#10 years is a long ass time your honor!!!

[owl127]

Two times Weiss Schnee regretted finding the bees, and one time she did not

"We should wait until morning to cross the bridge." Jaune had a tone of finality when he spoke now. Weiss wasn't sure if that was because of his age or his suffering from loneliness and betrayal. Maybe both. "There are wolf-boar scouts at night in the Dark Acre."

That sounded as confusing as any other threat in this place, and Weiss had learned to respect them. At least a little bit more. She stretched her neck and winced at the knot there, massaging it with a gloved hand. The small clearing they called a camp was damp from rain and quiet with just the three of them. "Hey, are you cold?" Weiss asked Ruby, who blinked and shrugged, but her skin was cool to the touch. "Where's Yang with more firewood?" Weiss didn't ask anyone specifically, but Jaune shook his head anyway. One look around, and Blake seemed to also be suspiciously absent. Groaning, Weiss set out to the task of being the only responsible and mentally stable huntress in their party.

She knew what she would find before she heard the muffled laughter, and Weiss missed home a little bit more, even if the thought of home made her feel sick. But right now she really missed doors with locks.

"I don't mind it." Weiss heard Blake's voice, low and raspy, and she never wanted to hear it again. "It's part of you."

"But don't you think it's too cold? Or too hot? The heat transfer is insane with the metal," Yang responded, giving more information than Weiss was willing to process.

"I'm approaching this area!" Weiss yelled from about ten feet away from the giggling couple. "I repeat, I, Weiss Schnee, perfectly capable of hearing and sight, am approaching this area!" she repeated, to which the giggling increased. The nerve of these dorks.

Weiss crossed a tree line to find Blake's boots just hitting the ground, her jacket rumpled, and Yang's arms still shamelessly around her.

"Heya, Weiss," Yang greeted with a grin while Blake had the decency to blush.

"Unbelievable," Weiss murmured, arms akimbo. "You left a while ago looking for firewood," she accused Yang, who shrugged and pointed to the forgotten heap at her feet. "Ruby's cold," Weiss added with a drop of teasing, satisfied with Yang's furrowed brows. "I know this is exciting and new for you," she continued, "but not everyone is in the mindset to enjoy your honeymoon phase. So please keep your hands to yourselves."

"We were about to head back," Blake offered with a small smile. "Care to give me a hand?" There was a glint in her eyes as she asked Yang, but it took Weiss a second too long to catch up.

"No problem!" Yang responded, detaching her prosthetic while Blake piled it along the firewood.

"I can't," Weiss said before walking back into the tree line without a second glance in the direction of her adorable but insufferable teammates. "And you have a hickey, Belladonna!" she added triumphantly, marching back to camp.

0000

The rain never stopped. It fell mercilessly, and they haven't seen the sun in the Dark Acre for days. Ruby had barely been speaking, and the tension between their group was palpable, like a constant heartburn in the back of Weiss's throat. They had been taking turns watching Ruby, and tonight it was Weiss's time to try and convince their broken leader to eat.

"It's not that bad," Weiss said as she chewed on stale carrot-cheese, offering a piece to Little and another to Ruby. "It's aged cheese, if you think about it."

"Yeah," Ruby answered apathetically, turning her back to Weiss. Impromptu naps were another thing Ruby had started doing, which Little celebrated at first but then understood that it was a problem.

"Rest." Weiss tried to adjust Ruby's hood around her, but the girl shrugged her off. "I'll check on Blake and Yang for more food."

"I'm not hungry."

"I know." Weiss took a deep breath and stood on the moist ground. Her fighting skirt had seen better days, but she was Weiss Schnee, and she patted her thighs with grace and elegance as she set into the task of finding more food. Rain kept its ruthless pace, though as she walked farther from camp, it seemed to slow to an annoying trickle. Her hair was not doing well either way.

She found a tree with fruits Jaune would have to clear for them before eating, and as she spotted another fruitful tree, she heard a sound that made her stop in her tracks.

Not a grimm; not a Jabberwalker. Right now, not even Salem's laughter would make Weiss this instantly mad. Weiss groaned out loud at the sound of moaning.

"What have I done to deserve this?" Weiss expressed to the picked fruit in her hands. She located the source of the sounds, a small cave to the side of a clearing. Part of her wanted to ignore it and bleach her brain, but Ruby was alone and they needed food. Someone needed to knock some sense into those two. She expected such abhorrent behavior from Yang, but pulling Blake into it was too much. She left the fruit outside the cave and took a deep breath.

"Too much, too much." Weiss heard Yang's voice echoing in the cave, followed by a hiss. "Slower, Blake."

Weiss froze on her way inside because there was absolutely no way they were up to that.

"I'm sorry," Blake replied, her voice low and calm. A sound of kissing followed, and Weiss gagged. "I'm going to try again. Try to relax."

Weiss wanted to die.

"But you also need to push a little harder on the way out, or it won't work."

Scratch that. Weiss was dead.

She jumped inside the cave, her rapier in the air as her other hand covered her eyes. "I can’t believe you two are even in the mood for such lewd behavior!" she yelled, brandishing her weapon at nothing. "I’m giving you ten seconds to look presentable before I open my eyes!"

"Weiss, open your eyes," Yang deadpanned.

"Are you both dressed?" Weiss pressed further.

"Yes," Yang confirmed in a similar monotone. 

Weiss opened one eye first, scanning the cave quickly. Both Yang and Blake were indeed wearing pants, and while Yang had her jacket off, intimate body parts were 100% hidden. Yang’s arm was detached, and Blake’s hands were around the base connected to Yang’s scar. 

"It’s been bothering me since I got it back," Yang explained. "I usually need help when detaching the base."

Heat flared in Weiss’ cheeks. "Well, I see you already have assistance." Weiss nodded at Blake, her cat ears betraying the laughter her mouth managed to dampen. "I will be heading back to camp, then."

"What did you think we were doing?" One golden eyebrow was up, followed by a half-smirk. "Weiss Schnee, did you really think Blake and I were having s—"

"You have no limits, Xiao Long."

"How dare you"—Yang placed her left hand over her heart—"I would never."

"Is everything okay back in the camp, Weiss?" Blake asked before the teasing escalated.

"We’re looking for food."

"We won’t take long," Blake amended with a small smile. Weiss frowned at Yang, who grinned innocently as she left.

"C’mon, let me tell her," Yang said once Weiss was out of earshot.

"Don’t you dare."

"It’ll be good for her!"

"Yang, no."

"It was just some hand stuff," Yang said while shaking her prosthetic.

Blake couldn’t hold her giggles, leaning to kiss Yang’s cheek. "I love you… but let’s tone it down around Weiss. She might explode."

"We should set her up with Jaune."

"Yang, no."

0000

Through the sandstorm, Weiss heard the familiar shriek of a Nevermore. Wyvern and Lancers also took the sky, attacking at random intervals.

"Ruby. Ruby, open your eyes!" she begged her unconscious teammate. After using her eye power, Ruby had fallen limply, and it took most of what was left of Weiss' aura to clear the path to her friend. "Ruby!" she yelled, sand entering her eyes and mouth. "Ruby, talk to me!"

"We gotta bounce!" Nora yelled from behind Weiss. "I’ll help you carry her!"

"Wait, where are Yang and Blake?" Weiss asked with Ruby’s arm around her neck.

"They were the ones distracting the big flying chicken."

"The Nevermore?"

Nora shrugged, shooting a flying grenade in the direction of an approaching flock of Wyverns before helping Ruby up from the other side.

"Can you take her by yourself?"

"Weiss, we need to leave!" Nora’s statement was punctuated by Winter’s chilly attack somewhere above them.

"I’ll meet you back at Shade!" Weiss didn’t look back and ran in the direction of the fight.

"Weiss!" She recognized Winter’s voice. "You need to leave this instant!" Her sister had become overprotective since they returned, but there was a layer of fresh desperation in Winter’s voice as she landed next to Weiss.

"Have you seen Blake and Yang?" Weiss held her sister’s shoulders.

Winter’s eyes widened. "Winter?" Weiss insisted, but they had to break apart as a Lancer tried to sting her from behind. As the grimm froze to death, Weiss latched to her sister’s forearm. "What happened, Winter?"

"I saw the moment Yang’s aura broke. Blake was with her, but I haven’t seen them since. Weiss, come back here!"

Nothing could stop Wiess from finding her friends—her family. Hunters ran in the opposite direction, as it was clear they had been called to retreat. They trickled in behind Winter’s line of defense, but none of the hunters were Yang or Blake. She wasn’t going to give up; Weiss would fight wave after wave of grimm to find them.

Winter had taken Weiss by the waist when she heard the familiar sound of a high-caliber weapon.

Ember Celica.

"They’re here!" Weiss yelled before her sister carried her away. "Yang! Blake!"

"Help!" Blake’s voice, followed by more shots. Winter was gone in a flash, flying through the harsh storm in the direction of Blake’s cries. Weiss watched as Blake ran in her direction, with Winter carrying an unconscious Yang above them.

"We need to go!" Winter ordered, grimm’s growling intensifying with the lack of hunters. "Now!"

Weiss took Blake’s forearm, as her hand was occupied holding the left pair of Ember Celica. "You two need to stop running away!"

Blake chuckled a wet laugh, her eyes red-rimmed. "We love you too!"

"I’ll strangle you both once Yang wakes up!"

"Don’t give her ideas!"

"BELLADONNA!" 

#rwby #rwby v9 #weiss shnee #weiss my beloved #bumblebly #bumblebee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #ruby rose #another draft for your amusement #balancing drama with humor is an art #fanfiction #rwby fanfiction #rwby drabble #drabble #they can't keep their hands away from each other your honor #let them be happy your honor #10 years is a long ass time your honor!!! #winter schnee

[bree-cheesy]

Another Schlatt piece??? From me??? Who woulda thought??? Not me…

Just in honor of him posting again and his birthday, I’ll bless you guys with my subpar smut writing skills

————————————————

You were one of Schlatt’s old friends from New York. You knew him all through school and until he left for Austin. You weren’t best friends, but you guys were friends. You two went to Prom 3 years in a row together as a joke because neither of you could get a date.

You were definitely disappointed when he left New York. You understood his reasons, but after he left, you were kind of just left alone. He kind of became the only person you ever hung out with.

One night, you were in an extremely horny mood and decided to send a video of you playing with yourself to a person you met on a dating app. Unfortunately, it was late and you were a little tired so you accidentally sent it to the wrong person. That person happened to be Schlatt. The very same Schlatt who was visiting his family for the holidays.

You didn’t even realize it until you heard a knock on your front door. Confused on who would be at your house this late at night, you answered it and saw Schlatt standing there, his jaw clenched and his phone in his hand.

Rubbing your eyes, you didn’t even get a word in before he shoved his way inside and showed the video to you. It was like everything in the world stopped.

“Fuck.”

“What the hell is this?”

He looked genuinely angry and you felt your heart sink down to your toes. It was an accident! But, was he really gonna listen to you when you told him that?

“I-It was an accident, Jay, I swear! I meant to send it to someone else!”

A new look formed in his eyes. A look of pure jealousy. He started walking towards you, backing you up against the wall.

“You meant to send it to someone else, huh?”

You nodded, not trusting words to come out of your mouth right. His hand rested on the wall above your head and he looked down at you.

“I feel like that’s a lie.” His voice was ice cold and rough.

You gulped nervously, suddenly enjoying now close he was to you. You never denied that you were attracted to him, but you never acted on it.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing you sent the video to him. He leaned down closer to you and you felt his breath on your lips.

“You like that I got the video, don’t you?”

You nodded and he grinned. Not even a second went by before his lips were on yours. You let out a moan and kissed him back, pulling his hat off so you could tangle your fingers in his hair.

In what felt like seconds (was really like 10 minutes) you were ass up on your bed, his cock plowing in and out of you. His hand pulling your head back so he could kiss you while he fucks hard into your sensitive hole.

Flipping over to ride him, reveling in the little whines he’s letting out, finally having some sense of control over him. Not that it lasted for long, given his hand was around your neck in seconds and he was ramming up into you, hitting that perfect spot inside you.

Ending up with you sitting on his face, moaning and whining as his tongue took you to places beyond Earth. Your mouth around the tip of cock, hand wrapped around the base while massaging his balls with your other hand. Both of you cumming at the same time, him making you a shaking quivering mess on top of him.

Ending with soft kisses from him, and a very effective clean up. He even raided your kitchen for some snacks and drinks when you both went back to the living room to watch a movie.

— Bree <3

————

Also, I’m begging y’all to ask me to write stuff 😭 I’m running out of ideas here

#jschlatt #jschlatt x reader #schlatt x reader #schlatt #jschlatt x you #schlatt fluff #jschlatt smut #schlatt smut

[chaos-monkeyy]

20 Questions for fanfic writers

Tagged by @trainofcommand and @cordeliaperry , thank you 😁

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

351

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

969,232 !

(I had a soft goal of trying to break a million this year, but I probably won't quite make it. Ah well, next year!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Literally anything I see or read that happens to hit squirrel-brain in the right spot: Stargate, Star Wars, Cosmere / Stormlight Archive / Sanderson's books generally, Loki series & other MCU media, OFMD, Good Omens, Dresden Files, Star Trek (and one-offs for random-ass shows like the Mentalist, 1899, tLoVM, Echoes, etc). Honorable mentions to past beloved fandoms that I'm not super likely to really get back to again include Midsomer Murders, the Witcher, Assassin's Creed, and the Expanse 💕

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Top spot is A wonderful thing (OFMD); the next four in order are all Witcher - A Tight Fit, Stolen Moments, Keep it up, and Undignified.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I love seeing people's reactions, and letting them know how much I appreciate that they took the time and energy to comment (because fuck knows, I don't always have the spoons to comment on stuff myself). And it's so nice to get that connection with people and get excited about stuff together!

