#with this future parts coming up i imagine more questions will repeat lol

[sugar-omi]

bro that teen pregnancy shit fucked me upppp 😭 I fr am in tears and rolling around my bed lol

my brain went on a tangent halfway thru the moms section I was like damn okay what if mc and cove just ran away huh then what

AND THEN I remembered they’ve already ran away before which is part of why mom is so worried about cove’s influence and hellooooo???? full circle moment 🫢 made myself gasp fr

ya u make me think so many thoughts on this one good lordddd

-🗑️

LOL AWW I DIDN'T THINK EVERYONE WOULD GET SO EMOTIONAL </3 AND LMAOOO I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT ABT RUNNING AWAY AGAIN, PLEASE IS THIS GONNA BE A TRADITION LOL anyway, well good morning!!!! here's more angst n food for thought🤭🤭

tags : Angst / Hurt/Comfort, headcanons, fem/afab reader, pregnancy

[part 1: "everyone finding out cove and MC got engaged because they're pregnant"]

his whole world stops. his ears feel like they've been stuffed with cotton and his world is spinning outta control.

now lets assume the rubber broke, just for, simplicity n lore sake.

it's not that he wasn't already worried about this happening, he had been worrying about this for weeks since you realized what happened.

but even then, he already had the fear of god in him about this happening. both because his mom and dad were on him about safe sex, but also because he has a lot of feelings about being an accident n child to teen parents... and he really didn't want to recreate that situation or put feelings like that onto another life, another human with complex emotions and many many thoughts. a human and life he's responsible for.

it shocks him so much, because he's very worried about repeating of his childhood on his child, and his kid feeling the same way he did/does.

he already knows that either way, the babe will probably have mixed feelings on being a accident, and essentially being a bump in road of his young parents lives

but it's also everything he had been worrying about, finally coming to fruition.

even though he's very, very stressed and scared for your futures, he's long since decided to make it work. he really wants to make it work. he wants to do the best by you, and the babe. and he wants to give his kid what he didn't have.

but anyway...

you're very worried about dropping the news on him

and i bought you aren't surprised at how pale cove gets when you drop the news...

and if he's not sitting down already, he is now. (he might just faint, like forreal this time too from the looks of it...)

he's very emotional, and super nervous, but what scares you is that he's very quiet...

when he does speak though, his first question is "what're.. what are you gonna do?"

because before he gets too emotional, he wants to know what you want first. you're carrying the baby and you're the one who'd go through all the changes, and you're the one who has the most intense feelings and being pregnant makes your emotions n hormones even crazier and more intensified.

all that plus how young you two are? and all the plans you two had? yeah, it's a lot, and regardless of how he feels, he wants to do whatever you want and he'd understand if you decide not to keep it.

but if you say right then and there, you wanna keep it, cove says he'll take care of you, and the babe, comforts you and hugs you. then he says wants to get married..

or if you say you dont know... cove says you two will work through these emotions, and that no matter what, he'll take care of you, and the baby if you want it.

when you do eventually say you want to keep it, even if you say this a couple minutes after, or a few days after, cove comforts you again and promises you'll work through this, and that it'll be okay.

then he brings up getting married...

of course it's more emotional, and maybe even a bit romantic!

so imagine this, you're sitting on your bed, and you and cove are hugging each other, you're wrapped up in his arms and it's a great comfort.

you're both really emotional, and calming down after crying and having a moment.

cove pulls away, takes your hands in his and even with glassy, red eyes he has a determined expression. goes on about how much he loves you, and how much he treasures you, and that he's going to do his best for you, and take care of everything.

his speech probably draws you back to tears, even brings him to tears but he keeps going because he needs to tell you all this!!

"y/n... i want to marry you, i want us to be a family.. i know i don't have a ring and this isn't very romantic but.. will you marry me?"

doesn't matter if you say yes right away or if you ask him if he's sure he wants to get married, he reassures you he's not just doing this because he thinks it is what you and/or your or his family would want.

he wants to marry you anyway, why wait?

now about telling your parents.

regardless of if you have cove there while you tell them, or you do it alone, lets say cove finds out what your mom said about him being a bad influence.

i also think your moms are a bit icy with cove too, so even if he has to force out all the details of your conversation, he already knows your moms aren't happy

but to know your mom thought, maybe even thinks so still especially with the news, that he was/is a bad influence on you.

it makes him sad. because what if she, or even both your parents, thinks that cove is dragging your life down with marriage and a baby?

well, like i said in the first post, this totally opens up a new can of insecurities and doubts, and he kinda spirals into his own mind.

he even starts thinking about what if you regret marrying him, and/or having his baby. what if you decide you hate being a parent, or being married, or being a family all together?

what if this holds you back so much that you start to resent him. god he's so afraid of you resenting him.

and your moms being short with him doesn't make him feel better because now he just had a thought, what if your family hates him so much that they start talking to you about how much of a mess this is, and then you realize how they're right, and decide to leave him, or even worse, leave him and the baby?

it's all very irrational thoughts, and when he wakes up (after maybe 3 hours sleep), he realizes it is a bit.. ridiculous. just a bit. he knows you wouldn't abandon him so easily, and you certainly wouldn't be swayed by your family

but he also wouldn't blame you if you had, or have (now or in the future), any resentments. he just really wants it to work.

i think this is also the time when he realizes exactly how much his parents divorce fucked him up.

he very determined for you two to make it work as a family. not co-parents.

he wants to see his kid every day, he wants to see you everyday, he wants to celebrate every milestone as a family and he definitely doesn't want to fight with you like his parents did. and even more so doesn't want to make your kid hear or see all of it.

he doesn't wanna fight, and then you or him walk out for hours or days. doesn't wanna sleep in separate rooms, doesn't wanna sleep by the crib to comfort himself with the presence of his darling baby, or because you two fought, like his dad used to.

doesn't wanna have to explain why mommy* and daddy are fighting, or why they don't sleep in the same room, or why they aren't talking to each other, or why they aren't living together anymore.

definitely doesn't want to explain what divorce is and what that means for them.

