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sins0fthefather · 2 months

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Wrath.

Jeff the Killer HCs:

General HCs:

Full Name: Jeffrey Alexander Woods (Only responds to Jeff though. Best case scenario if you call him his full name is he’ll ignore you, worst case scenario is him flipping his shit on you)

Age: 22-25 (Based on where in the story a character study/fic takes place)

Birthday: September 22 (Older than Liu by 2 years)

Wasian— Father is Chinese, mother is a born n’ raised Texan

Biromantic, Demisexual

Has autism, C-PTSD, BPD (contributor to his auditory hallucinations), NPD, ASPD, and BDD

Right Handed

6’1 (185~ cm)

Covered in burn scars, most noticeably on his chest, forearms, and back

He uses white facepaint, it makes his face’s silhouette look “cleaner” in his eyes

His cuts have healed up for the most part, although he’ll have moments where he relapses and cuts at them again. The ends will also sometimes tear if he does something like laugh too hard.

Very touchy with other people, but he despises being touched first. He prefers to initiate physical contact- both because of the control aspect of it and because of his general distrust of others.

His sense of humor waxes and wanes from extreme condescension to the most morbid sentences you’ve ever heard. Half of the time it doesn’t even sound like a joke.

Reckless driver, cursed with terrible road rage

Smokes cigarettes, his brand of choice is Marlboro

Drinks vodka straight as if it were water

I feel like his favorite band would be Tool or Slipknot. His music taste is just metal and dad rock.

Was brought up in a Catholic school for most of his life, although he obviously doesn’t keep up with the practice anymore. This is a big catalyst for why he develops a god complex however since he “has authority over life and death”— something unique only to gods from what he was taught.

Very observant of the people around him. He memorizes speech patterns, demeanors, even the way people walk. He’s gotten to the point where he can read people and their intentions well before they’re explicitly stated, making it much easier for him to spot a lie. However this also makes it much easier for him to tell when he’s truly pushing somebody’s buttons, and there’s nothing he loves more than pushing people past their limit.

Always stealing glances of himself in any mirror he walks past

He’s an opportunistic killer. Limiting himself to patterns clashes with the creativity and the thrill of the moment to him. However, there are specific elements of a kill he will often repeat if the mood strikes him. An example of this would be often including strangulation (albeit usually not the direct cause of death) to reflect his acquired need for control in all moments of his life. Sometimes he will also pose bodies in a “prayer” position to call back that god complex I mentioned.

He doesn’t always kill people immediately. If someone catches his eye, usually because he finds them beautiful in some aspect, he’ll take it a step further. He has no problem with being patient when the situation arises for it- stalking the person, learning their habits and schedules, the whole shebang. He’ll then slowly start to ruin said person’s life, isolating them through the slaughter of those closest to them and destroying any sense of peace and security they once had. He’s the sound that goes -bump- in the night. He’ll toy with his food until he eventually grows bored, disposing them like all the rest. After all, how dare someone else try to be beautiful in his presence- a punishment of the highest order is necessary.

His anger can be very… explosive. He doesn’t stick around very long for enough people besides victims to see it, but it can be as unpredictable as his own kills. It’s worse when he’s silent in his anger however, since with the former you at least have enough of a warning to brace yourself.

Backstory-Centric HCs:

(TW: csa, murder, mutilation, religious trauma, general stuff)

Takes place in college. Jeff is 22 at the start while Liu is 20.

Instead of being a one-off instance, Jeff and Liu have been subjected to bullying/borderline harassment since middle school. This builds up Jeff’s gradual distrust of others and leads to him shutting himself off from his peers.

Most of said bullying revolved around their mixed race situation. It only got worse as Jeff shut himself off and Liu became a people pleaser.

The two didn’t even have peace at home, since their parents were sexually abusive and excused it through their religion. It was “all apart of god’s love” as they said. This + the bullying leads Liu to develop DID and kickstarts Jeff’s resentment towards their parents. It also led Jeff to develop a twisted belief on what love and beauty is since god apparently “favored” the beauty of his parent’s form of “love.”

On one particular instance of bullying/harassment, a small group of people he grew up with planned on jumping and mugging Jeff behind a bar. Things escalated when Jeff retaliated in self defense, beating his aggressors with a nearby pipe found laying against a dumpster. He didn’t leave unscathed however, since one of the attackers dropped a lighter into the flammable materials (alcohol, trash, etc) that had been scattered in the fight, planning on making everyone go down in that moment. Jeff managed to survive (albeit with severe burns along his body) after being found by an employee who went to go check out the noise/smell of smoke, but the others succumbed to their wounds.

While in a heavy state of shock and psychosis (paired with being drugged up out the wazoo at the hospital) his usual unchecked auditory hallucinations worsened, leading his mind to trick him into believing this situation was a sign from god- that he was supposed to survive while his tormentors burned. Paired with his already twisted concepts of love and beauty, he began to believe that his burns were part of god’s plan to make him more beautiful- because he was favored.

This only gets worse when he’s released from the hospital’s custody due to a neglect in checking his mental state. After being sent home with his family and therefore being thrown back into the abusive environment he hoped to escape when going to college he ends up experiencing a psychotic break, mutilating himself in the process.

When his parents catch him, they attack him. In their eyes he had disgraced them, no longer upholding the “beauty” of heaven that they enforced. He ends up killing them in self defense, but furthers it by mutilating their bodies in an act of defiance induced by his break. He believes he’s outdone god in this moment, deluding himself into thinking he’s on the same level (or even better) than god.

While overcome by his psychotic break, he ends up severely wounding Liu after he wakes up to check out the noise. It becomes a conspiracy on if Liu survived or not since his body was never found by authorities.

The reason why Jeff continues on his spree after these instances is the feel of control he gets. After being forced into submission by those around him for so long, he finally feels a stable sense of power over those he deems as less than him.

He ends up wandering throughout the states after this, hopping from town to town. He never stays in one place for long, although sometimes he’ll revisit his home town to give the urban legend fanatics something to fear again.

#long post woo #questions encouraged teehee #jeff the killer x reader #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta/you #creepypasta #headcanon #headcanons #jeffrey woods #homicidal liu #rewrite #writers on tumblr #the autism is autisming

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wrotethisat12 · 8 months

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Old habits

pairing: Natasha Romanoff x reader

request:

Hiya! Is it possible for you to do a y/n x Natasha where y/n sometimes gets teased by her teammates as a joke . The result for that is that she ends up throwing up what they eat this started at a young age aswell so its like a relapse ❣️

can you include Natasha also seeing sh scars and she gets worried but y/n has been clean for a while so they tell her that.

Thank you!

Length: medium?

Tw: pûrg!ng, mentions of past s3lf harm, eat1ng d1sorders, mention of fire (metaphorically), ummm a comment about somebody’s ass at the beginning too.

this can be interpreted as either platonic or romantic, I didn’t specify the relationship. Not proofread.

please if you ever feel like this I have open dms and open arms I’m here for you, please find some help.

“Ooh, you’ve got some ass to grab, L/n!”

You tried to hide your flinch. They don’t know. They didn’t mean it. Calm down. You kept running, ignoring the comment of your teammate, who was sitting on the edge of the field with sweaty hair and a Nalgene water bottle. I am beautiful. I am healthy. I am loved. You repeated the affirmations that your therapist, Miriam, had taught you.

By the time you had finished your laps, most of the burning wildfire in your head from the comment was gone. You sat down next to your teammates and laughed with them, drinking your water.

“Hey.” Natasha, a fiery redhead, had finished her laps and sat down next to you. The two of you had never been close, having just met each other this year, but she seemed pretty nice. You turned towards her.

“Guess I beat you this time,” you said.

“this time.”

when the rest of the team finished running, one of you ordered pizza, and you all ate it next to the field.

nononono don’t- you took a bite of it, eyes nervously glancing around to see if anybody had noticed your struggle.

No one. Good.

after dinner, you took your time in the locker room, making sure that you were the last to leave. Before you left, you went into one of the bathroom stall and, as quietly as you could, rid your body of its dinner.

———

Nat’s pov:

through the rest of the week, Natasha noticed a change in you. You could never finish your laps before her, often ending last, you avoided everybody, and you always left last. She was beyond worried.

one night, she decided to stay late to see what was happening. She stood on the toilet seat of the far right stall, where no one ever went because of an unsavory amount of spiders, and peeked through the crack. She saw you step out of a shower and walk into a stall. Then, after a minute or two, she heard gagging noises.

