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#I don't feel the disagreement as deeply
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Hi I really enjoyed your Matty Healy discourse and I’d love to hear your thoughts on this
https://twitter.com/redd3v1ls/status/1682748118553755648
Before I respond to the views at the tweets - I feel like I should say what I do think. Matty Healy has basically the same politics of Harry Styles, except he's strongly drawn to people being angry at him rather than strongly afraid of it. I think it's the sort of political action that I'd expect with someone who has that sort of analysis and also deeply held beliefs (and basic drive). It's a more committed version of waving a flag on stage (which I also don't put that much weight on).
I totally understand the guy who talks about being pissed off that Matty Healy is framed as a hero in the video. And absolutely I understand mocking, being sceptical, or hostile to framing
But I have a fundamental political disagreement with I think everyone in that thread. A core tenant of my belief is that people are not responsible for state repression. People defying state repression are not responsible for that repression. Even if they're outsiders. Even if they're fucking around. Even if they're annoying, full of themselves, dickheads. I believe if you're going to do any politics that has any chance of changing anything - then you have to hold to that basic principle. I get that it can be incredibly tempting (and I am speaking from intense experience here), but as an absolute core principle of useful politics and solidarity - you cannot indulge in that temptation.
One of the things that I feel like is being revealed in this whole discourse - is how easy it is to spread reactionary ideas in the current moment - if you use certain tropes to make it seem progressive. In particular if you define privilege on an individual basis - then you can use that dynamic to advance regressive ideas. The idea that people are responsible for the oppression of the state is an incredibly regressive one - that actively corrodes solidarity and increases state power.
And I understand that a lot of people do believe that other people are responsible for state repression. I understand that that's an idea that is inculcated and spread exactly for the same reasons that I oppose it. I cannot agree with an argument that blames other people for state repression - and given you asked specifically about what I thought I'm going to say that. But I think there are other ways you can be cognizant about what people were saying - even if you don't agree with the arguments they're saying. For example, I think it's a good sign that if anyone was valorising the 1975's action they are centering their own beliefs and reactions.
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rawliverandgoronspice · 10 months
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Actually, sorry, I still don't see why TOTK is imperialistic. The imperialistic one does seem to be Ganon in his greed to conquer. I'm not saying I doubt your argumentsz just... Could you help me understand that?
Hey, yes! No problem at all. If that's okay with you, I'll compile my arguments in a series of links where I reply to previous asks.
Again, I want to reiterate that I don't think what we see in-game is secretely an imperialistic story about Rauru being a bad guy. We can speculate all we want, but there is no evidence in-world for Ganondorf to be anything other than a horrible baddie. My point is not that Ganondorf is secretely misunderstood in TotK, but that I believe Nintendo should have constructed its storytelling in a way that avoided falling into very loaded narrative patterns with real-life imperialistic echoes, and I am criticizing that they didn't try to deliver a version of Hyrule that gracefully accepted its own history, its influence over the world and its inherent moral grayness, instead of nervously scrubbing itself of substance out of fear of its own legacy.
This is the big one, that addresses the game's framing and why I think TotK's version of Hyrule parallels imperialist narrative movements.
This one talks about my problem with Rauru's character writing and what doesn't land for me.
This one is about why I don't think Nintendo is cackling about that good imperialist story they did, that it was probably accidental but still worth mentioning.
And this one, which I assume is the previous ask you sent me, adresses why I think saying that the zonais (and Sonia) are also PoC-coded kind of misses the point in my opinion.
Hope this clarifies my argument! I feel like, as the conversation matures in the fandom, this specific position (not talking for anyone else but me here) is getting kind of warped into something that it's not, or being conflated with the way people are creatively invested in the characters, which, while I certainly won't deny one obviously feeds off the other as far as I'm concerned*, are two separate things.
Again, it's completely fine to disagree! Or to agree and not be put off (everyone stop feeling guilty over the rare joy we manage to catch mid-flight --we can critique media without demanding people to Feel Bad as a result of the conclusions): it's a really fun game and I did play over a hundred hours! But I think the conversation is at least worth considering in a way that isn't caricatured as its weaker arguements.
*(to be very transparent so my own position is crystal clear, and it helps people making up their own mind: Ganondorf touches me as a character because of the way he inherently tries to fight against the limitations Hyrule/The Goddesses/the fiction itself try to force upon him --to devastating and unproductive results-- so the more his own canon tries to flatten him and the more poignant his character becomes to me. Won't deny that! It's this exact realization that made me spiral into hyperfocus to begin with --I am deeply touched by themes of tragic ambition and the impossibility of meaningful rebellion while STILL willingly burning everything down for the sake of refusing your place in the universe, even when the only thing accomplished by the end was the unflinching expression of your agency as well as General Suffering. So of course he would just catch me by the throat like that, that bastard. That being said, I don't think TotK Ganondorf (or any Ganondorf tbh) is a poor little meow meow, especially not in this game's canon where he is *obviously* nothing more than a threat to be stumped and doesn't ever meaningfully oppose you ideologically, which is kind of my problem. Even OoT Ganondorf, simplistic as he may be, questions Hyrule's inherent stability, inevitability and glory in many, many ways. Here's another, final post about why I liked the gerudos better in OoT despite All of The Problems, that partially addresses this exact point!)
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sskk-manifesto · 3 months
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Osamu Dazai and the Depressing Era
#I have so many thoughts through my mind these days I was barely able to focus on the episode. I kept zoning out#I made barely any post#Okay some thoughts. The thing that really hit me since the first time watching b/sd... Is the–#“I don't kill people because I want to write about lives” “I start doing good because my friend asked me to”#Like I get grey morals and everything but also. Sorry for being so simplistic but I think everyone should do good / not kill people–#because killing people is bad lol. No because of other personal reasons#I really *really* feel b/sd ultimately has a very nihilistic approach to life.#And that when Oda said “You won't find a reason to live whether side you're on. Both sides are the same.” it's not Oda-character talking–#but it's really the author expressing their own worldview through the one character that's the most distinguished#They really think there's no difference between good and bad in their little nihilistic world.#Which is something I personally don't agree with.#“It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it”#......... No it's not you just need to go to the shore and listen to the waves crush and the seagulls squeal dude. It's going to be okay.#That's why it's so easy to portray Dazai as perfect and flawless for the author btw.#Because nothing he ever did in the pm was wrong if “good” and “bad” don't mean anything to begin with.#And this is coming from a deeply relativist person. But I believe even grey morals have a limit.#Thus my general disagreement with most b/sd themes#I don't know why I went off this tangent btw I didn't intend to.#I suppose it bears repeating once in a while where I stand compared to the b/sd themes and my personal interpretation of them#(Even though I acknowledge most people don't agree with such interpretation... )#There were other things regarding the episode I needed to say but I forgot...#One of them was that season 2 Dark Era proves that even amv openings can actually be good if you put enough budget in them#Which makes me even more pissed at the season 3 / season 5 ops#random rambles
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eats-the-stars · 5 months
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I feel like there are roughly two kinds of "painfully weird kid" that you can be during your K-12 school years. the first is your "I am trying so hard to be normal but I just cannot seem to hit the mark. there's just something wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it" and the second is the category I was in, which is your "everyone around me is so incredibly weird but they obviously can't help it so I will just have to accept this."
#being a deeply weird kid in school was definitely an experience#i feel like it's also heightened when you attend a private catholic school#there are just so many more layers of 'oh wow so this is...a thing' to deal with#like i honestly think the shit that private catholic schools do to a kid's head is worse for the normal kids#i was already at a point where i just accepted that my personal perspective of the world was radically different#and you really weren't going to convince me to start loving denim or perfume or makeup#so trying to get me to feel a bunch of religious guilt was also not going to work#i just added it to the long list of things that are important to most ppl that i just don't give a shit about and moved on#honestly being autistic in a private catholic school put me in a much better spot than a normal catholic student#the teachers would say something absolutely batshit insane#like telling us that 'mentally disabled' kids get a free pass to heaven because they have no original sin just like animals#(if u know ur catholic shit u can imagine the multiple layers of 'but wait!' involved in this statement but anyway)#and your normal catholic student would be like 'what?! for real! oh my gosh...but are you sure? oh you are. well...i guess it's true then..#whereas i would be sitting there like 'wow that is...a wild thing to believe. also u were staring at me for that whole speech so...'#like yeah i did get involved in the heated debates because it was hella fun#but in hindsight it would be really fucked up to be an actual catholic kid in that school because jesus christ...#a lot of our teachers even had strong disagreements over belief shit and would make us all take sides#so it wasn't even like unanimous weird stuff pumped at us. it was like conflicting weird stuff#one intense divide i recall was the simple but highly controversial 'do animals go to heaven?' debate#most said 'yes' with or without conditions#one teacher said 'yes and also disabled kids' which was fucked up and definitely directed at me whenever i was in the room#like some kind of fucked up 'it's okay because you'll get a better life in the afterlife sweetie' kind of thing#while others were like 'ANIMALS? in my heaven? I think not! what did they even do to earn it?! nothing!'#students tended to also be very invested and distressed by the thought of no family pets in heaven#but also very conflicted based on the facts being presented by both sides and also which teacher was their favorite so...
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appocalipse · 2 months
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heyy if ur taking requests could u maybe do like bestfriends steve + reader where steve, eddie, nancy and robin have to pick up reader from a party and she’s like REAL drunk and just idk super clingy w steve and doesn’t wanna not be touching him. maybe eddie, nancy and robin all make fun of him for it but they acc find it rly cute.
thank you for your request! ♥♥♥ | 2.2k words
"Stevie!"
You collide into him suddenly, nearly knocking him back a step or two with the force of your momentum; there's a smile on Steve's face when you look up at him through eyes that are more than a little hazy with inebriation. You're drunk. Probably way past drunk, if the way the world won't seem to hold still is anything to go by, but you don't care. There are other things vying for your attention—like how warm he feels against you, how safe he makes you feel, how pretty he looks from up close...
"Whoa," Steve says as you lean even further into him and loop your arms around his waist in a tight hug. "How much did you have to drink, exactly?"
He doesn't mean it in a mean way, which is why you grin up at him from where you've got your cheek pressed firmly to his chest. You can feel his heart beating under the palm of your hand now, a steady and calming rhythm that soothes something inside of you.
"Dunno," you reply, grinning stupidly when you catch sight of maybe three copies of Eddie Munson standing off to Steve's left; all of them have identical amused looks on their faces. "Might've had, like, a couple..."
Steve sighs deeply, though there's no exasperation or disappointment to be found in his expression when he tilts your face upwards to look you over properly. You just beam dopily at him, because he's so pretty right now you don't know what else to do.
"Dude," Eddie speaks up, drawing Steve's gaze away from you while your own attention goes back to pressing yourself even more snugly into him, "she is totally sloshed."
You frown, shaking your head in fervent disagreement.
"Am not!"
"Sure you aren't, sweetheart," Eddie agrees placidly, but you get the impression he doesn't really mean it.
Before you can point this out, however, the blurry shape of Robin Buckley steps forward. The room is dark with flashing strobe lights and smoky with incense and cigarette smoke, but you'd recognize her voice anywhere.
"Who let you drink this much?" Robin asks as she lifts a hand up to brush some hair back from your forehead.
It's oddly soothing and so you lean into the contact with a happy hum. Robin and the others laugh — but then again, it sounds kinder than mean, the kind of laugh that bubbles up when you find something unexpectedly endearing, and so you don't mind as much as you maybe should.
"Nobody," you mumble as you press your face into the side of Steve's neck and take a deep breath in; his scent is the same as always, earthy and warm with an underlying hint of that stupid spray he likes to use sometimes. "I'm here alone. 'Cause Steve here blew me off for you guys, but that's okay," you say, even though, to be fair, it sort of isn't true — he didn't blow you off.
"Hey," Steve starts, sounding half-indignant and half-apologetic all at once. He's got an arm around your shoulder now, supporting you and keeping you upright, which makes you want to tangle yourself up in him completely. "You didn't tell me you wanted me to come hang out with you tonight!"
You sigh mournfully against his skin, feeling wistful all of a sudden. It's true. You hadn't told him. That was partially due to the fact that you had been trying to prove to yourself that you weren't so desperately and helplessly infatuated with him that you needed his presence constantly, but that plan had obviously backfired on you spectacularly.
"No," you mutter unhappily as Steve moves the two of you towards a nearby couch. "But I missed you. Don't wanna miss you."
Nancy, Robin, and Eddie, who are watching the two of you with expressions of varying degrees of amusement, exchange looks. Steve pretends not to notice, probably because he knows he won't like what they have to say if he hears it, and instead guides you down onto the cushions next to him. "You're drunk."
"You're pretty," you reply without hesitation, even though you're very clearly changing the subject. "It's unfair, y'know?"
You hear Robin snort, followed by a quiet thud like someone's just been slapped on the arm, and you know it's her who laughed, and that it must have been Nancy who'd shut her up. You don't know where Eddie is; you're not even sure when he wandered off, to be honest. You're too focused on Steve and the way his face looks under the colorful flashing lights.
"Oh yeah?" he asks, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling too widely at your comment. His eyes are bright with laughter when you meet his gaze and nod confidently. "How do I get 'unfair', exactly?"
"'S all in the face," you say matter-of-factly, your own fingers trailing down his cheek in an almost absentminded gesture. "Kinda makes it hard to think about anything else sometimes, if I'm being real here. Like, it's not really fair, 'cause then what are we supposed to talk about? Oh, oh—and then there's your hair!"
