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#yeah sure i'll throw it in the x reader tags
t4tstarrailing · 2 months
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boothill body headcanons
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originally the intention was to put this in my general headcanons list once i released those... however, i realized that they'd take up a good 3/4ths of the list, so i'm making a separate post for them.
no content warnings needed, but there are very minor mentions of doing repairs on him. no mentions of reader's gender, all gender neutral.
contains 18+ content. banners by @/cafekitsune.
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his body really is state of the art, one of the kind, designed specifically for him. and because of that, he wants to make sure that anyone that touches or offers to do repairs for him understands how his body works. he's prone to doing his own repairs, even if it's a considerably awkward position for him. or he'll put off repairs until he manages to get back to someone who
he can go about a week tops of low energy work before he truly needs to recharge, about 3-4 days if he's doing high intensity hunting or other forms of work. thankfully for him, he has a "low energy mode" similar to how people sleep that helps him conserve energy. while he doesn't recharge in this mode, it does allow his energy reserves to not deplete as quickly.
when/if his charge starts running out, he'll seem more tired and quiet than usual. he'll complain about his joints aching, being slow. his beacon will make him slur words instead of censor them if he tries to cuss. eventually he'll realize what's going on and go plug himself in to charge.
anytime he starts cussing too fast or hard, his beacon eventually won't be able to keep up. so, instead of censoring with compliments, he'll get censored with little beeps and chirps.
he has the ability to change what sounds his body makes. he can make it a heartbeat, his fans whirring, a mechanical purr noise. he likes tinkering with modifications and seeing what he can manage to make his body do without any assistance. just tell him what you'd like to hear from him, and he'll see if he can manage it.
despite his body being state of the art, he unfortunately does still run the risk of overheating. to combat this, he has various coolant reserves around his body and fans that activate once he reaches a certain internal temperature. the coolant is similar to sweat in humans, gleaming on his body, and his ventilation causes him to expand a little bit. think of a short-horned lizard puffing its neck out in defense but, in this situation, it's so boothill can cool himself down.
... it is a bit intimidating, however, especially once the steam starts rolling down his body and he starts snorting it out. he has had bounties piss themselves seeing him in this specific state.
he also can get embarrassed. but he doesn't blush because he no longer has blood. his motors and fans, however, do start whirring faster and louder. and he has to physically keep his vents from raising to avoid further embarrassment.
he's got a couple of lubricant reserves stored around his body that he can easily access. if he finds himself getting stiff, he'll just shoot a bit of lubricant into the joint to get himself nimble again. these lubricants aren't body safe, specifically designed for mechanical engineering.
... he does, however, have body safe lube stored in his throat that he can easily access by a button on his neck. it makes sex much easier for him.
speaking of sex! he doesn't have a dick. or a hole. instead, he has a grind pad. it's a relatively smooth bulge that looks similar to a large tdick but it's defined and there's some small ridges up and down it. the specific spot is highly sensitive for him, able to orgasm from stimulation (frotting because his favorite) with it, and able to make it vibrate as he wants.
that being said, he does have options. there are a few usb ports on his side that allows him to connect custom sex toys that let him feel whatever you do to them. dildos, holes, you name it, he can probably find it. there's also bluetooth that gives him the option of connecting sex toys to him, but he's a bit hesitant with that option specifically since he's had some... interesting experiences with them.
yes, because he has multiple usb ports, he can technically fuck himself if you plug in a dildo and a hole toy at the same time. yes, he has tried this before. yes, he does do it every once in a blue moon. but because of how exhausting and draining it is for him, it's something that he rarely offers up.
there a certain parts of his body that are sensitive, and they tend to match the erogenous zones for normal human bodies. his inner thighs are especially sensitive, especially closer to his crotch area. so sensitive that it's possible he can cum just from being overstimulated by touch in this area, including from repairs. in general, when he has repairs that need to be made in this area, he does his best to avoid having anyone else help make them.
speaking of repairs, following his repair sessions, that specific spot that he needed to repair can be overly sensitive. most of the time he'll cover it with a bandage to avoid rubbing it against anything. but if he's feel a bit ornery, he may just ask you to "help me recover from my repairs". of course he isn't gonna push it if you say no, but he most definitely will ask if he's feeling a bit playful.
some cyborgs will use a USB port to upload a virus into their system that puts them into overdrive, similar to an incredibly strong aphrodisiac. they tend to last for a couple of hours. yes, he has used them. yes, he frequently uses them when he wants to have a marathon sex session. yes, they have caused him to short circuit and almost shutdown before.
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astonmartinii · 10 months
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Could you do a smau where she’s max’s sister and dominating MotoGP the way max is f1. Maybe they have the typical annoying younger sister/protective big brother relationship and he finds out she’s dating one of the f1 drivers? Xx
cherry lip balm | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x motogp!verstappen!reader
the verstappen siblings run motorsport, but the youngest's f1 allegiances may belong elsewhere
f1 and motogp
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liked by oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 1,405,466 others
tagged: maxverstappen1, yourusername
f1 and motogp: happy international siblings day to max and y/n verstappen, these two have 60 wins between them 🏆
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user1: my faves i love them
user2: the way jos wasn't gonna let them kids do anything else lol
yourusername: + victoria verstappen the patron saint who puts up with both of us love you 🥰
maxverstappen: you mean putting up with you ? i'm a mature man of the world now
yourusername: girl you are fussier than all of our nephews put together mature MY ASS
maxverstappen1: i am mature and i have BOUNDARIES
yourusername: yeah you have boundaries between all your food you bland man
victoriaverstappen: i think you just proved y/n right
user3: they are the most unhinged people ever i feel so bad for victoria lol
user4: patiently waiting for y/n's championship
marcmarquez93: no marquez representation?
yourusername: you need to serve more
maxverstappen1: you guys don't have the verstappen sass
user5: someone needs to stop them 😭
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 832,771 others
yourusername: the two sides of a race week
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user6: the way she won this race and was like yeah i need that 0.5 of me drinking coffee actually
yourusername: it's a hot chocolate cause i'm a child
user7: are we all collectively ignoring the whole ass man on the last slide?
maxverstappen1: no we're not Y/N Y/M/N VERSTAPPEN CALL ME THIS INSTANT
yourusername: calm it on the all caps and maybe i'll call you
maxverstappen1: MAYBE?
yourusername: well that's not making it any better maxie
user8: i can't loose this parasocial relationship y/n get that man's hands off of you now
landonorris: y/n please pick up max's call he's threatening to throw my monza trophy PLEASE PICK UP I DON'T HAVE THAT MANY TROPHIES
yourusername: please refer to my previous comment about all caps and then come back
landonorris: y/n may you please call your beloved brother back so my very limited trophy collection does not get destroyed
yourusername: sure just for you lando ❤️
maxverstappen1: STOP FLIRTING PLEASE
yourusername: i just picked up ... and ur still commenting (plus that's not lando in the pic btw he's too skinny to be him)
landonorris: why am i getting bullied by both verstappens today, i'm just trying to help :(
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maxverstappen1
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liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,034,661 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: there's no party like a verstappen party and a verstappen-only party with no BOYFRIENDS because they don't exist :)
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user14: ahaha passive aggressive max is my fave
yourusername: just cause you're too much of a pussy to ask charles out so i can't have a boy friend?
maxverstappen1: what?
yourusername: what?
user15: max as overprotective brother is my new favourite thing
danielricciardo: i fear y/n is 22 years old and her own woman
yourusername: awwww thanks danny at least one man here has SENSE
maxverstappen1: how much did she pay you to comment that?
danielricciardo: she didn't pay me but my house plant currently at hers was being held at gun point
yourusername: i would never
danielricciardo: so i can delete my comment
yourusername: do that and sheila gets it
user16: i know we should be more concerned with max going insane, but daniel's choice of name for his house plant is the most pressing issue
user17: hear me out but for comedic purposes ... i need y/n's bf to be a driver
maxverstappen1: do not speak that into the universe
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oscarpiastri
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liked by landonorris, yourusername and 808,943 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: i like the taste of her cherry lip balm
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user22: what 😭 the 😭 fuck 😭
yourusername: you don't taste half bad either ;)
oscarpiastri: come back to bed
maxverstappen1: NO NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE OSCAR JACK PIASTRI WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT MY SISTER
oscarpiastri: how do you know my middle name?
maxverstappen1: i called your mum, anyhow YOU ARE A DEAD MAN
oscarpiastri: how did you get my mum's number?
maxverstappen1: i'm trying to threaten you please stop asking questions
yourusername: maxy please stop trying to be scary i know you still wear footy pjamas at christmas
maxverstappen1: well i hope oscar is terrified by my christmas spirit
user23: i feel like i lose brain cells watching y/n and max talk to each other
user24: we ignoring the fact that max managed to get oscar's mum's number just to ask for his middle name PETTY KING
maxverstappen1: it was more than a middle name, i needed a character witness
yourusername: CHARACTER WITNESS? YOU WORK WITH HIM? YOUR BEST FRIEND IS HIS TEAMMATE?
maxverstappen1: i understand you are making points and no one has a bad word to say about him ... but i've got to stick to the bit now
oscarpiastri: so i'm not going to die in hungary?
maxverstappen1: no. but keep all your business to yourself, i don't need to know what lip balm my sister uses and that you own a bed
oscarpiastri: got it 🫡
user25: well that was dramatic
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maxverstappen1
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liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,203,788 others
tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri
maxverstappen1: congrats on your first podium in f1 oscar, welcome to the family i guess ... don't take photos on my phone every again
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user28: so we can all say oscar has max's approval now?
user29: mans was like wow he challenged me in the race he has the stamp of approval now
yourusername: jokes on you we look great @oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri: and what the people don't know is that max was also doing face masks with us
maxverstappen1: not the serve you think it is i am very secure in my masculinity
yourusername: i'm glad you've gotten over your weird older brother act ... does this mean you'll both come to my next race?
oscarpiastri: i'll be there :)
maxverstappen1: i guess
yourusername: whooooooooop finally
user30: the way i am so happy for oscar i feel like i've been on this journey with him
user31: honestly rookie of the year and it's not even close
user30: i was talking about him and max... but yeah he's doing great !!!
landonorris: can i also get a pass for your next race y/n for keeping it a secret?
maxverstappen1: WHAT
yourusername: ur so dumb i actually can't
oscarpiastri: i'm not helping you here dude i just got approval
landonorris: well now i regret helping you guys
maxverstappen1: open your door lando
user32: is he dead?
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 1,348,300 others
tagged: maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri
yourusername: fifth win of the season, my family and the love of my life, what could be better
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user33: i feel like the shit storm of max and oscar has defo distracted us from the fact that f1 and motogp fans are suffering through a verstappen winning nearly every race
maxverstappen1: i want everyone to appreciate my character growth as i took that gross ass last photo
yourusername: thank you maxy, what a sacrifice
oscarpiastri: thanks dude, you did push me in the water right after though
maxverstappen1: uh you snooze you lose, a verstappen rule of life, you had no phone on you so fair game, i thought you wanted to be part of this family
oscarpiastri: I DO ... does this mean i can push you in next time?
maxverstappen1: absolutely not.
yourusername: do it anyway osc i'll protect you babe
oscarpiastri: idk i'm scared
yourusername: he's ticklish he's so easy to beat
maxverstappen1: THAT WAS A SECRET Y/N
user34: if you told me last season that i'd see max go from wanting to kill piastri to being brothers with him and that i'd know he wears footy pjs and is ticklish i'd laugh in ur face
maxverstappen1: ONLY AT CHRISTMAS
oscarpiastri: don't worry mate i think it's cute
maxverstappen1: okay now i prefer you over y/n
yourusername: who? what? where? when? why?
oscarpiastri: soz babe you snooze you lose
note: ahhhhh i really enjoyed writing this so i hope you enjoy i love writing comment domestics if you couldn't tell lol xx
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sherifftillman · 2 years
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I Want Your Video
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Pairing: Eddie Munson x f!Reader
Genre: smut
Tags: Stranger Things (series), 18+ (minors DNI), modern!au, unprotected sex (don't try this at home), oral (f receiving), fingering, heavy dirty talk, p in v, pulling out, overstimulation, mentions of anal, filming a sex tape, mentions of reader being cheated on
Summary: You had to make your ex pay for what he did, to you and his former fellow Hellfire party member. There's only one person that can truly help you with that.
Word count: 3.7k
A/N: Good news, gang! Turns out, I actually do remember how to write anything other than Busy Streets and Busy Lives!
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Waving at Wayne as his car passes yours on his way out of the trailer park puts your mind at ease. That's one potential barrier out of the way. The other is whether or not your potential other party agrees to your little plan.
You didn't participate too much in your ex's Hellfire Club stuff because campaign time was campaign time only, and unless you were summoned to stand in for someone, you weren't a part of this story's main adventuring party. Nonetheless, you'd developed your own camaraderie with the group - especially the only regular female player. 
Which is why it was all the more heartbreaking to see the screenshots of your then-boyfriend's attempts to slide into her DMs. Watching him gaslight her into believing that she was misreading his messages as being flirtatious, despite them definitely being so, hurts enough. Your heart sinks to the floor when you see the photos he'd sent. You know pretty well what his own dick looks like and that's definitely what he sent her. Completely unsolicited. Judging by the timestamp and the sheets beneath him, he even took those while you were asleep next to him.
You needed to make him regret doing that for the rest of his pathetic little life. You needed to hit him where it would hurt most.
And so, you knock three times on Eddie Munson's door. He greets you warmly, but there's an air of sympathy to him. "Hey. Um, I just want you to know, right off the bat, that shitbag's never, ever setting foot near the table again. Next session, his character's getting killed off in the most humiliating way I can come up with, and I totally get if you don't want to, but we'd need a full-time stand-in -"
"I didn't come here to talk D&D, Eddie," you cut him off, and his brow furrows.
"Well, if it's emotional support you're after, then I'm sorry, sweetheart, I'm not of any use there."
"Not that, either," you shake your head. "I - I don't want anything to do with that asswipe ever again, but I still wanna make him pay." You start pacing the expanse across Eddie's living space. "I mean, sure, I dumped his ass, but he'll feel no remorse from that, he didn't care enough about me to stay loyal. I need to really stick a dent in his pride. I need it to come from someone he really admires." You look at Eddie hopefully.
He shrugs, "Sure, I'll teach that bastard a lesson. What do you have in mind?"
You take a deep breath in. "Well, if he's going to send dick pics without remorse… I was thinking… You and I go one better and send him a - a video. If that's okay with you."
Eddie feels as though all his Christmases have come at once. He'd always found it tough tearing his eyes away from you with your boyfriend mere feet away. He wanted to sucker-punch the sense back into him when he'd learned what your ex had done. But this? So much better.
Rubbing his jaw, Eddie nods. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, we can do that." He gestures for you to follow him to his room, which you do. "My phone, or yours?"
You contemplate, "Yours. It'll sting more coming from you."
Eddie nods, setting his phone on a surface close to the bed and setting up the right angle. "So, clothes already off, clothes on? Anything definitely off the table, or on it?"
"Clothes off, I want it to pack a punch the moment he hits play," you direct, and Eddie nods, throwing his shirt off. You knew there was more ink beyond his forearms, you'd seen little peekaboo moments of the artwork adorning his body, but seeing them all out in the open, as though he's an open sketchbook,  captivates you. He's obviously watching you stare at each one as he smugly swivels himself around to show you all of them at all angles. You continue, "Um, how do you feel about… Not wearing - I promise, the video will stop before any completion happens, I'm not here to get knocked up or anything," you quickly explain, to Eddie's amusement.
"Yeah, I'll fuck you raw." Something about the way he casually purrs that as a smirk tugs at the left corner of his lips sends a buzz through your nervous system that settles at your core. "Anything else?"
"Um… He never really liked… Going dow-"
"Oh my god, of course he didn't," Eddie interrupts. "But he'd have you -?" You nod. "Disgraceful."
"And even though I would always ask him to, he wouldn’t talk dirty to me. So maybe if he saw that in action?"
"Oh, fuck yes, doll, you are speaking my language," Eddie grins. "We talking praise, degrading, narration? How rough do you want me?"
"Honestly, go nuts. I'm all good for all of it. In terms of the talk… I'm good with any as long as it's not humiliating me, but the more possessive, the better." 
"Hmmm, you better get those clothes off and that camera started, baby, or else I might get ahead of myself." Eddie shuffles out of his jeans and palms himself over his boxers as he watches you strip to your underwear with great intent. 
You both silently agree to strip down your last layer at the same time, getting all of the awkwardness out of the way. You're in awe of his cock, stood of its own accord even before he starts stroking himself at the sight of you. You chew your lower lip as you watch in fascination and he grins, "You gonna at least hit record before I end up coming all over my hand?"
You hop onto Eddie's bed, feet swinging above the floor as you ask, "Where do you want me, Mr Director?"
Eddie glances over at his phone screen, smirks, and taps it before striding over to you, pulling you into position by your legs, and throwing one over his shoulder. Pushing the other one out, you realise to get a good angle of it for the camera, he sweeps his hair to one side and makes quick work of snaking his tongue inside of you. 
Your fingers card through his hair and grip tightly, and he hums with approval against your core as his nose nuzzles at your clit. "Is that good, baby?" he purrs between licks, and you nod. He surfaces, shaking his head. "Use your words, sweet thing."
You swallow hard. "Y-yeah, so good."
"Mmm, that's my good girl, doing as she's told, c'mere," he grips your thighs tightly as he laps back and forth at your clit. You sit yourself up at an angle to watch him yourself, the way he looks so lustfully as he goes to town on you. He blindly holds his hand up to you, wiggling two fingers specifically, and you take his wrist to aim them into your mouth. He moans as you suckle and lick his fingers, "Oh, fuck yeah, such an obedient little slut. Taste so good, and so good with your mouth, fuck, I can't wait to wear you around my fucking cock."
You whine, "Please?"
He chuckles, "Patience, sweetheart. I've a feeling you need to get stretched out before you can take me."
"You're so big," you moan wistfully as you fall back onto your elbows, and you feel Eddie's toothy grin press against you as he angles himself enough to slide two long fingers inside of you. He wraps his lips around your clit and sucks as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. Your hand grips his hair tighter and he moans delightfully around you. "Fuck, Eddie, feel so good, I can't - I need to -"
Eddie resurfaces to rest his head against your thigh, gently sinking his fingers into you and stretching them apart before pulling them out to do the same thing over and over again. "So soon, baby?" he croons. "Getting your sweet little cunt eaten gets you this fired up?" You nod, and while Eddie wants to scold you again for not speaking, he's enamoured by the face you make when you're turned on. Eyes half-lidded, lips shiny and just-parted, chest heaving. He hasn't even played with your tits, yet. Fuck, he's barely gotten started with you and you're already a mess under his hand. 
"Please?" is all you can think to say as his fingers curl inside you, making you mewl out loudly.
"Fussy girl wants to come already?" he asks in that crooning voice again, and you nod. Eddie pulls away from you entirely, grinning at your despair, and gets up to straddle you from behind, pressing an oddly gentle kiss to your forehead as he does so. Once he's sat with his legs draped either side of you and his chest flush against your back, he takes one of your breasts into his hand to massage it as the other hand reaches down to rub fast, deliberate circles against your clit. His lips press kisses all along your throat as you cry out for him. His voice is low, breathy, but still loud enough to be recorded as he asks, "Fuck, yes, who do you belong to, huh?"
"You, Eddie," you moan, turning your head to try and face him as you say it, feeling your orgasm start to build faster than you've ever been able to muster yourself.
"Mmm, and who does this pussy belong to?" he asks before sucking a big, dark bruise onto the base of your neck. He feels your neck start to crane again and hums an uh-uh against your skin, pulling his head up to purr into your ear, "Don't tell me, baby." He pulls his hand away from teasing at your nipples to squeeze your cheeks between his thumb and fingers, pushing your face around until you're facing his phone. "Tell him."
You look down the camera lens, moaning as Eddie sucks on your earlobe, the hand on your face now sliding down to wrap around your throat as the fingers on your clit work it faster. "It's all - shit, my pussy's all yours, Eddie. No- Nobody else makes it feel - this good, not even me, please," you falter into a plea at the end as you feel the crescendo looming.
"Damn right she belongs to me, and she wants me so bad, doesn't she?" His hand leaves your clit momentarily to dip down and coat his fingers in your thick juices. When he brings them up to your lips, the hand that had been so gently pushing against the pressure points in your throat falls to resume working your clit as you once again suck on his fingers. "Look at her, she's crying out for me, so desperate for it, can't wait to - to squeeze herself all over my thick cock as I fuck you the way you deserve, right? The way I've wanted to since I first saw you?" You make a small noise of intrigue around his fingers and Eddie chuckles, "That's right, sweetheart, but that's not why we're here, is it? We're here so you can come for me without me even needing to be inside you, aren't we? You're gonna show him what you really look like when you're satisfied, aren’t you?"
Still looking at Eddie's phone, your walls clench over absolutely nothing as your climax finally washes over you. Eddie continues to kiss and suck across your neck as he slows his attack on your clit and pushes the fingers in your mouth gently in and out as they muffle your moans.
"Fuck, yes, baby," he groans into your ear, "that was incredible."
Pulling down on his wrists until his fingers leave your mouth with a satisfying pop that you really hope the mic picked up, you lean back against Eddie and reach up to play with his hair. "Wanna watch me suck you off, now?" You ask with a coy grin.
Eddie bites his lip, "Any other time, absolutely. But right now, I need you sat on my dick and facing me so I can watch that pretty little face of yours as I make you cum over and over again. Why should he get all the fun of seeing that, huh?"
You squirm as you move yourself around to straddle him, pressing your forehead to his and mumbling, "You really ought to keep the dirty talk more believable, you know."
He frowns as his arms slide up and down your sides, cradling you, "You doubt my talents, sweetheart? You wound me."
"It takes an awful lot for me to get there, usually," you admit quietly, "even once."
"And look at you now," he smirks at the same volume. "Ready for me?" he asks as he reaches between you both to angle his cock away from where it rests against his torso. You nod eagerly, hovering up onto your knees and moving with him. Slightly louder, he grins, "I didn't hear you, ba- oh my fuck," he groans out as you sink down onto him without warning. "Oh, fussy girl can't wait, huh? God, you're fucking loving this dick, arent you, baby, huh?" he croons as he watches your face contort with pleasure as you lower yourself further and further until you're sat with him fully inside you.
With his arms wrapped tightly around you, and your hands on his shoulders to keep you in place, he leans in to kiss you openly, his tongue instantly seeking yours. You grind yourself against him while he's buried in you, moaning into the kiss at the feeling. "Fu-uuuck, Eddie," you moan. "Tell - tell me more - first time you saw -"
"Mmm, the first time I saw you?" he asks, reaching down between you again to rub your clit in gentle circles. "You walked in with him. Wearing a cute little dress, but you had a shirt on under it so I missed out on these," he gropes at your breasts. "Hmm, but fuck, I wanted you to stay. Wanted that cute little mouth sucking me off while he played just across the table. Wanted to feel that cute little ass of yours as I bent you over the table and fucking railed you."
You whine, "You wou- you'd fuck my ass?"
Eddie lets out his loudest moan yet, bucking up further into you. "Fuck, I didn't mean that, but if you'd let me, baby, any day of the fucking week. But I gotta take care of my pussy first, don't I? She's being so good to me," he purrs as he fucks you deeper. "I think - we've put on enough of a show, don't you?" he asks as he blindly reaches for his phone, angling it at both of your faces. "I don't think he deserves to watch you come over my dick. Say goodbye, sweetheart."
You look at the camera, smile coyly and turn to Eddie to lean in and bite his lower lip, both of you chorusing low chuckles to each other as he cranes his phone around to hit the stop button.
Reality crashes down on you as you realise it's all over now. That video was the reason you showed up. That was what he agreed to do. He notices your hesitation as he throws his phone aside and quickly swings you both around so that you now lay beneath him. You'd been so focused on making a good sex tape, you had barely paid attention to Eddie himself until now. Eyes blown black, his hair and his guitar pick chain dangling between the two of you, a light sheen of sweat showing against his dark ink. But by far the hottest thing of all about him was the sheer, primal hunger in his gaze.
"I hope you didn't think we were done yet, princess," he coos. "Now I get to really focus on you."
Not letting his gaze leave yours, he aims his cock inside of you once again, taking your hands in his and interlocking your fingers before fucking into you deeply.
Your back arches as he fills you, and you moan his name, to his delight. Before long, you're begging and whining again, your fingers clenching tighter against his. "Gonna come for me, baby? Fuck, tell me again, who owns you?"
"You - you do, Eddie," you moan, your hips squirming beneath him.
"Damn right, I do. Just like I said, I'll make you come over and over again. Do it, baby, come for me."
That euphoric feeling returns, but tenfold as you feel yourself tighten around his member. He slides it in and out of you gently as you work through your climax, but it's short lived as he climbs further onto the bed to line himself up with your chest, wrapping a wide, rough hand around his cock as he pumps it, sending warm spurts of thick cum flying against your breasts as he throws his head back and moans gutturally.
Looking down at yourself, then back up at him, you ask, exhausted, "G'me y'r phone, please."
He slowly hands it to you, confused, and you get up to kneel on the bed right in front of him, taking one of his hands and holding it up to your throat until he gets the hint to hold onto it himself, and then doing the same for the other arm, guiding it between your legs.
You swipe onto his camera, flip it to the front one, and set the phone down so that it only starts showing from your nose downwards, making sure that the bruises on your neck, and the cum on your chest aren't obscured. Setting a timer, you smile slyly as one photo takes. You take another with you biting your lip, and Eddie gets in on making sure you take one where he's kissing your neck amongst the hickey.
