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looooooooomis · 3 years

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Somebody’s Baby

a stu macher x fem!reader one shot requested by the lovely @slasherscream

I try to shut my eyes, but I can't get her outta my sight. I know I'm gonna know her, but I gotta get over my fright.

pairing: Stu Macher x fem!reader word count: 5.6k warnings: s m u t, longing, fluff, angst, oral, teasing, honestly I went off (my bad)

Stu Macher never really did stand a chance. At least not when it came to you.

He was putty in your hands, whether you knew it or not. He’d do anything for you, everything for you – even if that meant taking a backseat to Billy Loomis. He had to admit, it was gutting to watch you and Billy interact the way you did. The two of you were close – hell, the three of you were close – but there was something about you and Billy that seemed to just…make sense.

And, for the most part, Stu was okay with that. For the most part being the key words. Because, fuck, he’d be a liar if he said that tonight of all nights wasn’t bothering him. It was a night not unlike any other. The three of you had decided on a movie that Stu couldn’t really bring himself to care about all too much as you and Billy harped on and on about whatever it was the two of you were talking about, but it was your attitude that was rubbing him the wrong way.

You were distant tonight. You were cold. You seemed to smile real big whenever Billy would make a comment about the movie but if Stu said a goddamn word it was as though he’d sucker punched you in the gut. It didn’t feel angry, or at least he didn’t think you were angry, but there was something off about the whole damn thing and it was driving him mental.

You were tucked away in the chair with your knees curled up into your chest, frowning at a particularly bloody scene on the TV, a seemingly important one too, but Stu couldn’t bring himself to watch it. He was far too busy trying to discern what the lines on your forehead meant, what the furrowed brow and small, barely-there frown on that pretty face of yours meant. Had he unknowingly done something wrong? He didn’t think so, but stupid shit came out of his mouth all day long so, he supposed, it wasn’t impossible.

But there was a niggling feeling in his gut that told him that couldn’t be it. You weren’t mad or annoyed, you were cold. You were distant. It was as though you’d barricaded yourself away from him and done so with purpose. But why?

Why, why, why?

“It’s eight, Stu,” Billy muttered, far too engrossed in the movie to bother looking his way. “Didn’t you have to be at whatsername’s by eight-thirty?”

Glancing down at the time on his watch, Stu stretched out his long limbs and chanced another look at you only to find that your eyes were solely focused on the wall just beyond the television. For a moment, he remained still, waiting for you to do something. To look at him, to make a quip about his date, to do literally anything besides ignore him, but when your stare remained cast ahead, Stu sighed and stood up to his full height. “Yeah, yeah, I’m going.” He griped. “Think she’ll put out?”

It was meant to be a joke, something to lighten the mood or, at the very least, get you to crack a smile or roll your eyes, but when all you did was continue in your stare-off with the fucking wall, Stu’s stomach fell.

What the fuck was your problem tonight?

“Tact, fucker. Y/N is right here.” Billy rolled his eyes but shot him a small smirk. “And if she has a brain, don’t count on it.”

“Hilarious,” Stu mocked. “You guys need anything before I go? Some water? Some beer? Handful of condoms?”

“Fuck off,” Billy cracked a grin. “Don’t do anything stupid tonight.” He gave Stu a knowing look, being sure to keep his mouth shut around you in fear of letting anything regarding their little charade slip.

“Me?” Stu feigned hurt. “Never.”

Once again, he waited for you to say anything – a goodbye, at the very least – but when he got nothing in return, Stu merely rolled his eyes and walked out of the house.

You, on the other hand, remained stoic as ever as you blinked back a flurry of tears daring to spill out of the corners of your eyes. Your heart was in your stomach and your nails, which had been digging into your palms for the better half of the evening, carved out tiny half-moons into the sensitive flesh as you fought back every urge you had to scream and yell at the idiot for leaving you yet again.

The sound of the front door shutting was enough to make your body relax just enough for a few stray tears to roll down your cheeks. You were just so mad and so incredibly hurt all at once and, while you should have been used to it by now, it never got any easier watching that tall bitch of a man you’d grown to love over the years walk out for yet another date with another woman who was not yourself.

“You okay?” Billy asked, lulling his head towards you from his spot on the couch. He was the one person in the world to know your true feelings about Stu Macher and, while he’d never admit to it out loud, you knew he was oddly protective of you when it came to Stu’s idiocy, especially where his dating life was concerned.

You swallowed hard, not quite trusting your voice in fear of breaking down in front of him. So, instead, you remained silent and barely nodded. Was it hot in here or was it just you? You suddenly felt like you couldn’t breathe as you sat in the dark room with Billy to your left and Stu now long gone. Deep breaths, you thought to yourself, squeezing your palms yet again. Deep, calming breaths.

You heard Billy sigh as he paused the movie. “Y/N,” he muttered, his tone careful, “how’s he going to know how you feel if you don’t actually say shit about it?”

Through the thick blanket of tears still gathering in your eyes, you focused your glare on the dark-haired man. “Fuck off,” you barked out, “like it’s that easy.”

“It is,” he shrugged. “What’s stopping you?”

“The idiot has a date every week, Billy,” you hissed, “am I supposed to show up with a bouquet of fucking roses declaring my feelings as his tongue’s down some other girls’ throat?” With your emotions at an all-time high, you stood up from the chair and raised a shaky hand to anxiously toy with your hair. “I mean does he have to parade his shit around here the way he does? It drives me nuts.”

Billy remained quiet and still as he watched you pace in front of the tv. He’d seen this frenzied look on your face only once before, but he knew what was coming next. It wasn’t often that you let your feelings finally bubble over to the brink of explosion, but if your current state was any indication, he was about to witness a breakdown.

Standing up to his full height, Billy quietly walked towards you and placed his hands on either shoulder, holding you in place as his brown eyes searched your own watery gaze. “Hey,” he cooed, brow puckered. “Stu’s a fucking idiot if he doesn’t see what’s in front of him.”

You chewed on your lip in an attempt to contain the sob desperately clawing its way up your throat. “I can’t watch him do it anymore, Bill,” you finally said, barely above a whisper. “It just hurts too much.”

It wasn’t often you were met with the soft side of Billy Loomis, but you cherished those moments – though so far and few between – each and every time. With a sigh, Billy wrapped his arms around your shoulders and tugged you close. He said nothing, though, because what could he say? Stu was a fucking moron when it came to you, he knew as much, but uttering those words at a time like this would only hurt you more.

You sniffed, your tears bleeding into the cotton of his white t-shirt. “I swear he—”

“Wow,” Stu’s voice rang out into the silence of the room. Snapping your head towards his sudden appearance, you froze in Billy’s arms, terrified of just how much he’d heard. At first, he seemed to just stand there for a second, staring at the two of you wrapped up in each other’s arms with a resigned, almost defeated look in his blue eyes. But all at once, in typical Stu fashion, that serious undertone slowly morphed into an almost amused sneer. “You two move fast, huh? Guess I should’ve grabbed those condoms.”

You rolled your eyes, barely hearing Billy’s sly comeback as you gently pushed him away. That heaviness in your chest that had made you cry only seconds prior was now a raging fire inside of your chest. The audacity this big, dumb, ass of a man had.

“Hilarious, Stu,” you griped, sniffing as you walked back to your chair. “Forever the comedian.”

“Hey,” he held his hands up in surrender. “No shame in it, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You didn’t interrupt shit,” Billy said. “And you know it.”

“What are you even doing back?” You snapped, glowering across at the idiot. “Or did you get bored of this one already?” You made a show of looking down at your watch-less wrist. “Five whole minutes, that’s got to be a new record.”

Stu pretended to laugh. “I forgot my wallet, ice queen,” he grabbed his wallet off of the table but continued to glare down at you. “What’s your problem tonight, anyway? You’ve got a stick shoved so far up your ass it’s practically coming out of your—”

“I wouldn’t go there,” Billy warned, flicking the play button on the remote. “Stop while you’re ahead.”

Stu barely glanced at him. “Nah, Billy,” he shrugged and took a seat on the edge of the couch closest to where you sat. “I’m curious. Can’t a guy be curious as to why a broad suddenly decides to give you the cold shoulder?”

“I warned you,” Billy merely shrugged.

“A broad?” You growled. “Get fucked, Macher.”

“What is your issue?” Stu reiterated. “I’m serious. You’ve been acting like a—”

“I’m not getting into this with you.” Pushing yourself off of the chair, you stormed passed both men towards the front door. “Enjoy your date, dipshit.”

Stu watched you go in utter confusion but before he could get up to follow you and continue this entire fiasco, Billy smacked him upside the head. “Leave her be, idiot,” he merely said, not tearing his eyes away from The Exorcist. “Let her cool off.”

“Cool off?” Stu asked with a furrowed brow. “Cool off from what? You two got that heated that fast that she stormed out because I came back inside?”

A long, deep, heavy sigh escaped Billy’s lips as he – yet again – had to pause the movie. His eye twitched in irritation as he surveyed the almost dopey look on Stu’s face. “I just want to watch this damned movie and it’s like a fucking soap opera with you two.”

Stu blinked. “What are you talking about?”

“You seriously don’t know, do you?” When all he received was a blank stare from his friend, Billy pinched the bridge of his nose and swore under his breath. “You’re even dumber than you look, you know that?”

»»————-¤————-««

It was a few hours later when there was a casual knock at your front door. Your parents were gone for the night and, as you glanced at the time, your stomach gave a nervous twist. It was nearing midnight and, while it was a Friday and you were by no means tired, just who would be knocking at your door this late at night eluded you.

Debating on whether or not to answer, you remained firmly situated on your couch as you eyed the front door in disdain. Maybe if you waited long enough, they’d move onto the next house and your life could be spared for another night. But, before you could get too much hope on the matter, another loud knock erupted from the door. This time, however, followed by an all too familiar voice.

“Hey dipshit,” Stu’s muffled voice rang out, “open up.”

“The fuck?” You whispered in confusion before making your way to the front door. Sure enough, as you unfastened the lock, there he stood. Stu Macher in all his glory. His eyes were somewhat wild as he silently stood on your front porch, soaking you in from all angles as his Adams apple bobbed up and down in his throat. For the first time in…well, ever, it appeared Stu was at a loss for words.

“Stu, what the hell?” You asked. “My parents could have been home do you know how late it is?”

“Yeah,” he simply said, not moving an inch from where he stood. “But this couldn’t wait.”

You blinked. “What couldn’t wait?” You asked, glancing over his shoulder to see if this was some weird prank that he and Billy thought up. “Come inside, you’re freaking me out.”

“I—” His words seemed to die on his tongue. “I just need to know if it’s true.”

You frowned. “If what’s true?” You racked your brain for a possible answer but came up empty. “Did something come up on your date or something? If it’s about that rumour with me and Matt Sewinski, I promise you that’s not true. The guy’s a creep.”

Stu shook his head but his eyes remained glued to your face, unblinking. “No,” he simply said, “and I didn’t end up going out with Heather.”

You wrinkled your nose. “I thought it was Sarah tonight?”

Stu shut his eyes in sheer annoyance. “Heather, Sarah, whoever the fuck it was,” he opened those blue eyes open again and the raw intensity inside of them made you take a small step back. “I didn’t go.”

You swallowed hard and suddenly felt a wave of nausea overcome you. “Why?” You gulped out.

Stu licked his lips and ran a hand through his hair. He was yet to step foot inside your house and between the maniacal look in his eye and the chilled breeze seeping in through the open door, you shivered absentmindedly. “I talked to Billy.”

Four words. Four tiny little words was all it took to make the room around you spin on its axis. A cold sweat broke out across your chest as you averted your eyes to the wall directly beside his head. Maybe if you didn’t quite look him in the face, you could get out of what was about to become an incredible awkward, painful situation. With your breath trembling, you swallowed again and tried to find your voice. “About what?”

Stu cocked his head to the side. “Y/N,” he warned, “cut the shit.”

Another painful gulp. Your throat felt like it was closing in on you as you stood there facing the boy you’d been in love with for as long as you could remember. You’d often dreamt of this day, the day where he’d finally realize your feelings only to have them reciprocated fully – but when you’d pictured it, Stu looked a lot less crazy than he did looking back at you now. But, even still, there was a glimmer of emotion shining brightly behind those blue eyes that made your breath hitch in your throat.

It made you nervous.

Worse, it made you hopeful.

“Stu,” you tried to find some conviction in your tone, but your nerves got the better of you. “Can you just get inside first? You’re scaring me.” Despite feeling as though you were going to faint, you managed to reach across the divide to yank him inside of your house. Locking the door behind you, you took a few even breaths before turning back around to face him. “What did Billy say?”

Stu ignored your question as he began to pace around your hallway. He was this tall, broad, string bean of a man on a regular day, but the mass of him tonight was all encompassing as he governed your foyer. “Seven years,” he began, his voice slightly shaky. “We’ve known each other for seven fucking years, Y/N. And I’ve hung on your every fucking word for all of six years, eight months and a handful of days, give or take.” He turned on his heel rather abruptly to face you. “But you liked Billy.”

You opened your mouth to respond to the first half of his statement before realization dawned on you. Grimacing, you shook your head. “Billy? He’s like my brother, where the hell did that come from?”

“You act like he hung the fucking moon, Y/N!” He exclaimed, emphatically. “What was I supposed to think?”

“What?” You shook your head in sheer confusion. “Okay, one thing at a time. Billy is one of my best friends. So are you. What’s the problem here?”

“The probl—?” Stu laughed. “The problem? For seven fucking years you’ve been the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person I think of before I go to sleep. And literally every fucking second in between. And this whole goddamn time, I thought you were in love with Billy.”

You were reeling. You weren’t entirely sure if your heart was beating as loud as it appeared to be, but you were sure he could hear it from where he stood a few feet away. “I—” You tried to form a sentence – any sentence – but nothing seemed to suffice. “But the dates?” Were the only words that seemed to spill from your lips. “You were dating – are dating – constantly.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out, “wonder why.”

You weren’t sure when you’d done it or just how your legs managed to carry you back into the living room, but you found yourself falling against the arm of the couch in an almost dream-like state. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m not trying to say anything,” Stu fussed. “I want to know if what Billy told me was true.” He walked up to you and searched your face. “Do you love me?”

You didn’t answer at first. You couldn’t. Not when it felt as though your lungs were about to explode in your chest. You must have opened your mouth a dozen times over, each time with the promise of a formative sentence, but nothing seemed to suffice.

Suddenly Stu’s hands were on you. Squeezing your thighs with those large hands, he demanded your focus as he swooped down and caught your eye. “I need you to answer me, doll.”

You were so focused in on the overwhelmingly glorious feeling of his hands on your thighs that you forgot to answer. Hell, you forgot to breathe. It wasn’t until you slowly managed to tear your eyes away from his hands to trail up the rest of his body towards that striking face of his, that you found your words.

“You came to my house at midnight. You’ve been the one going on dates like it’s a part time job. You’re the one claiming to have been hanging on my every word for the better half of our friendship so, no, Stu, I’m not saying a fucking word until you tell me what it is that brought you here this late?” You pushed his hands off of your thighs and stood up. “All I’ve done this entire time is sit idly by and watch you carry on like Heffner at the Playboy Mansion. You want me to answer you? Not until I get a—”

Your answer came in the form of a kiss.

On instinct, your hands tangled through his hair as his tongue slid along your bottom lip. He might have been on your shit list at the moment, but fuck he was a good kisser. You’d been thinking about this very moment for as long as you could remember. Longer, even, and god was it everything you thought it would be and more.

His hands were on your face at first, cradling it gently as he backed you into the sofa, and then they were on your neck, holding you close as his tongue massaged against your own. Shivering beneath his touch, you instinctively leaned into his broad chest as the pair of you continue to stand there, kissing like your lives depended on it.

“Stu,” you mumbled against his lips. “What are we doing?”

“Kissing” he rasped out before finding your lips yet again. “Bed or couch?”

Every red flag in your head was going off to stop this and properly talk about what was not so subtly insinuated only seconds prior, but he just felt so good and you’d wanted this so so long. “Bed,” you told him breathlessly, without a second thought.

Stu wasted no time in leading you towards your bedroom, kissing his way down your neck as you stumbled down the narrow hallway. Obviously losing his patience about halfway through, he pushed you up against the wall and trailed sloppy kisses down your jaw and neck. “I love you, if that wasn’t obvious.” He breathed out. “Like, a lot.”

His words struck you blind. Ever the dutiful distraction, however, Stu’s hand trailed down your sweatshirt before settling on the waistband of your pajama shorts. Your body reacted to the promise of his hand. Arching into him, you bit your lip and sighed in contentment as his fingers slipped beneath the band. You were already soaked. Your body responded to the man in a way you couldn’t begin to comprehend, and you weren’t sure you wanted to. And as his middle finger slid into your folds, instantly finding your clit, a soft moan escaped your lips.

“Is this the horny part of your brain talking?” You growled, tugging at the ends of his hair so that you had full access to his lips. “Or are you serious?”

“So fucking serious.” He hummed into your mouth. He pinched your clit, garnering a rather surprised hiss to escape from your lips as your entire body lurched forward. Hearing him chuckle, you popped an eye and began to pull his shirt over his head. When you tossed it across the hallway, his eyes met yours. “Do you love me?”

“Yeah, but I have bone to pick with you first,” you chided, doing your best to control your breathing as he quickened his pace on your clit.

He ducked his head down to bite your lip. “Unless it’s this bone,” he ground his hips into you, and you could feel his rock-hard erection even through his jeans. “It can wait.”

You laughed before you could think of stopping yourself. “Jesus Christ, you’re disgusting.”

He was smirking across at you. “You love it.”

Still grinning, you rolled your eyes before your lips took refuge on his neck. Which, as it turned out, was a massive turn-on for Stu Macher. Running your tongue along it and nipping at the sensitive flesh, was getting him incredibly riled up if the bulge in his jeans was any indication. Biting down on the sensitive flesh, the groan it drew out of his mouth was enough to make your already wet pussy clench around his fingers.

“Fuck,” he drew out, sliding the finger that had been assaulting your clit only seconds prior inside of you.

You let out a small moan of your own as you hurriedly got to work on his belt. “Why the fuck wouldn’t you just tell me how you felt?” When you’d managed to practically rip it off of his waist, you wasted no time in unzipping his jeans. His cock sprung free within seconds.

“I thought you liked Billy,” he rasped out gruffly as you began to pump his cock with your hand. “What was I supposed to do?”

You wiggled free from the hand currently down your shorts and dropped to your knees. Looking up at him through your thick eyelashes, you raised your brow. “You could have asked me?” You reminded him, swirling your tongue around the tip of that perfectly girthy cock. The man might have been a pain in the ass but good god he had the assets to make up for it.

Stu braced himself against the wall behind you and threw his head back. Fuck, you were lethal with that mouth of yours. “Hindsight,” he breathed out.

You released his cock with a pop. “You’re an idiot.” Was all you said before getting back to work. With your hand, you circled the base of his dick and took the length of him inside your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip each time you made your way back up.

He grabbed your hair and gave it a firm pull. “Fuck,” he growled. “Keep going.”

You hummed against his dick, digging your nails into his thigh briefly before looking back up at him. “Or what?” He allowed his forehead to fall against his forearm currently stabilizing him against the wall. You knew you were driving him crazy, but he’d done the same thing to you for the last seven years and you were nothing if not a petty bitch when you wanted to be. “Say it again.”

He furrowed his brow. “Say what?” Realization dawned on him. “Fuck, baby, you keep doing that I’ll put a ring on your finger tomorrow.” Stu’s blue eyes were hungrily taking you in. How you’d managed to stay fully dressed as he stood there with his jeans around his ankles and his cock out was beyond him but, sure enough, that was his reality. “I love you. A lot.”

You dug your nails into his thigh again, and slowly licked up the base of his cock. “Hmm,” you hummed with a nod of your head, releasing it to stand up to your full height. His eyes were pleading with you to finish him off, but as you slinked up the wall and mirrored his hungry gaze, he surprised you by sliding his calloused hand up the side of your neck until it cupped your cheek. You were practically nose-to-nose as he slowly pinned you against the wall and, as he leaned forward and nudged your nose with his, a slow, lazy grin broke out across your face. “I love you, too.”

Slowly, you leaned in and kissed him. Unlike the deliberate make-out session you’d had minutes prior, this kiss was slow and methodical. When you pulled away, you kissed the tip of his nose and nodded towards your bedroom. “Get on the bed.”

Stu’s eyebrows shot up in amusement. “Pushy.”

You gave his dick a tug. “Go.”

He swooped in again and kissed you before haphazardly kicking off his shoes and jeans, punting them across the hallway as he backed you into your bedroom. When you were close enough to your bed, he broke the kiss to peel off your sweatshirt. Throwing it across the room, his hands were back on you within seconds, kneading and massaging your breasts before taking one in his mouth. Expertly, his tongue ran along your nipple before he began to suck and nip at them. Arching into his mouth, you fisted a handful of his hair and groaned as he pulled you in even closer.

“Stu,” you moaned, shutting your eyes momentarily as you allowed yourself to get lost in the feeling of his mouth on your tits. The man truly was a god with his tongue.

But you had a trick up your sleeve. A little payback, if you will. And this, melting into his mouth, was not part of the plan.

Hating yourself, you pushed him away. The back of his knees hit your bed and you watched as he fell back onto the soft mattress with a slight bounce. There was confusion in his stare as he sat there ogling you. “Get over here,” he beckoned, voice low.

Slowly, you shimmied out of your pajama shorts, feeling his eyes on you every step of the way as you stepped out of them and walked towards the bed. Towards him. Sitting himself up, he opened his legs so you could step between them. His hands were slow as they trailed up and down your thighs, hips, and waist before sliding around to your ass. Squeezing and pulling at your cheeks, he pulled you closer and placed a tender kiss to your sternum before craning his neck up to peer up at you.

“I always knew you had a thing for my ass.” You raked your fingers through his hair, pushing it back and away from his forehead as you grinned down at him.

His answer came in the form of another firm squeeze of your ass only rather than stop there, he tugged you closer until you were tumbling onto his lap. You gripped his shoulders as you straddled his lap, subtly grinding your hips so his erection settled between the folds of your pussy, rubbing against your clit.

“Lay down on your stomach,” he uttered. When he noticed your apprehension, he raised a single eyebrow up at you and squeezed again. “Do you trust me?”

You nodded mutely and did as you were told. And, before you knew it, you were sliding off of his lap to lay stomach-down on your bed. You felt the bed shift as Stu crawled towards you but before you could question him on it, you felt his hands slide beneath your hips to pull you up so that your ass was raised in the air.

“What are you—”

Your words died in your throat as you felt his tongue glide along your pussy. Gasping, you nearly buckled forward, but caught yourself on your pillow. You were face down, buried in the comforter and pillows of your bed, but with your hips bent at the level Stu had moved them into, he had full access to both your pussy and your ass. You could feel his fingers kneading into your ass as his lapped up your every fold until settling on your clit. You groaned and buried your face into the pillow as he began to suck your clit. You could hear how wet you were as his mouth imbibed every inch of your pussy.

His name tore out of your throat and your knuckles whitened as you gripped the bedsheets. The veins in your neck swelled with every laboured breath you managed to draw and you found yourself bucking into his mouth as an orgasm rippled through your body. You moaned and groaned and cursed into the bed but Stu’s mouth was relentless. And as he pinched your clit all the while still lapping you up, you all but collapsed. When he was sure you couldn’t take another second of torture, he pulled away and allowed you to collapse onto the bed. Your cheeks were flushed, and your lips were parted as you attempted to catch your breath. With a quiet chuckle, he kissed his way up your spine, grinning against your skin as your legs continued to twitch.

“Can I?” He asked, his cock at the ready.

Nodding, you gasped when you felt him slide inside of you. He bit down on your shoulder as he thrust into you and his quiet moans and unsteady breath was enough to kill you. “Fuck,” he whispered. “You feel so fucking good.”

This was a high unlike any other for Stu. Watching his cock slam into you, watching your ass slap against him with every wild thrust and pump he provided and feeling just how fucking wet you were for him – this was the unattainable high. You were the unattainable high.

He reached around to play with your clit again. He could feel it throbbing between his fingers and, feeling you tremble made him weak. Quickening his pace on your clit and steadying his thrusting to ensure you finished again, Stu bit down on your earlobe. “Come for me, baby.”

Your answer came in the form of another thick, guttural moan as you came undone yet again. He watched you quiver and shake and the vision of it was enough for him to quicken his thrusts. Groaning, his hands fell from your clit to hold your hips as he pounded into you. The sound of your cheeks slapping against him was drawing him closer and closer to one hell of an orgasm and as you let out one last breathy moan, his whole body seemed to erupt in fire.

His breathing was heavy as he came inside of you and the more sensitive his cock got with every thrust, his pace slowed. For a moment, neither of you moved. Instead, he allowed his forehead to fall back against your shoulder before he slowly pulled out.

“If I’d have known that’s what I was missing, we should have had this talk a lot sooner.” You teased, earning a playful smack to your ass from the man. Grinning, you flopped back onto the pillow and stared up at him. He was leaning on one arm as those blue eyes scraped over every inch of your face. You could see the words he wanted to say splayed out across his face and found yourself reaching up to brush his hair back and away from his sweaty forehead.

“Right back at ya,” you smiled.

Fuck, you really were in love with the idiot.

#matthew lillard #stu scream #stu macher #ghostface #scream stu #Stu Macher x reader #Stu Macher x fem!reader #Stu Macher x you #slashers x reader #scream #scream 1996 #scream film #scream movie #billy loomis #Billy Loomis x reader #Ghostface x you #Ghostface x reader #scream x reader

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cinna-stars · 3 years

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Worth Waiting For

Uhh, okay, this is my first ever fanfic! I might continue it based on the reception, but it was a few thoughts I had in my head that I wanted down on paper.

