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loveelle · 3 years

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Win a Date

Alive!Luke Patterson x Reader AU

Request from Anon: AHHHH!! Carrie (y/n’s step-sister) decides to enter her into a “win a date contest” as a joke for rockstar Luke Patterson (who she can’t stand) and she ends up wining and has to go on a date with. Bonus points if Carrie is a die hard Luke Patterson fan. Ohh also! He kind of starts to peruse her (in like cute/“hey if everyone likes me, you will too” kind of way/shows up at her school/hang out/writes songs with her... etc) and get her to see that he isn’t just another stuck up celebrity?

A/N: Heh, the way this is 7K words of nonsense lolol please someone send help cause it’s 5 am and I can’t stop writing in the middle of the night (RIP to Reggie and Alex who I literally don’t think I mentioned once) PLEASE EXCUSE THE SHITTY SONG LYRICS PLS IM NOT A SONG WRITER I TRIED

WC: 6969 (I’m not kidding. It was exact. DOUBLE NICE)

MASTER

---

You sat in front of your mirror, narrowing your eyes at your reflection. 2 hours of sleep didn’t look good on you but you didn’t care. The door to your room swung open and Carrie stepped inside, her nose buried in her phone as you stared at her. “Can I help you?”

She held up a finger at you making you raise your brows and turn in your seat to face her. “We’re going to be late so you have to-“ her words cut off as she glanced up at you giving you a good look, “What happened to you?”

You laughed, glancing over to your bed where all your books laid about from staying up all night studying. “Don’t even ask.” You muttered and stood up slowly, stretching your back while you were at it and grabbing your bag. “Okay, let’s go.” You ushered her to the door but she just blinked at you.

“You’re not going to run a brush through that?” She gestured to your hair.

You huffed, running a hand through your hair a few times before smiling at her. “Better?”

She rolled her eyes but smiled at you. “Come on, we’re going to be late.” You locked arms with her and you left your room, skipping down the stairs to see your step-dad in the kitchen pouring his smoothie into a glass. “Bye, dad.” Carrie called out, getting his attention.

“Bye, Trevor.” You grabbed your keys before hearing Trevor call back to you both. Carrie and you jumped in your car, she was still texting away as you rolled your eyes. “How’s Dirty Candy? You guys ready for the assembly today?”

She hummed, but she didn’t look up from her phone. “It’s gonna be great. Probably the best performance we’ve ever done.”

You clicked your tongue. “I don’t know, your last one was pretty amazing.”

She finally looked up, offering you a smile. “You know, there’s always a spot for you. It’s yours if you’ll take it.” You stopped at a light, sharing a glance with your sister but she just sighed. “I know, I know. Dirty Candy doesn’t really fit your image.”

“Car, it’s not that-“

“Y/N, It’s okay. Besides, it’s better this way.” You furrowed your brows as she shrugged. “You have two left feet.” Your jaw dropped at her playful jab as she turned back to her phone.

Carrie snuck a smirk at you and you focused on driving again until a Twitter notification chimed through her phone telling her that Luke Patterson, her all-time favorite singer, had posted something. She squealed catching your attention as she frantically opened the app.

She expected a funny comment, a picture of him and his friends, or a new song when she opened the post, but she was greeted with something far better.

It was a link to a website and the top of the site said: “Win a Date”. Carrie swore her eyes popped out of her head and her jaw would’ve hit the floor had it not been attached to her face.

I’m so entering, she told herself as she began to fill out an entry, well aware this was the only day you could enter.

“What are you doing?” You questioned as you pulled into the school parking lot and got out of the car, seeing Carrie stay seated.

“Luke Patterson is hosting a win a date contest and I’m entering.” She told you mindlessly as you scrunched your nose.

“Luke Patterson? That stupid musician you’re obsessed with?”

Her head snapped your way. “I’m not obsessed with him!”

Smirking, you leaned into your car and whispered at her. “Tell that to his poster hanging above your bed which, by the way, I still suggest you burn.”

“Just because you don’t have good taste in music, doesn’t mean I don’t.” You had to hold yourself from scoffing. Luke Patterson? Good music? As if.

Leaving her with a wink, Carrie watched you walk away and an idea popped into her head. An idea that mainly served as a joke on you but still doubled her chances at meeting Luke. Turning back to her phone, she finished her entry before reloading the page and starting again, only this time she was entering your name.

Carrie hadn’t stopped thinking about the contest all day, since the moment she signed you both up. She knew she had very slim odds, but someone had to win. Why couldn’t that person be her? Or even you? Only to see your reaction, Carrie secretly hoped for the latter.

---

Later that night, you laid in your pajamas sprawled out across your bed. You had an English essay you were in the middle of, several hours spent writing and deleting until finally, you decided it was enough. Walking out of your room, you passed by Carrie’s hearing the muffled sound of one of Luke Patterson’s songs with his old band, Sunset Curve. You could hear Carrie singing right along with it and you paused grimacing at the fact your sister still listened to him.

Trevor was sitting on the couch as you came out, watching TV and flipping around on the channels. “You’re still up?” he asked and you hummed a yes.

“It’s barely midnight. Besides, how I could sleep with Carrie next door listening to her boyfriend’s songs.” You rolled your eyes at your step-sister. Trevor chuckled, pushing himself up to join you in the kitchen.

He leaned over the counter, watching as you got some water. “So, Carrie was telling me about that competition with that singer.” He began as you laughed under your breath.

“Yeah, that win a date contest.” You snickered again. It sounded like such a cheesy idea. Just another way for some celebrity to get people talking about them. The competition was probably rigged anyways. Some cute surface level girl would win and fawn over Luke Patterson all night, much like he probably wanted. You’ve seen interviews of him- well, Carrie forced you to watch interviews of him- and he seemed exactly how you predicted, some cocky boy-band-turned-solo-act singer who thinks he’s the best. That’s where your dislike for him sprouted. “Carrie almost screamed in the car today when she found out. I swear, only Patterson makes her act that way.”

Trevor huffed another laugh as he pushed himself up, turning back to the kitchen and you heard his footsteps pad away as you poured yourself some water from the fridge. “I gotta say, I was surprised that you let her sign you up for it. Didn’t think you were into him.”

The water spilled briefly as you took Trevor’s words in shock. Carrie signed you up? Carrie signed you up. Of course, she did! She probably thought it would increase her chances. Or maybe she did it to mess with you. God, you wouldn’t put it past her.

You didn’t say another word as you retreated to your room and passed Trevor with a smile on your way. You passed Carrie’s room with a glare and jumped on your bed, burying your face in your pillow as you groaned. You had plenty of things on your mind already, you didn’t need to think about some contest with an artist you couldn’t stand.

“Why Carrie? Why?!” you shouted, removing the pillow and staring at the ceiling. You were furious, but you tried to keep yourself calm. There wasn’t a chance you would actually win, was there? Surely hundreds, if not thousands, of people entered for a date.

Opening your laptop back up, you searched Luke’s twitter up and clicked on the link he posted. The webpage took way too long for your nerves to load until finally, you saw his picture pop onto your screen, followed by all the information to enter. You started reading through the information the contest provided.

Lottery Winner

Ages 16-18

Public Date

Enter before midnight

You glanced at your clock, seeing 11:58 staring you back as you took a deep breath. 2 more minutes until the contest was over.

1 more minute.

Midnight.

You refreshed the page and the contest was over, no longer allowing anyone else to enter. You didn’t know why you sat there, staring at the illuminated screen for so long; it wasn’t like the winner was going to be announced right then. You weren’t safe yet. You closed your laptop rather harshly, tossing it onto a chair near your bed as you crawled under the blanket. With a final grunt, your light was off and you were trying to sleep, ignoring the buzzing in the back of your brain with the constant knowledge that your name was entered in a competition to go on a date with Luke Patterson, of all people.

Curse you, Carrie.

---

The night seemed to pass in a blink of an eye as your alarm went off, followed by a slap of your hand to your phone to make it stop. “Oh god.” You mumbled, rubbing your hands over your face as you remembered what Carrie had done. You got ready for school in record time, already planning on avoiding and not talking to anyone as you laced up your shoes and walked out the front door.

“Wait for me!” Carrie yelled out the front door but you kept walking, barely turning your head to speak back to her.

“Catch a ride with Kayla.”

“What? Why?” You finally stopped, looking back to see her standing in the doorway in her pajamas.

“Oh, I don’t know? Payback for entering me in that Win-A-Date contest, maybe?” Carrie’s face fell as you smirked. “Better call Kayla!” you laughed and jumped in your car, driving out of the driveway before Carrie could protest again.

You knew you had an hour to kill as you pulled up to the school, so you did what any normal kid would do and camped out in the music room, hiding behind the instruments. You pulled out your favorite book and started reading to waste time.

“Boo!” your head snapped up as you jumped, seeing Julie Molina laughing at you.

“That’s not funny.” You grumbled at your friend, sticking a hand out for her to help you up.

“It’s a little.” She nudged your shoulder with hers as you mocked her, not able to hide a smile, and your plan to avoid people went right in the trash. You couldn’t ignore Julie.

“How’d you find me?” you asked as Julie stuck your book into your bag for you.

“It’s pretty easy when this is the only place you hide.”

You shot her a look, rolling your eyes as Flynn appeared by your side. “Hiding in the music room again?” She asked as you threw your hands in the air.

“I don’t always hide in the music room!” you exclaimed despite knowing they were correct. The two girls shared a look before locking arms with you and leading you out of the room. As soon as you were out, you could hear a commotion coming from outside, several kids going to investigate it and the three of you did as well.

It wasn’t often Los Feliz High school had someone famous pull up right outside, but today wasn’t just any other day. Luke trusted his manager, Caleb, completely, but when he brought up the idea of a “Win-A-Date with Luke Patterson”, he began to worry that his manager was losing it. Of course, Caleb assured him that it was a joke and the boy was not expected to do such a thing and of course, it only made Luke want to do the thing. Now, Luke couldn’t keep his leg from bouncing as his car pulled up to the high school the winner attended. He didn’t know much about her, only a picture of what she looked like and her name.

Y/N Y/L/N.

The car stopped and he took a deep breath, putting on a smile as he stepped outside. “Hey everybody!” he said to the already cheering crowd, which only made them cheer louder. His smile turned real at the welcome of his fans who always made him feel loved.

Caleb started doing the talking to people, telling them why they were here as Luke scanned the crowd. He knew you were here, Caleb called ahead to your house and they spoke to your stepfather who told them you already arrived at school. Now it was just a matter of finding you. As soon as you stepped outside with Julie and Flynn on your arms, Luke’s eyes found you. Your brows were furrowed as you most likely were trying to understand why the commotion.

He knew he should’ve waited for Caleb, but he couldn’t help himself. He started forwards and the crowd separated for him because of Luke’s gaze that was cast past them.

“Oh my god, he’s coming this way!” Julie cheered through her teeth as you looked at her, still confused as to what was happening.

“Who is? What’s-“

Your speech was cut off by Luke stopping right in front of you, Julie and Flynn’s grip on your arms dropping as they stepped behind you, cheering with each other as you looked from them to the boy in front of you with the smile that could melt hearts. Just not yours.

“Hey. I’m Luke.” He began as you stared at him, your face stoic as you looked down to his outstretched hand.

“Uh, yeah. I know.” You replied, not caring how disinterested you sounded. In that second as you looked past him, seeing all the dirty looks thrown your way from girls and boys alike did you realize what was happening. “Oh my god, please tell me I didn’t win the date with you.” you blurted out before thinking.

Luke’s smile never faltered as he nodded and hummed a yes. “Congratulations Y/N.” He said and you had to hold back an eye roll. Congratulations? To be allowed to date him? How arrogant.

You could’ve said something, anything really, but instead, your feet acted on impulse and you pushed back through the crowd until you were safe in your spot in the music room once again.

You should’ve known with your luck that you would win. Why, out of everyone who actually liked that Rockstar, did you have to win? If Carrie wasn’t in for it already for putting your name in, she was about to get hell.

“I take it you weren’t overwhelmed with surprise and ran off?” You heard the last person you wanted to hear right now speak out from the empty room as you groaned, falling flat on the floor.

“Why?” you asked no one in particular, “Why me?” Luke moved closer, thanking the fact your two friends told him exactly where to find you. He saw you laying on the ground, letting a chuckle slip past his lips. You shot him a glare and pushed yourself up, moving out of your hiding place to stand in front of him. “Look, there has been a big mistake.”

“A mistake?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I wasn’t supposed to win this competition. This is all just some big misunderstanding and I think it’s best you go back to your manager or whoever and tell them to pick another sucker to force you to date.” Luke had an amused look on his face as he listened to you.

“You didn’t want to win?” he clarified.

“I didn’t even want to sign up.” You fell into the chair next to you, not wanting to look at Luke anymore.

Luke took the seat next to you. “Then how was your name drawn?”

Your head fell to the side as you looked into his brown eyes for a few seconds before looking away. “My stepsister signed me up and I’m pretty sure it was a joke or so she would get the chance to meet you. She’s like your biggest fan.” You mumbled the last part, irritated with Carrie beyond disbelief.

Luke quirked a brow. “You’re not my biggest fan?” he asked, playfully mocking the thousands of people who claim to be just that.

You let out a snort and Luke’s face fell at the involuntary action. “Dude, I’m not even your fan.” A silence came across you and Luke as you stared at the mob of people just outside the door, wanting a look at you and Luke.

“Why not?”

His question caught you off guard as you looked at him again. He looked almost disappointed. Of course, he was disappointed, he cared about his image and right now, you weren’t doing anything to up it. You opened your mouth, trying to find the answer before closing it and shaking your head. “I’m just not and I’m not going on a date with you. Sorry but find someone else. I have better things to do than spend my night with some haughty celebrity. ” You started to stand up, moving to grab your things as Luke grabbed your hand, getting you to turn and come face to face with him.

You inhaled sharply, not prepared to have been so close with him. Luke looked down at your conjoined hands briefly before dropping them and taking a step backward to give you more room. “How about a deal?”

You quirked your brow, unable to admit you were intrigued by the aspect of a deal. “Go on.”

“We hang out, doesn’t have to be a date, wherever you’d like.”

You waited for Luke to say more, not believing that this was it. “What’s in it for you?”

He shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets and your eyes flickered shamefully to his sleeveless arms for a second. “I get to spend the night with you and your amazing personality.” You let out another snort, only this one brought a small smile to Luke’s face.

“Hey, at least I’m not the one striving for attention from teenage fans across the country.”

He licked his lips, hiding a laugh and nodding. “Okay, you got me there.” You smiled smugly to yourself. “Do we have a deal, Y/N?”

He stretched out his hand to you for the second time today and this time you took. Luke ignored the way your hand felt against his, perfectly molding together. “I guess we have a deal, Patterson.”

---

Your date with Luke was scheduled to take place that night and you couldn’t wait for it to be over. All-day at school you were getting looks from people you didn’t even talk to; some looks of adoration and others looks of envy. You had to admit, the looks from the people adoring you scared you more.

After Luke said you could pick where the date was held, you knew just the place. He was supposed to pick you up, after much protesting from you that you could just meet him there. In his words, “it isn’t a date if I don’t pick you up.”

On the outside, you groaned at him, but on the inside, you couldn’t help the quick flip of your stomach. None of your previous relationships have ever picked you up at your house. Most of them were terrified of your stepdad, but none of them offered.

You avoided Carrie all afternoon, too mad at her for getting you into this whole debacle in the first place. Carrie didn’t even know what to think when she heard the news that you won. She did put your name in as a joke, but she never thought you’d have a shot to go on an actual date with Luke Patterson. She felt a small pang of jealousy before she realized it was her fault in the first place and next time maybe she should think twice about doing something like that.

Luke’s car pulled up outside as she glanced out her window, almost squealing and dashing out her room right on time to see you walk out yours. Her face fell at your outfit. “What are you wearing?” she gasped out.

You glanced down at your jeans and crop top sweater. “Uh, clothes?” you asked, trying to move past her.

Carrie finally let you go. “You’re going to wear that on a date with Luke Patterson?”

“Yup!” you knew that where you were going, fancy clothes weren’t the go-to choice. You bounced down the stairs and to the door, opening it right in time to see Luke about to knock. His smile spread as soon as he saw you.

“Well, don’t you look comfy.” He leaned on your doorframe as you raised a brow at him.

“Yeah, I am actually, thanks.” You gave him a once over, seeing the sweatshirt and T-shirt he had on earlier had been changed in for a nice and relaxing looking dress shirt and black jeans. You let out a fake gasp. “You own sleeves?”

“Disappointed?” Luke joked and gave you a fond smirk before his attention was pulled behind you to where Carrie came slowly down the stairs. You turned your head, glaring at your sister before gesturing for her to come down.

“That’s my sister, Carrie, your biggest fan.” Luke’s eyes met yours momentarily before he focused on Carrie.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Luke.”

“I-I know!” Carrie was starstruck as Luke reached his hand out to shake hers. Immediately he noticed how out of place Carrie’s hand felt compared to yours, but he didn’t let it show on his face. “I love your music.”

You could tell Carrie was struggling to figure out what to say as your eyes widened and you forced your lips into a line. “Alright, well Luke and I should probably get going before it gets dark out.” You said, silently hinting to Luke to let go of Carrie’s hand. His eyes went back and forth between you and the hands and you realized it wasn’t Luke. “Car, you gotta let him go.” You whispered t your sister, seeing her stare mesmerized at him. “Carrie?”

“In a minute.” She mumbled with a smile.

“Now or you won’t get his autograph afterward.” Carrie’s hand dropped immediately.

Luke led you to the car and you gave the address to the driver before climbing into the back with Luke. It was a mostly silent ride as you opted for people watching out the window. Luke, however, couldn’t take his eyes off you. “So,” he interrupted the silence, “Is there a reason you don’t like me?”

You were taken back by his abruptness, wanting to get straight to the point as you moved to face him. “Why do you wanna know?”

“Why does anyone want to know why they’re hated for no reason?”

You pursed your lips. He had a point. With a sigh and avoiding eye contact, you spoke. “My sister loves you. People at my school love you and I have no idea why. I’ve seen your interviews and to me, you just seem like a-“you cut yourself off, unsure if you should be so blatantly honest with him.

Luke needed to know though. He knew it sounded ridiculous, but he needed to know why you hated him without even meeting him. “Like what?”

Your fingers twisted in your lap. “Like a stuck-up celebrity.” You mumbled, not telling Luke your full thought. However, it seemed to make him sad.

“You thought that?”

“Am I wrong?”

He fell silent again. Luke sure hoped you were wrong. Sure, there were moments he found himself caught up in the glory of being a Rockstar, but he never took himself for being stuck-up or haughty, as you called him earlier. He was going to prove you wrong. No matter how long it took him.

“We’re here.” You looked out the window and Luke did too, seeing the car pull down an alley.

“Uh, you know if you kill me people will know it was you.” he joked, getting you to crack a smile unwillingly as you opened the door.

Luke finally saw where you chose. A street dog “restaurant”- that was more a car and a grill- not far from where Luke played one of the first gigs of his career that launched him into fame. “Welcome to my LA.” You told him as you walked to the hotdog seller. Luke followed after you, standing back as you ordered the two of your hotdogs, as well as one for Luke’s driver who remained in the car. Taking a seat on a beat-up couch, you grinned at him, watching him sit slowly next to you. “It’s fine to sit on, they clean for bugs at least once a year.” Luke laughed at your joke as he settled down, looking at the hotdog in front of him.

You held yours up, toasting with his before taking a bite out of it. Luke paused before sighing in delight and you giggled through your food. “It’s been so long since I had a street dog.” He admitted, going in for another bite. “My buddies and I used to get them before a show. One time three of us came down with a sick case of food poisoning.” Luke rambled in between bites.

“Dang, what happened to the show?”

“Had to cancel! Hard to play when you’re in the hospital throwing up everything you ate that week.”

You laughed, letting your eyes close briefly out of disgust. “Thanks for that visual.”

“Oh, of course.” Luke joined you in laughing before you stopped, realizing you shouldn’t be laughing with him. You couldn’t stand him. He noticed your change in demeanor as he tried to change the topic. “So, how’d you find this place?”

A smile crept on your face once more and you couldn’t stop it. “My dad.” You admitted sadly. “He used to be a musician, played at the Orpheum and whenever I came to see him, we’d always celebrate with street dogs afterward. It was our tradition.” It didn’t take a genius to know you lost your father from the way you spoke about him.

“I’m sorry.” Luke reached over and grabbed your hand. You don’t know what came over you for a few seconds, but you let him hold your hand as goosebumps traveled up your skin, making your breath hitch as you pulled your hand away.

Luke stayed quiet for a while as the two of you ate your hotdogs, happy that food poisoning wasn’t something you’d experience that night. You leaned back on the couch, pulling a leg up to face Luke and narrow your eyes. He shifted under your gaze, unsure what to make of it before he finished his dog and turned to match your position. “So, why a date?”

He grew confused at your question. “What do you mean?”

You rolled your eyes and licked your lips, which caught Luke’s attention briefly enough he wasn’t caught. “Was this some publicity stunt or something you actually wanted to do?”

Luke cleared his throat. “My manager brought it up, but I did it because I wanted to. If I didn’t want to, then it wouldn’t happen.”

“Why did you want to, then?”

“I don’t know. But you can’t admit that this isn’t fun.”

“You’re having fun?” your lips quirked up at him, making him smile as well.

“Oh yeah! I mean, comfy clothes? Street dogs? With a girl who isn’t fawning over the fact I’m famous? This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.” For some reason, you didn’t doubt him, which made you nervous. Maybe- had you jumped willingly to the conclusion that he was stuck-up? Was he like you expected him to be?

You shook your head, hiding the smile on your face. “I don’t know, man. This just sounds like a normal night to me.”

“Well, then I’d love to spend more normal nights with you.” Luke meant what he was saying. He was enjoying himself tonight, more than he thought he would with someone who seemed to hate him before you even met.

You inhaled sharply, something Luke missed as you looked anywhere but him. “That sounded like flirting.” You mumbled to him, taking glances quickly to him to see his eyes widened.

“No, I just meant- We should hang out. As friends.”

“Friends?” He nodded. “I still don’t like you, Patterson.”

“Oh, come on!” he chuckled. “Everyone likes me, I promise you will too!”

“Then, I guess I’m not everyone.”

His lips pulled into a thin line as your eyes met, neither of you saying anything as Luke’s driver honked, getting your attention saying it was time to leave.

Luke pushed himself off the couch, stretching his hand out to help you up, but you didn’t take it. He watched you with amused eyes as you moved past him, throwing a smile over your shoulder at him before climbing into the car. Luke chuckled under his breath and ran after you.

In his head, he was putting a plan in motion. A way to get you to like him like he knew you would, and a way that allowed him to hang out with you more, the first person in a while that allowed him to feel like just another teenage boy again.

---

You managed to avoid all the questions thrown at you the next day from everyone at the school with some help from Julie and Flynn, despite knowing that once the day was over, they were going to ask you everything.

Walking into the lunchroom, however, was not something you were looking forward to. Eyes fell on you immediately as you walked in, already feeling your stomach dropping. Flynn waved you down, making you relax slightly as you made a B-line for your table and practically fell into your seat.

“Okay, we’ve held off all day. You’ve got to tell us everything!” Flynn cried out quietly, keeping her voice down so others at close tables couldn’t hear.

You gave her a look of laughter. “It’s been 3 hours?”

“Yeah and?” she questioned, nodding along with Julie who was just as eager as her.

“We didn’t do much! I took him to get street dogs.”

“Street dogs?!” they cried out much louder than you or they wanted. You forced smiles to the students around you, hoping none of them cared to listen in.

“Yes, Street dogs. I didn’t want to make it date-like.” They nodded as they rolled their eyes. You sighed, playing with the sandwich in front of you that you honestly didn’t feel like eating. “I guess-“ you started but stopped yourself, thinking back on the entirety of the night. Flynn and Julie urged you to continue. “I guess he wasn’t as bad as I thought he was.”

As soon as your sentence had finished, someone slid in the seat next to you. You glanced over quite confused as that spot was usually empty. The only person who sat with you all was Nick on the occasion, but he sat next to Julie since they were dating. This person, whose hood was pulled over their downcast head, was not Nick.

