#a lot of time i only have energy for scrolling but not actually talking

[teddybeartoji]

lays down and kicks my feet, tell me some thoughts you have about satoru, draws circles on your blog with my finger

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII JAZZ HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII:3333333333 IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU HEREE HEHEHEHHEEE i have a bunch of smaller headcanons for him i hope that's what you were looking for!!!!!!!!

HE DROOLS WHEN HE SLEEPS!!!!!!!! like actually drools. he also snores but the snoring is so fucking cute??????????? i hate him why is everything he does always so perfect?????????? bro can't even fucking drool and snore in a bad way smhhhhhhhhh

HE LOVES WATCHING YOU DO "HARD WORK"!!!!!!!!! and by "hard work" i mean shit like carrying around heavy things and idk putting together furniture or smth lmao. it most definitely turns him on too.......... there's just smth abt your dirty clothes and your sweat and your concentrated face and he loooooves when you tell him that you don't want his help!!! he always offers bc he's a Gentleman like that even though he knows you don't necessarily need it. but the way you just go "no-no, i got it." gets him going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he wants youu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's bringing you drinks like he's a proper malewife and then proceeds to just admire you while you work lmao.

HE LOVES CALLING YOU!!!!!!!!! calls you over the smallest things. he just wants to talk to you and he wants to hear your voice!!!!!! some of the calls are literally just minute long (and that's only bc he spends 30seconds on saying that he loves you), while some calls are hours long. oh and he absolutely adores if you do the same. he wants you to call and send voice messages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOSES HIS SOCKS ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he steals yours btw. he's constantly going "baaaaaaaabee! have you seen my sock?!" while the said sock is literally sitting on the chair right next to him SMHHH ok but when you show it to him he just turns to you with a dopey smile and gives you a sloppy, haste little kiss, mumbling how he doesn't know what he'd do without you............... i wanna marry him jazz i wanna marry him

LOVES KISSING YOUR TUMMYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's always smiling while doing it too. you could just be lazing on the couch, scrolling on the phone and he's crawling on top of you. he pushes up your shirt just so he can see and feel your skin before pressing light, gentle kisses on you. if you peek at him from under your phone, you'd just find him staring back at you with sparkling eyes.

HE DOESN'T LIKE TEA???????? idk this just feels right okay... don't judge me i am an avid tea drinker so i am upset abt this too. no matter how much honey or sugar you put on it, he's always scrunching his nose at the taste. he is willing to try different ones just for you but i really feel like he's not a fan of any of the flavours. (FLAVOUR???? TEA FLAVOUR???? idk english is weird ok)

(he knows exactly how you like yours though. suguru has taught him how to make good tea, so satoru relishes in making you smile whenever he surprises you with a cup!!!! he knows when you want it too; he's a bit of a mind reader honestly. you sit down on the couch and he's already marching into the kitchen with a mission. it's his love language<33)

SHOWERS EVERY MORNING!!!!!!!!!! i think he loves showering. just overall. it gives him so much energy and it makes him feel so good, so fresh - it's the best way to start his day!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also sings in the shower. or more like yells in the shower. a lot. he's dumb and i love him. and then he always steps out of the bathroom with wet hair and just like a pair of pyjama pants on and he smells so fucking good aaaand it makes you wanna get him all dirty again!!!!! i said what i said.

(he sometimes just leans on the doorframe as he's brushing his teeth and just grins at you knowing full well that you wanna EAT HIMMM)

OKE I THINK I'M GONNA STOP HERE BEFORE I FULLY LOSE IT!!!!!!! BUT WAHHH I LOVE TALKING ABT HIM SOOO SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR DROPPING BY AND THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME JAZZ<333333333333333 I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING AN AMAZING DAY MY LOVEE MWAH MWAH MWAHMWAH!!!!!

#MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #HE'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOYFRIEND #SOOOOSO BOYFRIEND #IT'S CRAZY #HE'S LITERALLY A LOVERBOY #LIKE HE'S JUST MEANT TO BE A LOVERBOY #!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #my sweet angel #angel boy #jazz <3 #friends!! #mickey is daydreaming #gojo #gojo headcanons #gojo fluff #gojo satoru

[crushmeeren]

🍓Kirishima SFW & NSFW Headcannons

Everyone involved in this fic is aged up/18+; continue scrolling or block if you aren’t into it

Warnings; daddy kink, praise kink, rough sex, hair pulling, mentions of choking, throat fucking, pussy eating, vaginal sex, Kirishima spits into readers mouth and you swallow that shit happily, cream pie, sweet aftercare, sleepy sex

Note; I’m in love with Kirishima, I’ve been writing a lot of headcannons lately but I simply could not resist the urge to write about the overgrown puppy that is Kirishima. Enjoy this meal with me 🍓

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Eijirou who is the actual human embodiment of a ray of sunshine (he is the definition of golden retriever energy—you know if he had a tail it would wag non stop, definitely smacking the shit out of you)

Eijirou who you met for the first at the gym—you were uncomfortable & unsure of what you were doing when this mountain of a man with bright ass red hair came up to you so shy and explained how to back squat without hurting yourself (this fucker had the sweetest smile, despite his sharp teeth—but Jesus Mother Mary & Joseph—you thought you would fall to your knees just looking at him)

Eijirou who stuttered and turned pink every time you asked him to be your spotter whenever you saw him at the gym, until finally he asked for your number (you were gonna ask for his if he didn’t do it first—you definitely did not fist pump afterwards)

Eijirou who is a heart stopping amount of stacked, but is the biggest softie you have ever met, who gets overly excited to play with your dog-wrestling with him and cuddling him (you swear your dog now loves Eiji more than you, ever since you moved in together they’re two peas in a pod- much to your chagrin)

Eijirou who is really smart — okay maybe not top dog when it comes to book smart but he is street smart and exceptional at reading people, who always knows how you’re feeling even when you don’t say anything (it’s always a relief that he can tell when you don’t feel like talking)

Eijirou who is oblivious to how he looks, who has a shit ton of of instagram followers—not because he tries, no it’s because he started posting pictures of himself at the gym just for fun and unbeknownst to him everything he posts is like a goddamn thirst trap (he only realizes after you point it out because you’re starting to get jealous of all the comments but he always says he only has eyes for you)

Eijirou who almost never says no to you, who always goes with the flow, an easy smile lighting up his face, who lets you pick out the movie for date night more often than not (you make sure to pick something he likes anyways)

Eijirou who really likes cherry twizzlers, who has literal hearts in his eyes whenever you buy him a pack every Friday (he coos adorably at you when you hand him the bag saying you’re so sweet to me pretty girl, I love you so much! How did I get so lucky??), who shares them with you anyways

Eijirou who loves to wear athletic clothes—but also likes to dress punk?? (he’s very diverse), who has his ears pierced (two on each lobe), who looks otherworldly when he wears nicer outfits (you definitely make the joke about his clothes looking better on your floor)

Eijirou who is best friends with Katsuki, (you’ve shockingly been able to become close to him as well), who often plays video games online with his friends (Katsuki, Denki, Sero, also Izuku & Shouto), who likes it when you sit on the floor between his legs while he plays

Eijirou who purrs like a cat when you scratch his scalp whenever his hair is down, who lays his head in your lap while you watch TV so you can continue to play with his hair, who falls asleep halfway through the movie because he feels too relaxed

Eijirou whose presence is calming and friendly, who makes you feel safe, who everyone likes (you’ve never heard a bad word said about him—you’d curb stomp anyone who did)

Eijirou who has made you feel more loved then anyone else you’ve ever been with before, who fills your chest with a warmth so intense your eyes often sting with tears—who brings you your favorite food or drink out of blue, who makes you laugh so hard your stomach cramps (he’s the funniest motherfucker you know)

Eijirou who has become your other half, like a limb you didn’t realize was missing all this time, who becomes your husband, who becomes the father of your children, who you share a love with that only comes once every five life times (you know you’ll never love anyone else no matter what comes your way)

🍓NSFW Headcannons Below🍓

Eijirou who kisses you so softly, lips sliding with yours lazily as he lets out little sighs, thumbs slipping under your shirt to tease the smooth skin over your hip bones as you straddle him—until he lets his sharp teeth snag on your bottom lip, chomping into the flesh there, wrenching a startled gasp out of you (he sucks on it apologetically afterwards)

Eijirou who has a thing for letting you dry hump him (while you’re both still clothed), head thumping back on the couch cushion, fingers tight on your waist, flushing, groaning, eyes fluttering shut as he helps you drag your clit back and forth over his cock—dick throbbing painfully from the friction through his jeans

Eijirou who has a switch that flips once he gets to a certain level of aroused, who tosses you onto the bed effortlessly, caging you between his arms, who grips your jaw tightly —forcing it to pop open (he spits possessively into your mouth, telling you to swallow it baby girl, which you do gladly)

Eijirou who loves the feel of your hot, wet mouth sucking his cock, who gets you sitting on your calves on the floor, back against the mattress as his fingers hold the back of your head in place, so he can fuck your throat, who keeps one knee up on the bed next to your head as he thrusts, groin tightening when you look at him with teary eyes (he murmurs lowly baby girl s’good at sucking daddys cock aren’t you? —Your pussy drools)

Eijirou who eats your pussy from behind, soft tongue consistently licking at your clit, fingers stretching your pussy as your face is shoved into the sheets, ass in the air for him, your belly flutters warmly as he smacks your ass with his free hand (it doesn’t take you long to cum like this)

Eijirou whose cock is thick, and you’re talking thick thick, enough that he has to get you dripping before he can get his dick wet (but you love it, the stretch is almost an overwhelming pleasure)

Eijirou who has a daddy kink, who makes you beg for his cock when he has you folded in half—knees almost touching your ears, he teases your pussy with his tip telling you condescendingly you gotta ask daddy nicely if you want to be split open sweetheart (you absolutely do sob daddy please)

Eijirou whose chest gets slick with sweat (hair always falling from its spiky position when you start to go at it), whose moans raise in pitch when he can feel your nipples slipping over & over on his pecs as he fucks you, the sensation making pleasure blister through your limbs, pussy fluttering which makes Eijirou cry out

Eijirou who has a filthy deep stroke, who pants & whispers toe curling praise in your ear but fucks you like he’s trying to carve out your guts, you weave your fingers through his hair, tugging sharply as he moves, (pussy s’good to me sweet thing, daddy loves fucking you, such a tight little thing)

Eijirou who growls under his breath when he fucks you from behind, sliding his cock back in your pussy all the way to the root, forcing a choked sob out of you, who is brutal from the get go, pelvis smacking wetly against yours

Eijirou who makes you cum instantly, wailing please daddy just like that! when he threads his fingers through your hair, forcing your neck back at a sharp angle, activating his quirk just enough on his left hand so he can leave bruises on your hip (oh? right there angel? that was a big one wasn’t it baby, so good cumming for daddy — voice dripping in your belly like honey)

Eijirou who pulls you up into his lap, back against his chest, hand around your throat as he bounces you on his cock, who makes your back arch as he bites on your shoulder, whining lowly as he cums, whose cock you can feel pulsing as his sticky release fills you up (fuck daddy, love when you cum in me — that makes his eyes roll back)

Eijirou who has you limping to the shower afterwards, but he washes your body, rubs your lower back, who tells you how much he loves you as he carries you back to the bed in a towel, who makes you giggle as he pokes your ribs when you change into one of his large T-shirts

Eijirou whose face you pepper with kisses when he climbs into the bed with you, who lets you wake him up in the middle of the night to ride him sweet and slow, foreheads pressed together, breathing the same air, limbs heavy with sleep, who cradles you against his chest when you eventually fall back asleep

#kirishima eijirou x reader #eijirou kirishima x reader #kirishima smut #kirishima x reader #eijirou kirishima #kirishima eijirou #mha kirishima #mha headcanons #kirishima headcanon #mha oneshot #mha smut #kirishima fluff #eijirou x reader #mha eijiro kirishima #kirishima eijiro x reader #bnha smut #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha kirishima #eijiro kirishima smut #eijiro smut #mha eijirou #kirishima x you #my hero headcanons #my hero smut #my hero academia smut #my hero academy fanfiction #kirishima eijiro smut

[beenbaanbuun]

seventeen hyung line’s reaction to their youngest member forgetting to take care of themself

choi seungcheol

seungcheol is literally your father (or at least he believes so) so be warned, he will be watching you 24/7

notices the small things, like if your eye bags are particularly dark, and will call you out on it immediately

“how much sleep did you get last night?” he falls onto the couch, occupying the spot next to you and wrapping his arm around your shoulders

“uh, like 4 hours, i guess,” you ignore the glare he gives you, “but it’s only because i was practicing late…”

he hums as he uses his hand to push your head onto his shoulder

“that’s not enough, kid,” he mumbles into your hairline, “not nearly enough, actually. how about you nap now?

you consider arguing, but you know it’s useless so you just nod and let yourself get comfy against him

he just sits and scrolls through his phone for an hour or so before rearranging you so you’re not leant on him

cant help himself when he sees you with your cheeks squished up against the pillow and takes a photo

carats will love it when he posts it on weverse…

yoon jeonghan

jeonghan takes care of you without even noticing you’re not taking care of yourself

it’s all part of being his baby the youngest

so you’re far from surprised when he comes into your room one day with a cup of ramen in his hands

he says he’s just come to see what you’re doing, but you cant help but notice that in between his own bites, he’s shoving mouthful after mouthful in your direction

and you barely get to answer his questions because whenever you try to, he just scolds you for talking with your mouthful

“so what did you say you’re doing?” he leans over to you, eyes trained on your computer screen as he holds another mouthful in front of you

you take it and begin to chew

“well, you s-”

“finish your food before you talk,” he scolds, “don’t be gross!”

you just roll your eyes and do as he says

you know there’s no point in arguing

joshua hong

joshua hong can and will make you go outside with him

most of the time he claims it’s because he’s in need of a photographer, but you begin to notice a pattern

oh, you haven’t been out in a few days? you’re practically counting down the seconds until josh is walking through your door with your shoes, ready to go

and don’t worry if you refuse - joshua has his methods

“i’ll tell seungcheol,” he says as he walks into your room, swinging your trainers from his hands.

“oh yeah? what will you tell him?” you pay him no mind, knowing seungcheol won’t care if you haven’t left the house in a few days…

“i’ll tell him all about how you’ve locked yourself in your room and you’re not sleeping or eating enough,” he grins at you, happy with the lies he’s spouting.

you gasp and stand up in shock

“that’s not fair!” you grumble, “you can’t just lie to him!”

joshua laughs and passes you your shoes.

“i can and i will,” he gives you an innocent smile, “now come on, my little photographer! you have a job to do.”

wen junhui

doesn’t necessarily notice you’ve been living off of energy drinks and snack food until hoshi mentions it one day in practice

and sure enough when he looks over he notices you with a monster can in hand and a bag of chips resting between your thighs

and actually, now that he thinks about it, you woke up too late to eat breakfast so this is your first meal of the day

he excuses himself from his conversation to walk over to you and crouch next to you

“is that all you’re eating?” he pulls you out of your daydream and you look at him in confusion, “i mean, you didn’t have breakfast, which you should’ve because cheol told us to eat a lot since we’d be too busy for lunch.”

you frown and look at the bag of chips, which is almost gone, and think about how you should’ve rationed them more

“i take that as a yes,” he frowns, “and don’t get me started on the monster! if minghao sees you drinking that he’ll have an aneurysm. doesn’t he always warn you about keeping yourself healthy?”

you can’t help but roll your eyes and put your drink down on the floor

“i just need the energy,” you complain, “my body feels tired.”

