#I wish we all lived in the same neighbourhood

[inuyashaluver]

hi! could you write something for maya le tissier where she has an athlete gf for a sport like tennis or something and goes to one of her games? <3

ace - maya le tissier

maya le tissier x reader

description: in which you and your girlfriend are each other’s biggest fans

warnings: a little long? i think that’s it!

a/n: maya baby! thanks so much for the request, enjoyyy❤️

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if someone told you and your girlfriend’s childhood selves that you both would not only live out your dreams of being together, but pursuing your lifelong passions as well, they’d have a heart attack.

you and maya, two peas in a pod have been absolutely inseparable since you were kids, growing up together in guernsey.

maya had always been drawn to football, having to play in the boys team just for some play time.

whereas, for you, it's always been tennis. you both met in school, running around crazily and excitedly during sports that no one seemed to enjoy. you quickly gravitated towards each other and never stopped from then on.

growing up in the same neighbourhood proved to be extremely beneficial for the two of you, countless afternoons spent at each other’s houses, chatting, laughing, yearning.

—

maya laid down a soft blanket in her backyard, the stars shining above as you came out with a tray of snacks in hand.

maya smiles when she sees you, hurriedly emptying your hands and ushering you to sit down. you both laughed and conversed, the pining glances almost unbearable when the other wouldn’t notice.

you lay down next to each other, your head resting on maya’s bicep as you both looked up at the stars. the cool breeze brushed against your skin but the warmth radiating from both of your bodies was all you needed.

maya would point out constellations to you, not in a scientific way but the maya way, making crazy pictures out of them just to hear your laugh.

“these are all your ancestors, star girl, say hi” maya teases, lifting up your hand and waving it excitedly, you laugh brightly, slapping her chest lightly as she giggles.

“says you, superstar” you mock, snuggling into her a little further when she pulled you closer slightly.

you and maya talked back and forth, about all your dreams, what you wanted to see the other doing in the future, swearing with a pinky promise the two of you would try your hardest to get there.

—

your friendship only blossomed as the two of you got older, even in high school the two of you proved to still be attached at the hip. so much so, people were questioning whether the two of you were dating. you both wished you were but were too scared.

you both joined better teams and facilities, still making an effort to spend all your free time together whenever you could. you and maya were each other's biggest supporters, through the thick and thin. celebrating the wins and the losses with a big hug which eased both of your worries.

—

“star girl!” maya beams brightly, holding her arms out to you as you walk into her embrace after a rare loss of a match. your head was nuzzled into her chest, the girl whispering words of praise to you as she gently rubbed up and down your back with her warm hand.

“i lost” you mumble against her training hoodie, “doesn’t matter, you were amazing as usual” maya says sternly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you hug her tightly.

you weren’t a sore loser, not at all, but there was something so gratifying about winning a match, especially if you knew maya was watching, the girl coming immediately after training just in time for your match.

you allow yourself to be vulnerable with maya, something she did with you too. there was no judgement, only love and support when your walls would break down.

you breathe out sadly against her and maya frowns a little, pulling you to be at arm's length from her. “should we go get some ice cream?” maya smiles softly, moving a stray hair bothering your eyes away, you pout up at her slightly and she would love nothing more than to kiss it away but she couldn’t.

“not sure i deserve it” you sigh, maya moves her hand to lightly flick your forehead, making you jolt back as she stifled a giggle, “of course you do, come on” she moves her hands to rest on your biceps, giving them a gentle squeeze before grabbing all your stuff in her arms despite your numerous protests.

a sharp glare was sent your way when your hand attempted to grab your racket bag, dropping your hand with a huff “may, you’re tired, let me hold it,” you groan, maya shakes her head with a chuckle, “so are you” she taunts, you shut your mouth at that, you were exhausted, not just physically.

you were instantly cheered up when maya took you for ice cream, maya proud of her work when you couldn’t stop smiling as she dropped you off home.

you pull her into a tight hug when she walked you to your door, “thank you” you whisper, kissing her cheek quickly, continuing to hold onto her tightly.

“anytime, babe” she says softly, her hands comfortingly pressed against your back before reluctantly letting you go.

—

you and maya both had a mutual understanding that you liked each other, it was pretty obvious with the amount of affection you had for one another.

though your relationship didn’t progress yet, both of you waiting to see who would make that first move. and funnily enough, maya did it by accident when you were both 17.

you give her a bright wave when she finally sees you from the pitch during the line up, she grins at you brightly and sends you an equally excited wave, gaining some teasing from her teammates that she shook off like it was nothing.

whenever you were at each other’s games, you played better than ever, wanting to impress one another, in reality, you could both just sit in silence and the other would be in absolute awe.

maya had placed exceptionally well, hearing you cheer for her loudly amongst everyone else. her team had won an easy 2-0 match, and when that final whistle blew, maya didn’t waste any time and bounded over to you.

when she approached you, she noticed you with her number written neatly on your cheek, her heart beating out of her chest as she took in your appearance, in your tennis gear that she loved.

“hi, gorgeous” she says as she nears you standing on the other side of the barrier, “hey, champion” you tease, a proud smile evident on your face.

maya chuckles, without thinking, cradling your cheek in her hand and pressing a quick, tender kiss to your lips, your breath hitched when you felt her warm lips against yours, tensing when she pulled away with an expression of horror.

“oh my god” she breathes out, “i’m so sorry, oh my god, i am so sorry, i wasn’t thinking!” she rambles, you blink at her slowly, slightly dazed.

her rambling continues while you just stare at her in slight shock, hearing apologies spill from her lips as she hyperventilates.

“may” you say softly, her eyes finally meeting yours as her breathing began to settle. “it’s okay” you smile, feeling a little brave and pressing a quick kiss to her lips. she’s bright red when you pull away, so were you but you really didn’t care.

you both just smile at each other for a couple of seconds before breaking out into large fits of giggles, maya pulling you into a tight embrace, a wordless confirmation for the both of you that forever just started.

—

when maya got signed to manchester united, you luckily got a new contract and coach lined up in manchester and you just couldn’t decline.

you both moved into an apartment that just radiated love and warmth. elements of you and maya imbued in the residence.

you and maya were highly established athletes, you’d won countless amounts of championships and grand slams that you couldn’t even display the trophies anymore.

maya as well was extremely well decorated, countless amounts of awards and accomplishments that struggled to be displayed as well.

and even though you and maya were incredibly passionate about sport, it always came a close second to the real first places in your hearts, each other.

you and maya always found beauty in the simple things in your lives, bundling up at home after a gruelling time at training. literally lying on top of each other as you cuddled, tuning out the rest of the world while you’d both lazily kiss away any worries of the day, the gentle lull of your shared favourite movie filling out the sounds of the room.

a frequent activity you and maya loved to do on the weekend being hand in hand exploring, whether it was a new cafe or just a walk around your street, you only needed the company of each other to feel that feeling of home. safety.

—

“baby?” she called out from the front door, smiling as she heard you running from the living room to see her standing in the entryway.

you waist no time jumping on the girl, she laughs brightly as she catches you by your thighs, her cheeks tinged with pink when you spread kisses all over her cheeks, purposely avoiding her lips.

“i missed you” you breathe out, maya smiles fondly, “i saw you this morning” she teases, you hush her with a sweet kiss to her lips, your mouths moving together softly before she places you back on the ground,

“missed you too, beautiful” she grins, pressing another kiss to your lips before hanging her keys on the hook next to her door and hurriedly taking off her shoes as you went back to the living room.

she quickly gets changed and smiles when she feels you hugging her from the back in your bedroom

“make dinner with me?” you mumble against her back, “of course” she says like it was obvious, waiting for you to spin around so she could playfully smack your backside, giggling when you sent her a halfhearted glare.

you did most of the work but maya helped diligently, helping you cut the vegetables for the pasta dish the two of you were making. moments like these were your favourite with maya, the little parts of life that made your heart feel fuzzy.

you stir the sauce gently as maya begins to huff in annoyance, “now what?” she groans, you laugh at her over your shoulder, “you wait now, baby” you smile, “let me stir” she demands, “no, you did it last time!” you laugh, maya comes up behind you and plants her hands firmly on your hips, relishing in the fact your outfit of choice was one of her jerseys.

she leans down to jokingly bite your shoulder, chuckling when you flinch under her, you stop stirring for a second and maya immediately takes over, claiming you weren’t good at your job.

you were sulking next to her, maya shaking her head amusingly as she picked you up and placed you on the counter next to her, one of her hands gently resting on your thigh as you both chatted about your days, talking about upcoming matches you both had slowly approaching.

maya would occasionally steal kisses amongst the laughter and the chatting, not that you were complaining, letting out a happy sigh against her lips when she kissed you a little longer, making her smile uncontrollably.

once dinner was ready, you both eat on the couch watching a romcom you’ve both watched a hundred times. a mutual favourite between the both of you. you and maya would quote the script to each other, laughing brightly at the movie.

by the time you’d both finished eating, you rest your head against her shoulder while you cuddled into her, giggling when maya would recreate the cringe moments in the movie to you just to hear you laugh.

whenever kiss scenes would come up, maya would scoff, always waiting for you to entertain her.

“he doesn’t know how to kiss a woman properly” maya shrugs, making you laugh and quickly shutting up when her head snapped towards you. “fine, i’ll prove it” maya grabbing your face and smashing her lips on yours, a kiss making you feel weak in the knees and completely light headed.

when she pulled away, she gave you a smug smile, winking and watching the movie like nothing even happened. funnily enough, she did this every time you watched this movie, you’re not complaining.

—

you were playing at wimbledon, maya couldn’t be more excited. you were already in london when maya had to stay back in manchester due to training, driving over as quick as she could to get there on time.

excitement bubbled in her veins when she entered the iconic wimbledon stadium, growing a little teary when she saw a picture of you for the final match, dressed completely in white according to the rules. maya snapped a photo of it, smiling brightly when she makes her way to your box.

she sits alongside your family, happily chatting while her leg bounced nervously as she waited to see you.

the cheers that echoed in the stadium when your name was called had her heart lurching, her eyes never leaving you as you walked out on the court completely composed .

maya always found you so attractive in times like this, never failing to remind you later on. you do the same thing when you watch her defending.

you just radiated confidence and determination when you took your step up on the court, highlighting why you were one of the best with each precise swing of your racket.

maya admired your skill, moments like these making her love you more than she ever could, endless. when you’d win a set, maya would cheer for you loudly with your family, bringing a little smile on your face when you could decipher her voice.

despite the pressure and intensity, you completely kept your cool, winning set for set when your focus was unwavering, executing each swing perfectly.

with a final breathtaking stroke, you sealed the title, when the match concluded, tears immediately welled in both yours and maya’s eyes, the crowd exploding into deafening cheers as your name was announced on the loudspeaker.

maya watched on proudly as you waved to the crowd, bowing to them and giving your opponent a warm hug in congratulations.

when you hoisted up that trophy, you looked straight at maya, both of you sporting bright grins as the cheers faded from your ears, the only thing mattering was each other.

as soon as all the formalities were over, maya rushed towards you, hoisting you up in a bone crushing hug. you cry into her shoulder as she cradles your head, whispering sweet nothings in you ear as you held on tight.

“my baby girl, so amazing, i’m so proud of you” maya says adoringly, her heart swelling with pride as she wiped away your happy tears. “i’m so happy you’re here, my lucky charm” you grin, your eyes glistening with gratitude when maya presses gentle kisses to your lips.

“you looked so good out there, you know?” maya smirks, her hand reaching to tug at the hem of your white skirt.

you laugh brightly at her, pulling her into another sweet kiss, “had to look pretty for my wag” you tease, maya chuckles, kissing your cheek affectionately, “my wag, my star girl” she says proudly, pulling you into another hug.

—

you both walked out of the stadium hand in hand, your hearts were full. maya boasted about you to your face and you couldn’t help but be sheepish around her compliments.

you had a taste of that pride when you watched maya play for manchester, wearing her jersey with a proud grin as you cheered loudly.

you and maya were each others biggest fans, and you both didn’t want it any other way.

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liked by ellatoone and 44,232 others

mayaletissier: i think i’ll stick to ball girl, wimbledon champ is too good for me

view all comments

yourname: hey, i think you’re good

↳ mayaletissier: don’t lie to me, you’re my girlfriend. you’re not supposed to lie.

↳ yourname: you’re a banging footballer, baby

↳ mayaletissier: i think i need private tennis lessons from a fit champion

↳ yourname: hm, i think i know someone

↳ mayaletissier: i think i can get you a private football coach too

↳ yourname: better be fit

#woso #woso community #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso one shot #woso imagine #maya le tissier #maya le tissier x reader

[ddoxhan]

that summer

draw me in your world, as you let yourself into mine let me be your safe haven, for I love when you shine

word count : 4.8k words

genre : fluff with a tinge of angst; your typical summer love story but haerin does not feel the same way you do for her?; runner! haerin x literature student! fem!reader; you are an overthinker and sometimes just wish you stop thinking

t/w : none :)

a/n : this is the longest i've ever written for a oneshot and honestly, i didn't want to split it up cause i wanted yall to feel the whole thing at one go. enjoy !

"haerin-ah, wait up!"

"you're just slow! we're gonna be late if we don't hurry!"

you swore you needed to wake up earlier to avoid having to rush to school, especially when haerin waits for you every day to walk together. at this point, the two of you had been running to class for three days in a row now, not walk. to your surprise, the girl has never complained or grumbled about how you would make her almost miss the bell. but then again, she's always been like that. haerin was never someone who wouid let out her anger on you or anyone in general. you've never seen her get angry, concluding that she just doesn't know how to.

the said girl turned her head around while not faltering in her rushed steps, making sure you're keeping up with her speed. but the thing is, she's the school's top runner and you barely pass your required tests for physical education. haerin knows, which was why she opted to drag you along by your hand. the sudden grab left you slightly taken aback. well, slight is an understatement, you were very taken aback. especially when you have the most obvious crush on her.

you've always had a crush on haerin ever since you were 12. it just happened so when she saved you from some bullies, aka silly boys, running away from them as you two rest at the neighbourhood playground after. she sat you on the swing while you cried in both fear and relief. but all the fear washed away when she flashed you a smile that you never forgot till this day. the way her eyes curved up and her snaggletooth showed with that big smile of hers, that's when you fell for her.

as you busied yourself in your own world, you once again arrived at the school gate right before they closed it off, with some students sighing at how they missed it by a split second behind it. a slow realization hit that you've ran to your limit, you tried taking deep breaths but it might have made it worse. sometimes you wished you were more athletic, for these kind of situations, and also to spend more time with haerin if you were in the track and field team.

"hey, try breathing with both your nose and mouth, it can help."

the girl in front of you looks unfazed, as if she just went for a relaxing morning jog. which isn't entirely wrong as you don't live too far from school. you stand up straight again, doing what she told you to. it actually did help but as she glanced at her watch, you understood what it meant.

"go on, don't be late for class because of me."

"it's fine, there's still some time. I'll go with you."

although you were very sure classes starts in 3 minutes, you didn't argue further as it just meant you get to spend more time although it's just minutes. when the two of you were put into different classes, the time spent together reduced drastically plus haerin's training after class on some days. it was just lunch and maybe weekends if she didn't have extra training. but you felt bad for wanting her to spend her only free day with you, so you try to refrain from jumping onto her bed during some weekends.

why is it so hard to just spend some time with her?

lunch came. and that meant you get to see haerin again after the last time before classes started. at this point, you were just too infatuated with her that you were experiencing some sort of separation anxiety that you can't seem to quite explain. there's nothing you can do about it, you were just that in love with her.

but you did not guess for her to walk along to the cafeteria with him. him who? him, woonhak, the heartthrob who happens to be almost as good as haerin in the track and field team. everyone who sees them walking down the corridor would literally stop to look at how good they look together. it's to the point that they gush over the possible relationship they should have.

you were one of the people who'd look too, but you were always left slightly upset and heartbroken whenever you heard such comments. for sure, woonhak didn't do anything other than walk with her because he likes to ask and learn from haerin when it comes to running. there was no one to blame for your feelings except yourself. and at times, you just wished you could just like someone else cause the pain gets unbearable.

"hey froggie! how was class?"

it might sound like you're being selfish, but you wished haerin only ever smiles at you like that. that smile, the very same one you fell for and also the one that makes your heart clench a little. not to mention the nickname, it makes you feel as if she sees you nothing more than just a friend.

"the same. mr park is giving out work, again. I'm not surprised anyways."

"how about you?"

you swore you saw how her eyes sparkled a little when she started telling you about hers. but you don't feel that much good inside after.

"oh! you know woonhak right? him and I got chosen to be interviewed for a promotional video for the school."

"oh, him..."

"sorry, did you say something?"

"ah, yeah I know him."

"yup him, we agreed to meet on sunday to prepare ahead of the interview. I'm sorry if you wanted to come over."

"no don't be, it's fine. I can just work on mr park's project on sunday."

"but still, it feels weird that I won't be around."

"oh come on, it's literally just a few hours! and before you know it, you'll be back and I can come over if you want."

"this is why you're my best friend, I can always count on you."

well, that hurt a lot. you didn't know if it was intentional or just coincidental as she manages to throw your urge to confess out of the window every time it surfaces. all you could hope was that she didn't take notice of your feelings, or else you swear you'd never be able to face her again. the very last thing you need is for this friendship with her to shatter to the ground like glass. but you knew, the moment you fell for her, you were already walking on thin ice.

"what do they have for lunch today?"

"kimchi fried rice, today has your favourite strawberry milk."

picking up yours, you shaked it to tempt her to quickly go get hers and come have her food with you. and so she did.

whenever it came to her favourite food, she always looks like a cute little kitten who's hungry all the time. and when she spots them, she'd rush to get it and sit with you with an adorable smile plastered on her face as she eats or drinks away. you wish you were able to be someone who makes her that happy too, but along with those thoughts were the heavy consequences of your confession.

whatever you two have built throughout these many years will just shatter like glass, into fragile pieces that will not be able to be pieced together again. even if it could be pieced together again, nothing can stay the same.

for now, you'll keep it to yourself. nothing has shifted between you and haerin, so you shouldn't too.

you have no idea what the hell you're doing right now. what kind of situation is this, you don't know.

"you told me we were gonna work on that project. as far as I know, this is not part of the project."

"I know, but just, we'll work on it after. for now, I just need you to accompany me."

"bro, this feels so illegal to be spying on someone."

"I'm just making sure that boy isn't doing anything to haerin."

"you know they're like the most shipped couple in school right? and woonhak's a really nice person."

"you never know."

all dani could do was roll her eyes at how dumb you look, she looks, with this so called disguise that barely covered their identity. she told you the shades were not it when it's practically indoors, and how it literally makes them stand out even more. at times like this, she questions herself why she's friends with you, and why she's willing to be in this with you. overall you were a great person, just not when you get too overprotective of the girl you love.

"if you're just gonna snoop around, you might as well just confess."

the moment you heard the word 'confess', the coffee you were drinking through your mouth came out through your nose. dani didn't know whether to laugh or help you wipe the table cause that was the reenactment of that 'the incredibles' meme of violet. maybe this was why she was friends with you.

"w-what do you mean?"

"you're too obvious to not notice each and every time you zoom out of class to have lunch with haerin. and zoom out again when the bell rings so you can head over to the gym hall to watch her practice."

"bro why didn't you tell me?!"

"tell you what? that you're like an idiot in love but the person you love doesn't seem to feel the same way?"

"I am not an idiot! but I definitely am in love..."

the mood suddenly shifted to somewhat gloomy as those words left your mouth. admitting that you had feelings for haerin to someone else for the first time didn't feel much extravagant than you thought. it wasn't that what you felt wasn't real or overwhelming, they very much were. but the thought of her not reciprocating them, broke you a little on the inside.

you've always imagined being by her side throughout university till the day you'd grow old and get a small house in the countryside. if it were the best friend context, things would have been fine. but you want to be there for her as someone she loves, too. as cheesy as it sounds, just the two of you against the world and no one can stop you.

reality begged to differ when you see how happy she is now as she picks up some clothes from the racks in a store. with woonhak smiling down at her. you couldn't deny that they look good together, way to good that it was believable if haerin told you they started dating after this date. the more you saw the two of them together, the more it was harder to imagine you being the one who would be making her happy.

although you've known her for so long, you weren't one to express your feelings through words. 'actions speak louder than words' was the motto you've lived with all this time. but this love thing takes more than that. being a literature student did not help with that vast range of vocabulary cause there was no point of preparing a confession. it has to come from the heart, and that's what makes it so hard.

"..."

"they left by the way."

your head whipped to the direction of the store they were in, and the last spot you saw them at was indeed empty.

"let's go then! you better saw where they are heading."

not even allowing dani to finish her chocolate drink, you dragged her along to chase after the two. they were definitely fast, very fitting to be in the track and field team. and dani did not sign up for this.

in the end, dani had to drag you out of that mall before you ended up actually stalking those two poor souls. you were definitely not pleased with that decision but you two had a project to attend to, so you placed whatever that's disturbing to the back of your head. although it was sort of futile.

"well, at least we got half of this done, sorta."

"we can meet again tomorrow after school to finish it up if you want."

the australian squinted her eyes at you, as if trying to question your intention. she had the right to after what you pulled off today.

"for real, this time. I kinda want to get this over with and watch haerin practice."

"you better keep your promise."

giving a salute, all dani could do was chuckle at your attempt to lighten the mood with your antics. how can she not love someone like you when all you do was make everyone around you smile?

"hey, do you think it's possible that haerin would have feelings for me? even the slightest bit?"

"I don't see why not. you're a nice kid."

"the definition of nice is different for everyone, and so it is for me."

the older took a seat next to you on the bed, putting down her books on your study desk. when the topic about your feelings for haerin surface each time, you can't help but let your real self seep out a little, the happy-go-lucky facade faltering.

"you know, you don't have to be nice to be liked by anyone."

"but that doesn't mean I can be bad either."

"you know I don't mean it that way. it's just that, whether the person is nice or not, if you like them, you just do."

"that's true..."

it was feeling a little weird to talk about this with someone, but you were glad that it was dani. she was like an older sister figure that you could rely on whenever you needed her.

"you love haerin. and do you love her because she's nice? or because it's her?"

as you registered her words in your brain, you couldn't help but feel hopeful all over again, even after seeing those two at the mall today. maybe, they really are just friends. maybe, haerin does like you a little. maybe, you should confess.

you were so lost in your own thoughts that you couldn't feel the presence next to you, slowly clasping your hands. dani looked at you really endearingly, as if you were the person she cherished the most in the world.

"whatever you do, I'd be here to support, okay?"

giving her a reassuring nod and grin, dani's heart swelled at how your mood was lifted again. all she wants to see was you smile, regardless of who's behind it.