“Can we help you?” Julie asked and before you could scoot away, his head picked up. “Oh my god.”

“Luke?” you whispered, glancing around worriedly for anyone who caught sight of the Rockstar. “What are you doing here?!”

“I came to visit you.” He smiled and reached over to take a bite of your sandwich as you watched on in wonder.

“Why on earth would you do that?”

Luke shrugged but never lost his smile as he met your eyes. “Had some time to kill and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Despite the hatred you thought you possessed for the boy, you felt your cheeks heat up and the underlying desire to smile hurt to fight. “T-This is a school. You can’t be here.” You argued, trying to ignore the happy look Luke was giving you.

“I’m a kid. I blend right in.”

“He blends right in.” Flynn repeated, sending you a glare for trying to get him to leave, to which you rolled your eyes at.

“Alright fine,” you agreed and started packing up your bags for them. “But if he’s going to be here, we go somewhere where there aren’t students.”

Luke smirked, remembering exactly where your friends said you always hide.

The music room was luckily empty when the four of you arrived, and you let out a shaky breath, thankful you weren’t going to be caught with Luke. When you spun around to look at him, you let out a laugh when you saw that Luke has shed his hoodie to reveal his sleeveless tank top.

When Luke and your eyes met, you forced yourself to look away, unsure what to do.

“Soooo…” Flynn said as she rocked on her heels, not looking away from Luke, just like Julie wasn’t. You snickered at them, crossing your arms as Luke laughed as well. Flynn and Julie shared a look briefly before they started slowly to the door. “Well, Julie and I should be going. Gotta get to class, you know? Yeah, you know.”

You furrowed your brows at them. “We still have 5 minutes of lun-“

“Y/N’s got a free period.” Julie rushed out before they were gone, leaving you and Luke alone in the music room.

“You know, I should’ve figured they’d do that.” You said and dropped your bag on the ground before falling into a chair. “You don’t actually need to stay because of them you know. Besides, you saw me and you’ve probably got a life of guitar and press conferences to get back to.”

“Well, you’ve got a free period and I’ve got-“ Luke paused, trying to figure out what to say to finish that sentence as he adjusted the beanie that was apparently sat under his hood. You raised your brows, gesturing for him to finish his sentence. “I’ve got nothing.” He admitted and took the seat next to you. You laughed at him, making Luke’s heart flip at the sound just like you always managed to do. “So, do you actually play music or just like hiding out in the room?”

You smirked at him, saying nothing as you pulled out your songbook and headed to the piano. Luke didn’t expect you to start playing right then and there for him, but the moment you pressed the first key on the piano, followed a few notes later by your voice ringing out in the room, he was hooked. He watched you, seeing the joy you had for your music written beautifully across your face and Luke couldn’t look away. Not even after you finished and asked him what he thought.

“Luke?” you called out, waving your hand in the air as he stared at you. You had no idea what was going through his head and it scared you. You didn’t know where that confidence came from. The only people who had heard you sing was Flynn, Julie, and Carrie, which is why she’s constantly pressuring you into joining her group. Your stepdad didn’t even know if you knew what a piano was. “Was it that bad?” you chuckled nervously.

Luke’s head shook quickly as he jumped out of his chair, surprising you by his sudden appearance right beside you. “Where had that been hiding?” he whispered out.

You couldn’t look away from him as he came close to you, making your heart race and you couldn’t stop it. “I don’t know. It’s just always been here, I guess.” Your voice matched his, although shakier.

Luke slowly reached for your songbook, waiting for you to stop him. You hesitated, but you didn’t stop him, watching on embarrassed as he flipped through the scribbled upon pages. “You wrote all these?” He said after catching sight of your millionth- or so it seemed- song. You nodded but remained silent. “Y/N, these are amazing.”

“Thank you.” your voice was soft, not believing he really liked them and Luke picked up on it.

“I’m serious.” He assured you, nudging his shoulder with yours. You turned your head, meeting his dark hazel eyes once more. “You’re really talented.” This time you didn’t doubt it.

Your eyes flickered to his lips before you could stop them and Luke’s did the same. He licked his lips and slowly leaned in and without much thinking, you had done the same. Your brain was fuzzy, the only thoughts were his lips when your eyes started fluttering closed. But before your lips could meet, the lunch bell rang out in the room.

You and Luke didn’t jump apart, however, the moment between you was gone and it was obvious by both of you not being able to look at one another. Luke cleared his throat, gently tossing your book back on the piano before he stood up. “Um, so free period?” He asked, putting on a smile as you hummed a yes. “What do you want to do?”

You finally brought yourself to look at him, raising a brow. “Who says I want to spend it with you?” Luke’s face almost fell before he realized you were just messing with him and the smile on your face was one he matched.

“Haha.” He mocked you and leaned over the piano. “Seriously, what do you normally do during your free periods?”

“Stay here usually.” You shrugged. “There’s no class after lunch, so Ms. Harrison usually doesn’t mind me hanging out in here and writing music.”

“Writing?” Luke had mischief behind his eyes as you narrowed yours.

“Yeah? Why? What’s that look for?”

“Nothing.” He said quickly, but you didn’t believe him. “I was just thinking. If you write music, and I write music…” His sentence trailed off as he hoped you caught on, but by the cute and confused look you were giving him, it was obvious you weren’t getting it. “Maybe we could write something together.”

His words were rushed out and quite filled with nerves, but you heard him. “You want to write music with me?”

“Well, yeah. You’re amazing Y/N. People should hear your music.” You looked on with a warm smile at him as you sighed heavily.

“What the hell, could be fun.” Luke cheered as you agreed and you shushed him, knowing nobody could here into the room, but you didn’t want to take your chances. “How do you want to do this?”

Luke reached into his pocket, pulling out some lyrics he scribbled down last night after dinner with you. He hesitated but slid it across the piano to you. “Maybe we can start with this?”

You grabbed the paper, letting your eyes scan it briefly and Luke let out a sigh when you didn’t seem to make the connection the lyrics were about you.

A dozen words are flying through my head

A dozen sounds I’d love to listen to

Like your laugh that’s playing out on repeat

And I see your smile, it’s whole and beautiful

Was it wrong that your heart hurt thinking of Luke thinking about someone else like this? Of course, it was wrong. You and Luke weren’t anything. “It’s different than your normal stuff, isn’t it?”

Luke looked impressed. “You listened to my stuff?”

“No.” you said quickly, looking at the paper again. “Carrie does and walls are thin.” He put his hands up as you handed him the paper. “Sing it?” Luke did so, only glancing up at you once he sang the last note.

“It’s a work in progress.” He admitted, knowing at the time that he just needed to get it out on paper.

“But it’s a good progress.” You told him, offering a smile. Luke’s heart fluttered as he saw it. Whole and Beautiful, just like he wrote. You patted the spot next to you and Luke happily took it, sitting much closer than he was earlier. You didn’t say anything though, not really minding the closeness. “What’s the story behind you and,” you cleared your throat “whoever this is?”

“I’m not sure yet. We just met.”

That threw you hard. Did he write the song about you? You looked down at the piano, feeling Luke’s eyes on the side of your face as you played a note, followed by another and another after a few moments before you came up with a few chords for Luke’s lyrics. You played it again, singing the lyrics softly over it before finishing and looking to Luke. “How does that sound?”

“Perfect.” He whispered out, once again amazed by you. You weren’t at all what he was expecting when he decided on the win-a-date idea, but in no way was Luke complaining because, at that moment when he leaned over and pressed his lips to yours, you didn’t pull away. You weren’t expecting to be kissed right then, but it felt right. With him, it felt right and you couldn’t explain it. Your hand came up to hold the back of his neck, bringing him closer into you as his hand cupped your cheek and the other encircled your waist to hold you.

His tongue dragged across your lip as the kiss deepened and you could only last a few seconds before you and Luke had to pull away. Your breathing was heavy as you locked eyes, letting out a soft giggle at you both. Luke’s thumb ghosted over your lips briefly before dropping.

“Now that was perfect.” You told him and Luke nodded eagerly, biting his lower lip as he looked down to your lips again. Your eyes grew and you grabbed the paper and a pencil, scribbling down some lyrics, but before you could finish, Luke put a hand on your chin and pulled it so you faced him. Your eyes shined as they met and you knew that Luke and you weren’t going to make much progress on the song during your free period.

#Luke Patterson x reader #Luke Patterson imagine #Luke Patterson #Luke Patterson fanfiction #Jatp #Luke Patterson au #Jatp x reader #Jatp imagine #Julie and the phantoms #Julie and the Phantoms imagine #Julie and the Phantoms x reader

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uwumessenger · 3 years

Text

random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

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pixiegrl · 3 years

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57 from the prompt list? -megs 💕

Hi megs (@igarbagecannoteven) This took me a bit but here is it! some Cake for your lovely prompt!

Heart eyes when the other talks, sings, dances, argues, does literally anything especially things which others make fun of them for or find annoying

This is also a part 5 to the Coffee Shop Soundtrack series

On ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31854391

Calum’s just a little in love. He would venture to say it’s more than a little bit, but he’s worried that it’s too soon really. He’s only been dating Luke for a year now, and he’s already so in love with him. He can picture a whole life with Luke, spending everyday waking up next to Luke, in the kitchen with him, curled up on the couch and pressing kisses to his shoulder. There’s no end to any of their lives together, only endless possibilities and first times and love together.

He can picture their future, moving out of the little apartment they share now into a home together. Luke’s still not sure what he wants to do after grad school, but Calum can picture him playing in an orchestra. He can see him playing professional for whoever he wants to. Filled to the brim with talent and excitement. Luke insists he’ll probably be a teacher at a university somewhere. Calum can picture that too, Luke coming home with papers to grade and performances to watch, the two of them curled up on the couch together with Petunia between them, commenting on his students. Calum can picture a home with a garden and a big kitchen for both of them to spend time together. He can picture an extra room for Luke’s instruments, for him to have music lessons or to just play in. Calum pictures getting another dog, having their own little family together.

For now though, they’re sitting in their apartment together. Luke’s teaching Calum to play guitar. They’re having a quiet afternoon with Michael and Ashton. Luke had broken out the guitar, offering to teach Calum while Michael and Ashton ended up in the kitchen trying to make snacks. Calum’s sitting in Luke’s lap, hands overlapping with Calum’s on the strings as he guides Calum through the song. It’s just an excuse for them to hold hands really, giggling with each other as they pluck at the cords. Luke’s resting his chin on Calum’s shoulder, laughing whenever he gets the wrong chords and pressing kisses to his cheek in apology. Calum doesn’t mind too much about the teasing, as long as he gets to spend time with Luke, doing something he loves. Luke spends so much time in the kitchen with Calum, watching him cook or bake and asking for Calum to teach him.

“Okay, okay, we should stop before my fingers start to bleed,” Calum says with a laugh as he plays a sour note. Luke pouts a little, but nods slightly, resting the guitar next to them on the couch and hugging Calum to his chest. Calum sighs happily, burrowing back. He’s smiling, happy and warm in Luke’s arms as he starts to trace little shapes on his tummy. They sit in silence with each other, soft sounds of Petunia snoring and Michael and Ashton arguing in the background. Calum thinks he might doze off for a little bit before Ashton’s heavy foot falls startle him from his light sleep.

“I’m picking the movie. I don’t trust any of you to pick something that isn’t a superhero or a Disney movie,” he says, standing at the edge of the couch. He stares down at the guitar and back up at Luke and Calum expectantly. Luke nudges Calum on the shoulder. Calum turns around, sees the wide eyed pleading look on Luke’s face.

“Oh come on,” Calum whines a little. Luke puts on a mock pout.

“Pretty please?” he whines a little, widening his eyes even more. Calum sighs heavily, detaching himself from Luke’s arms and pushing himself to stand. His knees and back pop a little, sore from the position he’s been curled up in.

“This is only because I love you,” Calum sighs dramatically. Luke beams, tilting his head back and pursing his lips. Calum leans down, pressing a kiss to them. He hears Ashton huff and roll his eyes next to them.

“Stop being so in love and go help Michael. He’s going to burn the popcorn,” Ashton says, sitting down on the couch once Calum takes the guitar. Calum huffs, flipping him off as he takes the guitar to its stand and heading into the kitchen.

Michael’s standing at the microwave, watching the popcorn going around and around in it, little popping noises from it. Calum comes to stand beside him, glancing over at where Luke is on the couch, trying to snag the remote from Ashton’s hands, whining when he holds it out of reach. Calum smiles, heart melting a little at his laugh.

“You’re doing it again,” Michael says. Calum startles, glancing over at him. Michael’s looking at him intensely, eyebrows raised.

“Doing what?”

“The heart eye thing. Where you stare at Luke like he’s the center of your world,” Michael says. Calum blushes a little, glancing back over to where Luke is sitting.

“He is,” Calum says. It surprises him how honest and real that sentence feels. Luke is the center of Calum’s world, as cheesy as it sounds. He likes to think about Luke throughout the day, text him funny pictures and things, make treats at the bakery that he can bring home to Luke. Calum

Michael turns to him, a surprised expression on his face.

“Is he?”

“I think I’m in love with him. Wait...not think. I know. I know I’m in love with him. I want to marry him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, Michael.”

“God don’t get all sappy. I hate it when you’re sappy,” Michael says. There’s no heat to his words, just a soft smile there. Calum sighs, blushing again and glancing away.

“You’re just as bad,” he mumbles, glancing back at the microwave.

“If it helps, he does it with you,” Michael says after a pause. Calum glances over at him, brows furrowed.

“Hm?”

“The heart eyes. When you turn around, he stares at you like you hang the moon in the sky. He used to gaze at you all forlornly in the cafe until you started dating. He looks so happy whenever you’re in the room. You both always look so happy and in love. You guys have created this perfect world here. It’s easy to see how happy you both are,” Michael says. Calum smiles, blushing as he looks away.

Calum glances across the apartment, the photos lining the walls, the bits of their combined lives that are laying around the apartment, cookbooks and musical instruments, gaze landing on where Luke’s sitting on the couch. He’s curled up in the corner, leaning against the armrest. He’s laughing at something Ashton’s said, knees tucked under his chin as he smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners. Calum’s heart swells just looking at him. He can picture this image forever, Luke with grayer hair and laugh lines, curled up on the couch, trying to pick something to watch and demanding Calum come back to the couch to keep him warm. He can picture getting to do this in a house instead of their tiny apartment, Petunia huffing on the other side of the couch when Calum comes over and jostles her.

“Just propose to him already,” Michael says, pulling Calum from his thoughts and rolling his eyes. Calum smiles.

“I’m trying to find the right moment. I want it to be perfect.”

“You asking will make it perfect. Luke loves you. He’ll be happy just to marry you,” Michael says. Calum hums, glancing from Michael back to Luke.

“I will. I will,” he says. Michael squeezes his arm, smiling before heading off into the living room to add to the discussion about what to watch. Calum follows after him, stopping at the edge of the couch. Luke immediately makes space for Calum on the couch, letting him wedge himself into the corner and letting Luke snuggle up into his chest, sighing happily. Calum taps Luke on the shoulder, pressing a kiss to Luke’s lips when he tilts his head back up. Luke smiles in the kiss, making a happy, surprised noise in the back of his throat.

“What was that for?” Luke asks, giggling. Calum smiles, ducking down to kiss him again.

“Just cause I love you.”

“You’re too sweet to me,” Luke says, smiling. He bumps their noses together, rubbing them slightly. Calum pulls back, grabbing onto Luke’s hand and squeezing. Calum can see it on Luke’s face, if he looks close enough. The sparkling in his eyes, dimples indenting his cheeks, the little happy sigh he does when he’s holding Calum’s hand. Calum can see the little heart eyes that he’s making at Luke, the ones that Michael said were easy to spot. They’re there as he snuggles Into Calum’s side, nuzzling his shoulder, and making a happy little noise. Calum leans down to press a kiss to his temple.

“Never too sweet for the boy I love.”

“I love you too. You know that right?” Luke asks, tilting his head back, concern on his face. Calum presses a soft kiss to his lips.

“Of course I know that. Besides, who else is going to put up with your cold feet and terrible cooking besides me. You have to keep me around,” Calum says, laughing when Luke smacks him. He’s sure both he and Luke have the sappiest looks on their faces as they snuggle back together, listening to Michael and Ashton argue over what movie to put on, but he doesn’t care. There isn’t anywhere else he would rather be with then here, with the love of his life.

#5 seconds of summer #cake #luke hemmings #calum hood #soft bakery boys #fluff #softness #just boys being cute #my writing

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oceanera12 · 3 years

Text

Star Wars x Percy Jackson

Okay so this was a LOT harder then I thought it was going to be on the account that literally everyone in the GFFA is related to one another. So for the sake of my sanity (and yours) let’s just assume that no one is related so I can figure out what kriffing Olympian attributed to them (also we are keeping them all Greek to save me that headache)

Also to keep my sanity I split everyone up by Trilogy/TV Show so just assume each each are a new generation (with some overlapping)--

Also I’m not doing everyone because there is way too many kriffing characters so get ready for highlights and personal favorites. If you have anyone to add, comment or feel free to add! (Last “also”, promise! I stuck mostly with the big twelve to, you guessed it, preserve my sanity!)

Prequels:

Yoda is from Dionysus cabin--FIGHT ME ON THIS. I could not figure out why he talks like he does and came to the conclusion is he is definitely “drunk” on Kool-Aid. Also I like the idea of him growing vines and plants because of Dagoba. He is a camp councilor that’s been around for longer than anyone can remember by Chiron likes him well enough.

Mace is a child of Hades. ... I honestly don’t know why, but as soon as that image popped into my head I accepted it. Maybe it’s because of his stoic personality or maybe the fact he fights in a very angry style, to which I say, “skeletons ripping up from the earth”.

Qui-Gon-- for some bizarre reason the idea of Hypnos popped into my head and I now I cannot get it to leave me alone. So Qui is from Hypnos cabin. He gets a lot of sleep and even more visions of the future (such as a very powerful half-blood coming to camp and he’s now determined to find that kid)

Obi-Wan was tricky. I debated between a lot of cabins and none of them seemed to work for him. I finally settled on Hephaestus, which seems weird but let me explain. Obi-Wan feels like someone who would totally be into arts and crafts, if he could have. Hephaestus cabin usually has a good head and are quite smart

Anakin is from Zeus Cabin. Did you expect anything less? This kid is Mr. Lightning summoning, sword wielding, insane power with way too many emotions. (It was either that or Hephaestus but... “Chosen One” and all that)

Padme is 100% from Athena cabin. That’s it. Fight me.

Palpatine is a weird one because I’d usually just make him a monster or something like a Titan but... eh. I’m going Hermes because this boy knows how to lie and trick people (a lot like Luke, now that I think about it...). A friend of mine also suggested the child of Nemesis, the goddess of Revenge which could also work so pick your pick.

R2-D2 and C-3PO are satyrs. Very annoying, very loud, satyrs. 3PO goes on and on about the importance of nature and R2 follows behind him creating his own form of chaos. Most people avoid them.

Clone Wars:

Ahsoka is also from Athena cabin. I just like to picture her fighting with two knives and flipping around like a gymnast. But she’s more chill then Ares cabin--although she does love hanging out with those boys. She’s unofficially adopted by Ares cabin as a sister in arms so that’s cool.

Ares Cabin just consists of all the clones, okay? It was either that or Hermes but I just couldn’t imagine my boys without their military structure. Cody’s head of the cabin and has to try and keep all of his siblings in line-- very poorly, but he’s doing his best.

Satine is in Demeter Cabin. I wasn’t sure where else to put a pacifist but I thought it suited her well enough. Ex-girlfriend of Obi-Wan but they are on friendly terms (and there is a running bet on when they will get back together)

Rebels:

Kanan was really hard to figure out. I decided to make him Poseidon’s kid because he’s usually really chill in the show. For the most part, he’s really laid back and doesn’t use any water abilities unless he has too. Prefers to fight with a sword, but can use a crossbow surprising well. Has a street kid background so he gets along with the Hermes cabin really well and has kind of “adopted” one of the kids there (three guesses as to who)

Hera has to fly, okay? She has to be able to fly either a Pegasus or actually fly which leaves either Zeus, Apollo, or Poseidon as the main picks, which I don’t think any of those scream Hera. In fact, flip them, she’s a mortal that see’s through the Mist. She somehow got dragged into this world of monsters and demi-gods and is now chilling at the camp just for the heck of it. It may or may not have had something to do with her now-Boyfriend Kanan who may or may not have been on a quest at the time when he accidently destroyed her apartment because of a stupid hellhound.

Ezra is in Hermes cabin. This tiny little thief is wonderful and is a cute little blueberry. Kanan kind of unofficially adopted the kid so Ezra is usually drenched from swimming in the lake.

Zeb is from Athena cabin. Very skilled with a staff and very into battle meditation. Not super into the “intelligent” side of Athena, but he is in no way an idiot. Get’s into a lot of trouble with Ezra because why not?

Sabine I could totally see being the child of Apollo, but she joined Artemis Huntresses (maybe out of spite to her Dad but also because a bunch of warrior women? Heck, yeah!). Very artsy, excellent shot with a bow, and is much, much cooler then her dad.

Chopper is a very lazy, very stubborn Hellhound, fight me on this (and may have been the Hellhound Kana was fighting when he met Hera, but he’s now attached to this strange mortal woman who literally told off these two for destroying her house).

Original:

Luke was almost a child of the big three (specifically Hades for some bizarre reason--don’t ask me why, I don’t know how my brain got on that) but then I remembered that Hecate was a thing soooooo... Luke Skywalker, the son of Hecate, goddess of magic. He manipulates the mist and stuff like that. Also likes to fly Pegasi.

Leia... okay, this is going to sound really weird but I kind of see Leia as a child of Aphrodite. Not obsessed with how she looks and all that stuff, but more like Piper. Very strong willed, determined, and keeps your attention. She fights for what she believes in (loves) and can kick butt. It was either that or Athena but... eh, let’s turn that on it’s side, shall we?

Han is Hermes. What did you expect?

Chewbacca is a satyr. I don’t know if you expected any differently, but I’m picturing Coach Hedge just not... insane. Very much likes to fight monsters and is very protective of Han.

Lando is... tricky. I’m going to go with Dionysus simply because of the party factor, but don’t cross him. He can mess you up.

Sequels:

Rey is unclaimed. She chills in Hermes cabin and has no idea who her Godly parent is... which she mopes about a lot. ((I literally could not figure out who’s daughter she would be because that’s kind of the whole Trilogy. And then it hit me like an out of control Pegasus.))

Poe is from Apollo cabin and can usually be found on a Pegasus. His favorite is nicknamed BB and is white with “orange” spots. Very good at flying and shooting a bow at the same time. Yes, he’s a show off and yes, he’s very good in a fight.

Finn is in Ares cabin. But he’s more like Frank in the sense of he’s definitely nicer then most of his cabinmates. Excellent fighter but does not have that stupid Ares temper... most days (don’t cross Finn or he will mess you up)

Rose gets to be a child of Hephaestus. She’s smart and is an engineer, simple as that.

Kylo/Ben is in Aphrodite cabin simply because I want him there. He’s prissy, full of himself, and a jerk and if that isn’t Aphrodite, I don’t know what is (I’m sorry, I just hated Aphrodite in the books and Kylo was kind of a “meh” character soooooooooo...)

#fandom meets fandom #percy jackson #star wars #star wars original trilogy #star wars prequels #star wars sequals #star wars rebels #star wars the clone wars #too many characters to tag #au #au's galore #would you believe luke and leia were the hardest to come up with?#seriously #i could not figure them out for the life of me

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mochideleche · 4 years

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can’t keep away from fate | CH9

Pairing : Percy jackson x demigod!reader

summary : The daughter of destiny- literally, along with inevitability, compulsion and necessity. Being the child of a primordial goddess doesn’t really assure you a quiet, calm life but when you return to new york after five years of being shipped off to boarding school, your once mundane life says goodbye.

A/N thank you all for all the lovely support and messages, they honestly make my day uwu. Also! i’m so sorry for keeping you waiting but im giving myself a break from school work so here you go!

contents page

Normally percy would hate sleeping. As much as he needed it - which he found was very often these days, the nightmares were nothing to look forward to.

