#why are they treating this like a genuine dilemma | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lorelune · 5 months

Text

lobotomy commission

|| jing yuan x gn!reader || T || love sick hopefully lovers || wc: 3.9k || ao3 ||

The Xianzhou Alliance has... never allowed lobotomies? Why are you so insistent on receiving one?

(The General, the Divine Foresight.)

minors, antis, and ageless blogs dni

a/n: oh mister general jing yuan you have me so damn heart eyes. here's a lil sweet treat!!!!

CW: fluff, friends to lovers, jing yuan being a bit silly, alcohol consumption, FLUFF, a bit of crack being taken seriously

"Lady Fu, I need to be put down." Your cheek hits the low table. You feel pathetic. It's a Thursday and you're teary-eyed after far too little wine to be in such a state. You sniffle.

"No one is 'putting you down'!" Fu Xuan huffs from the other side, patting your arm. "It's rare that you’re this mopey. What’s troubling you?"

"I am not 'mopey'. I need a lobotomy. Which of the commissions would handle this procedure?"

Lady Fu frowns, clicks her tongue, and sighs your name, “A lobotomy, really?

"Yes, exactly. As soon as possible, preferably.” You down the rest of your cup and restlessly flip your phone screen up.

"This is particularly pathetic. Stop drinking and wallowing and just tell me what's wrong."

"Fu Xuan, you will scold me." You push yourself up on the table and shake your head. "No, actually, you will fire me. You will send me to my office this very instant, force me to pack up my things, and turn in my permissions. I'll be out of a job. Then, I'll be homeless. then—"

"No, nuh-uh, no more dramatics!" Fu Xuan slaps a hand over your mouth. You're glad you’re seated in a private corner of the bar, as this is a rather pathetic display on both of your parts. "Please just tell me, what’s the matter?”

Your dilemma.

"I like the General."

Fu Xuan frowns, expression pinched, and her hand falls heavily onto the table. "That... isn’t exactly new information? Even if it’s a... questionable call of taste, the general is handsome. Occasionally charming when he isn’t being an oaf on purpose. I don’t think having a bit of a crush on the Divine Foresight is anything unusual. Half of the population of the Luofu holds the same opinion.

“Okay, but,” you unlock your phone, a ceramic, cat-shaped charm swinging from the vase as you wobble. “What if the General were to return my feelings? And he invited me for a walk and a meal tomorrow evening?”

Fu Xuan's jaw drops. "You're joking."

"I'm not,” you whine and slide your phone across the table.

...

Divine Foresight 🦁:

Are you free tomorrow evening? I know a terrace that has a splendid view of the overlook near the Cinnabar Eyeline. I would be delighted to take you to it and share a meal after,

Divine Foresight 🦁:

If you'll have me :3c

...

“Oh... wow.” Fu Xuan looks shocked. It’s hard to shock her, but she does tend to avoid divining the destiny of those she is close to (unless entirely necessary.) Her intuition regardless of mathematics and astral geometry is, however, keen. Yet her eyes are wide and she struggles to gather her words. “What a menace.”

“I know.”

“The General is rarely so forward. I’ve never heard of him being so forward.”

“I know.”

“Except, perhaps—”

“With me?” You rub your cheeks. They’re warm from the wine.

“Only you. Though this is particularly... telling. I’m sure it’s sincere.”

“I would agree.” Your stomach flutters, and you swallow the feeling down.

Fu Xuan narrows her eyes and says your name, mouth in a thin line, "You haven't replied."

“And that’s why I need the lobotomy.” You swallow. “I’m going to turn him down.”

“WHAT?!”

You need another drink.

Fu Xuan clearly does not. Her cheeks flush rosy pink as she slaps her hands on the low table. “Why would you reject him? Even if he’s a scoundrel— he is genuine.”

“I know, that’s why I can’t accept his... proposition.”

Despite knowing that Jing Yuan serially denies any potential suitors or daring admirers. You know that it has always been like this— from the time long ago when he first gained rank, to his ‘withered age’ as he self-deprecating refers to himself now. He is always kind about his rejections, you’ve witnessed one or two of them, but he never even entertains the idea of romantic partnership. You’ve never heard him mention it or any desires.

So, for him to so bluntly ask you on a date—

He couldn’t be more clear with his feelings.

“You’re a fool.”

“Now, you’re getting it.�� You pour yourself another glass of plum wine. Your shared bottle is nearly empty. “This is why I need the lobotomy.”

Fu Xuan watches you drink your glass in a single go. Her brows are pinched and her arms are crossed. Her shoulders sag a moment later.

“I do believe I understand your reasoning, and I don’t think it’s lobotomy-worthy.”

“... High praise.”

“[Name].”

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry.” You laugh behind your palm. The world feels sticky and bouncy, all at once. You crave the respite of your own bed. “I can’t accept his proposition in the form of a text. I mean, Lady Fu, he's the most powerful man on the Luofu. He is renowned in all fields of battle, strategic, and social graces. He’s kind. He probably like, kisses babies on Sundays at the markets."

"He does not."

"You never know!" You groan. "That's all to say that I won't accept an invitation to a date with this little effort put into it."

"... Because it's a text?"

"Because it's a text." You nod.

Fu Xuan pauses, then sighs.

“I can’t decide if that makes you a fool or not.” Her hair is frizzing up with the humidity. "Perhaps you have a point, the General is old enough to know and have some decorum when going about these things."

"Maybe he's a virgin? But like, for dating."

"I'd have to check... certain records. Archives. To confirm or deny that."

You wilt, “He probably isn’t. I’m being foolish.”

“No, you’re not.” Fu Xuan smooths a hand over your cheek with a frown.

"Lady Fu," you cry and wish you were at home. In bed. Maybe you should block his number. "You're supposed to say, 'You absolutely are, my most beloved junior, I will schedule your lobotomy and—’"

"No more talk of lobotomies, please."

"Fine, fine." you sigh and finish off your final cup as Lady Fu does as well. "Do you think I'm nuts for turning him down?"

"... No, I don't." Fu Xuan looks shy for a moment. A lot more human than her lofty station implies. "I don't doubt that... Jing Yuan has feelings for you. I see how he looks at you. But he ought to romance you a bit. A text is low effort. You should reply regardless though."

"I'm going to, I just needed some courage. And moral support." You give her a soft smile and tap back into your messages. Fu Xuan practically crawls around the table to your side. She leans her head on your shoulders and her eyes droop. You take a heavy inhale, then exhale, attempt to focus your blurry vision and craft.

...

You:

General, though I'm flatered by your offer, I will need to decline. Though I will ackknowledge what I would imagine (and hope)) to be your genun

You:

geuine

You:

gennuie

You:

genuine

You:

feelings, I cannot accept an invitation in the form of a text message. I must be wooed.

You:

lady Fuu says "if you are capable of such things"

You:

pls don't fire her she's a good boss and so nice

You:

[picture from XX/XX/XXXX @ 2:14 AM]

...

The next morning is hell. Hell. You wished you had undergone your requested lobotomy. It certainly feels like someone has stuck metal rods into your brain, with the migraine pounding the back of your eyes. Maybe a hangover this bad is somewhat equivalent to a lobotomy. Your memory of your night prior is... cloudy, to say the least. Your tongue feels heavy in your mouth as you manage to down a glass of water and a handful of peachy-colored pills. You speed walk to the Divination Commission, shooting Fu Xuan an apologetic “sorry, running late, forgive me 🙏" text.

You mentally pat your drunk self on the back. After you sent your... rejection (ouch) to the General, you muted his messages and deleted the thread. No evidence, no way to feel awkward about it sober. And no way to dwell on it either. Besides, you hardly remember what you said to him after your last glass of wine. It’s hazy in your memory.

It was... perhaps a foolish way to go about things. You certainly could have approached the General and talked about it, but he sometimes spoke in circles about matters of the heart. Maybe... maybe you felt too fragile to dance that dance, if it came to that. Maybe, you were a bit overwhelmed by his invitation. You know all too well that he does not let himself be pursued. He does not pursue others.

You feel blind-sided by the whole thing.

But that doesn’t matter— because you cleanly rejected him and your only repercussion is a hangover that you’re sure Fu Xuan is twinning.

And besides, it’s better that you rejected him. He’s of such a high— highest station. He wouldn’t have time for you, surely. You... have gotten used to your entirely and completely platonic, twice-a-month lunch dates and the occasional star chess lesson (where he never lets you win but you swear you'll give him a run for his money.) But it's fine. You can let go of those things, along with your feelings for the General.

It's better this way.

You think these thoughts somewhat confidently until you arrive at the Divination Commission and find a crowd swarming the central platform under the Matrix of Prescience Ultima. Frowning, you try to weave through the edge of it to your office, where you conveniently have a few nutrition shakes stashed away that you most certainly need. You’re already late and this hangover needs to go. You have a full docket for the day that you need to make fuller so you don’t think about—

You nearly stumble when you hear a rich, familiar, roll of laughter. You freeze, slowly turning to the sound. A crown of fluffy hair peaks above the small crowd, a red ribbon waving in the breeze.