18+! Some sexual themes and content throughout, however for those experienced smut readers, this is some mild sauce, not very much spice.

I have to credit @cyancherub for making me think about Kiri smelling like cinnamon, the thought hasn’t left my brain.

Kirishima x Fem!reader

A cool breeze whispers through the slightly ajar window of your dorm room. The sun set a little while ago; studying always seems to eat up most of your free time, so this wasn’t exactly a surprise. You lean back in your desk chair, arms up, and stretch your muscles into a big yawn. The sudden contracting muscles have your stomach gurgling. It’s definitely time to take a break, so you close your textbook and stand up from your desk. I wonder if there’s any of those expensive sounding potato chips that Momo bought back from her trip abroad left over? The thought makes you salivate as you begin towards your door. You glance to the mirror in the corner and look at your own reflection: hair pulled into a loose, messy bun, torso swallowed up by an old band shirt Denki gave you (after a conversation initiated by Mineta on what you liked to wear to bed) and bare legs sticking out from the hem. Shouldn’t be a problem, as long as Iida isn’t feeling like a stick in the mud this evening. You open your door and begin creeping your way to the kitchen, hoping to keep noise levels to a minimum as to not disturb anyone who might be sleeping already.

Your ears perk up when you hear conversation coming from the communal area.

“On a scale from 1-10, with ten being the most boring, you have exceeded my expectations and we’ve hit an 11.”

“Shut up dude, it’s an absolute cinematic masterpiece. This is why you don’t have the remote- we’d be watching Care Bears or some shit.”

You approach the seating area to see Bakugou, Kirishima, Sero and Denki. The latter two arguing over what to watch. Bakugou looks like he’s about to blow a fuse, so Kirishima chimes in,

“Hahah, okay guys, why don’t we just watch a horror movie, like Scream or something? It’s an easy watch.”

“Sounds like a good idea as long as Kaminari doesn’t shit himself.” Sero tries to start again, but this is perfect timing for you to interject.

“Sero, I’m sorry, last time I checked, you’re the one who had to ‘leave suddenly’ when we watched Halloween.” A smirk appears on your face from ear to ear as all four boys turn their head your direction. You notice an empty spot next to Kiri and take the opportunity to sit, careful not to flash anyone.

“Hey Y/N don’t be startin’ on me. I have plenty of stories about you that we could share you know? What about the Jaegerbomb incident?” Sero matched your grin, and you feign shock by slapping your hand to your heart.

“You’re breaking my heart, Hanta. Are you the only ones up?”

“Yeah Iida sort of ‘encouraged’ everyone to go to bed early because of the test tomorrow, but” Denki motions in Bakugou’s direction “the angry Pomeranian barked and he gave up with us.” Bakugou snaps his head up from his phone to stare Denki down, but realizing he’s just proving his point, sighs and goes back to scrolling on his phone.

“You okay Baku-babe?” he grunts and flips you off, but you could see the corner of his lip turn up in a weak smile at the affectionate nickname. You knew he meant well, especially after the time you had spent together over the last summer with the guys; he just had a defensive temperament.

“You wanna join us, y/n?” Kiri propositions with a wide grin. His hair was still styled into sharp points from classes today, contrasting with his relaxed clothing choice of a t-shirt, shorts and crocs. He’d also made the addition of a white bandana around his forehead. As usual, he was looking incredible.

After the time spent together as a group over the break, it was great to get to know everyone better. As Sero’s oldest friend, it was always easier to stick by him, which had ended up in your favour by meeting these clowns. You’d slowly got closer to the other three boys too, but there was something about Kirishima you couldn’t shake.

The way you felt when you were left together alone in the same room at a party, or when the other guys ended up flaking so you spent the night together at his place, there was always a feeling of excitement, in more ways than one.

You’ve never been very good at flirting and you just seem to come across as an anxious mess, but Kiri was pretty much just as bad. Meaning neither of you ever made a move. Just awkward giggles and eye contact that lasted just a little bit too long for friends.

“I actually came to steal some of Momo’s fancy chips but yeah, let me get a snack and I’ll be ready. You guys want anything?” You get up off the couch and start your way to the kitchen.

“BEER. BEER. BEER.” Denki chants, making you giggle.

“Oh I’ll come and help you carry them!” Kiri jumps up to follow behind you. You can hear Sero make a ‘wha-PISH’ whipping sound which makes Denki burst out with laughter. In their defense, it was painfully obvious you were both pining for each other.

The kitchen isn’t far but it is out of earshot of the sitting area. You open the cupboard in the corner to find Momo’s chip bag, left sat there completely empty. “Oh come ON” you sigh, picking up the bag and placing it in the trash.

“No chips left? Don’t worry I got you covered.” Kiri stretches to the gap between the top of the cupboard and the ceiling, feeling about with his hand. Your eyes fixate on the skin that is now showing just above the waistband of his shorts. You slowly move your view up the side of his torso, his shirt draping over his body in all the right places, and then to his face, one eye closed and tongue sticking out in concentration. He totally caught you checking him out and now you’re both stood there blushing like idiots. He finally located the bag he was looking for and brings his hands back down, showing off the slightly dusty bag of unopened chips.

“These are your favourites, right?” You stand in bewilderment looking at the bag and nod. “There are many bonuses to being one of the tallest in this dorm” he grins. He even remembered your favourite chips? You can’t help but smile back.

“Thank you so much. Oh let me get the beers!” you walk over to the fridge and open it up, bending over to search for the well hidden cans. You know your ass is on show, and you’re doing everything you can to make it the best view. Arching your back slightly, barely moving your hips from side to side, putting on a full show without being too obvious. “Ah I found them!” You gather them into your arms, the cold metal against your skin sending shivers up your spine and making your nipples protrude from the thin material of your shirt. You stand back up and close the fridge, turning around to a very red in the face Kirishima. You send a sweet smile his way.

“Do you mind taking a couple they’re coldddd” you whine. He composes himself and grabs the first can he can see looking ready to fall. He then proceeds to take another, slowly exposing more of your chest and your hardened nipples. You notice his eyes dart to them and then back on the beers. Are you two really going to carry on like this? Acting like the sexual tension couldn’t be cut with a knife? His wandering eyes now have you blushing and you’re quick to fill the hanging silence. “Should we really be drinking when we have a test tomorrow? I’m no NARC but you know what Denki can get like. He’ll wake up the whole house.”

“It’ll be fine. The only ones that know where the rest of the stash is are you and me. As long as you can keep a secret, we’re Gucci” he winks.

“Did you… really just use the term ‘Gucci’? like completely unironically?” You laugh, nudging his side.

“Shut upppp y/n. Come on let’s get back to them before Bakugo kills Dumb and Dumber.”

“Hoes and bros we come bearing beverages!” You walk in and pass out the three beers you held to the boys, Kiri slowly following with the chips and the last two drinks.

“Wait, who are the hoes?..... oh.” Kaminari has a moment of self-realization and stares at the beer in his hand.

“Denki don’t listen to her, she is the last one to be calling anyone a hoe” Sero hits you with another of what will be many insults of the night.

“Uhhhh says the guys who has a body count tally on his wall. If you ever get with Mina you’re going to need to take a trip to Home Depot to paint over those you know?” You counter.

“Can we watch the damn film already?! Could’ve watched half the fucking thing by now.” Bakugou finally lets off some of the pent up steam. Both you and Denki lift your arms up to your forehead in a salute. “Yes sir!”

Grabbing a blanket, you and Kiri get back into your original seats next to each other on the sofa furthest away from the TV. Sero is on the chair to Kiri’s right, sprawled over it in the most boyish way possible, legs stretched wide and arms hanging over the back. Denki and Bakugo share the sofa to your left, Bakugou reserved to the spot at the very end, finally turning his phone off, while Denki almost mimics Sero’s positioning, but one hand is wrapped around his beer chugging it a bit too fast. Sero presses play as you sit back into the sofa. Kiri’s arm is already draped over the back of the headrest, and it’s only a matter of time until his arm drapes around your shoulder and you lean into him.

You’re about ten minutes into the movie when he starts to move his fingers in little circles on your upper arm. If anyone saw you right now, they’d assume you two were together. The months you’ve both spent flirting and teasing, the light touches and the lingering cuddles. This is becoming unbearable for you, its overwhelming. How haven’t you kissed yet? You weren’t really a ‘hoe’ as Sero said, but you certainly weren’t inexperienced and have never had this trouble before, so what was stopping you now? If things continued like this, you were going to explode.

You look up at Kiri, admiring the contours of his face against the light of the TV. The way his eyebrows slightly furrow, and the way he’s chewing his bottom lip between his teeth in concentration. You inhale the mild aroma of cinnamon, which is a scent that follows him around everywhere. You’re certain he’s aware you are staring, by the light blush reforming on his cheeks, but he allows you to for just a little longer. Right up until Denki yelps aloud from a minor jump scare in the film, causing you to jolt yourself and grab onto Kiri’s shirt.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared?” he asks, voice low and husky. “Don’t worry, I got you.” He lifts his free arm and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“I-I wasn’t scared. Denki made me jump” you pout.

“Aww, even worse haha” he chuckles, the vibrations flow through your body, straight to your core, making you instantly wet. If he ever really knew the affect he had, you might just die from embarrassment. You release his shirt and return your head to his shoulder; however, his hand has maneuvered itself away from your upper arm and is now placed on your hip. The large amount of warmth is slowly followed by a very light squeeze of reassurance, and you’ve never been more aware that you aren’t wearing any shorts.

His breathing has now quickened, and his hand feels like it might even be shaking a little bit. He was so nervous, which makes him even more endearing. A wave of adrenaline rushed through you as you lift your hand to rest atop of his, to give him the assurance that it is absolutely okay to have his hand there.

About three quarters of the way into the film, all drinks have been consumed, chips have been eaten, Sero pauses and gets up for a pee break. “Couldn’t your bladder have waited? There isn’t that much longer left Se-bro” Kiri teases

“Ei, I don’t think I know anyone who could wait as long as you have” he leans down and darts his eyes between the two of you. You glare with intent to BURN. You thought too long for a comeback and unfortunately, he’s already happily waltzing off to the bathroom.

Kiri turns to you with a smile and lowers his voice. “Did nobody tell tape face that anything worth having is worth waiting for?” and you swear in that moment an entire flutter of butterflies were trying to escape you. That’s the most direct he’s ever been and it’s not something easy to ignore.

“I know you both have hidden the beer and I take personal offense.” Denki bellows. “I bet it’s on top of the cupboard where Kiri keeps all the good stuff” and he gets up and skips off to the kitchen, fully convinced he’s going to find what he’s looking for.

“I’m going to bed. Gotta be up early and you extras are pissing me off.” Bakugou gets up and stretches. “Love you, Bakubro! Mwah!” both you and Kiri heckle him with air kisses and you are met with yet another middle finger as he strolls off to his dorm room, that small smirk still present.

There’s that feeling coming back again. The way you feel whenever you’re alone with Kirishima. But this is the most compromised you’ve been: you’re basically half naked, he’s got his hand on your hip and he just dropped an absolute bomb of a line thanks to Sero. You can’t help yourself and before you truly think it through,

“Ei, I think I’m done waiting.” You lift your head off his shoulder, faces only a few inches apart. You can feel both your heart rates quicken in sync and your bodies getting hotter. He raises his hand and takes your chin in his hand, urging your lips forward onto his. The anticipated contact sends electricity through your body and the kiss deepens quickly, his tongue licks your lower lip asking for entrance and you accept immediately, releasing a soft moan from the motion.

You twist your body round so that you’re straddling his thigh, his wandering hand had slipped under the fabric of your shirt in the same place, playing with the fabric of your underwear. Your hands find their way to the back of his head, pushing him further into your mouth. You both are getting sloppy as lust takes over and you find your hips involuntarily grinding on his thigh. He breaks away from the kiss, pulling at your lower lip and working his way down your jaw to your neck, nipping and sucking lightly, causing louder moans to escape you.

“So- fucking long- I’ve waited- to touch you like this” he groans out between kisses and bites, sure to leave a mark. “Sound so pretty”

“Ah- me too, I- fuck” the stimulation from his voice and touch is almost overwhelming, but clarity sets in quicker than you’d like it too. “Sero will- ah- be back any second” and you release your grip on his hair. He’s really trying to pout at you, but he can’t help let his goofy smile beam through. You stare at each other for a few seconds, both absolutely beaming with happiness. He lets out an almighty sigh,

“Uggggh, you’re right. Hey, what are you doing after this?” he asks as you settle back down next to him, making you chuckle.

“Well I was planning on going back to my dorm and sleeping. Unless you have a better offer?” you beam.

“Well…” his grin gets wider, “you know there’s a sequel to Scream, yknow? Think you might wanna… what’s it called..”

“Scream 2.”

“I can make you scream, too. Sure” and you erupt into laughter together, from his disgustingly awful pun.

Sero approaches from the corridor “Well you two sure can clear a room.”

“I’d blame it on Kiri’s terrible puns, but Bakubabe went to bed and Electabuzz is currently trying to find the rest of the beer but- oh there you are” Denki walks in, with a pout on his face, and flops back on the couch in disappointment.

“Denks, how about we throw a little party tomorrow after the test. We’ll let you in on where the secret stash is, too.” You offer, his expression immediately switching to that of delight.

Even though there was only a half hour left of the movie, it felt like hours until the end credits started rolling. Denki had managed to fall asleep and was snoring at full velocity, and the only person left paying full attention was Sero, as you couldn’t stop your brain from wandering from anticipation.

He shut the TV off and you tasked yourself with waking up Denki while Kiri cleaned up the empty beer bottles.

“Kami, come on sweetie, you need to go to bed.” You nudge him slightly causing him to stir. Sero walks over, and gives him a hard slap on the ass

‘WAKE UP ASSHOLE! Iida will kill you if you sleep on the couch”

“…I- sleep- your mom-..” he sits up and rubs his eyes

“Don’t be so rough Sero, he’s so sleepy look at hiiiimm” You say, admiring how cute he looked in such tired state. Kaminari finally gets up and all four of you head to the lift… shit.

You are Denki are on the 3rd floor, Kiri is on the 4th and Sero is on the 5th… how are you going to get to Kiri’s room without being suspicious?

A/N: Thank you if you read this in full! Please let me know what you think and if you’d be wanting to read the next part (which would include a lot more spice!)

#kirishima smut #kirishima #kirishima eijirou #kirishima x you #kirishima icons #kirishima imagine #kirishima x reader #kirishima fluff #mha x reader #mha smut #kirishima x y/n #kiribaku #denki kaminari #hanta sero

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voiceless-terror · 3 years

Note

For the comfortober!!!! If you'd like to do some of them, might I request "Back to school/work"??? Picturing Jon, after being v sick, or recovering from an injury finally coming back to work, maybe recovered, maybe not?? And the crew just totally fussing over him ??

Here you are! Just in time for day 25.

The situation at hand is not ideal.

He’d been carrying boxes, heavy, cumbersome things that blocked his field of vision as he made his way to Document Storage. Tim had cast a disapproving eye; Jon’s not the most coordinated, he knows that. But the least he could do was carry a few boxes of statements to their proper filing place.

But he managed to, in Tim’s retelling, ‘completely eat shit’ as his leg came in contact with an errant box, causing the one he was carrying to go flying and Jon to fall unceremoniously on the ground with an audible crack.

Everything’s a bit blurry after that.

He remembers an intense pain in his ankle- he’s been here before, his bones are not the most stable structures (it’s a shame they’re tasked with holding his body together). But that didn’t make the pain any less. Surprisingly, it was Martin who took charge, showing a competence Jon had never seen applied to his research or his Latin translations. He picked him up, managing to avoid putting any pressure on his ankle and summarily put him in a cab, despite Jon’s many refutations that he was fine.

He stopped that after Martin shot him a very unimpressed look.

He paid the cab driver and Jon let him- the pain was starting to make his brain foggy and his stomach nauseous. Martin waited the full two hours it took to get him admitted, even letting him fall asleep on his shoulder in one very embarrassing instance that he hopes will never see the light of day. The result of his clumsiness- a broken ankle, a cast, and a set of crutches that he threw into the closet as soon as he got home. He had a cane, that should be fine.

Martin followed him to the door, making sure he was settled on the couch and fixing him a cup of tea as if Jon were an invalid. Sure, the painkillers he was on did not allow for much thinking, but he could manage to take care of himself. When Martin suggested staying a while, just to make sure he was fine, Jon found himself snapping a “No!” and breaking Martin out of his competent stupor. He shook his head a bit, turning red and letting out a nervous laugh. “I’ll uh, leave you to it then. Let me know if you need anything.” On his way out, he turned to him, face serious. “And don’t even think about coming in tomorrow.” He wasn’t- he’s not a complete idiot.

Okay, maybe he did briefly consider it the next morning. But the soreness had intensified, and he knew he probably wouldn’t be able to make it without breaking another bone.

Getting around was...difficult, to say the least. He spent most of the day on the couch, dry swallowing ibuprofen as the painkillers the hospital prescribed were a bit too strong, despite the ease they provided. God, it was so boring. He wished he had the foresight to bring work home. But his assistants’ texts ignored any query about work, only focusing on well wishes and asking if he ‘needed anything.’ What he needed was to do his job. If he was going to be motionless, he might as well be motionless behind a desk.

The next day, the train ride nearly kills him.

Jon manages to find a seat; people are generally sympathetic when they see a cane and a cast. He should’ve taken a cab, of course, but that seemed a little extravagant. He can manage a few steps.

Probably should’ve brought the crutches as well, but they seemed too unwieldy. When he tried them in his flat they’d put too much pressure under his arms, and he wasn’t sure how to go about adjusting them; he quickly got frustrated and threw them to the side. Patience was never one of his strong suits.

But the pain is unimaginable. By the time he gets into work, he’s huffing and puffing, on the verge of passing out. He’d taken ibuprofen again that morning, but it’s doing very little to help him out. As soon as Rosie catches sight of him, she makes sympathetic cooing noises and attempts to take his bag from him.

“Poor thing,” she says after he refuses for the third time. “Are you sure you don’t need help downstairs?”

Quite sure.

The stairs intensify the aching in his joints and he’s sure every one of his assistants hears the tell-tale thump of his cast landing awkwardly on each step. He’s met with three concerned stares, all tinged with exasperation and disappointment. He’s been eliciting those reactions a lot these days.

“Didn’t Elias approve a week of paid leave?” Sasha asks, immediately attempting to take his bag, just like Rosie. And just like with Rosie, he dodges her arms, letting out an involuntary hiss as he puts pressure on his injury. “Honestly Jon, you should’ve stayed home.”

“And where are your crutches, mister?” Tim’s leaning against the wall, looking for all the world like a disappointed parent. “I happen to know that a cane’s not sufficient when you’re in a cast like that. Not to mention uncomfortable, dragging it all around London. What were you doing, hopping down the street?”

“I had a seat on the train, thank you very much,” he says, attempting to hobble away as fast as he can to take refuge in his office. This was all very overbearing.

“You took the train-?” Martin’s incredulous voice is cut short by a slammed door.

Peace and quiet. His office has always been a nice place to suffer in private.

Not that it remains so for long.

Martin comes in not minutes later, bearing a cup of tea accompanied by a few biscuits. “You don’t seem like much of a breakfast-type,” Martin surmises correctly, “And you’ll need to eat something with the medication they’ve got you on.” Jon does not mention he’s not currently on said medication. It sits in his pocket, heavy and accusing. Instead, he just grunts, barely deigning to raise his eyes from the work in front of him. The door shuts and Jon nibbles at the food before his stomach tells him this is a bad idea.

He does eventually (and very reluctantly) call one of them in- he still wants to go through the files from two days prior, but he’s going to need a bit of help to get there. Tim doesn’t help him walk, however, instead pushing his office chair into Document Storage with surprising care, and helps him prop his leg up on a box to keep it elevated. Tim hands him the files one by one, sorting by date- it’s an easy, companionable task. Tim always was one of his favorite researchers to work with; there’s a reason he asked him to join his team. He’s wearing a jumper in a nice, deep blue shade. Jon is not immune to Tim’s charm or looks, but he’s mostly preoccupied with how warm it looks. His own button down and sweater vest are barely doing the job.

After about thirty minutes of this, his leg starts to ache- the stretch is no longer pleasant, and he attempts very gingerly to place his ankle on the ground. Needless to say, it does not work out very well. If the chair had about two more inches, his foot could dangle without putting undue pressure on his joints. Alas, the chair is already at its highest.

Tim notices his fidgeting, zeroing in on the pain in his face. “Need a break?”

Jon sighs. “I’d rather get this box done, at the very least.”

Tim looks thoughtful at this. “Hold on- give me a sec.” He leaves the room but returns rather quickly, two pillows from the break room couch in tow. “Here- lean on me for a mo’, will you?” Jon manages to get to his feet relatively painlessly, leaning most of his weight on Tim’s shoulders as he puts the pillows down as a cushion, lifting him the desired inches he needs. “Better?” Tim smirks, clearly proud of his achievement.

“Much, thank you,” he admits, just happy to continue working. The throbbing is getting worse with each passing minute. They’re eventually interrupted by Sasha, who announces that she’s gotten takeout for everyone- Indian, Jon’s favorite. Elaborate and unnecessary, but appreciated.

Ten minutes later and he’s sitting in the break room with the rest of them, picking at his curry. He knows he should eat; his mind registers the hunger, but it's hard to feel through all of the pain. Ibuprofen’s just not going to cut it. With great reluctance, he pulls the bottle of pills out of his pocket, unscrewing the cap. Martin notices.

“About time for your next dosage, I reckon?” he questions innocently. Martin doesn’t know he never took the first one, and Jon would like to keep it that way. He can’t handle any more thoughtfulness and care from the man. So he just nods, swallowing two pills and chasing them with water. If he can manage a few more bites of curry, it should be fine.

What he didn’t keep in mind is his original reaction to the medication- that strange, loopy feeling that had him leaning on Martin the entire cab ride home. About thirty minutes later, it starts to hit. And all he can think about is Tim’s jumper.

It just looked so warm. Jon wants a jumper like that. Maybe he has a jumper like that? He’ll have to check when he’s home. There’s a lot of stuff in his closet- dumb things, remnants from his college days. Probably a few of Georgie’s jumpers. Maybe Georgie’s jumpers are that warm? But none of them are that nice shade of blue. Jon wants a jumper like that, yeah. In a nice shade of blue. He’s going to ask Tim where he got it from. But he’s got to be discreet. What if Martin overhears? And then Martin gets the jumper? They can’t all wear the same jumper, that’s ridiculous. He’s already going to have to coordinate with Tim, make sure they don’t wear it on the same day. Jon’s a grown man, he can’t go around matching his employees.

He lifts the phone, dialing Tim’s extension. It only rings once before Tim’s cheerful voice answers. “What’s up, bossman? Everything alright?”

“Tim,” he whispers, just in case anyone’s listening. “Tim, I need you to come to my office...immediately.” No, he has to give a reason or he’ll be suspicious. Why would he call Tim into his office? “Reports, Tim. Research. Bring...your research. Yes. Goodbye.” That seemed natural enough.

For some reason, all three of his assistants are at the door. No, that’s not what he wants. Not what he wants at all. “I only need Tim.” He’s still whispering for some reason. “The rest of you go away.”

They don’t, pesky things they are. Tim moves closer, face both concerned and amused. “What’s going on, Jon?” He beckons him closer- he’s so blurry, it’s hard to focus. When he gets within grabbing distance he tugs at his sleeve, forcing him close to his face. “Er, boss-”

“Tim,” Jon’s eyes are wide with urgency. “Tim, I need to know where- where you got your jumper.”

Tim makes a face, somewhere between amused and confused. Jon does not understand what’s difficult about this question. It’s very straightforward. “Um, sorry? My jumper?”

“Yes!” His voice gets louder, though he doesn’t mean it to. “It’s just- it looks so warm. And it’s so soft.” His voice starts to wobble and his eyes water as he runs his thumb across the fabric. It’s a very good jumper. “Such a nice shade of blue.”

“Okay, did you take one too many of those pills? You weren’t like this earlier.” Tim’s got one arm on Jon’s chest, attempting to stop his wandering hands as his eyes search the desk. “I swear to god, if you’ve overdosed-”

“Don’t be stupid, Tim.” Why won’t he let him touch the jumper? Does Tim not want him to be warm? Rather rude. “I only took two today.”

“Wait, seriously?” It’s Martin’s voice he hears next. “Oh, Jon. You must have been in so much pain.”

“Obviously, Martin!” The snap comes as naturally as breathing- Jon’s an old hand at that, after all. “But that’s not the point-”

“Whoa there, buddy. No need to get tetchy.” Tim’s got both of his hands on his shoulders, his eyes now patient and kind. “You’re high as hell, aren’t you? Think you should probably have a rest right about now, yeah?”

Jon can’t help the whine that comes out of his throat. Rest? No, he wants-

“I swear I’ll tell you where I got the jumper. Hell, I’ll even get one for you if I can. But only if you sleep.”

Jon sighs wearily. If I must. “That sounds reasonable. Thank you, Tim.” He allows himself to be led to a couch, limping all the way. Oh, that’s quite nice. Yes, that’ll do. Tim arranges a pillow beneath his head, and Jon hopes it's not the one he sat on before. His stomach growls, and a thought occurs to him; he grabs at Tim’s arm again, forcing him down to his level.

“Jon, I told you I’d-”

“No, that’s not it. I-I threw out some biscuits earlier. Please send my apologies to Martin.”

Tim’s face is fond. “Will do, boss.”

“And perhaps you could secure me a few more for later.”

A soft snort. “I’m sure I can.”

“Tim, you are invaluable to me.”

“God I wish I had this on tape-”

A soft click sounds from somewhere in the room as if in response. Tim blinks. “Did you hear that?”

Jon doesn’t answer, already halfway towards sleep.

“Huh. Alright, then.”

