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holylulusworld · 4 months

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Unwanted mate (2) - Steve's version

Summary: Rejected. Humiliated. Left outside alone.

Pairing: Alpha!Steve Rogers x Omega!(fem) Reader

Warnings: angst, a/b/o, rejection, unrequited feelings, hurt reader, attack, violence, blood, angry reader, arguments

A/N: This is Steve’s version of this story Unwanted Mate (Bucky’s version)

Catch up here: Unwanted Mate

After your encounter with Steve, and his promise you had no other choice but to leave your shelter and the pack. Fury promised to protect you at all costs, but you already caused so much trouble that you didn’t want them to fight in your name.

Broken, and scared you left your old life and tried to start a new life, somewhere else. No one knows your name, or where you are from. You work at a coffee shop and try not to draw too much attention to you.

Scent blockers and suppressants get you through the day and hide your true nature. Everyone in your new life believes you are a beta. It’s better this way. Omegas are still rare, and sacred. This doesn’t mean every omega gets treated the way they serve.

Even though, your nights are still the worst. You dream of Steve, and the day he rejected you over and over again.

Sometimes you ask yourself if the last encounter with Steve was a fever dream. It feels unreal that the man rejecting you in front of two packs suddenly changed his mind.

You shake your head and look at the next customer. He’s one of these busy bees, waiting for his caffeine to kick in. You know his face. One of the few you didn’t forget immediately.

“The usual?” you ask, drawing his attention toward you, not the phone in his hands. He quirks a brow and huffs. Of course, he doesn’t remember your face. He’s an ant in a bigger system, and you don’t belong to the system.

“Coffee, black,” he hisses in your direction. You don’t know what you did wrong today. Usually he’s nicer to you, and your colleagues. “Hurry up and stop wasting my time. I must stick to a schedule.”

“Coffee, black,” repeating his order you drop your eyes. “Coming up!” You twirl around to get his order.

He’s just another alpha believing he’s above a beta. If only he knew you’re an omega in disguise. That arrogant bastard would kneel in front of you to get your attention and fulfill your every wish.

Your walk home is short. The small apartment you rented under a fake name isn’t far away from the coffee shop.

On your way, you grabbed your favorite food, and more groceries to make it through the weekend. You don’t like leaving your apartment for more than work and grocery runs. Always afraid someone will discover your true nature or that Steve will find you.

Sighing deeply, you try to ignore the man from earlier standing on the sidewalk, barking at someone on the phone.

You try to pass him by and wrinkle your nose as he snarls in the phone, calling the other person a worthless beta.

“Another worthless one,” you feel a hand on your back, and then someone pushes you. Your groceries drop to the ground, and you follow them. A cry pulls from your throat when your knees hit the cold concrete. “That’s for believing you know how I like my coffee.”

While you struggle to get back up and mourn your lost dinner at the same time, the man laughs at you. He taunts you and kicks your groceries with his polished shoes.

“You will pay for this,” you snarl, and slowly get up from the ground. Your knees bleed, and your left wrist hurts like hell, but this doesn’t keep you from using all the strength that’s left to punch his nose.

He squeaks ungracefully and immediately presses his hand to his bleeding nose. “You broke my fucking nose,” he whines as you grab the bottle of wine you dropped to hit him in the groin.

“Yeah, and no one will punish me for it,” you say as you drop the bottle to the ground. You open your bag and get a wet wipe out to remove your scent blocker.

“You think you’ll get away with hurting an alpha?” He growls. “They will arrest you. No one cares about a stupid beta.”

“Bad news for you,” you step closer to let your scent wash over him. “You just attacked an omega in public. Do you remember the law?”

He blanches and steps away from you. “No…no! I didn’t know!”

“Sir, I must ask you to step away from the woman.” An officer aims his gun at your attacker. “You are arrested for attacking an omega.”

“I told you,” you mouth at the growling man. “Officer,” you fake a sob. “I’m so glad you came. He pushed me and threatened to hurt me. I…I punched his nose to keep him from hurting me even more.”

“Home sweet home,” you sigh as you drop on your couch after another day at the coffee shop. It was a less busy day, and you’re grateful for the silence at your apartment.

After the incident with the aggressive alpha, everyone knows that you are an omega. At least your forged papers protected you from getting found.

“A very nice home you made for yourself.” You freeze and a whimper escapes your lips.

His scent fills the living room, and you stiffen as he steps out of the shadows and switches the light on.

“How did you find me?” You look at Steve, eyes widen in fear. “How did you get inside my home? What do you want here?”

“Doll,” he sighs as you move to the other side of the couch the moment he gets closer to you. “I won’t harm you.” Steve shakes his head. “You caused a lot of trouble when you left. Fury lost his position, and the rest of your pack is looking for you.”

“Fury lost his position?” You ask. “This doesn’t make sense. Why would my pack abandon their leader? I’m no one special.”

“He refused to let me redo the ritual. Fury said that I lost my chance to claim you. I-I lost control of my alpha and threatened to break the peace between our packs.” He drops his gaze, ashamed of his doings. “I didn’t mean it, doll. You have to believe me. But, if you don’t come back, they will ban Fury and your parents.”

“How dare you, Steven Grant Rogers!“ You jump off the couch to jab your index finger into Steve’s chest. “You humiliated me without a reason. I stood in front of you, vulnerable and naked. I never felt so broken before.”

Steve tries to say something, but you shake your head. “No, Rogers. You won’t have a say in this any longer. We have rules for a reason. I was there, ready to become your omega and to submit to you completely. In. Any. Way.”

“Doll,” he tries to calm you, but you won’t have it. You slap his hand away when he reaches out for you to touch your cheek.

“You don’t even remember my name!” You snap at him. “Stop calling me doll! I’m not a pet, or your lover. You’ll never be anything to me but the alpha rejecting me.”

You wipe your wet eyes and take a deep breath. “Get out of my apartment!”

“I cannot leave without you,” he whispers. “If I go, your pack would come for you and force you to come back. I try to protect you.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” you snarl and bare your teeth at Steve. “You rejected me and tried to pressure Fury into handing me over to you like a piece of meat. Who do you think you are?”

“I know you hate me now,” he says, “but I’m the only one standing between you and your pack. If the order doesn’t get restored, your pack will lose control sooner rather than later. They need Fury as their leader. So, I’m begging you to come with me.”

“No,” you confidentially say. “If you want to prove that you are here to protect me, and help Fury, you’ll stay here with me.”

“D-Y/N,” he licks his lips. “We can’t…”

“We can and will,” you growl. “And I will call Fury. I don’t trust anyone but him…”

Part 3

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #alpha!steve rogers #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #alpha!steve rogers x omega!reader #a/b/o

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imfrom-neptune · 3 months

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Rambly brain dump

I’m probably venting actually idk

Maybe don’t read this I just need to put it somewhere

I don’t think I realized that all the shit that happened just genuinely wasn’t as funny as I thought it was

Like it was happening and I was like “lmao my dad broke in a window tryna get into my house”. But let’s be real. My dad broke in a window tryna get into my house. What?? That happened to me? I was supposed to go to a concert that night. I missed it because I was helping to clean up glass and keep my siblings entertained. My dad broke a window.

I freak out when cars pass by my window and get nervous when people knock in the door cause it reminds me of the night my dad had cops shine lights through our windows at 4am trying to see if we were home. And the stupidest thing is no, my mom wasn’t home. I was alone and I had to be brave and deal with that by myself. Because she stayed out with her boyfriend and was too much of a coward to come back and keep me safe.

I stayed up until 5am packing up and moving and leaving my entire life behind. I live in a little house with a tiny pull out bed and a toy box as a bedside table. I packed my shit up while my mom was throwing away my things and yelling at me for not being able to carry things that were too heavy. I still packed my things and I still ended up in this sad little house and I still left my safe place and I can’t ever go back. That home belongs to someone else. That place isn’t mine anymore.

And this doesn’t even only apply to things that happened during the divorce.

I had to have been like six at most, and my mom had my mouth tapped shut while I cried in a corner.

I’ve been locked out on my front porch at least three times. I was maybe 12.

My mom has been throwing out my things for years. It started with toys when I “misbehaved”, and now it’s things that actually matter to me. She broke into my fucking locker thing just to get into my personal stuff and throw it all away. And then she had the nerve to deny it. She threw away my art because she didn’t like it. She took away the apps I needed to make YouTube videos because she didn’t like them. Everything I’ve ever told her I liked, she’s always found a way to ruin.

When my parents found out I was queer they yelled at me about it for hours. Punished me for it. Told me I could tell anyone I wanted but no one would ever believe me. And y’know what? I told my Opa and he believed me. They’re probably half the reason I was so scared to tell him. But guess fucking what? They were wrong. And now they want me to believe they’re soooo supportive? Fuck that.

In 7th grade I was (for lack of a nicer way to say it-) very suicidal and I struggled slightly with hurting myself. Ofc I didn’t hurt myself in a way that mattered, I don’t even have scars anymore, but regardless. They found out about this, and punished me for that too. I literally wanted to be dead, thought I deserved it, and they grounded me for it. Didn’t help me at all. Just made me feel worse about it. I got myself clean and I made myself want to be alive again. They didn’t do anything for me.

I’ve been hit for things I shouldn’t have been. Sometimes I made the mistake of fighting back. I haven’t been hit since the divorce, cause y’know, they want me to like them. But I used to be hit all the time and I’m now realizing how scary that really is.

I’ve been threatened to have cops called on me. I’ve been threatened to be abandoned. I’ve been threatened to be killed.

I’ve been told straight up that my mother regrets me. Which is the funniest (or, maybe not funniest?) thing because I was literally unplanned. Though my mom refuses to admit it, I did the math, and my dad told me. We all know.

And I guess I just find it easier to play it like a joke. But it’s sorta hit me over the past two weeks that it actually affected me and I actually have problems because of it. It’s not funny. I may have had a childhood full of toys but I also had yelling outside my door at late night hours.

And I just played it as a joke because I didn’t know what else to do. Now it’s too late to be upset about it. It’s all happened and now I’ve gotta grow up and pretend it didn’t. I didn’t get the good parents. And I can’t do anything about it.

and it’s so scary cause if they can fake 20 years of love, what does that say about me? I’m both of them in one. I’m every bad thing they’ve done, put together. I’m a result of those mistakes. Am I designed to be as bad as they are? Cause I desperately want to be nothing like them.

I wish none of this ever happened to me. I remember too much and at the same find half of my memory is blank. I don’t know why I deserved this, and it makes it so hard to believe I didn’t. Why would such bad things happen to me if I didn’t deserve it? I did it all by myself for what reason?

#vent post #tw suicide mention #tw sh mention #shitty parents

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phinix53 · 10 months

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XD cool just a few more questions before I get to the fun bits gonna have ta number these as there's gonna be a lot

Ok so Mutt can understand and communicate to feral!dream thanks to his native language- his magic allows him to communicate with none animals- while remi eats emotions - feeds and the victim(s) can't have that emotion for the rest of the day - each emotion has a different taste now on to the questions

1. What would nightmare do if he sees mutt communicate to feral!dream having an actual conversation but can't feel any emotion to it due to remi taking them?

2. - you can pick who it is - how would one of nightmares members react/do to seeing remi help mutt feed the pups a large buck?

3. - this like 30 years thanks to what ya said to the last question- mutt offers to help feral!dream take him to find his old pack while remi guards the pups of his pa k is still alive mutt would like to join if not he'll ask if he'll join his and offer to take him somewhere safer how would that go with feral!dream ?

4. - this big IF also gives me ideas what to do and draw and you pick who sees - if nightmare and/or recruits see remi and mutt caring for feral!dream and pups and see them picking them up to have them escape how would they react or do - this is IF feral!dream wants to leave and is willing to be picked up/taken-

5. What would feral!dream do/react to seeing mutt clean - lick or bath with water - the pups to get them clean and offers to do the same but tells feral!dream he won't touch his fur ?

Sorry for the long ask XD just needing more then one idea as I'll be drawing a lot and I fell in love with feral!dream and torture nightmare XD

Nightmare is not a fan. Not at all. He doesn’t even understand his brother, how come others can. His brother doesn’t need these distractions, this person must go.

If it were Horror and Cross they would be more lax about it, of course they are the ones that handle the food so they would prefer to be apart of the process but as long as it’s not doing any harm it’s ok. The others would be less than enthusiastic, especially Blue. He had them on regimen diets, so he’s not particularly happy when he find out someone is messing with his dogs (they originally belonged to Blue before Night took them).

Dream would jump at the chance to go back to his home and his pack. Hell he’d be happy being dumped in a random forest if it meet he wasn’t trapped inside a fake forest. He’d be more open to the idea of others joining his home pack than anything. As long as they all can get along and he has his freedom.

No good. Doesn’t matter who sees them, They will chase them. They will hunt them down, and they will kill. Nightmare has most of the multiverse under his control so there’s only a few spots where they could hide. As soon a Dream is taken out of the castle they all know (Dream has a small tracker on him after a few escapes).

Dream is used to the pups love of water but it’s not for him, he can’t stand the stuff. He’s not willing to let anyone clean him, he can do that on his own. The gang has to sedate him if they want to actually give him a bath, so he’s good. Honestly he feels worse with out the dirt in his bones than he feels when he’s clean.

Your perfectly fine I don’t mind at all ^^

I like doing ask, I just sometimes forget to answer them.

I’m glad that you and everyone else really do like him ^^

#undertale #feral au #feral dream #undertale au #ask

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wordborne · 11 months

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All for Us

Jerome Valeska finds someone new to torment.

That someone is, unfortunately, you.

TAGS: Jerome Valeska/Reader, alternate universe, unhealthy relationships, bad decisions, canon-typical violence, major character death, eventual smut, Jerome can only be classified as nuisance to lover.

CHAPTER: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8/ 8

FANART BY baicalpascal

Jerome was loud. Every time he came home, there was the snap of the door as he shut it. The jiggle of keys being tossed somewhere around the living room. The fridge opening and closing. His loud call of ‘honey, I’m home’ before he plopped on the bed next to you because, somehow, somewhere down the line, you’d woken up by his side and decided that’s what you wanted to do for the rest of your miserable days.

“Sometimes I wish you hated me,” He said, trailing his hand down your cheek and leaving it there, cupping your jaw. He didn’t kiss you. He didn’t try anything else, either. He just stared. You did the same, thumb caressing his cheek. He welcomed the touch with a grin. “Why’s that?” He shrugged. “Would make things easier.” “For you or for me?” “You.” “Since when do you care? “Touché.”

And, for that, you had to laugh before kissing him with the same ferocity he sometimes did, feeling his fingers flexing on instinct, the tenderness almost bruising now.

That’s the way Jerome loved. With imaginary bruises and pain. It was all he knew. All you ever wanted from him. And that little voice, the one that belonged in Arkham, basked in the feeling of his lips on yours. Told him you loved him, even if he stopped momentarily before kissing you harder.

“Of course you do.”

Of course.

How could you not?

It couldn’t be real.

But there it was, his name engraved in stone at last. The wind smelled almost sweet. And, in his chest, the pressure lessened the more he stared at the tombstone.

Jerome was finally dead.

He had to check for himself. To see the lone tombstone by a tree. It was almost poetic, seeing such a quiet resting place for someone like his brother.

Jeremiah wondered who’d made it so.

It was hard to recognize yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were rimmed red, the bags under them darker than ever. You’d cried until there was nothing but emptiness inside, and it still wasn’t enough. They took him away from you, said that little voice from Arkham, but you knew that, this time, it was spewing lies. He’d done it himself. You saw the footage. Him hanging on by a pipe. Detective Gordon’s hand reaching out to get him. And he’d let himself fall. He’d let himself fucking fall without even thinking about it and- A broken sob escaped your lips. Did he even think about you, in those brief moments before he let go? Was he selfless enough to think about anyone other than himself for one fucking second? Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he did. But it didn’t matter now. You’d heard rumors about a new tombstone and ventured out into the graveyard, finding it surrounded by some of Jerome’s groupies, smoking and drinking. And you weren’t thinking straight when you took the gun out of your pocket and aimed it directly at the first person you saw. “Leave. And take all that shit with you.” Venom spewed out of every word as they hurriedly picked up cigarette butts and empty beer bottles strewn around the grave, as if it was a place to party. Not to mourn. Just another landmark for them to hang out. Smiling. Laughing. It made your blood boil until every last one of them left, tail tucked between their legs, nervously looking at the gun and grumbling that you were no fun before you sat down in the grass beside Jerome. Here lies Jerome Valeska. Second time’s the charm! “Fucking asshole.” And the tears were rolling again as you decided to laid down, staring into the cloudy sky, hoping that rain would come and swallow you whole so the tears would finally feel like something other than sorrow. Little pinpricks of cold. A bucketful of ice-cold realization. Everything changed but nothing had changed at all. And that’s what hurt the most. Ruffled feet were heard. Quiet. Hesitant. Powerful. You raised your head and felt the image take your breath away.

He was there. Like a ghost. Skittish. Not scarred. Hair parted in a way you’ve never seen it before. He looked like the boy in the news, nose red, crying about his mother. But he was wearing glasses, and he avoided your eyes, frowning at the new tombstone as a woman stuck to his side. Impassive. Tense. Muscles taught just like the ones in your neck as you strained to look at them. He looked like Jerome. But he wasn’t. Wrong. Said the voice at the back of your head. And you agreed. He was wrong in a way you wanted to see more of. To see if you could catch a glimpse of Jerome in his eyes instead of the impeccable suit and tie. But you recognized him from those long nights where Jerome would let his mouth loose, talking about this and that. About his brother. Twin brother. “Fuck off, Jeremiah. You’re not welcome here.” And, with that, you were back to staring at the sky, still sprawled, seeing their presence on the corner of your eye. The woman took a step forward and tossed something on the ground. You didn’t even flinch until Jeremiah spoke up. “I don’t want it. Figured whoever was here would.” You didn’t look at it until they left. Fingers closing in on worm leather, customized by colorful stickers that spelled Jerome Valeska. You held it with reverence. Looking at the pictures. Speaking over failed and successful plans. Stopping when you saw a crude drawing of yourself, x’s for eyes. I should kill her. She’s fun, I guess. No, she’s stupid. She gave me a key. She’s mine. I’ll bury her with me like the Egyptians did with the cats.

She’ll never get over me. Isn’t that a punch in the gut?

