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#and like I get that following classes is important I get it but I literally looked up her schedule she’s got at least four half days a week
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sunlight ☀️
hii it’s me againn. could you also do tasm peter who is nerdy and nerdy reader? and it’s kind of like a meet cute at the library? that’s literally my dream 😔 (you can tell i’m in my spiderman kick again)
-🎀
love a good spiderman kick ☺️ hope you like it!
pairing: TASM!Peter Parker x reader word count: 1.4k tags: just fluff
The exam was next week, and Peter still hadn’t gotten a chance to so much as glance at the most helpful textbook. The only copy the library carried had been way over due for ages, and the damn things were way too expensive to buy. He hoped it would be back by today because the late fees would be so much worse after today’s cut off. So, into the library he strode to look for it for what felt like the millionth time. 
He was sure the librarian remembered him, and which book he was after, after so many attempts, so he went straight up to the desk. Peter raised his eyebrows in question, in hope. He wrung his hands together as the librarian gave him a look he couldn’t quite decipher. “So?” he finally couldn’t help.
“You just missed it,” the librarian deadpanned. How could she be so damn calm? She must know his life depended on getting his hands on this book! Well, maybe not his life, but definitely his grade… important enough.
“What?! And you didn’t hold it for me or something?” “Hold it for you? What do you think this is, kid? We don’t take reservations.”
After a moment, though, she sighed in slight defeat, something akin to pity entering her hardened features. She gave a sideways nod toward the person standing at the other end of the desk. 
“Maybe she’ll share,” she whispered. 
Peter followed her look. His eyes landed on a girl. She looked mortified. Given the books lying next to her open backpack on the desk, she’d clearly been packing them up. At the top of the pile lay the coveted textbook. And she’d clearly overheard his whole exchange with the librarian. 
You lock your gaze onto the books in front of you. You could feel your cheeks warming, and the last thing you wanted was to accidentally make eye contact with this stranger. This ridiculously attractive stranger you’d noticed in class before… Peter Parker… who had clearly had the same idea about the book being returned today…
You feel terrible at having snatched it up just before him. You hadn’t known someone else was after it, too, but you could’ve guessed, and it felt like pure luck that you got it first. You have no idea how to react, and before you can come up with any idea at all, you sense him stepping toward you and freeze in panic.
“Um, hey,” Peter whisper-says. God, why didn’t he just speak at a normal volume? He was in the library, sure, but just the entrance. He’s sure he sounded weird, and that’s the last thing he wanted after his little outburst clearly made you uncomfortable. It wasn’t your fault you’d gotten the book before him. 
Your eyes dart up to meet his at his words, and when they do, his nerves increase tenfold. Your eyes are so damn pretty. All of you is. And you look half way to an anxiety attack at his approach. “Hey, sorry,” he tries. “Sorry, I know we don’t know each other, but I just… Um, well… Sorry about that,” he ends lamely, gesturing back to where his exchange with the librarian just occurred. “It’s okay,” you whisper, smiling awkwardly and tucking your hair behind your ears. You look back down at your hands, pulling at the too-long sleeves of your shirt. 
Peter’s hand comes up to his head, messing with his hair in a typical nervous tick. He can’t stop staring at you, and you can’t stop avoiding his stare. He had to say something else before the mounting awkwardness blew up. Why couldn’t he think of anything? God, why was his heart racing faster than it ever did when he had to fight giant, scary monsters? Somehow you were scarier. 
“Um,” he starts again. “You in, uh, you in Vidal’s biology class?” he ventures, guessing you need the book to study for the same exam as he. It blows his mind he hasn’t noticed you before if you are.
“Mmhmm,” you nod softly.
“Me too,” he says and cringes. “I don’t recognize you.” “Oh, I don’t know. I tend to sit in the back.” You finally look up at him as you say this. Your eyes meet, and it’s too much to handle. After what feels like an eternal instant, you both look away chuckling. 
Peter’s just nodding like an idiot, chewing his bottom lip, reeling for something else to say but failing miserably. At this point, the thought of getting the book has totally vanished from his mind. The fear of failing next week has been completely replaced with the fear of failing right now.  The idea of your walking away and his not getting to talk to you again makes his stomach sink.
You’re just staring at your hands, unsure what you’re supposed to do in this kind of situation. How do people just know what they’re supposed to do when other people are involved? 
You still feel really bad that you got the book first, and you figure he’s only still talking to you to ask when you’ll be done with it. The exam is so soon, you hadn’t really been planning to return it till after. But keeping it to yourself when he needed it too made your stomach twist. You didn’t even know him, but you wanted to help him. So, you mustered the courage to do something you know, from experience, you otherwise wouldn’t do.
You say softly, “If you want… um, I don’t know… maybe, we could share it?”
“What?” he responds, too quickly, confused, his voice nervously airy.
You’re not sure if he didn’t hear what you said — possible with how softly you’re speaking — or didn’t understand what you meant, so you don’t know what to say. Words are too hard, so you just grab the book — your hands grateful for something to do — and hold it up to him like an offering. 
“Oh!” he hiccups. Then, “Oh,” he says more quietly, chuckling lightly. “I mean, I don’t want to bother you. You got it first fair and square.” “Yeah,” you shrug. “But you need it, too, right?” 
“Yeah…” His mind begins stirring up images of the two of you studying together… maybe laughing together eventually… sitting closer together to both get a good look at the book… 
It’s making his heart beat faster, and he realizes he’d be an idiot to not seize the opportunity. It’s the perfect excuse to spend more time with you, and he doesn’t even have to ask you out. Yet. 
So, he quickly says, “Yeah, um, sharing would be great. If you don’t mind. I can just meet up with you whenever you were going to study anyway… Wherever is good for you; I don’t mind; you choose; whatever you prefer is good with me —” Having started, he can’t stop talking now, his nerves morphing into words, eager to leave his body. 
You giggle at his garrulousness, and he knows he’s in trouble when the sound of it makes his breath hitch. 
“Well,” you say. “I was planning to get started now… you know, since I’d been waiting to get my hands on the book. If you wanted to, um, maybe go to the café maybe?” 
You hadn’t in fact been planning to start right away. If you were honest with yourself, you’d been planning to put it off till you couldn’t not… like you always did no matter how hard you tried to get an early start. Note to self: the only cure you’ve found to procrastination so far: ridiculously pretty boys with warm eyes and a voice you could listen to forever. 
“Yeah, that’d be great. That’d be great,” he nods, smiling. It’s the first time you’ve seen him fully smile. You’d be happy to just hand him the book as long as you could watch him study, the exam be damned. 
“Great,” you repeat, grabbing your things and turning toward the café. Your eyes widen in panicked disbelief at what just happened. You glance slightly back just to make sure you hadn’t imagined it, and sure enough: Peter Parker is taking a quick step to follow you. He falls in step with you as you walk, and it’s terrifying and invigorating just how much you like the feeling of him close beside you.
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panspy · 15 days
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hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#i think this is an autism related thing#but i genuinely feel like i wasnt made right for the world we live in#like something is just missing from me that ive never seen ppl talk about#and i know this is going to sound entitled and privileged and i KNOW i know i promise and im so lucky i can even be thinking about this but#it feels weird to have the privilege to be scared#this is specifically in regards to working#like having a job. like going to work#i feel like im missing an extremely important part of my brain or my BEING that is capable ot going through the motions of participating#in society. i never felt that switch of wanting to get a job in high school to make money for myself and get that experience#i feel like there's something i MISSED where everyone took a class on how to apply and go to interviews and write resumes and not be scared#like i NEED to be walked through every SINGLE step because i dont know HOW#and i see my peers and the literal entire world around me participating in this atmosphere and i dont know where to start#im fucking twenty three years old and ive only ever been an intern and an assistant#not even a full year of working#i cant drive and i probably wont ever because thats a whole other can of worms#and that means i have to rely on other people to even get to wherever it was i needed to go#i feel like a fucking child because im missing this knowledge that everyone else seems to have#ive tried i really have but none of it seems simple and its all so much and there arent steps to follow#i mean there ARE but its like 1) look up job 2) apply 3) interview 4) yay you're employed#and im talking about each micro step inbetween#what am i missing#and then theres the fucking demand avoidance that slaps me across the face whenever my mom brings it up to me like i KNOW youre being#supportive and encouraging and its not your fault my brain turns off and decides im full of shame bc i cant CONFRONT ANYTHING#jesus christ#manf i know u can see this maybe dont bring it up to mom i can do that on my own maybe#i WANT to help i just want to help at my own pace but unfortunately the world isnt built around individual paces and nothing revolves#around me. i know this#i want to help my mom i want her to never be stressed about money and to retire and never work or help me pay my student loans but i#genuinely feel like theres a switch that never turned on in my head and im being left behind and i genuinely dont know how to. like be alive
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queenangella · 2 months
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sometimes working together on a thesis is like *she cant do her tasks because she’s busy with following classes I guess there’s really nothing else she does* me: oh its fine I get it I’m busy too sometimes you know if I can help you with anything let me know:)) vs. *I can’t do all my tasks on time bc well i work six days in a week and spend three nights a week doing volunteer work and oh because my thesis partner is apparently once again busy with following classes I guess she dumped all her work on my lap* she: oh you should tell me next time if you’re busy cause these tasks are really important :/ you shouldn’t like let them wait so long
#like yeah bitch I know they’re important that’s why I woke up early Monday morning to handle them but if you remember. I couldn’t cause you#did everything you were supposed to do wrong:)) and#then I skipped my lunch because that was the only time I could make free to fix it but couldn’t :)) bc apparently you didn’t even do it#wrong you just didn’t do it you copied it from someone else whose task wasn’t even remotely the same:)))#and like I get that following classes is important I get it but I literally looked up her schedule she’s got at least four half days a week#that she doesn’t have any classes. I’m making literally every minutes I have time to do these things and she can’t manage to make some time#in those four afternoons???? so she dumps them on my to do them all in the one day of the week I got free and have also other things to do#which forces me to literally not eat and sleep to be able to do them????????#I’m so pissed our meetings are literally like me: ‘oh yeah I’ve got an incredibly busy week but I’m sure if I just work longer in the#evening and sleep a little less then I can make an hour free every day to do these interviews’#she: ‘that’s great that you can make time for that! I can’t cause I’ve got a class somewhere that day so can you do like all the work??’#like if she’s gonna dump me for the statistical analysis I’m gonna literally destroy all the data in my wake good luck doing the actual work#all over again next year#sorry I’m probably overreacting#she’s not that bad but she also needs to shut up instead of criticising bc I’m not doing all the work fast enough while she’s ‘so busy’ all#the fucking time#at least I’m doing the fucking work
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love-fireflysong · 2 years
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I am a technology genius.
Is this about getting my ps4 hdd fixed and getting all my save data back? Unfortunately no (that is still I lost cause I suspect). Is this about taking apart my computer mouse entirely cause the scroll wheel was scrolling erratically? Why yes it is!
And guess who’s scrolling smoothly once again 😎
#did i just follow a youtube tutorial for literally all of it?#um obviously#but the fact of the matter is that i fixed it#god i love doing stuff like that#the software and hardware components of tech is so fun to me#had a unit in highschool once where we were taught to build our own motherboard and solder all the pieces on#and i loved every second of it#was so fucking cool#learning the software portion in uni and how the computer calls to the motherboard and how to draw that was also super interesting#and don't even get me started on the math classes#boolean algebra was the first time i really struggled understanding math in a very long time#so when i finally figured it out after doing some extra practice questions i was so proud of myself#only unit i hated was probability but that wasn't a surprise#i know its important and useful to know but ive hated it ever since middle school lol#sql and java were fun to learn and i probably would have like c if the instructor had actually known how to teach#but he didn't and i was sadly never able to figure it out 😔#and even though i will def def def never get into website development cause css and html and javascript were my least fav languages#the knowledge i retained from that course did at least help me when i had to create my own little texting thing in ao3#only classes i legitimately hated was communications and business#god i wanna go back to university for computer science again so bad#i wanna program video games baby!#make those physics engines and tear my hair out over bugs and errors so bad#one day#one day ill go back and live my computer nerd dreams#am i chris hartley irl?#absolutely not#i just share his fascination with tech and programming and its a big reason why he's one of my fav characters obvs
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beginningofwonderland · 6 months
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Stay Focused - San
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Pairing: university student y/n x office worker San
Genre: smut with plot (MINORS DNI!)
Word Count: 12.5k (I don't know what happened)
Summary: Your mother insists on getting you a tutor for your studies. You want to resist until you meet Choi San, your tutor. His sweet talk and good looks make you focus on anything but your studies and you do everything to finally catch his attention in the same way.
Warnings: San is a few years older (5 to be exact), some nipple play, fingering, some orgasm denial, lots of dirty talk, blowjob (face-fucking leaning), protected sex, mirror sex
The reader in this is so horny omg. Just straight up trash for San (relatable). Also very long build-up.
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"Good is not enough in this family," your mother repeats to you for what feels like the 100th time. „Your grades have to be exceptional if you want to work in my business."
Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you change your phone to the other hand to stir your pasta around. You just told her about your recent test results which of course are not satisfactory to her.
The problem is that you are actually doing pretty good. You never missed or failed a class, you passed all your courses with at least a good score and you had even fulfilled additional classes to broaden the spectrum of your studies. But just like she said: Good is not enough for her. She won't shut up about your grades until you reach 100% in all of your classes - which is basically impossible, especially in your field of study.
"Do you even still want to work in the family business?" your mother asks you provokingly. And the problem is, you do. You really do. Your mother is the CEO of a big pharmacy company and ever since you were a kid you followed her interest in chemistry. You even chose your pharmacy major without her influence. But now that you are taking the same path as her, she is all in your business about being the perfect little mini-her.
"I do, mom. I'm working hard on it, I promise. The next exam is in four weeks and I already started studying."
She makes a huffing sound before answering you: "You said that the last three times as well and still didn't get a full score. You should really get a tutor."
"Mom! I'm the best in my class. Why should I get a tutor? I'm doing great!" You are glad you're only talking to her on the phone so that she doesn't see the way your hands clasps over your face. She can't be serious with you. Getting a tutor with your grades is just embarrassing.
"But not great enough. You know what? The son of a close business partner recently started working at the company. He graduated a few years ago with an honour's degree and seems to be a very promising young man. I'll ask him to tutor you."
Your cheeks start to heat up just at the thought of how embarrassing the whole thing will be for you. Getting a tutor that worked for your mother is literally the worst case scenario. You feel like a high school student that doesn't pay attention in school and now gets scolded for it.
"I do not need a tutor, mom." You state once again but her mind is already made up.
"I'll give him your number and he will contact you. And don't you dare be rude to him, his father is very important for our business!"
You can't believe her words. Since when have you ever been rude to anyone she introduced you to? Your mother ends the call before you can protest any more.
Angrily, you fish a single spaghetti out of your pot to taste it. It's perfectly cooked when you munch on it in annoyance.
--------------------------------
This is Choi San.
Your mother told me you needed tutoring on your pharmacy classes and gave me your schedule.
I can teach you Tuesday and Thursday afternoon from 6PM. Would that work for you?
You fall back onto bed with a frustrated groan as you read the messages. She really asked him. Now you have no choice but agree to him tutoring you because your mother would kill you otherwise.
Typing a reply you take a deep breath. This will be such a waste of time for the both of you.
Hello! Tuesdays and Thursdays are good. Thank you so much.
You hate how pathetic you sound. What are you even thanking him for? You don't want him to tutor you and he was definitely forced by your mother so why even play pretend?
No problem. We can use meeting room 117 at the company since I reserved it for us. I'll see you on Tuesday.
You dread Tuesday every single day from now on. When it finally arrives you feel ridiculous as you enter the large building of your mother's company. You have been here countless times but you never thought you would get tutor lessons here.
Even worse is that your mother made you go greet her beforehand. She specifically texted you to visit her office before the appointment with Mr. Choi. You walk past her assistant with a polite greeting and finally enter her office.
The luxurious room sat at the top floor of the building with a nice view over the city. Sometimes you forget how successful her company actually is. It can be quiet intimidating.
"There you are," she greets you with a mere look up from a bunch of files on her desk. "I hope you prepared well for your tutoring session. Please don't embarrass yourself in front of Mr. Choi. His father is an important business partner of mine and he himself seems to be a very promising employee. I don't want my own daughter to make him think worse of the company."
Of course she only worries about the company. The idea that this is incredibly humiliating for her own daughter does not even cross her mind.
"Hello, mom. Of course I prepared well, I always do. I won't disappoint you."
She nods at you, satisfied with your answer before looking at her watch. "Then you should head to the meeting room. He is always ridiculously early for meetings so he's probably waiting for you already."
Great, you think to yourself. You hoped you would be able to grab a coffee beforehand.
"I'll go right away. Bye, mom."
You walk to the elevator with heavy steps and check your own watch. It's still fifteen minutes until 6PM so there's plenty of time to grab a coffee before, no matter what your mother might say.
Entering the elevator you select the floor of the meeting room with the plan to walk to the coffee pantry first. Half-way down, the elevator stops on a different floor. When the doors open you almost choke on your polite "Hello" as your eyes take in the person in front of you.
Walking into the elevator is easily the most attractive man you have ever seen in your life. Dressed in a tight pair of dark pants and a perfectly fitted dress-shirt the handsome stranger repeats your greeting with a small bow and a mind-numbingly attractive smile. His eyes carry a little glimmer even behind the round pair of glasses he wears and as he pushes back his black hair you feel like swooning.
You have to keep yourself from staring when he takes his place in the elevator and both of you wait for it to move. Just now you realize he hasn't pushed a button, which means he is heading to the same floor as you. Out of the corner of your eyes you can't help but watch him.
He is a few inches taller than you but appears even bigger due to his broad frame. You wonder where that man even finds clothes that fit his stature with his broad shoulders and tiny waist. He checks his most definitely expensive wrist watch before looking at the display counting down the floors.
When the elevator doors open with a ding, you almost jolt. You were so caught up in thinking about how good he looks that you didn't even notice arriving on your floor. The handsome man gestures for you to step out first with another deadly smile in your direction.
"Thank you," you barely breath out as you step out of the elevator in front of him. It feels like the air outside is ten degrees colder. Without looking back you head to the pantry of the floor. You need a coffee even more than before now that you can only think of that guy from the elevator. There is no way you can concentrate on tutoring now without some caffeine.
The benefit of being the CEO's daughter is having a card with unlimited access to the coffee machines so you happily press the button for a black coffee. At the familiar buzzing sound you can finally relax and take a deep breath. No man has ever made you so flustered before just by existing. Maybe you should visit the office more often if that was the kind of employees your mother hired.
Taking your coffee into one hand and your study bag into the other you turn around to head to the meeting room. Caught up deeply in your thoughts you almost run head first into the person behind you.
"Woah, careful there. You don't want to spill that coffee do you?" his voice is smooth like honey, with a joking tone to it. You blink up at him a few times before you find your words.
"I'm sorry. I was distracted."
The man from the elevator smiles at you and you feel your body warming up from the inside out.
"Don't worry, nothing happened." He looks you up and down quickly before holding eye contact once again.
"Excuse the question, but do you happen to be director Kim's daughter?"
You stare at him in confusion. "Yes. Yes, I am. How did you know?"
He moves past you, grabbing a cup from the pantry himself and turning on the coffee machine before he answers:
"You share her eyes. But more importantly, your bag has a pin of the pharmacy faculty of the university and because I'm supposed to meet her daughter for tutoring on this floor in - " he checks his watch again: "exactly 12 minutes, I figured it might be you."
You are impressed. His looks are already enough to have your eyes turn into hearts but there is probably nothing that makes a man more attractive to you than his wit. But what hits you even more than that is the fact that THIS was your tutor.
I take everything back mom, I love tutoring. Sign me up for another year.
"Well, you figured correctly," you reply weakly, at a loss for words. "Nice to meet you Mr. Choi."
You put your cup on the pantry table to reach your hand out to him. He takes it with a smile.
"Nice to meet you too, Miss Kim. I was going to get the two of us some coffee but as I can see you already helped yourself."
Oh, so he's a gentleman as well.
"Next time you should let me take care of that," you said showing him your free access card. "I happen to own the key to infinite coffee."
"Does the caffeine addiction come for free with that as well?" You chuckle at his joke.
"I think it's the requirement to get it in the first place."
"Well then I will happily let you get us coffee next time."
Next time, you think. The reality that you will be seeing this man on a regular basis hits you.
For a second the two of you just smile at each other. Then Mr. Choi notices that his coffee is done and he grabs the cup.
"Let's head to the meeting room then. I wouldn't want to waste your time."
You sir, can waste my time any day of the week, you think to yourself but obviously keep silent as you follow him to the room.
He holds the door open for you and you settle down onto one of the meeting chairs. You always hated these things. They are designed to make you sit upright and therefore terribly uncomfortable. You desperately want to fold one of your legs under yourself like you always do at home but you have a good image to keep. After taking a seat across from you he puts his bag onto the table and looks at you expectantly.
"So what topics exactly are you struggling with? It's been a while for me but I'm sure I can help."
"To be honest with you, I don't really need help on anything."
San raises his eyebrows behind the round glasses on his nose. "What do you mean?"
You sigh, not knowing how to explain this dilemma best. "My mother made me get a tutor because she believes I need better grades. In fact I'm the best of my year with perfect attendance and an average of 95%. She says that everything under 100% is not enough which is why she must have thought of you as a tutor."
San just stares at you with a peculiar look on his face. He looks almost impressed from your words.
"I knew director Kim could be quite strict but I had never imagined that extent. I'm sorry she made you do this, a 95% average is very impressive in the pharmacy field."
"Says someone with a perfect 100% graduation," you snap back, a little more spiteful than you want to. But San doesn't seem to take it the wrong way. Instead he chuckles in response. The sound sends shivers down your spine, his voice dipping way lower than you had expected it could.
"Trust me, that wasn't all brains. I only know my way around people." You don't doubt that last statement for even a second.
"Maybe instead of teaching I can give you some tips around the university. That would probably help you more."
Now you are interested.
"What kind of tips for example?" You lean forward resting an elbow on the table as you pick your cup of coffee up for a sip. It's still burning hot but you pretend you didn't just burn your tongue as you set it back down.
"Does Mr. Han still do the medicine lectures? He's been using the same exam template for years. Pharmacy students are just to selfish to share the results with the younger students. I'll look for my old exams later to give them to you."
Your mouth opens in awe. Everyone from the year above had told you Mr Han's exams were the hardest and it turns out they were just lying to intimidate you. The competition was real.
"These fuckers," you mumble beneath your breath but judging by his chuckle, San heard you just fine.
"Sorry," you excuse your language immediately with a small nod. He is still an employee under your mother and she told you explicitly to act well around him. Hiding your uneasiness you go for another scolding sip of coffee.
"Don't worry, darling. I won't go complaining to your mother about your language. You don't need to be her perfect little girl for me."
You almost choke on your coffee and have to force the liquid down your throat with an effort. You really wish they didn't but his words made your insides squirm. The amount of money you'd pay him to call you 'darling' again is surely an embarrassing amount. But good little girl also didn't sound too bad from his mouth.
"Thanks," you mumble, not knowing what else to say and stare onto the table to hide your flushing face. If you look at him with those slutty, round glasses right now, you're sure you'll combust.
You don't notice, but Mr. Choi eyes you up and down carefully before he resumes speaking. He smiles at your flustered state that obviously doesn't escape his sharp senses. Seeing your pretty face flush from only these few words, satisfies him deeply.
"Then how about that toxicology class? If Mr. Lim still teaches it, I know a few ways to get on his good side. He always picks favourites and it shows in the grades."
Mr. Choi continues listing off ways to better your grades around your professors. You can't help but be impressed. Not only is he obviously very intelligent but also great with people. Maybe what kept you from exceeding in your studies was your rather reserved nature in class.
"How about this," Mr. Choi finally proposes after teaching you some of his ways. "I'll get you my old notes and exams and with that you will surely ace all your tests. Then we can meet up for these tutoring sessions and while you study in peace I can get some work done. This way your mother is happy and we both profit from the situation."
You nod without hesitation. "That sounds like a great idea. Thank you so much, Mr. Choi."
He groans at your words, a sound that makes you react in a way you don't even want to put into words.
"Please don't call me Mr. Choi when we're alone that makes me feel terribly old. My name is San."
"Aren't you older than me though?" you ask back carefully. It doesn't feel right to call him by his first name.
"If 5 years are old to you?" he inquires with a slight teasing edge to his voice. You don't know if he's flirting with you or if you are just becoming a witness to this man's effortless social skills.
Truthfully, you are 22 and 5 years more don't seem that much to you. Still his way with words and the confident aura around him make him seem more mature.
"I didn't say old. Just older."
He rolls his eyes at your stubbornness, leisurely resting one of his elbows on the backrest behind him. "Just call me San, darling."
There it is again. That word single-handedly turns you into a blushing mess within seconds and you find yourself agreeing without another thought.
"Okay, San."
A satisfied smile spreads on his face and you marvel at the dimples that form on his cheeks. "Much better. Than how about you do some studying and I'll get some work done now?"
"Sounds good," you reply and start taking out your classwork. He could've told you to start stripping right now and you would've agreed without question. Damn you are down bad for him already...
It is a weird situation at first. You are used to studying around strangers in the library, but sitting alone in a room with San makes it hard to focus on your upcoming test. His eyes keep flicking from his work laptop across to you and you don't know if he's interest in the topic you're studying or you.
You yourself on the other hand are surely interested in him and you can't help but steal a few glances at him working diligently at his laptop every now and then. Even typing on his keyboard looks ridiculously hot on him with the way his slender fingers run over the keys.
After about two hours of you trying to keep your eyes on your notes San finally closes his laptop and stares at you until you reciprocate his look.
"I guess two hours is enough to make your mother think you studied, right?" he asks with one corner of his mouth slightly lifted.
"Sure," you respond weakly.
"I'll look for my old tests and will bring them on Thursday," he goes on as he stands up to pack up his laptop and bag. You also start gathering your study books.
"Thank you again," you answer lamely. But the promise of already seeing him again on Thursday excites you.
When you proceed to grab your now empty coffee cup his hands react quickly as he snatches it from you.
"Don't worry about that, I'll put those away," he's leaning over the table now, smiling at you through slightly closed eyes and you can't help but be entranced by his looks. "You should make sure to get home before it's dark outside. Want you to get home safely."
"Don't worry about me, I'll manage."
"Oh but I won't if something happens to you and your mother finds out you were last seen with me," he replies cockily as you two finally go to the door.
You have to chuckle at his remark. "Good to know I'm not the only one terrified of her."
"Everyone is terrified of her," he mumbles under his breath but you are already reaching the coffee pantry - aka your cue to go home.
"Can we use the same room on Thursday?" you ask as you stop in front of him. You make sure to brush your hair behind your ear in a nonchalant manner, knowing it shows your good angles.
"Yeah, I already booked it," San replies easily, eyes fixing yours from above. "But let's meet at the coffee machine here. I want to at least take advantage of that free coffee if I give you all my study secrets."