But Eddie lets go of your throat for a moment to switch the camera back to video mode, mutter in your ear, "You keep this right here, 'kay, baby?" and hit record right as the hand between your legs once again starts rubbing your clit with a lot more fervor than before.
Just as the timer starts recording, Eddie's grip around your throat tightens and you cry out silently, just about managing to squeak out a, "S-so - sensi- so much."
"I know it's sensitive, baby, that just means it'll be quick," Eddie promises, keeping his lips close to your ear, still in shot of the camera. "But I promised you, didn't I?" He drags two fingers across your drenched thighs, "After you already came for me, I promised it would happen again," he wipes one finger against your lower lip, "and again," he adds as he wipes the other there, too.
You groan, "Fuck, don't know - 'f I c'n take-"
Eddie shushes you, "Of course you can, baby. Your pussy's mine now, remember? And I already know her so well. Fuck, I can't wait to give you so much more. Did you mean it, sweetheart, when you asked me to fuck you in the ass someday?" You nod desperately, whining and keening against his touches. "Good, because I most certainly plan on having a lot of fun with my new cocksleeve. Have you be my new favourite after-gig tradition, where I get to go offstage and fill all your holes." You squirm against him, grinding your bare ass against him. "Mmm, afraid I'm not quite the free-use fucktoy you are, doll, that's not gonna work on me just yet," he drawls.
"Ple-ease, need to  need, fuck -"
"What's that, baby? You need to come again? Oh, but I thought it was so hard to get you there. Remember that when I send you this video and you watch it back, okay, sweetheart? Remember who makes you feel this good. Remember who fucking owns you."
"'s you, Eddie, fuck, I'm -" you scream out in ecstasy as a third orgasm travels entirely across your nervous system, filling your entire body with a high like you've never experienced before. With a grin, Eddie leans over to once again stop his recording and gently lay you down onto his bed. 
"Stay right here, okay, doll? Gonna get you all cleaned up."
You nod, mumbling, "Don't think - I can go anywhere else anyway."
Eddie chuckles under his breath, moving to kiss your forehead and then your lips before making his way to the bathroom.
He returns moments later with several warm, damp washcloths and fresh towels, and takes great care in mopping up your thighs and your chest, in major contrast from the Eddie you'd just experienced.
Once you're clean, he lays himself to curl up next to you on the bed and pull you in to spoon him, pulling his pillows down to where the two of you lay in the centre of the bed so he could place one under your head. You hum in happiness as he presses kisses to your shoulder. "You were fucking amazing, back there, sweetheart. A goddamn natural."
"Having such a good co-star certainly helped," you smirk back. 
"An', y'know. I don't want to put any pressure on you, 'cause what you're going through is a whole thing, but you know most of that was just talk for the camera, and that I see you as way more than a fucktoy, right?"
You pout, "So I'm not gonna be?"
He chuckles, kissing between your shoulder blades. "I didn't say that, did I? Just that… This is casual, and awesome, but I don't want you to think that I only did this to have sex. I did it to have it with you. And I'm down to be… Friends with benefits, fuck buddies, a rebound, whatever it is you need. 'Kay?"
You squeeze his arm around you a little tighter in thanks. You know you're certainly not ready for any kind of relationship again just yet. But who's to say that you can't have fun in the meantime? Maybe this goes further. Maybe it doesn't. All you know is, as you watch with glee as you watch Eddie send the first video to your ex, and then set his favourite of the photos you took as his home screen, you definitely made the right choice tonight.
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yzashaven · 7 months
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2023 KINKTOBER︰10﹒16
꒰ —♡ R I D I N G ! ꒱
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୨♡୧︰featuring﹒genshin men x fem!reader
୨♡୧︰warnings﹒riding, reader on top but not necessarily dom, praising, sensory deprivation/restraining (handcuffs, shibari, blindfold, collar n leash!), bit of clit stim, think that's all!!
୨♡୧︰note﹒writing these (headcanons) seem to be easier and quicker so i think i'll do this for now except for the last part of the event :3 hope these are even the least bit accurate!! + i hope i got the last ones right— not proofread + HOLY SHIT SO MUCH TAGS
꒰ event﹒taglist ꒱ @yukiitaooo @scara6 @kana-de @ciarchivez @returningluv @im-the-ruler-here @scarafixation @kateybuggi @asimpforpeople @ju1yyyzzz @saturnsapothecary @supercoolusernameomg @uchihaeirin @anon-eu @gojoswife201 @abeitriz @mechanical-lily @breadybuu @dawning-bliss @poisonedmoonl1ght @nothingfuninthislife @eunchaeluvr @cuntz0ne @zomzomb1e @bitchylillyrose @zxdksimpo @kikosaidbye @bleubirdinthesky @rottmntrulesall @angelofdarkness2 @kvronushi @adeptuscharm @wolfiafan10
EVENT MASTERLIST !
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꒰ soft, gentle, sweet ꒱ with eyes trailing down your body from your breasts, to your hips, and down to where you were connected at; his gaze was full of admiration as he observed the way you bounced on his cock in the perfect rhythm that was sure to leave you both satisfied. he'd lean in to place soft and loving kisses on your neck, throwing praises at you at the same time. "my pretty little angel~ just like that, do what feels good for you, yeah?" his hand would graze down to your clit to gently rub it in a way that was pleasurable for you, helping you ride out your climax and stroking your hair to calm you down from the intensity that made your whole body shake as you moaned out his name—he chuckles softly, "so adorable."
diluc, albedo, aether, zhongli, baizhu, kazuha, thoma, ayato, tighnari, lyney, neuvillette, childe, pantalone
꒰ whimpering and begging ꒱ he absolutely loves it when you ride him <3 his grip on your hips going weak from the amount of pleasure you were giving to the both of you, it had him trembling and attempting to muffle the sound of his voice by burying his face into your shoulder. seems like he's the one begging this time, begging you for more. "p-please—let me cum in you... please?" how could you ever resist him? with a lewd cry, he'd fill you up to the brim with his seed, still extremely sensitive as you kept your movements going. he'd also beg you to keep riding him, to cum around his cock, of course he cares about your pleasure as well. "c'mon baby, please—cum on my cock, please... need to feel you clenching around me."
diluc, aether, venti, xiao, kazuha, thoma, itto, gorou, lyney, dainsleif
꒰ sensory deprivation + items ꒱ hear me out when i say he prefers to have you restrained and helpless in some way; whether it be through handcuffs or shibari/bondage, a simple blindfold, maybe even a collar with a leash attached to it if that's what you're into. his hands held onto your hips and guided you in finding the perfect pace and force, along with the angle that quickly sent you over the edge as it hit all your sensitive spots and stretched you out so good. "all you have to do is look pretty for me, love." he'd coo at you in a manner that was teasing—as if mocking you from how fucked out you become from his cock, doesn't matter whether you were situated beneath or above him, the outcome was always the same. "g'nna cum again, are you? hah~ you're trembling, how cute."
handcuffs/ties your wrists︰kaeya, heizou, wanderer, cyno, kaveh, wriothesley, capitano
shibari/bondage︰corrupt!albedo, kuronushi, alhaitham, pierro
blindfold︰kaeya, ayato, heizou, alhaitham, dottore, dainsleif
collar and leash︰abyss!aether, childe, scaramouche, dottore
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bountydroid · 1 month
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Darlin' pt 6
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pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4 / pt 5 / pt 7 (SMUT)
Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader (Romance)
Description: Cooper and Reader feel the effects of the radiation.
Notes: My tags are still goofy I don't know what is going on I am sorry. When I am writing the post your profile comes up and I click on it but then when I post it it doesn't work? Help? You guys may have to just keep an eye on my posts. :(
Cooper still hasn't told us where he is taking us yet. The sun seemed to get extra hot as the day went on. I knew the irradiation of the river was starting to hit me, just like it was the vaultie. We both had sunken, dark eyes and pale skin. Radiation sickness was starting to set in. Cooper made sure I stayed close to him, his eyes only leaving me to bark at the vaultie when she slowed.
"This damn sun," I whined.
Without saying a word, Cooper took off his hat and dropped it on my head. I smiled ear to ear, the idea of wearing his hat filling me with joy. "Thanks, Coop." 
His footsteps stuttered at the nickname. Little did I know, it brought back a flood of memories that were long forgotten. "Just don't lose it, darlin'." He mumbled.
The show of affection filled me with a burst of energy, adding some pep to my step as we trekked along in the sand. Eventually, we happened upon a small, derelict town. The old homes were covered almost half up their sides with sand. The houses now were all the same tan color as the ground, a reminder of the harshness of the wastelands. We walked up to a building with "Westside Medical Clinic" written on a big sign out front. As soon as we stopped walking we heard it. The yelling.
"Roger! My name... is Roger!" A voice roared from inside the building. 
The three of us exchanged looks before Cooper pushed the vaultie towards the door, making her go first. "Stay behind me, sugar." He said quietly to me. 
We slowly continued into the building as the snarling grew closer. The vaultie hesitated, not wanting to get any closer to the danger inside. This caused Cooper to give her another harsh shove. The fear swirling in my stomach made me feel like I was going to throw up. I grabbed onto the back of Cooper's coat for purchase. We finally made our way into the room where the voice was coming from. A man, or a ghoul, was sitting in the sand, mumbling and snarling. 
"Hey Rog," Cooper greets him.
"Hey. Hey." the man laughs, relieved to see his friend. "Fancy seeing you here. You out for that bounty, too, huh?"
"Yep," Cooper responds as he knelt in front of his friend.
You all stand there in silence for a bit, listening to Roger snarl and whip his head around. 
"Oh, shit," Roger says between wails.
"How you feelin’?" Cooper asks quietly, already knowing the answer.
"Oh... you know," Roger replied. "It's hard out here. Dang smoothies can be so unkind. I see you got some smoothies of your own." He says as he looks over at the vaultie and me in the corner. "That one is cute with your hat on."
I give him a small smile as a blush warms my cheeks. "You like it? I'm thinking of keeping it." I say, trying to lighten the mood. 
Roger lets out a gleeful laugh, "Oh, I hope she rubs off on you. Keep her around."
Cooper smiles in response, "Plan on it."
Roger cried out again, ripping the smiles off everyone's faces.
"You're turning," Cooper says reluctantly, he exchanges a worried look with you.
"Yeah maybe, maybe." Roger says on the verge of tears, "Maybe. Hey, you don't happen to have any vials, do you? Just one little puff and I'll be back on my feet. You know I'm good for it." Roger pleaded.
"I'm sorry Roger I am all out," Cooper says, looking sorrowful.
"That's okay. That's okay." Roger mumbles. "Though, um, you and your smooth-faced friends, you um... you might want to clear out before things get ugly."
Roger started to snarl again, he was growing louder and louder. It was horrible to watch. "Is this what will happen to Cooper?" I thought to myself.
"I did okay. 28 years since I first started showing," Roger said, before snarling again. "Oh, hell! Not as long as you are though." He pointed proudly at Cooper, "You've outlasted us all. How long since you first started wastelanding?"
"A long time," Cooper responds while shaking his head.
"That's a lot of vials," Roger said quietly.
"Well I've always been good at making money, Roger." Cooper exhales as he stands up. "Say, you remember how good food used to taste?"
"Yeah, BlamCo Mac and Cheese!" Roger says excitedly.
"Ice Cream and Apple Pie." Cooper countered.
"Hot damn! Apple Pie." Roger said, joy lighting up his face, even making the vaultie smile. "You know my mother used to-"
Before he could finish, Cooper shot Roger threw the head with no warning. I stumbled back in shock, tripping and falling on my butt and landing in the sand. 
"Why did you do that?" The vaultie asked with tears in her eyes. "He was sick."
Cooper ignores her and starts making his way toward me while he holsters his gun. My eyes were glued to the man, lifeless on the ground. 
"Darlin'." Cooper says pulling me from my thoughts and he crouches in front of me. 
I look up at him with weeping eyes. "He...." I trailed off. I didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry," I whispered as the tears started to fall down to my chest. 
"Don't be sorry, darlin'. Can you do something for me?" He asked calmly.
"Yeah." I managed to respond between sniffles. 
"Wait in the hallway." He replies, rubbing my shoulder reassuringly. I give him a confused look before he starts talking again, "I don't want you to see this."
Realization washes over me. "You gonna eat him?" 
"Just - just wait in the hallway." He says as he pulls me up to my feet. "Okay?"
"Okay," I mumble as I slowly make my way out of the room. I lean up against the wall and close my eyes. It's only a minute before I hear the vaultie begging.
"Stop. Stop Stop." The vaultie pleaded, "Please, I know it's hard out here but you don't, you don't have, you don't have to resort to... to..."
"What'd you say your name was?" Cooper asks her.
"Lucy MacLean." The vaultie replies hesitantly. 
"MacLean?" Cooper asks a hint of recognition in his voice. "Huh. Well, Lucy MacLean, it ain't all peaches and marmalade left up here, sweetheart. Sometimes a fella gotta eat another fella." 
Even from the hallway, I could hear the squishing from whatever he was doing in there. I felt nausea settle into my stomach, whether from the radiation or what Cooper was doing in the other room, I didn't know.
"You know, my vault has endured hardship too," Lucy said, pushing back. In the great plague of '77, everyone had to quarantine, they couldn't work the farms together, people starved. My mother included. My dad dropped to 128 pounds, and he still refused to do anything like this."
Cooper let out a deep chuckle at her words.
"What? What's so funny?" She asked, her voice dripping with venom.
"Well, there's what people say they did and what they really did." Cooper said, his accusation heavy in the air. "I'll bet your daddy was first in line at the cookout. I bet he had a bib with a drawing of his neighbor's ass on there."
"How do you live like this?" Lucy asks. "You obviously know it's wrong you sent her to the other room. So how do you do it? Why keep going?"
I open my eyes slowly at the mention of me. I didn't know if I could ever live like that, so Lucy's question piqued my interest as well. There was a heavy silence as I heard Cooper's footsteps making his way across the room.
"Well, one good question deserves another," Cooper responds, his voice was dark, sending a shiver down my spine. "Why the fuck am I doin' all the work? Now come on vaultie, ass jerky don't make itself."
This was a side of Cooper that I had not seen since the night we met. Ruthless. Cruel. It made me wonder was this who he really was. Or was the sweetness he has shown me his true self? It was probably a little bit of both. The silence in the building was deafening. It was a moment before I heard Lucy's soft footsteps in the sand. 
"She is actually gonna do it." I thought to myself in horror, letting out a soft gasp. 
Once they made their way out of the room, Lucy's hands were covered in blood and she had an empty expression on her face. She was clearly traumatized by what she had to do to Roger. Cooper didn't look at me as they made their way past. "Come on, darlin'."
-
It felt like forever since the incident with Roger, but it was hard to forget as his skin hung from Cooper's pack. The three of us hiked in silence, tension had returned to Cooper and me as neither of us knew what to say to the other. Cooper had started coughing some time ago. This filled me with dread, we needed to get him some Jet fast. Let alone, myself. I was getting sicker by the minute as I struggled with the poisoning from the river. My feet dragged in the sand behind Cooper as I struggled to keep up. 
Cooper dipped his canteen into some water pooled in an old barrel. My chest filled with jealousy. I ran out of water some time ago and the lack of food and water was becoming painful. He made eye contact with Lucy as she watched him drink. This wasn't the first time he had teased her about her lack of water. Desperate for a sip, she fell to her knees in front of the water, scooping it into her mouth. 
"Now you're gettin' it." Cooper mused as he watched her. "How does that golden rule jibe with what's goin' through your head right now?" 
"What are you?" Lucy asked angrily.
"Oh I'm you, sweetie, just give it a little time." He responded.
"Because of the radiation poisoning?" I asked, my voice cracking from dehydration.
Cooper turned to me with a serious look on his face, "Not gonna happen to you darlin'."
I gave him a small nod before I squeaked out, "Okay." I trusted him completely. 
As a coughing fit took over the ghoul, Lucy took her chance to make a run for it. I was torn between chasing after her and staying to comfort Cooper. Cooper started waving after her, signaling for me to chase her.
"Hey! Stop!" I yelled as I ran after her.
As we rounded the corner, she stopped to stare at the huge crater in the ground. I ran up next to her as I also marveled at the sight. I had never seen anything like that before. Suddenly, Cooper's lasso secured itself around Lucy's midsection as he pulled her down onto the ground.
"Where you think you're goin'? You ain't goin' nowhere." Cooper said as he stepped over her, leaning down to grab her face.
Lucy immediately responded by biting onto his finger and ripping it off with her teeth.
"Oh my god?!" I gasped out as I ran toward them. "Cooper."
He continued to keep his attention on Lucy. "There you are, you little killer." He said as he lifted her to her feet before grabbing ahold of her matching finger and cutting it off with his knife. "Now that right there is the closest thing to an honest exchange that we've had so far." He pocketed her finger before reaching down to pick up his own. "Here darlin'," He said as he handed me the rope that was tied to Lucy. 
I hesitantly took it as I watched him rummage around in his pack for a small rag to wrap his finger in. 
"You don't hurt, right?" I asked him.
"Don't feel a thing, sugar." He said smiling as he took the rope back from me. 
This exchange seemed to have depleted Lucy's resolve completely as she quietly obeyed from there on out. It wasn't long after that that we reached an old building with the word SuperDuperMart written on it. It was surrounded by a broken-down fence and had some old cars in the front of the building. I was nervous, but Cooper's confidence calmed me as we approached the building.
"Transaction," Cooper said as he pressed on some sort of communication device. He threw his bag into the dirt next to him. He looked tired.
"Yes?" Someone responded.
"Two month's supply of vials. Exchange one female mint condition." He stated before looking over at Lucy's hand, "Near mint condition."
"Condition grading requires physical evaluation. Please send her in." The voice responded, there was something strange about the voice that I couldn't recognize. It almost didn't sound human.
The door to the building buzzes and slowly opens. Lucy watched it with concern evident in her eyes, "What's in there?" She asked.
"You're about to find out," Cooper replies as he cuts the rope that bound her wrists.
"You're selling me?" Lucy asks, a look of disbelief on her face.
Cooper pulls a gun from his hip and cocks it, "You got problems out here too, sweetheart. Best you try your luck behind that door. Go on." He says as he shoves her.
I watch on from behind Cooper as Lucy shuffles her way into the building, giving a nervous look back before she enters.
Once she enters, Cooper deflates. He was obviously putting on a show for her. Pretending he wasn't as sick as he really was. "Y/n?"
"Cooper?" I ask breathlessly.  
Instead of responding, the ghoul collapsed.
"Cooper!" I yell out as I shake him. His eyes are open and he's still awake but for some reason, he was not able to move. 
I pushed the button he was using to communicate with the man inside the building. "He can't wait he needs it now!" Only to get no response. "We will give you another person! A female near mint conditon." I say, describing myself.
Cooper whispered out, "No." I could barely hear him. 
I crouch down next to him and place his hat next to him, "It's my turn to take care of you." I declared, giving him a sad smile. 
I took his gun and tried to shoot the door to break it. I had never used a gun before, so it took me a minute or two to figure out. The glass, however, appeared to be bulletproof. 
"Shit," I mumbled before placing the gun on the ground. 
I then decided to try and pry the door open with no such luck. I run between the cars around us, searching for anything I can use to open the door. In one of them, I find a crowbar. "Yes!" I yell happily as I run back to the door. I wrestled with it for a while before I finally was able to get the crowbar inside, finally, I had some progress. I yelled out in frustration as I tried to open the door. It was the heaviest thing I have ever felt in my life. Moving it just an inch took more strength than I had, especially in my state. 
After a couple minutes of struggling, I collapsed to the ground in exhaustion. I looked over at Cooper only to see he hadn't loved an inch. "Cooper?" I call out as I crawl towards him. I sit next to him and gently lift his head onto my lap, rolling him onto his back. "You'll be okay," I say quietly before looking up at the door. I was hoping that soon they would come out to give him the vials he was owed. The silence felt like it had been going on forever when there were suddenly gunshots coming from inside the building. I help Cooper a little closer, afraid and confused. I grabbed his gun again and held it close to my side. 
"I've got you, Coop," I whispered to him.
The building then went silent again. There was a moment before Lucy strolled out the door, covered in blood. 
"Lucy? What happened?" I gasp.
"They were going to harvest my fucking organs!" She yelled angrily as she sauntered over to us. 
I shakily hold up my gun, causing her to stop in her tracks. 
"He doesn't get these, he turns into one of those? That how it works?" She asked, holding up a couple vials. 
I lower the gun and start begging. "Please, Lucy."
She crouches down next to him and contemplates for a moment before saying to Cooper, "I may end up looking like you... but I'll never be like you." Before getting up, she gently puts some vials in my hand. "Golden rule, motherfuckers."
"Thank you! Thank you so much!" I cry out happily as I start rummaging through Cooper's pockets searching for his inhaler. "I've got you, I've got you.." I kept repeating as I shakily put the vial in the inhaler and hold it up to his mouth. It takes a couple tries, but ultimately, he gets ahold of it and breathed in the contents. I make a happy squeak as he starts to move again. 
He lets out a soft wheeze before saying 'Why the hell would you do that?" 
"What?" I asked him confused.
"You were going to fucking sell yourself? For me?" He states angrily as he sits up to a sitting position. 
"Well-" I start.
"Well, nothing. Never do that again." He shouts as he stands, pulling me up by my collar. The fear on my face softened him as he released my shirt with a sigh, "I ain't worth it, darlin'."
"You are to me," I say quietly. "You are never getting rid of me."
He lets out a small laugh as he smiles wearily, his resolve dimishing. "You are way too good for me, sugar."
"Well too bad, Cooper. You've got me." I say as kiss him on the cheek.
Just as I was pulling away he grabbed hold of my hip "Come here." He says as his lips crash into mine. 
I let out a squeak in surprise before I started to return the kiss. It was sloppy and heated, filled with pent-up emotions. It was everything I wanted.
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f1byjessie · 4 months
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A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.
sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.
( lando norris x photographer!reader )
━━ part one.
INSTAGRAM.
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liked by mclaren, landonorris, and 505,281 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername a smiley lando is the best lando in my books! to celebrate the end of the 2023 season, here's a handful of my favourite photos from throughout the year!
view all 3,171 comments
mclaren What a happy lad! We can't wait to see that smile again in 2024 😁🧡
↳ yourusername you and me both! 🤝🧡
user she's got the dream job omg
↳ user IKR??? imagine just getting to follow lando around and take pictures of him all day, i'd be dead within the first hour
↳ user he'd smile at me and i'd be asking “what are we” on god 😩😩😩
↳ user is that literally all she does??? she just follows him around and takes pictures??
↳ user there’s probably a technical term for what her position is and i just don’t know it, but bc there’s so much going on around the track at any given moment, sometimes the press and other media workers are focused on something or someone else, so she’s hired on by mclaren to specifically focus on mclaren to make sure that there is content for mclaren or mclaren sponsors to use. she’s not just lando’s photographer, she also takes photos of oscar, the pit teams, and the other staff that work in the garage, but she was hired on when lando started so her portfolio is pretty full of him. hope this helps!
user didn't know i could need so much orange in my life but here we are
user LANDO NORRIS SUPREMACY
oscarpiastri i see who the favourite is 🫤
↳ yourusername you literally SAW me picking photos for your post too
↳ oscarpiastri yeah but you posted his first 🫤
user guys this is the face of the 2024 wdc winner take it in now
user i could write a 50 page thesis on the importance of these photos and what they mean to me and how the serotonin they make me release could replace my depression meds
user lad’s like a mini danny ric with how smiley he is
landonorris best photog right here folks
↳ yourusername you're only saying that bc i always get your good side
↳ landonorris i'll have you know that all sides are my good sides 🤨
↳ yourusername whatev helps you sleep at night luv 😊
In 2019, when you took on the job of being McLaren’s lead photographer, you hadn’t expected it would garner you the amount of attention it has, or that it would slingshot your career to levels of success you never could have anticipated, or that you would get a best friend out of it.
When you first met him back in those early days, you’d thought Lando Norris was an arrogant, pretentious, self-righteous prick who thought he was hot shit because he was a Formula One driver. However, he’d quickly proven you wrong when he’d admitted to you that a lot of the confidence was an act━ carefully constructed to hide his insecurities about his performance both on and off the track.
“I mean, we’re drivers, yeah?” He’d said. “But we’re also actors. We’ve got these personas that we have to uphold even out here on the paddock, and I’m always worried I’m not playing the part well enough.”
It hadn’t made a lot of sense to you then, you thought he was pulling off the persona of Total Douche remarkably well, but in Shanghai, things changed.
After the Chinese Grand Prix, things were dour. Lando had DNFed━ the first in his Formula One career━ which contrasted greatly with his previous accomplishment of P6 in Bahrain. Carlos Sainz hadn’t been doing very well, either, and it didn’t paint a very pretty picture for McLaren so early in the season. You’d thought he’d throw a hissy fit, tear Daniil Kvyat apart for his role in the crash, or at the very least throw some shade his way, but he hadn’t done any of that. He’d accepted his fate with grace, joked to the media about how boring the race had been because of what had happened, and then gone on to congratulate Carlos for at least finishing.
What was even more shocking, was that despite his disappointment and the frustration he must’ve been feeling, instead of going back to sulk in his lonesomeness or drown out his feelings with booze and loud music at some club, he’d comforted you later that evening.
