#So even in a game with final fantasy characters and mickey fucking mouse running around with an anime sword

[smugraccoon137]

Fun fact when we played through kh2 and got to the 100 acre woods world I sobbed so hard my bf had to stop playing. Cus if you don't know Pooh bear forgets who Sora is. Like he forgets everyone. And we help him remember everyone but us until the very end. And then THEN. My buddy. My pal. My best friend Pooh bear remembers us. And I died of happiness and sadness.

#No shame #Like there's something to be said about the suspension of belief #You have to have it to enjoy these games I think #To stop looking at the worlds as Disney worlds #And more as their own individual stories and characters #I enjoyed birth by sleep a lot because it was a lot easier for me to see the classic princesses as old germanic tales #Instead if Disney princesses #And it made the story a lot better for ke #But my point is! #winnie the pooh #He's my friend #No matter what #So even in a game with final fantasy characters and mickey fucking mouse running around with an anime sword #Pooh bear will always be my friend and I will always take him seriously #I was taken out of a game and into a story #And it WRECKED MY ASSSSS #so yeah I cried a whole bunch #But it was good because it reminded me of the softness of my heart #That even as an adult one of my oldest childhood memories and friends is still in my heart #kdh #kh #kh2 #pooh bear #video games #story thoughts #Kh playthrough #Video game playthrough #smugraccoon talk #text post #text

[nightcoremoon]

it's evident people haven't watched enough kids media to adequately understand just what constitutes a kids show as opposed to a show that kids can watch and be entertained by

when I was a kid I watched king of the hill and blues clues (among other things). king of the hill is NOT a kids show by any stretch of the imagination; it is an adult animation, replete with fairly heavy subject matter, sexual themes, political humor, cultural references that kids won't understand, discussion of religion in the modern day, depression and suicidal thoughts, adultery, puberty and sexual awakenings, body image, propane, propane accessories, and ultimately above all else what it means to be family. and blues clues is a show about a man who plays with a shovel & pail, talks to his condiments and mailbox, and sometimes he teleports into the felt dimension, all while playing Sherlock Holmes hercule poirot with his dog, and teaching kids how to count and draw and recognize colors and learn their ABCs. do you see the fucking difference? no? then I'll make it more clear.

dora the explorer & go diego go, mickey mouse clubhouse, handy manny, octonauts, bob the builder, super why, wild kratts, zoboomafoo, jojo's circus, wow wow wubbzy, stanley, doc mcstuffins, max & ruby, wonder pets, bubble guppies, ni hao khai lan, backyardigans, little einsteins, caillou (ugh) and p*w p*trol (double ugh), these are all undeniably kids shows. their audience is children (and the occasional adult by age with severe intellectual disabilities) and maybe the parents whose brains are too fried to care what's on the tv. these shows main purpose is to educate while entertaining on subjects one would encounter in preschool and kindergarten. counting 1-10, ABCs, basic color, basic language, basic intrapersonal skills, basic emotional literacy, problem solving, using your imagination, what sounds do animals make, breaking the fourth wall to ask the audience to answer what's 2+2 or tell them a lesson they learned today like I LEARNED TO NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER or some simple message like that. it's always light, there's no edgelord grimdark "what if they were dead the whole time" bullshit. it's just good clean simple wholesome [except for paw patrol] programs for kids to be distracted for a little bit of time, while also letting them walk away having said they learned something. at least half of the time dedicated to every single one of these shows is devoted to the same shit over and over again. I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map WE FUCKING GET IT YOURE THE MAP! backpack backpack I'm the backpack loaded up with things and knickknacks too, anything that you might need I've got inside for you. we did it we did it we did it HOORAY! come on vamanos everybody let's go, come on let's get to it, I know that we can do it,

WHERE ARE WE GOING

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

THESE SONGS ARE BURNED INTO MY BRAIN AND THEYLL BE STUCK IN MY HEAD UNTIL I DIE

say click take a pic, the hot dog dance, CAN HE FIX IT???, pizza! spaghetti!, THE DOC IS IN AND SHELL FIX YOU UP, max & ruby ruby & max max & ruby ruby & max MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX, wonder pets wonder pets we're on our way to help the friend and save the day, we're not too big and we're not too tough but when we work together we've got the right stuff, goooOOO WONDER PETS YAAAAY~, yoooour backyard friends the backyardigans (weve got the whole wide world in our yard to explore, thATS WHY EVERY DAY WEEEEERE BACK FOR MOOOORE), were going on a trip in our little rocket ship SOARING THROOOOOUGH THE SKY!!! little einsteins!

