summary || Based on the tik tok @serenaivory where in a world everyone sees black and white until they meet their soulmate. Steve Rogers and Leila fall in love and marry knowing they can't see color with each other. Until Leila is introduced to Steve's best friend, Bucky Barnes...and starts to see color.
Suddenly, Bucky and Leila are pulled into the complex whirlwind of betrayal and lust as they find this new world of color, and each other, completely captivating.
pairing || Bucky Barnes x OC
word count || 2,183
"This dress is stunning on you, Leila." My maid of honor Nat says next to me. She's standing behind me facing a mirror in the bride's room and catches my eye.
Today is the happiest day of my life. I am marrying my best friend. The man who saved me from my demons and I saved him from his. There really isn't any day that can top this.
I take a deep breath and smile, "Thanks, Nat. You know I didn't know which dress to pick. You helped me so much." I turn around and I can see her grey eyes fill with tears.
"I'm just happy that my best friend found someone." Nat breathes out and takes my hands in hers. I squeeze her hands. She practically fell on the floor when Steve told her that we were dating three years ago; she wanted nothing but the best for Steve. And now, she's my maid of honor and I am getting an almost sister.
I can tell her tears are happy ones. But I can also sense something else. I tilt my head and hug her tight.
"What's up, Nat? What are you thinking about?" It can't be anything going on right now. It must be something that she can't stop thinking about. I wonder if she got in a fight with Bruce?
"Leila, I love you. You know that," Nat starts and takes a deep breath, "but you and Steve don't see color."
Oh. That's what she's thinking about. Something that we all suffer when we're born. We aren't able to see color. I've been seeing black and white all my life and I just got used to it. I don't see anything special in these 'colors' people talk about. One can only see color when they find their soulmate. Whether it's a friend, parent, or lover it doesn't matter the type of soulmate.
Steve and I haven't found ours yet. The moment we met three years ago we felt an instant connection we kind of took it as our own 'soulmate' thing. I didn't mind not seeing color with Steve and I know he doesn't mind either. We've only talked about it a few times, but I know in my heart he's the one for me. Colors or not.
I swat the air away with my hand and smile, "Nat, quit being ridiculous. You know I don't care about that."
"Are you sure you want to marry Steve? What if you never get to see color with him? Maybe it's like a delayed reaction?" Nat says to me with worried eyes.
"Sure, I want to marry him. The colors will show eventually and you know even if it doesn't, my heart won't change how I feel about Steve."
"Okay, fine." Nat sighs. "I trust you." She gives me one last hug and turns us both back to the mirror. My dress has so many intricate details that even if I can't see color I can see the beauty of it. It's full of simple lace along the bust and trickles down the skirt and ends at the train of the dress. It has sleeves that are mesh so it's see through but the lace detailing creates a beautiful pattern along my arms. I hope to keep this dress forever.
Nat's dress is also beautifully made with light silk fabric in hints of pink (Nat's words not mine) and sweeping past her long legs with a small slit. It accentuates her curves so well, something I will always be jealous of.
Suddenly, we hear the door open and my cousin, Kelli peers in smiling, "It's time!" She says.
I nod and hold Nat's hand as I grab my bouquet in the other and walk to the door. My cousin helps me with the train behind my dress and says she will get the flower girl ready as well as the ring bearer once I'm near the entrance of the wedding hall. It's not too far of a walk and I can hear the music down the hall as we get close. My heart starts to go double time as I near the doors and hear the symphony stop to prepare for the bride's walk down the aisle song. I know the bridesmaids and groomsmen are already there with Steve. Nat decided to stay behind and walk me down the aisle since it was just me. I lost my parents years ago and while I was freaking out to Steve that I wouldn't have anyone to 'give me away' at the altar that's when Nat stood up in our little living room and said she would do it. I know how much Steve means to her so I guess learning about our future marriage made me an extension to that. I couldn't be more grateful.
"Okay, here we go Mrs. Rogers," Nat whispers in my ear as we approach the doors and we slowly walk down the aisle. The guests on both sides stand up as the symphony plays a song and I look up finally a couple yards down the aisle to where my future husband stands waiting. His eyes lock with mine and I smile and can feel the tears come already. Nat squeezes my arm she's holding and I take a deep breath to compose myself. Breathe, Leila, breathe. This couldn't be more perfect.
I get to the altar and let Nat guide my hand to Steve's as she gives me away. She gives me a quick kiss on my cheek and I step up on the altar and face Steve. My God, he's beautiful. It always broke my heart that I couldn't see him in color. His eyes. I can't imagine knowing what color they are and just being drowned in them as I stare.
Steve does a small squeeze on my hand and brings me back to the present. To the altar where the priest begins the wedding ceremony. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the love between Leila Irving and Steve Rogers. It is a privilege to witness this love story tie a knot. If the groom and bridge can exchange their vows please do so now as we also exchange wedding bands."
Steve clears his throat and lets go of my hands to get a piece of paper in his tux. I can see his hands begin to shake as he opens it up and move his eyes to me. Instant butterflies every time we make eye contact.
"Leila, it seems like we've known each other forever. You are my sun, my moon, my dreams, and my hope. There isn't a day that goes by that I am glad to have met a soul like yours. It's been a while," Steve laughs and stares at the crowd as they laugh too. "A very long time, that I've encountered love again. It's like I was given another chance at it. And you are an angel sent from heaven to help me get that chance." Tears are starting to form in both of our eyes as he finishes his vows. "We have our differences and our similarities. We try to be the best we can for each other. I vow to love you endlessly and to continue to choose you even in the rough times. I vow to hold your hand through the dark and through the light. I vow to be the man that you can count on and lean on. I know we will grow old one day, but I want you to know that I couldn't last a thousand lifetimes without knowing that it ends with you."
I can hear sniffling in the crowd and I wipe my tears. Nat comes up behind me with a tissue and I thank her and dab my eyes lightly before giving it back to her. I turn to Nat and see her holding my paper and take it.
"Steve, how can I ever say in words what you mean to me? You came out of nowhere three years ago and I thought I honestly lost my mind." The crowd laughs and I continue, "You are my angel sent from above. I was in such a dark place after losing two parents and you were there for me through it all. I can never repay you for that. I love you then, now and forever. I promise to be there for you when it seems like the world has gone dark. I promise to lift you up when you succeed. I promise to continue to love you even when we're old and smelly. I don't see anyone else for me. It's you and it always has been." Steve takes my hands after I pass my vows back to Nat.
The priest clears his throat and says, "And now, to continue this love story, do you Steve Rogers take Leila Irving to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us apart?"
Steve smiles and says "I do." The priest says the same for me and I nod and smile and say, "I do!"
He slips on a wedding band on my finger and I do the same for him.
The priest closes his book and says to the church, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
"Oh, yes I will," Steve says as he pulls me close to him and dips me low and kisses me passionately. I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck as we hear the guests clap and scream in happiness. I can't contain myself and I laugh as Steve gives me one last kiss.
"I love you, husband." I whisper as he brings me back up in standing position.
"I love you more," Steve responds as he takes one of my hands and leads me down the aisle as the guests throw paper confetti to lead us out.
"How do you feel, married woman?" My cousin comes up behind me and squeals. I laugh and jump with her in unison as we hug. We're in the reception where guests are still filing inside and Steve is talking to his friends that visited from afar. He has so many friends from his past I lost count.
"I feel great! I can't believe this is my life. I am married. I am happy." I get a little sad and add, "I do wish my parents could be here."
My cousin wraps me in a hug. "They are here in spirit! Don't mess up your makeup crying when they want you to be happy on your wedding day!" I agree and shake off any of the sad jitters I have.
There are over a hundred guests here and only a quarter of them are mine. I don't have a big family and my circle of friends grew smaller as I grew up and moved to college and elsewhere. Steve on the other hand has his whole Avenger clan here and friends he made over the years. I can see him standing near the main table where we will be sitting during the reception. He's talking to someone in a suit and dark hair. That's the only thing I can describe without knowing colors. Whether someone's skin, hair, eyes, or clothes are dark toned or light toned. The man next to Steve is about the same height and same build. I can see Steve laughing at something but I can't see his friend's face since he is facing away from me.
"I'm going to Steve," I tell my cousin and she nods and finds more people to mingle with.
I make my way and Steve locks eyes with me and smiles. "Here she comes! Babe, there is someone I want you to meet."
"Who is it?" I continue walking and close our distance.
"Hey, Buddy! Meet Leila" I take Steve's hand that he's reaching out to me and look up as his friend begins to turn around. He's still laughing from whatever Steve and him were talking about before my interruption and it cuts me to my core. I feel it in my spine and in the pits of my stomach. I've only felt that with Steve's laugh ever.
"Bucky, meet Leila." Steve says.
When he finally turns around our eyes meet and that's when everything changes. Oh my god. It's like my world is flipped upside down. Turned inside out. I see him. His dark brown hair, his handsome blue eyes. The blue tuxedo with navy blue tie he's wearing. I'm speechless.
Apparently so is he. He's not the only one just now seeing color.
He shakes his head and says nonchalantly, "Congratulations." Then he unexpectedly pulls me in for a hug and whispers in my ear that sends shivers down my spine, "So, it's you." I start to shake my head. It can't be.
an; sorry for my inactivity with this series </3 i’ve been extremely busy. hopefully by the summer i can update it more often, this is also a little rushed.
pairing: jjk x reader
cw: jks gf acts like a toddler, oc is tired of her, jk is just ….. stupid he is a himbo 😞 word sex is used but there is no actual sex
second installment of my idlygf series :)
♪ ; sex yeah - mariana and the diamonds
Of course it's you who had to bump into Jungkook and his girlfriend at the most unlikely places. The convenient store. You hadn't even noticed them standing next to you until you got an oddly rough tap on your shoulder, whoever this was sure was an asshole.
You looked to your right, where the tap had come from, low and behold, Jungkook and his mean girlfriend. You were met with a pair of big soft eyes and a pair of cold ones.
You had seen her saying something but the words were inaudible, the music in your ears stopped you from hearing her squeaky voice. Thank God.
You reached to your ear to take out the hello kitty earbud out of your ear so you could hear her, but it seems someone did that for you already. Her pink polished nails reached up and yanked it out of your ear.
“Can you not hear? I said, move so Kook can get his slushie.” God, you want nothing but to box her face in right then and there, but it's likely that you would get kicked out for harassing a fellow customer.
it’s so fucking stupid.
“It’s okay baby, she was here first. She’s going to leave in a minute.” He rested his hand on her forearm and stroked it gently, in attempts to calm her down from her unnecessary meltdown;She shoved his hand away and let out a frustrated grunt.
“No! She’s been standing here for too fucking long and you wanted the slushie while we were walking to your house!” Like some kind of oversized toddler, she threw her hands by her side and stamped her foot on the ground, it almost looked like she was about to start crying.
“I have literally been standing here for two minut-“ She let out another obnoxious groan and cut your sentence short.
“Just shut up and move!” The unamused look on your face only seemed to anger her more. Did she want a reaction out of you or something? You had only been standing at the machine for two minutes? You were told you act like a child from time to time, but sheesh.
“Baby! Look at me, it’s fine. Let Y/N get her slushie okay?” He cradled her in his arms and made quiet ‘shh’ noises in her ear like she was a baby throwing a tantrum in an airport.
You rolled your eyes at the two and continued to fill your cup with the blue raspberry slush.
“Later.” You said with a tight lipped smile, you could still see that she was fuming. A small smirk danced on your face as you walked to the register.
You rested on your stomach with your hands holding up your head as you watched mean girls for the upteenth time this week. You wondered which character you resembled, Karen maybe? No! Its Regina, wait no it-
the sound of your phone ringing snapped you out of your train of thought, it’s…jungkook? What could he possibly want from you at 11:30 pm on a Tuesday night? You hesitantly clicked accept and raised the phone to your ear,
“Hello?” you heard a faint giggle at the other end of the line.
“Hey Y/N! You dropped your phone charm at the convenient store, thought I’d let you know, since you love it.” You felt yourself swoon at the kind gesture,
“Thank you Kook, I kinda didn’t notice but thanks for telling me.” another giggle bubbled from his throat, he must have been drunk.
“It’s no problem. Also, sorry for my girlfriend. She’s usually never this-“ a hiccup erupted from his throat,
“This bratty. Hope it didn’t bother you too much.” You didn’t need to see his face to know he was smiling like an idiot on the other end, you’re just wondering why he’s shitfaced on a school night.
“It’s fine Kook, thanks for telling me,” He giggled once more.
“I have to go now, you can *hiccup* come by tomorrow to pick it up,”
“Alright, bye.” A sigh escaped your lips as you hung up the phone.
You liked Jungkook, you really did. You had always denied your feelings for Jungkook extremely well, you always hid behind the excuse that he was your childhood best friend and hearing him give you such vulgar compliments was unusual and it flustered you. You’re surprised the excuse still worked since he hasn’t used one of those remarks towards you since you guys were 16.
It was only partially true, but it was mostly due to the fact that he made you horny by simply breathing. typical.
With another sigh, you set your phone on your nightstand and climbed into bed, with Marina and The Diamonds’s ‘Sex Yeah’ playing on your old stereo you’d gotten from your mother.
You shut your eyes while the music filled your ears. Tomorrow was a Wednesday, which was by far the worst day of the week.
You don’t even remember when you stayed more than a year in the same city. It probably started around the age of 3, when your father got his promotion he wanted for so long. That’s how your family used to move every year, or even shorter than this. You don’t remember having a childhood friend, and worst, have you ever had friends ?
The unfamiliar view of the busy city at your window made you remember that once again, you had to unpack the few items you owned. You quickly discovered it was more a burden to drag along unnecessary things that would later be a pain in the ass to unpack and pack forever. Only school books, clothes and some other accessories were keeping you company in this new room. So impersonal, cold. But it would stay this way, since you knew you’d probably move on again in few months. While tidying your room, you heard a knock on your door, making you look at it to see your father.
« Y/N ? Can we talk for a bit ? » he asked, a poker face on.
« Yes father. »
Father. From the moment you could speak, he always told you to call him father. No dad, or affectionate pet names. It was just showing the gap that have been created so far between you both. Your mom ? You don’t even remember her face. You learnt from your grand-mother a long time ago that your parents got divorced when you were just a newborn. The reasons to this separation are staying difficult to know, but your father never talked about her in your presence. You always thought that somehow she didn’t want you, that was probably the best reason you could thought due to the lack of her tries to contact you for 17 years. So instead of a mom, you grew up with a nanny who was still living with you and your father. She was a sweet and caring person, always making sure you weren’t lacking anything. You owed her a lot, knowing she was the one who was basically raising you up, of course with the directions of your father.
You soon arrived in the large living room, as impersonal as the rest of the luxurious apartment your father got from his work. It was neutral as possible, but still anybody could notice the taste for luxury he acquired with the time. Trophies, some modern canvas you couldn’t even interpret, a large TV with home cinema etc. Your father was sitting in his black leather armchair, in his usual white shirt and black suit. And you just sat down on the white sofa, waiting patiently for him to start.
« I got you a place in a school from a friend of mine. » he began, and you felt your body being rigid.
Studies were his obsession when it comes to you. You always had to be first, having the best grades, the best in every field you could reach. That was probably also the main reason of why you never got close friends. Because you were « Miss Perfect Brain » and the only child from a wealthy family, most of people thought you were just like one of those entitled kids who would think they are the one ruling in this world. But you were not. Actually, you never wanted any of those thing. How many times you wanted to go to clubs after class ? Just hanging out with kids from your age, sharing hobbies etc…But you never could because your father would always send you to study classes after your school schedules.
« The school ranking is pretty good, so I think you are able to reach 1st place right ? » he continued, his cold glare piercing your body, making you tighten your fists on your knees.
It would be a disaster for you to be 2nd. Actually not really for you, but for your father. With him, it was first or nothing, and nothing would results as punishment for you. Even since elementary school, he would force you to copy the mistakes you’d done until 2 in the morning, « to make you remember not to do the same mistakes again ». Sometimes depriving you from eating until you would perfectly recite the lesson. As a child, you had spent nights crying in your pillow, hating your father for being so mean to you, and today, you just gave up. As long as you were doing as told, everything would be fine, right ?
You nodded as an answer, finding the courage to finally look at his strict face.
« Y/N, this year is going to be a decisional one for you. After graduation, you’ll go to Korea University and study international business. Don’t deceive me » he announced, making you gulp at the end of his sentence.
Of course it wasn’t what you wanted. But what did you want in the first place ? You didn’t know. You couldn’t find any perspectives for yourself. And of course, you didn’t have a word to say.
« Yes Father… »
And without adding any words, he stood up and left for his office, leaving you alone in the living room. You wanted to cry, to yell how unfair it was for letting someone decide for yourself. You throat was dry and your fists were trembling from madness until you felt a comforting hand on your shoulder. It was Sookja, your nanny and the housekeeper. She probably heard the whole conversation, and was knowing perfectly how you felt at this moment.
« This is so unfair… » you mumbled into your breath, trying to hold back your tears of pure rage.
« I know sweetie… » the old woman sighed. « Maybe he will let you do what you want later » she tried to soften your mood, but it was already ruined.
You sighed and stood up, just shrugging to join your bedroom again, head dipping first into your pillow. You didn’t feel like unpacking, so you just stayed in your bed, until your nanny came to inform you dinner was ready. As usual, you were eating alone. Your father never ate with you, because of his schedules. How funny it was to see that even on your birthday he would be absent, justifying himself to be busy but that he would « make it up for the next year ». Weariness eventually took over sadness. This was your daily life, and you didn’t expect it to change now…Unless.
It was your first day at your new high school. You were so nervous that you had barely eaten on the morning. You were apprehending people. Of course you were used to see new faces all the time, but this time was different. You were arriving in the middle of the first semester in a school where everyone from your prom was knowing each other’s, and to crowned everything, your father was accompanying you this morning to greet his friend, the principal for this year. The more the black Audi was entering the school yard, the more you wanted to become a mouse. You hated so much those looks of curiosity, or full of judgment. Your father intimated you to get off the car, which you did, looking at the floor while the Principal was waiting at the main entrance. You didn’t hear the following conversation, your heart beating too fast and in your ear. Some students stopped to watch the scene, and some of them at the windows were taking pictures. How embarrassing. Little did you know a group of boys were also watching from the first floor.
« Heh, is this the new girl everyone’s talking about ? » hummed a blonde boy, his chin in the palm of his hand while he was leaning on the window sill.
« Seems like it » answered a tall boy, a lollipop in his mouth. « Dude, she looks hot »
« Mingi, you even haven’t seen her face yet » groaned the little blonde again.
Mingi shrugged and said. « Hongjoong, she’s rich, so she’s hot »
« You’re an idiot » sighed the said Hongjoong, rolling his eyes in exasperation. « What d'you think Yunho ? »
Yunho stayed silent during the whole conversation, hands in his pockets as he was watching the scenery before scoffing. « She’s just a little rich bitch » he mumbled before turning from this, going to his classroom.
You had to stay at the professor’s room, so that the Principal could introduce you to your homeroom teacher. Strangely enough, all the teachers seemed too nice. Of course they were. The shadow of your father must be planning around. « Let’s go introducing you to your new comrade » said your teacher enthusiastically which made you forced a smile. You silently followed him to the door where he made a sign for you to wait. Your heart was about to explode, as you could hear the sounds for chairs and people chatting in the classroom. You didn’t know how much you waited in this hallway, but your teacher appeared again, calling your name. You jumped a little, not expecting this time to come…so quickly. Gulping again, you slowly passed the door to present you in front of everyone, your eyes scanning the room. « Can you please introduce you ? » Asked your teacher, everyone’s waiting to hear the sound of your voice for the first time. You really wanted to run away and never come back, but you couldn’t. Your father would definitely kill you.
« H-hi, my name is Y/N, nice to meet you » you said, quite unsure of yourself.
Some kids applauded, which made you blush from embarrassment.
« Alright, Y/N you can go sit next to Yunho there » said your teacher, pointing at the front row at the very left of the room, not to say the corner.
