#And it made the story a lot better for ke

[smugraccoon137]

Fun fact when we played through kh2 and got to the 100 acre woods world I sobbed so hard my bf had to stop playing. Cus if you don't know Pooh bear forgets who Sora is. Like he forgets everyone. And we help him remember everyone but us until the very end. And then THEN. My buddy. My pal. My best friend Pooh bear remembers us. And I died of happiness and sadness.

#No shame #Like there's something to be said about the suspension of belief #You have to have it to enjoy these games I think #To stop looking at the worlds as Disney worlds #And more as their own individual stories and characters #I enjoyed birth by sleep a lot because it was a lot easier for me to see the classic princesses as old germanic tales #Instead if Disney princesses #And it made the story a lot better for ke #But my point is! #winnie the pooh #He's my friend #No matter what #So even in a game with final fantasy characters and mickey fucking mouse running around with an anime sword #Pooh bear will always be my friend and I will always take him seriously #I was taken out of a game and into a story #And it WRECKED MY ASSSSS #so yeah I cried a whole bunch #But it was good because it reminded me of the softness of my heart #That even as an adult one of my oldest childhood memories and friends is still in my heart #kdh #kh #kh2 #pooh bear #video games #story thoughts #Kh playthrough #Video game playthrough #smugraccoon talk #text post #text

[lains-reality]

hello! i rlly love your blog and the way you explain things

how do i just apply? whenever i do i stress that i’m doing it wrong because i feel overwhelmed by the amount of info and things i have to make sure i’m doing right then i spiral and over consume again. i don’t want to rely on tumblr anymore.

what’s the simplest way to apply all of this and just “manifest” (i don’t rlly like this word bc it implies there’s a process or that i’m trying to get) my dream life? thank you

hi! ty!

it takes some courage! i also read a lot as a way to feel secure, but eventually i just got tired and just decided 'i have no more fears from this day on! done with this!' and i made it a practise to stop avoiding myself whenever something comes up

its all very natural, i can't say how you'll just finally decide that your over this lol

"whenever i do i stress that i’m doing it wrong because i feel overwhelmed by the amount of info"

well, learn how to stop yourself in the moment. you're putting too much pressure on your character! it only know what it knows now, it will not accept anything outside of what it already knows! thats why you leave it alone. read all you want to read, but stop when you feel like you have to. like you must. let yourself relax.

"i don’t want to rely on tumblr anymore."

good! keep going!

"what’s the simplest way to apply all of this"

just do it. try it and see. something that is a recurent theme in all the posts and book i read, is to try it. experiment. just for this one moment, let all the worries go. promise to never make problems for yourself again. you've given up troubles now, no more. just test it and see. surrender. let the mind cry and scream, for this moment, you won't allow it to deter you from freedom.

i'll give a list of stuff that helped me

theres only now -> stop bringing the past to now, learn to sit in the present moment

stop avoiding emotions, sit with the fear, discomfort etc

you already are Self! nothing can undo that!

be patient

non attachment (or detachment)

experiment - take something you already know and test it

question everything

find out what are the stories you want, what the desire will supposedly give you

it is not necessary to get rid of thoughts or images just stop deriving identity from them

"am i arguing for my limitations?"

soon more lovely thoughts and images will appear in your awareness and you can choose what you want

can you outgrow it? not you. observe it? not you. in the absense of it, you don't dissapear? not you.

be okay with not having it. get to a place where no one and no thing can disturb you (and your happiness and peace)

just see how absurd all this shit is. like i was born? what was it like before i was born? why is it normal to hear your voice in your head? no one knows what tomorrow is but we all worry abt it, where tf does the voice in your head come from? how can we actually identify feelings, what if the feeling pride isn't actually pride and you've been lied to? do you know how crazy this is for an infant?! we say we are an [x] person and that changes and so we say we are an [y] person, so who are we?? if we can change like that? being a human is confusing, seek the truth out and question all

just start to disidentify as the body-mind. when you disidentify as the body-mind you'll start to feel better as all the pressure you put on your character falls away. this will intice you to keep going as you feel freer!

have fun!! go and live life!! appriciate what you have now - this is all expressing the character, omnipr3sence, perfectly! you'll start to see "i barely thought abt x 2 days ago and now i see it here lol" "i was worrying about y and now i see it here too" "oh so this comes along with being the character too, maybe i should change that story"

you're in your own dream, see it as your dream and you'll start seeing the connections.

no need to convince the character, just move on. let yourself doubt this 'reality'

disclaimer: i'm still learning too! so please keep practising and have your own epiphanies!

reading

habit

no need to convince

behaviour

#lainsmail #to the other anon who wanted to start applying: here u are

[spockandawe]

Binderary! I already spoiled how this went last night, but now let's review how it went with slightly nicer words and slightly nicer pictures. And, as a special treat at the end, I even have a spreadsheet.

Last winter, I expressed a vague desire to do a speed test, and see if I could sustain a pace of a book per day for an entire month. Text harvesting, typesetting, everything. This was at the stage where backing books was a terrifying leap of faith rather than a mildly tedious chore, and I'd never tried leather. I had a cricut, but had been too nervous to use it yet. And I did it! In fact, in pursuit of nice round numbers, I hit 30! I didn't realize, but the month wrapped right around my one year anniversary of starting bookbinding, and those projects landed me somewhere in the 130s of total books bound (my tracking spreadsheet has gaps and also needs a revamp).

This year, I had progressed a lot. I had gotten much more ambitious with my projects and was a MUCH better typesetter. I was confident I could hit exceed thirty, so instead I thought I would see how quickly I could do it. This was a fantastic plan, because work had me so exhausted and strung out that I accidentally started february a day early. Doing great. I pushed on so I wouldn't get an artificial rest and set my deadline at the 27th. Then.... in 13 days I hit 28, and all it took was one joking poke, asking if I thought I could average two books per day. It sank in. My brain ADORES ridiculous artificial conditions. I just Had to do it. I was emotionally invested. Anyways! I'm flirting with genuine burnout, but I DID IT, BABY. Last night I hit sixty!

SIXTY BOOKS! Five in leather! One in denim! One in velvet! Two edge marbled! One over a thousand pages! Three cnovels! All but one book cover done with my existing stash of paper, fabric, and leather! That one exception was tian ya ke where I knew which fabric I wanted, and I had precut pieces in my stash, but I wanted to fussy cut alignment on the fabric so I went out to buy more, hahaha

I did ease up my initial self-imposed rules a little, just because like forty books in, the concept of STORIES stopped meaning anything. I went hilariousuly numb. It's like semantic satiation, but for a concept. Stories? Never heard of em in my life. So when fics has multiple authors I wanted to gift them to, I made multiples and each counted as a separate book. Other books here were anthologies of a couple dozen stories, counted as one book. So I didn't stress it. I am legit more burned out than I wanted to be, I wasn't going to find EXTRA unnecessary reasons to push and make it worse. This was a fantastic achievement, and I'm really so proud of myself right now. My last svsss was book 201, and these are 202-261. This is just under a quarter of the books I've ever bound. I am EXTREMELY proud of this.

Now for dessert. SPREADSHEET. I'm redacting all the books and authors, because some of these are gifts and if i do decide to fully spoil the surprise, I'm at least going to do it with individual glamour shots. For now, this is what we've got. Please note the right three columns, where I tracked the total numbers of stories, words, and pages in here. Mistakenly saving the villain (part two) is the one that counts as 0 stories because it's split across two volumes, but everything else should make sense, I think. I did PRETTY DARN GOOD

#crafts #bookbinding #binderary #binderary2023 #i was going to start with glamour shots but then it got very overcast and rainy alas

[changingplumbob]

York Household: Chapter 9, Part 4

Time for a York family brunch!

The Yorks are Italian so if you see them using words that don't look like English it's Italian, or what google assures me is Italian. Caro/Cara: Dear Buongiorno: Good morning Piccolo: Little one Tesoro: Treasure Nonno: Grandfather Nonna: Grandmother Si: Yes Grazie: Thank you Per Favore: Please Buon Compleanno: Happy Birthday

Paris has been watching some kids TV in the apartment she shares with Deanna but, eventually getting bored, starts playing with an infant toy she found in Kelly’s toybox. Perks of being a childish sim.