Absolutely fucking not.

You duck, just in case, and try to creep below the crowd. You probably look ridiculous, but you absolutely cannot see Jing Yuan. You can’t. Your poorly-thought out, hungover plan of not caring about the General does somewhat heavily rely on not seeing the man. You trip over over your own feet and barely catch yourself so as to not tumble to the ground.

Jing Yuan calls your name and

You freeze before jolting to your full height a moment later. The gaggle of your coworkers part enough so that you’re able to see him— lit so well and handsomely in the morning sun, smiling so easily with... perhaps a hint of mischief in the curve of his lips.

He waves with his free hand, while a massive bouquet is pillowed in the crook of his arm.

The flowers are beautiful— off-ship exotics, clearly. The colors are all bright oranges and vibrant blues. Thinner stems are topped with bundles of white, delicate flowers that break the barrage of colors. They look fresh, like they’d been cut this morning. Fu Xuan stands next to him, clearly hungover herself and close to popping a blood vessel. It’s incredibly rare that the General do anything in the mornings, especially causing a commotion in the Divination Commission.

Jing Yuan, who is more than likely aware of this, looks entirely unbothered. Actually, he glows as he calls your name, gentle and rich, and the sound of it hits you in the chest, “There you are.”

"Here I am." You're not. You need that lobotomy. You nod to him curtly, "General. Is there something I can help you with today?"

Fu Xuan looks like she’s going to expire right there on the platform.

Jing Yuan cocks his head knowingly, “There is, yes. I have a rather personal matter to discuss in private with you. Are you available?”

You have things on your schedule. You can make yourself appear busy, if it means not dealing with the General you can’t really hide from and the beautiful bouquet in his arms. “Well—”

“They’re free.” Fu Xuan all but pushes you toward him. You regret covering her tab the night before. “Especially free, since I’ll be rescheduling our weekly meeting to tomorrow.”

“Is that really necessary—?” You laugh and wring your hands. You feel caught in the worst way. “General, will this personal discussion take much time? I am quite busy today—”

Jing Yuan, who has been watching your exchange with Fu Xuan wordlessly, looks a bit... crestfallen. It’s hard to tell on a man who holds himself like the General, but it’s there. A crease between his brows that’s slight, but visible and abnormal. Maybe he’s holding the bouquet a little tighter than he probably thought. There’s a sheen of sweat on his temple that, if asked, he would probably blame on the heat index for the day.

Your words die in your throat as you take him in and force yourself to meet his gaze. Honeyed and sad, a bit like a kicked dog.

“... I suppose, I could arrange a proper appointment with you. Perhaps it was uncouth of me to expect such accommodations to be made for me last minute. I apologize.” You can hear his tone change. It may be imperceptible to someone else, but you notice the shift in him. Gone is the playful lilt and air of mischief, on his a veneer of niceties that you... had forgotten he loses around you.

Something in your chest aches.

You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Floundering. Jing Yuan adjusts his hold on the bouquet—

“Enough of this.” Lady Fu shakes her head. She shoos a hand toward the lingering onlookers. “Back to work, now. Don’t eavesdrop either. I’ll know if you do.”

(Debatable, but it’s Fu Xuan’s favorite threat.)

Once the crowd has dispersed, she turns toward you too. You needed that lobotomy, like, yesterday.

“I will make the necessary changes to your schedule so you can speak privately for as long as you need." She points at you, then Jing Yuan. “Sort this.”

The General raises an eyebrow at her. She’s bold to speak in such a way to someone above her own station, but Lady Fu doesn't dare back down. She glares at him, then you, partially covering her mouth to block Jing Yuan’s view before mouthing, “FIX THIS!!!!”

...

On the way to your office, you walk side by side, in silence. You’re trying to think of the right words to say.

“... Are you sure you have time for this, General?” You ask him, softly. “I don’t mean to ask as a slight— just— I don’t want to inconvenience you is all.”

“Of course.” He replies easily. You turn down the long, quiet corridor that leads to your office. It’s tucked away in a corner of the divination Commission, facing outward toward the Arbor’s stump with tall windows providing a sunlit view. You’re glad you don’t have to look at him as you unlock the door with a thick-looking key. “This is a rather pertinent, time-sensitive matter we’re discussing. My own schedule is not consequential in this case. Haste, moreso.”

You laugh under your breath.

“Great Lan, Qingzu is going to kill me.” You sigh before pushing the door open with a shake of your head. Perhaps a smile curls on your lips. Who’s to say. “Did you at least not leave a pile of paperwork for her to delegate in your stead?”

“And what, diminish the time I have for my afternoon nap with busy work?” Jing Yuan laughs. The sound fills you from the bottom up and you want to choke on it. You tear your gaze away from him. “Such a thing would be unhealthy, you know. I’m an old man.”

“An old man who needs an ample amount of beauty sleep.” You tease him, it’s easy to. You speak before you even have a chance to think about the warm nature of your words. The meaning behind the bouquet in his arms that he still hasn’t given to you.

Why Jing Yuan is in your office at all.

“... If this is about my texts my last night—”

“It is, partially.” Jing Yuan hums. “I’m afraid I’ve slighted you, and it’s of the utmost importance I correct my transgression.”

“That’s— That’s not necessary, General.” Your cheeks burn.

“It is. Entirely, in fact. Stating my intentions with you over text messages was... a poor choice on my part. I must apologize appropriately, don’t you think?

“I mean— that’s—” Your words flounder in your mouth. “Kind of you.”

It is kind of him. He certainly doesn’t need to be here, in your cramped office, with a bouquet that costs close to what you make in a day of work. He doesn’t need to be showing a sincere, lovesick smile as he speaks. He’s showing you a card he’s kept close to his chest. One you, perhaps, guessed he had, but hadn’t intended to ever see.

He presents you with the bouquet, “You said you must be wooed, and I am here to begin that process explicitly.”

"... I said what?" You’re going to burst into flames.

“I thought you may not recall your exact words. Did you and Lady Fu have a fun night together?” Jing Yuan chuckles, and you flush so hot you feel almost faint. “You said that I must, and I quote, ‘woo you’.”

He smiles at you, the glint in his eye a bit more mischievous. More knowing. He’s toying with you.

“I— no— I’m so sorry, General.” You cover your face with your hands and back into your desk. “Forget I said that. Please forget I said anything.”

“Please, use my name.” He corrects, gently. “I’d prefer not to forget. You have a point, I should have stated my intentions clearly and to you in person.”

You peek at him between your fingers. He still holds the bouquet out to you, like he’s trying to lure a cagey cat in for a pet rather than make a confession. You feel out of sorts. Off kilter. That said— it is nice to hear him in person. Your heart has been oscillating between fluttering and pounding.

Jing Yuan tilts his head sweetly at you. You take the bouquet from him and examine it closer. There’s yellow and lilac pollen dusted on the filaments, fresh and fragrant.

“Jing Yuan, then.” You reply to him, softly. It’s hardly the first time you’ve called him by his name, rather than a title, but he preens when you speak regardless. “... So, you intend to woo me then?”

“Entirely.” Jing Yuan hums to himself, looking quite proud. “I do fully recant my offer I sent previously. Though I would be happy to lounge with you in the terraces and see some lovely views, I’ve secured a reservation for this evening at a lovely restaurant in the Exalting Sanctum, if you would accompany me.”

Your stomach flips pleasantly. You can’t help the little smile that’s twitching over your lips. You take care to not crush the bouquet in your arms, despite the urge to squeeze it to your chest, just to tamp down the thumping of your heart. Stroking your thumb over the silken petal of lush, round-petaled bloom, you let yourself smile.

You can practically hear Jing Yuan holding his breath. His eyes look hopeful and young.

“I accept,” you reply. “Consider me wooed.”

“It was that easy?” Jing Yuan’s voice takes that air of smugness that you know is a farce but you still can’t help but to approach him and bat your hands at his chest.

“I already like you, you know,” You laugh. “I was more offended that you wouldn’t face me and tell me your intentions. I hardly know the General to be a coward. I was a bit slighted.”

Jing Yuan catches your wrists in one of his hands and gently holds them against your sternum. His fingers lay over the thump of your heart; you wonder if he can feel it. You feel pleasantly woozy when you meet his eyes and all their intensity. Intention.

“I apologize.” He speaks smoothly, easily. Perhaps ducking his head down to be closer to your own. “It’s quite difficult to proposition someone so beautiful and kind.”

“Ah, so the General was hiding behind a screen, then?” You laugh over the heat rising in your cheeks. “I’ve never known you to be a coward.”

Jing Yuan hums, and you pop up on the corner of your desk. He’s close enough to feel the heat of him, and see the threading of his uniform and the glitter woven into the rich fabrics.