Your eyes landed for the first time on the boy called Yunho. His black wavy hair were hiding his forehead and also his eyes, but you could definitely feel he was glaring at you. Not staring, but glaring as if you did something wrong. But what could you have done wrong ? Was sitting next to him a crime ? You awkwardly sat down next to him, feeling the cold tension radiating from the silent boy next to you. At some point, you really felt uncomfortable, to the point you didn’t dare looking at him a single time. You tried your best to focus on the class, nervously holding your pen. Surprisingly, the first two hours of class went by fast, but you still haven’t talked with Yunho, and he seemed not trying to neither. When the bell ranged, announcing the first break of the day, you gathered your things before you heard his deep voice for the first time.
« Move. » he ordered in an annoyed tone, his tall figure dominating your frail one.
Your heart stopped beating for a second, suddenly scared. He seemed mad at you for God knew which reason, but you quickly moved to let him pass, looking at your feet while you could hear a « Tsch… » from him.
What the hell was happening ? Why this boy was hating you from the start ? You took your phone and went to the girls toilet, to regain composure, but still, you felt a dark aura from him. While you were thinking about this, you heard girls gossiping outside the cabinet you were occupying.
« Did you see that ? She is next to Yunho ! »
« The poor girl, I bet she won’t stay next to him for a long time » said another girl, in a mocking way.
« She doesn’t know he’s a total douchebag tho. »
« Hey ! He’s still hot. But yeah, a douchebag »
And they laughed before exiting the place. What does this mean ? You began to get really worried about this Yunho. He seemed to be a bad guy, but was he really ? You inhaled deeply again before going back to your classroom, expecting to see Yunho again, but he wasn’t here anymore.
Class started again, and you couldn’t help but wonder where Yunho went and why he left. Your new Korean literature teacher didn’t seem surprised when doing roll call. « Ditching classes again huh ? » he mumbled before going on.
At lunch time, you searched for a place to eat alone. You didn’t feel like going to the cafeteria or stayed in class to eat, so you went to the rooftop, surprisingly empty. You expected to see at least one or two people…But anyway, it was better for you. Leaning against the wall of the staircase, you took out the lunch box Sookja made for you with your favorite food inside as a good luck charm for your first day. It slightly made you smile and brought you some comfort. You didn’t want to think to anything, just having some peace until you heard loud laughs from the stairs, making you panicking and quickly packed your lunch to see a group of boys who seemed as surprised as you to find you here.
« Oh, isn’t the « New girl » ? » smirked the small blonde guy.
You quickly looked away, mumbling a « sorry » before trying to pass over them, but an arm blocked your route.
« Hey, you could at least say hi when someone’s talking to you » groaned the tallest from the pack.
You felt intimidated. You just wanted to leave, without creating any problems. You looked up at the tall guy, scared about what he was about to do next until you noticed wavy black hair. Yunho was here also, and he didn’t seem to pay attention.
« I-I’m sorry, I just want to go p-please » you said weakly, the panic gaining your body each second passing by.
« Tss, is that how rich bitch like you are behaving huh ? »
This was escalating quickly. You were too scared to do anything, when you saw the tall guy’s hand reaching out for you too rapidly, making you flinch.
« Mingi. Stop. »
It was Yunho’s voice. As you shut your eyes tight, you slowly opened them to see an annoyed Mingi, rubbing his nape in frustration while the blonde guy was shocked. Yunho looked at his friends.
« Hongjoong, let’s go somewhere else » he added to the blonde guy.
Hongjoong nodded and slighlty pushed Mingi away to the stairs, only Yunho staying still, his dark orbs fixed on you in silence.
« Hey, I really hate people like you, but I didn’t want Mingi to do something bad, so you better go now. » he warned, giving you a cold shiver in your back.
Why was this always like this ? No matter where you go, people always hate you, or fake to be friendly to you because of your status. You felt tears filling your eyes, but you with the few pride left in you, you left Yunho alone on this rooftop, running away from him until next class. You were certain of a thing, Yunho hated you and you're far to know he'd soon take advantage of you.
chapter 2 coming soon ! please let me know what you think about this first chapter <3
taglist: @palegardenrebel @mirror-juliet @twancingyunhoe (comment to be added in the taglist)
Annabeth started to notice just how many campers would stare at her throughout the day. Mealtimes were the worst, when everyone was gathered together and she could see all the heads turn to look at the child of Athena sitting at the Poseidon table.
Percy and her had been inseparable since the fall. Hedge, Chiron, and even Mr. D knew it was best to let them both sleep in the Poseidon cabin, eat meals together, and do pretty much anything at camp as a team. It was rare to catch Annabeth anywhere without him, her recent meeting with Thalia being the exception.
Of course she told Percy about her plans. He was the only one to know for a long time, until Annabeth had a more concrete process in mind that she could convince others of.
“Do you think I’m losing it?” she asked him one night on the Argo II.
He looked at her with those beautiful sea green eyes and troublemaker smile that she had come to adore and replied, “Not at all. Crazy people never wonder if they’re crazy.” She smiled softly into his chest. Annabeth knew that he may just be telling her what she wanted to hear, but that didn’t bother her. Knowing Percy’s on her side was all the comfort she needed.
The rest of her free time that summer had been spent planning. Annabeth knew she had been distant from her friends and siblings, but quite frankly she didn’t think it mattered. It would be worth it in the end.
Every time Annabeth thought of the future, her future, she felt a giddy happiness. She couldn’t help it- the excitement bubbled up inside her, intoxicating her like a drug. The idea that something so violent shouldn’t make her so elated only crossed her mind every once in a while. She managed to ignore the concern most of the time.
“Annabeth, I’m sorry, but you won’t be allowed to lead a team in capture the flag anymore,” Chiron said when she had taken a seat in the Big House. He had called for her down early that morning.
“Excuse me? I’m the best strategist camp has; my team won the game last night in record time,” Annabeth responded, her eyes forming a cold, hard glare at the centaur.
“And that resulted in a record number of injuries. A camper is dead. This isn’t your first warning, and now other campers are demanding that you be banned from the game.”
Annabeth was stunned. Sure, last night had turned out a little more violent than usual, but she had won. Wasn’t the point of practicing battle like this to learn that you must do whatever it takes to be successful? She had too many friends that died gruesome deaths fighting for their cause. How was this one camper any different from all of them?
Percy spoke up from his seat next to her. “It’s not Annabeth’s fault what happened to Cecil. He volunteered for the job.” Chiron’s gaze was shifting between the two of them. He looked concerned, though Annabeth had no clue why.
“You shouldn’t be making a plan that involves that kind of risk in the first place,” he said, his attention returning solely to Annabeth. What risk? She wanted to ask. There was nothing uncertain about whether or not Cecil was going to die. It was a part of her plan from the start, not some mishap, but telling Chiron that probably wouldn’t change his mind on the subject.
“You will no longer be allowed to play capture the flag, and that’s final.”
Annabeth wanted to argue with him, to scream that he was wrong, but he got up from the table and was out the door before she could get a word in. Annabeth didn’t understand it. Why was she being punished for doing what she’s been trained for her whole life?
Percy grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed it. “I’m sorry about this,” was all he said.
AN: I’m not sure if you want commentary but you’re gonna get it. What I’m trying to get across with Annabeth being banned from capture the flag for her dangerous plans is that she’s become desensitized to death. She’s seen so much of it in her life that she hardly views it as an extreme anymore and therefore is not opposed to using it as a device for success. This mindset is what I think of as dark Annabeth. She isn’t causing people pain for fun or just because, she’s doing it because of her trauma which makes it difficult for her to process injuries and death as something that should be avoided. Anyway, all chapters will be under ‘Her Future Annabeth’ tag. Thanks for reading!
Short ficlet I wrote on request from one of the fans on a HP page I admin. Fremione.
When a prank goes wrong, retreating is usually the most reasonable ending. Fred Weasley, though, has an odd way of going about it.
Description: Whilst coming to terms with everything they've been through, Alex, Steve, Nat and Sam recover and lay low as the dust settles. As they prepare to split ways for a while, and an insightful conversation with Steve is all Alex needs to know that things are going to be alright. That /she/ is going to be alright. A surprise from Tony makes the coming months all the more exciting.
Warning(s): mild language (barely??), discussions of past trauma/abuse, Alex starts to open up about The Facility, hospitals, graveyards, temporary goodbyes (if I missed anything lmk)
DAYS LATER, WHEN STEVE WAS DEEMED STABLE ENOUGH TO HAVE VISITORS, ALEX WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TO ARRIVE. The nightstand was decorated with flowers and various cards wishing him a speedy recovery and such. She was pleasantly surprised to find Sam was there already, reading a book.
"Hey," she greeted with a gentle knock on the door frame. Sam looked up and smiled at her before gesturing to the chair on the opposite side of the bed.
"How is he?"
"Well, thanks to whatever was in the Serum, he's healing faster than a normal human would, but it's still gonna take some time before he's up and fighting again," he explained in a low voice, to avoid waking him up. Alex nodded and set down a small, pastel blue teddy bear on the nightstand before she sunk into the seat.
"Not if he has it his way," she joked and Sam chuckled in agreement. From an iPod dock on the other side of Steve's bed, some 70s era music played quietly and filled the space between the words.
"He'll probably say the same when he wakes up, but I want you to hear it from me too," Alex began as she picked at a loose string in the knee of her jeans, "We couldn't have done most of what we did if you hadn't stuck your neck out for us, Sam. Thank you just doesn't cut it."
"Ah, well, I couldn't say no to Captain America, are you crazy?" They both stifled a round of laughter as Alex silently admitted that he made a fair point.
"True as that may be, I owe you one. Any time those wings of yours need fixing or upgrading swing by and I'll see what I can do," she offered with an earnest smile.
"I appreciate that, thank you." The comfortable silence resumed and Alex pulled her phone out of her pocket to send a few messages and check her emails.
"I have to ask - I know it's not my place and you can totally tell me where to go if you don't want to answer, but how did you get your powers? I don't think I've ever seen anything like them before." Alex had figured the topic would come up sooner or later, so she decided to tell him what he wanted to know with a slight sigh as she sat up in her chair.
"Well, almost two years ago, after the Battle of New York -"
"With the aliens and everything?"
"Yeah, that's the one. Tony was hosting some Minds of The Future party with a bunch of strange old white men and their wives. I was talking to some guy, who turned out to be a Neo-Nazi scientist. He drugged and abducted me -"
"Oh my God..."
"And kept me trapped in this grimy facility for six months. I was beaten, abused and experimented on. They were super close to just killing me because I hadn't shown any progress and pitted me against another kid that had been experimented on. And that's when my powers came through."
"Wow... So what kind of things can you do? Have you figured all of that out yet?" Sam set his book down, invested in what she had to say. His undivided attention was comforting and made a pleasant change from the erratic, ever-changing flow of conversation she was accustomed to having with Tony.
"So far, it's just walking through shadows. It's hard to explain, but it's like, every shadow is just an open corridor. I can walk right in and out the other side into a completely different place. I mainly use it to avoid taking the stairs at the moment." At this, they both shared a hushed laugh.
"Well, that sounds way more efficient. Does it ever tire you out? What does that in-between part look like?"
"Not really, it's kind of like when you stretch at the gym and you can feel that small tingling sensation in your muscles? It doesn't hurt and it's definitely not as exhausting as you'd think," she explained with a nod and Sam mirrored her, "The in-between is just... Dark. There's nothing. It's not cold and it's not warm... Just is."
"I see, sounds like there's a lot left to be explored if you ask me," he stated with a grin and knowing wink. Alex chuckled and nodded in agreement.
"Sure does. That's what I'm going to focus on for the next few months. I wanna see how far it goes, figure out limitations and stuff."
"Well, good luck with that, Shadow-Lady." Sam settled back into his seat and Alex cleared her throat.
"Dude -" he looked up at her, confused "- I'm The Phantom, not the Shadow-Lady."
"Ooh, that has a nice ring to it -"
"On your left," a voice croaked from between them and both Sam and Alex were quick to sit up and face Steve. His eyes were just able to stay open and his brow was creased in a squint at the harsh lights.
"Hey, man, welcome back to the land of the living," Sam teased as he dog-eared the page and set the book down. Although he looked worse for wear, the fact that Steve was awake and talking sent a flood of relief through Alex.
Once they'd filled him in on what happened after he'd fallen into the Potomac, Sam had to leave to get set up for the next VA meeting he was supervising. As he left with a wave and promise to stop by later, Alex relaxed into the uncomfortable vinyl-covered seat.
"I know it's the last thing you want to hear, but what you did back there on the Helicarrier, was unbelievably stupid," Alex stated after a moment of silence between them. Steve huffed out a weak attempt at a laugh before he grimaced at the obvious discomfort.
"Sounds like you were worried about me," he teased as he lay back against the pillows beneath his head.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Spangles." The familiarity of the teasing made Alex smile.
"You don't have to stay, y'know?"
"Well, I want to. So you're stuck with me until further notice."
"I'm not complaining." There was a smile that tugged on his lips and Alex started to see Steve becoming himself again.
"Awesome. I'm gonna find a vending machine, do you want anything?" Alex stood up and readjusted her hoodie. She secured the snapback on top of her head of slightly-dishevelled curls.
"Uh, sure, I'll have whatever you're having." With a nod, she left and navigated her way through the halls. When she was sure that no one was watching, she stepped into a shadow under a busted overhead light. Alex reemerged on the ground floor in front of the vending machines in the waiting room.
With her selection of junk foods successfully retrieved from the machines, Alex returned to Steve, triumphant in her efforts.
"Okay, I couldn't decide what I wanted more, so I got some Jolly Ranchers, Sour Patch Kids, a couple of bags of Lays and a bar of chocolate each." Unceremoniously, she dropped the foods on to his lap and Steve took the time to choose what he wanted first. As he plucked up a bag of Sour Patch Kids, Alex turned her attention to the TV mounted in the corner of the room.
"Do you wanna watch Total Wipeout? I think there's a few reruns on at the moment?" Steve hummed in agreement as he pushed a few of the sugared gummies past his lips. Alex stifled a laugh when his face twisted slightly at the sour taste.
"Why are you doing this, Alex?" the battered Super Soldier questioned as one of the contestants was flung from the circuit and landed in the water below.
"Because you did the same for me when I came home and needed a shoulder to lean on." That seemed to appease him and the two settled into a comfortable silence as the programme continued and they ate their junk food.
When Steve was inevitably discharged and allowed to return to his apartment, Alex helped him inside and set him up with all the things he needed within reaching distance. He'd insisted that he was fine, but she refused to listen to his excuses.
A couple of days later, there was a meeting arranged at a local cemetery, Steve asked Alex to join him. So she did. She'd never been to a cemetery before and the atmosphere kind of spooked her a little, so she kept close to Steve.
"So, you've experienced this kind of thing before?" Nick questioned Sam as he approached his own grave. It was a weird situation to witness, from Alex's point of view at least.
"You get used to it," Sam admitted as they took a moment to admire the headstone and the flowers.
"We've been data mining HYDRAs files. Looks like a lot of rats didn't go down with that ship. I'm headed to Europe tonight." Alex had a sense of where the conversation was headed.
"Are you going to join me?"
"There's something I gotta do first," Steve admitted, gaze unwavering from the granite headstone.
"How about you, Wilson? Stark? Could use people of your calibre," he attempted to rope in Alex and although it was tempting, she had other ideas.
"No offence, but that espionage crap really isn't my style. And I've got some loose ends to take care of," she affirmed and the look of disappointment from the former Director didn't go amiss.
"And I'm more of a soldier than a spy," Sam stated with a shrug. There was an apology buried in there somewhere.
"Alright then," Fury conceded and shook their hands, "If anyone comes asking for me, tell them you can find me, right here."
"You should be honoured. That's about as close as he gets to saying 'thank you'," Nat teased as she appeared to the right. It was refreshing to see her again after their time apart and the committee hearings they had to attend.
"Not going with him?" Steve enquired as he moved closer to the redhead.
"Not staying here?"
"Nah," she shook her head with a grin. Part of Alex wished she had the ability to be that fluid and free. The other part knew she'd loathe it and give up in a matter of weeks.
"I blew all my covers, I gotta go figure out a new one," the redhead explained before revealing a file from behind her back.
"That might take a while," the blonde stated with a concerned look.
"I'm counting on it," she admitted before handing the file over to Steve.
"I called in a few favours in Kyiv. Will you do me a favour?" Steve moved closer and Nat lowered her voice so Alex couldn't hear what was said, but the former seemed to agree to the undisclosed favour. The two of them share a hug and Nat began to walk away. She made it all three steps before she turned back to the adonis super-soldier.
"Be careful, Steve. That might not be a thread you want to pull." When Alex and Sam rejoined Steve, a glance at the file in his hand told her all she needed to know.
"You're going after him?"
"Neither of you has to come with me," the blonde admitted before he flipped it shut.
"Well, I'm in," Sam agreed, which came as no surprise to Alex. He waved to them both and said he'd see them soon. That left just Steve and Alex. Alone in front of Nick Fury's tombstone.
"You gonna be alright while I'm gone?" For a brief moment, the air between them was heavy and sullen.
"I think I'll just about manage. It's not gonna be the same without you here," she admitted quietly.
"You want me to get someone to keep an eye on you?" There was a light tone to his voice and if Alex was able to see beneath the cap and glasses, she'd spot the playful twinkle in his baby blues.
"Ha. I think I'll be fine. I've finally found an accredited therapist that's qualified to deal with... People like us. I've got my training to focus on and learning what my powers can do. I'm going to have a lot on my plate."
"Well, that's certainly reassuring. Take care of yourself, Alex," he stated with sudden seriousness. Alex turned to look at Steve and he removed his glasses.
"Only if you promise to do the same. No more jumping out of planes without parachutes, staying inside burning Helicarriers or picking fights with super assassins." In good humour, he drew an X on his chest. Alex reached out to gently punch his shoulder playfully.
"Promise not to promise." With a burst of confidence, she bounced forward and kissed Steve on the cheek. When she stepped back, his cheeks, ears and neck were burnished pink. Alex felt no embarrassment, but the idea of parting until further notice filled her with a strange kind of anxiety.
"I'll see you soon, Spangles." They parted ways and Alex began the walk back to her apartment. From her pocket, her phone began to ring. A glance at the screen told her it was Tony. She accepted the call with a smile.
"Hey, Greasemonkey, how are things?"
"Better. I'm just on my way back from running some errands," she explained with a grin that he couldn't see.
"Wonderful. What are you planning to do in DC for the foreseeable future?"
"Eh, well, I found a local gym, a qualified person to talk to, I'll probably visit once or twice a month to keep myself sane. Just think I'll lie low and keep to myself for now."
"Well, how do you feel about Miami?"
"Miami? Florida? It's mostly warm and sunny, with lots of nightclubs, boats, large Latin American demographic, right on the beach. Why?"
"Because I have an empty beach house that needs occupying until the winter when Pepper and I can stand the temperatures a little more -"
"¡Cállate!" Alex exclaimed and almost slammed on the brakes.
"No, I'm serious," he insisted. Alex couldn't believe what she was hearing and as she arrived at her apartment.
"You want me to move to Miami - to a beach house that you're not using until it cools down?" She cut the engine and climbed out, disconnecting her phone from the car.
"Exactly. I can have Happy over in a few hours to help you pack up and move if -"
"Absolutely! I'll take it. Miami's more my speed anyway." With a spring in her step, Alex headed into the building and up to her apartment.
"Awesome, Happy's in transit. Should be with you by dinner time. Let me know when you get there."
"Can't wait." The call ended and Alex couldn't help but dance around the living room of her apartment with excitement. Miami used to be a dream. Someplace she'd try and visit when she was older. Now she was getting to live there for the next seven months.
In anticipation of Happy's arrival, Alex began furiously throwing her belongings into bags and boxes, though she tried to keep some level of order to them, it was pretty much a free for all. There was something so strangely invigorating about the idea of living on the coast again that Alex got lost in the dizziness of packing up and almost didn't hear the door buzzer go off.
"It's Happy, let me in," her father's Head of Security greeted over the comms. All too eager, Alex buzzed him in and they immediately began packing everything they had into the Stark Industries truck he'd driven down.