However these day, percy found a little enjoyment in them.

Sometimes he’d dream of kronos and his army, luke’s golden eyes, camp half blood but now he saw dreams of you.

It had been a few months since he’d seen you, since he kissed you- percy always relived the moment, snapping back to reality to find himself smiling like an idiot and flushing red, but his dreams were the only way he could see you.

Undoubtedly, Percy tried to iris message you, but to no avail, you’d never be reached or the line would go black every time it went through.

That worried him.

He’d brought it up to chiron the first time it happened, but chiron suggested that you were probably cutting the line of yourself- if luke had somehow got to interfere with the iris messages he’d figure out what you were doing.

Sometimes when percy made visits to camp he’d see new faces along with hearing about the heroic journeys the children had taken to get to camp along your side.

“She was so cool!” one of the kids who percy had asked about their arrival (obviously wanting to hear about you), “She fought off this army of half dog half seal men with just waving her hands!”

You had acquired a new nickname, ‘the guardian angel’ seeming the way you delivered demigod kids safely to camp so stealthily that they wouldn’t even had known it until the children popped up on half blood hill. Then you were gone without a trace again, off to find other demigods. It sometimes pained percy that you were frequently within reachable bounds to camp but he never got to see even a glimpse of you.

There were also rumours, which were most definitely true, about how luke’s ranks were decreasing in number- random disappearances, as nico di angelo had described them as, of your doing.

“I sensed her presence when i was in the forests of new jersey,” nico explained to the counsellors during one of their meetings, “along with about 2 dozen laistrygonian giants and by the time that i got there-” he clicked his fingers and scrunched his eyebrows in confusion “they were both gone”

Gosh somehow it made percy feel bad that all he could do was sit back and wait whilst you were out there surviving on your own and fighting monsters and saving children.

What a hero he was.

Yes, he was fated to fight with the titan lord but right now, he was busy fighting his math homework.

Percy stared dejectedly at his unfinished work, gods he missed you.

The way you’d laugh when he did something stupid, the way you smelt like magnolias, the way you would place your hands on his to comfort him and the way you seemed like nothing bothered you and how you say everything would always turn out right.

Percy definitely needed to be told that right now.

------

Whenever percy felt like he was done for, he’d think about you. Even if he did just see one of his friends sacrifice his life, had an arrow shot through his leg and was falling 20 feet towards a huge mass of water- he was able to keep himself just that little bit more hopeful by just thinking about you.

I need to see her again, Percy thought as he his collided with the water.

He blacked out and was immediately pulled into a dream.

He found himself on top of Mount Othrys in a greek pavilion of black marble that seemed to blend in with the shadows. Through the darkness he was able to make out two giant figures : one seemed to glow against the black walls of the building and the other seemed to melt into them.

“Quite an explosion” one remarked.

“it doesn’t matter, our army shall rise again to destroy the gods” the other snided.

“hm, quite so,” the other agreed calmly, “but the demigods are becoming more, diligent. First the disappearances of our troops and now the explosion, right in front of kronos’ nose, ha”

Percy’s heart dropped, he knew what was causing those disappearances- it was you. What if they find out it was you? what would they do? would they try and track you down? kidnap you?-

“This would have not happened if you would let me fight!” a voice shouted and percy realised that there were in fact three giants there, crouched below in the centre of the room under what percy thought to be a statue was the titan atlas.

he struggled under the weight of the sky, a swirling funnel cloud, but still managed to strain his voice to argue, “let me out! take my place!”

But before Percy could watch any further his dream shifted. The voices became quiet- they were distant, he was no longer standing in the greek pavilion but about 20 feet away, standing behind one of the supporting columns and beside nico di angelo.

The boy faced him, “You see percy, we’re running out of time, do you really think we can win without my plan?”

The fact that nico had seen him shocked percy enough but his message was more than enough to shake percy to try and wake himself up from his dream.

But the image began to fade and he found himself off of mount Othyrs and in a more flattened out land.

At first he thought he was in the forests of long island but he noticed the trees here were thicker, Their branches coming down lower than the ones around camp and the air was more chilly. This was not New York.

Percy tried to take in his surrounds then caught his breath.

There standing behind a large oak tree was a petite girl with her long hair flowing down her back, wearing an army jacket and black ripped jeans and holding out two long drakon bone swords.

You looked distressed. Your face was pulled into a slight scowl as you peered around the tree and into the forest behind you. Percy knew you were in some sort of trouble but he couldn’t help but smile.

But the smile quickly disappeared when an arrow shot out of nowhere and embedded itself in the oak tree you were standing behind.

You broke out into a run and percy followed in suit.

Unknowingly, percy reached into his pocket and pulled out riptide, his first instinct was to fight whatever wanted to hurt you but he quickly realised that there wasn’t much he could do so could only keep up pace beside you.

Most dreams you were in seemed heavenly to percy, but this was a nightmare.

Seeing you need his help but not being able to do anything killed percy. Of course he had no doubt that you could handle anything by yourself, but then again, you wouldn’t be running away if you could.

Despite not actually running percy found that he was becoming short of breath, you were an awfully fast runner.

“Percy you’ve done so well, but I think it’s time you woke up”

Percy’s head snapped towards you. you were staring right at him.

You glanced away momentarily to keep track of where you were going before placing your gaze on him again, “I miss you”

Percy was at a lost for words. Months he’s spent trying to contact you, dreamt of you, trying to reach out to you and now, when time was limited, you had answered him and not only that, you were telling him to go away.

“Y/N-” but the scene began to fade and percy panicked, why of all times he had to start waking up now?

He felt himself began to slip into consciousness but he stubbornly did his best to try to go back to sleep.

but alas, your soft smile disappeared along with the dream as percy’s eyes shot open.

----

Percy didn’t think things would go so downhill. If anyone told him that the highlight of his week would be a midnight panic with a goddess, the son of hades and a hell hound, he’d pretty much expect it.

As he sat down by the magical fire, he got some time to think.

After being told that he’d end up dying either way and committing to a plan that would probably speed up the process, he was pretty miserable.

“things will only turn out that way if you think they will”

Your voice echoed in percy’s head, it had become a sort of habit every time he found himself thinking negatively.

Yeah but it’s in the prophecy princess, i die no matter how positively I think.

Then a sudden pain stabbed percy in the heart, If he didn’t survive nico’s plan he wasn’t going to see you again.

He was hoping some how you’d turn up in the next few days, (after nico assured him that you in fact were still alive and he had not felt your death- but that only gave percy temporary relief) He knew there just had to be a way he would see you before his destined fight, you were the daughter of fate after all- maybe you had to like... force great prophecies like this...? it was ridiculous but thoughts like this made percy hopeful.

“you are distressed” Hesita commented and percy was worried that she could read his thoughts.

“the time will come and you will know what the right decision is” the goddess said vaguely

“Uh, thanks” Percy nodded, not knowing what else to say and the goddess return to attending the hearth, why couldn’t gods ever speak plain english?

----

Percy had been to the underworld when he was 12. It was a long, tiring trip that took them to los Angeles and had nearly killed him bout 7 times. And only now did he find out about an entrance to hell which was literally 20 minutes away from his house- brilliant.

the stairs to hell were exactly how percy imagined them, dark, slippery and narrow. The only way he could actually see was by the light of his sword and the fact that mrs o’leary bounding down the stairs noisily reassured him that the stairs didn't end in a great drop to an endless pit to Tartarus.

Nico lagged behind, a look of doubt evident of his face.

“You alright?” percy dared to ask, hoping the boy wouldn't become defensive at the question.

Nico nodded, but opened his mouth to say something, “i saw her you know”

Percy stopped, saw who? he thought for a quick second then immediately knew nico meant you.

By this point nico had caught up with percy and stood just two steps behind him, “ She- when we first met she offered me the keys to her apartment”

“She what?” Percy interrupted, too surprised not to. he knew that you owned an apartment in Queens- a gift from your father for when you stayed in New York, and he knew that whatever you and nico had talked about had stayed between the two of you, but this? Why didn’t he get keys to your apartment?

Nico turned away to avoid eye contact, percy realised he must have been staring at him hard and tried to change his expression

“She told me that i could stay there anytime if i needed it. I wasn’t going to step near that place at all. But one night i got into an argument with my father and had nowhere else to go...”

Nico trailed off and percy was worried that he was beginning to back track on himself and regret ever saying anything to Percy, but thankfully after a deep inhale of breath, he continued.

“I was only planning to stay there for a few hours, but it just so happened she was there too. She was asleep but it seemed like she was having a bad dream. kept murmuring things-”

Nico shuddered, “I woke her up in the end and asked her about it but she shook it off. Moved the subject onto the fact that i had actually taken up her offer and decided to make me dinner. What she said though- it, it seemed important”

“What did she say?” percy asked, if nico was scared then he knew this was serious.

“Something about to storm or fire the world must fall”

Percy looked up at nico’s face, he seemed as disturbed as he was back at mrs castellan’s house. Panic rose up within percy.

“It’s probably nothing though” nico shrugged but percy could tell that he didn’t mean it at all, but despite that nico walked past percy and continued down the stairs, “we should hurry up, we’re losing valuable time”

Percy had no other option but to follow and wonder, why did nico chose to bring this up now?

.....

“Percy!”

before he was fully awake, percy had reached out and pinned nico to the floor with his sword pressed against his neck.

“we-have-to-get-out-of-here” nico struggled.

“Oh yeah? and why should i trust you?” percy growled, pressing down harder.

“No-other-choice?”

Percy rolled his eyes, he really did have no other choice.

He stood up as nico curled to the side and retched up for air. Percy would’ve almost felt sorry for him if he hadn’t just betrayed him to his father.

“Does your dad want to ‘talk’ again?” Percy seethed and nico sat himself up.

“honestly percy i had no idea, he tricked me!”

“You know what your dad is like!”

“Yeah but-” nico paused and stood up, quickly realising that there was no point in reasoning, “If we don't hurry, we’ll never get out”

Percy nodded once and allowed nico to take the lead as they plunged into darkness.

by the time the two of them had reached an exit via the palace kitchen, percy was half dragging, half carrying nico who spent every other minute pointing at skeleton guards or zombie servants and knocking them out before they could think about stopping the two escape.

Problem was, nico was going to be knocked out pretty soon too.

“Stop that” Percy said, “your power drains you too much”

by this time nicos legs stopped working all together and percy had no choice but to swing the younger boy over his shoulder.

“With great power,” nico said drowsily, “comes great need to take a nap”

Then the sound of a great gong echoed throughout the building.

“Alarms” nico said drowsily from behind percy, “Mrs O’leary”

“Right” percy said, and whistled.

Mrs O’leary came bounding across the fields of asphodel, probably excited to be back in her own grounds, and circled percy who desperately tired to throw nico onto her back.

“Hey, girl, think you can get us to the river styx?” Percy asked as calmly as possible, despite the sounds of a thousand skeletons footsteps coming their way.

Mrs o’leary barked in response and bounded off into the fields.

On approaching the river bank, Percy force fed Nico some ambrosia. He was scared that he had given him too much but the boy was knocked out pretty good. But after a few shakes of his head, nico was steady enough to stand on his own two feet.

the two boys slid off Mrs O’Leary’s back and ran towards the river.

“Percy you need to prepare yourself” nico said cautiously, causing percy’s stride to slow.

“How do I do that?” Percy asked and nico shook his head.

“You know I don’t think this is a good idea-”

“What?! this was your plan in the first place!”

“Yeah but-” nico seemed to struggle for words but exhaled as if he was angry and shook off his previous statement, “Think of a point on your body which will tie you back to reality and don't stop thinking about it otherwise the river will burn you to ashes, okay?”

“You know what maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all-”

“Percy!”

“Right right,” percy defended, inching closer towards the river.

at first when he nico had proposed the idea, percy had a long think of where the point would be. Somewhere difficult to reach during combat, maybe his armpit? but then he decided he wanted it to be somewhere more dignified.

he hadn’t thought on the matter since then, which was pretty stupid since the decision could possibly end or save his life but as his foot touched the river he knew exactly where he wanted it.

Percy wanted to walk cooly into the river, but as soon as the water touched his legs, his muscles went numb and he fell face flat into the water.

Then he stopped breathing.

It was terrible, this was the first time he struggled to breath underwater and the thought terrified him. images from the past few days flashed before his eyes in the darkness, beckendorf, rachel, grover and even lukes golden eyes.

instead of resulting to panic, percy kept thinking of that point, the one point where his life would end in a single blow, thinking about how that was his connection to the living world.

“You alright?” you said suddenly as you came to stand next to percy.

Percy jumped, he hadn’t heard you or sensed you coming up behind him, (although you were getting better at hiding you presence) and he flashed you a smile, “Yeah, just thinking”

“About what?” you asked calmly.

He stared at your face, it was always so stoic, as if you couldn’t care less about what he said but he knew that you genuinely cared for his happiness as much as your own.

“You”

Your eyes widened as you turned away but percy was able to catch that small flash of blush before you did, “shut up”

percy laughed, a genuine laugh that came from his stomach, you were just so damn cute.

he wasn’t exactly thinking of you, so to say, he was thinking about you amongst other things such as how to kill kronos, how to become better at sword fighting, how to do question five on his trig homework.

He faced the river again so that you would turn back towards him, which worked- of course.

“Stop being so sad all the time will you?” you said light heartedly as you tapped percy on the small of his back, “you being sad makes me sad too just so you know, so stop it” and you began to jog past him towards the surf.

percy struggled, trying to win the fight against the current but there was no use. He felt his arms and legs disintegrating and his soul felt like it was being ripped from his body.

he thrashed around in the coldness trying to reach for the surface and trying his best to keep thinking of his mortal point,

percy was on his last class of the day, he had set them a few drills to practice for the second half of the hour and was watching them with tired eyes. all he wanted to do was sleep.

suddenly he felt a little poke on his back, at the bottom of his spine.

“They’re doing well, aren't they?”

Percy craned his neck to face you, your head tilted slightly to be able to see past his shoulders, your hands still rested just above his hips.

“of course, i taught them” percy scoffed

“and so did i” you countered, “and just for your information, they enjoy my lessons better”

“Who says?” percy laughed, uncrossing his arms and fully turning his body to face you.

“I do” you smiled, making percy’s knees go weak.

Percy tried to push his way to the surface but it was no use, the more he moved, the faster he sunk. This is it, he thought, i’m going to burn alive in hell.

“Sleeping again jackson?”

immediately your fingers tapped the small of percy’s back and he peeled open one eye to see your figure silhouetted against the shine of the sun.

He had taken a nap on the deck, laying on his stomach, one arm under his face and the other hanging off the edge of the deck, and you were currently crouched down with a mocking smile on your face.

“yes, and you're disturbing me” he slurred out and he turned his face to the other side.

“Oh i wouldn’t say this is distracting” you joked, “this is”

And you pushed percy into the water.

Suddenly percy felt a tug at the bottom of his spine and he began to make his way to the surface. it was as if there was a bungee cord attached to the small of his back, pulling him back to the shore. he ignored the searing pain in his lungs, arms and legs and kept his focus on his mortal point.

think of the small of your back, small of your back, small of your back...

he did his best to look up and through the darkness he could make an outline of a hand, reaching in to help him out.

“oh gods i’m so sorry, i didn’t know you’d be that off guard! now take my hand you idiot”

percy reached out to grab your hand.

He sputtered as air returned its way back into his lungs and he landed on the shore of the beach, but the sand felt more solid, oddly shaped, just like-

“Percy get off me! you’re heavy!”

Percy pushed himself up and stared down at nico who was red in the face and soaking wet too,

“S-sorry dude-” Percy stuttered, did he really just imagine nico was you?

He got to his feet then held his hand out to nico who ignored it and pushed himself up, was he really that angry that percy had squashed him?

“Uh- did it work?” Percy asked tentatively, scared that nico was more than just pissed.

“I have no idea” nico responded, sounding surprisingly bitter, “feel different?”

“Not really” percy said slowly, but before he could apologise again for landing on nico a harsh voice shouted in the distance “THERE!”

The two boys’ head snapped to the top of the hill where about a hundred skeleton soldiers stood, weapons raised and all- eyes? they didn’t have eyes, all heads, faced towards them.

Hades stood in his chariot, dressed in battle gear, his nightmare horses skittering on the ground as if they were eager to stampede over percy’s body, “You will not escape this time jackson, DESTROY HIM”

“father no!” nico exclaimed but a line of british red coat skeletons charged with their rifles aimed.

Mrs o’leary did not hesitate to pounce at them and that tiggered percy.

He didn’t want his dog getting hurt just because hades was being a dick, and he charged without any other thought.

If he was going to die, he wanted to die fighting.

Percy was reckless, but this? this was a whole other level, damn- even another building. He charged straight through their lines, slashing his sword, not even thinking about where to strike but just did.

Bullets? didn't hit him. Swords? couldn’t cut him. Clubs? couldn’t even get an inch near him. (Hotel? Trivago.)

He’d successfully tore his way through the ranks and pounced right over hades’ horses and grabbed the god by his collar and pinned him to the ground.

Silence.

Percy was expecting skeletal hands to come down on him but as he looked around, there was nothing there- they were all gone.

“listen here jackson...” the god said.

“No you listen!” percy growled, “tell me about the trap!”

but the god just snarled and melted into darkness, leaving percy’s hands closed around nothing.

“You killed them all...” nico said dazed, breaking percy out of his cursing spree.

Percy stopped and looked around him, there was nothing apart from the three of them, a bunch of bones and a variety of weapons.

“I guess it worked then” percy offered.

“Oh gee” nico said sarcastically, “you think?”

the two of them stood silent momentarily and percy stared at nico.

He’d come a long way from where he began, and percy still felt like that it was his fault that nico became so bitter.

“You should go back to your father” percy started.

Nico looked shocked to hear this, “no, I want to fight-”

“You’ll be better off down here” Percy said, the harshness in his voice surprising even him.

the look of hurt on nicos face made him feel guilty, “I mean, we need your father to fight on our side, you’re the only one who can convince him” percy continued, trying to sound kinder.

“You don’t trust me anymore, do you?” nico said dejectedly.

Percy was shocked, did he trust him?

“Work on him. I know you can do it”

Percy couldn’t help but notice how nicos face lit up slightly after hearing him, “thanks but don't get your hopes up”

“Okay, I’ll see you for the battle, me and Mrs O’leary will head up now” Percy said, waving over his hell hound.

“Where are you going?” nico asked, tilting his head as percy jumped on Mrs O’leary’s back.

Percy smirked, “to start a war”

#Percy #percy jackson #PERCY JACKSON SERIES #percy jackson fanfiction #percy fanfiction #The Heroes of Olympus #percy jackson and the heroes of olympus #the heroes of olympus fan fic #Percy Jackson imagine #percy jackson fandom #percy jackson fanfic

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aqvarius · 5 years

Text

[WALKTHROUGH + REVIEW + CG] Romance MD: Munechika Takado

Expectations:

To be honest I wasn’t super excited when I saw the trailer for Romance MD. I thought it was just going to be another teacher/student romance with the basic Voltage storylines where one or two events would get closer and they’d fall in love etc.). That being said, I was actually quite interested in most of the potential LIs even though they do seem quite conventional for the standard Voltage lineup (oresama, kuudere, darudere/4D, flirty, jokey but actually hardcore ossan). I do also like the character designs. The one I was most interested in was Kyogoku because I can’t place his type. He’s been described as a prodigy, not too empathetic, feisty, cute, has a chilly side, tricky, coy, shady, obsessed with Kasumi. So I think he’s actually one of those devil with an angel face types? Cute on the surface but actually a bit shady? Maybe it’s because of his character design but he just reminds me SO much of Shinonome from Her Love in the Force. I keep calling him Ayumu because of that and I think it would be interesting if they were actually similar because Ayumu is one of those characters that I think is quite unusual for Voltage games because he doesn’t completely fit into one of their usual archetypes.

Anyway, this is not about Sen. This is about Takado. I knew he was the title character for Romance MD but I still had all of my fingers crossed that we would get someone else’s route first like Finally in Love Again had Aki as the first release rather than Momoi (I think?). And some other games had title characters that weren’t the usual type (like Issei from Kiss of Revenge and Masaomi from Serendipity Next Door). I also think that the only characters released so far are Takado and Hosho (I’ve searched and searched to get CGs or ameblo posts about the other guys but to no avail). So I kinda hoped they would give us Hosho first LOL or maybe just surprise us all and give us Kasumi but alas.

Finally, my expectations going in were that Takado was going to be the quintessential oresama type (like Eisuke/Leon) because he has that spiky brown hair look lol? I also thought the MC was going to be like the standard MC. What a fool I was…

Click below to read the full review, plus walkthrough and CGs PLUS THE ELUSIVE MC SPRITE.

Reactions:

My first reaction is that this MC (henceforth Dr. MC) is so annoying. She wouldn’t stop running her mouth, she was arrogant, she seemed a little inconsistent? The guys accuse her of being a journal junkie at the beginning and to be honest, they’re kind of right. She’s super nerdy to the point where it’s kind of over the top? Don’t get me wrong, nerds are great. I’m a researcher. I moved to a new city to study under my academic crush too. I get it. Sometimes other MCs are annoying because they’re too wholesome and earnest. This time, it got to the point where I was begging to have OG MC traits back. I almost cried with relief when I first saw her demonstrate empathy.

I think the thing that made me dislike her almost immediately was how clinically she originally described the ICU team. It sort of felt like Voltage was trying to push the ‘these guys are beautiful!’ and the ‘Dr. MC doesn’t give a fuck about real men’ points too hard and it sort of became contradictory, especially because the narrative is read through the player’s/MC’s perspective. So she had to explain how ‘objectively’ good looking they all are without gushing and thus it became this very clinical expression of their looks while also really pushing that opposing point of “but I don’t care around real men”. I think that it would have been fine for MC to appreciate how good looking they are but sort of have a ‘snap out of it’/’pull yourself together’ moment where she reminds herself what she’s here for. Like I think it’s fine and probably in fact more relatable to be able to acknowledge handsome men and be a bookworm/academically inclined and also enjoy 2D men lol. You don’t have to treat people like specimens MC

(Just say he’s beautiful. We all know he is)

I get that they needed her to be special in some way so Matsunaga would hire her, but she could have gotten hired on talent alone. I don’t think they needed her to be all like “this kabedon does absolutely nothing to me”. Overall I think her being totally uninterested in dating doesn’t quite mesh from the perspective of the player. I’m assuming most of us play otome games because we’re interested in dating the characters or seeing them fall in love, right? The game tried to be meta and make fun of the shoujo manga/otoge tropes at least three times (e.g. kabedon, cooking for LI when they’re sick and getting close, wiping tears leading to a kiss) but honestly, I play these games to experience all that cheesy shit lol. So for me I didn’t think it was particularly clever to reference these tropes and play them off. The audience tends to play these games for these moments lmao? Right?

(I agree, Takado.)

The one thing that all Voltage MCs have, however, is persistence. And my God does Dr. MC have persistence in spades. I actually didn’t mind it too much but I think it’s because it was sort of turned into a bit of a joke so the humour kind of played a role in tamping down what might have otherwise been obnoxious (when she kept waking Takado up I was like omg just LET! HIM! SLEEP!). I do also like that Dr. MC is very competent. Her shortcomings don’t have anything to do with technical ability which is quite refreshing. In this game, Dr. MC is more just inexperienced and idealistic when it comes to the actual practice of medicine and its accompanying emotional (and otherwise) complications.

The thing that I feel is her biggest flaw is her arrogance. I know, right? A Voltage MC, arrogant?! It’s unthinkable!! Usually Voltage MCs are insecure, self-deprecating, self-doubting. At times they are competent enough, or have moments of inspiration that allow them to do well. This Dr. MC is clever, and she knows it. Unfortunately, just having read lots of journals does not a good doctor make. Luckily, she becomes more likable when she finally gets taken down a peg and actually starts listening to Takado. I feel like Voltage tried to switch up their MC personalities (as seen with Masquerade Kiss too) but I think they tried to make Dr. MC snarky and sassy but she just comes across as arrogant/rude a lot of the time, like have some respect for your seniors please. When it comes to backtalking MCs, I much prefer Ayumu’s or Toma’s (from Irresistible Mistakes) MC. But at least Dr. MC is not as awful as Luke Foster’s MC in Kissed by the Baddest Bidder. Luke’s MC is my least favourite of all time and I honestly think he needs to leave her.