“yeah, because you didn’t eat this morning,” he argues and stands up, holding his hand out to pull you up too, “now, let’s go and beg cheol for a small lunch break, okay?”

kwon soonyoung

he notices the way you trip over during practice and have to stumble through the rest of the dance with a limp

immediately pauses the music once the routine finished and calls you out on it

“take a seat for a while,” he orders, “you cant dance on an injured ankle, and it’ll make it worse if you try to.”

but you insist that you’re fine because you don’t want to slow down practice or make it difficult for the others

there’s a staring match between you and hoshi for a while, but he will not give in

if there’s two things he cares about to the end of the earth, it’s dance and his members and you’re just unlucky that this involves both of them

“go and sit down before i drag you to the bench myself,” god, you hate how scary he gets when he’s teaching choreography, “and don’t test me because i will do it.”

you know he will, so you just bow your head and hobble to the side of the room where the bench is waiting for you

“good,” he mumbles, going back to the stereo that’s waiting for him to press play, “i’ll get someone to grab an ice pack for you, okay?”

jeon wonwoo

he likes to spend quiet time with you which means more often than not, he’s around to take care of you

like he’ll literally be sat playing games on his pc, checking on you out of the corner of his eye every few minutes

if he sees your eyes drooping for even a second, he pauses his game and gives you a soft look

“go to sleep, kiddo,” he instructs softly, smiling a little when you jolt yourself awake, “i can see you dropping to sleep over there. don’t fight it, you probably need it.”

you grimace, taking a deep breath before you sit up properly and rub your eyes

“i’m fine, woo,” you grumble, widening your eyes slightly to try and make yourself feel more awake

he just laughs to himself, shaking his head as if he didn’t believe you

“go to bed, or i’ll take you myself,” you roll your eyes at him, but open your arms wide

“carry me?” you beg as if you’re a kid rather than someone just a few years younger than him

to which he rolls his eyes jokingly and stands up from his desk

“you’re so lucky i love you,” he chuckles

“you love me?” you tease

“yes, even though you’re annoying…”

lee jihoon

he loves you, he really does, but sometimes he’s a little too busy to pay too much attention to the small things

besides, he trusts him members to take care of their maknae well

except the two of you are in the studio, just messing around really

it was your suggestion because you wanted to spend time with him, and he had nothing too important to do so obviously he said yes

you’re spitting absolute bars into the microphone whilst he struggles to hold in his laughter, but half way through he can’t help but notice a strange grumbling behind your voice

he pauses the track he quickly produced just moments prior to you stepping in the booth and your voice peters away

“have you eaten today?” he furrows his brows as he hears it again, “and don’t even think about lying to me, kid.”

you roll your eyes in annoyance

“i had breakfast…”

“it’s midnight,” he deadpans, “you haven’t eaten since breakfast?”

you shrug, not seeing the big issue

“wasn’t hungry, was i…”

he stands up from his desk and shuffled over to the booth’s door, pulling it open immediately

“don’t care, pipsqueak,” his voice is much clearer now he’s speaking directly to you, “let’s go eat. we can carry this on again later and then we won’t have your tummy grumbling in the background, yeah?”

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #svt scenarios #seventeen reactions #seventeen oneshots #svt reactions #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen addition #seventeen 14th member #svt addition #svt 14th member

[mysticmikalla]

Stardew Valley Bachelors Cuddling Headcanons

thinkin' about cuddly bachelors to Cope

Harvey

Harvey is one of those people who only lay in bed when he is ready to go to sleep, so cuddling is usually a pre-sleep activity, an added treat at the end of his long day

I think he likes being both the little and big spoon, but prefers being held just a liiiitle bit more

He likes to lay with you after a shower, a shave and his teeth are brushed, because once he lays down with you.... only the shrill sound of his alarm going off in the morning will be enough to get him back up

Harvey is one of those people who hate a rushed routine and take punctuality very seriously

But because waking up in your arms just feels too darn good sometimes, he sets an alarm a little earlier than his usual one, just so he can be awake enough to enjoy the first minutes of the morning being held by you

Shane

I believe Shane likes to be horizontal more than he likes to be vertical on a good day, anyway

But after you? Oh boy

There is no feeling like coming home and being able to sink into the mattress, his body heavy with the weight of the day

And now on top of that he then gets to have the person he loves laying on his chest? Tracing his skin with your fingers absentmindedly? Massaging his scalp with the pads on your fingers?

It’s his favorite thing in the world, actually

He'll cling on to you especially tight after a rough day, only reluctantly letting you go if you absolutely must

Sam

Although Sam loves it when it’s just you and him and his bed in your own little world, this man cannot sit still for too long

If you’re just laying together and talking, he needs to be playing with your fingers, with your hair, playfully biting your arm, a tickle attack or two

He also likes to lay on you. Like, fully - body completely on top of yours as he scrolls on his phone or rambles about something while you run your hands through his blond hair

Maybe he has too much energy, or maybe it's the ADHD I headcanon him to have, or maybe he's just really excited to finally get some alone time with you

… Sam just wants to be all over you, all at once

Unless he’s super exhausted or it’s before going to sleep, cuddling with Sam is not usually a bonding relaxing experience, but rather bonding over a playful one

Sebastian

Because of how he is and how he prefers to show and receive affection, Sebastian has always been kind of touch-starved, tbh

Especially in the beginning of the relationship

I think it’s no secret that he isn’t a very touchy person in general, but...

Sebastian liked cuddling a lot more than he was willing to admit or ask for at first

But back when you two first started dating, you would waste days away in his bed, talking about nothing and everything for hours, sleeping together, playing together, getting high, having sex, repeat

Just… you and him and him and you in your own world, limbs comfortably tangled with each other

Especially during the winter when you didn’t have as much farm work, you two would only pull away from each other for bare necessities

After you’re married and he’s moved in, he likes that the bed is bigger and sometimes you two can lay together and do your own thing in your own space

But in the end he’ll always gravitate back towards you

Elliot

Cuddling with Elliot is peaceful

His voice takes on another melody when it’s just you and him in the comfort of his bed

The lights are dim but bright enough so that he can softly read you to sleep

He plays with your hair, his touches soft and gentle along the exposed skin of your arms

And he smells so good, and it's all around you as you lay in the comfort of his arms

Elliot likes it when you’re draped on him and he gets to wrap his arms around you and envelop you fully

Any position that allows him to be so close to you is his favorite

It’s…. safe. And Elliot likes safe

Alex

I firmly believe Alex prefers being the little spoon the majority of the time

Sometimes muscly jocks just want to be held, you know?

He likes to feel your body pressed against his from behind, and he’ll pull on your arms, tightening them around him, as if he’s letting you know how much he doesn’t want you to let go quite yet

He'll kiss the top of your hair, then bury his face on your neck and place kisses there too, sometimes innocent, sometimes not

Although not as bad as Sam, Alex doesn’t like to sit still for too long, either, so cuddling sessions are either before bed or a brief but welcome break during the day

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew valley headcanons #sdv headcanons #sdv harvey #sdv shane #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv elliott #sdv alex #idk man im having cramps today and i just want to be held

[ceilidho]

Best friend Johnny who's first instinct when you get a boyfriend is to go down on you/finger you till you're squirmy and crying. Maybe edges you until you agree to break up with the guy.

and if he's TOXIC sends a small video of himself going down on reader or fingering her open. Most of reader is strategically covered by either johnnys hands (or mouth lmao) but based on her voice and Johnny's 'she was mine first' message - the now ex figures it out lmao.

oh I'm screaming at this, anon

Best friend Johnny who finds out that you have a boyfriend (maybe you only just started dating or just made it official or something) and it flips a switch in him.

He's been passively interested in you for awhile now, but because you rarely date, he'd been lazy about it. Content to tease you and leave you on edge, making you sit in his lap when you'd go out with friends, talking on the phone until you fall asleep, licking sauce off the corner of your mouth like the gross degenerate that he is instead of using a napkin - anything to get you worked up and squirming in your chair.

Didn't think he'd have to rush into a relationship or sleeping together just yet because the chase is half the fun for him.

He didn't think you'd actually be desperate enough to go out on a date with someone else, never mind get a boyfriend. At first he feels a bit betrayed, maybe even panicked. You aren't dating but it feels a bit like you're replacing him with another guy. Another man who doesn't feel an iota of what Johnny feels for you, who's only there because Johnny's been taking his sweet time instead of locking you down.

It's okay though; he won't make the same mistake twice.

I have a recurring terrible daydream of you losing your job and Johnny manipulating you into doing porn with him :(( and he promises that no one else will see - it'll just be a couple amateur videos that you'll hide behind a paywall and once you've saved up a nice little nest egg, that'll be it. Except he doesn't make a huge effort to hide your faces from the camera or keep himself from saying your name. In fact, he spends a lot of time filming the two of you just making out, always sloppy and heated.

And he wants to film every single day! It doesn't feel like a proper job where there's a separation between work life and personal life. When you aren't filming, he still wants to 'practice' - eating you out in the back of his car after going to the movies, making you blow him on the couch after you come back from a date. Monopolizing so much of your time that you barely have the energy to go out with your actual boyfriend. But when he makes you sit on his cock while you look over how much you made that month, you can't deny how nice it is to not feel stressed about your finances for a change.

It's horrifically embarrassing the day your boyfriend stumbles across one of your videos, but Johnny's the best at comforting you when you come crying to him. Says all the right things. Has every argument in the world about why it wasn't cheating. Gets mad at your ex on your behalf for scrolling through porn accounts in the first place. He says all of this while not so subtly ushering you into your bedroom.

#cod mw2 #ceil writing #cod x reader #soap mw2 #soap mactavish #soap call of duty #john soap mactavish #soap cod #soap x reader #soap x you #soap/reader

[astrologylunadream]

What does your crush think of you?🌸💕 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hii I'm Lunadream!🤗 This is officially my first reading~ :D This time we'll be doing a reading on what your crush thinks of you <3 I hope you find your message💌

Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ Also feel free to pick more than one pile if you feel called to!💘 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of your crush, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~♡

Pile 1 💋

Pile 2 🌈

Pile 3 🌌

Pile 4 💿

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💖

Pile 1💋

Sign energy: Nightmare, Air, Forever, Success, Doll, 10th house, Aquarius, Water, Jupiter, 6th house, 🚷💋♍😟

💗Your crush's energy: I already got a heavy feeling with this one, like a really intense and serious energy. Your crush is most likely very attractive in an effortless way, like they don't even try haha. There's just something about them that's naturally very magnetic. I'm getting strong earth (Virgo, Taurus, Capricorn) energy. One or both of you (more likely your crush) may be somewhat intimidating like you don't want to cross them because they don't just tolerate anything they'll up and leave if they aren't okay with the way things are going, that's the vibe I'm getting from your crush. They most likely have a great sense of self worth and they just know what is a waste of their time and what isn't. They could be older than you, Also for most of you they're probably really tall, either physically or mentally taller than you for sure haha very assertive and maybe even more dominant aswell.

🧠What they think of you: I could already tell first thing they think of you a lot actually. They see you as an object of their desires, someone they like really want. This could be really surprising to you especially if they don't talk much. (I feel like they're rather impassive or at least come off that way sometimes) I kinda think they might be a little obsessed with you secretly but this might not be something they realize just yet ;) Also physically they think you're like a doll, and also your figure might be living in their mind rent free (just saying👀🖤). They really want to "own" you, I feel like you turned this person's whole world upside down and you're taking them over slowly, their thoughts of you might be controlling them a little. They really want things to work out between you two, because they are really into you secretly. They may not even show any interest in you whatsoever but just know it's probably because they're REALLY hard to read lol, next thing you know they're stalking your social media (no doubt) and they fantasize about you all the time omg. They want this to be forever they want to be with you forever, like I said they don't tolerate just anything but this connection is not something they want to give up.

💌Messages from your crush: Don't think of anyone else, I didn't used to feel this way, I want to keep this private, You made a mistake, It's the worst, You don't have a choice, We finally meet, All I need is your touch, Extra cards: Purple, Ability, Odd, Love, Vision, 6th house, Earth, Chiron, Aquarius, Scorpio

I hope you enjoyed your reading <3 If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the kiss emoji💋! Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 2🌈

Sign energy: Fake smile, Reflect, Thighs, Skin, Absence, Juno, Capricorn, Air, Vertex, Sagittarius, 🧚‍♀️🙆‍♀️🧘‍♂️🔭

💗Your crush's energy: This is most likely a friend or a more platonic connection, I'm getting a bright vibe when you two are together. Okay so I'm kind of getting some of you may be in the lgbtq community or maybe your crush is or it could be both of you. I feel like your crush is really fun and entertaining, like they light up the room and everyone around them. They're witty and charming, and they also like to joke around sometimes. Sagittarius and air sign energy is prominent, also they may have nice thighs and legs. They're like a best friend even if you guys aren't whatever the situation may be, there's a sense of adventure and wildness to them. They might be the kind to hide their feelings behind jokes, or for some of you your crush may be afraid of showing the real them. They are a lot like you, you two may be similar or like similar things. Like you both are into something really weird and it's like "wait you like that too??" kind of thing.😇 They may be quirky in some way or just unique, very special person~ you can't help but smile around them. They may seem like a social butterfly and super outgoing or a lot of people just like them.

🧠What they think of you: Okay so I kinda feel like they may be into spirituality or tarot just to know more about you, like they're trying to see if you would like them for who they are or if you won't judge them because they're really afraid of rejection. They probably think of you alot and reflect on all the times you had together, because you're actually really unique to them as much as they are to you💫 For some of you your crush may be a bit freaky so they hide that from others, your opinion of them matters to them a lot. They want to hold your hand and think about it often. They may really want a relationship but they feel like they aren't good enough or like you two aren't compatible but honestly you two have so much in common and they don't really realize this so they just think you're gonna like see them as silly or immature, but of course if you truly love and accept them for who they really are then they'll honestly love you for that.

💌Messages from your crush: I would kill for you, I will die for you, (wow yandere vibes😳🙊) Why am I so addicted to you? Things didn't go as planned, The past is in the past, For now, I'll cheer for you, I'm desperate, Extra cards: Mean, Home, Swim, Emotions, Gap, Gemini, 5th house, Juno, Leo, Neptune

I hope you enjoyed your reading!!👏 If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the rainbow emoji🌈! Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🥰

Pile 2🌌

Sign energy: Chest, Chemistry, Toy, Only one, Love letter, Mars, Pisces, Aquarius, Earth, 8th house, 💧👿🌏☄

💗Your crush's energy: Uh oh, this is a really deep and passionate person. This is someone who is really in touch with their pluto energy also a lot of mars and 8th house energy, they're like so alluring and very appealing physically as well as their mentality. They probably have a very artistic mind and also a really dark one, like they are really touchy and emotional so their mind is just 🌪⛈🔮🗡🥀👿 yeah that's definitely their vibe. This could be mirrored energy but they may be very spiritual or psychic, they just have a really deep aura about them. They may be far away, and everything they do feels mysterious. For some of you this is a real bad girl/bad boy kinda crush. They probably look really magical and have a very attractive mind. You may be addicted to this person, or like you can't stop thinking about them🤭😰 there's a lot of water energy in this pile (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) and but also like really hot energy okay lol.

🧠What they think of you: Oh you wanna know?? They want you bad lol. They're kind of naughty ngl when it comes to you, there's a lot of chemistry between you two. They think you're the only one for them, literally no one else compares to you. They fantasize about you A LOT they really can't get enough of you, I mean they want to make you theirs🔗🖤 This may be a forbidden relationship that others don't want to approve of, but this person doesn't care because they want you. They just want your touch and they care so much about you, really romantic and sweet but they have this other side they want to show you too😈 Lol they're 100% obsessed with you, they love every second talking with you and the passion is through the roof honestly.

💌Messages from your crush: I've heard of you, I want to hold you tight, I deserve it, Why would I? You deserve me, It's the start of something new, This wasn't what I had in mind, Extra cards: Bad, Killer, Match, Clench, Diamond, Pluto, Sagittarius, Mercury, 11th house, Air (spicy🙊🖤)

I hope you enjoyed your reading~😉 If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the galaxy emoji🌌! Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💜

Pile 4💿

Sign energy: Order, Psychic, Anger, Side effects, Pride, Sun, Vertex, Neptune, Jupiter, Water, 😡🍰👨‍🎤🧛‍♂️

💗Your crush's energy: I sense someone bold and fiery, theres some leo energy up in here but also getting some aries too~ Your crush is probably very outspoken or at least they seem pretty direct to others, they have a bright smile and very charismatic too. For some of you this person may have trouble controlling their anger, and they may act on impuslve. They might struggle with selfishness or ignoring their problems instead of dealing with them up front, they like attention especially romantically. They are fun loving and carefree, for some of you your crush may seem apathetic or unable to listen to others thoughts and feelings other than their own. But they do care for others, there is a certain amount of empathy they have. Your crush is talented, they have many hobbies and are very creative as well. Music may be significant, also they may like vintage or old style music. They could be a musician or singer. For some of you this may be a spiritually invested person, they may like candles or collecting gemstones. They're a very open person and they prefer to not keep secrets.

🧠What they think of you: You may have done something that bothers them, something about you gets them riled up. You agitate them and but also excite them, they keep coming back for more. For some your crush may pretend to hate you until they get closer to you, they actually like you. They may be confident in you liking them or may already know it, but they could use it to have the upper hand because they don't want to seem vulnerable. They may see you as bossy or controlling but secretly they find it endearing that you care for them. Your crush gets nervous when you enter their mind, They fantasize about moving to a far away land with you... just the two of you🛩🏝 They want you to pay attention to them and give them compliments. They must win your heart, they see you as sweet and fun. Part of them worries if they loose their temper and hurt you or your feelings, they feel anxious about this. They don't want to lose control of themselves, because you make them act on impulse. They want to be better for you, and they won't settle for anything less.