"Subtle ride," she mused as they began handing boxes over to the two staff that were in the van.
"Not my first choice," Happy was quick to tell her as they continued carrying boxes, bags and small furnishings down to the street.
Bangtan Forest is home to monsters from the darkest stories ever told. Creatures of fantasy and mythology, and horrors indescribable. No human dares to venture into these woods who believes the tales, and those foolish enough to think they’re not real?
Well...no one’s ever returned to prove the tales wrong.
Lions and tigers and bears? Oh my, you should be so lucky here, my dear.
Kim Seokjin x Reader
Stealing The Breath From My Lungs
Min Yoongi x Reader
A Whisper On The Wind
A Ray Of Sun Through Rain
A Calling To My Soul
Park Jimin x Reader
A Song In The Blood (Posting Soon)
You’ve always been very clearly different. Now you know the Forest holds the answers you seek. Who would have guessed they would hold even more?
Jimin had been alone for a long time before he found his little family of outcasts, and everything was okay for the first time in his immortal life. Then, you ventured in from the human world beyond, heedless of the warnings and darkness, and here you are, amongst his family like you’ve always belonged. Only, something calls to him within your veins, and it’s getting harder and harder to resist as they teach you what it means to belong to the Forest.
triggering: corruption (?), verbal abuses, first time (virgin reader), protected sex AND unprotected sex (be safe kids), triggers to be added if found.
status: on going
When you move to a new city due to your father's job, you don't expect to stay for a long and so decided not to get attached to the world around you.
But still, you are "the new girl", unwillingly attracting people's attention because of your family's background. Your strict father expects a lot from you, not to say perfection. And when you are sit next to a certain Jung Yunho, you didn't expect your life to take a radical turn
Taglist: @palegardenrebel @mirror-juliet @twancingyunhoe ; don't hesitate to ask for being tagged :)
Summary: The reader and Jensen have a very fun night in downtown Austin but things start to take a turn when Jensen gets anxious and the reader calls in an old friend for help. A week later the whole family heads up North and the reader gets to meet her future family for the first time but she gets the notion she’s not exactly as welcomed as some of them say...
Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader
Square: Coitus Interruptus
Word Count: 7,700ish
Warnings: Mature (language, minor frightening situation, semi-public smut, implied past assault, anxiety attack, family angst, family fluff)
A/N: This part is a rollercoaster, trust me! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!
A/N: Also written for @spnkinkbingo
“Jensen?” you said from the shower a few hours later. He hummed from the vanity where he was fixing his hair. “Are we going to a dress up kind of place for dinner?”
“A dress would probably be in order but something casual, like a summer one or something,” he said. “Like your white one with the little yellow flowers on it.”
“I bought that like three days ago,” you laughed. “You’ve never even seen me in it.”
“You gonna let me see you in it tonight?” he asked.
“Maybe,” you teased.
“I’ll leave it out on the bed,” he said. “Oh and a little something else I’d like if you put on too.”
“Did you buy me underwear?” you laughed.
“You’re gonna have to wait and see, sweetheart,” he said. “Just do what the note on the bed says, alright?”
“Alright, alright. I’ll play your game,” you said. You heard him leave and finished washing up, ducking out of the shower and working on your hair. It dried quickly thankfully and you threw it up into a loose pony tail, a few loose strands framing your face. You put on chapstick and thought about doing your makeup but decided against it. It wasn’t a fancy place you were going from the sounds of it and it was warm out which meant sweat which meant your face was going to melt off anyways.
In the bedroom you found your dress on the bed along with a strip of fabric and a folded piece of paper.
Get dressed and then put this on. I’ll be back soon.
“Well what are you up to Ackles,” you said. You threw on some underwear and a strapless bra, pulling on the short flowy summer dress and leaning back against the bed. You picked up the fabric and shook your head, tying it over your eyes before you laid back on the mattress. About ten minutes later the door opened and you sat up, Jensen chuckling.
“You look beautiful,” he said.
“What’s the big secret?” you asked.
“Oh, nothing at all. I am gonna need you to keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times mam,” he said before he was scooping you up. You threw your arms around him and he walked you out of the room, carrying you over to a quiet loft corner of the upstairs. “Stay put. I’ll be right back.”
You relaxed back into the lounger you occasionally found him hiding away in to take a nap or do some reading. You stretched out, hearing the floor creak.
“Ready to go?” he asked, picking you up once again.
“We’re not going out are we,” you said, holding on as you felt him walk you around and a door open, the air suddenly a bit warmer with a slight breeze to it.
“Oh we’re going out,” he said, setting you down, bare feet touching wood. He undid the blindfold and stepped aside. “Ta da. Your very own private rooftop dinner.”
You looked at the nice table he’d set on his balcony, string lights around you, a bottle of wine sat on a small table nearby along with a few covered trays. He smiled in his khaki shorts and light blue dress shirt, a light flush to his cheeks.
“It’s perfect Jensen,” you said. You gave him a hug and kiss, Jensen showing you over to your seat, sliding it in for you. “You did all this in an hour?”
“Well I started planning it a few hours ago. I ordered the food while I set this up and you take very long showers thankfully,” he chuckled. You looked around as he uncorked the wine, Jensen pouring a few glasses for the two of you. “Too much?”
“No. It’s sweet and romantic but not over the top and…” you trailed off as he set the bottle down. “I just really, really, love you.”
“Me too,” he said, kissing your cheek. “Let’s eat while it’s hot. I have other things in store for this evening after all.”
“Y/N,” giggled Jensen two hours later. “Y/N, you’re gonna get us in trouble.”
“Making out in the backseat was your idea I recall,” you said, nipping at his kiss swollen lips.
“I meant more the you jerking me off thing,” he said as he panted up at you. You cocked your head and grinned. “Oh you are so dirty and I am here for it.”
“Please tell me you have a condom somewhere in this car. I’ve never had sex in a car before you know and I really want to tonight. Like really, really, want to,” you said, biting lightly at his neck.
“Glovebox,” he said. You crawled over to the front seat and dug around, finding a few in there.
“Mr. Ackles,” you grinned over the back of the seat, holding one up. “You are not the sweet boy next door you pretend to be, are you?”
“You’re one to talk,” he laughed, shoving his shorts down and rolling a condom on. You climbed back over the bench and straddled him, Jensen moaning softly as you sunk down. You rolled your hips slowly, Jensen thrusting up. “Fuck. We need to have car sex more often.”
“Yes we-” you said before you both heard the very distinctive bleep from a cop car. Your eyes went wide and you scrambled to get off of him, Jensen yanking his shorts up. You saw an officer walking up and you threw your legs over his lap while he fixed his shorts. A knock came at the window and you rolled it down, an officer giving you a hard face.
“Anything we can help you with officer?” asked Jensen. The officer narrowed his eyes and you quickly recognized them when he shook his head.
“Jensen, Jensen, Jensen,” he said, Jensen sighing in relief. “Got a report of two people making out in an Impala. I figured some kids must have stolen my good friend’s car since Jared’s is sitting at home. I did not think you of all people-”
“Shut up,” groaned Jensen.
“Are we in trouble?” you asked. He shook his head and you smiled.
“If you want to make out or do whatever that condom wrapper is on the floor there for, just do me a favor and drive out of town a few more miles. They don’t give a shit about that sort of thing ten minutes over.”
“Duly noted. Can we get back to our business?” asked Jensen. His friend pursed his lips and Jensen pouted. “Remember that time I pretended you were sleeping over so you could go have a sleepover with-”
“Dude. I’m fucking with ya. Have fun. I’ll keep an eye out for a few minutes but then you’re on your own,” he said. “Later Jenny, Y/N.”
“Dick,” said Jensen, smiling as you rolled up the windows. “Where were we?”
“I don’t know. Jenny,” you said, grinning before he pulled you down, your back hitting the seat.
“Oh now you’re asking for it,” he teased, undoing his shorts.
“I’m shaking in my boots at big bad Jenny,” you said, Jensen shoving his shorts down. “So scary.”
“Call me Jenny one more time,” he said, pushing up the bottom of your dress. “I dare ya.”
“Jenny,” you said with a smirk. He leaned down and pushed your underwear aside.
“Gonna regret that,” he growled in your ear. He slid inside of you in one smooth motion, bottoming out and pulling out fast. He slammed in hard and you flew your hand against the door, holding onto his shoulder.
“Fuck,” you breathed out as he pounded into you. He’d never been so rough before and you were all for it. “You can do better than that Jenny. I know you can.”
“You asked for it,” he said, snapping his hips. You squeezed your walls around him, Jensen working on giving you a hickey.
“Is that all you got?” you said, wrapping your legs around him. He growled against your skin and grabbed your wrists, pinning them together against the door.
He thrust hard and you strained against him, legs letting go. You shut your eyes and felt him slow down before stopping completely.
“Honey?” he asked. You forced your eyes open, Jensen’s hands on your face. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt something?”
“Bad memory,” you said. He went to sit back and you shook your head. “No. I was having fun until you pinned me like that. Please keep going?”
“Alright,” he said softly. “I won’t-“
“No. Do it.”
“Y/N no,” he said. You grabbed his hand and placed it over your wrists. “Y/N.”
“I trust you. I want good memories and I want to have rough sex and if you scare me I’ll say so. I promise,” you said. He nodded and leaned forward again. He pinned your wrists over your head once more and picked up the pace, quickly falling back into a harsh rhythm. “Come on Jenny. Give it to me.”
He growled and thrust hard into you at a breakneck pace, your legs wrapped around his torso once more.
“I said-“ you got out before a low deep pressure in your core exploded. You gasped and keened your head back, Jensen grunting straight into your ear before he finally stopped, breathing hard. You stared up and took short breaths, Jensen’s hands wrapping around your back and pulling you up into a kiss.
“I love you so much,” he murmured.
“I love you,” you said, resting your head on his shoulder. “Thank you. That was intense but good intense. I felt safe with you.”
“No one’s gonna hurt you ever again,” he said. You gave him a hug he returned, Jensen holding you close. “Was that okay?”
“It was great. I’d love to see this side of you again sometime,” you said, kissing his cheek. “I’m sorry for teasing you though.”
“The Jenny thing? Nah, just a nickname from school. It don’t bother me. Just there’s this rule see only certain people can call me that or else things aren’t gonna end well for them,” he said.
“Am I one of these people?”
“Oh hell no. Not unless you want more of what you just got.”
“I’ll have to remember that,” you said. You felt him grow soft and start slipping out of you, Jensen helping you off of him. He removed the condom with mostly no mess and you stretched out.
“Do you wanna go for a walk? Downtown?” he asked. You nodded and he climbed in the front seat, driving the car away from the park and on a side street that was busier. You ducked out of the backseat, rubbing your arms in the cooler night air.
Jensen walked around with his hoodie in his hands, handing it to you. You pulled it over your head and smiled, Jensen taking your hand, tossing the condom in a trash can you went past.
“You know, you make me feel like I’m some kid in love for the first time,” said Jensen. “But we both know that’s not true but for some reason, I haven’t felt much like a 43 year old lately.”
“My brain is stuck on like age twenty,” you said.
“Same,” he chuckled. “Your head always stays young somehow.”
“So what do you mean by that not feeling age comment then?”
“I feel like some teenage kid that just wants to run off with you on a whim but I can’t exactly do that.”
“Yeah you can. We’re doing it right now,” you said.
“That’s not what I meant,” he said.
“I know. But the kids are always a positive to me. Sure we can’t run off for a week at the drop of a hat but most people can’t either. I know what I signed up for. I have to share you and be second fiddle sometimes and I’m okay with that.”
“Why though?” he asked. “Don’t you want to be selfish sometimes, just have it be us?”
“Sure but I don’t need whole days. Waking up with you, falling asleep, quiet cups of coffee or impromptu lazy days and dates, a moment here and there is good enough. I don’t need you to tell me you love me all day everyday. I already know so the moments, those are more than good.”
“People aren’t really like that,” he said quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Not when they’re starting out in a relationship anyways.”
“Well I’ve only ever been in two serious relationships. One lasted a decade and went nowhere. The other one, maybe we don’t get everything two kids who are figuring it out for the first time do. But we get a lot of shit they don’t either. I don’t get bullshit. I don’t get games. It’s real and the fact you’re a father and have responsibilities and obligations that come before me doesn’t bother me. I love you and you make me a better person, a happier person. But I just don’t get the logic that I should want more when you can’t give it and I can’t take it.”
“Do you wish we could start from scratch though?” he asked. “Hypothetically.”
“Start from scratch when? You would have been thirty one when I was eighteen and I sure as hell wasn’t mature enough for an older guy back then. You wouldn’t be you and I wouldn’t be me, not these versions at least.”
“You don’t have it in you to be selfish and just say you wish things were different,” he said. You stopped at a corner and shook your head.
“Yeah, Jensen. If I had things my way, you would have zero idea I existed. You’d be with Dee on this date right now and not me,” you said. He crossed his arms and grabbed yours, turning you down the block again as you walked. “Jensen…we were having a nice night. I don’t want to fight.”
He stopped and walked your back against a brick wall, planting a fast kiss on you.
“Stop saying shit like that,” he breathed out when he pulled back.
“Shit like what?”
“Shit like you’re less important to me. What, cause I knew her longer I’m supposed to love her more? Cause we have kids she’s always more important and you’re the rebound? I hate when you say shit like that.”
“I’m sorry,” you said quietly, Jensen planting his hands on either side of you.
“I don’t know how to make you not think that. Because I know how I feel and it has ripped me apart thinking how wrong it was for me to care about you like I do. To love you as much as I do. Because it’s not less. It’s not more. It’s just different but the same and I need you to tell me how to make you believe me. Just tell me and I’ll do it.”
“You’re crying,” you said, wiping off his face. He straightened up and sighed, letting you wipe him off with the sleeves of his hoodie. You grabbed his hand and pulled him around the corner to the entrance of an alley, Jensen glancing down it.
“It’s not safe,” he said before you put a hand over his mouth.
“I did not say that to upset you and I don’t think what I said came out right. I know I’m not a rebound. All I was trying to say is if I could have stopped you from hurting so badly, stop the kids, stop everyone, from going through that pain, I would have. I’d let you go for that.”
“You don’t know how fucked up I was before you,” he said. He glanced at the street and sighed. “Y/N I act. I’m damn good at it. I can play the bad guy, the fucking cocky bastard, the hero. I can play any character that gets thrown at me. I can pretend to my friends and my family that six months after she was gone I was better. So I fucking pretended and pretended and every single moment was focused on those three kids and nothing else. Nothing mattered to me. I didn’t matter to me. But I needed to work again and I needed help and you walked through the front door and it fell apart. You’re one of the best things to ever happen to me.”
“Jensen…” you said, pulling him into a hug. You saw a sketchy guy cut through the alley, rushing over. “Fuck off! We’re having a fucking moment!”
The guy froze and stared at you, heading back the other direction.
“Did you just scream at a mugger?” asked Jensen, staring back into the alley as you tugged him back out into the light.
“Maybe. I don’t know. I...have you ever been to a therapist? Honestly?” you asked.
“No. I lied about that,” he said as he looked down. “I told my family that and they bought it.”
“Come on,” you said, taking his hand and turning around. “I want to take you somewhere.”
“Where?” he asked.
“Somewhere you can talk,” you said. “I promise.”
One Hour Later
“Y/N,” said Dr. Moseley. You scrambled from hanging your feet over the back of the couch and righted yourself, Jensen chuckling as he stepped out from the office into the lobby area. “Been doing that since she was a kid. Some habits die hard.”
“I think that’s just how she enjoys watching TV,” said Jensen while you hit the button on the remote. You stood up and Jensen looked a whole lot red eyed but lighter too. “I feel better. A lot better.”
“Y/N, your turn,” said Dr. Moseley and you stared. “You gonna call my office and ask for an emergency session for your fiance I’m not letting you slip out of here without a quick tag up.”
“Ugh,” you groaned. “I’m hungry.”
“Ten minutes tops,” said Dr. Moseley to Jensen. You padded into the familiar office, the door closing behind you. “So. How have things been?”
“I don’t know. Is my fiance alright?” you asked.
“Yeah. I don’t even peg him as a repeat customer. He does need to work on bottling things up though. I know you have some good tips for that,” he said as you nodded. “You look good. Things are more stable it sounds like.”
“Yeah. I dumped the loser. Sold a children’s book,” you said.
“Ah you loved drawing I remember. That’s all we did our first session together,” he said.
“You didn’t tell him, did you.”
“You didn’t tell him either,” he said. “I thought I’d never hear from you again.”
“You did say if I was ever in trouble,” you said, looking back at the door. “He’s okay?”
“Yeah. He’s getting close to the year anniversary of the death. It can be triggering to some. But I think with you he’ll be just fine,” he said.
“Thanks Ray,” you said, spotting the picture on the shelf behind him. “Shit, Georgie got big.”
“Well you haven’t seen him in nine years and he was ten last time you saw him,” he chuckled, pulling out his phone and showing you a few pictures. “Taylor had her twentieth birthday last week.”
“My soon to be step daughter’s is next week,” you said with a smile.
“Shit you all grew up fast. That’s what I get for adopting,” he chuckled to himself, taking a seat on the couch beside you. “Thanks for calling tonight.”
“I knew you’d help him,” you said.
“Sounds like he helps you too,” he said.
“He’s alright,” you said with a shrug.
“He’s a little old for you.”
“Mom was a little old for you,” you said, Ray smiling. “How’s Sarah?”
“Good. She asks about you every so often,” he said. “Asks if we made up yet.”
“We never fought,” you said. You looked down, Ray tucking a hair behind your ear.
“You stopped smiling when your mom got her diagnosis,” he said. “No matter what I did, I couldn’t get a smile back on that face.”
“Ray it wasn’t you,” you said.
“The way you lit up when you saw him walk out of this room...I don’t know how you got that spark back but I’m glad you found it,” he said.
“He has a lot to do with that,” you said. “The kids do.”
“I wasn’t in a great place myself when I met you,” he said. “God I did not realize-”
“When that snarky eight year old walked in you’d end up with her mom?” you asked.
“It was highly inappropriate,” he said.
“So is ending up with the dad you were nannying for,” you said.
“Mom would like him. He’s kind. Got a lot of love in there,” he said. “He said that thing she used to say to me.”
“I may have told him about the you can have more than one person thing.”
“She’d like him,” he said.
“Yeah. I’d prefer you not end up with you know, a celebrity. But if you’re gonna be with one, be with that one. He stays out of trouble,” he said.
“Uh, how would you know that?” you asked.
“Sarah’s something of a...fan of his old show. When she saw you in the background of his instagram photo, I did a little digging.”
“I care about you. Sue me,” he said. You turned and looked out the dark window. “It was good seeing you again.”
“You know you didn’t do anything wrong right?” you said.
“I know. You had to go and find your own way. I understand it. It doesn’t mean you can’t ever come back,” he said. “If you want that is.”
“Ray I’m not looking for a father,” you said.
“You don’t have to look at all,” he said.
“If you wanted in my life so badly you could have adopted me. You could have married mom. But you didn’t and less than two years later-”
“Your mother did not want to marry again and I didn’t adopt you to because you didn’t want me to.”
“Of course I wanted you to. You don’t need a fucking PhD to figure that one out.”
“No you didn’t. You told me yourself.”
“I was a pissed off, upset, hormonal teenager, Ray. I wanted the exact opposite of that. I wanted to know you loved me just as much as you did her and maybe you did but it left a mark and I left. You moved on and I moved on. Let’s be happy and forget about the rest, alright?”
“Alright,” he said as you stood. “If you ever-”
“I know. I can call you,” you said. He nodded and you went to the door, leaning your head back. “Maybe you guys can come over for swimming or something sometime.”
“You just said you moved on.”
“I moved on from being pissed off at you a long time ago. I have lived with a man that lost the love of his life for six months. Losing mom fucked you up just as bad and I was too young to understand that back then. But maybe we can do dinners every once in a while again, you know?”
“I’d like that,” he said.
“I’ll call sometime when things are a little slower for us.”
“Okay,” he said with a smile He got up and you paused, getting a hug from him. “He’ll be alright, needed to let it out, hear you’re not going anywhere is all.”
