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throwaway-yandere · 1 year

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Apotheosis Upon Your First Feast (Yandere!Wanderer & Pantalone/Reader)

Commissioned by: @leftdestiny-posts/@eternally-frozen (ilysm. Feel free to kill me later lmao)

unreliable synopsis: After being reassigned to Vanarana when your previous coworker became the Acting Grand Sage, with the help of Ararycan, you reunited met a wanderer on an abandoned machine. Unfortunately for someone, your childhood friend "Pantalone" has ears and eyes everywhere. (Avoid this fic if you’re not a fan of dark content. It’s not too dark but your mental health matters!)

IMPORTANT NOTE: Please use the InteractiveFics extension and change “(Y/n)” to whatever name you want, “[Wanderer]” to his chosen name, and lastly, also change “(wood/salt)” to… whichever option you feel like. It’s a surprise mechanic *wink*. If you're reading this on a phone, just pick between wood or salt right now, keep your choice in mind and commit to it : )

Afterwards, would you be so kind as to answer this fun poll after reading the fic? Danke ♡

“Why doesn't Nara (Y/n) eat what Arasaka prepares for them? Does Nara (Y/n) lack appetite lately?”

“O-Oh, well, that’s…” You paused, looking down at the broth, “in all honesty, your cooking tastes bland…”

“H-Huh?!”

Time had passed since Lesser Lord Kusanali's official ascent to power and now is the fifth month since you first made friends with the Aranaras. Many events took place before you found your pyro vision becoming Arasaka's torch as they cooked– and if any of your coworkers saw you now, they probably wouldn’t identify you as Alhaitham’s (only) friend and Ex-Sage Azar’s lazy employee.

Maybe they would've if you helped Alhaitham and his teammates secure Sumeru’s future.

Sure, your name isn’t listed in the coup d’etat, but that’s only because you wished for the Akademiyan scholars to make the epiphany for themselves. As Azar’s ex-assistant, you laid low from projects as a prerequisite so that the populace may acquire a personality of their own to make the nation truly deserving of the title “Land of Wisdom.”

Alas, that did not happen.

Alhaitham’s tactics were not wrong, but you felt like his group spoonfed Sumeru citizens with the Fatui’s crimes rather than having their own realizations. It did not feel like growth to you. It felt like the people casually learned from a one-sitting textbook rather than a hands-on experiment when they should’ve personally learned how minacious blind ambitions could be. In turn, he argued that your ideas were barbaric and that scholars revolting was not in the realm of possibility– hence, you did not lend your aid. Perhaps your inaction had pissed him off, but it’s more likely that he finds that sending you to Varanara was ideal for his workload.

And in some strange domino effect, refraining from helping a coup d’etat meant eating the tasteless food known to man.

Since you were personally assigned a senseless task to patrol and report weather patterns in the area (which is unnecessary and quite frankly boring), you had befriended the infamous aranaras children from Port Ormos hear stories about.

But the mundanity doesn’t hurt your pride as a graduate scholar. It's been fun so far.

“I'm sorry, 'Saka, it's just that I think your food lacks a bit of salt–"

"ASSISTANT (Y/N), THERE YOU ARE!!!"

Both of you flinched, causing Arasaka to topple over. The sound hurts. You snapped your neck towards the sound. An adventurer– Baharak– stood with both hands wrapped on her bag's shoulder straps with a silly grin on her face.

… You’re turning the setting of your hearing aids down.

“Baharak, it’s been a while,” you spoke. “Would you mind not yelling whenever you call for me?”

“Oops– Sorry (Y/n)! I mean– sorry, Assistant (Y/n).”

Changing her volume doesn’t undo the pain she inflicted on your ears. Gently, you pushed Arasaka behind an elevated jag of root to cover them. To escape suspicion, you continued to stare at Baharak while feigning sleepiness.

“What are you here for?”

“The Forest Watcher received a letter addressed to you. The sender doesn’t have a name again, it just has the coin-seal thing.”

“Please hand it over.”

“Aight!– I mean, alright.”

After dismissing the loud adventurer and giving her spare mora as thanks, you waited until she was out of sight. Arasaka suddenly rose and jumped onto your lap, equally curious about what was written on the salt-scented parchment. Arasaka's preppy manner soon turned sour as they discovered who the sender was.

It’s a letter from your best friend, "Pantalone".

“Aww…” Arasaka whined. “Arasaka was hoping it was the Verdant Nara instead.”

You tore it open.

"My dearest, (Y/n),

If it's not too much to ask, may I trouble you to visit my office in Northland Bank soon? I merely wish to see you. Spending Lantern Rite alone this year was not a pleasant experience. It's just for a mere chat- I'll reimburse your traveling and dining expenses. Care to make it up to me?

Your beloved,

As per tradition, you threw the letter in the fireplace. Pantalone doesn’t like leaving a trail of evidence, naturally, you assumed the same applies here.

It's never a chore to visit a friend. Maybe you'll head there tomorrow–

“Arasaka doesn’t like Nara Pantalone.”

The aranara lowered their head, continuing, “Nara Pantalone reminds Arasaka of the Taste of Sadness.”

Cute.

Every time Pantalone comes to visit, the aranaras behave like envious little siblings. Ever since you started patrolling Vanarana, the place had become the harbinger’s premiere leisure destination. The woods critters frequently tried to undermine his gifts, but they were adorably ineffective. Even if Pantalone cannot see them, the situation is nonetheless amusing.

If you remember correctly, the Taste of Sadness means salt to aranaras, right?

“Ah, well,” you laughed. “I guess you must be incredibly sensitive to his smell. He took quite a liking to salt-infused perfumes last year.”

“Don’t like perfume.”

“But I am wearing one though… Has the scent been bothering you all this time, Arasaka?”

“No, Arasaka was wrong. Arasaka likes perfume, and Arasaka hates salt. Taste of sadness. The scent of sadness.”

“Oh, no! If Pantalone’s smell makes my dear Arasaka sad, then maybe we should drown him in Varunastra,” you chuckled darkly, expecting the aranara to react loudly over your out-of-pocket remark.

“Of course. Salt Nara would make for decent spare rations!”

You laughed out loud at Arasaka’s even more out-of-pocket reply. Out-of-pocket is an understatement, that comment straight up sounded out-of-the-CASKET.

Before standing up, you ruffled Arasaka’s nonexistent hair like you would with your deceased sisters.

“I’ll come back in a few days, okay? In the meantime, why don’t you read a cookbook?”

“Hmph! Nara (Y/n), you’re being mean! Just wait! My sisters will make a dish Nara (Y/n) can’t say “no” to!”

“It’s a dumb risk.”

“It’s a new business venture, dearest.”

“The market for new eyeglasses isn’t going to rise any time soon.”

“Why are you so adamant on opposing this idea?”

“Stagnation breeds putrefaction, especially in business, does it not?” You raised an eyebrow, preparing for a harangue.

“Je suis d’accord!” The man spoke softly, accentuating his Fontaine pronunciation somewhat boastfully. Knowing your disability, he never raises his voice to the point of it hurting. “And it is precisely why I want to invest in an eyewear conglomerate in Sumeru.”

“Then why are you dropping your prior investments?!”

“Because it’s the right thing to do.”

You sighed, annoyed.

Pantalone is an amazing businessman, but without your council, he wouldn’t amount to who he is now. Unlike most people, “sneakily ambitious” are not the words you would describe your visionless friend. Such a moniker sounds insulting given his lack of celestial blessings and you know Celestia itself never took kindly towards his well-versed dirty tricks against his opponents.

In your humble opinion, the term “industrious” is a better-suited and less backhanded compliment for him.

You’ve known Pantalone— no— “██████” since childhood. Your history stretched back so much that you no longer recall the circumstances of how you befriended him. He acted as your ears when it came to haggling and normal day-to-day chores. As far as you know, he has always been an older brother to you. In times of extreme poverty, you both prayed and starved together, scraping by using salt rocks as entrees.

There was no one else that made your deafness bearable except for him. With no family left, he was your only beacon of hope and dear Morax– you’d rather not remind yourself of the time your dead sisters mistakenly ate mud for rice cakes when famine struck.

You chose Amurta out of the Six Great Schools for a reason:

You can’t afford to watch anyone die of hunger ever again.

When you began living in Sumeru, you had pledged your alliance with the region but never forgot all the toil you had to go through. As a malnourished child, you quickly fell in love with the nation. In Sumeru, healthcare was free– in Liyue? You heard nothing, and you wished that “advantage” doesn’t make you blind from the evil you witnessed in the slums. Poverty ate away your hearing, your family, and your childhood dreams…

In a way, the only reason you see aranaras in the first place may be that you didn’t have the chance to experience any childlike wonder until you escaped Liyue.

Pantalone scoffed, “whether you agree with my financial decision or not doesn't affect my resolve. Do not press more about this, dearest.”

… But you’re convinced that your closest confidant “██████” had already perished from starvation long ago.

The man before you calls himself “Pantalone” nowadays and you lose all sense of indolence whenever his presence looms. When he watched your last sister perish in your arms, an epiphany gave birth to his cold demeanor towards deities. He found it challenging to worship the Archons who had no need for mora but were eager to take it away from destitute mortals who needed it as you and your sisters did. The death of your younger sibling was his final straw, and in a sense, you also buried your old friend that night.

Unlike ██████, Pantalone cannot forgive nor trust the Archons for their broken promises. If Lesser Lord Kusanali had abandoned withered forests, Rex Lapis had abandoned those whose blood and tears cannot amount to any mora. You were only allowed to study at the Akademiya after he decided the former was the lesser evil.

Although Pantalone never condemns you for calling him by his birth name, you cannot tell yourself that he and ██████ are fully the same person. There is an unspoken need to straighten your posture and greet him with a semi-scowl to demonstrate your maturity despite him acting cozy and warm. Worse, his lax demeanor never ceases to remind you that despite his uncomfortable reputation, Pantalone is the only companion you’d entrust your soul to even when the world warns you not to deal a contract with the devil.

“You just want to use new brackets every day—”

“I am a businessman, love.”

You speared Pantalone with a pointed look.

“—And why Sumeru? Have you landed a deal with a reputable Amurtan optician? And why didn’t you ask ME first? You weren’t cornered by Dottore or the Tianquan to kickstart an eyeglasses company, were you?”

He scowled, unamused before firing back without skipping a beat.

“Summer, seven years ago. You accidentally bought six bunraku puppets from Inazuma—”

Your eyes widened. Not this embarrassing anecdote again.

“Woah, woah! Now, why are YOU extorting me?”

“So you’d be silenced quicker.”

“…”

This reticence was slowly exasperating the harbinger, but he never utters a complaint when you're whom he's conversing with. Pantalone cleared his throat with an elegant smile. In that moment of cessation, you figured that he had a seemingly innocent proposal in mind.

“(Y/n), my most dearest baobei…” The harbinger ventured.

“Pantalone…”

He pulled out his desk drawer and ferreted out a parcel that you suspect contains a pair of glasses.

“Would you care to be a test sub—”

“No.”

You have a gut feeling as to where this is going. He’s going to propose that it’s “just” glasses until you find out he’s been using you to track or spy on someone without your knowledge. Classic Pantalone. You won't be duped by that TWICE in a row. If you knew better, you wouldn’t have accidentally leaked intel to the Fatui that Katheryne was being controlled by the Lord of Verdure. All because Pantalone hid a recorder on one of his “gifted” hearing aids...

Listen— just because you refused to lend a hand to the Archon when she was in need and was subsequently confronted by the 2nd harbinger in Sumeru City doesn’t mean you were colluding with these fools.

You just wanted to remain neutral in any given situation. Unlike your childhood friend, politics bore you to death. And just like the Acting Grand Sage, you’re too lazy to act as a beta tester no matter how minimal the effort the task requires.

“I only ask that you wear this pair of glasses and test its comfortability.”

“I refuse.”

“We can negotiate how much mora you’ll earn—”

“Just stop.”

“Hmm, if I phrase it as a “gift”, would you accept—”

“Hell no.”

Pantalone paused.

“Hmm…” He tapped his desk, gazing at the paperwork neatly piled up.

“Word of advice, (Y/n), it’s highly probable that the price of cocoa will rise next week,” he shrugged. “That fact is, of course, most definitely unrelated to our current discussion.”

Is he…

Is he threatening to generate chocolate inflation over a pair of glasses?!

You scoffed, eyes wide.

“██████, you worthless SCALPER.“

“The majority prefer to call me a ‘regrator’, but that new nickname is acceptable as long as it is you who makes such mildly unpleasant utterances.”

“GAH! You— YOU—” Even though he may completely ruin your usual routine of buying chocolates after work, it's difficult to curse him out. You have no choice but to spout illogical syllables without a valid clause. “JUST— YOU!!! YOU.”

Smack.

Upon hearing your facepalm resoundingly, he laughed uncontrollably, removing his glasses to wipe his eye with an uneven grin on his face. He tried to keep his composure but he kept snorting.

You took a peek between your fingers. What a precious noise. You haven’t heard him laugh like this for over three years now.

At that moment, you thought ██████ was alive.

“F-Fine— give me those damn eyeglasses.”

Pantalone drifted the parcel above your palm until he quickly retracted it as soon as you reached forward.

“But before I do that, can you promise me one thing?”

“What is it this time?” You groaned.

“Don’t lend it to anyone else, understand?” Pantalone slightly ruffled your hair. “I had it custom-made for you.”

You rolled your eyes, “that thing is definitely wiretapped. You’re not even bothering to hide it anymore.”

“Oh no, it’s not just that—”

“Just that?”

He shrugged smugly, which was not a good sign.

“The eyeglasses function similar to an Akasha Terminal, but of course, the information you’d find there is directly from my database.”

Pantalone opened the box and swiftly put the white-framed glasses on your face. He lightly tapped the frame—

and a control panel window flickered open.

Just like an Akasha.

“H-How on earth—”

“The Doctor and I had a deal. He’ll recreate at least 80% of a regular Akasha’s functions while I help him track down a few… crops. It’s a quid pro quo, I promise. It’s less of him exploiting me and more of me exploiting…— well, that doesn’t matter right now. C’mere, let me see your lovely face...”

Pantalone tilted your chin up with his thumb. His face was inches away from yours, and his piercing lilac eyes observed your glasses and what was behind them, calculating. His breathing was notably strained in a subconscious attempt to make you feel less uncomfortable from the position he trapped you in— ever the perfect gentleman— but you see his entire face flushed in a pinkish hue. A few seconds have passed, and you feel the glove pressed against you twitching.

Pantalone pulled away, shoulders stiff.

His ears were red.

“I-It’s working as intended.”

If not for the nature of your relationship, you were close enough to kiss– an appealing notion for the harbinger, yet it is not a move he should bring himself to try.

“Y-Yeah, no kidding. That was awkward.”

He gripped his arm, looking at the window.

Pantalone is painfully aware you think of him as an older brother. Or at least, the shadow of one, given how you rarely call him by name anymore.

“My apologies, I simply wanted to take a good look at you.'

He muttered, “you’ve grown into a gorgeous person, (Y/n).”

You didn’t hear him.

“██████– I mean, Pantalone–”

“Go back to calling me ██████, dear.”

“Pantalone.” You put more emphasis on his harbinger name, watching in glee as he rolled his eyes, “I expect to be paid in chocolates and at least two months’ worth of food.”

Indeed, your proposed exchange pleased him. ██████ knows how much you value healthy eating and abhor it greatly when others waste grains of rice. Time and imagination had transformed his early memories as you as a human so close to a skeletal figurine with sunken cheeks and broomstick-like limbs. Those thoughts cause him much sorrow. Pantalone would have pampered you for free if you had only let him– seeing you eating healthy gives him life. Almost like how a father would tell his children that seeing them full is enough to make him full as well.

Let him spoil you with food. Please.

Seeing you thin makes him feel sad.

“What do you want to eat for dinner later? My treat, as always.”

“Mint salad sounds lovely.”

“Just mint salad?” Pantalone smiled thinly.

His dearest baobei, no longer skin and bones. No longer barely fueled by rice and salt. No longer skipping meals. It warms his heart more than the exclusive springs offered to him because of his mora and title… But it’s not enough. It’s never enough.

“Hmm… Would it be okay to request a plate of Triple-Layered Consommé?” You muttered, gazing at the floor. “I kind of miss your cooking… Just. Just kind of.”

His heart skipped a few beats as he saw your shy expression.

You straightened up, coughing, “not that your cooking is anything special, it’s just that I don’t want to eat anything too bland and–”

“Of course! Anything for you, my love.”

Pantalone grabbed your hand and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles.

“My baobei, you’d be too full to walk once I’m done spoiling you…”

“D-Did you have to word it so seductively?!”

You blushed once again, which only served to worsen his urge for making you undeniably satiated.

Oh, how he wants to keep you in a cage, locked up, and fed until he’s satisfied that you’ll never starve again…

Maybe then, you’d let him spoon-feed you like years before...

There's no rest for the wicked. When you returned to Vanarana the next day, the aranaras pulled you in for another chore at Devantaka Mountain.

“Hey, little man, get down there, right now!”

You screamed with your hands cupped around your mouth to amplify your voice. The aforementioned "small man" scoffed, not shifting an inch from his posture, as the blue aranara crept up behind you.

Ararycan worriedly relayed that a “Wood Nara” had been trespassing the large abandoned Khaenri’ahn machine. The little vegetable-like creature had grown to trust you when it came to scaring off unwanted guests, which usually entailed eremites or treasure hoarders scavenging for scrap metal.

“Ararycan wants to stop Wood Nara.”

You gently pried the wire off their hand, keeping it in your pocket in a very definite fashion.

“I know, ‘Rycan, but Naras are stubborn beings.”

“Just like Nara (Y/n)?”

You gasped, eyes widened.

These plant-like beings are surprisingly masterful at the art of roasting.

“Just like Nara (Y/n), you say?! Rude, Ararycan, rude.”

You laughed humorlessly, masking your jadedness with forced laughter.

In all honesty, you’re inclined to believe that this job reassignment was Alhaitham’s way of punishing you for remaining neutral. But surprisingly? An Amurta alumnus like you have been enjoying the task and in no small part thanks to these silly little creatures.

It's absurd to imagine that you would consent to be pulled by these vegetable creatures. You initially believed that they were paracosms produced by a lack of stimulation. You once tried to ignore them. Regrettably, that frail facade didn't survive due to a couple of slip-ups. The first to catch you drawing their likenesses next to your weather reports was Arapas. The second was Arabalika, who overheard you whispering about how powerful they were after they defeated a ruin grader, and then Arama who heard you humming their songs. They’ve built up quite the case against you, and you had to fess up before they start giving you a hard time.

By “hard time”, you were referring to how a crowd of tumultuous aranaras huddled up and tugged your hearing aids’ wire with their teeny hands incessantly.

Which was what Ararycan is doing right now.

“Get us up there, Nara (Y/n).”

"Careful, Rycan– you might damage the wire."

Suddenly, the hatted man's eyes widened after seeing you. Call it intuition, but it seemed like this total stranger knew who you were.

You made an exaggeratedly loud inhaling sound, turning off your hearing aids momentarily.

And then, a scream.

“STOP, STAY WHERE YOU ARE!!! RIGHT!!! NOW!!!”

The difference between stupidity and bravery is measured by outcome, and neither are variables you wish for this “Wood Nara” to test out. Alhaitham would have you write two pages detailing an incident if the stranger broke something and eight more if the machine awakened. And sadly, you are only a small percent less lazy than that man.

Despite your words droning childishly, you made no move to approach him. His eyes sharpened, but you felt no scrutiny—

This man you’ve never met wore a blatant look of disbelief.

You looked down.

Maybe he could see Ararycan…?

“Hey— can you see them?”

You swiftly swept Ararycan off the ground, who made a surprised yelp.

The man winced.

"P-Please… Leave the forest alone…"

"And why should I care about your pathetic request?"

"Please, have mercy… T-There are creatures that live in this area… Creatures you cannot see because you lacked a human heart."

“–Ngh!”

Those memories were hard to swallow, like reading an inked sloppy handwriting submerged in water.

“G-Good riddance…”

The man coiled in pain, gripping his scalp with his lithe fingers. You cannot view the expression on his face, nor were you able to verify that he had yelped. The distance between you two was too great to conceive a communication that did not rely on shouting.

“Nara (Y/n), what are you doing?!”

Although your proximity with the aranara doesn’t cause any communication barriers, that didn’t stop Ararycan from yelling.

For some reason, the stranger flinched after seeing you carry what appeared to be air around “normal people”’s vision. Perhaps he found your actions cringe-inducing… or perhaps it made his migraine worse. Then again, both possibilities are not mutually exclusive. However, you have a feeling he didn’t flinch because he saw Ararycan.

The blue aranara leaped off of your hands.

“Ararycan is worried… Ararycan thinks Wood Nara is going to destroy the giant iron mountain…”

You stared up at the man again, wanting to go on for a long rant but refrained after realizing how immature that is. While you do have a hunch that the stranger possessed a vision, you’d bet mora that he is no match for Arabalika’s accumulated Ararakalari.

“Say, why do you keep calling him Wood Nara? Is it because of his ginormous hat?” You whispered to Ararycan.

“Huh? Did Nara (Y/n) not notice?” They tilted their head.

“Ararycan calls him “Wood Nara” because he’s made of white wood. Ararycan is not sure if he is a real Nara.”