Deanna: I’m done!

Paris: You are?

Deanna: Well 3 out of 4 lots of homework but I’m to tired to do more

Paris: You can always do it tomorrow

Deanna: And how about you? Can I do you tonight?

Paris: *coyly* If you want

Deanna: I do want

Aaron: Think we can woohoo without a kid barging in saying Kelly made them cry

Calista: I think the kids he hangs out with are tougher than that

After the pair are satisfied Calista cuddles up beside Aaron as he plays with her hair.

Calista: Por favore, can you be in good Nonno mode for brunch

Aaron: What do you mean

Calista: No telling Rilian he’s coddled or Alfred that he's the better twin. They’re speaking now, they can catch on

Aaron: *sighs* Rilian cries at the drop of a hat

Calista pinches Aaron.

Aaron: Fine, fine! I’ll try keep my annoyance to a minimum

At long last the whole house slumbers.

Devin: Buongiorno pa

Aaron: Cara, you’re here

Devin: Forget fashionable late I’d far rather be fashionably early

Deanna: Shh! They’re sleeping

Devin: Why is the lounge full of sleeping kids at almost 11am

Aaron: I think Kelly kept them up late with his spooky stories. We should probably get them up before brunch starts though

Devin: Yep. I don’t need any kid stealing all of ma’s omelettes

The family arrive for brunch and while Calista gets the last of Kelly’s guests on their way Aaron puts the toddlers in the high chairs.

Aaron: Here we have some omelettes cooked by your nonna, just for you

Alfred: For me

Devin: Si. Make sure you eat it before it gets cold

Alfred: No eat. Talk mama

Devin: Rilian, will you please eat

Rilian: It poison?

Calista: I don’t know what your cheeky Zio Kelly told you, but I would never give you poison. I promise, I made this with love and it tastes very good

Devin takes time to encourage Rilian to eat, he’s a picky eater, but eventually he starts to nibble on the omelette. His little face lights up and he begins to tuck in happily. Of course nonno Aaron is oblivious to this show of superior twin power as he’s over with the second generation of Yorks to eat.

Luna: How is the nectar garden going

Calista: We’re still waiting for the fruit to grow but-

Rilian: I DONE

Luna: *tuts* Rilian it is not good to interrupt. I am happy you finished your meal though

Alfred: This good nonna

Devin: What do we say

Alfred: Tank? Tank nonna

Calista: *smiles* at least he’s trying

Luna: We figure we’ll teach them grazie and danke after they know what thank you actually means

Aaron: How are you today Rilian? *looks at Calista deliberately*

Rilian: *smiles* I good good nonno. I eat up

Aaron: Oh? Molto bene

Rilian: *looks puzzled*

Devin: It’s Italian caro, you’ll learn in time

Rilian: Oh. Nonna can I out

Calista: Since you have finished eating sure

Joey: I see you also ate yours Alfred

Alfred: Yes Zio Joey *blows kiss*

Joey: aww, thanks piccolo

Freed from his chair Rilian toddles around and toddles right into Kelly.

Rilian: Zio Ke, Zio Ke! I eat up

Kelly: Did you now? How do you know it wasn’t poison

Rilian: *thinks* it taste good, mo bean (molto bene)

Kelly: That’s good news. You’ll have enough energy to survive then

Rilian: Huh

Kelly: See I was bitten last night and now I’m a MONSTER

Rilian: *jumps out of skin*

Rilian: *wailing*

Kelly: Shut up you’re fine

Rilian: *cries loudly* NONNO ZIO KE MEAN

Aaron: *sighs* Coming Rilian

Rilian: *sniffles and smiles at Kelly*

Kelly: Oh you little poop you're totally acting

Aaron: What’s going on over here then

Alfred: Up nonna up

Calista: Here I come. Uh oh, sounds like Rilian might be having some trouble

Alfred: I help, I snuggle

Calista: *hugging tightly* That’s right, you’re a snuggle bug aren’t you piccolo. All right, down we go

Alfred: I free, I free

…

Aaron: Kelly what did you do?

Kelly: He’s fine, he just smiled at me!

Rilian: *sniffles* Nonno Zio Ke scare *pouts*

Aaron: *sighs* You decided it was a good idea to scare a three year old?

Kelly: I said I was a monster and he overreacted

Aaron: Kelly he’s a toddler, of course monsters are scary

Rilian: *sniffles* Nonno I sad

Aaron: Don’t worry Rilian, we can find something fun. As for you Kelly, time out

Kelly: *sighs* nobody has a sense of humour in this family

Defeated he goes and sits. Alfred comes over and tries talking to him but like normal Kelly prefers to ignore his nephews. Meanwhile Aaron scoops Rilian up and plays with him until he’s calmed down properly.

So what do we reackon folks? I'm still not 100% certain what happened with Kelly and Rilian. Reminder to read the whole option before clicking (it's me, I only read half the sentence then realise I was too eager to click)

Previous ... Next

#sims 4 #the sims #the sims 4 #simblr #My Sims #ChangingPlumbobStorytime #R0901 #ParisPearl #DeannaYork #CalistaYork #AaronYork #DevinVillareal #RilianVillareal #AlfredVillareal #LunaVillareal #JoeyYork #KellyYork

[chemical-abscess]

I found you bc of MDZS a while ago and stayed bc of your beautiful artstyle. I had no idea TYK existed but your fanart does make me curious, mind if I ask why do you like it?

Thank you for your question! You asked about Tyk, but I'll also be talking about Qi Ye since Tyk is it's sequel.

To simplify, I tend to divide media I like in two categories: it's message driven story or character driven story.

The first one is like a book or movie that influenced you greatly but you never felt like illustrating it or searching for any additional fan content. The message is more important than characters translating it.

(For example, I really love "Perfect Blue" by Satoshi Kon, but for me it's not just Mima's story, but a process of a young woman figuring out her struggles and fears in general, everyone can be on Mima's place).

The second category, it's all about characters. They are the main attention and main driver of the story. I wouldn't really be interested in a story if it wasn't about That certain character I'm emotionally attached to.

Af for Qi Ye and Tian Ya Ke... It's a bit of both?

In these dilogy main characters are secondary characters of their own stories, which should've made them closer to being concepts carrying a certain message rather than being individuals. But that's not the case! They do have personalities! And I'm more than interested in them!

And the way characters themselves see more in each other is so poetic and romantic...

In tyk (and qi ye), if main characters didn't meet, they still would've been a part of bigger story, playing their roles and translating author's message. But they happened to meet by chance and become individuals to each other

Another catching thing about these novels is that a lot of moments are left unspoken. I probably would've liked to see them (the novels themselves are short), but imagining it myself is challenging in a good way.

The same actually goes for mdzs XD, my fav mdzs works are those that plays around evens that weren't shown in the novel.

Btw. the absence of certain scenes might even be for the better because it has a potential to make us closer to those characters who also haven't witnessed them

That's it ^⁠_⁠^

#y'all have no idea how much I wanted to say “well it's interesting” and move on #because expressing yourself with words is so difficult damn #if at least something here is understandable then I can die in peace #tyk #qi ye

[bulletinboard-writings]

4 F's of February

Feast: Lyrics

A lot of song lyrics from very romantic songs. And a lot of country music because... old southern values means a lot of food talk in the lifetime story... Anyway, enjoy and write responsibly.