(I have missed some replies here and there just because of over-stressing about what to respond, and subsequently feeling guilty that I left them unanswered so long 🙈 ahh, anxiety-brain, you sure are special)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is one is easy, it's definitely Zombie / what's in your head. One of only two times I've written Major Character Death, and the only time I've used the Angst and Tragedy tag.

It's fucking brutal, honestly. Damn good, but ouch. Dark. Sometimes I reread it when I just want to cry hopelessly for awhile. It's like an... emotional reset or something.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings in the happy-sexy-sated vein, but most of my fics are also happy-sexy-oneshots so there isn't any real conflict or worry to come back from that makes the happy ending something that wasn't a given, if that makes sense. My first thought for something more involved was Inflection Point, but it's not exactly a happy ending for everyone. So I think I'll go with Curious Creatures, because even though I know how it ends and I wrote the damn thing, I still somehow get worried it will have a sad ending every time I go back and reread it, and then I'm relieved all over again at the end.

(Honorable mention to the Adventures of Admiral Prawn and Yee-Claw, because how can we not be happy that he found his lost hat with the help of a new friend 😂)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Honestly nowhere near as much as I'd kind of expect to? 😆

I had some rando dickhead giving me grief in comments on a couple Assassin's Creed fics, and I've seen people griping in fandom social media spaces about a couple of my works and the fact they (gasp) existed in the tags at all, but mostly people have been decent and kept it to themselves when they don't like me or my writing 💖

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. All of it. All the smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really! Never published one to AO3. Closest I've got is that Witcher-Assassins Creed WIP languishing in my google docs, and a silly fun little SGA-Original SW thing on tumblr from probably a couple years ago now.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Pretty sure, yeah. Not to the point of really being able to do anything about it but it kinda sucked. Shit happens.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A couple of them that I know of 😁

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Oh hell yeah. Many times 💕

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Cock/Hole.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Mmm I have two published WIPs that fall into that category exactly, Ill-advised encounters and The skills of Assassins. They were really fun, I'd have really liked to finish them, annnd I probably never will 😅

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty damn good at pacing a story, whether it's a oneshot or a longer fic, and at getting ~feelings~ across (whether it's horny feelings, smushy soft feelings, angsty feelings, whatever). And I've been told that I'm good at like... developing a setting and characters in a way that flows or unfolds naturally with the story while you read? Or something like that? (they said it better and it made me very happy)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

That would be not getting things actually started and just keeping the ideas in my head because What If this time I can't make the words do the thing good enough. Especially whenever I have ideas for something potentially longer or more involved, I do tend to kinda shoot myself in the foot by going "eehhhhh that would be a LOT of work though.... I don't want that kind of commitment....... Maybe I'll write down the idea later............"

Also being constantly distracted by shiny new things. But that part's fun 😆

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I use italics, try to limit it to single words or short phrases, and where possible I make the meaning clear or translated somehow within the fic itself. Last resort, I'll add a little glossary to the start or end notes if it's important to the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Midsomer Murders 💖

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I genuinely don't have a favourite! There's a few I'm extra proud of myself for accomplishing, but I really like most of what I've ever written for one reason or another.

Or another answer would be, my current favourite changes like every week and is usually one of my recent fics 😂 Right now it's probably The Taste of My Blade; it'll be something else in a month.

No pressure tags: @dewdropreader , @mirilyawrites , @starport-seven-five , @loki-is-my-kink-awakening , @dedkake , @wantonwhale , and I won't spam tag all the same people as I did in yesterday's tag game in case you're not feeling it right now, but as always - if you see this and want to be tagged, you are! 💙

#tag games #multifandom

[bloomellaa]

Hi I really like your art and I wanted to know how you see Jean and Harry’s relationship after the events. Does he feel anger towards Kim for essentially”taking” Harry. Thanks <3

Thank you !! Well I'm glad you like my art and I have a whole explanation and almost essay incoming so bare with me lol.

Jean isn't angry at Kim because he's been shown admiring him and almost being honored that Kim is even "there" at the end of the game, he has a lot of respect towards him. What would happen reguarding Kim though is Jean having a feeling of jealousy or envy over the fact Kim is able to have such a stable relationship with Harry and even worse Kim seems to have a good impact and influence on Harry where Jean is faced with his own failure and inability to help him during all those years (4). He would end up in a circle of guilt and self-loathing toward that fact, Harry and Jean are really codependent after all. He would love to have what Kim and Harry have since this is what he's been longing for a long time as their relationship escalated pre Martinaise. My guess is, it was fun at first when they met, until it wasn't anymore and became a nightmare over the years. (I could go on about my thoughts on what happened during pre Martinaise and how it ended up being a fiasco for them but I will keep it short.)

I feel like the relationship between Harry and Jean post Martinaise would be tense at first, Jean would be stuck with a "new Harry" that seems to be a half or even a quarter version of the old one. He's not the Harry he knew once, but it's still him on so many levels that it's hard to even digest that, it's a whole process of grief for someone who's not even dead. He would be more distant toward Harry sometimes, sometimes closer, but there would still be that air of uneasiness around as long as they don't talk out unsettled matters on Jean's part. Harry doesn't remember any of it so he's not really the one who is bothered by it directly, however his empathy would just scream at him how much something is wrong and out of place. Jean wouldn't be the one to bring it up in an attempt to protect Harry from his old self. Because he would prefer sacrificing himself in a fear Harry might come back to that old toxic, abusive and self destructive man he was. At this point it's a self inflected wound but Jean would be the type to do that, he mentionned how much they were garbage but somehow he STILL wants Harry back, he just loves the man to no end, he talks about themselves as if they knew each others since 10 years and not 4.

That's why I see him having a short temper with Harry because he still has matters unresolved, it just gets him as a reflex too, always on his guard, is Harry going to go back to how he was ? Of course he wouldn't there's Kim and months passed but Jean is still on fucking edge, years of babysitting a grown ass man and emotionnal abuse don't disappear in a few months.

I personnaly went with the route of having Harry sober for good but being a complete weirdo nonetheless who sometimes has heavy meltdown. In my version of Harry he gets way better with the help of Kim and Kim gets more open about himself the longer he stays with Harry as a new partner. Thing is, slowly Harry will return to be in charge of the Crime Unit giving Jean some slack about being the superior of everyone when actually Harry should have been.

Anyway I hope you liked that little rant I went on about. I could go on and on about what would happen after but basically their relationship as long as they didn't have a serious talk would be somehow unsteady. With up and downs but mostly on Jean's part, and Harry would have a hard time addressing the elephant in the room.

#disco elysium #jean vicquemare #harry du bois #harrier du bois #ask box #jean heron vicquemare #kim kitsuragi #whole ass essay #anon #anonymous #text #shut up bloomella

[shitpostingsystem]

bsd ramblings (season 3 and 4)

“is there really any value to this thing we call living?” dazai’s a mood

KID DAZAI AND CHUUYA OMFGOMFG

“what kind of suicidal punk are you” — chuuya to his future husband 

omg i love the sillies

mori sounds like the kurzgesagt dude ngl

THEY HATE EACH OTHER OMG THEYRE SO IN LOVE

THE  B A N T E R

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

chuuya being a shortie is so fun. “i’m still growing” growing my ass just kiss dazai already 

THE ODA PARALLELS AAAAAAAAAAAAA

dazai you autistic motherfucker 

chuuya being a gang leader is fun

dazai is my silly

wait so chuuya’s technically 7 years younger than he actually is? 

gravity boi x suicidal manic, my favorite ship dynamic 

THE BABIS ARE SKKING THE BABIS ARE SKKING THEYRE DOUBLE BLACK WKEHRUEHUFUEBDHDHSBEH

when are dazai and chuuya gonna kiss dammit

THE SILLIES ARE BANTERING JEUDHWHSUHE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

WHY IS DOSTOYEVSKY SO FINE

dostoyevsky is so silly

i am in dire need of more pm dazai. i need it all. i need more. i crave my husband’s past life. i need to see him and chuuya kiss while wiping out their enemies. 

i can’t wait to write fanfic once i finish this show. i don’t wanna screw up anything canon wise so i’ll wait. i’ll watch all of the show plus the spin-off to get all the dazai i can. i’ve already pirated the movie, nothing can stop me now. 

dazai is a slut and i love him for it. this is actually canon (at least during his pm years he was) 

dazai x kunikida x chuuya

kyouka is my child, i love her so much 

I HATE FANSERVICE. I THOUGHT BSD WOULD BE THE GOOD ANIME WITHOUT IT

KYOUKA MY BABY IM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS I LOVE HERRRRR

power of money?? real american o7 yeehaw capitalism 

bro just walked into someone’s home, sat down, and started laughing

“black daniels” HEY THATS JACK DANIELS

“hey poe!! it’s so nice to see you!!” JUST KISS ALREADY YOU TWO

the random ass fish-eye cuts in this show 😭😭

“OBJECTION!!” what is this, ace attorney???

i love how the superhumans are called gifteds, implying they’ve taken at least one honors/ap course. by that logic, i’m extra gifted (im in honors history and english) 

i haven’t seen dazai in a while wtf. where’s my husband?? i’ve barely seen kunikida, let alone chuuya. ok he’s here rn, prob won’t be for long 

ok but seriously mori is a pedo. elise is getting used even though she’s a fucking brat who gets what she wants

oh shit they got blew up

nvm 

DID AKUTAGAWA JUST NARUTO RUN

oh shit i forgot the catholic existed. puritan, whatever. same difference, both are culty at times

FUCK MORI. THAT FUCKING PEDO.

i think what i love about bsd is that the characters are complex. dazai can be considered a serial killer and definitely bad mentor to akutagawa but an amazing mentor to atsushi and is my husband

i love dostoyevsky’s english va. they did such an amazing job. 100/10 russian accent 

MY HUSBAND GOT SHOT OMGOMGOMG MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYY

HI CHUUYA I MISSED YOU. AKUTAGAWA TOO HI HELLO 

RANPO <33 MY SILLY GETTING SERIOUS OOOOOO

HI KENJI IT’S BEEN SO LONG I HAVENT SEEN YOU

CHUUYA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

virus cannibalism my favorite /j

kunikida has tear gas powers? what is he, a cop???

oh noooo a kid got shotttttt how terribleeeeee  /s

THE SAD AF MUSIC I CANT WHY IS THERE A CELLO HERE

oh that’s why, dostoyevsky has one

I LOVE GIN <33

kenji the silly!! 

“aren’t you the one who lost to dazai?” RANPO RUBBING THE WOUND IN DAMN

the music is autism frfr

KARL <333333

“if ranpo really were to die in that world though, what would i do with myself?” — edgar allen poe

katai’s dead? damn. rip ig

oh shit here’s the bowl cut lemon dude

the office girls are dating 

damn fukuzawa and mori had a past together

WHY DOES NATSUME LOOK LIKE WALMART HITLER 

dazai making his kids work together is gold

“what did you have for dinner last night?” “yes” GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

the classical music omg 

“you’re quite the rough ride, yknow” that’s what she said

“enough, you’re not paying for this ride” that’s what she said

incel (katai) isn’t dead 

i love how dazai is the mafia boss in a different timeline 

akutagawa and atsushi are so down bad for each other omg

my native english speaking ass hears theodore instead of fyodor. i’m pretty sure it’s the same but different languages but still 

dazai <3

ranpo <3

BAR LUPIN BAR LUPIN WJSBAJBSKWUSMSIMSJDBHSJSHSHS IM GONNA CRY 

wait so season 4 is fukazawa focused? dammit i wanted more dazai

HI RANPO MY SCRUNGO HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI

i fucking love ranpo. the silly 

he’s such a brat. good for him 

IS THERE A CULT????? LOWKEY LOOKS LIKE CHRISTIANITY ON STEROIDS 

oh it’s the play 

“there something everyone else gets and i don’t get it” RANPO MY AUTISTIC SCRUNGO <33 

ranpo my silly <33

honestly i keep forgetting they’re detectives

ranpo has adhd and autism 

ranpo got fucking bitch slapped i love him 

“as always, i have a hard time saying no to ranpo” ITS BECAUSE YOURE GAY POE

“but i got to see your rare, exasperated face so it was well worth the money!” poe you homosexual 

“are you that detective’s fanboy or something?” “no i’m his rival!” how about boyfriend? 

i fucking love ranpo omg 

NIKOLAI IS SO SILLY 

why can i handle anime gore but not irl organs omg

my gore levels are weird. organs and bodily fluids (beside blood) are a no-go but i can see a dead body no problem 

when did atsushi become op

“a total of 625 charges…” MY BABY GETTING ARRESTED NOOO

GOD I FUCKING LOVE NIKOLAI

wait so the ada is a front? wtf??

i’m so confused wtf is going on

the decay of angels would be a cool ass band name

ok so moot says ada is innocent and shit like that. i trust them.

teruko is my child 

everyone’s a shitty person i love them

HI CHUUYA OMG I MISSED YOU SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAA

why chuuya kinda 😳😳

kunikida has ocd (i’m not projecting wdymmm) 

“i won’t let anyone mess up my schedule!” whole mood and a half there kunikida

WHY DOES THE FANDOM IGNORE KUNIKIDA BEING AN IDEALIST OMG

dazai <33333333333333333333

dazai and dostoyevsky are besties fuck you

“she’s so strong-willed! i love it!” MORI YOU PEDO

“Dazai is a good person SOMETIMES! But he’s also a criminal who has done fucked up shit! And he has a personality! He’s really smart! And lowkey manipulative to get what he wants! He’s not amazing!” my moot gets it!! 

morally dubious characters <33

i love yosano so much 

HI ANGO

i love lucy 

sticking out your gyatt for the rizzlerrr you’re so skibidiiiiiiii you’re so fanum taxxxxxx i just wanna be your SIGMAAAAAAAAAAA

sigma is so silly. i love him

dazai is a weezer fan

chuuya is a nirvana fan 

i’m terrible with names so i’m like “oh damn That Dude” both fictional and irl. like atsushi was Terrible Bang Traumatized Furry until i got his name 

i don’t even read omegaverse but every time they say sigma i cringe 

sigma has amnesia?? mood

bro’s a fictional character within a world of fictional characters 

dostoyevsky <3333

sigma named himself??? nah don’t even he was born with an ao3 account 

i don’t know shit about cosmetology but if i got ahold of sigma i would fix his hair

oh hey catholic scarlet letter man

if my beautician aunt saw atsushi and sigma she would take them out of the show, fix their hair, beat them up, and put them back as changed men 

I LOVE DAZAI OMFG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHEN HIS VOICE GETS SUPER LOW AND AKENSISBIZHWHXHWBZUWBZIBQIXHWNXHD

WHERE THE HELL IS CHUUYA OMFG 

#bsd #shitpost

[mediumsizedpidegon]

The Naruto timeline is killing me. I know the general idea is that it’s been ~60 years since Konoha formed but everyone’s talking like Konoha has existed for forever.