Oh no. She realized what you were doing and the blood drained from her face. She rushed into your stall, which you had not bothered to close. Powerless to stop you, she kneeled behind you and hers your hair back, a hand on your shaking back.

Your pov:

this had become a routine. Soccer, dinner, food, purge. This Friday, as usual, you had done the regular pattern, and now you were here, bent over the toilet again.

a hand pulled your hair away from your face and then a matching one settled on your back. Who the fu- when you were done, you pulled your head away from the toilet shakily.

a pair of green eyes looked at you, forehead tight-knit with worry. Natasha grabbed a piece of toilet paper and wiped off your mouth. After that, you leaned against the side of the stall. Natasha did the same, wrapping her arm around your body, which was still shaking.

“so… you wanna tell me what’s going on?” Natasha asked.

“I… I did this a lot, back in middle school and high school. But my parents found out when I was fifteen, and they made me go to therapy. I got better. But now…”

“so… what happened?”

“Carol and Maria… you know how they kind of hit on everyone on the team?”

Natasha nodded.

“so…” your cheeks heated up from embarrassment and shame. “They made a comment about… me having more butt than I used to…” tears started to slip from your eyes, and you expected Natasha to walk away.

surprisingly, she did no such thing. She pulled you into her chest, where you sobbed unapologetically.

When you were done, you sat up straight again.

“I’m taking you out to dinner,” Natasha told you, “and you’re gonna stay with me the whole time after, okay?”

you nodded and stood up to wash your hands and rinse out your mouth. When you reached the sink, you rolled up your sleeves.

you heard a gasp from Natasha. She ran over to you and made you sit down on a bench by the lockers.

“are these new?!” She asked, gently holding your forearms in her soft hands. “Please, are you cutting yourself?” Her hands were shaking, as well as her voice.

“Don’t worry, Nat. I’m not cutting, I’ve been clean for two years now.” You hugged her.

“Okay… thank god… and I’m proud of you. For two years. My sister had a struggle with self harm, and… it was really bad, to see her like that.”

“I understand… I promise, Nat, I’ll try to get better.”

you washed your hands, picked a restaurant, and drove off in Natty’s car.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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AITA for dropping a friend after she was groomed again?

my (16f) best friend (15f) and I have been best friends for about 3 years. Recently, she has been dating older and older guys. It started as a 17 year old, which is not that bad but it slowly got worse. Then she started dating a 18 year old online, then a 19 year old marine. Then a 21 year old online. Each time I told her the same thing.

We have both been groomed in the passes, we both know how bad it is. Stop talking to older men online, every time you end up relapsing and getting hurt.

Everytime she says she is old enough to be with older men and that this one is different.

It is so hard. I would tell someone but when I discussed going to a school counselor she told me she would kill herself. I didn't bring it up again.

I only barely kept her from meeting up with a frat bro in his 20s.

Everytime it ends the same, she starts sexting with them, they send pics, she gets asked for pics and refuses and they dump her, then next month she is coming to terms with being groomed.

I don't know what I could have done. Any even hint of going to someone results in her threatening to kill herself.

Its so draining. It affects me too, I have dealt with this trauma and having it spit at me every month is awful I failed my first test because she kept me up all night venting about how she relapsed and sending me pictures even when I told her I struggled with it and it's triggering.

This last time I was over it. She started dating a guy who was 26. She is 15. I told her was the same as everyone else. She told me I'm just jealous because older men don't like to date me.

It ended the same. He dumped her when she wouldnt send nudes or meet up irl.

The month after she came crying to me at school. She said she didn't know why this kept happening. She didn't know why these guys were always creeps.

I told her that she kept putting herself in this position. She would always assume they loved her. I told her I can't keep doing this and that I can't stay friends with someone who cares so little about the real world.

She called me a jealous fat bitch who can't pull.

I told her that she only pulls pedophiles which is not something to brag about.

She has not talked to me for 2 weeks.

Our mutual friend told me that she has been saying I'm jealous of her looks and charm.

What the fuck do I do.

A lot of my friends say I'm an asshole for blaming her for her kinks. I told them she shouldn't act on kinks that involve pedophiles. She is also 15 and maybe shouldn't be thinking about kinks at all

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #grooming cw #suicide cw

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fuglyjeans · 5 months

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Ok the first time I watched bojack horseman season 6, it sent me in a pretty bad depression spiral. But I just watched it again for the first time in almost 4 years, and it actually fills me with peace. I think I thought the show was saying no one can change, really; bojack will always be just some shitty selfish horse. He can try to do better, but he can't change the lives he's ruined, or outrun the consequences, and he'll always slip up. That made me so sad.

But now i see it more like... yeah hollyhock cut off contact, bojack goes to prison, Diane implies they'll never speak again, Princess Carolyn implies she won't work with Bojack again in the future etc. But at the same time all of these characters still express love to bojack and thankfulness that he was in their life. Even Todd is really kind to bojack in the final episode, despite having every reason to ignore him forever. They draw boundaries as they should. But there's still compassion.

Even though bojack has arguably lost absolutely everything, he's still able to find a little joy in prison putting on a play. And those people will still probably say hi to him from time to time... and after he gets out of prison, who knows, maybe he'll make more progress and find new people, start better relationships. He was already on the up and up... he relapsed, but honestly that happens. Before his relapse he'd been sober for like a year which is pretty amazing.

bojack is messy and his progress is slow. He's deeply flawed and no one is obligated to stay in his life, no one has to respect him after all the shitty things he's done. But what brings him true peace is being honest with himself about that... no memoir or dream role or Oscar win or long-lost sister or university can replace the peace of just being real. Taking accountability. I think by the end bojack is at least starting to realize that and commit it to memory.

I also think it's tempting to feel like post-rehab bojack is all better, he's a new bojack, it's unfair that the reporters and interviewers come after him to ruin his life after he'd just fixed it. He's not the same as Vance Waggoner!! But that's the thing.. even though it's hard, even though it feels unfair, bojack still has the choice to do better. He didn't have to do the 2nd interview. He didn't have to teach at hollyhock's school without asking her if that would be weird. He didn't have to do Horny Unicorn, he didn't have to go back into that party after reading hollyhock's letter. He didn't have to go on one last bender, break into his old house, call Diane and nearly kill himself. It's understandable that he did. It's painful and horrible. But every single time, he could have chosen to walk away, ask for help--maybe not from Diane or PC or Todd, but surely Mr Peanutbutter or he could have just checked into the ER for monitoring. And that would feel sad and humiliating and lonely but he would survive and come out knowing he didnt ruin things this time, even if he felt alone. Its ok to be alone. But he didnt do that... so even though i understand why "new bojack" fucks up again.... it WAS all still his own choice.

I could talk abt this show forever lol God

#blahblahblah #bojack horseman

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pinkwright · 1 year

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in pieces | shuri udaku.

◘ rapper/producer!shuri udaku x fem!singer/director!reader

ƸӜƷ

trope – strangers 2 enemies 2 friends 2 lovers

inspo — in pieces by chlöe.

series warnings — mean!shuri, cold!reader, reader is rlly soft in love, her ex is all she's ever known so pls be gentle w her, toxic relationships, crybaby!reader, insults, gaslighting, yall the exes face claim is brent faiyaz LMFAO (i dont keep up w men so he was the first name to pop up), touchy!shuri, reader folds so bad so easily lol, cheating, reader is petty, relapses in judgement, reader is fucking talented, smitten shuri, vv soft but only later lol, reader can get bitchy, shuri rlly gets under her skin, bitter n spiteful reader, reader's manager is so tired of them, reader has her public persona nailed down, ppl rarely ever see the real her, t'challa is alive but their parents aren't, kissing, crying, dirty talk, strap slinger!shuri, fingering, thigh riding, smau elements, studio sessions, cunnilingus, taunting, edging, slut-shaming, possessive!shuri, sub!reader, dom!shuri, the media loves to dawg on reader for nothing, cursing, humiliation kink, bratty!reader, needy!reader, desperation, sexual identity crisis, patient!shuri, shuri likes to push ppl away, mentions of marriage/engagements, alcohol, anxiety, panic attacks, manipulation, clubbing, might have an open ending idk, there's probs more but oh well.

a/n — i have so many ideas dropping consecutively my bad yall LMFAO anyway this is my first series, n um im nervous badd but we move, i rlly like this idea and the skeleton of it so hopefully it comes off the way i would like it to so my perfectionist spirit can smile LMFAO (i find myself so funny sorry), anyway here’s the masterlist before i ramble more <3

dedications — @zayswriting – i’ve always avoided writing series (hence how i came up w sets LOL) but zay’s my inspo for series like that’s her shit so while the notion is still kinda daunting, she makes me feel like i can try to tackle it at least. @mbakuetshurisprincess constantly revising ur masterlist bc ur pen is just brilliant, u were also a huge inspo in getting me to write a series n u influence my version of shuri a lot. then a few people i admire that keep me posting n make me wanna improve; @saintwrld @vixentheplanet @verachii @naomis-daydream @marsolgy @inmyheadimobsessed <3

oke, that's the end of the sappiness.

