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#2 it makes me PHYSICALLY sick like this is doing damage on my PHYSICALLY health i dont wanna force myself to ignore that anymore

nayadefenix · 1 month

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With the return of the hater, many are asking me again why he persecuted me too.

Maybe I made a serious mistake like that, you know that Brazilian Latinos are suffering a lot of hate from Europeans and Americans, some not all of them. And the mistake I made was the fact that I said my nationality but everyone has a nationality, be it Brazilian another country, but they tease me a lot about that.

detalle que se escribir español Sé pocas palabras pero estoy aprendiendo.

When I joined scp fadom it was 2022 I made a drawing scp 999, scp 105 and scp 076 and out of nowhere this guy accuses me of pedophilia and attacks me in different ways it was over 2 and a half years ago I think it's because I discovered fadom in June 2022 anyway.

There are many Brazilian artists in fadom scp but they never said their nationalities, I only made this mistake when working with international commissions.

So I deactivated the anonymous asks, I reinforced the security of social networks, a victim if you are a victim, don't be happy about this and the worst things you have, ignore if you take the bait then they will attack you for real, I suffer from the heart and I am deaf, this guy made my health worse.

they want to see you depressed and sad their message is ''I want this person to know that I'm here, and I like to see suffering, as I have nothing better to do I'm going to chase this victim until he gets sick, delete his social networks through bullying.'' so don't be happy That's why making you a ''famous artist'' will damage your mental and physical health. I'm a former victim of bullying and I know what I'm talking about.

To be a famous artist not through hate but through praise, likes, positive and constructive comments, reblogs with positive words and a good relationship with your fans through mutual respect.

What do I have to do in these cases, cancel the anonymous aks, if you see a post with real photos of the victims, report it and block it, don't respond to the insults, not just one hater but several and a very large group, I've already taken the case to the police, they are investigating carefully friends.

@romanomen & @rainbow-star-bright

#scp #cancell hates #no bullyng #bullier #falando #pumkini

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thru-the-looking-glass-caroline · 6 months

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You don't believe it can happen to you - I didn't either...

...Health problems I have to live with caused by the 8 years I struggled with anorexia and orthorexia[and never believed I was "sick enough" for it to happen to me].

I want to preface this post by saying 2 things; First, this post will talk some about eating disorders, although nothing detailed and I will not ever post numbers or anything more obviously upsetting, I do still want to give that warning so if this topic might upset or cause problems for you, do what is good for you and don't continue reading this. Second, I am not a medical or mental health professional. I have no degrees of any kind so this post, like all my others, is purely my experiences, opinions and what I have learned from my doctors over the years. You've been warned now on to the real content/topic...

The past few weeks there has been these nagging thoughts and feelings of some regrets and anger and sadness about how much of my physical health alone eating disorders took from me. I can't go back to change anything but it is something that makes me angry how deceived and distorted someone who is in the depths of an eating disorder can be. For a little back story I struggled with Orthorexia and anorexia for 8 years. The behaviors & obsessions began when I was only 7 years old and I was diagnosed with Orthorexia at age 8 and given a second diagnosis of anorexia at age 10. I stayed in these disorders until I was 15 & only then did I actively pursue and work for recovery. I'm happy to say I have maintained that recovery and a healthy weight since, however, a lot of damage was already done to my body by the time I was 15 and unfortunately much of it was not reversed so I live with many physical health problems caused by anorexia and Orthorexia.

Like many who struggle with eating disorders I was, at different points, told about and warned of the damage it could do to my body, the possible long term consequences of continuing in my disorders. Also like many who struggle with eating disorders I shrugged off these warnings and facts. In my mind none of it would happen to me because I never saw myself as a "sick enough " orthorexic and anorexic to warrant such complications. Now, were there and are there people struggling with eating disorders whose cases would be called more severe and critical than me - yes of course and that is kind of the point- this idea people who struggle with eating disorders have that they have to be the sickest, skinniest, closest to death's door anorexic or orthorexic or whatever to have long term health problems from it or to deserve help or die from their disease is a complete garbage dumpster fire of lies and bullshit! It's not a competition and comparison will destroy! With an eating disorder it will never be enough until it kills you...you will not win anything ‐ or be smiled on, applauded, or envied for dying so thin. No one who knew you will remember you after your death and speak fondly, joyfully or boast about how sick and thin you were. It will not be a positive, admirable, inspiring, happy legacy you will leave if you die sick because of an eating disorder. Your loved ones will suffer, they will be angry about your sickness, angry that you couldn't believe you were sick enough/warranted help. They will be sad and grief stricken and wonder what they could have done differently. They will blame themselves. It's harsh, morbid and very depressing but it is the truth of the legacy you will leave if your eating disorder kills you because you weren't thin enough, sick enough, and you didn't believe any of it could happen to you. You won't die happy and fulfilled because you are thin and sick, you will die depressed, scared, anxious, tortured, and weak just as you were in the eating disorder that deceived you pushing you to hold on to and continue your behaviors, always promising you will be happy when but continually moving that goal- keeping it out of reach because it's never enough with an eating disorder. It's a lie!

Talking to my doctors, I have learned that a good portion of my heart problems were caused by/at least partially caused by years of starvation, malnutrition and stress from my eating disorders. These heart issues include: my heart murmur, mitral valve prolapse and mitral valve regurgitation(which I had to have heart surgery for last year), bradycardia, and thin heart walls! This accounts for every heart health problem I have besides one...it makes me cringe with regret, anger and sadness just to know that.

Anorexia and Orthorexia also caused the irreversible damage and basically shut down of my reproductive system meaning I am sterile/infertile...can not have children. Because I began struggling with eating disorders so young, becoming sick and emaciated/malnourished so quickly and basically remaining in that state or in a declining state for 8 years I have not ever had a period or menstrual cycle and I will not ever due to the damage to my reproductive system. This also caused problems with my bone density and I have osteopenia (basically the beginning stage of osteoporosis) and eventually that will progress into full osteoporosis. I also have permanent damage to my liver caused by my eating disorders.

I hate that I caused so much of my own health struggles and problems and as a result cause my family worry for my health, my well being, and my future. Not to mention the experiences, relationships, strength, health, life, personality, adventure, discovery, zeal, joy, love, rest, dreams the eating disorders took from me and I can't go back and have them.

I am a dancer. Dance is my biggest passion in life and some day I won't be able to dance anymore because the permanent damage and health problems from my eating disorders will end it. My bones will be too brittle and weak to leap and turn and hold a pose, have correct technique. My heart could get weaker- more stressed in time and I will have dance taken from me. I won't be able to follow that dream, to perform. The consequences of eating disorders reach my entire life and that is and/or can be the reality for anyone with an eating disorder who doesn't believe it will happen to them - who doesn't see themselves as sick enough. I did not see it or believe it either and yet this is my reality.

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cavewretch · 1 year

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misdiagnoses fucking SUCK and are TRAUMATIC and i have nowhere else to TALK ABOUT IT as i process this Major Shift i’m experiencing so i’m going to put it here <3

in 2020 i was diagnosed w cirs (chronic inflammatory response syndrome) by a total shithead of a doctor who didn’t believe in covid. OBVIOUSLY i stopped going to him and i started seeing this other cirs specialist (telehealth only). she verified the cirs diagnosis and then we did the whole getting out of exposure thing. that took me a really long time to complete (DUH) bc being told you have to completely uproot your life, get rid of your belongings or at least stay away from them, and either move/do extensive renovation/live in a tent etc to escape exposure is IMPOSSIBLE to complete quickly. i have an old google doc laying out abandoned plans for living in a shed in my backyard. it took a year of a lot of my own research and advocacy til my parents renovated a part of our house for me to live closed off in. i still live there.

living in spaces where you know the air is potentially making you sick but you can’t do anything about it is traumatic and i don’t know when i’ll be able to actually fully process it bc i still don’t feel safe .

anyway. cut to like summer 2022 im still sick, i’ve gotten a Smidge better on these intensive medications and supplements for cirs and living out of this Room, but i still feel like shit and can’t drive or work and get debilitating migraines Very Often. my cirs doctor’s response is i gotta move out of my house or move to arizona or keep eliminating toxins (what toxins. she was telling me the naturally occurring things that our bodies shed were making me sick. ur insane. i’ve been in pure survival animal mode for years now) SO! in november i was like maybe i don’t even fucking have this . shoutout to my friend pointing me towards thebibliosphere on here and my physical therapist who’s an advocate for eds and was able to fr change my life lmao

fast forwarding thru finding new doctors and getting appointments now im diagnosed with eds pots & mcas (getting a bunch of blood work done but yeah mcas) and i’m like ok what do i do now? can i go open the boxes of my books and artwork and other belongings that i packed up in 2020? can i go in the rest of my house? do i have to avoid the majority of buildings bc of potential water damage? can i stop thoroughly cleaning my room of any semblance of dust every 1-2 weeks? do i have to monitor my room’s humidity levels to such a specific range?

i’m doing this like massive reframing of everything i know about myself and the world and my health all at the same time and when i’m not sitting here fully disassociated i’m going fucking CRAZY !!!!!! good GOD !!!!!!! IM SO MAD !!!!!!!!!!!

AND ! to make it all WORSE ! i get booted off my parents insurance in t minus 1 year and 3 months so i have to figure out medicaid and probably apply for disability benefits AGAIN which sucks cuz that’s such a fucking dehumanizing process

at least i have the brain space to make all these fucking ocs (i reach into my pocket and deposit a dozen pinterest boards and scribbled notes into ur hand)

#not to mention all the trauma before even getting chronically ill that i’m also processing #therapy is very busy and from an outside perspective it seems like i’m just wasting away in my room BUT #in reality i am working incredibly hard constantly and don’t even get good sleep or have a concept of time #just this nightmare limbo state of desperate loneliness and frantic self love and indignance and dedication #at my core i believe in myself and it’s keeping me alive #i hope dear reader u have shorten long posts on cuz i can’t find how to insert a read more on mobile #long post #cirs #heds #mcas #pots #chronic illness #sickie notes

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vykko · 9 months

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welcome to me venting about my current health issues

if like weight lose and health issues are like not your thing, gonna want to skip out on this

soooo acid reflux

For almost 2 months I’ve had acid acid reflux

I hate it

so much

um but like my physical and mental health have gotten bad

not bad as in I’m dying or anything but as In

I’m in frequent pain I can’t get rid off and so far me finally get medical health has gotten no results yet

I’ve had to get a blood test where the nurse laughed at me

I’ve lost weight bc I one sometimes can’t keep eating and half bc I don’t want to anymore, it hurts when I eat or I’m uncomfortable

it has effected my sleep

my school work

I’m paler and skinner and I’m not happy about it

I’m always tired, and can’t think

I got a blood test to see if I have celiac (I don’t), and if I have heliobactor polyri

I have to go get another test for heliobactor polyri which meant I had to switch the stuff I take to reduce my stomach acid acidicy

like the one person I know who truly gets it is my best friend who has IBS, they probably have it way worse but it’s nice knowing someone gets having your guts hate you

