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waitimcomingtoo · 3 months

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How Do I Get You Alone?

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Synopsis: When you get stuck in the lab together during an earthquake, you and Peter share a moment but have to hide it from your dad

Masterlist

Peter was working in the robotics lab in Stark tower one day like usual. He had his earbuds in and was blasting music so loudly that he didn’t hear you come in. He happened to look up and saw you standing in the middle of the lab with a clipboard in hand. He screamed in surprise and tore his earbuds out, allowing the music to sound throughout the echoey lab.

“Were you listening to Justin Bieber?” You asked as Peter quickly paused his music.

“No.” He scoffed and flipped his phone over so you couldn’t see that he was in fact listening to Justin Bieber. You nodded your head skeptically and started to walk around the lab as you wrote things down on your clipboard. Peter sucked in a sharp breath and felt his cheeks redden as he watched you. He’d been working with Tony for 6 years now and harbored a rather large yet secret crush on you for the duration of that time. It wasn’t often that you were alone together, so he needed to make every moment count.

“What are you doing here?”Peter wondered. “I mean, not that you can’t come in here. Obviously you can. Your daddy owns the building. I mean, your dad. Unless daddy is his preferred pronoun-“

“Peter. Relax.” You cut him off. “I’m just doing a routine checkup to make sure everything in the lab is working as it should be. Ignore me.”

Peter wanted to tell you that he could never ignore you but didn’t want to freak you out with his desperation, so he tried to tell an anecdote instead.

“You know, at my last routine checkup, my doctor said that my prostate actually-“

“Don’t finish that sentence.” You pointed at him as you cut him off again.

“You’re right. Good call.” He nodded and stayed silent. You gave him a tight smile before continuing to walk around the room and check things off. Peter watched you and had a millions things he wanted to say but none of them seemed cool enough to impress you.

“So is everything up to par?” He asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Par?” You asked in confusion.

“Oh. I didn’t know you were gonna ask what that meant. I just know it’s a phrase people use. I think it’s a golf term? But it might be a volleyball term.”

“Right. Well, everything looks good.” You said and put your clipboard down on the lab table. That’s when Peters dinosaur patterned lunchbox caught your eye.

“Except for this. Is this yours?” You asked and held the lunchbox up.

“No. I’ve never seen that. Someone else must’ve left it.” Peter lied.

“The label has your name and grade written on it. And the grade just says “college”.” You pointed out and turned the lunchbox to show him.

“Someone must’ve have written that as a joke.” He mumbled and looked down.

“Hm. Well someone packed you baby carrots and hummus. Probably also as a joke.” You humored him and Peter looked up in surprise. He never saw you as anything but serious but that almost seemed like a joke.

“Yeah. Probably.” He smiled. You looked at each other for a moment and he felt the overwhelming urge to just admit how he felt about you.

“So, uh, I don’t know if you like to eat dinner or anything but-“

Peter was cut off by a loud alarm ringing through the entire building. You immediately tensed up and looked around as the lights flashed red.

“What’s that?” You asked and moved closer to Peter.

“I don’t know. It’s either the earthquake alarm or the tornado alarm.” Peter answered. Just then, the ground began to shake and your clipboard flew off the table. You looked at Peter with wide, fear filled eyes and moved to where he was.

“Definitely earthquake. Get down.” Peter instructed and ducked under the table. Once on the ground, he shot a web at each of the machines in the lab to keep them in place. You scooted beside Peter and held yourself tightly as your entire body shook with anxiety.

“What do we do?” You asked him. He’d never heard you sound so vulnerable so he put his own fear aside to be there for you.

“We’re gonna stay under the table and draw our knees in so that nothing falls and hurts us.” Peter calmly explained. You nodded many times and wrapped your arms around your knees.

“Okay.” You voice shook as you answered him.

“It’s gonna be okay. This will be over soon.” he assured you as the earth continued to shake.

“Have you ever been in an earthquake before?” You asked him.

“No. But I hear they’re not actually that bad.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“From the little voice inside my head that tells me every night that it wasn’t that embarrassing when I called the teacher “mom” that one time.” He weakly joked. You actually laughed for a second but went right back to being scared.

“That’s so embarrassing. You don’t even have a mom.” You laughed nervously. Peter had never told you that and wondered if that meant you had asked your dad about him.

“I know. And it actually happened multiple times.” He admitted.

“What? How? Wouldn’t the embarrassment of the first time make you hyper-vigilant of what you were saying so you never did it again?”

“Shh. The earth is shaking.” He said and waved his hand. You started to laugh until something fell off the table and you screamed.

“Shhh. We’re okay. You’re okay. I’m right here.” Peter said and wrapped his arm around you. He thought it might be too much but you immediately wrapped both arms around him and buried your face in his chest. He blinked in surprise before holding you tightly and keeping you as close as possible. Parts of the ceilings and things from the tables fell down and crashed onto the floor, leaving you screaming and shaking with fear each time.

“AHHH!” You screamed. “Something cold and wet just touched me.”

“It’s okay. It’s just my baby carrots.” Peter said and caught a few of the falling carrots.

“Peter.” You whined when you heard him eating them.

“I hope it knocks my hummus down too. Come on, earth. Shake my hummus onto the floor.” Peter called out.

“This isn’t funny.” You said just as Peter hummus fell in front of you.

“Holy shit.”Peter whispered. “Do you think I’m a witch?”

Before you could answer, an overheard light came crashing down in front of you and smashed against the floor, sending sparks flying everywhere. You screamed again and clung so tightly to Peter he thought he might bruise.

“Are you okay?” He whispered into your ear as he rubbed your back.

“No. The earth is spitting in half right now and we are im a very high floor of a very high tower.” You answered and he realized you were crying.

“Well when you put it like that….” He mumbled.

“I don’t know what to do.” You whimpered. “I don’t know how to get us out of here.”

“That’s okay. I don’t know what to do either. The only earthquake training I can remember is to tell someone you trust.”

“That’s not for earthquakes. And it’s different for me. I always know what to do. That’s my job.”

“Right now your job is don’t get squished.” Peter told you.

“You don’t understand. Knowing what to do the only thing I’m good at.”

“That’s not true. You’re so good at…” Peter trailed off when he realized he didn’t have any examples to give you off the top of his head.

“To be fair, I don’t really know you that well.” He said after a beat of silence.

“You’ve known me since you were 15.” You reminded him. You had pulled your head off of his chest to look him in the eyes but neither of you let go of the other.

“I know. But you’re kinda…” He trailed off again and shrugged his shoulders.

“Mean?” You said with a sad smile.

“No, no, no.” He quickly assured you. “I wasn’t gonna say mean.”

“But I am. I didn’t even say hi to you when I walked in. I never say hi to you. You’re always so nice to me and I’m always acting like I’m too cool to be nice back. I don’t know why I do that. I don’t mean it.”

“Hey, I never thought you were mean. I always thought of you as the cool, collected, stoic daughter of my boss.”

“I really thought the last word was gonna be another “c” word but you said stoic instead.” You laughed half heartedly.

“I know. I wanted to complete the trio but the only “c” word I could think of was conglomerate.” Peter admitted. You looked at him curiously and he turned red with embarrassment.

“It’s a type of rock.” He said quietly.

“Cumulonimbus.” You replied, making him smile.

“Constable.” He said back.

“Cassiopeia.”

“That too. Thats a lot of “c” words. And we didn’t even say the naughty one. We make a good team.” Peter said with a soft smile. You smiled back and realized you had never been this close to him before this moment. Your smile faded and you gulped.

“Peter, I’m really scared.” You admitted. He nodded his head and rubbed your back up and down. You had your arms around his neck and he had his around your shoulder and waist to keep you as close as possible.

“Well, don’t be. This will all be over soon and we can leave. Everything will be fine.” He assured you.

“What if it’s not? We don’t even know what’s happening outside of this room. My dad could be…” You trailed off and your eyes filled with fear again.

“Hey, it’s okay. Your dad built a metal suit when he was trapped in a cave. The earth shaking a little is not gonna stop that man. I’ve seen him swallow Tylenol with no water.”

“Thank you.” You smiled softly as a tear rolled down your face.

“For what?”

“Distracting me.”

“Oh, well, you’re welcome. And, I don’t know, it’s kinda nice.”

“What is?” You wondered.

“Talking to you. We never really get to do that.” Peter pointed out.

“Yeah. Maybe after this, we could-“

You were cut off but another light exploding and showering the room with sparks. You let out a scream and buried your face in Peter’s neck again as he wrapped his arms around you to shield you from the sparks.

“It’s okay. I got you.” He said into your ear.

“Peter, I don’t want to die.” You cried into his shirt.

“You’re not gonna die. I’m not gonna let that happen.”

“But-“

“Shhh. I would never let anything hurt you, okay? I have you. No matter what else you have in your head, I am with you and I am not going anywhere. You are going to be just fine. I’ll keep you safe. I promise.” Peter assured you as he cupped your face to make you look into his eyes. Once you processed what he had said, you pulled him by the shirt into a kiss. Peter’s eyes flew open but he quickly got over his initial shock and deepened the kiss. The room was crumbling around you but neither of you paid it any mind. You tangled your hands in his hair as you kissed him and he did the same to you. It didn’t feel like a first kiss. It felt comfortable and familiar and warm. By the time you pulled away to get some air, the earthquake had stopped.

“It stopped.” You realized.

“I love you too.” He said breathlessly.

“What?” You asked when you realized he had said something.

“I said we should get out of here and make sure everyone’s okay.” Peter quickly lied.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” You nodded and got off the floor. You helped Peter up before surveying the damage. The machines were okay but there were chunks of rubble and debris everywhere. Peter moved things out of the way with ease and never let go of your hand as he lead you out of the lab. He kept you close to his side as the two of you made your way to the living room. That’s where you found your dad and a few other team members.

“Oh, thank God you’re okay.” Tony said and let out a relieved sigh.

“I’m okay, daddy. Peter was there-“

Tony ran past you and grabbed his People’s Choice Award out of the rubble and gave it a kiss. You sighed and rolled your eyes until he noticed that everyone was looking at him.

“What? This are harder to win than an Oscar. They give those to any old hag.” Tony said in defense.

“I’m okay too, dad.” You said sarcastically.

“Oh yes. My precious angel princess baby. Are you okay?” Tony asked as he went over to give you a hug. You hugged him back for a while as Peter hung back and watched with a soft smile. You let go of Tony and wrapped your hand around Peter’s arm.

“We’re okay.” You answered.

“We?” Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. It would have been really bad for me if Peter wasn’t there. I had no idea what to do. But he pulled me under a table and kept me calm.”

“Peter did?” Tony laughed in surprise. “I’ve seen Peter scream at his own fart.”

“Hey, that was one time and I wasn’t expecting it to make a noise and I especially didn’t think it would echo like that.” Peter said in defense.

“Well I’m really grateful he was with me.” You told your dad.

“Wow. Thanks for not letting my daughter get squished, kid. I owe you one.” Tony said and proudly patted Peter on the back.

“Anytime.” Peter smiled weakly.

“Well, now that we know the most important people in the tower and possibly all of New York are okay, you should go see your aunt. She probably wants to know if you’re dead or alive right now. I mean, unless she doesn’t really care.” Tony shrugged. You made eye contact with Peter and gave him a sad smile. He nodded his head and understood what you mean, you didn’t want him to go so that you could talk about what had happed, but you couldn’t admit what happened in front of your dad.

“Right. I should go see her.” Peter said without taking his eyes off you. You kept your eyes on him as he left the building and wrapped your arms around once he was gone.

Peter had never gotten your number despite the years you had known each other but he was desperate to talk to you. The kiss was the only thing on his mind for days and it got to the point where he could no longer sleep. Tony was busy with construction to repair the damages from the earthquake so Peter couldn’t go over to see you. But to his surprise, he was sitting in his bed one day watching TV on his laptop when you appeared in his doorway.

“Hey. Your aunt let me in. And your doorman was reading a Highlights magazine so I don’t think he even saw me enter the building, so.” You said as you leaned against his wall. Peter quickly threw the covers off of himself and set his laptop down.

“Oh, hey. Come on in. I wasn’t touching my private parts or anything.” He said and immediately regretted it.

“Oh, I didn’t think you were.” You laughed awkwardly.

“Well I just didn’t want you to think that because my hands were hidden under the covers.” He tried to explain himself but there was no coming back from that.

“I wasn’t thinking that but now that you mention it I kinda think that is what you were doing.” You said out of the corner of your mouth.

“Psh. I wasn’t.” He scoffed and pushed his laptop away.

“Show me your laptop then.” You shrugged. Peter turned red and he handed him laptop over to you.

“Oh. The episode of Glee where they all switch characters. Nice.” You nodded when you saw what was last opened on his screen.

“Thank you.” He said sincerely.

“Weird thing to jack off too, though.” You shrugged as you sat down on his bed.

“No, I wasn’t-“ Peter quickly tried to explain himself until he realized you were just joking. He smiled shyly and shut the laptop to give you his full attention.

“So, I wanted to talk about the other day.” You began.

