” He said, kneeling down and unlocking the first lock. “And I need you to hurry up and get with him or I’ll lose money to Bill.” Charlie has always been one to say exactly what he was thinking but this was the first time it caught you so off guard. Ron was on the other side and undid the second lock, unveiling a smaller green dragon. This one was quite vocal but didn’t attempt to roast you.

“I’m so glad you know how I feel about him, Charlie.” You replied, crossing your arms. He shrugged and smiled, turning to remove the cover completely.

You noticed George struggling with a cage by himself so you walked over to help him, trying to avoid any further interrogation from his older brother.

“Oi, Fred. Help me with this one!” Charlie called, heading to the last cage. Fred passed you on the way over, nudging you playfully with his elbow. You made a face at him, brining out his wonderful laugh.

You made it to George, shaking your head and sighing as you kneeled down beside him. “God, does everyone think I’m in love with Fred?” You asked sarcastically. George paused for a moment and glanced at you, then returned to his work.

“Yes,” he responded simply. “But to be fair, most of us have a filter. Unlike Charlie” He nodded to the next lock and you moved there.

“I don’t know why everyone assumes that.” You muttered, lifting your wand to the lock in front of you.

“Well, are you?” George questioned, his eyes still focused on his corner of the cage.

“No!” You snapped defensively. But then your eyes drifted to Fred and you weren’t so sure. The sight of him made you feel like melting right there. He looked like he was actually starting to enjoy this, smiling as a smaller red dragon pressed its nose against the cage to greet him. He looked different to you lately. Just looking at him started to make your stomach flip.

George caught your stare. “You sure?”

You sighed, letting your face soften as you watched him. “No,” You said quietly. George looked up at you, surprised that you admitted it.

Do you even know how you feel about him? So much has change since the summer, but maybe that’s exactly why. Maybe you were proving everyone right after all. You paused for a minute before continuing on, looking down at George. “You can’t tell Fred.”

He glanced at his twin and then at you, probably considering wether or not to agree. After a brief moment, he gave you a soft smile. “I won’t, I promise.”

“Thank you, George.” You said, relieved. Charlie came over to your cage and helped you lift the cover completely to reveal a Swedish short snout, which was already fairly calm.

─────────────────────────

It was late when you finally finished since Charlie wanted every dragon to be settled perfectly into their temporary enclosures. “When is the task?” You asked him.

“Two days from now.” He answered casually, giving each dragon a once over.

“And how long are you staying?”

“I’ll be leaving with them once they’re done.” He told you and shoved your shoulder playfully. “But I’ll still see you for Christmas. You’re coming to the burrow, right?”

“I don’t think I have a choice, Charlie.” You said with a chuckle. Fred appeared by your side, resting an arm around your shoulder. “Fred is going to drag me there wether I like it or not.”

“Absolutely correct.” He responded, booping your nose and giving you a stupid perfect smile. Your eyes were stuck on his for a moment, mimicking his soft expression until you thought about your conversation with George. Your gaze drifted to him briefly, only to see his smirk.

Once Charlie was satisfied and absolutely sure all four dragons were taken care of, he let you go. The walk back was long and dark and the woods seemed to be endless. Fred offered an arm to you until you exited the forest, which you took and didn’t let go of even when you reached the castle.

A certain tension hung in the air between you two, there because both of you wanted to say something you couldn’t. Fred broke this with whatever thought was on his mind. “Glad we got to see Charlie.” He said sarcastically, coaxing a quiet laugh out of you.

“I imagine he had the same conversation with you, then?” You inquired, glancing down at the stone floor beneath your feet. The castle was dimly lit but still much brighter than the pitch black of the forest.

“That depends on if we’re thinking of the same conversation.” He responded, avoiding saying the words directly.

“I think we are.”

“I think we are too.”

Out of all your years of knowing Fred, this was the first time your talking flowed almost awkwardly. Normally it came so naturally to you two.

There was a long pause before you spoke again. “He’s just being Charlie though. Just ridiculous.” When you said it, you weren’t sure you meant it as much as before. Honestly, Charlie was likely not being ridiculous at all.

“Yeah, ridiculous.” Fred replied. Was there disappointment in his voice? God, the awkwardness made you want to squirm. That awkwardness was exactly why you didn’t want Fred to know what you said to George. It would ruin the dynamic between you, which was years in the making.

─────────────────────────

The next two days went by quickly and after that night you both seemed to forget about what happened with Charlie. Or at least pretended it didn’t happen. Regardless, both of you were back to normal. That morning the task was finally announced, giving only a couple of hours notice to the spectators.

The stadium, which would hold the event, was already occupied by nearly every student and teacher. You had managed to find and keep three sits for you and the twins, who had decided to hold betting. Once they had gone through every row twice, they finally arrived at your seats. “Look at this! I’m not even mad they canceled Quidditch this year!” Fred yelled over the crowd. You gave him a look, feeling the opposite about the situation.

“Well, I am.” You replied, still irritated that your sport had been put on hold for the year. Fred stopped beside you, letting George move to your other side.

“You’re always mad, Y/n.” George added, leaning over the wood barrier in front of you. Down below on the stadium floor were sharp jagged rocks, crowding the arena. On one end was a large golden egg, sitting just in front of a huge opening where each dragon would enter.

The objective of the task was to capture the egg, which was protected by the dragon. You imagined the type of dragon would be paired to each champion at random. But some would have a harder time than others, given that the horntail for example is much more aggressive than the welsh green and will guard his egg much more fiercely.

Suddenly the canon went off, sending the crowd roaring with more applause. The first competitor was Cedric, who took on the Swedish short snout. He collected his egg and made it out unscathed. Cedric was followed by Viktor Krum with the Chinese fireball and Fleur with the Welsh green.

“Harry has the horntail.” You said, barely audible over the yelling. “That seems hardly fair considering he’s only fourteen!”

“I don’t think they chose it for Harry on purpose.” Fred replied, clearly not as concerned as you were. You sighed and leaned down on the barrier.

Harry was introduced and then entered the stadium and reluctantly, taking in the sight. Everyone cheered when he entered, except for Hermione below you who looked far more worried.

The crowd went still in anticipation. The stadium below you suddenly looked abandoned, showing absolutely no sign of the dragon. You watched Harry make up his mind and make a start toward the egg, only to be stopped immediately by a huge tail swinging and hitting the rock just above his head. The crowd gasped as Harry rolled to the side, barely avoiding it.

The dragon, which you had seen calm only a few nights ago, now climbed the rocks with a huge growl and turned back to Harry. You gripped the wood tightly, Fred taking your hand off it to keep you from getting splintered.

The creature spotted the boy and sent fire in his direction, once again barely missing Harry. He made a run for the egg, followed closely by his opponent. The dragon gave Harry several more blows, swinging its tail and sending him flying. The crowd gasped and you grabbed Fred’s sleeve, clasping a hand over your mouth. It was a miracle he wasn’t just impaled.

Harry ducked behind a rock, just in time to avoid being burned. “Your wand, Harry!” Hermione yelled. “Your wand!” As if he heard her, he lifted his want, shouting a spell you couldn’t hear over the noise.

A few seconds later, a broom came speeding overhead, heading in Harry’s direction. He managed to jump onto it before more of the dragon’s fire reached him. Everyone applauded, Hermione probably the loudest.

Harry flew toward the egg, reaching down and just missing it. “Ooh” came from the crowd as he rose again to turn around, followed by the dragon. Everyone paused, hearing the crunch of metal breaking and seeing the chain falling to the ground, removing the only thing keeping the creature in the stadium.

The pattern in the audience continued with gasps this time as the dragon was freed from the area, forcing Harry to fly out and away from it. They left destruction in their path, nearly taking out the professors.

“Yes!” George cheered.

“Well done, dragon!” Fred followed. Harry and the dragon quickly ducked out of sight, leaving everyone else to wait for their return. It was several minutes before this happened.

Harry appeared over the rocks, his broom sturggling to take him back to the stadium. He ducked down and this time succeeded in taking ahold of the egg, which immediately sent the crowd into shouts and cheers.

─────────────────────────

Everyone met Harry on the walk back, taking turns clapping him on the back. Hermione, who had zero faith in his survival, jumped into his arms. “Well done, Harry!” You congratulated. The boy was still out of breath and covered in dirt and a little blood.