I’m tired of having my mouth taste foul, and being bloated, and my chest hurting, and having food come back up. And not being able to eat food I like

and it’s not like migraines where I’ve learned to tune them out

it’s just gotten more painful

I don’t win no matter what it is

My teeth are all ready damaged

even if it’s not heliobactor polyri I have to wait 2 more months to see if I still have reflux after I finish the meds

I’m trembly and shaky bc I’ve not eaten enough or dizzy bc I’m so hungry

I want to eat but I can’t

I hate eating now

I want to feel full but if I’m full I hurt

I can’t lay down after eating even after 4-5 hours after eating without pain

I’m so tired of it

But for some unknown reason I don’t want it to stop, I’m so used to it now, the idea of not having it makes me upset

it’s not like I’m getting attention for it

like school makes me so tired I can’t stay awake bc all my energy is gone

I hate burping bc it’s loud and embarrassing, I just want my body to work properly for fucking once

I’m so sick of getting new health issues so often so fate I the last 3 years out of order

Inflamed toe joint, I can’t reverse it

Covid

inflamed joint in my spine, it’s gone now but it hurt for a month

Sinus infection that took me weeks to recover from and my asthma got so bad I have to carry my inhaler with me now which I haven’t needed to do in 8 years

i get sick now super easily

inflamed tmj, now every so often on of them gets upset

probably broken toe I couldn’t get treated till it already had healed

bwing sick over and over

migraines

now acid reflux

Low vitamin d

low potassium

now only just not anemic

Like can my body work for fucking once

#vent post #my health #like jesus christ

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skittybot · 2 years

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Hey guys, did you know in terms of human and Pokémon breeding, neither Vaporeon or Umbreon are the most compatible for humans? I'm actually quite disgusted at the amount of misinformation going around this community relating to them. They're actually both outclassed by another one of their Eeveelutions, Glaceon. Both genders, too. Let me explain. Glaceon is 2 feet and 7 inches tall in height, giving it the perfect composure to fuck. It weighs approximately 57.1 pounds, giving it a small enough weight to move around during fucking, but also enough to not feel too light or too heavy when you're using your dick on it. Glaceon's stat spread is also incredibly versatile for sex, with incredible Defense and Special Defense. It has lackluster Attack, but the best part is its Special Attack. You'll see why later. As an ice type, having such good defenses is incredibly rare. You also might be thinking, "but Ophelia! Your dick would freeze inside of its puss-puss!" This is not true! Here is its Pokédex entry from Pokémon Sun, circa 2016. "It can control its body temperature at will. This enables it to freeze the moisture in the atmosphere, creating flurries of diamond dust." Glaceon can control its body temp at will, so if you don't want your dick to be frozen, you can create the perfect environment for dicking it down by telling it to change its temperature! This way, you can fuck it in so many different ways, temperatures, and more! Now onto its moves, which are also incredibly useful for sex. By level up, it learns Helping Hand. This allows it to increase your fucking power by double, increasing your pleasure times two! It also learns Bite, meaning it can get freaky and tune to whatever shit you like in the bed. Best of all, it can use MIRROR COAT. This means whenever you cum, it can double back the pleasure like a special attack, meaning you'll feel all the pleasure IT had during sex times TWO! Combine this with Helping Hand and you'll be turned into a human cum nozzle! Glaceon also learns Barrier, which if used just thrice, turns it into a massively defensive tank, so it can take physical attacks for days, literal fucking days! It can also use Hail. Now, if you use it outside, it will Hail outside. Go back inside and the Hail won't affect you! Best of all, combine the Hail with Glaceon's ability Ice Body, and it will gradually replenish it's Health Points during a hailstorm! This means it will NEVER fucking stop enduring all your "hits," so you can fuck it over and over and over, combining this with Barrier, and you could probably fuck it for 24 hours straight, if not more! It also learns Baby Doll Eyes, Charm, Captivate, and Yawn, allowing it to get itself right in the mood, along with you too! It even learns Fake Tears, Covet, and Tickle, allowing you to roleplay with it if you're in the mood. It even learns Stored Power, meaning if it uses enough Barriers, it can release all of the Defensive energy it has into, you guessed it, fucking SPECIAL ATTACK!!! And with its absolutely GODLY special attack stat, you'll be drowning in waves of pleasure due to this attack! And it doesn't get rid of the Barrier boosts, so as long as you have enough ethers, it can do this over and over WHILE you're fucking it! Hell, it even learns attract, which makes you fall so deeply in love with it that you'll be in a trance of fucking! It can take charge with that as well and use your love to make it fuck it how IT wants! Which means it's not just pleasurable for you, it's also pleasurable for your Glaceon! It even learns Aurora Veil, which in the Hail, protects it even fucking MORE from taking too much damage! Combine this with Ice Body and Barrier and you can fuck it for decades without either of you ever getting tired! Glaceon also learns refresh, so if that wasn't enough, it can never get sick while you're fucking it, protecting you from any and all STIs and STDs! I rest my case, Glaceon is the BEST Pokémon you can fuck.

mazzy im not fuckin the terf bangs eeveelution and u cant make me change my mind

#asks #mazinautumn #ask game #cringe ask game

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holocene-sims · 1 year

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next // previous

june 25, 2021 2:00 p.m. newcrest counseling center

[margot] before i forget, i got you a few books…

[grant] oh really?

[margot] i give all my trauma patients books at some point. so here you are. these will get you started. the first one is a really great in-depth look at trauma as a historical and inherited process and it's called "it didn't start with you." and the second one is a new book that was recommended to me.

[margot] i'm so glad you happened to mention that the previous exercise worked for you because that second book is a thirty day challenge. maybe start on it the first of july. every day, open it up and do that day’s exercise. each one is different and targets a lot of various topics. some are pretty heavy, some of them are lighter and more fun. i thought you might appreciate that. it’s also a little bit more regimented, since you seem to like having something specific to work on towards versus doing open-ended work.

[grant] i'm actually really surprised "the body keeps the score" isn’t in here. i hear about that one all the time.

[margot] it is an excellent book, but i don’t think that’s the book for you. you’re welcome to read it on your own time, but i'd recommend you don’t.

[grant] why? just curious.

[margot] it’s a very hard-hitting book. my clients who have read it say they struggle to tackle more than a couple pages at a time. most importantly, the main theme of that book is how trauma makes us sick…

[grant] and i have an incurable autoimmune disease because of trauma.

[margot] exactly.

[grant] you know, getting diagnosed with that was the only reason i came to decide i need professional help for my trauma and mental health issues. if i hadn’t, i would have persevered on without help.

[margot] really? i didn't know that was your big reason why.

[grant] if you want the full explanation, i'll give it to you.

[margot] sure, go ahead.

[grant] i've been physically ill for a long time. i remember getting sick right after my oldest sister died. it just came out of nowhere. i woke up and my whole body was nonfunctional for a few days. i couldn’t even get out of bed. no one knew what was wrong with me, though it’s not like my parents even cared. they thought i was being dramatic.

[grant] and then i stayed sick. i can’t remember the last time my body didn’t hurt. but no one listened because i've always remained able to function in daily life until i obviously injured my back at work. then finally a doctor had to put me through imaging instead of dismissing me.

[grant] and what do you know, they were stunned to see such a severe case of my disease. they told me that people my age with my disease don’t usually have half their spine fused together already. i guess that’s more common when you get older, like middle age and up, but mine was already terrible. it was so bad they made me go see a functional medicine doctor to figure out why. of course it was trauma and inflammation.

[grant] that information didn't make me ecstatic. i've been through the ringer, some of it my fault and some of it not, but i got mad at myself and wondered i could have avoided getting sick if i'd done better and been nicer to myself and my body, or if things had been different in my life.

[margot] precisely why you don’t need that book. you already know that trauma makes you sick. all that book is going to do is make you feel worse. we can’t go back in time and undo the damage. you’ll only further resent that your health was destroyed and resentment is already such a troubling part of trauma.

[margot] there are some great passages or quotes in there, but it’s not worth it. i could easily just give you the good cuts out of it.

[grant] well, thank you so much for these. i really appreciate it. i'll for sure start on the thirty day thing first thing next month. any recommendations for how to do it?

[margot] no, you just answer the prompts or do the exercises however you see fit, and you can do whatever you need to get you thinking or ready to write. the only thing i'd maybe recommend is getting yourself a nice journal to write everything in. my clients said it was a lot more impactful to have something dedicated for it instead of typing it or putting it on a random loose sheet of paper.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #ts4 screenshots #simblr #hlcn: everything the stars promised #we're in the brief phase i like to call 'establishing backstory mode'#i mean okay backstory is ALWAYS important here but jgkfdjgklfdgd #holocene.docx #holocene.png #hlcn: grant #hlcn: margot

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hbelcherarts246-01 · 3 months

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Process & Reflection (Week 7)

Text Reflection

This week's chapter of the text discussed several very interesting typographic concepts, specifically concepts that pertain to the evolution of typographic technology.

I found it really interesting to read about the evolution of typographic design, from its very basic origins to its refined and versatile modern form. I especially found phototypesetting to be a really interesting method of designing typefaces. I had never heard of this method before reading this chapter, and I think it is something I would like to try someday.

I also found the brief section about the world of possibilities that modern screen-based typography has opened up for graphic designers interesting. The images reminded me of an article I recently read about the new standard, so to speak, for resumes and cover letters. While we've all been taught for years to develop an eye-catching and professional resume to get the attention of potential employers, with the introduction of AI algorithms, this is no longer the best idea.

If you include graphics or other interesting elements, such as a versatile and interesting display font, the AI algorithms will skip over your resume, costing you a job. This is particularly devastating to creatives looking for professional work because creative resumes and portfolios have always been the unquestioned norm.

I know that this train of thought is a bit tangential, but the side-by-side comparison in the textbook of what web-based typography used to look like at its very beginnings versus what it looks like nowadays was very striking. It’s upsetting and confusing that we have, with the introduction of AI, somehow gone backward.

Process

This is the part of the blog that I have been very anxious to write about. I don't want to overshare with strangers on the internet, but it’s been a difficult month.

I've been struggling with mental health as a result of a “domino effect” of family crises that all happened over the span of the last 2 weeks. I’ve been living in fight or flight the last few weeks because terrifying, unreal-feeling things keep happening and I feel like my family and world are falling apart.

My dad got sick a few months after I started college and he’s been in and out of the hospital ever since then. A few weeks ago, he was admitted to the ICU. My mom didn’t say anything about it to me until a week later, when he caught an infection from the hospital.

My boyfriend took a day off work to drive me to the hospital where my dad was originally admitted. I got to see my brothers, which was a little comforting. I’m so grateful to have them and my boyfriend. They keep me grounded and I really hope I do the same for them.

I tried to fill in as a parent and be there for my brothers as much as I could, but I’m bad at comforting people. I’m still trying to be there for them, even though I’m back in Columbia now. My mom has been in a New Jersey mental health facility since November, so they’re alone.

My dad is in a different hospital now, but it’s a much cleaner one than the first. He’s still fighting off the infection he caught from the other hospital.