Even in death he was a pain in the ass. But how could you not feel your heart being ripped apart the more you scanned the pages. Saw his shitty handwriting and little drawings of things you had at home. The black and white tiles. The static from the TV. The stock image in the picture frame you kept in the living room to make it seem livelier. He noticed. He noticed every single thing. Every imperfection. Every space even when he was away, forever recreated in those pages that you held close to your face as tears threatened to fall again. And he was right. You’d never get over him. Jerome Valeska wasn’t someone who you could get over. He wormed his way into your heart like a parasite, draining it for all it was worth. Blood. Pain. Tears. Life had to go on. But not for now. Tonight you’d stay there, clutching his diary and looking at his tombstone, just like you did on the rare moments he fell asleep before you. With peace, and kindness, and everything he wasn’t and you wished he never was. And maybe. Just maybe. That gray piece of concrete would say third time’s the charm one day.

#Gotham #Gotham TV #Jerome Valeska #Jerome #Jerome Valeska/Reader #Jerome/Reader #Fanfiction #my stuff

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megamindsupremacy · 1 year

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Misc Marvel Fic Recs (Part 4)

Somewhere between hello and goodbye by buries and ohstars

"I think…" The radio crackles as if he’s clearing his throat. "We don’t want you to be alone anymore."

Pressing her lips together, Wanda swallows thickly. She clears her throat, hoping to find the words she needs to try and dissuade him from following this line of thought. She knows where it leads. She thinks she’s been sensing him following that path since he’d tried to get her to pass the borders of her property and take a thin dirt road leading her to somewhere else. Somewhere beyond her missing them.

"I think you should go," Billy says quietly. "Tommy does, too. But I think you should go somewhere louder. It’s too quiet here, Mom."

"I’m fine, Billy," she says with a light laugh, the sound coming out hollow and fake.

The radio’s static sounds like he’s shaking his head. "No, Mom," he says gently, "you’re not."

Wanda remains quiet. She cannot go where he cannot follow.

"I’ll come with you," he says as if he'd read her mind. He laughs warmly, "Family is forever."

—

In the aftermath of Westview, Wanda struggles with the loss of her family. Billy takes it upon himself to try and help his mom move forward… even if that means she leaves him behind.

A slice of life by capstar98

A day in the life of Peter Parker as he navigates Central Park, takes down villains with dumb costumes, and eats hot dogs. And of course, how everything goes wrong along the way. Hopefully, he'll at least get some pie at the end.

Can we go back to the world we had (I don’t belong here) by good_bones

It’s been eleven days since the multiverse villains faded into sunlight nothingness. Eleven days since this universe forgot that Peter Parker ever existed. Eleven days since the Statue of Liberty. Eleven days since Peters 2 and 3 got stuck in this universe.

Peter just wants to go home. This isn’t home.

(Peters 2 and 3 get stuck in Peter 1’s universe when Strange sends everyone else back. Peter 2 has to navigate a grieving kid, an angry vigilante, and an unfamiliar universe that doesn’t remember them, all while trying to understand the Multiverse before it destroys him.)

In the years that follow by goldenhand9107

After Matt defeats Fisk (for the second time), life goes on.

With a couple of speed bumps along the way.

Our lives lead other lives by riko

"Those things Billy's learned to bundle up tightly, keep compact and hidden so far down that even he forgets they're there sometimes. The gay thing is one. The being bullied at school is another. Now the spellcasting, shooting lightning from his fingertips, and fighting evil are rounding out the roster."

Sam deserves better than these assholes by lazulisong and verity

The screen blipped and the person reappeared, now clutching a large Ragdoll cat who was purring even as the human muffled another scream in it's fur. "Omigod. Omigod. I'm calm. I'm calm. GUYS. So you remember how I said I hoped you'd send in reaction vids to the hairstyle tutorials? I think Captain America just sent me one, oh my fucking God." They squeezed the cat tightly enough that it let out a mildly protesting squeak. "OH GOD, Roadkill, I'm so sorry, Mommy's so excited right now." They let go of the cat and it sort of flowed into a puddle between them and the camera. "Okay. Okay. Roll video."

Sam paused the video long enough to break out the ginger ale and vodka.

A Star shaped hole in the multiverse by dandelioness666

“But then I think,” Wanda continues, softly. “She’s just a girl. A lost, lonely girl. What parent loves her? Who would I be hurting, by taking her power and her life?” She pauses. “Stephen. What do you think I’ve been doing all this time?”

“Well, for a moment there I thought you’d been chasing this poor girl across the multiverse like a homicidal maniac,” Stephen says.

“No. I have been researching,” she says, eyes steely. “I will find a way to bring back my boys with no commensurate loss. No more sacrifice. I am done cutting deals with the universe.”

What If… Multiverse of Madness actually wrote the characters of Wanda and America coherently?

An anger-fueled rewrite of the entire movie feat. an author who actually watched wandavision and wholesome family bonding and America being her comics-canon badass self

Out of time (and space) by toocleverfox

Tommy blinked, still stuck on the first thing Billy had suggested. “I followed exactly none of what you just said.” Billy sighed and ran a hand over his face. Slowly, as if someone like Tommy needed anything explained slowly, he said, “You, Tommy Shepherd, can warp time.”

When Tommy wakes up seven years in the past, the first person he goes to for help is Billy because, whenever something goes wrong, all signs usually point to his twin. Except, Billy is fourteen years old with no powers. And he doesn’t know who Tommy is.

And we’ll never be lonely anymore by traincat

"The world just looks different once you've settled down," Johnny said loftily.

"Johnny," Sue said. "You're FaceTiming me from your husband's aunt's kitchen in your pajamas at 2PM."

Dibs not by aloneintherain

Inspired by anon: 'AU where the airport fight ends in a minor debate over who has to take Peter home b/c he's literally too young to fly unaccompanied without fuckloads of paperwork.'

The Angel of Hell's Kitchen by violentlypan

Foggy Nelson only knows three things about his powers:

- He can fly.

- He's using them to help people. And most importantly:

- He can never, ever tell Matt.

#mads posts #fic recs #fic rec list #marvel fic recs #marvel fic rec list

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liminal-storage · 2 years

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Olfactory

Prompt 17: Novel

Characters: Okuni Tomioka, with mentions of several members of Priarch and beyond.

Warnings: None of note.

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Of all the changes that she's undergone in the last few moons, the power of her olfactory receptors is something she still hasn't fully gotten used to. Things she previously found pleasant now sometimes border on repulsive, whereas the scent of some of the things she'd hated now seem much more aromatic.

Above all, she can pick out individual scents now. That threw her off more than anything else at first, and the art of forcing herself into nose-blindness did not come easily. People, as a general rule, are horrified to learn that you can pick out their smell in a crowd, for better or worse. Not to mention, early on, such scents as they mingled were an incredibly distracting force. It took time and patience, along with expert advice from Lyrin'a, to learn how to filter out the greatest distractions: cooking, the sea air, the forest's ambient fragrance, abhorrent musks that ladies in the markets douse themselves in.

Now that she's mastered the skill more, however, she finds it a rather novel thing to sit in common gathering spots to see if she can guess who's been there most recently.

Lyrin'a's scent tends to hang somewhat subtly on the air; like delicate notes of fine tea leaves, the tiniest hint of bitterness. The smell of medicinal herbs overpowers a lot, but somewhere in there she can pick up on hints of wild berries and wildflowers and the faintest traces of whatever she'd cooked that day. Home. It makes perfect sense that he'd smell like it.

Teagan always brings the scent of baking with her. That much is a given. A strong aromatic bouquet of vanilla and flowers and oddly, birch syrup always permeates her senses around the living sunbeam. Her animals have their own smells that linger faintly on her clothing, along with the unmistakable tang of copper. Funny, how both of her chosen siblings smell like some form of wildflowers.

Latika'a bears the smoky-sweet aroma of burning herbs. Like Teagan, beasts leave their mark on him, particularly in his hair and on his shoulders. Like Lyrin'a, the sharp astringent of medicine attempts to overpower the rest. But you can't cut through the sharp scent of writers' ink, not when it stains your fingers so.

There is a rarely-appearing fragrance that she wouldn't be able to identify at all if not for how up close and personal she'd gotten with its owner; the scent of green wood and leather, barest hints of stone and death that belong to someone else. And a reminder of the audacious question asked of her so long ago now, a question that had led to most enjoyable trouble.

Others have scent-trails which only stick out when she searches for them. Atticus' aroma of grave dirt and, oddly enough, ginger. Laurent and his eternal essence of library and blood that she'd once thought from papercuts. Vardan's smell of machinery and levin and the faint traces of dust. The sea-salt odor which clings stubbornly to Enkai, so painfully nostalgic.

Some smells are harder to isolate, simply due to how they weave and intertwine with others.

With Talia and Idris, for example, she can pick out some individual notes. Talia carries the rich aroma of coffee and machine grease and gunpowder, but also the clean smell of rain. She's always had the scent of something wild about her, though less so these days. Idristan smells of old books and roses, brandy and wool coats. Many warm things, all tempered by the sharpness of cold like the air before snowfall.

Both of them bear the scent of something else, something much harder to quantify. Something heady and fruity and honeyed and narcotic. Night-blooming flowers and feather down, and it took her the longest time to realize that must be fae wine and something of Caedh.

Louvel often smells like fresh coffee too. He smells of liquor and paint thinner, fine oil paints and fresh blood. The intoxicating perfume of petrichor lingers upon him, mingling with something like stone and moss. Sometimes, when he calls upon the abyss, something like a cold-burning smoke chokes her nostrils.

Inwa carries a curious fragrance of fresh, sour apples and sun-warmed earth. His scent reminds her of a crackling hearth, smoky and rich. There are notes of clean silks and crisp springwater, old papers and over-steeped tea. She wonders if he's always smelled the way clouds do before lightning strikes.

Silvaineaux has both a presence and a scent that are impossible to miss. The unmistakable bite of well-kept metal envelops him as a second skin. Strong, clean metal polish has a trace which loves to cling to his sword and gauntlets. Were she unaware of his love for chocobos, their telltale odor would've clued her in. It lingers on the cloth beneath his armor here and there. Soap, sandalwood. Whiskey. Scents that Sui sometimes bears as well, along with hints of sweet citrus.

The most difficult scent to describe is Edarien's. He used to reek of wine and expensive polished leather, but these days the wine scent is weaker. She'd describe his personal bouquet as...loamy, perhaps? Like very cold water and very old stone. Something rich as blood, but strong and briny as dark water. And ancient, truly ancient copper coins, like treasures one would offer to gods of eld.

Instinct makes her wary, but curiosity has her scenting the air every time he passes. Perhaps one day she'll understand enough of it to name its individual components.

Priarch may as well be a perfume shop for all its aromas, and Okuni finds herself curious to know what trace she leaves as she passes through its halls.

#ffxivwrite2022 #my writing #Priarch #liminal-storage

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thesecretomoblog · 2 years

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Omo Questionnaire- Alex

Alex

general / casual (regular everyday peeing behavior lol)

What’s their preferred place to pee? (bathroom, outside, container…etc.)

Alex really doesn’t like to break rules, so he will always TRY to make it to an actual restroom before he pees. Peeing in the woods doesn’t bother him at all, though. And he’s fine with peeing into a container so long as it’s something that belongs to HIM.

2. Do they prefer to pee standing up or sitting / squatting? At home or in public?

He likes to stand. Sitting down makes him feel uncomfortable and dysphoric, he specifically doesn’t like the sound his stream makes if he sits. When he DOES sit to pee it’s usually because he’s too sleepy to turn the light on in the restroom, and he will leave his STP on and pee through it even while seated so that the sound is different.

3. Can they aim well (or at all)? Which hand do they use? Both? None?

He has really good aim. His first time using his STP he felt super proud of himself for not spilling a drop anywhere even though he’d felt so nervous, haha.

He uses two hands— One handed is trickier with an STP, because you need to use one to aim the shaft and the other to keep the cup pressed against you tightly.

4. Are they vocal or quiet? Do they get chatty if there are people around?

He can be pretty quiet about his need, he doesn’t like to inconvenience other people with it, and if everyone else is busy he’ll try to hold it in and wait for a better time to say what he needs to do.

He tries not to make too much noise while peeing, too. Moaning sounds perverse and embarrassing to him, but sometimes it feels so good to let go that he can’t help it!

5. Do they have any unusual bathroom habits? (whistling, leaning against the wall, pants all the way down when standing, looking at memes on their phone, etc.)

He ALWAYS gets massive piss-shivers whenever he goes, his body just shakes uncontrollably as he empties. He enjoys the feeling, but isn’t sure why it happens.

6. Do they take their time or do they try to get done as quickly as possible?

He likes to have long pees, he finds it relaxing. He’ll hurry up some if there’s a person waiting on him, but otherwise he’ll take his time and enjoy the feeling.

7. Are they pee-shy? Do they get embarrassed? If yes, in what situation and by what? (the sight? the noise? people knowing they have bodily functions?) In front of whom?

He doesn’t usually get pee-shy— It happens to him so rarely that he gets scared any time it DOES happen. Fear CAN keep him from peeing, but generally the fear comes from something other than another person being in the room with him.

8. Do they prefer to go in groups or do they want to be alone / need privacy.

He and his boyfriend Adam ALWAYS go the restroom together if they’re in public, they both feel much safer if they are beside one another in there. Without Adam, Alex feels so scared that he just holds it in rather than going alone. To help him with this, if Alex goes somewhere by himself and needs to pee, Adam says he can call him on the phone so he can FEEL like they’re together.

They pee together when they’re at home all the time, too. It started because they often ended up really needing to pee at the same time as one another and didn’t want to wait, but then it sort of became a bonding thing for them. They like sharing the toilet, haha.

9. If they use the men’s room, stall or urinal? Do they stick to the unwritten bathroom etiquette? (no talking, no looking over, leaving a urinal gap, etc.)

Urinal. He sort of thinks they’re fun to use, haha. A bit of a novelty to him. He mostly sticks to the ‘rules’, but he always pees in the spot directly next to Adam because he feels safer that way. He’ll only speak if they’re the only two people in there, though.

10. Do they refuse to use certain bathrooms? (too dirty, too crowded, wrong type of toilets?)

He feels scared in restrooms that are super crowded, and trough-urinals make him very, very uncomfortable because of the lack of dividers and how close he has to get to everyone else. If he goes into a restroom and sees a trough, he will opt for a stall instead. If a stall isn’t available, then he will hold it.

11. Have they ever peed in the pool (except as a baby)? On purpose or not?

Yes. Once at a waterpark he was too desperate to wait for the toilet and Adam had to convince him that he wouldn’t get in trouble for peeing in one of the pools instead.

12. Do they pee in the shower / bath and would they admit it if someone asked?

Yes, he always has. He doesn’t see a problem since the pipes are all the same. And, when he was a kid, his Dad put time-limits on how long a person was allowed in the restroom. So, if Alex had to shower AND pee he’d do both at once to meet the time limit.

If someone asked him, he’d probably just blush and go silent, refusing to answer.

13. Have they ever locked someone out of a bathroom / kept them from going?

No, he would consider that way too mean to do to someone.

14. Have they ever peed in the opposite gender bathroom? (if applicable)

Up until a certain point, he kind of HAD to do that. Before he knew he was trans/started presenting as a man, he would use the women’s room. In those days it was rare that he’d be out in public for long enough to need a bathroom though, so he hasn’t used a women’s room very many times.

15. Are they okay with or used to peeing outside? Do they do it often?

Yeah, he’s fine with it. Growing up, his house had a big forest just behind it and if he was in there and had to go, he’d use a bush. He got used to it early on.

desperation / wetting (yk, the actual omo stuff)

16. How do they say “I have to pee”? Are they blunt? Do they use weird euphemisms? Do they get offended if someone uses certain terms around them?

When he finally has to admit that he needs to go, he isn’t vague about it. He’ll say “I need the bathroom now!” or “I have to pee!” he isn’t embarrassed by that.

He’s okay with hearing more childish terms, too. Since he takes care of his younger siblings so often, he isn’t TOO humiliated if one of them asks him if he needs to ‘go potty’, so long as they don’t do it super loudly.

But, when he spends a lot of time around his siblings, sometimes young-sounding phrasing will slip out by mistake when he’s speaking to people his own age. Accidentally saying “I gotta go tinkle now!” to Adam DOES embarrass him a lot.

17. What are some “tells” that they have to go? Who can tell first if they don’t speak up?

Alex has long hair, and will sometimes run his hand through his ponytail when he needs to pee. His Mom actually picks up on his urgency faster than anyone else can— But, Adam is trying to get better at doing that too now since Alex has trouble speaking up so often.

18. If someone asks if they have to go and they do, do they admit or deny it? Do they play it down as much as they can or do they exaggerate on purpose?

He won’t deny it, sometimes he’ll try to pretend it isn’t as big of a deal as it really is, though. But, more often, once someone else knows that he needs to pee it becomes all he can talk about.

19. How do they act when they’re desperate? Do they get angry? Do they squirm a lot or do they freeze up? Do they get quieter or do they talk more than usual?

He’s quiet and shy to begin with, the embarrassment of needing to pee really badly adds to that. He shuts down until somebody else finally notices his problem, then he’ll speak more openly about it.

20. How do they act when someone else is desperate in their vicinity? Do they try to help them? Are they successful or do they accidentally make it worse?

Alex is an excellent care-giver, he’d be very kind to anyone he saw struggling to hold it. He’d try to find them a spot to go, or to distract them from the urge. Alex isn’t so good at speaking to people other than Adam though, and he will struggle with actually distracting the other person. It’s more likely he’ll say something that makes their need worse, or end up making HIMSELF need to go as well.

21. How do they like to be treated when they have to go? Do they want comfort / encouragement / coddling? Are they okay with light-hearted teasing or jokes?

He hates being teased when he has to pee. Alex is very sensitive and being made fun of will hurt his feelings badly. He will want hugs and assurances that he can make it.

22. The same as the three questions above but with accidents (bedwetting too).

Alex will ALWAYS cry if he has an accident. He will be devastated and ashamed of himself, and won’t be able to stop the tears.

If someone else had an accident near him, he would try to comfort them, take them somewhere to get cleaned up or at least offer them something to hide the wet spot.

Alex needs a LOT of cheering up after an accident. He will need to be held and hugged and told over and over that it’s okay, that it’s no big deal, and that no one is upset with him for what happened.

23. Do they get upset or embarrassed over an accident or do they shrug it off?

He absolutely CAN’T shrug it off. Wetting himself is a catastrophic event to Alex that never fails to result in tears.

24. What’s the last time they had a genuine full-on accident? How old were they?

He was twenty-one and stuck in a traffic jam. His bladder had no space left inside it, the traffic wasn’t budging at all, and his pee just came out…

25. Have they ever wet themself deliberately? Would they consider doing it?

No, never on purpose. But, he may do it someday to cheer somebody else up after an accident.