“Were you ever afraid of losing Sarah?” you asked. “You’ve been in his position before is why I ask.”
“People are different but yeah, when someone gets inside like that after you’ve suffered losing that before, it’s frightening. It can be debilitating. It can ruin things.”
“But you and Sarah got married and are still together.”
“Be gentle with him when he’s afraid. Comfort him but don’t coddle him. His fears will become manageable and quiet. He has fallen unconditionally in love with you knowing how much pain happens when it gets taken away. Part of him says run away and save yourself from it happening again. Part of him says she’s worth every second of that pain. It’s how I was. Just treat him normally and he’ll learn to live with it.”
“It doesn’t go away?”
“Has he ever been late coming home? Fender bender?”
“He got bit by a scorpion recently,” you said.
“Did you freak out?”
“On the inside,” you said as he smiled. “So that’s the cost.”
“The good times are worth the bad ones,” he said. “Go take him around the corner to Mort’s. They’re open until midnight in the summer.”
“Do they still do the peach cobbler sundae?” you asked.
“Oh yeah,” he said.
“Do you want to…” you trailed off.
“It’s late but I appreciate the offer. Another time for sure though. I have a soccer game to get ready for in the morning,” he said with a sigh. “I am so not coaching next year. I should have quit when Taylor graduated.”
“Yeah you will,” you said. “You were even my coach back in the day.”
“I still can’t kick the ball yet for some reason they want me to be head coach,” he chuckled as he opened the door. Jensen had his nose in the bookshelf, turning around with a curious look. “Y/N’s going to take you out for ice cream. Doctor’s orders.”
“Is this...Y/N?” asked Jensen, pointing at a photograph. Ray walked over and smiled as he picked it up.
“She was about ten years old in that picture,” he said, showing it to you.
“I remember that day. You puked on the ferris wheel,” you said.
“I don’t do rides well,” he said, putting it back.
“Wait I thought you were her therapist for all the crap that happened as a kid,” said Jensen, glancing at you.
“I was. Y/N’s mother felt after the adoption it’d be good for her, for them both, to have Y/N see someone,” said Ray.
“Oh. That’s nice you do like a fun day for your patients,” said Jensen. You rolled your eyes as Ray chuckled.
“Jensen. This is Dr. Moseley. Dr. Ray Moseley. My mom’s old boyfriend,” you said. Jensen looked at Ray and smiled.
“It’s nice to meet you,” said Jensen. “I’ve heard good things.”
“Well that’s always good,” said Ray. “I’ll see you two around sometime.”
“We would like that,” you said, taking Jensen’s hand. “Let’s let Ray head home. He’s got an early morning.”
“It was nice meeting you Jensen. Call anytime you need to, day or night,” said Ray.
“Thanks,” said Jensen. A few minutes later you were back on the street and walking down the block, Ray driving off in his car. “So the therapist you know from when you were a kid is Ray?”
“Yeah. It’s how they met. My mom wanted me to deal with the stuff my dad did. Ray helped me process and be a pretty normal kid again. He and mom hit it off. He was done for the first day they met he said. They got together after I finished up my sessions. When you started talking like that earlier and said you never spoke to anyone, I knew Ray could help.”
“Thanks,” he said quietly, letting you lead him towards an ice cream shop. You sent him over to a table out front while you ordered, returning after a moment with a sundae in a dish and two spoons. “I’m sorry, for lying about seeing a therapist.”
“Why did you?” you asked, taking a seat and handing him a spoon.
“It’s what I told everyone. People don’t worry so much,” he said with a shrug. “I...I’m normally the one that other people can come to for help. I’m not so good at asking for it. I got tired of everyone constantly asking me are you okay? Let me do this for you. Let me do that. I got it, you go rest. I wanted everyone to leave me alone and treat me normally again. Lying took care of that mostly.”
“Please don’t lie to me ever again,” you said. He nodded and you cocked your head. “You don’t have to talk to me but if you feel like you’re bottling stuff up to that extreme again, talk to someone. Please.”
“I will. I’m sorry for acting how I did earlier. All you were trying to say was you’d stop me from being hurt if you could and I twisted it.”
“Sounds like you untwisted it.”
“Ray was good to talk to. An objective third party telling you stuff puts it in perspective.” He picked at the sundae and smiled when he took a bite, going back for a bigger piece. “What’d you two talk about in there?”
“You. Me,” you said, getting a scoop of whip cream. “I told him maybe they could come over for a swim and dinner sometime.”
“He still loves you you know.”
“Yeah,” you said with a nod. “When things calm down, maybe…”
“Do you still love him?” You nodded and scraped away at piece of ice cream that was threatening to fall off the edge of the dish. “Do you think he’ll hurt you?”
“He had the opportunity after my mom died to adopt me. But he didn’t. It hurt that he didn’t. I got it in my head that he only cared about me for her and it wasn’t right but it’s what I felt back then.”
“How do you feel now?”
“I understand he was in pain and I was a brat that took all of mine out on him. I wish he had fought me harder on staying in a way. Let me know he did care.”
“Y/N honey,” said Jensen, leaning forward in his seat. “He has a picture of you in his office. I think you asked for your space and he let you have it. I think that was his attempt at saying he cared back then.”
“Which is why maybe...he can come back into my life,” you said.
“Whatever you decide, I’ll support it,” he said. “It’s not a simple decision.”
“No, I know he never stopped caring but he was the adult and I was the kid back then. I needed him to say stay.”
“Well, I know somebody who wants you to stay. Actually he’s not letting you go ever,” he said.
“Oh really?” you said, Jensen smirking. “Never ever?”
“Nope. You’re stuck with him for eternity. Sorry in advance for any future freak out sessions,” he chuckled.
“You were scared and a guy like you, I know you hate being scared. Freak out everyday and it still wouldn’t bother me,” you said.
“You’re similar though.”
“True but it works. I take care of you, you take care of me, we eat ice cream and make out in the back of your car and it sounds pretty good to me.”
“I like the way you think.”
Ten minutes later you were walking through downtown, Jensen’s hand holding yours loosely. You walked past a young couple, one of them carrying a sleeping toddler.
“You’d make a really cute baby,” he said. You looked over at him and smiled. “Not you you. I mean-”
“I know what you meant. How do you know if you’re ready?” you asked.
“You don’t. Not really. You can prep but you’re never really ready. I always thought you know, when you’re stable, mature enough, when you want it, then you’re ready.”
“I don’t think I’m ready to take care of an infant.”
“Haven’t you been a nanny to babies before though?”
“Yeah. But...the trying to raise a good person thing. A happy, good, kind person. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
“Says the woman who knows when a little boy is crying because of a tantrum and when he’s crying because something is wrong.”
“You’ve been doing it for months. I trust you with them completely, to make any kind of decision for them. They’re your kids too now.” You slowed your pace and he matched it, squeezing your hand. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Hearing you say that is nice is all.”
“Believe me. I don’t think anyone in the world could possibly love you more than I do but if anyone does, it’s those three kids,” he said. “They ask about Dee more again and it’s all smiles. They ask about you a whole lot. For some reason they’re convinced we went to school together and that’s where we met.”
“I’m gonna check that under you look good and not I look old,” you laughed.
“No, no you don’t. You’re the one getting carded still, not me,” he said.
“Remember that waitress that kept flirting with you at that restaurant in Toronto? That was fucking hilarious.”
“You thought it was hilarious. I was dying showing her my drivers license and showing her the math of how you physically could not be my daughter.”
“Boys hit puberty at thirteen though,” you said, Jensen shaking his head. “Oh come on. Don’t tell me a guy like you hit it in highschool.”
“I was about five four my first year. You so could have kicked my little shrimpy ass. It was super awesome when all your buddies are like, growing a foot in a month and getting muscle and starting to shave and I’m like, the hobbit.”
You laughed and he bumped your shoulder.
“I really wanted to play football in school but I was always way too small. It’s why I wound up in baseball. Plus I think my mom liked it cause it was safer.”
“Eh, but some of those guys peak in high school. You haven’t hit yours yet.”
“You talking looks or like life?”
“Both. I mean when the new season of The Boys comes out you’re gonna get exposed to a huge audience. You’re gonna get to act in like, oscar movie shit and stuff,” you said. He shrugged and you bumped him back. “You’re gonna do amazing.”
“I don’t care about being in that kind of movie really though. I want to do fun things, things that interest me. I’m very happy if my biggest role is Dean Winchester.”
“Well, Dean gave you the opportunity to play Soldier Boy and he’s gonna give you more choices. Dean’s probably what you’ll be known for but you have some more power now cause of that. Maybe even more power with Dean someday. Just do stuff that you want to from now. As long as it makes you happy at the end of the day, I’m all for it.”
“I’m gonna promise you right here and now I won’t ever be away for months on end. I was gone so much before. I like being home. I’m not going away for nine months of the year ever again.”
“It’ll work,” you said. “I bet you could get your own little show in town like Jared if you wanted.”
“I will take the role of dad and future husband for now,” he said.
“That’s a good role when you think about it.”
“Very good,” he said, leaning over to kiss your cheek. “What time is it?”
“About ten thirty,” you said. “Getting tired?”
“Band’s playing at a bar downtown, that one we heard that night you said I was your best friend.”
“Of course that is what you remember from that night,” you said, leaning against him. “They’re really in Austin?”
“Yup. You wanna go?”
“I’d love to.”
One Week Later
“Are we there yet?” groaned JJ from the backseat as Jensen drove through a suburb.
“We will be there in ten seconds,” he said, turning down another street before pulling into a driveway. “Go on and harass your grandparents.”
She unbuckled herself in the backseat and opened the door, dashing off and up to the house.
“What about you two? Ready to see grandma and grandpa?”
“I need to go to the bathroom,” said Arrow, kicking in her car seat. Jensen shook his head as you climbed out, undoing Zeppelin and watching him run across the grass up to the front door that was now open.
“Let Arrow go first buddy!” said Jensen as Arrow ran around the car and into the house. “The kid hasn’t had a drink all morning yet she pisses like a race horse I swear.”
“She did knock back about three juice boxes on the way here,” you laughed.
“Gotta cut that kid off at two,” he chuckled, going to the back of the truck. He pulled out his suitcase and the kids while you grabbed your own and the bag with JJ’s birthday presents. “It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Probably a year.”
“You okay?” you asked.
“Yeah. I’m good,” he said. You followed him up to the house, setting the presents bag down by the door, carrying the suitcases upstairs. “You can put the kids stuff in here. This was my sister’s room.”
“It’s huge,” you said, spotting the bunks up against the wall. “That’s really nice with the full size beds.”
“My parents re did it once there were grandkids and stuff for the holidays. We can stay in my old room,” he said, showing you across the hall. It was smaller and a bit plain but you did notice the cowboy blanket on the bed. He quickly grabbed it and bundled it up, opening a closet door and shoving it inside.
“Yours?” you asked, reaching out for it. He nodded and hesitated a moment before letting you have it. “Is this from when you were little?”
“Yeah,” he said as you saw how the color had faded away in some spots.
“Do you like to leave it here? We could bring it home if you want,” you said.
“And…” you said, folding it and handing it back to him.
“I wouldn’t exactly say this goes with the master bedroom decor, would you?”
“Alright,” you said. “Seems special is all.”
He left it out on the bed as you looked out a window to the backyard, a few people out there along with the kids.
“Those your parents?” you asked.
“Yeah. That’s my-” he said before he let out a whoof. You turned and saw him tackled on the bed by a man and woman, both of them chuckling. “Guys, come on.”
“Relax, we’re just having fun, Jens,” said the man as he straightened up and Jensen sat up. “Hi. You must be the girlfriend.”
“Yeah. I’m Y/N,” you said, holding out a hand. You were surprised when the man and woman looked at each other and then gave you a hug. You returned it briefly, both of them chuckling while Jensen groaned on bed.
“We know all about you. Josh. Mack. Obviously you know doofus over there,” said Josh.
“Guys,” groaned Jensen.
“Calm yourself,” said his sister. “We’re saying hi to our future sister in law is all.”
“I hate this,” said Jensen, laying back and throwing a pillow over his face.
“He’s never been good with the whole introducing his girl to the family thing. Ain’t that right, Jenny?” asked Josh. Jensen sighed under the pillow and he rolled his eyes. “Well, you can lay there. We’re stealing her.”
“What?” said Jensen as Mackenzie pushed you out of the room. Josh whistled as he ducked out and pulled the door shut, holding it in place.
“Josh let me out!” said Jensen. “It wasn’t funny when I was five and it’s not funny now!”
“Believe me, it’s always been funny,” said Mackenzie to you, nodding at Josh as he pulled a headband around the handle and then over to a curtain rod at the window next to the wall.
“Joshua! I’ll call mom!” said Jensen through the door.
“We need five minutes alone with Y/N. I’ll let you out when we’re done,” said Josh. He stepped into the room next door, Mackenzie pushing you inside.
“Uh, what is this?” you asked, taking a seat on the bed. They looked at one another and shut the door. You swallowed but saw them both smile.
“Thank you,” she said, Josh nodding. “Jensen’s had a hard year and last time we saw him at Christmas-”
“He wasn’t doing so hot. He can act his ass off but he can’t pretend to us,” said Josh.
“He sounds...he’s always so excited to talk about you on the phone, even if we don’t know that many details. He’s always been a little vague but we know you’re the reason he’s doing so well.”
“So don’t worry about the nanny stuff or being the new fiance or whatever you’re worried about. We don’t get to see our brother that much but we like hearing him like his old self again,” said Josh.
“You guys really don’t have a problem with me?” you asked. “Like seriously?”
“You’re not like, crazy right?” asked Mackenzie. You shook your head. “So then seriously we don’t have a problem with you.”
“Thanks,” you said quietly. You tucked your hair behind your ear and took a deep breath. “I know I’m...not her. And I’m younger and I was the nanny and it’s really easy to assume things about me...I don’t want anything to come between him and his family and especially not have that be me. I know all of you took care of him and I want him to feel comfortable again, not get stressed out at seeing you guys.”
“He didn’t want to see us?” asked Mackenzie.
“He does. It’s a feeling I get from him is all. He loves me and I know he wants…me getting along with you guys is important to him,” you said.
“You can be part of this family too,” said Josh. “Really. We know it’ll never go back to how it was but we can have something just as good.”
“We do have one question though,” said Mackenzie. You smiled and nodded as she sat next to you. “Why do you like him? We think he’s horrendous but we get that people find him attractive.”
“He’s handsome but he makes me the happiest I think I’ve ever been in my life. Mine’s kind of been a cluster and he’s a good best friend to have. I just like him I suppose,” you said.
“Do you prank him?” she asked.
“Oh yeah,” you laughed, the two of them smirking.
“Yeah you’re cool with us,” said his brother. “Come on, let’s let the dork out before he calls mom on us.”
He stepped outside and Jensen huffed when Josh let him out.
“What did-” he said before you stepped over to Jensen. “Did they-”
“We had a little talk is all. They love you and so do I so there’s absolutely nothing to worry about besides the fact you can’t escape your childhood bedroom. We may need to consider getting a dog if that keeps up,” you said.
“Well...good,” said Jensen, crossing his arms. “And I’ll have you know, that headband has elastic in it.”
“The arms are for show,” whispered Mackenzie.
“You’re due for a noogie,” said Jensen, skirting past you and chasing her down the hall.
“You got any siblings?” asked Josh to you as Jensen tackled his sister into a bedroom. You shook your head and he smiled. “Well, this is about how it goes around here.”
“How often does she win? Having two older brothers and all.”
“More often than you’d think. Our brother in law is at work still but he’s always a wild card on if he’ll help us torture or not.”
“Ah so you’re all grown children, not just Jensen.”
“Pretty much,” he said, Jensen laying back in the hall. “Ready to go see mom and dad?”
“Not really,” mumbled Jensen.
“Time to face the music,” said Josh, pushing you down the hall and stepping over Jensen. He popped up to his feet and you headed downstairs.
“Hold up,” said Jensen.
“Tell him to calm down,” said Josh in your ear. You nodded and his siblings headed outside as an older woman came in.
“Hey mom,” said Jensen, getting a large hug from her when she spotted you both in the kitchen.
“You look so good! You got some weight back,” she said, Jensen sighing. “You were too skinny and you know it. You eating enough again?”
“Yes ma,” he said, shaking his head. He reached out a hand and you let him take it, his mother giving you a friendly enough smile. “This is Y/N, my fiance.”
“Fiance?” she said, looking you up and down. Something about it felt off though and you forced a happy look on your face. “The kids didn’t mention that.”
“It’s a recent development,” said Jensen as he squeezed your hand. “I know it seems a little fast probably but we’ve been together nearly six months.”
“Oh. So you got together not long after the holidays,” she said, a smile on her face but you both saw through it.
“Yeah,” said Jensen, his father coming in the back door with a water bottle. “Dad this is Y/N.”
“They’re engaged, Alan,” she said. “Isn’t that nice?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Donna you mind coming with me to pick up the food order?”
“We can get it,” you said, both of them staring at you. “We know it’s been awhile since you’ve seen the kids.”
“We’ll get it,” he said, voice not necessarily harsh but there was a firmness there you weren’t expecting. They skirted past the two of you and out the front door, Jensen watching it close.
“Why don’t you introduce me to the rest of the family?” you said.
Summary: You are an old friend of Kaz Brekker and pay him a visit after seven months. You're also a legend in the Barrel.
Warnings: Threat through a dagger.
People either feared or adored her. There was barely any in between. She was the closest thing to a god the Barrel had.
She could kill, she could save and nobody wanted to be on her bad side.
Nobody but Kaz.
But he would never be on Y/n's bad side.
They were close since they arrived in the barrel. Both victims of the plague, both orphaned and all alone. They suddenly only had each other. So while Kaz worked his way up through the Dregs, Y/n took every job she could get. Everything, but never one that required her to stay. She would never again give up the freedom to go wherever she wanted to. Not after the plague freed her from her parents.
Kaz and Y/n were a team, wether they would ever admit it or not.
She would sneek into his attic in the night, when everyone, even Inej, was out. Nobody knew that Dirtyhands associated with the Goddess. They'd talk and laugh and Kaz would let down his mask for a few hours. For a brief moment they were just kids. But Kaz Brekker wasn't a kid.
Kaz Brekker was the Bastard of the Barrel, Kaz Brekker was Dirtyhands, most respected member of the Dregs, feared in the entire Barrel. Y/n wasn't a kid either, Y/n was a shadow, never seen and never heard, yet everyone knew her name. Some claimed her to be a god. She wasn't. Neither a god, nor a saint. Just a Heartrender with a talent for daggers and a big knowledge about venom.
But she liked the title she held.
It kept her save and her work going. Barrel Bosses liked to pay for pretty girls that were feared.
Here's the thing. It's been seven months since she has last seen Kaz. She had a job, something that took a bit longer but was payed well.
It wasn't something very dangerous, she just had to bring a bankers kid out of Ketterdam.
She hasn't told Kaz that she took the job. She never did. But she also never had a job before, that took more than a month.
So she did what she was used to.
She sneaked into his attic late at night. It was dark and smelled like parchment and wood oil.
Kaz wasn't there, but Y/n stayed anyways.
She was still in her work clothes, mask up.
But it was boring and Kaz was nowhere to be seen. The shelves caught her attention. Y/n took out the recent books to check the numbers of the Crow Club. They added up nicely, she noticed. Business was going well. Good for Kaz.
She sighed and placed it back where she took it from. Then she walked over to the writing desk. It was messy, there was a cup of coffee and the papers were scattered all over the place. So she did what she was good at. Sorting things out. Doing the work Kaz had left unmoved.
When she finished the papers from the Crow Club, Y/n walked over to the shelve again to put them where they belonged.
Out of nowhere, someone pressed her against the wall, dagger at her throat.
The person was smaller than her, clearly female. Must be Inej.
Y/n held up her arms in defence, chuckling softly. Right at the door stood Kaz, crow cane in his hand, wearing hat and coat and, of course, a suit. Handsome as always. Next to him stood a certain sharpshooter Y/n had seen every now and then. Jesper.
"Who are you and what are you looking for?" Inej asked, moving the dagger closer to Y/n.