Also! I think with the JP version, you can choose whether or not to have the MC sprite. In the Love 365 version, you aren’t given that choice but the elusive MC sprite does pop up randomly in one frame.

(Tbh I prefer it without the sprite bc her hair reminds me of 2015/2016 me lol)

Her interactions with the other doctors is quite enjoyable, particularly with Kyogoku and Hosho, although I have to admit they’re enjoyable because Kyogoku and Hosho are really fun. I especially enjoyed with Ekuni joined in and did like the little snippets of Kasumi time you get as well. I do wish there was more time spent in the Pen (with Kalmia!) but alas, you get what you can. Kyogoku seems nicer than I expected he would be (because I really thought he would be Ayumu 2.0 – maybe he will be in his own route, but he does come off nicer than that snarky devil Ayumu). Kasumi also seems less cold than I expected. Hosho and Matsunaga were basically how I thought they would be, and Ekuni too to some extent, although I wasn’t expecting Ekuni to be such a mum and give them custom drug cocktails to pump them full of nutrients lol. I want Ekuni (my future husband) route so badly. I’m going to end up with a whole folder of images of him with that internal dialogue board lol. I did enjoy some of her conversation with Sex Maniac/resident slut Hosho (when his route comes out I won’t forget that he went on a date with Sara from Cardio………..) as well but I feel like Dr. MC doesn’t react enough to be more interesting? I know I sound like a typical Voltage LI, you know when they’re always telling MC she’s interesting cause her face shows everything she’s thinking and they like her reactions? That me lmao. But when she does react, she overreacts. Like, she doesn’t react to intimate/sexual things but then she FLIPS OUT because Takado was AWOL for literally a day and she thinks he died. You know what, he wasn’t even AWOL, he was literally on his day off. Take a chill pill, Dr. MC - maybe Ekuni can whip up a special sedative blend for you.

Now, Takado… Takado is basically Kaga from Her Love in the Force as a doctor. Sadist, reputation as a murderer, relies on his intuition, has a violent tendency with MC, misunderstood but doesn’t care. His version of Kaga’s Iron Claw is hitting you on the back of the head, usually with a file. I really thought he was going to be an oresama type but he’s more of the rogue sadist type. I thought he was not that interesting until I finally got to chapter 17. Naturally he’s ~damaged~ lmao. But actually I enjoyed learning about his backstory. I expected him to be so bonesaw-happy because he hadn’t acted quickly enough in the past and it led to someone’s death that could have been prevented if he’d just taken their limb. The truth is actually quite a bit more complicated than that, so I did like that it wasn’t predictable. I won’t spoil his backstory but it was definitely an interesting take on the doctor-patient relationship and worked well to help Dr. MC overcome her naïveté. I will say that I feel like the number of amputations actually increased throughout the route lmao.

Speaking of HLITF, the route definitely took on an action spin that I wasn’t expecting. I was surprised that Romance MD is categorised in the Action section in Love 365 but I think the story ended up going in a direction that I’d expect from HLITF or MSB (or Metro PD? I haven’t played that though so idk) and it was quite thrilling and surprisingly dramatic. Also, as per usual, the gap moe is real with Takado. Voltage loves employing gap moe with their characters, but especially the oresama and stoic types.

Additional note: Something I really hate about Love Choice is that a lot of the time the LI backstory is hidden in a heart scene and you can only find out the truth if you pay for it. However, the route reverts back to the main text so it seems like you (MC) know what’s happened even if you (the player) don’t.

The dynamic between Takado and Dr. MC actually ends up being quite fun even though sometimes I think Dr. MC is just being disrespectful. They bicker like an old married couple. It’s like what Kaga and MC would be like if she ever dared to speak up against him lol. Takado is like Kaga in that he expresses his love more through actions. Honestly I wouldn’t be able to pinpoint the moment he started to fall for Dr. MC even if you had a syringe of poison to my jugular. You basically only find out that he treats you differently because the other doctors have a grand old time teasing you about it. That being said, there are some nice scenes where you can spot Takado treating you specially if you squint a little. It’s fine that it’s not obvious; I think it would be out of character if he just confessed his feelings lol. Personally, I believe this is a marketing trick to get you to buy Takado PoV when it comes out.

The length of the stories (30 chapters) and the pacing did remind me of old school Voltage games which I liked. It was long enough to develop Takado, his backstory and have a plot with sufficient plot points. The length also gave the blooming relationship between Takado and Dr. MC enough time to mature without feeling too rushed. While I think this improves the story quality, it also really seems like a moneymaking ploy. That being said, at least they didn’t split the story up into two parts like HLITF 🙃.

I reread my old route reviews to remind myself how to review and I said that Goto’s route in My Sweet Bodyguard was not worth the £2.49 I spent on it. I can’t believe I only had to spend £2.49!! Regular routes in Love 365 are 400 coins which equates to £3.99 and I easily spent around £15+ on all the hearts needed for this lengthy LC route 😭. Obviously it would be even costlier if you needed to buy passes if you wanted to unlock chapters early. I didn’t keep track of how many hearts in total I spent but this ameblog says that you need 207 hearts to get all the heart scenes which translates to about £21 if you start with 0 hearts, which is honestly ridiculous. The same money could be spent on FIVE main routes (or other 400 coin stories). Or FOUR full bundles (MS, epilogue, sequel, sequel epilogue) from Seduced in the Sleepless City (i.e. sixteen stories). Or THREE full bundles from Pirates in Love. Or basically every available route for Subaru, Goto, Ishigami or Kurosawa in MSB.

So while you do get quite a lot of content, it is ridiculously expensive if you wanted Super Happy Ending. Don’t skip the heart scene in chapter 28 if you don’t want to miss a kiss scene. Chapter 7 “Apologize to Takado” doesn’t offer too much I believe. Chapter 22 “Ask for details” and 26 “Explain” options also don’t add too much imo. There are a total of 30 points available, so you can skip 5 points worth of heart scenes if you want SHE but don’t want to spend all those hearts.

You may like this route if you like rogue characters like Kaga and Shin from Pirates in Love. If you are really interested and are willing to pay, I suggest playing before 12/08 (12 August) to get the collector’s edition so at least it won’t feel like a waste of money. I really wish Voltage would get rid of Love Choice and just let us buy routes, but they likely never will because they probably earn so much more with LC compared to regular routes. The normal ending is good enough honestly, he actually confesses in NE and not in SHE, but in SHE you get a kiss scene and CG. I think ultimately it would be more worth saving up your hearts for another LI like Kyogoku lol... or Kasumi (but not my future husband Ekuni because I can already tell that I want him all for myself).

I forgot to make note of how many hearts each heart scene costs before I spent the hearts unfortunately so I’m just taking the word of the blogger who says it costs 207 in total. I know there quite a few options that require ~20 hearts.

ETA: I went through my heart spending history and found the prices of each heart scene

Walkthrough and CGs below:

25 points to Super Happy Ending

Ch 1

Observe Help Takado (Love Meter +1/CG) 5 hearts

Ch 2

Wait till later. Flip back the covers.

Ch 3

Missy Takado

Ch 4

“This isn’t a conversation.” “You’re missing the point.”

Ch 5

Ignore him. “It’s not every little thing.’”

Ch 6

Apologize Offer an excuse.

Ch 7

Don’t apologize to Takado. Apologize to Takado (Love Meter +2) 8 hearts

Ch 8

“Teach me!” “What’s got you in a snit?”

Ch 9

“I’m not ready to die!” “I value my time, you know!” (pick this one to see Kasumi being funny)

Ch 10

Stick a hand on the wall. Lean on Takado (Love Meter +1) 10 hearts

Ch 11

A scalpel. An aspirator (Love Meter +3) 13 hearts

Ch 12

Tail him. Chase him and shout

Ch 13

Ask Takado. Ask Kasumi.

Ch 14

Don’t ask. “I want to know.” (Love Meter +1) (pick this one if you want to hear about Takado’s backstory. If you select “Don’t ask” the first time, they will ask you again if you want to know and it costs 15 hearts)

Ch 15

Ask about the Pen. Ask about Takado. (Love Meter +1) 8 hearts

Ch 16

My duty as a doctor compelled me. I was worried about him. (Love Meter +2) 10 hearts

Ch 17

Avoid his potential wrath. Ask. (Love Meter +3) (pick this one to hear Takado’s full backstory) 15 hearts

Ch 18

Go back to sleep. Carefully sit up (Love Meter +1/CG) 13 hearts

Ch 19

Stay silent, like Takado Defend Takado

Ch 20

Stay out of it Insist on examining the woman (Love Meter +2) 10 hearts

Ch 21

“And then they’d kiss.” “And it’d get all tragic.”

Ch 22

Ignore him Ask for details (Love Meter +1) 10 hearts

Ch 23

Give up for now Talk to Takado again (Love Meter +3) 20 hearts (fml)

Ch 24

“I’m off.” “Dr. Takado…”

Ch 25

Don’t go. Follow Takado.

Ch 26

Feel sorry for him.14 hearts Explain. (Love Meter +2)

Ch 27

“No need.” “Tell me, then.” (Love Meter +1/CG) 15 hearts

Ch 28

Get some sleep. Stay with Takado (Love Meter +3) (kiss scene) 19 hearts

Ch 29

Call Dr. Kasumi. Don’t call him yet. (Love Meter +3) (if you choose to call Kasumi, you get a second chance to not call him which costs 22 hearts fml. If you don’t call him, you get quite a cute scene with the iCU team)

#romance md #romance md: always on call #rmdaoc #munechika takado #voltage inc #otome blog #review #otome game #voltage otome #otome romance #walkthrough #otome walkthrough #love 365 #love choice #voltage

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ajedisith · 4 years

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Kylo Ren and Tender Masculinity

I was introduced to the term “tender masculinity” while discussing Little Women’s Friedrich Bhaer with @fairychamber. She has a lot of insight into the subject as well as gender fluidity. Both are interesting interconnected subjects. Friedrich is an important example of a secure, intelligent character who also shows compassion, vulnerability, and gender fluidity.

(GIF by reylotilldeath)

The depiction of traditional masculinity in popular culture primarily emphasizes aggression and boundless strength. On the other hand, tender masculinity emphasizes a new kind of perspective on masculinity in which male characters: express their emotions in healthy ways, are self-aware, respect boundaries, show vulnerability, are comfortable with learning from failure, and value non-romantic intimacy with others. While Star Wars’ Kylo Ren sometimes expresses his anger in aggressive ways, he has moments of genuine vulnerability, self-awareness, and the potential for emotional growth, as he develops an intimate, spiritual connection with another Force user. Kylo is passionate and emotional with slivers of compassion hidden beneath the broken outer layer. He does not completely embody tenderly masculine traits, but there are significant moments that illustrate a character who could eventually come to internalize many aspects of the trope. They key is his growth (in The Rise of Skywalker and beyond) in the way that he confronts his anger, whether or not he learns from his past mistakes, if he applies the lessons learned in healthy, non-aggressive ways, and how he treats Rey, regardless of whether or not there is romantic subtext in their interactions (which, for the record, I believe there will be).

In The Force Awakens, we are introduced to a character whose inner turmoil leads to moments of tender emotional expression and hints of vulnerability with the heroine. When Kylo and Rey meet in the forest for the first time, he initially expresses a form of traditional masculinity that we’ve come to expect in pop culture media. He threatens Rey with his unstable, menacing red saber while he exerts dominance over her with his tall, domineering presence behind her. The masked facade adds to the dominating aura, devoid of intimacy or compassion. The traditional approach is subverted in their next scene together, the infamous interrogation scene. There we see a curious, patient Kylo gazing at a sleeping, peaceful Rey where instead we could have seen an angry, impatient man forcing a vulnerable woman awake to violently coerce what he needs. Furthermore, when Rey calls Kylo a “creature in a mask,” he simply responds by taking off the mask. He lets his guard down and shows vulnerability where there doesn’t need to be. He wants to be as strong as Darth Vader, and that persona can only truly be achieved when no one knows the real Kylo. But, instead he takes off his protective shield against the world, his one piece of armor that allows him to show his masculine, violent self to the world without retribution. In this moment, he risks criticism and more importantly rejection.

Han and Kylo’s scene on the Starkiller bridge reveals an emotional, tense dynamic between father and son. Han warns his son that once once Snoke “gets what he wants, he’ll crush [Kylo].” The camera pans to a pained, teary-eyed Kylo, who knows this is true. The zoomed in image of Kylo illustrates a sad, emotional character. Traditional masculinity would elucidate a very different picture of such a character, one in which the stoic expression on his face would mask the turmoil within; we, the audience, would likely understand that, but the character would intentionally attempt to hide that inner vulnerable part of his identity for the screen. Kylo admits that he is “being torn apart” and “[wants] to be free of [the] pain,” but he doesn’t know if he has the strength to do it. “Will you help me?,” he asks of Han. Kylo is deeply conflicted about what he perceives he must do and what he wants to do. He realizes (and admits) the state of his true inner feelings; instead of pushing the undesirable feelings away, he asks for help from his father. This moment depicts tender masculinity for the way in which it highlights Kylo’s self-awareness about his feelings and allows the character to seek help from a male figure, instead of brushing off his feelings and impulsively lashing out. We as an audience don’t have Kylo’s complete backstory or motivations to make an opinion about whether or not he is sincere. But we do know that Kylo genuinely believes himself to right, as Adam Driver has said many times before. The aftermath of Han’s fall reveals a shocked, speechless, and very vulnerable “bad guy.” He is alone and unguarded, standing in the middle of the bridge; he isn’t even awakened from his trance by Chewbacca’s blaster shot. His vulnerability is raw, visible, and on full display.

Rey and Kylo’s snowy duel at the end of The Force Awakens depicts an emotionally and physically wounded “villain.” An interesting aspect of this duel is how he reacts when Rey successfully yields Anakin’s lightsaber. His wide-eyed, open stance illustrates intrigue, curiosity, and genuine surprise at Rey’s abilities. Traditionally, we would expect to see such a character threatened by this unknown girl and eager to quickly be rid of her. Much of this intrigue is due to the set-up of these two characters as central, dual protagonists, but the scene further highlights Kylo’s vulnerability. Kylo desperately tells Rey, “You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force!” as he simultaneously has the upper hand in pushing her off the falling cliff and winning the duel. He has every advantage in this situation, not to mention that their surroundings are literally falling around them. Instead he chooses to offer help, to risk her retaliation during his moment of weakness. In a way, Kylo reveals a part of himself in this scene. He reveals that he is willing to risk quite a bit to seek companionship with the other sole Force user in the galaxy.

Kylo’s desires, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses are brought to light in The Force Awakens. These foundational traits inspire growth, self-awareness, and emotional vulnerability in The Last Jedi.

The Last Jedi continues to highlight Kylo Ren’s more vulnerable traits; his mind wants so desperately to steer in a direction his heart cannot fully internalize. For example, there’s a few scenes of such growth for the character. During one of Rey and Kylo’s force bonds, Kylo lays out the cold, hard truth to Rey -- she can’t stop needing her parents, that she constantly looks for them in other people like Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. He harshly tells her that it’s her greatest weakness. He then imparts words of wisdom: “Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.” Kylo shares his own strategy on moving forward, but we know he is very broken inside because of it. Furthermore, in a later scene, Rey regrettably tells him that she didn’t find answers about her parents in the dark abyss on Ahch-To. She tells him that she’s never felt so alone. Kylo is then shown looking disheveled and teary-eyed. He softly says, “You’re not alone.” These scenes side-by-side illustrate development in regards to Kylo’s approach to loneliness, isolation, and companionship. In the former scene, Kylo may be intrigued by the girl, but he is also quite impartial, stoic, and assertive. The latter scene highlights his compassion, where he was impatient and cold before, he is now patient as he listens to her turmoil and empathetic of her desire for belonging. The two scenes together also show Kylo’s growing self-awareness because his empathy for Rey’s isolation stems from his own loneliness and lack of self-identity.

One of Rey and Kylo’s initial force bond scenes occurs when she is enjoying the rain on Ahch-To. Rey is inconsolable when Kylo appears through the bond. Although Kylo is curious about whether or not she knows about the Temple incident, he doesn’t hound her with questions. He does, however, react to her calling him a “monster” by irritably acknowledging it. The fact that he concedes by simply replying, “Yes, I am” with gritted teeth and an intense look indicates that there is a tinge of regret, as if he wishes that wasn’t what she thought of him. The scene is important for what it shows about Kylo’s notion of ‘boundaries’ coupled with his genuine curiosity about what Rey has learned about the night the Temple burned. On the one hand, he tries to influence her into telling her version of events, but “that look in [her] eyes, from the forest,” the look of hatred towards the monster, hinders his resolve. He figuratively backs into the dark corner, where he is the monster in her eyes and her anger reigns supreme to his discomfort. He values her opinion, but also respects her boundaries; she is not ready to talk of Temple burnings when her anger at the “monster” dominates all other emotions.

Moreover, another scene that emphasizes Kylo Ren’s tender masculinity is the scene after the throne room duel. Kylo again relays his thoughts about letting go of the past, albeit in a softer, more self-aware way. He tries to articulate what he means by letting the past die, which to him means moving forward without the shadows of Snoke, Skywalker, the Jedi, the Sith, or the Rebels. While Kylo’s proposal of, “You’re nothing, but not to me,” is ill-conceived and not at all helpful to his cause, his barely audible, soft whisper of “please” is where the emotional vulnerability comes into play. With that single word, Kylo reveals himself as someone seeking a belonging and companionship -- someone who is looking for something more than wars of Galactic Empires versus Resistance fighters or Jedi masters versus Sith lords. The soft, yet desperate way in which he says that word emphasizes his pain, with a tinge of hope that she may come to understand him.

There are more instances of Kylo’s unique tender masculinity sprinkled throughout The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi. A few more examples:

When Kylo tells Snoke, “He means nothing to me,” (regarding his father) the camera zooms in on a masked Ren, with an emotional tint in his voice and a slight tilt of the head, as if he is also trying to convince himself of this. It’s shows subtle vulnerability that his father still means more to him than he wants to accept. Even Snoke doesn’t believe him and threateningly says, “We shall see.”

Rey says, “You’re afraid that you’ll never be as strong as Darth Vader.” Kylo then immediately stops their force connection and looks hurt, surprised, and confused. He could have easily hurt Rey for revealing this truth, he could have done something drastic and violent to her, but he simply stands there shellshocked at her discovery. His response illustrates awareness about his fears and desires.

Kylo speaks to Darth Vader: “I feel it again. The pull to the light. Supreme Leader senses it. Show me again the power of the darkness.” Kylo has a motive that perhaps hasn’t been fully revealed yet in the trilogy, but this scene illustrates his fear of being pulled to the light for whatever reason. He addresses this fear not necessarily by going out and murdering more people, or hunting down his enemies and slaughtering them one by one, but by addressing the one Force user whom he believes would have an answer for him. He seeks insight and advice.

The Rise of Skywalker will be interesting for what it shows us about how Kylo chooses to utilize his masculine energy. At the end of The Last Jedi, Kylo fails to: (1) convince Rey to join him in ruling the galaxy together, (2) find Luke Skywalker, and (3) fully embrace the dark side even after killing his father and master. The next movie will show us how he learns from these failures -- does he use violence to lash out against people who’ve wronged him or does he even retaliate at all? Episode VIII also leaves Kylo in a very vulnerable position in terms of his dynamic with Rey. He lays a lot on the line for that relationship to come into fruition. The next question for that aspect of the story is how does Kylo confront and treat Rey for the better part of Episode IX? Does he impart more words of wisdom or offerings of help, or does he retaliate in full force? Does he show compassion for Rey, regardless of whether or not their dynamic is romantic, or does the compassion only show itself when the relationship becomes more romantic? This is important for what it reveals about how Kylo values his relationships with female characters.

I personally have high hopes for Kylo in the final movie of the saga. I am optimistic that his growth as a character that embodies compassion, vulnerability, emotion, and tenderness will come full circle in The Rise of Skywalker.

But we shall see for ourselves in a few weeks.

#star wars #the force awakens #the last jedi #the rise of skywalker #tfa #tlj #tros #kylo ren #rey x kylo ren #reylo #writing #masculinity #adam driver #byronic hero #ben solo #rey #episode ix

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powerstrangerdacre · 5 years

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Reputation

Summary: “I… I can’t. You’re… wild.” Is all he could say.

“So… if I wasn’t wild, if I fit the mold of what you think the perfect woman would be for you, then it would be different?”

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Warning: alcohol consumption, swearing, Luke being an astronomical asshole, angst with a fluffly ending

Word Count: 7000+

AN: Ello! I’m back!! I know I’ve been gone for so long (I’m sowwy), but I’ve had this in my ‘unedited’ pile for so long and I just couldn’t wait to post it. (It’s still unedited.. so... sorry.)

Thanks so much @theoneanna for pre-reading this for me and seeing if it made any sense haha! Love ya girly!

The moment she opened the door she was met with silence. The kind of silence that made her ears ring, her stomach drop and her head hurt. Though if she thought about it better, the pounding headache that she was experiencing might’ve been the result of one too many champagne glasses. Her bare feet skipped over the cold marble flooring, her expensive Louboutins forgotten by the door. Her dress slipped off her shoulder with one push, falling into a heap on the floor of her overly large kitchen. Soft locks of hair slowly fell on her shoulders as she pulled the last pin from her up-do. She searched the fridge for something that could soothe the harsh burning feeling that moved up and down her throat. Definitely too much champagne.

She made her way to her bedroom, where her king-sized bed waited for her. Her shoulders slumped as she opened the door to see the huge room bathed in soft light from the one lamp that she always kept on. She hated the dark, but she loved being alone. She told herself that it was times like these that made everything worth it. That those short moments where she was alone, were what made all the drama and gossip that came with being ‘Y/N Y/L/N’ worth it.

She threw herself onto the silk covers, relishing in the cold feeling. Sleep soon overtook her.

Her house smelled of money. Large and fancy, everything a normal person would ever dream of. It had everything she needed and more, and yet it somehow made her feel empty, because as much as she told herself that she liked being alone, the moment her eyes opened the next morning, she felt as though the walls were way too big, way too white. The bed was soft and warm where she laid, but shivers overtook her as soon as she moved an inch. Cold. Her room was pretty much empty, except for her bed and her night-stand. It felt foreign. It didn’t feel like her room, even though she knew she had bought the house with her own hard-earned money.

She felt just like her bed, cold and somehow lonely. She hated feeling lonely.

The only thing that made her feel at home was the picture that she still kept close to her, hidden under her pillow. It was old and faded, but it was the thing she held dearest. The only thing that she wouldn’t give up even if all hell broke loose or the sky fell down. She can see it before her eyes, the small smile on his face, the huge grin on hers, the reds and oranges as the sun set behind them. As soon as she pulls it out, she notices the wrinkles and the little ripped corner on the once glossy piece of paper. The reds and oranges aren’t as visible as they used to be. His eyes aren’t as blue as she remembers, but his smile is just as it was imprinted in her memories. Small and bashful, the corners of his lips pushing his cheeks up and making the skin next to his eyes wrinkle. His face looks younger, but not any less handsome than she knows it did last night.

She never imagined seeing him at one of those parties, the ones where all the so-called ‘youngsters’ and ‘trouble-makers’ were invited to. She would’ve never imagined that he would’ve showed up, even if he had been invited, but she could only assume that that one blond friend had dragged him to the celebration.

Of course, those kinds of junctions were her thing. She just loved the loud music and the smell of the alcohol. She just loved the feeling of letting go and not worrying. Who cared about the articles that would most likely pop up the next day? ‘Tom would.’ her mind told her.

She didn’t know how they had drifted so far apart. How they had become so different from each-other when they were literally two peas in a pod only years earlier.

They had met during college, through mutual friends, and they instantly clicked. For a while it was as if nothing could break them apart. They were friends, best friends even, always coming to each-other with joy and sorrow alike. For a while, she thought that he would never leave her. For a while, she imagined herself as an old lady on the porch of a small cottage with him by her side. And for a while, everything seemed to be alright.

