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#Bruce Wayne's adopted children
cloakedsparrow · 2 months
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Clark calls the Batcave.
Jason: Hello?
Clark: Robin? It's Superman.
Jason: Yeah, you were ID'd before I even answered. What's up?
Clark: Uh, I stopped at a store after flying back into town and bumped into someone from work. We walked out together, so I had to pretend my car was stolen, but it's still at my apartment building. I wanted to know if Batman had any ideas for a cover.
Jason: Oh, no worries. I got you.
Clark: What do you mean?
Jason: I'll take care of it.
Clark: Oh...kay. Thank you, Robin.
Jason: No sweat!
Later, Clark discovers his car truly is missing. It's found with the tires, stereo, and catalytic converter removed, the wiring stripped, and the hood ornament knocked off. The police tell him that, sadly, this sort of thing has been happening more and more, even in their fine city.
Clark calls again.
Jason: Hey! Did everything work out with your car story?
Clark: Yes, thank you, Jason.
Jason: Great! Swing by later and I'll give you your cut.
Clark: You mean the missing parts of my car?
Jason: What? No. That shit's serial numbered. The cops would think you were pulling an insurance scam or somethin' if you put it back and anyone noticed. I sold the parts to a chop shop here.
Clark: You sold-?
Jason: Don't worry, my guy ain't a snitch. Your secret's safe!
Clark: ...Thanks.
Jason: No problem. I had to tell him you needed the car disappeared 'cause you were cheating on your old lady so he wouldn't think it was tied to something too bad, though.
Clark: I'll keep that in mind.
Jason: Oh, hey, B's here. You wanna talk to him?
Clark: Yes, please.
Jason: Cool. Talk to you later!
Clark: Bye, Jason.
Bruce: Clark.
Clark: I take it you know what happened?
Bruce: Yes. You learned a valuable lesson, didn't you?
Clark: Next time, I will definitely ask how he intends to take care of it.
Bruce: Good. I don't want my son arrested because he was doing you a favor.
Clark: I had no idea he was going to strip my car and sell the parts to a chop shop!
Bruce: You know how I found him. You knew the risks.
Clark: ...
Bruce: And you're letting him keep your cut.
Clark: Of course.
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soulless-bex · 26 days
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talia secretly adopts all of bruce’s kids behind his back. dick? she got to know him shortly after he became nightwing and supported him through his debut. jason? she had more than enough time to adopt a parental role for him while he was still staying in nanda parbat. tim? she’s been corresponding with him since forever. she was so proud when he committed his first war crime too. steph saw her visiting one of the boys, recognized her and befriended her to spite bruce. duke sort of just assumed she was bruce’s wife after seeing the way the other kids act around her and never questioned it. she’s too scary for him to dare do that, and anyway, she’s pretty chill so he won’t complain. cass sees the whole thing unfold, and while i don’t think she’s talia’s biggest fan, i think she would find the whole thing funny anyway.
bruce never noticed. not until all of his kids had already fallen into the habit of calling her mom
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sheegons · 10 months
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Damian being really really autistic compilation
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bad at sarcasm and tone, can't tell jokes without having to explain that he's joking and being viewed as rude when he asks questions he thinks are normal
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getting an acting teacher so he could try acting less like himself (masking)
he's seen getting better at this with his appearance alongside Supergirl
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alfred saying damian gets fidgety when he gets a haircut and he has to tell a story to distract himself and stop himself from fidgeting
+ Damian info dumping to superman about a random islands history when the island was merely mentioned
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also him holding a fidget spinner
I rest my case
(i still have more evidence)
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psychokatrixxxy · 19 days
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So, I had this thought, and I find it unreasonably funny.
B takes in a kid that checks almost every box:
Black hair ✔️
Blue eyes ✔️
Ethnically ambiguous ✔️
Orphan ✔️
But, this child is a girl, breaking the usual pattern of B's kids. (Obviously, there are exceptions, but you get what I mean, the stereotype of B's kids. (Cass, Duke, Steph, etc, fans, please dont come for me. I have a wife and kids /j))
At first, they joke about how close she was to fitting the standard Robin mold.
