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plus-size-reader · 3 years

Text

Devastated

Ivar the Boneless x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2794 words

Warnings: Reader cannot have children. It is covered in very little detail but content may be triggering to some. Read with caution darlings.

Summary: The reader finds out that she will never bear children, and knows that she must tell her husband, eventually.

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You were devastated.

In your entire life, you were sure that you’d never been given such bad news.

When you went to visit the Seer, the last thing you expected him to tell you about your future was that you would never be able to have children, and yet, that was just what had happened.

You begged the mighty one to reconsider, to tell you something different, but there was nothing to be done.

The reality was that you would never bear children of your own, not in all your life.

You couldn’t believe it.

Child rearing was incredibly important to you, and your people in general. You should have been able to bear strong, strapping sons to carry on their father’s name and daughters who could hold their own against any warrior.

It was your birthright as a woman, and a Princess of Kattegat, but the seer was very clear. There were no young ones in your future, at least, not any that you would carry on your own as your mother had with you.

It wasn’t going to happen.

By all accounts, you were heartbroken.

Since you were a young child, you had dreamed of becoming a mother to brave children who could bring just as much glory to Kattegat as you and all the others before you had. You owed it to the Gods, but evidently, they had a different plan.

You weren’t to be a mother.

You considered this, and everything else the seer had said as you walked down the path toward the great hall, your feet heavy beneath you. Perhaps, if you made enough offerings to Freya, something would change.

Though, you knew it would never work.

The seer had never been wrong, in all the years you’d lived. If he was ever going to be wrong, you doubted it would be over this in any case.

You couldn’t rightly ignore the facts.

Your body wasn’t fit to carry children, and if your womb couldn't support life, there was nothing you could have ever hoped to do to change that. The most you could do was accept what you knew to be true.

Which was much easier in theory than in practice.

Not only did you have to come to terms with this new reality, but you also had to share the unfortunate news with your husband, who would certainly not take it well.

Every man wanted sons, men whom they could be proud to leave their name to when they were finally called to Valhalla. The idea that you were taking that away from Ivar made you rethink everything.

Would he want to be married to you anymore when he found out? Your marriage was relatively new, and you couldn't blame him if this was something that he simply couldn’t overlook and even worse, what if he was angry?

Ivar wasn’t exactly a joy to be around when he was angry, and you fear what he may do if he blamed you for something like this.

Was it your fault?

Gods, maybe it was.

You weren’t aware that you couldn’t have children before this morning so it wasn’t as if you could have been expected to warn him before your marriage, but now that you knew, was it possible you had done something wrong.

It was really starting to feel as though you were being punished for something, but for what, you were unsure.

Surely you’d done something wrong. Why else would the Gods see fit to take your children away from you before you’d even had a chance to consider having them?

It felt like a cruel joke, one that you could never escape.

The more you thought about it, the more distracted you’d become, and before long, you found yourself entering the mouth of the great hall, where Ivar was already waiting for you.

Of course he was.

Your husband was kind to you, most of the time, when his temper didn’t have a handle on his emotions. You had never found yourself worried about speaking to him, or telling him anything before, but today was different.

Today, you found yourself more willing to go into the woods to fight a bear as Bjorn had done, rather than tell Ivar of the news you’d gotten from the seer on your visit this morning.

It was simply too much to put on one person.

“Well hello my wife, how are you?” Ivar hummed, letting his eyes fall on you in the doorway once he’d decided he was bored of watching Ubbe and Hvitserk try to best one another in an arm wrestle.

They had been going at it for the last hour or so, and it had gotten tedious shortly after that.

Hearing about what you had gotten into today seemed to interest him that much more, especially because you had taken it upon yourself to get out of bed and leave before he’d even opened his eyes.

You didn’t speak at first, instead opting to admire the man you loved in a silent contemplation of how he was feeling today.

If he was already in a sour mood, you weren’t going to dare bring something like this up.

Still, compared to how Ivar acted on his worst days, he seemed rather content today. If nothing else, he was bored, which you couldn’t really fault him for. His mother had more or less kept him here his entire life.

He didn’t voyage away from Kattegat and he never was one for frivolous activities to pass the time.

In any case, if there was ever going to be a good opportunity to have such a sensitive conversation with him, it was now. At least, you had a better chance of him staying calm, rather than getting angry.

“I’m just fine, Ivar, how are you?” you hummed, sitting down beside him as gingerly as you could without disturbing him, though you were more in your head than you’d ever been.

You knew that you should pay attention as he told you about what he’d gotten up to today, not missing the subtle comments he made about you leaving him to wake up on his own, but you couldn’t focus on anything more than the sinking in your gut.

Deep down, you knew that he would blame you.

That it was bad enough that you weren’t as fair or petite as his brother’s wives, and that his father had arranged your marriage, but now, you wouldn't even be able to bear his children for him.

You had been rather fortunate to avoid Ivar’s wrath before now, though you’d seen it pretty frequently, and you could feel that luck running out. You knew that this would upset him, that he would be angry.

You just weren’t sure what you could do about that.

It would be foolish to believe that you could keep this from him forever.

Eventually, he was bound to put the pieces together when you couldn’t get pregnant, and even if he didn’t, the seer was sure to mention it to him at some point.

You could only keep this from him for so long, and if he found out you knew this long before he did, he would punish you for sure.

So, as much as it made your stomach turn, you knew that you only really had one choice.

“What did you do today that was so important?” he questioned, all but snapping in your face to get your attention once he’d finished speaking, only to find you as far away as ever.

Clearly, your head was a million miles away, and while that normally would have frustrated Ivar, he found himself strangely concerned for your wellbeing. Usually, when he spoke, you hung on every word.

Today, it was as if he wasn’t even here.

“I went to visit the seer, about the strange way I’ve been feeling” you shrugged, hoping that wouldn’t bring on any other questions from him.

This was your chance.

All you had to do was tell him.

Though, when you raised your eyes to meet his, you found that same knot in your belly twisted up even more. There was no way that you could tell him, he would never understand.

Still, you knew that at some point, he was sure to pull it out of you. He always did, no matter what it was you tried to keep away.

“Well, what did he tell you?” came his second question, the one you’d been anticipating, and trying to avoid, this entire time.

You did your best not to let the heavy sigh building in your chest escape as you tried to figure out how to word what you had to say, your eyes falling on both Hvitserk and Ubbe across the room.

It was bad enough that you were about to tell Ivar the worst news you’d ever gotten, but now, you had to do it with them within earshot? It was perfect. The entire Ragnarsson clan could hate you at once.

Not that them being here was a completely bad thing.

At least with his brothers in the room, there was less of a chance that Ivar could get so angry with you.

Perhaps they would be a good buffer for you.

In any case, you knew that you had reached the end of your very minimal stalling. If you waited any longer, the more you were sure that Ivar’s peaceful mood and ticking patience would fade.

The longer you waited, the harder it would be.

“There is nothing outrightly wrong” you allowed, doing your best to make him feel better about that, at the very least. It wasn’t a lie, just as much as it wasn’t exactly the truth. You weren’t dying, or seriously ill.

You just weren’t as you thought you were this morning.

“Then why were you away for so long? Surely the seer was able to tell you something” he groaned, bothered that you had been away for so many hours without so much as a warning to him.

After all, you had been missing from his side since before he opened his eyes, something he had never really taken kindly to.

You nodded, sorry that your clear absence had upset him so much before you finally let that sigh fall from your lips.

“Yes, he did, but the news is rather difficult to accept,” you warned, forcing some words out when you found the truth unable to leave your tongue. With every second that passed, you could just feel his patience leaving him.

However, even with all the blatant stalling you were doing, Ivar remained as calm as he could.

It was clear to him that no matter what you said, there was something you were keeping from him. The only question Ivar really had was why?

In all the time that you had been married, he was always kind to you. He took care of you as any husband should and though his temper was a bit harsh at times, he was always careful to be fair and gentle when he spoke to you.

All in all, Ivar thought himself to be a good husband but perhaps he was wrong.

He couldn’t imagine anything that could be so bad that you were so timid to tell him.

“Y/N, what did the seer tell you?” he prompted, shocking you a bit with the use of your name. Ivar never used your name, not if he could help it, always instead opting for ‘wife’ or ‘darling’ if he really wanted something.

It was never Y/N with him.

“I cannot have children, Ivar. Not ever” you finally broke, desperately wishing that you hadn’t said anything to begin with.

You should have been able to do this, and you both knew it.

Still, once you’d finally built up the courage to look, the upset that you expected from Ivar wasn’t anywhere to be seen on his face.

Instead, he wore an expression that was almost confused.

That was what you were so afraid to tell him?

You had come in here after a day of absence, as closed off and cagey as he’d ever seen you in all the time that you’d known him and that was what it was about? He just couldn’t believe that was the thing that you hesitated to share.

Of all the things it could have been, he would have thought that among the first that you could talk with him about if need be.

Not that you could read all of that from his silence and pensive expression.

From where you were sitting, you were even further convinced that he was about to tell you that he couldn’t be married to someone that couldn’t give him children, and that you would be on your own once again.

News that you couldn’t have been more unwilling to hear.

While your marriage to Ivar had been his mother’s idea in the beginning, you had begun to really care for him in the time you’d been married. Separating from him was sure to break your heart.

No matter the circumstances.

“And you’re upset by that?” he hummed, after a few seconds of silence between the two of you, a casual question that seemed so out of place in such a serious, tense conversation.

It was so strange.

He truly seemed as if he didn’t understand what the big deal was.

Though, you were talking to a man who had never truly been sure children were in his future to begin with. Not to mention the fact that even if he knew he was physically able, Ivar didn’t know how he felt about fathering offspring.

After all, if they had to live life anything like he did, he wasn’t sure it was worth it.

So, the idea that you couldn’t bear his children didn’t bother Ivar as much as you’d been expecting. Something that would have made you feel better, had you not been heartbroken over it.

You wanted to have children, all your life, so now knowing that you couldn’t, it felt as if something you’d never even had, had been stolen from you.

“Of course I’m upset, Ivar. Are you not?” you sighed, shocked at how this conversation had so drastically changed from what you’d been expecting. All this time, you thought your husband would be the most affected by this.

All the while, he remained almost entirely unphased by the news that you were barren.

It was almost insulting.

“Did you really expect to have children when we married, anyway?” he asked, his question giving you pause for a moment.

You supposed you’d never really thought about it before.

He had a point.

There was never any real guarantee that you were going to be a mother with him in any case, a fact that hadn’t even been important enough to cross your mind when you were getting married.

“I never thought much about it” you allowed, your eyes once again sinking to the floor as you thought about everything that had somehow changed, in the matter of a few hours.

It was hard not to feel as if your body had betrayed your trust, taking away something you had always thought to be promised.

You were upset, and rightfully so.

Ivar may not have ever considered himself a father, in any capacity, but that didn’t mean that your upset was any less real. He’d had his entire life to come to terms with this, whereas you’d only known for a day.

Of course it bothered you, and even if he didn’t really get why you were allowing something like this to get to you so much, he could recognize that you were hurting.

...and what kind of husband would he be if he left his grieving wife to her own devices.

“I understand that you are distressed by the seer’s news, but I promise you, it changes nothing between us” Ivar assured, his fingers brushing over the top of your hand as he held it between you.

It wasn’t the most comforting gesture outside of this moment, a simple hand holding as it were, but coming from Ivar, it made all the difference in the world.

As desperate as you were to change the state of your body, and as much as you wished it wasn’t the way it was, you knew that nothing could be done.

All you could do now was move on as best you could, and perhaps, sometime down the line, the gods may gift you with a child that you could care for.

Even if such a child wasn’t of Ivar’s and your own.

At least, until then, you had Ivar by your side.

586 notes · View notes

mellowswriting · 3 years

Note

I saw that requests are open! would it be possible for you to write a follow up to Second Chances with javi and reader? Maybe you have another kid and this time javi is able to be there for you throughout the whole pregnancy, and get to experience the first kick, you giving birth, etc (I am a sucker for domestic!javi if you can't tell haha) I think it would be really cute!!

From the Beginning

pairing || Javier Peña x afab!Reader

summary || Javier gets to experience the chaotic excitement of welcoming a new baby to the family.

word count || 6,466

warnings || kid fic, pregnant reader, non-graphic childbirth, some spiciness but no smut, dad!Javi being adorable

a/n || I can’t even express how much I love writing about the boys as dads, especially Javier! I really hope you all enjoy this, it was so very much fun to write.

Main Masterlist | Join the taglist!

Early spring mornings always had a special quality about them. The air was never too hot, pleasantly warm with a hint of a cool breeze that still lingered from winter’s sharp grip. Plants were beginning to bloom, the trees regaining their bright green foliage that ruffled in a symphony with every pass of the wind. Spring was the bringer of warmth after the ice and snow, the nurturer that coaxed seeds to sprout and flourish, the guide for new life and hope.

Ironic, then, that those very qualities you had grown to love were the ones causing you so much inner turmoil that you couldn’t even enjoy the gorgeous morning happening around you. You hadn’t even realized what was happening at first. Mother nature hadn’t exactly gifted you with a cycle that could be easily followed and predicted. Instead you had the supreme pleasure of having to carry around menstrual products everywhere you went and having to replace your underwear far more often than usual. So when you went two months without the waves of cramps and frustration of your period, it wasn’t all that remarkable.

It was when you were doing some last minute grocery shopping the night before that you realized something was off. Well, more off than usual. The sight of the shelves of tampons made your stomach bottom out with realization. You must’ve made quite a sight as you stood in that aisle with a cart half full of food, just staring at tampons with dread. Two boxes of pregnancy tests got tossed in with the various other items in your cart and you hoped that Javier was too tired from work to insist he help you put away the groceries.

For once, the universe appeared to be on your side. Your husband was sitting on the floor with Elianna, a spread of coloring books and crayons scattered on the living room carpet, and he actually listened to you when you waved him off to carry the bags in yourself. The tests were tucked away in the bathroom behind your tampons - ironic, yes, but it was the one place Javier really wouldn’t be poking around.

Honestly, a part of you felt bad for not telling Javier right away. He had more than proven himself as a great father and husband in the nearly two years since he returned to your life. Those irrational little fears of him leaving you and little Ellie had been crushed into nothing in the wake of the role he readily took on with his daughter, but this was different. Maybe it was pretty naive of you to not have that conversation with him, but it was something you thought you still had time for.

The plus sign on the pregnancy tests told you the time for that conversation was now, apparently. You were grateful for the timing of your little realization. Saturday mornings saw the standing trend of your sister whisking Ellie away for some ‘auntie and niece time’, and you really didn’t want her to feel the tension you were carrying. She was such a perceptive little girl that had an eye for everything.

Javier was still asleep. You usually slept in with him on the weekends, but you were restless to find out if your period was just pulling a fast one on you or if you actually were pregnant. Now you had four positive tests sitting in front of you and a sleeping husband who you couldn’t decide whether or not to wake up. Luckily, you ended up not having to make that choice since two sharp raps of his knuckles against the bathroom door snapped you out of your trance.

The door opened a millisecond after you snatched up the tests and hid them behind your back, not so unlike Ellie when she was hiding a treat she wasn’t supposed to have yet. The difference was that you didn’t know if this would be a treat to Javier. He was still half asleep, his thin pajama pants slug low on his hips and his eyes squinted against the bathroom light.

“G’morning,” He grunted as he moved to shuffle past you. “Move over, I gotta piss.”

You were rooted to the spot, though, your brain floundering to gain control of your muscles. “Uhm…”

“What’s wrong?” Javier slowly perked up through his sleepy haze at the realization that you looked downright terrified. He put his hand on your bicep and squeezed slightly. “Is Ellie okay?”

“What? No, yeah, Ellie’s fine. She’s with Amelia.” You spluttered, cringing at your inability to function.

“Then why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” Javi pressed. There really wasn’t any hiding things from him. Ellie must get that sharp eye of hers from her father. “What are you holding behind your back?”

You tried to swallow down the thickness that enveloped your throat to form some sort of words, literally anything to convey to him what the hell was going on, but your body was seized with fear. So you held out the tests wordlessly. His eyebrows furrowed as he took the bundle of tests from your hand, staring at them with a split second’s confusion before it dawned on him. “This…? You…?”

“Yeah.” You whispered. The worry in your voice must’ve been obvious because Javier was on you in a second flat, his arms crowding you into his chest with a crushing strength.

“You’re pregnant?” Javier croaked into your neck and the dam of emotion in your chest crumbled. His voice was full of excited disbelief, and relief crashed over you.

“Yeah, I am.” You said with a tearful chuckle, winding your arms around him to burrow yourself even further into his chest. “I know we never really talked about having another kid but… is this something you want, Javi?”

“Fuck, this is ironic.” Javier laughed quietly and when you looked up at him, he avoided your eyes with an almost bashful look. “I was gonna ask you today if you ever thought about it. Do you have any idea how many times I went over it in my head?”

You couldn’t help it - you cracked up laughing. The whole thing was almost ridiculous - the both of you worrying despite wanting the exact same thing. Tears of relief and laughter soaked into his t-shirt as you both broke into chaotic laughter, fingers clutching at each other’s shirts as you tried to catch your breath.

“So, uh… are we doing this?” Javier sounded nervous, his hands rubbing up and down your back as if to reassure himself. “You really wanna have a baby with me? Again?”

“Yeah.” Your voice was choked with a tense mix of emotions, so you cleared your throat and tried again. “Yeah, I do.”

“I can’t… fuck, I can’t believe you - you’d… thank you.” He babbled, nearly unintelligible in his scramble to convey how fucking grateful he was, but you knew. It wasn’t the first time you had heard the desperate need to spit words he couldn’t really find, the words that matched the swell of emotions in his chest that still wasn’t used to voicing. “Fuck, Ellie’s gonna be such a good big sister.”

That choked you up more than you expected. She really would be, you knew that for a fact, but it was a dream you had boxed up and shoved on a shelf with all your other unrealistic dreams for your future. Never in your life did you let yourself really think you could have the whole package deal - the loving (albeit gruff) husband, the big house, the sound of little feet chasing each other through the halls…

“Wait, how long have you been…? Or do we have to see a doctor first? Oh shit, we have to find a doctor for you, what the fuck are they called..? A fucking... obstetrician!” Javi rambled in a mix of nerves and excitement, breaking from your embrace to pace the length of the bathroom. “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help, because -”

“Javi, breathe!” You calmed him with both hands out to stop his walking and braced your hands on his shoulders to rub at him firmly. “We have plenty of time, okay? Let me go make some coffee for you and we can sit down and make a plan. First, didn’t you have to go to the bathroom?”

“Oh… yeah.”

----------

Javier couldn’t stop bouncing his knee. It was a subconscious thing, something he stopped the moment he realized but soon found it moving of its own volition all over again. He really was trying not to let his nerves show even though he knew that you could tell. It was all so new to him, which wouldn’t be a problem if the reminder didn’t gut him every goddamn time. He couldn’t imagine how alone you must have felt the first time around when you were pregnant with Elianna, especially in these cold, sterile doctors offices.

His grip tightened on your hand. The feeling of your fingertips pressed against the top of his hand kept him grounded, helped him remind himself that there was no going back and changing everything else that happened. All he could do was be there this time around, be the best version of himself that he could be for you and his kid - well, kids now. Plural. The excitement was almost enough to drown away the guilt. Javi really could barely believe that he was getting the privilege of experiencing this with you.

“I’ve seen files on drug lords shorter than all that.” Javier nodded at the pile of forms and paperwork you held in your lap and you laughed brightly. He preened a little at the sound. It was something he could never get enough of, that laugh of yours. “I love you.”

You looked up at him, the pen in your hand stopping its constant scratching for the first time in forever, and gave him a lopsided smile. “I love you, too.”