They grew closer, long hugs becoming cuddles in the middle of the night while they whispered to each-other. The smiles they shared turned into small kisses at the top of her head, and she relished in the feeling of his lips on her hair. She loved the way his arms felt around her waist. She always felt warm and loved while he was around. So she never bothered to even wonder about what kind of relationship they had formed. It surely didn’t feel like they were friends, but she was sure that they weren’t exactly lovers.

She was young. She was stupid. She expected too much from someone who could give too little.

Tom had always had commitment issues. He was late to everywhere and everything. He would choose one book to read, only to switch to the next in less than a second. He would even have problems picking something to eat. How Y/N had been so blind to it for so long, she didn’t know. But she slowly figured it out when she started seeing him with another girl every week. Of course, it broke her heart to know that her feelings were only one-sided, and her mind and heart kicked into ‘self-preserve’ mode.

She couldn’t exactly pin-point the moment when they stopped talking to each-other, but if she were to try and put some kind of sense as to why, she would say that that’s when it started. She would try and see him less and less, at one point even walking away when she saw Tom on campus. Their cuddles turned into hugs, the kisses on her head to smiles. Their so-called relationship turned to friendship, and then to nothing.

Their lives took different turns as soon as they both graduated.

She loved and hated that picture of them, snuggled so close together with his head atop hers. It showed weakness, and weakness was something that she wouldn’t allow herself to feel anymore. Weakness had no place in her line of work, because if you showed even the least bit of it, the media would feed into it and cause a frenzy. And while she didn’t mind being seen as a ‘wild-child’, she did not like it when people thought she was weak.

So she kept her memories locked inside her mind and heart, just like that picture that was hidden behind the closed doors of her so-called home.

The moment Tom laid his eyes on her, he couldn’t believe it. The party Chris had dragged him to was in full swing, music blaring through the dark room and cigarette smoke wafting through the air. And there she stood, in the middle of it all, champagne glass held high as she whooped with the other half-drunk actors and actresses. He hadn’t seen her in ages, but she looked exactly how he remembered, young and full of life, nothing like his closed-off, tired self.

He hated himself for it, but he couldn’t exactly pin-point the moment he forgot about her. How he could’ve forgotten that warm smile and those kind eyes was beyond him, but he somehow managed to bury the memory of her far in the back of his mind.

His eyes moved over her and he could feel himself growing more and more disgusted with himself for some reason. He didn’t know why, but his stomach churned and turned as he watched her dance with one of her friends. He thought the guy was too close to her. He thought she was way too smiley and happy as she turned around to snake her hands around that assholes neck. He thought he would be a more appropriate dance partner for someone like Y/N.

“Tom? Hiddles!” Chris’s voice pulled Tom from his thoughts as his head whipped into his co-stars direction.

“Sorry. What did you say?” Tom asked, sipping on his glass that had been placed in front of him while he was too busy staring at her.

“It’s alright.” Chris chuckled. “What’s gotten you so entranced?” Tom’s eyes moved in Y/N’s direction unwillingly, allowing Chris to follow his gaze and land on the drunk woman. Chris’s eyes widened with recognition, before turning to look at his friend like he had just grown another head. Chris knew that Tom had a thing for girls that were known to mean trouble, but this was way over his head.

“Really? Y/N?” Chris asked, shaking his head. The girl had a reputation to her, and it wasn’t a good one. No, Y/N wasn’t the best for anyone’s image, and Chris knew that Tom had an image to upkeep.

“It’s nothing,” Tom said, taking another gulp from his glass. Chris sure hoped it was nothing, but he knew Tom way too well to believe him. He knew that look, and it didn’t mean anything good.

Tom thought there would be no way to meet her again. They had managed to stay out of each-others way for so long, why would now be any different?

He opened the door to his new home, headphones in his ears blasting whatever song came next on his Spotify playlist. He stretched his legs and arms before pushing off the ground and slowly building up his pace into a somewhat slow jog.

His eyes were unfocused, his mind racing with thoughts of her. She didn’t seem to notice him. Maybe she had forgotten all about him. Maybe she was as busy if not busier than him, so who could blame her for not remembering an old friend?

It was as if his body had a mind of its own, suddenly scoffing at the thought he planted in his head. An old friend. Yeah right. She hates your guts and you know it.

He could remember it clearly, the way she looked whenever he would show up on campus with a new girl. He knew he was breaking her heart. He knew her feelings, and he knew his feelings, but didn’t do anything about it. She was too wild for him, even back then. He was so sure that there was no way in hell that whatever she wanted to start would end well. So he did what he did best and ended it before it even started.

His mind raced on and on, and soon he was tripping and on his way to have a not-so-comfortable meeting with the ground. A hand grasped his and he was pulled in the other direction, only to have the other person fall on their ass with an ‘Oomph’.

“God, I’m so sorry! Are you alright?” Tom asked, only to be met with a pair of Y/E/C eyes.

Y/N and Tom stayed in that position, him crouching over her.

Her eyes studied his face. His eyes as wide as saucers, mouth dropped open in a small ‘o’. She couldn’t stop the giggle that fell from her lips. “Are you going to help me stand, or…?”

His face unfroze at the sound of her voice. It seemed so long since he last heard it, but it still made him feel exhilarated. His lips pulled into a smile and he offered her his hand, pulling her on her feet easily. She hissed as her left foot made contact with the floor, and worry was once again etched on his features.

“Are you okay? Should I take you to the hospital? Wait… I’ll call an ambulance.” One hand was holding her, his other already in his pocket, fishing for his phone when she once again giggled.

“Ever the worrisome one, huh Hiddleston?” Y/N shook her head, remembering all the times he had nursed her back to health after a night of college partying.

His eyes fell back on her figure, and he couldn’t help but scoff. “One of us has to be, Y/L/N,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his every word.

They both fell silent. Y/N had always imagined what she would say to him when and if they would ever meet again. But now all of those speeches were forgotten - words caught in her throat, unwilling to make their way past her lips. She just watched Tom, he watched her and all of a sudden they both fell into a chuckle. Then that chuckle turned to laughter and it all seemed to fall back to when they were in college. They both felt like those two fools who didn’t know anything about anything and just had each-other as a back-up.

“You want to go get tea?” he asked.

Her lips pulled into a tight line. Tea with none other than Tom Hiddleston meant more publicity: good for her, bad for him. And as much as she wanted to say yes, she couldn’t. “I don’t think that’s a great idea…”

Y/N expected him to nod, to understand where she was coming from – that she wasn’t good company. But Tom only watched as her eyes fell to the ground. He shook his head. “Let’s go,” he said, startling her into walking with him.

And they walked and talked about all the time they had lost. Tom could see her clearer now, clearer than how he had seen her last night. Her eyes sparkled in the morning light, just like he remembered, but they seemed tired. Tired and somehow lost. He remembers how she used to look at him, with love and adoration. Now she seemed to want to look anywhere but at him. Her eyes wandered through the café, lingering on everything and everyone but him. It annoyed him to no ends, but he knew that he was to blame.

“So I heard about the Loki series. Congratulations.” She smiled as she dared a look at him, her eyes as careful as the sip she took from her steaming cup of tea.

“Thank you, but honestly it’s nothing compared to you. I heard they’re planning another sequel to your movie,” he grinned, “How many has it been now? Three? Four?”

“Actually,” she stopped for a second, sighing tiredly, “I won’t be acting in this one.”

His eyes widened, mind unable to comprehend why she would let such an opportunity go. “I understand if you don’t want to tell me, but why not?”

She shook her head. “I just… felt trapped in that role. I’ve been wanting to try something else and this movie wouldn’t allow for that. I would be playing the same scared heroine waiting for her man to come and save her, and I…” I don’t want to wait for someone to come a swoop me off my feet. “I got bored.”

“Oh…” Tom answered, shaking his head and chuckling slightly.

“What?” she asked.

“It’s just, that’s how you’ve always been. Always so strong and… how do I put it… decided?” He winced at how wrong that sounded.

“You mean hot-headed?” She smirked.

Tom bit his lip, nodding slightly in understanding. Hot-headed suited her. Always walking head first into a situation and worrying about the consequences later. She simply didn’t care about the future, always choosing to live in the present and deal with trouble wherever it came from. “Yeah… hot-headed.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, Mr. I’m-too-careful-for-my-own-good.”

“Hey!”

“What?! It’s the truth!” She shrugged.

“Yeah…”

Thick silence enveloped them, making her feel awfully awkward as she stared down at her lap. Maybe it wasn’t her place anymore to make those jokes. Maybe she had gone one step too far, or one step too little. It felt like they were in college while they were talking, just two friends catching up and messing around, but maybe it wasn’t like that anymore. It was clear that they weren’t as comfortable with each-other as they used to be.

Tom didn’t know what to think or what to say. She was right there. She sat in front of him and he simply couldn’t find the words. Should he be sorry for what happened during college? Should he regret pushing her away? He knew he shouldn’t, it had been the right thing do to. Right?

After a week, Tom wasn’t so sure of himself anymore. He wasn’t sure about anything he did anymore. Everything seemed so fake and forced. He slowly felt like he was being, simply put, a phony.

Except when he was around her.

They both knew that it was a bit awkward when they were both in the same room, but it slowly dissipated. He didn’t have to think about what would be the proper thing to say or do when she was around, because she knew him. He knew she knew him, the real him that wasn’t always a polite gentleman. She knew the guy that liked to mess around. The guy who wasn’t always perfect. The guy who wasn’t a “celebrity”. And he knew the girl that she used to be, and still was, but as they met more and more often, she seemed to get more and more lively. She seemed to care even less about reputation and more about the guy who was her friend.

What Tom didn’t expect was how fast his heart was beating every time she hugged or just simply touched him. He didn’t expect to see her with the same eyes that his college self used to. It was like all he had worked so hard to ignore for so long just simply rushed back with a touch of her fingers and a look in his eyes.

He didn’t expect that to happen. And he sure as hell hadn’t planned for it, but now that dreaded feeling was there and he couldn’t get a grip on himself.

“Have you seen this?” Luke entered Tom’s office, throwing a magazine in front of him with a huff.

“It’s good to see you too, Luke,” Tom joked with a light chuckle, not even glancing at what he knew to be another scandal, caused most likely by his late-night drive to a bar with Y/N and Chris.

“Yeah, yeah… Good to see you yada, yada… Now, have you seen this?” Luke placed both hands on Tom’s desk, his face something between a scowl and a look of disappointment.

Tom glanced down and sure as hell, there it was in big bold letters: ‘Eligible bachelor Tom Hiddleston not as eligible as we might have thought?’ A picture of him and Y/N doing shots by the bar was plastered all over the front page. “Yeah, I’ve seen it. What’s wrong with it?” Tom asked.

“What’s wrong with it?!” Luke yelped, trying to control his anger, “Tom, they’re saying that you have an alcohol problem! They’re saying that you’re dating that… that mess, Y/N!” Tom glared up at Luke from where he was still seated, not having it when his publicist talked bad about his friend. But Luke wasn’t having it. “Do you have any idea what she could do to your reputation? She could ruin you in a matter of seconds!” Luke snapped his fingers, as if that would make everything clearer in Tom’s mind. “Like that.” Snap. “And your career and fans would be gone.”

Now, that sentence scared Tom, but not in the way that Luke had meant it. He wasn’t scared of losing acting jobs, because to him those jobs were just that, jobs. He had lost his passion for acting long ago and was doing it because… Why was he still doing it? He didn’t know. Y/N wouldn’t even bother doing something if she wasn’t passionate about it anymore. He shook his head.

Tom wasn’t scared of losing his fans either, because he knew that they were the strongest and most passionate ones out there. Maybe that’s why he was still doing this, for the fans. He was passionate about them, not wanting to disappoint or fail them. Y/N would care about that. He nodded.

Luke watched baffled as Tom was having a discussion with himself, it was clear that the man was slowly going crazy over this girl. “Look, you know I usually don’t care much about who your newest… acquisition is, as long as you keep it private,” Luke sighed, “But this,” he pointed to the magazine laid in front of Tom, “this is not good for you Tom.”

Tom stood up, already annoyed to no ends by the way Luke spoke of him. His newest acquisition? Y/N was not something that he could just… acquire, as much as he wished he could. He had burned that bridge long ago. “Okay Luke, I get it.” Tom sighed.

“No, Tom. You don’t! She’s always seen drunk! She yells at the paparazzi!” Luke said, exasperated. “She might look good, but she doesn’t care about her image.”

That’s exactly why I like her.

“She’s always seen with a new guy! Every damn week! She’s changing you Tom, and it’s not for the better!” Luke finished his monologue, chest heaving and breathing loud. He watched as Tom’s eyes slowly lifted from the magazine, the heartbreak as clear in his eyes as the color of his irises.

“Ok, Luke… I get it. She’s fucked up. She’s emotionally deranged. She’s a whore,” Tom said, eyes angry. “I’ll take care of this, but get out of here before I throw you out,” he snarled.

Luke walked out the door with a sigh, closing it, not expecting what was behind it. She stood there, eyes wild and angry. Y/N shook her head as he scoffed at her, passing by as she simply stuck a foot out, tripping him. Luke fell flat on his stomach, his hands not reacting quickly enough as his nose hit the ground. She knew it was childish. She knew it was just another scandal waiting to happen. She didn’t care.

“You fucking manipulative son of a bitch,” she snarled, shaking her head and walking away from the whole ordeal. Walking away from the building that she now knew as well as the back of her hand. Walking away from two assholes that obviously hit it off just a little too well.

Fucking jackass.

The moment she opened the door she was met with silence. The kind of silence that made her ears ring, her stomach drop and her head hurt. Though if she thought about it better, the pounding headache that she was experiencing might’ve been the result of one too many tears. Her bare feet skipped over the cold marble flooring, her Nikes forgotten by the door. His jacket slipped off her shoulders with one push, falling into a heap on the floor of her overly large kitchen. Soft locks of hair slowly fell on her face as she braced the marble countertop, eyes looking directly to her feet. Her throat itched with the dryness brought by another ridiculously heart-broken cry. She could see the small droplets of water that had made their way from her eyes to the floor. Definitely too many tears.

She made her way to door, a knock pulling her out of her misery, only to be pulled right back in as she saw who was the one knocking.

“What do you want, Hiddleston?” Y/N asked, looking anywhere but at him.

Tom watched as she rubbed the tears away from her face, his face falling instead. “Love, what happened?” He had come here with the decision of telling her that they couldn’t meet anymore, but that was all thrown out of the window as worry for the girl fogged his mind. He hadn’t seen her cry since college.

She looked up at him, lower lip trembling and eyes filling with tears once again. “You wanna know what’s wrong?” she asked and he nodded. “I fucking trusted you! I trusted you to believe in who I am and to not judge me like so many others! I trusted you to not talk behind my back!” She took a deep breath, her chest feeling as though it was being ripped apart. “You wanna know what’s wrong?” Her voice was but a whisper. “I’m fucked up. I’m emotionally deranged. And apparently a whore!”

Tom’s eyes widened. He was the reason she looked so broken. He was, once again the reason why she cried. “I… I…” He had no excuse. He had said all those things. He couldn’t blame it on Luke, it was his mouth that those words had come out of.

“You what, Tom? You’re sorry? You didn’t seem to be sorry back there!” She sniffled, walking backwards as he stepped in and closed the door. “Ever the careful one, huh Hiddleston? Are you scared that they’re gonna see me make a scene? Are you scared that you’ll end up in tomorrow’s gossip magazine? Are you scared that your good name will be tarnished?!” Her voice got louder and louder, her mind racing. “You’re such a fake! Your image is fake! The way you act towards me is fake! Is there anything even remotely true about you anymore?” She sighed. “And to think that I fucking fell for it again. I can’t fucking believe that I’m reliving college right now.”

Tom just stood and took it all in. All her anger and her spiteful words, they hurt, but what hurt most is that she thought he was being fake when he was around her, the only time when he actually felt like himself. “You… you what?” he asked, reaching a hand out to her.

She glared at his hand angrily before slapping it away with a loud smack. “You fucking heard me! I loved you back then! And now I love a fake! God… I’m in love with a phony… I fell for it just like everybody else.” Y/N shook her head, as if not believing the words that just came out of her mouth. “This is just like last time…”

Tom watched her, expression full of surprise and anger. He couldn’t believe it. “You were the one who put space between us! You’re the one who walked away!”

“And what was I supposed to do? Huh, Tom?!” She let the tears flow freely down her face this time, not bothering to stop them. “Stay and watch my heart break as you walked around with another girl?! Did you expect me to do that?! Don’t put all the blame on me, you’re just as much to blame.”

“You… you didn’t say anything…” Tom was astounded by how she put everything out there. She would never have the courage to do that, were they still in college.

“You know… back then I thought that we… I don’t know… understood each-other. I thought you needed me as much as I needed you. I thought that maybe I meant something to you…” Her voice was void of anger, her eyes just seemed sad. “I thought that maybe you would at least try to follow me when I left… But no, of course not!” She scoffed. “As soon as I stopped putting effort towards whatever it was that we had, you stopped caring…”

Tom watched as her body shuddered with every gasp of air that she took. He had broken her. This was what he was scared of… that one of them would break the other. “Of-of course I would… I thought you didn’t care about me anymore. I thought you gave up.”

Her eyes suddenly filled with rage. “Oh I cared! Don’t fucking say I didn’t! I tried and tried but you just didn’t see me!” He couldn’t look at her anymore. It was too hard. “I thought I was stupid to just leave before I said anything about… about my feelings.” A sickeningly broken laugh fell from her lips, the sound making Tom’s skin crawl. “You were stupid,” Tom whispered. He couldn’t help but think that maybe things would’ve gone differently if she had said something back then. Maybe they wouldn’t have been in this position. Or maybe he would’ve just done what he did back then, because that was for the best, right? He didn’t know anymore. His mind was all over the place.

Y/N didn’t hear his whisper, she had no reason to question herself. “But look at me now! Feelings spoken out and still in the same position as I was seven years ago. Still stupid. Still fucking in love with an asshat that won’t even dare try because he’s too afraid.”

“I… I can’t. You’re… wild.” Is all he could say.

“So… if I wasn’t wild, if I fit the mold of what you think the perfect woman would be for you, then it would be different?”

“I… I… no. I can’t return your feelings,” Tom said, his eyes stuck counting the lines in the marble flooring.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because… it would be bad for my image.”

Her breath hitched as he simply contradicted himself. He couldn’t because she was wild, but if she were different then he still didn’t return her feeling because she was bad for his image. They were going in a loop, a broken record playing on repeat again and again and again. He wouldn’t tell her anything. He wouldn’t let her in.

“Okay… I get it. I’m wild and I’m reckless and I’m stupid,” her words caught in her throat, but she forced them out. He needed to hear this. She needed to tell him this or else she would go blaming herself again. “But at least I’m not afraid to show who I really am, at least to the people who obviously care about me! At least I’m not afraid of those fake scandals or the bullshit because whatever happens, I still know who I am! The people I care about know who I am!” she sighed, trying her best to calm herself down, “I thought you knew that too. I thought you were one of those people, Tom. But you aren’t. You’d rather believe your goddamn publicist or what those damn assholes write about me. And you know what? That’s fine by me.” Her eyes cleared and she finally saw it. He looked at her like he was broken. Just as broken as she was, but that wasn’t going to stop her. She would burn this bridge, whether he wanted to or not. “Just… remember. I’m not the one who was afraid. You were.” She stabbed her finger in his chest, looking up at him. “Leave.” Don’t go. Fight. For once, fight. She could feel the burn as he turned around and walked out of the front door. He had made his choice.

He could feel it all, the anger, the disappointment, but most of all he felt the last bridge burn. She had said all that was to be said. She didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.

He nursed the glass of whiskey in his hand, feeling foreign in the bar that had become their hang-out.

“What are you doing here?” Chris’s voice came out of nowhere, startling the half-drunk Tom to the point that he almost fell off his bar-stool.

“Nothing,” Tom said, finishing his tenth glass with a tip of his chin.

Chris noticed the bad state Tom was in, he had a feeling why it was happening.

“Where’s Y/N?” he asked.

“Gone,” Tom answered with a hiss, as though the word itself was a knife stuck in his chest.

“Why?”

“Because that’s what I wanted.”

Chris’s mouth dropped open so wide that he could’ve been mistaken for the screamer. Tom would’ve found it funny, but he wasn’t exactly in the mood for laughing.

“What?! Why?”

“She was changing me… and I…” Tom whimpered slightly at the words, “I couldn’t allow for that to happen.”

“Oh…” Chris finally took a seat next to his friend, motioning for the bartender to get him a drink. “And she just… gave up?”

“She said she loves me. She told me she was in love with me ever since college. I…” Tom shook his head, “I can’t return those feelings.”

Chris laughed. He laughed as though that was the funniest joke he had heard in years. Tom watched him, simply waiting for him to finish so he could get an explanation.

“You’re either the most idiotic guy I know, or you’re terribly blind, mate.” Tom watched Chris with a questioning gaze, eyes slightly glazed over from how much alcohol was in his system. If only Luke would see him now. “Tom, Y/N… she apparently went through a lot with you. You broke her heart once and she still tired. She’s the one girl that didn’t leave you. The only girl that tried to help you. The only girl that would never break your heart unless you asked her to… sorry mate, but you fucked everything up.”

“She changed me,” Tom stated simply.

“No… she didn’t. You were the one who let loose. You were the one who didn’t put on a face for the press. You were the one who didn’t give two shits and giggles anymore. Sure, she was around you, but you were the one who made those changes. You were the one who changed. Was it all for her?”

No. I was tired. I was tired of hiding.

“No! It was for yourself! Whenever she was around you were like a different man, and I think that that’s who the real Tom is. Not that proper, British ass that wouldn’t let anyone get too close to him.”

“I… I couldn’t tell her that…” I love her. The words just couldn’t form on his lips. “I didn’t want to hurt her. I just… it would end badly.”

“Couldn’t? Or wouldn’t, Tom?” Chris asked, taking a sip from his glass. When Tom didn’t answer, he answered for him. “It’s clear that you love the girl! She loves you! Who the hell cares about ‘if’s and ‘maybe’s? Now go do something about it! Don’t fucking mess this up a third time or I swear to God I’ll kick your ass all the way back to England.”

Tom stood up, eyes widening. Chris was right. He… He loved her. He was in fucking love with her and he just couldn’t fucking get over it. It scared him shitless but he couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to stop. He didn’t want to be scared anymore.

He shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out a hundred dollar bill, slamming it on the bar. “I have to go. Thanks, mate!” Tom yelled to Chris as he ran towards the exit. It was quiet and far away, but he was sure that he heard Chris say “Whatever man, I expect to get an invitation to the wedding.”

Y/N was sure that she hated feeling lonely, because if she felt lonely then it meant that she was weak. She hated being weak, but as the days past she wanted nothing to do with her friends or the parties they invited her to. She never thought it would be easy, but God was it hard getting over the one guy who she had managed to fall in love with, twice.

Her closed phone laid on her nightstand, the battery long dead since she hadn’t bothered charging it. She hated herself for it, but right now she loved the feeling of loneliness. Sleep soon overtook her.

Her doorbell rang, jolting her out of her light sleep. She looked at the watch, noticing it was three in the morning. With a jolt and a rapidly beating heart, she made her way to the door. She looked at the display that showed her doorstep, seeing him. Her heart and mind stopped racing, but her hand moved on its own accord, opening the door.

Tom sighed watching as she looked at him with tired eyes. Her hair was a mess and she lacked pants, but he could only think that she looked the most gorgeous he had ever seen, one of his shirts hanging loosely from her shoulders.

“Y/N, thank God,” he slurred.

“What are you doing here, Tom?” she asked. She could pick up the light scent of whiskey drifting towards her from him, her nose wrinkled in disgust. She couldn’t even think about ever drinking another drop of alcohol, since it felt like it was the reason for him not reciprocating her feelings.

“Thank God you’re okay. I was so scared.”