Later, the kid comes out as trans, and when he does, the rest of the bats' kids slowly turn to B like, "You knew, how did you know?! Do you have some kind of bat-sense for these things?!"
Like this is so incredibly funny to me.
Bonus points if Alfred ACTUALLY knew.
Bonus bonus points if the kid was already super masc presenting, and Damian was under the assumption the entire time that everyone was aware the kid was a boy and didn't quite understand his siblings' jokes.
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ghostdoodlen · 1 year
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Bruce tries to get Marinette in his family.
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Overall, just choose your ship.
The last is a bonus drawing I think someone requested in discord.
Basically instead of choosing one of the bat kids, Marinette chooses Jon while Clark rubs it in Bruce's face.
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UPDATE:
This has turned into a superbat post
Courtesy of @smartlanceisreal (gonna have to shout you out again for the inspiration)
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They're now married. Jon is happy
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pixiatn · 1 year
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I feel like there should be more Camila Noceda/Bruce Wayneification fics of Inko Midoriya, no reason I just really like when a character adopts a large amount of traumatized children, i also hate when shes portrayed as an abuser. Like imma need more fics where inko adopts the villain kids in their pre villain era, maybe a young hawks. I'm tired of Dadzawa and Dadmight getting all the attention. Mamadoriya for the win💪🏽
Mom for all memes:
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What if Billy is exploring the Rock of Eternity and finds a powerful artifact that is able to hold creatures. He does some research and figures out the creature inside is a Beholder! (DnD)
Billy, being a goblin child, decides to use it as a Beholder grenade! (As a last resort!) The next big bad that wants to destroy the world, the Justice League comes together to fight them. Captain Marvel is somehow changed back into Billy Batson but instead of freaking out, he whips out the artifact and releases the monster to attack them!
Batman: A helpless child, I must save them!!!
Billy with the most evil smile throwing a literal monster grenade: ψ(`∇´)ψ
Batman:...
Batman: They will be my child.
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rarepears · 5 months
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The most dangerous world for Bruce Wayne to be thrown into is Game of Thrones.
Why?
Because there's too many Baratheon black hair blue eyed bastard children running around.
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Lily of the Valley
Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam
Summary: Jason Todd dies and comes back to life. As the League takes him in, he navigates his morality and family values over the years.
Chapters: 18/?
Characters: Jason Todd, Talia al Ghul, Ra’s al Ghul, Damian Wayne, Barbara Gordon, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Sheila Haywood
Relationships: Jason Todd/Original Character(s)
Additional Tags: Immortal Jason Todd, League of Assassins Jason Todd, Protective Talia al Ghul, Good Parent Talia al Ghul, Jason Todd Needs a Hug, Good Sibling Jason Todd, Hurt/Comfort, Adopted Children, Resurrected Jason Todd
Chapter Eighteen: Fool's Conecap
Ra’s provided Jason with the address. It was near his old apartment, but it was uncharacteristically modern compared to the run-down buildings in Park Row. A white picket fence surrounded the house. A painful feeling struck Jason in his chest once he realized where he was. A group home. Jason did everything he could to avoid group homes after his mother passed, and a dreadful fear passed over him as he approached the front door. A small boy with taped glasses answered the door. “Who are you?” the small boy questioned.
“How are they treating you here?” Jason asked. The small boy shrugged. “They’re beating you up, huh? I used to get beat up, too.”
“It’s not that bad… Three hot meals a day,” the small boy replied.
“Well, if you want something more than that…” Jason wrote down a number and slipped it into the boy’s cast. “There are ways out of your situation,” Jason suggested. “Now tell the one in charge I’m here for the file.”