Ron grabbed his shoulders, taking the egg out of his hands and examining it. “Well, how are we going to celebrate?”

“We’ll take care of that, mate.” Fred chimed in, slapping his brother on the back. You could already see a plan forming in the twins’ head. And take care of it, they did.

It was late at night when you finally made it back to the common room, which you entered with Hermione. You were quickly hit with loud music, traveling effortlessly through your ears. The sound made your heart seem to hop right out of your chest, and the sight of the Gryffindors crowded in the common room increased that feeling. It was a miracle McGonagall hadn’t found out about this yet.

“Oh god, what did they do?” Hermione muttered as you stepped into the room. You two were exact opposites in your reaction.

Right through the door, you were grabbed by Fred, who placed a hand carefully on both of your arms. “I was wondering when you would get here, darling.” He told you. Hermione gave you a smirk as he dragged you away, leading you through the sea of Gryffindors.

“Are you drunk, Freddie?” You asked him, knowing full well he acted similar drunk as he did normally, but he wasn’t drunk very often.

“Not yet, love.” He told you with a smile and a wink. You shook your head at him, able to tell by his voice he was sober. “Dance with me, will you?” You obliged, letting him move you with the music. The beat pounded in your ears, syncing with your heart and thumping in your chest.

How they managed to bring in firewhisky was beyond you, but it only took a few drinks to bring you much closer to Fred. You were far from drunk but definitely tipsy. And you could say the same for him. The room around you faded as you pulled him closer to you, his face only inches away. His green eyes were fixed on yours making your heart double its pace. “You’re beautiful,” He said suddenly. His expression was soft and his eyes admiring you.

“What?” You whispered, your hands lifting to his neck. Fred had complimented you before but it sounded like he meant it differently this time. He leaned closer to you, his lips brushing yours delicately. It sent a shock through your body and in that moment all you wanted was to close the space. You could have kissed him, but there were too many drinks involved.

“Fred,” you mumbled, ghosting his lips with his name.

“Hm?”

“We’re drunk.” You told him. Neither of you were really drunk but you were still worried he— you too for that matter— was acting off of the firewhisky. He responded by pulling his face back from yours, respecting your decision without a second question.

“If we’re going to kiss, we’re going to do it sober.” You decided, making him chuckle. The sound made you long for him even more and you were sure if he asked to kiss you, you would let him. But of course, being Fred Weasley, he wasn’t going to ask you again after you told him no.

“I’m going to hold you to that.” He said, gently pressing a long kiss to your forehead. You were grateful he was still holding you because you could’ve melted right there if he wasn’t.

George made his way over, grabbing onto his brother. “Come on, Freddie!” He said and you could immediately tell he was much farther gone. “Sing a song for your girlfriend!” You didn’t even notice what he said since he started to drag Fred away. It was colder now without his warm body beside you.

Fred didn’t need any drinks to oblige in his brother’s request. The music changed and suddenly Fred was on the common room table, singing— more like shouting— the words to you, using his wand as a microphone.

You giggled at the sight, utterly taken by the boy, who blew you an exaggerated kiss. George, Charlie, and everyone else were right this whole time, you were absolutely in love with Fred Weasley.

─────────────────────────

#she calls me freddie #fred wealsey fic #fred weasely x y/n #fred weasley #harry potter fanfiction #weasley twins #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fluff #fred weasly x reader #fred weasley x you #fred weasley fic #hogwarts fanfiction #hogwarts #harry potter #george weasley

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coldgoldlazarus · 3 months

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It's frustrating how, regardless of where you fall, there's this assumption of a binary between Biden or Trump. Voting in November or not voting at all. Those are the only options we have guys. Biden or Trump. Vote or no vote. It's so easy to fall into binaries. If you criticize Biden or his policies, the assumption is you're obviously angling to abstain from voting and land us all back in the same mess as 2016. If you try to urge people to vote who actually ARE getting nilhistic about it, obviously you're a liberal shill who supports the same atrocities Biden does. On some level I get it, because third-party candidates simply aren't viable.

BUT LET ME TELL YOU ALL A LITTLE SECRET!

There's this little thing happening earlier in the year, before November. It's at different times in different states, and you should go look up when it's happening in yours, but it's really important to know about. It is the Democratic primaries.

Because guess what? The world is bigger than two shitty old men. Instead of going to bat for the slightly less shitty of the two, I'd rather direct everyone's attention to the possibility of other options that lie outside that binary. If you want to avoid a slide into facism, but you also don't want to just vote for the lesser evil who will keep supporting a genocide, guess what! You don't have to!

Go look up the Primaries. Find out when and where they're happening. Talk to other people you know about them too. Look up the other candidates in the running, and find someone who you can at least stand to see in the Oval Office. None of them will be perfect, but there has to be someone better than the current selection. And push for them. Push for them, get other people to consider backing that person instead of the decrepit one, and vote in the primaries. And then vote in November too.

It doesn't have to be a matter of choosing between Biden or Trump, if we make sure someone else wins the Primaries instead. Instead of a binary of voting or not voting, consider voting twice.

The systems we have in place suck and need to be heavily rebuilt. But we aren't going to do that overnight, so until then, we really should make the full use of those systems to make sure someone at least halfway decent is in charge, someone willing to help tear down and rebuild those systems instead of just shoring themselves up.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ONLY BIDEN OR TRUMP. THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX. VOTE IN THE PRIMARIES.

#not a reblog #been wanting to make this post for a while #please help spread it around #politics

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biographydivider · 28 days

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I think what's upset me the most about the Watcher situation is how sudden the desicion was. I feel like the team have just hit the nuclear option right out of the gate without trying other things - I know Spotify doesn't make that much money in the grand scheme of things but how many of us have cried out for PU songs on some sort of streaming service so we can play them away from Youtube? I know merch sales involve third parties but the selection has been dog water for a while and I was dying for something new - my Professor badge broke and I was so sad I couldn't just buy a new one, shipping costs be damned!

We all had so much good will. I feel like if the boys had done a merch drop and just said "guys we really need help. Please buy the new merch for us, let's sell out this weekend, we'd appreciate it" it would have happened. Look at the Professor plushies, they sold in a matter of days all over the world. The fucking UK shows sold out in minutes! We crashed the website!

It almost feels like we weren't allowed to try.

#watcher #I'm not even angry #and I haven't even decided if I will move money around to afford it #I'm just very very sad

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romione-trope-fest · 3 months

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Hufflepuff Tea (Search)Party

Fic Title: Hufflepuff Tea (Search)Party

Author Name: CowahBull

Selected Trope: OotP Missing Moment

Brief Summary: Hufflepuffs are great advice-givers. They’re the best argument mediators. Find a Hufflepuff if you need to be told the brutally honest truth. A Hufflepuff will never purposely steer you wrong. Hufflepuffs are also excellent gossip-finders. It’s a well-known fact around Hogwarts that if you ever need to know what’s going on in the school, you find a Hufflepuff. This particular group of Hufflepuffs has their eyes set on the story around a certain pair of Gryffindor Prefects.

Word Count: 2859 Rating: G Trigger Warnings: None

_____________

Attempting to be as inconspicuous as possible, Hannah and Susan exited the Room of Requirements to make their way back to the Hufflepuff Common Room. Hannah ensured that her prefect badge was securely attached as they passed a small group of third-year Slytherins in the second-floor corridor. She watched them turn onto the staircase leading to the Great Hall.

“Did you see me hit Zacharias with that Stunner?” Susan was chatting happily as they passed the portrait of the bowl of fruit, which hid the entrance to the kitchen. “He didn’t even have a chance to Shield.” Susan gave a triumphant whoop, and Hannah hushed her while giggling herself.

“Ernie got me a couple times tonight,” Hannah admitted as they approached the entrance to the Common Room. “I’m going to need to practice my Shield Charm before the next meeting. Do you want to practice with me after we finish Snape’s Potions essay?”

“I have Flitwik’s essay after I’m finished with Potions,” said Susan, giving the second barrel to the right a hard knock, revealing the entrance to the nearly empty Hufflepuff Common Room. “We’ll have work on it later in the week.”

“Damn,” Hannah said, disappointed. “Yeah, we can do that.”

They found seats around the table in the corner and prepared to begin working on Snape’s Shrinking Solutions assignment; they were joined shortly after by Justin Finch-Fletchley and Ernie Macmillan.