26. Do they tend to wait too long or do they go when they feel the urge for the first time?

He tries to go as soon as possible, but since public restrooms frighten him AND he has trouble with telling people when he needs to go, he usually ends up making himself wait too much.

27. Do they have a weak / small or strong / big bladder?

His bladder IS very large and can hold a lot, but even so it’s still not super strong because being startled can cause him to leak or wet himself.

28. What helps them cope when they have to go but can’t? What makes it worse?

Holding Adam’s hand can be the most helpful thing in the world for him. Adam soothes him and helps him feel grounded when he’s panicking, and feeling calmer can take some of the edge of his desperation for a bit.

Feeling scared makes everything involving his bladder so much worse. Fear either makes it so he can’t relax and pee when he’s trying to, OR makes his bladder cramp up on itself and release without permission.

29. Is there any type of drink (or food) that goes right through them?

Super cold things move through him quickly. (Slushees, shaved ice, etc.)

30. Do they wake up to pee at night or do they sleep through? Do they ever wake up desperate or in the middle of an accident? Do they have pee dreams?

Alex is an extremely heavy sleeper. Usually, Adam will wake up to find him squirming and need to jostle him a bit and tell him to use the toilet before he has an accident in the sheets. If Adam CAN’T get him up, he’ll end up carrying Alex to the restroom to go, haha.

All of Alex’s dreams are intense, and the pee-themed ones are no exception.

31. Do they ever pee in odd places / in public? What’s the weirdest place they’ve ever peed in? Were they drunk / on meds, sleepwalking, super desperate, etc.?

He doesn’t like peeing in weird places since he hates breaking rules. He will do everything he can to make it to a proper toilet instead… But, sometimes that isn’t an option. Still, the oddest place he’s ever gone was just into a bottle— Which isn’t TOO weird.

32. What’s the most desperate they’ve ever gotten past childhood and did they make it?

His worst bout of desperation actually occurred in his sleep, he had an insanely vivid pee dream after drinking tons of water during dinner and his body just wouldn’t wake up. The only reason he made it in time was because Adam carried him to the toilet and sat him down, allowing him to let it all out while he continued to sleep.

medical / childhood stuff (feel free to skip this ofc)

33. At what age were they potty trained? Were they ever potty-trained? (lol, I hope)

He was three, he was trained alongside one of his brothers, but their Dad only got one potty chair and so there were frequent arguments over who used it first— Which often ended with two accidents.

34. Same question as above but with bedwetting. When did they stop? Do they have one-off accidents in specific situations? (alcohol, nightmares, deep sleep?)

He wet the bed regularly until he was six, then it became much rarer. Alex’s Dad was furious any time Alex— or one of his siblings— peed their sheets. He would make that child stand outside in their wet pajamas and watch as the sheets dried to humiliate them, then order them to stay awake for the entirety of the next night.

This was understandably traumatic for Alex and for a while he would compulsively get up and down to pee every ten minutes while he tried to fall asleep each night. He remains scared of wetting the bed today, and if it ever happened he would need lots of hugs and comforting from Adam afterwards.

35. Were they accident-prone as a kid? Are they still like that or did it get better with age?

Not exactly, though there were a few accidents for him growing up. Since he was the oldest kid, he always let his siblings go ahead of him to pee each morning and sometimes he wasn’t able to wait long enough for all of them to finish. He would always be punished each time he wet himself in line.

One punishment his Dad inflicted on Alex and his siblings involved locking them into their rooms for extended periods of time. Sometimes, Dad would leave a bucket for them to pee into, but other times he forgot. When Alex was being punished this way and the bucket wasn’t left behind for him, if he couldn’t find something else to relieve himself into, he’d end up going on himself.

Another punishment was being made to stand outside overnight during rainstorms. The thunder, wind and darkness would scare Alex so badly that he’d freeze in place. He’d be too frightened to walk around and find a bush to pee on if he had to go during the night, and eventually either desperation or fear would make him pee on himself.

He also had an accident the day one of his siblings was born because he wasn’t supposed to leave the room in case something went wrong and his help was needed. He couldn’t hold it long enough.

36. Do they wear protection or did they wear it in the past? (past baby/toddler-age)

No.

37. Do they have any medical issues that make them have to pee more / have frequent accidents? If yes, how do they deal with them? Do they take meds?

None.

38. Does anyone know about said issues? Do they talk about them openly or not? (out of embarrassment? fear of bad reactions? because no one ever asks?)

N/A

39. Do they have some trauma related to omo (being mocked / scolded / yelled at for an accident, bullying, weird / scary encounters in public bathrooms, etc.)

Yes, the harsh punishments he would get for bedwetting left a serious impact on him. He is very scared of ever doing that again.

40. Did they ever have an accident or extremely close call while sick?

Yes. He got sick frequently as a kid since the cult he grew up in was against vaccinations or doctors visits. Sickness would travel through all the kids in his family, and sometimes when ill, Alex just didn’t even have the strength to wait for someone else to finish in the restroom. Sometimes, he’d be so unwell that he’d pee himself outside the door without noticing it.

#omo questionnaire #fictomo #omocute #omorashi fiction #omorashi fics #omo fiction #omo fics #alex omo

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noirapocalypto · 2 years

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26, 28, 32, and 40 for Salem, Judah, and Paola? 🤗

Thank you! @katsigian 🤗💕

[TTRPG Questions]

26. do they like to collect things? if so, what?

Salem: Salem loves anything that can be considered weird and creepy, or just anything that catches his eye that most might not look twice at (rocks, feathers, leaves, etc). His biggest collection are his tarot decks. Whenever he finds one when he's out and about, it's like he hit the jackpot, an immediate instant buy. He also has a collection of occult themed books, grimoires (both his own and others he's found) and other trinkets.

Judah: Judah's biggest hobby is model building, LEGO especially. He has tons and tons of kits that he's either completed and now has on display, or kits that he has yet to start but has on the 'to do' list. He won't ever be caught dead buying them himself though 😆He'll either order them online and have them shipped to him, or sends someone (usually his assistant) to go pick one up for him. The bigger and more complicated the kit, the better. He genuinely has loads of fun building something with his own hands.

Paola: Paola has always liked collecting stickers, even as a kid. Her dad used to get her a set of stickers whenever they ran errands together when she was very young, as a little treat for her. Since then, she's always associated them with happy memories of her dad. So it's something she's retained into adulthood as well. She always tries to get herself new ones whenever she's out somewhere, even if its those stickers one gets from coin machines. Sometimes her brother keeps an eye out and grabs a few for her when he's doing his own thing. Renato and Embry do the same. ALSO, it's not so much a collection, but Paola also has a growing amount of tshirts that she likes to wear around the house and sleep in. Not all of them originally belonged to her though. If she likes someone, chances are she's gonna help herself to some of their shirts and not return them 🤭

28. what is something that helps to comfort them?

Salem: Despite being very solitary and his tendency to wall himself up, Salem finds a lot of comfort in companionship. Not all the time and not with everyone though. It's gotta be from someone he really enjoys, trusts and loves. Whenever he's upset, he'll seek out their company. Even if they're just sitting in the same room, doing their own thing, physically having someone near him is enough to bring him comfort. He's also heavily beginning to associate touch with comfort too. A simple touch from his favorite person, even if it's something as small as a hand brushing against his, is enough to cause his wall to crumble.

Judah: Very much like Salem, Judah also heavily depends on touch for comfort--even if he sometimes doesn't know what to do when he finally receives physical comfort. He might recoil or pull away, but it's mostly instinct. But the moment it comes from someone he deeply loves, all worries, fears and any other troubles just melt away. Hugs are something he deeply enjoys and nothing else brings him such sense of safety and comfort as when someone hugs him tightly and closely, his own personal security blanket in a way. He wants to feel safe and loved (a feeling he never got as a child), and hugs usually do the trick.

Paola: Paola can easily be comforted with reassuring words, especially if she's worried or afraid. She needs to hear reassurance, especially coming directly from the source in order to brush away any nagging feelings of anxiety. Especially with her trauma, she tends to overthink and let her imagination run wild, particularly when it comes to a loved one being in danger. So something as simple as a "I'm okay, heading back home" phone call or message is enough to calm her nerves. Or if she's just stressing about something else, all someone has to do is grab her, look directly at her and just say "It's going to be okay".

32. what emotion do they feel the most often?

Salem: Sadness. Salem struggles a lot with his mental illnesses and his unresolved grief. He copes in very harmful ways, which only offer a temporary numbness to his pain and brief euphoria to allow him to feel something, at least. He was a lonely individual, choosing to deal with his emotions alone rather than seek support until recently. He's in a much better place now, especially now that he has a positive and healthy support system and he's genuinely trying to do his best. However, he still has lingering thoughts from time to time. He's accepted that it will always be a part of him, but at least he has other ways to let those feelings out rather than bury them deep inside.

Judah: Overwhelmed. Judah likes to carry himself in a way that presents someone that has everything under control. And while that is usually correct, it also places an immense sense of pressure and stress on him. He hides it well, but the second something goes wrong or something unexpected/not according to plan comes up, he's on edge and anxious. Judah overworks himself and fills the voids in his life with his career. He sometimes bites off a lot more than he can chew and it results in some extremely stressful times for him.

Paola: Anger. Paola is a very pleasant person to be around, she's kind and loves deeply. But she also has a massive chip on her shoulder. She feels life has slighted her (and her brother) with constant tragedies. She doesn't understand what she and her brother have done to deserve the hand fate has dealt them with. They were children when their entire world collapsed and were left to fend for themselves. When she loved for the first time, they were violently taken from her. When her brother loved for the first time, he was hurt by that very person. She can't comprehend why so many bad things have happened to them and an anger has festered inside her since her youth. She doesn't know exactly who to direct it to though, and it often comes out towards those that have had more of a privileged life than she has. She envy's them, not for what they have, but for never (she assumes) having to face hardship.

40. what do they smell like?

Salem: Salem always has a lingering smell of incense around him, whether it be faint or a bit strong. Whenever it's a bit stronger, it's a clear sign that he has just finished a ritual or some sort of spell work. Sometimes it's mixed in with his preferred cologne, which has some earthy notes to it: a bit musky, a bit herbal. It's not overpowering or unpleasant, sometimes it's not even noticeable unless one standing up close to him. But Salem's scent has a bit of a exotic, pleasant and oddly captivating vibe to it.

Judah: Judah smells expensive and very good. He values the way he smells just as much as he values the rest of his looks and aesthetics. Judah has an array of different types of designer colognes, so he always makes sure he smells nice. A lot of his colognes have a woodsy notes to them with hints of amber. His scent is alluring, sensual and elegant. Intoxicating, even.

Paola: Paola's preferred scent is very bold and zesty, lots of citrus and fruity smells. Her scent is very energetic and lively, much like she is. Her favorite perfumes often have notes of oranges, lemons, and/or grapefruits, sometimes with a faint floral undertones. She smells fresh and almost uplifting, in a way. She has a scent that's somewhat comforting and that lingers, even after she leaves--whether it be on a jacket she borrowed, on bed sheets she slept on, or even when she has just given someone a hug and her scent remains in their senses.

#ᴏᴄ ⋆┊ᴘᴀᴏʟᴀ ᴠᴇʟᴀsǫᴜᴇᴢ #ʟᴏʀᴇ ⋆┊ᴘᴀᴏʟᴀ ᴠᴇʟᴀsǫᴜᴇᴢ #ʟᴏʀᴇ ⋆┊ᴊᴜᴅᴀʜ ᴅᴜʙᴏɪꜱ #ᴏᴄ ⋆┊ᴊᴜᴅᴀʜ ᴅᴜʙᴏɪꜱ #ʟᴏʀᴇ ⋆┊ꜱᴠʟᴇᴍ #ᴏᴄ ⋆┊ꜱᴠʟᴇᴍ

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iviarellereads · 9 months

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The Neverending Story Chapter 9 - Spook City

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Neverending Story, read this one!)

In which we are reminded that we may have forgotten about someone... or something.

In(1)the endless sky, somewhere above the roaring waves, Falkor's voice rang out like a great bronze bell: 'Atreyu! Where are you, Atreyu?'

Even with his natural luck, Falkor was separated from Atreyu, and can't find him anywhere. Still, he won't give up.

Atreyu wanders a deserted city. He eats some rotten, abandoned food, and thinks this is a fitting place for someone who's lost all hope.

Bastian is hungry. He thinks of a woman who comes to his home sometimes to clean and do typing for his father, and often leaves baked goods in her wake. He wonders how long a person can go without eating, and wishes he'd saved at least his apple.

Atreyu wanders on, until he encounters a "half-starved werewolf" named Gmork, chained up. Atreyu gives his name as "Nobody",(2) and offers to free him, but Gmork knows he'll eat Atreyu and anyone and anything else he passes by. Atreyu offers still, and Gmork says it's an enchanted chain, only the princess who chained him can release him.

Atreyu notices that Gmork talks like he doesn't belong to Fantastica. He doesn't: in Fantastica he looks like this, and in the human world he looks like a human, but he's neither.

Atreyu perks up and asks how one can get to the human world. Gmork says, simply jump into the Nothing, but you won't remember anything on the other side. The Nothing will stick to him, he will become a lie,(3) and his existence will serve to make humans believe Fantastica doesn't exist, and try to destroy Fantastica in the process. A group called The Manipulators do it, and Gmork joined their cause, because the ability to manipulate belief is more power than he can imagine.

'I want no part in it!' Atreyu cried out. 'Take it easy, you little fool,' the werewolf growled. 'When your turn comes to jump into the Nothing, you too will be a nameless servant of power, with no will of your own. Who knows what use they will make of you? Maybe you'll help them persuade people to buy things they don'tn eed, or hate things they know nothing about, or hold beliefs that make them easy to handle, or doubt the truths that might save them. Yes, you little Fantastican, big things will be done in the human world with your help, wars started, empires founded...'

Gmork adds that the humans are generally weak-minded and believe they know all there is and that it's important to convince even their children that Fantastica doesn't exist. With this, Atreyu knows why humans no longer come to Fantastica, and that there is no escape and no hope after all.

Bastian understands this, as well, and can feel how Fantastica and his world are interconnected. He's never been willing to believe that the world is as dull as everyone says,(4) and he's contributed to Fantastica's downfall as much as anyone. He feels he owes it to Fantastica and to Atreyu to find the way to help them.

Gmork asks if Atreyu still wants to go, and Atreyu shakes his head and asks Gmork why he's here. Gmork says he had a mission, but the Dark Princess was very beautiful and charming, and locked him up and kept him from it. He adds that the Nothing has surrounded the city, but Gmork is sure he will die before the Nothing touches him. Atreyu asks why he's so wicked, and Gmork says he was jealous that other creatures got a homeworld and he didn't.

Atreyu asks what Gmork's mission was. Gmork says his superiors had enacted their plan to destroy Fantastica, but learned that the CLE had sent out a hero on a quest, which might endanger their plot. So, Gmork was sent to track and kill him. He was doing alright until the trail disappeared at Ygramul's chasm, and he never found the trail again in all his searching, never found wretched Atreyu, though at least he surely also failed because Fantastica is falling.

Atreyu admits that he is the hero. Gmork laughs, and then dies. Atreyu doesn't know why, but he approaches, and pets Gmork's fur. Gmork's corpse, lightly possessed by the evil in him, bites Atreyu's ankle like a bear trap. Atreyu tries unsuccessfully to free himself as the Nothing closes in from all sides.

=====

(1) The image is chained Gmork, his ribs showing through his skin, in front of a building with huge spiderwebs on top. (2) A classic, in more than one sense. While it probably dates back even further, most people know the trick from the Odyssey and its legacy. Odysseus goes to the Cyclops, and gives his name as "Nobody" so that when the Cyclops calls out to his fellow giants, they think he's having a laugh because Nobody (nobody) has hurt him. (3) I feel like there's gotta be a thesis or two on the relationship of truth, lie, and fiction, right? (4) The part of me that can't detach and immerse in the story is horrified at the possibility of this story normalizing the belief that magic exists in our tangible world. Like, there's a difference between believing the world can be and do better, and believing in the "magic" of appreciating the things big and small that we may or may not understand, and believing in a literal magic world like Fantastica. I am fully aware this is a silly and irrational thought to be having and inserting into this post.

#the neverending story #bastian balthazar bux #atreyu #falkor #gmork

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chloecarsonwrites · 2 years

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It Feels Like Hope

Content Warnings: themes of death, disease, religion; mentions of alcohol dependency, car accidents, sex, injury

“No, Victor, you dumbass, you can’t wear roller skates in an ice rink.” She called him a name, but she was laughing and had a smile that betrayed her fondness.

“I figure it’s the same principle,” he responded while leaning across the center console and watching a stream of melted ice cream drip down the side of her cone. “You just need something that will slide across the ice. I suppose you could just wear normal shoes and it would be the same experience.”

She gaped at him. “No, Vic. The blades of the skate grip the ice and…” Jennie went into a long explanation of the physics of ice skating. He wasn’t really listening.

He wasn’t an idiot. He understood the basic principles. Skating was Jennie’s thing; she was an aspiring professional skater. On their first date, she told him all about how she was going to be in the Olympics one day. She was going to win Gold. He didn’t mean to disrespect her passion, he just loved how she lit up when he got her talking about it. He didn’t know if he loved her, but he knew if he got to see her like that enough, he would.

Here Lies

JEANNE FRANCINE KELLER-DANDRIDGE

1972-2013

Beloved Wife, Daughter, and Friend

He cares for the headstone better than he cares for himself. While his beard is overgrown and unruly and his shoulders still sagging under the weight of heartbreak, Jennie’s headstone is pristine. It’s only been there for a few months, so it’s not yet worn by weather and time. There is no trace of moss or overgrowth; the marble is so white it sticks out like a sore thumb among its peers. Twice a week he brings new flowers, chrysanthemums, the same ones he’d get her for each of their date nights. He knows what lies under the ground beneath his feet. In the end, Jennie’s body was so frail and wasted away that there was little more than seventy pounds of skin and bone to bury. If it had been up to him, he would have had her cremated and the ashes spread somewhere peaceful. That’s not what she wanted, though.

“This is a nice spot.” A voice comes from behind him. He turns to see who it belongs to.

She’s pretty, he thinks. If you’re into the skinny blonde kind of thing. She’s got shoulder-length hair and dull green eyes. He notices a nasty, ribbed scar across her collarbone, where the dip of a low neckline exposes it. At least she’s not ashamed of it, he thinks.

“Yeah, it’s nice. We used to get ice cream at that place across the street.”

“Your girlfriend?”

“My wife.”

“Oh,” she softly says, like the revelation hurts. “How did she go?”