(*just saying mommy for simplicity sake)

but he also doesn't want to repeat what his dad did, and take on all the burden by himself.

it's hard to find a balance too, because he's torn between working his ass off to provide and prove that he can do it, that you aren't making a mistake... and accepting help, or letting himself relax sometimes.

but i think wanting to be there for you during the pregnancy, forces him to leave his days more open.

of course he still works more than usual, but he also makes sure to carve out time to see you, and be there to comfort you or bring you food, flowers, or go on a date.

remember i mentioned therapy in the last post?

please encourage him to start it. because this is a very big transition in your lives, and you both want the best for yourselves and the baby, so lets do the work before they get here, okay?

fighting with his dad

now he definitely appreciates his parents concern, and their support and words of wisdom, all that stuff...

but when his dad says something like "you don't want to end up like me and your mom." or "you shouldn't mess up your future." or even if he insistently tells cove, "think about your future! y/n's future!"

cove gets upset, just because does that mean his dad is projecting onto him, and telling him that they're fucking up just like he and mom did? or is he telling him that he's dragging your future and his into the mud?

either way, that's what makes him say something mean, just like i said in the last post:

cove would probably end up saying something (a bit) hurtful like "i would never end up like you and mom." , "i would never marry MC if i didn't know it'd work. unlike some people, i'm not gonna make my kid listen to us argue and then try to play happy family." , or "trust me, my kid won't end up with a childhood like mine." / "trust me, my marriage won't end up like yours."

he definitely hangs up the call or walks away from his dad immediately afterward, shaking with anger and anxiety. he's so stressed. and he's worked up.

after the argument, there's only 2 places cove could go at this moment. to you, or to work.

and if he's at work, he's distracted, but tries to focus on his job. he's still mad at his dad, and he already feels like crying. he really didn't need his dad to doubt him.

he gets it. he gets it, he really really does. but he feels so fragile, that he'd really appreciate a little faith.

now if he's with you, which he'd probably run to you after work anyway just so he doesn't have to face his dad yet. he's like a big baby

he's holding you, arms around your waist and his head on your stomach or lap, or you're laying on your side and he has his hand on your belly, as if he's waiting for the baby to reach for his hand through your tummy.

when he tells you what happened, and why he's so somber, please run your fingers through his hair and just listen to him for a bit... eventually he'll start rambling about all the things he's been holding onto, including his fears about you resenting him

it'll probably be a long talk, but once you reassure him that you wanna make it work too, and that you know cove will be a good dad (and vice versa), and that your moms don't hate him, they're just... upset. and worked up about the turn of events.

and you talk about his dad too, and the argument, you both realize it comes from a place of concern.

he doesn't wanna see you two try to be a family and fail. he doesn't want you to make mistakes he did while raising cove...

conclusion, it's a very fruitful conversation. and cove goes back home, teary eyed and a bit like a lost puppy, and that night he doesn't find his dad waiting for him (cliff tries to work as late as possible, both because he wanted to give cove some space, but also because he has a bad habit of avoiding situations... so when he does get home, he spends the night in his room)

of course they can't avoid each other forever, and the next day cove actually makes the effort to find his dad during his lunch break to apologize.

he said something really hurtful, that i don't think cove could live with if he didn't apologize.

his dad definitely laughs when cove mentions that you said that cove should try therapy, and even if you don't say that his dad should consider it too, cove does say to his dad that a family therapist sounds like a good idea.

#olba #our life: beginnings & always #cove holden x reader #cove holden #angst #hurt/comfort

[aloekat]

giving pokemon teams to d20 characters!

The Bad Kids / Fantasy High!

pt 1/?

part 1 || part 2

hello chat and welcome to aloe shoves their hyperfixation onto everything they enjoy! making pokemon teams for fictional characters has always been a fun past time for me that i enjoy greatly so i wanted to apply that to dimension 20! i plan on doing every season once i’ve watched it, starting with all the intrepid hero seasons before moving on to side quest seasons

(also i finally decided to post these after @jadelion made posts sharing their team picks, so go check those posts out as there are some great choices! i also wouldnt be inspired to finally post these without him doing so first! i made my list completely independent of hers so if there's the same pokemon its purely coincidental lol)

first i want to talk about some guidelines i’ve given myself for this, which will apply to future posts as well:

only 4 pokemon per team - this keeps things more easy and makes them feel closer to mid-game trainers rather than fully stacked end-game ones. or feel like gym leaders maybe? it also helps with rule 2…

try to have no repeat pokemon - this just keeps things unique between seasons but sometimes a pokemon is a perfect fit for more than one person but for the most part everyone gets unqiue pokemon and there are almost no doubles

low to no legendaries on teams unless for a good reason - same goes for shinies but im more lenient on the shiny rule lol

i made a lot of these these like 3 months ago as of posting this - some choices may be outdated or the character has changed enough that a choice may not fit as well but i didnt want to change it lol (this is solely for the fantasy high kids tbh)

thats all for the rules! finally it’s time to get into the teams!

! SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE CURRENT SEASON! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !

Kristen

Lycanroc - representing Tracker, again i made these before junior year so trackerbees was still a thing but i imagine it can count for cassandra also since it’s a night themed pokemon. don't know which form of lycanroc she would have though Solrock - she was given solrock during her time with Helio, and while i know sunflora exists i think solrock makes a little more sense, since she was a chosen of Helio she would be at an elevated status and therefor have a better pokemon if that makes sense? it also pairs with... Lunatone - representing her change to Cassandra, a goddess of night. there's like cool symbolism with her pokemon now wow isn't that so cool and awesome!! Unown ("?") - a question mark unown to represent Yes? (and the other Yes forms) along with her cool question mark staff! can also ALSO symbolize doubt with cassandra

Fig

Toxitricity (Low Key) - low key form gives the vibes of a bass and Fig plays the bass! toxitricity would help fig practice her instrument and come up with music. also literally called “the punk pokemon”

Obstagoon - similar reasoning, obstagoon has The Vibes that fit along with also being a sort of rock n roll pokemon

Moltres - representing Ayda, i imagine Ayda gifted it to her once they became girlfriends :)

Mimikyu - a pokemon known for its imitation of another pokemon, very much fits into Fig’s actor feat and her high deception and her not wanting to be her real self sometimes

Fabian

Dhelmise - big connection to his father and being a pirate, his father probably gifted it to him as his first pokemon

Marowak (Alolan) - fun idea i had for this is he originally just had a cubone with him during freshman year, but once he went to Fallinel and learned about the power of dance it evolved into an alolan marowak! it's a fire dance pokemon of course he would have it lol

Sirfetch'd - representing his mother and also his general fencing/fighter style that he works with

Tentacruel - just a cool ass water pokemon i feel he would have, also vaguely pirate-y with big kraken vibes

Riz

Pikachu - detective pikachu go brrrrr i imagine he would have gotten a pichu when very young, and it's evolved over time! it would wear a tiny detective hat as well because um i said so

Inteleon - super spy/gun pokemon also go brrrr, very much a reference to his father and just the general super spy-ness of Riz and Pok in junior year especially

Togekiss - ok this one feels very out of place and i forgot why it was here originally BUT i think it's to represent like a guardian angel sort of? again another reference to Pok because i love Pok and think he's very cool

Voltorb - he's the ball. this is a pokeball pokemon. are we starting to connect the dots

Adaine

Politoad - representing Boggy of course, nothing much else to say

Espeon - a very psychic pokemon representing her oracle powers, it would be fun to think that she had an eevee that simply evolved into an espeon once Adaine realized that she in fact was the elven oracle!

Delphox - another powerful psychic pokemon, again this is just vibes and it's a cool pokemon and adaine is a very cool character lol

Audino - these pokemon are known for being able to hear super well and know how their trainers are feeling from listening to their heartbeat. a gift given by Jawbone to help with Adaine's anxiety but still a good member of her team regardless

Gorgug

Archen - "i'm Cloaca, i suck!"

Gogoat - a grassy pokemon which can sorta represent the tree he lives in but also intended to represent Zelda in some ways (again i wrote these before junior year came out). it would help him carry around a lot of scraps for tinkering

Rotom - found in the village near the Nightmare King's forest, this rotom had gotten lost in the forest and, with no tech from solace nearby, couldn't find a way home. gorgug rescued it and lets it inhabit the Hangvan a lot

Rillaboom - another grassy pokemon but this one is also a drummer! can we take a wild guess as to why i picked this one. for it's drumming ability. because. because gorgug is a drummer.

=====

whew ok that's the first season done! i'll probably do unsleeping city next, which will be linked to this post once it's done!

have a better option that would fit a PC better? please tell me i would love to hear everyone's takes on this!

ok that's it that's the post everyone go home now (once again go look at @jadelion for their pokemon team picks!)

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #d20 fh #d20 fhsy #d20 fhjy #d20 fhfy #d20 #fhjy #fantasy high junior year #riz gukgak #kristen applebees #fig faeth #fabian seacaster #gorgug thistlespring #adaine abernant #pokemon #pokemon team #aloe.txt #one of my biggest text posts i'm pretty proud of this one!

[stargazeraldroth]

oh, gimme aaallllll the stargazeraldroth deets on how you think time traveling!dream and blue from a false fgod future would go >:3c however you think things should go or want them to go, go for it! though i will award bonus point for genuinely-an-asshole!error and dream and blue being very clingy and guilty once they realize error was a big ol’ liar. what can i say, i love me some clingy stars, especially when it means ink gets well deserved hugs.

Hm, I do like bonus points... I can do Error's character as a genuine asshole. I admit I have a preference to lean toward reconciliation just because I'm such a big Errorink shipper, but I can cope with it.

If we're going with a more villainous Error who is genuinely an asshole, then let's make him more manipulative and deceptive as well. He still has his ego, which is part of why he's so sure of his scheme (and, given the original fate everyone has, he's right about that), but it is possible that he can get so sure of himself that he underestimates people, which can be used to Dream and Blue's advantage.

Anyway, moving on to the potential storyline, Dream and Blue- our time-rewind duo- need to figure out what the hell happened and how they can prevent it from repeating. And, eventually, they'll have to navigate Error's lies and try to persuade the others that he's lying. Error's pulling out the crocodile tears and deceiving everyone with his sob story of being forced to destroy, but it's all bs he's using to manipulate them into being his pawns. Depending on how you want Nightmare to be characterized, he could also be deceived by Error, or he can see right through his bs and thinks everyone else is gullible as shit. And... I mean, he's not wrong.

