#I need to get out of this environment I can’t handle seeing this person anymore

[ugh-yoongi]

hello, friends 🫶🏻

just a psa/personal rant?? not really a rant but

i wanted to talk about a few things, and i think the cleanest and easiest segue is to say: i have left all of my writing networks. it is 100% nothing personal to any of them, i have enjoyed each and every one, but there are a few reasons why.

one, i am not active in any of the discord servers, so there was ✨anxiety✨ about not contributing and feeling obligated.

two (and this is the segue part): obviously these networks have a big reach, and i am feeling more and more anxious about exposing my work to the masses.

it’s a double-edged sword, because i write what i want and what makes me happy, but there is always a part of me that wants feedback and wants other people to see and enjoy it. but it has been tense here lately and the “please do not perceive me” feelings are REAL.

there is just… no nuance anymore. me posting “i don’t think it was a good decision for jungkook to go to qatar” turned into a bunch of anons calling me islamophobic and a bunch of other stuff. me saying it was a bad look for jimin to feature on a song by a r*pist turned into “you can’t have an opinion because you’re a rap line stan.”

i’m most certainly not perfect. i try to do the right thing. but tumblr has turned into a place where you will get bullied off the site if someone does not like you personally and decides you’re the internet’s villain of the day. you are put into situations you cannot win. if you defend yourself, you’re making excuses. if you don’t, you’re guilty and all those things people accused you of being are true.

it is literally this tweet:

this is not a fandom known for being welcoming of discourse, but we have to be able to give others grace. there has to be nuance. like, we are literally stanning bts, who have done and said and written problematic things. we should not excuse intentionally harmful behavior, but we need to be able to have conversations and believe, to a certain extent, that not everyone behaves in malicious ways.

we all fuck up and will continue to do so. i hope your mistakes are handled with grace and you are given the benefit of the doubt, and i hope you extend that grace when others inevitably make mistakes as well.

i am not involved in drama here. i am 31 years old and too old and tired. i just want to write and cry over seokjin and shitpost with my friends.

i’m sure this has all been said before, but: i was offline at the time everything went down with m (shout-out the fucking car accident i got in on my way to pick up my friends from the airport, why did this seemingly happen to everyone??) but they are someone i have interacted with both here and offline, and how all of that played out was fucked up, to say the least. others have explained it far more eloquently than me, but it bears repeating.

so while i love writing and i love sharing my work, there is a part of me that’s anxious every time i post. including this. i will continue to do so and hope that this site becomes warmer and more welcoming, because i see a lot of posts lamenting writers leaving or deactivating, and i just think: “well, yeah.”

enough has been said about interaction and the like/reblog ratio, which is definitely a huge part. it can be demoralizing to spend so much time and effort writing a fic that gets little interaction. but the environment is a big part, too, and i’m hopeful that can change.

(but also—protect your peace, whatever that means for you. unfollow that person. block that tag. you don’t have to engage with everything, especially if it raises your blood pressure. one of the few good things about the internet is that you’re largely able to curate your experience. don’t feel guilty about taking advantage of that.)

i will finish this by saying: i am always open to having conversations so long as they’re in good faith. it is not anyone’s place to police my behavior, but if i ever do or say something that is not cool, you are more than welcome to address it with me. i encourage you to do so. as flor once said: comfort can’t help me grow up.

love u all. pls be nice to one another. 🖤

#filed under: personal ramblings

[d0llyxtears]

My dad gets defensive and angry easily and never admits he’s wrong…. He’s also physically abusive to our dog ( we have tried and tried to get him to stop and he has a bit but he still makes violent gestures and advances towards the dog , we keep the dog away from him as much as possible so to keep the dog safe from him as much as possible) ….. he scares me

I have to walk on eggshells all the time around him

He says things to me , about me that are hurtful… he makes jokes about how I can’t get a job or drive because of my trauma around it ….. he recently made a unalive joke about me

He constantly makes transphobic or NBphobic remarks knowing that I’m nonbinary…. He just says it … he even congratulated my little brother on making fun of a trans girl at his school…. He says thing to my little brother like “ if you ever wear dresses as a boy I’ll beat you “ and stuff like that … he says stuff like that in front of me and he constantly misgenders me … my mom constantly misgenders me to … I’ve tried to correct them but both get defensive about it “ I’ll try it’s just really really hard to remember, I’m really trying it’s just a unnatural way of speaking or ungrammatically correct / I’m sorry I’ll always see you as my daughter… your my daughter “

He gets mad at my disabled mom when she asks him for help with something sometimes…. My mom has been on disability since she was in her twenties and my dad will still ask her “ so when are you going to start working again??”

The first time he heard about my ptsd his reaction was “ it was really that bad ??” Knowing that my brother SA’d me for years …….

He doesn’t understand my anxiety disorders and I’ve tried to tell him that some of the things he says and does triggers either my ptsd or severe anxiety in me and he gets defensive and mad about it … or will guilt trip me saying “ do you think I’m a bad parent/person “ or say “ well then how are you ever going to handle the real world/you need to toughen up /your just being sensitive “

After the most recent incident of my brother trying to SA me again and him knowing how it effected my ability to be touched by men in the family ( after the incident i panicked and told both my parents what happened and told my mom to tell him that I don’t want to be hugged anymore because it triggers me ) liked hugged or any kind of touching like that he still continues to do it .. sometimes even unexpectedly or out of the blue…. He even hugged me two days after it happened and I pushed him away … but he got kinda defensive and tried to pull me back so now I just… kinda deal with it ….

I just always stay silent and deal with it because I’m so afraid of his reaction and how easy he is to anger…..

I constantly feel uncomfortable and unsafe in my house because of my parents ( mostly my dad ) … my mom still has contact and still lets my my brother around me and is kinda unsupportive of me /has transphobic opinions

And my dad is constantly angry and defensive about everything, violent towards our dog , is actively transphobic , toxic towards my mom , says misogynistic things about women/has said horrible things about women who have come out about their abuse , makes jokes about my mental illness and ptsd and still has contact with my brother and still lets him around me

I don’t think I’ll ever heal in this environment… my anxiety and ptsd is constantly being triggered and I can’t do anything about it because I have no where else to go and I can’t function properly by myself …..

I’m not overreacting or being entitled am I ??

I just don’t know what to do and I’m reaching a breaking point by living here…. I feel like my parents don’t love me because it just seems that they put either their own comfort or the family as a whole over my safety and well being

They say the want me to be happy and feel safe yet their actions and words speak differently….

I hope I’m not being over dramatic or anything…. This is just really hurting me

#tw vent #actually traumatized #toxic parents #toxic father #toxic mother #toxic family #family issues #family problems #tw animal abuse #tw sa #tw misgendering #tw ab*se #tw ableism #tw ableist language

[malleux]

U don’t have to answer this if u don’t want to, but can I ask why the server was toxic? U don’t have to go into detail but u seem so chill with everything it’s weird to see you talk about an actual bad experience and talk about how it affected you

TW// suicide mention, death mention, toxic environments

idk it’s a lot and i certainly won’t go into detail because i am still in contact my closest friend, who was there with me, and they definitely had a worse experience than i did with it and the last thing i want to do is trigger or upset them with past things!

but, for me it was mostly emotionally exhausting. i was young, like 16, and joined someone’s server for fun and because i had a lot of influence in the fe3h community at the time, was instantly offered a mod position and then eventually became sole owner. it grew and grew and eventually, i was trying to mod a server of probably about 150 people by myself.

i couldn’t handle it well and had my close friend become an owner with me. strict rules were put down and most people followed them well and were very great, but there were of course a few odd ones out with the emotional maturity of a cucumber. very “oh woe is me, im the worst person in the world i should die” type of manipulative people and if you know me, i don’t stand for that kind of stuff.

minors and adults were allowed to interact in the server on certain terms, while they also had their own private channels for just adults and just minors for those who weren’t comfortable talking to the other. overall, i believe my friend and i owned and modded it quite well, but one rotten apple always ruins the whole bunch and eventually, i just broke. i couldn’t deal with it anymore and left, leaving my friend to own it. i still helped in the background, talking to them and checking up, but eventually they left as well.

we won’t talk about the server with each other, it’s in the past. it brings up bad feelings and bad memories and stressful times. i had to deal with a minor threatening suicide in our server while in the hospital with my grandmother, who was on her deathbed and died several hours later. i hope whoever that minor was is doing okay, and i apologize for banning them from the server, but that is just not appropriate especially after resources were given and help was offered. i hope they are okay.

i don’t get close to people online, i don’t do huge public things. i never thought i’d have nearly 6k on this writing account right now, and it doesn’t feel like i do because i kept my presence very small and stayed apart from the genshin community and while i’m mutuals with many well known writers, i just can’t get myself out there like that anymore. i struggle to trust that i won’t be manipulated again. my words could be vastly interpreted and i could become the bad guy again, like i was over and over and over because i couldn’t serve everyone there the way they wanted. i rarely join servers, because i am often expected to mod despite me turning down the offers.

bad times, but it made me, me and i’ve grown a lot in person and online. don’t trust everyone you meet on the internet, and don’t be afraid to make cuts and boundaries against people who continue to wear you down. i’m chill with everyone and i will always, always, always try to be nice to people. i’m often called rude or a bitch or such, but it is not unkind to be firm in your boundaries. it is not bitchy to keep walls up against strangers who aren’t entitled to your real-life time or worries. do and act how you need to in order to preserve yourself, your health, and your mental state

would i make another server one day? maybe. i love talking to people and i loved the community i had before it went to shit. i just don’t know if i could handle it if what happened there happened again

#long ask #lay speaks #not writing #asks #anons

[sugar-petals]

SuperM as Boyfriends Headcanon

↪ caro’s note. extra long version because i miss ‘em. best boys, they’re all bf material to the moon and back ♡

5k words | bullet points

○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub play, shibari, female reader, grinding, poly mentions, threesomes, face-sitting, femdom & vanilla, smut and fluff

⌈ ten

— motto: they won’t underestimate me for long.

most of your social environment is gonna be confused by ten at the beginning 

and don’t really get what he’s all about

or think he’s like whatever, some random guy in a tank top

acting peculiar

finding him kind of hard to gauge

some of your family and relatives might even think he’s totally unusual and a sneaky fuckboy making you mad 

they seriously wonder what you see in him

down the line that perception has turned by 180 degrees

as it should

ten becomes more irreplaceable, relatable, beautiful, perfect and impressive the more you know him

he’s not as mysterious and impossibly badass as everyone assumes

his personality is very approachable to you 

and you find him interesting in every aspect, looks to hobbies to background to personal habits

and also opinions because ten is a guy who really thinks stuff through

so you gotta be roughly on the same wavelength 

he likes discussing controversial and complicated stuff a lot for sure

being far wiser than his age suggests 

you are the first to share those things with him until the rest of the world catches up to this gem of a person

spending so much time with you

in the most personal way he can

he takes you to see the floating markets in bangkok, you spend the summer in thailand

wakeboarding and playing badminton

his entire family knows you inside out at some point this shit is serious

it’s very important to him to go back to the roots every now and then

and that you have been around his home city as well

getting to enjoy the area and time together eating the most savory delicacies

renting a boat and paddling you around to the important spots, he can explain any question you have

this kissing is gonna be so romantic 

who needs a vacation in venice when you can go to thailand with none other than ten himself as your ferryman let that sink in

except eating durian there he is, the boyfriend who can do anything!

with seemingly no effort

ten does little kind services of love for you throughout the day

he pours you herbal tea, fixes some furniture (he’s surprisingly good at tinkering), comes home from the bakery with your favorite pastry, does the laundry with your favorite fabric softener

he also goes on a huge shopping spree with you monthly because fashion is key in this household and it’s tremendous fun

you giggle when he puts on oversized shirts deliberately to look funny

everyone in the clothing store will think oh man what an adorable pair

ten will model the living hell out of the entire stock

and buy you the cape you really really want as a birthday present

said item turns out to be your favorite couple accessory

because you can sit next to each other on a bench at the river and wear it

what’s not to love about a portable blanket

of course he will take to instagram and make it such a cool thing, photographies of you wearing really cool coats and jackets

mirror bathroom selfies together as well, with a back hug, the classic

and not just for insta

you snuggle a lot generally

ten is always available for affection

and accepts all PDA

he’s a kitty after all, he loves the warmth of your body more than you know

remember how taemin said ten’s hands are always cold, newsflash not anymore since you stuff them into the pocket of your hoodie whenever you can

and hello sir your paws will be nice and cozy on my waist

or hand in hand when you waltz through your apartment

time for dance is a must

oh my god ten is so good at all of this

although say he’s definitely faster into latin than standard genres

tango argentino, he loves flamenco as well

don’t believe me? ten is a diehard rosalía stan!

vamos

so, no-brainer, expect a lot of dancy stuff 

that escalates into wild, passionate fucking

which probably looks like an aggressive form of couple exercises

you poor sore souls

ten’s lil kitty butt is falling apart from all the “i can handle a bigger one!”-level pegging and you have aching legs all over

favorite position? full nelson

if you ask me ten’s ass is probably so carved out by the end of this you could fit lucas and kai in there from head to toe

this is not for the faint of heart

sex with this guy is extra cardio

and if you’re into that a threesome is gonna go down sooner or later

with our girl lisa

there. i said it

miss manoban in those knee-high boots, grinding her thighs between yours and you finishing off on ten’s face? the fucking hottest thing ever i need a moment wow

i don’t have to tell you how orgasmic this is gonna be

steamy sex life with ten very recommended

⌈ kai

— motto: you’re like a precious rose. i’ll protect you forever.

to be straightforward with you

he is in so heavily in demand it’s madness

to give you an idea of the scale

mark is basically occupied by yuta until the end of time 

but kai has an entire idol fanclub on top of all erigoms

those sharp moves did not go unnoticed

he gets an inkigayo sandwich every other day

jesus christ

if rent-a-sexy-bf.com was a thing kai would be the most requested

his phone would be blowing up with contracts like

and you also have to pass kyungsoo’s vibe check

and taemin’s

the road to being kai’s gf is indeed the way of the samurai

i mean honestly: kim jongin is without a doubt the hardest member to get a date with

this has got to be the most selective man of the entire industry or something

if he likes you he REALLY likes you

and he will be the one showing initiative

because he wants to make it clear he isn’t just spending time out of politeness or something

although it’s pretty logical that if kai was unable to reject someone he would no longer be an idol but a harem husband busy every hour of the day

seoul would be able to found its own village 

kai town

where like 70% of the population is pregnant

but since kai wants to keep on dancing obviously and he wants to lend his heart to only one person 

seoul has to settle with a singular nini family house instead of a kai district

where you and the man himself are a full-fledged household basically since kai’s nieces double as actual kids

if you wanna be a young ass ‘mom but not mom with kids’ and be married to kim kai this is it

does he have a thing for milfs or something

that thought just came to my mind

anyway you’re mommy anyway wink wink

fucking til’ dawn until even his muscles hurt

going raw at the gym together

him cooking the most random food with the infamous waffle maker

cuddling with an army of teddy bears surrounding you

walking the dogs with the sexiest dancer alive 

and the sexiness is only the tip of the iceberg 

we know he’s all-round amazing

kai is the king of figuring out ways to chill out with you anywhere anytime

and yes innocent chilling

...unless you’re in the mood for something else

up to you

anyway

sweet innocent chilling for now... with the stunner... just smooching at best things aren’t going raw or anything

on the couch in the kitchen in the car when it’s parked somewhere in nature

kai takes you very seriously and is a great listener

he’s literally so respectful and open-minded i can’t

he will keep your secrets and stand up for you if it’s ever needed

yes he is extremely caring and invested

kai does not tolerate others being shady towards you

if there’s an instance where you are hurt and unable to assert yourself don’t worry. he knows how to confront others with measure but a firm determination.

kai takes a lot of that responsibility but only to the degree where you are comfortable

i think you get what i mean by that

and he is diplomatic instead of plain patronizing

you have a right to be protected. it means he not only treats you well, but also makes sure your well-being isn’t disturbed in any other way outside of the relationships

outside influences aren’t to be underestimated

and since kai is a godly man you encounter a lot of jealousy from others

a matter he will take into his hands since he knows he’s the reason

standing up for you also means saying no 

to these jealous voices so this is an important boundary he has to draw

that all kinds of hellbent people want to get into his pants and take his stage image too literally is not up to you to fix

kai is there for you to enjoy and love not to defend

that’d be exhausting and beside the point 

kai prevents stress and negativity to come to you

i hope i explained this well he doesn’t do this to be bossed up or make you weak it’s because he wants to make life easier for you

guys being protective will be chalked up as chauvinistic these days. often rightfully so 

but what i mean is that kai support you in all regards so you won’t be at a disadvantage or feel terrible about something

⌈ taeyong

— motto: we’ll take good care. enjoy the pleasure.

he’s the type of boyfriend who will ask you about things he missed out on while he was busy

things um from the internet

while mark literally knows that one by heart already taeyong will ask you things like what the wellerman song is

and you thought it would be something nsfw

i got you fooled

did we forget that the man literally watched nct memes on youtube

taeyong is both even more 18+ than you think but also even more innocent than you think it’s complicated

this man is just hard to describe he’s so different, i mean every person is unique but he’s an original it’s the extra mile you know

anyway

sea shanties

bopping to it all day since he just heard it 

singing it while he prepares dinner based on a youtube recipe video as he often does

he’s the most adorable person ever ever ever

asking you why shanties are back in fashion 

(good question, requires a deeper sociocultural analysis i reckon)

planning to remix one for his soundcloud lmao i kid you not

maybe your favorite shanty 

featuring fast-pace rap and all

creating his own previously unknown phrases and shit like that you know him

palazzo rocco lemon detox flashbacks

he’s hilarious i swear

taeyong will produce his own shanties for you can you imagine

as he says: my happiness is your happiness

watch out he will drop a shanty music video with extra krumping moves

taeyong is a never-ending source of pure crack

prepare to laugh a lot like, a lot lot

how can a man who seemingly has such a serious outlook on life and such a bonkers kinda face be so lighthearted

it’s like he’s peter pan or something

especially since he has to manage like over 20 brats in nct his cutesy behavior towards you as his gf will stand out to you

yeah so to be clear we all know he’s the cute one in the relationship

and guess who wears the pants

that’s always you ma’am don’t deny it

or wait 

not for long actually because they come off um physically

but not metaphorically

because who doesn’t wanna sit on his face tbh

your favorite reserved spot

he loves it

taeyong has such a thing for your body it’s ridiculous

mister lee got a sexy mama

and you have such a thing for the gloriousness that is him

but neither of you will not admit it as openly as other people would think

all there is... is being flustered

baekhyun probably has to play some cupid now and then

and give you some ideas

like gifting taeyong plushies and things like that

baekhyun knows what taeyong is all about so the advice is very welcome

but most things you find out for yourself

by being a little braver with him you know

you walking around naked in the apartment or basically fresh out the shower with nothing but a towel

will shake up taeyong so immensely, he will back himself against a wall without you even pinning him there lmao!

jeez he’s so deep into kinky stuff but easily shook anyway

i quote him again: “born to be cute, i dunno!”

you can imagine the overwhelm when you rub yourself against him like it’s nobody’s business

it’s so much fun to give taeyong a regular horny meltdown not gonna lie

this man was grinding his whole body all over the superm stage and now he’s basically freezing up and drooling

how many denied and ruined orgasms he’s gonna get, so much overstimulation all the way  

you’ll lose count of it

and just how wet you’re gonna be

is a thing for the history books

taeyong isn’t such a big deal in nct for no reason god gave him every talent 

so great sex is obviously in his repertoire

i think you’re gonna break some records for most fucks per week

you know... guys like lucas taemin kai and baekhyun spend more time wooing and teasing and flirting

but taeyong gets down to business

one glance is enough

⌈ lucas

— motto: the hottest couple around.

ah, big boy

you really got this man’s attention

doing nothing much at all really

he probably just saw you walking around talking to friends

carrying an impossibly huge veggie burger munching and enjoying yourself after going on a jog

yeah boy that’s how you catch his eye

they say love begins in the stomach and that is the true meaning

or the nose, your food smells really good, lucas is going crazy, he’s seeing stars and shit

anyway

the towering burger isn’t the only thing he wants

lucas cannot get you out of his mind no matter how much he tries to distract himself 

with more good food, movies, games

fooling around with wayv or the superm maknaes, and working out

he’s admittedly... a little himbo head over himbo heels with you the feels got to him

he’s not gonna say it’s a date he’s just gonna invite you just because

to hang out in the kitchen while taeyong cooks and baekhyun comes up with the idea to play twister

imagine lucas with his long arms and legs bending himself all over the place

fighting with kai who almost crashed his shoulders into taemin who avoided the accident quickly

making you lose a round

obviously lucas will hustle until your team wins

mostly because he’s so tall and baekhyun is so small which is a huge advantage when stacking each other over the map

let’s just face it baekhyun only suggested this game to bite everyone’s butts and to see you have skinship with lucas

which is definitely a successful plan of the leader

yukhei is in paradise 

jumping around his room like an oversized bunny after you went home

don’t lie, you fell hard for him as well he’s just such a presence

emotionally, physically

a gentle but persistent giant

he’ll do anything to make your relationship happen once he knows you’re interested

if there’s someone meant to be a boyfriend it’s gotta be him come on

he will cave in after a while and admit he can’t just forget about you 

not gonna lie

your ex is gonna be shaking in his ratty boots

his poor eyes will literally jop from their unexpecting sockets

when he sees lucas hanging out with you

with his shining blonde hair and tall stature, that perfect shapely body, with great fashion on top of that

looking like your guardian angel

man, xuxi really does

pulling you out of your slump that’s been going on for months

and bringing back smiles and a good time he knows how to do that best

and big big hugs of course

you can imagine how soothing and grounded it feels with such huge arms around you

he will make sure that feeling is always there when you need it

because you deserve that treatment

which means he will come over very very often

yeah get ready for how yukhei is a lot more driven than you think just dial and he will be there

underneath the meme surface is someone very determined who really really wants you

yukhei is chaotic good incarnate but in that area he isn’t messing around

his brain is like: “gotta be with her”

on repeat

he must call you, he literally can’t sleep without tying loose ends together as quickly as possible

no second wasted with this guy, even far down the relationship timeline

i really pity your ex 

i mean someone dating any superm member would drive their former partner completely nuts 

but lucas is a special case

he has that kind of look and aura that makes other guys dig themselves into the ground like wiggling worms or cope by fanboying over him

i don’t wanna make this sound like a competition and yet — congrats on your noodly blondie boyfriend alright

⌈ mark

— motto: two nerds in love.

how to explain this. mark is a perfect balance of a lover, a talker, and a shy bean

with a tendency toward bean

and flicking the bean

you know

cutting right to the chase are we

mark is very invested in pleasing you as good as he can

and defeating his awkwardness

because if we know one thing it’s that he always strives to become better and better like he can’t help it

and isn’t afraid of almost biting off more than he can chew

how many subunits is he part of at this point is it gonna be nct hollywood as well god dangit

back to the point mark doesn’t treat relationships and sex as something static which is a good and rare thing

he does his best and always looks for room to improve

while being very nervous, very bilingual, it takes two languages or more to express what he thinks about you let that sink in

that’s very shaky first date sex while being extremely in love with each other

lucky you

and an afterglow where he plays the guitar for you

that’s so nice 

he can play it while laying down and shit

while singing

not rapping, actual full-fledged serenading

we’ve heard how that sounds in the relay cam

are you dating some kind of teenage heartthrob or something huh

mark will make it very clear he’ll stick around, this bad bitch is here to stay

or actually, he’s a good bitch, don’t misunderstand

mark doesn’t have a lot of edgy in him unless rap is concerned

he’s the kinda guy to get lost in IKEA with 

having a good time 

as often as his schedule permits

you really have to make use of your time together 

this man might as well the busiest idol out there

and you are no different because birds of a feather

you’re both mr. and ms. independent 

out and about very often

so meeting up becomes something special during comeback season

or wait mark always has a comeback going on

which is a double-edged sword but something you both know you signed up for 

which is why you spend a lot of time around NCT dream, 127, and SuperM 

sm’s publicity agents have to work extra hard i’m telling you

a dating rumor is the last thing both of you would need

since you befriend several members you gotta stay on the low as well

but hey the rage of jealous people of the public is nothing compared to the force of nature that is yuta nakamoto

who seriously thinks himself threatened and robbed

in case you are feeling possessive as well...

