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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 3 days

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hiiiii i'm here to give you a big hug and request a 1k prompt 🙌

1. a biiiiiig hug

2. as for the (hehe smutty) prompt!

i think i would LOVE to see ed feeling vulnerable and safe enough to share with stede that a lot of things don't work for him in bed because of his knee and at first he is cautious and worries stede will get angry or frustrated with him, but of course stede showers him with love and care and thinks of a hundred ways to have sex that are not painful or uncomfortable for him 🫶

Ooh I really loved this one, thanks so much for sending it in (and sending you a hug right back)! Get absolutely adored and cherished Ed!!

Under the cut since this one's a bit nsfw! I'd put it at a strong M rating, no explicit sexual content but obviously it's about sex.

Ed had never really owned up to how fucking inconvenient the knee could make things, not before.

See, there are certain things that are mood- killers, and then there are things that are straight-up dangerous to admit, and Ed’s little problem was both. The hookups Ed was used to wouldn’t just laugh at him for being in pain during sex, they would’ve taken it as a sign of weakness. A sign that Ed was vulnerable, weak, easy to exploit and to harm.

So, usually, he just put up with it. If it was awful, like if a guy pushed his legs back, forcing the knee to bend at a harsh angle, he might find some excuse to change it up, but usually he just closed his eyes and hoped his grunts of discomfort sounded pleasured instead of pained. He would close his eyes, after, breathing through the pain, vowing that he’d never have sex in a painful position again for the rest of his life, cautiously listening to make sure whatever guy he’d taken to bed wasn’t trying to pull any shit. Rinse and repeat a few weeks later.

Stede, though. Talk about a hell of a difference.

He’d figured out that Ed didn’t like some things, Ed thought. He never held down Ed’s bad leg, never forced the knee to bend. Rubbed the joint so tenderly after sex. And that maybe should’ve made it easier to admit to his problem, but Stede made Ed feel so good, and he wanted to return the favor, and…

“Ed, honey, you’re somewhere else tonight.”

Ed sniffed, shifted. They’d been breaking in their new bed (still called it that, even though they’d been breaking it in for a couple months now), and he was half in Stede’s lap, legs flung across Stede’s thighs. He should’ve felt perfect.

“Sorry,” he whispered, and when Stede’s light, appraising touches traveled down his leg, rubbing lightly at his knee, he hissed, the pain making him flinch involuntarily.

Stede kissed his fingertips, then touched them feather-light to Ed’s knee. “Does it hurt?”

“Just stiff,” Ed said dismissively.

Stede just hummed. Ed knew he wouldn’t force the issue.

“I, uh…” Ed cleared his throat. “What would you say if I said I didn’t think I should ride you anymore?”

He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the anger on Stede’s face -

“I’d say that was fine,” Stede said easily. “Why? Does it make your knee hurt when we do that?”

“Maybe a little,” Ed admitted softly.

“Okay,” Stede said, and he positioned his hands around Ed’s knee, rubbing his thumbs gently along the sore, tender joint, working out the stiffness of exertion. Ed hissed, his face scrunching up at the sensation, and Stede just cooed soft apologies.

That was - that was it, though, wasn’t it? Ed knew he was safe to let Stede see him in pain. Stede hadn’t ever gotten angry or frustrated with him for being in pain or needing help with his knee before, why would this be any different?

“Um,” Ed started haltingly, “I actually think maybe we might need to be a little more careful. During intercourse. With my knee. If that sounds alright to you. Maybe.”

When he opened his eyes, Stede was getting that pinched line between his eyebrows.

“Ed?” Stede pulled Ed a bit more securely into his arms, and Ed sighed in satisfaction at the feeling of Stede’s arms around his waist. “Have you been hurting? While we have sex? Have I been hurting you?”

“Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad, I’m just…” Stede let his breath out in a long sigh. “I don’t want to ever do anything that hurts you. Not ever. Especially not when we’re trying to do something that’ll make us both feel good. How can I help keep you comfortable?”

“Well…” Ed grimaced. “Bending my knee is what hurts the most.”

“Alright,” Stede said thoughtfully, and Ed could see the wheels turning in his head. Taking out positions that required Ed to bend his knee took so much off the table. Riding, giving blowjobs, even fucking missionary, and Ed was a bit terrified he’d just ruined their sex life.

Clearly, he’d underestimated Stede Bonnet’s creativity.

Ed should’ve known he was in for a treat when he caught Stede woodworking in the backyard and was given a full presentation about all the features of the “blowjob stool” he was building, a seat designed to cushion and support Ed’s knee while putting him at perfect dick-sucking height.

Stede was endlessly thoughtful when adapting positions they already liked, too. Ed liked being taken from behind; they discovered that a pillow under his hips kept him comfortable and allowed him to keep his legs straight. When Ed missed looking into Stede’s eyes during sex, they experimented with variously supporting his knee with pillows or propping his ankle on Stede’s shoulder. Spooning, bent over a desk, the good ol’ 69… not all of Stede’s ideas or little inventions worked, but the ideas he had for supports to keep Ed comfortable meant it was the best sex Ed had ever had, full stop. It was really damn nice to be able to enjoy himself without worrying about being in pain.

The best parts, though, weren’t just the sex itself.

They’d found that Ed’s knee was least painful when his muscles were relaxed and when he was feeling good, so they often had a warm bath first. It was fun foreplay, and relaxing together while Stede rubbed tiger balm into the joint in the afterglow was the perfect way to snuggle and talk about what they’d enjoyed.

“I’m glad I told you,” Ed whispered one night, tracing their initials over Stede’s heart as they cuddled, Ed’s bad leg slung over Stede’s hip to keep it propped up.

“Me, too,” Stede said, kissing Ed’s cheek.

Ed was learning, still, that he’d never have to just put up with pain again. And it was soft, soft, as smooth and sweet as honey.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd fic #my fics #always accepting prompts for 1k fics! Don't be shy!

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lil-guys-brainrot · 2 days

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HELLO I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR ABT UR NINJAGO OPINIONS PLS

seriously tho I love this show so much and I'm always looking for excuses to talk to people about it so... thoughts on where things might go after S2Pt2? I'm starting to believe the evil Arin theories, but I feel like our boy deserves more nuance than that...

I'll gladly indulge! you can always bother me with ninjago thoughts in either my inbox or dms :3

I don't personally think the evil arin theories will come to fruition, but I do think this will blow up in the team's face if they can't properly address arin's self-worth issues soon (they won't). especially since it was confirmed that he doesn't have any elemental power. everything is so tense on the team after kai getting yoinked into the nether space, and it's only gonna get worse when they see a lightning EM in the s2pt2 tournament. and when arin finds out that sora helped him with his object spinjitsu, ohhhhh he's not gonna be happy. I can maybe see him leaving the team for an episode or two, but I don't think he'll go awol. the show is definitely trying to insinuate that though huh :')

lloyd and sora just need to stop coddling him for a second. they're forcing optimism on him when what he needs is a heart to heart about his actual capabilites. the boy is very capable, but he needs to be able to say "I can't do it" and actually have someone respect that and say "okay, here's an alternative instead."

but that's s2pt2 commentary. you asked what I think will happen in s3 and beyond

I honestly think they're gonna focus more on jay in s3. I think we'll see him a fair bit more throughout s2pt2, but I don't think the main cast is gonna realize it's him until towards the very end. and I honestly can see the season ending with the team realizing jay's alive, and the production crew won't actually try to "deal with" his arc until s3. and as much as I love jay, I hope they draw out his arc and make everyone suffer :) I do really want him to get his memories back in the end tho

I also wonder if we'll get a glimpse at next season's protagonists? similar to how ras was carried over from last season into this one, could the forbidden five somehow carry over into s3? idk. I'm just thinking out loud. I don't really believe that'll happen. tho I think it would be strange to give them so much lore without giving them more significance and screentime

anyhow, that's all I have for now. I'd be interested in hearing some of your other thoughts for what the future seasons hold.

