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seven-oomen · 3 years

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Every road leads to you chapter 1 | Sambucky a/b/o mpreg

Note: obvious tags for this are a/b/o and eventual mpreg. Alpha Sam, Omega Bucky, Bucky deal with CPTSD, missing scenes, canon compliant, canon continuation, frenemies to friends to lovers, roommates, only one bed. Probably a few more tropes. tbh I wrote this chapter in like a day, posting it here first because I wanna finish the whole fic before posting it to Ao3 but hoping to get some feedback for it here. So I hope you like it. Let me know if you do.

“Stop the car!”

Goddamn Walker and his goddamn fucking mouth. He couldn’t believe this shit. Battlestar. More like throwing away everything Steve had ever stood for. These two, Walker and Hoskins, they weren’t fit to defend the mantle of Captain America. They were soldiers, not good men. He hated their freaking guts for that.

Sam should have never given up that shield.

He stalked further down the road, past the bus stop and onto a smaller road that wound back to town without looking back.

“It’s always that last line.” Sam said after a short back and forth with Walker and not long after Sam’s footsteps trailed after him.

“Buck, wait up!”

He kept walking, trying to contain the anger boiling under his skin. Pulsing and creeping up, threatening to overload his nervous system at the slightest touch. He took a deep breath instead and released it slowly. Trying to calm the waving energy inside of him.

Just keep breathing. Everything is going to be okay.

Sam fell into step beside him, his eyes practically burning holes into the side of his face. Though he paid it no mind.

“You’re not going to talk to me, are you?”

He glared at Sam but slowed down his pace just a little to allow the Alpha to keep up with him. As much as he usually enjoyed bantering with the other man, right now everything was just too much. And even Sam’s words echoed in his head and threatened to overload his entire system.

Sam, thankfully, understood.

“Alright. Let’s find a phone. Call Torres.”

He looked at Sam for a moment. The Alpha didn’t judge him for his mood, simply understood what he needed and left it at that. Honestly, it was nice for a change. He sighed, fishing his still working cellphone out of his pocket and handed it to Sam.

“Here.”

Clearly, Sam hadn’t expected that. But the smile Sam gave him created a pleasant warm feeling in the pit of his stomach and eased the pulsing energy through his body just a little. In a way, it was soothing to see him smile.

“Thanks Buck.”

“You’re welcome.”

Two short phone calls later they were on their way to the airport in a cab, their knees touching and only the sound of Taylor Swift singing over the radio surrounding them. Even the driver was quiet.

He still noted the driver’s glances between the two of them but didn’t comment on it since the chubby man didn’t either. He figured the man had bigger problems in his life than having an unmated Alpha and Omega sitting in the back of his cab. Having the kind of walrus mustache the man sported, had to be one of them.

Sam kept sneaking glances between him and the driver, his lips curled up in an amused smile. Almost as if he knew the kind of things he was thinking. It was a little weird, a little endearing, mostly just annoying. He raised an eyebrow at the behavior and leaned back with a smirk when Sam just glared at him and crossed his arms.

Damn right.

Though a small part of him winced at the way his gut twisted at Sam’s reaction. When was the last time he’d taken his suppressants? A quick silent count said he’d taken all of them. So that couldn’t be why he was having a reaction. What else could it be though?

Torres welcomed them at the airport, thankfully Walker or Hoskins were nowhere to be seen. A small miracle all things considered, but a very welcome one.

“Plane’s fueled and ready to go when you are.”

“Then let’s take off, I’ve had enough of Germany for now.” Sam said.

He followed, trailing after Sam into the cargo hold of the plane where they would undoubtedly spend the next few hours just staring ahead. And maybe even getting some sleep if they were lucky enough.

It took a few hours for them to get bored enough. He certainly didn’t know what to do with himself and Sam was on the verge of a mental breakdown judging the by the way he was glaring at him. Then again, if Sam had been mindlessly pacing up and down the cargo hold he’d probably be in the same state.

“Would you please just sit down?”

His fingers twitched at those words yet he did stop. Hands clenching and unclenching in an effort to get rid of some of his excess energy.

“I can’t. I’m restless.” He was. It felt like a dozen fire ants were crawling up and down his spine and the only way to alleviate that feeling was by pacing around the plane.

“I can see that, but you’re making me restless. Come on.” Sam beckoned him closer.

It was… tempting to sit down beside him and allow Sam to calm him. He couldn’t do that though. Couldn’t let anyone get that close. He didn’t know if Sam knew what he was, they didn’t talk much about that stuff. And a part of him never wanted Sam to find out either. He didn’t want to lose this edge of whatever it was that was between them. In a way it was comforting to know that someone didn’t take his bullshit, that someone still called him out on his stupid ideas.

He sat down on the floor opposite Sam, his back propped up against some crates and the tips of his toes not quite touching Sam’s.

Sam merely stared at him for a moment, then leaned forward and offered him his hands. “Gimme your hands.”

“No.” His first reaction was to lean back further and glare. Sneering at the hands he was offered.

Though Sam didn’t budge or get angry at his behavior and stayed calm. Within minutes his shoulders relaxed just a little and he laid his hands in Sam’s with a soft grumble.

“Fine.”

“Good, now breathe.” Sam said, taking a deep breath in. “In, hold it-” He paused for a few seconds, then released his breath “-and out slowly. Repeat.”

“You’re playing therapist now are you?” He appreciated Sam’s help, truly, he did. But there was always a part of him that just wanted to rile Sam up. Just to see if he could.

“No, I just want some goddamn peace and quiet without you pacing a hole through the floor and this is probably the best way to get that.” Sam bit back, the corners of his lips curling up.

It did something to him. A warmth that pooled in his stomach and slowly traveled to his heart and eased the little aches, pains, and pulses of his body. God he could drown in those dark eyes all night.

He blinked rapidly at that thought, only then realizing that his breathing had synched up with Sam’s and they were calmly breathing in and out together. How had that happened? Even his own therapist hadn’t been that effective in getting him to calm down.

He hadn’t even noticed he had exposed the dog tags around his neck for Sam to see. His full name and designation clearly stamped and visible.

James B. Barnes O

32557038 T41 42 O

R.Barnes

3092 Stoorton RD

Shelbyville IN P

Sam didn’t seem to care either way. “Better?”

He nodded, quickly pulling his hands away from Sam’s when Sam’s thumb brushed over the back of his hand. “Yeah…”

“Good. Let me know if you feel restless, we’ll do it again.” Sam leaned back and closed his eyes, his breathing slowly evening out.

He honestly didn’t understand it. Sam had had every opportunity to absolutely obliterate him and yet he hadn’t. Anything vulnerable he showed him, any kind of weakness he had, for once it wasn’t used against him. Sam treated him like a person. He never really noticed that before, or it hadn’t registered this clearly. It was too easy to forget when he was around Sam, too easy to just fall in beside him and joke and snap along. It scared him just a little.

It also gave him hope.

Maybe that’s why he brought Sam to Baltimore.

He should have known things would go south real quickly.

“How come nobody ever told me about him?” Sam’s voice was full of fire and emotion and yet it cut him cold across the chest. He wasn’t sure if he deserved that reaction, but he understood it in a way.

“Steve didn’t know and I didn’t-” He ran a hand through his hair, sighing “-I didn’t tell anybody because he’d already been through enough.”

The sharp sound of sirens pulled him out of his thoughts and brought an entirely new problem with it. Before he knew it, he was the one escorted into a police car with his hands cuffed. He missed his court mandated therapy. Wasn’t that a fucking joke?

He spared one glance at Sam just as the car pulled away from the scene and immediately wished he hadn’t. The look Sam gave him hurt more than any punch ever had and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why. He didn’t owe Sam anything. And yet it felt like he just lost his entire world.

“I’m sure everything will be sorted quickly, Mr. Barnes.” One of the cops, the shorter one, said. He was quite a bit more nervous now than he had been when he thought Sam had been an aggressor, possibly because he feared repercussions from profiling an Avenger. Good. Maybe it would make him think twice about pulling shit like that, though a part of him very much doubted it.

He simply glanced at them in the rear view mirror, feeling an almost sick sense of satisfaction as that unnerved both of the cops further. He didn’t say anything to them despite their attempts at making small talk with him.

What was the fucking point anyway?

He didn’t expect Sam to come get him at the station. Seeing him there felt like a slap to the face. Not because Sam had done anything wrong, no he’d done everything right. And that’s exactly what hurt so much.

The doc seemed hell bent on getting him to open up about his problems. And as much as he didn’t really want to he found himself opening up anyway.

“Well in my miracle, he would talk less.” He said, glaring at Sam as he said it. And maybe that was a bit harsh, but Sam took it like a champ and threw it right back at him. God how he wanted to shut him up in that moment. Though in what way he wasn’t quite sure. In the last day his emotions had been all over the place.

He wanted to hate Sam, but he couldn’t. Something deep inside him just couldn’t hate him for any of this. Not when he himself had done so much worse.

The doc didn’t seem that pleased with them. Honestly, she should have known better. “You guys are leaving me with no choice. It’s time for the soul gazing exercise.”

Now that, he actually liked. “I like this one a lot better.”

“Oh god he’s gonna love this.” Sam said.

“Oh yeah, I’m ready.”

They scooted close, legs intertwining as they sat opposite one another. Once again he was staring into deep brown eyes except this time Sam’s warmth also seeped into him. In a way it was like touching spring for the first time since a cold winter. Warm and pleasant with just enough breeze to keep you alert and in the moment. It was both heaven and earth on hell and he wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face. He didn’t. He couldn’t.

Because punching Sam wouldn’t solve anything. It wouldn’t give him closure. It wouldn’t bring Steve back. Steve, who had walked out on him and left him in a time he barely knew just to get his own happy ending. Yeah maybe that had left him a little bitter and a little broken.

“Why’d you give up the shield?”

He poured his heart into his words and bared his soul wide open and it didn’t seem to matter to Sam. So maybe Steve had been wrong about him. About both of them. Maybe he didn’t deserve redemption or compassion. Maybe he didn’t deserve a second chance. And maybe he didn’t deserve Sam’s kindness or compassion either. Maybe he was just broken.

“See you outside, Buck.”

Maybe he was just too broken to function after all.

“Thanks doc.” He followed after Sam, quiet and brooding on the outside but his mind was screaming and crying in agony.

Worthless. He was just so fucking worthless.

He shouldn’t care this much.

He didn’t deserve to care this much.

Maybe that’s why he suggested to go the HYDRA route and find Zemo, or maybe it was a form of self sabotage. Who knew? All he knew, was that this was his last chance to do something right for this world. No matter what it would cost him.

#sambucky #winterfalcon #marvel fanfiction #sam wilson #bucky barnes #avengers a/b/o #mpreg #tw cptsd #canon compliant #my writing

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gutwrenchflowerbomb · 3 years

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Note: This is long but I felt like getting it out there not just for the sake of newer fans but because it’s been a long time since I’ve written about wrestling and I’d like to get into the habit again.

So I’m still pretty new to the current form of WRESTLING TUMBLR™️ but I am a Tumblr vet (joined in May of ‘09 baybee). I am also a vet when it comes to being a wrestling fan. I’m talking 25 years (since I was 10). And I feel this urge to be the cool aunt to all the newer and/or younger fans. I don’t wanna act like I am some super authority figure or that my thoughts and opinions are fucking gospel, but like...apply the wisdom I’ve learned over the years.

Especially as someone whose favorite wrestlers tend to be somewhere in the lower to upper mid-card range.

There is a lot of anger/disappointment/etc right now regarding AEW and some of the recent booking and I just wanna say a few things about it that hopefully will resonate or ease some of that.

-People who are upset with Kenny and/or the Bucks being the champs because they are EVPs :

They deserve it. Why? Because AEW is their baby. Yes, Tony Khan is a big part of it but ultimately the Bucks, Kenny and Cody are the originators. They took a huge risk and it has paid off handsomely. So why is it that just because they happen to be EVPs that means they can never be booked to win big? This whole industry is and has been booked that way. Plus, it’s not like they put the straps on themselves instantly. It’s been over a year and I think it’s fair to say they earned it. Also: they won’t have them forever. Wrestling isn’t fun when the belts never switch hands. We know this and they know this as well.

- Chuck and Trent being underutilized and Orange Cassidy being pushed the moon:

I am a HUGE Best Friends fan. Have been for years. In fact, one of the first shirts I ever bought that wasn’t WWE was a Best Friends shirt and I’ve worn that bitch to All In, Double or Nothing, All Out and Revolution. Do I think they could be on Dynamite more often? Sure. Do I think they are being buried or anything like that in favor of Orange? It’s not that simple.

I love OC. He’s cool, fantastic in the ring, looks good but most of all he is just soooo different than what most casual wrestling fans are used to. In this case, it’s worked out to his (and the company’s) advantage. I can’t tell you how many videos I’ve seen online that show people who don’t know shit about wrestling reacting to him in the ring. The Buzz is good and the result is TNT is VERY interested in OC. We all know TK loves him too. The result has been Orange getting more screen time. But I hope most folks realize this is not his fault. Plus, there’s always gonna be like...designated roles in a wrestling stable. There’s gonna be your singles guys, the tag teams and sometimes a woman or two. It’s just naturally how stables are. And people who are in stables generally are seen supporting their fellow members.

The Best Friends do appear to be on the back burner as far as storyline/prominence goes right now and that’s ok. There is so much talent on that roster, especially in the tag division. If you pull back and look at the episodes objectively, you’ll see that they (the bookers) really try to get everyone screen time as much as possible. When’s the last time PnP had a match? Or Jurassic Express? I can count on one hand the number of times TH2 have been on dynamite this year. That means that a lot of times a team won’t actually have a match on Dynamite for a while. They usually try to even that out by having them on Dark. Again, that is ok. The only alternatives to this would be to A.) cut screen time to several other performers in favor or just one or two teams or B.) have more performers on but the matches would have to be cut to 3-7 minutes. Personally, I would rather have longer matches less often then every week have some dumb ass short matches.

- My favorite ______ deserves ___!

Listen, everyone has favorites and naturally we all want to see our favorites as much as possible and want them to be dripping in championships. The reality is, if the same people/teams are the champions all the time it’s boring as fuck. Seriously. In good companies, there is a nice ebb and flow of changing of championships. Titles changes that happen too often lose their prestige. When they take too long to change hands it becomes boring and predictable.

In my over two decades of watching wrestling I’ve learned to embrace this. When your favorite finally gets booked in a higher profile feud, it makes it all that much more exciting and important. Take my current favorite AEW star: I am patiently waiting for Colt Cabana to get something bigger than his current position in the Dark Order. It may be a while. It might be in a few weeks. In the mean time, I just appreciate it when I get to see him at all.

- The women’s division is trash in AEW right now

It could be better, but believe me: it could be way fucking worse. If any of you remember the Diva’s Championship era of WWE know what the hell I’m talking about. I think that right now, with Covid-19 and injuries for some performers, the women’s division is in a holding pattern. It sucks. There’s no way around it. If you watch Dark, that’s where the ladies shine. There is often 3-5 women’s matches on there and they feature some bigger players and some lesser known jobbettes. Sometimes that means there’s a squash match. But often the performers are given a solid 6+ minutes to go at it. That doesn’t sound long but it’s actually pretty generous especially for those performers who are new/unknown. Yet on Dynamite we usually only get one MAYBE two matches and generally it’s involving the same people.