“The other day? Could you be more specific? I’ve been alive for a long time.” Peter played dumb and scratched his head.

“The day when there was an earthquake. And we kissed. And you peed your pants.”

“That pee was there when we got to the lab. I just happened to sit it in.” Peter insisted.

“Right.” You chuckled. “I wanted to talk about the kiss though. If that’s okay.”

There was a long, long pause between the two of you and Peter contemplated his next move. The kiss was all he was able to think about since it happened but he didn’t want to make it seem like he was desperate. You were staring into his eyes, hopeful for a certain response, but he was too stupid to give the right one.

“What kiss?” He said finally.

“Okay. This was a mistake. I’m gonna go.” You sighed and got off his bed.

“Wait.” Peter caught your hand and pulled you back towards him.

“Is that your jacking off hand?” You asked and pulled away from him.

“No. I wasn’t - never mind.” He whined. “My hands are clean. Just sit down.”

You rolled your eyes a little but sat back down on his bed.

“I also wanted to talk about the kiss. I’m just extremely nervous and constantly uncomfortable.” He admitted to you.

“I mean, same. So let’s make this as quick and painless as possible. All I wanted to say is that I think we should keep it between us. The kiss, I mean. We shouldn’t tell anyone.” You said and Peters world crumbled down.

“Oh.” He squeaked out. He was disappointed but you had an unreadable look on your face so he decided to play it neutral.

“So I should cancel the little banner and sea plane I hired to fly over the tower to announce our kiss to the pedestrians below?” He asked, making you smile in relief.

“Yes. I would appreciate that.” You chuckled.

“Will do.”

“Cool. So let’s just agree to keep this our secret.” You repeated and he nodded while avoiding eye contact with you. You stared at him for a minute and felt guilty for making him upset. You decided that he deserved to know the truth about that day.

“But, uh, that’s not the only reason I came over. I had a lot of things I wanted to say to you the day of the earthquake but with everything going on I wasn’t able to get you alone.” You continued, making Peter’s hope come back.

“Oh? What did you have to say?” He asked. You took a deep breath before looking into his eyes.

“Peter, when I kissed you-“

Just then, Ned came into Peter’s room for the planned hangout that Peter had entirely forgotten about. Your sentence stopped abruptly and Peter sighed in frustration.

“Hey Peter. I think your doorman is in diabetic shock again. I just walked right by him and he didn’t even move.” Ned said.

“We kissed during the earthquake.” Peter blurted and you threw your hands up in exasperation.

“Why would you say that? I just said we’re not telling anyone.”

“I’m sorry! He’s my best friend.” Peter explained before covering his mouth with his hand to keep from blurting anything else.

“No way. You guys kissed? So does that mean you’re like together now or no?” Ned asked and touched his two pointer fingers together.

“Well, we haven’t really talked about-“ You began.

“No. We’re not together.” Peter said with a tight smile.

“Got it. Friends with benefits. Nice.” Ned nodded.

“What? No. We’re not that either.” Peter laughed in embarrassment as his face turned red.

“Yeah, no one said anything about that. We’re barely even friends.” You added.

“Barely even friends but you made out? While the earth was shaking? What would Greta Thunberg say?” Ned asked and put his hands on his hips.

“It wasn’t making out, really.” You lied. “It was like a tiny little peck on the lips. It was nothing. Right, Peter?”

“Oh, yeah. Thats so right. We barely even kissed.” Peter added to your lie as he wondered why you were downplaying it so much.

“Excatly. It was no big deal. We were both just scared and panicked so we kissed a little bit. It happens. But it didn’t mean anything.” You replied, making Peter freeze. He had spent so long thinking about the kiss only for you to say to his face that it meant nothing.

“Yeah. It meant nothing.” He said and looked down at his lap. You picked up on the sadness in his voice and looked over at him.

“Right.” You said weakly.

“Less than nothing.” Peter added and rubbed the back of his neck. You sighed and realized you had absolutely messed that up.

“I don’t know. I was really scared too but I did not try to french the lady I was hiding with in the TJ Maxx I was in.” Ned replied.

“You went to TJ Maxx without me?” Peter gasped.

“You know I’m a bigger maxxonista than you are. I can’t stay away.” Ned whispered harshly.

“The earth was crumbling. You could have died there.” You pointed out.

“There’s no place I’d rather spend my final moments in.” Ned shrugged.

“Anyways.” You interrupted. “I should get going. Uh, thanks, Peter. For what we talked about.”

“Yeah. No problem.” Peter smiled sadly.

“So what exactly did you guys talk about?” Ned asked suspiciously.

“Nothing. She just needed help with the Wordle.” Peter lied and you smiled in appreciation at him.

“And she came all the way here to ask? Damn, girl. How hot was that kiss? I’m genuinely asking. I’ve always said Peter and I should kiss just to know what the other is working with but he always says no.” Ned told you.

“You know what? I think you guys should do it. It’ll bring you closer as friends.” You told them.

“See, Peter? She gets it. Now pucker up.” Ned said and closed his eyes as he leaned in.

“No. I’m not kissing you. Not with those chapped lips.” Peter backed up. Ned gasped and touched his fingertips to his lips.

“Okay. Well, bye guys.” You smiled awkwardly and got off Peter’s bed. You were about to leave when Ned spoke up again.

“What was it?” He asked you.

“What?” You asked.

“The Wordle. I really want to get it right on the first try just once and really impress the people at The New York Times.” Ned explained.

“Oh, uh…” You trailed off and looked to Peter for help.

“Heavy.” Peter said quickly.

“Right. It was “heavy”. Now you know. So I’m gonna head out. Bye, Peter.” You waved to him.

“Bye.” He waved and felt that same sadness from the day of the kiss return.

“Bye, Ned.”

“Bye, sweetie.” Ned gave you a big smile before you left the room.

“You dirty fucking liar.” Ned said once you were gone.

“What?”

“That’s not today’s Wordle. That was days ago. You lied. What are you hiding?” Ned asked.

“Nothing. She was just asking me not to tell anyone about the kiss.”

“If it was no big deal then why would she care?”

“Because it was a big deal!” Peter admitted. “It was the hugest deal. She had her hands all up in my hair and I had my hands all up in her sweater but over her undershirt because I’m a gentleman. We were going at it so hard, we didn’t even notice the earthquake stopped.”

“Oh my God.” Ned gasped. “That stuff never happens at TJ Maxx.”

“I know!” Peter jumped in excitement.

“You have to tell me everything. Who kissed who?”

“She kissed me. And unbuttoned three of my shirt buttons.” Peter said and held up three fingers.

“Woah. Three? Isn’t that moving kinda fast?”

“I don’t care. It was the greatest moment of my life. But I also thought it was gonna be the last moment of my life so I don’t know if that had any impact.”

“I doubt it.” Ned shrugged. “But what happens now?”

“I don’t know. We were talking about it but then you came in so we never got to finish. And I thought we were both into it but then she said all that stuff about it not being a big deal so now I don’t know where we stand. What do I do?”

“You need to finish the conversation. If you don’t, this kiss will just be a one time thing and you’ll never know what it meant to her or what it could have become. You need to find out how she felt about it before too much time passes.”

“I don’t know. What if she doesn’t want to talk about it because she’s embarrassed that it happened? Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to tell anyone.”

“Or maybe she faked the earthquake just to kiss you.” Ned suggested.

“That’s probably it, yeah.” Peter said sarcastically.

“Whatever the reason is, you need to talk to her. And soon.”

“You’re right.” Peter nodded and a silence feel between the boys as Peter thought everything over.

“Should we go to TJ Maxx?” Ned asked after a beat of silence.

“Well, yes.”

Peter didn’t hear from you for a while after that. He wasn’t allowed back at the tower until the reconstruction was complete so he couldn’t even go see you. He still wasn’t sleeping because now he couldn’t stop wondering about your last conversation. Not only had you downplayed the kiss, you also asked Peter not to tell anyone. That left him thinking that you regretted it and it didn’t mean anything to you despite how much it meant to Peter. After two weeks of hearing nothing, Peter got a text from Tony that the tower was open again and he could come back. Peter went over right away to see what Tony had done with the place and much to his surprise, you were there too.

“Oh. Hi.” You blinked in surprise when Peter walked into the main room of the tower.

“Hey.” Peter nodded curtly. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

“Neither was I. Dad? I thought we weren’t letting anyone in until all your Kids Choice awards were back-“

“I never said that.” Tony cut you off. “Never, ever said that. I invited Peter over to thank him for saving all my precious technology. Those webs were the only thing that kept all my billion dollar machines from smashing into tiny little expensive pieces.”

“It was no problem, sir. It’s my job to protect what’s yours.” Peter said without taking his eyes off you. You felt your face heat up and looked down.

“Okay. Weird way to phrase that.” Tony commented. “I also wanted to invite you to dinner tonight. The dining room is fully remodeled and I was gonna have family dinner tonight with all my girls. And you’re my honorary girl so I thought I’d invite you as well. What do you say, kid?”

“Oh, I don’t think he wants to do that.” You said and looked at Peter. He was thinking the same thing; if he came over for dinner, there was a 99% chance the news of the kiss would slip out and Tony would reign hell fire onto Peter.

“Yeah, that’s okay. I appreciate the invitation but my aunt is already cooking something.”

“Oh God. Your aunt is cooking? Then you simply have to come over. I’ve tasted her food. No one should be subjected to that. You’ve been through enough. Please, eat here.” Tony insisted. Peter looked to you for help and you shrugged in defeat.

“Okay. Sure. Thanks. I’ll eat dinner with your daughters and wife. Nothing weird is going to happen if I do that.” Peter nodded stiffly.

“Again, weird way to phrase that. But I’ll see you at 7. Sound good?” Tony asked. Peter looked at you again and you nodded your head.

“Yeah.” Peter sighed. “Sounds good.”

Part two

Tag List 🏷️

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@tom-hollands-wifey

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@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep @white-wolf1940

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1K notes · View notes

merlucide · 14 days

Text

BLLK BOYS “ICKS”

notes: no way… is merlucide actually doing smth other than shitposts and reblogging?! Tryna get back into the swing ig 🥲🙏

characters: Rin, Reo, Bachira, Oliver, Sendou, Kaiser, Otoya

warnings: none? // pls don’t take this seriously okay 💀

PT1 PT2

ITOSHI RIN

HE LITERALLY IS “I’m not like other girls”

In the summer he exclusively wears Flipflops

he scoffs at minor inconveniences

MIKAGE REO

If someone mispronounces his name he quickly corrects them “Its actually-“

He swirls his drink around like its wine (it’s a school milk carton)

BACHIRA MEGURU

so oblivious to how he eats- like food all over his face.

doesn’t wear socks with his slides

forgets to put on deodorant

AIKU OLIVER

he literally is “Ah noo don’t kill yourself you’re too sexy aha”

Licks/bites his lips sm.

he’s kinda like those TikTok pick me boys

If a woman gets mad at him he’ll go “Jeez didn’t know you were on your period”

SENDOU SHUTO

puts chapstick on in a circle 😭

If there’s ever a dance circle he’s on the outside trying to get in but missing his chance every time

eats ice cream with a fork

KAISER MICHEAL

when he bumps into walls he hits them ‘back’ (me too, me too)

sleeps with socks on

coughs into his fist

has one playlist

OTOYA EITA

When only wears baseball hats backwards. You don’t look cool Otoya.

Calls women females (same for Oliver)

Sleeps with only one pillow

Owns at least two “I love MILF’s” shirts

Refers to himself as “The Rizzler”

Says “fire” and “cap”

He Justin Bieber poses.

Doesn’t know how to properly eat spaghetti (TWIST THE FRICKING FORK?!)

Reeks of Axe body spray

Identifies as a Top G.

Does 3 in 1 body shampoo/conditioner/body wash

Says “Yeet”

Chugs his water and releases the most overdramatic “AH”

Whenever a girl rejects him he says stuff like “You should be glad Im even considering dating you” or “You’re ugly anyway”

Has a “Saturday is for the boys” flag in his room

Thinks women are hairless

Says “Gyatt”

Doesn’t tip

He is those boys in school that swear they aren’t gay

IM GONNA TRY TO BE MOTIVATED NOW..!

made May 17th 2024

478 notes · View notes

muwapsturniolo · 5 months

Text

✯Humming Bird✯

Summary: Y/N has a crush on Chris but falls back when she notices the feelings aren't really reciprocated.

Warnings: none really, small angst.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Y/N and Chris have always had a weird relationship.

They were friends, but Y/N had this huge crush on him, and he knew it. It's hard to miss when the girl is doing everything in her power to get you to notice her.

She's always holding his hand, hugging him, kissing his cheek when she feels it is appropriate, buying him gifts, and cooking for him and his brothers.

It was clear as day she had a crush on the youngest Sturniolo.

However, Chris thought it was annoying.

He saw her as a pest, an annoying pest that he couldn't get rid of. She was always there hugging him, kissing him, acting like a girlfriend.

He hated it.

Not completely though.