#sorry I waited a bit to respond. I'm bad at time management;;#ninjago dragons rising #ninjago #dragons rising #answered

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b0njourbeach · 6 hours

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do u have any LeoVil headcanons? I like ur thoughts.

I hope you know how much I appreciate every single ask of yours that asks me about my thoughts and rants djdjsjs

Ahem. Besides the HCs I have mentioned here, I certainly have more bc oh boy, this ship got me wrapped in its silly little subtly toxic spiderweb.

So mainly, I have the HC that Vil started using flowers to express his feelings (both positive AND negative! Flowers can be indeed used to insult) towards Leona - But he didn't understand until Ruggie had pointed out that the "choice of flowers is odd" (He may know only know which flowers are edible and which aren't but my boy is smart). Leona then realized that Vil was secretly communicating with him, so he started to hit the books for a bit to reply in the same language. First, he found it stupid and used it in a sarcastic/snarky way but he started to slowly love it when he realized that no one really knew what was going on - Just that both Vil and Leona had random flowers popping up in their rooms, their favorite places and their desks (only the two of them knew the flowers were from each other). Then, at some point, Leona received a bouquet with following flowers (after studying them, he found out about their Victorian meaning - The preferred choice of language of Vil [Leona was basing himself on the more modern "translation"]): Buttercup (= "You are radiant with charm"), Camellia (= "Longing for you"), Cornflower (= Hope in Love), pansy (= "You occupy my thoughts") and a single tulip (= "I declare my love for you"). Vil waited for a week or so to receive an answer, already giving up on it when a single red rose was lying in front of his door.

For one, this one has been inspired by a fanart - Unfortunately I do not remember the artist or post (if you know: Please do link it in the comments and/or the reblogs or let me know about it, so I can link it‼️). In said Fanart, Leona and Vil has exchanged flowers to send a little message and well, I think I've expressed yesterday for a little how much I adore the language of flowers. So naturally, I'm falling in love with a fanart that uses said language to express even the slightest.

[Post has been edited, said fanart is linked here. Check it out, it's really pretty. The artist makes such good LeoVil fanarts in general tbh.]

[Mentions of attempted self-quit. Please skip to the next paragraph if it triggers you]

Since I personally believe that Leona is not only depressed but also has the lean to.. quit. I "like" (not in the way I'd enjoy it but I can see it) to imagine that he had one (1) attempt to leave - But it has been prevented by Vil. Not intentionally, mind you. Vil has walked in on Leona, who was midst doing the deed (I personally believe he'd go for a wound-free, "Falling asleep" kind - Therefore some kind of overdose and/or poisoning. Not really "Falling asleep peacefully" but idk, it just makes sense to me, so bear with me). Leona, who basically was on the edge of passing out forever, having severe issues with what he had consumed and then Mr. Perfect (Vil) walks in on him, thinking he just ate something that was already bad, so he stays. Talks to him. Keeps him aware, conscious. Alive. No one except Leona himself knows the truth, he just went with the excuse of having eaten something that has gone bad.

Vil definitely fell first, Leoma fell harder. Or better said: Vil fell slowly but obviously, Leona was just suddenly struck by "Oh shit, it's love" out of nowhere.

[While they're dating] Leonas closet is missing at least five shirts and to this day, the lion blames Ruggie - Fully unaware that the poor hyena hasn't done anything wrong this time. In fact, if Leona would've taken a single closer look in Vils closet, he would've known where his shirts have gone. Vil took them and usually wears them when going to sleep (bc that way, no one knows he owns them nor will anyone know that they're dating to begin with).

They're getting mutually annoyed by Rooks' not so subtle presence in the background (he got locked at least twice in a room, so they could go on a secret date).

#twisted wonderland #twst #leona kingscholar #vil schoenheit #leovil #twst hc #x answers

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wanderingchocolateeclair · 6 months

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When your best friend’s a vigilante who every now and then needs to discreetly crash at your place. But you’re terrible at lying.

Basically introducing my hc that back in highschool, Higari was a vigilante and would sometimes need to crash at Ecto's place for safety. His sister quickly found out but Ecto bribed her with covering for her when she snuck out to parties.

Also just my excuse to draw them when they were younger. And also my oc for Ecto's sister, Koemi :]

Bonus:

She knew anyway. And now Yuna also knows :]

#bnha #eclair’s art #power loader #ectoplasm #ectoloader #higari maijima #bnha oc #yuna #here we are #havent done a nice ol regular paper doodle in a while #and ectoloader is the only thing on brain rn so here #i have some more powerloader headcanons(vigilante ones too) that i'd love to talk about #but this was just my excuse to draw my family ocs for ecto #bc why not

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oldmanlusting · 7 months

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Quickly how do you befriend an older man with as far as you know no common interests

#I think I'd really like being friends with my senior colleague actually #We spent the evening talking just a bit more to each other and getting to bond over our work #And it doesn’t feel as hard interacting with him anymore - Like we were more relaxed after we had goofed off together earlier in the day #We dared to look each other in the eye #Even when sitting right beside each other #I don’t know it just felt nice that he made an effort to look me in the face for some reason #Maybe it was just the closeness in general #Maybe it's the fact he's willing to try and put an effort into being my companion #He gave me company on the way to the train station too #And we got to talking about where we live and house prices and in his case his first apartment #Something about it was very nice #So I think I'd like an excuse to continue talking to him outside of the job context you know #Just to get to know him better #Don't you love it when you find reasons to enjoy someone's humanity beyond their physical attractiveness <3 #Anyway maybe he becomes my first attempt at turning a work friend into a real friend but probably not. He's going away for another month #again :'( That guy really goes far and beyond for his wife how lovely :)#Also none of this solves the apparent conundrum I have of NOT HAVING ANYTHING TO SAY TO THE MAN dvmgkhcgbfy

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cloudwhisper23 · 10 months

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I've been wondering, do you have any ocs (other than fnaf ocs)? I've never seen you talk about them, do you have an orignal story that involves them? If so, do you have a favourite oc? I'd love to hear about them :0 (If you don't have any ocs, feel free to ignore this, I just assumed so because of the post you recently reblogged, haha TTwTT)

I do have a bunch of other ocs outside of fnaf! I'm just so deep in fnaf brainrot right now that I've probably only ever mentioned my other ocs like once or twice ever on this blog, but rest assured, they do exist

Currently I have three original stories in the making; each with their own set of wonderful characters. I have a somewhat dystopian story that has two main characters named Hunter and Trixx. Hunter is basically an assassin, and she only does it in order to protect her younger brother. Her reputation keeps them safe and all that. Trixx is really good at reading people. Or rather, he got good at reading people after his family was betrayed, leaving him to assume his entire family is dead. Despite the betrayals he's had in the past, Trixx is very reliable to those he considers trustworthy. The story itself centralizes around Hunter's younger brother getting kidnapped. She and Trixx team up to rescue him.

The second big story I have involves a somewhat realistic scenario. It exists more to help me practice normal interactions, while also helping me practice my restraint (because Lord knows how bad I am at not killing off characters). It focuses on four main characters: Max, Dakota, Coraline, and Sam. Max is the legal guardian of Dakota and Caroline (twin sisters), and he finds Sam out in the rain one day and just brings him home. It's hard to explain in a more general post like this, but I might be able to find my old notes somewhere and just post them on Tumblr at some point. The main storyline is mostly Sam trying to figure out where he fits into the world, without the pressures his parents kept trying to place on him. Sam ran away from home and was homeless until Max and his family took him in.