"My hair?"
Robin wheezes somewhere behind you, which would have made you giggle if you were still paying attention to the people in the room besides Steve, but you're not.
"Mmhmm," you hum, your eyes running over the soft brown locks on top of his head. "Love it. Wanna touch it all the time. Y'see, Steve? You see? This is why it's not fair at all. And, and—" you trail off here for dramatic effect, squinting at him theatrically before leaning closer with your hand cupped to the side of your mouth, as if you're about to share something private. "—the way you make my insides feel? So, so unfair. Totally your fault, buddy."
"Wha-" Steve croaks out, looking alarmed and caught off guard by your drunken confession. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh," you regain your serious tone, frowning at him in a somewhat bemused manner when he continues to gape at you. "Not 'sposed to tell you. S'not the rules."
Eddie barks out a laugh somewhere off to your left, but Steve ignores him. "Rules?"
"Yeah, 's against the rules, dummy," you say, like he should've already known that. "Gotta follow the rules! Duh. Steve."
"Yeah, Steve, duh," Robin pipes up, earning herself a glare from Steve as well as a smirk from Eddie. "Oops, sorry. Please, continue."
"Can I touch your hair? Like, please, 'cause I might die if I don't, 'kay? If that's okay. Gotta test the theory. Just a little bit, though." You can tell by his expression that he wants to laugh, and that he's also mildly worried that you've lost your mind. "Please?"
Robin, Eddie and Nancy have their hands clapped over their mouths to contain their laughter. You're too drunk to notice, but Steve narrows his eyes at them in warning. "Yes," he says. "Just—yeah, go ahead."
With a little noise of excitement, you reach out to card your fingers through his hair. He smells really good — like clean laundry and fresh pine trees — and the feel of his hair in your palm is exactly what you had imagined, though you're loathe to pull your hand away now that you've felt it.
Steve goes unnaturally still as you press your face into the juncture between his neck and shoulder, a move he should have expected but didn't, and you sigh happily when the scent of his cologne hits you full force. He's like a living, breathing, cuddly teddy bear, you think, a combination of warmth, softness, and comfort all rolled up in one gorgeous, handsome, unobtainable package.
"You're warm," you mumble, feeling like you could fall asleep right now. "So, so warm. 'S like you've got a space heater in your chest, 'n that's like, so awesome."
He blinks a few times, momentarily speechless as he tries to come to terms with the fact that you are, in fact, drunk enough to be saying whatever the hell comes to your mind. "Uh, thanks?"
"Smell nice too," you murmur, hugging him tighter to you. "Like, wow. Love your hair, like, love love."
His cheeks are burning hot now, his heart beating erratically in his chest when he notices Eddie staring at the two of you with a knowing gleam in his eye. "That's—thank you, but, hey, come on now," Steve says, his voice faltering a little. "Let's get you home, okay?"
"I don't wanna."
"Don't you wanna sleep in your bed?"
You pause, considering his words, and eventually concede that, yes, your bed does sound lovely right about now, so you give him a brief nod in response. "I guess, but can you come too?"
He chokes on air, but manages to play it off by clearing his throat. "What—to your bed? No!"
"Why not?"
Steve shifts a little under your intense, alcohol-addled scrutiny; he feels strangely guilty, as though he's letting you down by saying no. "Because you're drunk?" he says, feeling flustered and unreasonably nervous all of a sudden.
You scrunch up your face in a pout. "Oh, that's a dumb reason."
Steve chuckles and you sigh happily again, because you love his laugh and everything else about him, and he seems to realize this, given the way his expression softens. "Come on, you drunkard. Let's go home," he says gently, tugging on your arm in an attempt to get you to stand.
You resist at first, shaking your head stubbornly as you hold onto him. "Can't. My legs don't work anymore. They're all wobbly."
Steve closes his eyes for a moment, huffs out a soft laugh, and you can't help but grin up at him. He's so pretty that, like, how is that even allowed? How can you be around him and not spontaneously combust or something?
"Well, what if I carried you?"
"Like a princess?"
Steve looks at you with an expression you can't decipher — it's halfway between incredulous and endeared, and it makes your heart feel too big for your rib cage.
"How romantic," Nancy observes.
"So long as she doesn't throw up on him," Eddie adds, nodding sagely in agreement.
"Oh, I hope she does," Robin says, with a devious smile, "he'd deserve it for being such a coward."
"I'm...right here, guys, and I can still hear you." Steve finally says, throwing them a scathing look that only makes them laugh. "If you're not going to be helpful, you can wait in the car."
"As if," Eddie counters.
Steve opens his mouth to tell him where exactly he can stick his opinions, when you grab the front of his shirt and drag him closer.
"Steve," you say, the smile falling from your face as a sudden thought occurs to you. "Are you mad at me? Because I can go home by myself. That's okay."
"Hey, no," he replies softly, "I'm not mad at you, sweetheart. Not ever."
"'Sweetheart'? Really?" Eddie mutters to Nancy, who elbows him in the ribs when he doesn't lower his voice in time. "Ow, okay, okay—just saying. Don't want them to keep dancing around each other forever, is all."
"I'm not dancing," you tell him, completely unaware of Eddie's snickering, "I don't have any shoes on, Eddie. Wouldn't be able to dance without shoes on. Silly."
"My bad," Eddie says, his lips twitching with badly concealed laughter, "forgive me."
Steve scowls at him before turning his attention back to you, his face so close to yours that you can momentarily feel the tickle of his breath against your skin. "Okay, come on," he says, "up we go."
And then, in one swift movement, he slides his arm under your knees and scoops you up into his arms. You let out a squeak of surprise and automatically wrap your arms around his neck to steady yourself.
"Oh, oh, oh," you say excitedly, "you really are gonna carry me."
"Told you so." Steve adjusts his grip on you and makes his way towards the exit. "Are you good? Am I hurting you?"
You shake your head slowly, grinning as you stare at him from a whole new angle. "No," you tell him, feeling much more awake than you were moments before. "This is...this is like, actually kinda cool."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," you repeat, smiling shyly back at him. "Feel like a real life Cinderella now. Whoa, you're, like, super strong."
"Yeah, Stevie, you're 'super strong.'" Eddie teases, waggling his eyebrows when Steve sends him a quick glare. "Aw, don't look at me like that. It's cute. The two of you."
Nancy doesn't tease like Robin and Eddie do. She walks behind Steve, making sure to stay a couple steps behind to give the two of you some privacy. Even so, when you look over your shoulder to make sure nobody's listening, she gives you a wink and a small thumbs-up that makes you smile.
The parking lot is filled with teenagers all wandering aimlessly in groups, so it takes Steve a while to navigate his way through the crowd. By the time he finds the spot where he parked his BMW, you've grown drowsy enough to rest your head on his shoulder.
Eddie immediately pops open the door to the backseat, slapping it a few times as he looks over at Steve and grins. "Hurry it up, lover boy," he drawls out, "she looks half-asleep already."
"She's fine," Steve shoots back, frowning in annoyance when Eddie and Robin both pretend to yawn exaggeratedly, "shut up. I hate you guys."
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strawnarrries · 8 months
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We Fight, We Make Up
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Summary: Harry gets turned on when you yell at him.
Requested: Nope
POV: 2nd
Word count: 3.4k
Warning(s): Unprotected sex, slight degradation, slight spanking
The argument happened before the night even started. You didn't even wanna go. You wanted to stay in the hotel with your husband. Alone. Without having to share him with anyone else. Recently, you have been missing him. Yes, you see him every day and fall asleep with him every night; but you felt like you had to share him with the entire world. When he wasn't on stage in front of his thousands of fans, he was either at the gym or working with his team, writing new songs, and talking about new plans.
Tonight was one of his rare nights off and of course, he and his team wanted to go out. He wanted you to go with him and you did, but you were grumpy from the moment he brought it up to the moment you're at with him now.
You were arguing while you got ready. Harry didn't understand where you were coming from. You were on tour with him. You were with him every day, went everywhere that he went, and got to sleep next to him every night. He thought you were being a bit needy and selfish. He didn't say that to you of course, but he definitely voiced that he thought you were being irrational.
Once you had met everyone in the hotel lobby, you both put on your brave faces, not wanting to draw any attention to your problems. You tried to forget about your current struggles and have fun while you could. Neither of you drank that much. You just were not in the mood and Harry had a show the next day. It was only occasional that he would drink while on tour, but never when he had a show the next day.
Once the night was over, the argument continued.
"Y/N, baby, I dunno what you want me to do. We're on tour, this is my work. I can't spend every second with you."
"Oh my god, Harry. You know I'm not asking you to spend every second with me. I just want some alone time with you. I told you I feel like I have to share you with everyone and never get any time just you and me."
"But we do get alone time. We got a whole room to ourselves. I give you a cuddle while we fall asleep every night. Why is that not enough?"
"It's not about being enough. It's about me feeling like you're not prioritizing me or wanting to spend any time with me."
"This is the first tour that you've been able to come with me for every show. This is what it's like. I don't get alone time. This is my job. I can't just drop it all to spend time with you."
You were starting to get angry, "You don't work every hour of the day! Tonight - I told you beforehand that I didn't wanna go and I wanted to stay here with you but you wanted to go out instead."
"Well, yeah because I've got a night off and wanted to have fun with everyone."
"Exactly! Everyone. You didn't wanna spend time with me. You spend time with them every fucking day and the one day you have off you choose to be with them."
"Y/N, you-" he started before you cut him off, your voice raising in frustration, "Harry, you're my fucking husband! I shouldn't have to beg you to spend time with just me!"
All of a sudden, a cheeky, slightly evil smirk arose on his lips and his eyes scanned your body up and down. It was very rare that you got angry when you argue with him, you usually just get really sad. Your disagreements are usually quiet and filled with tears. It was your least favorite thing to do. You hated having serious conversations with Harry and couldn't help but cry when they happened. Harry was a sympathetic cryer so when you cried, he cried. In the 10 years that you and Harry have been together, you only yelled at him in an argument probably 4 times. So, he found this moment quite amusing.
"Why the fuck are you laughing?"
"I'm not," he chuckled looking up at your angry eyes.
He kept that smirk on his lips as he stared at you deeply, your blood beginning to boil as a breathy giggle left his lips.
"Oh my god, I'm so sick of this," you snapped, turning around and getting ready to storm into the bathroom.
"Y/N, stop."
He was quick to grab your arm, pulling him into you and wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you from running from him. Placing both hands on his hips, you glared up at him, "What?"
He didn't reply, his eyes bore into yours while he was pushing your hips against his, jutting his out to show you exactly what he was feeling. You could feel his tight bulge straining in his slacks against your pelvis and you could not believe what was happening.
"You're hard?" you replied as your lips mindlessly curved up in amusement, "Why?"
"Dunno, you rarely yell at me when we argue. It's kinda sexy," he replied, his voice slow and deep.
"What?" You were the one laughing now, "You're not supposed to get turned on. You're supposed to get pissed at me."
"I am pissed at you. But you're fuckin' cute when you get angry." He looked you up and down once more before adding, "Might be this outfit too."
"Oh my gosh, I wanna be mad at you so bad because of this but I'm really amused."
"Are we about to have angry sex?"
You didn't even answer him. You immediately pulled him down by the back of his neck and attacked his lips with yours. He kissed you back, moving in sync with you. His tongue caressed your lips, tasting you as you backed him up against the edge of the bed. The backs of his knees hit the mattress and he immediately sat down, pulling you with him. Pulling your dress up past your hips so you could spread your legs, you straddled his lap. His hands immediately went to your ass, cupping and squeezing it.
You continued to kiss him, making out like you were teenagers. Your kisses were fast and sloppy, your panties dampening as you ground your hips against his center. You ran your fingers through his dark hair, tugging at the soft strands gently. You felt your clit throbbing in anticipation and you knew you couldn't wait too long before he filled you up.
Your hands frantically slid down his body, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. You had been so upset with him, you had overlooked how good he looked tonight. He wore a white button-up, only having the bottom two buttons tied together to show off his tanned, tattooed chest. He paired it with a pair of black slack pants and white loafers that he had slipped off the moment you got back to your room. He had his famous cross and phallic banana necklaces on and had rings lined on almost every one of his fingers.
You slid his top off of his shoulders and tossed it carelessly onto the floor. His glistening skin and dark tattoos were now on full display for you. You ran your fingernails across his body, feeling every inch of his torso that you could reach. You continued to grind your center against his, circling your hips so his bulge rubbed perfectly against your clothed clit.
"I want you so bad," he breathed out and you hummed against his lips in agreement.
His fingertips grabbed onto the hem of your silky dress and pulled it up over your head, tossing it with his shirt. Your lips only parted to pull the dress off, immediately attaching again once you were exposed to him. His hands reached behind your back and unclasped your strapless bra with ease, letting it fall onto your lap. After grabbing it and tossing it, his hands cupped both breasts and kneaded them harshly.
His kisses trailed down your jaw to your neck, kissing, nipping, and sucking at all your sweet spots. You let your head fall to the side to give him more access and hummed in satisfaction. His lips trailed even further down until they latched onto your right breast. He sucked at your nipple, hand still kneading your left one. Flicking his tongue back and forth against your bud, your back arched into him. Nibbling on it, you whimpered and he pulled away, giving your other breast the same amount of attention.
