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#I am shaking so bad and I don't know what to do
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Every Part of You
Pairing - Grumpy!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader A.N. - Alright, I've been asked to write about Bucky and Sunshine's first time many, many times. And the thing is, like sure, I could write that, but also I want us to take a moment to consider trying to build up to that. There's so many firsts buried in there that I think need to be navigated through before they even get there. This is one of those firsts. Like the first time you see Bucky's shoulder.
Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Grumpy Sunshine Series
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"You're just- " You stop speaking, searching for his lips again. Though you're breathless, you can't bring yourself to pull away from him, "You're so pretty."
You shudder as you feel his hand slip under your sweater. The occasional graze of the cool metal on your skin enough to send shivers down your spine.
His lips trail down, nipping at your jaw, "I'm not pretty."
Your hands, winded in the hair at the nape of his neck, glide down his neck, to clutch the fabric of his henley. The moment he feels your fingers toy with the collar of his shirt, his heart hammers against his ribcage. Not in the sort of way that he usually feels in these moments with you. He feels a sense of dread, of panic. It wraps around his spine like a python. It feels like he can't breathe.
"You're so -"
He wrenches away from you, his chest heaving, "Stop, stop, stop."
You freeze, immediately dropping your hands. Panic starts creeping up your throat, coating your words. "Did I - did I do something wrong?"
He gulps, silently shaking his head. It takes him a moment to regain his composure, to regain the ability to speak clearly, "No, no, you're - you're perfect."
Guilt starts to eat at him. He can see you doing your very best to keep your own feelings off your face. He can see the sting of his rejection in the way your lips press together in a tight line. The embarrassment in the pallor of your once flushed cheeks.
You two have worked so hard to overcome your own personal issues and traumas, to build trust in each other, moments like these hadn't come easy. And he so callously pushed you away, it makes him feel worse. And what makes his heart ache even more, he sees nothing but concern for him shining in your eyes. You just look so worried for him.
Your hands rest in your lap. You twist and untwist your fingers. "If you don't want to, we don't - we don't have to do anything. I'm really sorry -"
"No, no, please don't be sorry." He reaches for you, gently squeezing your hand. It soothes him as much as it does you. "I want to. You don't know how much I want to."
"But?"
His eyes squeeze shut. He can't bring himself to meet your eyes. "You haven't seen it before - my arm, my shoulder."
"Oh."
He drops your hand. That feeling takes over him again. It feels like there's not enough air in the room. He slides away from you, closer to the edge of the tiny couch in your apartment. "It's - I am not pretty."
It breaks your heart, watching him pull away from you. You can only imagine how many people have turned away from him before. "James..."
He fervently shakes his head, refusing to open his eyes, "No, no, I know what you're gonna say, but it's bad. A lot worse than you're thinking."
"How do you know what I'm thinking?"
"It's bad," he insists. "I see it every day and I can barely - it's just bad, okay?"
You take his hand, squeezing it tightly. "It's okay if you don't want me to see it. I understand."
He finally opens his eyes again as his eyebrows pull together. He still doesn't meet your eye. "No, no, I want to - I trust you with this, I do. I just - I want you to be prepared."
In that moment, you realize that it's not really about preparing you. Not at all.
He thinks you're going to react badly. He thinks that this will make you turn away from him for the first time ever. He's worried that the love and adoration in your eyes will turn to disgust and repulsion.
It's less about preparing you for the scarred flesh, and more about warning you that he couldn't take a bad reaction. He's not sure he could take it if you turned away from him too.
"I love you," you promise him. "There's nothing that you could show me that would change that. I hope you know that."
There is no response to that. And you know that he won't believe it until he sees it. It takes him a moment. His hand toys with the hem of his shirt. His hand grips the hem, only to let it go.
"I love you," you remind him.
He takes a large gulp of air, pulling off his shirt with one quick movement.
You weren't really sure what you were expecting. You knew the story. You knew how Bucky lost his arm. He even confided the bits and pieces he remembered from getting his vibranium arm.
Your eyes trail over his skin. The shoulder is scarred, scars jut in every direction. Each scar is etched into his skin. It's clear it was a painful, violent experience for him. The metal plate protrudes from the scar tissue in a way that you're sure was painful when first placed. You look on with curiosity, you're not really sure how this, a sign of survival, a badge of resilience, could ever make anyone turn away from him.
He's as breathtaking as you could ever imagine.
Your eyes flicker up at him. He looks at the blank wall of your apartment, scared to watch your facial expressions as you take it in. "Can I?"
He nods, barely able to look you in the eyes. He sucks in a breath when your fingers make contact with the scar tissue surrounding the metal plate.
You immediately pull your fingers back, worried you've accidentally hurt him. "Does it hurt?"
"No," he answers reflexively.
You know he's lying. "I've seen you holding your shoulder before - holding it like it hurts."
"Sometimes," he amends. "The doctor said there's a lot of nerve damage. Things they can't fix."
"Does it hurt now?"
"No."
You run your hand over the plate, over his scars, down to his shoulder blade.
"Still think I'm pretty?" he sarcastically remarks.
You press a gentle kiss to his bare shoulder. "I'll always think you're pretty. Every part of you."
Bucky Barnes Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist
Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛
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lilliancdoodles · 1 day
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FitMC quote book (feel free to add on) Inspired by @hepbaestus
"Your ass is grass and Ramon is the weed wacker"
"im not white im olive"
"I know the Geneva Convention is more like a Geneva Suggestion but.."
"im just a silly little bald boy"
"IT MEANS PUSSY?????????" (no idea what this context is XD)
"if you disable mines you are disrespecting the entire Hispanic community"
“ARE YOU TRYING TO GIRLBOSS GASLIGHT ME?”
"when im cold I don't joke about murdering children, but thats just me"
"Fit it's time to sin with me" -Phil "you're acting like it's the first time" -Fit
"so much sussy Baka activity"
"I broke Jesus's face.."
"Think of me like an American Philza but im bald and a little more fucked up"
"we got spawn camped by tony the fucking tiger"
"I love balls so much"
"im pretty sure if I tried to do puppy eyes I would look like a crack addict"
"Bad, take your shirt off"
"What did kelp stand for again? 'Kill Every Living Person'?"
"I see TNT explosions that are sexy"
"Sneeg, shut up, im doing gay roleplay right now"
"Ill stop shaking my ass ramon, don't drown yourself please"
"I need my gay support slug"
"No one loves lesbians more than fitmc does"
"My sexuality is wario"
"I want to thank my 𝐵𝓇𝒶𝓏𝒾𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓃 𝐵𝑜𝓎𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹"
“The IRS was like ‘We saw you had a new source of income in 2023, care to explain that?’ And I’m like ‘Yeah, gay minecraft roleplay!’”
"Maidenless runt? I HAVE A BRAZILIAN BOYFRIEND BITCH"
"this cave is full of children and I'm god's hungriest Pitbull"
"do emo kids still exist?"
"Pro-wrestling is Hillbilly Shakespeare"
"i'll be a monkey's bare assed uncle"
"Just think about this Phil, in a few days im gonna get my hands on you"
"Hotdogs are gender-fluid in a way"
"guuuuuuurl same"
"I am crazy, and sexually ambiguous enough to do it."
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itsgrimeytime · 2 days
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feelin' flirty || Rick Grimes (TWD) x gn!reader
rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker @zomb-1-egutzz
AVAILABLE ON AO3
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Summary: Being a long-lost friend of Maggie's, you wind up at the prison, a line of dead walkers behind you. You are promptly confronted with one Rick Grimes, and it's suddenly your life's goal to flirt with him as much as you can. Rick doesn't usually respond, but what if one day he does?
TWs: innuendos, talk of sex, shameless (and I mean shameless) flirting, mention of both Beth and Hershel's deaths, gunshot wound, blood, guns, knives, and all things TWD.
[[A/N: Tumblr has deleted this THREE times. I am furious, hello??? Also, someone should've been hardcore flirting with Rick, I'll say it. That's what this is based on. Do I have social anxiety? Yes, but am I still writing this? I am. Don't ask questions. ALSO, I do not know the TWD timeline at all, so I am making it up, thank you. Enjoy :))) ]]
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With one last stab, you finished off the last... zombie? You didn't really call them anything, since you were alone. Maybe you should think about that a little more.
Wordlessly, you turned and stabbed another square in the head. Undead? No. Zombie? No, too cliché-
Another one.
It went on like that for a few more minutes, before you took a breath -with no answer to your question. Frowning at your knife being covered in... guts, for lack of a better word, you crouched down and wiped it on the grass.
What was that, 15? You didn't really count, but you should have. You were trying to get a new personal best actually-
"Hey!"
You froze, pocketing your knife, before spinning on your heel. The voice was fairly distant, so you weren't worried. Instead, close enough for it to matter, was a big building with high walls and barbed wire at the top of them. A prison. Huh.
"Up here!" The voice called again, and you startled.
Shading your eyes from the sun, you looked up into the watchtower, and sure enough, there was a silhouette. A guy, you think, with dark hair. That was about all you could say.
"Yeah?" You called back, curiously.
"That was cool as shit!"
You laughed out, probably for the first time in months, "Thank you, mysterious stranger!"
"Glenn!" He clarified.
Huh, you pursed your lips, before responding, "Y/N!"
"Nice to meet you!"
You laughed again, before feeling a pain in your stomach. When was the last time you'd eaten? You paused, trying to think. Three days ago (there was a box of Twinkies that hadn't expired yet in a stranded supermarket). Not great.
"Hey, Glenn?" You yelled, a little hopeful.
"Yeah?"
You pursed your lips, before deciding -taking a chance, really, "You got any food in there?"
Now, you were walking through the gate, which was a little dramatic. But, you kinda liked it. It felt like you were kind of a big deal, well, until there was a swarm of eyes on you. All different kinds.
You froze, licking across your teeth.
And then, a man ran up to your side -gasping a little. Was that Glenn? How did he-
He offered his hand to shake, and you accepted it -looking at the crowd, a little defensively.
"Are they going to kill me? Or...?"
"Shit," he turned to them, "-They just want some food, guys, c'mon!"
None of them even flinched.
"I don't bite," you joked, before frowning, "-shit. That was in bad taste-"
And then, a voice called out into the tense air.
"Y/N?"
You peeked over heads, looking, because-
Your eyes locked onto hers, and you nearly jumped in place -big smile blooming along your lips, "Holy shit, Mags?!"
You'd been friends, back in high school. You'd left junior year and tried to keep in touch. It just didn't work out. (You can't even remember now if it was her or you who stopped, at this point.)
Before she could so much as reply, you ran to her -arms wide open. She eagerly reciprocated, spinning a little with the force -you'd gotten pretty good at running at this point.
"What the fuck?" You breathed into her shoulder, and she laughed big and loud, "-What are the chances?"
With a thought, you pulled back -still holding her shoulders, "Are your Dad and Beth here?"
"Yeah," she cheered, and something in you felt relieved. Thank god, they were okay.
"And, you?" She offered, a little hesitantly -notable lack at your side.
You pressed your lips together, swallowing, and shook your head, "Been alone since the beginning."
Maggie frowned, hand coming up to rest on your arm and squeezing once.
"Only lived with my boyfriend," you explained, eager to lighten the mood, "-and he actually cheated on me, so. Wasn't the worst lost."
She laughed a little, before asking -carefully, "And your family?"
Something in your chest stung, you wordlessly shook your head. (Visions of unhinged jaws and blood filling it.)
She frowned, whispering her apologies before hugging you again. You leaned into it that time.
And then, you jumped back, excited, "You have to bring me to your family, Mags, it's been so long-"
"Ya 'ave to talk to Rick first," a voice grumbled out behind you.
You spun on your heel, facing a man. Tall, brunette, dark eyes, arms crossed in front of him (strong, you noted), but you could tell in his stance. He was a layer of stone walls, and you did not want to mine.
And then, your eyes smoothed across his back. Is that a fucking crossbow? Sick.
"Whose Rick?" You asked instead, Maggie still holding your arm.
"Whose askin'?"
That, was a good voice. Was your first thought as you turned back around, and your eyes landed on a figure.
Your voice got stuck in your throat.
He was tall, stood like he owned the place (and based on the recommendation, maybe he did), all broad shoulders and strong gaze. Speaking of gaze, he had probably the bluest eyes you'd ever seen. And his hair was brown and curly, a few hung forward on his face. His jaw was unspeakable, and his button-up shirt had a few extra buttons undone to account for the heat. Holy shit.
Maggie elbowed you, and you blinked.
"Uh, me," you answered, clearing your throat -motioning to Glenn, "-he said you had some food and I'm... hungry."
Maggie promptly stomped on your toe. You pressed your lips together trying not to laugh, carefully looking over his face to see if he'd picked up on it at all. Nothing. A shame, really.
Oh well, maybe next time.
"Look, Rick," she interrupted your thoughts, "-I know 'em, really well. Y/N is a good person."
Rick's eyes dipped to you, looking you over. Oh, the words were right there on the tip of your tongue. It would be so easy-
You're trying to survive, Y/N, your mind pressed, focus.
You bit at your lip, but before you could speak for yourself, Glenn did.
"I saw 'em take on a swarm outside," he added, eyes darting to Maggie (Huh.), "-without breaking a sweat."
There are other things I can do without breaking a sweat, your brain immediately remarked, this really was too easy.
Rick seemed to think about it a second, before turning to you, "Ya got a gun?"
I'd like to be loaded with-
"No," you cleared your throat, pulling out your knife (it was one of those multicolored ones, it's why you liked it clean), "-just this."
He hummed, tilting his head with a mouth shrug, "'At's impressive."
I bet your-
You pinched your arm, swallowing, "So, what? Am I in or not?"
Rick's eyes flicked up and down you again (so easy), before he decided, "Ya can stay."
That brings you to now, sitting with Maggie outside with a can of baked beans and a spoon in your hands.
You currently had quite the view of Rick working on the farm, sweat dripping down his brow, strained arms. You'd never thought about farming in that way, but now you were.
"Is his full name Richard?" You asked, curiously.
Maggie turned to you, watching the trail of your eyes to see what you were looking at. She rolled her eyes, "I don't know."
You put a spoonful into your mouth, humming around it, "There's a reason they call them 'Dick', you know."
"Oh my god," she shoved into you -making you laugh a little. You stared down into your can.
"I'm just saying," you stressed, "-he's hot enough for it."
Maggie paused a second, before deciding to say, "His wife died."
"Shit," your smile fell.
"Died in childbirth," she continued, something distant in her eyes -you wondered what exactly it was.
"How long ago?" You asked gently, looking at him in a new light -sympathizing.
"Few months," she answered, a little shortly. You pursed your lips, debating whether to say anything. Or if you even should.
Maggie clarified, herself, "I delivered the baby. Judith, her name is Judith."
"Fuck, Mags," you fully turned to her, putting the can by your feet, "-I'm so sorry."
She took a deep breath in and out, and you wrapped an arm around her shoulders pushing her into your side, "Thanks."
"No problem," you hummed, picking your can back up and letting your eyes drift to Rick again, adding, "-I'm great with babies, you know."
"You're ridiculous," she laughed, taking the bite you offered her.
"What?" You asked, "-Staring isn't bad. He's practically a piece of art, I'm just..."
He turned to the two of you then, blue eyes flickering along your faces -you did not move your gaze at all.
Instead, you gently waved, finishing, "-admiring him."
Rick furrowed his eyebrows for a second, waving back, and then, shaking his head smiling. Count that as a win.
You gnawed at your lip a second, "Do you think he picked up on my 'hungry' thing? I was looking at him and I-"
Maggie laughed, "He definitely did. Everyone did, Y/N, you're shameless."
"It's the apocalypse," you urged, "-who gives a fuck about shame anymore? Rick is hot, and as long as he lets me, I will flirt with him. The more you resist, the more I commit. You remember James in first period?"
She hummed, "I do."
