#yes the year is 2021 and i still read poetry

[retellingthehobbit]

I went to read your comic on Ao3 and I noticed you'd started back in 2020. Aside from your clear and beautiful art progression, what can you tell me about the timeline of your comic?

Thank you! And yes, started this webcomic in January of 2020. “I sure hope nothing bad happens in 2020 that will hamper my ability to focus on a large personal project!” — me in January 2020 with all the naivety of youth. Top ten images taken minutes before disaster. This comic is like a deeply personal diary of my mental state, complete with the long empty hiatuses that are sort of like that part of Twilight where months of depression are represented by blank pages.

One of my favorite things about webcomics is how you can often see an artist’s style grow organically over time. I think it’s something that’s getting lost in the age of “Webtoon Originals,” where people are starting to expect webcomics to be produced by an actual production studio with a team of artists behind them and to maintain a consistent highly curated art style throughout. These professionally funded comics are fun, but they do lose the messy personal organic growth that used to separate webcomics from traditional print comics? But i could go on a whole tirade about webtoon haha 😂 !

The Hobbit is partially a story about someone learning how to express themselves. Bilbo starts the story as this stuffy little guy who is repressing a lot his own personality; he ends the story as a skilled artist writing elaborate prosy poetry about his adventures. I deliberately chose to start drawing the comic before I went to college, knowing my art style would change a lot of over that period!

Anyway here's the timeline as I remember it: Pre-development: I was working on sketches of the comic itself as early as 2016. Chapter 1 (A Bedtime Story/Tooks and Bagginses): (Posted on Tumblr in January 2020, on Ao3 later): Published shortly before I went to college. I was drawing in Paint Tool Sai, and hand-writing all the words instead of using a font. I set out to adapt at least the Unexpected Party chapter, but thought I'd probably adapt the entire novel within a year or two. ("It's a webcomic Michael. How long could it take? twelve months?") Chapter 2: (A Very Respectable Hobbit): Posted like a week after Chapter 1. This was when I still thought I could post a ten page chapter every week, haahahahahahahahahaha Fs in the chat.

HIATUS #1: DANCE BREAK: TIME FOR A GLOBAL PANDEMIC. The exact timeline of 2020 is a blur for obvious reasons, but I do remember the updates became very sporadic over this period. Chapter 3-5 (Very Old Friends and An Unexpected Party chapters): there’s a global pandemic. During Spring Break my college abruptly kicks us all off campus and sends us home. I keep looking at the “post dates” on these chapters like what??? Really? I posted that at thAt time? But there was a global pandemic happening and I was so busy and overwhelmed with college???? When did I have the time? I have no memory of drawing these. My memories of all 2020 are so blurry. I think these chapters just manifested spontaneously.

The weekly/biweekly update schedule has been tossed to the wind, never to return. Alas. Chapter 6 (An Enormously Important Dwarf, aka Thorin’s intro): I was back “at college” during our “hybrid” year, so in practice I was extremely isolated. this was posted during a year after the first chapter, in 2021. I would never have found the motivation to continue if I wasn't so excited to draw Thorin! I also joined a "comic club" at my college which was comprised mainly of awkward video calls with like three people. On a weirder note, this chapter was posted a few weeks after the January 6th attempted coup. I was drawing in a a weird headspace.

DANCE BREAK #2: IT’S TIME FOR A YEAR LONG HIATUS:

I've started to often dislike the word “burnout” when it’s applied to art. It implies that the problem is that you were drawing too much or that you can’t find inspiration, when often the problem is much bigger than your art-- it's wider economic anxieties and social circumstances outside your control. It is very hard to think clearly and create things when you are worried about your future, about work, about housing, about a global pandemic, about constant demands on your time, and about being extremely isolated. In hindsight, I wasn’t “burned out”— I was in a situation where I could not think clearly or produce anything. Chapter 7 (The Lonely Mountain): posted a full year after chapter 6. For a while I considered having this be the “last chapter” of the comic!

Changing art styles was a thing I was really motivated to do, and was my last “bucket list” item for the comic.

HIATUS #3: I get really busy with junior year of college! I grow more and more disillusioned with Tolkien as I learn more about The Hobbit Law crushing labor unions and worker's rights in New Zealand, and how Amazon takes advantage of that. The Tolkien Estate also releases a statement saying they disapprove of any unauthorized use of Tolkien's works for profit or not, which isn't really legally enforceable but is also just an act of pure contempt XD. Chapter 8 (A Tangled Web): I get sent to the emergency room in an ambulance for Reasons and begin drawing this in the weeks after, as I realize I don't care about the Tolkien Estate or Amazon or Warner Brothers or whatever hollow marketable products they produce under the tolkien brand. I think this is the weakest chapter of the comic, both in writing and art, and in hindisght think the comic works better without it pacing-wise. However!!!! I was drawing it in a weird mental state, so. XD

Also, at this point I am drawing entirely in Photoshop. Chapter 9 (Ash and Smoke): Back at college for senior year— time for dragon! The comic starts updating with something that resembles a "regular schedule!" this year had more and more people on campus in person, and I started to slowly make college friends :). Also, at this point I am the President of the comic club, and we are now meeting in person and rebuilding our comic empire. Chapter 10 (The Heart of the Mountain): Some funky bits of writing I'd like to revise at some point, but I enjoy the art in this chapter. Chapter 11 (Polite Nothings): If I were to do this all again I'd shorten this chapter and combine it with chapter 12. One important note is that originally, I tried to keep all chapters under ten pages. This made it easier to post them to Instagram and Tumblr, because tumblr still had a “ten image limit” at the time. However at some point I realized that was more trouble than it was worth, and really made the pacing difficult/slow as I struggled to split the story into ten page chunks.

A lot of webcomics often fall into what I call a “wheel-spinning” phase, where the author is so focused on finishing smaller updates that they lose the pacing of the larger narrative—- and so the story stalls out. I feel like I dealt with a lot of “wheel-spinning” while I was at college, both in my life and in my comic XD. Chapter 12 (The Quest): My internship company gives me an offer to work full-time, which I accept. in the last semester of my last year of college, I take the most helpful elective class I have ever taken: a class on using 3D models in blender to aid with blocking out illustrations. This is the first chapter where you see one of those backgrounds! From this point on my background art will improve dramatically. I also have lots of internet friends and college friends!

As I grow more confident in my art I also make the decision to change the character designs, something I’d wanted to do for a while. Chapter 13 (The Necromancer): I graduate college! It's time for some Lotte Reiniger art. I stay in my student housing until my lease ends. The art starts to grow more elaborate as I have more time to spend on it. Chapter 14 (Terms and Conditions): my summer is free, so I spend it drawing gay little hobbits. I move up North to live with my grandmother until my work start date. This is the very last “normal-sized” chapter of the comic, where I hold myself to keeping it under 10 pages. I also think this is where my new more elaborate character designs actually start to look a lot better XD.

I was finishing up apartment-hunting at this time, so both Bilbo and I were goin over contract terms. Chapter 15 (Unattached): summer free time!! More gay little hobbits. I move into my New apartment and sleep on an air mattress for a while. I have a lot of time to draw and the art gets far more complex; this chapter was also twice as long as my usual chapters. I am still proud of this chapter, honestly, even though it's gotten less attention than Chapter 16/17-- it's one I'd been excited to draw for a while. A lot of this chapter was drawn on my beautiful powerful beloved air mattress. Air mattress, my beloved. Chapter 16 (the Song of the Lonely Mountain): I start my new job! I get a BED. Lots of exciting things are happening. I was really excited to draw and post this chapter, because it’s one id been dreaming about drawing from the beginning-- it was surreal to see it "posted" because part of me never thought I'd get this far. I even started a tiktok and posted the chapter there, certain that people would enjoy it. However, tiktok basically ignored it, alas! This is why tumblr is the only social media site. Chapter 17: I continue my new job. My roommate surprises me with the news that they will move out at the end of our lease, making me realize that months have somehow passed. I make a post asking for anyone looking for roommates in Milwaukee to contact me via dms (that offer is still open, if you’re looking to move here in early June.) I privately am very confused about why anyone would ever want to leave a comfortable settled home to go off on an adventure and then realize that I am behaving exactly like pre-quest Bilbo Baggins.

Chapter 18: the chapter I am working on now!!! Another chapter I have been excited to draw forever!! It’ll feature studio-Ghibli-inspired backgrounds, exciting landscape art, and so much fun! I’ve also started a Patreon where, if you want to see “one page a week” instead of “twenty pages every Mystery number of Months” you can subscribe there. (The first page of Chapter 18 has already been posted!)

But yeah! The TL:DR:

I think the moral of all this (to me) is that it’s hard to make art if you’re just not in a position to do it, and you have to allow yourself time to grow and change as a person XD. Sometimes you need to spend a few years thinking and getting better before you're ready to go on an Adventure. I started this comic when I was very Young and Naive to the Ways of the World. The quality (and dips in quality) reflect my wildly fluctuating mental/emotional states while trying to draw each chapter in the midst of a global pandemic. My art has improved a lot lately, and I think a large part of it is really just being in a situation where I *can* improve— having a decent job, not being in the middle of a global pandemic with no vaccine in sight, not needing to live in constant fever-pitch anxiety, having friends, etc etc. I am completely different person now than I was while drawing chapter 1.

Not to be dramatic, but I think you can see there’s a lot more joy in the recent chapters than there is in some of the older ones. It's weird to look at your art and realize you've gotten happier. XD

#thanks for the ask!!! #and sorry it took so long to respond #I am Treebeard-core when it comes to responding to asks #just like I am Treebeard-core when it comes to posting this comic #it takes a very loong time to say anything in oooold entish #and we never say anyythiiiiing #unlesssss #it is worth taking #a long #time #to say #the hobbit #the hobbit comic #retelling the hobbit #lotr #lord of the rings

[arwamachine]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @discordantwords!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 18 fics, plus 1 collection of poetry

2. What's your total A03 word count? 1,032,993 (I am a wordy motherfucker)

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently only BBC Sherlock

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Indefinite Lines

To Stand Before the Storm

Sleepwalkers

You Might Just as Well Be Blind

Matchmaking for Solitary Animals

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? When I'm actively posting a fic I do, but when I'm not posting I fall behind and then the inbox gets overwhelming so I avoid it and then it gets even more overwhelming so I avoid some more and now we've really reached critical mass and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I do read them all, though, and they make me happy in my heart

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? We don't really do angsty endings over at ArwaMachine, LLC. Monsters in the Woods come close (iykyk - I see y'all's screams in that last chapter), and Oh How the Ghost of You Clings ends with Sherlock still on hiatus, but we're all about that happy ending over here (...for now)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? They've all got happy endings; the heavier the angst, the happier the ending! I feel like Indefinite Lines has a pretty happy ending, and if you consider the Bonus Lines then we're really in Fluffy McFluff territory.

So Grant Us All a Change of Heart also has a pretty happy ending (and a hefty dose of angst in all the preceding chapters)

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really, thank god. There's been a few frowny-face comments here and there, but overall folks have been lovely.

9. Do you write smut? HECK YES I DO! C'MON OVER TO ARWAMACHINE'S HOUSE O SMUT AND LOAD UP ON YOUR SPICE! WE SPECIALIZE IN TOPLOCK AND I WILL NOT BE APOLOGIZING FOR THAT

10. Do you write crossovers? Nah, not really my thing

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have! Sleepwalkers has been translated into Spanish, and Storm has been translated into Russian! Always happy when fics get translated :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, and let me tell you that I would be the worst co-writer in the history of co-writers. Nobody ever write anything with me ever--I am a fucking nightmare

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Sherlock & John, although these days I'm also feeling myself some Gentlebeard

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have a goddamn post-fall fic where John develops panic disorder that I've been "working on" since 2021 and I AM GOING TO FINISH IT. I AM. I AM GOING TO FINISH THE MOTHERFUCKER IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I write the feelings well, and I'd like to think I can create scenes that bring out the intended feels in readers. I also think (/hope) I handle scene pacing decently--action scenes feel fast-paced but not rushed, slower scenes take their time but aren't slogs, etc.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Fight scenes. Dear christ do I hate writing fight scenes. I also really don't understand how commas work.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I have exactly two words in Russian in Lines and that is going to be the extent of it! Trying not to make an uncultured ass out of myself over here...

19. First fandom you wrote for? BBC Sherlock. I'm like that kid who married their high school sweetheart. That is to say, I make questionable decisions.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? Okay, so I love all of my fics and my answer tends to be whichever fic I've most recently written, but I've got to say that I love Lines so much. I put my whole soul into that fic for, like, over a year of my life, I researched the ever loving fuck out of it (who's reading up on amputation procedures? this gal!), I created a working cypher for the motherfucker, I permanently changed my relationship with Brahms' lullaby, and I got to meet Rosie, who remains my favorite character that I've ever written, ever. So Lines is my favorite child. Good child.

I tag anyone who wants to be tagged, for I am bad at tagging!

#arwa writes about writing #fanfiction

[catboygretzky]

ok sure zellweger is cute but is he any good?

IS HE ANY GOOD! oh you are definitely going to regret asking that question anon.

sit down i have to educate you and this WILL be lengthy and WILL include way too much information because i can't like something normally. many sources will be sited. so buckle up, buttercup.