There was no way he wasn’t going to kiss you after that adorable little display. Your cheek felt soft against his palm and the little sigh of relief you huffed against him was addictive. Just knowing that he was an anchor for you made Javier feel so incredibly loved and important and all he wanted to do was imbue you with that same sense of security. He held you close, his hand slipping back to the back of your neck to keep you right where he wanted you, and gave you those soft little kisses that never failed to make you melt.

“Mrs. Peña?” A nurse called out and he had no choice but to let you go with one last peck against your lips. He followed you and the nurse into the exam room, nerves and excitement soaring even higher in his chest.

It was kind of fascinating, watching you answer the nurse’s barrage of questions. Questions about your medical history, how many pregnancies you’ve had, all about your menstrual cycle. The two of you went back and forth for at least fifteen minutes, tossing questions and answers back and forth like a tennis match. The nurse left with the promise of the doctor being in momentarily for an ultrasound.

“Come hold my hand?” You asked, and how could he deny such a sweet request?

“Of course,” He pulled a chair from across the room and settled himself next to the exam table, both of his hands wrapping around one of yours as he brought it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. “So what happens now?”

“The doctor will give me an ultrasound. She’ll probably want to run some blood tests, too.” You sighed, obviously uncomfortable at the thought of needles.

“I’ll hold your hand then, too.” Javier promised.

“It’ll be good practice for you, ‘cause once I’m in labor I’ll probably break your hand.” You teased and yeah, broken fingers didn’t sound all that great but fuck, he was more than ready to let you do just that. Javier wanted to be your rock, wanted to support you through it all - especially since he couldn’t the first time.

Two quick knocks sounded against the door made Javier straighten up hastily. The doctor came in with a smile and a large machine wheeling in behind her. “Good morning, mom and dad! How’re we feeling?”

“All good here, Dr. Hall. A little nauseous, but still… good.” You gave Javier’s hand a little squeeze before letting go to unbutton your jeans and fold the waistband down, followed by pulling the hem of your shirt up. It was hard to believe that the beginning of an entire new life was right there between your hips.

“Good to hear!” Dr. Hall fiddled with the ultrasound machine for a moment before turning to you. “So today we’re going to take a look and find out how far along you are, make sure mom and baby both look healthy, okay?”

“Okay,” You and Javier said in unison, and he took your hand again, needing to feel you there with him.

The gel must’ve been cold based on the way you hissed slightly. Javier watched the screen as Dr. Hall trailed the wand over your belly, lips parting at the sight of the black and white image. It was hard to make out what exactly he was seeing at first, but the image shifted slightly and he could make out the tiniest, vague shape of the newest edition to his little family.

“It looks like you’re about ten weeks along.” Dr. Hall murmured without taking her eyes off of the screen. “Baby is about the size of a plum.”

Javier squeezed your hand lightly, the both of you sparing a glance at each other before staring back at the screen in wonder. The doctor pointed out the baby’s head and a little foot as she took her measurements, reassuring you both that everything looked perfect. He gave a rushed “yes, absolutely” when she asked if he wanted the ultrasound photos - there was a spot in his wallet that he had in mind for it already.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been in situations that left him shocked before. This was Javier Peña, after all. Life and career experiences had given him plenty of moments where his mind was completely washed blank with surprise, but never had it been such a good thing. There were so many times that the shock was accompanied by grief or anger, but excitement? Gratefulness? That was new to him, left him reeling the entire drive home, all throughout dinner. Something in the back of his mind nagged at him that he couldn’t be like this when Ellie got home the next day. She was smarter than he could’ve imagined any kid being at three years old and even though he agreed with your assertion that no one should know about your pregnancy for a few more weeks at least, Javier was certain his daughter would be able to needle it out of him.

Those expert interrogation skills must be hereditary.

It wasn’t until he was getting ready for bed that it really hit him how real it was, that you really were sitting in the bed you shared with him, pregnant with his baby and making plans for the usual Sunday brunch and park visit you all did every week. As he set his wallet on the nightstand, he couldn’t help but pull out the little ultrasound picture. He had a feeling he would be doing that a lot, especially when the new cadets were driving him crazy at work. It all swelled up in his chest, the appreciation and excitement and disbelief, because holy shit, how did he get so lucky? One finger traced the little image in his hand, and he couldn’t help but blurt out, “Thank you.”

The confused look you gave him made him flounder for the words.

“I just… I know everything was fucked up the first time around but I swear, it’s going to be different this time. I am not going anywhere.” Javier slid closer at the sight of the tears in your eyes, easily welcoming your arms around his neck as you practically drug yourself into his lap. He held you close to his chest, trying to instill the certainty and promise of it all. “God, fuck, and I thought I couldn’t get enough of you before…”

“Javi…” You croaked, laughing wetly into his neck.

“I’m serious! You’re gonna have to tell me to fuck off when you want space because I can’t keep my hands off you.” Javi teased, relief washing over him at your seeming acceptance of his promises. “And now like this, growing my baby… fuck, I am in this with you. Me and you and Ellie… and our little plum.”

That night, Javier fell asleep with his head on your shoulder, his face buried in your neck, and his hand tucked into the waistband of your sweatpants to cradle that precious space that held his newest child.

----------

Ellie couldn’t stop touting her new title to anyone who would listen.

“I’m a big sister!” She told the cashier at the grocery store, the other kids at the park and their moms for good measure, and even the mailman when they came by each morning. The brightness in her eyes when she said it made your heart flip in your chest. You had expected some sort of confusion or even for her to be upset at the idea of a new sibling, but she launched right into a story about how her friend from playgroup has a baby sister, and you knew that she would be just fine.

With your sixteenth week rapidly approaching, you couldn’t be more grateful that Ellie was excited for the new addition to the family. It was one less thing for you to worry about amidst the chaos of bringing a new person into the world. The fatigue was something you definitely didn’t miss about pregnancy - it washed over you without warning, left you nodding off wherever you sat. Thank god Javier was such a hands on father. He had no problem herding Ellie off into the backyard or off for a walk to let you get some much needed rest.

You hadn’t expected him to be such a hands on husband, though. Sure, you knew he was excited and you knew he already loved everything about your body, but he really wasn’t lying when he said pregnancy made him want you even more. Every night, Javi’s hands gravitated to your body to ease the kinks out of your muscles, to rub your feet until the aches went away, to cheekily offer you an orgasm if you were up for one. It made you feel cherished, something you sorely missed the first time you were pregnant.

“Thank you, Javi,” You groaned lowly as those strong hands of his worked at your lower back. He easily hitched your thigh up slightly to ease some of the pressure on the new swell to your belly. There was a slur in your voice when you said, “Feels so good.”

Javier chuckled behind you, moving on to rub your feet. “Be quiet, you don’t want to wake Ellie.”

“Did you ever see this being our life?” You murmured though your voice was muffled by the pillows you buried your head in. “Telling each other not to wake the kids, making bacon smiley faces for a toddler’s breakfast?”

“I didn’t think I’d actually get it, but I wished for it. Dreamt about how pretty you’d look all full of me.” Javi placed a teasing kiss to the inside of your thigh. “The real thing is so much better.”

You could only groan under his praise. His thumbs dug into the arch of your foot and rubbed in methodical circles, drawing another pleased groan from you that you muffled in your pillow. The pain slowly melted from your tired muscles under his thorough ministrations, leaving a pleasant warmth in his wake that made you all pliant and drowsy beneath him.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Javi asked as he rubbed his hands up your calves and you smiled. You knew exactly what he was gunning for.

You eased yourself onto your back and reached out for him with both arms, bringing him forward with grabby hands that he could never refuse. Javier settled between your thighs, a knowing smirk on his face, and leaned down to kiss you deeply. “‘M feeling good, Javi.”

“You know I love making my girl feel good,” Javi murmured as he kissed down your neck, one hand trailing back and forth over your hip and thigh lovingly. “Can I make you feel even better?”

“Please?” You asked breathily and your husband was more than happy to oblige. The loose tank top you wore was the first to go, followed quickly by your shorts and underwear.

Javier set about lavishing your neck and chest with affection, his touch more gentle than usual on your oversensitive breasts, and once again you were struck by the surrealness of it all. The fact that this had begun in Colombia all those years ago as two coworkers using sex for stress relief and had blossomed into this beautiful life you shared together was a thing of dreams. But there you were, with Javier Peña making love to you, quietly as to not wake your daughter and gently as to keep you and your baby safe and happy, and you could barely believe it.

“I love you,” You choked out through the tears that sprung into your eyes and Javi sat up to look at you with a concerned expression.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked, his eyes roaming all over to find the apparent source of your tears.

“Nothing’s wrong.” You tried to pull him back down to you but he didn’t budge, the concern unwavering.

“Then why are you crying?” Javier brushed a thumb under your eyes to wipe away the evidence of your strong burst of emotion.

“Because I love you,” You chuckled as you held his hand close to your cheek and pressed a kiss to the middle of his palm. “And I’m pregnant, so everything is a thousand times more intense and you don’t get to tease me for that.”

“I would never,” Javi muttered but the mischievous grin on his face betrayed him. “Let me make you feel better, baby,”

“I’m already better, Javi - oh,”

----------

Two o’clock in the morning was not an ideal time to wake up, especially since Javier knew that Ellie would be awake and full of energy by seven, but something felt off. Even in his unconscious state, he could feel the absence of you in bed and his mind nagged at him to get up and find you. The hardwood was cold beneath his feet as he wandered from the bedroom, finding the bathroom empty before he made his way down the stairs. You often would rest on the recliner in the living room when your back was bothering you particularly bad, especially since your center of gravity had so drastically changed the further along you got in your pregnancy - but you weren’t there either.

Before Javi could start really worrying, he heard the refrigerator open and found you peering into the illuminated fridge in search of… something. A pint of ice cream was already in your hand, a spoonful of it hanging from your lips as you browsed with a frustrated look on your face, and honestly… Javi loved how you looked. It was so domestic and sweet, the sight of you in your pajamas that barely covered your belly as you raided the kitchen.

Thirty-six weeks and four days. He could barely believe how much time had passed since he saw those positive tests. It felt like forever and the blink of an eye at the same time, and he was beyond excited to meet his newest little one.

“What are you looking for, sweetheart?” Javi asked after a moment of watching you helplessly search around.

The sheepish smile you gave him made his heart swell in his chest and he automatically opened his arms as you shuffled over to bury your face in his chest. “Your kid is driving me crazy with the cravings.”

Javier hugged you tightly, relishing in the way you relaxed against him. “Well, if they’re anything like me, they probably want those barbecue chips, then.”

It didn’t take long for him to get you herded back up to bed with the chips in hand and the sight of you sleepily munching away while burrowed in the blankets eased an almost innate need Javier had to see you safe and happy, all nice and taken care of in his bed. He climbed into bed once he was sure you didn’t need anything else, settling on his side with his head propped up against his hand to watch you despite his own sleepiness.

“Let your mama sleep, troublemaker.” He murmured to your belly as he rubbed gentle circles over the spots he could feel the nudges of his little one retaliating to their father’s stern words. “Need some lotion?”

“Hmmm, please?” You hummed.

Rubbing lotion into your skin was something Javi had taken a particular liking to. The first time he had seen you doing it yourself, he was quick to take over. That was the first time he felt his little one kick at his hands and he fell even more in love - something he hadn’t thought was possible. It was a good way to feel closer to you both, to his wife and the baby you were bringing into the world, and the way you dozed slightly as he helped you relax made him feel needed, like he was doing right by you. That’s all he ever wanted to do.

A nudge to the edge of his hand made Javier glance back down to where his hands were running all over your belly, but it was the sight of the baby rolling that made him do a double take. “Holy shit,” He whispered, hands frozen as he saw what had to be the imprint of a little foot or hand poke out before disappearing. “There really is a whole person in there.”

“You’re tellin’ me,” You grumbled, grimacing slightly at the feeling. “It’s aerobics hour, apparently.”

“That’s fucking crazy.” Javi tentatively resumed massaging the lotion into your skin. It was hard to fathom, the idea that your body was so capable of creating and nurturing a brand new life, and for the millionth time he found himself thanking the universe for letting him have this second chance.

----------

Gabriel Peña came early, quick, and with a sharp cry you were sure could be heard throughout the entire hospital. His little nose was scrunched up, his face all red from his wailing, hands curled into angry fists over his sudden eviction from the warmth and darkness he was accustomed to. It was a short labor, so very different from your first with Ellie for so many reasons but the biggest being the strong presence of Javier at your side. The moment the contractions began at the crisp hour of six a.m., he was alert and full of nervous excitement.

True to his word, Javier let you clutch onto him through it all - every contraction, every push, every angered grumble you threw his way for getting you pregnant in the first place. That sharp mind of his kept up under the pressure. He spoonfed you ice chips and let you use him for support as you rocked your way through particularly bad contractions.

There were tears in Javier’s eyes as he carefully set his hand on his son’s head, carefully musing the shock of dark, wispy hair on his head. You leaned your head against Javi’s shoulder, exhaustion, relief, and happiness warring with each other after hours of labor. You felt his lips press against your temple before he sniffled and whispered, “Thank you.”

Javier stayed by Gabriel’s side the entire time the doctors checked him over and cleaned him up, per your instructions, and he was the one to return your son to your arms. It was the most careful you had ever seen him, his movements slow and deliberate, eyes on the baby’s adorable, chubby face.

“Seven pounds, nine ounces,” Javi murmured as he drug a chair as close to your bedside as possible and settled in, his hand resting on your thigh. A disgruntled whine came from the baby wriggling in your arms and you smiled, knowing he was hungry and could probably smell the milk your body had been preparing to make for his arrival. You pulled the gown down to expose your breast, propping your arm with a pillow to better support him, and adjusted his latch to settle in.

“Nice latch, mama,” One of the nurses said as she finished settling the blankets around your feet.

“Not my first time at this rodeo.” You chuckled quietly. It had been a while since Ellie weaned but you still remembered the struggle of figuring out how to get a newborn to latch properly when you had no idea what you were doing. You set your hand over Javi’s, smiling at him when he blinked sleepily up at you. Neither of you had gotten much rest before Gabriel decided to make his appearance into the world. “Can you hand me some water, honey?”

“Of course,” Javi perked up with the small task you gave him. There wasn’t much he could do at this point, but you wanted him to feel involved, to feel like he was helping you, and even though his mere presence helped you relax, you knew he was an ‘action’ kind of man. He needed something to do to feel useful. He held the straw steady for you and everything, your sweet husband. “How’re you feeling?”

“Tired.” You answered honestly, leaning into his hand when he brushed stray hairs from your face.

“I know this wasn’t easy. I’m proud of you.” It was a simple statement but it hit you right in your chest. As excited as you were to have another baby, it was hard. Exhausting. He could see it all, how tired you were and how hard you were working just to carry on like normal through your pregnancy, and while he did everything he could to ease some of that burden, the plain acknowledgement of how hard you worked felt good.

“I love you so much.” You whispered, pulling his hand close to kiss his palm.

“I love you, too.” Javier leaned over the side of the bed and kissed you softly, careful not to jostle his son where he sleepily nursed against you. “How are our kids so damn cute?”

You huffed a laugh, which made Gabriel shift against you before settling back down, sighing suspiciously similar to his father. “It helps that their dad is incredibly good looking.”

“True,” Javi said, trying for that cocky tone you loved but you didn’t miss the pink tinge to the tips of his ears. Compliments always got him like that, all red-faced and adorable - though he would never admit it.

A short nap later and you had one very excited Ellie fidgeting in the chair next to your bed, impatiently waiting to meet her baby brother. Javier stood behind her, quietly reminding her to be careful as you helped keep the squirming newborn steady in her lap. Your heart damn near exploded when she began cooing at her brother and very gently touching his soft cheeks. She was enamored by him, asking so many questions that you and her father could barely keep up.

“Can we share my bed?” “No, he can’t sleep in your bed, baby. He has to sleep in a special bed in mommy and daddy’s room.”

“Does he get a special seat like me?” “Yep! Daddy’s putting his carseat in next to yours right now. You’ll get to talk to him the whole way home.”

“Is he gonna cry a lot?” “Yeah, he will. That’s how babies let people know they need something since they don’t have words like we do.”

“Can I share my crackers with him?” “Not yet! Right now, he only drinks milk.” “Milk? Like for cereal?” “Kind of, but it comes from your mommy.” “What?!” “You ate the same thing when you were a little baby, too.” “What?!”

The entire drive home was full of little Ellie chatting away at her baby brother, mostly about the stuffed animals she had at home that she promised to show him the moment they got home. There was a small smile on Javier’s face as he drove, his hand curled around yours on the center console. He practically radiated contentment and damn did it look good on him.

----------

For what felt like the millionth time, you woke before the sun had a chance to rise. Though this time, it was to the feeling of a full bladder rather than the sound of a hungry baby, so that could be counted as a small win at the very least. You tried to ignore the ache in your healing body as you stumbled your way to and from the bathroom, near silent in your movements even though you were half asleep. It was a well practiced dance, getting out and back into bed without waking your sleeping children.

But something was off. The sheets were cooler than usual, missing the fire-like heat that Javier radiated constantly. You sat up, blinking against the drowsiness and darkness to see your husband passed out on the rocking chair in the corner of the room with Gabriel curled up on his bare chest. Skin-to-skin contact was something Javier couldn’t get enough of. He told you how close it made him feel to his son and you couldn’t complain. It was a precious sight. Avoiding the creaky floorboards, you carefully covered Gabriel with a soft baby blanket and smoothed it down his back.

“S’wrong?” Javier mumbled, words slurred with sleep, his eyes barely cracking open. On instinct, his hands shifted over the little baby asleep on him to hold him closer, even more secure.

“Shh, nothing’s wrong.” You soothed as you gently tucked his curls back away from his forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

“M’kay.” And with that his eyes were closed, back to dozing like he was never interrupted in the first place. You were glad. Tomorrow was an early morning, and paired with all of the midnight feedings and diaper changes, you all could use some rest. So you laid back down, sleep dragging you back under swiftly.

Javier was practically bouncing with nerves just hours later, even though he was trying not to show it. It brought you back to that first appointment when you were pregnant, only this time he held a sleeping one-month old who he was trying not to wake up with his nervousness.

“I just want it to go well.” He grumbled when you asked if he was okay.

“It will.” You reassured him, rubbing circles into his knee. “They’re both perfectly healthy, the pediatrician will tell you that, too.”

You were right - then again, when weren’t you? Gabe was a healthy nine and a half pounds, strong heart and lungs, and good reflexes. Javier was hooked on the pediatrician’s every word, nodding along and giving you a relieved smile with each positive statement. And of course, Ellie’s rambunctiousness had the pediatrician and nurses completely captivated as she told them all about her preschool and the antics she got up to while they checked her over.

The pride on Javier’s face with every positive comment and reassurance that both of his kids were on track developmentally made your heart flip. You felt so beyond lucky to have this little family of yours, with two beautiful children and the man you always loved. It felt too good to be true sometimes, especially when Javi pulled you close for a tight hug and a kiss to the side of your head before he worked to get one wiggly Gabe back into his onesie.

One impromptu trip to the park later and you and Javier had two very tired kids on your hands. Ellie was already passed out by the time Javier pulled into the driveway but Gabe was quickly venturing into ‘overtired’ territory. He was grumpy, wriggling around in your arms like he couldn’t get comfortable, all the while giving little whines and grunts that threatened to turn into full on wailing. He didn’t want milk, he didn’t need a diaper change, he just wanted to sleep but was too frustrated to let a nap take him.

“Give ‘em here.” Javier offered and you freely handed him over. The postpartum fatigue was no joke, and even though it was lessening with each passing day, you were damn tired so you had no issue with letting your husband put the baby down for a nap. You curled up on the couch, not quite going to sleep but still letting your mind and body rest as you listened to Javi try to negotiate with Gabriel as if he were some sicario and not just a particularly stubborn baby.