Their answer entered from one ear and exited in the other. You’re used to hearing the Aranara lexicon that you never take any sentence at face value since you’ve learned your lesson back when Arasaka made you scout the market for a “Taste of Happiness.” Thank the Lord of Verdure that it was only Pantalone who laughed at you for describing sugar as “white, cubic, crumbles when crushed, becomes sand, and can be eaten.”

“Hah, well, he better not be made out of wood 'cause I might burn him.”

“Ararycan doesn’t think that’s easy to do. Wood Nara smells like the taste of anger,” once again, you ignored their riddled words.

You clutched the pyro vision dangling in your cloak’s right shoulder, located opposite where Alhaitham places his. Your skill set does not differ from that dendro user’s repertoire, and you calculated what vertice you should drop upon teleporting. Grabbing Ararycan, you rushed forward...

Without making it past the one-minute mark, you leaped effortlessly to where the stranger stood.

“Excuse me, young man, but do you have an Investigation Charter from the Akademiya?”

With an unused voice when it comes to dishing out commands– much less an implied threat– your approach wasn’t even a fraction of what makes authorities like the General Mahamatra intimidating. Yet, you still tried. You crossed your arms and hovered your hand near your claymore.

This stranger gazed up, boasting his soft face and beautiful lilac eyes topped with a complexion quite like a sheltered princess. He had the finest eyes you had ever seen. Yet, even with a heaven-sent face, his eyebrows were knitted. He continued kneeling on the cold metal of the giant mossed and corroded machine.

One closer look should’ve made you hyper-aware that his joints were not bound by mortal flesh, but your heart was more entranced by his glassy pupils.

“We meet again. If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is.”

He muttered inaudibly, hence, you did not hear him. Since you also just came back from visiting Liyue and their post-festival fireworks, you’ve turned your hearing aid settings lower than usual. You bent your knees slightly, offering a hand.

“Nana korobi ya oki,” you said. The stranger looked like he hailed from Inazuma, so you thought you’d put your knowledge to good use. “It means–”

Unbeknownst to you, you uttered the same thing in a past long forgotten.

“I know: fall down seven times, get up eight.”

His gloved hand grasped your own, and you tried not to think about how soft yet firm it was as you pulled him up. You grunted slightly from the shifted weight while he didn’t breathe at all.

“No, I don’t have any clearance permit,” he said. “And I still don't have a heart, if that still matters to you.”

You raised an eyebrow.

‘Still’? What the hell is he talking about? Aaru village is miles away from here, but is it possible that the man you’re talking to is a mad scholar? That’s concerning.

Pushing your glasses farther up the bridge of your nose, you tried to search his face in Sumeru's records– which might be more unlawful than whatever this man's doing, but who's policing you anyways?

…

Nothing.

There's not a single official record on this man.

Not even in the Fatui's database.

Almost like the man in front of you doesn't exist.

"What the hell are you wearing?" The man sneered. "Since when did you have awful eyesight too?"

“No Investigation Charter, no clearance, just what do you think you’re doing here?” You digressed. “May I at least have your name?”

The man tilted his hat up, “and why should I stupidly give my information away?”

Your eye twitched. He kinda reminds you of Arabalika. Maybe if you gave him a cane he’ll calm down a bit.

“I do have a use for your name, awkward stranger.”

“And that is?”

Writing a report to the Acting Grand Sage regarding suspicious individuals.

“Something to call you,” you shrugged with a child-like candor, renewing your request with bold obstinacy. “I’d rather not recount this tale to various parties as That One Time An Awful Little Man Tried To Pry Open A Giant Machine And Failed.”

He exhaled curtly.

… Was that a laugh?

“How childish. Even if you don't know my name, your "friends"– assuming you have some– will remember me by that stupid description.”

“I mean, it's a memorable first impression,” you met his gaze smugly. “But why are you hiding your name, hmm? Suspicious.”

“It’s called respecting one’s privacy. Something you don't understand.”

How rude of him to make assumptions about you, “are you some covert government official?”

“No.”

“Then what? Are you some inhuman being?”

“...” He didn’t say a word.

Something tells you that the answer is close to your hunch.

“[Wanderer].”

He muttered, once again, you did not hear it so he spoke louder.

“That's my name. Don't you dare make me repeat it.”

“[Wanderer]…”

You missed the way he tipped his hat, hiding an uncontrollable smile from your view.

[Wanderer]... That does sound like a fitting name. It reminded you of a character from a franchise or mythological tale you thoroughly enjoyed as a teenager. It might be rude to share that information, though. You’re not certain how this bratty person would react upon hearing that his name might as well be the name of your lotus from a botany class.

Normally, [Wanderer] would snap a “speak up– is there something wrong with my name?” upon listening to hushed whispers or a resounding silence after his many introductions. But you’re different for a reason.

There was no way in hell he would take the traveler's suggestion over a name you had given him.

Ararycan tugged your pants.

“Hey, don’t just stare at him, Nara (Y/n)! Tell him to leave!!!” Araycan trashed around. “Nara (Y/n) must be a brave Nara if you like the taste of anger.”

[Wanderer] is the taste of anger? Is that what Ararycan was trying to say?

You blushed, fake-coughing behind your hand.

You wouldn’t say he reminds you of the taste of anger– especially with that winsome face. If anything, his appearance looks a lot like the bunraku dolls you accidentally bought years ago.

“Well, [Wanderer], it’s nice to finally put a name to a face,” you said. “But this is a dangerous area. What are you doing here…?”

“I just wanted to look for traces of the Doctor,” [Wanderer] crossed his arms. “Unfortunately, I can’t pry this stupid machine open.”

“The Doctor? Who’s that?”

“The Harbinger who sits at the second–”

“Aah, The Outcast. I see–” you shook your head. “Wait, no, I don’t get it. What does he have anything to do with this machine here? This is a Khaenriah’n creation.”

“I know, I’m not dumb like you. I'm here because The Doctor had plans for these automatons, that’s why I’m here.”

“But even so, it’s not advisable to wander these parts alone. You ought to have asked for a travel companion. Who knows if you run into a hoard of vanaagnis in marana?”

“Hmph. Do you think I can’t handle a few whooperflowers in a withering zone? The audacity.”

“Arrogance is the capital stock of misfortune– wait, how’d you know Vanaagnis is a term for whooperflowers?” You blinked expressively. “And the meaning of marana too– so you ARE a mad scholar.”

“I’m NOT,” [Wanderer] glared. You noticed how he seemed unimpressed when you mentioned that proverb about arrogance and “capital stock”, and his expression soured more when you accused him of being a lunatic.

“I just… I just learned from the best.”

[Wanderer]'s stare not wavering away from you.

Your silence did not go unnoticed by the other two.

“...Why do I have a feeling you’re trying to say that you’ve learned from me?” Those words had escaped from your mouth before you could stop them.

[Wanderer]’s eyes widened.

“Can… Can you remember?”

“Remember…?”

He frowned, eyes reflecting his disappointment.

“No, no, it’s probably just a fluke,” [Wanderer] frowned with a finger tracing his lips. “Maybe my expression just gave it away…”

“Nara (Y/n)!!! Tell Wood Nara to leeaaaaveee!!!”

You tried not to flinch at Ararycan’s whining. They don’t seem to understand that having poor hearing doesn’t mean you can’t register their commands.

[Wanderer] walked past you.

“Fine, I’ll leave this device alone, but on one condition.”

“What makes you think you’re the one in control–”

“Go out with me.”

“...”

“... What?”

Your eyeglasses flickered red.

But that red light was gone in a blink, you weren't even sure if it existed.

You laughed nervously, “sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly–”

He refused to meet your eyes like a coward.

[Wanderer] replied brusquely, “look– you're partially deaf, but you’re NOT stupid. You heard what I said, so own it.”

"Hold on– where is all this coming from, [Wanderer]?" You pivoted your heel but were too late to yank his sleeve.

He already hovered a few feet away from you.

"I'll come to visit this place more often," [Wanderer] smirked. "You’ll still be here at the upcoming Festival, right? Mark your calendar. That’s our date.”

“Hey, you can’t just!– Aaand he’s gone.”

Despite his abrupt parting, you couldn’t help but smile over such a cheeky encounter, completely forgetting how that man rummaged through the giant machine you’re standing on without a permit.

Something tells you that you’d see him more often.

And you did.

“[Wanderer]” never failed to visit you at 10 AM sharp every day, until there was only one day left till the next Sumeru Festival. At first, you thought his eccentric personality would make the following days unbearable, but he was rather civil– just sharp-tongued.

He would show up whenever you wandered in the forest to disseminate knowledge about the local flora and Sumeru's history. Some of them you already knew, while others had you wondering if he knew the Lord of Verdure. While you were trying to interview him for a report, not as a trespasser but as an assistant, you once purposely lightened the atmosphere to get honest responses from him. When you jokingly asked who he was, his reply was unsatisfactory.

“Who I am is not carved in wood nor stone. ᏕᎧᎷᏋᎧᏁᏋ wise told me that it’s a flexible concept and it’s easier to understand through a story, but even then, you’d only see a fraction of who that person is,” [Wanderer] peered dotingly. “If you wish to know who I am, then work for it. I’m not giving you a damn summary.”

Tomorrow is your first "date" with the man and you barely knew him.

Your internalized frustration made him think you’re insatiably adorable.

How the tables have turned.

After all, [Wanderer] only responded with the same answer you had given him before.

In a forgotten history, ᎩᎧᏬ were the one that spouts spontaneous philosophical questions that led him into fits of unintelligible musings. [Wanderer] berated humanity for being sentimental creatures yet look at him now, proudly boasting the name ᎩᎧᏬ gave him wherever he went. It is by no means grander than a title like God of Everlasting Eternity or other such monikers, but when Godhood has stripped away from him, that name provided more solace than a seat in Celestia.

“The Puppet”, “Kunikuzushi”– such utterances are water under the bridge. Only [Wanderer] stays afloat, like a bubble on water. Maybe a bubble is only beautiful for a moment, yet that moment weighs more than a meaningless “eternity” and he knows this well…

[Wanderer] had been played by fate. Attaining freedom, independence, and a vision did not absolve what chokehold you had on his synthetic being.

You're a colorful character, averaging about five meaningful papers per year– all the while considering yourself a "retired" genius. [Wanderer] would've been a kinder and forgiving person if you were his young and impressionable self's creator. He envied your patients, your strange collection of bunraku dolls, and the tenderness you reserve for them.

He missed you, no matter how often you both fought. Your hums used to enchant him when you lull him asleep with aranara songs, but they now haunt him up at night. You were his puppet and he was your dictator until you had grown exhausted of foreign power enough that you abandoned your neutrality and revolted.

But you did not revolt against him in this revision. Without a doubt, his revised “past” still mirrored the pain he caused, but through other means. He can’t say he had no regrets when he tampered with the Irminsul. Niwa’s death had less weight in this world, and for the wanderer, death without sanctification for a significant purpose is unnecessary homicide. And instead of helping Azar’s experiment, you became a “disobedient pet” who saw no need to collaborate with his superiority complex.

Yet, despite being such a disobedient pet– in his opinion, that’s a grave understatement–, he can’t help but cherish you.

The puppet missed the way his delusion marked your body. Fingerprint-like blotches collared your neck before, but when the slate was wiped clean, so too did his inflicted bruises. He missed the way you begged him to stop the pain. He missed the way you defended invisible creatures as “Queen Aranyani’s successor.” He missed the way you begged to keep the forest safe.

He missed the way you begged to be his.

But those marks are long gone– the symbol he carved on the nape of your neck had disappeared. You no longer had anything that resembled signs of his ownership.

Not only that, but seeing you wear eyeglasses– something you haven't before– fills him with anger.

The one saving grace from this situation was when this timeline confirmed that you wouldn’t help Azar if it wasn’t for [Wanderer]. You were interested in his personality and disposition as a puppet longing for a human heart, not just any of Dottore’s run-of-the-mill creations. That observation surely boosted his ego.

Your opinions mattered to him most in that project. Admittedly, he craved everyone’s veneration, even when they lacked true understanding.

But you were the first mortal that made him appreciate his defects…

"Is it so bad to live this way?" You combed his hair with your fingers. "Must you try your hand with such heresy?"

"Know your place," Scaramouche gritted his teeth. "You're nothing more than my maintenance worker- you do not deserve an audience."

"Be that as it may, future faux-god, can't you entertain me for just a moment? If I wasn't worried about you, I wouldn't be helping you with this damn treacherous experiment.

You ignored how he snarled at such a nickname, "it pains me to watch you lust for more power when you already boast an acceptable form. What is it that makes you so desperate? Is it because you can't hide the ball joints that connect your fingers and limbs?"

You continued while adjusting the tightness of his skeletal wrists.

"Is it so bad to live on as a defective being? Does imperfection invalidate a life's purpose? I only ask out of curiosity. I have imperfect ears, so does that make my life devoid of meaning?"

Scaramouche frowned, "do not compare your ears to my heart or lack thereof."

He didn't understand why his voice cracked. Scaramouche did not feel his usual temperament sizzling over but something heavy resided in his chest.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize, I know you're not sorry," Scaramouche cupped your cheek, sporting an uncharacteristically loving smile.

"And your unapologetic behavior is what makes you my first sage."

His first sage…

[Wanderer] laughed to himself.

His first sage would know that if he gained a heart, he would've seen the aranara you were talking to earlier.

But this is fine. He can start over again.

This time, he’ll make you love him normally.

Heaven, please help the white wood that fell in love for it will never be human…

…

Out of the blue, Scaramouche spun and hurled three consecutive wind blades toward the woods with precision.

Be that as it may, the walking salt is surely more pathetic.

The “trees” grunted, but [Wanderer] did not miss the smell of salt-infused perfumes.

What a shame.

The next Sumeru Festival, your “date”, is tomorrow, yet there will always be those who lurk in the shadows to see the mighty fall.

"Pantalone…"

The ex-sixth harbinger snarled with unfathomable familiarity. Which was the complete opposite of the ninth harbinger, who coldly greeted him like a new enemy.

"Good afternoon, [Wanderer]."

Pantalone pulled out a gun from his hidden holster.

"No hard feelings, sir," the businessman smiled thinly. "I am but a simple man eliminating a love rival. You see, it’s not nice threatening to steal someone’s possession."

Scaramouche cackled.

How annoying. He never liked this friend of yours– he much preferred the one that planned a coup. Pantalone was not a coworker Scaramouche liked, much less a rival. This ambitious man was always a parasite, pretending to be worried while threatening to withhold project funding behind your back. Scaramouche will never forget how he boasted insolently that he had known you longer as if eternity wouldn't be enough to make up for it.

"You never change, mortal," he laughed even harder. "I knew something was off about (Y/n)'s glasses!"

"Hmm? Is that so?" Pantalone pushed them up closer– reminding Scaramouche that he’s no terrible shot. "How strange. In any case, I quite frankly don't care what you know or do not know."

He pulled the trigger as Scaramouche stomped his feet.

Only a few knew what occurred in Vanarana that day, but there was one thing the forest remembered.

Before either of them parted, a loud bang echoed that even deaf trees can't miss.

You woke up from Araja’s house (which was the only comfortable place to sleep in Vanarana) after passing out from tumultuous loads of paperwork sent directly by the Baharak. She joked that at that point, maybe she had become a bad omen for you– and you confirmed her suspicions. The tasks the Acting Grand Sage laid out for you were taxing, if not, deleterious for your mental well-being, and worst of all–

He sent a notice that this would be your last week patrolling Vanarana.

When you spread the announcement, the aranaras were saddened by the news. Even Arabalika was unimpressed and asked if you can prolong your services. Alas, it can’t be refuted.

Noticing how tired you appeared, the village chief immediately commanded you to sleep while you pretended not to hear whispers of a surprise farewell party. Considering how the place looked positively empty this morning, you’d wager that they’re busy working on it.

But you do smell that someone’s cooking right now…

The enticing scent emanated from a large pot. As you sauntered closer, you noticed how Arasaka was tending to the food. The aranara gave you a friendly wave that you didn’t reciprocate. It’s rather chilly in Vanarana in the mornings– and the sleeves of your jacket were comfy.

“Good morning, Nara (Y/n)!”

“Good morning, ‘Saka. That smells delicious,” you smiled bittersweetly.

“Hehe, really? Glad to hear it! One of Nara (Y/n)’s friends helped gather the ingredients. That Nara was good at hunting down prey!”

One of your friends…? You haven't introduced a lot of people to the aranaras. That can only mean it's either Baharak, Pantalone, or [Wanderer], and you can safely remove the first one since they're positively busy with guild matters.

... Huh. But those two can't see aranaras. Does that mean they stole Pantalone or [Wanderer]'s game?

"Pfft..." You chortled. Yeah, imagining either of them getting confused as to why their hunted boar had gone missing feels like a sight to see.

You took the ladle from Arasaka’s hand and sipped the warm liquid.

…

“Oh, hey, this tastes pretty good!”

“Hehe, Arasaka is glad to hear you liked it! Nara taste buds are hard to please.”

You took another sip as Arasaka watched. The warm soup went down smoothly, but the aftertaste had a serpent-like bite to it. It tastes akin to red sorghums Pantalone would down whenever social drinking was inevitable. Your only critique was that it would’ve been a refreshing experience if there wasn’t a rocky object stuck between your teeth. You awkwardly picked it out.

… And saw a small hint of (wood/salt) between your fingers.

You stared at Arasaka.

Strange…

Something feels… off.

This doesn't taste like happiness, it tastes like…

You shivered and yet the aranaras around you still had that same painted smile.

"Does Nara (Y/n) like the taste now? The taste of friendship?”

… Friendship?

No. That can’t be it.

The spoon splashed back into the bowl. You didn’t say a word, only stared at the boiling pot. You knelt, grabbing both handles to gaze upon the bubbling red liquid. With trembling hands, you picked the spoon back up and swirled the contents. Nothing was of note–

Until you scooped something from the very bottom and found thick strands of dark hair.

A very familiar strand of dark hair.

You adjusted your glasses in an attempt to find out where this human hair came from–

“Nara (Y/n) likes the scent of (wood/salt) Nara so my sisters added him in!” Arasaka innocently cheered.

Your heart dropped.

You turned pale– gagging.

No. It can't be.

Did you just eat…

“So, Nara (Y/n)– does our cooking taste bland now?”

… “him”?

“Oh, Nara (Y/n)’s friend is approaching! Don’t forget to thank him for the food!”

1K notes · View notes

aestherin · 1 year

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privacy

37: it's all yours

NOTE a gift from me 🤍 a long chapter. thank you for waiting!! 🤍

This is surely a nightmare.

You swore you could cry from the sheer feeling of dread alone.

'What the actual fuck is this? Why are we here? Hello? What is this? This is surely the wrong stop. I wanna scream. Why here oh my god?'

Even though you were still inside your manager's car, it was visible how gray the skies were. Rain wasn't present, at least not yet, but the clouds looked so heavy, as if they were carrying a heavy burden.

They looked just about ready to burst.

You found it laughable, how even the heavens above seemed to reflect how you were feeling.

Your manager took the liberty of opening your car door for you, mainly because you were taking too long. "Get off."

You looked up at her, holding tightly to your seatbelt and refusing to let go.

"I don't wanna get out."

"Why are we here in this haunting place anyway?" You forced a smile, which she returned with a suspicious one. "I told you, didn't I? The CEO of Cypressus wants to meet you."

"Here?"

"Why else would we be here?" She questioned back, now also removing your seatbelt for you. "If you don't get out, we would be late for our appointment. That's not a good impression to make for a VIP, [Name]."

"Why are we meeting at Ayato's family house?" You cried out.

"Oh, this is his house? I didn't know. I just followed the address their CEO gave me."

This is eerie. Something about this is not right. Why —

"Stop thinking. Clear your mind, we have someone to meet."

The immense friction between the ground and your shoes (caused by your manager literally dragging you) can be heard, aside from you and your companion's quick banters. Well, it was actually mostly you crying out questions and her attempting to make you shut up.

Going through the short path on the way to the estate's gate, you noticed that barely anything has changed. As expected, their residence was well-maintained. Given the amount of staff and resources they have, it would be even weirder if they did not manage to keep the estate in its pristine state.

The only difference between your previous visit and now?

No personnel of the Kamisato clan is on sight.

Perhaps they are all inside? Or all of them have day offs today? Or maybe they all decided to file a leave on the very same day? Maybe the CEO of that famous bubble tea shop rented out the whole place to meet you? Wait, is a family residence even available for rent —

"We're here," your manager stated as both of you arrived at the gate.

"I really don't wanna do this."

"You're just gonna talk."

"'You're'? You mean me? Not 'we'? Are you leaving me alone?" You were on the verge of crying. It wasn't that you were sad. It was out of nervousness. Thank Celestia that no matter what heavy emotion you feel, you tend to cry.

Sad? Crying. Anxious? Sobbing. Angry? In tears.

Amidst your internal chaos, your beloved manager simply shrugged. "He requested to talk to you personally, not me."

"And you obliged?"

"It's for your own good."

"You sound like my mother."

"You think I don't notice that you're stalling?" she eyed you. You then felt both hands on your shoulder, forcing you to face the estate that brought you so many memories all at once. A little push, and voila!

You're all alone now.

It was not until you heard the heavy sound of the gate shutting that you turned around. "What the fuck?! Manager?!"

"Best wishes!" She yelled from the other side. Best wishes? Really? It's not like she's sending me off to get married, right?

... Right?

