#I speak for myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

geeses · 2 years

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girls listen to true crime to make every day chores seem more manageable

#i speak for myself #working out or doing the dishes is easier when im listening about murder

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butchfalin · 5 months

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

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charliebugz · 6 months

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When Izzy first walked out I was worried that he would be made into a joke that the crew would laugh at

but then he started singing and the dancing began and I realized that he wasn’t meant to be a joke at all. This is the most open and happy we’ve ever seen Izzy and the show treated it that way. Not mocking him but instead celebrating this moment.

When we talk about queer representation it’s usually just focused on queer relationships, but what I love about this episode is it shows other sides of being queer. That moment where Izzy saw Wee John doing his makeup and had a realization that he wanted that too? That is what being queer means to me. The crew singing along and cheering for him? That is what being apart of the queer community means to me.

What i love about this show is that it shows queer joy, not in a sanitized way, but in away that is messy, beautiful, and without any mockery or shame.

#the fact i expected him to be made fun of just reflects how queer people are usually presented in media #i was preparing myself for an awkward scene full of secondhand embarrassment for izzy #but then it didn’t happen. And it just made me immediately feel so warm and fuzzy inside.#like he can express the not socially acceptable parts of himself and not be outcast for it #and that’s just so fantastical to me #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #ofmd s2e6 #izzy hands #rambling #i speak!

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casgirl · 9 months

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people cosplaying on public transit are the backbone of our society and i am SO serious. there is no greater omen of good fortune than seeing hatsune miku on the bus.

#seeing people in cosplay on the subway: they look like theyre having so much fun! that's so awesome :) i wonder if theres a con happening?#me in cosplay trying to get to the con: i am so embarassed of myself that if one person even speaks a word to me i will explode

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thevastnessof · 1 year

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obsessed with villains who you just KNOW are aware deep down in their heart that they've done something unforgivable, but the only way to never admit that or face the guilt is to keep doing it over and over again until they don't feel guilty about that first time anymore

#sky speaks #i am contemplating walter white and phillip wittebane #if i never admit it even to myself #then i can go on living like this forever #phillip says as he kills his brother again #as walter white orders the death of another person 'for his family'#and sure they do LIKE the power #but i just knowww it burns sometimes

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chloesimaginationthings · 1 month

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The secret good ending for FNAF ruin,,

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stuckinapril · 4 months

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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

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elnotwoods · 7 months

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can you feel it? the ferality in the air? that’s michael sheen getting ready to be fully unleashed once sag-aftra gets a deal too and he’s allowed to talk about kissing david tennant on the mouth and how aziraphale and crowley are in love

#free this man #he’s been losing it on the internet for a while now #i bet he’s vibrating as we speak #this is from the man that came with hits like ‘slinky hops’ ‘there’s parts of each other in them’ ‘i can see myself in your eyes’#michael sheen #good omens #wga strike #sag aftra #david tennant #good omens season 2

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the-jesus-pill · 10 months

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You’ve got to forgive yourself for being traumatized and needing to learn how to function again.

Recovery isn’t always nightmares and depression, it’s forgetting to eat, being scared of what others might see as completely normal things, it’s getting random panic attacks, not knowing how to take care of yourself, not knowing how to live like an adult, even if you’re twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, of feeling like you’re failing to function in a world where everyone seems to have their shit together.

If you need help, ask for it. Go to forums and ask for advice. Take advantage of community resources. Buy pre-sliced veggies and fruits, eat instant meals if you can’t cook for yourself today. Hire someone. Ask a neighbor for a favor. Buy any item you think might make life easier, even if you feel like you aren’t ‘disabled’ enough to have it.

Some of the depression posts (ie open your windows, take a shower, go outside, call a friend) are really helpful but they’re not always enough. I’ve found advice for spoonies, people with chronic pain or other disabilities have the best tips because they know what it’s like to be bedridden, out of energy, stuck in a brain fog.

You may never return back to the energy you had when you were younger and you might always need to use crutches to help you through life. It’s the same with medication.

Trauma is a real thing that happens to you, it physically alters your brain and it’s alright to have lasting scars.