"I keep on hopin' we'll get cake by the ocean." Cake by the Ocean by DNCE

"And a little bit of chicken fried." Chicken Fried by Darius Rucker

"Sugar, oh honey honey." Sugar Sugar by Dylan Delato

"All you gotta do is put a drink in my hand." Drink in my Hand by Eric Church

"Pour some sugar on me." Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard

"Tequila makes her clothes fall off." Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off by Joe Nichols

"Sugar pie, honey bunch." I Can't Help Myself by The Four Tops

"A caramel-colored sunset sky." Watching Airplanes by Gary Allan

"She's my cherry pie!" Cherry Pie by Warrant

"Big straw hat, banana drink." Key Lime Pie by Kenny Chesney

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts by Danny Kane

"Caramel kisses you send my way." Caramel Kisses by Faith Evans

"Have some chicken and some baked beans." That's What I Love About Sunday by Craig Morgan

"Sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth." Song of the South by Alabama

"Life is just a bowl of cherries." Cheeseburger in Paradise by Jimmy Buffet

"Made from the biggest watermelons on the vine." Watermelon Crawl by Tracy Byrd

"And I'm eating rice and pintos." Do You Want Fries With That? by Tim McGraw

"You be my glass of wine, I'll be your shot of whiskey." Honey Bee by Blake Shelton

"Watch my corn pop up in rows." Where the Green Grass Grows by Tim McGraw

"Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey." Rain is a Good Thing by Luke Bryan

"And he said, 'Honey, you oughta know." All-American Girl by Carrie Underwood

"Her ruby red lips was sippin' on sweet tea." Barefoot Blue Jean Night by Jake Owen

"What a field looks like full of corn and cotton." Take a Back Road by Rodney Atkins

"Just a spoon full of sugar make it better real quick." Stuck Like Glue by Sugarland

"Fallin' on deaf ears of corn." International Harvester by Craig Morgan

"Is a double shot of Crown." Bartender by Lady A

"For barbeques, tailgates, fairs and festivals." Red Solo Cup by Toby Keith

"You're as sweet as strawberry wine." Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton

And a few extra lyrics to swap out during the month.

"Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack." Tik Tok by Ke$ha

"Baby look like a candy." Candy by Mingo (feat. Chloe

"O my darling, sugar" Dear Ariaella by Blessed Branco

"Could you hand me some sugar?" Sugar by Way Too Fast Zombies

"I'm gonna pop your bubblegum heart." Bubblegum B*tch by Marina

Buy me a Kofi?

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing #fanfic prompt #writerscommunity #writing prompt #dialogue prompt #fic prompt #lyrics #lyric prompts #music prompts #4 f's of february

[aiyexayen]

j, h, and e for the fandom ask game!

😁

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

a lot of fandoms fit that bill, tbh. i find out most things through tumblr these days. two of my favourite introductions have been Love Between Fairy And Devil and Bad Buddy, both of which i have now watched multiple times and are among my favourite shows of all time.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

if this is asking what my favourite media medium is, then i have to say i don't have one. not even a bit. as long as it's a good story, a good piece of art, i will devour it in the way it is meant to be experienced and i will LIKE it.

i could never choose properly, because each medium has its strengths and its particulars, and notably, translating stories between mediums is very difficult to do 'accurately' because they were *crafted* with specific intention. and any story that takes to a new medium--even a very similar one--almost certainly becomes a new and different story, at least if the creators and adapters have any sense of storytelling and grasp of their medium of choice at all. (not that i'm throwing shade at any large studios currently on their nth live remake of their own animated movies, or any *other* large studio currently live-action rebooting a beloved animated classic into the worst thing ever. or anything like that.)

for example, i LOVE Word Of Honor/Shan He Ling. it's my favourite show, one of my favourite stories. but i have no interest in reading the novel Tian Ya Ke. not because i don't like reading, or because i think it's a worse story or the adaptation did it better or whatever, but because it's (validly) a fundamentally different story with different characters, and what i know of them doesn't really tempt me or resonate with me.

conversely, i have like, a whole LIST of favourite books, whose various adaptations i feel incredibly meh about. or video games whose stories i find just as compelling and immersive as any book! i wouldn't be properly me without any of them, and humanity wouldn't be humanity without such diversity either. good art can be found anywhere, including a random tumblr post (i've been brought to tears by a good tumblr post or three) and if i tried to ever choose and limit myself i would truly implode. 🥺

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

i have! a couple things.

Wish You Were Here is a silly immortals-in-modern-era oneshot about ye baiyi and wenzhou.

Ruined is an even sillier modern au mini-fic about zhang chengling and qin jiuxiao being dumbasses.

and No Thoughts (Except Of You) is my favourite, a post-canon-fix-it-era oneshot in which we tackle the ~most important~ unanswered question of Shan He Ling: that damn boat.

fandom ask game ask me things

#ask game #my answers

[beckwritesfiction]

Slow Ride - Chapter 1 

CHAPTER INDEX: X

Notes: This is the first time I've shared any of my fan fiction in around ten years. I've grown as a writer, but I wanted to do something just for fun. This follows Bob falling in love with a fellow Top Gun graduate, and Hangman getting a reality check and falling a woman unlike anyone he's ever been with before. I've taken some liberties with their back stories, but overall I think it's fairly accurate. There are some cliches in here for the fun of it. Why would Maverick have an assistant? Because it's convenient for my plot. But trust me, you'll love it. With this series, I promise a lot. Sometimes soft hangman. A well-written Bob. Anxiety representation.

Summary: Henrietta follows Maverick to his new assignment and meets an unsuspecting Hangman her first night in town.

Word Count: 2.8k

ARRIVAL: HENRIETTA

Henrietta had never considered herself adventurous.  Maybe that was why she was so on edge every time Maverick did something she knew wasn’t allowed.  If he was fired, she would be, too.  At least that was what she thought every time, but the worst that happened was a transfer.  The day Cain was ready to shut their operation down, she thought that was the day she would actually get fired.  

While they waited for Mav’s arrival, they knew he would find a way to not listen.  And they agreed they’d play dumb, otherwise they’d be in just as deep as him.  She, however, could not be dishonorably or honorably discharged.  She was just the person that fetched the papers and made the coffee.  But she didn’t like tension.  She wasn’t even sure she liked it when more than a few people were in a room at a time, let alone high-ranking officials and seasoned veterans.

Hen had been housebound for six months after what happened.  She had no confidence in being about to go into society again, and taking a walk with the man she called her uncle as a child seemed to be the only thing she looked forward to.  Online classes were hard, but they were better than none at all.  The idea that she could find a way to make money without needing to deal with everyday people was appealing.

“I’ve called you like ten times,” she said tensely when Mav dismounted his bike.  

“That’s the beauty of these things.  You can’t even feel the vibration of your telephone,” he said.

“No one calls it a telephone anymore.”  He began to walk, and she followed.  “If you want to run the test, you’ll have to do it fast.  Cain’s on his way.  He’s shutting it down.  Hondo’s about to brief you on it.”

“Shutting it down?” he echoed, perplexed.

Hen shrugged.  “I’m assuming we have the heads up so you can run it and say ‘oops’ when you come back down.  Because you will come back down, because you’re hitting mach ten and then, you know…coming back down.”

Mav looked over at her, giving her a firm nod.  “Just like all the other tests.”  When he assured her in times like this, there was this nagging feeling in the back of her mind.  He was confident, and confident people scared her because there was such a large margin for things to go terribly wrong.  How he knew every time he’d come back down, she had no idea.  Flying was something you could control until you couldn’t.  She of all people should know that. 

“I know you wanna be the guy that goes the fastest, but mach ten is fast.  It’s so fast.  Mach ten point one isn’t that much faster, and neither is ten point two.  So hit it, then come back down.  Please.  Don’t try to be Icarus.”  The team was heading toward them in the hangar, and this was her final plea. “Right now, you’re all I have left.”

“You won’t lose me over something like this,” he said, as though she should know it already.

“Anything can happen to an aircraft—”

Hondo and the team’s presence made her stop.  She wasn’t about to air out her trauma in front of a bunch of men.

Hen waited outside of Cain’s office for what felt like hours.  When Mav left, she gathered her things, closing her laptop and shoving it into her bag as she tried to keep up with him. “Good news, bad news?” she asked.  Her glasses were sliding down the bridge of her nose, so she pushed them up.

“Have you ever been a teacher’s assistant?” he inquired.

“I never got to that point before I dropped out.”