It doesn't make sense! Tsunade is in her 50s in canon! she shouldn't talk about Konoha like it was well established when she was a child! By saying Tsunade is Hashirama's granddaughter instead of his daughter, we must interpret that Hashirama had a child like. a decade before Konoha formed, so that when Konoha is 10, Tsunade is born. But that's BATSHIT. that means anyone older than sixty– an age even front line shinobi can reach as evidenced by Hiruzen, and surely an age shinobi that specialize in skills that are less directly combative/take them out of the village often, MUCH LESS CIVILIANS!! You cannot make propaganda good enough to make an entire generation of senior citizens forget that your honorable village hasn't even hit a century.

There is such a big deal made of Hiruzen remembering a time before Konoha and so you expect him to be like. late 80s or 90s. old enough to makes him recalling that time suitably rare. old enough that every shinobi is like. wow. you're hot shit and also God Of Shinobi. But he's SIXTY EIGHT. Sakura's civilian grandparents probably remember a time before Konoha. This is not that big of a accomplishment. I don't care if Kishimoto thinks 60 years is a long ass time to a shinobi. It just doesn't work for the sort of worldbuilding he's trying to sell.

My only options are to either stretch the timeline to fit the vibes of "Konoha has been around soooooo long (while still be relatively new in the grand scheme of things)" or scrap all that "Konoha is ancient" shit.

......So. I’ve stretched it to Konoha being formed 100 years ago when canon starts (the year Naruto graduates the Academy). This is more reasonable, making it so that no one alive really Remembers A Time Before, making Konoha's propaganda much more effective.

This, however, has had some significant impact on Hiruzen's generation because even though I have made them significantly older when canon starts (like. mid 80s) they were still born about ~20 years after Konoha was founded. Early enough that some instability was around and Hiruzen's generation could personally know Hashirama and Tobirama, but they don't actually have any experience living through the Warring Clans Era. This has likewise made the Sannin much much older– around the same age as Hiruzen actually is in canon.

But Tsunade's age actually makes sense for her being Hashirama's granddaughter now! So there's that!

#Naruto #apple skin au #my posts #formatting this timeline has kicked my ass so hard. I had to redo it three times because keeping all the main characters #(rookie nine + teachers) the same age they are in canon while stretching the timeline was a bitch and a half. A way i solved this is having #a lot of parents (Sakumo + Hiruzen + unnamed Hashirama's child) have their children fairly late in life. which. doesn't make much sense for #shinobi. who generally don't make it to ~50. #So the horrible way I have circumvented is by saying that kunoichi tend to have way more miscarriages than civilians. #and that when kids that are born they tend to uh... sometimes kick the bucket before they reach 10. #meaning a LOT of canon adult characters were supposed to have like three more siblings if tragedy hadn't struck. #Sorry Kakashi! It's probably not going to come up in my fic but I gave you two older sisters that died before you were born! #this is great. I've both figured out an in-world reason for why shinobi would want civilian wives (and why civilian girls thought they had #a chance with sasuke) AND filled in some family trees AND made the shinobi world more suitably bloody #worldbuilding my beloved

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

About Me: Favorite TV Shows

I'm gonna be honest with all of you: I'm not much of a TV show guy. I'm just typically not one who likes sinking a lot of time into something unless it's a video game with a lot to do in it. This is why I review movies; they're typically the perfect length for my easily-distracted ass to take in.

But still, there are plenty of shows that have broken that rule and managed to keep me engaged and coming back for more. Some of these are favorites from my childhood, while some of these are more recent shows I finally decided to watch. It's a nice mix, but the main thing here is that all of these shows are something truly special to me considering I took the time to watch them all.

There's a few honorable mentions to go over. The four biggest ones are The Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy, and Rick & Morty. I love all four of these shows... for the most part. My issue with all of them is that despite having stretches that are some of the greatest ever in TV history, they also have huge chunks of absolute dogshit to the point it is debated to this day at which point the shows fell off, or if they even managed to get back on. And sure, every show has bad stretches, but with most of these shows being long running programs and all of them being massive cultural phenomena, it sticks out a lot more. Rick & Morty in particular was hit really bad by this. The reason these shows don't get on while I have other long runners with bad stretches on the list is simple: When these shows are bad, they're offensively bad. Like the middle seasons of SpongeBob are bad, but at least they don't have his giant sperms come to life and impregnate his sister's egg to create a giant incest baby or have an overly long sequence in which he vomits after finding out he fucked a trans woman.

Other honorable mentions include: Batman Beyond, Chowder, Catscratch, Codename: Kids Next Door, Fraggle Rock, Good Omens, Malcolm in the Middle, Heroes, Cardcaptor Sakura, Invader Zim, Ben 10, Gargoyles, and The Mandalorian.

30. Captain Planet and the Planeteers

I had to find a way to squeeze one "so bad it's good" show on the list, but how? Making a show that's pure camp is more difficult than making a movie like that... but they somehow found a way by giving us the adventures of racially diverse eco-warriors fighting against pollution with the held of an absolutely ripped planetary avatar with a green mullet who spouts an endless stream of cheesy puns and one-liners that would make even Schwarzenegger's Mr. Freeze take pause. Every time this show is on, you bet your ass I'm sitting down and watching; it's the most beautiful cheese there is.

29. Bluey

My wife and I caught this on TV during a Disney vacation and we ended up loving it! This turned out to be a blessing, because a while later we had our first kid and she's obsessed with the show (she's going as Bingo for Halloween this year). It's such a cute, charming children's show with relatable messages for both kids and parents, as well as a shockingly good score. It genuinely is one of the best pieces of children's media out there, much better than shlock like Cailou or Peppa Pig (are those shows even still on?).

28. Jackie Chan Adventures

Cartoons based on celebrities tend to suck balls, but maybe they were picking the wrong celebrities the whole time. Maybe instead of MC Hammer, they should have picked everyone's favorite homophobic, PETA-supporting Chinese nationalist action star, Jackie Chan! This show is literally the Saturday morning cartoon. It really had it all: Wild animated action, mystical artifacts acquired through Indiana Jones-esque adventures. all sorts of crazy monsters and supernatural entities, and memorable characters like my man Tohru, who walked so Prince Zuko could run.

27. Sailor Moon

I think everyone remembers their first anime, and this was mine. My mom loved the show, so I ended up watching it a lot back when it was airing on the early iterations of Toonami, and it has made me a lifelong magical girl fan. Maybe Cardcaptor Sakura and PPMM did that whole thing better, but neither show had Sailor Mars, my first anime crush. All that aside, the cheesiness and the sheer earnest power of love and friendship that managed to solve every problem is just peak fiction... I just wish it was nearly as good as the manga.

26. Green Eggs and Ham

If you told me way back when that someday there would be an adaptation of the Dr. Seuss book famous for containing a very limited number of words that expanded on the story, added drama, and threw in a villain who is a blatant spoof of former president and eternal idiot Donald Trump, I think I might have stared at you in utter confusion. And if you told me this show would actually be good, I'd be doubly confused. Thankfully, the show is really damn good, with an impressive cast and good humor that manages to capture the whimsy of the wubbulous world of Dr. Seuss perfectly.

25. Inhumanoids

I think everyone has a soft spot for an 80s toy commercial, but where most would pick Transformers, My Little Pony, or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, my favorite of the lot was this obscure gem of a show. It's such a fun introduction of horror and Lovecraftian abominations to a young audience, and a lot of it is still unsettling and dark to this day. D'Compose will eternally haunt my nightmares between that raspy voice and the gruesome transformations he inflicts on his victims. Good shit!

24. Danny Phantom

Forget that stupid fairy show, this right here is the best thing Butch Hartman ever put his name on. It's a loving tribute to comic book superheroes in the same way Ben 10 was, but I think this show is ever-so-slightly better due to its blend of supernatural and sci-fi working really well (and also it doesn't retcon all magic as being alien energy or whatever the fuck they did with Gwen in the sequel series). The only thing holding it back from a higher spot is how hilariously bad the finale is and the rather scattershot quality of the final season in general. Too many loose plot threads hanging for my taste.

23. The Boys

Seth Rogen has seemingly made it his mission in life to adapt all of Garth Ennis' work in a way that makes it not suck ass, and boy am I here for it. Adapting one of Garthy-boy's most repulsive and spiteful works and turning it into a genuinely great superhero show that satirizes celebrity culture instead of just taking a huge shit all over comic book superheroes was really the way to go, and watching Anthony Starr and Karl Urban command the screen every time they take center stage is a blast. Sure, it's still gory and lowbrow, but it's done in a way where it's honestly appealing as opposed to whatever the fuck Ennis was doing.

22. Mystery Science Theater 3000

I mean, it should be pretty obvious that I love this series, right? If you ever had the misfortune of watching a movie at home with me, you'd know I just do not shut the fuck up and spend a lot of the runtime either pointing out trivia or cracking jokes, and it's mostly because of being inspired by this show. It's also partly because I'm annoying, but that's neither here nor there.

21. Batman: The Animated Series

No fucking duh this is on the list. This is pretty much the definitive portrayal of Batman for a lot of people, one that truly encapsulates everything the character is all about. Kevin Conroy truly owned the titular role, as did his costar Mark Hamill when it came to the Joker, and as if that wasn't enough this is the show that spawned one of my favorite comic characters, Harley Quinn. There's no denying the impact this show has had on Batman as a franchise, but even beyond that it's just a damn good show with really good writing. I sure am glad one of the guys who made it never went and flushed all the good will he garnered from creating this by constantly having Bruce Wayne lust after one of his teenage proteges!

20. Courage the Cowardly Dog

This show is pretty well-regarded for how it showcased some truly weird and fucked up imagery, but I don’t think any of that would be as resonant without the moments of tenderness and heartfelt emotion, the genuinely amusing slapstick, or the often clever writing. When it comes to episodic shows, variety is king, and this show has that in spades.

19. The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

This show seems to be an answer to a question no one asked: What if they made Family Guy for kids? The black comedy, the negative continuity, the numerous pop culture references, the grossout humor, the musical numbers… it probably wasn’t intentional, but it sure adds up. The biggest difference is that this show is way more consistent in quality and has Jeff the spider, making it the superior show by a mile.

18. Digimon Tamers

What do you get when you cross the silly monster battles of Digimon with the writing of the man who brought us Serial Experiments Lain and a heaping helping of Lovecraft? You get this show, of course! It’s darker and more psychological than the goofier seasons before it, and while normally I’d balk at a series shifting tone like this, since this was my first ever Digimon cartoon I watched from start to finish I embraced it with open arms. Hell, this show is probably where my love of psychological and allegorical horror came from. And of course the show gave me yet another childhood crush, and if you’ve read the Rhine City stories I co-author you’ll know exactly which character it was.

17. The Twilight Zone

The brilliance of this anthology series is just the incredibly wide range it has with the supernatural and sci-fi stories. Sometimes you’ll get a resonant and hard-hitting allegory on a social issue, and sometimes you’ll just get a cool, fucked up horror story where some evil little kid can warp reality and holds an entire town hostage to his maniacal whims. I’ve enjoyed every revival they’ve done over the years, but the Rod Serling original just can’t be beat.

16. Stranger Things

I’ll admit that it’s really the first and fourth seasons carrying this show to #16; seasons 2 and 3 are wildly uneven, with 3 in particular veering close to the shark-jumping ramp with its cartoonish Red Scare stereotypes. But even in the show’s weakest moments, the characters and how they interact with each other have managed to keep me invested. How can I be too mad at season 3 when it gave my boy Steve (the best character) a new BFF, Robin (the other best character)?

15. Elfen Lied

I think it’s easy to write this show off as overly gratuitous because, well, it is. Everything here is turned up to 11, from the gore and nudity to the drama and tragedy. I kind of feel the same way about this show as I do for V for Vendetta, where if they cut the crucial tragic backstory it would make the work as problematic as the haters say. But with Lucy’s heartbreaking backstory left intact, it definitely elevates the story into something greater. The manga is still (mostly) better, but I have to give the show credit for introducing it to me, and also cutting out the character who constantly pisses herself.

14. Smiling Friends

Sure, the wacky shitpost humor and the black comedy are great, but can we just stop and marvel at how uncynical the show is? The core concept is a cheerful optimist and a bitter realist work together in a business that helps people be happy, and despite all the hijinks they get into they typically end up succeeding in one way or another. In a world where so many adult animated shows seem to revel in pessimistic nihilism (cough Rick & Morty cough), it’s nice to see a comedy with similar humor but a more optimistic outlook.

13. Ed, Edd n Eddy

This is one of the absolute funniest shows ever, making great use of the cartoon world to pull off the most wacky slapstick you'll ever see. But I think what truly pushes this series this high is the absolutely fantastic sound effects and music it utilizes. Like, holy shit this show is on another level. It all goes a long way towards making up for the living sexual assault joke that is the Kanker sisters.

12. SpongeBob SqaurePants

This show dropped almost nothing but bangers for three seasons, gave us one of the best show-to-film adaptations of all time, generated a near endless supply of memes, and was generally just really fucking funny. And sure, it dipped in quality a bit in its middle seasons, but I think the first three to three four seasons are good enough that they can fuck up as much as they want.