💌Messages from your crush: I can't wait to meet you, You seem so happy, Who cares what people think of us, They're jealous of you, Everyone had their secrets, When will you listen? I'm lost without you, Use your imagination Extra cards: Shoulders, Street, Shine, Wounds, Adventure, 7th house, 4th house, Moon, Mars, 5th house

I hope you enjoyed your reading <3 If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the disk emoji💿! Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr page for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

#tarot #tarot reading #daily tarot #love reading #love tarot reading #astrology reading #love #in love #crush #aesthetic #dreamy #good vibes #pick a pile #tarot pick a card #pick a card #pick a photo

[plutonianeris]

pick a pile: how you secretly intimidate others ⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓

this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️

♱☾pile one☽

“don’t call me baby! im not your baby!”

you intimidate others with your individuality. There’s something about you that’s very weird or kind of quirky. not in the “oh im not like other gwurls 🤪” cringey way. but rather you’re kind of blunt even when you don’t mean to be other people might think that what you say is too harsh or direct. This seems to be some thing that might throw off men as well but at the same time it’s also make some desire you. That free spirit can be seen as something that other people want in their life but it’s not always with the best intentions. It’s kind of like they want you to fulfill something for them. Kind of like to conquer you in a way. But it seems like that literally never happens because instead, you’re literally a tower moment for other people in their lives.

Just by being you, you unconsciously force other people to reflect on certain things in their life. you guys people specifically to reflect on their insecurities, and also their childhood. You could find that people, especially women project onto you. they could look at you and mumble under their breath or too each other like “what the fuck is their problem” or talk about how you think you “know it all”

it seems like people are just really intimidated by your knowledge and what you have to share with other people. you might have some Aquarius placements. Whether what you share with others is topics about religion or spirituality or “taboo” subjects, other people could be thrown off by your words, while at the same time secretly want to hear more.

this pile, gave off a lot of scorpio and/or aries and/ or libra & taurus energy and 8th house/ pluto aspects energy. when I asked about qualities people associate with you I got “ regeneration, suspicion, passion, beautiful, art, experimentation, intelligent, creativity, wisdom.” 🕯️

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

♱☾pile two☽

“no, I’m killing boys.”

people are secretly intimidated by the way you can rise from the ashes and transform completely after going through super traumatic shit. The way you seem to be able to recover from stuff that can be straight out of someone’s nightmare and manage to come out on top is inspiring but also it makes other people feel insecure. pile two, other people seem to think that you somehow just “get lucky” when something really good happens to you. People might think that you didn’t have to work that hard for it. They could secretly send you evil eye and think oh I wish that would’ve happened to me instead..

shit I’m not gonna lie I feel in awe and a little shook reading these cards describing your energy. you are literally an alchemist. You transform everything you touch and you transform after every experience with a lot of grace and harmony. lmfaoo the quote from “what? like its hard” from legally blonde popped up. The thing is that it actually is hard but you’ve been doing it for so long. There’s no other way for you to really function. You manage to continuously strengthen your spirituality over and over again.

and there’s a certain element of privacy that you also keep when it comes to your home life and the space you live in and also in regards to what you’re even thinking. It kind of leaves people in constant speculation of who you are what you actually do or where you even live. but this privacy seems necessary to you, sacred to you actually. Your personality, ego, and the way you view yourself are in a constant state of fluctuation. But never in a way that ends up being super detrimental to you. even when you “mess up” you learn something and get better.

you are someone that is very strong and I don’t wanna say that like in a corny “omg ur saiuuir strong u went through so much :(“ pity way. I literally mean just a very unique kind of perseverance within your spirit where time after time you just can’t be knocked down. And other people wonder about that, but they’re not even close to being able to dissect it & that intimidates them.

You could be someone that has a lot of 12th house or fourth house placements, as well as Jupiter, Sagittarius, or Pluto prominent in the chart. when I asked about qualities/ words that people associate with you, I got “independent, knowledgeable, transformation, roots, subconscious, potential, hope” 🔐

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

♱☾pile three☽

“how do you feel about yourself now stupid motherfucker? you couldve had some pussy.”

people are secretly intimidated by the way you run shit. You have a very straightforward and innovative, and out of the box solution for many of the obstacles you face in life. Similar to pile 2 there is resentment in response to the way you succeed. But when it comes to you it’s more because of the way you do things. people might think “oh it’s not fair that they did it that way and won..” but in reality, you have a unique power being able to bounce back really fast from shit. you don’t mind being someone brand new every single day or changing your habits or routines, or the way you connect with people were your resources very quickly.

In fact, you’re constantly flowing in these spaces of rebirth and attatchment and security. and that intimidate people because they wonder well how is it possible that you’re changing your character and your appearance and your own self all the time and YOU dont care if people label it as a fake or weird. Like I’m not gonna lie this piles giving off someone who has such a range of random aesthetics that ppl r like seeing u as someone who dresses up or is wearing a costume when in reality you just feel transformed by your experiences so frequently.

its giving “im not the person who i was yesterday” so don’t try it today energy. it intimidates people that you’re not ashamed of changing your mind and being like “ well actually I used to like that and now I don’t like it anymore, so can you please respect the boundaries I set up now.”

you TRUST yourself. and not only does that intimidate people but it also makes them MAD. chiron aka trauma, wounds, healing, pain etc popped up, so it doesn’t mean that all your life you had this confidence or ability to listen to yourself and your intuition. If anything you suffered a lot and had a period of time (especially in childhood) were you were taught to not listen to yourself or your intuition. where you were told that if you showed leadership and willpower, and if you used your anger and embraces your anger, that bad things would happen.

But then, finally, you did and you realized that you get so much more from life when you show people how to treat you from the start. And other people want to be able to do that. And you securely inspire them to do that but it’s also a mixture of envy as well thats included in those feelings toward you. oh well. protect your peace! you could be someone that has aries, first house, 8th house and 2nd house placements. 888 also popped up if that has any significance to you. when I asked about qualities/ words that people associate with you, I got “secure, possessive, leader, warrior, loyal.”⚖️

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

© plutonianeris 🕷

#pac #pick a deck #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a pile #astro tarot #astrology #intuitive reading #pick a pile reading #pick an image reading #astrology readings #astro reading #plutonianeris #tarot reading

[chimcess]

Waterlog || pjm (4)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 11.8k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: ANGST, crying, mental health issues, talking about mental health, I'm so soft for them it's actually wild, best boyfriend Jimin, did I say angst????, past drug use, past alcohol addiction, past trauma talk, crying, anxiety, hand holding, touching as a love language, Jimin can't keep his hands to himself, he does try his best though, pining, sexual tension, banter, I love these two A/N: I know we're a couple of weeks late updating, but I've been very busy with moving so I haven't had the energy to write. I did a very quick edit, so this might not be perfect. I'm planning on coming back once I'm in my new place to do a full proofread. Hope you like the update!

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Hand clutching my phone, I sighed. All around me the airport buzzed with life. I had almost forgotten how hectic the Denver Airport was. A few feet away I saw a mother struggling to keep her children together while her husband scrolled on his phone. I must have made some sort of noise, subconsciously voicing my annoyance, because Jimin laughed.

“What’s going on, gran?” He teased, voice light. “See a couple of youngins on your lawn?”

I scoffed, tearing my eyes away from the family. “Just a shitty husband ignoring his children.”

He hissed, sucking in air through his teeth, “The worst kind of dude. Are you alright?”

Softening, I finally spotted my luggage on the conveyor belt. Twisting my torso, I did a light stretch and then quickly snatched the heavy bag up. “Not too anxious, right?”

He had been very worried about letting me come home for a visit. When I had originally brought it up he offered himself up for the job, but I was not a fan of that idea. My friends would definitely bring up our date and I did not want to deal with the awkwardness that would cause. Especially since we had yet to go on it. That would not matter to Hoseok, however, and the teasing would have been endless. Better to spare Jimin from their wrath for just a little while longer.

“I’m cool,” I replied, softening. “Just got my stuff from baggage claim. I’m going to let you go so I can call Andy.”

“Okay bug. See you in a few days.”

Harper had recently started calling me that, forgetting my real name and not caring enough to ask for it. Eloise had tried to scold her for it, but I told her I did not mind it. It caught on with Cameron not too long after that, and soon the entire Park family had started using the little nickname. Jimin thought it was adorable from the beginning but had only started using it after our talk the other night.

I laughed, “I’m going to call you tonight.”

“Aw,” I knew he had that stupid smile on his face. “Miss me that much?”

“Someone needs to make sure you’re staying out of trouble,” I replied, a confident pep in my step I had not had in years. “But yes, I do miss you.”

There was a pregnant pause. 

“I miss you too.”

I could feel my heart melting. I was still getting used to our new dynamic. On most days we were strictly business, and were able to set aside the very large, very apparent elephant in the room. It was not until we had finished with work that those roles dropped, and we were able to just be us. 

Ever since my confession in the car Jimin spoke a hell of a lot more. Apparently, he had a hard time keeping his feelings to himself and chose to talk a little less in order to avoid a slip up. He wanted to give us both a little bit of time to get to know one another before springing his crush on me.

“Going soft, kid?” Playing things off with humor was Jimin’s thing, but it had slowly started to rub off on me. “It’s only two days.”

“I know,” He pouted. “Call your friend. It’s cold and you’ll get sick.”

“Hey,” I cut the teasing tone I had, “You’re not upset I came here by myself, right?”

“No,” He chuckled with an unmistakable fondness. “I’m just messin’ with you. I’m not ready to meet your friends and you need some alone time. We’re good, I promise.”

I sighed in relief, “Okay. Good. I’m going to go now. Talk to you later?”

“Call me when you can,” He replied, voice light.

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye, bug.”

I was disappointed to hear the line go dead but knew I could aimlessly walk around this airport all day if given the chance, so long as he was there with me. Trying to get my thoughts back on track, I sent a text to Andy asking if she was here yet. If not, I was already making plans to call Jimin back.

Andy: I’m parked in 5 near C Gates

Andy: Be careful

Andy: Saw a lady almost get hit by a car just now

Me: See you in a sec

Me: Should I be worried?

I knew she was trying to make a joke, but car accident punchlines never went over all that well with me. Even if I knew the chances of that happening to me were almost zero, I really did not want to have a panic attack in the airport parking lot. 

Andy: Not at all. I’m so sorry for even saying anything. I can come meet you at the doors if you want.

Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Sigh of relief. I was fine. 

Me: I appreciate you

Me: Is babygirl here?

Dani would help the spike of anxiety dissipate. The girl was fearless and was sure to be distracting enough to keep me from paying attention to the oncoming traffic. I suddenly wished that Jimin was here. He always knew what to do.

Andy: Jin and I are weak

Andy: We let her play hooky

Bobbing and weaving through bodies, I tossed my phone into my purse and made my way out of the airport. The arrivals station was packed, and I would need to take the automated train to where Andrea was parked. It was my least favorite part about this airport, but it beat Dallas-Fort Worth by a landslide. I had gotten lost in that airport more times than I could count. 

Three minutes later I was getting out of the train and stepping into C Gates. I could smell Auntie Anne’s and felt my mouth begin to water. Checking my clock, I decided it would not hurt to make a quick spot for lunch. Andy would appreciate it and I knew Dani loved their pretzel dog. 

There was a little less traffic in C Gates. More of the expensive airlines let out here, and all you could see were business professionals pacing back and forth. A family on vacation bumped into me while I was waiting in line, and I almost gave up my spot when their toddler started screaming. 

“No, no,” His mother insisted, her hair a mess on the top of her head. “Between the girls and my mom, we’ll be here all day. Go ahead, sweetie.”

Two little girls danced around me as we waited, the line moving at a snail's pace due to the airport being understaffed. They asked me questions incessantly, and while their mother had tried her best to keep them in line, I told her I was fine with the extra attention. I loved kids and the girls were harmless. The boy in her arms kept repeating “pizza” and soon an elderly woman joined them. 

If the girls talked a lot, they had nothing on grandma. Not only did she never shut her mouth, she was loud and obnoxiously laughing every few seconds. The boy was quick to beg to be in her arms and mom got a break. She was back to attempting to corral the girls, but again they did not really listen. 

“They’re only like this when my mom’s around,” She sighed, frustrated and tired. “We’re meeting up with their father and they’re all a little restless.”

“It’s no bother,” I lied. The girls really were not that bad. Just a couple of four-year-olds having fun. The only person who was really getting on my nerves was her mother, but I was not about to say that. “Better to get it out now than in the car, right?”

She cracked a tired smile, “Right.”

Finally, it was my turn to order. The young girl behind the counter gave me an award-winning smile while another young blonde was in the back getting all of the orders out.

“Hi, welcome to Auntie Anne’s. How can I help you today?”

“Can I get one original pretzel, one cinnamon sugar pretzel, and a pretzel dog combo with a lemonade and cheese,” Glancing behind me, I sighed. “Throw in a pizza pretzel, two orders of pretzel nuggets, and whatever else the family behind me wants.”

She smiled, blue eyes twinkling prettily in the bright lights. Turning around I waved the mother over and told her to get something for her and her mother. She put up a small fight, but eventually gave in when she realized I had already put our orders together.

“Thank you so much,” I thought she might burst into tears when my card was approved. “You really didn’t need to do that.”

I shrugged, “It was nothing. Have a nice vacation.”

Walking to the pickup area, my order was already waiting for me. With nothing more than a simple wave, I left the dysfunctional family behind. The grandmother’s loud thank you seemed to echo off of the airport walls, but it was a little less grating now that I knew I would never hear it again. 

Andy threw herself at me when I finally made it outside, little Dani wrapping her arms around my legs with squeals of delight louder than her mother’s. Taking her pretzel, Andy gave me a fat, wet kiss on the cheek and told Dani she could eat in the car. 

“How’s gymnastics, girlie?” I asked the little girl once we were in the car. “Still kicking ass?”

“No,” She laughed. “I quit, like, forever ago. Appa put me in ballet classes.”

I gave Andy a look. The red head rolled her eyes, fixing me with a knowing look. I had been telling Jin to put her in dance for years.

“It’s been two weeks and she’s already trying to talk him into figure skating.”

“You’re a little hustler, huh?” I reached into the back, squeezing her knee. Dani giggled, angling her body away from mine. She was very ticklish. “Keep at it. You know your dad’s a sucker.”

Dani laughed, “My vovó says the same thing.”

We listened to Olivia Rodrigo on our way to the Kim house. Hoseok and Matilda had planned a huge coming back party for me, and from what it sounded like, I was going to meet Tilly’s new boyfriend. 

“Anything I need to know about Max?” I asked.

Andy was almost as in the dark about the guy as I was but was able to tell me he was a tattoo artist from California. The two of them met at Frank’s bookstore and by the end of their conversation Max had managed to get her out to dinner and in his bed. It was a whirlwind romance, one that made me feel uneasy about its foundation, but I was still obligated to be happy for my friend. They could be soulmates for all I knew, and I was not about to judge anybody else for their version of a first date.

“I don’t want to talk about tattoo guy anymore,” Andy whined playfully, turning up the radio when “Good 4 U” came on. “I need to know more about your little boyfriend.”

I groaned, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

This was why I was so adamant Jimin stayed away. We had yet to have a real talk about what we were, choosing to wait for our first date to iron out those details, but no one in my circle seemed to understand. All they heard was the word date and suddenly wedding bells started going off. 

“Stop deflecting. We both know he’s your boyfriend, official or not,” She laughed, stealing looks at her daughter in the rearview. “What’s he like?”

It was a hard question to answer. On the one hand, I felt like I knew him better than anybody else, but I was self aware enough to know I didn’t. His body language, the way he looked when he beat his best time, and all of his preferred gear were seared into my mind. The movies he liked, his favorite albums, and all of the best tv shows ever made. He went to college. He was the sweetest, kindest, most understanding person I had ever met, and yet… he still felt far away. The shadows that oftentimes clouded his vision were still a mystery to me, and when he came into practice with a lost look on his face, I felt helpless. I knew him and yet I didn’t.

“He’s quiet,” I finally landed on. “Very nice. Always willing to help other people out if he can. You’d like him.”

Andrea scoffed, “That’s it? The first guy you’ve dated in years and all you can tell me is I’d like him?”

“We’re still getting to know each other,” I sighed. “What do you want to know?”

We spent the rest of the car ride going over the last two months' worth of pining. I told her about Fiona, Jimin’s family, and all of my new friends. She almost pissed herself laughing when I told her about the night he asked me out, making so many Hoseok and Tilly jokes I had a difficult time focusing on the story. Andrea seemed to be finished with her interrogation when we pulled up at her house. 

Dani ran to the front door, her excitement about the party making any discomfort I had disappear. It was hard to feel uncomfortable with her around. Taking my hand in hers, the little girl shifted her weight from foot to foot, shouting at her mom to hurry up, and opening the front door anyway. Andy told her to calm down, and I just chuckled and went along with it.