...you might have to fistfight yuta

to be able to be with mark

who is basically property of osaka at this point

yuta is a scorpio that’s just the way it is

unlike taeyong who wishes his rap buddy the best, yuta kinda wants to be mark’s wingman and see him date, live his best life

but also have mark for himself to fawn over and to adore, to be fascinated by

we get it yuta. bisexual struggles. very understandable

you have to promise in person that mark doesn’t forget about the holy gaming nights with yuta 

which is hilarious since that’s not up to you but mark’s memory

bestie, yuta uses everyone as a scapegoat don’t sweat it too much

regardless you put a weekly reminder on the fridge

so the roaring lion yuta would be pacified

he doesn’t want to lose his sweetheart can you blame him

the ultimate but also most risky solution is obviously inviting yuta for movies 

which will be appreciated but also cause a storm

mark will definitely break a sweat when you start a popcorn war or try to prove who hugs mark the best 

caught in the middle of mayhem is mark lee’s specialty what did you expect

this either ends with murder or a chaotic open relationship down the line

yuta really is attached but who wouldn’t be

it could be worse mark has double the love you know 

⌈ baekhyun

— motto: you wanna know why i’m your candy?

baby tell me are you ridin’?

in fair verona where we lay our scene...

that baekhyun always wants to woo you — his way, which proves to be very interesting to say the least — is never hard to miss

putting in effort is mochi default mode 

no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in

he might as well regularly serenade you under your balcony in the backyard just because

probably singing ‘baby we can stay up’ and wiggling his ass in all directions because he’s a dirty boy gone wild

yeah. nowadays romeo is twerking instead of feuding with tybalt

that’s good for him and everyone involved

you in particular because you get some very racy eye candy

you know how baekhyun is

at least nobody’s around seeing him put on an 18+ show like that

your little guy is one unhinged fella

if it starts pouring he will grind up and down the next lantern and belt out ‘singing in the rain’

you bet he can do some actual pole dance

he’s strong and bendy you know

and loves to gyrate his whole bag of bones like... he wants to hit you with all the body rolls

in the rain

what a freaky man

but hey you wanna stay up for sure 

doesn’t take long until you beckon him to come upstairs

where the only way to alleviate him of his wet clothes—

oh well he has those roger rabbit vibes and you can’t be mad at it

he will play off all his hormonal antics

baekhyun is hilarious

and so perverted, he can keep up with your spicy idea of playing patty-cake don’t worry

how do i know you’re an extra nsfw kinda person?

who else would like baekhyun

he says juicy things all the time

and does juicy things

yes. finally a couple on eye level indeed. 

when baekhyun asks are you ridin’ you ask how hard 

bruh

this is gonna be fun

and remember

beside handing you sacks of money

his priority is always to make you smile

i’m kidding about the bags but

baekhyun is so rich it’ll show in your relationship, but he’s more about the interactions with you rather than the lifestyle

baekhyun didn’t hustle for a bentley he hustled to sing and get out of sm alive alright

financial stability: important

luxury: very nice to have, he can make you the presents you want to have and travel a lot together

but smiles: baekhyun priority

because he so badly wants to know you love him and adore him, he sometimes feels so insecure

of course you do

you always reassure him with your reactions

it’s very important to him don’t underestimate it

baekhyun has always been talking about his ideal type in terms of how he can cheer her up

so even the naughtiest sexy time evenings are gonna be filled with all giggles

anyway other than that your pussy will be dripping

because this guy is as horny as all other members of super m combined

and you have your ways of leaving him tongue-tied and wrists-tied

taemin’s impact

superm isn’t short of bondage supplies we all know that

so yeah. shibari baekhyun is gonna happen

since he does pilates imagine what kinda shapes you can bend this lil guy into

and take some pictures

privé is in trouble 

bondage model baekhyun is bursting onto the scene

you might even run a risque blog that features cropped pictures with him

heh — you think people will recognize him by his body?

nope

first: you only upload HD pictures that aren’t whitewashed

baekhyun is basically never photographed like that

second: who expects baekhyun to be featured on a bdsm blog with his girlfriend

and this is the guy that drives you around in his expensive car with his big black shades on 

well what can i say

nothing is the way it seems

⌈ taemin

— motto: i’ll unfold a whole new world for you.

taemin is cocky, he’s sensual, and: a very smiley person as we know

least boring relationship ever

he will prance toward you whenever he can to involve you in cuddles

touch-starved taemin is a thing

kkoong can tell you about it, he needs kisses and embraces so often

might as well pepper him with it no problem

and put him into your oversized sweaters when he eats ice cream on the sofa, watching movies, and you brush his ever-growing hair

he’s smol he’s gonna fit into them don’t worry

and on the other hand he likes a rough and tough girl who thinks of him like a boy toy

who acts tsundere or like his bodyguard

working out almost daily to the point of sweat all over

a gal probably able to pretzel minho lucas and chanyeol into one giant bundle

taemin truly has the taste of a divo

multi-layered as always

so you couldn’t say the relationship is always the same in sentiment, the vibe of the dynamic could be different every day

we love a complex man

what would be volatile to others is actually an advantage up close

because taemin understands every difficult facet of himself and his partner 

even if those facets might be contradictory

or something that’s felt shameful about

he will accept and listen anyway

the same goes for getting what drives you

taemin is like a walking psychology velvet couch with fancy swirls as arm rests

point is he isn’t fooled by the surface of the world

he knows what has to be known

which also means your looks aren’t the part he prioritizes

and not even outward personality and habit is what he’s drawn to

it’s the mentality and values underneath

that’s true compatibility to him and he can feel it

he’s really really smart

and also finds it important that you get along with shinee and superm, that you think they’re nice to be around and vice versa

especially kai as taemin’s absolute bearly bestie. if kai thinks you’re shady and you don’t like kai either

or if you’re permanently super awkward and taemin’s moodmaking doesn’t help

we have a problem

but fair enough

kai and taemin are basically one soul at this point so if taemin likes you jongin does anyway 

bff telepathy

in fact jongin was probably the one introducing you to taemin lmao!

because he knows you go well together instinctively and he is correct

so not to worry then

and it’s good on taemin to think longterm and not see you as a person outside of social interaction y’know

cough cough he thinks about marriage, you might be ms. lee one day

here he goes again taemin is just very mature seeing you as well-rounded in every aspect of life

without letting his dick make the important decisions at the detriment of making this a relationship of two lives not just two bodies only

but obviously don’t assume taemin is no horny devil. we all know he dreams of the freakiest scenarios and fantasies in this whole group

going kinda crazy about the thought of making you cum which he always wants to try with new methods

which occupies his mind more than a big bowl of super spicy noodles which is taemin’s favorite meal so

at the same time taemin junior is definitely the same clingy attention whore as his sparkly owner

limp wrists from all the handjobs on your side

and very swollen lips from giving all that head on his side

this is gonna be interesting

he puts the 6v6 in 69

equals 69v69 am i right

but i’m serious that’s gonna be a lot of oral action

you definitely ask each other about having sex very often, daily if you have the time and find a nice spot

and how on earth do both of you keep your hands off each other sleeping in one bed

taemin is touchy as hell with no shyness, and you squish squeeze and grope this guy like the mochi he is

ah when things go both ways

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.

#super m #super m smut #super m fluff #super m x reader #superm #superm x reader #superm scenario #baekhyun smut #kai smut #lucas smut #mark lee smut #ten smut #taeyong smut #taemin smut #superm fluff #baekhyun x reader #taemin x reader #lucas x reader #kai x reader #mark lee x reader #taeyong x reader #ten x reader

[selkiesbittybonanza]

FREE TO ADOPT - Outcode Ampithere Bittys

Reminder: No permission necessary to adopt these guys! If you’d like one to be part of your family, they’re already there!

Ink - Stamps

Snake: Plains Hognose (Conda Phase)

Venomous?: Very Mild

Wing Span: 1-1.5m (3-5ft)

Standing Height: 40-50 cm (1.8-2 ft)

Length: 1-1.5m (3-5ft)

Bio: Stamps embody creativity and thrive in an environment with other creative people! Inks tend to hyper focus on a project and it’s difficult to ask them to focus on anything else – usually it’s forgotten after a few moments anyway. Inks love to talk to their adopters about the arts and are highly knowledgeable about art history and techniques. The original Ink has no souls however Stamps each have their own souls like any monster or bitty, that means they don’t have to rely on ink vials for their emotions and don’t enter soulless-states. Stamps can be arrogant and mildly narcissistic, like many great artistes they live in their head a lot and let the material world suffer. A nice way of saying that they tend to be messy and forget to pick up after themselves, they’ll appreciate an adopter who will pick up after them.

Error: - Gaffes

Snake: Eastern Hognose

Venomous?: Very Mild

Wing Span: 1-1.5m (3-5ft)

Standing Height: 40-50 cm (1.8-2ft)

Length: 1-1.5m (3-5ft)

Bio: Gaffes embody destruction, but even destruction has it’s place in the world. These bittys can help you edit your work or even clean up your spaces by giving up things you don’t need anymore! Gaffes can be stubborn and dogmatic which can make them difficult to handle emotionally. Physically they also can be difficult to handle since they do not appreciate touch. (They are haphephobic, especially with strangers) All this makes them the most advanced bittys at the shop. To get in their good graces you can give them chocolate and yarn for them to craft with or build their nests out of; blue is their favourite colour. Like Blue Ribbons, Gaffes can crash during while experiencing extreme emotions which can paralyze them for a few minutes and leave them confused once they “boot up” again. Gaffes tend to fight more often with Stamps and Marvels, but deep down I think Gaffes respect each of them.

Dream - Marvels

Snake: Ball Python (Banana Pied morph)

Venomous?: No

Wing Span: 1-1.5m (3-5ft)

Standing Height: 40-50 cm (1.8ft-2)

Length: 1-1.5m (3-5ft)

Bio: Marvels represent positivity and tend to be sunny and optimistic to match. These bittys get along with everyone at the shop, even those that usually dislike people of their personality type. They are often picked first for games and activities and have a natural way of bringing others together and helping them get along. Only Dreads and, sometimes, Gaffes are immune to their sunny outlooks. Dreads in particular find Marvels as manipulative as they are and get mad that others can’t see it. Since Marvels don’t have arms for archery like Dreams do; they prefer Javelin toss using their tails, they can infuse the javelins with their positive magic to do extra damage to enemies with negative energy. Despite them being loved by all, Marvels don’t have the high self-confidence that you may be expecting - they worry often about making the wrong decision and thus creating a bad situation. So I “diagnose” my Marvels (and not Dream) of having some general anxiety disorder – it’s difficult for them to pin down what exactly they worry might be happening, especially when everyone around is willing to follow him so gladly.

Nightmare - Dreads

Snake: Bush Viper

Venomous?: Yes

Wing Span: 1-1.5m (3-5ft)

Standing Height: 40-50 cm (1.8-2ft)

Length: 1-1.5m (3-5ft)

Bio: Dreads embody Negativity, however that doesn’t necessarily make them an evil force. Negativity can protect you by not allowing yourself to be duped by someone with bad intentions or to recognize when a dream or goal isn’t achievable anymore so you can move on to other things. It’s hard to recognize that in ourselves and others, so Dreads have a hard time making friends with other bittys and can seem manipulative or too dark by others. This makes them one of my more advanced bittys in the shop along with Gaffes, Rattlers and Coins. Dreads love to read and will devour any books you give to them, no matter the genre. This makes them knowledgeable in a lot of subjects and good to ask advice for, you just have to decide for yourself how you take it and recognize that often Dreads can be more pessimistic than the average. Dreads tend to pick fights with Marvels, jealous of how easily they make friends and how everyone accepts him. Marvels for their part are sad that the Dreads are in such psychological pain and will got out of their way to include them in activities; which makes them fight even more.  If you think that you can provide these bittys with a good home you’ll be rewarded by a loyal companion who will think up the best office revenge plots ever!

BONUS: Nightmare Pre-Corruption

Same Stats, same Bio, different “skin”

Reminder: No permission necessary to adopt these guys! If you’d like one to be part of your family, they’re already there!

Ink Sans by: @/comyet

Error Sans by: @/loverofpiggies

Nightmare and Dream Sans by: @/jokublog

Art by: @calmchapsart​

Commissioned by me for my two blogs: @sealpointselkie​ and @selkiesbittybonanza​

#bitty bones #bittybones #ampithere bitty #stamp ampithere bitty #gaffe ampithere bitty #marvel ampithere bitty #dread ampithere bitty #adoptable #adoptables #bitty bios #free to adopt #bittys free to adopt #whew #hope it was worth the wait!

[bokutoslittlebird]

At Your Mercy

Day 3 of Birdie’s Bokuto Week

Summary: Being the JNT’s manager has its perks, mainly your income, but you end up finding yourself taking care of some of the members. Atsumu is positive you favorite him over everyone else, which puts a damper in Bokuto’s spirits. Bokuto decides to ask for an extra treat when you visit him at night.

Warnings: toxic work environment, blowjob(s), dubcon/noncon, virginity loss, m. masturbation, manipulation, f. and m. oral receiving, creampie, squirting, bit of aftercare

If you had been told you would be the manager for Japan’s National Team when you were 15, you’d have laughed at the notion. Befriending Hinata was a random occurrence, taking on the roll of manager alongside Yachi in Kiyoko’s last year. You’d have never thought Hinata would fly so high he’s reach the top charts, and you even lost contact with him when he journeyed to Brazil. When he joined the MSBY team, he reached out to you for another manager position. Originally declining, you ended up picking up the job when you found out how much money you’d get just for washing jerseys and filling water bottles.

Division 1 teams don’t usually have managers, so you were a rare sight to see, especially on a team of testosterone filled men playing volleyball. Often you’d hear Hinata bickering with Kageyama during practice matches because you were on MSBY and not the Adlers. It was an easy job, if you could handle the constant harassment from the members. Sakusa and Hinata were nice, even Meian was sweet, but Bokuto and Atsumu did not do well with personal space. Hugs, cheek kisses, high fives, bear hugs that had you spinning around, they did them all. That.. wasn’t so bad, but they loved touching you so much they often didn’t let you go until you asked them to. They were also the ones who would ask what you were doing, who you were seeing, were you interested in them, and more. Without Hinata, it got worse because you didn’t have that comfort and support from a friend.

When they were recruited to the National Team, you were so excited for them. Less time with them, and Hinata would be back in Japan for training. This time, when Hinata asked if you would be a manager for the JNT, you declined. Content with your decision to stay, you were not only pressured by the members of MSBY also on JNT, but the rest of the MSBY team. When the National Coach came to you in person to ask, with Kuroo Tetsurō and Iwaizumi Hajime in tow, you had a feeling he wasn’t taking no for an answer anymore. You reluctantly agreed, but dearly wished you hadn’t.

An entire team of men who do nothing but exercise and play volleyball all day. If they’re off their game, it affects the entire team. When that happens, you’re supposed to help them calm down and maybe help them work through it. Sometimes, Iwaizumi checks them over while you talk to them. But sometimes, all they need is to relieve a bit of stress and your presence on the team gives the coach an easy suggestion. You can say you don’t want to, you could have said no, but he wouldn’t take it. You soon realized the coach wasn’t as great as many thought him to be.

“You wouldn’t want to be the reason we lose, would you? Carrying that guilt on your shoulders, it must be exhausting for someone so young. I can’t change your mind, but I know it would mean a lot to your friends should you decide to help them out.”

You did feel bad. That was the problem. Not only did the guys know you were declining the option to sleep with them, but they also knew that you knew it’d benefit them. The only ones who didn’t make you feel bad about it really were Hinata and Aran. Everyone else practically ignored you, trying to make you feel even guiltier. Hinata cheered you up, telling you over the phone or late at night that he didn’t like the coach for what he was trying to pull, but never did anything about it. Aran outwardly protected you, especially if Atsumu brought up how stressed he was and how there such a “simple way to fix it” and Aran was there to smack him and tell him to drop it. He also didn’t go against the coach, though, knowing that a word against the coach could be the death sentence for their time on the team.

When you finally cracked, you ended up going to Iwaizumi. You just couldn’t bring it up to Hinata, especially since you’ve known him for so long, finding it embarrassing. You explained to Iwaizumi why you declined, and that reason being you were a virgin in almost all aspects of sex. You had given a handjob to an ex-boyfriend years ago, but he was rude, so you broke up with him before you two could go any further. When Iwaizumi understood your reluctance, he gave you a new option. From you, the coach wouldn’t take it, but from Iwaizumi he would agree to it.

With guidance and help from Iwaizumi, you felt a bit more confident when the coach announced to the team members you’d be willing to have some one-on-one time with them after practice. But, he honored yours and Iwaizumi’s wish to keep your virginity, telling them they could only use your mouth and hands as they saw fit. With no surprise, Atsumu was immediately on board with it. Not even waiting until the practice was over, he took a break and brought you into the restroom with him. It was humiliating to get down on your knees in front of him, feeling as though you’d lost, but it was worse when everyone was looking at you two when you returned. Atsumu’s smug grin told them everything.

That was the day things began to change. Hinata and Aran were hesitant, but even they came around, asking for some individual help. But Atsumu ate the shit up, asking for a blowjob once a day if not twice. Sometimes you’d only give him a handjob, but he was good at guilt tripping you, encouraging you to do a little more or give him a little more love. If you weren’t worried of rumors or scandals, you’d have just quit when the option was brought up.

“Another good practice! Your serves are improving Tobio-kun,” Atsumu smiles at the end of his sentence, seemingly genuine in his compliment. Kageyama gives him a look.

“Says the one who will be benched,” he retorts back, starting up a fight. You and Komori sigh, as he sits on the bench next to you. Sakusa, who’s also next to you, crinkles his nose up as his mask moves.

“They’re idiots, the lot of them,” he groans, rolling his eyes. You let out a chuckle, but just shrug.

“Of course they are. Both blockheads with hardly anything but volleyball on their mind,” you reply, standing up from the bench. Another swapping of practice teams, another switching of positions, another refill on water bottles. Any job to get you out of the gym is fine, you’ve decided. Thoughts to yourself can be a bit more free.

Coming back to the gym, you stop outside when you hear Bokuto and Atsumu bickering. “I’m just sayin’, she sure shows me lots of love. Bokkun, she hardly spends time with you!”

“You’re always hoggin’ her!” Bokuto shouts back, then a ball being slammed against the floor is heard.

“Now, now, you both need to calm down,” you hear Aran say. Always the mediator, especially when it comes to Atsumu. “Neither of you have been doing so well today. Maybe resting is in order?”

“No, just tell Tsum-Tsum to leave some for the rest of us. Can’t relieve stress when you’re dragging her into bathrooms and ‘talking’ to her late at night,” Bokuto pouts. Had the conversation been on something else, you’d have giggled at his antics. Instead, you felt sick in the pit of your stomach.

“Bokuto, how about you take an early break?” Coach Hibarida said. A grumble of confirmation was said and you decided to enter the gym, moving back a few steps as you acted like you hadn’t heard anything. With your eyes widening as you saw Bokuto angrily walking in your direction, you went to go ask if he was okay, but was shut down before you could make a peep. “By yourself, Bokuto,” Hibarida continued, making Bokuto’s eyes lose a bit of shine and take on a grumpy expression. Deciding it was best to ignore it, you continued into the gym with the waters in tow.

Usually if any member of the team was alone, then you’d be dragged along with them. This time, Bokuto was completely alone and he’d be stuck like that until practice ended in the evening. With the sun not even close to setting, he was definitely going to go to bed early if he couldn’t practice. Going into the locker room was the first stop, deciding on a quick shower to maybe ease the tension from his muscles. Whenever he’d go into the locker room, though, he’d just get flashbacks of the first time you got on your knees for him.

Then he got pissed again. Remembering how Atsumu seemed so smug about the thing, telling everyone they’d better back off because he was planning on taking the top spot of your favorites.

“She spends most of her time with me, I bet it won’t be long until she’s asking me to touch her a bit more,” Atsumu had boasted.

The look on his face had Bokuto getting riled up again, deciding a hot shower was in order. But once he was under the stream and surrounded by steam, he was fine. The hot water soothed his muscles and the boiling blood in his veins, but it also proved to replace the thoughts in his mind with something better. Instead of thinking about what made him so angry, he thought back to the first time he got you on your knees. It was so wonderful to feel your hands finally around his cock, even if you seemed reluctant and couldn’t stand looking at it for long, turning your gaze up to him.

Remembering the way you looked up at him innocently reminded him of just how innocent you really were. Leaning his back against the cold tiles, he trailed his hand down his body as the water slid down with it. When he wrapped his hand around his cock, he adjusted his fingers to how your mouth felt, how it was so tight around him the first time. You seemed so scared of it, he couldn’t help but recall the memory with fondness. When you finally took most of it in your mouth, you looked up at him through those lashes, wondering if he was enjoying it. With the way you took care of him, giving him one of the best orgasms of his life, he could only wish for more.

As his hand pumped harder, he tightened his fist a bit more, thinking about how hot and wet your cunt would actually feel, wrapping around him. He knew that if he could just get a taste of you, he’d definitely feel better. He’d love to slurp and dive his tongue into your messy cunt, but he finds himself tipping over the edge when he thinks of how you’d look, teary-eyed as he gave you the best orgasm of your life. Coming down from his high, he looks down to see his seed coating his hand, dripping off and down into the drain with the rest of the water.

The water’s gotten colder.

Cutting his shower time there, he dries himself up and decides to go back to his room, filled with fantasies of you and how sweet you’d taste. With those thoughts completely taking over his mind, he’s soon sleeping soundly on the bed.

Given that the entirety of the team doesn’t live nearby, the practice gym is in a large building that has a dining hall, a nurse’s office (recovery station, it’s where Iwaizumi spends most of his day), as well as rooms for the men to dorm in. The rooms themselves are suited for only sleeping and bathing, including a bed and the bathroom with a toilet. Showers were located in the locker room, so usually everyone would wash up when practice was over or after dinner. There were some rooms that had a much nicer bathroom, including a small kitchen area, and those were given to the staff members. That included the coach, Iwaizumi, and you. Kuroo lived nearby and only visited occasionally, so he didn’t room in the building. However, your room was between Iwaizumi’s and Hinata’s, making it one of the safest places to be situated.

After dinner, Coach Hibarida asked if you’d be willing to check on Bokuto and take him his dinner. Fully expecting him to ask you to do so, you agreed and took the still warm food in a takeout container to the room Bokuto was staying in. It was about three rooms down from you, seeing as Sakusa was beside Hinata’s room. Gently knocking on the door, you waited for a response before calling out. Hearing nothing, you decided to test the doorknob and saw it was unlocked. Pushing open the door, you saw Bokuto asleep in the bed. Smiling at the unconscious wing spiker, you move into the room and set the food down on a nearby table.

“Bokuto, can you hear me? Can you wake up for a minute?” To your surprise, he moves, turning towards you and blinking open his eyes. The room was dark, but you turning on the light was probably burning his eyes. “Sorry, I wanted to tell you your dinner was ready, but if you want to sleep I can—”

“No, no! I’m hungry, I’ll eat,” he groggily says, but practically bolts up from the sheets anyways. Clad in nothing but some boxers, you look away as he looks at the food, eating away on his bed. “‘S good!”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, it’s gross,” you chuckle, shaking your head. You turn over the possibility of asking if he’s feeling better, if he wants to talk about earlier, but a part of you doesn’t want to because you’re afraid of how things will go. Bokuto is, well, bigger than average. Ushijima and Sakusa are nothing to sneer at either, as are most of the men who stand over 6 feet, but you still get scared whenever you’re alone with one of them. It won’t take much for them to decide they want more from you.

“Hey, did you hear me?” You suddenly heard, your head snapping up to see not only has Bokuto tossed the empty tray into the trash, but he is now looking at you intensely. “I asked if you were alright,”

“Yeah! Just spacing out, nothing new, you know,” you laugh it off, waving your hands in front of you. Bokuto seems skeptical, but says nothing more. “I was thinking of when you left the gym,” ignoring the bit you overheard, “you seemed so upset, I was wondering if you felt better now,”

“Uh, not really to be completely honest,” he says, rubbing the side of his neck. That sinking feeling in your stomach comes back, eating at your insides. “I took a shower to ease my anger, so now I guess I just feel.. sad? A bit lonely, even?”

“Lo- Lonely?” You parrot back, confused.

“Yeah, well, it might be a bit embarrassing for you, but Atsumu was telling everyone how you’ll probably end up giving your.. innocence to him, since you show him so much favoritism. It just made me feel a bit bad since I don’t really spend much time with you. If you’re not with Atsumu, you’re with someone else,” he practically mumbles, but each bit is loud enough for you to hear it. Bokuto usually uses nicknames for people he’s fond of, so it’s a bit of a shock to hear him say Atsumu’s name fully. A blush covers his cheeks, making the atmosphere seem almost sweet, like he’s confessing to you.

Almost.