11. Invincible

Gee Amazon, how come you get to have two of the best superhero shows around? Where The Boys is more of a straight deconstruction of superhero tropes, Invincible feels like something of a reconstruction. We still have an evil Superman and morally dubious good guys, but Invincible himself is utterly unyielding in his desire to be good to the point he manages to break down his evil father’s emotional walls and save the world (for the moment) simply by being a loving son. Unwavering goodness even in the face of genuine horror is badass as all hell.

10. Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Not to be a stereotypical weeb, but this show is simply a masterpiece. Now I will admit, the first half of the show was honestly done way better in the original series, and that one also had some interesting takes on some of the characters once it started diverging from the manga. But this series has a much better finale with way better character moments, with stuff like Envy's final fate hitting harder than anything the original show could muster. There's a reason anime fans suck this show's dick so much; it genuinely is that good.

9. A Series of Unfortunate Events

I’m sure I wasn’t the only one disappointed that the original movie never got a sequel, so my hopes were high going into the Netflix series. Needless to say, I ended up extremely impressed; considering how they managed to incorporate the VFD plotline from the very start instead of throwing it in later in the series, I might even go as far as to call it an improvement on the books. I think the most surprising thing here is that despite expecting NPH as Count Olaf to steal the show, it’s actually Patrick Warburton’s portrayal of Lemony Snicket himself that brings the whole show together.

8. Peacemaker

I think this one speaks for itself.

7. Futurama

I love all of Matt Groening's shows, from the loose family sitcom shenanigans of The Simpsons to the great overarching plotline of Disenchanted. But it's really not surprising that the middle ground between tightly-plotted continuity and great humor is my favorite of his works. The best part of the show is no matter how many times it ends, it always comes back and finds new ways to bust your gut and tug at your heartstrings.

6. Gravity Falls

Disney has had many great TV shows in their time, but quite frankly nothing compares to this animated supernatural mystery series about a pair of twins having their summer vacation at a shitty scam shack. The episodes are mainly episodic with hints at the bigger lore, and it doesn't really ever feel like it's dragging its feet. It also didn't overstay its welcome, telling a fantastic story over the course of two seasons before gracefully bowing out while on top. Very few shows can say they ended in top form.

5. Jane the Virgin

One fine day I came home from work to find my wife watching this on Netflix. Curious, I sat down and watched it, not expecting much... and then proceeded to become so emotionally invested in the show I spent the rest of the series shouting at the screen as if the characters could hear me. It's sweet, funny, and absolutely ridiculous, a loving tribute to the telenovelas that inspired it, and a blessing unto this world for giving us the gift of Rogelio.

4. Avatar: The Last Airbender

Yeah, real bold and daring of me to say this is probably the best Western animated series ever, but it’s hard to deny that it’s true. With a rich world, excellent characters, and a strong story it’s to the point where the worst episode would be perfectly fine in any other show, and the best episode doesn’t even feature the titular Airbender at all. It’s just that good.

3. Breaking Bad

You know me, I love character studies of awful people, and few fictional villains are as awful as the egotistical meth manufacturer Walter White. Watching his rise and fall, the numerous moments where he goes further beyond the pale than before, is endlessly gripping, and the fantastic cast of characters helps keep things just as good even if we aren’t following Walt. Mike, Jesse, Gus, Skyler, the Salamancas, Hank, Saul… all of them are fantastic in their own right and could easily carry their own show. Speaking of which, about that last guy...

2. Better Call Saul

As much as I think Breaking Bad is objectively the greatest show ever, I prefer Better Call Saul. In hindsight, you can kind of tell Walter was bad from the start, but Jimmy “Saul Goodman” McGill? We watch him go from a morally dubious but ultimately well-intentioned man into the sleazy bastard he was in the original show, and it is genuinely heartbreaking. This show makes you truly dread the moment Jimmy fully becomes Saul, and considering how beloved the funny lawyer man was that is no small feat. The story of a good man falling from grace only to ultimately claw his way back to ultimately reclaim his humanity in the end… it’s beautiful.

1. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure

I don’t think I could possibly overstate the influence this series has had on me and my writing. The personalized superpowers, the meaningful names, the numerous musical references, the unashamed embracement of even the most ludicrous elements of the stories… If you read the Rhine City stuff you can clearly see where I’ve let the JJBA influence seep in. But even outside the influence, it’s just a damn good action/adventure series, with no part being truly bad (4 - 6 are my favorites, though). It’s never a dull moment watching what sort of insane feats the Joestar family and their allies will pull off against the increasingly deadly forces of evil; here’s hoping we get to see Steel Ball Run sooner than later.

#about me #tv shows #Youtube

[angeliczelda444]

Ok so since my mind won't STFU about TOTK especially with my goat dad Rauru I have yet another headcanon/potential DLC idea for totk. So here it goes. (Also sorry I know this is long but please bare with me)

Ok for starters, I'll make a separate post about this but I'm also coming up with a potential DLC idea to include a backstory to not only the Zonai people but within Rauru and Mineru's childhood and youth. This backstory will show the history of the Zonai and what lead to their downfall and how Rauru became king. In one of the cutscenes I'm thinking of, it will be about Rauru but here he is the age of 10 years old. His secret stone of light was actually his mother's and she shares the same light power as him. Remember when Zeldas mom and Urbosa would call Zelda little bird? She would call him something similar. She would call Rauru "Sweet dove". This is gonna be sad I know but the reason why she gave Rauru her secret stone was not only the fact that Rauru was ready for it.....but she was on the brink of passing away from being poisoned by a group of people who are killing the Zonai. (That will be for a separate post). And with this Rauru swears on his life to become the best Warrior for his people and to honor his mother's wish. And that's where it can fast forward to Rauru in his teen years. (Again, I'll make a separate post for this idea). Ok so now!!! What if there were additional cutscenes for the DLC and it actually shows a bit more of wholesome memories with Zelda in the past along with Rauru, Sonia and Mineru? This cutscene in practicular would focus on Zelda and Rauru. Keep in mind, especially in the ancient stone tablets it implies that Zelda was in the past for quite some time so naturally she would create a bond with these 3. And we've already seen a bit in that one dragon tears with Sonia and Rauru regarding Link. Ok so anyways! This cutscene here would be about Zelda and Rauru. Keep in mind, although she may have Sonias time power and she is mainly trying to use that, Rauru still wants to help Zelda as well with her power of light. And another way for these both to bond is by him showing her around Hyrule within that time and maybe show her his kingly duties. Ok, so this is where it gets wholesome. She's explained to Rauru before along with Sonia about how Urbosa would call her little bird. She has also explained to these 2 how her dad was so hard on her for power of light. Little does Zelda know, Rauru relates to Zelda very much. In the Zonai backstory, his dad was severely hard on him. Hell he was even worse than Rhoam. Rauru felt a huge ass responsibility towards his people back then because his power was seen as rare amongst his people(OK OK ILL MAKE A POST ABOUT THIS LATER OK?) Anyways, he sees this and reassures Zelda that he is in no way pressuring her into this power at all. And here's the wholesome part.....ok remember how Rauru's mother would call him sweet dove? Well.....IN THIS CUTSCENE HE CALLS ZELDA SWEET DOVE!! For example it could be something like "Zelda, you are already doing so much for your people. You carry the world on your shoulders and I know you strive to work hard, but just know that you are doing enough.....my sweet dove." Zelda would get curious as to why he called her sweet dove and he explains that Urbosa already gave you the title little bird and he wouldn't take it away. He explains to her that his mother called him that and how he sees himself through Zelda. So naturally, he called her sweet dove. AND OMG OMG YOU GUYS THAT WOULD BE HIS TERM OF ENDEARMENT TOWARDS ZELDA AND COULD YOU IMAGINE IF THEY MADE ANOTHER HYRULE WARRIORS GAME BASED ON TOTK HE WOULD CALL HER THAT IN THAT GAME AS WELL?!?!?!?! Ugh look this may be a bit copy paste from Urbosa but IDC cause Zelda has never had stable parental figures in her life and Rauru has been a better father to Zelda than Rhoam was. Basically sweet dove would be the fatherly version of little bird ok???? Lol ok yall thank you for coming to my Ted talk. If you made it this far which I know this is long but if you did, thank you. I hope in every ore you break in TOTK will be a diamond and you find the best weapons in the depths lol.

#tears of the kingdom #king rauru #rauru #zelda #zonai #totk rauru #totk zelda #dad rauru #brainrot #writing #dlc ideas #totk dlc #OH MY GOD SO WHOLESOME #little bird #sweet dove

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13e8 the scorpion and the frog (w. meredith glynn)

DEAN Well, see, here's the thing. When a demon tells us to jump, we don't ask how high. We just ice their ass. BARTHAMUS How very "Dean" of you.

this episode and the last i've briefly thought about how in-universe the supernatural books exists and so this rando demon who has been "following their career" also like. surely read those books. and i dunno, man. that periodically skeeves me out :p

weirdly angled prolonged and interesting eye contact

ok blood from a man that's been to hell and back, does sammy not also qualify? and including the clip of dean in hell crying out for sam thanks always love that reminder 🥲

anyway this self-aware heist thing is ... whatever. bunch of random people i'm supposed to keep track of? meh :p

the musical score was largely unobtrusive (outside of the series-long quirky music) last episode, lennertz did it. this one i'm rolling my eyes at so i'm gonna guess it's a gruska :P (it is lol)

s13e8 as shrike / game of thrones s5e8 hardhome - richard brake as the night king

apparently this sadistic murderer been to hell shrike dude was the night king. who we are, i guess, glossing over the fact that he got out of hell

the moral of the scorpion and the frog, the end they both drown, right? can't blame a shark for being a shark?

SAM Dean? DEAN Yeah? SAM Don't get dead. DEAN You, too.

not their regular style but i'll take the crumbs in this episode i couldn't care less about

s13e8 as smash / twilight: breaking dawn part 2 christie burke as renesmee

and safe cracker girl i guess is crushing on dean, sure. i was in her imdb seeing if her age was in there (no) but actually pretty cool looking new series on syfy she's got the lead in, called the ark (trailer) but also??? she was a grownup-ish renesmee in twilight! LOL in that goofy fucking montage

oh good grief, and jackles gets to do some slapstick. to some fucking slapstick carnival music. i do enjoy him as an actor but not so much the comedy he often does in this show

yes sam is also me, correcting the shrike dude (nicely!) about his collection being incorrectly labeled. people love that, let me tell you

GRAB Hey, a little respect? It took years to perfect that spell. If your brother's too stupid to do his part, then that's on him. DEAN What'd you say?

always here for defending sam's honor

DEAN Well, looks like gun beats knife, so how about you hand over the safe, and then we'll all be home in time to watch Game of Thrones. LUTHER SHRIKE I'm more of a book guy.

that was cute, what with the actor being on GOT

SAM Wing it? Dean, these… these aren't like the lasers in Entrapment. There are infinite possible combinations [Sighs] and pressure-released darts. DEAN Did you just say "Entrapment"? SAM I don't know. I mean, I don't… I don't watch a whole lot of those kinds of movies. DEAN Yeah, but you saw Entrapment? SAM Catherine Zeta Jones.

oh right i've seen this bit in gifs, i'm like hey entrapment! i just mentioned that recently! oh right, because of this spn scene

(i'm closer to dean's age than sam's but all the more reason for it to have made an impression on him. her ass specifically was definitely part of the ad campaign)

well lemme guess. bart's bones? we pullin up that old nugget? givin myself a pat on the back, for figuring it out 10 seconds before the reveal

dean in just a henley and brief deployment of the mushy music to acknowledge dean is just totally not suicidal and hopeless anymore hurray 45 second conversation and we're done

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 13x08 #spn mushy music #spn musical score #jay gruska #spnhiky #hiky #game of thrones #twilight breaking dawn #christie burke #richard brake #spn clip

[kariachi]

Brain wanted potential-Loomvin au rewrite so, an au 'Many Happy Returns' version of the concept.

In which Argit has plans and intentions of his own, and they happen to line up reasonably well with Looma's.

Not Tennyson friendly, but also everything is coming from Argit's mouth so, as you will.

~~

Looma came to bound on the floor of her personal craft.

“I’m trying to help you,” was growled before she’d woken enough to get angry and break free. “Let me.” Scowling even before she managed to open her eyes, she found herself all but face to face with Argit. She’d grabbed the Erinaen so lead her to Kevin, after he’d failed to show up for their wedding. After they couldn’t get in touch with him. And they knew he was alright; he was on the news with Ben 10 so often…

“This doesn’t seem like help,” she said, forcing her tone even. He’d already proven he could best her if he wanted- and surely it was her own fault for doubting someone who spent so long with her Kevin- and he was their main source of information. Diplomacy, though it had never been her strongest point, was better here.

“You gonna listen to what I have to say, rather than talk over and ignore me, then?” The pair stared at each other for a long moment.

“Yes.”

“Alright then.” With near silent steps he came to release her, moving careful, quills at the ready. “And watch that temper.” With royal poise, Looma sat up on the floor, rubbing away at the ache in one of her ankles.

“Your ‘help’ then.” Turning her seat around to face her, Argit collapsed into it with an annoyed hiss she was reasonably sure wasn’t aimed at her.

“What are your thoughts on Kev?” For a second all was silent, Looma blinking in confusion at the question. The man was her fiancé, for fuck’s sake.

“He’s a skilled warrior, a brilliant mechanic,” she said, drifting through her memories of him- from their fight to the discussions of vehicles they and her father had shared- “his work with Ben 10 proves him principled, and his sacrifices prove him honorable.” There had been so much going on at the time, but she still kicked herself for not dropping it all to go check on him, when word got out of what had happened. She’d been negligent in her duty to him. “Plus, he’s funny.”

Argit sighed.

“I can work with that,” he said, “puts you about on parr with the competition at least.” Looma’s chest tightened, anger rising in her gut.

“Competition?” He flashed a toothy, humorless smile her way.

