#and i honestly think this is how girls and women generally saw b throughout his life with many realizing he was bi not gay

[musclesandhammering]

Every Single Issue I Have With S*lki (It’s Not Just The Selfcest)

Here goes. I threatened to post this a few days ago and never did, but I just saw a s*lki stan Twitter account claim that Loki caring about Sylvie more than the whole multiverse was a Good And Romantic thing and it pushed me over the fucking edge, so now you all have to read this. I’ve divided it into categories cause there’s just THAT much.

OOC Bullshit

• First and foremost, no amount of mental gymnastics you do will ever make me believe that this specific Loki- the one that just invaded New York, that just came off a year of Thanos Torture, that just got done being influenced by the sceptre, that was literally in the middle of a crisis already, and then on top of that went through all the trauma of Ep 1- would even be worried about a romantic relationship. That would be the furthest thing from his mind. Go back and watch how he acted in Avengers- you think that guy would abandon his previous mission to become a snivelling simp for a girl he’d just met 3 days prior? Yeah, there’s no universe in which that makes sense.

• “It’s very in character for Loki to fall in love with himself lololol-“ NO, it’s literally not. Out of all the characters in the mcu, I don’t think I can think of anyone that genuinely hates themselves more than Loki. He even referred to all his other male variants as “monsters” and said meeting them was “a nightmare” in this series. He’s got so much self-loathing, plus the fact that he genuinely thinks himself to be an evil backstabbing scourge- so there’s no evidence at all suggesting that he would ever develop a fondness for, or even be inclined to trust, another version of himself, after only knowing them for 3 days.

• Building on that, the whole concept of Loki falling in love with a version of himself just feeds into the annoying ass misconception that he’s a narcissist. No matter which way you stack it, he’s not. If you’re referring to NPD, he doesn’t fit the criteria, and if you’re saying “narcissist” just as a slang term meaning “selfish and arrogant”, that still doesn’t accurately describe him. But when creators like Waldron and Herron do things like having him fall in love with himself, it makes it so much easier for casual viewers to think that he is.

Shitty LGBT Rep

• It’s kinda sus that Loki’s are allegedly genderfluid and yet the only female-presenting variant we see (and apparently the only female-presenting variant there is, cause the male Loki’s all seemed unfamiliar with the concept) is treated as some kind of mind-bogglingly special paradox. Also very sus that, out of all the Loki variants, the one our Loki falls in love with just so happens to be the only female one. What a coincidence.

• The fact that the creators of the show went around bragging about Loki’s bisexuality and Marvel purposefully (lbr) allowed stories about Loki possibly having a male love interest to circulate, specifically enticing queer viewers to watch the show (you know, the definition of queerbaiting), and then instead of having a male love interest (Loki was the first queer main character, so it was the perfect opportunity) they gave us *gestures to this dumpster fire* this… it’s just a middle finger to LGBT fans. The fact that they would rather have this relationship with all its myriad of problems than have a gay relationship is just……. Very telling.

• While him being with a woman obviously doesn’t refute his bisexuality, the fact that they showed/talked about him being interested in 3 different women (flight attendant, Sylvie, Sif) and never even hinted at him being attracted to a man, definitely makes it seem like they were trying to cover up his bisexuality to smooth things over with the more homophobic viewers. You know? It’s like “I know you’re pissed that we sorta confirmed Loki as bi, so we promise we’ll never mention it again! Or even hint at it! As a matter of fact, we’ll give him lots of female lovies and make him seem as straight as possible! That’ll take your mind off of that horrible crumb of queer rep, right? Please please please keep giving us your money!!!”

• Aside from all the other issues, at its core, the biggest reason why I think I’m so irritated with s*lki is that it took one of the most interesting, complex, and diverse characters in cinema atm and squished him into a tired ass unnecessary heteronormative subplot…. Like literally every. single. other. protagonist. ever. Loki is such a unique character, and it’s so so so incredibly disappointing that they stuck him into that same boring cookie cutter romance that happens to every other character in every other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a disservice, and it’s honestly just not compelling or entertaining at all.

Thematic Issues Galore

• His arc didn’t need a romance. With anyone. It was unnecessary and it didn’t make sense plot-wise. In fact, one of the reasons he was my fav prior to this was because he was the only big-name mcu character whose story wasn’t muddied-up by a romance that didn’t need to be there. So much for that.

• He wasn’t emotionally ready for a romantic relationship with anyone. Hell, just a genuine friendship would’ve been pushing it for him at this point. He was in such a bad state that any relationship he got into would’ve been toxic and unhealthy for both him and the other person, and it doesn’t make sense why the writers would want to put him in one when there were so many cons and essentially no pros (other than “Uwu aren’t they cute together”).

• Sylvie’s character in general was unnecessary and Loki’s character was robbed just by her being there. The whole show became about her post-Ep 2. They spent most of the time giving her backstory, building her up, telling us how awesome she is, trying to convince us to like her, etc when what they really needed to be doing was building Loki up- cause I gotta say, if I had to describe TVA!Loki in a few words, they would be Flat, Boring, and Weak.

• The romance overtakes the plot. They spend time portraying their supposed connection that could’ve been spent adding depth and complexity to literally any of the characters. They make the big Nexus Event them giving each other googly eyes on Lamentis when it could’ve been so many other way more profound things that speak to the fundamental nature of Loki’s. They have the climax of the finale be “oh no she betrayed him to kill He Who Remains” when it could’ve been something way more compelling (Loki having a moral crisis over whether or not to kill HWR, Loki contemplating the state of the multiverse and weighing the pros and cons of freedom vs order, Loki looking into some What If situations and getting emotional about what could’ve been regarding his family, Loki realising the gravity of HWR’s offer and finally coming to terms with how important he is to the universal cycle, etc etc). The entire plot suffered in favour of a romance that half of us didn’t even want.

• It essentially reduced all of Loki’s potential character growth down to “He did it for his crush.” He seemed to at least have some motivations of his own in Ep 1-2 (feeble as they were) but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, literally every action he took was just him being a simp for her. Why did he lie in the interrogation? To try to protect Sylvie. Why did he fight the minutemen and Timekeepers? To survive kinda, but mostly cause it was important to Sylvie. Why did he get pruned? Cause he got distracted trying to confess his crush to Sylvie. Why did he try to get out of The Void? Cause he thought Sylvie needed him. Why did he stay in The Void? Cause Sylvie was staying. Why did he try to enchant Alioth? Cause Sylvie told him to. Why did the multiverse get cracked open, leading to an infinite number of Kangs waging war on all of existence? Cause Loki didn’t wanna hurt Sylvie in their fight at the Citadel and then get distracted by her kissing him. It’s uninteresting and honestly pretty embarrassing.

• Throughout their “relationship arc” the writers do their absolute damndest to convince us that we should like Sylvie more than Loki. And you know what? It’s the most hypocritical shit I’ve ever seen. They preach and preach about how Sylvie’s life has been so difficult/we should feel bad for her/she had it so bad/poor poor sylvie/she had it SO much worse than pampered prince Loki…. But then they never even touch on any of Loki’s trauma of hardships (the ones that have been ignored for literally 3 movies now). They frame Sylvie as a good person and a Freedom Fighter after she spent literal decades/centuries mass-murdering brainwashed TVA agents and showing exactly zero remorse for it….. but then they make it their mission to constantly remind us that Loki is a terrible person and constantly put him in situations where he’s forced to acknowledge his wrongdoings/show remorse/admit to how “evil” he is for being a mass murderer for like 2 years. They show him on-screen having a wider range of powers than her, and perpetuate his whole shtick of being a “master manipulator” or whatever….. But then they make Sylvie “the brawn” more competent, intelligent, and physically capable than him. Tell me how it’s a good thing for a ship to be so narratively biased toward one character.

Missed Opportunities

• If they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, then they could’ve paired Loki with one of the characters that have already been established OR one of the characters that were a big part of the whole TVA storyline anyway. It would’ve been so interesting if they’d revealed that Loki had a history with some of the players from previous films (Sif and Fandral both come to mind). It also would’ve been really interesting if they’d given Loki a love interest that actually had some allegiance to the TVA as a whole (Mobius maybe, but not necessarily. It also could’ve been Renslayer or B-15). Hell, imo it would’ve been cool if they’d followed through with that “See you again someday” line that he said to the flight attendant in Ep 1. ALL of these characters have way more chemistry with him than Sylvie, and they were also already relevant to the plot without wasting half the show to give background info on them.

• If they absolutely had to have a hetero-presenting love story involving an enchantress-type figure, then there’s a whole Enchantress (Amora) that was actually Loki’s love interest in the comics. Plus, fans have been screaming for Amora to appear in the mcu for years. Plus, Tom literally pitched an Amora/Loki storyline way back in 2012-13. Also, Lorelei (another enchantress) is also one of Loki’s love interests in the comics, and she already exists in the mcu (she was on Agents of SHIELD). There were several different established characters for them to choose from. Creating a whole knew amalgamation of a character and going with the “she’s a Loki variant” storyline was just completely unnecessary and made no sense.

• They completely robbed us of a Chaos Twins dynamic. Had they handled Sylvie better and not forced her and Loki to smooch, the two of them could’ve had a really really complex and interesting sibling relationship. Loki could’ve stepped into Thor’s shoes and sort of used that new role to gain some self importance, and Sylvie could’ve finally had somebody to look out for her/teach her magic/be there for her. It would’ve been very aesthetically pleasing, the vibes would’ve been out of this world, it would’ve been way more profound than this bs, and frankly it would’ve been much more entertaining to watch.

• Loki’s relationship (read: obsession) with Sylvie completely overshadows all Loki’s other relationships in the show. Loki and Mobius were literally the focal point of the series in Ep 1-2, but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, they barely had any interactions with each other, and Mobius pretty much faded to the background entirely. Loki had the beginnings of a pretty interesting antagonistic relationship with Renslayer (with her wanting him pruned, then arguing with Mobius that he couldn’t be trusted), but after Sylvie showed up the dynamic shifted to focus on the history between her and Ravonna. Loki and B-15 started off very badly and openly disliked each other throughout Ep 1-2, and then in the end of Ep 2, Loki showed a little bit of concern for her when she was possessed, hinting that they might be inching toward a reconciliation- especially considering how obvious it was that Loki was gonna uncover the TVA’s sins eventually. There was so much potential for him to be the one to give her her memories back and convince her to change sides, but no, of course that honor went to Sylvie. In fact, after Sylvie showed up, Loki and B-15 never even spoke to each other again.

Various S*lki Fails

• If they were trying to convince us that this affection was mutual, they completely failed. There’s nothing I’ve seen that even hints at Sylvie feeling the same way about Loki that he does about her. At most, I’d say she has a slight endearment to him. She finds him likeable and she’s grudgingly fond of him, but she definitely isn’t in love with the guy. Maybe she thinks he’s cute and hopes that he gets out of this mess alright, but her mission obviously comes before him- whereas, it’s been confirmed multiple times that Loki cares about her above anything else. She doesn’t trust him, she looks at him like he’s an incompetent fool half the time, she shows little to no reaction during most of his confession moments, and she kissed him as a means to distract him so that she could get him out of her way. Look, all I’m saying is, when you get into a relationship where one of you is way more invested than the other, it never ends well.

• This goes without saying for a lot of us, but the selfcest is just straight up odd and cringey. If you’re cool with that sort of thing, fine! People can ship what they want! But don’t pretend it’s not at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yes, I know they’re not technically siblings so it’s not technically incest, and they’re also not technically the exact same person, but they’re similar enough that it makes things weird. And yes I know selfcest can’t happen in real life, so there’s no way to judge it morally, but neither can most of the other stuff that happens in these shows/movies (the Snap, Loki destroying jotunheim, superhero with powers being held accountable, mind control) and yet we still find ways to judge their morality, because they all mirror real-world events. (The snap= genocide; Loki destroying Jotunheim= bombing other countries; superhero accountability= weapons accountability; mind control= grooming and coercion). And lbr the closest real-world mirror to two versions of the same person (who may or may not share DNA, family, backgrounds, physical and emotion characteristics) being romantically involved with one another is incest. And you can be ok with that if you want- that’s your prerogative- but don’t get pissy just cause a lot of us are squicked out by it.

• The whole mirror metaphor (learning self love via each other) thing just fell completely flat. First of all, having Loki learn to love himself by looking at someone who mirrors him did not, in any way shape or form, require them to be romantically involved. But they were. Of course. Secondly, the creators have contradicted themselves so many times on whether Loki and Sylvie are the same or not, that it doesn’t even really register to the viewer that the mirroring thing was what they were going for. Finally, Loki and Sylvie are shown to have so little in common- and to have only the most bare minimum of similarities personality-wise- that it doesn’t even make sense that Loki would “learn to love himself through loving her”. Like? They’re nothing alike. So how would he make the connection that he himself is actually pretty cool, based on her alone? There’s virtually nothing in her that reflects him.

• I know the objective of the entire show was to convince us of how awesome and unique Sylvie is, but honestly her relationship with Loki just did the opposite. A hallmark of a Mary Sue is having her constantly upstage the male lead, and then having him instantly fall madly in love with her anyway. And that’s.. exactly what happened here. Everything they’re doing to try to force her character to be more stan-able is really just forcing her to look more like their self-insert OC. Which is exactly what she is. It would’ve been so much more satisfying if she didn’t have to try so hard to look cool, if they didn’t have to try so hard to make her backstory tear-inducing, if they didn’t have to turn our protagonist into a snivelling simp just to prove how incredible she supposedly is. Very much #GirlBoss energy and we all know how performative and cheap that is.

• The entire thing was too rushed, there was too little build-up, and it was nowhere near believable. As stated above, it’s ridiculously unlikely that Loki would canonically even be interested in Sylvie, and this show did nothing to explain why he was. He just suddenly was. There was nothing they showed us as viewers that would justify a guy as closed-off and preoccupied as Loki falling head-over-heels for a girl he just met. Their was no explanation, no big revelation, no reasoning, it just… kinda happened. And I’m also severely skeptical of any love story that has the characters go in this deep after only 3 45-minute episodes of exposition.

I’m sure there’s other stuff, so if anyone thinks of anything, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to add it. Tagging @janetsnakehole02 @raifenlf @natures-marvel and @brightredsunset800 for expressing interest. This is all your faults.

#antisylki #loki meta #kinda #loki series critical #loki series negativity #anti loki x sylvie #anti loki series #anti sylvie #frosty bby #loki deserved better #I don’t even like TVA!Loki tho so I guess it doesn’t matter with him lmao #tva loki #loki laufeyson

[benignbucky]

Whiplash Pt. 2

Based on THIS REQUEST

PART ONE

AN: (MINORS DNI) This is probably gonna be the final part, I'm not super feeling this series anymore in all honesty so I'm gonna leave it as a mini series so we can get that resolution. I may come back to it later but for now I am happy with this ending. This could honestly be a standalone but the first part is linked above. Thank you for being so patient with me while I got this out, last weekend was stressful but this weekend is so much better. You may need a fan for the last half of this. ♡

PAIRING: stucky x reader, john walker x reader briefly

Word Count: 2.4k

WARNINGS: John Walker is the ex because absolutely no one likes him and we all know this man radiates tiny pp energy and would be the worst in bed, fighting, minor angst, mostly fluff and smut, unprotected sex (wrap your wang before you bang), threesome, overstimulation, squirting, HELLA praise kink, pet names (baby, peach, good girl), brief mentions of dub-con/non-con with ex, unbeta'ed (all mistakes are my own)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The memories of that night were burnt in the back of your eyes. Seeing your ex, John, for the first time in 6 months and he still had so much power over you.

The second you opened the door, tears sprung to your eyes as a barely audible 'w-what are you doing here?' escaped your mouth before he was walking in, clearly not noticing Bucky and Steve walking over with fury in their eyes.

"You need to leave before this gets messy." Steve and Bucky were easily twice his size, not so much in height but in pure muscle.

"Oh, so you're moved out and fucking both of your roommates. A whore like you would do that, huh?" John

You backed behind Bucky as Steve took the lead. "Listen, I don't care who you think you are but you don't just get to come back around after how you treated her. Let alone call her something she most certainly is not seeing as you're the one that cheated on her with how many women?"

"You may look all big but I doubt you even know how to fight. Useless muscle if you ask me." Little did he know that both incredibly skilled in combat, especially hand-to-hand combat. And that's all it took for Bucky to leap forward and land a bone breaking punch to John's jaw, almost knocking him out cold. This had him backing out the door, learning his place.

"And don't even think about coming back here because next time you'll have to be dragged out," The tone of Bucky's voice was firm and aggressive but only until John walked out of the building before he joined Steve in comforting you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been three hours since John tried to pry himself into your life again. You were still trembling even though you were in the arms of the two people you trusted most. The idea that John could just show up again out of nowhere terrified you more than anything. You were well protected by Steve and Bucky but just having John in the same room, no, same building as you brought on heart shattering fear and anxiety.

You had all migrated to your room, the three of you barely fitting on your queen size mattress. It really showed off how much bigger they were compared to other guys, especially compared to you. Both of them were easily at least a foot taller than you. Their biceps easily closer to the size of one of your thighs than your arms.

Around you, they were gentle giants. That was until they needed to protect you. And they would, with their whole being. They just wanted to show you how much they valued you, how much you lit up their lives. They wanted you to know that it wasn't one sided. The two of them were pampering you in kisses and praise, gentle caresses, doing everything they could to make you feel safe and loved.

Eventually your breathing and heart rate had calmed, turning on your back so you could look at the two men. Their overwhelming appreciation towards you made you want to show your appreciation for them but you were mustering up the courage. You hadn't been intimate with anyone, let alone with yourself since before you moved in. Any experience with John had been too rough, basically forced from you but you didn't know any better.

This one moment with Bucky and Steve, everything felt different. They asked if they could play with your hair, caress your face in their hands, or even to soothingly rub your back. Every touch required you to tell them yes. If it made you even the slightest bit uncomfortable, they would stop and move back to something else you had already agreed to, which only made your core dampen more than it already was.

Fighting the nerves, you kissed them both with nothing but love and passion, hinting for something more. It took them a minute to take the hint but when they did, their actions only got softer.

"Are you sure? You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with." Steve whispered. His and Bucky's eyes had darkened, pupils blown out. This only made you want them more.

You nodded at them both even though you knew they wanted a verbal answer. You gulp before mustering up a soft, "Yes, I want this. Want you. Both of you."

Slowly, you sat up, starting to tug at the hem of your oversized shirt before you felt one metal and one flesh hand move your hands away, removing your shirt for you.

"This is about you, peach. Don't worry about us. We want you to feel good." Bucky whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine but in the best way possible.

Steve was behind you, rubbing circles into your back as Bucky trailed kissed down your jaw and neck. You leaned back against Steve's chest as Bucky's kisses went lower to your chest. "Can we take this off?" Looping his flesh fingers under the strap of your bra.

"Please…" You breathed out your answer, feeling Steve's hand loop under you to unclasp the article of clothing. You gasped at the cold sensation of Bucky's metal hand brushing over your hot skin and he chuckled softly. "You're so fucking beautiful, you know that? Isn't she, Steve?" You leaned back once more only to gasp again at the light flick that Bucky gave to your nipple. "Absolutely gorgeous." Steve hummed his answer, you could feel his length growing underneath you.