I think this is probably going to continue to be the case until the pandemic is under control and they are able to travel again. Not just travel in the sense of going to different cities, but also travel for performers. I personally cannot wait until we get some of the wonderful Joshi ladies back in the mix. I honestly think AEW really truly wants to have the women in their company to shine as bright as the men but they are struggling to figure it out. When the company was started, they had some big, well known names in the men’s division i.e. Chris Jericho. I mean, Double or Nothing we got Mox debuting. That’s some name recognition that the women’s division didn’t get and I think they have suffered because of it. That doesn’t mean that the women are any worse than men or that they are any worse than other companies’ women’s divisions.

I hope if anyone actually read all this comments to let me know what they think. Again, I never want to come off as an elitist (lol) or know-it-all but rather like the weird old cat-lady who’s lived through some.

#aew #all elite wrestling #personal opinion #kenny omega #the young bucks #best friends #orange cassidy #chuck taylor #trent?#wrestling #pro wrestling #colt cabana #long post #seriously this is a long ass post

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ca1e70-deactivated · 4 years

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a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:

name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity

im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years.

i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)

whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)

ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS

i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism

the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid.

im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis

i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later

i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.

talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)

every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best.

one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)

theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever.

he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.

i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment)

im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH

hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.

ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.

the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair.

he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going.

THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY

#theres probably so many more i mean #ive been on parp for at least 5-6 years now #ive been on cherubplay probably the same amount of time #and my memory is totally shot to fuck but these are just what i know ive done in the last YEAR #or thought were wild enough to remember #i put it under a read more bc frankly its really fucking long #and i dont want this to represent me entirely #these are also heavily situational based and not like. emotion or reaction based much?#some of them are #i guess i could rename this to like. things ive done on parp #but theyre technically still headcanons a lot of them can coincide with whatever #so theyre not very specific situations #anyways #this took me an hour

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crypticcravings · 5 years

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Christmas Bug Chapter 3

It’s finally here! Six months late! @adventures-in-mangaland Merry Christmas in June! Here’s the final chapter in your Secret Santa gift!

Also on Ao3

Marinette wasn’t able to fully process her discovery until she was finally alone the next day. She’d passed the last twelve hours as if she were watching a scene in a movie instead of actually experiencing it.

Looking back on the past ten years, there were plenty of signs. Adrien disappeared with thinly veiled excuses about as often as she did, and now she understood why. Not that she had questioned it much in the past. She had been too focused on getting away herself to think about what he was doing. And Cat Noir had shown signs, too. The feather allergy should have been the first indication, but lots of people had allergies! Why should she question that?

By that afternoon, she was wondering how she could have been so blind. It seemed so obvious.

Now that she thought about it, with Hawkmoth “defeated”--that’s what they were saying, at least, since he had been so silent for the past few years-- they didn’t have any real reason to hide their identities from one another. Not anymore. Though neither one had brought it up to each other in several years.

Maybe it was time to do so.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Adrien was ecstatic. The date was set. Christmas eve, he would make Marinette a nice, romantic dinner, then they would browse through the Christmas Market at the base of the Eiffel Tower. He would wait until the sun was setting, and he would get down on one knee and ask her to marry him. Then, they would return to his apartment where they would have dessert with some of their friends and family to celebrate. It was a simple plan. Maybe a little bit cliche, but he stood by it. After all, the only thing he cared about was spending his life with this lovely lady.

Now, all that's left was to wait.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She was being weird. She knew she was being weird, but she couldn’t stop. The only contact she’d had with Adrien/Cat Noir in the last 24 hours since her discovery had been through a couple of quick text messages between his ever busy schedule. But it was patrol night, and she’d been forced to face him without the buffer of a screen between them. For some reason, the mask of composure she’d had the day before with Adrien left her. Something about the knowledge that it was her boyfriend, her supermodel, amazingly attractive, pun loving, ever supportive boyfriend poured into that leather cat suit made her brain short circuit. And she was having a hard time convincing herself that this was the first time she’d noticed how much she enjoyed looking at him in it.

She was sure he noticed how wildly she swung between tense silence and near incoherent babbling. Fortunately enough, even Cat Noir was used to her occasional strange moods and didn’t pry, trusting her to come to him when the time was right. It hadn’t always been that way. When they were younger, he had poked and prodded at her over every little thing. But at some point, he began to realize that the easiest way to get her to open up to him was to give her some space to sort things out on her own first, even if he really wanted to know.

Guilt gnawed at her. She wanted to tell him, she realized, that she had figured him out. She hadn’t been looking, but she’d found him anyway. Keeping this knowledge behind his back felt like a violation.

Unfortunately, she was never good at finding the right moments for revelations like these. They patrolled for an hour and a half, and the entire time, she couldn’t bring herself to broach the subject of their identities. So, she sent him off with a halfhearted, unenthused “see ya later” before swinging off to her own apartment for a late night stress snack and another fitful night’s sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Work kept Marinette blessedly busy the next day. She wasn’t sure if she could take much more of her brain turning over itself. Between the need to confess, the now obvious signs that she kept going over and over in her mind that her boyfriend was her partner all along, and the now growing excitement at that discovery, she was getting emotional whiplash. But, the office would be closed for the next few days for the holiday, and Marinette had quite a bit of work to get done before she locked up her desk for the break.

She was midway through making some changes that a senior designer marked on her sketches when her text tone buzzed on her phone. Tikki brought the device across the room so that Marinette barely had to put down her pencil to check the message.

Adrien: Date night. 1630 tomorrow. Don’t forget!

Adrien: And leave your design book at the office this time.

Marinette snorted. As if she would actually forget about their Christmas Eve date. Most families would be spending the evening together and having a nice, formal dinner. Adrien and his father hadn’t had such a tradition in years, and Marinette’s family opted to just celebrate on Christmas day when they could convince her grandparents to come together. So, for the past four Christmases, ever since they started university, Marinette and Adrien had spent the holiday-eve together.

And this year’s date would be the perfect setting for her to confess her recent discovery.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Adrien’s heart was officially pounding right out of his chest.

Dinner had been spectacular, of course. The restaurant he’d selected was a small, newly opened bistro within a short walk of the Eiffel Tower. They’d had roasted capon, greens, and potatoes that were all even better than his father’s private chefs had ever made, leaving the two of them stuffed. It hadn’t taken much to steer Marinette away from the dessert menu. He couldn’t very well tell her that her parents were at his apartment putting the finishing touches on their celebration sweets.

Fortunately, she mentioned a craving for mulled wine, allowing Adrien the perfect segue into the Christmas market.

It was already dark by the time they arrived at the base of the tower, and it was predictably busy, which did put a small damper on the idyllic, romantic picture Adrien had painted in his mind, but his plans were far from ruined. How could they be when his beautiful girlfriend looked so precious all bundled up, blowing on her steaming mug of wine?

Her hair was pulled back into low twin tails, a style he hadn’t seen her wear in several years. It reminded him of their high school years. Her little, upturned nose was rosy from the chill, and her delicate fingers clutched the souvenir mug tightly to leech its warmth.

In a few minutes, she was going to be his fiancée . If she said yes, that is. Plagg, Nino, Alya, and her parents had repeatedly assured him that she would say yes, would never even consider saying no. Even he knew his fears were baseless, but he couldn’t help the trill of anxiety that rang through him.

He took a deep breath, steadying himself, before leading Marinette a little bit away from the packed crowds of the Christmas Market. They walked quietly down the Champs de Mars , away from the tower, until it stood brightly over them. The crowd around them thinned out to the point that they had some measure of privacy.

The little velvet box was heavy in his pocket.

As the two of them approached an unoccupied bench, Adrien glanced up at the starless night sky, then to his girlfriend’s pink cheeks.

Her clear blue eyes met his, the corners crinkling with the brightness of her smile, and he knew more than ever that he wanted to spend his life with this woman. That thought pushed past all remaining anxiety that muddled his brain.

Without another moment of hesitation, Adrien placed his hands over Marinette’s where she clutched the mug of wine. Her eyes widened and the chilled flush of her cheeks deepened. Adrien gave her a reassuring smile as he took the mug from her hands and placed it on the bench next to them. He kept one hand on her’s, a serene feeling he hadn’t expected filling his very soul as he took a deep breath and reached into his jacket pocket.

“Marinette, the last five years with you have been some of the best of my life,” Adrien began, the words he’d been rehearsing in front of his mirror for days tumbling out of him. He pulled the small, green box out of his pocket and braced himself to get down on one knee.

Marinette’s wide eyes locked onto that little box. He heard her breath catch, felt the way her fingers tightened around his. The redness in her cheeks rose even more.

“They’ve been the best in my entire life, and that’s why I have something very important to ask you.” But just as Adrien began to sink to his knee--

“I know your secret,” Marinette exclaimed.

Well that was...not even remotely what he was expecting her to say. Adrien nearly toppled over as his balance faltered. Her firm grip on his hand kept him upright and he returned to full height. His brows knit together.

He opened his mouth to ask what she was talking about when she cut him off again, her voice much quieter this time,but still carrying that same heat as before. “I know that you’re Cat Noir.”

His eyes widened, and his heart stopped dead in his chest. Panic tried to rise, but at the moment he was too dumbfounded to even get that far. “I--” On impulse, he tried to come up with some kind of excuse. He was suddenly fourteen again, trying to explain his tardiness to a stern physics teacher. Say something, idiot!

But Marinette continued. “It’s not like you’re bad at hiding it or anything. You’re actually really good at keeping it a secret. And it’s not your fault that I know, either! I don’t want you to feel like you’ve done anything wrong, but I had to tell you because it isn’t fair that I know, and you didn’t know that I know, and you don’t know about me either. That would be so messed up, right?” She let out a strangled laugh and slapped her free hand against her forehead. “I’m rambling.” She took a deep breath to steady herself.

Adrien waited, not wanting to interrupt, and afraid to even breathe.

“I know you’re Cat Noir because I’m Ladybug.” Marinette tucked one of her ponytails behind her ear, revealing the same reddish-black earrings she’s worn the entire time he’s known her.

Earrings, he suddenly realized, that looked a lot like what Ladybug’s miraculous would look like in their dormant state.

Adrien’s eyes brightened as he took the woman in front of him in. Long, low pigtails that had once been Marinette’s signature look. That continued to be a part of Ladybug’s.

Deep, blue eyes that narrowed when she was lost in thought, and the little upturned nose that scrunched up when she laughed.

It was like a grimy film was suddenly washed clean and he could see Marinette for the first time. And what he saw was His Lady.

Marinette fidgeted under his gaze, but did not let go of his hand.

Adrien didn’t let go, either.

Instead, with the little green box still in his grasp, he clutched her hand with both of his. He was sure any outsider would think him absolutely manic with how broadly he was grinning, but he didn’t care. “Well,” he remarked, unable to stifle the giddiness in his voice, “I guess the cat’s out of the bag.”

Marinette sputtered at the pun, but he ignored her, continuing, “And since I already told Ladybug the rest of my secrets, I’m sure you already know what I was going to ask you.”

“Ask me?” She blinked at him, a look of confusion crossing her face.

“That big, important question that I’ve been planning on asking my girlfriend. On Christmas Eve.” All anxiety about popping the question disappeared the moment she told him who she was. Whether they knew it or not, Ladybug and Cat Noir had always been a matching pair. He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arm around her waist. He flipped the lid of the ring box open and presented it to her for what he realized was the second time.

Marinette suddenly remembered the circumstances of her discovering his identity in the first place. She had been so wrapped up in figuring out how she was going to tell him she knew that she completely forgot that Cat Noir had been planning on proposing to his girlfriend on Christmas Eve. And if Cat Noir was Adrien, that made her Cat Noir’s girlfriend, which meant….

Marinette swallowed, her heart now racing for a totally new reason.

“So, Ladybug,” Adrien said, his feline grin making her brain short circuit, “The past ten years with you have been the absolute greatest in my life. Now that I know our history together goes so much deeper than friendship and romance, I know that there is no way I can live without you by my side. You are the bravest, smartest, strongest, most beautiful woman in the world. All I want is to build a life with you. A family. Marinette, My Lady, will you do this pitiful stray the honor of marrying me?”

Marinette’s eyes burned. As if he even had to ask. Throat tight, she finally managed to speak again. “Yes.”

At her breathless response, Adrien’s heart soared with joy. He closed the distance between them, tightening their embrace, and sealed the engagement with a kiss. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out what he had done to be so lucky as to marry the one true love of his life.

#cryptic fic #christmas bug #adrinette

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statemant · 5 years

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SUNDAY STATEMANTS - NO 1

This post is a solution that I have reached few days ago – due to having almost no time to create posts daily (while I really want to share my option), I thought of making one (longer) post on every Sunday (which I have mostly free – except fashion months) and combine everything that happened in Menswear during the past week – let’s see how It works out. So,

What would be the better start for the new format than Paris Men’s Fashion Week, that has just recently finished (on Sunday according to official FHCM schedule but actually on Monday with JACQUEMUS show).

FACTS

Runway Shows: 60 (according to official schedule)

Presentations: 27 (according to offial schedule)

Total Looks: Around 3500

Yes, when you combine the numbers, there’re fascinating results – there were around 3500 looks offered – just for Men, just in Paris – that is around 12000 pieces of clothing, 3500 pairs of shoes, around 2000 accessories – a lot! Especially considering the fact that few brands produce very identical outfits (in terms of fabrics, styling, vibes) and there’s a rapidly rising competition at Men’s fashion market. Thanks god Paris is the most diversified of them all and I could name like like only 7-8 brands that does not really fit in the schedule (compared to other 50 brands) – either they look similar, or I don’t get them (my problem?).

PALOMO SPAIN (18 June, 11:00)

The SS 2020 (that already sounds quite major itself) has started on Tuesday, 18th June, 11:00 AM with Palomo Spain (who returned in Paris after previous season’s try in NY) with some beautiful dresses – yes, you read it correctly. Designer thinks that none of the specific garments are made exclusilvey for any gender and that he sees many boys that could rock those chiffon garments – a significant part of the collection that was inspired by Pompeii.

BODE (18 June, 12:00)

Emily Adams Bode has just recently won CFDA Award (Emerging Designer of the Year) and there she was at 12:00 AM (straight after Palomo) in Paris, sending the collection that was inspired by her family’s history as wagonmakers for Circus in the early 1900s. She literally looked at the outfits from century ago and re-made them to keep appropriate with time.

AMI (18 June, 20:00)

My favorite Parisian house is becoming bigger and bigger every season (and it little bit worries me to be honest, strange no? Here’s why: what I always loved about AMI is that it’s one-off menswear-only brands that produces timeless men’s clothes in a very affordable prices (and in a perfect quality), everything in the collections always feels modern (with bit of a twist), the styling is always impeccable with unexpected colors combined together BUT! I kind of missed this in the latest collection, shown at Grand Palais, it felt little bit too dark and serious (especially for Summer collection), I’ve missed color and the sense of freshness. I did like what was shown, there is a lot I would wear myself (especially now when Black has become favorite of mine) but I kind of think I could find many of those pieces at other rival brands, I understand that now brand established itself and it just becomes matter of brand loyality, when you decide where to buy regular black trench coat - that’s where AMI is headed now I guess.