Y/N’s eyebrows shifted together into a small frown. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

He watched her with happy, glossy eyes. He was just happy to see her, even though her words still made his heart heavy, even in his inebriated state. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I was such an idiot. I pushed you away, thinking that it would spare us. Thinking that that way I wouldn’t lose you. Guess I was the stupid one though, since in the end I still lost you.” Once the words started running out of his mouth, he couldn’t stop. He was vomiting every last bit of his feelings, finally letting her in. “I… I love you. Fuck… I’m so in love with you that I don’t know what to do with myself.”

To say that she was taken by surprise by his words would be an understatement. She was shocked, astonished even, but happiness slowly crept its way in her heart, until “What about your “image”? Aren’t you scared that they would say that your girlfriend’s fucked up? Emotionally deranged? Wouldn’t they say that you’re dating a whore?” she asked with a hiss to the tone of her voice.

Tom squeezed his eyes together. “I’m sorry about that. I could say that Luke kind of coerced those words out of me, but I still said them. I was just… scared. I knew I had fallen for you, again, and I didn’t think you would feel the same. I guess… I was just trying to find a way to stop myself from hurting… But please believe me when I say that I never wanted to hurt you. I never meant for any of this to happen. I was an asshole, a jackass, a fucking idiot. But I love…”

Her lips caught his words as they pressed harshly against his, the kiss seven years in waiting. She didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care that he was drunk. She didn’t care about what he had said, she knew from the beginning that he didn’t mean it. She knew that he loved her just as much as she loved him.

He was caught by surprise by the force behind the kiss, lightly stumbling backwards before he steadied himself as his arms wrapped around her frame. God, this felt so right. His hands cupped her cheeks, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. She tasted like candy, mixed with the whiskey that he had drunk. There was nothing more delicious than the bitter sweetness they shared. She wrapped her hands around his shoulders, pushing herself on her toes, trying to mold herself into him. They were still on her porch, but neither of them cared. That moment was perfect, even when they pulled away and their breaths mingled.

“You’ve got bed-head,” Tom snickered.

“You’ve got whiskey-breath,” Y/N smirked.

“You’re wearing my shirt.”

“It’s laundry day.”

“You’re lying.”

“I am.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The paparazzi might’ve gotten pictures of them, both looking like literal messes. There might be a scandal the next day, but they didn’t care. They had each-other, and once again Y/N didn’t bother asking what they were, because she knew. She was his and he was hers.

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lightsandlostbells · 5 years

Text

Skam France season 3, episode 8 reaction

Not gonna lie, I kept thinking “they must taste like ham” during the love-making scene

Episode 8

Clip 1 - Morning after

Lucas wakes up, still with splotches of paint on his body. I guess he washed off some of the paint, but not that well? I have so many questions about how they got home, like did they manage to get into the locker room to take a shower before leaving the school, or did they just go home covered in paint?

Anyway, Lucas is alone and checks his phone. His father says their mom wants to go to mass with them next week, so there’s your O Helga Natt clip. I’m trying to think about the religious references in this season. They’ve definitely been carrying through with Lucas’ mom being religious; I’m not sure there has been more in the way of religious symbolism? Luke is a Biblical figure but I’m not sure there’s any connecting with Lucas’ character the way Isak was connected to Biblical Isaac through the 21:21 reference. Not that it means O Helga Natt shouldn’t happen at a church, just that I think you could potentially set the scene somewhere else that’s more in line with what symbolism there is in this season (light and dark).

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. Was he on the couch???? In the living room??? Wh- why? So they went back to Lucas’ placed and crashed, covered in paint and seemingly naked (since Lucas is shown putting on his boxers), on the sofa in his living room? At the apartment where he has three other roommates coming and going? The FUCK.

Doesn’t Eliott live by himself? I thought someone involved with the show said that. Why did they not go to his place where they can be alone, rather than going to Lucas’ where they have to crash on the fucking couch? Even if Eliott does live with his parents or whoever, presumably he has a bedroom with, you know, a door.

I guess after you fuck in public at your school when there are people around, cuddling naked together in your living room where your roommates might see is no big deal at all. Get over it, prudes.

This is one of those times when I think Skam France still sticks to the original script too much, like obviously this part is here because Isak woke up alone after Even spent the night and heard Even in the kitchen. Lucas’ living situation (aka living on his goddamn couch) doesn’t really accommodate for that without some weirdness. So they could have revised this scene a bit - either send them to Eliott’s place rather than Lucas’, or have Lucas actually get his bedroom back by now (why is he still on the couch anyway????) or just have them clothed. Or you could have something where Eliott didn’t sleep over, and Lucas wakes up on the couch smiling about the previous day, except then he hears Eliott’s voice in the kitchen. Surprise! Eliott came over early to surprise Lucas with breakfast, and Manon let him in. And it could be shown as a sign of his mania, maybe, like it’s cute but Eliott came over way too early with way too many ingredients and it’s just a little too intense, it feels off.

Anyway, Lucas hears giggling from the kitchen, and of course Eliott is cooking and talking to the roommates. He’s making a fennel and cinnamon omelette. He kisses Lucas and Mika and Manon exchange a proud look. No more interventions are necessary.

Eliott also wants to make blueberry bacon muffins and Manon is all WTF about it, because she is lucky enough to live in a country where people apparently weren’t putting bacon in every single food product for a few years.

Mika and Manon pretend they didn’t hear anything from Eliott and Lucas when they came in, but Lisa enters and is like, yes, I did hear you fucking. So they were for real fucking on the couch? I’m just imagining like, Manon wanting a glass of water last night but being unable to leave her bedroom, just waiting for the moans to stop.

Lisa tells Manon to give her room to Lucas since he has a sex life and Manon doesn’t. Cold, but accurate, and also, Manon should give her room back since it’s not hers in the first place and Lucas was clearly distraught over it in the last episode. C’mon. At least take turns.

When the roommates are gone, Lucas says he thought Eliott left this morning (or like … one minute ago), like he did with Lucille. We get this conversation with a big gap between them as Lucas talks about Eliott making out with Lucille at Chloé’s party. Eliott closes the gap and takes Lucas’ face in his hands when he says that Lucille knows him well and made him believe they had to get back together, and Lucas wasn’t ready. Eliott was afraid Lucas wouldn’t want anything serious, Lucas says he does, and Eliott says good, because he’s not going anywhere right now. They kiss.

Eliott comes across as rather self-assured here. Even seemed very vulnerable when Isak called him on the situation with Sonja, and his attitude got very weird and harsh. He wasn’t even looking Isak in the eye as he complained about her; he only looked back when he was asking Isak to understand what he meant. Part of the scene felt very, very fragile for both of them. By contrast, while Lucas here seems uncertain, Eliott seems pretty confident. Although he’s telling Lucas about something that made him uncertain at the time, in the moment he seems to have gotten over it. Either that or he’s completely burying his fears, because I don’t see a hint of doubt or defensiveness.

Also, in the original scene, there were hints that Even was manic. I guessed it from my first viewing, watching the scene in unsubtitled Norwegian, just based off Even’s energy and emotional shifts, and then with the subs we could see how he got distracted, his mind was racing a bit. I didn’t really feel like they were signaling Eliott was manic yet, other than the lines about him going to the fridge and wanting to bake everything. Eliott just seems comfortable in what’s happening. (I’m not blaming Maxence for this, I think his acting is pretty solid, honestly.)

They obviously did not do their version of the Gabrielle lip-syncing, and while I don’t mind if they choose not to, for time constraints or not wanting to copy OG or just not feeling it for the characters, I can’t help but feel a bit bereft that I did not see more of Eliott’s awkward EDM dancing.

Clip 2 - Ass = art

I am honest to God laughing that they hyped up that previous mural as the ugliest shit ever, and then Lucas and Eliott literally threw some paint over it and it’s suddenly acceptable. Oh my God. Different strokes for different folks and all, but you can still see the original goddamn mural!!! It’s not even totally covered up!!!

Plot twist: whoever originally painted that mural in like the ‘90s or whatever also did it while having sex against the wall. And the plucky artists who will paint over Lucas and Eliott’s mural in like 2034 will be doing it as part of an orgy. Why even bother having a mattress when you have a paint-splattered wall to hump against?

I think it’d be a pretty display if it it were not half-assed. It’s not even covering all of the existing mural. They should’ve whole-assed it. Much like they whole-assed everything else on Friday.

Lucas is like, sorry we didn’t go with what was planned. Was there a plan? Because it absolutely came across like the boys just showed up to paint whatever image popped into their heads.

OH MY GOD THERE WAS AN ACTUAL ASS PRINT ON THE WALL

AND THEY DON’T EVEN MAKE UP A LIE ABOUT IT

Eliott’s like, Sorry about that! And he and Lucas kiss. Oh my God, this is ridiculous. I’m happy for your love and all but I legit cringed at that part, it’s too much. I guess if I think about it like how Even said it was good the boys left when Even showed up at Isak’s house, it’s the same thing? Except that’s a lot vaguer than like, yep, we left ass prints on the wall, our butt cheeks were used as sponges. I suppose it’s odd that everyone’s just like ... completely un-weirded out by this admission. (🐭🐭🐭)

Daphne is happy because the common room was decorated by a gay couple, so that made it cool, and objectively that’s not a great thing to say but I confess it make me laugh, because what a Daphne thought. Imane is like, why do we let it slide when Daphne says stuff like that? Good question. I guess because Daphne’s enthusiasm is pretty charming if you just tune out her words themselves.

Eliott is like, we gave it body and soul … you sure did give it your body, as Daphne observes.

Imane says she’s happy for Eliott and Daphne asks if Imane and Eliott know each other. They smile at each other. Precious. So we’re getting that storyline in S4, let’s hope they do a decent job with it. It could be improved.

Lucas gets a text from his dad about going to mass. Dad guilts him, telling him to think of his mother. Lucas texts back that he’ll go to mass with his boyfriend. We don’t get an answer immediately from the dad, like with Isak; Lucas just tells him and looks over to his boyfriend smiling and laughing with the girls, like he doesn’t care what his dad says in that moment, he’s just going to enjoy being happy with Eliott. He gives Eliott a back hug, it’s very sweet.

Clip 3 - Boy squad = cheerleaders

Basile is talking about sending a song to a girl, presumably Daphne, because this is hell. She didn’t reply. Dude. Take the fucking hint.

I know I keep complaining about this a million times per post, but I keep being annoyed at Skam France for adding yet another no-means-yes romance where a girl’s stated disinterest is continually ignored by a guy. We already had Noorhelm/Marles. And Vilde/Magnus, whatever you think of them, didn’t have this crap tainting their courtship.

The boys run into Eliott who looks happy. Lucas proudly introduces Eliott as his boyfriend, without any insecurity, and the boys erupt in cheers like this is one of those videos where everyone’s watching as a kid is opening his email and learning he got accepted to Harvard (🐭🐭🐭). I mean, it is cute that the boys react so positively! I don’t want to discourage straight boys cheering on their gay friend getting a boyfriend. Go wild, throw some confetti, bake a cake.

Basile says Lucas made the boys bolt on Friday and is upset he didn’t get to paint. I feel like Basile’s “misunderstood genius” left uninterrupted would definitely have resulted in several big-tittied anime girls on that wall. The boys invite Eliott to the park on Wednesday. Eliott agrees to go even though Lucas points out he has class then. I guess maybe that’s a sign of Eliott being manic? Maybe? Like he doesn’t care about school and is being reckless?

Basile makes an incest joke. Not his first in the season.

The boys really do seem cute running away, I love Arthur’s moves! But again, I am never letting that “it’s not Disneyland” comment go, because everything is so shiny-happy. It’s not just positive in a realistic way, it’s that song that from The Lego Movie. With Isak, he was still shy after he came out to his friends because you know, he was a human being and turning off internalized homophobia wasn’t like flicking a light switch. He got more comfortable over time. And the boys were very excited to meet Even but in a chill, non-OTT way (even Magnus).

With content like this, I do think it is valuable to show exceedingly positive social support for a gay teenager coming out and getting a boyfriend, like I do feel a little bad having any nitpicks about this. Likewise, I hate to have any reservations about Lucas getting so totally open and affectionate with Eliott so fast, because this is the end goal, obviously, we want to see Lucas happy and thriving and out and proud. You could make the argument that now he knows his friends accept him, he can let go of his insecurities in full (I don’t know how I feel about that because I don’t think Lucas’ problem was solely about whether his friends would accept him, for instance the Pride scene was more about internalized homophobia). And I do think they wanted to make Lucas as happy as possible this week before bringing him down at the end of the episode, for the impact. But combined with stuff like treating his outing as no big deal, and cleaning house last week and putting the Chloé and Imane clips in that episode so we got those conflicts and plot threads out of the way, and then how Lucas is so 100% okay with announcing Eliott as his boyfriend and joking about their sex life and kissing him and embracing him in public, all of this right off the bat ... to me it almost feels like they wanted to skip over the inner conflict, any hesitation or lingering insecurities, and just get straight to the cuddly ship content. And I mean, I approve of cuddly ship content! It just seems a little pat? You can make something idealistic and realistic. I guess Skam resolved some conflicts easily, too, but I felt like Isak’s character development was gradual and earned, whereas Lucas’ lacks some nuance here.

Lucas gets a phone call and it’s from Lucille. I find it kinda weird we didn’t even hear her voice because that would be Lucas’ POV in this important moment. Eliott talks to Lucille and it doesn’t really seem like… alarming like it did with Even, that rapid change in mood. He just sounds annoyed that she’s calling Lucas and he told her not to.

Lucas asks why Lucille called, Eliott is like IDK, to bullshit you. Which honestly, seems like a reasonable enough response? I don’t get why Lucas looks at Eliott like Eliott is the one bullshitting him. It’s not nice but Eliott’s ex calling Lucas just to harass him or tell him to stay away is not a thing that’s all that unusual, it happens. Even was a lot harsher in attitude and weirder in what he said (”she doesn’t like people who live free and genuine”). Anyway, then Eliott says Lucille can’t control him (Eliott) anymore and is trying to go through Lucas. Eliott kisses Lucas, plays with his hair (which seems to be their Thing, which is adorable), kisses him again, leaves, comes back for another kiss. He pulls an Even and walks off backwards. Lucas blows him a kiss after he’s gone. Well, that’s the cutest thing I’ve seen from Lucas so far, and very endearing.

Clip 4 - Het drama? In my S3? It’s more likely than you think

Everyone, both boy and girl squads are having a picnic. There’s a cool effect where someone wipes away the time card as they walk through the frame, I don’t remember seeing anything like that before on Skam France or any other remake. Stuff like that is just a fun way to play with the format.

Is that the same lake as the one in the first clip of the season? Would be nice to call back, since Lucas was feeling detached back then, and now he’s surrounded by friends and literally lying in his man’s arms. Speaking of, Lucas and Eliott are a little ways off from everyone else, and like I said, Lucas is being cozy in Eliott’s arms. They talk about doing something this weekend; Eliott mentions that Lisa blacklisted him from the flatshare and I DO NOT BLAME HER after what happened on that couch. Although I guess you could say the other flatmates deserve it after relegating Lucas to the sofa.

Eliott mentions his parents will be there that weekend. Wait, so I thought he lived alone? Didn’t someone involved with the show say that? Guess I was wrong. Or are his parents just coming to visit? Anyway, obviously this is setup for them getting a hotel room or whatever their version is.

Okay: absolutely fucking ridiculous that this 4-minute clip features less than a minute actually focused on Lucas’ POV, in Lucas’ season. At the end of the season? Sure, absolutely, we’re wrapping up the season’s storylines and giving everyone some closure and/or setup for the next season. Switching POVs is perfectly fine then. But in the middle of the season??? What’s more - in the middle of episode 8??????? The end of episode 8 is a hugely important turn of the story. It twists everything we know about the Even character on its head, it’s an intense scene, even frightening. It should have us looking back, noticing the signs we didn’t know were there on first viewing. This is one of the worst times they could cut for an interlude about everyone else - let alone for crappy het romance drama.

They could’ve used these three minutes to hint at Eliott’s mania! Or put in some content about Lucas’ parents, especially with Lucas’ mom since he’s going to come out to her soon! You can even keep the picnic with everyone else, just have Eliott doing or saying something that in retrospect is a big-ass pile of foreshadowing. Considering this week has been very light on those hints so far, this would have been a perfect opportunity. At the very least, if you need that mandatory girl squad content, we could have seen all this het romance through Lucas’ eyes, like he’s not even in the scene with these people, really? It’s not like he’s watching or listening to them, he and Eliott are in their own little bubble. So just stay in the bubble with them, or let others into their bubble, or don’t have them in the bubble - they can be cuddling closer to everyone else and interacting with them.

Keep in mind that there was no French “5 fine frøkner” either, lmao. They cut that out and we got this scene instead. And like I said, I’m totally fine with the kitchen sing-along not being there, but if what we get instead is shit that has nothing to do with Lucas and isn’t even from his POV, to focus on a bunch of (terrible) m/f pairings ... then I’m going to get exasperated.

Basile worms in between Emma and Daphne, like legit shoves Emma to the side. Daphne is reading a book. Basile tries to make small talk, Daphne ignores him (as she well should) and talks to Emma over him. Basile asks her out for coffee, Daphne is like, I’m studying. With a respectful human being, the conversation would end here. It’s appalling to me that even these little moments are chock full of Basile’s entitlement! Daphne says she’s reading, so either a) she is genuinely trying to enjoy her book or get some homework done or b) she just really doesn’t want to talk to Basile or c) both but IN ANY CASE he needs to get the fucking picture, she is not interested in continuing this conversation. I had to vent after I saw this scene because I’m just astonished by how thoroughly awful this relationship has been depicted, like they are hitting ALL the typical entitled dude moments.

Anyway, welcome to hell. Arthur gives Basile the signal to keep going (and Arthur’s on my shit list, too, for enabling this behavior - like lol, here’s toxic masculinity for you). Basile asks if she heard the song he sent her. Daphne is like … the song with the deeply inappropriate lyrics? So not only is he continuing to bother her when she wants to be left alone, but the song he sent he was overly sexual? GEE WHY WOULD ANYONE THINK THIS IS HARASSMENT.

Arthur and Yann chide Basile for sending such a forward song, Yann told him to be less upfront so Daphne would want him. Yann is on my shit list, too! Stop encouraging this creepy behavior! This is like a textbook study of how guys enforce toxic masculinity, for real, because Arthur and Yann know full well that Daphne has said no a million times, she said no again 10 seconds ago while the boys were right there, and yet that’s not enough for them, either. They’re not telling Basile to back off.

Basile is like, what’s the point, no one wants me, and gets up and walks away. Lol, so this shit is about Basile’s poor feelings. Not Daphne’s, not how she felt when Basile was trying to hump her on the dance floor or never the shutting the fuck up about how he wants her. Basile being sad because he did a creepy thing and it wasn’t well-received. Of course. (I seriously think you could write that moment of him saying no one wants him in a way that’s poignant and sympathetic, but you have to build it up in a way where we can feel sorry for him without caveats. If you wanted me to feel sorry for him, don’t write him as persistently going after a girl who has said she’s not interested!)

Yann and Arthur talk to Daphne and are like, he probably didn’t even read the lyrics! Er, not Daphne’s fucking fault that Basile was lazy. The song was titled “May she love me.” The boys are like, how cute! OF FUCKING COURSE Daphne smiles a little after that as she looks at Basile walking off. The boys encourage Daphne to give him a chance. OF FUCKING COURSE men are telling a woman to give a poor guy a chance after she’s already said no over and over again.

Did anyone realize this is some Nice Guy nonsense, too? That Basile, he’s really a decent guy! He’s so sweet and nice with his well-intentioned song choice! So why doesn’t Daphne give him a chance, hmm? I mean Basile is such a Nice Guy and yet no one will love him.

I’m sorry I cannot stop talking about this but it is astonishing how much crap they have packed into every goddamn scene of this nonsense. This is a man’s fantasy, this is a woman’s nightmare. Actually, no, - it’s women’s reality, because it happens often enough that men don’t give a shit about our boundaries and our rejections (however firm or polite) that this is a whole subset of feminist discourse, that we have terms like Nice Guy because these attitudes are so prevalent they merit a common phrase, that almost every woman has stories about some dude who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Manon’s hat

That’s the comment, Manon’s fucking hat

The other girls are messing with Romain about period blood, heh. Manon goes after Emma when Emma walks off. (We get treated to yet more dialogue from Yann and Arthur trying to persuade Daphne to give Basile a chance, siiiiiiigh. Let the girl read her book!) Emma is bummed because Raptor Alex didn’t respond to Emma’s invitation and he’s seeing another girl tonight. Emma also slept with another guy, Manon is impressed by how she can do that. But Emma said it sucked with that other guy and that with Alex the sex was good, it was just that when he opened his mouth that she was turned off. Lmao, Emma, some things just aren’t meant to be that serious? He’s good in bed but he’s not that interesting of a person. It’s fine. Either keep your FWB thing going or find someone you can bang while also having stimulating conversations or whatever.

Emma says Manon and Alex have more to talk about than she and Alex, and that she saw them the other day. Talking about Charles, obviously. Emma lets on that she knows something is wrong with Manon, and she’s waiting for Manon to talk about it. This scene’s a lot like the talk between Yann and Lucas in episode 5, except somehow I don’t think Emma is going to walk away once Manon opens up.

Manon says it’s complicated with Charles and she doesn’t know if he’s coming back. Emma says she’ll wait for Manon to open up. Manon gets teary. Apart from the fact that this is not in Lucas’ POV, and that this is about crappy straight pairings, on its own this is a really nice interaction between the two of them.

But can we talk about how absolutely awful the het pairings on this show are? We have Manon/Charles with their ramped-up alpha male crap in S2 and then what he did to Manon in London, which was despicable. We have Emma/Alex, who are functional as fuckbuddies but have no real intellectual or emotional connection (fine for what it is, but don’t tell me this is supposed to be a real romance). We have Alex/Romain, the bi girl with the boyfriend who’s fetishizing her and asking her for a threesome the minute after she comes out to him, basically. She seems done with him already, like she’s just dating him out of habit now. And we have Basile/Daphne, at the very bottom of the trash heap. I want Imane to have a love interest who’s genuinely great and who deserves her, but seriously, the bar is so low that French Yousef could basically lie on the ground and roll over it.

Clip 5 - Boat bangin’

Eliott leads Lucas to his surprise at the docks. There’s some cute banter with them; they do have nice chemistry when they’re directed well and allowed to be free with each other (when it’s been off I chalk that up to scenes being rushed more than the actors, but it hasn’t been often). Missed opportunity to do something interesting with POV, though? The boat and the dock are shown immediately, but since Eliott is covering Lucas’ eyes, they could replicate the sense of surprise by not showing the boat right away, just have a closeup on Lucas and Eliott until Eliott tells him to look, so we see the reveal when he does.

Eliott shows Lucas that they’re on a boat and Lucas is stunned and happy. He asks how Eliott paid for the boat and Eliott just blows off that question and swoops in for a kiss, and I mean, when a face that pretty is that happy, are you going to question it? Maxence does seem to be doing a nice job with the manic signs here; he’s just a little elevated and giddy, and it could certainly just be excitement to be alone with his new boyfriend, but it also registers as slightly higher than Eliott’s usual range to me.

Eliott yells about his hot boyfriend to the water and he and Lucas goof around, it’s very cute. Lucas says no one has ever done anything like this for him. Awwww. But also, you understand why he’s letting the question of how Eliott paid for the boat slide. He’s just thrilled to be with him and touched by the grand gesture.

Inside the boat, Eliott pours champagne for him and Lucas. It’s not real champagne, as it turns out. I do like how this scene is shot, I don’t like a lot of Skam France’s directing but this is working for me. The scene on the deck was beautiful like a romantic movie scene, like it’s supposed to feel for Lucas, a combination of light and dark. But now the darkness inside the boat feels a little more stifling, in my opinion. I like that we see them from the side, considering each other.

Eliott tells Lucas to try to eat some Italian ham, and I do like how Lucas is playacting like they’re living it up and being fancy. It’s a good thing because there is no fucking way on this planet that eating that ham is a sexy move. It is the opposite of sexy. Eliott snatches ham from Lucas. Even the literal male model cannot make eating ham look sexy. Lucas describes the ham in sensual detail. Lucas says that it’s so good, you’d have thought Eliott cooked it. Eliott laughs and there’s a long look, which gets kind of intense? There’s something lingering in the air. I guess I was wrong, because these two seem immensely aroused by eating ham. Okay. No judgment. Glad you two found each other.