You stayed as still as a stone for a few minutes. Was this place really deserted? And where the heck is Cypressus' CEO? Is he inside? Should you go inside? Do you even dare to enter?

You gave your wristwatch a glance and realized you're already a few minutes late beyond call time. Maybe you really should stop wasting time outside and go in.

You were only able to take a few steps along the stoned path before you heard the main door creak.

It was a sound that could be heard anywhere, and yet... this specific noise, in this very place... it made your heart drop.

What you saw was even worse.

You could've died.

Out came a tall, fine man in an all white outfit consisting of a simple button-down and slacks, still oh so refined as ever.

How many days has it been? Or maybe even weeks, since you last saw each other?

Your heart was confused.

Those enchanting lavender eyes of his remained on you. They were magnetic, yet repelling all the same. Magnetic in a sense that you want nothing to do but just run straight into his arms, because you missed him so damn much. Repelling, because at the same time, you also want to run away for fear of confrontation.

Fear of falling even deeper.

Fear of falling into the depths, until no return.

Your lips slightly parted. It was hard to breathe — this instance, this atmosphere, his presence. It was too much. Too much for your little brittle heart to handle.

"[Name]," he uttered.

Fuck. And now you heard his voice? You were surely on the road to damnation.

Meanwhile, you weren't aware, but the man in front of you was likewise, dying. Dying to get close, dying to touch you, hug you, kiss you.

Dying to be with you, again.

Ayato silently rejoiced that you did not run away immediately at the sight of him. He feared that once you saw him, you would instantly go away, far and out of his reach. Thank the archons she stayed.

As he made his way towards you, you stayed still. You didn't even know how you managed to keep the eye contact with him. And then you notice.

He is a remarkable actor, but you've seen his genuine smile plenty enough to know that everything he's outright expressing is feigned. His lips may display a slight curve, but his eyes... They never lie. In them were weariness, sadness... longing.

Ayato now stood directly in front of you. "Hey," his voice cracked. "I missed you."

"Hi," you forced out a smile too.

It was a long time of looking at each other in silence, with faux smiles plastered on. No one dared to make a noise, nor an action.

Until Ayato couldn't take it anymore and pulled you into a tight hug.

His head sunk on your shoulders. You could feel all of his weight on you, as if he was deliberately sharing with you how exhausted he was from everything. How spent he was, and how your appearance at his house today was his only saving grace in a long time.

You froze.

You felt him shift slightly — no, he was shaking.

"Love," desperation was evident in his voice. "I —"

Ayato couldn't even talk. The composure he tried so hard to muster while waiting for you crumbled, just like that. One glimpse of you, and he broke. Are you now thinking how pathetic he is? Do you despise him now? Of course you do. Why wouldn't —

He felt your fingers caress his hair.

A simple gesture. Yet when it was combined with so much pining, sorrow, and despair... he couldn't stop himself anymore from sobbing in your embrace.

His last attempt at faking collectedness was hiding himself even further into the crook of your neck.

"Why are you crying?" You spoke softly. "I should be the one doing that," you joked.

"I know." Ayato's voice was muffled. Despite the situation, you can't help thinking how cute he was like this. Of course, you definitely prefer him being his usual cool self over him being a broken mess.

But it was a wonder, getting to see him like this, and getting to experience a new side of him.

The two of you stayed like that for a while: him trying to hide his crying in your shoulder (although his faint noises ratted him out) and you continuing to run your fingers through the tufts of his hair.

It wasn't awkward at all, contrary to what one would expect. Rather, it was warm and comfortable, not until he pulled himself away.

Your eyes travelled down, together with him.

"I'm sorry," his voice was low as he looked up at you. Kamisato Ayato, the renowned celebrity, the man with sharp lavender eyes, the scheming man that you've grown to love, the man that you would put above everything, even yourself, just fell to his knees. Groveling. Pleading. Begging.

But what exactly was he sorry for? Weren't you the one who owes an apology? After all, you were the one who suddenly announced that you two 'broke up' — as if there was even really something going on — without even waiting a response from him.

Then you ghosted everyone.

So really, what was your darling actor sorry for?

He held your hands, eyes still on you. "For everything, love. For dragging you into this whole mess. For being an asshole. For being such a stupid fuck."

Ayato breathed.

"For being a damned coward who is afraid of rejection and can't even express his feelings genuinely that he urged you into entering a faking relationship with himself just so he can experience having one with you."

What?

"So please," he leaned his forehead against your thigh, now looking down. "Forgive me and let me fix everything."

"Ayato —"

"Let me fix everything, with me by your side. With us, together."

With that, he was forced to look up as you pulled him. Ayato was still holding your hand even after the change in position, refusing to let you go.

"Ayato." This time, it's you whose voice wavers. "We can't. You know we can't. At least I can't."

"[Name]," he whined. "Love, please."

You took in his appearance. He looked like a mess, everything about him was. His disheveled hair, his teary eyes, his inconsistent breathing.

And yet, you still found him flawless.

"You don't have to forgive me right away. Fuck, you can even torment me. I just want us to be like before, maybe even better," Ayato beseeched.

"I can't believe you still want me," you forced a laugh. "I left you. Announced a break up. I fucking ignored you. All without notice."

"And I deserved all of it."

"No you didn't! You treated me so, so right," tears were now seeping. "You were everything I could ever ask for, love. And what was I to you in return?"

You sobbed.

You hated how memories of everything flashed in your mind.

How he was the perfect fucking lover despite everything being fake, how he never slighted you at the very least, how unfair you were to him sometimes (most times), how he would do just about anything you want, how you kept steering away from him without a word, how unreasonable you were after seeing a single fucking tweet online.

How you left him hanging.

"I was someone who was swayed easily! I was unfair. I kept doubting you, even if I didn't have the right to. You were perfect, I was flawed. You —"

"I wasn't perfect. I know that. Because if I was, you wouldn't have to suffer like how you've been," Ayato frowned. He knew he was the one to blame, and yet... why were you blaming only yourself?

He does not like it when you talk that way about yourself. If you could see yourself through his eyes, he wonders, would you still look at yourself as someone so low and unworthy? He attempts to change the topic subtly. "We're both human. We aren't flawless. A perfect fucking match, [Name]. So why don't we just be with each other —"

"— but I hurt you!"

"And I don't give a fuck." He breathes. "Heck, I would even let you do it again — infinite times more if you wish. Pain me. Hurt me. Break my heart all you want — it's all yours, love."

"But for God's sake, [Name]... please don't leave me."

privacy — ayato x reader smau

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averydayss · 12 days

Text

Heaven Sent𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪

she said don't get too attached but she attached to me

>>contents: in which Jake found out that his crush of 4 years, y/n wrote him a love letter

>>warnings: fluff, angst

>>now playing: Heaven Sent - Tevomxntana

Who wouldn't know of the one and only Sim Jaeyun? He is what most people would call a heartthrob, his angelic face paired with his beautiful voice and sweet personality would make anyone fold.

Jake is very popular in school, people would automatically look at him wherever he goes. Y/n was one of those people.

Y/n has been crushing on Jake for the past 2 years. Sure she is in the same grade as him, but she doubts Jake even knows her name. Besides shes too shy to talk to him whitout it being akward

Y/n had already made a love letter for him but she didn't want to give it to him, afraid that he would reject her which was probably going to be the case. He had so much pretty fans that send him love letters on a daily basis

It was after class, me and Winter was heading to the cafeteria to eat some food since we both didn't eat breakfast today.

"Hey isn't that Jake's group? The one being surrounded by girls right now" winter pointed to a small crowd of girls who seemingly was surrounding a group of boys

Y/n nodded and was seemingly suprised, sure she knew that him and his group of friends were popular but she didn't expect them to be THAT popular.

"Perhaps this is another sign that he will never like me" she said with her head resting on the table

"Noo don't say that, mabye he just doesn't like to show who he likes?" Said winter with a soft voice

"Really? I don't even know his ideal type, how am i supposed to make him even look at me?" Asked y/n

"Wait, your brother is in his friendgroup right? Can you pls ask him who Jake's ideal type is?" Asked y/n with a pleading voice

Winter shook her head "NO, besides what if my brother thinks that I like Jake instead? It would be too akward and traumatizing for me"

Y/n sighed "If you ask him I'll treat u mint choco for the next month". "REALLY?" asked Winter with an enthusiastic voice.

"Mhm, but you have to ask him and promise not to tell ur brother that i like Jake" said y/n. "Deal" winter said while holding up a pinky finger

The next day, y/n hurried to school to get information from Winter. "SO DID U GET ANY INFORMATION?" asked y/n enthusiasticly

"Duh, of course i did" said Winter. "THEN WHAT IS IT" asked y/n curiously

"My brother asked Jake whats his favorite color in a girl, he answered anything is good, he also asked jake whats his type and he said girls who are nice and also smart girls" answered Winter in a detailed way

"He likes smart girls? What's his next class? Mabye i can lend him my notes to make him think im smart" asked y/n

"If im not wrong him and my brother share the same class, if im not mistaken his next class is chemistry"

"Really? That's perfect then, i had chemistry before and i took some notes"

"Then you should give him ur notes before his next class starts" said winter after taking a bite of her lunch

"THANKSIES ur the best Winter i owe u a lot" said y/n. "Of course you do" said winter while rolling her eyes playfully.

Fortunately, y/n found Jake beside his locker whitout anyone else

"Heyy Jake, did you study for the chemistry test yet? If not i can lend u some of my notes" said y/n nervously while making a small smile

"Y/n? It's really rare seeing u talk to me, sure I'd love ur notes" said Jake while flashing his infamous smile who took u so much to not fold. With that you lent him Jakes notes

Chemistry class ended and y/ns notes was a big help for him. But he forgot to return y/ns notes after class and now he was stuck with her notebook

At home, Jake started studying, although he couldn't focus studying because of the way y/n smiled at him earlier, if only she knew how much he liked her

Jake has had a crush on y/n for the past 4 years, but Jake never started a conversation with her because she seems akward everytime he talks to her, and because of that he concluded that she simply didn't like to talk to him

It was kind of a bummer since everytime she talked to anybody else, y/n always has an energetic vibe and tone to it, very different than when she talked to him.

When he was stuck in a chemistry question, he remembered that there was a formula in y/ns note that would solve it

When he dug through his bag, he found y/ns pink notebook. When he was flipping through the pages a paper fell out. When he bent over to grab the notes, he froze.

In the note was a familiar name "To: Sim Jaeyun". He knew in a way that this was an invasion of privacy, although in his defense there was his name

"Hey, im Y/n from class 12B, you probably don't know me but I've had a crush on u for 2 years but I can't confess to you in person since it would be really akward. I love your smile and the way you treat others so kindly, its like your heaven sent. I know you probably don't feel the same way to me even though i hope you do but i wanted to get this feeling off my chest."

To: Sim jaeyun, From: y/n

Jake couldn't believe his eyes, his crush of 4 years liked him back all along? He felt like he was on cloud 9, smiling so much all night

The next day, Jake didn't even bother eating breakfast. He wanted to arrive to school as fast as possible to confront y/n about the letter and possibly confess to her too. There he saw y/n walking through the halls

"Hey y/n" Jake approached you while lightly tapping your shoulder. "Jake? Whats up?" Y/n said.

"Sorry i forgot to return your notebook yesterday, here it is" Jake said while lending your pink notebook to you

"I know this is probably an invasion of privacy but i saw your love letter to me"

"What do you mean?" Y/n asked confused. Whitout saying anything Jake pulled a familiar letter out of his pocket

You suddenly feel your face heat up. You remember writing that letter a year ago and you were planning to give him the letter on valentine's day. You didn't ended up doing that because you were to scared that he would reject you

So instead, you placed the letter in-between the pages of your notebook and you forgot to take it before you lent him your notebook

"About that, im sorry it's totally okay if you don't feel the sam-" before y/n could finish her sentence, she felt his lips pressing against her lips. He kissed you

When he finally pulled back, y/n was still in shock. "I like you too, y/n. For 4 years I've liked you" he said with a soft smile

Since that day, y/n and Jake became the schools favorite couple

💳: divider by @v6que. Other images are from pinterest, credits to all the owners

A/N: Feel free to request something xx

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merrycrisis-if · 2 months

Note

So I just want to say that I'm definitely not a suspicious person sending you a suspicious link - suspicious people wouldn't say that outright, right? I just tried to send an ask, hit the character limit, then tried to send a message, and uh, hit the character limit again. Haha. Anyway, here's what Qiu has done to me: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hcQ_-WQ635cSrgWtEWX1gz7Xv9GbzopT_A5MpvRZA64/edit?usp=sharing

THIS MESSAGE IS THE BOMB!!! I love that you created a google doc just to gush about / psychoanalyse Qiu because of Tumblr asks's character limit, that's so hilarious and amazing!!

OK, now to reply to the message :D

[Re: Qiu] ...They're NOT EVEN AN ADULT YET. It's easy to say "just give up on the only structure you've known all your life because it's toxic" but reality is not always kind; even ignoring any kind of emotional support (which we unfortunately don't really get to see one way or another. Maybe Qiu would have been better off just running off and taking a leap of faith and relying on MC but it's not wrong to feel that the unknown is far more terrifying than the known and there was no way for them to know that choosing MC would have been better. The love of her parents - in whatever form, whether or not it's actually love, is what Qiu has known for most of their life - is a constant as long as they meet expectations.

Exactly, this!! Like, we first meet Qiu when they're still very much finding themselves / figuring out what they want in life. It's definitely a 'coming-of-age' story for them — as much as it is for MC. So their relationship with MC takes place at a point where, like you mentioned, they are still a teen(!) and their parents' expectations and (conditional) love is all that they know. It's never easy to distinguish between what one's own desires, dreams etc. are, and what's simply fed to us by society, by the people we trust/care about (in Qiu's case, it's their parents).

So I think one of the greatest joys of writing Qiu (and their relationship with MC) is acknowledging the imperfection, the growth, and their initial failure to 'do right' by each other back in high school (and the potential to re-visit that and make different choices the second time around).

There are probably bits of “it would be entirely way too selfish of me to ask MC to give up on their opportunity and stay”, among other things, but I’d like to think that feelings of “I don’t deserve to ask this of MC” are also there... Asking or hoping for Qiu to ask them to stay - I get it, I really do, but there’s also a part of me that feels like god DAMN if that isn’t fair, putting the choice on Qiu... Just as Qiu could have stood up for MC, could have shouted their love for MC from the rooftops, could have asked MC to stay; MC could have CHOSEN to stay, could have CHOSEN to prioritize their relationship with Qiu. Could have written emails, snail mail, video calls, flew back for visits, could have given long distance a shot. Maybe it was just the wrong time, wrong place. Maybe back then, neither of them could have made those choices, said those things.

And you bring this up beautifully here, where I think I was really interested in portraying MC's hurt (from MC's perspective) regarding the way Qiu never fought for them, even when they were so ready to throw it all away for Qiu — but then also slowly unpeel the layers of Qiu's perspective as well, i.e. that MC expected grand gestures from Qiu, but truth is, reality was tugging them in opposite directions, and perhaps Qiu did fail to jump off a cliff the way MC wanted them to, but they both failed to try to figure out a more mundane, less grandiose way of keeping in touch, staying in each other's lives etc.

MC back then had been seeing things in a very 'black and white', 'you do or you die' kind of way (as most 'first love' stories go), but I think now that they've had years to mature / grow, there's space for both MC and Qiu to appreciate the nuances of what had happened between them, how things fell apart etc. and acknowledge that in some ways, they were each incapable of doing the things they needed from each other, but nobody was truly at fault.

Again, thanks for the lovely message <3

#interactive fiction #merry crisis #if #asks #qiu

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natelia-aldelliz · 1 year

Text

"I can't call Soap 'Johnny'," Alejandro grunts, an obvious smile in his voice.

"Don't," Soap answers immediately. "Only Ghost can pull that off."

Roach lifts an eyebrow. "And what am I supposed to call you then? Johnuald the third?"

Soap snorts, quietly enough that the others don't hear him, and sends him a look. Even in the dark, it's very obvious how much of a sunshine he is, his blue eyes sparkling with mirth.

Damn, Roach had never fallen for someone this fast before. Even with Simon, it had taken a few months. But for some reason, Johnny is so precious to him that he'd die - again - for him in a heartbeat.

"Jonathon? Jonah? Johnson? Johntay? I can keep going, I already had that conversation with Price years ago, and I had the internet back then. I had a pretty long list and I remember most of it."

"Cannae ye make yerself useful instead of bein a nuisance?" Soap whispers with a smile after quickly checking around that no one was paying him attention.

Roach gasps. "But being a nuisance is my true calling! You could say I like 'bugging' people, huh, get it, get it?" He beams when Soap shakes his head at him and goes through the wall.

The shadows are crawling outside, of course. He roams around, getting a rough headcount, then gets back at Soap with all the information. It's doable, honestly. Especially since Simon and him rigged several cars with explosives.

He is still a bit worried though, about Johnny's wound. He's not sure how it's possible, how he's still standing, but then again, he's a ghost talking to a living person, so there's that.

Rudy had said that no one except Alejandro can kill Alejandro, and Roach just has to wonder if Johnny got kind of the same deal. But Ale never gave any indication that he was seeing the burning person floating above his new friends, so maybe it's not the same.

With the clear intel he gives Soap, they make quick work of the Shadows and Price picks them up at the wall. If he was able to actually haunt people and not just follow them around uselessly, he'd stop haunting the Captain immediately as a thanks.

Because he's pretty sure Johnny actually needs some intense medical attention. He said that it didn't feel different than a leg or shoulder wound, but those definitely need more than just stitches and painkillers anyway.

It's very heartwarming, watching Soap greet the rest of the team with a puppyish energy, and he has to admit that it is kind of funny seeing Gaz and Price's faces when they notice the bullet hole in the front of his shirt.

The sight of Simon helping Johnny move along with a hand on the small of his back leaves him with mixed feelings.

There's the "I knew it!! I told you so!!" that he was expecting, of course, because he's always right and he did know it would happen. But there's also a pinch in his chest that he hadn't really expected. It's a feeling that he hadn't really felt since a really long time, since he was a teenager, probably.

Jealousy.

He hates it, he's always hated it. But the worst is he doesn't even know who he's jealous of. Perhaps he's finally remembering that he's dead and they're not, that all this flirting he's been doing with Johnny wouldn't have led to anything.

The grown arse sunshine of a man turns his head back, looking slightly confused, looking for him. When his eyes land on him, he beams so hard that it actually illuminates his whole face and Roach can't do anything except gravitate towards him like a moth to a light.

Wrong bug, he snorts internally.

"What's with you, smiley face?" he hears Simon ask when he gets closer.

Johnny is still looking straight at him, his smile getting softer. "Nothing," he answers, his gaze burning Roach more than the fire had. "Just glad you're here and glad we're leaving."

#cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #gary roach sanderson #soaproach #ghostroach #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghostsoaproach #accidental necromancer soap and ghost roach au #roach is in love!#just a reminder to anyone who reads these but hasn't read the original post that while roach's a bit angsty right now it's gonna get better #roach is my darling baby bug and he'll always have a happy ending in my stories !#even if there's a bit of angst before (i'm sorry i like torturing my babies for some reason)

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lovemyromance · 2 months

Text

Listen, if someone can just tell me why/how Azriel knows that Cassian would feel it if Nesta was dead, I'll shut up forever.

I'm definitely willing to accept that this is another literary, figurative way to just say "Oh, you'll know in your heart if she's alive or not."

But this is magic fae world with mating bonds that can be felt. With love, attraction, lust, anger, sorrow, all emotion basically being able to be felt through the mating bond between a pair.

So I ask again - how does Azriel know? He taps Cassian's chest and says, "Right here–you'd know, Cass."

Like?? Hello?? How does he have the exact coordinates to this feeling?? What is giving him GPS powers??

Could it be-perhaps-that he knows because he has felt it before?

But when could he have felt such a feeling, if he does not have a mate? How?

It's haunting me, truly. I'm sitting here trying to think how this man would know what that feels like, and I've come to two conclusions:

Maybe Mor is his mate, and he felt that same feeling of emptiness in his chest when she was left beaten/with nails in her stomach from her failed betrothal to Eris. It was a traumatic moment for her, and Azriel has always been ready to defend her honor.

But this situation still doesn't make sense. If they were mates, how is he able to move on from Mor after 500 years? Cassian notes Azriel seemed to have moved on in ACOSF. Mor seems to be perfectly fine and well, so it's not like she has been in any danger since that would imply that's the reason why Azriel knows what a mating bond going silent feels like

OR, and in my opinion, the far more likely theory:

When Elain went into the Cauldron, Azriel was shot by a faebane arrow. Or whatever poison it was that snuffs out all magic, including the bond. He was basically dead to the world. Maybe there was some kind of bond that was supposed to snap between them, and so when Elain went into the Cauldron, it assigned her to a different male, after presuming Azriel as dead.

Maybe that dormant bond still lingered, even when Elain was taken by Hybern. When they put those chains on her, that also snuffed out all magic. Maybe that's when Azriel noticed he couldn't feel Elain anymore. Maybe that's why he was so, so desperate to get her back. To get those chains off her, even though his wings were shredded. Maybe that's how he knows what that emptiness in your chest feels like when you lose your mate.