ACNE STUDIOS (19 June, 15:30)

With Ambition to Create Novel Expressions, Jonny Johansson (brand founder) presented the collection that felt little bit weird for me (a huge brand fan tbh). I totally loved the opening with beige shirt, styled with yellow scarf, but then I did not quite get printed cycling shorts, or lace insets, or pvc details (and bit more, tbh). It was kind of everything but kind of nothing notable (Luke Leith from Vogue Runway agrees), and I felt disappointed, especially after few very, very strong seasons and increasing fame (after so many years on the market). At least, some great blazers were there (thank god!).

J.W. ANDERSON (19 June, 13:00)

It’s a second time for Jonathan in Paris, after moving his namesake label from London (that probably made his 2 out of 3 famed iPhones busier than before). As one of the pioneers who pushed gender-fluid shapes since the very beginning of the career, designer has put signature pieces on the runway - including dresses worn by male models. Blazers and coats had wide shoulder extensions and pants included giant fringe insets. Some of the looks could be well-fitted at his Loewe (the show was day after this in the calendar) but this still feels ”harder” and more personal.

Y/PROJECT (19th June, 14:30)

Y/Project shows feel like a hard mathematical induction, you need a time to realize the logic behind and “solve” it, or maybe you don’t. Glenn Martens once again proved that there’s no stopping of him and he is cementing the brand aesthetic with gigantic steps every single season. For SS 20 (after showing previous Menswear at Pitti) distortion and asymmetric proportions became even more solid and serious. How can you not love the incredible outerwear, tailored blazers, knitwear and jaw-dropping denim pants – each of them proving that you can combine ugly and beautiful in a very smart way. One could analyze every single look in details, but I bet it would take a lots and lots and lots of time. Additional drama was brought by Bizet's "L'amour Est un Oiseau Rebelle" in one of the Parisian churches. It’s clear that brand’s approach to clothes are not welcomed just by fashion insiders or avid trend followers anymore, it’s just for everyone who love “smart”, fashion-forward and beautiful outfits (even if most of them are everything but classic understanding of beauty). There’s always a surprise cut or detail hidden in most of the Y/Project pieces, once you buy the garment, you get the freedom and possibility to wear it on your own way – I’ve seen myself three men wearing same Y/Project pieces in a completely different way in a same day.

VALENTINO (19 June, 17:30)

Pierpaolo Piccioli is keeping the youthful attitude with the insertion of loud graphic prints (this time deisgned by Roger Dean) at Valentino Men’s collections (continued from previous season’s UNDERCOVER collaboration) while keeping brand staple shapes and cuts and not following any of the ongoing trends as much, even the VLTN logo was gone this time (which makes me very happy), replaced with single vintage V sign. The signature camouflage sneaker (my first ever most expensive fashion purchase back in 2012) got upgrade shown alongside with new shapes. Long live Mr. Pierpaolo!

RAF SIMONS (19 June, 21:00)

Raf Simons clearly is not done with America. After leaving CALVIN KLEIN (end of 2018), it’s his second outing in Paris and I think he used this time to digest everything then to express all in his latest collection. It was very Raf, I feel like he was just being honest putting his feelings and thoughts as motifs (likes of: STONED AMERICA, etc) and showing that he was disappointed with America.

LOUIS VUITTON (20 June, 14:30)

Virgil Abloh has invited guests at Place Dauphine (Remember Carrie Bradshow walking there in SATC) and offered LV branded wooden green benches, crepes and ice creams, alongside with the beautiful collection. It was clear – Virgil has settled at the house in a year, already has several signature shapes (and lots of accessories) and as he mentioned he just (or “just”) wants to present collections that will be consistent, will help more men express themselves (and he has a huge fandom in that area) and he won’t push the exact specific inspirations (remember Michael Jackson case from previous season?). Show featured some mind-blowing floral pieces (in a form of signature harness, hat and various embroidery) modern tailoring (note: the colors), lots of mixtures of work wear with formal wear and many, many bags (some really hardcore shapes). Originally, show was planned around Notre Dame, but it had to be changed due to the recent fire (although the cathedral was still present as a motif on some of the pieces). In a few words – there’s no stopping for Virgil Abloh and his “work”.

DRIES VAN NOTEN (20 June, 16:30)

I can never describe my exact feelings about Dries. It means and express so much of everything for me. I just let clothes speak themselves – out of this world beauty, that is all things modern, masculine, sexy, sensual, rebellious, stylish - just b e a u t I f u l. Sometimes I cried…

VETEMENTS (20 June, 20:00)

I, myself predicted year ago that Vetements could go to McDonald’s one day - and it actually happened today. Guests went to Champs-Elysees branch of the restaurant (biggest one in Paris) to see the show that did not really shock anyone but I guess still brought the excitement to them. Show featured all things Capitalism and more - re-worked famous logos (Likes of Heineken, Vodafone, Internet Explorer to name a few), police-branded bombers, signature flower prints and awkward quotes - everything VETEMENTS has became known For. After previous season’s dark extravaganza (my least favorite show of the brand), they kind of got back to the roots and put everyone’s favorite parody and sarcasm backed pieces. Does it felt new? Ofc No, but still you do not get the fashion show at McDonald’s everyday (or at all) and condom as an invitation, so the mission that means making fashion more fun and sarcastic (but still sell it expensive) was again completed. One of the most interesting quotes that Demna Gvasalia has mentioned to Sarah Mower_ is that he always wanted to have his own celebration at McDonalds since 1997, when McD has opened in Tbilisi, Georgia (and I also remember that very day like it was yesterday, how happy I was to hold Happy Meal menu in my hands there) but he could complete it oy now, in Paris. I can’t stop loving the Gvasalias, for making my country on an international map by showcasing its darkest secrets to everyone!

BERLUTI (21 June, 13:00)

It’s Kris Van Assche’s 2nd runway show at Berluti and we kind of see where he is going - positioning brand as impeccable (quality-wise) tailor-maker with an youthful, modern touch (mostly expressed in vibrant colors of formal clothing alongside with layered styling). Featuring older models on the runway is a message that Berluti does not forget about mature customers but wants them to look modern. Despite the very strong comptetition in this particular niche (Dior Men's and Louis Vuitton Men's in the same holding as Berluti, LVMH), there's always a need for a good (and fashion-forward) tailoring.

JIL SANDER (21 June, 15:00)

If you thought Jil Sander could not get more sensitive and delicate, here you go with latest collection, as designers Lucie and Luke Meiers (wife and husband) mentioned in an interview with Alex Badia, they are showing their vision of tailoring, how they feel about the it and offering new ways of wearing it and it just feels right! I kind of feel the duo’s takeover at Jil Sander is still underrated and they are actual creators of the modern but absolutely timeless fashion!

SSS WORLD COPR (20 June, 11:00)

t’s a daddies world! Justin O’Shea keeps the dandy aesthetic and crazy prints on top of his brand, always showcasing at the fanciest locations of Paris - this time at Ritz, casting some really hot models who are actually various sport (boxing among them) athletes and maybe thats why all the extravagant prints felt more real and wearable than before. And I bet many of you saw the O’Shea serving the guests himself by champagne at the start and taking the bow while he was riding a bike - very casual, indeed.

DIOR MENS (21 June, 18:00)

Mr. Kim Jones was man of the hour (or the season) once again. He killed it 3rd time. With his couture-approach to the Men’s clothing (with continuous revisiting Dior’s women archives, especially Haute Couture alongside with John Galliano creations) and collaboratiosn with the hottest creative minds of the moment, Jones is just writing down history of modern menswear. This time it was Daniel Arsham, whom Kim contacted year ago with a request and to put his unique approach to the Dior pieces. Known formanipulating and reinterpreting existing materials and structures, Arsham has clearly engaged with Dior aesthetics and we have got some really extreme accessories (with Yoon Ambush included in the work). Appears, it’s not first time for Arsham working for Dior – back in 2005, Hedi Slimane commissioned him to design Dior’ Homme’s LA flagship. Wll, I just think of time, when they let Kim Jones take over entire Dior house (with rumors on Maria Grazia heading to Fendi after SS 20 show).

GmbH (21st June, 19:00)

Did you notice the evil eye? Hard not to! Serhat Isik and Benjamin Huseby literally decided to ”protect” models (and then customers) from the misfortune but making it look fashionable and wearable. Featuring the usual diverse and exotic casting, GmBH presented their best to date (imo) collection at the National Institute of Young Deaf People in Paris. It was all things GmbH does the best - tailoring mixed with sportswear paired with both formal and Asics collaboration shoes - and everything being as vegan as possible. Designer duo rapidly took the spot for one of the most anticipated shows at PFW and with every season they are showing a very logical development in all areas. They’ve easily made some of their signatures well-recognisable: would this be a double-zipper denim or their logo-branded pieces and now the broader introduction of accessories, they will surely strengthen their space in buyers order sheets and customers wallets - and the strange magical effect of the ”evil eye” should actually play the significant role.

SIES MARJAN (22 June, 13:00)

Sander Lak is the latest designer to move from NY to Paris (a step that has not been effective for Proenza or Rodarte, but still works for Altuzarra) and take Opera Bastille as a location for its debut Parisian show. Starting from knitted jampsuit (season’s trend) continued with beautiful segment of beiges (denim and cotton) and colorful crocodile-effect faux leather outwear, show also included variations on zebra print. Most of the pieces felt quite gender-fluid - all the pieces that were worn by male models could be well put on 6 females that also walked the show. Except SS 2020, show also featured Fall 2019 capsule pieces that will be available for purchase now. It all felt very modern and easily wearable - everything we all need now.

OFFICINE GENERALE (23 June, 10:00)

Peter Maheo always serves us with delightful Sunday morning breakfasts in Paris – no, there are no croissants or chocola-chauds, but some really chic Men’s clothes. I could spend entire Spring wearing the show’s opening look (mint tailored duo), or the second look, and third, and all of the 45 others. I love how Officine Generale has kept it consistent and doe not tries hard to present gimmicks that you can never wear – I just want them all!

LANVIN (23 June, 11:00)

After all the past year’s shake-overs at LANVIN , it seems that brand is on the way to settle and reboots itself with a fresh new page. Will this become a successful book tome? Only time will tell, but the foreword looks promising. It was a first Men’s show for house’s new creative director, Bruno Sialelli (who went from Loewe) and what he presented to audience made everyone think about only one thing – holidays! Staged around one of Parisian public pools, the show featured everything (and more) you associate with holidays – nautical stripes, bucket hats, sailor collars and even sleeping bags – white and blue shades dominated. LANVIN men now also wears printed sequin dress, azur intarsia knit jacket on a naked body and lots of baggy jumpsuits – and it all feels very young and naïve.

ALYX (23 June, 19:00)

Can we call it the coolest show of the season? It just amazes me how Matthew Williams managed to put the brand on top of the current fashion industry in such a short time. I guess the quality that you can feel all around the brand and a dedication that Matthew and her wife Jennifer Williams (who walked the show actually) put in their brand (they have moved from NY to Ferrara, Italy to oversee brand’s production in the local factories). The collection featured sharp and sophisticated shapes. Started with classy suits and quite sexy (women’s especially) looks, show continued with signature streetwear vibe, but it also felt very, very sophisticated and elegant (and that’s not wrong for streetwear, at all), outerwear was to die for - crocodile effect rubber-like coat just nailed it!

CELINE (23 June, 20:00)

With the second standalone Men’s show under the label, Hedi Slimane has presented “nostalgia for things I probably have never known” (read embroidery on a tote bag). It was classic Hedi (and it’s now a definition of particular style, not a single designer aesthetic), classic 70’s but felt still modern for me (and many argue on that). There’s clearly a huge market for what he is doing and with Saint Laurent making shifts to detach itself from Hedi (and CELINE as a brand), sales should be heading to the desired peak (LVMH plans to double brand sales with the help of Hedi in a short time).

JACQUEMUS (24 June, 17:00)

Do we need to say anything more on this show?

- - -

it was a season of SS 2019 (in June 2018) that made a huge breakthrough in Menswear – that was when Kim Jones and Virgil Abloh both had a debut seasons at Dior and Louis Vuitton and when Raf Simons returned to Paris – the craze that you could feel in Paris those days was insane, that was when everyone agreed that Menswear has its notable importance and it’s only gonna rise with every new season – with SS 2020 being fantastic continuation for that.

Oh and almost every designer mentioned how they are trying to be more sustainable, nature-friendly, gluten-free, etc…

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ladybuvelle · 5 years

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Dear mun, this probably should be a munday question but I am too impatient to wait: What do you think about the fact that probably in every iteration of Sona she is basically always the curviest woman around? Like does it affect you in your way you think about her? Or does it annoy you that sometimes it reduces her to "musician with a big ass and a massive rack" or anything along those lines? Or is it an absolute nonfactor? Maybe something you even additionally like about her?

// Well I mean, since it’s a question ABOUT Sona then it’s fine XD Munday would imply it’s about me! But hm. I’m of several minds about this sort of question.

When I started RPing as Sona, it was a very spontaneous decision I made several years ago in a roleplay chatroom that happened to have a League of Legends channel. Before then I’d never played a pre-established character. The idea seemed weird to me that people would even want or think they could RP as a character someone else had made and written out. It felt presumptuous. But being in a bad place in my life at the time and desperate to try anything new and find any kind of happiness, I made a new account and picked my main in LoL to play as: which at the time was Sona. I loved her play style in the game and I was pretty exclusively playing as her.

So initially I enjoyed Sona’s character for a lot of reasons that had nothing to do with how she looked. If anything, her look was kind of a problem. She’s basically a copy of Miku Hatsune. Even her whole thing about being mute as opposed to being a Vocaloid that sings and her theme of music is pretty obvious.

And beyond that, the whole blue-haired pigtail thing? A bit hard to take seriously!

When it comes to Sona’s figure as well, there’s totally a difference between fanon and canon. The community over the years would have to believe she’s s t a c k e d. While her chest certainly isn’t small, I would like to point out that Janna’s model actually has her chest jiggle. (Fun fact: Sona and Janna both have the same VA) Though it’s also hard to deny even glancing at, say, Muse Sona’s insane cleavage on her model. Like, woof. Those puppies are packed in there. As for her other curves, I don’t think we need to go into detail about DJ Sona and the massive booty.

But the models in-game have a variety of reasons why they’re designed the way they are. They have to be made with visibility, recognition, silhouette, and camera angle taken into account. There’s a rhyme and reason for most decisions why models look the way they do, and lately they’ve gotten a lot better and more detailed as well. Sona’s a bit mid-level by now I guess? She’s ‘newer’ than some still old champs since her VU, but graphical progress is moving very quickly in League.

I say this because there’s also the official art and splash arts to take into account. In most of Sona’s splash art I’d say she’s curvy, but not outrageously so. And she’s certainly not as thick as I tend to draw her.

On that subject: I’m a plus sized person myself. When I draw females I tend to go a little overboard on the waist and hips because that’s the kind of figure I have myself. ‘Plus size’ isn’t just one particular ‘look’ either; people gain weight in a variety of ways, and plus size can also just come down to being a very tall or broad person as well. In reality, I very much doubt Sona would qualify as plus size. She’s small and slim. While I would like it if she were a little softer and rounder, perhaps, it doesn’t make me like her any more or less as a character.