“Guess who I just caught snogging behind that tapestry of the unicorn hunt,” whispered Ernie, relishing in the chance to share the latest gossip.

“Peeves and Sir Cadogen?” Susan teased, trying and failing to keep her focus on the schoolwork in front of her.

“Ginny Weasley and Michael Corner.” Ernie took his seat to Susan’s left and began pulling Snape’s essay from his bag. “Third couple I’ve caught back there this month.”

“People need to find another place to snog,” Hannah said, rolling her eyes. “I found Ancrum and Hurst back there yesterday.”

“Amatures,” scoffed Justin, “everyone knows about that spot. You’re guaranteed to be caught back there. Surprised Filch hasn’t permanently posted himself there overnight.”

Susan shared a mischievous look with Ernie before returning her attention to her parchment; she still needed to add another four inches on the importance of the full moon on ingredient harvesting.

Scratching quills and the rustle of papers filled the room, interrupted only by questions asked of neighbors and the occasional curses on Snape’s name.

“So, when did Weasley and Granger start dating?” mused Ernie as he flicked through the pages of his textbook.

"Wait!” Susan exclaimed, throwing down her quill, suddenly extremely invested in Ernie’s latest news. “I didn’t know they’re actually dating. Have you been withholding information from us?”

“Haven’t you seen them in the last few DA meetings?” continued Ernie. “They never stopped flirting that entire time.”

“I don’t think they even know they’re flirting,” Hannah argued.

“They were joking around a lot between their Stunning Spells,” Justin said disinterestedly. “I don’t think that means they’re dating, though.”

“I think Neville would have mentioned it if Ron and Hermione were together,” Hannah said, not looking up as she opened her copy of The Standard Book of Spells: Volume Five. “He shares a dorm with Ron, after all.”

“Maybe he doesn’t know,” argued Ernie.

“I really don’t think that’s enough evidence to prove that they’re together,” sighed Susan, returning her attention to the book in front of her.

“We can ask Longbottom tomorrow,” suggested Justin. “We have Herbology with Gryffindor in the afternoon. Hannah partners up with him whenever possible.” He gave Hannah a playful wink that she responded to with a rude gesture, her cheeks turning pink. Susan rolled her eyes and picked up her quill and a fresh piece of parchment. She had far too much homework tonight to debate the rumored love life between the two Gryffindor Prefects.

—

Greenhouse Six housed the tropical plants, making it the hottest classroom in the school. Susan and Hannah had already shed their outer robes and had pulled their hair into high buns on top of their heads when Professor Sprout charged the class to break into groups of three to take on the task of repotting Solanum melongena. Hannah was quick to claim Neville Longbottom as her and Susan’s partner.

Tucking into a station, Susan began prepping the new pot while Neville and Hannah set off on the task of calming the plant so it would allow them to uproot it without stinging them in the process. Susan eyed Weasley and Granger across the greenhouse as they began complimenting and stroking the plant sitting in front of them on the other end of the long work bench, with Potter to the left of them prepping a transfer pot.

"Wow, you have such beautiful leaves,” cooed Neville as he stroked the plumage. “Come on, dear, let’s have a look at those roots.” He gently lifted the leaves of their plant and extracted a small handful of dirt. The melongena twitched menacingly at his touch.

“Wonderful job,” Hannah said, reaching in to take a handful of dirt for herself. “So, Neville, we’ve been meaning to ask you about something.” She began to back away as a branch jerked at her.

“Now, now there’s no reason to be like that,” Neville scolded. “Hannah is just trying to help.” He didn’t take his eyes off the flower to which he was tending while addressing the girls, “What do you need to ask me?”

Susan leaned in close to him. “So what’s going on with them?” she gestured her head towards Weasley and Granger across the greenhouse, who were chatting happily with Potter.

Neville furrowed his brow. “Dean and Seamus?” he asked, barely lifting his eyes from the plant. “I’ve been wondering about them too…”

Susan stifled a laugh. “We all have.”

“Come on,” sighed Hannah, pulling a root from the pot. “You know exactly who we’re talking about.”

“Granger and Weasley,” Susan whispered. “When did they start dating?”

“I don’t think Hermione likes him like that,” Neville said, looking at them with mischief in his eyes. “Besides, isn’t Charlie a little old for her anyway?”

“Stop taking the piss, Longbottom,” added Susan, crossing her arms and glaring at Neville.

“Sorry, Susan.” Neville shrugged and returned his attention to the Solanum melongena, dodging to avoid being hit by one of its swinging vines. “I have no intelligence for you.”

–

That evening, Ernie was patrolling the west side of the castle, being sure to check behind every alcove and tapestry he passed. When he turned the corner to the third-floor staircase, he spotted a pair of Ravenclaws. Just who he was hoping to see.

“Michael, wait up,” he called, going up the stairs toward Michael Corner and Terry Boot.

The boys stopped as soon as Ernie reached them. “What’s up?” Michael asked.

“You’re still dating Ginny Weasley, right?”

Michael’s eyebrow cocked. “What’s it matter to you?“

“What’s the deal with her brother and Hermione Granger?”

“It’s not like we spend our time together talking about her brother’s love life.”

“So,” Ernie prodded further, “Ginny hasn’t said anything about their flirting during…” he looked over his shoulder. “–Er practice?”

“I’m not there to watch everyone else’s business,” Michael snapped. “I’m there to learn,” he added in a lowered voice.

“It did seem like Granger did hold his hand for a little longer than necessary when helping him up,” interjected Terry. “That’s hardly worth a fuss.”

“You could ask Lavender or Parvati,” shrugged Michael. “Do you think Hermione would have said anything to them?”

“I doubt it,” moaned Terry, appearing to be almost as interested in the rumors as Ernie. “Hermione doesn’t exactly seem like the ‘braiding each other’s hair and chatting’ type.”

Ernie considered their suggestions. “Hannah asked them before. No luck.” He turned to Michael. “His sister-”

“Yeah, I’ll ask Ginny what she knows.” He looked over Ernie’s shoulder suddenly and hitched his bag up his shoulder as Draco Malfoy and his usual posse came around the corner. “Better get out of here before he starts making trouble,” he added in a low tone.

They turned and walked away from each other before Malfoy could reach them. “No unauthorized meetings are allowed, Macmillan,” he sneered. “Ten points from Hufflepuff.”

Ernie scowled at the Slytherin gang and continued down the stairs. Making rude hand gestures when he was out of sight.

At the entrance to the Great Hall, Ernie found Hannah and Susan skipping toward him from the direction of the library, mischief in their eyes.

“Do you have any idea why Amanda Comstock would be in an empty classroom with Dexter Woodworth after curfew?”

“No way!”

“Yes way!”

–

Justin jogged past a group of third-year Ravenclaw students waiting outside the Arithmancy classroom.

“Sally-Anne, wait up!” Just who he wanted to see. As he caught up to her, he leaned to whisper, “What’s this I’m hearing about Comstock and Woodworth?” He matched pace with her as they made their way to double transfiguration.

“What is it that you’re hearing?”

“Something about the Prefects’ bathroom…”

”No, that was Cedric and Cho last year.”

“Oh right,” Justin waved for her to go on. “A classroom?”

“Yes, a classroom.” Sally-Anne nodded. “I heard that Miss Maisy Blackmon was out on patrol when she heard rustling in Binn’s classroom.”

“NO!” Justin’s shout startled a pair of first-year Gryffindors walking past. “Old Binnsey’s room? I wouldn’t consider that the most romantic place.”

“He’s got a thing for troll riots, I guess,” Sally-Anne shrugged. “Anyway,” she continued, ”Maisy goes into the room expecting to find Peeves-”

“Were they making that much of a ruckus?”

Sally-Anne only looked at him before continuing. “She goes in and sees the two of them all tangled up against the professor’s desk.”

“Here, I thought she liked girls.”

“She likes hot people,” Sally-Anne shrugged. “Hey, what’s the news on Ron and Hermione?”

“The rumor mill is all over the place.”

“You think Granger is still seeing Victor Krum?”

“She’d be crazy not to.” Justin jumped to tap his hands against a discolored brick above his head. “He is internationally famous, after all.”

“But we have no solid evidence?”

“I’m convinced they’re dating.”