What is very interesting about the Hybern/Elain's chains situation is that she was still mated to Lucien during that. And yet, Lucien did not magically arrive at their camp (he knows where they were, he arrived like the next day smh), and declare he was going to get her back. He can winnow. He can sense the bond, that thread between him and Elain. Where was he, when he got that emptiness in his chest? When he presumably sensed his mate was gone? He did not act like Cassian when Nesta got taken for the BR. He did not go insane, demanding he needs her back. He did not even attempt to send word or check in with Feyre/Rhys. No, that was all Azriel.

And please do not reply to this with "Oh, well how do you know he didn't do any of that?" um. because if SJM did not mention it on the page, why should I consider that a possibility at this given time? She has no reason to not mention that. In fact, if she were going for Elucien, it would have been a great way to show Elain the perks of the mating bond and have her become more accepting of it, but Lucien was. not. there.

Those are the only two times we've seen Azriel lose his cool. When it's situations around Mor's honor, and now situations with Elain. Not going to even bother commenting on Gw*n, as Azriel has not shown any reaction to her despite being around her every day in ACOSF and barely acting phased and going to save Eris instead when the girls were taken to the BR. Like, completely wrong redhead, my dude.

Personally, I would like it more if Elriel weren't actually mates, and still chose each other. But this whole mating bond thing with Lucien/Elain/Azriel is so suspicious to me. I need some answers Sarah!!

#elriel #elain archeron #azriel #elain x azriel #pro elain #acotar #elain #antielucien

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yayakoishii · 7 months

Note

Before I send my request your way lemme tell you how much I loved reading your recent Sanji Fics!! I enjoyed them a lot!!

And as for a request, I don't have anything specific but a vague scenario in my head. The strawhats dock at a lone mysterious island. And they as usual disperse off to do their own things when Sanji happens to stumble upon the reader. Perhaps caught in some trouble, going around with a hidden identity? I'm sorry this is cringe. But it's been in my head for a while now. Whether this ends up interesting you or not, I just wanted you to know, it's been a lot of fun reading you! Have a good day! Or night :D

Unfortunate Encounters | Sanji x Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x Reader

Word Count: 5,997 (that's practically 6k)

Genre: Light Fluff, more Angst, happy ending ofc!

Warnings: Plot heavy, light swearing. Slightly ooc crew maybe? I'm still new to writing for OP, please excuse any mistakes!

A/n: First off, thank you so much for the sweet words anon ;-; they really made my day <3 As for the request, this was not cringe at all!! I got super into it and I had like 3-4 mental drafts of how this fic could go (the og ending was even more angsty lol, but I decided to cut back...) I may have focused too much on the 'lone, mysterious island' part because this was more plot heavy than romantic. The inner plot writer in me emerged because of your prompt; I'm not a romance writer so I struggle with that in this fic >< However, I did enjoy writing it so I hope you enjoy this one too! Thanks for sending such a fun request ❤️

also available on ao3!

The log pose had brought them to another island, but even before they had touched down, Sanji could feel something was up with it. The island just gave off some vibes he couldn't place and he wasn't one to chalk it off to a mistake. His intuition told him something was going to happen here.

"There doesn't seem to be a town here," Nami frowned, looking at the island. All they could see for miles and miles was a dense tropical forest, with trees that seemed larger than their usual size. When they got off the Thousand Sunny, Sanji realised that it was too silent. There were no sounds of birds or any animals that he could hear from the shoreline. "Be careful, guys."

They decided to separate and cover the island quicker. The log pose needed time to reset and it was a curious little island anyway. They could cover it within a day, maximum. Something in Sanji's gut twisted in protest but until he could explain it, there was no way he could stop the chaotic crew. So he let it be and started hacking a path to somewhere.

The trees were dense and the forest was dark, lit up on random intervals by sudden sunbeams that looked like nature's spotlights. Sanji hummed to himself as he studied the plants around him. He walked for a while, noting all the things he could use but not picking anything because the island just rubbed him off the wrong way. It felt dangerous to pick any part of it.

Sanji walked for a while, pausing only when he felt he had heard something – something that sounded like a rustle of leaves, but he couldn't sense a person. He couldn't sense anything but the wind, a gentle breeze drifting through the trees. Strangely, he had not yet come across any of the other Straw Hats either, even though he had been walking for well over an hour and the island wasn't that big in the first place.

There was another rustling, but this time, Sanji could feel a presence. Multiple ones, to be precise. He tensed and cautiously moved aside the curtain of vines blocking his views. The clearing revealed in front of him shocked him– it was like all the animals of the entire island had gathered in one place. And they were all looking at something that he couldn't see.

The moment he stepped in, the animals all turned to him, some of them baring teeth or growling and it was so much sound after so much silence that even Sanji couldn't help the shiver running along his back. A human shout of, "It's okay guys! I'm okay now!" distracted the animals and they turned back to whatever– or rather, whoever, they had been looking at.

Sanji held back, not quite sure what to make of the whole situation, until he heard a barely audible, "Disperse."

Almost like a flip was switched, the animals scattered and Sanji was left incredulously staring at the vines in the middle of the clearing, from where a figure gracefully jumped down. You straightened up and patted at your hair to check for any stray leaves or twigs before you walked over to him.

"An intruder?" You asked, smiling amusedly. "Been a while since we had one."

"That's a harsh word, beautiful," Sanji couldn't hold himself back from calling you that way, after he had gotten over his shock enough to note your features.

"Would you prefer 'uninvited guest'?" You cocked an eyebrow, not cutting eye contact as you straightened out your clothes.

"Ah, you hurt my poor heart," he said, a little bit dramatically as he leaned closer but still at a respectable distance. "Am I unwelcome in your home, goddess of these woods?"

"Wh-?" You couldn't help the chuckle that left your lips at his words. "You're quite something, alright. And as fun as you are, you really are unwelcome here, sorry."

"Why?" Sanji asked curiously. The entire experience felt like some weird fever dream to him, and he couldn't quite make head or tails of anything that was happening but the one thing he was sure of was that there was something about you that piqued his curiosity in all the ways.

"You can't stay on this island," you shrugged and walked past him, expecting him to follow you. Sanji did not fail, falling in step behind you as you started walking somewhere. "2 days, that's all you get. Any longer and… well, it's better if you don't find out."

"Alright, then I guess I'll let my crew know," Sanji sighed, figuring he wasn't getting any more out of you after seeing your guarded expression. The moment he finished his sentence though, you froze in your step and turned around to face him in horror.

"Did you just say… crew?" Your voice sounded a little hoarse and Sanji paused, looking at you in concern. "Please tell me your crew is not on the island."

"If I said that, it would be a lie, sweetheart," Sanji's brows furrowed even as he said it. Something was wrong. Your expression melted into one of full-blown panic, anger and horror.

"Not again!" You cried, burying your face in your hands.

"What's wrong?" Sanji would really, really like some answers today. The entire day had been confusing and eerie vibes and the growing chill in his stomach was now an unnecessary addition.

"What's wrong," you snapped, looking wild and terrified for a second, "is that your entire crew is fucking loose on a cursed island! If they do not get off this island in 3 nights, they will turn into animals and never, ever turn back to humans."

Sanji just stared at you for a few seconds before he dropped the unlit cigarette he had pulled out of his pocket. You were pacing around in circles and he had so many questions that he didn't even know where to begin.

"Then I'll just tell them when we all meet back?" He said unsurely except you turned to face him with eyes full of unshed tears.

"That's a great plan," you said a little sarcastically, "except for the part where this island is cursed and anyone who isn't an animal can't find their way out. Ever. They literally cannot find the way back on their own."

Sanji's jaw dropped. He stared back at you in equal parts horror.

"This has to be the Moss Head's curse spreading," he whispered to himself.

Half an hour later, the two of you were making your way through the dense foliage, exchanging questions and answers– although Sanji was the one doing the asking the most.

You had calmed down after finding out that the crew only had 9 members. You could probably find 8 people in less than 3 days. The island wasn't that big.

Sanji's first question was about how you weren't affected by the curse.

"Because I'm not fully human," you had replied off-handedly and not offered more. It only added to your mystery but despite all your secrets, Sanji could somehow feel inside him that you weren't a bad person. You were going out of your way to help out so that their crew won't turn into animals– if the curse didn't affect you, then you could have very well done nothing.

Then he asked about the other things on his mind. Were the animals in the forest also humans? To his horror, you had replied with a sad yes.

"The log pose doesn't take pirates to this island much," you had explained as you expertly and gracefully made your way over the thorny plants and overgrown roots. Your movement was almost like a mystical dance and Sanji couldn't take his eyes off of it, thankful that you were walking in front of him and couldn't see his ogling. "It's rare but it happens sometimes. Mostly single man boats tossed through storms end up here, but there's been two small crews who came here after me. There were already some animals on the island before though, and I'm pretty sure they were once humans too."

"And there's no cure for this?" Sanji swallowed, his heart hammering from a weird mix of fear, nervousness and excitement.

"Nothing as far as I know," you confirmed, pausing to close your eyes and feel something. "That direction, I can sense someone."

You ran over without waiting for Sanji and he was left to catch up by taking long strides. Before he could show himself though, he felt the presence close in on you and automatically moved in to defend you. His boots rammed against the blunt hilt of a familiar katana.

"Love cook?" Zoro's eyes widened in surprise and he immediately tucked his swords back in. Sanji ignored him in favour of ensuring that you were okay. He found you staring behind him curiously at Zoro, as if the swordsman fascinated you. It didn't mean anything, but it left him feeling a little irritated at Zoro. "Who's this?"

"Um." Sanji realised he had never asked you for your name. Or given you his.

"Inconsequential," you waved it off. "It's not like we're to know each other longer than a day or two. Let's just go and search for the rest. Blondie here can explain everything to you on the way."

"Sanji," he blurted out, reeling back when he saw your surprised face. "Forgive my insolence, sweetheart. I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Vimsoke Sanji."

"Well, Sanji," you smiled at him, already walking like you knew where you were going, "get your friend to join us and follow me."

Gladly, his heart answered for him.

✿

You knew this was a mistake. It never ended well when you met other people and liked them. And as you collected more of the Straw Hats, you couldn't help but like them all more and more. You knew this was a mistake, but you couldn't bring yourself to regret it because you knew that if you didn't help them, they would be cursed too.

You had eventually acquiesced and given them your first name, careful not to offer your last name in case any of them recognised you. Zoro seemed to be staring at you quite frequently, but maybe it was just a Straw Hat thing? Sanji had been staring at you the whole time too. Or maybe you looked hideous and they were all politely staying quiet. You didn't quite know, but the thought of looking terrible in front of them (in front of that beautiful blonde boy) was a little mortifying to you.

All those thoughts took a backseat though, because you were on a mission. By the time evening rolled around and the sky had turned to pitch black darkness, you had found a cyborg and a rubber man called Luffy, who was the captain of the ship. He didn't really feel like a captain, or somebody who commanded everyone, but the Straw Hats didn't seem like a typical group of people. They were… unique.

"Let's stop for tonight," you said after assessing the darkness. Of course, you could see everything clearly even in the darkness, but they didn't need to know that. The less they knew about you…

"Shouldn't we keep going?" Zoro asked, looking around.

"Trust me, we're better off waiting the night out," you answered, already settling into the clearing for the night. You had to get a fire going and find food and there were things to be done.

"So I can't eat the animals?" Luffy pouted for the fifth time, asking the same question.

"No, Luffy," you sighed, waving a stick at him. "They might look like animals, but they are people. Please don't kill them or try to eat them."

"They won't attack our crewmates, would they?" Sanji asked, looking worried. You finally managed to light a fire and carefully structured a ring of stones around it to ensure it won't get out before answering.

"The curse lets them have their brain for most of the time," you fidgeted on the spot. "But sometimes, if you harm them, or if they get really hungry, or, y'know… their animal instincts kick in and then they are more animal than human. But it's rare, and won't happen if you don't harm their survival."

The crew fell silent and you watched them whisper amongst themselves a bit. They probably wanted to talk things out, so you got up and said you would go grab something to eat.

"Please don't leave this clearing," you warned them as you walked away. "Finding you again would be so much trouble."

You heard footsteps following you though and turned around to find Sanji trailing behind you.

"Sanji?" You asked, confused. His tall, lanky figure in the forefront of the golden orange light spilling from the fire you started was a picturesque scenery that left your heart thumping a little louder than usual.

"Would you be okay with some company?" He asked quietly. "I'm a chef, so I could probably help you gather some food."

"Alright," you nodded. The two of you walked a while in silence until you found the spot where there were a bunch of large fruits and flowers that you started gathering. Sanji observed what you collected in the little moonlight that was shining through the trees, but you could see him struggling.

"You can see in the dark?" He asked after a beat of silence.

"Mm," you were exhausted from the day. Lying and avoiding things was tiring as it is, and you really weren't in the mood to play the game. If Sanji knew who you were… would it really be that bad? He had been kind so far, always at a respectable distance but with honeyed sweet words that tugged at your heartstrings. You had never had anyone flirt with you, but Sanji was the first. And it left you feeling giddy and warm, the attention he gave you without losing any of the respect and your need for secrecy. If he knew… would he hate you?

Sanji didn't say anything for a while, just offered up his arms for you to stack all the food you had collected.

"Who else is remaining?" You asked, finding the silence was eating at your insides. You had spent so long in silence. And now that you had people around again, you wanted to make the most of it before they had to leave. Just for a while, you could forget and pretend that you're one of them. Just for a while.

"Nami-san, Robin-san," Sanji said, "Brook and Chopper. Wait, Chopper!"

Sanji clapped his hands like he had just thought of something. You looked at him curiously.

"Chopper is a reindeer," Sanji said hurriedly.

"You have a reindeer in your crew…?" You were confused. The Straw Hats were definitely one of a kind, alright.

"He ate the Hito Hito no Mi so he can talk and walk," Sanji explained. "He's our doctor but that's not important right now. He's an animal, right? So he wouldn't be affected by the curse?"

"Highly likely that he isn't," you confirmed.

"Which means he must be the only one back on the ship," Sanji murmured to himself. That's one person (animal?) less to search for, you mused. "He must be scared."

"I hope he's okay," you said quietly. The animals on the island knew each other well. If Chopper ran into them… You didn't really know what would happen. Animals could be scary when they were territorial.

The two of you finished collecting as much as you could carry and walked back, and you asked Sanji to tell you about their adventures. He indulged you, colouring a vivid and humorous picture of the crew in the short while it took you two to get back.

You came back to find Zoro sleeping on his side while Luffy was springing around in the clearing, howling about being hungry and crying for Sanji. Franky sat against a tree, fiddling with something on his body that you didn't wait to see despite your curiosity.

As Sanji started portioning the food to serve to everyone, you stood back and watched the crew interact quietly. It was strange, how at home you felt with them despite not knowing them– but you attributed it to your loneliness.

Even if you wanted to be one of them, you could never curse them like that.

The next morning, you found Nami at the top of a tree. You had seen her when gathering some flowers for breakfast, asleep. You decided to get Sanji to recognise her before you woke her up and got her down. Seeing Sanji fawn and fret over her made you insanely jealous; but you forced it down under a smile and led them back to the camp that had already been cleared up.

You gave the crew a few minutes to catch up and celebrate before you started the search again.

"So…" you searched for a topic as the six of you trudged through the forest. "A reindeer, a cyborg, a gum man, an ex-pirate hunter… Who should I expect next?"

"A skeleton!" Luffy excitedly yelled as he swung past you on the vines, nearly making you stumble from the shock.

"A… what?!" You turned to stare at Sanji in shock, who just smiled softly and shrugged.

"Brook is…" he explained the whole story without getting tired and you couldn't help but be fascinated by everything. The more you learned about them, the more they intrigued you, the more you wanted to beg them to let you join them. But you didn't let those thoughts come to life in words, just helping them find the said skeleton from where he was surrounded by some of the island's animals growling at him.

"Down, guys," you shouted and the animals immediately backed off, all staring at you with innocent eyes that made you huff in laughter. "Don't pull that on me, I just saw you. I know you mean well but it's a little scary when you're surrounded by animals."

One of the deer whined and bumped its snout into your hand. You could feel the Straw Hats staring as you petted it and whispered it to leave the skeleton to you. When the animals had dispersed, you shot a grin at Brook.

"Hi there!" You held out a hand, "It's my first time meeting a skeleton!"

Once the pleasantries were out of the way, you started covering the northern part of the island. It was the only place remaining, aside from the centre. You found Usopp and Chopper there, the two of them hugging each other and bawling.

As it turned out, Chopper had in fact gone back after finding nothing on the island only to find out that no one else had returned. So he had stayed the night in the ship and then came back in search of the others even though he was scared.

"That was very brave of you," you patted him on the head. The reindeer blushed and glared at you.

"I'm not pleased by that at all!!" So he said, but you could see the smile on his face. With almost all of them collected, you started your way to the centre of the island when you heard the clouds rumble.

The sky was full of grey clouds and you were ready for rain, since this was the season on the island.

"There's an underground cave near here," you told the crew as you led them through the thick canopy of trees. "I usually go there when it rains so let's wait it out before we search for… Robin, was it?"

Zoro grumbled something about constant waiting but you chose to ignore it. You knew this island better than any of them. Rains were harsh and the droplets were like bullets on the skin. You couldn't find Robin on the way to the cave but when you reached its opening which looked like a hole in the ground, surrounded by overgrown grass, you felt a presence inside.

The last Straw Hat member was inside the cave, much to all of your relief. This time, you truly stepped back and let the crew reunite, feeling like a true outcast for the first time. Your time together with them was over. Once the rain was gone, they would be out of here and you would be alone again.

Except Sanji turned to you and offered you his hand to invite you into their awkward group hug that Usopp had initiated. You didn't want to intrude but they all looked at you with similar grins and smiles and you couldn't hold it back. You joined them, savouring your first hug in years.

✿

As it turned out, the runes you had found on one of the walls of the cave actually had some sort of meaning that Robin had been able to decipher in the while she had spent in the cave. She had apparently found the cave the previous night and stayed in, then worked on the runes in the morning when she found them.

"It's about a curse on this island," she explained. "Like (y/n) already told us, if anyone spends 3 nights on this island, it turns them into an animal forever. There's a piece of it missing at the end, but the last line says 'the answer lies in the satisfaction of life and a prayer answered'."

"What does that mean?" you asked, confused.

"I'm not really sure," she admitted, running her fingers over the runes. The whole crew mulled over the words as you waited for the rain to stop. You didn't join into the conversation, just letting your mind work quietly with their suggestions as background.

Satisfaction in life… A prayer answered… None of it seemed to make sense. The Straw Hats didn't need to help the animals out, but they were still trying to figure it out. The crew was clearly good at heart and you were glad that you helped them out, even though you would only be left with hurt after they were gone. That pain was worth it.

A squirrel scampered up to you while you listened; the rain outside seemed to be slowing down. You knew the squirrel was the girl around your age who had ended up on the island after a shipwreck. You scooped her up and let her sit on your hand, where she tried to shake off the water from her soaking body. The water sprinkled onto you and you let out a fake indignant "hey!" that made her laugh. Not that you had ever seen squirrels laugh, but you could always understand the animals on the island.

"We found something here," you said quietly to her, bringing her close to wipe off some of the water from her body. "It could be an answer to turning you all back to humans."

She tilted her head and stared at you.

"But none of us understand the riddle," you continued, feeling apologetic to them. You had been the only person on the island who was unaffected by the curse, so you felt like it was somehow your responsibility to help them all turn back. And yet, you had failed at that over and over again. Saira, as the girl's name had been, simply shook her squirrel head and placed a tiny paw on your chest where you had tucked her close.

"It's alright," you could hear her saying in your head. To the others, it probably sounded like a bunch of squeaks. "It's not that bad. I long gave up hope of turning back. Being a squirrel is not that bad. Being able to spend everyday with you who looks out for all of us… I'm happy. All of us are."

Your chest swelled with the emotions and for the first time in a long while, tears streamed down your cheeks. You had held it all in for so long, not wanting to burden the helpless creatures that always kept you company. But knowing their faith in and love for you made your insides warm.

"All we want is for you to be happy too," Saira continued, turning her head to look at the crew. You glanced at them, noticing that Sanji was looking over at you two. "I know you. Go with them."

"I can't," you said in a choked whisper. "Even if they let me, I can't do that to them. I'm not… I'm a curse, Saira. I can't risk it."

The squirrel looked at you helplessly as you cried a little more. Eventually, you wiped away the tears and let your eyes shut to listen to the pitter patter of rain outside. Saira scrambled off your body and over to Sanji, who had watched you the whole while but hadn't heard what you had said.

When you opened your eyes, the rain had stopped. You looked around blearily, and found the Straw Hats all lying around, looking upset.

"You guys should have woken me up when the rain stopped," you said, rubbing your face as you stood up. "Come on, you must be missing your ship, yeah?"

"(Y/n)," Sanji started, looking a little nervous. You looked at him quizzically, but Zoro spoke up before he could say what he wanted.

"Or should we say Kuroneko no (Y/n)?" The familiar words made you freeze in horror. "Harbinger of Death? A 30 million bellies bounty."

"That's…" You took an involuntary step back, bumping into the cave wall. They knew. They knew the secret you had tried so hard to hide. They knew… and they were still looking at you with badly hidden curiosity and grins. None of them looked scared, or upset anymore, like they had been when you were asleep. "I'm… I don't want to lie. That's me. But I swear, I'm not going to do anything. I mean, I don't even actually do anything, all of those incidents just happened–"

"(Y/n)," Sanji placed a hand atop your head, effectively stopping your rambling. You looked up at him, afraid to see him look at you differently, but if anything, his eyes had only become softer. "It's okay. I wish you had told us before, but we get it."