The third story hasn't had much proper work done to it yet. It's a science-fiction sort of thing, with a mix of fantasy thrown in there. The main character is an alien from another planet just trying to learn more about the planet he landed on. Problem is, one of the species that lives there does not trust the idea of aliens (human parallel, since we never tend to like unexpected new things). He ends up spending time in the forest with nymphs, and this whole situation starts a war. The main ocs from this one are Peregrine and Amaya. Peregrine being the alien explorer who now needs to find a way home, and Amaya being the main guide who helps him survive his experiences on the unfamiliar planet.

I am very much one to pick favorites when it comes to characters, especially when creating a new story. I'd say Trixx, Sam, and Amaya are my favorites from the aforementioned stories above, so I'll try to go more in-depth about them.

Trixx is not actually named Trixx. He determined rather quickly after his older sister Kristen was kidnapped (and is now presumed dead), that knowing something that intimate is dangerous. Trixx is actually named James. He decided on the name Trixx as an alias, so that the main gang controlling the city wouldn't realize he was the same kid whose older sister was a member of a rebellion of sorts. He worked hard on his ability to pick up on tiny gestures and expressions people would make in conversation, learning to read people like open books. Trixx uses this skill in his chosen field, selling information and secrets to anyone interested in the information. He develops a fondness for Hunter when she starts using him consistently as a source for information, and the fact that she never tries to cheat him doesn't hurt either. Trixx is sometimes known to outright lie about information if he believes he's being manipulated or scammed, so people do their best to stay in his good graces. Even then, he knows how to read their body language, and he'll end up scraping information out of the people he's selling information to.

Sam is the younger of two children. His mother is a well-off dentist, and his father is a high-paid lawyer. His older sister Emma is a doctor, and his family expects him to follow in their footsteps. Sam does not know what he wants to do with his life. He's used to all these expectations, so he tries different activities. Sam learns to cook, draw, play the guitar, sing, act, and all sorts of different skills. None of these are things that his parents believe he should continue doing in a career, however. So, a few days after he turns 18, Sam packs up some of his things and runs away. He ends up on the streets, avoiding everyone he possibly can. His parents have reported him missing, and Sam does not want to be trapped into a life he doesn't want, so he hides, eventually making his way out of the city and finding his way somewhere else. After a run-in with a thief, Sam meets Max, who offers him a place to stay after covering for him with the police. Sam tries to leave several times before realizing that he's better off with Max and his sisters. They don't have high expectations from him, and he already helps them so much with his wide range of skills and knowledge. He doesn't realize it right away, but he's meant for a career in family life, which is why nothing seemed to click before.

Amaya is a water nymph. Her whole existence comes with a multitude of expectations. Amaya's species reproduces asexually, meaning she's essentially a little copy of her mother. Her mother trained her to hone her various abilities, and now Amaya is expected to balance human relations along with all of her usual responsibilities in the village. She makes rain fall, calling thunderstorms on occasion, and sometimes she's called in on request to manipulate the weather for certain days of the year. Her priorities as a water nymph mean that she cannot travel very far. Little nymph villages are sprinkled all over the planet, and if she leaves to explore, it means all the expectations are fully placed on her mother. So, until Peregrine arrives, Amaya has not experienced the world at all. Of course, when the humans find out that they're harboring an alien, all their peace agreements go out the window, and suddenly Amaya is on her own, stuck with adventuring, despite knowing nothing about it.

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ailinu · 2 years

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And there we go.

#finished wheel of time 15 minutes ago and i have *thoughts*#won't voice them all here and now but book spoilers follow: ye have been warned #i'm a little surprised we didn't have more major character death #oh we pulled out all the stops on our thousands of minor characters but for the major ones?#we pulled a lot of fake-outs #which is. something. i don't know how i feel about it #that said egwene hit me like a fucking train #very well done---particularly since i'd had less fondness for her than some of the others?#she felt a little... undefined to me. i guess. but that could just be me. but her death: holy fuck. forget about whatever rand's doing.#which is fair. i think. because rand is doing The Problem Of Evil and his conclusion is Free Will Good.#which is fine?? i guess??? i'm glad he had his moment of growth and realized that Get Rid Of Bad is not a solution that maintains free will #but unfortunately i care a lot about the problem of evil and would have loved to see more nuance #but to be fair this also ties in with. like. the real exhaustion of pretty much this whole book being battles.#and with so much of heroism being conflated with violence against an unquestionably evil force #there is no provision for the tua'than in the Dragon's Peace. they are not represented in the talks #their presence at the battle is a surprise; their brief philosophizing a capitulation that they will owe their survival to those fighting #we end the series without knowing if the song which has been found has been returned to them #where evil requires force of arms to be defeated and heroism is valued at participating in that fight i think--#--it is difficult to dig into pacifism. and i think that's especially true when killing becomes easy to excuse #because something is irredeemably and unquestionably evil #but to be fair: i could be overblowing this a bit. it's been percolating for a while haha #overall though: much to think about. will keep you updated.

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sucrevere · 2 months

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#twit is about the artists first love who loved her more than she thinks she deserved. some of the lyrics talk about her being unhappy #despite it. she felt suffocated and like she was his whole world while he was not hers. eventually he too grew unhappy and they broke up #anyways #sometimes i think about my first relationship when i listen to this song #pretty sure she had bpd. she loved me so much. i was her favorite person. but... i was the person who put the most effort into the #relationship.#i thought it was my duty as the person who ''wore the pants'' ig and she adored the attention. its always been in my nature to watch out #for others i suppose.#when i became severely depressed after turning 18 i lost all passion and desire to do anything. i had no energy for the relationship #instead of picking up the slack... she started acting out to try and regain my attention. it didn't work. i didn't have the energy to give #her my attention but she desperately needed it.#at some point it hit me that i was aro and it was at that point i realized i needed to cut it off.#she loved me so much. she loved me too much. she'd never had a partner who treated her the way i did. she couldn't imagine a life #without me.#i couldn't be the person she needed and i knew it. it would hurt her but it would be for the best. i know she would never be able to cope #with the fact that i'd never be able to love her in the same way she did i. so i did. i think it broke her #to put it bluntly. she tried to rape me in response. corrective rape. she wanted me to stop being aromantic.#it didn't work. i stood my ground. i was larger and stronger than her.#there's no excuse for it. but sometimes... i want to feel bad for her. i loved her too. not in the same way she loved me but i did.#i mourn her and our relationship still sometimes. i know i ruined her. i feel like i did. i feel like if i were different or if i had #handled it better then she wouldn't have done that. i feel like its my fault still #i know its not.#but i still feel like it was and because of that. i feel guilt.#tw rape #rape mention #Spotify

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mrfoox · 3 months

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I'm kinda glad I can keep my opinions to myself but man

#miranda talking shit #Heard an story of... “I had my first strong love feeling like a woman. We met only a few times irl #But then suddenly she moved away and broke all contact for a year. I waited for her and tried to contact her. She sent an message 6 month #Ago about how she did it bc of anxiety and not bc of me. Then it's just been silence again. But I'm still waiting for her and I'd drop #Everything if she contacted me again“ me: what.... Wh.... Huh?!#Like I get it... First love? That shits intense but also like... Do you hear? Yourself? This isn't good for you... You've been waiting for #Someone for like two years who have not held contract with you like at all. As someone who struggles with bad anxiety and depression... Yea #Like if I really loved or cared for someone I'd try more than just give an excuse and then stop answering again #Everyone is different and we all have our past but... That sounds so... Yeah not good.#Heard this story and I was like wow... You're.. Over 30 and you... Don't respect yourself enough to break things off and move on?#First love makes us stupid but like... They weren't even officially dating it was more an “it could go somewhere” type of situation.#Maybe I've... Had practice but. Actions does speak louder than words. If I don't feel that return of care I'll tire and go to those I know #Will. I wanted to shake this man and scream this at him but... No one asks for my opinion and I understand when to not share it #It just sounds so sad to me. To wait for years for someone who can't even bother texting you? Still you're hoping they'll contact you #Hope is an wonderful thing and it's what keeps us alive but... Hope placed on people who has shown they do not care... Yeah #Maybe I'm harsh but I do believe in the idea if someone really does care. Texting and calling even just some isn't impossible. Inaction #Speaks for itself... No answer is also an answer.#Me sitting there sadly: you deserve better king... Love and respect yourself....