He winks at you at the last part of the sentence and it makes your insides twirl like on a rollercoaster. You give him a small smile through fluttering lashes. "So that's what you meant with a win-win situation: Endless coffee. Well it looks like I don't have a choice but to be your personal coffee machine."
You want to punch yourself right after that sentence leaves your mouth. How much more stupid could you possibly sound? Personal coffee machine. Saying you wanted to be his personal slut would have been less embarrassing.
But San doesn't seem to mind your awkward response. "Sounds good to me," he replies smoothly. "Then have a good ride home and I'll see you on Thursday."
"Until Thursday," you reply before you can say something stupid again and stroll off to the elevator with a small wave.
As soon as the doors close behind you, your head thumps against the steel wall. There is no way you will get any studying done with that man in the same room as you.
---------------------
Your next few meetings with San go on smoothly. You are always on time but he is still earlier than you, waiting for you at the coffee machine. You get both of you a coffee - sometimes two if you feel like it - and you two get to work in a comfortable silence sitting opposite to each other in the meeting room.
After San brought you his old exams you can now prepare exactly what you need to know for your next tests. But no matter how hard you try to focus on your studies, your eyes keep wandering from your books up to the handsome man working on his laptop.
You soon notice his seemingly endless closet full of tailored dressing shirts and perfectly matching pants. He always looks immaculate, not a single wrinkle on his shirt and his hair always neatly combed back. Even his skin is flawless to the point that you start questioning if Choi San might be a figment of your imagination.
Just like his outer appearance, his manners are immaculate. Like you already noticed on your first meeting, he is a sweet talker. Always knowing the right thing to say and never letting your conversation end in awkwardness.
Whenever he feels like taking a break you notice him starting to talk to you. At first he asks how your studies are going. Then he wanders off to the professors you two shared and how he managed to ace all his classes.
Your whole attention is glued to his lips. For one thing because the information he can provide you with is crucial to your academic development but much more importantly because his lips are the prettiest thing you have ever seen. They look so plump and smooth while he's talking that your mind can't help but wander to the other things he might be able to do with them besides talking.
If at your first meeting you were down bad for Choi San, one month later you felt like you were drowning and he was the last bit of oxygen left on earth. You wanted him with a passion that you didn't even know you were capable of.
But you couldn't have him. There was too much at stake. He still worked for your mother and if you made a move on him that he wouldn't reciprocate you would risk the eternal hate of the only woman that still held control over your life. And so far San hadn't shown any sign of feeling the same way about you that you did for him.
„You're stuck on that?" San suddenly asks you over the page of biochemistry that you've been staring at for a solid five minutes. You haven't spared a single thought on the topic in front of you. Your mind is only occupied by the thought of San leaning over you on the meeting chair, your chin in between his slender fingers as he smirks down at you. You hate him for having this effect on you when you so desperately need to focus on your studies.
You really need to get your thoughts together.
„Oh no I was just getting carried away," you answer, looking at him pointedly with a sly smile.
You tried little attacks like this on him before. A casual pull down of your shirt, stretching your arms to make it ride up over your stomach or even looking directly at his lips as he spoke. But no matter how daring you get you can never catch San slipping.
His eyes stay on yours only whenever he looks at you, his tone is always polite and never goes farther than a casual joke. You simply can't draw a single reaction from him and it drives you insane.
„Do you need a small break? We could get another coffee," he offers helpfully.
I don't want a damn coffee I want you to fuck me on this meeting table.
"I'd love to, but I'm already way too warm today. I fear the AC can't fight against the heat anymore."
It has gotten exponentially hotter over the past days and you can feel it even inside the modern building.
"You're right, it's quite hot in here," San says with a disappointed face. "What a shame we don't have iced coffee. We should get some on Tuesday!"
His eyes light up in excitement and this little sliver of pure happiness doesn't escape you. It's surprising how cute he can be with that shamelessly hot body of his.
"Do you know a place near?" You ask to drag on the conversation. You yourself know at least 3 cafés in the area that sell iced coffee but you want San to tell you a place. Maybe his favourite. So that you can go and think of him.
"Yes, I can show you!" he answers proudly.
"I'd love to." You send him a gentle smile with long eye contact before both of you look back at your work.
But your concentration withers away like the dying plant in the corner of the room when Choi San begins undoing the buttons of his shirt sleeves.
You know you shouldn't but your eyes immediately watch as his slender fingers start neatly folding up his sleeves. The muscles in his underarms dance beneath his skin as inch after inch of skin gets revealed.
You feel like a medieval man salivating over exposed ankles as you stare at San's arms. The veins are protruding in the heat and his honey skin is glistening under the bland neon lights.
Your heartbeat quickens and it's mostly because it feels like you finally found San slipping. Him rolling up his sleeves is like a crack in his perfect mask and you are certain that he wouldn't do it anywhere else in the company. He only does this because he is with you.
"Shoot," he suddenly exclaims and draws your attention up to his face. You catch the small pout that appears on his lips before he looks back at you.
"What is it?" you ask him.
"I forgot to book the meeting room for Tuesday and now everything is blocked. There is a work event next week. I should've booked it earlier."
"Oh," you simply reply. This is even more confusing. You don't believe that San would ever forget such an important event. Is he trying to get rid of you?
"Don't worry about it, darling." His smirk and the nickname has you fighting for air. "I'll find us something else."
You can only nod at him with a smile. Maybe he isn't trying to get rid of you.
The rest of your study/work time flies by as your mind thinks of all the possible meeting places you and San could have for Tuesday. You feel like a highschool girl dreaming about dates with your crush but you don't care. The man that is supposed to be tutoring you just makes your heart speed up in a way that you haven't experienced ever before.
When your meeting time comes to an end and San starts packing up his stuff he simply says: "How about we meet at my place next time? I don't like working in cafés it's always so crowded and noisy. And I have coffee too."
You snap up at him in surprise at the proposal. "Sure," you reply as nonchalantly as you can at the prospect of going to Choi San's apartment. Alone. With him.
"I can pick you up here with my car after work. So you don't have any extra way."
"That sounds good," you reply with a small smile, trying not to sound too excited.
"Then until next week," he says with one of his handsome smiles and you say your goodbyes before you can turn even redder in his presence.
When you walk onto the elevator this time and the door closes behind you, your heart is pounding into your throat. As the realization sets in that you will be alone with Choi San in his apartment a satisfied smile set over your face. Oh you will use that chance for sure.
----------------------
You spend the entire day preparing for your tutor appointment with San. Something deep inside you tells you that this behaviour is ridiculous but you push this inner voice back down as you play your favourite music and get ready.
You wear your hair in light waves and put on makeup to bring out your eyes but not look overly done up. Your outfit was a tricky matter but you settled on a classic pleated skirt and a tight long-sleeve. Everything about your appearance today lands on the thin line between innocent and suggestive and you are satisfied when you twirl around in front of the mirror.
All you want is one small reaction out of the man that you have thirsted for over the past weeks. If Choi San even so much as lets his eyes scan you up and down, your mission would be successful. Lost in your task of getting ready you almost forget to actually pack your study books before heading to your mothers company.
You two agreed on San picking you up at the company's garage. So you are taking down the elevator to the parking floor and checking yourself one last time in your phone camera before stepping into the parking lot.
Having no idea how his car looks like you pull up your chat with San, wanting to ask him where to go. But before you can type your message a calm voice calls you over from across the parking lot.
"Y/n!"
You turn around to a sight that makes your heart flutter. San is leaning onto his car, a chic black Mercedes. His white dress shirt has one button unbuttoned and his sleeves are rolled up again. His feet are crossed over each other leisurely as he waits for you to come over.
Walking up to him you have to try real hard to look casual and not like your nerves are taking over you with the impending situation of being in the same car as San for an undefined amount of time. Your heart is beating already and he hasn't even called you any nicknames yet.
"Hello, San. You're not wearing glasses today?" you notice in surprise and hope it doesn't come off as too attentive.
"Sometimes I wear contacts," he replies smoothly. "It's a styling decision."
While you love the glasses on San seeing him without has a different charm to it. Almost like he is showing you a different side of him.
"Ready to go?" you ask him to keep the conversation going and you're almost proud of your nonchalant tone.
"Ready when you are," he replies with a light smile and walks around the car to open the door for you.
Of course he opens the door for me.
Before you can get in he also takes your bag from you to store it in the back. You want to refuse but one of his smiles finally makes you give in and you hand him the bag. Finally, you thank him and sit down in the passenger seat. The car looks even nicer on the inside: leather seats and perfectly clean. Something inside you starts questioning where this man hides his flaws since noone can possibly be this perfect at all times.
"It's only a 20 minute drive," San explains as he gets into the driver's seat and turns on the engine. You can't help but watch his hands as he manages the gearshift. But as he turns around to look for obstacles his eyes get stuck on you. For a second you think you got him. That his eyes linger on you for a little too long because you finally pulled a reaction out of him.
"You haven't even put your seatbelt on, darling."
And with that your mind is blank. Simple emptiness.
Before you can react, his hand reaches past you, grabbing the seatbelt and plugging it in. His hand doesn't so much as grace your shoulder for a millisecond but you feel like your lungs are constricting.
"Thanks," you breath out before he finally pulls out of the parking spot. He does that wildly attractive thing where he put his hand on the back of the passenger's seat while driving backwards and you feel like losing it already. How will you survive being in the same apartment with this man. San however seems his usual chatty self.
"I'm sorry again for not booking the meeting room in time. I already reserved it for the weeks to come," he starts talking to you.
"Don't worry. I totally don't mind," you answer and regret it immediately. Did that sound too eager? Something about Sam's presence makes you overthink every single word you say.
"I have a fancy coffee machine at home so I can at least return the favour of you getting me coffee all the time."
You smile at that. It feels like this little inside thing between you two how you always use your company privileges to pay for both of your coffee. San thanks you every single time, bringing up how much you save his day.
"I never thought you were that much of a coffee guy at home too," you say trying to get him to tell you more about himself.
"You're acting like I didn't go through pharmacy as well!" He replies with a slightly sulky tone. "No way to survive that major without getting addicted to coffee."
You chuckle at his response. "That's true unfortunately. So you just carried the addiction into your job?"
"You could state it like that but by buying a fancy machine you can just say that coffee is your hobby instead."
Whenever you two talk about mundane topics like this you can't help but be glued to his lips. To get a glimpse of the Choi San that isn't working over-hours all the time and kept up his perfect image at all costs. You want to find out the details about him. Like how he enjoys his coffee or what colour he might like best.
You continue the drive in casual chatter like this before finally reaching your destination. As San pulls into an underground parking lot of an apartment building your heart rate quickens again. Something about seeing his apartment makes you incredibly nervous.
He tells you to wait inside the car after he lets the motor die down so that he can open the door for you again. Even this small gesture has you wrapped around his finger and you smile as you try to step out of the car as gracefully as you can.
San leads you into an elevator and as soon as the doors close you feel reminded of your first meeting. Of how he took your breath away just by standing next to you in such a small space. And now there isn't much difference. He still makes you just as nervous. But at least you can talk to him now.
"How is studying for your exams going so far?" He asks casually.
"It's okay," you reply lamely. "I'm trying my best."
"You know if you actually do need my help you can obviously ask me," he offers alluding to your deal of him basically just getting his own work done instead of tutoring you.
"You've already helped me so much. All I need to do now is actually study," you say turning down his argument.
You idiot, you think to yourself. You could've at least pretended to need his help.
You wait in silence as the remaining floors rush past you. You're surprised with every passing number, wondering what floor San might be living on. But the elevator doesn't stop until the highest floor.
San let's you exit first which makes no sense to you since you don't know where to go. So you wait for him to show you the way to his apartment.
As soon as he unlocks the door and leads you two inside you curiously scan his place. On a first glance it looks almost exactly like you expected: it's very clean and tidy, the furniture is modern and rather minimalistic and the whole place carries a simple colour theme of black and chrome with only hints of colour. The entrance leads straight into an open living room that connects to the kitchen.
"Make yourself at home at the dinner table," San offers while gesturing at the big, black table that looks like straight out of a design magazine.
You both place your shoes neatly at the entrance of his apartment before you take your bag to the table. As you choose a seat from which you can look outside the gigantic window front, San heads over to the kitchen, getting something from a cupboard.
"Can I get you a glass of water before I make some coffee?" He asks you with a kind smile.
"That would be nice," you answer even though water was not what you were craving right now.
He filled one for you and brought it over before returning to the kitchen. "You want your coffee hot or iced?"
"Iced? This is better service than at the company. You should forget to book the meeting room more often." It's a weak attempt at flirting with him but he laughs non the less.
"So iced it is?" He confirms with you again and turns on his electric coffee grinder after you nod approvingly.
It shouldn't captivate you that much, looking at him while he was performing such a basic task as making coffee. But you could watch him for hours, the way his broad back stretches out his dress shirt. The way he moves around so smoothly. The way the muscles in his arms flex as he handles his espresso machine.
You turn towards your study materials just in time before he faces you again, two iced coffees in his hands. He places one gently in front of you before he sits down opposite of you.
"Thank you," you smile at him extra sweetly.
"Anything you want, darling."
You swear to yourself that if he calls you darling one more time you will throw all rational thoughts out of the window and straddle him right here in his stupid designer living room chair. But for now you settle for a coy smile as you feel your cheeks heat up.
To add to your demise, as San drags his chair closer to the table both of your knees touch for a brief second before he casually changes his seating position. The table is narrower than the one in the meeting room and knowing that your legs are mere inches from another makes you even more delusional. What if he did that on purpose?
After that, all concentration for your studies is far gone. It doesn't help at all that the iced coffee he made you was the best you had in ages and with every sip you keep wondering what Choi San isn't good at.
I just know he fucks good there's no other way, you think to yourself but get interrupted in your thoughts.
"Are you stuck on something?" San asks you and you almost don't even dare to raise your eyes to look at him. A kind of shame overcomes you as you realize what you have been thinking about while he worries about your studies.
You sigh to buy yourself time to find an answer that doesn't include: Yes, I'm stuck because I can't think of anything but your body on top of mine.
"Yeah, I just can't seem to concentrate well lately. Maybe I'm stressed out because of my finals."
It isn't fully a lie. Your finals are approaching steadily and with you thirsting over your tutor instead of studying you are indeed starting to worry.
"I would love to tell you that grades don't matter too much but I know your mother won't agree and I will probably face her anger too if you fail," he laughs at the end of his sentence to lighten the mood but quickly notices he only stressed you more by saying that.
"I'm sorry," he quickly retracts. It feels like the first time you caught him messing up his smooth way of talking which in return makes you smile.
"No, you're right. I just never thought about the fact that she will hate both of us if I mess up. What a way to relax."
"I shouldn't have said that," San again apologizes. "I'm sure you will do amazing though. After all you studied so much."
He finishes his sentence with a wink and you must stare at him for a second like an idiot. Did you just imagine that? Or is he alluding to something? Does Choi San know that you thirsted for him this entire fucking time?
But his further actions don't allow you to think much more.
"You look quite tense actually," he continues. "You know it's not good for your back to sit stiff like this for a prolonged amount of time. Your neck must be hurting?"
You have no idea what he is talking about. And your confusion only grows as San gets up from his chair heading in your direction. Every step he comes closer to you has your heart pumping erratically. Even though you dreamed about him being closer to you and finally paying you more attention you are now paralysed at the situation unfolding. Simply being close to him renders your entire body useless.
San steps behind you and, to your absolute shock and amazement, his hands gently grasp your shoulders.
"To compensate the stress from university I took a physiology course that taught us how to massage tense muscles."
As if to proof his words his thumbs gently start rubbing circles into your neck. The warmth of his fingers seeps through your thin shirt and fills your entire body. It feels like he set you on fire with this simple touch.
All of this cannot be real. This must be a figment of your imagination or you actually fell asleep on your study notes while dreaming about San. But his voice sounds very much real when he resumes:
"You have to relax, otherwise I'll hurt you." His voice drops lower than usual and as he gently drapes your hair over one shoulder to get it out of his way you can feel his breath fanning over your neck. Goosebumps erupt all over your skin.
But amid the fire burning in your veins and your clouded mind you actually manage to ease into his fingers and allow him to loosen up your muscles.
"That's a good girl," he rasps behind you and you know you tipped over the edge now. There is no going back from this. You feel like a doll in his hands. His words are electrifying, leaving you unable to utter a single word, to make a single sound. Your mind is running on a state of emergency. Nothing seems to get to you but the fact that San is touching you.
And oh is he good at it. His hands are pressing into all the right places relieving all the pent up tension you built ever since getting ready for this meeting today. If his fingers are already this good at massaging out your stress you can't help but think about what else they can do.
"How do you feel?" He asks. His voice is still low and his tone taunting, as if he knows exactly what he's doing to you.
"Better," you answer. Your voice is merely a whisper. You sound weak, even in your own ears, and wonder if he even heard you.
"Yeah? Then how is this?" With his question his thumbs dip beneath the collar of your shirt and massage your upper back a little lower.
You can't help but close your eyes. The low tone of his voice, his fingers on your skin and the playfulness of his words. All of this is so overwhelming you can only lean back and revel in his touch.
"It feels so good," you manage to breath out when you realize he asked you a question.
He bends down a little, his mouth now right next to your ear. "Should I make you feel even better?"
He is quite literally the devil on your shoulder. Everything in your body screams for you to say yes immediately. The unspoken promise has your entire body on fire and you almost give in to your desire. But a tiny speck of reasonable thinking pulls you back into the dangerous territories you are moving in right now.
"What do you mean?" you ask carefully. You know that this is everything you wanted for the past few weeks but still you can't help being confused about his sudden change.
His left hand wanders from your back to your chin, tilting it to the side so you can look at him. The look in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine. His pupils are dilated and he is looking at you like he is preying on you. The intensity is something you have never seen in him before.
"You are far too smart to be asking that question, darling," he replies smugly.
"But you were never interested in me?" You ask back and want to hit yourself on the spot. Why are you even asking questions when the man you've desired for weeks finally seems to be making a move on you? But after all he is acting very out of character.
San chuckles, never taking his eyes off of you. "You're so cute. All these weeks that you've been wanting me and now you ask what I'm doing?"
Your mouth opens in shock. So he did in fact know all this time that you were interested in him.
"Don't act all surprised now, darling. You really thought I didn't see the way you looked at me ever since we first met? How your eyes keep focusing on my arms in my tight shirts. How you steal glances at me when you think I'm not looking? I wanted to see how long I could leave you thirsting like this before you would break."
His confession has you gasping as you realize you weren't even faintly as indiscreet as you thought you were. Instead San was playing with you the entire time. Watching your every move.
"Desperation looks so cute on you," he adds with another devilish smile. His fingers continue drawing circles into your back as his burning eyes keep you fixed in your spot. You feel bewitched by his entire presence, like he has cast a spell on you.
"I made all this effort to get you into my apartment so we both don't have to risk our lives by having me ruin you on the meeting table and still you didn't even have a clue. I'm almost disappointed if you weren't so cute when you are surprised like this." A satisfied grin plays around his plump lips, as if he revelling in the taste of this sweet opportunity in his hands. "Now be a good girl for me and finally do what you've been wanting to do for weeks. Tell me you want me."
You haven't taken a single breath since he started talking and as a result your head feels dizzy. It takes a short moment before you can finally form the words that your head is screaming at you.
"Please," you whisper pathetically.
"Please what, darling?" San revels in the way you can barely speak.
"Please ruin me."
You can basically see the fire behind his eyes ignite as you speak those three words. His hand wanders to your cheek, grabbing it firmly. He takes his sweet time to let his thumb run over your bottom lip, eyes trailing after his own movement.
"With pleasure."
Finally, his lips press onto yours in a desperate kiss. They feel just as soft as they always looked to you, but he kisses you with a roughness that is almost contradictory. The combination is intoxicating. As you reciprocate the kiss, heat runs through your limbs in shockwaves.
Suddenly impatient, San interrupts the kiss to pull you up and out of the chair by your arms. Grabbing your waist he manhandles you onto the dinner table instead, lifting you onto the ledge as if it was nothing.
Your hands bury in his hair as both your lips meet again in a rushed embrace. In return, San wedges one of his legs between yours and spreads your knees so he can stand between them. The way he handles you makes heat pool in your core. San has a determination to his every move that makes you want to do whatever he could want from you.
One of his hands still tightly grasping your waist, the other winds in your hair as he deepens the kiss. When his tongue enters your mouth you arch your back wanting to diminish every centimetre between you two. Your head is dizzy, completely overwhelmed by his every touch.
San's firm hands are restless on your heated body. His fingers quickly find a way to shift under your shirt and his thumb draws circles into the bare skin of your stomach. Choi San feels like a drug. His touch just as intoxicating as you always dreamed it to be.
He removes his mouth from your lips only to latch onto the fragile skin behind your ears, kissing his way around your neck. You let your head fall back to give him better access and when he starts sucking on your skin you relieve a small whimper.
You can feel San smirking into your skin as he sucks even more. It's like he has found your weakness and is now shamelessly using it to make you melt beneath his fingers. And it's working so well. Your hands lose grip on his hair as you lose your ability to focus on anything but San's lips on your neck.
"Don't tap out on me already, darling. I'm only getting started," he rasps into your ear in between kisses. You draw in a shaky breath at his words. Your legs feel like jelly even as your sitting down and you just know you won't be able to walk after San is finished with you.
He finally withdraws his lips and for a second just revels in your already dishevelled form: hair messy, red flush to your cheeks and lips glossy from kissing him.
"I'd love to have you on my dinner table but let's take this somewhere more comfortable for now," he says in a soft voice.
Hooking his hands under your thighs he picks you up from the table, carrying you towards his bedroom. Woken up from your trance by the change of motion you suddenly gain back some of your bite. While San is busied with carrying you, your fingers rush to the collar of his dress shirt. Oh how often you have dreamed of popping open those buttons one by one. And finally you have the pleasure to do so. A soft chuckle makes his chest move in front of you as San looks down on your actions.
"You couldn't wait, could you?"
"Why would I?" you reply cheekily as your hand smooths over his now exposed skin. He feels so soft and hot under your fingertips that you don't think you'll ever be able to detach.
San throws open his bedroom door with his shoulder and before you have a chance to take in the room you are thrown onto the plush bed. He follows behind immediately, hovering over you with both hands propped up next to your head. He lets his eyes run over your figure lazily, up and down.
"Don't even know where to start with you," he mumbles half to himself and half to you as he watches your chest rise and fall in heavy breaths. He decides to put on a show, sitting back on his heels and slowly continuing your work in unbuttoning his shirt.
Apart from his skin being exposed the simple act of opening some buttons shouldn't drive you as crazy as it does right now. It's simply the sexiest thing you have ever seen in your life. The way his hooded eyes stay on yours the entire time while one button after another falls open under his practiced movements.
You are moving on autopilot when you also sit up to take off your own shirt. You simply can't delay this any further. As your shirt lands somewhere beside the bed, San lets out a small groan, surprising you. He stopped in the middle of folding down his sleeves.
"How did you know that purple was my favourite colour?" He asks in a raspy voice. His eyes are raking over your deep purple bra with a desire in them that lets shivers run over your skin.
You can't imagine a better way to find out his favourite colour. You only chose it because it accentuates your skin tone but now it feels like fate to you. Finally, you are getting to the edges of Choi San. Getting to know him on a level that you were craving like the air you needed to breath.
"Good intuition," you reply. Your confidence surges under his heavy glances. Maybe a little too much. "Need help with that?" you ask him teasingly with a nod towards his shirt, which hangs open around his toned torso.
As soon as you speak those words you are getting pinned back to the bed, San's hand suddenly wrapped around your neck. He isn't putting any pressure on it yet but you can feel his strength pulsating around your neck. His broad shoulders are taking up most of your vision and with the way he glares at you you just know that you are soaked.
"Don't get too bold with me, darling," he says in a warning tone. "I'm the one in charge."
You look up at him through big, round eyes, lashes fluttering because you have a feeling that it will push just the right buttons in him.
"Go ahead then," you reply firmly. "Do whatever you want to me."
San sits up again and roughly tugs on his sleeves, finally discarding his shirt fully. Then his lips are on yours again in a heartbeat.
You greedily let your hands wander over his now fully exposed upper body. The muscles playing under his skin feel so good as he buries his hands in your hair. His biceps is so big that your fingers can barely wrap around it halfway. You can't get enough of touching his body which so far you only admired in fitted dressing shirts.
San kisses his way down from your lips again but this time he doesn't stop at your neck. Continuing down your chest he kisses the tender skin between your breasts. When he takes both hands to squish your breasts together, burying his face in between, you lose your last bit of composure.
"Please, San. Please just fuck me."
He lifts his head to smile at you devilishly. The fire behind his eyes seems so bright that you're scared it will never burn down again.
"Already begging for me? You're still half dressed and I'm only starting. Have a little patience."
As he finishes his words, his hand snakes behind your back to open your bra in a swift motion. He peels the straps off of you with a new found patience that makes you feel like you are suffocating.
When the piece of clothing lands on the floor, San's eyes are glued to your chest. Slowly, he lowers himself down again, gently taking on of your nipples into his mouth. As soon as his tongue starts lapping at you a string of moans escape you. He just feels so good.
Without ever losing focus on kissing and nipping on your chest, one of his hands wanders to your skirt. He finds the zipper so easily it feels like he has studied undressing you. He pushes it down your legs quickly, leaving you only in your underwear.
As his hand starts stroking your inner thighs, your eyes roll to the back of your head. He feels like a dream.
"Please San. Please touch me," the words leave your mouth in whispers. Silent pleas for him to finally give you what you want.
"Is my darling so stressed from studying that she needs her mind taken off of things?" His fingers trail over your clothed heat as he asks you in a sickly sweet voice. His eyes are focussed on your face, taking in how you crumble beneath his touch.
"Yes. Yes, please," you whimper desperately. Every touch feels like electricity on your skin.
"Want me to stuff you full so you can forget everything you've studied for for weeks?" He pushes your panties to the side, his fingers toying at your entrance.
"Please San..." you repeat yourself weakly. Finally he gives into your pleading and sinks two of his fingers into you. You are so wet that they glide in with ease. You suck in a harsh breath as he begins pumping them in and out of you.
"God you feel so good. Can't wait to fuck you, my darling. Bury my cock so deep into you you forget your own name."
His words make you shake beneath him. You had a lot of suspicions about San in the bedroom due to your extensive daydreaming about him. But never did you expect him to be so vocal and downright dirty with his words. It catches you off-guard and only heightens your pleasure.
San scoots up on the bed a little so his face is hovering over yours again, while he slips a third finger into your heat. "How do I feel?" he asks with a raspy tone to his voice.
"You feel so fucking good, San," you moan in answer. His fingers stretch you out so deliciously and he reaches this spot deep inside you that makes you arch your back with every thrust.
"Yeah, you wanna come on my fingers?" he rasps into your ear now, lips again attaching to your neck, sucking deep marks into your skin.