“Bokuto, I don’t plan on giving anything to anyone except what I already do. That’s final. I don’t show Atsumu favoritism, it’s more so he’s showing favoritism over me. I can’t say no without feeling guilty, even if I know it’s just because he’s gotten addicted to it,” you explain, looking away from Bokuto as you talk. Fiddling with a loose string in his comforter, you continue on. “If you want to spend more time with me, all you have to do is ask. I’d much prefer spending time with you than Atsumu.” Or anyone else for that matter, but you don’t say those words. You’re here to cheer up Bokuto, even if you know what he’ll ask from you. They always do.

“Then, can you spend some time with me? Right now?” He asks, leaning in closer. He’s so close to your lips, you can feel his breath on your cheeks. Even though you’re not usually kissing the members, it’s not something you’re inexperienced in either. When Bokuto presses his lips to yours, hand behind your head, you don’t pull away. You don’t really do anything, but the main thing is you don’t pull away.

When Bokuto moves his hand from your head, you slide off the bed. Answering his question with that simple action has him hard in his boxers, the sheer size of him easily noticed through the fabric. His hand traces along your chin before letting you go, pulling down his boxers as his cock pops out. You immediately purse your lips as he goes to shimmy his boxers off the rest of the way, a soft thump as they landed on the hardwood floor. Looking up at Bokuto, waiting for his permission, you sat on your knees. When his hand came to rest on the back of your head, his beaming smile directed your way, you knew what came next.

Lying was never your forte, even when it came to yourself. The way you felt sick to your stomach never left you, but you couldn’t deny the arousal building in your core as you licked up Bokuto’s cock, hearing him groan in pleasure above you. A quick glance showed his head was thrown back as he kept one hand on your head, the other fisting the sheets beneath him. Looking away, you kissed the tip as he hissed, sucking on the tip before taking it all in your mouth. Well, what would fit. Your hands had to take care of the rest, rubbing and massaging the skin as your lips wrapped around what they could, tongue licking up the sides. Bobbing your head, you tried to ignore the obscene noises from your mouth, wet and sloppy as you moaned, adding to his own pleasure.

You knew that he was close when both hands came to your head, pushing you down even more until you’re pushed past the limit. Gagging around him, you feel the drool pool around your lips, dripping down his balls as you moves your had to his own pace. When he stops, shoving you down quite far, you screw your eyes shut when salty fluid erupts in your mouth, coating every surface. Attempting to swallow it, you let some beads of cum dribble out of the corner of your lips.

“Do you feel better?” You ask, the sick feeling in your stomach not going away. After a few pants, Bokuto’s hands still haven’t left your head. “Bokuto, are you-” you begin, but look up to see him just staring at you. Words get stuck in your throat as you try to decipher what he’s trying to say.

“I need more, please. I’m still a bit stressed,” he finally gets out, your face completely dropping as he says so. You’ve told them the boundary before and nobody has asked for more, you’ve always thought you wouldn’t have to worry with them.

“Bokuto, I’m not comfortable with that. Please understand. If there’s nothing else-”

“Please! Just a taste! I won’t even enter you I just— I want to feel like you like me, even for a bit,”

“Bokuto, please let me go,” you feel like crying, seeing as Bokuto has a tight grip on your wrist. You’d be unable to rip from his grasp no matter what, you’re completely at his mercy. He doesn’t respond to you, but he doesn’t let you go. You just stare at him, hoping he’ll choose to let you go. A fleeting thought, that is, which is destroyed when you’re forcefully pulled onto the bed. Easily maneuvered under him, Bokuto holds you still as you thrash and try to get him off of you. When you open your mouth to scream, he’s quicker to cover your mouth, shushing you and muffling any words.

“Just a taste, please, I won’t go any further. I just want—” what does he want? He knows what he wants, but he doesn’t want to scare you any more than he already has. If you so much as scream for help, someone is bound to come check on you. He’s aware you’re not treated like you should be, which he can’t say he’s tried to do, but he’s sure you’d warrant attention and help should your mouth scream for it. “It’s not like anybody would come for you. I’m just gonna treat you good and let you go. Just sit back and take it, alright?” He feels bad, especially when your eyes get all glossy, but he’s hit a nerve and you acquiesce, limbs falling limp as you continue to look at him.

He’s gentle, he knows he has to be. Unlike some of the other guys, he actually wanted to treat you right when he had time with you. Gently prying off your pants, he finds his cock twitching when he notices the baby blue panties covering your more sensitive area. He sharply inhales when he notices the wet patch where you pretty cunt is hidden, meaning you enjoyed giving him a blowjob. You look completely disheveled and innocent under him, a look he’s only been able to fantasize about. Once the pants are off, he’s using one finger to hook in the bottom of your panties, pulling the damp fabric away from your skin as you shiver, arms covering your chest as you try to decide where to have your eyes. They flicker to and fro, landing on his face before they leave again, going towards the door and then to the wall. You’re so cute, he can hardly hold himself back.

Getting the panties off of you, he momentarily holds his breath as you’re completely bare before him. Well, the sensitive area of you is bare before him. He could give you one of the best orgasms of your life with his fingers, his tongue, or his cock with it in front of him. He does end up prying your legs apart a bit, seeing as your immediate reaction is to close them. He keeps eye contact with you as he lowers his head, until you’re covering your face and biting on your lip, probably to keep yourself quiet. A part of him regrets telling you to be quiet, especially when he hears the cutest squeak from you when he presses a soft kiss to your folds.

Seeing as you always give his cock a kiss before going down on him, he only felt it was right. When he does a slow lick against you, he finds your body jerking under him. So sensitive, so sweet, he can’t hold himself back from diving into your cunt, wrapping his lips around your little bud and sucking on it. His tongue flicks against the wet skin, gathering bits of your essence on it as he dives it into your little hole. Diving his whole face between your legs, he moves his mouth up and down as he continues to assault your dripping pussy, lapping every bit of it he can as he brings your towards an orgasm.

When he feels your hands thread through his hair, tightening as your mewls are more noticeable, he speeds up the speed of his tongue and lets it flick against your clit while his grip on your thighs tighten. When your back arches and you grip him even more, pulling him closer to you, he gives your cunt one more hard suck before you let out a strangled moan, your own cum filling up his mouth as he eagerly sucks and laps it all up. Even if it was the only liquid he could have for the rest of his life, he’d never complain with how good it tastes to him. It’s not as sweet as sugar, but it’s sweet enough for him to lick any inch of skin he could, hoping to get it all up.

“Are you— Are you satisfied, Bokuto?” You heave out, chest moving with each deep breath you take. Your eyes are completely glossed over and your entire body is hot, flushed from the recent orgasm. Bokuto doesn’t say anything, just licking his lips as he massages your thighs. He continues to look at your pussy, seemingly thinking. “I have to go, now, Bokuto,”

“You’re not in love with Tsum-Tsum, right? You’d much prefer me, right?” He suddenly asks. You’re stunned for a second, but decide to just tell him the truth.

“I’d prefer lots of people over Atsumu. He’s a pervert who I’m not a fan of. I’m not in love with anyone, not even you, Bokuto-san,” you add the honorific, going to show how serious you are. However, it seems he’s taken it differently.

“Does that mean you don’t want anything to do with me? Being so formal, right now? You’re attracted to me, it’s not hard to fall in love, is it?” He starts saying, his body completely locking you in against him and the bed. His hands push up your shirt, finding a bra underneath that seems to annoy him. He pushes it up though, large hands covering your breasts as your own hands grip his arms, acting as though they could push him off. They don’t even distract him, his fingers rolling your nipples between them before he’s letting them go. “I just need a bit more,”

“Bokuto, no, you promised—!” You say, only to get three thick fingers in your mouth. They effectively muffle any protests you have, rubbing against your tongue, while his other hand moves your legs over his, his cock brushing against the inside of your thigh. With the small brush, you start thrashing against, hoping he’ll loosen up so you can get away, but instead he just lowers his body on top of yours, his weight keeping you pinned down enough while he lines himself up with your entrance. “Bokuto, please,” you plea, although you can barely understand your own words with him muffling it.

“I’ve wanted this for so long. I promise I’ll be gentle,” he swears, pushing into you. Automatically you arch your back, legs tightening around him as he pushes in. He also replaces his fingers with his tongue, swallowing any screams or moans you release as he pushes into you. His arms cage you in as he kisses you, hips moving into you slowly. He break the kiss, muttering a “so fucking tight,” before groaning in your ear. “You’re so wet but you’re so tight, fuck,” he curses, giving a few thrusts as he tries to push in even farther.

“It- It hurt, Bokuto, please—”

“It’ll pass, shh,” he hushes, pressing kisses to your lips once more, then trailing his lips down your jaw. “It’ll pass, just bear with it,” he whispers, continuing to press kisses to your skin. “Relax, baby, calm down,” he continues speaking, even as he rocks his cock into your walls. When he seems content with how far he is inside of you, he looks down to see where the two of your are connected and lets out a low moan, rocking his hips a bit. You give him a pleased moan, low and quiet, head turning away from him, making him smile as he pats your thigh.

When you feel him leaning back down, one of your legs bent in the crook of his elbow as he buries his face in your neck, you also feel the breath knocked out of your lungs when he gives a harsh thrust. A gasp escapes you, hands coming to his back as your nails dig into the muscles. When you end up arching your back as he fucks into you, your nails scratch down as he lets out a groan, his teeth pricking your skin as you do. Sloppy, wet noises come from where the two of you are connected, filling the room along with your short moans and his low ones, mixed with groans as his thrusts get harder and faster. Each thrust buries himself even deeper inside of you, wet balls slapping against your ass as you screw your eyes shut once more, feeling a building orgasm coming on.

Before you can let the orgasm go, he stops and you whine, nails trailing up his back until they’re at his neck, him moving his torso up until he’s looking down at you, getting a good look at your face. When his thrusts start up again, he’s smiling down at you, eyes full of fondness and love, making you feel sick as you look down, watching as his cock disappears inside of you with each pump. It’s covered in your juices, translucent strands connecting the two of your together with each time he pulls away from you, making the sloppy noises whenever he pushes back in. Your orgasm washes over you as you watch him fuck into you, his thrusts slowing as your eyes shut, back arching as your body stretches out, toes curling from the force of the orgasm. He picks it up once you’re done, but he’s then moving and adjusting position once more.

With your legs pushed up to your shoulders, your nails are scratching at his neck as strangled moans leave your throat, even though you bite your lip to hold them back. Bokuto fucks into you relentlessly, his orgasm coming closer and closer with each pulse of your pussy wrapped around him. With the change in position, he’s rubbing you in all the right ways that has you seeing stars, eyes rolling in the back of your head when his thumb comes to rub your clit. Aiding in bringing you to a third orgasm, your cunt gushes around him, clear fluid splashing against his abdomen as he lets out a deep groan, burying himself to the hilt in you as you silently scream, his lips covering yours. His hot cum fills your insides, painting them white as he sucks on your tongue, lazily thrusting into you while he gets the rest of your watery orgasm out of you and finishes his own, cock finally going soft as he pulls out of you. The weight of what you’ve done, what he’s done, hits you and you begin tearing up, salty tears beading down your cheeks. Bokuto feels them and licks them up, shushing you as he whispers sweet nothing and gentle words.

With you silently crying on his bed, he decides to take a towel from his bathroom, wetting it and wiping away any of his seed that oozes out of you. Even though he pushes some back into you, a part of him wanting to sink his cock back in, he holds himself back. He knows he’s gone too far, you’ll need time to really process everything, so he just wipes you down and helps you put on your clothes. Even though he really wants to keep your panties for his next fantasy, he slides them up your legs while pressing kisses to the sweaty skin. You don’t say anything, just wiping away tears and snot with your shirt. Once your pants are on, he puts on a pair of sweats laying nearby and picks you up, situating yourself in his arms so he can open the door.

He takes you back to your room, the door already unlocked. With nobody in there, he shuts the door and locks it, setting you down on the bed. You turn away from him, hoping to just sleep but he doesn’t want to leave you quite yet. “Thank you, manager. I love you,” he whispers, giving you a kiss on your head before getting up and leaving. The shutting of the door spurs you into moving, although your movement is slow. Your hips ache, your legs and back are sore, your whole body feels numb, but you manage to get to the door, locking it before sliding down the wooden surface. Curling into a ball, you just stay there and cry.

#BB.Kinky #BB.Dark #haikyuu smut #Mr. Kōtarō #tw.noncon #tw.dubcon #Birdie’s Bokuto Week 2021 #Bokuto Week #Bokuto smut #tw.manipulation #tw.gaslighting #tw.toxic

[thegremlincrowsnest]

Little Lamb

This is my first collab piece and is part of Citrus Dome Server Hybrid AU Collab! Please Please check out all of the other amazing creators apart of this collab! 

CW: Dirty talk, slight creeping from another hybrid, overall NSFW 

You were always warned about the potential dangers of working for a hellhound. How they prey on hybrids like yourself and how you should be on your toes. Who had ever heard of a sheep hybrid working well with a hellhound? But you persisted, accepting the position of personal assistant to one Enji Todoroki. 

You knew it would be challenging, but you were ready, always looking up to the large flame hound with reverence and adore. The first day was an odd one. Arriving early, you made his coffee and had his morning coffee prepared. When he came, you couldn’t help but stare up at him as he walked by; bowing slightly, you say, “Good Morning, Sir. My name is (y/n)-” “I know who you are.” He says curtly. As he looks you up and down, you notice the slight flare of his nostrils. His pupils turn into slits as he leans down to your level to look at you. Leaning close to your neck, he sniffs a few times before standing tall. Your cheeks burn as you worry about how you smell. “Hm...Precious.” He says before he walks into his office. You stand for a second, stunned, before trailing behind him with your clipboard. 

The next few months were...interesting, to say the least. You had always heard and seen on TV how intimidating and standoffish he was but, as you worked with him more, you got to see those soft cracks. He even invited you to join him for mundane things as the months went along. Dinners and lunches became almost routine; your professional and personal lives seemingly bleed together. He became softer to you, and you felt that you could confide in him when things got tough for you. He also became highly protective of you, not as if you needed it. Being able to handle your own in a work environment filled with predator alphas was a skill you learned quickly before working for him. However, you did notice how Enji would growl at younger employees who would flirt with you or place a protective hand around your waist during meetings with other heroes. Especially whenever the no. 2 hero Hawks would come around. The young griffon hybrid had taken a liking to you a while into your employment. Always finding an excuse to follow you around and compliment you endlessly on your physique. 

“Honestly, Enji. How can you work with such a plush and tasty one like that? I’d have them bent over my desk in a heartbeat.” Hawks would tease slightly as he watched you. Enji would growl possessively, telling Hawks to knock it off. “They’re a loyal employee. I’m grateful to have someone as determined as them.” He would say. Pausing a moment to indeed look over your form, eyes lingering on the swell of your hips and thighs. Yearning to know what it would feel like to have his fingers in the softness of your curls, brushing fingers across your cute ears. His eyes finally ended on your tail, wagging excitedly as you wrote down dates and appointments on the large calendar you had insisted on putting up for him. Saying, ‘That way, even if I’m not here, I trust you won’t be totally lost.’ He grunted at the notion but had to hide his blush at the bright and warm smile you gave him. “They are..attractive. But that has no bearing on work ethic Hawks.” He says as he forces his eyes back down to the papers in front of him. 

You walk up to his desk, setting down a few papers before leaning over. “Ok, so this is the plan for the next few weeks. I’ve scheduled a few interviews and appearances and spaced them out, so you have some time to prepare.” You begin as you point to different dates and times. You were wearing a relatively low-cut maroon dress; Enji had mentioned once that the color looked good on you. With your hair pulled back, anyone could get a nice view of your assets. It became clear when Enji glanced over to see Hawks unabashedly staring at your chest. The rage that filled him was something he had never experienced before. Standing up, he gripped Hawks arm, pulling him towards and out the door before closing and locking it. You stopped your explanation, watching, confused as your boss’ flames grew slightly before extinguishing entirely as he walked towards you. “Sir? Is everything ok?” You asked. Enji stood in front of you, looking you up and down before settling on your face. With one hand, he gently pushed a stray lock of curly hair behind your ear. Entranced by how your brown skin shimmered in the light of the setting sun. Cupping your face gently, he brushed the apple of your cheek, smiling softly as you leaned into his hand. You held onto his wrist with your much more petite hands—ears flattening as you looked up at him with a smile. “Y/N…Is it..alright if I kiss you?”, He asks. Your eyes widen as his thumb grazes your lips; you nod quickly, not wanting to wake up from this dream. He leans down, gently pressing his lips against yours. You deepen the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck as you whimper softly. He tastes like hickory and coffee, and your tail shakes excitedly as you feel his hands grip your hips. Pulling back, he stares at your face, eyes half-lidded and soft pants escaping your plump lips. Growling softly, he lifts you up; walking back to his chair, he sits down, placing you on top of his desk. 

“Do you know how many times I have to excuse myself because I can smell how horny you are?” He says as he kisses your neck, fingers gripping your plush thighs as he gently pulls them apart. “You smell so fucking delicious, like milk and honey.” He says as he kisses down the valley of your breast. His tail thumping against his chair as he reaches behind to grip the zipper of your dress. “May I?” He asks as he looks up at you. You nod again, face flushed as you hold his face in your hands. “You can do whatever you want, Sir. I’ve waited so long for this.” You say as you feel him lower our zipper, gently pulling down the straps of your dress. He growls softly as he sucks on one of your nipples, pinching and pulling on the other. Hearing your soft moans and pleas for him to give you more, the gentle tugging of his hair as you press yourself into him. As he switches to your other breast, he lets one hand roam, squeezing your thighs and ass before reaching your tail. So soft and short, he can’t help but tug it gently, kneading it as he milks your tits. Your soft whimpers and moans were music to his ears as he continued to ravish you. One of your hands rubbed his fluffy ear, making him growl and bite your nipple. Pulling back, he kisses down your soft stomach, kissing every stretchmark before he reaches your mound. Getting on his knees, he looks up at you, gently rubbing your clit with his thumb as he kisses the inside of your thighs. You moan louder, bucking your hips against his fingers. “Are you ready little lamb? To have this wolf eat you?” He asks as he continues to rub your clit. You nod quickly, spreading your legs more as you whimper softly. “Please, Enji. Eat me~.” 

His resolve snaps as he lunges in; licking your hole gently, he groans. You taste so good, so sweet. His tail thumps against the floor as he thrusts his tongue into your entrance. Fingers digging into your thighs as he slowly moves his tongue inside of you, nose brushing against your clit. It feels like hours go by as he devours you, drinking you down as he gently coaxes orgasm after orgasm from you. Deciding you’re ready, he stands up; as he begins to undo his belt, you stop him. Moving to kneel in front of him, you undo his belt and pull out his cock, drooling slightly at how heavy it is in your hands. It throbs as you stroke it gently, feeling every vein and ridge as you grip the base. Looking up at him with big eyes, you begin to take him into your mouth. Whimpering as you take more of his cock down your throat. He groans above you, gently placing a hand on your head, admiring your curls and how soft they feel. You whimper as you struggle taking the last two inches of his cock, choking and drooling as you keep trying. Enji can’t take it anymore and grips your head; thrusting deeply, he holds you to the base, rutting against you as he moans loudly. “Fuck Y/N! I’m gonna cum down that slutty mouth of yours.” He growls.  

Your tiny hands grip his hips as you feel his cock pulse in your throat. Cumming down your throat as he whines, tail wagging like crazy. Pulling back, he holds onto your cheeks, tilting your face up to him to examine you. What he wasn’t expecting was your blissed-out eyes and mouth open, filled with his cum. Gulping it down and showing their mouth empty again. Lifting you up and laying you back down on the table, he spread your legs, rubbing your clit gently as he stroke his cock. “Ready little lamb?” He asks as he gently presses the tip of his cock against your entrance. Nodding frantically, you mewled, reaching up for him. “Please, Enji...Breed me~ I wanna feel your fat cock inside me so bad!” You moan out as you look up at him. Desperately holding himself together, he sheaths himself slowly inside, growling at your walls constricting around his cock. His claws grew and dug into your plush thighs as he pushed them to your chest, licking his lips at your soft stomach and tits as he bottomed out. Your eyes rolled back as you felt his cock press against your cervix, throbbing by the second. He couldn’t hold back anymore, your whimpers, your soft skin under his large hands. It was all too much; Baring his fangs, he began thrusting hard and deep inside. Making you whine louder and hold onto his forearms. The slapping of his balls against your ass rang loudly throughout the room as he began to quicken his pace. Lifting you up, he held you close, snarling in your ear as he bounces you on his cock, claws drawing blood as they sink into the flesh of your ass. “Fuck..You fit so well on my cock; how does it feel to be a cock sheath little lamb.” He growls as he feels you cum around his cock. You can barely speak, eyeliner and mascara streaking down your face as you thought your pussy clench around him. “S-so good! Your cock feels so good!” You babbled as you tried to hold onto him. He chuckles, licking a stripe up your neck as he sits back in his chair, bouncing you on his cock while he watches your face. Flushed out and crying from overstimulation, he can’t help but think you’re ethereal. The look in your eyes is one he hasn’t seen towards him in a while, one of pure love and admiration. “Enji. Enji, I love you.” You say so sweetly to him; he reaches up and cups your face gently, you grind your hips down on his cock. Taking some control, you begin to bounce on his cock slowly, using his shoulders as leverage. “Fuck. I love you more, Y/N. Fuck I want to keep you to myself. Always so jealous of letting those lackeys seeing what’s mine.” He growls as he watches you bounce on his cock. Leaning up to suckle on one of your breasts as he holds you closer to him. One of his ear twitches, listening around, he notices you both aren’t alone. You see, he’s distracted, lifting his head up to stop bouncing, whimpering softly. “Enji...is everything ok?” You asked worriedly. The sunset reflects off of your e/c eyes, making them shimmer and glow. He lifts you up again, spinning you around and rolling you both towards the window. Spreading your legs wide, he slowly thrusts up into you, kissing your hair and gently rubbing your clit. “Just relax for me, little lamb. You need to if you’re gonna take my knot.” He says as you start to feel something else slowly bumping against your entrance. You begin to relax before beginning to comprehend what he said. Before you can even ask him to explain, he grips your hips, slamming you down onto his knot. You feel his knot press against your g-spot, sending you over the edge, squirting on his cock with your legs shivering. His piercing blue eyes, staring off outside as he bites down on your shoulder, you only let out a squeal as he starts thrusting inside faster, rutting against you. He can’t help but get you on the floor, thrusting down, determined to make you cum again before he fills your womb. You’re marked up and bruised, still looking like an angel to him as he finally holds you close to him. Howling softly as he fills your tiny cunt, letting you pant softly and regain your composer as he pets your head. Looking up to meet golden eyes across the way to the top of the building. 

#Cernunnos Writings #endeavor #endeavor x reader #endeavor smut #enji todoroki #enji smut #enji x reader #bnha smut #bnha x reader #bnha enji #citrus dome collab #collab

[pineapple-lover-boy]

Can- can I just talk about the Victuuri relationship? Pretty please?

I just…. I’ve never seen a healthy relationship that starts from idolization and a need to get out that has ended in a satisfying way.

Let me elaborate:

We all know that Yuri idolized Victor. It’s why he was so nervous in the beginning and why it took time for them to build on their relationship, he saw Victor as a god.

Victor? He was depressed. He loved the ice so much but he longer found excitement in competitions. He didn’t have any worthy opponents that had a chance of beating him (sorry Chris).

I believe Victor “fell in love” at the banquet. He was attracted to Yuri but, even though he lost, he also saw potential in him. That night was probably the most exciting night for him in a long time. I think he felt genuine affection for Yuri but also saw a way to get out of his predicament.

Then, of course, Yuri didn’t show up the following season (a year had passed before the present timeline). He was most likely annoyed that someone who had gave him excitement didn’t show up. Did he think Yuri had a chance of beating him at first? Probably not. Did he see potential or at least someone he could have fun with during the season? Hell yes!

And then when he saw the video of Yuri skating Stay Close To Me, something that awarded him a gold medal. That’s all he needed. He saw how Yuri not only skated it perfectly but I bet he thought Yuri skated it better. Let’s not forget that emotion is a huge part of skating. If you don’t skate with the passion your supposed to hold for whatever theme you have, your performance can almost seem futile. Victor obviously won because he perfected it but if it was based on how he presented it alone, he would’ve lost. He saw someone worthy of skating an gold medal piece while also having the heart to do it. That’s talent.

Anyways, because of this, their relationship doesn’t hold well in the beginning. He’s passive aggressive towards Yuri because he doesn’t see his own talent and Yuri is just going along for the ride because holy shit it’s Victor fucking Nikiforov.