"FROGGIE!"

the shout from across your bedroom door grabbed your attention as your eyes darted towards it. as it swung open, the very person you two were talking about barged through to throw you into a hug. along with dani cause haerin knows her too.

"unnie! what are you doing here? the project?"

"hmm, we were just tidying up cause it's getting late."

the older slipped out from the embrace to finish packing her stuff to leave those two to their own world. maybe one day, she'd be able to find someone she loves too.

"bye unnie!"

"dani, I'll let you know what time tomorrow."

"yup sure, just ping me when you're done."

as dani left when she saw your thumbs up, you're tackled into another hug. you were wondering why she was being extra clingy after that date with woonhak. did woonhak confess to her? was she being shy about it? is she gonna tell you something? you were overthinking a lot of things and it wasn't a good sign cause that just means you're going to start doubting every single action haerin takes.

"I missed you."

you wish you would just disintegrate into dust at this very moment. everything that has happened today had already put your brain and feelings into overdrive. and for her to say this, made your heart feel heavier than ever. you didn't know why, it just didn't feel all that good although you did miss her too. but the words just can't seem to fall from your lips.

all you could do was look away and nod. because if you were to look at her, you think you are going to cry and confuse her even further.

"I should go shower first, it's been a long day."

"then we can cuddle!"

haerin slipped away from the embrace into your bathroom. with her belongings scattered around your room, it makes you feel even dizzier from all these crashing feelings. it's as if you are itching to confess to her or else you'd combust for real. that was why you could only keep your mouth shut, or everything would be over.

for now again, you try your best to act normal in front of her. for your own sake, for her sake, and to keep this friendship the way it has been this whole time.

everything went on like normal. you and dani wrapped up that damn project mr park gave, having lunch with haerin every day, spending your time watching her practice, hanging out every weekend. but as haerin's competition was approaching, she spends more time at the gym hall, even during weekends at times. you can't blame her when she's the top in her team.

this competition was utmost important for her as many big companies scout at this particular one. meaning that if she does well, she may have a chance of signing with one. but that means that she would have to move to the city if that does happen.

you were afraid to lose her. sure, you two would still be friends even if she was miles away. so that's exactly what you're afraid of, staying friends. you knew you had no guts to confess to her anytime soon. if haerin leaves, you will still be here. you can't imagine how it will be without her, because you've spent your entire life with her by your side.

even today, you're in your room as haerin is training more as days are left till the competition. divided between confessing or not, you wrote down all the things you want to get for her on your laptop. the tomato frog that she loves so much, a printed sweater with a cat, a couple bracelet that she had her eye on last month. you remembered everything like you knew the back of your hand. it wasn't intentional, but you just did. not to mention that you had quite bad memory that you took a week to remember your seatmate's name.

you were going to do it. you were going to confess. it took you years to finally make that decision and you want it to be perfect. what did it mean by perfect, you don't know. it was your first time, but you just wanted it to be from the bottom of your heart. regardless of whether haerin would reciprocate the feelings, you came to an agreement with yourself that it was fine if she didn't. she was going to move away when she wins that competition so it would just mean that you two stay friends. friends who are apart from each other.

although it may take time to heal, it was going to be fine. not everything in life can go smoothly, and you were willing to take the risk. it was unfair for both you and her. you couldn't pretend any longer that you saw her as a friend, when the way you treat her is definitely more than one. and she deserves to know what you feel for her, with no secrets kept between the two of you.

D-10.

"WOONHAK! GOOD LUCK!"

"YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT BRO!"

"HAERIN-AH! SLAY IT!"

"HWAITING!"

screams and shouts from both sides of your ears were definitely gonna leave them ringing for some time. of course you weren't going to miss haerin's big day. you were beyond proud that she made it to the finals after beating her opponents in the semifinals. quarters were a piece of cake since she was a whole second ahead of everyone.

it was no doubt when she held the fastest record for 100m among the schools here. the agents definitely had their eyes on her the entire time, it just depends on who she chooses.

you didn't really like going out for events like these but she was an exception. although you weren't screaming your lungs out for her, you caressed that ring on your finger very dearly. the ring haerin got you when you two got into the same high school, calling it "the lucky ring". whenever there were big happenings, you'd wear it, feeling that she was with you through them. this time, you wore it so she could feel that you were with her.

"ON YOUR MARK."

the determination on haerin's face didn't go unnoticed even if you were nowhere close to the tracks. and when she flashed that smile at you before the whistle went off, you cried softly into your hands.

you love her so much. so much that this was going to be the last time you two were going to be friends. friends who grew up together, playing with puddles at the playground. finding restaurants to visit together. laughing at stupid videos in bed. taking pictures and videos of each other when one is sleeping. all those days were going to be a memory. a sweet memory for you to look back at after this day.

reporters swarmed the winner of the competition, blocking the pathway for the others who could only sigh at their defeat. some were lucky with outstanding performance.

"could you tell us what's your future plans after this?"

"will you be signing with Krux? we saw their agent approach you personally."

"is it possible to know who kim woonhak is to you?"

"i'm sorry everyone but haerin will be heading off first, any questions will be answered by me."

the coach pushed haerin into the locker room before locking everyone outside with him. she let out the breath even she didn't know she was holding.

"so, who is kim woonhak to you?"

the noise was starting to die down outside as the reporters were led to a different room for interview. the silence was growing deafening as those words echoed across the empty room.

"you're my friend."

"damn, I really didn't have a chance, did I?"

"you know that very well. plus, there's a whole line waiting to date you so why waste your time on me?"

haerin couldn't bother, as she had something better to do and someone better to be with.

"sunbae, you do know I don't like you anymore right? not after you turned down my confession the other day."

"I was just making sure. I've seen too many of you playboys in action."

"oh come on, I'm not a playboy!"

woonhak was someone who was very responsive to teases, and haerin takes every chance she gets to tease the hell out of him. if anything, he was like a brother to her and she was like a sister to him. in fact, both of them decided to sign with the same company since they were offered. it was always good to have someone on your side in the sports world.

"I know, I was just messing with you. now get out, coach probably needs you."

"why me when the winner is right here chilling?"

"because you're gonna answer on my behalf."

the scene that was unfolding could easily be misunderstood if walked in at the wrong timing. and someone did just that. but what haerin didn't expect was that you walked in on them, seemingly laughing and smacking each other, like a couple. well, it did look like that to you at least.

you felt like you were interrupting something, so you dashed out of there as quick as you could. your eyes were stinging as the humid wind cut through your tears that were threatening to fall. although haerin was deemed the winner today, you were zooming past people faster than she could, as if in denial that you lost even before getting a chance to tell her.

it was getting more and more suffocating as the people around you were overwhelming. although you could breathe better when you reached the tracks, taking in the view of the vast field, it was too much that you had to hit your chest to let out some suppressed cries.

just as you felt slightly better, you felt a pair of arms swinging across your sides from behind, trapping you with them. you didn't even need to see who it is, as their scent invaded your senses, carrying familiarity with it.

"haerin-ah, congratulations! I'm so proud of you."

you turned around to bring her into a hug, but also hiding the fact you were crying because things were to change today.

"thank you, I wouldn't have done it without you."

"no, don't say that. you.. did it because you trained very hard for this. and you'll be achieving your dreams."

"you did do something for me, you were there for me. I saw you at the bleachers and that made me more determined to win."

"why are you crying, froggie? don't cry, we'll still see each other."

haerin cupped your face with her hands to wipe the tears off of your face. but that just hit the nail on the coffin, meaning that she would sign and leave for the city. which was now or never.

"haerin-ah."

"hmm?"

the endearing look in her face as she looks at you was more than enough to let you know she would be here for you no matter what. even as just a friend. although it was starting to rain, you knew you had to do it now. the words were getting stuck in your throat as it started to get dry. but, you were going to do it still.

"I love you."

"huh?"

the confusion on her face hurt you more than it should. you should know that she does not feel the same way you did for her. you should know that she was probably already dating woonhak after what you saw earlier. you should know-

"I love you too."

it was the first time you have ever seen that smile on her face. a grin so wide, it's like she's the happiest girl in the world. the most crescent eyes you've seen on her, as if she's staring at the girl she loves.

wait. she said she loves you too.

the sunshower was drenching the two of you but you couldn't give a damn about it. she said she loves you. she reciprocated your feelings. but you were having a very hard time trying to wrap your head around it.

"I love you too, you silly."

her laughter tickled your ears as you stood there frozen. your dumb reaction had her swaying you around with her in the rain as the sun was blinding through the droplets. just as she stopped to look at you again, you still had that bewildered face.

"I thought you were dating woonhak..."

"me? and that idiot? babe, you gotta be kidding me."

the sudden endearment had your cheeks flare up as you bury your head in her shoulder, in attempt to cover your face. but your ears were shooting bright red too, earning an earthy laughter from haerin, you could feel it through the embrace.

"so that means we're dating right?"

she looked at you with a shocked face before peppering kisses all over your cheeks.

"yes, of course froggie. unless you wanna get married."

the attempt at humor cracked both of you up, but you knew that was something you see happening in the future. but for now, everything was perfect. you were perfect, and haerin's urge to kiss you was too strong at that moment.

"can I kiss you?"

all you could do was nod and as her lips touched yours, that's when things were sinking in for you. your hands slowly draped over her neck as you pulled her closer to feel the longing for her warmth grow stronger. the sunshower painted over you and her, but you couldn't care less about what's around you when the most important person is in front of you. it was true that today was the last day you two were friends, but blossomed into a new beginning as each other's love.

as you pulled back to breathe, you two had your eyes closed, foreheads touching. although no words were exchanged, you knew, many more summers were to be spent with the love of your life.

it was the summer rain, the summer rain when haerin fell for you as you held her hand and ran in the rain back home.

that summer you fell for her too.

#haerin #kang haerin #danielle #danielle marsh #newjeans #newjeans fluff #newjeans angst #newjeans imagines #newjeans scenarios #newjeans x reader #new jeans x reader #haerin x reader #feat woonhak #feat boynextdoor #Spotify

[verkomy]

okay so I’m rereading the hobbit and I want to make a list of my favorite quotes and parts so here we go:

“bilbo (…) got something a bit queer in his make-up from the took side” I chuckled

“mr. baggins was very fond of flowers” of course he was he’s a blorbo

“it was a beautiful golden harp, and when thorin struck it the music began all at once, so sudden and sweet that bilbo forgot everything else” bombastic side eye

“as he lay in bed he could hear thorin still humming to himself in the best bedroom next to him. bilbo went to sleep with that in his ears, and it gave him very uncomfortable dreams” criminal offensive side eye

“the explanation did not seem to explain” my brain 24/7 (but also when someone’s trying to explain the rules of any board game to me)

“bilbo was wearing a dark-green hood and a dark-green cloak borrowed from dwalin. they were too large for him, and he looked rather comic” bilbo in dwarven clothes, just throwing it out there

“bilbo baggins, a bur — a hobbit,” said poor bilbo, shaking all over, and wondering how to make owl-noises before their throttled him” this one made me laugh

“trolls simply detest the very sight of dwarves (uncooked)” this one too

“his house was perfect, whether you liked food, or sleep, or work, or story-telling, or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all” I want to go to there

“dori, who was at the back next to bilbo, and a decent fellow. he made the hobbit scramble on his shoulders as best as he could with his tied hands, and then off they all went at a run. (…) that sent them on faster than ever, and as poor bilbo could not possibly go half as fast, they took it in turn to carry him on their backs” WE WERE ROBBED

“why, o why did I ever leave my hobbit-hole!” said poor mr. baggins bumping up and down on bombur’s back “why, o why did I ever bring a wretched little hobbit on a treasure hunt!” said poor bombur” comedic duo

gandalf answered angrily “I brought him, and I don’t bring things that are of no use” we love a supportive friend

“(gandalf) gave bilbo a queer look from under his bushy eyebrows” live gandalf reaction

“you ought not to be rude to an eagle, when you are only the size of a hobbit” good life advice

“here they sat on wooden benches while gandalf began his tale, and bilbo swung his dangling legs and looked at the flowers in the garden” a short king <3

“that only makes eleven and not fourteen, unless wizards count differently to other people” I LOVE BOOK BEORN SO MUCH and this whole chapter is probably my favorite by far

“the hobbit felt quite crushed, and as there seemed nothing else to do he did go to bed” what a mood

“long noses are sometimes useful you see” do with that information what you want

“they knew only too well that they would soon all have been dead, if it had not been for the hobbit; and they thanked him many times” AS THEY SHOULD, too bad thorin didn’t see any of what happened

“he did not like being dependent on by everyone, and he wished he had the wizard at hand” honestly, same

“never laugh at live dragon, bilbo you fool” another hopeful advice

“you are more worthy to wear the armour of elf-princes than many that have looked more comely in it. but wonder if thorin oakenshield will see it too” ouch

“then bilbo turned away, and he went by himself, and sat alone wrapped in a blanket, and, whether you believe it or not, he wept until his eyes were red and his voice was hoarse” this one hurts

“he was in fact held by all the hobbits of the neighbourhood to be queer” of course he was :D

#this is going to be a long post #hope you’re ready #the hobbit #the hobbit book #the hobbit reread #tolkien reread #tolkien #favorite quotes #text

[lauriegraham01]

i wish we could be honest

pairings: tasm!peter parker x gn!reader

summary: peters been pulling away and try as you might you wonder if there's anything left to save.

wc: 1,281

cw: angst, fighting, feeling worthless, eventual fluff at the end, hurt/comfort. based on the song "honest" by the neighbourhood.

patience test my patience

You didn't how things escalated the way they had. You and Peter constantly at each others throats, throwing hurtful words at each other and pushing past each others boundaries. You do know that things weren't always this ugly though.

You and Peter had attended the same schools for years but it wasn't until you were paired as lab partners for a chemistry class in high school that the two of you had actually gotten close. From there you two spent all of your free time together, your friendship blossoming into something beautiful until one fateful night he took you on a rooftop picnic where you could see the beautiful New York skyline and asked you to be his. From that moment on, you two became each others world and you only grew closer.

As time went on, it seemed that Peter and your relationship only grew stronger. Eagerly talking about the future and what plans you both had. You had big ambitions on moving away and attending university in Europe in hopes of becoming a lawyer. Peter had been nothing but supportive of your goals, never making you feel less than for wanting to move away and even pushing you to do your best.

I hope you find a way to be yourself someday

When Peter introduced you to Aunt May and Uncle Ben, you were overwhelmed by their instant acceptance. They were so welcoming of you and treated you as though you were apart of their family, which you were grateful for. Peter opened up to you about his past and how he came to live with his Aunt and Uncle and how grateful he was to them. So when you heard the news of his Uncle Ben's passing you knew that his world would be completely rocked. You tried your best to be there for him but he didn't always make that easy. He begun to shut himself out from everyone and while you understood where he was coming from, it still hurt. Peter and you went through a bit of a separation.

I pray for the best, I pray for the best for you

It had been weeks since you had last seen or heard from Peter. He was nowhere to be found at school and all your messages and calls went unanswered. It wasn't until you came to Aunt May with your concerns that you were finally able to get word about him. After getting an earful from his aunt, he decided to give you a call just to tell you he was alive. It was there that you had convinced him to meet you here at the pier so that you could talk things out.

You wrapped your jacket around you tighter as another cool breeze blew past you, sending a shiver through your bones. It was late and dark out, you weren't completely alone though- with a couple of other people walking and hanging nearby so it wasn't totally unsafe. Things in Queens had actually quieted down recently, crime was declining and you had your theories as to how so-mapping it out to the masked vigilante that the Daily Bugle couldn't seem to get enough of.

Letting a deep exhale and watching the fog from the cold air blow, you make out Peter's figure in the distance and you stand up slightly. It had been a long time since you were nervous to see Peter and the feeling felt almost foreign.

“You wanted to see me?” His voice came out flat and emotionless. You give him a once over and judging from the bags forming underneath his eyes you knew he wasn't getting any sleep.

“Peter, what's going on? I haven't seen you in weeks and I know you're not okay so would you tell me what's wrong?"

"I-I'm fine." He lets out a dry laugh.

"Seriously I'm good, you don't have to worry about me."

"Peter, we can't keep doing this. I cant keep doing this- pretending we're fine when were not, not when you're pulling away and shutting me out.”

“I’m not shutting you out, I’m right here!" He protested, raising his voice at you.

“No you’re not!" Volume matching his, you close your eyes and let out a defeated sigh.

"I wish you could be honest with me." Peter didn't know why but hearing that from you had hurt more than the distance he's wedged between you two.

"The truth is I…I can’t feel you anymore Peter.”

Peter closed his eyes and rolled his head back as he tried to collect himself. He wipes his hands over his face in frustration before adverting his gaze back onto you. As he looks into your eyes he can see the pain behind them. The pain that you're trying so hard to keep at bay.

The pain that exists because of his own hand.

“You have to trust me, y/n. I’m trying to protect you.”

“Oh screw you Parker! I don't need your protection, I can handle myself just fine."

“Y/n it's complicated. Please just-”

“No!” You snapped, anger laced in you voice and if looks could kill, Peter would be long dead.

"Look Peter, I love you but I'm not the type to sit around waiting on a guy to make up his mind," you explained. " I know you're hurting, but you don't have to hurt alone, Peter. Whatever it is I am here with you because I want there to be an after for us."

Peter knew that you were right, he knew that he didn't have to do it alone and that you would help him carry it, and he hated himself for it. He hated himself for having so much baggage to put on you. He always thought that you deserved better than him. Someone who wouldn't drag you down. That's why he had pulled back, in hopes of self-sabotaging his relationship and that you'd realize that you were in fact better off without him.

"I haven't been completely honest with you, y/n."

"Go on," you implore, brows burrowing in confusion.

"Okay. Okay. There's something i've been hiding, this uh-part of me if you will," he said struggling to find the right words. "I wanted to protect you because I figured the less people knew about it the better but...i'm spiderman." he looks up at you nervously.

“That's it?"

Peters stares back at you dumbfoundedly, taken aback from your lack of a reaction. He honestly expected for you to be shocked or have some sort of reaction but you seemed unphased by the confession.

"Uh-y-yea that's it."

"I've known for months now, Peter. It really doesn't take much to figure out why you end up so many bruises and why you're always tired and sneaking out at night."

“And that doesn't bother you?"

"Oh, Peter. No of course not, my love." You step forward closing some of the distance between you two. Raising a hand up to cup his cheek your thumb softly stroking his cheek. You missed the feel of him and you basked in the warmth of his touch.

"The people you've saved, the way you protect this city-Peter, you're a hero. If anything I'm amazed by you."

Peter's left speechless. He truly didn't deserve you. He was amazed by how accepting you were to his secret. As he looked into your eyes he saw nothing but love within your e/c eyes staring back at him.

"Why'd you stick around? Why'd you stay with me?"

"Because I love you Peter." You rest your forehead against his as your hands lower to find his, intertwining your bare hands within his gloved ones.

"I love you too."

#tasm!peter x reader #tasm peter parker x reader #tasm peter parker #peter parker #andrew garfield #tasm spiderman #spiderman fanfiction #marvel mcu #light angst

[wannaeatramyeon]

I love your writing, it's so unique and easy to read like it scratches my brain, sorry if that doesn't make sense. Anyway, could you write about Jake meeting a friend from his childhood? Like maybe after workers when he's trying to get big deal back together he runs into them and is like "omg I'm so happy to see you, please don't get close to me you'll get hurt" and he kind of loves them romantically but he also is afraid bc he doesn't want them to get hurt.

👉👈 lowkey I want this for all of big deal but if that's too much to ask don't worry about it

I AM BACK ON THE JAKE TRAIN! Goo who? Vin what? No sorry bb I'm just joking. Thank you for being so kind! I try to write things how my brain parses stuff (don't we all). And again, sorry for the delay 🙇🏻‍♀️ just gone with Jake cos all of Big Deal 🤯 sorry!!

Jake Kim x Reader: Youth

G/N. Pining ish. Idk.

You notice the scars before anything else.

Glancing at them, curious how the sweet boy from your youth ended up as a gang leader even if rumours of his father spread like wildfire through your neighbourhood.

Perhaps the rumours were true and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Yet when he calls your name-

The same tone from years gone by. Voice holding the same tenderness, warmth, now deep and rich.

Instead of fear, you feel nostalgia and a smile tugging at your lips.

You wonder how you didn't notice his gaze first. Looking at you with familiar affection that couldn't even be eroded by time.

.

.

Jake notices you. Eyes drawn to you, like he used to do.

When he would dance around his feelings, tiptoe around his emotions. Holding you at arm's length despite desperately wanting to pull you into them.

The folly of youth.

If only he knew what was to come, he would have taken that chance. Spent his days in the swirls of puppy love instead of rushing into adulthood pondering about what-ifs.

Have something fond to hold on to; to daydream about rather than letting the ship pass him by.

Although.

If by chance, you did say yes. If the relationship bloomed and love blossomed. He doubts he could have ever left you.

His life could have taken a different trajectory altogether.

.

.

Jake keeps his distance, even if he's the one to approach you.

Notices the way your eyes linger on the scars. Realises the gulf between you even if you are finally within reach.

Understands the way your lives have parted and ran parallel, even if he wishes for them to intersect again.

To capture some of the magic of his childhood. The innocence. Someone that knew him before Big Deal became all he was.

He knows it would be a mistake to bring you down with him. To dull your light and cloak you with his darkness.

Yet when you ask for his number, hand resting on his arm-

He can't help but pull out his phone and exchange his details with you.

Hopes that maybe. Just maybe that it would be the other way round.

That some of your brilliance, your radiance is contagious. That instead of dragging you down, you would be able to lift him up.

#lookism #lookism manhwa #lookism webtoon #lookism x reader #lookism fic #jake kim #jake kim x reader #wannaeatramyeon

[woneuntonzz]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ reflections

📞 ; “maybe it's a blessing in disguise, i see my reflection in your eyes.”

𖹭 : sungchan x afab!reader

💭 love can be a possession, and like everything owned, it can be easily lost... “we were too close to the stars.”

⤷ contains: angst, pining, cussing, mentions of other idol names for

world building

⤷ warnings: none (?)

⤷ wc: 4.2k (not proofread :>)

🎧 a songfic, inspired by The Neighbourhood's Reflections

-ˋˏ under the cut .ᐟ ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Perfect does not exist, maybe that’s true for you, but I’ve seen perfection, I’ve felt perfection. The thought seems superficial, I know, but to be in my place —I’ve had to endure years of sorrow because of this said perfection. 

And perfection was in the form of Jung Sungchan. 

On the surface, it might take a few blinks for one to understand. But it wasn’t solely your visage that has led me to this wistful void. 

I loved to draw, just as much as I loved you, maybe a little less —but you get the point. You’ve been the subject of my illustrations, from the moment I saw you, till I couldn’t physically see you anymore. 