“Kev met a chick he thought was cute and capable and she used that as an excuse to refuse to let him turn her down. She and her family have spent the last couple years convincing Kev that his worth is tied to how good a partner he is to her, and that anything that doesn’t line up with being her perfect devoted man makes him a bad person.” Oh no, no no no. Nobody was stealing her man out from under her, and certainly they weren’t going to tear him down to do it.

“So I kick her ass and take him back,” she said, shoving off the floor

“Sit down!” The order came with a fierce snap of his teeth, surprisingly intimidating for someone so small. Reminding herself that he was trying to help her, she did as he said. “You’re going to make their job easier, running in like that.” As she got comfortable, he heaved another sigh and scratched at his muzzle.

“All that ‘I’m gonna break his bones’, ‘I’m gonna fight her over him’,” he said, “humans don’t do that. In fact as far as humans are concerned that’s a sure sign that you should be kept away from him for his own safety.” For a heartbeat Looma almost argued- that was, if anything, incredibly romantic- but stowed her impulsive and hot-tempered nature as deep as she could. Argit had been dealing with humans as long as he’d been dealing with Kevin. Certainly he knew more of them than her, and, as her father had told her before, if she wanted to be a good wife she would have to learn. “That’s why they have to work so hard at Kev. Red does the same shit, and if they didn’t convince him he was awful enough to deserve it he’d be long gone.”

Okay, that made what she was hearing about this ‘competition’ worse. It hurt, to learn that what she had been raised to see as acts of romance were considered by Kevin and his people just normal acts of violence. The power, skill, and care needed to break another’s bones enough to strengthen without crippling, the strength and dedication to defend them while they healed, unappreciated at best and condemned at worst. The devotion it took for a woman to challenge her fiancé’s suitors. Yes, unlike most women Looma didn’t have a host of other options for a husband, but the point still stood.

But to learn all this, while at the same time hearing that your ‘competition’ is doing those things anyway? That she grew up in a culture where this was condemned and still does it, tearing down your man to facilitate her behavior.

Screw fighting her, she was going to kill her.

“If you go in there,” Argit cut of her train of thought, “picking fights and talking about breaking bones and shit? All you’re gonna do is scare Kev off. You’ll be treating the shit he’s being punished with as proof you love him, and he’s not gonna want that. Plus, he’s already primed to be against people picking fights with Red.” Fuck.

Fuck.

“So what do I do then,” Looma asked. “I don’t intend to just walk away and let her have him.” She’d known she should have gone to check on him, they may well have been able to avoid this whole issue. His smile took on a sharper edge, eyes crinkling as his ear twitched.

“You are gonna sit there and take notes,” he said, “while I teach you how to romance him right back into your corner.”

#fanfic #also added a bit of worldbuilding because in 'warrior culture' stuff in fiction you keep seeing broken bones being seen as a good sign #and i wanted an actual cultural reason that might be a thing

[eat-the-richard]

GOTY OF THE YEAR 2,000,023

IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME AAGAIN FRIENDS! Another overly long written ramble about the very best in my personal gaming life and experience delivered DIRECTLY TO YOUR EYEBALLS!

And what a year it was!! For gaming! All of it! Just a comprehensive onslaught of video game products from all different genres and developers. From Triple As to Indies to whatever the fuck we're supposed to call the middle ground of those two. No matter who you (yes, YOU, not the general ""you"") are, something came out this year that tickled your little small little balls in one way or the other.

The best part of all, though? A year like this will NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!! Certainly not next year, like my god look at that 2024 upcoming games list, man. It is *slight*.

You wanna know why? Because this amount of quality output, of course, does not come from studios or companies or brands or even the almighty dollar sign. It comes, of course, from people. People who are insanely talented and passionate about their craft. Likely those who dreamed for years to be a part of this seemingly amazing industry of creative professionals all striving towards the same creative goals. And for gaming developers, 2023 was not a year worth celebrating. Sure the products that they worked on released to the public to play and enjoy, but as soon as these projects wrapped up, the studio or company or brand or even the almighty dollar sign ditched their ass RIGHT TO THE CURB!

Because to all of those previously mentioned abstractions, talent is expendable. Demand for talent should be at an all time high, given that gaming continues to be the most money-making entertainment medium of the 21st century. So more games should be in development, therefore necessitating more job opportunities and areas where passionate individuals can spearhead their own creativity into a golden goose. But, of course, this is not how abstractions operate. The talent who creates these fine pieces of art are mere cogs to them, oiling and greasing a machine that will continue to move as long as the pieces are in place. And there will always be a new crop of cogs fresh in the industry who will be willing to take meager pay, miserable conditions, and limited flexibility in their line of work, as long as they get a chance to work with the abstractions.

This, of course, will not happen. The continuous horror of the modern gaming industry spreads far and wide. Notably to our youth, as chronically online as they are, who likely will not want to invest their time and life into a career that will never respect them. As for the talent who have been laid off every month this year? They won't stick around. Their services are applicable in many other fields that not only pay better, but have far more job security. So the talent pool dries up, there will be increasingly fewer individuals looking to refill, and the gaming bubble finally pops.

We're at the precipice of it, and it's hard to ignore the warning signs. It's hard to write a piece about the "great year in gaming" we as consumers had as it feels like the industry that created it might not look the same way in 10 years. Gaming won't die, obviously, there's too much demand for it. But the 300 million dollar blockbusters, the 3-4 year crunch periods, the constant race to produce technological best. That will die. And this year was the last hurrah.

So, in that spirit, let's celebrate the year that was for me. The 10 best games from this year and previous that remind me why I love it in the first place. Why I want to support it, and wish it nothing but the best. And most of all, highlighting the talent who ultimately made it possible, rather than the abstraction who will tear it down.

---------------

Anyway! Enough of that SHIT!! Video games are cool, and I like them. Today, we’re going to RANK the TOP 10-ish GAMES I PLAYED in Twenty Twenty Three. But before that, let’s dive into some dis/honorable mentions.

REMASTER I REALLY LIKED BUT DIDN’T WANT TO RANK BECAUSE ITS A REMASTER OF THE YEAR: Metroid Prime Remastered (NSW)

Take your pick of, like, six or seven different 25-30 year old Metroid fans and slam them elbow-first into a padded cell. Once they come to and they start talking about Metroid, as you do in confinement, about five or six of them will confess that their first love was Metroid Prime. I would count myself one of them inside of the cell, even if it took me until 2015 and the shudders Wii U Virtual Console for me to finally give it a try.

The six-or-seven imprisoned Metroid fans will inevitably start comparing the two most popular entries in the series: Super Metroid and Metroid Prime. To me, Super Metroid is all about its scenario. Finely tuned and expertly paced, “Super” is a game I play for that jolt of the Metroid formula that currently makes up ½ of every game that comes out nowadays. But Metroid Prime is about atmosphere. The reflections of Samus’ face in the visor dotted by raindrops from above. The movement of fauna, shade & various enemies flowing through every screen. Honestly while I’m writing this the Phendrana Drifts theme is playing in my head.

Metroid Prime isn’t as precise as Super Metroid, but its ambiance is striking. This presentation, already beautiful on the GameCube, is only enhanced on Switch. Despite very little of the original Prime team still being at Retro Studios, you can tell this one was crafted with an enormous amount of respect for the source material. It gets the rare yet coveted distinction for a remaster/make/release of looking just as you remembered it your first go around, yet looking obviously much better when compared side by side. It does well to continue the legacy of this momentous game, to hopefully expose its importance to more than just the five-or-six of us currently jailed. 

By the way, the one other guy who didn’t grow up with Prime? He was chatting our ear off about the “subversive excellence” of Metroid Fusion or something. How “forcing linearity in an otherwise exploration heavy series can make you feel weak and frightened” and “it has a much tighter difficulty curve than any other title in the series.” Something like that anyway, couldn’t really hear over the all-time noogie numbers I was putting up while he was stuck in a headlock.

GAME I'M MOST MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT FINISHING: Outer Wilds (PC)

Is it a me thing? Am I not the type of guy who would truly appreciate a game like Outer Wilds? Spoilers ahead, obviously. Don’t read this part if any part of your bones and back wants to try this one out, dead serious.

Because what a HOOK this game gets you in. The first time the sun engulfed my puny little carcass, the previous session reverses itself right in front of me and the world just completely reset itself? Astonishment, blown away? Other thoughts like that. Conceptually, Outer Wilds is a knockout. The obvious point of comparison is Majora’s Mask, but the mystery at the heart of Outer Wilds is a lot less simple than Find The Four Giants. It’s a weaving thread binding all the game’s planets, but one you must piece together largely yourself.

Which made dropping it back in April and trying to come back to it hard. I probably just have to totally restart it and really really focus on what each little node of information is saying. Or just use a guide or something idk

LEAST FAVORITE GAMING EXPERIENCE OF THE YEAR: Sonic Frontiers: The Final Horizon (PC)

Ok this title might be hyperbole a bit since I didn’t completely hate it, I just wanted an excuse to write about SONIC AGAIN! I LOVE BLUE MEN!!

Speaking of hyperbole, how about the reception of Sonic Frontiers? Seems like everyone was busting their loads over this one last year. I get it, to a certain extent. As BlazeHedgehog said in his one-hour dissection of the game this year, food tastes better when you’re hungry, and us poor Sonic fans are starving. I don’t think Frontiers is perfect by anyone’s standards, but it at the very least leaves a decent yet slightly rocky foundation for future games to knock it out of the park with.

The Final Horizon is “future games”, I guess. And uh, yeah this one didn’t knock it out of the park. Kinda bunted? Maybe tripped over first base or something idk how to make better baseball analogies than this. 

My main disappointment comes from the three new playable hedgehog/hedgehog adjacent creatures. Maybe it's my fault actually, since I had this wonderful idea in my head of how sick it would be for Knuckles or even Amy to have fully decked-out combat trees. Instead, these new characters are actually terrible at combat and you shouldn’t even try. They’re pretty specifically geared towards platforming challenges, unfortunate since all of them feel pretty miserable to control. My original review of this update was “Knuckles controls like an asshole” but they kind of fixed the controls so my review has been updated to “Knuckles controlled like an asshole* *when it launched therefore when everyone played it Knuckles controlled like an asshole”. 

Despite my gripes with base game Frontiers, at the very least it felt like a game that was rigorously playtested. Not polished by any means (for crying out loud they never fixed the pop-in), but most platforming challenges had a certain sense of flow to them that made the open zone concept work. Final Horizon does not feel properly playtested. Levels are far less scripted, which would be a great thing in an engine that didn’t feel this busted. The difficulty spikes up seemingly at random, with the three titan boss rush on hard being probably the most unfair challenge in a Sonic game that I can remember. Even the final boss (which features one cool scene where blue eyed Super Sonic gets shot out of a gun) requires a target switching mechanic the game never expects you to know or use by that point, unless I’m an idiot. Which is always the fear.

Ah well, at least it was free. And I don’t want this to be a sign for Sonic team to ditch the open zone for the next game. I do think it can work, but the main gameplay engine needs an overhaul. Not even a Sonic Utopia masturbatory “iT sHoUlD jUsT cOnTroL lIkE tHe ClAsSicS” style control necessarily, just one that feels inherently fun to run around an empty field in. Which is easy to say, I guess. “Make the Sonic feel more funner to control,” the critic says. “Allso give me a cheeseburger “

Congratulations on winning your oddly specific category awards, previously stated video game products! Time for the top ten which was going to be a top sixteen but I’m already incredibly late on this so I’d rather not write about six extra games sorry.

10. Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage (PS1/PC)

The intro to Spyro 2 was fun all three times I played it this year. Once on original hardware at a friend’s house, another time on my own through a PS1 emulator, and a final time through the Reignited trilogy remake. Reignited was where I played through Spyro 1 for the first time some years ago, and although the Spyro 3 remake is allegedly trash (according to my one friend who learned how to read by playing Spyro 3 at age 3), the remake of Ripto’s Rage is pretty OK by my less demanding standards. Plus it ran well on Steam Deck for whatever that’s worth.

Thankfully, playing the intro to Spyro 2 three times was actually a worthwhile thing to do! Unlike Spyro 1 which basically just lets you 100% complete every level the first time you go through it, Spyro 2 requires abilities and unlocks from later levels in the game to get every orb & collectable. Every time I replayed the various levels in Summer Forest, I learned which levels (even areas of levels) I should avoid until I learned how to climb up ladders or whatever. It is much more enjoyable on a replay to keep these types of things fresh in your mind rather than coming back to it years later as a grayed & tired old hag.

While I’m not as story-pilled as a lot of my gaming peers, even in simple games I appreciate when it feels like your actions have weight to them. Completing every level in Spyro 2 isn’t just about collecting the shiny objects and touching the top of the flagpole. Each area has its own particular race of organism coming to you with an issue caused by Ripto. And while it isn’t super complex, your actions through the level are helping that particular group of living beings. When going through the entire game, and thereby helping all of these groups with their minor or major little quibbles, it’s pretty satisfying to look back on once the game comes to a close. That element is, I think, what makes a crusty little game like Spyro 2 still hold up in the face of a very different world.

9. FEZ (PC)

For a while, I didn’t want to like FEZ. I had it on Steam, but only as a result of a Humble Bundle, back when you could specify how much of your bundle purchase went to each specific game creator. And I will never forget looking at Phil Fish and his stupid face, gleefully pulling his contribution slider allllll the way to the bottom, probably capping out at $0.01.

That was 2014. 10 years later, I have two thoughts. 1. Phil Fish’s controversy feels very very trite in comparison to what the internet or, fuck, even the ENTIRE WORLD has turned into. And 2. Phil Fish is a genius.

People were saying it at the time but I just didn’t want to believe them. And I probably didn’t have the capacity to wrap my head around what FEZ was doing. It’s an entry into what I want to define right now as an “unraveling” game (remember this, it will come up later!). On the surface, FEZ is simple. It even has simple graphics! You’re a simple man, living in a simple town, with only a jump button to your name. Then, another layer. A Fez, perhaps, on the top of your gay little head. In gameplay terms, the perspective now shifts when you press the triggers, I think all Fezes do that? Anyway, fun little platforming gimmick for a little 2D game, right?