She looked over to Kaz again, right into his eyes. That Bastard knew it was her and didn't say a word. "I'm an old friend." She finally confessed. Inej took down her masked, looking into the soft face of a women that wasn't a day older than they were. The Suli girl looked back to Kaz, who obviously had no intention in clearing the situation, so she turned back to
Y/n. "Who are you?" She asked again, slowly.
"They tell me I'm a god." Y/n smiled sweetly.
Inej understood immediately. Only one person in the entire barrel would answer to the question with that. Inej wasn't sure if she actually existed or if it was just a rumour, but now she stood in front of her.
"Let her go, Wraith. She's on our side."
"I'm on no side, Kaz." Y/n said, finally being freed from Inej's dagger.
"Well who would've thought Kaz actually has friends we don't know about." Jesper laughed, packing away the gun he held towards her. "She's not my friend." Kaz assured. Y/n laughed.
"Hell I am. He just can't get rid of me."
"I did, for seven months." Kaz smirked slightly.
"Oh come on, Brekker. I had a job, you don't get to take the credit for my absence."
While Kaz sat down at his table, Jesper held up his hand for her to shake. "Nice to meet someone who can get Mister Hardfeelings to smirk. My name is-" She took his hand. "Jesper Fahey. I know. And you're Inej Ghafa. I'm Y/n. That's it, nothing more to me."
Inej looked at her in amazement.
"The entire Barrel talks about you. They say you're a saint." She said respectfully.
She turned to Kaz, who still smirked, and laughed loudly.
"I'm not a saint. I don't even believe in them. I don't need saints as long as I'm considered a god. You can't get more respect than that."
Y/n sat down on a small couch, making herself comfortable. "I've looked through the books. Did a bit of your paperwork. Things are going good, Brekker."
Kaz started going through the things Y/n had done. He nodded in agreement. "They are."
"So, are you gonna tell us why you're just casully chatting while we never even knew that the Barrels Goddess even existed, or are you just gonna leave this unaddressed?" Jesper asked, pointing between Kaz and Y/n.
"Get out Jesper." Kaz said, without looking up.
"No further questions asked." Jesper answered, nodding towards the door so Inej followed him.
She did, smiling towards Y/n.
Y/n smiled back. She liked the Wraith. She liked Jesper too. Kaz always trusted the right people.
After the door was closed, Kaz finally looked up again. "You enjoyed me pinned against the wall, huh?" Y/n chuckled. "No, I just had to get back at you for the timeout. You could've at least said something." He turned back to the papers. "Ah damn, don't act all worried now."
Kaz looked up again, holding eye contact to her for a moment. "So Darling, tell me what you've done the last seven months?"
Today, the final Magpie chapter went online and completed my Wings of Freedom Series.
For those who read along: I am in awe at your amount of feedback, your dedication, and your loyal support. Thank you. You are amazing.
For those who waited for the final chapter to go up: The verse is ready to binge now. No posting interruptions, no cliffhangers you have to endure for longer than a click. All there to gobble up in one go. Enjoy. <3
Wings of Freedom series
Rated E, 5 works, 758,882 words
Additional tags: Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Post-War, Tea, Pining, canon divergent from manga chapter 86, Friendship, Slow Burn, Romance, Fix-It, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, The Underground (Shingeki no Kyojin), Comradeship, Canon-Typical Violence
Recommended reading order:
Rated M, 7 chapters, 30,500 words
Also available as podfic, read beautifully by @attraversiamo19
Rated E, 29 chapters, 113,674 words
Also available in Polish, translated by Tłumaczenia Riren on Wattpad
Rated M, 7 chapters, 51,475 words
With accompanying fanart by @l-leonhardt
Rated E, 100 chapters, 561,825 words
Upon This Thermal I Soar
Rated M, one-shot, 1355 words
(not Ereri, but my two other dorks)
We finally get to meet the mysterious man that Aelin was kissing.
Also, the firehouse gets a great news
Ten days had passed. Aelin had been discharged from the hospital and allowed to move around in crutches providing she took it easy, a concept totally alien to her. She had gone back to the station as soon as she could do it.
The deadline for the performance review was fast approaching and she had spent the last few days at the station. They only got a week extension so she had offered to help but all she could do was sit and direct the show. Also, working kept her mind off… things… and as in things she meant a certain arsehole who had gone completely awol. She had texted him and never got a reply. Lately every time she tried to phone him she was told that the phone was not available. So she had stopped. He clearly was offended by what she had said. She just wished he had spoken to her, explained why her confession had terrified him so much. Just as she had finally found the resolve to try again after losing Sam, he had gone and ruined everything.
A glove hit her face “planet Earth calls Aelin.”
She refocused for a second and noticed Ansel’s red mane of hair in front of her.
“Dorian is looking for you. He is in your office and Aedion is there already.”
Aelin groaned “can they come to the couch? I am so comfy here.”
“Fine.” She dropped the documents she was revising and grabbed her crutches and pulled herself up.
At snail pace she made her way to her office and once she got there she saw Aedion standing in front of her desk while Dorian had his feet up on it and was sitting relaxed on her comfortable chair.
“I don’t care if you are the chief. First, feet off my desk, second, arse off my chair.”
Dorian moved away and let her sit down and grabbed her crutches.
“So, what is so important that I had to leave my spot on the couch?”
Dorian passed her the documents he was holding, with a grin. He was positive this was going to cheer her up.
“No fucking way. You did it.”
He smiled at her smugly “Not entirely my merit.” He confessed “As you remember, the community protested in front of the government in the aftermath of the embankment accident. They did it just before the budget review was due. The government could not ignore them and what you all did that night. And I guess that the statement from your cheerleader had helped a lot as well.”
“Someone I am not allowed to mention in your presence.”
Aelin stare darkened all of a sudden.
“We are getting a second engine, but that engine needs staff.” She pointed out, her excitement taking a hit “I was just getting to that” added Dorian quite quickly, “Thomas has offered to give you a few men to help staff the second engine. It will have a mixed crew of newbies and experienced staff for a while. Aedion and I thought it was the best way to go.”
Aelin nodded “I want to help interview the candidates. Aedion is busy with drills. I, on the other hand, I have plenty of time.”
“As if I can sideline you. You are the captain after all.” Added Dorian knowing full well that if Aelin had her mind set on a task it was almost impossible to dissuade her.
“I want a bigger female presence. I can’t believe that from all the candidates that graduate from the academy there are no good female firefighters.”
“I can spread the news at the academy and see who applies and go from there.”
“Good.” Aelin relaxed on the chair.
“We have also have been invited to a party thrown by the mayor.”
“You are joking.” Aelin hated that kind of party. She had been to a few and it had been a nightmare.
“There is no escaping it. We have all the be present and dress mess is required.”
“My leg is in a protective support, if I wear dress mess I need to wear the skirt which means heels and can you see where I am going with this?” Aelin protested.
“I guess we can do an exception for you. Wear your regular blue trousers, make sure your boots are shining and wear your uniform shirt with the tie, not the t-shirt. And don’t forget the hat.”
“I can live with that.”
“When is the dreadful event?” Asked Aedion who hated those ceremonies just as much as Aelin.
“We are on night shift, you genius.”
Dorian smiled dangerously “Not anymore. Second team is taking the night shift. Let me remind you that attendance is compulsory and pass the info to the team.”
“Yes, Chief.” And Aelin was very tempted to flip him off, but he was still her boss.
“Lys and Elide are to come as well. They are part of the team.”
“Oh so, no one is immune to this horrible shenanigans. Lovely.” Aelin sat back, still annoyed at the invitation.
“No darling, if I have to suffer, you will all go down with me.” And with that Dorian disappeared behind the door.
“Come on Aedion, let’s go and ruin the team’s day.”
Slowly the two made their way back in the common area where the squad was relaxing. Aedion had put them through a gruelling session of drills in the morning and now they needed time to unwind. No one had taken nicely the fact that the review has been postponed only by a week, but at least they hadn’t asked Aelin to attend as well with a destroyed knee. She would be there of course but on the sidelines.
“Ok, people,” Aelin shouted as she slowly made her way to her team “Brullo, switch off the tv for a minute.”
“That doesn’t sound promising,” complained Ren.
“Where are Lys and Elide?”
“In the ambulance doing inventory.” Replied Nox.
“Ok, can you please go and get them?” She asked him.
He nodded and ran away and got back a few moments later with the two ladies in tow.
“Uh oh.” Said Lysandra, sitting on Aedion’s lap.
“Now that everyone is here, I have an announcement.” She smiled wickedly and the team shivered. That was her scary smile “Our esteemed mayor has decided to throw a party this Saturday. Bad news is… we are all invited so that he can show us how he appreciates what we do for the community.”
“Fuck no,” shouted Ansel, while finishing the bowl of cereals she was eating.
“We are on night shift.” Added Brullo.
“No we are not. Dorian gave the shift to second team. We are all free.”
A chorus of very rude words erupted from the team. Yeah, everyone hated those parties.
“Oh and by the way… it has to be dress mess.”
The protests grew louder. Aelin let them vent for a moment before putting an end to it.
“Guys!” She shouted, and the room went quiet “I know none of us like those parties, but my hands are tied. Dorian made it pretty clear that this is mandatory. So, protest how you want but there is no getting out of it.”
The team went back to their protest when Aelin raised her voice again “Did I say I was done?”
The group went silent again.
“The second piece of information is hopefully a bit more welcome.” And she really hoped so “we are getting our second engine.”
The cheers that erupted from the team were of pure joy.
“How did you do it?”
“You have to thank Dorian. He is the one who pulled the trick.” And Rowan apparently. No, she was not going there.
“He really is better than his old man. We have been pleading the old bastard for ages and nothing. A few months in charge and Dorian gives us the second engine. If it wasn’t that I am I straight I’d kiss the guy.” Said Ren happily and everyone laughed.
Good, Aelin thought, they needed the good spirits.
“How will we do for crew?” Asked Ansel.
“Thomas is willing to give us some of his experienced men from one of his engines and take a few newbies. We’ll man the engine with a hybrid crew. Half experienced and half newbies. I need everyone to help with training. Aedion and I will do the main stuff but you guys are involved in this as well. I am out of commission for a while so I can only do classroom training.”
“We’ll help you, cap.” Chimed Nox happily.
Aelin turned to Ansel “I have asked to have a few more ladies in the team.”
“Thanks for that. Far too much testosterone in here.”
Aelin sat back down on the sofa, her knee started to get sore again “We are going to have other women hopefully, just don’t break their hearts.” She told Ansel.
Two of the guys sprayed what they were drinking, Aelin laughed “Oh come on, don’t tell me you had no idea Ansel was swinging on both sides.” Joked Aelin smiling at the woman.
“Both…” asked Brullo still quite shocked.
Ansel drank her coffee very calmly “Men, women, on a few occasion both at the same time.”
Aelin laughed at the expression of the guys.
“Ansel, I think you broke our boys.”
Aelin mobile went off and for a moment she hoped. But that hope had been short lived.
“Give me two minutes,” she said at the person at the phone. She stood and very slowly she made her way back to her office.
Once she got off the phone she stayed in her office to work. Then the dispatch siren went off and she heard the team depart and staying behind broke her heart.
She worked a bit longer but her mind could never fully concentrate. So she decided to do something stupid while the team was out on a call. She booked a taxi and not long after she was in front of the station waiting for her ride.
The driver got her at the airbase pretty quickly. She took out her pass and she hoped it worked even without him about. The man at the main gate let her through after checking her badge. So apparently he had told people she was allowed on the premises. That was a start. Painfully she reached the second check point and a guard approached her. Ok, her luck had already ran out.
“Can I help you, miss?”
“Yes, I am here to see captain Whitethorn.”
The man looked at her with curiosity for a second.
Did she got to the right airbase? As far as she knew there was only one and the first guy let her in.
“I am sorry miss but the captain and his team left a week ago.”
“Left?” Her voice trembled.
“Yes ma’am. They have been recalled and deployed a week ago.”
“Oh.” Was all Aelin managed “Th— thank you.” She turned and made her way back to the exit. Her heart slowly breaking. She sat down on a cement wall and let the sobs come. She took the phone and dialled his number and it went to voicemail “You could have told me. Instead you left. You just left me. Do you really hate me that much?” She sobbed and brushed her hand against her eyes “I hate you and I wish I never met you. Don’t ever bother look for me when you come back… I don’t want to see your face anywhere near my station. I am done with you, captain.” She hung up the phone and lowered her head and kept crying. She was done with men. She was done with pain and a broken heart. It was not worth it.
Eventually she pulled herself upright again and started walking. She had no idea to where, which she then realised that with crutches was a really bad idea. She had to stop a few times, exhaustion taking root. But the pain in her leg was keeping away the pain in her soul. It was much later when she realised she ended up in the west of Orynth and decided to go to west station, perhaps she could bribe the guys to give her a lift back to her firehouse.
Once outside the station, Thomas was the first one who noticed her. He ran to her and Aelin collapsed in his arm.
“Aelin, what are you doing here?’
“I need to sit” was all she managed. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the section with all the bunk beds. He placed the crutches on the floor and sat on the bed at her side.
“What happened?” He asked when he noticed her puffy eyes “Why are you over here? On your own?”
“I was at the airbase.”
Thomas looked at her in shock “are you telling me that you walked in your condition from the airbase to here?”
Aelin nodded. “Can you give me a lift back?”
“Of course,” he patted her leg “let me go and tell the guys.”
He came back not long after, and lifted her in his arms “Let’s go.”
Once in the car Aelin relaxed and leaned her head against the window.
“Excited about the big night with the Mayor?”
Aelin groaned and Thomas laughed.
“Exactly the reaction my whole team had as well.”
She sighed “Dorian said it’s mandatory and I think for the very first time I have been this close to hit him. But he still is my superior.”
Thomas chuckled “If there is someone who can hit the chief without repercussions is you.”
Aelin turned and looked at him with a questioning stare.
“I mean because you are close. It’s not news that the man is madly in love with you. He might let you off if you beat him. Actually he might even like it.”
This time it was Aelin’s turn to laugh “Dorian and I… nothing ever happened. We are just really good friends. Not even a kiss.”
“So now the news is that you have your eyes set on a certain airforce captain.”
Aelin tensed at those words “You all are a bunch of crazy gossiper, you know that?”
Thomas shrugged “What did he do?”
“I don’t want to talk about him.” Her tone hard and the man at her side realised it was time to shut up. They were at her station anyway.
Aelin noticed the engine was back and she knew she was in trouble. They clearly had noticed her absence. When she decided to look at her phone again she saw a lot of message and missed phone calls from Aedion. Damn, she was screwed.
“Here you are, my lady.”
Aelin leaned over and kissed him on the cheek “thank you so much for the ride.”
“Anytime.” He opened his mouth as if to speak, then stopped and tried again “if you need to talk, I am here. I know you have your friends, but if you prefer to talk with someone who is not around you all day, I am here.”
“You are wonderful.”
He helped her get out of the car, they said goodbye and he drove away again.
Aedion came marching on as soon as he noticed she was back “where the hell have you been? Why don’t you answer your bloody phone? We came back and you were not here, where you were supposed to be.” She felt bad for making them all worry but she did not feel like explaining herself so she just moved past him and in silence she dragged herself to her office and slammed the door shut.
She sat down at her desk and plopped her leg on the spare chair the guys had placed at her side so she could stretch her injured leg, hoping for the pain to subside. She took a few minutes for herself, then texted Lysandra telling her she needed her and Elide.
The two women arrived a few minutes later. They sat on the chair in front of her desk and Aelin knew that Lys was just as mad as Aedion had been.
“Where were you? We came back and you were gone.”
“I went to the airbase.” She confessed, looking outside the window, the sky looked heavy grey and she was positive snow was coming.
“As in the airbase. His airbase.”
Aelin nodded “I needed answers. I needed to know why he left that way. I had to ask him why all this hate.”
Aelin felt tears sting her eyes again “he was gone.” She paused “the whole team has been recalled and left for a mission a week ago. No goodbyes. Nothing. He just took off.”
Lysandra stood and ran to hug her friend “what an arsehole.”
Aelin started sobbing again “all I could do was leave him an angry voicemail telling to get away from me forever.”
“I am seriously going to kick his arse.”
Aelin pulled back from the hug “Not worth it remember?”
“We all go to that stupid party and we’ll find you a man there. Perhaps a hot wealthy man.”
Aelin chuckled “You know what, screw it. I’ll remain single all my life and if I want a good time I might ask Ansel.”
The two women laughed “she might take you up on that, you know, right?” Added Lysandra.
“Can we just stop talking about it? Fine he is hot but is he not a nice man. I want to forget that I even contemplated the fact that I had feelings for the bastard.”
“Copy that. I will pass the message along.”
“Have you considered that he might not be able to reply to you because of where he is? Perhaps he is on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the sea.”
Lysandra and Aelin stared at Elide.
“What?” She said shrugging “Lorcan gave me his number, he told me to text him. But he added as well that in the case he was going to leave for a mission not to worry if he did not reply because sometimes their phones don’t work.”
“So you knew they were away?”
“No,” replied the woman lifting her hands “I haven’t heard from him in a while. He is not the greatest of texter and I haven’t spoken to him in a while. I had no idea he was away until now when you told us.”
“Basically airforce boys do not know how to communicate. Got it.” Sarcasm dripping from Aelin’s voice.
Aelin shifted uncomfortably in her chair and Lysandra noticed that.
“Are you okay.”
“Just my leg, bothering me like hell today.”
“Sure, if you only just didn’t walk from the airbase to west station…”
Dispatch alarm went off and the two ladies ran out as the ambulance was needed.
Aelin tried going back to work but her brain was not there.
Out of boredom and curiosity and probably a deep desire for punishment she looked up the captain online. The search engine brought up a page about him. He was only two years older than her. Native of Wendlyn but moved to Terrasen when he was quite young for his father’s job. According to the article he climbed the ranks quite quickly and was thought to be one of the most promising captain in the TAF in a very long time.
“Nerd.” She joked.
Then she scrolled down to personal life and she got even more curious but froze when she read the paragraph.
The man had been married. His pregnant wife had died in a car accident over a year and a half before. She opened the link to the newspaper article about the accident and noticed the picture of the accident site. Her eyes fell on one detail of the image and swore.
She stood and wobbling she went to the file cabinet where she kept the reports for the old cases. She found the one she needed and sat back down. Lyria Whitethorn, that was the name of the woman. She had a look through the case file. She did remember it. It had snowed heavily and the road and had been icy and pretty bad in some areas of town. That accident had been horrendous and it had involved quite a few cars. Lyria’s car had been stuck under a lorry. According to the police it seemed like it had lost control and smashed under the lorry that had crashed against the barriers at the side of the road. She died on impact. It had been an horrendous night. They spent hours working under the snow and only one person had come out alive from that disaster.
She leaned back and felt tears running down her face. They had one big thing in common. They both had lost someone they loved. And all of a sudden it hit her. His reaction. His fear. And for a moment contemplated that he was just as scared as her to get involved again. She closed the file and grabbed her head in her hands. How badly had she fucked up?
She took her phone and dialled his number. The number was not available and she left him a voicemail message again “Hey it’s me again. I know you are away and probably can’t get this message. If you listen to the old one as well, just ignore it. I was mad. I did not mean it. I… just… let’s just talk when you get back. Please. Be safe, okay?”
She leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes and cried for both of them, for what they had lost and for the fear of committing again.
Saturday eventually arrived and Aelin was at home getting ready for the party. Lysandra and Elide had joined her since Lys was going to drive them all.
Aelin had been in a bad mood since her discovery about Rowan but had not told anyone about it. To do so would mean reveal his secret and she could not to do that. It was far too personal.
“You’d think that being barely able to walk would excuse me from such horrible events.” She growled while tying her tie.
“You have been in a funk for a few days. Are you okay?” Lysandra had noticed her bad mood.
“Fine.” She snapped. “I am sorry…”
“Just don’t piss off any politicians, okay? We need them.”
Aelin sighed “I will behave.”
They arrived at the venue not long after and they noticed the already high number of cars present.
“Are we too late to bail?” Asked Elide who had been uncomfortable as well at the idea.