"I chased him for half a year," you continued, swirling the spoon around the can, "-and it worked, didn't it? Guys hardly get properly flattered," your eyes dipped back to him, tone going low, "-I don't mind taking on that duty for the population."
Maggie laughed again, as you just kept your eyes on him. He had dirt on his hands now, wiping at his brow, and just a few curls hung forward on his forehead. God, how did you find him in the apocalypse?
"How valiant," she deadpanned, "-You're a real hero."
"Look, just because you have a type, Glenn, and you bagged him-"
"How did you-"
"Please," you teased, "-he practically ate you earlier with his eyes. Back to my point, I, at least, get to look."
She turned to you, "Ya don't want to date him?"
"Who said that, Mags?" You smirked, turning to her with a smile with eyes that spoke for themselves.
"You know he has kids, right?" She questioned, looking at you.
"So?" you waved the spoon around in your hand, "-Single dads? Hot. Kids? Cute. Where's the loss?"
Maggie looked at you a moment, before shaking her head, "You are clinically insane."
"Maybe," you offered, still watching him, "-but the world's fucked up too. So, at least, I'm not alone."
She laughed really hard at that one, and you felt eyes all over switch to you. Blue ones too. People didn't really seem to laugh around here, so you decided that was your mission too, get people to laugh more. Maybe they could go hand-in-hand.
Time to get to work.
Daryl was sitting across from you, you'd been bugging him for the past few weeks and he'd finally relented. It wasn't easy, but you were nothing if not persistent (hence the Rick situation). Or maybe stubborn. Both? Whatever.
"Daryl, listen," you pointed out, "-you have to take time to load up the bow."
"'At don't mean nothin'," he countered.
"It does," you stressed, explaining, "-in the amount of time it takes you to put in a new arrow, I would have killed at least two."
Daryl rolled his eyes, "It doesn't take 'at long."
"Who said it takes me long to kill two walkers?"
Rick walked by then, and Daryl stopped him.
"Rick, please, take 'em away from me," he spoke out, gruff, but something in you could tell that he wasn't being serious. The guy wasn't half the mystery you expected him to be.
Rick laughed a little at the plea, eyes on you, "What are ya doin' to him?"
"It's not that bad," you laughed, explaining, "-I was just talking about if we were pit against each other to kill the most walkers in a minute. And who would win."
"An' ya want me to help decide?"
"Daryl does," you clarified, "-I am fully confident in my abilities."
Rick laughed a little (another win), "Well, I kno' Daryl's skills, so tell me yours, so it's even."
You bit at your lip, debating. God, it would be so easy. All you had to do was-
"Well," you smiled, playfully, "-I'm told I'm very good with my hands."
He blinked, and it was silent a moment before you heard a snort beside you. You immediately flung to look at him, you had just made Daryl laugh-
"No way," you stressed out, throwing yourself to your feet -pointing at him, "-you just laughed at me."
Daryl pressed his lips together into a thin line, sniffing once, "No, I didn't."
You spun to Rick, and he was already looking at you, you didn't think about it too much.
"Rick," you begged, "-c'mon. I know you and him are like... buddies, but I-"
"Buddies?" He quirked a brow, smiling. Something stirred in your stomach.
"Look, I don't fucking know," you rolled your eyes, "-just agree with me."
He bit down a smile at you, before turning to Daryl, "Ya did laugh at 'em."
"Ha," you cheered, "-I made Daryl Dixon laugh. And, I would win against you."
"He didn't say 'at," Daryl instantly defended.
"Didn't have to, Dixon," you mocked, playfully, "-it's about time management."
"Time management?" Rick questioned curiously.
"Okay, think of this, Rick," you explained, leveling him with your full focus (god he was handsome), "-when you fight with a bow, or a gun for that matter, you have to reload."
He grinned a little at you.
"Follow me, follow me," you hummed, pulling out your knife, "-when you have a physical sort of attack method, like a knife, you don't have that same time issue."
"Ya kinda do though," he interjected.
You paused, looking at him -thoughtfully, "How so?"
"Body's gotta build up energy again," he reasoned (with too much thought for this dumb conversation, smart too? god has favorites), "-Stamina is key to attackin'."
You rolled your lip in between your teeth, he had to be doing this on purpose at this point. Seriously.
"Trust me, sheriff," you spoke -a teeny bit teasing but otherwise very genuine, "-there is no problem with my stamina."
Rick bit back a laugh, turning his head to the side and smiling. You thought you saw a little red on the tips of his ears. Cute. You were unraveling the layers of one Rick Grimes, that was progress.
Daryl didn't even try to hide it that time, letting a gruff chuckle leave his lips, "'M glad I'm not your focus for 'at."
You patted his shoulder, standing up, "It'll be devastating one day, Robin Hood. Don't come crying to me when it is."
"Did ya just call me Robin Hood?"
Rick laughed at that one, head tilting up to the sky. You smiled wide.
"Look at that," you hummed, proud, "-a two for one. Which-"
They both looked at you, but you stuck to your guns. And you smirked a little.
"-honestly, I would not mind," you added -thoughtfully, "-Think about it, and get back to me."
You walked backward a few steps, watching as Rick smiled at you before turning back to fix his gaze on Daryl. Smiling at the ground, you spun on your heel, and went off to find someone else to pester.
You felt a pair of eyes follow you though, and you maybe grinned a little brighter.
Now, you were wandering off on your own. On your own run, you liked to do that sometimes. Maggie nearly had a heart attack because of it, but what damage you did get was usually minor. Except for once, but that wasn't your fault. Well it was, you smashed a window with your fist to see if you could do it. And you could, which was impressive.
Now, you were strolling through an old novelty store -little knick-knacks. Finding some figurines, you grabbed a superhero one and stashed it away. Your eyes caught on a DVD player, the kind for both music and movies, and you picked it up -turning it over in your hands. Battery powered.
On a mission to find both DVDs and some batteries, you roamed through some aisles -particularly a mug one.
Peeking through at some of them, you paused. Taking your pack off and slipping the DVD player into it (along with the few good DVDs you found, no batteries though) on top of some canned food you'd found, you zipped it up. And with a breath, grabbed a mug.
Smiling big, you made your way out of the store.
When you got back to the prison, Maggie was waiting for you -tapping her feet, anxiously. She was a little like a mother, you weren't sure how you felt about it. But you loved her so, you dealt with it.
"Hey Mags," you cheered, mug handle twisted between your fingers.
She instantly relaxed, eyes scanning you over before dropping to the mug. She frowned.
"Please, tell me-"
"I got some food," you sighed, "-I'm not entirely useless."
She pursed her lips, "And the mug?"
You grinned, holding it up for her to see -tapping your fingers along both sides. Her eyes skimmed over it before she frowned (biting back a smile, you could tell).
"Seriously?" She asked.
"What?" You responded, groaning, "-I can't get gifts?"
She shoved into your side, and before you could take too many steps, you were met with your target -leaning against the fence, few steps from Maggie. Was he waiting for you too?
"Rick," you dropping your hands, particularly to avoid him from reading the text, "-what are you doing here?"
"Ya do 'at a lot?" He asked, a little pointedly. You thought you recognized something a little like worry in it, "-Go off on your own?"
Huh.
"Yeah," you laughed a little, "-you haven't noticed? I've been getting like... half the food we have."
Rick hummed (a little in appreciation) before his eyes dropped to your hands, "And what's 'at?"
"A gift," you extended it to him, unflinchingly.
He pulled himself from his spot on the wall, walking forward and accepting it. His fingers (great fingers, really. Was that weird to say?) wrapping around it, you noticed for a second that your fingers brushed -your breath halted a little in place.
"A mug?" He asked looking at you for a second, eyebrows furrowed.
You took your hand, and spun it around in his hands -brushing his skin against yours, "The other side."
He smiled a little, laughing.
Right there on a rather plain mug, were the words '#1 HOT DAD'.
He bit back a smile, eyes peeking up at you again, "Ya really ain't gonna let 'is go, are ya?"
"Nope," you popped the 'p', before clarifying, "-unless you want me to."
Rick licked a line against his teeth, grinning a little with something in his eye, "Who said 'at?"
"Noted," you smiled back, something fluttering in your chest, "-now, where's Carl? I got him something good."
"Ya got him somethin' too?"
He was looking at you a little curiously, like he was seeing new layers of you. You kind of wanted to squirm a little at his gaze. You were not used to people figuring you out.
You sighed, quickly turning your pack to the front and unzipping it. With a breath, you dug around and pulled out the figurine -Rick's eyes caught on it immediately. A small smile creeping along his mouth.
"He told me once he liked comics," you clarified, clearing your throat, "-figured he would like this. You... You think he will?"
"He'll love it," he answered, something new in his eyes, "-C'mon, I'll take ya to him."
On the way there, he seemed to pause a moment, something on his mind. You patiently waited for him to say it.
"'Saw somethin' else in 'ere," he mindlessly remarked, as the mug swung between his fingers "-What is it?"
"Oh," you pulled your pack foward again, excited, extending the figurine to him for safekeeping (he took it with a smile), "-a DVD player."
You held it in your hands, showing to him.
"Found some DVDs, good ones," you continued, before putting it back in your bag, and accepting the figurine back (your fingers brushed again), "-no batteries though."
Rick hummed, pursing his lips like he was thinking about something. He didn't say a word though.
You didn't have much time to think about it, because a few days after that, the prison fell. You'd escaped with Rick and Carl, but you weren't exactly yourself. Not after everything.
There was Judith, and Maggie, and... and Beth and Hershel. Every day felt like there was bile turning in your stomach; every time you closed your eyes, you saw someone... someone dead.
You were lying against the grass, looking up at the stars -it was still so pretty. Despite it all, the sky was still the same. Bright and twinkly. It was when everyone was on the road, wandering for a place to go. You just couldn't sleep, so you took it upon yourself to just look at the sky. You thought the clouds might be pretty, but the night was a little breathtaking.
"Ya awake?"
You didn't say a word.
"C'mon, Y/N, I know ya are."
"Yeah, I am," you sighed, saying shortly, "-Can't sleep."
There was an echo of footsteps, and then you felt body heat beside you. There was a beat.
"Ya ain't gonna say anythin'?" Rick hummed, turning his head to face you.
You matched his eyes (he's probably more handsome now, honestly), "About what?"
"Me, ya know," he motioned, to your side, "-layin' with ya."
You laughed at him a little, before teasing, "Awe, you miss it, don't you, sheriff?"
"Not a sheriff anymore," he hummed, something a little heavy in his voice.
"Eh," you shrugged, looking back to the stars, "-you still are in my mind."
Rick smiled at you, wordlessly.
Before you added, plainly, "Mostly because I love a man in uniform."
He laughed then, big and bright, and you felt something warm in your chest that you knew but hadn't felt in a while.
You wanted to be genuine, really genuine.
"You are a good man, Rick," you turned to look at him, and he looked straight back, "-We've all done shit we never should've, and maybe it's fucked us up a little bit, moved our path in the wrong direction once or twice, but-"
You looked back up to the sky, still feeling his eyes on you. It was kind of like a dream, like the apocalypse wasn't real for a second, just you and Rick. And maybe you wanted that a lot more than you knew.
"-you've got a big heart, Rick," you finished, soundly, "-And even if sometimes you lose sight of what you're doing, or maybe who you are, that... that doesn't change."
Rick didn't say anything for a moment, words echoing out into the night air. You couldn't find it in yourself to regret them, though. You never really regret what you said these days, there was no reason too.
You really only regret what you didn't say. Maybe to people who aren't around anymore. Your heart sunk a little in your chest, but it felt a little lighter -just a smidgen. (Maybe because of who you were with.)
"I got somethin' for ya," Rick suddenly spoke, sitting up (you followed suit).
You furrowed your eyebrows, "You got me something? When?"
Mindlessly, he replied, "On the last run."
You pursed your lips but waited patiently. He moved over to his pack, unzipping one of his pockets and pulling something out -you couldn't quite see. Trying to peek you moved over a little, but nothing.
With a breath, he stood back up and waltzed over to you (somehow he made walking hot, they needed to research that), extending it forward right into your face.
You blinked, gently taking it into your hands and looking at it closely. It was dark so you couldn't really-
Batteries. He handed you a pack of AA batteries.
"No way," you laughed out, "-you remembered that?"
"I remember a lot of what ya say," he offered casually, and you felt something shoot down your spine. And with a breath, he sat right beside you, so close your knees bumped a little.
Pulling your bag over to you, you dug around in it. You'd kept the DVD player and DVDs, not really with the hope of finding batteries. But, to feel a little human, remember life before.
You'd taken to putting stickers on it when you saw any, so the top of it was covered in an assortment. You ran your fingers over it a second, taking it in, before flipping it over. Popping open the little tab, you let out a breath of relief when it was AAs.
Rick laughed.
"I was going to be so pissed if it wasn't," you spoke, "-you have no idea."
He just looked at you then, in a way you'd seen before but never really thought about. You turned back to your bag, shuffling around to find your stash.
"You want music or a movie?"
"Movie's fine," he hummed, and you still felt his eyes trained solely on you. You tried to shake it off.
"Let's see," you pulled out a few of the movies you had, showing them to Rick, "-I've got... a kid's animated movie, or... a... cheesy romcom!"
Rick stared at you, instead of the movies, before flickering to them.
Rambling, you continued, "I also picked up some horror stuff, but I... I really think that was a bad move on my part."
He laughed again, just looking at you in a way you didn't really know how to label. Or react to. You were kind of a little overwhelmed at the fact that he'd even gotten you the batteries, and then the way he was looking at you-
"Think romcom sounds good," he interrupted your thoughts, scanning over you.
"Alright," you acknowledged, putting the other ones up, and scooting back next to him -not enough to touch. It was a little awkward and you weren't sure how you were going to-
"I don't bite ya know," he quipped, laughing a little.
You turned to him, grinning, "Well maybe I do."
Rick laughed again for a moment, just looking at you. And then he extended out an arm, welcoming you into his side.
You paused a moment, before carefully guiding yourself to slot into him; the back of your head against his shoulder, and his arm wrapped around the back of your shoulders. You brought your knees up, to carefully balance the DVD player (shaped like a little laptop really). A tiny little screen for the two of you to see on. Logistically, that's why you were so close but a part of you thought a little otherwise.
"I don't," you hummed.
"What?"
"I don't bite."
He laughed a little, "Good."
"Unless you want me to-"
And the laughter that filled the night was just between you and him. And maybe in the morning, you were fast asleep on his shoulder and maybe he looked at you a little like you were the greatest thing he'd ever seen and maybe he shushed all the others just to have the moment last even a second longer.
You'd never really know.
Now, you were in Alexandria. You'd gotten Maggie back, you'd gotten Judith back. You were on a new high, and that meant two things. More pestering, and two, flirting with Rick.
You were walking through Alexandria with Maggie, just keeping her on her feet really. She wasn't super pregnant yet, and it was good to be healthy.
"I cannot believe you're pregnant," you mindlessly remarked, holding Judith close to your side.
"I have been," she retorted, "-for a while. Think ya have had time to digest it."
"But, it's like physical proof that you fucked," you commented, "-unprotected, by the way. I know you missed that sex-ed day, but seriously-"
"Carl's proof that Rick fucked," Maggie defended, eyes smoothing over him with a few of his friends.
"Well," you pursed your lips, "-I know that Rick fucked. Just on principle, he's-"
She motioned for you to zip it, "Don't start. I know you are doin' good, which is great. But it also means ya become a lil' unbearable."
"Me? Unbearable?" You turned to Judith, cooing a little, "-Can you believe the nerve of her, Jude?"
Judith smiled at you with her big brown eyes and toothless little mouth. You pinched her cheek, instinctively, "So cute."
"I still can't believe that you're in love with Ri-"
"I told you that in confidence," you interrupted, pointed.
Maggie stuck out her tongue at you and Judith laughed a little at it. Funny faces, right. You could physically see the pregnancy hormones on her face as she cooed at Judith.