“C’mon, little man. Just go to sleep. All of your problems if you went to sleep right now? Solved. Completely solved. Instead of crying you could just… go to sleep.” Javier whispered over the cooing and grunting of his son. “Oh, don’t give me that face, mister.”

You snorted a laugh - you knew exactly what face Gabe was pulling. His nose and eyebrows would scrunch up, lips pursed as he huffed angry breaths like a little baby bull. It was an exaggerated copy of the face Javier pulled anytime he was frustrated, which you found ridiculously adorable. Slowly, the grumpy grunts became more and more quiet until they disappeared completely, and a few moments later, Javier flopped down on the couch next to you with a sigh.

“Got him down.” Javi said as he pressed close to you, burying himself between the back of the couch and your body to press his face into your neck. A blanket of drowsiness must have settled over the entire house as both kids napped peacefully in their beds and you cuddled up to your husband in the living room. The both of you would doze until the sound of little feet on the hardwood or the sounds of a hungry baby woke you, and then it would be back on the grind of parenthood, but you knew… with Javier by your side, you could do it.

{Taglist}

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#javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena #javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier pena fanfiction #javier peña fanfiction #narcos

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scuttle-buttle · 3 years

Text

WC: 2261

Rated: M

Tags: angst, medical issues, pregnancy complications, hurt/comfort, anxiety, brief mentions of medical procedures but no gore, nothing is technically sad, fluff, papa laszloooo

A/N: honestly tho I am sorry. also i maybe cried a little writing this, which is a first. also also everybody is fine in this it's just emotional

Blame @hardlyinteresting

🧠

"Three weeks…. Three weeks little bean…" you mumble as you rub your protruding stomach after a particularly harsh kick to your ribs. The chair was a sweet relief to your ankles after a long day at work and doing some light chores around the house all afternoon. You had three weeks until you hit 39 weeks into your pregnancy. As much as you were anxious you were ready. Ready to not feel like a bloated whale. Ready to not have sore feet. But most of all, ready to hold your baby girl.

Laszlo had been trying to convince you to take it easy and start maternity leave early, but you resisted. The last thing you were about to do is nothing. Most first pregnancies went late anyway, you'd argued, so you didn't worry about it yet. I’m pregnant, not dying - give me another week, you'd told him.

What you didn't tell him was about the headaches. Or how sore your legs were. Or how absolutely exhausted you'd been feeling the last couple weeks. Whenever he would ask if you were alright or offer a foot rub you would just brush it off as third trimester woes. You didn't want to worry him.

You were sat in an armchair in the parlor, feet propped up, damp rag over your eyes. The droning from the tv had your nerves on edge. All you wanted to do was take some tylenol and feel better, but you had been knocking back more than was probably safe the last few days so you went without.

A sudden pain shoots through you causing the rag to fall onto your chest. “Ohh...ow? OW!” You sit up straighter as the ache persists; the dull throbbing in your upper abdomen unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Were you in labor early? Did she just kick in a bad spot? No no - surely the pain would’ve died down by now had that been the case. Unless? Can babies kick so hard they rupture something? Did my kid just bust my liver? Your thoughts run rampant as you wait, in vain, for the pain to go away. The pricking behind your eyes and in your temples only made it more hellish. Pressing your palm to the spot does nothing, nor do the breathing exercises you had been taught.

When five minutes have passed by without relief you make the choice to call out for your husband. “Laz?” No response. “Laszlo!” A beat passes; nothing. You swallow through your building nausea.

“I swear to fucking-” you growl as you snatch your phone from the end table to your left. You use all your concentration to dial his number.

It rings four times.

“Bärchen, why are you call-”

You don’t let him finish. “Something’s wrong.”

______

Head thrown back into the flat, starchy hospital pillow you groan in frustration. “permanent bedrest?” You scrub the hand not clutching your belly down your face.

The emergency room Obstetrician gives you a pitying look. “I’m afraid so - your blood pressure is high and we want to keep it under control to prevent outcomes such as pre-eclampsia. I recommend doing as little as absolutely possible; get rid of as many stressors as you can.” He flips through your chart. “You said you’ve been having headaches and fatigue for nearly two weeks? Why didn’t you come in sooner?”

Huffing, you tell him “I thought it was just part of the third trimester. Everyone always complains about how bad it is.” He hums in response.

“Well. I’m going to go take a final look at your labs, make sure everything else is fine before we discharge you. I’ll send in my Nurse Practitioner to give you the run down and anything else you’ll need to know. And should anything else like this happen again - get in here immediately.” He pats you awkwardly on the hand before nodding at Laszlo and leaving the room.

Laszlo.

Sparing a glance from the corner of your eye you see him looking towards his lap, his weaker hand cradled in the other. He’d been quiet since you admitted when your symptoms had first begun. Every single time he’d asked you how you were feeling you had lied to him. Granted, you didn’t technically know you were lying. But it makes little difference when you’re sitting in the ER. He had every reason to be upset.

“Laszlo honey,” you reach over to him. Slowly he takes your proferred hand and stands, coming to stop beside the bulky bed frame. His thumb caresses your wrist.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve examined the signs, kept a better eye on you.”

“Laz-”

“-No-”

“-I didn’t want to worry you, okay?-” Your voice breaks as you defend yourself.

“-I could’ve done something, maybe- I don't know!” His slightly raised voice startles you quiet. The pain in his eyes only makes you feel guiltier. He licks his lips. “I took the liberty of calling your mother. She will be here tomorrow afternoon and will be staying in the guest room as long as we need her.”

Now you look away, indignant. “I don’t need to be watched like I’m a child.” The tears behind your eyelids rush in; a lone drop trailing down your cheek as the embarrassment settles within your gut. You knew that at some point it was likely you would need her here. However you imagined it to be under happier circumstances. A deep inhale fails to calm your sobs. “I just- I don’t want to be a burden with all this.” Your tears flow freely now.

“My dear you could never be.” Laszlo sits on the edge of the bed. He rests his right palm above the swell of your child, his left cupping along the curve of your jaw. He tilts you to face him. “But the health of you and our girl is what is most crucial now. Let us take care of you. Please.”

A gentle kick underneath his palm from your daughter is answer enough.

__________

Two weeks. 14 days.

Lying in bed, sitting in the same spot for hours on end was actually going to be the death of you. You were sure of it.

Your mother truly has been a huge help since arriving. Laszlo wanted to start his paternity leave, but you insisted that he stay until you were closer to your due date. Which couldn’t come fast enough, you might add. Both Laszlo and your mother were prone to pestering you about some things, but at other times if you truly wanted to be alone they gave you your space. Now was one of those times. Laptop to your side, you watch another episode of Grey’s Anatomy. A knock sounds. You turn to see your husband standing in the doorway, the blood pressure monitor in arm.

He gives you a bright smile. “How are you two on this fine afternoon?”

“Cut it with the attitude, bucko. Let’s get this over with.” The words, while harsh, had little bite to them. His brow raises but he says nothing. You honestly felt bad that you’d been in a pretty foul mood since being discharged. On more than one occasion you’d said as much to Laszlo and your mother - they didn’t deserve your ire. Thankfully they understood why you were so frustrated.

You held the strap in place as he secured the velcro and started the machine. Buzzing filled the overall quiet room. Closed eyes you wait. Some days your results were higher than others. Unless you became higher than a certain threshold the doctor said you were safe to be home. At the sound of a beep Laszlo unhooks the cuff, reporting that your levels are within the acceptable range. When he goes to leave you alone you clutch at his sleeve. He waits as you peer up at him. “Stay?”

He never could say no to you.

______

Little bean’s ruthless treatment of your bladder had you up for the second time that night. You waddled to the bathroom to attend to your business and wash your hands. Glancing at the circles under your eyes in the mirror you sigh. “I love you baby bean but you’re giving me a run for my money here, kid,” you whisper as you rub your stomach. Three days, you remind yourself.

The floor creaks as you shuffle back to bed. Suddenly, an odd warm trickling sensation travels down your legs. “What the fuck?” Looking down around your bulging bump you find yourself standing in a small puddle, the glint of the bathroom night light reflecting off the surface. “Shit okay…ah Laszlo? Hey, I need you to wake up.”

He grumbles. With a roll of your eyes you walk over and shake him awake. “Hey- what-” he sits up instantly and blinks at you. “Is everything alright?”

“My water broke.”

He hops into action right away. Moving you to sit on the bed, he pulls out his cell phone to call your doctor. As he talks you watch him move around the room, the phone wedged between his ear and shoulder, as he collects your hospital supplies. You feel useless as you sit. Yet, you know that your priority needs to be keeping yourself calm and that moving around could exacerbate your condition.

He hangs up. Coming to stand in front of you he presses a kiss to your forehead; “I’ll go wake your mother. Don’t move, Liebling.”

As you sit you blow out a long breath. You look down at your bump. “Guess you decided you’re ready to go, huh kid?” The tip of your fingers brush along the side of your stomach. “I know we’re ready for you too. We’re going to love you so much, and your daddy? He’s gonna be the best, you’ll see.” Placing your palms flat she nudges you from within.

_____

The doctors decided that a c-section was the safest route. You both knew it was a possibility, but you had hoped that after weeks of bedrest that your blood pressure would balance out enough for a natural delivery. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. They monitored you for an hour before your contractions began, officially confirming you were in fact in active labor and dilating. After the fourth hour your blood pressure began to spike again. That’s when they decided to prep you for the procedure.

The operation went smoothly. The atmosphere of the surgical suite was tense with your nerves, but Laszlo’s calming words and his hand squeezing yours kept the anxiety from spilling over. You even found it in you to poke fun at how ridiculous he looked in the puffy blue elastic hair cap he wore.

When the first cries rang out you nearly tried to hop off the table to see your baby. The doctors worked quickly to ensure you were in proper condition while the infant was cleaned.

“Dad? Would you like to come and cut the cord?” one of the nurses calls out.

Laszlo looks back at them before turning to face you. He searches your eyes for a moment; “go,” you nod with a smile. You watch as he did what the nurses instructed as best you could, her soft wails echoing in the small room. He returns to you right after while they finish wrapping her up in a blanket.

“She’s beautiful my dear,” your professor confesses. He leans to give you a lingering kiss. “I’m so unbelievably proud of you.”

“I love you so much.”

“As I love you.”

The doctor interrupts your moment. “Would you like to hold your baby girl?” The question is directed at you, but you look over to your husband. The man you love more than life itself. He stares at the little bundle as if she’s the most incredible sight he’s ever laid eyes on. He can’t take his gaze off her. His irises sparkle with unshed tears as he looks on with wonder.

“Laz?” Finally he breaks away. “Hold your little girl - she’s been waiting to meet her Papa.”

Carefully the doctor shifts his hold on the babe to slide her into Laszlo’s waiting arm. He swallows as he pulls her to his chest. Something caught between a sob and a laugh leaves him. You blink through your own tears at the sight of your husband and daughter, a sight so far beyond perfect there could be no words. Laszlo held her with such delicacy, such reverence. It was as if any moment she could slip away as though a dream.

“Hello there my little dove, I’ve been waiting a very long time to meet you.” He doesn’t bother to wipe away the streams that fall from his eyes. “I’m your Papa and I-” he sniffs, looking towards the ceiling and blinking rapidly to clear his eyes. You rest your hand on his bicep. “I love you so very much. I would give you the world if I could. Your grandfather didn’t...he was not....” he pauses to gather himself. “To me you are the greatest gift I could ever receive. I will be the best father I can for you. A father worthy of you. Mein Gott, Ich liebe dich my darling dove.”

He continued to hold her in his arms until it was time to take you into the recovery room. When he had asked if you wanted her you simply shook your head. You would get your chance, you had a lifetime to do so. But your Laszlo needed this. He needed his little dove.

Tag list

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seungstarss · 2 years

Text

PROVE IT ☆ !!

22 TRUST ME — JAKE ENDING

wc: 600 +

"I'm sorry Sunghoon." Was the last thing he heard as he watched Yn dash off into the night, mixing in with the crowd of blurred faces. Had he just lost the person he loved the most again? What made Jake better than him? What did Jake do to even deserve a second chance? What did he lack? Was her choice always jake to begin with? Was he too absorbed in his feelings that he didn't even consider how she felt? Was he that selfish?

Sunghoon stood numb as his gaze struggled to pinpoint Yn, who had disappeared from his line of sight. He blamed himself for not trying hard enough, yet he hated himself for throwing all his unwanted feelings at her. He fabricated an illusion — one where she would return his feelings again. He felt disoriented as his false sense of reality came crashing down — he was just a trivial side piece attempting to crush and come between the protagonists and their happiness. He was never a choice.

—

Yn felt a flash of regret when she recalled the image of Sunghoon, standing alone, face full of pain as she veered away from his grip. She wanted to stay with him, but somehow she felt a need to hear Jake out one more time.

—

The musky scent swarmed the dimly lit bar where other college students sat, some completely out of it and some chugging down beer as they conversed in slurred discussions. Yn spotted Jake in the back corner, alone, and slumped down on a wooden table. She wanted to scream, yell and knock some sense into the boy who sat sound asleep, unaware of his surroundings, but as she approached him, her heart softened when she noticed the tear stains that were still fresh on his face.

Shaking him lightly, Yn woke the boy up, who only smiled foolishly at her presence. "Yyoure here? What took you so loong?"

Yn only sighed in response. "Let's go, I'm taking you home. I don't want to talk to you when you're drunk like this."

"Noo, Yn justt listen pl ease," he slurred, attempting to keep his eyes open. "Sera, she was my first serious girlfriend, and when she dumped me, I never got over her. So when she returned, my emotions took the best of me, and I went running back to her. I may have liked you because you resembled her, and I found comfort in that, but I realized that I do truly like you. I missed you when I was with her, and I'm sorry for being late. Please, just give me another chance."

Yn knew she had a soft spot for him, and it pained her seeing the boy, whose eyes were puffy from possibly hours of crying. She wanted to embrace him and accept his apology. Yet something in the back of her head told her it was wrong. Did she make the incorrect decision to come back to Jake? Was her gut trying to tell her something? Yn knew. From the moment she turned away from Sunghoon that she would never be able to reject Jake no matter what shitty excuse he made. Why did she always have to fall for someone at the wrong time?

"I'm giving you another chance Jake, so you better get up. We're going home." Yn knew she wasn't giving him a second chance because he deserved him. For the first time, she rejected her gut feeling to follow her heart instead.

Was it an incorrect choice?

Maybe it was.

But that, we'll never know.

ONE MONTH LATER

"Hey Jake, do you have anything else you needa clear up, you know like anything I still don't know about? Cause we promised we weren't gonna keep secrets from each other!" Yn pouted as she snuggled closer to Jake, who was busy trying to wrap the thin blanket around yn. Movie nights were fun, but not when the heater was broken.

The boy only hummed in response before kissing Yn on the forehead. "Why would I have anything to hide from you? Don't worry, you can trust me."

And there was one more story left untold.

MASTERLIST

< PREV

< SUNGHOON ENDING

SYNOPSIS. after getting called out for his year-long crush on you, jake tries his best to prove to his friends that he isn’t into you anymore. there are many ways to go about the situation and hiring a fake girlfriend to have fake phone sex isn’t the right one. but what could go wrong right? Maybe everything, when he accidentally dials your number instead.

a/n: hi my favs!! You've made it to the end!! I really hope you enjoyed prove it! It was a rushed series but I really wanted to make up for "stuck with you." If you choose jake, I encourage you to read hoon's ending as well!! Anyways it's been quite the ride and hopefully you all are satisfied with the outcome 😭💖 make sure to take care and stay healthy!! love you all!

(OH ALSO,,, yes that jake explanation part seemed like he was talking normally but I he's still slurring over his words! I just wanted to write it in proper English so it would be easier to understand! :))

And that's correct, jake is hiding the phone situation from yn :D that sounds like him digging a hole for catastrophe don't you think

TAGLIST

@berriniki @luvrjn @fiantomartell @shoftiiel @sthinqsz @acciomylove @abdiitcryy @ielaa @baekswoons @sunshinehanjisung @candidupped @missmadwoman @ja4hyvn @yangrden @liliansun @hutao-s @httpheeseung @todorokiskitten @primorange @uanel @babygay-stay @woniecf @yourlocalhotgf @ddeonubaby @enhacolor @atrirose @rinhyun @sseastar-main @wonjaems @msxflower @navi-llera @heesplanet @nishinet @n1k1tty @mochisnlix @luv3iza @c9tnoos @90sni-ki @icywhatim @yurazuyori @woniecore @squiishymeow @gu8ki @jakesim-p @beomsun @babygay-stay @chirokookie @chuntians @luvrseung @wonyofanclub

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gunterfan1992 · 3 years

Text

Episode Review: ‘Together Again’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 3)

Airdate: May 20, 2021

Story by: Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang, Hanna K. Nyström, Christina Catucci, Jesse Moynihan, Adam Muto

Storyboarded by: Hanna K. Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, Iggy Craig, Maya Petersen, Serena Wu

Directed by: Miki Brewster (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

Across Adventure Time’s ten season run, the show explored a bevy of “mature” themes and story ideas—topics, like love, sexuality, depression, and grieving. The show also touched upon death, but the emphasis was usually placed on the emotional toll of a loved one dying, not really what happens when you die. We knew there were Dead Worlds and Death. We knew that there was reincarnation. But how does it all fit together? What does it mean? How does it work?

With “Together Again,” we finally have many of the answers.

This special opens with a marvelous fake-out episode simply called “Finn & Jake,” that sees the two steal a magical cartoon of 50-flavor ice cream before rescuing Turtle Princess and LSP from the clutches of the villainous Ice King. This is all deliberately anachronistic and over the top. Ice King is back to his season one ways, Finn has both arms, and he is still wielding his golden sword that he lost in season two’s “The Real You.” There’s lolrandom dialogue and silly monsters; it’s like a parody of seasons 1-2. But then, this adventure starts to get all wonky, and in time Finn realizes that he is in a some sort of trance or illusion: one that ends with Jake being buried in the ground. Suddenly, Finn awakens from his reverie. He’s an old man. And he’s dead. We’re then presented with a new title card that lets us know the episode is actually called “Finn & Jake Are Dead.”

Holy Glob! They actually went there.

Turns out Jake died years before Finn, so naturally Finn is super excited to see his best bud. But something’s wrong—he cannot find Jake!! They planned to spend eternity together. But all that Finn can find is his very own psychopomp, Mr. Fox (voiced by Tom Herpich, whose purposefully stilted line readings are the epitome of delightful). Finn rightfully assumes that Jake is in a different Dead World, and so, being the ball of spunk and energy that he is, he demands to meet with Death, only to discover that there’s a New Death in town (voiced by Chris Fleming). The episode eventually explains that New Death was the son of Death and Life, and after New Death killed his father, he became the sovereign of the afterlife. New Death hates his job and decides to just blow up all the Dead Worlds so he doesn’t have to deal with it all. (I won’t get too much into the details here, because there would be a lot of story to parse out.)

Finn soon learns that Jake has reached nirvana in the 50th Dead World, where there is nothing but peace and serenity. Finn nevertheless tracks down Jake, pulls him from paradise, but in doing so, accidentally lets New Death in, who promptly obliterates Elysium, sending all the enlightened souls—including those from different levels of the afterlife—to the 1st Dead World. This gronks up the afterlife, temporarily halting the reincarnation process.

Well, Finn and Jake are rightfully ticked, and so they haunt the material plane looking for Princess Bubblegum. She’s not home (more on that later), but Peppermint Butler is! After Ghost Finn and Ghost Jake explain the situation, Peppermint Butler tells them what to do: They need to find Life and explain the situation. The duo manage just that, and Life is rightfully angry that her kid has stopped the transmigration of souls. After Life gives Finn a McGuffin sword that can hurt Death, Finn and Jake return to his abode. A brawl ensues wherein we learn that New Death has been possessed… by none other than that spirit of the Lich.

That’s right, it’s the Lich! He’s back, and boy is he evil.