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stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage · 3 months

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Hey so you've posted a bit about replaying DA and I wanted to know if you have a canon run through

I do! I'm currently replaying through my canon run right now [with a few deviations here and there] because every time I finish a run, some time passes before I'm like, ".........I miss them." It makes doing an alternate run harder, too.

For DAO, I play as a rogue lady Tabris named Rosalie, or Rose. Dual-wielding ranger and dualist. Her most used party dynamic is Alistair/Morrigan/Zevran. She named the mabari Griffon after the tales of Grey Wardens and their griffons. Rose romanced Alistair, kept him a warden and made Anora queen. She considers Morrigan one of her closest friends until Morrigan reveals her true intentions for coming with them. I've written about that whole thing before. Honestly, as far as companions go, Rose becomes close friends with most of them... except Wynne, they tend to butt heads in a lot of ways.

Rose didn't want to become a warden and thinks most of their rules and secrets are bullshit. Duncan's excuse for not coming to help her and the other elven women Vaughan took is a driving force for her to defy that "we can't get involved" rule as much as she can during and post-blight. She sided with the mages in Kinloch and with their help saved Connor, made Bhelen king of Orzammar, and settled things between the Dalish and the werewolves peacefully by convincing Zathrian to end the curse. She executed Loghain at the Landsmeet since, y'know... he sold city elves, nearly including her father, to Tevinter slavers to fund his war so... in her eyes, he doesn't get to live after that.

This playthrough I did make a save to reject Morrigan's dark ritual to see what happens when the warden makes the ultimate sacrifice and it's the most unsatisfying ending. It's such a, "No no noooo we didn't deserve this! After everything we went through! Just for it to end like that??" hopeless feeling... which was then fixed when I went back and made my canon choice of begrudgingly accepting the deal [even though it mostly goes against Rose's character but I'm weak and selfish and want her and Alistair to live].

In DA2, I play as a male mage Hawke named Edgar, or Ed. Force mage and blood mage. His most used party dynamic is Carver/Merrill/Anders until Carver goes to the Grey Wardens, then it's Isabela/Merrill/Anders. He's mostly purple in personality, but occasionally dips into blue, and I can count the number of times he's gone red on one hand. He named his mabari Fleabag after Malcolm bought the pup from a traveling merchant who failed to mention he was flea ridden. Several baths later, the mabari was finally flea free but Ed decided he should never live it down and named him Fleabag.

Ed maxes out the friendships with everyone [yes, including Carver, Ed tries so damn hard with him] except Aveline, he maxes out her rivalry. They all side with him and the mages in the end. He romanced Anders. I once did a run where I romanced Fenris with Ed and even though I liked it, the whole playthrough felt wrong because romancing Anders is, like... a fundamental part of Ed's story now... Even though they break up in the end.

I've done all three options across different playthroughs when it comes to Anders; I've spared him, I've killed him, and I've told him to leave. My canon choice is to tell him to leave, and then let him join my party later after we've sided with the mages. It's hard to explain without writing a full essay, but Ed and Anders are pretty much life partners at this point. Even if it's no longer romantic because a huge amount of trust was broken, even if they never get back together in that regard, even if Anders will now be on the run for the rest of his life, whether or not Ed agrees with him [he does and he doesn't, it's complicated] like... Ed loves him and he'll always love him, y'know? He won't abandon him even when everyone tells him he should.....but then DAI happened uhhh

Finally for DAI, I play a lady mage Lavellan named Ashalle, or Ashlaen, or just Ash. She's a knight-enchanter who mostly does storm magic. I'd say DAI is the game where I have a pretty even party use that I rotate between; Cassandra/Varric/Vivienne, Solas/Sera/Blackwall, The Iron Bull/Dorian/Cole. She sides with the mages in Redcliffe and left Hawke in the fade [sorry Ed, and sorry Anders... and sorry Carver... and Varric]. When it came to picking a ruler for Orlais, she figured all options sucked but went with Celene and Briala. Ash drank from the well, and then disbanded the inquisition in Trespasser.

I dislike how DAI just kinda plops your inquisitor into existence with only a small paragraph explaining why they were at the conclave; I wish it had a DAO approach so that's what I did for my inquisitor. Before I start the DAI playthrough, I boot up DAO. Before she was Ashalle Lavellan, she was a circle mage named Ashlaen Surana who escaped with Jowan after he lied to her about being a blood mage. In the ten years pre-DAI, she lost Jowan. In her grief, joined the Dalish, changed her name, and eventually ended up at the conclave. It just adds a lot more meat and spice to the choices and interactions with companions and advisors since she keeps that part of her backstory a secret. After all, she helped a blood mage and then was accused of being one herself before fleeing; she doesn't want the inquisition to know that. All of her crafted staves are named after Jowan while her crafted robes are usually named after her conflicting identities and pieces of her past, too..... Oh, speaking of past, she romanced Cullen. Because of course.

With the context of all this, it becomes them reuniting after they may or may not have had a thing going on in the circle, but then she escaped and he believed she was actually a blood mage for ten years. Cullen sees her like "Ah. Yes. You. Whom I haven't met. Hope they're right about you. We've lost a lot of people to get you here. Glad you survived." when internally he's screaming "I know who you are, those tattoos fool me not! Why are you here?? To torment ME specifically??" Then there's Ash who takes a little longer to recognize him, and when she does, it solidifies that she needs to run after this because he knows who she is and why she fled, that's not good, she's not going back to the circle after all this is done.

But y'know... they work it out. Eventually.

That's my canon run through of all three games. I keep trying to talk myself into doing a full alternate canon run, but the only game I've successfully done a different route in is DAI with my male rogue Tristan Trevelyan whose backstory was that he's a pro-mage ex-templar. That was fun to see how different things play out, but I haven't managed it for the other two.

I'd like to play DAO as a more cutthroat warden who, unlike Rose, won't go out of their way to do kind things; they'll do what they deem necessary. I'd like to do a lady warrior Hawke run with Bethany as the surviving sibling, and I've tried before but every time I hit a point where I'm like ".....I miss Carver so much" and abandon the run. Like there's always something that makes me abandon the run. I almost abandoned Tristan's run, too, but somehow I pushed through and got invested. I dunno. One day I'll put on my big girl pants and just do it.