You would've said something, but you had just done it yourself.
"Where's your keeper anyway?" You hummed like you'd been stuck with her (you actively searched her out).
"'E's not my keeper," she responded, sternly (mom voice, already?), "-and he's out on run, gettin' supplies."
"If he's not your keeper, how'd you know who I was talking about?"
"You are so-"
Before she could finish such a kind sentence, the two of you were interrupted. A presence waltzing up to your side.
You turned to look who, and-
Your heart lept into your throat. It was Rick, now clean-shaven, and although, you had loved the beard (don't even get you started), his jaw was on full display. Blue, blue eyes. And dipping to his clothes, he was in a damn uniform.
"Look at you, Rick," you complimented, smiling.
"'Heard ya liked a man in uniform," he smiled (a new type of way), and winked. And before you could say a word, he walked forward -past you.
You stuttered to a stop, Maggie right beside you. Blinking you turned to her, and she looked right back at you. And then you both turned to look at Rick, still walking the same way he was.
Turning back forward, you opened your mouth, "Sorry, did that just happen?"
Maggie hummed, pulling you with her, "It did."
"How did I never think of that?"
"Think of what?" She offered, as you smoothed back into a step with her.
You answered, eyebrows furrowing, "That he might flirt back."
She shrugged, "If it helps, I never thought he would."
"I am not against shoving a pregnant woman," you hissed back, with no bite. You never really had any. And you both broke into laughter, as you roamed through Alexandria.
Now, Daryl was leaning against a house as you stood beside him -pestering as always.
"No, listen," you turned to him, attentively, "-it's called fuck, marry, kill-"
"I ain't playing it with ya."
"C'mon, Daryl, it's fun, look-" you flagged down Glenn (who was carrying a box, of what, who knows?), "-Glenn, fuck, marry, kill. Michonne, Carol, and Daryl."
"Easy," he laughed, "-fuck Michonne, marry Carol, and sorry, dude, but kill Daryl."
"See?" You motioned to Glenn, as he walked forward.
"Don't ya 'ave a wife?" Daryl remarked, as Glenn moved along.
"Oh please," you shook your hand dismissively, "-it's all just fun. Just hypothetical scenarios."
"Okay, now," you started over, "-fuck, marry, kill. Deanna-"
"Kill," he answered -unflinchingly.
"See!" you cheered, "-you're getting the hang of it-"
"What are the two of ya doin'?"
You turned to see the one and only Rick Grimes, a little more worn today, which you kind of preferred, still had those bandaids on (how did he make that look hot?), and more casually dressed. In the white t-shirt, we trust.
"I'm teaching Daryl how to play fuck, marry, kill," you answered, eyes solid on him, "-obviously."
Before he could respond, Daryl chimed up, something mischievous in his eyes. You squinted at him, trying to figure it out. And then he opened his mouth.
"I got one," he spoke, a smile teasing on his lips (looking at Rick, directly), "-Y/N, Glenn, and Rosita."
You stared at the eye contact for a moment (everything was so suspicious), before asking, "What am I supposed to do with myself?"
Daryl shrugged, you bit your lip a second.
"I guess I could kill myself, big waste, but-" you paused, "-ooh, wait, I could, like, clone situation fuck myself-"
"Now, 'at would be a sight to see," a low southern drawl interrupted your words, and your voice faltered to a stop.
You turned to him, squinting at him for a second -trying to understand. All he did was wink at you again, and you hated that it made your knees a little wobbly. Especially when he was holding onto the column of the porch, and slightly leaning toward you-
"Before I was so rudely interrupted," you cleared your throat, "-I would marry Glenn, fuck Rosita, and, tragically, kill myself."
Daryl nodded his head, before motioning to Rick, "What 'bout ya?"
"Am I playin'?" He questioned, finger pointing to himself and eyes dashing to you.
"Might as well," you shrugged, "-you're already over here."
He pursed his lips a second like he was thinking, eyes particularly avoiding you, "An' I can't choose one person for two of 'em?"
You swallowed, oh, he was playing dirty.
"Nope," Daryl answered.
And then, he turned into something much softer, something more familiar, "Then, marry Y/N, fuck Rosita, and kill Glenn."
Marry?
Your heart lept into your throat, and your fingers started fidgeting with your shirt -instinctively. How the hell was he winning? I started this game-
"Thought so," Daryl responded.
And out of the corner of your eye, you saw Carol. Her eyes matched yours a second, and you tried to convey how desperate you were to get away from this very scene. Her eyebrows furrowed for a second, but then she spoke.
"Hey, Y/N! Can you come help me with the food?"
"Of course, Carol," you called back, smiling at the two of them, "-sorry, duty calls."
Rick just grinned at you then, like he knew exactly what you were doing. And you were 100% sure he did. Stupid handsome men with stupidly beautiful blue eyes. Ignoring the fact that you physically brushed against him to get off the porch, you frantically caught up to Carol.
You were in the pantry now, gathering ingredients, Carol directing you -naming them as she found them.
"So," she looked at you, "-are you gonna tell me what that was about?"
You pursed your lips, before answering, "Rick's flirting back with me."
Carol raised her eyebrows at you, "Huh."
"And I was teaching Daryl how to play fuck, marry, kill, and he-" you rapted your fingernails along one of the cans, "-and he said he'd marry me. But all... genuine and shit."
"And that's bad?"
"No, no," you shook your head, putting the can into a basket, "-It's not bad. Just... I don't know if he means it."
"You just said that he said it genuinely," Carol pointed out, grabbing another can.
"Well yeah, but-" you scrambled a moment, "-all that time ago, I was flirting genuinely. I mean even though it was playful, it was still genuine."
"And," she connected the dots, "-you're not sure if he's genuine?"
"Yeah," you skimmed along the shelves, gathering the last can she needed.
"Well," she took it from your hand, blue eyes on you softly, "-if it's worth anything, I think he's genuine. And maybe this is his way of showing how he feels about you."
You hummed, wordlessly.
"He's let you flirt with him this long," she continued, bringing a hand up to your shoulder, "-that has to mean something, doesn’t it?"
She had a point.
"Now," she adjusted the basket, "-are you actually going to help me with the food? Or was it just an excuse to run away from Rick?"
You laughed, "I'll help, I'll help. I'm not a total dick. Speaking of-"
She turned to you.
"Do you know if Rick's full name is Richard?"
It was a few weeks later, and they were filled with frustratingly blue winks. And that was one thing, but now you were being stupid. You were stupid.
You'd thought Oh, it'll be just like old times, I'll go out on a run. It'll be so nice-
And now you were walking with a gunshot would, quickly bandaged by a rip of your t-shirt and whatever you had around you. Which in whatever the hell store it was, was not a lot. All you'd managed to find was alcohol so you at least soaked the shirt.
You'd blearily walked all the way home, eyes foggy, and praying that a walker wouldn't come near you. And now you saw it, Alexandria.
"Gabriel," you called, breathlessly, "-Gabriel, please let me in."
You heard him say something but you were delirious. Maybe something with your name? Head fuzzy and eyes bleary, you were coming down from the high of getting somewhere safe. As you waltzed into Alexandria (pain in the abdomen so hot it almost felt numbing), there was a swarm of people around you immediately. Felt like you were back in the prison, when Maggie would be waiting and you think she was now.
"Hey, hey," she chanted, grabbing your face (and you could see her now), "-look at me, Y/N, tell me what the hell happened."
"Some guy, the bitch," you muttered out, a little slurred you think, "-just shot me, because he wanted the last of the damn Campbell soup, who shoots someone for Campbell soup?"
Her eyes dropped to your body, you mindlessly noted that it was sticky. Your eyes dropped too, and saw all the red -so much red.
"I think I lost a lot of blood, Mags."
"Somebody go get Rick, and the doctor, now," she shouted (loud, loud), before turning back to you, "-How the hell did you get here?"
"I walked," you answered simply.
"You walked?" She responded, hands on your shoulders, "-How did you-"
You were safe now, and everything in your body just gave out.
"Adrenaline is a hell of a drug," you hummed, laughing a little, before falling to the ground.
Your head stung from the ground, as Maggie tried to get down by your side -all pregnant belly.
"'S okay, Mags, don't-" you mumbled "-don't hurt yourself."
She frowned, and you thought she might have tears in her eyes, "I have to stay with you, Y/N, whose going to keep you awake-"
"Glenn," you called, and you saw him saunter up to your side, a little slurred, "-take care of 'er, help her sit. Don't worry, Mags, don't worry-"
You heard a slap of footsteps then, quick and brisk, and before you could wonder who, blue eyes and rough hands were guiding your face. He was starting to grow his stubble back, you mindlessly noted.
"Rick," you smiled a little fuzzily, reaching up and patting his face, "-See Mags, Rick'll take care of me."
"Hey, hey," he brought your focus to him, "-keep lookin' at me, okay?"
"Well," you slurred a little, "-'at's not very hard, sheriff."
He turned to the crowd then, voice low and gruff, "What the hell happened?"
You heard Maggie respond then, through sobs, "'Ey said that some guy shot 'em, over a... over some food."
"Didn't even ask if he could have 'em, first. Who does that-"
"Daryl," he motioned -tone low, and he immediately nodded. You watched him leave your eyesight.
Rick instead, brought your face back to him, as you recognized the doctor to be by your side, scrambling with some white stuff.
"Hey, hey, baby," he spoke, low in a whisper, "-I'm 'ere, focus on me. Look at me."
You smiled again, delirious, "You called me baby, that feels nice. Everythin' else burns-"
"I kno', I kno'," he soothed, you felt pressure on your abdomen (hissing in pain, as your eyes got more blurry), "-ya did a good job gettin' back 'ere. To where you're safe. Ya did a good job."
"Just kept walking," you slurred, "-couldn't stop. Wasn't gonna die to some asshole."
Rick laughed then a little, and you felt something a little different than pain. Your hands naturally came to his face, mindlessly rubbing your thumbs against his cheekbones. He's always been so handsome, only gets better with time.
You noticed he leaned into it a little, careful not to hurt you. Yeah, you realized, he was genuine.
God, what if you had missed out on this, with Rick? All because of some stupid can of soup-
"Rick," you started, and he looked at you a little like you held the world, you were the world maybe, "-I think I'm gonna die."
"You're not, no-" he held his hand over yours (it was so warm. Why had you never held his hand?), "-You're not gonna die, baby. You're gonna be fine."
"I'm bleeding," you breathed out, scanning over him, "-Been bleeding the whole time. You're not supposed to bleed that much, Rick."
"Ya ain't gonna die," he repeated, hands gathering your face, "-Look at me, ya ain't dyin'."
Concern clear on his face, you felt the urge to soothe, soothe, soothe-
You looked at him, eyes scanning over his face. He was handsome, yeah, but he was caring, smart, and so, so kind. You wanted to tell him that, see what he'd say. What he'd do.
"'Said that you were a good man, 'at you have a big heart," you hummed, eyes languidly blinking, "-still mean it. Don't you forget it."
He looked at you for a second, eyes flicking all over your face, before looking to the doctor. She must've said something (your ears felt stuffy) because then Rick was picking you up. He was everywhere, smell, sight. All you could feel was Rick, body heat thrumming and blooming into your side.
"Always knew you were strong," you mindlessly remarked.
You felt Rick laugh in his chest, and your eyelids were so heavy then. You slowly began blinking, your brain slowing down. Maybe you could close your eyes just for a little bit.
"Got so much to say to ya."
And then, it all faded to black.
This blanket is scratchy as hell, you mindlessly remarked. It was almost like a thin sheet, barely coating you, and you think if you moved your arms, it would make that noise that shitty bedsheets did. Why were hospital beds so bad? Shouldn't they be comfortable?
And then your nose was hit with the heavy sterilized air. You scrunched your nose up on instinct, it made your throat burn-
"Y/N? Darlin'?"
You slowly blinked your eyes open, heavy and languid; they always had those florescent lights too. How was that helpful?
"'S too fucking bright in here."
You heard him laugh a little, maybe in relief mostly, and you blearily blinked to get a look at him.
"'D turn it down for ya if I could."
You laughed a little and squinted your eyes open, laying gently on him. He looked a little worse for wear, his hair messy and shirt a little crooked. You wanted to fix his curls back in place, and your hand moved before you could stop it.
Gently, you threaded his hair back. He was a breath away from where you laid, so it wasn't too far of a reach.
Rick looked at you so softly, that the words cut off your from your lips. And with a breath, he pulled your hand down from his hair, sliding it against his cheek. Before you could say a word about it, he turned his head and gently kissed your palm.
You bit at your lip, eyes flickering over him, "How long have you been here?"
"Since the doc' allowed me to be," he answered, fidgeting with your hand -not really wanting to let go, you guessed.
"And Mags?" You asked, concern flickering through your eyes, "-Are she and the baby okay?"
"Yeah," he looked at you, a little in disbelief, "-they're alright. She was stressed, yeah, but Glenn kept 'er calm."
"And," your eyes darted to your abdomen, where your wound now hid, "-the wound?"
"Good," he replied, eyes swimming over you like he couldn't quite believe you were okay, "-Doc' says ya just need to rest, not irritate the stitches. Which I kno' will be hard for ya."
You sighed, leaning your head back onto the bed, looking up at the ceiling, "I am going to be so bored."
Rick chuckled a little, before falling suspiciously quiet. You turned to him, just to see him looking down and fidgeting with your hand -a little like he was working on saying something. You simply waited.
"'Ve been looking for those batteries since ya said ya wanted 'em," he spoke, a little quietly.
You froze, "Since the prison?"
"Yeah," he offered, "-apparently 'ey're a hot commodity."
"Why?" You questioned, looking at him curiously, "-Why all that work for some batteries?"
"Because," he hummed simply, eyes matching yours now, "-ya wanted 'em."
You pushed your lips into a thin line, the glimmer of hope sparking in your chest. Not saying a word, you just stared at him for a second; not unlike in the early days, you were just admiring him for a lot more than his (still unbelievably handsome) face.
"Y/N, I-" he started, eyes dipping back down to your hands. He seemed to pause a moment, debating.
And then he looked up at you, eyes set in his path -unflinchingly. In a sort of understanding, like everything made sense to him now. The silence was heavy until he leaned forward and brushed his hand along your cheek -carefully. It made you feel precious, and your eyes maybe got a little cloudy because of it.
"I'm in love with ya," he let out a breath, tone heavy and genuine, "-an... and the way ya blatantly hit on me but in the damn most genuine type of way."
You laughed a little and leaned gently into his palm. He looked at you in a way you couldn't label then, or maybe you could (love), and rubbed his thumb along your cheekbone.
"I didn't know how to react to it, at first," he hummed, something settled in his eyes, "-the attention ya gave me. 'S somethin' I've never dealt with before."
"Really?" You let slip past your lips, and his grin grew wide as he let his head fall and shook it, smiling at the ground.
"Even now," he laughed a little, turning his gaze up again, "-ya always said thin's like it was so easy to do. Like ya were tellin' me 'at the sun was hot."
"You did give me some pretty good set ups," you clarified, smiling at him.
"'Never meant to," he added, grinning a little in wonder, "-I couldn't think straight when ya said 'em, so I'm surprised I even did."
You hummed, eyes twinkling at him and he looked at you just a little more like he was in love. It made a spark shoot down to your toes, warmth flooding your chest.
"If it's worth anything," you spoke, a little embarrassed, "-my brain stops working when you do the fond thing."
"The fond thing?"
"It's just," you sighed, trying to articulate, "-It's a way that you look at me, or... or smile at me. When you do the soft stuff."
"What exactly is-" he hummed, gently, holding your attention like your words really mattered, "-'the soft stuff'?"
"Uh," you blew a raspberry with your lips, "-like giving me the batteries, and... and that whole conversation actually."
"Oh," he laughed a little, blue eyes twinkling, "-like I was in love with ya."
"What? No, you weren't... not that early-"
And then you looked at him.
"Shit," you marveled, "-really?"