“Granger and Weasley?” He had her full attention now. Justin had to pull her robe sleeve to help her avoid walking right through a passing ghost. “You have evidence to back up that claim?”

“Ron and Hermione have been seen in each other’s company more than Potter’s for the last few weeks.”

“They were doing an awful lot of laughing during dinner yesterday,” Sally-Anne added.

“The flirting really is getting out of hand.”

“That’s couple behavior, if I’ve ever seen it,” said Sally-Anne, shaking her head and smiling. “I wonder when it happened.“

“I’ll let you know when I find out,” sighed Justin as they reached McGonagall’s classroom door. “Troll riots, you say?”

–

Professor Binns droned on in front of them as Ernie spent his time scribbling on a scrap piece of parchment.

Don’t look now. What’s Weasley doing?

Hannah stretched in her seat, stealing a peek behind her. The Gryffindors were seated at the bench a few yards away. Hermione sat scribbling furiously in her notes, giving Binns her undivided attention. Harry was asleep with his face in his hands and his glasses propped on top of his head. Ron had his eyes closed and his head resting–

Oh Merlin! How long has he been resting on her shoulder?

A WHILE!

Does she even notice?

She was looking at him with total heart-eyes earlier.

Ernie drew a stick person with giant hearts for eyes and big curls coming from her head.

Hannah nudged her elbow into Susan’s side, jolting her out of the sleepy trance into which she was slipping. At her confused look, she passed the parchment in front of her and signaled for Justin’s attention as well. They both sat and read the note intently before they both found themselves with sudden cricks in their necks that simply needed to be stretched out immediately.

Susan gasped but covered it up with a cough. Justin stole the paper and his quill.

So they are dating!! We need to figure out when

A head on her shoulder does not equal dating. I do that to Hannah all the time.

Ernie craned his head to read the note sitting between Hannah and Susan. He shot them a look that meant one thing: ‘You’ve got to be kidding me’. Taking the paper, he scrawled.

You didn’t see the heart-eyes. If they’re not dating now, they will by the end of term. I guarantee it!!

He tossed the paper back to the group with a look of pride. The bell rang, rousing everyone in class from their stupor. Ernie watched as Ron jolted up from Hermione’s arm, both blushing and refusing to look at each other.

–

Prefect patrol duties were really cutting into their study schedule. Hannah complained to Ernie about their course load as they aimlessly roamed the halls for the last hour before curfew.

“She’s a sadist,” she cried. “Who assigns a four-foot assignment on Shield Charms without including class practice time?”

“Maybe Harry will be able to go over it with us again on Monday.” Ernie pulled his magic coin from his pocket to confirm the date. “I need to get Justin back for that Stunner he sent to my face.”

“I’m going to ask Hermione if I can look at her notes for Arithmancy. Mine just don’t feel complete enough. And you know how strict Professor Vector can be about thoroughness. I don’t know how I’m going to finish those problems for her by class tomorrow.”

Hannah talked non-stop for three floors while Ernie halfheartedly looked inside every classroom they passed.

“Shh,” he said to Hannah before calling into the long, unused classroom. “It’s almost curfew; you better get back to your Common Room.”

A mop of red hair appeared from behind the teacher’s desk, pulling up a very embarrassed-looking girl.

“Weasley, please,” Ernie started. “I’m much too tired to deal with this tonight.”

“Not a problem at all,, my friend,” laughed Fred (or was it George?) as he reached into his pocket and pulled out two small packages. “How about we part ways here and pretend it never happened?”

He put the bags of Weasley Wizard Wheezes products into Ernie and Hannah’s hands before pulling an apologizing Angelina Johnson down the hall toward the Gryffindor Common Room.

“No detours!” Hannah called after them, but they were already gone.

“That has got to stop happening,” said Hannah as she pocketed her bribe. “I’m going to be able to start my own joke shop with everything hiding in my trunk.”

“We could just report them.” Ernie shrugged. “But where’s the fun in that?”

Continuing their patrol, they peered into classrooms and behind statues periodically but found nothing but cobwebs and dust.

“We should head back to the Common Room,” Hannah yawned. “Double Potions with Slytherin first thing tomorrow.”

Ernie yawned his agreement and opened the door for the second-floor corridor. Before she could get through the door behind him, he froze. At the bottom of the stairs were Ron and Hermione, on their own patrol. Hermione was laughing animatedly at the impression Ron was making of Umbridge, their fingers interlocked.

Hannah shut the door, and the two leaped an arm’s length apart, realizing they were not alone. “Good evening, Ernie. Evening Hannah,“ Hermione said nervously, her cheeks pink. Ron nodded but refused to make eye contact with either of them.

"Hello, Hermione,” Hannah said, her voice a little too polite. “Good evening, Ron.”

“Evening,” Ron said as he and Hermione began ascending the stairs.

Ernie seemed to have found his legs again and continued to descend, passing them in the middle. Hannah followed close behind, her mind buzzing but her face remaining as neutral as possible.

As both parties met on the staircase, Ron cleared his throat and spoke in a low tone. “Er Harry hasn’t sent the notice yet, but -er- it moved to Thursday after dinner.”

“Right,” Ernie said, nodding. “Thanks.” He gave a weak thumbs up before he and Hannah passed through the space the Gryffindor students had created between each other.

The moment they were around the corner and out of earshot, Hannah turned to Ernie, her eyes alight. ‘Oh my god’ they mouthed to each other before hurrying toward the ground floor.

Ernie scratched his knuckle from pounding on the barrel blocking the Hufflepuff Common Room, but he gave it no notice as he and Hannah went running up to the table where Susan and Justin sat, absorbed in their homework.

“Oh my gods, you will never guess who we just saw!”

#submission

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inky-duchess · 2 years

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Fantasy Guide to Regents and Regencies

A Regency is a period of time where another party rules of behalf of a monarch who is either too young, too ill or absent. A Regency can either be the monarch's own choice or a decision made for them on their behalf by a third part, usually government. Either way, a Regent is selected to act as temporary Head of State whilst the monarch is incapable of ruling.

Who can be a Regent?

A Regent is an important office, even though its a temporary one. Regencies of child monarchs generally either go to the Consort, though there are all sorts of reasons why this can be blocked. Sometimes governments and kingdoms are uncomfortable with foreign consorts with uncertain allegiances ruling the kingdom or sometimes the government just doesn't approve on the basis that they doubt the Consort's skill set. Other candidates for Regencies are nearly always family members such as uncles, aunts, cousins and even children of the monarch (especially if they are absent from the country or ill). But a Regent doesn't have to be a royal. They could just be a noble elected to the position (Sir William Marshall) or even one that siezes power for themselves (Richard of York) or even a council made up of Regents, headed by a Lord Protector.

Who makes a Regent?

As I mentioned before, monarchs can appoint the Regent that will replace them in certain cases. For instance, a monarch would chose the Regent if they were voluntarily leaving the country or they might designate a chosen Regent on their deathbed or just in case of emergency. But they wouldn't chose a Regent if they were ruled mentally incompetent. In those cases, the government would chose.

The Powers and Responsibilities of a Regent

A Regent is the acting head of state but they are not the monarch. They do not have the right to wear crowns or have a coronation and are not granted the hall pass of divine right. A Regent is referred to as their own title, say for example Duke of X, Regent of Y or Prince Regent. They are merely there to fill in for the monarch. A Regent would meet with the government, make decisions with the approval by government and sign offical documents. In cases of an absent monarch, a Regent may need the approval of the monarch themselves. Regents of child monarchs would usually include their charges in the country's running, either as spectator or student. A Regent, being temporary Head of State, would also have the responsibility of ensuring a natural cessation of their power to their monarch when their term is over. Some regents are better than others at handing over power.

Notable Regents of History

George IV, Richard III, Anne of Austria, Katheryn Parr, Richard of York, Margaret of York, Katherine of Aragon, Catherine de Medici, Louise of Savoy, Phillippe duc de Orléans, Edward Seymour Duke of Somerset, Sir William Marshall, John Duke of Bedford, Humphrey Duke of Gloucestershire, John Dudley Duke of Northumberland.