“Did you really drop out if you’re back in school?  Doing it on your laptop is just as good as doing it in a classroom.”

“I didn’t leave my house for six months,” she reminded him.

“Well, San Diego should be a nice change of scenery.  I’m going back to Top Gun.  We’ll leave in an hour.”

She let him go ahead of her, unsure if she’d be able to do it with him.  Top Gun was where it all started.  She wasn’t even sure if she would exist without it.  It was the best and worst thing that had ever happened to her.

After riding for hours, they were finally in San Diego.  He wanted to get some things settled and gave her the night off.  Knowing this was a joke, mostly because he didn’t pay her by the hour, and because he knew that he was the only person she knew in San Diego, he offered to let her make his lesson plans between studying.

What she didn’t expect was for him to take her to The Hard Deck, a bar that was crowded and loud.  Deciding it was best to give him a little privacy given his reunion with an old flame, she exiled herself to the corner.  The booth was comfortable enough, and she was able to spread out and study there.  She was there for nearly half an hour before she was snapped out of her intense focus.  The man that leaned on the corner of the table was looking at her like he expected something.  Then she realized he said something that she’d missed.

“I’m sorry?”

“I said, ‘I didn’t realize this was a college hangout.’”

He was tall, even leaning over, and his eyes were intense.  Confident.  Confidence wasn’t welcome in her world anymore.  Maverick was just about all she could take.

“Oh, yeah. I…don’t really have anywhere else to do this right now.  My uncle’s my ride, and he’s not ready to leave yet.”

There was a moment where she felt like she couldn’t breathe.  He was looking at her like he was searching for something, and she wasn’t sure there was anything for him to find.  “Can I buy you a drink?” he asked, his eyes leaving hers only to look at her dwindling glass of water.

Hen wanted to say that she was doing homework and that and drinking didn’t usually go together, but words weren’t coming to her that easily.  All she could do was nod.  Watching him, uniform and all, from her booth made her wonder why he came over to her.  She was not the only woman in the bar, but she was the only one in the corner looking like she had something to do.  Because she did.  When he sat down in front of her, he offered her a glass filled with something she couldn’t identify if she tried.  She never had the party phase of college. “Thanks,” she willed herself to say.  Now that she said one thing, she felt like she could say another.  Only she went to say it right when he spoke.  She laughed, looking at his tight lipped smile.  “Sorry, go ahead.”

“I’ve seen a lot, but I’ve never seen someone studying in a bar before.”

Her attention went back to her laptop, which she closed.  “What else is there to do?” she asked, and he laughed.  She hadn’t meant it as a joke, but she went with it as she stacked the folder and textbook against the wall.  

“What are you studying?” he asked.

“Journalism.”  She took a drink, and she resisted the urge to cringe.  It was strong, and she wasn’t used to it.

“I’m Hangman,” he said.  “Jake, but most people call me Hangman.”

Her heart sank.  If he had a call sign, he was probably Top Gun.  “Oh, it’s your call sign?”  Feeling like she couldn’t ignore him after he bought her a drink, she added, “What made you pick a name like Strawman?  Do you get tangled in a lot of debates?”  She laughed, then, genuinely, and he smiled only because she laughed.

“No, it’s hangman.”

“Oh, sorry.  It’s kind of loud in here.”

“What’s this about debating?” he asked.

“It’s the strawman argument.  When you’re debating with someone and you argue another point on purpose to throw off the original debate.”

“Why is it that I can't imagine you debating with anyone?”

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hen asked. She didn't want to be offended, but she wondered why he assumed that about her. 

He shrugged.  “I'm just saying, you're a pretty girl studying in a bar.  It’s not what I expect from you.”

She couldn't focus, then. He had called her pretty, and she wasn't sure when she had been out long enough to get anyone's attention, let alone someone who looked like him. If he was in Top Gun, he was probably cocky, and he was also probably way too confident for her liking. “Well, I'm not combative. I was just the president of the debate team in high school.”

“Oh, that’s adorable.” he grinned.  She went to speak, then didn’t.  She scanned the bar for Maverick, hoping he would interrupt so she didn't have to figure out how to tell him she wasn’t from there and not the kind of girl he was looking for.  “What’s your name?”

“Henrietta.  People never call me that, though.  Henri, Hen.”  He smiled into his drink before downing the rest of it.  She didn’t like that she couldn’t tell what he was thinking.  His smile, ever-present and now seeming a bit smug to her, threw her off.  Suddenly, she wasn’t so nervous just because he looked like a walking Barbie promo.  “What, are you used to hooking up with girls named Jenny?  You think I’m unique because I”m sitting in a corner studying at a bar, I have a unique name.  Which, yes, it sounds like it belongs to an old lady, and it did.  It’s my grandmother’s name.  You can say it all, I’ve probably heard it before.”

“When did this turn into us hooking up?” he challenged.

“Why else did you come over here?  I’m clearly not from here, and neither are you.”

“Relax, I never said it was a bad idea.  I just wondered where you made that connection.  And I’ve yet to check Jenny off my list.  I’ve been with two Nicole’s, though.  Henrietta definitely wasn’t on the list, but now it is.”

Hen began to scoot out of the booth, taking her laptop and mess of papers and documents with her.  “You’re disgusting, just like that drink.”

“It’s a Jack and Coke,” he said, much calmer than her.

“I don’t like Jack, and I don’t like Coke.  And that’s a strawman argument.  Have a great night.”  Her tone implied that she didn’t want him to have a great night, but he took it.  When she hurried her way through the packed bar, even more packed than when they arrived, she found that Maverick was not there.  The man playing the piano loudly set off the alarm bells in her head.  She didn’t want to be in the crowd and she didn’t want to be there anymore.  She wanted to go to her room and watch Gilmore Girls on her laptop under a blanket.

As she burst out the bar’s front door, she found Maverick in the parking lot.  “I was just about to call you,” he said.

“Well, no need.  I’m here. And all I want to do is go home.”

He pressed his lips together, shaking his head gently. “You can’t hang out with me forever.  You didn’t talk to one person tonight?”

“No, I actually did talk to one person, and I didn’t like it.”

As he mounted his bike, she adjusted her backpack and got on behind him. “The longer you hide yourself away from the rest of the world, the harder it’ll be to come back.  There should be more to your life besides this.”

She said nothing, mostly because she knew he was right.  But she also knew she didn’t have to sit around and have hot Top Gun graduates laugh at her name.  She liked her old lady name.  

#top gun #top gun maverick #hangman fanfiction #hangman imagine #hangman #bob top gun #bob floyd x ofc #bob floyd x female reader #hangman x reader #series #phoenix top gun #pete mitchell

[chaoticgoodlawyerwrites]

DYK Chapter 28 Preview

Hey folks! Drafting on chapter 28 is coming along! I hope you enjoy this (unbeta'd) snippet!

---

A ke and a few Peaks over, Luo Binghe found himself standing next to his sister to the entrance of the Sect’s makeshift prison. Ning Yingying had been all too happy to show him to Yue Qingyuan’s cell, apparently supervising his visits having become one of her hobbies the past few months. She had a class to teach in half a shichen, but she had been more than happy to make the trip with him.

She’d been waiting for this moment just as long as he had. Ning Yingying had done her utmost to ensure that this would be Yue Qingyuan’s end, and was finally reaping the rewards of her work for her own satisfaction (rather than Shen Qingqiu and the Sect’s safety). She, of course, also used their travel time to catch up with him a bit, but Yingying saw no reason to hide her malicious glee at the thought of Yue Qingyuan suffering.

He had hurt the man who had sheltered, protected, and raised them to the point in their lives now. And that was unforgivable.

“This way, A-Luo,” she said cheerfully when they arrived. It was a small, unnamed, and often forgotten place in the Sect. Rarely did they need to house people who caused the Sect harm; they were usually either exiled or killed immediately. And Yue Qingyuan was a special case.