The Lich explains that by possessing Death, he can destroy the afterlife, thereby destroying a key aspect of reality. Naturally, Finn and Jake are not cool with this, and they engage in combat. After Mr. Fox grabs the McGuffin sword and uses it to annihilate the Lich and New Death, he is proclaimed the New New Death and sets everything right. Finn is slated to be reincarnated, and Jake is slated to return to the 50th Dead World where he and Finn will one day be reunited. As Finn is pulled into the wheel of souls, Jake suddenly decides to go back with Finn, too, “Just for fun.” The episode ends with a card letting us know that the episode is neither called “Finn & Jake” nor “Finn & Jake Are Dead.” Instead, it is “Finn and Jake Are Together Again.”

As they say, “And there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.”

If you were to tell me several years ago that the last episode to star Finn and Jake would revolve around them dying, I think I would’ve been upset. Not simply sad, but rather frustrated because “they all died” can feel like a cheap ending. But with “Together Again,” it all works. And a large reason that it works is because the show goes all in with their ideas. Finn and Jake don’t magically leap back into their old life (no, no, they very much do bite the dust). Instead, the special emphasizes the cyclical nature of life through the transmigration of souls. The episode ends with a beautiful scene of Finn and Jake, bound together as soul-brothers, being reborn into a new, mysterious (possibly Ooo 1000+?) world. It’s both aesthetically and emotionally pleasing; it doesn’t feel off the way over finales might. This is right. This is the way life works. “Round and round as nature goes,” and all that jazz.

I loved the series explanation of how death works. It seems that souls land in a specific Dead World, where they ‘marinate’ for a bit, presumably being rewarded or punished based on their life in our meat reality. After a time, they are then reborn. This process repeats, with each soul reaching higher and higher levels of enlightenment until they hit nirvana, which is the 50th Dead World. So in a sense, Adventure Time has a roughly Buddhist cosmology with a dash of Greco-Roman mythos thrown in for flavor. (As to what happens after a soul stays in the 50th Dead World for a long period is anyone’s guess, but I’d speculate that when all the souls in the multiverse have been purified and land in the 50th Dead World, they will all collapse into one another and form one perfect Monad. Perhaps this is the sphere of perfection that the beings who merged into Matthew thought they were connecting to? Who knows! It’s anyone’s guess!) I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see who Death, Prismo, Life, etc.’s boss was, but perhaps that’s a mystery better left up to the imagination!

One minor thing that I loved about this special was the number of characters who made cameos as well as all the callbacks that were made to previous episodes. Regarding the former: Finn and Jake’s canine family show up (including the oft-forgotten Jermaine!), as do Tree Trunks and her myriad husbands. Tiffany plays a major role in all these shenanigans as a “death cop” of all things. There is a delightful rogues gallery stuck in the 1st Dead World (including, among others, Maja, Sharon from “The Gut Grinder,” and Wyatt). In the 50th we find Ghost Princess and Clarence happily at peace next to Booshy, the weird spirit mentioned in the Pen Ward classic “High Strangeness.” As far as callbacks go, perhaps my favorite is the clap (from “James Baxter the Horse”) that Jake taught to Finn in case they ever do get separated in the afterlife. And of course, there are myriad references made to “Death in Bloom,” the episode that planted the seed for what this would grow into.

Going into the special suspecting that it would involve Death, I was curious how they were going to handle Miguel Ferrer’s character. (In case a reader is not aware, Ferrer played Death in episodes like “Death in Bloom” and “Betty,” but he sadly passed away a few years ago). The producers’ choice to feature him in a non-speaking cameo—despite playing a relatively significant role in the story—was wise; I’m not sure if I can articulate the exact reasons, but something about his role felt appropriate and not gross, as some post-mortem memorials can be. Speaking of which, the wonderful, lovely Polly Lou Livingston was featured for the last time in this episode as Tree Trunks, happily in heaven with her literal harem of husbands. It was funny, it really was, and I’m sure that Polly Lou would’ve gotten a kick out of seeing it on screen. (Also, this is a pro-Tree Trunks safe space. Any Tree Trunks haters will be chucked into the 1st Dead World with Wyatt.)

The biggest mystery in this whole thing, for me at least, is the question of Princess Bubblegum and Marceline. Several years ago, I wrote an essay about what could’ve happened to them in the Ooo 1000+ universe. I speculated that they peaced out and left Ooo behind. In this special, neither Bubblegum nor Marceline are to be found in the Candy Kingdom—Peppermint Butler seems to be the one in charge, given that he is now wearing Bubblegum’s crown. Likewise, the duo aren’t anywhere in the Dead Worlds either. Maybe the two of them skipped town and got a duplex in the Nightosphere? Who knows… I just want my favorite gals to be OK!

All things considered, “Together Again” was a marvel: An episode that managed to feel like a series finale even more than “Come Along with Me” already did without taking away from the series itself. An episode that managed to make the idea of dying funny. An episode that brought back the Lich in a way that wasn’t forced. An episode that made Mr. Fox the New New Death. An episode that gave us a beautiful ending to Finn and Jake’s story… as well as the beautiful beginning to a new one. I said it on Twitter, and I’ll say it again here: “Together Again” was the end of a sentence in a book with infinite pages. Truly, the fun will never end.

Mushroom War evidence: Everything takes place in the Dead Worlds, so not really. Perhaps a more eagle-eyed viewer can inform us...

Final Grade: That’s right, I’m gonna do it...

Post-script, I actually messaged Jesse Moynihan to ask about his writing credit. He told me that it was for an unused story idea that he had developed. I’m not certain, but I’ll bet it was a part of the cancelled TV movie they were trying to make during season 5, since that would’ve seen Finn and Orgalorg journey to the various Dead Worlds.

#adventure time #adventuretime #atimers #at #atdl #distant lands #adventure time distant lands #finn the human #jake the dog #together again #togetheragain #dead worlds #hanna k. nyström #Hanna K #adam muto #jack pendarvis

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xlonelysoulxx · 3 years

Text

Being a Mermaid and Jacob’s Imprint Would Include... {2}

{gif isn’t mine}

xxxxx

You had disappeared for a whole month. You had only sent Leah a few messages after the incident, to give a sign of life and reassure the pack... which hadn’t helped matters when Jacob found out. "WHY didn't you tell me?!” “You acted like a f*cking jerk, why should I have?" The tension was so overwhelming, to the point where the other wolves must have come between them that day. Leah wanted to protect her friend, and Jacob wanted to get his imprint back. But he couldn't.

xxxxx

You hadn’t planned to come back, not so soon... this is what you had entrusted to the pretty wolf. You wanted to get some distance... away from Forks, from La Push... and from Jacob. You couldn't take it anymore. It was already hard that he treated you so coldly ‘cause he loved one another, but seeing him tear himself apart with his brothers... because of you? It was too much. It had gone way too far.

xxxxx

Grudge and worry kept growing among the wolves even when Jacob were gone, wandering god knows where near the Canadian border. Guilt and pain had kept twisting him from the inside ever since, and hearing the thoughts of his pack... especially when it came to you, had become torture. Even Jared, who had felt at fault at first, only felt annoyance now. Jacob was a ball of nerves ready to explode at any moment, while he was the one who had behaved badly in the first place. Fuck... he could have hurt you?! All because he had let himself be overcome by his emotions, emotions that he wasn’t yet ready to assume out loud.

xxxxx

The feeling of lack linked to the imprint was so strong that it sometimes prevented you from breathing, but that wasn't the worst. It was at that moment... that you realized how much you were in love with Jacob Black.

xxxxx

Even the pull of the bond wasn't as strong as the crack forged in your heart. A gash already wide open over the past few weeks (consciously or not) by the constant presence of Isabella Swan - hunted by Victoria - and now gaping as you left the Quileute... and Jacob, behind you. It was clear, the difference between these feelings - as if your heart and your guts were going in two distinct directions. How stupid you were... as if fate wasn't cruel enough like that.

xxxxx

You were quite surprised to see Alice and Jasper appear at your workplace one morning, a small neighborhood library near Port Angeles. It was brand new, no one knew about it. No one except Alice. Obviously... What were they doing there? You weren't particularly close to the Cullens, but you liked the lil’ brunette quite a bit. Did something happen? Did he... no, Leah would have warned you. Right..?

xxxxx

“He's stupidly stubborn, and guilty. But he's fine... for now.” You no longer understood anything, since when did Alice appreciate Jacob? She didn’t. But she couldn't control her visions. Time was running out. An army was approaching, Bella was once again the center of attention... and the future had darkened. The two clans who called themselves enemies had decided to unite reluctantly, to protect her - but what was your role in this story?

xxxxx

“Don't get me wrong, Alice... I don't wish Bella any harm.” You were boiling from the inside, but Bella wasn't the reason of your pain... Jacob was. You had no animosity towards the young girl, the shapeshifter was mature enough to make his own choices. It was between you and him, and yet. “But you came here for nothing.” You didn't look her in the eye anymore, busy sorting through the same books over and over in your hands. You couldn't believe she had come here just for this. She wanted you to come back to him, so he could come back to her... come back to Bella. To protect her.

xxxxx

Jasper hadn't moved from his place since their arrival, standing proudly straight behind his beloved. He could easily sense your anger, mixed with pain and incomprehension... and just like that, your eyes met his for a long second. “You should listen to her, Y/N.” You could feel a wave of appeasement sweep over you, immediately glaring at the vampire. "And you shouldn’t try to manipulate my emotions, Jasper."

xxxxx

“He won't survive it, Y/N... I saw it.” You could feel your blood running cold through your veins. What was she talking about?? Jacob was actually back in Forks, for more than a week now. But he was a freaking mess. He made sure to stay away from the pack, irritable... unpredictable, and more closed than ever. Quite the opposite of who he really was. You could feel your heart skipping a beat... Alice had glimpsed the impending confrontation, and the outcome had been fatal for the brown wolf.

xxxxx

No, no, no... it couldn't happen. It. Couldn't. The information was too much to handle as you began to hyperventilate like an idiot in the store, Jasper immediately moving to your side. You couldn't let him get killed all this because he was distracted by the whole "imprint thing”, no... you could never forgive yourself for it. You would leave your pride aside without any hesitation for him, everything for him... no matter the welcome you would receive in return.

xxxxx

The car ride was terribly quiet. The battle would take place in three days, so there was no time to waste. Your boss had been accommodating enough to give you your afternoon (he seemed to be pleased by your work, good for you) and this is where you were now... on the road back to Forks, sitting in the back of Alice's car. She had insisted on taking you there given your emotional state, and you were silently grateful for that. You could feel the anguish mounting as you approached the Quileute reserve, unconsciously wriggling in your seat.

xxxxx

“Stop the car.” The air was too thick to breathe, and you felt like you were drowning... there was only one way to fix it. You were close enough now, you could join the reserve on your own... but not right away. You quickly thanked the couple before slamming the door, taking the path to the forest under the worried gaze of the petite brunette. You ran, unable to stop before reaching the impressive cliff... not thinking twice before jumping.

xxxxx

You felt like you could finally breathe again as the icy water came in contact with your hot skin. You haven't been back to the ocean since the incident, and you had missed it - terribly. You could feel a pinch in your stomach as you rose to the surface, quickly looking up as your eyes instantly fell on the huge brown wolf that stood high on the rocks. Jacob. He was there... how?

xxxxx

You dived again after an endless exchange of glances, taking longer than necessary to reach the shore. A part of you feared your reunion, while the other was just relieved and excited to see him again. Jacob had reached the beach at an impressive speed, the shapeshifter dressed warmer than usual while a large jacket and boots complemented the usual shorts specific to all Quileutes. His heart was pounding as he observed the surface, impatiently waiting to see you reappear. Were you even going to do it..? He couldn't believe you were really there.

xxxxx

And you did. Your feet sank into the wet sand as you left the sweet comfort offered by the waves, your long hair sticking to your skin like a second skin. You were completely exposed as the cold wind whipped through your entire body, Jacob's eyes never leaving yours as he took off his jacket… wasting no time wrapping it around you. The distance between you was ridiculously thin now, the silence heavy and comfortable at the same time. There was no room for shyness here, it was Jacob. And despite everything that had happened you had full confidence in him.

xxxxx

None of you dared to speak first... almost like it's going to shatter the present moment, and bring bad memories to the surface. “I was afraid I had hurt you.” He finally confessed, almost shamefully. Start at the beginning, yeah... it was good. “I'm sorry I disappeared... I just panicked.” You answered briefly, but he cut you off almost immediately.“You don't have to feel sorry for anything, Y/N. I should. For everything.” He really was. He wanted to tell you how sorry he was, how much he had missed you... and how much he loved you. But he didn't have the right. Not now, and maybe never. But repeating it to you, showing you how sorry he was and how much he regretted the way he had treated you... seemed like a good start. He wanted to be the best imprint for you... a friend, a protector. If you wanted him to be. He didn't want to be separated from you like that anymore. Never again.

xxxxx

You could hear the sincerity in his voice, the erratic changes in his breathing… and the heat radiating from his body which was enveloping you like a soft blanket. He meant every word. You were sure of it. And it was, indeed, a good start... yes. It was like a silent acceptance, like a secret language between the two of you... your throat tightening a bit before you wrapped your arms around him.

xxxxx

Jacob automatically tightens his embrace around you, selfishly accepting the gesture of affection you both needed so badly. He trapped your body against his, resting his chin against the top of your head as you stood on your tiptoes... inhaling his scent. There he was, alive and safe in your arms... and that was all that mattered right now. And you were going to make sure that it stays that way, no matter what.

xxxxx

But fate wasn't so lenient, you should have known that... it didn't rest only in your hands. Cruel reality exploded in your face that day, Jacob's scream echoing through the entire clearing at the same time as the sound of his ribs being broken by the newborn vampire. It all happened so fast. Leah had found herself trapped in the deadly embrace of one of them, Jacob had intervened... and now he was writhing in pain on the ground.

xxxxx

You had joined him in a few strides, stumbling alongside him as your heartbeat echoed through your ears. Carlisle stood by your side, examining the extent of the damage before the other members of the pack arrived in turn. His voice was twisted in pain as he tried to pronounce your name, squeezing your hand in his before the other wolves surrounded him to pick him up - Paul reluctantly pulling you away from your imprint. Tears filled your eyes, so much so that you hadn't even seen Bella arrive… the obvious horror on her face. How could this have happened? You thought you could change Alice's vision, you really believed you could... but you obviously failed. Literally.

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rumblelibrary · 3 years

Note

I was listening to Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars and it came to my mind that this song would be a great source of inspiration for a headcanon for Modern!Laszlo Kreizler. What do you think?

What me? Crying my eyes out??? How did you know?

The night was happy and light, the chorus of laughter that bursted around him made his lips twitch instinctively into a tensed smile.

A sense of emptiness pervading him, a sense of loss even though in the happiest of times: the case was solved, the disappeared child was back.

The joyous parents kissing those puffy cheeks, Sara sipping her wine and darting engaging looks at John. Laszlo scratched his cheek lightly as he observed them, he didn’t need all those degrees to see what was bare in front of his eyes. His soft scratching was a mix between a show of tension and a reassurance to himself.

After all that running around, fear of finding the corpse of a child, after all that begging and researching and striving.

Then why happiness didn’t hit him? Why there was no relief?

He knew the truth, but the reality of things was that he wasn’t ready to admit it.

“Already going away?” John asked him as he picked up his coat from the chair where he abandoned it.

“Yes, I have an early round of appointments tomorrow”

“We couldn’t have done it without your insight” John insisted. To celebrate in the conference room of the police station just showed how much the happy ending of such a potential tragedy struck everyone.

Laszlo’s eyes darted slowly over the happy family in the corner, the father holding the baby daughter kissing her cheeks as the mother kept a steady hand on her small back, her smile was everything that a sight should be graced of: fullness, undivided love and tenderness.

“I know” Laszlo said only making John huff and chuckle joking that he is humble as always. Laszlo only smiled holding the coat under his arm as he gave him a nod and left.

Only once he was out he realised he came in John’s car, so he resumed to walk his way home, he needed some fresh air.

He never regretted his divorce, he was dragging a dead horse. His ex wife hated the guts of him and he never realised how much he didn’t trust her until the time to get parted came. Until he saw how many times he closed, how many times he felt that she was there to hurt him and, ultimately, she did when the right time came.

He brought it upon himself, that’s what he kept saying.

He tried, but not hard enough, he offered his heart but her pain was so vivid back then that he wondered did he ever gave it all? Or maybe he just believed it, he believed to have done it.

The happy smile of the woman that just had her baby back kept hunting him, the unfiltered happiness they felt caused him a primal form of envy that he refused to acknowledge to himself.

The soft tug on his back woke him from his trail of thoughts. Hand pulling his shirt shooting him back to reality.

A lone man walking home with the damn expensive watch he wore, any other person would have been worried.

And yet, when he turned around and saw you he was the worried one, like you just pointed a gun at him. He opened his mouth lightly but didn’t speak up.

“John told me you left, I hoped to catch up on you”

The way you spoke, the way you smiled, the little huffing in your breath showing you run after him. This is so wrong. He kept telling himself.

He just, he didn’t deserve this, the way you looked at him.

You’re just good at crushing anyone else Laszlo.

The words of his ex engraved onto his mind more than he would ever admit.

“I was just going home”

“Are you close?”

“Yes”

You looked at him with a soft sigh veiled by a smile, like you were dealing with some stubborn child.

“May I walk with you?”

“If you like”

“I do”

He titled his head down looking up at your frame, the way you looked at him teasing something inside him, something that was scratching, a loud white noise in the back of his head that you made audible.

He moved on side as you positioned yourself on his right.

You didn’t speak as you just walked with him, he didn’t talk either.

A shiver run through him, a sense of nervousness pervading him as his street got nearer after every step.

“You should go home, I mean, it is already late, I could call you a taxi”

“Do you really want to get rid of me, don’t you?”

He didn’t answer, because the answer was yes.

He needed to keep you far from him, since he met you your presence was both joy and pain to his eyes.

You sparked a new light, you opened his mind, got his interest. Hearing you talk, watching you move, even the smallest quirks and the little pet peeves of you. Everything was entertaining to him. He felt this need, the need to get under your skin, both mentally and physically. He wondered how it is to blend against your body, to kiss your lips, to taste your tears and your skin. He wondered if you cry while watching sad films, if you have childhood fears, if you talk in your sleep. He wondered if you ever found him attractive, if you’d refrain from his touch, if your kisses begin slow or passionate.

The truth was that he was the one not ready for you, he was the one afraid to let you touch him, to be bare with someone once again.

“I live here” He said noticing the apartments building standing on his left.

You looked up at it and smirked as it was an old building, one of those that survived after hundreds of restyling and it ket this old beginning of 1900 kind of feeling.

“Can I come in?”

“You’re shameless” he said as he indeed was admiring your persistence.

“Also that”

He looked at you for a moment, you didn’t blink away, not even for a second.

Just leave, please, just go away, stay with me, no go, better if you go.

He kept debating inside himself as you waited silently.

“I can’t do this”

You leaned your head on side at his words, you waited for him to explain himself.

“This thing, I mean, I can’t really get anyone in my apartment, alright? It is still a work in progress”

“You have done fooling me around with your excuses Laszlo” you said to him “you can’t take decisions for me and you won’t”

“I am not good at this, I will just hurt you, I am good at the beginnings but I just fail with time, I get sloppy, I won’t be a good choice on the long run”

“Laszlo” you interrupted his rambling as he stared at you. His eyes were begging you, begging you not to force him into this.

“Stop it now” you took a step forward as the space between you two closed abruptly, he felt the warmth radiating from you, the way your eyes shone for him, a sense of being lost and found taking over him, the unreasonable fear of something happening at that ungodly hour, like the building falling, anything, something that will ruin this moment.

“Aren’t you tired?”

You asked it so simply and yet he felt like he was the child that got lost in the night and was now being found again.