“Is that me?” I didn’t get why you’d still ask, of course it’s you, it’ll always be you. 

The outline of your profile provokes daydreams, oh how I wish I was the only one. When I saw you for the first time I instantly knew, everyone had their eyes on you, it was only a matter of time till the attraction came pouring in. 

Still, you stood your ground like everyone else, just trying to live your life, and everyday I wished I could be part of it. 

I draw the lines, and you paint it with colors, colors I had never seen before, colors that could’ve been the manifestation of your reciprocation. 

“Good morning, I’m Jung Sungchan, I was wondering if I’m in the right place, senior Kim sent me here to fetch the package from, Y/n?” you were quite unsure of my name, I’m pretty sure you had it written on the tiny piece of paper you held in between two of your fingers. 

“That’s me. Department?” I didn’t even know why I still asked, I knew well where you were situated. 

“Film.” I felt as if I was going to combust, I could’ve sworn I saw you held back a laugh, the slight hum of your bass voice almost had me stumbling back. “You?”

“Arts.” Now I almost laughed at myself.

But never did I think that our talk would last for a longer while. “Sophomore, right?”

I tried my best to exude a hum as a response, before asking you back why, “Why’d you ask?”

“I see you around a lot, but I just wasn’t sure if you were older or younger. I also confused you with someone else I knew multiple times before.” —someone else?

I was thinking maybe I should be more open to variety, to not wear the same hairstyle, similar set of clothes, and one color pallette everyday. Maybe then you wouldn’t confuse me for someone else. Maybe then you’d see me and think, that’s Y/n from the Arts Dep. She's really pretty.

“Who did you confuse me for? maybe I know who they are.”

“Actually…” actually what Sungchan? “She’s your friend.”

I don’t exactly have loads of friends, but I couldn’t help but ask, “Which one?”

“Minjeong.” 

I had no idea of what expression you had painted on my face with all the things you had just said, but Minjeong? to confuse me with her might be too remote from the reality I lived. And because I was talking to a guy, I remembered when she told me, “Can you believe it? I’m being pursued by a guy!” —I never thought that guy would be you. Why you? or rather, why not me?

It wasn’t hard to tell whether my assumptions are true or not, because the way you bit your lip after her name fell from your mouth, suppressing a smile I could only assume was one only she could elicit from you.

I was right. 

And I was in pain. I felt like nothing but an excuse for you to see her, always seeming to have packages to retrieve for your senior, and coming back to return things to me, then all I hear is she, she, she, Minjeong where, Minjeong when —I wanted to rid of my hearing, besides it already felt like bleeding to the point where clotted blood would just block my auditory. 

But my pain only leads to my deception. I hate that I had to smile through whatever you had to say, congratulate you even when you gushed about her smiling back at you, or talking to you all evening through messages. 

“That’s cute, happy there’s some progress.” I spoke through a pretentious smile. 

“Thank you Y/n, I really don’t think it’ll be possible if I hadn’t met you.”

Perfection is truly just anguish behind a polished glass case, and at that moment I faced you, I wished I hadn’t met you at all. 

My pain and deception, tomorrow I would keep the frame of your smile in my memories, and I just had to pick up a pencil. I’ve always loved to draw things, but through an artist’s honesty, I only draw the things I find beautiful, the things worth the graphite imprinted at the side of my hand. You were beauty and agony, and as much as I wanted to say I hated you, I loved you more than my best creations.

“You drew me? That’s really awesome, I don’t know how artists manage to create such images." Did you never think of how I did it? that maybe I stared at you for too long that I could draw you at every angle, with any expression —I had memorized every line on your face, the curve from the tip of your nose, to your philtrum, and to your lips. Whenever I drew your lips I would touch my own, feeling for its cushions whilst wondering how yours would feel. I reckon it must’ve been softer, more delicate, it always looked so velvet that for a while it was the only thing that occupied my mind. 

So shameful of me to be fantasizing about a guy my friend liked and a guy who liked my friend. But I loved you first, it could’ve been me. I always stuck around so that maybe one day you’d choose me. 

“She said yes!” —of course she would. 

Anyone in her place would, and anyone who wouldn’t would be lying to themselves. 

That smile you wore when you exclaimed so blissfully, it’s engraved in my mind, and then I knew I would never have that smile for myself. 

My mind is clouded, and my heart is aching and cracking, and whenever I felt it I just wished you could feel it too, just how much you’ve ruined my life. 

“Your work is honestly flawless, maybe Min could use some lessons from you.” your quip was followed by a playful hit on your shoulder, then a chorus of laughter.

“Yeah, Y/n is probably the best artist in our department, but I’m not that bad!” it hurt to watch you wrap an arm around her waist as her sweet voice so vexingly amplified in my ears.

You looked at me then, as if you were telling me to laugh. There was nothing for me to laugh at, it would be a pity to laugh at myself, and at what cost? Still, I had to force a smile, just for feeling sorry that I had let myself fall into your abyss. 

Avoiding you could’ve tended my wounds, but it wasn’t that easy when you were dating my friend. My friend who I had known longer than you, my friend who was a lot less selfish than me, who likely had thought about me more than I have with her. How could I when you were occupying a very gross space in my mind. I’m disgusting for still yearning for you, all when we had nothing, no foreground. You had never looked at me like you looked at her, I have never felt the skin underneath your ironed dress shirt, I have never felt the heat of your breath against my neck, and never have I felt your tender grip clasped around my hands. I was all desire and no fulfillment, and it had to be that way, not for your sake nor hers, but for mine. 

If I gave in, I wouldn’t be alive for you, her, and everyone looking down on me with ire. 

I would only grow to hate myself even more, I love you, but I could only see the antithesis of your motivations. 

“I owe you one too, Min and I wouldn’t be together if it weren’t for you.” and I didn’t even have a choice. 

I saw you to be a bit too brazen to continue to treat me like a friend, yet I never saw you as one of mine. 

“You don’t owe me one.” you owe me everything. 

“That’s not true, hey, how about this, I have a friend who wants to meet you, remember the drawing that I stole from you? Well, he saw it and he said he wanted to meet the artist.” you seemed so eager to push me away. 

“Oh really? Who's he?” to raise such a painful question, that day I truly was not myself.

You introduced me to a guy, and I could tell it took him great effort to be as expressive as you, not that he was aware that I had my eyes on you the whole time. It was no question that I would never see him the same way I did you, even if I tried, he isn’t Jung Sungchan, he isn’t you. 

“So, how’d you find Eunseok?” you asked me when you accompanied me back to my building. 

“He’s nice, but I’m not really looking for a date right now.” —I am only looking at you.

“Hmm, but try, yeah? maybe not date, but befriend him. Try to see him for who he is.” I chuckled at your careful pick of words, befriend, in what world did you think I was going to befriend a guy closely involved with you?

And for what? just so it would only be harder for me to escape myself? 

It’s already a torturous endeavor to keep up with your beaming face, walking up to me like an old friend you’ve been longing to see after some time. Friend, is all I’ll ever be. 

With the passing time, I figured, it was better than being nothing with you, right? I would rather have you just close enough, than not at all. I know it’s wrong for me to look at you that way, but it would only be me who knew, I’m sure. I see it in your eyes, how dismissive they are of the light that resides in mine, the light you ignited. You could so easily keep your eyes on me without a stagger, unlike me, fighting all my demons and being very easily lost in a reverie under your unsuspecting gaze. 

“You’re really pretty, you know that, right?” sadly it wasn’t your voice I would hear it from. 

“Eunseok, I already like someone else, I’ve told you.” 

“Yeah, I know that, and I know who. It was a compliment.” 

I had dared him to tell me who if he really knew, and he got it, slipped right off his tongue. Jung Sungchan, three syllables that provoked the fires of my hell. 

But was I really pretty? apparently, not pretty enough for you. 

“I mean, Eunseok wasn’t wrong, you are fairly pretty —but he did tell me you already like someone, do I know him?” you have no idea how badly I wanted to tell you to shut up, to tell you that it’s you, I like you. 

“That’s easy to say isn't it?”

“What?”

“To call someone pretty, and it doesn’t even have to be true.” It’s true, isn’t it? It's so easy to leave those words without a second thought, because they're all words, and deceit is inevitable. Your face molded into a dumbfounded expression, and it scared me. I might’ve sounded my hatred with those few words and so I said, “I’m kidding, and you don’t have to know who I like. It’s none of your concern.” 

I tried masking my regret with jest, but it was all true, I am not your concern. You shouldn’t care, especially when I’m not the one your heart beats for. 

I was a witness of the highs and lows of your relationship, how both of you seemed to lack something in each other’s eyes. At that point, all I could do was look away. I was afraid, so I distanced myself. The blame, the misery, I had not shown intentions out of the ordinary, but my brain ached and quaked from the what ifs and hows, and the whens.

“Y/n? Are you avoiding me?” my breath hitched, and I halted my steps. 

“No?—”

“No? why are you saying it as if you’re asking me?” I gulped, your eyes weren’t as spirited as they’d usually be, and your voice was demanding an answer out of me. 

“No. I’m really busy with my workload, Sungchan.” 

I wanted to yell at you, I’m in love with you, you and the way you cared, just stop caring, how hard could it be? stop caring so I could finally step away without looking back, so you could live a placid life without my trouble.  

I never thought I’d witness you chase after her in our building for the last time, pretty cheek bruised red from a hit you took from her. Was it over? and was it your fault?

“We broke up.” to me, your words sounded tantalizing.

I had no idea what you expected me to do, or say, or react. “Why?” and I had no idea I shouldn’t have asked. 

“I don’t know if I’m being honest with myself.” I didn’t want to believe what I was hearing, and I wish that would be the end of it. “Minjeong is a great person, I know I’m not. I wished I could’ve spared her the time, and returned her love the same way she gave it to me, but she’s not the one. I fell out, Y/n, I’m sorry.”

I shook my head, your sorry stinging my mind. “Why are you apologizing to me?”

You looked down for a while, eyeing the textures of the granite flooring. And I caught it, a single tear dropping down and landing in between your feet. “She’s your friend.”

I looked away from your swollen eyes, allowing the breeze to softly glide over the wisps of my lashes as I desperately searched for anything to reply, “You’re my friend too.” It would only pain me more when you kept apologizing, mumbling through your sobs. “Sungchan, stop apologizing.”

I was bewildered with the continuous apology, and why you chose to be this restless with me. But I guess you got me, even if I was tired, drained to the very bottom, I was still willing to catch the tears that swelled from your eyes with my shoulders. 

Well of course, it was easy for others to see it as something else, and I had to remember I had a friend, a friend that wasn’t you. 

“Minjeong, please, let’s talk—”

“I don’t want to fucking talk Y/n, there’s nothing for us to talk about.” 

Did she think it was my fault? Was it my fault? Are there things I’m failing to see?

But I'm just a girl, Sungchan, I failed to push you away. I felt temporary, replaceable, but you needed someone by your side. 

“Eunseok and I aren’t on good terms right now. He found out the truth.” I searched for it through your glossed eyes. 

Was there, perhaps, some other truth? “Truth?”

“I don’t know what to do.” but I was in no place to tell you what to do either. 

You were dodging bullets, but at that moment I was too preoccupied with swallowing the lump in my throat, trying to lure myself out of your poise. 

I forgot what I had told you, but all I know is that I was seeing you more often than the times you used to retrieve packages for senior Kim, and senior Kim has been away for two years, graduated. Now we’re the seniors, a pair with a piteous reputation to those who have known us throughout our college years. 

“We should make a movie together, you know.” you seemed too enthusiastic for your own good, but still, I chuckled. 

“What are you thinking?” 

“I mean, like an animation since you can draw, and you seem great with storytelling.” 

Storytelling? never even gave it a thought. “Interesting. Let me think about it, I might just consider it.”

“Take your time.”

I never knew just how serious you were. I ended up taking my time too well, with you.

To look back at it, it isn’t too bad of a decision to create something I could look back on and carry for the rest of my life. You were my serendipity, it would only lead me to fall deeper, and I know how much it’ll hurt when it’s finally time for us to part. 

So I guess, thank you, and fuck you for being so good to me, for leaving scars that would only burn when you were no longer in my reach. Your touch was my kryptonite, and your voice was my reason to force myself out of slumber. I’m so in love with you, but my pride would not allow me to. 

A part of me still bathes in guilt. I lost friends for you, for a future I could only dream about. 

“Where are you off to after college?” I tried to calm my pounding heart from the way your hand toyed with mine. 

You spread out my fingers, your thumb softly rubbing against them, “Still thinking about our movie.”

Our movie, that’s funny. “How about a little life plan?”

“You go first, then I’ll tell you mine.”

What was the point, Sungchan? “I have two paths laid out for me, one’s for character design, and the other’s free-lance, you know it.” your fingers glide against the skin at the back of my hand, and in a blink the warmth of your palm spreads throughout my body as it rests on my skin. 

“My turn, right?” you really had to pose it as a question, tilting your head at me, so obviously expecting an answer. I could only, and very languidly nod for I was getting myself drunk with your burning touch. “You know, I really want to work closer with you, so any decision I make, you’d probably see me at work.”

Perfection is a fucking lie. 

Again I’d find myself slumping on my bed, thinking about how easy it was for you to run past me. Now you had all these opportunities waiting in line for you. 

“They want me to act, do you think I’m fit for it? Do you think I can do it?”

If it’s that easy for you to leave, “Of course you can.”

It would’ve been nice if you were more honest, cause for a while you were drawing an outline of possibilities, possibilities of you and I, and not just me, me, me.

Until seeing you was barely a chance, I continued to refuse seeing through your honeyed gaze, afterall, I chose to love you too much, because either way, I had no choice but to let you go. 

Now I sit alone, writing books about the love I never had. Such a pitiful soul I am. I was even oblivious of the many details of this story, because we never talked beyond the trivial things, never about how our eyes longed for each other, or how our hands found each other’s skin that would sear from the sensation, the friction. 

You had moved out of town. I couldn’t bring myself to meet you at the train station for, possibly, the last time. I could only wish you luck through a poorly composed text message, three sentences long. 

the lovers by rené magritte 💌

sorry i couldn’t meet you today, but i wish you all luck in the world. you deserve whatever you have going for you. i’m gonna miss you.

my robbie 🥀

thank you y/n

i have a feeling i’m gonna miss you more hahaha

I had to leave you on read. This time I choose to just not look back. 

And it was for the better. It sure hurts to see you on Tv, to see you deny your dating history, “I’ve dated before, but I’ve never dated ‘the one’, needless to say, I wish I could meet her right now.” —I’ve read all the articles about that interview, that very statement of yours. How fascinating. Acting truly was for you. I could no longer see where we met in your eyes. 

I wonder if you’ve read any of my books, if you had wondered if I ever did pursue a career where I could make use of my illustrative talents —it got me nowhere, but you were right, I can tell a heck of a story, and so I told the world hundreds of them. 

Your foreshadowing of my future was a big stain I had to carry, and hide as an author. But I would keep writing without breaking even in the slightest bit. 

Because I only loved you. I only wished, but never fully hoped, never really tried. 

╔══════════════╗

“Hmm, are you sure you want this published?” 

“I’m not gonna have it out as is, of course I have to build characters. I just wanted your thoughts. It would make for a good novel, right?” 

You sat face to face with your publisher, Song Eunseok, to ask for his thoughts on this draft you made six years ago. 

“It would —but you know, I’m quite surprised.” Eunseok wore a smirk on his face, one you couldn’t quite read through. 

“Really? surprised?” a low chuckle escapes his mouth, very subtly shaking his head.

He had briefly glanced on the floor beside him, and when he looked back, almost all emotions he displayed were erased. “It wasn’t hard to tell you liked Sungchan, I knew, Minjeong knew.”

“Minjeong knew?” you almost lost your breath, heart racing from the tone of his voice alone. 

“Well, not until she was convinced. She’s just as stupid as you were —I mean, no offense, you’re great, but you’re also quite self-absorbed. Take it with a grain of salt, but it’s the truth if you ask me.” you watched him pour himself a glass of whiskey, and he’d pour you one too knowing you’d need it. “They broke up because of you.”

He’d repeat the same motion, shaking his head and humming when the lines on your face started to show more. “Didn’t any of them tell you?”

“Tell me what, Eunseok?”

“Sungchan liked you too.” and there you would take your first sip of liquor. “You truly were too lost, weren’t you? you didn’t even notice the way he looked at you, and how he talked about you. Just a shame he didn’t tell you after the storm died down.”

The storm, their break up, the demise of your dignity. “Why didn’t he tell me?”

“I don’t know what he had in mind, why don’t you ask ‘your Robbie’.?” you rolled your eyes at his laughter that followed. “Cute nickname, where did ‘The Lovers by René Magritte’ come from?”

Pouring yourself more of the liquor, you’d softly laugh at yourself, looking back at that bitter memory. “I showed him my favorite artworks, ‘The Lovers’ happened to be one of them, and he said it’s so beautifully made, like me.”

“That sucks.”

“I know.”

You both laughed over your wretched past, how pathetic and wrong you were. You were glad you could now see through more than your own lens, it's a whole other journey to discover and open yourself up to empathy, and it felt like contentment to finally reach it.

“You received it, right?” 

You looked him right in the eyes, smiling as you asked back, “The wedding invitation?” he hummed and nodded as an answer, “Of course. It’s what led me to finding that draft.”

He hummed again, head propped on his hands as he caught sight of your gaze, “We should go together, maybe we can ask Sungchan if he’s okay with the story.”

“And maybe we can get him to act for it when it’s turned into a movie.” his laughter grew louder, making you lightly hit his shoulder. 

“Well, at least he could fulfill his wish of making a movie with you.”

“Oh shut up.”

He was quite… the experience. A love that was pure misery. If he wanted to, he would’ve, right? So does it truly matter if he likes you then? 

You looked again at your draft, ink at certain spots were smudged, you remember being all tears as you wrote. 

Sungchan was not your greatest love, but you’ve got to admit he’d led you to a place where your passion could only grow stronger. You could say that sometimes you missed the way he felt on your skin, but it would be just the memories itself, and not him, not anymore. 

Perfection does not exist, and you had to go through all that trouble to convince yourself that it was him. 

Who could blame you? you’ve never met anyone like him, and you never will again. 

End.

just something very short and sweet for u :)) short question, is this a happy ending or not?

#riize #briize #riize fanfic #riize x reader #riize sungchan #jung sungchan #riize angst #angst

[writingsfromhome]

Echoes of the Night we Met

Request: Would you consider writing something based on one of these songs? „I’m not yours” Angus & Julia Stone or „The night we met” Lord Huron

A/N: I took Lord Huron’s song as a looooose inspo and just went with what came…hope it came out ok. Feel free to request any others :)

————————————————

Harry:

I've been searching for a trail to follow again.

I move my can from one hand to the other, the drink dangling from the bridge railing. Along the railing flakes of green paint give way to pockets of rust. I try not to read too much into that. Instead I focus on the soothing quality of the river below, always moving forward, always soldiering on.

YN liked coming here to think a lot when we were kids. That’s how I first noticed her, the girl with the curtain of hair hiding her face from passerbys. She’s look down into the river like it was whispering ancient words to her, mesmerized and connected. I wonder what she thought about all the time.

One day I asked. I remember the first night we met. It was just after 8, the sun was just about done setting. Summer was slipping away from us and we were both facing the start of a new school year.

“Hi,” I’d started off rough. She’d barely even glanced up. “Penny for your thoughts?”

That had gotten her attention. She had looked up through wisps of her hair and then turned to me fully. I didn’t know if she knew who I was. We’d grown up in the same neighbourhood all our lives but she didn’t go to the same public school I went to.

“A penny used to be worth a lot more,” she had said and I remember her brows raised slightly like she was surprised at what came out of her mouth.

“What?” I’d laughed, charmed by this awkward girl.

She shook her head, a shy smile brightening her face despite the oncoming dark. “A penny used to be like a lot more money so that phrase meant our thoughts were just as valuable. But now a penny barely means anything so…what does that say about thoughts in the 21st century.”

She was a nerd, and somehow the revelation of that made me like her even more.

“Can I summarize that answer in 140 characters? My thoughts are in tweets.” I tried to joke.

She snorted and covered her face. “That was kinda lame.”

“You laughed,” I had pointed out. “Plus you’re the one who just met me and delivered a lecture on-

“I get it,” she cut me off. “I was just caught off guard.”

“Do you usually deliver facts when you’re caught off guard?” I decided to join her, overlooking the water. Our elbows had stay a foot apart.

“Yes,” she said with humour.

“So if an intruder came into your house-“

“I would disarm them with a fact.”

It had take me a second to get the joke before I laughed. She had hid hers behind her hand.

“You have a nice smile,” I told her.

“Oh.” She had grow serious and avoided my gaze, staring out at the river.

“You can take the compliment.”

“I know,” she cleared her throat. “Thanks.”

“I’m Harry,” I finally introduced myself.

“I know.” She said again. “You volunteered at the community centre earlier this summer. The reading club?”

“Were you there?” I thought I would remember a face like hers.

“Not for that,” she had left it at that.

“What year are you in?” I had asked.

We began to talk and she began to relax. Slowly she faced me again, answered my questions and laughed at my jokes. I felt on top of the world. We barely register how dark it had gotten, the lights in the part casting us in shadows.

My breath catches in my throat as the memories wash over me as they usually did. It was torture, coming here to this bridge after a few weeks.

Y/N moved on. Moved out of this town and made a life out of travelling. I stayed and made a life here. On my bitterest nights I have to avoid thinking that I was left behind.

Not that it was her fault. We were both to blame how the relationship ended. But I didn’t understand why it still affected me this much a decade later.

I wish I had one night with her. Or go back to the night we met. If I could go back I’d tell myself what I should’ve done when I had her. And if that doesn’t work, then save myself the heartbreak and advise not to ride along.

Is it better to love and be left behind or never to have loved at all, the age old question circles my mind as it always did when I fell into this particular pit of despair.

10 fucking years. When was I going to get over her. I try to shut out the painful images that always came.

The softness of her, how loud her laugh could be despite her shy smile. The way she smelled when I nestled my face in the specific spot on her neck. Her eyes, the ones that I watched growing wearier throughout our relationship.

I replay our final moments together, the blow of every word that should’ve been left unsaid, the pain of tallying every unkept promise—the biggest being staying together, forever. Everything suffocates me.

I thought I could live a life without her but she lingered like a ghost with nowhere to pass over. Even if I managed to get over her, move on, she was like a thread that ran through me; a constant memory.

I’m snapped out of my thoughts as the bridge creaks with the weight of another person. I look up at the approaching figure and my chest squeezes tight at what I see. Who I see.

You:

The bridge stood as a silent witness to the passage of time, once gleaming in its steel it had been oxidized by rain and snow, worn down by wind and ice. Its timeworn pieces clang with every footstep that’s ever walked across, the secrets whispered by the rushing river below staying hidden from passerbys.