The boy shut the door, and a woman answered shortly after. She handed him a thick file, but she didn’t let go. “Are you Jason?” the stern-faced woman asked. Jason studied her face, grimacing when he saw something he didn’t like. He didn’t trust her. “You look like him… Willis used to give me that same look when he was a boy.”
Jason snatched the file from her. “Keep a better eye on your boys. It’d be a shame if someone shut you down for child abuse,” Jason muttered.
“Good luck proving—.”
Jason stepped so close their noses nearly touched. “You’re right... I have awful luck. It’s more likely you’d have a horrible accident,” Jason threatened.
Jason wanted to kill her right there, but she knew his father… And that was worth looking into. “You’re welcome to try it, Shrimp,” the woman replied. Jason swallowed his anger before walking away.
The file was his assignment, and he didn’t have the time for side quests. He took the file, called a cab to the outskirts of Gotham, and hiked the rest of the way to the jet. To his surprise, Saru sat in a lawn chair outside the jet, silently reading. “What are you doing here?” Jason asked.
Saru smiled at him. “We haven’t gone on our date yet,” Saru smiled.
“I thought you said—.”
“I did… But I realized this is where you come from. I thought we could have an adventure of our own here. Ra’s said it’d be alright,” Saru replied. Jason felt a knot in his stomach. “Go put those files away… And then you can show me around.”
Jason started toward the jet, but something stopped him in his tracks. “I’m going to change first,” Jason replied. Saru nodded, waiting outside while Jason searched for something to wear. She distracted him from his disdain for the city. He hopped off the jet and scratched his head. “Sorry for the wait, Saru.”
Saru smiled and took his hand. Jason smiled. “I understand your feelings about Gotham… But I want to see your home. It’ll help me understand you,” Saru explained. Jason blinked hard as they hiked to the outskirts of the forest. While they walked, Jason described his interaction with the woman. But he withheld the parts about her knowing his father. “Want me to kill her?”
Jason laughed. “I mean it. I could easily kill her for you,” Saru offered.
“I know, but you don’t have to. I’ll handle the old witch when it’s time. Does Damian know you’re here?” Jason questioned. Saru swung his hand.
“Who do you think asked me to go? He worries. Damian doesn’t like that you go on missions alone,” Saru replied, “But don’t tell him I told you that.”
The car picked them up, and Jason immediately fell asleep. Saru chuckled gently. “How long have you kids been together?” the driver asked.
“Oh, um—. This is our first date,” Saru answered.
“Okay, nice. Is it looking good for him so far?” the driver smirked as he adjusted her rearview mirror.
Saru squinted. “We’ve been friends for a few months, so yeah. I’m sure we’re gonna go out again,” Saru replied. She stared out the window silently, ignoring the driver for the rest of the ride.
Jason’s eyes shot open once the car parked, and Saru leaned over. “Are we close to your home?” Saru asked.
Jason shook his head. “Let me take you somewhere better,” Jason whispered.
“What’s better than your home?” Saru questioned. Jason grinned as he took her across the street and cut through the park. “Jason, where are we going?”
“Remember when I told you about the perfect sandwich?” Jason asked. Saru nodded. She remembered everything Jason said to her. She squeezed his hand as he led her through the alley to a small sandwich shop crammed between two taller adjoining buildings. “This is the ‘U’.”
Saru smiled as she stood in line with Jason. She leaned close to his ear and whispered, “I’ll have what you’re having.”
Jason approached the register with rosy cheeks and a sweet smile. Jason ordered the spicy garden burgers with extra sauce and crinkle-cut fries. “I remembered you don’t eat meat. I’ve had every burger on their menu. This one’s one of my favorites,” Jason paused. He wanted to make sure she was interested. “I didn’t get to go last time I was in Gotham, but I’m glad I’m here with you now.”
Saru pressed her forehead to his shoulder, and he squeezed her hand. “Thank you for taking me to your favorite place,” Saru smiled. Jason nodded.