#asks #dragon age #dao #da2 #dai #this is the first ask i've ever gotten on this blog btw you get a gold star for being first anon ⭐#actually that's technically not true- the first ask was a bot telling me there are single ladies in my area but i was not interested #but thank you for giving me the opportunity to gush a little bit about my da protags; they're funky and i love them #i've mostly talked about dao and da2 on this blog but i'd like to talk more about dai at some point #tbh i think i'm hesitant because cullen's my canon romance and i've read a lot of discourse in his tag from fans who hate him #and i'm like mmmmmmm maybe i should just *not* sksksks #like i dunno i don't believe in assuming people are bad just because they picked an option i don't like #mostly it depends on how they treat other people or if their reasonings are actually harmful that determine it for me y'know?#i enjoy reading different opinions on characters and choices because different perspectives are fun and can make you see things #in a different light. like if i say 'huh yeah okay i never thought of it that way that's neat' then you've done something right imo #but dai makes me hesitate in a way that dao and da2 don't so i don't know what that's about haha #but anyway yeah i love every excuse to talk about da ❤️#long post

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buckyalpine · 7 months

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Imagine jealous!sharon want to get you out of the way so she can be with Bucky…

She hurts you (even it’s like a bruise) and Bucky begins to be so protective of you 🥺🥵

ABSOLUTELY.

I'm imaging this with a soft sweet reader and fuckboi Bucky. Hear me out, okay.

He's not looking for a relationship at all, finally feeling a sense of freedom after getting a bit of himself back. He's so flirty with everyone, so charming, he knows he can get whoever he wants.

He fucks.

A lot.

Sharon eats it up, loving the smirks he gives her, his playful baby blue eyes always sparkling. She loves the naughty way he bites his lip and don't even get her started on how gorgeous he is when he works out shirtless. His Brooklyn accent comes out when he calls her darlin' and it makes her weak in the knees.

There's just one issue.

The looks he gives Sharon aren't special. She's not the only one he calls darlin', even the old lady at the coffee shop shares the same pet name. Bucky can't help the little smirks he tosses around to others, flirty compliments naturally falling from his lips. He's a bit of a heart breaker but it's who he is.

That's just Bucky.

That's Bucky with everyone else.

Then there's Bucky with you.

The quite lab assistant who worked at the compound.

He didn't have it in him to playfully flirt with you when you asked about his day. He actually liked talking to you, finding any excuse under the sun to keep the conversation going, poking at the little nick knacks you have on your desk so he doesn't have to leave so quickly.

Sharon hates the way he looks at you. Whenever he's around you, he looks at you with puppy eyes as if he's wondering how someone so sweet could possibly exist. She catches onto the way he's not the same with you as he is with others. He's called everyone in passing darlin' with a drawl of his voice but you're his doll. He's never used that with anyone else. That's reserved just for you.

She can't stand it.

At first she tries to pick you apart in subtle ways' maybe you'd finally realize you had no business talking to someone like Bucky.

"You're so pretty even though you wear glasses"

"Don't worry, that dress would still look good on your body type, its meant to suit everyone"

"I wish I was as brave as you to wear that! I'd love to have that much confidence but I could never"

She smiled sweetly while you pulled your lab coat closer together, clutching it tightly in your hand. Your heart sank to your stomach. You'd worn one of your favorite dresses, one many others had always said you looked perfect in but some how Sharon made you doubt that, despite her sugary smile.

Then she took it a step further to make sure you were more isolated, insisting you'd be uninterested in plans when the team wanted to go out. Purposely giving you extra work when they had drinks together. Anything to keep you sad and holed away in your lab while she kept Bucky all to herself.

She'd do anything to get rid of you.

She was almost certain everything was going accordingly to plan, inching closer and closer to Bucky during a movie night until she was pressed against him, sharing his blanket. Not that Bucky noticed since he was more distracted over the fact that Sam was also squished against him on the other side of the small couch. Sam was also buried under the now too hot blanket, his deep snores irrupting the movie having fell asleep on Bucky's shoulder.

"Damn bird brain" Bucky huffed, ignoring the fact that he pushed Sharon off while reluctantly adjusting himself so Sam's head wouldn't slip, shaking his head when Sam grumbled, trying to snuggle into Bucky more.

"Bet you wish that was y/n, huh" Tony wiggled his eyebrows and much to Sharon's distain, Bucky blushed. Not did he deny it.

It didn't matter though. She'd find a way to get Bucky's attention, it wasn't like you were real competition anyways. She figured you'd have the sense to like someone better suited for you, someone in your league, definitely not the very handsome Sergeant.

That was until she found out you had a crush on the super soldier yourself. You'd let it slip out during a conversation with Nat, not realizing there was someone near the lab. Sharon didn't think you actually had a chance with Bucky but it didn't matter.

At this point she didn't care about what it took.

She was sick of the way Bucky was soft over you.

So she took a more direct approach.

"Y'know, I heard someone has a little crush on a certain super soldier" Sharon smirked, wandering to your table, tinkering with one of your tools while you looked at her like a deer caught in head lights.

How did she know?!"

"I-I don't-

"Oh please y/n, everyone knows" the blonde rolled her eyes at your gaping mouth before continuing, "I just thought I should let you know that he's not interested"

You felt like you had been punched in the stomach, the hurt expression on your face made her satisfied,.

"Oh" Was all you mustered out, embarrassed beyond belief while she shrugged. You blinked back tears while Sharon squeezed your shoulder out of faux concern, handing you a tissue.

"I'm so sorry, honestly I just thought you should know because he likes me. And I like him. So it would be best for you to move on, because were seeing each other" It didn't matter if it was a lie because she intended on making it real soon enough.

From that day, you avoided everyone in the compound like the plague, throwing yourself into work, feeling ridiculous for having even thought of Bucky that way. Of course he'd never go for someone like you, you should've known that from the start.

Sharon's plan was short lived after she overheard Bucky worriedly asking Tony about where you'd been all week since he hadn't seen you. After some endless teasing, Tony reassured him you were fine and just busy with lab work, not knowing the true reason as to why you'd overloaded yourself.

Sharon despised the pink that decorated Bucky's cheeks whenever someone said your name.

She hated that she'd seen him walking by the lab hallway in search of you.

She'd do anything to end all of this.

Including hurt you.

You made your way down to the gym hoping to sweat some of your unrequited feelings away, putting on your headphones before hopping on the treadmill. Sharon walked in moments later, blonde hair pulled into a sleek ponytail, her toned body on full display in nothing but a sports bra and some tiny shorts.

You felt even worse.

You tried to stay hidden, deciding 15 minutes would be enough, though your escape was cut short with Sharon caught your arm just as you were about to leave.

"How about we spar for a bit" She smiled sweetly, giggling at your confused expression. You'd never sparred in your life, in fact this was probably the third time you'd even used the gym the entire time you'd lived at the compound.

"Sharon, I-I don't think that's a good idea, I've never-

She cut you off, dragging you to the mat, practically shoving you to the middle with more force than necessary.

"It's fine! I mean, it's good for you to learn since you work here n'all C'mon, I'll help you and show you what to do" Before you could say anything, Sharon had flipped you onto the mat, twisting your arm behind your back without warning. You gasped in pain as she gripped harder, pulling further up your back until she heard your joints crack.

"Let-let go" You winced out, confused over what part of sparring this was, your body hitting the floor when she released her grip.

"Ops" Sharon pouted with faux innocence, taking a long sip from her water while you hissed in pain, seeing the formation of a bruise already forming on your arm.

"SHARON"

Sharon squeaked in surprised at the loud voice that boomed through the gym, bouncing off the walls. Her eyes shot up to see a very angry super solder making his way over to the mat, eyes darkening as they landed to your injured form on the ground.

"What the fuck did you do?!"

"Bucky, we were just-

"Don't" Bucky growled through gritted teeth, rushing over to your side, and slipping his arm around your waist.

"Angel, are you okay?" He cupped your cheek, helping you to your feet and taking your hand in his, examining it with the utmost care. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

"M'all right" You nodded, your face heating up under his gaze, still a little shaken, your body trembling.