“Cancer.” It doesn’t hurt to say it anymore. “Seems like everyone gets it these days.”

“I’m sorry,” she says, but it sounds like a recitation of obligation. “My boyfriend got it, too. Beat it, though. Then the car crash got him. Seems so cruel, for us to be on the way home from finding out he’s in remission only to end up in a six-car pileup. That was, what?-- five years ago now, I think.”

He remembers hearing about that crash on the news. It was bad. A truck driver drove from Phoenix to Boulder on two hours of sleep and passed out at the wheel. Only three people walked away: the truck driver, an orphaned three-year old, and a 30-year-old woman. He guesses the latter was the person standing before him.

“God is either dead or cruel. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have lost them,” he says. The words taste bitter on his tongue.

“I dunno, I think God is still good.” She averts her gaze, seeming pensive. He wonders how much she’s thought about it before. “I mean, I survived, didn’t I?”

He scoffs. “Are you sure that was a blessing?”

That captures her attention once again. “What, you wish you'd have gone, too?”

“Sometimes I do.”

She doesn’t seem to have a response for that. Instead, she defaults to something safe. “What’s your name?”

“Victor. Yours?”

“Wendy.”

“Pretty.”

“Thanks.”

They’ve come to a standstill. Unwilling to say anything else, unable to leave the presence of someone who knows what tragedy feels like. Eventually, he relents.

“The ice cream place across the street. They’re about to close for the season.” He gestures aimlessly at the crisp autumn air. “They have the best strawberry in town, though. You wanna join me, Wendy?”

The memory hits him hard: himself– donning a black graduation gown and medals for academic achievement, and Jennie– wearing a pretty floral sundress, sitting on the curb in front of that shop, sharing a strawberry cone.

She sounds apprehensive when she responds. “Sure, Vic. Just don’t try anything funny.”

“Oh, Vic, I’m so proud of you. You look so handsome.” Jennie reached up to straighten his mortarboard hat. “And so decorated, too. Doctor Victor Dandridge.”

He wanted to play bashful, but really, he was swollen with pride. “Couldn’t have done it without you, Jen. All those long nights spent writing my thesis instead of coming to bed at a decent time. You never complained.”

“Doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking it,” she joked. “You always supported me when I was gonna be an Olympian.” She grinned so wide it had to hurt, but he saw that it didn’t reach her eyes.

“You still will be an Olympian, babe. A badass, Gold medal-winning Olympian.” He didn’t know if he believed it, but he reassured her nonetheless.

“Ah, Vic. Don’t tease me. You know I’m getting up in years. But who knows. Maybe I can coach the kids at the rink.”

“‘Up in years’? Jen, you’re only 35. Hell, I’m just now getting my PhD. You’ve got decades ahead of you.”

She smiles fondly at him. “That’s not how it works, Vic. Maybe in your career path. 35? That’s a normal timeline for becoming a doctor of theological studies. Figure skating? That’s something you gotta do when you’re like, 20. Once you hit your 30s, you’re pretty much old and shriveled up.”

He tried to bring that smile back to her face by kissing her cheek. “You’re anything but shriveled up, babe. You’ve still got your spunk.” His hand traveled south suggestively, and she was quick to smack it away.

“Victor Ezekiel Dandrige!” she scolded, but at least she was smiling again. “Go on, now. You gotta go find your seat. Look for me when you walk across the stage! I’ll be the one cheering the loudest.” She kissed him with a loud smooching sound and pranced off to find where Victor’s parents were sitting.

“What do you miss the most about her?” If it were anyone else, Victor would think it was too forward, too personal a question to ask someone you’ve just met. But Wendy knows loss.

“I don’t know,” he responds, “it changes every day. Sometimes it’s her laugh. Some days, it’s the fire she had inside her. Sometimes it’s the sex, let’s be real. But the thing I go back to the most is the way she’d smile at me in the morning, all soft with morning light over her face and hair all wild. She had this beautiful hair, you know? Before the treatments, I mean. It was black and coily and wild. It would tickle my neck at night. That morning light made it look almost blue. In those moments, I loved her so much I thought my heart would explode.”

Wendy smiles fondly. She knows the feeling. “Yeah. Ethan made me feel like that, too. He was so analytical about everything. He’d obsess over these textbooks, Advanced Calculus and Quantum Mechanics. He was gonna be a professor of physics, he swore. It drove me insane. All those sheets of notebook paper covered in this language I didn’t understand scattered all over our apartment, the excessive charges on the credit cards he used to buy obscure math books. He seemed too smart for me. I was always so insecure, thinking I’d never catch up with him. I didn’t know how much I’d miss his impulsive infodumps.” She licks her ice cream cone like they were talking about something as mundane as the weather. Victor supposes that once you experience that loss, your view of what is mundane shifts.

“I was a professor, once. Abrahamic Religions Studies.”

She lets out a low chuckle, one of disbelief and mockery. “Really? Your comment about God earlier told me that you’re not that kind of guy.”

“I was, once. I don’t know if I ever really believed. But the diversity, the cultures, everything about the various interpretations about a man in the sky fascinated me. Even if I didn’t subscribe to it.” His smile shifts from fond to pained to spiteful. “Now...now, though, it’s different. People invented God to make sense of the world. But there is no sense in the madness.”

“Maybe you’re right, but I hope you’re wrong. I have to believe something came better of Ethan’s soul than eternal blackness.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that. “You’re kind of lucky, you know. The way he went, you got a clean break. There was no drawn out pain from impending loss. Jennie fought for nearly two years. She went through so many rounds of chemo and radiation and three or four experimental treatments.”

“Not really, though. Ethan held on for a while, nearly three weeks. He was really messed up, but they had him sedated for most of it. He wouldn’t ever walk again, or even breathe on his own. Quadriplegic. I knew, even if he ever woke up, he wouldn’t want to live. So when they told me there was little hope and asked if I wanted to withdraw care, I did what he would have wanted. That was the only part that was easy.”

Next to their little window booth there’s a man, maybe twenty-something years old, trying to calm a screaming infant in a car seat. Victor can tell by her cheeks, red and shining with tears, that she’s been crying for a while. Before, the sight would have been endearing. Now it makes him sick with guilt.

“I knew life would be hard for Jennie if she lived. She had to have a hysterectomy early on. She wanted kids, but I had always been too busy with my degrees and getting tenure that I didn’t have time for it before she got sick.”

“Don’t you walk away from me, Victor. We are talking about this now. Because if we don’t, we never will!” Jennie was fuming. He had never seen her so angry.

“What’s there to talk about, Jeanne? We’re at an impasse. We want different things. If you think we’re gonna figure it out in one screaming match, well, that’s just ignorant.”

“What are you saying? That I’m dumb? That just because I didn’t go to college or become some important professor, my thoughts are worth less than yours?”

“Oh, stop, Jen. That’s not what I meant and you know it. Don’t you get it? This is my dream. I’m so close, Jennie. I do want kids. I just want to wait another year or two until I’m more secure in my career.”

She laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Your dream? I had a dream too, Victor. And I gave it up because I wanted you and a life with you. I knew a life of traveling and unpredictable work schedules wasn’t something I wanted to give my kids.”

“But you knew that your dream was far-fetched to begin with, Jennie. I mean, the Olympics? Please. You didn’t grow up with parents who could afford to get you the best skates or hire the best coaches. It’s all nepotism, Jen. It was never gonna happen, and you know that.”

The way her face fell into a look of disbelief and betrayal made him wish he could take back the words. Her voice dropped to a volume that terrified him. “You fucking dick. You’ve felt that way, all these years, while I put your goals on a pedestal and abandoned my own? And now it’s too late.”

“Too late for what? To have kids? We’re only 38. People have kids way later.” Victor dismissed her dramatics with what he felt was reason.

“No,” she whispered. “Dr. Harrison…she found a tumor on my cervix. It’s massive. And malignant. She says I need complete removal of everything. I thought…maybe she was wrong. So I got a second opinion. And a third. I should have known…there was no use hoping. Victor. It’s too late.”

“Yeah, they tried to freeze her eggs, but they couldn’t get any of them to be viable. I promised her we’d adopt ten kids when she was better. I think that hope kept her going a little longer. In the end, though, it didn’t matter.”

“Why didn’t she tell you? At first, I mean. Before she went for the second, or even the third, opinion.”

The breath catches in his throat. He hasn’t thought much about it– it carries too much weight. When he does ponder on it, the guilt and rage and grief tangle together and settle like a rock in his gut, so heavy and so impossible to pull apart. “She never told me. I didn’t ask. She was going through ‘the fight of her life’ as they say…she didn’t need me confronting her and demanding answers. She had her reasons. At least, that’s what I tell myself.”

She nods, but it’s the kind that prefaces a question that can’t be answered. “Why do you think she didn’t tell you?”

He huffs and crosses his arms, defensive; shut down. “I don’t know. And I can’t forgive her for it.”

Wendy has this distant, longing look on her face. She’s looking at him, but it feels like she’s looking through him. “Do you blame yourself?”

“For the disease? No. For her unhappiness, for her going to her grave feeling like she didn’t get the chance to do what she was put here for? I feel that guilt every single day.”

She sighs. “You’ve got to let go of it, Victor. I know that letting go feels like letting go of her, that the pain you feel is the only reminder that she was once here. But you’ve got to live. Jennie would want it, I know it.”

After they finish their cones, they depart outside the shop, sharing a hug that has become uncharacteristic for Victor and a promise to meet again in two weeks. Wendy makes Victor swear he’ll take care of himself, that he’ll try to get better. He complies, but he’s not sure if he means it.

That night, he avoids Jennie’s side of the bed so severely that he’s almost falling off the edge of the bed. He thinks about her pillow that’s tucked away with all her clothes in the back of the closet. It still smells like her: musk and sandalwood and something vaguely floral. He considers getting it out to press his face into it as he sleeps. Instead, he forces his eyes shut and his brain to turn off. That night, he dreams of Jennie’s hair tickling his neck.

The next time Victor is meant to see Wendy, she’s convinced him to come to some grief support group at her church. He practically retches at the thought of stepping into a place of worship, but he hasn’t got many friends. He considers Wendy a friend. He doesn’t want to lose the one relationship he’s got.

So he caves. He pulls on clothes that aren’t separating at the seams. He attempts to comb his hair and beard. He wants these people who are also reeling from the loss of a loved one to think he’s got it together, so he goes so far as to spritz the dregs of a nearly-empty cologne bottle on his neck, the same one he wore on his wedding day.

When Wendy finds him, he’s on the floor of his kitchen next to an empty liquor bottle. He thinks he might’ve passed out, but he can’t even tell his right from his left in his stupor.

“Oh, fuck, Wendy,” the words run so close together that they’re nearly unintelligible, “I’m s-sorry.” He laughs, but he doesn’t know what at. “I just needed a drink before I had to go to that place.”

Wendy’s got her arms crossed over her chest and a stoic, disappointed look on her face. It’s not a look of surprise. Rather, it’s one that says she predicted this happening.

“So much for taking care of myself, right?” he laughs again, the sound sharp with malice.

He expects her to go. He waits for the tell-tale sound of the front door slamming closed, the sound fading away along with the whisper of kinship he thought they had. His head falls back and thuds against the linoleum. He prepares for a night spent on his kitchen floor.

Her touch shocks him. He wasn’t expecting it. And the way her hands feel on his shoulders…they’re soft. No one has touched him with such gentleness, such compassion, in months.

“I know. I know it’s bad in the beginning. You should have seen me. I was fucked every second of the day. I was high for weeks. And not from weed; not the good stuff. Heroin. Pills. I could show you the track marks, but they still hurt to look at. I have to avoid looking at them in the shower, when I’m changing, always.”

Victor’s still drunk out of his mind. He wishes he were sober for this conversation. “What made you stop?”

“I got arrested. For trying to break into a pharmacy after hours– I got lucky. I wasn’t armed and I got caught before any damage had been done, so they stuck me in mandated rehab for eight weeks. Truthfully? If no one had stopped me, I think I’d still be strung out all these years later. The weight of it all– his wife dying a slow, painful death, his alcohol dependency, the things he wishes he’d said and the things he wishes he never had– settles hard and heavy on his chest. How…how did I get here? When did this become my life? A phantom life dances before his eyes. He and Jennie, going gray and getting crows feet but satisfied nonetheless, eating sandwiches on a blanket in some idyllic park. There’s a little girl with them, maybe four years old, one who’s got Jennie’s hair and fire in her eyes. A little baby boy in a stroller who babbles and coos and has Victor’s nose.

He feels a tear rolling down his cheek and dripping onto the tile. “I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to get better…if I get better, then she’ll really be gone.”

She sniffles, and he looks up. She’s crying too, the tears running into the groove of her mouth turned up in a bittersweet smile. “She is gone, Victor. You’ve got two choices: you can wallow and waste away until you go, too; or you can wallow for a little bit, but then you’ve gotta pull yourself out of it.”

Victor’s chest cracks open.

“I don’t deserve to get better! I deserve to be in this hell; I deserve to be a miserable drunk. Maybe I want to waste away, Wendy. So don’t come in here acting like I’m your project. We are not the same.”

She grabs his face, then, “we are the same, Victor! We both suffered a terrible, terrible loss that drove us to the lowest points of our lives. You think I never spent a night on my kitchen floor? High off my ass with a dirty, used needle in my arm? Knowing the risk of disease and overdose but not caring enough to stop? I want to stop you before you get to that point, Victor. You deserve to be okay again.”

He sniffs, reaching for the bottle and huffing when he finds it empty. “Do you know what I did, Wendy? I- I tried to tell you before, but I can’t bear to say it out loud.”

She says nothing. Her eyes dare him to continue.

“I put off having kids for years. I don’t know what got in the way. It might have been the fear of being a dad and driving my kids to soccer in a minivan. Maybe I didn’t want to show that I was soft. Maybe it was just that I cared about my job too much. I don’t even really know what it was at this point. But I put it off, even though Jennie wanted it so bad. She waited for me to be ready, having faith that one day I would be. She always said skating was her dream. Then we grew up. I think…I think her dream was to make an impact. She wanted to bring people to tears with her skating; she wanted to raise a baby to be a good person. And she never got to do either, and it was my fault.”

He can’t meet her eyes. He’s afraid of what he would see. Instead, he watches the digital clock on the microwave.

“You asked me,” he says after a pause, “why I think she didn’t tell me about the cancer sooner. I thought it was because she didn’t want it to be real and thought she could make it go away if she kept it secret. But I know, deep in my soul, that she did it to get back at me. She wanted the news to take me out when they hit me. I think at that point, she resented me so much that she didn’t even love me anymore. I took away her dream. She wanted me to suffer the same.”

She should leave me here to rot, he thinks. Instead, he feels a soft tug on his wrist and looks up to see Wendy standing from her place next to his prone form.

“C’mon, Vic. We’re going for a drive.”

There aren’t many places he was predicting her to take him. A rehab facility, maybe, or a hospital to get him much-needed IV fluids. Instead, she pulls into a parking lot of the university where Victor used to work.

They’re in the mathematics and sciences quadrant of campus, an area he’s less familiar with. He thinks back to his office in a run-down humanities building across campus and wonders who occupies it now.

“Why are we here? Revisiting my old life isn’t going to ‘fix’ me.”

She smiles at him, a smile that makes him feel just a little less hopeless. “No, Victor. I wanted to show you something.”

She leads him to a newly-renovated academic building that’s got seven floors and big windows. Through them, he can see students in study rooms, hunched over their laptops and notebooks; he can see them sitting in classrooms, typing furiously in an effort to keep up; he can see them in labs, imagining their goggles fogging up.

“Look,” she whispers.

He follows her pointed finger to the metal letters hung above the entrance to the building.

“Remember how Ethan wanted to be a physics instructor?” Victor can hear the smile on her face. He feels a little flutter in his gut as he reads:

THE ETHAN G. ANDERSON BUILDING FOR ASTROPHYSICS

“Ethan submitted his thesis a week before his death. I didn’t know it, but he’d been working on it through his illness. I don’t know if it was anything revolutionary to the physics world. But, they were renovating the building when the accident happened. The physics faculty started a petition to do this for him. We can’t bring them back, Victor. And no amount of self-punishment will make it better. But, we can do things to honor the people they were in life.”

Victor smiles and thinks about the ice rink Jennie coached kids at years ago, before she got sick. He remembers with a gentle fondness the joy on their faces.

When he gets home, his body, like a magnet, draws him towards the minibar where a half-full bottle of scotch waits for him. He pulls out a glass, and unscrews the cap, but just as the liquid is about to flow out, he stops. He thinks about Jennie, about how she always said she hated the stuff because it ‘turned good men into dogs’.

He laughs, and it’s the first time in months that he does so without a hint of spite. The sharp smell of the drink calls to him, but he screws the cap back on and walks away, even though he can feel the invisible string pulling him back.

He makes himself a nice dinner, Jennie’s recipe for pan-fried chicken and a side of broccoli. It’s not as good as when she made it, but it’s been so long since he had something other than takeout for dinner that the meal is bliss. When he thinks about her as he eats, it only hurts a little.

That night before bed, he shaves his overgrown beard. He thinks he should’ve pulled out the weedwacker to do it, and by the end, he looks ten years younger. The face before him is battered, with deep worry lines and purple bags under his eyes. In the eyes themselves, though, he sees something. Something that reminds him of Jennie’s eyes. A glimmer. He thinks it might be hope.

When he falls into bed he allows himself to lay in the middle instead of avoiding Jennie’s side. It’s strange. The mattress is wearing unevenly. He’ll flip it tomorrow.

#short story

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sparklysung · 3 years

Text

✨SWALLOW YOUR WORDS – l.d.h.✨

pairing – lee donghyuck x female!reader

genre – smut | non-idol!au, enemies to lovers!au

warnings – switch!donghyuck, switch!reader, lap dance, cumming in pants, grinding, dry humping, cum eating, hair pulling (giving and receiving), spanking, mirror sex, protected sex (reader’s on the pill), degradation, dirty talk, bondage (belt), possessiveness (i guess?)

word count – 6.043 words

summary – it only took a couple of words to make the blood boil in your veins and being the competitive individual you are, you had to prove lee donghyuck, your all-time enemy, wrong.

note – not my best, probably could've done better, but oh well. also this was frkng hard to write, damn, and i may have changed things a bit? BUT, i think it's better like this so… hope you enjoy! btw, i got the idea while reading this, so go check it out –it's good–.

taglist – @prvncejxon, @iwishihadabettername

another friday night wasting your time at some random classmate’s party. you were everything but happy to be there. you didn’t even want to go there in the first place, only finding yourself sitting on the kitchen counter, drink in hand and an ugly scowl adorning your face, because of your annoying best friend.