He parted his lips, eyes erratically escaping yours as he looked for any word, any excuse, any reason.

“Terribly”

He just said it as your hand gently raised, it was a slow movement like you were about to touch some frightened animal.

His eyes were fixed onto yours as your fingertips traced his cheek and up his temple. Your hand was a little cold against his skin, yet warm into your intentions. He leaned forward slowly pressing his forehead against yours.

“I can’t do this to you”

You smiled as your hand gently moved down his neck giving him a soft caress.

“You have been lonely for too long” you whispered.

He opened his eyes slowly, dark lids blinking into yours as his jaw tightened, a little redness forming as he tried to conceal the emotions running through him.

“Don’t let me hurt you”

“You won’t”

“I will”

“Then I’ll be there” you just said “I’ll be there for you, for us”

He shivered closing the space between the two of you with a sealing kiss, the push that got through him, like his whole body rebelled his mind, made him crush you against the heavy bricks of the entrance.

You could almost sense the immediate regret he felt, but you tugged him in, you pulled him closer as your lips sweetened the kiss from its initial desperation.

There was no pain in what it was about to begin and you wanted him to feel it.

You had no fear, no fear of the empty dark spaces of his mind, of the loneliness of his soul or the searing pain of his past.

You watched him consume himself for too long.

The time of excuses was over, and as your hands cupped his cheeks and whispered softly to him he could almost feel the abrupt silence of his mind after the loud noise of you tearing down his first defence wall fainted into that kiss.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief @thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams@charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio @hb8301 @whatawildone @rhymerhymerhyme @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose @unbeatablecurlgirl @obsidianlaszlo @alindeluce @zemosimp05 @baronesszemo-blackwood @nocapesdahling @everythingbeginsineternity-blog @archangelproperty

#laszlo kreizler #dr laszlo kreizler #modern!laszlokreizler #modern!laszlo kreizler #the alienist au #laszlo kreizler x y/n #laszlo kreizler x you #laszlo kriezler x reader #laszlo kreizler imagine #laszlo kreizler headcanons

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sour--disposition · 3 years

Text

Baby Steps

harry lewis x fem!reader

Request: Can I have an imagine where Harry accidentally gets you pregnant but no one knows your dating and you are scared to death but he is really good and it all is okay in the end and the rest of the sdmn are very supportive in the whole situation when they first find out about not only the two of you dating but also of the pregnancy. Thanks xx

I’m super open to doing a part two of this where baby w2s meets the uncles and we get super cute harry and baby fluff so lmk if thats something else i should add to the to do list

please check my masterlist to see if requests are open

They were taunting you. The two lines on the stick. It was like they were laughing at you, enjoying the turmoil erupting in your gut. Maybe that was the baby making itself known. Who knows?

What was Harry going to say? Neither of you were ready for a baby, were you? Harry’s career was only growing at this point, the sky was well and truly the limit for the Sidemen and for Harry himself. You couldn’t jeopardise that with an accidental pregnancy. It could ruin everything.

You’d been safe, you were on birth control, for Christ's sake. Yet, here you were, having a face off with 3 pregnancy tests.

You texted your best friend, Gee, immediately, asking if you could come over. She replied instantly, worrying about you but telling you to come over whenever you wanted to.

“What’s wrong?”, Gee asked as soon as she opened the door to you. She looked up up and down, checking you for damage.

“I’m pregnant”, you whispered. “I was late and I thought it was just my birth control fucking around with me but I’ve been really ill the last couple of days and I just thought that I’d take a test and rule out that silly possibility because no way am I pregnant but I am and-”

“Breathe, Y/N”, Gee told you firmly, taking your hand in hers and dragging you over to the sofa. “It’s going to be okay”, she said softly, pulling you into her arms. “Does Harry know?”, she asked.

“No, I came straight here”, you whispered. “Oh, shit. The guys don’t even know we’re together. I think Freezy does but... Hi guys I’m actually Harry’s girlfriend surprise also surprise, I’m pregnant”, you said in a put on, over the top, happy voice. “My God, my life has gone to shit, Gee”, you huffed, slumping back onto the sofa.

“It’ll be fine. It’s your body, Y/N, and it’s your choice what you do with it. If Harry is supportive, that’s great. If not, you’ve got me, and the girls and Will and his friends. Whatever option you pick, you don’t have to do it alone”, Gee told you reassuringly, running her hand comfortingly up and down your arm. “You need to tell Harry and then you can take it from there”.

Gee let you sit with her for a little while longer, letting you calm down and get your thoughts together before you attempted to face Harry. You texted him, asking if he was free and if you could come over. He replied quickly, thank God, telling you to come over whenever you wanted.

“You can ring me whenever, okay? And if you need to come here after, you don’t have to ring, just come straight over. Let me know how everything goes, yeah?”.

The drive to Harry’s was stressful. You seemed to hit every red light possible, and every driver in front of you seemed to have zero sense of urgency. You tapped the steering wheel impatiently, flicking through the Spotify playlist you’d set when you left Gee’s.

By the time you’d parked up and gotten to Harry’s front door, you were practically shaking where you stood. The nerves were wracking through your entire body. Forget butterflies, there was a whole stampede going on in your stomach.

“Hey”, Harry smiled once you’d finally knocked on the door. “Are you okay? You don’t look too good”, he said, worry written plainly across his face.

“Is Freezy here or is it just us?”, you asked, chewing on your lip.

“It’s just us”, Harry said simply, taking your hand in his and guiding you over to the sofa. Once you’d sat down, he rested his hand on your knee. “You’re really worrying me, Y/N. What’s wrong?”.

“Promise you won’t be mad?”, you asked, voice small. Harry nodded, moving his hand to hold yours. “I’m pregnant”.

Harry seemed to lose all control of his face. His mouth dropped open slightly in shock and his hand around yours slackened. “I-”, he spluttered. “I thought we were safe”, he said quietly.

“We were”, you said, voice watery as tears started to fall. “There’s, like, a less than 1% chance. I’m so sorry”, you said, voice cracking slightly with emotion.

“Don’t be sorry, don’t cry”, Harry shushed. He seemed to snap back to reality there and then. He bundled you into his arms, carefully pulling you closer to him. He gently wiped the tears off of your face, leaving his hand there to cup your face. “Don’t ever be sorry”, he whispered, leaning forward to kiss you.

“But the boys and your channel and they don’t even know about us”, you rambled. “I don’t know what to do, Harry”, you whispered into the soft fabric of his hoodie.

“It’s your choice, Y/N. It’s your body. I’m not going to force you to have a baby that you don’t want to have, but I’ll be there every step of the way if you choose to keep it”, Harry told you.

“What do you want?”, you asked him quietly. “In an ideal world, what do you want?”.

“Ideally? This would’ve happened a little bit later. But I love you, Y/N. I’ve known from day one that I love you. I want nothing more than to have a family with you and if thats a little bit sooner than we first thought, then so be it. But I’ll be here, no matter what decision we make. All I ask is that you include me. No matter what choice we make, I’m not going anywhere”, Harry said. His thumb came up to swipe at a few more tears that had fallen.

You looked at Harry in awe. “Of course I want this with you, Harry. There’s nothing I want more. Sure, a couple more years would’ve been great. But we can do this, right?”, you asked, voice wavering only slightly.

“Yeah, we can”, Harry smiled. His hand moved from your thigh to your stomach, cupping around what would become a bump in the next few months. “Hi, baby”, he cooed softly, dipping his head down to rest on your chest. “I love you and your Mummy so very much”, he hummed. A smile fell into place on your face as you let yourself bask in the soft moment for a little while.

“Do you want to tell your friends?”, you asked Harry a few minutes later.

“Yeah”, he said simply. “I wanna be a good dad to my baby and that has to start from now. I think they know I’ve got a girlfriend, but I want you to meet them properly finally. And I’ll tell them there and then about Harry Junior. If they can’t get on board, then that’s a them problem”, Harry said with a sense of finality.

“We are not calling this baby Harry Junior, no matter how great of a dad you are”.

You were nervous, but not nearly as nervous as when you’d told Harry that you were pregnant last week. You were sat with Harry on the sofa of his living room, waiting for the rest of the Sidemen to come around. You’d already told Cal, it was kind of hard to deflect the question when he came into the room to see Harry affectionately cradling your body and stomach.

“What if they hate me?”, you asked Harry, leg bouncing in anticipation.

“You know them already, sort of. They won’t hate you. You’re amazing”, Harry promised.

“Yeah but they don’t know me as your girlfriend or the mother of your child”, you stressed. Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a knock on the door.

“That’ll be some of them”. Harry bounced up to open the door, returning to the room followed by Vik, Tobi and Josh. “I got a text from Simon, him and JJ are down the block in an Uber”, Harry said, quickly returning to his spot next to you.

You made small talk with the 3 boys and Harry until JJ, Ethan and Simon arrived. The wait couldn’t have been any longer than 5 minutes, but to you, it felt like a life time.

Once everyone was situated around the living room, Harry gestured at you awkwardly. “So, you know Y/N”, he started, sounding unsure of himself. He was met with a round of nods and ‘mhm’s. “We’ve been together for just over a year”, Harry said bluntly.

You were surprised by the lack of surprise in the room. “You dragged us all the way over here to tell us something we all already knew?”, Vik asked, looking around at the other boys.

“Yeah, it’s not exactly a well kept secret, Harry”, Simon laughed with a smile on his face.

“Oh, well...”, Harry trailed off, blushing and spluttering slightly. “There is something else, though”, he said quietly. “You’ve said I’ve been a bit off the last week and it’s because I’ve really needed to speak to you lot about something”.

“You aren’t pulling a JJ, right?”, Josh asked with a dramatic sigh. “I can’t do diss-tracks again, man, it feels like a fever dream”, he whined. Everyone around the room let out a low chuckle and Ethan poked at JJ’s shoulder, purposefully trying to wind him up.

“No, it’s not about that”, Harry laughed nervously. Harry looked like he was trying to find the words, but he was too nervous to string any of them together to form a coherent sentence.

“Last week I found out I’m pregnant”, you said, squeezing Harry’s hand gently in your own.

The shocked faces almost made you burst out into laughter. Over the last week, it was all you and Harry had talked about and it helped the both of you come to terms with the reality of the situation. It was still daunting, but you knew that you weren’t doing it alone which lifted a massive weight off of your chest.

Shocked faces soon broke out into huge grins. “Congratulations!”, Josh beamed from the other side of the living room. “How far along are you?”, he asked you.

“I’m not too sure, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow because I need to know if my birth control will have done any damage. But I’d say maybe 8 weeks, give or take”, you smiled.

“You had a good time in Italy then, Harry?”, JJ teased from his spot in the chair, earning him a swift swat from Simon.

Harry’s face screwed up in confusion. “What does our anniversary trip have anything to do with - Oh...”, Harry trailed off, cheeks immediately setting alight with a pinkish red blush. You couldn’t help but giggle, leaning gently against Harry’s side. “Wait, how did you know about our anniversary trip?”, Harry asked.

“Like we said, Harry. You aren’t very subtle”.

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bellisperennis0 · 3 years

Text

New Hope

Word Count: 2,505

Warning(s): Heartbreak, few swear words, did I mention heartbreak, Spoiler to Season 3 Episode 8, possible happy ending

Notes: Loved this request when I got, just sorry it took me a lifetime to finally get to. Based off this fic - Beautiful Storm. As always, thank you for reading and hope you enjoy! ❤️ GIF credit to angels-reyes

rkil98 asked: I love your imagines! Your so talented! I just wanted to make request for a imagine that goes with a “a beautiful storm”. It’s the night Angel showed up on her doorstep and she told him she was pregnant and maybe the morning after? I think it would be so dope seeing the ways he made it up to her and proved he was all in. You don’t have to if you don’t want to but if you do I’ll love you forever! ❤️

Blowing out the last candle on the dinner table, you take one last look around the tiny home you shared with Angel for the past few years.

This was the last straw for you; you were done fighting for someone who wouldn’t even fight for you. You were tired of the lonely nights of crying yourself to sleep. Tired of coming last in his world.

Making one last sweep of the bedroom to make sure you had everything you needed; you freeze when you hear the front door open and close, praying it was just EZ and not Angel.

When you hear Angel call your name, you knew from his tone he wasn’t all that pleased. “Fuck” you breathe out and make your way back out to the living room.

“The fuck is all this!” he yells as he points to your bags sitting by the front door.

Crossing your arms across your chest, you lean against the door frame. “Do you know how many times you have promised me you would be home for dinner?” you ask him “I promise you querida, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Leaving the Clubhouse now. Be there in just a few minutes.” you tell him as you do your best to mimic his voice.

His eyes go from you towards the kitchen. His head dropping when he sees the candles and the plates of food, yet again, sitting on top of the table, long forgotten.

“Save the bullshit excuse, Angel. I’m honestly tired of you constantly breaking my heart.” you tell him as you sniffle.

His head shooting up when he realizes you were crying.

“Bab-“ he tries to say as he tries to take a step closer to you, but your hand going up stops him.

“We aren’t happy Angel. We haven’t been for months now. I think its best if we take a break from each other for a while.” you start. “We both have things we need to work on individually before we could work on this relationship.” you continued.

“So that’s it? You’re making this decision for the both of us? I have no say?” Angel says and you can tell he was trying to control his anger.

You furrow your brows. “Angel, you made that decision a long time ago when you repeatedly chose the club and the rebels over me, over us. I used to be your number one priority, now I don’t even know where I stand in your world.”

“We can work this out, querida.”

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do with all these dinners and movie nights I plan? If you would actually show up instead of being over the border with Adelita, you would know that.” you shout, your emotions and frustration growing.

Angel sighs in frustration and he pinches the bridge of his nose, “I’m not going to just stand here and let you walk out that door.”

“You don’t have a choice, Angel. It’s now or when you’re gone.”

“No, [y/n]!!” his gruff voice yells. You step back in surprise at his sudden outburst. Sure you and Angel had your fair share of arguments, but he has never raised his voice in such a manner before.

Throwing his hands up, “I’m sorry.” he whispers as he tries to step forward, but stops when you take another step back.

“I can’t do this anymore, Angel. I just need some time to think about everything going on. Some time away.”

“Time away. From me?” he asks and you could hear the hurt in his voice.

“Not just you. From the MC. This relationship. Having to act like I’m happy all the time. I need to find myself again.” you tell him, fighting the tears.

He just stands there nodding.

“I love you, Angel, more than anything in this world, but I can’t stand on the sidelines of your life anymore. Once you figure everything out with the MC, with Adelita and the cartel, and then maybe you can figure out what it is you really want.” You tell him.

“But I want you, querida. A life with you.”

“Your actions say otherwise. I need to step away for us, from you, and I need you to allow me to do this, for the both of us.”

“I can’t. I can’t just let you walk out that door, [y/n].” he whispers.

Walking up to him, you place a hand on his chest and a soft kiss to his lips, “I love you.” you whisper before walking to get your bags by the door.

“This isn’t goodbye, Angel. I’ll see you soon.” you tell him and wait for him to nod his understanding before making your way out the door.

----

Now you find yourself sitting in the middle of your bedroom floor, wiping away the tears that stream down your cheeks as you stare down at the piece of paper and the countless sticks sitting in front of you.

A routine doctor’s appointment earlier in the day came with a surprise that flipped your world upside down.

“You’re pregnant.” you could hear the doctor’s voice as the moment replayed in your head.

Even with a sonogram in your hand, you were convinced that it was all a fluke - a sick joke from the universe - and stopped and grab some pregnancy tests on your way home. Now all eight tests sit in front of you with two pink lines or ‘pregnant’ on its screen, alongside your sonogram.

You didn’t know how you were going to tell Angel. It had been three months since you left and contact with him had been non-existent the last couple months.

This was something you and Angel had extensively talked about in the past, all before the MC and the L.O took top priority. The one person you wanted to tell the most hasn’t been answering your calls or messages, and it wouldn’t be fair to him to tell Pop or EZ first. So looks like you’ll have to keep this your little secret till you could finally tell Angel.

----

After a long day at work and constantly feeling sick, you were lying in bed with a long forgotten program playing in the background as you aimlessly scroll through videos on your phone. You could make out a faint knock through the low noise coming from the TV.

You furrow your brows as you prop yourself up on your elbows, closely listening to see if there was another knock or if you were just hearing things.

Then you could hear another knock - louder this time. A brief pause later, you could make out the faint voice of Angel. Quickly tossing off the blankets, you make your way down the hall to the door.

Flinging open the door, you find Angel standing there. You could tell he was drunk, but the tears streaming down his face had you instantly worried.

“What happened? What’s wrong Angel?” you ask as you step closer to try to console him, but he pushes past you and barges right into your home.

“She lied to me,” you could hear him say as you close the door behind you. Turning to find Angel pacing your living room floor.

“She fucking used me.” he says, his tone turning into anger.

You automatically knew who he was talking about, but you didn’t know the contents of what he was referring to.

“What are you talking about, Angel?” you ask in confusion. A part of you wanted to know what had happened so you could help him through it, but the other part of you was too scared of what he might tell you.

He finally stops pacing the room and looks up at you. He takes a deep breath before taking a seat, his head in his hands.

“The night you left, I was so upset that I needed someone, anyone, to talk to that hadn’t walked out on me already. I went to see her.” he tells you as he finally lifts his head to look at you.

“I didn’t go to see her to intentionally hurt you, but one thing led to another. Come to find out a few weeks later she tells me she’s pregnant....” he stops when you quickly make your way to the kitchen, emptying what little contents of your stomach into the kitchen sink.

“Shit querida. You all right?” Angel was quick to be by your side. Pulling your hair back and rubbing your back soothingly as you continued to vomit into the kitchen sink. You didn’t know if you were sick because of your pregnancy or if it was the gut punch Angel just gave you with dropping such news on you out of nowhere.

After a couple minutes, you were feeling slightly better.

“Here.” Angel hands you a bottle of water as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

“Thank you.” you whisper taking a swig of water and sloshing it in your mouth before spitting it in into the sink. “Sorry.” you tell him finally looking up at him.

“You okay?” he asks and you could hear and see the concern

You just nod your head, making your way back out to the living room; Angel following right behind you. The both of you sit in silence for what felt like eternity, fidgeting with your hands in your lap, unsure of what to say.

“The baby isn’t even mine.” you hear Angel barely whisper, your head shooting up when you realize he was crying again.

“Angel, I’m...” you tried but Angel shaking his head stops you from continuing.

He aggressively wiped the tears from his face as he sniffled. “Don’t apologize, querida. This is my karma for all the shit I have done and all the pain I have caused.”

“Angel, no one deserves to lose a child.”

“Here I was the fucking idiot that I am, hopeful that something in this fucked up life of mine was actually going right. Getting a life I thought I lost the day you walked out that door. As fucking scared as I was at the thought of fucking everything up, this was something I wanted.” he was now up pacing the room once again, tears streaming down his face as he went on. You sat there watching him, as you did your best to hold your tears at bay, allowing him to release all that pent up emotion.

“Only for it all to be ripped away from me in a blink of an eye. All just to fuck over the MC and get intel on Galindo. Used me as one of her fucking puppets.” he huffed as he finally took a seat, head in his hands as he tried to compose himself.

You just sat there taking everything Angel had just told you in. That explains why he hadn’t been answering your calls the last couple months. Your heart ached for how hurt and shattered Angel was, but a part of you couldn’t help but be selfishly relieved that he wasn’t having a child with Adelita.

“The entire time I couldn’t help but wish that she was you, and you were the one carrying our child. Guess that’s all just a far fetch dream now.”

“Angel...” you tried.

“No, querida. The night you decided to walk out, I was furious at you, I really was. Then I realized that it was my entire fault. I was the one that pushed you away. I made a promise to you that no matter what, you would always come first and I put the MC, the Rebels, even the fuckin cartel before you. All this shit is on me. Everything. Before I could get control of all that was going on, everything just exploded in my face. I didn’t want this for us, and for that I am really sorry, querida.”