#Fantasy Guide to Regents and Regencies #Regent #Royal guide #Fantasy Guide #Writing guide #writers resources #writing #writeblr #writing resources #writing reference #writing advice #writer #writer's problems #spilled words #writer's life #Writer's reference #Reference #nanowrimo

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swan-codes · 8 months

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Thinking of switching careers to IT? ☕

This guide discusses the learning options: bootcamps, schools, or self-learning

Note: this guide may be a bit lengthy, so I suggest taking your time to read it thoroughly. Just a heads up, I haven't included specific program names or detailed IT roles info here. Instead, the focus is on guiding you to make a well-informed decision for your career transition. So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and dive into the guide at your own pace ☕

So which option is good? Any of those options is fine. It's all about what works the best for you. Consider this: your ultimate goal is to secure a job once you've successfully completed your IT studies, right? From the perspective of hiring managers and recruiters, what they care about is your resume, experience, and skills. They will assess whether you are capable of fulfilling the job requirements. Your attitude and personality can also play a role in their decision-making process, which is a topic we can explore another time.

When it comes to switching careers, acquiring new skills is a logical step. Now, the question is: what is your preferred learning style? In the STEM field (specifically IT, in this case), it is so important to be able to consume information effectively as you study IT!

If you find that you learn best with a structured schedule, where you don't have to rely solely on self-discipline, then enrolling in a bootcamp or school is recommended. Note: Even during your studies at a bootcamp or school, you still will need to engage in self-teaching. It's a *MUST*, good practice to maintain this mindset even after you secure an IT job, especially if it involves a lot of developing or deploying. [ Bootcamps & Schools Options ]

There are a few factors to consider: - Costs Generally, bootcamps are more affordable than traditional schools. However, both options may offer scholarships, so it's worth exploring those opportunities. Look into third-party scholarships that may be available. If you have a disability and reside in the US, it would be beneficial to speak with a counselor from Vocational Rehabilitation. Non-profit organizations can also provide support and assistance to individuals interested in returning to education. Studying abroad is another option worth considering. Personally, I chose to study abroad in the UK due to the significantly more affordable tuition fees compared to the US, and because I had a desire to obtain a master's degree in another country. - Instructors' teaching styles It's important to note that not all IT instructors excel at effectively communicating with new IT students. To avoid encountering this issue, do some detective work. Find out who will be teaching you and check out their lectures. Don't hesitate to ask the program manager if you can meet your potential lecturer (ideally before making a decision). Prepare a list of questions to ask your potential lecturer during the meeting. Pay attention to how they explain concepts. If their technical jargon is difficult to understand, they may not be the right instructor for you. Remember, this doesn't reflect your intelligence. It's a matter of their self-awareness. I strongly advise against choosing this kind of an instructor from my experience. - Lessons There are numerous IT job types available, and in a bootcamp, you may not have the opportunity to explore all of them. Bootcamps often focus on specialized programs, sometimes even covering less popular technologies (yes, this is definitely a concern). So you should research IT fields, and once, you've decided on a specific field, take the time to research job titles and similar roles on LinkedIn. Pay close attention to job descriptions and requirements. Create a list of the high-demand skills for those positions. This will help you narrow down your choices when selecting a bootcamp program or school. Look for programs that teach the skills you need based on your research. [ Self-Teaching Option ] You are your own trainer, and you get to design your own personalized learning experience. This option is great if you do not have the luxury to pay out of pocket for a program. It is absolutely not looked down upon by employers. In fact, it is considered one of the essential job skills that employers typically look for in a job applicant. To make a solid entry into the IT field, I highly recommend obtaining certifications and undertaking project-based learning. It's important to focus on certifications and projects that align with the specific roles you aspire to have. Take the time to explore different fields within IT to discover your interests, and then compile a list of relevant learning materials or bookmark tutorial videos. Please be sure to verify that the resources you choose are up to date and not outdated, as IT is always evolving. "Wait, but what about a degree?" This approach is really just aimed at fulfilling the job requirements. Many IT candidates have successfully passed interviews without possessing a degree. Many hiring managers prioritize your ability to learn and apply the required skills. Showcasing your projects on your resume or demonstrating your skills during a technical interview holds more significance. Even if you don't possess the exact skills they're seeking, emphasizing your transferable skills will show interviewers that you are capable of learning and adapting.

#coding #programming #career change #career switch #codeblr #studyblr #education #bootcamp #bootcamps #school #schools #IT career #IT jobs #if you have questions #don't be hesitant to ask me!#swan

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avoidantrecovery · 1 month

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my thoughts on rejection sensitivity, fawning, criticism and how i want to get better about them

these are just some notes/me thinking aloud/me writing notes to myself and putting things into perspective/connecting some dots. maybe others can relate.

✦ abandonment/rejection based trauma leads to... ✦ needing to be accepted and liked by any- and everyone (fawning) to restore safety/ensure feeling safe which leads to... ✦ due to being stuck in trauma response/having a trauma rewired brain: strong sensitivity and fear of any kind of rejection or criticism, which leads to... ✦ responsibility for your emotions and self-perceptions are outsourced (for the lack of a better word) to (random) third persons (who are not even aware of this). which leads to... ✦ difficulty to interact and communicate with people without crushing hypervigilance, anxiety, numbing, strong emotional reactions... leads to... ✦ random third parties and their reaction to us (be it via facial expressions, tone, conversation, action or inaction, etc...) now makes or breaks our emotional state ✦ a positive reaction gives us (if we're lucky) positive emotions (dopamine, safety, elation) a negative reaction however leads to the exact opposite -> we are at the whims of random people ✦ inevitable negative feedback then leads to severe negative emotions including anxiety, shame, self-devaluing and self-abuse ✦ this becomes a cycle of wanting others to reflect that "we are good" back to us in places where it's not relevant and will lead to negative feedback and rejection, isolating and then doing it all over again.

what to do instead?

✸ realize that this is a cycle that is happening and why (trauma) ✸ be mindful and have self-compassion for your past (fawning) behaviour to avoid shame and self-hate (you were stuck in a trauma response, not doing it on purpose) ✸ realize that minute reactions of all people doesn't have to matter to you. this is something you have to practise day in day out, because your brain is stuck in this mode. ✸ it's fucked up that we often have to deal with people who are outright hostile and having a negative reaction to that is normal and healthy. however, everyone who has ever felt the overwhelming crushing sensation of rejection sensitivity knows there is a difference between that and "a healthy negative reaction". ✸ we shouldn't have to internalize and emotionally tattoo every minute thing someone else says or does to us, esp. if they are hostile ✸ it shouldn't control us for the rest of the day, week, month or even longer ✸ there is nothing we can do to control others behaviour (even by prostrating and fawning to the max), it is not even our responsibility, but we can try to better manage and process our own emotions to ensure we are not constantly dysregulated. ✸ use "the levels method" to sort to what degree someone's feedback matters to you ✸ realize that you will probably fall back into old behaviour patterns because "nerves that fire together, wire together". meaning it is through repetition that we form new habits and it's by reducing "firing" old behaviour patterns that we are able to eventually let them go.

the levels method

✸ level 1: random strangers on the street: 0.5/5 ✸ level 2: random people you see daily (neighbors, barista, etc...): 1/5 ✸ level 3: work/school people 2/5 (only professional/educational stuff matters, do not take things personal or internalize professional critic as personal critic, i know this is hard and often unfair) ✸level 4: acquaintances and friends: 3/5 ✸ level 5: family and good friends: 4/5 ✸ level 6: your own selected loved ones 5/5

☞ i just came up with this little method that i will try to use to weigh my emotions and how seriously i have to take people's reactions to me. again, it's not easy and it's something that has to be practised to get right. however, the idea is to get away from processing the random reaction of a stranger, or even of a co-worker or client, with the same intensity and seriousness of selected loved one whose feedback i obviously care about a lot.

what if i don't have loved ones?