“hey, i get it, you didn’t wanna come here when you could have been peacefully sleeping in the comfort of your room, but come on, at least try to have some fun. you’re already here anyway.” eunbin –aka your annoying best friend– said, pouting her lips in a failed attempt of looking cute.

you kind of felt bad for her, you suppose it wasn’t exactly easy to deal with your lazy ass. but still, she was supposed to love you and appreciate you just the way you were.

and most of the time she did, just not in this specific situation.

“this isn’t fun at all, i just wanna go home. there’s nothing in here for me at all.”

you brought the red plastic cup to your lips, taking a sip of the bitter liquid eunbin had mixed for you. you weren’t lying, there really wasn’t anything that would make you want to stay, only a few friends of yours getting drunk somewhere in the big house you were currently in.

“come on, please, stay for me,” eunbin fake cried, and for a moment you thought she was going to give up and let you go. “in a bit the guys are gonna play something fun! we should join them, please?” as her last resort, she looked at you with puppy eyes. she was playing dirty and she knew it, you both knew you couldn’t resist them.

giving in with an exasperated sigh, you jumped off the counter to get yourself another drink from the bar in the living room. you were minding your own business until you heard him, the last person you wanted to see at the moment.

“so, i’m telling you guys, she was literally begging me to fuck her, she even moaned while sucking me off–,” donghyuck’s obnoxious voice filled your ears, making you roll your eyes. he was surrounded by a couple of other guys you didn’t know so well but were sure you had seen them before around campus hanging out with him.

“shut up already, dongdong, no one wants to hear it.” you interrupted, walking past him and towards the half empty bottle of vodka on the bar counter.

the group of boys stopped abruptly, all of them turning to look at you, ready for the scene that was going to take place in matter of minutes. donghyuck’s attention also turned to you, biting back a triumphant smirk with a raised eyebrow. he could see past you so he didn’t mind the mocking nickname you used; he could tell you were trying to irritate him enough to make him go away. but he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. he had been eyeing you all night, trying to find ways to get under your skin to catch your attention. and finally, after staying at a safe distance for a while to not spark suspicions, he got what he wanted.

“why so feisty, babe.” the cocky smirk he gave you just made your blood boil, the growing desire to punch it off his pretty face only getting stronger the more you stared at him.

“don’t you get tired of talking shit all day?” you barked, eyes trained on his body while pouring yourself a good amount of alcohol.

you were certainly going to need a lot of liquid courage to get through the night.

“you boast about girls begging for you but i think you’re just trying to hide the fact that you’re the one who has to beg to get laid.”

“i don’t beg, baby.” you rolled your eyes and muttered a ‘sure’. “also, if you’re jealous of me fucking other girls you just had to say it. i wouldn’t be against giving it to you instead.” the stupid wink he threw at you made your body shake in anger, already fed up with the conversation.

“you wish, asshole.”

“actually, i do.”

donghyuck was so fucking annoying, always teasing you and never leaving you alone. your personalities clashed constantly resulting in fights filled with screams and curses, sometimes to the extent of interrupting the class and getting the two of you kicked out of it. he enjoyed watching you struggle and suffer due to his awful pranks, so you were his favorite target. you couldn’t even have a proper date with anyone because he made sure to mess it up either by scaring the crap out of the guy or sabotaging your plans. he almost completely ruined your love life and cockblocked you forever.

you did not get along and everyone knew it.

although eunbin thought it was pure sexual tension and you just needed to get your frustrations off of you with a good fuck.

it wasn’t though.

or was it?

“let’s go hang out with the guys,” your best friend nudged your arm excitedly and you sighed, not feeling like playing anything with them. every time you decided to give in and take part in ‘something fun’ with the guys, it always ended up with you either in trouble or scarred for life.

you had a bad feeling about this all.

“ugh, fine.” she cheered and pulled you through the crowd of drunk people until you reached the basement.

the sound of laughter and screams drowned the music blasting upstairs, there were empty bottles of alcohol sprawled all over the floor and tables and a circle of people in the middle of the room. both of you joined the group with you sitting between eunbin and mark, a close friend of yours that you sadly shared with donghyuck. while you casually chatted and played around with the boy, happily laughing the night away, you could feel a pair of eyes burn holes into your skull. you didn’t have to look up to know who those eyes belonged to, as said person wasn’t even trying to dissimulate.

and by said person you meant donghyuck.

donghyuck hated the way you leaned on mark’s body, how you let his friend rest his head on top of yours and wrap his arm around your waist.

he was jealous, really jealous of your close friendship with the older boy.

mark and you had been friends for a long time now and you could even consider him your best friend, so you were comfortable around each other. you usually hugged, held hands and cuddled, he was used to you wearing his clothes –half of your closet were stolen hoodies that once belonged to him–, he even had a spare change of clothes in his room just in case you decided to drop by for an improvised sleepover. so it wasn’t surprising when sometimes when the two of you hung out on your own, people –even your friends in common– mistook you as a couple.

and the idea of you two dating made donghyuck feel sick to the stomach.

“we’re playing truth or dare, who wants to start?” seoyeon, one of your friends, spoke while looking around for someone to volunteer.

“i’ll go.” lucas raised his hand and everyone nodded, not minding.

the game went smoothly for a while and eventually, the more alcohol everybody drank, the crazier things got. mark ended up getting dared to lick whipped cream off of yuta’s chest and xiaojun had to cross-dress and dance on a table. everything was fine, you hadn’t been picked by anyone yet so you were pretty much having fun just enjoying the show.

until someone called your name.

“y/n, truth or dare?” jaehyun asked with a smirk.

he had an evil glint on his eyes making you feel suspicious. you knew you couldn’t choose truth or else everyone would make fun of you for being a pussy. and jaehyun just knew you well enough to know you weren’t going to let that happen.

you weren’t one to back down.

still, the way he stared at you made an uneasy feeling settle in your stomach.

what could he possibly have in mind?

“dare.”

seems like your gut feeling was right after all.

“give hyuck a lap dance,” jaehyun said immediately after the words left you mouth, making everyone in the room shake, some in excitement and some –you– in anger. donghyuck wasn’t expecting to take part in the dare, but he really wasn’t complaining either. “thank me later babe,” his shit-eating grin only adding fuel to the fire.

fuck.

just as eunbin, donghyuck could sense the sexual tension. and unlike you, he acknowledged it.

but for him it wasn’t just that.

you two had known each other –or at least acknowledged each other's existence– for a few years now, since high school. he was forced to see you almost every day at school, so, naturally, fondness for you started growing slowly in his chest. but it wasn’t until you both left for college that your ‘enemies’ label was established.

and if someone thought he may possibly like you, they were damn right.

he did.

it all started during freshman year, when he tried to befriend you during one of the classes you shared. you seemed irritated by his advances and wanted him away from you, so after a few attempts of softening your heart, he resolved that the only way to stay close to you was annoying the hell out of you.

childish? yeah. he cared? not really.

“come here, babe.” donghyuck tongued the inside of his cheek, a smirk forming on his lips. as he saw the grim look on your face, he sprawled his legs, patting his toned thigh invitingly, eager to get things started.

the look jaehyun gave you had ‘you’re not backing down, are you?’ written all over.

“shit, i hate jaehyun, why did he have to do me dirty like that?” you mumbled angrily to eunbin and she just laughed, finding the situation way funnier than you.

“maybe tonight won’t be as boring as you thought? maybe you’ll end up getting laid.” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and you only scoffed, “shut up, dumbass.”

“why did you have to do me like that, huh?!” you almost screamed at the older, taking a mental note to beat him up later. he just shrugged and threw you a wink, “asshole.”

mark patted your back to help you relax, he could see you weren’t exactly happy about your dare.

“come on, which song would you like, my lady?” lucas asked, scrolling through his spotify for suiting songs.

“or nah!” yangyang answered before you could even open your mouth. just as you were about to ask for a less sexual song, cheering erupted through the room.

everyone was pumped, adrenaline running through their veins and pushing them to do stupid stuff they would probably regret the next day after waking up hungover. and things just took a rather interesting turn, so they obviously were excitedly awaiting the next series of events.

yay, more stupid memories to regret later.

on the other hand, donghyuck was as doomed as you. he knew the song well, he knew the lyrics by heart but what he didn’t know was if he could control himself with you basically dry humping him in front of a bunch of people to the rhythm of it.

he wasn’t sure it was a great idea.

as soon as you got up to complete the dare, you heard cheering and clapping. and you weren’t going to lie, you wanted to throw yourself out of a window.

breathing deeply in an attempt of relaxing to just get it over with, you made your way towards donghyuck until you were standing a few feet in front of him.

as the music started playing, you started moving. running your finger on the surface of his clothed shoulder, you walked slowly around him, like a predator circling its prey. he tried not to follow your movements, already getting anxious by your closeness and nervously waiting for your next move.

i’ma smoke this joint then i’ma break you off.

i’d be lying if i said you ain’t the one.

you pushed his legs open and settled between them. your hands rubbed his thighs teasingly, fingers drawing closer to his crotch but not quite getting there. you took your sweet time feeling him up, softly scratching his strong arms and leaving red trails behind. donghyuck was so into it, enjoying the sight of you kneeling before him so much that his pants were already starting to feel tight.

heard you not the type that you take home to mom.

is we fuckin’ when we leave the club or nah?

i ain’t spendin’ cash for nothin’ i wanna see you take it off.

and oh how he wanted to see you take it off. all night he couldn’t take his eyes off of your figure, you looked really good in the outfit eunbin had chosen for you.

so good it was almost making him drool.

you sat on his lap, hands going to caress his toned chest and stomach. it was well-known that donghyuck exercised frequently, but it still surprised you. he felt so good you had to bite your lip to prevent a sound from coming out.

when you shifted to sit closer to him, his hands flew to your hips and you could tell his intention was to move them lower to grope your ass, but you weren’t having it.

do you like the way i flick my tongue or nah?

you can ride my face until you’re drippin’ cum.

“if you try to touch me again, i’ll tie you up,” you said with a sweet smile plastered on your face, grabbing him by the wrists and harshly dropping them away from you. donghyuck let out a startled gasp at that, obviously not expecting your attitude. with his hands twitching to grasp anything, he went to grip tightly the sides of the chair.

can you lick the tip then throat the dick or nah?

can you let me stretch that pussy out or nah?

your hips ground against his crotch at such a slow pace that donghyuck was having trouble not pushing you down on him faster. he was getting embarrassingly hornier as seconds passed and wanted nothing more than to fuck you right then and there, even with his friends’ eyes on you both.

donghyuck tried so hard to restrain himself from touching you. he wasn’t one to follow orders, but he tried just for you, he really did.

i’m not the type to call you back tomorrow.

but the way you wrappin’ ‘round me is a prob.

and everything was fine until you kissed him. synchronized gasps filled the room, the sudden show of affection confusing everybody. not even your intoxicated self could understand what the hell were you doing nor who you were doing it with. his breath got stuck in his throat, heart thumping against his chest at an alarming rate. his hands almost tried to bring you closer, but he realized what he was doing on time to stop himself.

he finally broke down when your mouth sucked on his tongue, making his hips grind up against yours unconsciously as his hands grabbed you by your waist, pressing your body flush against his.

that was it.

“you asked for it,” your movements came to a stop as you took off your black leather belt, sticking to your threat of tying him up if he didn’t quit it.

pussy so good, i had to save that shit for later.

took her to the kitchen, fucked her right there on the table.

“oh shit,” donghyuck stirred under you trying to get out of the situation.

this couldn’t be happening.

“no, please,” he whimpered as you fastened the belt until it was wrapped tightly around his wrists, locking his arms behind his back. your audience was unable to hold in their surprise, some mouths falling open. he fought against the restraints to no avail, desperate to free himself, “please, let me go,” he cried out quietly, not wanting the other occupants in the room to hear him.

“stop complaining or else i’ll also gag you,” you spat harshly in his ear, done with his attitude, and he swallowed hard. as you nibbled on his lobe, you felt a strong sense of confidence. it made your chest swell in pride to see the usual big mouth jerk with a smug grin constantly attached to his face falling apart under your touch.

seems like he was the one to beg, after all.

you moved your hips to the rhythm of the music, making sure to press harder against the sensitive tip of his cock, which was already leaking precum. although you weren’t an expert, you’d given a fair share of lap dances, so you knew what you were doing.

and donghyuck could certainly tell.

don’t play with a boss, girl take it off.

take it for a real one.

you gon’ get it all.

“whose bitch are you now, huh?” donghyuck couldn’t speak properly, way too hot and bothered for his brain to come up with any smart-ass response.

you tsked disapprovingly at his lack of response.

“when i ask you a question, you answer.” your fingers tangled in his hair and with a harsh tug you forced him to look up. donghyuck was dazed, lips swollen from you biting on them, eyes glassy from arousal, and mind clouded with lust.

“yours.” he whimpered quietly, forgetting momentarily about your audience.

“good boy.”

you loved how easy it was for you to break him and leave him wanting more, to have him so putty in your hands. specially since hearing comments of other female classmates about donghyuck teasing them almost till the brim of tears was part of your day-to-day life. it felt like you were getting revenge for all of them, so you were enjoying it a lot more than anyone could imagine.

your plump lips trailed down the length of his neck, leaving wet kisses along his honey-like skin, and he threw his head back to give you more access. as you licked, sucked and bit the flesh, donghyuck could hear his heartbeat loud over the music. he usually wouldn’t let a girl suck hickeys on his skin, but the idea of you marking him while everyone watched was rather exciting.

he swore the seconds passed slower than usual. you were just halfway through the song but he didn’t know if he could survive any longer.

donghyuck felt light-headed and painfully aroused, and he wasn’t going to last long if you kept kissing him and moving your hips the way you were.

“i’ma go as far as you let me,” your movements became slower to tease him, making the poor boy want to cry in agony. his jeans felt way too tight to be comfortable and he hoped everyone could just leave you two alone to take it off.

“shit, please,” donghyuck’s eyes closed, head falling forward and hanging low as drops of sweat slid down his forehead. the room felt like an oven and he didn’t know if it was a result of the significant amount of people in such a small space, the alcohol, his choice of clothing or your body pressed closely against his.

probably the latter.

girl, is you sucking me or fucking me or nah?

can i bring another bitch? let’s have a threesome.

“keep saying you’re a freak, you gon’ prove it or nah?” you quietly sang along, pulling his face closer by his hair and grinding down on him harder.

donghyuck was going crazy, he had never expected you to be so sexy, to behave so dirtily. but he loved it, and by the prominent tent in his pants, everybody could tell he was in for the ride of his life.

you’s a ride-or-die chick, you with this shit or nah?

say you not a side bitch, you all-in or nah?

you gon’ make them eggs cheesy with them grits or nah?

you brought him in for a hot kiss that left his head spinning.

donghyuck was growing restless as his climax neared, he was so close he could almost taste it. he couldn’t remember when the last time he got so close to cumming only from some teasing was.

everything was happening so quickly he wasn’t able to stop himself before giving in to the pleasure.

“h-holy fuck,” with a shaky moan that you swallowed, donghyuck shot his load, staining the crotch of his dark jeans. you could feel the wetness seeping through the piece of clothing and dampening your bottoms. his hips gave a few more sloppy thrusts, legs shaking weakly and cock twitching from the confines of his jeans, before falling limp on the chair.

or nah.

as the song ended, he came down from his high. you freed him from the iron grip of your belt, the skin on his wrists was red and slightly swollen. you may have tightened it too much in the heat of the moment, but you weren’t apologizing after giving him probably the best orgasm of his life.

the bewildered expression on his face quickly turned grim as it hit him.

he came in his pants like a fucking teenager.

in a room full of people.

in front of his friends, yours and you.

his friends stood there, both confused and surprised to see donghyuck so affected by your touch. nobody had expected things to end the way they did.

“damn, are you okay my man?” johnny asked, laughing at his friend’s flustered state.

“shut up,” donghyuck answered bitterly. he shot up from his seat, grabbing your hand and shoving you inside the nearest bathroom in the house. he didn’t even care to cover the wet spot on his pants, walking with his chin up and a scowl plastered on his face.

and blame it on how riled up you had gotten from the feeling of his hard dick pressing against your needy pussy, but damn, he looked good.

“i wanna go next!” hendery spoke excitedly. you couldn’t tell if he was just messing with you or if he actually wanted you to give him a lap dance too. either way, it made your lips turn upwards in a smug grin.

once you both made it to the bathroom, he locked the door before pushing you against it, back pressed flush into the hard piece of wood. the ambience took a 180 turn, your confidence faltered slightly at the sight of his angry form.

“you think it’s funny, yeah?” he hummed angrily in your ear. “you think i’d let you do whatever you want and embarrass me in front of my friends just because you feel like it without payback?” the look on his eyes getting darker as the words left his mouth.

“if so, oh baby, you were so wrong.”

trying to test him, you decided to answer.

“you’re all bark and no bite, what else am i supposed to think?” you smirked devilishly when you saw him clench his jaw.

“you’re gonna regret being a brat,” his slender fingers wrapped themselves around your waist and with a harsh tug, he pulled you closer to attack your lips, biting and sucking on them, making your legs wobbly. he tasted sweet and bitter at the same time, probably from the liquor he had been drinking all night, and you couldn’t seem to get enough. his lips were soft and plush as they mingled with yours, teeth roughly clashing and tongues fighting for dominance, “am i?”

donghyuck hissed through his teeth as he unbuckled his pants, letting his cum-covered shaft spring free. he was already hard and you unconsciously rubbed your thighs together to ease some of the tension building up between them. his hand shot to your throat, tightening his grip until you couldn’t breathe properly, before forcing you on your knees.

donghyuck tapped his hard and heavy cock on your lips a couple of times before speaking. “open up, slut,” and you did as you were told, parting your lips and poking your tongue out, waiting for him to slide in.

but he didn’t.

he wanted you to lick him clean, he wanted to see you do as he said, follow his orders like a good girl without complaints.

“clean the mess you’ve done. now.”

the harsh tone of his voice sent a wave of arousal straight to your core. your hands immediately shot up to grab a hold of his length, but before you got too close he stopped you. confusion was written all over your face and for a moment you worried he had changed his mind.

