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#I will say one thing I noticed (since if anyone is reading this tag they are also prone to snooping :v )
celestie0 · 3 days
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childhood friends to lovers with gojo.
warnings/tags. fluff & angst, sad ending
you two were five when he kisses ur cheek on the playground underneath the slide n you both thought that counted as a first kiss. u two were attached by the hip all throughout elementary school, i mean srs, your parents would even have joint parent teacher conferences bc there was just nothing the two of you wouldn't do together.
and then middle school came around, you joined the marching band n he joined the football team. he starts acting different around you, and it hurts. bc you two were best friends. you were always supposed to be best friends. he starts hanging out w the popular kids, and you find yourself walking home alone. summer before high school, he wants to hang out again, but you tell him you deserve better than that. and you two drift apart.
it's hard starting high school without him, watching him from afar during lunch in the cafeteria. he's with his table of phonies, acting like someone he's not, and you know because you've always known him. better than anyone else. you really wanna join the cheer team, since you've done gymnastics for a long time, but you've always been too afraid to tryout for the team. this time, you do, and you get in. now all of a sudden he wants to talk to you again, now that you're popular in high school and have earned a place on the field during his games. fuck that, you say to him, you threw away what we had just because i wasn't good enough for you to have by your side. you start dating his teammate, you two are nominated for prom queen & king, and he has to watch as you kiss someone else on stage when you win. someone that should've been him. he starts dating the cheer captain, just to show it off when he comes running to her after a winning game, kissing her right in front of you but he's not looking at her, he's looking at you. to make sure you're watching. and you do the same thing to him. and the whole time you two are wondering what are we doing to one another?
summer after high school, he shows up to your doorstep one day on his skateboard. with a box full of all the letters you used to send him as a kid. you still have yours too, somewhere tucked underneath your bed. you spend the whole afternoon laughing with him as you read through them all, laying on the carpet of your living room, and you both feel like kids again. he hovers over you when he kisses you, but you're still mad at him, and to show him how mad you are, you kiss him back. it's no use, you two are going to different colleges, you'll hardly see him, but he swears he's call. he swears he'll fly to see you. he swears he'll never makes the same mistakes again, because he wants you. and only you. you kiss his cheek, and say okay.
and he does. he does everything he promises you. but the distance is too hard, and he was a little too late. you break up with him over a twenty-one character text sent while you're drunk at a house party your second semester at university, and he just doesn't understand. he'll never understand. and he never sees you again.
until you're both thirty-two, standing in line at the grocery store. he taps your shoulder, you turn around, you wonder if it's a stranger who wants a favor, and you realize he's so much more than that. he's the little boy that kissed your cheek underneath the slide when you were five. your first kiss. except it wasn't, was it? his face is long, and his cheeks have lost plush, but he looks so handsome it makes your heart skip a beat. you two are pleasant, exchanging it's been so long! and you look great! but when his eyes catch the twinkle of the wedding ring on your finger, his smile drops ever so slightly, and when he scratches his cheek to hide the sadness, you notice a band on his finger too. and he pays for your groceries, just to be kind. and you thank him for it, just to be kind. and you go your separate ways, never to speak again. but there's a box that still sits somewhere in your closet. and a similar one still sits in his too.
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twpsyn-who · 29 days
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Today on "Another JeanMarco Soulmate AU absolutely no one asked for" I present to you -
Soulmate AU in which you stop seeing colors when your soulmate dies, the only exception being your soulmate. Now cue to Jean who just found Marco's, his best friend's, body. And you know, there's the shock of finding out Marco's dead. The pain and confusion and guilt. But there's also the revelation, because despite everything he can still see Marco like nothing took place at all- yes, half of his face is missing and his body is straight up lifeless, but Jean can still make out the color of his eye ; see that light shade of brown perfectly, remember all the times he has found himself looking at them while listening to Marco talk. He can still make out the colors of his uniform, see the same shade of black his hair has always had, practically see. Despite being dead, Marco was the only piece of color left in his life.
And there's denial for a moment because there's no way Marco was his soulmate. But that goes away fast, getting replaced by guilt. By the fact that he hasn't been there to save him, that Marco has to die all alone without anyone being there for him.
And that was worse than the simple fact that he could no longer see colors ; because Marco was there when Jean needed him, but he failed to do the same. And not only he lost his best friend that day, but his other half too.
#Anyway this fucker doesn't tell anyone about the whole soulmate thing. Not of shame of anything but because he's mourning man and also is no#One's business. Anyway the first one to find out is Armin because he notices and ever since he makes sure to mention colors as often as he#can. Like 'These flowers are a nice shade of red' or 'Green suits you well Jean! You should wear this shirt' stuff like that#Jean does appreciates it once he gets over his ego and pain and lets other people get closer to him#Funny enough Jean is the only one in that situation loool. Well I don't know about Reiner and Historia is getting there soon enough but#everyone else??? Colors everywhere man#Is both funny and sad#'Since when..?' Jean expected that question yet he wasn't truly ready to answer it. Deep down he knew he was never going to be ready for it#'Trost' his voice stains sightly while naming the city. His own city. The place he grew up in all his life. The others say nothing else#after that confession. They were all aware many has died during Trost. It wasn't that far fetched for Jean's soulmate to be some civilian#lost during the evacuations or something. But then Connie's eyes widen ever so sightly the realization sitting in. He doesn't even register#when he says 'It was Marco right?' and regrets it immediately. Jean's painful face is all the answer they needed#Also Historia ready the letter and the world losing colors while she's doing that??? Her tearing up a little but not letting herself cry#until she gets alone???? Her going to Jean once that happens and them comforting each other?????#They starts seeing colors again once Eren dies. Poor Jean is trying his best to not have a breakdown because Connie needed him more in that#moment#Reading* wtf my tags make no sens sorry guys I'm lowkey tired#aot#jean kirstein#jeanmarco#aot jean#marco bodt#marco bott#aot marco#jean kirschstein#snk#JeanMarco Soulmate AU#soulmates au#I'm not sad you are
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sttoru · 5 months
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‘no matter how much time the king of curses spends with you, he doesn’t think he will ever understand you or your affectionate behaviour towards him.’
☀︎|tags. true form sukuna x female reader. heian era sukuna. fluff. bits of mentions of blood & murder. big size difference. cold-big-monster-having-a-small-soft-spot-for-a-single-human trope. reader gets called ‘little one, brat’. not proof read! let me know if you like my characterisation or not; it’s my first sukuna fic.
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a kiss on the cheek is one of the most innocent - yet apparently also the most difficult - things to do. it’s a small form of intimacy; not that hard to do. it’s really as simple as planting your lips on your beloved’s cheek. then all you do is retreat — maybe get a kiss on the cheek back from him. or on the lips.
“get moving. i’m not waiting all day for you.” sukuna grumbles. you had suddenly stopped in your tracks and the king of curses was confused as to what the reason might have been. the two of you had been walking through the courtyard for a few minutes now — well, you basically had to drag him out to take a little stroll together.
and now the same you was quiet. it bothered sukuna; you were always so chatty around him when it was just the two of you. he might have called you an ‘annoying brat’ for it, but he secretly enjoyed your company and voice.
“c-coming.” you reply in a quiet mumble, eyes glancing over at the monstrous frame that stood a few steps away. his dull yet sharp gaze was focused on you — like he was sizing you up. or rather: trying to figure out what’s wrong with the change in behaviour you showed.
sukuna watches you as you hurry over to his side again. he resumes walking, hands folded over each other under the material of his kimono.
though, he couldn’t yet let go of the fact that you were acting different around him. the king of curses’ suspicion only grew once he noticed how your fingers fiddled with your obi. you were anxious about something.
sukuna shakes his head slightly. some humans sure are difficult to understand, he thinks to himself. your happy yet reserved personality when you usually interacted with him had disappeared and made place for a nervous wreck. trying to figure out why made sukuna’s head hurt.
were you finally scared of him? like all other humans and curses were?
he doesn’t know why, but it felt like he would hate for such thing to happen. sukuna usually wouldn’t care if someone resents, fears or somehow even admires him. only you could make him think and care about such difficult and maybe even trivial things.
“uhm,” you break off his train of thoughts and his eyes are instantly on yours again, “may i do something really quickly?”
sukuna’s face doesn’t show any change in expression, but a small nod tells you everything you need to know. you clear your throat, “can you please lower your head towards me?”
lowering his head? oh, you got some guts. if anyone else had said that to him, sukuna would have obliterated them; there wouldn’t have been anything but red bloody dust left of their body.
but then again: it’s you. all exceptions the king of curses makes are for you.
sukuna slightly lowers his head to your level so you could do whatever you needed to. he’d be lying if he said that his curiosity wasn’t piqued. it always was when he was around you.
you gulp. it was time to do what you’ve longed to do ever since the beginning of your stroll: give the ryomen sukuna a kiss on the cheek. you don’t think he’d be mad—at least he never seriously gets mad at you. only to get a reaction out of you since your responses are always ‘intensely amusing’—as he says.
“go on.” sukuna’s breath hits your cheeks. he was so close—too close that it made you even more nervous in a way. as if you hadn’t even had your first kiss yet.
you swallow your fears and just go for it. your lips attach to his cheek in the fraction of a second—the speed of light—before they leave. it was right under his right set of eyes.
you take a step back and clear your throat. you try to escape the embarrassment of sukuna’s possible reaction by continuing your stroll, though were stopped by a strong hand firmly grabbing your forearm.
“where’d you think you’re going?”
sukuna’s deep voice echoes through your ears. you were surprised to hear the tone of it; almost soft. a tone sukuna uses on rare occasions: in your presence.
you turn your head around and smile sheepishly at the king of curses before you. he doesn’t return the same (not that you expected him to), however he does unexpectedly ruffle your hair for a split second. or at least he attempts to.
his large and warm palm lands on top of your head and he gives it a little and subtle shake. sukuna had seen you do a similar action to someone else before, thus he concluded that he could do it to you. maybe as a form of endearment or. . whatever you used it as.
he did find the way you tried to scurry away after giving him a kiss very adorable. even if he wouldn’t say so out loud.
“now, come along. we don’t have all day.” sukuna nonchalantly mutters after retracting his hand. it left as fast as it came, though you were still stunned at the slight show of affection the king of curses returned.
you instantly catch up to sukuna again—walking next to him as fast as your legs could take you. you were a bit more at ease after you got a positive reaction to your little kiss. it was a pity that he didn’t smirk or laugh at you—maybe mocked you like he usually would. but that head pat made up for it.
even if it did leave your hair a little disheveled.
you couldn’t properly see sukuna’s face, but the faint smirk tugging at his lips was undeniably there. even if it was for just a split second.
“how very interesting.” sukuna mutters under his breath so you wouldn’t catch on. he sighs and shakes his head, unable to keep out that memory of you looking so cute—standing on the tip of your toes to plant a kiss on his cheek with your comically small hand on his jaw line. he doesn’t know why he found that to be so thrilling.
you flutter your eyelashes. you were curious about what he might have commented on, “may i ask what you had just said? i didn’t quite hear it.”
a short second of silence hangs before sukuna tilts his head to the right to look down at you again; his face expressionless, but still having a hint of a grin on his lips.
“i said you better hurry before i gobble you up right this instant.” he replies, (playfully) intimidating you with his sharp red eyes that glinted with a form of danger.
you shiver (though knew the threat was an empty one) and instantly pick up your pace. you even get ahead of him, walking as fast as your legs could. you answer with a curt ‘my apologies’ and walk like you actually have somewhere to be.
sukuna’s grin only grows as he sees you get ahead of him. if you had turned around, maybe you could have caught onto that light flicker of affection in his expression.
“i’m coming for you, little one.” sukuna adds just to ignite some more fear into you and you react as expected, “you’re not escaping me today.”
it was a funny sight; your reactions always make him enjoy his time with you even more than he already (secretly) was.
the way his body reacts in mysterious ways when you’re around, is still very much an unsolved riddle to the king of curses. and the reasons as to why you aren’t scared of him and can easily give him all your ‘love’ are also still yet to be discovered.
until then, sukuna will continue to enjoy teasing you.
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Coraline
Synopsis: Y/n’s childhood and history with her parents has always stayed a secret, and she likes it that way. Until a journalist reveals the truth, and everything seems to come crashing down at once.
young female driver reader x 2023 F1 grid
A/N: a few things for this fic: reader will be 20 years old, had driven for alpha tauri since the beginning of 2022, the 2022 is the same as the 2023 grid, and please look at the trigger warning below.
Trigger Warning: This fic contains abusive parents, talks of eating disorders, neglecting a kid, verbally abusing a kid, signs of depression, and a lot of hurtful comments in general. This fic is not meant to idolize or romanticize having abusive parents or depression. If anyone finds anything particularly disturbing with this fic, do not hesitate to let me know and I will fix it.
tagged: @treehouse-mouse
2023 was supposed to be a good season for Alpha Tauri. The cars looked good, your driver pairing was solid, and the hopes were high for your junior Red Bull team. You could only laugh at the naivety of it now.
Most of the season was exceptional; you and Yuki Tsunoda brought in points almost every weekend, your team was seventh in the constructors championship, and overall, you were having a great time traveling around the world.
This was your second year in Formula 1, and now that you weren’t a rookie anymore, you could have more fun now that you knew what you were doing.
Some people just don’t like others being happy, though.
With less than 10 races left, you walked into the paddock for the Monza Grand Prix Thursday afternoon feeling optimistic. This was the second race after the summer break, and Alpha Tauri was expected to do well in Italy.
Your press officer, Ally, greeted you in your garage, and after saying hello to Yuki, you followed her out of the garage and into the media pen for a press conference.
You walk in to see Lewis, Carlos, Lando, and Fernando and talked quietly with them as the press in front of you get settled. “Everybody ready? All right, first question please” One of the directors asks, as a journalists speaks up.
“Lewis, you’ve witnessed the infamous ‘Monza Curse’ multiple times in your career, do you think the theory is true and will it strike again this year?”
“Um, no” Lewis chuckles. “I don’t believe in the curse, but it would be nice to see someone new finish first today, and if a curse is what it’s going to take, then yeah, why not”
The five of you laugh, not noticing the second journalist beginning to speak. “Y/n, what do you have to say about the recent article published regarding your past with your family?”
You instantly stop laughing, hoping you misheard the man.
“Sorry?”
There’s no way
“The article? That was recently published concerning your past with your parents, what do you have to say about it?” The journalist stared at you curiously while your mind blanked for an answer.
You had no idea what article he was talking about, but if it concerned your past with your ‘family’, you knew it wasn’t anything that should be published.
Suddenly there’s movement in the midst of the media pen, and your press officer emerges from the crowd. “Y/n, come with me” She pauses, seeing one of the directors nearing out of the corner of her eye.
“It’s urgent, I need her” You’d take any excuse to get away from the current situation, so after exchanging a look with Lewis, you follow the woman into the paddock towards your garage.
Once you were both in the safety of your drivers room, you turned on her. “What article is he talking about? What’s going on?” You said, voice heavy with concern.
Ally hesitated, looking uncomfortable, before answering. “This morning, an article published a story talking about you and your parents, and the-um, harsh history you have with them” She hands you her phone, said article already open.
“I think it’s better if you read it yourself” The bold letters blink up at you, clear and sullen.
“F1 DRIVERS UNCOVERED: THE REAL REASON WE DON’T SEE Y/N L/N’S PARENTS”
Your heart falls to your stomach and your hands start to shake as your eyes skim over the words of the most invading and overwhelming article you’ve ever read in your life. Whoever wrote this, wrote it in hopes of exposing every secret of your past, and further tangles the truth of an already over-complicated background.
The real reason your parents are never around you is a reason you hate talking about.
You first realized it when you were around ten years old, the way your parents never looked happy around each other, and always tense around other parents. The way they never said ‘I love you’ or kissed each other goodbye. It confused you, as these were the things you always saw your friend’s parents do, but you were too young to understand at the time, so you mainly ignored it.
It wasn’t until one night when you were eleven that you heard an argument erupting from your kitchen, one about money and divorces and you. The shouting continued for ages, until you heard one statement, loud and clear.
“Think about this, she’s getting good in those karting competitions of hers, and according to other parents she could go really far in this thing and get money from sponsorships and mentors. So let’s just give it a little time, make sure she gets better and gets paid, and the money will go to us and eventually she’ll leave to Formula- whatever and we won’t have to worry about her”
You put your pillow over your head, turned around, and went to sleep sobbing that night.
From then on, there was no ‘I love you’s’ or kisses goodbye even to you, and eventually, no happiness in your house. The ‘other parents’ were right, the older you got, the farther you looked to go in racing. Just before you turned 13, the three of you moved to a city in England so you could pursue karting further, and that’s when it all got worse.
You competed in countless competitions, and every race you won, the more criticism you got from your mom and dad. The second you stepped off the 1st place podium, your parents were waiting to comment on your driving and the techniques you should’ve used to win.
They never let you focus on anything but karting, letting you go nowhere but the track and to school, and made sure you were always looking for ways to get better. They ruthlessly compared you to kids in other series that were performing better than you, and countered every compliment someone gave you with a complaint.
All of this seemed like a dream compared to the treatment you got when you lost. Whether it be second, or tenth, every race you didn’t come first in was a loss, and your parents simply didn’t accept this.
When you lost, they’d make you practice on track for twice as long, no matter the weather, and berated you the second you started to complain. They limited your diet after your losses, claiming you needed to be lighter if you wanted the kart to go faster.
Your mother and father gave you this relentless attention with anything regarding racing, but the moment the topic drifted, you were neglected. There were no family dinners or movie nights, if you wanted something, you were going to have to buy it with your own money, and if you wanted to go somewhere, you needed to walk or find a ride because they refused to drive you anywhere if it wasn’t for a race.
There was no other family to go to even when things go impossibly rougher; you had no other relatives in the UK, and you couldn’t exactly ask your friends if you could live with them.
So you endured these conditions, all the way through the F4 British Championship, F3 and F2. You turned 18 while you were in Formula 2, and the second you did, you took the little money you had, and rented an apartment in South England, where you’ve been living ever since.
Your parents constantly contacted you in whatever ways they could, but you very quickly made sure they didn’t know where you lived and were never given paddock passes again. No one knows any of this anyway; when people ask where your parents are or when they’d get to meet them, you just shrug and say, “they couldn’t make it”
You haven’t seen your parents in person since you were 17, and you’ve done everything in your power to keep it like that.
Though with a few thousand words and 4 hours, one nosy journalist has managed to unravel all your work and growth and release it into the world.
You’re broken out of your stunned silence when Ally puts a hand on your shoulder. “I’ve set up a meeting with Alpha Tauri and Red Bull’s PR managers so we could figure out what we should do next to keep the press off your back, okay? The meeting’s in fifteen meetings, so I’ll leave you for a while”
Ally takes her phone back and exits the room to leave you standing still in the middle of it, astonished and speechless.
The meeting goes as well as you expected it to go. You shared as much as the truth as you saw fit, and came up with a statement to post with the rest of the PR managers. You were confirmed to go back to the media pen to finish interviews an hour later, and while no one asked you about the article, you could tell it was the unanswered question they all wanted to raise.
You are able to avoid most of the press of the remaining of the Italian weekend, and stuck to answering race-related questions only, your safest and only option, Ally told you later. You finished the Grand Prix P10, and flew home still sullen.
You spent the two weeks in between Monza and Japan in your apartment, regretfully thinking about all those years you had to spend under your parent’s treatment, and trying to forget them with simulator work.
You arrive in Suzuka, quiet and unsmiling, and try to ignore the shouting of the press that greets you on your way into the paddock. Ally guides you away as two new voices greet you.
“Hey Y/n, how are you?” Lewis asks, pulling you into a side hug and stepping into place beside you.
“Are you okay? You seem off” Charles says concerned, meeting you in a handshake.
“I’m fine, my flight just got in late last night so I’m tired, that’s all” You half smiled in response, hoping it was believable enough.
“Sure?” Lewis presses father. “Yeah, I’m okay” You nod.
“Okay, well, we’re still going into the city after media today?” Lewis asks. “Of course, I’ll meet you guys at my hotel after” You assure as you near the Alpha Tauri garage.
“See you then, and try to sleep a bit, yes?” Charles says before the two men walk off together.
Your friendship with the two drivers started because of the Spanish and British Grand Prix’s, the two races that gave you your two highest race finishes, and ended with two of your closest friends. Spain was a great race for both you and Lewis, yourself in P4, him in P2, and after non-stop talking in the paddock, you flew back to the UK together, effectively starting the friendship existing today.
You’d been friendly with Charles previously, but after his P9 finish in Silverstone and your P5 finish, he realized in a conversation before an interview that you were undeniably good at cheering people up, and you guys have been close since.
You’ve talked with them since Monza, of course, but not about the article. They want to talk to you about it, you can tell, but Charles and Lewis aren’t the type of people to just come right out and ask if you’re feeling okay about your history with your abusive parents being exposed to the world.
They also don’t want to pressure you into talking about something you clearly don’t want to talk about, so if all they can do is help distract you from the media, they’re going to.
Your night out with the Mercedes and Ferrari drivers does distract you; Lewis leads you and Charles to different shops and restaurants all over Suzuka, talking and laughing the entire time. You take a few photos along the way, and you go back to your hotel still smiling.
You kept your good mood until qualifying on Saturday, and are brought back into the reality of racing when you only manage P11. It’s technically not bad of a result for your car, but P9 or P8 would’ve been better right now, because all you can think about is what your parents would’ve said if you finished P11.
They’re paying you millions of dollars to race for them and the best you can do is eleventh?
You think you deserve to be here?