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, how would Error even convince them that he's being forced to destroy? How does a true FGOD Error convince people of that? What would qualify as proof? This is a genuine question. What's the proof? Word of mouth isn't really proof.

I like to think that Ink can see through Error's deception, as he's been around Error for much longer, and knows that he's spewing pure bullshit about being forced to destroy. Yeah, no. He's tried to get Error to stop and he told him how fun it was and that they don't deserve to exist... right, he's soooo forced into that position. But maybe some of Ink's own attitude contributed to everyone turning against him, like if he doesn't take it seriously or acts dismissive of Error's pleading. And while this could initially make Dream and Blue not trust him entirely, they come to the realization that Ink just knew how fake Error was being the entire time. He probably just didn't expect to be more aware than everyone else.

I can imagine this giant confrontation where Dream and Blue call Error out on all of his bullshit, much to Error's frustration. His entire plan is falling apart! His plan was perfect! How the hell did they figure it out!? This can be where the two falter, unsure of whether or not to tell the truth or come up with a lie on the spot. As for convincing the others about the truth, maybe it starts slowly, with convincing CORE first of all.

There's just so much that can be done with this idea lol.

#anonymous asks #utmv au #false fgod au #dream sans #blue sans #swap sans #error sans #ink sans

[natura-est-sacellum]

oh well prolife is being against murder of any kind and the death penalty it's killing people like abortions do, so i'm just confused why you call yourself prolife when you're all for the death penalty :/

I don't know if you are pro-life, or just an abortionist who is trying to catch me in a gotcha. So I will try to explain my stance on this.

A child in the womb, innocent and without guilt or shame yet, is completely different from, say, a serial killer. Or a serial rapist. Or a child rapist.

I find it funny that people try to justify abortion by using all kinds of excuses: they're just a clump of cells, they can't take care of themselves, and of course, my personal fave, they're not human. But then, these same people will turn around, look at a pedophile who raped 30 kids, or hell, even 3 kids. But they'll look on this blight upon mankind and say "oh, mercy, spare him!"

Like, no. Sorry. You don't get to claim humans have no inherent value upon conception, then turn around and say "this person who did bad things shouldn't be killed, because they're only human!"

And please note, I wouldn't be pulling out the death penalty for anything less than the crimes stated above: serial killings, serial rape, and child rape/molestation.

The other way I think about it too, is that a lot of the rougher crimes out there will send a perp to prison for the majority of their life, if not for the rest of their lives. Why waste taxpayer dollars feeding the scum of the earth, when we could just put a cap in them and send that money to feeding starving children in our country? Or trying to help the drug addicted homeless turn their lives around? Or help wayward youth whi are statistically more likely to end up in jail for offensive crimes?

Like, we worry so much about saving people who statistically are not able to be saved. Serial killers? Cannot be reformed, once they'vestarted killing. Pedophiles? Cannot be reformed, once they start diddling. The only thing I'm admittedly unsure of is serial rapists, but you gotta be a little fucked in the head to rape multiple people, right?

Now, the only reason I suggest such a drastic protocol, aside from being a strain on the taxpayer's dime, is because their actions have deeply and negatively impacted the lives of innocents. Imagine if that pedophile I mentioned earlier had indeed managed to assault 30 kids, and somehow, by some twist of fate, did not end up serving a life sentence (probably because Ketanji Brown Jackson was in charge of sentencing him)...do you think said pedo would come out of prison a changed man? Do you think he would take that finger wagging from the state and start over fresh?

Statistically, no. He would not. Even if he sought counseling and tried very hard to do better and keep away from his evil thoughts and not act on them...he will, eventually. They are more likely to become repeat offenders. And then, when he's back out on the streets, how many more children have to suffer at hid hands before he finally gets life sentence or the chair? Honest question. Because for me, one child is one too many.

This is not something that I can be swayed on. I don't care if you claim that somehow makes me "pro choice" because it doesn't. It does not change the fact that I still believe that we have inherent worth. A baby may one day become a pedophile or serial killer. That's no reason to butcher a child in the womb, or crush their skull and suck their brains out, or scald them in saline. No reason. We can't see the future and foretell if a baby in the womb is going to carry out evil deeds. And even if we could, that's like total recall shit; punishing people for doing things they haven't even done yet. Ridiculous.

Here is my parting take: we have inherent worth as living beings. I view all life inherently sacred (except spiders, they can fuck right off, lol...jk, they eat flies). But when you kill multiple people, when you rape multiple people, when you assault children, you have effectively...surrendered your humanity.

[the-darklings]

—𝗖𝗢𝗔 𝗙𝗔𝗤;

Hello, everyone! So with COA being such a long-running series and new readers finding it constantly, I have come to realise that a lot of questions I get often repeat. So to keep everything easy and clear and friendly for everyone regardless of whether you started COA at the very beginning of the story or just recently found it, I have spent the day relaxing, eating junk food, and compiling this FAQ. Please read through it because chances are the answers are here somewhere. I have sectioned the guide into following: general, story, ships, original squad (OCs), AUS, OC!V and tips/advice. If the answer to your question is not here, please feel free to send me a message and have a wonderful day! <33 - kat.

GENERAL:

when does this story update?

I try to keep a bi-weekly schedule (now usually Sunday updates). But I always let you know when the chapter is done by making a final word count post (pre edits). 

do you have a masterlist?

yes, you can find it here.

do you have a tag list?

not for COA. they’re very time consuming and I’m already really busy sorry :(

are your requests open?