The morning of the race, as you’d been getting ready in your hotel room, you’d gotten a text from an unsaved number admitting to you that they’d been taking part in a months-long affair with your boyfriend but had been previously unaware that he was already taken and therefore wanted to let you know to clear their conscience. You’d managed to hold yourself together then━ mostly because you’d already done your makeup and, quite frankly, didn’t have the time to sob it all off and then attempt to salvage it━ but as the day drew to a close and the adrenaline of the race and its excitement wore off, and with nothing else to keep you distracted, you were struggling to keep yourself composed.
Lando had somehow noticed in that weirdly perceptive way of his that something was off, and he’d sat with you, asked what was wrong, and listened when you━ through tears━ explained the situation to him.
“He sounds like a total fucking muppet,” he’d commented after you’d said your piece, and he’d done it with such a deadpanned expression that it had startled a genuine laugh out of you. Because yeah, you’re (now ex) boyfriend had been a muppet.
After that━ and after all the rom-com and ice cream binging you’d both done in his hotel room afterward much to the chagrin of Lando’s nutritionist and the displeasure of his PR officer━ you’d rescinded your initial judgment of him. He was significantly less dickish than you’d originally thought, and it let you finally understand what he’d meant when he’d talked about putting on a persona.
The cocky, know-it-all prick that Lando pretended to be half the time was all just an act to hide his overly self-critical nature fueled by his insecurities.
By the end of the season, he’d gained a little confidence of his own and had subsequently toned down the assholery when he no longer needed to “fake it til he makes it,” and you were calling him your friend.
It’s 2023 now, and he’s since been upgraded to best friend status━ a role he takes very seriously, and constantly reminds you of.
“I’m your best friend━” case and point, “━you have to come to Bali with me. Literally, like, what am I gonna do without you there? Do you expect me to just go by myself? What if I get lost? Or what if somehow the mafia, who have unknowingly had a hit out on me for years, track me down there and I’m kidnapped and ransomed off for billions of dollars? What will you do then?”
“You just want me to take pictures of you,” you answer, rolling your eyes only because you know he can’t see you through the phone.
He gasps in mock offense. “I cannot believe you think I value you so little! I want you to take pictures of me and be here to help me make fun of awkward tourist spray tans so I don’t feel like a total asshole for being the only one who laughs.”
You laugh at that. “Well, unfortunately laughing at bad fake tans doesn’t pay the bills.”
“But taking pictures of me does.”
“Yeah, when McLaren is paying.” You turn back to your laptop, a photo put on pause mid-edit splayed across the screen. It’s of Lando, as most of your photos tend to be despite your attempts at keeping things even between the McLaren boys. It’s the last of the images you need to send over for their 2023 sendoff, and when it’s finished you’ll officially be without work for a painstaking two months. “I’m on break too, technically, until they need promotional shit for the new season.”
He huffs, and you can almost imagine the childish pout on his face. “What are you even doing, then?”
You hesitate, not because you don’t want Lando to know about your winter plans, but because you don’t really know how he’ll react, which means it could be anything between genuine happiness for you and congratulations, or abject horror and feigned screams of anguish. He’s always been dramatic like that, but even more so now that he’s comfortable enough with you and himself to have crawled a decent way out of his shell.
Even still, he’s your best friend and it would make you a pretty shitty person if you didn’t tell him.
“Believe it or not,” you start, wringing your hands together, “but Manchester City actually hit me up with an inquiry. Asked if I’d be interested in working with them on a project documenting their training throughout the winter months. I said I would love to.”
He pauses for a good long moment, and you prepare for the screaming, but all he says is━ “Man City? You traitor. I thought Man United was our forever!”
“Be so fucking real right now, Lando Norris,” you answer, laughing as you do so. You’re relieved, at least he hasn’t gone the feigned anguish route, but you also can’t tell if he’s happy for you or hiding his true feelings behind humor like he’s prone to doing. “You know damn well you only watched them for Christiano Ronaldo and he hasn’t played with United since 2009.”
“Technically he played for them in the 2021-2022 season,” he grumbles.
“Yeah,” you deadpan, “and he was dogshit. We both agreed to pretend it never happened.”
He groans, “I can’t believe this. My day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable.”
“Oh, get over yourself. It’s only for the winter. I’ll be back in McLaren Papaya by February when they need me snapping shots of you and Oscar next to the new livery,” you promise.
The reality is that it’ll probably be sooner. McLaren has always been good about getting you back at HQ pretty quickly, either to get some snapshots of the beginning of Lando and Oscar’s pre-season return or to just capture some material of the engineers at work to promote their readiness. You understand why they can’t keep you around all year━ no Lando and no Oscar means no you━ and with the sheer amount of content you capture and edit for them throughout the season, they’ve got enough to last them the handful of weeks you aren’t working.
Unfortunately, you aren’t working with a driver’s salary to keep you sustained over the break and rent certainly hasn’t been getting cheaper. In past years, your bank account has been chirping with crickets when you’ve returned to work after the winter, and that was before your landlord had decided to make your life a living hell.
You have an important job, but it’s by far the most important, and sometimes sacrifices have to be made. Working in sports media taught you that early on.
“Who knows?” Lando’s voice snaps you back. “Maybe Jack Grealish with his perfect hair and perfect calves will steal you away and you’ll be in sky blue forevermore.”
You laugh, “Jack Grealish is a happily taken man, and although he does have perfect hair and perfect calves, I’m more of a Haaland girl anyway.”
He guffaws. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this. You’re so far gone that you already have a preferred player. Jack Grealish is England’s poster boy! Everyone loves him whether they like City or not!” He heaves a dramatic sigh. “Christ, I can already feel you slipping through my fingers. I give it a week over there at Etihad before you call me up telling me I can find a new best friend because you’ve replaced me with Phil Foden and Julian Alvarez.”
“For someone who supposedly hates Manchester City, you’re certainly well-versed in their roster.”
“Well duh, I need to know my competition,” he says, like it’s obvious.
“Ah, yes,” you snark back sarcastically. “Because you, a Formula One driver, have to be worried about the football players of Manchester City.”
“Apparently I do if you’re calling yourself a Haaland girl now!”
You burst into cackles and he’s following shortly after with chuckles of his own that eventually peter out into a comfortable silence. You are really going to miss him for the few months you aren’t working with him.
The Formula One schedule is so jam-packed across the season that it typically means you’re getting to see him every day for an hour or two at least, if not for the entirety of the time he’s at the track. You follow him and Oscar to their sponsor obligations, their interviews, and everything in between. It’s honestly rare if you’re not getting a moment to goof off and dick around with one another━ and it’s even rarer for you to not actually see one another face to face in passing at the very least.
The off-season is your least favorite time of the year for this very reason, and though it makes you feel a bit full of yourself to think so, you imagine Lando doesn’t enjoy this time of year much either for the same reason.
“I promise I won’t replace you with any of the City boys,” you say after the silence has stretched on a moment longer.
He huffs again, but you can envision the smile tugging at his lips. “I suppose even if you do, I’ll just show up to a match and steal you away again.”
“As if. Have you seen Grealish’s calves?”
INSTAGRAM.
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footballfansofficial BREAKING: Manchester City Forward Garrett Ward caught with mysterious woman revealed to be well-known Formula One photographer Y/N L/N! The two were seen sharing a romantic evening on Friday, the 5th of January, ringing in a passionate start to 2024. Garrett Ward has been with Manchester City since 2021 but was out on loan to a lesser-known Championship League team until 2023. He has just recently begun to play for his team again, but an injury early into the season has seen him benched for a majority of his time back. Y/N L/N is a photographer for Formula One racing team McLaren and has been working with them since 2019. Recently, she has been working with Manchester City to help promote a new docuseries following the men’s team’s winter training. Check the link in our bio for the full article!
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user OMG GARRETT WARD??? NOTORIOUS BACHELOR GARRETT WARD???
user who is she? like genuinely how is she relevant 🤔
↳ user no literally cuz like who even gives two shits about formula 1?
user girl works in f1 why can’t she stay there
↳ user i’m sure there are plenty of drivers who’d smash her idk why she needs to try and get footballers too like bffr 😒😒😒
user aint no way this bitch is kissing my man rn
user literally what does he even see in her??? she’s not even cute AND she’s wearing man united colors 💀💀
user Y/N L/N??? I THOUGHT SHE WAS WITH LANDO NORRIS???
↳ user LITERALLY ME TOO?? like she posts him all the time on insta so i just kinda thought they were an item or smth?? trouble in paradise maybe
user she’s fucking ugly wtf
user i wish these footballers who get with regular women would realize there are so many better girls out there that would ACTUALLY treat them well and would support them in their careers. like i bet this girl doesn’t even know anything about football. she works in f1 and that’s where she should stay bc nobody cares about that shit round here. she probably doesn’t even know the first thing about how football works, but i bet she’ll be at matches pretending like she knows what’s happening. garrett ward is gonna flush his career down the troilet for this chick bc she’s gonna convince him his busy schedule ain’t worth it and then city will be down a great forward for good, and it’ll all be her fault
user i mean she’s kinda pretty tbf
↳ user stfu she really isn’t
↳ user she gen looks like any random bitch off the street
user these comments are not it…. 😬
↳ user maybe you f1 fans just don’t know how to handle constructive criticism
↳ user is the constructive criticism in the room with us rn?? cuz all i’m seeing is bullying and hatred directed towards an innocent woman who’s only “crime” was going on a date
user ok so she can take photos?? 🙄🙄 maybe she should get a real job
↳ user she’s probably only with him so she can mooch off of him like a fucking gold digger
user AINT NO WAYYYYYY
user it’ll last a month max 😌 i’m calling it
user ayo lando come get your girl
━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette
━━ a/n: here we have it! took me a bit longer than the start of american smile did, but lando's story is officially here! (and it's a whopping 2.9k words to start us off). first and foremost, before we get started, garrett ward is 100% an oc and obviously does not play for manchester city, and this is bc i would feel absolutely horrible portraying a real person in the way that garrett will be later on. gather from that what you will haha! regardless, i hope you enjoy this first part and stick around for the rest!
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nsharks · 6 months
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bleeding blue | apocalypse au
part fourteen —other parts
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pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!reader words: 3k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn't here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival.
Blue holds her arm out, stopping you from taking another step.
"Sh. I see one."
Up ahead, a squirrel stills on a tree, beady eyes unblinking. In a matter of seconds, Blue throws her knife and pins it to the bark through the stomach. 
"Nice," you comment. "You got it on the first try this time."
In your hand is the other squirrel she killed for you. Ghost started working on your bow yesterday. He didn't say anything to you about it, but you spotted him sitting on the porch chiseling away at a hunk of oak. Until he's finished, you've struck another deal: helping Blue skin the rabbits in exchange for her killing squirrels with you. She's better at killing them with a knife than you are. 
"This is good practice for me." She wriggles the knife out and hands you the kill. "Poor guy didn't see it coming."
"Probably better that way."
She slips the knife back to her ankle. "Do you need more? Or is two enough."
"Two is enough. I saw these flowers by the trench that I think are edible."
"You can eat flowers?" She makes a face. The two of you begin heading back toward the camp. You didn't go off too far with her. Ghost said she wasn't allowed to go past the pond without him. Truthfully, you were surprised he let her go with you at all. 
"Yeah. Pink Sorrel. They taste lemony, and I'll add the leaves, too. Like a salad."
"Yum," she says sarcastically. "Did Paul teach you that?"
You nod. "He knew a lot about plants."
"Are you sure he didn't like you?" 
"Blue," you almost groan. "You've asked me this twice now."
"Well, you seemed to have spent a lot of time with him, and he taught you a lot of things."
"You can spend time with someone and learn things from them without... liking them."
"I wouldn't know," she shrugs, waving her hand around. "There are no boys here for me to spend time with besides Ghost." 
"Paul didn't like me in that way," you reaffirm. "Besides, he's dead."
There is a lingering pause as a cloud rolls over the sun, turning everything dim before it passes. The weather these past few days has been fluctuating like true spring. Cold showers in the morning, intense sunlight by noon, and clouds that come and go. The cabbages Blue planted have sprouted fat, juicy leaves. You've mentally scolded yourself for not including seeds in your deal with Ghost. 
"So when are you and Ghost going to start training or whatever?" Blue speaks up, switching subjects.
"Training?" you repeat.
"He told me you wanted to learn some things." She glances at you. "Look, let me just warn you, he can be a real hard ass. One time, he made me climb up and down a tree twenty times without stopping. And another time, he made me throw knives over and over until I hit the exact same spot on the tree again."
Right. Somehow, that last request you made of him has slipped your mind. You did ask him to teach you how to better defend yourself against other people.
It's been over a week now, and the two of you still haven't talked much except for the necessities. Honestly, it's probably best that way. Maintaining a clinical relationship with him should keep the peace and maybe even earn more of his trust. You're growing confident that he doesn't see you as much of a threat anymore. Last night, you ran into him again after waking up from another dream, and all he did was walk past you, step outside for a cigarette, and then go back to his room. He didn't seem suspicious of you being up at all.
That said, the reminder of the 'training' he's supposed to give you makes your teeth snag onto your lip. 
When you don't respond, Blue adds, "What exactly do you want him to show you? I hate to say it, but I don't think he'll give you one of his guns."
"No," you shake your head. "I don't want that. It's not Greys that I'm as worried about. As long I've got distance, I can use my bow for them. It's more about... other people. They get close. Too close."
"Well, you can always bite their nose off," she gives a bump to your shoulder.
You cringe. "I'd rather not have to do that again."
She pauses, looking at her boots. "What did it taste like?"
"Fucking awful. Probably the grossest thing I've ever experienced."
She looks up. "If you were a Grey, you would've loved it."
"Well, I'm human still, and I much prefer these guys." You wag the dead squirrels in front of her face and she laughs. If you could replace all her tears with that sound, you would.
"You still haven't answered my question," Blue tilts her head. "When are you getting started? Because I have some training in mind for you, too."
You arch a brow but don't question it. "Um. I don't know. Ghost hasn't said anything to me about it, and he's busy working on my bow right now."
"Why don't you ask him, then?" She shoots you a knowing smirk. "Are you scared of him, Twix?"
"No," you say all too quickly. "No... I'm not. I just don't know how to talk to him. He's not exactly approachable."
"Just do what I do. I say whatever I want to him. Except when he's pissed, then—" she freezes for a moment and lays a hand on your shoulder. "—it's better to shut up and listen. Believe me."
You speak under your breath. "Noted."
It's another dream that night which pushes you to actually confront him. The loud voices sharpen into images— a bloodied knife at your throat, a toothy smile, carved body parts. You wake up and grab your neck, expecting to feel severed tissue. Instead, you feel damp skin. Something bubbles up your throat and fills your mouth. Squirrel and Pink Sorrel. The taste makes you shudder, but you swallow your dinner back down. The dark, quiet living room mocks you. 
The morning after that, you find him on the porch. It's not raining, but the air pricks the back of your neck with dew. You've already bathed and woven your hair into braids, which is growing longer by the day and bordering on an inconvenience.
Ghost tilts his head the second a wood plank creaks beneath your footsteps, tearing his gaze away from the assortment of carving knives in his lap. You've caught him in the moment before he's started to work on your bow again.
He is wearing that balaclava that makes him look more man than ghost, along with a black hoodie and faded, brown jacket. The whites of his eyes are visible, slowly sliding up to yours. You fully realize he isn't going to greet you with a hello, and standing there in an uncomfortable silence doesn't interest you, so you bite the bullet.
"I want to start that other thing I asked you for."
He seems to know what you're referring to. "Right now?"
Your nails dig into your palms, realizing that you should've waited for a time when he wasn't preoccupied. Though, he's hardly ever not doing something. 
Blue was right. Something about him has you subconciously on the defensive; it's something you want to get over if this living arrangement is going to be long-term, which you'd prefer it to be. It was about two months ago now that he nearly killed you, and since then, he has kept you alive ten times over. Maybe you should focus on that: on the hand that pulled you up, on the warm jacket over your shoulders, on the bow he is making.
"Whenever you have the chance. But— now, if we could."
Ghost lowers his eyebrows and seems to think it over. "Now is fine. Your bow will have to wait a bit, then."
"That's okay," you speak as you exhale. "I don't mind."
It's at that moment Blue pushes through the front door and you almost startle. "Can I come with you guys?"
Ghost folds his knives up and responds in a firm tone. "No. You have work to finish up."
"But my leg is hurting," she retorts lightly. "I'd rather sit and watch you guys."
"Your leg was just fine yesterday when you were hunting and climbing trees." 
"That was yesterday. Today, it hurts." She bites her lip and shrugs.
"How convinient." He gives her a dry look.
"So is that a yes?"
"It's a no."
With a groan, she goes back inside. 
Ghost escorts you out of the gate and towards a small clearing nestled within a circle of trees. As you follow behind him, you find your eyes straying to his broad back and for a moment, you wonder if maybe you've changed your mind— or maybe you want to tell him to wait until Blue can come join.
But you remind yourself that survival is a proactive game; you can't laze around and keep getting sick from the memories. You need to shut them away into that box you've made, and in the meantime, get stronger.
"Here is good," he says, stopping.
It's been awhile since you've done anything like this. There were plenty of times Paul 'trained' you. He used to make you shoot at the trees until your back muscles were practically immobile. As an ex forest ranger, he wasn't much of a fighter. His advice was always this: "Don't let anyone or anything get close enough to where you have to fight them."
Clearly, his advice can only go so far.
In the five years you were at your old camp, you managed to keeps things at a distance for the most part. A few Greys had snuck up on you, resulting in thrashing and wrestling around to avoid bites. But there were only one or two times that you had to engage in close combat with a human. The few other survivors you encountered were usually punished by Paul's rifle or your arrows. 
You shed your jacket and hang it on a branch, left in just Ghost's shirt and your jeans. "So, um, what should I start with? Running laps?"
"You want to learn how to defend yourself, not run a marathon."
"Right." You nod and rub at the gooseflesh that sprouts on your arm. You turn to face him. "I was joking."
Ghost ignores your comment with a pensive expression, staring you down across the short distance. You put on a blank face and meet his eyes expectantly. 
The silence stretches for a second longer than what would be deemed normal. Is this just how he is, then? Or is it only with you? You're about to say something to put an end to it when he suddenly crosses his arms over his chest.
"You were a nurse." It should come out like a question, but it's more of a statement. His voice nearly makes you jump. 
You can't help it; you look away. "Um. I... wasn't, actually."
Why is he bringing this up? Never once has he asked anything about you. In fact, you sometimes toy with the thought that he might have forgotten your real name by now.
"Figured," he says.
You frown, flashing him a confused look. "What? Why?"
"You're a bit too young to have been a nurse five years ago."
You think back to the moment he found you with an inward wince. "So you knew I wasn't telling the truth?"
"It didn't matter if you were or not."
That's right. I don't need a nurse, he said. 
"It wasn't a total lie," you clarify, dropping your arms at your sides. "I was in nursing school."
He rubs his chin. "You should understand the body, then— its weak points."
Your fingers flex before they gesture to your face. "The nose and eyes are obvious ones. But... but if someone grabs me from behind like," you forcefully inhale, "Like you did, then I won't be able to reach them."
He gives a short nod, then looms closer. You will your boots to remain planted in the damp soil despite the overwhelming proximity and intimidating mass of him. You blink up as he points a gloved finger to the hinge of his jaw. "There's this, too. Pretty easy to dislocate." His fingers move to side of his corded neck. "And here. The throat is weak and vital."
"I still wouldn't be able to reach those," you point out.
"You have more than just your arms, Twix."
"So my head, then?"
"That's one way." He moves a step back and you release a breath you didn't realize you were holding. "Why don't you show me what you'd do— give it a try."
The suggestion should be expected given what you're asking of him— of course he would have to touch you at somepoint. Yet, it makes you stiffen. He motions his hand for you to turn around and with great hesitance, you comply, until you hear the crunch of twigs beneath his boots as he closes in behind you. You stare straight ahead at a tree and focus on breathing. 
"Relax. I'm not going to hurt you."
His flat tone makes your eyes twitch in irritation and you are glad he can't see them. "Yeah. I know."
Just as he did all that time ago, his burly arms wrap around you, though not as firm and threatening. Your feet don't hang and you're not skin and bones this time, but once again, you are imprisoned against a hard chest. Your lungs pick up their pace and an artery in your neck jolts. 
"Just show me what you'd do," he says slowly, warm breath fanning across the top of your hair. "Don't worry about hurting me."
You wriggle against him, but even without issuing all his strength, it's useless. You stomp on his foot, figuring that toes are pretty vulnerable, but his thick boot hurts your sole more than you could possibly have hurt him. Your eyes begin to sting. You suddenly find yourself panting in frustration. Before you can even think about trying to use your head, full-blown panic unfurls in your chest. 
"Let go," you say under your breath. He must not hear you. Your voice turns to a snarled hiss. "Fucking let go of me."
His hold immediately loosens and you stagger forward, creating much-needed distance. Heavy breaths scratch up your throat. You wipe the back of your hand over your forehead and close your eyes for a moment, seeing blood and burnt skin against the backs of your lids. When you reopen them, Ghost is staring at you. The humiliation sets in as a red flush on your cheeks.
"Sorry," you shake your head and stare up at the clouded sky. "Just— maybe we should go back." Your arms hug around your stomach to keep its contents contained. "We can start this another day."
Throwing up in front of him again is low on the list of things you'd enjoy doing. He's already seen you near-death— no need to add a mental breakdown to your repertoire. Your lips press tightly together as you head to the tree for your jacket, but his gruff voice pauses your fingers against the embroidered flag on its sleeve.
"This isn't going to work if you don't tell me what is bothering you."
Your hand drops. "What?"
"What happened when you went to get the ammo, Twix?" he presses.
"I..." 
To tell him would be to pry open that box you've made and let him peek inside. He has never even asked a single question about you until today, so you press onto the lid, tight, and turn to face him with pleading eyes. "I don't want to talk about it with you, Ghost. Don't make me."
In response, he lifts up his hands in resignation. "Alright." He lowers them. "Why don't you at least tell me how you handled it?"
"Why?"
He taps a finger to his masked temple. "So I can understand how you think. How you keep surviving all this shit."
The wave of nausea settles as you form your response. "I... I burned him. He cleaned the bite on my arm with some alcohol. I distracted him a little and then smashed the bottle on his head. I had my lighter, so I used it."
Slowly, he nods, as if your words are not all that surprising to him. "And how about at the base when I left you?"
"There was that Grey," you remind him. "I bit the guy's nose and pushed him into it. If it hadn't been there, Blue and I would be dead. You see? I survived because I was lucky. I hardly know what I'm doing."
Ghost argues. "You survived because you saw opportunities and took them. You were smart about it."
"And what about when there are no opportunities? I will just panic like I did now." The tightness in your chest turns into something that has you roughly grabbing the jacket and sheathing your bare arms. "Let's just go back now.”
This time, he doesn't protest. The silence that clouds the short walk back is expected on his part, and purposeful on yours. 
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roosterr · 11 months
Text
white flag ✹ ch 2
note: thank you all again for the support on this series im seriously so grateful <3 not sure how to feel abt this part but pls enjoy anyway <3
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pairing: ghost x gn!reader
wc: 3.0k
no use of y/n readers callsign is 'stingray'
summary: the gang goes out to the pub, and against your better judgement you decide to tag along. you end up having far too much to drink and ghost has no choice but to look after you.
warnings: ghost is less mean (but it's still ghost), the usual angst, hurt/comfort, arguing, some ambiguous drunken confessions, mentions of throwing up but i kinda skipped over it
ao3
【prev】 || 【next】
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the relentless buzzing of your phone next to your head wakes you from your slumber. you groan, squinting at the screen to see soap's name on the caller id. you answer and lift the phone up to your ear, rubbing your eyes with the other hand as you pull yourself up to sit.
"hey! where are you?" soap's voice is almost deafening in your ear as soon as you pick up, you have to hold the phone away from you to save your hearing. "y'are still comin', right?" the faint noise of a crowd can be heard in the background, reminding you of what soap's question means.
you check the clock on your phone and wince at the time; it was almost nine, and you were supposed to meet them at the pub at eight.
"ugh," you clear your throat, your voice croaking from having just woken up, "yeah– yeah, i'm coming. just gimme, like, fifteen minutes."
"awright, l.t. said you was still asleep," soap chuckles, clearly amused by your sleep-addled state. you sit up and throw the blankets off your legs, swinging them over the side of the thin mattress and beginning the search for some clean clothes.
you hadn't gotten out of bed all day, opting to stay in your comfy pyjamas and barely leaving the living room except to briefly eat and use the bathroom. after the the disaster that was yesterday, you felt you deserved to have a lazy day for once.
"oh, so he already left without me? why am i not surprised?" you grumble, balancing your phone between your cheek and your shoulder as you pull on some trousers.
"he said he didn't wanna wake you!" soap is half laughing as he replies. you have to hold back your scoff as you put him on speaker and drop the phone onto the coffee table as you quickly put your shirt on.
"yeah, okay." your voice is dripping with sarcasm, and you can't help but roll your eyes, even though he can't see it, "i'll be there, hanging up now, buh-bye."
you just about hear his muffled 'bye!' before you press the red button and shove your phone into your pocket. 
you really didn't feel like being social right now, but maybe being around your friends and letting go is what you need right now. you could just ignore ghost – it's not like it'd be hard, you were fully expecting him to completely avoid you all night. knowing him, he'd probably make you walk home by yourself again.
the walk to the pub is uneventful, thankfully dry, and it takes you twenty minutes instead of fifteen. you feel a little bad for making them wait, but they've been there over an hour already, an extra five wouldn't hurt.
the noise of the crowd hits you as soon as you walk into the old building, and you hope it isn't noticeable the way you frown at the sight of how packed it was. you were feeling even less like socialising now that you were actually here, but it was too late to turn back now. your eyes scan the room, searching for your teammates in the sea of people. you spot a familiar mohawk fairly quickly, and begin pushing your way through the crowd to the booth he and gaz are occupying.
you glance towards the bar and price and ghost both there, too locked in conversation to notice your arrival. you'd have to find price later to say hello.