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715163

#my writing #tma #the magnus archives #prompts #comfortember #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #jontim #a lil bit but its there #hurt/comfort #ft. a very loopy jon #plz excuse the self-indulgence of this fic #kaiserkorresponds

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thebibliomancer · 3 years

Text

Essential Avengers: Avengers #248: “To Save the ETERNALS!”

October, 1984

Scarlet Witch: “It’s raining ETERNALS!”

Hallelujah?

This is a pretty striking cover. The white background is what sells it. Having an actual background would busify the cover too much.

So last times on Avengers: Bored after giving the chairman role to Vision, Wasp takes Starfox’s invitation to crash a party hosted by Sersi, a truant Eternal. Some other Eternals come to fetch Sersi for a Big, Important Eternal Thing and Wasp and Starfox end up getting dragged along when they try to stop the kidnapping.

After Sersi and Ikaris recap the Eternals’ ENTIRE HISTORY, Starfox realizes hey he’s an Eternal too! So he gets invited to the big, important Eternal Thing. Which is turning into a giant flying brain. As ya do.

But jerk fiend and eventual Great Lakes Avengers punchline Maelstrom takes advantage of all the Eternals being a giant brain and attacks, knocking out spectating Avengers Wasp and Captain Monica Marvel.

So thats a lot.

Vision and Scarlet Witch arrive in Greece after seeing Maelstrom on the video phone.

While Vision flies off in a big hurry, Scarlet Witch goes back into the Quinjet for some good exposition.

She continues to be worried about how Vision has been acting lately. Because after seeing Maelstrom, Vision barely said a word during the flight to Greece and kept pushing the engines until Wanda was afraid they’d blow up. But since he just took off and she can’t fly, she calls up what files the Avengers have on Maelstrom.

Which is Benn Grimm, the Thing, reporting on Marvel Two-in-One #72, where he teamed up with Black Bolt to fight Maelstrom who claimed to be the son of a renegade Inhuman. In the end, the Thing tossed a tube of anti-terrigen gas in his face and then Maelstrom appeared to die in an underwater cave-in.

Vision returns from his reconnaissance and does Wanda a startle so she finally unloads on him for how he’s been acting.

Scarlet Witch: “You don’t seem to be thinking at all these days! We haven’t had a real conversation since you became Avengers chairman! Half of our trip to Washington was taken up by a private meeting you had with the president! Afterwards, you didn’t even have the decency to tell me what you talked about! I had to hear from a reported that you’d discussed making the Avengers chairmanship a cabinet level post! We used to be so open with one another! What is happening to us? What is the matter? Is it me?”

Vision says ‘its not you, its me’ although in the context of him being at fault and not breaking up with her.

But he promises to do better and that she’s important to him.

Which would be heart-warming and romantic if he wasn’t making this face over her shoulder.

Why.

Anyway, with uh whatever that is handled, Vision reports what he found on his scouting nyoom.

He found the Eternal city on the side of Mount Olympus because of course its there.

Although. Wait. Where do the Olympians live? Are they neighbors? Do the Olympians live in another dimension or something? I vaguely remember something like that.

And Vision found Maelstrom who’s wearing a silly techno-harness connected to a big machine and has Captain Marvel and Wasp chained up at his feet.

You have problems, Maelstrom.

Not least of which is that his big scheme is to absorb the giant brain to make himself more powerful.

He blabs his plan to the Wasp who woke up when she sensed the opportunity to sass.

Wasp: “You seem awfully sure of yourself, Maelstrom.”

Maelstrom: “Ah, the Wasp! Back among the conscious, I see! Yes, I am quite confident... Supremely confident, you might say.”

Wasp: “But not so confident that you felt you could keep us here untied!”

Maelstrom: “If you are trying to shame me, it will not work. I am quite without shame!”

Curses, he’s immune to petty ego games.

Wasp also assumes he’s an Eternal which he’s quick to correct. No, see, his mom was a Deviant. And I guess his dad was an Inhuman, based on the Thing’s report on him. But its not like he wants revenge for all the Deviants being compressed into a giant cube.

After all, the Deviants killed his mom and raised Maelstrom in their slave pits.

In fact, after Maelstrom absorbs the giant brain, his next plan is to release the Deviants from the giant Deviant cube one by one and then do harm to them.

But, yeah, no. He does look like an Eternal. Easy mistake to make. The Eternals have been making that mistake as Maelstrom has just been hanging around for days with all the Eternals assuming he’s just some Eternal.

He’s actually maybe a little bit regretful that he has to kill them all to absorb the giant brain since the Eternals have actually been nice to him?

Maelstrom: “But power belongs to those who are willing to seize it!”

Interesting guy, Maelstrom.

He starts absorbing the Uni-Mind and totally spaces out doing that. But unfortunately, Wasp is in no position to capitalize on it because he put some leech manacles on her which are preventing her from shrinking. And Captain Marvel is completely out cold.

But Vision sneaks up intangible through the ground as he do like to do and intangibles his fingers into Maelstrom’s harness, shorting it out.

The energy discharge knocks Vision on his ass unconscious but Maelstrom just has to take a knee.

He yells up at an ominous figure standing up on a tower for not telling him that Vision was sneakign up on him. Maelstrom obviously thinks that this Deathurge is his minion but Deathurge has differing opinions.

Deathurge: For so long have I been with Maelstrom, yet still he does not understand! Still he thinks of me as his lackey! When will he learn... it is a darker power I truly serve!

Kinda wonder why he’s here. He doesn’t seem to be helping Maelstrom’s great brain heist and mostly just seems to... stand on a tower and look ominous.

But while Maelstrom was distracted yelling at a guy, the Uni-Mind breaks free of Maelstrom’s siphon and then explodes into a bunch of Eternals again.

Because it would be very improbable if that happened.

Your plan scheme just got Wanda’d, Maelstrom.

Huh. When I saw the cover, I wouldn’t have guessed that Wanda is the reason why its raining Eternals, hallelujah.

Goes to shows.

But since it was very improbable indeed that the Uni-Mind would explode into peoples, Wanda is wiped out.

Captain Marvel starts waking up and Wasp orders her to bust the chains, don’t even think about just go go go.

And Monica Marvel CHOOOMs the leech manacles.

It’s probably a testament to her power that she can bust right through the power dampening handcuffs but Maelstrom immediately hits her with some pink with kirby krackle which apparently is an energy field for sapping strength and down goes Captain Marvel again.

>=|

Wasp dodges the pink energy and gets out of the way so Vision can shoot his forehead laser at Maelstrom.

I sometimes forget he has that thing.

Vision: “Yes, Maelstrom, I have found your weakness! you are vulnerable to energy that is not purely kinetic! That is why you required the power siphon to absorb the psionic energy of the Uni-Mind!”

Maelstrom insists that he’ll still kick Vision’s ass except we’ll never know if he was talking out his ass or not.

Starfox wakes up from being a giant brain and decides to go punch the bad guy.

Except except except.

Punches is kinetic energy. Fool that he is, Starfox just recharged Maelstrom.

Starfox: “I am Eros, called the Starfox... son of Mentor! The blood of the Eternals flows in my veins... and I am an Avenger! Thus I have the greatest stake in seeing you fall!”

Maelstrom: “No doubt! But you’ll not accomplish it this way!”

And then suddenly giant Maelstrom just picks up Starfox and hurls him at Vision who is forced to super-dense catch Starfox instead of intangible out of the way and let the idiot hit a wall head first.

Hm. Guy absorbs kinetic energy and gets beefier? So he’s like a less stylish Sebastian Shaw?

That’s not a flattering comparison for you, Maelstrom.

Makarri, Thena, and Ikaris of the Eternals wake up and also try to jump on and pummel Maelstrom.

... God, its like they weren’t even paying attention.

Good thing they’re immortal because they have no survival instinct among them.

Maelstrom throws them off and then whips out the pink bio-kinetic energy again, using it to crowd control the Eternals.

Then he announces that yeah, sure, the brain thing was foiled. But he absorbed enough information while he was draining the Uni-Mind that he has an even cooler plan for even greater power now.

So his new plan is to just leave. And go do something else.

‘Walk away with no further conflict you say? Nuts to that!’ - Scarlet Witch, presumably.

In fairness. This isn’t really a no harm, no foul situation.

I wouldn’t give Maelstrom over to the Eternals to add to the Deviant cube but he’s just going to do more asshole things if he walks away.

Starfox wants to go over and start punching Maelstrom again because. I DUNNO! The man is supposed to be smarter than this!

Vision stops him and tells him that instead he’ll need to use his pleasure power on Vision’s mark.

Starfox is startled that Vision knows about his secret weirdo power but this isn’t the time for a conversation.

Instead its time for microwaves.

Vision signals Captain Marvel to do her thing and she flies at Maelstrom, turning into infrared and microwave radiation, toasting Maelstrom up.

Then Wasp pew pews with her pew pew, while staying ten feet away so he can’t absorb any kinetic energy. That’s apparently why her stings sucked when she tried shooting him before. She got too close.

Well, her stings are bio-electrical so him absorbing her bio-kinetic energy would probably weaken them? Probably?

Maelstrom actually panics a little because the Avengers aren’t being dumb. They’re pelting him with energy attacks from a distance, wearing him down and not giving him a chance to build up his energy stores again.

I’m proud of you, guys. I knew you could fight smart if you put your minds to it.

Then with Maelstrom weakened, Starfox tries to use his PLEASURE BEAMS and tells him that actually we’re all friends here, won’t you be our friend?

Starfox: “The others will tell you I’m not one to hold a grudge! Besides, you really don’t want to hurt anyone! You’ll be much happier giving yourself up!”

Maelstrom: “Giving... up? Y-yes, that does sound nice. I... No!! What are you doing to me?!?”

So since Maelstrom succeeds his will save against the persuasion check, or something, Scarlet Witch just casts a spell of ‘on your knees, asshole’ and makes Maelstrom fall to his knees.

Realizing that he might actually be defeated, in the city of his mother’s enemies no less!, Maelstrom calls out for Deathurge to attend him.

Deathurge: “At last, the call I have longed for!”

Hmmmm. Maybe Maelstrom should have been more specific.

I admit that its very possible that this is exactly what Maelstrom wanted Deathurge hanging around for. But having a guy standing by to kill you so you don’t have to tally an L sure is an interesting way of going about things.

Also, the narration says spear but Deathurge’s weapon is clearly a very anime scythe. A dude in Bleach had two of this exact weapon.

Captain Marvel, as the nyoomiest of the Avengers, flies at Deathurge as the “spear” returns to his hand. He tries to hit her with the “spear” but it goes right through her and then she goes right through him when she tries to tackle him.

Since they can both be intangible, Deathurge declares this a stalemate and drops down into the ground. Captain Marvel tries to follow as x-rays but loses the ominous weirdo.

So that was a thing that happened.

Maelstrom sure folded like nothing once people who knew how his powers work actually started fighting back.

And I can’t even ding him for explaining his powers because he didn’t. Vision just did his research.

Anyway, even though the Uni-Mind ritual was interrupted, the Eternals still learned what they should be doing. Since the Eternals have grown stagnant on Earth, THEY’RE GOING TO SPAAAAACE!

Most of them anyway.

Ikaris, Sersi, Thena, Valkin... Lets just say the main Eternals are going to stay on Earth.

The Eternals chosen to go out into space form a Uni-Mind again, grabs the Deviant cube, hurls it out of the solar system, and then takes off into space.

“So does the Uni-Mind, in all its wisdom, protect its native world from the Deviant menace.”

Eeeesh.

I thought squeezing them all into a cube was bad enough, now you’re sending them into space forever? You couldn’t find a planet where they can’t hurt anyone and just dunk them there?

Back down on Earth, the Avengers and Eternals watch a giant brain fly into space.

Wasp: “To think, this all started with Starfox and me crashing Sersi’s party! I certainly never expected to be in Greece at day’s end, watching the Eternals leave Earth!”

Really makes you think. That its a good thing that most Avengers’ day job is being an Avenger.

Captain Marvel asks Starfox if he’s sorry that he didn’t go with the giant brain and he says participating in one Uni-Mind thing was an incredible experience that he wouldn’t have missed but he’s a free spirit and there’s a bunch of stuff he still wants to do on Earth.

Which Sersi certainly agrees with.

The Avengers offer her a lift back home and she has perhaps the greatest of attitudes about everything that went down.

Sersi: “I hope my friends in the city have kept the party going! If they haven’t... well, we’ll just have to start one of our own!”

That’s the spirit!

But meanwhile, halfway around the world in a secret underground lair, Deathurge pops out of the floor.

Villains are villainous and all but you can’t beat the class of “secret underground lair.” Step up, heroes.

Deathurge struts over to some tubes and goes Everything Has Transpired According to Plan.

Because inside one of the tubes (or maybe all of the tubes??) is a fresh new Maelstrom body!

Deathurge: If all goes as you have planned, you shall soon awaken within this newly prepared body, ready to live again. And, as ever, I will stand by... ready to attend... Until all your lives have been lived!

Well!

No wonder Maelstrom has a dude standing by to pop him. He’s got extra lives!

Anyway, that was the unexpected Eternals three-parter nobody called for. But Avengers is the place to go to tie up loose ends from other books and concepts.

Avengers’ll accommodate you, they have room in their hearts and publishing schedule.

Follow @essential-avengers because there’s more Maelstrom coming! Wait, is that anything people want? There’s also Hercules! I know people like Hercules! He gives the best hugs! Also like and reblog if you like to reblog.

#avengers #Maelstrom #Deathurge #Eternals #Starfox #the Vision #Scarlet Witch #captain marvel #Monica Rambeau #the Wasp #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #just another one of those days for the avengers #the eternals have a really galaxy brain idea

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sweetescapeartist · 3 years

Text

MY DBS MANGA CHAPTER 72 REVIEW... 😒

Hey there... Here comes the review.

Imma start like this and use language some ppl may find offensive. Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah are retarded. Now that that's out of the way, time to dissect this "Dragon Ball Super coloring book."

Goku & Vegeta land on the planet & its peaceful. How are they not immediately suspicious? They see that the planet isn't in danger & no death. Its obvious they need to ask a question to figure out what lies they've been told.

I was gonna say its dumb for Granolah to be able to supress his ki because it seems only Earthling have that kind of spiritual understanding. But Namekians have that spiritual understanding too so maybe Monaito taught Granolah how to suppress his ki.

I lost interest in the Heeters' past. You can only tease me so long until I stop caring. At least mention something like Freeza almost killed Gas on planet Cereal so now that's why Gas keeps trying to get stronger. There's so little info about "important" stuff that's supposed to be important. Give readers a tease, hint, a different hint, some valuable info, then another hint, then a reaveal (or something similar!) Instead its tease, hint, tease, tease, hint, tease...

In all honesty, the chapter didn't even need that page with Gas & Elec. When Maki said Gas & Elec are coming, that was all we needed to know. Then we anticipate their arrival in the next chapter. Showing them is a waste of time & they add no real purpose to the chapter. That was just a waste of ink.

Also I'm bored of Gas now. He only looks interesting but does nothing. 👎

Granolah shoots at Goku & Vegeta. Base Goku closes his eyes to use UI (UI Omen?) while Vegeta goes SS. Base Goku dodges easier than Vegeta. Goku is leagues beyond Vegeta.

A better way to have Goku & Vegeta encounter Granolah would be for him to snipe at them right when they get off the ship. Granolah wanted to kill them so bad so why wait for them?

Somehow they go towards Granolah but he's too fast for them & they lose him. They can't sense him firing ki for some reason. Idk why Goku didn't use Instant Transmission when Granolah shot ki at them?

I don't get why Goku closes his eyes either. Its as if Goku can't use UI now unless his eyes are closed but that wasn't the case before. Eyes were opend when using UI Omen & Mastered UI. Toyo could have conveyed that better but instead he's making Goku close his eyes like how Roshi covered his eyes when fighting those prisoner women because their beauty distracted him. Is Goku distracted by Granolah's beauty or something?

Wait a sec... I gotta backtrack real quick. Goku used the Ultra Instinct technique in his base & didn't go into Ultra Instinct Omen? But thats him using it in base right? Oh boy... This is about to get dumb...

Ultra Idiot Goku & Super Stupid Vegeta are surprised that the guy having the title of "strongest in the universe" is capable of moving faster than them when they aren't at full power. Such genius writing.

Goku gets shot in the neck... & it knocks him out... Ok. But later Granolah comments on how Goku's body moves on it's own before Goku can even process an attacks. Not to mention Goku & Whis have said the same thing. Goku should be untouchable at this point, but for some reason he is not.

So, Vegeta takes a senzu bean from his "training bra" and gives it to Goku. For some reason they decided to only take 2 senzu when knowing they would fight a guy possibly stronger than them. Stupid monkeys.🐒 (I'm starting to sound like Freeza now)

How did unconscious Goku eat a senzu? Yaoi fans would had loved it if Vegeta chewed the senzu up for Goku and fed it to him. Sorry, it just reminded me of Trunks spitting senzu mush into Mai's mouth since she was unconscious.

Then we have this dialogue from "sensei" Vegeta, The Ultra Instinct Expert...

"You rely on Ultra Instinct too much! If you haven't perfected it yet, then dodge using your mind!" - Vegeta

"Yeah, you're right..." - Goku

"WTF Toyotaro!" - DB Meta

... I'm unsure who is the stupid one in this situation. Is it Goku or Vegeta? It could be Vegeta because UI is the ultimate technique that allows you to move without thinking. But Vegeta says that because Goku hasn't perfected Ultra Inst-...

...

Sorry, I had to restart my brain...

Didn't... didn't Goku master Ultra Instinct? Silver hair? Silver eyes? MASTERED/PERFECTED ULTRA INSTINCT? Before that, Goku perfected Ultra Instinct Omen & could go in it at will... So, Goku is listening to Vegeta tell him he hasn't mastered UI? But both know that Goku did master UI? What does Vegeta know? Vegeta can't even use UI.

I almost stopped reading the rest of the colouring book when I got to that dialogue.

Also, Granolah wants to kill Saiyans, so why is he holding back and not hitting them with deadly attacks. He only needs one alive anyways. He said so himself.

At least there was a good pose Goku was in. The art looked nice there.

Now here's another place I almost quit reading. Granolah apparently has all the abilities of Goku & Vegeta. Hack writing. Sounds like a Moro, 7-3, & Cell copy cat. Toyo just cant leave the Cell saga alone.

Granolah is bumping his gums & rattling his tongue (old slang for "talking a lot") but when Vegeta asks if Granolah holds a grudge against Saiyans, Granolah suddenly says that's enough talking. He responded to them 3 times & spoke like 5 sentences to them. If you're gonna chat then chat. If you hate Saiyans then don't say anything to them & try to kill them. Dummy.

Granolah uses Hakai. But aparently he's not using Hakai or Instant Transmission. Its just "similar." Sure. Confirms that he has been using something similar to UI in previous chapters too.

Granolah says they're stronger than expected because they escaped into the air. Escape doesn't equal strenght. Mai escaped Goku Black, doesn't mean she's extremely strong.

But seriously, Vegeta saying he's gonna prove his training is better than Goku is stupid. He wants to prove he is better than Goku yet he tells Goku to fight first (that's beta). It's as if he isn't confident & wants Goku to wear Granolah out first, so he can come in and look impressive. Kinda like in RoF after Freeza was tired from fighting Goku & Vegeta wasn't tired at all & he easily beat Freeza up. Looked cool, but actually wasn't too impressive.

Granolah saying that he's gonna shoot them if they don't fight him is ridiculous. Why is he showing mercy to the tribe that didn't show his ppl mercy? Why give chances to the ppl you wanted revenge on for years? Realistically he would just start blasting at them.

Unecessary dialogue from Vegeta talking to himself about how he needs to learn who Granolah is. Show don't tell Toyo.

Why is Granolah waiting for the Oozaru form? Maybe he wants to kill them in that form? What about revenge? Just kill them.

Goku screamed to power up from SS to SSG. That's possibly dumb, but I gotta let at least 1 thing slide this chapter.

Why did Granolah let them power up? So unlike what we've been shown what Granolah is like. Why would he want to give "murderers" of his entire race a fair chance to fight him?

Next, Goku doesn't try to explain he isn't savage like other Saiyans when Granolah accuses his kind of being so. Instead Goku just agrees & says "Oh... Yeah." I guess he really just wants to fight. I can't tell if this is OOC or just magnifying a Saiyan flaw of Goku just to push the story along. Idk. I'm losing brain cells reading this chapter.

Granolah's fighting stance is cool. Hey, look. I said a nice thing. (But why is he doing close combat when being a sniper us his specialty?)

So, Goku uses UI in SSG form... Bruh, is Ultra Instinct a technique, a state of mind, or a transformation? I'll tell you what it is. ULTRA INSTINCT IS A PLOT DEVICE! It does whatever Toyotaro decides at the moment. So freaking inconsistent... 😓😒

Ultra Instinct becomes more accurate when in conjunction with a SS form?! How tho? I thought it was just a goldy technique that needed a clear mind and control or whatever. Or is UI a transformation like Toyo stated many times in previous chapters, while also calling UI a technique? How can mixing a godly "technique" with a SS form enhance it better than Goku simply using UI Omen? It doesnt! Vegeta, you can just shut up! Every time you talk about UI, you've been wrong! It should be illegal impersonating an UI Expert.

Goku is using the Ultra Instinct technique in base form against Granolah.

UI Omen is Goku using the Ultra Instinct technique in base form.

Goku uses Ultra Instinct technique in the Super Saiyan God transformation.

Mastered UI is Goku mastering the technique or maybe using the technique as a transformation? (Toyo is confusing.)

So why isn't Goku going into UI Omen when using UI in base? Why does Vegeta say "Ultra Instinct... becomes more accurate when used in conjunction with a Super Saiyan form"? Does that mean Mastered UI is a Saiyan form in conjunction with the Ultra Instinct technique? So, there's an unknown silver haired Saiyan transformation that Goku was utilizing in conjunction with Ultra Instinct? I guess this confirms that "Super Saiyan Blanco" is real y'all.

I suppose that if UI in base isn't the same as UI Omen, then by that logic, there is also an unknown "Super Saiyan Noir" form we haven't seen yet.

I'm done with Ultra Instinct in the manga. Toytaro doesn't know if UI is a technique or a transformation. I could explain it better than him, but I'm not tye one writing official material. Why should I make sense of his bad writing when he will change things later? HE should explain it clearly to US. He is extremely inconsistent with his explanations and will change them when he feels like it.

I dont care what Geekdom101 says about UI being both technique & transformation, because Ultra Instinct IS NOT a transformation nor a technique anymore. ULTRA INSTINCT IS JUST A PLOT DEVICE. 😑

[You can skip this little section. I'm talking about inconsistencies from the Moro arc]

I remember when I talked about how Moro's life draining powers were retconned multiple times.

Moro can absorb life energy from a planet while he is in outer space, then he is nerfed to only being able to take life energy by directly touching you, later Vegeta says they need to get off the ground because now Moro (who is stronger and fused with the planet) can only steal your life enrgy while making contact with you. He could absorb life energy from entire planets from space, but has to make contact with somebody once he got stronger?

Let's not forget it's said Moro drains life energy, but can't drain 17 & 18 because they say they don't have life energy. I guess that means Krillin had a daughter with a dead woman? No. Multiple times, 17 & 18 contributed to the Genki Dama (a collection of life energy). Goku gathers energy from trees, animals, ppl, everything living. This means 17 & 18 do have life energy because they are living beings. But the energy they fight with is unlimited artificial energy.

So if 17 & 18 can give life energy to Goku for a Genki Dama, then Moro should be able to take their life energy just like anyone else. What he can't take is their energy they use for battle because itsunlimited & artificial. Toyotaro does not understand this important detail nor does he understand many other details about these iconic character. So why is the the writer if he is getting so much wrong? Why is he not soley the artist?

Goku uses UI in SSG form to dodge a barrage of attacks from Granolah that are aimed at the planet. They must be weak attacks because the explosions are tiny. Is Granolah really trying to kill them?

Goku using UI in SSG but somehow gets caught off gaurd. Did UI just get nerfed so that Vegeta can look like he is on the same level as Goku in a later chapter? I think it did...

Granolah took Goku down a second time... Wow Goku, you kinda suck. In DBS CH 65 on page 11, after Moro broke his arm on UI Goku's chest, Whis said "When Ultra Instinct is honed to this extent, the body will automatically grow sturdier as necessary." Why is Goku holding back against the strongest in the universe? Oh yeah, that's right... UI is getting nerfed.

Vegeta, what do you mean "How is he learning Kakarot's weaknesses so quickly?" Everybody has similar vital spots in DB. Thats not learning, thats just knowing. Are you just a dummy, Vegeta? Do you not know where vital spots are?

Granolah can tell Goku's body is moving before his brain tells him to react. Granolah the UI "expert" can see all with his eye. You know who else can see with their eye? Tien. Speaking of Tien, I wanna go back to Earth now. What's Piccolo doing? I bet everyone on Earth is chilling or at work. Is it bad I'd rather watch Gohan at a conference than watch Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah be dummies? I'd rather watch Chi-Chi cooking with vegetables instead of watching vegetable puns fight a cereal pun. I'm sorry, the dialogue is just so bad...

How does Granolah's right eye being able to observe blood flow & muscle movements let you know where to strike? Dude, vital spots are where your organs are, & pressure points, & your head area, & you arteries, & so on. Ya ain't gotta observe blood flow to know that. Granolah just making stuff up now to sound cool. News flash, you failed. If he was sniping and able to track them based on blood flow and muscle movement, then that would had been smarter writing.

Granolah: "This right eye of mine is the sharpest in all the universe. It sees all."

Your eye sees all Granolah? Can you see past the Heeters feeding you bullcrap too?

