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night-wyld-system · 1 year

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Trauma-Punk (Coining)

Concept

An aesthetic and social group/movement focused on trauma survivors of any and all kinds. You have gone through hell and back and you are allowed to be loud, angry, aggressive, and selfish. Traumapunk is for all the unsavory survivors who don’t fall into society's ideal victim mold. It’s taking back the power from times you could not before, it’s being independent and self assured, it’s saying fuck you to the system that allowed your traumas to occur, saying fuck you to the abusers you may have had. You don’t have to be quiet or docile, you can be loud and aggressive.

All trauma survivors matter, and the discrimination and biases we face on a daily basis should no longer go ignored. This is a movement for all the cluster-b disordered people, all the people with PTSD, all the people with DID/OSDD, and any other trauma induced disorders. Everyone with the “wrong” reaction to their trauma and everyone who has decided they will no longer take anyone's shit.

All trauma survivors can be a part of this, regardless of disorders or the lack thereof. Your trauma no matter how big, no matter how small, is valid.

Trauma Punk Flag

[Image ID: The trauma-punk flag, consistent of 7 stripes which are reflected horizontally. The stripes go as follows; Dark Sienna, Rosso Corsa, Old Brick, Carousel Pink, Old Brick, Rosso Corsa, and then Dark Sienna. The flag is all tinted towards a redish color. End ID]

The flags colors all have their own meaning

Dark Sienna: All the negative feelings and emotions that comes from having experienced trauma, the feeling of being alone.

Rosso Corsa: Anger towards what happened, having to fight to survive. Not being docile.

Old Brick: Any and all people with socially unacceptable reactions to their traumas- including disorders, temperament shifts, and being untrusting of others. (Separate from anger).

Carousel Pink: Recovery and healing

This flag is free to be used and never requires any credit.

Core Beliefs

Pro/Supports

People with Personality Disorders

People with PTSD/cPTSD

Traumagenic Systems (DID/OSDD)

CDDs (Complex Dissociative Disorders)

People with lesser known disorders like RAD, ASD (acute stress disorder not autism), DSED

People with trauma based adjustment disorders

People with trauma based anxiety disorders

People with “problematic” (trauma induced) OCD themes

Anyone with trauma

Low empathy

Hyper empathy

Well researched self-dx

Sex-workers

Hypersexual survivors

Sex repulsed survivors

Trans People

Gay People

Intersex people

Xenogenders

Self-defense

Angry Survivors

Survivors who want revenge

Survivors who want to see their perps be better people

Anti-Psych/Psych-Critical

Psychology/psychiatry should be available for those in need- however there are massive issues within the field and it needs to be addressed. We personally prefer Psych-Crit, but people recognize Anti-psych more.

Anti/Against

Ableists

“Narcissistic/Histrionic/Borderline/Sociopathic” Abuse

The abuser made their choice, having a disorder will never make someone be an abuser, that abusive person CHOSE to be evil. Your anger should be at them, not fellow trauma survivors.

Trauma Comparison

All traumas are valid, some may be harder to deal with than others but we are still all survivors.

Sanists

Fakeclaimers

You never know what someone is going through it is not your place to decide if they have a disorder or not

Terfs/Swerfs/Radfems

Transphobes

Homophobes

Transmeds

Intersexists

Our DNI does not apply to this and only this post (unless you are part of one of the groups in the "against" section.)

This label is allowed to be used by trauma survivors regardless of beliefs on syscourse as we post a lot of syscourse stuff and thought this was necessary to add.

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kenmakaminari · 1 year

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Things I thought were normal until people I know pointed out that they were trauma responses!!!

(people being my friends, and even my therapist(s))

18 bullets

WARNINGS: mentions of abuse, mentions of csa, mentions of death/dying, disassociation, talk about tampons, probably quite a few typo's

Disassociation, especially when people are yelling or i feel like they are upset with me

Over explaining myself

Not being able to make a decision, even a small one

Not crying for over 10 years!