As they get to know each other and Yuri opens up more (plus Victor getting info on Yuri from the others) Victor starts to see Yuri as an actual person and not someone he can use to project himself onto and then later skate against. And Yuri starts to see him as an actual person too.

I saw on another post talking about how we didn’t see them during the summer and how the end credits of every episode suggest they got to know each other better as both in the credits and in the show they (Yuri) are able to touch each other more. I 100% believe this.

I also believe they might’ve had an argument or two on this topic. It’s not easy to switch from inadvertently seeing someone as anything but a person to an actual person with emotions and feelings. I believe Victor would’ve tried to back away from this subject but Yuri wouldn’t let him. It wasn’t big arguments like in episode 7. It was probably little quarrels that annoyed them both but after having a long conversation they finally started to become more comfortable with each other.

Yuri started letting go of the notion that Victor was a god like creature and Victor saw him as something other than a pawn. Yuri stopped getting as embarrassed with Victor touching him and Victor stopped trying to seduce him as much just so he could see the man from the banquet.

This most definitely leads the way towards a healthier relationship but episode 7 was inevitable. Yuri’s anxiety was at an all time high when he comes out on top. The fact that he needs to stay on top and not mess up is getting to him. As a person with anxiety, it’s pure hell. The thoughts of failing won’t get out of his head and even as he turns off all the monitors he can still hear everything.

Victor takes him away from prying eyes and has no idea what to do. Despite an obvious change that would’ve had to include some emotions from both occurring over the summer, he still has no idea how to help someone in distress.

Then he makes his first mistake. Yuri is visibly shaken by someone’s scores (can’t remember who) and Victor, who is at his wits end, yells at him to stop listening and puts his hands over Yuri’s ears. This tells Yuri how nervous Victor is too and despite knowing that Victor wouldn’t leave him now it shows to him that Victor doesn’t have faith in him (even if he does).

Victor tried to shatter Yuri’s heart. He must’ve expected Yuri to maybe sign heavily but tell him that he’ll do everything in his power to win (probably something that’s happened with him and Yakov). Instead he see’s the consequences of his carelessness. Yuri rightfully lashes out at him and even through all that Victor stills says “should I kiss you?”. Idk what Yuri was thinking but if I were him I would be extremely offended that Victor would try and use me like some doll he can play with and can assume that physical affection and love can fix everything, which was probably what Yuri was thinking.

There’s something off about Yuri and Victor when they emerge but Yuri is surprisingly better now. Cathartic crying can do wonders, kids. There’s also my favorite part of the entire show (couldn’t find a gif):

*head jab* “Hey, fuck you.”

*more head jabs* “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I know you don’t like this you unempathetic dicknip.”

*head pat* “You’re forgiven.”

We all know what happens next: Yuri ends his love story with Victor’s signature move and Victor kisses him out of joy and the need to one up him (with love, of course).

I’m gonna get a little sloppy here with the timeline because I have the memory of a female protagonist that needs to go back to work to get something only to accidentally bump into the jerk CEO of which she will develop a toxic relationship for fan service, so forgive me.

Gonna skip ahead to the scene where Yuri tells Victor that he’s leaving skating, and basically Victor too. (At this moment I realized I’ve been spelling Viktor with a c and not a k which is really fucking with my brain but it’s too late to go back). Victor starts crying and realizes just how Yuri felt when he was rejecting him.

I believe Yuri found some light in the situation because of that fact, which Victor was not having. They’ve been closer than ever now. They’ve kissed, they’ve also announced they they’re getting married, so what the hell?!

Yuri, as we know, feels he’s keeping Victor from the ice. Victor, while he misses the ice and wouldn’t mind being competitive again, has found meaning and if he’s going to be Yuri’s coach to stay where he is than so be it.

He wanted to coach Yuri because he wanted a worthy competitor and while he still wants that, what matters most now is his relationship with Yuri. If he stops being Yuri’s coach and Yuri goes off the ice he knows it will be the end. Yuri loves the ice too and I’d bet he’d try to distance himself from Victor as to not feel regret from leaving without actually knowing that he’s doing it.

They’ve grown so much at this point. But that doesn’t mean it’s over. After all they’ve been through Yuri doesn’t realize that consequences of parting from one another. While being too dependent on your spouse isn’t good, it’s what they both need right now. They are what caused the other person to be happy again and while I hate those types of storylines this one executed it perfectly.

I find Victor’s silent plea to Yurio absolutely heartbreaking. He knows it’s bad to put pressure on people but now he’s doing that to a 15 year old boy. He’s putting his relationship and his life into this child’s hands because he knows there’s nothing else he can do.

I do think Yurio had a crush on Yuri but even if he didn’t: Yuri has taught him so much. He, although being an ass most of the time, has really come to love Yuri as family. It’s clear that Yurio was always lonely (Otabek being his first friend and all) but once he came to Japan and lived, truly lived there, he wasn’t lonely anymore.

Yurio wins, Yuri gets silver and all’s well that ends well.

I guess my point of this was to show how well the relationship in YOI was. I could’ve included some more detail on some points but I usually write stuff in one take (it’s very hard to revise without my mind shutting on itself).

I just love how an implicitly toxic relationship can come out so healthy. They don’t do any of that miscommunication bullshit and when they do it’s because the characters don’t know what to do or how to handle something. Like humans do!

They could’ve easily made this the hot famous guy thinks the kawai girl boy is just so adorable and the kawai girl boy is absolutely infatuated with the hot guy. Hijinks ensue which includes the kawai girl boy thinking the hot guy is in love with someone else. She He gets pushed into thinking that she’s he’s more independent in the end and happily ever after for the couple that will divorce in less than five years! Yay!

Seriously, I thought that was what was going to happen but YOI subverted my expectations so much. They are people that grew from their bad mindsets. And you know what? Yuri still has anxiety! Victor is still bad with handling emotions! And that’s ok! We don’t change that quickly. It takes time and hopefully another season.

I’m definitely using this show as a template for healthy relationships. It’s so hard for me to properly write them when I’ve never been in one and I’m not given the chance to see it happen in different environments (when searching it up all I get is “they trust each other. They blame each other. They’re compassionate.” Like ok but can you show me how?)

Yuri!!! On ice…. I love you so much. You have done so much for my mental health and my writing. Thank you.

#yuri on ice #yuri katsuki #katsuki yuri #victor nikiforov #viktor nikirofov #please tell me if you want me to elaborate on some sections #long post #yurio plisetsky #yuri plisetsky #healthy relationships

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

The Blight twins, codependency and fatal communication failure

Recently I talked about “the Blight children and toxic behaviors”, specifically about the tough love fallacy and how their parents get them to target each other rather than backing each other up.

In that post I mentioned wanting to make one specifically on the relationship of the Blight twins, and, well, here we are.

When we think of The Owl House and unhealthy/toxic platonic relationships, we think of the one Amity has with the twins in the earlier episodes, or Eda and Lilith, or the one the Blight kids have with their parents. I’m pretty sure very few people would look at these words and think of Edric and Emira… but it’s true nonetheless. The twins are raised in a very toxic environment that teaches them a lot of unhealthy mechanisms. The heavily codependent relationship the two siblings share is incredibly unhealthy for both of them.

Let’s get into why.

More under cut because hell this got long.

Who am I without you?

The Blight Twins always show up as a unit. They’re a set of two, who share the same track and are involved in the same shenanigans.

We never see them separate from each other in the show. Not a single time.

Their mother picks their matching outfits, according to Dana, because she likes her kids to be “color-coordinated.” They’re supposed to always look similar.

To Amity, they’re a united front—we don’t get to see her relationship to them separate from each other, we only get her relationship with “the twins.”

As far as I’m aware we’ve never gotten art from Dana featuring just one of them. They’re also often treated as a pair by the fandom (outside of their respective ships, that is), showing up together and showcasing very similar behaviors in fics, showing up together in fanart, etc.

We don’t have much content of just one of them with Amity (or anyone else that’s not their romantic partner).

You also don’t generally see them disagreeing a lot in fan content, which is interesting. Despite being two separate characters, they don’t get to actually be separate from each other a ton.

The main difference you see in their portrayal is in Emira being treated as the more responsible older sister, while Edric gets treated as more goofy (and a bit of an idiot), both in the show and fanon content. But that’s essentially it.

The twins are the twins. There’s no “just Edric” or “just Emira”. They don’t seem to exist without each other.

Their united front is both their greatest strength and their weakest link. They likely experienced a similar abuse as the one Amity went through, but they always had each other to lean on instead of enduring it alone. And while it definitely helps them a ton that they have each other, it also results in an unhealthy amount of codependency. Edric and Emira ONLY ever had each other. Their relationship with Amity is pretty bad and outside of that almost nonexistent up until Lost In Language, mostly used to hurt each other. Edric is always with Emira and Emira is always with Edric and there is no one else they can fall back on. Their most important relationship, the one with each other, is simultaneously the only one they have, one that they desperately clung to for a very long time. They don’t have any friends that we’re aware of.

Both Emira’s and Edric’s worst fear is born out of this. Despite being completely opposite fears, they stem from the same basic issue. In Enchanting Grom Fright, when they talk about their worst fears, Edric says “Being alone forever.” while Emira says “Being stuck with you forever.”

There is so much characterization in those two little sentences.

Edric has a fear of being alone because he’s always around Emira. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be alone, and he doesn’t want to find out. He doesn’t know who he is without Emira. This is somewhat subtle in the show, but she’s shown to be the more responsible of the two, preventing her brother from eating snow and being bitten by a bat. Edric looks to Emira for guidance, and his fear of being alone might stem from him not thinking himself capable of taking care of himself. Emira is smart and knows what she’s doing, and so Edric always runs after her. Even just entertaining the thought of being without her, without anyone to guide him, scares him so much that he proclaims it his worst fear. He likely leans on Emira a ton.

His desire to to lean on other people because he thinks himself incapable of handling issues himself comes with the possibility of him opening up easier, to the extent of oversharing, doing it so much that it becomes overbearing for Emira. But even if he can open up about some of the fears he has related to not meeting their parents expectations, he can’t really communicate the issues he has that involve Emira, because open communication about their issues is something they generally struggle with (see the point about lack of communication further below). Edric is under the impression that he needs someone else because he’s never been without Emira and doesn’t know what it’s like to exist without her. And as long as he has someone to lean on, he never has to find out if he’s truly as incapable as he thinks himself to be. His refusal to let go of her fuels his fear further—the tighter he holds on, the scarier the thought of letting go becomes.

Emira doesn’t know who she is without Edric either, and that’s exactly the reason she wants to break out of that dynamic so desperately. She doesn’t want to be nothing but someone’s twin for the rest of her life. She wants to just be herself, not have all her interests linked to her brother, for people to stop mentioning her only in the same sentence as Edric. She’s had enough of the matching. What Emira really wants is independence—from her brother, and, to a larger extent, her parents and their control.

Edric leaning on her as much as he does makes Emira feel responsible for him, and she struggles to let go of that because she doesn’t want to hurt him—but the tighter he holds on because he believes he needs her, the more overwhelmed Emira feels by her brother and the responsibility she holds for both of them.

Emira loves Edric, but she’s his sister, and can’t provide him with emotional support 24/7. Spending all day handling someone else’s issues can be pretty draining, especially when you struggle to share the ones you yourself have.

With Emira’s longing for independence comes a refusal to lean on anyone, especially on Edric, because she can’t at the same time let herself be vulnerable and need his support while also wanting to break out of their current dynamic. So Emira doesn’t talk about her issues, she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t lean on anyone. Emira is independent and strong and she doesn’t need anyone, especially not Edric.

It likely started out as them leaning on each other, but where Edric started to become too dependent on Emira always being there, Emira started growing increasingly overwhelmed and pulling back, catching them in a vicious circle of him trying to hold on tighter in order not to lose her, which causes her to draw back further.

To be clear:

a) Emira is not a terrible person for wanting to be away from Edric. What she said hurt him and came across as callous, but what he said harmed her too, even if the “why” that I just explained isn’t as blatantly obvious in the show. Edric isn’t a terrible person for relying on Emira so much, either. Neither of them are inherently malicious in any way, even if they do hurt each other. That they have to deal with these issues in the first place is rooted in the abuse they experienced, specifically in their parents treating them as a two-part set rather than two separate people their whole life.

b) I think it should be clear now why Edric’s behavior is toxic, but I want to address that Emira’s behavior is also an issue. While her desire for independence in itself is normal and healthy, she’s striving for a toxic kind of independence where she doesn’t need anyone anymore, which wouldn’t be good for her either.

Everyone needs to rely on other people sometimes, and if she doesn’t allow herself to, it’s going to cause some serious damaged in the long run. The most reliable relationship she had, the only support system she has, falls victim to her desire to be away from Edric… and only after she is she’s going to realize just how much she needed him, needed anyone to be there, too.

I think it’s very interesting that Edric’s and Emira’s issues are essentially inverted—they have the same root, but their problems are the exact opposite.

Edric is Emira’s mirror image.

This is also shown visually. With the matching clothes and identical dominant features (eye and hair color), they look extremely similar. Their beauty marks are what makes them into a mirror image rather than just looking identical, because they’re on opposite sides of their face. Emira’s is on her right cheek, Edric’s on his left. If they face each other, the marks mirror each other perfectly.

They had the same thing in the concept art I’ve seen of them too, but it was with identical earrings on opposite sides rather than beauty marks.

Caged Freedom

I couldn’t find a way to somehow smoothly fit this into the overlaying topic, but it’s an important part of the reason for their communication issues I go into below, and also just something that I wanted to go into, so take it or leave it.

The twins appear extremely confident, seem like they always get what they want (Amity even resents them for “getting away with everything”), but they really, really doesn’t. Sneaking out of school is the only way they can have the slightest bit of normalcy and freedom and control over their life, and Edric and Emira cannot be caught or it will come back to bite them—the reason they wanted to punish Amity in the first place is that she told on them for skipping, getting them in trouble.

Even within their “rebellion” against their parents, there’s a set system Emira and Edric have to operate within—matching clothes, perfect scores, not doing anything that could get back to their parents or harm the family reputation. Despite skipping school, they both maintain excellent grades. It’s said in Adventures in the Elements, Amity is even trying to beat their best score on an exam.

It’s a careful, calculated kind of resistance, not one that includes them openly opposing their parents. They do things their parents wouldn’t like, they tread lines, but they’re being smart about it, in hopes it will never get back to their parents. Even their limited freedom is caged in that way.

Despite seeming as confident as they do, they’re too scared to talk back to their parents. They cause exactly the kind of trouble that they know is possible to get away with without putting themselves in harm’s way. Going further, openly calling their parents out for how they’re being treated, would be dangerous, and so they don’t. They operate within the system and follow it as much as they have to in order to be able to push the boundaries even slightly.

Their endless confidence, their apparent fearlessness, is just another illusion of theirs.

They wouldn’t need to get back at Amity for telling on them if their behavior was just a huge “fuck you” to their parents. But they do, because their parents aren’t supposed to know. They’re scared, even if they’d never admit that.

Emira and Edric target Amity as a way to cope with the treatment they receive from their parents, which they to an extent blame on Amity (I’ve gone over this more in-depth in the toxic behaviors post I linked above).

Hurting Amity in hopes she won’t tell on them again seems safe in a way that actively calling out their parents behavior could never be.

Lack of Communication

Edric and Emira both have trouble communicating their feelings in a healthy way, and instead of open communication and talking things through they revert to backhand comments and punishment.

They grown up believing that severe punishments are necessary, “tough love” used to help someone improve as shown (and literally quoted) in Lost In Language in regards to Amity. That’s also something I go into my other Blight sibs post.

Regarding the backhand comments, let’s look at their worst fears in Enchanting Grom Fright again. As explained above, Emira’s “being stuck with you forever”-fear is a shitty attempt at trying to get across that she’s unhappy with never getting to be apart from Edric to just be herself. Edric’s “being alone forever” brings up a huge fear of his, especially of being abandoned by Em, which, regarding her worst fear, is justified.

Both of these fears are extremely understandable, and they don’t necessarily have to be at odds with each other—Emira just wants to not feel overwhelmed by Edric, and figure out who she is, and she doesn’t have to completely abandon him to achieve that, even if it’s something she might think she wants now. Edric has to find a way to be able to rely on himself more because Emira can’t always be around him, but he can still maintain a close, positive relationship with her, and would absolutely be able to make other friends that could support him.

What them voicing these fears is, for both of them, is a desperate cry for help, for change. Edric wouldn’t be bringing this up if there wasn’t a part of him that desperately wants to talk to Emira about this, and in the same way Emira wouldn’t have said her fear if she wouldn’t want it too. But the issue is that the twins don’t actually communicate. They put these huge things out there, validating the other’s worst fear with what they say. And then they don’t talk it out. These sentences just hang in the air between them, and then they move on like nothing happened, both anxious and hurt.

And this is because the Blight family in general doesn’t communicate. As mentioned before, the twins don’t dare to talk back to their parents, they do things behind their backs and hope they won’t get caught. They don’t communicate with Amity, and despite Edric and Emira being the closest person the other has, they don’t really communicate the issues in their relationship with each other either, because they don’t know how. This is not a skill they were ever taught, because talking things through like that requires them to be extremely vulnerable. To acknowledge what their worst fears are and why, that they might have gone too far or might have been wrong about some of the things they said, and therefore admit to not being perfect.

But Blights are required to be perfect, and Blights aren’t wrong—if others don’t see things your way, you make them. If others don’t act the way you want them to, you punish them. Tough love to help them grow and “encourage” them to make the “right” decision.

There’s no room for open communication in an environment that sees vulnerability as a shortcoming, and admitting mistakes as a weakness. If neither party is willing to take the first step, communication withers and dies, and the issues go ignored as they grow. Admitting there’s an issue in the first place, and that it might partially be your fault, is considered backing down. And Blights don’t back down. They can’t.

If you back down in business, let others convince you into a bad contact, you’ll never be successful. Worst case: it might be the end. And so you don’t back down. You never do. Blights don’t lose an argument. The other person has to break and back down first.

But that can’t work when both people involved were raised with that mindset. So Emira doesn’t make the first step, and neither does Edric, and aside from their backhand comments that never lead anywhere, they just suffer silently as their relationship disintegrates without as much as their acknowledgement of it.

For Edric, there’s also the issue that bringing up his fear might possibly drive Emira further away, knowing her fear. He doesn’t want to make her angry, and doesn’t want to fight with her, because it might lead to him losing her, which is exactly what he so desperately wants to prevent.

I can’t remember which post brought it up, but one post I read a while back also addresses how despite admitting that her behavior was wrong, we never hear Amity say “sorry” to Willow. Because if there’s one thing the Blight family does even less than admitting mistakes in the first place, it’s apologizing for them. Open communication is weak. Apologizing is weaker.

In summary: There needs to be a balance between depending on yourself and still being able to ask others for support when you need it, and Emira and Edric are currently sitting on opposite ends of the same issue. Both of them need to move more towards the middle. What one of them so desperately wants is what the other needs to recognize.

Emira realizes that she needs space from Edric, and because Edric doesn’t recognize it, he’s the one that needs space from Emira more. He desperately needs to realize that clinging to each other the way they currently are isn’t healthy.

Edric realizes that he needs support from other people, and that’s something Emira denies for herself that she really needs to realize.

They both have half of the solution to their shared problem, but their difficulties communicating the issues within their relationship properly prevent them from finding a healthy solution together.

For everyone that’s incredibly sad now (myself included): I cover these topics in several of my fics.

Most prominently, Locked Out, where I’m currently beginning to explore the Blight twins and their different mindsets further.

Most recently, Sleight of Hand, a collab fic I did with my friend @lexa-alycia, where, among other things, the twins have a long overdue conversation regarding the things said in Enchanting Grom Fright.

But also 6/8 of my currently posted Owl House fics (not counting another additional two that also do and are done but haven’t been posted yet) give focus to at least one of the Blight twins if not both, so yeah I have plenty of twins content on my profile for anyone that wants XD

Next up, probably (because I just do not want to be done with this apparently): a post regarding Vinem and Jerbric and why these relationships would work and be extremely beneficial for everyone involved.

#not spoilers! #reblogs appreciated #I spent way too long on this I want people to see it #amity blight #TW: abuse mention #the owl house #toh #blight twins #Edric blight #Emira Blight #eleena talks blight siblings #blight siblings #Edric toh #Emira toh #meta #Alador Blight #Odalia Blight #toh character analysis #owl house #toh locked out #character analysis #toh meta #long post #my works #my writing #I cannot say anything in little words to safe my life lmfao #part 763 of me wanting to kidnap the Blight children #not me spending several hours over analyzing the Blight kids #again #mild cursing

[solomonish]

I have a really weird and vague idea in my head that I don't think I'll write because I don't know how but let me try to put it into words here anyway

But like. What if the exchange program is the first time the brothers are all home together in a long time? (I'm sure there are canon details to debunk this immediately so if so consider this an AU of sorts)

Like. Listen.

Mammon is away so often, running from debt collectors and hiding from the consequences of his actions. He spends random weeks away from school only to return with either a suspiciously expensive-looking accessory or a new injury to the jaw and manages to scrape by his classes with the little material he is present to learn.

Satan does NOT want to be home so after school, he spends his time in bookstores and then spends nights at 24-hour libraries. On weekends and vacations he travels around the Devildom or crashes with one of his connections. He probably has a full-on abode just somewhere for him to be away.

Asmodeus has plenty of company and, rather than taking people home, allows them to take him home. He seduces his pact holders when in desperate need of a place to stay but can generally afford to keep himself in a nice hotel for a while (or get the connections to have somebody else buy them for him)

I'm reading a fic where Beel also has some military status (if i find it ill link it!) so he's off doing that, training recruits and meeting with officials. Or he disappears to try various sports that require different environments than the city has to offer. Sometimes he meets up with Belphie and hangs out with him if he has time, but nobody else ever knows when or where this happens.

Lucifer and Leviathan both stay home but almost never see each other. The little D's do the chores while Lucifer works and bring food to Levi, who still only leaves his room for school and Navy events. Even for special merchandise drops, he manages to get others to get the merch for him instead of getting it himself. Lucofer is frequently at the palace for his work and spends long stretches of time never going home once. Occasionally they run into each other in the halls or the kitchen and it is SO awkward.

The only person I'm not 100% on is Belphie. Maybe he still stays at home but he sleeps the whole time and then sneaks out at night or when he has plans with Beel. Sometimes he runs away for long stretches of time and doesn't go to school, magically appearing on test days and managing to ace them before disappearing again. He sort of floats around.

Then the exchange program is set into motion, and the brothers are told they have to stay in the HoL in order to be available to the human.

This is part of the reason they are so chaotic around MC - they've spent too much time apart and don't know how to mesh into a family structure anymore. They had sparse time to adjust to the co-inhabitation and now there's a human they have to pretend to care about? They are having a Hard Time adjusting.

But Mammon finds himself trying to get himself into less trouble - he really doesn't want to kure anybody dangerous back to his brothers, even if they could handle whoever it is.

Leviathan wanders the house more, partially because the walls are thick but not block-out-five-other-demons thick, and finds himself just existing near other people more.

Satan realizes how nice it is to have books around him that he owns, and a place where he can keep possessions that are his (that he wouldn't have to carry from place to place of he was crashing) and also not be entirely alone. A quiet house at 2 am is more peaceful than scary when you know there are people sleeping in it.

Asmodeus can't bring people home anymore, but he finds his brothers to sometimes be decent conversation partners. He also forgot how much fun it was to do somebody's hair and/or makeup and gossip or be able to give advice. He feels a little more like a person.

Beel loves being with his brothers again, and even though he misses Belphie, he hopes all seven of them will be able to be together for a little while before they all split off again at the end of the program.

Belphegor is already seething with rage, and doing a horrible job at dealing with his grief and betrayal. But sometimes, it calms him down when he lies on the floor with one ear pressed against the wood, and he can hear everybody talking at dinner. He tricks himself into thinking he doesn't wish he were with them.

Lucifer is glad to have all of his brothers under one roof again, and when he passes someone in the hall there's a secret smile on his face once he's behind them and they can't see. But sometimes, when he's tired and trudging through the halls at night, he checks on Belphegor in his room and startles when he isn't there. Lucifer thinks, for a moment, that he ran away again, before remembering the much more brutal truth.

And this is why they cling to you, in part. Not only did you help them fix their underlying issues, but you brought them back together in the first place.

I dunno. Just an idea.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me swd #swd obey me #lucifer #leviathan #mammon #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #rambles #long post

[yandere-vale]

Yandere Planetina Headcanons.

Warning: All the lovely dark things that come out of most yandere content. Thank you!