"Like I said," he smiled at you, a little like you were cute, "-I looked for those batteries for months. For ya. An'-"
His face got a little more serious.
"-I really missed ya. 'At was probably when I first realized it."
You rolled your lip inbetween your teeth, "Yeah?"
"Ya used to make everybody laugh, and were always smilin'-" he explained, "-it wasn't even just the flirtin', it was just... I knew ya were hurtin', an' I couldn't help. Or I... I didn't know what to do to help."
You just stared.
"An' I missed ya so desperately, I just-" he let out a breath, "-It all clicked into place, and I went on 'at run, hopin' to god there were batteries-"
You laughed a little weepily, leaning into his hand.
"-because I just wanted to make ya feel better. Bring ya back to me."
"How the hell did you even find them?" You questioned, wiping at your eyes, "-It couldn't have been that lucky."
"'Wasn't," he replied simply, "-I was only supposed to do a few stores, I did the whole strip."
"God, really?" You smiled, "-For batteries?"
"No," he hummed, simply, "-for ya."
You fell quiet.
"I would do anythin' for ya," he added, voice a little breathless, "-anythin'."
"Anything?"
Rick laughed a little, grin bright, "Ya need to rest, baby."
"That's not a no," you chimed, grinning.
He looked at you a certain type of way then, "'S definitely not a no."
You felt your heart pound in your chest for a moment. That was something to look forward to. Something stirred in your stomach.
"What?" He asked, teasing, "-Ya all bark and no bite, hmm?"
"If I wasn't bedridden," you spoke flatly, "-I would kick your ass."
"Ya would," he agreed.
And you laughed, eyes smoothing over his face. Before noticing something you hadn't quite said yet.
Words fell out of your lips, "Even though you probably already know, because I've chasing you all this time-"
He smiled at you.
"-I love you too," you finished, "-if it wasn't obvious."
"'Was kinda obvious," he leveled -teasing, but something was sparkling so bright in his eyes that you didn't really mind.
"Yeah, yeah," you moved your hand dismissively, "-don't start, sheriff."
You paused for a moment, eyes dancing along the room, "Do I get to go home today?"
"No," he spoke, with a certainty that shook through your bones (this man had literally everything), "-'Need to be taken care of, so ya are stayin' wit' me until you're healed."
You blinked at him, he was doing the fond thing again. Your mind relaxed to a low hum.
"Maybe after too," he added, tone softer but not any less certain, "-if ya want."
You stared at him, wordless.
Rick blinked, looking at you, before grinning, "'At the fond thing?"
"Yeah," you cleared your throat, embarrassed, "-I don't... It's been a long time since I've been cared for. At all. And you're a very handsome man offering to-"
"Not offerin'," he clarified, eyes set on yours, "-just doin'. 'Specially now, 'cause I kno' ya love me too."
All headstrong, decisive, and certain. How was this happening to you?
"'Thought you said it was obvious?"
"It was," he hummed, grinning at you, "-I could just barely wrap my head around ya flirtin' with me. Couldn't really see it."
You thought for a second, before speaking, "Was it Daryl?"
He grinned at you, tilting his head a little, "Maybe."
"Always knew he was a big softie," you hummed, "-read him like a book when we first met. Stone layers to an ooey-gooey center."
Rick scrunched up his nose, "Ooey-gooey center?"
"Sometimes," you sighed, "-Sometimes I say stupid shit around really attractive people. It's a habit."
"'Guess 'at means you're still gonna be flirting with me?"
"As long as you want me to, sheriff," you clarified.
"So maybe forever then," he grinned and you felt your heart leap into your chest (fuck his fond things). You were totally never getting over that.
"Yeah," you hummed in agreement, "-Maybe forever then."
Mission accomplished.
124 notes · View notes
bluewhitehues · 3 days
Text
I hate you not ♡
Choi Seungchol × f. reader
|Arranged marriage/ forced marriage |
Genre: Angst,fluff,sort of enemies to lovers.
Summary:Married against their will, seungcheol and y/n end up hating each other.
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Part 1 | Part 2
Masterlist
After your shower, you wear your sweatshirt and shorts and go out towards the dining table where he's waiting for you. He was standing there leaning back on the counter. He comes forward when he sees you,giving you a little smile. He comes forward to pull the chair for you..you stop in your track looking at his smile cause this is the first time he's smiling at you.
"You're scaring me seungcheol." You say with eyes wide and round.
"Huh? Why? Because I pulled the chair for you?" He asks raising his eyebrows.
"That too but because you just smiled" you say looking & blinking up at him, eyes still round in surprise.
He narrows his eyes at you,"You are not gonna stop teasing me, are you?" He asks you notice his ears turning Red.
"I was dead serious, i got chills. You've never smiled at me ,last time I saw you smile was at the wedding,when you were forcefully smiling at the guests" You say finally sitting down.
He moves to arrange the dishes infront of you serving you, "Well yeah ..but I'm a human, I do smile ...I don't mean to scare you but you'll see it more often from now on " He says smiling again.
"Did you add anything in the food ?" You're half teasing him now but you're also half serious. You watch his eyes go comically wide "Oh my god, nooo ..why would you-" He shakes his head ,grabbing the chopsticks taking the food from each bowls and tasting it "see-" "nothings in there you can eat it." He says sitting down on his chair infront of you. You're trying to stifle your smile "okay okay sorry"
Well technically it isn't your fault. It's a very reasonable doubt. First he smiled at you, now he's giving you food to eat.
The idea of him being nice to you was too far fetched but him wanting to get rid of you, may be murder you, seems kind of right. Because let's be honest, he has always looked like he has a stick up his ass and whenever he talked it was venom. So your doubt is kind of reasonable.
There's spaghetti, spicy noodles, rice and chicken.
"What food do you like? "He asks you, trying to be casual "I wasn't sure so I just- got this" He says gesturing towards the food.
"This is fine I like rice in my meals , I like chicken too, seafood too, what about you ?" You ask back, glancing at him while eating the spaghetti.
"I like pretty much everything I love food..meat, rice, ramyeon everything.."
He says chewing on his food.
He initiates most of the conversations, it was quite awkward because you were not used to this.
"I always wanted to ask this but..did you have any girlfriend when our marriage was fixed? " You ask wiping your mouth with the napkin, looking at him for the answer.
"No I didn't..though I did think about bringing a fake one so I could break our marriage.."his lips twitch .."but I knew it wouldn't work, my father knows too much about me." He says shaking his head to the side.
"Ohh..I thought you had one that's why you hated me so much."
"Again I don't hate you..I never did,it's just I, i was angry i still am but I've got it now you shouldn't be the one on the receiving end of it ..i wasn't in the right mindset since our marriage was decided. You would know, you didn't like me too you were angry just as much, we almost didn't talk in the first month of our marriage..we avoided each other like plague" He chuckles.
"Well yeah I was in bad state too..it took so much for me to actually build some courage or even hope to actually talk to you , I didn't think you'd react so badly" You chuckle.."I just thought I'm trying so you'd open up to me too. But you were an asshole about it." You shrug.
"Okay say that as many times as you want until you feel better." He says in all seriousness nodding at you
"Daily..for two months atleast..i think I'll feel so much better" You say nodding back at him.
He closes his eyes with a sigh and opens them again "okay you can totally do that. I'm ok with it"
"Great then! Good night." You say getting up from the chair.
"Uhm ya good night ..sleep well." He says awkwardly smiling at you.
It's been a month since seungcheol is being nice to you. You're not as doubtful of him now. You've seen him, observed him enough to know that may be he really has changed, he really is showing his real side to you now, he has started to open up to you and he is making you feel comfortable around him now. You eat breakfast and dinner together these days ..sometimes he even texts you to ask if he could come and pick you up from the work. You wouldn't say you became friends totally but you're getting there with baby steps.
That weird look you saw in his eyes is still there when he smiles at you awfully softly when you say something funny or when you talk in general. You haven't been able to figure out what it is but you will confront him about it. The butterflies you feel whenever he gives you that smile are another topic you haven't been able to understand..don't you despise him? Why does he have those stupidly attractive and adorable dimples? why would you like his smile? You're weird seriously.
It's his brother's anniversary party today and you are supposed to go together. As a couple.
"Y/n" He knocks at your door "Are you ready?"
"Yeah coming just 2 minutes!!" You shout from inside.
When you come out and he sees you, his breath gets stuck..heart skips a beat or two and he's just standing there looking at you. You were fixing your hair, when you look up at him, he's just standing there like a statue his ears are somewhat red. And you would be lying if you say you didn't blush looking at him standing there all handsome and just staring at you. You never denied it, you know you've got a fine as hell husband.
"Let's go?" You ask him taking him out of his trance.
"Uh? Yes let's go." He says smiling you walk behind him towards the door when he turns around and says "You look good."
"Thank you, you're looking good yourself." You say While avoiding his eyes, hoping he wouldn't notice your natural blush along with the make up.
"Thank you." He says smiling.
You're wearing a sparkly glitter off shoulder gown with a slit on the one side of thigh. Hair long and deep berry coloured lips. Seungcheol is wearing a white button down with black pants.
He opens the car door for you and closes it after you sit.
Few minutes pass,you are on your way. Seungcheol is sitting beside you,you're in his fancy car, and Ofcourse he has his own chauffeur.
Seungcheol sighs glancing at you"I didn't want to go. My parents will be there." He says with a frown.
"It's ok we can come back early may be" you say giving him a reassuring smile.
"Yeah" He nods.
"Also stick closer to me even if you don't want it. So many people will be there, the photos might even get out in the press. I already don't like this." You blow out a breath shaking your head.
"Who said I don't want to stick closer to you ?" He asks raising his eyebrows at you.
"You do?" You ask.
"Aren't you my friend? I'd rather stay with you than have to talk with them." He shrugs.
"When did I agree to be your friend? I clearly remember me saying I'll think about it."
"I- ok then." He says nodding and looking out of the window. He's clearly sulking. His hands crossed over his chest, a pout on his face.
You let out a surprised chuckle,"Wait are you really sulking right now?" You ask trying to look at him.
He huffs,"No I'm not."
"Yeah? Say that while looking at me" You poke his shoulder with your index finger and he shrugs it off. He's still looking out of the window.
"Ok ok I was kidding. We are friends, you've proved it by now." You say smiling and he turns to you.
He narrows his eyes at you,"Thank you. You're so mean."
You raise your eyebrows at him"More than you?"
"No" He says in a small voice "but it was in past. I haven't been mean to you since the last month,have I?"
"No you haven't and I hope you continue that cheol."
His head snaps towards you at the speed of light, "cheol? Wait did you call me cheol?" He asks eyes big and a happy smile on his face.
You get flustered for a second, you didn't realise you said that ..so you say "decide one thing do you or do you not want me to be your friend? Friends call each other by nicknames"
"No no I want you to call me that ,you just took me by surprise." He quickly explains.
You get out of the car and he holds out his hand for you. You look up at him,he smiles softly at you. You fight off the blooming blush on your cheeks and take his hand. He holds you so gently. His hand is so warm,it makes you adjust your hand properly in his and hold it by your fingers. He smiles at you again. Helps you on the stairs.
You go inside the venue and notice there really are so many people.
"Let's just go and wish hyung and wish wife first then we can go early." He says in your ear. You nod at him, the blush won't leave your face.
"Hey hyung -Noona Happy Anniversary to you both." Seungcheol says smiling at them and hugging his brother. His brother gets so happy seeing seungcheol, that too he brought you with him. You also wish them.Seungcheol nudges you to hold the gift he has been holding in his hand,so you both could give it to them.
He again holds your hand. Guiding you towards an area where you could sit. Just then his old friends call him, they talk to him..you whisper in his ear,"I'll go sit there or else my heels would kill me" You say pointing at the drink and snacks counter where surpringly are very few people. "Ok stay there I'll be there in 5 minutes" He says nodding. stroking your hand with his thumb before letting it go. You go and sit there and order a mocktail. Cheol wants to go to you, he keeps glancing at you but his friends won't stop talking. Just when he was glancing at you he notices a man standing few feets away from you staring at you, cheol follows his eyes going to your exposed leg and instantly feels his blood boil. He clenched his jaw, excusing himself from his friends. He goes straight to you blocking you from the man's view. Putting one of his hand on the counter and the other behind you on your chair,he's standing so close to you.
"Sorry I took so long didn't I? They won't stop talking" He says looking down at you.
You knew it was him,you smelled his cologne as soon as he was behind you. So you don't get startled. You look up at him when he talks to you. You notice him standing so close to you and raise your eyebrows at him. "Well it's ok"
He ignores your silent question and keeps looking at you, "what are you drinking?" He asks.
"Oh ..just a mocktail, I'm lightweight I can't handle alcohol" You give him a toothy grin looking up at him. And god he finds you adorably adorableeee. How can you be so fine and cute at the same time. He has this urge to pinch your cheeks, so he does,very lightly. Chuckling showing his own teeth on full display. Looking at you with that weird look again. "That's ok, I know a few more you'd like ..wait." Then he shifts his attention from you to the bartender, telling him a few names.
As much as you liked him standing next to you, "Aren't you going to sit down?" You ask him tilting your head.
"Oh yeah" He says pulling a chair close towards you and sits down.
You enjoy the drinks he ordered for you complementing him that it really is good. He smiles at you that stupidly attractive dimple smile.
"You want to get out of here?" He speaks in your ear so you could hear him over the music.
"Home?" You ask him with furrowed eyebrows. He shakes his head smiling at you "you'll know let's go" He says getting up. You get up and nearly trip. He instantly grips you by your elbow. "Hey careful.. you ok?" He asks worried. You notice the hook of your heel is undone,he follows your gaze and instantly gets on his knees to fix it for you. Your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. And the butterflies? They are tickling your tummy so bad and may be they are sitting on your cheeks too.
You didnt expect him to do that "Cheol you don't need to-" he cuts you off,getting up.
"It's ok, let's go" He smiles taking your hand in his again. God you're blushing and you notice a few people looking at you two.
Seungcheol sees his parents approaching and speeds up instantly. You sigh when you're out in the open air. "Till when you're not going to talk to them. Your mom looked so sad, you should atleast talk to her."
"I don't know y/n ..They need to understand I'm not a robot who's supposed to follow their orders. I've feelings too."
"Sorry I didn't mean to upset you"
"You didn't"
He takes you to a place where it's so peaceful, you can hear the crickets chirping, you hear the water flowing and the best part is the night sky filled with infinite stars. "Woah" you look up in awe. swirling yourself to capture the whole sky in your eyes.
"You like it?"
"Like? Cheol I love it" You say laughing and he thinks the stars you're holding in your eyes right now are even more precious and beautiful than the actual ones.
"I'm glad you love it".. "You're about to love it even more." He says giving you a mischievous smile.
You look at him confused your brows furrowed. He goes to the car taking a white bag from it and bringing it to you.
"When did you even get this?" You look at him eyes wide when he takes out the yummiest looking fried chicken and burgers. "I told hanbin to buy it" He says gesturing towards the car where the said chauffeur hanbin is.
You eat it while sitting on the bench.
You giggle looking at him "what?" He asks cheeks filled with the burger he's eating.
"You look like a four year old baby eating. Look you've got sauce and crumbs all over your lips." You say still giggling.
"Just say I look cute and go." He says narrowing his eyes at you. And he really does look so cute you almost coo.
"And you're no one to talk you've got sauce on your lips too" He says grabbing a tissue and wiping it gently on the side of your lips. You pause eating. Why's he doing this to you?? first he held your hands, then he fixed your heels, he brought you at such a beautiful place and now this. And how can you forget he brought his jacket from the car because he noticed you getting cold, the butterflies, the heartbeats everything has been a mess for you. And him? He seems so casual about it like it's the most normal thing to do, making you feel like you're only overthinking.
You reach home, and your thoughts won't let you be in peace so you hold his sleeves from behind stopping him. He turns towards you,"hmm?" His thoughts were filled with you too, thinking how you'd now go in your room and he can't be close to you, how tomorrow is too long to see you again.