The living room was filled with all of my favorite people, a large ‘welcome home’ sign hanging on the large, backwall. Underneath it was a huge table covered in food, a cake in the middle of it, and I had a feeling Sarah made it. Both her and Frank were the first people to notice me, their faces lighting up, and I let go of Dani’s hand in favor of embracing the elderly couple. The rest of the party comers erupted their voices loud and filled with love as they took turns passing me around. 

“Missed you, Otter,” Hoseok murmured in the crook of my neck, hands secured around my waist.

“Missed you more,” I replied, releasing him and catching Tilly. “Jeez, girl. Trying to kill me?”

“Come meet Max,” She replied, dragging me away from Hoseok.

Max was a tall, lanky guy with black hair that fell down his back. His clothes were on the baggier side, all black, and I recognized the band on his t-shirt from the shit Matilda liked to listen to in the car. He smiled at me, and I was surprised to see him rocking adult braces. He introduced himself, his voice deep and warm, and shook my hand. They were baby soft and covered in tattoos. 

“It’s great to see you,” I replied, genuinely meaning it. If I had to picture a guy more perfect for Tilly, I would come up empty handed. “Thanks for coming.”

He flushed, impossibly pale skin turning a bright shade of red reminding me of Jimin. 

“Anything for Mattie,” He replied.

Huh, he had his own nickname for her and everything. I would need to hang out with Max more before I could say if I liked him or not, but so far, I had a good feeling. Andrea’s worries seemed a bit silly now. They really liked each other, and Tilly’s heartbreaking, dimpled smile made me feel more confident in her partner. They would be just fine. 

The party was fun, and I ate more spinach and artichoke dip than was healthy. Hoseok and I talked about my afterschool visit tomorrow. The boys had a swim meet Saturday and the two of us were hoping we could tag team in order to iron out any issues they had been having. I was being placed in charge of the freshmen while Hoseok made sure the other kids were feeling confident and ready for the meet.

"Let's party!" Frank boomed, lifting a beer into the air.

I laughed, "Be careful, old timer. Don't want you to hurt yourself."

I thought of Jimin again. That sounded like something he would say. Surrounded by the people I loved, I laughed hard and partied harder. The plates of food came one right after the other, and I was happy that I still had a place here. Falling back into my step, I fit seamlessly back into the fold.

"Dance with me," Hoseok demanded, tipsy and red-faced.

"It's your toes," I replied, taking his head and letting him take the lead.

The other couples were already dancing and hooped and hollered as I awkwardly followed the steps. I was not always a bad dancer but lost some of my rhythm in the accident. Hoseok never minded and let me step on his feet without a single complaint.

"You look happy," He commented, spinning me around.

I smiled, "I am."

He smiled back, wincing when I stomped down on his toes again. I apologized, but he just held my hand a little tighter and kept moving. I hummed along to the song, filled with joy. He spun me again, and finally let me go when I slammed into Jin.

"Go get some cake or something," He laughed. "You're too dangerous to be out here."

I rolled my eyes, "I tried to tell you. It's your fault you don't listen."

"Don't need you anyway. I have enough swag for the both of us."

I watched, thoroughly amused from the sidelines, as he moon-walked around the living room.

I left just before midnight after staying behind to help Andy and Jin clean up. The others left a few hours before to get back to Denver at a decent time. My house looked the same as always, dark and empty, but I could tell the landscapers had been around. The grass was recently cut and edged.

The silence inside was deafening. I had always known my place was too big for one person, but after spending so much time in my little she-shed at the Andersons’ house, everything here just felt excessive. Tossing my keys in the bowl beside the door, I wiped my eyes and decided to just head to bed. I would only be here for three days. I would be back in Saline before I knew it.

Dragging my body upstairs, this sudden depression-filled fatigue made my shoulders feel ten times heavier. A chilling, almost insidious, hollowness began to spread across my body. I knew this feeling all too well and it made me feel pathetic. Could I not be on my own anymore? Had I really grown that attached to my life in Michigan? Finally getting into my bedroom, I realized that I had.

Saline was perfect. Living in Colorado Springs has always bothered me. The people here held more traditional values and making friends was difficult. I had Andy and Jin, but they were both very busy people. Andrea was a full-time nurse, Jin’s schedule was somehow even more erratic than his wife’s, and when they were off, they wanted to spend time with Dani. I was lucky if I saw them once every two weeks. 

Hoseok, Tilly, and Minho all lived in Denver, and while I saw them more often due to the meetings with Frank and Sarah dragging me into the city, it was not like we hung out every time I was out there. Days would go by with me speaking at all, and most of my weekends were spent in bed sleeping. Working at the school helped, but I would never claim anyone from the swim team to be a friend. I was not in the habit of befriending children.

Living in Saline was different. Jimin was always there to make me laugh, and when he wasn’t, I had people like Taehyung and Sam to keep me company. Giselle was young, but we got along so well I often forgot about the difference in age between the two of us. Megan and Yoongi were Michigan’s own version of Andy and Jin, and I could see myself becoming good friends with them given enough time. No one had kids, no one was too busy trying to keep up with crazy expenses, and I could find a little house away from the rest of the world to spend my life in.

I thought of the Parks, a family who I had come to love more than I thought was possible, and the Andersons who took me in and always tried to make me feel comfortable. Eloise and her kindness. Luna and Cameron. All of them. I loved and adored every single one of them, and it was then that I finally let myself really think about what I wanted.

Did I want to come back here after I was finished with the season? Did I really want this massive house if it meant I had no one to share it with? No, I decided. Stripping out of my clothes, the numbness was being replaced with a different strange feeling. It felt suspiciously like hope. Excitement came to me so rarely it was foreign and odd, but nice all the same. Jittery, I took my phone out of my pants pocket.

“Hello?” Jimin’s voice was scratchy when he finally picked up.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “Did I wake you up?”

“Yes, but it’s okay,” I could hear him shuffling around in his bed. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, climbing into bed. Then, without thinking, I blurted, “I think I want to move to Michigan.”

I held my breath as I waited for his response. There was no telling how this conversation would go, but I was hopeful. Even if this whole date thing did not go very well, I was positive that we would be able to move past it with a little bit of time. We worked well together and if he was comfortable with it then we could continue working together. Regardless, there was always coaching at a school.

“Like, permanently?”

I nodded but after a moment of silence remembered he could not see me.

“Yeah.”

My stomach started to churn. As the silence on the other end began to stretch, the excitement I felt before faded. Even if I said Jimin and I could get past a potentially awkward break up of sorts, I would not pretend that the thought did not make me physically ill. We would never be the same if that happened. It would be something to think about if it came to pass before the Olympics was over.

“Did something happen?” He finally asked, and I could hear the genuine worry in his tone. “Are you okay?”

The fear shifted to hurt, irritation, and anger, making my eyebrows knit together.

“I’m fine,” I could not keep the bite from my voice. It was petty and wrong of me, but his insinuation that I was not in my right mind was insulting. It made me feel like a child. “Just- forget I said anything. I don’t know what I’m even talking about.”

“Don’t do that,” His steady calmness made me even angrier. “I’m only asking you because it came out of the blue, not because I’m not happy with the idea.”

Now I just felt silly. Here I was making these small revelations, waking him up from his sleep, and then getting snippy because he did not respond the way I had wanted him to. Ugh, I wasn’t even his girlfriend yet and I’m acting like Darcy. A shiver went down my spine. That was an insult above all others.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, the attitude from a few seconds before gone as quickly as it came. “I got defensive for no reason. Sorry.”

He chuckled, the sound barely audible over the phone.

“I forgive you. Now, why do you want to pack your life up for good?”

That made me laugh. It was a sad, pitiful sound. One that did not hold my usual spunk. One I don’t think Jimin had ever heard before. It was impossible to feel sad when he was around.

“I forgot how quiet my house is,” I admitted softly. “I love my friends, but I think coming back just reminded me of how easily I was able to fall back into the routine of it all. Jin and Andy are parents, Tilly has a new boyfriend, and Hoseok and Minho are always so busy with their own lives that I don’t see any of them as often as I would like to.”

Turning on my side, I blinked back a few tears.

“It might sound stupid, but I really do love Saline. I like how busy I am and all of my friends. I bought this place with the hopes of kids and a dog one day, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen, and now it’s just rooms collecting dust. I just-” I let a tear fall, my emotions starting to bubble over. “I don’t like how lonely it feels out here.”

“Doesn’t sound like you like it there. Have you always felt like this?” He asked.

I shook my head, the tears free falling in between sniffles and shaky breaths.

“Not always. Ever since Namjoon died things have been weird. There was a point when I felt suffocated because no one would leave me alone, and then one day everything resumed, and I just got left behind. It was like I woke up and two years just passed me by.”

Jimin comforted me while I cried, telling me how much he hated to hear me so upset, while I worked on calming down. There had been a time in my life when I was not so emotional, but therapy had opened up a whole new side of myself I didn't know existed. Rubbing my face, I sniffled and sank deeper into my mattress. For now, the waterworks had stopped.

“You were recovering,” He soothed. “Your body needed time to heal, and you were traumatized. I don’t think anyone can blame you for zoning out for a bit.”

I hummed, “I know. Doesn’t make it easier to swallow.”

“I know how you feel. When I pulled out of the Olympics last time there was a part of me that felt like a huge failure, but my dad was there to help get my head back on straight. He doesn’t seem like it, but he’s a really great shoulder to cry on.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” My voice was like sandpaper. “James is the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”

I felt heavy. Worn. Used. My eyes begged for me to shut them, but we were just getting back into safer waters, and I didn’t want to burst the bubble. I yawned, covering my mouth and hoping Jimin could not hear the sound. He had gone quiet.

“Can I ask you something?” Jimin’s voice broke through the comfortable silence that had formed around us. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Shoot,” I forced myself to smile.

“What happened to Namjoon?”

I closed my eyes. This was something I knew would come up sooner or later. My lip wobbled uncontrollably as the second wave of tears crashed over me. I hated talking about this, but I knew it was going to come up sooner or later. Jimin deserved the truth, and honestly, I wanted to tell him. Being vulnerable with someone felt good. Being vulnerable with Jimin was divine. He was always so ready and willing to go along with things, listening and watching my every move, and trying his best to understand me. It was refreshing. It was nice. It was familiar.

“Was he in the accident with you?” He asked and his voice was so, so gentle. 

“Yeah,” I croaked, finally finding my voice. “I went out with some of my friends and got pretty drunk. I was tired and ready to go home, but my ride didn’t want to go home yet. So, I called Joon.”

I sucked in a deep, loud breath. Jimin told me I could stop, that I didn’t owe him anything, but I ignored him. This wasn’t about owing him. This was about letting the guy I liked get to know me. This story was a part of who I was, as fucked up as that may sound, and I wanted him to get to know this facet of my life as deeply as he knew the present day one. 

“Anyway,” I continued. “He offered to come and pick me up. Twenty minutes later I’m getting into his car and we’re on our way home. We’d just gotten engaged and bought our first house together- things were perfect. I had never been happier.

“We ended up taking the long way home because of an accident on the interstate. It was my idea, and Namjoon had a knack for going along with whatever I wanted. We were only two minutes away from the house when we got hit.”

I took a few deep breaths and wiped my face. Jimin was quiet on the other end. After a minute or two, I jumped back into the story.

“There was a four-way intersection around the corner from our place. Our light was green when we drove up. I don't think he thought to check if there was another car coming. He never even saw the truck. He, uh, died on impact.”

“Jesus,” Jimin breathed.

“The other guy was drunk as hell behind the wheel. Not paying attention. Funny thing is, he was the only person who didn’t get critically injured. Just a broken arm and a concussion. He wrapped our car around a light pole. My leg was pinned between the car and the light, and the airbag is what caused the brain injury.”

Jimin cursed under his breath, “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry that happened to you.”

“Yeah,” I gritted out. “Me too.”

He let me cry for a little while, saying over and over again how sorry he was and how he wished he was in Colorado with me. I did not have anything to say to him. It felt like my chest had been ripped open and my heart was on full display. 

I never questioned how quickly we went from barely talking, to joking around, to sitting up late at night on the phone talking about life. It just happened. Clutching my phone in my hand, I let out a deep breath and held back any more tears from falling. I never said it, but I wished he was here, too.

“Hey,” His voice was gentle when he spoke, so fragile and sweet, that I had to force down the sobs threatening to come out. “I just want to say I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier. You wanting to move here is probably the best thing I’ve heard all fucking year, but I just didn’t want to sway your decision.”

Sniffling, I tried to tell him I wasn’t upset, but he shut me down almost immediately.

“Let me finish,” His voice did not leave room for argument. “I know I don’t act like I’m insecure, but I am. I can be selfish and self-centered, and I’ve always had to really work on those parts of myself.”

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything,” I mumbled, curling into a ball beneath my blankets. 

“Like I said, I can be a very selfish person,” He sighed. “There was this part of my brain just wanting to hear you say you were coming here and staying with me for forever. I didn’t want that to take over the narrative. And- no offense, but if you did move all the way out here just to date me, I think I’d be a little creeped out honestly.”

I snorted. Hearing that he felt the need to explain any of that to me felt like a small win, even if it did make an alarm go off in my head. It took courage to be that open and honest with another person, especially someone who just cried their eyes out. His compassion and understanding never failed to amaze me, and I was grateful he trusted me enough to let me into his mind for once. Still, it did not make the creep comment any less funny.

“Don’t laugh,” He whined, unable to stop himself from chuckling. “I’m being serious.”

“So do you want me to be a creepy stalker or not?” I joked, hoping to lighten up the mood. “Make up your mind, kid.”

“I think I just want you to be yourself,” I melted. “That’s been working out just fine so far. I mean, if you are a creepy stalker, you managed to get me to like you.”

“Mission accomplished,” I breathed, still reeling from his sweet words. “You better watch out, 007. There’s a new spy in town.”

“So, I’m Bond and you’re Joe Goldburg?”

“Exactly,” My cheeks hurt from how much I was smiling. “Penn Badgley would be a decent James Bond. He was really great in Margin Call.”

I bit my lip, trying to suppress my smile.

“Holy shit, you actually watched it?”

Margin Call was one of Jimin's favorite movies from 2011. He kept a very large notebook filled with all of the movies he’s ever seen, along with ratings, and if he should ever watch them again. He went through it one day and came across the action film, rewatched it, and then spent most of the day talking my ear off about how great it is. 

“Someone I know was very passionate about it, and it managed to pique my curiosity.”

Jimin sighed, but I could not tell what emotion was behind it. Definitely was not anger or frustration. Not sadness either. 

 “What time are you getting back on Sunday?” He asked, and I could definitely hear the affectionate tone his voice had taken on.

“Um,” I thought about it for a moment. “Six, I think.”

“PM?” 

“Yeah,” I curled up under my blankets. It was beginning to get really cold inside, but I did not want to get up to turn the heat on. “I have to double check my flight times, but I know it’s somewhere around there. Why? What’s up?”

“I know we already made plans for next week, but I was thinking I could pick you up from the airport and we could go out.”

My face grew hot, “I don’t think I’ll be dressed for a date.”

“You always look great,” He assured me.

I laughed, nervous and embarrassed, “Thanks.”

We had originally planned our first date to be the weekend after I got back. Jimin was adamant about giving me an experience, and I had been more than happy to indulge him a little. He was just so cute when he got excited. We were running on a limited timeline right now, though, since he had an upcoming swimming fundraiser with Swim Across America in Allendale. The team was raising money for cancer research, and I was very excited to be there to show my support.

Moving the date up meant we would have less to do next weekend, unless Jimin still wanted to keep our plans in place, but it meant we could focus on the fundraiser instead of trying to juggle a date at the same time. 

“I hate to go, but I’m really tired,” Jimin yawned. Pulling my phone away from my ear I was startled by how late it was. “I’ll text you in the morning, okay?”

I apologized for keeping him up so late. “Promise I won’t do it again.”

He hummed, already beginning to fall asleep, “Don’t mind. You’re always welcome to bother me in the middle of the night.”

“Night Jimin,” I whispered, blood pumping.

“Night bug.”

There was one thing I missed about Colorado- how quickly the snow melted. Michigan was seeing more snow as each day went by, but here in the mountains they would not start seeing the worst of it until the spring. For the first time in a month, I was able to forgo my large, puffy jacket in favor of a long sleeve and jeans. Jimin found my excitement over this endearing, sending a slew of heart-eye emojis in response to the mirror photo I sent him.

It was almost the end of the day when I pulled into the high school parking lot. The entire front office erupted in excitement when I walked through the front doors, hugs and well wishes overwhelming me. Sandra, the receptionist, could have talked all day if I let her, and after signing in, I politely told them all I needed to meet up with Coach Jung. I lied about stopping by on my way out and only felt a little bad about it. They were way too much for me.

“They’re going to be so excited to see you,” Hoseok mumbled, a smile stretching across his face as loud teenage boys got closer and closer to the pool house. 