⟢˚ @letitias-fav @barkbarkbo @shurismainbxtch @rxcently @shuriszn @lppriceisright @golooktheotherway @motheroffae @vampzxi @mysticalmarss @abenomeiiii @6-noir @izrinmabel1 @vexoshuri @ilovelulu @sookiesookie @ziayamikaelson @sapphicvqmpires @locoforshuri @ventingfanfics @melanated-queens @cuddl3s4shur1

ஜ.

no matter how many times i break, i put myself back together every damn time. oh, mm, can i be honest with you?

y/n l/n, a hyper-pop sensation that is at an all-time high in her career; her two-time grammy winning album, above her oscar-nominated directing debut cemented her as a force to be reckoned with, both in the music and film industry. and soon, in a swoon-worthy show of romance, she's flaunting an envy-worthy diamond ring graciously accompanied by a viral proposal from high school sweetheart and renowned artist, christopher brent wood.

engaged and flourishing, her world is almost too perfect to be true, tainted by the pink shades of blinding love that soon violently shatter at the hands of the only love she's ever known, the fractals painfully littering her being; heavy fragments that she can't seem to even begin piecing together.

in a battle of identity, self-expression, independence, and rebirth; the international superstar finds herself in a back-and-forth battle with herself and the people around her, finding that the dark pit she falls into, may not solely be the demise of her fairytale, but also the fall of the y/n l/n that the public came to know over the years; the catalyst to the redemption arc in finding who she really is, the girl she buried years ago.

⊱ ───── .✶˖⋆࿐ ──── ⊰

➺ CHAPTERS LIST.

[ characters ]

prologue : someone’s calling (chlöe)

— after a lengthy hiatus of absolute silence, y/n drops an ominous track w an even more intriguing visualizer, unrecognizable from her usual sweet hyper pop princess look n sound, n the internet wilds; the rebrand peaking an important person's interest.

...coming soon

one : pray it away

— after facing public humiliation from a cheating scandal that had put y/n in the spotlight she comes back into the spotlight w a haunting single n performance that sparks large controversy along with its acclaim; she meets a certain face that she sasses off too in response to her attitude.

...coming soon

two : body do

— after announcing the drop of her debut album y/n is set on a artist rebrand n her manager knows just the person; so she meets world renowned director/producer shuri udaku who directs her visualiser n the bad blood cause tension to spill.

...coming soon

three : i don’t mind + worried

— y/n l/n new maneater cutthroat persona has the internet fawning over her so imagine their shock when she shows up to the grammys w the same man that was the driving factor to her vicious rebrand n shuri gets a glimpse into the real personality behind the scrutinised pop sensation.

...coming soon

four : for the night

— a glimpse into shuri’s true thoughts about the girl she swears she can’t stand.

...coming soon

five : make it look easy

— when y/n finally tackles the song she couldn't face, the internet starts to rethink their view on the girl they've scrutinised n criticised for the entirety of her career n shuri finds it harder to cut deeper into the broken-down girl.

...coming soon

six : looze u

— y/n can’t stop the flood of emotions that overtake her when she confronts the man who broke her heart, opening the floor for hurtful truths n violent words that leave her reeling in her memories.

...coming soon

seven : told ya + cheatback

— the officially single superstar thinks she deserves a night out seeing as her album debut draws nearer by the day, n the fun night out has surprising outcomes.

...coming soon

eight : heart on my sleeve

– when shuri spits her meanest words yet to the softening star, y/n finds herself pathetically adding a track to her album minutes before its release, much to her fans’ concern n the producer feels stuck in limbo.

...coming soon

epilogue : in pieces

— while the successful album drop feels like a weight lifted off of her chest especially w/ an upcoming oscar performance; she can’t help but find the weight replaced by a certain pretty-eyed producer.

...coming soon

⊱ ───── .✶˖⋆࿐ ──── ⊰

hold me when, hold me when i'm in pieces.

ஜ.

#pinkwrighting ⊹ ۪ ᖭི༏ᖫྀ.#◘ — pink series .ꔫ:*#shuri udaku #shuri x black!reader #letitia wright #black panther #black panther wakanda forever #shuri angst #shuri x reader #shuri x you #shuri smut #shuri fluff #shuri x y/n #shuri black panther #shuri #shuri x fem!reader #shuri imagine

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suckerforcate · 1 year

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Could you please write a Larissa weems x reader angst/song fic inspired by brand new city by mitski?

R is a famous artist who leaves out of the blue and shows up at Nevermore as the new art teacher? Larissa is a fan of their work and is confused why they chose nevermore and learns they were a former student. R has struggled with their mental health and being in the public eye led to drug use but managed to stay clean for their longest period just before/whilst teaching. This comes crashing down when they are having a panic attack before one on one meeting with Larissa because they are head over heels and think that she couldn't possibly like someone like them back and they think that they are going to get fired because they have no confidence in their teaching so they find their old emergency stash in a jacket pocket and take it before the meeting? This leads to a very concerned Larissa as R are acting weird so she questions them about what's wrong and they spill everything about being into them and about their issues since they are very out of it? Larissa basically just takes care of them til they sober up and holds R as they cry about having ruined everything thinking they 100% have no chance now but in fact Larissa loves them and just wants them to be the healthiest version of themself and is sad they didn't come talk to them about their issues sooner?

What'd you take?

Pairing: Larissa Weems x Reader

Word Count: 1953

Warning: mental health problems, drug addiction, relapse, panic attack

A/n: I really hope you like it, I tried to put some of the lyrics into the story. I hope I did alright! <3

Ever since you had been a little child, you had wanted to be a singer. You imagined it would free you from the poor life you had had. Your family never had a lot of money, and you wanted to be able to give them something back. But, turns out famous life isn't that great.

It had been great at the beginning, it felt like a haze. A haze of success and people all around, loving you and your music. But with time you got worse, the pressure that came with standing in the public eye, the massive hate that you received from some people. It overwhelmed you completely, you felt you weren't strong enough. But you had always loved what you were doing, so for quite some time you tried to find ways to withstand the pressure.

Slowly you fell into a serious drug addiction, and while you knew the shit you had brought yourself into, it's hard to stop if you're addicted. In the end your sister had been the one, who pulled you out of the whole you had fallen into. She helped you with quitting the pills and sobered you up.

You didn't plan on going back into show business, the fear of relapse was too great. So you took a little break and searched for a job. It was hard, wherever you applied, people recognised you and made a fuss. You just wanted to have some peace and get away from all the chaos. Your mother actually had the idea, that convinced you.

And that's how you found yourself in the office of Larissa Weems, headmistress of Nevermore Academy.

"Can I just ask, how did you become aware of Nevermore Academy? It's quite unusual for such famous people to apply at a school like ours." You had seen the question roam through her mind since the second you entered her office. As a singer you hadn't used your real name, so the postal apply hadn’t shown Principle Weems who you were. But your face certain had.

"Well, I have been a student her myself, over ten years ago. And I needed some distance from the whole show business. A school in the middle of the woods seems like the perfect match, doesn't it?" To your absolute delight, you got the job. And the day you moved in, was also the day that you had been sober for 200 days. Standing in your own little room in the Academy, proud was the word that came to your mind. You were so proud of you, you hadn't rotten in a whole of despair and addiction, no. You had built up a new life, a healthy life.

That new life was going great. Your students seemed to love you, even though they were a little taken aback the first time they entered the classroom, seeing you as their teacher. But it didn't take them long to recover from the initial shock. You realised you should have probably been a teacher all your life. Yes you loved singing, but this. This healed your heart, it was a passion you had never known to have.