(disclaimer, i realise this is all junior hockey stats and "that's not the nhl!" i don't care, we can have this conversation again in a couple years.) ANYWAY

olen zellweger! olen freaking zellweger!

start with the basics: 5'9", 180 pound left shooting defenseman currently playing for the kamloops blazers in the WHL. he was chosen 34th overall by the anaheim ducks in 2021 and he compares his game to samuel girard.

another one of those "hm if he was bigger he would have been drafted higher" defensemen.

"okay but why do you keep calling him the saviour of the anaheim ducks?"

1) it's a joke

2) is it really?

3) click below and find out!

hello to everyone that clicked, this is going to be lengthy!

real quick, his card from last year, for those who like stats:

he's no longer playing for everett and this is last year's, as stated, but i am ALWAYS ready to talk about zelly's playing.

first:

not necessary but this answer is nothing if it's not self indulgent.

also, when reading these, remember he missed a month for world juniors.

fun WHL stats to note for the stats folks:

zelly has the second highest shots on goal total this year, out of any player regardless of position. oh, you may ask, who is he second to? well, happy to answer! he's second only to connor bedard.

he has the most shots on goal on the power play out of all players in the whl, though, regardless of position.

he has the highest points per game % of any dman in the WHL (last time i checked...it's about 1.5?) and among all players with 15+ games he's still top ten.

in 13 games with the blazers he has 23 points.

"that's just the WHL" well, he also just won back to back gold at world juniors, so there's that! while getting named a top dman and player and being one of the top scoring dmen in world juniors history.

but say you aren't a stats folk. say you want analysis of his skating and shooting and various other aspects of his actual play. i can give you that! oh, also, some video, just for the heck of it.

he is literally always in motion. if he's on the ice, he's skating and making plays. i've never watched a kamloops game and been unable to tell if olen was on the ice, because if he is, you'll know.

his zone entries are as good as any forwards - he's often called a 'one man zone entry machine', which is well earned. his ability to transition through the zones with ease is insane. (i'm nothing if not a provider of video links few will click on)(this goal is good though, so i would rec clicking this)

his compete level is insane as well and he just - never stops. he's always involved, in every zone. he's extremely talented defensively and he's so solid and strong.

his passing is fantastic (with video proof, of course)(one in team canada colours, sure, why not) and his stick handling is disgusting. like his hands? filthy. (as always, video proof ) he has a great shot (here) (here) (here) and, like i mentioned, he has a lot of those.

and his skating oh my god. do you want poetry, anon? his crossovers and edgework...well here's a video or two if you want to truly appreciate his skating. maybe another for fun.

some fun videos to really hammer home my point.

so, anon, yes he is cute, but most definitely he is good at hockey.

also his body looks like this

so that's fun. not the point and if u want my feelings about him as a person you'll have to ask that separately.

#you're all welcome #you'll learn! you'll all learn! #olen zellweger #anaheim ducks #anaheim #hockey

[juuls]

Juulna’s 2021 Multi-Fandom Fanfiction Rec List - Part Four

(Yes, I realize this is a year late, but this year's been a bit nuts. I still hope you enjoy these fics anyway!)

Based only on what I’ve read with my own eyes this year!

Follow me on my journey into what, at times, was…

…actually rather calming! Perhaps you can find some comfort and entertainment, fluff and angst and romance and friendship, smut and a distinct lack of it, space adventures and fantasy and modern adventures, serial killers and good guys, redemption and reconciliation and learning to become someone completely different — there is so much here I read that stuck with me over the past year, and the 2021 Fanfic Reading Challenge ( @fanfic-reading-challenge ) allowed me a new way to keep track of all of my favourites. So props to that event! Definitely participating again (considering I run the event, yeah, that's probably a given lol, but full disclosure).

Without further ado, here were my 2021 fic favourites!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six

Fandom: Potterverse

Bilmione:

Lady in Red by JamieOlivier

After a year of secretly being in love with Hermione, Bill finally gets a chance to show her how he feels. But what will happen between them when they're faced with the consequences of their night together?

Dramionarry:

Fourteen Thousand Galleons by @frumpologist

After the War, there is a boom of marriage and divorce. Hermione finds herself among the statistics of war heroes who couldn’t save their marriages. When she receives the invoice from her solicitor, she has no choice but to answer an ad in The Daily Prophet: Malfoy Heir Seeking Nanny.

But, everything is not quite what it seems as Hermione navigates the waters of post-divorce life.

GES Winner 2020: Best Love Story

Dramione:

The Library of Alexandria by @senlinyu

The Library of Alexandria is not for just any witch or wizard. Many bookworms may try but few are permitted to pass through its doors. The books residing there are ancient and powerful and, if one happens to make a mistake, the consequences can be rather—novel.

Height by @senlinyu

“Tall? That’s what you think I should notice about Malfoy? His height?”

Ginny quirked an eyebrow and licked the tip of her quill suggestively. ”Well, isn’t that your thing? Lockhart. Krum. McLaggen. Ron. The only thing they have in common is being tall enough to give me a neck ache.”

Hermione felt her ears grow hot, and she gripped her book tighter. “I don’t have a thing for tall men. Their height is—completely coincidental.”

Dramione Height Differences Minifest 2020.

The Malaria Visions by @heymanticore

Hermione has a series of vivid dreams about Draco Malfoy after taking anti-malarial medication. Can she reconcile the real Draco with the one she sees when she sleeps?

Presque Toujours Pur by ShayaLonnie

Bellatrix's torture of Hermione uncovers a long-kept secret. The young witch learns her true origins in a story that shows the beginning and end of the Wizarding wars as Hermione learns about her biological father and the blood magic he dabbled in that will control her future.

Remione:

Those Who Can, Teach by @inlovewithforever

“You do realize,” he spoke measuredly, “how absolutely insane you sound, trying to protect the long-gone virtue of your nearly forty-year-old professor? Who happens to be a werewolf?”

“You’re not my professor. Not anymore.” --- Dirty little Remione one-shot featuring gratuitous use of erotic poetry as foreplay. Canon divergent from the beginning of Deathly Hallows.

Moonlight by @kittenshift-17

Coming to call on a werewolf hours before the full moon rises has unexpected consequences for the brightest witch of the age. Hermione never expected that Remus would ever let her get so close, but the allure of moonlight finally proves too much for the lycanthrope to resist. Remione.

Hungry Like the Wolf by @iamtarasoleil

"Where am I?" she demanded, though her voice still shook slightly from embarrassment. "My flat, obviously," the man replied with equal unease. "Who are you? Why are you here? … And why would you turn such a bloody awful record into a portkey?"

Siremione:

A cautionary tale. Or: why you should never bet with Sirius Black by theGoddessofSamothrace

Hermione has lived with two of the most eligible bachelors of the wizarding world for two years now. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black invited her to live with them when her relationship with Ron Weasley collapsed and she gratefully accepted. The household works for all three of them: there is someone at home when she gets back from work, Remus has an intellectual sparring partner and Sirius is kept in line just a little more when there's a woman in the house. But what happens when this comfortable setting is disturbed by a very, very bad decision on the part of a certain miss Granger?

Stay by nymueladyofthelake

Hermione finds herself targeted by a law, a Muggleborn Registration Act being led by Dolores Umbridge. Sirius and Hermione immediately form a marriage bond to protect her from receiving the trace. Remus isn't sure what that will mean for their pack bond or for his relationship with Sirius. The Order tries to circumvent the dark plans Voldemort has for all muggleborns.

The Sun, The Moon and The Star by @ladyblack3

WINNER! of Mischief Managed Awards 2018: Best Soul Bond Fic. Eight years after the war, life at Grimmauld place is settled for the widowed Remus, his metamorphmagus son, and the brightest witch of her age. What happens when they uncover that they yet may return a lost Marauder? What will Moony have to say about all of this? And was this their fate all along? Triad, HG/RL/SB!

Sirimione:

This Dizzy Life of Mine by @inlovewithforever

Hermione wants desperately to make the world a better place. Sirius wants more than anything for Hermione to take him, well, seriously.

AU in which Voldemort never existed, but blood prejudice and anti-Muggle sentiments reign supreme.

Looking Like a High I Want to Be On by weary_kind

It wasn’t the Wizarding World’s happiness that kept her out of Diagon Alley, not exactly. It was the news articles that were written about her during the divorce. They weren’t written about Harry. Or Ron... Just her.

Being as well-known as she was, the Daily Prophet had paid close attention to her relationship. Especially the end of it. How exactly they got ahold of her medical records from St. Mungos was anyone’s guess. But they had.

Sirimione & Remione:

The Debt of Time by ShayaLonnie

When Hermione finds a way to bring Sirius back from the veil, her actions change the rest of the war. Little does she know her spell restoring him to life provokes magic she doesn't understand and sets her on a path that ends with a Time-Turner.

SSHG:

Meta: The Not-So-Comprehensive Guide to Hermione/Severus Clichés in Fanfiction by Electryone

The majority of HG/SS plotlines in under 500 words each. Time-turners added!

The Witchhiker's Guide to Beltane by TeddyRadiator

Wizarding Britain, ten years after the war. Things are good, but the Ministry thinks what's needed is a good old fashioned Beltane revel. Hogwarts is just the place to do it. In the meantime, Severus isn't enjoying life right now; he's the subject of Rita Skeeter's new tell-all book. And don't get Hermione started on how Ron continues to make her life a misery. Perhaps this Beltane stuff may just be the ticket to help them out as well. Written for Jenidralph in the winter 2013 LiveJournal SSHG_Prompfest.

SSHG & Drarry:

The Problem With Purity by Phoenix.Writing

As Hermione, Harry, and Ron are about to begin their seventh and final year at Hogwarts, they learn some surprising and dangerous information regarding what it means to be Pure in the wizarding world. HG/SS with H/D. AU after OotP.

SSHGRL (Snape, Hermione, Remus):

Snow Turns The World Deaf by TeddyRadiator

Severus has always believed that, if you love someone, you must promise them the moon, and deliver it. How do you wrestle that moon to the ground?

Fandom: Fantastic Beasts

Gramander:

Masquerade by @prosodiical

MACUSA's annual New Year's Eve Masquerade Ball is the largest, most magical event of the year - and Newt, dressed to the nines and miserably bored, really just wants to leave.

But when a handsome man in a wampus mask comes to his rescue, Newt finds himself very quickly swept away.

Five Times They Weren't, and One Time They Totally Were by Anonymous

Tina is beginning to think that this fiancé act is a getting a bit suspicious. But that can't be right; she just has an overactive imagination. Surely Percival Graves isn't serious when he calls Newt Scamander his 'betrothed'. Right?

Roar by @elenothar

After Graves' fourth escape attempt Grindelwald decides that turning the man into a magical creature - a process thought to be impossible to reverse - will take care of the problem quite nicely. Too bad he didn't anticipate Newt Scamander.

You Told Me Fortunes In American Slang by kopperblaze

Fill for this prompt on the Kink Meme:

Newt's dislike to looking someone in the eye and his aversion to human touch (that is not part of his family) is the result of someone playing an ugly prank on him when he was little. It's also the main reason that Theseus Scamander is a huge momma bear concerning all matters related to Newt.

After Graves is found and healed, he gets to know Newt a little better and falls in love. He quickly realises that Newt has been hurt in the past even without the constant messages from Theseus that hell is going to rain down on anyone in MACUSA even looking the wrong way at Newt.

I want to see Percival slowly gaining Newt's trust, then becoming part of his family and after months of careful wooing finally having his personal happy end.

Bonus: Newt has been in love with Graves for years hearing tales from his brother. The incident with Grindelwald was a huge blow to his ego until he realised that it wasn't Graves. Still he's too shy to make any first move towards the real Graves that is more than friendship.

Fandom: Star Trek

Michael Burnham/Mirror Gabriel Lorca:

Hearts Like Ours by justrunthroughthenightglo

When Prime Gabriel Lorca finds himself on the USS Discovery, he must prove to the crew that he is trustworthy, acclimate to being back in his own universe, solve a mystery which begins with Mirror Landry's ongoing scheme, and figure out why he feels so incredibly drawn to Specialist Michael Burnham.

Light your tinsel moon by @lesspopped

A mysterious phenomenon temporarily takes out the eyesight of Discovery's human crew. Everyone is looking for ways to burn off energy; Lorca and Burnham find a certain amount of freedom in the circumstances.

The Other by LadyFangs

Everyone has a secret. Some deeper than others. Sometimes, objects in the mirror are far closer and much more similar than they appear.

In which Prime Gabriel Lorca returns to his rightful universe only to discover that everything he thought he knew, and loved, is changed.

Michael Burnham/Christopher Pike:

The Other Half by @alethialia

Pike nodded. "You should let the crew know. We'll switch badges and get new uniforms to make it as clear as possible. I'll need to walk Kat through this one myself, though; some of the crustier admirals are gonna have a nutty."

Saru blinked; if he'd been harboring any doubts that he was talking to Pike, they clearly evaporated at the phrase "have a nutty" coming from Michael's mouth.

In the sudden silence: "Okay, but body-swapping?" Tilly asked, her tone hitting the sheer ridiculousness of it.

Tough Love by @alethialia

"Are you harboring a romantic interest in the captain?" Spock asked from across the mess hall table, eyes trained on her evenly, all-knowing.

They had been eating lunch. Eating lunch and finally talking and that had somehow led to...this.

Michael stared at Spock, completely thrown. "...what?"