✸ this is one thing that has been bothering me ✸ i think for some people the "outsourcing" of emotions onto other people and that whole cycle, is intensified by not having any selected loved ones due to isolation etc... ✸ it's likely that you will, perhaps without being aware of it, begin to look for emotional feedback (to feel safe due to trauma brain) from people who fall within level 1-level 3 or 4. ✸ people need social contact and if there is nobody else around we might look to have our emotional needs met by people who aren't even aware or responsible for that ✸ i am currently in this situation and all i can do for now, until i do find new selected loved ones, is to be aware when i do it and steer away from it when it happens. ✸ if you are in contact with family or friends, this can be a better outlet as random strangers or classmates/co-workers

(not medical advice, just thinking out loud)

#avpd recovery #avoidant personality disorder #avoidant #avoidance #rejection sensitivity #rejection #ostracism #rejection sensitive dysphoria #criticism #fawning #cptsd fawn

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arabriddler · 7 months

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Ozzie’s got lots of tricks ( pun intended ) up his sleeves. He has a large selection of skills, he’s average at most of them, but still, he could do little tricks. This is caused by several things, first of all, He was raised poor in the narrows way up till his late teens. He never went to school, they couldn’t afford it, but often accompanied his mother on her various jobs, and when her mental and physical health grew too bad, he’d take on the weight of supporting the family on his own at a young age. Growing up like that forced him to learn skills like, cooking, lying, acting, lock-picking, killing, sewing… etc etc. he also gained knowledge about a various of topics because he often did his best to overhear conversation. Knowledge and information are valuable . He learned that early.

Another reason that sort of follows up on that is that, when he managed to introduce himself to Gotham high society, he was, well, ashamed of his past. He needed to impress his people, and his looks didn’t do much, nor his limps All he had is knowledge, if he knows enough, if he can act well enough, he can be just like every other gotham snob who’s parents paid their educational expanses only for them to attend parties and mingle, heck, even better. No one can know about how he grew up. It took him so much to get this high up. It took him too much to create this perfect clean respectable image of Oswald cobblepot.

The third reason is more of a … mental reason. He has ADHD, simple as that. He picks up interests randomly, stays up eating up books and learning all he could before getting bored or moving on. Clothes, Make-up, birds, insects, plants, Physics, cults, religions, etc etc… especially since his plans require lots of patience and waiting, this does help fill the time.

the thing about all these skills and knowledge he has is that they’re his greatest weapons. He can engage with anyone, the poor and the rich, the good and the bad, the healthy and the disturbed. He has connections all over, and is a force to be reckoned with.

#Oswald cobblepot #the penguin #nahlaverse #Bee’s art #rogues gallery #Batman

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liliumsabyss · 10 months

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In The Small Moments

Part 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5,

Kaz Brekker x Gn Reader

Summary: Moulin Rouge/Satine Inspired!Reader and Kaz go undercover at a ball only for things to go terribly wrong.

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48845809/chapters/123220936

Word Count: 5.16K

Tw: Angst and Fluff, Swearing, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Sex Work, No Smut, Mentions of Death, Forced Marriage, Manipulation, PTSD, reader called handsome but could be interrupted as in the old timey gender neutral way, maybe OOC Kaz Brekker, and Pekka Rollins

A/n: This is inspired by Moulin Rouge the musical both adaptations and the place. I imagine the characters to be more like 25 in this.

Early in the morning of Ketterdam fog hung over the streets, while most towns would be asleep, Ketterdam never slept. There was always laughing from a bar, hushed whispers from allies, the drunken shouts of yells, screams of a not so lucky passerbye, honey sweet calls from brothels, that was the barrel, that was the life you knew. You were awake at your desk running through the plans that a certain man had given you. The certain man who was feared by many, he had created numerous enemies yet remained in power, that man being the bastard of the Barrel, Kaz Brekker. And unfortunately for you the man your heart belonged to. You hadn’t quite been a dregger or a crow more like a person of select skills for even selector hire or in other words you sometimes applied these skills but only for Kaz Brekker. Not to say you didn’t get along with the crows, in fact you got along amazingly. They quite enjoyed your “refreshing” presence as they stated, the best term to explain your relation would be friends of some sort.

Otherwise you worked as a bartender and occasional waiter when it got crowded in the Crow Club. It wasn't anything much, however you always noticed a few extra gold coins that appeared in your pocket on payday. Many days after the Crow Club closed for the night or at that point what had been very early morning, it lay empty, Kaz’s companions off somewhere leaving the two of you in amicable silence as he slowly sipped on the strongest liquor on the shelf while you did whatever cleaning up needed to be done, many of times conversations would eventually spur. And then he found out about your particular skill set slowly once on a busy night you were waiting tables when a customer was getting a little too handsy with you after you repeatedly told him to stop Kaz was about to intervene only to see you grab the customers arm twisting it behind his body and smashing his head into the hard wooden edge of the gambling table breaking his nose. Most of the crowd at the table turned stunned, you quickly dropped the stuff off, gave a quick bow in apologies as you left, Kaz stood slightly impressed. Another time you had forgotten your key to open the club before the sun had even come up, you squatted down so you were eye level with the lock, quickly you rummaged through the pockets of your heavy woollen coat finding a random thin hooped earring you picked up on the street and a paperclip you quickly unbent the paperclip and pulled the thin hool straight as well little did you know Kaz was approaching when he spotted you crouched at the door however he saw you pull out the two random objects to his own confusion as you pushed them into the locks fiddling with the tumblers till you heard a click, you stood up and to the others shock opened the door, and then walked in. The third time he was talking to Jesper after the crow club had closed for the night and not bothering to care whether you were there. Jesper was discussing how the Landercrofts, a very wealthy family that were the head of one of the gangs, were having their annual ball in which the crows were planning to rob their vault during the party. Jesper had gotten his hands on false invitations and was stating how the dress code was black and white when you spoke up stating that the dress code this year was red, the black and white dress code was a rumour to set apart who had gotten invited and who was sneaking in. When Kaz and Jesper inquired into where you had gotten that information you explained how your connections made you quite knowledgeable of the barrel and many drunks let things slip. And the fourth time, was when you were carrying a glass from a table once the club was closed when you tripped the glass shattering at your feet Kaz who was by you when you tripped at the same time as you quickly belt down to pick up the glass out of an instinct. You both immediately reached for the largest piece when your hand brushed against his glove and he flinched only he really didn't. It was a slight twinge but less than usual so he tried it out again prying the glass out of your hands and once again he was a little nerved but better than he had with pretty much anyone else. So Kaz could only see one thing to do with your talents and would hire you on the occasion he saw fit which was becoming more and more often. Tonight was the ball that the crows had prepared for months for and the one in which you provided consistent information for, Kaz only saw it fit as you would be one of the ones to directly infiltrate the ball.

Hours passed by as you ran through the plans over and over again before you knew it, it was evening just a few hours before the ball. You frantically got ready scolding yourself for being so careless with watching the time. You grabbed the blood red outfit that laid on your bed for the past day delivered personally by Kaz. The brunette male had also delivered the red mask that was decorated in black markings intricately painted and sculpted; mixed with the outfit there was no way that Kaz paid for it just for you for this one event, someone had to owe him a debt for this. You quickly got yourself ready like you had used to, it had been a long time since you wore anything like this and you were glad for it. A sharp knock came from your door as you scrambled stuffing any possible tools you’d need into various hidden pockets. Opening the old door which let out an unpleasant creak revealed Kaz in a black and red suit to match your outfit.

“ Good your ready we need to go” Kaz let out curtly which was not what he wanted to say yet it was all that he could let out in the cold streets of Ketterdam where anyone could hear anything and take things the wrong way but for what he was going to say they surely would have took it the correct way. You gave a swift nod, looking behind him to see a black horse drawn carriage, Nina and Jesper at the driver's seat waiting impatiently for you two to climb into the back.

“ I thought Inej and Jesper were also supposed to be going in with us?” You questioned, confused at Inej’s lack of presence and Jesper at the reins in a not ball ready outfit.

“ They will be going in just not with, now if we want to be on time we must move.” Kaz responded as he turned walking away climbing into the back of the carriage you followed in tow closing the door as you entered.