Wrong. FEZ is a 3D game. Your position in the world is a little tricky to manipulate, but it is mapped in a 3D space. You can even view the world in 3D once you beat the game and get sunglasses. I think all sunglasses do that? Anyway, this allows for some inventive puzzle solving through trying to figure out where to jump and where to shift perspective to make your way out of the room. Can be pretty tricky, but ultimately achievable, right?

Wrong. The puzzles at the end of FEZ are not possible. Literally, I think. The last puzzle is not possible without datamines and brute-forcing it. But for the puzzles that are possible, the amount of honest to god code cracking you need to do at the end of the game is not what I was expecting. I had to bring out an honest to god notebook made of paper from wood and write down my interpretation of the game’s little language. Other games certainly take inspiration from the unraveling layers of FEZ,

8. TUNIC (PC)

Hope you were paying attention! Thank god this game comes right here on the list so I don’t have to test your attention span. TUNIC is also an unraveling type game, in sort of the exact same way to FEZ actually. It appears to be a gorgeous yet sort of simple claymation sorta interpretation of the original Legend of Zelda. You’ve got a couple a silly lookin enemies, item pickups like bombs and potions, you get to explore an overworld and some dungeons. It’s Zelda 1, right?

Wrong. TUNIC is Dark Souls. Beyond just being able to fat roll, enemy encounters can get brutally difficult, and they all respawn when you die. Upon death, you drop a bit of your coins on the ground in a ghost that will stick around when you come back to that same spot. You save and respawn at a fire. Now, comparing a game to Dark Souls is kind of like the most overdone thing in games writing at the point, but it definitely helps that you can get a sense of that original Zelda formula in all of FromSoft’s games. So TUNIC aping those trends feels like a good match, I think. From here, progression might start to make sense. You travel from save room to save room, clearing dungeons and beating bosses. Eventually you’ll find a really big one, and the game is over, right?

Wrong. TUNIC is a game about not being able to understand English. The story is pretty well known at this point I think, but the sole developer of TUNIC was inspired by playing through the notoriously obtuse-without-a-manual Zelda 1 without being able to understand the words of said manual. In TUNIC, you will find pieces of a very similar looking manual all throughout the world in no particular order and in a language you cannot read. Eventually in TUNIC you’ll hit a wall where you have no idea what to do or where to go. And suddenly, you look at a single page of the manual in a slightly different way, maybe even with your head tilted a little bit more to the right. And suddenly it all makes sense. 

There’s another way in which this game unravels but it’s sort of like the impossible puzzles in FEZ and I haven’t even begun to try and wrap my head around it. I beat this game with the bad ending and I still had a jolly ole time with it. Very much my sort of game this one is. No spoken dialogue, story communicated entirely through gameplay, and hard as balls bosses. Now if only this one featured a funny little dwarf….

7. Deep Rock Galactic (PC)

Me and my friends cycled through a lot of different games this year. Still wrought in grief over the loss of TF2 and Overwatch, I think. I was kind of the outside guy in these multiplayer romps, as I am burdened with two jobs and game at weird times of the night, but I got enough time in each of them to get the idea. But of all the multiplayer games I dabbled in, the one that I am so sad I wasn’t around to play more is Deep Rock Galactic.

DRG is immediately charming. Playing as a stupid drunk dwarf is kind of inherently a little ridiculous and Ghost Ship leans into that hard. There’s of course the dedicated ROCK AND STONE button, but did you know there’s a dedicated coughing button? Not even loud obnoxious coughing either; subtle, painful coughing that feels like a burden to deal with (don’t @ me I know it’s not supposed to be a coughing button). The hub of DRG is honestly the most fun part of the game, I think. Just spending time with the buds fucking around with barrels and getting drunk on exploding IPAs is quality stuff. 

I only played Driller, I think? The rest of the characters are probably fun though. I just liked being able to serve that oh-so-important purpose of pressing M1 in a direction and overheating by accident, as well as using my flamethrower to hurt my teammates. And using my C4 to hurt my teammates. I’m sure they all hate playing with me since I suck ass, but it’s hard for me to get mad at myself when I’m bad at the game since the stakes feel pretty low. Co-op games like this always appeal to me more than PVP for that exact reason, and I hope I can put DRG on this same list next year when I’m a little bit more seasoned.

DRG also fucked up my reflexes for every other game as I always want to press F to throw a flare into a dark room. Even in real life! 

6. Dying Light (PC)

Another multiplayer game, although this one isn’t really originally intended to be multiplayer. This game flew under the radar for me for a long time until one of my friends randomly suggested we play it co-op one day and we all happened to have it for free on the Critically Acclaimed Epic Games Launcher. First thing to address here, this game is shockingly seamless as a multiplayer game considering it’s obviously a single player game primarily. Ok, maybe not quite seamless since all the player characters are the same generic white guy protagonist. At least you can wear a clown outfit? But the connection never dips, you’re never kicked out for no reason, everyone gets to watch a cutscene at the same time. Great co-op experience overall.

Honestly, the story and scenario of Dying Light is very uninteresting to me. We haven’t even beat the main story yet. In fact, we go out of our way to not do the main story and just focus on side content as much as we can. Because the core gameplay of Dying Light is fantastic. Again, this game completely flew under the radar for me and I feel like the same thing happened to most people I know. So I was shocked at how good the game feels. Jumping from roof to roof rarely doesn’t work once you know what you’re doing thanks to the generous ledge grab system. And once you get a grappling hook? Bitch, every game should have a grappling hook. 

Combat is where the game really shines though. We set the difficulty to hard right away, which initially made it practically impossible to kill even the most basic type of zombie. If you’re just trying to whack the undead with a simple melee weapon, you’re probably going to get your health drained in an instant. Obviously you get better weapons, even guns towards the back half of the game. But you don’t want to use those all the time, especially guns since they make a ton of noise and alert a ton of infected. So it’s when you start unlocking cool-ass moves like the little kick you do to finish off downed enemies skulls, tackling zombies to the floor, vaulting over their heads to get a quick move on, even a whole ass dropkick to send them tumbling into a spike wall that Dying Light starts becoming fun as hell to just run around in. 

Dying Light is also tied with Zelda Tears of the Kingdom as having the most “dark” “darkness” in a game I played this year. You straight up cannot see anything at night in this game, and if you turn on your flashlight you might wake up your mom. She’ll grab and kill you!

5. Lethal Company (PC)

What makes writing about Lethal Company hard is that, in a way, it’s undeniable. There’s no wonder why this became one of 2023’s best sellers practically overnight. Its charm is just that apparent. But why? To me, it’s how it straddles the line.

Obviously, Lethal Company is hilarious. It’s baked into the animations, with a jerky running animation that radiates Scooby-Doo-like energy and the single greatest dancing animation in all of gaming. Despite picking up items to later sell being the whole point of the game, they pack in so many silly little trinkets that are hard to separate yourself from; some can even make sounds! The first time I ever picked up the airhorn was on video, and I popped off harder for that than anything else this year. You may find yourself barrelling off the edge of a railing to your death because you thought you could jump over a gap with a big screw in your hand. Lethal Company is not only trying to make you laugh, but gives you the tools to get into a situation that’ll make your friends laugh. 

But Lethal Company is also terrifying. Especially when you have no idea what you’re doing. Deep within the halls lurk otherworldly abominations with behavior that isn’t easy to parse your first time through. Some can be easy enough to avoid like the loot bugs and spiders. But others force you to change the way you move through the level, like the Bracken that requires you to constantly look behind you or else have your neck suddenly snapped, or the Coil Head that requires constant eye-contact or else have your neck suddenly snapped. If the terror was just contained to the halls, that would be one thing. But every Lethal Company player remembers their first time seeing the Forest Keeper, silently tip-toeing your way just out of sight else get eaten alive. You can certainly learn the patterns of each of these hostile entities to make progression easier, but keeping them all in mind while juggling the keys, ducks, and generators in your hands can often be too much to handle.

Despite all the horror elements, though, I never really get too scared playing Lethal Company? At least never for too long. And that’s the beauty of it - the line that the game is teetering on between comedy and terror. Even in observing the objectively very dangerous Bracken, it’s hard not to laugh at how sheepish he looks when backing away from you. When killed suddenly by a big dog outside your ship, the tension breaks once you realize that your friends are going to have to deal with that same dog and laugh as they die with you. Ultimately, Lethal Company’s charm lives and dies by how well it executes its two polar-opposite fundamental elements. 

If updates can give more of a reason to keep playing the game after you learn the trick to each of the monsters, then this will be a multiplayer game for the books. That and add in suit customization bro, like come on the rack is right there!!

4. Super Mario Bros. Wonder (NSW)

If I was 7, Super Mario Bros. Wonder would be my favorite game ever. I am actively envious of the kids who get to grow up playing this game. Mario always hits different when you’re first getting into this method of experiencing media. Learning the fundamentals of controlling Mario is a gaming memory I will always cherish.The timing required to stomp on blocks and enemies, juggling the power-ups required to get certain secrets in a level, and the flow state you reach in jaunting through the familiar sights and sounds are baked into my gaming DNA. 

As such, I found Super Mario Bros. Wonder to be very easy. There are some harder levels sprinkled throughout the game, but in a year that I beat every Super Meat Boy chapter without dying for fun, those didn’t give me much trouble. With that, plus the sheer number of Mario games I’ve played over the past 15 years of my life, I ate this game’s lunch and didn’t break a sweat. It’s probably unfair to knock a Mario game for being easy, but considering I’m not the only person who’s broached this criticism, I think it has enough merit. But again, I am envious of those who do not have this level of skill. To the kids wiping their greasy spaghetti hands on their Switch and Joy Cons, experiencing Mario for the first time because you liked Chris Pratt’s performance in the Mario movie. If this is your first time, this will leave an unforgettable impression.

Course-clear Mario games like Bros 3, World, 3D World, NSMB, and a bunch of other words and letter combinations are built on gimmicks. Gimmick is often used in a derogatory sense in gaming discussion circles to talk about shallow, meaningless fluff added to a game just to add a pinch of variety and extend run time. But as Mario has proven time and time again, gimmicks can be good, actually. It allows each level to stay fresh, with new ideas constantly being thrown at you with no time given to let any of it grow old. Mario Bros. Wonder is built off this same foundation, but goes absolutely nuts with it. The first part of every level is designed as normal, with some set of enemies, power-ups or other obstacles being presented at an easy pace. But as soon as you Touch Fuzzy, Get Dizzy, that gimmick is either flipped on its head or is magnified to the highest extent possible. When you allow your development team to design a game for years with no deadline, this is the type of experience you can create. 

Also, this should go without saying, but this is probably the best looking game I’ve played all year. It doesn’t do anything crazy technically (like this probably could have been done on the Wii?), but each screenshot is blooming with color, flavor, and life. Shouts out in particular to the new Luigi model. I have no idea what specifically they did to his proportions, but DO NOT change it. This is perfect. Look at him. Perfect.

3. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (NSW)

Hilariously, this is the second Nintendo game in a row on the top half of this list that I’m going to spend half the review bitching about. Because TOTK is the exact same as Breath of the Wild. No, not in the way you’re thinking, although that is somewhat part of it. Not because the world is the same, the overall presentation is the same, the areas are largely the same, the combat is the same, the structure of the game is pretty much the same. Not any of that, rather that this game shares BOTW’s biggest problem - it gets worse the more you think about it.

Because while I was playing it, it felt like the coolest thing ever. Ultrahand is a marvel of design and programming, obviously. Should go without saying that the potential of ultrahand is boundless, and that week where everyone was posting their Zelda creations was very fun. The abilities in general are so ingenious that they actively tricked me into playing the same 100 hour game again. Ascend in particular is one of those things that just breaks your brain and makes you want to do it in every single game that you play afterwards. The first time I discovered the depths, after not getting spoiled on it and not noticing it at all in the game’s trailers, made me feel the same magic as those opening hours of Breath of the Wild. It also shares a spot with Dying Light for having the “darkest” “darkness” in video gaming. Congrats! The awards in the mail. And after what I believe to be one of the greatest endings a Zelda game has ever had, with a killer final fight and that moment with Link and Zelda at the end, I was convinced I had played my favorite game ever.

But of course, you cannot make these sorts of decisions on your favorite X thing ever in a day, a week, even a year. It grows with time. And over time, I had a stark realization that Tears of the Kingdom didn’t really fix many of the issues I had with Breath of the Wild, even if I thought they did at the time. Item degradation was annoying the first go around, but the second time, especially considering all the crafting you have to do to get good weapons, feels especially tedious. The story is just as daft and pointless, even if it ends on a better note. The “Sacred Stone?” repetition has already been memed to death at this point but it’s notable how I didn’t even notice it at first since I had already long since tuned out of the story. Dungeons still don’t hit the same as in previous Zeldas, with the precise almost Metroid-like design of items locking progression not even attempted for a second time. Even the depths, which enamored me so deeply when I first found them, gradually became a slog to travel through as its visual repetition and lack of unique content started to dawn on me.

When I was playing Breath of the Wild for the first time, in a life that feels like it was ages and ages ago, I distinctly remember being in awe of the world they had created and the joy I had in exploring it. Even though I had my faults with the game, as I kept thinking about it, that lasting impression is what sticks out so many years later. Will the same thing happen to Tears of the Kingdom? Will its strengths persist in my head in a decade? Or will its blemishes keep it from true greatness in my mind?

One thing’s for sure: I never want to see a god damn Korok again. At least in this game you can create a device that sets them on fire, smushes them with a giant hammer, then catapults them over a mountain into a bottomless pit. Kinda fucked up you can do that…

2. Pizza Tower (PC)

Pizza Tower is fucked up game made by a fucked up man. How else can I explain the absolutely batshit insane ideas this game throws at you? The first level is called John Gutter. There’s another level in this game called “Oh Shit!” where you run around in the sewer. Mort the Chicken from the PS1 game Mort the Chicken returns to grab onto your head and force you to do double jumps. You’re forced to play golf. There’s a level where you get jumpscared by FNAF pizza topping animatronics and at the end you get to Shoot Them With A Shotgun. One of the bosses is a fucked up version of yourself that’s actually made of liquid and is secretly just a brain with eyes. You’re italian. 