Series: Respite by @alethialia

The Terran Pike comes to visit the newly-resurrected Captain Burnham on the Shenzhou and things get...heated.

The Trouble With Spores by @elenothar

One moment Michael Burnham is walking alongside Captain Pike in the dusk that comes startlingly early on Stellanis, contemplating suggesting they call off the fruitless search for their strange readings’ origins – the next she steps over some protruding roots and the world explodes into particles of light.

An away mission gone sideways leaves Michael and Pike unable to exceed a certain radius from each other. Turns out that keeping her feelings for him under wraps is easier said than done when occupying the same set of quarters.

No going back. by @wearethewitches

When it seems like the only way to further progress a negotiation between two Acamarian tribes is to let them plan a cross-culture wedding, Michael Burnham volunteers to be their guinea pig bride.

Her supposed fiance? Christopher Pike.

Stars, hide your fire by @wearethewitches

When Michael Burnham's Vulcan husband comes aboard the Discovery, it is discovered that things are not what they seem - and it may be up to Christopher Pike to set it right.

a needle pointing true by @elenothar

Humans have always had soulmarks, causing a lot of (unnecessary) drama that all other species shake their heads at.

All of Michael's marks, without fail, had needed months of knowing the other person to establish.

Less than two weeks after Christopher Pike came on board the Discovery her average is thrown entirely out of whack.

Readability by @elenothar

The most worrying thing about accidentally having linked her mind to her Captain's during first contact with a telepathic species is how little it worries Michael.

Chris has a less easy go of it.

Gen:

Watch the Stars Fall by @wearethewitches

When the Discovery goes through the wormhole, instead of Terralysium, they find themselves in an alternate timeline - one where the U.S.S. Kelvin was destroyed in 2233.

-

or, I want to fix Star Trek 2009 and now I actually have a plausible way to do it. Michael-centric, new plot and I refuse to name Vulcans an endangered species.

Deep Space Wives:

From a Small Moon by celestialskiff

Set during season one. Kira has always known she wants to be with women, but she's never had the opportunity to explore her sexuality. When she realises Jadzia Dax reciprocates her feelings, she can't believe her luck. Unfortunately, memories of her life during the Occupation of Bajor keep getting in the way of her relationship. (Please note this story contains references to past rape and to abuse. It also contains really quite a lot of consensual lesbian sex.)

Jim Kirk/Christopher Pike:

What They Made Me by KrazzeeAJ1701

Her mother, Frank and Kodos had all tried to break her, it just made her stronger in the end.

McSpirk:

Farrae Gunna by @straight-outta-hobbiton

Best, brightest, and most expendable. Leonard should have that printed on a t-shirt. That’s what the crew of the Enterprise is comprised of, after all— people who are the right mix of smart and bad. Why? Well, Leonard hopes to find that out.

#fic recs #juulna recs #fanfiction #star trek #star trek aos #star trek discovery #michael x pike #michael x lorca #michael burnham #christopher pike #gabriel lorca #mcspirk #kirk x pike #deep space wives #jadzia dax #kira nerys #star trek deep space nine #fantastic beasts #harry potter #potterverse #gramander #remione #sirimione #siremione #drarry #sshg #sshgrl #severus snape #hermione granger #remus lupin

[freemindedspirit]

Lol I was the one who talked about meeting JK in one of the videos about tf of JK. May be I might not meet him at all. But it was not a one time experience or a dream or a sign I had. Still I am not sure.

I feel like I need to clarify my situation. I was in no way attracted to JK in the first place. Just like everyone else I adored him. The golden maknae. Yes sure I loved him but it was never an obsession. I never watched his lives or videos because sadly I don't have that much time. Now I have even more responsibilities.

Someone in ur ask said that people assume they are his tf just after one sign or something like that. Was it that way in my case? Let us see. I will tell you whatever I have experienced.

It started in 2013 with a stranger visiting me in my dreams, it was a young boy coming and hugging me. It felt very real. I was just lying on my bed tired and maybe I had gone to sleep but that hug felt very real. Then they started visiting me sporadically.

I still remember that dream I had in 2018. Where I was with this stranger I think. He was very rich. We were in a very big room. A chandelier was hanging in the bedroom. I was crying.

Fast forward to 2021. I was very much into watching daily vlog of Japanese housewives. I found them very calm and peaceful. I somehow got so into it that I used to watch them regularly.

Sorry for the long post but there is still more. Somehow that same year I happened to see a song of BTS and I liked it. At first I couldn't tell who is who but slowly I started learning their names and repeating it in my mind whenever they appeared in the screen.

But slowly I started having depressive thoughts. I was glad that I found BTS. They are helping so many people around the world. Wonderful humans. But sadly in my case I was put to even more darkness. Those were the dark days. I was even feeling suicidal. Seeing the support JK was getting made me sad. Of course he is the golden maknae. I should be ashamed of myself for feeling like that. That was the time when I restarted writing poetry. People who have read them say I am really talented. Someone even told me that my poems remind them of poems by pablo Neruda.

I somehow found about twin flames during that time. One night I asked the universe to pls show a sign if I had a twin flame and the very next day I was followed by an inter racial couple on Instagram with whom I had zero mutual friends. The guy was from Japan and the girl from Spain. 11:11 was written all over their profile.

And now about my depressing thoughts. I had no idea why I was having these dark thoughts. I should be happy. Sadly that was not the case. Then I started avoiding BTS altogether. Until I happened to watch the opening ceremony of 2022 FIFA World Cup. I was not watching the ceremony but when I heard JK's voice after so long I literally had goosebumps. I felt an electric sensation going through my body and I was like whoa what was that. And upon seeing him I was like oh it is him and thought nothing of it.

And roughly 6 months later this funny I would say weird thought occurred to me. What if he was my tf? I asked universe to show me a peacock if he was indeed my tf. A real peacock actually came to our house 2 days later. We have no peacocks in our area. This one just casually flew over our front yard above my head. I felt something huge flying over my head and it was a peacock. I was bombarded with signs after that. Someone said if we ask the universe for a sign then we will start looking for them or manifest them into reality. I was really tired of the signs I was getting so one night I just prayed and asked the universe to guide me in the right direction.

You would not believe what I dreamed that night. I was walking holding someone's hand on an old building. We were talking about the tiles in the building. Later we were attending the wedding of an old couple with an age difference. I saw the holy fire and then we were on the beach watching the night sky. It was night time. Everything felt so peaceful.. Then I dreamed of everyone talking about JK on Twitter and something starting with bul or blu I could not make out. I was actually clueless and then I opened Twitter to see if something like that actually happened. I don't actually use Twitter that much but since I had seen the dream I wanted to check. There was this news that the CEO of Bulgari had followed a fan account of Jungkook on Instagram since he no longer had an account on insta and everyone was talking about it on twitter. I only asked the universe to guide me in the right direction. I don't know what it is doing.

I forgot to talk about a dream i had way back in 2021. I was almost asleep. Suddenly someone came into my dream. I did not see his face but from the neck below. He was wearing a light sky blue hanboek and wearing a thin string around the waist. I asked him why he was not wearing the thick band around the waist because that was how I have seen in the photos. He did not reply to me but instead hugged me tightly and it looked like we were in several timelines. We were going in circles and circles. Everything was going very fast and then I woke up with a start. That hug felt very real.

I will share another dream I had recently. It was an intense dream. I was lying on my bed very tired and I felt someone over me. It was JK. I could see his hair in the dim light. I touched his hair. I felt blissful. Everything was feeling very real. As usual I woke up with a start. For a moment I could not tell if it was a dream or real. It felt very real. It actually took me 2 days to realize it was just a dream. The very next day I had that dream a friend of mine told me she had a dream of me with JK. Coincidence may be.

I will share one more weird thing I have been experiencing. Whenever he is on a flight I experience a weird ringing feeling in the ears.it is like air getting into my ears or I feel out of balance. I am in no way up to date about his travels etc but sure enough after I experience this I always find out that he was indeed travelling. It has happened four or five times now. Strange.

I am not here to establish that I have a connection with JK but these experiences are far too real to neglect.

Sorry for this really long post but I don't know why people feel attacked when someone is sharing their experience. If at all I see him in real life I will most likely run and hide. I am a simple woman with simple dreams. I never had craze over money or luxurious items. But why is this happening to me. I know how much racism there is in South Korea and I do not wish to be a prey of it.

Whatever I have written above is 100% the truth. It is not in my nature to lie. Anyone who knows me in real life knows how simple I am. How much I don't interfere in others life and that one friend who is always reliable.

I hope that my experiences did not make u angry because none of those were my wishes. It just happened.

Another positive change I have noticed around me is that people have started behaving more positively towards me. People who have hurt me in the past are getting some karma. I feel sorry for them. One even told me how unfair she was to me in the past. But she needed my support this time and so I said it is alright. I cannot hold a grudge sorry. How much ever u have hurt me in the past I will always do whatever I can at the drop of a hat. Maybe I am naive. I don't know.

I hope u have a great day or night wherever u r. I wish love and happiness and prosperity to everyone in this world. Stay happy and be kind. On an ending note, this is in no way to establish the fact that I am his twin flame. I am totally a newbie and maybe these are all just limerence. I don't even know how the twin flame relationship works.

Bye have a great day or night!!

Let's do this point by point.

A "good" sign would be considered as such if it answers certain criteria.

Is it precise, unique and not easily replicable ?

for example, if you ask to see white bird but your area is full of pigeons, you are more likely to see one, so it might not be a good idea to choose this as a sign.

Can it be caused by your own actions consciously or unconsciously ?

If you ask for 11:11 as a sign, you may be looking at the clock more, so you are more likely to see it. If you ask for something in your dreams, it might jut be your own brain bringing what you thought about all day in your night.

Did it feel like a sign ?

When it happened, did you feel anything ?Did it intuitively feel relevant ?Or did you only link it up after something else happened ?There is not necessarily a wrong answer here, but what you felt matters in making sense of something.

If unsure, think about checking with your guides directly, through divination or more signs.

Now, onto your experiences.

The first two dreams could literally apply to anyone, not just jungkook . It could be about a spiritual baby, two different people in your soul family, guides, or even completely unrelated reasons. As such, i'm a little iffy about considering them signs. Within the context of your life they may have made a lot more sense, but they are a little bit far from the target, because they are not precise.

The "meeting BTS in dark days" phenomenon is incredibly common.Most ARMYS experienced this.This only tell me you are what i call a "soul ARMY", which means that BTS helped you on you karmic or spiritual growth.

The interracial couple thing? Super iffy as well. Algorithms are very good at making links, and if you were already a BTS listener, it likely arranged you around Asian interracial dating, as it is a very common topic of interest for them. If the couple was some sort of influencers, they were likely searching for followers who would like their content, or worse they were a spam.

The goosebumps can be just a general reaction to good music.if you already felt goosebumps for other songs, it may not be relevant.It might be if you are not usually sensitive to music (but tbh, if you weren't at all i would say it's even a bigger sign you are not his tf).

The peacock thing so far is the only one i could list off as an actualy sign of anything.It is only one sign though.

The first part of the dream could again be anything. The second part seems genuinely premonitory, in which case good job for developing that skill !

The dream about the hanbok could once again, apply to literally a whole country population that is not JK.

The dream about JK is again a meh sign.It is very common for people to see BTS members in their dreams, and some of the members even havea history of dream hopping to go see ARMYs who are struggling, so it would be kinda hard to use this a tf sign. It just shows again you are a soul army.

The dream about the cycles could be anything from random to just a show that you have shared past lives with jk, which is again not that uncommon.

The ear thing is incredibly interesting though, and it is a kind of thing you could see in a telepathic soul bond, which includes but is not limited to twin flames.

This last part about your personality and behaviors, it only make you seem young. Only you know what is in your best interests, but please make sure you have boundaries in place.

Have a great day and night too! And please don't hesitate to reach again if you need more help.

#twin flame shit

[augustfandi]

August's interview with Kinopoisk Russia (November 10, 2021). I translated from Russian and I am not native. If there is a mistake, I am so sorry. Have fun!

- "Woland" is your second project based on Russian material (the first was "Kursk"). Is it an accident or do you have some special interest in Russia? What is it connected with?

• Yes, I have always been interested in Russia, especially literature and music. I have always felt some kind of connection with your country. Perhaps the thing is that I grew up on Russian fairy tales. I remember Baba Yaga from childhood. (Laughs.) In a working sense, the first project was the theatrical "The Seagull", with which we first went to Russia. It was 20 years ago at the Chekhov Festival, I played in Treplev's Moscow Art Theater. Then I came to the MIFF twice. I don’t even remember what films. In any case, then it was a completely different Moscow.

When I became interested in cinema, I immediately fell in love with Tarkovsky. It seems to me that to this day nothing has had a similar effect on me. Music - I don't even know where to start, it's so rich. But, in general, I am not unique in this enthusiasm: there has always been a connection between Russia and Germany, long before the revolution. It's something on a subconscious level, it's hard to describe... A gigantic topic, you can write books here. I don't even know what to call it. There is a certain common space, mutual understanding, much more significant than between France and Russia or Italy and Russia. Perhaps there is some connection at the linguistic level or in the abundance of tragedies that occurred in the 20th century in our countries.

- I wonder how it happened that Russian fairy tales were read to you in childhood? Are they popular in Germany?

• Oh yeah! Along with the fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm, Russian fairy tales are very popular!

- You say that 20 years ago the country was completely different. What are your impressions now?