They are hundreds of other drivers that would do so much better than you
You are nothing compared to the other drivers
You’re lucky if you keep you seat next season, I know I wouldn’t let a P11 driver on my team
You go quiet at the thought, and get through post-race media stoic. You leave with your trainer as soon as you can, avoiding Lewis and Charles’s eyes on your way out. You have a week before you have to leave for Qatar, and spend a countless amount of hours on your simulator, hoping this time it’ll make a difference.
You flew into Lusail not knowing what to expect other than hot weather, and unfortunately you were right. You felt the heat as soon as you got in your car for FP1 on Friday and was already dreading the rest of the weekend.
You qualify P11 for both the race and the sprint, and end up in P12 for the two. You felt terrible after Sunday’s race, both physically and mentally, and you’re already berating yourself for your performance by the time you get weighed.
Charles and Lewis are in your post-race press conference group, and you can see them exchange a look after every cold and detached answer you give. You only stop to talk to your friends for a few minutes afterwards before you excuse yourself to go cool down, and leave minutes later with the defense of needing rest.
You fly back to the UK with Lewis, and you’re glad the two of you are asleep for most of the trip so Lewis won’t ask you to talk about why you’ve been so quiet.
The 10 days you have until you fly out to Austin are spent mostly on your phone, looking at all the comments people have been making about you since the article came out, saying how you probably deserved the treatment that you got, and how Alpha Tauri needs a more “stable” driver if they want to advance in the championship.
You don’t do much except exercise and train on the sim in those days, finding neither the desire or energy to do anything else.
Even though everyone is happy to be in Texas that week, you can’t find the energy to truly smile once that weekend. Charles and Lewis are practically stuck to your side, and even though you can tell they’re dying to ask you to talk about it, they only ask a few times if you wanted to tell them something, and when you denied, and simply offered companionship through silence.
It’s another sprint race, and you only pull off P12 and 13 for qualifying and the shootout, and drop a place by the end of both races.
You feel more frustrated with yourself than ever; you don’t understand why you can’t work with the car like you once used to, and you can’t even figure out how to again. You were doing so well until that fucking article came out, and all the sudden you don’t know how to drive.
The worst part about it is that every race, more and more people are realizing how you’ve been under-performing, and how people are starting to question your ability to drive for the junior Red Bull team.
You aren’t stupid, you know how things work at Red Bull, so you know that if you don’t pick your pace up soon, you could end up without a seat for the 2024 season.
This thought alone starts to destroy you, and soon you can’t even deny how burnt out you are. You pick up on the forced habit of not eating much, and making yourself to do nothing but train and look for ways to be better.
You spend the days before Mexico with data analysts and strategists, looking for any and every way to go faster. You dedicate too much time looking at successful F2 drivers, hearing Liam Lawson’s name come up too much for comfort, thinking about how Dennis Hauger had been looking fast in F2.
It’s a terribly unhealthy time killer, one that makes you look sick and go quiet. Charles and Lewis aren’t the only ones exchanging concerned looks now; multiple other drivers on the grid, friends with you or not, notice the change in your behavior and quickly grow worried when they hear Yuki’s description of you.
The drivers aren’t stupid either, they all know about the article that was published in September, and most of them would be lying if they said they hadn’t looked at it in curiosity. They’d also be lying if they saw their eyes didn’t widen in concern or eyebrows didn’t furrow with worry when they read how terrible your parents treated you.
The grid saw how the comments got nastier and nastier under your lessening social media posts every day, and even asked your PR officer multiple times to make sure she was managing your accounts and making sure you didn’t see what people had to say about your background or yourself.
They saw how you got quieter every race, how you stopped hanging out with Yuki and Charles and Lewis, no matter how many times they offered. They saw the rumors of you and your 2024 seat, how apparently Helmut Marko was paying close attention to you and the clauses in your contract.
They asked a lot, if you wanted to talk or if they could help in any way. It was always the same response; a weary smile, a small shake of the head, the words,“No, I’m fine, just tired” and an excuse that you were needed in your garage or media pen.
So they try to help in more discreet ways; when Yuki is asked about your position on Alpha Tauri or your future with Red Bull, he calmly assures that you are working hard with the team, and is doing everything possible to understand the car.
Charles, Lewis, and a few other drivers make a routine of coming to your driver’s room, most of the time just to sit with you as you look at data, or talk with you when you’re feeling up to it.
Mexico goes somehow worse than Texas, and you finish with your lowest result in F1 yet, P15. You try to be as approachable as possible in post-race media, but your sullen face gives you away.
You leave with Ally and your trainer to catch your flight to Brazil mere hours after you passed the checkered flag, and spend most of your time in Sau Paulo alone in your hotel room, replaying every hurtful comment either your mother and father or fans have said about you, and debating whether or not it was true.
You walk into the Brazilian paddock Thursday morning more grateful than you thought possible that this was the third-to-last race of your season.
And according to over twenty media sources, your third-to last race of F1.
After a public statement made by Marko talking about how Red Bull was “considering your future with their junior team” every journalist in the F1 community has decided that it means this was your last season in F1.
And honestly, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Whether you raced in 2024 or not, you just wanted to go home and avoid the press for three months.
It was another sprint weekend, and another terrible qualifying and shootout. You placed 15th in both sessions and kept your place in the sprint, and spent a quiet Saturday evening in your hotel.
You could feel almost every journalists eye’s turn to you as soon as you walked into the paddock on Sunday. You arrived early that afternoon to get some extra data-stuff done, only now realizing that it gave the growing group of reporters behind you more time to ask you questions.
“Y/n! Can you tell us about your future in F1?”
“Will you have a seat next year?
“Y/n, what does Helmut Marko think about your decrease in performance?”
“Does your past with your parents have anything to do with your recent race results?”
You try to keep your face emotionless as you make your way into the Alpha Tauri garage and to your drivers room. You prepare for the race with your personal trainer and look over the arranged strategies for Sau Paulo while you wait for the go-ahead to get in your car.
Due to all the crashed-out cars, you ended the race in P12 in front of Oscar Piastri and Daniel Ricciardo. Statistically speaking, it was one of your better 2023 races, but everyone knows if it wasn’t for all the DNF’s, you’d finish in the bottom five.
You know that everyone knows this because just before you walked into the media pen after your race debrief, you saw Christian Horner and Marko speaking to your team principle, and after Yuki’s P9 finish today, it didn’t take you even a second to understand who they were talking about with disappointed faces and multiple shakes of the head.
Sure, this could mean nothing. This could just be a conversation between the three people that control the top team and it’s junior team. But you also like to think you’re a bit smarter than that.
You walked deeper into the crowded area before the three could see you, and walked to the first open journalist you saw, in hopes of leaving early.
“Y/n, hi! Not too bad of a race for you today, I guess?” The man asked, pointing his microphone towards you
“Yeah, not too bad. The car felt pretty okay and there was a bit of pace, but not enough to overtake or anything, clearly” You reply.
“Can we expect more race pace from you in Las and Vegas and Abu Dhabi?”
“I mean, it’s a bit too early to tell, but we’ll hope and see what comes out out of the practices” The man nods before looking down at his notebook.
“And your seat for Alpha Tauri next year, we know you’re apart of the confirmed driver lineup for 2024 but Helmut Marko states that there are attainable clauses in your contract, what do you think about that?”
You’re caught off guard by the question, but right when you’re about to respond, the man continues.
“Surely, Alpha Tauri isn’t really considering keeping you for next season, are they?”
You’re standing in front of the man speechless now, your brain barely comprehending what’s being spoken.
“Because I know the last thing a team wants is an incapable driver that is too emotionally effected by her “traumatic” childhood to race,” the volume of his voice starts to increase, and other drivers are starting to focus on your one-sided conversation.
“I mean, c’mon, no one even believes that even happened to you, and if it did, your parents were probably right for doing it-”
Your hands are shaking, eyes are wide with shock, body suddenly freezing, and you don’t even think you’re breathing. All you can do is listen as this man goes on and on about how you’re a shitty driver and deserved how your parents treated you.
You’re only broken out of your trance when an arm clad in red wraps around your shoulders and pulls you through the paddock. You’re not even aware of the yelling from a certain Mercedes drivers gets quieter and quieter as you’re brought into your driver’s room.
You’re being sat on a couch, and suddenly Charles Leclerc’s face is right in front of you, hands on your shoulders and eyes filled with concerned. “Y/n? Y/n, look at me, please, Y/n-” Your eyes dart to him and in an instant, everything from the past five minutes comes rushing through your head, and you can’t stop the tears that start to fall down your face.
“Oh, Y/n” The Ferrari driver moves to comfort you, but stops as you begin to cover your face and move away.
“No, Y/n, it’s okay, please, let me help you, Y/n” Charles wraps his arms around you in a hug as your body begins to shake with uncontrollable sobs.
“I can’t- I can’t do this anymore, Charles” You say in between breaths.
“I have to quit or something, I can’t keep doing this Charles, I can’t” You let your head fall on his shoulder, as the man tries to calm you down.
Charles’ heart is breaking as he comforts his friend; he remembers loving his first few years in Formula 1, how everything was so new and exciting to him, he could never not want to race, not then and not now. But to hear one of his closest friends breakdown because of how much she hates being there, makes the man’s heart shatter.
The door abruptly opens, and for a moment, all you can hear is the low angry cursing of Lewis Hamilton, until he sees you and Charles, and his face immediately softens.
“Love, I’m so sorry. That guy is a complete arsehole, don’t listen to him” The British man says as he takes a seat beside you and wraps an arm around your shoulders.
“I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so stuck in this place where everyone is always talking about what happened and I don’t know how much longer I can go through it” You say, your voice breaking off with another sob.
Charles hushes you once more, exchanging a worried look with Lewis as you pull away from him again. “I’m sorry, I know I should be doing better and everything but I just can’t-” You say, voice shaky through the tears.
“Don’t for one second be sorry that you’re not competitive right now. Y/n, thousands of people are talking about the one thing that hurt you the most, and I understand why you feel this way, just please, love, for your own good, let us help you. I promise it will make you feel better” Lewis assures, grabbing your hand.
So for the first time, you do. For over an hour, you tell Charles and Lewis everything that happened when you were younger, and how the article has made you feel since then. They listen quietly, nodding once in a while to let you know they understand, and gave you a hug when you stopped talking.
“Do you feel better now?” Lewis asks.
“Yeah, not entirely, but better”
“Good, that’s all I wanted to hear,”
“Are you ready to go home now? There’s a plane waiting for us, if you want”
“Definitely. I need to go home” You say as Charles helps pack up all your things and Lewis makes sure there’s a car waiting for you two outside. As you’re all walking through the nearly-empty paddock, Charles turns to you.
“I have to go back to my garage, but please Y/n, if you ever need to talk, call me? I want to help you, I don’t want to see you like this again” The Monegasque brings you into a hug.
“I know, Charles, I will” You promise.
“Okay, I’ll see you before Vegas, yes? Feel better!” He calls as he moves backwards and further into the paddock.
“You promise?”
Lewis asks you hours later in the front of the airport in England, just about to get into separate cars.
“Yes, Lewis, I’ll call when I need” You say to the older man in a hug.
“Alright, text me when you’ve made it home and make sure you get some rest. Don’t be too hard on yourself either, you don’t give yourself enough credit for everything you do” You smile at him.
“Okay, I’ll see you before Vegas?”
“See you before Vegas!” He shouts from his already-closed car door.
When you do see the two next, they make sure you’ve made an appointment with a therapist and are setting up a meeting with your PR manager to put together a statement in regards to your well-being the past two months.
Charles and Lewis make sure the media inside the paddock is severely monitored and checked before being allowed near the drivers, and help you fall back into healthier habits.
These changes don’t happen overnight, and they don’t take affect overnight, but you do use the winter off season to make sure these changes are helpful and working.
The three month break is utilized to mentally and physically prepare yorself in time for your 2024 seat at Alpha Tauri that was re-confirmed after your P8 finishes in Las Vegas and Abu Dhabi.
The media still knows everything, and you haven’t completely forgotten your childhood, you never will, but dealing with it still gets easier.
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ratskinsuit · 2 months
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Can you make a dom reader with Valentino or Lucifer? Here's some ideas if you'd like Valentino: Something about rubbing and massaging his fur Lucifer: Something about being stressed about work and just wanting to be fucked until he can't think anymore. Thank you if you choose to do this :D (Sorry if it came off as rude, this is my first request with anyone)
Till I Feel Better
Lucifer x Gn!reader
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“Poor Lucifer has been so stressed and pent up recently, so he does the best thing he can think of, and comes to you to help him relax.”
Tags: Sub!Lucifer, Dom!Reader, Whimpering and moaning, Praise, Lucifer getting his brains fucked out of him, blow jobs/oral sex, slight dry humping
A/N: Since no gender was specified I went with gn. I tried to just do you riding him because it’s possible for any gender, I’m very sorry if it’s not what was asked. This is literally just him getting fucked. Very little plot.
MDNI
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You were in the library, reading a book. You sat at your normal spot on a couch. humming softly with your legs kicked up on one of the cushions. You turn the page and hear footsteps coming from the entrance.
You look up to see Lucifer looking around for something, and his eyes land on you and he smiles.
You give him a smile back and bookmark the page you were on and set the book on the side table next to you. He walks over with a smile still on his face.
You sit up and greet him. “Hey Luci, how was your day honey?” You ask as he comes closer, once he’s close enough giving him a quick cheek kiss.
He blushes at the kiss like it’s his first, even though you two have been together for years, yet you don’t mind it, finding it quite cute.
“Ah, stressful, but I’m very glad to see you.” He says, you move your feet from the other side of the couch so he can sit there, he hums in delight, taking a seat next to you.
“Oh yeah?” You ask, leaning to him, running a hand through his hair.
He sighs and leans into it your touch. “J’st a lot of paperwork.” He says, smiling softly at you, instant hidden in his eyes, yet the motive not yet clear.
You lean over to him and give him a kiss, and he kisses back almost instantly.
You two stay there for a couple moments, before you try to lean away slightly, but he leans forward, stopping you from breaking the kiss.
You go along with it for a minute, after a couple moments you find yourself laying down with him straddling you. The kisses becoming more heated.
Drool slowly starts dripping down from his lips, you notice him panting and whimpering in between kisses.
You feel his hips twitch a bit, still clothed, he begins to rut against you, as his whimpers begin to turn into louder whines.
You lean back to pull away, but Lucifer tries to follow you to continue the kiss, but you softly push him back.
Hes panting hard, drool running down his chin, his cheeks very red, his eyes half lidded and his dick obviously very hard on his pants, a small wet spot already forming. He wipes the drool with his sleeve, looking at you with with need.
“Well someone’s pent up.” You say, stroking his cheek as he whines, jutting against you again, before you hold down his hips, earning you a distressed whimper.
“P-…please.. n’ so… want you.. p—ease…” He begs, kissing you desperately inbetween words.
You gently push him away. Before he could protest, you shove him down, so you are straddling him now.
He grips you waist, a desperate look on his face. “Mn p..please..”
You unbutton a couple of his shirt buttons. “Want me to care of you honey?” You coo, and he nods quickly.
You laugh a bit and finish unbuttoning, running your hand up and down his abs.
“P-please…! Mhm.. don’t tease me…” He whines, shuddering as your hand catches on the waist of his pants.
“Don’t worry handsome I’m gonna take care of you.” You murmur, unzipping his pants and pulling them down, as your partner squirms underneath you.
You stroke his cheek, pulling down his underwear, presenting his already hard and leaking cock, red at the tip. You glance at him to see his staring at you, desperately.
Pumping it a couple times, you lean down, teasing the tip a bit with a little swipe of your tongue, earning you a jolt. “Nnno t-easing…” Lucifer begs.
You slowly begin to take him in your mouth, a glance up letting you see his eyes begin to roll back into his head, his chest already heaving.
Slowly but surely you take his to the base, before you begin bobbing up and down, Lucifer’s hands flying to your hair, his hips stuttering subconsciously.
You don’t mind though, humming around him, knowing it drives him crazy. “Ngh h-agh.. fuuu- plea- darling… hah…” He squirms and writhes above you.
You go from speeding up to slowing down, still teasing him slightly. His cries filling the library, anyone who would walk past knowing exactly what is happening. Not that Lucifer would let them live after that.
Your hands play and knead his balls, your tongue massaging him. Drool is running down his chin by now, eyes trying to stay focused on you. Tears are on the edge of his eyes as he tries to desperately tries to keep them back.
“Co- ah.. hon- g’nna cum… pleas-ah!” He whines, trying to alert you to his upcoming, yet quick orgasm. You speed up, determined to make him cum, not minding that it’s so fast.
With a cry, Lucifer arches, cumming deep down your throat. You swallow, a bit dripping from your mouth. You sit up, looking at the fucked out expression on his face.
Smiling, you look at the panting, wrecked man infront of you. You push his hair out of his eyes, before sticking your fingers in his mouth.
As soon as you do that, he begins sucking sloppily, still experiencing aftershocks from his orgasm, spit running down your fingers.
Once you belive they are wet enough, you unbutton your own pants, with the help of Lucifer, you pull them down.
You reach behind you and slowly stick a finger in your entrance, hissing at the intrusion. After a couple moments you stick another in.
Lucifer watches lustfully, his cock already hard again, watching you piston your fingers in and out of yourself.
When you are stretched out enough, you pull them out, and line yourself up with lucifers dick, before going down on him sharply, bottoming out instantly.
You must admit it did hurt a tad, the shock a bit much. But your partners reaction priceless. As soon as you drop down. his nails dig into the couches armrest, tearing it up. His eyes roll back into his skull, face completely red. Hair tangled and messy. He heaves and lets out half moans and whimpers. Not quite being able to decide whether to beg or catch his breath.
However, he doesn’t get much of a choice as you begin bouncing up and down on him, setting a brutal pace right away.
He chokes on his spit, writhing underneath you, hands scrambling to find something to grab onto. Settling on your waist.
He begs and moans loudly, still sensitive from his previous orgasm. “Pleaseee fuckfuckfu- dar-darling.. ngh- ha.” He has his eyes shut as you bounce up and down on him, tears running down his cheeks from overstimulation.
He babbles mindlessly, letting himself go, not caring who hears. You giggle, panting above him “Come on.. ahm.- handsome, you can let yourself go… g-go- go ahead baby..” Your nails dig into his shoulders, driving him crazy.
Your orgasm comes to you quickly, having already been pent up today, just not showing it.
“Mhng- c’mmon - ah-ah-fuckfuckk ple-ase c-um with m- ba-baby…” Lucifer begs, his peak approaching rapidly.
After a couple moments he arches, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you two climax together. Shuddering above him, you look down to see him absolutely fucked out.
You smirk, taking a couple deep breathes. “Come.. on pretty boy, you can take more.” You say, before you begin to bounce again…
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A/N: I have a bit of writers block hehe, so this took me so long to get out and I apologize! But I hope you still enjoyed! I will be working on the other requests in my inbox now so If you requested I will be working on it soon, because I am on a basis where I go in order of when it has been sent in.
REQUESTS ARE OPEN
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devourable · 10 days
Text
⚠︎ the stalker
sfw, mdni, beta read by @fluffula | tags ;; masc yandere x gn reader — stalking (duh), themes of self deprecation/lack of self worth, erotomania
hii im back from my unannounced hiatus bc i have more time on my hands :] ik vega didnt win the poll but fsr theyre the only one i could get myself to write sooo 🫶 i know im super rusty since I haven't written in ages so sorry if this is a lackluster return fic. it just be like that
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vega just wasn’t the type of person that people liked. it was a fact, and he was well aware of it.
they were lanky and awkward, unkempt, and often didn’t know what to say or do in any given social situation. no one went out of their way to interact with them and vice versa. the few times he ended up around others anyway, he always found himself sidelined by the few people he could refer to as friends — they’d never be the focus, if they weren’t forgotten about entirely.
they weren’t anyone’s first choice. hell, they weren’t a second or third choice, either. it was a sad existence that he had accepted long ago — why bother trying to fit in if he wasn’t wanted? he was so boring, he wouldn’t wanna hang out with himself either, anyway. so every day and every night, they were alone.
then, he met you.
it started so simply. you started working at the same office as them, and they knew off the bat that it was your first time in a place like this. they expected nothing of you — maybe a lukewarm greeting as you passed each other during the workday, but not much more than that. so it surprised them when after your introduction, you rounded their desk and gently asked if they could show you around. maybe it was something about your tone, maybe it was that friendly look in your eye, maybe it was just you as a whole. but something about you just got them. they were out of their chair before they realized it.
they weren't the talkative type, but it didn't matter — you kept asking questions during the entire tour. what was that room for? how long had they been working there? did they like working there? you wanted their attention and they for the life of them couldn’t get why. even less so, they didn’t understand why they were so ready to give it to you. they couldn't help the way they stuttered out their answers to your questions, nor the way their face flushed after you laughed at the way they responded. but you did have to work, so you withdrew from them eventually to do just that.
well after you departed to your cubicle, you remained on their mind. your voice, the way you laughed, how you looked, it all swirled around in their mind as they sat in their desk. it remained that way the entire day, the following night, and the day after — they couldn't get you off their mind!
you chose him. you chose him, out of everyone else in the office. you were the only person that did that, and it made them feel so seen. so real, so… loved? was this what love was? the pounding in their chest and their flushed face would make him believe so. they couldn’t wait to see you again. just the thought of you returning the next day and every day after that bloomed butterflies in their tummy.
vega’s longing for you only grew more and more intense after every passing day. every day you came to work, they’d be the first to greet you and the last to bid you goodbye. they even changed their days off to match yours — going to work hardly seemed worth it if you weren’t there to make the day more bearable. every day they sat at their desk, daydreaming about spending time with you, going home with you, doing all the things they never imagined that they’d ever do before. and even though they were too awkward to seek you out during the work day, it didn’t stop them from staring at you every chance they got.
but after that first day, you paid less and less attention to them. you had work to do, after all, and no matter how hard they yearned for you, it grew harder to get you to notice them and harder for them to watch you. it was excruciating. for the first time in his life, vega wanted to be wanted — by you, specifically. he wanted your attention, your voice, your eyes on them again. but if they couldn’t have that, they needed to see you more to make up for it.
the stalking started small at first. occasionally following you when you got up from your desk to give a file to your supervisor or use the restroom, pretending to be distracted should you ever notice them (which you hardly did — they didn’t know if that bothered them or not). sometimes he ended his day at the same time yours ended so he could walk out with you, watching you leave from their car before they left themself. and eventually they started to follow you home directly. it was always from a distance. they wouldn’t want to frighten you, after all! it was okay as long as you weren’t bothered by it, he told himself.
he memorized your routine so he could base his own around it. you went to the store? he was going too. spending the day at the library? he was stalking after you from a different aisle. sometimes they’d leave little gifts on your doorstep just to see your bewildered reaction. watching you became his favorite pastime — they almost liked it more than talking to you directly. you somehow never noticed them lurking, staring at you from some shady hiding spot, panting and trembling just from the sheer excitement that your existence caused them. were you aware of just how cute you were when you thought no one was watching you? knowing all your bad habits, your mannerisms and all the things you did in private was exhilarating. it was like a secret for just the two of you. and whenever you came into work and talked to him like you usually did, it made him so fucking excited. did you know? maybe you did and you were fine with it. that had to be why you were so nice to them. they loved the idea of you liking their bad behavior.
vega had no plans of confessing to you anytime soon. he had so much fun stalking you, he saw no need to ruin it with his feelings. besides, you liked them back anyway — you had to have, why else would you let him get away with it for so long? he knew you wanted him, and he wanted you in return. all he had to do was wait for you.