TL;DR while I do think a lot about Sona’s appearance (probably due to being an artist and drawing her a lot), it doesn’t actually effect my perception of her that much. The argument could be made that if she looked different would I have been drawn to her as much, but I honestly couldn’t say. I was drawn to her play style initially, SO...

I will say, however, that just because I’m an “enlightened” individual or whatever the fuck when it comes to how Sona looks, it’s worth noting how painfully obvious it is that many fan artists... aren’t. Especially those who draw porn. I very VERY rarely look up fanart for Sona because all too often, for SOME reason, she’s relegated to some very questionable acts. I somehow suspect it has as much to do with her being mute as it does with her body shape, but that’s just my theory. Sona being mute is likely one of the most key deciding factors in how and why people portray her the way they do aside from her boy shape, tbh. Without a voice she lacks personality on a surface level. From there it’s easy to just treat her like an object. Or even “ship” her based on her disability, which is.... yeah.

As a final thought, and from a realistic and artistic perspective, I don’t think people really realize how different people can look in different clothes. Sona’s skins tend to have her in close-fitting clothes on top and more wide gowns on the bottom (except for DJ, which leads to the whole headcanon for me that she’s hiding it all under that skirt). But if you put her in a sports bra and some baggy clothes? Suddenly she’d look a LOT different. What you wear and how you wear it can make all the difference in presentation. Makeup as well is like that.

#headcanon #ask #art talk #a whole bunch of stuff!#thank you for the question <3 #Anonymous

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cami-chats · 5 years

Text

Abridge

Fandom: Marvel

Pairings: Tony Stark/Johnny Storm

Warnings: None

"Hey Tony is that you?" Sam asked, pointing at a picture that popped up on the television screen. It was a preview for the upcoming gossip that passed for news these days, a shady snapshot of Tony and Johnny Storm.

Tony looked up to see what he was referring to. "Yeah."

"Who's that with you?" he asked, since no one on the news team recognized Johnny. It didn't help that he wasn't facing the camera head on. If Tony remembered correctly, Johnny hadn't been wearing a helmet and Tony was calling him an idiot.

The tv put that picture next to one of Steve with the caption 'Iron Man and Captain America slumming it? Possible secret romance!'. Tony snorted, looking back towards his tablet. "Steve, apparently."

"That's not Steve," Sam said, rolling his eyes.

Tony hummed absently, not listening to him anymore.

Sam rolled his eyes again and changed the channel.

Johnny threw back five shots in a row. True to his word, he was still standing when the other guy fell flat on his ass.

Tony was snickering the entire time and trying to hide it. He knew from his party days how this was going to end, and he was pretty sure Johnny knew it too. At least Tony hoped he knew, because otherwise this was about to get very unpleasant.

They made it outside safely, but when Johnny turned to head for the car, Tony grabbed his arm, shaking his head. "No way."

"C'mon, I thought we were going back to your's." He wrapped his arms around Tony and reached down to grab his ass. He bit at Tony's neck, sucking a mark into the skin.

"You're about to get sick, and you're not doing that in my car."

"I'm not gonna get sick," he said defensively.

"Uh-huh, sure champ."

"I'm not."

They started walking, Johnny leaning heavily on his side, and they only made it past three buildings before Johnny heaved into a trashcan. Tony rubbed his back and made sure that he didn't get any shit on his jacket-- he was pretty sure Johnny loved that jacket more than life itself.

"That's a hickey," Natasha said, craning her neck to get a better look at the blotchy mark on Tony's skin.

"Yeah," Tony said. He raised his hand to rub at it automatically.

"Who's it from? I didn't even know you were dating someone."

He shrugged. "Not sure I would call it dating. I called him my boyfriend the other day and he told me that he wanted to 'keep it casual', whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean."

Natasha made a sympathetic face. "How old is he?"

"Legal."

"Well, yes. If he's over thirty, I would say he has commitment issues and he needs to rethink a few things about his life."

"And if he's younger?"

"Then I'd say he probably just wants to fuck around and you should think about whether or not that's something you want. Which is he?"

Tony wasn't listening anymore though. By the time she'd asked, he was on the other side of the kitchen, making a new pot of coffee. She gave an exaggerated huff and dropped it. Chances were, she'd hear how it ended.

"Johnny, come on. We text all the time, and we go on dates every two days. That sounds like we're dating to me."

"Yeah," Johnny said, rubbing his hand against his head uncomfortably, "but you know that's not what I mean by it, Tony. I told you that, and you said you were okay with it."

"Did I? Because I remember rolling my eyes."

"You did look at me like I was stupid," he agreed.

"That's because you're being stupid."

"Hey," Johnny protested.

"Did you seriously think I'd want to do this for months if it wasn't going to lead anywhere? I'm past the age where just sex is fun. If that's all you want, fine, but it's not going to be with me."

Johnny gave Tony a sharp smile that was all teeth and no humor. "Fine." He pushed himself back from the table and headed for the door, grabbing his leather jacket off the back of the chair as he passed. "See you around."

"No you won't."

He paused in shoving his feet into his shoes. "Yeah I guess I won't. Bye Tony. It was fun."

The door closed, and Tony dropped his head into his hands miserably. Tony Stark Luck aka fall in love with the exactly wrong person. It was a tried and true fact of his life, no matter what he did. Woo-hoo, he thought flatly. He was getting too old for this shit.

Natasha took one look at Tony, then pushed her bowl of ice cream over to him in offering.

"Thanks," he muttered, taking a bite.

"Rough day?"

He shrugged.

"If you haven't had a bad day, I'm taking my ice cream back," she warned.

Tony took one more bite, then pushed the bowl back to her. "Hasn't been the best. I'll go work on that comm update for you."

Sue looked at her brother, then turned away. Then she sighed and turned back. "Okay what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he lied.

She didn't say anything, just waited. Give Johnny silence for long enough, and he would break. Sure enough, a few minutes later he started talking.

"How did you know when you were in love with Reed? Like, you guys were together, then you broke up for a while, but you've been fine ever since."

"Johnny, are you in love with someone? I never thought I'd see the day," she mused.

He glared at her.

"Fine, fine." Sue leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest while she thought. "I guess one day I realized that I didn't want to spend my life without him. Like when I went off to get my doctorate and you were spending time in California, it kind of killed me. I realized that I didn't want to live my life without you, and after Reed and I got back together... I guess I thought the same thing."

"Hmm." Johnny was looking morosely at the floor, thinking. "So that's it? Just- you don't want to live without him?"

"I'm pretty sure that's how most people find out they're in love; it's not that weird."

"But that's so easy."

"Did you want a cryptic answer?"

"Well no offense Sue but that's kinda what I was expecting."

"Fine," Sue said, rolling her eyes. "Look deep in your heart and think about them and you'll know. Better?"

"Don't go into poetry, you'd starve."

"Oh for fuck's sake Johnny. Either tell the woman you're in love with her or get out."

"Man," he corrected.

"What?"

"It's a guy."

"Are you bi, then?"

Johnny shrugged. "I thought that would get more of a reaction, you know."

"Gasp, oh goodness, oh my," she said flatly. "Tell the man you love him, or get out."

"It's Tony Stark."

"WHAT?" Sue startled, looking at him with wide eyes. She'd knocked over her cup of water, but she didn't even notice. "Tony Stark? As in Iron Man?"

"That's the reaction I was hoping for," he said with a shit-eating grin.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Jonathan Lowell Storm you had better be serious."

"Middle naming me? Really Sue?"

Her eyes narrowed to slits. It made her look half asleep, but also like she would kick his ass to the moon if he didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

"Yeah it's the Tony Stark."

"How did I not hear about this? You can't keep your mouth shut about anything, but when it's something cool you clam up?"

"I thought Reed hated Stark Industries."

"Reed's jealous, and from what I've heard, he and Tony Stark don't get along. Can I meet him?"

"Technically we're broken up."

She threw a stack of papers at him. They fluttered to the floor long before getting in range of hitting him, but it made her feel better all the same. "Go make up. I want his opinion on these radiation scans, and since Reed and I got married, I'm pretty sure he ignores anything that has the last name 'Richards' attached."

"I thought Banner was the radiation expert of the team."

"He is, but he's also off world right now. Originally I was going to wait until he got back, but this would be much faster."

"Using my relationship to get your research expedited... that's villain stuff, Suze. You sure you're feeling okay?"

"Why are you still here? Wait, Johnny, are you actually worried?" When he didn't immediately answer, she said, "Oh my god you are worried." There was a chance then, where she could have done the sympathetic thing and told him that there was nothing to worry about, that she was certain everything would work out for the best. Instead, she threw her head back, cackling. "This is priceless."

"Whoever said women are sympathetic has never met you."

"If you don't want to be mocked, you shouldn't have come to me. What's the problem in your relationship anyways? If it was just being in love, you wouldn't look like someone scratched your favorite bike."

"There's no problem."

"Oh Johnny," she sighed. "You panicked, didn't you."

"No," he lied.

"See, because I'm nice, I'm gonna warn you right now. You can either leave to go fix this, or you can stick around while I mock you some more. Which is it going to be?"

"You're a lot meaner than you used to be," he noted, walking towards the door. She was also a lot happier than she used to be, so the trade off was pretty good. Considering that her 'nicer' days were actually just her being a pushover, he wasn't actually complaining.

"Let me know how it goes!"

He raised a hand to let her know he heard but didn't say anything in return.

"Uhhh," Bucky said, frowning at the person who was standing in front of the tower and looking up towards the Avenger's floors. He looked suspiciously like Steve, but there was something about his bearing that screamed they weren't the same person. Sort of... over confident and self assured. It reminded him of Tony, actually. He was just going to keep walking. It wasn't his business, and sticking his nose where it didn't belong had gotten him kidnapped by a villain twice since leaving Hydra's control.

Steve glanced over when he entered the room. "Hey Buck. How was the dog park?"

"It was good. There's someone in front of the building that looks like you. It's kinda creepy."

"Really?"

Bucky nodded.

"Huh, that's weird. Do you know where the peanut butter is? I can't find it."

"Sir," Jarvis said, interrupting him from the latest Iron Man armor design.

"Yeah J?"

"Mister Storm is at the front desk asking for you. Should I tell them to let him in?"

Tony paused. Johnny was here? Did that mean... No. It was likely that Tony had forgotten a tie or something at his apartment and he was just returning it. "Yes. Direct him to the penthouse, I'll meet him there."

"Of course, sir."

Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This was not going to be fun. He saved the plans and got to his feet, patting DUM-E's strut as he passed. "Try not to destroy anything while I'm gone buddy."

DUM-E gave a chirp that was probably supposed to be a promise that he would behave, but Tony knew better than to believe it. He got up to the penthouse and filled a glass with water, just so he'd have something to do with his hands.

The elevator doors opened, and Johnny stepped out, looking around. He'd never been to the Tower before since he insisted that they weren't dating, and therefore there was no reason for him to be in Tony's primary home where he could meet all his teammates. "Nice place," he said mildly.

"Is that why you're here? To compliment the furniture my decorator picked out?"

"No," Johnny said with a sigh. He scratched at the back of his head.

"Are you okay?" He'd never seen Johnny so... reserved.

"Sue tells me I'm an idiot, and since she knows me better than anyone, I guess I have to believe her."

"Okay?"

"I missed you," he admitted.

Tony's hand clenched tightly around his glass.

"I was being stupid when I said we should keep it casual. I've never wanted to keep someone around before." He gave a smile and a shrug. "Guess I made a mistake leaving the other day."

"And?"

Johnny heaved a put-upon sigh and walked closer. "And we should start dating like we should have been doing from the beginning. I'm sorry that I ran away from my feelings and you got hurt because of it. If it makes you feel better, I'm new to the whole 'being in love' thing."

"You're in love? With me?"

"Uhh shit I didn't mean to say that."

"No take-backsies," Tony said, pointing a finger at him. "You made your bed now you have to lie in it. Tell me more about how magnificent I am and how much you love me." Tony was grinning, and he laughed when Johnny rolled his eyes, stepping into his space and taking the glass of water from him.

"You're magnificent and I love you."

"That's just repeating what I said, it doesn't count."

"Give me time, I'm sure I'll think of something."

#irontorch #fanfic #marvel #tony stark #johnny storm #my writing #dictionary prompts #keep in mind that it's been a WHILE since i've seen fantastic four #and the one f4 comic i read was au based #so they were all basically different characters #this is just my best guess

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triforceangel13 · 5 years

Text

The Mark of Destiny Ch. 11 (A SidLink AU)

Chapter 11: Miscommunication

Link gazed at his phone worriedly in the middle of the night, the dark room illuminated by the light from the screen.

It had been days since he had gotten that letter from Cyra from the agents. He hadn't gotten a chance to read it as he lost the paper but those words she spoke radiated over and over in his head. It wouldn't leave him alone.

Promises to promote his dancing career, a dream he always had ever since he was a little boy and had started dancing.

Once again he fought himself on the pros and cons of taking this offer but also leaving it behind. It kept him up at night, tossing and turning for several nights at a time which even resulted him in feeling a little under the weather.

He had sent a text to Sidon telling him he wanted to talk to him about something important. He wanted his input on it. He was his match and to Link any huge life changing moment he would need to talk to Sidon about it before he made any decisions.

But the only answer he had gotten from his lover was that he was really busy with work and didn't have the time to talk. That was a little weird but Link had let it slide. His job must really have needed him this week over something that happened. Link wouldn't hold it against him.

That was until hours stretched into days, and then days into a week. It was becoming clear that even his own match didn't want to talk to him.

What had he done to get him so mad? He wanted to fix this, whatever it was. But how did he get it out of Sidon what was wrong?

He hated fighting with anyone. He always tried to stay on everyone's good side so he prevented any fights.

And prevented passing out when his body shut down on him from the over amount of stress he would be experiencing.

With a sigh he rose from his bed, heading out of his room to the kitchen to make himself some chamomile tea to help him sleep.

To his surprise the kitchen light was on. A quick glance at his phone had him realize that it was four in the morning.

Someone else was up.

“Hey Link,” Linkle greeted as her brother entered the kitchen.

A pot of boiling water bubbled on the stove, his sister dressed in a large tshirt that went down to her knees, stirring the noodles inside the pot.

“Hey. What are you doing up?” he asked curiously going to the tea kettle and set it on the stove to heat up water quickly once he made sure there was enough water inside of it.

“Craving. Little one wouldn't let me sleep until I had some pasta,” she replied with a laugh, her hand lovingly running over her stomach. “What are you doing up?”

Even though she hadn't started showing Link knew that Linkle would still look small with her tiny body even with a fully grown baby inside of her. He would encourage her to eat as much as she wanted to give some muscle to her while she was pregnant now that her dancing wouldn't be helping her with that.

“I've got a lot on my mind,” Link sighed. It wasn't a lie. He really did. But as much as he needed to talk to Sidon about this he needed to talk to Linkle as well.

“Want to talk about it champ?:”

Link smirked a bit at the name. Their dad had used to call him that. Though even with the cute nickname he just hoped that they would be able to talk about this without it ending badly with a huge fight between them.