“Hm, I wouldn’t say it has anything to do with cowardice.” Jing Yuan shakes his head. His breath is warm over your cheeks. “I planned to tell you my intentions of courting you at the Terraces, once you accepted. I, perhaps, was too presumptuous in expecting you to assume beyond my initial ask. I should have been more clear.”

You stifle a laugh and flex your hands, still held in his firm, but kind grip.

“Jing Yuan, if you continue to speak to me so directly, I’ll demand you take me out now and not this evening.”

“Is that so?”

“Entirely.” You struggle to maintain eye contact and not let your gaze drift down to his lips. “I’m not used to you speaking so clearly, only your riddles.”

“What riddles?” He tilts his head, curly, a sweet smile on his face that is far too mischievous for who he is expected to be.

“Oh, you know—”

“Do I?” Jing Yuan asks. He steps between your thighs, the width of him forcing your legs wider. As if your flush could be any more intense. “You must tell me more over lunch. I’ll send a message to Lady Fu and clear your schedule?”

“... She did say to take as long as we need to sort this,” You soften, a bit intimated, if only for a moment. “Is this sorted?”

Jing Yuan hums, “You did say you were wooed. I’d consider that fairly sorted.”

“And you’ll have me?” You ask him, daring to slide your arms over his shoulders. The contact bubbles up months of tension over Star Chess boards (during games that, perhaps, were not entirely platonic).

“I’d be honored.” Jing Yuan’s voice sounds sweet, more quiet than you’ve heard before, like it’s just for you to hear.

There’s an edge to it all still— something raw and new that will need to be tempered. That is the nature of immortality and the relationships and partnerships that come with it. Complexes develop, heal, and grow differently within the self. You’ve already gamed out a few of Jing Yuan’s (a cursed Master who he will only reference in melancholy, unrequited love he was too young for, so many tragedies that he somehow manages to give himself for not preventing). He is perceptive. You’re sure he has put together some of yours as well.

For now, there’s a promise of good things. There’s the feel of him pressing his lips to yours, gentle but unyielding, strung with a mutual yearning that, in retrospect, would’ve been a shame to crush and hide away. There’s the warmth of him so close, and closer still when you drag him closer by the nape of his neck.

You can feel his grin against your lips, and you mirror it easily.

No riddles, only a fragrant bouquet and intention.

#lore writes #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #jing yuan reader insert #hsr x reader #im very in love with him #he is so husband #feeling very soft and yearning about him lately AAAAH #enjoy :''^)

610 notes · View notes

subtract-me-from-your-heart · 1 year

Text

I like the show version of Chishiya, and here’s why.

I love manga!Chishiya, but he always felt pretty one-dimensional to me. His backstory is one of parental neglect, similar to Arisu. Chishiya basically fails to develop a sense of empathy (unlike Arisu, who just has ye olde Main Character Syndrome). He decides to enter med school because he thinks that a profession where he saves lives might actually help him grow a Give-a-Shitter. Spoiler: it doesn’t.

Manga!Chishiya is an emotional flat line. He doesn’t care about other characters because he can’t. I remember thinking that he had a lot of the same traits as a serial killer. He viewed the world through nothing but intellect, and other people were either nonexistent or pawns to be used to further his own ends. Even the idea that maybe being responsible for the lives of others will help him grow some empathy is a chilling one.

That’s cool. I actually really like those kinds of characters. I also think there are enough characters like that in the story. Characters who you look at and think, “Okay, yes, you are terrible.” The big problem is that it makes his weird self-sacrifice with Usagi absolutely senseless. Like, it came out of nowhere. There wasn't any sort of satisfying build-up where I felt like, "Okay, yeah, this makes sense."

His updated backstory adds a dimension that wasn’t present in the manga version. Rather than simply lacking empathy for other people, you can actually see the moment in which he makes the conscious decision to turn it off. He has this light bulb moment where he realizes that the world is a cruel and unfair place. He realizes that allowing himself to feel for other people is only going to hurt him in the end because he’s powerless to change the systems that are actively harming them. It's better to protect himself and survive.

Chishiya is a selfish character, but the idea that his selfishness stems out of a desire to protect himself from pain gives his character some actual depth that was always missing for me. It also makes the King of Diamonds game a lot more meaningful. Kuzuryu went through the same exact thing, but instead of turning off his feelings, he paralyzed himself with a moral dilemma. Where Chishiya chose to treat all human life as equally worthless, Kuzuryu couldn’t stop looking for some value to assign, whether that was to ease his conscience or to inform a sense of justice he was desperately trying to find.

I really, really like how that dichotomy played out.

I also think it's interesting that Chishiya feels a lot more psychological in the show. He's clearly highly intelligent in both the manga and the show, and maybe it's just Murakami's performance, but there's something more sinister to him. He's clearly developed some sort of friendly relationship with Kuina. He displays an ability to be playful and seems to genuinely be extending an offer of friendship to Arisu (up until he sells him out for one corn chip). Seeing how he can make these connections that feel genuine to the people involved (unlike his manga self who is pretty universally despised) and still be willing to fuck those people over for his own survival makes him feel a lot more menacing to me.

This ability to flawlessly manipulate and betray also means he has a deep understanding of human emotion, which is illogical by nature. In the manga, Chishiya says outright that he isn't suited for Hearts games, but show!Chishiya feels tailor-made for them.

It's also interesting that in the manga, he seems to get harsher and more isolated. By contrast, in the show, he feels to me like he softens episode by episode. It really struck me in the Jack of Hearts game when he said something about his partner dying because he was too kind. On the surface, you could take it as a typical judgy Chishiya comment, but there actually appeared to be a glimmer of sadness, or envy, or regret. Or all of the above. Or maybe it's just Murakami Nijiro's face that made me think that. Either way, I think it was smart of the showrunners to throw him in that game.

In the end, the King of Diamonds game pushes him to the realization that he really is envious of people who have the ability to be kind. He's envious of people who can make the selfless choice. And it's not because he can't be. It's because he's closed himself off to the vulnerability that allows a person to make that kind of decision. You can't truly save others if you're always protecting yourself.

So, he saves Usagi to try to become that person. And I don't feel it was out of character at all.

#alice in borderland #sky in the borderland #chishiya shuntaro #you all can take this with a grain of salt #i spend too much time thinking about him lmfao

1K notes · View notes

queer-whatchamacallit · 8 months

Text

So I decided I was going to rewatch The Bear and take notes, partly bc autism and partly bc I want more interesting details for fics and just to get to know the characters even better

(Also, I’ve been curious about what makes Carmy blow up vs what makes him dissociate)

So here’s some things I noticed that you could also pick apart like I have here

Carmy has his apron on in the dream, maybe it’s just because that’s what he’s been wearing pretty much all the time for the past couple weeks or because his work is so tied with his family (w/ bears as symbolism for that) but idk

Him waking up on a random counter in The Beef confirms my headcanon that he falls asleep in weird places OR he fell asleep in the office and sleepwalked there

In this ep, any imagery or mention of Michael is pretty much always tied to religious imagery

Carmy calls her Sugar and him Mike, I’m always inclined to have him say Mikey instead but I don’t think he ever does. Also, Fak calls Carm Bear :]

“What’s UPS?” Is the first in a long string of times where someone tries to talk about something other than the kitchen, and it just doesn’t click with Carm

Syd’s “I know who you are” and Carmy’s “Yeah?” and he just listens to her completely riveted is so funny to me. Tell this man you know he was the CDC at one of the best restaurants in the United States of America and it’s like saying “walk” to a dog

Carm’s “I’m saying something >:[,” starts the classic Berzatto dilemma of no one listening to each other but wanting to be listened to

Reminder that Syd can speak Spanish :D

Richie talks about their “Italian heritage” and later says abt the labels “this is the most Polish shit ever,” which show how close he fits in with the Berzattos and his dislike of his bio family (Jerimovich is Polish right.?)