I haven’t been sleeping and I'm exhausted. I’ve been spending most of my “down time” struggling to keep up with my classes’ assignments and projects. I feel like I’ve fallen behind. I’ve neglected a lot of other responsibilities like taking care of my physical health.

I'm just trying to do damage control at this point. I spoke to one of my professors about what my next steps should be, but I need to speak to my other professors still. I'm going to email/possibly meet with my advisor as well, because she helped me make it through a similar emergency with my family last year. I have an appointment at the Student Health Center on March 4th for counseling, which I need right now.

There's honestly nothing I want more than to go back to normal, sleep, and try to deal with what's happening and how I'm feeling through my projects.

Past project; original music festival logo on left and revised/final version on left.

Current project; envelope experiments (top) and pattern/typeface mood board (bottom).

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dmcoffee · 1 year

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Journal is packed away but I need brain clarity.

I think I am sitting pretty between panic and disassociation, so here's me whinging about the chaos to get it of my brain because I cannot find my journal atm.

So! RV's got hiccups. Some of this I expected. My range of solutions and subsequent picking of more mechanically minded individuals brains has netted me bumpkis atm. (Pretty sure there's an electrical issue. Alternator is my guess.) My tools are limited. My funds are limited at this precise moment. (And I have to make sure I'm careful about keeping gas money available so I can work.)

And I haven't been able to really get in there and so any work sealing up holes, because current elevation and lack of a ladder prevents me from monkeying all over it. Still missing two massive windows, rendering it unsafe to use for sleeping atm. And I cannot move it to work on it. I did run some primer on the inside and treated some of the wood pieces (I think I can get by on 1-2 small spackle cans here, the damage there is minor.)

Packing is slow and overwhelming. I think its emotional, but I'll bear it in mind next time I have to go see the doctor. Considering how much my other siblings are getting fascinating diagnosis's recently, there's a chance I too may be not as balanced as I could be with medication or some other accommodation.

Right now however, it's like pulling teeth. And I'm physically exhausted. Pretty sure I've managed to remember all the meals I need to eat. Have more going now because I felt hungry, so I'm trusting that. Also good way to get rid of perishables.

Technically I should be out tomorrow. IDK how the hell that's gonna look. There is still so. much. stuff. And only the van to put what I'm keeping into it.

This place needs to be cleaned too. I'm not sure I can let myself be petty enough to leave it as this guy's problem, even if he is a shit landlord.

I also think I might be getting sick. I'm hoping that this fatigue and that feeling in the back of my throat are all just from stress and allergies. I can't afford to get sick. (I'm an American, duh.)

The really crappy part is I might have to ask to stay at someone's for a while. With my cat...

I do not want to do that. Logically I know that even with it being a temporary thing, it's a big ask. And my friends have said that's a better alternative to me sleeping out of my car...I just feel incredibly frustrated and ashamed to have to reach out.

I've reviewed everything I know about what's happened, and aside from some minor tweaks, I don't think I could've avoided this outcome though...

The mental health had to be addressed. The meds were from my doctor. The side effects weren't caused by anything I did. And I physically could not keep up. My job hunt was long and difficult. I interviewed for the same position at the same store 3 times! And they're still "hiring.". (How???? The place was always packed with eager applicants too.) I wasn't being picky, I just picked whatever I could do that would cover my rent. Not enough.

I had 6 months put back for emergencies like this. It wasn't enough.

I partially paid the landlord and kept him in the loop. (Something he didn't do for me, I might add.)

And then when I looked into what to do once he gave me my two weeks, I lucked into the RV deal. Because rent's too high or with unknown roommates. (Bonus points for them being college guys. I'm don't want to room with guys I don't know. Did ask 1 person I knew, but we couldn't make that happen.)

All in all? It all makes sense. It all sucks. And at most I could've...applied more than just 10 apps per day? That's it, I think...

Yet I still feel guilty, like I didn't do enough, because that's how I was taught you're supposed to think of people. If you can't see them burning themselves out first, then they clearly aren't trying, and are probably just mooches and manipulators. (Ironically, I can't hold this opinion of others, but I sure as hell apply it to myself.)

Even though a few steps here and there might've forestalled worse consequences. (I guess I could've asked for help to pay rent until I found a job, but...I hate that. Intensely.)

So I'm starting to fizzle a bit and I'm going to have to ask, and I hate that. So I'm mad with my situation. Frustrated that I'm not an island and the cool self-sufficient adult I've heard about in grown-ups myths. Mostly I just feel like a very sad houseplant. IDK....

#I'm still looking forward to getting the RV into shape #but there's the here and now to think about too #and it's a littttttle grim at the moment #food and sleep will help #right?#right.#delete later

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phantomrose96 · 2 years

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cursed as it sounds I just discovered a Breach of Trust here recently and it's kinda left me in shock, it's just so, so incredible! I can't believe I missed out on such a huge and awesome part of this fandom!! I've enjoyed every single chapter and I just wanted to let you know how incredible you are!! also I was just wondering (and I apologize if anyone else has already asked this) but is there any specific reason you decided to start writing it again after your hiatus? Or was it just curiosity?

(ABoT)

Ahhh!!!! (。・ω・。) Thank you!!

As for specific reason I started writing again, honestly I never stopped wanting to write it. I go into more detail in my response to this ask, but the long and short of it is that ABoT got massive backlash on tumblr from a small group of people who were sick of hearing about it, and they stirred the backlash up into a huge aggressive thing. I pretty much vanished from tumblr for the 3 years after that. When I was here, it was mainly for silent reblogs, and pretty much no fic writing.

And it absolutely broke my heart because I really loved ABoT and wanted to see it through. But between the stress of its popularity and backlash I had to drop it. And when mp100 s2 aired, the hate campaign came back in full swing without me even doing anything, so I figured they just kind of won. That if I ever DID try to bring it back, my audience would be gone and the detractors would be waiting eagerly.

Fast forward to summer 2020, I got into the swing of trying to work on some stuff with myself. Like hey I'm stuck alone with just me now 24/7, may as well try to fix this bitch a little bit. (Okay so it wasn't quite that simple but) I was trying to cut ties with a bad habit that had been damaging my health for a long time and also had been taking up a lot of my mental and physical energy. So I now had this void I needed to stuff with positive things in order to not backslide and I guess in sort of a fit of self-compassion I was like "fuck it, actually, what do I have to lose???" and started drafting chapter 25 of ABoT.

Because I'd really never stopped planning it. Hell I had a few fresh jokes I'd come up with that were making me laugh, and a new album I was running to which really set the right mood for planning more of ABoT. And I just kinda worked up the courage to do it and deal with whatever backlash happened.

And what do you know! No backlash! Because the ring leaders had gone elsewhere or self-destructed their friend group or both or either or I don't care, really. I brought ABoT off hiatus about a year and a half ago and in that time I've received like 2 or 3 snide anons. Because, if I may be blunt, ABoT and its contents were never the problem. These people were just fucking sick of seeing me. Rent free, something something, I dunno.

And now we're here! Closing in on the finale arc of ABoT. Only took 335,000 words and 5.5 years to get here. Absolute record time. Speedrun strats.

#ask #abot

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thru-the-looking-glass-caroline · 1 year

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Hyperthyroidism part 2 of 2

With hyperthyroidism there are certain things I have to be aware of in order to avoid causing a flare which could make me very sick for instance eating alot of fish and seafood like crab or lobster even though I love those foods they can cause my thyroid problems to act up worse. I have to keep my dairy, soy and gluten in take to a minimum as well as certain vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower and spinach. I also have to really watch my salt intake. These are all things that could trigger worse problems and flare ups with my thyroid and potentially cause me some major health repercussions. Trying to just avoid dairy and gluten alone makes grocery shopping stressful sometimes and more expensive. The combination of hyperthyroidism and malabsorption syndrome makes it hard for my body to get essential nutrients and vitamins and this causes deficiencies, some of which can cause serious damage to my body and organs and if not caught and treated have real potential to kill me. This is why I get blood work and tests done regularly [most of the time once a week] because my potassium is a continuous concern along with my magnesium, iron, vitamin D, Calcium, and zinc. These are the nutrients, vitamins and minerals I seem to end up deficient of more often than not. Usually these deficiencies happen quickly and drop dangerously low fast for me which usually requires me to be admitted into the hospital. Some of the potential outcomes to these deficiencies are: heart attack, stroke, heart failure, breathing and lung problems, weakened immune system making a person more susceptible to infection and the inability to fight it off, cuts and wounds that do not heal, developing diabetes, kidney problems/failure, developing osteoporosis, loss of taste, loss of smell, & loss of eye sight. I would be a liar if I said these things don't scare me if I allow myself to think on them too long.

Another thing I have learned I have to do different because of hyperthyroidism is I have to consume a lot more food than most - especially since I play sports and dance and have a very active lifestyle in addition to having hyperthyroidism and malabsorption syndrome I burn off what I consume very quickly and my body has a difficult time absorbing the nutrients it needs so I eat about every 2 hours. I have to have nutritional supplement drinks prescribed by doctor multiple times a day. I also take a lot of vitamins and supplements I am prescribed.

By far the hardest thing I've had to learn to do is to be aware of how and what I feel physically. It's important for me to be able to recognize the signs in my body that could mean I am dealing with an extreme deficiency so I can get treatment. This ability is something extremely unnatural and sometimes distressing for someone like me because I prefer to live disconnected and disassociated from my body because of PTSD. My mind and emotions really hate being in my body but I have to remind myself that the alternative is potentially suffering a heart attack due to a potassium deficiency or some other deficiency and I could die. I have to choose the uncomfortable, unpleasant thoughts and emotions over disassociating from my body and putting my life at risk. It is a mentally and emotionally draining battle for me but it is worth it because I do enjoy living and there is a hell of a lot more of that to be done!

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softitae · 4 years

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S o u l m a t e | oneshot

▶ summary: One day you feel a heath spreading through your body. You don’t know what this means, until you finally see him... Your soulmate.

▶ genre: slight angst, fluff, smut (Wolf!au | soulmate!au)

▶ word count:

▶ warnings: Alpha Jungkook, Omega reader, mentions of rape/drugs, physical pain, heath, impregnating, mating, knotting, imprinting, oral, swearing, degrading, wall-sex, floor-sex, choking.

▶ A/N: heyyy, this is my first story on this account :). Hope y’all will like it! Basically is this just a story about wolf soulmates going at it, sooooo... enjoy? HAHA

It was a hot and blooming summer when it happened. It was late noon when you were quitely washing some dishes in your apartment. It was indeed quiet, even peacefully I might add. The water was rushing over a cup as you were working hard on removing that one irritating spot. The day had been just as placid. You have run your errands after meeting up with some friends at a local park.

‘You are looking a bit pale y/n, are you okay?’ your best friend asked. You frown at her, ‘Yeah I am alright’. You replied, but you deep down knew something was up. Since the moment you had stepped out of your bed that morning, your senses were heightened. Something was coming, but you couldn’t quite figure out if this were to be positive or negative. You had shrugged off this creeping feeling for the rest of the day. With every minute you could feel it getting worse, but you continued shrugging it off. ‘It must be a little summer flue...’ You had mumbled to yourself as you were trying to focus back on your dishes.