I swear to god I've been forced to watch so much children's television in my life it's no wonder there's no room left for serotonin executive function or the ability to speak to morons

point is I know my way around kids shows. my sisters were born in 98, 02, 05, 06, 10, and 18, I think, I don't even know because they're all a blur, I'm literally closer in age to my parents than to my youngest sibling, I never stopped being exposed to kids shows. I know what is and is not a kids show.

adventure time? not a kids show even though kids watch it. it's a "for everyone" show. it's got a target audience of 100% of the planet. steven universe? not a kids show even though kids watch it. miraculous ladybug? not a kids show even though kids watch it. scooby doo? not a kids show even though kids watch it. I'm not discussing the history of adult acceptance of animation, adult animation, or anime, so don't ask. dexter's laboratory. the grim adventures of billy & mandy. codename kids next door. teen titans. fairly oddparents. kim possible. invader zim. AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER. totally spies. courage the cowardly dog. the proud family. SPONGEBOB F*ING SQUAREPANTS. powerpuff girls. foster's home for imaginary friends. oh yeah you know what's coming next. my little goddamn pony friendship is mother fucking magic is not. a. kids. show. even though kids can watch it. it is a cartoon. it is an everyone show. that's why it's disingenuous and fucking stupid to decry any fan over the age of 7 as a pedophile and a weirdo creep; it participates in the infantilization of femininity. why is it ok for 20somethings to keep watching aang and squidward and finn & jake and zim and "return the slab" and everyone's totally fine wth that but when it's twilight sparkle suddenly everyone's like whoa you're a huge fucking loser for watching this girly wussy baby show for girly wussy babies. oh some bronies are sex crazed perverts? I'm sorry have you seen just how much porn there is for spongebob? oh some bronies are cringe? I'm sorry have you met half the steven universe fandom? oh some bronies are fascist rick sanchez kinnies with fedoras and katanas? BREAKING BAD FANS, HELLO!?!?!?

this is such a stupid tiring boring argument. maybe magic talking horses being friends and turning their friendship into magic rainbow nuclear fucking arms and blasting the evil out of a demon and turning her into the coolest fucking half-unicorn biker lesbian in the world is something that brings me, and adult, pure wholesome joy, in between bojack horseman and dark souls and breaking bad and deftones and fallout new vegas and jojo and cannibal corpse and other bleak depressing edgy shit that also brings me comfort. and MAYBE me at 16 starting to watch MLP:FIM becoming finally comfortable with the outward public expression of "traditionally feminine" interests is the main reason why I realized I was a girl when I did, and MAYBE I just like how pretty the colorful ponies look, AND MAYBE I KIN WITH ONE OR TWO OR EIGHT CHARACTERS, WHAT OF IT?

AND MAYBE ITS LITERALLY THE BEST LONG RUNNING FANTASY TV SERIES ON THE MARKET RIGHT NOW* SINCE GAME OF THRONES FUCKING SUCKS

but whatever, kids watch it sometimes so it's illegal for anyone who's not a kid to enjoy it, but only if it's something girly because liking girly things is bad because girliness is inherently bad, and the only things that are good have predominantly male casts*. right? right??? wrong, fucker. g4mlp has so much more in common with adventure time & atla than with blues clues or dora the fucking explora...r.

but keep in mind I'm saying this while hugging a blues clues plushie my grandma gave me for valentine's day because it reminds her of when I was a baby because I may not watch blues clues but it still means a lot to me for nostalgia and is 50% of the reason why I love ray charles. kids media isn't necessarily bad. I still do enjoy watching it with my little sisters. all this is is me being anal about categorization because I'm autistic and I LIVE for categorizing everything.

*besides atla obviously

[yournewhappyplace]

Full PlayLew: Kingdom Hearts

hey so it’s been a while since i really wrote anything about games but recently i bought the Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 + 2.5 - ReMix - collection (not to be confused with Kingdom Hearts 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue you silly goose) which is a collection of Kingdom Hearts, Re:Chain of Memories, Kingdom Hearts II, Birth by Sleep and full cinematics for the two early DS games...that’s a lot of Kingdom Hearts...and because i only owned my first PS2 in 2013, i missed out on the whole Kingdom Hearts shabang! so let's document my first playthrough of the game that started it all; Kingdom Hearts! depending, i might write up a post about all the games as i play them and tell you all what a Birth by Sleep is but for now, let’s keep this Simple And Clean and start with the first game

(warning: spoilers for the game and full on rambling)

So there's a reason why I wanted to get into Kingdom Hearts, asides from Millenial Peer Pressure to understand what Simple And Clean means, cus there's one cutscene I saw from the second game where Goofy gets smacked with a rock and Mickey Mouse in a super hot topic zipped jacket gets really upset and the entire scene is both super melodramatic and absurd at the same time and I REALLY liked that. I really liked the idea of this crossover series from the two biggest giants of it's day, just going 100% extra and hopefully taking its premise to the next level...and it does.