Eliott lights a cigarette, and like smoking kills and all, but objectively way sexier than eating ham. He shotguns with Lucas like Lucas did with Chloé in episode 1, except Eliott is way more skilled at it and obviously this is way sexier/more fulfilling to Lucas. Lucas is ready to fuuuuuuuuck.

They smile at each other, very fond of each other, in love, and then we cut to the sex scene. To Skam France’s credit: they’re not shy or coy about showing the gay intimacy. The actors seem to be pretty naked. Stuff happens.

I personally don’t find this kind of sex scene terribly sexy, because the mechanics of bodies are less interesting to me than the characters’ emotions during the scene, usually (unless there’s something really unusual or notable going on, lol). The Evak hotel clip happened to be the exact kind of TV/movie sex scene I like: more suggestive than explicit, more focused on their faces and their expressions. With Lucas and Eliott, I give massive props to the actors for going this far with each other, and they’re not shy or uncomfortable, but I also wish we saw more of their expressions so this scene felt like them and not any two bodies going at it? But anyway, again, not a flaw of the scene, just a personal preference.

Anyway, in the afterglow, Lucas looks totally fucked into contentment and says he wants to live his life on the barge. Eliott says he does too and starts talking about renting it for the wedding and getting lots of ham and crisps, ONLY ham and crisps for their wedding. Lucas thinks that sounds like a disappointing wedding menu. Eliott starts eagerly rambling about how their wedding will be so great that everyone will only want ham and crisps at their weddings and caterers will go out of business and somehow Trump is involved because ham isn’t enough of a boner killer, we gotta have Trump mentioned, too. Lucas is kinda amused, with a trace of “huh.”

He talks more about the Ham Cold War and going off on a barge and the sound effect from the Skam hotel clip happens, or at least there’s this low rumbling like it might almost be the motor or mechanics of the boat? Whatever it is, it’s ominous, it signifies this conversation getting less goofy and idealistic, more like reality crashing on Lucas as he realizes something’s off about Eliott.

I like how they shot Eliott in this scene. He’s facing that camera and we’re very close to him, so it adds to the intensity of what he’s saying. The editing is also slightly choppy, some cuts between what Eliott is saying, it’s fractured and disjointed like the thoughts in his head, harder to follow.

Eliott just keeps going with this story, like he’s writing a novel in his head involving Trump and making friends with a drug lord and having to deliver weed via boat globally. Like, the kind of thing that could be just messing around, inventing a funny story, except for intense Eliott is about it. It’s making him crack up, he can’t stop laughing. And he doesn’t notice (or care) that Lucas isn’t really following or participating in this story, Eliott is off on his own adventure.

Lucas is just like … wow. Now confused. Either Eliott is drunk as fuck or there’s something really strange happening.

Eliott lies beside Lucas and asks about the Eliotts and Lucases in parallel universes. Then he says they should die tonight. RECORD SCRATCH. Lucas is taken aback to say the least. Why would Eliott say that? Eliott kisses Lucas on the forehead and says he’s kidding. He snuggles up to Lucas and Lucas is bothered. I mean, yeah, who wouldn’t be after your boyfriend casually suggests a double suicide? This ain’t Romeo + Juliet. (Although honestly, I feel like this might be more in line with Even’s characterization, since he’s the one who thinks “the only way to have something forever is by losing it” which would go along with the idea of dying at one’s peak, and he’s also the one making references to death or suicide throughout S3. Eliott doesn’t really talk about death or suicide, as far as I can remember?)

Clip 6 - Ship sinking

It’s later, Lucas is sleeping. He wakes up and Eliott is sitting by the side of the bed watching him. If you didn’t know the twist, you might think Eliott lured Lucas out to this boat to murder him. And here I thought Lucas was the one with the serial killer vibe. Lucas asks if he ever sleeps. Er, have we gotten a ton of hints that Eliott doesn’t sleep? I mean thinking about it, there was no reason for Eliott to be asleep in the cuddle scene in episode 5, because their make-out was in the middle of the day. Not unusual for him to stay awake. Did he say something in the kitchen scene that implied he hadn’t slept? We also didn’t get any middle of the night texts, as with Even. But Eliott says he can’t sleep with someone this hot in the bed. He sounds deadly somber when he says it, though. Lucas smiles and goes back to sleep.

Cut to later. Somewhat blurry lens because Lucas is drowsy and it represents his hazy state of mind. Eliott is naked and lacing up his sneakers. He says he’s going for a swim. Bare ass. Lucas is about to fall back asleep when he’s like … wait a second. He gets dressed, runs around the boat looking for Eliott and calling his name.

Was there a splash? I didn’t hear one. Better if there wasn’t a splash, but then you have no idea where Eliott is. And for Lucas, hearing that whole thing about “let’s die tonight” is going to make him panic even more.

Lucas is yelling and in tears, he calls Lucille. Axel does a nice job here. There’s the sound of police/ambulance/whatever those sirens are in the background, so did they find Eliott? Or are they just thematic at the moment? (The sirens were in the original Skam scene, too.) Lucas asks Lucille to come. Lucas screams and freaks out, he’s shaking.

Lucille shows up on the boat and Lucas tells her what happened. He;s more angry and upset and spitting than Isak, which makes sense with Lucas’ temper. But he’s also unraveling and in tears. Lucas describes how Eliott said he was going for a swim, and he doesn’t think Eliott jumped, but he was naked.

Lucille says they have to hope the cops find him. When Lucas says he doesn’t understand, Lucille screams at him that Eliott is bipolar and broke into the barge. Lucas is like … he said he rented it. Lucille is like, for fuck’s sake, how do you think he paid for it? I dont know, is it totally out of the question Eliott has rich parents who give him a sizable allowance? I assumed Even just charged way too fucking much for that hotel suite or that he wiped out his savings or something, and Eliott could’ve done something similar. Though granted, I don’t know how much a weekend in a French barge costs. Anyway, I guess the point is that Lucas was so wrapped up in the fantasy that he didn’t bother to ask for further details, which is true.

Lucille asks if they smoked, pissed a hell. Lucas says just a little. Lucille says it makes Eliott sick and is bad for him. I mean, as I said about the Skam scene -that’s not Lucas’/Isak’s fault, that’s on Eliott/Even to know what he can and can’t do.

The way they lit and framed Lucille in this scene makes her seem kinda villainous, tbh. Or at least more dominant - it appears like she’s literally looking down at Lucas. I mean, she is very tall, heh.

Lucille gets a call, they’ve found Eliott. Lucas questions if they should call his parents, Lucille is like YES they should, obviously, he was naked in the street after he broke into a barge and he was smoking weed. I cannot disagree with Lucille on this.

Lucas wants to go with Lucille, but Lucille says no, Lucas needs to stay away, Eliott doesn’t love him, he can’t love him, it’s just something inside his head. She says Lucas is nothing to Eliott, he’s just a passing craze. What Lucille doesn’t know is that Lucas ain’t no passing phase, Hakuna Matata. Lucas sits down and cries after she leaves. Deeply dramatic piano music plays as he sobs. It gets a little too soap opera-ish here at the end, although I get that it’s a very intense scene; I just think the impact would’ve been just as great if they dialed it to a 10 instead of an 11. But you know, it’s Skam France.

Yeah, they made Lucille way more of an OTT villain here. I have to assume they’ll give her chance to speak for herself and humanize her like with Sonja, but it felt they escalated her less from someone who was just frustrated and concerned to someone who was operating out of spite, especially with the way they structured the scene. Like Sonja had the “he doesn’t love you” part earlier and she wasn’t like spitting at him. Isak was in disbelief, and she just left him like she was fed up. But they saved that “he doesn’t love you” part here for the final insult, the last knife to the ribs, and they made it more intense, too, like YOU’RE NOTHING TO HIM. Okay, Lucille, we get the picture, you can go back to punishing those kids for eating your gingerbread house.

I was pretty worried that this scene was going to be overly dramatic verging on exploitative, considering Skam France’s tendency to go over-the-top. But actually I think this set of clips was fine, other than the very end which was too much for my taste. The acting was strong and there were some solid directing choices. My biggest criticism is that they could have hinted at Eliott’s mania more before this clip, and that there wasn’t so much foreshadowing for this scene, in my opinion. And with Skam it wasn’t just about the clues that Even was bipolar, either, but the buildup of tension that something was off. Things like Eliott’s texts in the middle of the night about random memes managed to feel ominous, because we knew Even wasn’t sleeping. There are some moments that arguably were supposed to be hints about Eliott being manic, but I didn’t feel like they were so different from the rest of the acting/writing/directing/pacing that they really registered. So overall: buildup weak, payoff good on its own.

Social Media/General Comments

Lucas is shown hacking into the sink from the omelette that Eliott made, but I’m not convinced it wasn’t the paint. He posts a picture of the eggs like “If I get food poisoning, you’ll know why” YES BECAUSE YOUR MOUTHS WERE GUZZLING ART SUPPLIES OFF EACH OTHER LAST NIGHT.

Lucas did like all the meaningful posts on Eliott’s secret IG, like sketches of the rain and piano.

Eliott sleeps and Lucas cuddles him while singing a cover of “Call Your Girlfriend.” Sick Skam reference! (Actually I think Skam France's OG homages are really sweet.)

Lots of Eliott and Lucas couple selfies, with cuddly captions like “Him” or comments like “raccoon <3 hedgehog” emojis. Eliott draws another sketch of their fursonas together in all parallel universes.

Skam France also did something where they posted the sketch with pictures of the three Evaks out at the time, (from Norway, Italia, and France) which was seriously very cute and respectful of them.

Basile is wearing a Game of Thrones T-shirt (”Hodor Hodor Hodor”) in an IG pic and not to judge because I watch Game of Thrones myself, I’m literally wearing socks with the House Targaryen sigil on them right now, but yeah, that sounds about right for his character.

There’s also a dick print on the mural, it seems? For fuck’s sake, how could Eliott and Lucas possibly have any satisfying sex with paint slathered over their junk? Or did they wait until they were finished and just wiped off the paint by plastering their bodies against the mural? Maybe that’s how they cleaned themselves up. But how could you possibly get that good of a penis shape without just like ... dipping your dick into the bucket of paint itself? How could you position your dick and balls against the wall that way to get the imprint? Anyway, Alex and Emma have a bet over whose dick it is. I don’t think it’s anyone’s actual dick, Eliott and/or Lucas just thought it would be funny to paint something that looked like one.

Lucas brings up the Lucille call in a text to Eliott, saying that maybe Lucille had something to tell him, and that Eliott told her to fuck off. Eliott brings up that it’s something they had in common: Eliott told Lucille to fuck off so he could be with Lucas, Lucas told his friends to fuck off so he could be with Eliott (on Friday in the foyer). Well. Not totally the same, Eliott, but I feel like this is almost a diversion from what Lucas wants to know. Eliott says sometimes you have to tell people to fuck off to live your life. Lucas seems appeased by this answer for now, because he doesn’t push the topic, just says he’s happy Eliott is going with them tomorrow to the park.

I am not French so please feel free to correct me on translation or cultural notes.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamfr reactions #skam france reactions

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lenaisanerd · 6 years

Text

swing a little further

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It's really hot. The gang goes to the park. It rains. (Alternatively: Izzy stares at Clary for 3400 words.)

This was supposed to be shorter, but it turned into something that is not that short while I wrote it. This is my first published fanfic on Tumblr (exciting). Please reblog or like if you enjoy it!

A huge thank you to my friends and editors @disaster-lesbiab , @raisehades , and @beesarekind , who made this fic possible (and who have been very patiently listening to me ramble on about Shadowhunters for months. Thanks.).

One week since the Institute’s AC system had given out. Turns out not even angelic power can withstand a New York heatwave, and with temperatures outside steadily climbing over 30 degrees, the heat had started seeping through every crack and crevice into the normally cool building. The humidity exacerbated the effects of the hot weather, and in Isabelle’s opinion it was a miracle no one had collapsed from a heat stroke yet.

According to the weather report a massive thunderstorm was due any day now, but what did mundanes know. It certainly hadn’t rained any of the previous four days when they had promised the exact same thing. Izzy’s hope and patience were wearing thin.

There were precisely three things that gave her the strength to drag herself out of bed every morning: One, by now being in her room with its huge portion of stained glass window was even more unbearable than hiding from the sun in the armory. Izzy had even tried sitting in the dungeons to do her paperwork, because being underground should be at least marginally cooler. But apparently sitting on the floor leaning against a wall while looking at a tablet in your lap for 10 hours at a time can really fuck up your back.

Two, the Institute was caught up in approximately one fuckton of work. NYC had picked the worst three weeks of the past year for a demon infestation in the Hudson. Getting rid of the little bastards, clean-up of the river, and convincing mundane victims and the police it was just a really violent species of manatee had kept every available Shadowhunter (and quite a few warlocks) busy. And when your brother is Head of the Institute, and also not afraid to barge into your room to kick you out of bed, sleeping late is not an option, even if Izzy was tempted a few times to quit sentient existence and melt into her mattress.

Three, even though the heatwave left everyone sweaty, tired, and often sunburnt, Clary was a literal angel all the same. Isabelle had started mentally drawing constellations between the hundreds of freckles that had popped up on Clary’s face and shoulders because of her time spent in the sun on missions.

She had given up on all black clothing about two days into the heatwave and was now wearing a different, slightly ratty and paint-splattered t-shirt every day, which, Izzy had to admit, suited Clary even better than black leather or skin-tight party dresses. And although a sunburn was starting to colour her cheekbones and the bridge of her nose, Izzy could still see Clary’s adorable blush whenever she complimented Isabelle. Seeing the redhead’s brilliant smile every morning as soon as she spotted Izzy in the op center or training room was truly the only thing that made the heat bearable.

“...and Luke said he’s going to take care of the press stuff, he knows a guy at the Times. We’re still going with the murderous manatee story, right? Izzy? Did you hear me?”

Clary’s question ripped Izzy out of her dazed daydream, where she had been busy appreciating a single frizzy strand of hair that had found its way out of the ponytail Clary had pulled her red curls into.

Izzy quickly took a sip of her water bottle on the table in front of her to stall while searching for an answer in the depths of her mind. She should really pick better moments to drool over Clary than in the middle of being briefed by Clary. Then again, she was. really. tired. 10 hours of work, fixing weapons, debriefing teams back from missions, chasing after reports from junior Hunters. It was high time for a break.

“Yes, of course, the manatee thing. Let’s do that.”

Clary shook her head. “I still can’t believe the shit Shadowhunters get Mundanes to believe. You would think after a while someone would pick up on the weirdness.”

“You didn’t.”

“Touché, Lightwood.”

Isabelle grinned, Clary smiled back. Maybe a little longer than was justified, given Izzy’s weak attempt at banter. Not that Izzy minded.

A distant, sustained honk cut through the silence between them. At the same moment both their phones buzzed. Clary was the first to get hers out. She checked the message and frowned.

“A text from Simon: ‘Come outside’?”

Izzy raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“Hey Iz. You get a text too?”

Alec was coming down the stairs and striding quickly towards her on long legs. He looked worn out, dark circles under his hazel eyes. Izzy was fairly certain that he had not left the Institute in at least two days.

She nodded and held up her phone.

“Any idea what it means?” she asked.

“Nope. Better go obey his command though, or someone else will go and strangle him to get him to stop honking.”

Now the connection between the sound and the message clicked into place in Izzy’s mind. The honking had started up again, a long honk followed by several short, irregular bursts. It must have been coming from just outside the doors of the Institute. Walking towards the exit it grew louder. Clary pushed open the door.

Across the way from the steps a painted van was parked under a tall plane tree, its owner stood in the open driver side door to play out a rhythm on the horn. Simon waved when he saw them.

Maia was sitting on the roof, leaning back while her legs dangled over the side. Leaning against the hood of the car, Magnus had taken off his vest to sling it over his shoulder, looking for all the world like a supermodel with his sunglasses, rolled up trouser cuffs and a shirt that was unbuttoned almost down to his bellybutton.

Izzy heard her brother draw in a sharp breath, before he rushed down the steps to greet his boyfriend with a kiss. Clary and Izzy followed more slowly.

“What are you guys doing here?” Clary said as she hugged Simon in greeting. “I thought you wanted to get out of the city, go to the beach?”

Izzy tugged playfully at Maia’s ankle and squinted up at her. The sunlight streaming through the foliage made her coiled hair shine like a ring of gold.

Maia grinned and sighed. “We had planned that, yes. But Thor over here is convinced he can predict the weather--”

“Hey, all I’m saying is that my hair is standing on end today, which normally happens when a storm is incoming, and a thunderstorm is not the ideal condition for swimming--”

“The weather report has been talking about rain for like a week now, it still hasn’t happened. You’re just afraid of the ocean!”

Simon gasped in outrage, though Izzy could see his eyes twinkle slightly.

“I am not! And how dare you suggest I cannot predict the weather. I’ll have you know that my predictions saved Clary and me from getting drenched during the Great Sports Day Downpour of 2014.”

“Simon, I’m pretty sure you just didn’t want to do the three-legged race with me.” Clary was chuckling. “And I remember that we got wet anyways when you tripped and we fell into that huge puddle.”

“No, I remember that you tripped and I only fell in because our legs were still tied together!”

They all burst into a fit of giggles at the mental image. Even Magnus and Alec looked over grinning from where they were still leaning against the hood of the van, a casual embrace tangling their arms and legs with as much body contact as the heat would allow.

Izzy tried to remember the last time the two of them had seen each other. Had it been a week? Two? Magnus must have been kept busy as well. Now it seemed like they had been standing like this for hours, their bodies slotting together with comfortable familiarity. Isabelle let her eyes wander over to Clary next to her. Was it stupid to hope their limbs would fit together in the same way?

“But even if we could go to the beach, which we absolutely can’t, because of the storm, what would we do without our favourite demon-hunting buddies?” Simon added, and then, stage whispering while leaning close to Izzy, “we were starting to think you guys had fused with your desks, or that you had moved to Canada without telling us.”

“Seriously, you had us worried. When did you last have a day off, or at least take a break?” Maia asked.

Izzy’s shoulders slumped. “Don’t ask, I don’t think I could tell you.”

“Well then, it’s good that we’re here to enforce some mandatory downtime,” Simon said while rummaging around in the back of the van. He finally emerged holding two plastic bags and a canvas tote.

“Maia and I picked up the essentials of relaxation on the drive here. Books,” he turned the canvas bag around so they could see the New York Public Library logo on the front ,“and candy. It’s all Fourth of July themed though. There was a sale,” he added apologetically, as if he wasn’t holding the most beautiful things Izzy had seen in days.

“We appreciate the gesture, but there’s still so much to do, all the paperwork for the cleanup,” Alec chimed in, but Izzy knew him well enough to recognize his opposition as rather half-hearted.

She met Clary’s eyes and they both put on their best pleading face. Simon and Maia had witnessed these battles of will a few times before, so they reserved themselves to keeping quiet and glancing between Alec and his opponents.

Alec tried to seek support with Magnus and looked at him instead. Like Magnus was gonna tell his overworked boyfriend to go back inside for second helpings, Izzy thought, especially when he was right here ready to distract Alec. Her brother must have been kidding himself.

After about five seconds, she could see his resolve crumble like a dry sand wall.

“Okay, you know what, you’re right. Fuck this, let’s get out of here. Hey Underhill,” he called to the Shadowhunter standing just inside the entryway of the Institute, who made his way slightly reluctantly out of the shade and over to the van, “you’re in charge until I get back. Tell everyone to finish what absolutely needs doing today, and then to take the rest of the day off.”

Underhill gave a short nod and smiled. His eyes lingered on Magnus and Alec for a split second, still standing with their arms around each other, before he turned to leave.

They left the van parked in front of the Institute and set off on foot. After a half hour of strolling at a leisurely pace they reached Rockefeller Park and settled under a tree in view of the river. The afternoon sun shone brightly and with an intense glare, and only a few people were sitting on the grass, some under umbrellas to provide shade.

Most inhabitants of the city seemed to have traded the sultry climate outside for air-conditioned offices, apartments, or movie theaters. Even in the middle of Manhattan the world moved slowly and quietly. The traffic and buzz of downtown were miles away, a vague hum in the distance. Time was sticky and thick like honey.

Izzy looked up from her copy of Lavinia. She was feeling sleepy and content, her stomach full of sweets, her sneakers lying next to her with her feet naked on the grass. She took in the scene in front of her:

Magnus was sitting against the tree trunk to her left, her brother’s head in his lap. The warlock had one hand in Alec’s hair, the other held Eros the Bittersweet from which he was reading in a soft voice. Occasionally Alec would open his mouth to make an observation or a joke, and Magnus would look down at him and laugh.

A few meters away Maia had abandoned her reading to try and catch the Skittles Clary was throwing into Maia’s mouth. Simon had also put his copy of Kavalier and Clay aside to watch and to distract both of them by plucking out single blades of grass and pitching them at them with pinpoint accuracy like tiny spears.

Finally Maia had enough and sprang like a fox on the hunt to tackle her boyfriend. After rolling over on the ground once or twice, Maia ended up on top, straddling Simon’s chest and pinning him down. She proceeded to rip out a handful of grass and sprinkle it on Simon, while he laughed and sputtered, trying to blow the grass away from his face.

Clary watched from her Skittle throwing spot, The Wicked + The Divine open on one of her crossed legs. Leaf-filtered sunlight dappled her skin, a smile crinkled the corners of her eyes.

Izzy took a deep breath and exhaled slowly through her nose. The air carried the smells of sunscreen, dry grass, and the river. She had the sudden thought how strange and lucky it was that she was here, lying under a tree with her favourite people in the whole world, how somehow they had all made here. Sometimes it seemed like the world was about to end every other week, and they couldn’t go two months without at least one of them almost dying. But it wasn’t, and they hadn’t.

“Izzy, everything okay?” Clary had sat down next to her. There were faint grass-stains on her grey jeans.

“You know, before I met you, Alec, Jace and I didn’t do this sort of thing.”

Izzy gestured to their surroundings.

“Sitting in some park, during the day, just doing nothing. Sure, we had free time sometimes. Mostly after missions, late at night, when we were so keyed up we just couldn’t go home to bed. We’d get some food, or go to a party, or walk through the city for hours just exploring until the sun went up.“

“And we had fun. But it was always just a distraction, something to kill time, until the next mission or training session, until we had to go back to the Institute or our parents would get mad. The stuff we do with you or Simon or Maia is…” she smiled, “nice. Different. But nice. Is this what being mundane is like? Nothing to do, nowhere to be but here?”

Clary had been watching Izzy’s face attentively, but now she was looking out at the park, the people walking by or lying on the grass.

“Simon and I used to do this stuff all the time. Sometimes I used to think we were just wasting time, but we really had some of our best weekends when we were just off doing nothing. I just didn’t know it at the time.”

“Do you miss, you know. Your old life? Being mundane?”

Clary was quiet for a moment.

“I do, yeah. Even now. I’ll be walking down some street in my old neighbourhood, and it just hits me, the memories. I miss it so much sometimes it physically hurts. And I think about the girl I was a year ago, and she seems like a stranger. A totally different person.”

“But,” she said and her eyes met Izzy’s, “I also think about all the things I’ve seen, everything I’ve learnt. The people I’ve met.” She smiled. “If I was still living my old life, I never would have met you.”

“That, Clary Fairchild, would have been a tragedy.” Izzy grinned.

“Exactly.”

A loud rumbling sounded in the mid-distance. Izzy just managed to tear herself away from Clary’s gaze to look at the horizon. Dark clouds were gathering and moving quickly towards the city, blown by high-altitude winds, although the air on the ground remained hot and still. The air was heavy with static and the humidity clung to her skin. The surface of the Hudson rippled with a few tiny raindrops.

“Ha! What did I tell you?” Simon’s grin was triumphant and infectious. He turned to Maia. “And you doubted me.”

Maia obviously wasn’t ready to give in. “This is nothing. I’m sure it’ll pass and we’ll be fine under the tr--”

The rain came down hard. They had just enough time to pack up their things and put on their shoes before the leafy canopy above them gave in to unload large drops on their heads. It became clear in minutes that staying under the tree wasn’t going to provide much cover.