"sting, you made it!" soap's cheery voice brings you back to the present. he pats your shoulder as you slump into the seat next to him, and gaz slides your usual order across the table to you.
"ordered for you a minute ago." gaz smiles, leaning forward on his elbows, "figured you could use it."
"you're legend, gaz, honestly." you chuckle in response, taking a drawn out sip and relaxing in your seat. as much as you would rather still be in bed right now, you couldn't deny you needed it.
"you okay? you look a bit worse for wear." gaz asks, his gaze turning serious as he takes in your exhaustion.
did you? you hadn't actually looked at your reflection before you left the house, you simply hoped that you didn't look too dishevelled and didn't think twice about it. you suppose the bags under your eyes must be quite heavy after the nosedive your life seems to have taken lately.
"charming, thanks for that." you mutter, teasingly raising your brows at him as you take another sip of your drink.
"sorry, sorry," he and soap both laugh, before he regards you with a more concerned look, "but seriously, you doin' alright?"
"i'm fine, just tired, you know how it is." you dismiss his question with a wave of your hand, hoping he'll drop the subject and you can get started on forgetting about the events of this week. "sorry for being late, by the way."
"make it up to us with another round?" soap wiggles an eyebrow at you, tilting his empty glass at you and nudging your arm. 
"since you asked so nicely," you say with a lighthearted roll of your eyes. they both give you a triumphant 'thanks!' as you slide out of the booth and begin making your way through the crowds of people to the bar.
as you approach, you see ghost standing by himself at the bar, a black surgical mask cover the lower half of his face, and before you can stop yourself your legs are already leading you to the empty spot next to him. as usual he doesn't acknowledge you, but you can't find it in yourself to care through the buzz of the alcohol in your system.
you flag down the bartender and order the drinks for the three of you while adamantly trying to ignore the large presence next to you; you'd barely started on your first drink, but you were going to need more than that to get through this, especially if you and ghost were going to be dancing around each other all night.
the next couple of hours are filled with you downing drink after drink, steadily becoming less and less intelligible as the night progresses. at some point gaz excused himself to go chat with price at the bar, leaving just you and soap at the table. though you couldn't see ghost when you looked over, you had no doubt he was lurking in some shadowy corner somewhere, just watching.
"he's just so…" you wave your hands around, willing johnny to somehow understand your point as the words escape you, "...y'know?"
"do i know?" he laughs, obviously very amused by your drunken state.
"mean! he's rude and uncooperative, and it pisses me off." you groan, pressing your fingers into your temples. venting to someone about ghost was somewhat cathartic for you, even if that someone was his closest friend.
"aye, that's not how you really feel though, is it?" soap raises his brow, that insufferably teasing smirk on his lips as he gives you a light nudge.
"wha–" you gawk, freezing in the motion of downing your drink – you'd lost count of how many you'd had at this point. you narrow your eyes and glare at him, "garrick… he grassed didn't he?"
"you think i needed him to tell me?" soap laughs again, and you feel your cheeks heat up at the thought that you were really that obvious. "but seriously, you should talk to him."
"i should, right? i mean… we live together, it's not unreasonable to ask him to be civil."
"exactly!" he exclaims, making encouraging gestures at you with his hands. "maybe you two can get a bit more than civil," he grins mischievously and wiggles his eyebrows at you, earning an embarrassed groan from you.
"oh, shut up soap." you hiss, gulping down the rest of your drink in one go. "i'm not drunk enough for this…"
after that conversation, your concept of time truly left the building, along with any reservations you had about moderation. eventually you do find time to say hi to price, though you think he was probably laughing at how out of your mind you were rather than the hilarious joke you told him.
you're not sure what time it is when gaz, soap, and the captain track you down to say goodnight, leaving the pub with much more coherency than you when ghost drags you out with him.
the freezing temperature hits you as soon as you step over the threshold, but thankfully there's more than enough alcohol in you to keep you warm.
you started the night fully intending to give ghost the cold shoulder, but that was hours and however many drinks ago; now you were long past the fun part of being wasted and the depressive nature of it all was hitting you hard.
"i wish you– you didn't hate me…" you mutter, dragging your feet as you follow behind ghost. he's not walking as quickly as he did yesterday, but even in your inebriated state you can tell he's making sure to stay ahead of you.
"i don't." he replies dismissively, evoking an exasperated, albeit rather dramatic sigh from you. of course he was going to argue about it, owning up and apologising would be far too mature.
"y–" you hiccup, "yeah you do," frustration lacing your voice. you slow your pace until you completely stop walking, staring at the back of his head with narrowed eyes.
"i don't hate you, sting." he sighs, half turning his body to look at you. "come on, keep walkin'." he gestures with his head.
"ugh…" you groan, but comply and stumble forward catch up to him again "then why're you such a fuckin' prick all the time?" you glare at the side of his masked face now that you're walking next to him.
he says nothing, doesn't even look at you. if you didn't know any better, you would doubt he even heard your question.
"i don't hate you, y'know…" you mumble,  crossing your arms over your chest. "even though you're so– so horrible to me all the time." the urge to cry overwhelms you, your eyes falling to your boots as you shuffle along.
"i'm n–"
"you are!" you interrupt, throwing your arms out to the side and stopping in your tracks again. "every day you say shit to me, i don't– i don't get it! i don't know what to do…" you sniffle, dragging a hand over your face and taking a wobbly step backwards, away from ghost. "why can't you just be nice? like everyone else?"
the night air is cold, and so tense you can almost feel it. ghost's hands curl into tight fists by his sides as he stares you down. 
"i'm your lieutenant, sting, not your mate." he states it like a common fact as he reaches an arm out to you, stepping towards you. "you're drunk, come here."
you don't let him get close, however, and take another few steps backwards. "but you're friends with soap, and gaz, and even the captain!" your eyes well up with tears, and despite your best efforts to stop them, you feel the hot sting of them rolling down your cheeks. "what did i do wrong? why can't you like me too?"
again, he does nothing but stare at you. he blinks once, then twice, in what you might call shock – if you could see his face through the way the world spins around you.
"i like you!" you cry. "i always have, and you– you don't have to like me back, but please," you close your eyes in an attempt to alleviate your sudden dizziness, "just stop being such a dickhead to me! you make my life so difficult, and– and miserable!"
"sting…" ghost mutters, watching as you crouch down on the pavement with your head in your hands. he steps closer again, reaching a hand out to awkwardly pat your shoulder. "is that why you got yourself hammered tonight?"
"yes!" you whine through your tears, your head still swimming and causing you to sway slightly. "like you care!"
"listen," he begins, but you quickly cut him off by lurching forward onto your hands and knees on the harsh pavement.
"i'm gonna throw up–"
✹✹✹
"i'm sorry," you blubber, feeling rather pathetic where you're slumped next to the toilet, "please don't kick me out," tears still fall into your lap, but you gave up wiping them away a while ago.
"what?" ghost mutters from next to you. his calloused hands were keeping you upright from where he's crouched beside you on the bathroom tile. "why the fuck would i kick you out?"
"be– because i'm annoying, a– and you hate me…"
he sighs, "do you really think that lowly of me? how many times have i gotta say it before it gets through your thick skull?" he gently raps his knuckles against your forehead, "i. don't. hate you."
when you only sniffle in response, he sighs again before shifting to sit with his back against the bath next to you.
"well you could've fooled me…" you mutter, letting yourself lean against his side when the effort of keeping yourself up gets too much. you feel him flinch slightly and tense underneath you, but he doesn't move.
"i'm not good with…" he pinches the bridge of his nose, his head tilted downwards and his eyes squeezed shut. "i'm not kickin' you out, alright? no matter how much you piss me off." he pauses, and all you can do is watch him with your mouth slightly agape; this is the most he's ever said to you in one go since you met all those months ago. "and i shouldn't have run off last night. i just… i didn't realise you actually wanted to be friends… with me."
"bu…" your voice trails off, train of thought completely abandoned when he looks over and meets your gaze with his rich brown eyes.
"you're… you– i, er…" his eyes dart away from yours, finding a spot on the wall behind you to stare intently at. a sudden wave of exhaustion floods your senses, dropping your head onto his shoulder and allowing your eyes to fall closed, interrupting whatever thought he was trying to articulate. "fuckin' hell, alright… you're drunk, let's just get you to bed, eh?" his voice is just about audible as he manoeuvres your arm over his shoulders and lifts you to stand with practically no input from you.
he all but drags you out of the bathroom, and if you had any shred of coherency left within you you'd be mortified that he had to take care of you like this, but that's something for you to deal with in the morning.
you're pulled into the the living room where ghost drops you rather unceremoniously onto the sofa-bed, tugging the blankets from underneath you and settling them on top of your already half asleep form.
"night ghosty…" your sigh is muffled with your face buried into the pillow, but he pauses in the doorway when he hears it.
"goodnight, sting." he mumbles, before quietly shutting the door and letting you drift to sleep.
you wake up the next morning – or rather afternoon, since it was already one o'clock – with an absolutely splitting headache. it was expected, obviously, but it didn't stop you whining in pain as you sat up and clutched your head. how much did you end up drinking last night?
last night. right. it was all coming back to you now. you'd cried at ghost again, for the second night running, and even though he said he wasn't kicking you out, you would seriously prefer living on the streets to facing him right now.
you reluctantly emerge from the living room and squint at the bright daylight, groaning pitifully when your head pulses. maybe you should save yourself the trouble and just go back to sleep.
"so, you survived the night." ghost's voice calls from the kitchen, sounding incredibly unimpressed. you cringe at his words, naively hoping that he'd pretend the night before didn't happen like you so desperately wanted to.
"did i?" you grumble, walking through the doorway to find him sitting at the kitchen table, clad in his usual balaclava. you lean against the counter and massage your temples, "feel like i've been shot…"
"maybe you'll keep your head on straight next time. i don't want a repeat of that."
you purse your lips. "right…" you mutter, no energy left in you to come up with a retort.
"i had to drag you home, cryin' your eyes out." he gets up as he speaks, grabbing his cup and skirting around you to place it in the sink. he keeps his distance, but you see him watching you from the corner of your eye. "anyone would'a thought i was kidnappin' you."
"oh god…" you bury your face in your hands, your face heating up with the humiliation of the memory, "i'm sorry,"
"s'alright." he mumbles, still opting to gaze out of the window rather than meet your eyes. you blink in surprise at his short dismissal, but before you can formulate a response, he speaks again. "have a shower, sting. you stink."
you open your mouth to argue, but quickly forget about that idea. he was right, of course. without another word, you scurry out of the kitchen and lock yourself in the bathroom. you drag your hand over your face, willing the floor to just swallow you whole already.
you might as well have just died in your sleep, because you can't see ghost letting you live any of this down for as long as you live; though, as you stand there contemplating fleeing the country, you notice that he hadn't been nearly as pissed as you'd expected him to be this morning. you'd anticipated him grilling you about how careless you'd been and how irresponsible it was to drink that much, but the light teasing you'd endured just now felt more like the kind of banter you witnessed between him and soap, or gaz.
you can't help the giddy smile that overtakes you, your killer hangover nearly forgotten in favour of the thought of him finally letting you get close to him.
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taglist: @sofasoap , @siilvan , @mockerycrow , @i-love-ghost , @projectdreamwalker , @achelois-is-here , @adamsloverboy , @thatchickwiththecamera , @chickensandwich69 , @batmanunicorns523 , @tiny-kasper , @dezibou , @pampeop , @cumbermovels , @goth-boi-atlas , @berryjuicyy , @guiltgoreglory , @postmodernrevolutionist , @ghostlythots , @untoldshortsofthefandoms , @isseisslvt , @prodyng , @neteyamsb1tch , @delilah-grimes , @sunflowerqueen1416 , @luvssemma , @ghostslittlegf , @imonmykneessir , @dimitriene , @kenz-ee , @eistro-phobia , @rzmarona , @alanalanalanalanalanna , @dommmymommy , @carolelacroix , @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore , @cathnoneofyourbusiness , @madsothree , @geisterfvhrer , @lazyninjaphilosopher , @aliilium , @koi-feish , @chaoticgoblindev
if your name is crossed out, i can't tag you for whatever reason, sorry!
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writingforstraykids · 5 months
Text
I owe you a kiss
Pairing: Minho x Chan x fem!reader / Minchan x fem!reader
Word Count: 4344
Summary: As the upcoming comeback gets closer, Chan starts isolating himself from you and Minho, getting overwhelmed. He can't quite deal with feeling so much and nothing at all at the same time and takes it out on the two of you. Minho and you try to help your husband out.
Warnings/Tags: angst, fluff, argument, chan feels numbish, fear of flying, domestic married life, emotional hurt/comfort, angsty!chan, soft!min
A/N: I don't know where that came from, but enjoy me fabricating 4k of angst and domestic bullshit in like half an hour😭🥹
PART TWO
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My mind is complicated Find it hard to rearrange it But I'll have to find a way somehow Overreacting lately Find it hard to say I'm sorry Still - Niall Horan
You gently knock at the doorframe to your bedroom to avoid startling your husband and step inside. “You have everything you need, darling?”
Minho's currently packing his suitcase for his trip lasting a week. He looks up, gently blowing his hair from his eyes. “I think so, yes,” he flashes you a warm smile. After checking everything once more, he nods and throws the suitcase closed. "Where's our Channie love?" he asks, pulling the zipper closed and fidgeting with the lock. 
"Working," Chan gives back from next door. 
"Of course you are," he says more to himself, making you giggle. Over the past few days, Chan grew very quiet, burying himself in work and avoiding you for most of the time. It happened sometimes before a busy schedule, and Minho had learned to deal with the fact that Chan needed this to recharge. Minho, Chan and you had been dating for four years before tying the knot five years ago. He knows the two of you inside out by now after almost a decade. Minho strolls into Chan's working area and rests his hands on his shoulders. "Hey, there." 
"Hey," Chan gives back, not looking up from his screen and staying seated at his desk. 
"You're hungry? I can order something," he tells him, gently running his hand through his hair. 
"Stop that," Chan grumbles and tilts his head away from him. 
"Okay, sorry," Minho nods calmly and pulls his hands back. For a moment, the sound of Chan's fingers hitting the keyboard is all that can be heard. "So?" he asks, his patience starting to wear thin. 
"I'll keep working," he shakes his head. 
"Chan," Minho says firmly. "I'm leaving after that, and it would be nice to have lunch with my wife and my husband." 
"Fucks sake, you're annoying," Chan sighs and waves him off. "I'll be there in a moment." 
"Thank you," Minho rolls his eyes and makes his way downstairs. "Someone's in a mood," he grumbles as he leans against the kitchen island beside you. 
“Don’t take it to heart, you know he gets sometimes,” you say soothingly, rubbing his shoulder. “What are we getting?”
“Whatever you want, honey,” he winks at you and lets you scroll through the options. “I don’t get him. It’s still a month until the album drops, and we have pretty much everything sorted out. Sure, I have to come up with two more dances, but that’s my issue, isn’t it?” he asks.
“You know Chan makes everything his responsibility,” you tell him and hand him back his phone. “He’ll calm down again; I’ll see what I can do.”
Minho sighs softly and orders the food, still seeming a little pissed off. Usually, Chan knows how much Minho needs a stable environment before a flight. He's scared of flying enough as it is, but especially when he's caught up in his thoughts. So it confuses you a little that he doesn’t seem to pay much attention to that today.
You call out for him twice as your food arrives until Chan finally joins you downstairs. 
Chan's staring into the distance, pushing his food around on his plate and staying quiet as Minho and you keep on talking. 
"Tastes good?" Minho asks after a while and gently nudges Chan beneath the table. 
"Yeah, I guess," he shrugs and ignores the frown Minho gives him. 
"How's work going, Channie?" you try your luck. 
"Great," he simply says, shoving some food into his mouth, clearly signaling he doesn't want to talk right now. 
"Good," Minho nods and sighs softly. "I'm a little nervous." 
"Why?" he gives back, almost a little routined.
"I hate flying, as you know," he groans frustratedly. 
"You did fine before," Chan shrugs and takes a sip from his drink. "It's just a flight." 
"Yeah, that's the point, isn't it?" Minho asks, starting to get a little irritated. 
"Don't be a baby, you'll manage," he says, and Minho stares at him, unable to come up with a proper answer. 
"Thanks, very helpful," he presses out, gripping his glass tighter as his hand starts to shake. He has no time for a mental breakdown right now. 
“Channie,” you sigh softly, deciding to step in. The last thing you want is Minho to leave like that.
Looking up, Chan sees the confusion and anxiety clouding Minho's eyes. "Sorry, Min, you're not a baby," he says, not very convincingly, but it seems to be better than nothing to Minho. 
Minho glances at his watch and clears his throat. "I'll go and grab my stuff," he announces. 
Chan rolls his eyes once he's gone and braces his head on his hand, staring out of the window. He wonders how the hell he'll be able to finish everything he has to do in so little time.
“Channie, angel?” you ask gently, and he hums in response. “At least try and be nice? He’s gone for a week after.” 
“You two are fucking exhausting,” he groans, and you raise your eyebrows, ready to answer as Minho comes back downstairs. 
You get up to collect the trash and decide to continue this talk later.
"I'll see you in a week then," Minho says gently, and Chan hums, agreeing. "You'll be okay?" 
"Sure," he nods and stares into the distance. 
Minho takes his hand and tries to meet his eyes. "Love?" he asks, and Chan very slowly turns to him. "You know you can call if you get overwhelmed or need help with anything." 
"Mhm," he hums and pulls his hand from his hold. 
"Okay," he chews on his lower lip for a moment. "Well, I'll be leaving then."
"Okay," he nods. 
"Can I at least get a kiss?" Minho asks quietly, and his heart sinks as Chan frowns. 
"No," he simply says. 
"No?" Minho echoes quietly, subconsciously taking a step back. 
"Don't feel like it," he shrugs and glances at his watch. 
"You don't feel like…wow, okay," he nods, trying to swallow down the sudden sickness spreading through him. "Did I do something wrong?" he asks timidly. Maybe this wasn't just Chan pulling back, but he had done something to upset him. 
“No, you didn’t, Min,” you say firmly, staring at him irritated.
Chan turns to look at him properly for the first time today. Minho's heart sinks at the carelessness in them. "Right now, you're keeping me from working. I have stuff to do, mate."
"Mate?" Minho presses out, taking a few steps back. "Alright, I'll see you in a week, bestie. Seriously, fuck you," he snaps and grabs his keys. 
"Minho, come on," Chan groans, rolling his eyes at him. "Stop overreacting." 
Minho fidgets with his wedding ring before slamming it on the table. "Know what that is?" 
"You're being serious right now?" Chan raises his eyebrows at him mockingly. 
"That stupid little thing means we're husbands, idiot. I've been by your side for nine years now; I think you can start using appropriate terms, Chan hyung." Minho says firmly, and for a moment, he considers leaving the ring here. But then he remembers he has a public image to maintain, and showing up without one of his wedding rings would raise questions. Also, deep down, it feels wrong already to only wear yours. 
"You're being ridiculous," Chan says and gets up, pushing past him. 
"No, I'm hurt. There's a difference, Chan," he tells him, grabbing his suitcase. "But fine, I'll leave like that. I'll see you in a week then." 
"Fucking great," Chan nods, walking upstairs and not looking back. 
Minho watches him, stunned, before finally leaving the house and slamming the door closed. 
You stand still for a moment, trying to process what has just happened. "You had one job, Chan! Be nice!" you shout upstairs. 
"Fuck you too!" he shouts back and slams his door closed. 
"You two are fucking ridiculous sometimes," you curse and search for your keys. 
Minho gets into his car and stays there for a few minutes, trying to calm down. Secretly, he hoped Chan would join him and make things right before leaving. But he doesn't. The door to his car opens, and you lean down to look at him, raising your eyebrows in amusement. “Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he groans and gets out quickly.
You giggle softly as he rushes over to you and pulls you into a tight hug. “Well, goodbye then, darling,” you tease him lovingly.
“I’m sorry, he pissed me off,” he groans, stifling his laughter in your shoulder.
“I know he did,” you laugh and soothingly pat his back. “Give him time to sulk; he’ll start missing you in two days top. He always does.”
“You’ll be okay?” Minho asks, pulling back and looking at you caringly. 
“I’ll be fine. It’s Channie,” you giggle, and Minho snorts. “Deep down, he just needs a cuddle and acts tough so we won’t notice how stressed he is.”
“You handle this way better than I do, even though I’ve known him longer,” he laughs, rolling his eyes at himself.
“I just have a little more patience for his bullshit,” you giggle and check your phone. “You should leave before you miss your flight.”
“Ugh, fine,” he groans. 
“You’ll do great, my darling,” you assure him. “Call me when you land?”
“You know I will,” he promises, lovingly kissing you goodbye. “I love you, honey.”
“I love you too, Minnie darling,” you smile.
-
Minho has been gone for four days when he gets a call. To his surprise, it's Chan's number popping up on his screen only minutes before a fashion event. Minho searches for a quiet corner and takes the call. "Hey, I don't have much time. What's up?" he asks calmly and frowns at the silence that follows. "Chan?" 
"Something's wrong," he says quietly. 
"What do you mean?" he asks confused. 
"I don't…I don't feel good," he says monotonously. "Something's off." 
Minho swallows softly. "Where are you?" 
"Home," Chan tells him.  
“Where’s Y/N?” he asks.
“Left,” he answers quietly.
“What do you mean she left?” he frowns, nervously scanning the crowd around himself.
“Told her to leave me alone. She took that to heart,” he explains. “She’s with her best friend.”
Minho exhales relieved, knowing you are safe with your friend. "Channie, what's wrong?" he asks patiently. "You can't just push us away. We love you, and saying yes five years ago means you're stuck with us," he chuckles, waving off his assistant tapping her watch.  
"I know," Chan says and chews on his lower lip, unable to put it into words. "Remember when I had that episode of feeling worthless and overwhelmed back when we were trainees?" 
"Mhm, of course I do," he nods, swallowing hard as he thinks of Chan's emotional state back then. Nothing had worried him that much in a long time. "Is that what's going on?" 
"No…I feel..kinda numb," Chan admits and curses himself. "I feel so much and nothing at all. I feel like crying, but I can't, I can't focus on anything, I feel like everything I do is pointless and…Minnie, can you come back home?" he asks, his voice whispering. "It's starting to scare me whenever I have a clear moment." Minho rubs his face tiredly, and Chan takes his silence the wrong way. "I know you have shit to do…I just thought..I need you, please?" 
"Give me an hour to sort this out," Minho says, and Chan exhales in relief. "I want you to grab a blanket, make yourself some tea, and put on your favorite series. Get comfortable on the sofa downstairs. You think you can do that for me?" 
"Okay," Chan nods. 
"I'll let you know when I'm on the plane," he says, sighing softly. "Channie love?" 
"Yeah?" he asks quietly. 
"Don't do anything stupid," he says, his grip around his phone tightening. 
"I owe you a kiss," he answers, and Minho smiles sadly. 
"Damn right you do," he nods and is about to end the call. 
"Minho, baby?" Chan asks, almost a little timid. 
"Yes, dear?" he asks patiently. 
"Have a safe flight. You can do this, and I'll be there once you're back," he says, and Minho blinks back tears, gripping his phone tightly. 
"Thank you," he whispers. So he hasn't forgotten. 
-
You frown softly as Minho’s name pops up on your screen. Shouldn’t he be at some fancy fashion event right now? “Min?” you take the call confused. 
“Hey, honey,” he says sweetly. “You have a minute?”
“Yeah, of course,” you nod agreeing, and smile at your friend thankfully, who hands you a cup of tea. 
“Chan called,” he says and sighs at the silence following. “What happened?”
“Well, what did he tell you?” you ask stubbornly.
“Stop playing games, baby girl,” he warns you. “I should’ve been on some red carpet five minutes ago. So, what happened?”
You roll your eyes and subconsciously play with the two small rings decorating your ring finger: one for Chan and one for Minho. “I made the mistake of thinking I’d get a hug and kiss goodnight from my husband,” you tell him quietly, and he can tell you’re hurt. “He told me to leave him alone, so I did.”
“Fucking hell, Chan,” he breaths out and throws his head back in frustration. “I promised him to come home early, but I need some time to figure this out.”
“Oh, please, Min, it’s only three days,” you protest. That’s not what you had intended at all. “We can manage that, and we’ll talk once you’re back.”
“Well, he can’t,” he shakes his head.
“What?” you ask, confused.
“He called me to ask if I can come back because he’s not doing alright. He said something about feeling numb and like failing,” Minho explains, following his assistant, who had given up by now, to his car.
“Shit, Min, I didn’t know. I thought he was stressed and taking it out on us,” you say apologizingly. 
“Relax, I didn’t know either,” he sighs, getting into his car. “Listen, I’ll be back home in a few hours. You think you can go back home in the meantime?” he asks gently. “I know you’re hurt and-.”
“No, it’s alright. Of course, I’ll go back home,” you say, already getting up and gathering your things. “You have a key to get in?”
“I think so, yes,” he nods.
“Alright, I’ll see you later then. I’ll go check on Channie,” you promise, and Minho exhales, relieved. You quickly explain everything to your friend before driving home a little faster than you should. Closing the door, you kick off your shoes and rush into the living room. 