I listened to the secrets. As a teen this is where I came to get away from the small bungalow I lived in with my 3 siblings and parents. This is what kept me sane when times got tough at home, always leaning over the edge and letting the rushing of the river below whisper that things would get better.

It’s where I met Harry. Both of us naïve and 16. I wonder if he heard the same secrets I did.

For years, the bridge held our memories, preserving the echoes of a night long past. Just like this bridge we’d been worn down and away. Life circumstances, time, and heartbreak.

The air crackles as I step onto the surface of the bridge. He’s there, his perfect silhouette embodying the shadow of how I remembered us. How had so much time passed?

In the stillness of the night I walk towards him and hope I wasn’t making another mistake.

Harry:

Even in the dim light she was as beautiful as the first day I met her. Her hair was shorter, straightened and lighter than I remember.

“YN?” I had to be hallucinating.

“Harry, hey.” Her voice bristles slightly. That’s how I know she’s actually here, and not a part of my imagination.

“How…”

“My brother,” she goes to lean on the bridge rail but changes her mind last minute, wrapping her arm around her waist instead.

YN’s brother and I had become friends—which was weird since he was always YN’s younger brother. But he got a teaching job at the same school a few years back and he had remembered me. We got along well.

I had just left the pub with her brother. But what was she doing here? In town?

“You’re in town.” I state lamely.

“Yeah,” she turns away, out to the river. “Helping my parents with something.”

Her parents were selling their childhood home, I knew that from her brother. I wonder if she knows I know.

“It’s good to see you,” I say the obvious but truthful statement.

“Yeah,” she glances at me. “How are you?”

Now I look away, unsure how to answer. “Good. You?”

“Fine,” she says with a wry smile. We knew the other way lying.

“Really?”

“I’m here in this godforsaken town so yeah, great.”

It’s the first cut tonight; apparently being here was rock bottom for her.

“Still no room for second chances hey?”

She doesn’t respond but she stands taller. Annoyed—I could tell from her body language.

“Same old y/n,” I whisper under my breath. Fuck. I didn’t want to slip back into this version of me but I wasn’t expecting such a biting cold from this woman. I thought we could be pleasant before descending into old habits.

“Same old Harry.” She cocks a brow. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Y/N,” I sigh. I used to have all of her. I had to be better. “I’m sorry.”

Her mouth makes an ‘o’ and her eyes soften. She doesn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry,” I say again, hoping she somehow understands I meant it about more than just now. “I don’t understand why you’re here though. I was just thinking about…”

“I was in town. I was here earlier in the day actually. Hadn’t visited the bridge in a while, used to come here nearly every bloody day.”

“I know,” I chuckle. She was attached to it.

“My brother mentioned you when he got back from the pub. Said something about you being in your sad hour—you liked going to this park during it. He probably doesn’t know why but…”

“But then why come? Knowing I’m here?”

She shrugs, her hands coming up only to fall hard at her sides. “I don’t know Harry. I didn’t realize I’d come here to get the second-degree.”

“I was thinking about you.” I will her to look at me, it aches to look at her. She looks older in the same way I probably did to her. More mature. She looks beautiful. And so far away. “About us. I know it’s been a decade but some night I can’t get us out of my head. I did so many wrong things Y/N. I swear I’d do anything just to go back to the night we met. Before I had all of you.”

She sucks in a breath. Still doesn’t look at me.

I touch her elbow, plead inside my head for her to look my way.

“I needed you to be angry or apathetic. I thought I’d come here and see you never changed, and feel better about leaving us. Leaving this town.”

She finally looks at me, her eyes fill with tears and I feel myself crumble. I don’t know how I was going to wake up tomorrow morning after seeing her face like this. I couldn’t let her go. Somehow fate brought us back here.

You:

The night we first met, I had been stewing in anger staring at the rushing river and trying to stay out as late as possible. I didn’t want to go home. To my reality.

Dad had lost his job earlier this year and his new job paid less. They were pulling my brothers and I out of private school and into public. I had cried and begged—I had a year left couldn’t I just finish it off?

But they had been resolute. And I had been angry and heartbroken.

Until Harry had approached me. I knew him from seeing him around the neighbourhood. I was relieved when he said he didn’t notice me at the community centre where my brothers and I sometimes went for their free breakfasts. It had been a real struggle that year.

I had noticed him, he was really attractive and confident, but he’d also been really sweet with the people he was volunteering with. Especially the kids.

I guess he would be at my new school. Maybe I’d make a friend in him.

I hadn’t expected to fall for him after exchanging a few words. He hadn’t been weirded out by my awkward small talk or moody vibe. He had just talked to me, asked me questions about myself, and we’d laughed a lot. That’s what I remember.

But five years of friendship to lovers came to an explosive end. For ten years I ran away. Tonight I return to the night we met.

I wanted to stay on my high horse, absolutely sure that I made the right decision not forgiving him and moving away.

Now I don’t know anything.

Mom and dad were selling my childhood home, any ties I had to this place were unravelling, and now even the person I needed to stay the villain was apologizing.

“You travel a lot,” Harry touches my elbow lightly. I know he’s not ignoring what I said, just giving me a way to talk around it until I can talk through it. I forgot the little ways he could be kind. It tears a hole right through me.

“Yeah,” I had started working for a travel magazine a decade ago and then made it my own brand on social media. I got paid to travel which was a dream. And yet, it always carried an emptiness—like I was running away from a debt I never paid. “Do what you love right?”

“Yeah.” Harry had gone into teaching, he’d stayed in town, born and raised. It had surprised me finding out. “I can’t say I love teaching, but it gets me up in the morning.”

“I heard the kids adore you,” my brother had kept me updated on Harry when I asked. I think my brother loved him too—he definitely idolized him.

“Sometimes,” he smiles like he’s embarrassed but I know he’s not.

“It’s been ten years,” I whisper. Why was he still not over us? Why did it make me feel awful.

“I think I felt every year,” he says.

Me too.

“Wish I could rewind, go back to the night we met.” He says.

“So you could warn yourself?” I half tease.

“No. Y/n,” he rolls his eyes. “Just to remember what it felt like to-to…not have to worry about a million decisions, not have to worry about money and what’s for dinner and whether your car’s about to kick the bucket or whether you’ve got a serious vitamin c deficiency or it’s depression. Just…just to go back and remember what it felt like to…meet a cute girl in the park and wonder what she’s thinking about.”

“That cute girl was angry,” I remind him.

That had come out later, as we talked into the night. In the cloak of darkness when he’d expressed surprise that I was enrolling in his school and I had said some bitter response, he’s prodded in all the soft spots. Before I knew it I was crying in front of the very attractive guy. It was humiliating.

But he’d surprised me, with a gentle hand on my arm—a question that I’d responded with by tucking myself into his arms. It was weirdly not weird.

“I remember.”

“The girl’s still pretty angry,” I say quietly.

My mum and dad were selling the home. The place I thought I’d always get to call home no matter how many countries I went to and how many beds I slept in. I always thought the room down the hall would always be mine.

“Want to talk about it?” Harry asks.

“How?” I look at him. “How can you want to stand here and listen to me be angry? After everything.”

Harry sighs. It’s loaded. “Y/N I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Ten bloody years have gone by, many relationships and so many fucking new memories and yet I’m still haunted by the ghost of you. And I push it away and pretend I’m okay. But I’m not.”

“We were both so angry at the end,” I ignore everything he just said to say something else. Or maybe to respond to him basically confessing that he missed me. I was scared.

“I tried to make you something you weren’t,” Harry admits and hearing him say it out loud even ten years later burns. Like the flaking paint on this forsaken bridge, I’m rusty on the inside.

“And I was angry at the world but I took it out on you.” I reply with the same vulnerability. He deserved it after I came here wearing body armour.

He moves an inch closer to me and my body feels like it leans in like an automatic response.

“Why did you run so far?” He asks, it’s barely a whisper.

I feel the tears threatening to pour out but I hold them back. “Why didn’t you come looking for me?”

“I was mad,” his hand reaches out but before it can brush mine it drops. My heart drops with it. “And then I thought we were better apart. But really I was just scared.”

“Scared?” I was too.

“I had all of you and then most of you, some of you and then none of you. I didn’t think it could go the other way.”

It couldn’t. I think about the ring in my pocket, the one I took off when I left my parents’ front door to walk here.

It was a 3 year relationship begging to take the first step. When the proposal came I had cried with tears of joy.

“I don’t think it can,” I say and I feel a tear slide down my cheek. I rub it away.

He nods in defeat. “I just wanted to talk to you. Say sorry and be sure there’s nothing to go back to.”

“The way I treated you I…I wish I did things differently Harry. And I’m sorry. But I think there’s too much between us to go back to.”

“Yeah well,” he scratches the back of his head. “At least I know now.”

I want to take his face in my hands and kiss him, feel his familiar hands work down my body and hold me close. I wanted all of him, or some of him. I couldn’t. I could only have none of him.

Harry:

It hurts, being rejected. But now I know.

“Thank you YN,” I say honestly.

“For what?” She brushes away another tear. I wish I could do that for her.

“Coming here tonight? Closure?”

“Thanks for showing me people change,” YN says after some silence, her voice breaks half-way and she turns away.

Something else I’d be haunted by.

“Y/N,” I tug her arm and she unspools in my arms. She fits exactly as I remember, a whirlwind of emotions threaten to overwhelm me as her scent fills my head. She felt like a dream, slipping away while I still held her.

Still, I hold on tight, desperate to replace every y/n-related ache with this feeling right here. But just like sand in my fingers, it’s impossible to cling onto.

Y/N pulls away slowly and I feel like the river’s gathered up a big enough tide to swallow me whole. I want her to stay, to give me another chance, to put aside our history and see who we were now.

But I stay silent, the words caught in my throat and held back; she’d just reject me again. As much as I needed to, we couldn’t go back.

“I think I should go,” she whispers. I should ask her to stay, to maybe get breakfast tomorrow, to see her one last time.

Instead I nod, I just fucking nod.

She turns and every step she takes there’s a part of me that leaves with her.

When I can no longer see her I turn back to the river and cry one of my own.

I wasn’t haunted by the ghost of her, but by the ghost of what could’ve been. The echoes of the night we met bounce off the walls of my head and I scream into the night. It feels good, but the shadow of us stays in the farthest corner of my heart.

“It’s no fair,” I whisper to the river.

The river streams on, a low shushing sound muffled by the night.

Maybe, I think, Y/N would visit here once more—maybe soon. Maybe she’d look down into the water like she always did and when she listened for the river’s secrets, maybe it would tell her mine.

“I still love her,” I confess to the river.

But the river only moves forward.

#harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #writingsfromhome #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #fic #harry styles angst #lyrics #lord huron #harry styles request #harry styles one shot #the night we met #not completely proofread

[won4ver]

song lyric dialogue prompts

“loving you was lethal” [EVIL by Melanie Martinez]

“slow dance with yourself in a lonely crowd” [ Die For You by Beauty School Dropout]

“i could never do it once and she did it twice” [we’re not alike by tate mcrae]

“all the drugs couldn’t ever make me love like i want to” [Unlovable by Beach Weather]

“I heard a song and started crying, it made me think of you” [Boyhood by Birth Day]

“please let me get what I want, lord knows it would be the first time” [Please Please Please Let Me Get What I want by The Smiths]

“you don’t have to change, you’re perfect the way you are” [Body Dysmorphia by Eyedress]

“I wanted you to want me back” [No Room 4 U by PROM]

“but I crumble completely when you cry” [505 by Arctic Monkeys]

“i’ve given all I can, it’s not enough” [Karma Police by Radiohead]

“but if I gave up on being pretty I wouldn’t know how to be alive” [Brand New City by Mitski]

“you look so pretty, pretty like the wind” [Black Friday by Tom Odell]

“the shade of your hair has changed but I look up to you the same” [if this is the last time by LANY]

“why am I jealous if i’m yours?” [gaslight by Nessa Barrett]

“will they love you when you’re famous?” [la di die by Nessa Barrett]

“be the girl you used to know, playing on the radio” [la di die by Nessa Berrett]

“dead on arrival, always a little too late” [WE MADE PLANS & GOD LAUGHED by Beauty School Dropout]

“it’s the same old situation, got you stuck in my head” [YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH… by Beauty School Dropout]

“did he touch you better than me?” [Creepin’ by Metro Boomin]

“you’re the worst of my crimes” [Best by Gracie Abrams]

“I don’t wanna fight anymore” [Sunshin Baby by The Japanese House]

“when i’m with you, I don’t wanna be with you” [Covet by Basement]

“Is it hesitance, or is this feeling heaven sent?” [Are You The One by Basement]

“I don’t love you, I just need to be loved” [Pine by Basement]

“I think I like you best when you’re just with me and no one else” [K. by Cigarettes After Sex]

“I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places” [affection by BETWEEN FRIENDS]

“wake me up when it’s over” [Sleepwalkimg by All Time Low]

“never thought id taste as good to anyone but you” [Pretty Venom by All Time Low]

“if you could have it all, why do you want me?” [Tonight You Are Mine by The Technicolors]

“i’d give up forever to touch you” [Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls]

“and to think that right now you’re a stranger, I hope it’s not like this forever” [I Hope It’s Not Like This Forever by Amber Run]

“you don’t know how lucky you are” [Acting My Age by The Academic]

“I see my reflection in your eyes” [Reflections by The Neighbourhood]

“I can’t forget, I can’t forgive you” [Family Line by Conan Gray]

“where did you learn what it means to reciprocate?” [Tek It by Cafuné]

“don’t you know you’re just another heartbreaker?” [Swoon by Beach Weather]

“if I could burn this town, I wouldn’t hesitate” [Choke by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME]

“I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your neck” [Fallingforyou by The 1975]

“how could anybody do the things you did so easily?” [the grudge by Olivia Rodrigo]

“I wish I could live without you” [Telephones by Vacation]

“It’s easy to forget that you are gone” [Nostolgia by Suki Waterhouse]

#won4ver ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི #won4ver ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི prompts #song prompt #lyric prompts #fanfic prompt #story prompts #writing prompts #prompt list #story prompt #kpop prompts #enhypen prompts #dialogue prompt #fic prompt #writing prompt #prompt #reylo prompt #journal prompts #whump prompt #art prompt #fanfiction prompts #dialogue prompts #smut prompts

[axel-skz]

SEUNGMIN IN THE BUILDING!

A/N: I wrote this half asleep 😭 I keep changing my idea for the Felix story so I moved up posting Seungmins. I love this one-shot though, it’s so cute. Right, now, song roulette. AA WE GOT ‘WAITING FOR US’! I feel like it’s been too long since I listened to it. Damn.

(No cus why is he so cute? Who allowed him to be this cute? I think he would kill me if I ever actually called him cute.)

You and Seungmin had been together for a couple months now. It was heaven.

You didn’t realise heaven was this sarcastic but it was heaven nonetheless.

You both enjoyed each other’s company a lot so you spent, some would say, too much time together. Jeongin would see you and smirk, always comedically checking the surrounding area to see where Seungmin was.

It was annoying that he would be right about his jokes and Seungmin was always right there.

One day, you both were doing your own things but like, in the same room. Because where else would you be? He was… harassing one of the members over text while watching TV. You were gaming.

You guys hadn’t used pet names at all yet (aside from you calling him Minnie) so what came now… embarrassed you to no end.

‘Baby, can you pass me my drink,’ you stupidly said while being too distracted by a part in your game to notice.

Seungmin, the cute little menace, smirked. Now he has ammunition.

‘Am I tiny? Am I bald?’ He replied, unmoving.

‘What? Is that a riddle or something?’ You paused your game to look at him in confusion.

‘You called me baby, what makes you say that?’ He grinned, resting his head on his palm.

You began to turn more and more red, ‘I did not!’ Yeah, lying seems like a great option right now.

‘Are you… saying my ears are broken? I’m picking up soundwaves from the neighbourhood? Like a bat? ARE YOU SAYING I’M BATMAN?!’ He gasped dramatically.

You stared at him blankly, ‘sometimes I think back to when I asked you out and I wish someone had run me over so I didn’t.’

‘I’m batman apparently so I wouldn’t have let that happen, sugar bear,’ he seemed a little too eager now.

‘Omg, why are you this way?,’ you whined as you covered your face.

‘I don’t know what you mean, honey nugget, I thought this was what we were doing now,’ you glared at him.

‘It slipped out, ok?! Can we forget it please??’

‘Your baby just slipped out? Wow, wierd of you tell me that. Bit Tmi.’

You got up and walked over to him. He had this smug smile on his face. He also looked confused about what you were planning.

You sat next to him then suddenly started tickling him.

He hated that and you knew it. Giggles escaped his mouth and he couldn’t look mad while he was laughing his ass off.

Eventually you stopped, ‘had enough, sugar bear?’

‘Ok, ok! Yes, I’ll stop now,’ he glared at you so you booped his nose and he blushed.

It made you laugh as you got up and went to get your water.

You heard him say something but couldn’t make it out, you poked your head back to look in the living room, ‘what?’

He was blushing like crazy and looking anywhere but you as he spoke, ‘you can call me baby or whatever if you want…’

You smiled and didn’t tease him too much about it, ‘that sounds nice Minnie. You can call me sugar bear or whatever.’

He laughed a little and then continued with whatever he was doing on his phone. The rest of the night passed without a sugar bear or a honey nugget being mentioned :)

Seungmin: You are right. *he’s suddenly stood behind me with an axe in his hand (lol, get it? Axe, Axel, Axe, Axel? Ok yeah, I think you get it)* I would kill you.

We can talk about this… I swear… I only called you cute because… of… umm… hold on, wait… I swear I can think up a good reason…

Seungmin: TIMES UP!

insert high speed chase here

Meanwhile, the boys on the side, sit with popcorn and drinks.

Minho: if he doesn’t catch her, I’ll be very disappointed, I taught him better then that.

Bang chan: you know, this is why I don’t leave him alone with you anymore.

Minho shrugs: fair.

They all start cheering as he slowly catches up but then aw as he falls back again.

YOU GUYS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIENDS TOO! WHY AM I ALWAYS IN DANGER WHEN I’M AROUND YOU!

Felix: if you live, I’ll bake you something!

Oh damn, totally worth it.

And suddenly I’m Usain Bolt.

#stray kids #skz #stray kids scenarios #skz fanfic #skz imagines #love stray kids #skz x reader #skz scenarios #stray kids angst #stray kids seungmin #kim seungmim #seungmin #seungmin in the building #seungmin x reader #seungmin x y/n #seungmin x you #skz fluff #skz seungmin #stray kids fluff #skz funny #stray kids fanfic #stray kids funny

[calliecwrites]

Attraction

Humans are weird. You don’t need me to tell you that. They’re stuck in one fixed form, their bodies get sick and age against their will, and physical damage disrupts them so much they stop existing. They’re made of meat. But the weirdest part is this ‘love’ thing they always talk about. I’ve read about it in books – I’ve read about it in lots of books – but I still don’t get it. How does it happen? What does it feel like? What does it feel like to be on the receiving end? Could a lump of meat ever love a blob of goo that can turn into anything?

It was my friend’s idea. She doesn’t see why I find this so interesting, but she’s always one to come up with a plan: try it. Find a human I like, take on a form and persona I think they might like, and see what happens. Repeat.

So I did. But there are rules for this kind of thing, and the most important is: never go back to the same human twice.

You can see where this is going.

See, I got hooked. It was pure luck that I found her. She was a world. She was many worlds. Her eyes lit up with the stories she told. She learned to shapeshift in her dreams, because the real world didn’t give her that option. I wished I could join her there, see what she saw. She was a shifter at heart – fluid as the ocean, wild as the wind – even more than I was. And the beauty and the tragedy of it, that she was born in flesh, but dared to dream anyway – how could I stay away?

Oh, I followed all the other rules. I followed them to a tee. I even tried other humans, at least to start with. But they weren’t her. So I went back, again and again, as the extroverted girl, as the quiet boy, as the older woman who’d seen the world, even as a stray cat living in her neighbourhood. And every time, when things started to happen, I did what I was supposed to do: I left, quietly and gently, before we got so close that leaving would hurt her. It’s not you, it’s me. If only she knew.

But rules are there for a reason. She started to think there was something wrong with her – why, whenever she got close to someone, did they always leave? What was I to do? Going back would hurt her more. Staying away was tearing me apart.

So I broke the biggest rule of all. I told her everything. I showed her what I was. Humans don’t like shifters – we learn that early on. But she laughed and cried and hugged me, and said she should have known, somehow – how had she not seen it, she said. It didn’t matter to her that I was goo, not meat. She chose me.

And me? I’m… comfortable. Is that love? It doesn’t sound like love as the humans describe it: the romance, the butterflies (butterflies?) – most of that is still a mystery to me. But I won’t be leaving her again.

Still, every time I change form, every time I turn fluid, she watches and smiles. She wishes she could join me. Is that possible? Can a human become a shifter? She gave me the gift of acceptance – could I give this gift to her? No one I ask knows. But the legends say it’s true. And the humans have a saying: that love conquers all. If anyone can find a way, we will. And through good or bad, rain or shine, we’ll do it together.

Also on Reddit, on Instagram.

#writing #writeblr #fiction #short story #sci-fi #sci-fi writing #sci-fi writer #my writing #writeblrcafe

[gabrielle-kl]

Not Your Average Legacy ~ Sims 3

Challenge Created by: gabrielle-kl

Proofreading was done by the lovely Simphora!

Hi, my name is Gabrielle and ever since early last year I wanted to see if I could create my own legacy challenge. Going into this challenge I want you to know that it’s not just about making a sim and completing the tasks to beat the challenge. This is a legacy challenge, however, I made it with endless storyline possibilities; think of it as a narrative adventure game where the player's choice is heavily impacted!

~ R U L E S ~ 

I do not specifically have rules other than following each generation in order and no money cheats (Only cheat your money for generation 1 for the starting funds). 

If you play my challenge I would love to see your sims in action! Please tag me with #notyouraveragelegacy so I can see it!

Generation 01 - Writer’s Block 

Ah….ok that’s pretty much that! You pack your bags, check your bank account to make sure you have enough simoleons, and finally your laptop. Perfect, you're out the door leaving your small family and hometown to focus on the only thing that makes you feel like everything around you is in your control. 

Growing up you liked making crazy narratives where there was always a twist at the end. You love making others wonder how you are going to finish the story. Like every book, it has chapters and your chapter begins in your new town. Now, this isn’t smart on your part but you got your new place for dirt cheap. I mean it’s empty, it only has your basic household necessities, and it’s not that bad but could be a fixer-upper.