He didn't need two people angry with him.

At least this time he would know why Linkle would be mad at him should it actually come to that for him.

“Well...yes actually,” Link said, pulling the kettle off the stove before it whistled and poured the hot water into his awaiting mug with a tea bag.

“I'm all ears,” she said, draining her water and sitting down with a large bowl of pasta with butter and a fork.

“Cyra gave me a something about a week ago. I lost the paper but,” he began, letting out a heav sigh as he gripped his warm mug and tried to find just the right words to tell the news to his sister. “I don't know how to say it...”

“Link,” his twin said, reaching out to touch his hand. “You can tell me anything. I'm your sister. We've been through a lot together.”

Link sighed again, squeezing her hand a little.

“Cyra gave me a letter from some agent that went to the recital the other night,” he finally said, afraid to look her in the eye. “They wanted me to come along with them for a traveling dancing troop. Just...me.”

Linkle was quiet a moment, pausing in her eating as the news settled in. Link nearly jumped when he heard the clank of the spoon hitting the bowl, even as softly as she had done it in the first place. He was that nervous.

“Link, that's wonderful news,” she finally said, though her voice did sound a little strained as if she was holding back tears.

He quickly glanced up at her. She smiled sweetly at him, a single tear rolling down her cheek despite her words.

“It is...?” he asked, a little skeptical of her answer. “It really doesn't seem like it. I mean Linkle you're crying.”

“Ignore that. That's just the pregnancy,” she said. “But yes it is good news. You get to expand on your career.”

Link sighed, shaking his head. “But what about you? Linkle we started this whole thing together. Its not right for me to do with without you-ow.”

Linkle had flicked him right in the forehead.

“Now don't start with that. Yes, I'm sad that you were made an offer without me but you want to know what? There will be more chances for me. Now you can take this or you can wait for another opportunity. This decision is yours to make. Don't let anyone make it for you,” she huffed at her brother.

Link was amazed by those words, but he knew in a way she was right. He felt terrible if he took this, constantly feeling guilty.

But then if he didn't take it he would feel like he had missed his once in a lifetime moment to get where he wanted to be.

Though she was right, no one could make this decision except him.. There had to be more chances out there for Linkle. And if there were more for her, there would be more for him. They could do it together like they had planned.

They would just need to be patient and wait until they were both ready. It would honestly seem like Link had made his decision. That was going to be that he would stay and wait for another chance to come to him when the time was right. He would continue to dance, there was bound to be more times for him.

“Now, do you feel better after getting that off of your chest?” Linke asked around a mouthful of food where it was hard to understand her.

“A little, yeah,” Link said relieved, taking a sip of his tea and glanced at his phone. Still no new messages. “To be honest there is one other thing on my mind that hasn't really been helping me sleep at all.”

“Well I knocked out this problem, let's try another,” Linkle boasted with confidence before exhaling with a small giggle.

“I think Sidon's pissed at me. He hasn't really answered any of my texts for the past week. I don't think anything bad happened to him. He just sometimes responds that he is too busy to talk about anything with me.”

“Sounds like he is a little mad...though over what I wonder.”

Link let out a groan of frustration, resting his hands in his hair and tugged on the blonde strands. “I want to know what it is I did, but I can't just text him saying that I want to know why he's mad at me in the first place.”

“Why the hell not? He's your match, Link,” she retorted with a mouthful of food once more which caused Link to crack a small smile. “I will not sit idly by and watch my brother lose his match over something stupid.”

Link chuckled softly and swiped a noodle from her bowl which earned him a well deserved pout his way.

“I”ll try again I guess.”

Link stood outside Sidon's apartment the next morning, his heart hammering in his chest as he looked at the door.

Sidon's car was in its designated parking spot which meant that he was home and hadn't left for work yet.

He had to nip this in the bud while he could. He could not let the silence between them go any farther than it had.

With a deep breath he knocked on the door, feeling his heartbeat growing stronger. He had to relax. He could risk passing out again which he did not want to do right now. He hated doing it. He felt weak and vulnerable.

Sidon quickly answered the door, a heavy frown on his face as his eyes gazed down at him.

“Hey,” he mumbled, looking as if he didn't want to be there.

“Hey...can I come in?”

“I have a shift soon, what's up?”

Link hesitated at first and then let out a sigh. He had to come clean about why he was there. If he didn't he would never be able to fix this.

“I want to know why you're mad at me,” Link finally said, looking up to him.

The silence that fell between them was deafening. If the words he spoke he could take back he instantly would have. He never experienced this sort of thing with Sidon. He was never, ever, like this in the times he had met him.

“I don't have time for this,” Sidon sighed, stepping from his door and locking it behind him, gold eyes seeming to burn into him. “I have to go to work.”

Link watched him go down the hall, feeling the mark on his back seem to ache with each passing step he took.

“Sidon wait,” Link called to him. With tense shoulders Sidon stopped, a scowl on his face. “I am not leaving you alone until you tell me why.”

“Why? How about the fact that you never told me that you accepted the offer from the agent of the dance troop. How you just left me behind without even asking how I felt about the whole thing? How despite that we are matches, you didn't even think to talk to me,” Sidon said, his voice rising with each sentence.

“I-I, what?” Llink asked confused. He had never accepted anything! Where did he get the idea that he had?

“This,” Sidon growled, tossing a rumpled up envelope to the ground. The one that Link had thought he had lost with the details of the offer. “Have a great trip.”

Link quickly went to pick it up, shaking his head the whole time. “Sidon no, that's not-”

But Sidon was already gone. A sinking feeling erupted in his chest. Sidon didn't want to be anywhere near him because he thought he had taken the offer already.

His heart sank into his stomach, a cold sweat covering his body. Sidon wanted no part of him and he didn't believe him if he said he wasn't going to take it.

What was he going to do?

I can no longer link previous chapters with the new “updates” from tumblr.

I’m open for written commissions

want to support? my patreon and kofi (just search triforceangel)

my a03 (triforceangel) as another place to read my fics

#breath of the wild #sidlink #prince sidon #the mark of destiny

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themanicgalaxy · 3 years

Text

SPN 2X5 Simon Said

aight only one, I got my hot cocoa bomb, i got my palmieres

oh no Plot Episode

also no rock and roll mv :(

oooo spooky phone call

is this guy a hunter? what’s with the vision of the gun?

OH is it not a happening thing? is it a prophecy he’s turning true?

AH a vision within a vision that’s pretty cool

when does carry on wayward son play, I just realized

YAY WE’RE GOING TO THE ROADHOUSE AGAIN

KICK HIS ASS AND HUSTLE HIM JO!

and in a STUNNING turn of events, Dean has to be the polite one

it’s honestly nice to have some kinda fluffy plot episode

LMAO and Ash doesn’t have pants

DR BADASS AWWWW HOW DID DEAN KNOW

Jo is playing...can’t fight this feeling??

This is literally the one REO Speedwagon song I actually know

“he sings it from the heart” “he sings it from the hair” AW Jo and Dean argue about music that’s sweet

Dean’s nervous smile at Ellen

You scared of my mother *Dean still grinning* “yes”

HA AND hE’S SINGING IT AW

Sam is so fucking Done

it’s SO NICE to get some fluffy stuff for a bit

that’s...a hilarious van

I love how Dean loves the van design

And now Dean is the like...upbeat “are you ok” guy damn this guy is a repressing champ

the “those things were asking for it” feels out of place given the vampire episode like...two episodes ago, but I think dean’s trying

oh my god this is where they filmed Psych. It’s the same layout

AHHH

lmao if the van guy and Dean talk about cars

OH MY GOD HE HAS PERSUASION POWERS HE STOLE DEAN’S RIDE OHHHHH

I feel like I thought he did before Sam mentioned demon boi

is his name Azazel? i don't care

“obi-wan’d me” ha dean you FUCKING NERD

AND THE MAN STEPS DIRECTLY INTO TRAFFIC WHY DOES THIS GUY WANT TO KILL THIS DOCTOR SO HARD

goddamn Dean got “can’t fight this feeling” STUCK IN MY HEAD DAMN YOU DEAN

I am HEAVILY appreciating that I can understand more of the rock, and that they’re doing more, it just makes me happy

Dean why do you talk to your car like that Dean I’m begging you get therapy

these fools reference OJ I barely understand OJ

Is Dean thinking OJ did it, does that mean something?

Why is Dean enjoying this guy’s ride so much DEAN YOU NERD I GET IT YOU LIKE WEIRD SHIT

“One day I wanna sit down and eat something I don’t have to microwave at a minimart” ah yes Dean’s cooking origin story

OH it works on Dean but not Sam

THE FUCKING SMILE “Yeah my bro thinks they’re something wrong and will be Very Evil and I hope he’s wrong” *dumb precious smile*

poor Dean keeps getting mind-whammied

OHYMHGOD SHE’S COMPELLED TO DOUSE HERSELF IN GAS

“it’s gonna be ok” is a phrase that’s really starting to freak me out

ah so it isn’t him

Andy: these are not the droids ur looking for

Dean the nerd who I think relates to this guy/finds him cool: *smiles* Awesome

oh my god he works at the coffeeshop

and she’s crying? I think she’s more conscious?

WHY IS HE RUINING HIS BROTHER’S LIFE

This incel is...so creepy

this guy should never have been given magic powers what the fuck

“you can’t have him” what the fuck is wrong with you

I do find it kinda sad/funny that every time Sam is unaffected/gets along with these people, and Dean just gets the short end of the stick and is in pain/bad vibes Every Time

oh my god he doesn’t have to use his voice

“she’s trying to come between us” that’s insane

at least Andy is calling him insane too

Anyone who ships siblings, please pay attention, god i hope this is on purpose

“Man with the yellow eyes” Sam: OWO

OH N ONO T DEAN

ANDY! YES GOOD! KICK HIS ASS ANDY! SHOOT HIM!

Andy manages to get the cops off of him

Tracy is obviously fucked up about this

Andy is a good guy, I like him a lot

CONNECTION! THEY GIVE HIM PHONE NUMBER!!

“you be good...or we’ll be back” Dean

he looked so sad to say it too

Sam he saved people’s lives, he’s not a killer

“right circumstance, everyone’s capable of murder” I mean he’s right but

Dean: I will be Repressing these Fears today

“What are you, seven?” pfft

ELLEN! CALLED!

Ellen: ya wanna tell me

them: no, it’s family business(ew)

and then Ellen tells them to stop being little shits YAY ELLEN

FUCK Y E S SUPPORT STRUCTURE

“we can’t track them”

“Jo, you better break out the whiskey instead”

god i love Ellen

WRAP UP!

1. ok, so I assume they had more of a budget this season because they’re using more well-known songs, which means I GET TO HAVE MY BRAIN OVERWRITTEN BY HARD ROCK! WHEEEEEE

Can’t fight this feeling already starting living rent free, I can’t stop it

2. Really fun episode, plot that wasn’t super super depressing(which I’ve seriously missed), I liked good twin and evil twin, it wasn’t even that cheesy, and I really like the fact that it worked on Dean but not Sam, I thought that was Nifty

3. CONNECTIONS! RECURRING CHARACTERS!! FINALLY!! THE ROADHOUSE, ASH, ELLEN, JO AND DEAN’S THING?(I get I’m supposed to ship it, but it’s cute and fun rn, i like them as friends at least) AND ANDY?? YAY

4. the brothers arguing about Sam being a killer was like...it got repetitive after a while. Dean getting really excited/nerding with Andy was really sweet tho, I really liked that

honestly, it was just nice to feel a little bit happy/laugh a bit. I needed this episode to be the way it was.

#pawswatchesspn #2x5 Simon Said #look there's not that much to analyze #but solid episode #made me happy

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thesportssoundoff · 7 years

Text

Ten incomplete thoughts on UFC 216

Due to work, I missed the main card except for the main event which I managed to get home in time for. Anyways here’s what I got based off of the prelims and the FX card.

1- Demetrious Johnson is our ugly baby

This is a Jerry Jones-ism so forgive me but I think it fits if you think about it. Have you ever seen a couple that just had a baby---and the baby's ugly? To everyone on the outside, the baby is absolutely hideous looking but to THEM, to those parents, it's the most beautiful thing ever because its THEIR baby. Demetrious Johnson is our ugly baby. For some fight fans and casual consumers, Demetrious Johnson is a midget who has boring fights against limited competition with a weird personality. He lacks a demographic, a definable fanbase by which an organization can capitalize on his gifts. He's destined to be the guy or the man who fight fans have no interest in. His mere PRESENCE on a card or an event signifies skippable to them. He is almost a fan repellant at this point. He is, in many ways, an ugly baby.

But he's our ugly baby. He's the best fighter in the world as of right now. Where as other see boring fights over limited competition; we see dominant performances vs good fighters who would be great in a world where he doesn't exist. Whereas they see the hit but don't get hit style as boring, we see endless activity through a variety of channels designed to minimize risk BUT still promote action. He finishes fights. He challenges himself to be better. His dominant reign has never featured two fights alike and while you can be bored with the dominance, it's still dominance. It's still one man dominating a host of opponents of various shapes, sizes and styles. All of which unique, all of which remind you that what you're seeing is special and what everybody else sees is irrelevant. Who gives a shit if he's an ugly baby, he's YOUR baby.

Mighty Mouse, in a climate where fighting often and fighting consistently on TV isn't really worth as much as it should, will never be respected for what he is. He's our ugly baby; the thing only we can truly appreciate. You just gotta go with it.

2- The Uniqueness of Combat Sports; Good and Bad; was on display.

We begin with the good. The 1 v 1 nature of MMA (and boxing and etc) makes it so much more free flowing as to the how and why we get the matchups. There is no set schedule---so when Derrick Lewis hours before the show can't go? You just get another guy on display! Out comes Walt Harris who had a fight scheduled previously who gets bumped up the card. That's the fun thing about MMA; it's never always laid out to perfection but 9/10, it ends up being just fine. Instead of not getting a Werdum fight, we get Werdum vs Walt Harris on like six hours notice. That's really cool.

And the negative? Well in no other sport would an obvious matchup not happen on account of money. The brackets are what they are, the Yankees and Red Sox don't immediately get to play one another in the ALCS. Who wins is who wins. Tony Ferguson vs Conor McGregor is the fight to make under all categories except for one----which happens to be the biggest one. At the risk of upsetting the Nate Diaz fans, imagine if the Lakers last year took the place of the Spurs to ensure that the NBA would garner the biggest ratings for their playoffs. It'd be stupid---but MMA is a stupid sport sometimes. So we'll sit and wait to determine whether the right title fight will take place or whether the most economical title fight will take place. Either one will do.

3- Mighty should SERIOUSLY think about retiring.

There's a theory that flyweight would've had a better chance of surviving had it not been for Demetrious Johnson, the aforementioned ugly baby of MMA. Let's test that. Mighty Mouse should seriously consider pulling a GSP. Just take off for a while, work on the Fox team/whatever network is next team and provide analysis from a distance. When the opportunity arises for him to come back aka when there's a title fight that makes sense, he should return. Let's see if HE is the problem of it the division itself is a problem.