“I’m happy to see them, too,” I replied. “Should we wait until they change to make the grand reveal?”

He shook his head. “Would you rather hug now or when they’re in speedos.”

I shivered, disgusted by the mental image.

“Thanks for putting that in my head, you sick fuck.”

Choking on his spit, Hoseok bent over, laughing so hard he started to screech. His laughter reminded me of a ghost's wail and was contagious. We were both so wrapped up in our little bubble we did not notice the doors opening.

“Coach?”

Wiping my cheeks, I caught my breath and made eye contact with Jordan. Baby blue eyes widened while a large, dimple smile overtook his face. Behind him, Gabriel announced that I was here, and the room was filled with excitement. I was not much of a hugger, but I was happy to greet each boy with one. Gabriel hadn’t stopped speaking since catching sight of me and had a few accidental slip ups about how much he disliked Coach Jung.

Hoseok had alluded to that being their main issue right now. The boys were having a hard time adjusting to a new face and missed me dearly. To his credit, Hoseok admitted that he was still getting used to the coaching thing and made a couple mistakes his first few days here. He had made it a point to apologize to them for being a dick, but the teens hadn’t forgotten or forgiven him for his snappy attitude. Especially the two oldest.

“When are you coming back?” Marcus asked. 

I smiled sadly, “I’ll be out for the rest of the year.” The tall boy deflated, sending a nasty look Hoseok’s way. “But,” I was quick to fix my mistake, “I’m planning on making trips to assist Coach Jung throughout the year. I wanted to be here for your last meet, but something came up.”

That something had been Jimin’s birthday, and I was not going to risk missing his party.

Regardless, Marcus and the team were very happy to hear they would be seeing me. 

“I promise I’ll be here for graduation, too,” I added.

Gabriel offered to give me one of his tickets and I gratefully accepted the extended offer. We stood there and talked for at least fifteen minutes before I finally told them to get changed and into the water. Without protest, all twelve of them went to the locker room.

“You know,” Hoseok chuckled. “You're going to have to teach me how you manage to do that.”

“Cinnamon buns from Mountain Shadows,” I put on my whistle and grabbed my clipboard from my duffel bag. “They’ll be eating out of your hand in no time.”

The team was glowing. Jordan stood in the middle of the boys, a large smile on his face, as he praised them for giving the meet their best effort. Having another win under their belt, all of them were buzzing with excitement at a chance at nationals. They only needed to win three more competitions to qualify. 

For the first time since I arrived, the icy contempt they held for Hoseok seemed to thaw. It brought a smile to my face. If I did not come back next year, I had a feeling the boys would be getting along much better. 

“What’s for dinner?” Marcus asked, looking at me for an answer.

“Coach said something about burgers,” I replied, gesturing towards Hoseok. “You should ask him though. I could be wrong.”

Gabriel chimed in, “Yeah, we’re going to Bingo.”

My mouth watered. Bingo Burger was one of the best spots in town. Their fries were hot and crispy, and I loved their shakes. Mulling over my options for dinner, I always found myself stuck between the Gone Shroomin’ Burger and the Happy Hippie. For a vegan burger, that thing was really fucking good. Then again, a thick, juicy beef patty smothered in bacon, cheese, and mushrooms would hit the spot. Indecisive and bored, I fiddled around with my phone and somehow ended up texting Jimin.

Me: Gone Shroomin’ or Happy Hippie?

The noise on the bus was just in the background now and easy to tune out. Hoseok was laughing loudly with the freshmen while the two seniors were in a quiet conversation in the seat in front of me. Marcus and his girlfriend broke up recently. I stopped paying attention once my phone vibrated.

Jimin: No idea what that means

Jimin: Gone Shroomin I guess

I bit my lip, suppressing a smile.

Me: We’re going for celebration burgers

Me: The boys won and Hobi is treating them since we’re out in Pueblo and not getting back to the Springs until after dinner.

Jimin: Speaking of food… I was thinking we could get some BBQ on Sunday

“Y/N!” Hoseok called, making me look up from my phone. “Tell your boyfriend you’ll call him later.”

“We need you to be the tiebreaker,” Twig chirped.

“What for?” I sighed, glancing down at my screen.

Jimin: Have you been to Union Rec yet? It’s BBQ and a taqueria

Me: No but I’m always down for a burrito

“Do mermaids have gills?” Twig asked.

Fully pulled out of my phone, I flipped it around and gave the boys my undivided attention. 

“Of course not. They’re mammals, so it would be a blowhole.”

Hoseok clapped his hands, “Thank you! That’s exactly what I said.”

Sliding further down in the booth, I closed my eyes and drowned them out again. Colorado’s air was so dry and crisp I was having to get used to the altitude change. I missed how wet and cold Michigan was. Smiling to myself, I remembered how much I hated it when I first landed. So much has changed…

Shuffling, I made myself more comfortable. We were only thirty minutes out from the Springs now, and we would be at Bingos right on time for Hoseok’s reservations. Feeling myself growing tired, I sunk even further into the booth. Eyes heavy, I let them slip closed, and slept for the rest of the bus ride.

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, I smoothed down my skirt for the millionth time. The gray sweater I had thrown on seemed too casual now that I was looking at myself, but I did not know what else to do. It was a laundry day, but when I went to put my clothes in the dryer it refused to turn on. Violet said they needed a new one anyway, but that did little to improve my mood. The pretty red dress I wanted to wear was soaking wet and hanging from the shower rod to dry. I played with the skin on my lip, willing the black and gray outfit to somehow look nicer. On the other side of the phone, Andy sighed.

“You look fine,” She insisted, running her hand through her auburn hair. “Do a cute hairstyle and put on a nice pair of earrings, and you’ll be golden.”

“You don’t think it’s too plain?” I had asked her this five times now, and each time I got that same reply. “I mean, do I look like I’m going to a funeral?”

“The guy has seen you in sweats and no makeup and still wanted to take you out. Do you honestly think he cares about the color of your outfit?”

She had a point. Finally deciding to cave in and give up on my obsession, I took her advice to do something with my hair. A few of the strands were beginning to look silver, and my sideburns were looking paler every day, but after Hoseok told me he was starting to see a few grays, I decided to leave them be. If we were both going to be silver foxes, I liked the idea of doing it together.

“Are you wearing heels?”

“No,” I shook my head. I picked my phone up and went to my bedroom to find a pair of earrings. “It’s too icy. Silver or gold?”

She thought about it for a second, her face scrunched up cutely. 

“Silver.”

I landed on some thick, gun-metal hoops. They matched the color of the sweater perfectly and did not take away from my face too much. I had spent too much time on looking this nice to have an accessory dominate. Andy was happy with my choice.

I had gotten back a little earlier than I originally thought I would, and asked Jimin if it was okay that I meant him at the restaurant out here instead of making him drive all the way to Detroit to pick me up. He had put up a bit of a fight about it but relented when I said I was hoping we could hang out at his house after dinner. I said I wanted to get myself home, but I was really trying to see how bad the drive was from his place to mine. The thought of spending more time in his space made me feel like a teenage girl.

“How’s ballet going?” I slipped on a pair of black tights. It was freezing outside, and I wanted to have as many layers on as possible. “Has Dani made any progress in getting her figure skating career started?”

Andrea laughed but said that her daughter was getting closer to her goal every day. Jin was weak and did anything the little girl wanted if he could. This was the only issue they were both bull-headed about. Jin wanted to teach her to be responsible and follow through on things, and Dani was tired of preparing for figure skating. She wanted to be on the ice and her dad was afraid of pushing her too far too young. I was most definitely a team Dani instigator, and it was a point of contention between Seokjin and I.

“What did you think of Max?”

I smiled. That boy was definitely a character. The gang and I had a nice dinner before I left Colorado, and Tilly brought along Mr. Tattoo guy. He was quiet and when he did talk, he always had something completely random and out of the blue to say. He fascinated me and when everyone started huddling in their own groups to chat, I turned most of my attention to the new guy. 

He was a sweetheart, and it was a nice change of pace getting to know him. He hated being called Peter (his first name), went to college for nuclear engineering, and became a tattoo artist on a whim. A buddy of his wanted a new piece, paid Max to draw it, and trusted the guy with a tattoo gun. He was an apprentice in San Francisco for three years before moving to Denver to open up his own shop. For all of his eccentricity, he was very successful and down to Earth.

“He’s good for her,” I finally replied, zipping up my Doc Martens, I checked the time. I would have to leave soon. “I’m just happy there’s no drama between her and Hobi.”

It had been a year since they officially broke up, but I knew they fell into bed with one another a handful of times since then. Hoseok and I had talked about their weird relationship on one too many drunken nights, the swimmer the only person able I liked enough to force a glass of whiskey down. Tilly knew that I knew and would vent to me sometimes. They loved each other, knew one another better than anybody else, and it was easy to fall back into each other since we were in the same circle.

 I doubted Andy knew anything about that, we tried our best to keep her out of the loop, but she always said that they still had lingering feelings. I hoped Hoseok was handling this news well. He seemed fine, happy even, so I just rolled with it. If he had a problem, I was sure I would have heard about it by now.

“Speaking of Hoseok,” The humorous tone in Andy’s voice caught my full attention. “Apparently, Jin saw him at The Rabbit Hole with some blonde girl before you got into town. He just remembered to tell me last night.”

This was news to me. Wracking my brain, I tried to figure out if he had brought up a date, or even a person he might be interested in, but nothing came up. Shrugging, I let it go. It was probably just some girl he picked up at the bar. Still, that would be an expensive date.

“He hasn’t told me anything about that,” I murmured.

“Might be why he’s not bothered by new boyfriend.”

I laughed, “Or it could be that they’ve moved on.”

“Oh, please,” She pulled a face, eyes rolling to the back of her head. “We all know that’s not true. At least, not until recently.”

“Regardless,” I sighed, grabbing my purse and walking out of the front door. “It’s none of our business. If they’re happy that’s all that matters.”

Andy raspberried, “Boo. I hate it when you’re all mature and adult-like.”

“And right,” I joked. “Don’t forget about that part.”

Locking up my little house, I made my way through the Anderson’s. Violet was watching the Golden Girls on the couch while Calvin was reading a book beside her. It was a sweet scene that made me smile. I wanted what they had. 

I gave them a smile and wave as I passed by. Violet returned it in full, her eyes kind and gentle, before going back to her show. Calvin put his book down and asked what time I was planning on coming back. He wanted to keep an eye out for my car.

“Around midnight,” I replied, moving my phone away from my mouth. Andrea was rambling about the new doctor on staff. I trusted her disdain enough to know he was a huge dick. “See you two tomorrow.”

“Be safe out there,” He replied, going back to his copy of The Catcher and the Rye.

Andy and I were on the phone for the entire car ride into Ann Arbor. I enjoyed hearing her voice, the small distraction welcome when I felt my anxiety spike. Thankfully it was a Sunday night, and the streets were somewhat empty.

Once I got into the downtown area, I drowned out her voice completely. Andrea never minded. She just kept talking like I hadn’t stepped out of whatever conversation we were just having. Never got mad when I kept asking her to repeat herself either. She was a wonderful friend to me, and I was grateful to have her in my life. If I moved to Saline, she would be the person I missed the most.

I still hadn’t talked to anyone else about the possibility of moving. I was not sure how they would react, and I needed to have my mind made up before giving any of them the news. While I knew Andy and Jin would be supportive, and Tilly and Minho wouldn’t really care all that much (it just gave them an excuse to vacation in Michigan), it was Hoseok I was most on the fence about.

With him it could go either way. He would either be really happy and supportive or call me crazy. It came from a place of love, and I respected his opinion more than any of the others, so I had to be completely sure of myself before getting into something like that with him. If he thought for a second I was rushing into things he would go into overprotective, big brother mode and kill all of my excitement. He might even be able to change my mind if he fought hard enough. 

Pulling up to the restaurant, I was impressed by the sheer size of it. One half looked like an old warehouse while the other half was a small, white bricked building. A red neon sign glowed in the night and a large party was hanging out outside of the building. I could see Jimin in their little group and smiled. He was a very popular man in this area and was able to make new friends wherever he went. If I had to guess, he knew someone and is now best friends with all of them.

“Hey, I just got to the restaurant. I’m going to let you go.”

“Okay, baby,” Andy replied. “Have fun. Talk to you later.”

“Text you when I get home,” I replied. 

Andy was as hypervigilant about getting texts as I was. She was on staff at the hospital when Namjoon and I first arrived. I can’t remember anything from that night after getting in Joon’s car, but when Jin and I spoke about it he said Andy was one of the nurses having to help triage me. She had to be physically pulled away from my body once the doctors found out about our connection, but the image of my body that night is burned into her mind. She was the person who took care of me the most upon release and quit her job at the hospital for a little while in order to make sure I was well taken care of. Calls and texts were just our thing now and I always felt horrible for being part of such a traumatic event for her.

“Love you,” She said.

“Love you too,” I replied, hanging up.

Getting out of my car, I locked the doors and made my way over to Jimin. He caught sight of me before I reached the small group and broke out into a huge, heart stopping smile. Unable to stop myself, I smiled back and waved awkwardly. He said something to the group before meeting me halfway. 

“Hey, you,” He said, wrapping his arms around me. “You look really pretty.”

I laughed nervously, squeezing his waist. “Thanks. I tried my best.”

Pulling away, I was able to admire him a bit better. He was wearing light jeans tonight, a rarity as he preferred sweatpants and slacks, and a black t-shirt. A leather jacket was a staple in his wardrobe, and he always said they kept him warm enough. I never believed him. As always, everything was a tight fit and showed off his body perfectly. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” I said once my appraisal was finished. “Nice boots. Where’d you get them?”

He looked down at the black, Chelsea boots and shrugged, “Nordstrom, I think. Taehyung got them for me a few Christmases ago.”

Of course he did.

“Let’s go inside. I’m cold.”

Jimin laughed, “My apologies, ma’am.”

The restaurant was packed, but Jimin had arrived thirty minutes early to get us on their waitlist, so I only had to wait five minutes for our table to be ready. Jimin brushed off the gesture as first date etiquette, but I knew better. The kid was late to everything and yet he got here early so I wouldn’t have to stand outside in the cold. It almost made me reach out and hold his hand, but my nerves got the best of me. We were at our table before I could gather up some courage, leaving a disappointed, bitter taste in my mouth.

“I’m feeling Disco Fries as an app. You?”

Searching the menu for them, I nodded. “That sounds really good.”

We were quiet for a few minutes as we decided on what we wanted. The menu here was rather large, filled with Mexican foods and copious BBQ items. Having never been here before I had no clue what was good and what hasn’t, but from how many people were here I had to assume nothing was bad.

“Know what you want?” Jimin asked, breaking the silence.

I shook my head, “No idea. What about you?”

“I get the same thing every time I come,” He laughed. “The Korean BBQ Burger is really fucking good. I also like the enchiladas.”

Finding both items, my mouth watered. Everything sounded amazing, but I wanted to get a little out of my comfort zone. I just had burgers yesterday, so I was not feeling that. Maybe BBQ? Looking at the options, I shook my head. I could not eat a half pound of anything. Biting the dry skin on my lips, my brain felt like it was working on overdrive. Too many options.

“Welcome to Union Rec,” I jumped a little, startled. “I’m Annie and I’ll be your server tonight.”

My eyes locked with a pair of baby blues, and I immediately recognized her. She was the brunette from the bar a couple of months ago. Eyes sliding from me, she landed on Jimin and the bored expression on her face morphed into one of pure bliss. I did not understand why she had given me that nasty look back then, but it was much clearer to me now. She had a thing for Jimin. Remembering she had a boyfriend, one she screamed at over the phone, it made me feel nauseous. Poor Tom.

“Oh my gosh, Christian. What are you doing here?” She asked, sneaking a look at me.

“Got a hot date,” He replied cheekily, gesturing his hand my way. “You remember Y/N, right?”

She gave me one of those tight-lipped, fake smiles. I returned the favor. I was not really jealous per say, Jimin’s declaration making any possibility of that disappear, but I did not appreciate anyone trying to make me feel small. I was a gold medalist. I was a fucking Olympian. Whoever the hell this chick thought she was, I would make sure she never thought for a second she got under my skin. 

“Yeah, we met at Brecon’s,” Annie replied, completely ignoring me. “Thought she was your coach.”

Jimin either did not catch the insult or he was choosing to ignore it. His smile was still just as pleasant as it was when we first sat down. I envied his ability to keep his emotions so controlled. I knew I must have been glaring at the poor girl.

“She is,” He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean she’s not my girlfriend. Are you taking our order or…?”