Chan looks up at you, confused, eyes widening at the sight of you. “Y/N?” he asks stunned.
“I’m so sorry, Channie angel,” you apologize and sit down next to him on the sofa. “I didn’t realize you were struggling that much. I thought you were stressed or something.”
“Min told you?” he asks, chuckling as you nod. “Typical, can’t keep a secret.”
“He’s worried,” you scold him gently and take Chan’s hand. “I’m worried.”
“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you,” he admits. “I don’t like worrying you. I just gave up hiding from Min because he witnesses most of it during work anyway.”
“Fair point,” you hum softly and hesitantly rest your head on his shoulder. This time, he lets you. “I’m sorry for snapping at you.”
“I’m sorry for pushing you away,” he says, squeezing your hand gently. “I’m not myself at the moment. Min has helped me out before when we were still trainees, I trust him with this.”
“Okay then,” you nod, smiling as he wraps his arm around you. “I’m here if you need me.”
“Thank you,” he says gently.
-
When Minho gets home a few hours later, he feels drained, pushing his suitcase into a corner and kicking off his shoes. He's still wearing the makeup and outfit for tonight's event, having wasted no time with changing. He tiredly runs his hand through his hair and stares at it for a moment, still shaking as the adrenaline and fear of the flight slowly wear off. His eyes fall upon the wedding rings on his finger. His heart steadies, remembering why he's there as he looks at Chan’s. 
A pair of hands slip into his, taking his smaller ones and gently squeezing them. Minho looks up and meets the eyes he fell in love with all those years ago. Chan moves their hands up to his face, planting a tiny kiss on each of his knuckles. "Breathe," he tells him quietly, and Minho exhales a breath he didn't know he was holding in. 
Minho can't stop himself and pulls him into a tight hug. He buries his face in his shoulder, stomach sinking as Chan stiffens for a moment in his hold. He pulls back, unable to meet his eyes. "Sorry, I should know better, you're not feeling up for this right -." 
Chan cuts him off by pulling him in and shaking his head. "Sorry, I'm a little slow at the moment." 
"That's okay," Minho assures him and gently rubs his back. 
"I can't do anything right at the moment," Chan says quietly, gripping the back of Minho's suit jacket tightly. 
Minho soothingly runs his hand through his hair. "Sometimes it's enough if the only thing you did today was breathe." 
"If you think so," Chan mumbles into the fabric as he buries his nose in his shoulder. 
"I know so," he tells him, resting his head against Chan's. 
“You told Y/N,” he speaks up after a moment. 
“Of course I did. She’s our wife, Channie love,” he giggles softly. “She should know, it’d worry her more not knowing what’s going on.”
He hums gently and tightens his hold on him. "I don't know what to do," Chan admits quietly. "I never felt so empty and isolated." 
"I know that's probably hard to believe right now, but I promise you'll always find me in these three places: In front of you to cheer you on, behind you to have your back, and beside you, so you're never alone," he starts out gently. "I'll find a way to make you feel full again…fuck, that came out wrong," Minho groans, and for the first time in almost two weeks, Chan laughs. 
"Idiot," he giggles and pulls back, meeting his eyes. He reaches out for him, hesitantly brushing back a strand of hair, fingertips tracing the features of his face. Once he reaches his lips, Minho plants a gentle kiss against his fingertips. Chan looks up, and he can't quite pinpoint the look in his husband's eyes. "I messed up that event for you, didn't I?" 
"It doesn't matter," he assures him. "You're more important." 
"You're mad?" he asks, squinting his eyes at him a little. 
"Do I look mad?" he asks gently. 
Chan frowns a little. "No…you look pretty." 
A soft smile covers his lips and travels to his eyes. "That's very sweet." 
"It's weird because I can tell what you're feeling, but…I have no clue how to grasp what I'm feeling," Chan admits, tears brimming his eyes. "I'm messed up, aren't I?" 
"You're struggling," he reminds him kindly. "We can work this out. We did that before." 
"Promise?" Chan asks, searching his eyes observantly. 
"I promise," he says, holding Chan's hand wearing the wedding rings. "I told you I'd be there, no matter what," he tells him, and Chan nods firmly, holding on to the truth of those words. "I need to get rid of the makeup and…whatever the hell that is," he says, looking down at himself. They've put him in some suit and casual clothes arrangement with way too many straps in a different fabric to his taste. 
"I'll help," Chan says, and Minho nods thankfully. 
“Channie?” you ask quietly. Minho turns in Chan’s hold and smiles softly, seeing you. You’re wearing one of his sweaters, and your hair messily falls around your face. You tiredly rub your face and squint at them before the realization hits you. “Oh, Minnie, you’re back,” you beam.
“Hey, honey,” he says softly, grabbing your hand and pulling you into their hug. He plants a tiny kiss on top of your head and giggles as you pout at Chan. 
“Got cold without you,” you tell him. 
“Sorry, baby,” he chuckles and rubs your back. "I had to check on Minho." 
"You're doing okay?" you ask him gently. 
"I'm glad to be on solid ground again," he snorts and lovingly brushes back your hair. "Let's go upstairs. Channie's helping me, and then we can all go to bed." 
"Sounds great," you nod and tiredly rub your eyes. "Channie?" you ask sweetly, making grabby hands at him. Chan snorts and rolls his eyes before lifting you up to carry you upstairs. You smirk at Minho as he follows the two of you. "Doesn't he look handsome?"
"Already told him so," Chan comments.
"You look like a prince, darling. So cute with that glitter around your eyes," you compliment him, and Minho blushes. 
"You're too kind, as always, my beautiful wife," he smiles shyly, and your heart swoons at his last words. 
"Careful," Chan says as he lowers you on the bed. He makes sure you're comfortable and tugs you in already, leaning down and planting a light, almost hesitant kiss on your forehead. "Thank you for coming home," he tells you quietly enough for only you to hear as Minho throws his bag in a corner of the room. "I feel more safe when you're here." 
"Always," you promise. Chan makes his way over to Minho, helping him with his outfit's many buttons and straps. He also removes his shirt and grabs a new one from the closet. "If I weren't so tired, I'd enjoy the show a little more enthusiastically."
Minho's ears burn up red, and he quickly slips into the shirt. "If you weren't so tired, I'd make sure you put that pretty mouth to use for something other than talking shit." 
Your jaw drops, and Minho smirks succeeding. "Fucks sake, you guys, I thought we'd be getting some sleep," Chan protests, making you both laugh. "Okay, sit down," he tells Minho and gets comfortable on the edge of the desk. He plants his feet on Minho's chair, left and right of his thighs. Chan places one hand beneath Minho's chin as he starts wiping away all the makeup, cursing softly to himself about all the glitter around his eyes. "As if you'd need any of this shit," he groans, and Minho giggles softly. 
"You know how it is," he shrugs and closes his eyes for him as Chan gently removes the last remains of his eyeshadow. His eyes flutter back open as Chan takes off the small diamond earring for him. "Thank you, love," he says softly, reaching for him. 
Chan slides off the desk and right into his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. You smile gently, watching them, knowing their goodbye hasn't been that great. He sighs softly and brushes his nose against Minho's. "It's good you're back." 
"Yeah?" Minho asks with a shy smile. 
"Mhm," he hums, sinking deeper into his eyes. "Feels safe." 
"I love you," Minho says, rubbing his lower back soothingly. 
"I know," he nods and presses their foreheads together. "And I know I feel the same way about you…even now." 
"That's good," he says, squeezing his hips. "Don't force it, we have time." 
"Being with you feels..good," Chan tells him and subconsciously presses himself closer. It reminds you a little of what he said to you before you fell asleep on the sofa. At least he seems to be able to feel comfort as well. 
Minho very gently reaches up, cupping his face and caressing his cheeks. "How does that feel?" 
"Warm," Chan says, covering his hands with his own. 
"You like that?" he asks, trying to figure out how to start tackling the issue at hand slowly. 
"Yeah," he nods, a small smile covering his face. 
Minho thinks for a moment before he knows what to try next. After all, his husband was a sucker for compliments he couldn't take for shit. If that wouldn't make him feel something, he doesn't know what would. "You're so beautiful, you know, Channie love. Such a handsome husband with those sweet eyes and bright smile," he says, noticing a slight blush creeping up his face. "Don't get me started on those soft curls. Or the way my hands fit perfectly into yours." Chan shifts on his lap, eyes widening a little as he takes it all in. "Have I ever told you how much I love you being so cuddly?" 
"Minho," he protests gently. 
"Yes, beautiful?" he asks curiously. 
"He's right, Channie angel…but he forgot about your cute laugh and caring sweetness," you chime in. “Or the way your strong arms wrap around me, the way you let me rest on your chest when I’m tired, and how cute you get when you soothe me to sleep.”
"Stop," Chan groans softly. "Now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside," he says, hiding his face in his shoulder as Minho chuckles. "Don't laugh."
Minho smiles and plants a tender kiss on top of his hair. "See? You're still able to feel good things as well." 
"I'm not fucked, in that case?" he asks so innocently it makes you and Minho crack up. 
"It's a good start, don't you think?" he asks, giggling. 
"I guess so," he chuckles and sighs softly as Minho runs his hand through his hair. "Keep doing that?" 
"Let's get to bed, I won't let go of you tonight," he promises. 
"What about me, Minnie?" you pout softly. 
"I'm in the middle in this case," he snorts, and Chan and you seem happy with that. He smiles as the both of you cuddle up to his sides, heads resting on his chest. Minho soothingly plays with Chan's hair, smiling as you take Chan's hand and intertwine them on his stomach. 
PART TWO
MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES
Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)
@kai-lee08 @mal-lunar-28 @malfoygalaxies @soullostinspaceandtime @brownieloved @rebecca-johnson-28 @euphoric-univers @hyunniebunni @galaxycatdrawz @aaasia111 @channieaddict @kthstrawberryshortcake
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t4tstarrailing · 2 months
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little aventurine thought
with his religion's prayers, I feel like he'd be weird about people touching his hands, specifically his palms. and when he shakes hands with strangers, it's always with gloves on. if they aren't on, he'll shake his hand off like he's trying to get rid of the handshake. or he'll excuse himself to wash his hands before sitting down for a meeting with him. many think he's a germaphobe for this reason, but he's simply picky about who touches his bare hands. he also tries to use a kiss on the cheek for greetings, really anything to avoid shaking hands.
this extends into his relationships as well. kisses to him are more casual than holding hands. giving his partner hand massages are VERY intimate for him, even if he doesn't express that fact. he may start out with linking a single finger with his partner, or soft knuckle kisses to them. it'll be YEARS before he's comfortable fulling holding hands with his partner casually. and even then, he'd prefer it done rarely. most of the time he'll wordlessly press his palm to his partner's and rest his forehead against theirs, closing his eyes and simply existing. sometimes he'll mouth his prayer, but most of the time he'll sit in silence.
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cheapshrimpysheep · 8 months
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Meanwhile with Malleus
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SUMMARY: You spent a lot of time with Malleus while the others fought ghosts. What could have happened in all that time? You needed to sleep before the party. And maybe he taught you how to play the organ.
CHARACTERS: Malleus Draconia x Reader 🐉🦐
TAGS: Fluff, GN Reader, Cuddles, Flirting, Kissing
WARNING: Spoilers from Twisted Halloween: Spectral Soiree
WORD COUNT: 2.830 words
COMMENTS: The truth is that I started writing this a few weeks (maybe months) ago and it has been on hold for a long time. As this event returned to the Eng Server I decided to finish it and post it in October.
I hope you enjoy 💚
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After all that Halloween week, the Magicam Monsters and that parade, you were dead tired. You just wanted to rest after all that. But someone knocks on the door of Ramshackle Dorm.
“Tsunotarou?!” You didn't know whether to show that you were happy to see him or to ask if anything was wrong.
“Child of Man,” Malleus speaks with a smile “I'm here to invite you and the rest of the Ramshackle Dorm residents to an Halloween party at the Spectral Realm.”
You don't seem as happy about the idea as he thought you would be. And you were confused too. “A Halloween party? At the... what's the Spectral Realm?”
He briefly tells you about the ghosts and the party he plans to throw with the other NRC students at the Spectral Realm.
“I don't know if I can handle another party, Tsunotarou.” you say sadly “I'm really so tired.”
“Yeah...” Grim says “I mean, even if there's a feast, I still need to rest to have the energy to eat more.”
“Besides.” you look at the clock “Halloween is almost over.”
“Oh, don't worry about that little detail.” Malleus smiles and snaps his fingers. You stop listening to the clock ticking and when you look at the clock again it's eleven fifty-nine.
“Can you stop time?” you say almost in a whisper.
“You should know by now that I am capable of doing many things.” he smirk “But this spell is only affecting the Sage's Island. And about your tiredness, I'll let everyone else sleep until the party preparations are done, I can arrange a quiet place for you to rest in the Spectral Realm if you like.”
“We already sleep with ghosts so it shouldn't make much difference, right (Y/N)?” Grim says.
You sigh and end up accepting it. Malleus smile gladly and then looks at your tired posture.
“If you are also very tired from walking all day, I don't mind helping you.”
“Would you carry me in your arms?” you ask partly jokingly, partly hoping he would say yes.
He laughs, loving your boldness. “Are you sure you want to make such request?”
“Is that a no?”
“No, it is not a No. Fu fu. Honestly answering your question, yes, I would carry you if you needed. And yes, I would carry you to the Spectral Realm.” he smiles amusedly at you.
“Oh come on, just jump to his arms already or something!” Grim complains. “And do everyone a favour and get that room.”
You blush, Malleus laughs. “In fact, we should go. I don't want to keep Lilia waiting any longer. May I?” He asks you.
You nod and he picks you up, bridal style. One hand behind your knees and the other on your back. As easily as if you weighed nothing. Inevitably, you need to support yourself by putting your arms around his neck and your faces get very close. He’s smiling and his eyes looking at you affectionately.
“OI!” Grim complains again “My paws are hurting too. I also want to be carried.”
Malleus laughs again. “That can be arranged.” He turns his back to Grim and wraps his draconic tail around the little beast's waist. “MRAH!” And picks his up. “You are able to come by yourselves, correct?” he asks the three ghosts who have been watching in secret from you.
When you arrive at the Mirror chamber, Lilia was there waiting for you all. He just didn't expect Malleus to bring Grim with his tail and you in his arms. First Lilia worries.
“Oh! Did something happened? Did (Y/N) get hurt on your way here?”
You get even more embarrassed. Mainly because you knew that Malleus would tell Lilia the truth.
“Fu fu fu. Don't fret, Lilia.” Malleus smiles, like he's glad Lilia saw the two of you like this. “Child of Man is just really tired of walking all day and asked me if I could carry them.”
Lilia looks at you and gives you his sly smile. “Oh, truly? Fu fu fu. How daring for a human.”
“Can we go to that ghost world already?!” you hear Grim's voice complaining. “This is not that comfortable you know.” Malleus flicks his tail to the side, revealing to Lilia a Grim caught in a black dragon's tail. And Lilia starts to laugh heartily, almost bringing tears to his eyes.
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Malleus only put you back on the ground when you arrived at the Sparkling Chamber. You took a moment to admire the place. But it didn't take long for you and Grim to start yawning.
“Ah, yes. I promised you that I would find you a place to rest.” Malleus remembers.
“Indeed, (Y/N) must rest.” Lilia says “I sure know how harmful lack of sleep can be to a human. If I'm not mistaken, I think there are some rooms beyond this Chamber that you can use.”
Malleus would go with you to find a room while Lilia started getting the chamber ready for the party.
You found a good one, but it had no furniture or what little it had was broken. You comment on trying to find another one, but Malleus says that won't be necessary. With a snap of his fingers the room is cleaned and the furniture repaired.
In one corner of the small room was an antique carved pine single bed. The sheets were white and the cover a pale purple. Similar to Malleus' own bed in Diasomnia. Grim jumped to the foot of the bed and was asleep in seconds. You, on the other hand, look a little unease.
“I can change your clothes to pajamas with magic if it makes you more comfortable.” Malleus suggests.
You say that would help a lot, so he gestures and your Halloween costume changes to pale green pajamas. It was comfortable, like the bed you sit on. But even so, there was still something that didn't leave you completely at ease.
“I know I sleep in a dorm with ghosts now.” You explain. “But I only sleep well today because I've gotten used to them and the dorm has had some improvements. But I almost couldn't sleep the first few nights. I don't know if I'll be able to fall asleep here.”
“I see. Would you feel more rested if I stayed by your side until you fell asleep?” He was smiling, like he was sure you were going to say no.
When you say yes, he is taken aback for a moment. His bright green eyes looking at you wide open in astonishment. But then he remembered who he was talking to and laughed with the greatest of joys. He smiled warmly at you. “You know, I believe some children want company to fall asleep so that person can protect them from me. This is... an interesting... no, delightful turn of events. I dare say”
You open the sheets and lie down. After placing them on top of you and settling down on the bed, Malleus sits down beside you. He could use magic to put you to sleep, but he didn't want to. He wanted to see if you genuinely felt comfortable around him to the point where you could fall asleep.
“Briar Valley has many lullabies.” He tells you, with the softest of voices. “Sleep and dreams are deeply embedded in our culture. Would you like me to sing you one of our lullabies? Allowed me to guess, your answer is yes.”
“You can't make a proposal like that and expect me to say no.” You say with a soft smile and already with your eyes closed.
Malleus chuckles and happily fulfills your request. He sings to you in a sweet tone, that becomes even more affectionate when he looks at your sleepy smile.
When he finishes, you are already fast asleep. He is smiling looking at you and take one of his hands to your head. But stop before touching you, hesitating. As if he's afraid that the moment he touches you, you'll startle awake. But even so, he took the risk.
He puts his hand on your head, stroking your hair. And you don't wake up. Actually, your smile comes back slightly. He is so happy about it. And he decides to risk it just one more time.
He leans over you and kisses your forehead. And you were still sleeping. “Dream of me. As I dream of you.”
He stayed with you for a while longer. Before he finally left to assist with the party preparations, he did two things. First, he cast another spell so that outside noises wouldn't disturb your sleep. And second, he put a paper on your bedside table in case you wake up earlier than necessary. It said that since you had no way of knowing if you slept too much or too little, because time was still, you didn't have to worry that he would wake you up when the time came.
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And that is what happened. You feel a kiss on your cheek and a familiar voice in a sweet tone saying your name. You open your eyes to find Malleus's bright green ones looking at you, over a sweet smile.
“We hear that the other students have already woken up and are on their way here.” Malleus explains, sitting on your bed watching you stretch. “So we figured you should have gotten enough rest too. Did you sleep well?”
“I did. Thank you so much.” you sit on the bed.
“For asking?” He seems confused that you would thank him so much for something so trivial.
“No. For what you've done. For fixing the room, giving me a comfortable bed and mostly staying with me until I fall asleep. I probably wouldn't have been able to sleep here without you.” You hear snoring at the foot of your bed, behind Malleus who was facing you. “Unlike Grim.”
Malleus seems very happy about what you said. And there was something he really wanted to ask you. “Do you happen to remember what you dreamed? People dream every night, but sometimes they forget about them and that's why they think they didn't dream that night.”
A dream? You think. And yes, you remember! But you say it was a silly dream. When the truth is, you're slightly embarrassed.
“I've heard that the silly dreams can be the most meaningful.” Malleus says. “I would love to hear about yours. But if it's something you don't want to tell me, I understand. Dreams can be extremely personal.”
You think about it. It was no dream that I couldn't tell anyone. It was even...cute. So you decide to tell him.
You remember you were in a forest, for some reason. You lived there? You had lots of animal friends and you remember singing and dancing with them. What you were singing... you recognize... it was the lullaby Malleus sang to you. There was an owl wearing the cape of the Houseworden of Diasomnia, a rabbit in each black boot with green heels, and a squirrel with a small pillbox hat, balancing on top of the owl's head.
When you finish describing this part, both you and Malleus are laughing. “I wouldn't be surprised if I ever witness the same scenario with Silver's clothes.” Malleus comments between laughs. But you hadn't finished telling the dream yet.
As you danced with the animals, someone appeared behind you and continued singing and dancing with you, making that song a duet. When you turn around, you find Malleus.
“Did I scared you?” He asks about the Malleus in the dream. He was smiling, but you knew that wasn't his real smile. It was a smile that hid some apprehension.
“No, of course not. I was very happy to meet you there.” He looked like you had lifted a weight off his shoulders with just those words of yours. The next thing you remember is dancing with Malleus in a ballroom. and what you were wearing was constantly changing color because... Two Lilias? Were arguing about whether you should be wearing green or purple.
And with that the two of you started laughing again. Malleus said you should tell that last part to Lilia, he'll love it.
“I dreamed of flying tuna cans.” Grim said, to prove that he too was already awake. "But I couldn't catch any. It was a nightmare.”
“Fret not, Grim. There will be plenty of food for you when everyone arrives and the party begins.” Malleus assured him. “And now that you two are awake, I should change your clothes back.” He wave his hand and Grim's hat and cap come back, but this time they're green instead of purple.
He gets up from your bed and holds out his hand to you, like one of those gentleman helping you out of the carriage. You give him your hand and get out of the bed. Then he surprises you by spinning you, like the dance move.
When the spin ends your clothes have changed. But not like Grim's that stayed the same, just changing the colour. Your clothes were also green now, where once were purple, but they weren't the same as the ones the ghosts gave you. It looks like an improved version, with more details and accessories. Malleus looked at you as if admiring you and proud of his work.
“How do I look?” you ask.
“Wonderful.” He simply says with a smile, as if it were an obvious truth.
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He offers you his arm for you to walk arm in arm into the Sparkling Hall. He tells you about the plans for the party as you walk down the hall and explains about the mirror ball. And when he tells you that he plans to play the organ during the party you are so excited and curious that you ask him if he could play something for you.
He smiles. “I think there will be no problem. I may even take this opportunity to practice.” He takes you to the organ and asks you to sit next to him while he plays.
It's no surprise that he plays beautifully. You look at him playing which practically hypnotizes you. Your ears appreciate music while your eyes appreciate him.
He looks at you smiling, as if he knew you were looking at him the whole time. He lets you get flattered, he loves seeing you like that, before asking you: “You can play?”
“Organ? Oh no, I don't.”
“Would you like to try? We have plenty of time until the guests arrive. I can teach you a simple melody.”
You accept his offer. He smiles happily.
“I'm glad. I'm eager to hear you play. Even if it is a basic song. However, forgive me if this is an impolite question, but would you mind sitting on my lap while I teach you? it will be easier for me to show you the keys and the correct way to move your fingers from a similar perspective as yours.”
You try to say you don't mind without showing how happy you really are. However, it's not that easy, and he laughs with delight that you not only don't mind but are happy with the suggestion.
You sit on his lap and hear a soft sound on the floor behind you. You glance back and Malleus tries to hide his draconic tail whose tip was happily wagging. You don't hide your giggle. Your back finds his chest, his hands cover yours to indicate the keys you should play and he begins to teach you a simple but beautiful song.
After a few minutes, you forget the world. It's just you, Malleus and the organ. You fail a few notes and he corrects you with a laugh. When you get it right you hear him congratulating you and saying you're doing well. And all the while you can feel the affection he has for you, the gentle way he holds your hands, the sweet way he talks to you even when you miss the notes. Until you end up reaching the end of the song.
“Wonderful.” Malleus says with a sweet and dreamy voice “That was the most beautiful play I ever heard.”
“But I failed so many notes.” You remember him, smiling.
“I'm very aware of that. But it was the first thing I heard you play. So it will always be special to me from now on.” he takes his hands out of yours and hugs you around the waist. And lay his head on your shoulder. “You will always be special to me.” he whispers in your ear, and kiss your cheek.
You hear that sound of his tail wagging happily on the ground behind you again.
If you decide to tip your head back, tell him how you feel about him and allow him to kiss your lips, you will receive the most loving kiss and he will hug you tighter.
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If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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soap-ify · 4 months
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mdni.
YOU'RE AN ANGEL, I'M A DOG | simon 'ghost' riley x reader
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05 — i'll meet the judgement by the hounds.
chapter summary — a fool and a coward, that's the realisation you had come to.
tags / cw — no smut, fluff, a bit domestic honestly, basically reader's drunk and simon takes care of you, bittersweet, simon opens up... a bit, angst, suicidal thoughts, very subtle religious references if they even count as one, simon's in denial and reader is on the verge of losing it all. [4k words]
masterlist | ao3 | prev | next
Simon had come to the conclusion that you were a snake, and your love was your poison. Maybe he really was a coward for being afraid to let your venom drown into his veins.
“Remind me to never take you out for drinking again.”
If it weren’t for Simon holding you carefully against him and walking through the street, you’d surely have collapsed on the ground all drunk and worse, thrown up by now.
It was a little mistake. One drink became two, and then three. You had forgotten about your tolerance, and here you were now. It’s all because of Simon. That’s what your excuse was, blaming it all on him. Which was true in all honesty, you had gotten too excited about this little hangout.
“You’ll never go out with me again?” Completely mishearing his words, you looked up at him with wide eyes, tears already approaching. Yeah, you were completely drunk. Simon froze, his heart tearing at the sight of your incoming tears, even if they were just due to your emotions being all over the place now. Emotions that had always been there, hidden deep within.
His first instinct was to ignore your words and just keep walking, his heart begging for him to comfort you. But again, how does a killer comfort an angel? How would the moon comfort the ocean, while being so far away?
“I didn’t say that.” He gruffly replied and continued to look ahead, not daring to meet your eyes anymore.
O Angel, let me fall on my knees, kiss your fingers, and weep for forgiveness. So you may hold my absolution, and make me man again.