“Unless you want Dorian to rip you a new one, I would leave aside that plan for now.”
The three women made their way to the main entrance where someone checked their names against a list. Aelin for a moment hoped that someone had messed up and forgot to add them.
But that hope died quickly when the man greeted them a bit too happily.
“Ok, are we ready?” Said Aelin gathering the courage she needed to face such a horrible night.
They entered the venue and the notes of classical music hit them.
“At least they have great taste in music.” Commented Aelin staring at the great hall.
Dorian spotted them from the distance and walked to them with a brisk pace “Ladies, you made it. wonderful. Go, mingle, have fun. There’s plenty of food.” He grabbed Aelin’s hand “You come with me. The mayor wants to meet you.”
“What?” Blurted Aelin, sweating cold all of a sudden.
“The mayor would like to speak with you. He met Thomas already. Now it’s your turn.”
“I am not speaking to the mayor.”
“Aelin… this is an order from your superior.”
The woman growled back “Oh, so pulling rank, now?”
“Come,” he repeated.
Aelin turned to Lysandra and Elide “if I don’t come back soon, please come and get me. I love you both.”
Dorian rolled his eyes and he started walking and Aelin followed behind.
Eventually they arrived where the mayor was entertaining some guest and Aelin wanted to turn away, but Dorian sensed her intentions and placed a hand on her lower back in warning.
“Ah, Dorian, I see you have captain Galathynius with you. Wonderful.”
Aelin leaned on one crutch and extended her hand to the man “please to meet you sir.”
“The honour is mine captain. And thank you for coming even in your conditions.”
As if I had a choice and she looked at Dorian glaring at him.
“I just wanted to offer my thank you in person for what you do in the community and what you did the night of the embankment accident.”
“The community comes first.” She commented and Dorian gently nudged her sides at her comment.
“You are absolutely correct, captain. I am aware that you will be getting a second engine at east station, I hope this is a welcomed news.”
Aelin smiled “Very much sir. It has been a long time coming and we are very excited.”
“This is my email,” he gave her a business card “email me. Any idea, concerns or anything else related to your job. I will do my best to make it happen.”
Aelin took the card and was speechless.
“Now unfortunately being the host forces me to go around and be pleasant with all these strangers. I don’t think there is alcohol enough to survive such an evening.”
He gave her a huge grin, waved at Dorian and walked away.
“Are we sure that was the mayor?”
Dorian nodded dumbfounded.
“Do you think he was drunk?”
Dorian shrugged, just as confused as her “Just don’t loose that card.” The man then left her and she had a moment alone to look around and enjoy the music. She hadn’t been at a classical concert in a lifetime and missed it. Or at the opera. She wanted to go to the opera again.
She had her eyes closed when she perceived a figure at her side. She opened her eyes again and noticed it was Thomas, looking at her in a curious way “Hey you.”
She looked at him and froze. The man in front of her was gorgeous. She was used to see him in his everyday uniform or the fire gear, and his hair tied and under an helmet. She almost did not recognise him. He had his dress mess uniform on, and his hair was free and she discovered it reached his shoulders.
“I almost did not recognise you there.”
He grinned “I know, without soot and dirt on me it must be a challenge.”
She smiled back at him.
“How is your night going?” He asked, moving closer to her.
“Counting the minutes until Dorian tells me it’s okay to go home.”
She shuffled in her position and he placed a hand on her back “you should sit down.”
“Does this place have a balcony?”
Thomas grinned “Follow me, m’lady.”
“Did you meet the mayor?” She asked as they started walking.
“He gave me his business card and told me to tell me if there was anything we needed.” He made his way through the crowd.
“Me too. I am going to email him and ask a bucket load of expensive equipment.”
“I have my wish-list ready.” Thomas commented smiling wickedly.
They arrived at the balcony and once there Aelin leaned heavily against the wall.
“Are you okay?” Suddenly Aelin noticed their proximity. Thomas was right in front of her.
“I am fine.”
“Want something to drink?”
“Please. Wine if they have it.”
He smiled and she noticed his dimples appear “I’ll be right back.” And she felt her face flush hot.
What was happening to her? Why all of a sudden she was attracted to him?
She saw Lys walking by and waved at her.
“What are doing here?”
“Hiding.” She said hurriedly “I have a problem.”
“What did you do?”
“I want to do something stupid.”
“Thomas.” She explained.
Lysandra looked at her friend with a puzzled face.
“As in he is the one one I want to … do”
“Holy fuck,” she exclaimed almost spilling all her wine on her uniform.
Aelin looked up “I don’t know. He was here, he was nice, he smiled and I just… have you seen him tonight?”
“No I was with Aedion and the guys.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Don’t do… anything.” Then she moved away “he is coming back.”
Thomas came back with the drinks and placed them on the ledge beside them.
She had known and worked with the other captain for a very long time. They had gone through the academy together. And never, not once she had ever felt a smidge of attraction for him.
He leaned against the wall just beside her, shoulders brushing gently “is your team ready for the performance review?”
Aelin nodded “Yes, Aedion and I are going through as many different scenarios as possible. They are ready. But I hate that I will have to stare from the sidelines.” She told him “How did yours go?”
Thomas drank some wine “We had a few bad moments. My newbie fucked up a couple of things and threw the whole team off track for a moment but they did recover splendidly. Manon was the best in our individual challenge.”
“Ohh I like her. Can I please get her and Asterin for my new engine?”
“We’ll see.” The man gave her a wide smile that made his dimples come back.
She pinched his side and he grabbed her hands to block her. She stopped and stared at him for a moment and then they both moved at the same time. Their lips met and he pushed her against the wall and she left her crutches fall on the ground. His hand behind her back to hold her up. The kiss deepened and Aelin opened for him and a small moan escaped her.
“Oh shit.” Said a voice at her side and Aelin recognised Lysandra and Aedion at her side.
She and Thomas broke apart quickly. Thomas coughed embarrassed, looked at Aelin and excused himself.
“What the fuck was that?”
Aelin’s hand went to her mouth, her lips still swollen by the kiss.
Aedion kneeled to pick up her crutches and passed them to her.
In that instant the rest of the team arrived.
“Why is everyone out here? It’s cold.”
“Aedion and I just discovered Aelin making out with Thomas.”
“Do you mean captain Hamilton?” Asked Brullo.
“I thought you liked the silver haired fox.” Added Ansel.
“Are you and Thomas a thing now?” This time it was Ren.
“You… happened to trip on his lips?” Nox gave her a smug smile and Aelin would have stormed out if she hadn’t been on crutches.
Aelin placed the glass back on the ledge and started to walk away. Lysandra caught up with her “I am sorry. It just came out.”
“Lys, I don’t care.”
The woman grabbed her arm “Aelin, please…”
“What? I don’t know what I was doing okay? We kissed. And I don’t understand my feelings anymore.” She leaned against the wall, her knee throbbing with pain “I haven’t known my feelings since Sam died.” She sniffled “I work. I throw myself into work because that it’s when I do not think that he is gone from my life.” She closed her eyes and tried to put all her pain back “it just felt nice for a moment to have that again. And I know I am sounding like a pathetic mess… I don’t know why I did it.” Aelin sobbed “I am so tired of hurting.” A tear appeared at the corner of her eyes “you have Aedion. I don’t have anyone.”
Lysandra hugged her friend “I am so sorry.”
Aelin leaned into her friend “we are fine.” She pulled back “but I am going home. I am in a ton of pain and I really want to lie down.”
“I’ll tell Dorian if he starts looking for you.”
“We are off tomorrow. Fancy a girls day? We can invite Elide and Ansel.”
“Yeah. Yeah, please.”
“Good,” Lys patted her shoulder “now go home and relax.”
She was outside ready to call a taxi when she heard a voice calling her. She turned and saw Thomas running to her.
“Aelin,” he stopped in front of her “I am sorry. I have no idea what got into me. I was there and all of a sudden I wanted to kiss you.”
She turned to him and moved closer enough to kiss him. His hand slipped to her waist and pulled her closer. She melted in his arms and felt his hand caressing her back.
“I was going home.” She said against his lips.
“I can’t let you piss off Havilliard on your own.”
She kissed him again and then detached so he could call a taxi.
Their ride home arrived not long after and the journey to Aelin’s flat was not too long.
They made it to her flat and he lifted her in his arms and walked to the bedroom. He dropped her on the bed and leaned on top of her and kissed her deeply, his hands trailing on the sides of her body and Aelin leaned into the touch. Her hand trailed up to his face and then fisted into his golden hair and pulled him down for another kiss. Maybe it was a mistake but she could not care.
Slowly he started to unbutton her shirt and Aelin did the same for him and not long after they were both naked and Aelin stared at his body and realised the man was so incredibly well built.
“You will have to lead the dances, captain.” He lowered himself again over her and kissed her in a way that made her forget all the pain and hurt.
It was later, after their adventure in bed.
Aelin smiled at him satisfied. The man had skills and for a while he made her forget the real reason why that night she had searched for comfort in him.
They were now sitting in bed, their back against the headboard and the blanket covering them up.
“Did we just mess up our friendship?” He asked turning to her “I am not complaining I just…”
She sighed at his side “I think we did it for the wrong reasons.”
He agreed “Epically awesome rebound sex?”
Aelin nodded and Thomas turned to her “you are stunning though, and if the captain can’t see it, well, it’s his loss.”
“You are a sweet man” and she caressed his face “and your ex is a bitch.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him down, “fancy watching stupid movies? We can also order in. There’s a place round the corner that stays open till late. I had no food at that stupid party.”
“I’ll get the beers.” He said getting off the bed and putting his briefs back on.
Aelin grabbed a discarded t-shirt “I’ll order the food.”
He came back with the beers and offered one to her “to our own party.”
They clinked the bottles and went to camp on the sofa.
whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 6 of ?)
gif by my queen @michaelgreys, i'm basically her fanblog now but im not mad about it :) i mean just look at him!!1! i almost fainted
a/n: first of all, if you stuck around to this point, tysm for reading!!! this has been one of the most amazing fics ive ever been a part of and it's all thanks to the gorgeous @stxdyblr-2k, who generously took control of the next few parts. her brain is beautiful and we all owe her flowers or something. when i read what she sent me i couldn't bring myself to change much except for some small edits, so pls give her lots of love if you like it!!!! i'm still working on requests as well :)
prompt: nothing this good can last forever. john doesn't know how to feel, and neither do you.
warnings: nsfw! a teensy bit of smut, angsty as fuck prepare yourselves accordingly, a lil fluff if u squint, yeah this fucked me up
Obviously, it wasn't the last time.
Over the coming months you had many last times; his mouth pressed against your neck said as much. As his responsibility at work increased, you'd find yourself heading to his office after your lectures and night classes more often, perched on his lap, smoking, while he finished up his numbers under your critical gaze.
Thomas was more than aware; his snarky comments made it obvious he had his ways of monitoring your actions. You'd seen the dark car lurking outside your rallies and lectures, and no matter how you'd try to throw him off, not even telling Ada where you were going and even, in a moment of desperation, through your neighbours back window, somehow, his silent shadow was still looming. He was practically begging you to make a mistake, to give everyone an easy out. You just couldn't give him the satisfaction. You knew Tommy saw the world as a chess board, always several moves ahead of his opponent. Even when you played him in chess club all those years ago, you could outflank him if you thought on your feet and kept him thinking he was winning until you obliterated him in the end game. It was brutal, sure. But as he told you, there were bigger games at play. You had your own. Thomas could read your mail, intercept your phone calls and have you followed, but he couldn't hear what you said out of earshot. Your lot could smell an interceptor in your ranks, so spying at that close of a proximity was out of the question.
That's why he'd decided to let you have John. You knew his silent approval and his constant management of the narrative meant he saw a tactical gain. There was only so much information he could get from Ada, but John? He just had to agitate him in the right way and all your secrets would come tumbling out. It was difficult hiding your world from John; of what he knew of, he was supportive, quizzing you over current affairs and political discourse, listening intently. Yet, you had to watch your mouth. You had to keep a barrier up and you knew John sensed the distance. Fundamentally, there was nothing either of you could do.
So here you were, in a comfortable limbo. Your days were filled with work, evenings were for lectures and reading groups at the city's university, Ada and you often stopped for a drink or three; you'd go by your flat to freshen up, and then to John's office. Sometimes, you wouldn't visit for a week or so when the guilt sent you over the edge, it was draining to be living so many lives and knowing you were betraying the person you loved most on earth. Ada was oblivious, taking you on her nightly adventures filled with men, dancing and waiting while she was busy kissing in dark corners. Sometimes a young blinder would ask if you wanted to be walked home. The first occurrence you thought was sweet, but as the nights it occurred coincided with nights John seemed extra pent up, you'd decided to ask. The boy, who couldn't be older than twelve but who you knew was trained in using firearms and had a revolver pinned to his hip and a razor in his cap, looked confused.
"Mate, it's not a tough question. Why do you come and ask?"
"There's a phone call." He shrugs, "Isaiah or Michael tells us to go and get you."
Isaiah and Michael were somewhat aware? Fucking hell. Your fling was basically a military campaign at this point, so many of your friends were complicit. The little lads who ran as messengers around Birmingham were complicit. You had to just end it.
But when you sat on his thigh, his chin hooked over your shoulder, it felt so worth it. He never turned you away when you came crawling back. He never mentioned it until after you were finished, hooked under his arm.
"Fucking missed you, gorgeous."
Sometimes he'd remind you not to be a stranger with a wink, but you could tell it was tearing him apart too. He never once came to you. That's how he could justify it in his mind; obviously, the bare minimum was not having sex with his sister's best friend, but in failing that, waiting for you to initiate it was somewhat better. He barely talked to Ada now, citing work as an excuse, but truly the guilt sickened him. He couldn't believe he was prepared to continuously hurt his little sister and betray her. But every time you turned up at his door, he couldn't find it in himself to turn you away. In his mind, every single time you came to visit him was the last time he'd let it happen, yet he was always waiting for you to come back, his blind closed to signal he was prepared. He never would call, it had to be your choice.
You'd been off and on for over five months now. It was so difficult to hide in plain sight, but you just couldn't stop yourself. Neither of you purposefully meant for this to be happen but fuck, was it fun.
For your birthday he'd gifted you a fur coat from the same shop his sister, aunt and the fashionable crowd of Birmingham had purchased theirs. He joked that you looked like a "proper razor chaser", kissing you when you pouted at his teasing, begging you to wear only the coat when you fucked him next. It was a practice for blinders to buy a coat for their wives and girlfriends as a status symbol. You were neither, but John claimed that being his "favourite lass" also counted.
John was a laugh, but you knew at any time he could close his door to you. Until he decided he couldn't be bothered with you, you weren't going to get caught. You just had to be careful until he got bored.
You did end up putting a foot wrong. It was a Thursday night; you were sitting on the edge of John's desk while he was ridding you of your blouse. It was past midnight, Birmingham was asleep. You almost didn't bother coming out tonight, but you knew John had lost a deal and you wanted to be there for him. Your skirt and stockings were strewn across the desk with his shirt, vest and waistcoat, muddled into the files and papers which were once neatly stacked.
His fingers were pumping in and out of you, his mouth lapping at your breast, your head tipped back in euphoria, groaning. The stress made him more affectionate and tender with you, and it was nights like these that made you wonder. Wonder if this could ever be something more, something real.
John's body suddenly pulled away from yours, quickly turning the light off.
"John, what-" You were cut off by John’s hand over your mouth, muffling your words.
"Shut up and get behind the desk." He hissed. "Someone's coming upstairs."
You quickly grabbed your clothes from the shiny oak surface and crouched, hiding yourself from view, quickly making yourself decent. You weren't going to get shot through the head with your tits out. You listened to the stairs creek, and it sounded like a group. You two were easily outnumbered. They were talking, but the thick panels of wood muffled their voices.
As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the cracks in the door giving the room a dulled glow, you could make out the figure of John. He was free of his shirt, toned body on display, standing with his back flat to the wall, revolver produced from a discreet notch in the door frame, gaze fixed on where they'd enter. He was tense, ready. The door was unlocked from the outside, the door handle twisting.
John's lip shifted in confusion yet still he kept his trigger finger ready, not a single shake from your general.
The light flicked on and a shriek rang out. It was blinding, and you stood up slightly dazed. Finn was in the doorway, John next to him clutching his chest, panting and lowering the gun.
"Jesus Christ, Finn, can't you knock like a normal person? Scared the shit out of us." John bellowed, shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his body, resting his hands on the edge of the desk as he regained his breath.
"You're the one who pointed a gun at me! I didn't even know you were in 'ere!" Finn yelped.
The commotion had attracted the attention of Ada and Isaiah, who had come running and stopped in their tracks upon seeing you standing behind John's desk in the middle of the night. They weren't stupid. John was topless, your clothes obviously rumpled, both with matching tousled hair and practically stinking of guilt. You'd been caught red handed. Ada's eyes flicked between both you and John, and you could practically see the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in her mind, all the moments she found questionable since you'd returned suddenly making sense, realising she had been deceived by the two people who she was meant to trust most in life. Finn looked absolutely crushed, he'd never been able to conceal his emotions as well as his older brothers and sister, linking his fingers through Ada's, squeezing her hand.
"I forgot to drop this off earlier." Finn stated, holding up a money box, "Ada had keys so we thought we'd sneak in so I wouldn't get done by Tommy. We did call round yours, Y/N. We thought you were in bed."
"I'm sorry." You said. It was not enough but you just didn't know what else to say. You couldn't make it right, you'd really fucked up this time. Tears pricked at your eyes, as Ada examined you in silence.
John stepped in front of you defensively. "Look, Ada-"
"How long has this been going on?" She asked, her voice shaking with rage. You and John exchanged a glance. "I said, how fucking long?"
"Five months, six in a fortnight." He answered.
Isaiah whistled lowly. "That's fucked. I thought it was only a few times, that it'd finished."
"Never really over when it's John is it." Finn interjects, you glance to him, were you just one in a long string? You shouldn't be surprised but it was easy to pretend he may actually care about you.
"You've been fucking around for six months behind my back?" Ada yelped, Finn trying to comfort her but she pulled away from him. "And you fucking knew Iz."
"I'd expect this from you, yeah? Wouldn't put anything past you these days.." she sneered at John, "But you? You?! You're meant to be my best mate, but here you are sneaking about fucking my brother?"
"Ada-" you began, eyes welling with tears.
"I thought I could trust you. You're just another fucking razor chaser, aren't you?" She spits. "That's why you came back."
"No it wasn't, Ada-"
Her eyes flashed with anger, but this time John was on the receiving end. "You bought her that fucking coat ,didn't you? The fur one. You did! Fuck's sake!" Her fists were clenched, shoulders squared. For the first time in your life, you understood why crowds parted for Ada Shelby. Understood all the free drinks and cab rides, the nervous serving staff declaring your meal on the house (always acknowledged by Ada with a hefty tip), understood why the men of Birmingham didn't last long with her.
"Did it feel good to swan about town in that fucking coat, while acting as though you cared about me? It's so fucking embarrassing. All trussed up because my knobhead big brother makes you feel special? Thanks for rubbing it in my face."
"Ada, I love you. I never meant to hurt you, I got caught up and that's on me. It's my fault."
"You're not acting like you love me. This isn’t what love is, Y/N." She retorted.
You couldn’t do anything but nod. She was right.
John opened his mouth to speak, Ada silencing him, a scowl darkening her features.
"I don't care what you have to say. Any of you. Who else knows?"
"Thomas, Michael, Arthur-" John listed off slowly, each name prompting Ada to break down a little bit more in front of you.
"I didn't know Arthur knew." You said pointedly, John sending you an exasperated glance. He was planning on dealing with that later, but right now was about his sister. Fuck him if he thought you were going to stick around much longer. You didn't want to hear him justify everyone else knowing about your fling with your best friend being left completely in the dark.
"That all you have to say for yourself?" Ada snaps at you.
"I have fucking no defense, do I Ada? I should've walked away." You pushed your hair back, frustrated at yourself, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You begged yourself not to cry. Tears wouldn't help anything.
"Why didn't you?"
You didn't know. Your silence only riled her up.