4- Tony Ferguson is a once in a decade type fighter

No, I don't mean that in the sense that he's a prodigious athlete or some special draw. He's not Conor or Ronda or whomever else has been tabbed with such a label. I'm talking about a guy who is a fighting freak; one of those fucked up type of guys who has these fights that the average human being couldn't fathom and even pro fighters would try to avoid. He began the third round shouting at Kevin Lee about how this was going to be his round and he legit just marched dude down, ate whatever fire was coming his way, got up from takedowns and then when shit got hairy on the ground, he went elbows into armbar into triangle. Tony Ferguson fights with this unrelenting confidence and this air of inevitability. "At some point, I'm going to get you. And when I do? You aren't going to do shit about it." Ferguson isn't just a great fighter, he's a savage sadistic will breaker. You don't see guys like that come along, not in today's MMA where fans think fighters play it safe more than ever before.

5- Greg Jackson had a bad night.

I didn't see any of the main card fights beyond the main event but this goes to the Duquesnoy and the Ray Borg fight. In the former, it felt like any adjustments after the first round were nil for Duquesnoy. Unorthodox only works when fighters are afraid of it and you execute it with near perfection. The unorthodox offense and footwork of Duquesnoy was figured out pretty quickly by Stamman and the adjustments were....I unno. MAYBE Duquesnoy got some great advice and he just didn't execute on it. His third round was abysmal from start to finish and outside of Stamman nearly giving him the fight by virtue of being an idiot, it was not the performance we expected from a top prospect. As for Ray Borg? WHEN has clinching with Mighty Mouse ever worked. I watched a bushel of Demetrious Johnson fights in a row and pointed out that the clinch is where he excels---so Borg clinched and wrestled. Even if Ray Borg isn't a good striker, you have a better chance of starting something on the feet. Furthermore, you HAVE to tell your fighter to never go for the neck on Mighty Mouse. Everytime he takes guys down, they chase that desperation guillo because he feeds it to them. Every single write up I read involved some form of "Borg chases a guillotine" but that never works. NEVER. The gameplan didn't seem to give Borg a single shot. Also felt like Lando Vannata engaged far too much vs Bobby Green BUT I'm not gonna hold dude responsible for that.

6- I think Kevin Lee is making a right choice jumping up to 170 lbs

I made the comparison of Gray Maynard for Kevin Lee at 155 lbs. I think that's still apt---but I think Lee going UP in weight is the right idea. Kevin Lee said he weighed 185 lbs or more vs Tony Ferguson and so that gives you an accurate window of what MOST 155 lbers are weighing after rehydration and etc etc etc. Lee will not be at that big of a size and strength disadvantage vs guys at 170 lbs. Look at how MOST 155ers who have moved up have been able to hold their own vs genuine welterweights. The difference is not that massive and so I figure Lee with better cardio will pop into that top 10 discussion.

7- I need a good reason why there's no 165 and 175 lb divisions

Just curious what the excuses are. I understand it might not curtail weight cuts but it can't hurt for sure. Unless you're going to tell me 185 lbers are going to try to kill themselves to make 175 lbs but if thats a concern, just establish a weight percentage rule. Weigh more than 15% of your intended weight class? Move up or move out! If you're concerned about MMA watering itself down then I mean are you not realizing the quality of talent between 155 lbs and 185 lbs? That's a stupid excuse. The quality of fights will improve because people aren't dying to make weight that intensely. You're at least TRYING something. Two more titles? 99% of you people don't even care who the champ is anyways if he's not a star so how does it impact your ability to enjoy MMA?

8- Brad Tavares is quietly becoming really good.

I've been harsh on Tavares because I feel like he's better than what he's put out recently. Over the past two fights though, he's shown some serious improvements. He's more aggressive while still being his usual composed and patient self. He's got a great jab, he can wrestle with just about anybody. In many ways it felt like he always knew his chin was a little questionable and so he fought to protect that. Recently though it feels like he's more aggressive than usual and that's a good thing. I just think he needs to get that finish which has eluded him so far in the UFC.

9- Magomed Bibulatov losing is a bummer.

Yes yes yes yes. I know. Try to hear me out here for a second will ya? The one thing we keep hearing about guys at 125 lbs is that they're all basically the same guy. The idea that they're all just fighters fighting the most boring guy in the world. Bibulatov had a teensy bit of buzz on him and John Moraga, a dude who at this point is your gatekeeper to the stars, smelted him. Woooof.

10- The Anik, Rogan and Cormier team seemed to have an idea of how to work together.

Don't know if it was the week or whatever the case may be BUT thesse guys were all on their game. Cormier seemed to fit in better and have a better understanding of what he should or should not be calling and their jokes actually seemed to work for once. Most of all, all three guys seemed to be in the zone with very little moments of "Wow that was stupid!" Good night fo rthis new commentary squad.

#MMA #UFC #UFC 216 #Ferguson #Lee

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jinjojess · 7 years

Note

Could you elaborate on what you dislike about Death Note? If you feel like doing it, of course! I always enjoy your unpopular opinions so I would like to hear more about this. I personally liked many aspects of it, but I can also see many flaws, and the second part of the story is way less fun. Also: "Remember how I can't stand characters transparently designed to appeal to a certain kind of fan" PLEASE GO ON. I need a serious critique of the characters!

Oof, I don’t know if I have that in me, but here’s a semi-short version.

Death Note has a lot of objective stumbles, but honestly the thing about it is that it’s very much Not For Me and that’s where I have the most issues.

Spoilers for the entire series, just in case.

Edit: This got really fucking long, I’m so sorry mobile users…

Note: This will be manga-based since I read the entire manga, but have only seen a few of the anime episodes.

So I was very on board with the series in the early chapters of the manga, because I liked how it was exploring the way that Light starts off as this really eager do-gooder who gets corrupted by power. In the early chapters he looks younger and adorable, and you can see a physical change in the way he carries and presents himself as he becomes more Kira than Light. Loved the idea of presenting a protagonist and then turning him into the villain and testing the reader to see if they would still side with him or not. That was cool.

I probably would have enjoyed his rivalry with L more if I didn’t find L so personally obnoxious. A lot of people like him (to the point where I feel like I am the sole dissenter) and I don’t think he’s necessarily the worst character, but just like…I dunno. Something about him and the way he’s treated in the series just feels so…I don’t know how to put this…wish fulfillment-y? Like he’s this dude who really shouldn’t be attractive because he’s gaunt and pale and clearly doesn’t take care of himself at all, plus he’s got all these nervous tics that would probably be at best politely tolerated while everyone talks about how awkward he is behind his back but like…I don’t remember that ever happening really.

Like if the police force were like “Jesus, dude, just sit like a normal human being for once,” I’d have found him more believable as an actual character instead of this guy conspicuously being weird to show off how “different” and “special” he is. Plus he’s also athletic, despite not ever being shown practicing or going to the gym or anything–he’s just super good at martial arts and a tennis champ, guys. Like sorry, but for those of us in the real world, we have to adhere to social codes and actually work for that kind of shit, and while some people find comfort in this sort of idealized escapism, it’s always just pissed me off from a personal standpoint.

Basically L feels like he was created to appeal to socially awkward fangirls who could squee over him and be like “he’s weird and socially awkward just like me! but everyone would be jealous of me if he was my boyfriend because unlike me everyone loves him!” Which in and of itself is not inherently Bad or anything, but it gives me a sense of unbearable second-hand embarrassment so I just cannot deal with that.

Let me be clear here: those kinds of fangirls completely deserve to have media aimed at them, and Death Note fills that niche pretty well. Again, this complaint is from a place of personal preference, and is just to get you to understand why Death Note turned out to not really be my cup of tea.

(Plus also where is the storyline where L gains weight or gets type 2 diabetes from surviving on sweets? Oh, it’s because his brain burns too many calories. Fuck that guy.)

Misa is similar in that she’s basically Yamato Nadeshiko: Goth Edition and that just ain’t my thing. Like don’t get me wrong–I love me some tragically loyal people, but I usually prefer that they also be capable in some other way (Pekoyama can swordfight like a badass, Sakakura is a world-class boxer, Mukuro is…well, Mukuro, etc.). MisaMisa is kind of a fuck up. Plus iirc she’s an idol and sorry, if you are not part of Maizono’s posse I have zero time for you.

Anyway, the fact that the reader is supposed to feel less sympathy for Light because of his treatment of Misa is interesting, but it’s kind of clouded by the fact that Misa is so annoying to me personally that I just wanted her to fucking die already and get out of the narrative. Rem, you are too good for this shit.

I did find the police force itself pretty charming, though. I was rooting for them for most of the story.

Ryuk was great too. A nice provider of very needed levity, and probably the most consistently good point of the series, at least until the very end which I’ll get into in a second.

Anyway, the more technical issues I have with Death Note are with its pointless meandering. There’s that famous tennis scene where it’s supposed to be really exciting because Light and L are trying to figure each other’s psychology out, but the things they’re thinking aren’t at all realistic. Like trying to win a tennis match proves you’re competitive ergo you must be Kira? What? It’s overthinking very mundane things that would have too many variables to ever be conclusive proof of anything, and it turns out to be pointless since they both reach that conclusion at the end of the game anyway.

So yeah, my biggest issue with Death Note was that it wasted so much of my time. It feels a little like the V3 trials, where you’d be purposefully led down this boring, clearly incorrect route so that the reader could be “surprised” when it turned out that something could be Occam’s Razor’d. There are entire volumes where nothing happens. And I don’t mean like, nothing physically happens, but the characters are having intense debates or whatever. I remember reading volumes where only two real conversations were had, and the rest of the time was everyone imagining and mentally preparing for said conversations.

Maybe my memory of the series is too patchy, since I read the manga over a decade ago in 2005, but I remember a LOT of padding.

Something I did think was handled well was how Light defeats L. That was pretty great because at heart I do love super smart villains with stupidly complicated plans, and that one was pretty great, especially since I figured that L wouldn’t be going anywhere.

However, the series should have ended here. It should have ended with Kira winning out over L, but the law being closer to figuring out who Kira is, leaving the reader in a state of uncertainty about the future of this world and Light as a character.

Would that have wrapped up all the loose ends? No. But it would be way better than what we got in the second half of the series, I think most people would agree.

So let’s talk for a second about Near and Mello.

To touch again on the “this was clearly for a certain kind of fan” subject, how hard do you think the publishers shit themselves when they realized that L was going to die but the series wasn’t over? L was and still is by far the most popular character from the series, and the fangirls were probably not going to be pleased that their husbando got ejected from the narrative.

So what do we do?

Replace him with more of the same!

While L was annoyingly teetering on Gary Studom, Near is basically that just with an added dose of “precocious child” which doesn’t really help the situation. I hesitate to call him Shouta L, even if that’s how it feels sometimes, but I just felt like Near was way too similar to L to be his own character. He felt more like L was reborn as a kid for the Death Note Babies spin-off.

Mello was a lot more interesting, with the inferiority complex and his tendency to, you know, actually do things. The only part of the latter half of the series I remember liking was when Mello kidnapped Light’s sister and there was this tiny glimmer of humanity left in him where he didn’t want her to die. However this was always offset for me by the fact that he was running around with an exposed midriff because yeah we need to have fanservice somewhere man. (Again, not inherently Bad and fangirls deserve their fanservice too, but like…not my thing, at all.) It just felt very…calculated, if that makes sense.

What would have been way more interesting to me would be Light finding out about these orphans being groomed to take over for L and there being some kind of commentary on how the side of “good” is using these really dubious and unethical methods to catch Kira, bringing up the question of whether or not they’re actually any better. Like let’s talk about that.

Okay so. The only thing left to talk about is the ending. And holy shit, that fucking ending.

I was still trying to be on board with Death Note even in the second half where I had very little desire to finish it but felt like I’d already invested the time and money so I might as well. I was trying so damn hard, and I was still kind of enjoying the ridiculous lengths Kira was going to get a one-up on his pursuers, with the fake out girlfriends and the cult, and the fucking pieces of Death Note pages inside the secret compartment of his watch and shit…it was so dumb but in like a fun way.

And to be clear, I’m fine with Light losing in the end, and being undone by his own hubris.

But to only have it happen because Ryuk decides to conveniently help the police? Like, that’s dumb. The entire thing hinges on Ryuk deciding at that very moment to fuck Light over–sure, whatever, he’s not on a side, sure. I don’t expect him to actually pull a Rem, but he must have fucking known that the lackey’s book was fake (who, by the way, should have planned to do away with everyone one at a time, using the power to determine how people die to make it look like an accident, and then he would have noticed that his notebook wasn’t a real one). At least hint toward Ryuk getting fed up, or bored, or something so that this doesn’t seem so frustratingly convenient.

Though Ohba apparently once said that L was the smartest character because “the plot needs him to be” so there you go. That’s his approach. Plot contrivances are the order of the day.

So yeah, anyway.

That’s why I’m not that fond of Death Note. Part of it is because of personal biases against certain kinds of characters that are not appealing to me, and part of it is because the entire story feels like it’s taking itself too seriously and is trying to be more clever than it is. As a more compact narrative I think it would probably get a pass, but the fact that it’s so bloated and sprawling really makes it hard for me to consider it objectively good.

…Turns out I did have it in me.

#ask #anon #opinions #long post #criticism #Death Note #no seriously it's long #you've been warned

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t0ngue-tech · 7 years

Text

Enchanted

“Tell me, Jimin, do you believe in magic?”

↠smutish? suggestive content↞

word count: 2.8k

↠ series: 2 | 3 | ↞

It was a Wednesday night and honestly, Jimin wanted to know whose idea it was to throw a party on a fucking Wednesday night. He didn’t mind going to parties once in awhile, but going on a school night was pushing it a bit. He could have been sitting on his sofa watching reruns of Bizarre Foods or maybe even in bed just about ready to knock out, but here he was.

Jimin wasn’t sure how, but Namjoon had convinced him to come out that night; he was pretty sure he lost Namjoon in the sea of people as soon as he walked through the first floor.

Fucking hell, Namjoon. Jimin took a long sip out of his coke and whiskey concoction already debating on when to walk out the door.

“Jimin?!”

The sweetest voice called out to him and he looked up to find you looking as shocked as ever. Jimin couldn’t control his face muscles as his jaw slightly hung open at the sight of you in the cutest little red dress.

He was so used to seeing you in large t-shirts or sweaters that were paired with shorts or ripped jeans, but this was a sight that he had to drink in. The dress wasn’t anything tight, it was seductive in the most casual way. The hem of the dress stopped just above mid-thigh, thin spaghetti straps hugged your slim shoulders and the neckline dipped low enough to where just the right amount of cleavage was exposed. The heels you wore just made your legs look even more amazing than when you wore your typical sandals or faded black converse shoes.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to stay a little longer.

↠↞

“I had no idea The Park Jimin came out to parties.” You sang, slipping in between the crowd of people to stand next to Jimin who settled on supporting his body against the counter.

“Ah well, contrary to popular belief, I actually enjoy my fair share of parties—mostly in my dorm building and the senior apartments.” He spoke loud enough to be heard over the music and mind-numbing conversations that surrounded the both of you.

“Then here’s a toast,” You raised your red cup. “To your first party in the East Wing Dormitory!”

Jimin laughed, running a hand through his silver hair before tapping his cup against your own. He downed his alcohol in almost one gulp and you couldn’t help but watch the way he deliciously tilted his head back to reveal his neck.