Simon was the first to dash out into the pouring rain, speeding faster than Izzy’s eyes could follow. When he stopped to wait for the others however the rain caught up with him. He yelped and tried to use his jacket as a makeshift umbrella, which was pointless as any and all clothing was soaked through in seconds.

Maia followed, and immediately after her Magnus and Alec, who were jogging leisurely across the lawn under a small shield Magnus maintained with one hand held over their heads. The faint blue glow was almost invisible, but the rivers of rainwater running off it were not, and Izzy hoped quietly that the few mundanes who remained in the park were too busy getting drenched to notice.

“Our turn.”

Izzy’s attention snapped back to Clary. She had stepped out from under the meager protection of the tree canopy into the rain and was tilting her head back to let the raindrops hit her face. Then she turned back to look at Izzy, smiling, red hair darkened by the rain, a few wet strands clinging to her face.

Clary reached out and took Izzy’s hand. There was a sensation, like a spark of static, but somehow more than physical. Izzy was almost ready to chalk it up to the thunderstorm, all the electricity in the air, or her imagination, when she looked up at Clary.

Her green eyes were wide and tiny rain droplets caught on her lashes. She had felt it too. For a moment they both stood motionless, breaths held, hands clasped.

Then the moment passed, and Clary whipped around to drag Izzy into the rain and towards their friends. Hand in hand they ran across the flooded lawn, water splashing up around their ankles with every step. A flash of lightning followed closely by booming thunder accompanied them.

The others stood under Magnus’ shield, which was now several meters in diameter. Alec was grinning at Izzy when she skidded to a stop next to him. His eyes wandered down to her hand in Clary’s.

“Took you two slowpokes long enough to get here.”

Izzy raised one perfect eyebrow and smiled mockingly.

“Sounds like a challenge. Race you to the Institute?”

Alec’s eyes narrowed, obviously incentivized. He shot Magnus a quick glance. The warlock smiled.

“Oh, go on Alexander, I couldn’t deprive you. Besides,” his eyes flashed golden for a split second, “I’m sure I can keep up.”

In the blink of an eye, Alec had given Magnus a kiss on the cheek and had dashed off. Izzy rolled her eyes and followed. As if he could shake her with tricks like that.

Among shrieks, shouts and laughter the group ran through the pouring rain. By the time they reached the Institute they were all out of breath and soaked to the bone.

By some sort of miracle (and through the magic of plastic bags) the books had managed to stay dry, and Simon stashed them safely in the van before he and Maia made their goodbyes and disappeared in the vehicle as well in search of towels.

Magnus, having had quite enough of being wet, opened a portal to his apartment. He practically had to drag Alec, who was still arguing with his little sister about who had really won the race, through. Izzy and Clary were left alone on the steps of the Institute.

The storm had cooled off the air noticeably, and the weird pressure had lifted. Everything felt suddenly lighter, the constant noise of the rain and the thunder drowning out the hum of the city until Izzy barely noticed it.

Standing in the warm rain, drops hitting her shoulders and face until rivulets formed on her skin, the world faded out until only Clary remained, her eyes, her laughter, her hand holding tight. Izzy tilted her head back and looked up at the sky. She smiled.

#shadowhunters #clizzy #shadowhunters fic #sh fic #isabelle lightwood #my writing #sh writing #clary x izzy #fanfuckery

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carmenlire · 6 years

Text

Higher than the Big Trees

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“Shit, shit, shit,” Magnus mutters as he hears his alarm going off through the fog of sleep.

He’s in bed, covers tucked up to his chin, head very firmly under the pillow that can’t quite muffle the chorus to Stir Fry. Magnus raises his head from underneath the pillows and it only takes him three tries to turn off his phone screen, a minor miracle considering he’s the polar opposite of a morning person.

He lays there for a minute, thinking over the past twenty-four hours. He’d had a run in with the Alec Lightwood.

Alexander.

Well, two actually, Magnus muses. While it had only been a second, they’d almost bumped into each other at Uptown Java yesterday morning.

Even if Magnus wasn’t an ardent fan of Lightwood’s and followed him on all major social media, he’s have known the singer was back in town by Luke’s countenance alone. Magnus has been frequenting the coffee shop in Soho for years and there’s always a little extra pep in Luke’s step when he hears from the man who might as well be his son. When Alec is in town, Luke is simply over the moon. It's adorable.

Magnus has picked up all manner of little tidbits about the Lightwood siblings throughout the years and meeting the man in question had only piqued his interest further. Magnus knew Alec was a stunning specimen, but nothing had prepared him for seeing him in person. Even if Alexander had looked like he was recovering from a three day bender, nothing could mask the sheer beauty of the man. It was just as well that he’d walked out of Uptown Java yesterday without a second glance because Magnus had found himself tongue-tied in a way he never had before.

So imagine his surprise and delight when none other than Lightwood had ducked into a dingy diner last night, looking far too good in a denim button-up and ripped skinny jeans that showed off his body to advantage.

Let’s be real, he could wear a paper sack and make it couture.

Magnus had been drinking far too many cups of coffee and grading papers that were frankly mediocre, despairing over the future of academia, when he’d glanced up and almost swallowed his tongue.

He’d played it cool and just offered a little smile when their eyes had met, but he couldn’t resist stopping by Alec’s table on his way out the door. It had surprised him that Alec could hold a conversation, if he was being honest. With any other person who possessed such good looks and seemed to revel in their playboy image, Magnus would have dismissed them as all fluff, no substance.

Maybe he’s a little judge-y, but he has the world experience to back it up.

But the two of them had sat in that little hole-in-the-wall diner for hours in a cracked vinyl booth-- in an alarming shade of red-- and talked about everything from Germany’s pop culture in the early twentieth century to how incredible of a show Brooklyn Nine Nine was and Magnus hadn’t been bored. He’d been on the edge of his seat, enthralled with the man sitting across from him who liked vanilla milkshakes and had a penchant for blushing.

While it had pained him a little to leave, it had been almost three in the morning and Magnus was apparently cursed to have Friday morning classes until he died of Early Worm Syndrome.

Magnus couldn’t find it in himself to regret last night-- this morning?-- though. It was six o’clock now and he’d managed a lousy two and a half hours of sleep, but now that the fog of the dreamless was receding, he was energized. Apparently, Alexander gave everyone a pep in their step.

Magnus stood up from bed, getting ready for the day. He showered using his signature sandalwood products and decided on one of his Victorian-inspired outfits. He might have gone a little dramatic on the makeup, but he’d never met a highlighter that didn’t suit him and he was partial to that shade of gold eyeliner.

Leaving the house with exactly eight minutes to spare, Magnus reflected wryly that he needed to meet celebrities more often-- maybe then he wouldn’t be perpetually running out of the house exactly two minutes behind schedule.

Having left his briefcase and jacket in his office, Magnus strolls along the path that leads to his class’ building, stopping to get a large macchiato, with an extra shot of espresso, on the way. While still early, especially by student’s standards, there are still a fair number of people outside. Some are rushing to class while others have already claimed their spots for the day, studying on blankets in the grass and under huge trees that will be a lifesaver once the heat hits in a few hours. There’s a girl riding a skateboard and the clacking of wheels over cement cracks accompanies the chirping of birds. It’s damn near idyllic and Magnus takes a sip of his coffee and let’s Columbia sink into his bones for the thousandth time since he first accepted his teaching position.

Magnus has been teaching full time for five years, with the last year doubling as professor and chair of the history department. Before that, he dabbled in student teaching while getting his undergrad and Ph.D. at Stanford and Oxford, respectively. He’s the youngest Chair in Columbia’s history and was insufferable about the promotion for weeks. He’s only twenty-nine but he’s decades older in terms of career projection. It’s a heady feeling that hasn’t dissipated, even after almost a year.

A few students greet him as they walk past and Magnus smiles, catching up with a few who he’ll see early next week in his senior-level seminar. Magnus’s reputation in the history department, in fact on campus in general, precedes him. It's stellar. He takes great pride in being one of the most well-liked professors at Columbia and works hard to maintain his outstanding reputation. That means learning all of his students’ names, being a dynamic, attentive, and sharp professor, and always being willing to go the extra mile for students who need it-- and who put in the work to warrant it.

Magnus walks into class and it’s already buzzing. A few people throw out, “hey Professor Bane,” and he smiles and acknowledges them before setting his coffee down-- after one last sip-- and logging into the computer. He catches snippets of conversation, most of which revolve around their projected midterm grades, and Magnus laughs to himself and raises a brow as he overhears a wild tale about a keg, a boy, and a misplaced thong.

Some things never change.

Students continue to file in and exactly on time, Magnus begins class.

He walks over to the front of the room with the stack of midterms in hand.

He raises a brow, asking, “Wanting these are we?”

Everyone nods, some in resignation and some in anticipation.

Handing them back alphabetically, Magnus reviews the essays. “Overall, I was impressed with your midterms. As freshman, you are just starting to acquaint yourselves with college-level work and, for the most part, were successful. I’ve written in a few of your blue books to come see me during my office hours. If you earned less than a seventy percent, I do want to urge you to drop by. We’ll discuss your exam in more detail and hopefully hammer out what went awry this round.

“For those wondering, there’s no curve. The highest grade was a ninety-four and the lowest-- well. No need to disclose the lowest score,” Magnus continues with a cheeky grin.

“While grading these, it looks like there was some confusion on France’s role leading up to the WWI. I want to briefly review that and answer any questions you all might have before we move on to the next section in the syllabus. Any questions?”

“Remember, if you got under a seventy percent on the midterm, come see me! My office hours are Tuesdays and Thursdays noon to three. If that doesn’t work out, email me and we’ll figure out a time together. Have a good weekend,” Magnus calls out to the students packing up and already leaving, no doubt tuning his voice out as soon as he called an end to class.

The class has a capacity of thirty and twenty-one showed up this morning. Not terrible for Friday at eight in the morning, Magnus reflects and swallows the last of his now-cold macchiato.

He throws the cup in the garbage, and turns around to see a handful of students lingering, obviously aiming to talk to him before he leaves. He meets with all of them, speaking for a few minutes about questions over the lecture or clarifying comments on the midterm. Once it’s just him in the classroom, he picks up the few exams from students who had skipped and walks down the doorway and out into the New York sunshine.

Campus is definitely more lively now that’s it’s approaching midmorning and Magnus glances at his watch.

Only two more classes, a few student sessions, and a department meeting to go and then he’s done until Monday morning. Thank God. Magnus loves his job with all his heart, but he's tired as shit. Those two hours of sleep are catching up to him. He needs more caffeine or he's definitely going to fall asleep, listening to one of the junior professors ramble on a tangent for forty-five minutes about a topic that literally no one else in the department cares about. It's exhausting on the best of days and Magnus doesn't have the patience he usually possesses in spades to deal with imbecilic colleagues.

Magnus sits down at a cozy table and grabs a menu, quickly scanning through it. While this place is usually too busy to catch a table during lunch hours, most students try their best to get off campus and forget that they're even in college once Thursday night rolls around. The campus’ lunch hot spot, Basil's Cafe, is deserted this afternoon. It's just him, a student that looks either on the brink of discovery or abject failure, and a mother with two kids who are enthusiastically painting their table with ketchup.

Magnus can see the waitress walking over in his peripheral when a man flings himself down in the chair opposite him, looking broody even at a distance in his all black ensemble. At least it's designer, Magnus thinks, equal parts amused and curious as what could have warranted such a reaction.

“College students are stupid. All of them. They’re in college and don’t even know how to conjugate gustar? How the hell did they even get accepted into Columbia. Idiotas,” one of Magnus’s reluctantly favorite people mutters. Magnus just lazily looks up, pleasant expression pasted onto his face.

“Beats me, dear. At least your students know that Barack Obama was the president last year and not during the Treaty of Versailles in 1919.”

Raphael throws him a commiserating look before they’re both laughing. Magnus truly loves teaching, but damn if some of his students just don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground.

“I take it your midterms didn’t go well?”

Raphael scowls. “No. They didn’t. They had to write a short story in Spanish and someone wrote the Spot the Dog story.” He looks at Magnus, unimpressed. “You know the one. ‘Spot likes to play. Spot likes the color red.' I felt like a toddler and they still managed to have a grammatical mistake in almost every sentence.”

Magnus arches a brow. “Considering you’re the best Spanish linguist we have, things are dire indeed for our country's future.”

“They’re freshmen but they look twelve. When did we get so old,” Raphael sighs.

“Darling, speak for yourself. I’m a youthful twenty-nine and still feel like I’m twenty.”

Raphael doesn’t deign to reply and the waitress comes over a minute later to take their orders.

As she’s walking away, Raphael leans forward and gives Magnus a onceover. “What’s with you?”

Magnus just looks at him, expressionless. “Whatever do you mean?”

“You’re. . . glowing,” Raphael says in distaste.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’ve let me talk about how irritating my students can be with only minimal accusations about my teaching ability. You’re going easy on me and I want to know why.”

Magnus looks affronted, glaring at Raphael. “I’m sorry, just because I’m a good friend and let you rant suddenly means I’ve experienced a change of personality? Et tu, Brute?”

Raphael scoffs. “Oh, shut it. What is it? Did you get lucky last night?”

Magnus’s glare deepens. “No, I did not get lucky last night. I’m not the average teenage boy who’s only joy in life comes from sex.”

Raphael looks at him with narrowed eyes. “I’ve listened to you bemoan your life all week since you couldn’t go to Lightwood’s concert. You’ve been in a pit of despair and while it was disgusting to watch, this about-face is even more so.”

Magnus is quiet for a minute while he thinks. He could tell Raphael that he ran into Alec last night and the man wouldn’t tell a soul. But something about that diner interaction strikes Magnus as private and he’s not ready to let anyone else in about his midnight conversation.

He hums. “Well, I graded the freshmen’s exams and with the Obama exception, they all did moderately well. That must have boosted my spirits.”

Raphael mutters, “Whatever,” and their food arrives.

They eat mostly in silence, with the occasional observation or update. Thankfully, there are no more interrogations and the two go their separate ways with a promise to meet up Monday, same time, same place.

Magnus makes it through his afternoon, only rolling his eyes-- discretely of course-- half a dozen times during his departmental meeting. He will never understand why the administration schedules meetings to cover what could be mentioned in an email. In the footnote of an email. It’s a waste of time and leaves everyone annoyed.

He goes back to his office, leaving the door open, and sits down behind his desk. He’s sipping a tumbler of water and thinking about taking a break to mess around on his phone for a bit when someone knocks on his door.

Looking up, he smiles as a student hovers in the doorway.

“Julia, hello. How are you?”

Julia shyly smiles and takes a few hesitant steps into his office. “I’m okay, Dr. Bane. I just had a few questions about the exam you handed back today?”

Magnus keeps the smile on his face and gestures for her to take a seat in one of the chairs facing him. Julia is an excellent student but she’s painfully shy. He wants to make her feel as comfortable as possible as they discuss the midterm-- she’d received a sixty-three percent and he knows she can do better.

They spend the next forty five minutes going over her paper and she asks dozens of questions, from lecture notes to grading clarifications and Magnus is a little taken aback by her enthusiasm and quickness of learning. Reflecting as Julia takes a minute to write down an explanation he’d just given, Magnus knows he shouldn’t be surprised. Because she’s so shy, she refuses to ask any questions during class and so she got a little behind in material. But she’s intelligent as hell and now they have a game plan.

They set up a standing appointment every Friday afternoon for the rest of the semester to go over any questions she might have from the week’s class and Julia looks happier than he’s ever seen her. She leaves his office all smiles, and Magnus sits back in his chair, congratulating himself on a job well done. He finishes his work day answering emails and going over his outline for next week before he calls it a day.

Throwing on his jacket and sliding a few folders in his briefcase, Magnus leaves campus. The sun is still shining and his walk home is uneventful, for the most part. A woman dressed in a smart suit with peep-toe Louboutins if he's not mistaken--and he never is-- catches his eye at a crosswalk and smiles, obviously sending an invitation that Magnus turns down with a little internal sigh. He walks past her and barely feels a tinge of regret. He just wasn't into her, open invitation notwithstanding. It’s been awhile since he’s been in a relationship and even longer since he had a one night stand. The promotion has wreaked havoc with his social life and he knows he needs to get back on that horse soon.

He misses sex. He misses the intimacy that comes not just from mutual orgasms, but by living with someone every day and learning their little quirks that make them so interesting and irresistible.

All of a sudden, an image of hazel eyes that glint with wicked wit and are set in a devilishly handsome face pops into his mind and he laughs a little, rueful. Down boy, he thinks. The chances of him ever meeting Alec again are rare. It had been a minor miracle that they’d ran into each other not once, but twice, yesterday. He’s not so lucky that a spontaneous meeting would happen a third time. Fate is not his friend and he doesn't see that changing anytime soon.

He puts Alexander in a little compartment, shuts it up tight, and continues his walk home.

#HttBT #my writing #malec #malec fic #malec fic rec #I wrote in Magnus's POV for an entire chapter!#I hope this isn't awful lol #HTTBT tag

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mavwrekmarketing · 7 years

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Image copyright Epic

Image caption Zara Larsson’s hits include Lush Life, Never Forget You and Ain’t My Fault

In Sweden, she’s been a star since she was 10 – but Zara Larsson has her eyes set on global domination.

Aged just 19, the star has racked up seven hits in the last 14 months, including the tropical pop smash Lush Life, which spent more than a year on the charts.

Along the way, she’s collaborated with Tinie Tempah and sung the official anthem of Euro 2016, but the highlight of her year was supporting Beyonce at Wembley Stadium.

“It was the best show on a tour I’ve ever seen. Wembley’s such an incredible stadium. It’s definitely one of the stadiums I want to stand on and have my own tour, one day.”

Although she’s already scored a number one single and album in her home country, Zara is starting from scratch in the UK – and releases her debut album, So Good, this week.

Outgoing and dynamic, she talked the BBC through her career to date. Here’s everything you need to know (and a few things you probably didn’t) about Sweden’s latest pop sensation.

She suffers from sleep paralysis

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption The star first revealed her condition in 2015

Writing on her Swedish-language website two years ago, the 19-year-old revealed she frequently has episodes of sleep paralysis.

“Oh my God, it’s scary!” she tells the BBC. “Basically, you wake up and you literally cannot move. Your brain is active, but your body is not yet awake.

“It’s weird. It lasts half a minute maybe – but it kind of feels like you’re trapped there for half an hour.

“I get it a lot when I’m stressed out, or when I have a lot of things going on.”

But Zara says there’s an upside, too. Often, as she falls asleep, she’s overcome by a sense of tremendous wellbeing (to paraphrase a certain Blur song).

“It’s like a wave comes over me. Energy is just vibrating through your body and it’s awesome.”

She’s shaken off her talent show past

Image copyright TV4

In 2008, Zara entered Talang Sverige – Sweden’s version of Britain’s Got Talent – mainly because there was no age restriction, unlike X Factor or Swedish Idol.

Singing a heavily-accented, but vocally powerful, version of Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On, she won the contest, and its 500,000 krona (42,600) prize.

“I sounded like a little guinea pig!” she laughs. But, incredibly, the contest led to nothing.

“Nobody really wanted to sign me, which I was devastated about,” she says. “I was like, ‘oh my gosh, my career’s over and it hasn’t even started yet!’

“I didn’t really want to do anything with Nickelodeon or Disney, so I just went back to school.”

The break may have saved her. Rather than becoming novelty act, washed up before she was a teenager, Zara re-emerged as a bona fide pop artist on her 15th birthday, with an EP that turned people’s heads.

“When I released the first song, a lot of the people didn’t even recognise me,” she says. “And the people that did were like, ‘Oh my gosh, it’s her!’

“So in Sweden, the talent show is like super-irrelevant. And that’s great because usually it’s very hard to wipe off that kind of Got Talent stain.

“It just stays on you – but it didn’t for me.”

She doesn’t listen to other bands at festivals

Media captionZara Larsson plays ‘So Good’ or ‘So Bad’

…As we discovered when we played a game of “So Good or So Bad?” with Zara (watch above)

People think she sounds like Rihanna

Image copyright Getty Images

When Zara released Lush Life in January last year, a lot of people thought it was Rihanna’s comeback single.

“I don’t know where it comes from but even my mom is like, ‘You sound like Rihanna,'” says the singer.

“I was very confused because I’d never really listened to her until pretty recently. It’s not a bad comparison to have but I’m never going to be Rihanna, and I’m not trying to be.

Don’t expect her to hold back on social media

From the moment Zara fired up her Instagram, pulled a condom over her leg and called out guys who “think they’re too big to wear protection”, it was clear Zara wouldn’t be sticking to the record company script.

Since then, she’s voiced her support for Kesha – who is suing famed record producer Dr Luke for alleged sexual assault – and engaged in a war of words with R&B star Chris Brown, calling him “a sexist, homophobic, transphobic trash”.

“That’s who I am,” says the star. “I don’t really have a ‘vision’ of who I want people to see me as.

“I just post whatever I feel like.”

Her dad could have you killed (probably)

Image copyright Zara Larsson / Instagram

Image caption Zara and her father in earlier times…

Larsson was born in Stockholm at the tail end of the 1990s, moving to the suburbs when her younger sister Hanna was born.

She was always singing – showing off to her parents’ dinner-party guests; and serenading “ladies on the subway, when I was like three”.

But she didn’t come from a musical family. Far from it.

“My dad was a military man, working in Navy intelligence,” she says, “so I know he can keep secrets, definitely.”

While the exact nature of his job remains classified, Larsson swears he was the model parent.

“He’s great and he’s funny. You can ask him whatever and he always has the answer. Even if he doesn’t, he will never admit it. So we had a lot of debates and discussions. That’s the reason why I’m interested in everything.

“Now he’s actually studying again – he wants to be a professor in war science.”

Potential boyfriends beware.

She won’t sing lyrics that disrespect women

Image copyright Sasha Haagensen

Image caption The star says “if you’re not a feminist, then you must be sexist”

Zara’s breakout hit in the UK was Never Forget You – a duet with British producer MNEK that was written in just two hours.

“We work really well together,” she marvels. “It’s just no question marks. I feel very relaxed and honest and open with him. “

The collaborated again on Ain’t My Fault, a sassy, sexy club track that became Zara’s fifth top 20 hit, late last year.

“We wrote it in five minutes,” says Zara, “Originally, it was about me stealing someone else’s man. I was saying, ‘It ain’t my fault that you’re not cute enough for him.'”

But after submitting the song to her record label, the singer had second thoughts.

“I was just like, ‘Wait, hold up, I can’t sing this’. It just didn’t feel right. It felt like I’d broken the girl code, and I didn’t want to do that.”

Exercise is not her friend

Image copyright Getty Images

As a child, Zara attended the Royal Swedish Ballet School.

“I was very flexible,” she says. “It really taught me a lot about discipline and how to use my body. But these days I’m about as flexible as a erm, a safe!”

In fact, she’s so out of shape that a brief session with her personal trainer ended in disaster.

“I ran 200 metres and my trainer said, ‘That was a great job, you ran pretty fast’.

“I said, ‘I know!’ so he told me to do it a second time. And when I came back, I threw up.”

Her goal is to keep improving

Image copyright Zara Larsson / Tumblr

Image caption Zara met her idol in 2014 – and promptly burst into tears

“I’m on my way to becoming a true performer,” the star wrote shortly after singing Lush Life on The Voice UK last year. So, does she not consider herself a fully-qualified pop phenomenon yet?

“You’re never finished,” she says.

“My inspiration for performing is Beyonce. I don’t think Beyonce ever wakes up and thinks, ‘Oh great I’m Beyonce, I’m just going to chill today.’

“She wants to be better, she wants to do bigger things and she wants to keep on evolving.

“That’s what makes her great, and that’s what I want to do.”

Zara Larsson’s album, So Good, is out now on Epic Records; as is her collaboration with Clean Bandit, Symphony. She also plays the Isle of Wight Festival in June.

Follow us on Facebook, on Twitter @BBCNewsEnts, or on Instagram at bbcnewsents. If you have a story suggestion email [email protected].