• I am surprised by the technological effectiveness of your life. In Germany, people still pay in cash or by card, but here by phone. In this we are far behind. Much I imagined differently, but much coincided with my expectations and with what my brother told me (Jacob Diehl is also an actor; one of his famous works is the TV series "Dark".).

- Did you learn Russian for the role?

• The offer to play Woland came quite shortly before filming, I simply did not have enough time to learn the text in an unfamiliar language. If I had known about this a year earlier, perhaps everything would have been different. But I played Woland in my native language. In principle, in the history of cinema there are enough such cases - for example, spaghetti westerns. They were filmed in different languages ​​and then voiced. Although I'm still worried and I'm already starting to learn the text - I will voice Woland in Russian.

- I know that you read Bulgakov's novel twice before Woland. How has the perception of the book changed from time to time?

• Already even three times. I read this novel for the first time when I was 18-20 years old. At that time, we had a real fan club of The Master and Margarita at our school. It was a romance that many associated with drugs, Satanism - in general, with what teenagers are usually addicted to. Then I did not really understand him. It seemed to me too psychedelic, too cumbersome. I was ill with Dostoevsky then, all other literature did not interest me at all. Later, I re-read the novel in Alexander Netzberg's new translation and was absolutely delighted. And not only from history and coverage of topics, but above all from Bulgakov's language. It has incredible humor, poetry, impudence - a unique combination for Russian literature.

- There is a whole literature about The Master and Margarita in Russia. What is this novel about for you?

• Hmm, tough question. For me, The Master and Margarita is like three novels in one. The first, which serves as the basis for the plot, is a look at Russia in the 1930s from space or from the point of view of the devil. It presents the most extensive panorama of life at that time, and it is Woland, who has been living in the world for a long time, that gives Bulgakov this opportunity. There is a lot of satire in this part, but it still cannot be called pure satire. What happened in the USSR in those years is shown very realistically and reliably, albeit with a strong mystical tinge. The second novel is a story about Christ and Pilate, and the third is the novel itself, a love story, obviously based on the life of Bulgakov himself. It is also interesting how many motifs inspired by Goethe's Faust are there. Due to this complexity, it is not possible to accurately define the genre of the novel. Americans call this helter skelter - chaos, a nightmare, which in the finale gives catharsis. And it is interesting that the devil here turns out to be a figure who frees the heroes

- And which of these novels is your favorite?

• I like the whole part with Pontius Pilate and Ha-Nozri the most. Yes, and in terms of language, Bulgakov becomes a poet here.

- Who was your favorite character?

• Of course, Woland! But it seems to me that I am not the only one, everyone likes this hero. This is the main character of the novel, if there is one main character at all. Formally, the Master is important, but in fact there is very little of him in the novel. The rest of the characters form a complex puzzle, but it is Woland who assembles it.

- So you were not at all upset that you were offered to play the devil, and not a romantic hero like the Master?

• (Laughs.) Having read the novel, I would by no means want to play the Master. We meet him in a lunatic asylum, he is already at the end of his journey. What is there to play? In our film, however, he has a more significant role. But if I immediately after the first reading thought about who I want to play, I would ask Woland or Koroviev. Koroviev is the coolest role. He is Satan's assistant. Even Woland is partly in his shadow.

- Now I can’t help but ask how the film differs from the novel.

• I hate this expression, but: I don't want to spoil it. I repeat, the difficulty is that in the novel there really is no main character, but in the film this is necessary, otherwise the viewer will not know with whom to associate himself. We have a Master in this capacity. This, of course, entails significant changes in relation to Bulgakov's text. The love story in the film is also much more detailed than in the novel. So the main character is the Master, the antagonist is Woland, and between them is Margarita. But I play another role, since the action takes place on different levels of reality. We have different levels. The one who comes to Moscow is a Foreigner. And he becomes Woland already in the novel that the Writer writes. That's it, I won't say anything more. (Smiling.)

- And how did you work on your image? What is your devil?

• During the preparation, I studied different images of the devil, he can be completely different. There is Mephistopheles, Satan, Lucifer - we meet all these names in Bulgakov. I decided that it would be an easy, ageless gentleman who looks at humanity like a tourist looks at a foreign country. He is inquisitive, he is never bored, despite the fact that for 800 years or already 1000 years he has been participating in the same endlessly repeating game.

- In Russia, "The Master and Margarita" is a novel that everyone has read, and each of the readers has already filmed their imaginary film adaptation. Aren't you afraid of such responsibility?

• I have long been accustomed to this responsibility, it is familiar to every theater actor who plays Hamlet or Treplev. About these heroes, each viewer has his own opinion. So for me it's just part of being an actor, nothing new. In general, of course, I worry before each project. But it's a pleasant excitement. Of course, Woland is a challenge. Yes, the whole movie. As well as the fact that I, a German, play this role in Russia. But I love challenges, risks are the most interesting thing for me.

- It is interesting that before the role of Woland, you played Franz Jägerstetter, canonized as a saint, in "A Hidden Life" by Terrence Malick.

• Yes, it's very funny how it all happens. I never thought when I was filming "A Hidden Life" that in three years I would be playing Satan. But before that, I played evil fascists and could not think that in three years I would play the role of a saint whom the fascists killed. I also like this in acting: you never know what awaits you next. You can, if you wish, see the relationship between these works. In a sense, Woland is also a saint. In general, I see some solid line between my roles, an internal logic in their sequence.

- And if you take these two jobs, which one is more difficult?

• I don’t even know how to compare a fictional character with a real one. It's like comparing Bach and good pop music. What's better? I do not know. After all, both are music.

- I also ask because both of these films are dedicated to the 30s and 40s of the last century. What was this era, in your opinion?

• These years were key years for both our countries, for Europe, for the whole world, and it was they that shaped the world in which we now live. This is the time of the biggest catastrophes in the last 300-400 years. And at the same time, it was then that so many wonderful novels, poems, theatrical productions, paintings were created - an incredible combination. This time will always lead me to reflection. Everything we deal with today originates in these two decades.

- What should be the role for you to agree to it?

• Oh, that's a very good question! When I read a script, I read it as a spectator, I don't focus on my role. And if I read the script avidly, I want to see this film myself, then most often I say yes.

- Do you continue to work in the theater? What is the difference between theater and cinema for you?

• Yes, I continue, I need it. If I shoot for too long, then I start to be irresistibly drawn to the theater. I think that we all, even actors who have never played in the theater, but only play in the cinema, we all come from it. What a film actor does is like a photographed theater.

I have been working in a conventional theater for a long time and need it to this day. I like to work on the play for a long time, to participate in its life. There is nothing like it in cinema.

- And the last question. You played the saint, you played the devil. Is there any cherished dream role left?

• Hamlet was the role of my dreams, but now I don't even know ... Probably, there is no such thing now. Dream roles happen only in the theater, because there you can endlessly stage already existing texts, interpret well-known images. This is impossible in the cinema, there must always be something new there. I'd love to play Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver, but that's unfortunately not possible.

#august diehl #augustdiehlfan #аугустдиль #woland #воланд #master and margarita #мастеримаргарита #interview

[kodzumie-archived]

im not sure if i even remember the pseudonym i had on this blog, nor if i want, but all i know was that it was on the emoji display of your regular anons wall. that might serve as some sort of identification

though it mightve been the purple pixel alien, i can't be sure

regardless, time moves on; we've all progressed in our lives, we've grown. yet i cannot help but think about you, and what happened to you. you remained one of the most impressionable authors to me thus far; your articulate prose was a contributing factor, yes, but you were just so... kind. and sweet to us. it stuck to me like honey, never of the saccharine likes-- only that which was unbearably hard to wash off my skins surface

i don't know what happened to you, and i wish i knew-- it might be a bit selfish, or intrusive, given how we don't actually know each other, but gods... sometimes, in the back of my mind, i recount all the people ive come to be estranged with and i know your vague visage one of them, one of those i worry for. i hope you're okay. i sorely wish you're okay and well and alive

and i really, really wish that the possibility you're dead is false-- i almost need it to be, you had come to feel like a friend to me; your disappearance happened in early 2021, when covid was still relatively rampant. if what i fear has presumably happened, then you mightve contracted covid and passed. you mightve had your life unfairly reaped by others, too soon. that's what i thought had happened-- it's the only conclusion i have at my disposal, how i not, being honest?

maybe you felt burdened, maybe you ran away because of an external cause. that mightve been better, knowing you're still out there, somewhere, with a chance at happiness

if you're reading this, if you're alive and well (i hope you are. i wish you are), just... hell, i don't even know what i want you to know.

just know i care for you-- undoubtedly so. many people who have come to know you care for you, and i can bet some people on this blog alike i, care for you dearly, and wish the best.

p. s. ive recently discovered my penchant for literature, and i sorely want to ask you for advice on prose. on writing. on everything there is you could provide an answer to. some days i return to your published works and i attempt to mimic your style; is it because i envy you? because i want to be as good as you are?

or because i want to preserve you in some way-- in the thing i use daily? in poetry and art, that which i love the most?

... sometimes i beat myself up for being no where near your level, but how can that be reasonable? i just recently started practicing, and it's clear your work has had years of effort dedicated to honing your craft.

and i think, "they seem around college age. they've so much infront of them; i hope they've successfully chased their aspirations"

and i think, "i can be good. i can grow to be good. it will be okay"

and i think, i want you to be okay. of all things, above all things.

i want you to be okay.

i wish you were here

First and foremost—thank you.

Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. Thank you for your concern. And, of course, thank you for your kind words.

I’m truly blessed to have had such kind individuals to support me and my work two years ago. Please know, even in my absence, you’ve (all) been in my thoughts.

So, at the very least, I hope I can provide closure to you, in addition to my apology for leaving you with your worries for so long.

I am alive! Evidently.

Although a lot has happened since I left this blog—my mental decline culminating in an eventual breakdown and hospitalization—I’m better now than I’ve been in, well, ever.

So... Yeah! It’s been a bit of a ride on my end, and I’ve grown a lot since 2021.

The most obvious change being that I’m no longer the angsty fourteen-year-old I was when I used to run this blog—trying to grow up faster than I should’ve.

I still write (because without it, who am I?), and I still am present on Tumblr.

I’ve shifted my interests, I’ve been practicing diversifying my writing style, and it makes me beyond happy to hear you exploring literature as well!

I’m not sure how I can properly convey with words how thrilled I am to hear that I’ve been a source of inspiration for your pursuit of writing, but please do know that—from the bottom of my heart—I’m cheering for you!

Writing is hard.

It’s difficult, and it’s easy to feel like the expectations you set for yourself aren’t being met, and it’s so, so easy to give up.

But know that your words are true.

You can be good, better than good—you can be great.

And I hope, someday, I can be given the chance to read your work!

Truth be told, I struggle reading my older works, seeing as my style’s changed a lot since then. And, sometimes, it’s difficult to read my current writing.

We’re always looking for ways to become the best we can be. But isn’t that what’s so inspiring about creatives?

I remember our conversations!

(If you’re recalling correctly—then I do genuinely remember and hold dear the conversations I’d had with you, 👾 anon! I fondly look back on the drawings you’d send, and vividly recall how in awe of your talents I was).

I care for you. I’ve cared for you. And I will continue to care for you.

It’s a bit funny to think about, actually—how you look back on my writing and emulate it when, truthfully, I’ve always kept your drawings in mind and, too, have tried to emulate your talent in art!

I guess it goes both ways, our appreciation of one another, and it warms my heart to hear it.

Thank you for the fond memories.

Although I don’t plan on creating any new content for this blog, and I’ve passed from my interest in Danganronpa—you’ll forever hold a place in my heart!

I’ve decided against deactivating.

I’m too attached to completely sever the relation I have with this account and the people I’ve met (mutuals and anons alike).

So, if ever at any point you'd like to contact me, feel free!

Regardless of the reason, I’ll always be happy to hear from you. Even if we’re just friendly strangers online and don’t know each other beyond that, perhaps we can come to be close friends.

I’m sorry for vanishing, and I’m sorry for having worried you.

I hope, with every fiber of my being, that you’ve been alive, well, and happy. I hope you’ve been pursuing your passions, and that life has been treating you well.

If nothing else, know that—even in my absence—I’ve kept you in my thoughts.

Thank you for everything.

I hope we can meet again, my dear.

[late-to-the-party-81]

I posted 6,195 times in 2022

That's 4,283 more posts than 2021!

386 posts created (6%)

5,809 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sidepartskinnyjeans

@late-to-the-party-81

@angrythingstarlight

@christywantspizza

@jobean12-blog

I tagged 4,762 of my posts in 2022

Only 23% of my posts had no tags

#late to the queue - 3,181 posts

#lates fic recs - 2,120 posts

#bucky barnes - 1,180 posts

#bucky barnes x reader - 830 posts

#comment reply - 645 posts

#steve rogers - 502 posts

#marvel - 446 posts

#bucky barnes x you - 433 posts

#steve rogers x reader - 393 posts

#bucky x reader - 352 posts

Longest Tag: 56 characters

#𝐬𝐮𝐳𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Tomorrow is not too late

AN: This fic is for the lovely @maladaptivexxdaydreaming's Jardin de Poemas challenge, and who better to use than Ari? My chosen poetry prompt is in bold.

Whilst this definitely can be read as a stand alone, there is a brief nod to this little ficlet I wrote, so that could be seen as a prequel.