Like, one of the first things you do in this game is meet Wakka from FFX and smack him with a wooden sword and there's a cutscene not further on where Aerith is having a serious discussion with Goofy and Donald Duck about a metaphorical darkness and...it's great. i'm going on about this aspect so much immediately because it's my favourite part of the game. the charm and the balance of touching tribute and ridiculous revelations that Kingdom Hearts achieves with merging its properties.

The actual game itself isn't the showstopper here but it's still worth talking about. It plays like a third person action game where you have all the bearings of it's Final Fantasy brethren with random encounters, leveling up, a party system and summons but the game doesn't load in and out of battles, you just get straight into a brawl on the map and there's no turn based battle system. I gotta give the team credit for wanting to make a different combat system than a lot of similar JRPGs at the time because it really helps give the series its own identity from minute one, with both the system and the keyblade weapon that you use to melee and cast spells with. At first it can be a bit jarring and hard to play. Sometimes the camera feels too tight behind Sora (the dude you play as) and processing the 3D space between you and the enemy can be a bit difficult to judge. Also the tightness means you'll get hit by off-screen attacks quite a bit more than you'd feel fair but once you start to get the hang of fighting through tough battles and slowly gain new spells, like a self heal, and a fuckin roll (!), it starts to click and becomes an enjoyable fighting system. The enemy variety in the game could've been upped to keep it more interesting in the later stages but it feels satisying to blow enemies UP with your keyblade (god I love the keyblade's design so much)...and it's hard not to admit the satisfaction of the one-on-one rival battles. When you're up against a dude the same size as you and he's got a melee weapon as well...it is Fire 100 Turn Up The BBQ.

It's a shame that those type of boss fights only really appear near the end because, for the first half at least, the boss fights aren't too great. The worst boss fights that show up in this game are the ones where the hurtbox of the enemy is on a head or a high part of their body, so as Sora you have to jump up and do an air combo at their hurtbox, hoping the hits connect or that you get your full combo out or the enemy doesn't move as you're jumping or the enemy just doesn't knock you out of it...but most of the time that stuff happens and it makes those boss fights some of the most annoying and unsatisfying. There's one boss fight in perticular, at the end of the Wonderland level, which is pretty much the first proper level of the game, that is really tall and his hurtbox is his main body which is propped up on two huge legs and trying to HIT IT is so tough. If you're on the ground, you have to make sure to jump and start attacking at the height of your combo otherwise you'll hit his legs which means that your attacks will literally bounce off him and you'll be flung to the ground. Even when I did get hits in on his body from jumping off the ground, i'd usually only get one or two hits in before I just hit the ground again and...that's not fun! There's a table in the middle of the arena you can climb onto that gives you a platform to jump off and smack him with but ONE that's just as annoying. having to keep climbing up this table to get three or four hits in, fall to the ground and repeat is bad and TWO the table is destructible by the boss! So he can just destroy it and make it even more annoying! Also he takes reduced damage from the 1 out of 2 spells you have at that time. Ahhhhh!!! And whilst no other boss comes close to being as annoying as that, there's still other bosses that use some of it's Anti-Fun Kata Techniques and they can be pretty unsatisfying.

Also some of the worlds in this game can be hit or miss. In Kingdom Hearts you travel between levels that, at most times, are Disney themed worlds like Neverland, Pumpkin Town and Olympus Collesium. Some of them are literally just 3 or 4 rooms, some are bland and some are downright barbaric like the Tarzan level that makes you travel up and down the level several times to trigger new cutscenes or events to progress the story and it can get really frustrating ESPECIALLY when the game doesn't make it all that clear where you need to go or what you have to do, so you're just hopelessly running around, entering in and out of buildings hoping something changes!

So okay, i've talked about what didn't work in this game BUT worry not, positive vibes are coming in the form of my early point; presentation! The game is a Disney and Final Fantasy crossover and the game's use of those licenses helps prop the game up massively. The Wonderland level, whilst not the most interesting level design wise, is propped up massively by just the very idea of it being Wonderland and everything that comes with it. Fun, colourful imagery! Gimmicks involving being huge and small! Twisted geometry spaces! A purple talking cat! Like the way they use their licenses to create these distinct, colourful, imaginative worlds with a diverse set of characters feels like cheating since they're using already existing brands but it's no lie that this all helps create a game that really feels like you're playing on this large Disneyland rollercoaster that shows you the world! And you're not just going by saying “I recognise the thing! I clapped!”, you're fuckinnnng in the thing! You're interacting with all the things! Sometimes you even kill the things and just twisting the properties onto their heads! Remember that time Clayton from Tarzan got fucking killed by a chameleon crushing him?? Yeah! Me too! It's rad!! Remember that time Hades from Hercules hired Cloud to kill you?? Yeah!! That's what makes this whole thing feel fun and worthwhile and not a simple nostalgia grab or whatever. Cus Disney gave them full license to do whatever they wanted and guess what W E D O  I T said Nomura.