"Please, San." You feel like a broken record that's repeating the same thing over and over. You grow closer and closer to an orgasm with every motion of his fingers inside you. But San has other plans for you. And when he feels you desperately clenching around his fingers, he pulls them out of you.
"I'm sorry darling," he says immediately, even though his face doesn't display any regret. "But you look so pretty when you're desperate. And I want you to come on my cock when I make you fall apart for the first time."
You feel like crying. You want nothing more but to come and yet him taking it from you only makes you want him more. You would do anything for Choi San.
He stands up from the bed and opens his belt. But before he can take of his pants, he orders you over with a motion of his finger. You sit on your knees at the edge of the bed in seconds, looking up at him expectantly.
He doesn't say a word and only gestures for his painfully strained pants. You don't need any more hints to start opening his pants and pulling them down his legs desperately. You hook your fingers into his boxers too but look up at him once more before continuing. When he nods at you you finally pull them down as well.
You can't help but stare at San's length. He's big, just like you had always imagined and he was rock-hard. When San takes himself into his hand and gives himself a few strokes you open your mouth on your own, sticking out your tongue in anticipation of tasting him.
San starts gently. His other hand weaves into your hair and he pulls you onto his length slowly. You are able to take a good amount of him before his tip hits the back of your throat and you release a surprised moan. San closes his eyes momentarily as he relishes in the feeling of your hot mouth around him.
"Shit, you feel so good," he rasps out before he starts thrusting in and out of your mouth. Your hands seek hold on his muscular thighs and you look up at San through big and pleading eyes. Even though he isn't pleasuring you, this almost feels as good as having him bury his fingers inside you. All you ever dreamed about was him using you just like this and the feeling of it happening is so intoxicating you feel like you might pass out any second.
"Look at you enjoying my cock so damn much, that your eyes are losing focus," San chuckles. He looks down at you in disbelief as you mindlessly swirl your tongue around his cock. "You love being ruined by me, don't you?"
You can only manage a desperate nod and approving grunt as you continue sucking him of. No man has ever made you this desperate. As you look at him from beneath you feel like you have accomplished everything you ever wanted: his hair was dishevelled, his breaths uneven and a red tint painted his cheeks. All in all, Choi San lost his perfectly maintained appearance as you sucked on his cock and to you he looked 100 times prettier this way.
When his thrusts go sloppy, he pulls out of your mouth in a haste before he can come. "You're driving me crazy, darling," he grunts as he catches his breath for a second. In a more gentle tone he resumes: "Lay back on the bed for me, ok?"
You do as he says, laying down on your back in the middle of the bed, your body buzzing with the anticipation of what is to come. San goes to his dresser, opening a drawer to get a condom. 
When he climbs over you he looks at you intensely. But at the same time his eyes hold a softness that makes you feel secure.
"Are you sure about going on, y/n?" he asks warmly. No petnames this time. He wants a clear answer.
"Never been so sure in my life," you reply with a smile and his lips mirror yours as he beams down at you.
Quickly he sits up to open the condom and roll it onto his member. Opening your legs with his knee he situates himself between you and positions his cock at your entrance. One hand on your hip and the other holding his cock, he slowly sinks himself into you while carefully observing your face.
Your eyes flutter when he is fully inside of you and you moan at the feeling. San releases a grunt as well and waits a few seconds deep inside of you.
"Fuck, you're so tight for me, my darling. Don't worry I won't stop this time until you come." And with that he starts thrusting into you. He begins with slow and deep thrusts but as soon as you get used to his size he speeds up rapidly. 
His abs are flexing underneath is skin as he grabs onto your hip and pistons himself into you. With every thrust you can feel him hit this spongy part deep inside of you that makes heat build in your core with a throbbing intensity. Meanwhile you revel in the sight above you: San looks like a god. His muscular body moving above you is almost enough to push you over the edge but what's even more entrancing is his face. His expressions seem almost possessed. Like a demon took over him as soon as he started fucking you, he fixes his eyes onto yours.
"Am I fucking you good? Making you forget all your precious studies?" There they are again. His filthy words driving you down a one-way-road to insanity. "I hope you forget everything so you have to see me even more, darling. Then I can keep on fucking this tight little cunt over and over again."
"Fuck, San!" you moan out, being shocked by his words. His control over you is baffling and you can't help but grow closer and closer to your orgasm with every word.
"I know you like me like that, darling. Do me a favour and come on my cock so I can finally see you lose yourself will you?"
You can't form an answer. Endless moans tumble out of your mouth in increasing volume and San knows he has you exactly where he wants. 
"Come for me."
Your orgasm hits you with an explosive intensity. Faintly, you notice yourself moan at a concerning volume as your high washes over your body. But San doesn't seem to mind. Your legs are shaking and he helps you ride out the feeling with slower strokes. He waits for your breath to slow down again before he leans down to you and places a gentle kiss onto your lips.
"I want you on your knees in front of me," he says sweetly as soon as your lips separate and your head is spinning. Still you manage to get up with the help of his arm beneath your waist and you let yourself be positioned in front of San, your back to him.
Since you didn't have the opportunity to examine his bedroom earlier you only now notice the big mirror on his wardrobe next to his bed. Looking ahead, you can now see yourself on your knees, sitting in front of San.
You look even more dishevelled than you feel: Your hair is all over the place and some of your eyeliner smudged and a handful of dark purple marks littering your neck. Also, a red tint covers your skin, making you look flushed. San behind you smirks as you examine your own figure.
"You look so pretty all messed up like this for me, don't you think?"
His arm wraps around your waist as he leans your body back onto his broad chest. You look tiny in front of his build.
"I'll make you look even prettier," he promises as he sinks himself back into you.
He picks up his intense pace from before and you already feel dizzy again. With his arm holding you tight he is basically lifting you up and down his cock. At this angle he is hitting you deeper than before and you are sure you won't last very long until your next high.
But nothing could've prepared you for the feeling of San winding his other arm around you too, his fingers gently starting to stroke your clit. Your head falls back onto San's shoulder as you give in to the mind-numbing pleasure that starts buzzing through your body.
"Keep your eyes on me, darling. I want to watch you fall apart."
His voice sounds sulky, almost cute. It doesn't match his relentless thrusts and his fingers pleasuring you. It takes all your strength to lift your head again and look at San through the mirror. His eyes are hooded now, a shin layer of sweat making his flawless skin shine in the evening light.
"You make me feel so good," you manage to say as San keeps on pounding into you. You want him to know how he makes you feel. How good he is being to you.
"Am I?" He smiles in satisfaction as he watches your brows draw together with a particularly deep thrust. "You too, darling. You feel so good around me I don't think I can last much longer. But you'll come one more time for me, right?"
His voice sounds so deep and sultry in your ears. "Of course, Sannie," you mumble absent-mindedly. You don't even notice the nickname until he chuckles behind you.
"How can you be so cute and so sexy at the same time? You'll be the death of me, my good little girl."
He places a kiss onto your cheek and that is what finally drives you over the edge.
"Fuck, San. I'm coming," you moan out before your high crashes over you. If he wasn't holding you, you would fall to the ground. You try to hold eye contact with San through the reflection but your eyes keep on shutting as waves of pleasure roll over you. You have never felt such an intensity before.
But San's thrust don't slow down this time. He keeps on rutting into you relentlessly, driving you to insanity. You feel like you're swimming in a pool of pleasure.
"I'm close, darling. Just a little longer," San's voice is pitched higher than before, sounding just as desperate as you feel. You want nothing more but for him to come.
"Please, Sannie. I want you to come so bad."
Your desperate pleas are San's final straw. Clutching your body tight to his own, he finishes with his cock buried deep inside you. You can feel him pulsating in your heat and your moans mix into his grunts as you milk him for every last drop of his cum.
As you both slowly recover San pulls out of you and gently lays you back onto the bed. You can't do anything but catch your breath while he gets up to rid himself of the condom and return to you with a glass of water.
"Drink something," he urges you on and you take the glass from him. He watches you with a tinge of worry in his eyes. After taking a few sips you offer the glass back to him.
"You should drink some too, I'm sure you worked your body more than I did."
He smiles at your words and takes some water too before returning the glass to his bedside table. When he looks back at you there is a heaviness to his gaze that worries you.
"What is it?" you ask.
San takes a deep breath before answering you. "No matter what I said to you before, I actually didn't expect us to tumble into this as quickly as we did right now. And I want you to know that I didn't do this to use you or take any advantage of you."
His hand nervously grabs for the back of his neck. "Actually, I've been interested in you ever since we first met but I fear the tension between us was quicker than both of us."
You try to process his words even in your hazy state of mind. A spark of excitement surges through your body as you realize what he is saying.
"I feel the same, San," you reply truthfully. "I like you. And not just because you're insanely handsome."
You are glad when he laughs shyly at your words.
"So maybe I can take you out on a date that doesn't involve work or pharmacy studies sometime?"
"I hope sometime means this week, because I waited long enough for you already."
After everything that happened this evening, this moment when he smiles at you might be what makes your heart beat the fastest. You can't believe your luck as you look Choi San into the eyes and he leans in for a kiss.
-----------------
"This was a stupid idea," you say to San but maybe more to yourself. "I should tell her alone."
"How will she ever respect me again if I let you do this alone?" San replies worriedly. "She told me to tutor you and now here we are. I will look terrible either way."
You have never seen him this nervous. But after all, your mother has the ability to make everybody scared for their life. You two pass her assistant's desk with a polite greeting as you head straight for your mother's office. She knows you are coming but she doesn't know you're bringing company.
You knock carefully on the door until her voice calls you in. Your mother stays seated as you two enter the room. She doesn't look surprised or confused about San's appearance but rather intrigued.
"Why are you visiting me today, y/n?" she asks simply.
Your heart is beating out of your chest as you prepare for answering.
"I have something to announce to you," you start off as confident as you can. 
Your mother's eyes flick between you and San. "Go on."
"San- ... Mr. Choi and I, we are..." your voice is shaking. Why is this so hard for you?
But San grabs for your hand, linking his fingers with yours as he confidently finishes your sentence: "We are in a relationship, director Kim."
His boldness strikes you as admiring. Maybe he was right about accompanying you.
A silence that draws out unbearably long fills the room. You feel like your lungs are being compressed with every passing second.
Then your mother smiles. It's not exactly a smile of happiness. It speaks more of victory.
"Finally," she announced. "It took you two longer than I expected."
Now it's your turn to be silent. Both you and San are stunned in your places.
Finally you find your voice to ask: "What do you mean, mom?"
She smiles at you in satisfaction.
"You see: Mr. Choi is a good man. He's a gentleman, treats his colleagues with the utmost respect, excels at his job and is handsome too. How could I find a better match for my beloved daughter? But I know you wouldn't be interested if I were to formerly introduce you two so I thought I'd help you in a different way."
Your mouth falls open in shock. Out of all things, your mother purposefully setting you up with San has never even crossed your mind. Your boyfriend seems even more shocked at the revelation than you, his face reddened and a stunned expression on his face.
"So you set us two up?" You finally ask your mother.
"Of course I did! And it worked out brilliantly, don't you think? I'm glad you both came to tell me. Mr. Choi?"
San perks up at her words. "Yes?"
"I assume you will take good care of my daughter?"
"Of course I will," he replies sternly, voice full of sincerity. "I will do everything care for y/n." His words make you feel warm and fuzzy.
Your mother nods approvingly. "Then you two may leave. I still have work to do."
You both nod hastily and thank your mother before turning back for the door.
"Oh, before I forget. Y/n?" your mother asks one last time.
"Yes?"
"I received your test results that you sent me. They look very promising."
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I hope you enjoyed <3 Pls reblog and leave feedback if you can :)
Tags: @voicesinmyhead-rc
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savannahsdeath · 9 months
Note
hii i have a little ellie request. so can we maybe have an enemies to lovers where reader and ellie “hate each other” but in reality ellie just wants to be with reader and she ends up using the strap roughly bc reader didn’t wanna confess after years? (sorry this seems long😭)
i absolutely love this idea omg??
ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER
PART1ONE
part 2two
mdni please<3
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warnings: 18+!! smut, 'enemies' to lovers, strap (r!receiving), mean!ellie kinda??, rough!ellie, reader is also mean at first !!
writers note: i love receiving requests like yall are so creative and idkk its just easier to write a req than my own idea🫣🫣 also this turned out to be longer than i expected (my longest fanfic yet!) but even the anon said it seems long so ig thats how its supposed to be🙏
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It was another PE lesson you hate so much. It wouldn't be that bad, if not the fact that you're in the same team with Ellie. Ellie fucking Williams.
She would get mad at you for every little mistake you made. You absolutely hated her.
You had to admit she was... pretty. Especially when she had the mix of mad and stern expression on her face. Sometimes you provoked her just to watch her insult every little thing about you she could but you didn't mind. You just sat there with a smirk, sometimes making a mockingly worried face to piss her off even more. Sometimes. Sometimes you weren't in mood for that and you'd actually get offended. Sometimes even hurt. But you couldn't really blame her, that's how it works.
This day, you were literally rescuing your team. Every point was because of you. Every 'that was close' situation was only 'close' because of you. But your luck, or whatever made you win, had to run out eventually. You missed one time.
"What happened? Got holes in your hands? Tired? Not so good anymore?" Ellie asked you with that mocking tone.
Everyone ignored your interaction - they knew what's starting and they didn't want to get involved in that.
"I've done pretty much everything for this team, and the only thing you do is complain, Williams." You said and you could feel your temper rising.
Ellie didn't hesitate to respond to that.
"Well at least I don't do a half-ass job like you. You're really so full of yourself, aren't you? Why not just give up and let someone actually capable take over, huh?" She barked sarcastically.
The other team members didn't even try to hide their excitement now, they just sat back and enjoyed the show, even the teacher was having a hard time holding back the grin on his face whenever Ellie came up with a new insult.
And now, there was no going back.
"Oh, I'm sorry Williams, did your precious little ego get hurt from that? Are my skills threatening your so-called pride? Well if you don't like it, suck it up." You shot back.
If this kept up, you were going to end up with another detention for sure. Everyone knew that you two were like oil and water, but nobody really expected you to get into a shouting match over PE class. Especially, not this early in the morning.
The teacher finally decided that it was enough trouble, and he stepped between the two.
"Ladies, settle down! If you can't figure out how to work well together in a simple PE session, then you'll need more than one detention to figure it out. Go sit down." He ordered, and you two sat down, next to each other.
As if following a silent order, all the other students just went about their business and pretended like nothing had happened.
"You should learn how to shut up sometimes." You said quietly, nervously playing with your fingers.
"You should stop thinking you're so damn important." She snapped back, completely ignoring your advice as she stared at you with the same icy cold look as before.
The teacher came over to the two of you and handed you a form, which you quickly read over. "Maybe it's rough but that's what you both deserve after arguing in every single class. And if that won't help... I don't know what will. Someone will check in on you from time to time, so don't even think about anything, understood?."
In short, the file was saying you'll have spent a month after school doing little school works, like cleaning the gym, with her. It was a frequent way of dealing with problematic students in your school.
You weren't even surprised - the teacher was right. Your little bickers were the main gossip topic and there was no way they'll go unnoticed.
Still, you couldn't help but frown.
"You've got to be kidding me." You muttered under your breath. Spending a month after school doing odd jobs with Ellie was literally the last thing you wanted to do. You knew there was some sort of punishment coming, but this was extreme.
Ellie overheard your muttering, and she rolled her eyes. "It's just a bunch of cleaning, what's wrong, can't handle a little hard work?" She mocked.
"And why are you so happy? Maybe you wished to spend more time with me?" You chuckled, finally looking up at her.
Ellie seemed caught off guard, but she quickly recomposed herself. "Who said I was happy? Sure, I'll love to see you grovel and scrub floors while I sit back and relax." She replied in a sarcastic tone.
You decided to press your advantage, and give Ellie a dose of her own medicine. "Aww, is someone actually admitting that they like spending time with me? I'm so honored." You said with an overdramatized fake fluster.
Ellie didn't even let you finish your sentence before she cut in with her usual sarcastic tone. "Pfff, don't get so ahead of yourself there." She chided. Even then, you could hear some slight annoyance in her voice.
Ellie may have been a jerk, but there was something about her you couldn't help but like. You couldn't explain it, but you liked this banter between the two of you.
Oh, who were you trying to lie to? You liked her. You were just good at hiding it.
You were just about to open your mouth to respond to Ellie's last snarky remark, when you were cut off again.
"Enough."
You both turned to see the teacher staring at the two of you. He sounded more annoyed than before, and you decided it was better to stop your feud before you got in any more trouble.
"You two are already going to spend a month together doing odd jobs. The last thing we need is for you to add another week to that sentence." He warned.
You wanted to say something back, but you decided to shut up before the teacher had to make it worse. You and Ellie just looked at each other for a couple of seconds, before you rolled your eyes and got up from your seat.
After a few more classes, the time of  fulfilling your penalty came. You sat down at the gym benches, waiting for Ellie. You waited, and waited, but no one came.
Ellie was faster than you with getting up. She smirked and said; "Well it's not like you actually had anything worth saying anyway, so it's easier for you." With that parting jab, she walked out of the gym.
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You expected something like that from her, so you stood up and a few minutes later you were standing in front of her room. You knocked to the door, patiently waiting for her to answer.
After a few moments, you heard footsteps, before the door finally opened. Ellie stood in front of you, her face as annoyed as ever.
"What do you want?" she grumbled, clearly not in the mood to be bothered right now.
"Uh, hello? We're supposed to be doing the clean-up, remember? You haven't forgotten, right?" You said, trying to stay as polite as you could.
She sighed and motioned for you to come in, clearly not ready to go just yet.
You slowly stepped into Ellie's room, your eyes taking in the decorations and mess. It was clear that this was Ellie's world, but you couldn't help but feel a slight curiosity towards her.
"So, why exactly weren't you at the gym?" You asked, finally breaking the tension. You didn't want her thinking you were here to start another argument.
"I had stuff to do." Was the terse response you were met with, nothing else.
"Yeah, of course." You rolled your eyes. "Your room could use some cleaning too."
Ellie smirked when your tone turned from polite to annoyed when she gave you her response, but you couldn't help but notice that she slightly recoiled when you mention how messy her room was. For someone with such a sharp tongue, she sure wasn't enjoying that same kind of treatment.
"Oh yeah? So maybe we should have you clean my room instead." She shot back.
"Actually, boarding school is still school, so that'd count too." You smirked, not so sarcastically anymore. You'd really rather stay in her room than running all over the building with a mop and dirty cloths.
Ellie raised one eyebrow at your reply, clearly not expecting you to just accept it without some kind of snarky remark or argument.
"Alright then." She replied simply, and she walked over to her bed and started to clear out the clutter. You couldn't really deny that her room was in a pretty messy state.
You explored the room, looking for something to start with.
Just then, near other scattered clothes, you saw feminine underwear. Clearly not hers.
"Um, Ellie..." You laughed. "Who's this?"
She walked up to you, not seeming surprised or embarrased at all. "I dunno. There's lots of girls visiting." She smirked.
You knew the smart thing to do would be just to drop the topic, but your curiosity got the best of you. Just who was Ellie Williams hanging out with?
"Really? And how many of them leave a pair of underwear in your room as a souvenir?" You asked, trying to keep a straight face, but you couldn't help but be amused by the situation.
Ellie just laughed, and you couldn't help but grin at her confidence in that moment.
"If you're asking if I'm dating someone," Ellie said, looking at you with an amused expression, "then no. I wouldn't call it dating."
You knew Ellie was always too stubborn and proud to just admit it normally, so you decided to push her just a little bit further.
"So it's not just a single person then? What's it? A new girl every day?" you asked with a smirk, knowing you'd hit a nerve there.
The slight flicker of annoyance on Ellie's face told you that you'd hit the mark.
"So what if it is? Are you jealous?" She teased in response, just adding fuel to the fire.
Now, she had the smirk on her face, and you just knew you'll regret what you started.
"Not really. Everyone knows you fuck every girl in the school anyways. Well, almost every." You suggestively pointed at yourself. "That's honestly sad. You should focus on one person, don't you think?"
Ellie took this as a challenge, she just couldn't resist it when you made yourself the exception.
"Oh, you think you're a special case? How cute." She snickered, and you couldn't help but feel somewhat pleased with that response after how much you two had been annoying each other for the past month.
"What do you think, should I consider dating you? It seems like you're interested, isn't that why you keep sticking around?" She asked, looking at you, knowing very well what kind of effect her words were gonna have on you.
"Me? Interested? You're the one finding excuses to talk to me every day, even if it's just another argument!" You shook your head and looked down, trying to hide that your smirk turns into a honest smile.
You felt Ellie's eyes studying your face as you tried to hide your genuine happiness, you tried to play it off, but you knew that it wasn't working in your favor. You couldn't even deny it, because it was true, you were interested in Ellie. Maybe not at first, but after spending time together, you grew to like her, her arrogance, her wit, the snarky smile on her face... and her eyes.
"Oh, so you do care!" She quickly cut in, sensing your weakness as your smile grew.
"Come on, don't tell me you've been enjoying this little game of ours, haven't you? Don't you look forward to it every day? Don't you love the adrenaline that kicks in when you're about to say something that's bound to start an argument?" She asked, taking a step closer to you and lowering her voice.
You could almost see the sparks fly as the two of you stared at each other, both feeling the tension in the air. You were almost tempted to take her up on the offer, but your pride got the best of you.
"You're just full of yourself, aren't you? Thinking everybody craves that attention." You said after taking a deep breath.
Ellie just smiled and walked straight to you, getting up close and personal.
"Well, I know you want it. So stop putting up a facade and admit it."
"I'm not like these sluts you fuck, Williams." You said, trying to keep your voice steady and calm.
Ellie just smirked in response. "You're right, you're not like them. You're better than them. And maybe you are a little special, considering how much you manage to piss me off everyday." She took a step back and looked you up and down. "I kinda like it." She said, and you couldn't help but feel your heart rate go up a little when she said that.
You just stared back at Ellie, not really sure what else to say in this situation. Both of your egos were too big to give the other one satisfaction, and neither would be making the first move.
She finally spoke up; "Your turn to be honest now. Admit you're into me."
She was awfully close to you now, daring you to say something.
"Don't push it, Ellie." You told her confidently, and even though you really wanted to say it, your pride was holding you back from admitting it.
Ellie just smirked and moved even closer to you, until her face was just an inch away from yours. "Say it." She whispered.
You felt your heart pounding faster as you just looked at her, not able to break her stare.
You shook your head. "No way."
She just chuckled at your response. "I knew you'd say that. And now, I'm gonna make you say it yourself."
Before you could even comprehend what was happening, Ellie pulled you close, just enough to make your lips meet. You just stood there, completely stunned by how bold she was, but at the same time, the feeling of her lips against yours was so new and so good as well. You hadn't felt this type of rush before, and you didn't want it to end.
You couldn't stop yourself from letting out a gasp followed by a moan into the kiss, which made her even bolder.
"I'll show you how lucky those so-called by you sluts are." She whispered after pulling away from you, but not for long.
While Ellie's mouth aggresively covered yours, you felt her slowly pushing you towards the bed.
You were barely able to think now, as your adrenaline was pumping through your whole body. Your back hit the mattress, and Ellie continued to push you down as she climbed up onto the bed on top of you.
That's when it hit you.
You realized that your little feud with Ellie wasn't going to end after all, except this time you weren't fighting her.
Instead, you were just enjoying the moment with someone you could almost call a friend.
It felt like there was nothing else in the universe, just a rush of new sensations that you didn't want to end.
Ellie was the one in control now, as you felt her body pressing up against you, her lips pressing against yours, her hands moving around your body without hesitation. You weren't even thinking straight anymore, you just let her embrace you, letting her take control entirely.
You felt her break the kiss for a moment, just to whisper something in your ear. "Say it."
You knew what she wanted you to say, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do so.
Before you could answer, you felt her slowly undressing you. Her lips were tracing paths along your throat, not letting you let out a logical word from it - only little whimpers.
You felt every curve of her body as you felt her lips against your neck, every touch sending chills down your spine.
When you felt her hands move towards your pants, you felt your body respond in the only way you could.
You couldn't think of anything else but her embrace, her warm breath against your neck, and your body slowly being freed from clothing.
Ellie knew exactly how to push your buttons.
Before you could catch your breath, you were left shaking, as her hand slipped into your underwear, which was soon on the floor too. She was teasing your clit in almost painful slow way, watching you squirm.
"Speak up, babe." She whispered mockingly.
But you couldn't. Not because you didn't want, or because your ego didn't let you - you just couldn't. You even asked yourself 'What does this girl wants from me?' as you already forgotten her previous wish. You just weren't thinking straight.
"Come on, do this for me." She kept looking at you with overdramatic concern. You saw her fastening her belt and sliding of her jeans, revealing an obviously-way-too-big strap, which purple color didn't surprise you at all as you imagined it the same way in your dreams.
When you finally came back to your senses, you constructed a whole full sentence answer. But as soon as she saw you opening your mouth to speak up, she slid a few inches of her toy into your soaking cunt. Your planned reply quickly got replaced with another gasp.
"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" She smirked, her hips started thrusting. She had some sympathy for you, so she didn't make it too painful, but she wasn't also so merciful.
You cried out, at first clenching your thighs from surprise, but she was too strong for you to actually succeed.
You leaned your head back against the pillow, squeezing your eyes shut causing a few of your pathetic tears soak into the sheets.
She held your hips, so she won't miss your sensitive spot, but her grip was so hard you swore you can already see the bruises creating right beneath her fingers.
"Honestly, I'm really happy it ended like that. You have no idea how often I'd imagine you instead of some random girl. But it's good to have you really there." She chuckled, not slowing down but not speeding up either.
Your eyes opened wide at this confession. Before today, the nicest thing she said to you was 'what's wrong?', even though it was in an obviously mocking way. And know it turns out she liked you for a long time. Just like you liked her.
"W...Wh- What?" You managed to stutter out, leaning on your elbows to look at her before your vision turned blurry again so you fell back on the pillow.
"You didn't know?" She laughed. "I mean, you were always oblivious, so I shouldn't be shocked but... I thought it was clear." She was speaking slower than usual as every single word coming from her mouth was synced with the moves of her hips. While saying this simple thing, she pushed her strap into you at least twenty times. And she wasn't taking her time, oh, no. She was fast and rough, like you're just a sex toy without feelings. Did you mind? Hmmm...
When you started getting used to the size of her cock and your mind wasn't completely blank anymore, you remembered one important thing your PE teacher said. 'Someone will check in on you from time to time, so don't even think about anything.' None of you were either at the gym or putting up flyers around school. They're going to think you ditched it. Even though you'd rather get into more trouble than end whatever you were doing now, you felt you need to tell Ellie, just in case.
"El-s..." You moaned out and quickly realised it won't be easy.
"What is it?" She asked, seeming honestly interested in what you got to say. "Ready to admit you're absolutely obsessed with me?"
You clenched your fists, squeezing the bed sheets between your fingers.
"Th- no... We should..." You couldn't help but cry out again.