“Thank you for coming with me,” Jason whispered, “Oh! Our sodas.”
They stood by the soda machine while Jason filled their sodas. The man at the counter called their order number several minutes later. They walked to the park with their two large bags and sodas, sitting beside each other on a bench. Saru neatly unwrapped her burger and took a bite. “Mm! Jason!” Saru shouted. Jason smiled as he bit into his and shut his eyes. They took a second bite, and Saru wiped the corner of his mouth with her thumb. Jason finished chewing and swallowed hard. Saru leaned in, and Jason met her halfway, pausing when their noses touched.
“I haven’t ever—.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Saru whispered. And then Saru kissed him. Jason pulled back, startled at first. “Is this too much?”
“No,” Jason whispered, “I—. Could I kiss you again?”
“I’d like that,” Saru smiled as they touched noses.
Jason giggled as their lips touched, and Jason’s parted as he whispered a warmly sincere, “Wow.”
Saru pecked his lips, nose, and both cheeks. “Our burgers are going to get cold,” Saru chuckled. Jason nodded, and they ate together. “This is delicious.”
“Are we on a date?” Jason asked.
“Yes,” Saru answered.
Jason’s face was red hot as he ate his burger, but Saru didn’t mention it. She didn’t want to embarrass him. “I like that your hair is long… You noticed mine, but I never mentioned how much I loved yours,” Saru grinned.
“Thank you, I like your hair that way… Whenever I see your ribbons, I feel like—. That’s you. That’s how I picture you,” Jason replied. Saru sipped her soda to hide her smile. “Was that a strange thing to say? Saru, I probably—.”
“You’re fine. It’s honest and sweet. That’s why I like you,” Saru replied.
“I should be honest with you about why I’m stalling,” Jason paused, “Shouldn’t I?”
“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to,” Saru replied. And she meant it.
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ghost-bxrd · 23 days
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knowing my 5’1.5 foot 24 year old self if I walked alone in Gotham without my parents I’d be adopted so fast by Bruce who would mistake me as a child 😂
I mean—- at which point does one stop being adoptable? ✨👀
So, Congrats! In a Gotham verse you would now be a new member of the Wayne family. They don’t have the best track record of keeping each other alive tho, so good luck 😭 (I recommend hiring deathstroke to take care of joker first thing while you’re at it tho)
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cloakedsparrow · 9 months
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Tim: ...so that's how I ended up in Bludhaven with a fake uncle.
Jason: ...
Tim: What?
Jason: Let me make sure I'm understanding this correctly before I respond. Your dad was murdered. Your stepmom, who never adopted you, was in a mental hospital. Dick was awol. Cass was still basically a baby as well and was finding herself. B was avoiding you because he felt guilty about getting your dad murdered.
Tim: He didn't-
Jason *speaking over him forcefully*: Then you dropped out of school, so no one could possibly miss you while you lived with a man who was a complete stranger to you and who knew you had money and no adults worth a damn in your life.
Jason *takes deep breath*: Why the fuck would you do that?!
Tim: Well, at first I wasn't sure what was going to happen to me and Batman needs Robin, but we also both needed some space to grieve. I had to make sure I was still available to Bruce while also leaving us some breathing room. Plus, Dick was out of town, so Bludhaven needed a vigilante anyway.
Jason: Okay, ignoring the twenty other things wrong with that statement, did it never occur to you that Bruce could just adopt you?
Tim: Well, Yeah. But he'd just adopted Dick, which was a really big deal for him, emotionally, you know? I was worried he'd feel bad if Bruce turned around and adopted me.
Jason: You were worried Dick would feel bad if Bruce adopted you when you had literally no one else?
Tim: Yeah. I was used to being alone anyway and you know how he can get when it comes to Bruce.
Jason: So you decided to move in with a strange man who was down on his luck and might, oh, I don't know, murder the weird, wealthy child whose bank account he had access to?!
Tim: I paid him. I never gave him direct access to my bank account.