Annie spluttered for a second before regaining her composure. All affection in her eyes was gone and replaced by irritation. It was definitely directed at me, but Jimin’s dismissal must have stung. I was happy to be rid of her. Putting in our order for Disco fries, Jimin got a Sprite and Annie left before I could ask for a drink. Sipping on my complimentary water, I forced myself to breathe in and out. She was just a petty, annoyed girl with a crush. That was all. So, what if she was being rude? I was fine. Everything was fine. After the fifth sip, I actually believed it.

Trying to keep my tongue in check, I went back to looking through the menu. Finally able to make a choice, I decided on the birria beef ramen and closed the menu. Hopefully little miss Annie wouldn’t spit in it. Hot again, I took another long sip of water.

“Excuse me.”

Jimin flagged down another waiter, a pleasant smile on his face. Confused, I put down the glass and raised an eyebrow. He winked at me before laying the charm on thick. 

“Hey Marty. Would you mind if we got a different server?”

The young girl nodded frantically, “Of course. Is everything okay?”

Jimin smiled, eyes like crescents. “Everything is fine. Just Annie on her bullshit. Don’t want to get her fired by talking to your dad.”

Marty rolled her eyes, “Figures. I’ll tell her I’m taking care of you guys. Just don’t expect me to be running around for you, man. I have an entire section by myself.”

“I want privacy anyway,” Jimin replied, smirking at me. “Thanks. I��ll tip you well.”

She laughed, “Just make sure you put it in my hand. That bitch has been stealing tips. Cosette is trying to convince pops to fire her, but you know how he is about the girl.”

Jimin shook his head, “I already know. Can you get my girl a drink? Annie ran off without taking her order.”

Marty looked at me, her deadpan stare making me burst into laughter. Apparently, it wasn’t just me. That helped. 

“Sorry about her. She’s a massive bitch. What can I get you?”

I smiled, my mood a million times better, “Iced tea, please.”

“You got it, babe. You ready to order?”

Marty took our orders and promised to be back with my drink soon. 

“How do you two know each other?” I asked Jimin, finishing off my water.

“We were in the same class back in high school. Her mom owns that flower shop on Michigan Avenue.”

That was surprising. I was positive the girl was no older than eighteen. She reminded me of a porcelain doll, her chubby cheek and big eyes adding something angelic to her overall look. Then again, Jimin did not look all that old either. It was easy to forget he just turned 24. The age gap was really messing with my brain.

Annie was back with Jimin’s drink a few minutes later. She said nothing when she practically slammed his cup on the table before stalking off. It was then that I knew who she reminded me of. Darcy. I wondered if they were friends. Definitely had the same attitude problem, that was for sure.

“Ignore her,” Jimin told me once she was out of earshot. “I’ve been doing it since middle school.”

The rest of our dinner went back without a hitch. With Annie out of the way, and Marty’s small and infrequent check-in’s, we were able to be in a bubble of sorts. He asked about my trip back home and filled me in on what happened over the weekend. He had finally told his parents about our date and said that his mom thought it was a great idea. James called me perfect a few times, too. I had a hard time believing it, but Jimin had never lied to me before. It was nice to know the people around him accepted me even if I was a few years older.

“My mom’s 9 years older than my dad,” He revealed in between bites of food.

Shocked, I stopped eating all together. I had no idea they were that different in age. Ne-Yeon looked so youthful and pretty it was hard to guess just how old she actually was. Even fighting cancer, that woman did not look a day over 40. James was also in great shape for his age. To hear they had their own age gap made me feel a little bit better. 

“Wait,” Something else occurred to me. “Your mom was in her forties when she had you?”

Jimin nodded, “45. She had Haru at 48.”

It made sense to me now. To Jimin, our age gap was nothing special. It was smaller than his parents’, and having an older mother did not bother him at all. In his eyes, we had all of the time in the world for marriage and kids. A small weight came off of my shoulders. It really did not mean anything to him. He was not just saying that to make me feel better either. 

“Do you want dessert?” He asked, his plate empty in front of him. 

I was almost done with my bowl, “What do they have?”

He squinted his eyes, thinking.

“I know they have this horchata banana pudding. It’s literally the best dessert I’ve ever had in my life. There are a few other things, but I can’t remember what they are.”

I chuckled, “Then we’ll have the banana pudding.”

Jimin was not exaggerating either. The pudding was delicious. I almost wished we had each gotten our own serving, but after seeing the bill we were happy we hadn’t. Jimin paid this time. We had a back-and-forth deal when it came to meals. I got us breakfast last Wednesday, so he was picking up this bill. This was, unfortunately, much higher than Denny’s.

“I’ll put gas in your truck,” I offered on our way out. “To make up for the difference from Denny’s.”

He scoffed, “Don’t worry about it.”

“But-”

“We’re together now,” He interrupted me. “If I want to pay for a meal, then I will. You don’t have to pay me back.”

“We’ve always done that,” I argued.

“That was before,” He countered, walking me to my car door and opening it. “This is now. And right now, I’m trying to take a pretty girl, in a pretty dress, on a nice date. That includes paying for her meal.”

Getting into my seat, I pointed out that I let him do the gentleman thing all of the time. Opening my door for me, pulling chairs out at restaurants, and even walking on the curbside when we were out together. The list was endless. The least I could do was pay for half of a meal.

“I don’t do those things to get on your good side,” Jimin replied. “I do them because I want to. This isn’t transactional. So, stop worrying about being a burden. I enjoy taking care of you. You deserve to be taken care of.”

I could not think of a good enough comeback, so I just decided to drop it. If he wanted to pay for me then he could. It was his money to spend. 

“Send me your address.”

“You still want to come over?” He seemed surprised.

“Yeah,” I nodded, already pulling up the GPS. “What is it?”

He sounded like Charlie when he won the golden ticket as he gave me his address. 

“Don’t get too excited now,” I joked. “Just because I’m coming over doesn’t mean anything.”

Jimin laughed, “I pretend I don’t even know what sex is until after date three, so don’t worry about it.”

That made me laugh, “Get in your truck. I’ll meet you there.”

Looking back at him, I felt giddy. His eyes were so alight, his joy written so clearly across his face it took my breath away. A happy Jimin was the only kind I wanted to see. Blowing caution to the wind, I finally reached out. Touching his stomach, I felt the muscles clench beneath my fingers.

“Thank you,” I said earnestly.

“What for?” He rasped, placing one hand over mine, pressing my hand further into his skin. 

“For-” I broke off, taking my hand away. The feeling of him underneath me was too much. “For being so accommodating. I really appreciate it.”

He laughed, the sound strained and airy. I was too embarrassed by my actions to look at his face, but I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my eyes. Unlike me, Jimin was always brave. Hopefully some of that confidence would rub off on me. Maybe then I could reach out and hold him whenever I wanted to. 

“You’re welcome,” He replied, and my thighs clenched together at how rough he sounded. Did touching him do that? Or was it the praise? It could be both. “Drive safe, okay? You can follow me if that helps.”

I nodded, swallowing. The icy air outside did nothing to put out the blistering heat coursing between us right now. It was overwhelming how hot it was. Turning up my A/C, I pointed the vent directly at my face.

“See you in a few minutes,” I breathed, still unable to look at him.

Jimin closed my door, and I leaned back in my seat breathing heavily. I watched him as he rounded the front of my car, those pants sticking to his legs like a second skin and groaned. I had never felt this level of desire for anyone before. 

He reminded me so much of Namjoon. His beautiful brain and love for music and poetry so reminiscent it managed to bring me back to happier times. In the beginning I was afraid my attraction to him stemmed from that link. Because he reminded me of something I had loved so dearly that meant what I was beginning to feel was just a projection.

I was wrong. So unbelievably wrong. Jimin had a passion that Joon could never replicate. If Joon was a warm blanket, then Jimin was like the tide in the sea. On the surface it was calm, steady, and beautiful. Underneath that was life like nothing I had ever seen before. He was refreshing and filled with this fire for life that reminded me of my own from years ago.

Namjoon was perfect, a boy-next-door, and soft spoken. Back then I had enough of that passion for the both of us. Now I saw more and more parallels between us than ever before. I was uncertain, waiting for someone else to bring excitement back into my life, too afraid to reach out and take what I wanted anymore.

And then Jimin was there with that big smile willing to take me on whatever adventure I desired. All I had to do was ask. It was exhilarating, fun, and I was happy to be a part of the ride. His softness, his kindness, his understanding- all of it wrapped up in a pretty red bow. A gift that kept on giving.

I did not love Jimin, but I knew then that I could. With his sharp tongue and charisma, it was impossible not to. Everyone else did. Who was I to think I could be any different? I was a slave to his happiness. It was in that moment, sitting in my car, that I finally understood what was happening.

I was falling in love and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio @tae-with-some-suga @sumzysworld @chimmisbae

© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.

#park jimin #bts jimin #jimin x y/n #jimin x female reader #jimin x reader #jimin x you #bts #bts x fem!reader #bts x y/n #bts x reader #bts x you #park jimin fanfic #park jimin fanfiction #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #kim seokjin #kim namjoon #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #jung hoseok #min yoongi #bts scenarios #strangers to lovers #jimin smut #jimin scenarios

[graychrissy]

🌊Digital Detox + Egyptians lucid dreaming method 🌊

Idk what to put on the title of this post so I wrote digital detox and I have copy pasted the main lines.

In the ancient Egypt the Egyptians use to have lucid dreaming alot and it was extremely easy for for them not just Egyptians but it was also mention ancient Indian scriptures.

You’re probably wondering ‘what’s the secret’? The real problem is often NOT your technique. It’s actually another issue that no amount of techniques, articles, reality checks, supplements or uncomfortable masks is going to fix. It’s your ‘inner game’. Specifically, your subconscious motivation and reward circuits, and ‘dopamine cycle’. Travel in your mind for a second, to ancient Egypt.

There were no smart phones, internet connections, computer animated action movies or virtual reality headsets.

Your brain back then would have produced a healthy amount of dopamine as a reward for pretty basic things like eating, working, exploring, and taking some time to relax or meditate

Now our average attention spans are literally less than 7 SECONDS. It’s probably a lot lower than that, and It’s declining every single year with the rise of new, highly addictive and stimulating social media apps and platforms. When was the last time you meditated for over 90 minutes? Have you ever? I’m not saying you have to do that to lucid dream, but this sort of practice was very common 5000 years ago. In fact, it was weird NOT to do that. And herein lies the main problem.

Your brain is ‘fried’ with an overly stimulated dopamine pathway. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that stimulates the feeling of WANTING to keep doing something. It’s the reason you keep scrolling through Instagram, or keep refreshing your Facebook feed to see if there are any new comments or notifications. But it’s also the SUBCONSCIOUS reason you aren’t able to lucid dream easily. In the last decade especially, there have been billions of dollars spent by big tech to essentially ‘addict you’ to their platforms. Why? Money. The more time and energy you spend on platforms like that, the more money they make. So the task has been given to artificial intelligence. The AIs often just get trained and told a few basic things: 1: Get people to spend more time on the platform 2: Get people to keep coming BACK to the platform as often as possible The ‘AI’ pays almost NO attention to what that would do to your mental health, attention span, motivation, emotions, or really anything else. Much LESS attention is paid to the effect it has on your ability to focus, or do things like, say, lucid dream. Now, the ‘dopamine cycle’ is one part of the problem, but it’s actually pretty easy to fix. There are several little pieces to what I call the ‘modern brain puzzle’. Things that just weren’t a problem 5000 years ago. You can see some of this playing out in children today. On average, children or people under the age of 15, find it MUCH easier to lucid dream than adults do. It’s because at that age, their dopamine system has not been damaged too much. This is of course changing now, as more and more children are having access to smartphones, but it’s an interesting point. In fact not only does the dopamine problem affect your ability to lucid dream, it also affects your ability to WANT to lucid dream (consciously and subconsciously). Specifically I’m talking about your motivation and focus. And you guessed it, there’s your number one cause of problems when trying to meditate, practice techniques like the WILD, or recall your dreams.

After reading this paragraph or stanza whatever,I noticed something,as a kid I had lucid dreams alot with just putting intentions.

My first lucid dream was at around 7-8 years old,and I was sinking when I realised I was dream and I tried controlling my dream and even succeeded,and I was probably there for about 10 minutes playing with underwater creatures and mermaids.

And till 7 grade I use to have alot of lucid dreams but after that I was allowed to use phone and so I was always invested in phone like all the time. By the way lucid dream was pretty normal for me and I pretty much forgot about it and never really paid attention to lucid dreaming. And then I rarely had any lucid dreams, probably 4 times ever since 8 grade and I've noticed every time I lucid dream it's always whenever I don't use any social media.

In 9 grade my phone was taken again because my mother noticed my social media addiction. And after few months I again start to lucid dream for fun easily and effortlessly but during COVID I was again allowed to have my phone and then a new laptop so now my life was revolving around social media again and for the past few year I only lucid dream whenever I don't get to use my phone more then 2 days.

Idk bout y'all but I wasn't allowed to use phones or laptop till 8th grade so the only thing I knew was TV which I only watched after coming home so like my mind was most of the te bored because I didn't had anything to keep it entertain which made it easy for me to observe around looking for things to do.

So how can you reverse the ‘dopamine problem’ and several of the other issues modern life has created? By the way: This is NOT about destroying your phone and going back to live in a cave. There are actually several powerful habits you can install, that will let you KEEP using your phone, laptop etc, but without these harmful effects. Here’s the simple solution to more lucid dreams: 1. Reverse engineer your life and remove distractions, manipulation, ‘dopamine hijacking’ and harmful blue light exposure from your daily routine (along with some other ‘problem patterns’) 2. Get inside your subconscious brain and rewire yourself to WANT to practice lucid dreaming, and to effortlessly do reality checks at the right time, without even trying 3. Learn powerful ‘all day awareness’ and ‘lucid living’ techniques that give your brain superpowers in the fight 4. On top of THAT foundation, learn the most effective techniques and concepts, use our tools to stay motivated, and experience lucid mastery within 14 days. Let’s dive a little bit deeper: First, you have to ‘reverse engineer’ the problem. This can be complicated if you don’t know what you’re doing, but we’ve laid everything out step by step for you. If dopamine addiction is part of the problem, we have to break that addiction first. Then comes your mindset, and your motivation pathways. You need to actually feel GOOD when you practice these things. I see so many people saying they’re struggling to remember to do reality checks, or they just don’t want to wake up at ‘weird times’ to practice. Don’t worry, you won’t have to. It will feel good, and you’ll ENJOY practicing these things. Next, your subconscious mind. It’s SO important to fix your internal beliefs about lucid dreaming, because the chances are you have ‘internal blocks’ about becoming lucid. They’re easy to pick up, but a bit harder to ‘unlearn’. The system shows you how to ‘unlearn’ them, and install new, powerful and self affirming beliefs into your mind. This gives your brain lots more motivation to keep trying. Now, one of the most common things I hear people say is that they can’t REMEMBER to keep doing reality checks. It’s linked to the dopamine problem we mentioned earlier, but it’s also connected to a few other psychological principles that we’ll get onto. We’ll give you a new framework to ENJOY reality checks, remember them without any annoying reminders, and actually get them to SHOW UP in your dreams, 9 out of 10 times. And then finally, we’ll build the most effective techniques, methods and concepts on top of that new, strong foundation. Of course, I’m simplifying this here, but that’s the outline.

Here are some videos that may help.

If you want to know more about it or get the steps to lucid dream you can buy the book or go through a long step to get it for free but the procedure is very long and probably only for Iphone user.

You find some good articles ways to do the 'reverse dopamine' thingy.(I donot trust my research on this topic cuz I got confuse)

You may use Adambja's tape to reprogram your subconscious and this hacking the matrix tape the comments under the video was so good and I found this tape on someone's success story. You can use this two tapes to reprogram your subconscious and of course psych-k.

This is pretty much all you need digital detox,observing your surroundings and subconscious reprogramming to change your belief or assumptions.

And this will make you even more motivated that you are working on your goals as many of us have the access of devices it's hard for us to keep up with all this method and it's not like we are always busy if we are we wouldn't be scrolling through Tumblr and Pinterest all the time. If you read the the copy pasted part you'll see what I mean.

Edit: I forgot to mention it 🥲 if we follow do this we CAN HAVE lucid dream everyday.

Egyptians lucid dreaming tea

This will be quick,so I went to my aunt's place with my mother and my aunt's ran out of tea powder/leaves so she used her daughter's blue lotus tea and after getting home I took a nap and I HAD A FOKING LUCID DREAM,so basically I didn't knew that it was the tea until I was doing some research on LD and found out that in ancient Egypt they use Blue Lotus tea and I found some review about it on YouTube and people had very vivid dreams aswell. This tea basically put you in REM which y'all probably know about.

But I don't like tea😐,so if anyone have interest you can try I honestly want to but my hate for tea is on top on the list of top 5 things I hate,you can find them online people even use Blue Lotus in vape😐not encourageling y'all to smoke but if anyone does you can.