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dudeitiskarev · 6 days
Text
Your voice | Aaron Hotchner
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gn reader
Summary: Aaron doubts himself as a father and husband.
Tags/warnings: girl dad Hotch <3; lots of self doubt; reassuring reader; hurt/comfort
Word count: 2.6k
Author's note: another repost! this was a request I got back in the day, and it was very challenging because I have an unpopular opinion about dad Hotch. But I managed to put those feelings aside and wrote this! And honestly, I love it, so I hope you love it too.
MASTERLIST
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One of Aaron’s favorite things about you has always been the way you interacted with a toddler; how happy you would get, gently squeezing his arm with excitement before walking up to the kid. How your eyes would shine so bright and how even the joy radiated through your voice.
        “I want one of these,” You’d said one day in a silly tone, more to yourself — and to the baby you were holding — than to anyone else who was around you. 
        That brief and adorable moment stuck with Aaron, replaying your words in his mind the entire day, and he couldn’t help but ask you about it later that same night. 
        You were watching some random movie you’d picked to fall asleep to, resting your head against his chest and his warm fingers tracing random lines on your arm when he said, “Do you really want babies?” 
        His raspy voice came out almost in a whisper.
        “Some day.” You smiled and pulled yourself closer to him.
        Since the moment Aaron came into your life, having a little human who resembled you both running around your home has always been part of your life plan. And though you hadn’t had that serious talk yet, that’s what Aaron wanted someday too. Raise a kid and give them everything he ever lacked and show them all the love he had to offer. He was sure that love would only be multiplied by a million with you by his side, so it didn’t take him much time to realize you were the one and ask you to marry him.
        You were the last couple of your friend group to walk down the aisle. That also meant being the last ones standing without babies; at every friends’ reunion there was a new baby — or at least a pregnant friend. 
        “I want more,” you’d said to him at one of your very pregnant friend’s baby shower. 
        “More… cupcakes?” Aaron turned his head to you, giving you a dimpled smile. 
        “More of us.”
        He scanned your face up and down with a smirk. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed your baby fever, it could almost come out of your pores. 
        Profiler or husband, he understood right away what you meant with more of us.
        “We can talk about it when we get home.”
        As soon as you settled on your couch that night you had the baby talk, and agreed over a shared glass of wine that it was a good time in your marriage to start trying. You both had stable jobs and you finally admitted to him how lonely you felt the few times he wasn’t home. 
        “We could get a puppy first, though. To practice,” you smiled at him unsure. 
        “No puppy, but we’ll practice,” he teased in your ear. “A lot.”  
        You did, starting that same night. And during the course of six months, you two kept practicing and practicing in every room of your home between endless I love you’s and kisses. 
        There were a few occasions in which your body felt strange as if your hormones had started charging already, but the test would come out negative every time. That short and painful silence after you both read ‘not pregnant’ was quickly filled with Aaron’s comforting “we’ll keep trying” . 
        To you it really wasn’t a shocking surprise when three tests finally came out positive, but to him it was. 
        Aaron wasn’t prepared and got too overwhelmed the moment you gifted him a tiny box with even tinier baby clothes in it. It took him a few seconds to open his mouth and yet all he was able to say was “ wow” while he hugged you tightly, swallowing the lump that was forming on his throat and blinking too many times to scare the joyful tears away.  
        It was happening. You two had made someone with so much love from scratch and soon it wasn’t going to be just you and him anymore. 
        The first few months were hell. To you, because your pregnancy symptoms were unbearable at times, and to Aaron who was desperate to help you feel better, googling every day different ways to get rid of morning sickness. But no vitamin or sour candy helped more than his magic hands – as you called them – massaging your temples with a little bit of peppermint lotion. It worked like a charm so whenever you two ended up being a hundred miles apart because of a case, blame built in his stomach, almost getting morning sickness too. You insisted that a phone call was good, but it was never enough for him. 
        Through your entire pregnancy Aaron tried his best to be there, and even when you’d had the conversation about his time-consuming job long before deciding to make your family grow, he still felt bad every time you went to a doctor’s appointments on your own. The pictures you sent him of your ultrasounds only made that feeling worse, but he never mentioned it to you. 
        Many weird food cravings, baby kicks and bump massages went by until the scheduled due date came. Hearing that first baby cry swelled Aaron’s chest with a kind of happiness he’d never experienced before, and the moment he held his newborn baby for the first time, her crying stopped. He knew that’s what he was meant to be, then as he kissed his daughter’s forehead, he promised himself to always be there. For you, for your baby, and that you’ll always have it all. 
        Time has always been the hardest thing to give. Something you learned to cherish with him the most since you started dating, so you were used to it. 
        Aaron… not so much. 
        If it were possible he would split himself into two, to be there for his family as much as being there for a victim. Most of the time, he chose the victim knowing well he’d find you at home safe and sound, and that was his best reward. And yet sometimes that guilt remained there, heavy on his chest and would try his best not to bring it home. 
        His sanctuary. 
        Ever since your daughter came to your life, Aaron felt safer at home for some reason. He’d get submerged in that comforting and faint baby perfume the instant he stepped one foot inside your place.
        And tonight, as he tossed his briefcase on the couch and his keys on the small table by the entrance, that perfume was stronger, meaning you’d probably finished getting her ready for bed not long ago.
        It was late and there was a chance you were awake, but he still stealthily walked through the house searching for you. 
        Each quiet room belonged to your daughter. She was everywhere, from the baby toys scattered in the bathtub, to the small pile of clean laundry on your bed, half folded. 
        When he found you on the warm lighted nursery, asleep on the rocking chair with your baby sleeping in your arms, he leaned against the door frame and stared at you for who knows how long, cherishing the view with a smile. You always seemed so peaceful, yet he could tell by the slight frown across your face that you were exhausted. 
        Then again, that guilt appeared — that ticking clock on the back of his head that haunted him, telling him to love you good and fast. 
        You were in fact asleep, but he needed to hear your voice. He walked up to you and leaned to give you a kiss on the top of your head.
        You groaned as a sign you were waking up and with squinted eyes you smiled at him. “Hey.” Aaron crouched next to you, kissing your baby’s head too.  “What time is it?”
        “Almost midnight.”
        “You okay?” You asked without a particular reason.
        He simply nodded as he kissed your lips, as a way of greeting, as goodnight, as an ‘ I love you’ , as an ‘I’m sorry’.. .
        It didn’t matter. The feeling of longing when his lips touched yours was always there.
        You nodded back and carefully rose from the chair, tucking your baby on her crib. Aaron was right behind you and wrapped one arm around your waist, kissing your cheek. 
        “I expected you tomorrow,” you murmured, turning your head to him.  
        “We finished sooner and I– I couldn’t wait until morning.”
        “You took a commercial flight again ?” 
        Aaron raised his brows as he nodded. 
        He’d done that many times before when a case was in a nearby state (but the pilot wasn’t available until early the next morning). You’d told him he shouldn’t spend money on a flight if he could wait a few more hours, but he was impatient most of the time. The next morning was always too late for him and he never really looked at flight prices if it meant he’d see his family soon. 
        “Hey,” you noticed an odd look on his face, “what’s wrong?” 
        At that moment —besides his loud mind — absolutely nothing. 
        Aaron kissed your cheek once again and merely said, “I just missed you.”
        While you two stayed quiet admiring how your daughter slept, Aaron’s only thought was how you were almost raising your kid on your own, how all he ever got to see was how good of a parent you were becoming and how stuck and new to it he still was.
        “You can talk to me.” You snapped him out of his anguished thoughts and brought the hand on your hip to your lips, kissing his palm.
        “I know,” he smiled but you gave him your classic not-so-convinced eyebrow-raise. 
        Sharing your life with a profiler has developed your own kind of profiling method. It was different from his, but you could read every raise of a brow, every lick of his lips and every slow blink. You also knew when those dimples you adored so much weren’t as genuine, that he was hiding his feelings as he used to do in the beginning of your relationship. 
        Aaron remained staring at you while you kept trying to read him. 
        “What?” He asked in a teasing tone when he caught a glimpse of a smile on your eyes. 
        “Did you know,” you started, clearing your throat, “that she never finishes her milk?” You gestured at your baby with your brows. “But whenever you give her her dinner, there isn’t one single drop left on her bottle?”
        Aaron smiled, “You’ve never told me that?”
        You turned your whole body to him, clutching his waist and in return he cupped your face, brushing your cheeks with his thumbs.
        “You always brag about how she sleeps all night, too,” you laughed a little, ”because whenever you’re home she never wakes up, but that’s because it’s you who always puts her to bed.”
        “So she’s not really a good sleeper?” He asked.
        “The nights you’re not here are coincidentally her bad nights.”
        “Sorry.”
        You shook your head and smiled at him for a moment, then said, “You’re a great dad, Aaron. Our little girl knows that, I know that.” He cut you off by giving you a soft quick peck on your lips before letting you continue, “and you are the best  – and sexiest – husband in the world.” 
        Aaron chuckled. He may never get used to hearing you call him sexy . 
        You two held an intimate stare for a few seconds. Those stares in which you say I love you in every language with one single shared glimmer of eyes. 
        You sighed deeply and kept going, “I know you only focus on the times you’re away, and I’m gonna be honest, I do wish you were home more often with a regular schedule but honey, that would kill you.” He sucked in a breath in clear struggle trying to say something too but nothing came out. “I met you loving your job, and I know you love us more than anything. You’re passionate about the things you love and...we’re still figuring it out. This whole parenting thing.”
        As always, you’d hit the nail. 
        “It’s not a competition between work and your family,” you added, “and if you feel that way, like you have to choose every time your phone rings in the middle of a cheesy family moment… we need to work on that,” you teased, raising your brows at him the way he always did. 
        “I feel like I’m missing so much,” he said, glancing at your baby for a second. “I look back and wish I’d been there every day through your pregnancy. And now I’m doing the exact same thing. She’s gonna turn one soon and every time I get home she seems bigger.”
        “That’s because she’s gonna be as tall as you,” you tried to lighten it up a bit, but it hurt knowing he was struggling with things you could easily get through just by talking about them. “We’re learning here, you and me, we’re a team and we can always get better if we work together. Don’t beat yourself up.”
        “What can I do?” A sigh escaped past his mouth. “To be better for you?”
        To avoid coming home one day and not find you.
        “Aaron,” you stroked his cheek with the back of your curled fingers. “I love you. So much. I’m not gonna tell you what to do, mainly because there’s no need, you’re already perfect–”
        No matter how many times you said that, that was the only thing he couldn’t believe.
        “I’m so scared to lose you,” he whispered.
        “You’re so crazy,” you chuckled; he didn’t. You tried to find his eyes but they were shut with a pained frown and stayed like that while you said, “Every time you kiss me, every time you hold our baby and I see how amazing you’re with her… I fall in love with you all over again.”
        You closed your eyes too and licked your lips in deep thought. You hated the fact that he’d never capture himself the way you did – how truly perfect he was. 
        “I don’t see that ever happening, leaving you. I would be stupid crazy,” you assured him, giving him one quick kiss. “Unless you cheat on me,” you teased again. 
        “I would never,” he said in a very serious tone staring right back at you.  
        “We’ll be right here, then.” You circled his nose with yours. “I’m here for you, honey. Always, and if you need me to reassure you everyday of our life, I will. Just… talk to me, okay? You know I love listening to you.”
        He nodded, returning the kiss before pulling you into a strong hug and stayed there, breathing each other in for a moment while hearing your daughter’s calm breathing.
        “And she does too,” you half-broke the hug keeping your arms around his waist. “I tried telling her one of your stories tonight but... it didn’t work.”
        “How did you get her to sleep, then?”
        You snickered at him reaching for your phone, and after a few taps on the screen, Aaron’s voice telling your daughter’s favourite bedtime story began to sound out of the speakers.
        “Is that me?” He tilted his brow with a slight smirk. 
        “I may have voice recorded you once or twice telling her a story?” You bit your lip and let the sound play as you continued, “I knew it’d come in handy. I’m not a good storyteller like you.”
        “God,” he sighed deep. “I love you so much.”
        And as he held your face and gave you one more loving kiss on your lips, the ticking clock froze and each time he doubted himself vanished, letting himself breathe at peace for the first time in a while. 
        “I love you,” You murmured against his lips, brushing your thumb over his cheek. “And your voice helps me fall asleep too.”
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uglypastels · 2 years
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Following the Herd // dark!cult!Eddie x reader
summary: Eddie Munson has never been anything but sweet and caring to you. He had always made sure you were alright and safe and always helped you with anything you asked for. So now, that he needed you, how could you possibly refuse?
PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING TO READ THIS FIC AND IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE SOUND OF THEM, DO NOT READ IT. if you do and still have any complaints about the content that has been tagged, that's on you. <3
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word count: 14k
warnings the occult and cult stuff. blood. ritual sacrifices. inflicting non-lasting injury on self/others. subliminal indoctrination. Manipulation and taking advantage of the naive and innocent reader. Eddie is protective, possessive and controlling. has issues. mention of character death [the Creels]. mention of drinking, smoking and drugs.
Explicit Content! 18+ only. Minors DNI! fem reader. PIV sex. unprotected sex (big no-no). heavy s/d dynamic. thigh riding. extended orgasm denial. overstimulation. innocence and corruption kink + virginity. knife kink (kinda). spitting. oral [f receiving]. debatable dacryphilia. blindfold. Eddie's handcuffs. praise. "whore" x1.
If I missed out on any warnings, I severely apologise. Please let me know and I will add them
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"Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint"
-the Rolling Stones, Sympathy for the Devil
The thing one must understand about Eddie Munson is that he never meant for anything bad to happen. On the contrary, he had nothing but good intentions for you, for anyone. He was a kind, deeply caring person who wanted nothing but the best for others. It was not his fault that people didn't understand him. 
So what? He didn't dress like all the other conservative assholes in town. He was different and dared to speak up for himself; since when is that a crime? He had his beliefs to fight for, just like anyone else; why would that make him the bad guy? People have started wars over way less, and yet, Eddie had been the one cast out from society, branded as a monster. He, who had never done anything wrong in his life. 
You knew like no other how wrong these misconceptions about him were, having experienced his kindness first-hand. It was only a year ago, but it could have been a lifetime. It was almost a coincidence how he found you at that party over spring break. There were so many people, and the music was so loud, that it was easy to get disorientated. The air was thick with smoke and the smell of liquor, making you sick. He had helped you then. It was Eddie who took your hand and led you outside into the fresh and cold night air. 
'You alright?' He looked deep into your eyes with a soft smile, to which you could only smile sheepishly. Maybe that is how he had thought of his cute nickname for you? 'What's a cute little lamb like you doing out here, all alone, anyway?' 
'I'm here with my friends. Just… seemed to have misplaced them somewhere.' You had laughed, not wanting to show how scary that had actually been. The music from inside the house was still blasting, beating against your chest. Eddie nodded in understanding. 
'You've got to be careful, sweetheart, don't want to lose yourself to this chaos.' He brushed some hair out of your face; your skin was burning up from how warm it had been in the house. You only noticed it when compared to the cold touch of his hand. His eyes were still on you, focused, the deep dark of his irises pulling you in. 'Haven't been drinking, have we?' He smiled innocently, clearly teasing, intensifying the burning heat in your cheeks. 
'No.' You could say it earnestly, but the reasons behind your honesty felt a bit embarrassing. You almost didn't want to admit that you had never had a drink before and were still apprehensive about alcohol. He would surely think it's silly, to be 18 and never even have had a beer or a shot. There were so many things you still hadn't done, in fact, that he would probably see as normal.
But his smile grew bigger, and he almost sounded proud when he continued with the conversation: 'Good. Good. You don't want that stuff in you.' 
'I don't?' You blinked as he shook his head. Anyone else would have told you to suck it up, but not him.
'No, all it will do is ruin that pretty mind of yours. And we don't want that, do we?' His voice made your heart flutter in excitement, which proved everyone else's suspicions wrong. Because no evil could make you feel that good, could it? 
And it never really stopped. Neither the feeling you felt when you were around him nor how he treated you. Eddie had a very protective and caring nature. He needed to be sure you were safe and alright. At school, he would ensure you ate your lunch, had a good night's sleep the night before, and weren't too cold or too warm. He invited you to hang out a lot– an offer you could hardly refuse. He walked you home and would help you with your homework or take you back to his trailer, where he would play you songs on his guitar. The music he listened to sure was different from what you were used to. Heavy, gritty and dark, but all of that talk that it was Satan's music was ridiculous. Anyone who would listen to a few bars of it could know that. And the artistry of these musicians was also undeniable. 
Eddie had never expected you to enjoy his kind of music as much as you did, but it brought the biggest smile to his face, which, in turn, made you that much happier. You couldn't get enough of his happiness and could do anything for it. It would be the fair thing to do, considering everything Eddie's done for you... 
When your parents found out you had started hanging out with a boy like Eddie Munson, they were, quite honestly, scared. They did not want his likes to influence you, making you stray down to a dark and dangerous lifestyle. 
But it couldn't be further away from the truth. 
Eddie ensured you stayed away from things such as alcohol or drugs, even cigarettes. He didn't even want you talking about it, didn't want you anywhere near the stuff. And even though he used all of it, he made sure to never do it around you. He would hide away the weed and the liquor bottles in his trailer, and he'd control his need to smoke until you had left. 
'It's too late for me, I'm beyond saving, but that doesn't mean you have to go down that path too.' He would say, stroking your hair, if you ever asked why he was so adamant about keeping you away from these vices. 'Can't have my little lamb be ruined like that.' And he would kiss your forehead, ring-clad hand upon your cheek. His rips were usually chapped, and fingers roughly calloused, but you didn't mind. His touch still felt divine. 
Eddie protected you from more than just these substances. He knew you were not the most experienced in living life, which was something he appreciated and praised, but the shock on his face when you had told him you had never even had your first kiss… the idea of that made his head spin. It excited him more than he had ever thought imaginable, but it also scared him. Since he had found that out about you, you had noticed how much more protective he had gotten over you around certain people. It was cute, how possessive he got when other guys looked at you. 
'Believe me, baby, they're no good for you.' He would hold you close, turning your back to whoever had been trying to catch your eye. 'Guys like that… they only have one thing on their mind.' 
'What's that?' you asked, but he never gave you a direct answer. It was nothing his little lamb should be worried about. You were his pure, innocent girl, and he couldn't have the evils of others corrupt you. He wanted what's best for you. 
He really did make you feel safe and comfortable, in a way no one had ever done before. You felt like you could tell him anything, no matter how personal or embarrassing. Things you wouldn't dare tell any other guy. 
'Uhm, Eddie,' you mumbled one time. You were in your bedroom, sitting on the ground with your backs against your bed. Eddie had you sitting between his legs. His hands around your middle, rubbing small circles on the bare piece of skin between where your shirt and trousers met. The sensation it left on you spread across your whole body in sparks, particularly between your legs, making it very hard to focus on the book you had been trying to read.
'Something wrong?' He asked, head propped up on your shoulder as he spoke, so his words came out with his warm breath against your neck, not helping your situation. 
'I uh–' you were flustered; the only thing you could think about was how his fingers were creeping over your stomach, inching your waistband. 'Nevermind.' 
'No, no, sweetheart. Now you got to tell me.' 
'It's a bit warm in here, don't you think?' You breathed out slowly. 
'Not really.' He shrugged. 'But you can open a window if you want.' 
You took the opportunity to get away from his touch. Not that you minded it or that it wasn't pleasant. On the contrary, you had to escape it because of how good it felt. You had never felt like this before. Hot and bothered, all over. It wasn't something you were used to or even knew how to handle. 
'Are you sure, you're alright?' Eddie asked once you came back to sit in his lap. You hummed out a response, but he could tell it wasn't all true. 'C'mon, it's me. You can tell me, can't you?' Of course, you could. You could tell Eddie anything, that much you knew. 