As soon as she heard the two keywords - 'we should' (and she hated when someone was telling her what to do, so that pissed her off) - she understood what you're trying to say.
"Behave? Fulfill our duties? Or...?" She chuckled.
You wanted to speak up, just to not feel so vulnerable as you really were. You only managed to mumble 'we' before one of her hands started rubbing your clit, just like at the start - painfully slow. The feeling made your thighs tense and move closer to each other, wanting to close the gap between them. But Ellie didn't let that happen as she quickly separated your legs.
Her hips also didn't stop moving, and all the sensations connected made you go silent again. Well, not silent - unable to speak. And that were two completely different things.
"I'd take that as a 'we should continue what we're doing right now'. Isn't that what you want?" Even though you're eyes were closed, you could feel her intense stare on you. Then, her mocking tone came back. "What is it with you being so quiet all of sudden? You spent a few of the past years yelling at me, and you can't even say a word now?"
"I ju-st..." You said but then she hit your g spot again, and again, and again... making you go silent.
Your stomach started feeling funny - probably because of how deep in it Ellie's strap was. At this point, you thought you can even feel it in your throat and that's what's blocking your words from coming out. But the funny feeling had a different origin - your release was getting awfully close, and it didn't go unnoticed.
"We're going to have lots of fun this month." She whispered, leaning in to stroke your cheek.
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harunovella · 5 days
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*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ every thought I'm thinking of is you; t.f.
synopsis: you never knew your parents had this much worry when it came to your college life, hiring a bodyguard for you, you just never expected to fall in love this quickly… let alone, let him be your first... content: fem!reader, bodyguard!toji, age gap, older man/younger woman, one sided love, slight obsession, reader is a little bit dramatic but she wants what she wants and what she wants is toji, love confessions, guilt, loss of virginity, pwp, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, aftercare (he is the king of after care ok), toji is a boob man, ambiguous/open ending, not beta read! note: okay but the concept of bodyguard!toji came to me a as a dream way before I wrote my leon fic where he basically becomes reader's guard... anyway, pls enjoy! I love dramatic endings, oops- title inspo (pls listen!)
Being a professional bodyguard meant being hired to protect those important, those who were wealthy. The array of politicians, actors, musicians—you name it—that hired him made his resume endless. However, this was a first. You were a first. Hired by a pair of rich folks to watch over their daughter who enjoyed her college years a little... too much. 
Being careless was quite the understatement. Sure, you were doing fine academically, excelling in your classes to get one step closer to your degree... but that didn't stop you from having a full college life. Even if you weren't in a dorm. What, with the success of your parents, you lived in a neighborhood near one of the country's most finest universities. There was no need to live on campus, you could stay home. 
Which is why you were always out at the wee hours of the night, not returning home until the sun rose. That was dramatic, but that was how your parents felt. You stayed up late, partied, got home at an ungodly hour and yet managed to be booked and busy the following day. No one knew how you did it, you just said it was you enjoying your youth. You thanked the universe for being blessed with beauty and brains, you weren't sure how you'd survive the life you were living. 
You just never expected your habits to be this concerning that you had to have someone watch over you like the others watched over your home and parents. You were used to bodyguards... but never one who almost always showed up everywhere you went. 
Toji felt like a glorified babysitter, and if it wasn't for how much your parents paid him, he would've never taken the job. He took his role seriously, he was a bodyguard and that's exactly what he did, especially when his salary was high, he had no questions. Just to protect. Even if the job was anything but easy. 
He had been through a lot in his career, the many death threats, nearly taking god knows how many bullets... the scars he's earned. Yet, nothing seemed harder than watching a young woman who wanted to live her life freely and carelessly. Especially a young woman who was nothing but a flirt and a tease. Wanting nothing more than to have his attention rather than ignore his existence. 
You, of course, never expected your personal body guard to be the sexiest man alive. Through and through. From head to toe. The dark, fringed hair. Those piercing green eyes that looked as if god got the exact colors of spring grass and replicated them in his irises. The build of his body, bigger than any man you had ever seen... so burly and strong. Arms so thick, muscles so wide. He was so broad, it made you salivate. You never liked men that were overly large. However, Toji? He was on another level. You wanted him. You needed him. No man ever made your mouth water or your body tingle the way this man did. All he did was watch after you, drag you home, and literally put you in your place. With the most indifferent expressions ever, almost never showing emotion even if there was a hint of annoyance in his tone when he scolded you. 
Yet, you looked up at him with hearts in your eyes, his words entering one ear and exiting the other as you gazed up at him. Your focus would settle on the scar that decorated his lips, you licking your own as you itched to kiss him. He had no clue the power he had on you. You were love drunk, completely smitten, he was the man of your dreams. As pathetic as it sounded, you wanted to even marry him. He could yell at you all he wanted, saying how you worry your parents and that he isn't your babysitter, but you'd still gaze up at him with the most loving eyes. 
Toji didn't know what he was going to do with you. 
It's probably what got him in this situation in the first place. 
He had stepped out to get some fresh air, processing the events that unraveled before him moments prior. Gathering his thoughts, trying to understand his feelings... trying to manage through all that had been going on that lead to this. He wasn't gone for long, just took a walk around the neighborhood to ease himself... he didn't expect to come back to your home with you completely missing. 
He called your name several times, searching every inch of the house once he found your window open in hopes it was all a ploy. You were an actress, quite the attention seeker when it came to him. You lived to make his heart race and play with his head. You enjoyed the cat and mouse chase, but something told him this wasn't that. This wasn't a joke. This was serious. And he hated it. 
"Cmon, answer me..." he grumbled, calling your cell phone, only to hear ringing coming from your bed. Shoving some of your pillows and plushies around, he growled. You left your phone behind. Did you actually leave out the window? It wasn't the first time... but you never left your phone behind. 
Rubbing his forehead, pinching the bridge of his nose and huffing, Toji recalled the events that lead to this very moment. 
Your parents had been out of town for the weekend and you invited some of your friends over, sneakily stealing from their stash of liquor that wasn't so hidden. It was meant for gatherings or when either of them needed to lay back and relax. Your mother's best wine stacked up, your father's favorite whiskeys shelved. You couldn't recall how much you had consumed when Toji found you, kicking your friends out before handling you. 
You were a bit of a klutz while tipsy, a clingy mess who couldn't seem to let go of Toji. Like a leach, latching onto him and giggling. Hiccuping as you slurred your words. You were quite the lightweight—or at least drank a little too much. Toji had dealt with a drunken you before, always handling you to make sure you didn't go home like this. He was your savior, quite the massive angel when he sobered you up enough to avoid your parent's disappointment and wrath. Another reason why you fell so hard for him. 
Personal space wasn't a thing for you, you were all over him, hugging his arm, squeezing his bicep. Batting your lashes up to him, pressing your breasts against his side while dressed in that cute outfit that you'd sleep in. You had hoped to have your friends sleep over, but that didn't work out when Toji dismissed them. They were all used to him and never questioned him. Slightly annoyed, but they'd never cross a man like him. He was big and terrifying (and they knew you were head over heels for him).
It took everything in his power to keep things civil, asking you how much you had, trying to keep you from doing something you'd regret. However, that didn't stop you from pushing. You were persistent. You wanted what you wanted, and when you zeroed in on something, you'd stop at nothing. 
Settling you down and giving you water, making sure you chugged it all as he went through his usual routine to get you sober, you just sat there, happily. Gazing up at him and beaming with the brightest smile, you thanked him for caring for you. Going as far as calling him a true gentleman. He knew what you were doing, it was nothing new. Sighing and running his hand through his hair, he took your hand and pulled you up to your feet, leading you to your bedroom to get some rest. 
"Get some sleep, you need it," he said but you only whined. 
"I'm not tired," you frowned, shaking your head stubbornly and crossing your arms like a child. 
"You need to," he said sternly. 
"Nuh uh! Not unless you join me," you grinned but Toji shook his head. 
"No," he said your name in an almost warning tone. 
"Why not?" You pouted once again. "Why are you so dismissive of my advancements, huh?"
"Because I'm a gentleman," he said, using your own words against you. This making your pout deepen as you huffed. 
"I want you, Toji," you confessed, still frowning but looking away now. 
"You're just a kid, you don't know what you want," he dismissed as you rolled your eyes. You've heard that plenty. 
"I am not a kid, Toji. I know what I want and what I want is you." Without a second thought as Toji watched you stand on your bed, you grabbed the collar of his button down and tugged him in to you. Your lips slammed against his, not lasting any longer than a couple of seconds before Toji pushed you back. 
He was in shock, heart racing and eyes wide with confusion. Not that he never saw it coming, but a part of him almost nearly didn't want you to stop. And that was dangerous. He couldn't even have an inkling of desire for you. You were his assignment. Nothing more, nothing less. You were a child compared to him. A young woman with her whole life ahead of her, barely in her 20s and kissing a man in his mid 30s. "Don't ever do that again," he warned as you blinked a few times, frowning and eyes watering. "Get some sleep, you're not thinking straight," he said before storming out, shutting your door a bit roughly behind him. Leaving you there hurt, confused, angry and heartbroken. 
Snapping out of his thoughts at the not too distant memory that happened less than an hour prior, Toji cursed under his breath. He shouldn't have done any of that, shouldn't have handled the situation the way he had. Truth be told, he enjoyed your presence. He enjoyed your infatuation towards him. He liked that you were clingy and needy of his attention. It filled the void within him that he had struggled with for so long, using other women and gambling to cover it up. Who was he to have a girl like you by his side when he wasn't man enough? He wasn't the man for you. You deserved better. So much better. He wished you put the energy and effort you put into him, on to someone else. Someone more deserving. Someone more age appropriate. Not your bodyguard who was just a tamed assassin. A man who could kill and not feel an inkling of remorse. 
Yet, here he was, blaming himself and chasing after you. He couldn't let anything happen to you. Couldn't let you get hurt. Not only would he lose his job and possibly his head, but he'd never forgive himself if something were to happen and he never saw you again. Wouldn't forgive himself if he never had the opportunity to clear the air. God, what were you doing to him? Never did he care this much about a client! Let alone, a woman!
You couldn't be too far, he came back right when it began to rain. If you were smart enough, you were hiding out somewhere to avoid him. 
At least, he hoped. 
Of course, you, in all your dramatic wisdom, were walking in the rain. Arms clutching to yourself, trembling at the cold and the lack of layers on. In nothing but your pajamas and slippers. You were being over the top, but your mind was so clouded. Not only by the alcohol, but the fact that the man you were madly in love with rejected you. Sees you as nothing more than a child when you weren't. Just because you liked to have fun in your youth. Why did you have to fall for him? 
Crying as your head throbbed, barely able to focus on your surroundings, especially at a late hour like this one. You should've stayed home and just cried yourself to sleep. You were just so angry! You just wanted to leave and never see him again!
Suddenly, the sound of a booming voice shouting your name caught your attention. Looking over to see Toji exit his car and run after you, you quickened your pace. You wanted nothing to do with him, you didn't want to see his stupidly handsome face. You just wanted to be left alone, why couldn't he understand that?! 
Yet, here you were, being chased by him. You knew you wouldn't get far, he was too skilled and you may have ran from him a few times in the past only to be snatched up each time. Of course, even with that lingering in your head, you still hoped maybe this time you could escape him. Even if all those other times you ran with the desire of him catching you. This time? You wanted to be as far away from him as possible. 
Only to trip over uneven pavement. Lovely. 
Grunting and whimpering from the sudden impact, you were ready to force yourself up and keep going, only for him to snatch you up. 
"Are you crazy?!" He shouted in your face, hands gripping your upper arms as he shook you. "Do you know what time it is?! Do you know what could've happened to you?! You could've been kidnapped or killed!"
Feeling your blood boil as you panted, you pressed your small palms against him, shoving him off of you. "Get away from me! Don't touch me!" Continuously trying to push him away, Toji wouldn't budge. Growing frustrated and antsy, you acted before you even thought, your palm meeting his cheek as you slapped him. 
With a low snarl, Toji glared down at you, grinding his teeth. He couldn't understand why you were behaving this way, his denial towards you shouldn't have been such a big of a deal. It was a stupid crush, he was sure. Something shallow. So why did you continue to fight him?
Capturing your wrists and pinning your hands down as he pressed you against the light pole behind you, Toji hissed, "you need to start acting like a damn adult, not this childish bullshit—"
"Make me," you spoke through clenched teeth. You were shaking from both anger and the coldness of the late night showers. You looked deep into his eyes with, what could've been read as, deep hatred. He knew you didn't hate him, but you were furious. 
Feeling his heart race from the adrenaline, skipping a sudden beat from your threat, hating how they suddenly triggered something within, Toji snarled. He felt pathetic knowing he was feeling something he shouldn't towards you, fighting everything in him to suppress whatever it was, being why he reacted so roughly. Like he always did. "Stop behaving like a fucking brat. Grow up. You're a 20 year old college student. Not a 15 year old girl with a crush on her teacher. Act your age and stop thinking the world revolves around you, like you're invincible, when there are those who care and worry about you—"
"Fuck you!" You snapped. "You don't care about me!"
"Who says I don't?! I'm literally right here!" He shouted. 
"You're here because it's your job and so you can get paid!" You snapped back. "You don't care about me, not one bit! You never did! I was always just a paycheck! I hate that I fell in love with you!" Instantly regretting your words, realizing what you just said, you panicked. Looking absolutely mortified, you felt Toji's grip tighten around your wrists. You wanted to melt, puddle up and evaporate. Disappear from this universe. How could you let that slip?! Sure, you had an obvious crush but never love! At least, you wouldn't dare admit that!
Suddenly, you tried slipping from his grip, thrashing around to escape, punching his chest and telling him to let you go. Practically begging him to. Instead, he loosened his grip on one of your wrists and grabbed a fistful of your hair, angling your head as his lips collided with your own. 
It was far more intense than any other kiss you've ever had, the way he was practically eating your face. Tongue nearly down your throat, stealing every breath you had, saliva spreading in a sloppy manner. You didn't even think, your body acting before you could as your hands reached into his hair. Gripping and tugging at the dark locks roughly. Biting his lip hard enough until he bled, Toji hissed and landed a harsh smack against your ass, earning a yelp from you. 
"Is this what you wanted?" He asked in what was possibly the lowest voice he could muster. As if it was filled with anger, annoyance, worry and... lust. 
You couldn't even look at him, ashamed in yourself as you shook your head, speaking in the saddest voice, "I just want you to love me back..."
For once, Toji felt off guard, his eyes widening as his grip on you instantly loosened. His chest heaved as his heart thudded against his ribcage. It wasn't even pathetic the way you spoke, far from it. If anything, he felt bad that you wanted someone like from him. And he hated that a piece of him—a big one at that—wanted to give that to you. You did a number on him and you didn't even know it yet. Even in the rain his body felt like it was on fire, as if his skin would melt off. His mind was a mess, thinking about your confession and desires. How attached he's grown to you without truly realizing it. The interactions you've shared and the small advancements made. He hated that... a part of him knew he's fallen for you, too. Quite possibly since the first interaction when he told himself you were nothing more than a spoiled brat and to suppress those feelings... when, in reality, you were nothing but kind. A little wild and youthful, but you never did anything to make him hate you. Never did anything to make his job boring. You were a lot to handle but, he liked it. He enjoyed the thrill of the chase. He enjoyed you. But, god, did it feel so wrong for you to want a man like him with such a troubled past. With almost nothing to offer. 
"Fuck..." he cursed under his breath as you suddenly looked at him with pure confusion. Blinking in bewilderment. "I'm taking you to my place." Without a second thought, he lifted you up and took you to his car, driving you to his place and knowing very well this could end terribly for the both of you. 
But, he couldn't stop now, not with his hand on your thigh as he drove and not when he pulled you into his place when you two arrived. And definitely not when he stood before you, towering your figure as you looked up at him with those doe eyes that made him want to fucking melt. 
"Do you really want me?" He asked. "If you're not sure you can take it I rather you just shower and take my bed before I do something I'd regret."
"Toji, I want you so badly, it hurts," you nearly whispered in desperation, not wanting to lose any chances of having him. He had no idea how fast he made your heart race (or made your inner thighs ache) in deep need for him. 
Stalking towards you and cornering you as your back collided with a wall, Toji asked you once again, "are you sure?"
Nodding, you looked up at him with a shaky body, desperate to feel his touch. "Yes, please..."
Toji's hand instantly wrapped around your neck, thumb and pointer finger pressing against your jaw as he pulled you in. He lips smashed against yours, shoving his tongue past them with no hesitation. It felt like he was trying to consume you, exploring every inch your mouth had to offer, moans slipping past your part lips every time he'd sloppily kiss the corners of your mouth. The shared salvia smeared as you felt yourself becoming lightheaded. Your knees were just about to give out, your heart pounding in your chest and humming in your ears. Toji's grip tightened as his free hand slipped under your now soaked camisole. Groping and squeezing at your left breast, thumb brush against your hardened nipple before he pinched it. You moaned slightly into his mouth, panting against him as his tongue intertwined with your own. 
Easily lifting you up with one arm, he brought you to his bed, dropping you on it and wasting no time with undressing. He unbuttoned the dress shirt he wore, nearly tearing it off and doing the same with the shirt underneath. His shoes long gone as he tossed your slippers to a side. You sat up on your elbows, trying to catch your breath as you watched the god of a man strip before you. Sure, the suits he wore while on duty hugged his body painfully so, you knew this man was ripped. It was obvious with his towering size and broad shoulders... but to see him shirtless before you? Every line and curve, the shapes of his muscles bulging, the deep v cut and trail of hair that lead to what you needed most. You swore you were going to pass out. This was the man of your dreams, your soulmate, you knew it to be true. And now... you had him, nearly bare before you as he slipped off his pants and wore nothing but his black boxers. 
Toji gripped your ankles and tugged you close as you looked up at him, wide eyed and lips parted. Your chest heaved as he crawled over you, hand pressing against the back of your head, pulling you into a slightly gentler kiss. He still chased after your lips, still desired to taste you, but he wasn't trying to swallow you whole this time. Not that you would mind.  You'd give him everything if you could. 
His large hands gripped your waist as he adjusted himself, straddling you and leaning on his heels before reaching for the hem of your top. Eyeing you and the haze that fogged your eyes, he took in a sharp breath. "Are you sure about this?" Hearing you hum, he shook his head. "No, I need to hear you say it."
"Yes, Toji... Please..." you begged, voice nearly cracking in desperation and need of him. 
Taking in a deep breath, eyeing you once more, he lifted your top a bit to reveal your body, stopping midway before he could expose your breasts. "I won't stop until you tell me to."
"I won't," you shook your head stubbornly. "I need you."
Letting out a small huff as his head dropped, grip tightening around your top, itching to just rip it off and tear you apart, Toji bit down. You weren't like the other women, never would be, he wasn't going to just fuck you without a care. He had some decency. At least, when it came to you. He'd never admit to himself why. 
Lifting your top off and dropping it to a side, Toji took your body in, your curves and every little mark that were unique to you—whether it was a scar or freckle—it was as if he was mapping your skin. You were squirming, whether it'd be desperation, anxiety, or insecurity, Toji dove in. He gave your breasts the attention they deserved, taking one in his mouth and the other occupied in his bear paw of a hand. He licked at the skin as his fingers teased your other nipple, biting and breathing against the wet skin, making you tremble beneath him. 
He switched positions, moaning into your mounds in a sound you've never heard before. If you had to guess, by the way he gave your chest so much focus, how he sucked at them as if they were his life force, and the way he was basically humping you... you'd say Toji was a boob guy. Through and through, no matter the size, he just loved the feeling of the supple flesh in his hands, in his mouth... his aching dick between them, even. If you knew any better, and if Toji lost all self control, he definitely would've fucked them. 
But not now, not this time. It was his first time with you, he needed to learn your body. Explore every inch of it. What turns you on, what makes your eyes roll back, what has you seeing stars. 
Toji gripped at your shorts, tugging them down and tossing it onto your matching top. Kissing down your belly, nibbling along the way and leaving marks in his wake, Toji found himself nestled between your thighs. God, if there was something he loved more than boobs were a woman's thighs. Thick or not, he loved them, loved having them wrapped around his neck, suffocating him. If he had a way to go, it would be by them. 
Kissing your inner thighs, making it to the apex of them, the scent of your arousal was driving him insane. It felt as if he couldn't control himself, grip tightening around your waist as his finger tips dug into your flesh. Not seeming to care of you had a barrier blocking him, Toji buried his face further into you, nose nudging your clothed clit as you shuddered. The shock that was sent throughout your body made your heart race faster as you watched him. It was like he was in a trance, even with your panties still on. 
Burying his nose further into you as you trembled, Toji couldn't help but lick against the cloth, tongue nudging your bundle of nerves as your legs shook. "You better not muffle your sounds, I wanna hear it all," he warned as he looked at you, you instantly nodding. Grinning, he yanked your panties off before he pulled your thighs over his shoulders. Your pussy, in all its glory, bare before him. He couldn't help but grin at the sight, the scent driving him mad as he found himself rutting against the mattress. Truly, a woman's body was his ultimate weakness. 
Purposefully tossing your panties in a different direction to keep for himself (for future—personal—use, of course), Toji dove in. He didn't even bother to give a single warning. Open mouthed, practically making out with your pussy, your head fell back as you began to squirm. Your moans grew louder the further Toji teased you. With every lick and every suck of your clit, to the prodding of your hole with his tongue, you felt as if you forgot to breathe. 
Your thighs were clenching against his head, Toji's grip tightening to prevent you from suffocating him (even if he wanted to welcome it). The sounds were disgusting in a way that turned you. It was almost painful, how good it felt. The way he worked you open with just his tongue, slurping every bit of your essence that leaked. It didn't take Toji long to figure out how to make you come. It wasn't going to be the only time, anyway. 
You felt completely spent, lying almost limp before him. You should've known this man was an expert, but a part of you... that was rather innocent, had believed it was going to happen once when he was in you. Of course, you should've know once wasn't enough. No. Not when he introduced his thick fingers, spreading you open, pumping deeply into you as he watched you squirm. He was nearly getting off to it, the way you panted and moaned his name, smaller hands gripping at his sheets as your toes curled. He grinned to himself, licking his scar as he pushed your legs further apart, pumping his fingers faster into you, proud of himself for making you come a second time.
"Look at me," he demanded as your eyes fluttered open. Hooded and exhausted. You watched as he slipped his two fingers out of you, soaked in your release. He watched them in awe as you squirmed in embarrassment. Toji only made it worse when he brought them into his mouth, sucking with an obnoxious groan. It was then you noticed the painful bulge tenting in his underwear, an obvious wet spot that had formed. Did he get off... to you getting off?
"Fuck... 'm not gonna get used to that. Best I've ever had. So fucking good," he breathed as you took in deep breaths. "I think you're ready f'r me."
Gulping as he stood up to strip his underwear, an audible gasp left your lips as you eyed his cock. The tip red and leaking. Oh, you definitely weren't going to handle that. It was monster sized, there was no way no amount of prep would prepare you for the girth of his size. 
"Don't worry, I'll make it fit," he smirked, the twitch of his scarred lip making you let out an uncontrollable moan. He was hot and he knew it... and somehow that made it all the better. 
Kneeling before you and gripping your thighs, parting them and aligning himself with you, he reached in between and coated his length with your juices, pumping a few times before pushing into you. A gasp got caught in your throat as you nearly choked. Just barely in and you were squirming. "It's— Too big!"
"Too big? You were so desperate earlier," he nearly whispered, voice low and sending a chill down your spine. He pulled back and pushed further in, the stretch stinging and bringing tears to your eyes as you bit your bottom lip. "You can take it."
"Too much— 's too much," you breathed, hand gripping his forearms as if it would stop him. 
Instead, Toji laughed, pulling back and pushing in. Thrusting in and out at a steady peace to let you adjust to his size—until he began to reach deeper. Feeling as if you couldn't breathe, Toji leaned into you. Fucking you slowly and deeply, he left open mouth kisses along your neck and shoulders, biting the skin and leaving his mark behind. He couldn't help but lick at you, the sweat that was beading on your skin. You were intoxicating, he couldn't seem to have enough. All the little sounds, how you moaned his name. The way you begged. How your legs wrapped around him, keeping him in deep even if you cried that he was too much. 
He lifted his head enough to kiss you, tongue meeting tongue as he moaned into your mouth. God, it was all so much, yet... not enough. You wanted more, your body craved him. Your nails clawed at his back as your heels dug into him. He bit and sucked your bottom lip, lifting himself to look at your fucked out face. Swollen lips, teary cheeks, sprawled out hair soaked from the rain. You were an angel straight from heaven sent to him. He couldn't get enough. He needed more. More more more. 
Licking your tears away, deepening his thrusts as he grunted in your ear, your eyes rolled back, seeing galaxies the way his cock reached so deeply into you. You were sure he was going to mold himself against you. "Toji— I— I'm—" you were at a loss for words, mind going blank as you felt that chord within you snap. You came so hard, body trembling and overstimulated that you cried out while pulling at his hair. Toji rode it out, caressing your head and praising you as he continued to thrust in and out of you. 
"You did so good, so good. My good girl. You did so good," he praised as you trembled beneath him. Feeling his own orgasm building up, Toji eyed you and nearly came at the sight of your fucked out face. He fucked you dumb, he was sure there was no thoughts in that little head of yours. "In or out?"
"In— In..." you breathed, eyes barely able to stay open as your hands fell limp against his back, lost in his locks as you tried catching your breath. 
"Look at me," he said as you gulped, eyes fluttering open. He kept his focus locked on you, thrusting a few more times before stilling, coming deeply within your womb without looking away. It was almost the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. You weren't sure how he did it, so enthralled by those emerald eyes, you were afraid that you'd do whatever he said with how hypnotized you were. 
Staying in you for a moments worth as his forehead pressed against your own, breathing each other in, Toji pulled out, earning a whine from you. Nearly flopping on his back, catching his breath as his heart raced, he rolled to his side and snuck a hand in between your legs, feeling the way his come was leaking from you before he gathered it and plugged his finger into you. You let out a small cry, turning your face to hide into his chest. 
"Can't let any of it go to waste, can we?" He asked as you shook your head. Toji moved to leave kisses down your thigh as he pulled his hand away, lifting your legs enough to eye the way his seed pooled beneath you. All the guilt was out the window with how clouded his mind was. Having you this way, you giving yourself to him even if it was all so very wrong. 
He hated to admit, he doesn't remember the last time he had sex like this that wasn't a way just to fulfill himself and only himself. Instead, he was getting off to you. Getting off to the way he made you feel. Especially that blissed out expression on your face... If only he could fuck you again and again and again until—
Toji stopped himself there before the thoughts got worse. You were spent, exhausted and probably unable to move a single limb. He had to clean the both of you up. "C'mon, can't stay like this, as much as I'd love to." Patting your thigh as you groaned, he leaned in and left a few more kisses against your lips, you lazily reciprocating them. 