"How the fuck could you hurt her" Bucky spat, his metal hand clenched to his side, itching to punch Sharon in the jaw, having seen what she had just done but he didn't want to deal with the mess that would come afterwards. "The hell did you do that for"

"Excuse me? I was just showing her how to-"

Bucky's jaw clenched, instantly shutting her up. He refused to let go of you, keeping you firmly tucked into his side, growing unbelievably protective over you.

"Fine, go ahead, I'm sure she's different from all your other little side pieces" Sharon scoffed, smirking at the way your face fell. Bucky felt like he'd been hit in the chest; you were far more than any of his hook ups and he'd never considered treating you that way.

"You. Don't. Touch. Her" He glared her at before walking off with you. After the incident, Bucky insisted you go to the doctors to get checked over, waiting outside of the room like a kicked puppy. He couldn't help but feel guilty that all this had happened because of him. He also wondered that you thought.

Did you think he'd just use you for one night?

He would never.

He knew he wasn't into dating. He gave up on the dream of getting married, having kids, all that years ago. But that was before he met you. Ever since you'd thrown him a shy smile along with the softest hello Sergeant Barnes, Bucky had been a goner.

If his feelings were was bad before, it was even worse now.

You were told to ice your arm for the pain and swelling. Bucky had swept you away right to the kitchen, despite you telling him you'd be fine, plopping you onto the kitchen island wrapping an ice pack in a towel. He held it to your arm, frowning at the way you refused to look at him, your face downcast to the floor.

"Doll?" Bucky wrapped his arms around you for a comforting hug, wondering if the altercating with Sharon was still upsetting you, "Are you okay sweets? I missed you, haven't seen you in ages"

"I-I'm fine, I'm sorry" You pulled away from his arms, remembering Sharon's words from earlier, instantly missing the warmth of his body. "I know you don't feel the same way Bucky" You bit your lip to keep it from trembling.

Bucky blinked in confusion, having no idea what you were talking about. What did he not feel the same way over.

"What do you mean y/n"

"I mean I like you-but I know you don't like me that way so I kept myself busy so I wouldn't bother you because Sharon said-

"Wait, slow down, what did Sharon say"

You sighed before recounting all the things that had lead to this moment, Sharon insulting you, then telling you to back off, to straight up fighting you.

"Oh doll" Bucky shook his head, feeling worse over what had happened but over the moon over your confessed feelings, "She's right you know," He teased at the pout that made it's way to your lips before playfully pecking them, catching you by surprise.

"I don't do relationships. Certainly never had before. That was before I met the sweetest thing in the world and she's had my heart since" Bucky whispered, his hands, one warm, one cool cupping your cheeks, "She has me dreamin' of sayin' I do and that white picket fence, a ring on her finger, a pretty little baby bump with flowers on the window sill. Maybe a baby boy n' a baby girl. Maybe even a cat. She's the cutest little lab assistance and I'd love for her to be my girl, sweets"

Bucky held your face in his hands, his thumbs caressing over your warm cheeks while you grew bashfully shy, burying your face into his chest instead, making him chuckle.

"I didn't think you were the relationship type" You shrugged, toying with his dog tags, "I'm not you're darlin' Bucky"

"That's cause you're my doll" Bucky tilted your face up making you look up at him, his lips pressing the softest kiss to your nose and then your lips. "My one and only doll"

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sarasade · 5 months

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One of the most generally useful things to come out of Hbomberguy's plagiarism video and Todd in the Shadows' similar video on misinformation is how they bring transparency to the internet phenomenon of "I made up a guy to get mad at".

Seriously, I've seen people make up a lot of stupid shit on the internet over the years and it's often just a manipulative attempt to paint a group of marginalized people in a bad light.

That's the TL;DR version of this post.

ANYWAY here is the long version

Those videos are mostly about James Somerton's plagiarism of other queer people's work. However I'd like to talk about that 20-30% of Somerton's original writing- and oh boy. It's mostly about complaining about White Straight Women and misgendering well-known trans creators such as Rebecca Sugar and calling Becky Albertalli a straight woman while it's pretty common knowledge that she was forced to out herself as bi because she received so much harassment over "being a cishet woman who appropriates LGBT+ stories".

One thing that irks me especially is how in his Killing Stalking and Gay Shipping videos Somerton brings up how straight women/ teen girl shippers exploit gay men for their personal sexual fantasies. This gets brought up several times in his videos.

Being all up and arms about Somerton being a "White Cis Gay Who Hates Women and Queer People tm" is not that useful because the kind of rhetoric he's using is extremely common in fandom and LGBT+ spaces on Tumblr, TikTok and Twitter. We really don't need to bring Somerton's identity to this since he is in no way an unique example.

It's hypocritical to make this about an individual person when I've seen A TON of posts, tweets and videos where queer people talk about these Sinister Straight Women who are supposedly out there fetishizing and exploiting queer men. It's pretty clear to me that this is just an excuse to shit on women and queer people for having any sexual interests. At worst these comments are spreading misinformation about BL, a form of media that has been excessively studied by both Asian feminists and Asian queer women.

This all sounds really familiar and I think it's good that people are calling it out as what it is: misogyny and transphobia. I'd also point out the potentially racist motives behind being this hypervigilant about Asian media.

People can absolutely be misogynist regardless of gender or orientation. I really don't know why we need to create some kind of made up enemy to get mad at. I actually think it's almost sinister how "anti-fujoshi" people call Slash shippers and fujoshi misogynists or claim that they have internalised misogyny while being dismissive about women's interests and creative pursuits under Japanese obscenity laws, China's censorship, book bans in American schools and various other disadvances that are part of being a queer and/or female creator.

I think we shouldn't be naive about the bad faith actors who want to turn queer people against each other. For example Fujoshi.info mentions anti-gender (TERF, GC etc) movement using this kind of rhetoric as well.

Anyway if you want to read more:

- about the false info around BL fandom fujoshi.info

-There is the scholar Thomas Baudinette who studies gay media in Japan. Here is a podcast with him and the scholar Khursten Santos

-James Welker is a BL scholar as well. Here is a podcast interview about the new international BL article collection he edited.

-I've already talked about this Youtube channel by KrisPNatz and his great Killing Stalking video that actually engages with the themes of the manhwa

- There is also HR Coleman's thesis DO NOT FEED THE FETISHIZERS: BOYS LOVE FANS RESISTANCE AND CHALLENGE OF PERCEIVED REPUTATION where she interviews 36 BL fans and actually breaks down why fetishization has become such a huge talking point in the fandom discourse. Spoilers, it's mostly about young queer people and women being worried that they will get judged and pathologized for their interest in anything sexual.

-Great podcast about Danmei and censorship with Liang Ge

#Also I don't mean that you can always tell if someone is a transphobe or a TERF based on a couple of things they have said.#My point is that sometimes ok people can have very regressive ideas too.#This is not a call out post about how we should go around accusing anti-fujoshi people #todd in the shadows #hbomberguy #sarasade text #even I've got those “Fandom is mostly straight women fetishizing gay men” comments once and it begins to sound kind of passive-aggressive #when you're a bi woman. Lot of fandom stats at AO3 show that fandoms are montly bi women. who are these people calling straight exactly hmm #also straight women are completely ok leave them alone. I know I know Yes I'm so brave for saying this #cw: transphobia

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babyleostuff · 4 months

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NANA CUDDLES | JEON WONWOO

dedicated to @wonijinjin

fluff 𐙚 established relationship 𐙚 idol!wonwoo x gn!reader 𐙚 wc: 763

“what are you giggling at?”

without tearing your eyes from the screen, you blindly reached for wonwoo’s hand, giving it a little squeeze. “i've never seen you so unbothered about being shirtless on camera before,” you said amused, unable to look away from your computer. “on national tv may i add.”

he scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest, as if he was trying to make a point. “you would be too if a horde of people barged into your room shoving cameras in your face.”

wonwoo was clearly not as entertained as you were, not that you cared - you were too busy melting over your shirtless boyfriend with the cutest bed hair, who looked like the squishiest (and most confused) dumpling ever.