Luo Binghe sensed the layers of wards and arrays in and around the stone entranceway, no doubt the work of Zhao Qingchen. He wasn’t anywhere near as well versed in containment arrays as Shen Yuan, but he recognized the feel of them. Ning Yingying bit her finger and drew a temporary release symbol where the wards began. It dropped, they stepped over the threshold, and it came up barely five seconds behind them.

Binghe was impressed and Ning Yingying saw it on his face. “Yes, amazing, isn’t it. Turns out, Zhao-shigu was not pleased to have the Sect Leader, who valued her both for her expertise and a person despite her gender, attacked by the one who previously treated her with perfunctory, perfect politeness. Mother and Qi-shigu also had their own ideas.”

Luo Binghe hummed in agreement. “Mother is good like that.”

“Yes! Wish I could have met her under better circumstances however. She’s amazing!”

“She told me her side of the story. You made a good impression on her and she doesn’t like a lot of people.”

That made Ning Yingying beam at him and it warmed him to see it. 

It was good to be back.

They approached the lone door at the end of a series of corridors, apparently different cells with ancient magic working into them. Zhao Qingchen had reinforced the wards in Yue Qingyuan’s cell, creating a division in the floor between the door and the rest of the area so he could have visitors. To unlock the door, Ning Yingying took out a complicated talisman and pressed it to the door. 

Stone with a few holes drilled into it for air slid aside after a moment. A somewhat large cave was revealed, qi-powered light ensuring that everything was visible. Yue Qingyuan, sitting in a meditative position in the middle of the floor on a pillow, looked at them as they came in. He seemed mostly well kept, just very much confined.

Binghe knew that his cultivation was not stifled so he could practice inedia in here, with water mostly provided for drinking and bathing. The cell was clean, with a cot and blankets for sleeping, cushions to sit on, and a stack of books off to the side. 

Honestly, much better conditions than Luo Binghe expected for someone who kidnapped the Sect Leader, but he supposed that being the previous Sect Leader had some perks. He’d ask Ning Yingying about it later.

Maybe they could get him transferred to the prisons in the imperial palace sooner rather than later. Those accommodations seemed more appropriate.

“Luo Binghe,” he said, voice raspy with disuse. The hatred came through loud and clear, however.

“Yue Qi,” he responded. He was no longer a Peak Lord of Cang Qiong Sect. While his courtesy name would likely be stripped as part of his punishment, it felt appropriate to call him by his birth name if he would do the same. The other man knew Binghe’s proper title; his refusal to use it opened the door for him to strip him of the last honor he had.

“What do you want?”

“From you? Nothing. Not that you could give me anything.”

“Then why are you here? To gloat?”

The tone was calm, but it was fraying at the edges, giving way to anger. Luo Binghe leaned against the wall and crossed his arms casually. “Why bother? You already know I have everything you wanted. Gloating would be a waste of breath. And, as my husband said to me when we discussed my visit, you really aren’t worth it.”

That made the other man flinch and that was fun. He flicked his eyes to Ning Yingying but then looked at Luo Binghe again. “Then do what you want and be on your way.”

“You’re going to be tried in demonic court for crimes against the imperial family. My father will preside, and you will be sentenced to death. You will then be given a sword, and I will kill you in front of a crowd. My husband promised me that honor the night you attempted to have Madam Meiyin reveal his fate, having been hurt too much by you to even consider your continued existence.”

Yue Qi’s face went back to neutrality. “And what’s stopping me from self-destructing before that point?”

Luo Binghe raised his eyebrows. “The same reason you have not done so already. You wait everyday for a particular visitor, don’t you? You wait for him, as he once waited for you. If you die, then you’ll truly never see him again.”

It was cruel, and he saw that his blow struck true. His face did not move, but his eyes… the guilt, the regret, the brokenness was a balm to his soul to see. 

Time to close out strong.

“But, you see, you’ve hurt my Qingqiu too much. You’ve given him nightmares and stress, trauma that he is healing from. And, assuming from your broken soulbond, I supposed that wasn’t so far out of the ordinary. No, my Consort will not come visit you. But he will be attending both your trial and execution as both were his ideas.

“The only thing he wants from you right now is to die in front of him. However, I have something to offer you, a bit of incentive to actually survive long enough to fight me.”

Yue Qi looked at him, hatred beginning to bleed back into his eyes, lip snarling as he said, “Why should I believe anything you say?”

“Because the truth will hurt you most, and I want you to suffer,” Luo Binghe said easily, letting his power leak out a bit more so that his eyes glowed red. “And, just to make sure you don’t just self-destruct or stab yourself the second you get a sword in your hand, I can offer you a boon to fight me truly. Something only I can offer you and you want.”

Yue Qi stared at him, contemptuous. “And what is that?”

“If you give me an honest fight, I’ll tell you how Shen Qingqiu immediately believed the other Luo Binghe was married to another version of himself. The thing he would only ever share with the person he loved more than life. A secret, a part of him he never trusted you with, and never will.”

[pain-in-the-butler]

I finally watched the Noah’s Ark Circus musical with subtitles (over the course of four days - it was my downtime activity while my sister’s wedding was happening) and I have some Thoughts

It’s not a very good play lol. I could tell that was true even without the subtitles .

The song where Sebastian and Will don’t want to hold hands while they do acrobatics is the only song that I remember thinking was catchy. The rest of them were shockingly weak. No earworms to speak of .

Most of the actors do the best they can within the parameters they’re set but it’s just not well-adapted for the stage. And it’s way too dark! What an unhappy note to end a story on. It’s more or less faithful to the arc but I really wish it hadn’t been. It’s just not a pleasant tale .

Lycoris is rather dark too, but because it’s also very dramatic and romanticized and pretty (and Grell is there), I think it still lends itself to a better stage adaptation. Noah’s Ark is mostly just about people having really shitty lives and it ends on Sebastian concluding that humans are desperate creatures. Also a lot of children die. Gee, what a fun way to spend a night out....... 😐 .

I think it was frankly irresponsible to cast a young child as Ciel, if not any child. It’s not a fun role for a kid, and it’s also just inappropriate considering they really played up Kelvin’s thirst and creepiness. I think it’s far too frightening for someone who is only twelve. Reo did really well despite it all - but of course he was exhausted by the end and I think it was just way too overwhelming for him .

I care less about the circus crew than ever. The cast really tried to put themselves out there, but there’s too much overacting in an attempt to get you to fall in love with everyone/pity them before they’re killed. It’s really corny .

That said, it was cool how many of the circus people could actually do tricks! I loved how Dagger knew how to ride a unicycle, and Peter and Wendy’s back-flips were fun to watch .

I wanted to love Agni and Soma, but whenever they were on-stage, they just seemed like caricatures. I skipped their song/dance in the second act because I remembered it feeling out of place and tonally bizarre .

The servants aren’t too bad. Their actors almost always get really hammy in any play, but they’re meant to be clowns, so you expect it. However, having Bard and Ciel say “Those are the Phantomhive servants” simultaneously right before Bard blew up the manor really hit the powerful note it was meant to .

Abberline and Hanks my beloved. All their comedy skits were brilliant. The way their jokes made Furukawa and Reo break character and laugh during the Undertaker scene was so cute. I smiled any time they were on stage .

Speaking of Furukawa, of course he did great. His performance here made me realize why I love Campania so much more: it’s great to see Sebastian being smarmy and show-offy, but even better to see it juxtaposed with a desperate Sebastian who’s afraid for the first time in his life. It gives you that full scope of his character. Throughout Noah’s Ark, Sebastian is not struggling at all, so even though Furukawa is killing it with the facial expressions and poses, I felt a little bored by the script .

Most of all, I got the overall sense that everyone was doing the best with what they had, which was uncomfortable. I ended up feeling sorry for everyone who had to adapt such a difficult story.........

If I was in charge of the stage play (and I shouldn’t be), I think I would have toned things down and been less faithful to the source material. There’s no need to make it a comedy, but even tragedies need to possess lots of humanity in order to make them an enjoyable experience. I don’t think the circus antics and AbberHanks was enough to encourage a good atmosphere. I would have walked out of the theater feeling rather hopeless and uninspired if I had watched Noah’s Ark in-person.