“no hands, i want you to work on it only with that dirty mouth of yours.”

with your hands gripping onto his thighs, your tongue swiped from the base to the head of his cock, eagerly licking him clean. once you had swallowed every drop of his cum, your mouth took him whole, hollowing your cheeks, one hand massaging his balls. donghyuck threw his head back as yours bobbed at a rapid pace, the tip of his cock reaching the back of your throat as you swallowed around him.

when he was about to cum, he pulled away from your mouth, making you whine at the loss. wrapping his hand once again around your throat like a beautiful necklace, he forced you up on your feet. he turned you around before pulling you closer by a rough tug. your clothed ass pressed against his dick, a mixture of his arousal and your saliva wetting the cloth. your hips ground back to both tease him, desperate to feel something, anything. his hands went to the front of your jeans, rubbing his fingers over your clothed clit and a whimper fell from your lips.

“more, i need more,” you pleaded, the barrier of clothes making the feeling less pleasurable.

he surprisingly complied without resistance, dipping the digits under the restricting cloth. a deep groan vibrated against the side of your neck when he felt the wetness that had been gathering inside your panties since your dare.

“look at you, so damn wet,” his mouth watered at the feeling of your needy heat. at this point, donghyuck knew everyone had an idea of what you two could possibly be doing, and although he would enjoy returning the favour by eating you out to his heart’s content, there wasn’t enough space nor time to do so comfortably. but he swore he would make it up to you some time.

“for who is it, baby?” the answer was obvious, but still, he wanted to hear it directly from you. he inserted one long finger until it was knuckles deep inside of you and you let out a squeak, head falling back onto his shoulder.

“for you donghyuck, all for you.”

“that’s right, slut, only i can make you that wet, only i can touch you like this. you’re mine, don’t forget that,” he inserted a second finger and pumped them deeply into you.

“yes,” you breathed out softly, too far gone to fight back with a snarky remark.

although his fingers felt good and you could possibly –with a bit of an effort– cum just from them, you still wanted more. you wanted to feel the nice stretch of his cock tearing your walls apart.

“please, donghyuck.”

“what do you want?”

donghyuck knew what you wanted. fuck, he wanted it too, so bad. he had been waiting for an opportunity like this for a long time and now that he could finally have it, he was going to make the best out of it.

“fuck me,” your core ached to be filled so you swallowed your pride and spoke out.

“condom?”

“we don’t need it, i’m on the pill,” you rushed, stomach twisting and turning in excitement, “please, just fuck me.”

donghyuck’s eyes turned darker, lust clouding both of your minds with the only desire to fuck each other stupid. he pulled down your jeans so they were pooling on your ankles and went back to pump his fingers inside you to make sure you were ready to take him. as he entered you, you had to lean on the sink in front of you to hold yourself up or else you would have faceplanted the mirror.

“you feel so good, fuck, so fucking tight,” donghyuck growled when he was balls deep in you.

whimpers fell from your lips from the delicious stretch of his thick cock. after a few seconds of you adjusting to his size, you backed your ass into his hips to let him know you wanted him to move. he gave a couple of thrusts to test the waters before picking up his pace and you gripped the sides of the sink as he pounded into you. his mouth worked on your neck while you brought one of his hands under your shirt to play with your breasts.

“such a pretty sight, don’t you think?” he tugged harshly at your hair to force you to look at your reflection on the mirror, thrusts never faltering.

your makeup was ruined; lipstick smeared messily all over your lips from the hot make-out session, neck full of bruises donghyuck left to claim you, shirt pulled above your breasts displaying your puckered nipples while one of his big hands grabbed your boob as they bounced with every hard snap of his hips.

“you have no idea how many times i had to control myself not to pounce on you,” his eyes never left your quivering reflection, completely in love with the way your frame molded with his, “every single time you couldn’t keep that pretty little mouth of yours closed and all i wanted to do was shut you up with my cock.”

“f-fuck,” his thrusts turned rougher as his free hand wrapped around your neck, tightening his grip and amplifying the mind-blowing sensations he was giving you.

your asscheeks slapped against his hips, which drilled against you at an unhuman pace, hitting the right spots with every snap and making your eyes roll to the back of your head. you couldn’t keep your mouth shut, loud moans threatening to fall from your lips so you slapped your palm over your mouth to muffle your sounds.

“don’t, i want to hear you,” he gave a particularly hard thrust to try and draw a sound out of you, “i want you to be so loud that all of our friends know what we’re doing, i want them to know how good i’m making you feel.”

specially mark.

but he wasn’t going to tell you that.

“h-hyuck,” you couldn’t hold back the broken moan that fell from your lips, pleasure overtaking your body. your hands gave in and you almost fell forward, but donghyuck reacted sooner and pulled you by your hair, holding you up.

“address me properly, brat,” he growled in your ear. you felt a hard slap on your ass, the skin of the abused area stinging from the impact.

“i’m sorry… fuck, donghyuck,” your cries went straight to his dick, urging him to fuck you harder. he kneaded the flesh soothingly before spanking it again and again until you could make out the imprint of his big hand on your asscheek.

“f-faster, please,” you pleaded in a whine and he tsked, shaking his head, “such a greedy little slut.”

“what would everyone think of you if they could see you so eagerly taking my cock, mm?” donghyuck hummed, “begging for me to fuck you until you can’t walk properly?

shocks of pleasure shot through you, his dirty talk helping you reach your release faster than you anticipated. his grip on you was so tight you were sure you were going to be sore the next day. your moans turned pornographic as you neared your release, your walls squeezed around donghyuck to the point he was unable to move, so he started drawing circles over your sensitive clit to help you get off.

“let go, baby.”

and soon, his touch threw you over the edge, causing your body to shake and a broken moan to fall from your lips, legs weak as your whole weight only relied on your arms for support. he followed shortly after, grunting as he filled you up with his warm and sticky essence.

as he pulled out, a mixture of your slick juices and his seed leaked from your abused hole, dripping down your inner thighs. his fingers slid over to gather the drops of cum and opposite to your assumption, he didn’t push it back inside of you but brought the digits to your face, waiting for you to open your mouth.

“suck.”

and you did, eyes locked with his through the mirror as your tongue swirled around his fingers to lick them clean.

“fuck,” donghyuck sighed, “i didn’t know you were so dirty, sweetheart.”

and the teasing comes back.

“do you want me to remind you how i made you cum in your pants back there in a room full of people?” you rolled your eyes in disbelief and he just let out a breathy laugh.

“whatever. either way, even if they didn’t have the pleasure of fucking you or at least seeing you get fucked, they surely could hear you from how loud you were screaming my name.”

“good thing mark now knows who you belong to,” the words slipped out of his mouth before he could think and both of you shared a look of pure shock.

“did you just mention mark?”

“…no?”

“you did! what the fuck? were you jealous of mark?” you asked, eyes wide as you remembered the disgusted look on his face when you and mark got too touchy with each other during the game.

“i am jealous of mark.”

“what? why?”

“oh my god, you’re so dense.”

“shut up, i’m not.”

“yes, you are. i like you dumbass, that’s fucking why. why wouldn’t i be jealous if you two act like you’re dating but always deny it when questioned? i can give you my hoodies, i can cuddle you and hold your hand, i can spoil you with cute stuff. i can be your boyfriend, it doesn’t have to be him.”

everything was so weird.

you were supposed to be enemies for fucks sake.

but he looked cute with pouty lips.

“well, you sure have got a damn weird way of demonstrating it.”

“shut up, okay?” donghyuck snapped, done with trying to get you to shut the fuck up. “i just didn’t know how to approach you or talk to you at all, alright?” he sighed, a scowl forming on his face. “you always seem to be angry when i’m around.” the change in his voice shocked you, it was much softer now, as if he was afraid of you hearing it.

“hey, don’t beat yourself for it, alright?” you sighed, feeling bad for being so mean to him for no reason. because you really didn’t have a reason. whenever you weren’t at each other’s throats and you got time to observe him from afar, you saw how caring he was with his friends, even if most of the time he annoyed the crap out of them.

donghyuck actually seemed like a good guy… if you ignored his teasing.

maybe you didn’t hate him as much as you thought.

“so, would you be my-,”

suddenly, the sound of banging on the door resonated through the room.

“are you done already? i need to pee.”

you quickly fixed your clothes, embarrassed by the presence of someone outside the door waiting for you and donghyuck to get out and momentarily forgetting about the boy’s proposal. just as you were about to open the door and get yourself the fuck out of the situation, his arms wrapped around your waist to pull you closer and whisper to your ear in a way you could feel your panties get damp once again.

“we’re not done yet, princess.”

–lia:)

1K notes · View notes

dollslayer · 3 years

Text

Champagne Problems

Bartender!Bucky x Reader

Summary: When your ex-boyfriend makes a surprise appearance at your sister's wedding you find help from an unexpected source.

W/C: 4,642

Warnings: NO MINORS, Smut, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, swearing, alcohol consumption

A/N: Hey! I know it's been a minute (sorry), I wrote this for @saiyanprincessswanie's writing challenge using the bartender au! If you like this please reblog and comment and check out my other fics!! Cheers!

Main Masterlist

You sighed internally before slapping on a smile for yet another group picture. Your bridesmaid dress was itchy and you already regretted spending the entire night in it, as the reception was just starting. But it was your sister’s day and you decided that if what she really wanted was for you to wear this itchy monstrosity to honor her wedding then damn it, you’d do it. So you leaned in close with the rest of the wedding party and posed some more.

When the photographer had finished with his photos you were ushered to the family table and wedged between your mother and your aunt. You mentally cursed your sister for seating you with them because they were going to spend the entire night trying to set you up with someone while simultaneously lamenting that you’d dumped your boyfriend of 4 years just a month earlier. Your mother wanted grandchildren so badly, you didn’t know why she couldn’t just settle to get them from your sister.

“Sweetheart, you and Steve were so good together though! Remember when he surprised you at Christmas with that puppy? I don’t know how you let a man like that go…” Your mom chided.

You grabbed the attention of a passing server and grabbed the champagne off their tray. If you were going to have this conversation again you needed liquid courage to do so. You downed it in three sips and your mom scoffed at you.

“Mom, we've been over this. I didn’t ask him to do that, we agreed we weren’t ready for a dog. Ugh, oh my god, anyways, we just didn’t work together. Sometimes things don’t work out, Mom. You’ll still get grandkids, just not from me.” You patted her on the shoulder but she just pursed her lips and looked past you to your aunt.

You wanted nothing more than to get wasted but you couldn’t do that to your sister. You wouldn’t get blackout drunk, but you were definitely getting drunk tonight. The reception was being held in a hotel and the wedding party had a block of rooms reserved so it’s not like you had to drive. You just had one thing to do before you did that.

The moment you’d been dreading had finally arrived, the toast. You held your freshly topped-off glass of champagne and brought your fork to it to get everyone’s attention. Someone handed you the mic and you hesitated before taking it and nervously cleared your throat.

By what you assumed could only be the grace of God you managed to deliver the perfect toast about finding the right person and soulmates and anything else you might find in a hallmark card with only minor stumbles. Everyone clapped and your brother-in-law wiped a stray tear and everyone finally dug into dinner. You just hoped that would mean your mother would be quiet about Steve for the next 20 minutes and then you could escape to the open bar.

____

You almost made it through dinner scott-free and sat back to watch your sister’s first dance. Just when you thought you were in the clear it was your aunt that threw a wrench in your plans. She was three glasses of wine deep and had that glassy look in her eye when she grabbed your elbow and pulled you closer. She spoke to you in a low voice while trying not to fumble her words.

“Listen kiddo, I know your mom is hard on you about Stevie but she just wants what’s best for you. What you two had… it was so good even I liked him! I don’t like anybody y’know that. So.. so why don’t you jus’ give ‘im another chance, make your mom happy? Couldn’t be that bad, could it? Maybe he’ll even… surprise you”

You mentally blocked out her words halfway through her speech, hoping neither of you would remember it by the end of the night. Right now you just had to get her to stop so you could get away from the table. You didn’t think you could take one more second of being shamed for leaving Steve.

You smiled sweetly and nodded in understanding towards her words.

“I know, Aunt Linda. I know. Sometimes things happen, I love mom but I’ll find someone else.”

With that you patted her on the shoulder and took off in search of the bar.

There were two bars and you wanted to go to the less crowded one. Looking around you had spotted it just past the dancefloor and made a beeline. Weaving through the now open dance floor and escaping the invitations to join your family you finally made it and leaned heavily against the countertop with a sigh.

“Rough night?” Your eyes follow the gruff yet amused voice and find that it belongs to a very handsome man with a defined jaw, clear blue eyes, and long hair that was tied back.

You smiled and rolled your eyes.

“You don’t know that half of it. Nothing like a wedding to remind you how single you are” You joked.

“Ah. Yeah, that’ll do it. That’s rough. You look like you need a drink, what can I get you?”

“Dealer’s choice. Just no vodka.” You requested.

He smirked and nodded, perusing the lines of bottles that were in front of him. He bit his lip as he concentrated on what to make and you tried not to stare. You watched him get to work on your drink and couldn’t help but notice the way you could see his muscles move underneath his dress shirt.

He turned back around and proudly presented you with something fizzy in a highball glass.

“My own concoction, I even used the non-watered down liquor. Just for you” He says with a wink.

You try your best to hide your shy smile and accept the drink.

“Thank you, how sweet of you.” You tell him.

“It’s nothin’. So how’s a gal like you single? If you don’t mind my asking. Seems pretty impossible to me.”

You're caught somewhere between flattery and embarrassment and just hope it doesn't show on your face. You take a long sip of your drink and gear up to answer him.

“Well, I just got out of a 4 year relationship, actually. He’s really sweet but he always had a tendency to steamroll my needs and just do whatever he was going to do. Eventually that shit adds up.” You sigh.

“Like for example - last year we had talked about getting a dog and I said I wasn’t ready, we’re just both way too busy and then on Christmas day he shows up with this puppy! And then I’m the villain for telling him no! The puppy ended up going to a good home but he did stuff like that all the time. It just became too much. Anyways now my mom won’t get off my ass about leaving him.” You shook your head.

“A puppy? Wow, that’s… intense. That’s a lot, I’m sorry. You finish that drink and I’ll pour us both a shot” He laughed.

You nodded in agreement and downed the rest of the cocktail. He held up two shot glasses and extended one to you.

“A toast, to… wait. I don’t even know your name!”

His shoulders shook as he laughed and he answered you.

“I’m James but you can call me Bucky” You made a face at that.

“What kinda name is Bucky?” You asked before giving him your own name.

“Whatever, I’ve got two shots of tequila, you want one or not?” How could you say no?

“A toast,” You continued, “To you and your weird name, Bucky.”

He laughed and you clinked your glasses together, then against the counter before downing them in one go. You tried your best not to make a face and looked up at Bucky to find him extending you the lime chaser, which you took gratefully.

“Hoo… I could use like, 3 more of those to get through tonight. So, how’d you get into bartending?”

“I needed somethin’ to put me through school and I figured this beats stripping. Though, with some of the customers we get sometimes I’m not so sure”

You laughed at that and Bucky went on to tell you anecdotes of all the crazy people he’s had to serve, disastrous weddings, and the time he got a lapdance from the bride herself. You hadn’t even realized how much time had passed but you were enjoying talking to him, forgetting your mission to be drunk.

The two of you kept swapping stories and were getting to know each other a bit more. He let you vent about Steve and just listened, it was refreshing to talk to someone and not be told what it is that you should be wanting. When you pictured the night you didn’t picture yourself confiding in the bartender tonight but if you were honest you were enjoying yourself. It beat awkwardly dancing with your family and enduring more disappointed remarks from your family.

You had hoped you could hide out at the bar and spend the entire night unscathed when the double doors to the ballroom opened. Your heartbeat in your ears as time slowed down around you as a blond head of hair made its way through the archway. Your laughter died in your throat when Baby blue eyes found you across the room and you froze like a deer in headlights. No. Nononononono this isn’t happening.

Time has somehow come to a halt while simultaneously hurtling forward since you can’t get yourself unstuck from this moment yet fail to realize that Steve is now standing right in front of you. His hair is swept back perfectly and he flashes you that million dollar smile of his that shows off his dimples perfectly. You scold yourself for checking him out but damn did he always clean up nice.

“Hey, sweetheart” he says shyly, as if he’s not crashing your sister’s wedding to get with you.

“What…? What are you doing… here?” You ask quietly, trying to avoid a scene.

Before he can answer you your mom comes up behind Steve and squeezes his shoulders tight, all with a big, bright smile on her face. Of course. How did I not see this coming?

“You made it!” She exclaimed as she leaned up to kiss his cheek.

“Of course, sorry to have missed the ceremony but there’s still plenty to celebrate, right?” He asked with his signature boyish smirk.

Shock was still in full effect on your features as you stood stock still. But that shock was soon giving way to anger as you slowly pieced together everything that was happening. Your mom had brought back Steve to try and get you back together and Steve was steamrolling you again.

“I… I, can’t. I can’t-” You started

“Sweetheart, how many of those have you had? You need some water.” Steve motions to the drink in your hand and you feel the anger running through your veins about to take over. You have to move this out of the room. Now.

“Why don’t we move this to the hall?” You suggested quietly.

You didn’t give him a chance to respond before you started moving towards the exit but you did spare one last panicked glance towards Bucky. He looked confused and his brows were quirked in a way that made him look upset, almost. You sent him a pleading look before turning back around and preparing yourself to deal with this shitshow that had slowly unfolded before you.

Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Hold. You got this. Your hand begins to push the door open when Steve’s much larger one covers yours and gets the job done. An action that you once would’ve thought was sweet, one that you would’ve made you swoon, even, is currently pissing you off.

You two made your way to the hallway and you looked around before you started in on him.

“Okay, what the hell, Rogers? Crashing my sister’s wedding? Really?! I don’t give a shit if my mom put you up to this I-”

“Sweetheart, please. She thought you might be having second thoughts and maybe us seeing each other would… patch things up. We just want what’s best for you, sweetheart” Steve attempted to console you, reaching out to try and rub your arm but you pulled back.

“No! I am so sick of you running me over! You never listened to me or what I had to say and this is exactly why I broke up with you, Steve! You’re being so fucki-”

“Hey, babe, everything okay out here?” Bucky’s voice surprised you but not as much as his lips pressing a kiss into your hair and his arms wrapping around your waist.

You had to crane your neck to look back and up at him. It took all of two seconds for you to piece together what you’d hoped was the truth. Bucky raised his eyebrows at you as if to say “come on” and in all your desperation you went with it. You supposed that his formal uniform made him pass for a regular guest.

“I, ah, yeah, yes. Steve here was just leaving, right?” You asked him.

Steve raised his eyebrows in a stunned expression, mouth slightly open in disbelief. His hand reached out towards your shoulder but Bucky pulled you back gently.

“Doll, are you serious? Who even is this guy? Does your mom know about this?”

“No, she doesn’t. It’s… new…” You told him.