I also love how in certain worlds, aesthetics or even entire systems will change to match it. Like how in Little Mermaid level, you play it completely underwater. They could have made you stick to the bottom of the seabed and play it like a normal level or put you in a sub or whatever but they didn't, instead they change Sora and your parties models so you're a mermaid and you have to instead move using square and circle to go up and down through the water. That's cool! In the Neverland level, you get to fly like Peter Pan through the level and fighting flying pirate ships in the sky as you float is wonderful! And the part at the end where you go to a city level and you fly around the equivalent of Big Ben as the music swells up is one of my highlights from the game...cus it just FELT good in my hands. Even the smaller changes like Sora getting a new, gothed up, halloween costume for the Nightmare Before Christmas level is a cute touch! In a perfect world all of these changes would have happened for the majority of levels but alas.

There's also this Winnie the Pooh world that's probably my favourite. At a part of the game, you get a book that you can access and as you open the book, you find yourself walking around 100 Acre Woods and meeting Winnie the Pooh but the rest of the pages are missing. So as you go through levels, you find these pages for the book and for each page you get a new level of 100 Acre Woods that feels like a light, adventure where you're hanging around with Winnie the Pooh and friends. There's no combat in the levels, it's all just mini-games and talking with Pooh and the cast...and it's wonderful. Not only does it fit the tone of the license, cheerful fun, but the feel of the level from the writing and the adventures just feels...Pooh-like. And then when you get that last page and you get Pooh and all his friends together and they bid you farewell and the book closes to show a picture of Sora holding hands with Pooh...i got emotional man...i really did.

And then there's the other side of the spectrum, from fighting off tears over a really well done, careful use of it's properties to grinning like mad with tears of laughter at the ridiculous use of its property. Okay so like the end of the game is, the greatest. After you defeat the main bad guy (he was a scientist trying to use darkness for power blah blah), you get this scene where Sora and friends find the door to the Kingdom Hearts! The source of all hearts! And in it there are Heartless (the enemies) coming out of it so you have to go and close the door BUT doing it on your own isn't enough so you have to use the help of your friend Riku (he was a friend-turned-rival-turned-back to friend by the end)to shut it BUT! He has to shut it from the other side of the door which means locking himself in with the Heartless and the darkness within it. So he's basically gonna get fucked. And Sora realises this and after refusing to shut the door at Riku's request, he obliges and in an emotional moment goes to push it shut….BUT SHUT THE FUCK UP, DONALD DUCK PEEKS IN THE DOOR AND GOES “WUHHHHH” AND YOU NOTICE MICKEY MOUSE'S ICONIC EARS AND HEAD CAST A SHADOW AND IN AN EXTREMELY MICKEY MOUSE VOICE GOES “HEY SORA!” AND IT'S LIKE FUCKING AWESOME. FUCKING GREAT. EMOTIONAL MOMENT -DEFUSED-, PREY SLAUGHTERED CUS MICKEY MOUSE TALKED. I couldn't stop laughing the whole time and then mickey mouse shuts the door and all is saved. BUT THEN because of complications, Sora has to leave behind his childhood sweeheart Kairi that he saved to go back to her world whilst Sora gets left behind in wherever he is and then Simple And Clean, the main theme, just blast with its cheesy super early 2000's musical sheen as a closing FMV plays where Kairi is crying about missing Sora and everyone is all happy cus they get to see their friends again and it's so...innocent and perhaps naive at what it's doing but it fills me life man. I was singing the lyrics to this RnB track as I thought about the events that just occurred and seeing Pinnochio turn into a real boy and Cloud meet back up with Aerith and maaaaaaaan

That's why I really like Kingdom Hearts. The gameplay is generally fun despite some dips, there's some rewarding treasure hunts despite the level design being bland….on a purely Game perspective, it isn't that special and is probably worse than other 3D platformers of it's time BUT where it really shines and where the charm gets to me in this game is just how much it celebrates and lets you engage with it's crossover. Whether it's trying to evoke a feeling of sadness at a childhood gone by or drama through laughable scenarios involving Disney and Square Enix characters...it's just got real charm and i'm so happy this game exists. I'm even happier that it was successful enough to spawn an entire franchise that still has young kids and grown adults getting hyped for it's next installment. It's a weird kinda magic that I don't think any other game or series has fully replicated. Will the charm wear off I play through more and more of these games? I dunno, we'll see...but for now, Kingdom Hearts, thank you for being really Goofy.

P.S: Simple And Clean is so good

#long post