*I do what I can, but I can't do it alone. I won't do it your way anymore. This isn't for you, it's for me.*

Planetina has has some ups and downs all too recently. Since the mid-90s she'd been summoned to save the environment and subdue eco-villains without any real time to herself. Always focused on her job and being slowly turned into a money making tool for the Tina-Teers/her kids, she had no self of self but always kept her cheery outlook on life. In recent events, she's had the joy of experiencing love, true true love. That was until several things all fell around her and crushed the world that she lived in. The Tina-Teers having been killed off and the first person to ever say they loved her(truly loved her) rejected her love and broke her heart because they 'couldn't handle her'. She's been a mess, finally having to deal with emotions that every other being grows up with. But not her. She never had to deal with them. Left heartbroken and with a twisted sense of both duty and love isn't the ideal mix. But she will make it work, she'll make it work for you.

Planetina has a two-sided personality and both of them sit on a hair-trigger. With the Tina-Teers no longer able to reign her in, she uses her powers as she wishes with zero regard for anyone that happens to be in her way. Planetina has no cap for her emotions and lets them flood in full force with no sign of stopping the overflow. When she's happy she'll be all giggly and wanting to hug you. When she's angry you better stay well out of her way unless you want to be burned by her flames.

Not to say that she would ever hurt you. You need to understand that Planetina loves you and will make this relationship work no matter what. She wants you, no needs you to like and to love her. Your acceptance is all that matters to her in this world. When she's with you, she doesn't have to hear the earth screaming so loudly. When she's with you her violent behavior simmers down into nothing.

That's not to say that you won't be punished for any tantrums you try and pull with her. She won't let you stray from her, no avoiding her, no getting away or keeping things from her. She NEEDS you to love her and to reaffirm that on a daily base. It's common for her to pull you into her arms and won't let go till you tell her what she wants to hear from you. 'I love you Planetina.' She wants to hear you say her name when you say it, so she knows you aren't thinking of something else when you say it.

Planetina doesn't want to wait when it comes to just taking you.If she can she'll kidnap you within the first week of knowing about you. She'll be able to justify her actions to you later, she just needs to have you with her. She won't allow you to reject her. Having her heart broken so thoroughly then suddenly feeling that same warmth when she's around you makes her addicted. Addicted to you. You might of actually spoken to her once or twice, or maybe you only know of her through the tv when watching her stopping a forest fire. Either way she'll take you away from all that could harm you. Not like anyone can stop her that is. She's an elemental construct with no rings to control her actions, do you really think anyone out there could stop her from taking you even if she did so violently.

Planetina will bring you to a place far in the woods or high in the mountains where she had 'acquired' a house trailer for you to live in. She's nice like that and wouldn't have you living in some cave. She loves you too much for that. And it's far enough where running would mean nothing as you couldn't get far from someone who can hear the voice of the earth. Planetina knows where you are if she comes to her little home and you are not there. The earth will tell her just where you've run off to and she'll catch you in no time. And pray that you didn't come across anyone and ask for help. She has no problem burning them alive and telling you how it's all your fault for her having to do this. "I told you to stay home y/n! You should've just listened to me. Now they are dead and it's because of you. All because you decided to try and run away from our loving relationship."

Her punishments depend on what you've done to get her to punish you. If it's nothing too bad then she'll use her words to guilt and demoralise you all the while telling you how much she loves you and that you doing this is pulling her apart. She needs you to know that all of this is your own doing. Even if she is the one keeping you.

If you did something really bad, such as trying to run away from or hitting her. Then I hope you don't mind when she uses her strength to break one of your legs that ran from her or the wrist of the arm used to hit her. She doesn't want to do it, but you have to understand how hurt she felt when you did the things to make her do this to you. Planetina will take care of you after the punishment though, she's great at tending to your wounds and applying aftercare.

If you obey her and listen to her rules then she'll be the perfect girlfriend to you. She loves to cuddle and hold your hands when you both sit together. She'll bring you flowers and anything you ask for if your good. Anything then your freedom that it. You don't need to be free, you aren't trapped. You are safe with her.

When she's home with you she'll take you out of the trailer and go on nature walks with you, showing you all the beauty that the earth has to offer. She has a clearing where she's grown flowers in the shape of your darling face and she'll want to show you. Once their she'll make you flower crowns, bracelets, and necklaces. All the while complimenting you and telling you how beautiful you are, how you are her everything and she does mean it.

Overall I don't see her as a bad yandere as long as you love her back and to to not reject the love that she gives you. She needs things to fall in line and won't accept anything less.

#rick and morty #rick & morty #yandere #female yandere #yandere rick and morty #planetina #yandere planetina #yandere x reader #yandere imagines

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

Can you do stray kids reaction to their s/o having grown up in a toxic family?

(It’s okay if you can’t)

No, of course I can! ❤

Stray Kids | Their S/O grew up in a toxic family

{Stray Kids Masterlist}

Author’s Note: I wrote this in that their S/O had a toxic family in the past, not in the present, so I’m sorry if that’s different to what you wanted 😣

-Bang Chan-

You probably already expect it, but he would be so understanding about the whole situation

His S/O wouldn’t be able to hide anything from him, so he would find out sooner or later about their toxic upbringing

He has such a natural protective aura, I think he would make sure his S/O feels comfortable in every situation

Would always be checking up on them and asking if they were okay

But seriously, if his S/O wasn’t feeling the best due to their upbringing, Chan wouldn’t leave their side until they were themselves again

He’d make sure they would have the most safe and loving environment possible, as he would hate for them to go through something like that again

Overall, he would be so comforting and understanding, always listening and just being there in general at any time for his S/O

Cuddles solve everything anyway, and he is more than willing to cheer them up with some snuggles on the couch when they’re not feeling great

*rest is under the cut

-Lee Know-

He’d be angry about it when his S/O tells him

Like how dare someone put his baby through that

As funny and teasing he can be, if he was to say something or bring something up that would upset them

His attitude would switch so quick to a overprotective mother

He’d try his best to not bring things up about his S/O’s family, but if they needed to talk, he would drop everything and listen

If they were feeling particularly bad about it, he would become super cautious about them

And probably would get annoyed if the boys or someone else was bugging them and would just drag his S/O to his room just to hold them close

But anyway, he wouldn’t seem to acknowledge it a lot as he wouldn’t want to upset them, but when it is brought up, he’s sensitive about it

-Changbin-

I feel like he would be a mix of Chan and Minho

Like he’s angry about the whole ordeal and becomes upset that you’re family were so horrible

But he would be such a comforting person to talk to about it

Definitely makes harmless jokes  (like cussing your family out) to make the situation lighter and to make his S/O feel more comfortable

He’d make sure that you view him as a safe place to be, without having that sort of stress on your shoulders

Convinces his S/O to not see their family much unless they absolutely have to

And when they do, he’s always there

Would never even remotely let his S/O get into an uncomfortable situation is he isn’t there to comfort them

-Hyunjin-

I think he would notice very soon

Like his S/O would say something about their family that didn’t exactly sound very healthy

And he would bring it up, creating the conversation about his S/O’s toxic family

It would take him a while for it to register and figure out how he can handle situations in which involve perhaps past trauma

But he would definitely do some kind of research or talk to someone about how to look after someone who has endured a toxic upbringing

He would take time out of his day and work to do this, because his S/O’s comfort and happiness is the first thing on his mind

He’d definitely be the silent type of caring

Like he doesn’t voice his concern much, but when his S/O is in need of love and comfort, he is so clingy and affectionate

-Han-

He would be really taken back when he finds out

Like knowing that someone would hurt his S/O like how their family did would make him really upset

Probably becomes really sensitive about the subject as well

There would be times where they mention something about their childhood and he would start tearing up

He’s very empathetic, so seeing his S/O cry about something that happened in their past would literally crush his heart

Cuddles for hours together and always attempts to distract them with something else if perhaps past trauma is affecting them

Like shows them a funny video or covers them with little kisses

But on a more serious note, he would be an excellent listener

Would sit for hours and listen to his S/O if that’s what it takes for them to feel better

-Felix-

I actually feel like Felix would be the best at handling this sort of stuff

He has a very mature and loving vibe, so he would know when it was the best time to bring things up if he needed to

But when his S/O told him about their upbringing, it would actually shatter him

He seems like a passionate and empathetic lover, so knowing that they had a rough family life makes him feel guilty that he can’t do anything about it

If things got a bit too much for his S/O, he would be right by their side

His loyalty would really shine through and he wouldn’t leave them alone until he was certain they were okay

But knowing that his partner went through that would always leave a big toll on his emotions

I think he would become quite sensitive to it, not even wanting to think about it at times and just reassuring himself that if their own family wasn’t willing to be there for them, then he would be their family

-Seungmin-

Much like Han, I think Seungmin is an excellent listener

He would have maturity in serious situations, so he would know how to handle it is his S/O wasn’t feeling the best because of their toxic family

I think he would be such a good person to talk to about it because he wouldn’t make it a big deal

Like he wouldn’t freak out when his S/O originally tells him

But on the inside he would probably be very worried

He’d make it seem like a very casual thing to talk about, so his S/O doesn’t feel uncomfortable to express their worries at all

And when they do, he would make sure to focus all his attention on them

And on days when they’re really being affected by it, he would try to be the best boyfriend by making them food and staying by their side the entire day providing kisses and cuddles

They wouldn’t even have to say anything, he just knows when they’re not feeling well and immediately takes care of them

-I.N.-

He wouldn’t be too sure how to handle it at first when his S/O tells him

Gets a shock, but would be so determined to be there for them

Although he’s a bit awkward about comforting people in harsh situations, he would try his absolute best

I actually think he would get mad about it sometimes

Like mad at himself for not being able to be there to prevent such things from happening

I get the feeling he would ask the rest of stray kids or even just Chan for advice on how to properly take care of his S/O when they’re not feeling well about their past

It wouldn’t be a common conversation between him and his S/O, but when it does get brought up, Jeongin would be so reassuring

He would constantly remind them that they’re not in that situation anymore, and that they are safe and loved with him

#stray kids #stray kids reactions #stray kids reaction #stray kids scenario #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids imagine #stray kids headcanons #stray kids headcanon #stray kids x reader #skz #skz reactions #skz reaction #skz scenario #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz imagine #skz headcanons #skz headcanon #skz x reader #bangchan #lee know #minho lee #christopher bang #felix lee #lee felix #jeongin #changbin #han #han jisung

[missyasf]

Game Of Hearts

| 1 |

↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.

↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader

↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller

Word Count: 11k

___| Next

Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together! 

Side mention: This could be considered a prequel to the current Alice In Borderland. I’m writing based off the Manga bc I was a glutton and couldn’t wait no spoilers will be present as of...

Escapism

noun

the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy ♡ 

You had known all about this during your short lifespan, as a child you’d often play pretend with your sister that you were movie stars living in a five star hotel rather than the shitty busted up apartment on the wrong side of town. Escapism came in, many forms. It was often a way for people to cope psychologically, simply because sometimes, facing the reality of your situation can be too much for one person to handle mentally. 

Or at least, that was the topic of your lecture today in class. The human mind always fascinated you. Even at the young tender age when your mom died and you watched your once cozy little family fall apart piece by piece until nothing was left in its wake. 

It was your fascination that drove you now for most things, why? Why, why, why? You always wondered what the motive was behind someone’s actions, not only thing but you wanted to  understand them better, to try and sympathize. You were already fairly intuitive in nature. It wasn’t difficult to read people. In fact your line of work made it easy, you’d watch a man who would be excited to be with you reach for his left finger as if used to touching something. A wedding band perhaps? 

The lowlife cheater was fairly common in a whore house after all. Or the man who had been pissy this morning behind you in line because you had decided to try something new on the menu and you weren’t fast enough, obviously because he was tardy and woke up late, his shirt unbeknownst to him was button the wrong way and his tie loose and even the way his hair fell were all signs of being late to work. 

It was the little things you noticed in people’s facial expressions, the way they moved and spoke. You could read people like a book, and sure sometimes it was useful. But you often wished you weren’t so perceptive. It drove you mad knowing when a potential love interest was no longer interested through a simple text or a friend not wanting to talk by their tone. Sometimes you wished you could just blot it all out, still, you lived like this day in and day out, you were used to this kind of thing and honestly. Friends? Love? Your gaze dropped a little to your feet, the pumps you were wearing a jet black and the heel too high for any respectable woman to ever wear. 

...It wasn’t like you ever had any of those in your life and you had struggled to come to terms with the fact that you could survive without that kind of support. Still...it made you envious, the couple happily holding hands on the sidewalk. The group of friends all laughing at a table while they studied. Oftentimes these feelings are muted, but when you’re faced with something you’ve always craved, those muted feelings suddenly become hyperactive in your mind. 

It’s pathetic, honestly. 

“How dare you! You disgusting slut!” 

In this moment however, you were brought back to reality at just what was happening, you squeaked loudly as you dodged the shoe the woman had thrown at you. This was all a regular occurrence, you had a lot of regulars who weren’t the most amazing people but hey, money was money. But along with them they also left a trail which their wives and girlfriends always followed. And then they always blamed you instead of their partner for leaving them for a prostitute despite you never having agreed to anything such as that.

It really wasn’t your fault, you were just trying to make a living while juggling with keeping up your own education, paying your fathers debts, rent and still somehow getting food on the table. What part time college job could provide that?

Prostitution wasn’t a job you would’ve gone into willingly but given the past and your trauma that was already laced in it you had been learning that sometimes because of the trauma we experience, sometimes people go back to that same trauma and actively participate in it as a way of feeling like they’re in control. 

That whatever happened before, would never happen again if you were in control. You weren’t sure if you qualified under this category, trauma came in many forms but the one most used as an example in your class was that a study showed that women who were assaulted often develop a kink for consensual non consent as a way of coping with what happened, except this time, it’s in a controlled environment where it can end the moment they want it too. 

Again, you weren’t sure you fell into this category, but you often wondered if your line of work was intertwined with your earlier memories when you were younger, if anything it brought comfort to you. Much of it, blotted out now simply because your mind couldn’t take it. Trauma expressed through amnesia was also much more common than many thought, and it’s so small, so easy to miss. After all how can you be aware of something if you have no memory of it anymore?

“Security!” Your manager screeched, two of the bodyguards were already between you and the feral woman who was ready to gut you clean as she screamed hysterically, her husband...your regular....at her side trying to get her to calm down only for her to come to her senses and slap him clean across the face. You didn’t condone violence, but he did have it coming...

You weren’t about to justify cheaters, you couldn’t imagine the hurt someone had to feel that not only did their partner cheat on them, but it was with someone...like you...You had been trying not to put down your job occupation, sex workers were just as valid as anyone else...you knew you would’ve thought this way if it was anyone but you in this position. 

You sighed as you ran your hands through your hair, watching the couple get dragged out of the tight space of the brothel, “Jesus christ....didn’t you say you stopped using perfume because of this?” Miki, your manager sighed as she crossed her arms. You didn’t want to say your manager was your friend but she was the closest you had as you’d often complain to her about most of your problems. Sex work often attracted broken people, it wasn’t something she wasn’t used to. 

“Yeah, but apparently he never got around to washing his clothes…” You wiped your mouth on the back of your hand, “Lipstick stain,” You glanced down at the ruby pink color that stained your skin now, “Fuck...that did hurt.” You rubbed your sore cheek that was still throbbing from where she had first slapped it when she ripped the door open of the room where she got to see with her own eyes you riding her husband. 

It had happened so many times now you weren’t even embarrassed about someone walking in let alone a partner. Miki gave you a lopsided smile as she patted your shoulder, “Guess that just pays for being one of the best here. Did you at least get paid.” 

You nodded, “Yeah, I always make them pay in advanced but I was hoping to get a tip afterwards...He was a lawyer so you know he had good money.” You sighed, crossing your arms, you were well aware of his partner because a lot of the time he didn’t even come in for sex anymore. It was funny how humans work. 

He often felt his wife was overbearing and you had suspected some sort of verbal abuse by the way he talked about her constant screaming. Truthfully, you don’t think he ever intended on cheating with her. He just wanted someone to talk to without being judged, you could relate with sympathy to that, but he unfortunately chose to walk into a brothel instead of a therapy clinic and this truly was the only inevitable outcome. Still, you hope if for anyone’s sake, he gets that divorce for himself. 

 “Hey I think I’m gonna call it a day. I need to get back to Nanami, she was wanting to talk to me about college applications.” You sighed as you rubbed your neck, ever since she had graduated high school she had been chomping at the bit to start applying for college, maybe to just get out of the house and into a dorm. You couldn’t blame her and if she did that it would lighten your load a little. 

Guilt washed over you at the thought as Miki chuckled, “They grow up pretty fast huh? My brother was the same way, except the moment he found out I was a sex worker was the moment he called me a whore and we haven’t talked since. That was probably about five years ago,” She crossed her arms as she sighed, “Crazy how the things we do for the ones we love, never appreciate our effort...I’ll see you tomorrow then?” 

“If I’m not bruising.” You offered a weak smile as you nodded at her before going back to your room to get changed. Truthfully, you much like anyone else, often wished you could go to a world where reality wasn’t a concept any longer. Where you could lay out in the sun for the whole day and just soak up it’s rays with no worries or trepidations. 

But sooner then later everyone had to face their fears. Even you, you supposed. But no matter how hard you fought your demons, they always came back tenfold. Again, you supposed your story was no different from tens of thousands, and yet you all live on regardless. Maybe it’s you who should be the one seeking therapy. Pulling on your jeans and the cropped top over your head before pulling the jacket over your arms and grabbing your bag. 

The walk home was as quiet as ever, your hood over your head and earbuds any unwanted attention, it wasn’t too late at night, only eleven PM and your work had just been getting started but that had ruined the night for you and besides, you had already failed a test today, you could use the sleep tonight. 

Occasionally you’d hear the sirens of  a cop car passing by or a bystander shout, nothing out of the ordinary in this neighborhood. Walking up to the apartment complex you pulled the key from your bag as you unlocked the door. Quietly stepping insides as you shut the door before locking it once more. Your nose wrinkled at the smell of stale air mixed with rotten...something…

If anything, you were always lacking in something, you had been so busy most of the day that you never had time to clean anything leaving the house in a horrible state. Not that you thought this was much of a house. 

Walking down the narrow hallway you opened the rickety door with a missing lock as you gave a brief smile to the small clump of bedsheets. Your sister was curled up and on her phone, eyes darting to the door with a hint of fear before she jumped up, “Y/n! You’re home earlier from night shift already!?” 

You offered a smile as you set down your bag and nodded, sitting down on the mattress that laid on the floor as you replied, “Yeah, a coworker needed the extra hours so I let them cover for me tonight. Besides, you wanted to talk about college applications?” Your sister was under the impression your late night job was bartending at some hole in the wall downtown, where in all actuality you just went there to drink a few days and talk to the loud and sometimes obnoxious, but good hearted bartender who loved talking about his nerdy underaged friends that couldn’t do anything beside stay and drink soda. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t think your sister would accept you, if she knew what you were actually doing. Fear, most times came in many different forms and this was one of them. You simply didn’t want to be judged, even by her. So nobody in your life truly knew who you were, and therefore, how could you hold the expectation for people to accept you into society if you were already self sabotaging yourself? 

All philosophy aside, you were simply a lost soul, looking for your way in the cruel reality called life. 

“Yes!” Nanami was chipper as always as she squealed, clapping her hands, “I…! I was thinking about applying to the university you attend! Maybe I'll get a grant and move into the dorms there? I already applied for several jobs, I’m just waiting on a callback!” 

You offered a small smile as you hugged your knees to your chest, “I think you’d like it there, there’s lots to do around campus. But what will you go in for? The only advice I can offer is be sure it’s what you want to do.” 

Nanami’s face faltered a little as she hummed, “Well...I thought maybe working with animals? I’d love to be an assistant surgeon in veterinarian? I know it’s a pretty...sad job but...I really like the idea of being able to heal such innocent things.” Your smile tugged into a gentle one at your sister. She was too tender for this world.

It had been your goal sense the day your mother died that you took care of your sister, it didn’t matter what happened to you. You could rot for all you cared at the end of the day, all you wanted was to look up and see your sister's smile and her happiness in life blossom. She more than anyone deserved it. 

“I think you’ll be great at it.” You encouraged as you rested your chin on your hand, always happy to see her bounce in excitement as you yawned, your body was used to your demanding schedule but it was always more than happy to welcome a few extra hours of sleep.”

Hearing the door loudly slam close caused you both to jump, Nanami hurriedly crawled back in bed, pretending to be asleep as you frowned. Your dad must’ve come back home from wherever he was. 

“Y/n! Just stay here! Can’t you talk to him later?” Nanami looked scared, she always did when he was around. But you weren’t about to stand down to the bastard any day of the week, you offered a weak smile as you replied. 

“It’s fine Nami, I’ll be just a few minutes.” You replied, you knew that she knew, that was probably a lie. But you’d try your best, for her sake at least. But somebody had to put this guy in his place occasionally and it was always you. It results in a lot of screaming sometimes, other times he’d break down in tears or on a bad occasion you’d get shoved to the ground, a few times hit. Nothing major. 

Walking out of the room you leaned against the wall of the entrance of the hallway watching your father stumble around in the living room, “Did you finally talk to the loan company?” You called out as you asked, not in a forgiving mood tonight. He had said he’d do this for two weeks in a row. The company that sank your whole family into the ground. The reason your mother couldn’t take it anymore and put a blade to her wrist. 

Your father stood up, looking a little wobbly, obviously drunk, “Now listen here little girl I don’t have shit to own to you or anyone else.” You sighed as you tucked your tongue into your cheek, annoyance flowing inside you as you straightened up. You weren’t going to be bullied into being scared of this guy. 

“Actually you do,” Your smile twisted into something more sharp, more bitter and sinister as you walked forward, “See, if you hadn’t of gotten involved in something shady like loan sharks we wouldn’t be drowning in debt and mom wouldn’t have killed herself because of you and both your daughters wouldn’t hate you. I know you drink away all our money in some pathetic attempt to escape from the cold reality that you fucked up your whole life and watched your family slip from your fingers while not even trying to do anything other then put us in further shit,” You closed your eyes as you tilted your head, “But the least you could do, is admit that. You owe us at least that for being a total fuck up.” 

You opened your eyes to find pure rage brewing in your fathers eyes as you smiled once more, this time a false sense of sickly sweet tone to it as you shrugged, “Or you could live in denial, at this point, there really isn’t anything you can do to get anyone back ♡ ” 

You had turned around, planning to tell Nanami that maybe she should go sleep over at a friends house today but you never got the chance, suddenly being slammed into the wall and flecks of spit hitting your face, “I am your fucking father! I deserve respect from you and your worthless sister! Do you know how much I provide for you both?” 

Anger splintered through your veins as you grabbed onto his wrists, his fingers digging into your neck as you squirmed, “Like fucking what!? A shitty broken down apartment that your vacant from because you’re too fucking ashamed of yourself to even look at us sober!?” 

Much like years in the past you weren’t surprised to hear Nanami cry as she rushed out of the room at the sound of you both screaming, “Stop!” She cried out, trying to break you both up, “Stop! Don’t fight! Why…! Why can’t we all just get along!” She sobbed only for your dad to shove her down making her curl up in defeat. 

Alarm bells were triggered in your head at the sight of Nanami on the ground, she had never actually gotten hurt while in your sight and it was triggering something deep inside you as you watched him stalk up to her. Your hands shaking and rage boiling in your mind as you grabbed the closet thing you could find. An empty beer bottle on the table. 

Your vision blurred and you don’t quite remember what happened other than glass shattering over his head and the brute force of you shoving something before blood was stained on your hands. 

How did you end up sitting against the wall? Why was there….blood on your hands…? Your fingers trembled at the metallic sticky substance. All you could hear were Nanami’s sobs and cries as she frantically pushed herself away from the body slumped on the ground. 

“You…! He…!” Nanami’s eyes brimmed with tears as you heard a loud boom making you jump, your eyes darting to the open window where….fireworks, big and bold crashed and crackled before you felt like you were sucked into a vortex making your whole vision black out. 

Your head felt fuzzy and there was ringing in your ears as you groaned, curling up into yourself as the darkness beckoned you closer before you forcibly opened your eyes. You were laying against the hardwood floor. Beams of light streaked through the window and you could see dust particles in the air against the shower of sunshine that streamed in. 

...Wait...Light? The thought had perplexed your head enough to make you push up from the ground, memories pulling into your mind as your breath became shallow, suddenly looking to the side where...you slumped against the wall. It must’ve just been a bad dream….your eyes flickered to Nanami’s curled up figure...a really vivid dream…? Something wrenched in your gut as you rubbed your eyes. What happened? “Nami…!” You whispered, forcing your muscles to move despite their protest as she whined. 