The moment you felt Bucky's mouth over your chest left your mouth agape, your back arching at his touch. His mouth didn't linger long as it started moving lower and lower until he was in between your thighs, kissing over your biker shorts but not over where you wanted him the most.

Out of instinct, you reach down to pull off your remaining clothing but Bucky just shakes his head and replaces your hands with his. This time it's him gasping at how absolutely dripping you are. "Oh you poor baby, probably haven't had someone focused on your pleasure in so long."

Steve's hands moved up to tease your chest, massaging and caressing everything he could reach before pulling his shirt off with you still on top of him. Bucky did the same before placing your thighs over his shoulders, looking for any sign of you being uncomfortable but only saw your eyes shut in pleasure.

Dipping his head down, he licked a broad stripe up your dripping cunt, not even giving you time to be shocked as he got to work. Your sounds were only making him work harder as you took his hands in yours at your side.

John only went down on you once and that was after begging him because it was 'only fair' seeing as you had always done it for him. Steve and Bucky didn't even ask, didn't want you to because unlike John, they cared more about your pleasure than their own.

"Such a good girl," Steve mumbled in your ear before leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck. This only fueled your needs.

"More, Bucky. Please…" You had let go of one of his metal hand only to tangle your fingers in his hair, pushing him even further into your core. He was groaning against you at your neediness, which sent vibrations throughout your entire body.

You were about to beg again but before the words could even come out, you felt two cold fingers at your entrance before they slowly slid in and bumping into your g-spot, which wasn't something you had ever experienced before.

"B-Bucky… oh my god! What was that?" You were a blubbering mess at this new found sensation.

Looking up at you and only moving his mouth away to say, "You can't tell me no one has ever?-" His fingers were curling up at an agonizing pace, your hips bucking on his hand was the only response he needed before he started moving at a faster pace. You were almost at your peak, legs trembling, as he put his mouth back on you and sucked your bundle of nerves into his mouth.

You had never felt this much pleasure before in your life. Only a few more strokes of his hand left and you felt like you had exploded, seeing stars. The sounds you were making and your grip on Bucky's hair had him groaning against you, only heightening your peak and making it more intense. Bucky wasn't done yet though, he was going to drag out your high until you couldn't take anymore, Steve nearly forgotten behind you.

Any words you tried to make were incoherent as Bucky finally slowed down and kissed back up your body. "Such a good girl for us, aren't you, baby?" Chuckling at how you could only nod as a response. The two men would have been happy with at that but you were already sitting up and turning around to give Steve attention, which took them both by surprise.

You were a shy person in general let alone during a situation like this but your orgasm only gave you more confidence. Bucky laid down as you crawled up and straddled Steve. As much as he would love to watch you ride him, you were spent. You looked it to. With a swift motion, you were back on your back, legs spread again as Steve pulled down his pants and his briefs, Bucky following behind shortly.

You knew both of them were packing at the one too many times you had walked in on one of them getting out of the shower so you weren't that surprised to see how big they were in the moment. "I would love to taste you but I can't wait any longer, needa be inside you. Is that alright?" Steve accepted your whimper of a yes and draped his body over yours, giving you a tender kiss before reaching down and running a finger in between your folds and lining himself up to your entrance.

He didn't even need to look up at you for approval, you were already snaking your legs around his hips. "Eager girl, aren't you?" Steve smirked before pressing into you slowly, earning a soft moan from you before rocking his hips slowly as you got used to his size before working up to a faster pace. Both of you moaning and groaning as you raked your nails down his back.

"Fuck, so tight. Don't know how long 'm gonna last." You were already squeezing around, trying to milk him for everything he had.

"F-faster… harder…" You begged and he happily obliged. You didn't care if he didn't last much longer, you knew Bucky wanted a turn and you wanted to give them both a chance at you. "Oh my god, Steve. I'm gonna cum… please." Your begging only made Steve's release come sooner, only letting go when you had reached your peak as well, pulling at his hair as he groaned into your neck before his thrusts slowed to a halt.

You were still catching your breath before the two men swapped places. "Think you can handle one more, peach?" Bucky hovered over, looking for any sign of you wanting to stop. "I sure hope so." You chuckled out of breath still before gasping as Bucky flipped you over onto your stomach and pulling your hips up to meet his, his hands resting at your hips.

"That's a good girl," lining himself up, Bucky groaned at the wetness that was Steve's release mixed with yours as he pushed in. Steve was longer but Bucky was noticeably thicker as he pushed into you. "You weren't kidding, Steve. So. Fucking. Tight." Bucky growled out. Steve reached over to moved your hair out of your face before Bucky started thrusting into you.

"If it's too much, just say and we'll stop and take care of you." Steve reassured you before nodding to Bucky, encouraging him to pick up the pace.

And he did, his thrusts were relentless but were all for your pleasure. Neither of you would last very long but he wanted this one to be the best orgasm of the night. "Steve," Bucky managed, nodding his head to Steve, motioning for him to touch you. The whine you let out when Steve scooted down to rub feverish circles around your clit which was only bringing your third incredibly intense orgasm of the night only moments away.

"Oh god… of fuck fuck FUCK…" amongst another string of curses cam out of both you and Bucky's mouth as you came, covering Bucky's thighs, Steve's hand, and your comforter. It only took that sight and a couple more thrusts as Bucky was filling you to the brim. "Fuck…." He groaned, "Can't say I've ever had that happen before."

You drop to lay flat on your stomach on the bed, clearly oblivious to you squirting all over the two men and your blanket, only humming in response. "Did you know that you could do that, baby? Did you know you could squirt?" Your eyes widened at Steve as he asked, he took that answer as an obvious 'no' and chuckled softly.

You wished you could move but you were so fucked out that your limbs were limp. Steve got up and grabbed a new t-shirt and underwear for you to put on as Bucky eased out of you, causing another whine from you at the sensation. Steve left the room temporarily just to get a warm washcloth and a different blanket for the three of you as the other one was deemed in need of a wash.

The two cleaned and dressed you before laying out the new blanket over you. Bucky laid down first, pulling you to lay on his chest before Steve crawled behind you, spooning you. You were barely conscious but you heard the small I love you's and praises from them about how good you did. You breathed out a small 'love you too' before falling asleep.

#♡benignbucky♡ #stucky #stucky smut #stucky blurb #stucky fanfic #stucky x y/n #stucky x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes blurb #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes headcanon #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers #steve rogers smut #steve rogers angst

[wilted3sunflowers]

characters made for @oznitus​ dorm, ling already knows Mara but now they also get to meet the new group on the block

They all hail from The Emerald Plains 

Mara Malice Species: human Inspired by: Madam Morrible  Height: 5′7″ Age: 21 Favorite Food: salt water taffy Hated Food: Corn [popcorn is the only corn allowed]  Fun Fact: Would have been part an important family but her father ran off with his “true love” in poverty instead of just marrying who he was arranged with. Mara doesn’t know this.  Unique Magic: The Fates Design She can set the goal and things will fall into place, if its further into the future or a very hard to accomplish goal it will take a lot of magic, and even saps magic from her a bit for each day as fate gets rolling into place like she wanted. so shes not seen doing a lot of magic, especially if she has plans going on behind the scenes. Most don’t know her unique magic. 

A teachers assistant that typically while helping grade and work on other things is stationed in Oznitus. Kind of like a baby sitter but not that Crowley would say that. She’s actually earned the nickname ‘mama’ from some more ornery students. As her first year being a teachers assistant she kind of wants to put the best example forward and typically will just say white lies.

“Oh no, Trien sir, i just passed those students in the library. Are you sure that it was them you saw? Come, let’s talk this out, i’d love to help you solve this mystery” taking his arm and leading him off meanwhile the students in question hiding under her desk or throughout the room just out of sight.  Actually has grown close friends with the main Oznitus trio, especially Mika who she talks a lot more casually with and interacting more with him like a best friend especially when off the clock so to say. Gets along well with Evett and Theo too.  Mika started a joke of telling the first years to call Mara and Evett ‘Mama’ and ‘Pops’ because they can be quite the more paternal of them trying to keep everyone in line and orderly 

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Viridian Hunter Species: Human Inspired by: The gate keeper Height: 5′1″ Favorite Food: Filet Mignon Hated Food: Chocolate covered Cherries Year: 2nd Age: 18 Class: 2-D  Best Subject: Summoning Club: Light Music - he feels remiss they don’t actually practice their instruments much and a lot of it is just ‘socializing’  Fun Fact: Thinks women are amazing, it’s a common thought from the Emerald plains that the women are the more highly regarded ones. Typically better at magic than the others Though has that actually been put to the test? Where are those stats? How did they test the magic? Seems a bit of just another one of Viridian’s biases  Unique Magic: Lock and Key  He can make anything un-openable but also he can just as easily open anything he wishes with a magic formed skeleton key. He usually can’t open things enchanted though. he’s trying to see if he can though, he wants to see if he can eventually get to that level. 

Met Tsavorite while very young and actually was an orphan the family took in and while they technically adopted him it was very clear he was more of a live in friend because Tsavorite wanted him around. Playing a lot of dress up, playing fun games, telling Viridian to break some rules that were in place that usually would get Viridian so worried and wound up but bending to Tsavorites will to do as she asked and if he got caught Tsavorite would just coolly say “ I told him to.” and that was the end of the conversation. She has surprised him by saying this when he was caught once actually trying to sneak seconds in the middle of the night because he didn’t eat much that day from playing all day with Tsavorite. They sat there in the kitchen with Tsavorite eating with him after the staff made something fresh. It’s one of his most appreciated memories. 

He admires Tsavorite greatly and does anything she asks of him. To him Tsavorite can’t do wrong, he knows rules, he knows morallly that some of the things she does do....isn’t the best. But rules don’t apply to Tsavorite. He learned that one early on. 

He is more akin to a butler and handmaiden for Tsavorite, picking out outfits, getting them clean, making appointments, doing Tsavorites hair, he even bathes her as if she was a genuine princess that gets pampered. Though Berenice was the one to point out that was a bit ‘odd’ before Tsavorite hushed her and told her she could do it if she found it so ‘odd’ which had Berenice not saying another word on the matter. 

Viridian is slightly jealous of the fact Berenice seems to be the favorite, though he does sometimes wonder if it’s actual favoritism considering Berenice does get called ‘Little Kitten’ and petted often as if she was an actual pet and more closely scrutinized by Tsavorite if shes not groomed to the usual expectation and wearing what she told her to. Though he often shrugs this thought off to the back of his mind. After all he was Tsavorites doll first before Berenice came into the picture. Tsavorite cares about those close to her, even if she shows it in...odd ways. He’s sure of it. 

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Tsavorite Diona Proserpine Species: Human ( ? ) has some fae blood in her Inspired by: The Emerald City Height: 6′ 6″ Favorite Food: Green Apple slices with Caramel  Hated Food: Tapioca Pudding Year: 2nd Age: 19 Class: 2-E Best Subject: Magic Practice Club: Gargoyle research facility  Fun Fact: Doesn’t yet know how to genuinely interact with people on a personable level, even those closest to her don’t get the full her and her emotions she keeps locked tight. Kind of considers those closest to her more like pets or toys with appreciation but it feels there’s not actual thought of them as their own free willed people. She needs to work on this.  Unique Magic: Emerald Spires Creating dazzling green stone columns and working more and more each day to forming them into other shapes and see how far she can stretch them. She has successfully been able to make walls which, if you think about it, is just a horizontal column...kind of. 

Tsavorite Proserpine. A name that strikes fear into those of the Emerald Plains. Those who are smart enough to know who really runs the capital. Coming from a long family who’s said to even started the capital base of the Emerald Plains. Born with a Silver spoon in her mouth and treated more like royalty than just simply someone rich due to the power of both financials and magic prowess her and her family possesses. What Tsavorite wants, Tsavorite gets. 

She knows money and power get you everything and connections are how you strengthen keeping your station. She very much lives by the ‘Keep your enemies close’ rule but it should be no shock that Berenice and Viridian are the closest to her. While it may seem that she treats them as lackeys, those who actually have seen Tsavorite interacting with general working class staff and those who she’s not close to that Viridian and Berenice are obviously more favored by her with more ‘niceties’ given to them. 

Viridian is the one trusted fully to handle her appointments, her outfits, keeping everything organized and in place. He’s trusted enough that she knows he could never do anything of his free volition that would come at her. If something caused him to turn on her, she would no doubt know it was a fake or a spell that caused something like that to change 

Berenice she finds simply adorable, such a predator, such a beauty, Berenice has a lot of physical power but she’s just such a lap cat, its where she should be is what Tsavorite thinks of her. A powerful girl by her side, dressed looking cute how she likes. She thinks the meekness she can have is cute but finds her unique magic the most interesting aspect of her. Such contradictions in Berenice. It’s fun. She doesn’t fully trust Berenice though. Not yet. Not on Viridians level.

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Berenice Kelly Lemongrass Species: Lion beast folk Inspired by: The cowardly lion Height: 5′10″ Favorite Food: Seared Ahi Tuna Hated Food: granola bars Year: 2nd Age: 19 Class: 2-B  Best Subject: Flying skills Club: Basketball Fun Fact: doesn’t originally hail from The Emerald Plains, her family moved there when she was 12  Unique Magic: Trapped Her magic inflicts psychological damage trapping people in their minds for a short period of time with fears and horrible memories coming back to eat at them. Rarely used longer than a few minutes, if used longer the victim will pass out, if used too long...they might not be the same person they were at the start. But she hasn’t used it that long and doesn’t know what might happen. 

The supposed Bodyguard of Lady Tsavorite and while she is strong she’s just...not cut out for being that intimidating or strong willed. Often more easily curling in on herself and doing whats told of her. Lady Tsavorite personally decided she’d be her ‘bodyguard’ even if her magic is more impressive than Berenice’s and can go on much longer using it than Berenice as well. Berenice does have genuine power and strength and does her best to keep it up. 

Lady Tsavorite typically calls Berenice pet names, but immediately shuts down others who try saying any pet name to Berenice. Her favorite to use is usually “Little Kitten”. It was Lady Tsavorite who chose how she gets her hair down and expressed to her to wear those cute bows and make up as well and what Lady Tsavorite says, goes. 

Berenice thinks Viridian is the favorite, Lady Tsavorite doesn’t snap at him for his outfits or make up but then again...he’s never out of proper attire or looking ‘sloppy’ or ‘messy’ but also she wonders just how close two people can be. She’d consider them the closest people two can be platonically really that it’s almost admirable but she can’t feel at ease with Lady Tsavorites behaviors sometimes. While its nice having her head pat and ears scratched always needing to be dressed to her standards is kind of tiresome and does get her worried to being a rough around the edges as she can be sometimes as she likes to run and honestly she has a little bit of dramatic flair and has tried out for theatre. She’s quite good at getting into dramatic proses. 

#oznitus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #my art #twisted oc #twst oc #twisted wonderland oznitus #mara malice #Viridian Hunter #berenice lemongrass #tsavorite proserpine #tsavorite needs to be a better person #viridian needs to stop being a tool for tsavorite #berenice well she can do better

[dumbfuck-mojave]

Lily Chen SFW Relationship Headcanons

Character: Lily Chen from The Shadowhunters Chronicles written by @cassandraclare

Author’s Notes: This is the first thing I’ve written in a while and it feels good to be back! I’m experimenting with post formatting as well, and I like the little squares (Tumblr won’t let me have my square bullet points :( ). I haven’t fully read all of Lily’s scenes but I have skimmed and done enough research that I think this is in-character enough. If it isn’t, who cares? She needs more content, please and thank you. I will make that content. I have something else with her in it coming soon. 

Warnings: I don’t know, nothing too in-depth/graphic. Vague mentions of trauma and talking it out because you should support your partner in a relationship. Since she's a flirtatious character, there’s some of that, but this is still SFW. Also, she’s a vampire, so general vampire stuff. It’s fine, this probably wasn’t even needed. Also just way too many emojis, I need to calm down-

Being in a relationship with Lily Chen:

(This was supposed to be written as a neutral thing as to whether the reader was a member of the shadow world or a mundane, but it turned into strictly mundane. Sorry about that).

You probably met at an establishment that caters to mundanes and the shadow world.

Has a preference for women but is into dating anyone, so get ready.

She’s with some of the other clan members and locks onto you and the others are like “She’s at it again.”

Lays the charm on HEAVY. Slides up to you and is like “👀👀”.

Whether you’re super flustered or not, she’ll keep doing it. 

She never comes off as creepy though, a real casanova in the ways of romance~

She’s on official business for the Alliance, picking something up from the little shop you’re both at (a drag because she can’t go out with you right now 🙄) but she hands you her phone with a smirk so you can put your number in. 

You might think she would’ve taken yours to do some flirty nonsense like putting her name in as something… flirty, but she wanted to see what you would put your name in as (Uno Reverse).

Made dead sure there was nothing you could see beside the number input screen though, not even notifications. She doesn’t trust like that. 

You put a little heart after your name and smile at her and she lowkey freaks out. This feels different what’s going on, oh no-

Her phone case is a blinged out vampire smile Clary gave her as a gag gift. She isn’t being subtle (this should’ve been your first clue, but nah). 

So she and the others show up at the Alliance meeting (It’s at Magnus and Alec’s today because they’re dealing with warlock business) and she looks kind of uncomfortable? Not uncomfortable in the usual way, just a little blushy and nervous.

Alec is like “You good?” and she’s like “MMMM YEAH?? I THINK??”

She isn’t IN LOVE right away but it does feel different from when she usually picks up hotties 😉.

The only thing she mentions about it during the meeting is a quick “Yeah I saw some cutie before we got here 😎” because if we only do surface level emotions we don’t have to discuss our actual feelings nice one Chen-

It doesn’t work that well. Sometimes she can pull the hiding stuff off but today is not her day.

Elliott and Jacob are looking at each other like “??” because Lily’s usually joking around and not taking anything seriously during smaller meetings like this. Alec is staring at her trying to figure out what’s wrong because he’s way too oblivious for this, help him.

Magnus KNOWS. He’s sipping on tea and raising an eyebrow at her and Lily notices and glares at him because he always gives her THAT LOOK like he knows her and Lily doesn’t vibe with it-

(Magnus wants to be a better support system for her, but he isn’t going to poke that bear. She’ll come to him when she wants, if ever. He’s everyone’s dad.)

She gets back in her groove by the end of the meeting, it’s like 2 in the morning now and she pulls out her phone and texts you.

“Hey, u up?”

She’s good at flirting but also sucks at it at the same time.

You text back immediately. Don’t ask me what you were doing the pretty girl with the cool hair just texted you it’s GO TIME.

 While ignoring the implications of that type of message, you text back “Yeah what’s up.” 

So this breaks her. She honestly wasn’t expecting a text back right away and we’re back to square one. Stay cool Lily, stay cool. 

After 5 minutes of staring at the phone on her end and you waiting for a response (a bit impatiently because it’s 2 AM) she responds “When are you free? I wanna get to know you as soon as possible 😘”

“Is that so? Well tomorrow night should work, pick me up at 9?”

Congrats, you unknowingly played her again. She’s off her mojo today.

“Of course 😉. I’m looking forward to it~” Not off her mojo enough to not be cheeky though.