The school and your work there brought you utmost peace and joy and with time you even felt yourself fall in love. While that as itself was wonderful and the most beautiful feeling, it brought a few problems with it. The first and most obvious one being, that you had fallen in love with Larissa. Your boss. Great, right?

At the beginning you hadn't even realised that you were in love with her. You had never been in love, so how do you differ between being in love with someone and just being happy to see them because they're your friend? No idea.

But with time it became obvious even to you. Ian, your favourite colleague had told you a long time before you had known it yourself.

"My god, (Y/n). Don't be so oblivious, you have the biggest crush on that woman." You stared at him in shock.

"What, no! I have not." Ian just grinned, he knew you would realise it yourself sooner or later. In your case it was later. It took you unbelievable long.

But one day you eventually did. You were in the library with Ian and Larissa came over to talk to you. It wasn't anything important, just some things about class. Right before she turned to leave, she looked you up and down and smirked.

"I really like the dress! It makes your pretty eyes pop out." And with that she left, not seeing you blush like crazy. You stared after her, and suddenly you turned to look at Ian.

"Oh god, I'm in love with her." Embarrassed you hid your face in your hands while Ian started laughing so much her had actual tears roll down his cheek. Everyone in the library looked at you, thankfully they hadn't heard your confession though. They just thought Ian was going crazy.

Well that was that.

-----------------

The thing with you in general was, that you were very unsure of yourself and extremely insecure in everything you did. You never felt like you were doing good or like you were enough. And that became quite the problem.

It had been a normal day, classes went quite well, and you had already finished some of your work as Larissa approached you. Face not kind and patient as usual, it looked rather displeased and cold.

"(Y/n), would you come to my office in an hour. We need to talk." You gulped and just nodded, immediately leaving for your room. The look on her face made you panic. All of your insecurities overthrowing your rational thinking.

What if she wants to fire me? I knew I was doing a shit job at teaching. I'm not made for this.

Now even the tiniest chance of her liking me is lost. She probably hates me, how could I have ever thought to have a chance with her. Why on earth would she like me?

You felt your mind getting filled with more and more fears and negative thoughts. Slowly but surely a panic attack was arising. You had been so proud of you new, healthy life, and you were more scared than ever to have that taken away from you.

Your breathing got unsteady, and your chest felt tight. It felt like your body was falling in pieces. Legs giving up underneath you, slowly sliding down the door. You held your trembling hand against your chest in hopes of being calmed by your heart beat, just to find your heart racing. It felt like your blood was passing you by. Still breathing ragged, you clung to the jacket that was hung over the chair next to you, and felt a little packet in it. You immediately knew what it was, and you very well knew how stupid this was. But rationality wasn't your biggest strength right now.

So you took the pills, probably the last ones you still had. It had been your emergency pack, even though for a while now you hadn't thought to ever need them again. Still leaning at your door, your breathing slowly flattened no you didn't feel like chocking anymore. The trembling of the hands decreased, and you could stand up again.

Calmed down now, you left your room and went to Larissa's office. You weren't even scared anymore, who cares if you'll get fired?

"Could I have some water?" Larissa found your behaviour to be extremely strange. Your pupils were extremely dilated, you complained about the heat on her office the whole time. It wasn't hot in her office, not at all.

"(Y/n), that's the third glass of water. You have been here for ten minutes."

"Well, apparently I'm quite thirsty. My, It's hot on here Larissa." That was it, this behaviour was absolutely unlike you.

"Darling, are you feeling alright. I'm a little worried about you?" You just looked at her, not really grasping what was happening.

"I just took a little. Really just a bit." That alarmed Larissa, and she immediately rounded her desk, sitting down next to you.

"What'd you take? Honey, look at me." You felt her take your hands and gently stroke over your pulse point. In hindsight, you weren't exactly sure what made you spill. Her gentleness, the worry in her eyes or your absolute despair.

"I'm so sorry. I've taken the pills. I know I shouldn't have, I- I- If you'll fire me, I can understand that but-" Larissa didn't look angry at all, no, she actually cupped your cheek and brushed the tears away.

"Shhh, Darling. Calm down, what pills?" You had a hard time breathing again, but managed to get some words out.

"My emergency pack. I- I ended my career because I had a drug addiction, but I was clean. I didn't- when I came her ... I hadn't for over half a year."

"It's alright, shh. Let it out, my beautiful dove." She pulled you into her chest and let you cry, hearing her heart beat made you calm down, until your breathing was normal again.

"Ok, love. You know I don't want to push, but I'm also your employer and I need to know what happened. Why did you take the pills?" You washed the tears away, even though that was useless as the next were already on their way. Ashamed you looked to the floor.

"I had a panic attack after you told me we needed to talk. I thought the ground was pulling me down. You looked so- so cold and angry. I thought I did something wrong, that you'd fire me, and I was so scared to lose the life I had so neatly built up again. I love this school and my work here, and I love you, and I was scared that you'd hate me and I- wait, no- what did I just say? No- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." Larissa just pulled you into a warm hug.

"(Y/n), calm down. Firstly, I didn't want to fire you. I'm so sorry that I made you think that. I just had an annoying situation with a student right before that and was a little on edge. I just wanted to talk about a club, you might like to do. Secondly, I don't hate you. I'm not mad about the pill thing, I just wished you would have come to me earlier. Telling me about your problems and fears. I want you to know that I'm always there for you. Because thirdly, I love you." Your eyes widened. All of your fears and thoughts had been absolutely unfounded. You had just assumed things, and you had misjudged her completely. You started to uncontrollably sob at that.

"Hush, love. Please don't cry. All is well." She gently rubbed your back and held you through it all.

"And please, don't think that you have failed your journey on sobriety. You relapsed, yes. But that's not the end of the world. We'll get you sobered up, and I'll stay with you though it all. And if you have any pills left we'll throw them out. I want you to talk to me in the future, if you ever feel like you'll relapse. Failure is a part of success." You nodded your head against her chest. Thankful for whatever fate, that this woman had become a part of your life.

And she held her promise. She helped you throw away the last pills, she was there for you when it got hard. She truly saved you. She and this school, where the best thing that and ever happened to you

#gwendoline christie #gwendoline christie x reader #wlw #larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems x you #larissa x reader #wednesday #principle weems #wednesday netflix #wednsday addams

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yulsbabymama · 3 months

Text

Disventure Camp Headcanons Part 1

AIDEN

Half Argentinian Half French Canadian

Had a huge TOP phase in middle school

Only child

Super good singer but hates hearing his voice

ALEC

Afro-Turkish and Japanese

Diagnosed w Autism when he was a child

Smokes

Started drinking shortly after he got married; relapsed after his separation w his ex

Has an older sister by 7 years

ALLY

Transgirl; came out to her grandfather and he was the only supporter she had

Definitely had obsessive love disorder when meeting Hunter the first time

Super fucking bad at dancing

Likes K-pop (Fromis_9, Stray Kids, Billlie, P1harmony, Enhypen, Stayc, aespa, ITZY)

ASHLEY

Country music defender

will actually die on the Country Music hill

like she's from Texas but she's FROM TEXAS ykwim

Transgirl; realized she was a girl at a young age and transitioned w a supporting family

Would probably roll her eyes at u if u assume she loved AppleJack when she was younger

I mean, she did

but not as much as ppl assume

CONNOR

Jewish

Despite having a booming business, he still doesn't understand technology

but he WAS a boss at programming his MySpace page

"programming is my passion" college dude

Nickelback liker

I'm so sorry

DAN

He and his sister shared a bedroom until she moved out

Actually convinced her to come back home bc he missed her

crying on his knees

"PLEASE COME HOME IT'S SO MISERABLE WITHOUT U THERE I MISS U"

blasting a radio to her favorite songs

did i mention he loves his sister

Pokemon kid

Oh, he's also autistic

DEREK

Half Filipino and half Columbian

Transguy; was an unhappy "girl" growing up and would refuse to listen to anyone who didn't call "her" by Derek

Facebook user

only to troll, tho

He tried trolling on Twitter too but Trevor had to pry the phone out of his hands

Secretly likes Trevor

and by secretly I mean he angry-cried while writing drafted emails of his confession

Barely cries or anything like that, emotionally, but angry-crying is his #1 basically

Is not a registered gun owner

DREW

Other than the notebook, he has a communication device

Adopted

Video games hurt his eyes

so do mobile games

Honestly i think he just needs glasses

likes dogs :)