Never feeling attached to anyone or anything

Reading. Not normal reading, but always having a book or my phone on me, ready to read whenever normal life felt like it was too much

Hypersexuality starting at age 8

Tampons never feeling comfortable, or my body physically rejecting them and pushing them out

Being scared to tell the truth, but also scared to lie. And therefore just saying "I don't know" to even the smallest things

Being afraid or adults or any form of authority, even other kids

Being scared of going to sleep, because i thought that I was going to die. But then being confused because I wanted to die, so why was I scared? (I was scared because I didn't want my younger sisters finding me dead, because I knew deep down that they would check on me before my parents ever would - found that out years later)

Forgetting that I had a baby sister when I was 5 years old (she was in a different foster home than my other sister and I. Luckly we were all adopted together)

Thinking that since my adoptive parents have never hit, touched, or neglected us I have no reason to complain about them, and I'm just being dramatic

Starring blankly at walls, or into space for minutes to hours at a time

being incredibly quiet one day, and then being super hyperactive and happy the next

Crying when angry, and then crying more because I'm trying to be mad not upset

Over-analyzing everyone's intentions, always thinking that people have ulterior motives for being nice

Knowing which family member is walking past my room by the sound of their footsteps.

#ptsd #childhood trauma #mental health #mental illness #dissociation #reactive attachment disorder #psychology #trauma #dissociative disorder #trauma response #trauma responses #csa survivor #emotional abuse #adoptee #things i thought were normal #hypersexual

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vital-information · 1 year

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Depictions of CPTSD for people with CPTSD (instead of feeling like an after-school special)

“The child trapped in an abusive environment is faced with formidable tasks of adaptation. She must find a way to preserve a sense of trust in people who are untrustworthy, safety in a situation that is unsafe, control in a situation that is terrifyingly unpredictable, power in a situation of helplessness. Unable to care for or protect herself, she must compensate for the failures of adult care and protection with the only means at her disposal, an immature system of psychological defenses.” —Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terrorism

Lilo & Stitch (2002)

Avatar: the Last Airbender (2005-2008)

Short Term 12 (2012)

Mr Robot (2015-2019)

She-Ra and the Princess of Power (2018-2020)

Shazam! (2019)

Kotaro Lives Alone (2021)

Bee and Puppycat: Lazy in Space (2022)

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into-wonderland-caroline · 1 month

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03/12/24

Captain is taking a morning nap in what looks like some kind of very uncomfortable contortion pose...

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small-but-mightyy · 1 year

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the stigma around adoption needs to be talked about

The lack of education surrounding the grievous impacts of adoption is unsettling, especially during a time where many originally misunderstood topics are being de-stigmatized (mental health, disability, the LGBT community, non-conforming identity, etc…)

As an adoptee I am so tired of uneducated people telling me how I should feel about my adoption, as if I don’t have a say in the matter of my own experiences.

There are so many topics I could dive into, but I am going to focus on the mental health aspect because I feel like it widely applies to many adoptee experiences.

Adoptees are so often misunderstood. Being told things like “you’re so lucky to be adopted” and “you should be grateful for having such generous parents” is so damaging and manipulative. Adoption isn’t automatically some magical experience where kids are rescued to live an amazing life in which they are eternally grateful and unconditionally loved. In many cases, this is far from the truth.

Our mental health, no matter what age the adoption takes place, is extremely stigmatized. It’s clear in media when adopted children are shown to cause harm to their adoptive families because they are “troubled”, or when an adopted character is displayed as an outsider who is bullied for being “different”. Not to mention the “I wish I was adopted” comment or people joking around and saying “you must be adopted” to make someone feel less-than.

Many adoptees experience developmental delays during childhood. Disorganized attachment can be a common symptom in adopted children, but instead of it being recognized as trauma it is labeled with the (extremely offensive term) “adopted child syndrome”. This comes with the idea that adopted children are “troubled” solely from being adopted. This is commonly applied to the symptom of oppositional defiance caused by major disruptions in early childhood development. Children displaying clear symptoms of disorganized attachment and trauma are often dismissed because of the stigma that we must be “troubled” solely due to our adoptive status. Our trauma is very rarely recognized or taken seriously. I was blamed by a psychiatrist when I was ten years old for having episodes due to my disorganized attachment (which was unknown at the time). He assumed that my SI, depression, anxiety, rage, etc… were caused by my adoptive title, not the trauma I experienced as an orphan and as a child raised in an abusive home. The psychiatrist concluded that I just had “anger issues” and I was dismissed without any help. When we are blamed for something that is completely out of control, how are we supposed to feel safe around the people who label us as the problem? Then comes the stigma that adopted children are always distant and disconnected from their adoptive families, but I won’t go into that because this post is already long enough.

I think I made my point clear enough. Adoptees are so commonly misunderstood that we don’t feel safe being honest about our experiences. We end up hiding our authenticity because others cannot handle the ugly truth that comes with adoption. Our voices need to be heard.