'I just– feel a bit hot. That's all.' It still all felt a bit silly. A bit difficult to put into words.
'Hot?' He asked for a clarification, to which you only nodded your head. You looked down at your lap, embarrassed even though you knew there was nothing to be ashamed about. Eddie wrapped his arms around you, but his hands were low, pressing at the hem of your trousers, and it wasn't making matters any better. 
'What are you doing?' You gasped when you felt him slip past the material of your shorts, fingers sliding over your panties slowly. You arched your back in anticipation; it was an automatic, subconscious reaction. Still, it felt wrong, though. He had always told you how that part of you was sacred, off limits for others. 
Others. Yes. 
Not him. 
'I just need to check something.' His voice was a mere hush as his fingertips brushed over your core, just the thin layer of cotton keeping up the barrier between you. But he wouldn't actually touch you there. Not yet. He couldn't ruin you like that. It would be inconsiderate and selfish, and that's not who Eddie was. He just wanted what's best for you.
'You are burning up, baby,' he clicked his tongue when his fingers added some pressure to the touch. Your back stiffened, and you held your breath, unsure what to do. 'I wish I could help, but I can't right now.' Of course, you would never actually protest anything he did, knowing he had his valid reasons, but you wished he hadn't pulled away. 
'Why not?' your voice was shaky. 
'It's not the right time,' he pressed you back against his chest, taking in your sweet scent. Your shampoo, your perfume, even the ink of the pen you had been writing with for the past few hours, and your arousal– all mixed into something that could only be described as you. 
'Right time?' you weren't sure what he meant by that, but Eddie talked a lot about funny things that you didn't understand. Mostly, it was about the game he played at school with his friends, Dungeons and Dragons. He had tried to explain it to you several times, and most of it was easy enough to grasp, but he could talk on about it for ages, and it was almost as if he was pulling you into a trance of attention. Words would lose their meaning as you were too focused on Eddie himself. The sound of his voice and his movements– he always used his hands to emphasise what he said. And maybe it was for the better you didn't understand everything that was happening in the club. 
Not that it mattered, anyway. It was nothing his little lamb should be worried about.
'Yeah, got to wait a bit, sweetheart. Patience is a virtue, isn't that what they always say? And believe me, if you wait a bit longer, it will be so worth it.' 
'How long?' you already didn't want to wait. His featherlight touch had been enough to ignite a fire in you. But, unfortunately, it wasn't enough to subside whatever feeling was gnawing at you there. If anything, the memory of his touch only made it worse. You needed more. 
'Not too long. I'll let you know when it's time, ok?' He started rubbing his hand over your arm. 'But you got to promise me one thing.' 
'Of course.' Anything for Eddie. He knew what was best. 
'Do not touch yourself there, ok? It might be difficult because you might not feel much better without it, but it will feel so wonderful in the end. I promise.' He made plenty of these kinds of promises and had held up to them every single time. That was another reason you trusted him; everyone else was simply wrong in their perceptions. An evil person would not keep to their promises as Eddie did. 
Eddie cared
Deeply
About you. 
So you listened to what he asked of you, nearly blindly. 
The feeling inside of you grew much to your frustration, but you kept your promise to Eddie. The days went on rather slowly, not helping your problem, and neither did Eddie. His touches seemed to linger more than they used to. He was always at your side, keeping you close to him; that didn't change that much. But he would let his hands wander over your body. 
Perhaps he was nervous about something, and the way he coped was to draw invisible shapes all over your body when he had his arms wrapped around you. He'd mumble to himself, little nonsense things you couldn't make out. He also got a bit forgetful; at lunchtime, he would forget to save you a seat, leading you to have to sit in his lap. Not that you minded. But what was a bit frustrating was how antsy he had gotten, letting his leg bouncing up and down. (What was he so nervous about?) Other times you wouldn't have minded, but how his jeans grazed over your sensitive and already frustrated core made you want to cry out. 
'Eddie, could you maybe stop that? Please?' You looked up at him, trying to get rid of the lump in your throat. 
'Sorry, baby,' He stopped, but the friction was just replaced by the hand he had put on your thigh. So many people were around you, all chatting and enjoying their free time out of class, yet there was only him for you. His big brown eyes sucked you into a place where it was just the two of you. So you weren't even embarrassed when he asked you: 'have are you feeling? Been a good little lamb for me?' 
'Yes.' As if on cue, you couldn't help but rub your legs together, needing some kind of stimulus to keep you away from that burning feeling between your legs. It had been going on for days, only getting stronger, and you could do nothing about it. 
Your action didn't escape Eddie's vision, and he was quick to pull your legs apart. However, his hand remained sturdily between them. 
'Haven't been touching yourself?' He wasn't whispering or trying not to be heard, but no one was paying attention really anyway. But even if they had, you didn't care. 
'No. Of course not.' He would ask you the same question each day, and each day you could happily respond. Even if every time it got harder and harder to do. 'But… Eddie–' 
'Hmm?' he hummed, pushing some hair out of your face with the hand that had not settled over the warm gap between your thighs.
'I feel like it's just getting worse,' your voice was almost lost in the ocean of others, but he heard you, and he smiled softly as you continued. 'I don't know how much longer–' but that is where he cut you off. 
'I know, baby. I know. But you're not ready yet, and we don't want all of this to go to waste, do we?' He looked you in the eyes until you shook your head in agreement; what you agreed to, however, was a bit vague. 'But it's not much longer anymore, and then just think of how good it will feel. Your reward will be grand.' 
'Reward?' He had never even said anything about a reward. 
'Oh, of course. My little lamb deserves a prize for behaving this well.' He squeezed you into a tight hug, pulling you in. You could feel his thumb press against your sensitive bud again for just a second, but you pushed aside the urge for more. He propped you up, helping you sit up better in his lap, but this again only made you feel his hand on you more prominently. His lips were nearly against your jaw when he spoke up again. 'How about you come over to my place later, and I'll try to help you with your problem, hmm? A… little taste of what's to come?' 
'Are you sure?' You didn't want him to do anything that could end up hurting either of you. If he said, you weren't ready… 
'Yeah, I can't have you walking around like this, all flustered. It's making all the other guys stare.' 
'What?' This made you stiffen up a bit. Why were they all staring at you? Could they tell, see even, how enkindled you were? You hadn't thought so. 
'Shh, it's alright. I'll take care of them. Don't you worry.' He would make sure you were safe, that much you knew. 'Meet me at the car later. I'll drive us home.' The bell for the next class would ring soon, and you wouldn't see Eddie until after school ended. Those were always the hardest times of the day, besides maybe when you were lying in bed alone, wishing he was with you to help you fall asleep and make that ache between your legs finally disappear. 
The classes were almost impossible for you to get through, as all you could think of was Eddie. Minutes were passing by so slowly, that you wanted to scream. Was no one else upset about how time just did not seem to move forward? That could not be possible. But, then again, you were the only one irking to get out of there to meet Eddie in the parking lot. 
You practically jump into his arms. The wind blew in your face, bringing his dark locks along and tickling your neck. He smelled like incense and his musky cologne. Someone like him should have something more bitter about him, you had thought at be beginning of your friendship, but Eddie was sweet. Not just in his actions, but in everything else around him. Because even with that smokey scent, mixed with his cologne, there was still a sweetness around him that you could not identify. It pulled you in, the familiarity of it, and yet you could never quite place it in your mind as to what it was. 
Eddie's hand never left your body as he drove you to the trailer park. You loved when he drove his car, but it was also frustrating that his hand was all he could give you. His eyes were, of course, entirely concentrated on the road ahead, and you missed them. 
Fortunately, the drive wasn't too long, and before you knew it, he led you out to his trailer, into the back of it, where his room was. It was messy, like most days, and there were things strewn about all over the place, which Eddie tried to sort out as he went along. He picked something up that looked like a long glass vase from next to his bed and put it in his closet. 
'What was that?' you asked curiously as he sat down on the bed. You were still standing by the door. 
'That? Oh, nothing, baby. Just c'mere.' He held out his hand for you to take once you had made your way over to him. You were ready to sit down, but Eddie pressed the palm of his other hand over your stomach, keeping you up. 'Hmm, no. Wait up.' He took both your hands in his, kissing your knuckles. 'Before we start, I need you to listen, really carefully, to me. I got to know you understand.' 
Eddie rarely spoke in such a serious manner, so it made you a bit nervous. He held your hands tightly, and you stood between his spread legs. He looked up at you, almost with pleading eyes, as if he didn't know that you were already listening to him intently, taking in each word he gave you desperately, never wanting him to stop giving you his attention or time.  
'I'm listening, Eddie, always,' you smiled, and he hugged out a little laugh. 
'This is just really important to me,' he chuckled lightly again, 'I want to make you feel good, sweetheart, but I can't make that feeling that is bothering you go away just yet. It shouldn't go away just yet, because you're not ready, we're not ready… but we can do something to help with it; for now, does that sound alright?' 
'Yes.' Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as he kissed your knuckles again. 
'Good, come sit here,' he tapped onto his right thigh, and you sat down, but apparently not in the way he had meant for you to do, as he laughed. 'No, baby. Like this. Here.' He shuffled a bit back onto the bed and made you sit with your legs on either side of his, locking him in between you. He put his hand on your hip, pushing you into him. The material of your jeans pressed into you, releasing some of the tension that had been building up in you over the past few days. Then, with his guidance, you started moving your hips over his leg. 
'Feels good, doesn't it?' Eddie asked, and you nodded your head quickly. 'Yeah, and it will only feel better the longer you keep doing it. Go a bit faster– that's it.' 
'It– oh my- aah,' you gasped out at this foreign sensation that rushed through your body. 'Thank you,' the words came out with a heavy breath of air as you found your rhythm.
'You're very welcome, sweetheart. You've been doing so well for me, haven't you? Deserve a little treat.' Your faces were nearly at the same level with you on his lap, and his mouth ghosted over yours. You could feel it there, not even an inch apart, but he couldn't– no matter how much he wanted to kiss your perfect lips, they would remain untouched for now. But it wouldn't be long anymore. Soon, he would make all this wait worthwhile. 
'Keep going as long as you want, baby,' the sight of you pleasuring yourself on his thigh made him short circuit, but he had to keep his mind clear. 
'It feels–' you didn't know how to describe the feeling that started to overcome you. You were tensing up again. Suddenly the release you felt from this friction didn't feel as satisfying anymore. It was urging you on to keep going, to tense that tight feeling in you until it snapped, but it was getting worse. Finally, you had to squeeze your eyes shut. 'Eddie!' 
'Woah, Woah, Woah.' He halted your hips tightly. 'Stop.' 
'What-' you were confused, not sure what had happened. The tight feeling in your gut loosened, but the satisfaction you had felt also reclined. 
'You were close, weren't you?' He asked, and you weren't entirely sure what he meant by "close", but somehow, on a deeper level, you knew that that is what you had felt, and so nodded a bit meekly. Eddie nodded along in understanding. 'See, you're not ready for that yet, baby. So if you feel it again, you got to tell me and stop, got it? If you feel that tightness coming, do not keep going. It can be too much for you right now, I don't want you to ger hurt.'
'I get it,' a lump formed in your throat again. 
'Alright. Do you want to do it again?' He squeezed your hips, and you bit your lip. You did want to keep going, as it did feel amazing when you could release some of that tension your body had built up. Eddie just wanted to help you; it wasn't his fault that he couldn't get rid of this hollow feeling inside you. He did everything he could to make you feel as good as possible. He let you writhe over his leg for an eternity, replaying the cycle of your pleasure, letting you inch toward that unattainable high. Every time you felt the knot in your stomach, you would gasp out his name, and he would hold you still. It was torture you brought upon yourself to keep going over and over again, but it felt so good. It didn't matter that you could never actually get it to completion. That initial feeling of bliss compensated for the pain of unfulfillment. 
'You're so good for me. My sweet little lamb, always listens so well.' Even if there was nothing to inherently pleasure Eddie, he still felt fantastic. Seeing you like this made him feel like never before, and to see you obey his requests as you did… it was pure euphoria. 
Tears were stinging your eyes, but he was quick to brush them away, right at the corners of your eyes. You could not possibly go on much longer. Your grip on his shoulder weakened, and your hips started jutting forward haphazardly, exhausted.
'Eddie,' you gasped out a final time; you didn't even have energy left in you to reach that edge anymore. Your body shut down as you fell forward into Eddie. He fell back, holding on to you as his back hit the mattress. 
'Did so good, baby. So good.' He held you tightly as you caught your breath. You were shaking, so he grabbed the covers and pulled them over you. 
'I– thank you.' You nuzzled deeper into his hold. No words were exchanged for a while. His arms stayed wrapped around you, caressing your back gently as the seconds on the clock ticked by. 
'How are you feeling?' He eventually asked, whispering, in case you had fallen asleep on top of him. But you answered, voice weak and tired: 
'I'm alright.' Everything was still spinning a bit; you couldn't quite tell up from down. The only thing grounding you was Eddie. He started to draw more random shapes over your back, mumbling nothings to himself, and you were ready to doze off. Peace was coming over you. Then his voice turned up a bit louder as he spoke directly to you.
'I'm so proud of you.' It was still a whisper, but his voice vibrated through his throat. 
'Thank you, Eddie.' 
'Mmm, did so good, you know what?' He kissed your forehead. 'How about we go to the mall tomorrow. Get you something nice?' 
Your head shot up in the excitement, and you looked into his eyes. 'Is– that my reward?' 
'No, I just want to spoil you,' he chuckled, petting your hair flat, 'Your reward will be so much better. Just you wait.' He rolled over to his side, taking you along so you'd fall onto the mattress beside him. 'Want me to take you home?' He asked, and you had nodded yes, and maybe had even said it, but your eyelids were so heavy, and you were so tired, that soon sleep came over you, and you had never felt quite as peaceful as you had in his arms. 
Eddie not once thought of letting you go. He did what he had to do to keep you close and safe. 
His pure and innocent little lamb. 
All his. 
✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮
The next day, he did indeed take you shopping. It was a lovely day full of sunshine, and he held your hand as you walked past stores. Even if you hadn't realised it, he already had something in mind he wanted to get you, and it just so happened to be at one store you frequented. 
He watched you go through the racks of clothing and smiled anytime he caught your eye. He had to pull you back. Otherwise, you would have missed the one thing he had wanted you to see. 
'How about this one?' He picked a dress up from the hanger. It was a long and flowy white summer dress. You furrowed your brows, not having expected that to be his choice of outfit for you. It was neither his nor your style, yet he handed it to you with plenty of enthusiasm. 
'Are you sure?' You asked, watching him nod his head adamantly. 
'You'll look gorgeous, I can already tell.' he pressed the dress against you, looking at how it would look on you. 'Wanna go and try it on?' 
'Yeah, of course,' you smiled, and the next thing you knew, Eddie was opening up the door to a dressing room for you. He hung the dress on a hook next to the mirror and closed the door behind him. He said he would be right there if you needed anything, and you knew it was true. He would be sitting right there in one of the fuzzy chairs, waiting for you to come out and spin around for him. 
But unfortunately, the zipper in the back of the dress was not as easy to pull up as you thought, so you called out his name. Not a second later, Eddie popped his head inside the little room, eyes closed for your decency. 
'It's alright, Eds,' you giggled, 'you can look. I just can't get the zipper up.' 
'Ah, well, let me,' he came up to you, and his hands were on the small of your back, holding the two sides of the dress together so he could pull the zipper up. It was cold against your skin, and Eddie moved extremely slowly, not wanting to accidentally snag the fabric or get your hair caught in it. He pulled it all the way up and smoothed out the dress at your sides, not that you thought it had been that wrinkled. You had been facing the mirror, so he put his head on your shoulder to look along with you. 
'Absolutely beautiful.' He whispered, imitating the confined intimacy of the dressing room. Your cheeks heated up at the compliment, but also because you did actually feel beautiful wearing the dress. It fitted perfectly, wrapping around your body at every angle. It was light, comfortable, soft… just the white colour felt slightly off for you. Eddie noticed this apprehension in your face. 'What's wrong, sweetheart?'
'I'm just not so sure about white. It doesn't really feel like me, does it?' 
'Thought you might want to try something new. And just look how good it looks on you.' Then, with a finger under your chin, he made you look in the mirror again, 'An angel.' 
'Oh, Eddie,' you swung around to hug him. 'Thank you.' you mumbled the words against his chest. 
'Anything for you, baby.' His hand moved up and down over your back. 
After the dress shopping, the two of you walked around, with no real goal or destination in mind. The presence of each other was more than enough. But as the day went on, you couldn't help but feel down. Eddie had done so much for you over time, especially in the recent days; you wanted to repay him somehow. Show him that you cared for him just as much as he cared about you. Did he even know that you would do anything for him? You hoped so. 
You kept on thanking him as the day went on, which only made him laugh. The message had been quite clear after the first three times, and now it was becoming almost excessive. But he could never complain either, loving how much you appreciated him, but enough was enough. Surely. 
'I just wish I could do something in return.' 
'You really don't need to.' He cupped your face in the palm of his hand. 
'But I want to.' You persisted. 'There must be something I could do for you.' 
'Not that I can think of, but if anything comes up, I will let you know.' And that was that. You didn't want to press on the matter; why nag on a little thing like that, ruin what would be a lovely day? So, you went and had coffee at a café on Main Street, where Eddie again demanded to pay the bill, and then he drove you back home. Only when the car stopped in front of your driveway did you realise that this had been the longest time you had ever spent with Eddie: Almost an entire day. And it had also been one of the best days ever. Not because of how he had spoiled you– you couldn't care less about that stuff– but because you had not once stopped smiling. With him, you felt like you were on cloud nine, seventh heaven, paradise, and you never wanted it to stop. 
'What are you doing tomorrow?' you asked hopefully. It would be a Sunday then, and like most Sundays, you would have nothing to do. Eddie tapped the steering wheel.
'I got some things to take care of. Nothing too exciting.' Perhaps he saw your deflated expression. 'We'll hang out another time, yeah? I'll see you at school.' If you had been two different people, you would have leaned in and kissed goodbye, but instead, Eddie cupped your face again and tapped your cheek lightly with his hand. You did lean into his touch, not wanting it to leave you, but it always did at some point. 
'I'll miss you.' You pouted, which he mimicked. 
'And I'll miss you too, but this thing– it's really important. I can't miss it, and it will most likely take me the whole day–' 
'Why don't I help you?' You interrupted as the idea jumped to your mind. 'Then we can still spend time together and maybe you might even finish sooner.' 
'Oh, you don't want to–' 
'But I do,' you persisted. This was your chance. You could finally prove to Eddie how much he meant to you. 
'Are you sure?' Eddie raised his brow inquisitively. You nodded your head once but very clearly, indicating your standpoint. He couldn't get rid of you even if he tried. He knew it too, as seen through the deep sigh he took, but he was smiling. Your persistence was adorable. 
'Ok, fine. Do you know where the Creel House is?' 
'The creepy old boarded-up building?' Yeah, you knew the Creel House. Everyone in town did. Everyone had heard the story of what had happened there all those years ago, and it still made you feel uncomfortable to think about it. 
'I'll see you there at 5, ok? Wear the pretty dress we got today, too. I can't get enough of you in it.' And this time, he did lean in to kiss your cheek. Or, almost your cheek. It had been where he had intended for his lips to touch you, but it had only missed your own lips by less than an inch. The kiss was also just like all the other formalities. It probably lasted less than a second but left you wanting more. That warm feeling in your body resurfaced, much to your dismay. After yesterday, you had hoped it would stay hidden a bit longer, but apparently, one tiny featherlight kiss on the apple of your cheek was enough for it to come back up. 
'Who knows,' Eddie took your hand, 'maybe tomorrow will be the day, too.' 
'You mean–' you looked up at him with wide eyes. 
'We'll see. Now go, sweetheart.' He left you thinking about it for the entire night. Were you finally ready? Would this unbearable ache in your pit finally disappear? You hoped so. You were jittery with excitement about the next day. You could barely sleep, even though you knew Eddie wouldn't appreciate that (he always needed you to be well rested). And then the morning came, and you couldn't get a bite of your breakfast down your throat as you jumped in your seat from anticipation. You knew it was silly, but after all this time, you finally got a chance to show Eddie everything. And you had waited for weeks to touch yourself, and it was as if your body could tell that the waiting time was almost over. 
It was almost over; you told yourself as you made your way to the house. You were too early; you knew that, but better too early than too late. Maybe Eddie would already be there, and then… that is when you realised you actually had no idea what you were coming into the house for. What did he want you to do there? 
A harsh wind blew, pulling at the hem of your dress, which you had to hold not to let the street see your backside. The steps to the porch creaked under your footsteps, and the door you knew was once covered in wooden boards was now broken open. The beautiful stained-glass window was broken into shards, with a large hole in the middle– exactly where the rose used to bloom daily. 
'Hello?' You called out as you stepped inside. The temperature immediately seemed to drop, and the air had a moist hint, thick with dust flying around you. Footsteps were coming from upstairs. 
'Baby?' It was Eddie, and the sound of his voice immediately made all your worries go away.
'Yes! It's me!' You wanted to tread the stairs, a large and eccentric staircase, but Eddie showed up at the top of it. His hair was fastened up with his black bandana. You had imagined he would appreciate your early arrival, but a grimace covered his face instead. 
'You're early. I told you 5.' The old clock in the back of the hallway still clicked away and pointed to ten minutes to five, so you weren't that early. 
'I'm sorry. I walked faster than I expected.' 
'It's alright, just– just wait here. I'm almost ready.' Oh, was he setting something up for you? A surprise? Your reward? It brought back all these fluttery feelings in your stomach. 