After another moment she reluctantly opened her eyes, flickering around before she suddenly scrambled up, taking a deep breath as if realizing what had happened before, looking towards where your dad once was she frowned, “...I...What…” She seemed just as perplexed as you and if her face was anything to go by, last night had obviously happened, “Is dad…” She looked at the absent place of the floor. 

Leaning against the wall your eyes darted around the room, “I guess so…” You silently felt relief at knowing your dad was still very much alive as you leaned back as you closed your eyes, trying to remember what had happened before everything went dark...oh..! The fireworks...had it been a celebration last night? Your brows pinched together, something felt...off...getting up you opened the door to the apartment walking out. 

“Y/n? Y/n! Hey! Where are you going!” Nanami called out, quickly chasing after you as you frowned, cars were parked odd and there was no one out on the street...as in...at all...Something was very wrong and you couldn’t figure out what. 

“Wow...it..must be a slow day…” Nanami felt a sense of discomfort at the lack of life as you both walked down the side walk, it didn’t just feel like a slow day it felt, apocalyptic. As if humanity just left on it’s own leaving nothing but an empty city behind. Cars were parked on the curb and a few even left in the street.

“No, it’s like everyone vanished...This is really weird.” You wrapped your arms around yourself as you frowned, looking around as you came closer to where typically it would be a booming part of the downtown but it was empty, just as everything before. 

“Well, maybe it’s a national holiday?” Nanami rubbed her head, trying to make sense of the situation just as much as you, surely everyone wasn’t...gone...right? She looked around as she bit her lip, second guessing herself at all the cars that were vacant, “Hey Y/n.” 

You paused as you looked at your sister, curving an eyebrow as she offered a weak smile, “What if everyone got raptured away like they talk about in christanity?” Your expression flattened as she giggled, obviously getting a rise out of you as you crossed your arms. 

Raptured? Where? To heaven? “Wouldn’t it be fire and brimstone then if that was the case?” Nanami pouted at your words as you shrugged, snickering yourself at her expression, the tables now turned as you sighed, “I don’t think there’s anyone left in Tokyo...I mean, it feels like...we’d have seen someone by now...right?” 

“Well…” Nanami frowned once more, a little disturbed at your words as she spoke, “There’s no way everyone could be gone I mean, where would they go? And how could we miss something like that...Maybe the police found us and now we’re under some weird simulation.” 

Chills spilled down your spine as you shoved her making her whine, “Don’t say that! That makes me feel all weird…! I didn’t…!” You cut yourself off, you didn’t what? Murder your own dad in cold blood...you looked down at your hands, they were free of any blood but it still felt like something like sin lingered. Like no matter where you went, it would always be stuck to you.

You didn’t like this, not one bit. Briefly you felt the urge to go hunt down your dad, he was a deadbeat but you would never...you’d never kill him....Right?

“Well…” Nanami hummed her eyes scanning ahead before they jumped to the mall that was up ahead, “Hey…! If nobody is here...maybe we could make use of it! Come on! Let's go!” You yelped at her grabbing your arm before dragging you ahead. Cars were all parked and yet not a single person exited through the mall's entrance. Something just felt off! You wrapped your arms around yourself as you warily looked around the empty mall, “Nanami I really don’t like this!” You looked around, concern bubbling inside you as she ran ahead into the store, digging through the section of clothes as she giggled. 

“Relax! I doubt any of this is real and even so…! Who’s going to stop us!?” She shrugged as she bounced in excitement, “Oh my god! I had dreamed of something like this happening! Now we can do whatever we want! Go wherever we want! Y/n!” She gasped with a smile, “Now we don’t even have to worry about money!” 

“We don’t even know if this is permanent.” You looked around warily, not partaking as she began plucking off the racks, “Regardless of what this is, I don’t like it. I want to go back home, our home. This just doesn’t…” You shook your head, “This just doesn’t feel right.” 

“Well you can feel that way!” Nanami clacked her tongue as she gave a childish smile, “But I’m gonna go through this whole store and get a new wardrobe so feel free to sit on the bench and tell me what you think looks good!” 

Looking away you sighed, unable to pinch the anxious feeling you had away as you sat down reluctantly as Nanami went into the changing room. Well...at least she was smiling and she was happy...With each outfit Nanami tried out and giggled, you giggled with her and maybe things weren’t so bad after all…

“What a perfect day.” Nanami hugged you close as she sighed, yawning as you looked up at the sky in awe, you had seen a single star while living in Tokyo before, but now it was filled with constellations and millions of stars that stretched for miles. You could stare at it for days and days. The sun had just set a little over half an hour ago and you were ready to retire and find something to eat at the apartment. 

You and Nanami had tried going to the food court but much to your dismay everything had been...rotten...soiled and ruined, meaning there was no point in trying to find anything there and you were getting really hungry despite devouring bags of chips you had both got at the convenient store, another thing that stood out to you was that there was no electricity...at all..

Looking back up to the sidewalk something caught your eyes...was that…! Light!? “Hey! Nanami look!” You shook her making her squeak as she looked up ahead, “It’s the hospital! They have electricity there which means there’s other people! Of course! Why didn’t we think to check essential areas!? Come on! Lets go! I wanna figure out what happened.” 

“Alright! It sucks that this is already over but at least I can finally charge my phone, the battery is pretty low.” Nanami nodded in agreement as you both made your way up the road. 

The walk wasn’t too far and you felt excitement fill you at the sight of the hospital all lit up as you walked into the entrance, a frown slowly setting on your lips once more as you walked past the receptionist desk and…! Oh there’s other people! 

You felt relief wash over your as you ran up, there were at least seven other other people here at least! “Hey! Guys oh my god. I thought everyone was gone! What’s going on?” You asked, smiling bright in relief that you and Nanami weren’t the only ones left behind. Was this some kind of evac point or…?

Silence ensued and you slowly began to frown as you felt everyone stare at you as if you were insane, “Um…” You wrapped a hand around your arm, suddenly feeling as if everyone knew something you didn’t, “What’s going on…?” You furrowed your brows as you tilted your head, unsure of why everyone was looking at you like this. 

Somebody looked like they were going to talk to you, a guy relatively around your age but a woman stopped him- his girlfriend maybe? “Stop, the less that know the better chance we have.” She said quietly though you still heard just enough. Fear twisted inside you as you took a cautious step back...The...the less you knew? 

“Wow, you guys are assholes,” A girl suddenly whistled out, she was sitting in a waiting chair, a cowboy hat on her head paired with distressed jeans and...a bikini top? Strange but you’d roll with it if it meant getting answers. She stood up as she offered a smile, “Akari, nice to meet ya’. You folk must be new to the Borderlands huh?” She jutted her bottom lip a little as you frowned. 

“Um I’m Y/n and this is my sister Nanami...?” You introduced yourself despite feeling confused as you raised a brow, “Borderlands…?” You echoed, what was that supposed to be? Other than Tokyo?

Akari gave a nod as she let out a brief chuckle, as if amused by your confusion but you sensed she had no real ill will unlike....your eyes checked to the couple that stood off in the corner on their own, “That’s what they call it here,” She nodded in affirmation as your eyes darted back to her in confusion, “To be frank with ya’, I don’t have a damn clue what's going on. Nobody does. But ever since you crossed the threshold there’s no going back, so I’ll be brief. We’re all considered outsiders here and we participate in games at venues such as this to extend our stay.”

Nanami and you looked at one another confused as Akari waved you over to the table in front of a TV, “Here, you’ll wanna put these on, it’s for the game.” She explained as you carefully picked up the metal bracelet, something about it felt ominous as you reluctantly put it on, jumping at the way it latched together and there was no getting it off now, “Word of advice, just don’t panic and you probably won’t die.” 

“What?!” You screeched as Akari smacked your back, panic evident in your voice as you turned around to face her making her laugh again, this girl was insane! She had to be! “You’re…! You’re joking!” 

Akari wrinkled her nose as she tilted her head, “Ah shit, I wish I was- Oh…! There’s the last player!” Just on que everyone turned to look at who had arrived, someone heaving breaths with their hands on their knees as if they had sprinted. You were mildly worried at why he seemed so scared but you had a feeling that was the least of your problems right now.

“Y/n what’s going on…?” Nanami frightened grabbed your arm as she hid a little behind you due to all these immensing strangers that looked like they were ready to feed you to the sharks, literally. 

The guy walked past you both as he put on his bracelet, your eyes sharp as you watched it latch together automatically, your gaze jumping to everyone's wrists to notice you were all now wearing one. The TV suddenly lit up. 

Game 

You squinted your eyes a little at the sight of the screen, just what were you about to unwillingly participate in…?

Difficulty: 5♣

“The game you will be participating in is, Monster under the bed.”

A playing card? Monster under the bed? Your brows furrowed as you looked at Nanami who shrugged a little despite her concerned expression, looking just as confused as you. You could’ve made a joke out of this, surely it would’ve been easier. Maybe everyone would bust out laughing and you’d be at the end of a poor joke but...somehow you felt that wasn’t the case. Thus paying very close attention to whatever was on this screen, 

“Everyone will be sectioned off into pairs by the number chosen on your bracelet, when the doors to the ward open you will have three rounds ten minutes each to figure out who is the monster under the bed that must be returned to its own, once the ten minutes is up you must hide before you are found. If the selected pair that is the monster is chosen correctly it’s a Game Clear.  If the monster is not found by the end of the third round or if the pair fails to hide it’s a Game Over.” 

Rules: 

Once the doors are open you and your partner must find a hiding spot by the time limit

Both partners must be hidden. If one is exposed to the monster it’s a Game Over for both partners

There will be an X marked on the ground to place the monster of your guess onto. 

You will have three rounds of ten minutes each to find the monster.

Any attempt to remove bracelets results in a Game Over

If the monster is not found by the third round a Game Over.

The only Game Clear condition required is for the monster to be returned by the third round.

What…

What!? 

“Now the game will commence, you have five minutes to figure out who you have been paired up with before the doors open.”

Your mind was blanking as you watched everyone look down at their bracelet, hurriedly you lifted your arm as your mind blanked 2 looking back at Nanami her lips were already quivering as she sniffled lifting her arm in defeat as your lips dropped open, 5.

“Hey! Guess you’re my partner!” Akari grinned as she wrapped an arm around Nanami who sniffled, “Oh…” She looked between you both, “Oh! Oh don’t worry! We’re not the monster so I’ll make sure your sister lives! You should go find your partner.” 

Your hands trembled unsure of what to do before you went to hug Nanami, “Whatever happens just stay calm okay! I need to go find my partner now!” You whispered, kissing her cheek as she sniffled while nodding. 

Everybody was shuffling around looking for their partner now, you passed by a few people, 4, 1, 3...did you even have a partner…? You scanned around, your throat tightening a little in panic, there had to be a mistake! There were only 8 people surrounding you- you yelped at the tight grip that suddenly held your arm forcing you to turn around to be met with a white hooded figure, a lollipop handle hanging and earbuds in before sighing, “So it appears I’m stuck with someone useless.” The man concluded as he stood up making you back away a little as your lips parted somewhat indignantly. 

How...how rude! You looked up, unable to fully make out his face but you could tell you didn’t like him one bit, “I’ll…! First of all I’m not useless! I’m just trying to understand what's going on! This is insane! We aren’t actually going to die from this, are we!?” Pushing his hood down you were immediately met with a snide gaze and cat eyes that leered at you like you were nothing more then dirt beneath his feet, long blonde hair pushed behind his shoulders and his bangs hanging low, suddenly a viscous side smile appeared on his lips, “Apparently so, otherwise I wouldn’t have watched half my last game get their brains blown out and the other half hung.” 

You reeled a little away from the blonde, your face dropped in semi horror, unsure if this was just a sick joke or he was serious. You searched his face a thousand times over, but for the first time in your life, you couldn’t figure out what his goal was. You couldn’t figure out anything about him, except he was exceptionally cold, “Well I don’t suppose I have much choice to doubt you,” He said with an annoying sing song tone as he rattled his wrist that showed the bracelet with a matching 2 on it, “My name is Chishiya, just stay out of my way and we’ll both live.” 

How arrogant! You scoffed as he walked past you, not the least bit bothered at your offense as you whipped around, glaring at his back. How come out of everyone you got stuck with the most…! Pompous! Arrogant! Ugh! You crossed your arms as you followed behind him, stilling secretly sending daggers into his back with your eyes as everyone shuffled into the ward. 

Hospital beds were scattered around the room, a few closets and one large vent at the bottom right corner of the room ahead. 

“Wait, what is this?” The first person to speak was a fair thin older gentleman, he appeared friendly as he observed the room around him, everyone looked around in confusion as you noticed what he meant. 

Any possible hiding spot was covered by either sheets of metal or locked tight...How were any of you supposed to hide if…!? The rules mentioned nothing about solving puzzles to gain access to a hiding spot!

“Forget that,” Another man said with a sneer he was broad and a bit older, well into his late twenties at least, perhaps a gym coach? Or maybe a wrestler of some sort? He looked like he could break you and nearly every other person in this room like a twig, “We need to figure out who’s the monster. “ He cracked his knuckles as you leered a little away and nobody spoke for a second. 

Of course, who would out themselves as the monster, more importantly, how does one even know they’re the monster? You could immediately feel tension rise as the previous, more patient man spoke, a little more collected, “How about we just check one another's’ watches! If anywhere it would show us on that! One pair should work on solving these puzzles here so everyone has a place to hide” 

“Unless the monster is among us and it sabotages us so we all die by the time limit.” The girlfriend crossed her arms as she darted her eyes around. Truthfully you didn’t know what to believe, the wording on the soundbox was rather confusing as to just what were you looking for. Was the monster supposed to be in the group or it’s own entity?

“If that were the case it would’ve showed up on our watches, which it didn’t. So that won’t work.” Chishiya spoke matter of fact, his tone cool as his eyes gazed across the room before he walked away from the group inspecting various hiding spots granted you didn’t think he was about to help anyone but himself, if anything you were at least lucky that him securing a hiding spot meant it was one for you as well. 

You looked at everyone in confusion, some arguing while others scattered to look for a hiding spot as the clock ticked down. You breathed in relief at the sight of Nanami and Akari both going for a bed to hide under. Your gaze finally found Chishiya’s form before following him, unsure of what you were supposed to do, if anything outside trying to figure out just what the monster even was. 

You glanced up at the digital clock that stood above the entrance you had just come in from, it was already a minute in before you searched the floor where you found a red X in the center of the room, that must’ve been the...what? Offering spot? You cringed a little at the idea. Looking forward you peered behind Chishiya’s shoulder deciding to not think about that, it seemed the metal sheet that had wrapped around the bed and was sealed to the ground was locked by some sort of metal device…? Contraption? Lock?

“Isn’t hiding under a bed a bit obvious…?” You frowned as you crossed your arms, unsure as you looked behind your shoulder once more to where accusations were already being thrown in the group. 

“The vent is a decoy to make you waste time, I already checked,” Chishiya replied, his fingers nimble as they rattled the metal, “And even if someone were to accomplish it in the time limit it’s the most obvious spot the monster would first check. Next would be the closet given it’s at eye level and the first thing one is drawn too when they walk into a room.” 

Your lips parted a little in surprise at his assessment...obviously he wasn’t just overconfident, “And why this spot?” If he had really thought about all this in less than a minute then...did he have a reason for this spot? You now found yourself, slightly less annoyed and a little more curious as to what was going on in his mind. 

“If the monster were to check a bed it would be after his eyes are drawn to the closet. Next in that line of sight would be the vent directly across it, which would be his next place to look if not his first and vice versa. The beds are all staggered throughout the room making them less conspicuous compared to the other hiding places, the bed on the far end of the room would be no good.” 

Your brows furrowed in curiosity at his assessment as you watched Chishiya blow a piece of hair from his face, wiggling out one piece of the knotted metal, “It’s too far from the entrance where as the one in the middle is by average the one most people would start with, where as the first? It’s almost too soon in the start to look there thus making it the safest.” 

“It’s them! They’re over there conspiring!” You both twisted around to watch the broad man point an accusing finger at you both as your eyes darted from him to the clock on the wall, which read at six minutes. A few other pairs, relievingly so was your sister had started working on a hiding spot while a few others stood around and argued. 

Your face coiled a little as you replied, not appreciating the accusation to such a baseless accusation, did they not realize the longer they argued the less time they had to secure a hiding spot? “Someone who’s terrible at playing the minority would often be the first to point fingers. There’s only six minutes left before the first round is over and we need to hide. But if you want to talk about this then sure,” 

You stepped closer as you crossed your arms, scanning over him before continuing, “Let’s talk about the chances of you being the monster, ever since you first came in you’ve been all twitchy and acting like something is wrong. Even when we first got paired up, you seemed a little panicked. Anyways,” You turned around as you spoke, “How do we know one pair is a monster and not one single person?” 

“Eh,” Akari sat on the bed that her and Nanami chose as Nanami fumbled to work out the puzzle, she had always been good at those! You felt assured as your heart beat frantically at the idea of them not being able to get a hiding spot in time, “Let’s all calm down,” She gave an awkward laugh, “This isn’t a hearts game, we shouldn’t divide our trust. This is a team building after all which means this game should be making us work together, the last thing we need to do is throw that away on our own accord.” 

“...Team building?” You frowned as you murmured having not been aware that this was some sort of game category...Hearts? Clubs? The memory of the playing card flashing on the screen appeared in your mind again, right...was that to stand for some kind of game genre? If Clubs stood for team building then...there should be no reason that the monster is any of you. Why would they even suggest that to begin with?

Then...what was the monster? 

“One minute remaining.”

The lights suddenly began flickering, “Got it.” Chishiya yanked the last piece of metal undone as he pulled the sheet of metal off, everyone was now scrambling and the few who had not done their puzzle were now panicking. Getting down you crawled under the bed, your back flat to the ground as you inhaled sharply as you noticed the lights beginning to dim, “This is...uncomfortable.” You mumbled, trying to ignore being pressed shoulder to shoulder with a man you didn’t even know besides him having a god complex, “We should’ve went with the vent.” 

“By all means, if you want to try and get yourself killed already. Go for it.” You turned to look at him, dark endless cat eyes meeting you as you harshly glared at him, why was he so condescending!? 

You were about to snap back something before you realized it was completely dark and the door slammed open causing you to jump. Was your heart always this loud? You could see the heavy boots step against the ground making you unsteadily inhale, swallowing as you closed your eyes. You could only place your trust that Chishiya hadn’t picked a horrible spot. 

More importantly your mind was plagued with worry for your sister, you had been so caught up you hadn’t even tried to help her yet...did she even…! You heard a sudden loud scream from two people causing you to stiffen as you looked up at the bed frame lined with wooden planks. You could only cower back down at blood suddenly painting the floor.

Your stomach suddenly churned as you covered your mouth. So he wasn’t lying. Chishiya however looked just as nonpulsed as he did when he first told you himself, his eyes blankly staring up at the bed frame as if this was just a regular game of hide and seek as people screamed as they were torn apart. 

Or that’s at least what you assumed it was. 

After an agonizing few minutes the doors finally closed and the lights flickered back on making you breath in relief as you waited a moment, could you even bear to face what was waiting on the floor? You winced a little before something caught your eye. What was with all this extra wood stuck in the frame? 

Chishiya had already gotten out from under the bed and before you suddenly heard a few girls scream, your sister among them making you puff and breath as you scrambled from beneath the bed.

Standing up your mouth agape at the horrid sight of the female and the broad male that had been too focused on accusing others, they didn’t have...enough time...it looked like they had been completely mutilated, blood pouring on the floor and the smell made you want to gag as you looked away. 

“Well, now what do we do.” Akari scratched her head, also not looking phased that two people had just been brutally killed. Your eyes stayed placed on the bodies before they slowly trailed to your hands, the memory of blood staining them still fresh in your mind. 

“Well we have to figure out where the monster is?” The girlfriend of the couple spoke up, she looked around somewhat suspiciously, “But I’m not sure where we could find it? Maybe it has to do with the bracelets? Maybe there’s a clue hidden.” 

“Oh what about in the cabinets?” The collected man from before offered as he went to search the cabinets, your frown furthered as you glanced around. Everyone was now getting along, still on edge but along at least. 

Chishiya only leaned against the wall, his hands in his pocket as he rolled the lollipop in his mouth, his gaze the same steely one it was before as if he had done his job in securing his temporary salvation and was now done. 

Or maybe he just didn’t know what to do? It was obvious his strength didn’t lie in teamwork, clearly. But then again, you weren’t sure what was going on, you couldn’t get a read on him. Crossing your arms you stayed beside him, your eyes briefly washing over your sister who was working Akari to dig through a desk together. 

“Cabinets and drawers are too obvious.” 

Chishiya’s eyes flickered to your figure, his expression just as cold if not...a little smug maybe? He said nothing in return as you continued, “If we’re looking for a monster, it’s obvious it’s a metaphor for something. Inanimate most likely,” Your eyes flickered around the room, inhaling sharply, why did it feel like the answer was right in front of you? 

Think…! You glanced at the clock, only six minutes left. The rounds were really short…! “It’d be something small and inconspicuous, something that’s in plain sight….but easy to miss...and the game said it was a pair which means there’s more than likely two.” 

“Three,” You glanced at Chishiya as he spoke, pulling the lollipop from his mouth, that permanent smug look on his face as he answered, “Two is what they want you to think and if you spend a round searching for each like they hope it’s game over by three.” 

You rubbed your neck as you frowned, “It’s already the second round and we haven’t even found one…” You glanced around before you suddenly perked up, “Wait…!” Getting back down on the floor you laid on your back as you pushed yourself under the bed, “Chishiya! Help me get this thing out!” 

Within a moment the blonde appeared as well, his eye sharp and keen as they noticed straight away what you were tugging at, “You think this is the monster?” 

You looked at him as you raised a brow, “We have less than four minutes left on our second round, you have a better idea?” Chishiya said no more but helped regardless, successfully with the both of you maneuvering it around from beneath the wooden boards you managed to get it out. 

Holding it up you looked at it, “It’s a poppet doll.” You turned to face him as you smiled in accomplishment, “They’re typically used as curses to place upon people in folklore. If anything is a monster, this would be it.” 

Excited at your first victory you pulled out from beneath the bed as you waved it up, “Hey guys! We need to start looking for something similar to this! If not a replica.” Everyone huddled around you examining the doll before the microphone sounded, “One minute remaining.”

Everyone had immediately scrambled back to their hiding place as you ran to the red X, placing the poppet on it, that's the reason that had to be there right!? You’d just have to see, hurriedly you ran back to your spot under the bed. Making it just in time as the lights flickered off. 

The door slamming open once more as you slowly inhaled, it had to work right? If not...then you were at a loss for what to search for and you were utterly screwed. 

The boots stomped against the floor past the bed as you closed your eyes, unable to calm yourself. After a moment you heard a screech and something rip open before screams followed making you jump. Chishiya’s eyes were on the feet that stood by the closet that had been obviously ripped open. 

You heard the sound of something wet and a gurgle before a body slumped to the floor and you could hear begging before something got snapped in half causing you to close your eyes once more...Did you make it angry!? Was that not it? Fuck. You had never felt this stressed before as it roamed around, passing in front of your bed as you tensed.

Was this your last moment alive? Truly? 

Much to your relief, the door closed once more before the lights followed, flickering on, relaxing a little you sighed as you reluctantly got out from underneath the bed with Chishiya to see what had happened. Much to your horror it was the man who had been so kind this whole game and his partner. 

The monster didn’t check anywhere in the first round, yet he did this round? You tried to block out the bodies slumped in the corner as you glanced at the red X, the poppet doll gone. 

“Why- why were they killed!” Nanami’s eyes began to water as she grabbed her head, “This makes no sense!” 

“If it accepts the doll that means we only need two more. What happened to them is irrelevant.” Chishiya stuffed his hands back into his pocket as you glared at him sideways, not appreciating his careless tone. You could deal with it, but you didn’t want your sister dragged into it. 

Grabbing your chin you thought about it for a moment, “Well...the game said to return the monster to its own and…” You glance down at the X, was there some kind of unsaid rule that if you didn’t get all three of them on the first try that it would start hunting down players? “How would a mother feel if they only returned one of its children?” 

“This thing doesn’t have feelings,” The girlfriend of the partners replied coldly, her eyes like steel of her own as she clung to her boyfriend, “It’s as he said,” She waved to Chishiya, “It doesn’t matter, we’ll be like them if we don’t figure this out.” 