Returning back to your lips, he tugged on the band of your panties, acknowledging that he wanted them off. You stood up in between his legs and pulled your panties down your legs, letting them pool at your feet. While you did that, he unbuttoned the button on his pants, lifted his hips, pushed them down his thighs, and pulled them off his legs.
Both of you were now completely naked and exposed to each other. You straddled his lap again and he reached down between your bodies, sliding his fingers between your folds to feel your wetness. He groaned softly as his middle finger and ring finger slipped past your opening with ease. You mimicked his moan when his fingers began to move in and out of you, the coldness of his peace ring and his pearl ring sending chills up your spine.
"Jesus, Y/N, I'm so fuckin' horny right now," he groaned desperately.
"I need you inside me," you whimpered into his ear, equally as desperate, "right now, Harry, please."
"C'mere," he hummed.
Pulling his fingers out of you, he wrapped his arms around you and stood up. Turning around, he laid you down on the sheets with your hips at the edge of the bed while standing in between your spread legs. He grasped onto both of your ankles and hooked them around his shoulders. Wrapping his right palm around his member, he wasted no time and immediately positioned his swollen tip at your entrance, sliding in while he hovered over you. You both let out moans at the euphoric feeling of him filling you up. He stilled inside of you, allowing you a minute to adjust to his size. His forehead rested against yours and he grunted softly when he felt you clench around him.
Leaning back up, he grabbed onto each of your thighs to ground you. Not holding anything back, he began thrusting in and out of you at a fast pace. He knew your body like the back of his hand. Knew every single one of your sweet spots and every single movement that made you putty in his hands.
His thighs slapped against yours and your breasts bobbed with each hard thrust of his hips. Your orgasm was quickly starting to grow closer and you found yourself clenching around him each time his tip brushed up against your good spot. Your face contorted with pleasure and you tightly gripped the sheets below you.
"Oh fuck," you whimpered softly, "Harry, yes!"
"Is this what you wanted?" he grunted in between stagged breaths, "Just wanted me to fuck you like this?"
His fingertips dug into the skin of your thighs, most likely leaving marks for you to complain about the next morning. The bed squeaked under you and you knew the backs of your thighs were quickly turning bright red with the repetitive slapping. It was purely a pornographic scene and you were in complete and utter bliss.
"Answer me."
"Yes, yes," you chanted, "I needed this so bad. Needed you, Harry."
Lifting your head slightly, you looked down and watched as he disappeared in and out of you. He was slick with you, sparkling against the light in the room. You could physically hear how wet you are for him. His movements intensify that sound with each thrust. You let your head fall back down to the bed and look up at him. He's looking down between your bodies, watching what you were just watching. His eyebrows were furrowed together and his jaw hung slack as he breathed irregularly.
You watched as his muscles clenched with each thrust, a sheen layer of sweat beginning to form on his skin, glittering his tattoos. You let your eyes squeeze shut as the pleasure grew. You felt his left hand leave your thigh and immediately grasp onto your breast, squeezing it and allowing his thumb and pointer finger to pinch at your nipples.
Without warning, he wrapped his hands around your sides and flipped you over so you were on your belly. He tapped your hip gently, acknowledging you to sit up. Resting your elbows on the sheets to support your body, you stuck your ass up in the air for him, leaning back and pressing into him. He positioned at your entrance again and started back up where he had left off.
The sound of his skin slapping and your wetness continued to echo loudly throughout the room and if he wasn't making you feel so damn good right now, you would be worried about people outside the room hearing.
"Talk to me. This is exactly what you fuckin' wanted so tell me how good I'm making you feel."
"No," you whimpered, trying to get a rise out of him, "you don't love me anymore."
"Say that one more time and I'll spank you 'till you cry," he grunted.
You grinned at his words. You knew he wouldn't actually spank you until you cried, but you wanted to challenge him, "I'm not wrong."
His hand swatted at the fullest part of your ass and you squealed at the slight sting, his rings he never took off intensifying that sting. He never spanked you super hard, just enough to get you to straighten up when you were being sassy with him.
"Wanna try me again?"
"You never give me attention anymore."
Another spank landed across your ass and you moaned, his hand massaging the area to soothe the sting, "You're such a brat. You're asking for it now, aren't you?"
After one more smack against your skin, he grunted and his thrusts came to an abrupt stop. You were about to protest but then felt his big hands collecting your hair. He switched all of it to one hand, holding it up into a ponytail. He tugged on it, pulling your head back so that he could easily lean down to nip at your ear lobe and you couldn't help the moan that left your lips. Using his free hand, he grabbed onto your hip again and began thrusting.
"Want me all to yourself all the fuckin' time, huh?" he growled into your ear, sending shivers up your spine.
"You're mine," you moaned, "Don't like sharing you."
"Fuckin' selfish is what you are," he grunted in your ear, "Can't get enough of me, huh?"
You moaned in response, breath hitching in your throat before he continued, "Got people wanting my attention left and right and you only want me for yourself. I can see why though, with how good I make you feel. Not once have I ever failed to have you fuckin' trembling under me, babe."
"You're such a fucking narcissist," you grunted, words coming out strangled.
He chuckled deeply, biting on the shell of your ear, "It's the sole reason why you married me, innit? 'cause of how easy I can get you to scream my name?"
"Fuck off," you groaned and he chuckled again, loving how he got to you.
"Got the sexiest girl in the world to be my wife. How can I not be narcissistic?"
"Mmm," you whimpered, ignoring him, "Want more."
"More? Am I not giving you enough right now?"
"No, gimme more."
"Greedy, greedy girl. You're my greedy girl though, that right?"
You hummed in agreement as he let go of your hair, your head immediately hanging low. With both hands now on your hips, fingertips gripping your skin tightly, he changed his rhythm. Fast and hard. Exactly what you wanted right now.
"I'll give you whatever you want. Got me wrapped around your little finger."
"Obviously not, or else we wouldn't be in this situation right now," you grunted in sync with the smack of his hips against yours.
"Still mad at me, huh?"
"Just shut up and make me cum," you groaned.
You heard him chuckle behind you as he kept his rhythm, bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm by the second. His thighs smacked against yours and the sound echoed throughout your hotel room. Your breath was hitched in your throat, your face contorted with pleasure and your jaw slack as moans occasionally escaped when your hitched breath allowed.
He got so deep inside you, hitting your special spot just underneath where your clit was located with each thrust of his powerful hips. His fingers were gripping your hips tightly, nails carving crescent moon shapes within your skin. Your clenched around him and you could feel every inch of him moving against your walls.
"Oh, Harry," you whimpered into the sheets and Harry's heart swelled as he noticed how much you needed this. How much you needed him.
With the length of his thrusts shortening and pace only slowing down slightly, he leaned down and pressed his back against yours, cupping your waist to pull him into you.
"Haven't been giving you the attention you deserve, have I, baby?" he grunted into your ear, words in sync with his thrusts.
"Mm mm," you whimpered, his lips against the shell of your ear making you shiver.
"Been neglecting my favorite person in the world. My beautiful wife, fuck, I love you so much."
You couldn't even reply. Your voice wouldn't let you, the only thing you could get out was moans of pure pleasure by not only him inside of you, but also him finally giving you exactly what he wanted. His hands slid up your torso and gripped your breasts, squeezing them as his thumbs flicked over your nipples. You could tell he was close by the way his member twitched inside of you, his strangled moans, and the feeling of his face contorting against your back.
"Need you to cum, baby." he breathed out, "I can't cum if you don't cum first."
"I need-" you began and it was like he read your mind, fingers heading straight for your throbbing clit and rubbing it side to side vigorously, causing you to breathe out, "Yeah."
It didn't take much longer before your body became numb with pleasure. You were trembling, screaming into the sheets beneath you, knuckles turning white with how hard you were gripping the covers. Harry continued his movements to carry you through your orgasm, causing it to pulse through you in waves, euphoria completely clouding your mind.
You came down from your high with heavy breaths, the continued stimulation from his thrusts sending a new wave of pleasure over you. When it became too much, you whimpered and he pulled out, groaning painfully, "Where do you want me?"
"My back," you breathed out.
You laid down on your stomach and moved all your hair to your front, while he continued to pump himself to keep his orgasm from falling. Once you were in position, he pressed one knee to the bed to angle himself above you. It was only seconds before you felt the warm feeling of him painting your back with his creamy release, your jaw falling slack. Moans of pleasure fell from his lips as he worked himself through his orgasm, pleasure consuming his body just as it did you only seconds earlier.
Once he had milked the last of his orgasm, he immediately got up to grab a few tissues to clean you off.
"You okay, babe?" he asked while wiping the tissue across your skin.
"Mhm," you hummed in response, ready to just fall asleep in his arms.
Throwing away the soiled tissue, he stated, "All done."
You turned over onto your side and he laid down next to you, pulling you into him, breathing out, "Didn't lie when I said I always get you trembling under me, huh?"
You rolled your eyes teasingly at him, "You're so annoying."
"I love you. You know that, right?"
"I know. We still need to talk though. The problem didn't just go away 'cause you're good in bed."
He chuckled deeply, "Can we talk tomorrow? Just wanna hold you right now."
"Yeah, lemme go to the bathroom then we can go to bed," you replied as you got out of bed and made your way to the bathroom.
"Love you, sexy," he teased, landing a soft smack across the curve of your ass as you got up.
You giggled, "I love you too."
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blackbirdie1234 · 4 months
Note
Hey!! I love your fic's so much!
Can I request a Jacob x Fem!reader where they are friends but reader has a crush on Jacob. When he shifts he leaves and does what he did to Bella like ignoring her and Billy won't answer the door.
Mutual pinning but neither knows. He imprints on reader.
Thank you so much keep up the great writing :)
Also, I was wondering if you are going to be doing the vampires as well?
Hi!, Thank you so much for the request! I appreciate the kind words <3
I will be doing fanfics for the vampires as well! As of right now I only have the wolves, but I am planning on making a master list for the vamps and Bella. If you want to make a request for them I can definitely do that! I am planning on making a fic for Jasper soon!
A/N: Not proofread! I aged Jacob up a bit, you both are seventeen here. I didn't know exactly how to end this but I think I might do a spin-off series off of this fic so if you are interested in that let me know. Also, sorry for the late posting I am currently sick and going through it lmao. Hope you enjoy <3
Warnings: Jacob being an ass, cursing, angst, Y/N with a backbone.
Wolf’s Out Of The Bag
Jacob Black x Fem!reader
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You were staring blankly down at your phone. Ten phone calls, ten phone calls sent to voicemail. Ten desperate, pleading voicemails. No callback, no text, nothing received. You snapped your phone closed and threw it down on the bed.
It had been two weeks since Jacob stormed off from your house after getting into a small disagreement, at least it started off that way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"It's nothing you need to worry about, Jacob," You grumbled with a slight roll of your eyes. Hoping he would drop the subject.
He was giving you an irritated look. You lightly pushed him with your shoulder giving him a small smile.
"I didn't think you'd care that much, it was one date and it's never happening again," you noted with a light-hearted laugh to ease the tension.
He turned to face you, irritation turning to anger. You could actually feel the heat radiating off of his body next to yours.
"Wow you must be really dumb, I mean how could you even think about going on a date with that pig. He's not good enough for you, but then again if you were desperate enough to give him a chance maybe I'm wrong" He barked getting more bitter with each word.
You look at him in shock.
"Why would you say that to me" You said not believing what you were hearing. "It's really none of your business who I go out with, you aren't my bodyguard, you don't have to 'protect' me. When did you get the right to decide who is 'good enough' for me? Huh? You're being a dick and I don't know why but it better change right now." You say sternly. He has never acted like this before and this sudden behavior change is not sitting well with you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jacob left shortly after that. He had gotten so angry he was shaking, you can't even remember the words that were thrown after that. Now, he wasn't answering the phone. Billy said he came down with mono, you didn't know how much you believed it but decided to trust that Billy wouldn't lie to you.
Jacob was your best friend, you loved him a lot. You had never had such an intense fight, you never thought he would react the way he did. You only went on the stupid date to get Jacob out of your head, you thought that maybe you would get over Jacob if you found someone else to pay attention to. You were wrong, no one made you feel the way that Jacob did. Jacob made you feel at home, you couldn't explain why but it was like he was the person you were meant to be with. He was the one who understood you fully and would never judge you for anything you said or did. Until now......
You were deeply hurt by what Jacob said to you, and if he thought that you would get over it he was surely mistaken. He had never said anything more hurtful to you in your entire friendship. You had thought about just letting it go, letting life run its course even if it meant Jacob being out of your life, but you couldn't just sit and let him speak to you that way. You wanted answers. Sitting in your room waiting for him to call and explain was becoming too stressful. You sat there for hours overthinking and no matter what you were doing you were replaying the moment in your mind.
You must be going crazy. At least that's what you were trying to convince yourself after seeing Jacob cliff-jumping with Sam Uley and his gang. You had decided that you would go to La Push, and relax your body and mind on one of the only partly cloudy days in Forks. The skies were pretty clear but there was a storm coming soon, so you decided to do it now. Never in your life did you think you would see what you were seeing now. Are you fucking serious? was all you could think as you drove your car straight to Billy Black's house. You wanted to make sure it was really Jacob, so you went to the man who had told you how 'serious' his condition was in the first place.
As you pulled into the driveway the clouds began covering the sky in a dark grey mass. You hopped out of the car and began walking to the front door, Billy had opened the door as soon as you stepped onto the wood. His face had a mix of concern and confusion as he noticed your agitated expression and the way your chest was slightly heaving from anger.