You can't pull him towards you so you step towards him, tightening your hold on his sleeves. "I've questions for you." You say looking him in the eye. And his eyes go a little wide but he's quick to mask it. "Okay..go ahead."
"Why do you look at me like that?"
"Huh?"
"You have been looking at me like that alot these days..are you hiding something from me? " You ask him further.
In one swift motion he removes your hand from his sleeves and envelops it in his own.
"Do you still not trust me?"
"I'm not saying that, I'm asking why are you looking at me like that ..the way look at me it changed..you have been acting so weird since last month and i didnt actually buy it completely when you said you started acting nice to me because i didnt eat dinner and breakfast ..i mean come on that doesnt make that much sense ..look at you holding my hand right now, and do you want me to say every little thing you did today?"
"Will you say anything or am I just crazy?"
You notice his cheeks turning Red.
"You're gonna make me say it, Aren't you?" He whispers.
"Make you say what?" Your own voice not above a whisper as he's looking at you like that
He steps closer to you, hand still holding yours. "Promise me you won't get angry at me or won't forget this past month we spent together?." He says worrying his lower lip between his teeth.
You have not seen him this nervous before."Depends on what you're going to say cheol ..but ok I'll try..what is it" You ask tilting your head at him, for some reason you're nervous too. You liked this past month so much,you don't want to ruin your progress.
"I-" He takes a long breath with closed eyes and then again matches your gaze. "What if I told you I actually like you?"
Your heart starts speeding at his words, "That's something I never thought would be an option ..but do you?" You ask tentatively, your eyebrows furrowed.
"I do" He says tightening his hold on your hand. "I like you y/n."
You keep looking up at him, opening and closing your mouth again not knowing what to say, your brain is covered by fog suddenly.
"Please say something..I'm kind of dying here" He says holding your hand as if you'll go away from him any second.
"Since when?" You ask
"From last two months, since I admitted it to myself. But i think i started to like you even before that,unknowingly. " He tells you, his eyes vulnerable.
" Are you right now saying that was you liking me? Really? I don't understand two months back you were far from liking me" You look at him confused.
His cheeks get warmer again with the embarrassment,"I know I'm sorry that was me being an idiot you know me by now..i- I purposely tried to push you away because I didn't want to give my parents the satisfaction that I did end up liking the girl they chose for me against my will." He says squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment.
"Huh" You huff in disbelief.."Are you saying you made me suffer, let me think of myself as a fool , just because you were in denial and you didn't want to like me?? You idiottt" You say trying to free your hand from his hold and hitting his chest with the other one. "You idiot of a man you idiot" You say hitting him again and again.
"I know..I know I'm sorry ..I'm sorry,just one last time I swear I won't give you any reason to complain again, just one last time ..I'm not an idiot anymore I swear, I'd rather hurt myself than hurt you again ." He doesn't leave your hand(you stop trying after few attempts) and let's you hit him as much as you want, until you stop and your hand drops by your side.
You look up at him with your own vulnerable eyes, they're glossy and seungcheol curses himself all over again.
Your eyes going from his one eye to another and then you're lurching forward to hug him.. You bury yourself in his neck/shoulder, hands looping around his waist, clutching his shirt in a tight hold. You close your eyes, trying to calm yourself and just dissolve in his arms. On the other hand he thinks his heart stopped beating for a second when you hugged him because he didn't expect that, he thought you'll be mad at him again. But soon he holds you to himself again pulling you closer. Burying his face in your hair, taking a deep breath,finally letting out a sigh. He feels like he'll cry any second. He has never felt such intense emotions for anyone before. You do something to him which he can't quite explain. "I'm sorry." He says in a quite whisper,as if it'll break your bubble if he even let's out a loud breath.
You notice the crack in his voice and say,"shut up ..I hate you." Your own voice a whisper too as you breath in his scent,clutching the fiber of his shirt even more tightly.
"Mhm It's ok..I'll take that too" He says smiling to himself. Pressing his lips on your hair,kissing there a few times.
It's like both of you don't want let each other go because you just keep standing there hugging each other.
You think it's been 10 minutes.
"I like this but my feet are starting to hurt." You mumble in his shoulder. He opens his eyes to look down at you, you pull back to look at him too.
"Oh ..you're still wearing your heels." He says looking down, you both are blushing, your cheeks tell it all.
"Sit here" He says, guiding you to the couch with your hand.
He gets down on his knees for the second time today. Carefully taking your leg on his knee and undoing the hooks of your heels one by one..his soft light touch sends goosebumps on your skin. "Oh..you're whipped for me ..Mr. Choi, who would've thought" You say with a teasing smile. Inside you're a blushing mess but you won't leave a chance to tease him.
"And if I am?" He says raising one of his eyebrow and he's smirking Ofcourse. Oh you're gone..cause there is no reason to find this so hot as you're finding it right now. And that brat doesn't stop at that, he squeezes your ankle in his hand pulling it towards himself. You shiver at his touch, and try to fight off the blush on your cheeks but fail so badly, so you just look away from him, avoiding his eyes. He smirks even more then let's out a chuckle.
He removes the other heel too. "You won't answer me?" He asks Standing up. "No" You reply. He chuckles again saying "ok tomato." "Wha-?What kind of a nickname is that?" You say looking up at him with a huff. "Because you look like one right now" He says poking your cheek with his index finger. Dimples blooming fully on his cheeks. "Yeah? Should've looked at yourself a few minutes ago" You say huffing, standing up. Brushing past him,he instantly catches your hand, "let me walk you to your room you're limping ..are you sure you're ok? Does it hurt bad?" He asks looking down at you worriedly. "It's ok it'll go away..just the side effect of wearing pretty heels." You say pouting at your feet.
"I can totally massage them ..or pick you up if you want." He says. You turn to him narrowing your eyes at him. "Just saying" He shrugs trying to stifle his smile. When you turn again going to turn the nob of your door. He pulls you a little making you look at him. "Are you going to come out again after changing? We could talk.." He says nibbling his lip. He just doesn't want to let you go. "Talk about what?" You ask softly, raising your brows at him. "Just..anything" He shrugs. "Ok I'll see." You say ..he let's you go with a sigh then whispering an "ok".
And you're no different you don't want to go as well. So you turn around calling him, "Seungcheol" This time you're the one catching his hand. "Hmm?" He turns around and you go forward, pulling his hand keeping it on your waist and holding both of his cheeks in your hands.. you stand up on your toes and press your lips on his. His eyes go wide, but he's quick to hold you. After a second of glitching he quickly holds your jaw with other hand and turns his head to the side to kiss you better. He walks you backward slowly,pressing you on the door. Your noses bumping with each other. He's kissing you so gently yet so intensely and you're trying to return it as much as possible. You pull back to catch your breaths.
"Guess you're whipped for me too Huh?" He says exhaling above your lips, wiping his thumb over your lower lip.."And if I am?" You say with a smirk repeating what he had said. You watch his eyes go from wide and round to dark and dangerous in a second before he groans and presses his lips on yours again, more harshly this time. "Mhm" You let out and press yourself further in his arms looping your hands in his neck, and his hair pulling and caressing the hair on his nape.
"A-are you- trying to kill me baby?" He asks in between the kiss,pulling back so you could hear him. "Shit - don't- call me that" You say between the sharp exhales to catch your breath. "Youh-you don't like it? " he asks furrowing his eyebrows, removing the hair strands from your face with his fingers and putting them behind your ear.
"Nah..I like it too much.. that's the problem." You say your eyes going from his eyes to his lips. He smiles, again those damn dimples. He chuckles and presses his lips on yours gently, you feel it tickle your lips. "Thank you for telling me that ..baby" He says,talking over your lips. You feel his smile growing. And looking at him that happy and smiley, you laugh too..pressing your giggles to his lips. "I'm not letting you go now..it's all your fault" He says pulling you to himself again kissing you properly.
.
.
A/N: so here's the part 2 ..sorry for being late but look it's so long and my hands just kept going 😭😭 they still want me to write more ..if you want that too then reblog/ comment. AND HOW IS IT PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME.❤️
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canthelpit0 · 2 days
Text
Enemies (With Benefits) PT5
Pairing: Cold!Chris x Reader
Wordcount: 3.2k+
Summary: Chris and reader have always been enemies ever since they’ve known each other. neither knew why they had this burning feeling in their gut. So one day they decide to fuck it out. Until, eventually doing it regularly.
Warnings: Smut, Fluff, no angst, pet names (sweetheart, ma, honey, etc), nickname (Cherry), morning sex, oral m!receiving, p in v, creampie, implied cockwarming, happy ending. That’s all?? Short (bad) ending
(A/N: it was heavily inspired by this request. Sorry if this is ass or a bad ending. Tho I hadn’t even intended this to be a series at all. Thank you guys for 350+ followers. I love you all and I appreciate it.)
PT1 PT2 PT3 PT4 FINAL
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Me and Chris had hooked up a few times this week.
It was ‘normal’ for us. Yet I noticed that it started to feel a lot more intimate and sensual.
It didn’t just feel like plain sex.
He started to give me aftercare afterward. Treating me with more care than ever before.
He wasn’t treating me like meat anymore. And it was confusing.
I feel like we’ve done way more positions in the past week rather than the entirety of this arrangement. Before it used to just be doggy, cowgirl, and the occasional, very rare, missionary.
But in the past week, we’ve done a lot of different types of missionary. And everything we did felt intimate.
Everything went back to normal. Or at least how normal it could be.
All his snide remarks didn’t seem as menacing and as disrespectful as they used to be.
I was laying wrapped up in Chris’ arms. We had a passionate night yesterday, and he cleaned me up and stayed over after.
He never stays over.
Ever since the day that we had made up a that day a week ago, he’d been almost, nicer..
I started to stir awake. I toss and turn slightly shifting. I open my eyes slightly staring at the wall opposite my bed.
I feel warm. Chris’ arms are wrapped around me tightly as he keeps sleeping. He was snoring slightly his face pressed into the side of my neck.
I at first relax into his touch, until I realize the hardness poking my ass.
Was he hard right now?
Christ, what kind of dreams was this kid having?
I shift in place pushing my ass back into him to tease him. And he actually whines under his breath.
An idea pops into my mind.
Usually, I wouldn’t do this, but who wouldn’t like to wake up to head, right?
I turn around shifting in his arms. I try not to move too fast to not alert him and wake him up.
I wiggle out of his soft grip, listening to the way he huffs under his breath trying to pull me back. But in his half-asleep state, he can’t really.
I push his hand off of me and gently push him back on his back.
“Fuck” I sigh under my breath. I look back at Chris’ sleeping face. The way he looks so calm... I wish he’d look this calm around me when he’s awake.
He was usually always angry. He always looked pissed off at me. Though in the past few days, he’s been nicer. I swear he has been, or maybe I’m just tripping.
I glance over to my bedside table where an alarm clock is sitting. It’s 5 am. Why the fuck am I awake.
I sit, my legs curled in so I’m sitting on them. I look back down at Chris. He breaths out gently his lips parting slightly.
I glance over his entire body. My eyes trail down his bare chest to his crotch area.
Since we had fucked yesterday night, he was only in his boxers, and I was only in my panties.
My eyes lock on the tent in his boxers. I lick my lips. For a second I don't do anything, just watching him breathe calmly.
I smile to myself shaking my head. I sit up pulling my panties down. I slip them off and throw them away.
I carefully climb over one of Chris’ legs and settle between them.
I trail my nails over his thighs up to the very top. I watch his body shudder at the touch of my manicured nails, a low chuckle leaving my lips.
My nails are a long almond shape. They’re not too long though. But I know that me trailing it over his skin like this feels good.
Chris stirs in his sleep. I trail my hand up to his clothed crotch. I start to gently, and slowly palm him.
He lets out soft whiny breaths that almost sound like low moans.
He lets out a soft breath opening his eyes slightly. I watch as Chris sits up on his arms lazily. His eyes are droopy, he stares down at me.
“You want me to help with this?” I chuckle my hand trailing over his crotch again.
His breath shudders slightly. His eyes are lazily open, he blinks slowly.
“Please.” He breathes out.
“Lay back down.”
He does as I say, not bothering to argue about it. He just lays down with a plop.
He lets out a breath when I start tugging down his boxers. I pull them off and unceremoniously throw them to the floor.
Chris has his eyes closed again, hissing slightly when the cold air hits his half-hard length.
“So good for me yeah,” I say softly under my breath. I cup his length gently. I look at the way my manicured nails look around him. “Stay still for me sweetheart.”
He does just that, only ever softly letting out breaths.
I start to slowly jerk him off. I listen to his low breathy moans and whines as I do so.
I lean down leaving wet slow pecks on his leaking tip. The contact causes Chris to whine again.
“Cherry, fuck” he breaths out. He was lying comfortably, his head on the pillow. “Please.”
I chuckle at the whiny tone. I slowly sit up peering down at Chris. He looks so cute like this. I let go of his dick listening to him whine dramatically at the loss of contact.
My eyes lock with his half-lidded ones. I lean down my lips capturing his in a sweet kiss.
“Just shush and let me do this, right,” I say looking down at him.
He huffs a soft laugh making me smile in response.
I lean back down again, making myself comfortable between his legs once more.
My hand cups his member again, my lips softly wrapping around the head. I swirl my tongue around it making sure to swallow all the pre cum.
Chris just hums in approval, occasionally letting out soft whines and moans. Everything he did was laced with an air of sleepiness, he hadn’t even fully woken up yet.
I reach back grabbing my hair into a makeshift ponytail so it wouldn’t be all over the place. I start to gently and slowly bob my head. While I look up at him through my eyelashes.
Chris lets out a shaky sigh But eventually sits up on his forearms to gaze down at me sucking him off.
I start to move more intensely, starting to jerk off what I couldn’t fit in my mouth, feeling his dick hit the back of my throat occasionally.
He tenses, his breaths getting shakier as he watches my every move with lazy eyes. Chris licks his lips. He was looking down at me with such adoration, our eyes staying locked.
I pull off with a pop making him groan under his breath. He throws his head back, still leaning on his forearms to keep him up.
I shift, now hovering over him. Chris lets out a shaky breath feeling me move. He opens his eyes, picking his head back up and staring back into my eyes.
I start to slowly sink down on his dick. Slowly but surely taking as much of it as I can. His hands instinctively go to my hips to help me grind into him.
“So pretty” he breaths out. His eyes are focused on me, my eyes locked with his.
I put both of my hands on his chest, resting my weight on my palms. I start to thrust myself back into him A little faster but still gentle.
The urge to say I love you was so crazy right now. I don’t even know why I wanted to say it. I just tend to say it when I’m giddy or when I feel good.
I usually only say I love you to my close friends. Only when i want to tell them how much I appreciate them. But that’s about all… so why would I want to say it to Chris when we’re not even friends?
I just hold it back and tell myself that it’s my impending orgasm making me emotional. I try to refrain from talking at all, for fear that I would let it slip.
“Chris” I breathe out still slowly rocking my hips against his.
“Yes ma?” He breathes out between low grunts.
“Fuck, you’re so good.” I whine my tone more pitched than intended.
“Oh am I honey?” He chuckles his tone more sweet than I’ve ever heard it.
I sit down for a moment, stopping the minor movements my hips had been making. He breathes out shakily and then looks back at me.
“Why’d you stop?” He asks with a huff.
And to be honest I don’t even know. I put a hand on my lower stomach gently pressing down. I could practically feel the slight bulge he was causing.
“Fuck I..” I trail off. I lean down slightly putting my face into the side of his neck. He chuckles wrapping one arm tenderly around my waist.
“God, you’re just so-“ I pause again. I left a small peck on his neck where my head was resting. “I could sleep like this,” I mumble.
He lets out a soft laugh at that. He wasn’t expecting that, but he also wasn’t mocking.