You just barely smile and give the nerd your address. She better tell you what you’re doing before then though (You want to dress smart and also aren’t trying to get murdered)

You both end up talking throughout the day (Well, your day. She’s supposed to be sleeping) and you figure out where you’re going. 

Earlier, she was literally breaking down over where to take you.

“Is going to a club to cliche? What counts as trashy? Will they want something more intimate or casual? Taki’s? Is Taki’s good?”

Elliott’s just standing there, watching her and waiting for his booty call to show up.

She may be good with flirting and casual hook-ups but relationships? Genuine, honest relationships? That about scares her right back into living.

She wants this to go well, to maybe lead to something more, and that makes her nervous.

Anyway she ends up taking you to a really casual but classy run by a nice couple (of Downworlders).

It’s really nice and fun, typical first date “get-to-know-you” type questions. Stuff she can come up with while still being guarded.

You can already tell by the way she treats the staff and owners that she’s a good girl.

(She was a waitress, she knows the pain.)

She walks you up to your door at the end of the date and you turn to her and tell her you had a good time and maybe… maybe if she did too, you could do this again. 

Then you go inside. 

She stands there in silence for a few minutes then skips back to the car she “borrowed” and speeds off to go brag about how well it went to Jacob because his last date ended up with the girl crying.

Magnus has many cars. Magnus knows Lily took one of his cars.

Ok just imagine getting more steady with her because I need to stop the set up and actually do what the title says:

She’s literally an amazing girlfriend. 

Jokes around a lot but does a pretty good job at seeing when things need to be serious or if you’re uncomfortable with anything. 

RESPECTFUL. SHE KNOWS WHAT IT’S LIKE TO DISRESPECT AND BE DISRESPECTED BUT NOT WITH YOU!!  NEVER!!

One night, she asked to come into your house. Which, mind you, she’s done before, but she had this look in her eyes like she needed to tell you something important.

That was the night she told you everything about the shadow world.

“You aren’t supposed to do that!” She does NOT care.

Because she genuinely feels bad hiding it from you if you’re going to go steady + the unknowing danger you can be put in if you’re with her. 

She talked about it with Alec, he says he’ll handle it if anyone gives you trouble. 

They already went through it with Simon, they got this.

She talks a lot about you to Alec and that’s how he knew you were important.

No matter how you react, she knows what to say to make everything fine. 

The first time she took you to the Dumort you were pretty amazed. Like, c’mon. Your girlfriend did all of this. She shows you around and while you’re busy being amazed by the decor she’s side-eyeing anyone who tries to get out of place.

The other vampires show you a good time though, it’s great. 

Now to explore my favorite headcanon: Lily’s a secret nerd.

She’s not as much of a nerd as Simon or Clary but she’s still with it. 

Granny is hip with the kids you know. 

Another thing I know is- she absolutely kills at Dead by Daylight.

If you don’t know what that is; PVP survival game.

She’s a fair but absolutely ruthless killer. 

Tries to get you to play, if you don’t want to try, at least watch it makes her happy. 

Has max leveled all the killers, doesn’t play survivor, if she ever let’s Simon know she plays she makes him cry. 

Also, plays a lot of Nintendo games. 

Got Animal Crossing: New Horizons the second it came out and that and DBD are like all she does when she’s free.

Absolutely the person to do the arm yawn thing during movies and laugh at horror movies. 

Into pop culture, but doesn’t know ALL pop culture, so introduce her to stuff, she has an eternity to enjoy it. 

This is getting kind of disjointed so end of Nerd!Lily for now.

Like I said, she’s a charmer- So if you’re in good standing with your parents and introduce them to her, she’ll make a stunning first impression. 

It’s important to her so no funny business.

Some funny business she’s a little comedian.

Speaking of little, there’s a good chance you’ll be the taller one in the relationship.

She’s only 5 foot but don’t try to do the armrest thing she bites, literally. 

It’s canon she’s polyamorous so if you’re down for it, she is too. If not, that’s also fine. 

Just in all aspects, she’s down and flexible for most things if you’re comfortable.

Is really smart and knowledgeable, but no one can know everything so if there’s an aspect of you she doesn’t know a lot about, she’ll research it and let you explain it yourself if you choose.

Never change yourself. She loves and respects you as you are. 

You’ve been on every date imaginable at this point.

Aquarium where she bought a huge shark (she bought you something too but she wanted that shark with all the passion in her tiny body).

She has an old projector so you can have private movie dates.

Elliott tries to sneak in. Lily yells at him to get out. Elliott gets out.

She likes planning them but you take her out sometimes too. 

You both even went to Build-A-Bear one time and she did the whole bear ritual thing. Vibes with kids, so she wasn’t embarrassed or anything. 

Kisses the plush heart you put in your bear aw. 

Ok now to get into some more serious/angsty ones.

Has very vivid dreams. Not good when your dreams are usually nightmares. 

She appreciates it if you wake her up and hold her (she likes being held regardless but it’s especially true in this situation).

Doesn’t usually like to talk about it.

You need to work with her to open up about things. Like REALLY work.

Feels bad if she ever gets snippy but she doesn’t like feeling cornered or pushed.

But she has A LOT of trauma and baggage that she deals with in unhealthy ways.

It happens eventually though, and it’s a really important moment in your relationship. 

Obviously, will do the same for you. She’s good at giving advice. 

Sometimes she’s really sad about never being able to have kids herself and sometimes is so thankful she can’t, because while she loves kids and is good with them, she’s scared she’ll mess up her own somehow. 

Doesn't even know if she'd adopt because then she knows she took this kid away from having a better home than with her (even if it's all false and she would be an amazing parent). 

Same with being a vampire. She flip-flops on how she feels about it. 

Struggles with depression and it got even worse after Raphael died, so just support her with it. 

I know she smokes, but she drinks a ton as well. Not even spiked blood, just normal alcohol because she feels a thrill in testing how much it takes to have some effect. It's frightening.

Misses her mom, like a lot. Many of her crying fits are over it.

It’s why she’s more susceptible to woman authority/mentor figures than men.

Hates her dad. She wishes she was the one to kill him after she got out of the brothel, but she couldn’t track him down in the few months she stayed in Hong Kong. 

Really insecure and hates showing it. Always afraid you’ll leave her alone and she despises she thinks that way.

I’m getting too sad. Roll out the last ones.

She may have a lot of sad memories, but she has a lot of happy ones too.

In all fairness, she doesn’t have the best memory, and although she really tries not to, she forgets a lot of stuff. Don't get too mad.

A really good driver. A fast driver, but a good one.

Takes you on motorcycle rides and one time she drove up the side of a bridge and almost gave you a heart attack. 

Talks to her bike like it’s a horse. It’s semi-alive in a way, which both freaks you out and fascinates you.

Also good at roller skating/rollerblading and skateboarding.

Um,,, going back to biting; if you’re down with it she’ll take blood from you. In… many scenarios (you probably get what I’m talking about huehue). 

Made you sign one of the consent forms as a joke but not really- 

Smokes a lot but is respectful enough to control it around you. You have human lungs, regardless of if you smoke or not. Can't be damaging those.

Help her dye her hair and do her makeup! It’s bonding! She can’t see herself in a mirror! 

Exquisite music taste like ugh 👌👌👌 

Pretty good dancer too. 

The girlfriend who hypes you UP. Wolf whistles included. You’re perfect to her and anyone who disagrees with that gets the knife🔪.

Seriously, she'll fight and probably kill for you (something to probably discuss. Like more in-depth than that specific scenario.)

She likes to style things. Your room/house, you, your car. Get decorated.

She’s into nicknames and prefers “babe” and “baby” in a relationship.

Brings you trinkets constantly she’s like a bird. 

“Babe look at this cool rock I found.”

Surprisingly, doesn't have tattoos. YET. 

Matching tattoos?? Maybe.

She has piercings, though, and will get more. Come with her and she'll let you pick out a charm.

Does that stupid "ahaha" f-boy meme thing constantly. If you don't know what I'm talking about you're lucky.

Is eternally 19, acts like it. 

Party hard baby.

Gets you involved in her political life and responsibilities; she is an important figure after all.

Was kind of nervous her loved ones wouldn’t like you. Irrational; of course they love you.

A pretty decent artist. She likes drawing you :).

Nude modeling 👀. JK JK, unless-

Likes to take pictures and likes to send pictures so just be ready.

She's a big fan of karaoke and I'm sorry but you'll absolutely, 100% get dominated. She didn't come here to mess around, she has 80's songs on standby.

She's like a cat- fast and flexible. It's fun until it looks like she's broken herself.

She really likes your voice and talking to you.. which means you'll get hit up at midnight if you aren't with her. She just really, really loves you but please figure out a sleep schedule.

Has a lot of money. You're kind of concerned where she gets it from. 

But that just means she can treat you 👏. Vacations to wherever you want baby.

Overall, it’s a very good, fun and healthy relationship. You teach each other things and make a ton of memories together. 

Isn’t really looking forward to having to face your death if you don’t become immortal but hahaha we’re done with angst headcanons for now-

I’m done for now I could go on all day in more detail but I’m sick so thank you for reading and leave a comment, like, share, reblog, whatever ;)

#My writing #original writing #lily chen #lily chen shadowhunters #the shadowhunter chronicles #shadowhunters #shadowhunters x reader #tsc #tmi #the mortal instruments #vampire #vampire x reader #monster x reader #gender neutral insert #gender neutral #gender neutral reader #lily chen x reader #shadowhunters writing #shadowhunters fanfic #shadowhunters fanfiction

[writer-k-pop]

The Athlete (m.j.h) - Waning Crescent Hotel

Please read this (W.C.Hotel) if this is the first post of this series that you see. Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of death Genre: Angst, Hotel Del Luna AU, Choose your own adventure, SVT x Fem! Reader Staff: Yong (Spirit General Manager) / Jiwoo (Human General Manager) / Soon Bok (Room Manager) / Mun Hee (Front Desk Receptionist) / Shin (Grim Reaper assigned to Waning Crescent) Word Count: Ending A - 5.1k / Ending B - 5k

W.C.Hotel | Seventeen Masterlist | Masterlists

"Hey Soon Bok." I call out to her after spotting her walking the hallways.

She doesn't respond but her groaning and mumbling echo off the walls.

I quickly catch up to her and get her attention. "Hey, what's got you groaning?" I ask and she finally notices my presence.

"Oh, hey, (y/n). Uhm, the guest in room 385 left the room in a complete disarray so it'll take a few days to get it back in shape." Soon Bok says as we walk through the hall together.

"How badly did they screw it up?" I ask, trying to imagine what kind of damage would take a few days to fix, especially in this hotel.

"Well..." Soon Bok sighs, "Apparently their two of their past lives were complete opposites on the political spectrum and it got out of hand." She waves her hands for emphasis, "I think they broke every single piece of furniture we had in that room."

I run my hands through my hair in absolute annoyance, "How many days do you think it'll take?" I ask.

Soon Bok tilts her head to the side in thought, "I really don't know. 6, maybe 7 days."

"Damn, and the Gods can't do anything to help?" I probe, wondering if I'm going to have to send a message up myself.

Soon Bok shakes her head with disappointment. "No, I already asked."

"Damn." I exhale, "Did the guest leave?"

"I put them on the first departure out of here." Soon Bok says smugly, "Deserved it when I saw their room yesterday."

I nudge her shoulder with my own and smile satisfied, "Perfectly deserved."

"And not to mention that they were so loud!" Soon Bok continues to vent, "So loud. I had guests complaining about them for days."

I put a sort of comforting hand on her shoulder, "You handled them well." I tell her.

"The Gods don't pay me enough for this shit." Soon Bok says with sarcasm as we walk out onto the second floor balcony.

"They don't pay any of you enough." I reassure her with a tiny smile as guests mill around us.

Soon Bok lets out a short laugh before going back into manager mode.

"(y/n)!" Jiwoo comes running into the lobby from the pool in a panic. "(y/n)!"

I share a look with Soon Bok for a split second before we start down the stairs.

"I'm right here." I call out to Jiwoo who jogs up the stairs to meet me.

"There's sort of an issue." Jiwoo mutters lowly.

"What kind of issue?" I press further without lowering my voice.

He motions towards the indoor pool, "A couple guests are fighting at the pool. It's getting out of hand."

Soon Bok nervously chuckles, "How bad could it ge-"

A faint splash and a few screams interrupt Soon Book mid sentence. The sound freezes me in my tracks for a split second before I walk towards the indoor pool as annoyed anger grows with every step I take. Soon Bok and Jiwoo are right on my heels.

When we bust through the pool doors, a few guests are standing around the edges of the pool looking mortified at the two guests brawling in the water.

I stop a few feet into the room and cross my arms over my chest while staring at the two females fighting and splashing water everywhere.

"How did it start?" I ask, leaning towards Jiwoo so he can hear me.

Jiwoo shrugs, "I honestly don't know how it started. All I know is that they were arguing over something and then they started shoving and pushing each other. And that's when I came to get you." Jiwoo explains, "I didn't want to experience another incident." He continues and I nod, remembering a few years ago when Jiwoo tried to get between two quarreling guests and took a substantial blow to the chest. From which he could've died had I not been ten steps away.

"Good idea." Soon Bok comments her approval and I'm surprised that she could hear him through all the noise and the echoes.

I take a breath and send a loud whistle to cut through the noise. The noises settle down and all the attention turns to me.

"Why are you creating a racket in my hotel?" I direct the question at the two soaking wet women in the pool.

The two women stare blankly at me but neither says a word or moves a muscle.

I roll my eyes at the lack of response and heavily sigh. "Fine, if you don't want to answer me, then I'll give you a choice, either get out of the pool and forget whatever you were fighting about or stay in the pool and be on the very next departure out." I give each of the women one last look before turning and walking out of the pool.

"Keep an eye on them," I instruct Jiwoo, "If they don't leave the pool in 15 minutes, call Shin and tell him to get them out of here."

Jiwoo nods obediently and stays in the pool while Soon Bok continues to follow me.

With the situation resolved, I can finally return to the subject that I wanted to talk about.

"Did you get Jun situated in his room?" I ask her as we walk.

Soon Bok nods, "He's in room 106 for 15 days." She informs me.

I nod and change direction towards the elevators. The elevator doors open and we step inside. Just as the doors begin to close, Jiwoo comes running and Soon Bok, with her fast reflexes, holds open the elevator doors.

"They left." He skids to a halt before the elevator.

"Good. Good." I nod in approval.

"I will make sure they don't do anything else during their stay." Jiwoo informs me and Soon Bok steps back to let the elevator door shut.

"And if they do, call Shin." I tell him.

Just as the elevator doors completely shut closed, a man walks behind Jiwoo and glances my way. For a split second our eyes meet and I see a smile grow on his face.

Jun's face.

~The Fifteenth Day~

"You've gotten sloppy, Jun!" Michelle, Jun's sparring partner, laughs and it pulls a laugh from Jun.

"Maybe you're the one who's gotten sloppy." He counters with a smile.

I shift on the bleachers to try and find a more comfortable way to sit but the benches are unyielding. The training center for national athletes is pumping the A.C. and I wrap my sweater closer around my shoulders, eyes still trained on Jun and Michelle.

The clock on the wall displays the time and I only have a few more minutes until Jun is released from training and mine for the rest of the night.

Jun defeats Michelle with ease and pulls away happily cheering.

I smile at his energy and he spins around in victory. When he stops, he spots me in the stands and waves extremely wildly.

Waving back, a giggle erupts in my throat. Jun jumps a couple more times before saying bye to Michelle and jogging into the locker room.

Not five minutes later, a sweaty Jun jogs over to me after changing out of his training clothes.

"Hiya." He smiles happily, readjusting his bag on his shoulder.

"Heya." I reply, mirroring the smile.

"What did you think of my training?" Jun asks, offering a hand to help me up.

I take his hand. "You were getting a little sloppy towards the end." I smirk and we start toward the exit.

"So you're siding with Michelle now?" Jun questions, playing the offended card.

"Us girls can see things." I wiggle my fingers at him just as Michelle passes us.

"Like you slacking." She comments to Jun and gives me a high five.

Jun's shoulders sag in defeat, "I go through hours of training only to be judged by my girl and my training buddy."

"Enjoy your night!" Michelle calls out to us and jogs to the person waiting at the curb for her. Presumably the fling she's currently into.

"You too, Michelle!" Jun waves her away, almost relieved that we're finally alone together.

Jun grabs my hand as we walk away from the center and towards the town where Jun's apartment is.

The scene meshes into another. This time we're sitting in his apartment, on his couch, with dinner plates sitting empty in front of us on the coffee table. The TV plays some random show we're binging and Jun's arm is wrapped securely around my shoulder.

I start to feel his warmth around me and he starts humming along to the theme song when a sinking feeling suddenly sets in my chest. I know what I'm going to find on my desk when I return to the hotel tonight, but my heart is determined to hold off as long as I can.

Snuggling in closer to Jun, I feel him chuckle.

"Cuddly much?" He asks.

I slowly nod, "Just don't want this night to end just yet." I mumble, breathing in his scent.

"You can stay here all night if you want." Jun says into my hair but I sigh.

"I'm needed at home tonight." I tell him with a pout.

"I know, but the offer is still there." Jun says with a soft smile.

"Jun," I get his attention, "Can I ask you a hypothetical?"

"Okay?" Jun agrees only a little confused.

I rest my ear against his chest and listen to his heart beat, "If I died,"

Jun sucks in a breath, stopping me.

"Hypothetical, remember." I remind him and rest a hand on his stomach to stop him, "If I died young, would you find someone else?"

"Do you want me to?" Jun questions.

"I mean, I wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life grieving for me." I explain, "I would want you to move on but still remember me."

"Then I would do just that." Jun affirms with a nod, "I would probably grieve for a while... A long while." He corrects himself, "But I think I would. I would think that you would want me to live my life to the fullest and enjoy every aspect, including love."

I nod, satisfied with his answer, "That's exactly what I would want you to do."

"What would you do?" He asks in return.

"The same." I answer, knowing my answer holds no weight to him, "I would grieve and then slowly start to live life again but I would remember you throughout my life."

Jun smiles, satisfied and kind of smug. "I'll be hard to forget." He squeezes my shoulder, playfully.

I smile and rub my hand in a circle over his stomach.

But the fabric doesn't feel the same. It feels more... soft... more like... bedding.

I blink open my eyes and find my hand resting on the pillow I have held up against my body.

Rolling onto my back, I sigh heavily and close my eyes but the memory of Jun's warmth around me still remains.

"Can't a memory just be a memory?" I ask the air around me, not expecting an answer. "Why do I have to feel every lingering sense?"

I pull up the covers and cocoon under them for comfort. And just as I'm getting comfortable and warm again, I hear the faint opening and closing of my office doors. I run my hands over my face before turning my head to read the time.

8:33 pm.

I shoot up in bed as Mun Hee calls out for me. My pajama shirt falling down my shoulder.

"(y/n)?" He calls out and I rub my eyes.

"In here!" I yell back, hoping he hears me, and fix my shirt.

I throw the covers off of me and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Then my bedroom door opens and Mun Hee walks in with his eyes squeezed shut,

I take one look at his face before asking, "Why are your eyes closed?"

"I don't want to see anything I'm not supposed to when in your room." Mun Hee states with a hand still on the door.

I chuckle at his consideration, "You're all good. I'm clothed and nothing is laying out in the open."