“i had bigger things to worry about,” he said, and reached for his gaming controller.

“like what?” you could barely hold back your laughter at his pouty expression and the way he spoke in a sulk. offended wonwoo was an endearing wonwoo. no wonder he became Na PD’s favourite child when he acted that cute without even realising.

“like being kidnapped.”

you quickly paused the video, turning your head in your boyfriend’s direction.“that's not an excuse, jeon wonwoo. you were kidnapped to fucking italy!”

“language.”

you hated yourself for how down bad you were for your boyfriend, because oh god, you’d love to punch him for being so annoying sometimes, but you couldn't - instead, you wanted to smooch him all over his kissable face.

“why are you being so mean about it? i never said you looked bad or anything,” you mumbled and resumed the video, sinking further into the sofa. wonwoo sighed softly and you knew something bigger was going on, but you didn't want to argue with him any further if he was going to be so annoying.

out of the corner of your eye, you saw him grab the blanket that was lying next to him and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself - no matter what the temperature was, wonwoo always ended up being cold.

"it was embarrassing. i mean, it is now that i look at it," he mumbled, picking up your computer and without looking at you, he covered your legs with the blanket. “and it’s even more embarrassing seeing you freak over it so much,” he raised his gaze to you, shyly looking at you from behind his glasses that slid to the tip of his nose.

you cooed at him, only now noticing the blush on his cheeks. "i didn't do it to spite you, honey, seriously. you just looked so cute and it's not often you show this side of you when you're on camera,” you said, adjusting his glasses. “seeing you so happy even in such an uncomfortable situation for you,” you sighed, brushing gently some of his hair from his forehead. “i love seeing you like this. happiness looks good on you, wonwoo.”

wonwoo scrunched his nose sweetly, looking down. “thank you,” he said, and leaned towards you, pecking your forehead.

“what are you doing?” you looked up from your book in confusion, watching wonwoo climb into bed.

"i'm going to bed?" he asked with amusement, pulling the covers over him.

"okay, but what are you wearing?" wonwoo couldn't help but laugh. he placed his glasses on the nightstand and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. “a shirt,” he replied and kissed your cheek, settling more comfortably against your side.

"this is some kind of joke, right?"

"what are you talking about, baby?," wonwoo muttered, grabbing his own book.

“you never sleep with your shirt on,” you whined. without even putting the bookmark in the book, you threw it somewhere and knelt next to wonwoo, waiting for an explanation.

"you were so crazy about me being shirtless earlier that i'd rather not take it off now so you don't go insane again. i wouldn't want anything to happen to you, hm," he hummed, patting your thigh, as if that didn’t just make you go nuts.

“wonwoo, please?” you wanted nothing more than to wipe his stupid smirk off his face, you knew he was just teasing you now.

smiling sweetly at you, he grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, throwing it to the ground. "better?" he asked, amused. you wanted to scream yes, but instead you threw yourself at him and snuggled into his side, finding your usual place in the crook of his neck. “much better,” you huffed happily.

“oh baby,” wonwoo murmured, kissing your temple.

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @soul-is-a-strange-kid @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @wonvsmile @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds

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bleedingoptimism · 5 months

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Steve likes to watch youtube videos of a guy who restores old consoles. It soothing to him, it relaxes him. He likes watching how he restores them, fixes them, makes them look brand new.

He also enjoys watching him work for… other reasons. Weirdly, he thinks the guy is kind of hot, even if he never shows his face. He looks fit, with the way his shirts stretch over his chest and are loose on his tiny waist and he’s always wearing cool belts, black leather with studs or chains. He likes the way he moves around, manic and a little clumsy but incredibly precise when necessary.

Steve especially likes watching his hands, thick strong fingers, bony wrists, noticeable veins, and short clean nails that sometimes have chipped black polish adorning them.

He sometimes thinks about those hands when he's alone, but, well… no one needs to know about that.

🎮🤲💖

Eddie has a fairly popular youtube channel… And a huge crush on his next-door neighbor. He simply cannot decide if the dude is cutter than hot or vice-versa.

'He sure is nice, though,' he thinks, when one day he gets a large package of replacement parts that he’s struggling to get inside and the guy walks up to him, asks if he needs any help, and takes the heaviest box with no effort at all.

He says his name is Steve and then stares at Eddie's hand for a really long time when Eddie extends it for him to shake after getting the boxes inside his studio.

He hears Steve’s little 'oh', under his breath and then sees him blush prettily before mumbling ‘He needs to go, now.' And stumbling out of Eddie’s place.

Eddie chuckles to himself as he watches him leave, definitely cute AND hot in equal parts.

🎮🤲💖

A few weeks later Steve's mom tells him she needs help getting rid of some of his nonno's old things and he finds a LOT of cool stuff that look just like the ones Eddie restores on his channel.

He and Eddie have been slowly getting friendlier over these last couple of weeks and he’s been dying to have an excuse to talk to him more, so he takes the items home and then goes to Eddie's and very nervously tries to offer them to him but doesn't know how to explain he knows he's a youtuber without looking like a weirdo because Eddie’s never shown his face.

He stumbles and blushes a lot, barely making any sense and Eddie mistakenly thinks he's trying to ask him out and says,

"I'd love to go on a date with you," Smiling and hiding his dimples behind a lock of hair he's been playing with since the moment Steve started stuttering.

Steve completely forgets what he was trying to say or do and says he'll pick him out at 6.

The date is amazing, it feels like they are meant to be. They get along so well, talking, laughing, and already making fun of each other as if they’re old friends. And they are definitely attracted to one another. If the way Eddie practically tackles Steve with his rush to get his mouth on him when they get back, it’s any indication.

Steve is very on board with this and he enthusiastically kisses him back. They kiss desperately as he fumbles with his door handle to get it open. When he succeeds, he walks them backward into his place not wanting to stop kissing Eddie, but stumbles and falls flat on his ass.

When Eddie turns on the light he sees Steve sprawled on top of a bunch of boxes full of old technology. A lot of emotions go through his face, ‘he’s so expressive’ Steve thinks a little enamored, having still not realized how much trouble he’s in.

But Eddie looks confused, then shocked and scared, and finally, angry,

"Steve, what the fuck?"

‘Oh, shit…’

“I can explain!” he says immediately, standing up and walking toward Eddie as he backs away,

“I didn’t want to ask you out-” Steve starts but interrupts himself when Eddie huffs, turns, and starts walking towards his own apartment, “Shit, fuck! No- That’s not what I meant, Eddie! Wait-”

He turns again and glares at Steve but then his eyes go wide, “Steve,”

“Please, let me explain-”

“Steve-”

“I did- do! Want to ask you out! I like yo-”

“Steve!” Eddie screams and Steve stops, shocked, and finally focuses. Eddie is staring at him and he’s so pale even his freckles have changed color. But no, wait. He’s not staring at him, he’s staring at his arm and Steve looks down to see… a lot of blood.

“Oh,” he says faintly. He must have cut himself on a sharp edge when he fell. Too worried about Eddie, he hadn’t even noticed the pain, but now that he’s seeing the cut, it fucking hurts.

“Oh,” he says again, realizing he’s feeling kind of dizzy, ‘that's way too much blood,’ he thinks.

“Jesus Christ!” Eddie huffs, takes off his flannel shirt and wrapping it around Steve's arm, he pulls Steve by his other hand toward his van.

“Oh no, your cute shirt,” he mumbles and hears Eddie snort before he slams the door of the passenger seat and goes to the driver’s one.