You’re not broken, your life is not over and you can still be happy.

It’s not your fault.

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catastrxblues · 11 months

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i love ao3 but tumblr fanfics just hit different 😩😩

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disco-asphodel · 5 months

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realtalk but when i see dudes on steam or ppl on tumblr talking about how disco elysium made them feel pathetic and uncomfortable i just. i don’t know. i cannot relate to that at all. disco elysium is about an alcoholic amnesiac poet in love with a dying city who loves him back. if i had never been an alcoholic, if i had never been suicidally depressed, maybe i would think the world of disco elysium is a bleak one. but when you know what it’s like to go through that darkness and come out of it again? to fall back in love with a world that almost destroyed you? disco elysium is the most hopeful story imaginable. it sees the world for what it is and holds nothing back, none of the horror, none of the wonder, none of the love…

something about art comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable i dunno

#disco elysium #harry du bois #cw suicide mention #i can only speak for myself ofc. but it’s one of the most hopeful stories i ever experienced #its like literature or something!#meta #text #my posts

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obsob · 7 months

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the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

#mine #original #i cannot even begin to explain the anguish. the torment. this drawing has brought me #and i STILL dont like it. i simply cant work on it any longer i cant i cant. i must be rid of it #eating drywall as we speak #you want to know how many weeks ive worked on this. THREE. ALMOST.#you want to know how long my other cat drawings take me ?? 3 days absolute MAX #anyway. begon foul creature etc #i havent left extremely long tags for a long while hello everyone good lord there are many of you #we are going stratford this weekend very exciting #its going to be a little chilly and i want to take my new coat with me but issue its not chilly right now so i cant wear it onto the train #i do not think. i can. stuff it into my suitcase i dont think that will happen #i am sure i will figure it out #also. no longer vegan . eggs have won me over. egg egg egg.#im having to restrain myself SO hard from buying more wool i want a shawl i want a shawl #i want more cute DRESSES why are nice comfy dresses 10000£#i look on vinted and its like dresses for popping your pussy in like not. the vibe im going for thank u #anyway. im going to eat crackers now

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rendevok · 2 months

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“Take my hand” pages 16-18

1 -> 3 - day 4 - swap

#nmweek23 #narumitsu #wrightworth #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #fan art #fan comic #aa #rendevok #says ‘some time later’ bc im laughing at myself and also i said they had been kissing the whole time it took me to get to the next part #hope you liked your 8 month kissing session boys <333 #shoutout to edgeworth! i will be laughing at him via phoenix for the entirety of this comic #speaking of living vicariously i am so sorry for the sappy bullshit i put into their mouths but alas. *I* am a big sap!#this was one of those ones i was like ‘WOULD THEY THO oh wait who cares’ can i get a CHEERS BRO?#i’d like to promise that it gets better but. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)#until next time… [tuxedo masks into the night]

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striveattemptfail · 11 months

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had a conversation about my adhd recently then went to make this lmao

#jercy speaks #actual blogging #meme #memes #shitpost #.god idk how to tag this i just needed to share it lol #adhd #actually adhd #kung-fu panda #.sure i'll tag those lmao #.also i'm sure someone's made this exact joke already i just can't find it so i made it myself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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tubbytarchia · 5 months

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Sorry, last one, swear!! I'll try and finish this by the 10th and then I will leave you all alone. I'm experiencing some long missed joy in creating this, please forgive my impatient excitement

#Just need this to be done already but its not so I just need to share one last bit of it to keep myself motivated. Please understand #Mercy... Thank you for all the support though but I'll express more of that at the end of this #scarian #desert duo #trafficshipping #trafficblr #those pink forest backgrounds are like the only ones I remotely like in this entire animation #but I'll try to redo and improve some of the others before I dare show them to the public eye. My backgrounds suck ass #seriously though wahhh I am so miserable but alas... the joy of creation #sorry for speaking like this is my magnum opus and everyone needs to look at it. I just dont know when I'll ever create smth like this agai #to me this means a lot #too many tags #tubby art

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inkskinned · 7 months

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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

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