Yo, where did Granolah's barely existing personality go? He wss once driven by revenge, and now the opportunity for revenge is right here in front of him & he's acting like he doesn't want it. If revenge is his only noticeable personality trait, what happens when you take it away? You get bland and dry Granolah.

So then Veget- hold on! Thats it! Granolah's name pun is granola because he is meant to be a bland character! I get it now! So all his moves must be cereal puns!

I never realized how genius this character is!

Detective Vegeta: "A tribe driven to extinction, known for their evolved right eyes... This is starting to sound familiar..." 🕵

Tien?! Oh wait... he said right, not 3rd eye. Jiren?! Oh wait, that's both his eyes... Jaco!? That's both eyes too... I give up.

Granolah's eye can tell that Goku is not using his full power, yet he can't tell he is being fooled by the Heeters. I think he needs new glasses or at least clean the revenge smear off of his monocle.

Granolah casually chats with a Saiyan who is one of the ppl he wants to kill. He would be better if he barely talked and just acted. Granolah should be like Iron Man in "Captain America: Civil War." Not trying to talk, just trying to kill because he is angry and wants revenge.

Goku: "Granolah, we don't work for Freeza & the two of us didn't attack your planet."

Granolah: "I dont care... Your people killed my family."

Boom! Gimme an award!

Back to the chapter 72 colouring book...

Granolah: "Hurry and get on with it. I have no duty to wait for your sake."

Yet you've been waiting all this time for them to arrive, fight them, chat with them, & even waiting for him to transform right now. You got time. You got 3 yrs to waste. You can chat for 10 minutes or so.

Granolah tells Goku that he doesn't have time to wait, then says "It's no skin off my nose to kill you where you stand." Then he waits for Goku to transform... Just kill Goku and be done with it already. Its not like Vegeta can win if Goku can't.

Granolah: "I dont have time for talk."

Goku: "Ok lets fight!"

Granolah: "Ok but, let me tell you about what my eye can do. I'm really proud of it. Mind if I talk a bit? So I sacrificed my life to defeat Freeza, the guy you're working for."

Goku: "What? You don't like Freeza? You're not a bad guy?"

Granolah: "Shut up Saiyan! You'll pay! Fight me!"

Granolah doesn't want to talk about Freeza all of the sudden when Goku implies they both have been tricked. Granolah becomes stupid just so the fight continues. There's a better way to keep them fighting. SHUT UP, GRANOLAH! If he talked less then convoluted stuff like this wouldn't happen.

Granolah yells "Take this!" He powers up instead of doing an attack... Why yell "take this" then power up if you aren't gonna attack right away? You even knocked Goku out of SSG, so now is the perfect time to finish him.

Blah blah blah, Goku goes SSB and they fight, blah blah blah.

Hey look! In my last review I said something about the planet should shake or be in danger from the battle. Looks like Toyo made the planet shake from the battle. Good job. I like this detail. Will it matter later on? Probably not.

Also, ya notice how god ki and god transformations are limited in this chapter? It seem they got too powerful for there to be any stakes. So we see Vegeta in base & SS. Then we see Goku in base, SS, SSG, base, & SSB so that false tension can build. Its smart but the dialogue doesn't compliment this smart tactic.

Aparently Vegeta doesn't care about the fight. Detective mode activate! (🕵) Vegeta standing in that Oozaru footprint looks like he's in Jurassic Park lol. But why did Detective Vegeta have to touch the footprint? He could had just looked at everything when he was high up and had a bird's eye view. Did Detective Vegeta taste the soil & gain knowledge by tasting the past?

Detective Vegeta: "I think I know who he is."

The Heeters said his name is Granolah, dummy. Shouldn't you say "I think I know what happened here." or something like that? Gimmie your detective hat, your trench coat, your bubble pipe, & you magnifying glass! You give detectives a bad name! I'll give this to somebody more deserving, like Jaco, Videl, Krillin, or Hit.

Did ya notice that Vegeta didn't get hit once but Goku who is using UI gets hit multiple times? Vegeta tells Goku to think instead of use UI? Oh yeah, this chapter was to pander to Vegeta fans. Toyo is poorly trying to convey he is equal or above Goku somehow. Like Vegeta mastered his training but Goku hasn't despite having mastered UI as a transformation thingy.

In conclusion, I was right. Freeza still hasn't been seen yet. Show a pic of him in somebody's thought bubble at the very least. This is all happening because if his influence y'all. Still no visual of Freeza yet... Whateva.

This chapter was wack. Too much unintelligent & unreasonable & unrealistic & unnecessary dialogue, plot went nowhere, Goku is being handicapped so the fight can continue, everyone are stupid idiots, Vegeta is being built up to lose his battle or get lucky & win. No image of Freeza still... This was just a very, very boring chapter.

I expect the next chapter to be boring too. Probably won't see Freeza either.

Prediction

Goku got knocked down twice by Granolah, Vegeta decided to fight second, Granolah said he doesn't need to keep Goku alive, & Vegeta told Goku he should stop relying on UI... Sounds like UI is getting nerfed & Goku is gonna need to be saved by Vegeta so that Vegeta can show off his Hakai training in comparison to UI.

#dbs manga #dbs #review #wtf toyotaro

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giurochedadomani · 3 years

Text

Tell me your name, is it sweet? He said, my boy, it's Dagger

“I still don’t know why the fuck you think it’s such a bad idea”.

It’ll be easy and fast and welcomingly bloodless, for a change. Primo’s fairly sure about it. He’ll just have to show himself to be very thankful by the dinner’s invitation, very impressed, make signore Mazza feel special, get him talking. While the mayor’s son has taken quite a liking to him as of late, it’s fairly clear that he’s much more enamoured with the sound of his own voice. Primo can convince him to give them the construction contract before the desserts arrive.

Primo’s used to weaponize his beauty. Leonardo doesn’t like it at all. Awkward conversations ensue.

Continue reading on AO3 or under the cut.

“So, you’re going. Tomorrow, I mean”.

It takes a moment for Primo to tear his eyes away from the planes of Leonardo’s back, and more concretely from the reddish mark he’s very pleased to have left on his neck. It takes another moment for him to register what the other’s exactly talking about. He tips his head back when he does it, lets the smoke out in a sigh.

“I still don’t know why the fuck you think it’s such a bad idea”.

He has used the same strategy in the past more times than he cares to count.

Leonardo pulls his shirt over, and Primo ignores how disappointed it makes him feel seeing him getting dressed. He pulls himself up a little, lights out the cigarette against the ashtray of his nightstand. He centers his frustration on the non committal sound with which Leonardo answers him.

“You don’t have to coddle me”, he insists. “If I’m being an idiot, I want to know that I’m being an idiot”. At the lack of an answer, he calls him out: “Leonardo”.

“...It’s a clever idea”, Leonardo concedes, despite himself. It makes Primo relax a little, because he knows his ideas are clever, but it’s always. Very nice to hear Leonardo saying so. Besides, it means that Leonardo’s on board with the plan. He’s pretty sure he can do about anything as long as he has him at his side. He can work with this. He’s just got to figure out what the other’s reserves are. “I just”, Leonardo continues. It’s baffling to Primo that he’s being so hesitant with him of all people, especially when not even half an hour has passed since he has made him come in quite a spectacular manner with those same hands he’s fumbling with his buttons with. “I think you give the guy too much credit. He might have no actual saying in who takes the contract”.

“He’s daddy’s boy through and through”, Primo counters, slowly. “He’s not the one signing the contract, that’s true, but if someone can put a nice word on us so the mayor does it, it’s him”, they’ve talked about it, extensively, had decided to approach Mattia Mazza because of that on the first place, in fact: “You know it”.

Leonardo clearly bites his tongue. It’s still not enough to prevent his… anger? What? From showing when he points out: “You’re assuming that his father values his opinion, that he’s capable of swaying him of all people, and that he’s, I don’t know, going to remember to do so”.

“You of all people should know that I can make myself pretty unforgettable”, Primo interrupts, very calm on purpose, his usual arrogant grin on his face. He knows that it’s fair, that Leonardo has a point, that he’s pretty much not the most charming person in any given room, and that he more often than not comes off as way too intense if not downright rude. He’s not about to admit it, though.

It seems to be exactly the wrong thing to say because Leonardo doesn’t rise up to the bait. His shoulders slump and he looks… sad, of all things, for some strange reason.

“A lot of things can happen before we sign the contract”.

What the fuck does he mean by that.

Primo forces himself to set his wounded pride aside, tone down the haughty smile. He wasn’t aiming for this. He doesn’t want Leonardo to leave his house sad after the nice, very pleasant, very satisfying evening they have had. He pulls his legs closer, gesturing the other so he sits down and he gets a better look at his face.

“Look, we’re not getting him on board with the whole plan. We’re just using him as means to an end. You don’t have to like the guy”, he gives a little shrug. “I don’t”.

Leonardo’s head snaps back to him and— it’s that it? Fucking really?

“You think that I actually like him”, Primo says. Leonardo opens his mouth, closes it, frowns, looks away.

Primo doesn’t like Mattia. He thinks he’s very snobbish, in a terribly boring way. But what if he did like him. Would that cloud his judgement, is that what Leonardo is insinuating?

“He’s, ah, younger”, Leonardo says, very quietly, after a beat.

The implication falls onto Primo like an overflowing cup. Tap, tap, tap and then he sees it clearly. He supposes it does boil down to it. To the fact that Mattia is younger than Leonardo, that he’s also taller, and leaner, and certainly better built, under that stupid, ugly suit two sizes big. That under that ridiculous snobbery he believes himself to be so modern and fashionable. It’s not Primo liking him what bothers Leonardo so much, it’s— “You think that I like him better than you”.

He snorts, waiting for a punchline that turns very sour when it doesn’t arrive. He reframes the conversations they have had together with the guy, Leonardo’s silences, his clipped tone, his very business like answers. He tries to think back to which moment was the one that made Leonardo believe that he’d change him. How long has he been turning a blind eye on this?

“So, yeah. I just. I wanted to know if you’ll go”, Leonardo tries to circle back.

Primo doesn’t let him.

“What, exactly, did you want to know? Whether or not I’m going to end up fucking him after the dinner?”

Leonardo recoils as if slapped, and Primo would feel remorse, he would, but it pisses him off to no end that they are talking in circles, given that this is clearly what the other wants to know.

“It’s your business”, Leonardo grits out after a moment, in the very same snippy tone he had used in their conversations together with signore Mazza. It stings. He counts Leonardo in, in whatever the hell he decides to do, every single time. It’s how they work, it’s how all of this works. Does he really think that he’d just go out, spend the night in someone else’s house, without discussing it beforehand with him? Besides, why in hell would he decide to go out with anyone else, especially that idiot of signore Mazza?

He likes Leonardo. He really likes him.

“So, you’re telling me that you wouldn’t mind”.

“I’m not saying anything”, Leonardo snaps back. And then he catches himself. And then he says something that makes Primo’s stomach twist unpleasantly: “I know that I have no right”.

Primo is brutally reminded of every single instance that he has seen Leonardo and Regina being intimate with each other through the years, the lingering looks in the middle of rooms, the brief kisses out in the open and feels the familiar, well worn twinge in his chest he hasn’t learned to ignore yet. He’s allowed to be close, now. He’s very welcomed. Leonardo doesn’t withhold his touches, not with Regina or with him. This is not a competition. Leonardo has made it clear to him, he has said so openly and often and—

He sighs.

“I—”, he grunts something that’s halfway to a curse. “I like you”. Not bad, it doesn’t sit perfectly once it’s out of his mouth, doesn’t quite finish describing what he means by that, but it seems to make Leonardo relax a little, the first time he has done so since the start of the conversation. He’ll take it. “I like the good, and whatever shit you’ve got in your head that ought to be the bad. I’m not going to—”, he hates himself, his life in its entirety, but most of all how painfully hard is to find words for this, “I won’t fuck Mattia. I don’t like the guy, don’t want him that way, and anyway I’m not going to start. Suddenly going out with. Guys. Because it’s not part of the deal, so”, whatever his line of thought was continuing fades in obscurity, given how Leonardo is looking at him. He makes a florid gesture with his hand, hopes that it conveys enough information.

“The deal”, Leonardo repeats, slowly. Maybe an earthquake could swallow the whole building before Leonardo actually makes him detail what he means by that. Maybe lighting could set his apartment on fire. “And you’re happy with it? The deal?”

Primo lets out a breath that he didn’t realize that he was holding when Leonardo doesn’t pick at his words. He observes him, the little smile with which he has asked the question, his dumb salt and pepper curls, still the very mess he has made out of them during sex, how very ridiculous he looks on his bed, with his shirt half undone. He thinks to hell with the rest, you’re mine and nods, slowly.

The tension bleeds away. Leonardo smiles wider.

“It’s late”, Primo says, suddenly, because he cannot quite believe that he actually managed to get the whole speech out, but the possibility that Leonardo might still decide to ask some more about it makes him want to fling himself out of a window. He says it before having a clear goal in his mind, his brain taking a moment to catch up. “It’d be better if you showed up in the morning, bring Regina breakfast and all”, it’s what he ends up deciding for. He says it very casually, adamantly ignoring how his heart beats faster when he does it. And, because he wants to highlight it, wants to make it so very clear Leonardo doesn’t have any more doubts about it. “We can go to Alessandro’s café in the morning. Figure something else out”.

He knows the mayor gets visited by high class prostitutes, has pictures to prove it. He also knows Mattia’s dealer, how much in debt he is. The mayor’s wife is the great mystery in his little family picture, but he also knows that he goes to the beauty salon every Saturday morning like clockwork. They can get that construction contract. One way or the other.

“That, we can do”, Leonardo agrees. His shirt hits the floor.

#trust fx #primo nizzuto #Primo x Leonardo #me @ me: stick with a single fic it's not that difficult #my brain softly: n o

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willow-salix · 4 years

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This Isolation Island update idea was dreamt up after a conversation with @the-lady-razorsharp and @olliepig. I also feel like it's calling out a lot of us, especially @gumnut-logic. This is Isolation after dark, we've left the pg13 world a little.

Day 51 of Isolation on Tracy island and I’d grown so bored that I'd resorted to desperate measures. I spent the entire morning, and part of the afternoon catching up on the fan mail posts that the boys didn't know they had, on a forum they didn't know existed. Well, it wasn't like they were going to do it.

“Virgil's favourite colour?” I asked myself, tapping away on my laptop. "Gotta be green, I mean…" I lifted my head to seek him out. "Virg! What's your favourite colour?"

“Green,” he answered instantly. That's one thing i love about that boy, he hardly ever questions my random outbursts.

I nodded and moved on to the next. "Alan's favourite food…does anything count?" I mumbled under my breath. "He's not hard to please...no, they want a real answer from him…Allie? What would you say is your favourite food?”

“Mac and Cheese,” he answered. "Why?"

I ignored him as I typed out my answer and hit send before moving on to the next. “Scott, what aftershave do you wear?”

“That one you got me for christmas, why?”

I typed out ‘Only The Brave: Wild’ in answer and hit send. I was on a roll now! Next!

“Gordon, boxers or briefs?”

“Briefs.”

I nodded and typed again.

“What are you doing?”John popped up like a ninja meerkat, his face right next to mine, nosing at my laptop screen. "Fan forum?"

"I decided to be your press secretary, because the fan mail is piling up and none of you are bothering to answer it. It's not like I've got anything else to do right now."

"We have fan mail?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you do, you have very dedicated fans you know."

"We do?" Gordon asked, suddenly interested in what I was doing.

"Have you guys seriously not paid any attention to this?"

They all shook their heads in unison, each looking as bewildered as the other.

"Oh lawd you're all useless." I hit the back button a few times and scrolled through the posts then turned the screen so they could see it . "This is your official fan page, set up by the president of your fan club and none of you knew about it?"

Again with the head shakes.

"Men," I snorted, going back to my work. I was left in peace for all of two seconds before the questions started.

"What kind of fan mail?"

"Who's their favourite?"

"Is it weird on there?"

"Fan mail from your fans, there is no one favorite and it can be, " I answered.

"No favourite?" Alan confirmed.

"Nope, you all have your own teams."

"Teams?" Scott's eyebrows rose in question.

"Yep, Virgil's Virtuosos, Alan's Angels, Gordon's Sirens, Scott's Spitfires and John's Stars."

They all looked quite pleased with their little fan gangs, chatting quietly amongst themselves, leaving me in peace which was fine by me as I was trying to concentrate dammit.

I was tapping away, doing my thing, answering questions on practically everything when I realised that something felt off about the scene before me.

Over the course of an hour the boys had been randomly getting up and wandering off, but that in itself wasn't that weird, they often got bored and vanished to parts unknown, they would come back eventually. No, the weird thing was when I asked Virgil a question and Scott answered.

"Virg, what's the longest you've ever spent on your hair?"

"Six hours," Scott replied. I frowned at my screen, that didn't sound right.

"Is your name Virgil?" I asked sarcastically, finally looking up…"Why are you wearing plaid?" Those jeans looked a little baggy too.

Come to think of it, why was John wearing Gordon's hawaian shirt? That was just…wow, not good.

"OK, that's disturbing…" those rolled up, ripped jeans were not a good look on him, especially since they were almost to his knees. And his hair. "What happened to your hair?" I wailed. Oh the humanity!

Scott was apparently on a roll, because he was on his feet and posing like Arnold Schwarzenegger and his hair, gods his hair! Instead of his nearly slicked back (if a little long now) look, he had attempted Virgil's trademark cockscomb. He looked like he'd been electrocuted.

My eyes slid to Alan who was drowning in Scott's favourite blue shirt that he had been wearing not half an hour before, and I couldn't see his feet, the pants were so long. Allie's hair was neat for once and smoothed to perfection (he had to have had help with that).

Gordon was wearing Alan's T-shirt and his cargo pants and…well he didn't actually look too bad, he was passable.

But Virgil…

"Oh my lawd, Chonky what did you do?"

The big guy was squeezed into John's shirt and when I say squeezed, I mean bulging at the seams, how were those buttons even connecting, he could barely move, his arms were sticking out at right angles, tight. I wouldn't dare let my eyes stray. Don't look down, don't look down, I chanted to myself, because I know my boy can pull off tight pants (have you seen that spacesuit?) but John does not have the thunder thighs that Virgil does and…my eyes dropped lower without my say so.

"Eeep," I camped my hands over my eyes and counted to ten before I opened them again. Virgil's hair was safe to look at…no it wasn't!

I immediately started laughing, I couldn't help it. He'd attempted to replicate John's style (I think) but had ended up with something more like a 1940's victory roll going on up front. I leant closer, what was that?

"Is that a toilet paper tube?"

He nodded, looking rather proud of his efforts.

I shook my head in utter disbelief at what I was witnessing.

"Ask us more questions," Gordon said once Scott finally stopped doing his muscle man impression and sat down.

For lack of anything else to do in the situation, I did as I was told.

"Gordon, what is your favourite time of day?"

"Bedtime," John answered for him. "Because then I get to sleep and dream of how awesome I am."

I raised an eyebrow at this but dutifully wrote it down anyway.

"Scott, why are you always frowning?"

"Because I'm the one that has to deal with idiots all day long," Alan answered.

"No, that's me," I muttered as I typed out the answer. "John, why do we never see you?"

"Because people make my big brain hurt," Virgil answered for him. "And I'd rather hide away than deal with them."

"I actually can't argue with that one," John admitted.

"Alan, if you could meet anyone, who would it be?"

"An alien," Gordon responded.

And so it went on, each of them trying to outdo the other, turning my simple question and answer session into a Tracy family roast.

Finally I ran out of questions, mostly because I was laughing too much to actually think.

"Oh Gods, if the people in this forum could see you all now," I laughed, wiping tears from my eyes. "That would be some high quality fan fiction fodder right there."

"Some what now?" Scott asked.

"Fan fiction, you know, stories people write?"

"Wait a second, are you saying there's stories out there about us?" Virgil asked.

I nodded slowly, like they were too dumb to understand otherwise.

Their faces were a mixture of utter horror and morbid fascination.

John plonked down next to me and stole my tablet to have a look. He skimmed through a few, his nose creasing, eyebrows furrowing.

"Gordon," he announced, "I hate to tell you this but you just died."

"I died?" the poor squid looked horrified by the idea.

"So did Scott, and Virgil's just lost a leg."

"So you came out of it fine?" Scott grumbled.

"No, my craft just blew up and I'm currently floating through space. Might I request that someone go and retrieve my body?"

Scott took my tablet from him and did some scrolling of his own. "Why is this version of me having a lot more fun and action?" he grumbled.

Virgil leant over his shoulder to look, and we heard a loud ripping noise as John's shirt lost its battle with Virgil's shoulders.

"Yes!" I cheered. "Can you wear his dressing gown next?"

OK…so I might have earned that glare.

"I'm very dashing and romantic," Virgil grinned. "The ladies must love me."

"What am I doing?" Alan demanded to know.

"Pouting and complaining," Gordon answered, snatching the tablet from Scott and flicking through until he found his own name mentioned. His face morphed from a cheeky grin to utter disbelief.

"What…what am I doing? Why am I doing that? Stop me doing that!" Gordon yelpled, flinging the tablet back in my direction like I was mistress of the Internet and could fix all his problems. I just about caught it before it hit the edge of the table and checked the screen.

"Gordon, I'm sorry, but you are indeed trying to have…relations with that shark," I informed him solemnly. "I also advise that you don't let it bite you there, it might be a little delicate."

Scott burst out laughing, closely followed by Virgil and Alan.

"And unfortunately, I can't stop it," I finished.

"Why does that even exist?" Gordon groaned, hiding his face on his hands.

John took the tablet from me and kept flicking. "Huh, I've got a really cute boyfriend here," he turned the screen to show me.

"Oooh, he is cute, can we share him?"

"Sure," he read a little bit more. "He actually does remind me of my first crush."

"Is he still single?"

"What, I'm not enough for you?" he nudged me with an elbow but had that little half smile on his face that told me he was teasing.

"Of course you are, plus I do already have Scott as my backup."

"Yeah, don't forget about me."

"Never," I blew him a kiss.

"Gordon has a boyfriend too," John pointed out, "and I don't mean the shark," he passed the tablet over.

"That's better," Gordon agreed, reading ahead. "Uh oh! Someone crashed Two."

"What?" Virgil dragged the tablet away to check. "Why would they do this to me?"

"It's called whump, and you appear to be one of their favourite victims," I lifted John's arm to snuggle into his side, lacing my fingers with his where they rested on my shoulder.

"Whump?" Virgil confirmed.

"Yep," I nodded. "Basically, if they can hurt you, kill you, make you cry, break a limb or your heart, it'll be there."

Poor guy looked devastated. "I thought they loved us?"

"They do. That's why."

"That makes no sense!" Alan wailed, finally breaking his silence. Somehow he'd gotten hold of the tablet and he was reading through some of the offerings. "I have a concussion, a broken arm and a punctured lung."

"Sucks to be you," Gordon patted his shoulder, taking the tablet back.

He settled back on the couch to search out more of his starring roles. "Hey, this one has me and Virgil in description!"

"You might want to be careful with one's like th-" I started, but I was drowned out by his horrified scream.

"I tried to warn you," I sighed.

"What's wrong?" Scott demanded to know.

Gordon shuddered, gagging on nothing.

"I think he found the Tracy pairings," I whispered to John, who shuddered in revulsion.

Gordon whimpered pathetically. I shook my head sadly and took the tablet away, tucking it into my bag.

"No more fanfic for you."

They were quiet for around five minutes, digesting the horror of what they had just learnt about their fictional selves.

"I liked the one where we got to go to the zoo," Alan finally broke the silence, trying valiantly to make things better.

"I liked when we got a puppy," Gordon grinned.

"I need a beer," Virgil announced, heaving himself to his feet. "And I need to get out of these pants before I ruin all chances of ever fathering the children those writers want me to have."

Well, that had been an interesting and educational evening, although I'm not sure they liked what they learnt. And I can tell you one thing, John's hair is not staying like that.

#Isolation Island #Thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds 2015

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drunklander · 4 years

Text

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 506

STAY AT HOOOOOOOME!!!!!

Ok, now that that’s out of the way... I kind of liked this episode. Which surprised me. Because usually I find myself neutral at best. But, considering how much I’ve hated disliked the last few seasons, I guess that feeling mostly neutral means this season has been better? The bar is low, y’all.

Could 1000% still use more Claire though. And more Jamie and Claire. And yes I know I’m saying that in the recap for an episode where the two of them bang.

I said what I said.

The title card’s powder blocker thingy looks like a plague doctor mask. We should bring those back. I found a box that had a bunch of them in it in the closet at my office once. That was weird. Also, stay the fuck at home and 6′ away from people if you have to go out on a supply run or take a walk.

Ooo, a flashback! I miss Scotland.

“Whom do I address, sir?” “I am Samuel Torrington,” said the guy who is most def *not* Samuel Torrington.

I know I shouldn’t laugh because of what’s about to happen, but looool at the girl for stepping in the literal one spot of mud.

Well that was dumb. Why the fuck would you run in between your dad and the guy he’s clearly gonna shoot?

I mean, it’s super sad, I guess. But also hella dumb.

Ah, a lavender pillow. Yes, I know it’s from the book. But between this and the BJR stuff, it’s like, do they know other smells exist?

But yeah, guess I shouldn’t talk since I have lavender hand soap, lavender lotion, lavender tea and a lavender candle.

It’s the best smell.

Ok, I get why Murcasta can’t be endgame. That was a good decision. But including Innes BeCaUsE tHe BoOk is dumb af. They got to the right decision to break up Murcasta, but for the wrong fucking reason.

Like, seriously though, can we please take a moment to appreciate how dumb this is? Like, book!Innes is from Ardsmuir. He’s been part of the squad. He’s basically one of Jamie’s most trusted friends. And he marries Jocasta. Show!Innes is literally some dude we’ve never heard of until last week because the fucking writers were like oh, Jocasta has to marry someone named Duncan Innes. Guess we should make that happen, out of the blue, for no other reason. Lazy idiots...