Ignoring the fact you have barely anything in your home you take out your laptop….and head to town. You spot a cafe, decide to chill there for a bit and start doing what you love….writing. You honestly quite like this cafe and decided to write in here often, almost like your Jughead Jones.  

Like every writer….sometimes we get stuck and can’t think of anything to write, you are under a lot of stress; I mean I don’t blame you, your home doesn’t even have a comfy couch, not to mention you are low on funds, like really low. Frustrated with yourself, you head home and try to figure out how you are going to pay bills and afford necessities. Yeah, you're going to need a job. 

Get started: Start with a house or apartment  that is practically empty it only has the basic household needs (ex: stove, fridge, bed, toilet, etc)

* When you start making money here and there that’s when you can start personalizing your home* 

Starting simoleons: § 200

Traits - Artistic, Bookworm, Frugal, Perfectionist, Shy

Lifetime Wish - Professional Author 

Zodiac sign & Favourites: you choose

Goals ~

Visit the same community lot 3 times a week to write stories on your laptop 

Complete the writing skill 

Try to befriend your neighbours 

Get a part-time job of your choice 

Find your spouse at the same community lot you always visit 

Adopt a stray

Have as many kids as you want 

C H O I C E 

This Generation has a choice for the player to make. These are choices that you could build off of and integrate into your storyline.

After a while you realize the job you have now isn't making you happy, yeah it pays the bills but it is not what you want to do.

The choices are: to quit your job or find a way to get fired then register as a self-employed writer. 

Generation 02 - You never really grew up

As a kid, you were always playing with the kids who lived in your neighbourhood along with your siblings. You would play at the park, build forts, have sleepovers, tell stories and watch movies super late. You did everything with them, but that didn’t last long. Unfortunately, things don’t stay the same; some of your childhood friends started to drift and do different things that interest them, which includes spending time with other kids. Even your siblings tell you they don’t have time to do these activities with you anymore. You lose all contact with your childhood buddies because all you want to do is what you always did with them but they find it childish but you don’t.

It hurt for a while and you found it quite difficult to build friends in school because none of them were interested. But that didn’t stop you from being a kid at heart, you would go to online chat rooms and talk to people online. You would talk to a bunch of people there and eventually end up texting and calling each other. It makes you so happy that you have people that you can connect with, that don’t find your way of spending time with each other childish. 

Traits - Childish, Excitable, Good Sense of Humor, Social Butterfly, Computer Whiz

Lifetime Wish - Super Popular (Don’t worry you don’t need to complete it)

Goals ~

Befriend the kids in your neighbourhood or even some school kids

Collect 5 butterflies or Beetles

Always accept to hang out with friends 

Call friends often 

Get the distance relationship status with all your childhood friends once a teen

Make four new friends and keep those friends 

Never move out of your childhood home

Have 2-3 Kids 

Have three failed part-time jobs (constantly getting fired) 

C H O I C E 

This Generation has a choice for the player to make. These are choices that you could build off of and integrate into your storyline.

The choices are: you rekindle a friendship with one of your ex-friends or fall in love with someone in your friend group.  

Generation 03 - Wild 

You’re quite the charmer, it stands out amongst your siblings. Hey, it followed you right to high school, you were that semi-popular kid but mostly annoyed everyone with slick remarks. Well, I guess someone finds you funny because you end up finding yourself in a relationship, the two of you just clicked. You would go on dates with each other in the most random places sometimes. 

College applications are starting and you have already applied, however, your lover tells you he/she doesn’t have any plans to go to college. You both decide that instead of breaking up, you have a long-distance relationship. 

While at college you’re having a blast, and you tend to throw big dorm parties, like cops knocking on your door-type parties. Dorm mates secretly hate you but at least you clean up after yourself…in the morning….they can’t be mad at you forever, right?

Juggling studying, partying and a whole relationship back home, yep you didn’t think this through; the stress is getting to you but you don’t show it. But then you do something that you might regret.

Traits -  Irresistible, Born Salesperson, Charismatic, Party Animal, Eccentric 

Lifetime Wish - Descendant of Da Vinci (Optional to complete)

Goals ~

Have a high school sweetheart and remain with them throughout University

Get a secret matching tattoo with your lover as a teen 

Complete the Inventing skill and Handiness skill 

Use the invention crafting bench 

Apply for University and major in business 

Join a Sorority/Fraternity 

Throw big parties every week while at University 

Graduate from University and join the business career 

Work on inventions throughout your life and sell them for a profit

Call your girlfriend/boyfriend back home often 

Hook up with four different sims at one of your parties 

Have one kid

C H O I C E 

This Generation has a choice for the player to make. These are choices that you could build off of and integrate into your storyline. So you did cheat on your high school sweetheart during a party at university. What do you do? 

Confess about cheating on your partner once you return home or never tell them what you did.

If you tell them that you cheated on them depending on how they respond, you can rekindle the love or let them go and move on. However, if you decide to never tell them you have to stay with them and have another secret hookup with one of your hook-ups from your University days. (That’s brutal….)

Generation 04 - Guilty Pleasure 

I swear you just let anything fly out of your mouth! Of course, you don’t see anything wrong with it but your parents do and they are very concerned about it. That however doesn’t bother you at all, as a kid you liked to obsess over the weirdest things and would not shut up about it. If it interested you, you made sure everyone around you knew about it too.

A lot of other people you know find the things you are into very strange and none of your friends are interested in them, they think it's weird and I don’t blame them. You pick up random hobbies but can never stick to one, you also like dressing up in random costumes doing these hobbies. You are in your own little world and to you, it’s your guilty pleasure. However, being a young adult and trying to please your parents at the same time is very tricky, so you get a job in the cooking business and try your best to be responsible and work hard in your career. But knowing you that doesn’t work out, does it? 

You check in with your parents every week and let them know how “amazing” you are in your career and how well life is going for you. It’s your way of showing them how much you've matured…..although what they don’t know can’t hurt them. You like to go to clubs and bars every weekend and sip a few drinks and go on stage and show the crowd how talented you are! Maybe a shot at stardom?…. Yeah in your dreams. 

On one of your weekly trips to the bar you get yourself into a pickle, how are you going to cover this up now?

Traits - Inappropriate, Heavy Sleeper, No Sense of Humour, Clumsy, and Insane 

Lifetime Wish - One Sim Band (Optional to complete)

Goals ~ 

Reach Level 5 in five different skills

Go out to eat with your parents / call them every week (while they're still alive)

Go to bars/clubs every weekend and have a few drinks before you get up on stage and do Karaoke

Have three good friends 

Get into two fights at the bar/club

Get Pregnant or get another pregnant sim from a random hookup

C H O I C E 

This Generation has a choice for the player to make. These are choices that you could build off of and integrate into your storyline.

Oh no! Now you’ve got a kid, what are YOU going to do? Either, keep in touch with the other parent, have he/she visit your kid and maybe this little hook-up could be more, or not? Up to you. Or after your child is born you keep the baby with you and never speak to the other parent again.

Generation 05 - Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

You can’t stand your mom/dad (Gen 4 parent) everything they do is so questionable as if they have zero idea what's going on at all times; the majority of your free time is spent watching action channels on tv or playing with action figures. You spend most of your time in your room with the door locked and you don’t care to make friends with kids your age so it’s just you. No matter how much your mom/dad tries to please you, you do not pay them any attention. You like spy movies and you decided being a secret agent is your dream job no matter what the cost was. However, being in this line of work made you quite paranoid and all of a sudden you disappeared. Where did you go?

Traits - Perceptive, Genius, Ambitious, Good and Neurotic 

Lifetime Wish - International Super Spy

Goals ~ 

Have good grades in school (child to teen)

Move out of mom/dad's house once a young adult (Get a part-time job if you have to)

Max the Charismatic skill 

Have a high level of Logic skill

Have a high level of athletic skill (doesn’t need to be maxed)

Have a mediocre relationship with Gen 4 parent

Get a job in law enforcement (eventually, go into the special agent branch)

Surprisingly you fall in love with someone you work with

Have two kids 

C H O I C E 

This Generation has a choice for the player to make. These are choices that you could build off of and integrate into your storyline.

You've grown quite paranoid ever since you started working as a spy. You think that in the middle of the night, someone is going to come for you, I mean I don’t know who but you do.

Pack your bags and all your belongings, leave your spouse and kids behind, move to an off-the-grid location and lose contact with everyone you know. Quit being a spy to start a new “safe life” (that’s not messed up in the slightest, but hey who am I to judge) 

Or 

In the middle of the night, you decide to wake up your spouse and tell them to get the kids and pack their packs and meet you in the car. Because all of you are moving to a new home that is far far away from your original home to start a “new life”. 

Generation 06 - Globetrotter 

All of a sudden your life changed overnight. Literally! Everything you once knew before is all different now, nothing feels like how it used to be and they won’t even tell you why. No one will tell you why. You started acting up as a teen; going out late at night, staying up super late, fighting, you even ran away. You only made it to a park but that was cut short because one of your parents found you, your life is a complete mess. Honestly, I don’t blame you; but apart from being angry all the time you found a hobby you quite enjoy. 

Remember when I said you attempted to run away? Well, this time you steal your parent's credit card and sneak out at night to a completely different country. Who cares where it was, you just wanted to feel some adrenaline for once. On your adventure, you decided to start taking a lot of pictures of everything you saw and started engaging in conversation with the people who lived there. Your childhood was pretty much sheltered and even though your parents are frantically searching for you, you're too busy living it up overseas; might as well send a postcard!

Traits - Hot-Headed, Commitment Issues, Photographer’s Eye, Adventurous, and Kleptomanic 

Lifetime Wish - Blog Artist

Goals ~ 

Have a terrible relationship with Gen 5 parent (if they are still in your life)

Master Photography, Social Networking

Have above Level 5 in writing 

Go for a jog once a week

Have three different romantic relationships with sims from three different worlds

Be disliked by two sims

Go on vacation five times throughout your life or even more (you are a traveller, of course)

Have a Level 5-star blog (you blog about your travels)

C H O I C E 

This Generation has a choice for the player to make. These are choices that you could build off of and integrate into your storyline.

These are your choices: Life is moving fast for you and you are a busy individual. However, you do not want to have a job and instead of just working you find another alternative….your brilliant idea is to gamble to solve all your problems! 

Or 

You love your blog, you really do and you love your followers but you want more. You want to live life luxuriously and never have to worry about money. So you find yourself chatting it up with the celebs in your city, how? I don’t know but you find a way.

Hope you really enjoy this challenge as much as I had fun making it. Dag, Dag! :)

#Not Your Average Legacy ~ Sims 3 #notyouraveragelegacy #ts3 #The sims 3 #Sims 3 #sims 3 legacy challenge

[specialagentlokitty]

Saul silva/ Farah x Student!reader - not so lonely with you

Or a student reader who sees them as parental figures as hers aren't the best/aren't alive? - @casserole-from-dads-asserole 💜

Sitting on the steps of your parents house, you stared out into the street as you sighed, looking at all the neighbourhood children running around, laughing and playing.

They were loving their winter, having the best time of their lives and you wished you could go back to that.

Standing up, you walked back inside the empty house and looked around before making your way to your parents bedroom and sitting in the stairs.

It hasn’t changed since that day, sure, you’d clean it, but that was it, the sheets were the same fresh ones they had put on, your dad’s favourite hoodie laid out on the bed because he was going to wear it.

He never got the chance to, you debated letting him have his send off with it, but you didn’t want to leave it.

You heard your phone chime, so you got up and walked back to your room to see a few missed messages from your suite chat, and one from your headmistress.

Miss Dowling: your homework is overdue, are you able to send it in?

Looking at the message you put your phone down and started at the laptop in front of you.

You had your homework up, but you just didn’t want to do it, you didn’t want to talk to your suite mates, you didn’t want to work, you didn’t want to do anything.

You hated this time of year, despised it.

As you wondered around this empty home, it reminded you of what you were missing, so you pulled on your jacket and left.

Wondering into the snowy streets as you just started to walk around without any destination in mind.

You went to a few shops, and walked back with a bag in your hand only to stop when you reached your door.

“Bloom?”

“Hey, sorry, I know you don’t want to see anyone, but I thought I’d give you this.” She smiled.

She held a small present out for you and you took it, setting it carefully into the bag.

“Thank you…”

“Uhm.. also Dowling and Silva are coming here..”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, they asked for your address. I hope you don’t mind, and mom said you can come over anytime.”

You just nodded and went inside the house and she sighed, leaving you alone since she knew that’s what you wanted.

It’s all you wanted around Christmas, was to be left alone.

You sat on the living room floor, you took everything out of the bag.

Setting Blooms present for you on the table, you looked at the other two, carefully wrapped thanks to a helpful man at the store.

You picked them up, and got up, walking to the table in the corner of the room, you carefully set them down in front of the two pictures.

“I’ll bring them to you on Christmas..” you whispered.

Walking away, you tried to find something to pass the time, cleaning, taking a short nap and finally cooking something to eat.

That’s when there was a knock on the door and you got up, walking over to open to.

“Hello.” You greeted.

“Good evening (Y/N).” Farah smiled.

“Do you mind if we come in for a talk?” Silva asked.

You stepped aside to let them in and closed the door, locking it.

“I’m making dinner, so you want some?” You asked.

“That would be nice, thank you.” Farah nodded.

They followed you through to the kitchen and looked around the home while they did.

“Is everything alright?” Silva asked.

“I suppose. Why?”

“Everyone’s concerned for you, your suite mates haven’t heard from you, and every attempt to contact you has failed. We just wanted to check in with you.” Farah explained.

You dished up the food and carried their plates to the table before bringing your own through and sitting down.

“The holiday cheer isn’t my thing.”

They looked up from their food.

“You don’t like Christmas?” Silva asked.

“No. Sometimes I go to blooms on Christmas Eve, but that’s it.”

The two teachers shared a look.

“So.. you just spend it alone?” Farah asked.

You nodded your head, silently eating your dinner.

They were aware that you lived alone, but that was as much as they knew.

“Why not spend it with friends? Family?” Farah asked.

“Aside from bloom all my friends live either in solaria or England, and I have no family. If you’re here for the homework I’ll do it, but I guess I could use some help since your both here.”

“Of course.” Silva nodded.

You all finished eating, you took their dishes away and went to get your laptop and you all sat in the living room while they helped you with all the homework you hadn’t been doing.

It took a while to do, and when late night rolled around you had finished.

“You can stay here. There’s a guest room and someone can sleep on the couch, but I don’t have any spare clothes.”

“That’s fine, I’ll take the sofa, thank you.” Silva smiled.

You nodded, leading Farah to the guest room, and after showing them both where everything was you went to bed.

Morning came around, and you woke up late, going downstairs you thought the two teachers would be gone but they weren’t.

Farah was washing the dishes while Silva was making breakfast.

“You can go.”

“Well, we don’t actually have any plans for Christmas, so we’re going to stay here.” Silva smiled.

“Why?”

Farah turned around, drying her hands.

“We just don’t feel right leaving you in your own. Christmas is clearly a hard time for you, so we’ll stay. Maybe you can show us around?” Farah smiled.

You shrugged a little, stuffing your hands in your pockets.

“Okay.”

And you did, you showed them around, showed them places you used to go as a child.

They told you what they used to do for Christmas and you did the same thing, telling them what you used to do.

And when Christmas rolled around you got ready to go out.

“You’re going out?” Silva asked.

“You can come if you want.”

“Give us a minute.” Farah smiled.

You nodded and waited for them, then you adjusted the bag on your shoulder and left the house.

The streets were quiet and they did question where you all were going but you didn’t tell them, you kept wondering until you came across the gates.

“Merry Christmas kid.” The man smiled.

“Thank you sir, can we go in?”

“Of course. Here.”

He opened the gates for you and you walked in, following the path you were so used to until you stopped and took your bag off.

Silva and Farah shared a look but stayed quiet as they watched what was going on.

You crouched down, opening your bag you pulled out the two presents and set them in the snow, and wiped the headstones.

“Merry Christmas mom.. dad..” you whispered.

You sat down in the snow and started to talk to them, and the two teachers crouched down behind you, both placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

And you reached up, putting your hand over your own as you smiled a little bit and carried on talking

#fate the winx saga imagine #fate the winx saga x reader #fate the winx saga #fate the winx saga x you #saul silva #saul silva imagine #saul silva x reader #saul silva x you #Farah Dowling #farah dowling x reader #Farah Dowling x you #Farah Dowling imagine

[iridescentoracle]

you know what those last tags are getting their own post actually because it’s TRUE and it’s IMPORTANT

#also [slams fist on table] HOLMES SPENDS THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION PRAISING AND THANKING WATSON #AND CALLING HIM INVALUABLE AND SAYING HE COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT WATSON'S HELP DAMMIT #he refuses to stop emphasizing how important watson has been to the case until watson smiles!!! #and even then he brings it up again later in the conversation more than once!!! #YES i am still holding a grudge against The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939) dir. Sidney Lanfield NO i will not let this go

'The surprise was not all on one side, I assure you. I had no idea that you found my occasional retreat, still less that you were inside it, until I was within twenty paces of the door.'

'My footprint, I presume?'

'No, Watson, I fear that I could not undertake to recognize your footprint amid all the footprints of the world. If you seriously desire to deceive me you must change your tobacconist, for when I see the stub of a cigarette marked Bradley, Oxford Street, I know that my friend Watson is in the neighbourhood. You will see it there beside the path. You threw it down, no doubt, at that supreme moment when you charged into the empty hut.'

'Exactly.'

'I thought as much - and knowing your admirable tenacity, I was convinced that you were sitting in ambush, a weapon within reach, waiting for the tenant to return. So you actually thought that I was the criminal?'

'I did not know who you were, but I was determined to find out.'

'Excellent, Watson! And how did you localize me? You saw me, perhaps, on the night of the convict hunt, when I was so imprudent as to allow the moon to rise behind me?'

'Yes, I saw you then.'

'And have, no doubt, searched all the huts until you came to this one?'

'No, your boy had been observed, and that gave me a guide where to look.'

'The old gentleman with the telescope, no doubt. I could not make it out when first I saw the light flashing upon the lens.' He rose and peeped into the hut. 'Ha, I see that Cartwright has brought up some supplies. What's this paper? So you have been to Coombe Tracey, have you?'

'Yes.'

'To see Mrs Laura Lyons?'

'Exactly.'

'Well done! Our researches have evidently been running on parallel lines, and when we unite our results I expect we shall have a fairly full knowledge of the case.'

'Well, I am glad from my heart that you are here, for indeed the responsibility and the mystery were both becoming too much for my nerves. But how in the name of wonder did you come here, and what have you been doing? I thought that you were in Baker Street working out that case of blackmailing.'

'That was what I wished you to think.'

'Then you use me, and yet do not trust me!' I cried, with some bitterness. 'I think that I have deserved better at your hands, Holmes.'

'My dear fellow, you have been invaluable to me in this as in many other cases, and I beg that you will forgive me if I have seemed to play a trick upon you. In truth, it was partly for your own sake that I did it, and it was my appreciation of the danger which you ran which led me to come down and examine the matter for myself. Had I been with Sir Henry and you it is evident that my point of view would have been the same as yours, and my presence would have warned our very formidable opponents to be on their guard. As it is, I have been able to get about as I could not possibly have done had I been living at the Hall, and I remain an unknown factor in the business, ready to throw in all my weight at a critical moment.'

'But why keep me in the dark?'

'For you to know could not have helped us, and might possibly have led to my discovery. You would have wished to tell me something, or in your kindness you would have brought me out some comfort or other, and so an unnecessary risk would be run. I brought Cartwright down with me - you remember the little chap at the Express office-and he has seen after my simple wants: a loaf of bread and a clean collar. What does man want more? He has given me an extra pair of eyes upon a very active pair of feet, and both have been invaluable.'

'Then my reports have all been wasted!' My voice trembled as I recalled the pains and the pride with which I had composed them.

Holmes took a bundle of papers from his pocket.

'Here are your reports, my dear fellow, and very well thumbed, I assure you. I made excellent arrangements, and they are only delayed one day upon their way. I must compliment you exceedingly upon the zeal and the intelligence which you have shown over an extraordinarily difficult case.'

I was still rather raw over the deception which had been practised upon me, but the warmth of Holmes's praise drove my anger from my mind. I felt also in my heart that he was right in what he said, and that it was really best for our purpose that I should not have known that he was upon the moor.

'That's better,' said he, seeing the shadow rise from my face. 'And now tell me the result of your visit to Mrs Laura Lyons - it was not difficult for me to guess that it was to see her that you had gone, for I am already aware that she is the one person in Coombe Tracey who might be of service to us in the matter. In fact, if you had not gone to-day it is exceedingly probable that I should have gone to-morrow.'

The sun had set and dusk was settling over the moor. The air had turned chill, and we withdrew into the hut for warmth. There, sitting together in the twilight, I told Holmes of my conversation with the lady. So interested was he that I had to repeat some of it twice before he was satisfied.

'This is most important,' said he, when I had concluded. 'It fills up a gap which I had been unable to bridge, in this most complex affair. You are aware, perhaps, that a close intimacy exists between this lady and the man Stapleton?'

[…]

'It is he, then, who is our enemy - it is he who dogged us in London?'

'So I read the riddle.'

'And the warning - it must have come from her!'

'Exactly.'

[…]

The darkness was rising, but much was still hidden by the shadows.

'If this woman is in truth his wife, where does Mrs Laura Lyons come in?' I asked.

'That is one of the points upon which your own researches have shed a light. Your interview with the lady has cleared the situation very much.

he simply will not stop telling watson how important he’s been and praising watson for keeping up with holmes’ train of thought!!!

#sherlock holmes #HOUN

[somewhereontheeastsideofsorrow]

we all burn, burn, burn, and die. chapter 4 - today has been enough

masterlist part 3 part 5

AU where Mattheo's dad isn't voldemort, (voldemorts last name isn't Riddle), him nor the slytherin boys are deatheaters, they all live in a neighbourhood/village type thing together with a few other people. Readers' parents are loyal to voldemort but not her. She is a Gryffindor, and I will be using she/her pronouns throughout the story.

Story Summary: Y/N King is dating Mattheo Riddle, but Y/N is forced to make a decision by her father and voldemort himself that ruins everything. Will Y/N and Mattheo find their way back to each other in the end? Will Mattheo understand? How does Y/N cope with all the gut-wrenching shit I put her through?

WARNINGS, PLEASE READ: mentions of abuse, mentions of sex (slight smut), crack, fluff, ANGST, deaths of a major and minor character, car crash (not involving reader), alcohol, smoking, time skips, swearing, crying, mention of dead bodies. If I've missed any please let me know.

A/N: This was written on my phone, so sorry if there are mistakes. Also, please do not repost my work and claim as yours. If you wish to, ask me and give credit, but reblogs, comments, likes and recommendations are appreciated 😊

Today's the first day of classes, we are sitting in our form class, waiting for Professor Lupin-Black to give us our class schedules.