I could go on. Despite my cursed Nintendo centric brain, I’ve never dabbled into Wario Land, which Pizza Tower obviously takes a lot of inspiration from. But when looking at gameplay of those older games after finishing this one, I don’t think I would really get a whole lot out of it. Pizza Tower is basically those Wario Land games made by a guy with as sick of a brain as I do, drawing all the assets with MSPaint and cramming each level with crazy bullshit and fun gameplay ideas. Those other games would probably feel kind of lacking in comparison. Like Mario Wonder, the levels in Pizza Tower are gimmicky by design, introducing one-off gameplay ideas and passing the ball to the next idea as soon as possible. So why is Pizza Tower higher than Mario Wonder?

Because Pizza Tower is an anime. When completing each level, you’re ranked from a scale of D to S, same as Sonic. At least that’s what it seems at first, though, as there is another rank. The coveted P-Rank is locked behind not just a perfect run collecting all the pizza toppings through the level, but looping back around and racing through that same level again. All within the time limit given to you when smacking the John at the end of each level. As you can probably tell, this is fucked up. Nothing else in Pizza Tower, not even the batshit level ideas, can reach how fucked up getting a P-Rank is in any level of this game. I’ve only gotten two I think? But Christ, what a rush it is. Pushing your familiarity with the controls and the level like this, reaching a glorious flow state is exactly where I love to be in a 2D platformer. And when I see that sick as hell anime OP ass P-Rank animation, I reach COMPLETE GAMING EUPHORIA.

I am so excited to jump back into this one once I have the time and give this the thorough beating it deserves. Just like how Peppino has been thoroughly beaten….. By The Cruel Hand He’s Been Dealt Through The Struggles Of Maintaining Your Own Pizza Business In A Horrible Capitalist Nightmare………

..

1. Pikmin 4 (NSW)

Hell yeah Baby!!! Pikmimn 4 Sweep! If you don’t play Pikmin 4 I’ll KILL YOu you stupid piece of shit!! 

Pikmin is doomed to be a niche. It’s got a bunch of cute little men walking around and a circular dog that you jump on the back of. But it is so brutally punishing that kids are almost certainly going to bounce off it. And the strategy-heads that would undoubtedly enjoy what it has to offer almost certainly won’t even give it a chance because of the cute little men and the circular dog. This dichotomy, of course, is why I love Pikmin.

I began the year in preparation for Pikmin 4 to finally play the original Pikmin on GameCube. Previously, I had one playthrough of Pikmin 3 but it honestly didn’t do all too much for me for whatever reason. So I wanted to go all the way back to the most busted up, brutal game in the series so I could understand the appeal. Within the first hour of play, all of my Pikmin had either been drowned or crushed by a giant Bulborb because I had no idea what I was doing. And that game has a strict time limit, so you can only fuck up so many times before you get a genuine game over. 

So what’s the appeal? Well Nintendo finally found a word for it in the marketing for Pikmin 4 that probably doesn’t exist in English so they just said fuck it and used the Japanese word anyway: “Dandori 段”. Basically being able to manage your tasks and resources in a timely fashion to reach maximum efficiency. Pikmin 1 forces you to figure this out to some degree or else you’re not getting home. And with the limited scope of that game’s levels, Pikmin types, and enemies, I think it’s a great way to learn. Each Pikmin has a clearly defined use case that directly corresponds with their color, and the obstacles in your path are easy to understand in relation to those basic abilities. Need a powerhouse that can take quick work of this giant beetle? Red is your go to. A ship part is stuck high up? The lanky and tall yellows are your guys. Water? Blue. You get the gist.

The problem with Pikmin 1? And every other Pikmin game for that matter? It’s not enough. It needs more. I’m cool with short games but Pikmin 1 can be beaten in like 3 hours. Pikmin 3 is like 10. Usually more content isn’t what makes a game “gooder” but I do genuinely think that the short run time of previous games made this idea of Dandori harder to tap into on a single playthrough. How did they fix this in Pikmin 4? 

WEll, my friend, they did this through VARIETY OF MODES!

The main story of Pikmin 4 is basically the 10 hour tutorial. A gentle romp through all the major areas, some largely easy enemies, no game-long time limit, heavy tutorializing, an introduction to all the Pikmin types, basically baby’s first Pikmin. Even if you only play the story, you have so much to sink your teeth into. The above ground areas are as fun as ever, with the addition of Oatchi as a Pikmin platform AND a way to introduce platforming into the Pikmin formula being such an obvious and fun addition. Caves return from Pikmin 2 as a break from the time-limit imposed by the rest of the game, allowing for some tighter combat sections and the satisfaction of scouring an entire area and getting 100% item completion. Dandori challenges scattered throughout the levels provide a taste of that hyper-focused time limit gameplay from Pikmin 1, forcing a greater degree of focus and understanding of the mechanics and design than in most of the rest of the game. Nighttime missions morph the usual Pikmin gameplay into more of a tower survival type of thing, protecting key areas while using the uniquely powerful new glow Pikmin. And each of the major areas all being in the garden of just somebody's house that you THEN get to go inside in what is by far the most unique level in a Pikmin game is some serious chef’s kiss type beat.

So that’s all well and good for the base game. But the post game? The post game? This is what takes Pikmin 4 to legendary heights. I CAN’T EVEN WRITE HERE everything I want to say because I KNOW YOU HAVEN’T PLAYED THIS GAME, and it was so joyous when I had these experiences blind. What I will say is this - this idea of Dandori and your understanding of it will be tested in some of the late game Dandori challenges. Entirely optional content by the way, nothing needed if you aren’t fucking with the idea of being an ancient Dandori master or anything. But this is the type of thing I live for in games. Mechanics and design being stretched to their limit, pushing your boundaries and forcing you to execute nearly perfectly to get the win. Usually uber-hard platformers are all that get this type of reaction out of me. Maybe I should be a strategy gamer? Am I finally ascending to be the Total War XCom Starcraft freakazoid I was always meant to be?

Maybe it was the surprise in how much I was enjoying Pikmin 4 for my entire 40 hour playthrough that gets it this high on the list. A marriage of gorgeous presentation, compelling mechanics, and content out the ass that no other game this year quite reached for me. DLC for this game is a must buy. Honestly, I might just play this game again some time soon, I need to make sure my feelings about it aren’t a fluke. 

And most importantly, YOU (yes, YOU, not the general ""you"") need to play this game. I DO NOT CARE if you have a Switch. DOWNLOAD THIS GAME FROM NSW2U.COM AND DOWNLOAD THE YUZU EMULATOR AND SEARCH ON GOOGLE “Nintendo Switch Keys Download” TO PLAY THIS GAME FOR FREE ON YOUR COMPUTER. Maybe you won’t even love it but DAMN IT I do. I’m glad Pikmin got another chance and for that chance to be the most feature-packed and gloriously executed game in the series by far. Hope this isn’t the end for our Pick-ed Men… Hope they don’t throw my colorful men in IP jail for 10 years again… Hope I can say hi to my good friend Olli mare one more time before I’m old and gray………

Thats it ok bye

#game of the year #pikmin 4 #essay #top 10 #pizza tower #i outdid last year by 2000 words!

[citytrialost]

random game superlatives for 2023

I just wanted a space to talk about the games that were special to me. I'll be updating it now and then, and even when finished will not be removing my Geocities Under Construction gifs.

game of the year - Pizza Tower, and it's not even close. I can't believe we got just a blisteringly fast platformer with this level of animation and such an incredible soundtrack. It is one of the best handling platformers I've ever played and it just lends itself to wanting to master the gameplay like nothing else.

mod of the year - Archipelago! Archipelago hosts cross-game randomizers for you and your friends. Want to play Pokemon Emerald while your friend plays Kingdom Hearts 2? Great! Instead of a gym badge, Norman gives Donald the ability to shoot lightning out of his ass (I don't play KH2) while your Surf HM is in some random treasure chest in their game. It really is incredible being able to play your favorite single player games with the goal of helping your friends progress. The game list is still growing, too, so definitely worth keeping tabs on.

weird game that heals my soul in the way that only something like Katamari could manage of the year - HUMANITY. Not a surprise coming from the devs of Tetris Effect, HUMANITY is just a fun, surreal experience where you play a shiba that tries to guide a crowd of people that at best behave like liquid and have a propensity for running off cliffs. I haven't finished the game yet, but it's been a beautiful experience that I've been saving for whenever life gets too stressful.

genre twist of the year - Your Only Move is Hustle (FKA YOMI Hustle). A turn-based fighting game experience that emulates fighting games so well I still panic at the exact same spots in the neutral whether it is YOMI or a traditional fighter. It's a time consuming and stressful experience, but still very rewarding when you have a good friend to play with. Also a decent Discord scene from what I hear. Also fuck it, YOMI gets fighting game of the year.

Spiritfall gets honorable mention here as a platform fighter roguelike. Honestly feels like a decent blend of floaty platform fighting and Hades. A lot of fun, and the dev team have been both openly communicating and updating the game frequently.

best character of the year - AKI (Street Fighter 6). Fighting games have such little room to add personality, but Capcom stepped their game up with SF6. AKI is just as weird and quirky as FANG (SFV), but a lot more sadistic. The added quirk of idolizing FANG goes a long way to giving her some fun flavor. I'm already biased towards characters with a poison archetype, but AKI is just fun in a "this character is delusional beyond saving" sort of way.

best game released from early access of the year - 30XX. It is a great roguelike that builds on 20XX in just about every way possible. It's improved graphically, in terms of gameplay, challenge, overall design. If 20XX asks "what if Mega Man was a roguelike?" then 30XX confidently tells you "Mega Man works as a roguelike." Fun solo, way better with co-op.

best 7/10 of the year - Exoprimal. Saw this concept trending and I think it's a great way to highlight an overlooked title this year. Among huge Capcom news like SF6 and a newly announced Monster Hunter, "what if Dino Crisis but it's a co-op hero shooter with muddled PvPvE and PvP modes" really doesn't stand out. Maybe it would have as a budget title, given how much it popped off on Game Pass. Regardless, the game was a lot of fun. I finished it's campaign, did a few of the challenge maps, found characters and archetypes I liked, and even had the familiar/classic TF2 "our team has four snipers, would somebody like to play a different class" conundrum. I'm glad I spent as much time on it as I did, and I hope I feel motivated to give it another run while it's still active.

best return to form - Armored Core VI. I honestly never thought we'd get another one of these. Waited a decade, and after the runaway success of the Souls series I never thought I'd get a new one. Some things have changed, but from the first mission I felt like I was a kid with a PS2 playing Silent Line all over again. Honestly got emotional from the nostalgia. Still need to finish the game, but I waited eleven years to play it so the game can wait a few months for me to get through it.

game that refuses to die award - Grim Dawn. Normally this game has a fixed statue of Terraria in its place, but after a huge community patch and the reveal of an entire expansion one or two years after claiming the game was dead, Crate Entertainment have given a seven year old game something new to look forward to.

Runner up goes to Killer Instinct. So happy for the sickos in the community that wouldn't let it stay dead, and even a balance patch is more than I expected. Had so much fun getting to see it at Evo. Fuck Rash lmao

#year end #game of the year #indie games #pizza tower #yomi hustle #humanity game #aki street fighter #archipelago mod #spiritfall #early access #30XX #exoprimal #armored core 6 #grim dawn #killer instinct

[thetaoofbetty]

Do you truly think Bughead stands a chance at getting endgame? I’ve tried to hold out hope these last two seasons. I thought once upon a time that eventually the payoff would be worth it, but the nonsense just goes on and on. I feel like BH’s get kicked in the teeth every episode and are punished for their years of devotion. And it’s not even like BA and JT are written well or have anywhere near the level of BH’s chemistry, but sometimes it feels like we’re stuck with them because RAS has disdain for his audience and is fixated on the “new” above honoring these characters and giving the show the ending it deserves. I’m sorry for being so negative. I just feel so stupid for continuing to invest anything in this show. I don’t want to discover a year from now that my time has been wasted and that the show is still trying to convince us that Betty and Jughead belong with other people and can’t even be assed to let them discuss anything not plot point related.

i've been avoiding these asks for a while because i don't want to come off like i'm telling anyone how to feel but since i keep getting asked i guess i'll try and give my honest opinion but hopefully without offending or upsetting anyone (jinxed by even saying it, i know).

bughead is not the first ship to get kicked in the teeth. they're not even the first ship to break up and have the writers ignore the fact that they dated for a good portion of time. they are not the first ship to date other people and totally act like they never dated until it's time to ramp up any drama. they are not the first ship to date, break up, date others, and then tell that new person that they love them.

and every ship i am thinking of for the above? they ended up together in the end. so yeah, i think it's possible. stories aren't told in a vacuum and shows that go on for 22 episodes or more need to drag out their narratives. these are not 8 episode netflix or hbo max shows that have limited time for their stories, they are filling a lot more air time. they have and will drag things out if they're trying to get to a certain point. yes, riverdale does this worse than others. 100%. 1000% even.

maybe it's a product of us all bingeing and watching shows with 8-10 eps a season but recently i was rewatching gilmore girls with my exchange student and i legit kept leaving the room because i felt like it was dragging on even tho i watched it when it was on week to week and was invested. there were a lot of episodes that just felt like they did nothing past fill some time. which is probably what they were doing when you need to make 22 of them in a season.

and listen, i'm not the biggest fan of anyone writing this show overall (how no one seems to know what anyone else is doing is just such a bad way to write?) but i don't think roberto actually has a disdain for the audience. ted? sure. we don't appreciate his genius and therefore suck. his arrogance is well known. evan? he wants attention. he got it. it was a dumb move. raise your hand if you're a bughead fic author who has written more interaction between betty and archie in your fics than this man (their king!) has written onscreen.

this show is badly run, written, and promoted. that's pretty obvious at this point. not a lot of people are watching, not a lot of people care anymore and i totally get why. i'm not going to tell you to continue being invested in something making you unhappy, your fictional escapes should bring you joy so taking a break when needed is always a good idea.

personally, if they're going to drag out this whole timelines mess, i don't think everything that happened will be ignored, it's just a continuation—and i'm not going to assume anything about the 50s thing, we don't even know how long it's going to last or what will happen within it. but we haven't even seen the finale yet and at the end of the day, i feel like they didn't have tabitha tell veronica it was 50/50 for the fun of it. but that's me and i think everyone should do what works for them when it comes to this show and fandom.