Jocasta has better handwriting than I do and I can fucking see what I’m doing.

Also lol at her straight up ignoring Roger saying that Jemmy won’t take her money.

Cut to Jemmy crying about the fact that he is now a participant in chattel slavery. I feel you, Jem.

Oh, it’s a cold? Ok fine, but also the whole chattel slavery thing.

ADSOOOOO! Such a good lil floofer! Look how nice he is, bringing them that excellent bug! WHO’S A GOOD KITTY? YOUUU ARE!

I really like Claire’s necklace. Also Claire’s neck. Also Claire’s collarbones. Also Claire. Can we have more Claire please? And less manpain in general?

D’awww, Lord John Grey the awkward gay. GIVE HIM AN APPROPRIATE BOYFRIEND ALREADY, YOU COWARDS.

Tryon is such a fucking douche. So is Quincy Arbuckle.

Well, it might not prevent tumultuous and riotous assembly, but not hanging out in groups larger than 10 sounds like a greAT FUCKING IDEA RIGHT NOW.

STAY AT HOOOOOOOOOOOOME. (If you are able to, and if you have to go to work, WASH YOUR HAAAAAAAAAAAANDS.)

Fergus, Marsali and Bree standing around this room being disappointed with Roger is A Mood™.

Team Give Fergus and Marsali More to Do

Oh, you’ve never been comfortable in your big fancy mansion? Poor you. *plays the world’s smallest violin*

News spreads slowly in/from the backcountry except, apparently, Claire’s medical advice.

Claire Fraser said reproductive rights!!! *ups monthly donation to Planned Parenthood*

The casting for Wylie is fucking perfect. Like kudos to the casting folks again.

I cared more about the Regulator shit in the show than the book because Murtz, but all the “Oh it’s happening! JK, it’s not! JK, it is!” that they took from the book is making me care less about it. Just happen already or fuck off.

Yes, I know it’s gonna happen next week.

Roger shoveling shit makes me happy. Because it’s gross and I do not like Roger.

“You keep shoveling your shit.” -- The Fandom Bree

Wylie should be a caricature with how fucking terrible he is, but let’s be real. We've all run into a guy like that.

Oh, Claire’s rings.

I did some mental gymnastics years ago to try to wrap my brain around why Claire would still wear an emotionally abusive piece of shit’s Fred’s ring. And the fact that the books and the show are like nope, she just likes Fred, drives me up a fucking wall every time.

“He must have been quite the man to inspire such devotion after all these years.” “Nah, he was an asshole. A complete and utter piece of shit. And instead of going with that and all the complexities it brings, we continue to gaslight the audience that he was a Good Dude. Instead of using the ring as a symbol of something more than fucking Fred, we just keep on pretending he didn’t suck.”

I hate everyone involved with refusing to acknowledge how shitty Fred was.

There is literally only one smuggler in the Carolinas.

DO NOT GO WITH THE CREEPY MAN TO A SECOND LOCATION. CLAIRE, THIS IS BEING A WOMAN 101. NEVER GO WITH A CREEP TO A SECOND LOCATION.

“I get a biblical plague.” You get what you deserve, Rog.

Jamie, chill with the extra testosterone. Just punch the bro or something.

Also don’t fucking blame the victim, asshole.

Literalol at Bree showing the women her like stick and sheet fan thing and then cut to all the people with just little squares, barely doing anything.

“Don’t stop! Keep your fires going!” *everyone stops and just stares at the bugs*

Gonna go ahead and take this time to remind folks that’s it’s fucking gross to get married on a plantation. Don’t do that thing.

I know a guy who is like proud of the fact that he’s an asshole. He talks about it like it’s one of his defining traits. This scene with Wylie being like “buddy, I love my shitty reputation” reminds he of that guy. I cannot fucking stand that guy.

*ignores Claire’s feelings about Fred’s dumb ring and headcanons in my own reasons instead because I cannot even with this nonsense anymore*

Ah, the Lindsays like Roger now. I still do not like Roger.

I fucking love this whole Murcasta scene. Can we get one of these for Jamie and Claire? I miss them having big sweeping scenes that have time to breathe and unfold and all the good shit like Murcasta gets here.

The show keeps trying to deny it, but scenes like this are where it’s strongest. But it refuses to accept that this is its lane and keeps trying to go elsewhere.

I miss Jamie and Claire.

I miss the MacKenzies.

I wanna give Jocasta a hug. She’s still trash for enslaving people, though.

Maria Doyle Kennedy is a goddamn treasure. Seriously, her casting was the best choice the show made in years.

That and saving Murtz, of course.

So fucking glad they cut the creepy-ass foot thing.

Jamie, you’re drunk, but read the fucking room. Claire’s right. Just because she says shit from the future all the time doesn’t negate the fact that she’s right about you right now. Also, seriously? You’re taking *this* opportunity to call her out?

Buddy deserved that slap.

Look, I’m always down for the Frasers to fuck. More Fraser fucking, I say. But this is just another instance like their fight at Lallybroch where the fight itself is never actually resolved like it should be. They just fuck about it and magically everything is ok again. Le sigh.

Murcasta gets a big long scene with time to breathe and talk through everything and it’s riveting af. But Jamie and Claire never get that anymore and it pisses me off tbh.

Stop shoehorning in book lines! She can’t see shit through all the skirts and stuff!

I miss the Lallybroch ring. What did they ever end up doing with it? It’s floating around somewhere.

Bonnet is so evil to 11 about fucking everything that it makes him boring. We get it. You’re a bad guy. Do you also have a tiny dick or something that you’re overcompensating for?

Can we please wrap this Bonnet shit up this season? I swear if they drag it out as long as they do in the books I’m gonna be rull annoyed.

Ok so now the war is actually gonna for real happen and I’m like legit out of fucks to give about it because Murtz aside, they’ve done the “it’s coming, jk!” fake out too many times...

Can they try to hang Murtz instead? Because I swear spending half a season with emo!Roger is cruel and unusual punishment.

#*#outlander starz #outlander 5x06 #drunj!der yells about outlander

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sukkadeservedbetter · 5 years

Text

It’s Different.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: After a dramatic and traumatizing experience at a gas station, things with Tom hit different.

Warnings: Mugging/Robbery

Word Count: 2.6 of fluff

You’ve always been oddly comforted by the smell of gasoline. Anything that smelled like a car garage had always left you with a sense of euphoria: new tires, exhaust pipes, and metals. It wasn't something you could really explain, but as the faint smell of gasoline entered your nose after a horribly long day at work, you welcomed it.

Your mother always told you not to let your mileage gauge get below 50 miles, but you never listened to her. Tonight you got to the gas station with 10 miles left. Tempting the fates was becoming a little hobby of yours—at least when it came to getting gas. Mainly because you hated pumping gas. It wasn't hard, or even a lot of work, but you always realized you needed gas at the worst possible times. Like tonight, for example. You didn't have anywhere to be, but you were tired. You debated whether you wanted to prolong getting into your comfy clothes tonight or wake up earlier tomorrow in order to fill your stupid car with gas. In the end, prolonging rest now seemed a whole lot better than waking up any earlier than you needed to tomorrow.

You begrudgingly dragged your exhausted body out of your car. It wasn't all that late, but the sun had gone down behind the hills and a faint wind nipped at your neck and cheeks. Summer was officially over, but the remanence of long, warm nights hung in the faint pink glow of the horizon. You scrolled through your phone mindlessly as your car's tank filled agonizingly slowly. You heard your mother's voice telling you that you should always wait in your car while pumping gas at night, just in case. You shook off her words. You lived in the sleepiest part of L.A. where nothing even remotely interesting happened. It was all families and Instagram models here—not crackheads and gangs.

The gas pump clicked, letting you know you were finally done with this heinous chore. You placed the pump back in its holster and finished up paying on the pin pad. As you pivoted on your left foot to turn around and hop into your car, you felt cool metal press against the back of your skull. Your throat closed immediately. The pounding in your chest became overwhelmingly loud. Your ears rang and everything began to slow. Whoever was behind you spoke, but you couldn't hear anything.

They teach you about the "fight or flight response," but they never tell you about the third reaction in response to fear: freeze. You wanted to scream, or run, or kick, but you couldn't do anything. Your lip began to quiver as you cursed yourself for never listening to your mom's advice. The person behind you grabbed onto your arm so hard you yelped.

"Shut the fuck up!" The voice yelled. It was deep and gravely. "I said, give me your money and I won't have to use this." You heard the sound of his gun cocking and you let out a silent wail.

"I don't have anything," you plea, putting your hands up to show you were literally empty-handed.

"Do you think I'm a fucking idiot? Where is your purse? In the car? Walk." The man shoved you towards your car. Your mind raced with possibilities of how to get out of the situation. You quickly realized that you were either going to have to give him your money or he would shoot you and there was no in-between. For a moment you let yourself hope that someone would save you in a damsel-in-distress moment, but you knew that real life wasn't a fairytale, and knights in shining armor were far and in between in L.A.

The man turned you around and shoved you against your car door causing you to wince. When you saw his face you let out a sob. He was wearing a Spider-Man mask. Your mind went straight to Tom. You and Tom had been friends for years. You knew he was kind and good, but you couldn't help but associate him with the mask and that made this situation so much worse.

"Now, give me your money so I don't have to blow your fucking head off," The man sneered. You gulped as you turned around to open your car door. The man placed a harsh hand on your hip as you bent over to reach for your purse. Your throat closed up again thinking about what he might do after you give him the money. You grabbed both your debit and credit card out of your wallet. In a stroke of dumb luck, you remembered something from a John Mulaney special you had watched with Tom a while back.

"Here. Fetch!" You yelled as you turned around and chucked your cards as far away from yourself and the car as you could. The man shoved you into your car, causing you to hit your head, as he ran towards your cards which were now scattered about 20 yards away. You slammed your door shut and drove away quickly, hoping he wouldn't shoot towards your speeding car. You felt numb. Your body shook as you drove. You wanted to go home and sob, but you knew you had to go to the police station first.

The police station took forever. You sat in a boring room that was too bright and too cold as you listened to a policewoman talk you through the process of filing a report. You weren't fully there and if she had asked you to repeat what she was saying you wouldn't have been able to. After what seemed like forever, the police let you go. You got in your car and stared forward mindlessly. Where were you supposed to go? Home was the obvious answer, but you didn't want to go back to your dark and lonely apartment after what had happened. Every time you blinked you saw Spider-Man holding a gun towards you.

You realized that you wanted to see Tom. Tom always knew how to make you feel better and after being terrorized by someone who looked like Spider-Man, Tom's happy-go-lucky attitude and soft British voice was something you craved. You checked the time to find that it was nearing 11:30. Tom might not even be home, but you didn't care. You considered calling him first, just to see if he was home, or wanted to see you, but you were already outside of his apartment before you could truly comprehend that you were heading to him.

You stood with shaking hands outside of his building. As you pressed the call button for his apartment, you became instantly anxious. What if Tom didn't want to see you? What if he had someone over? What if—

"Hello?" Tom's voice rang from the speaker. You let out a shaky sigh of relief. At least he was home. "Hello?" Tom asked again.

"Oh, uh. Hi, Tom..."

"(Y/N)? What're you doing here?" He didn't sound upset, just confused.

"I, uh... can I come up?"

"Yeah, of course!" The door buzzed and clicked open. You pushed the ornate gold handle and began bounding up the stairs. You should've taken the elevator in your state, but you didn't want to wait. Your heart was pounding as you climbed to the ninth floor. By the time you got to Tom's apartment, you were out of breath. You took a moment to compose yourself before you knocked. Tom opened the door with a sideways smile. Upon seeing his face you immediately crumpled into his arms and started sobbing. You hadn't processed what had happened yet, but seeing Tom all soft and warm in his hoodie and sweats made you feel safe.

Tom grabbed you just before you hit the floor and wrapped you into a tight hug. You knew he was probably scared and confused, but you couldn't stop crying long enough to explain yourself. You were ugly crying. There were snot and tears coming out of and your jagged breaths made you feel as though you could vomit. Tom didn't say anything he just rubbed your back and pulled you onto his couch.

"I'm-- I'm so... so sorry," You choked out.

"Shhh, it's okay," Tom comforted. "It's alright, Darlin'." Even upset that pet name made your heart swell. "What's going on?" Tom asked. You took a few seconds to gain some composure. You sat up and wiped the tears from your face as best you could. After a few seconds of uneven breathing, you began to tell Tom what happened. His brows furrowed and his grip on your thigh tightened as you told him how this stranger attacked you.

"I didn't mean to bother you so late I just... I didn't know where to go," you said as you concluded your story.

“No, it’s okay! I’m glad you can here. You’re always welcome here. You know that.” Tom pulled you in for another tight hug. You breathed in his cologne. The familiar scent sent your brain back to last spring when the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Tom wasn’t just a friend—or he was, but with benefits. Two years ago after a bad break up and a lot of tequila the two of you first hooked up. After that, it became custom for the two of you to get together whenever you were both single and in the same place. It wasn’t constant and both you had been in and out of relationships since you first hooked up, but when it happened it happened—no questions asked. A part of you often longed for something more, but at the end of the day, you were just happy to have someone like Tom in your life.

You looked up at Tom through glassy eyes. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Tom had always been good at reading you even if you swore you had a great poker face. Tom placed two fingers under your chin and tilted your head so that your lips met his. It was a soft kiss, nothing particularly special, but behind it was all the care in the world and it was mutual. You break apart after only a few seconds.

"I hope that makes up for that asshole using my likeness to mug you." You let out a shaky laugh.

"It did. Thank you."

"I cannot believe the wisdom of John Mulaney came to you in your moment of crisis," Tom laughed.

"Actually, I think it was Detective J.J. Bittenbinder's wisdom," you teased. As you moved to sit completely upright you winced.

"You okay?" Tom asked, suddenly worried.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good. That guy just rattled me around a bit. I'll be fine." You were lying. You would be fine, but your hip and back and arm hurt like hell and you didn't want Tom to worry.

"Okay..." Tom said, obviously still unsure. "Do you want to shower? It'll help you relax."

"Yeah, that would be really nice." Tom helped you up from the couch. You followed him to his bathroom with his hand interlaced in yours. You forgot how attractive an attentive/over-protective Tom was.

"You can get in. I'll go grab you a towel," Tom said. You didn't really respond so much as nod, but you knew he knew that you meant, "sure, thank you." You quickly stripped yourself of your clothing and stepped into the steaming water. You winced and cowered away from the water as it hit your forming bruises. You looked down at the marks on your arm and hip which were already red and swollen. The faint outline of fingers traced over your hip. Looking down at the marks, you wanted to cry again, but you knew that there was no point.

You heard the bathroom door open again and could just see Tom's figure from behind the fogged-up glass door. You closed your eyes and let the water pour over your face. When you opened your eyes again Tom's figure was closer to the door, but this time it was devoid of clothing. The door opened and Tom stepped in silently. You turned around to face him.

"Hi," You whispered.

"Hi. This okay?" Tom asked. You nodded, but you suddenly felt the need to cover yourself. You couldn't figure out why you felt so exposed. Tom had seen you naked plenty of times, but this felt different. This was so much more intimate. Normally when you were naked in front of Tom alcohol was involved and during the times it wasn't your exposed body was veiled by the haze of lust and need. Now there was nothing to conceal your skin or your bruises.

Tom's eyes immediately went towards the mark on your arm. He lifted it up to see the bruise better and felt like you could see his heartbreaking as his face crumpled at the sight. "Baby..." he whined, pulling you in for another hug. Your breath caught in your chest at the pet name. Tom never called you 'baby' except for during sex. You (along with most other girls) were always 'love' or 'darling", but this time he called you baby. It felt different.

Your wet body pressed against his. You had never showered with Tom. It was nice. It wasn't sexual like you assumed it would be. In fact, for once, Tom wasn't trying to make an intimate situation sexual at all. Tom pressed a wet kiss to your forehead. "I'm so sorry," he said against your hair.

"It's fine," you mumbled back. Tom turned you around so that your back was now against his chest. You felt his fingertips skim over what you assumed to be various bruises on your back. Without warning, Tom brought his lips down to your shoulders and peppered open kisses across them. He brought his arms around your waist and you bit back a huge grin. Either subconsciously or out of habit leaned your neck to the side to give Tom better access to your neck. Rather than giving you a hickey like you expected him to, he pressed a soft kiss to the exposed skin and turned your head back to meet his lips.

This kiss was different than the kiss you shared on the couch. This kiss was slow and deliberate. Tom slipped in just enough tongue to give you the chills. You could've stayed in that moment forever, but you knew all too well that all good things must come to an end. After what seemed like hours you and Tom stepped out of the shower into the foggy bathroom. Tom wrapped a towel around you, kissing your forehead again in the process. You internally groaned at the thought of putting your jeans back on and going home. Like always, Tom was one step ahead of you.

"Do you want to stay?" Tom asked, but it wasn't like he normally asked you. Something in his voice was different. "I could stay on the couch if you want the bed to yourself, or you could have the couch. I just..." He was nervous.

"You don't need to sleep on the couch," You said, calming Tom's nerves. "You just have to let me borrow a t-shirt."

"Deal." Tom handed you one of his shirts. You slipped your panties back on and let Tom's shirt engulf your figure. It smelled like him. By the time you were finished drying your hair, Tom was already in bed. He was awake, but barely. You slipped into bed next to him and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks, Tommy."

"Of course, (Y/N)." You had ended your nights so many times in the same way in Tom's bed, but when he wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your shoulder, something felt different.

——

A/N: This is loosely based on an experience I had a few months back and while getting gas I got inspired! Lemme know what you think :)

#tom holland #tom tom #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fan fiction #tom holland blurb #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland fan fic #tom holland imagine #harrison osterfield #peter parker #peter prker fic #spiderman

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imaginesnkdorks · 5 years

Text

Thank Goodness for Crazy

Part X: Real or Not Real? | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 |

Pairing: Erwin/Reader

Summary: That time Erwin shows he can be dramatic and Grisha finally came up in a conversation.

I woke up on my bed, and alone. I really should've heeded Erwin's warning before I joined the corps. But nothing ventured, nothing gained right? Though what did I gain, really? Heartache? I decided to not think of it for now. And since I performed quite well during the last expedition – considering it was my first time – I think I should stay and lend my strength. There's nothing else for me to do anyway.

I guess lady luck hates me so much right now though, that I woke up with puffy eyes and a clogged nose. I feel like I'm going to have the flu. Ugh. A knock on my door broke the silence, Erwin’s voice followed.

“Are you up?”

“Yes.”

“Are you decent?” He joked. We moved on from what probably is the most awkward thing to ever happen to us both, and made it into our little private joke. And well, it made us grow closer. I mean, he did saw me naked… Anyways, despite feeling really under the weather, I can’t help but laugh at that.

“Yeah, I am. Come on in.”

I look like a total mess, but Erwin is the closest thing I have to a family so I couldn’t care less.

“You look horrible.” He said unceremoniously as he closed the door.

“Thanks.” I scooted over so he could sit beside me on the bed. I wonder why he’s here?

He turned to look at me, then he leaned in so close we were practically nose to nose! I racked my brain as I try to process what sort of social situation this is, and I could only come up with one answer.

I instinctively closed my eyes, is he really going to *gulp* kiss me?! My room was pretty quiet, aside from my heavy breathing and rapid heartbeat (which I’m sure Erwin can hear as he’s so fucking close) and his almost silent snicker. Yeah, great Erwin just have a laugh at my expense. Then I felt it.

I opened my eyes – which I bet are as round as saucers right now – and saw Erwin’s thick brows meet in worry. He’s got a hand on my forehead, the other on my shoulder. He’s got a really weird way to feel one’s forehead, it seems.

“You feel hot, Andi. Do you think you can walk to the infirmary?” Now, my idiot brain decided to get back at him for putting me in an uncomfortable position.

“No. Carry me downstairs.” I replied in my pitiful attempt to make him feel uncomfortable. Let me see that flustered face.

Too bad it backfired. He really knows how to wipe off the smug grin off my face. Erwin scooped me up bridal-style.

“Hey! Put me down! I was just kidding!” Now, I would have totally kicked and punched if I just wasn’t coming down with a fever. So I barely struggled.

The asshole just gave me a smile, clearly enjoying my flustered face. I’ll remember to kick his ass later. He obviously didn’t listen to me despite my complaints. I stopped yelling at him when we got outside my door as the last thing I want is to attract the attention of the other soldiers.

But as luck would have it, we run into almost everyone I’m close to.

Mike decided that the proper way to address the situation was to give us a wolf whistle. Many, like Nanaba, clapped and cheered saying things like “go Erwin!” You’d think these people are all in high school.

In my humiliation, I hid my face by leaning into his chest. I decided that I should just pretend to be sleeping, that way I could play dumb if I get teased later.

In this position, I could clearly hear Erwin’s heart beating. This is crazy. I admit, his heartbeat is a tad faster than normal, and I can’t say that it’s not affecting me. But I can’t let this have any effect on me whatsoever. I just can’t.

As I try to convince myself to stay calm, I heard the voice that I dreaded to hear.

Preceded by a maniacal laugh, Hange continued, “Erwin! Wrong way. Turn around to go to the dorms.”

Erwin gave her an uncharacteristically-boyish laugh. He chose to say nothing (thank goodness) and continued on to the clinic. He might just be concerned about me, and he’s not just teasing me huh? We soon arrived and even though he’s carrying me, he managed to open the door.

“What’s wrong?” The apathetic doctor asked.

“She’s having a fever.”

“Oh. Well, that seems simple enough. I don’t see why you need to be dramatic and carry her all the way here. Come now, set her down here.”

Looking up, I can’t help but laugh at Erwin as he stares daggers at the asshole doctor.

“What?” He asked, feigning annoyance at my laughter.

“He’s right, you know.”

Erwin set me down, and the doctor went on to treat me. It was really just the basic – taking my temperature, handing me a wet towel and giving me some kind of tablet. I wonder what this is? Do they have paracetamol? I took it anyway, since well, doctor’s orders. And I expect I might have to do a lot of explaining to do if I mention paracetamol and they have no idea what it is.

“That’s it. Just drink plenty of water and get some sleep and you’ll be good. Now go back to your rooms so actual patients who can’t walk can use the bed. Go on.”

Erwin’s face matched mine as we stared at this doctor. Is he for real? I’ll make sure to mention this to “uncle” Keith. I stood up before Erwin had the chance to scoop me up again. We walked towards the door so we could finally get out of this hellhole, but someone on the other side opened the door for us.

“Andi! And, uh Irwin?” Theo said, in a tone of surprise.

“Erwin.” He said unamused.

“Yes. I know. Andi, are you alright?” He said, pushing Erwin aside and grabbing my hands. Erwin grunted in annoyance, but he still let Theo do what he wanted.

“Oh my, you feel hot. Doctor, shouldn’t she be in bed? Come Andi!” Theo said practically dragging me back to the bed that the asshole doctor just told me to get off of a minute ago.

“No, I’m fine. Really. What about you, what are you doing here?” At this question, Theo’s ears became red, and the color reached his cheeks. Stuttering, he answered, “uh, I just wanted to ask the doctor something. Uh, yes. That’s it.”

“We’ll leave you to it then.” Erwin answered, surprising us both, but what surprised us more was that he grabbed my hands from Theo’s grip and pulled me out of the room with him.

“What was that all about?” I asked Erwin as best as I could, considering I can only breathe through my mouth right now.

“What? He said he wanted to speak with the doctor. We shouldn’t listen in on their conversation.”

“Hmm. Whatever. It’s nice to know he’s alright, though.”

“He’s alive because of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You pulled him out of a titan’s mouth. It was really stupid of you.”

“Say what now?” Damn. I seriously can’t recall how I did those things and who are the people I saved.

Erwin sighed and looked at me before he told me what he saw during the expedition.

“You were amazing. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were a veteran. And a really good one at that. Let’s go back to your room. I’d rather we have this conversation in private.”

On our walk back, I can’t help but think “am I in trouble?” I can’t help but feel like I’ve done something wrong. Erwin’s tone just affected me that way.

We soon arrived at my room, and this part of the HQ just seem to be abandoned in its eerie quietness. There isn’t any sound, save for our footsteps and a few birds chirping outside. It feels like it was only the two of us here.

Once we were in my room, we both sat on my bed, as that’s the only place to sit. I should really get a desk and a chair.

“So?” I prompted. I made myself comfortable, wrapping a blanket around me as I wait for him to start.

“Well, you performed quite well. It’s as if you’ve been killing titans your whole life. And you surprised me more by pulling or pushing every soldier you see from certain death, one of them being your friend Theodore.”

“Wow. I, don’t know what to say except that I don’t exactly remember everything.” Which is true. Like I said before, it was like I was on autopilot. I moved on instincts alone. But him saying that I seemed like someone who’s been doing it for my whole life is seriously ridiculous.

My life before I got here was really boring. The most exciting thing that has ever happened was … well, nothing. My life was books and the internet, and movies. I wasn’t really physically active, let alone a titan slayer.

“Can’t say I doubt you. You were somehow different – like a whole other person. This makes me think more about your origin. Are you sure you remember everything about your world correctly?”

I was gonna answer yes right away, but his question planted a seed of doubt in my head: was I ever really in another world before this? What is real, anyway?

***

The next day, I still have doubts. Damn Erwin for making me think about things like this. But if you know me already, then you can tell that I’ll just forget about it. I live in the present, no use dwelling on those thoughts, especially if they just confuse me.

Feeling better than yesterday, I decided to drop by uncle Keith’s office. I wanted to complain about the doctor, and also to ask for more furniture. I had to walk a bit to get to his office, and like yesterday, the hall was deserted. I wonder where everybody is? My question was answered right away when I walked past a window. They’re all training downstairs. Figures. I should get back to training as well.