You could hear Eddie shuffling around the upper floor, right above you. He was walking up and down the room, carrying things around. You wanted to go up and help him, but since he had told you to wait– you waited. Five minutes went by, ten, fifteen, and you were getting restless at the bottom of these tall stairs. With each creak in the floorboards, you hoped Eddie would appear again. 
That only happened a bit later, when you glanced up and saw him walk out of a dark room. He grinned down at you, and your body screamed to run up those stairs, but again, you waited for him to let you. 
'C'mere, I want to show you something.' And that is how you eagerly made your way upstairs finally. Eddie waited at the top step and watched how your dress flowed with your movements. Truly angelic, if such things existed. Holding you by the hand, he led you into the room he had just come out of. 
All the large windows were plastered shut, covered with wooden planks or plastic tarps, and while that should have made the room pitch black, you could still see everything inside clearly. That is because Eddie had set up candles all over the surfaces near the large bed that stood in the middle of the room. The orange flames gave the room a warm glow, and it must have been the most romantic thing you had ever seen. 
'Is this for me?' you glanced over at him, still in awe and shock. He laughed at this lightheartedly, squeezing your hand. It must have taken him hours to prepare all of this, but it was so worth it, you could tell him. The atmosphere brought to the room was fantastical, otherworldly. 
Eddie led you to the centre of the room, where the candles on the ground were positioned in a circular shape, with just enough space for you to stand. 
'You look beautiful, y/n,' Eddie spoke in a hushed whisper. 'Divine. My little lamb.' He pushed the hair out of your face again. Why did it always get in the way? Such a gorgeous face should not be covered up with anything, which is why he was glad you hadn't put on make-up today. You were standing in front of him in your purest form. The white dress accentuated it. 'You know why you're here, don't you?' 
'Because you asked me to?' you spoke, voice shaking for some reason. The fire of the candles flickered on. In the dim light, you could make out some kind of graffiti painted on the walls, strange symbols you did not recognise. 
'Yes, but I meant, why I asked you to come here.' The entire house had been left in its original state, never emptied out after the original owners had… left it. This meant that the old bedroom still had all its furnishings around. The bed was behind you, but you could also see a dresser and an armchair in the corner. Eddie walked up to the dresser and picked something up. Long, thin, the silver reflecting the golden flame light– 
'Eddie?' You wanted to step back at the sight of the sharp knife but remembered the candles positioned all around you. 'What- what are you doing?' 
'It's ok, baby. I'm not going to hurt you,' Eddie smiled kindly. He toyed with the sharp tip of the blade, twirling it against his hand. 'I would never hurt you. You know that, right?' You did know this, so you didn't bother to back away when he came closer. Eyes remained locked, ignoring the fire, the symbols, and the blade. There was just you and him. 'You know that, right?' Eddie repeated his question, to which you nodded. But he needed you to say it and hear your voice.
'Yes.' He only wanted what's best for you, to protect you. But, of course, he would never do you any harm. 
'Good. Really, sweetheart, you don't know how happy I am I found you– you're so– you're just so perfect.' His perfect little lamb. All his. You couldn't tell if the heat burning inside you came from the candles or his words. 'You have always listened so well, always been so good. And you'll keep being good, won't you?' 
'Mhm.' The power of longer words escaped you. Eddie cupped your cheek in his hand, patting it gently.
'Because I really need you to listen and do as I say, baby. This is really important to me.' 
'But-' you pushed the words out, 'what are you doing?' You still couldn't quite make sense of the things around you. But Eddie smiled at your question, as if he had been expecting it, had wanted you to ask. Your hair was poking from behind your ears again, sticking at your cheek, which he brushed off. He could cut it right off with the knife in his hand– he always thought you would look prettier in shorter hair, it would frame your face so nicely–  but it would probably not be appreciated. Maybe one day, if he asked nicely if you would still have him after today.
Of course, you would. 
'We're going to heal the world, sweetheart.' He smiled his big gorgeous smile, but you were too caught up in his words. 'Restore the order of life, make everything wrong right again– you want to help me with that, don't you?' 
'Well, yes, but–' the fire was heating up the room quickly, and you could feel it on your skin. The knife in Eddie's hand kept reflecting the light, making you look at it, but each time you would, Eddie would press his fingers into your cheek so you would find his eyes again. 
'You don't have to be scared; I'm not going to hurt you. I need you to trust me, y/n.' The way your name flowed out of his lips, so smooth and sweet, you felt terrible just for having a thought of doubt ever sour mind. But even if you told yourself not to be scared, he did see that fear in your eyes. It was frustrating to see, because how many times could he comfort you? What would it take for you to understand him? Finally, he moved, turned slightly to the side, and the cold blade hit your arm. It did not cut or hurt, but it made you flinch. 
'Eddie–' your voice was so weak, nothing like he was used to. 
'Can I tell you a story?' He watched you nod your head. ''Humanity is a pest, y/n. We are poisoning our world with this structure and order, depending on these vices as if we were not the ones who had created them in the first place– there is nothing structural about us! We live our days just waiting for them to be over, numbing ourselves and telling lies to make it feel like it means something while it is entirely useless. It is hard to find a pure soul out there, yet… here you are. 
'Me?' you couldn't possibly imagine why you would have anything to do with this. 'I don't understand–'  
'You are at the centre of it all. My sweet sweet little lamb, fresher than fallen snow on a meadow. You are the prime example of what we all could be, a special gift. He sent you to me.' He had been gaining more and more energy and enthusiasm through his speech
'He?' You were starting to feel silly, being able to only respond with more questions and poorly phrased ones at that.
'Vecna,' he breathed out the word in a hush. You had heard him say the name before, but you had never questioned it, figuring it had just been one of the endless characters in his game. Eddie's eyes were bigger than you had ever seen them as he kept on talking passionately. 'He spoke to me, showed me everything. He was the one that made me realise just what a cruel and messed up world this is– and– and I'm not the only one. The people that lived here that died here… You know why they died, don't you? It had all been a part of this plan, you see. A… an offering. They gave their lives subject to a higher power. It was all for a greater cause.
'But they had not meant to die, it all just went so horribly wrong. They didn't know what they were doing, the Creels. But I do! Vecna told me and showed me everything I had to do in order to make this work. I've spent months making sure everything will go right, and you are the key. I need you to do this, y/n. Please.' In the time that you had met Eddie, you had seen a lot of sides to him. You had seen him be happy, sad, angry, tired, hyper, everything between and around it, but this was new. As he spoke to you, he almost seemed desperate. He was shaking with his words, purely out of the need to get his words out, for you to hopefully understand what he was trying to do.
The presence of the cold blade didn't get lost to you anymore, as you could feel it with every breath you took, pressing against your stomach with its flat side. You looked deeply into Eddie's eyes, trying to figure out what his intentions were with it, with you. Surely, he would not actually hurt you? That wasn't him. You could not imagine Eddie, your Eddie, doing such things as your scared mind was conjuring up at the moment. 
'You wanted to help me, didn't you? This would be the most wonderful thing you could ever do for me, y/n. It would be glorious. Just think about it, when it works, the life we will have together. Vecna will show you, help you as well. You just have to let him, let me.' 
Let me guide you, my little lamb. 
Let me help you, my sweetheart. 
Let me use you. 
He needed you. Truly needed you, and only you. You stood there, in your white dress, surrounded by the golden flames of the melting candles, Eddie just far enough not to press his body into yours. As he waited for an answer, maybe bored or nervous, he started tracing the knife over you. The tip of it pinched at your skin, teasing, over your arm up to your collarbone, down your sternum. It had hagged on the strap of the dress, and you had been sure he would have snapped it right off. It would have probably been enough for the whole dress to fall apart. It would pool at your feet, leaving you in nothing but your underwear in front of him. The thought of it should be flooding you with fear, but to your surprise– it excited you. All of it did, in fact. 
'What- what do you need me to do?' You pushed down the lump forming in your throat, but you didn't need much force for it as it dissolved at the sight of Eddie's relieved grin. He kissed the top of your head, the blade in the same hand he brushed your hair with, so you felt the steel at your ear. It made you shiver. You could hear him whisper some more of those little words he always mumbled, still unable to make any sense out of them. Then, he made you leave the circle of candles and walked you to the side of the room, where the symbols were painted onto the wall. It is then that you noticed that the black paint was still wet in spots, freshly applied, but long enough to have already dried up for the most part.
'Give me your hand,' he asked of you, and you eagerly obliged, placing your hand over his palm. But then he pulled that knife up again, and you flinched, which made him visibly upset with a frown. 
'I'm sorry,' you apologised before he had even said anything. 
'I understand, baby, all of this is new, but you have nothing to fear. I'm here, and I've always made sure you're safe, didn't I? Right, so you know you can trust me. Look–' he put up his own hand, flat in front of you, and dragged the sharp knife over the skin, breaking it from the centre of his palm, right to the edge. The blood immediately started to spill out, colouring his pale skin crimson. But what you focused on was how he had not winced, not twitched, barely moved a muscle as the blade penetrated his outer layer. His eyes had been focused on the cut, just to glance up at you momentarily, to ensure you were looking at him. He wiped the knife on his shirt, letting the cut drip out onto the wooden panels of the floor. 'See? It doesn't even hurt.' Then he wiped his hand on his t-shirt, smearing the blood all over it. With the small and shallow cut, it would dry up in a few minutes. There was really nothing to be scared of. Eddie never wanted to hurt you. He just wants what's best for you– what's best for everyone. Just like he had said: restore the world order, make what's wrong right again. 
So, you held your hand out, steady. But as much as you trusted him, you couldn't get yourself to look as he pressed the blade into you. It stung as it moved over your palm. 
'Open your eyes,' Eddie told you. You were greeted with dark red stains on your hand when you did. It was already pooling in the small cup of your manus, dripping between your fingers. It stung as if he had kept on cutting, even though you had heard him put the knife away. It was lying untouched on the set of vintage drawers now. 
Eddie's next words were another request, as he guided your fingers to close in over your palm. 'Squeeze it.' And he pushed your fingers closed. You yelped at the shooting pain that came from it. The indentation splurged for more blood to come out. You saw flashes of white in front of your eyes as Eddie pressed it harder. 
'You see it, don't you?' He asked you eagerly. You nodded, keeping your tears at bay. You didn't want him to see you cry, not when you didn't even mean to. It was just sort of happening. 
Then, Eddie pulled you a step forward, pressing your bloody hand against the wall. This again pulled a wince out of you. It was so sensitive, and he pressed it so hard. He needed the blood to make its mark. He used you like a paintbrush, adding strokes of red over the black, making new symbols out of the already existing ones, finishing what he had started. 
'Look how great this looks. And it could only be you, to make it all work. Only someone as pure and innocent as you has that kind of power.' He had everything prepared in advance, so when he dropped your hand from the wall, he reached for a towel that he had also placed on that dresser earlier. He pressed it into your hand, applying the right kind of pressure this time to hopefully stop the blooding rather than encourage its continuation. He took care of you, just like any other day, showing you that he was still your Eddie after all. There was nothing to be scared of. 
'Is this it?' You looked up at him, the towel still wrapped around your hand. His sympathies peaked through the corners of his lips. 
'Not just yet, baby. There's one more thing, but this we can do together, and I promise you'll enjoy it much more than this.' 
'What is it?' 
'You already started the cleansing process, but we have to show Him that we mean our loyalty, and for that, a sacrifice is needed– just a small one, don't be scared,' he hushed, taking the towel away. 'And don't be nervous. I know you will do well; I made sure of it. That's why we waited. Had to know you would be able to handle it, but you're ready now.' That funny feeling in the pit of your stomach emerged again, covering your body in a flash of heat. It was that frustrating sensation you just could not get rid of that even Eddie could not help you with… but now you were ready. So what the two of you did in his bedroom last Friday… the cycle would be complete. There would be no more torture and pleading for a release. He could bring you to it, finally. 
'You're ready now.' Eddie didn't show it, as he repeated his last words, but he was conflicted about it all. It broke him to see you lose some of that innocence, but it had to be done, and it was an honour that he would be the one to do it. Better him, who understood the value of your purity, rather than some boy who would use you for his own pleasure. In a way, he was doing this to protect you, too. By letting you join him in his venture, he was ensuring safety for you. He would protect you. Vecna will protect you. 
But for this, he actually had to make you his. 
Again, holding your hand, he led you through the room. Avoiding the candles spread out over the floor, he got you to stand next to the bed. Both your hands were sticky with drying blood. The cut still burned when he squeezed at your hand, but neither of you showed any signs of discomfort. 
He wondered if once this was all over, your eyes would still be full of the innocence he was so enamoured by. Would you still look at him with this naive bewilderment, or would he ruin you completely? If so, that would be his sacrifice. He would give up the pleasure of the sight for the sake of the greater good, naturally. 
This would then perhaps be the last time you looked at him this way, so he would have to cherish it to the fullest extent. He let his fingers draw down your face, caressing the soft apples of your cheeks. Finally, his thumb moved over your chin, barely touching your bottom lip. How long he had needed to feel it, touch all of you, but held back. Now he finally could, though. 
Too immersed in his deep brown eyes, you didn't see what was happening around them. You only heard him pull something out of his pocket– material. It was a handkerchief. But not the black skull he would wear often around the school. This one was white, like your dress. However, it was quickly getting tainted by the pink of the last remaining blood that could still transfer from his hands. How you had not noticed it on him before was a bit silly. 
The material was smooth and pleasant to the touch, warm, as Eddie pulled it over your face. The metallic scent of blood wavered over it; no one could tell whether it was his or yours. Eddie tied it behind your head, making sure your eyes were covered, and just like that, you were enveloped in darkness. 
'By taking away one sense,' he whispered into your ear, 'all the others get heightened. It is an experience like no other, to submit yourself to the elements. An honour. Now– ah.' He hadn't even needed to ask you anything, as when his thumb fell over your bottom lip, your mouth immediately parted, like an impulse, to let him enter. He pressed the finger over your tongue and watched you suck on it desperately. This was it—the first touch. Just like that, one simple act had already been enough to corrupt you. 
'Sit down. On your knees. There we go, so good for me.' If he hadn't known better, if he hadn't made sure you never lied to him about what you have or have not done, he wouldn't have assumed you had experience, that you knew exactly what you were doing. That his little lamb was, in fact, just a whore like everyone else. But no, of course, you weren't. He had prepared you for this moment, let out what was only in your nature already. It was the right thing to submit to his touch like this. 
But eventually, after a few seconds, he had to pull his hand away from you. The action came unexpectedly, and you were ready to follow him, even though you couldn't see where he had moved to. You tried your best trying to figure out what was happening, using those other heightened senses to their fullest potential. You could hear the flickering of the flames around you, and the burning smell came with it, which was still not strong enough to cover up the musky scent of Eddie, how the wooden floor dug at your knees, even through the fabric of your dress. And even though you could not see him, you could feel his presence towering over you. 
It didn't matter how much you tried to focus on your surroundings; nothing would have prepared you for Eddie grabbing you by your chin to pull your face up, hollowing your already open mouth into a perfect little O-shape. Next thing you know, you heard a strange noise and felt something wet touch your mouth, spill into it. The sensation made you squirm, no idea what it was that Eddie had just done. You didn't know what to do. 
'C'mon, baby. You know what to do when you have something in your mouth. Swallow.' He shut your mouth with his grip on it, helping you take the spit– because that's what it is, you realised– down your throat. He hummed in satisfaction through your whimpers. 'It's ok, baby. This is all a part of it. Got to get used to each other, it's all bonding.' He wanted to be closer to you, connected, and that idea warmed your heart. The way his hands then brushed over your hair, you nearly mewled into the touch. 
Trying to position him was difficult, as he seemed to walk circles around you, his lips filled with those mysterious words and mumblings again. If you could see now, you would have stared at the ground or the hands you had placed over your lap. His flavour was still in your mouth, and it felt strange, but not in the wrong way.
He had walked another circle around you before stopping at your back. You felt the tension on the dress as he pulled at one of the straps, letting it slide down your shoulder. Then the other. Eddie undid the zipper from behind you as slowly as he had pulled it up the day before in the dressing room. Except for this time, you were not wearing a bra underneath it. It wasn't the kind of dress that would really work with one, you had thought in the morning. It certainly wouldn't look pretty, with the undergarment straps visible, and you wanted to look nice when seeing Eddie… so, that is how you ended up sitting on the floor in this old house, hands on your lap as Eddie pulled the dress off of your top half, revealing your breasts to the hot air.
'So beautiful.' he said, mumbling something under his breath again. 'Absolutely beautiful. He let his hand wander over to your chest, toying with the nipples, taking turns in giving attention to them. To think he was the first person to have the pleasure to touch you like this. To make you arch your back with just a simple pinch– oh, and the sounds that fell from your lips as he pulled at them, he started to feel the constraint of his jeans. Stand up. 
Your legs were already sore from the position you had been sitting in, and they trembled as you got up. The dress fell off your legs, down to the ground as you did. You stepped out of it, accidentally kicking it to the side. A bitter smell erupted from somewhere in the room like the smoke was getting stronger. 
'What is that?'
'Nothing,' Eddie's calm tone had wavered for a moment, or so it seemed his following words were just as smooth and charming as before. 'Nothing you have to worry your pretty little head about. Just, c'mere,' It would have been difficult for you to do that with the blindfold in front of your eyes, but he had reached out with his hands to you.
And then, his lips were on yours. They were chapped as always, feeling a bit rough compared to how soft yours were. He tasted like the cigarettes he smokes when you aren't around, combined with another bitter flavour you couldn't place. It was soo much to take in, your senses all going into overdrive trying to keep up with him. You didn't know what to do with yourself, so you stood still, letting your lips move accordingly to how his did. But he kissed you with such an urgency, such hunger and vigour; you could hardly keep up.
It was messy and left your head spinning, nothing like you had actually expected your first kiss to be, but it was still perfect, as it was with Eddie. 
You were now completely naked, standing in this attic room filled with candles; Eddie was holding on to your sides, kissing your neck. Each time his lips left your skin, it didn't even matter as you could still feel him on you. The trace he left behind was sloppy and needy and seeking out the weak spot on your neck so you could roll your head back in pleasure. All of these feelings were so new to you, so overwhelming, but you understood why Eddie wanted you to wait, why you had to be ready for this… and it was only the beginning. 
Perhaps Eddie got a bit over-excited, for he suddenly picked you up off the ground, hands around your thighs. The suddenness made you scream out. You were utterly disorientated as he took a few stops and then dropped you down onto the bed. It could not have been a drop of more than a foot, but your stomach twisted. The mattress creaked loudly underneath you, but didn't continue as Eddie had not joined you in the bed just yet. So you lay there, waiting for whatever would come next– which was that Eddie had grabbed you by the hand and pulled you across to the head of the bed. A shriek left your lips. It would have been better if he had told you what he would be doing. The constant uncertainty of it all made your brain whirl. 
And then he took your other hand, before you could even say something and gripped both your wrists tightly. 
'Eddie, what–' you felt the cold metal against your skin and the faint clink of something locking. When he released your arms, you wanted to pull them away from what you assumed was the headboard, but you could barely move anymore. 
'Remember those handcuffs that always hang in my room,' Eddie had leaned down beside the bed to be at your level. As you could not see anything, you kept your head straight up, directed at the ceiling. Your breathing got heavier, the constraints confusing you, but Eddie had his reasons. 'It might all get a bit too much for you at a certain point, so this will help you keep grounded. And a physical restraint helps us as a reminder that we should restrict ourselves in indulgences, the things that only break us more. We do not want to get carried away, so this will help, I promise. Just trust me.' He kissed your cheek, which felt wet for some reason. His thumb brushed over the same spot his lips had just met, and then, for a short time that felt like an eternity, there was nothing. Eddie had moved to another part of the room; you could still hear him, walking, shuffling around, mumbling his usual incoherent phrases to himself. You tried to listen to them, finally trying to make out what he was saying, but it was too soft of a whisper that ended too close to his mouth. 
'My little lost sheep has finally found her way,' he said when he came back, the weight on the bed shifted, 'I have done my best guiding you towards this point, y/n, have done anything I could to protect you, to make sure you ended up here, where you belong. Now, you have to tell me, make the final decision– do you want this?' 
'Yes.' You wanted him. He had been gone far too long, and you were already missing his touch. The anticipation was building inside you, coming together at your centre, burning with a need for him. You had thought that hunger and thirst that had been torturing you over the past weeks, the one Eddie had told you to ignore, that it had died down after the little help he had given you, but it was all coming back ten times worse. Something in you was eating you alive, and you couldn't lay still anymore, closing your legs, trying to get some kind of friction from the movement of rubbing them together, trying to find an angle at which some kind of relief would come out. 
'Should have brought something to tie those pretty legs down as well. Stop, please.' He placed his hand over your thigh, rubbing circles over it slowly, 'you're gonna hurt yourself, moving like that.' So, you did stop, both the wiggling of your legs and tugging at the cuffs in frustration. His touch on your leg got rougher as he spread your legs wide open, revealing you to him. 
'Yes, there is no doubt about it, sweetheart. You are ready.' He said voice laced with something that you had never really heard before in Eddie– pure lust. So ready, and he touched you. Right there, between your legs, this time with no panties or jeans to keep you apart, you felt his calloused fingers slide right over your slit. He moved his hand up and down, stroking lightly, and with each lap, he would add a bit more pressure, letting his fingers slip past your folds but not entering you quite yet.  
You moaned; you didn't whimper, mewl or giggle. You moaned out his name. He had broken you now. Unsealed you. He was going to make you his. 
His little lamb. 