“I get that cherry, but would you like to get off right now?” He says lowly. I grumble in agreement, slightly starting to grind my body against his.
“Come on you got this ma.” He encourages leaving a light tap on my hip.
I lift myself back up again. He holds out his open hand for me to take, offering his moral support.
I take it intertwining my hand with his. I start to gently bounce on him again. My walls cling to his length harshly, as if trying to suck him back in.
“So tight for me ma” he groans closing his eyes briefly. I look at the scene in front of me, the way his eyes look shut tight, and the way he’s lying there calmly, his messy bedhead resting on his forehead.
This feels so euphoric.
His hand on my hips guides my movements making me pick up pace more and slam myself down on him.
“Just like that cherry,” he breaths out between light groans looking up at me. “Doing so well for me honey.” He murmurs.
The praise sends butterfly’s to my core. I love knowing that I’m doing something good. But beyond that, anything that Chris says to me makes me feel tingly.
And I don’t know when it shifted from anger to giddiness but it had.
I just felt so overwhelmingly happy.
I whine incoherent words of affirmation, Chris just chuckling at some of them.
My pace starts to speed up, as it becomes less and less controlled and more erratic by the second.
Chris bites his lips to hold himself back from groaning at the sight. Just from how much we hooked up he knew I was close. And he wasn’t wrong.
“Come on my dick” he says his breaths harsh. He watches me with lazy lust filled eyes.
I slam myself back down on him one last time feeling myself clench tightly around Chris.
He smiles at the way I squeeze his hand.
He lets me sit there for a second to get myself together.
And once I do, and my breathing gets more even again, he pulls me off of him gently. He flips us around so he’s on top of me and between my legs.
“You’re so gorgeous.” He breathes out, his tone oh so gentle.
Instead of thrusting back in, he grabs one of my ankles, pulling my leg over to my other. I oblige just letting him position me sideways.
I grab the pillow under my head and put an arm under it to make it more comfortable.
His hand trails over my back and side sensually. “You good?” He asks lowly.
“Yeah.” We were back to whispering now, and all of this just felt a tad bit too loving.
He cups his length sliding it between my folds, before pushing it back into my cunt.
My free hand goes to my ass, I simply put it there as Chris starts to gently rock his hips back and forth.
This doesn’t feel like sex, this feels like love.
Hell, we’ve never even had morning sex before. This was a first.
“So good for me mama.” He breaths out his tone low and soothing.
My head stays half-buried in the pillow, my mouth slightly parted and my eyes closed.
“More please” I whine. I hear Chris’ amused chuckle at that. He starts to thrust in deeper but still keeps his thrusts slow and sensual. One of his hands stays on my thigh the other one on the small of my back to hold me in place with a firm but not harsh grip.
I open my eyes briefly to look at him from the corner of my eyes. But the way those sensual thrusts were hitting every right spot made my eyes roll back and my soft breaths come out whiny.
I tried to focus my eyes on him as best as I could without them rolling back.
“Please come inside,” I ask in my best sweet tone.
Chris raises an eyebrow again. I remember way back in the day when he would refuse to do that with everything he had, saying ‘he wants to take no risks.’
But now he just smiles down at me and smiles nodding.
“Relax ma.” He chuckles rubbing my back soothingly. “Close your eyes and let me do this, ‘right.” He smiles.
I comply to his words, closing my eyes. I feel him start to thrust into me again. Still slow and sensual. A few small whines and moans leave my lips.
He starts to pick up the pace, the sound of skin clapping echoes in the room. I let out a few breathy whines, listening to his soft and low grunts.
I move my hand to my clit starting to gently rub it. Chris picks up pace even more now, chasing his own high.
And once I feel his breath get harsh and his pace more erratic I know he’s close and so am I.
“Good girl.” He coos in a whisper. His tone is soothing and sounds like silk to my ears. The sweet praise he mumbles into the mostly quiet room only makes me clench more.
I hit my climax a bit before him again. I clench around his dick making him groan. He gives me one last thrust before burying himself in me, Shooting his spurts of cum deep into my cunt.
I try to catch my breath, My eyes staying closed.
I feel him rub at the small of my back again. But instead of pulling out, he lays down behind me, not making a move to pull off.
He holds my body close to his, and I readjust. Chris’ arm goes under my head, his other arm wrapping around me to keep me close.
Once I catch my breath I break the silence with a soft chuckle. “Not gonna pull out?” I tease.
“No, you said you could sleep like this?” He challenges playfully.
I chuckle back in response.
“So, sleep like this cherry. Don’t you feel all full and warm?” He asks, lightly teasing.
★ ★ ★
So that’s how we woke up today.
Now it was after school already. Time had flown by so fast. We got up, cleaned up, and got to school. And now school was already over for the day.
I laid on my back. Simply staring at the blank ceiling. This was the bed that I woke up with Chris in today…
My thoughts trail off. And no matter what I try to distract myself with, I always end up thinking about Chris.
I don’t know what that was. But I liked waking up next to Chris.
I need to talk to him.
I sit up and walk to my mirror. looking into it I fix my hair. Looking to see if my makeup was still in place.
I hadn’t changed yet so I was basically ready to go.
I grab my phone and put it in the back pocket of my jeans.
I start to trod down the stairs fast. I take my car keys and swing open the door.
But right as I go to step out I see Chris standing there his hand raised as if he was going to knock on the door before I swung it open.
I freeze in my step pausing. I do a double take and so does Chris.
“Chris?”
“Cherry?”
We both pause looking at each other.
But before I know it my arms wrap around his neck and I pull him in for a passionate kiss.
He kisses back with just as much vigor. His hands go to my waist pulling me closer to him.
When he licks at my lips I gladly part them for him, feeling his tongue explore my mouth.
After a while we pull apart for air, our mouths still connected by a string of saliva.
My hand trails down his arm until I grab his wrist and pull him inside. I close the door unceremoniously. “We should talk.” I breathe out looking at the floor.
I feel Chris’ hand cup my jaw making me look back at him. He connects our lips again, and I sigh into the kiss. It feels strangely comforting.
He pulls away. “Talk to me Cherry.”
I look back up at Chris. I swallow at his tone. He looked so kind now.
What had changed?
“Chris, I-” I pause thinking of how to word this.
“I like hooking up with you, but I also like being close to you and talking to you. And..” I trail off.
He looked at me for a moment to see if I’d continue talking.
“I like you too.” He says under his breath finishing my thought.
I pause looking up at him. “You do?”
And with that he is once again leaning down and giving me a passionate kiss. It’s close-mouthed but it’s more than enough to convey his love for me.
He pulls away and I look back up at him.
I try to hold back the smile growing on my face. But the way he was smiling at me was making me all giddy.
I break out in giggles and so does he. I lean more into him muffling my laughter with his chest.
After a moment of laughing my smile stays firmly on my face.
“I love you so much”
And despite love being a strong word, it feels like the only thing that could describe this.
He looks at me with such adoration, affection, and… well, love.
He used to be so cold, but it looks like his anger for me melted away with all the heated things we’d been doing.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asks sweetly his toothy grin on display.
“Of course.”
Masterlist
A/N: I have so many things that I still want to write (I have a whole list lmao). but I really loved writing this. my req + asks are open if you wanna send me something <33
‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️
Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh
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sixgunluvr · 2 days
Text
I suck so bad at titles. Let me know if you have a good one for this.
Mature readers only, 18+, pairing Arthur with a female reader, dominance & submission, not too rough though
3.668 words
Tumblr media
Your hand connected hard with Arthur's cheek, sending a loud smack echoing through the night. The sound of your palm against his flesh was like a shot of electricity, igniting a spark that traveled down to your core and settled in the pit of your stomach.
"How dare you?!" your voice cracked with pain and pure fury.
The sting on your hand was nothing compared to the raw emotion coursing through your veins.
Arthur recoiled from you as if he had just received a physical blow, bringing his hand up to his cheek. He was taken aback by your sudden eruption, eyes wide as he looked at you in shock.
"What the hell are you talking about?!"  he exclaimed, rubbing his cheek.
"Micah told me of your little whore in town today!" you screamed.  Your chest heaved with rage and your fists clenched at your sides.
You had spent the past week waiting for his return, holding onto the memories of your passionate encounters and the tenderness he had shown you. You believed that his feelings for you were just as strong, that he would want nothing more than to come back to you as soon as he could.
But now, as you stood there in the middle of the night, facing the man you thought you knew so well, your whole world came crashing down.
Arthur had a look of utter confusion, "Micah? Whore in town?"
"Darlin I haven't a clue as to what you're talking about," he protested.
You looked to all the men sitting around the fire. They all had looks of confusion on their faces.  It was clear that none of them had heard about any such thing as a "little whore in town."
You looked Arthur up and down. He had the same rugged, handsome face that you fell in love with. His medium-length brown hair was disheveled from travel and his green eyes had a hint of worry. His muscular build was evident even through his clothes. 
But now something felt different.
"What's going on?" one of them asked, breaking the stunned silence.
But you couldn't answer yet. Your mind was racing with thoughts and emotions, and you were struggling to process everything. "I-I need some time," you stammered out, before turning and rushing off into the darkness.
Arthur called your name running after you and caught up to you, grabbing your arm.
"Stop, wait! I don't know what that bastard told you, but it ain't true!" he said urgently.
You turned to face him, eyes glistening with tears.
"Then what is it, Arthur? What am I to you?" you asked, voice shaking with emotion.
He looked at you for a moment, then stepped closer, pulling you into his arms.
"You're everything, darlin'. I've been gone for a week, and I couldn't stop thinkin' about you.
My body aches for you, darlin'. I missed the feel of your soft skin, the taste of your lips, and the way your body responds to my touch.
You looked up at him with a mixture of confusion and fear, searching his eyes for the truth. He hesitated for a moment before continuing, "I know I ain't been here for a while, but I swear to God, it don't change how I feel about you. I need you, darlin'."
You didn't know what to think. Micah was not exactly known for his honesty, but there was something in Arthur's eyes that convinced you that he was telling the truth. You couldn't help but soften at his words.
Slowly, you nodded your head in understanding.
"Why would he make up such a story?" you asked, leaning your head against Arthur's chest as you took in his soothing scent.
"Be cause he's an asshole and he's been after you since day one. He's gonna do whatever it takes to break us apart.
But I promise you, there ain't no one else but you," he whispered, before capturing your lips in a slow, passionate kiss. Your bodies melted into one another as his hands roamed over your curves. Your breasts pressed against his chest, the heat from his body spreading throughout you like wildfire.
Your tongue darted out, exploring the depths of his mouth as if you were trying to taste his very soul.
"Oh, Arthur," you murmured against his lips before he nibbled on your lower lip, biting down gently. You groaned as he slid his hands down your back, gripping your ass firmly before grinding you against him.
You could feel the hard length of his cock pressing into you, and it made your thighs rub together in anticipation. His fingers found the hem of your dress and tucked it up, exposing your bare flesh to the cool night air.
The sensation of his rough fingertips against your delicate skin sent a shiver down your spine, causing goosebumps to break out across your body. Arthur's hands continued to roam, squeezing your ass before moving up to grope your breasts through your blouse. He pinched and twisted your nipples until they were hard nubs, making you gasp against his mouth. A moan escaped your lips as his fingers found their way between your legs, brushing against your slick folds.
"Oh Arthur," you murmured against his lips, your voice filled with pure desire.
At the sound of your moan, Arthur's self-control snapped. He roughly turned you around, pulling you tight against him.
You could feel his hard cock against your ass.
His hand was wrapped around your throat, not choking but possessively firm. His other hand was between your legs, two fingers plunged deep inside your pussy. A third finger rubbed against your clit, making you moan as pleasure coursed through you.
"You like that, darlin'?" he asked, nipping at your earlobe.
"You wanna play rough?" he asked , his voice gravelly with arousal.
All you could do was nod, unable to find your voice. You could feel your wetness running down your thighs. 
Arthur's fingers moved inside of you with precision and skill, finding that spot that sent you into a spiral of pleasure. He applied just the right amount of pressure, stroking and massaging until you were gasping for breath.
"Oh, God!" you cried out, your head falling back against his shoulder.
"You dirty little slut," he growled in your ear, his words sending another thrill of pleasure through you.
"You want me to take you right here, don't you?"
His fingers continued their relentless assault on your clit, each brush making it harder for you to breathe. You could only nod, whimpering as the pressure inside of you built higher and higher.
The thought of him taking you out here in the open, with the whole camp just a few feet away, was thrilling and terrifying all at once.
Arthur's hand tightened around your throat, not enough to cut off your air but enough to remind you who was in control. His breath was hot against your ear as he continued to plunder your pussy with his fingers. 
"You're mine," he growled, withdrawing his fingers from inside you with an audible pop before pushing you to bend over.
Your hands braced against a nearby tree, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. The cold night air didn't stand a chance against the heat radiating off of your flushed skin.
Arthur hiked up your dress, exposing your nakedness to the elements. You shivered in anticipation, a whimper escaping your lips as you felt him fumbling with his belt and pants. His hard length sprang free, hot and heavy against the curve of your ass.
Without warning, he thrust inside you, filling you up completely.
You gasped in pleasure as his cock bottomed out, the rough hair on his balls tickling your clit with each movement.
"Oh, fuck me," you groaned, pushing back against him in an attempt to take him deeper.
Arthur took the hint and began to move, thrusting into you with the raw force of an animal. Each stroke hit deep inside you, touching something that sent shockwaves of pleasure through your entire body.
The cool night air around you contrasted sharply with the heat building inside of you, stoked by each punishing stroke.
Arthur's callused hands gripped your hips, holding you still as he fucked you with a ferocity that left you gasping for breath.
"You're so tight, so wet, darlin'," he grated out, his voice low and strained. "So fucking perfect."
His praise only served to drive you higher, to push you closer to the edge of ecstasy. You could feel yourself getting close, that familiar tension starting to build deep inside of you.
"Don't stop," you begged, as he slammed into you again and again.
Leaning over you he grabbed your neck once again.
In a low gutteral growl he demanded,
"Say it, darlin'. Tell me who the fuck you belong to."
You could feel his breath against your neck, hot and heavy.
Without a moment of hesitation you moan out,
"You. I belong to you, Arthur."
His grip on your neck tightened in response, and the sensation sent a shiver down your spine.
"That's right. You're mine and only mine. That fucker, Micah will never have you," he hissed, as he picked up the pace.
His hips moved with a fierce urgency, driving in and out of you with a bruising force. With each thrust, the tree bark dug into your hands, leaving small crescent moons imprinted on your palms. You didn't care; you welcomed the pain. It was another reminder that this man, this outlaw cowboy, was claiming you as his own.
Your pussy clenched around him, gripping him tight as the tension inside of you reached its breaking point.
With a cry of pleasure, you toppled over the edge, your orgasm ripping through you like a wildfire. Your vision went white, and for a moment, the only thing you could hear was the blood rushing in your ears. You had never felt anything like this before, not even with Arthur.
But somehow, Arthur seemed to know exactly what to do. His cock remained rock-hard inside of you as your pussy clenched in spasms around him. He continued to thrust into you, causing another wave of pleasure to crash over you.
You had never been so filled up, so completely and utterly dominated by a man.
"Please, Arthur, please," you begged, not knowing what exactly you were asking for.
Arthur obliged, quickening his pace as the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the cool night air. He let go of your neck and reached around to grip your breasts. He pinched and pulled at your nipples, eliciting a high-pitched cry from your lips with every stroke.
The combination of the pain and pleasure pushed you higher and higher, and you could feel another orgasm rushing towards you like a tidal wave.
"You come for me again, like a good girl," he growled. 
Arthur never slowed down. In fact, if anything, he picked up his pace. With one hand still gripping your breast, the other moved down between your legs. His fingers found your clit, already swollen and sensitive from the attention it had received, and began to rub slow circles around it.
Each rotation made your hips buck, seeking more friction. You could feel yourself getting close to the edge again, and it was a sensation that both thrilled and terrified you.