“I’m in need of a refill, what about you? Up for another cup?” You asked, reaching for his cup. He chuckled and shrugged, handing it over. “Pick your poison, champ.”

“Jack and coke for me.”

“Interesting.” You hummed. “I prefer coke and captain—hey, Jaebum! Captain, Jack, and coke my way!”

Jimin watched you in amusement as you casually poured the alcohol and soda into the cups. He stared long enough to almost pierce a hole into your skin. You couldn’t stare back at him. You weren’t sure what it was, but the gaze he gave you literally left you speechless.

“There’s my girl!” A familiar toned limb draped over shoulder almost causing you to spill the alcohol all over the counter.

“Jesus, Jackson! I hope you’re done drinking for the night.” You shrugged his arm off of you and handed back Jimin’s cup.

“Mm, maybe one last taste of alcohol from your lips?” He slurred. “Will I be seeing your fine ass on the third floor tonight?”

You laughed and stepped closer towards Jimin who was very much confused over the situation. It was a bold move, but you managed to link your arm with Jimin’s, who forced an awkward smile, eyebrows were knitted together in confusion.

“Sorry to break your heart, Jackson. But Jimin and I already planned on leaving together to discuss the Psychology slideshow for tomorrow.” You looked up at Jimin and smiled at him hoping that he caught your drift.

Jackson dramatically groaned your name and clutched his heart. “Ouch, always breaking my heart. Maybe the next party will be a success.” He winked at you before leaving, almost staggering and tripping over his own feet.

“I’m sorry about him.” You laughed, trying to clear up the weird atmosphere between the two of you. Jimin laughed with you and managed to say it’s alright in between his laughter.

There was a sudden rush of adrenaline that shot through your body as you locked eyes with Jimin. You forgot how close your body was to him and god, he looked even more amazing than he did sitting one seat away from you during class.

“H-Hey,” You were shocked by your own voice, not realizing how shaky your tone was. “For the sake of avoiding Jackson, do you want to get out of here?”

↠↞

It was a chilly spring night and the evening air felt even more relaxing on the roof of the East Wing Dorms.

Jimin sat on an abandoned table with his drink on the side while you were looking over the edge, watching students enter and exit the dorm. Almost at the roof, Jimin had stripped himself of his jacket for you to wear due to the absence of sleeves on your dress, leaving him in a plain white v-neck and denim pants. The breeze tickled his skin, but it felt refreshing considering how stuffy the room felt earlier.

“So,” Jimin began. “What was up with that Jackson guy?” You giggled and turned around to face him eye-to-eye.

“A couple of friends and I decided to have a wild night and play ’tipsy truth or dare’.” Jimin laughed at the mocking tone of your voice as you said the last string of words. “Jungkook—who I’m pretty sure you know—thought it would be hilarious for Jackson and I to make out for thirty-seconds.” You finished the rest of your alcohol then resumed to finish your short story. “The make out session is still hazy in my head since I was drunk as fuck, but ever since then, Jackson supposedly jokes around and makes lame attempts to have another make out session.”

Jimin unconsciously let out a quiet scoff and chuckled. “And what in the hell did he mean when he mentioned the third floor?”

“Ah, I forgot this was your first party in this dormitory.” You unzipped his dark blue jacket to let out the trapped air in the clothing because shit, the alcohol was warming up your body. “Let’s put it this way—during parties, the third floor is equivalent to the second floor during the senior apartment parties.”

He dryly whispered an oh and nodded his head understanding exactly what you meant by that.

“Well, that session must have been magic for him to be persistent until this day.” Jimin let his words drip from his lips without breaking eye contact.

You weren’t sure what it was, but you swallowed harder than usual at the sight of Park Jimin.

Jimin sat one seat away from you during your 11 am Psychology class every Tuesday and Thursday. The desk in between the two of you became a designated table for your backpacks. The two of you talked once in while during class and a couple of rare moments during non-class hours because you seeked help about a certain chapter of notes.

An ace basketball player of the University’s team and a studious student; you were definitely surprised when you saw him at the party and that he even mentioned that he does attend dorm parties.

You weren’t complete opposites. You were doing decent in your classes and worked at one of the computer labs on campus, signing students in and out. You also weren’t a “party girl,” but you did enjoy unwinding with alcohol once a week with some friends in your room or at a party.

The Jimin sitting across of you right now seemed different in the most ravishing way possible. The v-neck he wore gently hugged his frame, but his pants were a different story. The denim fabric stuck to the shape of his legs almost perfectly. it took a lot out of you to refrain from climbing onto his lap because his thighs looked so lovely. His posture was slightly leaned back, supporting his weight with arms and took in the sight of you with a foreign look in his eyes.

He looked amazing everyday, but tonight he looked so fucking gorgeous for your own good.

It was probably the alcohol taking over or maybe it was the strong desire to be closer to him, but you discarded your cup and boldly approached Jimin who instinctively scooted himself closer to the edge of the table.

“Tell me, Jimin,” You grazed his knee with your fingertips. “Do you believe in magic?”

He responded to your small action by gently grasping your hand to guide you in between his knees. “Mm, I’ve never really experienced magic.”

You eyed his delectable looking lips that twitched into smile as he caught you. “Shall I enlighten you?” You purred whilst traveling your hand to his abdomen which tightened at the contact.

“Please.”

And just like that, the distance between the both of you was closed off.

Jimin impatiently attacked your lips with his own whilst sliding off the table. You sighed into his mouth at the contact of his hands on your lower back. Your hands automatically crept up to the back of his neck and into his hair. You sucked on his bottom lip—finally doing what you had wanted to do since you spotted him in the dorm.

He quietly moaned into your mouth, sending chills down your spine hoping and praying he would do it again. In the blink of an eye, Jimin spun you around and lifted you onto the table settling himself in between your legs. You lightly tugged on the silver strands of his hair wanting to be closer to his body heat. Jimin must have read your mind because his hands found your lower back and tugged you closer to him. He continuously pulled you into him with the same desire to be closer because fuck you weren’t close enough.

Jimin broke the kiss and briefly scanned your features. Oh how beautiful you looked at that moment; your hair was slightly disheveled, lips were swollen and red from the constant biting and sucking. You were a delicious panting mess below him and he wanted more.

After placing a chaste kiss against your lips, he left a trail of butterfly kisses from your cheek, to your jawline, and finally onto a sweet spot on your neck. Jimin kissed and sucked at your neck and the cold air brushed against the damp spot causing you to feel a lot more sensitive.

“Nngh, Jimin,” You shamelessly moaned. He answered you by licking a stripe from your neck to right below your ear. He groaned your name right next to your ear and another helpless moan slipped past your lips, your core aching as time went on. The rough kisses against your neck made your stomach tighten and each time he moved to kiss a new spot on your skin he brushed against you. The thin lace of your underwear and his denim lightly rubbed against each other causing an uncontrollable wetness to form between your legs.

“F-fuck, Jimin—oh my god—”

You felt his hips buck up and he grinded into you whispering a string of profanities and butchered syllables of your name. He abandoned your neck and pressed his forehead against yours, eyes closed, and hot gasps leaving his mouth.

“Sh-Shit…” Jimin moaned, grinding into your core desperately trying to create more friction.

“Ji-Jimin, please—don’t ah! Please don’t stop!” You begged throwing your head back.

Euphoria clouded your vision and the sound of Jimin groaning into your skin filled your ears. It wasn’t the alcohol. It wasn’t the alcohol in your system that was causing you to act like this. You wanted Jimin so bad and the wetness in between your legs grew even more at the sound of your name leaving his lips.

His movements began to slow down and you whined at the loss of contact, but one of his hands disappeared from your lower back and found its way under the hem of your dress and onto the lace of your underwear.

“Wow. I can’t believe how wet you are.” Jimin whispered sweetly, rubbing light circles against your core with one of his fingers. “And this is all done by me, you’re quiet seatmate.”

“Jimin..” You moaned quietly.

He leaned in to taste your swollen lips and as his tongue worked against yours, the feeling of his fingers were gone and he was back to grinding into you. Another soft plea of his name and the continuous chants of more and harder filled the air.

“Does my girl want more?” He breathed into the canvas of your neck. You nodded instantly wanting to feel more of him. “I can’t imagine how good you must feel.”

The low tone in his voice was driving you to insanity. How the fuck was this the same quiet boy you knew in your psychology class?

The ringing was clear and you knew you heard it but chose to ignore it until it stopped ringing.

Fuck it.

Your stomach tightened again and the pressure continued to build as Jimin rubbed against you, gripping your thighs tightly knowing he could leave them bruised.

“J-Jimin I-I need to—” You choked barely finishing your sentence.

“You’re gonna cum for me, hm?” Jimin teased slowing down his movements. “Do you want me to make you cum?”

“God, yes! Jimin! Please…” You meweled.

You never wanted anyone as much as you wanted Jimin at that moment. He had you under a mysterious spell that continuously reeled you into him.

There it was again, the god damn ringing. You swore this was the third time you heard your cell phone ringtone coming from the pocket of Jimin’s jacket.

Unfortunately, Jimin heard it too.

The movements slowly came to a full stop and you whined, almost on the verge of crying because you were so fucking close.

“I think,” Jimin panted. “I think you should answer that.” He chuckled and took a step back away from you so you properly answer your phone call. All you could do was smile weakly at Jimin who had the audacity to lick his lips as he watched you stand up to smooth out your dress.

You dragged your footsteps about two feet away from Jimin only to be greeted by one of your friends speaking loudly, trying to speak over the music. She had asked you to help take your other friend back to her dorm room because she had one too many drinks.

In all honesty, you wanted to decline. You wanted to end the call and pull Jimin back into you to finish what the two of you started; maybe even feel a little bit more than the fabric against you. Instead, you surrendered and agreed to meet on the second flight of stairs on the second floor.

Ending the phone call, you let out a loud sigh and stared out into space.

Damn it, Jihyo. Why did you have to drink so much? It’s Wednesday for christ’s sake, fuck.

“Duty calls?” Jimin sang. You turned your body to find him smiling at you. Sweaty strands of hair clung onto his forehead and you couldn’t help but smile back at him and shyly nod your head.

“Um, Jihyo, my friend, is completely drunk. Sana, another friend, called because she needs some help.” You stumbled on your words, failing to hide the sadness in your tone.

“Well, at least you’re not abandoning her.” Jimin chuckled. “It’s alright, go help your friend.”

You felt defeated. You wanted to stay. You wanted to kiss him again, but all you could say was okay, see you.

“Ah, but first,” Jimin approached you causing your breath to get caught in your throat. “I think I’m going to be needing your number. You know—for research purposes.”

You snorted at his “excuse” and showed no hesitation in exchanging contact information. Jimin stroked your cheek and whispered I’ll see you soon with the most addicting sound of your name leaving his lips at the last second. You turned on your heel and walked towards the door feeling slightly rejuvenated.

Closing the door behind you, you leaned against the cold wood catching your breath. The previous moments playing through your mind like a movie.

The sweet taste of Jimin’s lips, the grip he had on your skin, and the delightful sounds he made were all still crystal clear. Your stomach began to tighten once more and there was no doubt you could feel your core starting to soak up again.

“Well, shit.”

hi hello! new bts scenario writer here ^-^ i haven’t wrote anything in such a long while due to the biggest writer’s block i ever had (i wrote for exo for a while.) also, this is my first time writing a bts scenario huhu. this piece is rough, i know. ill get better T__T oh yeah, this is only part one~

♡ rae jagi

#bts scenario #bts scenarios #bangtan boys #bts #jimin #park jimin #jimin scenario #jimin scenarios #jimin smut #what is smut #get it together rae #enchanted #mochi #rae writes

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boredout305 · 7 years

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Celia Mancini (King Loser) Interview

New Zealand rock ‘n’ roller Celia Mancini is the genuine article. She’s been hit by cars, broken bones at venues and yet continues to come back for more, no stranger to playing shows likely against doctor’s orders.

Performing since the 1980s, Mancini’s played in various bands whose influence can’t be measured in record sales and whose music generally ran contrary to what was popular in New Zealand at the time. (Take her former band, Christchurch’s seminal the Axel Grinders, who would’ve been more at home on Estrus Records than Kiwi label Flying Nun. In fact, the group only released a record on American Lee Joseph’s Dionysus imprint.) Celia is best known for starting King Loser with Chris Heazlewood; the duo also backed Peter Gutteridge in a 1990s incarnation of Snapper. Celia stresses that King Loser was “never a Flying Nun band,” which is true. Nevertheless, Flying Nun released three King Loser albums in the 1990s, all of them musically varied—from surf rock to experimental—and excellent. When the group ground down in the late ‘90s, Celia formed the short-lived Mothertrucker.

King Loser has been active again. Late last year (2016) they toured New Zealand. The shows were filmed by Andrew Moore and a King Loser documentary appears to be in the works. As mentioned earlier, Mancini is no stranger to injury and is currently recuperating from injuries sustained from getting hit by a car; she’s currently biding her time on house arrest. King Loser is set to record and start again once Celia breaks free from the long arm of the law.

Interview by Ryan Leach

Ryan: Did you grow up in Christchurch?

Celia: No. I was actually born in Auckland. I had a really good childhood—one of the best in the world. I’d go sailing and shit like that. My dad was a doctor. My mother’s side was from Scotland. She was fifth-generation Port Chalmers which is part of Dunedin. I realized Auckland sucked by 1985, so I went down and lived in Christchurch.

Ryan: You skateboarded when you lived in Auckland, didn’t you?

Celia: I was a New Zealand skateboarding champ in 1976. There are photos of me that I still have from the newspaper. I was really interested in sports when I was in school. In the 1970s, I was doing slalom. I always rode my trucks loose as. We’d clean up the trophies. It was wide open. There was no designation for men and women in the competitions then. I started skating again in the 1980s. I remember buying a Vision board. I’d skate with my boombox, listening to the Beastie Boys.

In 1988, Duane Zarakov, who was an early drummer for King Loser, asked me to play in his band The Axel Grinders. I was up in Auckland again at the time for some reason. I would move all over the country. I wasn’t into one scene. I remember getting Duane’s postcard to move down so I quit my job. I was in Christchurch two days later. They went from being a covers band to performing original material. We started writing songs together.

Ryan: Had the Axel Grinders released their sole vinyl release yet—the “Apparatus of Love” single on Dionysus?

Celia: No. I wrote “Apparatus of Love,” but they recorded that later on. I had gotten Rita (Le Quesne) to replace me and she appeared on that one. I had gotten kicked out of the Axel Grinders for being too Iggy. They were a bit jealous because I was playing in four different bands and managed Into the Void. Rita played in one of my other bands, The Stepford 5, who had a release on Munster Records. I had a group called The Ono Band which was a Beatles cover band that had some members of Into the Void in it. I also had a lounge band in the ‘80s. David Bowie’s entertainment lawyer was in Christchurch and he used to see us. It was very flashy and we’d play very nice places. All of that was fine by me because we liked the music and I loved the dresses. David Bowie’s entertainment lawyer said we were the best lounge act he’d ever seen. This was sort of pre-lounge, though. I called the music “easy listening.” I’d make enough money off the lounge band to support my rock bands.