#besos! #anonymous #riverdale spoilers #rd negativity #anti b*rchie #anti j*bitha #for the mentions in the ask #basically i've seen ships treated pretty bad and come back from it is what i'm saying #tho this show is terribly written overall #long post

[ofallthingsnasty]

Your last answer to another anon dropped so much lore!!!! im so invested in your ocs and reader characters(along with how you write Micah haha) its not even funny lol And it honestly made me sit down and try to figure out which of the reader characters( along with their kids) in 'capture kill' and 'through the briar' have it the worst💀 So I thought I would post my findings lmaoo

Bill Pros: Reader is actually allowed to go outside by themselves😱

Can yell at Bill and vent frustrations😂

Have a super sweet mother in law that will help you out as much as she can

Bill actually financially provides for you and your kids

Probably live in a pretty nice house

Cons: Can go outside but not without Bill making sure you smell like him, jealous old man smh -_- so lets hope you can walk afterwords💀

Deadbeat dad that is barely involved with the house work and raising the kids

Will not stop smoking near your kids

Reader is probably never allowed to say no when Bill wants some ass cause he sees her as property🥲

Poisons your sons with a bunch of toxic masculinity bleh

So I would give an 8/10 on how much it would suck to be married to Bill, would still choose him over Evan any day tho ( Evan is scarier in my opinion😭)

Evan Pros: Evan is an actually an involved father

Does love his son and raises him semi-well

Probably also live in a nice house( if you are even allowed out of the basement to see the rest of it)

Is pretty loving to the reader( unbearably so ugh)

Will help out with housework and keeping everything in order

Cons: Reader is never allowed to touch grass ever again

Will lose 'privileges' if she acts out 😬

Your son probably thinks its totally normal that mommy is kept in the basement, and is probably being taught that kidnapping your future partner is completely fine👌

I give an 9/10 on how much it would suck to be married to Evan, honestly being stuck with him sounds awful🥲 You are forever trapped and if you act out, you get punished, badly.

Micah Pros: He leaves reader in peace for extended periods of time so she doesn't have to deal with his bull that often

Reader can better protect her kids(especially her son or sons ugh imagine two or three mini Micahs running around🫠) from Micah's influence since he's gone for a lot of the time

If we are going with the canon, then reader only has to deal with Micah for a couple more years🙃

Cons: Reader and her kids are struggling financially cause Micah probably only gives her 10 bucks and a box of crackers to tie them over for the next month smh

Don't think he ever actually officially marries reader, he probably just pulled the good old 'you're mine now no take backs' move on reader lol

Micah doesn't really have much, if any form of affection for you(definitely doesn't love you💀 he cares more about his guns than you lmao) So don't expect him to treat the reader well just because she's the mother of his children.

Micah will be one of those mfs that demand his husband 'privileges' from you whenever he comes back home ugh

Probably live in the middle of nowhere in some run down cabin that Micah 'removed' the previous occupants from😶

Will poison your son or sons with toxic masculinity and with generally awful life lessons yikes

I give a 10/10 on how much it would suck to be married to Micah. Being stuck with this blonde bastard sounds like hell omg, please shoot him now John lol😭

After thorough research (lmao) In my opinion its a close match of who has it the worst between the reader that is stuck with Evan and the reader from 'through the briar'. So yeah I would choose Bill if I really had no other choice😓 But if you read this ridiculously long list hahaha, who do you think has it the worst?

Holy shit, anon... You SAT DOWN and ANALYZED who has it the worst between these two fics? I am actually speechless, this is such an honor omfg.

(Also lmao you're so funny "If we are going with the canon, then reader only has to deal with Micah for a couple more years🙃" and "Micah probably only gives her 10 bucks and a box of crackers to tie them over for the next month smh" I am cackling)

I think you're spot on, actually. Evan is really easy to underestimate but he's genuinely... not well when it comes to you. I think I mentioned it somewhere in an answer to an ask ages ago, but he actually has no issue with seriously hurting you for what he perceives to be "the greater good". That includes either taking a limb or shattering (and not properly mending) bone. Yes, he'll probably cry while he does it, will swear up and down that he hates doing this (and he does, he does) - but he has to do this. He's not the fun type of yandere. His little thing for you is kinda cute on the surface - until he has his first panic attack over you not answering your phone. (That is, if you two started dating 'the normal way'. Hah.) Personally, I think Micah is the worst out of the three, as well - simply because he has no issue with immediately resorting to violence. (And not with misguided motives like Evan, either.) Once he has you in a remote place and something isn't the way he wants it, I can actually see him getting physically abusive. We saw how he had no issue with shooting Maddy in Strawberry although she (probably) had hardly anything to do with that "unfinished business". I think running with Dutch kept him in check, reined him in. (He had to adhere to the rules of the gang, at least a little bit.) Another clue is Amos' letter to him - Amos being so scared for his family, his daughters, makes me think that Mister Bell is actually way worse than we've seen in the game. He already doesn't love you. You have your uses, yes, you're his - but fucking hell, you're a lot of fucking work, too. He has to keep you fed along with his brats and you're not even a pretty face to look at (to him. Now if we asked Arthur, that man would have married you immediately. But, as you know. Micah happened.) And maybe, that's the crux of this whole thing. There is no love here - there is with Evan and Bill. With them, if you were to completely give up one day, you'd have a (very controlled but) decent life, as far as the circumstances go. With Micah? Oh, you can try and try and try again, it will never be enough.

#ask #anon #anon you don't know how touched i am fr fr #just thank you again 😭💕 #you wrote these long asks and i know they're a lot of work and i am just. very touched. thank you for giving me a piece of your brain #through the briar #capture kill #OC: Bill #OC: Evan

[danielleitloudernow]

This came up on my FYP feed and I thought it would be super fun to do in honor of NaNoWriMo.

20 Questions

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 30: 2 series, 5 WIPs, and a whole bunch of one shots 😁

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

134,500. Not sure how I hit an even number, but that's fun!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Korrasami (The Legend of Korra) and JEmily (Criminal Minds), but I have written for WarriorBard (Xena Warrior Princess), Ramvers (Captain Marvel), and Pricefield (Life is Strange). I'm working on originals, too, but that's neither here nor there.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Fuck Was I

The Consequences of Jello

Profiles and Princesses

Measure the Coefficient of Static Friction Between Us

The Violets in the Mountains Have Broken Rocks

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. I always respond to comments. It's so fun interacting with readers, and often, other writers. I've made a few friends from it and it's been so great. I have been known to drop off the face of the earth so I don't answer for a long ass time, but j always answer. Plus, I think it's a great way to show appreciation for those taking the time to interact. I love those emails telling me a fic has a comment. I poured so much of myself and my time into something and someone took the time to say something about it! It's pure magic.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think my fics are all HEAs, honestly. But there's a healthy dosing of angst throughout a lot of them.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably any of them, but Fuck Was I if I had to choose.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I did and I have. A fellow writer once called it "flaming troll shit" and since I changed my perspective to see it that way, I A) am considerably less bothered, and B) haven't really noticed it since.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do write smut. I write the type of smut I want to read and it's always evolving. I don't really do like, BDSM (love to read it, don't have much urge to write it, though), but I'll throw in some kink once in a while. Really, I guess I just like to write real sex. The emotions, the connection, the want.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Honestly, no. It's never really been something on my radar. It feels like a lot to keep track of or to meld and that's just a lot. Kudos to those who can and do, though.

11. Have you ever had a fiction stolen?

I really hope not. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but plagiarism is illegal, kids.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not. I have a beta reader (shout out to ireallyshouldnt_behere) who tells me if I'm an idiot or gives me suggestions, but we haven't moved into the realm of actual co-author (yet). We have joked about it before, and I would love to try a co-writing fic with someone.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Honest to God, JEmily. I had this theory when Criminal Minds first started back in the day that Emily and JJ got a little too drunk one night and clothes came off, that it turned into a thing. And then Will came along and Emily had to go and break her own damn heart because she didn't think she was good enough or JJ would be in danger being with her. Which is funny, given the Lauren arc, but I digress. But also, Xena and Gabrielle, always, because I grew up on XWP and those two were so obviously in love.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A novel I started writing 12 years ago 🤣 I love the concept and the characters and what I want to do with it, where I expect it to go. But holy fuck, it's been tedious. I have like...40k words of just bullshit that's not even really connected.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotions. Sometimes tension. Angst. Smut.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. And moving from point A to point B. Sometimes grammar (and that annoys me most of all).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done it, but let's be honest, it's Google translated because I'm American and for some reason we think English is the only language...

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Legend of Korra. I had read something that just made my head hurt and I thought "I can write better than that!" Spoiler alert, that's a really shitty reason to write something and no, you can't always 'write something better.' Plus, everyone is different: voice, styles, confidence, all that. Anyway, I cranked out a random idea (Living on a Spare) I thought was funny, and here we are.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Oh, why do you make me choose? That's a really good question. I think Chaos Theory (at least at the moment). I just found a bunch of bad pick-up lines and turned them into something ridiculous.

Just for funsies, I'mma tag @thewillowtree3 @blackbird-brewster @cargopantsprentiss @ahhhsami and hope you guys do it but really it's up to you! Cheers, yo!

#ao3 #ao3 fic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #writing #writer #fanfic #fanfic writer #fanfic writing #nanowrimo #for fun #wlw fanfic #wlw love #wlw #lesbian #lgbtqia

[nientedal]

for the fic writers ask meme, i’m rather curious about 9 & 10; which of your fics did you find the easiest and hardest to write?

From this ask meme!

Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Each fic has its own challenges, but right now, it's probably a tie between Swansong and the Cold Fusion series. And for similar reasons! Both have complex plots - Swansong's is primarily emotional, with Megamind processing complex grief and a broken (and then new) mental link, and Roxanne processing having a roommate going through emotional turmoil, plus some mental stuff of her own...and then Metro Man's whole thing, and holy shit maybe there's still a chance, and mixing hope into the grief mix is just a fucking nightmare for everyone involved, and djf;aldjfa;ldjadflj;afjdj it's a mess. And because it's written in third person limited, rather than omniscient, there's only so much that I can tell readers directly. Which, in a story with so much happening internally, was...extremely frustrating, at times!

Cold Fusion's complexity is more events-based, but in that one I am having to balance the fact that there ARE external plotlines happening against the fact that...the primary focus of those fics is on the characters and their development. Also, for a LONG LONG TIME, I did not actually KNOW what the plot was, I was just sort of winging it, and now I DO know, and it's a lot bigger than I expected it to be? Which I think some people may not like. And on one hand, fuck 'em, I'm writing for me, but on the other hand, I do write fanfiction with my end goal being to share it with people, so my readers' enjoyment is absolutely a thing I have in mind, I'm not JUST writing for me. So, aaaaaaaaaaaa.

I am now also having to grapple with the fact that when I started writing Cold Fusion, many of my headcanons were different from what they are now. I was originally very set on it being canon-compliant, on ONLY working with things we knew from the source material and not doing my own worldbuilding more than was absolutely necessary. And then I fell into a depression hole for like 3 or 4 years and could barely force myself to write at all, and when I finally came blasting out of that hole on the Wellbutrin-fueled jet pack I titled Dive, the amount I cared about "canon compliant" had plummeted to pretty much zero. Writing Swansong helped with that, I think -- I had basically been writing nothing but Cold Fusion for AGES, and then Ramendobe slapped me in the face with that prompt, and I discovered that writing universe alterations was a lot of fun! And then Dive punted my desire to stay canon-compliant into the sun. So now, rewriting Cold Fusion as I post it to AO3, I am working with characters who are different from the way I now write them in other fics. I'm bringing some of my newer headcanons into that universe for shits and giggles, but still. It's an odd feeling.

Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Another tie! Because I cannot make decision.

By Chance, which I wrote because my buddy ElfKid dropped a prompt into my askbox when I was like, "holy shit the ADHD is BAD tonight and I wanna see if I can write a one-shot in one evening," I think...? aahahaha actually no I just went and looked it up, and I had tagged my 'weh ADHD sucks' post with #hey if anyone is reading this send me a writing prompt and let's see wtf happens when i can't motherfuckin think lmaoooo and...I basically sat down, put the best of black sabbath on loop, and waited to see what fell out of my hands. And it was that. (Here's the original tumblr edition.)

and everything emptying into white was originally just some tags I had put on an ask from another friend of mine about Megamind purring, and I couldn't stop thinking about them and that day at work just SUCKED ASS and so I copied and pasted them into an AO3 draft on my phone at work and churned that out over the course of my lunch break. And then added a bunch to it during the next couple days.

(and I gotta give an honorable mention to Dive. I basically churned that thing out in less than a week of HOLY SHIT I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING IN YEARS AND MY BRAIN JUST WOKE UP AND REMEMBERED HOW TO ENJOY THINGS adrenaline, it was great. It wasn't as easy to write as the other two, simply because it wasn't as short & sweet, but it was easy and I owe that fic a lot. So.)

#askbasket #anonymous #nonny mouse #dal is a fanfic #megamind #actually now that i'm thinking about it i think kbjones ALSO sent me a prompt that night that i meant to follow up on #WHOOPS #time to scroll ye olde aske boxe #(fun fact: like 90% of my best work has come from prompts from other people) #(i don't write all the prompts i receive but you never know)