"You do…?" Somehow, it felt too good to be true. People were usually upset when others lied and kept secrets. The secret of who you were could essentially have been a matter of life or death. Kuroneko no (y/n), or rather, Black Cat (y/n) was a name based on your Devil Fruit powers that let you turn into a cat. But they were also a result of you being the only survivor in 4 separate incidents– the annihilation of your home island, the mass genocide in a war town country and the two small crews you had once been a part of. Every single time, all the people had died and you were the only one alive left behind. You had never belonged anywhere, so how could you believe now would be any different?

"It must have been very lonely," Robin's sorrowful eyes reflected that she understood you on some level. You didn't know what to think or feel, unwilling to let yourself hope for anything beyond acceptance.

"It was," you admitted, more to yourself than to them. You had never let yourself truly dwell on the thought, but you had been so, so lonely. "I won't stick around for long. I'll take you to your ship and you'll be free of this island's curse, and of my own. So if–"

"Your curse?" Sanji looked at you, confused.

"It's not exactly a curse," you hesitated, "but there's nothing else I can call it for why… the people I care for end up dead."

"That's not true," Luffy frowned, walking over to you. "Everyone here is still alive. Everyone on this island is alive, we are alive. You are not cursed."

"You were like a blessing in disguise," Usopp said from where he stood, not looking you in the eyes. "I was of course not afraid at all, considering my heavy list of achievements, but you brought us all back together."

"I'm…" you didn't know what to say, feeling overwhelmed.

"You're not cursed, sweetheart," Sanji gently held up your hand, squeezing it to comfort you. "You just had a string of… unfortunate events."

Sanji's struggle to find the right term made you let out a small giggle. Maybe you should extend a hand. Maybe this time…

"Maybe I'm not cursed?" You said hopefully, looking up into his clear blue eyes. Sanji nodded, carefully tucking back a lock of hair behind your ear. The action made you flush, suddenly realising the proximity you two were in.

A flash of light startled all of you and you turned around to find Saira, the human, standing in the place of where the squirrel was. The girl was staring at her own hands and body, like this was a dream. You blinked, unable to believe your eyes either.

Outside the cave, you could hear shouts. Human shouts.

"What just-?" You ran out to find the people who had been turned into animals were back to human. "How…"

"Satisfaction of life and a prayer answered," Robin's voice from behind you was startling. You turned to look at her, and she smiled down at you. "Perhaps the answer was just for the animals to be happy with who they are, with no regrets."

"Then… Then why didn't it change them back before?" You said, voice barely above a whisper.

"Perhaps their prayer wasn't answered back then," she placed a hand on your shoulder and patted it. Did she mean that it only happened now because your one wish through life had been answered? To be free of the curse you had…

With much enthusiasm, the crew got out of the underground cave and everyone was celebrating. The sight of everyone back made you feel like this was the happiest day of your life. You participated in it, letting yourself enjoy the moment without worrying or thinking of anything.

The sun was already setting when the party started and it went on for hours as everyone laughed and danced and ate. (If you were fascinated by how much Luffy could eat, you kept it to yourself to be polite.) It was probably getting close to midnight when Sanji sought you out to where you were sitting by yourself and just watching everyone with fond eyes.

He didn't say a word at first, just sat down next to you. At that distance, you could feel the warmth of his body and you subconsciously leaned closer to the source. For the first time in a long while, your heart felt at peace.

"How did you end up on this island?" Sanji's question made you look over at him. He wasn't demanding an answer, just looking down at you with deep blue eyes that seemed to flash golden as they reflected the bonfire.

"I was on the run from the Marines around a year ago," you hummed, feeling safe and comfortable enough in his presence to finally talk about yourself. After years of not being able to share anything with anyone, it felt freeing to tell him something even as simple as this. "I had just escaped the battle between the crew I was in and this one big pirate ship that I don't even remember anymore. I was wounded but I reached this island on a small boat somehow with a half broken log pose. I shifted into my cat form, which looks less like a cat and more like a black jaguar if anything, to ensure that no one recognised me– because my full transformation is not known by the Marines. I stayed in that form for quite a while, too scared and shaken at that time to turn back into human. Only after a few days of exploring the island did I realise there are no humans here.

"I thought… if there was any place I could not affect anyone with my curse, it would be here. Away from any humans who would get affected by it. At that time, I didn't know about the curse. Looking back on it, I suspect that maybe the curse never affected me because I was in my animal form for 3 nights. Or maybe it was just because that form is like my second skin. I was never disappointed or dissatisfied with it. I only found out about the curse after Saira came on the island and turned into a squirrel. And then two other pirate crews."

"That must have been hard for you," Sanji's voice was quiet but there was no way you could miss the low timbre of it over the excitement all around you. Not when it was the same voice that set your heart off; you wanted to hear everything he had to say. Wanted to know him more and more, as much as he would let you. "(Y/n)-chan."

"Mm?" You turned to look at him, breathless at the proximity from where you could no longer smell the perfume he smelled of the first time you met. The smell coming off him now was something purely him. It was a little intoxicating when coupled with the warm atmosphere and the gooey feeling in your stomach.

"Would you… like to join us?" Sanji seemed a little nervous asking you that. The question gobsmacked you and you stared at him. He… wanted you to join them? As a part of the crew? "I asked Luffy and he said that if you want it, then he's all for it."

"Sanji…" you bit your lower lip, unsure once again. Even though you felt free of the curse, the mentality couldn't be erased in a day. The what ifs, the fear, the apprehension was all still there. "What if we're wrong, though? What if I really am cursed and this has just been a really long build-up to something worse? I might be a risk to your–"

"You're not," Sanji interrupted you for the first time since you had met. The quiet but firm determination blazing in his eyes surprised you. "I believe in you. (Y/n)-chan, if you would let me, I would gladly prove it to you by staying by your side for the rest of your life. I'll stay alive and well, and show you that it's not your fault. I'll be by your side to the very end, so place your fears in my hands and… trust me on this, even if you don't trust anything else."

That little crush you had developed on him at the start seemed to blow up in that moment into a gigantic furnace of emotions. He was ready to take the risk of death, and saying every word with such sincerity that any inhibitions you had went out the window. You couldn't stop yourself from wanting him any longer– he was like the sun, taking your world by storm.

"Really?" You didn't realise when the tears started streaming down your face until his gentle hands came up to wipe them. "You'll stay?"

"I will," and that genuine sincerity was something you couldn't help but believe in. "I will be there for you, as long as you need me."

"Sanji." His name felt both urgent and at ease from your lips.

"(Y/n)-chan," he whispered, voice open and vulnerable again. "Do you… want to be a part of the Straw Hats?"

You swallowed and wondered if you really deserved this much happiness after everything. Yet the moment you looked into his eyes, you felt like there was nothing you could do but be a moth chasing the sun– running after something that you knew will only end up in flames.

"I do."

°•❀•°

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece fanfic #one piece imagines #one piece sanji #op sanji #vinsmoke sanji #vinsmoke sanji x reader #sanji x reader #sanji fanfic #sanji #black leg sanji #angst with a happy ending #light fluff #plot heavy #or as heavy as it can get in a 6k fic

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sehtoast · 29 days

Note

Hii! Id like a request!

Could you perhaps do a scenario where the reader gets stranded at an airport (Perhaps with panic attack)?

I'm experiencing this currently and thinking about Homelander is helping, Somehow

i'm so sorry you had to go through that anon ❤️ homie has an odd way of making life's woes suck a little less. apologies that this took as long as it did (and also i've never been in an airport before so idk if this is even the right vibe adfkljdfk), but i hope it's still enjoyable and i hope your airport adventure ended happily.

Oh, if you thought it couldn’t get worse, you were so wrong.

Cancellations across the board, a raging snow storm outside, disgruntled people everywhere, and far too much noise for your overloaded senses. This is what you get for flying out to go see a friend in the dead of winter.

It wasn’t like you could call an uber to the nearest hotel, either. Pretty much nobody was going anywhere in this storm, and you’ve been here for hours now. God, you should’ve picked a morning flight, but you just haaaad to sleep in.

Eventually it started getting to you.

You’re alone, surrounded by angry people, in the middle of fuck knows where, with no guarantee of getting home or if your ticket is still going to be honored and–

You don’t even notice your breathing growing frantic until it’s overpowering and all you can do is hug your knees and try to stay calm–

You reach for your phone and send off a text to the one person who would maybe be awake at this hour.

God I’m fucking stuck here and I miss you and I don’t know what to do.

Your chest feels tight and your mouth is dry. You hold your phone tight, cringing at the battery level.

7%.

You’d love to charge it, but the iPad parents are currently occupying every outlet in the area and if you hear one more child scream because they couldn’t watch their damn skibidi toilet videos–

It buzzes and you unlock it like a madman.

Told ya you should’ve flown air-Homelander.

You smile, warmth trickling in to fill your otherwise endless pit of anxiety.

It would’ve been too cold on my face :( and you’d be carrying all my luggage. Besides, I couldn't ask you to fly all this way.

The next response comes almost instantly. Well, as instantly as it can with how slow he types.

Picky picky. Where are you?

In the lounge-ish area. On the floor, because I guess I picked the busiest airport in the world…

2%. You’re almost ready to snag one of those outlets and suffer the blubbering.

Shucks, that’s a bummer.

It’s not so–

You wince as your screen flickers, waves of sadness overtaking you in conjunction with that dreaded anxiety. Gone is your only lifeline, and it hits you that you’ll have technically left him on read too. You should’ve told him about your battery– fuck, fuck, fuck.

You hug your knees again and shove your useless earbuds in, hoping to dampen some of the noise. It doesn’t work, and you can distinctly make out the sound of a man loudly demanding a full refund.

You try to imagine Homelander. What tales would he have for you once you returned home? How much trouble did he stir up while you were away? Probably the usual, but… you were supposed to see him tomorrow morning when you got home.

God, that thought makes you ache for home even more.

You shut your eyes and attempt a nap.

You try and try to sleep to no avail. Just when you think you might get a wink of rest, you hear audible gasps and shouting. Your eyes shoot open, expecting the absolute worst, but all you see are two imposing sets of red boots.

“You forgot to text me back,” he says nonchalantly.

Tears of joy bite at your eyes as you look up, and you all but launch yourself off the ground and into his arms.

“M’sorry,” you mumble against him. “Battery died.”

“Mm, if you say so. I feel like this was all part of your elaborate plan to get me here.” Homelander pulls away just slightly to look down at you, a twinkle of sympathy in his eyes- a very rare sight. “Well, I know I can’t fly you home, because you’ll turn into a big popsicle, but… there is a hotel nearby and you do deserve a nice place to lay your head.”

Your heart feels so warm it could melt the blizzard outside.

“You just gotta tolerate a little cold.” He grins, winking at you. “And air-Homelander doesn’t have delays. No luggage fees either.”

You throw yourself back into the hug, squeezing him with all you’ve got.

“You’re the best,” you whisper in his ear.

“Yeah, I know.” He replies, uncaring of the spectacle you two must be. “Now let’s get you cozy.”

#homelander #homelander x reader #homelander fanfiction #antony starr #the boys #request

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mrsbrookemunson · 10 months

Note

I have a Sebastian Sallow request for you!!! Reader and Sebastian are the top two duelers at Hogwarts, and they’re each others enemies. They always bicker and try to one up each other. Everyone is sure they hate each other. But then comes the last championship day of duels, and in the duel before she’s supposed to fight Sebastian, she gets really hurt and Sebastian panics and rushes her to the hospital wing. They realize they actually like each other and perhaps some love confessions??

You're a real one for this - aka one of my favorite writers 💕 I changed up the request a little to make it more angsty—I still hope you like it 🥹 Also - hey guys! I am new in the Hogwarts Legacy writing community, but I've been known for my James Potter and Remus Lupin fics - along with some other fan favorites.

Warnings: *Not Proofread*, Canon violence (blood, injury, fighting), insecurities, slight dark!seb in this, mentions of gameplay (slight spoiler warning), fem!reader, she/her pronouns, "MC' insert, heavy angst in the beginning and a bittersweet ending (can be left up to interpretation) This is like a complete alternative of what happened in the game. Be warned *insert evil smile*.

Word Count: 2343

Darkness.

That's all she saw in that moment. She could hear her own heartbeat, the blood rushing through her veins, her own slow, shaky, weak breaths as the pain of breathing soon subsided into numbness.

Where did it all go wrong?

The image of his eyes nearly black as the night sky, and that haunting smirk on his face that she grew so fond over.

Fond. Now that was one way to describe. No - she didn't hate him, but he hated her. Her feelings were quite the opposite, that soon behind each bicker and snicker grew a warmth in her chest - a fire that she learned to contain within herself, it would've only been a matter of time till she burnt herself.

Was it love?

It felt like life threw her warnings left, right, and center - that love only causes pain. She didn't think the pain would be so bad to the point where it led to her death. Though, as she slowly accepted the darkness behind her eyelids, she thought... maybe death wouldn't be so bad if it meant escaping the reality of heartbreak. Until she was drawn back out again.

Where did it all go so wrong?

They've been together through so much. He was the only person - besides Professor Fig - who she thought listened to her.

Oh how he listened to her...

"Let me see if I've got this straight. You have Ranrok and Rookwood after you because of something you found at Gringotts - where you ended up via a portkey. You can see traces of ancient magic that you think Ranrok is trying to harness. And now you've been witnessing memories left by 'keepers'? Oh! And this house belonged to a Hogwarts professor - who was one of these 'non-quidditch' keepers - hundreds of years ago." He shifted on his feet. "If I didn't know you - " His smile, it could send her over a million times. " - I'd think you were pulling my leg."

In that moment she couldn't believe her ears - had there really been someone in her life that truly listened to her?

"You're not listening to me!"

"Why would I listen to someone so ignorant?"

She cursed at herself, hearing the slight crack in her voice, and from her vision becoming blurry with tears. "Maybe your uncle was right... you don't know when to stop."

"Oh, I do know when to stop."

It felt like it only got worse after that. He was always disagreeing and trying to start arguments with her. Not thinking before acting. Who once always listened to her soon became a brick wall. Maybe she should've voiced her worries, maybe then she would've been able to salvage the already broken pieces of their friendship.

But, she didn't.

Instead, she chose to turn her back on him and walk away. She chose to avoid him - to ignore him. The number of letters that he sent increased every day when she simply tucked them away without reading them. Her stomach twisted and turned doing so - but it was better than the outcome that most-likely would've happened if she chose to stay.

And when the year ended, winning the battle against Ranrok, losing Professor Fig, she had the slightest sliver of hope that he would've spoken to her - grieved for her - oddly enough, she wanted him to yell at her for being stupid enough to go into such a war without his help. But, he didn't - and she felt foolish for thinking he would.

Would they ever speak again?

"MC, Mister Sallow - up onto the dueling platform," Professor Hecat instructed.

She swore she heard him grumble something under his breath. She noticed how Sebastian's physique changed over the summer after their fifth year. He became taller, his voice got deeper, his eyes became darker, and his skin got paler. Merlin, he looked sickly.

She glanced at him, cautiously before stepping up onto the platform.

She lost. He laughed. How cruel.

"She thinks just because she won a battle against Ranrok, she's the best dueler at the school."

It spread like wildfire.

Lucan was all over it. It seemed as though the two best duelers competing against each other was his way of keeping students engaged in his little 'unsanctioned' club.

It became much bigger than that.

Darkness.

"MC?" she heard a voice call out. "MC?! Wake up!"

"What have you done?"

Time slipped away from her. Seventh year came around, and no progress was made between her and the boy she desired in a way that was almost like a lucid dream. He was right there, she could touch him, feel him if she wanted to - but she knew, if she gave in - she'd wake up.

She didn't want to wake up.

Her own body didn't listen and her eyes cracked open. It was too bright to truly process her surroundings and the pain came back as if she was hit by a train. Her head hurt and it became hard to breathe again.

Why couldn't she breathe?!

Sobs escaped her when she felt something sticky on her hands. She looked down and saw blood soaking through her dueling clothes. She started to hyperventilate.

Hands came to grasp her face and she was met with brown eyes. Not the dark - nearly black - she found herself getting used to. No. Brown. Brown like honey, golden like the sun, melted chocolate she wanted to drown - merlin they were beautiful. Such eyes didn't deserve to hold tears nor look so broken, they deserved to be crinkled by smiling and closed by laughing too hard.

"S-Sebastian?" she called out in a rasp.

He shushed her and ran a hand down her head to soothe her wild, untamed hair. His eyes then widened when he pulled his hand away abruptly to glance down at his fingertips. That's when tears began to fall down his rosy, freckled cheeks. "It'll be okay, we're getting you help, okay?"

She couldn't quite understand him, like she was underwater. She felt dizzy and her eyes were getting heavy again.

"No - no - no, don't close your eyes." He patted her face. "Please, don't close your eyes. I need you to stay awake... help is on their way," he paused. "Stay awake from me."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Why would I do anything for you anymore?" she whispered.

His face contorted into one that expressed such hurt. "Wh - what?"

"After everything... why do you even care? You hate me."

His eyes widen. "H - Hate you? I never said - "

"Don't lie to me..." she cried. "You - you did this, didn't you?" She grew angry. "And to think I would've given you the world if you had just listened to me!" She struggled to raise her voice causing her to violently cough. "To think I loved you..." Her head rolled and he instinctively readjusted to keep her head steady.

"MC? MC?!" He shook her as he cried. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry - you're right - it's all my fault - "

"Step aside! Let us through!" Professor Sharp shouted over all the students panicked filled voices.

Professor Weasley, and Professor Hecat followed him.

Sebastian held onto her tight and attempted to wake her up once more. He pressed his fingers to her wrist, but couldn't find anything. Panic struck him like lightning, he leaned down to press his ear to her chest. Her heartbeat barely there. He watched as her skin was losing its color and he suddenly felt sick.

What had he done?

A couple days had passed and MC had not woken up, yet. But, she was alive... surrounded by gifts and 'get well soon' cards. Sebastian hadn't left her side and practically begged the professors to induce a punishment after she had woken. In this moment, he felt the need to be by her side.

The guilt was eating at him alive, already have gotten a lectured from the professors, Ominis, Natty, Poppy, Imelda - Hell, even Lucan was scolding him, adding the point that his club is ruined because of his actions. He couldn't stop thinking about what she said before she knocked out.

She loved him...

That thought sent butterflies throughout his whole body. And Merlin, he wishes she'd wake so he could say it back a million times over between apologies. Loved... Did she still love him? That dawned on him. He gripped her hand tightly in his as the fear crept in - this could be the last chance he has to ever act of feelings rather than insecurities.

When did it all go so wrong? he wondered.

"I love you too," he whispered to her in the dark infirmary. "I've loved you since you beat me in that duel to be honest." He chuckled, dryly. "My new charge." He smiled fondly over the memory. "That day we fought that troll, I must admit I was a little jealous. I wanted to prove to you that I could be your... 'knight in shining armor' as awful as that sounds..." He frowned. "But, you didn't need me. You never needed me." He shook his head. "You are stronger than you know." Tears began to flood his eyes. "I'm sorry I hurt you - I hurt you more times than I can count and - " He swallowed. "It will haunt me everyday pass death. Every time I close my eyes, it's a replay of what I did, a neverending nightmare where I see my reflection of who I've truly become. To the point i can't sleep or eat." He weeped. "Everyone was right. I don't know when to stop. And because of that I lose everyone around me... Maybe my uncle was right about me. Maybe I should just leave and never return." He raised her hand and gently kissed her knuckles. "As much as I'd miss Ominis, and Anne, and you - I'd probably be for the best... I'm just a disaster waiting to happen."

MC began to stir on the bed, her eyes fluttering open to meet his. "I did need you, you know," she whispered. "I needed you when it came to Ranrok, and when I lost Professor Fig - you were the only person I truly wanted to be there with me, but you weren't. And part of that is my fault... for so long - I just wanted you, it didn't matter what you had done, but I knew if I went to you my love for you would only grow and I knew that wasn't in the cards for us. You wanted so badly to save Anne, I knew I couldn't fit in there and it would've been selfish fo me to."

"I would've preferred you to be selfish rather than you shut me out."

"I never did such a thing! I tried talking to you but you'd never listen to me."

"Because i was angry - I was angry at where my life had become and who I was becoming and I knew if I opened my mouth I'd ruin everything between us."

"There was nothing between us!"

"I wanted there to be!"

"Well, I guess it didn't matter because look where we are now!"

He pulled his hand away to drag it over his face, using both hands to rub at his eyes. "What went so wrong between us?" he questioned, defeated.

They sat there in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable - but tensions were high. Thoughts coursing through both of their minds at a frantic, overwhelming pace.

MC closed her eyes to try and steady herself mentally. She sighed, "Sebastian I - "

"I want us to start over again, from the very beginning."

She looked rather surprised to hear him blurt out such a thought. "And what? Forget everything that's we've been through together?"

"No, but... we can at least try to move on." He sounded so hopeful. "At least give me a chance."

She laid back in her bed and observed him in silence. The way his eyes were practically pleading her to say yes, to give him relief of what she could tell had been weighing him down for the last two years.

"We'll get it right this time, I promise," he begged and reached out to grab her hand again. His dark circles became more prominent as they were glazed with tears. The moonlight seeping through the windows made him look like a crestfallen angel. "Please."