"How many classes do you guys think we will get together?" Enzo asks.

"Probably none." Draco groans tiredly.

Professor Lupin-Black passes us our schedules, and we immediately compare them.

"I have dark arts first." Max says.

"Same." Exclaims Enzo.

"You lot all have dada with eachother. I made sure of it." Sirius interrupts.

"Thanks Dad". Says Isaiah. We almost all have all of our classes together except for Draco and Max, who have charms when we have divination.

"Is everything okay with ducky?" Thomas whispers to me during dada while the others are engaged in a different conversation.

"Yeah, she was nervous about what would happen if Dad found out that she was in Hufflepuff. She's 11 Thomas she shouldn't have to worry about how bad her dad is gonna smack her around." I whisper back, making sure anyone wasn't listening.

"I know, but we have a plan for when she goes home, so she'll be okay, he won't find out." Thomas reassures. "It'll be okay."

"I hope so Thomas"

[Time skip to 3 weeks of classes]

"You're coming to the party tonight, aren't you love?" Mattheo asks as we lie in his bed.

I make a noise of agreement and press my face further into his chest. He leans down and kisses my forehead.

"We should start heading down for dinner." Matt says.

"Ughhhh." I groan as I stretch out my stiff limbs as I stand up. Mattheo gets up too, and we both walk to dinner hand in hand.

------

Me and Juniper are walking to the party from her dorm after getting ready.

"I hope I get laid tonight." Juni says out of nowhere.

"Good luck." I laugh at her randomness. She laughs too as we walk into the Slytherin common room where the party is. I see Matt and the others over by the couch with drinks in their hand. I walk over to Mattheo, and he puts his arm around my waist.

"You look beautiful love, if the party hadn't only just started, you would already be in my dorm, and your clothes would be on the floor." He mumbles quietly as he pulls me over to the couch and sits me on his lap.

"Matt, stop." I say as he presses a kiss to my neck. That isn't helping me not want my clothes to be on his floor right now, too.

"Don't worry baby, your clothes will be on my floor later tonight." He says in between, pressing a kiss to my cheek, then the corner of my mouth.

"Is that a promise?" I say, enraptured by the feeling of his lips on me.

"Riddle!" A voice snaps. "Stop kissing my sister." We look up and see Finn looking at us.

"As if you don't kiss Cedric, lover boy." I shoot back.

"Shut up." He mumbles as his face goes red. I laugh as he goes to get a drink.

"'Course it's a promise pretty girl, can't wait." Mattheo whispers in my ear before he takes the smoke from Blaise and offers it to me.

As the party goes on, people are getting drunk, and more people are dancing and snogging in the corner. The rest of the night is a blur, dancing with Juni, then Matt, seeing Finn and Cedric leave the party with a bottle of fire whiskey each in their hand, then waking up to see my clothes on Matt's dorm floor just as he promised.

I woke up the next morning with a weird feeling deep down maybe i needed to eat or something, I looked at the clock to see that it was 9 o'clock and that we had indeed missed breakfast. I sit up from the bed, untangling myself from Mattheo, feeling sore from what happened last night and getting goosebumps on my arms from not feeling the warmth of his body anymore, I stand up to head towards the bathroom, my legs shaking

"Look at you waddling baby, was my cock that good huh?" I hear Mattheo call out with no doubt a grin on his face.

"M'not waddling, I can walk perfectly fine." I say turning around to face him as heat fills my face.

"Go ahead then, prove to me that you can walk perfectly fine, if you can, I clearly didn't do a good enough job." He sits up to watch me walk to the bathroom with a limp.

"Fuck you." I say unimpressed, as I stop walking and turn to face him.

"If you want me fuck you again just say so my little penguin." He says grinning before standing up and walking to the bathroom and turning the shower on. I start to follow him but he comes back out and drapes me over his shoulder, taking me into the shower.

______

When we walk down the stairs that lead to the common room, Thomas, Theo, Enzo, Draco, Max, Blaise and a few others scattered all over the common room, passed out drunk.

"Should we wake them up?" I ask Mattheo.

"Nah just leave 'em, they'll wake up soon enough."

"Are you sure? They look dead." I laugh as I snap my fingers infront of Thomas' face and he doesn't move.

"Oh fuck, maybe they really are dead."

"Nope not dead, just hungover." Theo mumbles from the couch.

"Good morning to you too Theo." Mattheo says.

"It's definitely not a good morning, it's never a good morning when I'm hungover." He groans into the couch.

"We were gonna go see if there's any food from breakfast left if you wanna come?"

"Food?" Blaise said groggily. "I want food."

"Fucking hell, you scared the shit out of me, i thought you were asleep!"

"Nope, I've been awake the whole time, I was waiting for you guys to come down just in case you and your little penguin decided to bring your baby penguin making out of the shower."

"Blaise!"

"What? I did wait, but I got tired of waiting so I went up to the dorm, I was about to knock on the door when I heard Mattheo say he wanted to fuck his little penguin." He says shrugging it off. We both look at him as if he's grown two heads. "It's okay guys I'm not kink shaming you or anything, but i feel that i should call animal protective services."

"Do i even wanna know what he's talking about?" Thomas asks.

"Probably not." Enzo answers. "I only heard half of the story, and I'm kind of confused on why Mattheo wants to fuck little penguins?"

"WHAT! WHY IS MATTHEO FUCKING LITTLE PENGUINS?!" Max yells.

"For fuck sakes! I'm not fucking little penguins!" Mattheo yells back. By this point everyone has woken up, Blaise and Theo are rolling on the ground in laughter, Enzo, Thomas and Isaiah are concerned yet confused, Max appears to be in shock and feeling bad for the little penguins, and Draco is too hungover to be dealing with this shit at 9 in the morning.

______

We arrived at the great hall and there was still food left on the tables, as well as the odd group of people still talking. We put food on our plates and began to eat.

"How much do you guys remember about last night?" Max asks.

"Fuck all." Says Theo. The others hum in agreement."

Not long after Juniper walks through the doors and over to us and takes a seat next to me.

"You all look fucking miserable, well apart from Y/N/N." She says, grabbing a plate of food.

"Thanks Juni." Enzo says sarcastically, while flipping her off.

"Juni was your mission successful or not?" I ask referring to her saying she hoped she got laid last night.

"My mission?" She says confused.

"Yeah, your mission." I say back giving her a look.

"Ohhh, my mission." She says understanding. "My mission was very successful".

"You'll have to tell me details of your mission later."

"Yes Ma'am." She says smirking.

"Umm, is Juni a assassin or something?" Enzo asks.

"Or something." Juni replies and we both start laughing.

------

[2 days later]

We were in the middle of potions when Minnie walked and talked to Snape.

"Miss and Mr King, pack up your stuff and follow Professor McGonagall." Snapes voice drones across the room. Thomas and I look at eachother and stand up, putting our stuff into our bags and follow McGonagall out of the classroom and down the hallway.

"What's this about Professor?" Thomas asks.

"No need to worry, you're not in trouble, I'll explain when we reach my office." She explains. The weird feeling from the morning after the party hadn't gone away and only increased as we walked to her office. When we reached her office she sits us down on one side of the desk and herself on the other.

"Now, I would like to reassure you that there is no reason to worry, but it seems as though Finn didn't turn up for class nor mealtimes, yesterday and today, and I was wondering if you've heard from him at all, I've had Professor Snape go up to his dorm to see if he's there but his dorm mates said he wasn't there and they haven't seen him since Sunday night." Minnie says.

"I haven't heard from him now that I think about it because I usually see him in the common room and I haven't." Thomas responded.

"I haven't seen him either, not since Sunday." I say my concern growing by the minute. "Have you asked Cedric Diggory?"

"Mr Diggory has also been absent, we've called your parents your father answered he said Finn wasn't there, Mr Diggory isn't at his home either."

"Should we be worried Miss, it's been almost two days since anyone's seen them." Thomas voices.

"Not at this moment no, if they haven't turned up by tomorrow lunchtime, I'll make an announcement to the school during dinner asking if anyone has seen them." She reassures.

"OK, thanks, Minnie." I say as we get up to leave. "If you find out where they are, can you let us know, please?"

"Of course, now go back to class, you two, and don't worry, I'm sure he's okay." Minnie says. We walk out of her office and back down the hallway.

"Do you really think she believes he's okay? Or do you think she was just saying it to make us not worry." I question.

"I don't know Y/N."

"What if something bad happened to him, I've had a weird feeling since the morning after the party. What if Dad found out he was dating Cedric and-

"That's enough Y/N/N." He said when he cut me off. "I'm sure he's fine." He says maybe trying to convince more than just me. "He's probably ran off with Cedric somewhere."

"Yeah."

------

We were sitting in the Slytherin common room after dinner just talking. I was in Mattheo's lap on the small couch and the boys and Juni and a few others were scattered over the rest of the couches and chairs.

"Oi twinsies, what happend with Minnie today." Dylan asked.

"She was asking us if we'd seen Finn, apparently he hasn't been in class or at mealtimes since Sunday dinner." Thomas explains.

"That's must be why Snape came up to our dorm and asked if we'd see him." Tom said.

"Yeah, Cedric's gone too, Minnie said if they haven't shown up by tomorrow lunchtime, she'll make an announcement to the school during dinner to see if anyone's seen them and go from there." Thomas replied.

"Are you alright, love?" Mattheo whispers in my ear.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Don't do that, tell me the truth baby."

"If anything I'm just worried, he at least could've called, texted or sent an owl, but nope, nothing but radio silence."

"He'll show up soon enough, love."

"What if he doesn't." I say my voice getting louder. "What if he's dead in a ditch somewhere."

"You don't know that though do you?" He says softly, while stroking my arm up and down. "He's more than likely just gone somewhere with Cedric. Okay?"

I sigh and lean into his chest.

"Probably, but that doesn't explain why he hasn't at least made some form of contact." He just kisses my forehead and pulls me in tighter to him, wrapping his arms around me.

------

I woke up to a knock on the door of my dorm, who the hell was knocking on my door at 3 in the morning. I open the door to see Professor McGonagall standing there with a dressing gown on over top of her pyjamas, with a distraught look on her face.

"Miss King, please follow me to my office it's urgent. It's about your brother." She stated in a shaky voice as if she was trying to keep her composure.

"Finn? Is he okay". I responded as I closed my door behind me and followed her down the stairs.

"Yes, it's about Finn. But we'll talk more in my office."

The rest of the walk there was filled with the sounds of our footsteps as we walked through the halls. When we arrived at McGonagall's office, Thomas, Leo, Prim and Arlen were there, as well as Snape, Sirius, Mattheo, Max, and Cedrics family.

"What's happend? Where's Finn?." The shakiness in my voice that I tried to hide showed through.

"Take a seat Miss King." McGonagall said as she gestured to the seat next to Thomas. I sat down and looked at him and by the look on his he seemed know just as much as me.

"I received a call about an hour ago from the ministry police." She hesitated to say the next words. "2 teenage boys were found in a crashed car in the country, the ministry police called me because fire whiskey and wands were in the car and they recognised a dark mark on one of the boy's arms, they figured they might be Hogwarts students so they asked me to come and view the bodies to see if i recognised th-" she blew out a breath before continuing. "T-to see if recognised them, I did. It was Finn and Cedric. I'm so sorry." The earth felt as if it went still, as if it all been turned to stone, it was so quiet you could a pin drop.

"No-nonono, my baby, by baby boy, he's gone." The unsettling screams of Cedric's mother rattled throughout the heavy room. I looked around the room in disbelief, as if everything was in slow motion, I saw Prim and Leo crash into Arlen sobbing, Arlen having to brace himself against the wall, Max fell back into Sirius, Sirius comforting him, with a hug and rubbing his back, I felt pang of longing, longing to have a father who comforts his children instead of beating them, I looked at Thomas next, he was looking down at his hands on his lap, mouth agape, Mattheo had tears on his face I'd only seen him cry once, the day of his father had been dead for 15 years, which was only about 4 months ago.

"What?" I said as I looked at the woman in front of me who seemed to have aged 10 years in a matter of seconds. She cleared her throat before she answered me.

"Finn and Cedric have passed away." She said somberly. Mrs Diggorys cries became louder and the statement. Arlen was crying now, so was Thomas and Sirius, Leo and Prim seemed to cry harder too. Mattheo came next to me wiping his tears away, he tried to turn my face towards him, but I resisted and looked back at McGonagall.

"Passed away? He's dead?" She nodded her head and Mattheo whispered my name. "Are you sure it's him? It might be someone else." I didn't want to believe her. Mattheo said my name again but I ignored him. "No, no, no, you don't get to tell me that." I said standing up, my chair falling back, that weird feeling turned to what I can only describe as a mix of anger, denial, shock, numbness, my stomach sunk, i thought i might throw up if it weren't for the now seemingly distant cries around me. "No." My voice trembled, eyes burning as tears made their tracks down my face. "No, you're lying! He's not dead! Don't tell me that." I hissed. It had to be a sick fucking joke, he can't be dead not when he was so full of life almost 3 days ago.

"Y/N." Mattheo quaked into my ear. I turned to him and looked him in the face.

"Their lying Matty, their fucking lying. I already have 3 dead brothers. I don't want another one, don't wanna 'nother one Matty." My voice strained, eyes wide as I fell into him, sinking to the floor.

Tears were rapidly falling now, I couldn't stop them, my face in Mattheo's chest as he held me on the floor. I could see Thomas still sitting on the chair infront of McGonagall's desk.

"Thomas." I cried. "Thomas." I outstretched my arms, and he rushed to the floor, hugging me back. Mattheo hugged me closer to him and resting his head on mine pressing kisses to the top of my head. By now Arlen, Prim and Leo were on the floor too, Prim gripping tightly to the back of my shirt, I moved one arm behind me to pull Prim next to me and on to my lap, Mattheo had pulled away to make room for Arlen and Leo. Leo was beside Thomas and Arlen went behind us pulling us into his arms as much as he could. He gestured for Mattheo to come into as he fell behind me hugging me and Prim, Arlen placed a hand on Mattheos back as we sat in the middle of the floor grieving Finn.

-----

Mattheo and I were in my dorm, sitting on my bed. He had just helped me gather some things to put into a bag so that I could go back to the house.

"Do you need anything? Want me to do anything?" He mumbled as he was kissing my head.

"No." I replied. "Just hold me til I have to go." More tears fell down my face onto his shirt. "Today has been enough."

-----

Chapter title is from the poem Fear and Friday's by Zach Bryan.

I do not, and will not fear tomorrow Because I feel as though "today has been enough"

#WABBBAD #gryffindor #hufflepuff #slytherin #ravenclaw #hogwarts houses #slytherin boys #blaise zabini #draco malfoy #mattheo x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo x you #mattheoxreader #mattheo x y/n #for you #everyone lives au #well nearly everyone #harry potter #harrypotter #cedric diggory #hermione granger #harry potter fanfiction #mattheo riddle fanfic

[vexxandra]

intuitive messages from your person (really specific so probably not gonna resonate lol)

first time doing this! a bit of practice, since im not good with listening to my intuition. but were trying new things this new year. lool lets get started :D

m tellin u its like super SUPER specific ;D

pile one:

things that could have significance : genshin, but more specifically, wishing, debate clubs, when you wish upon a star, steven universe end credits (love like you), lavender or mint, milk, the name sofia?, sweaters or oversized clothes,  telephone (the song or the object), dial/tone, closet

hello dear. have i been away for too long? apologies, work is very hard nowadays and i find that ive been losing myself more and more. but ive been thinking about you quite a lot. especially at night. dreaming of you. ive been irresponsable, not answering your calls quickly enough and leaving things to pile up between the two of us. but please know that im working very hard and trying the best i can. you must be furious with me, and i can understand that. give me more time, and i promise i wont let you down. id never let you down. i love you too much to ever be able to do that. ive been losing sleep, and thats tiring because i get to see you when i sleep so i find that ive been taking meds more often to help with that. thats stupid, and id know you tell me the same. god, i wish you were next to me right now. then id fall asleep quicker than a light flicks off. music. ill speak to you through our favorite songs, and ill listen for things you say to me in yours as well. its time for me to say good bye though. know that nothing has changed between us, and i care for you as much as ever before.

signed, yours.

pile two:

things that could have significance: grocery stores at night, denki kaminari vibes honestly!!, mixtapes (like old cassette ones), guitar, dog or pets, crescent, artic monkeys, blasting music super loud, summertime, you get me so high - the neighbourhood, electric (or electric love)

gee, its really been a while since we’ve talked last. you’re my best friend, ill love you forever, yknow that? you’re super cool. cooler than popsicles on a summer day. cooler than penguins in the north pole. wait-- penguins live in the south pole? no one told me that?! hey! its not my fault, i never knew that. jeez... still teasing as ever, huh? sometimes i wonder how it would have been if i hadn’t moved away/transferred schools. we’d be tightknit! and we already are. there are so many stupid pictures of us in my camera roll that i jsut scroll through them when i feel like i miss you. nahh im just playing! i always miss you! we should totally hang out sometime soon! lets race grocery carts!

see ya! - your best friend

pile three:

things that could have significance: notebooks, preppy or academia aesthetic, fandom or into dnd, pearls or pearly whites, ‘shade’ colors (white, grey, black-- but emphasis on grey), 505 by artic monkeys, classroom, bunch of school imagery

dear you

why do you have to be so perfect? ive always been top of my class, such an overachiever, but with you, its like all of my accomplishments are suddenly fade away. you’re awesome like that, you know. stop letting your parents control your life. you’re a super smart person, dont let anyone EVER tell you otherwise. oh, and you can let your hair down too. im not gonna judge you, and plus, i think you look nice without your hair all tight like that. meet me at our spot. the spot that’s only ours. a place where we can just be ourselves. what? stop playing around, trying to get me to tell you again. what if someone sees this letter?! its just something between you and me, and i know i can trust you. id trust you with my life, pile three. im serious. stay the way you are. dont become a product of society. you’re absolutely perfect the way you are.

from, yours

pile four TW: Harsh truth! Please don’t read unless you’re ready and willing

things that could have significance: floating, or sinking(into a mattress, or in water), bath/bathing, milky way or space in general, being loved by a ghost, anxiety/confusion, salt or minerals. lots of comparisons here, so that could be something too. also francis forever - mitski and last words of a shooting star -mitski

this person didn’t have a letter to write to you. they were very blocky and choppy and took long pauses in between of answering. also, these are just sentences, so everytime there’s a period, its a sentence ending, and a new idea beginning

i dont need you. i have everything i need. so why are you here? what am i missing? what do i not understand? stop getting into my head. ive been thinking of you. you look nice. (dont) call me. please trust me, i can keep my promises. that, i can swear. bandaids cant heal my scars. sometimes i just want to fall asleep for a long time, and you cant stop or save me. they mean more to me than you. forever. i still care about you. they lied. im getting bored. you used to be the sun. what dont you understand? i still loved you. goodbye. (bonus message: they wont last)

#pac #intuitive messages #pick a pile #tarot #tarot messages #psychic messages #i really dont know if this will resonate #hopefully it does! #have a lovely day #or night #either way #dont lose ur light <3

[cheesybadgers]

Narcos Fic: Old Habits Die Hard (Chap. 18)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo

Words: 10,316

Summary: As Javier and Horacio make a fresh start in Madrid, they attempt to come to terms with their past, present and future with some unexpected help.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Romantic/emotional sex, edging, PTSD symptoms, grief and parental loss, brief discussions of sexuality/coming out, brief mentions of canon-typical violence, smoking, drinking, swearing.

Notes: Ok, so I know I said I wasn't going to be posting for a while, but after some lovely comments I've had on Tumblr this past week, I thought I would show my appreciation by sharing this a bit earlier than anticipated ❤️

Chapter 19 is ready to go, so hopefully I can post that soon, as it's the second half of their Madrid adventures (I had to split it because it got too big for one chapter, oops).

Thank you once again to anyone still following this fic - old or new - I can't believe it's been over two years since I first started it. Never in a million years did I expect it to become, well, this lol. But we are very nearly there now!

I’ve also added to my OHDH trivia post to cover this chapter if anyone is interested. 

Whilst obviously I do not own Narcos or its characters, please do not copy, re-post, or plagiarize this fic in any capacity on this or other platforms. If you wish to create any fan works inspired by it, please provide a credit or send me a message if in doubt.

Chapter 18: One Day at a Time

It was the stillest part of the day, the city suspended somewhere between the dying embers of night and the cusp of dawn. The streets below saw parallel worlds collide as overindulgent revellers staggered alongside coffee-carrying workers who had drawn the short straw.

Neither Javier nor Horacio was a stranger to witnessing sunrise from both sides. But there was comfort in waking up to it rather than being caught unawares when sleep never came.

A raucous catfight had woken them, although the sparring partners had since gone their separate ways and restored calm to the neighbourhood.

Javier surveyed the aftermath from the French doors of the balcony, a pair of arms smoothly securing themselves around his waist, their fingers entwining over his stomach.

“Did I miss anything?” Horacio croaked, grogginess still heavy in his throat, his bare chest radiating welcomed warmth against Javier’s chilled back.

“Just the usual suspects. I know the ginger one lives opposite, but I think the black one must be a stray.”

“The same one that was out here the other day?” Horacio nodded towards their balcony, equipped with a table, two chairs, and a few hanging baskets and potted plants.

“Looked like it.”

“Maybe we should put some food out if it stops by again.” Memories of the stray he and Alejandra played their part in looking after sprung to Horacio's mind. Strangely enough, that had been a black cat too.

“Should I tell Luna she’s been replaced already?”

“Don’t you dare.” At least the teasing took Horacio’s mind off the fact he missed all two-legged and four-legged residents of the ranch tremendously, and according to reports from Chucho, the feeling was mutual.

It had only been weeks since they left Laredo, but the days stretched out longer now. It wasn’t that time dragged, but their pace of life had slowed again. The ranch was a vacation compared to Colombia, but jobs still needed to be done. Here though, they had no commitments.

The first week involved sorting out their apartment. It came fully furnished, but they needed basics like bedding, groceries and warmer clothes. Arriving in Madrid during the winter months was a shock to the system after their balmy Texan Christmas, a fact Horacio probably should have warned Javier about before they stepped off the plane in their short-sleeved shirts.

Not that Javier minded whenever the temperature dropped in the evening, and they would huddle on the couch in front of the electric fire, limbs draped over one another. There was no scent of mesquite wood this time, but that didn’t matter when shared body heat and tactility were more than enough to satisfy as they christened the furniture in their shared home.

The décor was all neutral colours but vibrant paintings of local landmarks and rural Spain hung on the bright white walls. A long corridor stretched from the entrance, with a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and separate living area branching off it. Despite the modest square footage, the high ceilings and large windows along the external wall made the space light and airy.