Without saying a word you got up and went and walked over to your bag you knew was sitting on the dining table, pulling out that piece of paper you have been carrying around for the past few weeks. Angel sat there, brows furrowed, as he watched you move around the small space.

“I’ve been practicing how I was going to tell you and this wasn’t how it played out in my head, but you need to know.” you tell him as the tears begin to stream down your face.

You look down at the piece of paper in your hands before placing it on top of the coffee table in front of Angel.

He looks at it and then back up to you, finally looking back at the paper, picking it up.

You turned your back to Angel as you tried to control your emotions, unsure how he was going to react to this news.

“Are you being serious [y/n]?” you hear Angel whisper behind you. You just chuckle as you wipe the tears from your face.

“[y/n], is this real?” Angel asks again.

You nod your head, sniffling, and turn to look up at Angel as he slowly approaches you.

“A baby?” he asks

“Yeah.” you whisper giving him a small smile.

“A baby?” Angel repeats again with a smile and a look of pure admiration.

“Our baby, Angel.” you tell him with a small chuckle

Angel sniffles as he cups your face in his hands, “Our baby” he whispers and you just smile up at him, hand softly cupping his face, thumb wiping the tears from his cheek.

Angel places a kiss to your forehead, his hand on the back of your head pulling you into him. He places another kiss to the side of your head as you wrap your arms around his middle, resting your head on his chest.

“Our baby.” you softly chuckle as you hear Angel repeating the words again.

Angel pulls away slightly, with his thumb and index finger he lifts your chin so you were looking up at him, “Imma do it right this time, I promise you querida. I know I have a lot of making up to do and I will go to the end of the earth for you. This is my all. You and our baby is all I need.” he tells you.

“We still have a lot to work on, but I know we can get through this together. As long as I have you by my side from here on out, that’s all that matters to me. I love you, Angel.” you pull him down to you and softly place a kiss to his lips.

“I love you, mi dulce.” he gives you a smile.

From that day forward, Angel was there every step of the way. Sure there were bumps along the way, but you and Angel always managed to work through them, making your relationship that much stronger.

And the day your little princess was born, changed yours and Angel’s life for the better. Bringing new beginnings and new hopes.

--xx

Taglist: (Let me know if you would like to be added/taken off)

@sesamepancakes

@yourwonkywriter

@mijop

@mayans-sauce

@encounterthepast

@queenbeered

@chibsytelford

@alienstardust

#Angel Reyes #Angel Reyes x Reader #Angel Reyes Imagine #mayans mc imagine #Mayans MC x Reader #Mayans MC

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little-dragon-stories · 3 years

Text

When life forms a full circle

What happen when Kim Namjoon, single father of twins, meet his university crush as the teacher of his precious little ones?

W.C. 12 372

Pairing Kim Namjoon and female reader

Warning: none! This fic is just cuteness overload (maybe a bit of anxiety but nothing much.

This fic is a collab between me and my dear princess @aspaceformyself @aspaceformyselffics09, without her, it wouldn’t have been that good! Thanks a lot my princess! I love you <3<3<3<3<3

Dear Mr. Kim,

Here it is! Already the first day of school of your precious little ones!

Let me introduce myself! My name is Y/N and I will have the privilege to be a homeroom teacher for your kids, for their first year at the Blooming dale Kindergarten school. I am so excited to meet your children and team up with you for their first steps as a ‘big kid’ :)

In this email, you will find everything you need to know to get ready for the big day. From the school material to the class behavior code, take the time to read it all with your little ones.

To start this year on a festive note, I along with a couple of other teachers are organising a small event to help the kids get to know each other and also warm up to us teachers. I would thus like to invite you with your children on their first day of class. On the site, many games will be organised along with snacks for everyone.

Please, join us on monday, (date)

I can’t wait to meet them and start this year together.

Y/N Y/L/N

++++++++++++++++

Namjoon blinked at the message once, twice and thrice.

It was 3 am in the morning and judging by his red eyes and unkempt hair, it’s easy to deduce that Mr. Kim Namjoon barely got any sleep since god knows how many days. He pushed himself up from his chair, waddled down the hallway into the kitchen, fetched himself a bottle of water and plopped in front of his laptop once again. The past few days at work had been crazy for him. And today was much crazier. After a rollercoaster ride of juggling between his work and his kids, he finally got a moment of peace for himself. And just as he thought of finishing up more of his work, his eyes began to droop and found himself passed out on his desk only to be awakened by a notification waiting for him in his email.

“Ugh,” Namjoon groaned to himself and hurriedly typed out a reply. This is when he saw it again, the message that you sent him 2 weeks ago. He was so drowned out in everything that he almost forgot his precious 5 year olds are starting kindergarten tomorrow. It seems as if it was only yesterday, that he was changing their diapers and bringing them to sleep, comfortably wrapped against his chest in the big rocking chair. And here he was, reading emails from the school where his babies would be starting classes tomorrow. Time flies so fast. The mere thought of his kids taking their first steps in this world, made Namjoon’s chest flush with emotions to the point his eyes felt watery.

“Dammit Namjoon,” He thought to himself, “This is not the time to get all teary and emotional about your kids, it’s 3 am in the middle of the night!” But nonetheless, he was proud and more than anything he was happy. Overwhelmed, he did the first thing that came to his mind and grabbed his cell phone resting on the desk.

“You better tell me you’re dying, it’s 3 am!” Jin’s voice slurred through the other end, not impressed. But on the other hand he answered before it even rang twice, which means, he guessed Namjoon would be calling him at his wits end and he was ready to answer. Namjoon smiled sheepishly to himself. It was such a Jin kinda gesture.

“Wait, don't say anything, you’re overwhelmed because tomorrow it’s the twins first day of school ?” Jin asked before Namjoon could get any words out.

“How did you know, hyung?”

“Namjoon - ah you’re forgetting we enrolled our children together.”

“Right” Namjoon snorted.

“So, on a scale of 1- 10 how anxious are we?”

“Am I that obvious hyung?”

“Kim Namjoon, I live 10 minutes away from you and I can hear your thoughts overflowing all the way here.”

“Right.”

“So?” Jin asked, “Gonna spill or do I have to make you spill?”

“That won’t be necessary hyung”, Namjoon laughed, “I’m gonna spill.”

Namjoon sucked in a deep breath before he dived in.

“The thing is, I know how they’re excited to start school. I know they are ready and will be doing just fine. But, at the same time, I don’t want them to be hurt or sad and I’m afraid I won’t be around them to be able to comfort them. What if they are mocked? What if they hurt themselves? I won’t be there to help and worse I won’t know about it… I know their teacher will certainly be there for them, but she’s not me, you know. She’ll have so many kids to take care of… Hyung… Just the thought of them being away from me and hurt makes me so sad and scared. I see their excitement and I want to be excited too but I’m just scared. They are so small. They are my precious babies… Also, Namu needs time before he’s comfortable around new people, it’s not so easy for him to adapt to new situations”

Jin was quiet for a while and Namjoon worried the line disconnected before he spoke again.

“Namjoon - ah trust me when I say this. I feel you. I’m shit scared my little DaMi might get hurt too. But you know what,” Jin added in a tone softer than before, “I think they are ready. We should trust them and ourselves.”

“Is this your gut talking to you?”

“I don’t know, could be,” Jin chuckled, then sighed, “it’s okay to be scared Namjoon - ah. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Are you scared too, hyung?”

“Yah! Who do you think I am?” Jin’s voice boomed through the phone, “I’m Kim SeokJin, I’m never scared of anything.”

“Then why are you up so late hyung?”

“You know...Uhhh, I’m prepping! I’m prepping Dami’s lunch box for tomorrow!”

“Hyung, the school is arranging lunch, it’s a school party, the first day celebration.”

“Then I’m preparing her clothes for tomorrow!”

Namjoon laughed, “Whatever you say, hyung”.

“Okay, Namjoon, I need to go. I have so much to do before the morning arrives. But before that, how are you feeling now?”

“Hyung, before that hold on, who signed the email? Who’s Dami’s teacher?”

“I don’t remember, wait, I’ll check”. Scrolling his phone, he found the information.

‘Her name is Y/n”

‘NO WAY! Dami will be in the same class as the twins. How cool is that?”

“That’s so nice! They will all be able to count on each other. I’m so grateful, Dami won’t feel alone in the big class”

“Oooh, I thought you were not scared of anything…”

“I… I’m not”

“Yeah, sure.” Namjoon giggled, “ See you tomorrow, hyung. And for the record, I feel much better. I hope you do too.”

“I was always cool with it, you know. See you tomorrow Joon-ah. Give them a kiss from uncle Jin when they wake up. We’ll meet there”.

“Will do. Hyung… Last question… do you think their teacher will love them as much as we do?”

“She cannot love them as much as we do Namjoon, no one can. As a parent, the love we have for our little ones cannot be compared. But I’m sure that if she decided to be a teacher, it’s because she loves kids in general and therefore, we have no choice but to trust the fact that they will be treated with much care. But you know, our kids are lovable, they will be the teacher’s favorite!”

“Damn, you’re right! Thanks Hyung. I feel much better now”.

“Anytime Joon, preferably during business hours” Jin teased.

“As you were sleeping”

“Yeah, yeah! See you Joon-ah”.

_____________

Morning came way too fast for Namjoon’s liking. He barely had closed his eyes after he spoke with Jin, his fellow ‘Single dad club’ friend as they like calling themselves before he was awakened by two noisy kids racing up to his bed and jumping on him.

“Appa! Namu will have a pancake!” Little Namu straddled Namjoon’s chest while his twin sister Nam Young followed behind equally enthusiastic, “And Nam Young will have a sandwich and omelette!”

Namjoon groaned in his sleep, shaken awake by the sudden intrusion. Slowly squinting his eyes open he glanced at the clock next to him. 6:25 am it read. Lazily scooping both his kids in his arms, Namjoon sat up.

“Morning little monsters,” Namjoon greeted them fondly, kissing their faces and holding them close to his chest.

“Dad! Leave us alone!” The twins giggled, “We’re not babies anymore! Don’t hold us like babies!”

“Noooo!” Namjoon whined holding them closer than before, “You’ll always be my babies! Don’t even try to make me say otherwise! Even on your wedding day, you’ll be my babies. You better get used to it right now”.

“Please appa, don’t call us like that at school”

Sniffing the air, a sweet smell tickled Namjoon’s nose. And before he could wonder where the smell came from, another pair of tiny footsteps echoed in the room and then another little girl jumped Namjoon.

“Uncle Namjoon!” She squealed, throwing her arms around him. Namjoon struggled to hold her tight in addition to his kids already in his arms.

“DaMi!” Namjoon’s face stretched into a smile, “When did you get here princess ?? Where’s your appa?”

“Kitchen!!!” The children sang all at once, “He’s making us yummy food! Let’s go! Let’s go!”

“You guys need to get down though”

“Appa nooooo, hold us!” Nam Young pouted followed by Namu and DaMi joining in on her.

“Fine, aye aye captain,” Namjoon sighed. Seriously, he’s way too whipped for the kids to say no. Scooping the kids in his arms with the three of them hanging on to him, Namjoon rose from the bed and made his way through the hallway, into the kitchen.

When he entered, he was greeted by the sight of Jin behind the oven skilfully taking care of a frightening amount of poelons and cauldrons at the same time. How he never burned anything always remains a mystery for Namjoon.

“What a nice surprise!” Namjoon exclaimed, “When did you guys get here by the way?”

“Don’t mention it! I was not lying when I told you I was prepping their lunches last night. Besides, it kept me away from overthinking,” Jin’s half admitting his anxiety was somehow touching for Namjoon who came beside his friend and put a hand on his shoulder. Both were ‘losing’ their babies this morning and the thought of it made their heart twist.

“We got here at 6 am!” Dami exclaimed from where she was perched on Namjoon’s shoulder.

“Aaaaw, did my little Dami wake up that early?” Namjoon cooed at her, then turned to Jin,“Well, it’s a wonderful surprise. Thanks a lot hyung.”

“How many times have I told you that we would be the perfect couple, Kim Namjoon? I was not lying! You would have these breakfasts each morning” Jin teased his friend.

“I might consider the offer,” Joon joked back.

The children jumped down from Namjoon’s embrace and began to set the table in a chaotic but efficient manner. As efficient as the kids can get. In no time, the cutlery was set, and all gathered together before a delicious breakfast prepared by Jin.

No sooner did they finish their breakfast, the kids raced past Namjoon and Jin to gather their belongings as the adults cleared the table and cleaned up everything. Soon, everything was in order and Namjoon and Jin found themselves all packed, in their respective cars ready to drive to school all prepared to welcome their kids to take their first steps as the big kids.

Concentrated on the road, Namjoon didn’t pay attention to the kids for a couple of minutes. Lowering the music, he realised that the atmosphere suddenly changed in the car. He turned his attention to what was happening in the back seat while still driving.

“... you’ll see Namu, we’ll have fun. Plus, we’re in the same class as DaMi. We’ll be together…”

“I want to stay home with appa… he’ll be alone if we both go to school. I’ll miss appa too”

Namu tears went down on his round cheeks as Joon could see and it broke his heart into tiny pieces.

“What’s going on son?”

“I don’t want to go to school appa. I want to stay home with you. I don’t want to go…”

“Aaaaw… Namu, you forgot that for today I will stay with you guys. We’ll meet your teacher and the other kids together. I can’t wait to see your class. Meet your teacher. Play with the other kids. We’ll have fun, you’ll see. Plus, tomorrow, you’ll have only half a day to let you have the time to adapt. In no time, you’ll get used to it”

“I don’t want to meet them… I don’t want to meet Miss Y/n and the other kids. I want to stay home with you”.

“Namu is just a big baby,” Nam Young playfully teased her twin brother while wiping his tears at the same time.

“Nam Young, don’t tease him. He has the right to feel anxious. It’s normal to be when we are facing a new situation”

“I’m just teasing him appa, I wanted to make him smile”.

“You didn’t make me smile, you made me cry” Namu pouted

“I’m sorry Namu,” Nam Young said as she wrapped her brother in a hug, “… please don’t cry”.

“Aaaaaw…” Namjoon’s heart was threatening to explode with warmth in his chest. His kids were so different. Their personality was always the opposite. While Namu was more reserved, anxious and introverted, NamYoung was a child that goes to meet everyone and adapt easily to every situation. This morning was not different. If he was being honest, Namjoon was more scared for his son’s adaptation than for his daughter’s. But looking at the duo now, he feels a little assured that Nam Young will be there for her brother if needed. She may not know how to help him yet, but she tries and it makes Namjoon proud.

“We’ve arrived kids… Jin is already parked. Let’s go”.

Namu hesitated to untie his belt. It’s his sister that did it for him and as soon as Namjoon opened the car door, the little one jumped in his father’s arms. It’s with Namu sitting on his forearm with his little arms wrapped around his neck and his face buried into his neck, and Nam Young proudly walking by his side (but still needed to hold his hand) that Namjoon joined Jin. The latter helped his friend to carry their belongings and the quinquet walked their way into the school.

As they walked towards the building, Namu’s grip tightened against his father’s neck.

“It’s gonna be okay Namu,” Namjoon reassured his son with a small pat on his back, “ Appa is not going anywhere. I’ll stay with you today, remember?”

Namu nodded but didn’t seem to be convinced. The closer they went to the school, the more tense he felt his son against his chest. And by the time they reached the gymnasium, where the event was taking place, Namu burst into full blown tears.

“I want to go home!” He insisted between tears, “Bring me home appa! Please.”

Watching his son melt down into tears broke Namjoon’s heart. The group stopped before they could enter the venue and Jin led them to a quiet corner where they hoped to help Namu feel at ease. In the middle of the crisis, Namjoon heard your light footsteps coming their way.

“Oooh, what do we have here?” A soft and cheerful voice asked, “I was waiting for you guys, to complete my class” you said.

Too engulfed by his son and too anxious to notice anything, Namjoon merely looked above his shoulder and turned his attention back to his son when his cries intensified. At the side, he noticed Jin approach you, but didn’t heard the conversation you had together. It’s only when his daughter said “see you later Namu, come and join us when you feel better” did he realise that something was going on.

“Would you come with me, Mr Kim?” he felt your hand on his forearm, trying to catch his attention. “I think it will be less stressful for Namu to be in a quieter place for now. Come on”

“Nam Young…” Namjoon enquired, now turning towards the source of the voice. It was a young woman probably in her mid twenties. She had a bright and an understanding expression on her face as she spoke to Namjoon.

“Your daughter is okay, she left to meet the other kids with Mr Kim,” you said, “she even said bye to you and her brother. Come with me, please��.

Namjoon nodded and the duo followed you in a daze. You entered a light and colorful classroom filled with small tables and tiny chairs. There was a rocking chair in the middle of the class, 15 cushions on the floor. Books everywhere.

“Namu… can you look at me please?” you asked the little kid. He lifted his eyes and with a tiny sob, he looked at his teacher.

“Annyeong Namu. I’m Y/n. I’m so glad that you are here, I needed help this morning because I didn’t have the time to prepare everything” you winked at Namjoon. “I will be your teacher this year and this is our classroom”

No answer from the little boy. Sensing that Namjoon wanted to interfere, you made a sign to signify that you were in control. You needed to bond with the little boy, you know you will have him sooner or later.

“Namu, I worked all week to prepare this class for you guys. But I am not sure if it will be perfect. Would you like to help me with something?”

You had to think fast. You wanted to occupy the little boy so he would forget he was sad. Very often, the tactic worked in the past.

“No, I want to stay with Appa,” He sniffed.

Namu didn’t agree, but at least he answered you so that was a good beginning.

“But your appa will help me also, we will use him, of course” You winked knowingly at Namjoon.

Looking around the class, Namu looked suspiciously at his teacher.

“I think it’s pretty enough as it is,” he told you with a skeptical face.

With a tinkle of a laugh, you turned to face Namu snuggled up in Namjoon’s arms. This was probably when Namjoon realised there was something nostalgic about the woman in front of him. Something he couldn’t quite place or point a finger at. But, at the same time, he couldn’t quite shrug the feeling of the warmth, the familiarity that your laughter made him feel.

“Aaaaw, thanks a lot Namu!” You cheerfully smiled, “You think that our classroom is pretty! I worked so hard to prepare it all, you have no idea how it looked like, before I came in. But I didn’t lie to you though, I need your fathers’ arms. Can you get down and let him help me with the boxes you see there?”

You pointed a finger at some boxes piled up in a corner of the class. “See this? I would like your appa to give me the box that is in the middle. They’re too heavy for me. Why don’t you come with me, shall we discover what’s inside together”?

Curious, the little boy looked at his father for his authorization. Namjoon gave him a reassuring smile and told his son “Shall we help miss Y/n Namu? Come on,” and he walked with his son still in his arms towards the boxes. When he arrived, he gently put him down, the little arm of Namu lightly sliding along Namjoon’s neck. Curious, the little one looked at his father taking the first box, putting it on the floor and going that way until you said “Yes, this one. Please bring that box on the table”.

Namjoon smiled at your answer. There was not a single box that was heavy enough for you not to be able to carry them. He found that you were clever as he could see the strategy you used there.

“Here you go Miss Y/n! The box was so heavy, no wonder why you needed me with it” he smiled.

“Thanks Mr. Kim. Namu, wanna come and discover what’s inside with me?”

Curious, he ran towards the table, the excitement slowly replacing his anxiety.

“One, two, three… Tadam!!!” you exclaimed as you placed your hands on top of the box and opened it together with the little boy. Namu's smile grew big.

“Woah! This is figurines! I didn’t know I could play at school! I thought I was only here to be serious all the time!”