You glanced around the room, “Tell me this, if it doesn’t matter, then why did they give us all these different hiding spots?” Everyone was silent, all eyes on you as if your question didn’t make any sense, your eyes flickered to the clock that was nearing eight minutes, you didn’t have time to monologue, “No think about it. The monster never intended to look for us- that was never stated in the rules. So why did they give us all of these choices if we only needed one per pair? My point being, if we found one poppet in our hiding spot then...You get where I’m going with this? Chishiya.” 

He glanced up at you acknowledgement as you curved a brow, your lips threatening to tug into a smile as you tilted your head, “How confident are you in solving that vent?” 

He glanced back down and for the first time, you watch a cocky wide smirk twist onto his lips, “You’re lucky to have someone as smart as me here to be able to open it.” You tucked your tongue into your cheek as in annoyance as he sauntered over to the vent already getting to work, “As for everyone else, we need to open up as many of these as possible to find the other two.” 

Everyone immediately scrambled to get to work, with only seven minutes on the clock this was...going to be difficult. First Nanami and Akari searched all the opened spots as you worked on another bed. Rubbing your head as muttered, “Shit...I never was good with puzzles.” You awkwardly hung your head in defeat temporarily, briefly letting your eyes shift to Chishiya who was fiddling with several locks, his gaze sharp and you couldn’t even imagine all the calculations going on in his mind. You were somewhat envious of what it would be like to be that perceptive to anything adhering to logic and solution. 

“Aha! Found one!” Akari yanked the poppet from the top of the closest as Nanami covered her mouth, looking like she was gonna throw up being so close to so many dead bodies. You ignored the grisly sight at the second victory of the poppet doll. Akari quickly placed it on the X as you began to work on the puzzle once more, looking up at the clock. Oh no...Oh no there was only three minutes left!

“Chishiya! Hows that puzzle coming along.” You called out, trying not to sound alarmed but you could see the clear cut annoyance on his face as he continued working through the locks, “If you’d like to help while struggling on a novice lock feel free.” He replied condescendingly, not appreciating the pressure. 

You rolled your eyes with huff as you finally managed to get it undone, feeling triumphant as you searched under the bed but there was no luck, “There’s nothing here!”

“Or here!” 

Several people called out as well as you rubbed your head, standing up, “If the only other place that hasn’t been searched is the vent then maybe there’s only two? It did say a pair.” You felt a lump of anxiety well in your chest at the sight of the clock ticking close to a minute and half. 

“Should we really take the risk?” The boyfriend asked as he rubbed his neck, concern on his face as he looked around, “If we’re wrong then we’ll all…” 

You hadn’t even thought of that…

“...! Hey.” You turned to Chishiya who seemed to be trying to get your attention making you immediately come over, if he was asking for you it’d have to be for something important given there was nearly less then two minute on the clock, “Hold this right here.” He immediately pushed your hand onto the lock right where he wanted it, “This is a two handle mechanism meaning that there needs to be two people unlocking it. Push down and out at the same time.”

“Hide! Everyone needs to hide now!”

The lights were beginning to flicker as everyone scrambled to hide, stress evidently put on your shoulders now more than ever. You could only hope he was right with your life on the line, “Now!” You pushed down on your side, the lock sliding as you pulled out, pulling a piece of metal holding up the lock directly out as Chishiya did the same with his side. 

The lock fell off as well as the metal of the gate of the vent, you immediately with no hesitation leaned inside it was dark and hard to make it out anything besides the steep drop off. So he was right, this was a waste of time for a hiding place. 

Looking down you caught sight of wood before laughing in relief, “It’s here! Wait shit! Chishiya! It’s too far down in the vent, you’re gonna have to lower me down to reach it. Time?” 

“Forty five seconds.” You felt unfamiliar hands on your hips lifting you up as you were lowered down, “We have time.” 

You squinted trying to see as you reached down, “Lower me further! I’m not quite in reach,” Your muscles began to ache in your shoulder as you reached harder, growling in frustration, “Time!?” You were lowered a little further, the wooden poppet brushing against your fingers. 

“Thirty seconds! Could you go a little faster?” 

“Could you lower me a little quicker- Ah! Hey did you almost let go!?” You snarled back, grabbing the poppet doll, giving a good yank as it lodged in between the crevice it was in, “Get me back up! I got it. Time!” 

“Twenty seconds.” Chishiya called back, pulling you up as you gasped, pain from the metal jabbing into your stomach evident as you were met with a darkening room. Setting your feet firmly on the floor your eyes flew to the flock fifteen seconds and your spot was all the way across the room….! 

“Where are we supposed to hide!? We can’t get all the way there in time!” You hissed out running to the X as you dropped the poppet down. The lights shut off as the final five seconds counted down and before you could do anything you were shoved to the floor as you squeaked. Your body throbbing in pain and your mouth immediately covered as you were met with the coverage of a bed but neither one of you were bold enough to try and scramble beneath it as the doors slammed open. 

Fuck.

Your whole body was tense as your eyes squeezed shut, you were just a little ahead of the X here, if this is all the poppet dolls...they’d have no reason to go further into the room...unless...Your hand squeezed tight around the wrist of the hand that covered your mouth as you tried to calm yourself at the loud thudded footsteps. 

It was quiet for a moment before you heard more walking before the doors closed. 

“Game Cleared”

The lights turned on as you fell limp against the side of the bed, Chishiya’s hand removed from mouth as you pushed your hair from your face, closing your eyes as you breathed in relief, “Holy shit.” Was all you could mutter to yourself, you had never been more grateful to breathe air in your whole life. 

“I guess you weren’t that useless after all huh.” Chishiya clacked his tongue as you turned your head to look at him, raising your brows as your face contorted into something between insult and amusement. 

You’ve only known this man for a half an hour and yet...something about his words, if you dug down deep past that smug expression of his, was this a compliment? Looking away you pressed your tongue into your cheek, trying to keep from smiling, “Yeah, and you’re still conceited and arrogant but, I guess you have a good reason to be.” You glanced back at him again but you could hardly hold his gaze, something in that brief moment was electrified between you both as you laughed somewhat sheepishly, closing your eyes as you looked away once more. 

What the fuck was even wrong with you? If this was back before today you would’ve totally kicked this guy in the balls and went about your day.

“Y/n!” You straightened up at the sound of Nanami’s voice, your expression brightening as you stood up, quickly running to her as you hugged her tight, “I can’t believe that just happened…” She whispered to you as she pressed her face into your neck. You couldn’t either but, you were thankful you had survived this game. Whatever it was. 

“Come on, let's get out of this room.” You tugged on her arm, no longer wanting to be in this death room despite knowing it was all over. Pulling her out you paused at the sight of the TV and a...register…? You bracelet unlocked as you took it off, tossing it on the table as you tilted your head. 

“Congratulations Game ''Clear ``.''

“...Now issuing visas to those who survived the game…?” You furrowed your brows as you glanced at Nanami who rubbed her head in confusion. You grabbed the receipt as you looked it over with a frown before picking up the 5 of clubs playing card along with it. Odd. 

“It’s how many days you’re allowed to stay now! Almost a whole week, that's a good score for a first game!” Akari called out as she patted your back making you jump a little. 

Almost a whole week…”Until we have to play again to...continue our stay?” You raised a brow, deciding not to ask what happens if you refused. While you had many questions, you had a feeling you knew the answer to that one. 

A part of you couldn’t even believe this had happened, or was it all still a dream. 

“Hey…! Sorry for all of that in there,” You turned to see...oh…! It was the boyfriend of the partner, the gifrlfriend stayed behind looking brooding, “I’m Ryu and that’s my girlfriend Hiroko I was...ah…” He faltered a little, rubbing the back of his neck as his gaze flittered to his girlfriend who was glaring him down, “You should stop by the Beach- I...I think you guys would make good additions! Bye!” He hurried not even finishing his original sentence before scurrying off making you furrow your brows at what he even meant. 

“The hell?” Akari raised a brow as she watched the guy run off, “Seems to me he wanted to chat more…guess we know who's really pulling balls in that relationship.” 

Nanami suddenly snickered, covering her mouth as she giggled, “Hey Akari! Why don’t we stay together! We did really well in the game together!” 

“Awh shit, if you guys really want me too!” Akari offered a quirky smile as you laughed, you had no problems with someone staying behind with you. Looking past Akari your smile faded a little at the sight of a white hoodie exiting the entrance. 

“Hey- I’ll be right back!” You pushed past the both of them who paid you no mind as you pushed out of the exit and down the stone steps, not sure why your feet were making you chase after such an egotistical man but…!

“Chishiya!” You called out, making the man pause, he turned around, pulling the earbuds out as he glanced up from his hoodie, raising his brows in acknowledgement, “Um…” Why did you even chase after him…? You stepped down the last step as you wrapped your arms around yourself. 

It was silent for a moment as you berated yourself internally for why you seemed so speechless all of a sudden. Chishiya however didn’t seem to mind, his eyes absent now as he stared up at the hospital, “I used to do my clinical rotations here.” 

You were broken out of your silent thrashing of internal humiliation as you raised your brows, lips parting in curiosity as you asked, “You were a doctor?” 

“No,” Chishiya snorted, that amused calico look of his on his face once more as he looked down at you, “I was a medical student. Training to be a doctor but that obviously didn’t happen…” His lips curved into a frown, his eyes cold once more as they looked back up at the building, “I came here tonight to see if anyone I knew would be here.” 

“Oh…” You looked away, feeling somewhat awkward and unsure of how to reply to him as silence took over once more beside the occasional rustling of the wind in the tree’s, the urge to speak overtaking you to the point you couldn't resist, “Chishiya...I…” You looked away, feeling somewhat bashful, “We...made a really good team back there.” You forced yourself to look up at him as you offered a bright yet subtly shy smile, “If you want...you could stay with us…?” 

Chishiya pulled the lollipop stick from his mouth, letting it drop to the ground as he spoke, “No thanks.” You turned to him in surprise as you frowned a little, you shouldn’t have expected anything less…

“Oh...I understand.” You offered a weak smile as he turned his back on you and began to walk once more, “I just have one more question,” You called out causing him to pause, “...Do you by any chance know about a place called the Beach?”

Note: Whew...! As a lurker in the Alice in borderland fandom I saw a lot of people complaining about the lack of Chishiya fics so I decided to volunteer myself and take on for the team to write a series for this little blonde fucker so PLEASE let me know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy!! Also

#alice in borderland #aib #alice in borderland imagine #alice in borderland x reader #chishiya x reader #chishiya x reader smut #shuntaro chishiya #shuntaro chishiya x reader #aib imagine #aib x reader

[hyukmoon]

moon. | l.sy x gn!reader

lee sangyeon x gn!reader

word count: about 4.01k

to put it short: congrats! Something you should actually say, right? Your best friend and crush is getting married in two days and you feel,... well, not very good about it. So, wait... he's returning the feelings? Damn.

content warning: ANGST in capital letters, I would add lots of exclamation points but im lazy. So yeah, hella angsty. Some good old making out, it's kind of heavy at some point but no smut at this point lol. I don't condone any of the done actions, so yeah, I would've personally handled everything differently, but you know, y/n is kinda wild. Very awkward sometimes, but that's more the situation in itself. ALSO, NOT PROOFREAD

taglist: @loki-in-hogwarts

note: the second thing i wrote and im somewhat excited!!! Yes! Exclamation points. So,... thanks for reading :)

It was a great day. Well, at least seemingly for everyone but you. Your best friend in this world Sangyeon was about to get married to the love of his life, who is notyou and now you just stand in the hotel lobby waiting for it to happen. Funnily enough, the crushing feeling of desperation and fear didn’t seem to set in yet.

The hotel lobby was filled to the brim with acquaintances and other guests possibly confused by the uproar of the wedding guests. So, who were you specifically waiting for? The rest of your friend group, the ones who will most likely clean up after the wedding whatever will be left of you.

A nervous smile swept up to your lips, casually just avoiding every sort of tension that could come across you. Just with the luck of this entire occurrence an older woman started to approach you, demon alike features spreading around her face almost like she knew you were apparently the only single person here. An aunty, that wasn’t even related to you but had all the business to judge.

“Are you here for the bride or the groom?”, her sweet voice rang a familiar feeling in your stomach. Almost too sweet, making you suspicious of her intent. “I’m here for my best friend, Sangyeon. So, yeah, for the groom.”, you hesitated a second, “What about you though? Do you know the bride?”

“She’s my youngest niece, the only one that still visits, her sisters don’t even care anymore…” You nodded politely, not wanting to anger her now and stepped towards a different direction.

“So, my dear, are you here with anybody?” You already feared that question, the same as always. The eyes of yours started with a panicked expression searching through the room a familiar pair. “No, I am here on my own. I kinda wanted to focus on getting Sangyeon through with it, being there for him.” As a friend.

Possibly this was the first part of feeling despair and fear. People at this wedding were really waiting for them to get married. They weren’t joking, this would change everything.

“Ah, I see. You know, get over him. Well, it is time for you at least, you’re not getting younger. There are quite few handsome men here. I remember the names Juyeon and ah yes! Kevin, get over here!” As far as you were concerned, your facial expression couldn’t possibly look more stunned than a moment ago, yet another one of your good friends appeared, seemingly just as confused.

This only held on for a good second, Kevin knew exactly what to do. “Oh hi, I’m so sorry to steal [Y/N] away from you, but I actually need to talk to them on my own over a gift we both prepared for the couple!”, he grinned at the lady, who was obviously smitten with him. “Yes, of course, hun. Take your time.” She finally hushed into a separate direction.

“So, how are we doing? You seem kinda… stressed.”

“You don’t say”, you sighed, “if I have to go through a conversation like this again today, believe me I’ll-. “

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I get the sentiment. Even though I meant more the other situation. Like in, Sangyeon getting married and you sitting here all grumpy because of it.”, Kevin was already aware of your “small” infatuation with your best friend, a man too far out of your reach also funnily enough, the man’s wedding you’re attending. However, your friend in front of you didn’t seem to mind talking about it out loud in a place like the hotel lobby. Your lips tightened up into a fine line.

“I’m not grumpy! I just…I don’t really know what to do. I mean, I know I’m going to be there for him but yeah, okay, I might feel a bit grumpy.” The lobby did clear up a lot now.

“Okay, oof. There’s this dinner with everyone in the evening today, do you think you can get through that?”, Kevin asked hesitantly just as stressed with this additional complication.

“I mean, I probably have to, don’t I? This makes me so sick, ugh. Not gonna lie, my stomach feels like a laundry machine.” You laughed quietly and drifted off again into a place where you didn’t need to think about this.

“What did you really expect though? You know I love you, respectfully, but like, this feels like an incredibly bad move to do.”

“Don’t you think it would be worse if I didn’t show up at all? I’ll just need to go through this weekend and I’m outta here. No one will know anything.” It might feel like a nightmare but at least a nightmare you can actually run away from and not actually have to face at some point.

“Well, I hope you’ll keep your confidence. Because imagine I saw the person, I love getting married to someone else. Oh my, believe me, you wouldn’t find me for the next three weeks.”

“Not very helpful, a good three out of ten. I guess, I’ll just stick to sulking around then.” A dead smile crept up your lips following a stern look from your side at your opposite.

“Seems like a good plan, just stick to me, maybe we will find someone to take your attention away from this, huh?” A sly grin was visible on Kev’s face.

“Ughhh, of course. Let’s do this. It can’t get much worse than that”, you cleared your throat, “thanks, though. You actually make this here somewhat bearable.”

“Awww, come on. We should pack out our suitcases.”

No one can really prepare someone for a moment like this. Most older folk turned into their hotel rooms which left you in a party like situation seeing your closest friends turning it up in a huge pavilion while the future groom sits comfortably on a velvety sofa hand in hand with his fiancée.

The air was quite warm even at this time of the evening, not humid, just warm enough for everyone to taste the end of this era with nostalgia and a slight feeling of energy to experience what’s to come afterwards.

You as well sat down, continuously processing your environment. With a cup of your favorite drink, you felt invincible, nothing able to shake you down.

Now while this wasn’t a preferred environment, this was manageable; you could look your best friend into his eyes and proudly congratulate him on his wedding. You would be able to get over this and continue to be a great friend. Black hair with an intense facial expression made its way into your viewpoint along with a somewhat tipsy Kevin. Simultaneously the lighter hair of your best friend fought his way through the crowd.

Lee Sangyeon, the man lighting up your mood with simple touch of his fingertips was now signalizing for you to head outside towards the veranda of the pavilion. He exuded patience, yet clearly waiting for a response of you. You nodded and brushed cautiously over your evening attire.

“Hii, [Y/N]! Can I introduce this someone to you? This is Juyeon, he might look a bit intense, but he’s really nice to talk to! So, I’m gone for a sec then!” Kevin started drifting off into a different direction where you stopped him in his tracks.

“Could this wait? Sangyeon needs to talk to me. I think it’s important, I’ll come back though in a bit!” You gifted both of them an apologetic face and made your way around the men towards the going to be groom.

Surely it wasn’t exactly clear why he wanted to speak to you, especially on his own. He was still waiting for you after all.

“[Y/N]! What has it been? Like three? Four months? I missed you so much.”, Sangyeon pulled you into his chest abruptly and sighed softly into your shoulder. Engulfed entirely in his figure you never wanted to wake up from this again. Was it now 10 seconds? 15 seconds? Neither he nor you really seemed to let go, taking in all the scents of his that were formerly familiar to you.

“Yeah, I think so. You were probably busy planning this all and I just had to work, I guess.” Trying to keep it short was your main goal, appearing distant maybe. He didn’t mind at all though. Not discouraged from continuing this conversation Sangyeon pointed at the veranda, showing the only speck of space with little to no crowd.

The veranda was close to closed off to the party. Non distinguishable palm trees in the far distance were playing right into your cards for not having to look into his eyes. Magnetically glowing, that’s how he appeared. All happy and smiley about the obvious luck he was experiencing. Now again, he sat down with you in the beach chairs without loosing a word.

“The palm trees are so pretty. You remember me wanting to buy some new plants?”, you tried to invite him to the conversation.

“You always want to buy new plants, which time do you mean?” Sangyeon grinned to himself. “You know what? It’s so weird. Everything feels still so unreal. This wedding, also you at my wedding… So weird.”

“I am literally your best friend, where else should I be? Your funeral? At home? Who else is going to charm the hotel staff for some free capri suns and new towels?” Your mouth crinkled up and you let out a soft laugh.

“[Y/N] … You know exactly what I mean!”

“Noo, not at all. I’m so confused right now, not gonna lie.” Your face finally moved towards his direction, seeing his gentle gaze resting on you.

“Do you remember when we were still in school, and we promised each other we would marry each other if we didn’t find anybody else?” His gaze got more intense with each sentence.

“Yeahh, kind of. I was probably tired and it’s like ten years ago. I’m not really sure what you’re trying to tell me.”

“I really thought I was going to marry you. For several years, actually.”, he laughed. “I had such a crush on you and then you met your s/o and all that. Ughh, it seemed so complicated back then. Kind of weird to think about what could have happened if I did ask you out or something.”

“True.”, you turned away again standing up and resting against the wooden railing of the pavilion. “But you didn’t so, let’s just drop it there.” The weather as well started rebelling a bit, the wind hugging your figure slightly too tight for your taste.

“Why are you so cold all of a sudden?”, he whispered closely behind you.

“Well, you’re getting married tomorrow. And you’re telling me about a crush you had on me?”, you croaked.

“I was just being nostalgic, I thought this would be fine with you.” Sangyeon appeared now next to you on the railing, waiting for you to face his concerned dark eyes.

“It isn’t for me. It just feels wrong.”

“What feels so wrong about it? It was a long time ago.”

It is here, the bitterness. Bitterness shouldn’t even be the correct term, the pain of your heart going into a slump didn’t feel like a fitting word. Being reminded again that you will never have a chance again.

“Wait or is it not a long time ago for you?”, The voice of his tried to word his next sentence very carefully.

“I went out with them because I thought you were joking. Then when I thought about you, it was always different. It was too late though, you met her.” Only the close ocean along with the wind were hearable, neither you nor he were able to form another thought put into a sentence.

“You could’ve told me. I would’ve-.”

“Broken up with her?”

“No, I-.”

“Then what could you have done?”, you interrupted Sangyeon’s rambling, trembling while speaking. Terribly spiteful with a bite that wasn’t too often dripping down your lips.

“This.” Sangyeon pressed a fluttery kiss against your lips. Slender fingers tapped onto the skin right under your chin, signalizing you to look at him.

The now much calmer atmosphere made you snake your arms around his torso. Heat rose towards your head, longing after a second out in the cold again just to see his lovely facial expression. Your lips broke off and touched once more in an almost hypnotic fashion.

His hot breath started sliding downwards your cheek to your neck, physically making you unable to resist his entrancing presence. Also his hands broached over from your face down to your waist, holding you with the lightest touch.

Sangyeon’s lips darted away from yours, catching you staring deeply into his eyes. The silence felt warm now as well, filled with the slow and recovering breath of the participants.

“[Y/N], I think I still feel that way.”, a rosy blush swept over the man’s face you wanted to hear say these things so many times and so long ago.

“No. No. No. You shouldn’t! I shouldn’t either! I have to go.” The reality of the situation caught up to you. This was bad. Incredibly bad. Still the disgusting feeling of hope within this made its way up to your head. Stinging alongside the feeling of remorse, you didn’t think clearly, especially now, next to him.

You darted in the fastest way possible from the pavilion up to the hotel to your room, leaving him there.

Today should be the final day. The hopes that already should have been buried a long time ago, crawled up again and clawed its way into your mind. What if he leaves her for you today? Like in those unrealistic rom coms. Yes, again, it was unrealistic.

Leaving her at the altar and running after you. While all those thoughts of hope and wishes came together you found yourself with a stomachache. His fiancée was an incredibly nice person, sweet and kind along with being a beauty. You shouldn’t even dare to think about Sangyeon that way anymore, she deserved a lot more. Quite honestly, you felt pathetic. Who were you to run into their possible future?

Just because of a simple brush over the lips, his eyes staring into yours like no one else existed but you and his soft hands delicately touching your waist. A tap on your shoulder put you out of your trance, “[Y/N]? Can you go up to Sangyeon’s room? He asked for you.” Kevin’s eyes glanced at you with uncertainty. Neither you nor he knew why he wanted to see you.

Even more importantly, why did he need to see you alone? This seemed like dangerous territory after, basically yesterday. Agony rose again, what if he really was going to leave her?

“Sure, I don’t know why he wants to see me again though.”, you said and left to see the groom’s room. You stumbled more and more over every step closer to the door of the man who’s going to rip your heart and air out of your lungs. The normally soft laid out carpet felt in this moment like you were stepping barefoot over glass. There was the door, brightly painted in eggshell paired with the digits of the hotel room.

Before you could reach the door to knock on it, light brown waves greeted your overtly surprised face.

“You clean up well.”, Sangyeon’s rang in your ears clearer than freshly hung-up laundry in your nose. His previously concerned face curled up into a faint smile.

“Same goes for you”, you tried your best to hide the very apparent frog in your throat, “So, why do you need me?”

“Just needed to see you before going out there, I guess.”, his voice got a lot quieter. It got silent.

Not sure if a said word was necessary, you plopped down on a small, velvety stool. Every whisper was to be heard. An otherness surrounded Sangyeon, like he wasn’t there anymore, and his thoughts took over his being. You scooted closer towards him, just wanting to see him up close for the last time like this, smelling his earthy cologne from this distance.

“Why are you doing this to me?”, your voice went close to hoarse after the question. He was just as silent as before. No sound, nothing. This torment of a weekend was supposed to end with no gratification, not feeling free from this feeling on your chest? Your hand slid over his, the most desperate attempt to get his attention while also experiencing his touch again. Sangyeon jerked his hand back and returned to his absent posture.

“Why do you want to hurt me like this? I am your best friend, and you use me like I’m nothing.” The lack of power you had now made you sink down to the beige teddy carpet. Small tears started swelling up in your nearly dry eyes, kind of contradictory, yet the more tear drops rolled down your cheeks the rottener and hollow you felt.

“You were my best friend until you-.”, he stopped midsentence, “made me feel things again I didn’t need, I didn’t want.” Also his face was wet, ridden with tears making his usually calm and cheerful persona look like a painful insult.

“You asked me here. It hurts, Sangyeon. I can’t make it stop hurting, I don’t know what to do”, you reached for him again, “Could I ever be enough for you?” He returned your former attempts to stroke your face. Cornering both of you, the air trapped you in the toxins of heartbreak and hopelessness.

Once again, Sangyeon’s hand glid over your soft skin and halted on your face. Glaringly staring into each other’s eyes, you were there again. The day before, yesterday. Close to baring the soul of each person present.