ELLIE

Half Irish and Half Singaporean

Transgirl; came out in her last year of junior high

Middle child w two sisters

While struggling w her identity, she was a Pick Me girl to fit in #sad!

she ended up giving up on fitting in #gogirl

Malay's her first language

Mom passed when she was little

tolerates cats

FIORE

3/4th Italian 1/4th Chinese

hates horror movies

not bc she's scared of them or anything

she just thinks they suck

forced into a ton of shit to become normal

girlscouts, ballet, soccer, etc

she hated everything

but she can make a good cookie deal

GABBY

Has an unhealthy obsession w watching drag shows

she doesn't understand any of the lingo

she just thinks the outfits r pretty

LPS kid

also watches too much animal documentaries

will actually sit down and say "im bored, time to watch a 6 hour doc on cheetahs"

she just cray cray like that #loveher

unhealthy addiction to stickers

GRETT

Transgirl #slay

was a Toddlers & Tiaras kid

passenger princess

forces Yul to drive her places

they have almost broken up 5 times bc of this

she also genuinely forgot to tell him she was #trans

u should've seen the look on his face

when

yeah

#hedidnotcare

that's ooc but idc

she's bi :3

HUNTER

Half Chinese Half White

Dad left after his youngest sister was born

Lived in China until he was 8

He has autism

Christian btw

like pslam bunch-of-numbers in his bio

can quickly change languages like that

will talk to u in english then will answer his phone in cantonese

texts like a millennial

:/ sorry

smokes

the killers, staind, blink-182, and r.e.m fan

plays the guitar

JAKE

Half Korean Half Japanese

cannot speak those languages fluently, tho

sorry

he and his brother wrestled a lot

his brother would always win

anyways he was a theater kid

but quit bc of some drama

haha. get it ?

one of those gays who cries to mitski & ricky montgomery

but only listens to them when he needs to cry

which is often

JAMES

has been in cringe compilations before

imagine if i just ended this w just that hc

would that be funny

anyways

one of those middle schoolers who was violently supportive of the lgbtq+

like everyone knew he liked boys

except him

loves his younger sister

like a lot

they r bffies

will call her in the middle of the night randomly

"i just posted a new tiktok, go like it."

JENSEN

genuinely have nothing for him

can i just say he's dreamed of men shirtless before and end it at that

um so yeah

#disventure camp

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marvelmaster69 · 4 months

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Just some random headcanons for Tony, Peter, and Bruce, revolving around their mental health and sexual/gender orientation.

TW: Mentions of self-harm in Tony and Bruce's parts.

Tony definitely has ADHD along with PTSD, anxiety, and crippling depression. Because of his ADHD, he often hyper fixates on his projects in the lab. When he does get hyper fixated, he won't leave his lab unless it's to use the bathroom or get something to eat, and even then, it's a very delayed process. The only people who can get him out of his lab when he gets like that is Pepper, Bruce, Natasha, Happy, Rhodey, Morgan, and Peter. He's also Pansexual. During his teenage years, he self-harmed quite frequently. He usually used a blade, cutting his arms but sometimes cutting his thighs and stomach instead if there was the looming threat of someone finding out. He only started his playboy persona after all the scars had faded a bit, so when he was around twenty-two or so.

Peter is a transgender man and openly bisexual. He came out to his Aunt May a few months before he came out as trans, so when he was twelve or thirteen. Tony helped pay for his top surgery and scouted out the best surgeons he could for Peter, and because of his extra fast regeneration, he healed extremely quickly and didn't even scar afterwards. He was so glad not to have to wear a binder during patrol anymore, as it was causing great damage to his ribs and lungs. Even years later, he still randomly gets heartburn, chest pains, and shortness of breath. He doesn't feel like he needs bottom surgery because packers and strap-ons seem to work well enough for him, and MJ doesn't very well care what he does with his privates. He also has ADHD, anxiety, and mild depression. MJ always makes sure to set alarms for him, create a detailed electronic and physical color-coded calendar for him, and send him reminder texts to help with his horrible time blindness. For the most part, lots of reassurance from Tony, Aunt May, MJ, and Ned is enough to kind of help him with his depression enough for him to continue on with his normal day-to-day life without any major interference. To convince Aunt May to put Peter on puberty blockers when he was twelve, he worked together with Ned to create a PowerPoint with the pros and cons and alternatives for puberty blockers.

Bruce is demisexual and asexual, and he's only ever been in three or four relationships in his adult life (as he had a middle school girlfriend that he doesn't really count as 'dating'). He has crippling anxiety, severe depression, and once checked himself into a mental hospital because he felt like he'd end up hurting himself or others around him. He's also very private about his issues, he's one of those people whose thought process is 'well, this could be worse, there are always people out there that have it worse than me'. This is totally random, too, but he hates the color green, it reminds him too much of The Other Guy. He hasn't relapsed in years, but he used to cut almost every week. Tony was actually the one to help him stop, as Tony himself has a history of self-harm and understood everything Bruce was going through, or at least tried to understand, unlike a lot of other people in Bruce's life, which he appreciates more than Tony will ever understand He doesn't have any scars on his arms, though, as he would often works closely with children and didn't want to taint their innocence, so he usually stuck to his stomach and thighs.

Sadly, that's all I have time to write but I'll definitely be back sometime within the next few days with another one of these with some other characters. I want to eventually do all The Avengers in a series of sorts. By the way, how are we liking the colored text?

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zombie-rott · 10 months

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"Burying myself alive."

Prompt: “Have you eaten anything?”

Pairing: Established Papa IV/ Reader

POV: You / Your

Pronouns: She/her

Synopsis:

You haven't been coping lately, and things are getting stressful as the new tour dates approach. You don't know how you're going to survive without him, especially when feeling so vulnerable, and take to running to calm your anxiety.

But, even as a seasoned runner, you neglect yourself. Slowly you began slipping back into a world you promised you never would.

Notes:

This is a short, two-chapter (because it was way too long for one Tumblr post) personal piece. It is based on a conversation had by my husband and me many years ago after I relapsed pretty hard into Anorexia Nervosa. I don't have a lot of memories from that time (or previous relapse because, well, long-term side effects), but this is one of the conversations I will never be able to forget.

It's also now that I realise all the fluff I write about Copia is literally just how my husband is. Do with that what you may.

!WARNINGS!

Mentions of anorexia nervosa, eating disorders, and mental health issues.

Part II

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Abbey had wonderful and expansive grounds, lined with beautiful evergreens and towering willow trees. There was a lake to the east of The Abbey and flower gardens maintained by Elder Primo to the South. Better still, there were pre-laid stone trails twisting and winding throughout. Perfect for evening strolls or morning activities.

Specifically your favourite thing; Running.

It was a hobby you had taken up during high school and carried through into your adult life. Throughout your life, it had gone from being a hobby to being a way in which you could release your emotions and practice self-care. When your mind began to feel fogged and overwhelmed with anxiety, you took to the cobbled paths.

Over the years you worked and lived in The Abbey, you’d encouraged quite a few others to join you. Specifically, the ghouls of various Papa’s who enjoyed the freedom to release pent-up energy when they weren’t performing.

You’d even tried to convince Copia out on a run when you’d first established yourselves as a couple. But he shot that idea down, instead suggesting that sex with you was enough exercise for him.

To show his support, however, he met you at the end of your route each morning. It had been well over a year and six months, and he was still doing it. And each morning he brought a different treat. Sometimes it was just coffee, either black with sugar, or a light latte. Other times he brought juice, croissants and even, on one occasion, muffins. He would walk you back to their quarters where he often joined you in a shower before you both went on with the rest of your days.

However, recently things had become rather stressful in The Abbey. Your paperwork never seemed to end, and Copia was always caught up in rehearsals or meetings about the upcoming tour.

Ah. The tour.

You were avoiding thinking about it, for each time a new tour began, you were left without your Copia. The king-sized bed was suddenly three miles long, cold and empty.

You thought you would be used to it by now, but you still felt the ache in your chest. Of course, he would call often, but it wasn’t the same. No one lay sleeping while you got up early to run. No one was there with coffee at the finish line. No one was there to help you wash off the sweat and shin splints. And, worst of all, no one was there to help chase away the darkness.

Copia was aware, of course. He knew how you felt and, truly, leaving you broke him also. But you both knew that, while it wasn’t what you wanted, it was what needed to happen. It was the will of The Unholy One to spread the word through music. And Copia was his chosen one. All he asked in return was to travel the world, doing tour after tour, and enslaving as many as possible.