"Where is he" you say with a grumble.
"He's not here, he went out," He says seriously but looking down a bit not wanting to make eye contact. Billy didn't like lying to you and to your face it was even worse.
Just as you were about to speak you looked to the side and saw that far away down the hill, Jacob stood playfully nudging another man as a few more came out of the woods.
"Don't Y/N" Billy said in warning.
You started stomping down the hill, ignoring Billy's yells. Billy calling your name caught the attention of Jacob, as his face shifted from laughing to completely still. You continued to walk towards Jacob as the rain started, it quickly went from a drizzle to full pouring as you finally reached him.
To say you were fuming would be an understatement.
"What the actual fuck Jacob!" you say basically screaming at the shirtless man, who was now staring directly into your eyes with what looked like pure amazement but you ignored it the best you could, whatever love for him you felt in that moment may have been strong but you were too angry to care so you continued.
"So we have one fight and you ignore me for two weeks?! I called you ten times, ten times Jacob. You couldn't bother picking up the phone at least once, you could've told me you didn't want to be friends but no! You had your daddy lie to me" You say with an angry laugh.
"I thought you were sick Jacob! Too sick to pick up the damn phone and text me! Come to find out you were just having too much fun cliff jumping with the guys we used to make fun of! You know what you can have them, If you want to throw away seventeen years of friendship then be my guest." You say finally taking a breath.
The weight off of your chest feels amazing, but as you finish Jacob falls to his knees. The boys behind him look between you two with pure shock on their faces before they start laughing and smiling. You look up at them shocked and confused thinking they were making fun of you. They start walking away but not before patting Jake on the back. Sam leans down and whispers something to him as he sits there still on his knees staring at you.
"Do you even care about a word I just said to you? You know what never mind if you think this is a joke I might as well leave," You say turning around and starting to walk away.
Jacob suddenly found his voice as he quickly got to his feet and stumbled trying to reach you.
"WAIT! Wait, wait, Y/N please hold on!" He spoke hurriedly. Grasping for your hand and pulling you around. Hand now resting on your waist.
"I am so, so sorry. Please let me explain everything, I promise I won't lie to you anymore. I can explain everything now, just come inside and dry off." He said pleadingly, trying his best to get you to listen to him.
You thought for a moment, you didn't trust him at all but the way he was speaking you knew he was telling the truth to some extent. It was hard for him to lie to you, you know how Jacob works, you know the subtle mannerisms he has when he's not telling the truth. Considering all of this you finally speak.
"Fine, but if things don't add up or I find out you are still lying, I am gone," You say sternly, pulling his hands away from you and walking up the hill.
When you get to the house, Jacob gives you warm tea and a blanket which you take from him without a word. He comes over and sits across from you. He almost reaches for your hand but stops himself.
"The day that I left your house, something changed, I changed...." He claimed, looking at your reaction with a hint of fear but continued "This is going to sound crazy, but you have to believe me on this..... I am a werewolf"
You stared at him for a moment before throwing the blanket off and standing up, Jacob followed suit immediately. You threw him a glare before starting to walk out.
"No, No, Y/N wait!" he shouted after you, reaching out and grabbing your hand. "I am telling the truth let me show you" He spoke as he continued outside your hand still in his.
" I swear Jacob if this is a pra....."
You went dead silent as he began taking his boots, and then his shorts off. Now standing in just his underwear. He gave you a curt nod and then started bending and shaking profusely. You could barely blink before your best friend stood in front of you only he wasn't human anymore, he was a massive wolf.
You jumped back a bit as the wolf started coming towards you, noticing your fear he slowly laid down on the ground and gave out a small whine to signal he would not hurt you. You were in complete shock, how was this possible? Everything you ever heard about the stories of the Quileute tribe growing up was true, and your best friend was living proof. A thousand thoughts ran through your mind, but they were silenced by the wolf standing up and trotting to the back of the house. Jacob then emerged in different clothes than before.
"I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you Y/N" Jacob expressed, grabbing your hands hesitantly until you leaned into the touch slightly.
"Why couldn't you tell me, you know I would never judge you, nor would I ever tell anyone " You pressed before giving him a confused stare "Wait why are you telling me now?"
He looked at you a gave you a crooked smile.
"It's one of the rules that came with the gig" He laughs a bit before pulling you a bit closer. "The reason I can tell you now is because you are my soulmate," He says beaming down at you.
You stare up at him with a bewildered expression.
"I'm your what?" you say breathing out.
"You are my imprint, Y/N. It's a wolf's soulmate, it is the reason for their existence, you feel like it isn't gravity holding you to the ground anymore, it's them. You can be anything the imprint wants you to be, a friend, a protector, a lover, all that matters is that the two are connected. Like vines on trees overlapping each other both on the same path, interlocked." He pauses, putting his hand on your face and caressing your cheek gently.
"I know this might be overwhelming and a lot to handle. I really want you to know how deeply sorry I am for everything that I said. I'm not going to sit here and blame it all on the wolf because it wasn't, I was jealous. I was jealous that you went on that date with someone that wasn't me and I didn't mean a word that I said about you. I'm going to be fully honest with you from now on, starting with the fact that I have been in love with you since the second grade. I know that trusting me will take time, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to earn it back. I understand that I have hurt you, so it might take a very long time but I will always be there for you. Everything is up to you, I understand if you want to reject the connection. The connection can be anything you want it to be, but I really truly do not want to lose you and the past two weeks without you have been hell on earth for me. I'm just really sorry Y/N." He pleads letting go of your hands and allowing you to process.
"I... I love you too Jacob. I have for a while now. I'm not going to forgive you easily but I am glad you understand how much you have hurt me. I am willing to give this a shot, mainly because I can feel the connection and would be an idiot if I said that I didn't." You laugh a bit as he looks at you with the biggest smile on his face.
"But if you ever say or do that to me again I will put you in a dog house and leave you there," You say with an evil smile laughing at the way his face drops before he joins in.
You two get out of the rain and drive separately to Emily's house where you meet the pack and they explain in much more detail what being a wolf really entails. You and Emily become quick friends, and as the days go on you slowly fall into a routine that is pure chaos but you wouldn't have it any other way. You and Jacob work on your relationship, slowly building back trust and falling deeper and deeper into love with each other. You have fully accepted your place in a world filled with wolves and life seems to be going great, that is until they tell you exactly why they turn into the big ferocious beasts....... there are vampires in Forks.
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justporo · 6 months
Text
Senseless
Astarion, Staeve and the others barely survived their last big fight. Staeve can barely take the exhaustion which might or might not be amplified by how his local vampire has been regularly feeding on him. He desperately tries to push through... And Astarion has a few things to say about that.
MASTERLIST | AO3
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Author's Note: This will be quite long, so... sorry! But I have a few things to add about this. First of all, I dedicate this piece of writing to the lovely @velnna - creator of the legendary Staeve and incredible artist! (Check him out if you don't know him already, I will say it again) This story is a continuation to "Bloodless". Back during writing that I already imagined Staeve being the Tav in that story (but didn't officially make it so). Back then I was waaay to too scared to tag velnna - but: I recently found out (well, he told me himself- and very kindly), that he indeed found it, read it - and liked it! (I was in shock...) And so I immediately thought that I would have to write an actual Staeve x Astarion piece for him. So here we are! @velnna, thank you so much for your kind words - I will be thinking of this and be motivated by it for a long time! And thank you also for all the amazing art you provide this community with! It's written from the usual second person POV - but it's STAEVE!
Pairing: Astarion/Staeve (You, male reader) Warnings: none, but major Act 2 spoilers so it will fully remain below the cut Wordcount: 3,5k ~~~
Barely, just barely had you all made it out of this godsdamned mausoleum alive. And after slaying a demon, oh, some other folks too, completing the Gauntlet of Shar, and a trip to the Shadowfell, you felt positively exhausted. And you felt that it was rightfully earned. Especially knowing that you wouldn’t get much rest before you were taking on an even bigger threat.
No rest for the wicked, it seemed – even though you weren’t entirely sure if that meant you or your foes.
You’d been pretty much exhausted even before you had entered the mausoleum and then what lay beneath (and before a certain devil had made it even worse). All because a certain vampire had to be kept fed and happy. Not that you were complaining about it though.
The two of you had your disagreements about it. Especially since you had already ended up in the dirt once because you might’ve been just a tad too eager about offering your neck to the vampire. You had both agreed to take it a bit slower after that - at least with the whole feeding thing.
Although you had still felt like it hadn’t been that much of a deal, the vampire had kept hissing at you to not be so desperate, as he called it. You would have called it: being way too stubborn to accept some godsdamned help.
And that is what had become of you both: two idiots, not really being able to admit to each other how deeply you actually cared for the other. Until just recently.
But even with that - it still meant you were both very much on uncharted territory. And putting feelings into words after such a long time of just trying to suppress them was by far not an easy feat to achieve.
And then, when you had entered the Shadowlands with barely anything alive in it – what else could you have done but to offer yourself up again? Astarion’s survival instincts had kicked in once more and so had your urge to provide – for as long as you were able to be there for him.
On top of that, the moments of tenderness that always followed, holding each other, kissing each other, deeply, – and before a certain night not long ago, often more – had done their fair share of consoling you about just a little blood loss. Barely anything couldn’t be forgotten as long as you were laying in the arms of someone you wanted to just keep holding onto – right?
But as much as you tried to ignore it: you still felt it. Felt how the generous donations to your local vampire tended to make you a little sluggish. Maybe it was even a bit more than just a little. More than once causing you to only make a critical dodge or lift your blade to parry in the last possible moment. Your A game definitely looked different.
But then again: did you want to be responsible for Astarion’s waning strength when it was so easy to just saunter over to him in the evening? Talk to him, get him to throw some of his sultry lines at you, cheesing your way to the same moment almost every night where you deliberately offered the vampire to feed on you. And he always accepted in the end.
It had become a well practised dance between the two of you over the past time spent in these godsforsaken lands. And so it had been in like about you trying to hide the effects all of this had on your constitution 
So, when you had come out of the damned crypt – alive, even if only by a hair – your first order had been to lie down. Just right in front of the stone arch. Right in the dirt.
“Gods above and below”, you whispered, letting out a sigh and spreading out all of your limbs.
As soon as you made contact with the ground you knew it would be next to impossible to get up again in the near future. So, you settled for getting cosy with what you got. Which meant wiggling around until you found a somewhat comfortable position where the sword on your back wouldn’t press too much into your back.
“Gods, Staeve, you couldn’t wait ten seconds?”, Shadowheart scoffed and made a big step over one of your stretched out limbs – too stubborn to actually find a way around you. Incredible, how she still had the energy to be sassy after everything that must be weighing on her mind now. But then again, you really couldn’t blame her for deflecting with a generous amount of sarcasm.
“Ten seconds? What difference would that have made, eh?”, you answered her.
You lifted your head up a little. “I’d just be lying over there then”, you continued and weakly pointed down the path a bit.
The cleric just rolled her eyes at you and groaned at you again as the rest of the companions left the dusty old place as well. All of you blood covered and feeling exhaustion down to your bones.
You closed your eyes as you felt the fatigue grab almost complete hold of you. Meanwhile you heard how some of the others settled down around you. Halsin, who’d been lightly injured in the fight, winced as he sat down.
Your eyes flew open at the sound of it and lifting your head up again, you looked at him. But the druid just smiled and waved you off - no big deal, thankfully. So you let your head sink to the ground again, eyes shutting with a sigh. You barely had it in you to stay awake right this moment.
Your limbs felt heavy as lead, and you felt the drag on your eyelids. Meanwhile your pulse was still thrumming in your chest and your ears. A nervous rhythm that threatened to become the only thing baring you from drifting off to blissful and much needed sleep.
You were well aware that this kind of exhaustion wasn’t normal - even with everything you and the others had gone through. It had slowly become more and more - up to where you were now lying in the dirt, not sure if you would make it to camp tonight. Might be you were kind of in a pickle - but best not to dwell on it.
Next time you opened your eyes was when you heard some rustling quite near to you. It was Astarion, kneeling next to you. He was giving you one of his judgemental glances with a raised eyebrow, red eyes piercing as ever.
“Oh, hi love”, you said and grinned, tiredly wiggling your eyebrows at him. The vampire didn’t even acknowledge you - except for his eyebrow rising still a bit higher.
 “So”, he drawled, an edge to his voice you couldn’t fully place, “are we getting up or do we have to carry you, love.” He made a little dramatic pause before he sarcastically spat out the last word.
You slapped your hand to your armoured chest with some effort and made a face that hopefully conveyed how hurt you felt by his implied accusation.
Astarion didn’t give a shit about your histrionics.
So you decided for a comeback.
“My friend, you aren’t carrying anyone, anywhere at any time in the near future”, you replied dryly. You heard Karlach snicker somewhere behind you. At least you’d gotten someone’s approval. The vampire gave the tiefling a death glare, then his ruby gaze wandered back to you.
And then it kept lingering on you. Something in the vampire’s eyes had changed and it was beginning to startle you.
And well - usually by now he should have taken up the banter with you again. Could it be, he was actually worried? Like really, actually worried?
“Look”, you said and used some of the little power you had left in your body to push up to a position that was at least somewhat close to sitting up. Immediately you started to feel dizzy.