You see, Chris had a hard time showing and accepting affection from people who weren't his family. It made him feel weird so he resulted in acting like an asshole.

He would gently push the girl away when she would hug him, wipe her sparkly lipgloss off his face, he would even go as far as avoiding her completely.

But he also returned the acts in his own way.

If he knew she was coming over to film a video, he would make Nick DoorDash her favorite candy. If he knew Y/N was coming to cook dinner like she did every weekend for the triplets, he would clean the kitchen for her. One time she lost her favorite Lipgloss and Chris went into a beauty supply store to find it (he was so confused and overwhelmed when all the aunties were looking at him crazy).

Small acts of affection were his forte.

Y/N didn't know this though.

All she saw was the annoyance on his face when she would come around or be clingy, so she fell back from him. No more hugs, kisses, gifts, none of it. The only thing she kept doing was cooking for the boys because a diet of McDonald's and pizza was not healthy.

It took him a while (a month) to notice the bubbly girl stopped being so bubbly towards him. He found himself missing her hugs that left a sweet cherry scent on his clothes, he missed the sparkly gloss that would be left on his cheek. and most of all,

He missed the affection.

He didn't realize how good he had it. He had a whole girl who looked at him like he was the whole world, and he didn't appreciate her to the full extent.

It wasn't until they all attended a party, he snapped.

Y/N was dressed in a pair of black flared jeans, a crop top with a random design, and her curls were out in their natural state. She looked good.

However, she was in a corner holding a drink, talking to a guy with a huge smile on her face. "Nick who is that dude Y/N is talking to?" Chris found himself asking. He didn't like how close they were.

He swore he could see hints of her sparkly lipgloss on the guy's cheek.

"I think that's the guy she's been talking to for the last month. Justin is his name? I think, but I'm not too sure." Chris never turned his head so fast.

"What?! She's talking to someone?"

Nick nods, "Yeah for like a month. He's taken her on multiple dates, given her flowers, the full thing."

Chris is beyond confused by this information.

"I thought she liked me."

All Nick can do is give Chris a dirty look.

"Are you being serious? Chris you literally woul-you know what? I'm not getting into this." Nick throws his hands up and walks away.

All Chris can do is stare at Y/N flirting with this guy the whole night.

Everything she would do with Chris, she was doing with Justin.

Chris felt sick to his stomach.

"You like her don't you?" Matt asks as he walks up to Chris. He's been watching his brother the whole night and he could see the hurt on his face.

"It was only a matter of time," Matt thinks to himself.

"What? No!" He tries to play it off.

"That's how you lost her-" Chris looks at Matt in confusion. "You would act like you didn't like her and you pushed her away. Now that she has someone else, you wish it was you."

Chris cant even be mad at Matt's words because he's right.

He does wish it was him.

When he looks back over at the girl, he sees she's now alone.

Without a word to Matt, he walks over to her, adrenaline at an all-time high.

He leans down and whispers in her ear, "Can we talk, please?"

Y/N feels her whole body heat up as Chris proceeds to be in her personal space. All she can do is nod, and let Chris guides her to the back patio.

"What did you want to ta-Why are you talking to Justin?" Y/N is stunned by Chris cutting her off. "Because I can?"

"So you just drop me and start talking to other guys?" Chris scoffs.

It's clear as day he didn't think anything through, he just went straight into attack mode.

Y/N frowns at Chris. She was never the one to argue or fight people, especially her friends. "Chris, you can't be mad I decided to stop being thirsty over you and moved on. I tried for the longest to get you to notice and like me but you never reciprocated... it's not fair for you to be mad at me for that."

Chris sighs to himself, she was right. it's not fair for him to be like this.

"I did reciprocate though...."

Now it's Y/N's turn to be on attack mode, "when? when you would push me away? When you would roll your eyes at me? Was it when you stopped coming out of your room when I would come over? Oh, I know how about when I caught you calling me annoying and clingy?"

Chris flinches hearing her words, He never meant for her to hear those words.

"I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that. " Chris finally looks at her.

"I don't know how to show my feelings, let alone allow myself to show affection to anyone who isn't my family...I did try to reciprocate though, it may not have been noticeable but I did."

Y/N stares at him with now soft eyes.

Chris wasn't the type to show emotion. So the fact that he is now, she wants him to know she's listening.

"I would make Nick get your favorite snack when you came over, I would clean the kitchen when you came to cook. When you lost your favorite lipgloss I went to that beauty supply store you love and bought a whole case so you would always have some when you came over... "

Y/N feels her heart swell.

She never knew Chris did those things. Nick told her he was the one who got the snacks and cleaned the kitchen, Matt also told her he found her lipgloss at a random store.

She never knew it was all Chris.

"I just... I didn't notice how much I liked you until you fell back. Seeing you with that bozo made me realize I have feelings for you and I don't want to see you with anyone else."

Chris feels like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. He finally admitted he had a crush on someone.

"He's not a bozo..." Y/N mumbles with a small smile. Chris gives her a look.

"kid came to a party in a dolphin jersey and khakis. He's not your type nor can he dress." they laugh for a few seconds before calming down.

Y/N finds herself looking at Chris, "What is my type then?"

Chris turns and looks at the girl, "Hopefully it's someone who can dress well and may be a bit of an asshole, but still shows he cares by small acts of affection." he lets his hand grab hers.

Y/N looks down at their intertwined hands and finds herself smiling.

"That does sound like my type."

Now it's Chris's turn to smile.

"I like you Chris...a lot."

" I like you too...a whole lot"

They stand there, holding hands. Y/N gently rubbing her thumb over his fingers.

"Give me a chance. I may be an asshole at times but I promise i'll do better and actually appreciate you the way you deserve." Y/N looks up at Chris.

"You really went into a beauty supply store for me?"

"Yeah."

"Were you dressed like a bum?"

chris laughs a bit.

"I was in my sweats, a tank, and slides."

"Did the ladies stare at you like you were crazy?"

"Yeah. I was scared they were going to yell at me like your mom did when I sat on her nice couch."

They laugh and Chris finds himself wrapping his hands around her waist.

"I think I could give you a chance after that."

Chris can't help but smile as he looks down at her, "yeah?" He slowly leans in.

"yeah," Y/N confirms, also leaning in.

both of them close their eyes as they share a soft, passionate kiss.

When they pull away, they see the smile on each other's faces.

"I like the cherry lipgloss." Y/N giggles and mumbles for him to shut up.

"Come on, let's go back inside."

Chris guides them inside and back to their friends. "Yo where have you guys been?" Nate asks.

Chris puts his hands on Y/N's waist, and rests his head on hers,

"finally getting my girl"

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

I TOOK LIKE TWO DAYS TO WRITE THIS AND I LOVE IT BUT HATE IT LMAO. I ONLY GOT THIS IDEA BECAUSE I WAS WATCHING PUCCA AND I SAW HER RELATIONSHIP WITH GYRU.

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #chris girl #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #matt girl #chris sturniolo fluff #fluff #sturniolo fluff

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alyswritings · 9 days

Text

Car Video

Request: Hiii can I request sturniolo triplets x sister reader she is like 5 or 6 they are doing a car video they asked her questions and they asked who is her favorite triplets is and she says matt and then Chris says a bad word the reader repeat it thank you love your page

Sturniolo Triplets x sister!reader

Summary: Y/N is in a car video with her brothers.

Warnings: none.

a/n: thanks for the request! hope you all enjoy!

(gif not mine)

Matt pulls into the parking spot in the fairly deserted parking lot and he puts the car in park.

Chris deals with setting up the camera while Matt passes out the food they got.

"Okay. You ready?" Nick asks his baby sister.

"Uh-huh." She vigorously nods, stuffing a whole chicken nugget in her mouth.

"Hey, be careful before you choke." Matt warns, earning a nod from the girl.

"'Kay. We're recording." Chris says, putting the camera up on the dashboard. Matt gets out to check if it's in focus, getting back in once he looks.

"All right. Hey, guys. Today, we have a very special guest for the car video. We have, our little sister, Y/N." Nick introduces, motioning to the girl.

"Hi." The five year old waves and grins at the camera, earning soft laughs from her three brothers.

"We've done this type of video before with our parents and with Justin where we ask them questions and that's what we're gonna be doing with Y/N/N." Nick explains.

"Be honest, munchkin." Chris warns making her nod.

"Okay. We can start off easy. What's your favorite color?" Matt asks, scrolling through his phone.

"Dark purple." Y/N answers. "But sometimes green. Orange is fun, too."

"Okay, so three favorite colors, got it." Nick says.

"What's your favorite movie?" Chris asks.

"Tangled." The girl immediately lights up at the thought of the animated movie. "Mommy won't let me get a chameleon or a horse." She pouts.

"Maybe when you're older." Nick lightly pats her on the head. "Who's your best friend?"

"Natalie." Y/N grins. "We play Barbies and dress up and she has a doggy, too. He's really big."

"Bigger than you?" Chris asks and the girl nods.

"Oh, yeah? What's his name?" Matt asks.

"Cheerio." Y/N answers. "She said her sister named him when she was a little kid and they got him as a puppy."

"Okay, here's a good one." Chris smiles. "Who's your favorite brother?"

"Matty." Y/N answers with almost no hesitation.

"What?!" Chris exclaims.

"Wha--" Nick frowns at her.

"All right!" Matt grins, reaching back and giving her a high five.

"That's so mean." Nick scoffs.

"What do you mean it's Matt?" Chris asks.

"You asked." The five year old shrugs, not seeing the issue.

"Why does he get to be the favorite?" Nick asks.

"Cause he always says yes when I ask him to play and he lets me sleep in his bed when I get bad dreams. And he takes me to get ice cream." Y/N explains.

"We let you sleep in our beds." Nick says. "We bring home ice cream. We play with you."

"You two say no a lot more than him. Plus, he's the best at play pretend." Y/N pouts. "And I like car rides. You don't take me on car rides."

"All right." Chris rolls his eyes. "We get it. Matt's the favorite."

"Yeah, moving on." Nick says.

They continue to ask her questions, Y/N going into random rambles at times.

"Fuck!" Chris hisses when his knee hits the dashboard.

"Chris!" His brothers scold as Y/N giggles.

"What?" He asks.

"5 year old present, you idiot." Matt smacks him in the arm.

"You want some more fries?" Nick asks, holding the carton out to his sister, distracting her from the two arguing up front. Y/N nods, grabbing a few of the fries and starting to eat them.

Y/N gasps as the fries fall out of her hold and onto the floor.

"Fuck!" She cries out.

"Chris!" Matt scolds.

"Shit." Nick whispers, rubbing his face.

"Whoops." Chris mumbles, struggling not to laugh.

"Mom's gonna kill you." Nick says. He glances down as Y/N leans over to the cupholder to take a sip of her drink. He puts the fries in the other cupholder, giving her easy access to them.

"Y/N, you can't say that word." Matt tells her.

"Why?" She frowns. "Chrissy said it."

"It's an adult word. You're not an adult." Nick tells her.

"That's stupid." She grumbles, slouching in her seat and crossing her arms over a chest, pouting. The triplets quietly laugh, trying to hold it in so they don't upset her.

"Trust me, kid, you don't wanna grow up too fast." Chris tells her.

"Whatever." She huffs.

Taglist: @glxwingrxse @venomsvl @wildieflower @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @mrvlxgrl @star-wars-lover @champomiel

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nick sturniolo x sister reader #chris sturniolo x sister reader #matt sturniolo x sister reader #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo triplets x sister reader

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burstfoot · 7 months

Text

Your name is Kristen Wright. You’re barely 10. You’re at the outdoor funeral for your parents, a pair of genius scientists that Terra will never see again. You’ve spent the last two weeks giving false smiles to women and men who pretend to grieve them while spending every moment they think you’re not looking lauding them for their ‘foolishness’ and ‘hubris’. Sitting amongst a crowd of these intellectuals, your feel nothing looking at their crocodile tears, knowing they’re just happy there’s less competition for next year’s grants. Your new guardian grabs onto your hand in an attempt to grant you a modicum of comfort. You stare blankly at the sky above.

You’ve never felt so alone. You don’t think this feeling will ever go away.

Your name is Joyce Moore. You can hardly communicate anymore. Your best friend killed herself trying to replicate the experiment that gave you permanent brain damage. Every scientist at Rhine Lab now treats you like a child at best, and an animal at worst. Your parents have not come to see you. None of your colleagues seem to understand that you are still you, with a sense of humour, good taste in TV shows, and fucking feelings, god damn it.

You’ve never felt so alone. You don’t think this feeling will ever go away.

Your name is Ferdinand Clooney. You’ve lost everything you’ve ever worked for in a futile grab for power. The department of defense has you by the dick after saving you from a group of Pioneers who (justifiably) nearly beat you half to death. It’s playing fiddle to their whims or the rest of your life in prison - or, most realistically, a tragic accident report. Your aspirations aren’t within your reach anymore, and you know that it’s your fault. You will never be Kristen Wright, and it’s eating you alive.

You’ve never felt so alone. You don’t think this feeling will ever go away.