Beta by @navybrat817, divider by @firefly-graphics, mood board by me (with credits to those who took the photos)

Find my master list here

See the full post

277 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

#4

Learn your lesson

A/N: Have a thot for Chris Evan’s birthday. Can be read alone or as a follow-up to Language.

Check out my master list

Beta’d by @christywantspizza 

Mood board by me (Chris Evan’s hands pic by @riricitaa)

Divider by @firefly-graphics 

See the full post

279 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

#3

Whatta Man

AN: Well folks, I've beaten my own record for length of a one-shot. I could have posted this as a mini-series, but didn't want to tease y'all.

This is full of filth and I am not sorry in the slightest. This is a no-powers AU.

Mood board by me, dividers by @firefly-graphics and beta'd by my dream team.

Master list here

Pairing: CamBoy Sam x Fem Room-mate reader, Nat x Steve (Background)

Word count: 11k

CW: Fluff, Angst and SMUT!!! (inc both male and female masturbation, the former described in a lot of detail)

MINORS DNI

Do not copy/transfer/transform this work. If you see it posted anywhere but here or on my AO3 (Late_to_the_party_81) it has been taken without my consent.

“You want me to do what?”

Your voice rose to a high squeak as you processed what Nat had just asked. Your roommate at least had the decency to hide her face behind her hands, and peek at you from between her fingers.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, but Steve’s place is rented, and I own this apartment. It just makes more sense for him to move in with me than the other way around.”

You weren’t angry with her; far from it. You were pleased that her relationship with Steve had progressed to the next level and they were moving in together, but the fact that it meant that you had to move out had your head in a spin. You’d moved in with her two years ago when her younger sister, Yelena, had left to go to college and you were desperate to get out of your parent’s house.

You twisted your sweater sleeves around your hands as you tried to process everything.

“So, erm, I suppose I ought to start looking for somewhere else?”

You really didn’t want to have to move back in with your parents; you and your mom were too alike to be able to get on for longer than a few days.

“Well… about that. Steve and Sam have still got 9 months left on their lease, so Sam will be looking for someone to share with. Gives you a bit more breathing room and would make moving much easier.”

Nat’s suggestion made sense. You didn’t know Steve’s roommate Sam that well; he tended to keep to himself, but you’d never heard any complaints from Steve about him. Could you move in with a man you barely knew, even if his friends and yours could vouch for him? Well, when the other option was your parents, the answer was a resounding “Yes!”.

“Let’s hang out, the four of us. If I feel that Sam is someone I can live with for the short term, then we can set up a moving date.”

Nat squealed and threw herself at you, wrapping her arms around you and knocking you back on the sofa cushions. She peppered kisses all over your face, leaving red lipstick marks.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her over-enthusiastic gratitude. And anyway, how bad could living with Sam be?

See the full post

338 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#2

In the Hall of the Mountain King

AN: Choo-choo! All aboard the train to Pleasureville (via Wakanda) for @mobbucky's #trainfest.

This is not the fic I was planning for her celebration, but here it is! Dialogue prompt in bold.

Beta'd by the ever lovely @yarnforbrains and dividers by @firefly-graphics

As usual, this fic is not suitable for Minor's.

Please check out my master list.

Word Count: 3k

Pairing: M'Baku and Journalist! Reader

CW: Voyeurism, Smut (thigh-riding, fingering, p-in-v sex, unprotected sex), size kink, being restrained during sex, pet-names, M'Baku (thick-thighed daddy is a warning!)

See the full post

366 notes - Posted January 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Making Biscuits

AN: So this was a little silly thought by @duchessoftheheart, which I, with her permission, ran with. It's also my first solo Bucky x Reader fic.

Not beta'd, Mood board by me, dividers by @firefly-graphics

Check out my master list here

Pairing: Reader x Bucky; Alpine the Cat x Bucky

Word count: approx 750

CW: Fluff, mentions of smut, Alpine (she's a warning)

See the full post

386 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

It appears I love Elsie the most! 😘😘😘

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[just-two-blokes]

I've gotten a reblog from the 'Fanfic Writer Ask Game' from @dysfunctional-deity.

Thank you so much for your questions and for the heads-up about the asks button!💙🫂

🤩 What led to your interest in the fandom?

Ohh, that is a story.. I first watched the DA series at the end of 2019 / beginning of 2020. I liked it but decided not to dive deep into the fandom. I rewatched the whole series again a year later (2020/2021) and this is when it hit me with full force. I think it was mainly because I resonated so much with Thomas and I really loved the whole series including the first movie.

I started reading fics in 2021, literally consuming soo many fics (mainly Thomas x Richard). And since I love writing and always wanted to be part of such a fandom, I've decided to upload my first fic in August 2022. No regrets until today.

🤖 Are non-fandom friends aware that you write fanfic?

Yes, they are. I have friends who are in different fandoms but they know that I write fanfics and / or poems. I mostly show them my poetry stuff that I write but I like to keep my Fanfics to myself (and to my lovely mutuals in this fandom).

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Ohh, I love this question. I think it is either the first fic I've ever published in the Thomas x Richard fandom (wicked game) or my first multichapter story (Small steps over troubled water). I'm still ridiculously proud of this multichapter story.

#Fandom #Fandom stuff #ask game

[loustellaperry]

A Motivating Photo of Poppy Seed Bread

January 10, 2023

A photo of my breakfast from Staunton, VA while on a study away trip, a photo of a mug from the bed and breakfast we stayed at while on the trip, and a photo of my friend and I with our new piercings

Hi errybody!

I hope everyone had a good 2022. I grew a lot during mine (which kicked my ass, entirely. I literally lost my car). But sometimes the universe needs us to learn more lessons and honestly I probably needed a little humbled.

But don’t get me wrong, I had an amazing year. I went to England on a study abroad trip, I went to Staunton, and I reconnected with A LOT of old friends (which has been very good for my mental health).

As of now, I am preparing for the Spring semester.

Long ago when I was working on my book, I was in an awesome routine of waking up every morning at 5am. I’d read poetry on my first cup of coffee and get to work while I drank my second. This allowed me to spend a great deal of time on my book while still having a majority of my day for other things. This also forced me to get a favorable amount of sleep each night, which again was very good for my mental health. I count 2021 as one of my bet years. I just felt very in-control of my life. So, this year I’d like to readopt those positive habits.

On another note, I’m pretty hyped for Spring semester. I had a pleasant fall which allowed me to improve my school routine.

Spring has me at 15 credit hours again. Last fall was thee first semester during my entire college career, that I’ve successfully completed that many classes (honestly, last year was also one of my best years regarding success in school. It just hurt a lot). I’m hopefully going to be I will be continuing this schedule. Something that helped me feel comfortable with that many classes was the fact that one of them was online. None of my classes are online for Spring. BUT one of my classes are only one day a week (which is kind of a compromise in my book). Nevertheless, another one of my classes is an Honors course, thus I will be continuing to also push my limits comfort zone.

The first day of classes is on January 17th. Therefore, this week I must purchase my textbooks and some more sticky notes.

Oh yes, I was able to sync my blog to my Goodreads account so if you’re on there more than Tumblr, you can still read all of my mundane posts.

Love always,

Lucy

#writeblr #writing #writer #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #freelance #spilled words #write #writing community #free write #indie author #creative writing #life update #studyblr #update #blog post #Loustella Perry

[elenajournals]

Coming back for 2023!

I'm journaling again, with both words and art.

I let a lot of things go this year, for a lot of reasons. My author platform disappeared--no blog posts since March, a barely-there tumblr where I reblogged stuff in spurts but never promoted my work. I stopped reviewing books and posting to my booklr as well. (I am still reading, all the time, but I even stopped recording my books on Goodreads, which I had been using consistently since I found in 2015.)

A lot of times, when someone disappears from social media and come back, they cite depression, and given my history, I'm surprised to say--no, I wasn't depressed, I was busy with a new job, I was focusing my energy elsewhere, but also I was creatively stagnant in my writing and grappling with my lack of "success," and that damaged my motivation to do other creative things.

I needed the time off to figure out what I really wanted to get out of my creative practices, because the pipe dream of making money from it wasn't happening. (Y'all didn't see that part, because elenajournals was never trying to make even the slightest bit of money, this was the safe space where I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, be inspired by anything or nothing, and be answerable to no one. Those of you who found me randomly and followed me for pretty art journal pics would be forgiven for not even knowing I was an author, as I rarely self-promote here.)

But recently, a few things have changed. The one most relevant to this platform is that I found a (lightly used) guided transformation journal at a thrift store on Small Business Saturday during their half-off-everything sale. Sure, the first two pages of lessons, someone had already written in, but they gave up on the journey almost immediately, and I dearly love "used" things that have a history I can share in.

I've been writing in that journal every day since, and I'm not going to share those pages online. They're too personal, too intense in self-examination, and I'm simply not comfortable opening up publicly to that degree.

What the first three weeks of guidance have taught me, though, is that I have, for various reasons, completely cut myself off from anything spiritual, and that I need to make space for meditative practices in my life.

Hence, the return of art journaling. (Also slow stitching, which I may or may not talk about or chronicle here. Stitch journals are a thing, even a thing I've tried before, but I'm still figuring out if that's a good fit for me and if/how it would be practical to share here.)

Later today, I will finish the final spread in my Rose Journal, the found poetry one I started in 2017, and before this past week, hadn't worked on since January of 2021.

I picked that one to finish because it was the closest to done, it has small pages that I don't feel intimidated by (large blank spaces can feel so challenging sometimes!) and though I tried out many techniques and styles over the course of filling it, it was primarily a zentangle book and I felt comfortable returning to it with the goal of meditation-as-art, rather than Making Art to Maybe Impress Other People.

Over the next few days, I intend to photograph and post those pages, plus the usual finished-journal retrospective of my favorites. Also to talk about some of my journal-related goals and practices for next year.

Then it's going to be radio silence for a week, because holiday vacation with no laptop and limited time to be online. So yes, I will disappear again for a bit, if I haven't gotten enough done to queue. Though I'm sure I can find enough stuff from others to queue for inspiration, which was always half my blog (when it was active) anyway.

So that's the update. I know that I've said before that I'm coming back, and then little or nothing happens. That's why I waited until I actually had done some journaling before I said so, rather than feeling vaguely inspired, saying so, but not following through.

#elena rambles #personal

[autism-archey]

@hunter-sylvester tagged me in this, my very first tag game, so thanks hunter!! you are a pioneer of Metal Lords fan content, pls keep doing what you're doing!

3 Ships:

steddie, but listen, i don't Like season 4 of stranger things. i think the plot/writing was bad actually, but. i stuck around for steve, because damn they're good at writing characters and i loved his seasons 1-3 arc. steve & eddie have incredible chemistry that everyone else has already talked about but listen bro. what if they were t4t.

frerard, but listennn its for the DYNAMICS. i feel like frerard fics have like, mythologized this pairing into something distinct from those real people that are alive and exist. they've lifted the personas and adpoted them onto some really incredible works of fiction... there are archetypes and characteristics and relationship dynamics that i see over and over and over again, always distinctly non-normative and queer, and god dammit it gets me ever time.

i'm struggling to come up with a third... i think The Batman (2021) Selina and Bruce. actually yes this one definitely. god i fucking love those two. my heart like actually ached when she left at the end.

First Ship Ever:

This is going back a long time but I wanna say it was Stucky or Destiel that really had me first. which honestly i was right about that, those white guys have chemistry! i used to eat up post-winter soldier fics all the time and i always end up coming back to them. something about bucky on the run or holed up and scared as his memories struggle to come back, and then steve being the first person to be gentle with him. anyway

Last Song:

my god let me tell you. i listened to ethel cain for the first time today (Golden Age) and i immediately started like crying in the car and then i wrote more poetry than i have in maybe months? that was hours ago and i'm still neck deep in her discography =D

Last Movie:

Avatar: the way of water!!! Avatar is basically a new special interest for me and I'm learning sooo much about it. also this movie is Worth going to the fancy theater for.

Currently Reading:

Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. i think this is the first time I'm rereading the hunger games, and I'm so glad i picked it up over christmastime bc 1) i got sucked into it and finished it in like a day and a half; and 2) what an incredible fictional depiction of revolution. like katniss' character arc, the emphasis on solidarity and community over and over and over again, every detail adds so much.

Vine Deloria Jr.'s The World We Used to Live In, which is packed with American Indian stories on spirituality and medicine men. i only just started it but i'm clinging onto his words like they're air. which, in the busted concrete version of the world now, they might as well be.

Currently Watching:

Dimension 20's Neverafter, which is premiering weekly rn (too slow! agonizing!!) and is just beginning, but already getting really fucking good. I keep my copy of Grimms' fairy tales in the bathroom now lol and the stories are crazy. The boy who could not fear had me at the edge of my toilet fr!!

Currently Consuming:

i mean where's the post that's like "autism costs families $60,000 a year" "all that weed im smoking"

Currently Craving:

my boyfriend come back :( when you're here you always put my head back on my shoulders the right way but it gets all messed up every time you leave

i dont think i have anyone to tag but mayve i'll edit & update with a tag later!

#uh #idk wtf tag this as #thoughts #thiswas really fun actually and made me feel better off of a bad day :)

[maeglinthebold]

AO3 Wrapped

From this ask game.

How many words have you written this year?