“I’m fine. Just a little tired, that’s all. We all are, aren’t we?”, you continued as you desperately tried to not let it be known how much your surroundings were spinning around you at the moment.
Quite obviously you were doing a terrible job at that because there was now open worry on Astarion’s face. Even the usual sharp edge of teasing in his voice had been dulled down by now: “And you want to take on Ketheric Thorm tomorrow? And all his thugs? Like this?”
You were definitely getting a little annoyed at him now. The others had gone dead silent. They must’ve been feeling too that this situation might be about to go sideways. You didn’t care.
And as much as you felt him tug on your heartstrings with the sad round puppy eyes he offered you now - did he have to make it so public? You were just not having it.
Using every last ounce of energy that you still had within you, you made to stand up. Astarion’s eyes widened some more and he cautiously stood up as well. His brows were furrowed now.
You gathered your legs beneath you with quite some effort. The world around you was really rushing past you now, but you were determined to bite through it. Then you pushed up to a standing position - straightening your back for extra effect and pointing a very passive-aggressive finger at your vampire.
“I’ll have you know tha-”, you began in a sassy tone.
But then no one would ever find out what you would have wanted to let them know. Because your vision blackened rapidly, closing in from the edges and you already felt the strange sensation of toppling over. Gravity inevitably pulling you back to the ground you had just stood up from.
The last thing you felt were arms that caught you under the armpits, with quite some effort. You heard strained groans and a hissed “idiot” very close to your ear. Then you passed out completely.
~~~
You woke up in dire confusion about where you were and how you’d gotten there. You lifted up your torso and blinked profusely to try and clear your vision. You also immediately reached for a dagger that would have usually been at your side. But you were also out of your armour it seemed. Oh, and laying on some pillows? A blanket draped over you?
You closed your eyes again and pressed the balls of your hands to your eyes. And you groaned as you felt a headache creep up on you now that you had woken up.
Since there seemed to be no imminent dangers around you sunk back onto the pillows. You realised that your shirt had been taken off as well. Pain thrummed through your skull.
Your hands dropped from your face, your vision cleared more and more and you realised that you were laying in someone else’s tent. And as you took a closer look at the ceiling of the tent, your brows furrowed. Because you very well knew which tent it was you were laying in. You’ve had your fair share of staring up at this very particular fabric from this very particular spot.
Your head popped up again from the pillows. And you found Astarion sitting at your feet, in his camp clothes. Legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles, arms folded over his chest and very much glowering at you. His red eyes were basically boring into you.
“Oh, are we awake again? Back from the land of the dead, hm? Rise and shine then, my love, since you seemed so eager to do so earlier!”, the vampire immediately went into a tirade.
“You’re not even going to give me a few more moments to just really wake up?”, you replied flatly. But you could already feel his words evoking shame within you. You rubbed one of your eyes once more, trying to look innocent.
The vampire kept fuming: “Were you planning on telling me how much the blood loss affected you again?”
“No.”
Astarion obviously could barely believe your audacity as well as your honesty by the way his eyes first widened and then narrowed even more at you. But he kept silent.
“Were you planning on stopping to take my offered blood?”, you posed in return when there was no further reaction coming from Astarion.
You regretted the words as soon as they had left your tongue. Knowing it was a cheap shot because this was still very much you insisting on being the one to take care of his needs. And also hiding the negative side effects.
You immediately felt the twinge of guilt as you saw how Astarion’s eyes couldn’t help but stray from yours as he registered your words. Your headache accordingly sent a bolt of pain through your skull, making you groan.
You closed your eyes in desperation for a second, trying to swallow down the thought that you had just put this guilt onto him. Blaming him for his basic needs of survival even if you hadn’t meant it like that at all.
As you compulsively tried to think of something to say, you heard the vampire speak again: “Well, as much as I enjoy you falling for me. Maybe you could try and… avoid it next time.”
Your throat closed up. Immediately, the double meaning very much wasn’t lost on you.
And not only did you instantly recognise the tone of him deflecting with something harsh and sarcastic but you could also almost see how his old and very much practised mask slipped back in its place.
You felt how the whole situation was slipping from your fingers. Desperate to do something about it, you got up from the still half-lying position you were in and crawled over to where the vampire was now looking at you with trained indifference.
Your chest ached, just having to look at it. Especially since you had only recently made such a leap with him finally allowing you in more. Astarion finally allowing for some of the carefully put up fortress walls to crumble under your soft touch.
Back, when his somewhat cautious confession had made you swear to yourself that you wouldn’t stop until all of the wretched, cascading layers of armour the vampire had put up around his core would have been disassembled.
Now you felt you might be responsible for some of those layers being put back into place. Even if it had just been a very short moment, a dumb slip of the tongue. You hoped it wasn’t too late yet to undo the damage.
You drew your arms around your lover - slowly, cautiously. Posing the question if you were still allowed to do that.
The vampire let it happen.
A tiny fraction of your tension eased at the thought that there might still be hope to rectify the delicate thing you had basically just stepped on. That he would allow you to make it right.
“I’m sorry, Astarion”, you whispered silently. Almost too quiet to form actual words. But the pale elf in your arms heard you anyway. He didn’t look up at you but he did sink into your arms a little more.
“I’m sorry for what I said and for how I acted. I didn’t mean to blame you for anything.”, you said again, this time more confidently.
There was no further acknowledgement of your apology other than the vampire slowly leaning his head against your naked chest. His soft hair brushed lightly over your bare skin. Even the lightest touches of him in your arms sent jolts through your entire body.
But the knot between you was not yet unravelled.
Fear threatened to close up your throat again as your mind raced, feverishly trying to think of a way to make him understand that it was just… he meant everything to you. That you’d rather crawl in the dirt yourself instead of having to watch him do it.
That you so desperately cared about him. Why couldn’t he see that?
And then another thought crossed your mind. Concerning the battle you would have to take on tomorrow.
What if this was the last chance you would ever get to convey this to him? The last shot at convincing him that he was very much loved and cared for and had a place in this world as long as you walked this planet.
Carefully you raised your hand to under Astarion’s chin and nudged softly to see if he would allow you to lift up his head to make him meet your gaze. Again, he let it happen.
The vampire’s eyes found yours. Instantly, something in his gaze changed as he must’ve seen something particular in them. You tenderly and cautiously cupped his cheek as your lips parted. But it still took another moment before you managed to find the words.
“Astarion, if tomorrow… would be the end. I-”, you broke off. Then took another breath before you continued.
“I would hate myself if this is how I left things. I wouldn’t want to have caused you to think that I was just brushing you off for caring for me. Or that I put any blame on you when I was being a reckless idiot. But I still would want you to understand that I just… I’m doing this because I want you to be safe and happy and careless and free and… with me, if you want that.”
Astarion’s eyes ever so slightly widened and opened up as you spoke. A nearly inaudible gasp left his throat.
After you had ended your little speech, the moment of the two of you looking into each other’s eyes just went on. But the mood had changed now. The way Astarion looked at you as you softly let your thumb wander over his cheekbone was no longer distant. He was still allowing you in, if cautiously so.
Your gaze dropped to his lips as your thumb kept wandering over the vampire’s delicate skin.
Then you leaned in just a little - letting him decide if he wanted to bridge the gap between you. And he did so without hesitation.
Astarion met your parted lips with his. You gladly accepted his open-mouthed kiss.
The rest of the words that yet remained unspoken between you were resolved this way. By kissing deeply and assuring the other of what you could not yet put into words.
The vampire’s hand grabbed onto your upper arm, fingertips lightly grazing your biceps. You let your hand wander from his cheek into his soft white curls, your fingertips softly tugging and teasing them.
And you were still doing that when you slowly withdrew from him - if only enough to speak.
“I was a dick, Astarion, I’m sorry.”
“Yes, you were. Now, I thought we had just established that. Don’t try and draw it out to make me sappy, Staeve darling, or I might actually take back what I said the other night”, Astarion replied with an edge of sarcasm entering his voice again.
But you knew that it was the good-humoured kind once more. The one he used when you two bickered like an old married couple.
“Don’t promise what you can’t keep”, you offered back with a smug grin. The vampire rolled his eyes at you. Your grin just grew.
“Come, just lie down with me, please”, you proposed to your vampire. Now that adrenaline and stress were slowly leaving your body you felt exhaustion creep up on you again. The headache you had completely forgotten to acknowledge somewhere in between also letting itself be known again.
Astarion immediately took you up on it and you laid down on the bedroll, snuggling up to each other until your limbs were fully tangled, bodies fully wrapped around each other. You gazed upon the vampire in your arms - how much his pale skin contrasted against yours.
You slowly felt how the tension left both your bodies, shoulders dropping, jaws unclenching. Revelling in relief and joy you closed your eyes and focused solely on how it felt to hold Astarion. Just silently laying there, enjoying this moment of peace.
Until you broke the silence once more because a random thought had just crossed your mind.
“Wait, who actually carried me all the way back to camp?”
Astarion scrambled to push himself up once more and gave you a glare. “Really? That’s what’s on your mind right now?”
You shrugged: “I guess.”
The vampire’s glare became even more intense. Then it snapped to mischievous glint really quickly. He let one of his hands drag through his hair dramatically and sensually and said: “Oh, darling, couldn’t you believe that I valiantly carried you here like the knight in shiny armour that I am?” You wouldn’t even have believed him being able to pull you here with your face dragging through the dirt.
“It was Halsin, wasn’t it?”
You received another death glare. Then Astarion just sighed in defeat and wrapped himself in your arms again.
“Yes it was. I was the one who undressed you though.”
“Of course you were”, you replied with a wolfish grin although Astarion couldn’t see it. The vampire groaned in annoyance
“Now, if you please, let me enjoy this moment in peace, you idiot.”
And so you did. Holding onto Astarion as he held onto you. Both silently smiling and not even that afraid anymore of what tomorrow might bring.
Tag list: @spacebarbarianweird @sunfire-ancunin @tragedybunny @dependsonthedream @tallymonster @magazzne @micropoe10 @aoirohi @my-bunny-prince @lumienyx @fayeriess
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skz-streamer · 8 months
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Why I Fell For You
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Simptober Small Things You Do M-list
Pairing: Felix (skz) x fem!reader
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/comfort
Warnings:
Notes: literal sweetheart, :((((( I love him so muchhh. I dont rlly think this does justice to him but whateverrr :///
-please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people
Word count - 664;)
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The morning sun bathed the room in a gentle light, casting a warm glow over the stillness that had settled in after a night of unease. The argument from the previous evening lingered like a haunting specter, leaving both you and Felix in a state of disquiet. It was a restless night, marked by a conspicuous silence, and the awkwardness in the air felt heavy and oppressive.
The disagreement had begun innocuously enough, a minor misunderstanding that had unexpectedly snowballed into a full-blown argument. Your intention was simple – to express your affection and connect with Felix during his work hours, mirroring the love and attention he consistently showered upon you. However, it seemed like your well-intentioned efforts had crossed a line, and it left both of you feeling hurt and misunderstood.
With the dawn of a new day, you held onto a glimmer of hope that it would bring a fresh start, an opportunity to mend the rift that had grown between you and Felix. He broke the silence with a gentle but firm directive, "Get ready," and there was something resolute in his voice that compelled you to obey. You dressed up in a cute ensemble, the anticipation of the upcoming day carrying a hint of trepidation and hope.
Felix led you to a charming little restaurant, one of those hidden gems that seemed untouched by the hustle and bustle of the world outside. Delicate pastries, exquisitely crafted, beckoned from the display, and the aroma of fragrant tea filled the air. The ambiance was tranquil, with the soft murmur of other patrons providing a soothing backdrop. Despite the picturesque setting, the lingering tension seemed to be a stubborn guest, unwilling to depart.
As you both settled into your seats, the conversation was tentative, stilted at best. The burden of the unresolved argument weighed heavily upon you, and the silence between you two felt like an insurmountable divide. You were desperate to bridge the gap, to ease the awkwardness, and finally, you mustered the courage to speak.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—" you began, but Felix, ever the considerate one, gently interrupted you, his voice a soft murmur in your ear. "Shhh, don't worry about it, hon."
His arms enveloped you in a comforting embrace, and you could feel the steady rhythm of his heart, a reassuring beat against your chest. In that embrace, he began to speak, his voice filled with heartfelt sincerity.
"I'm deeply sorry for what I said last night," Felix confessed earnestly. "It was rude of me, and I really didn't mean it. I cherish your texts throughout the day, and I beg you not to stop."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked up at him, the emotion in his eyes mirroring your own. It became apparent that the argument had taken a toll on him, just as it had on you. The raw vulnerability at that moment, as you held each other close, felt profound and healing.
Felix leaned in to kiss your cheek tenderly, his lips a gentle caress. His gaze met yours, and you could see the glint of moisture in his eyes, a testament to the depth of his feelings. Your own eyes mirrored his, and you smiled, a small but genuine one, in acknowledgment of his apology and the love that bound you both.
He took your hand, fingers interlocking, and guided you to sit closer to him, abandoning the space across the table. The physical closeness felt like a bridge, spanning the emotional gap that had separated you earlier. Your fingers brushed against each other as you shared a delicate tart, the sweetness of it resonating with the newfound warmth in your relationship.
As Felix bit into a tart, a playful giggle escaped his lips, breaking the tension that had haunted you for so long. You couldn't help but ask, "What's so funny?"
His eyes twinkled with affection, and he responded, "I don't know. I just love you so much."