Your name is Parvis Ahrens. You’re not that old. You’re only 58. But you’re losing your mind. Every day, a little more slips away. You rely more and more on encyclopedic entries for information you took immense pride in knowing from your heart. You’ve spent the last few years focused on the pursuit of progress of all else. As part of this, you manipulated your star pupil in an attempt to permanently get her under your wing, outside of the influence of the Defense Director, a weak-hearted woman everyone else seems to think is cold as ice. She has years of life to change Columbian science. You don’t.

You’ve never felt so alone. You don’t think this feeling will ever go away.

Your name is Jara B. Wilson. You feel like you don’t see the girl who lived for you with so long in Kristen anymore. You’re a washed-up movie star, working for her cause above all else. Do you have anything that you’re working for for yourself anymore? She’ll be gone soon. You know that.

She hasn’t even left yet, and you’ve never felt so alone. You don’t think this feeling will ever go away once she leaves.

Your name is Nasti Londrey. Your people have never had a home. They might never have a home.

You’ve always felt alone. You will always be alone. That’s fine.

Your name is Justin Fitzroy Jr. Your dad died a week ago, and the cure has just been found for the hereditary illness that threatens to cut your lifespan in half. It was found by accident.

The sword of Damacles no longer hangs above your neck. Why then, do you still feel so alone?

Your name is Loken Williams. You reach out to a girl you tortured, who you know can’t remember what you did to her, because you��re going to die soon, and you need someone to remember what you did with your life.

Even if she kills you, at least you won’t die alone.

Your name is Trevor Friston. It’s been thousands of years down here. You just want to see your daughter again, and it will be another thousand until you do.

You’re very familiar with the loneliness that wraps around every single nanometer of your circuit board.

Your name is Dorothy Franks. Your whole family was killed in a Catastrophe. Your name is Elena Urbica. Your whole family, besides your twin sister, has disowned you. Your drive yourself head-first into the sciences to distract yourself from the loneliness.

Your name is Ho’olheyak. Centuries of ancestral memories swarm around your mind. Because of this, your lifespan was cut to a fraction of the life you should be living. You are obsessed with the history of your people, and you resent them from tearing your life away from you. You tear over books and tomes of history to find all means of unspeakable knowledge, hoping that somewhere in there you’ll find something that you can connect to.

You don’t even know you’re lonely.

Your name is Muelsyse.

You saw the writing on the wall. Saria and Kristen just had a massive fight. You’ve been drifting apart since college, but the only two people who you’ve felt a real connection to on all of Terra will hardly speak to each other anymore. Do you try and mend what happened between them? Can you? You don’t know what to do besides take all means to protect yourself in the fallout. You wish you weren’t so paranoid, so self-centered, that all you know how to do is ensure your own safety.

Is there anything on Terra for you besides loneliness?

Your name is Ifrit. It’s cold, and quiet, and you’re pretty sure you’ve killed everyone around you. Your eyes are blurred, you hands are shaky, and shards of black crystal stick out all over your body. Before you pass out, you think one thing:

Hell, you might be alone, but at least those bastard whitecoats got what was coming to them.

Your name is Olivia Silence. You pull yourself out of the rubble in a destroyed laboratory, where you see Saria looming over Ifrit, beaten half-to-death. You beat yourself up for thinking you could trust her - that she was there to protect Ifrit, and you. You can’t trust anyone in Columbia. You run to embrace Ifrit with your entire body, to protect her from the cold eyes of Saria standing above her. You look back at her with nothing but fear in your eyes.

You’ve never felt so alone. You have to get Ifrit out of Rhine.

Your name is Saria. You’re barely 8 years old. You went your father in tears, as a group of bullies came after you and destroyed your toy car. He tells you to stop crying. You’re not accomplishing anything by throwing a fit in front of him. He tells you to fight back - take responsibility for your weakness.

You’ve never felt so alone.

You won’t ever be this weak again.

Staring up at the sky, looking up as Kristen’s ark sends her out through the hole she tore in the false sky, you know that you were foolish to believe you could bypass your own weakness through sheer will.

And you’ll be lonely for the rest of your life without her.

#arknights #fic #(i suppose. this is moreso like. an appreciation post in prose form)#arknights spoilers #lone trail spoilers #lone trail #your name is Mayer Stony. honestly you’re doing completely fine

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starzioo · 1 month

Text

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐄. 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐓.

This is a Theo fic where you are a VS SUPERMODEL. During one of your shows you see a very handsome man. I think we can guess who said man is.

5.1k words.

WARNINGS: NONE

It was 2006 and you were in the heat of the Victoria's Secret angel show era. You were a high grade model. you had been modeling with Victoria's Secret for 3 years now and you had already made a big impact on the fashion industry. While doing business with VS you had also done shows with GUESS and Tommy Hilfiger. You also did catalogue with JUICY and many other hot brands. This was the start of your career and you made it big. Your face was all over the world along with Adriana Lima, Heidi Klum, Gisele, and even Tyra Banks. You were the it girl.

You sit legs crossed in your silk baby pink VS robe. Sitting in the stylists chair you had 3 different stylists were getting you ready. Two were curling your hair into the iconic VS blowout, while the other worked on your eyeshadow making sure the gold shimmer was nothing short of perfect. Backstage was always hectic, dozens of stylists and crew running around making sure the girls were on track and most importantly on time. It was hard to not get nervous during these times but you always knew how to keep your cool. While you weren't opening the show you were going to be the 3rd girl that walked out. 3rd? And not only that Justin Timberlake was going to be preforming for the show. I mean come on Justin Timberlake? Everything had to be perfect.

You had been shown the lingerie you were going to be wearing tonight, you had 4 pieces total. And every single one was tailored perfect to your body. Although you had worn the pieces during the rehearsals, tonight was the night. You could hear the crowd of people bustling outside, even over the noise of all the girls laughing and conversing while getting ready. You take a deep breath. "Is Y/n set to go? She has 10 minutes." A crew member asked the stylist working on your hair. "Uhh, she needs to go to outfits still. We'll get her there asap!" She says hairspraying your hair into oblivion. "Okay -she scans the clip board in her hands- make sure she gets there Gisele and Heidi are already changed and on there marks." She sighs and rushes away to the other girls. This is the moment when you can feel your heartbeat all throughout your body. This happens every show it's the adrenaline rush. The knowing that there's hundreds of people out in the crowd. The knowing that this show is broadcasted to millions of people global. "Okayyy, open your eyes! What'd ya thinkkk?" The makeup artist says finally pulling the soft brush away from your eyelid. You open your eyes. There was a soft brown shadow on the outer part of the crease that blended into a light gold shimmer that added as highlight to your inner corner. She did a natural eyeliner with small falsies. It made your eyes pop. The base of your makeup was natural but yet gave a glow to your face. Your hair was perfect aswell the curls accentuated and framed your face in every right way. Everything was absolutely beautiful. "Ahhh! Thank you! It's perfect as always, I need to rush to costumes now!" You say giving your makeup artist and hairstylist a quick hug. "Thank you byee!" You said quickly as you ran off to go find your outfit coordinator.

"I'm here!!" You say frantically as you run behind the curtains to the dressing rooms. "Finally, I swear we were about to send S.W.A.T for you! -She takes your hand and takes you to a dressing room that has

'Y/N Y/L/N' printed on a gold name plate on the door.- Ok, here's your opening outfit. -She hands you your first piece of lingerie- Holler if you need help with the bra!" She says as she walks out of the small room. "I have your wings out here when you're done!" She yells from outside. "Okay!" Although it was never your fault, things always seemed to go this way with every show. You were always running late. Whether it was a wardrobe malfunction or a burn with the curling iron, it was always something.

THEO:

It had been an on going tradition with the boys and Pansy to go see the VS fashion shows. I mean who didn't wanna see dozens of goddesses walking up and down a runway in lingerie? Me, Draco, Blaise, and Pansy are all walking through the VIP access to get to our seats. Every year without fail we had front row seats to the shows. Front row usually consisted of celebrities and important people from the fashion industry but when you have as much money as we do, we fit right in. Tonight me and the group were wearing all black Ralph Lauren, except for Pansy she was wearing Versace from the dress to the shoe. She opted for the Medusa '95 Midi Dress with the matching pumps, she wore her short chic hair tucked behind her ears. She looked absolutely stunning. If she didn't swing the other way I would've probably tried snagging her up myself. I wore an obsidian black tuxedo jacket with the matching tux pants, underneath I wore a black turtle neck long sleeve. My shoes were black aswell shined to absolute perfection. Blaise and Draco wore almost the same but a different variation of the shirts and pants. When we went anywhere publicized or not we came in outfits that were made to impress. Although our choices weren't as flashy or branded as others our style choices showed our money. Only if you paid attention to fashion would you know that this simple cashmere turtle neck costed $1,000. Or that Pansy's dress and heels total were $3,000. Or even Draco's rings that costed more than an apartment in Manhattan. Our style choices tonight were nothing short of perfection.

We finally take our seats we are sat close to the end of the runway. It had the best view from our experience. And you also got to see the girls more up close. You could see every laced detail and every diamond on their stunning lingerie pieces. Although we had all originally started coming as a joke we started taking these shows as a chance to get publicity. About 2 years ago Pansy had made friends with one of the models at an after party and the next day they were seen on Hollywood boulevard shopping and they ended up getting hit with paparazzi. Pansy and Karolina were on the cover of Teen-Vogue, STAR US, and were posted all over countless TMZ gossip blogs. That's when we realized how much publicity we could get just from being here. That's also when we decided to buy VIP tickets to the shows. The paparazzi tended to pay much more attention to the VIP entrances hoping to get shots of celebrities entering in and out of the venue. I mean if you acted important the paparazzi seemed to think that you were important. We had gotten pictures of us taken and posted on page 6. of STAR US captioned, 'Seen at the Victoria's Secret Angel Show last night these mystery guests have appeared yet again! Wearing only luxury designers, who could these people be? Their outfits all together cost more than my mortgage! Girls across America have been on the hunt to find these handsome boys. Mysterious and totally gorgeous? Count me in on the search!' The amount of publicity was insane and even now seated from row we have the paparazzi taken pictures of us every now and then. As we all converse with eachother about the show the lights in the venue begin to dim, the crowd goes silent.

Y/N:

You stood in line on your mark behind Gisele and another angel. Your nerves were crazy. Stylist swarmed the line of girls getting every last flyaway slicked, making sure every heel was clasped, fluffing all wings. You nervously shook your hands taking a breath.

"10, -The backstage manager yelled- 9," "Ok girls! Keep on beat! AND KEEP THE CROWD ENTERTAINED!" Not only were you girls there to model you were there as an advertisement. A campaign. You were entertainers. Performers. Keeping the crowd focused on you and nothing else was your main goal during shows. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" You could hear the audience cheering for Justin Timberlake as he arose from a platform that was hidden underneath the runway. The beat to 'Sexyback' could be heard all throughout the venue. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Gisele." The manager said giving Gisele her cue to walk. As she opened the show the crowd roared and you could hear the cameras shuttering. "Ok, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Alessandra." She walked out more and more cameras shuttering. It was your turn. This is the moment where all your jitters wash away. Nervous backstage, confident bombshell on stage. You placed your hands on your hips and get ready to walk. "5, 4, 3, -during these moments time always seemed to slow. Everything around you was in slow motion as you prepared for the moment when you would be in the gaze of hundreds of people.- 2, 1. Y/n."

Not missing one beat your body moved in sync with Justin's music. As you appeared on the runway, it felt as if a flash bomb had went off. The hundreds of cameras flash flashed before you. You looked absolutely perfect. Your opening lingerie was stunning. The bra itself was a white gold fabric with 24k diamonds that were delicately placed to make a lacy like pattern. Your panties were low waisted, barely leaving anything for the imagination, the fabric had small diamonds around the waist and elegant lacy white gold patterns. Your wings made you look like a literal angel. The feathers were white and fluffy they faded into gold at the tips. Your heels were stiletto embroidered with more bling that you can ever imagine. You looked stunning. You walked as if you owned the runway, like you owned the venue. The crowd loved you. Justin faced you giving you playful eyes. You reached out your hand, playfully wiggling your finger motioning him to come you to you. He obliged. He walked towards you as you continued your catwalk to him. Once you came close enough you ghosted your hand across his chest and continued walking. As he sang he checked you out as he did every model. As you approached the end of the runway you met eyes with a man. He was quite handsome in your opinion, -I mean absolutely gorgeous, he was eye candy to you- and that was saying a lot. I mean you're a Victoria's Secret supermodel. His eyes were icy and grey. Even with all the flashes of the cameras his eyes stayed almost dead? But not in a bad way, a totally invitingly sexy way. He sat forward as you approached the end of the stage. A small flirty smirk played on his lips. You didn't know why but you felt, -almost drawn?- to him. As you got closer the cameras flashed more than ever. "Y/n! Over here!" "Y/n!" "Y/n!!!" The photographers and crowd shouted your name. Even with all the people calling for your attention you couldn't look away from his eyes. There was just something about them. As you reached the end of the runway you finally ripped your eyes away from his and looked into the mob of flashes. A flirty smile on your lips as you posed for the cameras. You rested one of your hands on your hip and the other raised to your mouth. You sexily bit down on your pointer finger as you basically made love to the sea cameras with your eyes. After your designated 10 seconds on the head of the stage it was time to strut back to backstage. A playful smile replaced the flirty as you looked away from the cameras, you turned to walk back. You glanced back at the mystery man and kept walking flirting with Justin as you walked.