You couldn’t really describe it. It was this heath from your core, burning hotter by the second. It wasn’t anything like your heath, because you have had those a few times already. It wasn’t the time for it too, so why are you feeling this strong urge? And what is the urge for? These kind of questions kept popping up in your head as you finally finished your duties for the day. It was only when you put away the last dish, you yelled very loudly.

Your body was suddenly on fire from the inside and you couldn’t help yourself but to let yourself lay down on the cold floor. Your pulse was high and your body was covered in sweat. ‘What the fuck is going on?’ you yelled out, trying to get a grip on yourself. It wasn’t long before you totally blacked out, losing to the strong sickening feeling.

‘What the hell happened?’ Jimin asks Jungkook worryingly as Jungkook finally opened his eyes . Jungkook sits up first, rubbing his eyes as his vision was a bit blurry. He looks up to his towering older friend Jimin, frowning as he tries to stabalize his body. ‘You just suddenly blacked out’, Jimin elaborates and that made Jungkook even more confused. Jungkook looks around him and notices they are located on a sidewalk near the center of the city. Jungkook tries to recall what had happened before he blacked out, but couldn’t remember anything about a life-threatening situation. As he is an alpha, it also couldn’t be his health. So what happened?

‘I really don’t know hyung, the only thing that I can remember is that I have had a weird feeling all day’, Jungkook explains as Jimin helps him get up to his feet. ‘What sort of feeling?’ Jimin asks. ‘Well, I just feel some kind of heath in my core and a weird urge to go east.’. Jimin looks even more confused than before. They both continued to walk down the street, heading to their new apartment they had bought together. ‘I don’t know man, maybe there is some coke left in your system from yesterday’, Jimin laughed as he gave Jungkook a pat on the shoulder. Jungkook hissed at that, showing that Jimin has gone too close to his boundaries. Though Jimin is older, Jungkook is the alpha and will always hold authority.

Jimin and Jungkook both came from the same school and both their packs were very close with each other, so they connected in a very brotherly way. Jimin as a beta and Jungkook as an alpha. Their classes would clash pretty much all the time and would Jungkook have to correct Jimin more often than not. But for a pack is this pretty normal. It is also Jungkook’s job to keep everyone in place and to make them aware who is the boss. Though this is a very primary instinct of Jungkook, it isn’t something he likes to do. He only corrects his pack when he has to.

‘The only thing I can imagine is that your soulmate is nearby’, Jimin suggested and Jungkook let out a little chuckle. ‘That rarely ever happens and I can hardly imagine it would make me faint’, he reasons and Jimin agrees.

They finally arrive at the apartment block as Jungkook can feel the same heath returning to his body. His senses have now shifted to the north, as if the thing he urges has moved. He looks confused around him. There is no person to be seen, only a few buildings. He couldn’t help but to set his focus on the north, looking at the building across. He can feel it, he is supposed to be there. But why? What can be in that building that is this important, that every fiber in his body urges for it?

A loud uneasy noise fills your room just when the light of dawn hits your window. Early, it is very early. You haven’t been awake this early for 2 months when your school year ended. But here you are again, up and ready to begin a new year. Though you are excited for it, the uneasy feeling hasn’t left you. It didn’t go down at all, maybe it even worsened. You hadn’t fainted from it though, like a week back. Luckily your roommate came home just a few minutes after, discovering your body laying helplessly against the kitchen tiles. She is human and in a world where the wolves are hidden, her logical response was to call the emergency number.

The separation of the two kinds has been here for a long time. The threat your kind holds over the humans always has been a big problem. Many wars have past for the wolves to realize that humans can’t live with the idea of a superior species living among them. With technology still developing, which could make great damage to you, was there a collective decision to hide for the humans. As centuries past, humans were quick to forget the many wars you have fought.

Many believe werewolves are just a fable and you like to keep it this way. So when your roommate was waiting for the ambulance to arrive and you came back to your senses, you were quick to call off the ambulance. ‘What are you doing? You just blacked out, you need medical help!’, your roommate yelled out in disbelieve. You tried to explain nothing is going on and you weren’t in any sort of pain. ‘I just haven’t eaten yet today, nothing else’. It took you a while to calm her down and you can’t blame her. You would probably react the same way if it was you who found her like that. A wolf is just way stronger and build different, so when they would examine you in the hospital, someone would definitely get suspicious.

The past week your roommate has been keeping an eye on you. She made sure you were eating enough. It is like having a mother all over again, while it was your intention to escape being nursed all the time. Although you got quite annoyed with her this past week, you couldn’t help but to appreciate her at the same time. What a world it would be if humans could live without fear for your kind like this. Needing such harsh adjustments to the point you can’t be who you are, only to protect yourself is just lunatic. But it is a rule all packs live by and you aren’t one to break these rules.

Your feet hit the cold wooden floor of your cozy room. 7:00 am, reads your alarm clock located on your nightstand. A sigh leaves your lips as you build up the courage to begin the day. Your first day of the new school year was going to be promising. A lot of classes are added and you will be with a new group of people. Your old class was great too, but you are in need for some change. With this constant burning feeling in your core you have had for the past week, you know something will definitely be different.

You go along your usual morning routine before picking your new favurite outfit. You packed your books and got out to the living room, where your roommate was peacefully eating some cereal.

‘Good morning!’, you great her, and she throws you a smile back. ‘Morning babe! You are looking so great!’, She comments, nudging at your clothing. You give her a wink,’Yeah I got it last week, thought I give myself a few nice things before starting the school year’. Your roommate agrees before she resumed eating her breakfast.

Jimin sighs upon seeing Jungkook’s sweaty body. He is cramped up in his bed, a frown on his face as he made little wines in his sleep. Tossing and turning has been a reoccurring theme these past few days. Jimin doesn’t know what to do with him. It looks like he is sick, but being a very strong guy and an alpha, is sickness very rare. So what’s going on?

He gives Jungkook a small nudge on his shoulder, waking him up softly. Jimin isn’t about to make the same mistake as yesterday. Jimin woke up Jungkook a bit more aggressive and Jungkook lashed out immediately, giving Jimin a little cut on his cheek. He would have pouted at Jungkook, whom would apologize for his weird behavior.

‘First day at school Cookie, get up’, he taunted in his ear, lowering to Jungkook’s level. Jungkook grunted as he slowly wakes up, turning around to look at his hyung. He lets out a sigh before sitting up straight, hands finding his face as he rubs his eyes. ‘Hyung I can’t do this any longer, my body feels so hot all the time’, Jungkook starts complaining and Jimin sits next to him, sighing along. ‘I know Jungkookie, but I am sure it will fly over. Maybe today will get your mind on other things’, Jimin says, trying to elevate the mood. Jungkook lets out a growl under his breath, anger suddenly building up in his body. Jimin immediately gets off the bed to give Jungkook space, which was a right move because Jungkook grabs a book laying beside him before throwing it through the room. ‘I just don’t fucking want this anymore! Why is this happening to me?!’, Jungkook yells in frustration. Jimin sighs again ‘I don’t know Jungkook, but acting like this won’t solve anything. Why don’t you focus on your new school? There will be a lot of great omega’s there for you to get your anger out on’, Jimin suggested, and he notices Jungkook’s ears perking up by that. Jimin chuckles before making his way out of the room. ‘I guess that wouldn’t hurt’, Jungkook mutters under his breath before getting out of bed and starting his day with a shower.

It’s 8:30 am when you arrive at your first class of the day. A few other students were already seated in the lecture hall. You could smell the difference of people looming around. A few humans, but also a few wolves were located inside the room. As you are an omega yourself, some wolves stand a threat against you. Though you have learned how to avoid other alpha’s and beta’s, you have had your fair share of degrading in your life. But because you are in a room full of humans, degrading isn’t allowed for any of the wolves. That way your species gets protected. So you aren’t scared to walk into a lecture hall full of wolves, because you know they won’t do anything.

You take a seat somewhere in the middle where no one is around and start to unpack. It was when you were finished setting up, your brewing hotness of the past week suddenly turns up a notch. You frown at yourself as you feel your stomach. Your skin is somewhat on fire and you begin to feel very uncomfortable. You wiggle around on your spot, almost squirming at this feeling. The thing you have urged for is coming closer. You begin to look around you furiously, but not knowing what you’re looking for. Fuck what is going on with me.

And it was then that it hits you. A story your grandma told you long ago finally serviced. She told you about having a soulmate and that everyone has them. When they come closer, your whole body comes in action. You have the urge to go to them and if you don’t, your body will try to fight your will. She explained that every soulmate couple has a different reaction to that. For her and grandpa it was feeling a very harsh headache. For you it was heath. It is your soulmate, it has to be your soulmate. Are you even ready for this? Do you want to commit to someone this early on? What if he is aggressive or worse, what is he’s an alpha? That won’t be a happy relationship, that will be endless terror.

As the heath began spreading through your body and your head spinning with horrific thoughts, you automaticlly started packing all your stuff. You were scared for what might come, what person your soulmate might be. It might be the end of you, but you know just as well that the feeling won’t stop until you see him. So, you will see him, for one second and then you will go your separate ways.

Then the feeling suddenly stopped. A shiver goes through your body as you look at the entrance door. There he is. Your hearth started to race as the both of you looked at one another, inspecting each others features. The first thing you notice is the glow around his body, something you have never seen with anyone else. He looks like some kind of Norse god. He is also tall, muscular and... You take a small sniff his way... he is an alpha. Though that thought saddens you, you can’t help yourself but be mesmerized by his enchanting features. This is it, this is your soulmate. But this won’t be something to be happy about, he is an alpha and you know about the horrifying stories. They aren’t nice to their soulmates and being an omega is only worse. So with that note, you stand up, cutting off your eye contact and walking towards the opposite exit.

Jungkook stands there dumbfounded. He looks at you as you walk away. Your beautiful figure just disappearing behind the exit door. Jimin nudges him, getting Jungkook out of his trans. ‘So I guess it was a soulmate think’, Jimin comments and Jungkook nods slowly. ‘Yeah, I guess’. Jungkook kept staring at the door, not getting out of his trans. The moment he saw you, his burning feeling stopped. Instead, something else far more romantic and sexual opened. The urge has now turned so primal that he couldn’t do anything than staring. If he had made a step towards you, he would’ve turned on his wolf. That’s why he choice to let you walk out of that room. He isn’t ever letting you go away again after this, and he was going to make you aware of that.

‘Go after her Cookie’, Jimin says as he nudges Jungkook again. With that Jungkook comes out of his train of thought and starts running out of the classroom. He wasn’t going to let you leave. You were now his, you aren’t allowed to leave. All these thoughts ran through Jungkook’s head as he sprinted through the school. His eyes turned blue as his wolf tried to get out, so he had to hide them when running past humans. He needed to claim you within the hour and finding you wouldn’t be an issue. Your scent has been planted in his brain while the both of you were staring at one another. He knew you were close, but you were also running. A smirk was creeping up his face, kind of liking the chase. You are putting up a fight, meaning you will be able to handle his alpha side. He needs someone to fight, otherwise it will just be boring.