Ryan: Was the lounge group the one you had with Bill Vosburgh (Perfect Strangers), After Dinner Mints?

Celia: He was in After Dinner Mints and we also had a duo. Not many people know about the duo we had. Christchurch was really amazing.

Ryan: Right around the time you and Chris (Heazlewood) got King Loser together, you were also both playing in a latter incarnation of Snapper.

Celia: Chris and I were in Dunedin. We had formed King Loser before we joined Snapper. We are both so flexible—into different styles of music. I had just arrived back to New Zealand from a trip I had taken to the States. Pete needed a keyboard player so he asked me to join. And of course, Chris was in on guitar. It was great playing with Peter; we spent a lot of time together. Gutman and I blended so well. Peter had stage fright. He used to drink vodka before playing; skull it. That’s all it was. Chris and I heard some tapes last year of our time in Snapper. We really liked them. I told Chris, “Chris, I thought we were shit in Snapper. This sounds quite good.” Chris said, “I thought so too!”

It was incredibly sad when Peter died. I was busy in court for some rubbish. Heazlewood was on the phone getting Gutman back from Los Angeles to Auckland. We got him back and then he died shortly afterwards.

Ryan: You appear on Snapper’s A.D.M. (1996) record. Snapper was essentially Gutteridge and Mike Dooley by that point, correct?

Celia: Yeah. Brendan Hoffman was involved too. He was a sound-mixer guy. He lives in the States now. Chris and I were quite busy with King Loser by that point so we couldn’t really play with Peter anymore. A.D.M. wasn’t recorded how I would have liked to have heard it recorded. Pete’s vocals needed to be more pronounced. Simple, little Phil Spector things would have helped a lot.

Ryan: I like the single you released on Flying Nun, “Kiasu” (1996).

Celia: I did that in one afternoon! I fucked around, fucked around and then they needed the tracks. I made up “Kiasu” on the spot.

Ryan: What was your relationship like with Flying Nun? Was Lesley Paris your point of contact at the label?

Celia: Lesley is my second cousin. Paul McKessar was at Flying Nun at the time handling A&R. He was a total cunt. Paul McKessar hated me. Shayne Carter informed me that the label wasn’t too happy with me right before a New Zealand tour. At the end of it we arrived at Flying Nun’s offices in Auckland and Paul McKessar started yelling at me. It was like the voice from the intercom on the cartoon show The Peanuts. Unbelievably, he tried to kick me out of my own band!

Ryan: Did this happen around 1996’s Nunfest and the release of Caul of the Outlaw?

Celia: Yeah. Paul was just an A&R guy. I still can’t believe he tried to kick me out of my own band.

Flying Nun was told by other people to sign us. We didn’t care about being on Flying Nun. David Mitchell (3Ds, Chug, Ghost Club, etc.) was telling Flying Nun about us. We rejected their contracts. We signed a three-record deal and we retained the rights to our work—all our merchandising and publishing. We had the right to release records with other labels as well. When I say we did three records with Flying Nun, one of them (Sonic Super Free Hi-Fi) was a rerelease.

Ryan: Right. That one came out on Turbulence Records first.

Celia: Yeah. They were from Belgium. We’ve honestly got about thirty records completed. Chris and I were and remain prolific. We just couldn’t help it. Sean (O’Reilly) is a songwriter now and he’s doing really well. But, again, we were never a Flying Nun band. I just looked at them as a distributor for our records.

Ryan: Looking back on your three LPs, is there one you prefer over the other two?

Celia: I like them all. And like I said, we’ve got heaps more. When we toured last September (2016), new songs came together. That’s why Chris and I were always recording. We were never certain we’d remember songs later on. We’d record stuff and just shove it into a bloody box. The only time we didn’t do that was when we were consciously making an album. Chris would record us on our reel-to-reel.

Ryan: When Flying Nun was presumably spending more money on records and getting slicker, you and Chris were recording on the cheap on your eight-track.

Celia: We always made our own recordings. We didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars on recordings. We didn’t need to do that.

Ryan: I remember chatting with Andrew Tolley (Hasselhoff Experiment, Blood Bags, Perpetrator Records, etc.) and he mentioned Axel Grinders being revelatory. King Loser as well. You were doing something very unique in New Zealand in the 1990s, especially compared to what was popular at the time.

Celia: I’ve always felt that King Loser was really different from other bands. Axel Grinders were too. King Loser was one of the weirdest bands around. Musically, we were always doing different things. Duane and I used to release Axel Grinders tapes ourselves. We’re starting to digitize all of our old stuff, so it’ll start coming out all over the place. There’s Snapper stuff too.

Ryan: There’s footage of you and Chris playing at your old place on K Road. I heard stories of you guys endlessly recording there.

Celia: Yeah, yeah. We were together then….We went on tour to Australia.

Ryan: Was that the tour with Garageland?

Celia: Fuck that band. We went on tour with Loves Ugly Children as well. Garageland opened for us. People came to see us, not them. We were on every fucking magazine cover in New Zealand. It was kind of weird. Once I get out of my criminal situation and get this damn ankle bracelet off of me I want to go back to Australia. I want to go to Japan too. But this ankle bracelet shit is ridiculous. The judge said I was “a danger to society.” So stupid.

Sean (O’Reilly) lives in Auckland currently. We get together. Tribal Thunder and Chris are in Dunedin. Chris is coming up here to Auckland in about six days. So we’ll have a powwow then. We’re going to record again when I can get mobile.

Ryan: How were those King Loser shows that you played last year (2016)?

Celia: Fucking awesome. Great. I loved it.

Ryan: Isn’t Andrew Moore making a King Loser documentary?

Celia: Yeah. He made a New Zealand skateboard documentary (No More Heroes). He left us ladies out. It was such a small subject. I was a skate champ in ’76. He held a question and answer session after the film premiere in Auckland and I could tell he was frightened when he saw me standing up: “Oh, god, Celia’s grabbing the mic!” I wasn’t going to be unpolite. I politely asked him where the ladies where and walked off. But I guess the film was big for him. We’ll see how the King Loser one shapes up.

youtube

#celia mancini #interviews #flying nun #notaflyingnunband #axel grinders #new zealand #snapper #king loser

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divorcebasecamp · 4 years

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This isn’t just another angry dude blog...

It’s not. Really! It’s really not! I love my wife. I really do. We just can’t live with each other. Fucking sucks.

Let me rewind a bit...

My name is neither here nor there. Well, I have a name, and it matters, but some of the things I’m going to write about here are really personal and I don’t want to tell other peoples stories.

In the last 24 months the ol’ universe has been doing it’s level best to bother me. And for sure on occasions it has. Starting somewhere around summer 2018 my grandmother and grandfather started getting sick. Mid 90′s, so no real surprise. They defeated the Nazis but couldn’t do anything about time. Oh Life.

That’s not so bad. It sucks! But it is expected, unfortunately. My Dad and my Uncle simultaneously going into complete emotional meltdown, which they then expressed by sniping at each other over how to care for their parents, accusing each other cruelty and apathy, and ultimately getting into it over the will - no one told me to expect that. That should be in the manual - “you may have to parent your parents one day”

But life goes on, as they say. Well, it did. My wife came home from her therapist one day and finally said the words I realize now I had dreamed of hearing. Lets start a family. We had never been sure. Both being from broken homes, we were scared we might not have what it took. But she had the twinging in her knees, or tubes, or wherever my grandmother says the biological drive to have kids emanates from. I think I currently believe it to exist somewhere just behind the left eye.

Eventually she got pregnant, but from the start it wasn’t quite right. Low growth rates, low levels of some vitamin here, or a mineral there. She knew, poor thing. I didn’t really understand what was going on. I was there, at the appointments etc, I just didn’t really understand. I remember being fascinated at the interior design of the OBGYN’s waiting room. It looked like Joanna Gaines had been at it, Magnolia Journal wall to wall. Classic Nashville. Classic American healthcare system. I have since learnt what I should have been taught. Sorry women folk. I’ll be better.

So first trimester miscarriage. It happens. A bunch aparently. Like 1/3-1/4 of all pregnancies! They should tell you that more! Like, it’s a major stat. She had a heavy bleed suddenly one day. We were standing on the corner of LaFayette, state of Louisiana (as the song goes). That was her motherhood. We were there to visit some friends over from UK. She handled it like a champ. I thought she was going to be ok. She told me how common this was and that we would just try again. OK I thought. It’s your body.

Elsewhere it was a big year for me. I had a great contract for the year set up but it demanded a lot. I’d try and talk to her about it. But it was really not a big deal. She was grateful if anything because not knowing... I thought she was probably hurting a bit more than she wanted to say, but I knew she didn’t want to let it defeat her. I figured it was a very personal journey for her, and I wasn’t prepared to push her to talk if she didn’t want to. I thought we’d get by and try again in a few months.

So when she asked if I’d like to talk about opening our marriage, I was a little surprised. I shouldn’t have been. But we’ll get into that.

I had a panic attack. They’re proper shit. Couldn’t breathe. I thought I was in some kind of nightmare where the girl I had moved across the world for, who I would do anything for, didn’t love me anymore. Again, we’ll get into that, but suffice to say opening our marriage wasn’t why I was scared. And she still loved me.

What followed was 6 months of pain but also genuine attempts to understand. To learn. To be open minded. We started couples therapy to help us have these discussions about us. I started going to see a great therapist, who really helped me. But I still couldn’t get my head around what was going on. I was becoming frustrated, and honestly I felt unwanted. It didn’t make me very nice to be around. I called her a selfish bitch one. I’ll never regret anything so much. In a moment of peak frustration I punched a brick wall. That hurt. That was dumb.

I took a month out in January and went to Missoula, Montana with a suitcase of books and one of the dogs for company. I hiked in the morning, read in the afternoon, and cooked in the evening. I watched eagles fish, sheep climb, and the islands of missoula drift in and out. I made friends, felt more like myself than I had for a couple of years, not the scared hurt thing I had become. Didn’t meet a single son of a bitch. I will never forget that month and the people I met.

When I came back I felt ready to have a real conversation about our future, but as we discussed where we found ourselves after our sabbatical, we found that we couldn’t find the common ground again. Too much had been said, by both of us. And whilst I was ready to try some new arrangement, I thought, I had broken her trust. She didn’t know if I could really get into it. She was worried about her future, not excited. I didn’t want to do that to someone.

So we started thinking about a future in which we weren’t a married couple. We decided we were way more interested in being friends than lining lawyers pockets. So we started separating expenses, getting ready to sell the house, getting ready to figure the next thing out.

That’s more or less where we are now... oh, apart from Corona Virus... That really fucking made things weird.

Currently my contract has been pushed back twice, herself is working from one of the spare rooms, and we are trying to figure out what the fuck to do now. It’s certainly made things slower.

So here we are. I thought this might help.

The purpose of this blog is for me to write. To express. To share. I want to really engage with the things I am thinking and feeling. I want to focus. I want to create space and be generous with my time, energy, and thoughts. I’m not just another angry dude. I’m just a dude who is trying to be better.

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canaryatlaw · 4 years

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okay, I’m sitting on the air mattress in my old room in my parents house in New York. today was a LOT. I woke up at 6, got ready, had to show my neighbor where the cat food is and then navigate public transit with a giant duffel bag and backpack because I was going straight to the airport from work. I also realized at some point that I forgot to call my client who needed to be in court this morning yesterday to remind her, so I did that first thing when I got to the office and she was like yeah I totally forgot and can’t make it which I can’t really blame her for since I should’ve called her but it was not a big deal at all for what it was up in court for so I ended up just resetting it for after New Years and that was that. the first return I was supposed to have never showed, so I was in and out of court rather quickly which was nice. I then spent several hours prepping cases that were up while I was going to be gone. it’s going to be really difficult starting January when we only have three staff attorneys and multiple courtrooms to cover given that one of us is gonna be running clinic 4 out of 5 days of the week and we very regularly end up with cases in 3 different courtrooms, and like my supervisor can fill in to some extent but it’s still gonna be tricky, and of course it just means there’s gonna be more work for each of us. I’m like, trying to think of people I know that might be interested in applying just so we could hopefully find someone sooner lol. We’ll see. so that took a while, had lunch, and coordinated people taking the cases. I called my one client from clinic this week to offer representation and she was like “oh I just really don’t have any money right now” and I was like “oh no, we don’t charge anyone, we’re completely free” and I swear she started like crying on the spot haha it was so sweet. my heart really breaks for her being in such a terrible position (no details, but trust me, it’s heartbreaking). so I was glad I could at least make her day a little bit better. then at 2 the terrible case that my coworker has that’s been going on for literally ever was up in court again. this is after they blocked off 11 am to 5 pm two days in a row and they’re STILL doing testimony, with the opposing counsel a whopping 4 hours into his cross examination and he wasn’t even done yet (to be fair, the direct was like 2 and a half hours, but that’s still a ridiculous amount of time regardless). I forgot how painful it was to sit there and watch this guy rail on and scream and just be the absolute fucking worst and like, I don’t get it at all, it’s like he’s ignored every single strategy they teach you in trial advocacy over and over again like a fucking 2L would know this shit and he’s a former prosecutor??? it was so bad. it ended up getting cut short after like 2 hours because the judge got stuck with late duty and had to take some EOP cases, so they have January 22nd as their next date and sometime in February after that and like, I just feel so damn bad for this client, she was such a champ on cross and kept her cool so well, like honestly I’m pretty sure I would’ve snapped at that point if I was in her shoes so she gets a lot of credit. afterwards we kinda just hung out at the office and laughed at the more ridiculous parts of it and how fucking absurd opposing counsel is, and then discovered in a google search that he had been reprimanded by a federal judge for lying about testimony given under oath because he literally just made something up entirely out of nowhere and tried to pass it off as fact and like...you can’t do that??? sigh. Around 4:30 I headed out, had to say goodbye to the staff attorney we’re losing, and like, as sad as I am that we’re losing one and it’s gonna make things harder on us I also understand her decision because she’d really been struggling with things here and you have to look out for your own wellbeing first. but yeah, took the train to the airport because it was definitely faster than sitting in rush hour traffic trying to get out of the city, so I made pretty good time. checking in took forever because I had this weird designation on my ticket that had to have an agent check me in like manually I think because of the pet thing originally and it apparently hadn’t made it back to them that it’d been cancelled and I’m just like um well I definitely paid and you definitely refunded me so....I don’t really know what else to tell you lol but we figured it out. security was fine, got my gate and got some food, then waited till my final boarding group was called to actually stand up. Since I had a super cheap ticket I ended up in the middle seat towards the back of the plane but I didn’t really mind. I read fanfic for like half the flight by then my eyes were having trouble focusing so I just played candy crush for the rest of it. landed around 10, got picked up, my dad always sends his buddy who runs a car service to come pick me up because he hates laguardia airport with a burning passion and for some reason this time we got designated the stretch limo, so that was kinda fun lol. got home and had a bagel, then chilled with my brother and dad watching hockey for a bit (not that I have any actual interest in watching hockey) then came upstairs to shower and get ready for bed, and now I’m here. It’s officially 2 am and I’d like to not sleep in too too late tomorrow so I’m gonna call it quits here. Goodnight friends. Happy pre-Christmas weekend.

#daily journal #December 2019

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