#adoption #stigma #childhood trauma #disorganized attachment #reactive attachment disorder #emotional neglect #physical neglect #adoption trauma #discrimination #actually traumatized #mentally ill #cptsd #vent

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in-pursuit-of-happiness-caroline · 5 months

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You don't believe it can happen to you - I didn't either...

...Health problems I have to live with caused by the 8 years I struggled with anorexia and orthorexia[and never believed I was "sick enough" for it to happen to me].

I want to preface this post by saying 2 things; First, this post will talk some about eating disorders, although nothing detailed and I will not ever post numbers or anything more obviously upsetting, I do still want to give that warning so if this topic might upset or cause problems for you, do what is good for you and don't continue reading this. Second, I am not a medical or mental health professional. I have no degrees of any kind so this post, like all my others, is purely my experiences, opinions and what I have learned from my doctors over the years. You've been warned now on to the real content/topic...

The past few weeks there has been these nagging thoughts and feelings of some regrets and anger and sadness about how much of my physical health alone eating disorders took from me. I can't go back to change anything but it is something that makes me angry how deceived and distorted someone who is in the depths of an eating disorder can be. For a little back story I struggled with Orthorexia and anorexia for 8 years. The behaviors & obsessions began when I was only 7 years old and I was diagnosed with Orthorexia at age 8 and given a second diagnosis of anorexia at age 10. I stayed in these disorders until I was 15 & only then did I actively pursue and work for recovery. I'm happy to say I have maintained that recovery and a healthy weight since, however, a lot of damage was already done to my body by the time I was 15 and unfortunately much of it was not reversed so I live with many physical health problems caused by anorexia and Orthorexia.

Like many who struggle with eating disorders I was, at different points, told about and warned of the damage it could do to my body, the possible long term consequences of continuing in my disorders. Also like many who struggle with eating disorders I shrugged off these warnings and facts. In my mind none of it would happen to me because I never saw myself as a "sick enough " orthorexic and anorexic to warrant such complications. Now, were there and are there people struggling with eating disorders whose cases would be called more severe and critical than me - yes of course and that is kind of the point- this idea people who struggle with eating disorders have that they have to be the sickest, skinniest, closest to death's door anorexic or orthorexic or whatever to have long term health problems from it or to deserve help or die from their disease is a complete garbage dumpster fire of lies and bullshit! It's not a competition and comparison will destroy! With an eating disorder it will never be enough until it kills you...you will not win anything ‐ or be smiled on, applauded, or envied for dying so thin. No one who knew you will remember you after your death and speak fondly, joyfully or boast about how sick and thin you were. It will not be a positive, admirable, inspiring, happy legacy you will leave if you die sick because of an eating disorder. Your loved ones will suffer, they will be angry about your sickness, angry that you couldn't believe you were sick enough/warranted help. They will be sad and grief stricken and wonder what they could have done differently. They will blame themselves. It's harsh, morbid and very depressing but it is the truth of the legacy you will leave if your eating disorder kills you because you weren't thin enough, sick enough, and you didn't believe any of it could happen to you. You won't die happy and fulfilled because you are thin and sick, you will die depressed, scared, anxious, tortured, and weak just as you were in the eating disorder that deceived you pushing you to hold on to and continue your behaviors, always promising you will be happy when but continually moving that goal- keeping it out of reach because it's never enough with an eating disorder. It's a lie!

Talking to my doctors, I have learned that a good portion of my heart problems were caused by/at least partially caused by years of starvation, malnutrition and stress from my eating disorders. These heart issues include: my heart murmur, mitral valve prolapse and mitral valve regurgitation(which I had to have heart surgery for last year), bradycardia, and thin heart walls! This accounts for every heart health problem I have besides one...it makes me cringe with regret, anger and sadness just to know that.

Anorexia and Orthorexia also caused the irreversible damage and basically shut down of my reproductive system meaning I am sterile/infertile...can not have children. Because I began struggling with eating disorders so young, becoming sick and emaciated/malnourished so quickly and basically remaining in that state or in a declining state for 8 years I have not ever had a period or menstrual cycle and I will not ever due to the damage to my reproductive system. This also caused problems with my bone density and I have osteopenia (basically the beginning stage of osteoporosis) and eventually that will progress into full osteoporosis. I also have permanent damage to my liver caused by my eating disorders.

I hate that I caused so much of my own health struggles and problems and as a result cause my family worry for my health, my well being, and my future. Not to mention the experiences, relationships, strength, health, life, personality, adventure, discovery, zeal, joy, love, rest, dreams the eating disorders took from me and I can't go back and have them.