His fingers started moving faster, slipping inside you now and then, teasing. But you took it all so well, taking anything he gave you with the most gratitude. It was all so new, so much all at once; even a tease of his fingers was enough to make you see stars. He broke your barrier, broke you; there was no going back now that his fingers were deep inside you. Each time shooting up sparks through your body, letting you revel in it. You pulled at the handcuffs again, not because you needed to get out of them, but because you felt the urge to react somehow, and this was the only thing you could do. Hands tied up in the metal, legs spread out, and hips pushed down by Eddie's grip, you were stuck in a prison of delectation.  
As his fingers continued making you feel ecstatic, he kissed your thighs over and over again. A sweet and haste peppering of his lips at your sensitive skin, hot and needy for both of you. When he pulled his fingers away from you, you could hear a smacking sound, followed by a hum. 
'You know what you taste like, sweetheart?' 
'No?' you could not say that had ever been something you thought about, but now that he had subjected the question, you were eager to find out. 
'You taste like the sweetest nectar,' he kissed your stomach, 'Perfect and pure.' He could not get enough of your authenticity, your unadulterated and untouched body. It still hurt him to think that it would not last much longer, this vestal beauty and glow that seemed to radiate off you, but something so much better would come. Just you wait and see… 
Eddie started repeating his little phrases anew as the kisses continued, and, this time, you could hear his mumbled words more clearly, each syllable emphasised with a breath of hot air against your core. The exact meaning of the words might have escaped you, but it did not stop them from sounding like what it was. A prayer, a blessing, finished with his sigh of "Hail Lord Vecna" in almost a whisper, before delving between your legs and kissing you there passionately. 
The scream had not meant to come out, as the only thing you felt was a foreign pleasure. It was just a heavy shock to the system. Never before had you felt something like that. 
Eddie's tongue pressed deeper into you, dipping at your sweetest spot, licking at your arousal. Before this, the handcuffs had not felt much like a nuisance, but you understood it now. All you wanted to do was to grab Eddie by the hair, pull it, show him how good it made you feel– but it could be distracting. It could pull him out of his concentration, ruin his whole plan, everything he had worked so hard on. 
Yes, he had prepared, as he knew exactly what he was doing, reaching your desired spots, kissing you in a way you never expected a kiss to feel. You were glad he didn't tell you to keep quiet, because it did not seem to be a possible task. Moans kept leaving your mouth constantly.
'Eddie! Oh my–' your eyes rolled back, hips bucked up, which Eddie quickly pushed back down. But, to your horror, he pulled away from you entirely, and if you could see him, you would have seen his eyes, now almost as dark as a starless night, stare at you. 
'It's not me you should be thanking,' he kissed your pelvis before whispering another "hail Lord Vecna". 
'Hail Lord Vecna,' you repeated after him, but much breathier. 
'Yes, good, sweetheart. Say it again, Louder. He will be so happy to hear your voice say his name.' he encouraged. 
'Hail Lord Vecna,' you dared to say it, and Eddie supported it with a new kiss toward your clit. Then, with each repeat of the phrase, he extended it and kissed you longer and deeper until he was back to eating you out completely. 
Hail 
Lord 
Vecna
Not long after, the feeling came back, except ten times harder, as if you had already been circling around it for hours. Again, the knot in your stomach tightened. It was coming closer and closer– 
But Eddie pulled away again, at which you mewled out. 
'No, please, please,' you whined, much to his amusement. Eddie started making his way up again, hands on either side of you, leaving kisses all over your body, his metal necklace chain trailing behind until he reached your lips once more. His chin was wet with your juices, and you could taste yourself on him as he kissed you. A flavour that turned your stomach, but Eddie's hands were still on you, kneading and squeezing at thighs and hips, and then he pulled the blindfold off of you. It was dimly dark in the room, but you still had to get used to the light of the candles. Most of them had already started burning out. 
Eddie hovered above you, the white handkerchief in his mouth before he spat it out next to you. His hair fell down his face, the tips tickling at your collarbone and neck. All you wanted to do was to brush your hair through it, but you couldn't move your arms more than an inch away from the ornate headboard. 
'Eddie,' you whimpered, tugging at the handcuffs again. He just smiled and leaned in to kiss you again. That's when you noticed he had also taken off his clothes. You were both naked, piled on top of each other, in the most intimate and compromising position a person could find themselves in. 
Your heart was beating faster and faster, pushing against your chest, drumming in your ears. This was it. This is what everything had been leading up to. The moment Eddie had been preparing you for. The climax of his plan. 
He kissed you once more, tenderly.
'This might hurt, baby, but it should. It will be a good pain. The best feeling you've ever felt, so don't be scared, ok? It's all going to be ok.' He spoke with his eyes locked on yours; you were dazed and confused, unsure what he was talking about. You had already felt so good, couldn't possibly imagine something that would feel even better. 
But then the pain did come. There where his fingers, and his tongue, had been, and now you felt something stretch you out on the inside. Eddie pushed inside you, ripping you open, stretching you out. 
'Eddie!' You tugged at the handcuffs, but they didn't budge just like before. 
'Shh, this is good. It will be over soon. Trust me. Just trust me,' he repeated as he moved his hips. Moving out of you, but the pain didn't stop. Not when he pushed back into you or when he moved back out. With every thrust, it seemed to get worse, harsher and rougher, the pain not ceasing to stop but instead shooting up your spine. Soon, the tears started to roll down your cheeks again. 
'It's ok, it's all alright,' Eddie whispered, kissing your nose, but he let the tears roll this time, dropping down your ears into your hair and onto the mattress. Just another sign of your loss and what you were willing to give him. How good you were, so willing to give yourself up for the cause. He was so proud, and then your moans returned, and he felt his heart grow twice in size. You looked, sounded, and felt so perfect. 'Yes, that's right. So good. C'mon, baby, doesn't this feel good?' 
'Yes, yes,' you managed to say. The pain had finally receded and slowly turned to the promised pleasure you had been waiting for. The moans were now seeping out of you, body shaking at the force he was taking you with. His lips had made their way down to your breast, kissing at the valley between them, kissing over your pebbled nipples, sucking lightly, stimulating an even higher scream of pleasure from you. He kept on going, hard and fast. 
How right he had been, saying this would be the best feeling you'd ever feel. There was nothing like it than to feel him inside you, stretching you out, hitting at the right places that made your toes curl. He kept this power over you with just his movements, controlling your body with his, giving you so much to respond to. He had prepared, knew what to do to the right reactions out of you, what would please or not, what to do to make it all work. Not much longer now. It was so close, all coming to an end. 
'So beautiful,' his voice was airy but in a lost sense. He was seeking out oxygen as he continued his strikes. Both your breathing started to get heavier; everything was getting hotter and hotter around you. Your stomach tightened, and you remembered what Eddie had told you the first time it happened. 
'Eddie! I- I'm–' what was it that he had called it? You whimpered the words out before it got too much. 'I'm close! Please.' What you were pleading for, you weren't sure. But you had waited so long, so excruciatingly long, you couldn't take it anymore. 
'Wait, baby. Just a bit longer.' He huffed out, his thrusts becoming sloppier. 
'Eddie,' you cried out. How much more could you possibly wait before you would explode? 
'Be good for me. I know you can do it.' You wanted to cry and scream. He had made you wait so long, then said you were ready, just for you to wait even more. When would it finally end? When could you finally gain your euphoric release? 
Was this the sacrifice? This torture he put you under, was it all for the sake of his plan? Would this appeal to Vecna? Your tears and screams as you lost a piece of yourself to him, would that heal the broken part of the world? 
'Hail Lord Vecna,' he grunted with his final juts of the hips. It made your ears ring and your skin rise in goosebumps. And this gravelly coarseness stayed in his voice. 'Come. Come to me.' 
You would follow him anywhere; you knew that. And as he stopped to let his pleasure release into you, you followed right after. Stars were crossing over your shut eyes. You couldn't breathe, move, or do anything but let it all wash over you. A million butterflies fluttered inside you. 
Eddie cursed as he pulled out of you, and you immediately felt empty. It was like a spell had immediately dissolved out of you, and the fatigue took over. 
Just like that, it was over. 
'Here we go,' he breathed out, pulling the chain off his neck, where his guitar pick hung, but now it was also joined by the little key that fits into the handcuff lock. With a click, one cuff opened, then the other, and you were free to let your arms drop to your sides. 
You thought that moving was not an option anymore as you lay in that old bed, staring at the cracks in the wooden ceiling. The muscles in your arms were already souring, only to get even worse by the time the sun would rise again. You'd have to get home, but the idea of just getting up off the mattress was making you tired. Even rolling over to your side to greet Eddie's face was too much at the moment. 
But you could not stay there forever; the candles would burn out entirely soon, shrouding you in darkness and the cold. So, slowly you managed to get up, ignoring how everything seemed to sway around you. Just had to close your eyes for a second. 
You rubbed at your wrists, which were now red and sore from the handcuffs. Eddie had gotten off the bed, too, pulling his shirt over his head as you looked around to see your dress on the floor. The white fabric was covered in red stains. There was no way you could wear this outside now; what would your parents think if they saw the blood?! And maybe, relatively, it wasn't even that big of an amount, but the contrast on the snow white enhanced each drop to an extreme. 
'Eddie,' you gasped, reaching out for the garment, and that is when you noticed the scorch marks underneath. That bitter, smoky smell– it had been your dress burning. You wanted to cry. It was the only thing you had brought with you– your special gift from Eddie nonetheless– and it was now completely destroyed. 'I don't–' 
'Shhh,' he sat back down on the bed, taking your hand in his. The wounds on both of you had stopped bleeding entirely and were closing up, but it still hurt when he dragged his finger along the harsh line. Then, he leaned down and pulled a duffel bag from underneath the bed. It must have been where he had carried everything in. when he opened the bag, you saw a sealed candle, identical to some of the lit, nearly burned up ones around you. But he wasn't pulling the candle out of the bag. Instead, Eddie showed you clothes you recognised all too well. 'I brought these for you in case the dress wouldn't work out after all.' And he handed you the shirt and shorts, both yours, which you had had for years, your favourite until you had lost them, so you thought. Things got misplaced; after all, you could have easily forgotten them once you had been at Eddie's place. 
The fact he had kept them for you and brought them along to this house in case you would need a spare change of clothes… warmed your heart. 
With happy tears threatening to escaper your eyes, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. 
'I'm sorry, Eddie', you mumbled against him, still feeling horrible that his gift to you had been ruined. 
'It's ok, baby. We'll get you a new one.'  He caressed his hand over your back, giving you something to find comfort in. after all, that's all he wanted, for you to be safe and happy. Nothing but the best for his sweet little lamb. Always leading her in the right direction, straying from the dark and the dangerous. 'How about a black, this time? Or a pretty red one?' 
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mimimui · 10 months
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comma after dearest (genshin impact)
wherein (character) reacts a certain way to a grammar mistake you made in your letter (or was it?)
includes: kazuha, ayato, thoma, xiao, zhongli, alhaitham, kaveh, scaramouche
tags: a bit unserious writing, fluff, i am obssessed with "it changed the meaning, did you intend this?" forgive me, not proofread
a/n: not sure if anyone's done this before, but take it as my apology for not having written in a while (╥﹏╥) my fever + colds are killing me & i have a lot of scheduled things to do for school aaaa. maybe i can write this with other fandoms as well ? (and character x character ships hehe) .. enjoy !
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kazuha notices it immediately. aside from all the work with the fleet, he spends time reading—or rereading—your letters. written messages aren't uncommon when he's at sea, but this letter was different. had you made a mistake with your punctuation? no, it can't be, you've always opened your letters with "my dearest kazuha".
he blinked at the words, now seeing a comma between the word 'dearest' and his name. as much as he was confused, he was flustered. if this wasn't a mistake, and that you intentionally called him your dearest, then it's a shame you can't see how absolutely smitten he is for you right now.
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ayato is busy going through papers and folders when he sees an envelope slide under his door. he chuckles as he reads his name in your writing, carefully picking it up and opening it. you have a habit of writing him letters and sliding it under his door while he works, which ayato finds very endearing.
when he reads "my dearest, ayato", his smile only widens more, finding new motivation to finish his assignments for the day so he can get to you as soon as possible. he knows how much effort you put into writing these short, yet loving, letters when he places this one on his (already full of other letters) pinboard.
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thoma takes a while to realize, but when he finally notices it, his heart rate increases by a concerning amount. he loves you so much to the point that when he reads "my dearest, thoma", there's hearts in his eyes. thoma's so much happier after reading your letter, and now he's doing everything smiling.
ayaka told him he looks brighter than usual today, and ayato even asked him if he received good news. of course, he was shy about this, but he told the kamisato siblings it was nothing to worry about. though, he continues to do his work with a little bounce in step.
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xiao denies it. he thinks he's read it wrong at first, but when he looks over at it again, it is confirmed that you did write him as your dearest. forgetting about the rest of the contents of the letter, xiao began to contemplate. an error like that was unlikely, especially since you're fond of writing.
the next time you meet, he has a hard time trying to bring up the topic. he knows you meant what you wrote, but he wants you to confirm it. when you tell him, "yes, i mean it." he tries to hold back a smile. keyword: tries.
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zhongli adores the salutation. or rather, he adores you. he appreciates the sweet, small detail you added in. zhongli hurriedly, yet carefully, writes you a letter back, addressing you as "my dearest, (y/n)" and replying to the contents you had in yours.
he never really indulged in using endearments, but ever since your letter, he's only even been calling you his 'dearest'. when greeting you, when asking for your attention, when talking about you, whenever. zhongli's never said it outloud, but you know he absolutely loves that nickname now.
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alhaitham is amused. he thinks you genuinely made a mistake in your letter, but doesn't address it until he returns to sumeru. when you see him again, he brings it up, expecting to be able to playfully taunt you about it. but he was so wrong.
"but you're my dearest. how is that wrong grammar?" you say, turning the situation around and teasing him instead. alhaitham wanted to tease you so much that he didn't bother to think of other possibilities. he's defeated, and all he can say is, "...i have no reply."
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kaveh doesn't know how to react to it. should he be flustered, or correcting you for the mistake? was it even a mistake? he does write you a letter back, but best believe he immediately asks you about it as soon as he comes back home. "did you intend this?" he says, showing you your letter.
when you nod your head, all the shyness and blush that should've came in before came in now. kaveh uses the folded letter to cover his smile, but it's too wide and too bright to even try to. when you tease him about it, he strongly denies having his heart race from it.
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scaramouche chooses to ignore it. he knows you wrote that punctuation on purpose, but he doesn't want show that he's thinking about it. this ultimately failed when he doesn't write you back, and you knew something was up with him. once he returns and he acts indifferent, you bring it up.
his eyes widen as he looks away, realizing he forgot to reply to that letter. scaramouche hesitates before quietly apologizing, mumbling something about 'my dearest' and 'running out of paper'.
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thanks for reading (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
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🎁🎄Christmas Elf - Lando Norris
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<word count - 2512>
You'd been at McLaren for two weeks, so that meant unfortunately (or not so much) that you were unable to participate in secret santa with them this year. Everyone had gathered in the break room, leaving you at your desk to carry on working. 
You didn't really mind, since it would have been hard for you or whoever got you if you had taken part. As you stared at you screen, you mindlessly fiddled with the charms on your bracelet. No one else was working, so you didn't feel bad that you weren't. 
It would've been nice to celebrate some of the Christmas cheer, but it was fine. "Hey Y/N?" someone called. You looked up, seeing your boss stood in the doorway. "Yeah?"
"Someone left this under the tree for you," he smiled, bringing the small bag and setting it down on your desk. "But my name wasn't pulled?" 
"I know, but someone was feeling the Christmas spirit," he lightly chuckled, disappearing back into the break room. You looked at it for a moment, pulling it closer to you so that you could peer inside. All you could see was a small white box, and you were curious, to say the least. 
Reading the tag attached, it only made you more curious. 'Dear Y/N, I know you weren't included in secret santa this year, but I figured you deserved a gift as well. I saw this, and thought it would fit perfectly with your collection. Merry Christmas, X'
Reaching your hand in, you pulled the box out and placed it in front of you, trying to figure out what it was before you opened it. You gave in pretty quickly, lifting the lid of the box. You couldn't help but smile as you saw the tiny race car charm for your bracelet. 
You failed to notice the pair of eyes watching you as you grinned, holding it between your fingers. It was absolutely lovely, even the tiniest details were perfectly etched onto it. It was like a like-for-like replica of the cars that were in the show room downstairs, and you loved it. 
You quickly clipped it to your bracelet, and it was instantly one of your favourites that you had. As the whole day went by, you found your eyes wandering down to the charm on your wrist, and you couldn't help but smile at it every time. 
You wanted to know who to thank for the overwhelmingly thoughtful gift, since no one had signed off the card, or left any indication as to who they were. Surely it wouldn't be too hard to figure it out, since someone was bound to have seen the gift be put under the tree. 
Throughout the day, you were still being watched by the person, and he felt that the look on your face was absolutely priceless. His note was just a little white lie, as well. Yes, he had wanted you to be included in secret santa, but that was simply a front. 
He would have gotten the charm for you regardless, but the gift giving in the office provided the perfect way for him to secretly gift it to you. He had been brainstorming the present ever since you stepped foot in the office, and it was not something that was on the every day market. He had to use some connections, but the smile of pure joy on your face was worth it. 
Meanwhile, you had been asking around the office, seeing if anyone had seen the gift when they put theirs down. It took a while, but you eventually located the first person who had put their present down. "Hey Jim, are you free for a minute?" you asked, approaching Jim in the breakroom. 
"Sure Y/N, what's up?" he replied, turning to face you. 
"Were you the first person to put down your secret santa gift?"
"No, there was already one under the tree. They must've been in early," he told you.
"Did it happen to look like this?" you asked, placing the bag that your charm was in down on the table in front of him. "Yeah, that was the only thing under the tree when I went,"
"Did you see anyone else around? Do you know who else was there?" you pressed, desperate to know who had bought you the present. "Sorry, I didn't see anyone else. The first person that I saw was Lando, but that was just after one of the meetings downstairs." Jim explained. 
"But there weren't any meetings today, well, none that Lando had to be in," you eyed him skeptically. "That was just what he said,"
"OK, thanks Jim. Merry Christmas," you smiled as you walked away. Why would Lando lie? He must've had his reasons, but you couldn't think of any point in it. He was Lando Norris, if he wanted to be here, then he was allowed to be. 
He was the star of the show in this place, he didn't need a reason to hang around, he just could. Anyway, your search that had lead to Jim had proven fruitless, so you headed back to your desk after your lunch break had been spent on a wild goose chase. 
After finally engrossing yourself in your work, you noticed someone stood in front of your desk. "Hey Lando," you said, without even looking up from your computer. He had probably just come to ask if you could cancel his meetings for tomorrow or something. 
"Hey Y/N, how are you doing?" he smiled, leaning over your desk with his arms propping him up. You found the grin on his face slightly suspicious, but Lando always had a hidden agenda. He was always up to something. 
"Not bad thanks, you?"
"Yeah, I'm good, I'm good." you replied, bring your hand to your face to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.  "Nice bracelet. I like the car, very apt," he said, grabbing your hand to inspect your wrist. His hands were warm, his fingertips gentle on the skin of your wrist.
"Oh yeah, it's really pretty, isn't it? I'm trying to figure out who gave it to me, you have any ideas?" you asked, failing to see the glint of mischief in his eye. You were completely oblivious, and he was thoroughly enjoying it. 
"No, sorry, not a clue. But I'm sure they'll reveal themselves at some point. See you later, good luck on your quest," he grinned, pushing himself away from the desk and walking away from you. 
"Bye Lando," you replied, and he was gone as quickly as he had gotten to you. You found the nature of his visit slightly odd, but you didn't think anything of it. 
The rest of your day was spent without knowing a single thing about the mystery sweetheart who had given you your gift, and you desperately wanted to thank them for their efforts. You'd spend time just staring at it, as if you were hoping it would reveal its previous owner. 
You were still being watched, the person having a smug smirk plastered on his face. He could see the cogs turning in your head, confusion written all over your features. He'd let the scepticism simmer for a while, and then he'd tell you. 
Or maybe not. He'd see. 
--
The next morning, you walked into the office to see your desk was different. The best kind of different. Your computer had a string of multi-coloured Christmas lights draped over the monitor, and there was a mini Christmas tree sat to the side of it. 
It was decorated with mini baubles, and had an adorable little star on the top. On the surface of your desk, fake snow had been sprinkled around and it looked like a small winter wonderland right on your desk. 
Placed on your keyboard was another note: 'Dear Y/N, the whole office is decorated, so I thought that your desk could be too. I hope you like it, X'. You put the note in your desk drawer along with the other, hoping you could use them to find out who had given you the gift and decorated your desk.
"Jim? Did you see?" you called out to Jim, who was sat at his desk, typing away at something.
"It was like that when I got here," he said with a smile, quickly turning his attention back to his computer. Nobody arrived to work before Jim, absolutely nobody. And even if someone had, he surely would have seen them near your desk and mentioned it to you. 
"Nice decorations, Y/N," Lando said, appearing at your side, and scanning his eyes over your desk. "Was it the mystery Christmas elf again?"
"Yeah, and it is so cute. I love it," you beamed, "I don't know who they are, and I need to thank them for this. It's just so lovely," you rambled, your eyes shining with delight. 
"Still not close to figuring it out?" 
"No, my best guess is Jim at the moment, but I don't know," you shook your head, Jim being the only logical person. "Jim?!" Lando spluttered, his eyes widening in shock. Out of all the people in the office, you came to the conclusion it was Jim.
"He's the only one who is here when stuff happens. He was here when my gift was put under the tree, and he was here when my desk was decorated," you explained your conclusion to deciding Jim was your mystery Christmas elf.
"He doesn't seem like the type to me, if I'm being honest," Lando diverted his shock and slight worry away from Jim.
"Why not? You know something I don't, Norris?" you teased, nudging him.