"That's it, darlin'," Arthur growled in your ear, his breath hot on your neck. "Come for me again."
His words were like a trigger, and with one final thrust of his hips, you toppled over the edge once more. Waves of pleasure washed over you, making your legs tremble and your vision go black.
Your orgasm seemed to last an eternity, each contraction of your muscles sending a jolt of pure ecstasy through your body.
Finally, you collapsed against the tree trunk, gasping for breath as your racing heart slowed. Arthur withdrew from you slowly, leaving you feeling sore and empty. You knew there would be bruises on your hips and thighs tomorrow, but you didn't care. The pain was a reminder of what you had just experienced.
Arthur pulled up his pants and turned you around, gathering you into his arms.
You could feel the tremors wracking your body, and he chuckled, kissing the top of your head.
"Easy there, darlin'," he said softly. "Let's get you inside."
He led you back to camp, his arm around your waist for support. The men around the fire watched as you passed, but no one said a word. They all knew that Arthur had claimed you and were wise enough to keep their opinions to themselves.
Arthur threw a blanket over your shoulders, tucking it around you to stave off the chill in the air.
When you reached Arthur's tent, he gently guided you inside, settling you onto his bed. You could still feel the aftershocks of pleasure rippling through your body, leaving you feeling almost boneless.
"Don't move," Arthur said softly, before disappearing into the night.
You lay there on his bed, wrapped in the warmth of his blanket and the memories of what had just transpired between you.
Your skin was still flushed from the heat of your bodies, and you could feel every tender inch of your flesh that Arthur had touched.
He returned a few minutes later, carrying a steaming bowl of water and a washcloth in one hand. He set them down on the small table next to the bed before kneeling between your legs. The intimacy of the moment was not lost on you, and you couldn't help but blush at the thought of him seeing you vulnerable and exposed.
But then, Arthur had already seen every inch of your body, had already claimed you as his own.
The memory of his fingers inside you, the scrape of his fingernails against your sensitive flesh, made a shiver run down your spine. You wanted him again, wanted to feel the weight of him above you, wanted to hear the rough growl of his voice as he thrust inside you.
Arthur's eyes met yours, and you could see the hunger in them. He knew exactly what you were thinking, knew exactly what you needed.
He took the washcloth from the bowl and wrung it out before bringing it to your core. You gasped as the warm water washed over you, soothing your sensitive skin. Arthur's touch was gentle, almost reverent, as he cleaned you up before tossing the cloth aside.
"Open for me," Arthur said gruffly, his eyes never leaving yours.
You obeyed without hesitation, spreading your legs wide so that he had full access to your dripping pussy. He groaned at the sight of your wetness, his cock twitching in his pants.
"Fuck, you're soaked," he said, his voice low and raspy. You blushed at his words, feeling self-conscious but also turned on. You had never been so wet for anyone before.
Arthur's eyes held a primal hunger that made your heart race and your skin flush. You watched as he stood, slowly undoing the buttons of his pants, letting them fall to the ground. His cock was already hard, already pointing at you like an accusatory finger.
"Please," you whispered, not even sure what you were begging for.
"All in good time," Arthur said, crooking a finger at you. "Come here."
You stood, moving towards him on shaky legs.
Your heart was pounding in your chest, your breath hitching as you watched him stroke his cock.
"That's it, darlin'," Arthur growled, his voice thick with desire.
You stopped in front of him, your hands trembling as you reached out to touch him. The skin of his cock was like velvet over steel, and the heat of him made you gasp. Arthur's eyes fluttered closed as you began to stroke him, matching the rhythm of his own hand.
"That's right, darlin'," he murmured, "just like that."
You whimpered as he took your hand in his and wrapped it around his cock, guiding you in how he liked to be touched. His other hand came to rest on the small of your back, pulling you closer until your breasts were pressed against his chest.
"Look at me," he commanded, and you obeyed, gazing into his eyes as you continued to stroke him. They were dark with desire, filled with a fierce hunger that made your stomach clench with anticipation.
With his free hand he began unbuttoning your blouse, revealing your breasts and tight hard nipples.  He bent down and sucked one into his mouth, biting down gently and teasing the sensitive bud with his tongue.
"Oh, God," you moaned, your grip on his cock tightening as pleasure coursed through you.
He switched to the other nipple, lavishing it with attention until both were hard peaks of desire. All the while, you continued to stroke him, mimicking the motion of his hand on his own cock.
His fingers tightened on your hip as he guided you towards the bed.
His other hand was still wrapped around your own, working the length of his cock in a slow but steady pace.  You could feel the heat radiating off of him, scorching your chest as he feasted on your tits.
The pleasure was so intense it almost brought you to tears, but Arthur's hand on your hips held you firmly in place, pinning you between the heat of his body and the cold of the bed behind you.
"Goddamn, girl," he grunted against your skin, biting down on your nipple.
"You're so wet for me, aren't you?"
You could only nod, too lost in pleasure to form words. His fingers found your entrance, slipping inside easily as you moaned in appreciation.
"So fucking tight," he growled, his fingers crooked and hitting that spot deep within you that made you see stars.
He pumped them in and out of you at a slow pace, drawing out the sensation until you were begging for more.
"Please," you gasped, reaching down to grip his wrist.
Arthur's fingers slowed, and he looked up at you with a wicked gleam in his eye. "Please what?"
"Please," you begged, your voice hoarse with desire. "I need more."
He smirked, pulling his fingers out of you with a wet sound. You whimpered at the loss, but before you could protest, he pressed his cock against your entrance.
"You ready for me?" he asked, his voice low and husky. You couldn't speak, so you nodded frantically.
He quickly turned you around and held your hip with one hand and pushed your back down with the other.
You planted your palms on the bed and locked your elbows.
Tonight he was all about dominance and control, and you couldn't help but submit to him.
He spread your cheeks apart and paused to admire the beauty of your body, before slowly pushing the tip of his cock inside you.
"Fuck," he muttered under his breath.
His grip tightened on your hips as he thrust into you, filling you up with a force that left you gasping for breath.
He wasn't gentle or considerate - he was raw and unhinged, exactly how you liked it.
The roughness of his treatment only heightened your pleasure and excitement, your slick pussy gripping him tightly as he thrust into you. With each stroke, you felt yourself get closer to the edge until you finally tumbled over the brink, crying out as the ecstasy washed over you in waves.
Arthur didn't let up, continuing to pound into you with reckless abandon until he too reached his end. You collapsed on the bed, panting heavily as he pulled out and flopped down next to you.
For a moment, neither of you spoke.
You could hear your own breathing, shallow and labored, and the sound of Arthur's chest rising and falling as he caught his breath. The air in the tent was thick and heavy with the scent of sweat and sex, and you felt a shiver run down your spine as you lay there, sated and spent.
Arthur was the first to break the silence. "You okay, darlin'?" he asked, turning to face you. His eyes were soft, concerned, and you couldn't help but feel a rush of affection for him.
You nodded weakly, still trying to catch your breath. Arthur smiled and pulled you into a tight embrace, his hand gently stroking your hair as you tried to regain some semblance of normalcy.
But the truth was, nothing about this felt normal. You had just experienced something intense and primal, something that went beyond mere physical pleasure. It was as if Arthur had claimed a piece of your soul, and it left you feeling both elated and terrified all at once.
As the silence stretched on, you couldn't help but feel the weight of what had just happened bearing down on you.
  Your body still hummed with pleasure, but your mind was racing, trying to process the events that had unfolded between you and Arthur.
Arthur's arms tightened around you, as if sensing your thoughts. "Don't worry about it too much," he murmured in your ear, his voice soft and soothing. "We both wanted it, and there's nothin' wrong with that."
His words seemed to calm you, and you relaxed into his embrace. But as the minutes ticked by and you felt yourself drifting off to sleep, a sudden thought struck you.  
Had anyone else in the camp heard you and Arthur? The idea of being caught in the act sent a thrill of fear down your spine, but it also fueled your desire.
With a sly grin, you reached out and wrapped your hand around Arthur's growing erection, giving it a squeeze. "Again?" you whispered in his ear.
Arthur groaned and rolled on top of you, pinning you beneath him. "You're insatiable," he growled, his eyes dark with desire.
"Only for you," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
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Note
hello, congrats on one mil!! you mentioned (very) off handedly in the tags a long time ago that an au where renji was byakuya's sibling would be difficult because renji would want hugs and Kuchiki Do Not Hug. ever since ive been wondering: what exactly would it take for byakuya to give renji a hug? this is my prompt to you. any and all external influences are permissible but it has to be a real, proper hug. no side hugs allowed. bonus (infinite) points for rukia being somewhere in the mix.
I thought about this for 20 minutes and then just yes, and...'d my way through the rest of this. It was very fun! Hopefully someone else finds this half as funny as I did.
| read on ao3 | request guidelines |
❄️ ☃️ ❄️
"Hitsugaya here."
"Hello, Captain Hitsugaya, it is Captain Kuchiki."
"..."
"I am calling from Lieutenant Abarai's phone."
"Of course you are. What's up?"
"I have a question. What is the standard treatment for hypothermia?"
"...why are you asking?"
"When a person dives into very cold water, say, if they were chasing a semi-aquatic Hollow into a lake and the air temperature is below--"
"Kuchiki, how do you have Abarai's phone if he just jumped into a lake after a semi-aquatic Hollow?"
"Because he threw it at me and yelled 'call Rukia and ask her how to treat hypothermia, I'm sure she knows.'"
"But you didn't call Rukia."
"I did not. I would prefer if she did not find out that I let Abarai jump into a frozen lake. I did not mean to. He is very quick and also a bad listener. Hmm. The water is turning very red. Hollows do not usually have red blood. It would probably be a bad idea to jump in after him, don't you think? Then, we would both have hypothermia."
"Where are the two of you?"
"The thirty-first district of North Rukongai."
"Okay, that's too far away. (yes, it's your brother. no, everything is not fine. no, i think it's better if you let me talk to him.)"
"Is my sister there?"
"Yes, your sister is here."
"What are you doing with my sister, Hitsugaya Toushirou? She already has an official, family-approved suitor!"
"Does she, Kuchiki? Or does she have an official, family-approved popsicle? (no! no, stop grabbing! Matsumoto, some help please!)"
"Forget what I said earlier, he is coming out of the lake now. (Abarai! What is the limb situation? Ah, excellent, well done!) He even has all of his limbs. He does look rather pale and is shaking a lot, so perhaps we should get back to the hypothermia question."
"To be honest, I don't know that much about it. Usually I'm trying to freeze people to death. I only know what they teach in the decadal first aid refresher. Maybe you shouldn't have done that sleeping-with-your-eyes-open thing the last time we had--"
"Captain Hitsugaya, perhaps we could save the recriminations for later. Abarai is dying."
"Fine. I'm giving the phone to Rukia, who is here to work on her bankai, the same as every Tuesday afternoon. Kuchiki, tell your brother how to fix the hypothermia he gave your boyfriend."
"Brother!"
"Hello, Rukia! I would like to clarify, I did not 'give' Abarai hypothermia. He is very difficult to--"
"Stop talking, I know how he is. I am not holding you responsible. I only heard half the conversation, is he wet?"
"He dove into a lake, so yes."
"Okay, your first priority should be to dry him off."
"(Abarai, Rukia says you need to dry off. Yes, I know I have told you not to do that. Go ahead and do it. Just try not to get me--ugh! I told you not to--!")
"Is he trying to dry off by shaking himself like a dog? Don't let him do that!"
"It is surprisingly effective."
"It could also cause him to go into cardiac arrest so please don't let him do that!"
"(Abarai, Rukia says your heart will stop working if you do that. Yes, it sounds fake to me, too. I am just the messenger.)"
"I would hang up on you, except that then Renji would definitely die. Look, is there shelter nearby? Somewhere you can get him inside?"
"No. Can I just pick him up and flash step him back to town?"
"No, that would also cause his heart to stop. (Captain Hitsugaya, can we send a message down to-- oh, you already have? Oh, great, thank you!) Captain Hitsugaya has already called the Fourth. They're sending a medic to you, but it'll probably be at least an hour. In the meantime, you need get him dry and start to warm him up. Do you have any spare clothes?"
"Why would we have spare clothes?"
"I don't know! Sometimes people carry spare capes! They come in handy! Can you give him your haori?"
"Of course not, he hasn't passed the Captains' Examination."
"Okay, well, make him take his wet clothes off, and you figure out which parts of your outfit you can spare. Don't tell me. I don't want to know."
"Oh, I see. Hmm. Wait, Rukia. Before I disrobe, I read a book once, where someone was in a cold climate and they were freezing to death, and they killed a bear--"
"Do not put Renji inside the dead Hollow, Byakuya. I mean it."
"Hollows disintegrate when they die, Rukia, and even if they didn't, he left it at the bottom of the lake. (You did kill it, right? All right, good.) Ahem. I was just thinking that I could find a bear--"
"You do not have time to find and kill a bear, Brother."
"Hmm. Very well. (Abarai, take off your pants. Rukia says so.)"
(various mumbling and other noises)
"All right. I have returned. Abarai is wrapped up in both our cloaks."
"Wait, you had a cloak this whole time?"
"Of course I had a cloak. We went to the mountains of North Rukongai. Of course we dressed appropriately. Abarai even had the presence of mind to remove his before jumping in the lake. (Yes, I know it was so you could swim better. Do you wish to take this phone call?)"
"You could have--you know what? Never mind. Okay, do you have any field rations with you? Getting some warm food or liquid in him would be very helpful. Even if you can just warm some water with kidou and give it to him, that would be good."
"We did not bring any provisions. We were only supposed to come out here for an afternoon and we did not expect to have to leave town. (No, Abarai, I do not think you should drink that lake water. Well, a Hollow died in it, for one thing.)"
"Brother, do me a favor. Go touch his skin and tell me what it feels like."
"His skin?"
"Yes, I want to know if it's cold."
"Does it matter where?"
"Not really, I guess."
"(Abarai, stick your arm out of the cloak. Look, this is very unpleasant for both of us!) I am touching his arm. I would say it is approximately 30C."
"How can you-- never mind. I don't want to know. Is he shivering? Are his teeth chattering?"
"Less so than before, on both counts. That is good, right? That means he is warming up?"
"No, it means his body is shutting down. Is he still talking to you? Is he lucid?"
"He is still talking, a thing that I assume he would keep doing even after all other vital signs have ceased. I will check the state of his reason. (Abarai, who was the captain of Sixth Squadron during the Hellish Dangai Incursion of 892? No, it's not a trick question. All right, it's a little bit of a trick question…That's a really questionable interpretation of events, Abarai. No, I do not think there are any historians that would agree with you.) Rukia, I will be honest. He is not at his best."
"If he's talking and making sense, that's…something at least. But he's not in good shape and you've got to do something to help him warm up until the medic gets there."
"'Sense' is really debatable, Rukia."
"I think you're going to have to do the kaidou, Brother."
"My understanding is that the body temperature stabilization kidou should only be performed in a sheltered location by a trained Squad 4 medic."
"Yeah, that's the clinical one, and you are correct. You need to do the emergency one. It's not as good generally, but it's less tricky. It should help, though! Zabimaru runs hot, so if you can just give them a jumpstart, Renji will probably stabilize by himself."
"(Oh, is that so?) Abarai says you cast this on him 'all the time.' Why didn't you bring this up earlier? And why are you freezing my lieutenant 'all the time'?"
"He likes it. And I assumed you would refuse!"
"Why would I refuse? Which kaidou is it again?"
"Did you really sleep through the decadal first aid refresher? It's number 17!"
"Number 17…that's the one where…oh."
"Can you do it, Brother?"
"..."
"Brother?"
"When you say you do this to him 'all the time', is it because you are truly giving him hypothermia constantly, or is it just a ploy to…you know?"
"..."
"Rukia?"
"Must it be one or the other, Brother?!"
"Well, I was just wondering if the full body contact was truly compulsory, or if maybe I could just…do it from a respectful distance."