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Tags:  @eee5533 @mixtape-racha @cherry-edibles @ren0325 @felixvsp @hwangrimi @sanriiolino @painstakingly-juno @herarcadewasteland @dabiscrustyfeet @kai-jilee  @sungiesoonie  @slvtty4channiee @revelaffee @buckys-pillow, @staygirl86 @chlodavids @jinnie-ret @bbygrlhannie @rebecca-johnson-28  @turtledove824  @interstellarairwaves @yearofthetiger25 @minhos4thkitty @fiqire @backintomykpopphaseagain @liknws @tinyelfperson @aaasia111
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bridgetoesoteria · 4 months
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💌 Love: Feelings and thoughts about you & the connection
OMGGG I hit 50 follows while working on this post. Thank you! I appreciate every one of you 🥰
Y'all already know what it is. Options left to right. Pick a ring! 💍
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I'm using multiple decks so cards won't be listed.
See you at your reading. Hope it resonates <3
Pile 1
Off the bat: This relationship could be in a rocky place. I'm seeing a masculine with their brows furrowed like they are stressed or deep in thought. Maybe that is this person's general demeanor. The feminine could have her mind elsewhere or is trying to tune out the masculine.
Feelings for you:
Lots and lots of wands! Temperance is linked to Sagittarius. Maybe this person is a fire sign. Or they just feel quite passionately about you. You know when people say "so and so doesn't play about _____," its like that. When I say passionate, I mean they feel quite strongly. They could be very intense. Some of you may have pulled away because you did not like their energy. I see that they could come back around so be prepared to stand your ground. If they were controlling before, they will continue to be. I say that because I pulled cards I associate with dominance and assertiveness, i.e., the chariot, the king of wands.
For others, you may have gotten into a disagreement with this person. Or you have done something that they are offended by. Some of you may have been super blunt and told them to get their shit together!
Their energy toward you is pretty defensive. However, if you are not talking, I'm not sure that will last forever. (I don't usually give time predictions I am getting 2 weeks). With temperance + the eight of wands, they are being stubborn and delaying communication. I think they will communicate eventually, and should probably do it first. If you reach out first, they could ignore you, intentionally delay responding, or just be immature/petty. They do really want to work it out but they are on edge right now.
Some of you are waiting on this person to choose in some way. The decision could involve work, relocating, or another person. There is so much physical attraction. Like they are ready to take you to poundtown, but its not that kind of reading...
Thoughts on connection:
They could worry and over think a lot. I think they would like for the connection to be healthy. This connection really makes them reflect on what exactly do they want in a partner? What is their ideal connection? They also think about how they show up as a partner.
This person could have had interactions with you that are thought-provoking. They could also be receiving counseling and that is what is leading them to think more about these things. This person could be on some kind of journey; Spiritual journey, health journey, self-discovery journey, etc.
They want to understand where you are coming from. They could be mentally experimenting with the idea of changing certain things and meeting you halfway. They could be a perfectionist or diagnosed with ADHD or OCD. They want your relationship to be perfect. They also think about making breakfast for you and wonder you'd like most.
They think about your communication styles. Maybe they clash. "Is it ever appropriate to blow someone's phone up?" is really standing out to me. They might think they are the "monster" or "villain" in this connection or at this particular time. There are a lot fears and insecurities.
Okay...I have to say this just because it's come up AGAIN. *ahem* some of you may have communicated, in some way, that their sex game is wack.
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TL;DR: This person is on the defense. Maybe because of a recent disagreement or an offensive statement. They are planning to come back around, they really want to. They feel very strongly towards you. Beware if they are controlling and domineering. They will come back around with the same energy so be prepared to reassert boundaries. Your connection makes them think so deeply about their ideas around relationships. They overthink a lot. However, they are trying to grow mentally and improve themselves.
Pile 2
Off the bat: Someone may be a stoner. You could get high a lot or when you're together everything feels dreamy. Very heady. You could have met this person overseas or one of you is from a different country. I feel quite nostalgic. So maybe this is an old connection or one that reminds you of a certain era in your life. You could daydream about them a lot. This could be a crush. The masculine may have long hair or blonde hair. Some of you could be LGBT.
Feelings for you:
I think your sacral chakras are very activated by this connection. Now I see why I was getting a heady, intoxicating feeling. Your person is sooo very attracted to you! Like they think you are hot hot. I'm hearing "hot to the touch." I don't know why this is so heavily on their mind. Are you holding back from them? Have you been spending time apart? I keep getting very 18+ flashes in my head. This person seems like the type to actually study the karma sutra.
Some of you may not even know they feel this passionately for you. I'm sure you know they're attracted but do you know they're absolutely feral? I think they try to keep a calm demeanor on the outside. They feel like you have a lot of power over them. Maybe not the connection itself, but you definitely heavily influence this person.
There could be an issue with third parties. I think they feel a bit cursed. Like if things aren't working out, or they met you after they had already settled down with someone else...they are taking it very personally. Its frustrating. They have very deep emotions. They feel things strongly and examine their emotions in solitude. I'm also hearing, "I picked the winning side." So maybe they chose someone else for shallow reasons, or for purely financial reasons. They feel a bit opportunistic like they are waiting to capitalize.
If you are the cheater then this person feels like walking away from you was the right decision. They are defensive toward giving this anymore chances. Maybe this is how they perceive your energy toward them. Some of you may have been the person that experienced a betrayal. You are trying to heal. They are aware of this.
Thoughts on connection:
This person could be veryy avoidant. It is so hard pulling any cards for this part of the reading, so it is likely that they avoid thinking about the connection. Oof after pulling more cards I can see why. I'm using the Ceccoli deck and the knight of pentacles literally says "hate me."
Their thoughts toward you feel very hostile. Or they could view the connection to be hostile. They think you care about yourself than anyone else. In particular, they think that you look good and so you are able to string people along. They feel soo jealous. They feel rejected. They don't want to be just another suitor.
Honestly, I am so taken aback by this energy. I did not see it coming. They are so so mad over you! Honestly, I would stay away from this person. This is the sort of energy where you would have to start from scratch if you ever did decide to give this another go. Or they are realizing they have to move on and start from zero. Like setting up dating app profiles, going on dates, bla bla.
They could be feeling like you know what you're doing. That you target people. Is this a sugar daddy that didn't realize he was a sugar daddy? lol. Either way they think all of your actions are intentional. Maybe this why they feel gloat-y when I pulled their feeling cards. Do they think they are getting revenge?
Take this how it resonates. Reverse roles if needed.
TL;DR: You could have had a very passionate, lusty relationship with this person. Someone feels extremely burned here. For most of you it is this person. They see as a self-absorbed, player. They are super attracted to you, but also very angry and jealous right now. I would keep my distance because they feel very scorned. They could try to avoid thinking about you. Reverse any roles if needed.
Pile 3
Off the bat: I'm tasting cotton candy. Maybe that relates to some memory you made together. I also think this connection could feel very sweet. Maybe you're high school sweethearts. It could also be that you are still in the crush phase or honeymoon phase. Things feel mostly happy.
Feelings for you:
Aww so right away, this person has very tender feelings for you. They feel all warm and gooey on the inside when they think of you. For some, you could be this person's first same-sex crush or relationship. I do think they want to make some kind of offer. They could be considering confessing their feelings or asking you out. They are very attracted to you.
Some of you may not have had sex yet and they are trying to temper their desires. But its not easy. Maybe you want to take your time or you have very conservative values. If they are not getting to communicate with you at all, it is eating them up. They are ready to apologize, make up, or reunited. Whatever it may be. They want to be by your side. I get very simpy vibes and I mean that in the best way possible!
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They want to remain optimistic about the connection. They are trying to be brave and build a good connection. Or maybe this what they think of you. Fearless, a trailblazer, good with boundaries. Either way, they want to embody these traits.
Thoughts on Connection:
I really do think this person would have to be "brave" to pursue this connection because that message is coming out again in their thoughts. Maybe they will just have to take a deep breath and make their approach. For others, this may require them coming out of the closet. It doesn't have to be telling the world. Its mainly about telling you.
There are a lot of messages about staying focused and working hard. So they could be hyper focused on putting in effort to make this connection work. They consider the connection itself to be pleasant. They know they can leave their insecurities at the door and drop any facade. You both can be yourselves. This makes them feel so safe.
An example of what all this could look like: You have been spending time together and now you have caught feelings for each other. Maybe for right now your relationship is private. Or their feelings for you are private but they will have to confess them. This could be anxiety inducting. So, taking these actions might not be pleasant, but being with you is. And that's what makes it all worth it.
They are trying to believe that love exists. I think they may actively try to keep their thoughts positive, like challenging negative thoughts when they come up. Maybe they need to have more hope in order to approach you. That its possible to find a good partner. Those people exist. I am also getting that they are struggling like this because of a breakup.
TL;DR: This person gives major simp vibes. They are feeling you for sure! Very very attracted. This relationship could still be in the honeymoon phase or could feel like that. For some this person hasn't even confessed feelings yet. They don't want to keep hiding their feelings from you or hiding the relationship from the world. They are giving themselves mental pep talks! They are trying to be less jaded about love. They are want to do what it takes to make this connection work!
Pile 4
Off the bat: The energy feels very serious. Kind of corporate. A bit stagnant like there isn't much going on in the connection. Someone could be from a small town or from a more traditional part of the country. Maybe a difference in views was an issue.
Feelings for you:
They are fighting their pull towards you. I would not be surprised if they reached out to you soon. If they do, just know that they fought that feeling for as long as they could! Maybe you are matching their energy and they wanted to show you they could wait you out. They could be indulging in vices to distract themselves.
They most definitely feel like "you're mine". They are very possessive over you. They are not going anywhere and they are going to fight off anything threats to the relationship. They find you to be gentle and feminine. Calming. You could remind them of their mother but not in a creepy way. Like say she always knew exactly what to say and they never thought they would find anyone else that could soothe them like that. Maybe you do that for them
If you just reconciled they feel very happy about this. 6 of wands with the tower. They are celebrating. Their pride and ego are off the charts.
Alternatively, this person could have ended the relationship in a dramatic or cruel fashion. They think about how they blew up all the potential that was here. It almost feels like they're gloating. Umm I don't want to go further into this energy because its just hurtful. There's no need to rehash it.
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Thoughts on Connection:
As I was looking over the cards (I left them faced down until I finished pulling), I thought "tricky tricky," and in the guidebook, they literally used TRICKY. Idk I thought that was interesting. So this could either be how they think about you or ⚠ these are their actions they are thinking of ⚠
I say this because there are some very player like cards coming out. 3/4 of the oracle cards mention tricks or hidden layers. Since these are their thoughts, this person is aware they are being deceptive. This connection in general could be one where it is wise to trust each other. Maybe you hurt each other.
If you have no history with this person, or this person seems very charming, this is intentional. They could be trying to get into your pants. But in a gross, conquest-y way. Furthermore, the one card that didn't mention tricky energy, talked about being naive and getting caught in a trap...so yeah. No need to belabor the point but this person could be trying to craft the perfect image or relationship to get what they want.
Finally, for some of you, this person is aware they are toxic. They could know it is time to heal. Maybe you even left them because they needed to get it together. They are numb. They are so torn between choosing their vices and choosing to get better. This could be living a party lifestyle vs. getting into rehab. Or being a player vs. going to therapy. I don't think this started with you. If they aren't at rock bottom yet, they are headed there. They know this. They are about to burst so they need to choose. Get better/do better or be consumed by their inner demons.
For some of you, this person feels iced out by you but it is probably by choice. They could change and do better and get you back. Its killing them inside that you are apart, but they have to decide whether are willing to do what it takes to deserve you.
TL;DR: This person feels possessive over you. They also could be vindictive. For example, they may have rejected you in a cruel way. Or they feel you did that. This could be a painful connection for both of you. This person could have a lot of vices that they need to battle. For some, you are dealing with a player who is on a mission. If they are super charming and seem too good to be true, they are. They could be trying to say and do all the right things to get what they want. They could think there are many hidden layers to this connection. There is a lack of trust or they are aware of their deceptive behavior.
This is the final reading from the poll. Which means another poll is otw.
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Keep an eye out 👁‍🗨👄👁
~ K
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sunny44 · 6 months
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All these years (Part 10)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Ex girlfriend Reader
Warnings: just fluff stuff
Summary: Separated by a disagreement, Charles and Y/n meet again after years apart and all the feelings they had repressed come flooding back.
Previous Chapter
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The sun in Maranello shone brightly on that Sunday morning as Charles and I got ready to head out. Charles, Matilda, and I were dressed in Ferrari gear, ready for the race.
Matilda wore her tiny Ferrari jumpsuit, looking around the room with curious eyes as we gathered our things to leave.
Charles laughed, adjusting Matilda's tiny Ferrari cap on her head.
"Ready for your first race, little champion?"
I smiled at the scene and took the opportunity to capture a photo of the two of them, seizing a moment when they were both smiling, their dimples showing.
"She's going to steal the show today, Charles," I said. He smiled.
"Well, she's got the Leclerc charm."
With Matilda securely strapped into her car seat, we headed to the famous Monza racetrack. We could have stayed closer, but Charles needed to attend to some matters at the factory, which was why we were in Maranello.
Arriving at Monza, the vibrant atmosphere of the racetrack was contagious. Matilda was nestled in Charles's arms, and her curious eyes took in everything around her. We took a detour behind the paddock since she was still very young, and we didn't want her to be startled by all the fans' cheering. Surprisingly, she seemed to be embracing it all, laughing as we walked through the paddock with people shouting around.