The apartment was still dark enough to protect them at this time of day, and semi-closed blinds covered the balcony doors from top to bottom. They could see out the hangings, especially if they were prised apart. But Javier had ensured on the first day they arrived that there was no chance of anyone from outside nosing in. He wasn’t taking any chances, even though that threat was left back in Colombia.

Now the commotion outside had died down, they basked in the peace of their embrace.

“It was the cats that woke you, wasn’t it?” Horacio asked after a contented silence. He had to check, even though there had been a marked improvement in their sleeping patterns lately.

“Yeah, it was. I slept well last night, actually.”

“Me too. Better now I’m getting used to the traffic again.”

“The ranch really makes you forget how fucking loud the city is.” Or maybe, now Javier thought about it, it was the ranch that was so fucking quiet. “I’m still waking up through the night sometimes, cats or no cats. But I guess that might just be getting used to this place.”

“You like it here, though?”

“Yeah, I do. I can see why you wanted to come back.”

“I only wanted to come back with you.” Horacio’s fingers traced idle patterns across the soft curve of Javier’s stomach.

A light shiver ran through Javier as he lolled his head back into the pillow of Horacio’s shoulder. “So you could do this, huh?”

Horacio hummed in agreement against Javier’s neck, his mouth working methodically back and forth as a hand wandered south in search of a trail of dark hair, skirting through the wiry strands.

“Well, it wasn’t for the sangria,” he scathed, his teeth scraping over Javier as though he would rather devour the man in his arms than a glass of that stuff. Maybe it was because they hadn’t drunk much alcohol since Javier returned from Colombia, but neither had taken to it. “And you don’t seem to be complaining.”

“There are worse ways to start the day.” Javier relaxed into Horacio’s hold, allowing himself to be manhandled because there was no rush. There never was anymore.

Plenty of early mornings had begun similarly. Sometimes one man would wake up to the calid pressure of a mouth around his cock, gradually allowing the slow burn of arousal to build whilst they were half-asleep. Other times they would spoon with one held inside the other, barely moving, vaguely dreaming but always on the brink of release.

Then there were times when slow and gentle weren't enough. They had mastered the art of keeping each other quiet, for their apartment walls weren’t the thickest. Not too much, though, because the rhythmic slapping of skin-on-skin or the crisp echo of a palm across the ass was part of the appeal.

But teasing strokes and languorous rolls of the hips were in order now. One hand pumped at an unhurried pace, Javier’s length fitting in Horacio’s grip as though they were made for each other. As though Horacio had every nerve ending and sweet spot memorised as he expertly massaged Javier’s frenulum, extracting a guttural moan that reverberated through their chests in tandem.

Horacio’s free hand mapped Javier’s skin, chasing goosebumps with the calloused pads of his fingers as he found friction at the cleft of Javier’s ass. Each touch and motion a tangible reminder he wasn’t here alone this time, that the solid form in his hold and the stubbled cheek grazing against his were real. That they belonged to each other, not as possessions but as mutual choices made again and again.

Javier luxuriated in a delirious limbo, teetering on the verge but never quite there, the need for release visceral in the pit of his stomach. Yet as he trembled and writhed, alternating between pouting his bottom lip and biting it, a part of him was willing to beg to be kept hanging. Because this was what he had wanted when they were separated by oceans and a misplaced sense of duty, and now he had it, he didn’t want to let it go.

Each twitch or convulsion only made Horacio pull Javier closer, gaining extra purchase with the firm grasp at his hip bone, grinding harder but not faster, lost in dragging the head of his cock in agonising circles, from side to side, then up and down, pausing to let it throb in time with their panting. Knowing he could probe further and give them what they needed, but then it would be game over.

So, they resisted, turning shallow breaths into deeper ones, Horacio ceasing movement whenever they neared the point of no return, reeling them back in like a wound-up coil, forcing them to admire the view below as they fought against every instinct in their bodies.

Javier allowed the balcony door to bear some of their weight with one hand splayed across the clinking blinds, pushing back a fraction just to make Horacio groan in his ear and seize the cross dangling from his neck. His other hand clutched Horacio’s arm, neck, shoulder, whichever part of him he could reach, grounding and anchoring them together.

Whenever they almost succumbed, memories of their time apart would re-focus them in the present; where their legs shook, and their toes curled at every new sensation rippling through their joined form, the anticipation of relief battling with remaining in equilibrium, daring each other to prolong the exquisite agony for as long as possible.

But resistance was inevitably futile. With several final jerks of the wrist and hips, they surrendered control, painting Javier with their release from both sides as they gave themselves over to the white-hot bliss cascading through their synapses, each spasm igniting and stoking flame after flame, consuming and burning until they almost blacked out.

Neither moved as the pink haze of the skyline broached the gaps in the blinds and blushed their fevered skin; the dawn air a perfect tonic to the blazing heat between them. A greeting from the light rather than a reluctant acknowledgement after outstaying their welcome in the dark.

Strong arms encased Javier at his front while a rhythmic beat drummed against his back, catching and soothing him in surroundings that were still relatively new. Steady, grounding, home.

“Good morning, by the way,” Horacio said between tender kisses along Javier’s shoulder.

“Hmm, certainly is a good morning.” Javier shifted to face Horacio, sweeping him up with an open-mouthed kiss as addictive as the first one they ever shared, and oh, how far they had come since then. “Is it too early for breakfast?”

“Not when we’ve built up an appetite.” Horacio nibbled at Javier’s lip to emphasise his hunger. “Although, maybe a shower before I make us some coffee?”

Javier nipped back before instigating another searing kiss, barely breaking it to speak again. “Sounds good to me.”

Nothing was particularly extraordinary about the idyllic scene they had started the morning off with. And yet that in itself was extraordinary. Not so long ago, all of this felt out of reach, something to aspire to or hope for, but not something feasible. But here they were, in their shared apartment, embarking on a new chapter together, taking another leap of faith. Not running away from the past but trying to break free from its shackles, one day at a time. 

------------------------------------------------------

Once they had got their bearings in the first few weeks, they began to venture out bit by bit. First, it was walking around the city’s vast green parks, starting with the nearest and working further away from their apartment each time. Then cooking or takeaway turned into dining in a secluded bistro. And watching TV in the apartment became a leisurely stroll around a museum.

Horacio hadn’t felt much like sightseeing when he was here by himself. But things were different now. Everything was different now, even the city itself, from how the early morning light fell on the buildings to the hustle and bustle of Gran Vía. The crowds were still there in their droves. The shoppers and tourists, who would stop in the middle of the pavement with a street map sprawling across their arms, still needed to be sidestepped at the last second. But it was easier to ignore when Javier was by his side.

It was at this point that Horacio knew there was something he was going to have to do. Something he had been putting off, despite it being something he wanted to do. But that didn’t calm the nerves bubbling in his stomach as he took the familiar walk around the corner from their apartment building and down a cobbled side street. Javier had offered to come with him for moral support, but playing it safe seemed the best option, at least this time, just in case.

As he approached the glass door with its seasonal flower arrangements hanging below the red and gold calligraphic Café Romero lettering, it hit him how much his life had changed since he last visited, how much he and Javier had been through. So how reasonable was it to expect everything to be the same here? He swallowed hard as he turned the handle, the bell above the door jangling as it opened.

The interior looked the same as always. Caramel and beige walls complemented the variety of coffees on the menu and the lush green of potted plants decorating the shelves, in between photos of past and present generations of the Romero family. A large window ran along the front, providing extra lighting and an opportunity to people-watch on busier days.

Horacio could see no staff and only customers, but it was early, so the place hadn't filled up yet. In fact, his usual window seat in the corner was still free. Waves of nostalgia layered with relief rolled over him as he sat down facing the counter.

But it didn’t take long for the face he was looking for to appear from the kitchen carrying a fresh batch of napolitanas de chocolate.

A shriek of delight quickly followed once Señora Romero put down her baking tray and raised her head. She brought her hands to her face in surprise, gathering up her apron at the same time as it caught on her fingers. “Horacio?!”

The intonation of her voice suggested it was a question. But she was already crossing the floor of the café with her arms outstretched.

Horacio rose from his table, making it easier for her to scoop him into a hug reminiscent of the ones his Abuela Margarita gave him as a child.

“It’s good to see you, Señora Romero. I hope you’re well.”

She looked well, her silver hair still tied in a messy bun and her rounded figure and freshly stained apron a sign her passion for food hadn’t waned.

“All the better for seeing you.” She lightly squeezed his cheek as she took in his appearance. “Although you might have warned me, I’d have baked more of those milhojas you liked so much last time.”

“Sorry. I’ve not been back long. I’m still sorting out the apartment and trying to remember my way around.”

“Of course, of course. Rest your feet, and I’ll bring you something over. Your usual coffee?”

Horacio smiled at the fact she had remembered his order. “That’d be lovely, thank you.”

The coffee was as delicious as ever, much like the freshly made churros and accompanying hot chocolate, which Señora Romero gave him on the house despite his protests.

She updated Horacio on her family and how Luisa and her husband, Julián, had become parents since their wedding. Their new arrival, Tomás, meant Señora Romero still ran the café, with Luisa helping out occasionally until Tomás was at school.

Señora Romero rushed to grab some photos from behind the counter, showing off her latest grandson. She was in her element and every bit the doting Abuelita.

“Congratulations, I can see the family resemblance,” Horacio said, passing the photos back.

“I said the same to Luisa! He’s definitely got the Romero nose.” She gazed at the picture before shifting her attention back to Horacio. “So, what did I do to deserve the pleasure of your company?”

Horacio scoffed into his cup, creating ripples across the surface of his coffee as he took a sip. “I don’t know where to start.”

“How about from where we left off?”

Horacio hadn't been looking for sympathy, but naturally, Señora Romero supplied plenty of it, gasping, tutting, and consoling in all the appropriate places when he gave an abridged and redacted version of events since their last meeting.

He spoke more than was ideal about his injury and retirement from the CNP because, by comparison, it was safer ground than the inverted commas silently hugging every use of "friend" a mention of Javier brought.

“Oh, Horacio, my dear. You have been through the wars. How’s your shoulder doing now?”

“Okay, mostly. I still get twinges, but I know I’m lucky.”

“Lucky to have someone like Javier around as well, by the sounds of it.”

“Yeah, you could say that.” Even if he had wanted to stop it, the reflexive smile spreading across Horacio’s face was irrepressible.

Señora Romero studied his features intently, beaming in return once she had finished. “And how was life on a ranch?”

“It was…good, actually. I know it’s not the CNP, but I liked the peace and quiet. And the routine. Something always needed doing or fixing.”

“It might not be the CNP, but that sounds much safer and simpler to me.”

“It was. It was good to feel useful again. Like I was making a difference, even if it wasn’t life or death.” Especially if it wasn’t, more like.

“I know you never talked much about it, but I could see how restless you were trapped behind a desk. You’re a man of action, Horacio. I don’t see that changing no matter which path you take.”

The café was busier now, meaning Horacio was left to finish his churros whilst Señora Romero dealt with the start of the breakfast rush.

As he dipped his last churro in the remnants of hot chocolate, it occurred to him that, once upon a time, his father would have been the central focus of this conversation. And, of course, he had wondered what his Papá would have made of his son living and working on a ranch in Texas, of all places. But it was also a moot point. It was an answer he would never get, regardless of how much he wrung his hands about the hypothetical possibility of disappointing his father.

This was about what was best for him and Javier now. The ranch had been their escape from the madness that was slowly killing them. Although Horacio never knew with absolute certainty what caused his Papá’s heart to fail, it was a plausible theory he overworked himself. And that irony sat more comfortably with Horacio these days. Because as much as his Papá had been a role model since Horacio was old enough to understand the word police, he was also a cautionary tale.

When the rush died down, Horacio helped clear some tables. It was the least he could do in exchange for words of wisdom and a complimentary breakfast.

But Señora Romero didn’t stop there and scuttled off behind the counter. She filled a box with an assortment of pastries and cakes, sealed the lid and handed it to Horacio as he moved towards the door.

“Here, my dear. Some more to keep you going. Enough for two, in fact.”

Horacio fumbled for a response beyond thank you as he accepted the box, wishing he could hide inside it as he sensed her eyes still on him.

Señora Romero’s hand lingered on his for a fraction longer than was customary for a simple goodbye.

He looked up to find the same head tilt and gentle smile he was met with in the apartment upstairs almost two years ago. When he was indirectly talking about Javier.

“I meant it when I said don’t be a stranger. You and Javier will always be welcome here.”

The sincerity in her eyes grew sharper, and she gripped his hand. In sympathy? Solidarity? Horacio wasn't sure.

But it put him at ease enough to reciprocate and ask a question now lodged in his throat with no option to swallow it back down. “How did you know?”

“Because there’s a glow about you, Horacio. A glow I remember from a long, long time ago. I might’ve forgotten a lot in my old age, but never that. Not even now it’s just me rattling around upstairs. It doesn’t have to fade, you know. Not if you don’t let it.”

It was a running theme for Horacio’s elders to leave him speechless like this. And it was all he could do to bob his head in acknowledgement, hoping he might be capable of such sage insights one day.

The bell above the door chimed again, signalling the end of their reunion as Señora Romero greeted her new customers, inviting them to sit wherever they liked.

“I think that’s my cue. But thank you, Señora Romero. For everything.”

“Any time. Take care, Horacio. And remember, my door’s always open.”

------------------------------------------------------

Horacio dropped the box of delights on the kitchen counter, the fresh breeze and murmur of traffic revealing that Javier had moved from the bedroom to the balcony since he left.

Javier put the book he was reading down in favour of craning his neck over his shoulder to watch Horacio potter about the kitchen before biting the bullet. “So, how did it go?”

Horacio didn’t speak whilst he concentrated on transferring a couple of ensaimadas onto plates. He then joined Javier, sitting in the empty seat next to him as he offered a plate. “Better than I thought it would. She guessed about us. I didn’t tell her. Somehow she just…knew.”

“How did she take it?”

“I think we’ve got a free supply of these for life.”

They couldn’t help but laugh in unison, more from relief than anything else.

“See, I told you it’d be fine.”

“Yeah. It’s never gonna stop, though, is it?”

“How d’you mean?”

“Every time we meet someone.”

“I say it's nobody’s fucking business unless we decide it is.”

“I spoke to Alejandra yesterday. While you were in the shower.” Horacio paused at his announcement that might have appeared unconnected to their conversation, but Javier knew better. “I let her know I’m back here for now. I couldn’t tell her the rest, though.”

He focused on his plate, poking a fork at the crumbly layers of pastry, hoping to find his courage buried somewhere between them. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no, stop that.” Javier forfeited his plate for leaning closer to Horacio, palm caressing his thigh. “Before Laredo, you said I should only tell Pops if I’m ready. So, there’s no rush, Horacio. Take all the time you need.”

Horacio entwined their fingers on his leg because if anyone understood his apprehension, it was Javier. “I know. I just hate keeping it from her after everything we’ve been through. She would always make me soup if I was sick. And she looked out for me after Papá was gone. She taught me Mamá’s sudado de pollo recipe because it was one of Papá’s favourites. I liked to think I was the man of the house, but she loved reminding me she was my older sister.”

“I bet she did. I saw that a lot with my parents and my Tías and Tíos. Never could decide if I’d have preferred brothers and sisters after they all got together.”

“That’s siblings for you. I didn’t want to shut her – or Mamá – out. But when things got crazy back home, I had no choice.”

“Same with Pops. The worse it got, the more I shut down. But he understood. And…I know I haven’t met them.” Yet, Javier wanted to add but thought better of it. “But they might too.”

“I know.”

“We’ll be okay whatever happens, you know that, right?”

“Yeah. I do.” Horacio finally let go of Javier’s hand, knowing if he held on any longer, he’d have given their neighbours something to gossip about.

Instead, he took another bite of his pastry and a swig of the half-drunk coffee from the table where Javier’s abandoned book lay. “What are you reading, anyway?”

“Oh, just this.” Javier reached for his Mamá’s poetry book, the pages fluttering in the breeze, the superstitious remnants from his upbringing wanting to believe it was a sign of something other than the weather. “Before we left, I told Pops I wished she’d met you. I don’t know if she ever suspected anything about me, but…I guess it doesn’t matter now.”

“Maybe not. But for what it’s worth, I wish I’d met her too.”

It had always been a relief for Horacio that his father and Javier never crossed paths, but that was mostly a projection of his own fears. The truth was, he would never know if his Papá suspected anything about him, either.

Once they had finished their ensaimadas, Horacio washed up the plates and a few items waiting by the sink, a routine he performed countless times with Alejandra when they were just about tall enough to reach the taps; before any expectations of who or what he was supposed to be were placed on his shoulders. Memories flooded back of how they would squabble over who got to wash and dry. Although, of course, more often than not, his big sister would pull rank, and in hindsight, he smiled at the possibility that, all those years later, she, rather than their Papá, was what had made his job so appealing.

As he left the clean plates, cups, and cutlery to dry on the draining board, it dawned on him that Alejandra and his Mamá didn’t have to be the same story as his Papá. They didn’t need to be another unfinished, half-written story in which the ending would always elude him, haunt him, or hold him back. Not if Horacio didn’t leave it too late this time.

------------------------------------------------------

Whilst Horacio resumed his early morning runs, they were more like gentle jogs these days. It wasn’t that he had lost his stamina after being put through his paces back on the ranch, but he didn’t feel the need to charge ahead at full pelt anymore. He was more likely to go through a routine of strengthening exercises, to keep his right shoulder from seizing up, and for whenever they decided to head back to Laredo. If that was to become his full-time job, he couldn’t afford to be out of shape.

He left Javier in bed, with plans to meet him at Café Romero for breakfast. It was to be Javier’s first time meeting Señora Romero, which they were confident they had nothing to worry about, but that didn’t quell the butterflies dancing in their stomachs the night before.

It was why Horacio had gone for a run instead of lying awake restless, counting down the hours until he could get up. His muscle memory, rather than his wristwatch, estimated that by the time he jogged one of his usual routes that took him to the outskirts of Casa de Campo park and walked a few blocks to cool down, he would be ready for breakfast.

About three-quarters of the way through his run, having just exited the park, he heard the call of his name. He willed there to be another Horacio jogging passed at the same time, but when his eyes fell upon the source of the voice, he knew he was out of luck.

“Álvaro?” He didn’t know why he asked; he’d spent enough time with Álvaro Molina to recognise his voice anywhere.

Álvaro was a chief inspector in the Spanish CNP. Not a direct parallel to Horacio’s role in Colombia, but close enough. Although Álvaro was never based at the Consulate when Horacio was, they spent plenty of time in the same cross-departmental meetings.

He was a couple of inches taller than Horacio with hazel eyes and unruly dark brown curls that were more mottled with grey than their last meeting. At one time, Álvaro carried almost as much muscle as Horacio, but he had visibly lost weight, his face now gaunt and rough with days’ old stubble.

“How the hell are you?” A hand shook Horacio’s with vigour. “Better than last time, I bet, now that motherfucker’s in the ground.”

“You could say that.”

“What brings you back? They didn’t exile you again, did they?” Álvaro winked, knowing he was on friendly enough terms with Horacio to get away with it.

A scoff and roll of the eyes was Horacio’s response. “No. Actually, it was the other way round this time.”

“Oh? You are a dark horse. Always thought they’d have to force you into retirement when you’re old and grey.”

“Yeah, me too. But I guess things change.”

“Hmm, some more than others.”

“I take it there’s been no let-up in seizures after Medellín folded?”

“Not with Cali waiting in the wings, no.” There was a brittle laugh followed by a shift in Álvaro’s facial expression, the joviality from moments ago now gone and replaced with traces of sleep deprivation.

“That’s the trouble. You cut off one serpent’s head, and two more of the fuckers grow straight back.” Horacio’s words were loaded with a sting of venom at the mention of Cali, closely followed by thoughts of Los Pepes, Stechner and the CIA’s protection of Cali. How could they possibly win when the whole system was corrupt to the core?

“Tell me about it. Listen, I don’t suppose you’ve got time to grab a quick coffee? Hell knows I need one.”

Horacio calculated he had about 15 minutes maximum spare, so, it was doable if he drank fast and didn’t get too involved in shop talk that was no longer his remit.

“Okay, there’s a place just inside Casa de Campo. But you’re buying.”

“Always the cheapskate.”

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Javier glanced up from his newspaper to the clock on the wall. Horacio was technically late; by his own standards, that was. Javier wouldn’t even have noticed if it was anyone else.

He followed Horacio’s instructions on how to get here, even down to picking the window seat in the far corner of the café. It was empty when Javier arrived – five minutes early, which must be a first – so he sat and waited.

Not long after he took a seat, a lady too young to be Señora Romero came to greet him with a friendly smile, ready to take his order.

Javier went with a café solo for each of them, saving the food order for when Horacio arrived.

Even when speaking in short sentences, Javier was self-conscious of his accent here, sometimes forgetting to adjust his pronunciation or pick a different word than he was used to. Of course, it had been the same when he arrived in Colombia and Horacio in Texas. A cultural exchange that led to many late-night conversations – and the occasional argument – about dialect differences. But that was the versatility of the Spanish language.

The same waitress brought the drinks over, although an older woman had joined her who was now clearing the adjacent table. The family resemblance between the two women was undeniable, so Javier assumed this must be Señora Romero and…Luisa, did Horacio say? He kept quiet for now, just in case he was wrong. Nor did he want to steal Horacio’s thunder with introductions.

As Javier thanked Luisa and explained the second cup was for someone meeting him shortly, Señora Romero ceased wiping a cloth across the emptied table, her ears pricking up at an accent she didn’t hear too often.

Not that Javier noticed as his eyes darted to the door, up to the clock and down to the paper with a heavy sigh.

He got through one and a half news stories when Señora Romero made her move from watching Javier curiously from behind the counter to standing by his table.

“It’s not like him to be late, is it?”

Javier was startled out of his newspaper and looked up, where rich shades of chestnut and cinnamon collided for the first time. “How—?” was about all he managed to stutter out.

Señora Romero sat opposite Javier, where Horacio should have been sitting. “Ever since his first visit, he went straight for this table. It is a nice spot, though. He always read his papers and ordered a café solo every time.” She smiled affectionately at the coffee cups on the table like they were an old friend. “Plus, he told me about Laredo. So, I wasn’t expecting another Colombian accent.”

“I’m impressed. We could’ve done with more people like you in Colombia. And I was under strict instructions to pick this table. But you’re right; it’s not like him to be late.”

There was no doubt a logical explanation for Horacio’s absence. But Javier couldn’t stop his fingers from fidgeting around the handle of his cup or his knee from bouncing under the table and causing an earthquake.

“Oh, I’m sure he’s on his way, dear. Did he go for one of his pre-breakfast runs?”