"You have to hug him, Brother."
"..."
"It's not so bad, Brother! You nearly cut off an arm and a leg to save me once!"
"...what if I were to sit next to him, so that our sides were touching? I…I could probably even put my arm around him."
"A side-hug is not going to cut it! The whole trick of the thing is getting your saketsu and hakusui close enough to his! You can hug him from behind, if that makes things better."
"I think that might actually be worse, Rukia."
"You're just going to have to hug him normally, then. Renji gives very good hugs! I tell you it won't be so bad! Just do it!"
"I am only doing this for you, Rukia."
"I appreciate it, Brother."
"(All right, Abarai. Brace yourself. As unpleasant as it is, I am going to have to--no, I will not 'bring it in!' Why must you make this worse than it already is?)"
(unintelligible)
"Brother? Brother, are you still there?"
"I am still here. I am doing it. I am hugging him. This is terrible."
"Are you doing the kaidou?"
"...right. The kaidou. I am now doing the kaidou. Ahem."
"Hi, Rukia, can you hear me? He's got the phone kinda close to my face and I can hear you!"
"Renji, is that you?!"
"It's me! He's hugging me, Rukia! This is so weird!"
"We can memory wipe both of you later, probably."
"No, I mean, he's really bad at it! This is the worst hug I have ever gotten!"
"Shut up, Abarai."
"I think you need to relax a little, Captain. Loosen up those arms."
"I do not want pointers, Abarai."
"Well, I'm having--a little trouble--breathing."
"Oh. I see. Yes, sorry."
"Not to interrupt all the fun you two are having, but does it seem to be working?"
"I have no idea. Abarai, is it working?"
"It's pretty different than when you do it, Rukia, but I think it is. Can I have a real hug when I get home?"
"You can have as many hugs as you want when you get home."
"Ahem."
"I am trying to keep him thinking positive, Brother! You can also have as many hugs as you want when you get home! It sounds like you need some practice."
"..."
"Or if you'd rather just have a stiff drink, I'm sure that can also be arranged."
"As you say, Rukia: why not both?"
"Sounds good to me, Brother!"
~end
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Good People (Platonic)
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Summary: While in the Wasteland, running on nothing but fumes and even less hope, you meet someone. Someone who might just be the one thing you need in a place like this: a friend.
Note: This is shorter than my usual stuff (both in terms of words, probably, and also just in terms of content - more so a scene than anything else; maybe a series of short scenes showing Lucy's arc if you guys want and how her friendship with Y/N develops?) Let me know in an ask!
You were a survivor. You had been since the moment you were born, but you weren't sure how much longer that was going to last.
Your day hadn't started off good, you see. You were running out of water and had passed out earlier due to some kind of infection - no idea what it was or who/what it was from, you had come across a lot of beings and things in your travels - and some guy had thought you were dead and even pissed on you just in case. Was not refreshing, or nice.
You had fought him off, tackling him to the floor and punching him quite a few times. You didn't kill him, however. You just left him be after that.
An odd fellow with a briefcase who promise you everything you could ever want passed you by. He gave you something that gave you a boost. You had no caps, so the only piece of fluid you had left on you - your water container - was given to him in exchange for this item.
So, now you were even more screwed then before.
The man even seemed to somewhat pity you, but he still left.
You find an abandoned bus. It's been picked, recently or otherwise doesn't really matter, picked clean is picked clean. Or, well, as clean as you can get within the apocalypse.
"Hello?" a voice says. You spin around, reaching for a weapon you don't have as you lost it in the scuffle before, and so instead duck down - hitting your head on one of the seats.
You hear the person outside cringe.
"Sorry," she says, earnestly to your shock, "that sounded like it hurt."
"...It did," you find yourself saying in reply, but still keep your head done.
"Sorry," she says, again, "it's ok," she assures you, "I won't hurt you. I promise."
You peak your head up. The first thing you notice, is how clean she looks. She gives you a bright smile.
"Hi," she says, enthusiastically.
You just blink at her.
"It's ok," she assures again, "my weapon is away. I just - I just wanna talk. I'm a bit lost out here give, you know, everything is mainly just sand."
You guess that's fair. So, against your better judgment, you make your way to the stairs at the bus, and sit down. The woman sits down, letting out a sigh, glad to be able to rest for a moment.
She stretches. You adjust your neck. You must've slept funny.
"I'm Lucy," she says, holding out a hand to you.
"Y/N," you say, shaking her hand. Feels weird, being this open with someone.
"Y/N," she says, "that's a nice name. I never knew someone called Y/N before."
You're about to ask her why, when you see what she's wearing.
You whistle, or as best you can with a dry throat, it's croaky but the idea comes through, "you one of them Vault Dwellers?"
"I am," she says, and you're unsure if it's a proud statement or not, "but, I do also recognise my privilege for being one."
You hum, "how you finding up here?"
"Hot," she says, "we have air conditioning in the vaults. So, it's weird not being able to just turn down the temperature."
You chuckle. She smiles.
"Thank you for not trying to kill me."
You gesture to yourself, "don't exactly have anything to do that with, you know? Besides, you're not a bad person. I've met some bad people, you ain't one of them."
"Thank you. I knew there were good people out here."
You shrug, "I don't think I'm exactly 'good', but I've known worse."
"Well, I'm glad I've run into you. You're alot nicer than the previous man I met."
"Yeah, there'll be people like that..." you pause, then ask the question on your mind, "what brings you top side, Lucy?"
"Oh," there's a hint of hope, mixed with sadness in her eyes while she answers, "I'm looking for my dad. Some horrible woman called Moldaver took him. She steals dads."
You may internally find that last part funny, but you find yourself saying 'I'm sorry' to her about her plight. She thanks you once again.
"You're not crazy like that other man."
She's blunt, you'll give her that.
"I can be," you don't quite know why you're insulted by it.
She cocks her head to the side, "I'm good at reading people," you aren’t sure on that one, but you don't say anything, "and you're not like that previous man."
"What'd he do?"
"Drank most of my water. You ever met anyone like that?"
"Guy pissed on me this morning. Another stole my canteen."
"Oh..." Lucy says. You nod, expecting this to be the end of your conversion, but then she reaches behind herself for something. Instinct makes you freeze, but she just gives you a reassuring smile once again, and holds something out to you.
Her own canteen.
You look at her, doubt, confusion, and thanks all in your eyes at once.
"Take it," she insists, shaking it a little to tell you that there is still water inside it, "I mean it."
"But, that other man --"
"He's greedy. You aren't. And, judging by your lips, rough voice, inability to whistle, and slight grovel to your voice, and the way you hold yourself," perceptive too, "you need this more than I do."
"You sure?" she nods. Hesitantly, looking from her to the canteen as you reach out - her leaning forward to help you with your lack of energy due to dehydration and all - you grab it. It's not harsh, you don't rip it out of her grasp. Your actions are slow, deliberate.
You open it, and lift it up to your mouth, letting a few water droplets hit it.
You close it and give it back to her. But she pushes it to you again. This goes on a few more times.
"I meant what I said," she says, "take it."
You look around at the desert, "next water well won't be for a while."
She shrugs, "there's a town nearby. There should be some there. But, either way, you need this a lot more than I do."
You drink the rest of it. And, you feel ok. Not great, but better.
You cough a bit. Both due to whatever illness you have, and just from the water and how fast you drank it.
"That's a bad cough," she notes, taking the canteen back.
"Ah, it's nothing," you say, waving her off. Had worse infections.
You stand up, and she holds her hands out in case you fall. You put a hand up, telling her you're ok.
"Well," you say, "thank you for that, and the talk. Good people are few and far between. Best of luck --"
"Hey, wait!" she calls out as you start to walk away, "wait, please. Maybe - maybe you can help me."
"I ain't exactly much help given the lack of weapons, strength, and my illness."
She frowns, "well, once we find my dad, we can go back to my vault, we have doctors there who can help you and give you a good meal!"
She's preppy, but soon that softens in her eyes, "please...I can stop people from...urinating on you."
You snort at her disgust of the language. She has a lot to learn. Social ettiquite may exist in some places in the wasteland, but not everywhere.
"Well, when you put it like that..." you say, before smiling. She beams at you.
"Okey Dokey!" she exclaims.
"Okey Dokey!" you find yourself saying in kind, not mocking for once - you and your mouth had gotten you into trouble before, it was nice to not have some agenda with it this time. To let your guard down.
"Have you ever been to Filly before?" she asks you as you walk side by side. Though, she slows up a bit as you try and both get your strength back and keep your remaining bit.
"Once or twice when passing through," you say.
"Alrighty then," she says, glad to not be going in completely blind, "'this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.'" she says to you, clearly quoting something, based on her voice. You look at her confused.
"I'll show you the film when we're back at the vault," she says, before you continue on your way.
It's good to meet someone who didn't want to kill you on sight or extort you or something.
It was nice to not be alone anymore.
Lucy feels the same way. She has a sort of guide now. A friend.
An actual friend from the outside.
She's glad.
And, little did she know how right she'd be. It would be a friendship that would stand the test of time and everything in between.
Lucy had just met her best friend.
You had met yours.
Even if you both didn't know just how dark and dangerous the road ahead would get...
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kaldurcalm · 2 hours
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Someone shared a post about the pear of anguish, saying it was used to torture slaves, and I thought its design was interesting but something felt slightly off, so I looked it up.
The first thing you see when you look this thing up is that its usage is disputed.
Apparently the mechanism doesn't seem to work the way it's said to work? It's said that people would slowly enlarge the opening in order to spread an orifice wider and wider, and that it could even break jaws.
The thing is, this device does not seem to open in this way. It seems to spring open. The screw mechanism is for closing it.
I relayed this information, thinking this was someone who would actually care about fact checking. "It might not actually have worked in this way. Its usage is disputed."
For some fucking dadblamed reason, they took this as me... questioning the existence of racism? And denying the suffering of black people?
I do a little more digging, and it's basically the same thing over and over. One guy insists that it's totally a torture device, because why else would it be in torture chamber museums?
I don't know, buddy, maybe because people like to make up stories and scare others.
That's one running theory for the existence of this thing: people wanted a good story. They wanted to be able to sell that story in order to make money. So they made elaborate devices and charged people to see them, or displayed them in order to scare their guests.
This part of the speculation, by the way, is from medieval times. There are no modern accounts of this item's usage.
We have so many accounts of slavery. We have so many ways to spread information. We're still able to converse with some of the children of the people who are still alive. We can still see the documents they left during that time.
Why would they leave this out? If it were actually in use, why would they relay the whippings, the confinement, the rape, the starvation, the harsh working conditions, the lynchings, the forced assimilation, and just... not mention this part?
Their friend piled on. I told him my statement was based on the way the device functions, and not "white people wouldn't do that." I told them that I didn't expect better from him, because I didn't know him, but I did expect better from them.
Apparently this was me making assumptions.
Gonna be honest, I didn't read the entirety of their responses, because this sort of thing is maddeningly upsetting to me. I thought I was safe to say something because, when I accidentally sent them a video by Alexis Nelson, they called it funny and informative. I know that doesn't seem like much, but... honestly, Alexis isn't going to be up everyone's alley, and sometimes that's due to bigotry. So I thought they would actually care, and not be mad about being checked. I've been in that situation plenty of times, and I normally don't say anything if I don't think I'm going to get through. I only say something if I have hope for that person.
I thought I might actually have a potential friend, and said person responded to "Hey this information might not be accurate" with... honestly, I can barely even parse the way they worded things? Something about slavery happening whether it was disputed or not.
I just wanted to fact check an unsourced facebook post.
#this has contributed to me feeling like no one wants to listen to anything i have to say and every relationship i have is doomed to fail!!#which I recognize is unhealthy!!#fellas is it splitting to get mad and unfriend someone for this nonsense#hm. maybe not what splitting is.#it's just so frustrating when someone is self righteous about their victim mentality#and every additional 'I'm not attacking you actually!' statement is perceived as an additional attack#I know I've done that but I'm WORKING ON IT#so it's frustrating to encounter in the wild and it sends me into the stratosphere#the fuck do you MEAN 'slavery happened even if it was disputed' i meant the SPECIFIC DEVICE YOU'RE MAKING CLAIMS ABOUT#I'm wildly oversimplifying. it was one hell of a sentence.#WHY DO YOU WANT MORE PAIN#THERE'S ENOUGH AS IT IS#WHY IS BAD IF I SAY THIS MIGHT NOT HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN USED TO HURT PEOPLE#WHY AM I THE ENEMY#WHY AM I THE ONE MAKING ASSUMPTIONS#I THOUGHT WE COULD BE FRIENDS#sorry I'll go try to forget about this now#between this and someone saying she needs ai because commissions are too expensive and free images aren't good enough i just...#don't feel like saying anything to anyone anymore#and I missed my window for productivity today. I should have sat down to write and I didn't#and now I'm tired and frustrated because bg3 glitched wyll's cape away and i don't know which save to load to get it back#or if it's my compute#it already ate my opportunity to get everything from dammon#i might need to reinstall#personal#why did i even try. i was shaking so bad. why does it hurt this much.#torture device
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girlscience · 5 months
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do it scared. do it weird. do it alone. etc. I ended up finding a compromise to my dilemma. I didn't do everything I wanted, but I did more than nothing. And now I know I could do it again and do maybe even more.
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cuntwrap--supreme · 8 months
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Important life lesson I've learned recently: Never fall in love with an anarchist.
#leon bitches#I'm dying#yesterday i slept for three hours before the horror of what's happening kicked in and insomnia kept me from sleep#fucking went and ran like four miles just to drive the thoughts of him out of my brain#didn't work#but before that i had a complete mental breakdown like i haven't in so so long#like. unable to get off the floor. unable to stop hysterical crying. unable to stop shaking.#it was pretty bad#and it's no wonder i didn't sleep. how could i when the only thing I've hoped for for years - my only goal - is distancing himself from me?#and i know I'm making generalizations but anarchists all have shit going on in their heads dude#like. my take on anarchy (as an anarchist) is that everyone should be kind even when we don't beed to be#and we need to do shit to save the planet even if it's kinda extreme#radical kindness kinda route. but without some government entity forcing it. it's just how we should be.#but his type is very overthrow the government kill the politicians force the world to get better#and i agree with bits of that. mostly because it would be faster than waiting for people to wake up and choose kindness.#but he is legitimately about doing shit that can accelerate that change#one of the earliest conversations i had with him he was saying he voted for trump in the hopes he'd collapse the country#that way we can bring on the Mad Max Times which he said are step one for rebuilding a better world#and i think that might be when i fell in love with him#because here's this self-stated conservative hillbilly yet he's as much of a punk as i am#because - as much as i want change to happen without too much death - I've always said the mad max times will have to happen#and he used the exact term I've always used: Mad Max Times#and then we stood around and talked about the best ways to kill politicians and change the world#and he laughed at me for thinking humanity isn't too far gone to be nice#said even in the Star Trek universe there had to be violence before utopia#but i said expecting people to have any shred of decency left is the only way i can cope with the world#and he said that's kinda punk of me. and i maybe got kinda lightheaded thinking how perfect he was.#but he's also literally insane. incredibly unhinged man.#purposefully puts himself into conflict with others in the hopes of getting to kick the shit out of some arrogant dickhead#and i think that's just how anarchic people are. we're all a little fucked in the head. no shade.
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emile-hides · 10 months
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I'd tried the Grimace Milkshake way early in the month and was so confused on what was so meme worthy about such a mediocre shake??
I realize now I had a Drastically Different experience than everyone else
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boku-no-anime-phase · 3 months
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If I got isekai'd into another world like Sei in The Saint's Magic Power is Omnipotent I would Not be accepting romantic attention from some tall blond man because I simply would not be able to shake the suspicion that women are viewed as property in my new environment.
And this is why I don't get chosen to be isekai'd into new worlds where I get to be inexplicably good at everything and adored by every man
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