438,169 posted to AO3, and though this is artificially inflated by a good portion of it being RP and continued works from 2021, I also wrote way more than that besides (isolated scenes, pure wank material, stuff that will never see the light of day, etc.)

I’d like to thank a new fandom getting its hooks in me (OFMD) and the ending of Roswell New Mexico being so inspiringly bad for those high numbers, up from 166k in 2021 and getting me almost up to my 2020 levels (514k). 

2. How many works did you publish this year?

69 - LMAO that was NOT on purpose.

(That's an average of 6.3k per fic.)

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

I really enjoyed writing Hell of a Night: it was angsty and dramatic, but I liked making Stede and Ed fight a literal Kraken before they could get back together.

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

World Enough and Time - OFMD, rated E, published at a sweet spot for people interested in reading Stede/Ed. I was proud of the use of contemporary poetry, though, and very proud of the goofy sex those old men got up to in that. 

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Start Where You Are (and Change the Ending) had some great conversations in the comments I feel like, mostly about Izzy. I wanted to get the antagonist thing right and not make him cartoonish. I feel I did that, but it’s way more work than I want to put into his character in the future, as I just don't care for him personally. Anyway, good conversations were had in the comments here, and that’s what I consider to be good feedback.

6. Favorite title you used

How the Mighty Fall (They Fall in Love) I suppose!

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist's songs did you pull from the most?

I think I saved myself from being a Fall Out Boy bitch by being a Halsey bitch first and foremost. Am I mad I used “The Lighthouse” lyrics for RNM fics before I started writing OFMD fics? Yes. Still mad. 

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Malexa with 28, followed by Blackbonnet at 16

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Definitely those two, Malexa and Blackbonnet. I not only can't choose between them but I'll add Kyle/Max/Liz, Michael & Liz, and Maria/Kyle as honorable mentions. 

10. What work was the quickest to write?

That’s not an entirely fair question because I have so many short works that I banged out in one sitting. Also I usually have no problem getting words down once I have an idea and I have the time: it’s why I love prompts. 

11. What work took you the longest to write?

What We've Built probably took the longest by word count ratio because I kept crying during the writing of it. 

12. How many WIP's do you have in your docs for next year?

Shhhhhh. If I don’t promise anything I don’t disappoint anyone (including myself).

13. What's your longest work of the year?

With @haloud, and also continued from 2020: I Was Just An Only Child of the Universe (And Then I Found You) (117,908 words)  

With @singerofsongs: Ask for forgiveness, never permission (41,989 words)

Solo, but also a continuation from 2021: Never Let You Go (40,800 words)

14. What's your shortest work of the year?

I had quite a few double-drabbles all coming in at 200 words (by Google Doc’s count, if not AO3’s): 

Deep

Hautdesert

Watching

Adrenaline

Aftermath

Reading

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

All of them. I have 17 works marked as incomplete and I will always consider them on my to-do list. Updates could happen at any time. You don’t know.

16. What's your most common "Additional Tags" tag?

Established relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Polyamory, and Humor. 

I made an effort to add “Humor” to my tags this year because it’s something I consider myself good at and thought I should advertise. 

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

By the numbers, Maria DeLuca, and that’s as it should be lol.

As far as an interesting new challenge, I’d say Stede Bonnet: it’s hard to reconcile him sounding fancy half the time and using scientific names for moths and yet also coming up with “Mr. Wavy-Blade.”  

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Alex Manes. Missing from most of season 4. Missing in our hearts since season 1. The version in my head is cool, it just kept getting harder and harder to reconcile him with canon. 

Also Izzy Hands, for reasons mentioned above. 

19. What's one pairing you want to explore next year?

I don’t know what new ones will grab me, otherwise more of the same! 

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Probably How the Mighty Fall (They Fall in Love)

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

5,792

22. Which work has the most comments?

I Was Just An Only Child of the Universe (And Then I Found You) but again, that one’s been going since 2020!

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

Yes, loads! It’s the best part about writing fic! Thanks to my rp partners: 

@haloud: Without Question, foolish men have tried, but only you have shown me how to love being alive, stranger in a strange land, Even If It's Just in Your Wildest Dreams, love and life lines, I Was Just An Only Child of the Universe (And Then I Found You), there is a lighthouse in the middle of the deep end, You Make Me a Believer, From Roswell with Love, Kiss Me Like Your Ex Is in the Room, 

@a-singer-of-songs: Ask for forgiveness, never permission, Tell me all your thoughts on God / Cause I'm on my way to see her

@lizzy-leo: Sinking in your Eyes, Chasing Golden Nights

24. Did you write any gifts this year?

Yes! In addition to my birthday ficlet gifts (Maeg's Hobbit Birthday Gift Ficlets 2022), I wrote a few other fics I gifted to people this year: 

The E-Word for @dr-lemurr

Embedded for @haloud

Oh, she's sweet but a psycho for @primalmusic

If You Really Loved Me You Would Share Him for @haloud

Drawn for @haloud

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

Yes! I got some lovely ones this year: 

You Bring Me Hope by @tasyfa

ours by @infp-obsessing-over-everything

i sleep to dream (the trail beneath your feet) by @haloud

26. What's your most common category?

“Multi” (the tag I use to indicate a poly ship) is my top category! 

27. What do you listen to while writing?

I like to watch video game playthroughs actually. Shoutout to @nyssaismyrealname for endless hours of HZD, HFW, AND GOW:R to have on in the background while I write.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

Though it’s still a WIP, I’m really loving Dangerous. Miluca Witch/Werewolf who have caught Hunter Alex and will probably fall in love with him knowing me. Turned Alex into a bunny rabbit so what’s not to love?

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

“And a stake to the heart kills you?” [Michael asked.]

“Doesn’t it kill everybody?” Alex chuckled. 

“Yes,” Maria said. “Though I don’t know about—what the limits are of blood healing us? Haven't had much opportunity to test it, luckily. But I’ve definitely killed a vampire with wood through the heart.” 

“Any kind of wood?” 

“Heh,” Alex interjected. 

“This isn’t Supernatural, Michael. It doesn’t need to be a holly branch or something.” 

“Wow, you…” Michael grinned. “You had that right there, didn’t you? For someone who claims her life is nothing like hit CW series Supernatural.” 

“Shut up.” 

Michael grinned. “Okay. Okay, how about garlic?” 

“No worse than any other human food.” 

Michael nodded thoughtfully. He would really miss eating if he became a vampire. Not like these Civil War vets who could only miss hard tack and gruel. “If I drop a bag of marbles…”

“I would be pissed that you dropped a tripping hazard in front of a disabled veteran,” Alex said sternly, but Maria laughed before Michael had a chance to worry he was serious. Alex smiled. “No counting compulsion.”

(From “Drawn.” It made me laugh.)

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

I had no idea I wrote quite that much! 🙃 Probably a cry for help.

#me #fanfic #ao3 wrapped #stuff i write

[slusheeduck]

I posted 2,940 times in 2022

That's 1,731 more posts than 2021!

65 posts created (2%)

2,875 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ferizuli

@sheepwithspecs

@sybalion

@cowsaresushi

I tagged 218 of my posts in 2022

#vivec - 14 posts

#sotha sil - 13 posts

#elder scrolls - 12 posts

#time for crab - 11 posts

#tribunal - 11 posts

#tesfic - 10 posts

#morrowind - 9 posts

#tes - 9 posts

#kingdom hearts - 9 posts

#voryn dagoth - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#the rage i feel every time i accidentally click on the elder scrolls fandom page instead of uesp because it's the first fucking option

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Count Only The Happy Hours

[I] [II] III. And so, great Nerevar, Azura-blessed and swift of blade, leapt high into the sky. His form obscured the sun, and with his grand descent, a legion of Nords were felled, struck by the glorious…

“That’s not what happened. Alandro said they ambushed the Nords with some Dwemer mercenaries.”

Vivec gave a sigh as Sil interrupted his reading; he should know, after nearly a month, that he really ought to turn elsewhere for critique. The boy was one of the most literal-minded mer he’d ever met; he was quite sure there wasn’t an ounce of poetry in his soul. He looked over at him in an attempt to give him a withering glance; no luck there, either–Sil’s nose was crammed in a book, one hand outstretched to summon a palm-sized ball of fire, then ice, then lightning over and over again.

“Tell me, Seht, have you ever heard the phrase ‘history is written by the victors’?” he asked, turning his chair to face him. Sil’s pale eyes peeked over his book, brows drawn together.

“I have.”

“The saying should be ‘history is embellished by the victors’.” Vivec leaned forward. “Now, can you dispute what I said?”

“What?”

“Can you prove to me that Nerevar didn’t leap up into the sky and blot out the sun?”

“I just told you, Alandro said…”

“I’m not asking about Alandro. I’m asking about Sil.” An elbow rested on Vivec’s knee, and his chin plunked into his hand. “Were you there?”

“Well, no, but…”

“But I was, and this is my account. Alandro has his own, Nerevar has his own, but this is the one I’m choosing to believe and write.”

Sil frowned at him, magic dispersing from his hand as he shut his book. “But it’s not true.”

“And you’re certainly welcome to think so. Perhaps you’re even right.” Vivec sat up, fixing his gaze on the boy. “But there are plenty of people like you, people now and people a hundred years from now, who did not and will not ever see what happened on the battlefield today. The gritty, boring details won’t matter to most people–close your mouth, Sil, I know it matters to you–they’ll want to experience the feeling. The pride and wonder I felt watching Nerevar’s victory. Plus, it’s much more fun to read.”

Vivec turned back around, picking up his knife to sharpen his quil. “And, now especially, it is very, very important that we build faith in Nerevar as someone capable and near-mythic. It’s hard enough getting the Houses to trust someone from a different House–which is why Voryn, for all my complaints, is very essential–and it’d be harder still for someone like me, who’s Houseless. But Neht is an outlander.”

Sil leaned in, curious. “Is he really? I thought he was Indoril.”

“Well, yes, in name. But he grew up somewhere on the mainland, and, as I’m sure you know, we Chimer get suspicious.” He glanced over his shoulder, giving Sil a little smile. “But you and I know the type of person he is. We have to get others to love him just the same, even if they never get the chance to meet him.”

Sil sat back, silent as he thought. Young as he was, his face was a closed book; Vivec couldn’t count how many times in his short stay that he wished for some sort of indication of what was happening in that head of his.

“But what if people find out it’s a lie?” he asked, mouth downturned.

“Well, they’ll need to find someone who was there to dispute it.” Vivec smiled as he jotted down another line. “And much like me and my egg, what ultimately matters is the outcome. Nerevar and his forces won the day, and we’re that much closer to reclaiming Resdayn for ourselves–with or without our Azura-blessed leader blotting out the sun.”

~

For all of Sil’s worry about the truth, news of Nerevar’s victory started to spread, and because of it, they were finding more and more support. Houses offering their arms where needed, and a few more mer agreeing to join them at their next base–a city, they’d decided, which would need a touch more subtlety than out here in the less populated isles, but would certainly be a much safer meeting point. They even had the very vocal support of a princess–who, as she wrote, despaired over the fact that she couldn’t join them until she was of age.

And, more locally, it seemed as though word found its way underground, too. Because one day, after a long visit down below–it was becoming increasingly clear that Nerevar, friendly to a fault, was staying far too long for it to simply be business talks–ended with Nerevar returning with a king in tow. King Dumac, to be more specific, ruler of the Dwemer; laying out the Nords had been the last bit of proof he needed that Nerevar’s plan was viable, and he was ready to talk strategy.

Though, in truth, the “planning” was more like a prospective spouse coming to dinner. While a bit of lip service was paid toward using Dwarven technology against the Nords, Nerevar and Dumac were joking and chatting, and each member of the council, for lack of a better term, were being introduced: loyal and noble Dagoth Voryn, who had been here from the start; quick-witted and swift-footed Vivec, who fought with all the same passion he put into his words; Alandro Sul, the immortal son of Azura. (Despite all of Vivec’s prodding, Alandro never did confirm whether that was simply a title or simply a statement of fact, which was terribly vexing.) Nerevar was quick to praise each of them.

But they weren’t wholly alone. Along with a few of Dumac’s retainers, a young boy hung near the table. Sil had said he didn’t want to talk, but clearly he’d wanted to listen. For the most part, he went unnoticed. But there was no ignoring the beacon his eyes became as Dumac pulled out what he called a “prototype centurion spider”–it was a little thing, about the size of Dumac’s wide palm, that looked somewhat like its living namesake. Sil, still silent, made his way up to the table as, with a little spark of magicka, Dumac brought the little contraption to life, metal legs skittering down from his hand and over the table.

“Obviously the ones we have below are much larger,” Dumac explained to the dumbstruck table. “The size of a nix-hound, I’d say. They’re better for repairing our other animunculi. For a true battle, we’d want spheres and centurions, of course.”

Nerevar grinned at the rest of the table. “I’ve seen them. Just about scared the piss out of Alandro and me, so I can’t even begin to think of how a superstitious lot like the Nords will react.” He looked up at Dumac, who was rumbling a laugh at his comment. “And this’ll keep our losses down, too.”

“Will they…work above ground?” Voryn asked, squinting suspiciously at the spider as it skittered past him.

“Of course! Down below we use steam to power them, but if you get a few mages and an amplifier or two to get them started, we’ll have a full army automated for battle,” Dumac assured. He glanced over as Sil set his hand in front of the spider, coaxing it into his palm to get a closer look at it. Even beneath his full beard, a wide smile was on display. “Do you like it, boy?” He leaned over as Nerevar beckoned him, listening to a very quiet, urgent whisper, but he nodded without saying a thing.