I rarely open my inbox for requests. the only exception being the monthly blurb nights. then I reblog a prompt list and let people send some requests in for any fandom/ship. however, usually due to how many I get, it only happens every few months. that being said, you can still send me ideas/suggestions and if it inspires me, I will write it. that’s how the majority of the AUs have come about. but i’m also a very busy person so sorry if I can’t. 

can I make X or Y for COA and tag you?

yes. yes. yes. please, please, feel free to create whatever for COA (no matter how small or silly) because I consider it a great honour that I’ve been able to inspire someone else. whatever it is, please tag me. I wanna see.

okay, I made a thing and tagged you but you didn’t respond :(

Tumblr is notorious for eating my notifs. whatever it is (art/post/etc) if I don’t respond to it in a day or two, please give me a nudge. you’re not being annoying, I promise. chances are I missed it/tumblr ate it. 

I wanna scream/discuss/theorise about COA with others, is there any way for me to do that?

my amazing readers have set up this reddit page that is full of lovely people, theories, and memes etc. I check it often and interact on there, too, so feel free to drop by.

STORY:

how many chapters will COA be?

25. the last one being a very long epilogue.

have you decided on the ending yet?

yes. from as early as part 2. it's barely changed since. 

will we ever see more of Prague/Naples? hoe, please say yes.

yes. I plan to write both as COA bonus stories after the main story-line concludes.

will there be a sequel? 

depends. on two things: 1) if anyone will even care by that point 2) time. this story has consumed 5 months of my life entirely. i’ve been incredibly strict with myself when it comes to writing it (in a good way) but at best it won’t be finished till the end of august/beginning of september. so likely even if I do, there will be a break for a few months at least. I do have ideas though.

you promised us smut. where is it?

patience is a virtue. ;)

happy ending or tragedy? (please don’t say tragedy, you monster)

I would describe it more as “bittersweet” but whether it leans more towards bitter or sweet you’ll have to see.   

SHIPS:

any endgame hints?

you know more about the ending than you probably realise

can v/s finally go to Paris? for the love of GOD? pLEASE?

no

hector + v? powerful. will there be more of them in the future? 

agreed & yes. hector and v have their own arc to go on. it’s actually one of my favourites in this story. I don’t want to say more than that right now because I have plans for their dynamic so no spoilers. :)

please stop bullying john. give us some j/v content please? 

i, for one, adore john. it’s team S that’s bullying him lol. but wait till parabellum. i’ve always referred to that portion of the story as the second coming of j/v.

does lucien actually have a thing for v or is it a creepy obsession? 

it’s both.

I ship v with everyone :/ is that bad?

the sky is the limit. ship all the things proudly (but seriously, no, it isn’t. I ship all the ships, too, and that’s the fun of it) 

v/elder tho? 👀

🔫🤡

j/v or s/v? be honest.

you fool,,,, you buffoon. ot3 j/v/s is where it’s really at. imagine their POWER.   

ORIGINAL SQUAD:

what do the Elites/Lovers look like/how old are they?

please refer to this

will there be more step??

of course. he’s my baby. :)

will we see more of camorra/learn more about the elite’s and their backstories?

while I would love to take the time and flesh them all out with full backstories, only hector will be getting his backstory explored in the main canon because plot.

does lucien care for mika anymore or has he replaced her with v?

lucien is a messy hoe. mika is his subject of “affection” but v is his foil and equal. he recognises the same hurt in her that he has gone through himself so it’s more of a fixation. with time, lucien would likely destroy v so no bueno. 

I ship our OCs.

I do, too.

can we write about your OCs/V?

so you would have to come to me and discuss this more in private but I’m fine with this sort of thing usually. in fact, a prequel hector story already exists so you’re likely good but please contact me first. 

AUs:

when/how often do you update the vampire!au?

whenever I have time/inspo. mainly time. so this means you can get it daily or not get it for several weeks because COA is priority. I keep you all updated on when I have something cooking tho.

what is the actual pairing for vamp!au?

undecided as of yet. i’m leaning more towards ot3 right now but we shall see.

how often do you update flowing in me?

same as the above. whenever I have the time but I will keep you updated.

how many parts will flowing in me be?

I have 5 parts(ish) planned.

do you have a tag list for flowing in me?

I will. please leave a comment on the story if you want to be tagged in future parts!

will flowing in me feature other characters (john, winston etc.)?

this story is mainly camorra-centric but I do plan for John to appear at some point.

how did you come up with your lore in vamp!au?

to be completely honest....I just wrote a bunch of stuff down and used what stuck. mostly the ideas were pulled out of thin air while still trying to keep within the spirit of the canon material (the high priest, the holy church, the twelve priests, john being the boogeyman etc). camorra as the natural enemy seemed fitting and santino as a vampire prince even more so.

can we send you new au ideas/expand on old ones (manager!V etc)?

yes, always. I always try my hardest to reply but ofc I can’t promise I’ll be able to use them all but thank you in advance.

OC!V:

who is the face claim for OC!V?

weronika spyrka

what is her real name?

clara

how old is she at the beginning of the story and now?

23 beginning of chapter 1, 30 beginning of chapter 4 (current timeline)

will/would you ever write an original story about her?

I have considered creating something original out of COA itself or one of its sister series/concepts (like FIM). since I really started working on COA during last year’s NaNo, that might be the time I create something original this year. 