Mun Hee slowly opens one eye to check the area and when it passes his inspection, he fully opens both eyes.

"Uh, the hotel is in full swing." Mun Hee comments while eyeing me still sitting on my bed.

I nod, "I know. I slept late."

"Are you okay?" He asks with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine." I tell him, "Just been dreaming."

"Dreaming about?" Mun Hee presses and I stand from my bed.

"None of your business, dear." I smirk at him and head for my closet.

Mun Hee shrugs, "Okay well, Yong told me to come up here and wake you up and tell you that she's bringing Jun down in like an hour and a half."

I flip through my hanging clothes and a small bubble of panic bursts in my chest. "Fuck, okay." I quickly pick out navy slacks and a white blouse and hang them on the closet door.

"I'll leave you be then, now that you're awake." Mun Hee says and backs out of my room, closing the door behind him.

With Mun Hee gone, I head to my bathroom to shower for the day.

Once I'm showered, dried, clothed, and put make up on, I stand in front of the mirror for a final outfit check. Smoothing out my pants, I mentally give myself the pass and walk out of my room and down into my office.

"What are you still doing here?" I am shocked to find Mun Hee sitting on the sofa playing on his phone.

Mun Hee shrugs, not looking up from his phone, "Had nothing else to do."

"You're supposed to be at the front desk." I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I was..." Mun Hee trails off and taps his screen quickly, "But then Yong came and told me to come get you cause she was going to bring Jun down. I got here and you were still upstairs so I figured I'd wait for you."

"How long ago was that?" I ask, walking up to him upset that he didn't come get me sooner.

"Uh... 15 minutes ago?" Mun Hee says, looking up at the ceiling, calculating.

"Fif- Mun Hee!" I yell at him and head straight for the doors. I stop with my hands on the handles and turn back towards him. "And you," I point a finger at him and he looks up at me, "Get your butt back down to the front desk before I send you out on the next departure." I threaten before leaving my office and heading straight to my garden.

"So, you bloomed for the others and me?" Jun asks the chrysanthemum(s) as he crouches down.

I stop behind the bench and lean on my hands, just watching him. Jun tenses as he feels my presence in the room.

"You would've made a scary ninja with that silence." Jun chuckles and turns on his heels to face me.

I smirk, "Think I would've looked good in the black clothing?" I ask and Jun tilts his head to the side. His eyes scan my body up and down.

"Maybe." Jun shrugs and stands to his feet, walking towards me.

"Maybe?" I ask, holding my hands over my heart, feigning hurt.

"I'm kidding," Jun giggles and leans in closer, "You would look fantastic in black. I would love to see you in that."

"Keep dreaming." I whisper and move to sit on the bench.

Jun dramatically plops down onto the couch then lays his body down with his head in my lap, looking up at me.

"My biggest dream just came true though." He says with innocence.

"And what is that?" I ask.

Jun smiles, "To see you again."

"Me." I repeat his answer and look sadly at the tree. I feel Jun's eyes study my face but I can't bear to look at him.

"That hypothetical wasn't a hypothetical." Jun says with a sigh.

I open my mouth to explain but nothing comes out so I close it again.

"I mean I know you didn't leave on your own. But did you have to leave right after you asked that?" Jun continues to question, "Did you know you were going to leave?" His stare burns into my face and I'm forced to look down at him. Only I kind of regret it.

The sadness that fills his eyes rips at my heart and the tiny sliver of hope that my answer will be the answer he wants to hear sits right in the middle of the sadness. But I have to be the one to destroy that hope he has.

I set my jaw firm and take a deep breath. "I had a feeling I was going to have to leave soon after that."

"How did you know?" He asks. I can see he's trying not to let his sadness take over.

"Something in my gut told me that the Gods were going to make me leave soon after that night." I explain, "I just didn't know I was going to receive that note that night."

Jun sits up properly and puckers his lips, "Oh." He says, "You could feel stuff like that?"

I shrug, "Sometimes. But that night I definitely felt something. And when I got back here, there was a note on my desk and I wished I could've spent more time with you."

"Me too." Jun agrees and wraps his arms around me, hugging me close. "Though, I can't believe you kept this amazing place a secret."

"I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell anyone." I tell him, leaning in closer. Just like the night before I left.

"You can't tell anyone?" Jun asks, emphasizing 'any.'

I nod, "Absolutely no one." I confirm, "The human world just isn't ready to know of this world yet."

"Hmm. That's probably for the better." Jun agrees. "I kept my promise, by the way."

"Which one?" I tilt my head in confusion.

"How I would try to live my life after you 'died.'" He uses his fingers as air quotes when he says 'died.'

I smile with happiness, "What did you do then?" I wonder.

Jun inhales proudly, "I went on to win three national titles and then retired."

"You," I ask shocked, "You retired?"

"Hey, it took me 8 years to win those three titles." Jun defends himself, "But yeah, I retired. Well, sort of retired. I started coaching with the team and that lasted a solid 30 years or so and then I went into real retirement."

"I'm sure you were a big hit with the athletes." I think about Jun coaching younger athletes and encouraging them to do their best.

He catches the faint smile on my face and chuckles. "I don't know about that." He reminisces, "I was pretty hard on them."

I look at him with wonder, "I doubt you were that bad. You're Jun. You did what you did so they could grow and be amazing athletes."

"You think?" Jun asks.

"I know." I smirk, "They appreciated every single thing you did for them."

"How do you know what I did?" Jun giggles and I widen my eyes in innocence.

"I just do." I stick my tongue out at him but he's quick to wipe it away with a kiss. I hum happily, "So, did you ever have kids? A family?"

"A family?" Jun repeats my question, "Well, uh, yeah. I did have a family."

My eyes light up but a dull pain throbs in my chest. "Tell me about them." I smile in hopes the job in covering up the pain in my chest.

Jun exhales, "What do you want to know?" He asks.

I shrug, not really sure what exactly I want to know. "Anything. Everything... Well, maybe not everything." I correct myself with a small cringe.

"Alright," Jun tilts his head in thought, "For starters, I had a girl and boy. Jihyo and Scott. Jihyo was older than Scott by a few years. But damn, he protected her like he was older." Jun chuckles and I echo it, "You know, there was this once - was? Is? Happened?" Jun mumbles in confusion at his own story.

"Spit it out." I laugh and playfully hit his chest.

So," Jun says while laughing a bit, "I was well into my coaching career and Jihyo was a solid high schooler and I somehow happened to be the matchmaker for my daughter and my future son-in-law." He runs a hand through his hair, "I had this athlete, bright, great kid, though a little loud at times."

"Like someone I know." I mumble but Jun hears me and smacks my arm.

"Anyway. We had a small end of year party at our house one year - which by the way, was not my idea." Jun raised his eyebrows for emphasis, "And of course, my kids were there, milling around with the team. The usual. Well, the spunky kid runs into Jihyo, and I mean literally runs into her, and before I knew it, they were dating. Boy, did I give him a hard time when I found that out. But then I blinked and they were engaged! And then I literally breathed, and they were married with a kid." He shakes his head in disbelief.

"So she grew up good?" I reiterate.

Jun nods, "Grew into such a beautiful woman. Reminded me a lot of you."

"How so?" I wonder and look over to find his eyes soft like a plush pillow.

"She held her head up high, even if the world was pushing against her. Like you did." Jun explains, "Jihyo was always very cool, calm, and collected with the outside world but whenever she was around the family or her husband, she melted like snow in the desert."

"I did not melt like snow." I defend myself.

"Oh, yes you did." Jun squeezes me closer. "Like the first time you came to see me at the training center. You were so cold and shut out to literally all of my teammates." Jun laughs, "And then as soon," He drags out the word, "As I walked up, you smiled and literally gave my teammates whiplash."

I laugh at his recount of the day.

"I swear the guys wouldn't shut up about it for a whole week." Jun says, then continues on, "And Jihyo, Jihyo came to really enjoy champagne."

My mouth drops open in happiness though I'm not 100% sure as to why I'm so happy to hear that.

"Yeah, she came to visit one day and we had some wine with dinner. Which got us on the topic of alcohol and then poof! Out of nowhere, she says she really enjoys champagne." He smiles wildly, "I nearly dropped my wine glass when she said that."

"Did she end up loving it as much as I do?" I ask with high hopes.

Jun snorts loudly, "HA! I don't think anyone loved or loves champagne as much as you do, my dear."

I hum in satisfaction, "What about your son, Scott?" I ask, wanting to know more. "Was he an athlete like you?"

"Scott," Jun whispers his name, "In high school, Scott swam and was pretty good. He was on varsity and went to university on a sports scholarship. Super smart kid too. He definitely didn't need the scholarship to get into school but it did help with our finances."

"I'm sure it did." I comment. "What did he go to school for?"

"He got a degree in teaching." Jun informs me, "He tried the high school age, ended up hating it then moved up to the college level. And that, that stuck."

"Oh, what about Jihyo?" I wonder, remember I never asked, "What did she major in?"

"She went to medical school and became a nurse." He says, "Made one hell of a nurse too. God, I'm proud of my kids."

"You should be." I encourage him, "It sounds like you raised them well."

"Well, I sure hope I did!" Jun laughs, "They took all my hard earned money. And then when mine ran out, they took my wife's."

I giggle and bury my head in his chest. His laugh vibrates through against my skin and his heartbeat echos through my ears.

"I'm gonna rewind a tiny bit." I tell him, "I wanna know more about you athlete days. What you did, where you went. All of it."

Jun smiles while exhaling, "Alright, so we're going back to my amazing bachelor days." He dramatically states and I roll my eyes. Cause he definitely has a big head about his days as a national athlete.

As the sun rises, introducing a new day for the human world, Jun and I are deep in the world of his life and the adventures he took. The different places he traveled with the team. The things he learned while training and competing. The trouble he and some of his teammates caused during the competitions. Oh and all the girls that, supposedly, were all over him whenever he was in public.

Like always, Jun keeps the mood light and fun. Even through the sadder stories, he still manages to keep me out of the deepest parts. Always protecting me. Always keeping me afloat.

By the time the sun is setting, we've started talking about my life and my time at the hotel. A lot of the stories, I am telling for the first time. Mainly because I've never had someone to tell them too. Everyone I would tell the stories to had already experienced them first hand. And with each stories, I manage to make Jun bark out laughing a few times.

When our laughter has died down, the sun lays dangerously low in the sky. Barely a sliver still visible above the horizon. And it's the signal that our time together is ending.

"Hey," Jun says, noticing the disappearing sun, "Do you have one of those time machine thing? Something that can turn back time?" He asks with full curiosity.

"You know something like that doesn't exist." I tell him with sass.

Jun shrugs, "Just wishing." Then he rises to his feet, his shoulders set in resolve. "Let's do this."

"You know I'm not coming with you, right?" I ask cautiously, standing up in front of him.

"I know." Jun sighs, "But you still can walk me to where I need to be, right?"

"Of course I can do that." I smile.

He holds out a hand for me to take, "Then let's go."

I chuckle and grab his hand. He happily grips my hand tightly and swing it between us as we walk out of the garden.

"Why don't you decorate the place more?" Jun asks, looking around the lobby as we enter.

"Is it not decorated enough?" I question, taking in the elaborate designs that adorn the walls and the floors.

"It could use a few posters of me." He says smugly and points to the elevators, "When I was still an athlete, I had posters of me plastered everywhere, including on elevator doors."

"When you accomplish something incredible in this world, I will do that." I say with a raised eyebrow as we pass the elevators, on our way to the departure door.

"I did accomplish something." Jun banters back.

"And what was that?" I ask when we reach the door.

He leans in close and whispers, "I loved you." Before opening the door and walking ahead.

His words stun me but only for a second. Once the second and the shock have passed, I quickly make my way after Jun and catch up with him after some strides.

"That was a feat 12 other men accomplished as well." I remind him and loop my arm around his.

Jun chortles, "But I know that I was a special one."

"You were indeed special, Jun." I reassure him.

As we approach Shin and the car, Jun giggles and Shin has to fight back a smile. We stop a few feet away and Jun turns to face me.

He releases a large breath and holds my gaze. "Why am I more anxious about this moment than any other competition I've ever been in?" He asks quietly so only I can hear.

I wrap my arms tightly around him and stay silent.

"What?" Jun looks down at me, "No smart ass answer? No silly comeback?"

I sigh, "No because I don't have an answer." I tell him honestly.

"You don't have to have the answer but an answer would be nice." Jun says softly.

Pulling away, I force a smile as tears line my eyes, "You don't have to be anxious." I tell him in a weaker voice than I would've liked. "You'll be at peace."

"But you won't be there." Jun pouts.

"Someday soon I will be." I say and a tear slips out. Jun is quick to catch it and wipe it away.

"Then I'll wait. I'll sit and wait until you do." Jun says determined. "I will climb a tree and be on the look out for you every single day."

I choke out a laugh and it brings a smile to his face. He leans down and presses a light kiss to my lips.

"I'll see you over there." Jun whispers before letting me go and walking to the awaiting car.

When he reaches the car, he turns around and dramatically waves his arms while saying, "I love you, (y/n)!" In the loudest voice ever. I'm pretty sure everyone in the hotel can hear him.

"I love you, Jun." I call back through the tears slipping down my cheeks.

With one last triumphant smile, he ducks into the car. Shin closes the door behind him and the car rolls forward, taking Jun to peace. The car disappears into the fog and when the last glow of the taillights disappears, a white chrysanthemum at the base of the tree in the garden withers away.

I rest a hand over my heart and remember the echos of our laughter. I hold onto that laughter as I make my way back into the hotel. I hold onto it and wait for next love to arrive.

Return to the Navigation Page (Waning Crescent Hotel) to choose the next guest.

"I can't wait to keep you laughing for all of eternity." Jun says with a mischievous smile. He stands up and drags me up with him.

"Who says I'll be laughing?" I quip.

"Me." Jun says knowingly, "Cause I can always make you laugh." His hands tickle my sides and I runaway, laughing.

Halfway out of the hallway, I stop.

"Hey, hey." I get his attention and he stops, standing to full height so I'm slightly craning my neck, "I have to say good bye to my employees."

"They still have to stay?" Jun wonders.

"Somebody's gotta keep this hotel running." I tell him with a light smile, "And I need to release Jiwoo so he can live his life."

Jun nods and grips my hand firmly before continuing on our way. We walk hand in hand to the lobby where Yong, Mun Hee, Soon Bok, and Jiwoo stand solemnly.

"So this is it?" Mun Hee asks with tears in his eyes. "This is the day you leave us?"

I wrap him up in a hug, only a tiny bit annoyed that he's being so sappy. "Maybe I'll get punished again and be back here by the end of the year." I try to joke but Mun Hee abruptly pushes back from me.

"Don't you dare say that. You better not return here." He says angrily through his tears.

I chuckle, "I won't come back. I promise."

Turning to Soon Bok, I thank her for her service and her amazing work. Something I never did and should've done more.

Next onto Jiwoo. I also thank him for his and his entire family's service then I unclip the bracelet that has held him to this place.

"When you leave today, you won't be able to find this place again." I inform him, "I hope that you'll be able to go and live your life happily."

Jiwoo nods, "Thank you for letting me work with you. I won't ever forget you."

I smile sadly, "You will. But thank you."

Finally I reach Yong who is sniffling and trying so very hard not cry.

"You'd think after all these years of waiting that I'd be prepared for this day." She says through sniffles.

"Thank you, Yong." I rests my hands on her shoulders, "For everything. Thank you."

With lips pursed together, she leans forward and wraps me in an unexpected hug. But I soon wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tightly.

We pull apart after a couple seconds and I wipe the few tears that have escaped from her eyes.

"Keep this hotel running beautifully." I tell her before Jun grabs my hand again.

With final waves of goodbye, Jun and I walk out to the foggy forest that will take us to our resting place.

At the edge of the forest, Shin stands next to an idling car, a somber look on his face.

"(y/n)." He says when we reach him, "It has been an honor working with you. I wish you both a peaceful rest." Shin bows his head and I pat his arm.

"The honor was mine." I tell him with a smile. Now the tears start to line my eyes as the realization fully sets in.

I'm free. I served my years of punishment and now I'm free to let my soul rest.

I turn back towards the hotel and look up to the top where the rooftop patio is outlined with bright string lights. Then to the mid floors where random room lights are turned on, some guests staying in while others opting to experience the hotel's many services. Then to grand base where guests would be milling around, waiting their turns to leave this world.

"(y/n)?" Jun softly asks pulling my attention to where he sits just inside the car, "Are you ready?"

I take one last quick look at the hotel before turning away from it. "Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go."

I lower myself into the car and Shin securely closes the door after I am completely inside. As the car begins to drive forward, Jun securely grabs my hand and I let his warmth guide me towards our final destination.

In the garden, the final chrysanthemum withers and dies so that no more stand at the base of the bare tree.

#kpop #kpop imagine #seventeen imagine #seventeen #seventeen jun #seventeen jun imagine #jun imagine #moon junhui imagine #moon junhui #writer-k-pop #waning crescent hotel

[pynkhues]

I’m sure you’ve already gotten a bunch of asks since Manny’s Crime King interview! I’m just like confused about him saying he’s enamored by her world but honestly like how is his different (besides his obvious commitment to the game) he lives in a nice loft, takes his kid to baseball, drives a fancy car, and plays tennis at the club. It’s not like he’s living the life of a thug. I guess I’m not getting the exact contrast of their worlds.

(Rest of my ask) I’m probably missing some obvious point here which is why I’m asking you lol helllppp

I do think Rio’s enamoured with Beth’s world, yes! I think that really boils down to the fact that while on paper Beth and Rio aren’t living dissimilar lives in terms of their roles as parents, and while they obviously now share parts of the criminal world, I do think the show is actually pretty specific in how it represents those worlds, particularly in terms of the masculine / feminine, and how a part of the curiosity around each other is in viewing one another as a key that both compliments their own world, while also unlocking the other’s one for them.

The gendering of spaces in storytelling – but particularly films and TV is, hilariously, a topic that I’m incredibly passionate about and have both written it a lot in my original work, and written about it a lot for magazines, journals and media sites (I’m actually writing an essay at the moment for a literary journal about LGBTQI cinema and how lesbian romances are highly domesticised [i.e. Portrait of a Lady on Fire, The Handmaiden, The Favourite, The Kids are Alright] while gay romances are usually very pointedly about keeping away from domestic spaces, moving and traveling [i.e. Brokeback Mountain, The Talented Mr Ripley, Moonlight, Midnight Cowboy, even Call Me By Your Name is heavily focused on being Americans abroad aka away from home] but that all feels like a different story, haha).

Luckily for me, Good Girls is actually about as obsessed with the gendering of spaces as I am. It’s a major, major throughline throughout the show for many of the characters, but particularly Beth and Rio, and their intrigue with the other’s spaces – her interest in his powerful, highly masculine one, and his with her deceptively innocent, strongly feminine one – is really central to their intrigue with each other more broadly.

So to talk about this, we probably need a little bit of context.

(Under a cut because this is literally 4,000 words)

Gendering Spaces in Cinema

It’s probably not a surprise to anyone here, but places and spaces in stories are about as gendered – if not more gendered – as they are in daily life. In particular, cinema’s visual and textual language has historically been very clear:

The inside is female. The outside is male.