Richie talks about putting his family back together and him not coming home, and Carmy instantly dissociates

Him asking “Why didn’t he leave it to you then?” Not like a comeback, but a genuine question gets me every time

Carmy’s not good with words, so while this is something that just makes fun dialogue, in universe, it’s interesting to see how often his responses are parroted (ex: Marcus’ “that shit was straight up fire” and Carm’s “Straight up done now Chef”)

When it’s work time, it’s work time. When Fak stops looking at Ballbreaker to mention that he wasn’t able to go to the funeral but he sent flowers, Carm just says he wasn’t there either and swiftly changes the subject back to work

The three siblings and Richie all have gold necklaces. When Sugar shows up, I don’t know if hers was one of the matching ones, and I couldn’t figure out what the charm was on it

Tina says “Why doesn’t your sister come around here anymore?” Implying that she used to. I also feel like T wouldn’t have asked if Sugar stopped coming when she moved out and didn’t have to do what her mom told her to. Maybe Mikey kicked Sugar out of the restaurant too, but she wasn’t too bothered by it

Unlike with Richie, when Nat calls him out on not saying hello, just trying to get work done, he listens, and he slows down. Richie feels like his space in the family is shaky, so he’ll take a lot more shit from them while Nat won’t. She inherited a temper, just like her brothers, I feel like she’s in therapy and likely tackled how to stand up for herself when her family was treating her like shit, and she’s the “normal” middle child between a loud older brother and a worrying little brother, so she probably had to fight for her family’s attention at every turn

Nat mentions their mom and Carm’s eye contact instantly breaks, and it seems like he has to remind himself to breathe

His stutter shows up when arguing that he doesn’t want Jimmy to buy it

Carm’s “I’m gonna fix this place” vs Sug’s “No one’s asking you to” just hits so hard for some reason

When Carm tries to flee back inside, she uses “I love you,” like it’s an argument to keep him from throwing himself back into the restaurant or as a reminder that there’s people out there who want him to be doing well when she thinks the restaurant is hurting him

Sweeps is more of a background character but omg he just quietly looks out for everyone :] (he made sure Syd got to try Carm’s beef recipe :]]]])

Fak was also close with Mikey. I don’t know why I imagine Fak as being not quite as close with everyone as Richie, but they came to Christmas too, edit: Fak’s “but it got fuckin dark at the end” showed that he too knew something was up when Carm didn’t

Carm very much gives off the vibe of being allergic to cats, but I’m going to ignore that and squeeze in my headcanon that he loves Fak’s cats, Ralph and they love him

Richie’s dialogue is such a fun juxtaposition of him trying to feel superior to whoever he’s arguing with with large vocabulary and overconfidence but often falling back into vulgar insults because that’s what he knows best. Also, later in the ep he talks about “up in Napa” with the foie gras and shit to mock Carmy, but Napa isn’t up from them, it’s in California

Richie says “You have no fuckin idea what you’re doing here” and it’s like a switch, Carmy’s comebacks and annoyance with Richie stop, and he’s completely dissociated again. Richie shoves cans of spaghetti sauce into his arms and slaps at his face to steady him because he can probably tell something’s not right with him, but he just ends up leaving him to it

One of the Berzattos main love languages is physical touch via back and shoulder pats

And finally, Carm tosses the can of spaghetti sauce which I’m saying is because he just needs them to fucking listen and trust him when he’s saying no more spaghetti but there’s probably also some kind of Michael significance there too

Edit: I think I just had the realization that family stuff is what makes him dissociate while work stuff tends to make him panic and snap at people. It makes sense, snapping at his family would only escalate things and dissociating separates him from something he’s expected to fix. And Claire is kinda off in her category but falls under the panic response

So yeah!!

That’s pretty much what I got from 1x01 - System

I don’t know when or if I’ll do more of these, but this was so much fun, literally love dissecting these sad little goobers

68 notes · View notes

beevean · 3 months

Note

I find it very interesting (A.K.A. annoying) how the idw comic tries defending this whole "sonic never kills" nonsense by bringing up every bad person who's turned around. But they also blatantly ignore all the times Sonic did kill or was fine with letting someone die

Dark gaia

Time eater

King Arthur

Solaris

Erazor Djinn (eternal damnation)

Ifrit

Captain behemoth

Bio Lizard

Explicitly tells Infinite he's going to kill him

The Ifrit (the one from Sonic rivals 2)

Captain whisker

Black Doom (Shadow was the one who finished him off, but the point is Sonic has no problem with other people killing either)

The idw comic's writing only barely functions if you blatantly ignore everything outside of it, and even then, it's still extremely iffy.

Secret Rings is canon to IDW, btw. Sonic had a flashback to the events of that game in #16.

"Everyone deserves a chance to be free, even the evil doctors," Sonic says after he yeeted Erazor Djinn in lava :)

Also yeah, some of these are creatures whose level of sapience is questionable... but not all of them. Solaris never speaks in his full form, but Mephiles is explicitly his mind, so we know that he's a cunning, sadistic deity. Sonic slashed King Arthur fully believing he was a real person, and he did act like one. Also Sonic is the very first person Shadow meets in his game, and the very first thing he asks of him is to kill all the aliens in Westopolis, with the goal ofc of reaching the "big boss" if you go through the Pure Hero route. Again, the sapience of the Black Arms is questionable, but those are still living creatures who might as well be slaves for all he knows. Doesn't care! He'll kill them all!

Sonic doesn't have a rule when it comes to his enemies: he's not a pacifist, he's not the Punisher. He either listens to them, or cuts to the chase: it depends on how unrepentant they come across. The very idea of him having a "principle" about it is ridiculous. Sonic doesn't have principles, he doesn't follow rules, he does what he wants to do.

I get the moral dilemma around Mr. Tinker: he's a blank slate genuinely willing to do good, so does he deserve to be punished for crimes he didn't commit? I don't know why Flynn felt the need to insert such a moral dilemma in a book that he himself has said is for kids and thus can't properly explore the concept of identity and sins, but whatever.

Problem is that, somewhere along the line, they started to treat him not as a brain damaged version of Eggman who might as well be a different person, but as "Eggman reformed", which is insane and even creepy from Sonic. It's just absurd that IDW Sonic based his entire moral code, that everyone has the chance to become a better person, after he witnessed his war criminal of an archnemesis simply getting brain damage, and somehow thinking that this amnesiac personality reflected Eggman's real ego. What the fuck.

Oh, and then this ridiculous shit lmao:

Not only Sonic would never play villain apology for Eggman of all people, but those examples are nothing but proof of how selfish Eggman is. He never cared about protecting the planet because of some hidden depths. My man spells his reasoning out very clearly:

But now Sonic passes off those strained alliances as some good deeds and proof that Eggman is not so bad after all. "Grade-A jerk", huh? Is that how you describe the guy who broke the planet into pieces and was willing to destroy the spacetime continuum for the sake of killing you? What's next, is Black Doom with his plans of turning humanity into cattle "a big meanie"? Why are you trying so hard, man?

Ah, and then he has to resort to guilt tripping Shadow about his own "crimes" (read: being forced to follow Gerald's programming) to get his way :) piece of shit who pretends to be morally superior when in reality he's just an awful person.

#fans don't look #man this writing #it's so bad #btw unrelated but i want to be a bitch #i re-read 5 looking for some pages and jesus the level of forced references in early idw #'mr. tinker is a good man? but eggman is dangerous! hey remember the egg viper?'#bro i do remember the egg viper stop dangling it in front of me to pretend you're a fan like me

32 notes · View notes

thatgirl4815 · 8 months

Text

Intimacy (Ep3)

Ok, continuing this series again in Ep3 because I think it’s interesting to look at how sex is wielded in each episode both as a weapon and as a way of bringing the couples closer. Starting off…

RaySand

I must say, Ray and Sand do a remarkable job of discussing the boundaries of their relationship, even if they do not entirely hold to them. The scene in the kitchen highlights their shared views on separating love and lust, even whilst acknowledging the very thin line between them. This episode proves that, to put it plainly, RaySand’s one-night stand has posed a massive threat to their “only friends” agenda.

For Ray, it couldn’t be more obvious, though he doesn’t seem to realize how deeply it’s affecting him (or if he does realize it, he’s elected to ignore it). We see him calling their night together “priceless,” inviting Sand to perform at the pool party, openly flirting, gazing lustfully during the entirety of said pool party, and—my personal favorite—the puppy dog eyes.

Sand’s dilemma is especially compelling, because we see him in the early combat stages with this delicate love-v-lust divide. He brushes the sex aside like it’s nothing, though we can infer from the scene in the car that he cherished their hookup just as much as Ray did…if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be so willing to break his own rule not to have sex with his friends more than once. Sand seems okay with pushing the boundaries of a FWB relationship so long as they have openly communicated those boundaries (i.e., “Even if we sleep together again, it still means nothing.”). Ray is more than willing to accept whatever Sand’s explanations are with seemingly little regard for the consequences.

What we see just before Sand leaves is a moment of clarity; I think he recognizes his own disappointment, and that scares him a little…why should he be feeling sad about Ray leaving him? Like he says, Ray owes him nothing. Hell, if Ray hadn’t pushed, they likely wouldn’t have ventured to have sex again (though I suppose that’s debatable). In a way, I imagine Sand is glad he hasn’t had a chance to dig himself further into this emotional hole.

Similar to BostonNick, the line between love and lust is treated very differently between these two characters—it’s the difference between the purely physical and emotional aspects of sex.

BostonNick

Nick is fighting his own battle with Boston that is communicated largely through facial expression alone. It reminds me of what First once said about Sand’s character having to deal with his own emotions by himself—we see that here as Nick is constantly left to question what Boston thinks of him.

What strikes me here is Boston telling Nick that he can define their relationship however he wants; it suggests a certain smugness and dismissiveness. Compared to RaySand, who label their relationship together, BostonNick is extremely one-sided.

Boston manages to give Nick JUST enough to convince him that there’s something between them. Boston seems to care about Nick’s own pleasure during sex to a certain extent, not just his own, but how much of that is what Nick wants to believe?