I am a dancer. Dance is my biggest passion in life and some day I won't be able to dance anymore because the permanent damage and health problems from my eating disorders will end it. My bones will be too brittle and weak to leap and turn and hold a pose, have correct technique. My heart could get weaker- more stressed in time and I will have dance taken from me. I won't be able to follow that dream, to perform. The consequences of eating disorders reach my entire life and that is and/or can be the reality for anyone with an eating disorder who doesn't believe it will happen to them - who doesn't see themselves as sick enough. I did not see it or believe it either and yet this is my reality.

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manie-sans-delire-x · 7 months

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#holy shit I finally did it!!#you cant find this anywhere else only I have the file #shes soo cute look at her Im gunna cry #wanna pinch her little chubby cheeks #kinda looks like kid me #music #halflife #beth thomas #child of rage #reactive attachment disorder #rad #attachment issues #trauma #abuse #SoundCloud

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demonized-infodumps · 2 days

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oh this is ther PERFECT place to talk about our rad:)

we have reactive attachment disorder. a "rare" and extremely conplicated trauma based anxiety disorder where a child does not form a healthy relationship with their parent due to neglect or trauma.

i. fucking. hate. how i am PROFESSIONALLY RECOGNIZED, and NO ONE FUCKING ACCOMODATES FOR ME. no one has EMPATHY, no one UNDERSTANDS, they just get fucking PISSED OFF AT ME because I CANT DO WHAT THEY WANT ME TO.

my therapist constantly asks me how im feeling or what this and that makes me feel. and i cant fucking respond. because literally a huge part of RAD is that i cannot understand my own and others emotions.

the things people expect me to be? they expect me to be normal, they expect me not to be mean. but i am. i push other people away because people with RAD struggle to form and keep relationships, i hiss and snap and i always have and no one thought that that was strange. they expect me to be normal, and that i CHOOSE to struggle in social situations to such a high degree

this was a ramble im not bothering to reread so it may just make no sense

[We do not have RAD as a tag on our blog, would you like us to add it?]

#demonized asks #rad #reactive attachment disorder #trauma disorder #trauma disorders #anxiety disorder #rambles #demonized infodumps #demonized rambles

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moodivy · 1 year

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The worst part about RAD is it never goes away. I never stop being afraid of losing people

#reactive attachment disorder

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inhumanliquid · 1 year

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Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) is a condition where a child doesn't form healthy emotional bonds with their caretakers (parental figures), often because of emotional neglect or abuse at an early age.

#mad pride #mad pride flag #reactive attachment disorder #bright colors

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theworldoffostering · 1 year

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The police were out again this week due to Ms.6’s escalating behavior. She punched DH in the stomach and kneed him in the groin. I honestly just asked them to take her. They would not bc they said her violence didn’t meet the level of a domestic violence charge.

She is SO angry and untethered. What started the incident was me stating that she could not sit next to NB at dinner. What’s worse is I KNEW it would escalate her but I couldn’t justify not doing it bc it wasn’t healthy for NB bc Ms. 6 is just incredibly “weird” in her relationship with him. My choices were to not parent in a way that was beneficial to them both, or parent in a way that benefitted them and reap the consequences. And now I’m a mother who would rather serve her kid up to juvie than continue to live with her being escalated and violent. Judge as you will.

We tried to talk to her today. She is adamant that we need to buy her a phone in order for her to “feel happy.” I straight up told her that I had planned to buy her a phone for Christmas but it was now off the table and that she would need to wait until summer when she could buy her own. I talked to her about working and she said she doesn’t want to work because it’s “dumb.” Then we talked about her getting her driver’s license and she’s convinced she’ll just walk into the DMV and they’ll hand it to her when she turns 18 despite the fact that she will not have practiced for a year and has never really had much driving experience. She did say she needs more freedom. I pointed out that having a job, money, and a license was freedom, but she insisted freedom was having a cell phone given to her by us. Again, judge as you will, but I’m not buying a cell phone for her (she did have one but we took it away at some point and now things are so far gone that we just did away with it).

We are looking at residential (again), and trying to find somewhere for her to be while we are in TN. I know it’s going to be a blow for her not to go, but we cannot risk false allegations out of state after the WY incident and then the recent in-state case. It’s just so much more to manage than I ever imagined.

I reached out to her maternal grandma this week in desperation. Waiting to hear back.