See the full post

31 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

#4

Time and Circumstance

Another malfunction, this one much harder to fix with his waning divinity. The end was coming soon, he knew. What he didn’t know was whether the Mechanical Heart would be ready in time. Rather than fear, a strange sort of amusement came over him at the thought.

It had been so long since Sotha Sil had been uncertain; the feel of it was rather refreshing.

~

He’d never liked the concept of gods. In his very early childhood, it was in imitation of his sister; how many times had she complained of rules and being told what to do? To him, in the simplicity of a child’s mind, there was no difference in the admonitions of their parents or the Good Daedra. If Nall said they shouldn’t have to listen to adults, then logically, they shouldn’t have to listen to Azura, either.

Later, not much later, it was in fury. If the Good Daedra could stand idly by as Mehrunes Dagon, their kin, laid waste to Ald Sotha for no reason at all, then who were they to dictate the lives of the Chimer…or of anyone at all? Worship, he reasoned that night as he choked on the scent of smoke that clung to him and the screams still echoing in his head, wasn’t only futile; it was an affront to mortality. And if he had his way, he would end it.

~

“What’s happened to you, Seht?” Almalexia asked him once, a few centuries after their apotheosis. “I hear you’ve hidden yourself away.”

“And who did you hear that from?” he asked. It wasn’t a denial, which made it a confirmation. Golden eyes narrowed at him.

“Vivec, of course,” she said. “He worries, you know. He won’t say so, but he does.”

“He still sees me as a soot-covered child.” The words weren’t scathing, they were simply a statement of fact. Of the three, Vehk had, unsurprisingly, always been the most in-tune with his emotion–the heart to Seht’s mind and Ayem’s will. Warrior-Poet that he was, he was drawn to the weakest moments of others–for those he loathed, to find where he needed to drive the knife; for those he loved, to find what he needed to shield. And, of course, tragedy made the best poetry.

“He worries about your fire,” she corrected, her natural inclination to chide still making him bristle a few lifetimes after his childhood rebellion. Nall, he knew, would have hated her for that. Sil liked to think he could see past it, on his better days. “We both wonder what happened to the impassioned leader unafraid to rebuke the Daedra in the name of his people. Where’s the mer who loved mortality so much he became a god?”

He never replied, and, to her credit, Ayem turned their conversation elsewhere. But he knew the answer well enough: that mer had died centuries ago, when he’d received his first prayer.

~

"The old gods are cruel and arbitrary, and distant from the hopes and fears of mer. Your age is past. We are the new gods, born of the flesh, and wise and caring of the needs of our people. Spare us your threats and chiding, inconstant spirit. We are bold and fresh, and will not fear you."

Vivec had a habit of embellishing his accounts, shaping words and memory to make events far grander and more poignant than they actually were. But that quote, that one he got right.

Now, Sil could see the words for what they were: a young man drunk on divine power, finally banishing what he considered the greatest imperfections on the planes of mundus. The cold gods of his youth who turned a blind eye to the destruction of his home, and especially the Prince that feigned warmth in the name of vanity, that tugged one of his dearest friends along and did nothing to help him live.

He’d experimented with the tools for this exact purpose, to give the Chimer the gods they deserved: flawed, broken gods, familiar with grief and rage and joy, who knew what it was like to be mortal because they were mortal. Gods that would listen, because they knew what it was like to go unheard.

He never thought beyond that. He was, after all, very young then.

While the power from the Heart might have been instantaneous, as had Azura’s curse, it still took a generation before the Tribunal, respected as they were, truly became gods in the eyes of their people. That suited them just fine at the time. The three of them used their powers to establish the Dunmer, a race not beholden to cruel gods or an exiled past. A race that had all the world to gain and next to nothing left to lose. They were kind, mindful rulers; Seht in particular utterly devoted to the people themselves, in all their misery and joy.

And then, he heard his first prayer.

It was a simple one, a desperate one–utterly mortal in its plea and delivery. A young girl was terribly ill, and her father prayed to him, Sotha Sil specifically, that she would live.

This was what he’d waited for, the mercy he’d craved for himself and was now desperate to give. And he’d healed plenty of others before. He didn’t even need to go see the girl himself; reality warped at his fingertips, and all of Nirn was open to his will. So, with singular focus, he pushed his power outward.

And stopped.

Two paths fell before him in his mind’s eye, each splintering off to hundreds of possibilities. But they all started with one simple choice: the girl lives, or the girl dies.

The choice was obvious, of course. The girl lives. And the moment he decided, a flash of every possibility appeared before him: famine, misery, abandoned homes and skeletons of guars in the fields. A feeling of absolute certainty that all would come to pass settled on him. He should let her die.

But no, that was ridiculous. One small girl couldn’t cause that much change. And even if she did, he would ensure that none of it came to pass. Reality was his to control, and he would wield it in a way that his people deserved.

And so the girl lived.

The girl living meant an extra mouth to feed. As she grew and married, there were now two mouths. Then three, and four, and five. The boost in population took its toll in the fields; there wasn’t enough to go around. But Sil saw this, and he once again stepped in. At his beck and call, the crops flourished, putting out double, triple the amount of their usual produce; animals bearing twins and triplets. The girl’s village prospered.

But even he couldn’t call up something from nothing. The crops flourishing meant the nutrients in the soil depleted. Soon it could grow no more than the ash surrounding it. The animals were weak from the unnatural circumstance of their birth, and their descendants weaker still. Soon, there was nothing left but dead guar and dried up fields, and the villagers that survived the famine had no choice but to leave. One life saved, but so many others lost. All just as he’d expected.

See the full post

42 notes - Posted March 23, 2022

#3

61 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

#2

233 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

My favorite thing about The Amazing Devil is that they've made "I'm at a party and I fucking hate it" into a music genre.

331 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[hekatekun]

hiii i really really love the way you write and the themes you touch on in your posts id love to hear if theres any books/media that influenced your writing style + the things you focus on in your analyses !

omg hiiii thank you<3 this got annoying so lemme put it under cut lol

This is actually really hard for me to pin down I've been racking my brains over this one. I tend to be a little bit of everywhere, just whatever catches my interest at the time. Most of my personal reading is nonfiction within the realm of philosophy/theology + history + english criticism; whatever fiction I do get around to tends to be horror and/or satire. House of Leaves by MZD actually has just about everything that tickles my fancy. Finally read it beginning of 2021 and I truly haven't been the same since. That's definitely a big one.

But to give you an idea here's the pile of books I'm looking at on my desk as I type this is: an anthology of John Wesley's sermons (founder of Methodism), House of Leaves, an anthology of Percy Shelley's poetry + prose, "The Sphinx in the City" essays on urban living + feminism, the communist manifesto, a dissertation on the influence of Hermann Hesse in Japan, "Thank God for the Atom Bomb" essays by a "conservative cultural critic", and how could i forget the 70pgs of the unabomber's manifesto i printed out.

Currently been slowly making my way through "Romanticism and Consciousness" which are essays on the historical/political background influencing Romantic literature. More often than not I tend to look for essays and critical readings of works before I actually do read said work proper. I don't recommend this btw I just never listen to my own advice. But like, this book inspired me to buy the Shelley anthology. And some of the essays in the Shelley anthology analyzing him I actually found online weeks prior and added them to my digital library. I'd rather read them physically, as I tend to highlight my books. I find highlighting + margin notes really help me stay focused otherwise simply Sitting And Reading makes me go a lil nutz unless the book really is that good. I backed an artist's first comic book that had me ensnared recently. Independent comics tend to do a number on me. Yes I'm still a huge homestuck fan. Will be going 8 years strong.

I reread Brave New World late 2020 after, somehow, getting my hands on it in middle school. Comparing the way the protagonist kills himself at the end vs trying to read Huxley's theological pieces, he should've stuck to the racist satire. I'm still gonna try to finish the Perennial Philosophy, though. All this rambling has me realizing the childhood series I grew up on was A Series of Unfortunate Events, so I think I'm starting to notice a trend.

But actually the biggest media type I consume is games I fucking love video games. I think I cried playing Disco Elysium. I wish more games understood its medium as well as DE. I think that's really what you have to find is stuff that understands its medium. Ososan is a show that is really fucking good at being a tv show, and I think it helps because it doesn't necessarily draw from anything prior because it's such a different beast from osokun (the ososan manga actually came out like a few months after it aired I learned recently).

I don't watch many movies or shows, and the ones I do make me really wanna read the original source material just so I could compare (A Clockwork Orange, American Psycho). I just last watched the Belladonna of Sadness and I think that's an animated movie that understands it's an animated movie. Why go for realism when you've got watercolors?

My other main criteria for any piece of work is that it makes me want to pick up smoking. I don't think I could explain this further if you asked.

Aside from. Any of whatever I just said. My writing background is largely academic with some journalistic experience. It makes media analysis really easy. It also helps that there's technically no wrong answer when it comes to critical readings, just like any school essay you just have to be able to back up your claims with evidence and articulate the connections you see. Prose is a new beast that I am attempting to tame but I think 1. You need to have fun with the learning process and I do in fact enjoy learning. This includes a willingness to examine and reexamine your own words even after you're done working on a piece and analyzing what you can/need to improve on. 2. I really enjoy being able to construct a sentence in a million different ways and I will always have a tab open for the Merriam-Webster dictionary-thesaurus while writing ANYTHING. 3. Did I mention having fun? I really have fun writing I love writing as a hobbyist. 4. Consume and question everything in equal measure. This will eventually produce something.

#ask #i hope i answered this well enough this is fucking word vomit lmao

[electricbluebutterflies]

I posted 5,390 times in 2022

That's 1,443 more posts than 2021!

562 posts created (10%)

4,828 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ourconversationranshort

@withahappyrefrain

@apple-grass-and-smiles

@amandamonroe

@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

I tagged 2,638 of my posts in 2022

#queue - 1,092 posts

#ebf liveblogs life - 359 posts

#trope weakness tag - 115 posts

#ebf writes fic - 99 posts

#poetry - 83 posts

#flashing gif - 73 posts

#reminders - 65 posts

#humans being human - 62 posts

#context doesn't help - 62 posts

#life tips - 58 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#dude is from here and anyone who learned to drive in/around cinci knows the traffic patterns haven't changed since the interstates were put

My Top Posts in 2022:

(four out of five are ficlets so under the cut...)

#5

Garcy + I cannot kiss you and I want to.

Usual canon-divergence, pre-relationship, PG-ish, and also on ao3.

The timing is never right.

The timing is never right, and it’s tearing him apart, and to know that there is light at the end of this should be powerful enough but not anymore. Not as the time gets closer, not as she gets closer.

He had memorized the ending portions of her journal before he met the version of her that exists in his timeline – the possibility of parallel universes has occurred to him as a certain explanation, but the version he thinks of as his Lucy has some differences from the alternate version of herself who stopped him from committing a desperate act. She’s more fragile, for one. Has not yet become all that she will be.

And he loves her anyways, and he cannot do a damn thing about it, and perhaps this is some kind of purgatory and he deserves every moment.

A memorized timeline and he still has a year to go, and the waiting gets worse with every passing day, every step closer to this woman who still does not see her power. She has plenty of people on her about her abilities and potential, yes, but it’s more… the inner strength of her, the patience on the long days and bad nights, the fact that she has never given up on him even when he was unforgivably terrible to her and still she-

Flynn has never been a great believer in the idea of soulmates, and fate as a more general concept didn’t make sense to him until his previous life was torn away, but there is something deeply comforting in knowing that there is still a future ahead of him and every bit of it is wrapped up in this tiny damaged woman who in turn will go supernova because of his faith in her. They save each other. That was the last part of the journal, followed only by a set of words no version of her would understand the significance of unless he had loved her and-

The timing isn’t right yet, but he still looks at her and wants to know what she feels like in his arms for purely emotional reasons, what she tastes like, how she would move over him and-

He is brought out of his distracted state with her hand on his shoulder, and he realizes that he cannot remember what he is trying to read or anything else around him but her.

“Something wrong?” she asks, and he has made progress as a person these past few months in particular but there is still a unique purity to her worries and he-

“You shouldn’t be so close.”

She glances away for a moment and he can feel the unspoken thought of here-we-go-again and yes he knows it is a certain kind of improper to inflict his wayward emotions on a woman with no real obligation to handle them but is it truly wrong if they are in balance on this, if she does the same in return as often as she does, if she-

“What did I do now?” and oh the sadness in her voice, her wide eyes, this tragic woman who has been treated like a mistake too many times and-

“The timing isn’t…”

“Timing for what, exactly?”

Hell with this, he’s never been one for holding back and this feels like a strange enough exception and time to end it.

“I cannot kiss you. And I want to.”

“Because of the journal,” she finishes.

“Yes.”

“Things have already happened that weren’t how you memorized them,” she reminds him. “We don’t have to follow some script because-“

“I am trying to protect you.”

“What you’re actually doing is frustrating the hell out of me. What you say and what you want… shouldn’t be different things.”

But they have to be, he wants to say. They have to be or else he will hurt her, they have to be or else-

She closes the distance before he can stop it from happening, and it is the lightest most innocent breath of a first kiss, and he is unraveled.