For Boston, Nick is like a plaything. Vaguely interesting to talk to, helpful, and entertaining. A distraction from Top, yes, but more that, he’s validation for Boston. Boston clearly takes a lot of pride from his sex life, and though no one knows about it, I believe he gets personal satisfaction at the thought of having Nick wrapped around his finger.

For Nick, sex with Boston is directly intertwined with his feelings, because that’s just who Nick is. His ego isn’t involved in his sex life the same way Boston’s is. His emotions are genuine, and it’s unfortunate that they have to be tethered to Boston because of the small amount of hope Boston has given him.

TopMew

TopMew’s relationship with intimacy this episode has everything to do with Boston. Boston let’s his ego drive him. Sex with Top has interesting implications for both of them.

For Boston, it is an ego boost, proof that he can nail down whoever he wants—even someone as “top tier” as Top.

For Top, I suspect it is a blend of a few things. 1) Hurt over Mew’s supposed betrayal (which he really should be questioning more, but whatever) and 2) payback for that “betrayal” using the one thing Mew has been holding against him this whole time: sex. Boston even encourages it to suit Top’s own personal interests—in this case, revenge. Sex is a weapon for Top, or so Boston wants him to think, and his and Boston’s motives for it are wildly different. If only Top could see that he’s being manipulated into sex, giving Boston all the power. (I don’t think it’s any coincidence that we see Boston taking full control during this sex scene.)

~ X ~

Looking forward to seeing how the intimacy dynamics change in the next ep, especially with what we’ll learn about Ray and Mew’s relationship. I expect the lines will become much more blurry for RaySand, and Sand will fall off the cliff he’s been clinging onto since their hookup. Nick will probably spiral and look for ways to use Boston’s recording against him, and Top will take out his anger over Mew on Ray and, by extension, Sand? We’ll see.

91 notes · View notes

sylvieserene · 2 months

Text

Why are people so defendent of Tom Taylor (DC)? Like people on reddit subs treat him as some sort of Saint incapable of flaws and with top notch flawless writing....I'm actually baffled that people defend actual valid criticism of his Nightwing run with "You are just a chronic hater" , "DickBabs hater" , "Toxic DickKory fan" , some even accusing that you're a LGBTQ+/Liberal thoughts hater 💀

Like guys....he's not a God. He is just a human calm down....

I have never really made a post about him specifically since I like to keep my blog positive but um what's wrong with the fan base??

I recently made a post on reddit discussing the "Wisely and Ethically invested money" Alfred's letter scene of the Nightwing (2016) run by Taylor and ppl are actually telling me I'm the problem since these details don't matter and that I'm an idiot for looking into it? (Some of them don't even clarify why and make pretty bad comparisons/points) Like uh what

You are telling me Dick Grayson , the same guy who turned down a whole rich funding from a shady guy at one point wouldn't care on how Alfred somehow managed to have more money than Bruce Wayne ???? And the only explanation we get is that it was invested WISELY & ETHICALLY?!

Like bro depending on the continuity, Alfred has killed people in his run as a spy in England, he is not too innocent and his definition of morals and ethics can differ ALOT from us.

If TT did act on it other than the bland/low stake stuff he's been doing, we could have had a pretty good stake in the game since that money would matter quite a lot (its too relevant to the plot) and would put Dick into a dilemma on if he should use it or not incase he found out its origins...It would have actually led to Character development...

Like what's wrong in pointing out bad writing? You have to show or atleast show implications for things not just spell it out.... just saying "Character A did good things" isn't enough. You need to show what good things Character A did.

Im genuinely curious as to what exactly is this fan base...and what's wrong with it since....how is this question even dumb?

For people curious on the post, here's the link to it. Feel free to read and share your opinions!

#tom taylor nightwing #nightwing comics #nightwing #dc #dc comics #tom taylor #tom taylor dc #tom taylor is a shit writer #anti tom taylor #ig?#seriously though whats wrong with this fan base #why arent we allowed to even question the comic run?#nightwing (2016)#nightwing 2016 #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #Bludhaven #Taylor is NOT flawless

24 notes · View notes

bluemoonhoon · 4 months

Text

santa doesn’t know you like I do

jake sim x fem reader mini series smau

previous- masterlist - next

NINE

Jake didn’t remember the moment he fell in love with yn ln, which was weird because sim jaeyun was always a boy with a good memory; He remembered seeing 7-year-old yn playing alone in the park of his new neighborhood rocking a teddy bear on a swing; while all the kids were screaming and running around, yn played with the bear as gently as you would treat a baby. Little Jake felt genuine curiosity for the girl in pigtails and ribbons that oddly matched the bow of her bear, and when he talked to her in his limited language after moving to a new country and she answered him with a voice softer than the wind of that day; little seven-year-old jake knew at that moment that he wanted to know more of her.

Yn loved the Christmas season, Jake knew that pretty early on in their friendship, she loved winter, hot drinks, and the bright colorful lights that December brought, he remembered 10-year-old yn helping him and his family put up the Christmas decorations as soon as Jake birthday passed, yn was always a curious girl so when she asked “why are there only 4 puppies?” while organizing the ornaments for the tree and Jake explained his family tradition “we have one for each member of our house” and even though she smiled and told him how much she loved that, a part of him felt a yearning feeling in her voice.

He remembered yn at 15 crying in her new bed because the moving truck lost her teddy bear, where the only comfort her parents gave were the cold words telling her to “stop making a big deal out of this, teenagers don’t have teddy bears” he remembered hugging her so hard in hopes of helping her hurt less and he remembered the face of yn at 16 when Jake gifted her a teddy bear with a pink bow in her birthday with a note that said, “we can’t replace bear but you can have someone that helps you remember him”.

he remembered yn at 17 counting days for the college entrance exam, studying and sending applications to the farthest universities possible, he remembered her excitement when her acceptance emails arrived (which was even bigger than the joy she expressed when her high school crush asked her on a date) and he remembered her even bigger smile when they decided to go to the same college.

he remembered yn at 18 packing all her life in a suitcase before going away from her hometown, how even if she wasn´t smiling, her eyes had these hopeful sheen, relieved for finally leaving, and how the whole car ride was her waiting for the fresh air of a city without surreal expectations on her.

he remembered yn at 19 asking him to be roommates during summer break because she hated sharing showers in the dorm building, he had never agreed to something faster, just like 7-year-old jake, 19-year-old jake still wanted to spend more time with yn.

he remembers yn at 20 running to his room to tell him she got her first internship at a clinic, he remembers 20-year-old yn waking up at 3 am to make him a cup of coffee and pat his back while he was working on a project, getting sweets for them after her work, he remembers getting texts asking for him to get stuff for the grocery store on his way home, he remembers yn face when he forced her to try a new recipe for a dish he saw online, he remembers loving the routine that he fell in while living with yn.

He saw her relationships come and go, he started dating too, and he liked the girls he dated at the time, and he liked seeing yn coming home happy after a date; but at the end of each relationship and each heartbreak either his or hers, jake always wondered what would it feel to be loved by yn. he tried not to think of the what ifs as often, maybe once every full moon, but he could never bring a conclusion to his own secret dilemma: he found someone who knew him inside out, who was next to him in all his ups and downs without expecting anything back and he was pretty sure he knew yn in the same way, there were times where they wondered if they shared the same mind; but that only made jaeyun more hesitant over his romantic feelings because if he confessed them and it did not work out, he would be throwing away a friendship that gave him the best moments of his life.

he loved her, he always knew it, and as they grew up, that love he felt grew and transformed with him. he didn´t know what made him realize it: it could be the sleepless nights they share now in college or the gifts she makes for his birthday, it could be her hugs and how warm she felt, it could be how well she knew him or how they've shared pretty much half of their life together. but he was never brave enough to face the consequences of that fact.

he didn´t know what he was going to tell her the moment she walked through the door: he didn´t know if he was going to keep up with the lie or not, he didn´t know if it was a small argument or if it was going to affect their current relationship; he just knew he was going to say he was sorry, he was sorry for his attitude, and he was sorry for not being able to explain why it happened. he just knew he hoped she would forgive him and he hoped she wouldn´t leave the house angry anymore; he knew if that happened he would spend another sleepless night and he just hoped in this one his heart will finally calm down.

Jake couldn’t remember the moment he fell in love with yn ln, he always just knew that her presence was one of the most important things in his life, and he would go ages without telling her how he really felt only to keep seeing her smile for the rest of time.

taglist: OPEN (@ghostiiess, @02zluvbot, @greenmilkyee, @addictedtohobi)

#enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #sim jaeyun #enhypen smau #enhypen jake sim #enhypen x reader

36 notes · View notes

onebadpunspoilsabunch · 5 months

Text

Why I like Spike's friendship with Ember and Thorax more than his friendship with Smolder.

Spike and Ember

When Ember is first introduced (Gauntlet of Fire) she and Spike have a similar dilemma.