This concept has really been around since the beginning of cinema but became very popularised through Westerns in the late 1920s onwards, and really underlined by war films particularly during propaganda cinema in WWII. Men are outside, battling the elements and other men, claiming land, building outwards, while women are at home – either literally or figuratively (if they’re actually out at war, like in the utterly fabulous So Proudly We Hail!, they’re at the ‘home base’ as nurses) – building inwards. Men protect the home while women create it.

Westerns feature these images very potently and very literally. Almost every single western dating back to the 1910s will have some combination of these two shots:

a)       Woman at home, looking out into the wild:

b)      Man leaving home, stepping out into the wild:

(These two stills are from John Ford’s The Searchers which is generally regarded as one of the greatest Westerns of all time. It’s………very racist and misogynistic, as many were and still are, but in terms of technicality and visual language, it’s a very well-made film, albeit not one I enjoyed).

The purpose at the time, of course, was steeped in historic sexism and invested in maintaining that culture, particularly westerns and war films which are heavily devoted to ‘macho’ narratives. Women were passive, men were active, but these images really set the stage for how the ideas of ‘space’ continues to exist in cinema. A fact that’s bolstered by broader social discourses that still exist today – schools, grocery stores, laundromats are inherently ‘female’ spaces because they are seen as an extension of the home, while police stations, car dealerships, warehouses, are inherently ‘male’ spaces because they’re about work, protecting and providing for a home, and being pointedly outside of that domestic space aka ‘the wild’. It’s not an accident that the girls are robbing grocery stores and day spas, but I’ll get back to that, haha.

These ideas of gendered spaces underpin everything we watch, no matter the genre.

Sure, these ideas can be subverted to varying degrees of effectiveness (often it’s steeped in my least favourite trope – the ‘not like other girls’ heroine), but you can’t subvert a trope without actually acknowledging it exists. Sometimes these subversions are done brilliantly too – like in Legally Blonde which was not just about Elle existing in a space that was quintessentially coded as male, but embracing her femininity and womanhood within that space; and often brutally too in films like Winter’s Bone, Room and The Nightingale which all brutalise women in ‘male spaces’ while simultaneously weaponizing female spaces against them – usually the home. The lead character of Winter’s Bone is going to lose her house unless her absent father shows up in court, the lead character of Room creates a home that is simultaneously a sanctuary and a mockery of a sanctuary to try and protect her son from reality and survive, the lead character of The Nightingale has her home invaded, her husband and baby murdered, and is horrifically raped within that home.

Hometown Horror: a divergence

This is a slight aside to where I’m going with this overall, but please indulge me, haha. I’m a big fan of horrors and thrillers, which explore this in a really stark way. In that, the invasion of a home or a domestic space – whether by ghost, demon or serial killer, is, generally speaking, synonymous with the invasion of a woman’s body and the violation of her as a person.

Films that focus on a female survivor or a ‘final girl’ are very generally focused on the invasion of her home as much as it’s focused on the invasion of her body. Think The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, Scream, The Babadook, Hereditary, The Conjuring, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Panic Room. The violation of a woman’s home is the invasion of her, because cinema relies on over 100 years of movies telling us that a house and the woman who lives in it are symbolically the same thing.

Horror films that focus on men are very rarely centred in the home. It’s men travelling, or men visiting a woman’s home, or men who’ve been taken. Think of the first Saw movie which takes place in a mysterious basement, Hostel which is at a hostel, Dawn of the Dead at a shopping mall, An American Werewolf in London while two men are on holiday, The Evil Dead is in a cabin, Get Out is at his girlfriend’s family home.

There are exceptions, of course! Family home invasion films like The Purge, Funny Games and The Strangers are rooted in the violation of that home, but still. You’ll generally find that it manifests differently narratively speaking for men and women. Rear Window too takes place entirely in a man’s apartment – but it’s interesting to note that most of the ‘horror’ comes from him spying on somebody else’s home – notably a woman’s, The Descent too is very much about women and is set during cave diving. Still! These are all exceptions, not the rule.

Good Girls and Gendered Spaces

Every single space in Good Girls is gendered. It’s actually one of the things I seriously love about the show because it’s thoughtfully done, and it is deliberate. We know it is, because they tell us explicitly in the writing multiple times. I mean – hell, think of Ruby telling us (well, telling Rio, haha) way back at the end of 1.04 when they’re selling him on the idea of washing cash through Cloud 9 – “Nobody thinks twice about a woman buying her husband a TV or new tires for the minivan.” A store like that is gendered, and Ruby’s reinforcing it by saying it’s a place women go to build a home. It hasn’t been weaponized yet - - but our girls know how to weaponize it. They’re playing on the fact that people think women’s spaces are effectively impotent, and they’re telling Rio – and us as an audience – that they’re going to exploit it.

This is an idea the show revisits frequently. Women’s spaces are – both in life and in storytelling – spaces that are viewed as passive because they are representative of women, and what the show is – I believe – very invested in, is showing how those spaces are fundamentally active. If you want a house to represent a woman – well, okay. Then you get to see what’s under the rug, y’know?

I’m going to come back to the home thread – because I really do think it’s very important, and I think the way the show depicts people in those spaces (and invading those spaces) is significant – but it’s not just homes that are looked at in this way. The show is very specific about having feminine spaces and masculine spaces, with only a few in between (and usually those in-between spaces are very specifically for Stan and Ruby, showing just how in-sync they are with each other and how much they operate within a shared space). Beyond the women’s homes, there are the kids’ schools, Fine & Frugal (very important here to note that Annie emasculates Boomer in what is an associated female space and that he retaliates by attempting to rape her in her own home aka not only another female space, but a space that is symbolically Annie, something he repeats later with Mary Pat – a violation on essentially every character, narrative and symbolic level, again), the waxing salon, Nancy’s day spa, Jane’s dance recital (and actually the physical object of the dubby – being a highly feminine object lost in a very masculine space), and already what we know of s3, with Ruby being at a nail salon and Beth being at a paper / card store.

The show also has very masculinized places – I’d argue Boland Motors is one of the biggest ones – very much about ‘boys and their toys’, which is why Beth pointedly feminising it when she takes over is so significant and symbolically indicative of Beth’s claiming of that space; but also spaces like the police station, the drug dealer’s house in 2.07, the hotel suite Boomer briefly occupies, even to an extent the church. When the girls are in these spaces, there’s a distinct feeling of encroaching on territory that isn’t theirs, or being in spaces that they don’t belong in. This is often done as a two-hander too – the police station and the church Ruby doesn’t belong in anymore, not necessarily as a woman, but as a criminal.

Nothing though, from a technical standpoint, is more masculine than the spaces that are shown to be Rio’s. From the warehouse spaces to the bar to his loft to his car, Rio’s ‘places’ are distinctly masculine and generally placed in direct contrast with Beth’s femininity. But I’ll come back to that point too.

Home, Identity and Invasion

Almost every female character on this show has a very defined domestic space, from Beth, Ruby and Annie, to Mary Pat, Marion and Nancy. These spaces are representative of not just who they are, but who they are as women, and really comes to routinely represent the interior lives of these characters. This is probably the clearest in 2.09 when Beth is uncharacteristically messy following Dean taking their kids, and in 2.06, when Beth and Dean switch roles, and Dean is incapable of maintaining that domestic space because it’s not his. But let’s not start there.

Let’s start with Annie.

Annie’s apartment is fun, feminine (but not overly so), youthful, sweet, and generally a bit of organized chaos. It’s often underequipped – there are several mentions of the pantry being understocked – but it’ll always do in a pinch. More than anything though, Annie’s apartment comes to life when her son is in it. She’s happiest when he’s there, and when he’s not, her loneliness drives her to pulling people into the space with her, whether that’s the electronics guy, Greg, or Noah.

This is particularly significant when Annie’s forming bonds with people. The show has symbolically relied very heavily on Annie’s moments of vulnerability and connection being grounded in her apartment or an extension of it – usually her car. There was her reconnecting with Greg over YouTube videos in s1, there was Nancy and her talking about pregnancy in 2.02, and there was Noah settling in across season 2. These are all substantial moments in terms of Annie’s interior life that are represented through her home – she lets them all in. Which is why it’s significant what people do when they are in. Particularly the show marrying Noah getting to know Annie while simultaneously rifling through her belongings, trying to know specific things about her.

This is only reiterated by Noah’s scenes with Sadie later in the season – always at home, reiterating just how much Noah’s invaded Annie’s life, how much he’s inside her, how much he’s using everything and everyone who’s important to her, and how much he’s a threat to all of that too.

Ruby and Stan are a little different. Ruby’s house is the only one that’s genuinely shared with somebody, and the show represents this across the board – Ruby and Stan wear similar colours, the house feels like theirs, and the parts of their worlds that are separate are still frequently pretty defined by each other (even when Ruby’s acting away form Stan, the show makes it clear that Stan’s at the forefront of her mind, and vice versa). This indicates their partnership, but the house really still is symbolically tied to Ruby. This is particularly represented by the effect of having Turner in the house, but, more than that, it’s underlined symbolically by Turner arresting Stan at home. If the home symbolically carries the meaning of the woman, Turner arresting Stan there is starkly about Turner taking Stan away from Ruby. That image would not hold the same weight if he was arrested at, say, the park or the police station, because the locations don’t hold the same meaning.

It’s also why there’s significance in Stan and Turner’s showdown narratively speaking happening at the police station. It needs to, because symbolically it should occupy a masculine-coded space, because that showdown isn’t just about who they are as people, but who they are as men.

Beth and Beth’s house is very, very different to Annie and Ruby’s, and holds a more substantial narrative and symbolic function. From the very first episode, the potential of losing her house is key to her arc, and key to her identity as a character.

Beth is a lot of things, but a recurring image with her as a character is that she is invested in projecting a dated idea of ‘perfect womanhood’, and, within that, actually pretty perfectly creates parts of it for herself. For Beth – as somebody who was a housewife for roughly twenty years – her house really is her in every sense of the word. Every threat to that house, every disruption, every wrinkle, every intrusion, every theft, every invitation is personal. Dean might have at least two rooms in the Boland House, but that space is Beth’s on almost every symbolic level. When people pop into it, it’s a direct invasion of her.

This is something that the show has revisited time and time again, particularly when it comes to Beth’s bedroom. When people want to be close to Beth, that’s where they go. Annie slept there across season one when she was vulnerable and lonely, despite Beth telling her to go home, Jane broke into Beth’s closet there when she felt she was being neglected, Dean’s constantly trying to sidle into it (and – pointedly – only really in it when they’re fighting and Beth is revealing something / letting him in on something – that they’re out of money, that she has Rio’s money, that she knows about his affairs). When Beth has been at her most vulnerable, she lets Ruby and Annie into it. That said, the only character who’s been explicitly invited into it has been Rio – significantly both in fantasy, and in the show’s reality.

It’s not just about inviting people in though – when she kicks somebody out of it, the act is loaded.

She’s not just pushing somebody out of a space, she’s pushing them out of her.

It’s not just her bedroom of course (although I do think that’s the most significant space on perhaps the whole show). Rio and Turner between them have regularly invaded Beth’s living room, dining room, her kitchen, her yard. These are often distinctly tied with her doing something domestic and / or distinctly feminine. She’s bringing groceries home, she’s baking, she’s trying on jewellery, she’s mothering her children. Symbolically, this is often when Rio and Turner both are at their most masculine and their most threatening, which just serves to underline the invasion of Beth’s space.

It’s not just the girls though, as I said above. Female domestic spaces on this show are significantly coded as belonging to women, even if they share those spaces. Think about Nancy and Greg’s house – which is Nancy’s space, not Greg’s, and throughout season 1, Annie was pitted as the outsider to that. She’s a smear of hair oil on Nancy’s perfect couch. It’s made all the starker when Nancy kicks Greg out, and when Annie helps Nancy give birth in that house – a distinctly female, intimate act, that not only operates as a significant feminization of that space, but also about Annie fighting for Nancy to let her in again.

These spaces all keep secrets for the women they belong to too – Mary Pat’s husband’s dead body, Boomer’s very much alive one – because, again, symbolically, they are these women.

Rio’s loft is a really interesting one to look at in this context, because not only is it hyper masculine, but the show underlines that it does not hold the same significance that the girls’ places have for them. Beth does not learn Rio by being inside him – something made stark through their game of twenty questions. In fact, being in Rio’s loft, in his space, only serves to point out how much Beth doesn’t know him. Not only that, but Beth’s inability to lose her house (which is really central to her arc) is paralleled exactly with how easily Rio can separate from his.

The domestic space is not male.

Rio exists outside of it.

Beth x Rio and the Feminine x Masculine

Rio and Beth are basically at polar opposites of the masculine / feminine spectrum, and it’s something that this show often casts in a really stark light through dialogue, visual language, character coding and symbolism.

Beth epitomizes the old archetype of femininity and the female world in a way that I don’t think Annie and Ruby do (although I do think Ruby does in some respects). This is coded into almost every part of her character – from her long history of domestic servitude and marital submission (letting Dean control their finances, not working, keeping the house, etc.) to her fertility (four children!) to the way she dresses in floral, bakes, to certain traits, namely her nurturing tendencies, overt empathy and guilt (not being able to kill Boomer). Even in terms of the casting – Christina is somebody who has a very distinctly feminine body.  

On the other hand, Rio, in many ways, epitomizes the old idea of masculinity and the masculine world. He’s coded that way almost as much as Beth is coded as feminine – he’s physically strong (beating up Dean, holding Beth up while they were having sex), assertive, dominant, capable and collected. That’s not even touching on the fact that the golden gun is incredibly phallic, haha.

The show loves to place Beth’s femininity in direct contrast with Rio’s masculinity in a way that it doesn’t do with the other girls or – in fact perhaps more notably – with Beth and Dean (if anything, Dean’s frequently emasculated around Beth, but that feels like a whole other thing, haha), and it does this frequently, and often even in the same shot.

Most notably, think of her pearls on the warehouse door handle:

Their cars parked side-by-side:

Her necklace, his gun:

Her light, his darkness:

Her floral, his solid colours:

Interestingly though, these things are very rarely in competition or combative (although occasionally they are – Rio trying to use her femaleness and his maleness / their sexuality to literally bend her over a table in 2.06 being the clearest example of that). Generally speaking, the show’s visual language though shows us how these things compliment each other. They occupy different gendered spaces, so they can ‘crime’ in different ways – Beth using the big box stores, the secret shoppers, robbing the day spa, are all things that are highly feminised, and give Rio by proxy access to a world he ordinarily wouldn’t (albeit it’s not always a world he’s interested in – like it wasn’t with the botox), and the reverse of that is that Rio gives Beth access to spaces that are highly masculinised and that she ordinarily wouldn’t have access to (again, not always a world she’s interested in either). It’s why when they’re working together, and acknowledging they have different departments, they actually become something really whole, comprehensive and effective.

It’s the exploration of this that I find really intriguing generally, and particularly a thread that I think is reiterated where Beth’s usually at her worst and her most ineffective when she’s trying to emulate Rio’s masculinity. We saw that at the end of 1.10 and the start of 2.01, and I think we saw it at the tail end of season 2 too. When Beth’s succeeding, she’s typically doing something that revels in the strength and power and the underestimation of femininity and female spaces, and turns places that are typically viewed as passive into active ones.

The Secret Shoppers (which worked briefly! And fell apart because she couldn’t handle Mary Pat. Notably almost every scene with them was inside Beth’s house):

The day spa heist:

The Boland Motors takeover / reclamation that focused on feminising the place:

Pretending to be somebody’s mum to get into the kids’ space (which would’ve worked if Beth and Ruby hadn’t started fighting):

Breaking into Rio’s loft:

Again, this is something that seems to be being teased out already in s3 with the paper store and the nail salon, and I’m sure we’ll see it coming up again and again beyond that.

But yes! Your question, haha. I think Rio is enamoured with the strong, feminine space and the untapped female world that Beth exists in, and the ways that she is actively capable of utilising her femininity and her womanness in a way that is completely impossible for him. She can manipulate these spaces – either those already female, or those she makes female aka Boland Motors – in ways that he can’t, and in a way that, at the end of the day, lines his pocket, in the same way that giving her access to his powerful, masculine world lines hers. It’s market development, y’know? But it’s also something that could be a true and successful partnership if they could stop, y’know, playing games and trying to kill each other, haha.

I think it’s worth noting here too that the show has shown us explicitly that Beth absolutely gets off on Rio being highly masculine, and while I think Rio absolutely gets off on Beth being a boss bitch too, it’s also important to note how he responds to her when she’s displaying vulnerability in a way often defined as very feminine – namely crying – and how that display of femininity not only affects him, but often makes him want to touch her (and more and more, follow through on touching her).

Basically I think they’re as obsessed with the contrast between the two of them as we are, haha.  

#beth x rio #gg season 1 #gg season 2 #gg season 3 #set dressing #beth boland #rio #welcome to my ama #annie marks #ruby hill #stan hill #jimmy turner #nancy #mary pat #leslie peterson #boland motors #the boland house #the hill house #annie's apartment #rio's loft #femininity #masculinity

[nomadicism]

Now that She Ra is over, what are your thoughts on it? What about that Catradora kiss?

Hi Anon! Thank you for the Ask!

ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ Where to start?

I have so many thoughts on the show, and I’ve had so many thoughts since season 1. I’ve not written much of anything about She-Ra because I keep coming back to this problem of ‘where to start,’ or how to structure my thoughts beyond a +1000 item list. I can’t even pick one or two thoughts to dive into, because they all end up connecting to everything else —> honestly, that’s the mark of a tight narrative, even the big pieces that can fully stand on their own are still leading through to another piece. I fail at every attempt to write something brief.

Section I: Short answer first.

I have a very short and subjective list of media where I not only love (for different reasons) nearly every character (main, secondary, background), but where I also feel that their individual places or moments or arcs concluded in a way that felt right from start to finish. It’s a short list of media where connections and conflict between characters never felt forced, out-of-place, out-of-context, or done for shock value. She-Ra and the Princesses of Power makes that very short and subjective list.

It’s not often that a story hits all the right notes with me, and it’s much more often that a story starts off strong like that, and then turns me off ½-⅔ of the way through. I’ve quit video games during the final boss fight because the story lost me in the lead-up and I wasn’t going to waste 10-20 minutes of my time for something that turned out to be ‘meh’. It ain’t got to be deep, or anything either.

I really loved the voice acting. Everyone is great. A post for another time.

I love the aesthetics, which I wasn’t sure of at first teasers, but won me over in less than 3 minutes of the first episode (season 1) because I love bright pastels, the character designs are fun (can I still gush over variety of body types? YES), so many opportunities to explore stylish takes on the characters, and those Moebius-inspired scenery/background designs are a special interest delight. Season 5 delivered a visual ‘end game’ for the aesthetics in many ways, Section III further down will get into that a bit.

Section II: “What about that Catradora kiss?”

I gotta preface this with, shipping is not my go-to for how I enjoy creative works. It’s not a hobby for me. Sure there’s a few I dig more than others, but I’m otherwise agnostic about ships, unless there is a really bad story-fit (and that’s usually a subjective thing), or involves tropes that are a deal-breaker for me (and those typically relate a lot to the story fit).