Fred saw us and smiled, coming over.
"You're the spitting image of your dad, you know," he said to her, and she smiled, reaching out her arms to him. "And you've got your mom's charisma."
"How are you, Fred?"
"Better now with our top fan here," he said, looking at her. "Glad you could make it."
"Yeah, I missed all of this."
"And how's life as a mom been?"
"It's been great, actually. She's hardly any trouble, and it's been much better than I imagined."
"Good to know," he smiled, handing her back to Charles. "See you in the garage in a bit. Take care." We said our goodbyes and continued walking.
"She's definitely your number one fan."
"I'm sure of that too."
In the Ferrari box, Charles, now in his racing suit, held Matilda as he discussed strategy with his team. I captured spontaneous photos of the two amidst the focused energy of the team preparing for the race.
The moment arrived for the race to begin, and Matilda was so tired that she was dozing off in her stroller while I watched the cars line up on the grid on the TVs in the garage. The anticipation in the air was palpable as the engines roared to life, signaling the start of the race.
It was an epic race, with Charles finishing first, followed by Lewis and Max. Mati was already awake, so we went to the fences to watch the podium. The team's staff surrounded us, protecting us from the crowd, and I deeply appreciated them for doing so.
When they called his name, everyone started shouting, and even with the noise-canceling headphones, she saw everything and started screaming and waving her arms joyfully as soon as she saw her dad up there.
Charles was already very happy, but as soon as he saw her, his smile widened even more.
After the trophy presentation and the champagne shower, Matilda and I returned to the garage. Since it was time for her to eat again, I sat on Charles's bed and began breastfeeding her.
"Hi, my love." He came in all wet and smiled upon seeing his almost asleep baby nursing at the same time. "Looks like someone's tired."
"Yeah, she held up really well. She even slept for about half an hour during the race, but it was a restless sleep, so I don't think she rested much."
"You have no idea how happy I am that you two are here, having you both with me, and seeing her cheer excitedly from up there was the highlight of my weekend."
"We're happy to be here too. I missed all of this," I smiled at him and felt that Matilda had fallen asleep, so I laid her down and left him halfway up in case she threw up.
"Well, I'm going to take a shower, do the interviews, and then we can go out for dinner if you want." He gave me a peck and went into the bathroom.
I lay on his bed and adjusted Matilda on my chest, took a picture of her there, and started checking social media to distract myself.
After finishing all the commitments, our day ended with a family dinner at a small restaurant, and then we returned to the hotel to sleep and headed back to Monaco the next day.
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Bonus scene!
Yourusername instagram post
“Matilda’s first race.”
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Tag list: @formulas-bitch @nuggetvirgo @lndonrris @cmleitora @janeholt3 @coffeewhore18 @blueflorals @agentadhd @eviethetheatrefreak @honethatty12 @lec-16 @ariamox @boherahpsody @ssararuffoni @leilani13gc @alldaysdreamer @minmira95 @dessxoxsworld @dessxoxsworld @vellicora @meadhbhcavanagh @viramila @lightdragonrayne @morenofilm @millinorrizz @leclercdream @buendiabebeta @ironmaiden1313 @julesandro @ssararuffoni @sialexia @notleclerc @glow-ish @heavengirls111
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eufezco · 11 months
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sister's fiance!Joel x reader
smut ! i've not written a single thing for three months so sorry if this is really bad
You promised yourself it wouldn't happen again but it felt dirty just the way you both looked at each other.
The first time it happened was one night you visited their house hoping to find your sister, but she was still at work. Joel insisted on you waiting for her and told you he didn't mind adding a plate to the table for you. You thanked him deeply and asked for Sarah. You were kinda close with her since you sometimes helped her with homework and looked after her when your sister and her dad went out. Unfortunately, Joel told you Sarah was out for the night as he poured you some wine, so it was just you and him in the house. And thank god because your moans were loud, and your sister would have freaked out watching the scene, as well as Joel helping you to jump on the table and the red wine being spilled on her new white carpet.
The following times were purely lustful. Your sister only crossed your mind when you watched her eyes glowing as she looked at Joel. Not even when you were lying in her bed with her fiancé on top of you and their photos on the bedside table looking directly at you. But as the wedding date kept getting closer, the feeling of regret began to haunt you. But then his strong hands were on your body again, and his lips devoured your neck, and you could hear your sister's car pull into the garage as Joel fucked faster into you with one of his hands around your neck as he mumbled into your ear how he wanted you to hold his cum inside when you greeted your sister.
She loved how close you were with Joel. You were even closer to him than she knew, so close that his fingers caressed the inside of your thighs while you were at the table, a very risky move considering that your sister was sitting in front of you two, and then, minutes after, he was on his knees on the bathroom floor, eating you out under the floral skirt you were wearing as you tried to keep it quiet. Your sister truly did love you being close to Joel. She loved that you two could spend some time alone and that it would not be awkward. How was it gonna be awkward when he was shoving his cock down your throat and then bending you over the sink he came to your house to help you fix?
"You didn't open the door for me last night."
"I told you this can't go on, Joel."
He was standing behind you, with his hands in his pockets and his back leaning against one of the doors of the restrooms, as he looked carefully at your reflection in the mirror. Three days ago was his bachelor party. He told you that it was not going to be anything special, just a couple of drinks with his brother and some friends, and then he'd be home.
You didn't think he meant your home.
You hadn't seen each other since then. He has been busy with the wedding and you thought it would be best if you two stopped seeing each other as soon as possible.
"You've said that so many times it's meaningless at this point."
You softly shook your head in disagreement with his words. You shook your hands before grabbing a piece of paper to dry them off as you turned to face Joel. He had that devilish smirk on his lips.
"I'm being serious, Joel. I don't know what else you want from me. This has been fun but also wrong. You're marrying my sister in less than an hour yet you're here–”
"And that tells you nothing, huh?"
"Joel." You stopped him there. He was going to marry your sister. You didn't care if you had to disappear from the country or join a convent and become a nun, but he was going to put that ring on your sister's finger. With his hands still inside his pockets and his eyes locked on the floor, he approached you. Slowly walking and giving you enough time to try and escape him, but poor you. You ended up trapped in between the sink behind you and Joel's body.
"This dress looks amazing on you." You avoided eye contact with him. He played with the thin strap on your shoulder. He had you where he wanted, with no escape. "You know I helped your sister to choose it?" It was hard to breathe with him so close, and all that came through your nostrils was his intoxicating perfume. "All I could think about when she was showing me those stupid bridesmaids' dresses was how they would look on you, and I knew this would be the best one."
"Joel–" You let out his name in a sigh.
"And I was right because–fuck" Joel chuckled in mid-sentence. Before he could finish, your lips were already on his.
The kiss was messy, and you hesitated about where to place your hands; only two seemed too little for how much you needed to touch him. You tugged at the root of his hair, destroying the hairdresser's work, and then you moved them to squeeze both of his cheeks to deepen the kiss as much as possible. But your hands ended up focusing on taking off his suit jacket, and then your fingers skillfully started to unbutton his shirt. It was easy for Joel to slide your panties down your legs and turn you around to face the mirror.
You bent over the countertop, resting your entire upper body on it and making your ass fully at his disposal. Joel unzipped his pants and pulled down his underwear just enough to free his cock. One of his hands wrapped around his shaft, stroking himself as he let out a groan, and with his other hand, he caressed one of your ass cheeks. You spread your legs apart and Joel teased your wet hole with his tip before finally pushing himself inside of you.
You both let out a moan at the same time when Joel bottomed you. He pressed his chest against your back, his hips thrusting hard into you and his fingers digging into your skin there to keep you in place. You tried your best to quiet your moans, but there were times when you couldn't help but let out some whimpers and curses. Joel had to move one of his hands to wrap his fingers around your neck, not to choke you but to make you throw your head back.
"That should be you wearing the white dress. It should be you who—fuck, It should be you who I wait for at the altar." Joel groaned in your ear as his hips kept hammering into you. He hid his face in the crook of your neck, sucking on your sensitive skin there.
You would never tell him how much you liked hearing that, the reaction his words had on you, and the way you would have loved to tell him that you felt the same way. But he had a duty to your sister; you both had to make that sacrifice for all the damage you had caused her without her knowing it.
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m-ayo-o · 5 months
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i t s ⋆ w r i t t e n ⋆ i n ⋆ t h e ⋆ s t a r s ⋆
zodiac event : reader x 21+ CAPRICORN MEGUMI FUSHIGURO ♑︎ genre : fluff, discussing horoscopes note : this one isn't reader oriented but the rest hopefully will be a little :3 thank u for sending rqs + waiting! wc : 1k
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“Megumiiii~?”
You call his name while he sits snugly on a comfy chair in your living room. He doesn't even look up from his book to grunt his reply- he already knows you're A, going to ask for a favour or B, say something kind of dumb.
“Mm?”
You sit between his legs, draping your arms over his knees, waiting to see if he'll even put his book down.
“Do you know your star sign?”
There's a little pause– his eyes shift from side to side.
“No”
“Well, I thought it could be fun… to look at ours together?”
He graces you with a mild Fushiguro glare, followed by a slight eyebrow raise.
“Did you?”
You get a little huff now, like you're interrupting him unnecessarily.
~
With a little coaxing, and promising that it won't take too long, you're kneeling on the carpet between his legs with your astrology book spread open.
You flick through the pages, showing him all the mystical signs, their associated creatures and enchanting descriptions.
It's safe to say that he is showing very little interest in the information thus far– you look up at him now and then to witness that vacant stare, as if he's busy plotting how he'll make you pay for wasting his time.
Then you find the page you're looking for, opening the book wide to show him the mythical sea goat that you're getting quite excited about. It is pretty cute.
“Capricorn!! This is you, Megumi!”
You beam, now sitting up to clamber onto his lap. He invites you in, circling his arms around your waist with the book propped on your knees so you can both see.
All the diagrams and charts are just so interesting and magical to you.
“And what do Capricorns do?”
He indulges you, holding you close, seemingly enjoying the heat from your body more than anything else.
“So,” you start reading through, finding a section listing the traits of the sign, “they're dedicated, hard working, logical…”
Of course, none of this is news to you.
“Intense,” you give him a coy smile, which earns you an eye roll. Not even a little smile.
“Stubborn,” you nod, insisting that he look at the page, as if for proof.
You skim to a section listing their worst traits, tracing your index finger over the words.
“Unimaginative,” your eyes shift to his after each addition, “critical–” you pause, feeling a little hesitant to say this last one, “unemotional.”
You know he really does put in a marked effort to show you how he's feeling. Telling you is another matter entirely. But you have learned, through his actions you can read him. It was slow, and you have disagreements, sure, but you're gradually coming to understand each other's language.
His glaring has got a bit more intense than earlier, black brows starting to arch into a frown.
“Don't you think that's enough about Capricorns?”
“No, no–” he tries to take the book from you but you're intent on finishing his page, “we didn't get to the best part!!”
“And what might that be?”
He releases the book again after you give him your best pouty face that makes him all soft.
“Capricorns in love”
“But I already know–”
You give him a peck on the cheek, which makes him melt a little more. He sighs deeply and lets you continue.
You skim to the section that specifically refers to Capricorn men in romantic relationships.
“When he dates– he– seeks a– mate!!”
You read aloud parts that make you giggle.
“He can be shy, but incredibly romantic~” you hum with pleasure, knowing this to be completely true.
And you come to a section that makes you blush and pause for a moment. He tilts his head away from your neck and peers down at the book.
“What's the matter, you want me to read this bit?”
“Um–” it's got you flustered.
“Capricorn men have strong sexual stamina.”
You can't deny it.
You see a little smile tug at his lips. You think he might like this part. He reads the rest aloud, telling you all about the sensual and passionate love making tendencies of his sign, and by the time he's done your face is pink from the bridge of your nose to the tip of your ears.
“What do you think?”
He whispers into the shell of your ear, being overly seductive on purpose just to wind you up.
“You think that's right?”
He sucks on your earlobe and places a few warm kisses on your neck. He swears you're about to burst into flames, or melt into some kind of fiery magma, with how hot you're getting.
“Y-yes- I knew that anyway–”
“That's what I was telling you, sweetheart. This book is a waste of time–”
He slips it out of your hands and closes it, carefully placing it on the coffee table.
He turns back to you with a little smile, bringing his lips to yours and slowly showing you all of those deep and romantic behaviours you were just reading about. Everything he does for you shows you that, without a doubt, he is utterly infatuated. And, he may not say it right now, but he's willing to take this all the way. He sees a future with you.
But you're happy with the unwavering support, the protection, how you can rely on him, and how open he's become with you. It makes you feel so lucky that you get to see so many sides of him, and you swear you'll never take it for granted.
You're happy that you can trust every word that he speaks.
And when he tells you he loves you, you know he means it.
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megumi | m.list | zodiac event
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caram3ll0tr1x · 7 months
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She's mine!
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Fyolai (Fyodor, Nikolai) x fem!reader Smut/18+ Fingering+Threesome+A little Fyolai gayness+etc (I will not sit here and try to list whatever sexual shit I've written in this that has a name) My knowledge of the BSD characters derives mostly from what people talk about, so if their characteristics/personalities are off, I apologize. Again, the writing is a little rushed.. -Trixie 🌸
Nikolai pulled you onto his lap, grinning like a child that had just recieved a new toy. Fyodor rolled his eyes but let him take you without objections.