Ember is determined to prove to her father that she's just as capable as the other dragons, since he's protective of her since she's noticeable smaller than other dragons her age. It's more noticeable in the comics:

Spike had a problem of the other older dragons, mainly Garble, diminishing him because of his small size, lack of wings, and softer personality.

Both Spike and Ember needed to prove themselves capable of doing things other dragons could do. And in the end by working together, they were able to do that.

Ember knew next to nothing about friendship, or pony society. Spike knew next to nothing about dragon culture and society. But after Ember became the Dragon Lord and Spike became the Ambassador to the Dragon Lands, they both continued to learn through each other (most of it happens offscreen, but it's implied this is the case.)

Both Spike and Ember learn from each other, and are in similarboats. Mutually beneficial relationship.

Spike and Thorax

When Thorax is first introduced (The Times They Are A Changeling), he is a rebel Changeling who decided to leave the Hive because he wanted to pursue friendship. He was an outsider, both within his own species and around ponies. Spike found Thorax and decided to trust him and help him out.

Spike is also an outsider, both within his own species and with ponies. Although the ponies treat Spike like a friend, he's still the odd one out, and sometimes he feels that way. Because of Spike accepting him and giving him a chance, Thorax wouldn't have become the leader of the Changelings we know him today.

Spike taught Thorax what true friendship was, and Spike became a better person because of it. Mutually beneficial relationship.

Spike and Smolder

Spike and Smolder don't have a mutually beneficial relationship. Smolder doesn't learn anything from Spike. Everything that Smolder learned about friendship and becoming a better person isn't through Spike, it's through her relationship with the other Young Six members and the school. Smolder always ends up taking the dominant position whenever she and Spike are interacting together, which I don't like. Spike always needed her help, but she never needed his.

Spike's friendship with Ember and Thorax is more genuine and less forced. Spike has more in common with Ember and Thorax than with Smolder. They could've done more episodes of Spike interacting with those two instead of Smolder.

Also as a side note, I'm a bit irked that Smolder and the Young Six, who were introduced near the very end of the show, were made to be official Elements of Harmony, but Spike, who has been one of the main characters of the show since the very beginning, wasn't. Doesn't that strike anyone else as stupid?

These new children characters who were introduced at the second to last season of the show (I'm not including those season 10 comics) were made to be Elements... but Spike wasn't :/

#so dumb XD #mlp analysis #my little pony #mlp #mlp fim #my little pony friendship is magic #mlp g4 #spike mlp #spike the dragon #ember mlp #thorax #smolder mlp

27 notes · View notes

cynthia39100 · 3 months

Text

Merlin rewatch -- S1E6: A Remedy to Cure All Ills

Uther and Gaius

So, Uther and Gaius’ friendship was a big theme in this episode. A lot of questionable actions Gaius took were “for Uther’s sake” (he said the exact line himself to Geoffrey), so his devotion was apparent, even though the episode still didn’t tell us why. Apart from that, Uther also showed A LOT of his trust and friendship with Gaius it’s unreal.

When Arthur proposed to let Edwin treat Morgana, Uther glanced at Gaius for approval before allowing Arthur to fetch Edwin. I quite like that subtle exchange.

He wasn’t acting hostile after Edwin healed Morgana. He asked Edwin to stay, but he didn’t want to replace Gaius. Edwin was smart. He didn’t outright accuse Gaius’ incapability but used a very convincing argument: age. If Edwin was honest, Gaius truly didn’t recognize Morgana’s illness, it was very dangerous. (Although I think the prominent issue was they only had one physician so there was no good judgement base…)

Uther looked genuinely torn by the decision to retire Gaius. He wasn’t angry. He didn’t ask Gaius to leave. He gave Gaius as much dignity and support as he could. When Gaius tried to defend himself, he was willing to listen. The look when he looked up at Gaius from the chair… it was like he lost his soul. And he kept showing that face in the later scenes too! They worked so hard to make us feel the dilemma in Gaius.

Finally, Uther apologized and appreciated Gaius’ contribution to defeating magic, and Gaius comforted him that he always did what he thought was right. An uncomfortably familiar exchange between King and his trusted advisor… I just hope Arthur and Merlin won’t become like them.

<- Prev Next -> [other episodes]

#merlin rewatch 2024 #bbc merlin #rewatch: a remedy to cure all ills #gaius #uther pendragon #uther and gaius

13 notes · View notes

five-thousand-loaves-of-bread · 1 year

Text

here’s something been thinking about that don’t really know answer to. hoping other people may have thoughts about this that can explain to me.

promise this is being asked in good faith. have hard time understanding things like this.

so like. in online autistic community or in online ND community, is idea that variations of “being autistic/ND don’t excuse shitty behavior”

which. makes sense! saying someone is being racist bc of their autism is really shitty & deflecting responsibility & in a sense infantizing. racism not inherent to autism! and also ignores autistic BIPOC existence.

my dilemma comes from… i’m going to use examples bc that easiest.

an (say, level 2, so have significant enough social difficulties but still able to mostly independently participate in a small college. not all lvl 2 can do this but just for this example let’s say it’s the case) autistic person who repeatedly violate boundaries, pressures other disabled people to explain their access needs, have been repeatedly called out for their behavior and was frustrating to educate because melts down at conflict, and behavior does not change. which is like, objectively problematic behaviors!

but. they repeatedly violate boundaries partially bc they have trouble understanding social rules like that. also have trouble generalizing it: if call out problematic behavior in one specific context, may not be generalize to the next. them pressuring other disabled ppl to explain their access needs (sometimes abt disabilities they don’t have), partially because they have a hard time seeing other people’s perspectives, and it’s hard for them to be told “no” without understanding why, but bc it involves personal disability details, others aren’t always comfortable giving. they may not also understand that. they meltdown when being called out because it’s a lot of emotions and it also reminds them of all the previous times they’ve been socially rejected (bc they perceive this call out as a social rejection). maybe it’s me finding reasons for them because am naive and can’t comprehend sometimes people do bad things because it happens, but…

it’s clear that these are all autistic traits. autism is a disability that affects social stuff and some times it is messy.

and i don’t know how to make sense of this. autism doesn’t excuse or justify any of this behavior, they still need to take accountability of their actions. but how do you really do that when you don’t have full control over said behaviors (it’s not involuntary, but it’s a disorder for a reason)? it’s not the easy “they did that shitty thing just bc they can and they’re unwilling to change”? what happens if the person can’t mask, have a hard time changing their behavior? what happens when a person genuinely struggle to understand? this liminal space between too disabled to function or pass as functioning smoothly, but not disabled enough to be like, assumed as entirely incompetent, not disabled enough so you still kind of on edge of participating in social & society.

but what about the people they harmed? feeling like they want to blame them but also feeling like they can’t because their behavior is connected to their autism (which is different from pardoning them because of unrelated autism)?

don’t know where to balance trying really hard to hold them accountable for what they did. and there was natural consequences for their actions. without falling into space of essentially treating autism as a fancy label without actual effects and real life messy negative impacts. which i found the idea is kind of prominent among inexperienced ND communities (lower support needs?) so am trying reaaaally hard to steer clear of it.

don’t know if this makes sense???

#🍞.txt

52 notes · View notes

maikingsenseofit · 2 years

Text

In Defense of Mai and Maiko, Let’s talk about seashells

Mai has been criticized and villainized relentlessly over her comment to Zuko when he gives her a seashell at the beach. Anti maikos consider her to be selfish, inconsiderate of Zuko’s feelings, and a toxic girlfriend out of this one action. But a key detail that most viewers forget is when Ty Lee snuggles up to the seashell bedspread in Lo and Li’s place, Mai explicitly verbalizes her disdain for seashells. And Zuko was there and heard her say this.

Ty Lee: Ooh, I love the seashell bedspread. [Rubs the pillow admiringly.]

Mai:[Frontal view.] Are you serious? It looks like the beach threw up all over it.

Zuko was clearly not in the right state of mind throughout the Beach episode. He was frustrated with himself, his surroundings, and caught in a moral disarray. There is no wonder as to why he would have remembered this small but important detail. But one thing remains clear. Mai does not like seashells, and she makes sure to show it, and Zuko hears it.

Later, Zuko gives Mai a seashell on the beach. It’s a sweet effort, but it shows Zuko was not paying attention to what Mai had said a moment earlier. He might have heard it, but he didn’t listen to her. Mai has every right to be upset with him. She isn’t privy to Zuko’s turmoil and moral dilemma yet. But in the actual interaction, she isn’t shown to be overbearingly upset or angry. She maintains a mellow demure and clearly states “Why would I want that?” And why would she? She makes it abundantly clear she hates most things, especially things that appeal to normal girls. She expresses her frustration rather simply to Zuko.

Zuko: Here. This is for you.

Mai: why would I want that?

Zuko: I saw it and I thought it was pretty. Don’t girls like stuff like this?

Mai: Maybe stupid girls.