This time, you laughed for real, a big belly laughter that made Namjoon doubt again for a moment. Somewhere inside his head, he feels like he knows this sound, this person. But at the sametime he’s not so sure if he does. There’s a part of him that wants to ask and put an end to his curiosity but at the sametime, there’s another part of him that doesn’t want to make a fool of himself if he got it wrong. Then again, it wouldn’t be such a surprise if you turned out to be someone he knew. The world is small after all. Scratching his head, he observed you while you talked to his son. He wished his mind was working at full capacity right now but unfortunately, it was not the case at all. The anxiety caused by the big event today paired with the lack of sleep of the last weeks barely left him a working neurone. One thing was certain though, this woman in front of him loves kids and has the twist with them. You seemed to be a loving and caring person, empathetic enough to take time to create a bond with an anxious little one. Namu will be at ease in no time with you, he already seems to be. It was a relief.

“You thought we would never play?” You huffed, clearly surprised, “What’s this idea? Namu, you know what? With me, we will always play. We will use games to learn. And when we are tired of learning, we’ll play just for fun! But, but, but, you will learn so many things! You won’t even realise and you will learn. We’ll also have more serious moments of course. Tell me, do you have those figurines at home?”

“I have some, but we couldn’t buy all of them, they were not available anymore”.

“Ooooh!” you blinked at Namjoon “I have my ways to collect toys. Wanna place the figurines on the shelf you see over there? I don’t know the best way to put them. Should I sit them? Should I group them? See? I really need your help!” you said, turning to Namu.

“YES! Let me do it!” Namu lifted the box and dragged it in front of the shelfs, not realising the box was actually really light. “Shall I use the top or middle or lower shelf?”

“This is why I need you Namu, I don’t know what will please the kids. Do as you want, we’ll bring more boxes, I have more figurines”

“Yeah” the boy exclaimed happily, his eyes shining like glitter.

Turning to Namjoon, you murmured lower enough so Namu won’t hear you.

“Here we go Mr. Kim. I thought it was a good idea for him to be in his little bubble before he meets the other kids. At least, now, he will be more comfortable with his environment, it’s less overwhelming for him. I know, I was the exact same at his age” you told him. He softly gazed at his child trying to arrange the figurines as he pleased by the shelves. “When he’s ready, we’ll go to the gym where the other kids are. Want me to go check on Nam Young while you watch over him?”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not, wait”.

A short minute later, you came in and sat by Namjoon’s side as he was watching over his son with proud eyes.

“She and DaMi are already entertaining the crowd!” you smiled at Namjoon “Mr Kim is with them both, he said to take your time with Namu. So, no worry. We have a little time before I need to go there”.

“Thank you, Miss Y/n,” Namjoon sighed, relief clearly flooding through his mind and his body. His shoulders finally slouched and he let his body relax in the chair he sat in.

“Tough morning?” You asked, judging by the demeanor of the man in front of you.

Namjoon nodded, then smiled at you, “It was. It was the first time I’m going to part with my kids for a relatively long time. I’m excited for them and proud of them. But at the same time, seeing Namu so anxious broke my heart. He’s a sensitive kid, quiet and reserved. But bright and kind at the same time.”

“I can understand Mr. Kim,” You reassured him, “Maybe not understand all the nuances of being a parent but my students are like my little babies too. Please, don’t tell them I called them babies” you laughed.

“Oh lord,” Namjoon mixed in with the laughter, “I called them that this morning and they didn’t like it.”

“I can tell,” You giggled, “Anyway Mr. Kim, rest assured, your little ones are safe with me. I will always care for them and make sure they’re surrounded by a healthy and loving atmosphere while they’re at school.”

There wasn’t anything more Namjoon could ask for. It seemed that you knew how to create a bond with kids too, judging by how Namu was now playing with the figurines as he placed them. He was certainly more at ease. And as it looked like you were about to get up and go towards Namu, Namjoon finally couldn’t help but ask what was on his mind the whole time.

“Miss Y/N,” he called out to you, as he scratched his head for the nth time that day, “I apologise if this may sound weird or come across as rather creepy. But, have we met somewhere before??”

“Finally!!” You exclaimed to which Namjoon appeared startled, “ Of course we met before! I was waiting for you to recognise me!”

“...”

“It’s me Y/N from Seoul University”, You continued, “ We met from time to time during our university days”.

Namjoon still looked confused.

“Wait, remember HyunNa? She was a common friend of ours. Sometimes we met with a bunch of other people. I always loved talking with you, I have to say. You were so brilliant and kind compared to her other friends. Maybe you left a better impression than I did” you said but you didn’t seem mad at all. In fact you were smiling brightly.

“Oh wait!” It finally dawned on Namjoon, “You’re that Y/N?!”

“Yes! Have I changed that much?” You giggled, “You finally recognised me!”

“Sorry,” Namjoon laughed, “I do remember you but damn, you changed a lot! We met often at the parties. Although neither of us are the kind to party.”

“I think this is why we found ourselves together sitting outside sipping at our drinks and reflecting on the whole wide world, while the other danced and got wasted! ”

“And those midnight ice cream trips with our friends!”

“Yep! Ice cream was the best! That was my kind of activity”

“Gosh, those days seem so far away. Anyway, I didn't think I would meet you like this after years. It’s a pleasant surprise though.”

“I’m glad too, to be honest. Plus, I’m gonna be the one who takes care of your twins. What a faith!” You said, smiling fondly at Namu.

“They were good times,” Namjoon said, a soft smile adoring his lips.

“It certainly was,” You said, nostalgically, “I wonder how the others are doing right now.”

Once Namu felt at ease with his surroundings and after a while of catching up, Namjoon and you decided that it’s time to regroup with the others at the gymnasium. By the time the three of you entered the gym where the main festivities were held, the school party with the other kids had already started. Once you made your way towards the other teachers, Namjoon joined in with Jin and the other parents.

“A moment of attention please,” the physical education teacher said. It was Junkook, your colleague. “It’s time for everybody to meet with your group. Would you please group in front of your teachers please, parents follow your kids. We’ll take your presence and we’ll have a short time to get to know each other before the games start. Let’s go meet your teachers guys”.

Jungkook came to you as soon as his speech was done. You had missed the welcome speech and he wanted to tell you how it went.

“Is the little one okay, noona?” He asked, concerned.

“Yes, he was just a little shy,” You said and then added, “You took good care of my class while I was away, thanks Kookie.”

“I did, of course. And they can’t wait to meet you, they didn’t believe me when I told them I was miss Y/N,” He pouted.

“Aaaaaw! You said that? Thank you so much! You’re the best!”

“My pleasure. Luckily, you have a bunch of single fathers in your class,” Jungkook smirked, “for the single lady you are, you’ll have plenty of choices. If needed, I may help you all year long with this group, they are all pretty cute and I may get lucky with one of the dad’s myself,” He shrugged.

“Jesus Kook! Calm your hormones” you laughed. “I’ll talk to you later” you smiled at him. Ever Since he joined your school, he was the most popular among kids. Funny, dynamic and respected by everybody. You even found in him a little brother that you never had.

“Okay guys, I’m sure you all met Jungkook? He will be the gymnastic teacher this year. You can call him Kookie.”

Kids squealed and applauded, already under his charm.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you before but here I am now. And I’m so glad to meet you. Now, before you arrive, I have memorised all your names and I would like to put a face on your names. Who do we have here?”

In addition to Kim Namu, Nam Young and Kim Dami, Namjoon and Jin’s kids respectively, there were Min Jae Hyun and Min Hyun Seok, two bright kids of a young couple, Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok. Then there was Park A-Reum, daughter of a really charming man Park Jimin, whose beauty turned the heads of everyone in the gymnasium from the teachers to the staff and the helpers. There was Kim Sang Jung, whose energy was more chaotic than an atom bomb. He came with his equally chaotic uncle, Kim Taehyung. There was also a cute but extremely turbulent little girl named Kwak Bo Young whose parents didn’t bother to come for her first day of school, she came in class with her angelic cousin named Lee Min Ji. Both of them were not accompanied and they soon found themselves under Jimin and Taehyung‘s protective wings. These were the kids mainly under your small class.

“Woah! What a wonderful group I have this year! I’m sure we’ll have so much fun together!” you told them. “Before we start the games, your gym teacher, Kookie and I have arranged some snacks, so be sure to try them and enjoy yourselves. Parents too, can eat as much as you want”

Namjoon along with Jin looked around the gymnasium, taking in the whole atmosphere. Their kids have long ago ran towards the snacks leaving the two behind.

“This place is not bad,” Namjoon mused to himself, “I was pretty anxious yesterday. But somehow after this morning and right now, I feel at ease.”

“I know what you mean,” Jin added, as he signed Namjoon to look in front of them, “I don’t think we have to worry about the kids anymore.”

Sure enough to Namjoon’s amusement and happiness, both their kids seemed to have made friends with the others in their group. It was probably then, that he caught your attention and briefly sent you a smile along with a small wave.

“Ah I see,” Jin mused, smiling to himself.

“See what?” Namjoon asked.

“You know, the teacher,” He shrugged, “I saw that.”

“Saw what hyung??” Namjoon asked, still oblivious.

“I noticed a certain someone who seems all smiley and bubbly around the teacher,” Jin remarked, an amused expression masking his face.

“What do you mean, hyung? Bubbly? I just waved to her,” Namjoon said, exasperated. And when Jin didn’t budge, he added, “Okay, fine, I knew her from college. We weren't exactly close, but hung out with the same group of friends”.

“And?”

“And what?”

“And?”

“Okay fine! I probably had a tiny bit of a crush on her back then!”

At this Jin’s smile grew wider and wider.

“No no no, I know what you’re thinking and don’t you go there Hyung!” Namjoon exclaimed, “It was long ago and now’s a totally different situation.”

Jin continued to smile and looked like he wasn’t convinced but didn’t say anything more. Namjoon just continued being exasperated by his friend.

At the same time, on the other side of the Gymnasium, Jungkook approached you.

“So… what about you and Mr Kim?” He asked you as soon as you were both out of reach of the children.

“There are 3 Mr Kim in my class. You’ll have to be more precise”

“The one with the hot thighs” He smirked.

“What about Namjoon- ah?” You asked, not even realising what you just said.

“DAAAAH!” he laughed, pointing at you. “You know exactly who I’m talking about, how’s that”

“Oooh…. Well… Why do you even ask about him, there is nothing about him” you shyly answered.

“3 years now, I’ve known you for 3 years and I have never seen you blush when a parent waved at you”.

“I didn’t blush” you said, feeling your cheeks with the back of your hand. “We knew each other back then. There is nothing about him or anything. Leave me alone Kookie” you pouted.

“She’s shy, how charming” Kookie said as he laid a hand on your shoulder “I think that your red cheeks speak for themselves. Oooh, wait” and he left as fast as he arrived, little A-Reum coming his way with her appa and little Min Ji.

Looking at Kook squatting down to be at the same level as A - Reum, you smiled to yourself as you watched Kook put a bandaid on the finger of the little boy.

Soon, the games began and you didn’t have much time to think about Kim Namjoon anymore, the kids taking all your attention. They were all charming but certainly will keep you busy this year. They involved themselves in the activities with every inch of enthusiasm and energy that was hidden in their little bodies. It was a fun filled day both for you, the parents and their children. And just like that, time flew and in the blink of an eye, the day came to an end. The kids, and even Namu who was so hesitant, were disappointed to go home, but you assured them that they will be back tomorrow and it’s going to be filled with fun like today was. With hopes of looking forward to the next day, and the year ahead, the kids and their parents bid you a good bye.

****************************

“Are you sure about it hyung?”

“Oh course I’m sure,” Jin insisted on the other end of the phone, “I promised Dami I’ll bring the twins with us. She wanted it, you don’t want to disappoint my daughter, do you?”

Namjoon chuckled.

“I certainly don’t want to make my little princess sad,” He sighed, “Okay then… Are you sure you can handle the three?”

“YAH Kim Namjoon! Who do you think I am?” Jin remarked faking a playful offence, “The day is already planned and you approved all the activities we prepared. Just take that day for yourself and relax. I don’t know how long it’s been since you had a day without responsibilities. Take that time my friend, and enjoy it. You need to recharge your batteries and the kids are really happy about it all. It’s a win win situation.” Jin reassured his friend. “No worry, I know where to reach you in case anything happens”

“Yes, please. I will keep my phone with me. Call me if anything happens. Anything, okay?”

“Yes Namjoon heard you loud and clear, now stop worrying and have fun. Trust your hyung on this one, I got your back.”

Namjoon felt reassured and was even grateful for Jin’s idea. This is when he heard him laugh and say.

“Maybe you can even call the cute teacher and have some good quality time together with her,” He smirked, “I told you many times, she blushed looking at you thrice that day”

“Hyung!” Namjoon exclaimed, “She did not! And that’s all in your imagination!”

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

“Nope. No sir.”

“Yes it is.”

“Fine hyung, whatever lets you sleep at night,” Namjoon signed exasperated knowing his friend won’t relent to him.

Jin didn’t say anything but his laughter was enough to tell Namjoon that he was clearly enjoying this teasing. Ever since he learned of Namjoon’s little university crush on the teacher of their kids, Jin made it a point to tease him relentlessly over it every chance he has got. Now, Namjoon just learned to let Jin have his moment.

Soon after this, Jin along with Dami, dropped by to collect both the twins. Namjoon bounced around the house double checking everything just to see if the kids had everything they needed. Honestly, everything was already prepared but at the last moment, he felt hesitant. Thankfully, Jin reassured him. He now loaded all their belongings into Jin’s car with his help, hugged his little ones one last time, breathing in their smell, and made sure they’re properly seated in the car.

“Uncle Jooooooon” Dami happily called him “Can I have my kiss goodbye too?”

“Sure thing, my little princess” He opened the car door he had just closed and hugged her little frame, careful not to crash anyone with his weight. “Have a good day Dami.”

“You too uncle.”

And then with a final goodbye from both Jin and the kids, the car zoomed off into the distance.

It’s been quite a while since Namjoon got time for himself. Whether it was to just walk around aimlessly or watch a movie by himself or anything of that sort. In addition to the time, the weather also seemed to work in his favour. It was a clear day, with the blue of the sky peering over the millions that walked the planet. There were hardly any clouds but it also wasn’t very sunny or hot. Just the perfect weather for a stroll along the bed of the Han river.

Namjoon sighed, leaning into the touch of the breeze that passed him by. It’s been five long years since there was any moment of peace. Ever since the day his twins were born, everyday was a jumble of rollercoaster rides for him. Not that they were bad. He certainly did have days where he was stressed, where he thought he was going to snap from the pressure of it all. But most of all, the rollercoaster ride was still welcome. His kids mean everything to him and without them, he probably couldn’t have gotten to where he is now. The hours he spent caring for them all alone, watching them grow and bloom into beautiful human beings were certainly worth all the fatigue that had accumulated over time. After all, he will always have time to rest later.

And as he sat there lost in his thoughts, he soon noticed a familiar figure sitting by a tree and reading a book. Upon closer inspection, Namjoon realises that it was you, his longtime friend and a teacher for his kids. You didn’t notice him, you were too engrossed in your book, your brows furrowed from the seriousness of what was in the story, your mouth upturned into a pout. It brought a little smile on Namjoon’s face, because it was something he was used to seeing back when you both were in university. From the little bits he knows of you from here and there, and of the times you hung around, books were a constant. Never in his life, he thought he would meet you again or feel this familiarity once again.

As he continued to notice you and take in your presence, a soft breeze blew by you, whipping your hair onto your face. It didn’t seem like it bothered you though as you continued reading despite it. And when it happened for a second time, it was when you finally tucked your hair behind your ear and looked up to meet Namjoon’s gaze.

“Namjoon - ah” you murmured, more for yourself. You were not quite sure if he was really in front of you, still engulfed in the emotional part of the story you just read. It was when you heard his deep velveteen voice that you knew it was not your imagination.

“What a nice surprise” he softly giggled before he walked towards you “It’s nice to see you haven't changed at all after all these years. It’s nice to see you like that, like before”.

This was when he noticed what Jin was teasing him with for weeks now, the pink on your cheeks that he’s quite sure you never had in your university years. More so, around him.

“Oooh! You mean, reading all alone in my little corner?” You chuckled, “Yep! This is still how I spend my off days. My friends wanted to go for a bicycle ride but after being surrounded by people all week, I needed some quiet time”.

“Haha, I know what you mean, I’ll leave you then” Namjoon shyly said.

“No! I didn’t mean it like that. I’m actually happy to see you, come sit with me” you pat the place close to you.

“You sure?”

“Yep! Of course”

With a blinding smile, he walked towards you and sat close by.

“By the way, where are my babies?” you asked him with a concerned smile.

“Oooh, out with Jin hyung and Dami. It’s the first time I’m on my own. They will even sleep there, if I don’t change my mind and join them or kidnap them. Because they were so happy about their day, it would be a kidnapping” he laughed. “They have planned to sleep in a homemade tent on the terrace of Jin hyung’s building, I mean…. Quite an event, right?”

“Aaaaw! This is so cute!” You exclaimed, “Don’t you dare bother them” you teased.

“Yeah, we’ll see if I can stand it tonight,” Namjoon sighed as he gazed towards the sky.

“And how is Mr. Namjoon spending his day so far?” You asked playfully, wiggling your eyebrows.

“To be honest, they just left and I was just wandering around. I feel useless,” he chuckled, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Aaaaw! Single dad, not being used to being by himself” You cooed, “I’m glad that you have this day though. It’s good for you”

“You don’t have kids right?”

“Nope, it’s still impossible for a single woman to procreate by herself” you laughed, “Unless it happens by a miracle.”

Namjoon snorted at that. Strangely happy for a reason he can’t fathom. But then he also wondered,

“How do you spend your free time? Then again, how come you’re single?” he asked, almost surprised.

Looking up at him through your eyelashes, you wondered what he meant for a moment.

“This is a question I ask myself too, Namjoon -ah,” you broke into a laughter, “Where is my prince charming, I wonder!”

“Aaaaw!” he smiled at your cuteness.

“Well, to answer your question, I spent my free time with whatever I want to do. I don’t ask myself how to spend my time, I just do what I want. Then again, it’s easy for me since I have no children yet. This is what you should do today. What do you, Kim Namjoon, want to do today?”

“What if I say, I want to go have ice cream with an old friend like the old times??” Namjoon asked, “Will she agree to it?”

“This is a very good idea. You go ahead, call her” you playfully winked at him but at the same time, you were already closing your book with the same page holder you used back then, Namjoon noticed.

“I mean you, pabo!” Namjoon whined, “I don’t think I have many people I know around here or consider anyone else to be an old friend.”

“I know!” You exclaimed happily, “But wanted to tease. Oopsie.”

“Let’s get going then shall we??” He said, smiling as he stood up and reached a hand to help you. His hand was big and his grip soft but strong. You felt happy that the connection with him didn’t seem to be lost after so many times apart.

“You won’t have that horrible flavor again, right?” Namjoon asked you with a pout.

“You remember what I used to eat?” you asked him, surprised.

“How can I forget, it’s kind of noticeable”

You laughed, delighted that he remembers, for some reason.

“Let’s see if my tastes have evolved enough to meet yours” you answered. Ice cream flavor was always a subject of playful bickering between the two of you. Never on the same page when it comes to choosing it.

As you walked along a little path along the river with Namjoon on your left, you looked up at him to meet his soft smile. When did he become so handsome? He was always a beautiful person inside and out but somehow along the way, as he aged, he became even more beautiful. How come you never noticed it back then? And how was this something you noticed after all these years?

“Appa doesn’t have a lover” you remembered Namu telling you and Kookie, last week “he said his priority was me and Nam Young but I would like to have a mother” the little boy had pouted cutely.

“You have a really good appa, Namu” Kookie had answered “he’ll meet the good person for him and for you guys one day. But the fact that he’s taking his time to do so is really good”.

The class had started and you had to leave the subject like that but it kept running in your thoughts today.