"I, uhm, no. I just don't want you getting the wrong idea, that's all," he said, trying to hide the panic in his voice. He didn't want you to know just yet. He liked seeing you all frazzled, confused, unknowing. He was proud of himself for having pulled it off. 
"Don't worry Lando, I know you would've told me if you knew," you smirked, turning your attention back to the people around the office. Not a single on of them looked like the people who could be your mystery Christmas elf, and you were at a loss. 
"Yeah, I would've," he nodded, but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself of the fact instead of genuinely believing it. "You're coming to the party tonight, right? The end of year thing?" Lando asked, changing the subject. 
"Yeah, yeah, I'll be there," you nodded, looking forward to your first McLaren Christmas party, hopefully, of many. "You coming?"
"I sure will be," he smiled, "I'll see you later,"
--
The festive spirit enveloped the office as twinkling lights adorned the words and tinsel sparkled around every corner. Your first of many annual Christmas parties was now in full swing, and your office suddenly didn't seem so bad as your colleagues filled the air with laughter. 
"Lando, you'll never guess what," you said, leaving out any sort of greeting when you approached Lando after finding him in the middle of the party. He had to do a double take when he saw you, for once the lack of papaya bringing him pure joy. 
He couldn't put a word to your appearance in his mind that quite did it justice, but the closest he could find was perfect. Just... everything about you was simply perfect, and the beaming smile plastered on your face was more dazzling than the star atop the Christmas tree. "What?"
"I got a package in the mail from my Christmas elf the minute I arrived home," you excitedly told him.
"Oh really? What did they send you this time?" he asked, glad the plan had been pulled off to perfection. He was very proud of himself, he had been doing a great job over the past couple of days to get everything that he needed to be done, done. 
"Aren't they the prettiest?" you giggled, pulling your hair back to show off the dangling, golden Christmas tree earrings that had arrived at your door. 
"They really are," he nodded, thoroughly satisfied with the results of his Christmas escapade. While Lando's brain was being smug, you couldn't help but stare at him. Yes, he always looked good, that was a given, but he was looking extra snazzy tonight.
Something about that man in suit just hit different. A very good different indeed.  "This person must really like you then, huh?"
"Yeah, and I'd really like to know who they are," you grinned, wanting to know who this mystery person was. They had brought so much light and joy to you in the past couple days, and you wanted to be able to thank them.
"I mean, decorating your desk, sending stuff in the post, making sure yours was the first gift under the tree. That's dedication," he nodded, hoping you'd take the bait and talk about how amazing he- sorry, I mean your Christmas elf was. 
"How'd you know it was the first under the tree? I never told you it was," you said, the pieces clicking together in your head. 
"Did you not? Huh, lucky guess," Lando nervously chuckled, trying to dig himself out of the suddenly deep hole he had found himself in. 
"You didn't have a meeting yesterday morning, did you Lando?" you pressed, finally settling on the idea that it was indeed not Jim, but Lando Norris himself. 
"No..." 
"So why were you in the office early?" you further poked, wanting to hear it straight from the horse's mouth. 
"To put your present under the tree," he admitted, looking right into your eyes. Surely you wouldn't change your mind on the graciousness of your Christmas elf just because it was Lando, right? He just loved bringing joy to you, and seeing you so happy made him joyous beyond belief. 
With a beaming smile, you couldn't stop yourself as you leant in, closing the distance between the two of you. Time seemed to slow as your lips met, a gentle kiss that carried the spirit of Christmas, the joy of the season, and perhaps the hint of something more. 
Your surrounding co-workers pointed and were shocked, but they didn't find it unusual. Lando had been sneaking around the place a lot recently, and they all clocked on a lot quicker than you did. 
As you pulled away, your eyes were locked together, and you couldn't help but share a knowing smile. Looking to your left, you saw Jim stood there, a mischievous smirk dancing on his lips. Over your heads, he held a sprig of mistletoe. "Really Jim?" you laughed. 
"Merry Christmas," he chuckled back, leaving you and Lando stood there. The party continued around you, but it might as well have just been you and Lando in the room. 
"Thank you, so much," you breathlessly said.
"What else is a Christmas elf for?" he softly chuckled, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. 
"Merry Christmas," you smiled, kissing him on the cheek. This was, without a doubt, the best secret santa gift you had ever gotten, and would probably ever get. 
A/N - Merry Christmas part 2! I have so many Christmas ideas, but there is only one joyful season per year, and I have a lot of other stuff that needs writing, so it may be saved until next year... We'll see. Would you guys mind getting Christmas stuff in the middle of the year? Lmk! Requests are open, love you loads 💖
|masterlist|
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fangirl-dot-com · 5 months
Text
Chapter 11 - One Last Time
Welcome, welcome, welcome to the finale of the 2023 season. I thought a lot about possibly making a chapter for the final F1 race, but reader would basically be doing nothing. So enjoy this tear-jerker read! 
ATTENTION: TAG LIST IS CLOSED
Well, here you were. Back for the third and final time. It was bittersweet if anything. You knew you’d probably cry, but you hoped that it wouldn’t be until later. 
A win would be preferable, but you knew how races went. Anything was up for grabs. Christian had bid you goodbye when you left Vegas to head here. You knew that they probably wouldn’t be able to come, since the Formula 1 season was also ending very soon. You’d be fine. Plus, you’d done this multiple times before. Normally, you never invited anyone to come watch you. There really wasn’t anyone you wanted to invite in the first place. 
No family and no friends outside the F1 world. What was the point. But, you were basically driving with your best friend every weekend. He would just have to watch your tail lights though. 
The sprint was already done and you had bagged another win. You hoped to turn this weekend into a grand slam. It wouldn’t be your first one, but it would be the last on in F2. You had gotten pole and you won the initial sprint race. Arthur was behind you the entire time. 
Speaking of Arthur, you didn’t know where he had run off to. You decided on that his family had probably come to watch the end of his first F2 season. It was nice to know that they really cared like that. 
You walked around the paddock with your race suit on your hips and sun glasses on your nose. It wasn’t terribly hot, but the sun was going to do some damage if you stayed outside for too long. You stopped along the gates to sign some thing for fans. Quite a few of them were now wearing Red Bull merch instead of the normal Dams ones. It felt good inside to see that they were now going to be interested in watch your F1 career and not just staying for F2. 
You had to say goodbye after a few moments, and you left with lots of friendship bracelets on your wrists. You were going to have to take them off before you got into the car, but you wanted to keep them on for a bit. 
A couple of reporters stopped you as you made your way back to your garage where your car was sitting. They barely asked any questions, seeming to know that you had to get back. You thanked them for their swiftness and continued down the pit area. Most garages were filled to the brim, but not as much as the ones had in Vegas. There, celebrities seemed to drip from every crevasse. 
As you got closer to the garage, you heard multiple familiar laughs. 
It couldn’t be. 
You hastened your steps and were almost brought to tears by the sight. Max, Christian, Geri, and Mitch were all there by the computer wall, donning Dams merchandise with your number on it. They seemed to be too caught up in their conversation to notice you at first. 
You looked behind you, saw that there was no one, backed up a bit, and launched forward in Max’s direction. You leaped onto his back and squeezed him tight. His shoulders tightened before he heard your laugh. 
“Hi kid,” he said, craning his neck to try to see you. But, you were overcome with lots of emotions and you didn’t want him to see you cry this early, so you just buried your face in his shoulder. Said shoulders moved up and down with another laugh. 
“I’ll wipe my tears on your shirt if you keep laughing at me,” you muttered, trying to threaten the other driver. 
“No you will not.” Max let you hang for a bit. “You know, I think Christian also wants a hug.” 
You raised your head and looked at the gray-haired Brit. You quickly clamored over to Christian and brought him into an even bigger hug. You murmured something to him, but he wasn’t able to pick it up so he just squeezed you tighter. You let go and hugged Geri as well, thanking her for coming. 
You met Mitch with open arms and maybe more tears. You finally finished with all the greetings before you pulled back. 
“Why are you all here? Like, I’m thankful, but isn’t there a race soon that you need to be preparing for?” 
Max and Christian laughed. Max explained, “Kid. It’s your last race, why wouldn’t we come?” 
You really didn’t understand why they wanted to. 
Christian slapped a hand on Max’s shoulder, “And Max here skipped F2 completely and has never seen a race before or the car. Why don’t you tell him about it.” 
Your eyes sparkled. Max wanted to complain and tell you that he did know how an F2 car worked, but the moment he saw your hopefulness, his lips were sealed. He offered his hand and followed as you led him over to your car. The moment you started talking, your hands started flying. Max just nodded along to everything you said while the others were watching the two of you with so much love. 
Vito had been able to enter the garage and was amused at the sight. He walked over to Christian. “Thank you for coming. It means the world to her. Let me pay you back for the early tickets.” 
Christian waved his hand, “There’s no need.” 
Their side of the garage was silent before Vito spoke up again, “You know, this is her first race since 2018 that someone came to watch her.” The adults’ hearts dropped. 
Mitch spoke, “I thought her godfather died in 2020?”
Vito nodded, “He did. But because of his illness and medication, he wasn’t able to come watch her at all. The last race he went to was the middle of her F3 season.” 
It was Geri’s turn to speak, “Surely she has had someone? A friend? Family?” 
The four of them looked at you and Max. Somehow Max had shimmied into your seat and you leaned over, fingers pointing to the various buttons. 
A sigh escaped Vito’s lips, “She was disowned in early 2018.” 
Geri gasped and Christian let out a big sigh. Mitch continued to watch your face light up with glee as you tried to put your helmet on Max’s head. It wasn’t going very well and Max was trying to bat your hands away. She was thinking of how a child so filled with light had been able to go through so much. 
“Please don’t tell her I told you. She wouldn’t want Max to know. She has looked up to him since her karting days, and I know Max wouldn’t, but she wouldn’t want him to look at her differently.” 
You were now helping Max get out of the car. The four watched as Max carefully helped you put your helmet on, his fingers doing the clasp under your chin. He fondly placed his hand on the top and wiggled it. Your hands flew up to stop him. And even though it was muffled by the helmet, your laugh filled the room. 
Christian was about to say something, but the entrance of Arthur and his family stopped him. He could message Vito later to see what exactly you needed. Because he was willing to do anything for you. 
Your head whipped at the sound of Arthur’s laugh and you stumbled over to him. Everyone watched as you did your little pre-race handshake that the two of you insisted on needing. You forgot something very important and you turned back to Max with arms out. 
“How do I look?” Max, and the others, finally got a good look at your race suit. It was different. The regular Dams one had been replaced by the Red Bull navy and familiar logo. You looked at home in the suit. “Arthur has one too. Well, not a RB one.” You pointed to the red clashed boy. 
His suit looked almost identical to the Ferrari one that Charles normally wears. Except the Dams logo was across the front, same as yours. 
“I love it kid. But you couldn’t have told me before? I could have been wearing my regular polo,” Max whined and you shooshed. 
“Max, I hate to tell you, actually I don’t hate it, you need to hear it. You need better clothes.” Max deadpanned at you and Charles’ laugh filled the air. Your helmet clad head turned towards him as well. 
“Oh don’t get me started on you. Next time you’re in Texas, for the love of everything, take you pant legs out of the boots! They go over the boots, hence the name bootcut.” That shut him up, but Arthur started to laugh.
The others joined in too, but were interrupted by the signal that you needed to get into your car. Max quickly hugged you before lighting pushing you towards the vehicle. You climbed over the halo and situated yourself as the mechanics lowered your car to the ground. Mitch was given the opportunity to hand you the steering wheel. You knew she wouldn’t be able to talk you through the race, but you had asked her to do something for you after you crossed the finish line. 
You taxied your car to the P1 spot and waited on the grid. Once the lights went out for the formation lap, you quickly started to warm up your tires. You bobbed and weaved all over the track, Arthur doing the same right behind you. 
You seemed to just glide over the track with how smooth your steering was. You finally arrived back to the starting grid and you braked. The other cars filled up behind you, and you knew this was it. 
Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. 
Go. 
Your foot hit the throttle and off you were. Your reaction time was phenomenal. Max watched as you started to pull away from the others, maximizing the corners. You were flying on the straights. 
It seemed to be going so well for the first half until you hit a kerb and the back of your car went spinning. Your Dams engineer was the first to reach you. By now, two cars had gone past you by the time you got back onto the track. 
“Y/n talk to me.” 
Your voice was rattly as you responded, “I think my left back tire is damaged. Box, box.” You had wanted to go a bit further on your current tires, but it just wasn’t possible. You needed to make one mandatory stop during the race and it would have to be now. 
You finally got to the pit lane and were able to get back out in P5. It wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t horrible. 
Max and Christian were biting their nails, hoping that you’d be able to make a comeback. You were the first to pit and you’d use that to your advantage. On the new tires, you were able to climb back to P2. Using the early strategy, Arthur had pitted almost right behind you and was now in P3. 
The one car in front of you was forced to pit as it neared the 10 minute mark. You could do this, but Arthur was gaining. You pressed the button on the radio. “Gap to Leclerc?” 
“Currently 1.783 seconds but is gaining.” 
You seemed to press the throttle a bit more on the corners. You loved Arthur but he was not going to get any DRS from you and use it against you. The adults in the garage watched at you flew around the corners.
Your strategist clicked the radio, “Easy with the balance.” 
“Please not talking during the corners. I know what I’m doing.” You went around another bend. Five minutes remained. 
Three minutes. 
“Gap to Leclerc is 2.004 seconds.” You jerked your car around a tight curve and almost went over the track limits. 
“No talking in the turns!” 
“Understood.” Max and Christian bit back smiles. That sounded familiar. 
Two minutes. 
One minute. 
Thirty seconds. 
Your car crossed over the finish line with a gap of 5 seconds. Your screams could be heard over the radio as Max and Christian all but jumped into each other’s arms. 
Your voice suddenly filled the air, “Is Mitch there?” 
Your engineer made room for her. “I’m here kid. Want me to do the thing?” 
“Yes please.” 
Max groaned, “Please let it not be Life is a Highway. I’ve been singing that in my sleep with how much she plays it.” 
Mitch pushed play and the voice of Ariana Grande filled the speaker, along with your shaky voice. 
“One last time, I need to be, the one, who takes you home. One more time, I promise after that, I’ll let you go!” You waived at the crowds as you pulled your car into the P1 spot. You stood on your car and raised your fists as you yelled. Your head whipped towards your crew and you immediately made eye contact with two blue eyes. You leaped from the nose and ran to those arms. 
“I did it Max! I won!” Your voice was shaky. Max pulled back from the hug and patted your helmet. 
“I am so proud of you, Kleintje.” (translation : little one)  
You walked down the line, hugging other members of your crew. The last one you hugged was Christian, who barely let you go. 
Turning around you were met with the helmet of your best friend. You looked through his visor and noticed tears in his eyes. You quickly brought him into a hug. 
Your helmets clinked as you met, but you didn’t care. You pulled back at arm’s length and pointed at him. 
“Now that I’m gone, I expect a championship for you next year TurTur.” He laughed hard. 
“How am I supposed to if you’re not here with me?” Your heart may have broken. 
“What are you talking about. I’m always here,” you finger met his heart. The two of you would be ok. Stewards came to get the two of you for weigh ins a to get you to the cool down room. 
Ollie walked in behind you. “There you are Bearman. I thought you forgot about me!” Ollie said nothing as he stomped over and gave you, well, a bear hug. Your ran your fingers through his hair. Pulling back, there were tears in his eyes as well. 
“You both are going to be the death of me. It’s not like I’m actually dying. And besides, you both will need to drive for a team for Free Practices and you’ll be invited to races.” Ollie and Arthur sadly nodded, but new you were right. This wasn’t goodbye. 
Ollie went out first, followed by Arthur. You looked around the room, one last time. You’d miss it for sure, but it was time to move on. 
You walked out with your head held high, flag wrapped around your shoulders. You took off your hat as you listened to your anthem, and then the French one followed. Two different officials handed trophies to Ollie and Arthur. You were too busy watching them smile and celebrate, that you almost missed the person in front of you with your trophy. 
You turned your head and were met with icy blue eyes. You smiled at the familiar face and tears pricked your eyes. 
Max gave you a grin and brought you in for a hug. It had to be quick, but he could tell you needed it. The two of you parted and he gave you the trophy. He stepped back and watched as you lifted it high in the air. 
His heart swelled with pride. Looking around, he noticed that the three of you started to grab your champagne bottles and he quickly left the stage, not wanting to get drenched in the liquid. You hauled the bottle over your shoulder, after you had shaken it some, and started to spray the two boys whom you loved so dearly. 
For the umpteenth time that day, tears littered your face. 
You looked up as the boys continued to splash the sticky drink around you. 
I made it LoLo. For you always. 
But, you were doing it for yourself as well. 
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(just imagine that max is in different clothes)
Bwah! We made it to the end of the 2023 season! I have a personal master list of every chapter I want to write and this work will be over 42 chapters! I just came up with the idea for the very last on (I plan ahead) and lemme tell you, I wanted to cry just thinking about it. I love you all!  
Some usernames do not come up when I try to tag them, so if that happens, I will respond to your comment or DM. If you’d like to be tagged, please comment under the chapter. It helps a lot when they are all in one place.
Tag List : @awekbachira @lightdragonrayne @leilanixx @angsthology @digitalizeduniqueness @topguncultleader @landosgirlxoxo @gods-menace @itsjustkhaos @thefandomswhre @alwaysboredsworld @vellicora @bintuabbas @sam-is-lost @empress-kimiko @assholeinatrenchcoat @kagatinkita @glitterquadricorn @zyonsay @tsukishimawhore @treehouse-mouse @ashy-kit @agent-curt-mega @julesbabey @lydialawrence @stopeatread @claudia5912 @nichmeddar @blueberry64857959 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @leptitlu @alessioayla @badassturtle13 @kaaale @wcnorris @cool-ultra-nerd @hockeyboysarehot @agent-curt-mega @myxticmoon @cmleitora @sam-is-lost @misartymis @boiohboii @alexander-hamilhoe
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kaleldobrev · 6 months
Text
Hard to Believe
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Pairing: Soldier Boy (Ben) x Fem!Reader
Summary: Ben tells you something that you weren’t quite expecting
Word Count: 581
Warnings: Cursing (4x), Ben being pissed about this generation of youth, Cute(?)!Ben
Authors Note: If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡
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As you were sitting on the couch attempting to read as Soldier Boy had the tv just loud enough for you not to be able to concentrate, you couldn’t help but notice out of your peripheral that he was staring at you. It wasn’t a creepy stare, more of like an enamored stare and you honestly couldn’t place why. The Supe had barely said two words to you since you, Hughie, and Butcher brought him back after the incident at Crimson Countess’. Finally semi-annoyed (or maybe it was more curiosity), you shut the book and looked over at him, making eye contact with him briefly before he looked away at the tv in front of him. “Can I help you?” You asked, and he turned to you, taking a sip from the cup he had in his hands.
“No,” he answered all too quickly, and semi-annoyed sounding. “Can I help you?”
You rolled your eyes. “You’re the one that won’t stop staring at me,” you said.
“I’m not staring at you. I have no reason to stare at you,” he said, his tone a little harsh, pissed that you had actually caught him despite it being blatantly obvious.
“If you say so,” you replied, re-opening your book. As soon as you had opened it, the staring started again. “You’re staring,” you said, not looking up from your book.
“How can you even tell?” He asked.
“Something called peripheral vision,” you said, turning the page. “So why are you staring?”
“I’m n—” he began, but that’s when you looked at him, eyebrow raised, not believing a word he was saying. “Fine. I was. Happy?”
“Just curious mostly as to why you won’t stop staring at me,” you stated. “No one’s ever stared at me as long as you have before.” It’s interesting, you wanted to add.
He scoffed. “Hard to believe.”
“And why’s that?” You asked, re-closing your book yet again.
“Cause you’re hot,” he said, no hint of humor in his voice. Shit he was serious, you thought. That’s when he looked over at you, looking dumbfounded at what he had just said to you. “What?”
“You just said I was…hot,” your voice had a hint of hesitation, and it was his turn to raise a brow.
“And?” He asked. “Does that offend you?” Fucking people these days, can’t pay anyone a fucking compliment, he thought.
“No…just…surprised really,” you said. And you were in fact legitimately surprised by Soldier Boy’s comment, as no one had even told you that you were hot before, not even previous significant others.
“Why?” He asked, taking another sip from his cup.
“No one’s…ever called me…hot…before,” you admitted.
“Again, hard to believe,” he said, getting up from his current spot. “No one? No one’s ever called you fucking hot before?” You shook your head. “Not even like…I don’t know….boyfriends?” You shook your head again.
“You’re the first one,” you said, your voice getting lower, slightly embarrassed. You felt your cheeks start to get pink.
He grinned. “Well lucky me.” As he started to walk away, he turned around to face you again. “Expect me calling you hot more. And…other things,” he winked. You wondered what other things he would start calling you now, and you hoped, that when he did in fact call you these things, it would be just when you and him were in the room and not in front of your friends. But knowing him, he’d do it in front of them.
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Tag List: @jackles010378 @mrsjenniferwinchester @syrma-sensei @k-slla @justletmereadfanfic @deans-daydream @zombie-freak @waywardlatina @globetrotter28 If you'd like to be added to a tag list, let me know!
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rogueddie · 4 months
Text
Disabled Steve / Eddie Fics
Important: READ THE TAGS! Also, leave a comment and kudos! These fics are amazing and I love them and I hope y'all do too 🦻
give me a sign
findmeinthewychelm
It was sweet torture the way Steve was pining over him. Robin was sick of listening to him talk about Eddie, but she also hadn’t stopped him yet.