Toji lifted you in his arms and brought you to his shower. Your body was shaking and legs were surely weak. He made sure the water was warm enough for the two of you, helping clean one another in sluggish movements (more from you and your exhaustion). Toji dried you up after, wrapping a towel around his waist as he helped ruffle your hair with the towel and dress you in one of his shirts. He sat you on his couch with a cup of water as he changed his bedsheets. Bringing you back to the bed, cuddling up against one another as you tried to morph into him, desperate for his warmth, you nuzzled his bare chest. His scent was intoxicating, your eyes falling heavy as you felt your body being carried away into your world of dreams. 
"I'm so thankful you're my first," you mumbled sleepily. Toji's once droopy eyes shot open. 
"I was... your first?" He asked with all sorts of hesitation. You were a virgin... and he took your virginity? 
"Mhm... I was saving myself for someone special enough. Guess that was you," you said before falling asleep, deep enough to not have an inkling that your words would be the reason why Toji hardly slept that night. 
Toji took you home the following day bright and early before your parents returned from their business trip. You freshened up and felt a sense of ease and happiness that you've never felt before. Ready to return back to Toji to say your goodbyes as he spoke to your parents, you found yourself hiding behind a wall as your heart skipped a beat and smile dropped at his words. 
"I apologize for the late notice but I'll need to take a leave of absence. I already have a few people lined up that can take over my position," Toji said. "I'll give you their contacts."
"What happened? Is everything alright?" Your father asked. 
"It's personal reasons I rather not disclose, but I assure you these people can watch over your daughter at a level almost nearing mine."
"I hope all is well, thank you for all you've done for us. Will we be seeing you again?" Your mother asked. 
It was what felt like hours before Toji spoke up again, leaving you with a heavy heart that dropped to your feet at his last words, "I am unsure," he admitted. "I wish nothing but the best for you."
Those last words weren't directed towards your parents, it was almost as if Toji knew you were listening. Was he really abandoning you after last night? Did your confession mean nothing to him? Did he... use you? Your bottom lip began to quiver as your eyes pooled up at his last words:
"Take care."
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koishiro · 14 days
Text
# - 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐒
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ — 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro, Toji Fushiguro, Toge Inumaki, Kento Nanami
masterlist | jjk masterlist | anon masterlist
Satoru Gojo
Gojo has no shame, you should know this. It’s no surprise to anyone when they see the jujutsu teacher just waltz over in his usual long strides and (quite aggressively) places his head on your lap. And if you ignore him? Ohohoho he’d be a menace. From nudging his head on your stomach, to biting the soft plush of your thighs, all for you to run your fingers through his hair.
He enjoys laying on your thighs a little too much since he literally won't get up even if you have to go do something important.
“Satu, I have to get up”
“‘M? Later”
“Don’t you have a class to teach?”
“They can wait”
Suguru Geto
Suguru would be slightly more subtle than Gojo, but still pretty affectionate. You’d often find him reading a book or two later followed by a complaint of how stiff and achy his back and neck were which led you to now, sitting down on your shared couch and contentedly scrolling through your phone until you felt an unfamiliar weight weigh down on your lap.
Temporarily turning your attention to the man now taking place on your lap, a book in one hand while the other absentmindedly toyed with the fabric of your shirt, you stared at him for a moment until your burning gaze tore his attention away from his book, as if you were the one to invade his personal bubble.
“Hm? Yes darling? Are you not considering the pain and backache I’ve been going through for this book? Have some sympathy, I thought this would be better for my posture.”
Yuji Itadori
This boy would be so oblivious, not even realising the effect he had on you. He would be in the middle of talking about Human Earthworm 4 and would first start to lean his body weight on your shoulder before gradually moving down to your lap, even going as far as to readjust you and your position just like a pillow.
It would only occur to him what position he’s actually in when his one sided conversation starts to die off, now realising how his head and hands are tucked between your plush thighs - skin on skin contact.
“O-Oh uhm - I’m so sorry!
Megumi Fushiguro
Don’t expect this to ever happen in public but in the privacy of your own home? Megumi would be severely more touchy when he’s tired so when he’s exhausted? He’ll have no shame. Dragging his feet through the threshold of his dorm, his bag being dragged not too far behind he makes a beeline towards his bed where the outline of non other than his lover was hidden beneath the covers.
Leaving his bag behind, Megumi navigates his way towards the warmth of your body before toeing off his shoes and slipping his way between your legs, arms tucked beneath the plush of your thighs. Asking about his day you had to strain your ears to hear his response
“‘missed you. Wanted to come home earlier but Gojo was an ass. R’lly missed your warmth.”
Toji Fushiguro
This man has no shame. If you’d be sitting a centimetre too far for his liking you best know he’s gonna clamp his large hands down on you and drag you to where he likes. He’d even go as far as to lift your legs over his own thighs and (like a cat) paw at the skin of your thighs.
So when you happen to pass by his chair while he’s in the middle of a slightly less than exciting conversation he was having with a name he couldn’t even remember of course his first instinct is to reach out and pull you down, caging you between his two arms - his hands nicely warmed between your two thighs before they ventured and groped at any available skin.
“Stay nice ‘n pretty f’me kay? Don’t wanna make this guy uncomfortable do ya? ‘N keep your pretty mewls to yaself until we get home hm?”
Toge Inumaki
Bby boy just wants to be comforted okay? Is that too much to ask for? He’d already be so comfortable around you that he wouldn’t think twice about what he was doing.
You both could be lying down outside, one or both reading a book and after a while of resting in the same spot for hours on end he’d struggle to find a comfortable spot and the next best thing to a patch of grass? His lover of course. Toge would slowly shift his way towards you so you’d end up as a mesh of bodies resembling a ‘T’. A few squeezes to your thighs every now and then followed by a series of onigri ingredients,
“I should do this more often, you’re much more comfy than any pillow I’ve owned. My own portable neck pillow.”
Kento Nanami
This wouldn’t happen often at the start of your relationship with Kento considering he’s never had to (quite literally) lean on anyone before but it never bothered you, you knew before you threw yourself into the relationship that he’d take some time to warm up and you were right because slowly after months of quick pecks and fleeting touches - the unfamiliar weight of your boyfriends head leaned on your shoulder. The tired eyes and dark bags beneath his eyes said all you needed to know.
“Tired?” With a grunt of agreement, clearly too tired to even lift his head, you lead him down to rest on your lap where he stayed without complaint until hours later when the sun shone through the living room curtains and the blanket you managed to reach and place over top you both before swiftly joining him lay on the floor long forgotten. Nanami would all but bury his face deeper between your thighs - chasing the warmth they emanated while his hands found closure beneath them.
“Please, don’t move. At least not yet.”
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gangplanksorenji · 4 months
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Kinknuary Day 3: Blowjob
Pairing: LE SSERAFIM Yunjin x Male Reader
Word Count: 4,524
[Kinknuary Masterlist]
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There are days that something is prominent in your university life and must not be left behind, but think about it again—is it really that important?
What was it, anyway? Well, apart from the plethora of asynchronous to reflection-type activities and assignments, it would be the usual attachments with Huh Yunjin and your own endeavors with her. It’s crazy to say that a perfect girl like her became your best-friend in just a snap of a finger yet you wouldn’t complain—a girl like her should be treasured; you can’t afford to lose her and should be protected at all costs. Well, after all, you’re Yunjin’s knight and shining armor while she’s your foundation and your emotional support and it all just balances when the two of you are together.
Friends. Yes, there’s maybe nothing more than that—oh, wait, she’s your best friend and probably the one that’s there for everything, even if it’s more than beneficial.
“Come on man, we gotta go! You can’t just sit there and do nothing!”
“Yunjin, can you just wait and I am doing something, by the way. Just leave me in peace while I finish this, please—”
“Arghh, why would you just do it now??” Yunjin’s tone masks annoyance and disappointment as she’s not having it whenever you’re doing such assignments with little to no time left and all in a rush. “We’re going to be late for class and I don’t wanna miss out on anything because of this dumb stupidity by you!”
You’re now getting annoyed with her antics and soon, you’re going to explode out of anger but you know that this is just Yunjin herself. An impatient bugbear that will literally scold you for minutes—yes, that’s her. She has a great point too, in all fairness—the point of your pointless procrastination in so-little time when there’s plenty of it yesterday. She knows how hard you can procrastinate over something but for her, this is just too far and she’s not having it.
“Come on! I’m blaming you whenever we get called out for being late! You’re such a—”
“Then go without me then! Can’t you see I’m finishing this as fast as I can?”
The room permeates silence; the earlier ebullient sounds of so-called quarrel is now replaced with just breaths, Yunjin shutting herself up as fear runs down her veins, scared with your serious tone and your intimidatingly stern look. Of course, she won’t leave you hanging like this and won’t go without you so, she just sat down beside you and tapped your shoulder, wanting your attention to be averted towards hers.
“Hey, I’m sorry—we’re just going to be late in class and I’m just worried about it…”
“Yeah, yeah, Yunjin. It’ll be done, okay? Just sit and wait there on the couch, please.”
She immediately followed what you’ve commanded her and it was an awkward situation to be in, let alone the uncanny silence following it. She knows how much of a tsundere you are, really ignoring the fact of apologizing for something she shouldn’t be apologizing for and your ignorance of it. It’s not the fact that you don’t appreciate something for her but rather, your focus was just on finishing this madness as soon as possible as you didn’t care what could stop you. After a few more minutes of more stress and peak procrastination, you’ve finally reached the endpoint and you could have never been happier than this.
“God, finally—I’m done with this shit! Yunjin, have you closed everything? Checked everything?” you ask her but just a hitch of her breath is the response, and then such deafening silence follows (deafening as you can’t stand playing games with her right now, getting too irritated with her childish antics). “Hey, Yunjin! I’m asking you and just answer the question good god—stop playing with me!”
Another faint silence ensues until she breaks the tow—
“Yes, I did! Gosh, you’re always so serious!”
“Yunjin, not this time, okay? We’re running late and you’re making me look like I’m the one who’s more concerned when you can’t shut your mouth earlier about being late.”
She knows you have a point and she didn’t bother debating her side—there’s no need for that, since it’s just a small thing that shouldn’t be escalated further.
“Okay, okay, calm down, jeez—let’s just go now, everything’s all good too.”
You packed your things in a rush as the both of your eyes wandered on the unchecked sides of the apartment as everything is fine, the two of your rushing yourselves right after in order not to get late onto the the class of your strict professor—you just don’t want to get called out again, and neither does Yunjin.
--------------------
Thank god the both of you got there in time and gladly, the lecture ended in just an hour as everything went smoothly and with no repercussions. After that, the both of you then coursed your way onto the university’s quadrangle, finding a table and a bench to invest into some studies and engage in some interesting talks with her since it’s mostly your free time until it’s near sunset. Even with the peaceful atmosphere nature gives, you can’t help but be bothered with Yunjin’s sporadic mannerisms as something feels off about her yet you didn’t really mind it.
“Hey, you idiot.”
“What, Yunjin?” You looked at her, slightly annoyed as it’s evident on your face yet you anticipate. 
“Do you think he will like this?” She sighs heavily with a pessimistic look on her face, looking a little defeated knowing what may come next will not be in her own favor. She fidgets the small, folded paper between her fingers as she blows some air heavily, feeling a hint of defeat.
“What is that—” You swiftly grabbed the piece of paper that she’s staring at as it caught her off-guard, also letting out an irritated growl because of your irksome advances. 
“Hey! Give it to me!”
“Dear Cheol-san, I wish—”
“Hey, give it back—arghh!” Yunjin then got the chance to grab the paper away from your hands as she glares at you, definitely infuriated from your childish actions. “You’re so stupid! I hate you…”
The earlier bright atmosphere suddenly became clouded with awkwardness and vex, your actions really getting into the path of consequence as you felt bad for her, regretting what you’ve done and apologizing to her right after.
“Hey, I was just kidding with you—I’m sorry…”
She slowly averted her eyes towards you, then faintly smiling yet annoyance is still evident on her face. 
“Just don’t do that again, prick. Can you just like—be serious with me, please?”
“Yeah, yeah, what is it?” You furrowed your eyebrows and your orbs then glistened with anticipation and willingness—the willingness of listening and discerning whatever she may share.
“I’m scared to confess to him so… I don't know if he'll like the traditional way of confessing secretly, like with a letter…”
“Maybe, yeah—I don’t know? Maybe unless you try—it’s up to you… I don’t care whatever you wanna do but that’s just my advice” You advised her yet she felt that yours weren’t so sincere as you feel guilty after saying that. She knew something was off so she needed to address it to you so it won’t bother her anymore.
“Is it though? You felt like you didn’t care about me after saying that…”
“What do you mean I don’t care? I care about you of course, even though you’re a nuisance sometimes and I hate it…”
You’re not even trying and Yunjin already connected the dots, finding the culprit of your resentful mood. 
“Ah—you’re jealous, hm? Yo, you’re so childish!”
“How the fuck am I even jealous about that? Gosh, see? That’s why I hate you so much!”
Of course, the last retaliation against her as a defense is total hypocrisy and it’s putting alcohol on  the wounds—it’s just going to get worse once you put more and it’s the involuntary culprit that exposes your hidden desire.
“Stop the cap—you’re jealous because I’m confessing to someone—”
“Okay, okay!! Maybe I am a little jealous but it doesn’t mean anything really serious…” You mutter an excuse again in hopes for Yunjin to believe it but you know she won’t.
You’re jealous about it and you know it yourself. You wanted her eyes to be on yours as always but people are a victim of change and you hate it. Being in the zone of just friendship is a hard pill to swallow yet a blessing in disguise—it’s painful and bitter yet it rewards you, the reward of complete assurance whenever she’s down as you have her all by yourself, in so many ways.
She felt your pain but it’s still not too late for your heart to go on a slumber—you capture her lips in a swift motion as she eagerly reciprocates, her eyes open as it catched her off-guard.
It was torrid as it escalated further, resulting in lustful exchanges of pecks and bites onto each others’ lips. You felt her need and thirst as in every second that passes, the experience just becomes enchanting and fruitful. The kiss was surely “platonic” but you can’t deny the plethora of romantic feelings you felt for her for years as you hope that feels it too. The kiss was untangled after a short while, exchanging breaths and small giggles as you can see her face blush from your sudden advances.
“I missed this.”
“I missed it too, Yunjin.”
Your noses meet as the atmosphere permeates hunger now, and not so long after, she captured your lips once again, getting addicted to your taste and giving in to her primal desires. It was just a total déjà vu from earlier—her eager reciprocation earlier was now replaced by you doing it as something adds to the spiciness; and it was dancing of both tongues craving on each other’s affection as it didn’t last that long too, Yunjin feeling uneasy because you were still in a public place.
“Feeling really hungry, hm?”
“You should have known better, Yunjin.” You whisper as she smiles as a response. She knows you well and knows what you could do to her yet something’s bothering her and it’s not you…
“We should actually take this somewhere privately.”
“You don’t want people watching us? Let them be envious?”
“Yah!” Yunjin lightly punches your shoulder then throws out a playful glare, feeling opposed to your proposition as she wanted all things just between the both of you only and no one else.
“Then lead the way, Yunjin…”
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“If you weren’t so hard on me last night, you could have tasted or felt a load from me, Yunjin.”
“Well, I wasn’t really feeling the mood to get fucked yesterday because I wanted it now—”
“Where everybody could possibly see?”
“No—” Yunjin inches her face dangerously close to you as she squinted her eyes, proposing you onto something you always wanted. “—where everybody will be secluded to see your desired treasure, which is me.”
Yunjin ran down her fingers onto your chest, spiraling it as she emanated the heat of her palm onto your heart, making it rapidly beat faster. 
“So, Yunjin, is this where everything will end up?”
“Maybe—we’ve been friends for a long, long while now so you know where this will end.”
“All inside your mouth.”
“About time.”
It’s going near—going to start another filthy mess, you assume. Another wild thought bewildered you as your carnal desires are slowly taking over you and you’re fully embracing it. Once she knelt down on her knees and tugged your pants and started unbuckling your belt, you knew instantly what she’s craving and it’s within you. She was swift with her movements and in each clothing that was being undressed from you is the pervading heat of her hands and Yunjin herself. You relax yourself onto the tile wall on the restroom as you run your finger towards her hair, playing with it and encouraging her to get her deserved prize that she’s been longing for. Now with just your boxers on the way, she deftly tugged it as she was amazed with the growing erection that has been hiding under your clothed prison.
“Oooh, it’s not getting big~”
“Now do something about it, Yunjin.”
“Of course, I will.”
Within a single action, she has the last defense off as it springs to life, almost hitting her on the face. Your amassed precum ran down your slit as your length twitches in front of her, Yunjin herself getting excited and aroused just by seeing the perfection your cock has.
“God, look at it—” Yunjin’s eyes convey amazement and awe, worshiping your cock with just the words escaping her mouth. Her pupils dilate and you can see it as it scans every inch of your throbbing length. You moaned fervently once she palmed her hand onto the base of your shaft as the coldness of the wall you’re lying in contradicts to the heat of the moment she’s doing between your lengths. Your mouth is slightly ajar, your eyes closing from time to time because of the leisurely pleasurable handjob she’s been giving you and it’s only just the beginning.
“God, Yunjin—”
“Don’t worry, we’re still going to fuck like animals anytime we want, okay?”
“Yeah, but—oh fuck!” You exclaimed as the pillowy flesh envelops your entire length, the pleasure you’re experiencing is something nigh-close to an overdrive. Her lips are so plump, so soft that it feels heavenly whenever she embraces it around your mushroom tip. She lightly sucks the tip, and a playful run of her tongue onto your slit, causing your thighs to shiver in delight and to let out a series of moans that bless her ears. She delightfully collects the sudden precum that was leaking out of your slit as you moaned  because of her own work of art. The suction was too good to be true as it felt surreal and the way that she hollows her cheek everytime she goes deeper—taking in half of you—you just can’t help but moan and compliment her ways of pleasuring you.
“S-such a good girl—fuck, I w-won’t get tired of you sucking m-my dick all day…”
“Gahh—if it means a lot for you and a reward after it, then I don’t mind sucking you off any time you want.”
And goes back in and it’s getting sloppier the second she has her mouth around your throbbing length. She places both of her hands onto your thighs for leverage as your hands go onto the back of her head, forming a makeshift ponytail to hold yourself a leverage—to fight the omnipotent pleasure that’s taking over you. Her pace wildens, her head bobbing up and down furiously as it shows how deprived she is to taste you and to give you what you want. Saliva then seeps out of her mouth, messing up the base of your shaft onto your musky-scented balls that soon averted her attention afterwards, fondling them gently as the pace is still wild and fast, eager onto achieving your promised land. She was too focused about getting you all bricked-up and stunned to the point that she forget about intimacy and affection, so, capturing your eyes for a moment with her, she stared at you deeply while still maintaining the ferocious pace of her bobs and it was just an arousing yet an endearing experience.  
Her beautiful eyes really set your brain in a haywire as it’s the cherry on top within the service she’s doing between your legs. As much as her hair is disheveled, faint makeup getting ruined and her drooling messing up her pristine features, those orbs really send you under her spell and you love falling into it.
Such a pure face sullied with her own lustful actions as the beauty of it gets ruined yet it makes her go beyond it—she’s even more gorgeous with her messy countenance, moreso painting that beautiful face with your seed—
“God, slow down, Yujin—fuck—gahh, no one’s stealing me away from you—”
Yunjin ignores your plea as after a few bobs, she pulls herself out of your length and lets out ragged breaths, saliva strings and a pop as the cherry on top. “Scared because you can’t hold it in anymore? Also, y-you can’t blame me…”
“Hey! I can still hold it—fuck, shit, your mouth—too good—gah!”
Once she took your whole length in one, swift motion, you almost lost it there as the instant deepthroat made you weak. She started with a moderate pace yet it grew more frantic and sloppier as she’s now taking your whole length and it was a sight to behold. Within her wild pace is the endearing look of her, glistening, round black orbs and it just doesn’t help you—it’s just a scene to be cherished as you moan inevitably, forming a cacophony of music to her ears. 
“You’re damn lucky with the genetics you had—having such a big dick but can’t last that long? Bit ironic, in my opinion.”
“Hey! You freaking liar—I can last longer than what you expect.”
“Fuck—yeah, can you? I can already feel you throbbing like crazy—mmph!”
“Just shut up and do your job, Yunjin.”
Yunjin was always the kind to tease and degrade you a little between your steamy sessions—whether it’s just a simple handjob up to the nastiest, freakiest sex session known to mankind—she will retain her attitude of being annoying and energetic.
Having enough of her childish remarks, you plunge in your length immediately as she instantly gagged, the sounds resonating around the puny room the both of you are in. She immediately took this as an aggressive retaliation against her own degrading antics and she didn’t mind, but rather put gasoline into the flames—her face further fucking it roughly onto your whole length, only withdrawing with the tip inside and then slamming it back in, balls-deep inside her mouth as her nose gets buried down on your abdomen in every thrust she do.
Yunjin can do it like no other and that’s the beauty of it. She’s in her own class and in another league when it comes to servicing you and her trademark, giving head. There’s something about her blowjobs that makes you weak and as well as getting addicted to it right away—is it the fact about the way she dances her tongue around your length? Or is it about the tight suction of her mouth that keeps you dangling above but not over the limit of your threshold? Is it the way she looks at you endearingly while sucking the living life out of your cock? Maybe all of them are—permuted or combined, it doesn’t matter.
Eager to reach your breaking point, she ends up becoming the whole masterclass of craft—a sight to behold; an action worth rejoicing. It’s rejuvenating and stimulating, and your sensitivity keeps chasing the edges of the roof as everything seems to be a little too much but nothing is never enough. With the constant drive of her lips onto the base of your shaft up to the tip, she slides it down effortlessly before deepthroating you like she wants to prove something—she doesn’t need to because she earned it all too well. 
Between the frantic bobs; spilling of saliva; fondling of your balls and the captivating look of her eyes, you can’t help but feel that familiar tingle on your loins as it signals the near-coming of your orgasm. There wasn’t any talk that was happening as it was all just gags and slurps from Yunjin and just inevitable moans and groans on your side and soon, it will be too much to be contained.
“God, I’m s-so close, Yunjin. W-where do you want it?”
Yunjin didn’t pull out yet she didn’t ignore you—she gestured her hands, pointing it to her mouth as you knew what she wanted and that is to… cum inside her mouth (wasn’t it obvious?). Savoring the last seconds before your reaching your high, you held a vice grip on her hair as she fuck herself onto your cock faster than ever before and soon, it will be unshackled within any second now—
“God, I’m—fucking—cumming, Yunjin!”
You take control of her head, burying it down as her nose hugs your abdomen, forcing herself to smell the musky scent of your skin as you let everything out in her mouth. Your high was too euphoric as her heavenly mouth takes it all, painting her warm cavern—which is her throat—full of your seed. With the copious volume of your load, she’s unable to take it all as her gag reflex kicked in, forcing herself to pull out of your throbbing length as last shots of semen landed on her lips and some messing up her chin.
“Gahh—w-wow… You c-came a lot~ and it’s s-so—gahh—delicious too—mwah!”
She brushed her fingers onto the semen that splattered out of her chin and mouth as tasted it, humming soundly as she was satisfied with the richness and volume of your creamy load. Within two gulps, your seed was all gone, right into her stomach as she stuck out her tongue for further proof and you could only respond with a smile and ragged breaths.
“You’re—you’re a crazy girl, Yunjin… I can’t believe you really b-blew me off here.”
“Neither of us can help it, so fulfilling each other’s needs was just the endgame.” 
She was audacious and needy, it’s all said in her eyes right from the start. She wasn’t really the type that takes risks but with her own judgment, fulfillment comes first and it was destined to be that way—and you’re happy it ended up that way.
Against all odds, she was willing to give you everything you need and so do you, but sometimes, it’s getting all too much.
“God, Yunjin—fuck, I’m still fucking sensitive!!”
“Kinda rude not to deposit another load, look—” Yunjin cupped your balls for a good measure between her dawdling strokes, causing you to groan in pain and pleasure. “—it’s still goddamn full.”
She pecks on your swollen head as her tongue dances around the veins of your throbbing shaft, “I’ll suck you off until these balls are drained enough for me to stop—you won’t stop me, right?”
You didn’t respond as you were getting to the point of being overstimulated, needy moans and small whimpers coming out of your mouth makes it so that Yunjin would even push you further than what you can take.
“Righ—fuck, Yunjin! Your mouth—fuck!”
She’s on her masterclass again—her merciless fucking of her mouth against your cock and the vice grip of your thighs—and it’s just getting out of hand. You let out gasps and needy cries as her pace conducts the definition of sloppy and needy and god, it’s such a beautiful sight seeing her face getting all messed-up again with her own frantic actions. 
It was just the same plethora of moans, resonating gags, messed-up saliva and the harsh grips yet it’s still as hot as ever. You inevitably thrust a little, aiding to help your needs and her wants as she didn’t complain, but rather focused herself onto the actions she’s best at than blabbering out useless words that won’t help any one of you. With the growing libido and rejuvenated pleasure, your sensitivity is starting to come off faster than expected yet it was inevitably there, and you like it. 
Just with the tongue teasing the frenulum is enough for your whole system to break down into pieces, what more if such high-class service was being served by the one and only Huh Yunjin—it’s going to be better than any buffet you’ve been to or anything you could think of.
You’re just into a state of bliss, a connection partaking in the class of a heavenly masterclass—a fervent paramount that you’re always thankful for whenever it’s in your hand’s reach.
The dexterity of her fingers never fails to amaze you as every stroke just makes everything better even though it’s already at the maximum extent. With the way her mouth glides up and down with ease, you can’t help but feel the utmost pleasure as every technique she does was just amazing—maybe even finding her series of serrated enamel fueling your masochistic needs.
“God—you can’t really help y-yourself too, huh?”
Yunjin took seconds to respond as she pulled out of your messy length, with strings of saliva connecting from her mouth to your tip as you were met by her sullied countenance. “You know I can’t resist you, even if it means to just drain your balls with my mouth.”
And she returned to the league of her own profanities and carnal needs as her mouth effortlessly took your whole length, giving you the best blowjob of your whole life. Whenever she withdraws from your cock, she plants torrid kisses onto your slit and your tip as you let out shallow breaths, an offspring from the pleasure you’ve experiencing. With this pace that Yunjin is maintaining, another inevitable approach is soon to be met, you unable to do anything and her embracing everything.
“Yunjin—I’m g-gonna cum again—please let me cum a-again in your mouth—fuck—please!”
With your begs and the profounded proposition, she immediately ejected herself onto your raging member, leaving it throbbing and helpless.
“Why don’t you just add to the mess I’ve made? It’s a bit rude now painting my face before ending this moment—so come on, cum on my face, paint every inch of me white with your hot, creamy load—please! I’m dying to feel your cum on my face—”
Between her dirty talk is the feverish and frantic strokes of her beautiful hands on your shaft and with that, you opted to paint her instead of giving her another throatpie. 
Another pulchritude of a woman’s visage is bound to be sullied, and you can’t wait to add to the disheveled mess she already made herself into.