I finally reached his office. Knocking once, I heard his gruff voice telling me to come in.

“Oh, good it’s you. Come here and help me sign these.” He said straight away. Yay paperwork. He was signing yet another set of letter of condolences. I started forging his signature, and after the first five letters, I decided to stop reading the name of the deceased and just sign the damn thing. The last thing I want is to send tear-stained letters to their relatives.

“You did a great job, Andi. Thanks to you we got another vast amount of donation.” He said in his monotonous voice. Despite the good news he just delivered, the death toll of our last expedition is still weighing him down.

“Donation? From whom?” I asked, not bothering to look away from the papers I’m signing.

“Lord Thomas Van Rumpade. It’s only because of you that his son is alive.”

“Well, that’s good to know.”

After some moments of silence, I finally asked him about what I came here for.

“Uncle Keith, don’t we have any other doctors? The one here is so rude.” He snorted before answering. Classy Keith.

“Who wouldn’t act like that? The way you and Erwin went to the clinic is quite scandalous. I ought to reprimand you both. I didn’t expect that from Erwin.”

“What?! I was ill!”

“Sure you are. So ill you can’t walk.”

I was like a fish with my mouth agape. I can’t believe this; the scary commander is teasing me? I just shrugged it off. This will blow off soon enough, but he isn’t done yet.

“No more of that Andi, you understand? Especially while Lord Theodore is here.”

At the mention of Theo’s name, I felt my ears perk up. “What does he have to do with it?”

“Nothing.” I was about to pester him for more details, but he went on, “is that all that brought you here?”

“No. I’d like to get a chair and a desk for my room, too. Is that possible?”

“Of course. With the huge donation you brought in, we could also buy you more clothes.”

“Great. Oh, and one more thing. Do you remember telling me about that other man you found beyond the wall?”

“Yes. Grisha Yeager?”

“Yeah, him. I’d like to meet him.”

#thank goodness for crazy #Erwin #Erwin Smith #commander erwin #snk erwin #Commander Erwin Smith #reader insert #erwin x reader #erwin smith x reader #mod max

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deamaia · 5 years

Note

i thought 2x03 was absurd honestly. if alec had just chilled out for a sec, jace would've been home safe and sound. they were trying to show alec cared but imo it just made him look stupid. and 2x04/ 2x05 was a joke too with them making alec be traumatized by killing jocelyn and then todd saying they only did it so they could do a clalec frenemy arc (even tho they already did that in s1? ) why the repetitive cringy dramatics instead of just being normal friends? the beg of 2a was so bad imo

ohh anon you are asking me to go in deep with all these points because you are correct the show really said fuck you and delivered some of the ugliest shit dshafiosdfh

first of all, everyone is dumb on this show we already fucking know that, the only characters that have critical thinking are luke and magnus tbh so alec being like “that can kill me?? bro im literally the most rational character and i try to know the results of something before acting but yeah i guess i can do it because the plot needs me to haha fuck you jocelyn” .. anyway i think the show was trying to go more in depth with alec and jace’s parabatai bond but they failed lmao, the only thing i liked was how most of it wasn’t “i have to save my parabatai or i’m doomed” but rather “i have to save my brother or he’ll die” which was good but we never see anything with that level of impact again because every single thing related to the parabatai bond is how they are connected and how if one of them dies the other dies, it shouldn’t be like that, and it should have been explored outside of just jace and alec, i would have loved for the show to make up its own rules about the parabatai bond and present them to us, like maybe let them share things they feel and not just in “i feel how he is sad” but actually allow them to feel how the other is suffering idk. tbh it would have been so cool to see them fighting together and actually being in sync knowing exactly what the other is about to do, one of the most amazing ways to film fighting sequences is when continuous shots are used, so imagine how fucking cool it would have been if they kept a continuous shot going around a room showing how they were mimicking each other and the bond was what helped them kill whatever enemy ugghhhh also like yk how jace said he could feel how alec was happier but it was like he didn’t even fucking cared lmao they could have shown them BONDING OVER THAT BUT I GUESS EXPOSITION IS BETTER THAN ACTUALLY USING SOMETHING PRESENTED TO THE AUDIENCE TO FURTHER THE DEVELOPMENT OF RELATIONSHIPS AND CHARACTERS anyway the parabatai bond was awful and boring and completely unnecessary but because it gave alec and jace a reason to care for each other without actually having to dive into their dynamic it was brought up again and again to beat us over the head with how they are supposed to want the other to live or whatever man fuck that

anyway the 2x04 plot is so dUUUUUUUUUmb i hate it so much and fuck todd for that because dude how are you so fucking lazy to the point that you can’t get two main characters to form a friendship like how are you so fucking LAZY shut the fuck up!!!!!…. ok so i don’t remember where i said this but at the end of s1 (like you mentioned) they were already showing clary and alec starting to become friends, the scene in 1x12 proved it, and then in 1x13, todd and co are so fucking idiotic it pisses me off how easy HOW FUCKING EASY wouldn’t it have been to have them worry about jace and become a team to get him back, they literally wouldn’t have needed anything else to develop the friendship that would have been enough and after that they could have just shown casual scenes but they lack fucking brain cells holy shit. i love the talk clary and izzy have after clary starts doubting herself believe me but wouldn’t it have been better to have alec be the one that talked to clary???? like ok they could have had alec say the shittiest things to clary, blamed her for everything, snap at her because that’s what alec does, but once izzy has talked to alec about how clary also wants jace back alec goes to apologize to clary, and they mention how much jace means to each of them idk and in the process guess what they get to develop the relationship between alec and jace and also clace!!!!! IT’S THAT FUCKING EASY and it wouldn’t have been ooc because it’s literally what previews scenes were leading up to!!!!!!!!! ugh i just hate how dumb everyone that was in charge is like get some creativity bitch you don’t need to act like alec wants clary dead but then because he feels guilty about something he feels forced to be nice to her

2a was so fucking ugly i hate it with everything in me tbh and i hope you all understand why BECAUSE HOLY SHIT GARBAGE!!!!!!

#aisdhfodash i told y'all to not let me SPEAK #Anonymous #ask

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novantinuum · 6 years

Text

A Tale of Two Trollhunters (Ch. 2)

AO3

Fandoms: Gravity Falls, Trollhunters

Rating: T

Words: ~2500

Summary: Glass Shard Beach, 1967. When the trollhunter Kanjigar perishes years before he was supposed to, the amulet of daylight finds its next champion in a seventeen year old Stanley Pines. Now essential in the destiny of both the trolls’ subterranean world and the human one above, Stan, along with his twin brother and girlfriend, must fight to protect both worlds from the dark forces creeping in at the edges.

But destiny has a way of being unpredictable.

A Gravity Falls/Trollhunters fusion AU. Kind of a drabble series?

Note: Little to no knowledge of Trollhunters is required to understand this, I think, since Stan is going to discover this world for himself.

First chapter | Next chapter

Chapter 2: Daylight

Stan awoke to a soggy pillow, soaked in drool. His nose and mouth scrunched up in disgust as he wiped the slime off of his cheek. Already sensing from the dull throb behind his eyes that today would be more exhausting than usual, he dragged himself out from under the covers. He yawned, taking inventory of his surroundings. Ford was already halfway down the road to alertness and readying himself for the day, rummaging through his drawer for a clean pair of socks. Outside their window, he heard his dad shouting, the reason already explicitly clear to him. His brows threaded together, fingers fidgeting at the hem of his boxers. Aw shit, the man sounded pretty pissed off... “You okay?” “What? Uh-“ He flinched at the sudden address, Ford’s concerned expression focusing into view. Good grief, it was just his brother, just good ol’ Ford, nothing to bolt out of the room like Carla’s neurotic dachshund over. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, grabbing a pair of jeans off the top of a pile of clothes he’d scattered on the carpet by his bed. He gave them a sniff, and satisfied that they couldn’t stand up on their own, slipped them on. “Just had a really weird dream...” Images flowed through his still-waking mind, of iridescent blue and runic shapes. His journey to the beach at dawn, reading the text on the side of the amulet... the armor, the sword. It all seemed so unimaginable in hindsight, but the longer he was awake the more details he realized lined up pristinely with those foggy memories. He recalled hiding the amulet under his pillow when he finally returned to his room, and lo and behold it was still there. Granules of sand dusted his sheets, tracked in from the beach. Normally he’d wash his feet off before entering the apartment but this morning he failed to do so. And his father’s obvious anger this morning was proof that he indeed- as feared- impulsively shattered one of the pawn shop windows with a rock to make it appear as if a thief had entered in the early hours. None of it was a dream after all. However, he’d only know for sure once he got time alone to read those magic words again. “Good weird or bad weird?” Ford asked, tugging on his sneakers.

“Eh, I dunno. It’s all too fuzzy,” he said with a shrug, and slipped the amulet into his backpack when his brother was turned. “But probably no weirder than anythin’ your brain comes up with, yeah?”

He grinned, playfully elbowing him. Ford gave him that look he was so often at the receiving end of, complete with a single tilted eyebrow. Obviously he was not awake enough yet to enjoy some innocent brotherly pestering. A shame, really. He had a lot of quality material piling up. “Actually,” his twin said, pulling his bloated knapsack over his shoulders, “I haven’t remembered any of my dreams in much detail for a few years. So I can neither confirm or deny how weird my dreams may or may not be.” “Or what if- oh my god, what if all you dream about is boring everyday stuff, like reading, or eating a sandwich or taking a test?” he laughed. “But you’d never know because you can’t remember!” “Well, at least the subject of my dreams is actually mysterious, and I don’t talk in my sleep,” he quipped back, glancing pointedly at a spot somewhere behind him. Stan followed the path of his eyes to the polaroid of Carla pinned to the wall, and flushed a deep red. “S- shut up!” Ford grinned deviously. “Tell that to yourself.” ____

Stan exited through the pawn shop, locking the door behind him. Not that it helped much, with one of the front windows shattered to fragments. He cringed at the sight of glass scattered across the sidewalk, his father standing above the mess as he spoke with the local police. Uh-oh. Police becoming involved in this mess couldn’t pan out well. Damn, he wished he had more time to think through a plan before doing the first idiotic, impulsive thing his dumb mind could come up with. All he knew at the time was that he needed a way to keep the amulet without his dad knowing, which meant he couldn’t merely take it. If it went missing without a ruckus, he was sure he’d be suspect numero uno. But if it looked like an unrelated criminal broke in and stole it... he might have a chance to get away scot-free. So yes, he threw the rock. So sue him. The only trick to the plan now was convincing his father that he knew nothing about this. He yanked his worn backpack straps further up his shoulders, and walked towards him. “I see you’re finally up,” his dad greeted, as the police officer returned to their car. “Ford left for school fifteen minutes ago.” “Yeah, uh- what happened here?” he asked, feigning (what he hoped could be taken as) shock. “Some cretin threw a rock through the window while we were sleeping and stole that piece I showed you,” his dad huffed, crossing his arms. “There’s no sign of it, or any potential suspects.” “Geeze, that really sucks ass.” “Indeed it does,” he muttered, lightly kicking at a pile of glass with the toe of his shoe. “And it’s gonna ‘suck ass,’ as you so delicately put it, for all of us- repairs like this aren’t within our month’s budget. Hope you like rice, beans, and canned soup, son, because seems we’ll be having a lot of it.” “Aw, man. Is there anything I can help with?” Stan asked, scratching at his neck. His father crossed his arms and turned to appraise the damage once more. “I could use your eyes,” he admitted softly. “You’re the only person besides me who actually saw what it looks like. If you see that amulet, or anything suspicious around town, you let me know.” “I can do that,” Stan said with a nod. And it wasn’t entirely a lie, either- he’d definitely be keeping watch for any more strange occurrences after what happened early this morning. The catch was, he didn’t plan on ever telling Dad. He clasped his hands together. “Welp, I’m off to school. See you tonight.” The man merely hummed in response, and returned to scowling at the damage suffered by the pawn shop. ____

“For the glory of Merlin, daylight is mine to command,” he recited in a whisper, concealed from bystanders’ sight in the shadows of a back alley. With a pulse of light from the amulet, his feet lifted off the ground exactly like they had before. The armor materialized around him, and the grooves glowed blue for a second as he unceremoniously dropped to the ground, stumbling a little with the sudden added weight. He grinned, flexing his fingers. Very much not a dream. ____

“Are you okay?” Carla asked, leaning against the wall. She combed her fingers through her long curly hair, body language spiked with worry. “Yeah, ‘m fine,” he said as he unceremoniously dumped his notebooks in his locker. He fished through the crumpled papers in his backpack in search of his half-finished math homework, sneaking a glance at the amulet secured in one of the inner pockets. “Why does everyone keep askin’ me that today?” “Oh, I dunno, maybe ‘cause you look like you haven’t slept a wink in days?” she pointed out with a playful smile, and brushed the side of his face with the back of her knuckles. He eagerly leaned into her touch. They hadn’t seen each other since Friday, an unfathomable length of separation which in the world of teen romance might as well be a lifetime.

“Just had a rough night. I’ll be okay, babe.”

Her face dawned with realization. “Oh, is this about your family’s shop?” she said under her breath, carefully watching those passing by. “I saw it when I walked here. God, I’m so sorry that happened to all of you!”

“Naw, it’ll be fine,” he said, and slung his backpack over his shoulder. “It’s just a busted window, an’ hey, at least they barely even stole anythin’!” The final bell rang, gracefully interrupting his train of thought. Teens still loitering in the halls broke into sprint. Poor suckers, vying to reach their classes before teachers marked them tardy. As much as he’d love to avoid sitting in class for another excruciatingly long period, he knew far too well that he better follow their lead and dash as well. After all his offenses this term, Ms. Morgan had become annoyingly adept at catching him in the act of sneaking to his desk late.

“Go run, I’ll see ya’ at lunch,” he said with fondness, and kissed her cheek.

A wide smile blossomed across Carla’s face and she grabbed his hand, pulling him back to gift him with an additional kiss on the lips. “See ya’!” She retrieved her own bag from the ground and joined the flow of other students running down the hall.

Stan smiled dreamily, kiss still on his mind as he closed his locker and began the long march to Room 198, in the other wing of the school. He slowed down as he passed the first water fountain. Eh, procrastination at his locker already doomed him as tragically late- why bother running? It’s not like he cared about school that much. And so as the time passed ten o’ five he found himself entirely alone in the halls, excluding the hypnotizing ticking of the clocks.

Before he knew it the tempo of his march lined up with the timepiece’s.

The teen passed an empty classroom, and screeched to a stop faster than a crash test dummy flung mercilessly against a barricade. The hairs at the nape of his neck prickled with fiery intensity. He could swear he felt someone’s eyes locked onto him from within, from deep in the shadows. Feet propelled him at a crawl, and he slid flush against the door frame, wishing more than anything the amulet was in his hand now and not buried in between crumpled week old assignments. He closed his eyes, focusing on the rhythm pounding in his chest, focusing on what was real… what was tangible. Biting down restraint, he peered through the open doorway…

And saw absolutely no one.

Nothing but empty desks and half-erased blackboards. Not a soul stood in here. God, no one was spying on him. It was nothing but his overstimulated imagination, working overtime ever since he found that weird magical amulet.

“You dolt,” he scolded himself. “Gettin’ worse then your own twin.”

Go to class, his subconscious nudged him, and suddenly nothing else in the world sounded better. Go to class and forget about all this nonsense for a moment, Stan. It’s nothing.

It’s nothing.

____

He kicked a stray rock on the beach as he crossed the wind swept sand later that evening, wearing shoes for once. Ma would be proud, he thought, stifling laughter. His destination- the Stan O’ War- stood regally a few miles down shore, sail stretched tall and proud but tied off on the mast so the wind couldn’t catch it. Ford planned to meet him there soon, and then he’d whisk him into the caves to show the amulet in secret. That was his full plan, at least. First, one particular spot by the docks called intensely for a visit.

The mound of rubble acted as a significant enough landmark that he spotted it a fair distance away. His pace quickened, no longer paying any heed to avoiding piles of broken glass. Breath heavy as he came alongside it, he sat down next to the shattered stone. When his brother showed him this yesterday, feeding him theories about rock monsters, he’d scoffed at him. Back then he’d seen it as Ford bein’ Ford: comin’ up with wild conspiracy theories and desperately vying to find something out of the ordinary to prove he had a place in this world. He always understood why his bro felt so attracted to theories like that, but all the same he feared encouraging them, because what if others judged him even more for it? Ford was bullied enough already, he didn’t need a larger target on his back. Now, however- he slipped the amulet from his back pocket, holding it tightly in his palm- he imagined it’d be silly not to listen to him at least a little.

With the recent confirmation of the existence of magic, Stan couldn’t shake the theory that these two things were connected, amulet and stone. He wasn’t sure why, as being found on the same day was a harmless enough coincidence. It was more of a gut feeling, rising up swiftly within his core, vying to boil over with answers he wasn’t sure he was prepared for. Not for the first time his search for the truth left him lost, yearning with feverish intensity to understand his role in fate’s turning, if fate did in fact exist. Ma, despite being a fake phone psychic, wholly believed in fanciful stuff like that. When he and Ford were kids she used to tell them how she ‘sensed they were fated to bring balance to this world.’ Stan always thought it was one of those confusing adult metaphors then, and years later brushed it aside as empty parental encouragement.

But nevertheless, playing devil’s advocate, what if? What if destiny did play a role in directing people’s actions? What if there was a reason why this amulet ended up in his possession, how it called by name? The amulet’s crystal pulsed blue, and he gripped it ever tighter. He stood at the edge of a precipice, he could sense it. If only he were as clever as his brother, maybe then he’d know how to connect these cogs together.

Ford would join him in a few minutes, though. Best then to begin his walk towards the ship.

He traversed the shore, for once not able to find comfort in the gentle breeze of sea air or the sight of endless ocean horizon his heart ached for. What if something went wrong? What if the amulet wouldn’t work around other people, and Ford thought he was making fun of him? Or what if he snitched on him for stealing it from Dad? With so many negative outcomes to consider, should he risk telling his brother in the first place?

And yet… what would happen if he chose to keep it secret? He’d never kept secrets from his twin before, never. Where Ford went he followed, and vice versa.

It was written in their DNA.

____

I’m nearly finished writing the next chapter for this, excitingly- which will be the twins’ first meeting with Blinky and Aaarrrgghh. Such a fun bunch to write for, haha! Since this is a kinda... niche AU, if you enjoyed this I’d appreciate any comments on AO3 or reblogs you could give as support <3

Thank you for reading my madcap AU nonsense lol

#gravity falls #trollhunters #stanley pines #stanford pines #gravity falls fanfiction #trollhunters fanfiction #gravity falls au #carla mccorkle #filbrick pines #a tale of two trollhunters #my writing stuff

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theskyexists · 3 years

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Revolution of the Daleks

im actually really happy with this, Yaz not being able to let go. Ryan and Graham having practice. i could wish a million things had happened with Ryan (!) and Graham before but this is as good as it’s gonna get from this point

i like the way they’re trying to imitate the Doctor explicitly

‘this is hard, innit?”

‘have you had work done?’ ‘you can talk!’ (that sounded so Nine and Jack!!! hahahaa) edit: it was litearlly Ten and Jack

reference!

DOCTOR AND JACK HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leo......is a very cynical representation of an amoral scientist.

How the hell is Trump-analogue the sane one here lolololol. but he’s dumb enough to leave incinerating the thing to Leo.

what an idiot - opening the casing. im not really into how the narrative is basically like: trump is right about stupid scientists! hah...

the banter between jack and the doctor is so good? imitation of the original product clearly but still GOOD

love how the Doctor instantly goes - i need to go see the fam

she was in space jail for decades (she doesn’t mention the decades)

THAT MOMENT OF MATERIALISATION WAS SO GOOD

noooooooooooooooo OUCH - ouch! YAZ!

‘im sorreh’

SHE DOESN’T MENTION HOW SHE’S BEEN LOCKED IN PRISON FOR FUCKING DECADES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my god Doctor. give them some perspective PLEASE

Jack’s ‘whoops’ is hilarious if you consider his history with teh Doctor

Ryan - god i love Ryan.

Actually didn’t like Graham’s response to Jack. narratively, homophobic

absolutely despise the orange lettering

this episode really goes to show that Chibnall thinks structurally extremely slowly. he picks threads up from ages ago. and then he does do something decent with it. does this mean that the longer he keeps on the better it will get?

i think it’s pretty fuckin hilariously sad though that the companions are once again relegated to couriers - they note that they can’t do stuff on their own (even though the season finale last time gave them ‘Doctor-like’ sequences even if they never managed to impact the story of the Doctor herself - so i guess we’ve gone backwards in this arc) and then they CAN’T do stuff on their own and the Doctor comes in

it’s not the Doctor OR the companions Chibs. and if these companions are just incapable - make that a point! that would be a wonderful contrast to Clara

Woah Jack fuckin infodump

aahahhaa

i do love Yaz’s response. this seems to build up to some final DESERVED - i need to know MORE doctor - now.

‘oh she’s good’ - that’s such a RTD thing to say. chibs just directly copy-pasting a lot here. this is acceptable if he can give it new meaning. inverse meaning

why even drop two people off - whats the Doctor gonna do - nothing?

i actually like the new dalek design very much. oh confront Robertsen? i still can’t get used to the explicit task division set-up - even if this time it was used for characterisation

i - adore. this talk between Jack and Yaz. because it’s Yaz accessing so much shit from the Doctor’s past suddenly. and then it becomes extra clear that Jack’s and the Doctor’s connection was kinda romantic in whatever way - and it’s directly paralleled with Yaz. that romantic tragic attachment - doomed to hurt. (i.e. my fav)

god mandip gill is yeeting this out of the park. I LOVE IT. i love these lines. ‘we’re the lucky ones yaz’ - graham also told her something like this in demons of the punjab.

‘the joy, is worth the pain’ - is it? Jack thinks so - still! my god.that’s so tragic - so beautiful. so much rtd feel here.

jezus chibnall - fuckin sonic gun even???? ‘thanks, that’s it??’ hahahahaha. ok you did good. nobody’s ever impressed at it. LOL DAMN YAZ

‘they’re growing daleks’ - this secondary reveal doesn’t matter bc no reveal would have been a genuine reveal anyway

the new prime minister givin her speech and the doctor explaining daleks should have had snappier editing - specifically the music should not have gone back to simple british empire horns or whatever- but should have had an undertone of dalek in there

really! ALIEN REFERENCES! MY GOD CHIBNALL!!! everybody was thinking it but you did it.... i guess it’s done now. sexual politics wise i’d say Robertsen might have been a much better choice.

guns and explosives will solve everything!!!!!! oh chibnall

i love this lil talk between Ryan and teh Doctor - because it goes to show that the Doctor actually really cared. it would be fitting if they all left now actually lol - that would be nice and dramatic. Jodie is doing great on the acting here - i can FEEL the warning messages in her brains going AAAAAAAAAAA im losing this one!!!!

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Ryan - oh finally - finally this is coming out. calling her out, ‘how do you feel about that’‘ - the counsellor

‘things change, all the time, and they should, cos they have to’ - oh ffffff and ryan inverts things on her. oh i would have loved that if they’d done the extensive groundwork for it. now it just feels like a final death knell - the Doctor paternalised in classic Doctor words by her pseudo-son (but not really bc we never got it for real). couldn’t chibnall have left that for a dude actor ....

i love Jodie’s acting here my GOD. the mouth, the thin lips. The Doctor’s thinking - ah ive lost him - he doesn’t need me at all. ‘always’ this is Ryan’s motif actually. Yaz said the same thing about him.

LOL and Leo reveals himself only when the bombs have been planted and the Doctor’s arrived

lol ok that’s a pretty grisly reveal chibs, BUT would have been cooler if Yaz somehow found out herself and not through villain exposition. Robertsen really is VERY good comic relief here ‘this is a pr disaster’

that was actually a GOOD use of the Doctor going hmmm what’s wrong here and Yaz going well maybe this

ok but because chibnall has such dumb and obvious twists all the time it makes the Doctor always look dumb for slowly stumbling through a self-deprecating explanation. the least authoritative doctor ever my god.... like she could feel the shock to her system coming and that’s why she was born so un-self-assured. hate that shit. not what i wanted

the recon dalek used ultra viiolet light to teleport. lol. but then the Doctor is too late to stop it. hmm a bit uh..........idk conflicted about all the poc getting exterminated at the border...is this irony???

so how is the Dalek electrocuting Leo with nothing but a shitty slime body? also don’t like that. especially because Robertsen is getting away scot free again probably

‘no weapons’ (what about the bombs - couldn’t jack have interjected with knowledge on that shit - before the daleks teleported mysteriously????) ‘no time to think’ - Doctor i thought it was established that you could think at 3000 miles per fraction of a second.

forget it. forget it forget it forget it. chibnall and I will never agree on this. if the Doctor hits rock bottom here - then it better be a companion that picks her back up. nope, she gets back up herself. best job they’ve done so far on that i admit but then they cut immediately to a leisurely discussion as people are getting gunned the fuck down in the streets.

ah, shes inviting the original fleet to destroy these daleks which are ‘corrupted’

why..................did they explain the whole plan before it happened. WHY. OH WHY! is Chibnall so structurally BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!

this would have WORKED as a GOOD twist if he’d made it an actual fucking TWIST. please chibs....let me at the scripts....please....

the stakes are also not well-established because none of the companions said: oh shit but we could barely get rid of ONE, now there’s thousands!

‘they shouldn’t know im here’ *materialises TARDIS right in front of hundreds of Daleks*

this whole scene between the two sets of Daleks would have been great if we hadn’t been spoiled

is................Robertsen gonna pay for his arrogance - ignoring the Doctor? or is the Doctor’s ineffective ‘get back here’ going to be the last we see of this. Betraying the Doctor?

Chibs if you dont make this guy pay i will give up

Ryan stepping up to save Earth. hmmhm.