“There. Technically, you didn’t kiss me.”

“Still…”

“There is no right time. Maybe there has never been and will never be. Be in this moment with me.”

He is not ready, and he knows that will be respected clearly enough, but for a moment he can almost let her be right. Maybe there is no right time, he repeats. Maybe there is only this.

Every instinct in him says this is still not quite enough, but he memorizes the taste of her, lemon lip balm and sweet-sadness, and not now but soon.

19 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

#4

“you look better in my clothes than i do.” for Garcy? Pretty please?

Y’all know where this goes. Pre-relationship-ish, PG-ish, also on ao3.

He justifies it for a long time, perhaps too long, the same stubborn way he approaches everything else with her.

Lucy is both small and not used to colder climates such as this place in the middle of nowhere – exact location unknown to them for safety purposes, but somewhere up close to the Canadian border, Flynn has figured out that much between the snow and the size of the wildlife outside. He has survived worse and will do so again, knows how to adapt for weather. She… hasn’t.

There is never enough preparation, in their own time or any other. They know this by now. It is the least he can do to offer her one of his sweaters, soft and in a good dark red color, and allow her to nest.

What he does not expect, and what he should see coming by this point, is that she takes this as invitation. Lucy is not used to kindness, it is frightfully apparent, but if given an inch she takes everything she can. Just as a few late nights of conversation led to her occupying an armchair in his room instead of a bed in her own, so does one little offering give her permission to go through his things and claim whatever she wants for warmth.

By the time winter starts to fade, and it is longer here than either of them expects, her default outfits are borrowed sweaters over leggings and no one else bothers to say anything to him about it. And if she has to defend her choices, he doesn’t hear about it, which makes him suspect no such thing happens because he would. Dynamics are improving, he reminds himself, dynamics are improving but imperfect and-

It is so normal now to slip into their room with as much grace as his body allows and see her as she always is, nested in that chair, most of her body tucked up in whatever sweater she’s decided to hide herself in today. It has been months since this pattern started. It has been months since he’s bothered to question any part of it.

She glances up at the sound of the door closing behind him, and it amazes him how they are comfortable in silence, the two of them the most vocal members of the team but not together, not like this, not-

“Something wrong?” she asks after a few moments.

He is unsure how to answer that question, unsure what he’s even doing to worry her. Motionless and watching her, yes, but is that unusual? They are comfortable now, he reminds himself, she moved in of her own free will and has made herself a perfect roommate and-

“No?” He can’t figure out what she’s seeing, and they can’t get in each other’s heads quite yet, so-

“Staring at me.” Lucy uncurls her body enough to make better eye contact with him, and it’s clear enough she’s not bothered so much as just a little concerned. “Like I’m… I don’t know what you-“

“You look better in my clothes than I do,” he says too quickly in the way that all reverent and fearful things must be said. “That color accents your hair.”

She glances away, slightest hint of a blush forming, and he overstepped, he can see that, he-

“At least you’re creative,” she murmurs. “Never gotten that compliment before.”

“You were never the clothes-stealing type?”

“Usually didn’t last long enough to get a chance.”

They don’t talk about her past. Other than the parts she didn’t even know about until recently, it hasn’t seemed important. As compared to his own scarring, hers has less opportunity to damage them, and maybe that’s an oversight, maybe-

“I don’t mind,” he says, because he needs to.

“I know. And I try not to wear-“

“You could. All that is mine is yours.”

He means it innocently enough, in the way that she rummages through his sweater drawer for warmth and if she needs an old t-shirt for her threatened scheme to paint the bathroom then she’s welcome to that too. But he also means it in the deeper ways, those that lives are made out of. What little he has left, and whatever lies on the other side of their war, she is welcome to. He has felt this way for a while now, and waited perhaps too long to say it, and-

“Too bad I don’t have anything to offer in return,” she says too quiet.

“You keep me company. More than enough.”

22 notes - Posted February 28, 2022

#3

and it always leads to you in my hometown

Post-canon-divergent Hellcheer... fluff-adjacent? Someone described this as a dark-chocolate kind of fluff so we're gonna go with that. PG-ish and also on ao3

It becomes a routine, in the way of such things.

Chrissy gets out of Hawkins, to the surprise of most people who know her, packs her important possessions ten days after graduation and leaves a note saying she’s going to try to start over in Chicago and makes sure to call home two days later to confirm she’s still alive. She finds a life for herself in the inner suburbs, gets a job as a secretary at a law firm, starts taking night classes to become a paralegal. Does okay, in the grand scheme of things. Calls her parents every other Thursday night like clockwork because family is still family, but tries to block out the voices in her head otherwise. Heals.

But she comes home for the holidays every year, because she’s still a nice girl even if she didn’t really keep in touch with anyone from high school. There’s still the obligation to remind people that she exists and is living a mundane but happy life, and no she isn’t seeing anybody but her dog’s real cute, and what may or may not have happened in spring ’86 matters less and less every winter.

She has routines. December 23 is one of them.

The thing about her leaving that didn’t make it into the local story was exactly who disappeared for three days that summer to help her, out of the goodness of his heart and a sense of obligation after she did almost die in his trailer a couple months earlier. They became friends after that, in a trauma-bonded opposites-attract sort of way, and by the time she realized her plans would be easier with a getaway driver it was a logical enough option. Eddie is good people under all his armor, Chrissy had learned by then, one of the most loyal people she’s ever known, and that too became a routine phone call, every Saturday around noon, only real thing tethering her to what hasn’t felt like home in years and-

He stayed, to the surprise of pretty much everyone who’s ever met him. He had a younger herd of misfits to supervise for a couple years, and before that project ended he tended bars across two counties and turned out that was enough of a life, and there are people who need him, and he never really was the sort of person who actually gets out of southern Indiana, and-

December 23 is their routine, a standing meetup at dusk at a particular park shelter. Not always the only time they ever see each other – the band came up to Chicago twice this past year for different gigs and he ended up on her couch both times because he didn’t feel like being crammed sardine-style in a cheap hotel room with the other guys – but the high point of her year if she’s honest with herself. Every year she waits for something to go wrong, for him not to show up or there to be a ring on his finger that wasn’t there last time or-

She looks different now, looks different since he came up back in August – a week or two after that she decided she needed a change and she wanted a haircut like Princess Diana, and wow was that a mistake, and it’s at an awkward stage of growing-out and there was no way in hell she would’ve been able to stuff all of that in a hat. Every year she’s a little more worried about how she looks, the genuine kind of worried not like she used to be when she thought that was all she had, more like…

Chrissy is, in her way, a little bit in love. Turns out she’s a bit of a loner if left to her own devices – she has a lot of acquaintances and does get out of her apartment enough, but no one really close – and if she has to be one cliché then let her be this one. Let her be the woman who never quite got over the high-school crush she never admitted. Let her be-

Eddie’s sense of time has never been reliable, and he’s a little late but not quite enough to worry her. He’s changed too, in little ways – she can’t remember ever seeing his hair pulled back but she knows that’s probably more practical than aesthetic, and it looks like he hasn’t shaved in a day or two longer than whatever his usual routine is and goodness she shouldn’t be thinking about yanking him down and-

“You’re here,” he says, and this is why she kinda loves him, the enthusiasm in how he approaches life, no false fronts just raw emotions at all times and no self-consciousness whatsoever.

“So are you.” She can feel herself blushing, and she’ll blame the cold for this, same explanation for her hands in her pockets because she’s not sure what kind of physical control she actually has right now. At least it isn’t snowing this year. At least-

“Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“What, you don’t have better plans?”

“I have my choice of burnt hams for the next few days. Tonight is all yours.”

The thing is, she’s not sure there was ever a time when they didn’t flirt like this, like there’s always that line they’ll go right up to but never cross. She knows he thinks she’s pretty in the most real way, and he’s been a nice daydream over the years, and-

He pulls her into a hug, and he smells like boy and home and she’s a little overwhelmed. “Keep waiting for you to cancel because you got some lawyer to put a ring on you,” he murmurs. “Can’t imagine they’d-“

“Lawyers aren’t my flavor,” she counters. “And you haven’t met some girl down here?”

“I’ve met too many girls,” he laughs, and she knows, there have been a few mistakes over the years that she got to talk down in the way only an out-of-state phone call can resolve. “Nothing stuck.”

She can’t hope. She does anyway.

Normal people, Chrissy tells herself, don’t do this. Normal people don’t linger in long-distance mutual pining for so many years because they’re too damn fragile to think about anything more. Normal people, like she’s trying so hard to be, don’t-

“Any reason for that?” she asks, and her breath catches and they’re both too close and not close enough for the conversation she suddenly needs to have right now.

“Thought you’d never ask. See, the timing keeps not being right, and who the hell am I to compete with a dog with a ridiculous name, and-“

“Excuse me, Peppermint is not-“

“So, you know. Waiting on the girl who got away is a little distracting.”

“I’m right here.”

“And you won’t be in four days.”

“You could come with. You didn’t complain about my couch last time, Peppermint likes you, and… you’re better than this.”

See the full post

33 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#2

Drukkariiii

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa both of them, but Druig is far, far worse.

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them both.

Who starts the tickle fights Makkari. Whaaaat, she's tactile and she wants attention!!

Who starts the pillow fights Makkari. Again, attention. It's EFFECTIVE.

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile can go either way.

Who mistakes salt for sugar both of them with about equal frequency.

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning Makkari has a valid excuse for how frequently this happens.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines Druig. Does it not work even in a romcom? Too bad, he thinks it's cute and he's gonna say it anyways.

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order Makkari, although it's more like her organizational system changes whenever she gets bored and... it's varied on explainability.

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies Makkari

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion honestly these babes + candles is a bad, bad idea. Like, make sure the fire extinguisher is within reach kind of bad idea.

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen Makkari. Again, tactile.

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation Makkari

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines neither?

35 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Garcy + "Quick, kiss me!"

(bonus points for fake marriage on a mission, and for Flynn saying it)

Height difference is a good time, just saying. Usual post-canon-divergence / pre-relationship / PG-ish / also on ao3.

There are, as time passes, a few defaults.

It’s nice to have routines, really. This whole war across time thing doesn’t allow for a lot of stability, and Lucy has picked a very bad time in her life to decide she wants that after all, and she is taking what she can get. And even as dynamics improve every day and they’ve all come to function as a messy but loving extended family of sorts…

Look, Flynn’s people skills are now at least existent, but she’s still the only person he likes. And that means she has to keep an eye on him, because improvement does not mean stripped of certain personality traits that are prone to causing a lot of problems very quickly, and she’s apparently the only person that has ever lived who has ever actually been able to tell him to stop and get results, and either the dead wife must’ve had the patience of a whole cathedral worth of saints or the violent tendencies are a more recent development and neither of those options makes Lucy feel any better and-

Routines, she reminds herself. She likes routines. Even if in this case routines mean she is stuck herding a grouchy tank of a man around eastern Canada. It’s fine. Really.

It’s 1919 and the mission involves making sure the first nonstop transatlantic flight happens without problems, which entails wandering around in the vicinity of a questionably constructed airfield that might as well have a No Girls Allowed sign up on a fence somewhere from how well their side has been going. No cover story has been discussed, but the default is to pretend to be married, default enough that Lucy slips a ring onto her finger before a mission even starts and it feels weird to not wear it in her own timeline and-

How much she likes being fake-married to someone she hasn’t sorted her feelings about will be a fun problem for whatever government-clearance therapist gets to try to untangle her life in a few years, if she lives that long. It is not a problem for right now.

Point is, this is the easy but boring side of the mission, the part Lucy has a similarly mixed relationship, not the worst thing in the world but she could be so much more useful if she had a better idea what they were looking out for in the first place, if-

All of a sudden, Flynn stops, cold and with that wild look in his eyes and there is something feral in that man, Lucy thinks, something primal that has been awakened by pain and cannot be quieted and-

“Quick, kiss me.”

She’ll ask questions later. She is going to have a lot of questions. For the moment, she trusts him enough to cooperate.

Kissing someone an entire foot taller than her, Lucy learns, requires a little more coordination than she expects. She has to yank him down and stand on tiptoe and it really is awkward and a little uncomfortable, and she crashes in with a little more intensity than intended and… it’s a good kiss. She’s wondered about him like that for years now, the kind of wondering one does when there’s only one viable option for one’s regular daydreams, and reality is just a little softer than she expected, and she’s pretty sure he makes some kind of low growl into her mouth and that is unfairly hot, and-

Just as quickly as it began, it is over. His hands stay on her waist, but she is small again, small enough to hide against his body and that at least is familiar and safe and-

“Needed to-“

“You don’t need to explain,” she says before he can launch into what she is sure will be an elaborate apology because good grief, for a man who’s been obviously in love with her since before she met him, there is clearly no intention of ever doing anything with those wayward emotions. “We do what we have to do.”

“Are you hurt?”

Lucy pokes her head up, and it has been too long since she’s tried to flirt with actual intent, but she wants.

“You can massage my wounded feet when we get back home.”

He gives her a look like he’s not sure she actually means that, and dammit how is this the first man she’s ever been around who’s consistently been in awe of her, it is unfair. “If that balances us.”

“I’ll do your neck,” she murmurs, almost laughing. “Can’t imagine that was comfortable either.”

“Next time I’ll just lift you.”

Next time.

Well.

As if her daydreams weren’t annoying enough.

“Good idea.”

43 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

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