You can’t hold it anymore as for the last time (not really), shots and shots of thick, warm semen landed onto her beautiful face, nose, her glossy lips and some onto her neck and collarbones. The load was still rich and creamy, but it was not that copious compared to the earlier load you gave her balls-deep down her throat but neither of you complained, but rather, be thankful because of another gift.
“Gahh—ahh, that was amazing… So creamy still—how can you still blow a big load when you already like—blasted everything earlier?”
“You stimulated me too much, idiot, that’s why…”
She traces samples of your cum and goes onto her mouth, moaning delightfully as she was satisfied again with your delicious seed.
“And you loved it, of course~”
“Of course, Yunjin—aren’t those two, thick loads aren’t enough to put on a conclusion?”
“Of course it is, but we’re not done…”
“Yeah, you slut—let’s just go home because I’m fucking tired already thanks to you.”
“No worries, it’s my pleasure, hehe~”
You helped her clean up with your tissues and god, the both of you are probably just starting but it’s such an incredible end to an amazing oral session...
914 notes · View notes
ayoogirlie · 2 months
Text
Before I start writing angst, let's go with something pleasant. I just recently started reading and watching MASHLE which is why I don't knowe many characters well.
MASHLE MAIN 5 X GN!READER (separated)
Main 5 falling in love with you!
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Mash
This one is oblivious. He doesn't realise he holds special feelings for you. I believe at first he could have though of you as sibling.
You're just as important as his father so why not? The three of you could be a fine family.
He would share creampuff with you... just like with others. Honestly, it would be difficult to notice he likes you in that way. This man is so indifferent or more like he forgot to train his face muscles.
The thing that betrayed his feelings is the fact that he has been following you everywhere like a little duckling his mom.
Whether you have classes together or not. If you had them together — he would sit with you or at least close to you. Some rather prefer to sit alone, which helps them focus. On the other hand, if you have separated classes, he would always escort you to the class and only leave after making sure you sat down.
Mash's main love language would be act of service. I don't find him as a touchy guy — he would respect your personal space. The most he would do is grab the snip of your sleeve to not possibly lose you in crowd. (I find it cute honestly, like he would be to shy to grab your hand, so he would be happy with bare minimum.)
Going back to act of services. I think you would have a special privilege — flavoured creampuff. Coffee, chocolate, strawberry, etc., whichever you want. This guy would take you to kitchen and make you bake them together. Unless, your cooking is hopeless and you can set the kitchen on fire, then you're simply watching him work and talk about the silliest things.
Mash would definitely listen to your rambling. Well, at least he will try to. At some point, he would pass out, if he was overflowing with many new information. Please, go slow with him.
When asking others for help with you, he first would try to figure things out himself. Only if he had no more ideas, would he ask his friends for love advices (most likely Lance or Finn).
This guy is so sweet yet so clueless. He loves you so clumsily and as a boyfriend he doesn't change his attitude much. He already treated you in special way. Well, maybe he'll get more intimate with you. I'll leave it to your imagination.
Finn
I simply adore this boy. His love is as innocent as he is. Literally, he would be all red and shy when he realised his feelings for you.
He would get nervous around you and every possible physical contact would make him explode. He's too focused to not make any mistakes in front of you, that he forgets to relax.
Well, it's not like he's always like that. His heart would explode at this point. There are some moments, when he is even sweeter than he is now. It's when you simply sit somewhere and do nothing, just enjoying your existence. He feels so calm that he wish those moments would last forever.
Finn likes DIY. So I bet he would make some for you, it might be jewelry, plushie or something more practical. Whatever you'll ask for he will do. (If it's in terms of his skills.)
If you ask him to teach you how to make some, he would be more than happy. Who wouldn't be happy to spend time with their crush?
He would carefully explain everything and help you if you have any difficulties with the project. Sometimes I wonder where he gets all this patience from. Whether you would get discouraged or curse how hard it is, he would try to calm you down and explain your mistakes.
When I'm still talking about teaching. Study session. I just see with my eyes of imagination. The two of you sitting in library beside each other and bending over books. It depends on you — whether he's teaching you some subject or you just enjoy your company.
Finn loves animals. I think, he would always tell you many random fact about them and won't stop talking, until he gets a hold on himself.
When he finally remembers himself, he will start apologising and feeling bad about being the only one talking. Then you kave to reassure him that you really don't mind and he can continue.
As a boyfriend, he treats you very well. People might say he's a perfect boyfriend material, but you can see how much he tries and I hope you do as much for him as he does for you.
Lance
Honestly, I can't imagine him giving someone else attention than his sister. Like this sis-con on has Anna in his head. So you can imagine how everyone was surprised when they noticed his unusual behaviour towards you.
And it wasn't some big change. No. It was more subtle. He was less strict with you than he is with others. Whenever you seemed sad because of his, sometimes mean, comments, he would apologise. (It took him a lot of courage to say this simple words.) He was more careful with his act to not sadden you.
I believe that after some time of knowing each other he would tell you about his sister and maybe if he happens to trust you a lot — about her illness as well.
He strikes me as a gentleman at some point. He would hold the door for you, help you with school work and follow you almost everywhere as if it was his duty.
Unfortunately for you, his sister will always be his number one, so unless you accept this fact, I don't think he will try to do anything with your relationship.
As well as it was with Finn, you two would have study session together. This guy is so clever that it would be stupid not to ask for help with the subject, spell or other thing you have difficulties with.
He truly admires you. You saw him in numerous embarrassing situations, for example when he was talking to Anna's pictures etc. Everyone' else would already start avoiding him. Maybe that's why he finds you as a perfect match for himself. Someone who wouldn't judge his behaviour and just accept his 'imperfections'.
Lance would respect your personal space and it would have to be you who initiates physical contact (mostly before your relationship). But he would place his hand on your waist with excuse not to let you bump into others.
He looks like the guy who would give other people, who are talking to you, nasty glare, when you don't look. It's not that he doesn't believe in his charm, it's just the fact that he doesn't like others being to close or touchy with you.
As a boyfriend Lance becomes more possessive and clingy. He would hug you from behind and gets touchy when you least expect it. Well, at least you're never bored.
Dot
It's easy to captivate this hot-headed guy's heart... if you're a woman of course. Male readers have it harder. But now we are talking about the stage he is already in love.
He would always boast to his friends about how he's going to marry you with no shame. Of course, always when you're absent. If by chance you will witness him saying it. He would want to hide under ground.
He would always scream at the person, you would give too much attention. He gets easily jealous, but he act like thata with every male that gets too much attention from others.
That's why you don't realise he holds any special feelings towards you. He still acts like he act towards women, so you don't think any special of the way he treats you.
I believe Dot would be touchy with you. Like put his arm over your shoulder or surprise you from behind. Honestly, if he would have ever touched you in a way that would make you feel uncomfortable, as a man he is — he would never forgive himself.
In his eyes, he gives you special treatment. He doesn't play pranks on you and even with Lemon in room, he always focus on what you're saying and so on.
After some time, he gets more obvious that others notice his strange behaviour. He always stares at you, daydream about you two being together. His eyes are always following your person.
When you're close, he catch himself on enjoying your fragrance. Later of course, Dot will blame himself as well call himself a pervert. But you cannot be mad at him. He just can't get enough of you.
If he only could he would almost always hold you in his arms and never let go, while being too scared you might run away from him.
He is energetic, so as a boyfriend he would take you to many places. Date? Let's go to amusement park, if not, we have many other options. Of course, sometimes you two have home dates, where you just cuddle and enjoy eachother company.
Lemon
Congratulations. You just won over Mash and captured Lemon's heart. This turn of event surprised everyone, like literally everyone, even Mash.
Lemon would act similar like she did while having crush on Mash. She would be so delulu and talk about how the two of you are engaged and all (in fact you aren't... for now).
She would randomly grab your arm and hug it. People got used to seeing you this way. The two of you walking through the corridor, you look like those couples who always stick close to eachother.
She gets easily jealous of other people you're close with, expect for Mash, Lance, Finn and Dot, since she knows they won't try anything with you. When she feels threatened by someone, she would get closer to you or (in most cases) panic.
She would definitely share Cupid Gummies with you. Like she would buy it and almost immediately run to you only to give you some. She thinks of it as a special bond between the two of you.
Lemon blush a lot around you, that's for sure. You get too close? With red as tomato face, she would slap you. She gets a little violent when nervous, it's the fact you have to accept. But who can blame her? She's so happy to have you around that she cannot control her actions.
She's like a ray of sunshine, which is why whenever you're sad, she will try to make you feel better. Sometimes when words won't help, she just sits next to you. She wants you to know she will be always here for you.
You would get a lucky charm from her. One reason is that to keep you safe, other is to have her close to you. While making a design she would try to match with your taste. Like when she made Mash creampuff plushie, she would make something similar.
Whenever she would have problems with spells, she would go to you. Perfect excuse to spend time together! In exchange, she would teach you theory you would have problem with.
As a girlfriend, Lemon is very sweet. She wouldn't have to find excuses just to spend time with you. You would be often seen together eating lunch or walkings around while holding hands.
505 notes · View notes
blackopals-world · 4 months
Text
The lil's Helping in Class
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P.E
Vargas: (lil'Special Forces!Yuu strapped to his chest) Today we'll focus on endurance training while running laps.
Student: Sir you have a baby on you.
Vargas: you are mistaken (reveals lil'disciplinary officer!Yuu on his back) I have two babies on me! And they will provide support to everyone.
Lil' Special Forces!Yuu: Run faster!
Lil' Disciplinary Officer!Yuu: Slackers will be punished!
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Potions
Crewel: An important part of making potions is knowing how to clean up properly for risk adverse effects.
Lil' Maid!Yuu: (inside a cauldron, scrubbing it) cleanup~clean up~Everybody everywhere~
Lil' Tailor!Yuu: (trying to put on lab gear but it's way too big) I'm dressed now papa.
Crewel: See you should follow their example. Model students.
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History
Trein: Please speak clearly when reading you're essay. You must be understandable to the entire class and keep their attention. The children are nodding off.
Student: but sir, they are literal toddlers. They don't know how to read let alone understand this.
Lil' Writer!Yuu: (drawing pictures of what's happening) Then the princess married the princy.
Lil'Noble!Yuu: Soooo, boring. He's wrong anyways.
Lil'Writer!Yuu: Really? hehe, he's getting a bad grade. Right papa?
Trein: Very right sweetie.
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Nurses Office
Dr. Lazarus: (passed out after drinking decaf)
Student: Can't you just wake up the nurse?
Lil' Nurse!Yuu:(in lab coat and glasses) I am nurse. Now hold still. Now. Check his head!
Lil'Marine Biologist!Yuu:(checks temperature) he's cold.
Lil' Nurse!Yuu: He's sick! Get me a needle!
Lil'Vet!Yuu: Yay! Needle!
Student: no no no! I just need a bandage!
Lil' Nurse!Yuu: Oh, oke. Get the bandages.
(The three will monsters begin sloppily wrapping the student in bandages around his head, arms, and legs)
Lil'Marine Biologist!Yuu: Better now?
Student: (looking at three sets of puppy dog eyes, unable to deny them) Yep...all better. (Hobbles out the room wrapped like a mummy.)
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Music
Vater Goldlace: I expect you to sing perfectly on pitch. That is if you don't want to wake the baby. The lullaby must be done right or you'll wake them and if you wake them from their nap after it took me two hours to put them down I will fail all of you.
Lil' Gardener!Yuu: (sleeping lightly while being held)
The unlucky Student who has to do the solo in "Golden Afternoon": Oh, god.
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Sam Shop
Student: 20 madol.
Lil'Delivery Kid!Yuu: ...
Lil'Jester!Yuu: You better do better than that.
Student: Okay, 23.
Lil'Delivery Kid!Yuu: ...wa
Lil'Jester!Yuu: they're getting mad.
Student: fine 25!
Lil'Delivery Kid!Yuu: WHAAAA!
Student:Okay I'll give you anything! 30 madol! Just stop crying before Sam-
Sam: Are you bullying me little imps? You know there's an extra charge for that.
Lil'Jester!Yuu: I told him that Daddy. He didn't listen.
Sam: I know Jest. That's 40 madol boy.
Student:(running)fine take it. I'm sorry!
Lil'Chef!Yuu: (Holding bottle) It's food time.
Lil'Delivery Kid!Yuu:(starts drinking)
Sam: You get so cranky when you are hungry.
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The Headmaster Office
Crowley: This week's meeting begins now since everyone is here.
Student: Why is that thing staring at us?
Lil'(???)!Yuu: ( staring into his soul)
Crowley: Don't acknowledge them, I've been trying to train them to stop.
Lil'(???)!Yuu: (eyes oozing black ink)
Student: Please stop them. I'm scared.
Crowley: (sighs) They are just trying to get a reaction. Don't look you'll encourage them.
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613 notes · View notes
tiredfox64 · 11 days
Text
Too Late? You’re Still Young!
Prior notes: DILFS! I LOVE THEM! I LITERALLY HAVE A I ❤️ DILFS SHIRT! YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE? CONSENT! WE 👏 LOVE 👏 CONSENT👏!
Pairing: Johnny Cage (MK11) x Virgin! Afab reader
Warnings ‼️: NSFW, fingering, praising, nipple play, safe sex is sweeter, mating press, aftercare (is freaking important)
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So you spent all of high school and all of college with you virginity in tact. Impressive, but it wasn’t your choice. With a sheltered home life like yours you struggled to understand the dating scene. You were too afraid to have a boyfriend since you worried you would get in trouble with your family. You never had the talk before but your hormones were a big indicator that you were missing some important information about your body. You somewhat found the solution when you placed a pillow between your legs and it felt incredible good to you.
Through Sex Ed class and word around school you figured out what you were in need of. But to get it seemed so difficult. At least now you knew your fingers were a good option.
That frustration grew in you and you couldn’t voice it out. Even telling it to your best friend Cassie felt wrong. You’re almost graduating and you still have your v card! You can’t do this anymore. Maybe it’s time to ask Cassie for advice. Even if she can’t help you maybe one of her friends can. Two of them are engaged to each other you doubt they are waiting till after marriage. Heaven knows you can’t.
══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══
You went over to Johnny’s mansion since you remembered Cassie was staying with him for a bit. You knocked on the door and waited patiently with an anxious look on your face. It was Johnny who opened the door.
“Hey! I haven’t seen you in a while,” He paused for a second, “Woah, what’s up with that face?”
“Hi, Mr. Cage. Is Cassie here right now?” You asked sheepishly.
“Nope, sorry. She just went out with Jacqui. But you should still come in. I’ll get you something to drink.” He invited you in.
You went inside, taking your shoes off at the entrance like a decent human being. You followed Johnny into the kitchen where you sat at the island. He gave you a glass of water which you thanked him for before he started talking.
“So what’s going on? You don’t seem to happy. Let me guess, a professor gave you a bad grade.”
He knows you too well. That could be true but not at this moment. You did smile though which is the reaction he wanted.
“No actually, it’s more of a…body issue.” You tried your best to explain it without saying it out loud.
“Ah, shark week I’m guessing? That’s why you need Cassie.”
“No! No! It’s another kind of issue that I have a hard time saying.” Your voice grew quieter the more you spoke.
Johnny stayed patient. He waited to see if you would say it yourself. You were being vague so he really didn’t understand what was going on. You sighed before continuing.
“The thing is I’m still a virgin. It’s really embarrassing. I feel so frustrated knowing that my body needs something but I either don’t know what it is or I can’t get it.” Now he understands.
He stayed silent for a bit as he thinks about what you said. He would say it’s no big deal but he’s a man with a high body count so he shouldn’t be talking. Still, he doesn’t want you feeling bad about it.
“Cassie did tell me you were a bit sheltered. But I don’t see why it’s a problem. You’re a nice and intelligent girl and I would hate for some dick to take your virginity as if it was nothing.”
“Everybody says that to me! I know what I am and I understand I need a good man to do it with. But how will I know what is considered a good man if no one tells me.” You were really expressing your frustration.
You had a point and Johnny could see that. You were at risk of being misguided. Everyone is at risk of that no matter what but you had a disadvantage. He had an idea that might work out but it seemed so stupid. Hormonal stupid. He’s been deprived for a while now and getting the chance to have some fun is really tempting right now. But he doesn’t want to take advantage of your situation. It won’t hurt to ask.
“Alright listen, how about you and me…do it. I’ll show you how it goes and what a man should be doing to you. It’s up to you. I won’t force you to do anything.” He said calmly.
You froze up and your cheeks started to feel warm. You were surprised he would suggest something like that even though you knew of his flirting habits. Was it a good idea however? He is your friend’s dad and he is way older than you. You can’t deny though that he is still good looking for his age. Older does mean more experience, right? He’s been so nice to you too so you can trust that he’s a good man. Screw it, he’s the best option!
“You wouldn’t mind doing that? I mean I do feel comfortable with you, especially since I don’t have any guy friends.”
“Of course, but only this one time. Promise me you won’t tell Cassie, right? I get it she’s your best friend and best friends tell each other everything and whatnot. But she is still my daughter and I doubt she will be happy that I banged one of her best friends.”
“I promise. She will never find out.” Better make sure of that.
He nodded before taking your hand and guiding you up the stairs. It was exciting yet nerve racking. Johnny could sensed that and squeezed your hand to tell you it’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna take good care of you.
You two walked into his bedroom. His bed was large and comfortable which helped settle your nerves. He brought you over to the bed and had you sit next to him. He may be an expert in this but he has never really dealt with a girl who was so nervous before. He better take this real slow and talk you through it.
“Alright, first things first, a man should never go right into it. Foreplay is very important. It will help make the experience better for you and prevent you from getting hurt down there.” He instructed.
You had no idea what foreplay was but you trusted Johnny enough to not asking him about it. You were right to do so since all he did at first was kiss your neck. Already that was a lot for you. Each kiss felt like a little tingle that shot down between your legs.
Johnny’s hand was slowly tracing down your body till he got to the waistband of your pants. Your breathing hitched which alerted him you were getting nervous again.
“Shh, it’s okay. Remember I’m taking it slow. I won’t hurt you.” He whispered against your neck.
You relaxed a little as his hand slipped under. His fingers lightly touched your clit and you whimpered immediately. It felt way different than when you would do it to yourself. This is way better, probably cause you are receiving it from someone else. Johnny wanted to see how you were a little more down and was surprised at how wet you already were. He could easily slip his fingers in if he wanted to.
“Damn, you’re really wet. I’ve never had a girl get this excited so quickly.” He commented.
You were embarrassed by that. Barely touched and you are soaking wet down there. You turned your head away from Johnny to prevent any further embarrassment. He just chuckled lightly at your reaction.
“It’s not a bad thing. It makes it easier. You’re doing good.”
One of his fingers slipped into your pussy with ease. You gasped in surprise and pleasure. You never fingered yourself since you never felt anything from it. But you sure felt it now. That one finger slowly pumped inside you as his thumb rubbed your clit. You were keeping yourself together which was good. Johnny felt like you could take a little more.
“You think you can take another one?”
You nodded your head confidently. You wanted more anyways. Your body was in need of it. Now having both his ring and middle finger in you was like heaven. He went a little faster while his thumb kept rubbing your clit.
Your whimpers to turned to quiet, breathy moans. Now it felt too good. Without thinking you were trying to close your legs. You don’t know why you do it you just know you don’t want to make it hard for Johnny.
“Gotta keep your legs open for me. I promise it will be better for you if you do.”
You listened and tried your best to keep your legs open, spreading them wider than before. That should do it.
“That’s it, good girl.” He whispered.
Immediately you had a reaction. Your heart did flips and you felt warmth in your stomach. Johnny caught on when he felt your pussy clench against his fingers. Not surprising considering you always did seem excited by praise no matter what. He’ll keep that in mind when he fucks you in just a moment.
Your body grew hotter the longer this went on. It didn’t help that Johnny was so close to you. So close that his other hand went to the small of your back to support you. You didn’t know what to do with your hands so you were left clenching the bed sheets. Suddenly he asked you a very important question.
“Wait, now that I’m thinking about it, have you even had your first kiss?”
Nope, you didn’t even get that. You nodded no.
“Well I must look like a jerk. What kind of man am I,” He said comedically, “Let me help you with that as well.”
This must be some sort of dream. A dirty one at best. A dream where you are kissing your best friend’s hot dad as he fingers you. Even if you weren’t the best at kissing, Johnny was making it work. Thank goodness your lips were soft cause you’d be embarrassed if they weren’t.
This was all enough to send you over the edge. It really didn’t take much effort since you were so deprived. Your eyes were shut tight as you felt pleasure pulse through your body. You were moan against Johnny’s lips. He felt your pussy clench his fingers which was enough evidence to show he just made you cum. Damn, in three minutes? That’s a new record. To him that was impressive and boosted his already high ego. You were embarrassed, thinking that cumming too early was a bad thing. It’s only bad when it’s guys, you’re fine.
“I’m sorry. I thought I would last longer.” You apologized.
“There’s no need to apologize. It just means we can get to the really fun part now. Take your clothes and get comfortable on the bed.” He instructed.
Johnny gave you a quick kiss on the cheek before slipping his hand out from your pants. He wanted to make sure you were still comfortable. There was no need to feel embarrassed around him. The important thing is if you’re comfortable and still okay with this.
You took your time when taking your clothes off. Obviously you never stripped down in front of a man. Even when you would go to the pool you were nervous to take your shirt off. This was a big leap but you felt like you could do this. Deep breathes and take your time.
While you did that, Johnny went over to his bedside table to grab a condom. You could see how prepared this man is when you saw the long line of condoms he had. It’s been a while for him, they’re still good.
When you took all your clothes off you were quick to get on the bed and cover yourself with the blankets. He doesn’t mind he understands. He started to strip his clothes off and oh…wow.
You don’t care what anybody says he is like fine wine. He looks like he’s still in his prime. You couldn’t deny you felt yourself get wetter and you pressed your thighs together to alleviate the pressure down there. Then he took his pants off. Girl, you’re in trouble but a good kind of trouble.
You’re not mathematician or scientist but you can definitely say he was bigger than average. Was it supposed to be that thick? He saw how wide your eyes were and decided to tilt your head up so you could look at him instead.
“You should probably keep your eyes on me for now. Might scare you if you look down there for too long.” He’s not wrong but he sounds arrogant saying that.
He got on the bed and slowly pulled the blankets off you. You were still being shy which is fine. There is no need to rush into this he will make sure you are comfortable with going ahead. Plus, he’s gotta comment on those tits.
“You have a nice pair on you. Do you mind?” He was asking for your permission to play with them.
You nodded and he went in slowly. You felt his hands cup your breasts gently. His thumb rubbed against your soft skin. You were surprised by how calming it felt. Sure you were even more turned on but you also felt less nervous. Johnny came in closer and started to leave kisses all over them. At first it was gentle but then he decided he wanted to leave hickeys on them. Nothing too big but they were the perfect spot since no one will see them. It was definitely a new feeling but when you saw the marks he left on you, you knew you liked it.
You know what else you liked? When his tongue ran over your nipple. It surprised you but you soon relaxed again to the feeling. He sucked on your nipple gently, not wanting to overstimulate you just yet. His other hand went to pinch your other nipple which excited you more. Once again it was another situation where it felt better when someone else did it instead of you. With all this combined you started to grow needy. There was no sense of embarrassment or nervousness anymore, only this need to be fucked. You started to whine which let Johnny know you were ready.
“Alright, alright, I get you. Just give me a second, babe.”
It didn’t take long for Johnny to put the condom on, what a manwhore. He angled himself before holding your hand. It was for support.
“Just tell me if you need me to stop, okay?”
Then he started to push into your wet pussy. The feeling of being stretched out for the first time was deliciously painful. It’s not what you expected. You expected to be screaming and for a bunch of blood to come out. Nope, not at all. Inch by inch he slowly pushed himself inside of you till he was fully in. He didn’t start thrusting immediately since he knew you had to adjust.
“You okay?” He asked.
“I’m more than okay.”
“That’s good. You’re doing so good. So good for me.” Johnny started to give you kisses on your face which you appreciated.
After a few moments he started slowly thrusting into you. Your hand squeezed his but you never told him to stop. The pain slowly turned into pleasure. Finally, the pleasure of being fucked. Each thrust was another wave of pleasure through you. It was confusing at first, like your mind couldn’t comprehend something this good. Your body could.
Johnny started picking up the pace when no sign of pain was present in your face. You stopped having control over your moans. You weren’t being loud like a porn star. It was more like you couldn’t fake it even if you tried.
Damn, that’s what I sound like?
He didn’t want to push it too far but he was so tempted to pound into you. It’s been so long and you honestly felt amazing. He loved looking down at you and watching your breasts jiggle every time he thrusted in. You squeezed so nicely around his cock. He was trying to hold himself back from getting rough and you could see that. You wouldn’t push your lucky but your body says otherwise. Hormones are crazy like that, they will yell at you to do anything to get the pleasure you need. Your arms wrapped around his neck and your legs around his waist. You looked into his eyes and you said something that seemed so out of character for you but was what you truly wanted.
“Please go harder.” You begged.
“Fuck, are you sure?” Trust me, Johnny wanted to but he was still worried about hurting you.
You whined and wrapped your legs even tighter around his waist which let him know you weren’t playing.
“Alright, I get it. Never would have expected you to be so needy.” He teased.
He’ll do you one better. How about a new position? Nothing crazy but you will like it. He grabbed your thighs and pushed your legs back before putting you into a mating press. And you thought he was already deep enough. Good thing you are surprisingly flexible.
You really do need to keep your legs open more. It felt amazing to you when Johnny started pounding into your pussy. This position made it easier to hit that sweet spot inside you which you didn’t even know about.
You could hear a wet, squishing sound coming from down there every time he pulled in and out. Not only that but there was also the sound of skin slapping every time he rammed into you. It turned you on even more. You know why? Cause that’s the sound of being fucked, honey!
Johnny had a nice view in front of him. Listening to you moan for him as he continues to fuck you. You make him feel young again. He still has it in him. The energy to have fun with a girl and make her moan. Fuck, he is so glad he is doing this now.
You would be thinking the same but all you could focus on was how big he was and how all of that was slamming into you. At this point why hide any of your moans. No one is around and this is your first time. You should have as much freedom as you want. Get the full experience. You were keeping your eyes closed out of embarrassment but that won’t last for long.
“Come on, open those pretty eyes for me. Can you do that just for me, gorgeous?” Johnny whispered to you.
When he says it like that how can you deny. You slowly opened your eyes to look up at him. Sure you were still embarrassed but you realize that it was just hotter this way. The connecting that the eyes make. You’ve never seen a man look at you in such a way. A look that makes you feel desirable. There might even be some affection behind it. Because Johnny does care for you. Even if this is a one time thing he wants you to have the best experience and walk away with no regrets. It’s working for you.
It was all so much. The sounds, the feelings, the connection, the intimacy is all getting to you. Your nails started scraping against his back lightly. Your toes curled and your legs shook a little. Your eyes almost rolled back and your moans grew louder. You were about to cum and Johnny could see that.