“C’mon, we gotta take you home.” Simon internally cursed himself for not taking you both to the bar in a car. He hadn’t considered the possibility of you being a drunk mess. Do I ever consider anything?
“No!” Your loud whine echoed in the empty pavement, and he could barely hold in a chuckle, deciding to bite his bottom lip beneath his mask. “Can’t we spend more time together, Si?”
I’d spend a lifetime with you. But god forbid he ever said those words. Not to you, not to anyone. “S’not like m’gonna die or somethin’, or that you’ll never see me again.” Simon grumbled and tightened his hand around your waist, accommodating your wobbly body, guiding you.
Simon wished he could take your hands and sway around with you, let both of you move into a sweet dance, with the stars praising you. A performance for the cosmos. He wished he could hold you when you throw yourself over him, to let you never escape his embrace. Lovers forever tangled.
He wished.
He wondered what something like that even would look like. His dad never danced with his mother. He remembers his mother looking at him, holding in her tears and forcing a smile. “I promise your dad loves me, just as much as I love him. He's just… exhausted nowadays.” He wished his mother didn’t consider him a naive — a child.
Simon doesn’t think he was ever a child. A child is innocent, his very first cry was a sin.
“Simon?” Your voice snapped him out of the reminiscence he was trapped in. He let out a soft grunt, urging you to continue.
“Have you… Have you ever seen a ghost?” You burst into laughter at your own poor attempt at the joke, a rapid change of emotion, though in your defence, it’s definitely very funny. Your free hand tried to wipe the tears as you continued laughing, and Simon swore that this was truly the angels’ hymn eliciting from your mouth.
“Do I count?” He grinned behind his mask, the side of his eyes crinkling a bit. You quickly shook your head and stared at him with determined eyes, fully set on your question. “In that case, no. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one, love. But if I do, I’ll make sure to tell ‘em you said hello.”
If it was someone else like Kyle or Johnny who would be laughing about this joke, Simon was sure that he would have said something snarky or just straight up ignored them. But not with you, never with you.
“You’re the best.” You beamed, his heart squeezed painfully.
“We’re almost there.”
Upon arriving at your apartment complex, he dropped you off outside your apartment’s front door, the only thing in mind being to flee quickly so your sweet smile doesn’t taunt him anymore. Though he simply couldn’t, your fingers not letting go off his forearm at all. Too exhausted to figure out if it was intentional or not, he sighed under his breath and turned over to face you, brown eyes having a slight shine in them due to the hallway’s light.
“C’mon, you gotta go in and rest.” He couldn’t figure out why his breathing was falling short. Was it the alcohol? He barely drank anything.
You, on the other hand, tried your best to not look up at him and meet his eyes, knowing that it would shut you up. Like the intimidating gaze of a god, a warrior. You had to speak your mind, had to know about something, to ease the storm in your head.
“Are you getting bored of me?” These words slipped out of your lips as a meek whisper, forbidden.
It was a sickening feeling that ensued within Simon after that, as if something was grabbing his heart and trying to rip it out of his chest. Inhale, exhale. He didn’t know what exactly horrified him. Probably the fact that he knew what had caused you to think like that. The perfume.
O Angel, let me carve my heart out with a knife and hand it to you as an offering — apology. So may your hands embrace it and take me home, with thee. So may your fingers caress my cheek once again, and let my blood paint my skin.
“No.” He was embarrassingly quick to reply, fingers curling up into fists by his sides as he inhaled sharply. How could he put such thoughts into your head? How could I? Only a devil, the most evil being, could commit such atrocity.
You paused at his words, not knowing what else to say. No? Then why was that perfume there? You didn’t want him to think you were dumb enough to not notice that. “You’re lying…” Your voice cracked, and it was no longer the alcohol playing you like a puppet. It was you now. You felt like your own marionette. Stop speaking, fucking stop. “I am not dumb, Si. I saw that p-perfume on your couch the other day. Is that why you got mad at me?” God, stop talking please. “You could have just… said that you prefer other girls. Am I… Am I making a fucking fool out of myself here?” It terrified you, your own emotions terrified you. Your voice was rising just a bit, and all your feelings had their hands wrapped around your throat. Controlling you. You didn’t want to speak, didn’t want to say it out loud. You weren’t used to being so open about your mind, and now you felt like nothing but a cat shivering under the rain — alone and abandoned. Vulnerable, naked.
Maybe you and Simon weren’t so different after all. Vulnerability — just why did it terrify humans? Were the angels and the gods just as opposed to vulnerability?
“Oh, l-” Love. It almost slipped off his tongue, and he didn’t know if you even wanted him to call you that right now. The thought alone made him shudder uncomfortably. He didn’t know what to do — stuck in between two roads. Should he lie? Or tell you the truth? — That it was just one time, a drunken act that is nothing but lamentable to him.
Why were you both even acting like an actual couple right now?
He swallowed the lump that threatened to torture his throat, exhaling softly. “I was drunk, and it happened. She probably left her perfume accidentally.” He spilled the truth out. Just the way a mature person would. Don’t be fucking daft, Riley. His eyes assessed the subtle twitch of your brows at that, your lips quivering. He wished he could just lean in and kiss all the tears away, despite them not having landed on your cheeks. Hopefully they won’t.
“Oh…” Your response was too short, unsure and reluctant. It made Simon feel as if he had sinned once again, chains threatening to drag him into the darkest depths of Hell. Home — the one he was familiar with.
You swallowed nervously and looked down at your feet, your hand long having stopped holding his arm. Instead, your fingers were fiddling with one another anxiously. Why did you feel as if you were betrayed? A desperate cry for love, you wished you could say it to him. To his face, sob and scream about what you felt. He was the only one who understood, who was willing to understand. He was the only one who ever was, and who ever will be.
The agreement. It was no longer just fucking, it never was. Not since the day you saw him with Kyle, not since the day he talked with you after Kyle gestured at you. Never. Could he also see it all the way you did?
Your silence was a clear indicator of the fact that you were lost in your thoughts now. Simon’s eyes softened up, and before he could think rationally, his body reacted on its own and embraced you tightly against his chest, strong arms wrapping around you protectively.
“Fuck…” He cussed under his breath, despising how his voice was thickening up with emotion. He hugged you like an old dog messily giving affection to its owner. My angel, my angel. I sinned, I have sinned. I am sorry.
He pulled you impossibly close, as if wanting to mold his body into yours, to become one. He could be with you forever in that way, to be your breathing and you his heartbeat.
You didn’t even feel confused at his rapid action at all. Just broken, so broken. He was the hammer that had finally hit the dam, and broke it. “W-Why?” Your voice wavered and mixed into a sob, your hands tightened holding onto him, fingers threatening to dig deeper as you let your head rest against him, tears tickling your skin. “I am so tired… So tired, Si. I hate you…”
“Do you want me to leave?” His hold tightened despite his words.
“No.” Your words came out a bit more forcefully than you had intended, too anxious to let him go. You felt his right hand leaving your back, a soft whimper leaving your lips once you felt his lips, bare and real, pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head, soon realising that he had taken his mask off. Too shy and messy in tears, you made no effort to look up at him and instead continued to cry, emotions desperate to keep pouring out and leave the imprisonment of your body. His hand continued to rub the back of your head while his other held your lower back, both of you unknowingly taking a few steps back and forth together, unable to stay still. It was as if you both were dancing slowly, like lovers.
“Alright. Hand me the keys, love.” You tentatively grabbed your keys from where you had kept it and handed it to him, your hands quickly latching onto him again. He carefully unlocked the front door of your apartment and led you inside, being extra cautious so he doesn’t accidentally step onto your feet. Closing the door by kicking it gently with one leg, he gently guided you towards the living room, easing you down onto the couch.
“Do you remember that creepy guy that came into the cafe?” Your voice was still shaky from crying, eyes all glossy as you finally looked at him, heart skipping a beat. Despite already having seen his face the last time, you still weren't used to it. Were you blessed?
He silently nodded and took a seat beside you, his arms leaving your sides so his large hands could cradle your face, thumbs tenderly wiping the drying up tears away while you talked, eyes looking everywhere but at him due to the sudden proximity. He didn't mind it at all, simply adored your sudden sheepishness.
“I still get scared at the thought of him… I don't want anyone like that to visit the cafe again. I-I don't think I can handle it.” Your voice gradually got quieter by the end, nibbling on your bottom lip. Oh, dear. Simon hadn’t told you that he had already beat that creep up. Now he somewhat wished that he had killed him instead. Surely Price would back him up if he made up some reason, yeah?
Your shoulders visibly eased up at that, your mind clearing a bit. Probably sobering up? You were sure that you weren't going to pick up a bottle of alcohol after this. Leaning into him, you decided to rest your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Expecting a soft, calm rhythm — you were instead met with a fast thump, your brows furrowing though you decided not to comment on it.
“He wouldn't. No one will ever treat you like that again, love.” As long as I am here. Possessive yet guilty. He was vaguely promising to be by your side while always avoiding you, protecting you from himself. From the ugliness within him. No angel must spare a glance at a stray, especially not one used to violence.
His hands were playing with the fabric of your shirt now, mindlessly toying with it, feeling the texture under his skin as he gently tugged onto it. It felt oddly comforting, both of you not mentioning what happened outside the apartment a few minutes ago.
You looked up at him again, your eyes falling onto his lips this time. A bit chapped with a small scar adorning the side of his upper lip. You couldn't help but smile at the sight, leaning forward to place a bashful kiss on top of it. Simon let out a soft grumble at that, tilting his head to the side so he could kiss your lips properly, eyes fluttering shut alongside yours. He could taste some hints of your salty tears, his hands holding your waist while your hands held the back of his neck, letting his lips devour yours.
He held onto you gently, not wanting to be tight despite every fiber within him wanting to hold you fully against him once more, like a hound too eager to please.
Once he pulled away from the kiss, his heart skipped at the sight of your lips being all glossy. Ethereal. Your lips twitched into a giddy smile, and he could swear that he felt the heat radiating off you once it crept up onto your face. It felt soft, everything felt too soft and warm. The gentleness threatened to suffocate him once more, a mocking reminder of him being undeserving of such tranquility. He was supposed to be wed to the war, to violence. To the bloodshed that haunted his dreams. Not whatever this was.
But he refused to get up, not wanting to see any more of your tears. “We have to get you to bed. You need sleep.” He spoke quietly, a soft sigh leaving his lips once he felt your forehead pressing against his, letting you lean into him.
“Will you join me?” You normally would have never asked something like that, but the way he was holding you almost made you believe that he was willing to warm up a bit more with you.
Simon frowned at that, pulling his head back slightly. “We can't, you're drunk.”
Realising that he misunderstood you, blood rushed to your cheeks and you looked away in embarrassment, your voice getting timid. “No… I meant sleeping together. Nothing else.”
He paused, eyes softening up as the implication dawned on him. Sleeping together. Innocently domestic — something you both had never touched. He wanted to reject, to say that it’d be better for him to just leave. That could have been the better option anyways. Though he couldn't bring himself to refuse you, too enamoured, as if trapped in some spell by you.
“Fine.” He clicked his tongue in a poor attempt to appear reluctant, masking his inner eagerness. Helping you off the couch, he led you towards the bathroom first, opening the tap. “Let's wash your face first, yeah?”
He did everything — getting you in comfortable pajamas once he finished helping you clean up, even helping you in preparing the bed. Everything. It made you feel as if you were cared for, as if he was the warmth you had ached for throughout your life. The felicity had long spreaded within you once you laid down on bed, watching him lay down beside you.
He was tense, visibly so. You tentatively scooted towards him, a hand reaching out to settle onto his chest, to feel his heartbeat once again. Maybe in this way, you could sync your heart with his, build your own little bubble. Or was that too much to hope for?
“Thank you…” It just slipped out of your mouth like a soft prayer — a hidden whisper to be close to him so more.
“S'nothing.” His eyes looked over at you, taking in the contentment etched onto your face. He wanted to wrap his arms around you and hold you against him, to let you melt in his embrace while you slept. No. That's too much, that's crossing a line. A line made up in his head.
You're building your own grave, Simon. He despised his own mind for mocking him like this, for littering his head with unwanted thoughts. Just one night.
“Sleep now, love.” He whispered quietly, watching you reach over to turn the lamp off. You shuffled besides him again, letting the blanket cover you up.
Simon doesn’t remember the last time he had slept so nicely, your soft breathing his lullaby.
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Upon waking up alone on your bed, a heavy feeling of dread settled on you alongside a throbbint headache. Had he left? Wasn't it just getting better?
Holding your heart together from cracking it with every strength you had, you tried to take a few deep breaths. Don’t panic, don't-
The sudden clinking sound from outside your bedroom made you jolt, and only now could you notice the pleasant aroma of something cooking. Sheepishly, you slid off the bed and tiptoed over to the door, poking your head out to look around. Able to make out some of Simon's figure through the open door of the kitchen, relief flooded deep within you. He's here.
“Good morning, Si…” You greeted him once you entered the kitchen, standing besides him, rubbing the weariness off your eyes. He gave a soft grunt of acknowledgement, focusing on cooking some breakfast.
“Your whole kitchen needs some restocking.” He mumbled, sparing a small glance over at you. You stayed quiet, a bit embarrassed by his observance. You were planning on restocking it soon, anyways.
The morning went by like a pleasant breeze, your mood ever so joyous today. You felt light, as if floating on the clouds and reaching the stars, as if becoming one of them, alongside Simon. He hadn't mentioned much about last night at all, even gave you some pills and an offer for a head massage. You had declined it, mostly because you didn't want to show how greatly affected you were by the subtle signs of care laced in his actions, despite it being already evident all over you.
You didn't know what had driven you to act in the way you did in the afternoon. Maybe you shouldn't have opened your mouth, just kept it shut and complied.
“Si, I um… I want to talk to you about something.” You paused the monotonous movie literally none of you were actually focusing on, turning over the couch to face him, your fingers tightly curled on your lap, digging into your flesh.
Maybe it was just your heart acting out, feeling as if things had changed. Foolishly clinging onto the thin strong of hope, never learning. Never learning that touching stray dogs was bad, they had fleas. Fleas that had already infected you, threatening to devour you.
“I think… Uh- I was wondering- I just-” Fumbling over your words, all you could hear was the loud beating of your own heart, each nerve of yours set on fire. Anxious, too anxious. You wanted to throw up. “I wanted to tell you that I really… like you, and-” Your words drowned into heavy silence once you took note of just how silent Simon was, how he was frowning.
A fool. A fool who dreamt too much, who was too lost amidst the heavenly clouds of tranquility. A fool who did everything to avoid reality — that's what you felt like.
“No.” His reply was rather abrupt, clear. The subtle smile on your lips fell, and Simon wished to do nothing more than drown into a river. “You don't like me.”
“I-I do!” Unbelievable, did he not believe that you like him? Even love him.
“You shouldn't.” That came out more roughly than he had intended to, a little snarl escaping his throat. “We've already discussed it, this is nothing.’
You should have shut up at that, should have somehow sewed your lips together and quieted down. You couldn't, instead growing more agitated, more on edge. “You can't say that, Si! D-Don't you see whatever it is that we're doing?” You whimpered in exasperation, trying to keep your voice from trembling, miserably failing. “I care for you! I do, and you care for me too. I can see it…” Vision progressively growing blurrier with incoming tears, you looked away and tried to ignore the sting in your eyes, your breath shuddering. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Simon was at a loss of words himself, his heart aching to kiss your tears away and plead for forgiveness. He was a cruel, cruel man. Cruel for being so terrified, cruel for being so persistent.
O Angel, forgive me for I can't let you love me, for light should never kiss the shadow.
“You shouldn't…” He repeated his words again, his voice quieter, weaker. A plea, a request. You shook your head, a sob erupting from your throat as you tried to reach out for him.
He pulled away just as quick, your hand never meeting his. An ocean that could never touch the moon, a man that could never touch a star.
“I need to leave.” Hastily he turned around and walked out of your apartment, leaving you speechless, hand still shamefully held out. Frozen and alone, unloved.
Simon Riley was a coward.
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Simon had lost count of how many bottles he had drank by now. Feeling horribly, horribly similar to his father. A drunkard, disgusting. He thought the alcohol could wash his emotions away, drown them hopefully — all it did was make him even more vulnerable, his glossy eyes staring off at a distance.
Weak. Ironically enough, this brute was nothing but weak. Everyone should be laughing at him, you should be laughing at him. Laugh at him for not knowing how to love properly, for being so quick to run away.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing, making him click his tongue in irritation that soon melted away once he noticed the caller ID.
Price.
He picked it up and listened to his captain's words, each syllable both a stab and a blessing.
A deployment again, finally.
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notes — i apologise for uploading it after A WHOLE MONTH. blaming it on the writerphew, a deployment! this could mean many things. also a heads up that either chapter 6 or chapter 7 will be the last one (made some changes to my plan!)
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xxchumanixx · 12 days
Note
Hey can you do one where the reader and Tim is in the middle of having s*x and Tim gets a phone call from his job in metro and he answers the phone while he is still inside of her
Duty Calls
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Tim Bradford x reader
Warnings/Tags: 18+, mdni!, smut, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it!)
Word count: tba
Authors Note: Hello love, thanks for the request! Hope you'll like it!
Enjoy!
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You flinched, as his phone went off again.
"Maybe you should answer it." you suggested breathlessly, on the verge of a moan. He grumbled something against your neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin.
When his phone went silent again, his grip on your hips tightened, his movements becoming faster. You moaned his name, your own grip on him tightening as well.
"Tim." you moaned his name, hips coming up to meet his. "Please, don't sto-" you were cut off when his phone went off again, and he groaned.
His head left the crook of you neck, as he fished for the intruder, his pace never once faltering. He glanced at you, before he pressed the answer button, holding the phone against his ear.
Your eyes went wide and you pushed against him, trying to make him stop. Biting on your lip to hold back a moan, his pace stayed the same, though.
"Yeah?" he spoke into the device, surprisingly calm despite the pleasure coursing through his body with every thrust of his hips. "Sure, when?"
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, as he shifted his hips slightly, now hitting that sweet spot of yours that had you see stars with each thrust.
His brows and lips twitched, as he held back a moan of his own, as you clenched around him. "Okay, what will we find there?" he spoke, his other hand tightening its grip around your waist for leverage.
Your hand slipped between your lips, biting down to keep quiet, as a moan rumbled through you.
His lips twitched again, eyes fluttering, as he somehow managed to increase his pace. "Yeah, sure. Send me the location. What about the others?" he spoke, clearing his throat, and your breathing hitched at how close you were.
You tried to hold off on it, as he leaned more forward, elbow propped on the mattress, phone still pressed to his ear. He was so close you could hear his boss.
Head thrown back, your brows knitted in pleasure, biting down on your hand again to stay quiet.
He hummed into the phone, trying desperately to keep his breathing in check, as he felt himself near his climax as well.
"Yeah I- I'll be there." he pressed out, before hanging up, throwing the phone to the side. His now free hand gripped your thigh, moving you against him with every thrust.
"Metro." he breathed out, panting. Your hand slipped from your mouth, making way for a sinful moan, his name on your parted lips.
You nodded, back arching.
"I'm so close!" you breathed out, moaning again. He nodded in return, pace quickening even further. "Me too." he pressed out through clenched teeth, groaning in pleasure. "Me too."
He watched the way your tits bounced, as his phone went off again. Your body chose the exact same moment to let the coil in your belly snap, pleasure coursing through you with a cry of his name.
Your orgasm triggered his own, and he spilled himself into you, moaning and groaning your name, riding you through it, before he stilled.
Panting, your head fell back into the pillows, as his phone went silent again.
"I'm gonna have to go now." Tim breathed out, trying to catch his own breath. You nodded, as your own phone went off.
Groaning, your arm covered your eyes.
"Me too."
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Tag List
@newobsessionweekly @laheysfilm
@augustvandyne @rookietrek @dhunhdchrih
@nachofriess @wonderland2425
@dtftheavengers
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ciellunee · 6 months
Note
hey hi hello could u do a fic with toji fushiguro and maybe gojo?
one of them (or both 🤭) with a reader who has a very big attitude. like always making up comebacks, acting like a diva, etc. she also has really great hair and outfits. it can be sfw or nsfw—whichever one works better.
Hey! I hope you're doing good✨️ enjoy reading and keep requesting♡
Bratty reader x jjk men
Includes - Toji fushiguro, Gojo satoru
Tw⚠️- contains NSFW 🔞 minors dni
☆Toji fushiguro☆
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At first, he's charmed by your attitude. Nobody ever dared to talk to him like that, but you, you were different.
You're gorgeous. He's in awe of the way you present yourself. From your hair to clothes, your figure and personality, everything is charismatic. Cherry on top is that attitude of yours. You know just what to say. Sometimes, it hurts his ego, but mostly, he enjoys that cute little smirk you have with every spicy comeback.
"Tojiiii, you always have to work on weekends," you whined. 'Some people need to work in order to earn money princess, unlike some who'll laze around the house munching on chips and then complaint they're getting fat.' He shot you a devilish smirk.
"Funny how you're still living under my roof when you work, and I laze around" getting closer to his ears you whisper - ' talk to me like that again and you'll be sleeping on street'
Acting like a brat? He'll make sure he punishes you.
◇NSFW◇
Toji fushiguro doesn't play when it comes to punishments.
He knows how to knock some discipline into your bratty self.
Will pound you from behind and makes you look in the mirror while you continually repeat- "I'm sorry daddy, I've been a brat!"
Degradation is toji's kink. Asks you to repeat things like 'who's sl*t you are' and makes you beg for forgiveness.
Fucks you hard all night until you pass out from all the orgasms you've had.
"Next time make sure your cu*t can keep up with your mouth princess"
☆Gojo satoru☆
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Satoru is fun loving when it comes to you. He adores you so damn much that it doesn't matter how bratty you get sometimes.
One thing everyone knows about satoru is that, he's a very jealous man. He knows you're gorgeous. Your shiny locks, elegant clothing and beautiful skin....everything about you makes him crazy.
"Babyyyyyyy!! I miss your cuddles, you're always so busy" satoru groans. 'I can stop working as soon as you stop leaving your damn work unattended' you shrug.
"You're so mean I bet utahime would treat me alot more sweetly" he smirks. He's petty and he knows that. 'And I am pretty sure Kento would be my ideal match. He never complaints, always have my back, he's a great cook and above all......he's so hot!'
This was enough to throw satoru off the table. You're a mean brat and he NEEDS to cater to that.
◇NSFW◇
"Yeah?? Want to cum babygirl" your moans are slippery and eyes filled with tears. 'Toru ple-please' you whined.
Satoru edges you the whole night, reminding you who he his. "You're always so wet for me"
Asks you to moan his name louder and louder so that you know who's making you feel so good. Loves it when your mind breaks and the only thing you can think about or speak about his him.
"Weren't so sweet a while back? You think kento can take care of you like this? You think kento can make you feel like this? You think kento can make this cunt throb this much?"
Edges you to the climax multiple times but removes his hands until you cry and beg for his forgiveness.
I'll let you cum once I feel you're truly sorry. Till then....let's see how much this pu*sy can endure.
Tags- @brunette-bitch77
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myg-butterfly · 8 months
Text
Nothing New
Ot7! BTS x Choreographer! Reader (Seokjin x Reader focused)
Summary: You get hurt and have to find a replacement. You just didn't think that replacement extended to your relationship with the BTS members. Will they still want you when you're nothing new?
Tags: ANGST (sorry), eventual fluff, Injured!Reader, Fem!Reader, Bangtan are kind of assholes, this isn't really proofread sorry, I also don't know how this shit actually works with Idol groups so I'm just making shit up lolsies.
A/N: HI omg sorry this took FOREVER. I was gonna have this done this weekend but we went to go visit family so I put this aside omg, but it's finalllyyyy here! I hope this lives up to your expectations. Thank you for all the love on the teaser, and remember, comments and feedback are always soooo appreciated!
Taglist: @bangteezbaby @thelilbutifulthings @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @juju-227592 @kikz165 @plexcaffeinate
All the members had just gotten home from rehearsal, and immediately went to find you just so they could throw silly little tantrums about you not being there.
The way they were pouting reminded you more of kicked puppies than world-wide sensations.
"It's fine guys, I know someone who can cover for me until I get better."
"But we like your choreography better." Taehyung whines into your shoulder and you pat his head in comfort.
"It's just a month or two, Tae."
You had broken your leg about a week ago, and consequently, you couldn't continue choreographing for the group until you were fully healed.
Which meant either the boys paused their learning, or you brought someone else in to cover for you - and you're all aware that pausing isn't really an option.
"But I'll miss you." Your boyfriends were overly dramatic, acting like you were leaving even though you all lived together.
"You'll still see me at home, it's not like I'm dropping off the face of the earth."
He huffs into your shoulder and rolls over so he's sitting next to you normally now.
"Anyway, how have you been? Have you felt okay?" Seokjin sits down on the other side of you and you feel yourself growing a bit shy under his caring stare.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
•••
"Hi! Thank you so much for covering for me. We're on a reall-"
"Save it, it's whatever. I always told you you'd need my help again at some point."
You don't like the implications in her tone but you pass it off with a small chuckle.
"Okay, so they already know 2 out of the 5 numbers for this album, and we were in the middle of learning the 3rd one. I taught it to Hoseok in advance so he can take over for that one. So you wouldn't need to be at the studio until next week. I'll send you the videos I took of the foundation of the other 2 numbers so you can learn it and then teach it."
She looked so uninterested in what you were saying, but you had to be professional.
You called her here in the first place.
"Kay, cool, got it. Also, can I get the guys' numbers? You know, just in case."