Her heart squeezed at the sound and sight. With hesitation she spoke, "My name is MC, I started in Hogwarts as a fifth year and crazily enough I can see traces of ancient magic and am known as the 'Hero of Hogwarts' because I defeated Ranrok and ultimately ended the Goblin War."

His smile left her breathless. Weak, yet so powerful. His shoulders lowered drastically with a shaky exhale. "That is a lot to take in... but I wouldn't mind listening to you talk for hours on hand if that's what if takes for you to tell me everything I missed."

"Quite the commitment you're willing to make..." she paused. "And your name is?"

He smiled a little wider. "Sebastian Sallow - and as a note - I am known for committing to something till the end. I don't easily give up."

She returned the smile. "Good to know."

"And to add onto that - I'd wait for you as long as the Earth spins until you are ready to accept me once again as who I once was."

She gave him a rather mocked look of suspicion. "You won't go changing on me, will you?"

He shook his head, hastily. "Never, this - what you see right here - this is what you're getting, nothing else."

She was crying along with him at this moment - but more in relief that she didn't have to carry the burden of her true feelings any long. And she knew - deep down - it would take time, step-by-step opening herself up to him as he would to her. But, she'll consider it yet another quest that she couldn't wait to finish, knowing it'll lead to the next part of their lives together. So, with a soft grin -

"How can I refuse?"

The end.

Should I make a part two - almost like an epilogue?

If you'd like to be part of my Sebastian Sallow taglist let me know!

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#sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow #sebastian x reader #sebastian sallow x reader #hogwarts legacy sebastian #hogwarts legacy #sebastian x mc #hogwarts legacy x reader #hogwarts legacy x mc #hogwarts legacy x you

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renewoos · 1 year

Text

Sweetly Devoted (jjk)

➸ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x gn!reader

➸ Genres: angst & tooth-rotting fluff

➸ Themes: love at first sight, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, slight meet cute, comfort

➸ WC: 11k+

➸ Warnings: descriptive mentions of health illnesses (mental & physical), anxiety, depression, detox & withdrawal, very brief mention of self-harm, family neglect

➸ Summary: All you wanted was to get healthier. You were so tired of these brutal health battles and constant doctor visits. You’ve been sick for a while not getting well enough help. Don’t worry, your guardian angel is about to send an angel in human-form straight to your life called Jeon Jungkook.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

This was the seventh doctor you had been to and each visit only led to more tears in the end. To say it was frustrating wouldn’t be enough. Tormenting, torturing; perhaps those were the words to closely describe the experiences. An autoimmune disease wasn’t just something you could wave off, especially when you had multiple other health problems. Suffering and feeling the world turn gray suddenly as the life in you started to fade away. You felt like you were losing yourself as each year passed. Depression was rising as high as a tsunami wave.

Four years is how long you’ve been sick and it’s been a ride bumpier than hitting all the potholes while driving. How you became ill? It wasn’t clear at all. You had just woken up one night, drenched in sweat from fear. A night terror was what they called it. The problem was, those night terrors came every single night since the first one until you stopped sleeping for two months. Getting only one to three hours of sleep until finally no sleep at all for the last two weeks. Due to the lack of sleep, your anxiety went off the charts. Shaking and trembling at the slightest of sounds, you stopped eating too. You were scared to death and of what? Not even you knew. You had fainted eventually and had woken up in a hospital room, almost dying of starvation and sleep deprivation but saved with an ambulance call from someone who found you.

The hospital doctor gave you a pill, not bothering to examine you properly. The trust you put in him was huge. You figured maybe you just lost your mind. It’s just anxiety and depression but oh, how wrong you’d be. You recovered for a moment, only to suddenly fall again. Your health had been a bumpy ride and the night terrors (which thankfully did end from the new pill you started) but since then on you were never the same again. The things you once loved, you didn’t anymore. Depression was to blame for that one. You lost bits and pieces of yourself. The bits and pieces scattered around, turning into blank pages and crumbling away. Who were you now? Certainly not that once bright being who could take on the world better. The person who had dreams higher than the clouds above.

Six doctors in a row deemed you crazy, god, how much did those words hurt you. Nobody wants to be called crazy especially not from medical professionals. You thought you’d get used to the word after so many times but you just couldn’t. You didn’t have that strength anymore. The sad part is, the medical professionals didn’t properly look at you. Something was wrong. Thanks to your seventh doctor, who caught it and is trying to pinpoint it now. She believes there is so much more to you. ‘It’s not all in your head. Those doctors are wrong, I will prove it.’ Hopeful for the first time but of course, you also didn’t wanna jinx it. For some reason, every time you mentioned something; it would turn out bad. As if a darkness cloud just followed you overhead constantly. After all, it took years to find someone who believed you and she won’t be the only one.

You did believe you were crazy as things just did not make sense overall, especially before this doctor came along. As time passed, you weren’t just mentally ill with anxiety and depression. You were physically sick and every vein in your body was burning from it. You felt horrid pains in your body, physically too. Your poor body is suffering and you don’t know how to help it. That’s when suddenly, the thought of ‘being crazy couldn’t be right’ hit you. Mustering up the small piece of strength you had to go on, you pushed for doctors until you found her.

The discovery of an autoimmune disease was found except for your case, it was special. ‘Of course it’s special,’ you once scoffed. ‘Nothing for me can be a simple answer.’ Doctors found you a mystery and experimented on you. In the last two years, you had gone through several medical tests. Every two weeks, for months you got to feel needles poking you. Constant checking and testing that drained you. The doctors still deeming you crazy just because the tests they ran didn’t make sense to them. You stood up and walked however, despite the difficult road ahead. You keep on going even if some days, you grab that razor blade and say it’s totally over. Something small in you, is not letting it be over. Something that makes you heal your self inflicted wounds and try to care for yourself. It was a fucked up cycle and you knew that.

The autoimmune disease you had was special because it kept changing from one version to another. The problem is, that’s completely contradicting. One version of the disease kills your energy, makes you ache. You become very sluggish to the point where even taking a shower is hard. Heart rate slows and your face gets puffy. The other version; you are restless, jumpy and anxious. The anxiety jumps and your heart is racing. Yet here you were, switching between the two versions of the disease every few weeks. No wonder you were a mess. In the end, it was decided that a virus was messing you up and from it, you got the lovely gift of a physical nodule in your throat.

Luckily that nodule hasn’t turned into cancer yet and you pray that it never does. Only bothers your throat from time to time and makes swallowing difficult a bit. Nobody wants to go through cancer and your heart has always gone out to people who do have it. You always thought that if it came to that, you wouldn’t be strong enough to handle the news. You figured, you’d completely break and give up.

You had a beloved guardian angel, your therapy dog who has passed away before you found out you were sick. You wore a golden locket around your neck daily in memory of her. An urn necklace with an angel wing attached to it. You believe she is protecting you somehow. Your guardian angel is the only thing you had to hang onto.

Recovering only to relapse again and again; spinning around like a tornado. New symptoms came that made things so difficult again. So here you were, with the seventh doctor. The only woman who believes something is still wrong. Your autoimmune disease was able to calm down, not being too harsh on you and not going through crazy spikes. However, your blood-tests had shown multiple other issues arrive yet again. The tears you held in so strongly burst the minute you got home. Stress levels were ascending up and you just locked yourself alone. Hating to cry in front of others so you just kept to yourself and let it out, in the comfort of your private bedroom.

A second autoimmune disease now found present in your gut this time. The first one being in your throat, a gland whose hormones can affect every organ. The doctor had a plan to detox your body as you found out you also had multiple food allergies causing leaky gut syndrome as well as developing anemia. All were contributing to making you ill. On top of it, the pill that you depended on for the night terrors and insomnia, causes the first autoimmune disease in your throat to worsen. The fear of letting go of the medical drug you depended on for these four years hurt you. How could doctors not tell you that the pill wasn’t supposed to be for years? That it could physically cause a damage. Nobody warned you. You weren’t sure if you could do all this anymore. You would need to start six supplements and you would have to tamper off your current medication by lowering the dosages every two weeks. The pill that saved you years ago in the hospital from night terrors now can be causing more illnesses. Bitterness against doctors is all you felt. Not for this seventh one but still after everything, it would be hard to trust her fully; even if she is different so far.

It was an overload of information and a month to do so much work. You just wondered why and how were you getting so ill. It couldn’t just be that pill. Would it ever end? You felt no comfort because almost everyone around you seemed to be tired of hearing you sick. Your home life wasn’t exactly the best. A father should protect not harm but that’s the life you got. Watching you struggle to move some days from pure exhaustion that the illnesses were causing yet nobody in your family seemed to really give a shit.

Nobody in general.

Except for one person; who didn’t consider you ‘too much’ and definitely cared.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

One day, you met him. Before your seventh doctor had discovered another autoimmune disease and advised you on a strict diet and detox, you made a friend. Jeon Jungkook was his name and you never thought someone like this could exist in the world. To say he is kind is an understatement. Jungkook’s affection went high and far, regardless of how close you were to him. Overall, he was a guy who everyone adored. Sometimes his friends would get annoyed at how close he can get with a stranger. Barely knowing someone and giving them a shoulder to cry on instantly. In your life, you had bullies and abusers mostly. Kindness from humans was slightly strange to you. The only kindness you ever felt purely was those from beloved pets. Being a big animal lover, their comfort and playfulness made you lit up; especially when it came to dogs. The memory of your first and last one always replaying in your mind. She was there for you since you were eleven years old and now you were twenty-seven, losing her at the age of twenty-five. Somehow when you looked at Jungkook, he reminded you of a cute puppy. It made you actually chuckle. You wondered if maybe your guardian angel sent Jeon Jungkook your way, to show you that there are good people in the world still.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Days before; how you and Jungkook met.

You were out running around for errands; the usual grocery shopping and paying bills. Just these tasks were enough to make you lose your energy of course. Being ill and doing what most people called ‘simple tasks,’ wasn’t so simple for you and others alike. Once you had finished paying the bills and buying the groceries, you walked out of the store feeling somewhat weak. As you were taking a long walk in the parking lot with your cart full of bags, the beaming sunlight did not help that weak and tired feeling.

“Why did I have to park so far…” Mumbling at yourself since you chose to park quite the distance due to the recent minor attacks on your car. You felt paranoid parking close as you would always find new scratches on it.

You were half way there until you managed to trip, which embarrassed you but the tired feeling came over making you sigh out and not care if anyone saw anymore. You knew they would ignore you.

However, you would be proven wrong as you noticed the sun wasn’t shining it’s beam directly on you anymore while you were still on the ground. Luckily the cart had not drifted away much and stayed in place since you didn’t shove it. You looked up, taking your eyes off the ground and were met with a man. A devastatingly, beautiful and handsome one at that. Nerves in your stomach formed a bit.

“Are you okay?!” He asked with a worried look as he knelt down to examine you.

Feeling your cheeks grow pink since you weren’t used to this kind of attention, especially not from a handsome guy. He looked to be around your age, maybe slightly older? Though looks could be decieving since you looked younger than your age. At least that’s what others have told you. The words wouldn’t come out of your mouth however only worrying him more.

He brought the back of his hand gently to your forehead, making you freeze. “Woah! You feel really hot!”

You mentally cursed yourself. ‘Damn it. Of course, one of my fevers had to happen now.’

Since the guy was so close and you still hadn’t uttered a word out loud, you took a look into his eyes and suddenly he ripped his hand off you. ‘Is he… flustered?’ You thought this because he suddenly looked very shy himself. It was cute.

“I’m sorry, I must have scared you...” He said, with a voice sounding so sweet. You could listen to it for hours.

“No, sorry. I’m just… out of it...” You finally spoke, making him pause for a moment. A look you couldn’t figure out was on his face as he heard you speak. He then nodded, “should I take you to a nearby immediate care?”

A man you didn’t even know was offering to take you to doctors and it all felt like a strange dream as you couldn’t believe what was happening. Nobody was this kind to you before. Suddenly a car blared it’s horns loudly and didn’t look like it was going to stop. Which is typically the type of stuff you expect in life.

“Oh shit!” The handsome man had cursed, pushing your cart further to the side and grabbing a firm but yet somehow soft hold of your wrist to pull you up. You were extremely light so he was able to do it with ease but also he was completely ripped. This man definitely works out so you were sure he could lift anyone up. You ended up with your head buried into his chest, ‘he smells really nice.’ His hand was still around your wrist. The car speeding past you both.

“What the hell is their problem?!” The man lightly yelled towards the speeding car, obviously appalled by it.

Touch-starved probably described you well as you felt like burning even more from just having your face in his chest. Fevers and charmingly sweet guys were a deadly combo. He was tall and you were a pretty short person. You fit well with him physically somehow, like a puzzle piece that was meant to be there. It felt totally snug and comforting. You quickly pulled away, stopping any more thoughts from surfacing. Your heart was already speeding up and you thought it had to be from never being close with someone like this, ever. There was no way you were actually feeling something for a stranger but was that really the truth? Time would tell.

Your eyes connected as he looked down at you when you pulled apart from him, his wrist leaving your hand. Deep down inside of you, you wish you didn’t just pull away so quickly.

His cheeks were starting to tint pink along with his ears. In this quick moment, you inspected him; dark long ish hair that had a part which complimented his face so well. He had a lot of ear piercings which you admired and even wore a gorgeous bracelet. You noticed he had a lip ring as well which only made him hotter. He had beautiful light cherry colored lips & these wonderful doe-like eyes you could feel yourself get lost in. His skin was incredibly flawless on top of it. He dressed very elegantly almost as if he was a pirate king or something. He had black leather pants on with a white, slightly see-through top and with that you noticed that there seemed to be tattoos on his arm. His hand was visible to show that he had tattoos on there as well. This man had to be extremely popular. He was the actual definition of a ‘Greek God’ to you. Humans never made you feel safe before but him? He definitely gave you a safe feeling to add to the list of pros. Something about his aura felt comforting. He might have looked badass but that face screamed sweet.

“I’m sorry, I keep being touchy-” he started, getting back that flustered look. You wondered how on earth he could be shy in this moment.

You had a very small smile creep on your face, “stop please.” He blinked, mouth slightly open. You were an adult and illnesses or not, you brought that confidence out and got serious. Little ounce of courage mustered up.

“You don’t have to keep saying sorry.” You said as he paid attention to you. “You just pretty much saved my life from that car.”

“It was no problem, anyone would have done the same.” Bashfully, his words came out. He had both confidence and shyness. He showed an out-going side but also got shy, completely fascinating you.

“Not really,” your small smile started looking like a sad one and that made his heart hurt a bit. He continued staring at you as you continued, “people aren’t usually nice to me and not only that, you offered to take me to immediate care. Thank you, really. I appreciate it more than I let on.”

He smiled at you, not wanting to pry about why you said ‘not really.’ He knew you must have had stories to tell, painful ones. “Well a nice and pretty person like you shouldn’t be hurting on the ground, with a fever at that.” That confidence and even perhaps flirty-ness it seems came out of him. The nerves in your tummy reappearing now and your heart picking up it’s pace. “Seriously, are you okay?” He asked.

For some reason, those words started to make you tear up a bit. You’re not the type to show people your tears but hearing someone sound so sincere and asking you that just hit like a ton of bricks.

The guy noticed and panicked, “oh no!” He got closer to you and lightly grabbed your hands to hold, “I’m sorry! Did I say something stupid?”

‘Oh man, how can he be this charming… and the cliche is so real. This only happens in movies and books, doesn’t it?’

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

That was only mere days ago and from that moment, he stayed with you. Doing his best to help you in what ever way he could and you found yourself spilling your whole life story to him. You never do this with people but somewhere in your gut, you just knew you could trust him. The words fell out of your mouth so easily that you even got mad at yourself for how open you became with him. He went above and beyond to show that you could trust him, just within these few days.Usually that’s extremely foolish but it felt like you two always knew each other. What you didn’t know at first was how much his heart ached hearing about your life, the abuse and now the suffering of illnesses. He didn’t want to show you his worry but he was so worried. Every night so far, he’d come home and tell his friends about you since he lived with them. He would pray that you wouldn’t get cancer ever and that with each doctor visit, something good would finally come out rather than bad news. Through his own body, he had no idea how terrible you could feel as he was healthy and so fit but he mentally felt parts of your pain.

It sounded beyond impossible and weird that two strangers could just become best friends basically in a matter of a few hours. It happened though, as bizarre as it might be. You learned his name, Jeon Jungkook. He was a little bit younger than you which shocked you due to him looking so manly and strong, but he was four years younger; being twenty-three. Jungkook was definitely playful and a bit teasing; he did it whenever he wanted to cheer you up but he also knew when to be serious. He knew when to pull back and listen to you carefully. When you had medical flare ups; although you would try to hide it from him, not wanting to bother him; he’d just insist on you letting him know. Showering you in affection and comfort was just what Jungkook did. That came in hugs and even cute pecks from his soft, plump lips on your forehead, hands, etc. You learned a lot about how he is and how kind he is to anyone. He would willingly lend a hand to anyone in need. So not only did he look amazing, his personality was one of a kind.

It did secretly make you a little bit jealous though you weren’t sure why. Jungkook is just as affectionate as a loyal puppy that won’t leave your side. His devotion was astounding. So friendly to everybody but a small pang of something not so great would wash over you. You felt stupid feeling at this slight jealousy because you knew the world needed more people like him.

What you also didn’t know was that Jungkook was extra sweet to you and only you, he just did a good job of hiding it. Sure, he could give his friends hugs, light pecks when they cry and even comfort a stranger with a small hug or hand holding but with you? He did it much more. Never having met his friends yet though, as you haven’t known each other long; so you didn’t know that little piece of information. He just knew he had an even more overwhelming urge to comfort you of all people. It wasn’t pity either.

One night you would play gently with your urn necklace, holding it tightly and thanked her. ‘I think, my little angel… that you brought us together. I think you guided him to me. He’s the best friend I never thought I could find, after you of course.’

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Present Day

Today was the day you found out more health news and shattered, closing yourself off. Locked up in your bedroom, crying your heart out. The good news is, if this doctor is correct, it should start putting you on the path of recovering. If she is wrong, it’ll hurt you more and you don’t think you could handle another blow. You thought you should be happy although a brutal and strict plan had to be followed but instead, you felt sadness that you had to go and develop another illness plus extra problems. It was exhausting.

Your phone was pinging madly and you knew, only one person could be spamming you right now. You knew Jungkook was waiting at home to hear back from you.

You stopped your crying to go grab your phone but a coughing fit had started. The coughing fits come and go, either from the nodule in your throat sometimes hurting or from the horrid acid reflux you got often; which started damaging your vocal chords just a bit. Your coughing fits could last anywhere between five minutes to forty minutes. Seemed like many minutes would be the one today. You groaned in between a cough.

Several minutes had passed and that’s when your phone started ringing. Obviously Jungkook now was worrying and trying to get a hold of you since you didn’t reply to his texts yet. You tried your best to stifle some coughs and answer the phone.

“H-hello,” you answered with a scratchy throat. A small cough escaping from your mouth. Jungkook on the other end, already frowning at the sound.

“(y/n), is it a coughing fit?” He asked, already knowing you so well within a few weeks and learning your uncontrollable habits.

“Yes…” you barely let out and kept trying to hold it in.

A sigh escaped Jungkook’s lips. His tone was gentle “don’t worry (y/n), don’t hold them in. Let them out. I’ll stay on the line and wait so you’re not alone.”

Your heart melted a bit at that but you still covered the phone as best as you physically could as you let out coughs. Jungkook hated hearing you suffer. He wouldn’t admit it but he was a sensitive person. He heard it muffled through the phone. He hated feeling like there was nothing he could do himself. If he had cures, the universe knows he would do anything to cure you himself. Even if he only knew you for a few weeks. Time meant nothing to him when he felt a connection to you from the moment he saw you. What that connection meant, he did not know although he was slightly sure but didn’t want to admit it. All he knew was that he had to befriend you somehow and be here for you afterwards. Of course, he also had to help you that day you met since he saw you collapse in a parking lot. No normal person can ignore that. Sincerely, he did want to befriend you. Not just because you were ill and needed someone, he really thought you were a special person in general especially when you first looked into his eyes and when you first spoke.

When the coughing fit was fully over, you were able to speak with him though your voice sounding raspy now because it always did after a fit. It would return to normal after an hour or so.

“Hey Jungkookie,” you said making him chuckle at bit.

“You okay, dear?” he was pacing around his bedroom as he spoke to you. His friends walking past his room to check in on him since he told them you would get medical news today. His friends knew he was scared of what that news would be. While you on the other end had to stop yourself from melting slightly when you heard the word ‘dear.’ It just sounded so nice coming from him.

“Why do you make me feel like the younger friend sometimes?” you replied, going to lay with your back on the bed. It was true. Jungkook had quite the mature aura during times like these.

“You’re mature and pretty wise but sometimes I just wanna be here for you. It’s okay to have moments of feeling younger. I’m here for you in the moments you feel weak, ok?” He read you well because that is exactly how you felt, weak and he knew you hated it but always assured you that it was okay. “I know I can be immature and perhaps a prankster even but…” he paused for a moment and you continued hanging onto his every word, “I am a man… I can be a strong one and you can lean on me when you need to…”

Both hearts skipped a beat at that. Jungkook started thinking if those were the right words and through the phone you could feel that shyness of his about to consume him so you spoke up quickly, “thank you… you’re the best.”