“You’re gonna cum? You wanna cum, pretty girl? Go ahead. Just keep looking at me.” He commanded.
You kept looking at Johnny as he slammed into your sweet spot again. This orgasm was better than the last one. It felt like a heat radiated through your body. All your worries came undone just like you. Like a knot just unraveling in your stomach. You looked at Johnny with half-lidded eyes as you let out breathy moans. Damn, he could have came right there on the spot but he was holding himself together.
“Bet that felt good, didn’t it.” He teased before leaving some kisses on your face.
You knew Johnny would feel like a king after making you cum twice. He’s cocky like that. Ah, but you forgot. He hasn’t cum yet.
“You think you can go a little longer for me, baby? Just a little longer.” He asked to keep going so he can cum.
He didn’t wanna overstimulate you during your first time but it’s your call. You’re a trooper, you can go a little longer even though you are incredibly sensitive down there now. You nodded which made him smile.
He stopped pressing down on you which was a relief for your legs. He still kept them open. He started thrusting into you again, not as rough as when he had you in a mating press but it still felt great. He watched as his cock went in and out of your pussy. Your wetness coated the condom and it still made a wet sound. Oh how he wished he could just take it off and fuck you raw. Fell how warm you are and cum into that sweet pussy of yours. But that’s a stupid idea. One that young Johnny would make and he’s a better man than that. Still won’t stop him from thinking about it.
And that view of you, mwah! Watching your legs shake slightly from being overstimulated. Your hands gripping the sheets around you. Your breasts kept jiggling no matter how hard he pounded into you. He can see your eyes grow wet as you handle the sensations. All that combined with his little fantasy of cumming inside you sent him over the edge. One more thrust in and he was cursing softly as his cum filled the condom.
You both were left panting after that wonderful experience. Johnny pulled out and went to dispose of the condom. Damn there was a lot in there.
You were pretty exhausted but happy nonetheless. You don’t really know what you are supposed to do after. If you’re supposed to just put your clothes on and walk off as if what happened didn’t happen. That’s not how this goes. Not with Johnny.
He came back to you with a bottle of water in his hand. He went next to you and helped you sit up, placing his other hand on your back.
“You’re probably really exhausted after that. Here, drink this.” You gladly accepted the bottle of water, not even realizing how parched you were.
“So, what now? Do I just leave?” You asked which just proved to Johnny that it was best that he did it with you first.
“If a man ever told you to leave right after he’s an asshole. Don’t ever let a man do that to you. Come here.” Johnny pulled you close to him and made you lay down.
Your head laid on his chest which his arm was wrapped around you. He pulled the blankets over you to make sure you were comfy. His fingers ran through your hair which soothed you even more. This was incredibly nice. You didn’t realize how tired you were till he put you in this position. Your eyelids started to grow heavy and your breathing slowed down. There was only one thing left to say to him.
“Thank you…” You said softly.
You drifted off to sleep in his arms as he gave you a kiss on your forehead. Maybe Johnny was getting pretty old since he needed to sleep as well after that. He too started to fall asleep, happy to have a wonderful girl next to him again.
══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══
Cassie and Jacqui just came back from their little, or more like big, shopping trip. Cassie was about to call out to her dad till she saw your shoes at the entrance.
“Oh shit, she’s here?” She said.
She went around calling your name, surprised you weren’t out in plain sight. in fact, neither was her dad. She guessed that maybe you were upstairs in her room. Nope, not there either. Well if anything her dad had to be in his room or something. She knocked a few times but no answer. She just decided to open the door herself.
“Hey dad, do you have any idea where-“ Cassie stopped herself when you looked at the scene in front of her. Even Jacqui gasped out loud.
She slowly closed the door again, a shocked expression on her face. She looked at Jacqui who confirmed what they saw was true. Out of all of Cassie’s friends she would have never suspected you of sleeping with her father. She doesn’t even think you did it on purpose you’re not that kind of person. This was all so much and she could only mutter three words.
“What the fuck.”
After notes:🍊…🦊so like, you gonna pay rent or something? Do I gotta feed you? Fuck do you even eat? One of your comrades came crashing through the window this early morning. Who the fuck gonna pay for that? Ah, anyways. My daddy issues have come to say hi. Can’t tell if fucking Johnny will heal me or having him be a father figure to me will. Just need him to ruffle my hair and tell me my professors are the bitches not me. Hope y’all have a good day! Adiós!
278 notes · View notes
tookthe-405 · 2 months
Text
Hard to sleep
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bsf!ellie x bsf!reader
Masc!ellie x fem!reader
summary: Modern au where you and Ellie are best friends and in college together. About the queer situationship so many of us had with our best friend :,)
It’s angsty but still fluffy I swear 😪
(Happy End)
c.w: smut!!, weed, mention of alcohol and drugs and long af and I think that’s it but speak up if i missed something!!!
authors note: this is my first fic so please be nice to me, but still give critic so I can write better next time 🫶
⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆ ⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆ ⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆
“Wakey wakey sunshine it’s time to get upp”
You sigh annoyed thinking you’re still asleep and dreaming some shit, because of course Ellie follows you into your dreams.
“Dude get the fuck up” this time her voice doesn’t sound so subdued and you jump out of your sleep.
“Holy fuck”
You Look at Ellie whose casually going through your dorm room, packing your bag for you.
“You really need to stop oversleeping the classes that are the most important to you and going to the ones no one cares about”
You sigh still tired and feeling your heart beating way too fast and loud.
“You really need to stop showing up here when I’m unconscious, you always scare the shit out of me”
“I literally called you sunshine, how does that scare you?”
You giggle a bit and sit up straight, stretching yourself before standing up completely.
Ellie gives you your packed bag and you take it, still in pjs.
“You do know by the time I’m done, the lecture will be almost over” you mention to her as you open the braid form last night.
“Who said I’m waiting for you huh?”
“Um I do?”
You Look at her grinning, she sits at your desks while watching you do your hair with her green eyes following almost every move.
You Look Away quickly and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
Sometimes it feels like there’s a time limit when you two look at each other, like you have to watch out that it’s not too long and not too short. Most of the time Ellie doesn’t care and just keeps staring, but for you it’s important to not cross the friendship line. No one looks at their best friends for too long, no one worries about looking at their best friend too long.
You just don’t want to fuck this up.
“You should wear a skirt today”
“Huh?”
Ellie appears in the door.
“It’s hot today you should wear something short” she says again
“This your way of making me wear skirts for you?”
Ellie chuckles in her casual husky voice.
“Yeah that’s exactly what I’m doing”
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“That was so fucking boring, you could’ve let me missed this one too Ellie” you whine
Ellie groans as the both of you walk to one of the cafe’s on campus, meeting your roommate Audrey and some of Ellies friends as well.
“I’m like 90% sure he said important stuff in the beginning and we just missed it because of you”
“Yeah yeah whatever I’m sorry ellie, I’ll try fixing my sleep schedule okay?”
“I’ll ask Audrey too take away your laptop and phone maybe you’ll have a chance then”
You bump your shoulder into hers and she giggles.
It doesn’t take much too make you feel nostalgic when you spend time with Ellie. Only warm air, sunshine and her laugh.
That’s all you’ll ever need and that all you’ll never have forever.
“I’m gonna meet up with Iris later”
Her tone sounds natural, no hesitation and you are sure she doesn’t know what her words do to you.
And the worst part is you can’t even be mad at her, you have no right to be.
You look down at your shoes that go in the same tact with Ellie’s, over and over again.
“Really? Was she the one with the braids?”
Ellie nods and you try to make some eye contact. You don’t want her to feel bad, even tho you’re sure she has no idea how you actually feel, and you always try to be happy for her. But maybe you want her to get it. Maybe you want her to see how you look at her, maybe then she’ll finally understands.
But she just keeps walking and looking forward.
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“There wasn’t a frat party in so long you have to come!”
Audrey is basically begging, she even pulls your arm.
“Everyone is talking about it in my class, since it’s the last one before everyone is going home so they wanna party big” Jesse explains with a big smirk on his face.
Ellie and you look at each other from across the table, sipping your ice coffees.
You give her a uncertain look, you know she’ll go if you go and you’ll go if she does.
“Who’s gonna be there?” She asks and your eyes land on Dina, who normally knows every human alive.
“Everyone I hope but I’m sure a few won’t go so why don’t you just tell me her name Ellie?” Dina says, a teasing look on her face and your heart feels heavy again.
“Iris. I sit with her in biology”
“Aw cute you sit with her?” Audrey says mocking her friendly, but she gives you a empathetic look. She’s the only one who knows about your feelings, since she was the one who was with you when you got a bit too drunk and told her about all the feeling you ever had.
Ellie looks at you for just a second, but thank god you didn’t miss it, and your cheeks turn red. You keep drinking your drink.
“Yes I know her she’s sweet but I don’t know if she’ll be there”
Ellie immediately grabs her phone and types something in it.
Jesse goes ordering something and Dina talks with Audrey about the party and what to wear.
Your feet kicks Ellie’s softly, so she looks up at you.
“Just ask her if you could met there, I’m sure she doesn’t mind” you say trying to sound as supportive as possible.
Ellie looks unsure and you grab her arm soft, feeling the fabric of her flannel jacket she’s so obsessed with.
“She likes you Ellie, god how couldn’t she and she should be happy about spending some time with you and you’re friends. I know it would make you feel more relaxed too, knowing you’re not alone” you try to whisper it but Audrey and Dina are loud talker anyway.
You smile at her and take your hand back. Ellie looks at you and her cheeks turn a slightly pink shade. She was never good with sentimental talk, too bad you’re so good at it.
“You don’t have to meet her yet you know” she says finally.
“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know… I wasn’t sure if you wanted too”
“I’m your best friend why would you think that Ellie?”
“I don’t know I just… never mind it’s stupid”
She starts looking at her phone again but you keep staring at her confused, angry and even a bit sad. You’re pretty positive that you weren’t obvious at all for the past years, so what did you do to fuck up so bad?
“Okay she’ll be there”
“Yeah?” Jesse asks, sitting down again with a sandwich in his hand.
“Yup she says she heard about it too and wanted to ask me if I would like to go”
“Damn that’s some soulmate shit” he says chuckling and you look out the window for something distracting
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“It’s gonna be fine, if it’s too much for you we can leave” Audrey tries to comfort you.
“I’m gonna be okay Audrey don’t worry, i think I can do this” you know you actually can’t do this.
“I think this is all just in your head, the whole “Being scared of losing her” thing” she mentions quiet.
It’s not just that your scared of losing her, your scared of wanting her so much that you can’t control it anymore and then losing her.
“Just go ahead with the others, I think I’ll take a bit longer… I’m just gonna take an Uber” you keep digging through your closet searching for anything you would like to wear.
“You sure?” Audrey voice sounds unsure.
“Yes it’s a short drive I’ll be fine”
“Fine but if you change your mind then I’m more than fine with just watching a movie with you Here”
“I won’t I promise we’re gonna have fun tonight” you smile at her as she walks out the door saying goodbyes and waving quickly.
Right after she left you could hear your own thoughts way too clear and it felt like your mind was ready to destroy the whole evening.
You stare at your wardrobe searching for something, but this unsettling feeling is eating you from the inside and you lay down on the bed again, putting your face in your hands.
The tears just rush down your cheeks and your body lets them. You imagine the time where Ellie has a girlfriend wife, a woman that is more important than you and the person she wants to do all the things you want to do with her. You’ll have to be at their wedding and at their house to eat fucking dinner once a year.
You would do a lot for Ellie to want you as this person, but you tell yourself that you’re not gonna cry here because that won’t change anything.
You take your phone from the night stand next to you and open the camera, seeing mascara all over your cheeks.
“Fuck” you whisper annoyed
You try to whip them away, then you get a text from Ellie.
I’m gonna pick you up in an hour okay
What about iris? Shouldn’t you pick her up?
I wanna pick up you tho, she’ll be fine we said we would meet at the party
You don’t have to do that Ellie
I get it really
I want to pick you up. Is that okay with you miss?
I can hear you say this in my head
Shut up and get ready dork
You smile and the smile tastes like hope and assurance and love.
In the end you decided to wear a shirt mint green dress that has a V cut with a little cute white bow in the middle. Since how to walk in heels is a fucking mystery, you wear your Mary janes shores in dark red.
You put your hair up and put on a brown leather jacket from Isla.
There’s a knock on the door as you try to save your make up a bit.
You take one last look in the mirror and decide that your fine with how you look. With your bag around your shoulder you open the door and meet Ellie’s eyes immediately.
You smile excited and do a little spin.
“is this okay?” You ask her
“Pretty. You look very pretty”
You take a Look at Ellie’s outfit.
Baggy jeans with a white t shirt and her blue jeans jacket and converse. You could see her black sports bra though her white tee and looked away quickly, feeling your face heat up and your mind swift away to other places.
“You do too, even your hair is open for once. Looks very good” you say and take a step forward, so you could let your fingers go through her hair. She puts her hands on your arms and closed her eyes for a bit. You fixed a few hair strings and looked at her. You often saw her this close up but you’ll always thank the universe for another chance of seeing her like this. The freckles over her cheeks and her nose, hell even her forehead.
She is so beautiful and so sweet, sure she tries to hide it most of the time but in these moments you’re both just two girls holding each others most vulnerable versions.
A moment later you find yourself hugging her tight.
Your arms are around her neck and you take a deep breath in. She hugs you back, her arms around your waist.
“I love you a lot and I hope that doesn’t change ever.”
You whisper in her ear
“I love you too…”
You eventually let go of her and try to show her that you’re still happy and excited for tonight, even though you really just want to hug and kiss her the whole night and not watch her do this with some other girl.
“Let’s go I’m sure the others are already there”
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“Frat boys are some weird people but fuck their party’s are good”
Ellie’s voice makes you look right as you guys get out her car and fuck she’s right. There are people everywhere. Outside the frat house, inside and you’re sure some people are gonna end up on the roof at some point too.
“I’m gonna drink so fucking much before I need to go back home” you say, real excitement in your veins this time.
Ellie giggles and the both of you try to get through the drunk people on the front porch.
It’s louder inside the house, where a tone of lights shine around in the room, everyone is dancing and you could smell alcohol in the air.
Your eyes scan everything around you, but then you hear Ellie curse.
“What wrong?” You get a bit closer to her again.
She looks a bit pissed but you couldn’t find anything else in her expression.
“Iris is gonna be here in an hour”
“Thats a bit late” is all that comes to your mind.
“No shit, she thought we would meet up at that time but still it’s just….” She looks at your biting her under lip
You take a step back and look at her really mad now.
“What is it that bad to spent some time with me here Ellie? We don’t have too you know you wanted to pick me up, you wanted to go tonight what the fuck?” You hear your own voice getting louder with every word.
You were trying. Trying to be supportive and not jealous. Trying not to think about her, about all the things you dream about. But this just feels like some fucked up joke.
“No! Fuck- you know that not what I mean…”
Ellie’s hands reach out for you but you step back again.
“Don’t fucking Touch me.”
And for once in a while Ellie was the one, who felt the sharp pain of rejection. Her hands slowly drop and her eyes never looked so green. Her eyes look around the room for a second, but after she realises that you’re not gonna change your mind she puts her hands inside her jacket and walked more inside the house.
You don’t feel the tears this time. They just appear in your eyes as you watch Ellie walk away.
You Turn left and walk up the stairs, trying to not let anybody see you cry.
You Wander around for a bit feeling like a ghost, not even sure how to think a single thought right.
After a while you find yourself in, you think the bedroom, of one the frat boys. A group of people sit on the floor, talking and smoking a joint.
Even tho you don’t really like smoking, you thought about it for a second and it didn’t sound so bad Anymore.
You stood there awkwardly, staring at them not sure what to do, but then you heard a voice behind you.
“You want one?” A tall girl with long blond hair asks.
“Excuse me?” You feel your pulse go up in embarrassed.
“A joint? I have one if you wanna smoke a bit?”
You look at her with your mouth a bit open.
Then you gave the group a last look, their laughing looking like they don’t care about a thing in the world.
“Yes… yeah sure why not”
The girl smiles and you follow her to another room, a bathroom which was surprisingly quiet. As soon as she closes the door, the noises sounds muffled.
You Open a window and lean on to the wall.
“You a student too? Or a friend of a friend?” You ask her, hating the awkward silences.
The girls steps beside you and pulls out a joint and a lighter.
“Student sadly, I would be fine with being the cousin of one of the football players” she chuckles slightly and light up the joint pretty smooth.
“So Whats Your name?” She asks you and hands you the joint.
You Take a Hit trying not to cough, but of course you fail.
You mumble your name, as you try to take a normal breath again.
“First time?” A smirk on her a face, but at least she’s not laughing.
“No but I don’t smoke often”
“Hm”
“Sorry what’s your name?”
She takes another hit and it looks way to easy when she does it which bring you wanting to do it better the next time and even better the next one.
“Abby”
“Nickname?”
“Yeah for Abigail”
“Hm cute name” you mention and take your … maybe 4th hit? You should stop counting now.
“Thank you… so what do you study?
“Psychology” I murmur
Her eye brown go up in surprise and you giggle a bit at the face she makes.
“Clinical?” She asks and it surprises gib that she knows about the difference.
“No, general”
“Oh you’re a smart girl then huh?”
You laugh loud and laughing and since you’re in a bathroom the laugh comes back way louder.
“Not really most of the time I miss the classes that I I really wanna watch” you say and your mind goes wandering off to ellie again but you try to focus on Abby in front of you.
“What do you study? Tell me what are you here for Abigail?” You say to her and she makes a face again.
“God only my dad calls me Abigail it’s kinda funny coming from an almost stranger”
And that’s so sweet that you can’t help but smile at her but then your eyes meet…. And god hers are so red that you pray silently that yours do not have the same colour.
“Pre-med”
“And you call me smart girl Abby” you say with big eyes.
“You might become a fucking doctor”
She giggled embarrassed and you could tell that the weed was working.
“I Hope so” she says looking a bit sad even and your first thought was that she might think she couldn’t do it.
You put your arm on her shoulder and your mouth falls open.
Fuck this woman has some muscles.
You squeeze her arm for a second and then realise that she’s staring at you with a confused grin.
“Sorry i Know we Don’t know each other, but I can just like you know feel that you’re intelligent and interesting and hard working and - I mean bro look at your arms I’m not even sure if that’s possible” you say laughing again.
Your laugh doesn’t stop for a few seconds, but as soon as it dies you worried that you might have over stepped the line.
You Look at her Face and she just smiles really nice and not mad or hurt just pure sweetness.
She’s really nice and your sure you guys could be friends and now you’re kinda scared that you gave off the wrong idea.
“What the fuck?”
Your heads turn to the door where a very disturbed ellie is standing.
“Ellie hey… no wait I’m mad at you”
“You’re mad at me? I’ve been looking in the whole damn house and I find you smoking weed from a stranger the fuck do you mean?”
You’ve seen Ellie being angry a lot. She was mad, because of a comic con where she didn’t get to but a signed version of her fav comic. Or when she cursed out some old dude who was driving too slow.
But never this mad.
“We’re going”
Your mind is still spinning then suddenly Ellie grabs your arm and wanting to pull you out the door but Abby steps between you both.
“Sorry but you can’t just do that”
“You don’t know shit”
Abby was definitely taller and stronger than Ellie, but Ellie’s temper was probably even bigger.
“I know she doesn’t want to go with you”
Abby snaps and Ellie’s grip gets stronger around your waist and she goes past Abby through the door.
You give Abby an apologetic look, Ellie only slows down when you are at her car.
“Get in” she hisses
You get in and you swore to yourself that this whole situation will end tonight.
“Ellie-“
“Don’t just please don’t talk right now please”
She sounded exhausted. Hurt as well like she hasn’t slept in days. Her head rests on the steering wheel for a few seconds, her back goes up and down from her strong breathing and you just shut up with tears in your eyes.
The ride was quiet, not even the radio was on. You could only hear the noise of the car driving, it’s humming which calmed you and Ellie down a bit. You still cried in silence the whole time.
You got out of the car without a word and walked up the stairs to your room, Ellie close behind you.
You Open the door with your keys and you both sit down on your bed. This might be the longest time the both of you haven’t talked while being together and it feels so incredible wrong.
“Why did you step back from me in the beginning. Why didn’t you let me touch you?”
Her voice broke at the end and you looked up to see tears running down her cheeks as well.
“Because … I felt like you didn’t want me there with you. Like you would swap me with her if you had the chance. That hurt me and I know I don’t have the right-“
“I would always choose you”
This time she didn’t sound sad, her voice sounds and feels delicate. Something tickled in your heart, like a string only she pulled on.
“I would choose you in every universe, in every scenario just tell me what you want. Tell me what you want and I’ll be it for you”
Ellie has this affect on your heart, your soul.
She could hurt you so much more and you’ll still choose her over and over again as well.
You’ll choose each other.
You Look at her lips and back to her eyes.
“I want you to kiss me-“
She didn’t waste a second, she put her hand on the back of your head and pushed you to her, the first time ellie kissed you, you tasted like weed and alcohol. And Ellie didn’t care.
If you taste like that she’ll taste like it too.
And you would still kiss each other over and over again.
Your hands found her hair again, like a few hours ago but this time you weren’t careful, you touched her the way you wanted.
Her hands found your hip and she pulled you on her lap.
“Wait - wait”
She stopped immediately.
“What about Iris?” You feel like crying again, if you’re just a replacement because it didn’t work out with her then you might kill her.
Ellie gaze is focused on her hand, that’s still on your hip.
“I couldn’t do it”
“Couldn’t do what?”
Ellie closed her eyes, frustration showing on her whole face
“I couldn’t do this to you- Jesus to her I just couldn’t. I kept on wishing it was you instead of her. The whole time and I mean for weeks. But I can’t lose you and I sure as hell can’t forget you”
Your breath feels lost and I feel dizzy.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask her and out both of your hand on her cheeks, so that she looks up at you.
“Why didn’t you? Because I was scared. Scared of losing you or us or both”
Her eyes got a bit watery again, you’ve known her for so long and you couldn’t even read her when she was hurting the most.
“Give me a second”
You got up and grabbed your phone out of your bag.
Audrey, sleep in Dina’s dorm tonight, in Ellie’s bed
And don’t worry about Ellie
Always warm your roommate about hook ups, or whatever this is. God you Hoped this wasn’t a one time thing.
“You’re okay with sleeping here?”
Ellie’s eyes went wide and her face got red.
“Yeah I mean yes for sure why shouldn’t I-?”
You sit down on her lap and kiss her again, harder this time.
“Is it okay if we fuck? Or too fast?” You ask her looking right into her eyes, so she would understand how serious you mean it.
“N-no im fine Are you fine?”
You grinned, she was so cute when she was nervous.
“I’m fine Ellie. Say stop and I’ll stop okay? Promise me you’ll do that?” You kiss down her neck as you speak and even there her skin was burning.
“Yes I can do that”
You get up to her face again and kiss her soft.
“Can you open my dress for me?”
She nods and her hands disappear behind your back.
The fabric on your skin never felt heavier and you just needed to get it off your skin. You needed Ellie to see you, to touch you.
Thank god you’re wearing pretty underwear, otherwise the anxiety would’ve ruined your confidence.
The cold gave you a little shiver, Ellie hand found your waist again and you literally melted under her touch.
A few seconds ago you were nervous how she might look at you. Ellie has experience, you too sure but she’s enough for you just by being here with you in this moment. You don’t know how she feels about you.
The warm light of your lamp shines on her face and her freckles never looked more beautiful.
Her eyes wander over your whole body.
Your lace bra, your legs, stomach and you’ve never felt this intimate with a person. It’s because this time it’s with her. And you feel golden, god she feels golden, the whole room does.
Ellie’s eyes stop at your bra and she grins.
“You’re so pretty” she whispers, as she kisses the exposed skin.
You sigh smiling, your hands finds her t shirt.
“Is this okay?” You ask for her permission.
She nods still kissing, touching your boobs over your bra and the two of you giggle as you take off her shirt and now both of you are almost naked In front of each other.
“I really wanna do this with some music on” she mumbles under her breath. A few moments later frank oceans voice is filling the room from Ellie’s phone. The bad quality made you chuckle.
Your hands touch her black sports bra, caressing over her small breasts and Ellie shivered for a moment.
It’s all you ever wanted.
All her rough and soft parts combine so good and make you feel so much, that you only want to scream.
You’ve seen Ellie in a sport bra before, at the beach or when she came from the gym, but you’ve always had this weird love for her toned forearms.
Ellie watched you with drunk looking eyes. Now she looks like the one who smoked the joint.
“I’ve imagined this before, so often it’s kinda embarrassing” she confesses.
You shake your head. “Im sure that I could keep up with it”
Your fingers started to make little circles around her nipples while you watched her face carefully, so that you wouldn’t kiss one expression.
Her eyes shut down and her brows furrow in pleasure.
For a while both of you almost fought about the control.
“Please let me take this off” she begs her hands already on your back, as she fumbles trying to get your bra open which was hard because you were moving a lot. From her neck, to her ear, to the other side.
But as soon as your breast were completely exposed, Ellie’s eyes darken and a satisfied grin appears on her mouth.
Feeling her eyes on you made your skin burn and you bury your face in your hands again growling frustrated.
“Please stop Ellie” you begged but you couldn’t help letting a little laugh coming out of your mouth.
You felt her hands on your boobs grabbing them softly, with a chuckle she starts massaging them.
“Stop What?” She mumbles, playing dumb obviously.
Her hands leave and suddenly it feels too cold without them. Ellie gently grabs your wrist and moves your hands away, so she could look at your face.
“Look at me, I won’t do anything unless you watch” she whispers.
It terrifies you for some reason. This moment and the consequences it will have.
Her head moves a bit lower to your boobs and she looks you in the eyes. You feel your emotions everywhere in your body, some are different from others.
“Here”
Ellie takes your hand and guides it too her hair.
“Hold my hair back for me” her voice sounds almost like she was in a trance, a trance she surly enjoyed.
The strings of her hair felt soft around your fingers and you decided to use both of your hands, so that no hair got into her face.
You heard a soft chuckle before she starts kissing your breast softly at first, while looking at you.
Her lips slightly brush against your already swollen nipple and you let out a loud high pitched moan.
You could feel her grin on your skin and all the embarrassment was gone.
She gently caresses over your nipple with her tongue and her fingers played with the other one.
“I really love these fuck” she whispers
The feeling in your core got worse and worse and the needy feeling was almost getting too painful.
“Ellie please I-“ her tongue flickers over you pink swollen nipple and you moan again.
“Hm?” She says completely focused on her work.
“Can you please eat me out or finger me I don’t care just please-“
the look on you face showed her how much you need it, because she immediately stopped and dropped you off her lap onto the bed.
“Yeah I can do that, didn’t know you could ever beg for something” she lets out a little giggle in her typical husky voice, while she kisses you down your body.
Your back found the wall and you changed your position, so that you could still watch her.
Her hands removed your underwear and the cold on your pussy makes you shiver.
She puts your legs over her shoulder and lays down on her stomach.