In act two, the tragedies are just one after the other. The children dying in Kelvin’s performances, then the basement, then Kelvin getting shot and Joker slowly wilting in misery, the other Circus members getting killed, the doctor revealing the prosthetics are made of children’s bones, Ciel’s panic attack, “killing” Doll, the orphanage being abandoned - and then Sebastian sings a song about desperation and that’s the end, time to go home, bye!

I’ll honestly think more about how I’d change this, just as a fun exercise in storytelling. But if you liked Noah’s Ark, I’m happy for you! As for me, I’ll stick with rewatching Campania for the millionth time.

#kuroshitsuji #a

[praemonitor]

I'm feeling a lot better today, almost at my 100%. Thank you for your kind wishes.

Mi first draw to the fic? General of the First Order, Armitage Hux. I'm obsessed with that bastard, or rather, with the potential of what the canon could have had given to us, but finally didn't.

At first was a little bit daunting reading a 4 chapter unfinished fic with > 75k word count, but I decided to give it a go. I was engrossed with chapter 1 and 2, but what made me 150% invested in the story was minisode III, with all regarding the Finalizer and the quest of it's people for survival; it was amazing with the way you describe it, the tension, the urgency, the despair without failing into defeatism (Hux being a boss indeed.).

I remembered being pretty happy when I saw the update for minisode V (the mission on Naboo is one I re-read regularly), and I literally SCREAMED when a saw the update for minisode VI (I was at the office. I threw a glass of water to the floor to cover my fangirling from my coworkers XD) Needless to say, that that minisode grabbed me by the throat and will never let me go.

I came in for the terrible, uptight, brilliant and damaged Armitage, with the plus incentive of getting gingerpilot. I don't want to start waxing poetry about Poe, because I wouldn't have enough characters left on this ask, but that man? *Sigh* live rent free in my heart since TFA

BUT! all of this gushing for this two, is no a disparage for the Reylo. Canon Raylo never got my disapproval, but also never got me beyond "they're kinda cute together. That could be interesting" But their dinamic in the first of the new is richer a deeper, and a really absorbing facet of the story.

And your take and expansion of the secondary characters? They are everything. I wish Kes was my father (mine is not bad, but is in no way in Kes league. In. No. Way); Dopheld and Kaydel are (sometimes murderous) precious beans who deserve everything good in the galaxy; THE KNIGHTS OF REN, ALL OF THEM (TRoS made them dirty, is all I gonna say), I'm so pleased of how you tied them to the canon in their identities that I cannot believe how attached I am to them; and the Xionos, for better or for worse (fuck Hamada), and all of those from the Colossus and Resistance.

Everything in this story in rich, complex, and spellbinding, made with care, love and passion, like a intricate trapestry full of colors, forms a storys, open to us to appreciate and be in awe at.

Happy Star Wars and may the force be with you. Always

You've brightened my whole day, thank you so much for this message! I'm so excited you have a special place in your heart for Minisode III -- its "haunted ghost story" vibe was really fun to write. And I also loved writing Kes and Hux's dialogue in Minisode VI, what with the political dynamics between the Resistance/New Republic and the First Order as they learn to work together.

And of course, Dopheld Mitaka and Kaydel Ko Connix grabbed their very own side plot and ran with it, so good for them!! I have a very disorganized text document full of scene ideas for Rey and Ben, Poe and Hux, Mitaka and Connix... maybe someday those will see the light of day?? Right now they're an incoherent jumble of words, haha.

Honestly and truly, thank you so much for reaching out. The past year has been rough for me writing-wise. I've actually been trying to write an original novel, which should be fun and exciting, but I keep doubting my creative ability, convinced my plot ideas and original characters are no good.

Further fueling my anxiety, the novel I want to write revolves around controversial real-world topics that are really important to me personally, but I dread the thought of not doing these topics justice and unintentionally triggering online discourse. It really doesn't help that I sit on the sidelines of fandoms I love (i.e. Star Wars, Our Flag Means Death), watching fic writers and fan artists get harassed for any missteps -- real or perceived. It breaks my heart and leaves me too scared to write anything for fear of accidentally causing offense.

Which is all super frustrating because I LOVE writing. So thank you again for your kindness, support, and enthusiasm, and for reminding me why I love writing so much. Have an amazing day!!

#star wars #our flag means death #first of the new #writer problems

[rookie-critic]

Rookie-Critic's Top 25 Films of 2022: #1: Everything, Everywhere, All at Once (dir. Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert, a.k.a. Daniels)

We now arrive at the finish line of the Top 25 Films of 2022. I mean, could it have really been anything else?

There was no reality, no multiverse, in which my #1 pick for 2022 was going to be anything other than this sweeping, zany, beautiful masterpiece of comedically bizarre, but oddly dramatic storytelling. I actually have a really fun history with this film from before it was ever even officially announced. Back in September of 2021, I was newly single out of a 6-year relationship and had started going to a ton of films as a way of spending this massive influx of free time I had just come into. A lot of which, at the time, were free preview screenings of things that were about to come out (generally, my idea of it is they are press screenings that they open up to the public in order to fill the extra seats and word-of-mouth buzz). However, one day I get an email from one of the mailing lists I'm subscribed to asking if I'd like to come to a screening of a new film that hasn't been announced yet. After looking into the details further, it would be a sci-fi film starring Michelle Yeoh and directed by Daniels, and I would have to take a survey before and after the film, as well as sign an NDA and agree to not speak to anyone about it until the time when the film was officially announced and a release date was set. Those were literally the only three pieces of information I was given on the film. I was a fan of the Daniels' previous film, Swiss Army Man, and I generally like Michelle Yeoh, so I decided to give it a go. Why not? I like sci-fi, at worst I will have watched a bad film for free, oh no. So I reserved my spot, signed that NDA, and went to theater the following day for my screening. The movie, as you probably guessed, was Everything, Everywhere, All at Once, and let me tell you I hated that NDA with such a passion those next three months. I discussed in a very limited capacity with those in my immediate circle of family (I believe all I told my little brother that there was a scene where the characters turn into rocks and talk to each other through subtitles and that scene had made me cry), but really I just had to sit on the knowledge of this until it was officially announced in December 2021. I went and saw it opening weekend and remember thinking it was even better than I remembered it being in the test screening.

As far as a review, what is there really to say? The acting is superb across the board, especially from our central three cast members: Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan, and Stephanie Hsu (in my opinion, as much as I love Jamie Lee Curtis, Hsu should have won the Supporting Actress Oscar). The effects and editing are out of this world (universe? multiverse?). The humor never misses and never cheapens a more heartfelt or tender moment between characters. In fact, most of the time the drama and the comedy of everything is weaved in so naturally in a way that's hard to even describe. The entire movie almost defies genre or categorization and refuses to be pinned down into any one box. Ultimately, though, what I think really sets this film apart from everything else that came out in 2022 is that, behind the zany, at times unbelievably off-the-wall beats and gags, is an incredibly small story of a family and their struggles, both with the world and with each other. It's a film that analyzes what it means to be a mother, a father, a husband, a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter. It's a very uniquely Asian story with an Asian identity at its core, but there are things in the film, especially in the way it analyzes the cyclical dynamic of a dysfunctional family, that can ring true for anyone. It's a film that dares you to dream big, but also a film that asks you, gently, to not take the little things for granted. It's a film that asks you to be kind, and that it's ok to give people space when they need it, but even with that in mind, asks you to never give up on those you love. Most of all, this film asks you to love, to give love and accept love in all its forms, because anywhere will be home, anywhere will be enough, if you're surrounded with those that you love. Not only is this my #1 pick for 2022, this is also just, in general, one of my favorite films of all time.

Currently streaming on Showtime.

You can read my original review of Everything, Everywhere, All at Once here.