The next segment you were walking was segment 3: Come fly with me. Once again your piece was absolutely perfect for you. Your top was a simple baby pink bra with bold white detailing. Your skirt was a matching low waisted super mini skirt that showed the white underwear you wore underneath the skirt. You wore a small matching jacket, the sleeves went to your elbows. You had a cute flight attendant hat to go with. You carried with you a cute little baby pink pamphlet with a pink airplane on the front. It gave Hue Hefners flight attendant in all the right ways. As the 2nd segment was happening you were actually ahead of time. You actually had time to talk for the BTS clips and take pictures with the other models. You were talking with Miranda when the manager yelled. "Y/N! On your mark!!!" She yelled as she rushed you into the line of models. "Sorry!" You said worried as you rushed to your place behind Adriana.

The segment was already about to start. There was only about a minute intermission between the segments and that minute if even one model was late could ruin the entire show. You really needed to start paying attention to your marks. "OKAY GIRLS! KEEP. THEM. ENTERTAINED. DO SOMETHING!!! ANYTHING WE WANT THE COVER! NOT PAGE 3!!!" The managers always yelled backstage it was nothing new. Although to anyone else it would sound mean. But that's their job. It's their responsibility to make sure that the show goes smooth without any hiccups or problems. It was also their job to make sure to instruct the girls on what to fix and improve. "Okay Adrianna. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1." The manager said as she strutted out from backstage. Once again you found yourself in the trance like state. The tv that was backstage showed what the cameras were broadcasting as Adriana approaches the head of the runway you hear the long awaited count down. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Y/n." All worries wash away and once again you're that girl. You cat walked that damn stage like never before. Your glittering legs moved to the beat and your hips swayed with the rhythm. The cameras bombed you per usual. You knew you were gonna be on a cover or atleast a headline. You always were. You were just that girl. The crowd always loved you, they lived for you. You approached the end of the runway. Even in the middle of hundreds of eyes you could feel one stare particularly. His eyes were paralyzing. You fluttering your eyelashes at him as you continue walking up. You looked him up and down flirtatiously and he did the same. You acted on impulse -not on thought- When you got to the end of the runway you fanned yourself with the pamphlet, then tossed the pamphlet into the man's lap, and shot him a flirty wink then strutted away. Hundreds more cameras flashed it seemed like they were faster than the speed of light. We were definitely getting front cover. I mean the manager said to keep the people entertained?

THEO:

"Bro, what the fuck!" Blaise laughed as the angel walked away. "Theo, I told you! I swear she was looking at you like you were candyyy!" Pansy giggled. I just stared in awe at the pink pamphlet that laid in my lap. "Dude...she's into you!" Draco said basically geeking. "What the fuck." I said picking up the pamphlet as cameras flashed at me.

Y/N:

"Y/n?! What the hell was that?" One of the backstage managers said as she came out of nowhere. "Uhhh" You stared blankly at the woman. "Y/n, you're an angel! -she kisses you on the cheek- We just got 400 thousand more viewers on the live broadcast when you did that! God! Muah! Muah! -she continued giving you forehead kisses- Oh my god! -she smacks her forehead- We need to get you to wardrobes!" She shrieked as she pulled you by your hand through the crowd of models. Some of the girls whistling at you. You both finally made it to the dressing rooms. Although you weren't walking segment 4 or 5 you were opening and closing for the 6th segment: Winter Wonderland of Glacial Goddess. So ohh did you need all the time you could gather to get ready.

This time they re did your eyeshadow to an icy shimmer look. It truly did make your eyes pop. You were in all white and silver. The bra was absolutely stunning. Nearly blinding with the amount of diamonds. The designer had told you the lingerie costed more than the venue itself. And that was saying a lot. This is L.A. and this venue. It was absolutely nothing short of breath taking. You were opening this segment in the 6million dollar bra. All eyes would be on you I mean how couldn't they be the bra was basically built out of diamonds. The main focus of this piece was this bra. "Okay Y/n! Good luck! Maybe flirt with your mystery man again... -ooo's erupt from the girls- but good luck not that you need it! WE HAVE ONE MINUTE LADIES!" The manager yelled as she walked around instructing the staff on what to fix on the models. Your nerves got the best of you, you were shaking your hands and popping your knuckles. After what felt like hours you finally heard the count down. "Ok Y/n, show the world the physical embodiment of winter goddess! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Go." As you hear the beat of the music you get into the rhythm.

Your hips were swaying smoothly with ease. Gasps and whistles erupted from the crowd as you walked slowly and sensually. Your wings flowing behind you. Being the opener of the segment you got to walk down the center of the runway. All eyes were on you. The cameras were flashing at such a rate you thought the photographers would've ran out of storage by now. The diamonds blinging with every shot taken. When you got to the middle mark of the runway you did a small but quick spin. Once you neared the end of the runway you felt the fans blowing on you and the artificial snow falling from the ceiling made the whole scene perfect. Your eyes fluttered at the cameras and your lips parted slightly. Your hands rested lightly on your hips. After your designated time was up and the next model started walking down the runway you glance down to the man you have been flirting with all night. You looked from his eyes and then back down to his lap where the baby pink pamphlet laid then back up to his eyes. You blew him a kiss, then giggled when you seen his friend practically leap across a girl and a blonde man to catch it. The way he looked at you wasn't like how any other man looked at you it was with that same thirsty look you'd seen on every man at the shows it was more like admiration. He looked at you like you were a literal goddess on Earth. Hundreds of cameras caught the moment. You were living for this. I mean obviously all these stunts were getting you publicity, but there was just something about this man that drew you to him. It made you want to continue this flirty behavior towards him. You couldn't put your finger on exactly what it was. His alluring eyes? His perfectly tailored suit that showed his physique? Or perhaps the way he rolled a single gold ring between his fingers? You didn't know this man was truly a mystery.

You went backstage once more and covered your face with your hands in embarrassment as a group of stage directors and managers swarmed you. "The viewers are living for this!" "Your name is all over Facebook and MySpace!" "You gotta keep this going!" "Did you plan this?" "This is definitely making front cover!" You laugh in embarrassment of the very public flirting situation you have going on with some random you've never met before. "Oh my god! What do I do next? I mean there's not much I can do. It's not like I can pull him up on stage or anything? I don't even know the guy!" You say as they all rush you back to the dressing rooms. "Yes! Yes! Do exactly that!" "Do what? No. I won't that's- that's just embarrassing. Not only for me but for him! Like I said before I don't even know the guy!" You explained as the group of stylists quickly changed you into your next lingerie set.

Again there you stood on your mark in line watching as the line of ansy girls get shorter and shorter. You were gonna be closing the same segment you opened. And ohhh were you nervous. I mean who wouldn't be? You stand there nervously shaking your hands trying calm yourself down. Taking deep breaths as you watch the cue get shorter and shorter. "Okay Y/n, you ready?" One of the backstage managers asks lightly resting a hand on your back. "Yeah..Yeah I'm ready." You lightly smile. As you approach the hidden door way where you're supposed to enter the stage. Even from backstage you can hear the photographer's cameras flashing, and the people clapping and whistling. You snap out of your thoughts and look up. There's only one girl in front of you in line. You take quite possibly the longest breath you've ever taken before you hear those same repetitive words you've been hearing all night. "Okay Y/n, you ready?" You only nod in response. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go." As soon as you heard the word you had to force yourself to walk. You could not let your nerves get the best of you right now.

You walked onto the stage looking as ethereal as humanly possible. The bra had dozens of dainty diamond embedded silver chains that traveled down your body to the panties. The thong had the same diamond chains dangling from it that connected with your sheer sparkling thigh highs. The diamonds that were connected with the one that laid against your torso also traveled up and around your neck creating a diamond choker illusion. Your stilettos were covered in the same stunning diamonds. You were dripping head to toe in bling. And let's not get started on your wings. The wings were extravagant. There was feathers that blended into a sheer flowing fabric at the ends that blew and bounced in the wind when you walked. You had a head piece aswell it blended into your hair making it look like you had diamonds and snow in your hair. Your earrings were diamonds that were engraved to simulate snowflakes. You were an actual winter goddess.

As you appeared on stage the crowd went absolutely crazy. You walked per usual but this time walking directly down the middle of the stage, hips gliding with the music. Your wings flowing and bouncing with every step you took. Looking from left to right engaging with the crowd. As you walked closer and closer to the end of the stage once again you locked eyes with him. You gave him a wink before posing for the cameras. Since you were closing you had an extended amount of time to pose for the cameras. It was like a flash bomb had went off. Every. Single. Photographer. in the building was taking hundreds of pictures of you. You stood there hands on your hips letting the artificial snow and wind do its job.

After your designated time you made a rash decision. Instead of turning around and walking back to backstage. You stepped down the stairs that were at the end of the stage and approached the mystery man. His eyes no longer appeared sleepy or dead, but now utterly surprised. Once you got close enough you extended your hand to him, and he happily obliged. His cold hand took yours and you guided him back up onto the stage. His friends whistling at you two. The cameras bombed you two. Once you got back on stage he gave you a little twirl. Your fingers were loosely grasping his as you guided him to backstage. You walked in front of him looking back at him every few seconds.

You both finally made it backstage and immediately you two were surrounded by managers and stylists, models gawking at you two. The models were laughing and smiling at the sight. "Ahh! Y/n you did it!" Your managers said wrapping an arm around you. Some of the backstage cameras recording and taking photos of the both of you. "And what's your name?" The manager turned and asked the man. He looked completely dazed and confused, while also smiling. "Uhm, Theo. Theodore Nott." He said shaking the managers hand. "Well I have business to attend to. You can stay backstage until we're done! Uhhh! Stacy get him a backstage pass!" The manager shouted for her assistant. Stacy comes up to him and wraps a lanyard around his neck. You turn to him to find him already looking at you. "So uhm, sorry about all that. I was just- My manager told me to." You looked down to find that you were both still holding hands. You quickly let go when you realized. "Yeah, no worries. I was just confused...but I really don't mind." His voice was as smooth as velvet.

As you looked up at him you took the opportunity to take in all of his features. He truly was as handsome as you thought. You both kinda just stood there looking at each other. "So...would you want to go to dinner with me?" He asks breaking the silence between you two. Even backstage where there's girls running around trying to get changing out of their pieces and managers trying to make sure everyone was doing their jobs, you felt as if the room was silent. "Yeah, that would be nice." You said softly as you tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. His expression once questioning now soft. A small smile laced his lips. "I'm gonna go get changed, uhm, there's drinks and a snack table over there if you want anything. Oh, and if you want you could bring your friends back stage with you." You said giving him a small smile. "Yeah, okay, take your time. There's no rush." He said giving you one last smile before you turned to go back to the dressing room.

You made your way to the dressing room and when you got there you were swarmed with girls squealing and asking you questions. "Okay, okay. So, he asked me to dinner." "And what'd you say?!" "Well obviously I said yes!" All the girls were jumping and hugging you. "Well hurry up and get changed already you can't keep him waiting!!!" They ushered you into your dressing room and you hurriedly got changed back into your clothes you had came to the venue in. Due to the fact that before the show you had an interview for the BTS footage your outfit was simple. It was a black strapless dress from Versace that ended at a little below your knees. Your shoes were black Gianni Ribbon Pumps from Versace as well. Your hair was still in its classic VS blowout. You carried a small black shoulder purse. You stepped back out of your dressing room. "Do I look okay?" You said with a worried expression. "Yes? Is that even a question Y/n?" One model said smiling at you. You began walking out of the dressing room before quickly turning around, "Wait i'm nervous!" "Y/n you'll be finee! I'll walk you out of the dressing room, c'monnn let's go!" She said hooking your arm with hers. She walked you maybe 15feet out of the room and then he was in your line of sight. He and his friends stood all together right where you left him. The girl was chatting with Karolina and a stylist. "Now go...see he's waiting for you~" She cooed in your ear. You gave her a 'really.' look. "Okay —you take a breath— wish me luck!" You say before turning to walk over to him.