She told Zuko, Azula, and Ty Lee that she hates seashells. Zuko offers her a seashell, making it clear he wasn’t paying attention or listening to her when she said this. She later expresses her well justified frustration in a mostly calm way. She doesn’t hold it over Zuko. She doesn’t break up with him on the spot. She’s shown to still be enjoying her time with him under the umbrella.

It’s so puzzling to me when I see anti-Maiko arguments - demonizing Mai for something that isn’t her fault. Take a look here (I also mentioned in my previous post that I will be quoting directly from other posters, if you are uncomfortable let me know and I will remove the tag)

Now, if you’re in a romantic relationship with someone and your S/O gives you a gift and you throw it aside like it meant nothing to you, and then you proceed to act like a petulant child when they were just trying to do something nice for you — that’s unhealthy. - @seapruncs

Mai was treating him like garbage the entire flipping time. Every time he tried to please her, she acted like he was the scum under her shoe. I mean so you don’t like seashells, we get that, Mai, but would it kill you to thank him for trying? It’s the thought that counts. I see people justifying her reaction on the basis that Zuko really ought to know what she likes. How? - @daughter-of-water

This comment is really funny because Mai disliking seashells isn’t some unspoken fact that Zuko should have been magically aware of. She literally says it.

Friendly reminder that even when Zuko tried to do little things for Mai like give her sweet gifts, she spat them back in his face in mockery - @steambend

I fail to see how Mai spat a gift back in his face and mocked him when all she does is express genuine discontent that he gave her a gift that she explicitly says she doesn’t like.

These comments are a small sample of dozens of takes on why mai is an evil, toxic, even abusive girlfriend for disliking the seashell on the beach. Do you see the misogyny here? Do you see how a female character is being mischaracterized based on an important part of an episode that is conveniently ignored?

In the next episode, we see how Mai and Zuko learn from their previous mistakes and grow as individuals and a couple, notably after the Beach revelations. Zuko cares so much about Mai that he asks her what she wants, listens to what she has to say, and gives her a gift that he knows she will enjoy. Mai graciously accepts the gift, acknowledges and appreciates Zuko’s effort.

Zuko: Tell me, if you can have anything you wanted right now, what would it be?

Mai: Hmm. A big fancy fruit tart, with rose petals on top.

Zuko: You know, being a prince and all, I might just be able to make that happen.

Mai: That would be impressive. I guess there are some nice perks with royalty.

Anyone can see two traumatized teenagers learning from their mistakes and becoming better individuals for it. It’s a dynamic, growing relationship. Whats not to love about that?

#mai #zuko #pro maiko #mai meta #anti zutara #avatar the last airbender #ATLA #indefenseofmaiandmaiko #seashells

166 notes · View notes

whovianwatchingstartrek · 7 months

Text

A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 046 - Medical Dilemma

Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 2 Episode 20 - The Breach

So this episode Starts with Phlox getting an urgent message from the Denobulan Science Academy. Apparently they lost contact with a team of scientists on a world engulfed in civil war, and need Enterprise to Rescue them.

It's good to see that Travis's experience with Rock climbing mentioned in the shore leave episode is being brought up here, it's a useful skill for this situation and I'm happy that it hasn't been forgotten.

The government of the planet has given the team Three Days to rescue the scientists. We also have the crew on Enterprise helping various other ships struggling to leave the planet. One of the ships suffered a reactor leak, which means Phlox is gonna be busy. It's always great to see him in action.

One of the patients in Sick bay apparently belongs to a species which has bad blood with the Denobulans and refuses to be treated by Phlox, which launches this episode into really excellent discussion about medical ethics and patient consent. If someone is dying, but refusing treatment, do you still try to help them? Archer feels like phlox should still make an attempt to help the Antaran patient, but Phlox views Patient consent as the foundation of the medical field. It's really interesting stuff. Phlox making an effort to reconcile between the species, but being met with the Antaran's antagonising insults genuinely hurt to see, and it's really interesting to hear more details about Phlox's youngest son and why they're no longer in contact. I love that they've been slowly seeding details about that through a few episodes and building up to whenever we eventually meet him. That is probably the plotline I'm looking forward to seeing the most.

The search in the cave with Trip, Malcolm and Travis was also interesting, it just doesn't give me as much to talk about. They got into a few sticky situations, and Travis got a rock climbing injury again. The cave team is met with a similar but less interesting dillemma when the Denobulan scientists refuse to leave the cave.

This episode really resonated with me. I'm sure every culture has something that the Denobulan-Antaran feud could work an allegory for, and it definitely isn't an allegory for specifically the issues and sub-divides in my country's culture, but I really felt it. But, that's the power of allegory, it doesn't have to represent one specific thing. I really enjoyed this one

#whovian watching star trek #star trek #star trek enterprise #star trek ent #star trek: enterprise #enterprise #ent #doctor phlox #phlox

11 notes · View notes

stackthedeck · 2 years

Note

What are your thoughts on Ao3 as a whole? I am having a moral dilemma because it's great for tagging, a lot of my favorite creators use it, and it's better than Wattpad, but it also has some truly immoral shit that the site staff isn't doing anything about (like having to dodge past explicit underage mcu peter/adult tony)

I love this ask, thank you so much for sending it, but my answer is going to upset everyone. Like all my opinions on internet discourse, my answer can't be reduced to a pro and anti binary. The issue is complicated and nuanced. The ao3 is better than everything that came before it but it still has a lot of things I would like to see improved upon in the future.

TL; DR: The ao3 is born out of censorship in fandom and so is a free speech maximalist, it's an archive stop treating it like social media, I don't give a shit about the weird porn once you start censoring that you're going to censor art that is important, the real problem is the hate speech that thrives on that platform and it's weird that the conversation has been reduced to shipping discourse

So I have experience with every major fandom platform: Ao3 (obviously), Wattpad, Fanfiction.net, tumblr, and even live journal briefly although I never wrote or posted anything, just lurked. The thing about ao3 is that it is born out of a history of censorship. FF.net used to have these purges, your work would just be gone one day and it was usually explicit stuff and queer stuff which sucks and is obviously bigoted. But the purges happened to make the website more advisor friendly. I do not believe in censorship and I certainly don't believe in censorship for the sake of profit. Before there was ff.net there were fanfic websites that were fandom-specific, usually password protected and invite-only, and heavily moderated. It used to be very hard for fans to get their work out into the world. So the ao3 was born with a very explicit free-speech maximalist approach, post whatever you want we won't stop you. And I totally get that and I believe in this model. But unlike a lot of these older websites, ao3 has an intensive policy of positivity that seems to be completely accidental. No one comments meaningful constructive criticism much less calls out bigotry. Freedom of speech should protect you from the government and coporations (because I don't give a shit what the supreme court says they are not people) not from other citizens. You say some dumb shit, I'm going to tell you it's dumb shit.

okay so that's why ao3 is like that, but what are some pros of the website:

it's an archive. It doesn't have an algorithm, it has a filtering and tagging system and a really good one!! God do I wish my academic databases were half as good as ao3. This is another reason it doesn't censor content, it's more about preserving fandom than curating it. It's up to you to comb through the archive and decide what you want to read.

it's not a social media site! Like it is so rare for something online to not be controlled by an algorithm. I like that I have real and genuine control over what I read. I hate the way Wattpad has made fanfic into social media. The setup of it is so bad for critical engagement. Like you really really have to try to get any sort of meaningful feedback and what you post gets buried within an hour, god I hate Wattpad, and its stolen art and stories

it's a non-profit. FF.net ran ads. Wattpad runs ads and is selling your stories whether you like it or not. It's gross, it's terrible, and it's legally dangerous for fanworks. AND CREATORS DON'T SEE A PENNY OF THAT AD REVENUE! Yes, the ao3 takes donations but how that money is spent is public information.

it has a legal team. You don't have to worry about being sued anymore (I hope Anne Rice is spinning in her grave) and it's doing amazing work in expanding the power of copyright (seriously I had to study one of their cases for one of my poli-sci classes). the OTW is more than the ao3, it's also a field of scholarship, they have published a lot of great articles about fandom history and culture

okay now the cons

it is a monopoly. I use that term loosely because again it's a non-profit and I think the fact that it is only the half-decent fanfic website is a pure accident and the fact that they're the best at what they do. FF.net has been dying for years, Wattpad is terrible in every way, and every social media site has a word limit except for tumblr which whether we like it or not is dying and hostile to fan creators BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T REBLOG THINGS. If you don't like the ao3 you basically have to stop writing fanfic

because it's an archive, and it's hard to interact with people. Yeah you have comments and kudos but there's no messaging system, you can't make friends on ao3

there's no blocking system or built-in permanent moderation system. I don't want to see content that's triggering or even mildly upsetting so I have to remind myself of it while I manually filter it out of my searches

there's genuine hate speech on that website and I don't think it deserves to be preserved as fandom history, especially with the same weight as other fanworks.