With that said, I’m really happy to see Catradora be pulled off so brilliantly, and I think the kiss is a bold and beautiful big deal in a way that might not be obvious when considered in a vacuum. I see it as passionate and heart-felt, but also, it’s achieving(?) a relatable outcome (for me at least) that’s hard to describe. It’s an outcome yielded by a story in which two women—a hero and a villain—are divided and fight bitterly and then reconcile through love, while fighting a purity cult whose founder-prophet-god-king forces subservience through a conversion designed to strip someone of their identity (e.g. names they’ve chosen for themselves), memories-and-motivations, and love for others.

Despite these conversions, love still remains, it can’t just be baptized or therapy-ed away. Controlling puritans and authoritarians wielding religion or peace-panaceas as a weapon have been the villains in the lives of countless women and LGBTQIA people for a very long time. So yeah, I’ve got some feels about that. The last time I felt anything similarly relatable, or as strongly, was the Utena and Anthy relationship in Revolutionary Girl Utena (and really, their kiss during the surreal sequence at the end of the film adaptation).

Section III: Thoughts on Cult Aesthetics and Clones (the rough cut)

(1) In the future scenes at the end, Adora’s white dress with gold tiara and accents have this kind of goddess-like or Pallas Athena feel to it, which is a great mirror of the design choices for the god-like Horde Prime, his Purity Space Cult, mechanics/ship, and flagship interior scenery. Not saying that was the intention, but that’s how it came across to me.

Of course, those colors would be used because She-Ra already wears white and gold with a bit of red accent, which complement how the princesses are bright and colorful (pastels and jewel tones). The bold and bright colors helps signify that Etheria is full of life. Etheria is verdant and magical, and that sets up a contrast to the Fright Zone and the darker colors found in Horde characters (Hordak, Shadow Weaver, Scorpia, Catra, Entrapta, etc).

So the first kind of contrast was with the Fright Zone standing out as a poisoned/toxic against the bright, lively colors of Etheria and the princesses. Season 5 introduces another take on that contrast as Horde Prime is the opposite, or antithesis of Etheria’s colorful life. He’s like anti-life with his shades of light-and-dark grays on white, and only glow-green as an accent. In some cultures and religious traditions, white is associated with purity, and in others it is associated with death.

When Horde Prime ‘purifies’ Hordak for the sins of individuality and emotion (emotion for others, for his own sake), Hordak is drained of the colors he chose for himself during exile. In addition to being a contrast to Horde Prime (and informed by the 80s cartoon design), Hordak’s dark blue (or blue-black) and red color palette reflects the traditional use of red as a color for evil (especially vampirism) from back when diabolism was a stand-in for ‘the Devil’ in many forms of visual media (comics, live-action, animation, etc). In place of diabolic red, Horde Prime has toxic glow-green.

I absolutely love the use of the glow-green accents. Color trends for villains and significations of evil come and go, and I’m glad to see the color green be used again, and used so well. The last time I saw that shade of glow-green used so well was in Sleeping Beauty (re: Maleficent’s magic and the orb on her staff) and as the Loc-Nar in Heavy Metal. In both films, there are connotations of evil as a poisonous and corrupting influence. Green, in the context of evil, almost always signifies poison (and sometimes envy). I also like that the glow-green color is used in ways that aren’t immediately saying ‘this is evil’, such as the green baptismal waters and flames from the purification scene, or the green amniotic protein fluid. The language of piety and trappings of the sacred can cloak a sinister purpose.

I don’t know if any of that was intentional, but Horde Prime feels like the perfect synergy of purity and death (which has additional connotations, but that’s a very personal interpretation).

(2) Horde Prime immediately gave me subtle cult vibes in his first cameo (Season 3), and the follow-through on that was perfect and exactly what I was hoping to see. The background music throughout the scenes aboard the flagship fits well (love the soundtrack), and has the quality of Ecstatic Experience without pulling directly from any specific religion. Horde Prime’s dialogue is a delightful bit of narcissism veiled with the language of piety.

A purity cult comprised of clone-brother-worshippers of the cult’s founder-prophet-god-king reinforces that narcissism and has all the fun-dark feels of shiny-techno-future-dystopias. It is also an interesting use of clones, especially in a story format that usually never has the time to really dive into the complexities of cloning. This is the sort of thing that you’d be more likely to see in a one-off episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, rather than the basis for a greater scope villain, or multi-season nemesis. (and yes, Star Trek: TNG had an interesting clone episode)

Clones in science-fiction tend to fall into just a few tropes, and I generally dislike seeing clones show up in a story because the execution nearly always feels sloppy (in small ways or big ways). I did not get that feeling from She-Ra, where, the clones occupy the “cog in the machine” trope, but it is not their existence as clones that make them that way, it is the Will of Horde Prime that does. They are simultaneously expendable and sacred in their unity. It’s a nice flip on “stronger by working together” that Adora and the others have to learn (and struggle) to do.

It seems like, despite their religious programming, the clones have a little bit of their own personalities until Horde Prime ‘inhabits’ them to exert his Will. I’m trying not to read too much into it, b/c what comes across as ‘inhabits’ to me (especially with the religious/cult context), was probably meant more literal like described in the dialogue as a hive-mind control kind of thing. The first time it happens—to post-wipe/death Hordak—felt to me like a possession scene from The Exorcist, but without the kind of horror visuals that would scare both adults and children. The quick-and-subtle amount of body contortion and sound is still gross and creepy (because it should be), but it also reminds me of Ecstatic Experience in the form of speaking in tongues, or snake handling, or being a medium for a spirit. Again, I’m not saying any of that is intentional, but that’s how I see it.

(3) Finally, there is Entrapta, Hordak, and Wrong Hordak. Clones rarely get to be ‘humanized’ through friendship or romance arcs. I can think of a dozen or more robots that get to be humanized in that way, but can’t recall any clones that have (excluding doomed clones whose friendship/romance only existed for the sake of selling the tragedy of their death). Hordak gets death, renewal, and romance in a way that worked really well, and the totality of it is unique. I was a bit surprised that they could work in another clone—and I love Wrong Hordak—who pulls triple-duty as (1) comedy; (2) relevant to moving various pieces of the story along; and (3) more humanizing of the clones, which, again rarely happens as most stories take the easy low road when it comes to clones.

For Entrapta’s part, she’s never put in the position of giving up who she is (‘weird’ by many standards) for a romance. Her passion for technology is both an amusing double entendre at times, and integral to who she is. A romance for Entrapta does not replace her passion for technology, she can have both. Dating myself but, I came up in a time where most media (for children or adults) would rob a woman of her agency or passions during the resolution of a romance arc. Maybe times have changed, but it’s still nice to see none of that nonsense happening here.

#catradora #entrapdak #spop #spop meta #spop asks #ask me anything #spop s5 spoilers

[eyebright-iris]

Review: Met Gala 2019

Good morning to girls and gays only.  Straight men can perish.

Well, the Met Gala has rolled around once again and all I can say is: I’m so glad I’m a lesbian. The theme for this year was ‘Camp: Notes on Fashion’ and my GOD did some men decide that this was the perfect opportunity to come in a bland black tux or worse.

Some of the biggest disappointments of the night for me have to be Rami Malek and Taron Egerton, who, having both just played some of the most iconic men in recent history who lived, breathed and ate the essence of camp, saw fit to turn up in black tuxes.  Taron’s was kinda sparkly though and I still respect the dude for his general lack of typical masculinity elsewhere (more men commenting “phwoar” on their mates’ Instagram, please).  Shout out to Frank Ocean who showed up looking like any bouncer you might find outside one of my local clubs on a Saturday night.  He collaborated with James Charles to prove that while some gays showed their best, others certainly did not.  The theme was CAMP, James Charles, and you still couldn’t deliver.

I appreciated the change in pace from Darren Criss and Harry Styles, but to be honest, Harry’s had camper looks in concert and Darren Criss…well, I loved his look, but it also took me a solid ten minutes to work out that it was him and not just Brendon Urie in his regular concert gear.  Glittery jackets and statement eyeliner do not a camp icon make, I’m afraid, though you certainly did better than so many others.

Kim Kardashian was certainly…there.  I’m impressed with the way she managed to make herself look like she’s just stepped out of the ocean butt-naked and dripping wet, but girl.  You’re rich as fuck.  There’s more than bodycon dresses out there.  Also please smack your husband, he’s a dick and he’s wearing a black tracksuit.  Kendall and Kylie were a little more flamboyant but honestly, they were single-colour knockoffs of things I would say you could find at a Rio street festival, except that would be an insult to Brazil and all the ways Rio festivals embody everything the Jenner looks were not.  And to be real with you?  For all the colour that was there, they were boring.  What is it with these women and being afraid to be #Iconique? It’s sad that all they seem to know how to do is emphasise their boobs and hips in dresses with very little fabric to try and be daring.  If they weren’t so rich and influential no one would pay them any mind because you can see the same look on anyone else.

While I don’t like Cardi B, I can appreciate her attempt to get into the spirit of the Met Gala, which she pulled off so well last year.  I only wish her skirt hadn’t ended up looking like rows of theatre seating.  Katy Perry was there as both a chandelier and a hamburger, which, while a step up from the Jenner-Kardashian contributions, leads me to wonder if she knows what ‘camp’ means, or if her foray into queer culture stopped once she was done appropriating sapphic sexuality for male consumption in 2008.  Special mention must go to Benedict Cumberbatch who saw fit to show up dressed like some bizarre visiting cousin of Colonel Sanders who maybe definitely owned a plantation.  It wasn’t a black tux but somehow I just wish it had been.

To get to the real stars of the night, I think it’s only fair to start off by saying this Met Gala was once again, Black Excellence.  I cannot BREATHE for the number of incredible, powerful black icons taking to the pink carpet in works of art.  Let’s begin, shall we?

Billy Porter showed up (and showed everyone else up) with six hot half naked slave dudes decked out in gold carrying him in on a black-and-gold chaise-lounge like a modern-day Cleopatra and, once he had both feet firmly on the floor, threw up the massive golden wings of Isis and owned the entire space around him.  The crown.  The wings. The copious gold sparkly shit. The gold bedazzled stuff on his face. Every other man should be ashamed of his failure to measure up to the king. Also every man in a tux found DEAD by the side of the road thanks to our Lord and Saviour Billy Porter.

If Billy Porter is the king, then surely, there are too many queens to choose from.  From Laverne Cox’s strikingly shaped black dress with her brilliant blue-white hair and statement makeup, to Lupita Nyong’o showing up in the full neon spectrum of the rainbow, black women showed up to take the crown every single time last night.  Janelle Monáe’s stunning artsy dress blew me away, from the Picasso-like features to the multitude of hats that I have no idea how she balanced, she’s a masterpiece.  Lizzo stepped out looking like the Empress of Flamingos and I am absolutely here for every second of it.  The colours are loud, bold, and the outfit is as large-as-life as Lizzo herself.  Her hair was so stunning, I swear I thought it was a crown at first.

Black hair certainly had a starring role on the red carpet as well, from Tessa Thompson’s insanely long braid (she was carrying a WHIP to complete her outfit RIP all wlw) to Lupita’s impressive afro with its many golden combs.  I adored Danai Gurira’s hair and especially loved her Oscar Wilde-inspired outfit: here is a woman who understands her brief and works from it to great effect, and I loved Keiynan Lonsdale’s gorgeous hair and butterfly gown – seeing him embracing his queerness with both arms since Love, Simon led him to come out has made my heart big.

I can’t move on from the black dominance and excellence of the night without mention of two of my favourite looks: Zendaya and Lena Waithe.  If Billy Porter is the king and there are too many queens to count, then Zendaya stands out yet again as the living, breathing princess of the lot of them. I can hear the white tears over black girl magic Cinderella from here.  She arrived in a whole Cinderella dress that expanded and glows from within, a pumpkin-carriage purse and her own fairy godmother to transform her with a little bibbity-bobbity-boo?  She even lost her damn glass slipper on the stairs. A true artist.  As they say in the LGBT+ community: um, wig.

Speaking of which: Lena Waithe.  The lesbian icon herself, who showed up to last year’s Catholic-themed Met Gala in a pride flag cape, and who went hell for leather this year as well, putting every man in a tux to shame by not only out-classing them in how fantastic she looked in her lilac suit, but also paying homage to the origins of camp, with the back of her jacket boldly stating “Black Drag Queens Invented Camp” and the pinstripes on the suit actually being cleverly displayed lyrics to iconic drag queen songs.  She really Did That yet again and I’m knocked dead.

This review is already long as hell and it’s about to get longer because there are more looks that I want to mention.

First of all: Lady. Fucking. Gaga.  My girl did four outfits on the pink carpet in the space of 15 minutes and holy shit did she kill it.  Starting out in a voluminous hot pink ballgown, followed by a more sedate but still impressive black one with a matching umbrella, then down to a slim hot-pink number, huge sunglasses, and statement telephone, and finally ending up in an iconic mesh and underwear set, all while sporting the most gorgeous gold false eyelashes that made the whole thing pop.  The creativity and flair of everything Gaga does has made her iconic throughout the years and this event was no exception.

Ezra Miller FUCKED IT UP. Pinstripe suit with the sweeping train, glittering cage corset on top and a myriad of imitation eyes all over his face, carrying an eerie mask of himself on a stick?  Phenomenal.  The confidence in his walk as he moved and the way he displayed his look was so striking and seeing him own it so much made my night.

I loved Jordan Roth’s take on Billy Porter’s wings, allowing him to show up as a literal whole theatre. I loved Ryan Murphy’s sparkling pink champagne tux and high-collared cape.  Florence Welch absolutely slayed in her glittering wing-collared cloak.

However, one of the standout looks for the night was Hamish Bowles.  The embodiment of camp, with that magnificent fur-trimmed patterned cape. The look is absolutely dominating even when he’s standing still, and when he moves, the whole thing comes alive. Watching some of the dynamic shots taken of him having fun with his outfit, I felt like I was watching a bullfighter in a lion’s mane – and all of that is good.  I can’t quite put my finger on why I felt he looked like a fabulous Mrs Doubtfire (maybe it’s the shoes) but the outfit was one of the best and definitely set a bar that so many men fell short of.

Final Words:

Can someone please tell cishet men to step their game up?  Or men in general (I see you Frank Ocean and James Charles letting the damn side down)?  They can stay boring if they want, however.  The rest of us will be having far more fun without them, and the plain black tuxes certainly are no talking point of the evening.

#review #met gala #met gala 2019 #fashion review #fashion #red carpet #zendaya #billy porter #ezra miller #lady gaga #i wanted to get this out in a timely fashion so it was relevant #also idk if you can tell but i'm eagerly anticipating macdoesit's review because his red carpet reviews are EVERYTHING and i think it shows #*it shows here #i am INFLUENCED because i love him

[ogbellarke]

(i took this from @ vesselofink on ig)

this was supposed to be a 'work on your wip and answer a question a day' type thing, but we'll instead use these questions to distract us from our wips!

1. what is your current word count? around 34k

2. what’s the basic summary of your wip? a girl discovers she’s an enhanced human after her father is murdered so she joins a secret group that is after those who killed her father and who plan kill more like her.

3. what is your title? calling the cavalry :)

4. who’s your favourite character? how are they introduced? my favs are the core five lol they’re all written to be likeable. and they’re all introduced in the first three chapters.

5. your favourite ship in your wip? the romantic subplot and the secret couple, don’t wanna spoil lol

6. what’s the biggest mistake your mc has ever made? i’m actually not sure yet, i’m not too deep in backstories yet but she’s an icon in the present

7. what/who inspired you to write? my very first work was inspired by a dream that wouldn’t leave me alone. but for this work, it was actually that taylor lautner movie where he finds out his parents aren’t his real parents and he has to go on the run with lily collins from a bad organization lol

8. most underrated character? her name is noa cantillo and if i ever publish, she’ll be considered the most underrated, i’m sure of it.

9. favourite lines? with or without context. “we still have too much life to live.” “even drunk you talk like a scientist.” “don’t think this means anything.” “i like jello.” “don’t tell me i’m going soft again just because i’m proud of you.”

10. create a moodboard/aesthetic for your mc. first one for my main, savannah and second one for the wip itself

11. what is your mc’s fondest moment? when she graduated and walked across the stage as her dad whistled and clapped louder than anyone with the biggest smile on his face.

12. songs that remind you of your wip and/or favourite characters? young god by halsey, somewhere only we know by keane, nothing’s gonna hurt you baby by cigarettes after sex

13. do you enjoy torturing your characters? lol no omg but sometimes it’s necessary.

14. what is your mc most afraid of? oblivion, disappointing her dad, failure to bring an end to the bad guys

15. secret talents of your characters? with the enhanced beings that most of them are, they have a faster metabolism, super speed and strength, skin pliability, and quicker regeneration. but idk about like legit secret talents yet

16. if your book had the opportunity to be turned into a media, would you take it? who would be casted as who? oh fuck yes omg that’s what’s keeping me going--the possibilty of a movie. and laurel thoma, xavier serrano, marina laswick, tessa thompson, and michael b jordan are my core 5 face claims so

17. what are some basic moral and general beliefs your mc has? she’s an atheist, first of all. she believes in second chances. she has a real good moral compass and always fights for what’s right and for those who cannot protect themselves

18. how did your characterws find out the tooth fairy doesn’t exist? savannah found out at 14 when her dad decided she was old enough. kit was a foster kid so he never got that experience. same with tate. heidi woke up to her mom putting a loonie under her pillow at 9 and was traumatized. and grey decided at 5 that he was too old for that ‘baby stuff’.

19. which character of yours has the best name? oooo, i love my main girl savannah natalia moreno (fun fact her first name was orginally natalia but 20k words in i decided i liked savannah better.) but arlington samuel reed and beckett alfred greystone are also winners lol

20. who is your least favourite oc? the villain lol gotta read to know who that is

21. teaser! post a snippet of your wip. here’s a three paragraph entry to learn how no-bullshit my main sav is :)

Grey turned to her, standing up straight with his arms crossed. If Sav were honest with herself, she’d admit the guy kind of scared her. “Excuse me,” he began with a low voice, “I'd like to advise you to watch your tone.” 

She understood how vital Grey was here, but he was no authority figure of hers, and ever since she was little, her father taught her not to let people walk all over her. She was emotional, and she spoke her mind when she got upset. 

“Excuse me, but I saw my father killed in front of my own eyes, I was chased from my home in freaking sweatpants, shot at, picked up by strangers, shot at some more, and now I'm told I’m being targeted by some secret organization that's been out to kill me since birth! I think I'm entitled to a bit of leeway right now, don't you?”

22. what are some representations your wip has? (gender, lgbt, poc, disabilities, etc) of the 12 main characters, 6 of them are women, 9 of them are lgbtq+, 8 of them are poc, and as for disabilities--there’s a character with half-deafness, one with a prosthetic arm, and another with a prosthetic leg. also the main character has ptsd.

23. is your wip a stadnalone or part of a series? honestly, it could be a series if i got my shit together. i’ve written two endings already, one of which closes it completely, the other opens it to a sequel so we’ll see

24. which character goes through the biggest change throughout the story? def the main girl. she starts out as a regular college student and ends so strong and powerful.

25. who knows about your wip or interest in writing? do they help/support you? only my fam and a few friends know about my writing at all, but as for this book, my girl @harpermiller who i love very much lets me rant and send snippets and ask questions all the time

26. annoying habits your characters have? heidi is a know it all, kit is almost annoyingly loving, tate is real closed off and even those closest to her don’t know much about her, grey doesn’t let his emotions show which makes it hard for people to help him.