“Namjoon- ah”

“Hmmmm” he said as he looked down on you, his dimples shyly flashing on his cheeks as he smiled.

“It will be the only thing I’ll say about your kids because today, I’m not their teacher, I’m your old friend. But I found it amazing how a single parent could be able to raise such beautiful human beings. Namu and Nam Young are so lovely and brilliant. They learned to care for one another but they also care for the entire class, including me. It’s easy to say that they received a lot of loving attention and that they were in a stimulating environment. I love them so much. If you ever doubted, I want to tell you that you did a good job at parenting them. I… I’m impressed”

“Oooooh” he blushed “Thanks Y/n, I mean, it was not always easy but they were my number one priority all the time and I certainly cared a lot for them.”

“You prioritise your kids over your own needs, I mean, it’s remarkable. I found it really amazing”.

“Thanks Y/n… for me it was the only thing to do”.

“It would have been the same for me, too, you know” You said as you gazed into his eyes, then shrugged, “But it’s not that obvious for everyone else I guess. I met a lot of egoistic parents in my young career, unfortunately”

Namjon’s eyes were captivating. Again, something else that you never noticed before. Maybe there were times you did notice that. Some moments in passing when you both were in university. Or some nights when you were drunk and stared a little too longer into his eyes. But you never gave it much thought back then. In fact you can count the number of times you felt something but shrugged it off immediately, thinking it wasn’t a big deal or blaming it on the alcohol. But why tho? Was it because you were already seeing someone? Was it because it felt wrong? Was it the guilt? In hindsight, It was probably the guilt that made you focus on something else. But now, as you stared into his eyes, you can feel the familiar warmth stir in your chest. A kind of warmth you’ve never felt for anyone in years after you last broke up with your ex.

“Anyway,” You abruptly turned your head to face forward. Somewhere at the corner of your head, you can feel the blush creep up your cheeks and for some reason you felt embarrassed that Namjoon might notice that, ”I think I’ll have chocolate ice cream today. I don’t feel like ‘fighting’ with you.”

Namjoon busted a laugh at that, he has a really pretty smile, “You know what,” He said, “Have whatever you like, I’m not going to judge you on that today. I just like teasing you.”

“Aaaah, Kim Namjoon! You’re such a meanie!” you pouted, then chuckled, “It’s good, I.. It’s good”.

What’s happening to you? What’s this good feeling of meeting up with an old friend and connecting just perfectly again. At the same time, what’s this bubbly, sparkling sensation tickling inside? What was that? Why so suddenly?

“Look at that,” Namjoon pointed as he came to an abrupt halt. You were so lost in the chaos of your emotions and bubbling feelings that you didn’t notice when Namjoon stopped, didn’t hear him talk to you or point at something. With your mind in a haze, you walked right into him. The tall and broad shoulders, perfect him. It was so sudden, that the collision surprised you and in an effort to steady yourself, you tried to find the right footing. But that only led you to further losing your balance and before you could blink, you found yourself falling face first onto the ground. You tightly closed your eyes, bracing yourself for the impact.

But before, you could even realise what was happening, a strong arm quickly snaked around your waist and lifted you up from falling. You don’t know how he managed to do that but you found yourself facing Namjoon, securely held in between his arms, his hands away from you in a respectful manner. As you looked up at him, your eyes met his. His perfectly shaped, deep coffee brown eyes that stared right into your soul. They were so tender and soft, that you could feel yourself sucked right into his gaze. In this moment, you didn’t mind the ‘respectful’ manners and with the excuse of holding yourself still, you placed your hands flat on his chest. His heart was beating way faster than the calm that was emanating from his firm stillness on the outside.

“Namjoon- ah” you smiled at yourself, feeling a sting of warmth in your heart, “Why is your heart beating so fast? Were you so scared that I might have fallen down?”

At this very moment, you couldn’t imagine that he could have been feeling the same warmth at your contact. It was so sudden for you, so inexplicable. Namjoon didn’t answer, he just stared at you. He too was so lost in the moment that he didn’t realise the kind of hold he had over you, nor did he realise the position you were in. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine that he would get such a close look at your face. And when you spoke, things suddenly fell in place. His eyes went wide as the realisation kicked in. His face turned a deep shade of red as he finally let you go.

“I...I’m sorry,” He smiled sheepishly, “I didn’t think.”

“What are you sorry for?” This confused you further. But decided not to dwell on it too much, “You saved me from face planting myself on the floor, thank you,” You laughed.

If saying that Namjoon was starstruck was an understatement, saying that he was spellbound would be too underrated. You have an enthralling laugh. Namjoon remembered the first time he heard it back in the university, he thought it had a distinct sound to it. Like the distant chime of a bell, like birds chirping in spring. And even now if you ask him, he would say it still had the same ring to it. Had the same effect on him. If he was being completely honest with himself, he would admit right here and right now that this sound you make when you burst into laughter, he would like to hear it every single day for the rest of his life. It just made him feel light and bubbly, calmed him down.

“You know what Y/n?” he asked as he collected himself

“What?”

“I want to make a bet with you”.

“A bet? What kind of bet?” you looked at him, not sure what he was about to propose.

“See the tree over there? The one close to the ice cream stand? The last one that arrives there has to pay for the ice cream. What do you think”

You smirked, as your expression changed in the blink of an eye and rolled up your sleeves. How did Namjoon forget how competitive you can get when bets were involved.

“Bring it on Mr. Kim!” You exclaimed as you jumped to prepare yourself. “You’re so gonna have to pay for me!”

For the nth time that day, he was reminded of how much you didn’t change over the years. How much the same old things excited you or brought a spark in your eyes.

“No way I’m paying! I’m so gonna beat you in the race!” Namjoon challenged you right away.

“Sureeeee,” You chuckled, “Says the same guy who lost all the time back at uni and paid for everyone.”

“You remember??” Namjoon asked, taken by surprise.

“How can I forget? I had a couple of free treats, thanks to you” you laughed “I mean, who will say no to free ice cream, han? You better get ready Namjoon- ah! I’m on fire today. I might be smaller than you, but I’m way faster. Ready?” you asked, still warming up your muscles as if you were preparing for an olympic competition.

“Aaaaw” Namjoon cooed “you didn’t change at all. Okay, on your marks…”

This is when things became serious for you. You position yourself in order not to miss the departure, not a single bit aware of Namjoon’s tender expression. The more he looked at you, at your cuteness over the simplest things, the more he felt endeared at you. You probably may not have been aware, but Namjoon let you start ahead of him and he ran right after you. Always making sure he kept a step behind.

When your hand finally touched the tree bark, you turned around and did your little happy dance exclaiming that you won. Just for that Namjoon thought he was in fact, the real winner here.

“I can’t believe that you won” he exclaimed but it sounded so fake, you became skeptical. Panting from the effort, you managed to say.

“Namjoon- ah! You cheated! I can see you let me win! Why?” you frown, pouting. “You’re not even breathless, how is that possible?”

“Aaaaw! Have I let you win?” he asked, dangerously close to you. “I don’t think I did! Anyway, ice cream is on me today… again”.

You studied his face for a moment. He didn’t seem a tiny bit deceived that he just lost a bet. He even had a warm smile on his face, his dimples on full display. You pouted even more.

“Namjoon-ah, you let me win. I know you did”.

“Of course not. I ran like my life depended on it”.

“Yeah! Yeah! Sure, I believe that,” You stared back at him, your eyebrows knitting on your forehead, your eyes in a squint.

Your breathing was much calmer now, and you were able to speak normally. Namjoon felt himself too entranced by you, if he continued to look at you like that, he didn't know what he could do. Instead of kissing you like his guts were claiming, he leaned towards you and poke your forehead.

“Ouch” your fingers traced the spot Namjoon just poked. It was so sudden, that it took you by surprise. But at the same time you couldn’t help being fond of it.

“Namjoon-ah! You meanie!” You pouted “You let me win and now, you’re hurting me! I don’t follow you this morning” you laughed, “Why are you like this??”

“I believe that you should not ask that, little miss. This might be information I want to keep top secret”.

“Oh Oh! look at you,” You playfully teased, “All cool and mysterious, keeping information to yourself,”

“I heard that mysterious people are very attractive,” Namjoon remarked as he puffed out his chest, “Does Ms. Y/N think that mysterious people are attractive?”

You smiled at him, looking straight into his eyes. He was so handsome, a mix of confidence and doubt. He was himself the incarnation of Adonis. The greek god of desire and beauty.

“Hum… let me think about it… Nah, I am personally not attracted to mysterious people. You know what seduces me?” without realising it, you got lost in your own thoughts and you had no filter anymore “Intelligence is seductive. Kindness is seductive. When someone is really caring and tender, this is really attractive, at least to me. If the person has dimples, broad shoulders, a beautiful smile and thighs… omg, if he has muscular thighs I’m a lost case”

Namjoon, who’s brain usually malfunctions when you’re around, has now completely stopped functioning. He just stopped in his tracks staring at you, his eyes wide. Trying to process the words that just left your mouth. It can’t be true is it? It’s too good to be true is it? But he just heard them. Straight from you.

You stopped walking on the spot, realising what you just had said. Your eyes went wide and it seemed to Namjoon that the blood had left your face before that beautiful pink colored your cheeks once more.

“I mean… I…” You stuttered, which was unusual for you. A hint for Namjoon that your brain too, was malfunctioning. “I mean, dimples are universally attractive, right? We… Aren’t we all attracted to dimples? I mean… Oh well, I think I’ll just shut up now” you blushed. You were red from the top of your head to your toes.

“I’m pretty sure it’s just you, who found it attractive,” Namjoon teased you. He couldn’t help himself, he needed to make you laugh again. His heart was beating loudly inside his own chest and he could very well feel the blush creep up his own cheeks. But that’s a story for another time. For now he just wants to see you smile at the very least. But instead of a smile, you got shy and it melted his heart.

“Namjoon-ah… I was just…”

“Say no more, Y/N, I just love teasing you”

“Yeah, it’s better if I just stop talking” you sheepishly smiled at him “The good thing is, you will pay for my ice cream today so I’m gonna take the bigger portion I ever had”

“You can buy the entire shop and I still won’t mind paying for that” Namjoon grinned.

Your heart was beating so fast and you felt so light. You never felt like this before near anybody else other than Namjoon, even back in uni. Was he flirting with you? Were you flirting with him? What was happening? How’s this even possible? Not even half an hour ago, you were alone, reading against a tree. Now you are with the most handsome and interesting man that you ever met and both of you seem to be fond of each other, at least you hope you were not imagining this.

You were probably standing there staring at him, the familiar blush dusted on your cheeks that your mind didn’t get enough time to process it when Namjoon took your hand in his, like it’s no big deal. Like it’s something of a usual occurrence to him, to you. And when you finally came to your senses, you couldn’t help but feel his hand. His soft but tough skin, his long fingers and the way they intertwined and laced around your own. The warmth of his grip, the tingling sensation that every point of contact sent through your skin. You were no longer sure of what’s reality or what’s an illusion.

The day couldn’t have been more perfect for Namjoon. This morning, he wouldn't have imagined it would turn out so beautifully. Walking hand in hand with the person he held a crush for over the longest period of time. If anyone would ever tell his university self that he would be walking with you while holding hands, he would have probably laughed at that person. But life does have weird ways of coming in a full circle. And here he was. The anxiety of being away from his kids was long gone. He did think of them, of course. But he was in such a peaceful and happy place, he didn’t have time to be overwhelmed.

You walked around for a while like that. Stopping for your ice cream once and then making a few more stops as you both tried some street food here and there. And between all this, the walking, the eating, the picking out food stalls, you both couldn’t stop talking to each other, couldn’t stop the bickering. It was a while since any of you had so much fun. Been a while since you both felt so light and bubbly. Particularly with another human being, an adult specifically. Nothing about today was planned beforehand but the day was nevertheless full of remarkable moments. Small moments that you never want to forget.

****************************

“So this is it then,” Namjoon’s words jolted you out of your thoughts. Surely enough, you could see your apartment come into view from a distance. The day surely flew by. And probably for the first time, you were disappointed by the thought of having to return home yet. Beside you, Namjoon didn’t seem to let your hand go either. His grip on your hand was as tight as it was when he first held it.

A little sad that you will soon have to go separate ways with Namjoon, you looked at him. His features were half hidden by the darkness that already fell on the city. Sensing your gaze on him, he looked back at you with a tender smile on his face.

“What are you thinking of Namjoon?” You asked, an equally tender smile on your face.

“Thinking?” Namjoon asked, “Nothing really. Why?”

“You had such a soft smile on your face,” You shrugged, “So wondered what got you smiling like that.”

“Ah, that’s because I had a good day today. I’m happy I got to spend all this time with you.”

You probably weren’t expecting this answer from him, so it was a bit surprising and also made your heart flutter thinking about how you were the cause of that smile. He, too, made you happy today. Very happy.

Guided by the desire to stay with Namjoon a little bit longer, you let your hand secure in his and with the other one, you gently laid your fingers on his forearm as you continued walking. It was not something that you planned to do, you just felt the need to hold onto him. He didn’t react to this but his already wide smile grew wider, if it’s something that’s even possible.

“We’ve arrived” you stopped in front of your apartment building “I live here”.

Namjoon didn’t say anything but stared at your doorstep, lost in a daze. It seems that it still didn’t fully dawn upon him that it’s already the end of your day together. And when he didn’t say anything else for a while longer you just gave him a small nudge waking him up from his reverie.

“This is so funny,” He remarked, “I walk in front of your home almost every single day when I go to work, yet I never imagined you lived here. Life is full of surprises”.

“Oh yeah?” You giggled.

You both just look at each other, a little awkward, a little shy, unsure of what you had to say. Of what both of you wanted to say. You both knew that the time you spent together today was a million times different than how you spent it before. You can’t really pinpoint what changed or what pushed for this change. But whatever it was, it was good. It was more than just good. It was perfect.

“So….”

“So…”

“You live here…” Namjoon bashfully said and mentally slapped himself almost instantly. Wasn’t it obvious? You had just said you live there. Jin will laugh at him until the next century when he gets to know this.

As he was scolding himself internally, he didn’t notice you tiptoe in front of him. It’s your hands taking a hold on his chest that made him realise that something was happening.

“Oh” was the only thing he thought of saying when he felt your warm lips against his cheek. Less than a second after, he could see your beautiful smile. You seemed to be way more at ease than he was. On an honest note, you weren’t sure what prompted you to do that. But looking at him, it only felt right to peck his cheek in a kiss.

“You’re so cute when you’re mad at yourself Namjoon-ah! You’re the cutest!” you tittered, your eyes bright. Namjoon swore, if he stared any longer he would be able to trace galaxies in them.

And as for you, saying Namjoon was cute was an understatement. You knew he was just as nervous as you. Nervous, happy, excited, overwhelmed and so many other things. It’s like waves crashing on top of each other. Restless, yet everything seemed like it was falling into place.

Under the pale moonlight, you gazed at Namjoon’s face. In contrast to the softness he radiates, his face was full of sharp angles and beautiful lines. He was looking at you with something akin to tenderness in his eyes, his coffee brown eyes, fixated on yours, his brown hair falling over his face. You were tempted to reach out and brush it away. But you couldn’t do anything but standstill and continue to gaze back into his eyes. And deep inside you, a fire burned and crackled.

When you felt him closing the distance between you, you instinctively closed your eyes and clutched at his shirt with your trembling hands. He was so close, you could feel his warmth enveloping you like a comfortable blanket. And with each passing moment, the fire inside you burned brighter. Stomach tangling, ribs crackling, butterflies scattering everywhere.

And just as Namjoon’s gaze dropped down to your mouth, he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you in, your lips tarried at his, baiting each other with the warmth of your breath. And just as his lips gently leaned on yours, a sound to your side broke the charm.

“Hum hum” the old man living in your block cleared his throat. Still not completely coming to your senses, both Namjoon and you sprang apart, half shy, half embarrassed. You then moved on your left, giving the space that the intruder needed to pass by and enter the building.

This is when you noticed Namjoon’s finger, grazing his red and luscious lips at the exact place where he felt you. He seemed as shy and shocked as you were.

“I… This is like an old dream coming true” Namjoon admitted, flustered.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know if I can say it”

“...” you stared at him.

“It’s nothing bad, you know?” he moved from a foot to another, seemingly shy and nervous.

“Then, why don’t you tell me” you had no idea what he was gonna say. All you could think about was the sudden sensation of cold you felt when you had to move back from him. It seems like you belonged in his arms and you wished you could just snuggle up against him as soon as possible.

And the next words that slipped past his lips was probably something you never imagined yourself or ever pictured happening.

“I used to have a huge crush on you while we were at uni,” He said, softly giggling, “I can’t believe I’m admitting that to you years later.”

Surprised, it was not something you expected him to have said, you stared at him blank, your eyes wide open. But then again, there was also no denying the sparks that flew between you back then. All this while, you thought it was only you. But, now you know, he was feeling something similar too. In a way, it was sort of comforting to know that.

When you noticed that his features changed, you realised he might have confused your reaction to rejection. Indeed, when he started to talk, he seemed to have regretted the confession. You didn’t want him to feel that way so you moved towards him and engulfed yourself in his arms.

“Woah Namjoon-ah! I didn’t know at all…” You said, at a loss for words. Equal parts embarrassed, equal parts happy. But at the same time you couldn’t help squeeze his frame between your arms. And in your grip, Namjoon stood still, probably too shocked or surprised for his own good. His heart at that point was slippery and hot and loud. So, so loud.

You both stood still like that for a few moments. It was too surreal, it was like falling off a cliff at a high velocity, unaware of your surroundings, yet still somehow suspended within the moment. And after what felt like ages, you turned your head to face him. When you looked at his gentle features peering at you, you knew what you felt in your heart. You were sure. But wanting to confirm if Namjoon was feeling the same, you ask -

“What about now Namjoon? How do you feel about me now?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.

Namjoon thought it was too good to be true, that the moment was too magical, too perfect. He must have been dreaming and yet here he was. With you in his arms, worried about what he might think, he thought that life offered him the most beautiful gift in a long time. He smiled right back at you as he looked straight into your eyes before he tighter his arms around you. One hand at the nape of your neck, he brought you closer to his chest and kept you there for a long moment, both savoring the sensation.

“Now? Let’s see… It’s beyond just a crush. I feel like… we belong? Isn't it strange?”

“No Namjoon, it’s not strange. I feel the same” you told him, your nose against his shirt, breathing in his familiar scent.

And with that Namjoon giggled in your hold.

“How do you feel about a date next weekend then?” He asked as his fingers delicately carded through your hair.

“Let me see” you said, thinking “I found it’s a very long time to wait! I already cannot wait to be with you… What to do?” you teased “If we talk on the phone meanwhile, maybe I can wait until next week-end” you smiled at him.

“Aaaaw! Of course we can talk,” Namjoon laughed, “I recognise you there. You didn’t change a bit!”

“But it’s how you like me, right?”

“Right!” He smiled and took your hands in his “I also can’t wait to be with you again”

The journey was coming to an end, sadly. You moved back from his arms, tiptoed to kiss his cheek one last time and lingered against him a bit longer than necessary.

“Stay safe Namjoon”

“Yes, you too”

“Sure Namjoon,” you giggled, “I’ll try not to get robbed on the way to my doorstep.”

Namjoon busted a laugh at that.

“Anyway, see you soon.”

“See you soon.”

When you entered your apartment, you couldn’t believe what just happened. Sliding against the door, you sat down on the floor and held your knees against your heart in an attempt to keep it in your chest.

Not even 15 minutes later, still in the same position, you received a text message.

“Kind of think that next weekend is way too far… you were right missy <3”

#namjoon #kim namjoon #bts rm #namjoon fic #namjoon ff #namjoon oneshot #namjoon fluff #father bts #father namjoon #bts #bangtan #namjoon scenario #bts fluff

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