Jack: w-wait are you okay with this?

Jack she’s been sending these idiots in without supervision for no reason for ages. she just did it with Yaz?? but its a nice era-contrast - even if the meaning is muddled

So i guess Jack’s just got hundreds of bombs on him? at all times?

who the fuck doctors the script

why............did Chibnall regress Graham’s and Ryan’s relationship into awkwardness in their final episode. that’s just plain sad.

inversely, NOW would have been good to know the second plan because then we would have known why the Daleks knowing about the Doctor is bad SPECIFICALLY

‘even if we blow up the ship, theres still SAS daleks marauding through earth’s skies’ she says, like she wasn’t supposed to have a plan to stop them ??????

‘right’ she said, walked off, and then didn’t think of a plan

‘orrr.... you’re gonna have to trust me on this one Yaz’

this is such a TERRIBLE and unsubtle and stupid way to segue into discussing the Doctor’s problems with disappearing

WHY IS CHIBNALL HAVING THEM SAVE ROBERTSEN - fuck this! FUCK THIS!

wow - that’s really shit of the Doctor - just telling a TARDIS to destroy itself completely......

really chibnall.....really you’re gonna let this man get away LIKE THIS. I’m done. i’m done. im sorry but this is not something to just PLAY with. letting a Trump guy get the better of the female Doctor not once, but twice? this makes me so sad. and im done. it’s just insult after insult. he just doesn’t GET it. this is too close to my heart. this is not a GAME. this is supposed to be a fucking POWER FANTASY - and he can’t even fucking make it that. he can’t discuss the problems with power because he can’t even FATHOM the Doctor as a power fantasy in this form. fuck. this.

‘can you believe that’ - ‘yeah i can’

thanks - thanks for this political hopelessness on top of the real shit Chibnall. that’s not what Doctor Who is about - that’s the starting point - not the fucking end state

i know it’s supposed to be related to Ryan and how it’s quite subtly about making the world a better place politically bc it’s going to hell - and Robertsen is definitely coming back because chibnall just does that shit

but

if he wanted to do that he should have had Ryan and Robertsen have a confrontation this episode

a hug. a HUG. my god. so what was the absence of hugs all about then? now im grumpy about THAT. fck

this is good acting, good lines, good normal ending to Graham’s time in the TARDIS, it ties in just a little bit with his family arc. but it’s not particularly coherent - guess that;s life ?

‘it’s ok to be sad’ - cut to black. that was good

so the conclusion is that all they needed to be like the Doctor is a little gadget. this is deeply incoherent but it appeals to me anyway. and i dont really understand how Robertsen features into protecting the planet from aliens then

what is this weird Ryan speech lol. Tosin did incredibly good on making that seem halfway organic.

ok so Grace appearing made me tear up lol

#my stuff #vidi #dw

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briteboy · 7 years

Photo

stealing @bratsims format because i need a less ugly way to mass answer your messages which will hopefully motivate me to stay on top of this! at least i can say i tried

so if you sent me an anon message in the past...idk MONTH (i’m bad i know) it might be here. (older ones are near the bottom) if not, check my faq because it’s probably answered there. (and if you’re the person/people who sent the twin flame & 7th house asks, i plan to answer those separately because i have a LOT to say. get ready)

game of thrones, nuclear war, real life santis, lou theories, i’m evil, HERE WE GO!! i literally had to cut it off at the last one because it was just too much for now. i’ll try to answer some more later ok

we’re starting off on a great note

Anonymous said: gaddamn rooney's tiddies lookin' hella ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

STOP!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S MY CHILD soaidfnjds she’s supposed to have like b/c cups (goals for me tbh, the big boob life is not fun) and sims 4 pregnancies just fuckin make them...NYOOM i’m mad you can’t edit sims’ bodies during pregnancy even with cas.fulleditmode on -___- so i let her live with her giant preggo tiddies for now

Ngl I want a kiss between Santi and Gianni (I'm sorry I'm literally trash)

then i’m here to satisfy your desires: they do kiss periodically because gianni is one of those people who’s like “why shouldn’t you kiss your friends?” free love 4 everyone

IM SCREAING AT UR YOUTUBE CHANNEL OK!!!! I LOVEEE IT, WOW

DON’T IT’S UGLY EXCEPT FOR LIKE TWO VIDEOS

hey this is kinda random but i thought joe seaward from glass animals looked kinda like santi? he has quite a weird face too lmao

oMG i actually love that, i know what you mean. that dude reminds me of a bull terrier lmao i actually saw glass animals like two weeks ago!! i didn’t really get a good look at the drummer but now i wish i did. missed connection

i just finished reading santi's story and ugh it almost had me in tears! beautiful, your story telling skills and editing skills are perfection!

ahhhhsdkgkds thank you so much ;____; that means the world to me <333

Unpopular opinion: im so done with game of thrones tbh. It's not even good anymore :/ I liked the first season but since then i've skipped through episodes because they are just sooo fucking boring and dragged out!

see like the first three seasons were pretty good because they stayed true to the books. (actually that’s a lie, littlefinger’s chaos speech in the s3 finale was real fuckin bad because guess what: it was original material LMAO) the fourth season was where it started to get messy and then the fifth season was a fucking shitshow because they completely IGNORED the fourth book and cherrypicked all the “good” parts out of it (read: the most action-y parts, while ignoring all the most important pieces of character development) and they botched the dorne storyline, oh and who could forget the iconic moment of throwing in a rape (THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS) just for fun :) love it! but anyway if you think the show is boring i probably wouldn’t recommend the books, they’re even slower getting through them lmao. but it’s worth it in my opinion. there’s so much they don’t include in the show and it makes me Angery

Okay, game of thrones fan here, I haven't read the books (yet at least, I bought book 1) but I feel like dany is going to practically turn into her father, this season she is already showing traits like his.......

OH YEAH i definitely feel like they’re moving in that direction in the process of revealing jon as the “true” king of westeros and it’s so bad lmfao. the thing is, like...cersei is already mad king 2.0? why do we need another one?????? the entire point of dany’s arc is that she’s constantly trying to deviate AWAY from the way her father ruled, demonstrated by the fact that she freed the slaves (whereas all the targaryens before were slave owners), the fact that she’s not perpetuating the whole incest thing (LMAO GUESS AGAIN BECAUSE JONERYS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR SOME FCKING REASON), the fact that she has dragons which haven’t existed in how many years...like, if she ever ends up being like her father in the books, it’s NOT gonna fucking happen like this. but i don’t think she will anyway, george rr martin has been pretty clear about her trajectory thus far. anyway this show is so ugly, next question

rooney's eye are so BIG

just like her tiddies lmao i kno sometimes i forget how big they are and then she does one of those silly endearing animations and i’m like o ;-; hello big dumb baby cow eyes

Cows? Are you secretly Matthew Daddario?

WHO i had to google him lmao i was about to say “oh the teen wolf guy” but jk @ myself u idiot it’s shadowhunters damn i literally googled “matthew daddario cows” and

tru

I love how fragile Lou looks like but the truth is that she is strong af and you can't play with her bruh

SHE IS ;-; and that’s a huge theme in her story, i’m excited <3

ima leave ur blog and come bk and spam you so you will finally notice me

im part of this online forum of girls that talks about our period and weather or not one of us might be pregnant and once this girl posted saying that her husband invited his mom without telling her to thier honeymoon and she didnt find out until they arrived at the hotel and she was already there. the most recent part reminded me of it. but long story short, her dad moved all her stuff out of his house and her friend came to pick her up and they got a divorce.

OISOJDFAKNLJSD WHAT!!! i’m guessing you sent this because of that thing i said about the reddit post lmfaooo imagine your mom on your honeymoon. why. that’s soooooooooo good 4 her u know. u don’t need to be married to his mom as well

thanks 4 trusting my love santi. he's beautiful

thank u he thinks ur beautiful too 💘

do you have any tips for runing game in good quality and fast?

euhhhhh the only tips i have for you are to merge your cc, close all other programs while you play your game, maybe invest in a cooling pad uhhhhhh yeah idk any other tips you can probably find on google

You told that thing about unfollowing people and I thought you unfollowed me, but then I checked and you didn't and I'm crying omg

lmao omg ;-; i literally cut my following list in half, it was so chaotic and it was making me anxious. so if ever unfollow any of you please don’t take it personally (i know it’s a stupid thing to say, and it’s a lot easier said than done) it’s just my brain explodes when there’s too much going on at once and some content blends into others, i’m trying to only follow people who i’m genuinely interested in enough to keep up with their posts from now on

I haven't been able to sleep in over 72 hours thanks to the constant fear over the looming world war. I'm fine. Completely fine

Oh shit, have you noticed that the media has been putting out more 'what to do during a nuclear attack' kinda articles? This world is slowly going to shit, for real. I'm not even near any of the danger really, but it still absolutely terrifies me to see all of that bc it could very well go wrong and hit my place as well yknow? I have no idea why i send this to you but you seem chill and calm so thanks for reading my freakout askfjsls

YEP it’s pretty terrifying. but at the same time don’t let fear overwhelm you, fearmongering is an ugly, ugly thing and you don’t want to live your life constantly worrying. so just prepare yourself for what might come, but at the same time, just spend as much time with your loved ones as you can, do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, and then if it doesn’t turn out as bad as we thought it would, you *tim mcgraw voice* lived like u were dyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyin’

@ Jesus anon: I really don't think it's the right time to complain about "using the lord name in vain" when there are people terrified of leaving their homes bc they are afraid to get killed (aka that poor, poor Jewish anon in charlottesville)

yeah idk like i want to respect everyone but it seemed to be in poor taste to bring that up at a time like that lmao. and also i’ve literally never in my entire life met someone who actually takes “don’t say the lord’s name in vain” seriously.

I asked about the poses and HOLY CRAP THANK YOU SO MUCH! I finally have good poses to use for story telling. Thank you soo so so so sooooo much!

YAY i’m glad you found some good stuff <3 and honestly just going through lana’s blog you’ll find a ton of good poses, it’s a gold mine

Idk how much tv you watch, but have you've ever come across a tv show that used music from The Sim? Because once in a while I'll hear Sims 3 build/buy music on some random show and I'll get a lil shook because I find it so weird that the generic music they're using comes from a major game title.

OMG LMAO NO what i wish i’d come across that tho. one time i used sims 1 music in a video i made for school and someone recognized it

I love your stories gosh I check your page "it's everyday bro with femmesim flow" Lol sorry for that awkward Jake Paul "poop" ❤️

lmao thank u i had no idea who jake paul was until my friends started talking about him

yo, I also remember once in french class real life santi asked me what videos games I like to play. When I told him the sims, he looked at me for a while and shaked his head. He was like, "why do you want to watch your sims use the toilet?"

WHY DO YOU WANT TO WATCH YOUR SIMS USE THE TOILET SAME that’s all i care about when i play

that rooney face in the 5 facts is so iconic, its my fave picture of her. You should blow it up and frame it

i should tbh. i should print it out and put it in my wallet to show everyone because she is my child

sorry the bother you, merging cc makes your game smoother? can you explain to me please?

boop

hi i love you ♡ pass it on

I LOVE U

Can I say that hearing a MacBooks fans screaming for dear life as they try to cool down when playing the sims has actually started to haunt my nightmares

SAME my macbook is actually doing it right now for no reason. thanks laptop

Maybe Santi should go to therapy to talk out his issues.

maybe he should 🤔 but tbh he’s already talked out everything, there’s nothing really more to talk out. he just has to cope with it. he’s treated lou like his therapist thus far and that’s not okay

i love ur story and omg i totally get where lou is coming from with being tired of being compared to molly by santi, thatd hurt so much esp with how much she cares about him

thank youuu ;-; i’m glad you understand, this was a part i’d wanted to get out for a loooong time now, and i know you guys were always like “um why does she put up with this” lmao. she just loves him, that’s why. but you’re right, it does hurt.

My theory is very similar to the other anons in that Fiona's dad/Lou's ex had a mental illness (schizophrenia, depression, what have you) but he actually did kill himself and that's why she's not completely losing it on Santi because I feel like most people in that situation would have not handled it as well as Lou did

🤔 you’re right about the last part, and there’s a reason she has so much patience, das all i’m sayin

i started your story from the beginning last night and i am in awe. Its amazing. It inspired me to put a little more effort in learning to edit and write. It was like reading screen caps from a movie! I didn't want to stop reading. Anyway thing was a super sappy ask, but i appreciate your stuff. And i'm bad at putting my thoughts into words.

omg ;__________; when people tell me i inspired them it means the most to me, my brain just can’t process it lmao. so thank you so so much ;-; <333 THE MOVIE THING ESPECIALLY GOT ME IN THE HEART because i feel like that’s my aesthetic with most things i create because i’m such a film person lol. don’t worry i love super sappy, and you did a good job of wording everything because it got me right in the feels <33

Okay I've been snickering for about 43 minutes bc SANTI GOT THAT GRU CHINNN

WOT is that i googled it and the only thing that came up was the dad from despicable me lmfaosdkjfs but ok

Please, please do punk edits of your some of your characters! I'd die.

WHAT DOES THIS MEANNN do you mean like. those 2010 tumblr edits of punk disney characters and then the joker from suicide squad looked like one of them. do u want santi to be the joker. because my boyfriend already relates him to suicide squad joker because of his face tatt lmao

You love to make me cry

i do i’m sorry. if it makes you feel any better i love to make myself cry too. but my biceps grow stronger with every tear

I reeeally dont think those chancla comments were offensive??? Why would they be?? I'm hispanic (born and raised in the sunny Dominican Republic, received a fair amount of chancletazos myself) and I laughed out loud when i read them 😂😂

I JUST WANT U TO KNOW I SHOWED @ichosim THIS MESSAGE AND SHE LAUGHED FOR 12 HOURS AT “CHANCLETAZOS”

whATT my little brothers name is santiago n we call him santi for short!! guess it's not rly that uncommon but we live in a small country and he's also 4 so like,, no other santiagos!! idk why im saying this its completely irrelevant just kinda surprised me :'))

OMG wow hell yeah another real life santi...santi acts like a 4 yr old so he might as well be your brother

Just curious.. Do you play sims or just use it for storytelling? Sorry if thats weird haha

well my recent gameplay pics should answer your question lmao. i do like to play but i don’t have enough time to both play and pose scenes so i mostly just pose scenes for now. :[ i am gonna be off work for like two weeks tho so hell yeah gameplay here i come!!

I'm starting a Fiona appreciation movement because she is the real star of santis story RT and i love her and she is way underappreciated and I love her KThxBi

SHE IS THE REAL STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve said this before but santi’s relationship with her is the most important to me, out of every relationship he has in this story. i’m so glad you love her so much, sorry about what’s about to come in the next few scenes tho

Oh my heart, Santi is alive, god exist

I have a pretty hard time understanding Santi's story mostly because I'm not English but I'm sure I'll figure it out:)

ahh oh no D: i’m sorry i wish i spoke every language in the world lmao. if you want, you can message me off anon and i’ll help you understand it!!

Lou is an angel honestly

“there are worse things than seeing an angel before you die”

what tablet do you use? or how do you draw hair? it looks so pretty.

omg haha i don’t have one! i wish i did tho. all of the brushes i got from deviantart, i’m trying to find the specific ones but they’re all elusive wtf. i’ll post them when i find them! for now, here’s a good guide to drawing hair, by airi <3

Nah nah I always knew you'd save him.....eheheeh.....THANK YOU FOR NOT KILLING BABBY SANTEEEEEEEEE DNDDNSKANW YOU WOULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BLOOD ON UR HANDS AS ALL UR FOLLOWERS COLLECTIVELY DIE FROM A BROKEN HEART BUT DW WE DIDNT BECAUSE UR QN ANGEL....but I toooootally knew you'd save him... /sweats/

I’M GLAD U HAD FAITH <3 i know omfg i would’ve expected a mob at my house if i’d actually killed him. if i ever killed him i would just lay down somewhere and die. that’s it for me

Lou & molly almost always have teeth showing, do you draw them on each pic?x

no, only sometimes i’ve drawn them when i felt like their mouths weren’t matching the expression i wanted. but most of the time it’s just the pose.

is it too late to send 16k dollars to guarantee santi's inclusion in a loving home with loving friends

it is absolutely never too late to send me 16k i promise you that

I just bought school books for $550 who knew studying marine biology could be so fuckING EXPENSIVE

EWW WTF...i’ve been lucky and haven’t had to spend a ton on books in my college career (one time i even went to such lengths that i got access to free trial version of one of my school books in a pdf, screencapped EVERY SINGLE PAGE, which was more than 400 pages, just so i wouldn’t have to spend $70 on it. i love cheating the system)

waIT i never saw ur selfie where is it, must see

u could probably just search “selfie” on my blog and find it, or enjoy the ugly closeup drunk snap i posted last night

Hey guys I'm a happy trans man that has no mental illnesses. I'm fucking pissed about Trump's ban. And to any one that says it's logical FUCK YOU! I'm having flashbacks to don't ask, don't tell because this is the same fucking wacked up logic. I'm so angry, like I'm a human, yes I may require testosterone shots once a month but that's it, I even administer them to myself. I pay for them with my own god damn money so fuck you transphobic bigots who say this law is fair. It's not. WE ARE HUMAN TOO Also same anon that ranted. Sorry about that I'm just really pissed and I love and thank you for sticking up for the community. We love you and I love you. And you're right not all trans people transition. We all do what we want to. Some start on T or E and have the full surgery. Some just have top surgery. Some just do testosterone or estrogen. Some never do anything. We're all still trans and we're all valid.

YES ALL OF THIS, sorry i didn’t answer this when it was all happening. but askdkjfas thank you for this message, I LOVE YOU TOO, SO MUCH <333 and i’m glad you feel comfortable enough to voice this in my inbox. yes every trans person is valid no matter what they decide to do with their bodies <3

One of those old hot topic shirts that said " if Darryl dies we riot " but with santi instead of Darryl.

OMG LMAOOOOO NOW THAT’S A CONCEPT who’s making these i want one

your use of references and reaction pics and gifs fucken KILLS ME

Crystal anon here. I googled around my area to find there are none of those y'know, crystal, candle, incense, magic type shops. I have panic attacks when I go outside and I wanted to look into alternative stuff since I'm on meds and w/e. I wanted to know if you or friends had any experience or recommendations for buying crystals online like on etsy or amazon. How can you tell if they're real?x

ooooh ok. usually there are shops like those in cities or even in towns with like kitschy little promenades with independent shops. (i know there’s one around the town over from mine, which is so random lmao) i do have friends that have crystals but i think they mostly just collect them for the ~good vibez~ and don’t really look too far into the healing aspects of them. i would say first go with the one that coincides with your birth because those are the ones that are like specifically catered to you and strengthen your being. as for buying online, hmmmmm i mean i don’t really know any specific trustworthy sellers because i don’t have much experience with this, but definitely read the reviews! those will help you a lot <3

Hello could you please tell us how you edited the pic of rooney in that one post that the anon asked for the unedited version?

i honestly didn’t do much of anything that differs from my usual editing process! i made her eyes a bit bigger by using the clone tool, cloning the top of her eye and applying it a little bit farther up...if that makes sense. it’s hard to explain how to use that tool lmao. and i think i used the liquify tool to bring part of her eyebrow down to look more worried.

there's still a part of me that says she ain't dead and molly is just in a coma lmao end mE

OMFLDKGKJS yeah she’s not dead surprise. i WILL say there is still flashback stuff that will be revealed. well not “revealed” like molly’s death was revealed, like i just still have to showcase some things that happened afterward. because it doesn’t just end with molly’s death, there’s stuff after that as well :~}

I'm Mexican, have lived around Mexicans, have been to Mexico multiple times growing up, just came back from a family trip at practically the border between Mexico and Guatemala and never in my life have I ever heard the word "joder" i had to look it up xD (not hating or anything I just thought I'd mention it cuz I found it funny...lol) k bye...

OK NOT SURE IF the ppl you’ve been around just don’t curse or whatever but...joder is DEFINITELY something i’ve heard mexican people say before lmao

Okay so this is random, but i was telling my sister the name of one your characters in ur story (santi) and she kinda just starts singing his name, and she said "santi high, santi low, santi go." And im just sitting there, like woah.

LMFAO WHATKNJDSKJGD “woah” same

u gonna incorporate fis hat into a really like emotional sad thing in her story huh

oMG i wasn’t planning on it but hmm 🤔

Why no el chingo? NO ME GUSTA (I'm joking btw ily)

LMFAOOOO because i didn’t wanna have to defile my son by downloading the penis mod RIP

let santi grow out dem eyebrows 2kforever

omg he does let them grow out except for the little line he shaved in when he was 14 that never grew back RIP

in ur bio it says "kt" and i know why,, it means killing them as in killing off ur characters slowly i see u gurl

i bet this story was just an excuse for you to see the world burn. well done.

OMG i mean, that was definitely one of the side effects of it all. but really it was just that i NEEDED to get this story out after it had lived in my brain for so long.

ur dead 2 me

I... just.... can't... too much pain Y U DO DIS 2 UZ?!?!!!

#anonymous #nonsims #saviorhide #sunny answers

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pengychan · 7 years

Text

Te Rerenga Wairua - Ch. 5

Title: Te Rerenga Wairua Summary: Found by the gods drifting at sea, Maui always assumed he had been thrown in it to drown. When that assumption is challenged, there is only one way to find closure: speaking to his long-departed family. But it’s never a smooth sail to the Underworld, and he’ll need help from a friend - plus a token that fell in the claws of an old enemy long ago. Characters: Maui, Moana, Tamatoa Rating: K Prologue and links to all chapters up so far here.

“Hey. Everything okay?”

“Hu-uh.”

“You sure? You look kinda distracted. Didn’t even hit that Megalodon like you meant it, you know? Left all the hard work to me. I mean, I could handle it, so no worries! Got a cool tooth out of it. Not shiny, so no problem if I keep this one, right?”

A shrug, and no real answer. Maui frowned, then walked up to Tamatoa. He was resting at the very edge of a ravine, one of the many in Lalotai, but it was clear he wasn’t paying any actual attention to whatever was below. Maui sat next to him, letting his legs dangle into the abyss. He stayed silent for a few moments, kicking his legs. A piece of rock fell down into the darkness, making no noise as though it never reached any bottom at all.

“… You were thinking we would find someone of your same species, right?”

Tamatoa let out a small grunt, and for a moment it looked like he wouldn’t add anything. Then he did, idly scratching his chin with a claw. “I guess,” he finally said. “I mean, Gran went on and on about this place, you know? How this is where we were supposed to be, how we’d be coming back when I got big enough to fend for myself, and so on. So I just assumed there would be more of us here.”

More of you. Because she’s gone and now it’s starting to look like you’re the last.

“Yeah,” Maui said slowly. “I can see why you’d think–”

“And you assumed I was from Lalotai when we met,” Tamatoa went on, now turning to look at him. “You said you’d seen others like me here.”

He had, but only few times; Tamatoa’s kind had been rare already when Maui had been a boy and first went to Lalotai. Even rarer after he left it, as a couple of them had tried to turn him into their dinner and hadn’t lived to see the next day, but saying as much suddenly seemed a rather bad idea, so Maui kept that detail for himself.

“Not many, really,” he admitted. “The numbers had been falling for a long time. There were probably few left by the time you were born,” he said, and shot another glance upwards. Tamatoa was still staring into the dark; he didn’t look saddened, not really, but he was uncharacteristically expressionless and his antennae were limp. Maui knew that meant he wasn’t very happy, either. He sighed, and reached up to rub his neck.

“I should have taken you here sooner,” he finally said. Sure, he’d offered to do so before, but only as an off-hand mention until that day. If he’d seriously brought it up, say, a thousand years earlier, would they have found someone of his species still alive? “I didn’t think… I mean, you seemed pretty happy on your own. Never thought it would be important for you to meet someone else from your species. If I’d known–”

But I should have known, he thought. I should have known because it was the same reason why I wanted to return among men, wasn’t it? Because godly powers and all, I still felt I was one of them. I wanted to be.

Unaware of Maui’s thoughts, Tamatoa blinked and turned to look at him. For a moment, he seemed almost confused. “I am pretty happy on my own,” he said, then paused, as though going over the statement in his head a second time. “… Yep. I like my island and I’ve got my treasure there. Never really needed to come back here, you know? Would have been nice to meet someone else like me, but…” a pause, then he shrugged. “Whatever. I’ll live. Plus, we’re not that sure I’m the last, right? There might be a few more somewhere else. The ocean is pretty big. If I grew up away from here, then maybe someone else did too.”

It seemed unlikely to Maui, but it was still within the realms of possibility, and he nodded, reaching to give Tamatoa’s side a punch. “Oh, yes. Maybe a female, who knows? So that you can settle down, and become her fix of protein as soon as she has a clutch of eggs to look after.”

Tamatoa made a face. “Oh. right. That part.”

“I mean, not all of them do that, you know? Some wait until the eggs have hatched, so the dad gets to take a look at his brood before becoming her breakfast as well as their first mea–”

“I think I got the gist of it, thanks.”

Maui laughed. “Why so squeamish now? Pretty sure you said you ate your ma and grandma.”

“They were already dead, thank you so very much.”

“If I didn’t know you, I’d almost say you don’t like the idea of being killed to feed your brood.”

“Well, duh,” Tamatoa muttered, then shrugged again. “At least now I see why my species is mostly gone, though. No one with half a brain would want to breed at these conditions. Only idiots who beget more idiots who’ll probably die some dumb way very quickly.”

Maui raised an eyebrow. “… Wouldn’t that make you an idiot?”

Tamatoa shook his head. “Nope. I got Ma’s brains,” he said, and grinned. “I mean that literally. I ate–”

“All right, all right! Enough!” Maui cut him off, and Tamatoa laughed.