"Y/n! Y/n!" the excited male said, tugging on your shirt. 
"Hm?" you said, tilting your head towards him. 
Nikolai smiled wildly, pushing your hair out of your face and holding your chin up. "Can I kiss you?"
You answered with a nod and were pulled into a passionate kiss with no sort of indication. You quickly rightened yourself, wrapping your arms around his neck. His lips parted slightly and his tongue nudged your mouth, suggesting you open it. When you did, you felt your saliva mix with his as his tongue traced your lips, your teeth. 
Your hair was pulled back and mouth clamped itself around your neck, sucking. Fyodor's legs slowly wrapped around your waist as he made himself comfortable on Nikolai's lap as well. A sort of guttural moan vibrated in your throat as hands groped at your chest. 
Nikolai pulled back, raising an eyebrow at the man sitting behind you. "I want her to myself!" he whined, crossing his arms. 
Your wiped at your mouth, deciding you didn't feel like having your face being covered in saliva. The two men bickered, fighting for you. You were indifferent about this as it was something quite normal that happened nearly every time you were around the two. Perhaps even when you weren't. 
It was irritating, however, and you found yourself growing impatient as Fyodor's hands dropped from your breasts. You scooted off of Nikolai's lap and untangled yourself from Fyodor's legs—an action that did not go unnoticed by the two. They stopped suddenly, and almost synchronizingly pulled you back onto them, forgetting their arguing for a moment. 
"Where are you going, little dove~?" Nikolai asked, hugging you to his chest. "Don't leave just yet!"
Fyodor made a noise of agreement, scooting closer to you on Nikolai's lap. He tangled his hand in your hair and pulled your face to meet his, kissing you deeply, not letting you go. Your body was twisted in a way so Fyodor could kiss you but your body was facing the other way, towards Nikolai who tugged at the waist-band of your shorts. 
"Mm," you groaned, as his hand made its way down, lightly pushing on your clothed cunt.
"Needy slut," he whispered, slapping Fyodor's hand away so he could kiss you. 
Fyodor grumbled and pulled your waist towards himself, biting your neck lightly. You gasped in surprise, your body leaning towards the brunet. Nikolai blubbured as Fyodor took you into his own arms, away from the albino male.
"Don't hog her like a pig," Fyodor spat, turning your head to kiss him. 
You ignored the way they glared at each other, deciding you wouldn't let their disagreements ruin your pleasure. You tugged on Nikolai's arm, pulling his hand back towards your crotch. You let your mouth explore Fyodor's, taking in his breath. 
Nikolai giggled as you made him touch you, finding it childishly amusing. His hands danced over your pussy expertly, eventually pushing your shorts off of you as you started getting impatient.
Fyodor peppered your neck with kisses, lifting your shirt and kissing your back. Nikolai pulled your shirt over your head and Fyodor played with the straps of your bra for a beat, then unclipped it and let it fall onto your lap. 
He cupped your breasts from behind, massaging them tenderly. You pressed your lips together, muffling your moans, as Nikolai kissed your stomach. Fyodor lifted his hand to part your mouth. "Don't hide it," he said, whispering in your ear. 
You shivered but nodded, letting out a gasping whimper as Nikolai—whom you'd nearly forgotten about, as Fyodor had taken your attention—slid his fingers into your clit, pushing your underwear to the side. 
"'S so wet," he murmured, his fingers roaming freely. 
You clutched onto Fyodor's arms, then, clenching your lush pink walls around Nikolai's hand. "Fuck," you moaned, closing your eyes tightly. "Why are your fing..ah~!" Your back arched slightly as the two fingers he'd inserted parted in a scissoring act. 
Fyodor nibbled at your ear gently, almost assuringly, his hands continuing to knead your breasts. Nikolai giggled, pushing a third finger through. "What were you saying, my love~?"
You huffed in slight irritation, though with a small touch of pleasure laced through it, and pouted. "Your.. fingers are so fucking long," you whispered, flinching as he pushed a fourth finger through. 
"Is this too much?" he purred, kissing your lips with a harsh bite. 
You shook your head, burying your face in his shoulder. Fyodor placed kisses down your spine, making you tremble. He reached your hip-bone and stopped, suddenly, placing both hands on your hips. 
Nikolai shifted his fingers in you, pushing carefully, without pity. You let out a gasping moan, your legs tightening around his hips. Fyodor traced the curves of your body with his careful, flitting hands, roaming over your thighs. 
You trembled as Nikolai continued to finger you in an almost hurried way. He kissed your jaw, continuing to slip his fingers in and out of your pussy. You moaned, feeling your body melt in his actions, moving on it's own accord. 
Fyodor cocked an eyebrow and said, almost threateningly, "Are you going to let me have her for once?" 
Nikolai rolled his eyes. "You had her last time, Dos-kun!" 
"So? You took over after half way through!"
Nikolai pouted. "Fine.."
Fyodor gave him a smug look, though you were barely paying attention in your lewd mess of moans and groans. But then Nikolai abruptly pulled his hand away and you whined desperately. 
"I was close..!" you said, a look of dismay and lust drawing your features. 
Fyodor fumbled with his clothes, pulling them off of himself until he was completely bare. He sat back down on Nikolai's lap and turned your towards himself. He grabbed your thighs, holding your inner thighs against his palms as he lifts them up and spreading them apart, showing your glistening cunt. 
His erect cock throbbed against your pussy, making you feel more want than before. His eyes scoured your body, drawing lines you couldn't see. His mouth curled in a smirk and he pulled you in for a kiss, your legs sustained up with his arms. 
"How are you feeling today~?" he asked, not in concern but more in question of how hard he must go on you.
Nikolai huffed impatiently, wanting you and waiting for something to happen. Fyodor ignored him, his gaze fixed on your flushed, panting face.
"Do whatever.. just start," you mumbled, wanting desperately for it to start but not wanting to beg—not unless it was absolutely necessary.
"Good answer," he purred, letting your legs fall and positioning his cock near your pussy. "Hm.. must we use lubricant? You're already so wet.."
Nikolai smiled suggestively. He opened his mouth and lead Fyodor's hand to it. 
Fyodor raised an eyebrow but said nothing more, dipping his fingers into Nikolai's mouth, swirling it around and gathering his saliva into his hand. Then, he coated his erection with the sticky liquid, groaning under his breath as he did. 
Nikolai looked pleased of himself to have helped and watching in anticipation as you braced yourself. Fyodor placed the head of his cock to the folds of your clit, pausing for a moment. He looked you in the eye, gazing at your expression, then slammed into you with a grunt making you practically scream. 
Nikolai's hands wrapped around your mouth as Fyodor continued fucking you mercilessly, muffling your whimpers. Your pussy tightened around Fyodor's dick, and he gripped tightly onto your thighs, straining to get comfortable. 
"Fuck.." he groaned, his pace still fast, aggressive. 
You tilted your head back into Nikolai's arms, gripping onto Fyodor's shoulders. You tried to bite the albino's hands but he pulled them away with a dignified huff. 
"Naughty girl," he said, bating at your head. 
You didn't respond, gasping for breath as Fyodor continued, not having minded any of that. His hips moved quickly, pushing further into you, somehow, with each thrust. Nikolai grasped at your hands, pulling them behind your back as a matter of pettiness, annoyed you'd tried to bite him. 
You struggled to free your arms but your body was weak and hot with both pleasure and pain and you were unable to. Nikolai, using his hands to hold both of yours, started kissing your neck, doing similar to what Fyodor had been, giving you hickey's along your body. 
You moaned at mercy of the two men, your back arching as you felt yourself close to stimulation, your legs shaky. Fyodor didn't stop when you came, as he never did; he often ended up prioritizing his own pleasures than tending to you.
Nikolai bit your shoulder, making you shudder, trying to move away. He ignored you, releasing your hands to wrap his arms around your chest and play with your tits, fondling them. Fyodor thrust into you rather hard, suddenly, and you whimpered. You felt him release into you and both your bodies seemed to relax then. He didn't pull out just yet, however, though his cock grew soft. He pulled you in for a kiss and Nikolai decided he wanted to join, so when Fyodor pulled away, he kissed him, leaving you sandwiched in between the two. 
Nikolai turned you around, then, and you noticed a bulge in his pants. You swallowed and Nikolai smirked, following your gaze. "Hope you don't mind getting pregnant, love," he whispered. 
You felt Fyodor's bare arms wrap around your shoulders and you leaned against him for support, knowing that wasn't what you were going to get. You could already feel his cock erect, again, and pushing against the plush of your ass. 
Nikolai's smile grew. "Because I don't think your medication will work now."
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kiskisur · 9 months
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ᝰ.ᐟ I'm scared.
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req: May i request lyney agnst like argument type of agsnt 🙏🏼🙏🏼 !!
warnings: angst with no comfort, gn!reader x lyney, no specific pronouns just "you"!
note: honestly? I love angst. A LOT so writing this hurt and made my mood so much better 🤭🤭🤭
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You and Lyney were the couple everyone admired, known for your impeccable harmony in both public and private. But even the most seemingly perfect relationships can unravel in the face of unexpected challenges.
On an ordinary day, a trivial issue about you talking to your manager ignited an argument that spiraled out of control. Lyney's intuition picked up on the tension, and a once-loving conversation turned into a bitter clash of perspectives.
As the disagreement escalated, the emotions that had been buried emerged with a vengeance. Lyney's violet eyes, usually so understanding, now held a mixture of frustration and hurt. Your connection, once a source of strength, now seemed fragile and strained.
The argument took its toll, leaving both of you emotionally drained and distant. In this alternate reality, there was no heartwarming resolution, no laughter to break the tension. Instead, the sadness lingered, casting a shadow over your once-perfect relationship.
Lyney's harsh words reverberated in the air, hitting you like a punch to the gut. "Why did I even date you?" his voice carried a mixture of anger and disappointment, and it felt like a dagger through your heart.
Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision. His words stung deeply, and the tear-shaped mark on his cheek seemed to mirror the pain inside you. The person you trusted the most had just questioned your entire relationship.
Your chest tightened, and you struggled to breathe as the weight of his words settled in. How did you go from being the couple everyone admired to this? The laughter and love you once shared felt like distant memories in the face of this hurtful argument.
You wiped away a tear, your vision clearing just enough to see the hurt in Lyney's violet eyes. It was a pain you never wanted to be the cause of, especially not from someone who had been your rock. The room seemed to close in around you, the walls echoing the shattered state of your connection.
The words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating.
ᝰ.ᐟ it feels like you don't care.
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tanadrin · 2 months
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Are you totally against the concept of evil?
In the sense that "evil" is a value judgement, being "against the concept of evil" is like being "against the concept of stinky." People have their opinions about what they think is evil and what they think is not, just like they have their opinions about what they think smells good and what they think smells bad. Indeed, in this sense "evil" is just a particularly strong condemnation of things we find morally bad.
That said, as a value judgement, I don't find it a very useful one. Even among people who profess to want to think deeply about difficult moral questions, when the word "evil" is raised, it is being used as a thought-terminating cliche, a signpost that says "I am unwilling to be challenged on this opinion further." Like, I see this a lot in rat-adj types here on tumblr who would balk at you shutting down a conversation on sexual ethics or economics or recreational drug use with a cry of "evil!" using it the exact same way when it comes to their own ethical bugbears.
And the reason that a cry of "evil!" shuts down conversations more than even other pure value judgements is that it doesn't appeal to anything, except an affective sense of ethics. If I say (for example) "legalizing weed would be bad, because of consequentialist concerns X, Y, and Z," or "foreign military intervention is bad, because we ought to adopt a strong deontological rule against violating other states' sovereignty," then you might disagree, but at least there is a conceptual basis for our disagreement. If we want to have a conversation about it, we could; it might be a frustrating conversation where neither convinces the other, but we can at least understand each other in principle, even if we continue to disagree quite strongly.
But if I say, "we cannot legalize weed, because doing drugs is evil," or "we should disband the American military, because the Pentagon is evil," what is there to discuss? We're no longer talking about beliefs about the world, just attitudes. If someone thinks I am or believe something that is evil, what am I supposed to do with that? Yelling "you are evil," or "you believe evil things" is not going to change anybody's mind. It's not going to shock them out of their moral complacency, they're not gonna think "oh, this person think I am a bad person, I should really care what they think." Of course not! They're gonna think "oh, this person is an asshole," or, even less productively, "no, you're evil!", and the traditional way of resolving those kinds of conflicts is burning an entire continent to the ground.
Nowadays, we mostly just have shitty flame wars, but those are still kind of unpleasant and I would prefer to avoid them. I can't tell you or anybody else how to use language or how to think, but if someone were asking my advice, I would say: when you have the reflexive feeling of outrage and disgust that you associate with "evil," it's worth reflecting on 1) what your actual moral objection is, and 2) the reason why someone might actually believe or do something you think is evil. And that's not "because they're evil." Again, that is a value judgement, not an explanation! No one goes around thinking to themselves, "today I shall be evil because I love evil."
I must emphasize that making value judgements is not bad. Making value judgements is a necessary component of living in the world and thinking about ethics and caring about other people. But on the basis that "evil" seems particularly prone to being reified as an objective force in the world, and a value judgement that suffices for and replaces actual understanding, I have made a self-conscious effort to exclude it from my analytical vocabulary.
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