TIPS & ADVICE:

how do you write so much, so quickly?

I don’t think that word count is really reflective of the quality work itself. I don’t think you should worry how much you write, either. 100 words can be just as valuable as 1k. most of them time I have a deadline breathing down my neck and I do work well under pressure so that inspires me to force the chapters out. I also do very long days because despite what it might look like I’m not a fast writer.

how can I improve my writing?

read and practice. I know it’s dumb and overused advice but it’s how I learned english and found my style (still a mess and WIP) but still this advice does help. 

how do you keep motivated?

spite, your support, genuine adoration for these characters/word, a lot of spite. 

do you plan? outline?

I have a vague story outline with specific scenes in mind as I go along (helps to set up foreshadowing, twists, and those ‘full circle’ moments). I also plan each chapter scene by scene and know what each chapter is meant to accomplish. So yeah in a sense. 

#i will add more in the future if it comes to mind #with this future parts coming up i imagine more questions will repeat lol #faq post #fic: children of ares

[hyunjinspark]

star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 2

synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him.

there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you.

hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned.

series: star lost with you

pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader

genre: friends to lovers, angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden (?) romance

word count: 10K

warnings: cursing, angst, jealousy (kind of), so much dialogue, mature content and language, yn has a lot of questions lol

a/n: thank you for the amazing response for part 1! this is a much more conversation focused chapter, but i hope you still enjoy it. please tell me your thoughts after ! also, i imagine hyunjin in his hair and fit from ‘venom’ for this part :) thank you @ortali for this beautiful gif <3

masterlist

Hana’s hand fit perfectly into his.

The golden charm bracelet you’d bought together in middle school adorned her wrist, and it had never looked as pretty as it did now, linked with his hand. 

Every charm that hung off her bracelet had a memory attached to it; a little heart to signify the day of her first kiss, a bow and arrow from the time she was absolutely obsessed with The Hunger Games series, a rubber duck from the time you taught her to swim, and then… there was room for more, for all of the future memories you were going to create.

Yours was similar to hers, but far emptier, because your first kiss hadn’t been good enough to mark as a special memory, because you’d never really been obsessed with pop culture the way she had, and because the only thing you’d ever been in love with was art.

Unfortunately for you, art was far too abstract a concept to find in bracelet charms. The only thing you’d found at a local flea market, was a silver circle with the letters ‘create’ engraved into it, and that had been far too cheesy and obnoxious to attach to your person at all times.

You willed yourself to focus on that, instead of the funny feeling in your stomach.

“What?” 

That’s what you had said in response to the news of your best friend and her date. 

It wasn’t your proudest moment, and if Hyunjin hadn’t thought you were stupid before for the way you’d spilled soda all over yourself, he surely would think that now.

“My date!” Hana repeated, lifting their interlocked hands up to show you, as if that wasn’t the only thing you were looking at right now, “Say hi”

Why would you think he was your date? 

Embarrassment rushed through you, and you felt far too hot standing here. Your cheeks were definitely heated up, and you nodded, praying they couldn’t see the flush under the pink lighting. Since when had you started jumping to conclusions like so? Thankfully, you had the grace to not slip up or say something about the fact that you’d just assumed he was going to be your date for the night. 

He was Hana’s date. Of course. That’s why she had been so excited about this, and nervous. If it had just been somebody else from town, she wouldn’t have felt the need to make a big double date out of it.

He was exactly her type.

“Oh. Hi” Your voice unmistakably wavered, the squeak in it catching you off guard. 

Hyunjin smiled at you, unaware of the effect his presence had.

Your stomach turned as you watched him, and you quickly downed a sip of the soda cup in your hand. You realised immediately that it was a bad idea because it was definitely watered down, and left a bad taste in your mouth, which made you want to throw up.

You shouldn’t have come on the double date. You were clearly sick. 

You don’t even remember the last time you’d felt like this, as if something was wrong, but nothing was wrong.

It was the nervousness, and the anticipation.

You weren’t the kind of person who would ever go on blind dates, and that was a good enough reason for your stomach to be in knots right now. Maybe it also had something to do with the fact that you’d been wondering who Hyunjin was for all these years, ever since you saw him that summer, and now he was finally in front of you. How were you even supposed to act, without coming off as some sort of creep? 

Hana was smiling widely, and her eagerness calmed you. 

She was excited for this, and you wouldn’t ruin it for her. 

After all, this is what you had been talking about all this time, hadn’t you? For Hana to move on, and to find someone who could make her forget about the heartbreak Yeonjun had caused her.

You didn’t really know anything about Hyunjin yet, but something told you he was just that kind of boy, the one that made you forget everything else that could exist in the world.

“Y/N?” She asked.

Your gaze snapped to hers, eyes falling to the silver hoops in her ears that you’d gifted her for her last birthday “Yeah?”

Her eyes were wide, as if she was telepathically trying to ask you what was wrong, “Is that all?”

“What?”

“I mean, aren’t you gonna say hi to him?”

Your eyes fell on his, “Um, I just did”

She giggled, with a undertone of nervousness “Forgive me Hyunjin, she’s usually friendlier”

He glanced down at her, “Don’t worry about it, Hana”

God, what were you doing? This was your best friend’s date. You had to be nice to him, and talk like a normal person.

“It’s nice to meet you, Hyunjin” You spoke.

He smiled at you, a smile far too sweet for someone who looked like he did, “Likewise, Y/N. It’s nice to see you here too”

“Wait, do you two know each other?” Hana asked suddenly, stepping back. You gripped the soda cup tighter, unsure why you were still holding it as it dripped with sticky liquid.