27. what’s the last three lines you wrote for your wip? with or without context. no context!

Sav supposed this was their now or never moment. She knew she loved Kit Torres--she just didn't know in what way. Sometimes it felt completely platonic, other times Kit would give her a look that grew butterflies in her stomach.

28. are any characters based off people you know in real life through looks, personality, or habits? i suppose tate is kind of like a side of me no one knows. and kit gives me grant ward vibes sometimes. but other than that, no.

29. what’s a ship that could never happen in your wip? who and why? almost anyone with grey because he’s their leader and mentor. 

30. what’s your goal word count? like 60-100k honestly i just wanna finish it lol

tag 5 peeps to keep it going. pick a wip and get crackin: @nillle @harpermiller @trashy-greyjoy @biondebeauties @holy-captain

#tag games #i wrote this on my laptop so sorry for any spelling mistakes lol

[girlreviewsgirlmovies]

Jane the Virgin (Episode 1)

Okay, I don’t want to be that person who reviews a show based on one episode, because unlike movies, a single episode is not a single piece that can always be taken individually but...

Someone please let me know if this gets better? Because the way this episode portrays sexuality in general is kind of rubbing me the wrong way. It’s not entirely in the text, but there is some significant virginity-related actual text that comes before it so my mind was very aware of whether it would actually put effort to subvert the message it gives in the first few minutes or reiterate the message throughout the rest. Let me break it down.

Pre-emptive disclaimer: keep in mind I am a deconstructionist. If the show later does things that go against my first impression and deconstruct itself, that’s great, but this is just the messages that I felt were apparent in episode one. 

So we open up on our protagonist Jane in her childhood years, getting the good old harmful chewed-gun monologue that has made girls think that losing their virginity makes them less valuable as people from her grandmother, whose using the “crumpled up flower” version. Cut to years later when Jane is an adult whose made the choice to stay a virgin. Now, every woman 100% has the right to make this choice themselves, but the show lets us know this by specifically showing Jane has the flower framed on her wall and when her boyfriend is making out pretty heavily with her she looks at it, and when a petal drops she cuts things off. This flower is set up to represent Jane, and shows that by making out with this guy Jane is loosing something, she’s going too far. Not exactly the best symbolism to launch at us right after another character actually gives us the “having sex makes you worth less as a person” monologue. 

Now, I’m okay with the character feeling this way if the show admits at some point that her mindset is unhealthy-- because seriously, if she’s so caught up in this virgin thing that she’s got the flower framed, she’s probably too caught up in it to have a healthy relationship with sex within marriage either. The problem with the flower or gum monologue is that there is no metaphorical equivalent of getting married for a chewed piece of gum. It’s value is diminished no matter what the context it was chewed in, and it’s a documented fact that some girls internalize this teaching so much that they still feel like they’ve lost something of themselves when they have sex within marriage. And it’s okay if the character feels this way and they address it, but I’m not going to be impressed if this character ever gets married and there isn’t backlash from this teaching without a whole lot of character development between now and then. Someone tell me if the show is worth my time and addresses the psychological implications in its premise or if it just glosses over this as if the chewed gum monologue is a healthy way to teach abstinence. 

Anyways, cut to some guy having a conversation with his wife. Now, she says one line that kind of rings the, “Maybe this person is a bit greedy” alarm bell that the only people who feel guilty about taking money are the ones who have too much, but this woman is labelled as his wife and she tells him to calm down and gets on her knees... cut from blowjob to the on-screen text calling her a “maneater”. Hilarious blowjob pun on the surface, considering the show then indicates that the man is unhappy in this relationship... but we haven’t seen that much yet, so this line not-so-subtly connects the fact this girl is a bad person with the fact she gives her own husband blowjobs before she even does anything bad. I mean, maybe it was just a blowjob pun and this girl is going to be a great person, but blowjobs are not the first thing I think of when I see the word “maneater”, it’s literally a word for slut, and it’s a word for women taking advantage of men without caring about them. Considering this show has already given us a speech of “virginity good, sex bad”, this scene gives me the impression that going forward the show will be reinforcing the opinions of the characters, not just representing characters with these opinions. Because Virgin Protagonist Good, Blowjob Lady Bad. 

Next concern comes in the show introducing a lesbian character. Now, representation is great... but the first impression we get of her wife is that the wife is loose (she’s having an affair). Then our lesbian character whose been cheated on makes a huge medical error that causes problems for our protagonist. Not to say that lesbians aren’t people who make mistakes just like all other people, especially (in terms of the doctor) when they have a good reason to be upset and off their game... but I’m not super impressed that within its first ten minutes the show is 2/2 on lesbian characters doing bad things. And honestly this kind of also connects to the umbrella of “Bad Women Have Sex” because these are two married lesbians.

Next comes what I was expecting, which is the character realizing there’s a misunderstanding... and the show goes, “Alas, it was too late”. Except, it wasn’t. Plan B... like, exists. Call Jane back, tell her immediately that she was mixed up with another patient, give her the pill, and the egg would be prevented from implanting. So this kind of connects back, for me, to the idea that once you have sex you’re a damaged person that the show has shown us so far. 

Beyond that, the show loses basically all of the doubt I was giving it for happening to make a character making a mistake whose a lesbian, because instead of calling Jane right back and trying to fix the problem, our lesbian doctor starts looking for a lawyer. Sorry, you just went from “character making an understandable mistake” to “character being a terrible person”. We do get another lesbian introduced here, though, so at least it’s now only 2/3 at the moment for bad people lesbians... no wait, the ex here tells her not to say anything because she could lose her license instead of, “Hey, you know, maybe don’t wreck a person’s life to try to protect yourself from a medical malpractice suit over medical malpractice you actually committed.” Maybe I’m having a strong reaction here because I’m childfree and afraid of pregnancy, but seriously, I’m counting this as 3/3 terrible lesbians here. 

And don’t get me wrong, I get that this is jumping through loops because the point of the show is a virgin pregnancy and it wouldn’t happen if these characters did the compassionate thing... but seriously, you had to introduce four people being dicks in the first episode when any of them could have been men, and you made all of them women and one of them a lesbian. Well, I mean, there was a dude who was a dick when the sperm-sample guy mistook Jane for someone he saw at a strip club but honestly, while I get her being insulted he thought she was a stripper, but it’s honestly that much a dick move. A stripper isn’t a bad person or anything... but this show is treating all sexual women as bad women so far so that kind of fits in with all that bad impression.

And honestly it just keeps going in introducing sexual women and then indicating they’re bad women. Jane’s mom checks out a guy on the bus and then goes off about how “slutty Crystal” is cheating and sending nudes. 

And now we’re back to Shitty Doctor and she’s literally told the father before she’s told Jane and MY GOD LADY YOU JUST REALLY HAVE TO BE THE WORST POSSIBLE PERSON IN THIS SCENARIO DON’T YOU? She does at least offer an abortion pill very chill and nonchalantly, which is honestly more than I expected of this show at this point... 

Okay, so her boyfriend proposes despite their timeline, which makes me lose a little respect for him... but to be honest, I do think it’s a realistic portrayal of a virgin-until-marriage relationship for the most part. A lot of religious abstinence-only young people do marry early in part because of the no-sex-before-marriage thing. Even if he says that’s not it. There’d be no reason not to stick to the timeline, really, if they can’t raise kids right this moment (because like, he don’t know she pregnant), except so they can start having sex. 

I was ready to give this show some credit for showing Jane thinking about it and talking to her boyfriend before deciding about the abortion, but while I’m totally okay with the character deciding to keep the baby because that’s her choice... I am kind of disapproving of the fact that actually it starts right in on the idea 

Oh, and it turns out Jane’s mom got pregnant as a teenager for “being irresponsible” (Jane’s words, but still, the show has very much aligned us with her here as the straight man, and she literally says she doesn’t want to turn out like her mom) and “grandma made you [have me]”. And we’ve seriously moved into anti-abortion and punish-kids-with-pregnancy area here. Loosely, not as heavy-handed as the “sex is bad, virginity good” theme that the show has been hammering. 

And then we have the sperm-donor and his wife literally deciding they want the child before Jane even decides if she’s going to keep the child, let alone if she’s decided she wants a complete stranger in her child’s life just because it was his sperm. And now that they’d meeting, I’m realizing that telling the dad not only what happened but Jane’s name was a huge illegal privacy breech. Seriously, if this lady doesn’t get her license revoked by the end of this I’m going to scream... And like, by the time he tracks her down, she might’ve already had an abortion and he just like... assumes she hasn’t? I dunno, I’m just getting the jeebies from the way this subject is being handled. I’m glad she did actually consider it fully, it wasn’t just “Hey, I’m glad I wasn’t aborted so I won’t abort”. Like, she’s thought this through a lot. 

“You didn’t drop the cancer card”. First off, at least props to him for not doing that. She doesn’t owe him a biological child just because it’s his only chance and I’m glad that the show has kind of shown that. Given, I’m still seething about the fact that he even had the tools (name) to track her down... But in this same scene, we definitely learn Petra is a maneater in the non-punny sense of the word. And a gold-digger. So yeah, still pretty much all for all on sexual women getting a bad name here...

URG. Grandma on the other hand, did not think this through. She’s doing the whole “I’m glad you weren’t aborted so you can’t abort this baby will be the best part of your life!” thing. And we don’t address the fact Grandma was snooping in Jane’s room and feels personally fucking betrayed by what she thinks Jane chose to do with her own damn body. 

“I’ll convince your brother not to report you to the medical board.” UMMM JANE CAN/SHOULD DO THAT TOO. SHE’S THE ONE WHO’S PREGNANT NON-CONSENSUALLY. HELLO. 

“I want to support you no matter what, but I don’t want to support you with another guy’s kid.” Sorry, but this was Artificial Insemination Rape here. I mean, I’m glad this asshole showed his feathers and will be gone from her life, but seriously. His girlfriend basically has a rape baby and he’s telling her that if she doesn’t abort it he doesn’t want to be with her... god. I mean, I would break up with him and then abort it, to be honest, if I were her, but. Look, I’m just pissed that they’re representing the one pro-abortion argument besides Jane’s, who we know preemptively is going to be convinced away from because that’s the whole point of the show, by this absolute asshole just being an asshole. Jane says “Of course I get why” but like... you really shouldn’t. You really, really shouldn’t. You are the victim here of medical malpractice, and he can either treat the kid like his own if you chose to have it or he’s an asshole. DNA don’t mean shit. You didn’t cheat, so there shouldn’t be a problem. (Further convinced this guy proposed for sex, btw).

Just on a completely separate note here than the “sex bad, virgin good” thing this whole thing has going on... I’m not particularly impressed that this show broke up two interracial couples in the first episode. Nothing much to say on that, just... I dunno, with having three terrible lesbians and now this, just... not impressed. And then got them back together after we already know they’re unhealthy relationships... *sigh*

Positives: POC represent. (And I know it’s weird to put this as an end note after talking about how I think certain things the Latino characters are spouting which is probably a realistic thing... my problem isn’t that, it’s how the universe of the show in general appears to align with what they say and tell us that thematically we should be aligning with the things they’re saying.) That there are lesbian characters at all. And to be fair there is still the one thing against my read of “sex bad” in that Jane does get pregnant despite doing “everything right”, which is almost a hint of a subversion of the “sex uses you up” theme. Characters having opinions is fine, my only issue is that the show seems to be aligning us with some pretty toxic opinions, 

So just... someone tell me if the “sex bad” message gets better or not.

#not a movie #jane the virgin #s01e01 #tv shows

[archive-03012022]

great comet 8/24/17 (matinee with dave malloy + blaine krauss u/s anatole)

ok so this is more for me to remember than for anyone else but here’s a song-by-song breakdown of great comet from when i saw it lol (lots about technical stuff)

i was in the top row of banquettes which is honestly the best place to sit in the entire theatre. we could see every part of the theatre (balcony and mezz included) without having to spin our heads around like owls and there was a+++ audience interaction (i’ll get to that later)

pre-show

ok so everyone literally burst out of the entrances randomly without any warning and just started talking to everyone it was great

a man with a sparkly mustache made sure we were all ok with strobe lights and if not to just deal with it and cover our eyes

i got a pierogi box thrown at my face. fun times.

theres an announcer guy that starts speaking in russian and english before just switching over to english

announcer: cameras? ensemble: NEIT!

my grandmother got super into this format and started shouting along #quality family bonding

prologue

dave malloy is a god end of story

but seriously the prologue is such a jam 

before the song actually starts theres a super sad scene of natasha saying goodbye to andrey and she hands him his coat and letters and he gives her the locket (she has a hearbreaking “no!” as he starts leaving)

the lights go from basically pitch black to full blast at the line “anD THIS IS ALL IN YOUR PROGRAM”

denee benton is so beautiful

the ensemble was roaming around everywhere and came over to where we were a LOT

bolkonsky made his entrance right next to us after his costume change right before the minor characters line by screaming and jumping through a curtain with his guitar 

the whole ensemble gathers on the platform by the doors for the beginning of pierre

pierre

dave malloy is a god end of story

while they’re all gathered watching pierre for the first bit of pierre, sonya is rubbing natasha’s back, reassuring and soothing her

i love the ensemble,,,,,, so much,,,,,,,,

helene conducts all the women dancing during “he is charming he has no sex”

the “good russian men” part singled out azudi and he looked so offended at pierre lol

all of the “ahhhh”s were magical

theres not much that hasn’t already been said about this song tbh?

oh and right after it’s over all the ensemble members drop out of their poses and deadpan, walking to the exits with bored expressions like “alright shows over, bye guys, our job is done”

moscow

marya? hates sonya so much?

but when they’re introducing each other natasha is super prim and proper and sonya does this awkward, lopsided bow with her little hand puff half hanging off brittain is such a dork im love her

natasha’s humming is so childish/naive i love it

“you’ll read to me while i K N I T”

marya casually roasting the audience? iconic

marya’s whole speech to natasha is honestly just great

mary walks between marya and natasha when she’s mentioned

private and intimate life of the house

he

draws

out

every

single

word

“people enjoy me though” got a really good laugh

gelsey bell? the godsent angel? yes, Her

B R I N G M E M Y S L I P P E R S (he finally started screaming it again)

“natasha is young and worthless and dumb” natasha literally looks so offended its great

mary picks a “suitor” from the audience and he was so confused

BOLKONSKY KISSED HIS “CHEAP FRENCH THING” ON THE LIPS FOR SUCH A LONG TIME AND HER DAUGHTER WAS LITERALLY DYING BEHIND HER

paul pinto’s servant character. that’s all.

marya plays the cowbell during the “where are my glasses” breakdown and generally looks disappointed in him the whole time 

natasha and bolkonskys

there was a 12 year old boy who had no clue what was happening and kept getting in the way of them putting the stools down it was great

all of bolkonsky’s interjections are met with a really quick spot on him and idk it was just super funny to me (he also did this really weird/hilarious lip trill at the end of “i do not wish to see herrrrrRRRRR”

denee and gelseys harmonies 

mary and natasha’s fake laughter

“says the mean old man in his underthings”

HOLY SHIT GUYS WAIT

WHEN MARY SAYS “AND HE LOOKED AT HER ONCE / HEAD TO TOE” BOLKONSKY MUTTERED “NOT IN MY HOUSE” AND I DIED

bolkonsky exits past marya who, once again, just sort of glared at him

no one else

the blue light change??

all of the light bulbs slowly start coming down and fading on to look like stars its gorgeous

at the “we were angels once, don’t you remember?” she said it right to this teenage girl at a table who literally grinned and turned away to be like “holy shit that just happened” it was really sweet

natasha is so innocent throughout the whole song its honestly so beautiful

andrey is shown in a blue spotlight with snow falling around him and he unwinds the red ribbon from her letters (and wraps it around his wrist like a bracelet for safe keeping) and starts reading them 

when he leaves and runs into the darkness natasha steps into his spot under the snow and starts singing the “you and i”s after him

the opera

marya is such a godmother is so cute

sonya’s narration is gorgrous and i’ll never get over it

ensemble members twirl mirrors around natasha at the beginning

this song makes me think about how important it is for natasha to have people like her which makes the ending even more sad :(

helene’s entrance is honestly so her idek how else to explain it

pierre’s fist pump when he says “though i’m enjoying myself at home :D”

marya is super obvious about mentioning pierre to helene since she’s with dolokov

the curtain “rising” is shown by the lightbulbs going back into the ceiling

the opera is such a good satire

GELSEY’S GOT SOME PIPES

when the dancers are “dying” they’re making this really funny, drawn out sighing noises and its amazing

denee’s face was hilarious after the dance seen she was just like :o

anatoles entrance is so extra

with every little *bum* *bum* he moved his head in a different direction and the lights flashed

helene and anatole have this creepy little moment where they’re standing under a light bulb and anatole taps his cheek for her to kiss but turns his head so she kisses him on the lips and right as their lips touch the lightbulb goes out

the opera singers continue miming in the doorways of the balcony and it was really cool to see

the ensemble was in costumes on the stairs acting out the opera as well

not only was anatole constantly looking at natasha, so was helene,,,,,,,,,

natasha hallucinates andrey’s dead body being torn apart, holding out the ribbon that held her letters together towards her

natasha and anatole

anatole checks himself out in the mirror before entering the box (blaine was really funny in purposefully pulling down a single curl over his forhead for ~fashion~)

i feel like he sings deeper than anatole but its wayyyy smoother like damn

when he’s asking natasha to the costume tournament her little “oh (:? oh,,,, i (:” when shes feigning modesty gives me life

blaines voice holy s h i t

when he grabs her from behind its really sensual and denee moaned really loudly and i

have i mentioned i love blaine’s voice

when anatole steals her flower natasha looks so scandalized

at one point he smells it and seems so in love

helene is watching the whole thing go down (basically the whole time the two of them are “alone” together she’s watching them)

after chasing each other around the stage a bunch them sitting down next to each other was treated as a Big Moment

the duel

in between songs anatole walks to pierre’s study fist bumping and grabbing at his head like “YES! YES YES!”

at “oh dear andrey’s betrothed?” anatole did like this little so-so hand gesture that was hilarious

the strobe lighting was way more intense than i expected

i watched grace mclean grind on a riding crop and then put it between her teeth it was great

lowkey threesome up in the mezz/balcony

and the girls were essentially using the railings as stripper poles

during “just as a duck is made to swim in water, god has made me as i am” anatole moonwalks, does the chicken dance, and gets grinded on by two girls

there was just A Lot during the duel

but i was too focused on celia mae’s glow in the dark thong to notice most of it

“here’s to health of married women.... and their lovers ;D”

oh i just remembered there was girl passed out drunk over someone’s box and all the people sitting in it were howling with laughter

helene’s voice is cracking when she says “he will kill you stupid husband” and might i say,,,,,,,,,, character depth

paul pinto’s announcer voice for duel

helene screams when the gun is shot

when pierre holds out his arms to be shot but starts looking around in confusion omg

idk but i love “we live to love another day”

dust and ashes

dave’s version is honestly so gut-wrenching

i never noticed in the recording but the strings on this song are honestly so beautiful??