“Right,” Bucky cuts in, “It’s new so we weren’t telling anyone just yet but she figured I should at least be here for the reception”

“Seriously?” Steve scoffs, “Man bun? What does he have that I don’t? C’mon, you know what you and I have is real.”

“What you and I have is over, Steve. You never listened to me, always pushed me further than I was ready for. We’re done, it’s over. I’m sorry for whatever Mom told you”

Steve took a harsh breath inwards and you watched him try to decide whether he should walk away or blow up. Based off of the veins popping in his forehead, he was opting to blow up.

“Listen, I don’t know what you’re up to but-”

“She said it’s over, punk. Move along” Bucky cut in. He took a protective step in front of you and pushed his shoulders back, squaring up to Steve. Steve seethed quietly and you two exchanged very tense glances.

“I’m telling your mother about this. I doubt she’ll be happy to hear you brought some random person to your sister’s wedding.” Steve spat.

He walked past the two of you and bumped shoulders harshly with Bucky. Bucky’s jaw tensed and his grip on your waist tightened but he didn’t retaliate. Instead he took a step back to get a proper look at you.

“You okay?”

“Why did you do that? You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but you looked like you could really use the help.”

“Well… thank you. I appreciate it, more than you know. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t there.” You laughed to yourself a little and added, “We’re not even together 5 minutes and you already have all my emotional baggage”

Bucky laughed at that and shook his head.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’ve got some crazy exes too. So what now? You going back in?”

You became a little flustered at that but moved past it with a sheepish grin.

“No,” You shook your head, “I think it’s best for everyone if I just go up to my room and avoid a whole scene.”

“Well at least let me walk you up. I wouldn’t put it past that creep to follow you.”

“What about the bar?”

“We’re overstaffed and the party’s winding down anyways. They’ll get on without me”

“Alright then” You accepted and started off towards the elevators.

You two were standing in the elevator waiting for the doors to close when you spotted the doors to the ballroom open. Your mother was looking around, her face a picture of anger. Lucky for you the doors closed before she could look in your direction and you let out a sigh of relief.

“You know as far as fake boyfriends go I’d say you’re pretty good”

“Just good? C’mon I had that guy on the ropes.”

“Yeah alright,” You relented with a grin.

You exited the elevator car and made your way down the hallway until finally you reached your door. You fished your keycard out of your wallet and turned to Bucky.

“Hey… do you wanna… maybe come in? Hang out? I know you’ve got work but if you’re overstaffed maybe…” You trailed off. There was a beat of silence and you felt regret instantly, thinking you’ve asked too much of him. “Y’know what nevermind, you don’t have to, I’m sorry I-”

“I’d love to hang out with you, if you’re okay with that. Plus it’s probably better I wait to get back until the wedding’s over. Can’t really show my face as your boyfriend and then get back behind the bar, can I?” He said with a soft smile.

“Suppose you’re right,” You swiped the card and cracked open the door.

You stepped inside and felt like you could finally breathe again. You kicked off your heels and went to turn on the lights. You reached back to get the zipper of your dress but couldn’t quite get there.

“Will you get my zipper?” You asked Bucky. He nodded and came closer to you.

You could feel his warmth radiating from him when he was this close. Your nostrils filled with the heady scent of his aftershave. He smells so good. He unzipped you halfway and left the rest for you.

You thanked him and grabbed your change of clothes and headed to the bathroom. Relieved to finally be free of the itchy monstrosity of a bridesmaids dress you sighed and put on a tank top and pair of shorts. You realized the tank top showed a little more of your cleavage than intended but you shrugged it off and exited the bathroom.

Bucky’s eyes landed on you and he took a sharp breath in but tried to play it cool. It half worked, you caught him staring a little bit and giggled to yourself. When you looked at him again he was undoing his tie and the first two buttons of his shirt. Wonder what he’d look like if he unbuttoned just a few more… You stopped yourself in that line of thinking and joined him on the couch.

“I think your phone’s gonna zap itself into an early grave with the way it’s been going off” Bucky said as he pointed to your phone on the table.

You picked it up to find you had several missed calls from your mother, one from Steve, and one very long text message from him that was already inducing a headache. You opened it, forgetting you had read receipts on. Oops. You weren’t going to read this now in front of Bucky, so you shut it off and put it aside.

“So how are you feelin’?” He asked.

“Better now that I’m out that damned dress. As for my family, they'll get over themselves. I don’t know why who I’m dating is such a big deal to them anyways.”

“You do look more comfy now that you’ve changed. If you don’t mind me sayin’ you’re just as gorgeous now as you were all dolled up”

You felt heat flood your cheeks instantly and eked out a thank you. You and Bucky talked for an hour more or so and in that time you’d found yourself nodding off with your head on his chest. On instinct he brought your whole body closer to him and put his arm around you. If you were less sleepy you’d be embarrassed but right now you didn’t care.

Bucky had moved slightly and inadvertently jolted you awake. You shot up and realized that you’d cuddled your way into Bucky’s side and now the embarrassment was catching up with you. You instantly scooted back to give him some space.

“Sorry, I uh, didn’t mean to cuddle you” You said while avoiding his gaze.

You felt a hand on your thigh and finally looked up to find him smirking at you.

“I didn’t mind it. It’s getting late though, I should get back.”

You were slightly disappointed but nodded your head. You rose and followed him to the door. He went for the handle but turned around when you grabbed his hand. He stepped away from the door and was in your personal space. You looked up at him with a shaky breath.

“Thank you, again, for what you did. It was really sweet of you.” He smiled down at you and brought one hand to your face. Oh God, I didn’t prepare for this. Your heart was beating just a little harder as you looked into his clear blue eyes.

“For you? Anytime. I had a really fun time with you tonight.”

“Me too.”

With that his other hand came up to cup your face and he kissed you sweetly. It wasn’t until you kissed him back that he pulled away.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to, I don’t wanna make you uncomf-”

You grabbed him by the shirt collar and brought him in for another kiss. This time more demanding but just as sweet. He let out a small moan and you swear you could’ve melted. His tongue explored your mouth while his hands moved their way down your body and brought you even closer to him. You could feel that he was hard and it only made you want him more.

Without breaking the kiss you started to move backwards towards the bed until finally you were just at the edge of it. You broke apart for air and searched his eyes only to find his pupils blown wide in lust. You cupped him through his pants and he groaned. He was big. Maybe even bigger than Steve.

“We don’t have to do anythin’ you don’t want to do,” He breathed out. You shook your head and kissed him again.

“I want you, I’m sure.” You panted out.

“I don’t have a condom”

“Doesn’ matter, I’m on the pill” You told him. With that his hands were up your tank top and you’d helped him to remove it. He worked on his shirt next and while he fumbled with the buttons you took off the rest of your clothing.

Bucky was every bit as devastating as you’d thought he’d be and you let out a genuine sigh. His toned muscles rippled throughout his arms and torso and you watched him remove his boxers and you’re not entirely sure your jaw hadn’t dropped. He noticed you gawking and chuckled as he leaned down to join you on the bed.

“See somethin’ you like?”

He didn’t give you the chance to answer though, he pushed you backwards onto the bed and kissed you again, this time trailing his kisses all the way down your body. He stopped and took his time to admire each of your breasts, licking and biting your nipples. You’d gasped in surprise and pleasure. He moved his way down finally to your pussy and looked up at you.

“Can I? You could only nod and let out a shaky breath as you sat up on your elbows and watched him get to work. He kissed and caressed your thighs until finally his fingers were prodding at your entrance. He groaned at how wet you were and pushed two fingers in. You let out an obscene moan and your hands went into his locks. His tongue lapped at your clit before he sucked on it, all the while pumping his fingers in and out of you in search of your G-spot.

You’d pulled his hair out of his bun and guided his tongue where he needed to be. Finally getting the right angle you were whimpering in pleasure, back arched almost to a point of pain. He’d finally found the spot he’d been looking for and your eyes shut closed in pleasure.

“Please,” you begged, “Please don’t stop I’m so close”

You pushed his head harder against you and his fingers sped up. It was only a matter of moments until your toes were curling in pleasure and you writhed on the bed in the aftershock of your orgasm. Bucky continued to lap away at you until you pushed him off. He came back up to eye level with you and had a wolfish grin.

“Who knew you’d make such noises? God it was so hot”

You pulled him in for another kiss and reached down to grab his cock. You pumped it a few times before you moved down to return the favor when he stopped you. You looked up at him with brows pinched in concern.

“Don’ worry about me, I just wanna feel you”

He moved you beneath him and you spread your legs apart for him. You were still sensitive in your post-high when his tip brushed your clit but you didn’t mind the bolt of pleasure. He aligned himself with your entrance and looked you in the eye as he pushed all the way inside of you slowly. You let out an involuntary moan, trying to accommodate his full length.

“You good?” He asked.

“I’m good, you’re just...big” He smirked at that.

“Can I move or do you need a second?”

“No, you can move, please move.”

One hand on your hip and the other on your breast he started thrusting in and out of you at a steady pace. You swore you could feel every bump and ridge of him with every inch he put into you. His pace picked up and he kissed the column of your neck, finding the one spot that drove you crazy. Your small mewls turned to full moans and he began fucking you harder.

“‘M not gonna last much longer” He told you. You didn’t say anything in response, just brought him in for another kiss and grabbed a handful of his ass to push him further inside you. He chuckled at that and took the hint.

He was going the hardest he had so far and you were holding on for dear life and loving every minute of it. His panting breaths were heavy in your ears and you reached down to toy with your clit so you’d cum together. His thrusts were getting a little sloppier and your hand moved faster, quickly approaching both your peaks. He let out an almost pornographic moan as he came, He fucked you through his orgasm and not a moment later you came for a second time. Your bodies melded together as you rode out the last waves of each other’s orgasms.

Finally Bucky stopped and held himself with one hand, trying to catch his breath. You were slightly dazed, trying to compute how your night had ended up like this. Bucky rolled over onto the bed and you felt the mess between your thighs. You looked over to him with a hazy smile.

“So, I know we’re doin’ things a little backwards here but, maybe I could take you out some time? If you want?”

Your smile grew even wider and your heart felt so light in this moment.

“I’d like that”

You didn’t know what tomorrow would hold or how to even begin cleaning up the mess with your family. You’d deal with it all in the morning, for now you’d just bask in the afterglow with your fake boyfriend and be grateful for chance meetings.

#missys writing challenge #bucky barnes x reader #bartender!bucky #fake dating #marvel fic #marvel au #marvel x reader #smut #bucky barnes fic #fluff #slight angst

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cowboycakes · 3 years

Text

Do You Get My Letters

✥ Pairing: Levi x fem!Reader, somewhat Reiner x fem!Reader

✥ Themes: Fluff, angst, sadness, big ass plot twist

✥ Warnings: Female bodied reader (she/her pronouns,) Pregnancy and birth (nothing gory.) Mentions of death, violence, and threats. Manipulation.

✥ Synopsis: You are carrying Reiner's baby when he betrays Paradis. Levi decides to step in.

✥ Word Count: 2.2k

(there is a part two up to this fic, but i've decided i'm going to rewrite the ending at some point.)

Anon's Request: Hi! I saw your requests are open so here I want to give my little scenario a try! 🕳🤸🏽‍♀️ I thought abt this last night, I’m currently rewatching AOT after 6 yrs and yet to finish season 4, so sorry if I’m wrong abt timelines/the plot? My request is the reader was with child with Reiner, but b4 reader told him, he betrayed and exposed his mission. Levi stepped in to help reader. And btw, I just finished watching ep 3 of season 4, so maybe Eren telling reiner abt his child and he regrets leaving the reader? And reiner jealous at the fact Levi is most likely considered his child’s father at that point. I can’t come up with an ending, so I’ll leave it up to you if you do take in my request. If this isn’t your type of writing I totally understand!

Note: This story is canon divergent. It is set in season 4, but in a universe where Reiner is not revealed as a traitor/the armored titan until a few months before season 4 takes place, as the reader was having relations with him until then and did not know his secret. I’m sorry if that change bothers you, I just wanted to write this as sort of its own story. This story contains season 4 spoilers! It also has nothing to do with the canon ending of AOT.

---

Dear Reiner,

I hope this letter somehow gets to you, I don’t quite know where to start.

In a perfect world, I would be so happy to tell you this. You’d be ecstatic too, I think. And before you try to second guess me: I’m sure by now, don’t worry.

I’m pregnant.

I guess we weren’t careful enough before you left. I feel like an idiot. And lost. But I’m not hopeless. I know myself, I can make it work somehow. With or without you.

I’m still in shock about you. How could someone so close hide so much? You’re a talented spy I suppose, a great asset to Marley. You made me trust you with my entire life. You made me love every false thing about you. And this is the rude awakening I get in return.

I’ll raise our child to value honesty and kindness, all in spite of you.

Sincerely,

Reader

---

The paper was damp with tears after you lifted your pen for a final time. You wished you could just keep the whole thing a secret: go make a quiet life for yourself somewhere else. It wouldn’t be right. Not after all of the dishonesty that man had spewed to you over the past few years. You had to tell him.

The door to the office room you’d settled in to write the letter creaks open. It’s Levi. He looks at your puffy eyes somberly, sympathetic. He was the first person you had told about the entire situation. Not because you were close, just because you needed help.

You fold your letter and stick it into a sturdy envelope. Levi takes it in his hand.

“That piece of shit doesn’t deserve a thing from you. Not a letter. Certainly not tears,” Levi says, using a clean handkerchief to wipe a stray drop from your cheek, “but I am proud of you.”

You take the handkerchief from him, feeling more tears stream down your face.

“Proud? I’m a fucking idiot,” you say through your sobs.

“Don’t even try to pull that self pity shit with me. Things happen sometimes. And you’re strong enough to commit to getting through it,” he responds.

You stand up, pushing your chair out. You look at him as you dry your face off again.

“I’m alone. How the hell am I supposed to do this shit alone?”

“You are not alone,” Levi replies. You’re shocked when he pulls you into a hug. “I’m going to help.”

You had never seen this side of him before. You look at him as you pull away slowly, tears still welled in your eyes.

“Are you sure? That's a big burden, Levi. None of this has to involve you.”

“Not the biggest burden I’ve ever taken on,” he shrugs. “There’s a lot of death around here, Y/N. Everyone is going to be happy about the little bit of life you’re giving us.”

You chuckle. He’s cynical, but he’s right.

He licks the envelope as he walks toward the door.

“Want me to run you a hot bath or something? Is that the type of shit pregnant people need?” he asks.

You laugh, a little harder than normal. It felt so relieving to laugh.

“Sure, Captain,” you respond softly.

---

Dear Reader,

I received your letter before the battle in Marley. I actually got to hand it to Reiner myself. He knows everything now. He broke down in front of me after reading it, going on about how much he regrets everything. How he wishes he could change things and be there for you. He begged me to kill him right there.

The world will eventually not have suffering like what you are going through now.

Eren Jaeger

---

Your jaw had dropped reading it. He begged me to kill him.

You hand the letter Levi had just delivered back to him. He reads it with a furrowed brow.

“Do you think…” you begin, your voice shaky, “do you think I could send another letter?”

Levi purses his lips, “Possibly. I can ask Jaeger. But right now, you need to bring your blood pressure back down.”

You were over seven months along now. You had found out about your pregnancy late, after being in denial for four whole months. Hange insisted on checking you out after you’d thrown up every morning for a week.

Levi had since gone on a parenting book reading spree; he made you read several of them too. He knew just about everything you needed to do to make a healthy baby: what to eat, what not to eat, how to exercise, when to go to the doctor, etc. It was really sweet how much he cared. You knew it gave him hope, something to fight for, something to come home to.

You were terrified when he left for Marley. You kissed him for the first time when he returned. Just about everyone you knew had to fight. You wished you could be out there fighting with them like you were supposed to. Maybe you could have made a difference.

Levi takes your hand, squeezing it to bring you out of your thoughts.

“What can I do?” he asks.

“Get me a glass of wine,” you grumble.

“Absolutely not.”

---

Dear Reiner,

Reader does not know I’m sending this. So keep it that way, or I’ll kill your sorry ass. Or maybe not, you’d probably enjoy that. In that case I’ll get creative.

How does it feel? Being a fucking deadbeat? Is it everything you’d thought it’d be and more? Fucking her and leaving her with nothing, like she belongs in a whorehouse. Reminds me of what happened to my mother. Pieces of shit like you came in and sent her to her death, leaving her kid behind to starve.

I wasn’t about to let her suffer like my mother did. But you were. I’m glad your choices haunt you, Reiner. You fucking deserve it.

I’ll be there for the both of them from now on, doing everything you were never capable of. She’s due any day now, I’m sure she’ll try to write to you.

Levi

---

You feel your first contraction while napping on the couch with Levi. You were settled in between his legs, your back leaning up against his chest. He had his hands on your stomach; he loved to feel the baby kick and tell them some of the happier stories in his memories.

The two of you had grown so close over the past few months. You slept together every night now. You didn’t want to leave each other’s sides if you didn’t have to. Levi would cuddle and massage you any time your pregnant body was ailing you.

You had fantasized with him about life after the war. He wanted to be a husband, a father, to live peacefully in the countryside. And he wanted more than anything for you to join him.

The first contraction wasn’t painful enough for you to make much more than a grunting noise, but Levi woke up the second he felt your stomach contort a bit. He was on very high alert these days.

“Holy… shit…is that what I think it is?” Levi whispers, “Don’t answer. I’m getting Hange.”

He crawls out from behind you and sprints out of the room.

The pain worsens and becomes much more frequent while he’s out looking for Hange. You stand up eventually after getting the urge to walk around - and your water breaks. You start panicking, unsure of how dilated you were and how much time you had left before pushing. You really wished you’d done more than just skimmed through those birthing books right about now.

Levi and Hange eventually come sprinting back into the room with a wheelchair and cold rags to find you whimpering in pain on the couch, trying your best to control your breathing.

You’re rushed down the halls to the Scout’s infirmary, where Levi had made sure the perfect room was set up for you - and it had been that way for two months.

The next hour goes by in a blur. Hange knew the biology of how to deliver the baby, and Levi knew how to coach you. He helped you hold your legs back when you pushed, and helped you count out your breathing. Hange attended to everything that might have made Levi faint, like checking your dilation and making sure the baby was coming out at the right angle. You got lucky having these two by your side.

Through all of your efforts, you finally hear a cry. You look up to see Levi holding your tiny new baby as Hange wiped them clean. He was smiling, way bigger than you’d ever seen him smile before, with tears in his eyes.

“Here,” he says softly, handing her to you.

You cradle her on your bare skin. “She’s so perfect, Levi! Look how sweet she is!” you coo.