You almost let your keys fall when you try to open your front door. You can smell him getting closer with the second. It’s as if you can locate his being, which is not something you were ever able to do on such distance. You were quick to close the door behind you and to run to your room. Somehow you feel like you can’t hide within your apartment, as if he is already here. But how? How did he get in? You scan your room, but then your heart stops. His body radiates behind your body and you feel is breath tickle your neck. This is it, now he will rape you. He will make you his bitch and you won’t ever get to live another happy day. Your eyes close in fear and your whole body stiffens against his body.

You waited. You are expecting for him to pick you up and throw you on the bed. But nothing comes. Not after one minute, two minutes. You feel yourself calm down as time passes by. Why is he not doing anything? Is he just waiting until I let my guard down before attacking me? Is he maybe different? No he can’t be, all alphas want is to ruin omegas.

5 minutes passes with him standing behind you and not doing anything. Then you felt something else creeping up your spine. Something you didn’t let through because of your anguish towards him. It feels very sexual, very primal and romantic. The urge you felt towards him has returned, but in a way that you only witness during heath. Although heath is way more sexual, this goes beyond that. Your heart starts racing again, but this time it isn’t because you are scared. You long for him. You r whole being wants to be with him, but you can’t help yourself but to rationalize against it. No, they are all bad.

He sighs against your neck, causing pleasure to shoot through your body. You can’t stop your shivers and the heath that is growing between your legs. It’s an instinct so deep within you, there is no use stopping it. He reacts with a chuckle as he lets a hand slide over your delicate waist. ‘Why were you scared?’, he asks and you immediately notice his soft but low arousing voice. Every fiber on your body is heightened and his little touches aren’t helping you in any way. Trying to focus on his question, you answer: ‘You’re an alpha. I am scared you will treat me bad’. Jungkook frowns at your thought, knowing that he won’t ever hurt you in his life. It has only been a 30 minutes since he had met you, but the way he feels about you is indescribable. It’s a feeling of protectiveness, love and urge that combines his feelings for you. He will not ever hurt you.

‘What you feel right now, is what I also feel. I will never hurt you’.

Though this might be an empty promise, you can feel he is speaking the truth. With that you dare to turn around to face him, him keeping his hand around your waist. His handsome eyes immediately find yours. You can finally memorize all his closest features he has to offer. His facial features are amazingly handsome and his lips look so kissable. You can’t help but to reach up to his soft fluffy hair, grabbing the ear band that hides his soft wolf features. He is a black wolf with blue eyes, an amazing combination and you can’t help but to feel the need to mate with him. Your offspring will be so strong and beautiful. Your hand moves down to his cheek, which he leans his head against, closing his eyes in approval.

‘Your name?’, you ask as you pull your hand away. ‘Jeon Jungkook, you?’, he questions and you instantly remember his packs name. It’s a pretty large and respectable pack, something you aren’t apposed to. ‘I am y/full/n’, you answer, and he smiles at hearing the familiar pack names. Though the packs aren’t close, they won’t be mad about this. Everything just seems aligned.

He takes a little step closer as his hand now rests on your back, pressing you against his chest. You don’t fear him anymore and you feel comfortable being in his arms. ‘I know we just met, but I have the strongest urge I to claim you right now’, he confesses. And it was then that you felt something grow against your pelvis. You can’t help but to snort at that, but at the same time you felt the same thing. It’s as if you need to seal the deal. He needs to imprint himself in you, so everyone knows who you belong to. The thought of that spread a heath throughout your body. Jungkook smiled at you as he notices your body heath going up and your heartbeat racing. ‘I take that as a positive’.

He pulls you up by your waist as he swings you over his shoulder. He closes the door of your room before letting you fall on the bed. You can’t help but admire the way he easily pulled you up like that. Your omega wolf felt protected and only an alpha like Jungkook could make you feel this way. He pulls off his shirt he was wearing before joining you on the bed. Your eyes take in all of his muscular torso, knowing he will be railing you with it in just a few minutes.

He pulls apart your legs before positioning between them. You eagerly want to hold on to him, but he was quick to grab your wrists and plant them beside your head. You are taken aback by his action as a small yelp left your lips. ‘You really think I wasn’t going to punish you for the little escape you pulled?’ He taunted as he leans down beside your ear. His breath fanning against your neck got you shivering all over again and your pussy started to throb under his body. You could practically feel Jungkook’s smirk as he knew what effect he has on you. Though you want to wipe that smirk off his face, you knew he was right. You were disobedient and the alpha needs to put you in your place. Luckily is his punishment not that bad.

‘Good girl’, he purrs in your ear, complimenting your behavior. ‘You will do as I please when I fuck this little body of yours, okay?’. You nod eagerly, wanting him to do everything to you. It’s in your blood to obey him and this way you both get what you want.

He let go of your wrists and takes a little bit of time to take all of your clothed body in. Your eyes look so desperate and oh... the sweet smell of your pussy waving in the air drives him crazy. Jungkook lets out a very low grunt, making your body ache for him. You let out a whine as you begin to fidget on the spot, uncomfortably trying to releave yourself He was quick to growl at you, signing that you can’t move and you have to obey him.

‘You desperate little bitch, you want to get fucked so badly?’, he asks and you nod. ‘Use your words’, he commands. ‘Yes alpha...’. He smirks pleased, before he grabs your top and rips it off of you. You let out a small yelp, but before you knew it you were in your underwear and your clothing ripped on the floor. Though you normally would care for this, you were so ready to be mated that you really didn’t mind. He flips you around on your belly before propping your ass up in the air. His clothed length found its way against your ass as he started dry humping against you. You couldn’t help but moan upon feeling his cock gliding against your pussy. instinctively you arch your back further against his cock, making you feel his amazing length. He is for sure large and will fill you up so good.

‘Hmm, you like that baby? You want this cock to fill you up?’ He purrs before laying his upper body against your back. He began leaving kisses on your neck, making your body shiver. Small moans leave your mouth, feeling so happy to be close to him. Jungkook also lets out groans against your skin and you can’t wait for him to give you his pups.

‘Please’, you start begging as his cock doesn’t stop teasing you. He chuckles against you, loving to tease you like this. ‘You want my cock?’, he asks as he grabs your neck from behind. You could barely get a ‘yes’ out, but it was enough for him to pull down your panties and prop your ass higher up in the air. ‘Let me first get my appetizer’, he grunts upon seeing your soaked pussy. You let your upper body rest against the bed as you arch your ass higher into the air, giving him a better view. You can hear him growling by seeing your action, he loves it. The smell of your pussy overwhelms him, he has never had something so sweet like this before.

He spreads your cheeks further apart before laying his tongue right on your clit. He didn’t need a second try to find the little bud and immediately started making small circles around it. Your whole body reacted to it and you let out a moan. His tongue caused shocks to go through your body. You knew he liked this reaction, because one of his hands began to squeeze your ass. The growls coming from his being were still filling the room, as if he is eating a caught pray.

Suddenly his tongue finds its way upwards, slowly licking all the juices off your pussy before settling on your entrance. He licks it a few times before entering it with his tongue. You let out a little yelp, eyes widening by the immense pleasure you are feeling. After that you began to moan loudly, loving the what it feels as he thrusts his tongue into you. Your body couldn’t help but to arch further into him. Your hands came up to your ass to widen it for him, but he was quick to pin them down beside you. The thrusts feel so good your orgasm was building up and Jungkook could feel your body heating up too. One hand came up to your asshole, and he put in just the tip of his thump, making your squirm under his care. You couldn’t help moaning out his name, making Jungkook pleased with his efforts.

It didn’t take you long to build up the orgasm and he soon got you to the edge. He notices your breathing beginning to become more irregular than it already was. His piercing eyes watch your body shake as you approach the edge and just when you were about to let it all out, he removed himself from your body. Feeling the loss of his stimulus on your entrance, you can’t help but whine. ‘Jungkooook...’, you sigh as your body collapses onto the bed. You can hear him chuckle before he lets his hand down on your ass with a great force, making you gasp by the sensation. ‘You know that this is still a punishment, right?’ he comments as he turns your body on your back, positioning himself between your legs again. You gasp upon seeing his naked body. He apparently had removed his clothing while you were nagging him. You can’t help yourself but to stare it his cock, which is standing tall and veiny between your thighs.

‘You like what you see, baby?’, Jungkook asks and you slowly nod with widened eyes. You are slowly beginning to doubt yourself upon seeing his enormous length, questioning if it will even fit. He towers over you before reaching his hand under your head. Grabbing a ball of hear in his hand, he yanks you to sit up right. You are now in eye-level with his cock, Jungkook now on his knees in front of you. You can feel your mouth watering as you imagine sucking your mate dry, pleasing him the way you should.

‘Why don’t you suck me off princess?’, he purrs while stroking your head, having loosened the grip. You look up to him, making the biggest innocent face you can make before your hand makes its way up Jungkook’s thigh. He immediately let a sigh escape his lips, eyes closing as he prepares for your amazing touches. You tease him a little bit, letting your hand swirl around his pelvis and inner thighs. A low threatening grunt leaves his body, signalling you the teasing is over and it is time for you to give your mate the pleasure he deserves. You put your hand around his cock as you lick small circles around his tip. The small action is enough to make him groan and grab your hair in his hands again. You notice his breathing picking up a pace as you swirl around a few times more. Then you take the tip of his dick in your mouth, still containing eye contact. Jungkook’s blue eyes almost seem pitch dark as they are now dilated to the max. You can feel your own body heating up as well by seeing how aroused he is for you.

‘Fuck, you look so innocent around my cock. Such a small mouth’, he comments with a low and sexy voice. With that encouragement, you let his dick slip further into your mouth. His grip on your hair tightened, signalling you that you are doing a great job. You bob your head forwards and backwards in a slow pace, building up his orgasm for him. He let’s out little moans upon feeling your pace going faster and faster. Eventually he couldn’t help himself but to guide your mouth over his dick, forcing you to suck him a bit further into your throat. You didn’t mind at all and let him abuse your mouth. You hold on to his legs as he takes over your pace and lets you gag on his dick. His grunts became very loud as he slams into you, giving you small times to breathe. You couldn’t care less, you are meant to let him do this to you. You are his little bitch in bed.

‘Fuck y/n, you are so fucking amazing. My little whore’, Jungkook breathes out before giving one last deep push into your throat, making you lose air for a few seconds before pulling out.

You both have to catch your breath. You collap back on the bed, trying to calm down your heart, but you didn’t have much time since Jungkook was already between your legs. He smirks down at your fucked out head as he hangs your legs over his shoulders. You feel him aligning his dick with your entrance, but you feel a bit scared it will hurt. Jungkook notices the change of atmosphere and cocks his head to the side, looking at your questionably.