Copia was nothing if not a good servant.

You’d managed it, but you can’t lie and say it was easy. Things really took a turn for the worst during their last tour. You had struggled with a nasty bout of depression brought on by several little things, and exacerbated by his long absence. As a result, you experienced a little bit of a relapse in regard to disordered eating habits. Anorexia Nervosa, in particular, You truly had thought that you were far enough into recovery to ever fall backwards. You knew the signs to look out for and, therefore, it wasn’t an issue. You’d catch it before it became a problem!

Except, you didn’t.

You’d tried downplaying it, of course, but Copia knew something was off. He just didn’t know what. He sent word for his older brother and former Papa, Terzo, to ensure your safety, and act as counsel if needed. After a few weeks, you called Copia to confess, after having had a particularly eye-opening conversation with Terzo.

You could still remember that phone call and the pit it opened in your stomach. You felt like vomiting with each word that came out of your mouth and, had it not been for Terzo sitting beside you, you wouldn’t have gone through with it.

It had been a very dark time in your life, a time that you didn’t like to think about very much. So, naturally, as the new tour dates approached you found it harder and harder to stay positive. You were trying to prepare yourself mentally, telling yourself it was alright. You had done this before and while the last time was hard, having Terzo to talk to had made it easier. He was sweet, if not a little sleazy. And a surprisingly good listener.

But this time the anxiety was coiling in your gut like a vicious snake. You had no appetite, no motivation, and no way to get out of your head other than to run. So run is what you did. Sometimes three times a day. Copia met you after each morning route, but not the others. It was almost like you were trying to condition yourself to not see him there as you approached your metaphorical finish line.

A few days before the beginning of the tour things had ramped up. The nausea was wreaking havoc on your palate, and everything tasted disgusting. In fact, you didn’t even feel hungry, why bother trying to force yourself to eat? Instead, you gulped down a few ounces of water and laced up your running shoes. You were determined to get out of your head this morning. The last few days had been rough. The stress even led to an argument last night about something so stupid and insignificant that you can’t even remember what it was. You just know it hurt like hell to hear him raise his voice like that.

You shook off the memory and made your way to the usual starting point.

It was cold outside, the leaves of the trees were beginning to change in colour and fall from their stems. You pulled your scarf up to your nose and, seeing your starting point in front of you, started into a light trot. It wasn’t long until you were hitting your stride, but you weren’t gaining as much momentum as usual. In fact, your legs felt weaker, and you weren’t able to catch your breath in the same way. For the first time in a while, you slowed to a quick walk, and even then you felt a stitch in your side.

Deep down you knew it was because you were running on empty. You’d barely eaten a decent meal in the last few days and had even been forgetting to drink water. Everything was just feeling so difficult, and basic self-care had become so tedious. And then there was the anxiety eating away at your insides.

You frowned. This wasn’t helping at all. Running was rushed, it was the feeling of your feet hitting the ground hard, and your breath catching in your chest. It was endorphins running wild and allowing the spillways to lay open, releasing emotion.

Walking, even as briskly as you were, was time to think. You could feel your stomach churning with hurt, both over your argument and what was to come. Your eyes stung, and your throat hurt as you battled to fight back your tears.

But it didn’t work. The emotions were too hard to hold back, and you pulled your scarf to cover your nose as you allowed the tears to fall. They were warm against your cold cheeks.

All the while you walked your routine.

#the band ghost #ghost band #ghost bc #ghost #ghost fanfiction #ghost band fandom #copia x reader #papa emeritus iv #papa copia #fluff #comfort #my fanfics #my fanfic

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rancidpancakebatter · 1 year

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It's so weird to hear people talk about euphoria when they themselves have not been directly harmed by addiction. My father was an alcoholic for most of my life (he's six years sober btw and I am so proud of him) and I also struggle with addiction (nicotine has me in a fuckin chokehold rn but there were many other substances before that).

When I watch euphoria it's almost healing for me. They show addiction in such a raw and ACCURATE way. They don't glorify or demonize it. They show how the same substance can be used casually and for fun for others but also how it can completely rule over others. (Think of the way Maddie and Cassie take molly at the fair verses every time Rue gets high).

Rue is deeply flawed. She is truly damaged.

But not irredeemable.

They show how "fun" drugs are for Rue but also the great trial of detoxing. That scene where she's practically drooling and weak and shaking so intensely that she can't even open a jolly rancher. That is so real. I cannot even fully articulate how very real that is.

They show her battle with mental illness and self-medicating. They show the complicated dynamic of loving someone while they are going through this.

I love the writing for her family so much. Her mother is objectively great but doesn't always respond "correctly". She's not always sweet and kind towards Rue and her addition. She tells Rue that she doesn't care if she wants to "kill [herself] doing drugs, go ahead" and that "If I have to choose between losing one daughter or two, I'm gonna fight to save [Gia]" and that's not a very kind, motherly thing to say. But it is so justified and a very genuine and truly exhausting thing you would (and I have) say to some. Even one you love so deeply.

Her sister looks up to Rue. She loves her sister and is her greatest enabler. She is constantly manipulated by Rue and by the end you see her truly distraught by her sister's relapse. But unlike her mother, she doesn't allow herself to be truly angry. Gia still tries to defend her sister, even to herself. Rue's mentor tries to get her to admit that she's angry, hurt, and she can't.

in Rue's ending monologue she says that she stayed sober for the rest of the school year and "I wish I could say that was a decision I made...I don't know if this feeling will last forever, but I am trying." And that's something that I felt in my bones. It's embedded within me. As is the way she describes getting into drugs. She is a very round character and not just a caricature of the classic "drugged-up cool teen."

It's odd to me when people say they love this "over-the-top drama" (which it definitely is at times I'm not even gonna lie) and then use scenes of Rue being an addict as evidence. It's crazy to me that to most people Rue's addiction is outlandish and wild when it's very...true-to-life. just not to their life.

I love Rue. I love that Zendaya loves Rue. I love that people love Rue. Because I see so much of myself in her. For better or for worse. It means so much to me that she is and can be loved. And I think it's vital when we live in a time where the "woke" majority will say that addiction is an illness but then make jokes at the expense of addicts, that we have a character that is an addict. But also a young girl, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a person.

#rancid rambles #euphoria #rue bennett #zendaya #zendaya coleman #euphoria season two #addiction

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pyropsychiccollector · 8 months

Note

yo its been a bit but im back again with the nagi harem question. so i was on tumblr and saw ur post on hiromi and it got me thinkin on how theyd react to her. like in canon everything kinda just, blew over. Like everything she did and even trying to burn the school building down and just the talk at the end of the festival thing and that was it (i dont remember too much, i dont like her and its been a bit since ive watched AC). In canon im guessing everyone didnt wanna interfere too much, cause its his family stuff. But if he's got a protective harem then it might take a bit of effort to get them to not do anything to her, especially the ones also coming from terrible parents.

Its nagisa so he would still care about her like

Nagi: "ik she can be... reactive, but shes still my mom. I cant just leave her..."

Koro "He's right, while its understanable you would be upset with her, the issue lies between her and nagisa. Trying to force anything may set her off.

...

But if you still plan on anything remember that making a good first impression on your parnters parents is a big step for a relationship :)"

Kaede-chan is, frankly, terrified of Hiromi. ^^;;; Once you get past her arc with the tentacles, there's nothing protecting her from that crazy woman. ... Even if Hiromi does mellow out and isn't prone to... screaming as much anymore. Kaede-chan doesn't wanna poke that slumbering bear, and prefers keeping Nagisa from "home" as long as possible~... She tries being open-minded for Yukiko-chan and Nagisa's sake, but she's very leery. After all, she left her sister to someone like Yanagisawa, and that ended up badly... ^^;;;

Yukiko is one of the ones with most experience in working with difficult parents. She understands Nagisa's feelings the most about wanting to stay with Hiromi, even if his mom has hurt him over the years.

Rio-chan's at the forefront of those not okay with Hiromi, even after she mellows down. Kinda hard to "forgive and forget" when the mom goes and dresses Nagisa up like a girl for years, making him grow his hair out and act like he's the "girl" Hiromi always wanted... Rio might be guilty with regards to crossdressing Nagisa, too... But that was never serious for her or a jab at Nagisa's manhood or anything like that. She might tolerate Hiromi because Nagisa wants them to try getting along with her, but Rio's always on the watch for any relapsing.