“Look who’s being squeamish now,” he sneered. Maui was about to retort when he heard something coming from the darkness below them. He peered in and realization as to what it was - claws scraping against stone as something climbed up on the almost vertical wall - hit him just one instant too late. He stood with a warning cry, but before he could lift his hook something emerged from the darkness with a roar, a huge mouth wide open to show razor-sharp, gleaming fangs.

Had he had a few more instants before impact, Maui would have realized said mouth and fangs belonged to a huge lizard with scales red as blood. But he was given no more time before the being slammed against him, knocking the hook off his hand, and tried to swallow him.

Tried to, because the moment it tried to bite down Maui reached up with both hands and caught the roof of the beast’s mouth, causing it to growl - gods, did that guy’s breath stink - and try with all his might to bite down harder. The power in that maw would have annihilated any mortal, but of course he was no mortal; he had lifted up the sky, so of course he could hold up a some monster’s mouth open.

Except that it was really strong. Except that the roof of that mouth was so slippery. Except that if he lost his grip, even for a second, if his hands slipped–

“Hey!”

Tamatoa’s voice reached Maui’s ears only one moment before a loud thud, and the next instant it was as though all air had been knocked out of the monster in a gust of fetid wind that blew Maui out of its maw. He landed on the stone floor, immediately flipped in a crouch, and looked up - trying to ignore the disgusting slickness of saliva on his skin and gods, it was in his hair - to see that the thing who’d tried to eat him was a giant, red lizard. And that said lizard was currently snapping and thrashing, clearly furious, under the weight of a certain giant crab.

“Hey! A little help?” Tamatoa called out, trying to keep the lizard pinned down with his claws, the sharp teeth and claws leaving scratches on his carapace.

Maui grinned, and reached for his hook, which had fallen nearby.

Not a bad save, buddy. Not bad at all.

“Help coming up,” he called out, and his hand closed on the hook’s handle.

***

“… And that’s how I saved his life.”

“You did not.”

“It does sound like he saved your life…” Moana said slowly, and shrugged apologetically at Maui’s accusing glance. She didn’t see the smug look Tamatoa gave Maui from behind her, but she had no doubt that was precisely what he was doing, because Maui glowered at him before crossing his arms.

“I had everything perfectly under control.”

“Sure. Until your arms got tired, and then…”

“I could have snapped that lizard in two with both hands tied behind my ba–”

“No you couldn’t!”

Moana winced, because that raspy voice didn’t belong to either Maui and Tamatoa. She turned suddenly, hair whipping the air and hand reaching for her oar. Emerging from the water, illuminated by nothing but the moonlight, was something massive and scaly. Yellow eyes gleamed as though giving out a light of their own. It was the head of a… a…

… Really now?

“What are you doing here?” Tamatoa snapped, turning to face the newcomer just as Maui grabbed the fishhook. “I mean, I do agree that he couldn’t have gotten out of it in his own - that’s what I said - but–”

“Pilifeai,” Maui snarled, cutting him off. “Why did you follow us?”

The huge lizard shrugged, or at last that was what Moana judged it had just done. With all of its body underwater it was hard to tell, although every movement caused ripples. “I didn’t. I was just having a swim here.”

Maui raised an eyebrow and exchanged a glance with Tamatoa. “Oooh, sure. Heard that? He was just passing by.”

“Of course. And I’m a red lobster,” Tamatoa snorted. He snapped his claws. “You know, I think I’m going to cut off that forked tongue this time around. Pretty sure you called me a bottom-feeder last time…”

“Fine, fine,” the giant lizard - Pilifeai, wasn’t that how Maui had called him? - conceded, taking a few steps back into the sea. “Maybe I was following you.”

“What for? I’m pretty sure you said something on how you knew better than getting involved in anything we’re up to,” Maui pointed out.

“I do. So I’m not getting involved. Just watching to find out who’s going to kill the other first.”

Maui blinked. “… Seriously?”

“Yes. You’ve been a bore so far, if I may add. I’d have expected the crab here to have lost at least another limb by now.”

“Hey!” Tamatoa protested, while Maui shrugged.

“You can blame her. She told me not to.”

“Maui!” Moana and Tamatoa snapped precisely at the same time. The lizard’s eyes paused on Moana for the first time since the surreal exchange had started.

“Oh. I didn’t introduce myself, did I? I am Pilifeai. And you’re the human who kicked the crustacean on his back, aren’t you? Leaving him all alone and powerless when his treasure was stolen…”

Tamatoa scowled, and Moana barely held back a groan. Oh, great, that was just what she needed the giant monster crab to be reminded of, just to make all of her efforts to be pleasant for nothing. “Actually, it was a geyser that knocked him back and–” she began, only to pause when she noticed a flash of white in the redness of Pilifeai’s scales - a grin. Realization hit her suddenly, and it was her turn to scowl. “Wait a moment. Are you trying to pit us against each other right now?”

Pilifeai sighed in clear disappointment. “Well, I’ll be. The human is smarter than both of– ow!” he trailed off with a yelp when the coconut Moana had thrown hit him between the eyes. “Seriously?”

“Scram.”

“I don’t take orders from a huma–”

Maui lifted his hook. Tamatoa snapped a claw shut. Pilifeai’s gaze moved between them for a few moments before he cleared his throat. “As I was saying, I don’t usually listen to humans…”

Moana smiled so widely that her cheeks hurt. “But you’ll make an exception this time.”

“Absolutely.”

“And you won’t follow us any further,” Maui warned. “Or you’ll be sorry.”

“Of course,” the giant lizard said quickly, and backed away; within moments, his head had disappeared under the water. A few moments of silence followed.

“… He’ll keep following us,” Tamatoa finally said, and Maui sighed.

“I’m ready to bet he will.”

Moana didn’t like the thought. Even though the lizard seemed to fear Maui and Tamatoa, at least together, he was huge enough to destroy her boat with extreme ease.

“Don’t worry about him, babe,” Tamatoa said, causing her to recoil. She hadn’t thought her worry had showed so clearly on her face, and most of all she hadn’t expected Tamatoa to pay any mind to her expression. “He’s not going to try anything with me upright and Mr. Mighty over here. I’d be more worried about the pig and the chicken if I were you. They’re not supposed to be doing that, are they?”

Moana turned to see both Heihei and Pua were hiding their head under the sand, and likely had been since first spotting Pilifeai. For Heihei, it was not unusual. For Pua… it was. With a sigh, she went to take the shaking piglet in her arms. “You really should have stayed home with mom and dad,” she sighed, letting him hide hide snout against the side of her neck.

“Yeah, about that,” Maui muttered. “I’ve kinda come to the conclusion your chicken is actually immortal, but I’m not so sure about the pig. Might be best to leave them behind with your boat a bit before we reach the Vault. There’s a small island just nearby, but far enough to be safe. We’ll pick them up on the way back.”

Moana blinked. “Wait. Why should I leave my boat there?”

“Because you don’t want to leave your anything unattended at the Vault,” Tamatoa filled her in. “They’re going to steal it from you the moment you blink. And believe me, it hurts when they steal from you,” he added before pouting. Moana kind of wished he’d stop doing that, but she did her best to give him what she hoped would come across as a sympathetic smile.

“Of course. So… who are they, anyway?”

Maui shrugged. “Monsters. Supernatural beings. Supernatural pirates. Sentients entities. A bit of this, a bit of that. The Vault is kind of a trading place for all kinds of guys.”

“All of them bigger than you, babe.”

“Thanks for pointing that out.”

“Anytime!”

“… Anyway. You think the beings who took his treasure have been or will be there to trade?”

“If they have half a brain, yes. They know Crabcake knows every piece of his collection. They wouldn’t want to be ever caught by him with the stolen goods.”

“Not unless they want to become a snack,” Tamatoa huffed, but Moana ignored him.

“Good point. So, how am I supposed to get to the Vault if I leave my boat elsewhere?”

“I’ll carry you,” Maui said, and Moana couldn’t hold back a shudder when realization sank in.

“We’re not going to fly, are we?”

Maui grinned.

***

The Vault, which Moana had imagined as an island, turned out to be something quite different. From up in the air, when she dared uncover her eyes, she could tell it had once been a volcano that must have sank into the sea long ago, forming a ring of stone not unlike the one around Te Fiti. But, in this case, there was no island in the middle: only seawater where the crater must have once been.

And, according to Maui, the Vault was right beneath the surface.

With a screech, Maui dove down towards the rocks, talons clenching harder around Moana’s arms. She had a few seconds to regret everything - most notably, not trying to swim to the place as opposed to accepting Maui’s quite literal ‘lift’ - and clench her eyes shut before Maui let out another cry and changed. The talons holding her up disappeared, but before she could scream or even open her eyes Maui’s arm was around her waist, and when the impact came it wasn’t her to take it.

“Aaand landed! It was fun, c’mon! Just admit you’re starting to love it!”

Moana opened her eyes to see the ground beneath her. Maui was back to his human form, standing on the rocks she was so sure they’d smash into only moments before, holding her under his arm.

“Put me down,” she croaked. Maui laughed, and was gracious enough to actually put her down on her feet as opposed to just dropping her. Not enough to keep himself from snickering when she leaned against a rock, legs shaking.

“You’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

“I really don’t think so. I’ll swim on our way back.”

Maui opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by a sound of splashing water telling both of them that something - someone - really big was coming out. Moana looked up to see Tamatoa emerging from the water, still chewing what she supposed had to be fish. Maui crossed his arms.

“I see you found the time to have breakfast while we waited.”

Tamatoa glared back at him, but made a point not to reply until he was done chewing and swallowing. Moana was kinda grateful for that. “Don’t even start,” he finally said. “You just got here.”

“And how would you know that?”

“The human is still green in the face.”

Maui paused, and turned to look at her. He stared for a moment, then he sighed. “Point taken,” he conceded. Mini Maui marked one point for Tamatoa, something the giant crab didn’t seem to notice.

“Can you walk, babe?”

Moana did her best to smile. “I’ll be okay,” she said, leaning on the rock in a way she hoped would look casual. But at least her head wasn’t spinning too much anymore. Tamatoa didn’t bother to enquire further either way, and nodded.

“Great. So, what now? We go barging in and grab all we can? ‘Cause I’d be down for that.”

“As much as I like the idea, no,” Maui said. “We can’t just barge in and take what we can. The guys in there would definitely fight back, and your said the hairpin we’re after is fragile. I can’t risk it being turned to dust.”

Tamatoa opened his mouth as thought to say something, but paused as though a sudden thought occurred to him, and eventually shrugged. “Fine. What are we going to do then?”

“I think it would be best to be inconspicuous for now. We’ll get in there without anyone noticing us and–”

“Right, right,” Tamatoa muttered, cutting him off. “Let’s get going.”

Maui glanced at Moana. Moana glanced back at Maui. They both turned to look at Tamatoa.

“… Crabcake?”

“Yes?”

“You’re waiting for us here.”

Tamatoa blinked, clearly taken aback. “What? No way! There’s treasure in there and I’m not going to stay out! Why should I?”

“Because we need to be - wait for it - inconspicuous.”

Tamatoa blinked again.

“… We need to go unnoticed?” Maui tried again.

A scowl. “I know! I heard you the first time,” he protested, causing Maui to sigh.

“All right, Crabby. Do you think you’re inconspicuous?”

Tamatoa opened his mouth, lifting a claw, then he paused and closed his mouth again. He looked down at himself, then his eyes shifted to Moana as though looking for a suggestion. She looked back at him - all fifty feet of him - and shook her head in silence. That caused the giant crab to frown.

“Aw, c’mon! I’m not even shiny anymore!”

“You’re still… rather noticeable?” Moana dared to say, and Tamatoa seemed to lighten up.

“Oooh, right! I still have some shinies! I can taken them off and–”

Oh, for Te Fiti’s sake. “You do realize you’re a fifty feet tall giant crab, right?” she blurted out, causing his claw to pause in the air. “You’re impossible to miss, shiny or not!”

Beside her, Maui shrugged. “What she said. Plus, they’ll know it’s you. It’s not like there are others. And you’ve raided this place plenty of times in the past, haven’t you?”

“Naaaah! It’s just been… five or six… dozen… times,” Tamatoa replied, his voice getting a bit weaker with each word.

Maui raised both eyebrows. “I rest my case,” he said. On his chest, Mini Maui marked two points for him. “If you show up there, they’re going to recognize your ugly mug in a heartbeat.”

“HEY! Who are you calling ugly?”

“You. Not shiny anymore, remember? ”

“Oh. Right. I mean– Human! Tell him to stop!”

Moana groaned, a hand pressing against her forehead. “Maui. Please,” she gritted out, fervently wishing she’d brought some fermented coconut milk along.

He chuckled. “Fine, fine. Anyway, you were doing one thing right, Crabcake. Get some of that stuff off your shell and hand it over. We’re going to need it.”

Tamatoa reared back as though struck. “What? No! Why?”

“Use what little brain you’ve got! We’re supposed to pretend we’re there to trade. Can’t really do that if we show up empty-handed, can we?”

“But–!”

“We’ll bring everything back,” Moana promised. “Plus some, if we can.”

Tamatoa crossed his claws. “You must. Your promised you would help me get my treasure back, and you’ve got to deliver! If you just come back with a bunch of hairpins for me to check out, I’ll… huh.”

“You’ll huh us? So scary,” Maui scoffed. “What is it, are you taking a break to think up some original threat, or–”

“All that fog wasn’t there before, was it?”

“… Huh?”

Both Maui and Moana turned to see that… well, he was right. A fog bank was moving in towards them from the open sea; it was still quite some distance away, but the fact alone it hadn’t been visible minutes before showed just how quickly it was moving. In such an otherwise clear day, it seemed to have come out of nowhere… and the sound of drums in the distance told them precisely what was hidden in it.

“Kakamora,” Maui hissed.

“Huh,” Moana said.

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Tamatoa pointed out.

“But… didn’t we sort of destroy their ship? Ships? However you call that thing?”

“Don’t underestimate how quickly they can repair things. They’re resourceful little thorns in the side.”

“They must be heading to the Vault, too,” Tamatoa mused. “Which means…” he paused, and his face lit up in a grin. He looked down, and Moana realized Maui was looking up, matching it with a grin of his own. For one moment, it was as though she just got a glimpse at how things were between them a long time before.

“They’ve got to be loaded with treasure.”

“Your weight in gold that some of it is my treasure,” Tamatoa said, sounding all the world like an excited child. “Those sneaky little creeps hadn’t left Lalotai in forever and the Kakamora have a knack for finding valuables - I bet at least some of them were robbed blind as soon as they were out!”

“Yeah, if anyone could pull that off, it’s the coconut heads over there,” Maui agreed. “All right, new plan. Let’s take on them first. I’ll make them use up a few weapons.”

“Wait, wouldn’t it be best to have a real pla–”

“CHEE-HOO!”

Moana sighed, and just watched Maui’s hawk form fly towards the fog, and towards the dark outline of the huge ship - or ships, whatever she was supposed to call that trap on water. “All right then. No plan.”

To be fair, Maui didn’t seem to have any problem at first: he flew in and out of the mist, screeching, and avoiding everything - spears, darts, rounded projectiles Moana couldn’t identify - that was hurled towards him. If that kept up, the Kakamora would probably start running out of weapons really soon. “It’s working,” she sighed in relief.

“And I’m never going to hear the end of it,” Tamatoa muttered, something on his face that wasn’t too far away from a pout. He seemed about to complain some more, but he paused and squinted. “… Is the ship splitting?”

He was right: through the thick fog, Moana could see the outline of the ship beginning to split in two. It was nothing she hadn’t seen before, but it reminded her of a beast’s maw, and suddenly she wasn’t so sure about Maui’s brilliant idea anymore.

This is not good. They could have something up their sleeve. They must–

There was a cry, hundreds of high-pitched voices, and everything happened terribly fast.

With a screech, Maui shot upwards from the fog, up towards the sky, and he was almost, almost fast enough. For a moment, Moana allowed herself to give a sigh of relief. Then something else shot up, something that reached Maui and opened up in the blink of an eye. Moana had just an instant to realize what it was before the huge net closed on the hawk.

“NO!” she cried out, and tried to run into the sea, to get closer, but something huge and terribly strong seized her around the waist, lifting her up. Her legs kicked uselessly in the air.

“Hey, hey - what do you think you’re doing?”

“I’ve got to go and help!”

“He’s fine, babe. Just look.”

Moana did, and she realized that the net hadn’t been enough to bring down Maui: he was pulling against it with all of his might, and the rope that was clearly tethering it to the ship was pulled taut, ready to snap. And it would snap, any moment now… any moment–

Something else rose from the fog, like a swarm of insects, and there was nothing Maui could do to escape them.

Darts.

Under Moana’s horrified gaze, Maui suddenly went still. He stopped pulling. The net went slack. And then, the hawk form was gone; Maui fell back into the fog, and did not come out again. Moana found herself staring numbly at the empty sky for several moments before Tamatoa spoke.

“… All right, well. Not so fine,” he said, “I’m starting to think we should have sent your chicken.”

Moana scowled, and kicked again. “Let me go! Now!”

“What, so you can go swimming to your doo–”

Moana snarled, and turned to glare into Tamatoa’s closest eye. “I. SAID. NOW.”

The giant crab winced, taken aback. “All right, all right,” he said, letting her drop in the water. Normally she’d have protested that wasn’t quite what she meant, but it wasn’t the right moment for technicalities. She stood in the water, pushing her hair off her face, and looked up at Tamatoa.

“We must go help him.”

“Do we have to?” he all but whined.

Moana gritted her teeth. “You want treasure, right? It’s right there on that ship,” she snapped. “You take it, I take Maui, and we’re all happy.”

“Sure, but can’t we wait until they, say, cut off one of his limbs or–”

“We had a deal,” Moana cut her off, then made a terrible effort not to yell and to sound as calm and disappointed as possible. “I thought you were a crab of your word.”

He reared back as though struck, and scowled. “Are you trying to make me feel guilty?”

Moana held back the urge to scream at him that she wouldn’t need to try if he had any honor at all, and forced herself to stay calm. “Please,” she said instead. “I need your help.”

A scoff. “What happened to Miss I Restored the Heart of Te Fiti?”

“I never said I did it all on my own. I needed help - everyone needs help at some point.”

Tamatoa didn’t seem convinced. “I never needed anybody’s help,” he pointed out, a challenging note in his voice.

But you need ours to find your treasure, she thought, knowing better than saying it aloud. “Maui put you back upright instead of leaving your helpless, didn’t he?” she said instead.

Tamatoa lifted a claw and opened his mouth. Moana raised an eyebrow. Tamatoa closed his mouth and lowered his claw, snapping it shut. “… I guess,” he conceded, looking away. Moana hesitated for a moment, then she stepped forward and placed a hand on his claw.

“Look. Let’s just go get Maui back. You can keep whatever treasure we find there, and we’ll call it even. Also,” she added lightly, “you’ll get to remind him of this every time you want.”

Tamatoa’s eyestalks shifted back towards her. “That is a good point.”

“Imagine that - getting to remind him that you just saved his life,” Moana pressed on. “And of course I’ll be right there to point out how amazing you looked like while doing it.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You don’t really think I’m amazing. I’m not even shiny anymore,” he added, the whiny quality back in his voice.

Saying that she had found him anything but amazing when he was covered in treasure as well didn’t seem like the best possible move, so she didn’t. “Well, I do think you’re–“

"If you say crabulous, I’m out of here.”

“… Right. Well, if that’s what you think I think, this is your chance to change my mind. And get some treasure. And rub this in Maui’s face for the next thousand years. What do you have to lose? Unless, of course, you’re afraid of the Kakamo–”

“Fine, fine, enough,” Tamatoa cut her off. “You had me at ‘treasure’, anyway. No need to overdo it,” he grinned, and lowered himself to the closest they could get to eye level. “You make good points, human. Have I already said I’m glad I didn’t eat you?”

“Once or twice. So, are we going?”

Tamatoa nodded, and picked her up. This time, Moana let him, and moments later he had placed her right behind the top of his head. They both turned back to the fog; it was coming closer and closer, and they could hear the cheers and drumming coming from it. Celebrating the fact they had brought down Maui, no doubt. Holding onto the base of one of Tamatoa’s antennae - he didn’t seem to even notice her grip - Moana hoped with all her heart that they hadn’t done anything irreparable to him yet.

“You got a plan, Smart One?”

“I think I do.”

“Does it involve a song?”

“… What?”

“Your plan. Do I get to sing a song? Come to think of it, you never told me if you liked–”

“Let’s… just focus on the rescue part,” she cut him off, and glanced at the water between them and the approaching ship. “So. You know that thing you do to attract fish…?”

***

That, Maui decided, was not part of the plan.

All right, so he’d had no plan to begin with - but if he had, that wouldn’t have been part of it.

“Hey! HEY! That’s mine! Put that down! Put it–” he trailed off with a groan when the obvious happened: the bunch of Kakamora who had been trying to work together to lift his fishhook lost their balance and fell crashing down on the deck. Still wrapped in the net, unable to move thanks to however many darts they had managed to stick in him, Maui rolled his eyes.

“Just give up. It won’t work for any of you. Give it back, and I might be merciful - hey! HEY! You get off me!” he protested when a couple of Kakamora began bouncing on his stomach, causing Mini Maui to uselessly shake a fist at them. He tried to shake them off, but of course he could move nothing except for his eyes and mouth. And his tattoo, which were not very helpful at the moment.

Awesome. Absolutely awesome.

“GET OFF ME!”

The bellow had the only result of making a couple of them snicker, while a couple more approached with spears. Maui glared at them.

“Okay, this is the last offer. If you want to get away from here all in one piece– ow! Hey! Stop that! Ouch!”

More laughter, and a couple more Kakamora approached to prod him with their spears, but before they could come close enough there was a cry, and they all turned away from Maui. Under his perplexed gaze, they all rushed to the opposite side of the ship to look down, chattering among themselves and entirely forgetting about him. What were they staring at?

Well, whatever it is, it’s not me. I must make my move before they turn their attention back.

Except that he couldn’t move, and that made things all the more complicated. Maui bit back a grunt as he tried with all his might to move, but his body stayed limp and unresponsive, and he could only look helplessly at his hook, lying on the floor and forgotten about. Last time he’d been on the receiving end of one of those darts, courtesy of the Ocean, he’d been paralyzed for hours; now it would probably take even longer for him to recover any mobility, and the Kakamora wouldn’t be distracted for that lon–

“They won’t be distracted for long,” someone whispered above him, and the next moment someone was getting the net off him, or trying to, some seawater dripping down on him. Of course Maui knew who it had to be before he even glanced up, but he did all the same.

“How did you get here?” he mouthed, and Moana grinned down at him.

“I had a lift,” was the reply, equally silent. She pushed the net off him and lifted an arm over her shoulders, but of course she couldn’t pull him up: he was far too heavy. Back in Lalotai he’d been able to walk with her help, but now he was a dead weight she couldn’t move. She realized it almost right away, and leaned him down. “Okay. Plan B,” she said, and looked up, towards the Kakamora. They were still looking down into the water, mesmerized, when she called out.

“Hey!”

They turned back as one, of course, and immediately lifted the spears.

“… Whatever Plan B is,” Maui found himself saying, “It would be best to get on with it no–”

Moana smiled at the Kakamora, giving no sign of having heard him. “Hello again, guys. Meet my little friend.”

Wait. Wait a sec–

The entire ship rocked as though hit by a tidal wave, and the unmistakable crack of wood breaking filled the air. The Kakamora screamed. Maui was thrown against the side of the ship, while Moana managed to maintain her balance, snatching a spear from the hands of the closest Kakamora and kicking it away in the same motion. Not a bad move and probably one Maui would have cheered in other circumstances, but at the moment he was a bit too taken by the sight of a very, very familiar claw planting itself in the middle of the deck. The next moment Tamatoa was emerging from the sea to peer onto the ship, dripping water and… wait, why did he look so perplexed?

“Human?” he called out, the frown still on his face. The flurry of activity on the deck stopped. The Kakamora stilled and stared at him. Moana stilled and stared at him. Maui stayed still - not much choice there - and stared at him.

“What is it?” Moana finally said, breaking the sudden and confused silence.

“You meant me, right?”

“Huh?”

“Your little friend? That was the signal I was supposed to attack, right? Or was I supposed to wait for another cue?”

“Er… no, this was fine.”

Maui blinked. The Kakamora kept shifting their gazes between Moana and Tamatoa, completely silent, weapons down. Tamatoa shrugged, a claw still planted into the ship and seemingly paying no attention to any of them. “Oh, good. It was just kind of confusing, talking about a little friend, and I’m not little, am I?”

“Well… no, you’re not.”

“Why did you call me little, then?”

“It’s just… can we talk about this later?” Moana asked, gesturing to the whole situation - the Kakamora, Maui’s motionless form, his fishhook on the floor - with her free hand. “Possibly when we’re done here?”

Tamatoa blinked, then seemed to perk up. “Oh! Right! The rescue thing. Hey, Maui! I’m saving your life here! Are you taking note?”

“Believe me, I’m not forgetting this moment anytime soon,” Maui said drily. As chaos exploded around him again, the Kakamora clearly not willing to just surrender their ship to a giant crab, he sighed and closed his eyes, letting his head drop. He would never let him hear the end of it, would he? Of course he wouldn’t. Come to think of it, maybe it would be for the best to just roll into the water and drow–

CRACK.

The ship rocked again, this time a lot more violently, and Maui was thrown across the deck before he felt something beneath him shatter. Moana’s cry - “Maui!” - reached him only one instant before he fell.

Oh, come on! I didn’t really mean–

The thought was cut short by the impact against water, like a violent slap, and the sensation of sinking like a stone. He tried to move out of instinct, tried to swim, but of course he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do anything except stare up at the surface, hold his breath, and sink.

***

[Back to Chapter 4]

[On to Chapter 6]

#moana #maui #tamatoa #oceania #disney

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