‘What if it will hurt?’ You ask. Jungkook smiles at you as and comes down to your forehead, giving you a little kiss. ‘Don’t worry baby, I will give you time if it hurts. Just tell me if it hurts too much okay?’, he asks and you nod your head. He goes back up and secures your legs on his shoulders. He puts his dick on your pussy, sliding it up and down your juices as he teases your clit a little. You slip a moan because of the arousing feeling. Then he aligns his dick with your entrance, giving you a reassuring look before slowly pushing into you. It takes a while before your body lets even his tip inside, but with many patients your entrance widened to his size. He pushes slow and steady before giving a last thrust, now being fully inside you. You hadn’t made any noise as you tried to not focus on the immense pain of his big cock. Your eyes were closed tightly, but you suddenly felt a soft hand on your cheek. Two soft lips met yours, pulling you out of your pain and bringing your attention back to your mate. He kisses you slowly, tongue carefully massaging against yours while the pain leisurely disappeared. The kiss was turning hotter by the second, his hands finding its way into your hair while you cling on to his muscular torso. As your bodies began to squirm against each other, his dick caused friction within you and it made you moan into his mouth.

‘Can I move?’ Jungkook asks, looking into your eyes. You nod at him, making a thrusting motion yourself with a slight smile. He smiles back before sitting upright and holding your legs firmly against his shoulders. He slowly pulled back, making you gasp by the amazing friction you feel within you. He slams back into your pussy and you both moan loudly. ‘You’re so fucking tight, so fucking delicious’, Jungkook grunts as he repeats his actions. You dig your nails into the covers beside you as Jungkook begins to put up a pace. His hips slam into yours and when he angles his dick upwards, he finally hits your g-spot. You gasp before moaning his name, the feeling overwhelming you. Jungkook now slams with all his power into you, almost flying you up against the head of the bed. You can’t hold onto anything notices Jungkook, so he let your legs back down on the bed before grabbing your wrists and holding them in place beside your head. He now begins to slam into you with full speed, making you scream and burst into pleasure. He looks at your body bouncing along with him, your breasts swinging up and down as your eyes are closed. God, he will never forget this picture.

Your head begins to feel light by his hard thrusts, drowning you with love and pleasure. You look at his form on top of you, all sweaty and muscular. Those muscles now used to make you his mate, to give you his pups. His beautiful blue eyes are staring into yours, mouth half open as he pants through it. He is so beautiful and amazingly hot. You can feel your orgasm climbing up again as he continues rocking into you.

He suddenly pulls out, making you gasp by the lost of friction. He gets off the bed and pulls you with him. He leads you to the nearest wall, preps you up against it before aligning his dick with your entrance again. You stick your ass out as high as you can, but since Jungkook is a very tall man, you couldn’t reach his cock. He decided to wrap his arms around your middle and pulled you off the floor. He sets you down on his dick before pressing your bodies back against the wall. He starts railing you from behind, your body still hovering above the floor and upper body pressed again the wall. Jungkook does this with ease, being an amazingly strong alpha. You feel his dick sliding in and out of you, making you go crazy and wanting him to go faster. ‘Jungkook pleasee...’, you whine and Jungkook chuckles. He then goes even faster, making you see duble because of the immense pleasure emerging from his acts. You can’t help but to yell out his name, probably waking up the whole world by it.

‘Fuck you are my soulmate, look at you. You are perfect for me’, Jungkook groans into your ear as he feels his own height approaching. He decides to pull you back from the wall and lays you down on the floor. With your belly pressed against the wood, he pulls your ass back into the air and didn’t leave any time to enter your throbbing entrance. You can feel his balls hitting your pussy as he thrusts violently into you. His hand found your neck again and puts a slight pressure on it. With all the stimuli your mate is giving you, you find yourself near the edge of your orgasm again. Your breath began to become uneven and Jungkook noticing that, he decides on reaching down to your clit around your hips. He starts circling it fast, helping you to reach your height. You almost screamed upon feeling this, but you muffled yourself against the floor. Jungkook’s eyes were set on your trembling body, loving how aroused you can become under his touch. It took Jungkook only a few seconds before your height was reached and the warmth spread through your body. Your breath stopped for a second as you lost yourself in the overwhelming feeling. ‘Oh my god, fuck’, you cursed out as you let the orgasm wash through your body.

‘Good girl’, Junkook prases you as you finish. You let yourself lay there for a few seconds before you realize that Jungkook didn’t come yet. You pushed him off of you, making Jungkook a bit confused, before turning him on his back. You positioned yourself on him, sitting on his lap as you let your wet pussy slide on his dick. He sighed out of pleasure as he feels you dry humping him. His hands were quick to find your waist and took over. You didn’t give him any time for that, because you were fast to line him up with your entrance. You went down on him and started bouncing on top of him. This position allowed you to hit your g-spot very consistent and couldn’t help but to go faster. You let your hips rock up and down as Jungkook helped you by grabbing your waist. He moaned loudly while his eyes looked up into yours. You knew he is close to coming, so you go a bit faster for him. You want him to make you his mate, to imprint you.

‘I will shoot all my pups into you baby, so prepare yourself’, he warns you before he suddenly takes over the pace and thrusts up into you. You moan loudly by his action and Jungkook couldn’t help but to moan along with you. You were so beautiful on top of him and seeing all of this made him cum immediately. You can feel something inflating within you and you realized he was about to knot. You let him do the rest of the job as he groans loudly, making the last few thrusts before finally deloading all his cum into you. You can feel his pups shooting into you and you close your eyes by the amazing feeling.

You both stay located on the floor, panting and stuck because of the knot. You feel high from the combining smell of the both of you. Everything feels right, this was really meant to be. Jungkook’s hand slowly caresses your back, soothing you as the knot slowly deflates. You look up into his eyes, and he is already smiling at you. You smile back at him. You know exactly how he feels, because you feel the same.

‘You’re mine now’, Jungkook says proudly, hugging you closer to him. You smile. ‘I always was, I just didn’t know’. He sighs in delight, knowing he would spend the rest of his life with you in bliss. Your lives were meant to go this way, more than this wouldn’t be needed.

‘My soulmate’.

Thank you for reading! My reguests are open for those who have one :).

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prof-peach · 4 years

Note

So I recently started working in a gastroenterology office. Interestingly, I dreamed about a part of my job but what was worded for a procedure was “schedule a Pokémon included procedure” and if I remember correctly, Mexican was the Pokémon helping not Chansey. What other Pokémon do you think would be good in the medical field?

I train a lot of Pokemon up for hospitals and medical uses, so I will list what I train, and what I know others use during procedures and daily life around the medical industry.

So I work with koffing a lot, like first and foremost they’re the biggest out-going species we have on the island outside of the grass Pokemon. When trained correctly they can purify air, making recovery for respitory issues faster and safer. If you need to disinfect them before entering a quarantined area, they can take severe chemicals that other species wouldn’t otherwise handle, and can be completely sterilised before entering without any damage to their body or internals. They may not be the Pokemon of choice for hospitality but they have a lot of applications, and can take pollens, fumes, and germs right out of the air, containing them in their body and breaking them down to harmless particles. There incredibly Pokemon and often get overlooked!

Grimer is our second export species, they are excellent once trained, for cleaning up messes. Patient just threw up? Grimer will clean it, blood on the floors? Grimer there. Dropped chemicals or biohazard items? Grimer can, and do touch corrosive materials with no affect to their bodies. You can also teach them to remove poisons and even foreign bodies from people and Pokemon, without heavily invasive treatments. They can take a little of the poison out of the patient, analyse it, and then remove the rest of the poison once they can isolate it within a body. They do all this without releasing their own toxins, and only take around 2% of body fluids that aren’t the initial poison they were removing. Meaning the patient will lose either bile, blood, or other liquids like these. It’s a very small percent and in emergencies (we see a lot of young children consuming things like soaps left too low and accessible) a Grimer will be able to fix this issue very easily.

You mentioned Medicham and Blissey, they’re both well known for their skill in the medical profession, not only with moves that can help, but their general overall natures are quite calm and collected, perfect for the industry. Comfey and Audino also fall into this bracket, making very caring professionals in their industry. Audino actually are favoured more in pediactric departments, as they are very good with children, and can do routine checks without a trainer or doctor present, when trained correctly.

The solosis line also have their place in the industry, being completely invulnerable to just about all airborne and contact based illnesses, so quarantines and areas where patients cannot be exposed to unclean conditions are perfect for this species. They’re jolly enough on average, and also you can disinfect them entierly without harm to the Pokemon. Once with a patient, they can be a great help both physically and mentally, and usually hospitals and doctors will pair one of these Pokemon to one patient, if they’re staying for a long time, or in for a delicate surgery or procedure. This Pokemon is also very easy to keep so carers are free to do other jobs, not just constantly feeding these Pokemon and making sure they get the exercise they need, because technically they don’t need any of that. They’re good even in the vacuum of space. Their body is also innate, they tend not to carry germs as much as other species do, their gel body is naturally disinfectant, and they tend not to become sick themselves unless it’s a rare internal issue.

There’s also the Pokemon perfect for physical recovery, machamp and bigger species with muscles and strength can be there as support for rehabilitating those who may have lost the ability to walk, they’re excellent at motivation and care for slow progress, and are trained to help with stability, and have great patience. The bracket of Pokemon that are used for this is quite large, I’ve seen typical little Meditite, big muscly hitmonlee, Lucario, even Meowstic, to name a few. This area of the medical industry isn’t fitted to just one species, but usually they have a bipedal form, to mimic the humans they support and give better examples when helping in recovery. The fighting types also have a lot of energy to do this kind of work all day without strain on their body. The unsung hero’s if you ask me.

Then there’s emotional well-being and recovery. Mental health Pokemon, and this is where it gets nuts, because there are no rules. Different people will respond to different Pokemon, there’s an endless array of good species for this, so long as the patients have a love for them we find success rates are much higher. Therapists are known for psychic types, because the Pokemon working with the doctor can regulate brainwaves, focus the mind, and help uncover reasoning for trauma via explorative hypnosis and other interesting techniques. Minna come to mind as a classic therapist species, as they can induce comfortable rest, and vivid states of mind, they’ve been known to direct dreams too, putting people in hypothetical situations to face fears, without putting them in physical danger.

These are just some examples, there’s Pokemon for every job, and it’s not a pokemons type or skill that alwasy dictates what it’d be good at, you can train a lot of species to be real helpful despite their normal connotations. I’m sure during your career you’ll see many more incredibly Pokemon out there doing amazing work.

#pokemon #prof.peach #peach talks

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giuliafc · 3 years

Text

Betrayal chapter 2 - The Heart of Nathalie

<<1 -- 2: Ao3 || FFN -- 3>>

Beta: miraculyfe and myimaginationflows ;)

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by (c) Thomas Astruc, TS1 Bouygues, Disney Channel, Zagtoon, Toei Animation. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Written for the "Snippet July" challenge of the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server @miraculousfanworks AND for LadyNoir July @ladynoirjuly Day 13 — Saint/affection. Let me know what you think!

oOoOoOoOoOo

When they landed inside Adrien's bedroom, Nathalie stared back at them coolly. She was sitting on Adrien's bed, exactly like she was when Chat Noir had left.