“[Y/N], it’s not about being enough. It never has been. I have made a commitment I already broke, I…I can’t do this”, he sighed, “you know I love her.”

“I thought you loved me as well.” Overwhelming nothingness overruled you, almost scaring you about this reaction. You weren’t crying, yelling nor having any physical reaction at all. It was convincingly numb; the resting hurt would come later. Sangyeon’s head dropped in the dip of your shoulder and neck.

This sort of closeness would never happen again. You feeling him breathing into you while having his comforting heartbeat close to yours.

“I do, but I can’t do this to her. I would never do this to her.”, he whispered into your shoulder. A sigh came from his side.

“Then, please. Kiss me, for the last time.” The last part of the sentence left a disgustingly bitter taste in your mouth. This was over, right? His head, which was formerly resting on your shoulder, drifted up and towards yours. Also his expression blank and hollow, like he didn’t know anything.

For the last time, his hands cupped your face in a comfortable manner. As always, he felt homely, but he surely wasn’t yours ever. Not even waiting a good second or two, the light brunette’s face came closer to yours. With no hesitation both of your lips touched tenderly, releasing every sort of affection that could be expressed at that second. You inhaled again his intoxicating scent, in the hopes of having him all over you. His now reddened lips moved closer towards your jawline making you gasp for air.

Also, you weren’t completely still, constantly shifting your hands up and down over his torso upwards his neck, desperately feeling everything, you can for the last time. Sangyeon’s locks tickled you softly while he suddenly latched his mouth onto your neck right below your ear.

“No. Please, I just want a kiss on my lips.”, you said lowly, closely resembling a whine afterwards. He complied pretty quickly, leaving you with no thought but him tickling your bottom lip with his warm tongue. With him being this fast, you didn’t want to keep him on his toes. Entirely engaged in this moment, hands surprised you again on your waist, wandering closer and closer under the blouse you were wearing. You moaned into the kiss, making him take the opportunity to maneuver his tongue into your mouth.

Similarly to you, he was also stunned for a short moment when you grabbed up onto some strands of hair. A sigh left his now plump lips, a need of fresh air arrived onto both of you. Yet this was short lived, his hands captured your chin and attached his lips again onto yours in a matter of mere seconds. A bell rang, close footsteps to be heard across the floor reminding you of the situation you were in.

“Why am doing this? I am so sorry.”, you broke off his lips and took a step backwards at the door.

“[Y/N], we both did this, and it won’t happen again. We just need some time without each other. I think it would be for the best if we don’t spend time together alone anymore.”

“Are you doing what I think you’re doing? I don’t know what to say. I-.”, His lips captured yours again fast with a lot more force behind his kiss.

A strong arm shut the about to be opened door again and hovered over your head. The other one caught grabbed your chin with an almost contradictory feeling to it, the lightest touch just to shove you into his direction. You sighed into his lips, waiting for him to commit with his tongue one more time. Buttery lips pressed against yours and clang inside your mouth. Fiercely did your tongues meet, ending with him sucking on yours. Wet cheeks batting against each other with no intent of separating, your movement still came to a halt.

“You know what? I hate this. I want you to be happy, then if it is with her, I will just y’know…go or uhm mind my business.”, you slurred the last part. It wasn’t really one of your most prideful moments. Still flushed with tears and embarrassment you dropped again against the room door.

“I ask for one condition though,” incredibly hearse was your voice after the crying and even more so because of your follow up, “I do not not want to see you for some time, I don’t want to have to see your face ever again.” Tears weren’t anymore swelling up in your eyes, they never seemed to stop running down with no chance of leaving this conversation with an ounce of self-respect and pride.

It wasn’t even really much of a problem to leave him behind for a bit, it most likely would be for the best anyway, yet while his words should only leave a small mark and feel like a ripped off band aid, you felt alone. A sense of loneliness crept stealthily into you leaving you with nothing but a severe feeling of dread.

“If that is what you want, I’ll respect that.” The room got quieter till you heard the last of his words: “Of course, I still want you in on my wedding though, you’re still my best friend.” Sangyeon’s usual soft and kind smile appeared on his face, seemingly reaching you an olive branch. The former assertiveness and confidence drained through the conversation; you were nothing but a wreck.

“Alright, I’ll be there.”

The ceremony was beautiful. Fairy like flowers were hung all across the beach space, making the place more surreal than it was to begin with. Everything light with a hint of light green and an even lighter lavender tone. The air seemed to have evaporated all the tension and sadness from your face. All across the seats were relatives and friends sitting with a nervously happy face. Ironically, he really thought it was going to be you someday.

“You’re [Y/N], right? Everyone always tried to introduce me to you. Now we’re sitting next to each other at Sangyeon’s wedding together! I’m Juyeon by the way.”

#lee sangyeon x reader #sangyeon x reader #lee sangyeon #sangyeon #tbz #tbz fic #tbz angst #the boyz fic #the boyz #the boyz au #the boyz scenarios #sangyeon x you #sangyeon x y/n #the boyz x reader #sangyeon tbz #the boyz kevin #the boyz juyeon #moon kevin #lee juyeon

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

"I'm truly sorry, but I don't think we've ever met." memory loss angst? 👉👈🥺

anon... fam, this turned into an emotional rollercoaster and totally stole my braincell.

3.8k words. angst with a happy ending. 

tw: memory loss, minor anxiety, repressed memories, idiots to lovers, whump, angst with a happy ending, angst with a fluffy ending

---

It’s been three hours, five minutes, and forty-two seconds since the frigid breeze whipped Geralt’s angry words at him, shattering his fragile, stupid heart to pieces. Every syllable rings through Jaskier’s head over and over, slamming into him from all directions and crippling him with a bone-deep pain far worse than anything he’s ever felt before. The ache ebbs and flows, lancing through him with every step. Not even Geralt’s first frustrated blow to his abdomen had been this terrible.

Geralt… That’s the problem, isn’t it? He hadn’t been smart enough to get out of the gorgeous Witcher’s long, silvery hair soon enough. He’d overstayed his welcome, fallen in love in the meantime, and is now very out of sorts (and also alone in unfamiliar territory). The bard laughs but it’s a hollow sound. Jaskier has reached the edge of hysteria, his intelligent blue eyes now vacant and unseeing. Even as he stumbles through the underbrush, all he can picture is the snarl on Geralt’s face as the Witcher yells at Destiny to take Jaskier off his hands. 

Jaskier’s own hands are covered in sap and splinters from pushing tree branches away from his face as he traverses the darkening forest. His hair is full of debris and his clothes are torn and dirty; Geralt has all of his emergency supplies, still. Jaskier is pretty sure that his lute is still strapped over his shoulder but he realizes, with no small amount of surprise, that he doesn’t actually care.

He doesn’t have the capacity anymore. 

He can’t care… caring hurts too much.

If only Destiny had taken him off Geralt’s hands. Maybe then it would be okay. Maybe then, if Geralt was well and truly free of him and his irritating presence, the Witcher could be happy. He and Yennefer will surely come back around, they always seem to, and Ciri will be joining them soon enough it seems. 

There’s no need - no room - for a humble bard anymore.

Only five hours, thirty minutes, and twelve seconds after Geralt’s outburst at the top of the mountain, Jaskier’s delicate human body succumbs to the stress of the day.

He drops to the forest floor without a sound, grateful for the darkness.

---

Yennefer finds the bard in a heap a few miles away from the previous night’s elevated campsite. When she presses the back of her hand to his forehead she yanks it away almost immediately; he’s burning up, and his skin is clammy and sticky with sweat. The feathery bangs he flicks about and preens so much are stuck to his forehead and temples. He’s on the verge of shaking apart and Yennefer tosses her head imperiously, swearing.

“Damnit, Geralt. You and your incredibly foolish need to be alone all the time so you can brood and self-flagellate. Me, an ageless sorceress from one of the greatest magic schools on the Continent? I can handle a thorough tongue lashing. Fuck, I’m older than you and I’ve seen far worse but this… oh, you great lummox. You absolute bastard…” Yennefer mutters to herself as she assesses the bard’s deteriorating state of health, ranting to an invisible Geralt all the while. “You’re absolutely going to be hearing from me about this, Wolf.”

--- Three days, one hour, and fifteen minutes after Geralt dismissed him forever, Jaskier wakes up with a loud gasp and a violent shudder. He blinks slowly, allowing his eyes to adjust to the bright light streaming in through a window. Whatever he’s lying on is comfortable and the sheets smell fresh and bright, like lilac and freesia. A hint of gooseberry lies beneath it all, delicate and sweet. He glances around the space and finds it to be relatively bare; a guest room, perhaps. Maybe he’s a servant at some noble house? 

Jaskier only really knows that his name is Jaskier and that he plays music. He’s also rather talented with floral arrangements. 

Shortly after he’s finished purveying his (borrowed?) chamber, the very image of grace, beauty, and terror enters the room. The woman, whose coppery skin and enchanting violet eyes practically glow in the midafternoon sun, smiles down at him in a way that toes the line between Motherly and Shark-like. 

“How are you feeling, Jaskier?”

“I’m alright. And you?”

“Just fine. Geralt really did a number on us, huh?” she asks, a playful grin tugging at the corner of her mouth. He has the feeling that something isn’t right; she shouldn’t be looking at him so kindly. 

Her expression changes from friendly to horrified to confused in an instant, as soon as Jaskier manages to ask: “Who’s Geralt? And, pardon me, but I feel as if something is rather amiss. Who are you, my Lady?”

Whoever the gorgeous and terrifying woman is, she grimaces briefly. Then, as if by magic, the comforting smile returns. “I’m Yennefer, of course. I saved your life a few years ago, remember?”

Jaskier wracks his brain but cannot call the occasion to mind. “Unfortunately no, I don’t remember your no doubt heroic deed. Although I suppose that means I’m in your debt, doesn’t it? Do I work for you? Is that why I’m here?”

The woman blinks a few times, slowly, and then nods. “You’re my gardener and personal musician.”

Jaskier brightens, happy to have found himself in a safe environment. 

“But you’ve had a nasty illness and your mind is clearly fatigued. Rest another day or two and then we can see about getting you back into the fresh air.”

“Thank you, my Lady,” Jaskier nods.

“Yen is fine.”

“Thank you, Yen. I don’t know where I’d be without you,” he grins. 

---

Yennefer turns away to hide her pained expression. You’d probably still be with your beloved Witcher. 

She makes her way to the kitchen to fix Jaskier something to eat. He must be hungry after spending three days in a deep, healing sleep. She hadn’t been expecting the amnesia, though; it was an unexpected but not unsurprising turn of events. Heartbreak had done stranger things than a little bit of fever-induced memory loss. When she’d delved briefly into his mind she hadn’t seen any sign of Geralt. His face was absent from the bard’s consciousness; she would have needed to dig to unearth those memories. Whatever the Witcher had done was grievous, especially if Jaskier’s mind compensated with something as dramatic as burying Geralt completely to save itself from further harm.

No matter, she decides, the bard can stay here as long as he likes. It’s the least I can do for all the upset Geralt and I have caused him. Where is that idiot Witcher, anyway?

The sorceress quickly clears her agenda and her mind before returning to her guest room with a large tray of food, a bottle of Toussainti red under her arm. “Jaskier, darling, let’s get your convalescence started in style!”

---

2 months later

---

Jaskier watches a strange man ride up the long path to Yennefer’s manor, the hilts of his twin swords glinting in the sun where they’re slung over his shoulder. He has long white hair and the most devastating jawline the bard/gardener (or ‘bardener’ as he says to irritate his darling employer) has ever laid eyes on. He’s clad all in black, from his plain linen shirt to his tight leather trousers; Jaskier thinks he’d also look rather lovely in dark blue or perhaps forest green.

In front of him, wrapped securely against his chest by one strong arm, sits a little girl with ashen hair and frightened eyes. Haunted eyes. Jaskier’s mind fills with ballads, some familiar and some oddly dreamlike, their lyrics half-obscured and hazy. Ciri, he thinks for no reason. Her name is Ciri. And she is a Princess.

The brunette scurries from the garden alongside the house to the kitchen, searching for the familiar cloud of Yennefer’s strong perfume. “My Lady?” 

“Darling?” the sorceress replies, coming around the corner. She raises her perfectly maintained eyebrows and her lips quirk up into a smirk. “Did you sprint all the way from the west lawn?”

“There’s a- strange man- on the- drive!” he huffs. “White hair- horse!”

“Oh,” her eyes go wide with surprise. Then, in a split second, they narrow to slits. “Oh.”

“Do you, uhm, know him?” Jaskier asks, twiddling his fingers. “He’s rather handsome, Yen. Is he a former lover?”

“Unfortunately,” she growls. “I can’t believe it’s taken him two fucking months to get here. He’d better have a damned good excuse.”

By now Jaskier can breathe normally again and he straightens up, shaking his long, shaggy hair from his eyes. “He had a child with him. She looked scared, Yen.”

“Cirilla!”

Yennefer dashes for the front door and Jaskier follows instinctually. They’re always together and he can’t bear to let her confront this man alone. He’s spent every waking moment with Yen since he awoke that first day and she has grown to be his dearest friend; he’ll protect her even unto death. “Yenna, what’s wrong? Who is he!?”

“Geralt of Rivia,” she snarls. The name seems familiar; maybe from a ballad or story? Perhaps Yen has mentioned him before? 

“What about Geralt of Rivia?” a low, rumbling bass asks from the front hallway. Jaskier and Yennefer arrive in the doorway together and the man, Geralt apparently, takes a shaky step back. He recoils a bit, as if he’s been slapped, and Yennefer’s smile grows cruel. His voice, still incredibly low but now with a slight tremor to it, stutters out; “Wha- Yen, what is he- Jaskier? I only came to ask for help with Ciri, I didn’t know- I didn’t-”

Geralt’s stammered speech tapers off into silence and Yennefer’s brow furrows a second time. When the sorceress sets eyes on the child, who cannot be more than twelve years old, her expression softens again. Jaskier watches the most imposing woman in the world kneel, taking one small, pale hand in both of her own. “My name is Yennever of Vengerberg, former Sorceress of Aretuza. I am honored to meet you, Princess Cirilla. Geralt has come seeking protection, no doubt, and it is easily granted. I will do everything I can to help you.”

“Thank you, Lady Yennefer. And, uhm… Ciri’s fine,” the girl replies. Her voice is high and reedy, shot through with anxiety. She’s so young, Jaskier frowns. And yet she seems to have weathered an incredible storm.

“Ciri,” the bard bows from the doorway, low and dramatic. He sweeps his arm out to the side and bends his knees as awkwardly as possible, “I am Jaskier, private troubadour and gardener extraordinaire, under the employ of the magnanimous and dangerous Lady Yennefer, here. It is my greatest honor to make your very mighty and very royal acquaintance.”

“You’re silly, Master Jaskier,” the child giggles, hiding her mouth behind her hands. Geralt’s eyes grow wide and dart between Jaskier and the girl. Yennefer makes meaningful eye contact before nodding toward the door. Jaskier looks down at Ciri again when she asks: “Do you grow lots of flowers in Lady Yennefer’s garden, or just herbs and things for magic?” 

“I grow lots of things all over the property,” the brunette man steps forward and offers Ciri his hand, gesturing towards the front door with the other. “Would you like to come and take a look? I know all the scientific names, you can even quiz me if you like.”

“I know some,” she smiles shyly, accepting the offered hand. “May I go take a look at the gardens, Geralt?”

“Go ahead,” the Witcher nods dumbly. “Jaskier will take good care of you.”

“That I will. Now, let’s take a look at the flowers and let these silly adults have a chat,” Jaskier grins. He winks at Yennefer and disappears out the door, exiled Princess in tow. 

The two lively companions have toured through all the medicinal herbs and are halfway through Yennefer’s large collection of rose variations when the two other members of the party approach. Geralt looks sheepish, his eyes downcast. Yennefer looks triumphant; she is radiant in her victory as always. 

Geralt steps forward, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. “Jaskier, I’ve come to apologize for what happened when we parted.”

“Excuse me?” the bard chuckles, raising an eyebrow.  "I don’t know what you’re apologizing for, exactly.”

“When I yelled at you after the dragon hunt. It was only two months ago, Jaskier, surely you remember?”

Jaskier blushes, glancing anxiously between Geralt and his friend, whose violet eyes are stormy with emotion, “I'm truly sorry, but I don't think we've ever met."

Geralt gasps sharply and takes a step back, as he did in the entryway. Jaskier winces, seemingly on instinct, and shies away from the larger man. “You don’t remember me?”

“No…” Jaskier sighs. “I really don't. Should I?”

“You don’t… You don’t even remember Toss a Coin?”

“Oh, that ditty from town?” Jaskier perks up. “I know that song! It always gets stuck in my head.”

“You… You wrote that song,” Geralt’s face crumples. “About our first adventure together outside of Posada. With the elves and the sylvan...”

“I’ve never been to Posada,” Jaskier laughs, waving his hand dismissively. “They hate bards. They prefer troupes of traveling play-actors. Posada is far too serious for my tastes.”

Geralt seems to be in agony. His chest rises and falls unevenly, as if he’s on the verge of tears but unable to shed them. Can Witchers cry? 

How does he know that Geralt is a Witcher? Is it the two swords, the scars, or the strange eyes? How does he know that those are common Witcher traits?

His stomach lurches and he turns away from the group in case he needs to be sick. The ground spins and shivers in little ripples around him, unstable and impermanent beneath his feet. Yennefer is calling his name from somewhere far away and a pair of warm, strong arms are looped around his waist. Still, he can’t seem to breathe. Or focus.

There’s something missing. 

He starts to hum, trying to remember the words of that damned song.

The rest of the world fades in and out around him, finally disappearing altogether.

---

He’s gorgeous. 

Jaskier shoves another roll into his pocket. His eyes are focused on the man in the corner. He has long, snow-white hair and his shoulders are hunched forward protectively, as if he can hold the world out by sitting by himself. He’s glaring the table into submission, one fist clenched around his tankard. 

I want to write him a thousand ballads. I want to know what his hair looks like when he wakes up in the morning, before he brushes it out again. I want to know if he snores. I want… he stops himself. 

He makes his way across the room with eyes only for the stranger. “I love the way you just sit in the corner and brood.”

The man looks away and Jaskier notices that his irises are gold. “I’m here to drink alone.”

Gods, his fucking voice… Velvet and gravel all at once. Melitele, does Jaskier want. “Good, yeah. Good. No one else hesitated to comment on the quality of my performance… except for you.”

The man, the Witcher, Jaskier realizes, rolls his eyes.

“Come on,” he wheedles, sitting down across from the gorgeous stranger. “You don’t want to keep a man with bread in his pants waiting. You must have some review for me, three words or less.”

The man’s face stays stoic, expressionless. “They don’t exist.”

He realizes shortly thereafter that this man is not just any Witcher but the infamous Butcher of Blaviken, Geralt of Rivia. He could try to disengage himself from such a daunting character; he could easily make some kind of excuse and disappear back to the troubadour’s path, heading towards civilization, but it’s already too late. He doesn’t want to leave Geralt’s side ever again; he wants to write all those ballads he was thinking about earlier, when he glanced across the room. 

Jaskier has fallen head over heels in love. ---

Geralt cradles Jaskier against his chest and presses his nose deep into those chestnut brown waves. “Wake up, Jaskier. Come back to me, bard, it’s been too long.”

“Don’t you usually go all winter without seeing him?” Yennefer asks from the doorway. 

“It’s hell,” he replies easily. There’s no point in hiding his feelings from her. “I miss him every minute of every day.”

“Verbose this evening,” she remarks, taking a seat by the fire. “He’s dreaming, you know. He’s remembering you.”

“He’d forgotten?”

“He’d repressed it all,” she shrugs. “When I found him that day, feverish and nearly dead on the side of that godsforsaken mountain, he was barely coherent enough to open his eyes. He just kept asking for you, Geralt. Over and over he called for you, reaching his arms up, weak as they were. Gods, it was pitiful to watch.”

Geralt swallows. 

“I thought you were going to come back sooner. I was surprised when his memories didn’t resurface after two or three weeks. Short-term memory loss after a fever isn’t uncommon but repressing twenty years worth of feelings and experiences-” she whistles lowly “-it was impressive and tragic, all at once.”

“He forgot me?”

“Entirely.”

Geralt glances down, shame-faced. He adjusts Jaskier in his arms, holding him close and pillowing the bard’s head against his shoulder. “I deserve it, Yen.”

“He’s remembering now, though. He’ll probably be a little less than pleased to see you when he wakes up, but he knows who you are.”

“When will he wake?”

“Can’t say,” she shrugs again. “After I brought him back from the mountain it took three days for him to wake up. The first day was magically induced but after that it was just him… exhausted and heartbroken to the point of self-induced amnesia.”

“Fuck, Yen,” Geralt groaned, pressing his forehead into the soft warmth of Jaskier’s cheek. “How can I make it up to him?”

“Stay.”

“Hmm?”

“When he wakes up and he’s angry and upset, stay. Don’t stomp off or blow up or freak out,” she instructs. “If he asks you to leave, go, but otherwise… prove yourself, Geralt of Rivia. You wanted to be a knight once, didn’t you? Now’s your chance to play Prince Charming. Get down on your lovely knees and beg and apologize.”

“Hmm. How’s Ciri?”

“Fed, bathed, and put to bed. I’ll take care of her for as long as it takes you two morons to make nice again. Good luck, Geralt, I’m sure he’ll forgive you too easily for my tastes.”

She stands from her seat and leaves just as efficiently as she entered, carefully closing the door behind her. Geralt lays Jaskier back on the bed and takes a seat beside him on the mattress, kneeling just within touching distance, should Jaskier reach out for reassurance in his sleep. Geralt closes his eyes and slips easily into meditation. 

The Witcher is pulled from his trance a few hours later when Jaskier makes a startled sound and tries to sit up. Geralt opens his eyes and splays one warm, broad hand against Jaskier’s chest, forcing him back against the goose down pillows. “Stay still, Jaskier. You’re feverish and weak.”

“I’m still dreaming,” the bard grumbles, reaching to rub at his eyes with the heels of his hands. It’s adorable and Geralt grins widely, warmth spilling into his chest from some newly discovered fount of happiness. “You’re being too nice to me, Witcher.”

“I’m so sorry, Jaskier, for everything.”

“What’s everything, Geralt?”

“I’m sorry for pushing you away when I was angry and confused instead of communicating with you. I’m sorry for hurting you with my brash words and foolish actions; you have always deserved so much better and I’m so afraid that I can never give that to you. I take the wrong step at every turn, it seems, and yet you stay by my side. I didn’t want to risk hurting you the way I’ve already hurt Yen and Ciri, by tying us together against your will.”

“Darling Geralt,” the bard sighs. The Witcher scoots slightly closer and Jaskier lays a gentle hand atop his thigh. “It has always been my greatest pleasure to travel the Path with you and write of our adventures. I appreciate your concern for my agency and wellbeing, dear heart, but I am quite happy spending my entire human life in your presence.”

“Hmm,” the Witcher frowns. “You’re going to die someday.”

“And? So are you. So shall Yennefer, maybe.”

“Not likely,” Geralt jokes. Jaskier grins and the sight of it is so heartwarming that the Witcher wishes he could break down into tears. At least then Jaskier could see just how deeply his feelings ran. “I’m sorry, Jaskier, for blaming you for things that I brought upon myself. I love you dearly, and I hope that someday you can choose to travel with me again.”

“Excuse me?”

“I hope that you’ll-”

“No, the other bit.”

“I love you?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Oh. Yes, I-” Geralt clears his throat and looks Jaskier in the eyes, gold and blue locked together, “I love you very much, Jaskier.”

“Fuck.”

“May I kiss you, Jaskier?”

“Yes,” the bard breathes.

And then Geralt is lifting him up into his lap, one hand cradling Jaskier’s skull so so fucking carefully. Geralt’s other arm supports his waist, holding him steady. Their lips come together softly, carefully, and Jaskier’s soul spirals up to the ceiling with joy, his body abandoned. He is merely a vessel for the happiness that comes with kissing his Witcher. When they pull apart, both men are grinning like fools. “Oh, dear heart.”

“Yes, my love?”

“Never stop calling me that.”

“I swear I won’t, my love.”

From downstairs, Geralt hears Yennefer mutter, “Fucking finally.”

It takes twenty-two years, seven months, and one day, but Geralt and Jaskier manage to figure things out.

#bounceacoinoffyouranons #geraskier #amnesia #amensiac jaskier #memory loss #rare species fix it #the witcher netflix #the witcher ficlet #geraskier fluff #angst with a happy ending #fluff and angst #whump with a happy ending #jaskier whump #yennefer #yen and jaskier are bitchy theatre bffs #and you can't stop me #anon you really got me fucked up