Like here's the meat of the question. "There's weird porn and bad ships on the ao3!" I don't give a shit. There's always going to be weird shit on the internet, sorry people are freaks and there's nothing you can do to stop them. don't like don't read. one of my favorite works on the ao3 has non-con, like a lot of non-con, and it is genuinely one of my favorite works of literature. But I'm using my critical thinking skills to understand that it is a horror story, brutal chest-bursting horror, not a romance. I read the story, I liked it, and I still believe that rape is bad, in fact, that has been cemented in my brain. I read Jane Eyre and I don't think women should be locked in the attic for being mentally unwell. The Great Gatsby is my favorite novel and I hate America and capitalism. I love Fahrenheit 451 and I don't believe in book burnings. Dark stories deserve to be told no matter what. It is up to you to decide if they have value and meaning. And guess what I despise Peter Parker/Tony Stark as a ship, but it still deserves to exist because it's not hurting anyone. Like it's ship discourse, it doesn't matter. This "think of the children, bad things can't exist" mindset isn't helpful. Like this is the mindset that conservatives bring to the don't say gay bills. From literary studies, education, and political science perspectives this mindset is dangerous. You can not say that art isn't allowed to exist because you personally find it distasteful because that is a flexible line. First, we're purging everything underage off ao3 (sure we've removed Starker, but also all the works that unpacked Peter's trauma around Skip Westcott) then it's everything incestuous, and then it's every kink you don't like, and shit we're back at the ff.net mentality.

but there's a big difference between ships you don't like and hate speech. Fandom has a racism problem and I have seen some genuinely terrible fics that treat characters of color terribly and not in a way that explores and unpacks racism, but in a racist way. There are works on the ao3 of Steve Rogers lynching Sam Wilson. Those works don't exist to add depth to Sam's character, they exist to make fans of color uncomfortable. THIS IS WHAT THE CONVERSATION SHOULD BE ABOUT! the ao3 has said that they don't want to draw a line because it's a slippery slope. And my stance is no, it's not. The line we draw is hate speech, feel like that should be obvious. People aren't writing underage ships to make children in fandom feel uncomfortable, they're doing it because the shipping options are limited, they think it's hot, they want to explore a trauma they lived through, they want to help someone else unpack their trauma, they are a child who feels mature for their age and has a crush on the older character etc. This is a non-issue. if underage stuff bothers you so much, go to your local library and demand they burn their copies of Lolita. The amount of impact a fanwork has is microscopic to culture as a whole. But fans of color routinely speak out about how fandom is not an inclusive space for them and it's bullshit that the ao3 won't stand up for them or even give them tools to make their fandom spaces safer.

#asks #fandom meta #ao3 discourse #like yes i have problems with the ao3 so many problems #but the solution isn't censorship #and also where else are we going to post fanfic?#i wish there were other options #but i don't want a social media site and I don't want that moderated web form bullshit

83 notes · View notes

haldenlith · 5 months

Text

Okay, no, I'm not done ranting about my misgivings about Mara and Crow's writing as of late. I've been sitting here stewing, and I might as well shout into the void about it.

It's true, I've never liked Mara as a person, because she was condescending, arrogant, and manipulative, especially after Forsaken and scouring through everything lore wise, and seeing how she treated Uldren as just another tool in her toolkit, and was... basically abusive.

But I did think she was interesting as a character. My biggest problems with her weren't ever with her, per se, but with how the universe reacted to her. Or didn't react to her, rather. It seemed like everyone was always, all the time, blind to her actions. It was frustrating. Zavala was the only character, it seemed, that ever seemed leery of her. It was refreshing to have our Ghost yell at her when he did, even if we got shouted down by her afterwards. It was nice to see (well, read) Jolyon stand up to her. It was hella refreshing to have Ikora clap back at her, especially after Mara had spent so much time blaming The Guardian for Uldren's death, with the response of, "No Mara, you did that shit." It was nice to see the universe react to her. She finally felt, to me, like she was a part of the big web of characters and stories, and not just some detached side character. She felt... real, I guess? I still didn't like. Still didn't trust her. But still, she felt a part of everything now.

And sure, I hollered and flailed and was like "STAY AWAY FROM CROW", and was unsurprised when she was like "oh he's a blank slate, I can use that." And I even thought it was interesting when attempts at reconciliation started to happen, because we had the dilemma of "Is she genuinely trying to be a sister to Crow? Or is she just trying to yank him back into the fold, back into her toolbox?". Buuuut... then Season of the Seraph happened.

You see, her reaching out to Eramis felt... strange to me. As far as I could tell, she didn't really know Eramis, had no ties to her, anything. Eramis was just another Eliksni that fought against her and subsequently ended up in the Prison of Elders. Mara had no reason to reach out to her to be all "aren't you tired?" and trying to convince Eramis to "see reason." It all felt really out of character, to me. It'd be one thing if it was Eido or Mithrax, or even Crow (given his bleeding heart nature towards Eliksni), but Mara? Queen "I'm playing 4D Chess with Everyone Around Me"? That little point didn't sit right with me.

And ever since then, it's felt like they've been taking sandpaper to her character and filing off all the sharp points and edges. The most egregious was how apparently sad and broken up she was over Amanda Holliday's death and just like... ?????? WHY WOULD SHE CARE? (Then again, the writing during Defiance was hot garbage...) This is the same woman that led hundreds of her own people to their death without them knowing for the sake of a scheme to steal power from Oryx. She isn't going to care about some random human mechanic. The most I could see her doing is diplomatically, but coldly acknowledging it was a tragedy, but also reminding us that we've got shit to do.

And now she's all soft and sweet with Crow? After literal centuries of being cold to him? It makes no sense. It feels like they're trying extra hard to make her "likeable".

"But they're trying to reconcile the twins and their family arc." Okay, I get that. I hear you, but wouldn't it not only make more sense, but also be more interesting, if we had Mara having an issue of still trying to manipulate Crow and seeing him as a chess piece to move about the cosmic board, but also grappling with the hurt and confusion of "Why is my brother upset with me? He's supposed to love me. He's my brother. I am his sister. I'm only doing what's best for him." Like at this point, I feel like there should be a sort of cognitive dissonance or something that we, the player, can see, but perhaps Mara cannot.

It feels like they smoothed away her flaw of being unable to really relate and understand normal people for the sake of quickly fixing the Crow/Mara relationship. If it hadn't been for previous Mara-interactions with characters, I'd normally sit and wonder if Mara was being manipulative when she comes to Crow and is like "Oh I'm so sad and pained that you must endure Riven after what she did to you." It'd have been a situation of "oh is she being genuine, or is she being manipulative and saying what Crow wants to hear, just like Riven has pointed out?" But shit, now I honestly feel like they meant for her to be genuine.

AND SPEAKING OF CROW... We just spent a whole ass character arc of him reconciling with his past, with his flaws, with how he was used by Mara, and with how he was finally well aware that he was used and how destructive and abusive their sibling relationship was, and now he's just... suddenly cool with everything?

I recall him being very leery and distrusting of her. It's a point that was hammered on multiple times throughout his arc, along with the theme of him reconciling with his dark past (which was largely caused just as much by her as it was Riven). As I said in the other post, it would've made way more sense for Crow to be very cautious in response to Mara's mother-henning. "I understand why you're overprotective, BUT that's still not okay, and I still don't feel like I can trust you." And so on. Sure, there are signs of potential reconciliation there, but also signs of the self awareness he's attained, of realizing that sometimes, no matter how strong your bond is with family, maybe you simply can't trust them.

It just feels like whiplash to go from anger and distrust and perhaps even a little fear and realizing "hey my sister really, really, really fucked me up" to "yeah we've got this unbreakable bond and we're so cool now" in the span of two years-ish? Instead of real reconciliation between the siblings, it feels like history repeating itself and ignoring the whole point of his arc.

All that aside, it also feels like his character is getting very beaten into a box of tricks. As I said before, the amount of time they were spending on him, building him up, made him feel like he was going to play a very important role in the story. But now? He feels like the side character that's trotted out for misery and pain points and then shoved back into a box. We've yet to see him really come into his own, outside of the work he did during his introduction in Season of the Hunt. He feels SO VERY underutilized when you think about his skillset and abilities.

He has literal centuries of knowledge stashed in that dense skull of his. He's got some degree of mechanical genius, given that he built the crow-drones and the Wrathborn lures. He was the first person to successfully figure out how to get in AND OUT of The Black Garden, and live to tell the tale, with only the help of his pal Jolyon. No Light, no fancy Awoken space magic. He was Mara's fucking spy master, and it was at least insinuated that he was pretty good at it.

Aaaaaaaand... Crow's been just an errand boy and scout... this whole time. *sigh* It feels like they're afraid to let him do anything (they being the writers).

I just... their writing bugs me lately. It almost feels like they swapped writing teams and someone has to pick up where someone else left off, but without clear notes or anything, so they're just riffing it. Sort of. Sort of, because Mara just feels more and more sanitized, to me, and Crow is feeling minimized to being a man-pain party trick.

#haldie rants #destiny 2 spoilers #because I do mention season of the wish spoilers #long post

5 notes · View notes