You immediately catch all of his attention. He looks almost awestruck? "Hey, i'm ready to go." You say softly smiling up at him. Your gaze then wanders to his friends who are watching and giggling at you two. "Don't worry about them, I already called the car service for them. As for us we'll be going to Providence. It's a very nice restaurant, I think you'll like it." He says with a charming smile. You've never been there but from what you've heard about the place the restaurant sounded luxury. "Yeah that's fine with me, whenever you're ready to go I am." Right when you say that your manager comes rushing to you. "Y/n! Y/n!" She says nearly out of breath as ran up to you. "Oh, Y/n~" She says as she sees you standing next to Theo. You roll your eyes playfully. "I just got you an interview with the director of GUCCI! He wants to speak with you now though so let's go!" She says trying to yank you. "Ericka! Wait!" You slightly yell trying to get out of her grasp. She lets go turning around to you with a worried face. You turn back around to Theo. "I'm sorry, I don't think-" He cuts you off, "Don't worry about it bella, we'll schedule dinner for another time. Now go. Don't let me stop you, okay." He says charming as ever as he tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear. You blush slightly and give him a small smile. "Okay, thank you for understanding. Oh! Uhm, Ericka do you have a pen?" "Yeah, yeah, here." She says as she frantically looks for a pen and gives one to you. You take his hand and write.

415-***-**** Call me. XoXo.

You fold his hand then lean up to give him a small kiss on the cheek. He just stands there slightly blushing. "I'll see you soon, yeah?" You ask as you turn to walk away with Ericka. "Yeah." He says as he slightly licks his lips.

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saturnsbabyboii · 1 year

Text

The Black Moon Lilith in the signs and houses (Our core fear, inner saboteur, healing and transformation)

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Note: I heavily use the work of Laura Walker’s book that I will reference. I used her wording and point of view from the book because she worded better than I could. So don’t come for me with any plagiarism crap. Thank you.

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"power comes from strife"

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Black Moon Lilith operates on unseen levels. It pertains to hidden information, exposes secrets, and brings our core and primary fears to light. Fears from our shadow side cause us to undermine ourselves, and even others. Black Moon Lilith is the lingering feeling that stabs your consciousness and triggers you; If you don't listen to it, you'll grow vicious and paranoid of others and yourself.

My interpretation of the shadow is that it is the home of our primal fear. A fear that has significant power in our lives. It is based on primal, instinctual levels and operates on survival principles. The primary fear is a primary motivator for many of our life decisions.

In the book "The Astrology of the Black Moon: A Guide to Healing the Shadow Side" (Walker, 2011)

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The writer identified the twelve signs and their innate and core fears:

ARIES: fear of unworthiness

Theme: The Shadow of Success

Primary Fear: fear of unworthiness

Self-judgment: how well one performs or measures up

Issues: success; identity; questions about inherent value, self-esteem, and merit

Projection: others‟ success and worthiness are based on what they have attained or accomplished

Goals: to not compare yourself to others; to not measure personal success by anyone else standards, to value yourself as a unique expression of the Creator, therefore, creating self-esteem

Manifestation: The Black Moon in Aries manifests in the intense quest to be valued and feel worthy. However, a deep-seated feeling of unworthiness is in conflict with this quest, often causing beneficial opportunities to be passed up. In life, we are only able to receive what we think we deserve, and when we feel undeserving, we will avoid or reject people, jobs, or options that we feel are too good for us. Self-sabotaging behavior often occurs with the Black Moon in Aries. There can also be a need to prove ones worthiness to others, even in the form of subtle bragging. The Black Moon in Aries staunchly defends itself and rejects anything that does not fall in line with its ideas and beliefs.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Aries, the belief in inherent unworthiness must be faced. Simply by virtue of being born, we are entitled to and worthy of the joys of life. If All is One, then none are less than others. Each of us carries a spark of the Divine - none are excluded. Healing occurs when we are able to see ourselves as successful and worthy because we are a child of the Universe. When we recognize this, we understand that all other gauges are external and superficial. By holding ourselves in high regard, we naturally align with our highest and best.

Examine where you have settled for less than you wished.

Ask yourself what you would do if somehow, magically, a wand was waved and you were deemed worthy. Strive to connect with this vision.

Ask yourself how much the appearance of success plays in your life.

Ask yourself what you are always trying to win. When you discover the answer, decide if you really want it. Is it worth the effort? By practicing the awareness that you do not have to be the best in every situation, you will come to a natural state of internal balance.

Black Moon in Aries: Johnny Cash, Kurt Cobain, Albert Einstein, Elizabeth I, Mahatma Gandhi, Michael Jackson, Prince, Vladimir Lenin, Mary Queen of Scots, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Mark Zuckerberg

Black Moon in the 1st House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are deeply related to how we feel about ourselves. The shadow side is ingrained in how we use our personal energy, what motivates us and our sense of overall wellbeing. Personal appearance or the way we appear to others is often a major concern. If the shadow is heavily in control, our behavior patterns will strongly reflect it. This placement of the Black Moon is intensely personal and our shadow issues will have a dramatic impact on our lives.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is the vast amount of personal energy at our disposal. This level of energy can produce fantastic healers and immensely creative individuals. We can accomplish monumental feats and have an uncanny ability to turn “negatives” into “positives.”

TAURUS: fear of scarcity

Theme: The Shadow of Security

Primary Fear: fear of scarcity

Self-judgment: how secure/safe one is by the level of comfort

Issues: having enough to feel safe; compulsive consumption; insecurities

Projection: the tendency to criticize others for being lazy, irresponsible (especially with money), or unconventional

Goals: to not fill the void with “things,” to stretch beyond your comfort zone

Manifestation: With Black Moon in Taurus, the more we have, the more comfortable we feel. In turn, the more comfortable we feel, the safer we think we are. With this placement, there is an intense need to feel comfortable because there is a generalized feeling of being unsafe in the world. The Black Moon in Taurus manifests in an almost insatiable desire to consume and accumulate possessions, money, or anything that makes us feel safe and secure. However, no matter how much we acquire, it will never be enough because the void that we are trying to fill cannot be filled in this way. It may be filled momentarily, but the core feeling of insecurity will soon return. Oftentimes, the end result of this constant attempt to satisfy the fear of not having enough is the accumulation of debt, weight, or responsibilities – usually the exact things we are trying to avoid. With this placement of the Black Moon, there is an intense need to feel satisfied. Insecurities are held very deeply and there is tremendous fear of others knowing those insecurities.

Healing and Transcending:

The belief that the world is unsafe must be confronted. Integrating the idea that we have all that we need inside is what heals this shadow. When we build on who we really are inside, we no longer need to accumulate possessions to feel secure. When we accept that all is going according to a divine plan, we no longer need to fear the events of the world. No matter what, each of us always returns to our Source. This is the security that Black Moon in Taurus seeks.

Cut back on whatever is filling the void. This will bring immediate discomfort and it will leave you with time on your hands. It is important to learn how to “not do” – to become comfortable with stillness. The next time you feel the need to take on more, buy more, or eat more, go and sit by yourself and put on some music, read, practice yoga or throttle down in some way. By practicing being still when you are most uncomfortable, you will be feeding your inner world and requiring less from the outer world.

Black Moon in Taurus: J.S. Bach, Patsy Cline, Howard Hughes, Abraham Lincoln, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Wilhelm Reich, Henry David Thoreau, Vincent van Gogh, Lady Gaga, Kanye West, Lana Del Rey, Bruce Lee, Celine Dion, Joseph Stalin

Black Moon in the 2nd House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are deeply related to how secure we feel. Financial considerations seem to plague us. The shadow side blurs the lines between emotional needs and material/financial needs; attitudes toward partners can hinge on security issues. The shadow side is ingrained in our value systems, which can at times seem at odds with our behavior.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is the generous, comfortable feeling we engender in others, resulting in many meaningful, lasting interpersonal relationships. People truly enjoy being with us, finding us not only charming but disarming.

GEMINI: fear of rejection

Theme: The Shadow of Acceptance

Primary Fear: fear of rejection

Self-judgment: how one compares to others

Issues: whether others approve or disapprove

Projection: labeling others as selfish; distaste for people who fail to do “the right thing”

Goals: to not care if people like or want you, to not compare yourself to others, to express your individuality

Manifestation:

Those with the Black Moon in Gemini are morbidly afraid of rejection. They are people pleasers, which often leaves them wondering “what it is we ourselves like and dislike”. This shadow manifests as a need to make decisions or act in accordance with whatever gains acceptance from others. It is damaging to the soul to pursue a life that others wish for us, as it comes at the expense of the expression of individual talents. Actions based on or motivated by another leads to a suppression of the true self. It is a great disservice not to explore who we really are. It is also dangerous to “over-do” for others in hopes that they will like us; ultimately it leads to burn out. At the other end of the spectrum, this placement causes sudden and severe reactions to anything that hints at potential rejection, often causing serious challenges with relationships because we will reject someone before they can reject us. The Black Moon in Gemini will bail out too early or stay way too long.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Gemini, it is necessary to face the need for others‟ approval. Each of us has something special to offer the world. What is important is not if others approve of us, but if we approve of ourselves. That sounds very cliché, but with Black Moon in Gemini we need to provide our own approval. When you are able to consciously put yourself on the line to be rejected, intending that the outcome will not hinder your spirit, you will have regained the power that is trapped in the shadow side. When the shadow is healed, rejection ceases to be an issue because inner acceptance has been achieved - creating a wealth of talent that is available to the world.

Examine where you are not being self-“ish” or operating from your true self.

When making decisions and planning your time and resources, ask yourself who you are doing it for. The answer should always be “for myself – for my highest and best which in turn serves the highest and best of everyone.” This doesn‟t mean you are supposed to forget about others; it means that you put yourself into the equation. Healing this shadow requires vigilant monitoring of your time, energy, and money and how you spend them. It will quickly become apparent when your energy is scattered and whose approval you are seeking. By practicing making little decisions based on your own needs, you will integrate and balance you in relation to others.

Black Moon in Gemini: Marlon Brando, Karl Marx, Frank Sinatra, Mark Twain, Mariah Carey, Joe Biden, Muhammed Ali, Frida Kahlo, Harrison Ford, Stephen Hawking, Shia LeBeouf, Kendrick Lamar, Yoko Ono

Black Moon in the 3rd House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are deeply related to self- expression. The shadow side is ingrained in rigid attitudes and strong opinions that can cause us an endless amount of trouble. At times there is overwhelming confusion about the direction we want to take in life. Early life has a more pronounced effect on us than others. The outgrowths of childhood weave their way through later life in the most resolute ways. Issues with siblings can linger throughout adulthood.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is our uncanny, exacting powers of observation and communication. These talents can be applied in a multitude of ways. Also, our accuracy in perceiving situations gives us a definite advantage in life.

CANCER: fear of abandonment

Theme: The Shadow of Support

Primary Fear: fear of abandonment

Self-Judgment: how well one is supported; how much others do or give

Issues: dependency; co-dependency

Projection: tendency to dislike those we deem “needy”

Goals: to do things for ourselves, to not be dependent or “clingy”

Manifestation:

Black Moon in Cancer carries a pervasive feeling of being unable to take care of oneself. This shadow manifests in the need to manipulate situations so that one is dependent on others. In this way we are assured of not being alone. This distorted sense of support wreaks havoc on relationships, as others feel burdened or smothered. Many times with the Black Moon in Cancer we feel unappreciated for the things we do for others. The chronic feeling of not being supported halts personal growth, as personal needs are met by others, not by ourselves.

Healing and Transcending:

The dependence on others for support must be faced. We must provide our own support by not abandoning ourselves. This means taking care of and addressing our own needs. Action that is in favor of self-sufficiency is in order. Action that is undertaken for others should be unconditional. When the concept of Oneness is integrated, the idea of abandonment is no longer valid and relationships naturally equalize to a state of balance.

Begin doing the things that you want others to do for you all by yourself. The next time you need something that you would normally ask another to provide for you, go ahead and get it yourself. Begin with small things but work your way up to major ones.

Do something that you never would have done on your own. By practicing doing more for yourself you will balance the shadow that depends too heavily on others.

Set up individual systems of support such as retirement funds or other accounts.

Black Moon in Cancer: Jimi Hendrix, Henry VIII, Janice Joplin, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Malcolm X, Princess Diana, Jennifer Aniston, Elvis Presley, Jay Z, Robin Williams, Paul McCartney, Charles Manson, Naomi Campbell, Kobe Bryant, Rupaul, Paul Newman, Al Capone

Black Moon in the 4th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to our foundation and sense of home. The shadow is ingrained with an overidentification with home and much effort is devoted to cultivating a feeling of belonging. With this placement, relationships with parents (particularly the mother) are often difficult, especially if our parents did not provide a strong home. There is a tendency to be stuck in the past and/or unable to forgive and forget.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is the ability to not only be sensitive to, but accommodate other people needs. If we truly trust someone, we will provide whatever is necessary to make that person happy, making us exceptional partners.

LEO: fear of change

Theme: The Shadow of Order

Primary Fear: fear of change

Self-judgment: the level or station one has achieved

Issues: order; position; arrogance; self-centeredness; jealousy

Projection: distaste for or identification with overbearing, vain, or “selfish” people

Goals: to identify and vocalize others‟ talents and strengths, to identify the opportunities presented by changes, to eliminate feeling jealous

Manifestation:

The Black Moon in Leo assaults the ego. It manifests in egocentricity and arrogance. With this placement we are frequently accused of being selfish. This is because our attention is naturally attracted to whatever reinforces our position in life. Any ideas to the contrary are quickly dismissed. The fear of change morphs into the fear of losing face or losing position. Rigid attempts to maintain the existing order, framework, or mindset are common and can lead to exhaustion.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Leo, the need for classification and designation must be faced. In truth, there is no hierarchy – All is One. Change is the nature of the Universe and change brings the opportunity for growth. We each have roles that we slip in and out of; the key is to fluidly take on positions and situations where we both lead and follow so that nothing remains static. It is also important to remember that, by definition, Divine Order is never threatened.