"Thank you for coming, Ladybug," said the older woman while Ladybug checked her surroundings.

"I hope this isn't a trap."

Nathalie's smile was hard. "If I meant any harm, I would've done it already." She adjusted her glasses. "Come, sit down and watch. It may change your perspective." Then, she stopped Chat Noir from approaching with a firm gesture. "This is between me and Ladybug, Adrien."

She waited for the girl to sit; then, she opened a greyed out folder on her tablet and clicked on a video. Ladybug's heart stopped. The video showed her landing on Marinette's balcony, detransforming and entering her room. The heroine's heart was into her ears, when bluebell met cerulean blue.

"I have a few videos like this one. And some more for Adrien. Optigami was very thorough in collecting data and information. I've shown M. Agreste the videos it had collected about the lives of all the other holders. But these specific details about you and Adrien, I haven't shared with him. I have intentionally withdrawn crucial information, which would've handed him the victory on a plate." Her gaze darted to Chat Noir, who was still standing where he had landed, looking seriously unhappy with being kept out of the loop again. "I haven't even shared this knowledge with Adrien himself. I won't, unless you allow me to."

Ladybug looked at Chat Noir and noticed the hurt in his eyes. She appreciated the intentions of Nathalie, but this situation felt wrong. It was wrong that her enemy knew her identity before her partner did. "You can tell Adrien," she declared after inhaling a big breath. "I think that the time for secrets has ended the moment you managed to put your hands on that video." She saw the eyes of her partner lighting up instantly and she sighed in relief.

"As you wish, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng."

The sound of Chat Noir's gasp echoed in the silence of the room like a slap.

"Marinette?"

He gasped again when she closed her eyes shut, balled her hands into fists and nodded. When she looked at him from behind her eyelashes, his eyes were still wide, his mouth still open. He looked at least ten shades redder, and probably so did she (based on the warmth exuding from her neck and cheeks).

"It's me, Chaton. Hi!"

She could hardly finish her greeting when Chat Noir jumped on her and wrapped her in a hug. His forehead pushed tenderly on hers as his vision filled her own. Their faces were so close she could feel his breath tickling the skin of her lips. But he didn't take advantage of it, he just placed a kiss on her cheek and hugged her tighter.

"It's you," he whispered into her ear.

It took a while for their mad beating hearts to calm down enough for them to once again pay attention to Nathalie.

"Why are you helping us?" asked Ladybug.

Nathalie took her glasses off and put them aside on top of her tablet. "I love Gabriel. I know it's toxic love, as he will never reciprocate my feelings. In fact, by helping him, I was making sure that my feelings wouldn't be reciprocated."

She noticed the confusion in both heroes' frowns and chose to momentarily ignore it. "But I love Adrien too. He's a good kid and, as the years went by, my affection towards him has grown so much that I consider him like my own." She crossed gaze with Chat Noir: Ladybug could sense the fondness exuding from the woman's blue eyes. "I'm doing it for him. As much as Gabriel's intentions are noble, there's a line I'd never cross, and that line is harming Adrien."

Then, she brought them to Gabriel's atélier and down to the downstairs lair. "I called you today because he's away. He's too far to sense our emotions, and we won't risk him catching us here either. What you need to see is over there." She pointed towards a big butterfly symbol towering in the centre of a small platform connected to their location by a long bridge. It didn't take long for the two teens to reach Emilie's coffin, and even less time for Chat Noir to break down completely in front of it.

"He wants your Miraculous to bring her back. She overused the Peacock when it was broken and fell into this state," announced Nathalie. "He thinks it's the only way to save her."

Ladybug's heart sank twice. Once for Chat, who was now a weeping mess in front of the body of his sleeping mother. She went to him and hugged him tight, whispering soothing sounds and rubbing behind his ears until he didn't have any more tears to cry.

But Ladybug's heart also sank for Nathalie. That woman was a saint.

"You love him so much that you're ready to sacrifice your own happiness with helping him get his wife back," she whispered as she let go of Chat and stood up to face her. She swore she saw tears in the eyes of the older woman as she held onto the coffin, lowered her head, and nodded. "Is your current sickness due to overusing the Peacock Miraculous?"

Nathalie nodded again. "Yes. My health has been damaged too." A strong fit of coughs shook her frame. "But Emilie was my friend; I'd do anything to get her back, and make Gabriel—and Adrien—happy."

She gasped when Ladybug grabbed her hand. "You're a kind woman, Nathalie. Thank you for choosing to help us. We can come up with a plan now."

More coughs shook Nathalie and the woman held strongly onto Ladybug's shoulder, looking for more than just physical support. "You still don't know the reason why I reached out. Let's go back upstairs and I'll tell you everything."

To be continued… day 14

---------------------------------------

Author's Note

Here we are… day 14, here we come. I'm not sure if the story will end next chapter or not, I may need to add an extra one the following day, or on any other day that would fit the prompt. I'm really happy with how this story is going and am so excited to share it with all of you.

Please let me know what you think and leave me a comment. You know that comments are my bread and butter, scones and clotted cream!

#miraculous ladynoir #miraculous love square #miraculous lb #miraculous les aventures de ladybug et chat noir #miraculous adrien #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #miraculous nathalie #nathalie sancoeur #nathalie loves adrien #like her child #there are lines she's not ready to cross #ladynoirjuly2021 #miraculous fanworks

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 3 years

Text

we are our family, even if we don’t want to be.

Titans 3.07

a bit over halfway through the season, and we still don’t have all of our main characters on the board! i love this show.

as always, typing this up as i watch. live reaction, baby! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before, but i kinda miss the old ‘dc universe’ intro. it was cool! the whole idea of it was wild and waaaaay over-ambitious, but also very very on-brand because of it.

2. this is... the third time we’ve seen dick sleeping this season? that’s a record! checking another thing off my s3 wishlist...

2.5. i guess i rag on titans all the time for its wafer-thin plotting and bad pacing, but i have to admit that this season has been a step-up from the last one in this regard. titans has very reactive rather than proactive protagonists, and a lot of the last season seemed to be: x happened, the team reacted badly, then y happened, they reacted badly, etc. this time around, it’s not a huge leap up by any means, but at least they’re doing something about it.

i do appreciate the focus on character arcs over everything else. and when i say everything else, i mean it: arcs that started two seasons ago with no big cathartic moments, intermittent payoff and multiple relapses. big bads have ranged from interdimensional demons to superpowered assassins to whatever in the world scarecrow is, but trigon’s big weapon against the titans was to... use their worst fears against them. slade’s was to... use their fears to break them up. crane’s is to... use red hood to use their fears to break them up. even the threat of gotham’s citizens being in danger doesn’t feel real: gotham is mythologised into an entity of its own, infecting our heroes like a parasite. like. this is not to say that most other superhero media aren’t big character arcs intertwined with the main plot, but titans doesn’t even make pretend that it’s anything but.

anyway. that’s my entry #2345 to ‘give a grand unifying theory for titans’. thanks. i’ll be back with more.

3. “anger is just fear in a little black dress.” god I HATE HIM

(what’s he doing with barbara’s likeness? oh... oh god. a terrible thought just occurred to me. what if they introduce hush at the very last minute for plastic surgery shenanigans? would you put it past this show?)

3.5. jason, nooooooooo

3.75. i mean, they’re making it very clear here that scarecrow is the one in control--the one who’s always been in control--and is manipulating jason and literally poisoning him, but i hope it doesn’t end up erasing nuance or jason’s autonomy. if jason’s to reckon with the issues that brought him here, then the lines of responsibility will need to be set somewhere.

(this applies to dick as well but more on that later, i guess.)

4. just--the phrase “40% loss of income” is so funny to me. like, gotham is full of these larger-than-life characters who are idiosyncratic beyond belief, colourful and dramatic and creating chaos just for the sake of chaos, and then there’s the regular criminals and their henchmen who just want to make a quick buck sitting down with pie charts and graphs, griping about the joker reducing their returns or debating high risk investments in, i don’t know, two-face’s next scheme.

“yyyyeeeeeaaah, my financial advisor is telling me that going all-in with a guy who literally makes decisions on the flip of a coin is probably not the greatest idea.”

4.5. god i hate smug!smarmy!scarecrow so much

4.85. as big plans to “control” gotham go, it’s pretty bog-standard. clearly scarecrow has some bigger plan in mind but it really feels like we’ve got no clear insight into him and he’s this generic creepy mystery-man who knows more than he lets on and springs a twist/cliffhanger every now and then. i liked the scenes with him and dick in 3.04 where it seemed like he was genuinely on the backfoot and things weren’t going as he predicted. for all of his faults, dick is at least familiar with scarecrow’s bullshit and knows not to give what he wants.

5. i mean... i see where dick is coming from with the “he’s not jason anymore; he’s red hood” because his immediate glaring concern is scarecrow’s drug and the damage it could potentially cause gotham? i do not doubt that it’s something batman drilled into him, too, but when you’re expected to take point on a situation where the lives of an entire city weigh down on your shoulders, it’s better to simplify things and prioritise. i’m not saying it’s great or healthy! gar is absolutely right to consider this facet of the situation. it’s just dick can’t.

6. hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM.

i don’t know that i’m super fond of this iteration of oracle???? it looks like a cross between cerebro from x-men and jarvis from iron man. it’s giving me second-hand embarrassment. somebody help me.

(at least they remembered dick’s middle name is actually “john”. i like to think bruce printed D in that contract because for a while he genuinely thought richard “dick” grayson was his full name. duck duck goose, dick dick grayson, i don’t know alfred, the kid was in a circus, maybe they thought it was funny. or maybe it was a test in anger control, who knows.)

6.5 “maybe you two would like some time alone?” even AI can’t help hitting on dick grayson in this universe.

“oh mr grayson, if i only had another eye to see you better...”

6.8. on one hand, it’s a bit disconcerting that the title of ‘oracle’ has gone from barbara herself to this gigantic machine; from my impression of the comics-verse, barbara had an extensive computing and surveillance system, true, but she was very clearly the brains behind the operation. on the other hand, i’m kind of glad that the ethical boundaries that this kind of surveillance violates is a sticking point for barbara. (tho let’s be real, the nsa would kill to have this in their arsenal).

6.9. also it’s now obvious that scarecrow’s big plan is to take control of oracle itself. it’s why he had lady vic take that picture of her eyes, or why he’s meddling around with it on his computer.

6.95. if only i could ‘command sleep’ anybody overstepping their boundaries re: personal information...

7. “you can just sit back and watch as the titans destroy themselves.” i mean... he’s not wrong

8. “dick’s parents were killed by a criminal mob; he won’t work with them.” it’s wonderful that you have this insight into dick, kory, i just wish we could’ve watched some of these conversations actually happen on-screen.