“No” You said. 

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, just slightly, as if he was surprised by your response, and Hana turned to him.

“Oh.... you just spoke like you were already familiar with each other” She hummed.

“We don’t” You waved it off, nonchalant “He just dropped by the store earlier. That’s all”

You didn’t know him, not really. Did it count as ‘knowing’ someone if you saw them years ago, and then somehow never forget about the encounter, and then met them again as your best friend’s surprise blind date?

Definitely not.

It was just a weird, freakish coincidence.

Hyunjin nodded along at your response, not protesting. Hana didn’t seem fazed, probably because she was indulging in the warmth of the cute boy’s hand instead of your strange behaviour.

“So…” You squeezed the cup “Isn’t there someone else coming?”

It would be funny if you got stood up by your blind date.

Hana immediately pulled her phone out to check, “He should be right here, don’t worry. He just texted me that he’s outside”

Who was he?

You hummed in response, lifting the cup to your mouth again. You didn’t want this soda, but drinking it would at least give you something to do instead of stare at the couple in front of you. Busying yourself was infinitely better than being awkward, so you tipped your head back, drinking the leftover drink.

You resisted the urge to gag at the terrible taste as it made its way down your throat.

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows at you.

“What?” 

“Is that good?” He asked.

“Yeah” You lied, drinking some more to cover up your awkwardness. 

He nodded, the corners of his lips curling up, as if he knew you were lying. Except he didn’t know you. You’d barely even talked to each other. 

Hyunjin’s eyes were focused on you as you sipped the soda, and you felt far too conscious.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other” You ended up saying, to take the heat off yourself. Fuck. It sounded so accusatory, but you were curious. 

Hana had never mentioned knowing this boy. Did he just materialise out of thin air, like he had all those years ago at Aera’s?

Hana brightened up, as if she was waiting to be asked that question, “I bumped into him at the supermarket, right before San’s party! I was there to pick up a carton of beer, because I thought San would like it and he would kill me if I showed up late and empty handed…and then I saw Hyunjin. I know! What are the odds?”

“Huh, wait, so, that’s how you know each other? From the supermarket?” You asked, question directed at Hana, because how did she miss telling you this? It was extremely unlike your best friend to meet a handsome stranger, and not spill the details to you. Especially when all she had wanted was to meet the love of her life that night.

“Trust me, I was just as surprised” Hyunjin spoke, chuckling, “I’ve never met anybody who’s so…forward”

You hadn’t expected him to answer. In fact, you found it better to ignore that he was here. His presence made you…anxious.

You kept your eyes trained on Hana’s, despite him addressing you, and maybe that was rude of you, but you were sure you’d say something dumb if you looked right at him and that stupidly intimidating face of his.

“I’m sure you are, but that’s Hana for you. She’s very spur-of-the-moment romantic” You quipped, chewing the rim of the cup.

They seemed perfect, hand-in-hand, eyes sparkling. She looked absolutely adorable today, hair pulled up into two messy space buns, and a white top with lacing on the hem. 

She looked just as cute as she had on San’s party. Even though you hadn’t been there, you’d seen all of the pictures. If you were Hyunjin, you would have also said yes to a random date in the grocery store, if the girl asking you looked like her.

Hana had a perfectly enchanting look to her, full cheeks, big eyes, curled hair, and she wasn’t too different from a princess in shows you used to watch growing up. It was one of the things that had attracted you to her, when you had met her as a little kid. You’d seen her across the classroom, in her puffy pink dress, and red cheeks, and known that you were going to love, and adore her.

She was smiling up at Hyunjin, as she pointed out all the games in the arcade that she’d loved as a kid. They were engrossed in conversation, and your soda tasted terrible, so you put it aside. This was a double date, so where was the boy Hana set you up?

The excitement you’d felt for those few seconds when you saw Hyunjin here, had now dissipated into apprehension. You’d been curious about him for so long, and there was so much you wanted to ask him. 

Firstly, who the hell was he?

If he lived in town, why hadn’t you seen him for all these years? Even if he was homeschooled, there’s no way he could have kept himself hidden for the past few years or so. And if he didn’t live in town, why had he shown up to Aera’s, of all places, the day it opened? 

Nobody else had, except him, and you obviously.

Where had he been for all these years, and more importantly, why was his hair the color of the sun? 

Felix was the only boy you knew who willingly chose to dye his hair such an unnatural color and it had pretty much fried his hair by now. Maybe it was a stupid thought to have, but you wanted to know why Hyunjin made such a bold choice. You feel like even such a simple answer as that, would tell you more about what kind of person he was. 

Maybe it was because you’d always been curious about people, and what made them tick. Part of the reasons you loved volunteering at the art classes in The Château was because you met all kinds of people there, from all parts of the world, and most of them were always so easy to read.

As you watched Hana lean onto Hyunjin, their hands still interlocked, you realised you couldn’t ask him any of this. At least, not right now. It wasn’t appropriate. 

You would have to instead spend tonight talking to your own mysterious date, and your interest was fading by the second. It was so unlike you to be here, completely out of your comfort zone. You loved talking to people, especially getting to know all about them, but maybe tonight wasn’t your night, because you only felt dread, and nervousness.

The dress you’d fished out of your closet was surely a waste, and you wonder why you dressed up. You could’ve been at home, working on your unfinished projects.

Why did you have to say yes?