“What are you going to call her?” he asks, stroking your hair as you gleam down at your baby.

“I was thinking,” you smile, “Kuchel.”

Levi lets out small gasp. Tears start streaming down his face, his efforts to stifle them failing.

“Really? I think that’s,” he wipes his eyes, “a wonderful name.”

—-

Dear Reiner,

She’s finally here! Oh my god, she’s precious. Levi and Hange helped to deliver her. Labor went smoothly. Levi started to cry when he saw her for the first time. She really is just that perfect. We are calling her Kuchel, after Levi’s mother. He cried when I told him that, too (don’t tell him I’m sharing those crying details.) I've decided to give her Levi’s last name as well.

Levi set up the perfect nursery for us.

If you really did feel guilty for leaving - don’t be. I’m happy.

She has your eyes.

Sincerely,

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

Kuchel said her first word today. Of course it wasn’t mama, she’s such a daddy’s girl. She started crawling awhile ago, we are now working on standing up on our own. She has all of this blonde curly hair, too. She’s growing up so fast.

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

Levi proposed a few days ago. It was so perfect. We found a nice house with room for a farm that will be perfect for a family.

I can only wonder how you’re doing, now that the war is over.

Are you even alive?

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

I’m expecting again. Levi is beyond excited. I am too, of course. Kuchel started school this year. She is such a smart kid.

I still wonder about you. After all these years.

Reader

—-

Message after message, word after word. No response. You had decided he must be dead. The devastation after the war would argue that he was.

That is, until you found yourself rummaging through one of Levi’s desk drawers, looking for baby Isabel’s lost pacifier.

You felt the bottom of the drawer shift. A false bottom?

You pry at it until it comes open.

Letters.

Dozens of opened letters. With Marleyan postage stamps.

You pull out the first bundle you see. They’re all from you. Unopened. Unsent. You set them aside, your jaw quivering.

You pull out the second bundle and gasp.

—-

Dear Reader,

Eren showed me your letter. I am terribly sorry. Let me fix this, somehow. You can come to live with me in Marley. I will take care of you. Please.

I’m not just a traitor, a liar, a farce. Everything between us was real. I can explain everything. Just trust me.

Love,

Reiner

—

Dear Reader,

Do you get my letters?

I’ve only heard rumors about our new baby girl. I wish I could see her. Just once. For a second. Do you have a camera? I know they’re hard to come by in Paradis. I can send one.

I’d do anything to change this. You know I would.

Love,

Reiner

—-

To Levi,

You son of a bitch. I know exactly what you’re doing. You think this is protecting her, but it’s not. Just let her talk to me. She would listen, she would understand. You said yourself that she writes. You manipulative, sick bastard. That is MY child. She will never be yours. No matter what you brainwash her to believe, your dirty Ackerman blood does not run through her veins. She deserves to know. You are the farce, Levi.

Reiner

—-

There were dozens more. All opened. All from Reiner.

You sink down to the floor, tears spilling from your eyes.

You are the farce, Levi.

But, why? He was just protecting you, right?

The office door opens. You jump, shoving the letters back into the drawer.

“Mommy, why are you crying?” Kuchel asks.

You take a deep breath, staring down at the letters, thinking about everything that could have been.

“Are you happy here, Kuchel?”

“Yes!” she chirps, “Every day!”

“Then it’s nothing, baby. Mommy just got hurt. She’s better now.”

Your daughter giggles and skips out of the room, leaving you to hide away the rest of the letters.

༺♥༻

I REALLY HOPE I understood your request, Anon! I actually had a lot of fun writing this. It isn't something I would normally think to write, but I'm so glad you shared this idea! Sorry for the sad ending, I love playing w people's emotions ;)

༺♥༻

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #levi aot #reiner x reader #reiner braun #reiner x you #levi x you #attack on titan #aot x reader #aot imagines #levi imagine #reiner imagine #snk reiner #snk levi #tw: pregnancy #tw: threats #tw: manipulation #tw: mentions of death

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writtenjewels · 2 years

Video

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On My Way by Jennifer Lopez

He came home to find their closet empty of her clothing. And not just a handful of outfits that would have held her over on a trip to her parents', but everything: every shoe, every dress, every hijab. Salim stared at the empty spaces fighting against the conclusion he couldn't help but reach. But as the day became night and she hadn't come home, he had to face the truth.

It wasn't long before the rest of the village learned of it and started their whispers. He hadn't been a good enough provider, he was a failure as a man and a husband. In his darker moments, Salim believed them. He lit another cigarette and let the nicotine give him a brief sense of pleasure.

He took another hit from the bowl and let it out in a long breath. Jason passed it on to the next person and stretched out on the couch. The lazy ease of the drug was seeping into his bones. It felt so good-- no worries about his pathetic excuse for a bank account or the useless college degree that had been shoved in a box after the latest job rejection. Jason could just drift in his high and feel like he was actually going somewhere.

In the dark of a bedroom he wrung himself to hardness, letting his stoned-out state excuse his lack of interest in the curves and breasts of the naked girl lying waiting. Jason wouldn't have to face how sick and wrong he was for a while longer.

Salim felt the weight of the rifle in his hands. He didn't want to do this; he wanted to be tending the garden in front of his house or helping Zain with his math homework. But when Saddam called you, there was no refusing him. Salim's fluency in the English language had sealed his fate even more.

He lifted the rifle up, lining the sight. He had foolishly hoped he could simply act as an interpreter, but they needed able-bodied men and Salim's determination to get out of every battle alive had unintentionally elevated him to a role of leadership. His captain had gone on about bravery and strength when he awarded Salim the rank of lieutenant.

Salim didn't feel these things; he often felt scared and frustrated and so, so tired of fighting. He kept his finger close to the trigger. He was walking toward the enemy and he didn't trust them to hesitate.

The whir of the tattoo gun made him clench his teeth. His artist assured him that he was almost done. Jason grunted and stared off into the middle distance. He had looked into the requirements for enlisted soldiers and calculated the time it would take the pot to leave his system. It was just enough time for his skin to heal from the tattoo.

Jason entered the recruitment office and they immediately noticed the eagle. Jason could hear them thinking: this guy's a patriot. He's going to ship out and personally kick Saddam's ass. It was high enough on his arm that it would sometimes be covered by his fatigues, but the other recruits would see it in the showers and the barracks. They would know Jason was one of them. And while that was a good start, it wasn't quite enough to just be one of them; Jason had to prove he belonged there by being the best.

Maybe even the best of the best.

The heat of the Iraqi sun beat down on him. Jason held the trembling shepherd at gunpoint, but then the man made a break for it. He automatically lifted his rifle but hesitated. The guy was unarmed, harmless, probably had nothing to do with the weapon silo. Jason lowered his weapon again.

“Fuck, don't anybody speak English anymore?” he complained to himself. Then he felt a shiver along his back that was all-too familiar after two years of war. “You better not miss,” he huffed out.

“No more killing,” a voice answered in accented English. Jason couldn't tell if it was an order or an assurance. Jason slowly turned, hands outstretched, and caught the Iraqi soldier's eyes. They lowered their weapons at the same time.

He stared at Jason wearily. How were they always meeting each other at the end of a barrel?

“Are you alone?” Jason asked him. “Anyone else with you?”

“It all happened too quickly,” Salim responded. “I think it's just you and me.”

“You and me, huh? Well, that's just fuckin' great.” Jason's hands flexed on the rifle barrel. He lowered it just enough. “Truth is, I'm just glad to see a human face.”

“Me too,” Salim agreed. Even if you hate me. “Your friend said,” he began cautiously, “that the enemy of my enemy is a friend. That isn't always true, but if we want to survive we must work together: the sword and the shield.”

“Bit too wordy for my likin',” Jason mused, “but I'm in.” And miraculously, he put his gun away.

He was still shaking from the mad sprint. His eyes skipped over the others as the climbed their way up and felt a blow to his chest when he came out one short.

“Where the fuck is Salim?” he demanded out loud. A radio call answered him, transforming the blow to a hard twist. Salim was still back there in the very depths of the vault. The others argued for leaving him but Jason ignored their words. “You're wrong. Salim's one of us now, and marines don't leave their own behind. You hearin' me, Salim?”

“If I don't make it,” Salim whispered back, “tell my son I did everything I could.”

“Tell him yourself. I'm comin' to get you.” And without looking back once, Jason chose to run back into Hell.

It didn't matter anymore that Salim was on the opposite side of a war, that they were from different countries and cultures and spoke different languages. It only mattered that they were the sword and the shield, and they were either going to get out of this together or not at all.

Salim could see sunlight streaming down and lifted his face up hungrily. Jason turned and held out his hand. Salim took it and allowed the American to pull him up. It caused their faces to draw very close together. Salim knew this face so well even though he'd only seen it for the first time a few hours ago. The dirt and sweat, the brown eyes and gray cap that hid his dark hair, they were things he knew he would never be able to forget.

“We did it, Salim,” Jason said. “Improvise, adapt, and overcome.”

“Oorah,” Salim replied with a faint chuckle. Jason's eyes sparkled and his lips moved into a smile. Salim felt his heart ache.

He hadn't acknowledged these growing feelings for what they were down in the catacombs. There were other things to distract him: the dark, the threat, the need to survive. But the sun was chasing away all the shadows that would have helped him pretend. There was only their teasing that had kept him sane, their talks that had given him a friendly ear, their united fighting that saved his life.

There was only Jason, and he was beautiful.

Turning to reach for Salim had been automatic, as natural as breathing. Holding his hand was comfortable, the rough callous of the man's fingers assuring. Jason found himself drinking in the face he'd gotten to know so well in the dark. It didn't feel wrong to stare. None of this felt wrong, despite the world saying otherwise.

He would've run through a thousand vampires to bring this man with him into the sun. Salim had seen all the ugliness and mess of Jason and hadn't turned away from it. More than that, he made Jason feel safe enough to share that mess. He'd exposed his worst and he couldn't hide from those eyes anymore even if he wanted to.

Jason leaned in a little, feeling Salim's breath on his lips.

“You better not miss,” Salim whispered to him. Jason's eyes fluttered a little and he snorted, remembering that first encounter.

“No more killing,” he returned, and this time he knew he meant it as a promise. Jason closed the rest of the distance between them and kissed Salim.

#jason x salim #jason kolchek x salim othman #jason/salim #salim othman #jason kolchek #jalim #song inspiration #house of ashes

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veenxys · 3 years

Note

hi!! i hope you’re having a great day!! i was curious how the bnha boyfies (( deku, bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, denki, sero, shinsou, tamaki, mirio, shindo, monoma, shiggy, dabi + hawks )) would react if their s/o who is selectively clingy w certain people kinda back off suddenly because they just feel.. embarrassed?? like when they were a kid people reacted negatively to their clinginess and would ignore them for it. and they just feel so dumb to show emotion & showing their clinginess? and they feel like they’re being a bother and being annoying too... & suddenly just feel like closing off from the world lol? & like they can just feel really out of place and get negative thoughts that they don’t belong there, X person or a group of ppl in the convo don’t wanna talk to them etc and feel like they don’t belong in the conversation if that makes sense (i get those thoughts especially when i’m in a group i feel like i get overlooked a lot lol and i’ve never really felt included + like i can just feel so overwhelmed sometimes about the amount pf people / crowds or feeling like i’m being judged bc i’m beating myself up mentally abt my insecurities and i just end up most likely having a panic attack and just like tearing up, either crying on the spot or trying to hold it in till i get home). i’ve been feeling like this recently and i’d love to see what they’d do if that’s possible please!! thank you so much!!

»»————-　★　————-««

a/n: english is not my first language, sorry if I have a mistake!

Hi my angel, sorry but I don't write to Monoma or Shindo :/ and I loved this request because I feel exactly like this, so I did my best to make you feel comfortable. <3

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Bakugou

You are the only person who can break Bakugou's shields and he is very grateful for that, but he also wanted to break your shields.

He knows about your insecurities and he identifies with you, so he tries to learn, so he can teach you.

He always starts with small gestures of affection, to show you that you can be comfortable with him because he will not hurt you, quite the contrary, he just wants to make you safe.

And he could spend hours just feeling your touch, he enjoys every second of it.

When you go somewhere with a lot of people, he always stands by your side holding your hand.

If he sees that you are tense or nervous, he will kiss your temple and pull you somewhere more isolated and will start talking about random things with you to try to make you forget your fear.

Whenever you start talking, all of his attention goes to you, it's like he's mesmerized every time you open your mouth.

Sometimes the two of you are talking as if you are in your own world, forgetting everything around you.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Deku

Deku never misses an opportunity to show you affection, so he will always have a hand on you, stroking your hair, or holding your hand.

He does everything possible and impossible to make you feel comfortable with him, and if you don't, he doesn't give up trying. Because he wants to help you and he wants to show you how much he loves you.

If you are with a lot of people, he always praises you in front of everyone.

"Y / n is the best hero I have ever seen, they are amazing!"

When you start to say something, he just looks at you with shining eyes and a smile on his face, silently saying that all of his attention is on you.

He always has an arm around you, showing you that you are safe with him.

If you are not feeling well, he will understand and will quickly go somewhere calmer with you.

He caresses your face with affection while you say everything you want.

Deku will do anything to make you feel good and safe in his arms.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Kirishima

Kirishima is always the first to show affection, because he wants to show you that he loves you and that you are safe with him.

He knows about your insecurity and your problems, and he is more than ready to help you with that.

If you start showing affection for him and just stop, he'll be sad and have a cute pout on his lips as he snuggles up to you like a child.

‘’ Please continue ’’ he whispers against your neck as he hugs you tight.

If you are somewhere with a lot of people, he will always be on your side, like always.

Just one look from you and he already knows what you need or how you are feeling.

He takes your hand carefully and takes you to a quieter place.

He hugs you and shows you random things from the street to distract you, he makes some silly jokes too.

You are his world, and he will do anything so that you can smile without fear.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Todoroki

Todoroki is not much to show affection, but for you he tries.

He wants to show you that you are safe with him, that you are at home with him.

So it is through small gestures that he does this, but they are gestures so pure and unique that I cannot explain.

Anyway, Todoroki is very quiet so he will not say anything if you show affection to him, but he will complain if you stop.

When you are somewhere with a lot of people, he is always looking at you to see if everything is okay.

If not, he'll take you somewhere quiet so he can talk to you peacefully.

He caresses your face while talking to you, about anything you want.

He tries to distract you by saying silly things about his week.

And just seeing your smile makes Todoroki's day complete.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Denki

Denki shows affection for you 24/7 after he finds out about your insecurity.

He always wants to know if you're feeling comfortable and well, it's literally all the time.

When you show affection for him, he goes crazy because he never wants you to stop, it's like a drug that he got addicted to.

And if you stop showing affection, this drama queen will cry a lot and will only stop when you show affection for him again.

Anyway, if you are somewhere with a lot of people, Denki always tries to distract you from your bad thoughts.

Honestly Denki is professional at making you laugh

But if you want to leave, he will understand perfectly and will go somewhere empty with you.

He kisses you, hugs you and says cute things to you

Like I said, he always wants to make you comfortable and safe because you are his world, and he will never let anything hurt you.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Tamaki

It is very difficult for Tamaki to show affection, but for you he tries anything.

So it starts with small things that you fall in love with more every day.

When you show affection for him for the first time, he melts at your touch.

And through small gestures, he will ask you to continue.

Well, I guess you don't have to worry about going out to places with a lot of people because your boyfriend doesn't like to go out either.

But if you go out, you stay further away from people, isolating yourself in your own little world.

Tamaki always looks to you to make sure you are okay, and if you are sad he will be desperate and will do anything to make you feel good.

Then he will take you home and hug you and caress you as if you are the most precious thing in the world. (because you are, I don't make the rules)

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Shinsou

It would take a while for Shinsou to be able to open up to you, but when he does, he never stops.

He loves to kiss you and say cute things to you

And when he manages to make you comfortable with him, he feels the greatest happiness in his life.

He could spend the rest of his life just feeling your touch.

If you feel uncomfortable with a lot of people, he will talk to you about random things to distract you.

Or else he will take you home and take care of you like a baby.

So get ready to see the best side of Shinsou.

He will show all his love for you in every way possible, he is completely in love with you and that will never change.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Mirio

Mirio is CEO in showing affection for you and making you laugh

Your feelings are his number one priority, so he does everything for you

He shows affection for you 24/7

And he almost cries when he can make you feel comfortable with him

If you are uncomfortable when you are with a lot of people, he will be very worried and will take you somewhere calmer.

He will hug you, tell you random and funny things to cheer you up.

And when you smile at him, he feels his heart melt in your chest, because your smile is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his life, and he will fight until the last second so that you never stop smiling.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Hawks

Hawks are a needy baby so get ready because he will fill you with love.

You are his priority, so he will always ensure that you are well and comfortable

No matter how long it takes, he will do anything to make you feel safe with him.

And when that happens, he is so proud of you (and himself)

And he shows even more affection, so good luck

Anyway, when you go out, he always has a hand on you, whether it's around your shoulder, your waist or holding your hand.

When you feel uncomfortable, he stops everything he is doing and comes to you, wrapping his wings around you while he strokes your cheek.

He takes you home and lets you say whatever you want while he hugs you and caresses your body.

He wraps his wings around you again, making you feel safe in your own little world.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Dabi

Dabi is not the kind of person who shows affection, but after he discovers your insecurity, he will do his best to make you feel loved by him.

He does not say, of course. He prefers to make small gestures that make your heart race

He will never admit it, but the greatest happiness of his life was when he managed to make you feel comfortable with him.

He loves your touch and he could spend eternity just feeling it.

You rarely go out, but when that happens, he always makes sure that you're okay.

He's always looking at you, and just one look from you and he already understands what's going on.

He caresses your cheek and kisses your lips before taking you home.

He hugs you and strokes your back.

He won't talk about what you're feeling because he doesn't want you to remember, so he'll talk about random things from his day, hoping that you feel better in his arms.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Shigaraki

Shigaraki is like you, he wants so much to be able to show affection for you, but he is afraid.

But then he tries, with small gestures that you barely notice at first, but then it becomes something constant between you.

It takes a while for Shigaraki to feel comfortable with you, but when he does, he will be on your side 24/7

And trust me, he will do anything to make you feel comfortable and safe with him. Because you are his home, and he wants it to be yours too.

When you go somewhere with a lot of people, Shigaraki doesn't leave your side for even a second.

If you feel uncomfortable or something, he will go out with you in the same second, taking you somewhere calm and peaceful.

He hugs you, kisses your forehead and strokes your back.

Shigaraki would destroy the world to protect his home.

»»————-　★　————-««

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