Jason: Oh, well that makes everything fine then. He'd just have to force you to hand over more cash. Or hold you hostage against Bruce. Or blackmail you to keep you as his baby sugar daddy.
Tim: I set up everything about his fake identity so he couldn't try to blackmail me without looking really sketchy himself and he never knew about Robin, so what would he blackmail me with anyway?
Jason: How about telling Bruce what you did, since the charade was obviously mostly for him?
Tim: Then he'd risk losing everything while I moved in with Bruce. Nothing he could do against me would gain him anything, so what was the worst that could happen?
Jason: He could have murdered you in your sleep! He could've jumped you while you were vulnerable! He could've threaten to report you to a truancy officer if you didn't do something he wanted! He could've drugged you and sold you to traffickers! Fuck, I don't want to keep thinking about all the horrible things that could've happened to your idiotic baby past self. So let me just reiterate the important question: What the fuck were you thinking?!
Tim: Why does every funny story I tell you end up with you freaking out and yelling at me?
Jason: Because every story you think is a funny childhood anecdote is actually a fucking terrifying misadventure that you just somehow survived!
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littlefankingdom · 3 months
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Bruce: Alfred, you know what would fix me? Beating the shit out of people at night, dressed in a bat costume.
~
Bruce: Alfred, you know what would fix me? Adopting this orphan who saw his parents die in from of him, just like me.
~
Bruce: Alfred, you know what would fix me? Adopting more children.
~
Bruce: Alfred, you know what would fix me? I-
Alfred: Sir, maybe it's time to consider therapy instead.
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Sunday Brunch has a few unexpected participants
@batfamilyweek
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silverwolf1249 · 1 year
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i've seen vampire bruce stories, and i've seen bruce is not actually a vampire but everyone else thinks he is stories, and now i'm just thinking a human bruce with his very batty(Iliterally) vampire children hanging around under his cape like adorable little terrifying shadow creatures whose eyes glow in the dark
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greenapplebling · 1 year
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About my Normal Batkids AU
I was thinking how Bruce would get his children and I came to the conclusion that:
It's better if I keep Dick's origins as they are, except a few changes like Batman immediately catching John and Mary's murderer so Dick didn't really had the opportunity to "want revenge", ofc since he didn't help with that Bruce will have to deal with all his misplaced anger and yadda yadda
Anyways, a year after adopting Dick (officially adopted) Bruce sees a note on the news about a mother dying after the birth of her child and the father getting arrested, so guess who adopted a baby? Yes, meet Jason Wayne (I don't think it makes sense to keep his bio-dad's last name since he's getting adopted as a newborn but Bruce kept the name his mom gave him as her last and only gift)
6 months after adopting Jason, Bruce is talking with Talia and she comments about a toddler getting orphaned recently among the League. Bruce asks if he can adopt her. Meet 6yo Cassandra Wayne
So to recount, Bruce now has a 10yo Dick, a 6yo Cass and 6m old Jason
5 years later, the neighbors, Janet and Jack Drake, die on an accident during a plane trip for work, leaving their 2yo son orphaned with no family to go to. Guess who gets adopted by their friendly neighbor? That's right, meet Tim Drake-Wayne
Other 5 years later, Talia gets pregnant but they decide to not stay together so they start discussing custody. In the end, Talia gets full custody while Bruce gets visitations until the baby is 3yo and then they switch hoping that their son won't be turn into a child soldier by Ra's. Talia visits for the holidays, summer and winter vacation and stays in charge whenever Bruce has to travel for long periods of time (either for work or Batman related). Meet Damian Wayne
So Bruce ends up with 5 (official) children: 23yo Dick, 19yo Cass, 13yo Jason, 10yo Tim and 3yo Damian
Sometime in the future I'll make a post about Bruce's unofficial children :)
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stupid-profoundness · 11 months
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I was stupid and unassuming yesterday. And now I know literally everything about the Wayne family.
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