Her head lift up and she looks at you with a grin, an amused grin.
“What?” Your voice shakes a bit.
“Nothing just happy to be here”
You let out a loud laugh which died a second later, because Ellie starts to lick your clit in evil circles.
“You’re so fucking wet” she murmurs with closed eyes just saw tasting you.
Your voice got louder and louder by every move her tongue made and you could feel her enjoying every second.
“Oh my god faster Ellie please-“
Her tongue licks you faster, she couldn’t stop humming to your moans like she was feeling it too.
“You taste so good, just like I imagined”
Because of her words you got Even more turned on and you moan again, while Ellies holding you legs steady around her face.
“I’m gonna add a finger okay?”
You nodded energetic and gave off a little noise.
“Please Ellie just fuck me” you’re voice sounded like somebody else’s, way too high and way too filthy.
Ellie just chuckled and put her a finger inside your Pussy. She could feel how you’re legs tense on her cheek, as she continued too lick you’re clit.
The cruel combination made you go crazy, feeling dizzy in your head and your hips began too move on their own.
Ellie saw that as a sign too go faster as well, and her finger pushed in an out of your cunt.
“Ellie- please don’t stop”
She grins again, never imagined she would actually have you going crazy like this because of her.
“You’re getting tighter you close baby?” She teased shameless.
“Fuck- so close god-“
She adds another finger and the sudden stret made you moan and tremble at the same time.
“Come for me baby, please, make a mess on my fingers” Ellie sounded close herself and hearing her voice this desperate made you come so hard that you only saw stars for a moment.
“Oh my god- Ellie I’m gonna-!”
You came hard and ellie took everything you gave her, slurping and licking the fuck out of you.
You couldn’t stop panting for a moment, coming down from your high.
When you open your eyes Ellie was still cleaning up the mess you made, feeling her tongue on your skin.
“Okay Ellie- enough or I’m gonna cum again”
You said chuckling.
“Not my fault you taste so good holy shit” she puts her finger in her mouth.
“Ew ellie”
“Shut up I just fucked you with my mouth, you’re not allowed too judge me right now” she slides up to you and kisses your lips deeply with her tongue in your mouth, so you could taste yourself.
You kiss her back, just as eager, but the anxious thoughts won’t leave you alone.
“Um-“ you break the the kiss and Ellie whimpers slightly.
“Ellie is this just-“
“I love you.” She interrupts you, saying the words fast and it didn’t feel real for a second.
“What”
“Ive loved you for a while now I just- I’m sorry for not telling you but I was scared, god I was scared”
Her words hurt you, because you’ve felt the same way. Being too scared to tell someone how you feel is a shitty feeling.
She looks at you, but broke the eye contact immediately.
You pull her into you, kissing her cheek, her nose, her forehead, her everything.
“I also love you… that for a while as well”
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A.n: sorry this was so fucking long 😭
And please Interact with the link about helping Palestine it’s literally just one click per day!!!
Anyways I hope you liked it and if there’s anything that I’ve missed or smth pls tell me!!
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Text
HELLO MY DARLINGS
PLEASE READ
So I have heard that even I manifested for everyone
It may not work for everyone
Because you still have to persist yourself
Kinda like this
You could manifest for a job but you still have to work
Someone told me this
And then said that those who promised to manifest in the void for others said that they tried but couldn’t do it for everyone
So their followers called them liars
Please don’t do that
We are the Gods of our OWN reality
Do it yourself
I’m here to guide you
So
Here’s a step by step guide that actually helped someone get super close and helped me get in!!!
First
What is the void state?
The void state is the deepest type of meditation
It is the state of pure consciousness where your body is asleep but the righty side of your brain is awake
Why we need to keep the right side of our brain awake?
Because the right side of our brain is more “creative”
We have two sides of our brain
They’re called “Hemispheres”
Left hemisphere(left side of brain)
Is for your every day activities you use more of during certain classes at school
This sides more logical
Meaning it knows things like
“1+1=2” “You eat cereal with a spoon spaghetti with a fork”
When you stay still for 15-20 minutes not only is your body asleep but your left hemisphere is also asleep
How to enter the void state
To enter the void state one must simply
Be
In the void state anything is possible
You can revise death, heal someone from something, gain magical powers
Become famous be a billionaire marry your celebrity crush wake up next to your SP
Be the coolest person in the world
Have pink hair etc
Nothing is impossible
If you lost someone you could literally manifest in the void they’re still alive and healthy
Here are the steps to entering the void:
1. Get comfortable I don’t care if you lay down or sit up just be in a position where you feel comfy
2. Put on an instrumental to your favorite song if it’s relaxing enough it can even be a rap song
Just no lyrics
Make sure it’s upbeat enough to make you happy and keep you awake
Or a slow pop instrumental I don’t care if it’s Billie Eilish etc
Any song instrumental that gets you in your mood
3. Whilst listening to your instrumental, I want you to start daydreaming
Visualize your dream life
Picture that everything is perfect the way you want it
The 3D can be altered that’s why it’s an illusion
In this very moment that you’re lying down the only thing that’s important is your mind
Allow your thoughts to pass they don’t even matter
Shift those thoughts into your daydream
Fantasize about your dream life
Feel happy feel good
4. While daydreaming about your desires
I want you to picture your desired self as vividly as you can picture them staring into your eyes
Breathing with you
The breathing method I want you to try during this is
The “444” method
Breathe in on 4
Like this
As you’re breathing in through your nose count to 4 in your head or out loud
Then hold it
Release on the count of 8
So hold it then release on 8
Do I this until you feel super relaxed
Now imagine your desired self
Counting to a hundred with you
With each breath in you both count together
What you’re doing here is you are becoming in sync with your desired self
As she/he/they( your desired self) stares into your eyes
Let them count with you picture them just staring at you with a comfy smile and counting with you
Until you reach maybe 100 or 200 whatever you choose
5. After counting
Still imagine your desired self
Imagine they’re telling “you always wake up in the void”
Repeat after them start saying
“I always wake up in the void “
Create affirmations for them to say
And just repeat after them but using first place like they’ll say “You are pure consciousness” so you say “I am pure consciousness”
Become in synch with your desired self as if your souls are one because truthfully this desired version of you is already you
You’re just forming a deeper connection with them in this very moment
6. Start saying together “I am in the void”
7. that’s it
If you’re not in by now
I need you to focus on talking to your desired self today become in synchronized with them
This will help you feel a stronger connection with your desires instead of putting them on a pedestal
Subliminals to use
For Alpha waves
What is Alpha waves?
Alpha waves are a mindfulness meditation exercise that helps relief stress and many other things
The alpha state of mind is a relaxed state of consciousness while awake when the brain produces alpha waves instead of beta waves. Alpha waves can help reduce stress increase productivity, and boost creativity. Some techniques that may help you enter the alpha state include:
(Credit to google haha)
Examples of when you’re in the Alpha wave state
1. When you sit down to watch tv for awhile
2.While studying
3.Maybe reading a book
These are examples of things we do that trigger the alpha state
To get into the alpha wave
Listen to the subliminal above with the waves included
During this subliminal
Focus on deep breathing
Calm your mind
Slow down your heart rate
The frequency of alpha should be at 8 to 13 HZ
The video I mentioned above is at a frequency of 11 HZ
ISOCHRONIC TONES
Isochronic tones are tones that basically forces your brain waves to move in synch with the frequency you’re listening to
Isochronic tones is what I like to call “Synchronized tones “
You can use binaural beats but these and isochronic tones are the not the same
The differences are
Binaural beats are separate frequencies functioning together
While isochronic tones are frequencies of a singular wave
You could use either one
“What if you can’t visualize?”
No worries!
If you are unable to visualize like I was I want you to practice this method instead
The non visualization method:
Requires no daydreaming no visualization
How to enter void with a clear mental image
1. As stated before get into a comfortable position
2. Put on either subliminal or instrumental
3. Close your eyes and instead of visualizing
I want you to lay completely still
In about 15 minutes or when you feel it’s been awhile
Start moving your eyes rapidly
Not too fast
You know when you’re fake sleeping and your mom tries to see if you’re actually asleep
Like that move your eyes
Not like you WANT to wake up but more like as in you are dreaming
This will trick you into thinking you’re in the “R.E.M” state
The REM state also known as “Rapid eye movement”
This occurs when your brain waves and your mind are becoming consciously aware
You’ll feel like waking up because you’re in the process of waking up
But you’re still asleep
This where you dream
Or if you have Aphantasia(the inability to visualize) whether your dream or not
Many people with aphantasia still dream they’re just low in sensory
Anyways during REM sleep
You’re basically half awake half asleep
The duration is about 90 minutes
To trick yourself into thinking you’re in the REM state
After awhile of laying still and tricking your body into thinking you’re asleep
Move your eyes rapidly
You’ll start seeing little lights or colors that’s behind your eyelids
These are called “phosphenes”
Focus on these colors behind your eyes
Until you feel you’ve are in a self induced trance
You might end up in the hypnagogic state
Hypnagogia are phoshenes which is where you’re between awaking consciousness and sleep
You’ll hallucinate different patterns shapes smells etc
This is just extra information
The main key here is if you can’t visualize
Trick your body into thinking you’re the REM state by moving your eyes
And focusing on the lights shapes sparkles or colors you see behind your eyes
4. When you feel like your mind is blank/fuzzy at this point
Start affirming or counting or both while still focusing on the colors
This helps you take the focus off of your surroundings and your body
Because at this point you’ll be feeling symptoms
If you don’t it doesn’t mean you’re not doing it right
You don’t need symptoms
They’re your bodies reaction to falling asleep
That floating feeling
Is also part of your body falling asleep
You ever had dream you were falling and you wake up thinking you were falling?
The void requires no symptoms
So if you get some don’t get excited
It just means your body is full asleep
It only takes 15 minutes to fall asleep
The Gateway Experience
First and foremost it’s important to know not to use too many different brain wave audios choose a few you resonate with the most
This audio below is from either the 60s or 80s
Anyways it’s been proven by the CiA that the void state exists
Monks have done for centuries tapping into it whilst chanting the OM mantra
Below I’ve provided the hemi synch subliminal and a theta wave subliminal one with the OM mantra one without
And one is for shifting realities but you can block out the shifting affs if you just wanna enter the void
We have different brain waves here’s what each one is and used for
Beta wave: Alertness awakened consciousness active thinking
Examples
You in school or work
Theta wave: Creativity
Dreaming deep meditative states
Examples
Meditation or when you’re about to fall asleep
Delta waves: Deep sleep
Reduced waking consciousness
Examples
Deep sleeping
Epilson waves: Spiritual awareness and insight along with inspiration
Subliminals I recommend
And good luck guys
I love you babies so much
But please remember not to give these subliminals or even me
Power
The power lies within you
So if these work
It’s because you allow them too
You might think you’re self concept is good
But there’s two versions of your mind
Your 3D brain and your 4D brain
Your 4D brain is where your imagination lies
Your 3D brain is you right now
Both are you but they must both be in synch
Your 3D brain needs to also know your power
In other words you could say all you want that you’re “The God of your reality” or that you “Enter the void easily”
But you need to actually believe it
Many believe that reprogramming the subconscious mind takes months or weeks have clearly never of Psych k
Psych k is a method that aligns both sides of the brain in tune to absorb whatever information you tell it
It’s supposed to require your brain in only minutes
Watch this video to learn how to do it
youtube
youtube
youtube
youtube
I know some success stories are exaggerated but never get discouraged if you do
Search “Electra Soul” on YouTube
She helped me when I needed the motivation
Here is more subliminals for you to try out
Don’t ask people to enter for you
Because it’s not 100% guaranteed even if it was
Everything in your life
Is the way this because of how YOU assume it to be
Change your assumptions
If I entered for everyone but you still have a shitty self concept
Your life would not be better that’s like me giving a kid homework for something he’s already been taught
But he still expects me to do it for him
How else does he learn? He does it himself
Then if he needs help he asks
Reason why they’re called “TEACHers” to teach you the things you need to know not do it for you
Plus you feel so much more accomplished and confident when you get things done by yourself
At the end of the day all you have is you
We’re all just random strangers
Your subconscious mind is not a person so stop talking at it
But talk TO it
It’s like a tape recorder
The current tape that’s in is repeating negative affirmations that’s you’ve subconsciously embeddeded into your mind
Change the tape
Re record those thoughts
Place them with wanted desired thoughts
Here’s more subs for you as I mentioned earlier
youtube
Hemi Synch
youtube
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foreingersgod · 9 days
Note
Can you write a CC x country reader that has a heavy accent, like Texas or smth and how it makes people react to it?
this is such a cute idea, i decided to put my own little twist on it so i hope you like it!
Texas Twang . CC
pairing: caitlin clark x reader
synopsis: you were born and raised on a texas farm, eventually moving away for college where you met caitlin. here’s a list of 5 times she’s fallen in love with you and your accent
A/N: #5 is a wee bit spicy (trying to feed ya’ll as per request) so please skip it if you’re uncomfortable with that!
also i got these sayings off of google cause i dont know any texas slang or how to convey the reader having an accent so sorry if they’re literally not real 😭
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
1. when you first met
you were panicked, running around your small room trying to find your stupid fucking phone. you were already running 5 minutes behind, the clock on the wall told you, but you wouldn’t be able to find your first class of the morning regardless if you didn’t find your phone. checking under your heap of blankets, in the drawers of your desk, and even in your laundry basket, you found nothing.
then, after throwing every book out of your backpack as a last resort, you saw it laying below discarded orientation papers and sticky notes. with a sigh of relief, you snatched your phone and sprinted out of your building.
you were running at full speed, which was a little embarrassing considering every one else on campus was just walking normally. but you were extremely behind and would be so mad if you were late to your first class at this school. so you continued to weave through people. you dodged campaigners, sped through large groups on the lawns, probably knocking down a few people in the process.
your sprinting seemed to pay off when you noticed the building up ahead. you glanced at the time, seeing you still had a few minutes to make it if you really hurried. your legs ached as you continued to speed walk past bypassers.
then, without notice, you ran right into someone passing by. the force of your impact causing the both of you to fall to the ground in the middle of the quad. if you weren’t late already, you surely would have been now.
“shit” you heard the other person cuss under their breath. you looked up, still planted on the ground, to the person in front of you.
she was an insanely attractive woman. lean, about 6 foot, muscular, just your type you might add. she was pushing herself off of the concrete side walk, brushing the gravel from her pants. you followed suit, standing up then apologizing profusely for running into her.
“oh my hell, i’m so sorry” you exclaimed “i was goin’ way too fast, i apologize”
she gave you a crooked smile, shaking her head.
“no you’re ok, it happens, i should’ve been paying attention”
“no, really ‘s my bad”
her face twisted ever so slightly as you talked “you’re not from around here are you?” she blurted “sorry, that’s completely irrelevant, i just noticed the accent”
you laughed, this wasn’t the first time someone was confused by the heaviness of your accent “it’s fine, i don’t mind. yea, no i’m from a small town in texas, i moved up here for college recently”
“oh really? that’s cool” she smiled, extending her hand to you “well, i’m caitlin by the way”
“i’m YN” you returned her handshake “ ‘s so nice to meet you, but i’m runnin’ late for class”
“wait” she stopped you before you ran past her “do you think i could grab your number, maybe i could take you out sometime?”
you were all smiles “i’d like that, i’d like that very much”
2. your first argument
you don’t even know how it started. all you knew is that some girl was getting flirty at the bar and, according to your girlfriend, you were letting her seduce you. this was obviously not true. you and caitlin hadn’t been dating that long, but it has going really well and she’s incredibly important to you. important enough that you wouldn’t just be flirting with other women at the bar.
nonetheless, you were being dragged out of the bar. caitlin was oozing jealousy as you headed back to your place for the night.
“she was all over you, YN” caitlin sneered, following you into your apartment and slamming the door.
“oh my god, she wasn’t!” you rolled your eyes “good lord, arguing with you ‘s like tryna piss up a god damn rope”
“what?”
“what do you mean what?” your accent was thick, rolling off your tongue.
“what the hell does ‘pissing up a rope’ mean?” she looked at you confused, dropping the girl from the bar entirely.
you looked at her equally confused “you don’t say that here?”
“uh no, i think that’s a you thing” she said “your texas slang is distracting me and it’s making it very hard to be mad at you right now”
you chuckled, kissing her cheek “ ‘s just my southern charm, baby”
3. when you sing in the car
caitlin hated country music for the most part. but when you came along, you made it your duty to get her to enjoy it at least a little bit. she had never been subjected to small farm country music and to you, that was a sin.
so you’d play it for her on occasion, if she let you. and surprisingly it was pretty often. she would never tell you, but she only put up with country music just to hear you sing it. she was completely mesmerized by the way your accent mixed with the tune of the songs.
one day you were in the car together, on the way home from a get together with friends. it was a warm summer evening, sun on the brink of setting causing the sky to glow shades of orange and pink. cait was driving, per usual, you being her honorary passenger princess. she rolled down all the windows for you (even the sunroof) just how you liked it. you loved feeling the hot summer breeze blow through your hair with the radio turned all the way up.
“you follow me, and lead me on..” you hummed lightly, ‘all your’n by tyler childers sounding through the car radio.
she snuck glances at you as she drove down the empty street, watching how you let your arms hang out with window and let the wind fan over your face.
“so ill love you till my lungs give out” you closed your eyes, lost in the moment “i ain’t lying’”
caitlin so desperately wanted to pull over and listen to you sing all night long. your voice was like a gift from the gods. the way your accent slurred with each word had her melting in the drivers seat.
“i’m all your’n” you looked over to caitlin, smiling “ ‘n you’re all mine”
she smiled back, reaching across the console and resting her hand on your thigh.
she let you play your music the rest of the way home, just wanting to listen to you sing for a little bit longer.
4. when you met her family
you had waited months to meet caitlin’s family. no really, families were your thing. growing up in texas, it was common to be in or surrounded by a big family. and you knew big families more than anyone else, having 9 siblings, you being the middle child. it was a setting you thrived it and you tended to get along with people pretty well.
caitlin was hesitant to introduce you, she was freshly out of the closet and had never brought a girl home before. but this thanksgiving, she thought it was the perfect time to introduce you.
“so, YN” caitlin’s mother asked from across the table. “i’m sure you’re not used to such a small family, caitlin told me you come from quite the family tree?”
caitlin’s hand found your knee under the table, squeezing it lightly for comfort.
“oh yea,” you chuckled “my mama had a whole litter with 9 ‘a us. it was always crazy around the house, with 5 brothers n 3 sisters. and my daddy wasn’t around to help out off’n, but that’s a whole ‘nutter can a worms”
the way her family reacted to your voice made caitlin laugh under her breath, watching how they slowly dissected your sentence trying to make out the words from beneath the accent. she thought it was cute, lucky to have such a unique and special girl.
even the way you interacted with her younger cousins had her fawning over you, you were just so sweet and gentle.
“hiya, sweetie” you smiled as caitlin’s baby cousin accidentally fell into you “took a bit of a spill there didn’t ‘cha?”
you were the perfect picture of a warm welcome, full of beauty and grace and kindness. caitlin knew, from this moment, you’d be in her life forever.
SPICE AHEAD
5. during sex
she’d be lying if she said that damned accent didn’t get her riled up. because truly, it had her wet the second you started talking.
when she would have you pressed up against the wall, one leg wrapped around her torso as she kissed down your collarbone and onto your cleavage. the way you would moan “oh darlin’” oh so sweetly in her ear had her going crazy.
the rare instances in which you would take the lead in bed, watching as you crawled atop of her, stripping her bare. how you would hook your fingers under her underwear, tugging them down her long and toned legs. she was already bucking her hips into nothing. then you’d fasten your arms under her thighs, pulling them apart to place delicate kisses along the insides of her legs.
you’d tease her a bit more before dropping your head low, hot breath fanning against her glistening cunt. she bit her lip, trying to suppress moans of pleasure, and you had hardly touched her yet. you took your time with her, tongue dragging deliciously against her, savoring the taste.
“well you’re just sweeter than cherry pie, aren’t ‘cha baby” you’d praise, having her arching under your touch. with that, she couldn’t hold her moans any longer, completely coming undone as you continued to treasure every inch of her body.
you were going to be the death of her. 
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
A/N: alright guys i tried to make it a little spicier, so feedback is much appreciated cause i honestly feel like it sucked lol
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mahboimahboi · 8 months
Text
TEACHER'S PET x M!Reader (featuring Actor Mackenyu)
Smut (⚠️)
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"Yo, our P.E Teacher is so fucking capital H-O-T. Do you think he's married?" You nudged your seatmate, eyes lingering towards the instructor who was standing at the front while he wrote some very important notes on the whiteboard. 'Damn, even the marker look so small in his hand', you thought to yourself, too lost in your thought. It was never your intention to especially fall in love with a teacher, let alone someone who's really strict, but it was the way how he looks so above average than the rest of the teachers in the school. He's so out of this world and looked as though he came straight out of a comic book. Oh, and let's not forget the biceps and the strong arms. He's just so ethereal.
"That's what I've heard," You got snapped out of your trance and looked at your classmate confused. She sighs and stops from listening to the lesson for a minute and turns to you, knowing you were once again daydreaming about the instructor who's literally a whole lotta years older than you. "I mean, I've heard that he's a married man and has a child. So, if i were you, I'd stop sending heart eyes to him, unless you want to get fucking obliterated by his wife." She deadpanned.
"Oh, well—"
"Mr. L/N. Yes, I'd really be glad if you'd come visit me in my office after our class." Your instrutor said, fixing the glasses he had on, before he looks towards you and eyes you. "Don't think I haven't caught you not paying any attention to my class. All you did is disturb your classmate. I can't tolerate that." He let out with a deep, authoritative voice. It sent shivers down your spine and you swore you felt yourself go pale at the sight of his tiger eyes eyeing you down with anger.
"Y-Yes, sir Maeda." You stammered, not even daring to look at his eyes. With all the times he taught the class, this is the only time he called your attention out for not listening to the class. You are finally at the last strike. Only for this specific teacher, you wanted to be seen as a good student. One who studies and does well in class to impress your instructor, but all you ever did so far was to irritate the male. So much for a good impression. Embarrassed, you buried your head in your arms, wanting to just vanish.
Later, after your class session with Mr. Maeda ended, the instructor gestures with his eyes for you to follow him to his office. You did as you are told, hanging your head low, ashamed of yourself. Usually, Mr. Maeda would talk to you about important stuff, but now it is rather silent and... awkward. The rest of the walk was quiet, too much that it was deafening.
Once you both arrive at his office, he lets you in first, looking up at him only to see him raise a brow at you. You squeaked in fear and entered the room quickly, scared with what he had in plan for you. "Mr. L/N. Your attitude in class is getting out of hand." Mr. Maeda starts, his voice low as he puts his books on his table before sitting down his swivel chair. "It's quite disrespectful staring at your teacher with so much going on inside your head." Hearing those words, you hesitantly look up to see the adult male with a smirk on his handsome face. He tilts his head to the side, then stands up from his seat and slowly starts striding his way towards you. "Tell me, what goes on in your head during my class... Y/N?" His voice came out like a slither, a spell from a book that entranced you.
You swallowed the huge lump that formed in your throat, looking away from the male. The male scoffs, leaning on the edge of his table, now stood in front of you, crossing his arms. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, Y/N. Haven't I taught you proper respect enough?" You stayed silent, but you could already feel yourself start to get hard. You subtly moved your hands to cover your erection that made an obvious tent on your pants. "Well, look who got excited." He mocked. "Y/N. While I'm asking nicely, answer me."
"I-It's... too absurd." You answered him, but the other male was unfazed.
"Well, I don't care how absurd it is." But then, a bright idea flickers in his head and a soft chuckle moves past his lips. "Alright, if you're afraid to tell me," He trailed off, moving towards you. He sat down beside you, enticingly spreading his legs open and whispering to your ear. "Why don't you show me?" His smirk grows wider, when he notices the red color on your face.
You covered your ears and moved away as far as you can from him. "S-Sir. I mustn't. You have a child and a wife. I can't simply—"
"Who told you that?" He asks you, his voice stern and sounded frustrated. You didn't say a word. "Y/N, I'm starting to get fucking bored." You started to think about it, whether or not you'd take the opportunity, but the fact that he never confirmed whether or not what you heard is true, scares you and it isn't just right.
In the end, it only took one forceful and lust-filled kiss that was initiated by Mackenyu who had one hand behind your neck. At first, shock was the only thing you felt, before the male started to feel you up and down your waist. This wasn't right. It didn't feel right at all, but why did it feel so good at the same time? You, soon melt into the kiss and start kissing him back lavishly, following the same rhythm.
Much to the male's surprise, he didn't know you were that easy of a prey and he was a predator, ready to eat the result of his hunt. Too high in the clouds and your head filled with lust, you made your way to ride on his thighs, being careful not to break the kiss. Mackenyu notices how you still looked a little hesitant. Wanting to help, he pulls away and puts his hands on both sides of your hips. "Listen, Y/N. Don't believe everything you've heard about me. You're getting too stiff for me to handle." You blushed at his words, then nodded your head in reply. "That's a good boy." He commented, before pushing his lips back to yours.
Your bottom felt a slight poke, catching your attention. You pulled away from the other male, watching you start to stroke him. "Whatever you want, doll." He smirks.
You got down to your knees, feeling the warmth he gave off. Hurriedly, you unzip the zipper to his pants only to realize that he wore no under garments underneath, turning you on even more. Due to his tight pants and the girth of his cock, the button pops off, almost hitting you on the forehead. "Oh my, sir. I've always imagined just how big you are." You stated, smirking proudly to yourself now that you've finally made a dream come true.
The male groans and puts his hand on top of your head as you desperately wrap your lips around his cock. Mackenyu lets out a breathy moan, pushing his head back as he lets you do your own thing. It felt good to know a person is very skilled with their mouth. "Fuck, doll. You're making me feel so good." He hums in pure bliss, standing up as he takes a hold of your head and starts fucking your mouth out with his dick, surprising you. Fortunately, you have trained yourself enough to get through a rough mouth-fucking, but the taller male's size is a lot larger than what you've thought. You took it good, though and it was enough for Mackenyu who looked like he was having the time of his life. "Holy shit. Fuck." He grunts, biting on his lip.
This went on for a few minutes, before his thrusts started to get sloppy, indicating that he was near his climax. He doesn't say a word or heads up, only shocking you when he buries his thick cock in your throat and finishes. "FUCK!" He moans out with his mouth left hanging open, convulsing in place.
He gives your mouth a few more thrusts to ride out his high, before pulling out and taking out spare pants from his drawer. "Haven't felt that good for so long, no rather, at all." He told you, yet you are still in a daze with what just happened, smiling to yourself. "I don't think you'd want this to be the first and last, right, Y/N?" He asks you in a sultry voice.
"No, sir." You let out making the teacher smirk in success. You pass out in his office room and the male lifts you into his arms and puts you down on a bench near his desk where you can rest comfortably.
"Good pet." He laughs softly, before he goes out of his office and moves to his next class.
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