He was happy to hear that but still, the heat creeping up on his skin didn’t stop the blush from spreading across his face.

“About today Jungkook-” You started as you wanted to tell him what the news was.

“Wait!” He half yelled and you paused. “Can we meet up please? I wanna hear in person.” It felt like the right thing to him and although you didn’t want him knowing you were crying, you couldn’t say no to him at all.

“S-sure…” you stuttered while smacking your forehead with your free hand for stuttering.

“Great! Where do you wanna meet?” He had stopped pacing around his room, feeling grateful you two would meet up now. The happiness in his voice showing. You actually didn’t live far from one another, only fifteen minutes away.

“How about the park nearby? It usually doesn’t have many people around.” You said.

“Sounds good dear, I will see you there soon!” He replied and you said your ‘see ya soon hun’ and hung up.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Jungkook was already a few minutes early to the park; he picked an open spot so you could easily find him as you walked through the gates. This park was different from others, in that it was very quiet with few people around. Those few people coming here to mostly meditate since there were many beautiful ponds and gardens around.

You strolled in spotting Jungkook sitting on a bench in the middle. He was already facing you so once he saw you, he started running towards you. You did your best to dry your face before arriving but your eyes were red. You hoped he wouldn’t notice it, hiding behind your glasses somehow.

You couldn’t help but smile when you saw him rush towards you. Something finally cheering you up today. You started walking towards him since running was a bit difficult for you to do right now but he caught up to you quickly so you didn’t even have to walk much.

Instantly, he wrapped his arms around you for a tight but comforting hug. You should have expected it but still weren’t fully able to get used to it. You’re just pretty shocked at how adorable he is despite always seeing him be this way. Receiving affection from Jungkook was common but hard to wrap your head around after being a loner for so long. You would freeze up at first but slowly give in to that comforting and safe-like feeling, lightly hugging him back. When you started doing that (because the first few times you would just stand there), Jungkook always ended up getting that shy feeling. He loved when you would hug him back and show you’re comfortable with him. He would always joke and tell you, ‘oh c’mon, you can give me a stronger hug than that!’ or ‘afraid you’re gonna break me?’ Which flustered you but made you giggle.

Today he didn’t do that; you two just stayed hugging for a bit. Both secretly enjoying it without letting it on. When you both finally broke apart, he took a look at your face and frowned. You knew that he realized you were crying but you knew he also wouldn’t bring it up when you gave him a look that read, ‘don’t wanna talk about it yet…’ Since he would still have to mention it at some point because he wanted you to always know that he was here for you.

He took the cue and grabbed your hand, holding it while guiding you to an empty spot in the park; away from the people meditating. A more secluded area where trees could hide you both a bit. His hand was so warm while yours was so cold.

“Jungkook, don’t let my cold hands ruin your warmth.” You’d try to pull away but he wouldn’t let you. Not looking back at you as you walked a step behind him. He still led you before you reached the exact spot.

“Nonsense, I wanna warm you up. I got enough warmth for the both of us.” He would casually reply and this made your heart beat faster. You only hummed in reply.

It was safe to assume, you probably liked your new best friend a tiny bit more than you thought you should have. You were willing to keep that buried inside you though, hoping this feeling would go away in the future when time starts to pass. It wouldn’t surprise you if he had many people having some kind of a crush towards him. He just makes it way too easy to like him. You had no confidence of him ever having a crush on you back because you knew he was just a natural sweetheart. Plus you thought he was way out of your league.

You made it to the spot and he still didn’t let go of your hand. You both sat down under a pretty and small myrtle tree, blooming pink flowers. His face got serious as he looked at you, still holding your hand. You knew he wanted to know the news now. You took a deep breath, making sure tears won’t start sliding out.

“It’s not good,” you bluntly said and he started frowning a bit but waiting for you to go on. You reminded him a little bit of one of his friends, called Min Yoongi. His friend was blunt so he was okay with you not sugar-coating words. “She found another…” you felt a bit shaky but held strong and his grip on your hand tightened. “I have two autoimmune diseases now and this one harms the gut. But we all know most health comes from your gut and all my stomach issues make sense now.”

He was disappointed and it showed on his face, “why…” he stopped looking directly at your eyes and more towards the ground.

You didn’t know what he meant when he said ‘why.’ “Um-” you started but he cut you off.

“Why is this happening to you? Two autoimmune diseases…?” His voice sounded slightly irritated which you never heard that tone before. “I didn’t even know someone could have more than one… I… what the hell.” Jungkook wasn’t sure what to think anymore at all. All he wanted was for you to finally be happy and he knew, being healthy was your only wish in life. His hand never left yours.

“I hate seeing you suffer and struggle.” Continuing because now you were too shocked to stop his rant. “And I can’t do anything about it which pisses me off honestly,” he didn’t hold back being blunt either and his voice almost cracked.

You decided to step in, “Jungkookie… there is some good news too. I’ll get to it.” It was true because your doctor gave you an extremely difficult set of tasks to focus on but if she was on the right path, it could help you and possibly finally put you in recovery. Nothing good comes easy after all. Trust issues arose in you but you decided to fight that for the sake of cheering up Jungkook.

His eyes looked so sad but he stopped to take a look at your eyes and listen clearly. Hope building up a little bit in him now. “Yeah?”

You nodded, “I’ve been sort of poisoning my body it seems.” At this, his eyebrows furrowed and he started getting a worried look so you quickly went on.

“I’m allergic to a huge list of things… that I didn’t know and kept on eating for god knows how long now. They are healthy foods since I already had a slight strict diet but all contain something I am allergic to. So it’s harming me especially because she said I had something called leaky gut.” You explained and he had no words. He just nodded as a cue for you to continue because you realized he probably doesn’t know what leaky gut is and you don’t really understand much of it either but a small gist.

“So leaky gut… basically we have this wall like a brick wall at our gut. Blocking anything from entering your b-bloodstrea…” you felt shaky and Jungkook took notice. You mentally hated yourself so much from constantly being scared of this stuff. He brought the back of your hand to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on it. You felt butterflies but thanks to this, tears didn’t spill out of you. Instead you got slightly embarrassed. Jungkook wasn’t sure of how else to comfort you so this came naturally to him.

“You don’t have to go on if you can’t, (y/n).” His words were soft and you felt his breath against your hand that he still held close to his lips. You squeezed his hand in response, “n-no, I can finish. Thank you…” you mumbled and his heart fluttered at seeing you blush a bit.

“Okay (y/n), I’m here. Say whatever you can, don’t force it out if it gets too hard.” He shyly said and you gave him a smile. He felt his cheeks get warm so he cleared his throat and looked away for a moment, making you confused.

“Jung-” You started but he replied, “I’m good. Go on.” He put your hand down his to lap again as you sat closely and across each other. Still not letting it go. His eyes met yours again with confidence now.

“Okay…” you mentally toughened up to get back to your explanation, “so this wall protects stuff from entering your bloodstream and for me, my wall is broken. So foods or medications, anything I intake is entering my bloodstream. I also have a huge line of inflammation happening which is causing issues.” Jungkook now understood what was happening since he learned about your first autoimmune disease, he knew there was a similarity.

He spoke, “so things that shouldn’t go into your bloodstream have gone there which triggers your body’s defence.” You nodded and he continued, “To defend your body, it’s gonna go haywire attacking what’s ‘foreign’ which is the foods and stuff. It wants to protect you but it goes overboard and attacks you as well. Just like the autoimmune disease in your throat…” he felt sad now.

“Yes, you got it. She also explained it that way.” You said, “a virus attacked my throat gland and my body attacked the virus but also got confused and started attacking itself. Now my gut, is doing that. She believes another autoimmune disease is present since that’s what they do.”

He let out a sigh, “I am so sorry, (y/n).” You blinked in confusion.

“Why Jungkookie? It’s not your fault.” You took your hand out of his hold and patted his hair gently, “it’s okay.”

“How is it okay? The worst part that I realize now, unlike regular food… you’re putting ones you’re allergic to, into your body… that’s why you’ve been sick a lot and stuck in bathrooms. I get it now, the ‘poisoning’ you’re doing without you even knowing so it’s not your fault. None of this is ever your fault, it’s not the fault of the person who becomes ill. That sounds… scary though.” His emotions were starting to creep out, “and not any other single doctor tried to do something as simple as a food allergy test? How can they be this disappointing and stupid?!” He was a bit angry for sure and the fingers you used to run through his hair, took a hold at the back to bring his head into your chest. Your free one arm, holding the back of his shoulder as best as you can. Even if you tried holding tightly, your grips were always soft. He stopped feeling angry as he heard your heart beat. You never did a bold move yourself. He was shocked for a second but slowly leaned into you. You prayed your heart rate wouldn’t start increasing. His hands wrapped around your waist. “I’m sorry, you are feeling way worse than me… I’ll calm down.” You chuckled, “you are unbelievable Jeon Jungkook,” Jungkook got worried hearing that from but you went on, “it’s okay. If it were you in my shoes, I’d feel helpless too. I understand it.”

He sighed in relief, “but still (y/n), I can’t imagine how your body feels…”

“It’s hard but thank you for being here and doing your best to understand it all. You are so kind. It does cheer me up Jungkook, I’m sorry I don’t show it often.” You admitted and his hold on you got slightly stronger. You decided to rest your chin on top of his head, thankful he couldn’t see your face right now as you were a blushing mess.

“(y/n), I know we barely know each other but it feels like you’ve been my…” he stopped himself before confessing a secret he held in, “…best friend for years. I have my best friends but you too now. I’m gonna get you to meet them, I promise you’ll love them. You’re part of my life now and you’re staying, got it?”

A small tear rolled down your cheek as you felt pure joy from his kind words, “thank you. I’m staying, don’t worry. You’re my…” you also almost let a secret out, “best friend too.”

A comfortable silence came around you two as you both just held each other and listened to the sounds of nature. There were sounds of a pond flowing nearby and sweet little birds chirping. The winds would blow ever so slightly, making pink flowers dance around you and Jungkook a few times. Both of you, nevertheless, with racing hearts and blushing cheeks, small smiles painted on your faces. Both of you feeling a bit sad internally for saying the words ‘best friend’ but thinking it’s right. Two oblivious idiots not wanting to ruin a new friendship, especially at a time like this. You felt ashamed of being ill sometimes; honestly you felt gross and wondered how Jungkook wouldn’t be grossed out at you. That always confused you because Jungkook complimented you even on your worst days. Due to your feelings of it, you never once wanted to think of the word, ‘romance.’

While Jungkook was worried that it’d be weird and didn’t want to scare you off, plus the time felt wrong because you were suffering; he thought you really just wanted a best friend only so he hoped his feelings could go away soon.

For him, it was probably love on the day he met you. The day he helped you. He knew because… as cheesy and stupid as it may sound, he heard bells & whistles. You had a fever but did your best and just the way you spoke and tried to carry yourself after the car thing happened, captured his heart on the spot. He knew you didn’t think you were beautiful and he thought how blind you were. When he first heard your voice, he thought you sounded like an angel. The way you treated him once he did take you to immediate care that day, he’d never forget. While on the outside you might appear cold or distant, he knew you were filled with kindness and innocence even. Never once did he believe those people who fell in love at first sight but now? Feeling so foolish for letting it basically happen to him.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

After the comfortable silence, you continued your story of the doctor’s visit. With Jungkook paying lots of attention and trying to understand. He knew a difficult journey was about to begin for you. The detox process, even said by the doctor, would be extremely hard. You had only a very limited option of foods to eat which wouldn’t help you keep a steady weight. You had to tamper off a medication so that could cause anxiety and panic attacks to burst out again. Starting multiple supplements such as iron which you were scared of. You knew iron would be heavy on your stomach and you hated that feeling, it scared you beyond to feel more ill. You definitely had a horrid phobia of being ill. What person wouldn’t though? When you were younger, you never pictured getting real illnesses. Even then, you had that phobia but your phobia came to life. You couldn’t imagine the people that had it worse and were even more ill. They were beyond strong to you. Any person who was suffering, whether small or big, you considered strong no matter what.

You had to be extremely careful and the doctor gave you only a month or two. Blood-tests would get repeated to see if this process is working. Jungkook knew this was a gamble because if the doctor is wrong, you would feel more ill but he did his best to shower you with positive words and actions. He knew what was going to come this month; your moods would go up and down, your panic attacks could restart from withdrawal, it’s gonna be a major adjustment eating only a few foods and ones you weren’t very fond of. He personally felt that this doctor was rushing too much onto you. He felt this should take a longer time and that you should get more time. He knew nothing would be your fault and that you’re gonna try your best thanks to his encouragement. He knows sometimes you wanna give up although you try to hide. If that happens, he will rush to pull you up.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

As three weeks passed and the detox process almost a month in, you instantly felt the hit of it on day two. You felt extremely light now-a-days, wondering if you only weighed 1 pound because that’s how it truly felt. It was still taking time to get used to the foods and these foods such as soup for lunch now and some oatmeal for breakfast, weren’t giving you the energy you needed like the foods you were allergic to gave. You will admit though, stomach problems were decreasing which was a positive.

The lowering dose of the pill brought back anxiety attacks indeed. You weren’t sure if this would last but crying spells were becoming common. Some days, there was just nothing to cry about yet you cried out of nowhere. You also weren’t sure if this came from you being afraid of losing the pill because that was possible. The human brain is a powerful tool that can trick you sadly.

During these three weeks, Jungkook did not leave you alone unless on some days you truly couldn’t get out of bed at all. You had gone on a small break from work so luckily you had money saved for this.

You lived with your family who weren’t caring or understanding of this. Although you were a young adult, you couldn’t live alone thanks to your conditions but your family neglected you unless you fainted. Then they would help for a moment but nothing else. Jungkook saw this, being at your home a few times and decided to take matters into his own hands. He convinced his friends to let you move in with them. Granted you were to live with seven men including Jungkook but his friends were good people. He knew they would never do anything to you and knew they would be of help. Plus you needed this and they lived in a big house with a guest room perfect for you.

The doctor warned you, this isn’t a journey you should go through alone nor on your own at all. She even told you to be around caring people.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

An overwhelming amount of guilt was consuming you though. When Jungkook brought two of his friends Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin to help you move out of your house and into theirs, you started a small argument with him. You were beyond shocked that he would offer his home to you and even came with two of his friends against your wishes not to. He told his friends to go grab your things because they were strong while he took you aside to speak with you. He saw you were emotional and didn’t let his friends greet you yet.

“What are you doing!?” You yelled in a raspy voice and the yell wasn’t even very strong as you truly were depleted of power.

He held your shoulders down as you saw his friends moving some of your things out of the house and into a moving truck. Jungkook gave them the layout of your house so they could know how to navigate.

“(y/n), you have to get out of that house. It’s not going to help you at all. You’re feeling very ill and uncomfortable from the detox which is normal but you cannot stay here anymore with these people.” He said firmly and calmly, still holding your shoulders and you looked at him, all red in the face and teary. He knew this was your family but man, did they frustrate him to no ends.

“Why ar…” you choked up when more tears spilled. Jungkook just hugged you. “W-wh” hic, “why…”

“Shhh, it’s okay.” He said.

Your hands were at the front of his chest and you grabbed a fistful of his shirt, your crying slowing down a lot, “Jungkook, you’re gonna ruin your life for mine you idiot.”

He separated you from him so he could look at you, with confusion written all over his face. Your hands letting go of his shirt. “What on earth are you talking about?” He asked with a frown.

You didn’t take your eyes off of his, calming down the crying and just letting tears silently roll all over your face. “You deserve to be out having fun. You’re younger than me and yet you’re here always caring for me.” Jungkook stopped frowning and felt touched as you went on. “I don’t want you to sacrifice anything for me!”

“(y/n), are you-” He said but you stopped him.

“Please stop this Jungkook!” You were slightly angry, “stop doing so much for me!” you half shouted, feeling a bit dizzy. He didn’t speak yet as he knew, more words would pour of you.

“Y-you’re being… so stupid Jungkook! You barely know me!” These words had hurt him now and the look of hurt flashed on his face, making you feel worse. Your heart was pounding in your chest hard.

“Do you really care about time that much…? Does that really matter, how long I’ve known you?” He asked, looking away from you. You bit your lip.

“No… but-” You mumbled.

“But what (y/n),” his eyes focused on you again but you were silent. “Maybe I am just stupid in your eyes…”

A small gasp came out of you as you saw him smile so sadly, “no! That’s not what I think!” You definitely didn’t know how you were standing now as it felt like the world shook from beneath you.

“Then why am I being stupid?” He asked, “do you secretly hate… that I do this?” he looked down at his feet, biting his lip.

“I…” you started but felt sick and then your world turned black. You had fainted and Jungkook caught you in his arms. His friends came over. He didn’t think you would faint now but he should have realized with how frail you looked. Mentally slapping himself for it.

“Are they gonna be okay?” Namjoon asked with a concern look at you. None of his friends actually met you yet but Jungkook told them a lot so they felt like they sort of knew you already.

“They faint a lot sadly, but they will be okay. We have to get them home, ice packs help them a lot.” Jungkook said as he carried you and started walking towards the truck, “are you guys done?” He asked Namjoon and saw Jin coming.

“Yeah, we got it all now.” Namjoon replied, following him. While Jin caught up, putting the last item in the truck. He saw Jungkook gently placing the soon-to-be new house member in the front passenger seat of the car.

“Is this a good idea?” Jin asked out allowed and Jungkook looked at him, “yes. They can’t stay here.”

Namjoon chimed in, “Yeah man… you heard the stories… they need our help.”

“But they didn’t seem too happy…” Jin admitted and Jungkook sighed, “trust me. We’ll talk it out. They’re not well but I trust they will understand and accept the help.” He took a look at you, softly petting your hair. “They’re stubborn and going through a lot but this is the right thing to do.”

Namjoon replied to that, “it’s true. The family didn’t even bother to care about what we were doing… it’s sad actually. Never knew people could be so ignorant… and to their own family.” Jin nodded to that and got into the truck to start driving away from the scene with Jungkook and Namjoon sitting in the back seats since luckily the truck had them.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

You woke up in a room that was unknown to you and felt your eyes blinking into focus. The window showed it was night time but a lamp was lit up in your room. The whole house was quiet. You felt a bit chilly as you realized an ice pack was under your neck as you were laying and a cool washcloth was on your forehead. You slowly got up to sit up straight, putting the ice pack and washcloth aside. You jolted when you looked down and saw Jungkook sitting on the floor, holding your one hand and his head buried into the sheets of the bed, sleeping. You realized this was probably his home that he shared with his friends. You noticed all your stuff was unpacked and everything was set up. You saw a clock on the wall that read 2:00am.

Taking another look at Jungkook, you sighed and lightly moved your hand out of his which ended up waking him.

“(y/n)…?” he asked in a sleepy-like voice, not being loud.

“Yeah, I’m awake…” you whispered, “please go sleep now. I’m feeling better.” More guilt is what you had felt at all this; him and his friends probably setting up your room and him staying here until he passed out. You felt so bad.

Jungkook took a look at your face while you weren’t looking. He was fully waking up and sighed, knowing something was bothering you.

“I know…” he started and you looked at him, “you probably don’t like this, I assume. I promise you, my friends will be nice to you. They know you are dealing with being sick. We like to joke around a lot but we will take it easy. I know you won’t be used to having seven guys around you at first but they’re really like family. They are good guys.”

The frown on your face growing as you felt super grateful but still the guilt was what was eating you alive right now. As if your anxiety picked up on it, you felt a spell of crying coming. You hated being so ‘difficult,’ you thought. Slowly, tears were pouring out. Jungkook had you move slightly as he came to sit on your bed and be closer to you.

“Please (y/n), tell me what else I can do?” Jungkook pleaded as he started wiping the tears off your face.

“Oh Jungkook, y-you…” hic, “are doing so m-much for me” hic, “already.” You blurted out.

A light bulb went off in his head at your sentence, “(y/n)… do you by any chance… feel guilty?” You nodded and cried. He pulled you into a hug.

“No, no shhh” he said so soothingly, “please don’t cry. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about at all.” He tried his best at soothing you down and vanishing your anxiety that came. You realized how much you depended on him. He was the same as your guardian angel. She was the only one who could calm you down and now Jungkook, had that same ability. His protective but affectionately warm embrace, the way he was wiping your tears off before. No other human being gave that secure feeling but you didn’t want to depend on it because it felt wrong to do so. You wanted to be stronger. You didn’t want Jungkook to miss out on life by helping you always.

When the crying stopped and you got a bit tired, he put a space between you two. The hug ending since it lasted for a few minutes but he was still close to you. His hands now on your shoulders.

“Do you feel guilty, (y/n)?” He sincerely asked, still keeping his voice down as his friends were sound asleep in other rooms and you followed in keeping a low volume.

You couldn’t look at his eyes, hesitating but the words came out, “…I do.”

“(y/n), look at me please…” He asked and you did as told, eyes red and puffy from tears. “You have nothing to feel guilty for. You did nothing wrong. My friends and I want to help you, it is no burden at all. They can adjust to things easily plus your battle won’t be forever. (y/n), you will get better. Okay?” His words were too kind for your own good.

“I just don’t want you missing out on having a normal life. You or your friends that I don’t even know yet. It’s gonna be annoying… I’ll have medical flare ups and the adjusting is so slow… I don’t think this will only take two months. That’s too fast,” the guilty words poured out as your eyes looked away again. “I’m the older one yet I’m like a baby basically right now… you’re always spending so much time with me… how can I not feel bad? You’re too nice!” The truth finally and fully came out.