Sitting on the plush cushions you ran your hand against the seat and the wooden sill that elegantly framed the window, you breathed in the stale air of the carriage the feeling, the smell had all been so familiar to all those days and nights it was honestly shocking you could forget it for this long. Kaz eyed you silently, watching your face twinge in familiarity however that look was soon gone in your eyes and an eerie tint of hatred flickered. For the rest of the ride you just peered out the window mindlessly. The lights from the mansion shimmered as you approached in your carriage many other carriages also appeared to be dropping guests off. The carriage slowly stopped to a stuttering halt pausing as the carriage rocked slightly giving away that either Jesper or Nina had gotten off their seats. The carriage door swung open, Nina holding it wide open. You put the mask on quickly looking over to Kaz who had done the same, his mask being black decorated with red instead, the inverse of yours. The man swiftly climbed out of the carriage waiting with his hand outreached ready to help you out of it as the carriage hobbled. Nina eyed the two of you in surprise as you took his hand carefully stepping down the wobbling carriage, lights poured carefully out of the manor barley illuminating the pathways that led to the large doors that were cracked and every so often would open letting light flood onto the party goers entering the masquerade. Kaz left his elbow out as you tucked your arm into it carefully so as not to look suspicious to other attendees. The brunette male held the invitations in his opposite hand, grasping them tightly. Stiffly walking up to the doors large men who had large swords sheathed in leather at their sides; ready to be pulled out against any threat to the people of the manor. The guards had displeased faces as they stood tall, intimidating, snatching invitations out of the hands of masked figures. Shortly You and Kaz stood before a guard who stood with her arms crossed and the corner of her lips pulled into a tight frown. Kaz stared at her equal in expression for a long couple of seconds before swiftly putting his arm up the two pale beige invitations decorated in gold swirls with hints of red trickled on them the women to the invitations inspecting them carefully front and back before taking out a wooden plank the split into two three quarters of the way she wedged one of the invitations between the the slit in the plank harshly squeezing it together giving it back to Kaz’s outstretched hand revealing it to have a red seal marking the paper, the guard did the same to the other begrudgingly knocking on the large painted metal and wood doors causing them to slowly open. You and the stiff brunette behind you slipped through into the manor. Laughter and music filled the air swirling around the stuffy air of the large ballroom, gowns splaying out from being turned by their suit and gown clad partners. Standing at the top of the marble stairs looking down upon the people down below, the shoulder that pressed against you that was tensed loosened slightly with a relieved breath. Turning your head to look at Kaz he slanted his head to you in return giving a sharp nod before you both took equally swift steps toward the stairs before descending into the madness of the ballroom. Kaz took a step away from the stairs and away from you his red gloved hand offering his hand with his other arm plastered behind him only then did you noticed the absence of his cane, you gave him a confused look to which he took a step to you whispering below his breath.

“ We cannot afford to look suspicious.” Kaz said lowly pulling up the leg of his suit revealing a slight gleam of metal which appeared to be a brace only letting it fall quickly before taking a step back to once again offer his hand. People whirled around behind him but you could only see him under the warm chandelier light that illuminated the marble floor and sparkling cloth.

“ Of course” You replied fondly to both the gesture and his comment, gently taking his hand taking several steps out onto the floor before turning toward each other. The song that had been playing had finished partners taking a step back bowing or curtsying to the other. The music picked up again with a medium pace waltz, guests flocking toward each other for the dance.

“ Do you want to lead or shall I?” The brunette in front of you commented fidgeting stiffly once again.

“ Eh doesn’t matter to me, dealer's choice.” You shrugged in response figuring that while Kaz offered he probably only knew one of those options if even considering his aversion toward contact. Kaz took a step closer lifting your hand which still lightly remained in his to his shoulders which he set on his ridged boney shoulder his hand reached for your side placing it gently and you grabbed his other hand raising it up holding it slightly below your shoulder as well as out. Kaz moved his foot toward yours, yours moving back in response to the waltzing causing a game of call and response in your movements. Your partner moved his head closer to the side of yours leaning in his mouth by your ear, you could feel a hot breath tickling your ear making a slight tinge of fluster.

“ We need to distract the Landercrofts, Alinda Landercroft and Jerad Landercoft are over by there by the fourth column from the window,” Kaz whispered carefully stopping midway to turn you a subtle gesture you understood, getting a flash of the pale couple in their 50’s, Alinda Landercoft wore a deep red chiffon and miniver gown that was adorned with ruffles while Jerad Landercroft wore a black suit with a red suit vest that matched the same shade of red of his wife, a large top hat stood on his head causing his short grey hair to sprawl out.

“ Their son Devlin is over there succumbing to his seduction activities.” The brunette gestured with his head to the blonde haired male around your age. He was surrounded by a couple of people of all genders who were fawning over him, him just giving a lazy suggestive smile to each of them. He wore a loose black top that cut low into his chest, a red vest tightened to his figure and black dress pants that were tight around his waist leaving little to the imagination a seemingly common theme with his outfit.

“ Once this song ends we should make discussion with Alinda Landercroft and her husband, their son seems busy enough.” Kaz said vaguely referring to his flirting where now a short haired person in a dress that had a very low bust and corset that pushed their chest up, rubbed said chest against his arm as you groaned in disgust.

And as the song ended the two of you briskly walked toward the older-ish couple who were laughing as you approached. You stopped before the couple you and Kaz bowing your heads slightly as the Landercroft’s looked at you in curiosity.

“ Hello Mr. Landercroft, Mrs. Landercroft,-” Kaz started as you internally sighed at his bluntness that was going to get you guys caught before you decided to interrupt him.

“ Mr Landercroft, Mrs Landercroft! Truly this gala is lovely, every year you never fail to impress me or my husband!” You exclaim in delight to them touching Kaz’s arm affectionately at the term “husband” as the brunette give you a wild slightly disturbed look at your behaviour to which you just gave him a slight unnoticeable jab to the ribs.

“ Oh well thank you my dear! But may I be reminded of who you are? My memory isn't as sharp as it used to be.” Mrs. Landercroft said jokingly as you all(except for Kaz) let out a slight chuckle at her statement.

“ Of course don’t worry I get it, I am (F/n) Casspian and this is my wonderful husband Kazmere Casspian. Between you and me he’s not much of a talker unless it comes down to business.” You tell them fake whispering the last part to Mrs. Landercroft in which she responded with a hearty laugh as Kaz rolled his eyes in response but slightly thankful you’d be handling the small talk especially with how much of a natural you were at this.

“ Same with mine dear!” She laughed out as her husband grumbled beside her as you joined her laughter faking it.

“ Now what did you say you did again?” She “asked” or in the world of the rich she was demanding you explain how you got into the party as people these rich rarely personally invite people more so often leaving it to trusted members of the household to invite people of popularity, opportunity, or influence.

“ The Casspians own that metal company. I believe I recently heard about it from an associate, I hear that it's becoming very influential.” Mr. Landercroft spoke up in a very “knowledgeable” tone which would have been knowledgeable except for the fact that none of it was true nor was it planted information just the older man trying to show off. Both you and and the brunette next to you turned your heads slightly making eye contact with a look of confusion at what bullshit this man was spewing to which you both just shrugged your shoulders slightly turning your attention back to the couple.

“ Yes and we were hoping to establish some sort of arrangement between our company and yours.” The brunette says to the elderly couple to which both looked shocked to see him speaking however you internally smiled smug at the distraction this provided the others who should be close to the vault in the eastern wing of the manor.

“ That would be great, son!” Mr. Landercroft said walking over clapping Kaz on the back was quite hard as Kaz flinched away from the contact, inching closer to you pressing tightly against your arm as you felt his arm trembling slightly against yours. You carefully snaked your hand towards his tightly clenched fist nudging it with your pinky in a silent ask. His hand slacked open in response as your hand slid into his carefully rubbing circles onto the back of his hand as his shaking slowly started to decrease as the older man in front of you ran his mouth off about his company.

“ Well son why don’t we all head to my office to hash out the details.” Mr. Landercroft stated hearty as he laughed, putting out his arm for his wife. You looked as Kaz grimacing when the others were not looking, pointing your head towards Devlin who was still wrapped up “entertaining” the people around him. The brunette nodded in understanding at your subtle gesture.

“ Mr Landercroft I would love to join however I must leave my husband up to this, an old acquaintance of mine appears to be here and I’ve never been good at business.” You speak in fake regret towards the couple furrowing your eyebrows together and letting out a tight lipped smile. The couple nodded in understanding of your statement. You turned to Kaz one of your hands still holding his slightly trembling one, you carefully grabbed his other hand with your free one looking at him for any resistance to which you received none you gently raised both his towards each other raising them to your mouth as you bowed your head maintaining eye contact with him lightly brushing your lips against his gloved hands the thick cotton rough under your lips as you placed a soft kiss on them. Kaz's eyes only widened slightly as the corners of his lips threatened to twitch into a warm small smile so faintly you may not have even realised nothing like his manic and greedy smile but a smile that held whatever pieces of his heart had been left. And so you let him go which caused a faint tug at your own heart as you watched him leave with the couple, your eyes trailing him as much as you could before he completely disappeared through the crowd. You turned back to the people whirling in endless mindless circles in lavish gowns and suits. This is the life they know and for most of them all they’ve known but it was also a life you knew, you knew it in the twisted behind closed doors way. And so you skimmed the crowd following it all the way to the blonde man who leaned in close to one of the people that was crowded around him a inch distance from their face with a smirk on his. You made up your mind and decided you would distract him yourself to avoid suspicion of just standing in the open unmoving, unamused. So you walk up to the male swaying your hips slightly, an innocent smile that holds a slight suggestiveness undertone to it cringing internally. The blonde's eyes turned wide for a second before his entire face turned into a smirk as he stopped leaning against the pillar standing straight up, his arms still crossed.