#Youtube #ancient lucid dream #blue lotus #tea #lucid dreaming tea #shifting #void state #void #manifest

[kamii-2]

now hear me out. Kk arnold turning reader gay but reader thinks she’s straight

-👾

hi 👾 anon!! i actually love you so much for requesting this and making me decide that i should make this a series, but anyway this is just a little backstory to everything so sorry if it’s confusing in any type of way.

warning(s): cussing, kk and reader don’t actually physically interact this chapter, suggestive thoughts

genre: fluff

pairing(s): kk arnold x reader

“you thought wrong” masterlist

==================================

chapter 1

==================================

kk arnold has to be the finest person you’ve ever seen in your life, everything about her is just perfect. her personality, humor, smile, face, body, everything. the only problem is that you think she’s straight and kk is quite the opposite of that. she think you’re the prettiest girl to ever walk this earth, she has the same problem as you, she thinks your straight.

the only reason youre gay is because of kk, she turned you lesbian. but the way she talked on her lives to fans made you think she was straight but she did not look straight and you were to dense to see that. your friends have told you multiple time that she’s gay but you never believed them.

you figured out you were gay on a random sunday night, you were laying in your bed scrolling through tiktok when you got a notification from instagram that kk was live. you and kk were friends were sort of close, you knew a lot about her, or so you thought, and decided to join. when you joined it was her and paige just messing around, they were play fighting and ignoring the phone as they messed around but when they came back she checked the viewers, “hi y/n!” she said while waving at the phone, paige waving with her. you admired kk’s features and voice and it just kind of happened. you were thinking about how fine she was and then it clicked, kk just turned you gay and made you like her in less than a minute. you left the live quick as fuck and went back on tiktok, them edits of kk started popping up. “fuck.” you muttered to yourself as you favorited all of them.

- current day -

the time was 6:04am you were in the bathroom doing your hair. as you were doing it, your friend symphony facetimed you. “hey y/nnnn.” she greeted, “heyyyy” you replied back with the same energy. “guess what.” she smiled, “what?” you smiled back, “i bought tickets to the Uconn women’s basketball game tonight. the game is at 5:00 so i’ll come get you at 4:45.” your jaw dropped, “oh my god i love you so much, ALSO i have so much to tell you!” you yelled while clapping.

-

after all of your classes you went back to your dorm and waited for symphony to get there. while you waiting you scrolled on tiktok, favoriting kk edits as you scrolled. at around 4:00 you decided to redo your hair and touch up your makeup, at 4:44 symphony texted you that she was outside and you grabbed everything you needed then headed out the door to her car. “heyyy.” you said happily as you got in, “hiii.” she smiled. “okay so a few days ago i joined kk arnold’s live the boom i found out im gay and that i like her in less than a minute.” you dumped on her the moment she went silent, “AS IN THE BASKETBALL PLAYER?” she yelled, “isn’t there only one kk arnold?” you asked, “OH MY GOD.” she yelled again. “okay, okay, we have to go if we wanna make it on time.” you were trying to make her stop yelling, “sorry, i can’t believe what you just told me man.” she was now laughing.

when you guys got to your seats the game was about to start in 2 minutes. you guys talked about college, the basketball teams, and drama. once the team came out symphony was checking everyone out, “ooh, number 10 lowkey fine, not even lowkey, highkey!” she muttered to you, you just laughed at her antics and kept watching them play. “i know you said that you liked kk but i can’t help but admit the fact that she’s fine as hell.” symphony muttered to you again, “i know. bro she literally turned me gay.”

as the game went on you and symphony kept talking about the basketball team and you guys got back on the topic of your sexuality. “kk is gay for sure.” symphony added on to your last sentence, “no she’s not she doesn’t look- she definitely looks gay but the things she says aren’t. she talks about her man all the time on lives.” you defended her, “are you dense?” symphony looked at you like you had 7 eyes. “she’s saying that stuff because she’s famous and has fans and people who look up to her.” symphony argued. “true.” you mumbled and the conversation ended there.

-

after the game, you and symphony went out to eat then she dropped you off at your dorm. you thought about what symphony had said until you fell asleep, is kk really gay or straight and looks gay? you weren’t sure and honestly you really wanted to find out.

==================================

okay so before i finish everything off, let me introduce the characters

y/n l/n: 18, from chicago illinois (illinois barely gets any recognition and that’s where i’m from just not chicago and this is my story so i can do whatever i want)

symphony roy: 18, from chicago illinois, black, y/n’s childhood friend

==================================

i hope you guys enjoyed the first part of “you thought wrong” !! i will post more parts later this week anyway i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋

#uconn wbb #uconn huskies #uconn women’s basketball #kk arnold #kk arnold x reader #fluff #wlw #wlw post

[cryptomiracle]

hoodie with a s/o hcs?? :D

Tysm for the request, it means a lot <3

WARNINGS:

Manipulation

Gaslighting

These aren't ordered, I usually categorize hcs but not this time!!

Obsession(?)

Stalking

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

he keeps a photo of you with him at all times, one in his pocket, and one in his wallet.

He has so many photos/videos of you, he genuinely does adore you

he especially likes to take candid photos of you when you're doing random tasks, whenever he's away from you, he'll scroll through his phone's gallery looking at the many pictures of you, they remind him of his home, with you.

he still actively pursues cinematography and gets you to star in his little films.

he's a heavy sleeper, and when he sleeps he spawls all of his limbs out, kinda like this "🤸" taking up the whole bed

If you wanna sleep, you're either gonna have to sleep on top of him, or on the couch cause that man is NOT getting up.

he has a box fan going at all times, all year round, no matter what season it is.

He's a morning person, he'll be up at 5 in the morning filled to the brim with energy, no coffee needed.

Sometimes, he'll accidentally wake you up, but he always makes up for it by making you breakfast.

he listens to yacht rock (america, the doobie brothers, steely dan.. the works)

he has a slight southern accent, but it's not too heavy.. until he says something like "oil" or "white" then it really comes out

he has a few freckles on his back

He enjoys tracing your features, gently gliding his fingers against your eyes, nose, cheeks, etc.

Sometimes he'll just look at you and smile, like if you're doing laundry or dishes he'll just stare at you with a grin, admiring you.

he enjoys a little gossip I won't lie

He's the type to sit in the car with you after picking you up from work, and let you tell him all about whatever drama is going on at your job.

If it's something REALLY messy, he'll ask you about it later.

He drives an old, blue and white 1972 Chevy C-10

he follows you around like a lost puppy, a creepy, kinda off-putting puppy that you don't know is there unless he wants you to know, but a puppy nonetheless.

He keeps mental tabs on people you interact with, he won't follow them around or anything, but he remembers things about them.. their name, age, how you know them, their home address, etc.

You'd be surprised at how much you could find out about a person online

The quote "I'm not a stalker, I'm an investigator" fits him perfectly

he has to make sure you're safe, it's a dangerous world out there yk.

he never ever talks to you about his emotions, or how he feels, unless you ask him directly. but all you'll get in return is:

"Honey, I'm alright.. really."

"I'm fine, how are you though?"

"Can we talk about this later?"

he feels that his problems are his own to deal with and that he shouldn't bother you with them.

when you two fight for whatever reason, (which rarely happens because he purposely goes out of his way to avoid making you upset) he has a habit of gaslighting you

he'll say things along the lines of:

"I understand but.."

"I never said that.."

"we talked about this.."

he only really manipulates/gaslights you when he's genuinely worried you may leave, (even if you aren't actually going to) he uses it as a way to make sure you stay.

for him, there is no stopping point unless knows 100% that you're gonna stay.

He will literally fall to his knees, and break down in (fake) tears in a public area and BEG you to stay with him.

He doesn't get embarrassed by it because he knows it's "necessary"

If an argument is getting too heated, he may bring up your ex-partner(s), or people you just went on dates with before you two got together, even if it didn't go any further than that. Especially if you didn't tell him about them previously.

Don't ask him how he knows about them, he'll immediately take that chance to shift the blame onto you, asking why you didn't tell him about them beforehand if you had told him about them earlier, he wouldn't have had to go digging to find out about them.

when he does that, It's really just him grasping for straws, usually in an attempt to change the subject.

If you couldn't already tell he's a smooth talker, not just in a manipulative way.

he is such a flirt, there's rarely a conversation between the two of you where he doesn't slip in a little flirting, whether you pick up on it or not.

He's sneaky like that

Since we're on the topic of him being sneaky, he's a bit of a thief.. he'll steal your things and carry them with him whenever he leaves you for more than one day at a time.

that old T-shirt you haven't worn in a year that was sitting in the back of your closet collecting dust? yeah, that's his now.

If you collect little trinkets, you'll definitely have to buy a lot more of them because he'll steal them and hide them away in the glove compartment of his truck.

He doesn't steal with malicious intent, he'll return them eventually (except for the trinkets) he just feels like he needs something of yours, other than pictures to be close to you when he can't be, yk?

Something that smells like you, to remind him of what he has waiting for him at home.

Kind of like when you randomly catch a whiff of a nostalgic smell from your childhood, how it brings you peace, even if it's only for a second.

honestly, he's not very big on physical touch. he does enjoy having little intimate moments with you, like cuddling or playing with your hair, but other than that.. he's never one to initiate it. unless of course he really needs your touch.

just being in your presence eases his mind, you're like a lighthouse standing still in the vast, dark, uncontrollable ocean he considers "his life"

You're the only person in his life whom he feels he can be truly vulnerable, truly safe with.

which is why he won't let you go, no, can't let you go. you're the only stable thing in his life, and he'd be damned if he just let you walk away.

I've decided to try a new writing style cus I like rainbows and stuff! ^^

I will be re-reading this later, please tell me if you spot any errors !!

Also, I apologize for this being short, but I kinda ran out of ideas so-

#creepypasta #headcanon #creepypasta headcanon #marble hornets #brian thomas #creepypasta x reader #marble hornets headcanons #hoodie x reader

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗳𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲

𝟭. being consistent in journaling ( 🪻 )

i have recently started journaling more consistently and would like to maintain this line. i tried several times to start, failing miserably, because i couldn't find a method that would keep me motivated for a long time. then i purchased the famous five minutes gratitude journal, which is much easier to keep, and which i manage to update almost every day because by simply having to answer the pre-set questions my brain doesn't experience it as a commitment, unlike writing a diary page. alongside the fmj i have another diary with blank pages that i use as a proper diary, writing my reflections, talking about my day, complaining about negative things and stuff like that. i must say that it's therapeutic. i hope this is the right time i can maintain consistency in writing.

𝟮. having a more balanced diet ( 🍋‍🟩 )

i admit i've been eating like shit lately, a lot of sweets and processed foods alternated with periods of fasting due to guilt with the excuse of not having enough time to cook among the thousand things to do. i want to seriously commit to investing some of my time each week into preparing healthy, homemade meals (i could share some recipes here if you want, lmk) that keep me energized and don't ruin my hard work at the gym by adding empty calories to my diet.

𝟯. being consistent in the gym ( 🍄 )

and then obviously going to the gym at least 3 times a week, not really due to a matter of weight/aesthetics, but to cultivate discipline and focus. i believe that physically venting stress is the best and healthiest way to handle the crushing weight of life lately. sometimes i simply need to unload my energy without throwing a fit and risking venting it on someone who has nothing to do with it.

𝟰. reading at least 10 pages per day ( 📚 )

i love reading. i love reading madly, but i also know that i often find a thousand excuses not to do it. my brain fried by social media and zombie scrolling doesn't like the idea of concentrating on printed pages at all and i always put off reading all those books placed on my shelf gathering dust. i haven't read a book in months, so the time has come to break this bad habit and take back my greatest passion. i won't even mention all the benefits of reading, because only one book can give you so much in such a short time.

𝟱. sleep at least 8 hours ( ☕ )

i think my lack of sleep has a psychological component, but i'm no expert so what i say may not actually make any sense. i sleep little, much less than i need, when i was in high school i finished studying very late at night (past 3am) every day because i was so dependent on academic validation that the idea of getting a slightly lower grade than my usual could make me throw up. the thing is, i always delay going to sleep, even though my body is begging me to do so, and i think it's due to an inherent fear that the next day i'll have to go through it all over again. consequently in the morning i'm a wreck and i have to drag myself out of bed, being 30% as productive as i actually could be. i think it's time to work on my sleep schedule much more seriously, i think it could boost my health a lot.

𝟲. spend 15min in the sun every day ( ☀️ )

as a woman i know how important it is to be in the sun to produce vitamin D, unfortunately for me i'm some kind of goblin vampire who can't stay in the sun for more than five minutes without getting sunburned – on top of that my eyes start to water when the light too strong. i'll arm myself with sunscreen and give my body what it needs, hoping i won't get arthritis in my forties.

let me know in the comments what are YOU planning to improve in the near future <3

#academia #college #education #note taking #school #student #study aesthetic #study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #study notes #study tips #studyblr #studyinspo #studyspo #university life #university student #university #working on myself #self improvement #self care #self love

[endlessmidnightcreates]

Finally was able to finish the character sheet of my girl, Opal Skai for my most recent DND campaign. It's going super well so far!

Can you see all the lil notes I made, I had a lot of fun doing those :3

Here's the low down on her below the cut

She is a Fire Genasi Druid who is all smarts and like 2% fight despite her ferocious appearance (some would say). She is sometimes seen smoldering or glowing. But she is a Huge Nerd and Babygirl and a bit odd.

Opal is a Bookshop Keeper in Baldur’s Gate. Even though the town is regarded as a nest of vipers, she values knowledge and community and takes pride in the family library/store that she runs with her mother. People around it respect her and the store and it’s seen as neutral ground and is both used for gang negotiations and occasional toddler reading circles, sometimes in the same day. 

She Spends 50% her time in the store, 30% in nature and doing #HotDruidShit (like hot girl shit but with druids) and then the other 20% vibing. She’s quiet, but not shy and actually quite talkative when the moment is right (someone asks her a question about a book–or she’s drunk). She will talk and say hi and bye to people on the street. When it comes to fighting, she prefers not to but that won’t stop her from slapping a bitch (with her hand or staff). But like she reeeeally prefers not to (int. modifier Is -1). Mainly cus she’s Genasi and she is mostly untrained so she would rather not kill someone. But she’s capable.

More Deets

Occupation: 

She owns a small bookshop specialty store. Well, technically it belongs to her mother, but it will go to her once she retires or dies (god forbid).

Denizens of Baldur’s gate can get a wide range of books and scrolls as well as several common herbs and spell components. Everything from eye of newt to various animal bones. She partly keeps it stocked with her own foraging as well as having a supplier and an elderly mother (human npc) who watches over the shop and manages logistics. She manages the front of shop. Having read all the books and catalogued everything in the store, she has begun to work on her every-expanding growing “To buy” list that consists of various rare books and magical items. 

She has started to take on minor mercenary/adventurer jobs to build up capital. There are expensive texts and components in Elturel that she wants to get her hands on. These jobs have ranged from delivering 20 rabbit pelts to serving court papers in creative ways (read: transforms into a cat and tricks them into letting her in). Though, for some of the more rare artifacts, she figures, the easiest way is to tag along with one of the many Adventuring parties in BG to gather information on its whereabouts. 

Class: Druid

Why is she a druid. Druidism runs in the family. Opal’s mother and a few aunts and uncles are and were druids. Her grandmother was as well. It was only natural that Momma Opal taught the ways to her flaming baby. But Opal was resistant to the lifestyle as a young one. The spells, the philosophy, heck, being around leaves as someone whose average body temperature could easily reach 300°C made it difficult for her to find the value of the practice. She figured that blacksmithing would be more useful. Being a Druid helps her live more in harmony with the energies and elements that swirl around in her blood. She’s a valued member of the Druid Community in Baldur’s Gate because she’s just a cool gal, but also because she has helped many a druid get lava flowers (a flower that grows inside volcanoes)[i also literally just made that up] 

Combat 

Opal has only ever unwillingly killed once. She was on one of her many quests. She was an ox, lugging a massive stag carcass behind her. Bandits attacked her and she fought them off, maiming a few and kiling one instantly. The others escaped. She went straight home, fleeing the scene. That was the first time she had ever been attacked. She was rarely provoked or approached in human form because of her stature. But as an ox, people didn’t recognize or fear her. She missed a big payday that day. She doesn’t know if they survived or not. She tries not think about it often. 

Fighting and killing are not things she often does. She’s the type of gal to grab a spider and let it outside rather than smush it. But– She CAN do it. She CAN fight (in humanoid form) and she CAN and WILL hurt someone if they hurt or try to hurt her. She will turn into what the situation needs and act accordingly - need to make a quick getaway? HONSE. Need to serve court papers? KITTY. Need to slap a bitch? HUMANOID

She will not attack unless provoked physically. Her moral code is fuck around and find out but reeeally hopes that they don’t have to find out, cus she doesn't know herself tbh.