"Why didn't you fucking walk away?" Ada yelled, slamming her hands on the desk.
You felt hot tears run down your face, quickly moving your hands to dab at your tears.
"Don't you dare fucking cry. After all you've done, you don't get to cry in front of me." Ada growled at you, John going to shush her, obviously wanting to comfort you. "You can all fuck off. You've all lied to me and gone behind my back. Fuck’s sake, you could've just told me. You could've just told me."
"We didn't want to hurt you." John said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder but she flinches away.
"This hurts so much more. You get that you all lying to me is so much worse, don't you?"
"We weren't thinking."
"You really fucking weren't." Ada laughs bitterly, shaking her head, blinking away tears. "Fuck you lot."
She stormed out, tailed by Finn, begging her to slow down and talk to him, protesting his innocence in the situation. Isaiah hesitated in the doorway, his eyes flickering between you and John.
"I had no idea you two've been at it for so long."
"Iz, fuck off yeah? I've had enough today." John shot back, sliding across the desk towards you. "You alright, lass?"
"We're done here, John."
He slid off the table, his hand cupping your face, "Hey, gorgeous, I get it but don't go breaking my heart tonight. Can we just leave this for tomorrow? Sleep on it."
The idea of getting any sleep at all tonight was laughable, you'd be up all night replaying these moments and torturing yourself. Tonight couldn't get any worse so you had to finally end it. Now was the right time.
"John, it should've never happened."
"But it did."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over."
"Y/N. You know for me it was never just about-"
"You're making it difficult. Stop making it difficult. Whatever you say isn't going to change that right now we have to do the right thing."
"I know you're right, but I don't want to let go. Is it so wrong to want you? I adore you, you know that."
You wouldn't meet his eyes. Sighing, John pressed his forehead to the side of your head, chin brushing your shoulder, eyes closing. He was begging you to stay with him. There had to be a solution, you'd figure it out together. His voice was cracking, eyes glassy. He looked so much younger when he was pleading. The tall bloke who terrorised the Midlands with his razor rimmed cap, a revolver in his hand, and a ruthless trigger finger had vanished. You wanted to stay, burning to curl up with him and for him to kiss it better.
"I should go." You told him. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh before pulling away, nodding.
"I'd drive you home but obviously-"
John suddenly turned from you, eyes narrowing at Isaiah who was still hovering at the door. "Thought I told you to fuck off. Make yourself useful and get Y/N home safely." His tone was ice cold once again.
Isaiah nodded, offering his arm to you. You reached the door and instinctively looked back at John. His eyes met yours, staring at you from his desk, just as you knew he would. He prepared himself to watch you leave every night, but this time was different. That was it with you two.
Isaiah strode down the street with you in silence. You were tucked into his side as was customary with the upcoming blinders who were particularly ambitious, but there was no relaxed chat.
"Isaiah. What’re you thinking?" You asked, voice tinged with nervousness.
He sighed, running his free hand across his jaw, "That was intense in there."
"Just how he is." You shrugged.
"Does he love you or sommet?"
"Fuck knows… does it matter?"
"Of course it does. Do you love him?"
"Drop it. None of that matters, it shouldn't have happened in the first place so it can’t," You snapped, the anger at the situation you'd created suddenly overwhelming.
Isaiah whistled, raising his brow at your obvious turmoil. "You're in fucking deeper than you want to admit."
He walked you up your path, watching you turn the key to the side door leading to your bedsit. You paused, turning to him.
"Iz… I don't know what to do next."
It was so dark, you could see his face only by the lit cigarette burning to embers between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, pausing before delivering his carefully laid out plan of avoidance. Obviously the event of him crossing the Shelbys and losing their good graces weighed heavily on his mind. You nodded, listening intently, noting his ideas of relocation but he explained they were a final resort. The best thing to do was try to regain their trust; in the long run, he had calculated, it was the only option that didn't result in your life being haunted by the Shelbys. Even if they left you alone, their enemies would make a point to go after you, seeing you as an easy target. The other option was to leave the country.
"Good luck, Y/N. I mean it." He muttered as you turned the handle to the temporary safety of your home. You nodded, offering you cheek for the polite good night kiss you'd become accustomed to. He rolled his eyes and obliged, pressing an affectionate kiss to your cheek and ruffling your hair. "I'm serious. Watch your back."
John broke down when he finally heard the lock click shut. His eyes had been prickling with boiling tears, his jaw tensed to hold them back. He yelled out in anger, flipping his desk with force, a loud crash as the wood splintered against the stone flooring, glass shattering from the photo frames. His hands went to his head, unable to stop the gasping breaths escaping from his trembling lips, his face reddening.
"Fuck’s sake." He growled. He'd fucked everything up. He had nothing, just as he'd told you the first night you returned. The consequence was no surprise, he'd anticipated the fall out for a while, but he couldn't resist you. He was completely guilty and had no defense; his only justification being that you made him think with his cock, not his brain.
Fuck’s sake. Polly was going to murder him. She'd always had a soft spot for Ada, as the only girl in the family, and was no stranger to lecturing him over his flirtatious behaviour around Ada's friends. She'd murder him. He had a half mind to never go home. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. Polly had no use for tears. That's what she'd tell him when he was a boy coming home with a skinned knee. This was far worse.
He was also sure that he was a worse brother than Tommy, perhaps the worst in the world. His baby sister, who he'd helped to toddle, carry proudly on his shoulders after school and race with her on his back through the fields on the outskirts of Small Heath, had walked in on him obviously in the midst of fucking her best mate. If he had swallowed his pride and actually talked to her, he wouldn't be in this mess. He could've told her that things changed, that for the same reasons Ada loved Y/N he had fallen for her, that he was truly sorry but she had to know before it got too far and someone got hurt. He couldn't go back.
He should've never approached you that night.
He should never approach you again.
He looked over the mess of his office, the splintered wood and shards of glass, a confetti of paperwork. Now nothing mattered. None of this mattered. He'd lost everything and he had only himself to blame.
a/n: this is my first story so don’t hate please, this is also my first time using tumblr and i normally write on wattpad!! this may turn into a series
summary|| you meet bucky and his daughter at a diner but little do you know...
pairing|| singledad!bucky x reader
warnings|| some fluff, angst, mentions of lost, lil kissy-kiss, smut, praise kink, public sex, orgasm control/denial, oral (reader receiving), fingering, degradation kink(once)
those blue eyes. the sound of dishes and utensils clashing together. soft chatter; all devouring me as you sat at the counter of my favorite diner. a man and a little girl were sitting a few seats down and they both had huge smiles on their faces; speaking somewhat loudly.
"the longer you stare, the more amount of time he has to leave." you hear from in front of me. noelle, your favorite and oldest worker at the diner says. she smiles at you and her silver hairs shine in the sun.
"i'm not staring." you lie and she makes a straight face. you giggle a bit and the man looks towards you, "just watching.." noelle looks at the man and the little girl and waddles over too them. you look away as noelle begins too tell them your whole life story.
"my daddy needs a girlfriend" the little girl says and the whole diner hears, making you giggle a bit.
"becca, where'd you learn that?" he ask and shushes her. i turn back around and look at them. becca has long brown hair and blue eyes like her dad. she claps her black boots together as she begins talking
"well i overhead it when you and uncle steve were talking. he said you need too find a girlfriend." she flat out says and noelle gives her a high five which she grants immediately; and noelle walks over to some costumers just walking in. bucky looks down and sighs; clearing his throat
the dad looks up at me and begins to speak, "i'm james buchanan barnes by the way, but everyone calls me bucky or buck." he says and gives me a smile.
"i'm y/n." you say hesitantly.
"i can't hangout anytime today, but are you free on wednesday?" he ask and becca looks over towards you with a look on her face. you have 3 days to get physical and mentally prepared.
"of course" you say and becca gives me a big grin. she looks over at her dad who also has a big smile on her face and he goes to whisper too her.
"she is really beautiful, daddy." she mumbles and my eyes widen.
"we have to go though." bucky says and slides his phone across the counter also sliding cash onto the counter; while grabbing beccas hand pulling her from her seat. "we have a whole day ahead of us." you quickly grab the unlocked phone, and put your number in. he begins to walk towards the door, hand in hand with becca and reaches out for the phone with a smile.
"bye doll" he mouths and my heart melts. becca waves quickly and pulls her dad towards the door. doll. you hope that nickname sticks
"i would like a thank you." noelle says while walking over with a to-go cup of coffee in her hand and placing it in front of you. "admit it hun, i put in the effort."
you roll my eyes and chuckle, "yes you did noelle, thank you." sliding your card towards her she rings me up and i give her a cash tip.
you and bucky have been conversing back and forth since sunday. he's coming to pick me up at 8.
"don't stress it," your best friend says while shuffling through my closet. "he showed interest i'm guessing."
you huff and look up at her in my closet, she's examining your clothes briefly and you don't know if it's a good briefing or bad. "do we need to go shopping? bucky told me too dress in whatever makes me comfortable."
she stops shuffling and looks over at you, “you got a good one. now please get over here and pick out your clothes, you have two and a half hours left.”
it’s around 7:30 now and you’re just finishing up your hair. your best friend left just a few minutes ago and now it’s a waiting game. a loud crack of a motorcycle erupts outside but you don’t acknowledge it. looking down at your outfit, you sigh and look in the mirror.
three knocks at your front door bring you back too reality. “shit” you mumble and rush towards the door trying to pull your shoes on, “i’m coming.” once you get to the door, you open it and you mouth drops. he looks so good, with his black tee that maybe a few sizes too small and black jeans. “..hi. you’re early” you say with a chuckle
bucky looks me up and down and grins, “you look beautiful. i couldn’t wait to see you” he mumbles and steps out of the way so i can walk out. the tension between us is heavy, like weights on our shoulders that we won’t knock off.
“you look great too.” you say and give him a flashy smile “so where are you taking me?” you ask and begin walking down the steps of your apartment building; him following behind
“you’ll see. i got my coworker, sam too watch rebecca for the night so we have all night and tomorrow morning to spend” he says and you hear him smiling. when we get downstairs you look around for his car. he begins to laugh and you stare at him.
“what?” you mumble and he motions to the all black motorcycle just a few feet away from you. “buck, i don’t know...” you begin. he grabs your hand and pulls you have to the bike and grabs one of the helmets.
“if you truly don’t wanna do it, i won’t make you doll.” he expressed and had a small smile on his face.
“fine, but if i die-“ you begin. “you won’t die.” he assured and you raised an eyebrow. he places the helmet on your head gently; then he does the same with his, and sitting on the bike. you get on right after and the bike comes too life.
“hold on.” he says and before you can acknowledge what he says, the motorcycle is begin pulled out of the parking lot of your apartment building. you wrap your arms around him tightly and you can feel his stomach vibrate from laughing. when he pulls out into the main streets, everything looks magical. after about ten minutes of riding, he pulls on a cliff.
the engine cuts and you take the helmet off, “please tell me, you’re not gonna kill me.” you say and he cuts his eye at you, “no” he mumbles. opening the seat of the motorcycle, he pulls out a basket and a blanket. the sun is going down slowly and the view from the cliff is beautiful.
you watch as bucky lays out the blanket and places the basket on top of it. you sit down across from him and looks at you. quickly and smoothly; he pulls you into his lap. “sorry i’m not the most romantic, but tell me about yourself.” he insisted and begins to rub your thigh.
“well.” you begin and grab a bottle of water from the basket, “i was born and raised in brooklyn. uh..my parents died when i was younger and i was pushed back and forth from family member to foster home. i’m 27, i’m a criminal defense lawyer and i got snapped out of existence five years ago...what about you?”
bucky takes a deep breath, tenses a bit, and kisses the top of your head, “i was also born and raised in brooklyn, my parents died when i was younger.. and my job.. i don’t know. my best friend died recently, i got snapped out of existence, have a five year old daughter and i’m 106 years old.”
you sit up and laugh a bit. “funny.” you mumble which catches buck off guard. “i’m sorry about your parents, and best friend. i have a question though.” you begin and he reaches for one of the beers he placed in the basket and opening it.
“hmm?” he hums and takes a sip, “what’s with the gloves?” you ask and bucky almost chokes. you sit up and even more and turn to look at him. “is that a touchy subject?” you mumble and he nods a bit.
“sorry” you apologize slowly but he stops you, “you didn’t know angel.” you guys stare at each other for a bit and he smiles softly and leans in. his lips are soft and inviting when they meet yours. he pulls yours leather jacket off slowly and grabs your hips. you can feel yourself growing wetter and wetter. “do you want this angel? do you want this right here, right now?” he ask between kisses.
you nod slightly and he pulls his shirt over his head and brings the kiss back together. he pulls your jeans off and grabs your ass; pulling you further too his lap. his thumb brushes over your clit slowly and your breath gets caught in your throat. “god you’re so wet for me already baby.” he mumbles and smiles and kisses your neck. you look up at the skin and pull the moan back into the throat.
his thumb pulls your underwear to the side and he begins rubbing your clit. you didn’t care if you guys were seen. moans escape your lips and bucky brings you back to kiss him, you moan into his mouth and at some point you can feel his hard dick on you thigh.
“bucky, i’m gonna cum.” you say as you feel an orgasm coming on.
“don’t.” he says in a monotone and lays you down on your back, still rubbing your clit. the bundle of nerves can’t take much more but you listen to him. you feel your underwear at your ankles and the feeling of the cold wind and bucky’s breath on your cunt make it extremely hard to hold your orgasm. he begins to lick your slit slowly, mainly focusing on your clit. “you taste so damn good.”
“please, can i cum?” you plead and he mumbles, “no, i want too feel you cum around my hard dick.” you feel fingers going in you and he begins pumping into you. your moans become louder and less consistent. after a few seconds, he goes to unbuckle his jeans. his cock springs out and hits his stomach. it’s the biggest one you’ve seen and about to be the biggest one you’ve taken.
“god.” you mumble and he chuckles while lowering himself and lining up with your entrance and sliding in. he throws his head back and moans softly, “you feel so good doll, like you were made for me. his hips begin to slap against the back of your thighs and your moans become even louder.
“you’re so big.” you say and he starts to pump into you faster. “can i cum now?” you plead.
“cum slut.” he mumbles and pulls your legs too rest on his shoulders. the new angle and his words give you the best orgasm ever. “your pussy is squeezing me so much right now.” he groans and begins rubbing your clit. “you feel so good baby. ‘m gonna cum” he says and pumps into you a few more times before pulling out and pulling you into your knees; shoving his member into your mouth.
you feel his hot cum going down your throat and you lick and suck every drop. “you’re so beautiful.” he mumbles and pulls you too your feet. as soon as you stand, your legs feel like jelly and you almost fall. bucky catches you and sits you back down.
he grabs your panties and jeans and helps you into them. “stay the night with me.” he says and you look up as he’s putting on his jeans. “what?” you say.
“stay the night with me. becca wants too see you and i wouldn’t mind waking up too you.” he says and winks.
Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Helion/The Lady of the Autumn Court (ACoTaR)
Characters: Helion (ACoTaR), The Lady of the Autumn Court (ACoTaR), Beron Vanserra
Additional Tags: First Meeting, Flirting, Magic, Mischief, Equinox Ball, Innuendo
In 'A Court of Wings and Ruin', Mor mentions the Lady of Autumn meeting Helion at an Equinox Ball the year before she was married to Beron at her parents' behest. This is my take on that first meeting and what happened during the ball.
-Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Rosie Holland x Henry Osterfield
-Warnings: Guns, bombing, language, murder, blood, hints to smut (none actual smut), typos, shitty writing, torture I guess
A/n: Can we get back to mob stuff? Please. I want to apologize for this chapter, it is absolute shit and I could tell by writing it. Kind of a filler chapter. Sorry it is long.
Chapter 13: Revenge Never Felt So Good
It had been a week, since you got your memories back and you declared your love for Tom once more. Right after that, you and Tom were on the first train to Paris, refusing to fly for awhile.
You and Tom returned last night, just in time to see Parker and Rosie off to school the next morning. While you and Tom had been enjoying a second honeymoon in the city of love, Nikki and Dom so graciously offered to watch the kids. Everything was falling back into full swing. Parker and Rosie were going to school regularly. Rosie spending all her time with Henry and Parker still living his secret double life.
Things going back to normal. Somewhat.
It was a typical morning, but anytime everyone every thinks that, something gets massively screwed up. You woke up early to make pancakes and bacon.
“So what is plan for everyone today?” You asked, sipping at your steaming cup of coffee.
“Well, Rosie and I have school,” Parker explained.
“I have plans with Henry,” Rosie chimed in.
“I have meetings all day, love.” Tom said, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek.
“Ok, so I’m all alone today,” you muttered, a little disappointed.
“I’m sorry darling, you could join me. You know much I love it when you sit in my lap during meetings. Really show them who’s boss,” Tom said, wrapping you in his embrace.
“No, it’s ok. I have some errands to run anyway.”
“Alright, angel. I love you. I’ll see you for dinner.”
“I love you too. Come on, kids. In the car we go.” You said, pushing everyone out the door.
“Why is Jared not driving?” Parker asked.
“Cause, I have errands to run and besides he’s driving your dad today.”
“Now let’s go.” You said as Parker and Rosie hopped into the car.
Tom was having a hard time returning to his mob personality. Some business was conducted in Paris, you tagged along and enjoyed every minute of it. Tom sometimes overcompensated for not being as dangerous and intimidating. He had grown soft taking care of you after the helicopter crash. Helping you get your memory took most of his time, he had to step away from the mob for awhile. But you were his top priority.
Tom couldn’t remember the last time he sat in his office doing business. He missed it. He missed the thrill of torturing someone, having them beg for their life in front of him. He missed the feeling of firing his gun.
“Tom, you’re late,” Haz said as Tom got out of the car.
“Sorry not sorry Haz, I enjoyed breakfast with Y/N and the kids this morning,” Tom responded.
“I have to tell you something.”
“What? It’s never good news if it’s right when I get here.”
“We’re down two more.” Harrison mumbled referring to then decreasing number of soldiers part of the Holland Empire.
“Are you fucking serious? Haz, I’m so fucking tired of this bullshit. My men are getting fucking killed. Everything has gone to shit,” Tom screamed, enraged.
“Tom, we’ll figure it out. Just need to keep your cool.” Haz said, trying to avoid Tom’s wrath.
“Easier said than done. Alright, who’s here,” Tom asked, trying to forget about everything else.
“William.” Haz said with a straight face.
“What? Why? He’s always been loyal,” Tom questioned. One of his most valuable men, working against him, the rat?
“I got word from the soldiers he has been taking bribes from Parker,” Harrison explained.
“What the fuck for? Well, I guess we’ll find out.” Tom said, walking into the main room of the warehouse.
“William, I’d never thought it would be you in this chair.” Tom said, walking up to one of his most trusted employees.
“Tom, you gotta believe me. I didn’t do anything. I’m not the rat,” William pleaded. He knew what had been happening to the mob.
“Did you or did you not take money from Parker?” Tom asked.
“Yes, he just wanted to get out of the manor at night. So, he paid me to turn a blind eye.”
“Where was he going?”
“I don’t know, I assumed to some girl’s house.”
“William, I trust you. So I’m going to let you off with a warning, but you can’t let him sneak out anymore. I’m afraid we are being targeted. If he tries to leave, you have to tell me.”
“Yes, boss. I’m sorry.” William apologized.
“It’s ok, but you understand what needs to happen right? I can’t be looking like I’ve gone soft,” Tom asserted.
“Yeah, I can take it. It’s ok,” William said, gritting his teeth as he waited for the collision of Tom’s fist to his cheek. Tom winded up to deliver one swift punch to William’s left eye. Not breaking the skin but creating a dark purple blotch.
All of Tom’s frustrations have been channeled into his mob duties. Each punch riddled with anger and frustration. A release of catharsis combined with blood. Tom wears the smell of blood and death like a perfume.
The rest of the day was full of uneventful meetings. Meetings with business associates, actual business associates for the company.
When Tom came home, he planned to confront Parker about his whereabouts if he tried to sneak out again. Everyone retired, you went to sleep first and Rosie went to her room. Parker said, he was going to bed but Tom could see right through him.