There was something comforting about Señora Romero’s familiarity with Horacio’s routines, even though Javier had never met her before. It gave them a mutual talking point and a connection beyond the usual dry small talk. “Bingo.”

“Of course! He was one of my most loyal regulars. I did miss seeing him in here after he left.”

“He’s talked about you and this place a lot. So, I’d say the feeling’s mutual.”

“Bless you, my dear. I’m glad our paths crossed. But I’ve no doubt he ended up where he belonged.”

Heat bloomed in Javier’s face and chest as Señora Romero gave him a pointed look followed by a flash of a wink. And he couldn’t help but feel sheepish that he and Horacio had ever worried about her reaction in the first place.

It took his mind off things until his gaze fell back on the clock, and he saw another five minutes had passed. Where the fuck was he? No, Javier couldn’t think like that. It was stupid and unnecessary at this stage. He just needed to focus on the pleasant conversation he was having now. So, he tried again.

This time, he asked questions about Señora Romero’s family and, during a lull in the breakfast rush, was introduced to Luisa as a friend of Horacio’s. If Luisa suspected anything, she took it in the same stride as her mother.

Next came the family photos, including plenty of Tomás, naturally. An album's worth of photos was scattered across the table, allowing Señora Romero to guide Javier through each one as though she was delivering a presentation. But as someone with a large extended family, Javier didn’t mind and even interjected with anecdotes about his own relatives.

After a tilt of his head and a sip of his coffee, Javier brought the cup down to the photo-covered table with a sense of déjà vu. It took him out of the moment and forced him to close his eyes, trying to blink away his sudden change in mood. But then, a wave of cheap perfume filled his senses. And Señora Romero’s finger pointing at the pictures was younger and manicured. The photo she placed in his hand wasn’t the many generations of the Romero family posing in front of the café; it was one of the long-lens photos of Javier and Horacio.

He blinked hard enough to see spots, allowing his vision to gradually re-focus on the safety of the photo in his hand rather than the violating one burnt into his memory. He tried not to think about those images, and for the most part, he succeeded these days. But occasionally, his brain would taunt him, reminding him how paralysed he was by the possible consequences. By the fact he put Horacio in so much danger and couldn’t even tell him about it or be with him. By the fact he and Steve were glorified puppets to the likes of Stechner whilst the CIA was up to its neck in corruption.

“These, er, these are all beautiful,” he managed to get out, hoping that the last few seconds had gone unnoticed, as unlikely as that was.

“Are you sure I can’t get you anything else while you wait, dear?”

That was the next question Javier heard, but he couldn’t be sure if he had zoned out and missed a whole chunk of conversation.

"Er, no, thanks, I'm good."

Without meaning to, his eyes scanned between the clock and the door again, an irrational hope taking hold that if he stared at either long enough, he could make Horacio appear by sheer willpower alone. However, as the second hand on the clock ticked and ticked, he was back in that damn hospital bed. Waiting, waiting, waiting. That was all he could do, unable to get comfortable as each movement was a red-hot poker jabbing in his ribs. But he would take that any day over the crushing, suffocating, nauseating dread that weighed on his chest like a foreshadowing of death. Not his death, although it would have been in all but name if the pendulum of fate had swung the other way.

“Javier? Are you alright, my dear?”

Javier was back in the café, a light sheen of sweat gathering on his skin as he tried to shove whatever the fuck that was back in its box. “Er, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.”

“Why don’t I pour us some lemonade upstairs once you’ve finished your coffee? I’ll ask Luisa to send Horacio up when he gets here.”

Javier expected his instincts to push him towards the door and back to the apartment, but they didn’t. Instead, they saw the genuine concern on Señora Romero’s face and the kindness in her gesture. They saw the glimmer of faded memories of his Mamá taking care of him, knowing this wasn’t the same, but also that it didn’t need to be. And so he did the only thing he could.

“That’d be good, thanks.”

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Álvaro brought over two coffees from the kiosk by the park entrance to a nearby seating area of tables and chairs. The previous day’s rain still clung to the stainless steel furniture and explained why there weren’t as many people around them as on a scorching hot day. But that worked in their favour.

They sat opposite each other across a table suffering from a wobbly leg, Horacio in his jogging pants and a somewhat sweaty t-shirt, and Álvaro apparently in yesterday's suit, shirt and skewwhiff tie, if their crumpled appearance and less than fresh aroma were anything to go by. A far cry from the pristine CNP-issued uniforms and tailored suits picked out by Álvaro’s wife their last meeting saw them wearing.

As Horacio took a sip of coffee, he noticed Álvaro reach into the inside pocket of his jacket and pull out a hip flask.

Álvaro lifted the plastic lid from his cup, poured a generous measure from the flask and offered the same to Horacio.

Horacio raised his hand and shook his head. “Bit early for me.”

They made small talk, Horacio managing to be as vague as possible regarding his reasons for living here again. “Taking a break in a beautiful city” and “Catching up with old friends” were about the gist of it. But he wasn’t exactly forthcoming with information the first time, so his stunted replies weren’t out of character.

Álvaro was equally brief about the details of his life, which was out of character now Horacio thought about it. Álvaro used to talk about his family as much as his work. His wife was his rock, his kids were his pride and joy, and his brother was progressing at pace through the military ranks. But this time, he confirmed they were doing well and left it at that before getting down to business.

“An anonymous tip-off recently fell into the DEA’s lap. Lots of juicy details about Cali. The gringos are working their way through the intel, and it flagged up more links to our old friends in Galicia. There were sightings of Pacho Herrera up there, plus some of his associates are based in Madrid. So that’s opened a huge fucking can of worms.”

Horacio had a terrible time trying to stifle a reaction to the mention of a tip-off. There was nothing 'anonymous' about it from the DEA’s point of view, not even when it came to the intel's delivery.

The last time he was here, the Galician traffickers were working with Escobar. And whilst Horacio’s redeployment was conducted from behind a desk for the majority, his colleagues had chewed his ear off about various Colombian names that came up in reports or wiretaps. It didn’t surprise him in the slightest that the Spanish clans had moved on to Cali.

Álvaro lit a cigarette as he talked, offering up a second one from his almost-empty carton.

But Horacio declined, instead taking another sip of his drink. “Sounds promising. But Álvaro, Cali is a different beast to Medellín. They’re more discreet, professional, and they have powerful friends in high places.”

“I know. But we have to try, right? Look at Operación Nécora. Sooner or later, someone gets sloppy, drops the ball, turns on one of their own, or kills the wrong person. And then we win.”

Watching Álvaro chug back his Irish coffee in one hand with a smouldering cigarette perched in his other was like looking in a mirror to the past. And it wasn’t a pretty sight.

When Horacio was in the fray, it had been too easy to focus solely on the case in front of him, convincing himself it would all be over soon if he just shut down one more lab and seized one more kilo or wad of cash. Or tortured one more suspect. But it was never enough and never would be. He had been fighting a losing battle that had no likely ending in sight, even if the individuals and locations were a perpetual revolving door.

“I’m not sure there are winners in any of this,” he said, the resignation heavy in his tone.

“Shit, you really have changed.”

“Maybe.”

“Last time I saw you, you were raining fire and brimstone upon the narcos. What the fuck happened?”

“Do you know how many funerals I’ve been to, Álvaro? Or how many people I’ve killed? Because I don’t. I stopped counting. Then Escobar tried to have me killed – and nearly succeeded.”

“Woah, woah, what?”

“I took a bullet here,” Horacio gestured to his right shoulder, “and nearly bled out. The doctors said I was lucky I was brought in so fast.” Although Horacio knew a lot more than luck was involved.

“Shit, Horacio.”

“Yeah. So, it’s easy for you to keep fighting when you haven’t lost as many times as I have.”

“Because no one else could possibly have lost anything as well, right?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Sounded like it to me. And you’ve got no fucking idea.” Álvaro slammed his cup down on the table, the force of its impact splashing coffee droplets in all directions.

Horacio opted not to make a fuss but he could have sworn he saw the reflection of tears in Álvaro’s eyes as they focused on their drinks in silence. “Did something happen?”

“What gave it away?” Álvaro gestured towards himself, acknowledging his worse-for-wear state. He leaned his elbow on the table, head held in his hands, and ran his fingers through his hair. “There was another bombing. Last June. An army transporter was targeted by 40 kilos of explosives left in a parked car. My brother, Jaime, was...he was there…and didn’t make it.”

“Fuck, Álvaro. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Except, in a roundabout way, he did have some idea. Because back in Colombia, it was Horacio who delivered such news to countless families like the Molinas.

“No, well, you wouldn’t.” He took out the hip flask again, draining whatever was left into his coffee cup and knocking it back. “Not least of all because I lied about him earlier. Sorry about that, by the way. Still not very good at this sort of thing.”

“No, of course. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“Your dad was a cop too, right? Before he…passed away.”

“Yeah, he was.”

“I remember you telling me. It was about the only thing I got out of you, come to think of it.”

Half a rebellious smile broke through Horacio’s tightly pursed lips. “Yeah, well, I guess I wasn’t very good at this sort of thing either.”

“But you are now?”

“Better than I was. Better now I’m not trying to be him. Now I realise he was as flawed as the rest of us.”

“Yeah, trying to follow in the footsteps of a high-achiever in the family will fuck you up for life. Or so I’ve heard.”

Horacio didn’t know a lot about Jaime but was aware he was 10 years older than Álvaro. From the way Álvaro talked, it was clear how much he hero-worshipped his big brother. And if anyone knew the pitfalls of such high pedestals, it was Horacio.

“Sounds familiar. As much as I’ve always missed him, I was glad he never saw me at my worst.”

“All I wanted was for Jaime to be proud of me, and I think he was.” Álvaro’s eyes lit up, and for the first time during their conversation, the wrinkles of his smile reached them. “But I’m not sure he’d even recognise me if he saw me now.”

“The paradox of grief.”

“What?”

Another smile crept over Horacio’s face. “Just something someone once said to me. Whatever you do, it’ll never feel enough now he’s gone.”

“Never thought of it like that. But it’s not just a dead man I’m letting down. My wife tried so hard with me; she really did. But…the nightmares started. They were always about trying to save Jaime, but I couldn’t. So I drank ‘til I was comatose. Then work got crazy and things spiralled. She didn’t think it was good for me to be around the kids, and well, I can’t argue with that.”

Álvaro unloaded a jumble of words in one fell swoop, catching Horacio off guard as he tried to take it all in. But it wasn’t as though it was unfamiliar territory for him. It wasn’t as though he had no experiences of his own to share, experiences he had only ever opened up to Javier about until now.

“That was my life, for a long time, without the wife and kids, obviously. But the nightmares and the drinking got bad after I...I accidentally killed someone I was sent to rescue.”

“Shit, Horacio. You never said anything when you were – wait a minute – is that why you were here in the first place?”

“Surprisingly, no.” Horacio let out a hollow laugh at the fact the death of Diana Turbay wasn’t his superiors’ red line. “I’m sure it didn’t help my cause, but the final straw came when I led a raid on a nightclub. We took down some high-level sicarios, but a bystander got caught in the crossfire.”

“Fuck. There were so many rumours about you, no one knew what to believe. I heard you took out Escobar’s cousin, but surely they wouldn’t exile a hero.”

“I’m not a fucking hero, Álvaro.”

“Ha! So, it was true.”

Horacio said nothing, his silence giving Álvaro the answer he was looking for.

“You can’t tell me you’re sorry about that.”

“I’m not. And I don’t regret everything I did.” It was the truth. He wasn’t trying to atone for some of those fuckers getting what they deserved. They weren’t why he walked away. “But you know what they say…old sins cast long shadows. These things stay with you, whether you’re the one killing or it’s the people around you being killed.”

“So, what are you saying? That it’s too late for damaged goods like us?” There was a desperate crack in Álvaro’s voice as though he was looking to Horacio to confirm his fears and put him out of his misery once and for all.

“You probably don’t want to hear it right now, but…it doesn’t always have to be like this. It’s not easy, and it takes time, but it can get better.”

“You’re right. I didn’t want to hear that.” Álvaro kept his features neutral until he caught Horacio’s eye and they both laughed, because what else could they do?

“Neither did I, for years. Because it felt impossible. But no amount of punishing yourself will bring him back or change the past.”

“There’s quite a team set up now,” Álvaro continued after a long silence, as though he hadn’t heard a single word Horacio had said. “From your end, our end, the DEA, Interpol, the SVA. You name it, we’ve got fingers in the pie. And there’s always room for more.”

Álvaro looked at Horacio with great expectation, waiting for an answer to an unspoken question until he could wait no more. “Horacio, you know what it’s like more than most dealing with these people. And you remember how it was last time. Couldn’t so much as talk about the weather without it getting back to someone up there.”

That much was true. The situation in Galicia was eerily reminiscent of Medellín. Homegrown police taking bribes left, right and centre and passing on intel to the trafficking clans. Politicians’ and judges’ integrity in tatters because they, too, turned a blind eye. The Colombian cartels made Galicia their gateway into Europe. And their success was thanks to the layer upon layer of corruption that was allowed to exist.

“No.”

“Come on, at least think about it. There’d be none of that pen-pushing bullshit this time. You could be out in the field again, it’d be just like the old days back in—”

“Álvaro, I said no.” Horacio didn’t raise his voice. He didn’t need to with how his steely glare and steadfast jaw framed his face. “I’m done with it for good. End of story.”

Álvaro raised his arms in surrender, his second cigarette of their meeting now burning between his fingers. “Alright, alright, I get the message. Can’t blame me for asking now I know you’re back.” He raised the cigarette to his lips, regarding Horacio with increasing intrigue through the wisps of smoke hanging between them. “So, who is it, then?”

“What?”

“Whoever’s convinced you to quit and move here. Must be serious. And don’t lie because I know there’s someone.”

“Your interrogation skills need more work, Molina. And on that note, I better be going. You’re making me late for an appointment.”

“Nice deflection there, Carrillo. I’m just saying; they must be the love of your fucking life to give it all up.”

There was a scrape of metal against the floor as Horacio rose from his chair, not dignifying Álvaro’s prying with a response, even though it was the naked truth.

“Alright, fine, fine! I can take a hint. I’ll keep my mouth shut from now on.” Álvaro brought a hand to his lips, ‘zipping’ them closed with his thumb and forefinger.

Horacio sat back down with a roll of his eyes. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it. Good for you, in fact. It’s hard enough to find someone like that in the first place, but to hold onto them and make it work? Nothing short of a fucking miracle. But you know where I am if you ever change your mind.”

“Thanks, but I won’t.”

“Thought you might say that.”

“If you ever change your mind, please think about what I said. You can’t run away from this. No matter how much you bury your head in your job. It doesn’t work like that.”

“I can’t make any promises, Horacio. You know how it is.”

Of course, he knew; that was precisely why he was saying it in the first place. But he also knew there was no point pushing it any further. “It was good to see you, Álvaro. And I am sorry about Jaime.”

“Me too. And er, thanks. For listening and everything. I really appreciate it. Although, I gotta ask, when did you get so fucking wise?”

Horacio laughed, assured there was no malice in Álvaro’s teasing, and because he had apparently accomplished what he was expecting to wait years, if not decades to do. “I’m afraid I can’t take all the credit.”

“Should’ve known. Good to see you, Horacio. Don’t leave it so long next time. And I hate to say it, but retirement already suits you.”

“Thanks, I think. Take care of yourself.”

They stood up from the table, deposited their empty cups in a nearby bin and walked back to the entrance that took them onto the main road.

After shaking hands, they went their separate ways, Horacio in one direction and Álvaro in the opposite.

It wasn’t long ago that Horacio lamented turning his back on the CNP. But as he broke into a run to mitigate his uncharacteristic lateness, he caught glimpses of familiar church spires towering over every other building. They had been a comforting backdrop to his guilt and shame, and whilst he would always carry them around for certain deeds, it wasn’t a place he ever wanted to revisit. And the next time his lapel pins found themselves between his fingers, or Trujillo still called him Colonel out of habit, he would be reminded it was okay to miss something but never want it back.

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Javier sat stiffly on Señora Romero’s floral sofa, clenching and unclenching his fists to distract himself from the creeping sense of embarrassment setting in.

Señora Romero joined him in the neighbouring chair, a tray of lemonade and a selection of pastries from downstairs placed between them on the table.

“Have you eaten anything this morning, dear?”

“Not really, no.”

“Well, that won’t do. Here, take some. Don’t be shy.” She practically shoved the plate at Javier, stopping short of placing one of the pastries in his mouth.

“Thanks. And sorry, I don’t know where that came from.”

“From what Horacio told me, I’d say it’s understandable. For both of you.” Señora Romero gave the tall jug of lemonade a final stir, then poured it into two ice-filled tumblers, handing one to Javier and settling back in her chair.

Javier thanked her as he accepted a glass, wasting no time quenching his dry mouth.

“And it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Señora Romero continued. “My country went from the Civil War to Franco for over three decades. Not to mention the violence in the Basque region, and the bombings here, of course. People don’t like to talk about it much, but the scars are still as plain as day.”

Javier wasn’t exactly an expert in Spanish history, but he knew the basics. And hearing them listed together suddenly made his experiences seem tame by comparison. Not that he thought for a second that was Señora Romero’s intention, but it gave him a large dose of perspective.

“I never talked to anyone before Horacio, to be honest. Same for him with me, but it took me longer to get there.”

“My husband rarely told me what he’d seen and done in the war. He thought I wouldn’t understand, and maybe I didn’t. Maybe I couldn’t. But we survived the same storm in the end, even though we were sometimes in different boats.”

“It was a while ‘til we were in the same boat. Even now, sometimes we’re not,” Javier said as his mind drifted with a smile to their conflicting views and priorities over the years.

In theory, it shouldn’t have gone the way it did. They may have shared the same broad goal in Colombia, but they came at it from different angles. They weren’t supposed to trust and understand each other more than anyone else. They weren’t supposed to walk away from their all-consuming careers for each other, and they certainly weren’t supposed to fall in love. But life had a funny way of working out.

As for their current situation, they were dealing with things in their own way and in their own time. It was never going to be something they could coordinate. But even so, it frustrated Javier when he spiralled seemingly out of nowhere. Except, was it really out of nowhere? It was all a blur now.

“In my experience, sometimes you can’t be,” Señora Romero said. “And sometimes, you won’t want to be. Sometimes, you float alongside each other in your own boats. And sometimes, it’s good enough just to sail in the same direction at different paces.”

“He’s never late. And I guess it’s force of habit to assume the worst.” Javier wasn’t expecting to say that, but it was like someone had just removed their foot from his chest. It was an admission to himself as much as Señora Romero, confirmation that it hadn’t been out of nowhere at all.

Señora Romero merely nodded, giving Javier the space to continue if he wanted to.

“On the night of the ambush, Steve – my partner – and I weren’t supposed to be there. I’m not sure we were ever supposed to be in Colombia, to be honest.”

Javier stopped to let out a sceptical sneer as snippets of his encounters with Stechner replayed in his head. For all he knew, Stechner could have orchestrated his entire career, manoeuvring him around like a pawn on a chessboard.

“But we disobeyed orders and followed Horacio anyway. And then we, er…we heard gunfire and screaming over the radio. It was the longest car journey of my life.” He took another sip of his drink and a deep breath, determined to finish now he’d started. “It was the same at the hospital and after the bombing here. Always waiting, but never knowing where he was or if he was okay.”

“Oh, Javier, my dear, it makes complete sense you would think the worst. I would be the same in your shoes. But you have to remember, he’s a civilian now. He’s not a target anymore. The ETA bombings here have been directed at the Spanish authorities.”

Señora Romero leaned forwards until her hand met Javier’s. Shades of chestnut connected with cinnamon again as he squeezed as a gesture of thanks. Neither appeared fazed by this being their first meeting, perhaps finding it easier because they simultaneously didn’t know much about each other but enough to no longer be strangers.

“And for what it’s worth,” she continued, “regardless of the rights or wrongs of your government’s involvement in foreign affairs, it seems you were exactly where you were supposed to be that night.”

Touché. He couldn’t argue with that, the irony apparent of Steve previously framing Javier’s need to follow Horacio as a warning rather than a calling.

“I may have only just met you, Javier, but I know what you did for Horacio that night was a brave act of love. Wanting to help is an honourable trait, don’t ever forget that. But you might find you’re not worrying yourself sick so much once you’re focused on helping others again. And someone out there will always need it, wherever life takes you next.”

Javier scoffed before gulping down the rest of his lemonade. “I think that’s the problem.”

Señora Romero’s hosting instincts kicked in as she re-filled Javier’s glass.

“Thanks. Horacio got out a year before me and settled in working on my Pop’s ranch. Way more than I ever did.” Javier cringed at some of the memories of him in his pre-police days attempting various jobs that Horacio took to like a duck to water, whereas he had floundered.

“Is that what he wants to do?”

“I think so. Which is great; he’s a natural. It suits him.”

“But you don’t know what’s next for you?”

“Not a clue.” Not a fucking clue was more accurate, but he caught himself just in time.

“Do you need to have it figured out yet?”

“Well, no, not yet. We’re okay financially for now. But I know it can’t last forever.”

“There’s plenty of time between now and forever, Javier.” Señora Romero lowered her voice as though she was letting him in on a coveted secret. “At your age, anyway. Less so at mine, but I take each day as it comes.”

“What’s that like?”

“There are good days and bad days. And bad weeks, months and years, come to think of it. Days when my body doesn’t do what my mind tells it to do. Days when my mind is frail, and my heart is sore. But on other days, I’ll spend time with the family. Or my piononos will come out better than they did last time. Or I’ll make new friends in unusual circumstances.” She winked in Javier’s direction. “I think the bad days are just part of life’s rich tapestry. Especially where healing wounds are concerned.”

Occasional reminders of the past – or bad days – scattered amongst the simple pleasures sounded suspiciously like their time in Madrid so far. But maybe that was okay. Maybe, that was part of the process of moving on with their lives. Maybe, progress was supposed to be subtle and non-linear, almost imperceptible unless you knew what you were looking for.

No sooner had Javier got his head around that prospect than there was a knock at the door followed by a heartfelt apology, given and accepted with a look as much as words.

Of course, Señora Romero had been right, and there was no life-or-death emergency to attend to. But any embarrassment on Javier’s part was overridden by the relief his fears were unfounded, and he would gladly take an anxious mind rather than the alternative.

Pulses returned to baseline as the trio talked, albeit Horacio’s for a different reason than Javier's.

Whilst Madrid wasn’t Laredo, they couldn’t take acceptance for granted wherever they were. But as they returned downstairs, where Señora Romero removed the ‘Reserved’ sign from their corner table and offered them yet another breakfast on the house, a weight lifted from Horacio’s shoulders. Because the first real friend he made here had welcomed him and Javier into her home and business with open arms.

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