Childhood:

Opal doesn't know much about her Genie father’s side, though he comes to visit often enough from the elemental plane. She also has a way to contact him whenever she wants.

She has 12 aunts and uncles who are scattered throughout the country, quite a few of them are druids and frequent their local bogs while the others reside in normal villages and have average families and lives. Opal has ALOT of cousins.

She has an aunt and uncle who live in other parts of Baldur's gate. they sometimes take shifts at the shop. All of them contribute to building the shop’s library and maintaining goods. Her aunt is an adventurer while her uncle is a cook at a tavern.

Religion:

She believes in the spirit of nature. Thus she tries to respect it whenever she has the opportunity. Aside from that, she tries to be respectful of everyone else’s gods, except the evil ones (like bal) or the ones that expect an unhealthy blind devotion. She’s not a devout worshiper. Prays on occasion to the universe but other than that, she focuses on her own actions.

#DND #my character #dnd character

[plutonianeris]

ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ: accepting where people see you as the villain ⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓

this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. 🖤

♱☾pile one☽

sometimes it feels like you can never win because one way or another, theres always someone criticizing you. People are nervous around you and its not necessarily anything you do. I got a lot of scorpio and plutonian energy in my cards/ the oracles. People in your daily life make you seem like the villain because either 1) you don't share too much of you and they are craving for access or 2) you are equally as suspicious of them. Regardless, people can be kind of intimidated of you (but never publically admit it, more like hide it behind shady comments). lol the lyrics of the song playing right now in the background "make everyone hate me if that makes you feel better, your girl talks shit about me just to feel better" as you keep climbing up in your career/ reputation youre going to feel like a lot of more people are judging you. Accept that you cant control that. And if it makes you feel any better, it is envy/ hate but its to hide some jealousy and even some admiration as well.

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

♱☾pile two☽

I heard "theres just no way in hell that this is all on me" the people you live with/ family (and in your hometown) could see you as the villain in those moments you are trying to express your emotions. You could get called being too "emotional" I heard "crybaby" or maybe even being called a hothead & impulsive when you try to talk to your loved ones about how you feel. You could be known for having a short temper or being very emotional (like the type to cry after seeing someone in pain or reading a sad news article). In reality, people close to you can get irritated with how emotionally intelligent you are. When you're angry/ upset about something your'e always determined to do something about it, and you start off by allowing yourself to feel your feelings. Accept that some people dont want to make room for you needs/ emotions. But then know when its time to refuse to give people more access to your energy and make sure you are meeting ur own needs. I just heard "I am worth more than these poor experiences you are trying to give to me"

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

♱☾pile three☽

you could find that people in your neighborhood, apartment complex, or even the school you go to tend to turn you into the villain on the forms you communicate/ ask questions/ express yourself intellectual point of view. If you have siblings you could find that you get into frequent fights or bicker a lot. Youre eager to learn new things and that could throw other people off as you rush past them, ready to know more about the world. this pile reminds me of a curious child lol touching the "dont touch" sign. Out of all the piles this one feels more playful. Its like people suck their teeth and roll their eyes but youre so resilient. you bounce back in a way that feels so efortless that they dont stay too mad. its like even the people that see you as "the villian" at times are still secretly rooting for you? idk lol this pile was weird but also kind of endearing. Again, it reminds me of the way a child falls and quickly gets back up. Even if people judge you, you know that you have to keep it pushing. I just heard "in 5 years... shit, in 5 weeks none of this bs is gonna matter"

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

♱☾pile four☽

people you get into close relationships with (friends, but especially lovers or even your crushes) can make you the villain for your "eccentricity." this pile gave off big Aquarius energty (it reminds me of those with aspects between venus and uranus). lol like your beauty and ways of being are very unique or quirky. honestly, those qualities (your forms of dress, taste in music, the weird things you say, random facts u know) are actually what makes people interested in you and start crushing on you. but then at the same time they judge you for not conforming to societal norms. It's like "I think you are unique and brave, but god cant you just be normal sometimes?" thats annoying! My advice to you is don't EVER let people treat you as if spending time with you was a burden and don't let people pick and choose when to hang out with you. watch out for when you have big groups of friends, you could find that 1 or 2 could be hating behind your back. You always stand out in the crowd and sometimes that leaves insecure people with a sour taste in their mouth. You could be someone that has a different religion/ ethnicity/ background in comparison from the rest of your peers (whether it be at school or work). lol alien superstar is playing in the background rn "don't ever waste your time trying to compete with me... no one else in this world can think like me'

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

© plutonianeris🕸️🕷️

#pac #pick a deck #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a pile #astro tarot #astrology #intuitive reading #pick a pile reading #pick an image reading #self help tarot #tarot #tarot spread #tarot reading #astrology readings #plutonianeris

[imperatriceauxdiamants]

LOW VALUE MALES and how to understand them.

Keeping in mind "sex is the end goal of LVM" and "LVM won't care about women's emotions and will leverage them for their end goal" helps clarify tremendously their modus operandi. If you don't wanna read all this post, re-read this first post and scroll down. That's all there is.

LVM will pretend relationship for the sake of sex, they won't even be willing to put in effort and care into the relationship, just enough so they can access sex. And once dumped they'll crawl and cry so hard and pretend they'll improve themselves but it's all for the sake of sex.

They're literal slaves to their dick. They WANT to get it wet. The Dick Must be Wet.

LVM don't see women as their equal... and wont change their minds. They see women as possessions instead of humans. They won't care about what women desire want need deserve, because they see those things as obstacles to sex, so he'll cut corners just to get his dikk wet. Like "huh, why bother romancing her, I'm doing bare minimum and she's willing to give me sex, anything beyond that is useless

They're cheapos. They'll do hangouts, fake dates (that's what I call cheapo easy fake-romancey dates, like walk dates, park dates, starry night dates, home movie dates, etc), they'll pinch their pennies when it comes to dating... Because they simply aren't sure if the sex will be there. They aren't sure, so why the hell spend this much cash, Jessica Neighbor might have better odds than Joanna Doe? They'll litterally do a mental risk/perk calculation. To give you an idea, an escort's time is 600$+ in major cities, they're happy to pay for that, but will screech at the idea of paying 40$ for a nice dinner with a glammed up lady (that is ACTUALLY into them).

They loathe effort and energy, and they loathe making others feel good without expecting anything back. Let's say you're a LVM. Your average Joanna Doe, you romance her, you bring her to cute cafes, you get through boring discussions about future (you legit don't give a F about that, she's not the one and you know it), and you future fake her, you recourse to lowly strategies to make her think there's something going on. Joanna invests more of her time into you, she opens up more and more, after 1-2 weeks you bring her to fake dates, increase the intimacy, slowly push her boundaries, then tada sexxx.

They'll recourse to immoral strategies without any personal issues. It brings us back to point 4; they don't see women as people to respect. Respecting women to them is optional, and they do it begrudgingly to not be seen as absolute assholes... This is bringing us back to the previous point's LVM example: Uh oh? Joanna Doe doesn't wants to have sex? You'll start doing guilt trips, push her into sex, say that she's weird, or maybe increase the romance fake talk, say she's the Number One and that you Know You'll Spend Your Life With Her, She's So Special. You lovebomb her, you talk of everything you think women love. Litterally you'll trow anything until it sticks.

To LVM, dating IS a numbers game. They more they'll ask women out, past exes, former classmates, anything goes, the more odds of having sex. So that's a win move for LVM. They are motivated by sex, and don't give a shit about women's emotions, they're annoyances. LVM will also have a bunch of women they talk to at the same time. But no, Joanna is the "only one he's talking to". They'll lie their asses off if that means protecting their odds of having sex.

If a LVM thinks sex might happen soon, he'll persevere the masquerade. But most aren't that endurant. A lot drop it after 3-4 weeks, the most endurant hold on for 2 months or something like that. Say no. Insist that you don't want to engage in sex and that you want to take it slow. Pump those damn BRAKES!

The instant you whiff anything LVM, dump. Don't even feel bad. LVM are EVERYWHERE. You'll find other men out there easy. They're rich, poor, prestigious, rednecks, academic, blue collar, whatever, they're everywhere. But their $$$$ or their network isn't worth a miserable lifetime. NEXT!!

#LVM #hypergamy

[lighthouseas]

hi all! i know that i haven’t posted for a while, but since the end of the year is fast approaching, i thought i’d make a post detailing my appreciation for my lovely mutuals . (if you saw this post earlier because tumblr was being a bitch, no you didn’t <3333)

anyway, without further ado- and in no particular order-

bee’s end-of-the-year MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST!!!

@hazmatazz - OHHH MAN. SILLY GUY ALERT. starting off strong with the lovely the amazing the fantabulous HAZ HAZMATAZZ. haz, being your friend and fellow Silly Squad member has been such an honor. you’re so funny and sweet and smart and make the best posts that make me giggle. and even though i don’t talk in it much, seeing so many Shenanigans go down in the discord server is seriously the funniest thing. I could just. squish you. you make me so happy and it’s an honor to be your friend. seriously hope 2024 treats you amazingly bc you deserve all of it <3333

@cannibalismyuri - SARA!!!! sara my lovely ohhh you are. the funniest. seriously. i have been reduced to Tears of laughter from posts on your blog. you have such an energy about you that is completely unmatched. even with Fandom Weirdness and the like, you’ve still pulled through and kept being your silliest self (and let me be silly with you which is awesome), and i commend you for that. aaaand not to get sappy or whatever but i really do look up to and admire you. you inspire me a lot. also, i love your new url. i want to eat it. pun intended. HAVE THE BEST 2024 EVER <3333

@qulizalfos - LIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. everyone listen up okay. liza is the loml IF ANYONE EVEN CARESSS. liza oh my god i adore you and your endless enthusiasm. seriously your comments on tsad are comments that i look back on when i need motivation because they’re just. so sweet. you are so sweet. we’ve only been mutuals since this SUMMER and yet it feels like we’ve known each other forever. i love screaming about things with you and i love the fact that my FIC is in your BIO??? HELLOOOO??? also okay. can we talk about your writing and art. liza i cannot say ENOUGH how talented you are. if i could staple your fics and art to the entire st fandom’s forehead so they would have to look at it forever then i would. your brain is so ginormous and the way you describe things and think about things is something i could only dream of doing. literally adore everything about you and wish i could hang out with you and wayli so we could all be a little insane together <33333 love you. LOVE YOUUUU I hope 2024 is awesomesauce for you <33333333

@wayward-sherlock - SPEAKING of wayli. oh wayli. if i had time to write a 10 page essay detailing how much of an impact you have had on me i would. seriously though you are just the sweetest, kindest, and most positive person ever. seeing you blow up my notes makes me grin So Hard because like oh man. wayli likes my blog. THEEE wayli thinks i’m cool. wtfff….anyway. you are so smart and it shows in your literally breathtaking writing and analysis (ANALYSIS FIRM!!!) you’re so perceptive and it honestly blows me away. reading your writing is so mesmerizing and just. sends me on an adventure. actually just scrolling through your BLOG sends me on an adventure because you always have the best stuff on there. honestly, I just wanna give you the biggest hug and tell you how awesome you are because rambling in a tumblr post simply is not enough. all’s that to say, i’m really looking forward to this coming year that will hopefully include more screaming about fanfiction in our discord messages and more of us being friends. because i love being your friend and it’d be so awesome if one day we could hang out together and be a tad Insane. doopel dopple gang STICKS TOGETHER AMIRITE?? anyway. i love you so much and wish you all the best in 2024 <333333

@antibyler - spencer HIII i know it’s been a minute since we last talked but can i just say that it has been an HONOR being your mutual this year. you’re so cool and fun and easy to talk to and also are a Fellow NHIE Fan which makes you even cooler. don’t think i’ve ever seen a bad opinion on your blog, which i know is saying a lot but it’s true To Me okay. seriously could never ever imagine Not following spencer basiltonpitch antibyler because like. that’s some essential dash content right there. THEEE blog to ever. makes the tumblr experience about 2034549650 times better. hope 2024 treats you wonderfully, my triple b mutual WOO <3

@versa-vices - FINNIEEEE!!!!!! you are my sunshine my special sunshine you make me happyyyyyyyy when skies are grayyyy….like actually though you are such a sunshine. seeing your comments on my posts never fails to make me giggle. a Silly Squad member that’s for sure. but like. being your tumblr bestie this past year has been so much fun. hanging out on the dash together and being Slightly Unhinged in the discord messages has been one of the highlights of my year. you’re so sweet and lovely and i don’t think it would be tumblr without you (those 10 minutes where you deactivated were HARD man okay. what am i supposed to do without u :(() okay anyhoo. thank you for being the bestest ever and hope 2024 treats you well <333

@light-lanterne - angel hiii! it’s been a bit since we’ve interacted but i needed to talk about how kind and patient you’ve been throughout literally everything because tumblr can be a little much sometimes. your kindness and determination to make so many beautiful graphics is absolutely incredible. i still look back on the graphics you’ve made for my fics sometimes, and it’s just…amazing. you’re so talented both in your art and your writing. when times got tough in the Fandom, i could always count on your blog to be a cozy and warm retreat from the craziness. it’s an honor to be your mutual, and i hope 2024 treats you kindly, because you seriously deserve it <33

@booksandpaperss - ELLI HIII!! holy shit one of my oldest mutuals. here when the ancient scrolls were written. elli , you have made my fandom experience so much more enjoyable. what with your huge brain and amazing takes, you always keep things real and i admire that about you. you’re also just. so easy to talk to. both because you’re ridiculously funny and also because you’re so nice to me like what. i love Discussing things with you, especially when it felt like we were sitting in a corner sipping tea and having a grand old time while the entire fandom went batshit. uscore fr. also, your comments on tsad…dude…they made me and STILL make me tear up. you read everything with such an attentive eye and then give the sweetest compliments on it. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. you’re just. so awesome okay. never forget that. hope u have a wonderful 2024 <3333

@karenchildress - hi jo!!!!!!!!!! i know we don’t interact as much but like. you’re such a joy to see on the dash i’m being so fr right now. how are you so funny like some of your posts still make me laugh to this day. you also keep things Real which i appreciate a lot, people tend not to do that nowadays T-T. we need more jo karenchildresses in the st fandom i think. things would improve marginally. anyway. keep being cool and fun and hope 2024 brings you much joy <3

@homohabu - oh man you’re just. you’re so nice. your blog is so inviting and has the loveliest colors all over it that make me very happy. you’ve always been so lovely to me and it makes me smile. you’re also another one of my oldest mutuals…and you’ve still stuck around through everything. thank you for having an awesome blog and being an awesome person! hope 2024 is good for you!!!!!!!!

@kuntniss - sierra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hiiiii it’s been a minute but can i just say that your blog makes me so so so super happy whenever i look at it. both your reblogs and original posts are just. great vibes. great vibes all around. you’ve been so nice to me this past year and it’s seriously been so wonderful interacting with you and looking forward to seeing your posts. being your mutual is so fun. i hope 2024 brings you so many good things, you deserve all of them <33333333

@weirdo09  - cade! i know you haven’t been online in a while but i just wanted to say that you’ve been such a wonderful friend to me this past year. you’re so creative and i loved hearing your ideas in my inbox and getting tagged in your wonderful. i hope you’re doing okay now, because you were honestly such a joy to see on the dash and in my notes. also, your ever changing themes were always a nice surprise to come across when i opened your blog, lol. hope 2024 treats you well :)

@holyvirgilscriptures - virgil !!!! oh my god i adore your blog so badddd like. i could seriously scroll through it forever it’s just banger after banger after banger. you always have the best takes on like. Everything. also FELLOW TAWOG BROTHER IN ARMS HELLOOOO !!!! BEST TASTE IN MEDIA AWARD GOES TO YOU MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. you have made this year so so so enjoyable just with the Existence of your blog. this coming year i hope we can interact a bit more because you’re super awesome <333 may 2024 bring you many good things! 

@ollsonline - oliver <3333 my lovely. since we became mutuals you have been nothing but the sweetest, kindest, friendliest person to me. you’re so welcoming to everyone and it absolutely warms my heart. you’ve been such an amazing friend to me this year and we should totally talk more because you’re super cool and awesome also!!! thank you for being the best and i hope 2024 treats you kindly <3

okay that’s all i’ve got! to any mutuals i did not get to mention: i love you so much. you have made The Tumblr Experience that much more bearable with your endless kindness. i love all of you so much, and am wishing you a happy new year through the screen! MWAH!!!!!!!

#if we are mutuals and i did not mention you here I PROMISE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH #i just have like. 40 mutuals and could not feasibly mention All Of Them but please know that i love and appreciate all of you and the #-interactions we have <3 #okay. if tumblr deletes this one im going to maul someone #bee.txt #mutuals 💫 #<- throwback tag #also pretend noah pimplepogue is here. okay. hes deactivated but he is here too in Spirit