Ms. 6 called me a b*tch this week, a Queen, and said she didn’t want to live in this “dump” with myself and my “princess” (E). She has been gunning for E emotionally and its effects have been devastating for E. I’m pretty upset about it too but wasn’t certain I was reading the incidents correctly until Ms. 6 directly told me her feelings right before the police showed up. I know it’s from insecurity—she’s afraid we don’t love her as much as we love E. She never thought that until a therapist asked her and now she’s clinging to that narrative.

Today I sat her down, asked how we could help, talked to her about goals, etc. Offered suggestions, tried really hard to listen. Nothing. Ms. 6 got up and went to bed at like 2 and it’s now 9 and we haven’t heard a peep out of her. She told me her big plan was to sleep all weekend. Mission accomplished. She did get up so I could take her to lunch so that’s something I guess. She chose not to come with us to the Christmas parade though which was sad.

#venting #parenting #rad #reactive attachment disorder #this sucks #I’m sad #and mad #and discouraged

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its-ticsticstics · 1 year

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I was researching the horrors (and thats putting it lightly) of "Attachment Therapy" and "Holding Therapy" which to summon up quickly is essentially restraining a child in a blanket and having up to 4 adults lay on top of them until the child becomes frantic, vomits, urinates, and then either passes out or gives up; afterwards the parent holds the child (not matter how old) like a baby, demanding eye contact, and even sometimes bottlefeeding them. All to "break down" the child and then rebuild attachment to the caregiver- apparently.

And as it turns out, it was by a man name Robert Zaslow as a treatment not only for the controversial dx of 'Attachment Disorder' but also for Tourettes Syndrome.

This man in particularly was interested in ridding children of "primal rage" that comes from poor parental attachments and on top of the holding therapy, he would use painful sternum rubs, pinching, etc., to further push the child out of their own control in order to continue punishing them.

So many children died and were needlessly tortured because of this man and his colleagues. Even to this day clinics offering these treatments and practising using his models are still open and abusing children.

#tw child abuse #rebirthing therapy #attachment therapy #abusive therapies #reactive attachment disorder #tourettes syndrome

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r0st0v0rphan · 10 months

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“And I know you want us to be together.

And I know it's hard to accept forever…

Our delusion is the easy way out.

But it's time for both of us to let this go.”

#whitechapel #metal #metalcore #grief #loss #no love #Rostov orphan #adoptee #reactive attachment disorder #let go #Spotify

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into-wonderland-caroline · 23 days

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03/28/24

You ever have a dream that feels insanely real and you keep thinking about it? That's me today! I had a dream last night that I was flying a plane...as random as that is and today it's been going over and over in my head to the point where I even looked up what it takes to get a pilot license 😄 Not that I will actually do it but it sounds pretty amazing so who knows. Other dancers in my classes today looked at me like I had 3 heads when I told them I was researching getting a pilots license on break from class. I think it is rather fun to prove people wrong and do things they would never expect. For instance I have loved motorcycles since I was kid...so much more fun than driving a car to me & nobody close to me thought a girl like me would actually learn to ride one let alone buy her own once she got her license but I did and I love riding my motorcycle...no regrets there! It would be cool to be able fly a plane. Haha who knows

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healingtherapyservices · 11 months

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Anxious Attachment Style in Dating

Notice that you have anxious attachment style? Always over thinking in relationships? Feeling overwhelmed when it comes to dating?

Therapy can help.

#anxious attachment #secure attachment #emotional attachment #mental wellbeing #mental health #mental therapy #reactive attachment disorder #relationship #mental wellness #disorganized attachment

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in-pursuit-of-happiness-caroline · 4 months

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Reach out

Early this morning I received a message informing me that one of my friends and fellow dancers from the dance studio made an attempt to end her own life last night. Shock, disbelief, confusion and worry are swirling for me right now. I have so many questions like what the hell happened, what was going on for Erika that led her to this?

Thankfully Erika is still alive & currently in the hospital receiving medical attention and treatment. I know the holidays are extremely difficult for so many people & I don't know if that contributed to Erika's decision to attempt suicide but if you are reading this and struggling or lonely or stressed or feeling suicidal this holiday season please talk to someone. You can message me on either of my blogs (this one or my main one).

One thing I have gathered about Erika is whatever problems she was having she hid it & kept it all to herself- to deal with alone. Her family has told me that they never knew anything was wrong and that is the same for myself, & our other friends. I wish she would have talked to someone, talked to me. I know many people hesitate to reach out especially surrounding mental health problems but dealing alone comes at a major price and it's not helpful. Again, my inbox is open if you decide you don't want to first talk to someone directly in your life. I don't have any degrees or many answers but I can be here. This post is giving a PSA vibe but I wanted to put this out there. It's important.

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