#The Top 25 Films of 2022 #Everything Everywhere All at Once #EEAaO #Daniel Kwan #Daniel Scheinert #Daniels #Michelle Yeoh #Ke Huy Quan #Stephanie Hsu #James Hong #Jamie Lee Curtis #Jenny Slate #Harry Shum Jr. #Harry Shum Jr #Tallie Medel #Randy Newman #film review #movie review #2022 films

[bereft-of-frogs]

I did not finish watching all of the Academy Award nominees this year but I made some progress so ahead of the show here are my unsolicited opinions:

Best Picture:

- Top Gun: Maverick - I had a lot of fun and it was so much better than a sequel to a movie from 40 years ago had any right being…but best picture? Really? I will always love plane go fast movie but I’m not sure why it’s up here.

- Women Talking - saw last week, it was OK. It was really well directed and the cinematography and performances were great but the script was terrible. If this wins a writing award I will scream. It felt like it was striving to say something profound but just ended up being really pointless. There are better examples of this genre than this script which literally has the line ‘not all men’ in it.

- Everything Everywhere All At Once - I definitely cried, this would be the popular choice, there is going to be uproar when/if it doesn’t win.

- The Banshees of Inisherin - the more I think about this movie, the more I like it. There’s such a great mythic quality to it, I would be happy if it wins.

- Triangle of Sadness - SO WEIRD. I liked it. Will never stop thinking about that dinner scene. It was so, so weird though 😆

- The Fabelmans - haven��t seen it, won’t be surprised if it wins and everyone is pissed, because my understanding is it’s a movie about making movies and the academy loooooves that

- All Quiet On the Western Front - I liked it but it did feel a little derivative and I think it’s going to be too bleak to win.

- Avatar: The Way of Water - if this wins I will be the one rioting. No I haven’t seen it. No I will not be seeing it. (I might have if I found the time before the awards.) I am one of the people who hated the first movie, no it was not to be rebellious and go against the grain, I just saw it on a tiny screen and was bored out of my mind and believe that if you have to say ‘well you should have seen it in the special format…’ it doesn’t deserve the general award. Technical awards, sure, but not best picture.

- Elvis - god this was so bad. I don’t even hate Baz Luhrmann as much as some people do but this was just all bad. Script was bad, performances were weird and overbearing, the frantic directorial style didn’t lend anything to the story. I feel like they just needed a biopic up here but omg it was terrible and I wish I had not watched it.

- Tár - did not manage to see this one before the show, I wish I had seen this instead of Women Talking but the theater was only showing it at matinee times for some reason. Probably won’t win but is probably way better than some of the others on this list.

International Feature:

- All Quiet on the Western Front - see above. Also I feel like there should be a rule about this, I don’t think movies should be nominated for both best picture and best international feature.

- Argentina, 1985 - this was nice. Pretty classic legal film but it was good and I would not be sad if this one won.

- The Quiet Girl - seeing on Tuesday! Will report back but even having not seen it I want it to win just because it’s in Irish #biased

- Close - didn’t manage to find this one, no idea what it’s about

- Eo - this was playing close to me but there ended up being a blizzard the only day I could go. Love Polish cinema though so I would like to see it eventually.

I don’t have many other thoughts aside from Ke Huy Quan should definitely win best supporting actor.

They’ve probably already announced awards before I posted this, haven’t checked, anyway those are my thoughts on what I managed to get through, hopefully I will do better next year 👍

#2023 academy awards

[marx-xiii]

Hi I’ve never made a post like this, but I just had the craziest conversation with my mother and so much of my life makes sense now. I’m not looking for sympathy or advice, I really just want to get this out. Fair warning in advance for use of slurs, and I will be talking about school related trauma.

For those of you that don’t know me, hi you can call me Marx. I grew up in the early 2000s and was raised by my two lesbian mothers. One biological, and another who’s out of the picture, but that’s a story for another day.

I’ve had always struggled a lot in school, but I’ve always felt an imposter when talking about them in the context of mental health. I can barely remember anything from Pre-K up to 3rd grade, so I always felt like I had no room to talk if I could remember it. But today I was talking to my biological Mom, who I will simply refer to as my Mom from here on out because she’s always been my major maternal figure, and somehow we got onto the topic of my childhood and hometown. Jesus Christ, the way the people in my home town treated me was just straight up evil.

In Pre-K, literally my first teacher was this bitter old woman, who had a reputation for selecting one boy each year and just absolutely breaking them. Apparently, I walked up to her on the first day with no fear and held her hand. She made some snide remark about how brave a little boy I was while we walked inside. Later that day I got up to go to the bathroom, and she just hollered at me to sit down for getting up without permission. I was so scared that I wet myself right there and then in front of the whole class and everyone started laughing at me. From that day forward she would fucking separate me from the rest of the class, literally would stop them from talking to me, and that town was so backwards and hateful that they basically encouraged it.

Sadly it didn’t stop with her. Even after I left her class, that reputation of being a punching bag stuck with me, and was only amplified by their homophobic parents. Evidently, the mere presence of my openly gay mothers was enough justification for them to treat me like the fucking bogeyman.

Deadass my “best friend” at the time, who my mother drove to school every morning refused to talk to me at school. He would just straight up hide from me because he knew better than to be associated with me.

I had friends’ parents who would send me home from their house when other kids came over, because God forbid the other moms of the PTA saw you associating with the two d*kes and their weird little f*ggot boy tyke.

Even during the holidays, when the class moms organized a gift exchange, they deliberately went out of their way to exclude me and refused to get me a gift. And later that day, a girl from my class had to drag her mom out to get me a gift because her father refused to give her the money for it.

So much of my life makes sense now, to this day I feel genuine fear every time I have to talk to an authority figure. It’s like a survival instinct, literally fight or flight. I feel like I have to protect myself from them. And I always used to feel like it was because I was just paranoid, now I know it was because I was genuinely fucking traumatized as a kid.

It actually feels really good to have those feelings validated. It wasn’t just me.

Anyways, thank you for reading if you made it this far. I have to go now and do 50 drawings of a bag of flour kicking a ball, but when I get home I’ll be make edits to fix the formatting if need be.

#vent tag #cw vent #trauma #trauma coping #lgbt community #lgbt parenting #gay #lesbian #homophobia #mental health #real life #lived experience #childhood #tw abuse #emotional abuse #teaching #teacher #growing up gay #gay childhood #gay kids

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s2 ep 11: Maneuvers

Ah, a Kazon episode. Ugh. They're not my favorite villains, and this Seska arc felt like it went on forever, so I can't say I was excited about this one. It didn't really give Chakotay any good material either.

This one isn't objectively bad in the same way that all those Kes/Neelix episodes are, but I just didn't personally care for it. I wasn't a fan of the whole Chakotay/Seska thing from the beginning- it didn't do his character any favors, and it veers into very soap opera territory here. To have him go off on his own without permission to try to get back at her does come off as selfishness and wounded ego rather than nobility, despite B'Elanna's best efforts at being his apologist. He was just kind of obnoxious this whole episode. B'Elanna was trying to be a good friend when she told him to stop and think before reacting to Seska, and that little jab of his about 'so now I'm getting advice about controlling my emotions from you?' was really mean. Like geez man, a) she's your friend, be a little more sensitive, and b) maybe she's learned that lesson the hard way, and you should heed her advice. But of course, he doesn't.

It doesn't even make sense for him to do what he did- if he was embarrassed that he used to unknowingly date a Cardassian spy, stealing a shuttle to try and personally get back at her makes it look like she succeeded in her mission to get under his skin pretty well, or even that he's still into her. (And if the whole crew didn't know that he and Seska used to bang before, they sure will when every crewman on board starts asking ' wait why did Chakotay steal a shuttle?!' lmao)

Having all the interrogation scenes focus on him taunting Cullah with the fact that he and Seska used to bang was also not great. It probably is an effective tactic to use on someone who's a raging misogynist like Cullah, but why does every alien race have to be raging misogynists in the first place? (Answer: They don't, actually.) It just felt like gross dudebro posturing and wasn't a great look for Chakotay. It made him look more like a sad pathetic ex-boyfriend who can't let go of the past than like he was tough or cool.