"Oh uhm, you can ask them when you see them next week… I'm not sure if they want me giving out their numbers to people they don't really know."
"Well they're gonna know me soon right? Don't be greedy, trying to keep all of them to yourself."
She giggles but you can feel that it's not really one of genuine giddiness and you hope that your discomfort isn't apparent.
"I'll ask them when I see them later today."
You plaster on the best smile you can and she gives you an equally forced one back.
"Okay. Bye!"
She basically struts away and you're left standing there; maybe calling her was the wrong move.
•••
Yep. Calling her was probably the wrong move. But it depends on which side of Y/N you ask.
On the professional side, this is absolutely great. They hit it off right away, all the boys growing comfortable with her rather quick (something HYBE valued a lot), and she was great at her job. Talented, bold, confident, friendly, the whole package.
On a more personal side, this was putting you on edge. How suddenly, all the guys would talk about was 'Joanna said this a rehearsal' or 'Joanna invited us out to eat'. It was always Joanna this Joanna that, and you knew they were just excited to have a new friend, to have someone who shares their passion, you couldn't help but wonder if their feelings for you were simply out of excitement. And now that you're not the newest thing around, would they still want you? Would they still talk about you with the same sparkle in their eyes as they do with Joanna? It left a pit in your chest.
And — yeah, calling her was the definitely the wrong move.
Finally, a long-awaited date with all of you. They were filled with energy, talking and joking on the ride there, and you felt your heart growing lighter, you still had them.
They even helped you get off the car with all the gentleness in the world, helped you get in your seat and made sure you were completely comfortable.
The lightness quickly weighed down into something much heavier when you saw Joanna walk in and make her way to the table.
And the weight felt like it had been dropped to you feet when the guys scooted to make space for her, Namjoon even standing up to hug her and letting her sit first so she'd be in between him and Jungkook.
How long has it been since they hugged you with such happiness?
"Oh my god, Y/N, hi! The boys didn't tell me you would be here."
Something about the way she said "the boys" made your hands itch, almost as much as your throat itched to say 'likewise'.
"Welp. I'm here. Haha."
Dinner wasn't fun, to say the least.
Joanna was blatantly saying shit to embarrass you the entire time, and it even worse, your boyfriends seemed to be soaking up her every word, laughing whenever she pointed out something embarrassing about you when she knew you in high school.
"Yeah! And when we choreographed together, she would always forget her parts." She lets out a giggle and Hoseok laughs too: what's so funny?
"It was only once or twice." You groan, mostly to yourself, but Joanna hears it.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night."
Everyone laughs at her words again and suddenly, you start to think that staying home was the better option.
"I've always said she has the memory of a goldfish. Sometimes it felt like I was doing all the work because i constantly had to step in and help when Y/N froze up."
She turns to you when she speaks her next question:
"How are you doing now that I haven't been here to clean up after you? Are you making Jimin do it?" She laughs and nudges Jimin, who's sitting next to her, on the shoulder, and he happily shoves back with a bright smile on her face.
"I'm fine, it's rare that I forget stuff lately."
She gasps in a dramatic manner, you wish she would just disappear already.
"You? Not wasting time in rehearsal? Because you forgot? That's unheard of!"
You hate the way pretty much all of the guys laugh at her words: they know how much work you've put into being a good choreographer. Why were they laughing at you?
Suddenly, you feel the person next to you pressing up closer against you: Seokjin.
You look at him and he has a soft smile on his face, but not towards Joanna; his entire focus is on you.
"You have a really good memory darling. We can tell you've worked on it." The knot in your stomach softens its grip after hearing Seokjin's words, and for the first time since you got here, your smile is genuine.
"Anyways, how'd you injure yourself?"
"Oh, we were doing some cardio and I tripped. Fell at an awkward angle and it twisted my leg. Haha."
Joanna laughs a little too hard at this.
"I've always also said that for a supposed dancer you sure are clumsy as hell."
Some of the guys giggle at her comment, and you look down at your lap: why were they laughing at you?
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Seokjin sit up a little straighter, and you suspect he's gonna say something.
"Supposed dancer?" He raised a brow and to most people, it would've seemed like he was just egging onto the joke, but you and the rest of the table could tell that there was a serious undertone to his question.
It was no secret in your relationship with the guys that Seokjin had a specific soft spot for you – in a relationship as big as yours, its bound that all of you will have your weak spots for one another: Jungkook and Namjoon, Jimin and Taehyung, Hoseok and Yoongi, you and Seokjin.
So you were more than relieved when he met your gaze from across the table; he knew you were uncomfortable.
And as everyone knows, he's not one to stay quiet.
"I just mean it's surprising that for someone so clumsy she went into the professional world where coordination is crucial."
Jungkook uses this point to tease Namjoon, and thankfully the attention is taken off of you. You catch Seokjin's stare again and this time it's accompanied with an apologetic smile and him reaching out his hand to hold yours.
As your hands meet on top of the table, you seem to be the only one who notices the look Joanna sends you at the display of affection.
•••
More days pass by and everyday they get home later and later until you're left going to bed on your own.
You'd made it a habit to wait for each other if one was out late, but it didn't happen often since you had almost the same working hours and when you went out, it was usually altogether.
You'd tried to keep that habit after your injury, but they were coming home later everyday, and you weren't sure you had it in you to keep staying up for them.
Especially on nights like this one, where when they do get home, you're dismissed almost entirely.
The door opens and you sit up, ready to greet them one by one with a hug and kiss, but most of them just mumble a "hey" or "hi Y/N" and walk straight to their rooms.
Only Jungkook and Seokjin genuinely acknowledge you, Jungkook giving you a hug and a peck on the forehead accompanied by a soft "Hi baby." before going to his room as well.
Seokjin also hugs you, but he picks you up while doing so: shifting you in his arms so he can carry you to bed with him.
As he begins to walk, your eyes meet and he sends a soft smile your way.
You barely start to relax in his hold when you realize that he's walking into your room, and you slightly panic at the thought that he's going to leave you alone in there.
Your slight panic turns into franticness as he sets you down and steps away from the bed.
"No! Don't-" Jin whips around at the sound of your voice, and you feel immediate guilt when you see his startled expression.
"Sorry, I- I know you're tired. Sorry, you can go."
Your attempts to decrease his worry don't seem to work, because he's already making his way back towards your bed.
"No, no. What happened? Whats wrong?"
"Its nothing." Seokjin gives you a stern look, you both know that lying to him is impossible.
"It's not nothing. Is it your leg? Or is it something else?"
"Its stupid" you mumble.
Noticing that you're unsure of yourself, he sits closer to you and brushes you hair out of your face in attempts to comfort you.
"Its not stupid if its bothering you" you feel your tears welling up again at how soft Seokjin's voice is. How soft he is with you.
"I just- I don't think I can be alone right now." You lean into his touch as you finally get at least some of the truth off your chest.
"You don't have to be. I was going to shower, do you want to join me?"
"I don't want to bother you."
"You won't."
"But my leg, I won't be able to stand for long."
"It's okay, we'll bring a stool in and I'll help you."
"But you're tired-"
"Never of taking care of you."
Something in your heart settles through the rest of the night, there is no other intention behind Seokjin asking you to join him.
He washes your hair and even dries it once you're out, he helps you get dressed and he goes to sleep holding you, and even if it's just for one night; all is right in the world again.
The next morning, Jin wakes you up and asks you if you'd like to come to rehearsal with the 7 of them. You're elated, to say the least. You knew it was a minimum thing, but your heart couldn't help but flutter at the thought that they wanted you around.
•••
Jin on the other hand, is pissed. Not at you, (never at you), but at his 6 boyfriends and how absolutely dense they could be, this being one of those moments.
He'd mentioned that you were coming with them, and all of them responded well: "I hope she likes the choreo!" "Yay! I want to hear what she has to say."
Their response to you tagging along wasn't the problem, no.
It was their response when he tried to tell them about how you were feeling that pissed him off:
"Wait guys, before we leave, I need to talk to you about something real quick."
All of them were attentive towards him immediately, so he thought they'd receive this better.
"It's about Y/N. And partially Joanna."
"Okay?"
"I talked to Y/N last night and she seemed upset. She didn't really want to talk about it but I'm almost completely sure that she's feeling left out, and I think it may partially be because of Joanna."
All of them begin to speak at once, until Taehyung's voice cuts through everyone else's.
"Why do you think it has something to do with Joanna?"
The 6 boys settle down and stare expectantly at Jin.
"Have you guys not noticed how backhanded all of Joanna's comments are towards her? Even when Y/N isn't present, she always makes a joke at her expense. And not to mention, we've been spending a lot of time with Joanna, much more than we've been spending with Y/N. I know if I were her I would feel hurt; being injured and spending the whole day cooped up alone while my boyfriends are spending all their time with someone who treats me like dog shit."
Jin wasn't sure what he was expecting the boys' reactions to be, but it definitely wasn't the outraged faces they were all giving him.
Jungkook is the first one to respond:
"I mean, I noticed the comments but I thought they were all in good fun? You know, since Y/N and Joanna have been friends for such a long time."
Taehyung cuts in next:
"And if Y/N is feeling left out, I mean I understand but what does that have to do with Joanna?"
Almost as if on cue, there's noise coming from the kitchen, meaning that you're awake.
Jin quickly gets up to go to you, but not before leaving the 6 boys with one final word, "Just pay attention to how she speaks to Y/N, you'll see what I'm talking about."
•••
It's hard to describe – the knowledge that you're being left behind without any obvious evidence surrounding you.
It's not something that everyone outside of your point of view might see, but you can feel it cutting through you deeply.
Not being able to do what you love, and on top of that, not being able to spend time with the people you love, it's a shattering feeling that claws through your chest.
Which leaves you where you are now: in the car with the rest of the boys on your way to rehearsal.
You thought that maybe being back in the studio would relight the spark that made the 7 men drawn to you in the first place, but even the car ride there felt cold and almost uncomfortable.
•••
The atmosphere changes the moment you step foot in the studio. It feels lighter, somehow. You don't know how to feel, not with the voice in your head insinuating that this lightness is because of Joanna; the guys are more at ease with Joanna than they are with you.
You usually hate being wrong: but now, you wish you could say the voice in your head was being irrational, yet you can't. Not when you turn around and see everyone besides Seokjin and Yoongi - who are off conversing to the side - gathered around Joanna, happily talking to her.
When did they stop looking at you like that?
Finally, she takes notice of your presence and makes her way over to you.
"Y/N, girly! Hey! Are you here to learn?"
You don't respond, confused as to what she's trying to ask you.
"Ya'know? Learn from the best! We've been so productive with this number."
She responds like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and you almost feel offended at what she's insinuating.
"Oh, um- I'm here to see what the guys have done."
Joanna blinks at you, as if your answer threw her off, before continuing.
"Oh. Ok then. Cool! And are the boys cool with that?"
You can tell, she wants this to sound passive aggressive. Kind on the surface, but a clear jab at your insecurities.
Jungkook quickly cuts in;
"Of course. Why wouldn't we be cool with that?"
Joanna stutters through her response, being caught off guard by Jungkook as she thought no one had heard her remark.
"Oh! I don't know, you might get distracted? You know?"
"We'll be fine."
This time it's Jin who answers, and even if it's a little selfish, you're glad that his tone towards Joanna is automatically cold.
"Okay thennnn!"
She turns to you:
"But if you start being a distraction I'll have to ask you to step out. Heh, step out. That's funny."
She giggles at her little joke (at your expense), and makes her way into the practice room.
Rehearsal continues as usual, and you feel a bit lighter as the boys all make jokes and include you while they stretch and warm up.
They start to run through the choreography, and your heart swells with pride seeing them dance; all their hard work really does pay off.
As much as you wish to get up and dance with them, or even get up at all, you know you can't. But just seeing them perform will do.
Once they finish, you start to clap and Jimin and Jungkook turn towards you with a playful vow.
"Its looking really good guys!"
All of the boys respond with a 'thank you' and a smile.
"I do have a couple pointers about some things I noticed-"
"Okay, let's run it again!" Before you could finish your sentence you're cut off by Joanna's squeaky voice.
Thankfully, Hoseok cares about what you have to say, and the rest seem to agree as well.
"Wait, I wanna hear what Y/N had to say."
"Yeah! It's felt weird learning a brand new number and not having any of your input on it."
"Y/N, go on." Seokjin is the one who speaks last, and the look in his eyes tell you that things will be alright.
"Ok, so first thing make sure you guys are agreeing on your directions, make sure that it's either a complete diagonal or if its a slanted move so you all move the same direction-"
"Oh yeah, I explained that to them already, they know." You're once again cut off by Joanna.
You use this as a chance to tease the boys, as you always normally.
"Oh, then why are y'all making that mistake huh?" Your tone is playful, and you see Hoseok step towards you with all the intent of playing along, when a gasp coming from your right stops you both.
"Did you come in here just to criticize?"
Of course it's Joanna.
"Wha- no. I was just teasing them. The dance looks grea-"
"I told you you were gonna distract them, and what did I say I was gonna do if you got them unfocused?"
"I didn't mean to, I was just giving pointers-"
"I've been teaching them for the last few weeks, I know what they need to focus on right now."
"But I know that it can look cleaner than it did right now."
"Well this is my choreography! I know what's best! You don't get to come in here and just start shitting on my work because what? You're jealous?! You think you're better than everyone else?!"
You're taken aback when Joanna starts to scream at you, so much so that you try to step back, completely forgetting that one of your feet is injured.
As you place your foot down, a soaring pain strikes from your foot all the way to your thigh. A sob escapes you and that's when Jin's protective nature kicks in full force.
In the blink of an eye, he's crouching next to you and picking you up while everyone else in the rooms stands frozen in place.
The ice is shattered when a wail comes from somewhere else in the room: it's Joanna.
Everyone's head whips to her direction, but for very different reasons.
Jin, for one, is beyond disbelief that she'd go as low as fake crying to get the attention back on her.
The rest of the guys seemed concerned, but not because of her. Rather because they just saw her true colors, how Jin was right, how they'd neglected you.
Seokjin picks you up and rushes out the door, leaving everyone else in the room frozen.
•••
You don't really process anything that happens afterwards. You just know Seokjin is with you as you go to the doctor to get your foot checked out, and that's enough to push you into a state where you know you can space out.
You couldn't comprehend it, how you were hurt and the rest of them weren't there.
Did they even care you were hurt?
It didn't make sense, that you were asking yourself this. When had things gotten this bad? How could they have let thing get this bad? It left you aching more than your injury, and you think that shouldn't even be possible.
When you get home, you find all the boys kitchen, a mess everywhere -much to Jin's despair- attempting to decorate what you assume is a cake. They're all focused to the point where they didn't hear you come in, and if they did, they're really good at acting like they didn't. You want to hide in your room, maybe ask Jin to hide with you, play into their ignorance, but the petty part in you is much quicker.
"Joanna doesn't like cake."
You speak without thinking about it first, and it's clear that none of them were expecting a comment like that, not even Jin, because their heads whip around instantly to you.
You panic for a little, thinking they'll get mad, but Hoseok and Yoongi start laughing at Namjoon's terrified face, at the maknae line looking like they're deer in headlights, and at Jin's round eyes.
Before you know it, They're all running up to you, and Seokjin has to grab you by the waist to make sure they don't knock you over.
They all speak at once, and you can only make out some things like "are you okay? what did the doctor say? im sorry." What cuts through all the rambling is Namjoon's smooth voice, sounding a bit exasperated as he speaks: "The cake is for you Y/N. We were making the cake for you."
Oh.
"Joon! You ruined the surprise!" Jimin stomps his feet, but you know he's not actually upset.
"Well we couldn't just let her think that we were baking a cake for fuckin Joanna!" Namjoon defends himself.
Yoongi steps in front of the two and turns to you, "It was supposed to be a 'Surprise / I'm sorry / We love you / Get well soon' cake but you got here before we finished."
His genuinely dejected demeanor makes you giggle, he looks like a sad cat.
"It's okay-"
"No it's not. Cake or not, we're all really sorry- hold on, we should sit down for this." Jungkook grabs your hand and leads you to the couch, the rest following suit.
You all sit in silence for a second before Hoseok speaks up:
"Well I guess I'll start." He sits up a little straighter so he's facing you directly, and you feel nerves run through you: was he upset? Was he going to scold you?
The guys seem to notice how you tense up, because Hoseok's face falls a into a small frown, while Jungkook scoots closer to you and Jin places a hand on your thigh.
"Y/N, I am so so sorry for the way we've been acting, and the way we haven't been acting. You got hurt under our watch, we should be the ones taking care of you, no questions asked, and we've failed to do that. There's really no excuse for how inattentive we've been. In our heads, or at least my head, I didn't really see you all day, so I thought that everything was okay because I still got to wake up to you, I still got to come home and feel comfortable knowing that you were here: we had your company. But I failed to return that company, we all failed to give you the bare minimum, and I truly am so sorry."
For the time you've know Hoseok, you've only seen him cry once or twice, so when you see tears start to fall from his eyes, it shakes you up and down. Before you can go console him, Jimin speaks up from where he sits beside Hoseok.
"Hobi's right, Y/N. We didn't pay you enough attention. We were too worried about ourselves to consider how our actions looked to you. The whole thing with Joanna, we did spend a lot of time with her, but even then, all we did was talk about you. Not in a bad way, obviously, but you just always came up in conversation. I don't know why I thought that talking about you would translate as 'we're still giving you our attention' as if you could read our thoughts or something. But again, we were selfish and careless, and I can't apologize enough for how we acted."
You appreciate Jimin's attempt at lightening up the mood, and you appreciate his words overall.
The next hour goes by in the same manner. The boys apologize one by one, not to just you, but to Seokjin as well, and before you know it, there's no one in the room that isn't crying, all of you a teary and snotty mess.
"We love you so much, Y/N. Please let us make it up to you. I love you so much." Yoongi's the last one to speak, and he finishes while walking up to you and bowing at your feet.
The rest of the guys join him, even Seokjin, and you don't know what else to do except throw yourself on the floor with all of them and cry.
The night ends with all of you cuddled up on the floor, until Namjoon and Jin make you all get up so you could go lay down properly.
They guys don't let you walk, no, Jungkook carries you while Taehyung and Jimin squish at his side in an attempt to stay close to you.
You all manage to squeeze into a single bed with you in the middle, hands everywhere trying to keep you close.
You feel warmer than you have in weeks, and meanwhile the guys do have a lot to make up for, with arms wrapped around you and sweet nothings floating in the room, you think this is a great start.
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auteurdelabre · 2 months
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SO MUCH TO LOSE - CHAPTER 8 - Dark!Joel x f!Reader
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rating is 18+ folks! words: 6.8k pairing: dark!Joel x f!Reader tags: Mentions of past trauma (Sarah death), Dan Brown, sexual tension, mentions of alcohol, Joel has PTSD. NO use of y/n. A/N: I got some amazing comments here and on A03 where one user breaks down each chapter and highlights what they liked with hilarious commentary and I'll be honest its what has me tip tapping away so quick! Please be sure to spread the love and leave a comment! masterlist here --------------------
Chapter 8: Shoulder to Shoulder
You're halfway through your latest acquisition, The DaVinci Code, a book Jennifer lent you last week. You're so engrossed in a world so unlike your own that you're startled when Ellie slaps herself across from you at the table, barking out your name. 
"When are we baking?"
"I gave Joel the list the last time I saw him," you tell her honestly. "As soon as he has the ingredients we can do it."
Ellie sighs, slumping in irritation. 
"Who knows when that'll be," she groans. "He takes forever to do stuff."
You watch as her posture suddenly stiffens, her eyes peering over your shoulder. 
"What's wrong?"
"Dina." Ellie sneers. "She's so annoying."
Your glance over your shoulder to see Dina laughing with a group of teens. Your eyes dart back to Ellie's face to see her cheeks are flushed and she's still staring over your shoulder. 
"Ellie, have you ever heard the saying that there's a fine line between love and hate?"
"No."
"When I was your age it was the people that I pretended not to like that I actually did," you tell her sagely. Ellie wrinkles her nose.
"What does that mean?"
"It means I wonder if you might have feelings for Dina," you say softly. "Romantic feelings." 
You don't want to scare her, but you also can sense that there's something there. 
"She's a girl," Ellie laughs, but her smile is flat. 
"So?"
"So I'm a girl," Ellie tells you as if you're dim. 
"Girls can like girls."
Judging by the way Ellie stares at you, this concept is either foreign to her or she doesn't want to share this part of herself with you just yet. 
You see the way Ellie squirms in her seat, her cheeks pinking and you decide to drop the subject. You go back to your book, chewing your oatmeal slowly. You feel Ellie's eyes on you. 
"Could you come over this week anyway?" She asks, eyes wide. "We could make those paper flowers like you made for Maria?"
The thought of being in Joel's home so close to your last interaction with him makes you work hard to hold back your grimace. 
"Why don't you come to mine?" You ask, trying to sound neutral. "I have all the supplies there."
"Okay, I'll tell Joel," Ellie is smiling brightly. "And maybe-"
Before she can finish you hear your name being called. Ellie's scowl is back as she watches Jennifer round on the table, her tray filled with eggs, oatmeal and tea. Behind her is Luke is giving you both a shy smile. 
"Morning guys," Jennifer says brightly. "Mind if we join you?" 
"I'll let you know when Joel gets the stuff," Ellie mutters to you, preparing to stand. "See you later."
"You don't have to leave," Jennifer insists in a saccharine tone you just know Ellie despises. 
Ellie mutters about needing to get to school, sliding off the bench seat and moving past Jennifer who tries to throw a smile her way. 
"Bye Ellie." 
Jennifer slides her tray across from you, slumping into her seat, obviously disappointed. Luke takes the empty bench seat next to her, his eyes on his food. 
"She hates me," Jennifer says with a frown. 
"Nah she's just shy," you lie, not wanting Jennifer's feelings to be hurt. She gives you a knowing smile before looking at the novel in your hands. 
"You enjoying the book?"
"Yeah, thanks for lending it to me," you say with a smile. 
"I liked his first one Angels and Demons,” Luke offers gently when he sees what you’re reading, his voice a husky murmur. You like how he doesn't quite meet anyone's eyes when he talks. It's endearing. 
"I’ve never read his stuff before,” you offer. “Not particularly good writing, but it’s nice to read about somewhere that isn’t all raiders and clickers.”
Jennifer watches the two of you as she sips her tea, her light eyes volleying between the two of you as you talk about the book. 
"I thought Luke could shoot with us today," Jennifer says with a queer little smile. "He was saying he wanted to get better for when he and I are on patrols. Is that okay?"
Luke gives you a nervous little smile. "I understand if you just want it to be you two."
You find the thought of more time spent with Luke to be a very appealing idea.
"Of course you can join."
"Great." 
You watch Jennifer and Luke who chat quietly to one another, feeling strangely left out. You preferred it when it was just Jennifer with her soft way of talking to you. 
Luke excuses himself to get some more eggs and the second he's out of earshot Jennifer is leaning forward conspiratorially. 
"He's cute, huh?"
"I guess, yeah."
"Pretty sure he likes you," Jennifer giggles. "I mentioned we were doing shooting lessons and he was suddenly all keen." 
You feel your cheeks heat up at the suggestion. Romance has never really been something you thought about. Survival had always been your focus, even here in Jackson where you have a warm bed and a roof over your head the back of your mind is always fixed on what could come next. 
"He's nice," is all you offer.
It's a honest reply because, you really do think he's nice. He's gentle and he doesn't make you feel anxious like some of the leering men of Jackson. He’s soft and quiet and maybe that’s what makes your pulse jump a bit when he rejoins you seconds later.
///
"You close one eye completely, you lose peripheral vision and depth perception, and you need these to acquire the target and determine lead."
Jennifer speaks like she's reading from a book that everyone has already read and memorized. But none of it makes sense to you and you feel your frustration building.
You and Luke have been practicing with her all afternoon, your forehead dotted with sweat. And while yes, your shot is much better now that you’re aiming with the right eye, you feel like you’re still not good enough.
“You’re doing so well,” she encourages nonetheless, smiling at you.
“You really are,” Luke insists from behind you. Luke is a fast learner, already a decent shot. He’s been doing it a lot longer than you have, and using the correct eye.
“Not good enough,” you mutter sourly to yourself. “Missed that last can.”
Jennifer looks over to the can placed at a fair distance in one of the trees. You’ve hit most of the other ones, but that one keeps evading you.
“Honey that’s a far shot,” Jennifer says covering her eyes with her hand to block the winter sun. “Even I don’t get it most of the time.”
“I didn’t get it once.”
For some reason you can’t stop hearing Joel’s voice in the back of your head: useless. It feels like with every miss you’re just proving his point further.
“Okay sourpuss,” Jennifer says with a roll of her eyes. “We’re taking a break and getting a drink down at the Bison.”
The two of you agree, falling in line behind her. You watch her light hair dance in the breeze as she chats animatedly to the two of you. You wonder why she isn’t inviting her other friends to join you when it belatedly hits you.
She’s trying to get you and Luke together. You think of her winks and nudges and suddenly you know exactly what she’s doing. You want to be embarrassed or even irritated, but instead you find your heartbeat jumping.
The three of you leave your weapons at Jennifer’s before heading down into town. Your mood is lightened a bit by their company and the bright day. Snow has come to Jackson, just a small sprinkling but a definite harbinger of greater snowfall ahead.
The three of you push into the rowdy pub, filled with familiar faces. Some play cards, others are telling stories over pints. A woman named (Reba or Rebecca you think?) stands behind the pub, waving you in and telling you to shut the door because of the draft.