Jungkook cupped your cheeks with his hands and made you look into his eyes, you blushed at the contact.

“You think I would do this for anyone?” He asked you and you had an instant answer, “of course… you always wanna help someone. But I’m just such a difficult case… this is serious and deep-”

“No (y/n),” he stopped you. “it’s true. I wanna help people sometimes especially when it comes to comforting them even if it’s just a little bit of affection to cheer them up. But I wouldn’t go all out like this for just anybody except my best friends of course.”

Confusion was all you felt because you truly believed Jungkook would be extremely devoted to anyone, even if they weren’t friends. Jungkook constantly reminded you of that loyal puppy that you could get mad at but he would still love you with so much stupid love that he’d never leave. Since you weren’t speaking he decided to speak again.

“(y/n), when you said earlier… that I barely know you… does it bother you?” He was slightly worried now at your silence. “Please, tell me what you’re thinking. Don’t be afraid.”

You inhaled a sharp breath slowly letting it out after a few seconds, “no… it doesn’t actually bother me… I’m sorry, I was being pissy earlier but I just think… you’re still too kind for your own good. I don’t want it getting you into trouble or annoying situations. You’re nice to everyone… it can backfire.”

“(y/n), I told you. I would not go this far for just anybody. So get that worry out of your head that you are bothering me. I have time that I spend with my friends and go out a little, we aren’t glued to the hip even if I spend a lot of days with you.”

‘But-” you started and he put a finger on your lips to stop you. His finger on your lips felt so warm.

“No buts. If I have to keep reassuring you because of the anxiety then I will, every single day. It does not bother me at all, my friends will not get bothered either. They understand hardships better than others.” He took his finger off your lips, letting the hand of it gently fall on your shoulder. “I know you’re extremely polite to people you don’t know well and you are very strong in front of others. You do your best to hide your pain from the public. I know that just me and your family members have seen your worst moments but unlike them, it won’t bug me. Yeah, I might get worried sometimes if I don’t catch onto things super quickly but in the end, I will realize.” It truly amazed you how sincere and mature he can get. Despite having a very silly side where he can even bully his friends a bit, not in a mean way but just to tease them; he knew when someone needed him and did his absolute best. It only made your feelings for him grow stronger and frighten you deep down.

“What about your friends… and-” Again, he didn’t want the worries to start up so he had to break your sentence.

“If those sides slowly come out to my friends, they will be understanding. I promise you. My friends have struggled with anxiety before.” You nodded and a took a leap of trust. “And no, I am not sacrificing my ‘fun’ or whatever you think.”

He took a pause, a hand still cupping your cheek because he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold in his feelings anymore. He just hoped it wouldn’t turn everything to shit.

“I want to do this, for you (y/n). Do you understand?” he felt a bit shy, “I’m not doing it cause I feel the need to help you or pity you, I just simply want… to do everything I can for you. Only you… not everybody in the world. Be it hard stuff or easy stuff, sad or happy. I… just want… to be with you. Do you get it now…?”

Oblivious was too weak of a word to describe you, your awareness level was so bad but his words got your heart jumping, more than ever. You didn’t know why but the way he cupped your cheek, stared at you with this charming eyes and the words he spilled; it just made your heart wanna explode.

“You really…” you started and you could see him suddenly hold in a breath, “love helping others don’t you?”

At that, he let out a shaky breath and laughed. He actually let out a quick laugh and shook his head.

“You’re really… way too cute and innocent.” He said after his laugh. Suddenly he got serious and leaned in to press a kiss on your forehead. A long kiss at that which made you secretly swoon a bit.

“J-Jungkook?” You asked and he pulled his lips away from your forehead. Instead he leaned his forehead onto yours now, with his eyes closed. You were certain your whole face was red now.

“You’re gonna make me say it, won’t you dummy?” You felt his warm breath slightly touch your face.

“I… say what?” You were so curious now and wondered if he could hear how rapidly your heart was going.

He opened his eyes in that moment, “(y/n), this timing is beyond wrong and I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship. I hate that I can’t keep it to myself anymore. I don’t expect anything back so please don’t freak out when I confess this…”

Suddenly his words weighed in heavy on you, like a train coming to an abrupt halt on the tracks. You had no confidence but you couldn’t help but think, ‘confess…? does he… oh my god… he can’t,’ your mind still going but Jungkook stopped it.

Still staring into your eyes and his heart now rapidly picking up the pace too, “I’m in love with you, (y/n).” You let out quite the large gasp and his confession didn’t stop. “I know that sounds so weird and god, this is by far the worst timing in the history of timings but I felt something since day one. I could not stay away from you even if I wanted to… I know it hasn’t been long at all but I feel… so many feelings for you, it’s starting to drive me nuts. It’s like I’ve known you my whole life.” His eyes closed now and you felt he was getting a bit shaky, definitely from nerves and possible guilt. Your heart soared however and you had to let him know what you’ve been hiding.

“Jungkookie, open your eyes please.” You whispered and he let one eye open.

“I’m sorry for this (y/n),” he started pulling his head away from yours as both eyes were now open, expecting rejection but bracing himself for it. He did not want to burden you at your weakest moment. You grabbed his head though, cupping his cheeks now. His eyes widened.

“You idiot…” you uttered and when he went to say, “wha-” you had kissed him completely making his brain fry for a moment until he closed his eyes slowly and kissed you back. It was a soft and sweet gentle kiss but you felt him smiling against your lips which made you smile back. When he pulled away from the kiss first, his face slightly red; you spoke.

“I’m in love with you too…” you admitted and the happiness he felt couldn’t be explained. He pulled you into his usual hug and started planting kisses on the top of your head.

“I can’t believe it…” he barely whispered but you caught it. Somehow the kiss and confession managed to pull you out of any anxiety you felt today. It was strange and new but a good feeling. A surprise you never expected to happen; maybe the universe wanted to hand you something special. You were already thankful for Jungkook coming into your life, so grateful that you wanted to repay him after you got better, if the treatments worked. Now you realized how much you were not a burden to him at all, letting the guilt that was eating you, wash away like it never existed. You definitely understood it now. You understood that you were different, that Jungkook considered you his special someone. It was beyond cliche and never did you think a ‘love at first sight’ type of story was gonna happen to you. Some people argue that time matters but sometimes, you can meet someone and just instantly connect with them. More than people you know for years even; it is real and it can happen. Just like it did for you and him. You thought of your gold urn necklace you wore and smiled, ‘thank you for sending him to me. I know you did.’ You didn’t see it but your urn necklace started glowing ever so lightly, almost as if your guardian angel was trying to say, ‘I only guided his path slightly towards yours. It was meant to be but you’re welcome. Please keep that happiness, for me.’

He stopped planting kisses on the top of your head and rested his chin on it now, slowly rubbing your back in small circles with one hand. “I don’t want to rush you into anything at all. We are going to focus on you getting better first. Everything else, will slowly come later okay?”

You told him, “that is completely okay with me and Jungkookie, thank you so much.”

“For what?” He asked as you two were still in an embrace, bodies relaxing.

“For helping me and for loving me. You are sweetly devoted to me, my dear and I am truly so lucky. Thank you for wanting to wait first as well.” Your words were sincere and he truly felt them, letting out a content sigh.

“Thank you also, (y/n)… for allowing me to be in your life and for loving me back. I promise, it will be worth it.” Jungkook said and with that, you both had gotten sleepy and comfortably fell asleep together. Him holding you as you both slept peacefully and soundly.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

This story was inspired by real events I went through. I’ve been sick for 7 years? Gone through 25 doctors. This story is old though! The first disease I was typing about was thyroid & mine switched from hyper to hypo due to it being viral, they concluded. My diagnosis has changed a lot as the doctors were confused always. It’s been hell. My doctor here was wrong about my stomach illness. It’s something else. I had tumors now unfortunately. But I am more accurately diagnosed now & going through a brutal treatment. I got the comment, “this is so inaccurate.” You have no right commenting this & I’ll just block you. You don’t get to invalidate my personal experiences that I shared to create this. Everyone has a different body & goes through illnesses differently. It’s true, my doctors were partly stupid and got half of it wrong but this is still a FANFIC. I just wanted to write a comfort fic for anyone dealing with illness. Something nice. I used real events (from a few yrs ago) as that helps me for writing. The love story is the major fictional part, obviously lol.

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fieldofdaisiies · 7 months

Text

Cauldron Boil Me

ship: Sirius Black x Reader type: angst word count: 2,8k warnings: none request: @dreamingofmarauders Don't really have a concrete idea but perhaps a Slytherin reader, where she puts up a very rude and cold front, and Sirius is always picking fights with her. One day, he pulls a prank on her, but she was already stressed since she would get branded as a Death Eater when she would go home for the holidays, and she just snaps and cries, unintentionally blurting out what she is going through. Sirius feels bad and just please give it a happy ending! (Only if you want to write the request though)

"Filthy little mudblood."

You send your friend a glower, grinding your teeth so hard, your jaw starts to ache.

It is already bad enough that you and Sirius Black are potions partners, you don’t need your house mate, Evan Rosier, and childhood best friend to insult young Hufflepuffs on your way to the potions room.

Evan either ignores your glower, or he really did not notice, but he just keeps on walking, rather casually strolling through the corridors of Hogwarts. "Are we going to Hogsmead this weekend?" Sofie pops up out of nowhere, she is your best friend, shares a dorm room with you, and you every little secret. So, she technically also knows how you feel about Sirius and what might happen in the summer holidays, but these are all problems for future you, not something you want to be thinking about now.

"I think—"

"It is a great idea. We could go to the Three Broomsticks?" It is Mulciber who makes the suggestion and is immediately supported by Bertram Aubrey and Alecto Carrow.

You only shrug, not really in the mood to go to Hogsmead, knowing how dangerous it could be, and all in all you are not really motivated to do things these days. But you also don't want to let down your friends, and so you somehow have to agree.

"Yeah, why not," you say after Sofie nudges you with her elbow.

"I will be fun," she hums, smiling at you from the side. She wants to distract you, hoping to bring the smile back onto your face these dark times have stolen from you.

You try hard to avoid the groan from bursting out of you when you walk into the Potions classroom and the first thing you see is Sirius Black, the brightest star in the sky and the thickest idiot Hogwarts has ever seen. He is balancing his chair, leaned backwards, his arms stretched wide, holding onto the desk and the back of your chair.

"Good morning, my favourite little snake." Sirius grins, from one ear to the other. But it is not the sort of kind grin, it is wicked, almost a little gleeful and you already feel like slapping him. But obviously you don't do it, you are not a violent person.

You simply ignore him, grab the back of your chair, careful not to touch him and pull it backwards.

"Grumpy this morning?" he comments, and you decide to ignore him again.

"Got up on the wrong foot this morning? What is the problem? You always have a lovely comeback—"

"You are the problem." You turn to him, frowning. "And your face is."

"Because I look so incredibly dashing and stunning?" He wiggles his brows.

"Because you are even uglier than the large squid in the Black Lake."

Sirius dramatically folds a hand over his heat and gasps. "Ouch, that hurt."

"Good if your ego is a little harmed, it got too big for your body anyway." You sneer, and then turn away from him, focussing back on the front of the glass where now your teacher, professor Broomscattle, who already prepares everything for the lesson ahead.

When everyone calms down, and also your anger about Mr Black settles, you relax back in your chair and turn your whole focus onto your Potions teacher.

"Good morning, class, today you and your partners will be brewing a wonderful potion."

He opens his book, closes it, opens it again and flicks through the pages, a testament to his already starting forgetfulness and confusion. "Today we will be working on the Fire Protection Potion, also known as the…"

You rhand shoots into the air and when the professor calls your name you answer immediately. "Ice Potion."

"Amazing, five points to Slytherin."

You smile happily, at least something that is going well. But the smile immediately vanishes from your face again.

"Swot," Sirius comments and you kick your leg out, hoping to hit is shin. When he yelps, you grin in triumph.

"At least I am not as thick as a brick."

Sirius throws you a fake grin, but you are both ripped out of your bickering when the professor loudly announces that you should start brewing now. And so, cauldrons start to bubble, mist rises from the bubbling liquids and shadows are casted upon the castle's walls.

"You need to slice the brusting mushrooms, Sirius, not crunch them," you retort, and instead of arguing back he really follows your orders, but chuckles. "Alright, captain, so bossy," he mumbles under his breath, but once again you decide to ignore him.

Just like the cauldron in front of you does, so does Sirius make your blood boil. He enrages you, his sheer presence does. And your tiny little crush on him, which some happened totally on accident and without you being fond of it, does not make it any better.

"Clockwise. You need to stir clockwise, smartass." Sirius leans over you and the cauldron, his brow raised.

"Now who is the swot."

"Still the teacher's pet who earned herself house points moments ago."

"I dislike you so much," you seethe, stirring the liquid with more fore, it nearly swaps over the edges.

Sirius grins and small laugh escapes him. And despite him looking hella amused, some unreadable emotion that almost edges onto hurt passes over his face.

Next up, after the liquid turned blue, you add salamander blood and this time stir it anti-clockwise. "Anti-clockwise now," you tell Sirius, holding his gaze. "So, our smartass is happy." Your voice drips with sarcasm.

"Very happy, brewing potions with the person who loathes me the most in all of Hogwarts."

"That is not true!" you snap and want to cover your quick mouth with your hand. It is really not true, but…ugh, you curse yourself and quickly say, "I am sure there are many more who hate you even more than I do."

"Snivellus?"

"Severus!" Your voice drips with anger…you don't like Snape that much, but you hate that everyone is always mocking him, and bullying him. He does not deserve it, not at all.

Sirius coos, "Aww, are you two dating. Are you sneaking away to kiss secretly? The slimy git and his little snake."

You throw your head back and groan. "Shut up, Sirius, honestly. Or I'll hex you."

The potion in front of you has turned green by then which tells you it is time to at the crushed Wartcap powder and once again stir it clockwise until it turns red.

The air between you, enhanced by the high humidity and scent of potions, is thick. You are both walking on thin ice, and yet Sirius once again wears his usual mischievous grin. Stupid, silly Sirius Black grin…

"Y/l/N, remind me again why I got stuck with you as a partner. Honestly, I would rather brew with a three-headed dog."

"First and last time that I will agree with you, Black." You narrow your eyes at him, watching how his eyes sparkle at what you said. "But I think you are stuck with me, because it might be your one chance to pass this school year, we all know that in your brain there is not much except for hot air."

Sirius chuckles under his breath. "Well, Y/N, you might discover I'm a natural at this. I am smart, brilliant, intelligent, absolutely handsome looking. I don't need you to help me get good grades, but maybe you need my help?"

"You forgot one thing about yourself." You sneer. "You are also incredibly…insufferable."

In all honesty, you just want to be left alone. Your whole life is already so much to deal with, you don't want to spend your lessons bantering with Sirius. You don't want to think about him at all. You have a crush on him yes, but you are also very aware that nothing will ever happen between the two of you. It is not possible, he is all good and anti-Death Eaters, anti-Slytherin, despite his little brother being in the house. But you are…you are also anti-Death Eaters, anti-Voldemort, anti-war, but you can't escape your family's beliefs. It is not so easy for you. You are trapped and you have no choice. It hurts.

Despite the relentless banter with him, you manage to add all the ingredients together, though with a great deal of unnecessary shoving and bickering. The cauldron bubbles and releases a puff of smoke, making both of you cough.

"Well, done, you are getting us both in detention," Sirius grumbles, acting like it is your fault that the cauldron or potion just did that. You frown, then throw him a glower. "You don't have to talk, you are practically a walking detention. Wouldn't be anything new for you," you retort, your irritation evident in your voice.

You keep on mixing and brewing, silence stretching out between you.

Just as the tension between you and Sirius seems to be easing, he can't resist one last opportunity to stir the pot — or cauldron…

You both stand there, looking at your potion, he slyly waves his wand below the desk and mutters a spell under his breath. Suddenly, the potion changes colour, and bubbles vividly, frothing splashing and flowing over the edges and all over you. You cloak is stained in more than one colour, the liquid slowly trickling down.

Your jaw drops in disbelief, and you can feel your cheeks heat up with anger. "Sirius Black, what have you done?" you demand, voice tinged with fury.

Sirius bursts into laughter, his shoulders shaking. He did not expect the potion to blow up like this, but…

"Relax, Y/N, it's just a bit of fun. You look amazing by the way!"

You glare at him, your fists clenched at your sides. "Fun? This is an important assignment!"

Irritation burns through your veins and you feel how tears start to burn behind your eyes.

You only have school, you only have school were your work is appreciated, where you are seen. And now Sirius messed everything up.

"Relax, it's just fun." He grins but it vanishes immediately when he sees the hurt in your eyes.

"No, it is not. Not always is everything fun!"

You push off the desk, turn and sprint away, desperately wanting to get away so no one can see the tears now flowing out of your eyes.

It was just a silly prank…but it is too much. Everything is too much and this was now the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Unbeknownst to you, Sirius is following after you, not minding at all that your Potions professor is shouting after you, telling you to come back. You don't hear it over the blood rushing in your ears, Sirius simply does not care — there are more important things to deal with now.

Tears of frustration and anger blur your vision, as you try to escape from…everything.

You run through the corridors, not really sure where you're going. The weight of everything—Voldemort's looming threat, the pressure of being in Slytherin during these turbulent times, your parents and the whole situation at home and now this stupid, this absolutely idiotic, prank—feels like everything is going to crush you. You find an empty classroom and slump down in a chair, burying your face in your hands, sobbing.

You're crying, and you can't make it stop. It's all just too much, and you feel utterly alone. You don't even realise how much time has passed when you hear the door creak open. Startled, and with read puffy eyes and ragged breaths leaving you, you look up and find Sirius Black standing in the door frame.

"Hey," he says softly, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

"Hey?!" you blurt out and wipe away some burning tears with the back of your hand.

He startles, taken aback by your sharp tone. His expression — actually his whole demeanour crumbles— and he takes more steps towards you.

"Leave! What do you even want here?" you mutter, your voice cracking.

Sirius takes a step closer, his expression serious. "I didn't mean for it to go this far. I didn't want to upset you like this. I did not think you would react in this way, it was a silly prank."

You can't help but feel a bit surprised by his sincerity. A lot actually. This is not like him. You've never seen him like that ever before.

You expected him to make fun of you or taunt you further. Instead, he seems genuinely apologetic…

You are torn…should you tell him why you reacted like that? Curse him? Shout at him? Make him leave?

You don't know and you struggle a lot. You wipe away more tears and sniff.

And decide to finally open up a little. You have to tell someone at some point, why not him? Well, there are many reasons for why not him, but the situation is quite fortunate. And he comes from a pure blood family but is against blood purity, he might understand better than some others.

"It's not just about the prank, Sirius. It's everything. The current situation, Voldemort, the Death Eaters, my parents… It's all so overwhelming, and I don't know how to handle it."

Sirius pulls out the chair next to you and takes a seat, his gaze fixed on yours. "I get it," he says quietly. "It's scary. It's all too much for anyone at this moment I think. But you don't have to do it alone."

You look at him, searching his eyes for any hint of insincerity, for the normal taunting and teasing glimmer in them. But all you find is warmth and understanding, empathy. It's a side of Sirius you've rarely seen — never actually.

"I just... I don't know who to trust anymore," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "Everyone is acting suspicious…Everyone starts to hide things. I don't feel happy anywhere anymore. Except for school and then in school…this stupid prank."

Sirius reaches out and gently places a hand on yours. "I am so sorry," he says, his voice soft but resolute. "This was so idiotic."§

You swallow, the warmth of his palm somehow so soothing and lovely.

Sirius breathes out a long exhale, and throws his head back, dark curls shifting with the movement. "Good Godrick, I care about you. I care about what happens to you. I know it might not seem like it, has never seemed like it, but I really do."

Tears dwell in your eyes again, but this time, they're not tears of sadness. Somehow they are tears of gratitude. For his kind words and the showing you a side of him, he never lets anyone see. You never expected this side of Sirius Black, and it's both surprising and comforting.

"Maybe I also don't hate you as much as it might seem." You meet his gaze again, locking.

"You might think I am crazy about what I will say next…" His thumb strokes over the back of your hand, his eyes never leaving yours.

"I like you, you know," Sirius says, his voice almost a whisper. "I mean, I really like you. More than just a friend."

Your heart skips a beat, and you can feel your cheeks flush. Your eyes widen in surprise. "You do?"

Sirius nods, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, I do. And I know it's a crazy time to say it, but I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. You know, I am a little impulsive, sorry if that was too straightforward."

You can't help but smile back at him, despite your tears. In this moment, the world outside seems to fade away, and it's just the two of you in that empty classroom.

"This might sound even more crazy, but I like you too, Sirius," you admit, your voice filled with honesty. "More than just a friend. Except for the one moment earlier, I really despised you then."

He grins, and without warning, he pulls you into a warm, comforting hug. You bury your face in his chest, feeling safe and cared for in his arms. It's a strange and unexpected turn of events, but maybe, just maybe, there's a glimmer of hope in the darkest of times.

"I am still sorry, and I promise to never ever do something like that again." His hand strokes over your back and you find yourself nodding against his chest.

"Alright," you whisper, a single tear sliding down your cheek. "Alright. Apology accepted."

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius x reader #marauders #marauders era #sirius being sirius #sirius orion black

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