Give to others. Black Moon in Leo has a tremendous capacity to uplift. ø When you encounter new situations, consider how you could empower someone else who is involved. How could you make them feel more important? Think about how you could give something of yourself to someone else.

When you are with others, practice trying to discover something very special about them in that moment and then casually mention it.

Try new things. By practicing changing the order of things, you are healing your shadow.

Black Moon in Leo: Charles de Gaulle, Ernest Hemingway, Elizabeth II, Lyndon B. Johnson, John F. Kennedy, Robert F. Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, Vladimir Putin, Jim Morrison, Pablo Picasso, Christopher Reeve, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Leo Tolstoy, Barack Obama, Rihanna, Adele

Black Moon in the 5th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to the ability to truly enjoy life. This shadow is ingrained in pursuing, but having difficulty finding, pleasure. We are prone to take risks in order to feel stimulated. Issues with the father are found with this placement. The father may have been absent or neglectful, especially if Saturn is prominent. This shadow side may also center on children, either wanting children and not having them or not taking care of ones children.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is resiliency. No matter how disappointed we become, we are rarely down for long. We are excellent problem solvers and leaders. We adapt well to changes and can fluidly change course in mid-stride.

VIRGO: fear of failure

Theme: The Shadow of Ability

Primary Fear: fear of failure

Self-judgment: how much one works, progresses, improves, or fixes

Issues: feelings of being inherently flawed; self-criticism

Projection: feeling that others are not performing well enough or are incompetent

Goals: to not focus on flaws or failures, to not do things to excess, to not feel responsible to fix everything

Manifestation:

Black Moon in Virgo finds flaws and then internalizes them. This shadow manifests in chronic dissatisfaction, particularly with oneself. With this placement, we often find it difficult to feel positive about ourselves for great lengths of time. All too soon, a generalized feeling of being “not good enough” creeps back in to maintain internal disequilibrium. Black Moon in Virgo constantly challenges our abilities and, in an effort to prove ourselves, we tend to maintain a very full schedule. We work very hard but can have trouble seeing the forest for the trees, as we operate under the spell of having to do more and more to prove to ourselves and others that we are not flawed. This shadow is the most adept at self punishment.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Virgo, the need to find fault must be faced. A healthier state of mind is achieved when we recognize that nothing is absolute – there is no absolute right or wrong. All levels of ability have something to contribute. Healing this shadow requires understanding that flaws are an illusion. The crucial thing to understand is that when we have the Black Moon in Virgo, we interpret the feeling of separation from Spirit as somehow our fault. Everyone has the feeling of spiritual disconnection, but Black Moon in Virgo personalizes it. This is the root cause of why we feel flawed. To heal the shadow, we must accept that to some degree, this feeling is merely a by-product of the physical experience of life.

Examine where you feel you have failed. Upon closer inspection, what caused the “failure?” Was it really your fault? Was there really more you could have done or was it just not meant to be? Can you forgive yourself and others for not doing better?

Can you walk away from “failures” and feel enriched simply by having had the experience? Time is the true test of what is, at the time, perceived to be a failure. By focusing on the experience as opposed to the outcome, the shadow of ability is healed.

Black Moon in Virgo: Alexander Graham Bell, Benazir Bhutto, Sigmund Freud, Galileo, George Washington, 14th Dalai Lama, William Shakespeare, Jon Bon Jovi

Black Moon in the 6th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to health and work. At times there can be problems with co-workers, particularly regarding perceptions of our work performance. The shadow side is ingrained in the level of self-discipline we have. We may be accused of being disorganized. There is also a tendency to vacillate between ignoring our body and focusing too much on it, leading to concerns over health.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is a keen insight into the interrelatedness of things. We often hold a warehouse of information that others find helpful.

LIBRA: fear of loneliness

Theme: The Shadow of Perfection

Primary Fear: fear of loneliness/isolation

Self-judgment: personal “flaws” are harshly judged

Issues: perfection; unrealistic expectations; boundary issues

Projection: criticism of others, particularly the criticism of how things appear

Goals: to not have to have things be perfect, to be comfortable being alone, to see gray - not just black and white, to not be judgmental

Manifestation:

Black Moon in Libra values impeccability and holds everything and everyone to a high standard, especially oneself. This shadow involves pursuit of the “ideal” and keenly feels the separation from spirit. The Black Moon in Libra manifests in intense self-judgment and fragmentation of the self into pieces that are either acceptable or unacceptable. This shadow breaches boundaries and sorts through everything in an attempt to perfect it. It seeks excellence. This results in an unending series of disappointments and can form schisms in relationships. Maintaining any semblance of perfection is exhausting for anyone, but with the Black Moon in Libra, we often find ourselves complaining about being tired or not having enough time. Indecisiveness and self-deprivation are also characteristic of this shadow.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Libra, the need to judge must be faced. This shadow is strongly connected to the journey through the judgment of the Underworld and subsequent rebirth in a whole new way (see Chapter Five on the transits of the Black Moon). It is actually a journey to find what is truly of value. When we are able to see that love is truly the only thing of value, we find inclusion instead of separation. We begin to love all of the parts, not just some of them. When we understand that everything is connected, we see that the fear of separation is an illusion. Healing the shadow of perfection is about seeing our own (and others‟) inner perfection by allowing the “ideals” of the outer, material world to fall away.

Assess your values. When you find yourself being critical of others, ask yourself if you dislike that same thing in yourself. Examine how you separate yourself from other people. Is there a need to keep some part of you distinct from others?

When you find yourself being critical, find something valuable about the situation. You might not feel like certain things about you or others are perfect in appearance, but you may find that they are highly valuable in functionality. By practicing finding value, the shadow that believes in the idea of perfection is healed.

Black Moon in Libra: Ralph Waldo Emerson, Benito Mussolini, Tupac Shakur, Nikola Tesla

Black Moon in the 7th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to partnerships and commitment. This shadow side is urgently motivated to seek mutually-fulfilling relationships, which are often elusive. Also, other people find ways to take advantage of us, sometimes to the point of betrayal. Many times life seems unfair to us and others would probably agree. In the midst of this, there can also be issues of dependence or neediness.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is our ability to perceive and create beauty from the smallest things. Innately tuned toward balance, we easily see what is missing and then endeavor to rectify the situation. This is a very valuable skill that can be translated into many different applications.

SCORPIO: fear of loss

Theme: The Shadow of Death

Primary Fear: fear of loss

Self-judgment: based on what one has won

Issues: winning vs. losing; issues with death/endings

Projection: rescuing others

Goals: to not always have to win, to learn how to have closure, to not have to rescue, to not struggle so hard

Manifestation:

Black Moon in Scorpio will go to extreme lengths to save, assist, rescue, or win. This shadows favorite prize is something that was hard won. The Black Moon in Scorpio manifests as a deep well of despair with desperate attempts to climb out. We cling or attach to anything that stems the feeling of free-falling through life. Daily life is frequently viewed as a battle to win in order to stave off deepening feelings of loss. Sometimes even casual encounters are judged according to what was won or lost in the exchange. Black Moon in Scorpio is very strong energy that can cause intense levels of anxiety. We are especially attracted to people who are in need of assistance or who are “persecuted” in some way, as this is the preferred method to vicariously save ourselves.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Scorpio, the need to struggle must be faced. Nothing is ever really lost because there really is no death – only transformation into a new form. There is no need to plunge to the depths just to prove that we can win or to try to keep things from ending. Practicing the arts of gratitude and surrender is what facilitates the shift from the perspective of loss to the perspective of love. Material things fall away, but love endures forever.

Become comfortable with losing. It is essential to let go of anything that you are overly attached to.

Examine where you have invested most of your energy. Is it a losing battle? Instead of dealing with loss in an indirect way, consciously take action to give up. Imagine how relieved you would feel.

Take steps to practice ending the smallest things (like phone calls) and work up to being able to step away from situations that cannot be saved (like dead end relationships). You may be surprised to find that something else was waiting all along - you just couldn’t see it while you were busy running away from it. This is the nature of death or endings. They always precede rebirth and beginnings.

Black Moon in Scorpio: Alexander the Great, Winston Churchill, Nostredame, Steve Jobs, Emily Dickinson, Pope Francis, Walt Disney, Jeff Bezos, John D. Rockefeller, Albert Schweitzer, Mother Teresa, Eminem, Taylor Swift, Johnny Depp, Beyoncé, Dwayne Johnson, Notorious B.I.G

Black Moon in the 8th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to death, inheritance, investments, and sex. This is the most difficult house placement for the Black Moon. The shadow side is ingrained in loss; in fact, we may feel that our lives lead only to loss. With Black Moon in the eighth house, chronic anxiety may be present.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is our great depth of compassion and ability to see beyond the surface. We quickly ascertain people true motivations. Our wisdom and insight is a great benefit to those with whom we are close.

SAGITTARIUS: fear of meaninglessness

Theme: The Shadow of Truth

Primary Fear: fear of meaninglessness

Self-judgment: based on intentions and motivations

Issues: issues related to truth and honesty

Projection: distaste for people who lie or people who are naïve

Goals: to not have to have the ultimate answers, to tolerate the ordinary, to not always need “proof”

Manifestation:

The Black Moon in Sagittarius manifests in an intense relationship with the concept of “truth.” There is a great need to discern the superlative truth in all things, which causes a never ending sequence of questioning. More importantly, we need to feel like people are telling us the truth, as we do not automatically believe anything simply because it was said. Relationships can become stressed if our partners feel that they always have to prove that they are telling the truth. Themes of deception often play a role in our lives, perhaps as a victim of deception. Ongoing questions about not only our purpose in life, but the purpose of life characterize this shadow. Feelings of stagnation are not tolerated well.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Sagittarius, the need to continue searching must be faced. At some point, one must simply believe. Ultimately, all searching for the truth leads back to the truth that All is One. What is meaningful? Whatever we choose as meaningful is meaningful. This shadow is healed when we see that each of us has an interpretation of truth, which eliminates the need to find one superlative truth.

Take up the mantle of responsibility for creating meaning in life. Meaningfulness is found by assessing what is truly important. What is meaningful to you? When you know the answers to this question, you will have created truth – the truth according to you. Devotion of your life to your own truth heals the shadow that never believes that truth really exists.

Black Moon in Sagittarius: Helena Blavatsky, Napoleon Bonaparte, Thomas Jefferson, Carl Jung, Martin Luther King, Jr., Jack London, Claude Monet, Ronald Reagan

Black Moon in the 9th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to our outlook or philosophy in life, religion, spirituality, higher learning, the law, and the world at large. This shadow is deeply concerned with issues of morality. We hold strong opinions, often leading to conflicts with others. There is a tendency to feel disconnected from others or from ourselves. We may even feel compelled to isolate ourselves from the world around us.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is a keen intellect that we are able to translate into many fields of interest. Our knowledge encompasses a wide spectrum, affording us the ability to relate to many different people, should we so desire.

CAPRICORN: fear of neglect

Theme: The Shadow of Control

Primary Fear: fear of neglect/ not being acknowledged

Self-judgment: how well one stands out or apart

Issues: control issues; attention-seeking behavior

Projection: negative reaction to bossy, showy, or attention-seeking people; rebellion against being told what to do

Goals: to be comfortable when not in control, to stand up for yourself

Manifestation:

The Black Moon in Capricorn manifests as a need to control the course of events. When this shadow dominates, we have a tendency to be demanding. We can go to extreme efforts to gain attention. We have definite ideas about the way things should be and others often succumb to the force of our will. Frequently we refuse to give up until someone – anyone - acknowledges what we have to offer or agrees with what we think is best. A little bit of recognition goes a long way with us, but so does a little bit of neglect, and Black Moon in Capricorn has a long memory. But interpersonal relationships suffer when we wear down another free will to come into compliance with our own. This results in lackluster relationships where the joyful spark of life becomes extinguished. We are very hard workers, but we can also expect a lot from others.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Capricorn, we need to examine what we are trying to control. We also need to give ourselves the recognition we seek. When we are able to do this, there is no longer a drive to ensure that others follow our wishes because we already have what we need.

Examine where you need to have your way. Observe yourself carefully. Are you telling someone how, when, or what to do? Practice allowing others to go about tasks in their own way.

Ask others what they would like to do and then do it. Enjoy the feeling of not being responsible for everything. Freedom, spontaneity, and a joyful feeling for life will return when the pressure to be a certain way is removed.

Black Moon in Capricorn: Leonardo da Vinci, Farrah Fawcett, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Machiavelli

Black Moon in the 10th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to ambition, authority, social status, and responsibility. Tradition and family obligations are important us. This shadow is ingrained in a sense of duty and high aspirations, and we closely monitor our progress in the world as compared to others. We hold high standards and expectations, which can cause interpersonal difficulties if we demand too much from others.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is our ability to persevere. We are hard workers who take more than our share of any load. When we give our word, we do everything in our power to keep it.