A few folks wave and call out hello’s to Jennifer who returns them with a beaming smile.
The three of you find an empty booth and pull off your jackets and scarves. You take a seat in the booth against the wall, a habit from before; you like to know what’s going on. From here you can see most everything and everyone who enters the space.  Jennifer sits opposite you, Luke following close behind. From here you can see his face, taking in the friendly way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, and the slight gap in his front teeth.
The Tipsy Bison is self serve and you offer to grab the first round, thanking Reba at the bar and bringing the three gold-colored pints over to the table. Luke and Jennifer are deep in conversation about home repair.  They look up and thank you when you slide their drinks to them across the lacquered table.
“I still can’t believe they have a jukebox,” Luke breathes, his eyes lighting up when he gazes at the glowing machine. It plays a pulsing beat that you aren’t familiar with, something to keep the space feeling inviting.
“Go put on a tune,” Jennifer insists, nudging him with her elbow. “Something good.”
Luke gives a toothy grin before nodding. The two of you watch his lanky frame make his way over to the jukebox, heard only faintly over the din of the patrons. You watch him go, your eyes sliding over to Jennifer when she giggles.
“You like him.”
“No I don’t,” you answer reflexively. Your cheeks burn and Jennifer knows not to push it further right now. It’s like she can tell you’re a turtle who will retreat inside her shell if threatened. You think of how to distract her, to turn her to another topic, her favorite one.
“Seen Joel lately?”
You hate how his name sounds in your ears. You hate the syllables, hate how it feels in your mouth like a bitter candy. But you don’t tell her that.
You don’t tell Jennifer that since he came on your tits and announced your carnal times had come to an end that you’d actively avoided him. That you hadn’t come out of your house until this afternoon to practice shooting. That you were going so far as to eat tinned soup just so you wouldn’t run into Ellie at meals.
"I swear I give up," Jennifer sighs, dropping her voice to a whisper only the two of you can hear. "Joel Miller is a lost cause. I've given him every hint."
"Maybe he's just shy," you offer with a shrug. For all you know he might be.
"Or maybe he doesn't like me," Jennifer sighs. "Maybe I'll just be single forever."
You smirk at Jennifer's amusing propensity for the dramatic. As if someone that looked and acted like her could be single forever. Beautiful? Check. Good with weapons? Check. Confident? Check. You muse that if you were attracted to women you’d want her for yourself.
"Or maybe he likes someone else," Jennifer offers with a shrug but your attention is back on Luke who is approaching the table. The gentle strains of some old song play in the background. You think you recognize it from car rides with your family. Luke takes his seat next to Jennifer, his eyes scanning between the two of you.
“What did I miss?”
“Just Joel Miller talk,” Jennifer sighs, plopping her chin in her hands. “The man is an enigma.”
"That's the nicest way of saying asshole that I've ever heard,” you mutter.
Jennifer sputters a laugh at your mumbled remark, almost dribbling out some of her beer.
"Shit, you're funny." 
You smile into your mug, trying not to feel too pleased with yourself and failing miserably. You can't remember the last time someone told you that you were funny. Your sister most likely. It feels good.
Before long the three of you have been talking for almost an hour. Your pints are drained and its Luke who stands, cracking his back until you hear the pops.
"I'm going to get another drink. You ladies want anything?"
"I’m okay but she’ll have another," Jennifer says cheerfully pointing at you. When Luke is out of earshot up at the bar she leans across the table in your direction again. 
"I don’t care what you say, you like him and he likes you. I'm sure of it. Just look how attentive he’s being." 
You feel your face flush, pleased. You don't know how she came to this conclusion but you like the sound of it. The door to the Bison props open and you hear Reba sigh as she pours another whiskey for a sleepy looking woman at the bar.
“Tommy close that dang door unless you wanna rustle us up a space heater!”
You feel your eyes drawn over to the door with a small smile starting. It immediately falls from your face when you see that Tommy isn’t alone. His older, taller, sulk of an asshole brother is with him too.
"It’s him," Jennifer whispers, glancing over her shoulder
Fuck. 
Joel Miller walks into every space like he owns it and is disappointed by it. His heavy lidded eyes sail around the room, taking in the patrons, offering polite nods and tight-lipped smiles at the ones he recognizes.
Luke is retrieving the two pints of beer when the Miller brothers take a seat on the empty stools at the bar while Reba busies herself with another customer. You watch over Jennifer’s shoulder as Luke says something you can't hear to Joel. Joel is wearing a glower so menacing it almost makes you gulp. Tommy gives his brother a strange look before answering Luke. 
You turn back to Jennifer, trying to hide the smirk at her dreamy look. You almost laugh when she unbuttons her cardigan until the swell of her cleavage is showing.
“Just go over to him.”
“I can’t,” she says breathless as she looks back to you. “I don’t wanna be too obvious.”
“Never stopped you before,” you joke before freezing when Jennifer’s eyes go wide.
Was that joke too far? Have you fucked this all up? You feel your throat go dry before Jennifer gives a tinkling laugh, slapping your hand affectionately.
“Oh shuddap.”
Relief floods you, distracting you from Luke’s approach until you feel his hand trail over your shoulder lightly.
"Here you go." 
You feel your stomach clench as you take the drink from Luke, eyes skittering shyly from his face to his hand where it lingers on your shoulder a moment longer. 
“Thanks.”
"Do you think he's waiting for us to invite him over?" Jennifer mutters more to herself than anything. 
"I don't think so," Luke says with a forced laugh as he takes his seat beside her. You feel his knee brush against yours under the table and you swallow. 
"I'm gonna do it," Jennifer promises, taking a moment to build her nerve. She takes a sip of your pint, breathing out.  
As she does this you chance a glance in the direction of the stool Joel was occupying, expecting to find it vacated. Instead he sits there, eyes trained in the direction of your table, no doubt gazing at the back of Jennifer’s head.
"Joel! Tommy!" Jennifer suddenly calls over with a cheerful lilt. "Come join us!" 
No. Please no. No no no.
You try to hide your grimace. You don't mind Tommy, but thoughts of avoiding Joel's eyes make you cringe. Especially since you haven’t spoken since he kicked you out of his house last week. You turn your full attention to your pint, hoping that they’ll deny the request.
You hear shuffling and your shoulders rise to your ears. You try to think of a reason that you can leave, but anything you say would be too obvious. Plus, you really like Tommy and Maria, why should you be chased off by Joel every time you have the opportunity to hang out with one of them?
Your pint shows only your haunted reflection before another face swims into view. Joel Miller looking down at you. Even in the swimming reflection his dark eyes pierce you. You jerk your head up, trying to avoid him. You shoot a wobbly smile in his brother’s direction instead.
“Hey Tommy. How’s Maria?”
“Good,” Tommy replies and you can see the relief there in the warm brown of his eyes. He doesn’t look as tired. “She’s with Douglas and some friends right now.”
You nod, not wanting to say anything more that would draw unnecessary attention. But Jennifer seems to have observed her absence.
“I haven’t seen much of Maria lately,” she says, her face curling into a cute pout.  “Not since the baby was born.”
“She doesn’t really like the cold,” Tommy says with a falter.
“Since when?” Jennifer laughs. “Last winter she-“
“I heard in some cultures it’s normal for the mother to stay in bed for at least twenty one days,” you offer quietly. “And they do a celebration a hundred days after the baby is born with, like a big dinner.
All eyes at the table are now on you and you feel a smidgen of relief at having drawn the attention away from the Maria topic. Joel is staring at you with an unreadable look and Jennifer is looking at you with a queer little smile.
“How do you know that?”
“I had a friend who was Japanese.”
“Oh.”
“Anyway,” Tommy breaks in, relief clear in his features, “the reason I came in was because I’m lookin’ for some volunteers for Patrol C’s slot on Friday.”
At this you hasten a glance to your Friday patrol partner who is looking to his brother patiently. Joel holds a half-full pint glass in his hand, the other shoved awkwardly into his coat pocket. He seems to be ignoring you as much as you’re ignoring him.
“There’s that repair in the old library outpost that we gotta fix quick before more snow gets here. We got that lumber in, plus some nails the other day and we need some extra hands to cart it there and build. So I’m tryin’ to scout a few folks who wouldn’t mind helping. Obviously Joel’ll be doin’ most of it.”
"I'm really good with repair," Jennifer chirps eagerly, smiling up at both the Miller brothers. "Especially windows. And Luke used to work in construction."
Luke gives a small, shy wave. You see Joel frown at that before his attention is back on his brother.
"You two sure?" Tommy looks surprised. "Was gonna offer the volunteers extra portions this week as a thanks. You okay with that?"
"Would have done it for free," Jennifer assures him. You hold in a knowing smirk. Yeah, she sure would. She'd do anything to secure more time with Joel. 
“How about you, Luke?”
“I’m game.”
"Great," Tommy says with a grateful smile. "Saves me having to find a few volunteers. You two show up on Friday and we'll put you to work. Lemme know if ya’ll change your mind." 
You figure you’d best speak up because you don’t want to disappoint Tommy but you also know that your skills with home repair are limited. You’d rather be switched that week so someone else can go in your place. You also don’t want to chance that Joel will verbally lambaste you in front of Luke and Jennifer during patrols.
“I’m not much good with repairs,” you offer quietly.
“Oh, I know,” Tommy says with a playful wink shot your way. “I remember the stables last summer.”
You feel Jennifer and Luke’s eyes on you and you even think you can feel Joel’s brows rising in surprise and intrigue.
During your first month in Jackson City you’d attempted to be a part of things by volunteering for the stable rebuild that now houses Chestnut, Glimmer and a host of other horses and livestock. You’d worked so hard in that blazing sun, but no matter what your nails always seemed to bent the wrong way or the wood was crooked. By the middle of the day Tommy was urging you to leave and get some water and that you’d worked enough for one day and should go home to relax.
But you hadn’t missed the way he started taking apart your work before you were even down the street. Hadn’t missed the soft chuckles from some of the others who were working on the project. Half the town had been there that day, maybe even Jennifer, but all you remember the humiliation of seeing your own inadequacy highlighted.
You’d assumed Tommy wouldn’t bring it up. But perhaps he’s a bit more like Joel than you give him credit for.
“Does that mean you want me to do Patrol A or something that week?” you offer, trying to swallow your shame.
"No no, it's your regular patrol day and you've got good eyes," Tommy tells you, all guile gone from his features. "Repairing the window might draw attention. Wanna make sure someone is watching out while the group works." 
You can't deny a feeling of pride that goes through you at the thought that you're important enough to be brought along for the journey. You’d assumed you’d be left behind. You wait for Joel to scoff or roll his eyes but to your delight he does neither.
"Okay." 
Tommy nods and looks like he’s going to set off for home when Jennifer shoots he and Joel a charismatic smile.
“Join us,” Jennifer all but purrs. “We’re just having another round.”
You don’t remind her that her glass is empty. Your eyes go back to your drink, trying to think of a way to extricate yourself from this awkward interaction.  
“I gotta get back to Maria,” Tommy says with a tired smile. “I just needed to get some volunteers and thanks to y’all I have.”
You hear Jennifer’s breathing hitch a moment. “Joel? How about you?”
No. Say no. No.
There’s a pause, a shuffling of boots and then you feel a warm and sturdy body slide into the booth next to you. The booth is tight and the nigh is busy so there’s not much room to spread out. You feel his thigh press into yours and hold in a groan of displeasure.
Why couldn’t Luke have sat next to you at the start? Now you’re stuck being shoulder to shoulder with a man you can barely stand. The four of you sit across from one another like two couples on an increasingly awkward double date.
You all wave Tommy off before the moment grows quiet with only the other patrons as a soundtrack to the evening. You glance out the corner of your eyes to see Joel’s large hand around the pint glass, raising it to his pouty mouth before drinking deeply.
“So you have construction experience, Joel?” Jennifer offers and you don’t miss how she presses her arms together, highlighting her cleavage. You hide an amused smirk behind your glass, thankful that at least you’ll have Jennifer’s antics to amuse you.
“Carpentry.”
“Me too,” Luke offers and you can see him swallow nervously before looking at the elder Miller in the face. “Specifically cabinetry.”
Joel grunts a reply before taking another sip of his beer. As the men sit across from one another you can't help but observe that Luke has long, tapered fingers, like an artist. Joel's fingers are also long but more blunt, more masculine looking. You don't know why you draw the comparison but you do. 
“I used to do framing with-“ Jennifer starts, but Joel has turned his attention to you.
“What was Tommy talkin’ about with you and the stables?”
Why is he talking to you? It’s not like you’re friends. Is he trying to intimidate you? Humiliate you? You don’t meet his gaze.
“Nothing,” you mutter, taking another sip of your pint. “Was nothing.”
“Didn’t sound like nothin’.”
You hold in a grimace. Your eyes shoot across the table and you can see Jennifer eyeing you and Joel a moment before smirking. “I’m kinda curious too.”
Luke gives you an encouraging grin as well and you swallow, licking your lips anxiously because they suddenly feel bone dry. You wish that you were anywhere else but sitting here in a crowded room feeling trapped.
You don’t want to share that humiliation with anyone else, especially Joel who already thinks you’re useless. You want the attention turning to anyone, to anything else. But all eyes at the table are on you and you feel a flush creeping up your neck.
“I have to go.”
Before anyone can interject you’ve stood up, dragging your coat over your shoulders. You’re about to leave when you feel Joel’s hand on your wrist holding you in place. You turn to face him, scowling as you rip your wrist from his embrace.
“Forgot this,” Joel rumbles.
You glance down to see him holding your red scarf in his fingers. He’s holding it in much the same way he always did before winding it around your eyes and at the sight of it in his grip you feel your throat run dry.
Your eyes flick to his, not immune to the way they darken when you swallow. You snatch it from him, offering a quiet thanks and disappearing out the door.
///
It’s Thursday before you come out of your house again.
You’ve been sequestered in your house all week eating tinned tuna and re-reading old books in your collection. You even toyed with the idea of doing something with your boring walls before deciding it was too much work.
Your humiliation at the Bison hasn’t left you. Neither has the way Jennifer threw you under the bus in front of Joel. Why did she go along with him questioning you? She must have seen how embarrassed you were!
She’s been by several times, knocking and calling your name but you never answer. You’re too embarrassed. You think you’re a little angry with her as well. But you don’t know if it’s justified or if you’re just too sensitive.
She tried leaving cookies a few days ago but they were inedible. Seems Jennifer isn’t good at everything. But you decide the next time you see her that you’ll let all of this go.
So when the door knocks that Thursday morning you slowly open the door, expecting to see Jennifer’s face. To your shock it’s Ellie who stands there in a thick blue parka giving you an incredulous look.
“I thought you were dead.”
“Huh?”
“I haven’t seen you at the dining hall,” she says, sniffling.
“Oh just been feeling a little under the weather,” you lie, fingernail absently scraping the wood frame beside your door. You notice that the end of Ellie’s nose is red from the cold. “You wanna come in for a warm drink?”
“Nah, you said we could make flowers.”
“Oh right,” you answer awkwardly glancing from your feet to hers. “Sorry Ellie. We can do it today if you want.”
“You’re not busy?”
“Nope,” you say, moving to give her space to pass. “Come in and-“
“Nah let’s do it at mine,” Ellie insists, taking you by the hand and tugging. “I got a bunch of that colored paper and wire stuff from Maria plus I wanna show you my room. Joel let me convert the whole garage.”
Everything in you screams no, but Ellie’s earnest face has you immediately caving. Plus you promised her. You sigh, pulling on your jacket and allowing her to lead you to Rancher Street.
///
“Then you wrap the wire around the base like that,” you instruct, reminding her about the extra loop. “Yeah, perfect.”
The two of you have been seated at her kitchen table for over an hour. Colorful swatches of ripped paper and wires decorate the wood. Turns out Ellie is a very quick learner when it comes to the arts. It’s not long before she’s folding tulips and peonies even better than you ever could.
Joel is mercifully nowhere to be found. Ellie mentioned he was out with Tommy doing some errand that would take him several hours. Once she’d made that announcement you’d been able to relax some.
It still feels weird to be in Joel’s house. In your head it was a dark dungeon with dishes piled high and guns on every wall.  So far you’ve seem just a bit of the house which is decorated in whites and blues and the deep brown of carved wood. A normal, boring, ordinary house. A few too many framed photos of horses on the wall but he is a man from Texas after all.
The fireplace is cozy today with the chill of the approaching winter, the kind of cold that settles into the bones. But with the fireplace and mugs of hot chocolate that Ellie insisted on making you both, you find you don’t notice it much. As with meals she likes to pepper you with questions.
"What was the last book you were reading back before everything happened?" 
"Mmm that's a good question," you tell her, squinting as you try to recall. "I think it was the latest Harry Potter." 
"Who's Harry Porter?" Ellie asks, her tongue sticking to the side as she focuses on smoothing a particularly stubborn piece of paper.
"Potter," you gently correct her. "It's about a boy wizard."
"Like Gandalf? I already read about him. Joel has those books."
This takes you aback for a moment. In your mind Joel doesn't read. You kind of just assumed that when he's not on patrol or with the horses he's sleeping or cleaning his guns. The thought of him enjoying something the same as you makes him feel more human. 
"No, a young boy goes to wizarding school," you supply. It's a bit of an undersell of the book but Ellie is already rolling her eyes.
"A wizard going to school? That's fucking stupid."
"Couldn't agree more," you say scanning the books she's brought with her. "But they were all the rage."
When the first paper bouquet is finished Ellie announces that she wants to show you her room. She doesn’t give you much option but you smile at the earnestness anyway. You follow her to the door that opens up to the garage. You expect it to be chilly but obviously it’s been insulated well because it’s warmer than the house.
It’s also massive. A large, unmade bed rests by a window on the far side. The walls are lined with mismatched desks and a rolling chair. A couch with a yellow gingham blanket is on the other side, a coffee table made out of crates holds several magazines.
An easel rests nearby, an apron hung upon it. Ellie is quite the artist you’ve come to learn. On the wall you spot a poster of an astronaut and you smile faintly to yourself. You remember your own childhood ambitions of space travel.
Aside from the unmade bed the space is rather meticulous for a teenage girl. You wonder if it’s her upbringing back in her youth or because Joel is a strict caregiver. You still don’t know how long he’s been in her life.  Ellie watches you survey her space with a grin. You think she must feel how you did when you first moved into your space; safe and proud.
You see the sketchbooks piled on one of the desks as you wander over to it.
“You draw?”
“Sometimes,” she says, opening the book and placing it on the table. She flips through a few pages before stopping on a graphite drawing of what appears to be a strange-looking horse.
“I tried drawing Glimmer but I keep fucking up her eyes,” she explains with a pout.
“I think it looks good,” you answer honestly. Ellie glances up at you, shy from the praise before giving a crooked grin. She calls you over to her bookshelf and asks you to look through the titles.
“You read any of these before?”
You crouch down to see all of the titles near the bottom; many are familiar pulpy novels you’d find in an airport. One catches your attention and you tug it from its confines, standing and holding it.
“I remember reading this to my sister,” you murmur, eyes misty. Ellie brushes the hair from her face as she invites you to takes a seat next to her on the couch. The two of you look at the book together, both cross legged, knees touching.  
 “The Giver,” Ellie reads.
“It’s a good one,” you tell her. “It’s about a boy with a job he doesn’t want but was born for. He kinda discovers what good and evil is and if you can have one without the other. I’m doing a shitty job of summarizing it, but it’s a really good book from what I remember.”
“Sounds good,” Ellie murmurs. She tilts her head to read the first page and at this distance you notice the kinks and knots at the back of her ponytail. 
"When's the last time you brushed your hair?" You chide gently. Ellie ducks her head and shrugs. 
“Dunno.”
You swivel in spot on the couch, facing the other end and pat the blanket in front of you in invitation.
"Grab a brush. You read, I'll de-tangle," you offer. She pauses, thinking about your offer before she rushes to the bathroom, returning moments later with a harried looking comb. You raise a brow at this and she laughs.
“S’all I’ve got.”
She clamors up, facing away from you with the book in her lap. She begins reading, tripping over the odd word. 
"Instantly, obediently, Jonas had dropped his bike on its side on the path behind his family’s dwelling. He had run indoors and stayed there, alone."
Her voice is steady and she plays with the edge of the pages as she reads. 
"Lily looked up, her eyes wide. “The Ceremony of Twelve,” she whispered in an awed voice. Even the smallest children Lily’s age and younger -knew that it lay in the future for each of them."
You find the sensation of being read to and brushing the girls knotted hair to be strangely soothing. 
"Your hair is such a beautiful color" you say before she begins on the next chapter, seeing the way the colors shine in the sunlight. 
Ellie doesn't answer and you wonder if she's embarrassed by the compliment. Teenagers are never known for loving extra unwanted attention. 
Brushing the dark strands of Ellie's you’re struck by how tense the girl is, like a trapped animal. Her shoulders are practically up to her ears. As if she isn't familiar with the sensation of a kindly touch. 
"Did your mom never do this for you?"
Even though she's facing away you can see the way Ellie's head tips forward, her eyes downcast. 
"Never had a mom." 
Your eyes shut momentarily as you chastise your own thoughtless stupidity. You don’t attempt to further this topic. For now you're content just to brush the girl's hair, smiling as Ellie relaxes with every stroke. 
“I wonder if Sarah ever read this,” she mutters to herself as she begins the next chapter. You smooth a section of her hair, taking in the name.  
"Who's Sarah?"
"Joel’s daughter," Ellie confides, her eyes on the paper in front of her. "She died on outbreak day."
You surmise that Ellie's so invested in the book that she doesn't even realize what she's saying or to whom.
You remember Maria telling you something of that during your visit with her. It makes your heart clench, thinking of the loss. Before you can stop yourself you’re probing for more information.
“How old was she?”
“Not old. Younger than me I think.”
A child.
You can’t imagine the pain that would create in someone. In all your experiences with Joel it was easy to forget that he had a past. Something that twisted him into the person that he is today.  Even after Maria told you he’d lost a daughter you’d overlooked it, content on hating him for his changeable moods as if he had no motivation.
But you’ve lost as well, a voice reminds you. And you haven’t resorted to cruelty.
“Maria mentioned a soldier,” you pause, trying to work the comb through a particularly tricky knot.  Ellie is quiet for a few moments as she reads the page she’s on, speaking only when she flips it over.
"Yeah, Joel was carrying Sarah. I think she broke her ankle or something. He was escaping a clicker. Soldier shot it, so Joel thought they were safe but they thought Sarah and him were infected because there were covered in blood." 
Your stomach drops as you imagine a younger Joel carrying his daughter tightly in his arms, both terrified with her clinging to him. You’re quiet, not wanting to ask anymore. Already it feels like you’ve overstepped, learned too much about him.
"Joel told the soldier they were okay, not infected. But the soldier shot anyway. Clipped Joel, got Sarah bad."
You feel a wave of nausea hitting you. The thought of losing a child that way makes you physically ill. Your loss hurts so acutely even now, you can't imagine that kind of pain compounded by losing a piece you brought into existence. 
“Joel told you all of this?”
“Nah, Maria did,” Ellie replies. “Joel talks with me a little bit about Sarah. Stuff she liked, TV shows and books and stuff. But not about how she died.”
It’s wrong of you to have pushed for more information. Especially since you and Joel are the furthest thing from friends.
"He blames himself for it," Ellie continues, fingers sliding between the pages of the book to turn to the next chapter. "Even though it was a soldier who shot at them. How can Joel blame himself for that?"
She approaches this topic almost naive. You've stopped brushing altogether; you can only stare down at the back of Ellie’s head blinking slowly.  
"He seems like the kind of guy who's built to protect people," you offer gently. 
"But he was unarmed. How's any of what happened his fault?"
"I don't know," you offer quietly. "Maybe he-"
"What the fuck are you two talkin' about?"
Neither of you heard Joel come in the garage, but he obviously heard enough of your conversation because he looks completely furious. He's a tall man with broad shoulders and the sight of him wild-eyed and fists curled makes you physically startle. 
"Joel-" Ellie starts her face blanching. 
"I said what are you two talkin' about?" His voice is icy, and takes you both by surprise
"Uh…We..." The open ire on his face makes you stumble over your words. You feel embarrassed at having been caught talking about him, you feel terrified at the vitriol in his eyes. 
Your stunned reaction is all the confirmation he needs. 
"Get out," Joel mumbles, his dark eyes sailing from you to Ellie. "And you? We need to talk." 
Ellie is never afraid of Joel, not that you've seen. But when you look to her now you see her wince at the knowledge that she's overstepped.  
Something in you forgets your own fear and you raise a hand in his direction, as if he's a wild animal you're attempting to tame. 
"Joel, it's-" you try to interject, to hold back the fury that's crackling through the room. But instead he turns his cold gaze to you, his sharp jaw ticking. 
"Get the fuck out now."
And you know that you have to leave. This isn't your place. Ellie isn't your daughter, Joel isn't your husband. This is basically a stranger's home. 
"I'm sorry."
You shoot Ellie a sympathetic look but she's just staring at with rounded eyes. You can't help but stop at her side, your voice a soft murmur. "He won't hurt you will he?"
Ellie's eyes snap to yours with a mixture of shock and horror. 
"Joel would never hurt me," Ellie explains before Joel has time to react to your question. "He's about the only one who never has."
The emphatic nature of her reply surprises you into taking a step backwards. A quick look over your shoulder at Joel tells you that his anger is dwindling at her words. You nod once more in Ellie's direction and then you slip by Joel to exit. 
You’re just turning off Rancher Street when the tears begin to slip down your cheeks. They drip onto the collar of your jacket and they don’t stop until you close the door to your home behind you.
--------------------------
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