Rinka's kinda like Rio in that regard. ^^;;; She's used to strict parents, too, but what Hiromi did was... very extreme. She'll grudgingly give Hiromi a chance cuz Nagisa wants them to, but Rinka is definitely keeping a watchful eye out...

Yuzuki-chan... Probably closest to a neutral party you'll get. She doesn't like that Hiromi's been abusive for years, so she understands where Kaede, Rio, and Rinka are coming from with their distrust. But she can also understand Yukiko and Nagisa wanting to give second chances. Yuzuki tries going with what everyone agrees with, as much as possible.

Touka-chan... She's in Kaede, Rio, and Rinka's camp. Doesn't forgive easily. And like Rio and Rinka, Touka isn't above speaking her mind when Hiromi gets frustrated with Nagisa about something. Doesn't want any relapses to happen here; no more crossdressing, accept Nagisa for who he is. :3

#assassination classroom #Nagisa Shiota #Hiromi Shiota #Kaede Kayano #Yukiko Kanzaki #Rio Nakamura #Rinka Hayami #Yuzuki Fuwa #Touka Yada

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newvegasceo · 1 year

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tagged by @faarkas (thank you, my oc’s badly needed sorting and updating)

tagging (those who i know have ocs) @cryptcombat @beemot @vilkaas @cultistbase @minthara @virmire @malefiicarum 💗

» favorite oc

my favorite not because he’s interesting. not because he’s got a complex backstory. no. he reminds me of the good ol’ days back in 2017 when i would play with my friends at 4am because all 6 of us were in different timezones. he’s a reminder i’ve got pages upon pages of destiny 2 fanfics and lore that i need to expand on. and i just think he’s neat

» newest oc

two weeks ago i installed gw2, created kel, played for 2 hours and uninstalled. relapsed two days later and reinstalled again. now i’m 18 hours in and i can’t stop thinking about him. he’s named after the word cauliflower

» oldest oc

created on december 30th 2010. helped me realize i love women, aliens/monsters and introduced me to an incredible world that i’m invested in till this day. she’s the closest to a self-insert oc, provided i was in the military commiting warcrimes. her family is my family. i can’t thank jennifer hale enough

» meanest oc

most of the gods in the dragon age universe stay silent because this motherfucker walks the earth and his ears are always perked up. he’s a plague. a flood. the disease. it’s either his way or the axe. leader of, what is essentially, a cult and the reason solas is actively balding

» softest oc

my cutie pie. my babygirl. she loves helping others and is a devoted friend/ally, which usually leads to people taking advantage of her. tali’s hatred of johnny is only rivaled by vincent’s but for completely different reasons - johnny is too selfish and self-centered for her liking

» most aloof/standoffish oc

years of arasaka-issued meds and hormones lead to him becoming very distant. he won’t socialize out of his own volition and you won’t see him out during the day. most likely he’s already ghosted and doxxed you. he’s living and breathing the netrunner lifestyle every day. only recently, he started to open up after leaving arasaka and abandoning the corpo life (did he really?)

» dumbest (affectionate) oc

a mage-hating elf, a mage rights activist, and two blood mages walk into the chantry - what happened next will NOT surprise you. he’s actually the smartest person playing the dumb guy but he’d never admit it. uses humor and quips to keep his friends on their toes. thought it would be funny to pursue a man that hates mages only to find the love of his life. just a silly guy here to tell horrible dad jokes

» smartest oc

born to constantly play 5d chess, juggling her republic and imperial alliances even in her sleep. she’s what i wish i was at school, a big ass nerd that manages to pull the baddest princes and outlaws in the galaxy. also, one of the oldest oc’s i’ve ever made. the archetype for all my other oc’s that i inevitably turn into hidden agents or information brokers

» oc i’d be friends with irl

my sleep paralysis demon, my bestie, my lover, my hater and my pal. chaotic neutral that i would love to follow just to know what shit they end up stirring. not the smartest but has the sharpest tongue in faerûn. i think he’d make me laugh a lot and we’d get in all sorts of trouble and we’d kiss and make out under the apple trees like friends do...

#no pressure to respond for those tagged #you were the first ones that i remembered having few ocs #oc:#oc #im not tagging the kids but i'll list the games #destiny #guild wars 2 #mass effect #dragon age #cyberpunk 2077 #swtor #baldur's gate 3 #long post

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krackkokichi · 8 months

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Fazbear Frights Ranking

Now that I've read all the Fazbear Frights stories (I'm super late, I know), I decided to briefly record my thoughts on them. (under the read more)

I don't care about ridiculous premises, because if you don't engage with them, you're not gonna like the story no matter what. I don't care about lore connections, and I especially don't care about epilogue connections. I also don't notice most pacing issues if I am interested in the characters. I don't care about gruesomeness as long as I find it engaging, and I love tragic stories.

When I made the tierlist (at the bottom), I consulted the wiki for the epilogue summaries, but I can't be bothered to do that for the ranking, so just assume if it's higher it's because of Jake, and if it's lower it's because of Eleanor.

36. "The Breaking Wheel" I didn't like any of the characters, and the pacing was too slow for me to be invested. Also what's with all these advanced science classes? Did I just miss out on a common public school thing in my private school?

35. "Prankster" Jeremiah sounds like a Nice Guy, and the ending was confusing. It's also hard to take things seriously when the protagonist thinks it's a prank (I still don't know if it is).

34. "Kids at Play" What is up with the signs following Joel around? That ending came out of nowhere. At least his internal conflict is kinda interesting.

33. "In the Flesh" Matt is so hateable it's entertaining, but the plot is too dull, and the ending is just gross and pointless.

32. "What We Found" This story started off really well, and I was really interested in Hudson, but all the hallucinations made the story difficult to follow. I couldn't tell if Springtrap actually did anything or not. The second half was just so disappointing.

31. "Sergio's Lucky Day" It was kinda neat to see how Sergio became increasingly reliant on Lucky Boy, even to his own detriment well before the ending, but I just didn't like it. I can't explain why.

30. "1:35 AM" I just felt sad for Delilah, but it was also frustrating how she wouldn't even explain to Harper exactly what was wrong. The ending was also underwhelming and made my claustrophobic ass uncomfortable in a bad way.

29. "Count the Ways" I don't understand why this one is so beloved. If not for the portions showing Millie's life before she climbed in Freddy, it would be much lower. I was just distracted the whole time wondering how big Funtime Freddy, who I have always perceived as one of the smaller Freddy models, would have to be to fit a 14 year old in his stomach with enough room for her to move at all. He was also incredibly irritating to listen to.

28. "The New Kid" I was so mad at Devon for involving poor, innocent Mick in his horrible shenanigans. The springlock scene was just so terrible, and the ending was so confusing? Apparently the corpse might be Andrew, but I find problems with this, especially since I don't know for sure if Jake was Eleanor or not. If he was, that's stupid, especially since Jake didn't act malicious at any point, only Devon did.

27. "Together Forever" I always mix up this title with "Alone Together." Most of this story is just stereotypical mean girl stuff, until the gore at the end. Everyone says Fazbear Frights are super gorey, but I didn't really notice most of it. This story though. This one actually made me sick (literally not figuratively), but the last paragraph is really good.

26. "Hide-and-Seek" I could not visualize the game. If it's as big as it sounds, why is it in a pizzeria? As someone with a lot of siblings, I could relate to the competitiveness between Toby and Connor, and the ending was a pretty good message against relapsing into harmful behaviors (at least that how I interpreted it). The majority of the story was too slow for me to be invested when I didn't care much about Toby though.

25. "To Be Beautiful" Putting aside my loathing for Eleanor, this story isn't that bad. It did have a bit of gore at the end, but it wasn't nearly as bad as "Together Forever." Sarah's struggle with self-image and popularity is relatable to a young teen audience. I was moved when she made up with Abby.

24. "Felix the Shark" The first half of the story is really good, but then it drags its feet. It's not interesting to read about a protagonist putting clues together when we don't know what half the clues are. The ending was really good though.

23. "Dance with Me" Kasey's attempt to start over being thwarted by her falling back into bad habits was really realistic. I was routing for her to redeem herself. I was a bit confused by the ending though. Was the girl dancing because of Ballora, or was she dancing because she wanted to? Are we meant to know?

22. "Room for One More" I felt bad for Stanley, but I don't understand the logistics of Minireena vore. How were they spread throughout his body? That's not how ingesting things works.