Tom was sitting in the den, sipping a glass of watered down whiskey. Waiting for his son to disobey him. At 11:55 PM, Parker made his way downstairs ever so slightly. Only to be met with the dagger eyes of Tom.
“Where the fuck do you think you are going?” Tom asked as Parker tried to sneakily leave.
“I… I thought I heard noise outside and I’m going to go check on it,” Parker stammered. Getting caught by Tom was not part of the plan.
“Oh, ok. Parker the guards can do that. Go back to bed.” Tom said, turning back to the TV in the den, broadcasting Raiders of the Lost Ark.
“Ok. Night, dad,” Parker said, trudging himself back up the steps.
“Night…. I know, you’re lying,” Tom whispered loud enough for Parker to hear.
“What? I’m not lying.”
“Parker, I know you’ve sneaking out for weeks and bribing William.”
“Dad, I’m sorry,” Parker immediately started apologizing, no bother in trying to lie himself out of this one.
“Why have you been sneaking out?” Tom questioned, seething with anger but refusing to show it. Trying to have a mature adult conversation.
“I’ve been going to a girl’s house, her name is Jamie.”
“Oh, glad you find someone. You know after everything with Charlotte,” Tom replied.
“Well since I told you the truth, can I go? We made the plan a couple days ago and don’t want to cancel,” Parker lied.
“Alright, just be back before sunrise or your mother will have may head,” Tom informed him.
“Thanks dad, you should get some sleep,” Parker said, making his way out of the heavily guarded house.
Parker left as quickly as possible. He knew Wilson would be pissed for him being late. The talk with Tom was not how this was supposed to happen.
He couldn’t betray his family and himself anymore.
Parker hoped this was the last time he would have to talk to him. He planned to quit, after the conversation with Dom. Parker had become everything he hated, someone who kills for sport.
“Wilson, this is the last thing I’m doing then, I’m out,” Parker said, walking towards Wilson.
“We’ll talk about it later, my boy,” Wilson said, patting Parker’s shoulder.
“Alright who am I killing? You never gave me a target.” Parker shouted at Wilson walking.
“Oh, this isn’t a hit, it’s a robbery. Here’s your new firearm,” One of Wilson’s men explained, tossing a MP5K at him.
“You okay kid? You know if you’re too much of pussy the boss might understand,” jeered one of the men as Parker gulped at the size of the weapon.
“Fuck you, I’m fine. Let’s just get this over with,” Parker barked, trying to put his mind aside. He has never done anything like this. It wasn’t just one person he was killing, it was the possibility of having many causalities. Altering his persona from a hitman to a mass murderer.
A million thoughts flooded Parker’s mind. He wouldn’t be killing people who deserved it like before, contract killers or drug dealers, these were innocent people. Stupid people for gambling all their hard earned money away but nonetheless innocent.
Parker’s heart nearly stopped when he saw where the van pulled up to. A place he knew all too well, it was one of Tom’s casinos.
The company that Dom had built, but all the Holland boys sent thriving in the new century, was more than it seemed. Holland Exportation and Luxuries was much more than exporting goods.
It was casinos that ran all along the French Riviera, more specifically Monaco. It was hotels across the entire globe. It was a business but not the family one. More of a front for the mob but it paid the bills. Harry and Sam had been in charge of running and establishing the hotels and casinos across Europe.
“Y’know your way around, right? That’s why the boss put you on this.” One of men asked Parker as he fiddled with his new machine gun.
“I guess so.” Parker replied.
“Here’s a map. Where are the guards? Which posts?” Asked a soldier, pointing to the main entrance hallways, where security was sure to be.
“I don’t know.”
“So we’re going in there fucking blind? Fuck, thought you’d be good for something. Just stay out of our way,” yelled one of the capos.
“No. I’m taking point. If you have a problem, you can fucking talk to me about it along with my Glock,” Parker threatened.
“Alright. Don’t screw this up. The boss wants big bucks from this. Says “it’s step two in the fall of the empire.” Whatever the fuck that means.”
“On my count, 1, 2… 3,” Parker screamed.
They came storming in, barricading all the entrances and exits. Parker and Wilson’s men clad in all black and payday masks. All various colors and designs. They looked as they were trick or treating.
This was the last thing Parker wanted to be doing. He came today to quit and now he was robbing a casino.
Parker kept repeating a mantra in his head “Last one, then I’m done” as held his gun high. Pointing it directly at innocents, he could see them shaking in fear.
“EVERYONE ON THE GROUND NOW!” He shouted, aiming his machine gun high.
“Don’t you fucking touch that button. I know what it fucking does.” Parker barks at the person behind the token counter. “Open the vault.” Parker said, pointing the gun at him.
“Why should I?” remarked the worker.
“Cause I fucking said so and I’m threatening your life,” Parker explained
“Enough of this shit!” He screamed, firing a few rounds close to the worker but not hitting him.
“You don’t have to do this. You could walk out of here, all of you. And we could go on with our lives. No need for money or the cops.”
“I think we both know that’s not gonna happen. I’ll ask nicely, please open the vault,” Parker mocked.
“Boss said “start killing hostages in 10 minutes.” One of the other men whispered in Parker’s ear.
“Did you fucking hear that? We’re gonna fucking kill you if you don’t cooperate. So I suggest you open… the fucking… vault.”
“Sir, we can’t.”
“See this gun. LOOK AT IT! It has the power to put a bullet through your skull. Open the fucking vault. I won’t ask a fifth time.”
“That’s it. Now, type in the code.” Parker directed towards them.
The vault door creaked open, revealing trappings of pure wealth. Money stacked on tables, almost reaching the ceiling. And gold bars, glistened as the light reflected off of them.
“Now was that so fucking hard. Take all of it. Everything, even the gold.” Parker said, directly towards his men.
“Thank you, you’ve served you purpose,” Parker said to the worker, shooting him dead not even 3 seconds later. The screams of the other hostages echoed through the vacated room.
“Now to everyone here, there’s already one dead. I don’t mind making it more,” Parker barked.
“What’s your name?” Parker asked the nice looking girl kneeling on the ground.
“It’s not nice to not answer when someone asks you question, especially someone with a 9 caliber MP5K in your face. I ask again. What’s your name?” Parker spoke.
“Jane,” she whispered, shaking with fear.
“Well Jane, I want to thank you for your cooperation. You are in charge of talking to the cops, ok? And let your boss know, that Wilson is always watching,” Parker said, as he turned to leave.
“I will but you won’t get as far as you hoped,” Jane asserted, trying not to irritate Parker.
“And why’s that?”
“I know you. I remember you. You’d come in here with your dad.”
“You don’t know fucking shit!” Parker screamed.
“I know your name and that puts me at a high position of power,” Jane expressed, growing less afraid by the second. Realizing he is just some scared boy. Maybe not afraid of his own shadow but broken down by the fear of the world.
“I’m the one pressing fucking gun to your head. I HAVE ALL THE POWER!” Parker vociferated loud enough to shake the chandelier hanging above.
“You wish. Men like you always wish.”
“Seems like you’re doing some wishing yourself sweetheart. Wishing to be escorted out of here in a body bag. Now shut your fucking trap.”
“Hey. Let’s go. Leave her.” One of the Wilson’s men said, pulling Parker towards the exit.
“He still loves you and he’ll forgive you for this,” Jane shouted as Parker left.
Refusing to turn back, he had taken enough lives from this ill attempt at revenge. Parker didn’t know who he was fighting against anymore. Who was the hero and who was the villain?
All the wrongdoings as vast as the sea. All his attempts to make someone pay were misconstrued. Who actually deserved it?
The words of the woman replayed in Parker’s head. She was like a broken record, forcing him to listen to a truth he hoped to forget. How could Tom forgive him? Parker knew what he done was unforgivable. It was a mistake, all of it.
Parker marched into Wilson’s office and said, “Ever since I started working for you, my family has been in danger. I thought my dad was the reason for my girlfriends death, but I was wrong. I guess I’ll never know. Here Wilson, my gun. I quit.”
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? I own you. I could end you, boy. Just like I almost did your parents,” Wilson barked.
“What?” Parker questioned, a look of confusion are on his face.
“Oh, please. You really think it was just a malfunction,” Wilson scoffed.
“What are you talking about?” Parker asked.
“Their helicopter. Pretty brilliant work, if I do say so myself,” Wilson gloated.
“They almost died.”
“Yeah and so? Your dad is my enemy. That is the whole reason you came to me in the first place.”
“You promised you wouldn’t hurt them,” Parker screamed.
“Promises are meant to be broken. They don’t call me the Merchant of Death for nothing.”
Wilson was ready for the fight and been the one pulling the strings the entire time. Tom warranted no quarrel. Never being the instigator in a fight with Wilson.
They had been divided for years to come, focusing on their separate mobs. Only acknowledging each other if they accidentally crossed paths. There was Wilson’s mob, then a few others scattered round London such as Graham’s which was almost non-existent and Shaw’s which was mostly the drug scene. But Wilson was Tom’s biggest competitor. Being a part of then game for years before didn’t matter, Tom eclipsed Wilson just like the sun does the moon.
Or the moon to the sun, that was exactly Wilson’s play from the start. Taking out the pillars of Tom’s life. First a reason to have his son turn on him, the death of a loved one. Next, removing you from Tom’s grasp. Eventually a play had to be made on Rosie. Leaving Tom utterly alone.
Only thoughts that would cross his mind be suicidal ones, having lost everything he ever cared about. It was a long play, one Wilson vowed to see through. Wilson saw all his work as justice and merciful. Almost biblical, they way everything was playing out.
“It was you. All along. The fucking puppet master,” Parker mumbled under his breath.
“If you are talking about your little girlfriend, that was strictly business, nothing personal. But yes, I have been the one behind the scenes driving your father mad. Remember the note?” Wilson exclaimed.
“She didn’t deserve to die,” Parker shouted.
“What? Are you really upset? That was ages ago. Plus, I had to get you on my side somehow,” Wilson teased.
“Wait, you knew I’d come here?”
“Parker, how stupid are you? When will you grow up and learn this rivalry is just the beginning of a war. What side are you going to be on? You have a choice. I’ve warmed to you and I want you on my side as I take your daddy down.”
“That’s your first fucking mistake don’t have any weaknesses,” Parker admitted, taking a lesson from Tom. He drew is gun, point blank at Wilson.
“Parker, what are you doing? Put the gun down,” Wilson pleaded for his life.
“No, you made me into a cold blooded killer. Not my dad. I quit.”
After a loud thud sounded, the room was silent. Only a faint smell of smoke from the gun was there as Parker fled as quickly as possible.
Parker made his way home that night a changed man. All his kills in the pass were strictly business. Never driven by emotion but this one was personal.
It wasn’t a job or a hit. He was no longer a contract killer. Killing for the sake of money or an obligation. He was cold blooded killer.
In some twisted way, Parker enjoyed Wilson and his company. Looking up to him. He was then one who saved him from the horrible life he thought he was leaving behind. The one full of deceit and betrayal. The one with Tom, you and Rosie.
The one that led him to be next leader of the Holland mob. The one that resulted in the death of his beloved girlfriend. The one that had almost taken you and Tom away from him. The one that almost took his life. The one that forced him to kill for sport.
But no, he was wrong Parker brought that on himself. Parker’s naivety was his greatest enemy. He was just a child not too long ago. Once afraid of his own shadow, then afraid of failing at life and school, especially the SATs. Now, he was an adult burdened by problems a 16 year old should ever face. He could sit there and blame Tom, but it would do him no good when all he had to do was look in the mirror.
Parker was his own worst enemy. Searching for justice, when none could be found in a world wear mobsters roamed. Causing shootouts, robbing banks, and killing innocent people. People deserved to be avenged and Parker sure as hell wasn’t doing anything to aide.
Parker drove home, took four showers and threw his clothes away. Anything to wash off this abhorrent day. The next morning, Parker went on like nothing had changed. As if he didn’t shoot his boss and Tom’s rival in cold blood. As if didn’t only see himself as a cold blooded killer. Everything that he is and everything he owns soiled with the scent of murder.
He played it as though it was any other morning. Eating his pancakes and bacon before starting the day. Telling you about his plans for the day. Trying to keep his cool. The lovely morning breakfast conversation was interrupted once Tom’s phone rang.
RING, RING, RING
“Haz, why are you calling me? I’m having breakfast with my family,” Tom asked, annoyed his precious breakfast was interrupted.
“Charlie is here, you need to get here. I have to tell you something,” Haz informed Tom.
“Ok, I’m on my way,” Tom said, brushing off the request. Why would the
company’s electrical engineer for aeronautical transportation be there?
“Love, I’m so sorry but I’m needed at the warehouse. Thank you for this wonderful breakfast, wish I could enjoy it. Bye, kids. Have a good day at school,” Tom said, making his way out the door. Bidding you all goodbye.
“Haz, what’s was so urgent that I couldn’t finish my breakfast.” Tom barked, annoyed he was pulled away from you and the kids even on a Saturday.
“We were robbed last night. The casino.” Haz explained, his head hanging low.
“How the fuck? Did they catch them?” Tom seethed with anger.
“No, we do have eye witnesses though.”
“How much is missing?”
“About 11 million dollars, from cash to gold bars.” Haz said, waiting for Tom to explode.
“FUCK. We need to make them pay. I’m done playing fucking games.” Tom shouted, calming himself down for his meeting with Charlie.
“Now, you said Charlie was here, right?”
“Yeah, in your office.”
“Charlie? What are you doing here?” Tom asked, a little annoyed he was taken away from his morning with his family.
“Tom, I ran my report and did diagnostics tests and it’s not good,” Charlie started.
“What the fuck does that mean, Charlie?” Tom yelled.
“I think the helicopter was sabotaged.”
“What? You mean is that someone tried to take out my wife and I while we were on a helicopter,” Tom repeated, making all the connections necessary .
“Yes, it wasn’t just a normal malfunction. Did they ever find the pilot?” Charlie asked.
“No… Jesus fucking christ, if it’s true then…Fuck, I’m sorry I have to go,” Tom yelled, running out to the car.
“Jared, home now.”
“Mr. Holland is everything alright?” Jared asked, concerned by Tom’s frantic manner.
“No. I just found out the helicopter was sabotaged. I think someone might being trying to take out Y/N and I.”
“Come on baby, pick up,” Tom whispered, frantically dialing your number over and over.
“Y/N answer the god damm phone!” Tom shouted, when heard the same voice message over and over again, “Hi, this Y/N Holland please leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
“God fucking dammit. Fuck, voicemail. Jared do you know where my wife is?” Tom yelled, afraid what your silence meant.
“Last I heard she was at the store getting groceries,” Jared explained.
“Fuck, I have here location on my phone. Change course,” Tom barked, praying you were okay. With the information he just learned he didn’t want to leave you alone, not even for a second.
“Y/N! You’re okay.” Tom said, inhaling a breath of relief. You were coming out of the store pushing a cart of groceries.
“Tom! Of course, I’m okay. What are you doing here?” You asked.
“I’ll explain later. Get Parker and Rosie we need to go home now.”
“They’re already home. Henry’s there also. You’re scaring me.” You said, Tom never acts like this.
Being a part of a mob there is a constant fear of someone behind you. All throughout Tom’s life he only had to worry about himself until he met you.
Tom’s worst fear is him being the reason you no longer walk the earth. The last week he had glimpse of life without you and didn’t care for it one bit. You weren’t a weakness but at the same time, you were. For anyone with a dangerous job there’s always a target on your back.
“Come on, love. In the car,” Tom motioned towards the car.
“Tommy, my car is here. I’ll meet you there,” you said, kissing his cheek goodbye.
“Ok just be careful please.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Ok, Jared. Home now plea—“ Tom directed but was cut off by a loud BOOM.
“Jared, what the fuck was that?” Tom asked.
“Sir, it was Mrs. Holland’s car.”
“Y/N! Y/N?” Tom jumped out of the car. Nothing else mattered in that moment, only finding you.
Time stood still as thick black smoke bled through the air. Coating everything in its path with a faint ash. Screams echoed from the bystanders as the car went up in flames.
“Tom, I’m okay. It wasn’t mine.” You exasperated, coughing from the smoke. It wasn’t your car but it was close in proximity.
“Thank god. I can’t keep almost losing you,” Tom whispered, kissing you hairline.
“I’m here now.” The second you were in his arms you knew you were safe.
“Yes you are. It sure does look hell a lot like yours, though. Come on, I’m taking you home,” Tom said, wrapping his right arm around your shoulder.
Pulling up to the manor, everything looked different. There were more guards posted at every corner with heavier weaponry. Tom had the gate barricaded with another car in case some where to ram into the gate.
“Jesus, what took you so long?” Haz said
“They tried to bomb Y/N’s car. Thankfully the dumb fucks who planted it, picked the wrong car.”
“Tom you need to tell me what’s going on.”
“I will. Family meeting in the living room. Now.”
“Some of us have some secrets to share. I want to know everything that happened here while your mother and I were in Paris. Someone start talking,” Tom said, pacing in front of Parker and Rosie sitting on the couch.
Rosie and Parker were both hiding something. Rosie’s however was a rather monumental milestone. Rosie reminisced of her wonderful night with Henry while you and Tom were away. She loved Henry so much and was overjoyed to share that experience with him.
Rosie had told Henry at the wedding that she was ready to take that next step with him. Seeing you and Tom re-commit yourselves to one another affirmed that for Rosie. That she loved him more than anything.
“I’m sorry, dad. You don’t have to worry, we were safe,” Rosie blurted out.
“What?” Tom barked growing more anger by the second.
“Henry and I used a condom,” Rosie responded.
“Rosie?” You questioned, knowing what she was talking about.
“WHAT?” Tom screamed.
“That’s not what you were hinting at?” Rosie stammered.
“No, this is about Parker,” Tom reckoned.
“Fuck,” she mumbled under her breath.
“Where the fuck is he?” Tom yelled, bolting out of the living room. Looking for the boy who had stolen Rosie’s innocence. You and Rosie soon followed hoping Tom wouldn’t do anything rash.
“Henry, you bastard! You fucked my daughter!” Tom shouted charging at Henry.
“Oh shit,” Henry muttered, he knew Tom could kill him in an instant.
“You went in my daughter! What’s stopping me from killing you right now.” Tom asked with gritted teeth, hoping this dumbass wouldn’t answer.
“Tom, put him down,” you said, as Tom was gripping his collar and dangling him in the air.
“Tom, please,” you pleaded as Tom held a gun square to Henry’s head.
“The safety is on, I was never gonna shoot him. Just make him shit his pants a little. From now on, you two can’t be here alone. And if you are in your room the door needs to stay open,” Tom said, pointing fingers at Rosie and Henry.
“I believe we have more important business to get to. Now come on,” you said, pulling Tom away.
“Y/N, you know I was never going to actually hurt the boy right?”
“Yes, Tommy. Now please resume the family meeting.”
“Parker. Do you have something to tell us?” Tom asked, knowing his son will lie.
“I’ve been sneaking out at night and I’m sorry,” Parker started, you could hear the disappointment behind his voice.
“Why? I know it’s not because of a girl. I want to know everything,” Tom explained, fucking tired of all the lies.
Parker began by explaining how he felt by the loss of Charlotte and how he turned to Wilson. In Parker’s mind he was doing the right thing. Serving justice to those who wronged others. But in reality he was the one committing the wrongdoings.
Parker came clean that he was the one killing all of Tom’s men and that he killed Jazz. That he went Wilson before coming to Tom. Becoming Wilson’s secret hitman was never supposed to go this far. He only intended for it to be a big fuck you to Tom. Not destroy his livelihood and his family in the process.
Including all the details of Wilson’s secret agenda of taking you and Tom out. But Parker left out the fact that Wilson was no longer a threat. Having taken care of him the day before.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve never been this naive and stupid. I’m the one you’ve been searching for. I’m the rat,” Parker exclaimed. “Dad, say something,” he pleaded.
“Get out,” Tom said with an unchanging expression.
“I said get the fuck out!”
“Tom,” you tried to reason.
“You are no longer my son. Betraying me, betraying your family. Get out.” Tom screamed.
A/n: I’m sorry. I like the content in this chapter but not the writing.