8.5. i’m glad that kom’s being treated with such nuance and understanding, though it’s obvious that she definitely has a Plan of her own. (and did i entirely imagine her ability to mimic other people flawlessly at the end of s2? or is that going to come into play at some point?) i think her story has the potential to be genuinely poignant, and in a universe where being Different, either because of mental health or physical differences or whatever else, leads a straight line to Evil, it’s important to acknowledge and then emphasise that the mere fact of your existence as a Different Person doesn’t predispose you to evil. maybe your act of destroying a system that has destroyed you and not scrambling to “fit in” is only evil as defined by that system.

8.8. “you’re trespassing, i should call the authorities, i feel unsafe.” now this is a villain lady who’s definitely aware of her privilege.

8.85. kom smirking knowingly at her sister is everything.

“oooh that’s the kory i remember”

9. conner and dick working together woo!

9.25. god i hate a villain who’s always just a step ahead, no matter what. so crane anticipated dick using oracle to track his personal communications and set him up? how did he know when exactly dick would get to do this? how long did he have that poor man tied up in that van?

(the “save me, grayson” is a nice touch, tho. send dick spiralling even further! because if there’s one thing dick will do, it’s take responsibility for every goddamn thing that goes wrong.)

9.5. ahem. i’m going to need a million gifs of conner yeeting dick across that yard, fandom, thankyouverymuch.

(i understand conner is invulnerable to explosions, but how do his clothes survive??)

9.8. oooh crane is already in oracle! i’m just sitting here laughing helplessly because they’re overpowering this goddamned guy so much. he can build a lab in arkham’s basement! he has access to lazarus puddles! he has minions working across gotham, including a fully functional chemical laboratory staffed by chemists who only answer to him! he has the crime families of gotham quailing in his very presence! he has assassins at his beck and call! he’s enough of a manipulative bastard to have red hood under his thumb! and now he has enough of a tech know-how to not only be aware of oracle, but know how to hack into it! i’m sick of exclamation marks! i’ll shut up now!

9.95. dick leaving behind that smouldering grave for a person he failed to save without taking a second to process how he feels about it and running towards his next plan to corner scarecrow: a microcosm of where his head’s at right now.

10. really hammering in the themes of this season, aren’t we.

10.25. the interesting thing is the titans repeatedly call themselves a family this season (none more so than dick) and while that found family has helped encapsulate and put away their traumatic experiences with their ‘original’ families, it’s meant that they’ve not really dealt with those issues. and dick and gar and jason come from ‘found families’ of their own: they are twice removed, traumatised two times over. they still cling to this identity however, and because of it they’re losing each other. a family isn’t static. it’s an ever-evolving dynamic and you have to put in work constantly to keep it healthy.

10.5. anyway, that’s entry #2346. i’m here aaaalll night.

11. lookit gar the detective! half-transforming and using his powers to deduce things! what a hero! i’ve said this for a long time, but gar is the bedrock of this team, and an unsung one at that.

11.25. i’m confused about him calling this room jason’s though. it seems to me that this is dick’s room that jason later used, and one that dick’s using now. so the unmade bed isn’t really jason’s fault; dick was woken by barbara that morning, and in his hurry, he left without making his bed.

(it still confounds me that bruce didn’t find jason another bedroom in that gigantic mansion of his. you really didn’t give this kid a chance, did you?)

12. oh well. so much for the oracle.

13. ... sorry, wait. you didn’t think i wasn’t going to address the bit with dick right now, did you?

12.5. i honestly don’t think it’s very complicated: dick’s been reeling from one traumatic thing to the next, and just when it seemed like at the beginning of the season, he felt happy and secure with his team and his place in the world, bruce ups and leaves gotham to him, specifically naming him a successor and calling him a ‘better batman’. he’s lost garth and jericho and donna and jason and now hank and dawn. he’s not even sure where rachel is or what she’s doing. after being told that batman was a psychopath for moulding him into a weapon, he’s also been told that his failure to be a ‘better batman’ lead to further disaster. of course he’s going to get batman-goggles. of course he’s going to be a prick.

12.8. i don’t know what to say. i feel his frustration acutely. i don’t think he should’ve said what he said to barbara (can people stop pushing her around this season????) but that pressure to step in where your parent fails? to clean up their messes and try to think like them? to fall into habits drilled into you when you developed them as coping mechanisms growing up? I FEEL THAT.

every step he’s taking he’s putting 110% of himself in it and scarecrow’s still playing mindgames with all of them: i absolutely feel his desperation to take control of that game and turn it on scarecrow, no matter what it takes.

and he did apologise almost immediately, and finally--finally--actually works with barbara.

12.9. again, not excusing him! but i get it. and i think that’s a sign of great character writing.

“did you know i just reminded emmram of all of her daddy issues? what the fuck????”

12.95. i love that dick&barbara, kory&kom, and gar are all approaching solving this mystery from different angles, each as valid as the other. also, conner is there as... emergency bomb defuser man?

13. it’s like all fancy rich people in fancy rich houses do is pour fancy rich alcohol into fancy rich glasses on pristine, untouched tabletops. i wonder what it’s like to live like that.

13.25. I KNEW IT! poor michael. it was nice knowing you.

13.5. man, kory is contending with a lot of issues that she’s successfully bottled up and compartmentalised until now. the cold reality that a child can seek out their parents as refuge and they can view the child as a piece to be moved in a greater game (never out of cruelty, though, never, and somehow that makes it worse), that truth of blackfire’s treatment on tamaran because she’s different, and her own culpability in what happened. she exchanged one family for another, after all, and left that family to die and her sister to suffer. like dick, like gar, kory’s being forced to reckon with what the titans are meant to be, the larger implications of creating their found family in their own space.

14. it’s probably because it’s one in the morning and i’ve had two glasses of wine but i did not follow that bit of exposition at all and victor freeze??? what?

anyway. look at them solving things! together! go team!

“you made a deal with the mob?” oh the sense of betrayal on his face! fuck off, dick, your issues aren’t kory’s.

15. conner is really sweet and a bit of an awestruck crush on kom is to be expected. especially after that power rangers-esque transformation (i say this as a former huge power rangers fangirl. i’ve seen every series until 2007 including the original japanese versions and written fanfic for all of them. so i love a cool costume transformation, is what i’m saying.)

also?

FUCK YEAH

16. i love the gotham crime families just chillin’ around eating ice cream. I LOVE THEM

16.5. that was a fun fight sequence, if marred slightly by that bit of awkward flirting between conner and kom. i wonder if she’s really planning to use him in a larger scheme to get kory back to tamaran, or maybe something else.

16.75. so i’m assuming that scarecrow has jason either so paralysed by fear that he can barely move, or jason’s withdrawing from the drug that he’s been sucking in every few minutes.

17. it’s nice to see them chill after a successful mission! and it can be awkward, but conner’s crush on kom and him striving to impress her is also, well, uh... cute.

17.5. i guess the dick/barbara scene was inevitable, especially given the... unresolved nature of their relationship in the flashbacks? and they’ve been through a rollercoaster together this episode, discovering and then destroying an incredible tool within a matter of hours, re-discovering just how well they work together as a team. dick’s swimming in the nostalgia. i don’t expect it to last as a long-term relationship, but i totally get why this is happening now. and hey, they’re cute!

i have a weeeirrrrd feeling that kory is going to leave to tamaran at the end of the season and that dick and kory will rekindle--or rather realise--their relationship just before that. it’s going to be devastating and beautiful and painful and i will be writing essays about it which would be me just wailing into the screen.

18. gar found molly!!!!!!! MOLLY’S BACK! \o/ gar is the BEST

19. that was a fun episode! i love this silly show, even if it does destroy me sometimes <3

#titans #titans spoilers #meta #dick grayson #barbara gordon #koriand'r #komand'r #garfield logan #jonathan crane #conner kent #a byronic cupcake #badass strawberry truffle #manic pixie pop tart

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mack3030 · 3 years

Text

Nothing like an adf*y supporter digging their hole deeper...

Now before we get into this, I'm going to make a disclaimer: 1) I've already blocked this person so they can't see this post and reply. The reason being the behavior shown in the screenshots I am going to provide is disgusting, and I'd rather not remotely interact with someone like that.

2) Please, please please, please please, do NOT send hate, or harass this person. They are already getting enough of that due to callout posts made by @llazyneiph exposing their positions on adf*y, but I'm here to talk primarily about OTHER behavior.

Okay, so there are so many things in this post to unpack, but I'm going to focus primarily on one aspect: "For some reason, this community attracts so many fucking evil people, possibly mentally ill, and no one controls them." Okay, now I'm going to give this "creator" a benefit of the doubt as far as translation and cultural ignorance. They are apparently from Russia, and Russia's treatment of mental health as a country is not amazing. This could be a government problem, a cultural problem, or frankly, a bit of both. But, at the same time, it doesn't excuse the fact that they have also had plenty of time to get a bit "educated", particularly when using tumblr. (As many people on tumblr use their blogs as ways to raise awareness and educate others about many issues regarding mental health, sexuality, social justice, etc.) But I primarily want to inform and educate folks about this and inform them that the statements above (and statements like it) are really harmful. And they just add to the stigma that is attached to having mental problems. You see, as a mentally ill person (having anxiety/depression that comes pack and parcel with my autism), it's nobody's "job" to "control me" or "keep me under control" but my OWN.

Just like many adult people who live with diseases or chronic illnesses all their lives, we have to self-monitor our health, make sure to take medicine if we're on it, check in with our doctors, and actively try to fight the sickness we live with. And most of us don't have the luxury of having someone to keep us in check.

My mother doesn't call or text me every day and say "Hey honey, have you taken your meds today?" Because it's MY job as an adult person to manage my body's health and take my medication and see my doctor. It's not my mom's job, not my boyfriend's job (although he's wonderful and supportive), and not the job of my boss, or heaven forbid, my students, to make sure I am mentally healthy. It's MY job. And it's been my job all this time to do so. To insinuate that people who are evil are mentally ill (thus correlating the two) and that mentally ill people need to be controlled is DAMAGING. It's acting like people who are mentally ill need to be put in institutions to be controlled, such as insane asylums, which have a pretty horrible history of abuse/treatment of their patients. This is one of the reasons I ban the word "retard" or "retarded" in my classroom, because of the connotation/correlation to "mental retardation" which is an antiquated medical term. People who were deemed "mentally retarded" were often put in facilities, and often abused mentally, physically, and even sexually by doctors, nurses, and orderlies because they thought (incorrectly) that the patients couldn't "understand" what was happening to them. Words and statements like those shared above are not good and healthy. Please, especially during this time where lots of people are suffering from mental health problems due to COVID and its effects, do NOT let people get away with saying crap like this. Because just because people are sick, doesn't mean they're evil and need to be controlled. It's dehumanizing, and it's sucky behavior. And for any fellow simmers who also battle with mental health issues, my inbox is always open if you need to chat. I'm in the fight with you. Anyway, there's your mental health lesson for today. Please don't make ignorant statements like magic-bot did. And don't support people who make statements like that. That's not okay.

#mental health awareness #sims4 #sims3 #sims2 #the sims #sims4cc #sims4mods #tw: mental health ignorance #the paywall rants

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