AQUARIUS: fear of powerlessness

Theme: The Shadow of Power

Primary Fear: fear of powerlessness

Self-judgment: based on the impact/power one has to get what one wants or needs

Issues: power issues; power struggles

Projection: distaste for weak or undisciplined people

Goals: to learn to ask for help, to not overpower others

Manifestation:

The Black Moon in Aquarius often manifests in a powerful sense of loneliness. Usually we are keenly aware of our intense personal power and are somewhat frightened by it. Our skills and aptitudes can border on genius, often giving us an air of considerable authority. We have strong faculties and diverse talents that can be used to uplift or to crush others. Black Moon in Aquarius is a force rivaled by few, and the temptation to dominate others can become an ongoing battle. It is simply all too easy to emotionally and intellectually overpower others. Ethical concerns can arise, as we are prone to test our limitations. In situations where we feel powerless, we tend to isolate ourselves so no one will see our “weakness.” This self-imposed prison is rife with internal brutality, as we tend to unleash cruel criticism on ourselves for not being stronger.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Aquarius, the tendency to overpower others must be faced. When we recognize that we are all connected, there is no need for anyone to overpower another. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses that fluctuate and change over time. The extra boost of power that accompanies Black Moon in Aquarius can be re-routed back into the collective of humanity in the form of brilliant ideas and creations that uplift the whole. A channel or outlet for this power is what is needed to keep it from blowing up. When the focus shifts to sharing power, all benefit.

Examine if you abuse your power by neglecting or criticizing others. Do you take advantage of others, however unwittingly? Or do you neglect, criticize, or overextend yourself?

Ask yourself what you would do with all of your power. It is very important for you to answer this question. Are you more afraid of your power or your powerlessness? Discerning the parameters of personal power is what heals this shadow.

Black Moon in Aquarius: Robert Oppenheimer, Genghis Khan, Ludwig van Beethoven, James Dean, Jacki Kennedy, Salvador Dali, O.J Simpson, Amy Winehouse, Kid Cudi

Black Moon in the 11th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to our hopes, wishes, and dreams. The shadow is concerned with how we fit into the collective of humanity. Issues of the “self versus others” follow us and we may find that we are often accused of being selfish or self centered. Change is usually difficult for us to handle.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is the ability to bring people together. We are natural networkers. We are also interesting people to be around and are true innovators.

PISCES: fear of vulnerability/harm

Theme: The Shadow of Trust

Primary Fear: fear of vulnerability

Self-judgment: based on how stable ones emotions are

Issues: trust issues

Projection: distrust of people who are “too nice” because they must want something

Goals: to let down your walls with the appropriate people, to be able to discern who is appropriate for you, to focus on self as much as others

Manifestation:

The Black Moon in Pisces is tender-hearted. We are afraid that if others discover this, they will use it against us. There is a tendency to judge people and situations based on the potential of being hurt. We may find it difficult to be open or fully intimate with others. It is often hard to trust others and we test them until we feel safe. This shadow can show up overtly (in unmistakable emotional walls) but it can also show up subtly (appearing on the surface to be very open, but upon closer inspection having definite commitment issues). On the flip side, we can also make commitments before trust is gained. By prematurely trusting, we face betrayal or disappointment. In this way, a vague sense of safety is maintained since a deeper sense of intimacy is never attained. The sense of being separated from Spirit is acute with Black Moon in Pisces and the intense desire to not be present in the “here and now” can lead to emotional addictions, addiction to substances, or escaping our own issues through focusing on others.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Pisces, the need to put up a wall of protection must be faced. The truth is, life can be painful and people hurt us whether they intend to or not. We need to learn to trust the people we know we can trust. Usually this is the person we are with the most, but proportionately open up to the least. We tend to hold ourselves back, but this is a crime against our souls because we are naturally closest to Spirit and have much to share with others. Our shadow is healed when we trust that we are strong enough to withstand any offense.

Ask yourself when you feel most vulnerable. In what situations do you cross your arms and cover your chest? How do you cover up or cover over who you really are?

Consider who you physically, intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally open up to the most? It is important to look at the level of trust you have in the people around you and honestly assess if your trust is well-placed. Balancing the shadow of trust is just as much about not placing trust in the people that you know you shouldn’t as it is about allowing someone else see who you really are.

Black Moon in Pisces: Jesus Christ (allegedly), Prince Charles, John Lennon, Gerald Ford, Judy Garland, Angelina Jolie, Mike Tyson, Madonna, Harry Styles, Miley Cyrus, Ariana Grande, Leonardo DiCaprio, Al Pacino, Elizabeth Taylor

Black Moon in the 12th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to unconscious motivations, addictions, institutions, and enemies. The shadow is deeply ingrained in anything that is hidden. By its very nature, the Black Moon is hidden, making this placement difficult to understand. There is often a side to us that is unknown to most people. We may have a degree of emotional suffering that is not evident to others until they get to know us.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is our ability to empathize with others. We seem to easily give to others that which we may not be able to give to ourselves. We are complex people who can handle complex tasks and material with aplomb.

╚══════════════ ⛧ ══════════════╝

"Primary fears subvert our personal growth and feelings of happiness. Oftentimes they impede our success because fear is what stops us cold in our tracks when we are venturing into unknown territory. Our choices and actions are directly proportional to the level of control our shadow exerts over us. When the fear that is contained in the shadow side is dominant, we feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied." - (Walker, 2011)

Reference:

Walker, L., 2011. The Astrology of the Black Moon: A Guide to Healing the Shadow Side. Austin, Texas: The Dog Publishing.

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huhniebowl · 2 months

Text

French Toast?

dominic fike x reader

warning(s); none!

Listen to 7 hours when reading!:)

a/n: yeah, im whipping these mf's OUT! thank you for this yummy request!

this is short but fun. also calling myself out heavy here...i 100% went through both the justin bieber and bts phase...

*still editing this a bit, so bear with me!*

You don’t obsess.

You’ve never had a One Direction phase. You never had the primal urge to deck your walls with Justin Bieber posters, and you never succumbed to the fanfictions of BTS.

You’re firm on the narrative that obsessing over someone who has no idea who you are, a complete waste of time. So you never indulged.

So why is it that you’re leaning against a barricade, a sign below your feet with, “Dominic, play your unreleased shit!” written in big sparkly bubble letters.

Pierced tits showing nice and pretty under a fitted white t-shirt you made just for the show.

“Fuck me Dominic Fuck!” ironed on the front. His actual last name printed small and in parentheses under the second fuck.

Your wordplay landed perfectly. Other fans coming up to you with laughs and praise.

"You know," Ian, your best friend's boyfriend, begins, giving a playful glance as you slip your phone into your mini purse, "I still can't believe you've succumbed to this."

"Ian's got a point," Aria chimes in, leaning into him.

"You beat the One Direction phase, but this? This is the one you can’t beat?” She raises an eyebrow.

You roll your eyes.

"Fuck off," You start, uncrossing your arms and sliding your manicured nails into the pockets of your low-rise jeans, "This is perfectly normal, thank you very much. Mind your business."

You jut your hip out, and lean your weight to your right leg.

"Besides, I’d rather this than the Larry allegations.” You stick your tongue out.

Aria gasps, "You didn't!"

"Oh, she most certainly did," Ian confirms with a nod, stepping out of the way.

Before you can revel in your victory, Aria launches herself at you, locking you in a loose headlock. Laughter fills the air as she swings you around, and soon, the three of you are engrossed in conversation.

Occasionally pestering Ian to snap some photos of you and Aria as the field begins to fill up.

Amidst the chatter, you lose track of time.

Engaging with a girl behind you who complimented your shirt. You share a laugh with her as you recall having to fight with a 10-year-old for the last pack of sparkly iron-on letters at Michaels.

You’re handing her phone back with your number saved when the lights start to dim, and whip around to your bestfriend, smiling big.

"Oh my fuck, it's time, it's time!" You squeal, grabbing onto her arm.

Your heart races, pounding against your ribs, as adrenaline courses through your veins.

With the rest of the crowd, you scream at the top of your lungs, cupping your hands around your mouth to amplify the sound.

A single bulb illuminates the stage and outsteps Dominic. Bathed in golden light.

Your breath catches in your throat, and your eyes widen at the sight of him so close.

He looks unreal.

Dominic extends his hands in his signature heart as the opening instrumental of "How Much Is Weed" begins to play.

You steal a glance at Aria, both of you screaming the first few lyrics together before dancing. Shaking your heads, and moving your hands as you rap the lyrics bar for bar.

Completely losing yourselves in the moment.

About 30 minutes into his set, Dominic launches into "7 Hours," your favorite off the album.

Aria shouts, and it rings with your own, as you both grasp each other's shoulders in anticipation. She knows you’ve been waiting for this one.

"I just wish that you would move round me, move round me," Dominic's voice fills the air, wisping goosebumps over your body.

You find yourself captivated.

Unable to put into words how hearing the song live feels. There's a rawness to his voice that transcends the studio version and you wish you could forever hear it like this.

Closing your eyes, you give in to the pulsating rhythm, slowly spinning in a circle and moving your hips in a way that's usually reserved for after a few tequila shots.

The new friend you made earlier joins in, hyping you up alongside Aria, while the golden stage lighting envelops you in its warm glow.

It's a sensation you haven't felt in ages, an intoxicating blend of music and friends. You feel comfortable in your skin, like you're hottest here, and you poke your ass out just a bit during your last twirl.

As the chorus returns, you throw your hands up in the air and lean against both girls, belting out the lyrics with all your heart while swaying to the beat.

As you open your eyes, momentarily blinded by the lights, a chill runs through you.

You find yourself locking eyes with Dominic, his gaze piercing and intense as he sings. His eyes linger on your face before trailing down to your body, a faint grin tugging at the corners of his lips as if he's reading the words on your shirt.

Just as quickly as the moment began, Dominic diverts his attention back to the crowd.

You try to shake off the idea that he was actually looking at you. There’s no way, you tell yourself; surely, he was just scanning the audience, his eyes drifting past you to someone else in the sea of fans.

But then, he glances over at you again, and again, and another time after that.

It became clear that he’s singling you out amidst the sea of faces. His eyes, pools of depth and intensity, captivating you with each lingering look.

Entire verses pass with your eyes locked in a silent exchange, a language of longing? Desire? You're not sure, but you know you don't want him to look at anyone else around you like this.

You're in awe by the intensity of his attention.

Sooner than you'd like, his second segment ends. And the world that was created just for you two, shatters.

You let out a breath and try to calm how jittery you feel. Nerves running wild as you get ready to hold up your little sign, and brace yourself for what's to come as Dominic prepares to address the audience.

"There's a girl up here," he laughs, "Who, I swear I locked eyes with for the majority of that set." The crowd erupts into screams.

Glancing over at your best friend, your eyes widen. When you turn back toward the stage, Dominic is indeed looking right at you.

"What's your name?" He asks, bending down on the edge of the stage and holding his mic out to you.

With your stomach in knots, you manage to speak your name into the mic without stuttering, thanks to the grace of whatever god is out there.

Dominic attempts to repeat it but ends up completely butchering it. Seeing your laugh as you shake you head, he places the mic back to your lips, clearly hears your name, and pronounces it correctly.

"That's a beautiful name," He grins, "Not as beautiful as you though." The screams ring louder and your eyebrows raise.

You're not sure if you're still breathing at this point. Dominic backs up towards his mic stand and leans on it.

"Her shirt says 'Fuck me Dominic Fuck,'" He announces with a shake of his head, "My last name in the tinest font possible under the fuck that should be Fike." The crowd roars, and Dom lets out a breathless chuckle.

"I don't know," He drawls out your name, his voice carrying a playful tone as he sways with his mic stand, commanding the stage with effortless charm.

"I'd be down, but at least take me out to dinner first?" He tilts his head with a simper, sending the fans into a frenzy.

Aria curses excitedly, her phone camera poised to capture the entire moment.

Feeling a surge of confidence, you find your voice again and begin shouting something back, prompting Dominic to step forward, thrusting the mic in your direction.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Let's go get french toast after this," You offer. "The thick kind, not the thin shit."

His laughter rings out boyishly and he throws his head back.

It's a sound that makes your stomach flutter, the only sound you ever want to hear.

"I'm not usually like this, I swear," Dominic points, his movements fluid as he untangles himself from his orange mic cord.

"ButImdownmeetmebackstage. Okaynextsongletsgo!" He talks so fast that you almost didn't hear, and your mouth drops before you laugh.

It's loud, and unfiltered, and you just can't believe your life right now.

Especially when one of the stage crew members hands you a backstage lanyard over the barricade. Your ears ring at the amount of screams that comes from the fans around you.

For the umpteenth time tonight, Dominic catches your eye, and with a wink he launches into AntPile.

You blow him kiss, and goofily wink back.

You know he saw it.

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