They go to the hospital in silence. It's tense. Steve tries to explain himself but Eddie shuts him up harshly, tells him to save his energy.

Even so, when they get there, Eddie still holds him gently by his good arm as he helps him inside. He tells the nurse what happened because Steve is having a hard time focusing right now and then tells him he’ll wait outside for him.

He gets stitches and a tetanus shot just in case because he doesn't remember when was the last time he got one and gets weird looks when he refuses painkillers, but no arguments. He’s given a little juice box and is told he can't get up until he finishes it.

A few seconds after the nurse leaves, the door opens and Eddie walks in. Steve looks up and smiles at him, but Eddie doesn’t smile back and Steve shrinks a little on himself.

Eddie sits on the chair facing the overbed table Steve is perched on and sighs, moving his hand in little circles motioning like, ‘Well go on. Explain yourself’

Steve looks around the room and thinks about where to start. He can't look Eddie in the eye, so he stares at the little juice box in his hands. It's got a cartoon orange in the front. The drawing it’s awful and kind of scary.

Taking a deep breath, he starts, “I've been watching your videos for a long time now. I have- I am- I-”

He fumbles for what to say, even if this date is already ruined…it's not exactly a good first date topic, is it? How fucked up he’s inside.

In a flash, images of his father’s violence, running from home with his mom, going to live with his nonno, taking care of him as he slowly lost his mind with age while his mom worked her ass off to feed them, getting cheated on, losing his “friends” because he didn't want to bully freshmen, working as a babysitter and getting almost beat up to death by his kid’s stepbrother… he shakes his head and shrugs,

“I've been through some…stuff” is what he says in the end, looking up at Eddie. He doesn't look mad anymore, his expressive eyes look concerned. Steve worries about what was it Eddie saw in his own expression, but it surprises him how easily he read him. He’s usually so good at hiding it.

He breathes in again and keeps going, “Your videos, they calm me down when I've, sometimes I get anxious and-” he clears his throat, again, not wanting to tell Eddie about the panic attacks, the nightmares.

But it seems he doesn't have to, Eddie looks at him like he gets it.

It makes Steve want to keep talking, “Watching you work, seeing you fix things, leave them like new, no sca- marks, no problems, just working again and beautifully clean. It makes me feel better.”

Eddie gives him a small smile and Steve returns it, “I really like your hands…” he blurts out and then closes his mouth quickly, blushing furiously.

Eddie’s eyes go wide and then he smirks and stands up slowly walking up to him and taking Steve’s hands on his own, they both stare at their joined hands for a while, the touch feather-like and soft.

“You recognized me because of my hands?” Eddie asks him a little incredulous.

Steve giggles, “I saw the logo for your channel on your studio that day I helped you with the boxes,” he clarifies sheepishly.

Eddie blushes and opens his mouth in a silent ‘oh,’

Steve draws small circles on Eddie's knuckles with his thumbs, “When I came over today, I was just trying to offer you those stuff at my place, they were my grandfather's” he explains, “I didn’t know how to say I knew who you were without looking like a weirdo and I got nervous and you thought I was going to ask you out and I wasn’t planning to but you are so beautiful I-

Eddie kisses his cheek and Steve shuts up and looks at him surprised,

“I’m sorry I freaked out,” Eddie says, “I thought- I don’t know what I thought- I was just upset you didn’t actually like me.”

And Steve immediately answers, “I like you” a little too excitedly.

Eddie smiles at him so warmly it makes his heart rate pick up, “Good. I like you too.”

He blushes and looks down at their hands again unsure, “Do you really? Even tho I’m…”

“What?” Eddie asks, squeezing his hands reassuringly.

“Broken?” Steve whispers.

Eddie hums and drops his hands to hold his face, “Not broken, baby” he says lovingly and kisses the crease between Steve’s brows, the top of his eyelid, his nose, and the corner of his mouth. Then hugs him and Steve buries his face on Eddie's neck, and breathes him in.

A minute goes by or an hour, Steve is not sure, and Eddie leans back enough to kiss him again softly and whispers, “Some things don't need to be fixed Steve, just held.”

𝒻𝒾𝓃

coffee? a hug? ☕🥐💕

#stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #i wrote something #modern au #trying out this new read more feature i hope it works!#im kidding #i do hope people click for the rest tho this goes places

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orchidbreezefc · 8 days

Text

ok. years have passed and we've had some distance, so i'm finally gonna take the leap of faith that tma fandom is finally ready to hear me on this. let's talk about tannins.

161 was the first tma episode i heard on early release, and i felt the bit where martin declines wine and cites tannins was pretty obvious in its implications. cool, got it, say no more.

imagine my surprise when i was one of maybe three people i saw read between the lines there, in a fandom famous for red stringing--a fandom that immediately caught the much less obvious thread of ignition sources in the same episode. i'll spell it out: alcohol is an issue for martin.

maybe it just felt obvious because addiction is a pet issue for me--as it is for jonny, who has said everything he writes is filtered through a lens of addiction. i don't know if that's due to his own experience or a loved one's, and i won't speculate; i also don't know if martin personally struggled with drinking or just avoids it for fear he would, but alcohol would fit what we know of his family. his dad walking out and his mum spiralling into bitter wallowing and verbal abuse? i'd bet one or both of them drank, yeah.

on a basic level martin tries to decline alcohol, and that alone should have raised eyebrows given what we know of martin and, again, a fandom that dissects everything. we already knew martin "K" blackwood lied about his personal life and his family in particular, especially pre-canon, which is when this flashback took place. i was shocked that everyone took his flimsy excuse at face value with no further questions.

and the excuse is flimsy. martin turns down wine by--nervously--exclaiming tannins are "a proven headache trigger!" which sounds like trivia from a magazine cover and not the words of someone who actually has headaches--and it hasn't come up before or since. jon, confused, points out that tea, a drink martin consumes to a degree that is memetic both in- and out-of-universe, also contains tannins, and martin squawks a panicked, "what?!"

if tannins are enough of a concern for martin that he knew they're in wine and so avoids it, why didn't he know they're in his drink of choice? why does he still drink tea at the time of canon, and why doesn't he struggle with constant headaches from consuming 'a proven headache trigger' day in and day out? why, indeed, would someone avoid wine and not tea?

when sasha insists martin drink he caves and agrees to 'just a drop'. i imagine him pouring it in a plant, which admittedly he could have done if tannins really were the issue. i will say that i, for one, would be less likely to falsely agree to something that makes me physically ill than to a private issue that i'd rather not be pressed on any further. this scene also establishes martin's birthday was an ice cream party instead of the more traditional visit to a pub.

also, this scene was in the first episode of the final season, as one of three flashbacks that could have been to any pre-canon event in the archives. prime narrative real estate. not really time one would waste on establishing the important character context that martin has... headaches. which never comes up before or after, even regarding the week he spent in spiral town. but you know what is pretty crucial character background...?

it felt like a no-brainer, and yet all i saw was h/c fluff about jon attending to martin's headaches. and i hate feeling bitter about disability representation. i want folks with chronic headaches to feel seen and have fluffy escapist fantasies. i don't want to be mad about people portraying a character with a disability. but, guys? you got the wrong disability. jonny sent a clear message, and it went over fandom's head.

#martin blackwood #tma #the magnus archives #tma meta #the magnus archives meta #tma 161 #mag161 #sage speaks #sage original post #meta #im sure others caught it that i didnt see but listen. i was DEEP in the fandom. people getting it made up maybe 1% of the response i saw #and i had people fighting me for saying it #alcohol cw #alcoholism cw #addiction cw #greatest hits #wonderful news: tma fandom WAS ready to hear me say this!

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