21. "Gumdrop Angel" Angel's family problems were very relatable. I don't have a step-dad, but I could understand her resentment toward Ophelia for the difference in treatment. Dominic crying for Angel was a really humanizing moment.

20. "Pizza Kit" I can't really explain why I like this one so much. Maybe it's because this story was always misrepresented to me in summaries/other rankings I've seen. Payton and Marley's dynamic is exactly like my dynamic with my childhood friend, so I found Payton extremely relatable. Her death due to her own guilt was pretty poetic.

19. "Sea Bonnies" Mott didn't do a single bad thing, and he did everything he should have. It makes me so mad that he got completely overtaken by the titular creatures for literally no reason, but I like Mott and his dynamic with Rory so much that I can't put it lower.

18. "Lonely Freddy" This dynamic is kinda reminiscent of Angel and Ophelia's, but Alec and Hazel have moments of getting along, which only makes the ending more tragic. I felt so bad for Alec when he realized how badly he had messed up with Hazel.

17. "The Puppet Carver" I like how the portions of Sage's book reflect on what's happening to Jack. I don't know if Jack actually died, but it's compelling to me either way.

16. "Fetch" All the technical, scientific talk went completely over my head, but the concept was good enough, and Fetch was an entertaining enough antagonist that I can forgive it.

15. "The Man in Room 1280" I hate the lore implications for this, even as a denier of Stitchline games, because the personal hell explanation makes way more sense than a nightmare. Regardless, I really liked Arthur, and I especially liked his dynamic with Mia. It was also fun to read about the nurses trying to kill an unkillable patient.

14. "He Told Me Everything" While Chris was kinda terrible, I found him entertaining. The last bit when he realizes the Faz-Goo is going to replace him was so good.

13. "Jump for Tickets" This one gets so misrepresented. "Why didn't Colton just steal the console?" "Why didn't he just get a job?" Did you even read the story? Both questions are answered. Anyway, if not for the ending with Aidan and Colton, this would be lower, but that little bit made my heart ache, so here it is.

12. "Out of Stock" No way! A protagonist who did something bad, got his friends involved, and mouthed off to his mom, but made up for his mistakes by being brave, saving his friends, and apologizing to his mom? In my Fazbear Frights? The happy ending was well-earned.

11. "Find Player Two!" This one was just really solid, and much needed after the first two. The realization that Mary Jo's death was Aimee's fault, but not in the way she thought, only for the same thing to happen to her, was just so poetic.

10. "Step Closer" You may have noticed that I like the exploration of sibling dynamics. I like how we get a bit of the family's reaction to Pete's fate. Maybe I'm just dumb, but I've never heard of an arm transplant. Unless that's just something that's somehow possible in the FNAF world.

9. "Blackbird" This is a lot like "Dance with Me," but I think it's better executed. Not much to say here; it's just really solid. Happy for Christine though.

8. "The Scoop" A very meta story, but I quite liked it. I can see why it was scrapped though. Relatable protagonist and a bittersweet ending.

7. "Friendly Face" "Another story where the protagonist is haunted by their guilt?" Well yes, but this one is different. This time, the "threat" is real, and the last paragraph was one of the best. I actually almost cried when Jack and Faraday died since there's so much buildup, which was helped by how realistically Edward's grief was portrayed.

6. "The Cliffs" Yeah I like tragedy, but I also love a happy ending. Robert and Tyler's dynamic was just so sweet. Justice for Tag-Along Freddy though. He was just doing his job!

5. "Bunny Call" Bob was a great protagonist. Despite being annoyed by his family, he emphasizes how much he still loves them, and he's willing to put his life on the line to protect them when he realized his mistake.

4. "The Real Jake" Jake, Margie, and Evan deserved to be a happy family together dammit. This injustice will not stand. I cried.

3. "Into the Pit" This was such a good start to the series. Someone you love being replaced by some unknown thing with only you knowing the difference is a terrifying concept. Oswald's family dynamic is also really well done.

2. "You're the Band" Timmy is so me. I guess I could basically stick my comments about "Into the Pit" here, just replacing "start" with "end" and "Oswald's" with "Sylvia's." I just like it more here I guess. Also hi, Mike.

1. "Coming Home" I called that Susie was already long dead from the start, but that just meant I didn't need to reread to get a full impression, since I was already considering both sides. I wish we got more stories about the other victims, because as it stands, only the girls have any substance to them. Gabriel, Jeremy, and Fritz are just names, and that makes me sad. Anyway, this story made me cry.

#fnaf #fazbear frights #this is mostly for my own benefit but if anyone else wants to see it here you go i guess

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moroser · 1 year

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just journaling about my year and stuff. not doing that well but i’m also okay.

i try every year to make this time of year more bearable but it just is not. i feel like i spend most of december distracting myself in any way possible so i don’t have to confront anything from this month or the year ending, reminding me of a lot of my failures and sorrows and far-from-reach desires.

this year was not very good for me. i’ve been sick for four years now and still don’t know what’s wrong. my goals feel so unreachable but i made new ones this year. possible goals if i can manage to get through some obstacles, like feeling sick.

loneliness has been a strong feeling this year. it’s hard for me to make friends in general and i actually have none offline. i feel sad sometimes about that, but mostly just unlucky that all my online friends live so far away. i have a hard time around people because i feel so different from most. i tried to make new friends online this year but it feels like what always happens, no one really sticks with me. i feel very forgettable that way.

i realized this year i’d really love a girlfriend again!! but its hard to sort out how to even go about that. i’m older now. i’ve spent so much time alone. and i’m grey ace and i think aromantic. but i know i’d do so well with a life partner. someone who understood me and me them.

i feel so behind in life. i missed most of my 20s. almost all of them. i lost them to bad relationships, mental illness and addiction and chronic illness. ive always tried so hard. i’ve always been dealt unlucky hands and worked around it. but somewhere i lost any drive i had to help myself. i really truly wanted to die. i truly felt i deserved to die. i had planned to die, on this day. two different years. i don’t want to die anymore, but the feeling lingers.

i managed, somehow, to quit my addictions in 2017 and i have been sober all this time. i smoke weed, but i don’t consider that a huge issue, though i wish i smoked less lol. but i detoxed alone for a week in a basement, sweating and with chills, throwing up. i did everything related to my addiction in secrecy. no one around me knew and it just made me feel even worse. because no one around me has ever really cared i was there and i’ve always felt unwanted. and i just felt really invisible. i detoxed twice because the first time, i relapsed. almost checked into a center but i said no i can do this and so i did. i stopped drinking alcohol and i stopped drinking energy drinks all around the same time i quit opioids. i’ve been really proud of myself for everything related to recovering from this period in my life. it’s the strongest thing i’ve ever done for myself and i did it alone.

i’ve always done everything for others and worked hard for praise from adults in my life. i rarely got it. there are so many things that impacted my life negatively out of my hands that i will never get validation for. i’ll never get apologies for. it’s hard to swallow that a lot of the time. but at the same time, it feels like something i’ve always known and carried forever. i’m just aware enough now to really understand. i’m aware enough to know that you have to be your own cheerleader a lot of the time and i am so bad at that.

i found out this year, and this is actually hard for me to admit because of idk autistic reasons probably, that i want to have a baby. i want one child and it admittedly helps in driving me to fix things and get a career. i’m applying to school in january for spring classes to get everything going. it’s hard to do things for just myself. keeping this in mind, that i’m doing it for more than just me, helps.

my grandpa passed away in july this year. it was unexpected but also expected. he’d been battling heart failure for several years and already had lived many years passed his original prognosis. he died in his sleep, in the house he built himself and lived in for 60 years. my gran is devastated of course but stronger than i thought of her.

with his passing i moved into their house so i could take care of my gran. i already was taking care of them, but from my prior living space which was a dungeon. a prison. a horrible place. living with my gran has it’s stresses and difficulties but it will be better here, for me. and i hope for her. we have a really good relationship. besides my cousin she is my closest family relationship.

overall this year was not wretched. but it was mentally difficult. physically exhausting. and demanded a lot of my strength to keep going. but i’m on new medication, i have an easier time remaining positive overall. but man i feel like the saddest person ever. lol. i just feel so sad and lonely and i question what it is i did in a passed life to deserve how hard it’s been since forever. i’m 30 and so lost. i hope 2023 is a little better. i guess that’s all i can ask.

#t #personal #i am always at least okay right #tw suicide #its like talk about it and what not in here #tw addiction #no one has to read this ofc

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