“ Well hello,” Devlin stated seductively(?), more like an attempt to be seductive to which you internally groaned with disgust. But regardless of how cringe worthy it felt you went along with it looking way in fake flusteredness.

“ Hello,” You replied meekly, crying internally at how awful the situation was. The blonde just continued to smirk as he took a step towards you.

“ Well what caused you to wander over here love.” The man replied teasingly and unfortunately for him horribly unattractive. And so your fake waltz began with your “subtle flirting” and his prowling responses. Many of the people who had been fawning over him had walked away with their noses high in the air, scoffing, at your presence it certainly hadn’t been the first time you experienced this but hopefully would be the last. And so your little dance began with slight touches, suggestive innocent sentences, and so on, all part of your careful scheme of distraction. And oh how you dreaded it weaving a web around the playboy who only expected you to be an innocent party-goer who had been entranced by him not a thief who took the role upon themself to protect the man and friends they had come to adore.

“ Well darling how about we head to somewhere more private.” The blonde said his voice dropping as he pressed his mouth against your ear, you having to clench your fingernails into your palm to resist the urge to push him away. But of course you had a role to play and so you’d play it. Your lips turned into a slight pout as you spoke up.

“ Well could we have one dance…first?” You trailed off hugging his arm, an obnoxious move but one that charmed him and most likely only his lips turned into a gentle smile.

“ Why of course.” He responded lightly as he reached his out for yours ready for you to grasp it. You of course did as the two of you walked out into the centre which had just concluded the previous dance, some couples fled to the side, some stayed and some joined. All on the floor stayed perfectly still as they were in their spots until the musicians started to play. It was a medium paced dance and one you knew well. You sighed in relief at the fact you knew the dance and one that you knew well but not only that the dance was one in which you switched partners for a large portion of it in the middle meaning you could get a break from Devlin, what a relief that would be. Your whirling and steps began him sweeping you through the other couples narrowly missing one another, Devlin holding you to him as tight as he possibly could. You on the other hand were mentally counting down the seconds till you would get to switch partners. Then finally what felt like forever you spun away only to be caught by what you’d hoped was anyone better than him. You were wrong. The man in front of you had his hair gelled matching his thick beard and moustache, his eyes stared coldly into you, a smirk upon his lips. You knew the man, you knew him very well and you hated him, you hated him for yourself, for the people he’s hurt, and for Kaz. But there he was in front of you smirking your dance partner, any sliver of hope you’d had. He didn't recognize you went out the window when you came face to face with him.

“ Rollins.” You spat at him, your face seething with anger.

“ (Y/n)” He responded back with that stupid greedy smirk on his face causing you to roll your eyes.

“ You are looking as great as ever, tell me have you taken a visit back yet since your little runaway stunt.” He commented, the words rolling off his tongue in a fake syrupy sweetness. You gritted your teeth together as you stared at his cold gaze with one equally of coldness, possibly even more.

“ Do not even speak of that to me.” You hissed at him hating how one of his hands rested on your waist and the other touching your hand, but most of all you hated how you had to continue this charade with the man, the man that the person you cared for had despised.

“ Oh you mean the Red Windmill or Ryker Knox because both are missing their shining diamond terribly,” He started your face twisting briefly into horror before going back to being enraged “ You know nobody would have ever thought you would have run away from the man much less to the bastard of the barrel.”

“ What are you talking about?” You state sharply trying to feign ignorance in masking your terror that you might’ve put a larger target on Kaz’s back.

“ Oh you know what I’m talking about, I know you quite fancy that bastard but what would dear old Ryker say about that…” He trailed off getting closer, his voice dropping lowly.

“ If you dare do something-” You began to threaten before he clicked his tongue interrupting you.

“ Well for starters I could order my men to go capture them right now don’t think I don’t know about your little heist,” he interrupted now finally so close he was whispering in your ear as you shuddered in fear at the fact you knew why all the guards looked vaguely familiar they had been Rollins in disguise of course they had, “ or you could listen to me and your dear bastard and his group of misfits will go free unharmed, accomplishing their heist, and you won’t be dragged back to Knox.”

“ What do you want?” You said out of your clenched teeth to him terrified at his threat. You couldn’t let them be caught if you could’ve done something to avoid it and you certainly wouldn't, no you couldn’t allow yourself to be dragged back to that awful awful man. You would allow yourself to take your very last breath before you’d ever go back to him willingly or unwilling. Pekka only smirked in response from the little you had seen of him pulling away from your ear for a slight moment before leaning back.

“ To leave with me. You are to leave with me and work for me,” He started as you raised your eyebrow at why he’d possibly want you, you could offer up a decent set of skills but none he needed unless it had to do with your prior “occupation” in which you’d rather die however if thats what would save your friends and your livelihood so be it. But then the man continued, “ And when you do so, when the bastard comes for you, you will tell him no, you will reject the boy and you will break his heart.”

“ Is there anything else?” You let out monotonous, staring ahead blankly ignoring the man's disgustingly hot breath against your ear before pulling away doing the turn the dance required only to slam back into him. You hadn’t questioned his condition, you knew Kaz wouldn’t come for you, and you couldn’t even blame him for it how could you, it wasn’t going to break his heart that the bartender who had some extra abilities would end up going with Pekka Rollins his enemy sure it would piss him off in terms of loyalty but break his heart no, no it wouldn’t. But of course you couldn’t fathom how much it actually would, how would you when the only time the man would let his heart bleed for you was in the moments you’d blink and for those split milliseconds his gaze would soften when it wandered to you, or when the early hours of the morning when even the crows of Ketterdam slept but he’d be the only person up his mind drifting to you so quietly, or in crowded rooms when he could pick out your voice out , out of the many drinking it in memorising it ever so thoroughly, or maybe it was when he’d watch you clean the club late at night after closing and he‘d get to indulge at letting your name roll off his tongue not having to fear the world hearing, so yes how would you know when he loved you in the quiet moments, moments of time no one in the world could detect in his terror of someone finding out. And yet he failed.

“ All you will need to do is sit there and look handsome, with the possibility of obtaining information.” He responded back his voice slick with victory his words slithering like a snake into your ear but it wasn’t words of temptation he whispered it was venom it was the venom of the life you could not live it was the venom that would kill your livelihood, kill your soul, and ultimately kill you. But it wasn’t a choice it was a sword and a vial of poison it was death for you either way one would be slow and painful, guilt, shame, and hatred would be one or the other where only you would suffer completely it would take a bit of time to kick in but only you would be harmed without having to worry about the others. And so your choice was made you acting as your own executioner.

“ I will do it, but only if you agree that they will go successfully with the heist and you will not do anything to them directly or indirectly.” You said firmly making your final stand refusing to let any loopholes get through for your effort.

“ Fine, I agree. Let us go.” he said, grabbing your wrist harshly, twisting it a little bit as he dragged you to the door as you attempted to keep looking back a few times desperately as a final last hope that one of the crows may be there but of course this was reality they were not. And so you were dragged out into the dark night by the monster who was to cage you once again. The stars and sky of Ketterdam had never looked as cold and dull as they did tonight but you attempted to ignored them as you got into the dark carriage not caring to look around just staring blankly into the void of the night, the lights of the manor disappearing behind you and the weight of what you had just agreed to started consuming you into the void of the night.

#x gn reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #x male reader #male reader #gay #kaz brekker x reader #Kaz x gn reader #Kaz Brekker x gn reader #Kaz x reader #Kaz x male reader #Kaz brekker x male reader #fluff #angst #six of crows #shadow and bone #liliumsabyss<3

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