And, of course, he gets away with all this. Captain Janeway obviously can't throw everyone in the brig every time they break the rules, but she could have at least had him scrubbing plasma conduits or whatever for a while. I can't help thinking that the writers would have had Picard or Sisko come down harder on an insubordinate officer than they usually have Janeway do.

All of the different Kazon wigs in this one were distractingly bad. I couldn't pay attention to any of their scenes because I was so distracted by trying to decipher their hairdos. One of them looked like he had mushrooms in his hair, another one looked like pine cones or driftwood, the other one looked like maybe coral? Honestly they looked like they were supposed to be forest fairies rather than scary warrior aliens. Not a good design.

The twist at the end with Seska's little stunt didn't really make any sense either. Considering her defining character trait is lying, I don't know why the Voyager crew would even take her at her word. She's clearly just messing with him for funsies. Also, why didn't Janeway demand they hand Seska over too when they had all the Kazon guys held hostage?? She's very much a threat to them, and she was one of their crew, so they do have a legit claim on her. They could have thrown her in the brig forever and bam! Problem solved! (But I guess sometimes logic must be ignored when the writers are really invested in a story arc lol)

Honestly Seska's whole arc here didn't make a lot of sense. If the Kazon weren't so misogynist, I would buy her defecting to them a lot more easily. Even though she's a terrible person, it still sucks to watch her get talked down to by Cullah. I honestly don't know why she would consider being some dumbass misogynist's girlfriend better than being a Starfleet crewman. Sure, she's a Cardassian, she hates taking orders from Starfleet, but how is having to bow and scrape to some asshole and flatter his ego better? Maybe she's just a freak who likes having hate sex with men she doesn't even like, but even so, I don't think there's any woman anywhere who enjoys being told by some shitty man that she's just a little woman who should shut up and learn her place.

And speaking of misogyny, good grief, the women's Starfleet uniforms really do have ridiculously high heels! There was a really clear shot of B'Elanna's boot in this ep, and that's like a three inch heel! I remember when I was a kid watching this and thinking that it was unrealistic that Starfleet would even let officers wear heeled boots on duty, let alone require it. I'm honestly even more upset and frankly, mystified, over it now. Aside from in-universe considerations, how did the actresses even manage those things?? Sure, they're chunky heels, but still, when walking or running around a multi-level set, that doesn't seem very safe. And I'm sure it wasn't comfortable. The unbelievably sexist crap they pulled on this show will never cease to astound me. ugh.

There were some things I liked here, like having Seska teach the Kazon to ram a ship through Voyager's hull, which I don't think I've seen any other Trek series do with spaceships before. And B'Elanna when she's like 'I can beam him out at warp' and everyone's like 'too dangerous!' and she's like 'nah, I've done it before!' Queen shit. I love her!! But overall, it just wasn't my cup of tea.

Tl;dr: An episode that continued the Kazon arc but failed to make them any more compelling as villains, and seemed almost like it was trying to tear Chakotay down.

#star trek: voyager #voyager rewatch #rewatching star trek #star trek

[dunmertwink]

I love learning about Kestrel! Does he feel more comfortable in his own skin as the game goes on? (Can’t wait to learn about the lute)

Super long answer btw!

Short Answer: Yes, but, he's def one of those people who care way too much about what others think of him, and he hides that behind this kind of arrogant, flamboyant/ grandiose mask (not unlike Astarion... they clash at first because they are fairly similar in this regard).

As time goes on and he gets more comfy around the companions, he's able to let more of himself through if that makes sense. The biggest thing that keeps him from fully accepting himself is his trauma but again, as the game goes on, he is helped through it!

Long Answer: STORY TIME! Under the cut cause there's A LOT (I tend to info-dump, so don't feel pressured to read this by any means! Marking this mature since I discuss sexy stuff)

So, way before the events of the game, like just a little over 10 years before, he and his lifelong friend Barrin*(1) escaped Baldur's Gate when they were 17.

Kestrel, throughout his childhood, was very open about being trans. It was others (his parents, the noble he was betrothed to*(2), and even his fans as "the Siren") who forced him back into the closet, so to speak. So that's why his discomfort is more external.

To actually answer the question (lmaooo), he likes the way his body looks, especially after top surgery. But he struggles with being in it, if that makes sense? He is a little ashamed that he likes bottoming (liking the way vaginal sex feels), or that he really enjoys sleeping around (and boy did he get around as a traveling bard). He def gets over this! Over time, he learns that his wants and experiences don't make him any less of a man.

Because of the way he carries himself, he sometimes gets misgendered (it doesn't happen a lot, but enough to be at the back of his mind; to most people, he's just a fruity lil guy tho).

*1. Barrin's face is "worn" by the guardian; I have a hc that the 'guardian' rummaged through the companions' thoughts to find a trustworthy person to emulate.

*2. A noble in the city took a liking to "the Siren of the Wide" and, well, some pretty awful stuff happened to Kes 🥲. The scar across his lips was from the noble's onyx ring for one.

The betrothal really upset him - the guy was just an awful person; entitled, abusive in all senses. On many occasions, Kestrel tried to escape the manor, but the Flaming Fists were always called to wrestle him back.

The night before his wedding he robbed his husband-to-be's personal safe, faked his death (by way of an altered Invoke Duplicity spell set to look like his dead body rather than just a duplicate), and fled. He bumped into Barrin who at that point he hadn't seen in years. Barrin worked shipping goods to small towns across the Sword Coast via horse and carriage and promised to help him escape BG for good.

They made their way to Beregost (the city to the south of Baldur's Gate, near Candlekeep) and made a new life there with all the money and baubles Kestrel stole from his betrothed. You'll meet Barrin in the comic!

They bought an inn with that money and the leftovers were used for Kes's top surgery. The inn was also used as a front for a fencing/ money laundering operation since they were still pretty involved in the "underground" scene. Basically from there on out he lived his best life as a traveling bard. Of course, until he was captured by mind flayers!

~Act 1 and 2 spoilers ahead!~

On top of the lute origin story, Im also writing a drabble (of sorts) of the party's reactions to Mizora's surprise visit and Wyll's transformation (it's pretty much almost done so that will be posted first - still very raw as im a better comic artist than writer).

Wyll had compared Kestrel to Astarion in personality (oops), but after a while, he realized that it was a wall that Kes had put up when it came to new people as a way to protect himself.

Kes has this saying, "People take what they want from you. Best show them only what you want them to see." In other words, trust no one and feed them bs. He's an arcane trickster/expert illusionist by trade so he embodies that a little too literally! He unlearns this during the events of the game (through the power of friendship uwu)/j.

Wyll sees that deep underneath the bullshit, Kes is actually a sweet person (saving several tiefling kids, helping Alfira finish her song, saving people from the fire in Waukeens Rest, etc). This drabble shows that Kes and Wyll have met before (will be posting soon - just polishing it up)!

He gets set back pretty badly by 1.) the idea of having to return to Baldur's Gate after being free of it for so long and 2.) seeing his abuser again after 10 years at Moonrise as a cultist (more on the noble in that drabble-thingy).

He regresses a bit by Act 3. The walls go back up and he's more... cagey. I havent finished the game yet bc im having a bitch of a time with the end of Act 2 (I'm trying so hard to keep Jaheira alive but she keeps getting one-shotted anyway by the black-hole spell)!!!!

So I will have to get back to you on how he's doing in Act 3! Lmaooo!

Again, thanks so much for the ask! I love talking about my ocs and dont get to do it a lot (on account that I dont post much about them. All my oc lore is trapped in my head lol).

#ask #oc: kestrel everdusk #long post #im def gonna try to post more content caus i have so much in my head an a little bit of art but i trip myself up bc of anxiety #for instance i stop myself from posting stuff sometimes cause its either not perfect or i wanna be mysterious lmaooo #and im so not #im literally so awkward and bumbling irl #when i say not perfect its absolutely me being super nitpicky and perfectionist about my stuff so much so that by the end #ill end up hating the thing whatever it may be #so im working on stopping that clown shit #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #my ocs #god how many times have i editted this ask?!? #im just really bad at articulating things lmao