he acts the hell out of this song and its just so :(

during the “we are asleep until we fall in love” the ensemble lines up in the orch aisles and in front of the mezz all backlit and its just so haunting 

as their “ah”s get more and more intense the lights don’t change at all and it just seems very church choir-y

sunday morning

sonya and natasha seem like they’re sneaking around in the beginning and its really cute

“everyone sees a man” is delivered so well, like she’s trying to reassure her 

the whole time natasha is staring into the mirror pierre is standing right behind her looking at her through the mirror

marya still hates sonya

charming

helene enters through the double doors with her face covered by her cloak and its sort of a mystery who it is until she starts singing

natasha seems embarrassed at first (since shes basically in her underwear) but then starts fixing her garters and stuff almost like she’s trying to impress her

amber gray holy shit

since natasha is still in just her corset and garters helene gives her her cloak 

“he was thinking about you, kept sighing about you” natasha literally lights up and puts her hand over her mouth and walks away like a middle schooler lol

when natasha gets her dress on first she runs around and twirls but then starts imitating helene but its still really childish

helene yanks andrey’s necklace off of natasha before giving her her own and keeping it for herself

in summary this song is Not Straight Whatsoever

the ball

all of the couples enter from the doors doing this weird little movement before going down the stairs 

two girls danced in front of us together (edit: it was gelsey and katrina i only just remembered) and it made my day 

all of the dancers (all through out the theatre, all the way into the balcony) are doing the same movements as anatole and natasha but since they’re in dark greens/black and anatole and natasha are in white it’s easy to not get distracting

blaine as anatole,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yeah

the “i love another” seems a bit forced on natasha’s side like she’s just saying it out of habit rather than for real

helene is still watching them

the kiss

lasts

a

long

time

BUT

when you look away you see that everyone has wine glasses and are putting their fingers around the rim to make the little noise

helene has a lightbulb over her and a spot. she’s the last one to stop.

the way natasha’s little part after the kiss goes it makes her look like she’s going to choose andrey because she’s singing to the orchestra but turns to anatole to sing the “i will love youuuu” part

the ensemble is lined up on the staircase, “ahhh”ing and holding their glasses up to toast them

anatole and natasha run through the doors together

letters

the whole cast comes in through the double doors

my grandmother screamed “HEY HANDSOME” when blaine passed by wlfkjvbvjnrev

most of the cast had stuck their letters to audience members into their bras/shirts

andrey stands on the platform in front of the doors (the same place he enters pierre and andrey) and pierre speaks directly to him for his letter

at “it is NAPOLEON” the portrait of napoleon on the wall (which was right above my seat lol) lights up and pierre starts pointing the gun at him

anatole and andrey stand on walkways next to each other when natasha is writing her letter

pierre, natasha, and mary all stand in a circle around the study singing at each other and it looks really cool

ok so anatole’s love letter..............

dolokov was holding the letter

they actually made the woman passing the letter walk up on stage to pass it to natasha

blaines “just says yes”s were suuuuuuuuuuper stretched out but he was pressing his face in her chest, stomach, thighs and trailing his hand up her whole body and it was uhhhhhh way more sensual than how lucas steele plays anatole

sonya and natasha

sonya steals the letter from natasha while shes’s sleeping

their argument is honestly everything

“its seems to me i’ve loved him a hundred years............ :)” sonya is just like “what the fuck natalie”

“would you think so badly of me??” brings me back to how much natasha just wants to be loved and cared for 

sonya and natasha yelling at each other is so heartbreaking

her letter to mary is all very final

sonya alone

the whole theatre is dark and theres a single lightbulb and spot on sonya as she sings

natasha makes her way up the stairs to the mezzanine (PASSES ANDREY WHO’S SITTING THERE WATCHING HER)

and wanders all the way across the mezz and back down the stairs on the other side

the whole time, sonya never takes her eyes off of her

i think we need to appreciate that in the realm of musical theatre, there are no other songs about just loving your friend? and wanting to help them?

“i know you’ve forgotten  me” natasha is back in front of the stage left stairs, but a light bulb lights up over her and she stops, looking at sonya

“it’s all on me” kills me she’s so selfless shes sacrificing her friendship with her best friend just to save her and just kjvn;efvaer

preparations

pierre literally doesnt care about what anatole’s doing 

theres a spot on sonya and natasha when they are mentioned

helene brings dolokov the tea

anatole shaves in front of a mirror

there was still shaving cream left on his face and dolokov had to wipe it off his face while they were arguing lol

the two of them were arguing really aggressively it was intense

i think helene was playing the drum during this whole part

balaga/the abduction

paul pinto deserved a tony

my grandmother stole egg shakers from the row in front of us

balaga runs up into the mezz and starts wreaking havoc it’s great

the musicians were all running all over the place saying hi to audience members and generally being great

anatole’s “woooooooooooo” and cape spin was a sight to behold tbh

blaine did a little “mm” noise when everyone went quiet after the big "WOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHH”

his “gooooooooooooodbye” was so stretched out that the ensemble started swaying really slowly but then had to go the other way before starting again it was really funny

during the goodbye my gypsy lovers part marya slid on the end of the banquette seats i was in and i was freaking out so she blew me a fucking kiss and ran away

everyone dancing in a circle around the study

there was a little accordion-off 

alex gibson came over and was like “WATCH ME! WATCH ME OVER HERE!” and had a dance off with a guy all the way up in the balcony

there were people dancing allllllllll over these platforms through out the theatre there was never a dull moment

alex gibson also started humping a drum next to us and banging it while he moaned

he was so into it that he didn’t realize he was blocking lauren zakrin from chucking pages of war and peace everywhere (which i caught out of the air which is pretty neat)

one of katrina’s braids was coming loose so she started helicopter-ing them in our faces

i saw helene and marya make out and it was great

all of it was so completely organized chaos that was so incredible watch i love rachel chavkin with all my heart

when anatole sat down on the banquette next to the girl he made her kiss him on the cheek and did the “stretching” to put an arm around her thing it was hilarious

the girl leaned her head on him and they just chilled out (they actually looked like a real couple tbh) for an awkwardly long time before they all ran up the stairs

marya’s entrance is just as incredible as you would imagine

anatole did like a little smile like “uhh, hi” and then sprinted down the stairs away 

in my house

grace mclean deserved a nomination for best featured. seriously.

the maid servant tries to apologize to marya but she just points her back inside the doors

ok so grace kept it all super calm and contained until she exploded on natasha

she honestly plays this scene so well she’s ocnstantly jumping between concern, disappointment, and pure, unfiltered rage

natasha screaming is terrifying

when natasha “falls to the sofa” (she’s stand completely upright with her arms crossed) marya softens and becomes very calm again but when sonya tries to go to her she snaps again

natasha? still? thinks? anatoles? coming? :(

a call to pierre

the letter is followed by the light bulbs and lights under the mezz as it makes its way across the stage

paul pinto is the best

he stretches out the announcement

so

much

“........................................w h a t”

grace and dave have such good chemistry

the ensemble’s vocals make this scene so much more tense

“natasha and A N A T O L E  K U R A G I N”

marya’s whole demeanor changes when she hears that he’s married

find anatole

pierre literally walks down to the study, back up, puts on a coat and is already wheezing its actually pretty funny

“the club” is just the ensemble along the stairs and mezz dimly lit and gathered in small groups pantomiming its really realistic

“he cant BE MARRIED!” is said in complete disbelief and heartbreak

helene sits with anatole’s head on her lap

on his way to the study anatole passes sonya who glares at him

and if looks could kill

pierre and anatole

blaine plays off anatole as faking his confidence from the very start of the scene thinking pierre will just let him off

pierre literally pins him down and almost bashes his head in with a paperweight

OH WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED

helen is watching the whole thing from the stage right staircase (she was right in front of me) as if she’s eavesdropping from the hallway or something

she flinches when pierre stars grabbing at anatole and reaches her hand out to help when he’s about to hurt him

the letters look almost exactly like the ones natasha gave to andrey #parallels

anatole sits at someone’s table pouting and covering his ears like a child throwing a tantrum

“amuse yourself with women like my wife” helene actually seemed a little surprised at pierre actually knowing about their relationship

it hit me during the show that the only reason that anatole is upset is because pierre is calling him names which is just so childish considering everything happening

natasha walks between them arguing and pours arsenic into her glass, chugging it and then lets out this guttural scream

she runs up and meets marya and sonya who rush her through a curtained exit

blaine can hit the petersburg note 

natasha very ill

this song is honestly just so haunting

dolokov plays guitar in the double doors

the whole stage is dimly lit and its all very ominous

pierre and andrey

andrey enters through the same doors he left during the prologue and speaks to pierre on the opposite side of the stage before they meet in the middle platform

the “well, how are you?” seems a bit comical and sarcastic

i could write essays about how much “theres a war going on” does for the story at this point

andrey acts like he doesn’t really care about the whole ordeal and like he’s already trying to distance himself from it, almost laughing at himself

“i much regret her illness” is so cold and passive aggressive that it hurts

oh and if this scene didnt hurt enough, mary is watching the entire thing

after “dont every speak of this again” he shoves pierre. hard.

when he leaves, he passes mary who smiles and tries to hug him but he just puts his hand up and walks past her before taking his place in his father’s chair and folds in on himself

natasha and pierre

i’ve been classically conditioned to cry to these piano notes no joke

natasha comes down the stairs really slowly, relying heavily on the railing to help her

pierre tries to help but she brushes him off

she’s in a white, shapeless nightgown (she only wears white through the whole show), is barefoot, and has her hair in a braid and looks like a little girl

when she starts singing its very weak

ALL 👏 SHE 👏 WANTS 👏 IS 👏 LOVE 👏 AND 👏 TO 👏 BE 👏 FORGIVEN 👏

oh and all of the ensemble members since find anatole have taken places all over the theatre and are just. sitting. watching the ending of the show. i noticed mostly courtney basset sitting cross-legged on the walkway in the orchestra

when natasha begins to cry, its not crying. it’s loud, almost primal sobbing

pierre is just so tender towards her and :’)

when pierre tell her that she can talk to him they both look confused

right before the proposal natasha is making her way up the stairs and turns back around when pierre starts talking

dave’s delivery of the proposal is So Good

he choked on the “and for your love”

the mini pierre reprise is heartwrenching

natasha made her way really slowly back up to the doors, but seems hopeful

the great comet of 1812 

ok so

the song is song in complete darkness, theres barely even a spotlight on pierre

veeeeeery slowly individual light bulbs start fading on but you cant see much

then the chandeliers start to slowly light up

but this is all super gradual and doesn’t really become notciable for a few minutes

hearing the ensemble coming in from all sides is gorgeous

then the comet prop above pierre’s study starts lowering (i think around the time its mentioned by name for the first time)

as most of the chandeliers are coming on, a tiny light on the bottom of the comet fades on and starts illuminating the larger comet

now the entire theatre is lit only by the lightbulbs, chandeliers, and the slwoly brightening comet. no table lamps, no stage lights, nothing.

as the final minute or so approaches all of the lights start to dim except for the comet until it’s the only thing remaining lit

and in 100% honesty every single one of the 1200 people in that theatre had their eyes fixed on it for the final moments of the show

then, as the song ends, the lights on the comet fade until only the tiny light on the bottom remains. pierre is collapsed in his chair looking up peacefully and the conductor raises his hands to praise it as it’s dimming until the theatre is in complete darkness

anyway this really wasnt for anyone else to read but if you made it this far? im sorry? this was a complete mess i’m still a wreck from this show

#great comet #mine

[unbearablylight]

Hi! I loved your AHS: Cult post, you summed up a lot of the thoughts I had on the wasted potential this season's premise has. I was just wondering what your thoughts were on the previous seasons? I find them to be really hit or miss in terms of tackling social themes and just storytelling overall and I would love to hear your thoughts! :)

Thank you! I liked your addendum, too; I hadn’t heard Adina Porter was coming back so I’m interested to see what she’ll add. And yeah, I agree a lot of it tends to be really hit or miss. I’m going to try to make this as brief as possible, because otherwise I could write an entire thesis on AHS and that’s probably too long for right now.

The best way to do it is to probably give my ranking of seasons and a short reasoning as to why. So, here goes:

1. Murder House

Granted it’s been a while since I’ve watched this season, but from what I remember it wasn’t really trying to be anything other than a really terrifying show. And it was great at that. The plot is sometimes a little confusing or nonexistent, but it terrifies in a way that no other season has really done to me since. There doesn’t seem to be much of a message or tie in to social themes, besides possibly Jamie Brewer playing such a large and beloved character. Ryan Murphy often has really great concepts for TV shows that then fade out over time, but since this is the first season, it was fun and exciting and something new on television.

2. Hotel

For a while, I’ve been debating whether or not Hotel beat out Asylum, but as I’m writing this I feel like it did, so I’m putting it second. This is largely based on personal opinion more than anything. Hotel felt like a rebirth for the show. It was creepy and twisted, had a decent plot and characters you could root for, and was actually scary where Coven and Freak Show hadn’t really been. I think the addition of Lady Gaga was an excellent one, and she was used just the perfect amount. I had feared she would become Jessica Lange’s replacement, and I think a lot of the downfall of Coven and Freak Show stems from too much of a focus on Lange, but Gaga was merely another member of the ensemble cast.

While I didn’t care much for Wes Bentley’s character, I loved the whole Ten Commandments murder thing (really anything that twists biblical stuff is fascinating to me for some reason). Denis O’Hare worried me at first, but I think the show did a good job at telling a heartfelt, honest story about Liz’s relationship with her son towards the later part of the season. I only wish they had cast an actual transgender actress. Again, I think what you said in your addition to the Cult post is right: AHS is better when social themes are pieces of the show, not entire concepts. This is another one that just seems to want to tell a story.

3. Asylum

The reason I rank Asylum lower is I really could not get into Sarah Paulson’s character for some reason, which sucked because she was most of the focus. I feel like I should go back and rewatch this season now that I love her as an actress, because when I originally watched it she drove me nuts. Other than that, I think it’s about equal with Hotel — decent plot (I think the story derails mostly with the aliens because, like, what?), a medium amount of scary, some good characters. Sarah playing a lesbian at first seemed out of place to me, but when it landed her in the Asylum I understood why they did it. Evan being in an interracial relationship kinda pricked me though. Ryan Murphy seems to have this weird thing for doing something mildly taboo (usually in a sort of socially forward-thinking way) and feeling edgy for it. “It’s the 60s and he’s with a black girl, gasp!” It didn’t really tie into anything with the plot, and the girl hardly appears throughout the season, so it felt like nothing more than a pat on the back for making a statement.

It does have one of the best opening credit sequences, though.

4. Roanoke

Roanoke had the benefit of being really goddamn scary a lot of the time, but the plot was an utter nightmare of writing. One show within a show was already kind of annoying, two was getting ridiculous. By the end we had like 6 and I just wanted it to be over with.

I honestly don’t remember a lot of what was going on, other than they were a bunch of idiots trapped in Murder House Part 2. I know you mentioned Adina and the racial subtext she faced throughout the season, but this would have been a lot more effective if she hadn’t been like... the actual worst. Being unfairly criminalized and vilified for killing her husband would have been far more effective if she hadn’t actually done it. I really just kind of hated her by the end and was furious she was the one that got to survive (although the very ending of the show makes it clear as to why it has to be her).

And speaking of surviving, Sarah Paulson should have walked away from all of this. She survives the entire night, only to get gunned down by a bunch of police officers. Which, just... it doesn’t make sense? She’s a white woman who appears to be in distress. If anything, I was surprised Adina wasn’t shot. It would have been terrible, but she was a black woman who already was widely disliked and who might have killed an entire house full of people (from the cops’ perspective, not knowing the truth of Roanoke). That whole scene just felt very weird and out of touch with reality to me, idk. I’m tired of seeing cops shoot first and ask questions later, so basically that scene just shouldn’t have happened at all. There are a hundred other ways Sarah could have died.

5. Freak Show

I am probably the only person I know who ranks Freak Show anywhere other than last, but I’ll get to why when I get to Coven.

It’s not good. We all know that. It wasn’t scary, the plot’s all over the place and uninteresting, and the amount of potential it had made it a real let down. It does have some saving graces, though. Murphy has experience with this sort of “god help the outcasts” narrative from Glee. Jessica Lange is a slightly more interesting character than she was in Coven, albeit they’re far too similar, Evan Peters is actually a person, and Sarah Paulson delivers one of (two of?) her best performances in my opinion.

The major downfalls: I did not care about Kathy Bates at all (tbh, I don’t think she’s had a good character yet, except maybe the Butcher). The last episode where they just shoot everyone dead was a major copout. There are far more interesting ways to end a show, or even to kill a large portion of the cast. Emma Roberts suffers the second most brutal death in AHS history, trapped in a box and sawed in half by Neil Patrick Harris. I don’t know what it is about this show, but it loves to see Emma suffer at the complete mercy of a man.

Also, it was just really boring.

6. Coven

Oh, Coven. Where to even begin with you. This post has already gotten really long so I’ll try to condense as much as I can, but just know I could probably write a novel on why Coven is The Worst. And I think at the foundation of that is the fact that a large portion (maybe even the majority?) of the fandom considers it to be the best, if not up there. Which is just really harmful.

You take a season full of really incredible actresses. Like there are a lot of them, many of them very well-known and highly acclaimed. You stick them all in a house together, in a pseudo-sorority type of situation. What you should get is one of the strongest arguments for how women can lead a show and hold their own without men.

Instead, what we got was Coven. In which every female character is poorly written, exists solely for a man, and/or is there to compete with (and often be bitchy to) the other women.

A bulleted list of further atrocities (because there are too many):

Emma Roberts suffering the most brutal death in AHS history. Watching her get choked out by Evan on that bed for like a full minute (despite the fact that she was a powerful witch who could have killed him in a nanosecond) disturbed me to no end, especially given their history.

Kathy Bates suffering from Murphy’s Law of No Character Development (patent pending). Ryan Murphy sucks at sticking to character development. Bates could have been a really powerful tool to show that ignorance often is the root of hatred, and her relationship with Gabourey Sidibe could have caused a change of heart, but one episode she was actually learning, and the next she was back to her shitty racist old self again.

Gabourey Sidibe playing the Race Card. And I don’t take that term lightly. I mean she literally said “You don’t like me ‘cause I’m black,” when a) no one had expressed any disdain to her at all (outside of Emma Roberts’ general bitching to all of them), and b) her weight probably got more comments than her race had. This line literally sounded like something written by a white dude who probably thinks reverse racism is real.

The race politics were a mess in general, tbh. Especially concerning their different uses of magic.

Lily Rabe dying??? For no reason??? Rude more than anything else.

Jessica Lange syndrome started to take over the show in this season, and this was her worst character. She shouldn’t have been so much of a focus.

The only good things to happen this season were Jessica and Angela taking out those business men (iconic, but from what I can tell — because I don’t remember exactly — the Axeman does most of the killing for them), the Coven chasing out the Axeman, and Sarah becoming the supreme (which I had unfortunately guessed like 3 episodes in, so it wasn’t that much of a mystery).

Anyways, Coven is pretty much a catalogue of the worst parts of Ryan Murphy’s writing, and there’s probably a lot I’m missing, but this is enough for now.

Sorry this is so long, yikes. But that about wraps it up I think. Honestly if you read all of this, congrats haha. And thanks for asking! I love to rant about tv (obviously).

#dandyandry