Words : 4,235 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : General Audiences
AO3 : x
what would you trade the pain for (i'm not sure)
Library_of_Gage
Steve doesn't bother anyone with his chronic pain; it's something he'd rather keep to himself. And then it spikes in the Upside Down, in front of Eddie Munson, and Steve slowly starts to learn that, sometimes, sharing what hurts does help.
Words : 8,230 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences
AO3 : x
Our Love is Shown in the Letting Go
Xxbottlecapxx
Steve’s mother comes home and has to deal with the fact that she has no idea who her son is, and maybe never will.
Words : 10,189 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Not Rated
AO3 : x
Who Am I to Say What Any of This Means?
IndigoFudge
Eddie’s eyebrows are raised. He’s speaking deliberately. “My first grade teacher set up a meeting with Wayne and told him she thought I had autism. So Wayne took me to the doctors and it turned out she was right.”
He is still looking at Steve. Oh. Steve’s been staring at him like an idiot for forty seconds instead of acknowledging this important, incredibly personal detail that he has just shared. Steve remembers eye contact––one, two, three––then answers. “That’s cool.”
“Steve,” Eddie says, carefully. “Have you ever been tested? Because I’ve been noticing… When I look at you, I kinda see some signs.”
Words : 7,371 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences
AO3 : x
she'll know me crazy, soothe me daily (better yet, she wouldn't care)
jewishrat420
Eddie doesn’t really cry about this anymore. He’s long since shed his own personal tears of pity, spent enough time mourning a different life. He’s accepted it, for the most part, doesn’t really give a shit about being normal or whatever. No one’s normal.
But this…Eddie’s not used to this. He’s never had someone hold his face in their hands, look him dead in the eyes and say, “Eddie Munson. For better or for worse, and fuck, I know this is worse, I want to know you.”
Words : 3,988 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences
AO3 : x
the beginning of a bad joke
alligator_writes
At the beginning of his rant, lecture, whatever, Hottie stares right at him. He has a really intense stare. Pretty brown eyes set in a prettier face with even prettier hair on top of his head. Eddie gets distracted by all that pretty and by trying to make his point.
And he doesn’t notice until halfway through that Hottie isn’t looking at him anymore. He’s looking at his friend.
Eddie looks at her, too. Looks at her confused and focused expression. Looks at her hands moving rapidly.
Oh. G-d.
Hottie’s deaf, isn’t he?
Words : 7,083 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences
AO3 : x
I Took The Good Times, I’ll Take The Bad Times (I Take You Just The Way You Are)
steddieeddie
In 1984, Eddie Munson told Steve he was going to marry him one day laying in the quiet confines of Steve’s room.
In 1985, they broke up. It wasn’t because they wanted to, but because Steve thought they had to. They spent almost an entire year apart, hurting, wondering about what could have been.
In 1986, Steve Harrington was almost fatally injured in the final attack against The Upside Down, against Vecna. He spent seventy six days comatose, and then almost an entire year in the hospital learning how to be a person again. He learns how to open and close his hands, hold things, and how to feed himself again. Steve learns how to stand, how to walk, going from walker to cane by the time he is allowed to go home.
In 1987, he did just that. He goes home.
It was a slow process. Way slower than Steve wanted it to be, but it was worth it.
Sure, his hands were never going to work the same, there was constant pain in his arms and left leg, and he would never walk without a cane, but at least he’s alive.
He made it.
That was what mattered.
Words : 30,101 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Mature
AO3 : x
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howtofightwrite · 6 months
Note
Was reading through your torture tag and noticed a lot of stuff that was being said seemed to contradict things that were said on the scripttorture blog... do you have any suggestions on how to clear things up? Im not sure which things to trust
And you're asking us, because they've posted once in the last two years?
I'll admit, I have a fairly low opinion of them, and that's not directly their fault. For years, one of their fans, would regularly send some pretty incendiary asks our way. In fact, some of the less hostile ones were answered, and may be the posts you were looking at. Understandably, the ones simply accusing us of being torture apologists, demanding we redirect all our asks to their blog, or insisted that we should sit down and shut up, did not make the cut. With that in mind, please understand, I'm not going to go digging through their blog to refresh my memory, so some of this might be slightly skewed by the aforementioned deranged fan.
Look for the blog that does not constantly contradict or misrepresent their authoritative sources. Which is to say, if you actually pay attention to Shane O'Mara's work, it's basically what we've been saying all along.
If you're unfamiliar, O'Mara is a Neurologist who was (last I time I checked) working at Trinity College Dublin. He published a, frankly fascinating piece, called, Why Torture Doesn't Work, in which, he set about trying to answer why torture is an ineffective tool for intelligence gathering. O'Mara also had the misfortune of being the only expert who said anything close to the perspective Scripttorture wanted on torture.
An open secret about torture is that it is completely worthless for getting accurate information. This has been widely understood for centuries, if not millennia. O'Mara's question was, “why?”
It turns out, that the neurochemical trauma associated with torture, seriously interferes with your ability to accurately access information. For example: If you're being tortured, you can't tell your torturer where you planted the ticking bomb, because your brain literally can't access those memories.
Torture is evil. Yeah. No shit.
And, this is where ScriptTorture stops. “Torture is bad,” and Jack Bauer is an incredibly unrealistic fantasy, end of story.
Except, this is not the end of this.
Now, generally speaking, I don't blame anyone who wants to get off the ride here. Torture is an unpleasant subject, and wanting to stop at, “oh, it's evil,” is entirely reasonable... unless you want to write on the subject, or if you do political analysis and need to understand why people break out the torture implements.
More than that, this is where my academic background in political science actually comes into play. I'm not saying this as an Eagle Scout who had a couple overly enthusiastic hand to hand instructors when I was a kid. This is (part of) what I studied in college, and I have kept an eye on it since then.
If torture didn't work, you wouldn't see state-sponsored torture pop up repeatedly throughout history. It would not be one of the favorite tools of dictators and despots. However, because it does, and it is, simply saying, “it doesn't work,” isn't instructive or meaningful because it's clearly untrue. Someone is finding value in this, so it becomes important to understand what they are doing, and why they are doing it.
When you torture someone, the information they provide is basically madlibs of whatever leaked through their brain. They want the pain and stress to stop, and they'll say anything they can to make that happen. That often takes the form of what they think their torturer wants to hear. O'Mara's research does explain why they don't simply cough up the truth.
So, why do it?
Torture is a very labor intensive process. You (as an individual) can't, realistically, torture multiple victims at a time, and it is a very drawn out process. Some elements can be automated, your torturer doesn't need to be present at every moment, but they're going to spend hours, if not days, working on one victim. Worse, this is actually a technical profession. It's not like you can just pull in anyone off the street and get the results you want. (Though, technically, this doesn't seem to be as true, however, amateurs do have a shocking capacity to screw up torture. So, the point remains valid.)
The value of torture has almost nothing to do with the victim. It's about the message it sends to everyone else.
Torture is about mass coercion of the population. When you are the state (meaning, the government), and you torture someone, you are telling your citizens that you are willing to do the same to them, if they oppose you.
State-sponsored torture is specifically a tool to suppress political engagement. It is, quite literally, state-sponsored, domestic terrorism.
This even holds true in cases where the state employs torture to extract confessions from criminal suspects. The message sent into the general population is that dissent of any kind will not be tolerated, and that the state has the willingness and power to turn these tools on you if you draw their ire.
I get that this is outside of ScriptTorture's area of expertise, and in fairness, I probably would not have studied this with any intensity, if I hadn't taken multiple classes on revolutionary theory.
Torture from private organizations (which is to say, organized crime, and religious institutions, though cults and some other groups might fit this description as well), follows roughly similar patterns. These tend to do the same things, discouraging dissent, and establishing the organization as having power over the population (or community.) (The technical term would be to “establish capacity.” Which is to say, the organization's capacity to enforce its will. The same term applies to states, though in those cases, the state's capacity is often overestimated by its population. It's only when it starts to falter, for example through military defeats or serious civil unrest, that they really need the capacity boosting part of this equation.)
Zealotry or stupidity can create situations where you have a torturer (or, more likely, someone in a position of power ordering the torture) who believes that it is effectively compelling the truth from the victim. This (or amateurs) can easily lead into a distinct problem, which is that all of this has diminishing returns. Torture one person, and you send a loud, clear message. Torture ten, and all you've added to it is that you're willing to keep going. However, as you start stacking up the victims, you do start sending a new message to your enemies, that being, you're going to get to them sooner or later so it's in their best interest to respond now, mobilize and retaliate proactively, before you get to them. This means that a state which leans heavily on torture can easily instigate the civil unrest that exposes their limited capacity leading to a political death spiral. Alternately, if the state does have the capacity to put down the resulting unrest, it further reinforces their position (which does happen with depressing frequency in the real world.)
You're also going to create new enemies in the friends, family, and loved ones, of the people you tortured. This means that any organization that relies on extensive use of torture will, eventually, start tying a noose around its own neck. (Granted, there are a lot of social dynamics that I'm skimming over here, so it's not exactly as simple as “if the state tortures lots of people, it will result in increasing unrest.”)
If you want a partial citation for the above, you can (ironically) find it in a podcast interview with Shane O'Mara, when he explained why torture has been employed repeatedly through history. (Specifically I think it was episode 15 of Your Welcome, by Michael Malice. Though, I'm not 100% sure off hand.) Though that doesn't cover some of the more in depth elements I just discussed. Some of this is coming from a textbook on revolutionary theory I can't locate (it disappeared in a move a few years back.) Though that was more interested in the general structure of a state destabilizing into internecine conflict. Ironically, my preferred citation on torture, Fear up Harsh by Tony Lagouranis is mostly uninformative in this case, because his experiences were on the ground, rather than from a structural understanding of what his job was really doing. However, he does illustrate my comment about amateurs making even more of a mess, both through personal experiences with a few, and also through the eventual trajectory of the invasion and occupation of Iraq.
But of course, torture is evil... again, no shit. Was that really a question? And, I'm apparently a torture apologist for having a structural understanding of why evil people do evil things. Cool. Evil people don't do evil things because they're evil, they do them because they gain some tangible benefit from those acts, and they do not care about the consequences to anyone else. If you ask someone, “why do people do this?” and their answer is, “it's simple; they're evil,” that person is lying. They may be lying to themselves, but they are lying to you.
Why do people use torture? It's a lot more complicated, and unpleasant, than you'd expect at a simple overview.
-Starke
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multifandomwhore-003 · 7 months
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Random Hazel Callahan headcanons that have been rotting my brain for the past couple of days:
Pairing: Hazel Callahan x female! reader
Summary: Not needed
Genre(s): a little angsty at first, after that's it's just pure fluff
Warnings: mentions of trauma and maladaptive daydreaming
A/N: I'M GONNA WRITE MORE FOR HER BECAUSE I NEED IT SO STAY TUNED, also I listened to False God by Taylor Swift the entire time I wrote this.
Taglist: @aemonds-holy-milk , join tag list here
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• She has horrible listening skills, usually her house has been a pretty noisy and chaotic place, even before her parents divorced, so she's learned to mute the outside world.
• It tends to annoy pretty much everyone else outside the fight club, the only exception being PJ, she perhaps got annoyed more than anyone.
• When you first noticed you had to repeat yourself at least five times whenever she was around, you tried to come up with different ways for her to keep up, like texting her as you spoke so she could read it as much as she needed to.
• Later on you found out it wasn't just about losing track of a conversation, as you asked to borrow one of her headphones one time, you were shocked her ears weren't bleeding right then and there.
"Fucking hell, Hazel! Are you trying to break your ears or something?" your ears hurt for a second.
"It's not loud at all" She placed them on her neck.
"Baby, I can hear the music coming out of those things like a concert speaker,"
• You decided to invite her over to your house as often as possible, demanding a no-headphones rule.
"Why not?!" she complained.
"Because you're gonna be completely deaf at the age of 40!"
"And you'll be there to teach me sign language, right?" she hugged your waist.
"You're saying you prefer not hearing my voice for the rest of our lives?" you lifted a brow.
• The realazation dawned on her.
• To this day she hasn't worn headphones a single day in her life.
• Maladaptive daydreaming is also something she struggles with, not as much now as she used to in middle school and the first two years of high school, but it still happens sometimes.
• You found out when you decided to surprise her by coming to her house one day
• Mrs. Callahan said she couldn't get in contact with Hazel, for whatever reason.
• Most likely her phone turned off since it was out of battery.
• So she texted you she was gonna be missing all night, permitted you to stay the night, and told you to take care of Hazel.
• You found her in the kitchen yelling, it sounded as if she was yelling at someone.
"Are you ever gonna choose me over a booty call?! How is it that Jeff's dick is more important than me?! Your daughter! You fucking pushed me out and you still can't even ask me how my grades are doing and shit!"
• Your first thought was —Her mom's plans must've been canceled—
• As you approached the room as quietly as possible, you looked through the rim of the entrance, there was no one.
"Hazel," you spoke quietly through her screams.
A shiver went down her spine, he face turned white, she blinked a couple of times before turnind her head, "How much of that did you hear?" she avoided your eyes.
"I've never heard you like that," was all you could mutter as you approached her slowly and then embraced her in a hug, "I know you're not insane by the way," you whispered in her hair.
She began to cry.
• She didn't want to talk about it for the next few days
• When she did, she stumbled upon her words, talked too fast, and teared up every once in a sentence.
"Call me first," you cupped her face, "I'll never judge you for whatever you have to say,"
• She wanted to kiss you right then and there, but just rested her forehead on yours, an act of ultimate intimacy.
• I could get into the divorced parents' trauma for hours because same
• But for now I'll move on to the happy part
• Physical touch is the absolute most pure form of love she can give
• If she's not hugging your waist at all times, she's holding your hand, resting her head on your chest, shoulders, legs, etc. pretty much everywhere she can
• If you have long or medium hair she'll attempt to braid your hair, keyword attempt
• If you have short hair she'll buy little elastic ponytails to tie them around your head everywhere she can
• Her reasoning behind this is that her favorite plants are cactuses
• That's it, that's all the reasons she needs
• If you happen to be bald she'll rub your head while singing the chorus to Diamonds by Rihanna
• She plays ukelele
• She knows how to make a few origami figures and if she tries a new one, as crumbled and sweaty as it is she gives it to you
• You have a whole shelf in your room dedicated to every piece of folded paper she's ever done for you
• If you're more of a fem! girl, she'll try something of yours whenever she comes over and stare at her reflection for hours
"Good thing, god didn't make me straight, she knew I would be a menace,"
• You can only roll your eyes and laugh at her twirling and pretending to dance ballet in your dresses and skirts
• If she happens to go shopping without you, she'll try something you'll like and send you the photo after
"If it looks this good on me, imagine how AMAZING it'll look on you,"
• She once asked you to put makeup on her, she'll say she was just curious how she'd look
• She wasn't lying, but she also didn't mention she just wanted to recreate this picture:
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• If you happen to be more of a masc! girl, you'll trade clothes as often as you can think
• More than once you have arrived at school with something she likes and just drags you to the bathroom to for you to make the exchange
• It's not her clothes and your clothes anymore, everything you own is hers and vice versa
• More often than not you're no longer sure what used to be only yours
• This goes for accessories and shoes as well, even if they don't fit her, she'll fill them up with toilet paper until they fit just fine
• You'll match AT LEAST once a week, as per her request of course
• She tries all kinds of chips (or crisps for my British luvs) she has tried every flavor and seasoning, but her favorites and the flaming hot ones, even if she ends up chugging your waterbottle after finishing the bag
• Although her parents are rich and taught her from a young age to be a precise wine taster, she's a tequila and vodka girl
• She hates gloomy and rainy days because they bring down her mood, but spending the day binge-watching cheesy movies and stuffing her stomach with all the snacks o her house makes it up
• She's ABSOLUTE SHIT at Karaoke, but my god does she have the spirit
• Her go-to song is Lies by Fleetwood Mac, but if she's drunk enough to gain confidence she'll request Easy On Me by Adele
•  If she insists for long enough and you decide to sing with her, she 100% will try to recreate the following musical numbers:
• Lay all you love on me -Mamma Mia
• Every duet there is in Teen Beach Movie, her favorite childhood movie
• The cellblock tango -Chicago and Ex-Wives -from Six, if the rest of the fight club joins as well
• Popular from Wicked, strangely enough, she's Glinda
• Seventeen -Heathers
• Candy Store -Heathers featuring Isabel as Heather Mc Namara, Josie as Martha Dunnstock, and PJ as Veronica (She was heavily forced to after Brittany suggested it)
• Smooth Criminal -The Glee cast cover
• If you're a good singer, or at least a decent one, at the end of the song she'll hype you up more than anyone in the crowd, even carry you (this also applies to my plus size! lovelies, DON'T YOU WORRY, she has muscles)
• If you're a bad singer, then you'll be shit together, the worse your voices sound, the better you'll enjoy it
• Onto the kissing and overall more stereotypical relationship stuff, aka the not-so-comfortable part of my asexual-spectrum girlies.
• As previously shown in the original material
• Kissing is slow and passionate, she likes to enjoy your lips as much as possible, taking in every movement, taste, and breath
• Hands on your jaw  and neck EVERY FUCKING TIME
• The first few times you offered her some chapstick or lipstick, or lipgloss, or lip oil, or anything, she would kiss you making you chuckle in surprise
• Now you don't even need to ask, she'll just be like
"Hey, your lips look beautiful," and peck you on the lips
• If you're alone it definitely turns into a whole makeout session
• She just claims it tastes too good not to do it
• Every once in a while she'll hug you from behind and aggressively kiss your cheek
• Good luck kisses before every test
• Her favorite kind of dates are picnic dates
• She takes pictures of the sky whenever she feels it matches your vibe
• She takes A LOT of pictures of you ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, she even went as far as to buy a film camera because they make everything more magical
• She reads A LOT
• She obviously knows too much about social injustices and everything regarding that realm, but she likes other things as well
• Avid fantasy reader, I DON'T MAKE THE RULES,
• Going back to this need for escapism, she was heavily raised by George R.R. Martin and Leigh Bardugo
• Definitely screamed, jumped, and overall looked like she was in a sugar rush when both Game of Thrones and Shadow and Bone came out
• She wasn't exactly allowed to watch Game of Thrones at the time it came out, so she watched when she was 16 instead
• Shadow and Bone, however, oh boy, it was whole event
• She cosplayed Sturmhond and made you cosplay as Zoya
.
.
.
That's it for now children, if I come up with anything else I'll do a part two or even better write something more complete
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urfavoritegirlkisser · 3 months
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"Midnight Rain" II - Rockstar!Ellie Williams x Popstar!Reader
an - wow i did not expect you guys to like this idea so much, if you haven't read part one i would go ahead and read it first before reading this part!! Enjoy!
I don't consent to anyone sharing my work anywhere else, I only post my writing on this tumblr account, do not steal my work
Tags: Fem!popstar!reader, rockstar!Ellie, we're burning slow here my loves, fake dating trope, no outbreak au, angst, slight anxious!reader, Ellie is a little bit of a player and kind of an asshole sorry pookies, lightly proof read, listen to "lucky" by britney spears it literally inspired this entire idea
So apparently you lied to yourself and no one forgot it happened
Two months. It had been two months since you had seen that article and left Ellie’s hotel room, and people couldn’t seem to let it go.
Edits of the two of you filled your for you page, fans brought signs to your shows asking about you and Ellie, and honestly, you were sick of it.
It didn’t help that your management thought it was a great idea because it gained traction for both you and Ellie’s fan bases.
So now you sit in a meeting with Ellie and your managers as they discuss another appearance from the two of you together.
This was your least favorite part of being a pop star, the fame, and your fans were amazing, but most of your choices weren’t your own; they were for the “brand” your management wanted to maintain.
“Sounds good to me” Ellie speaks up, breaking you from your thoughts as you look at her like she has two heads and scoff
“I’m sorry but weren’t you the one telling me that you had your precious reputation to uphold and couldn’t be tied down with anyone?”, you could feel your anger at the situation growing but knew you should keep yourself from completely losing it
“We both benefit from the attention, that’s more important to me than some silly reputation sweetheart,” she says with that infuriating smirk that lets you think for a moment that her words are truthful
“Fine,” you say, “But this is only going to be a thing for a few months, after my tour is over we are over, got it?” 
Your managers go over the agreements and discuss appearances before the both of you sign, basically binding yourselves to each other for the next six months.
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The first appearance was simply Ellie coming to one of your shows
She hangs out with her bandmates Dina and Jesse in the VIP box where they are visible to the fans attending but are secure enough so they don’t get mobbed and can enjoy the show comfortably.
You make sure to direct most lyrics in the more romantic songs on your set list toward Ellie and can tell that your fans are eating it up.
After the show, your manager escorts you backstage where Ellie is waiting, noticing that it’s visible by some fans lingering in the upper levels.
Your manager pushes you toward Ellie and you plaster on a fake smile, running up to her and hugging her tightly.
Ellie kisses your cheek lovingly and it sends a jolt of sadness through you as you look into her eyes, wishing the look of care on her face was real.
“Smile, people are watching” she whispers into your ear while letting her hand slip to your waist and letting the other cup your jaw to tilt your face to hers.
You shake off the creeping feeling of anxiety at so many cameras on the two of you and smile softly, letting Ellie lead you into a quick kiss before parting and being led back to your dressing room by your manager.
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You get back to your hotel that night and scroll mindlessly through your feed of constant videos from tonight, some of you performing, some of Ellie in the VIP box, and plenty of when the two of you met after the show.
You scroll through the comments of fans raving about how happy the two of you look with tears in your eyes
If only they knew
an - I listened to my sad girl hours playlist for this, I hope you enjoyed it!! Now go drink water you girl kissers xoxo
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