When Hana had called you last night, telling you how she’d found the perfect guy for you, you would be lying if you say that your heart didn’t skip a beat. Of course it did. Even if you weren’t actively looking for love, or to date anybody…her words had sparked butterflies in your stomach. You weren’t sure what you were expecting though.

Your date wasn’t here, clearly he didn’t care enough, and Hana was perfectly capable of having fun on her own. Her and Hyunjin seemed to be getting along well already, and you felt uncomfortable standing there.

“There he is!” She yelled, and you whizzed around, curious for who this boy was going to be.

Oh god.

You knew she had been up to something, as a clueless Kim Seungmin made his way to you. 

Seungmin was dressed well, but simple, like he always was, a cardigan slipped over his shirt, and when his eyes locked onto yours, he faltered in his tracks. 

You’d never met him outside of the art classes at Le Château. 

This was going to be awkward. He was practically your boss. 

Fuck.

“Shocker, Kim Seungmin is so freaking late!” Hana exclaimed, rushing over to him.

He nodded, wringing his hands together “I’m sorry Hana, I was just caught up with some work”

His eyes trailed off to you, as you awkwardly stood behind them, “Y/N…fancy seeing you here”

Well maybe Seungmin as your date would be better than a total stranger. At least you were comfortable with him. 

Why did he say yes to going on a date with you though? He’d never shown any kind of interest towards you, in more than a platonic way. 

He shot you another nervous glance, a gentle smile on his face. 

It sounded like a paradox, but if he was just as nervous as you were, that would somehow calm your nerves down exponentially. He didn’t even have anything to be nervous about. You two met up every week. The only difference was that you were dressed slightly fancier, not that Seungmin would ever have the grace to notice something as inconsequential as your outfit.

Regardless, it made you feel good that you made him nervous. Perhaps he was looking forward to tonight, and to this date.

You stepped up to him, a smile playing at your lips, “You as well, Seungmin. I didn’t know you’re into bowling”

He laughed, “I was promised a free game, and drinks”

“Ouch. My company wasn’t enough?” You joked.

“Respectfully Y/N. I didn’t know you were gonna be here”

Your heart dropped at the revelation. He didn’t even know he was going on a date with you? Your gaze darted to Hana. That was embarrassing. Was it so tough for her to find anyone interested in going on a date with you? 

You’d assumed that Hana’s reason for a ‘blind date’ was just something to trick you into coming, because if she told you who it was going to be, you would probably have said no.

You wonder if Seungmin would have showed up, if he knew you were his date…

Hyunjin stepped up to him, shaking his hand, in a gesture far too uncharacteristic of someone your age.

Seungmin nodded at him, “It’s nice to see you out of that room”

Hyunjin smiled, looking down at his shoes bashfully “Just thought it’d be nice to get out”

So they knew each other too? Of course they did. It was strange that everyone except you had had an encounter with the boy. 

You wonder if Yongbok knew him.

Your curiosity was bubbling up further by the second, but you restrained yourself from asking anything invasively stupid. You’re sure Hana wouldn’t appreciate you interrogating the first date she’s ever had.

“Guys, we should get a bowling lane for ourselves before those fucking kids hijack them for another round” Hana said, far too loudly, definitely drawing the attention of said kids, and parents. An older couple shot your group a dirty look, but paired with Hana and Hyunjin’s apologetic smiles, you had a feeling they wouldn’t hold a grudge for very long. It’s like they say, attractive people can get away with a lot more.

Hyunjin laughed, cheeks flushing, “Okay, Hana”

She turned to Seungmin, extending her hand forward, “Come with me to the counter please”

“Why me?” He crossed his arms.

Hana shrugged, smiling playfully “Why not you?”

He rolled his eyes, “Just say you want me to use my employee discount”

“You work here? I didn’t know that” You asked him. 

He smiled at you, “Used to. There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Y/N”

“Well, that’s what tonight is for! Getting to know how perfect you are for each other.” Hana interrupted, all subtlety forgotten.

Seungmin turned red at her words “All right, cupid, let’s get the tickets first. Y/N and Hyunjin, I assume I can trust you with the drinks?”

Wait… what? 

They were splitting up from you? 

They were going to leave you alone with Hyunjin?

You looked to him, for any visible signs of distress, but Hyunjin just smiled at them “Of course you can trust us”

“I can go with Seungmin” You blurted as they began walking away, ignoring Hyunjin’s gaze on you. Seungmin was your partner for the night after all. Shouldn’t you be spending time with him instead of your friend’s date ?

Hana turned around, rolling her eyes “How eager. You’ll get him to yourself all night, Y/N, don’t worry. I’m just stealing him away for a minute”

Seungmin nodded along, “Anyway it’s not like we’re leaving you alone. You have Hyunjin to keep you company”

Great.

»»————-

“What’s good here?” The boy in question nudged you.

You shifted away, peering up at the flashing signboard, even though the menu hadn’t changed since you were fifteen and you had it memorised by now. 

Hyunjin was looking expectantly at you.

You pushed your hands into your jacket pockets, “Coke”

He let out a chuckle, timid “Is that really all?”

The girl at the counter was staring at you. You weren’t sure if it was because you were taking so long to tell her your order, or because Hyunjin was standing next to you.

You wouldn’t be surprised if it was the latter. For somebody your age, he was dressed far too well.

The white button up shirt he had on would have been extremely formal in the context, but the leather jacket made him blend seamlessly into the dim atmosphere, and he looked so put together. The jacket had silver detailing all across the collar, sleeves and chest. It made you wonder how expensive that piece of clothing was, for it to have chains on it but still manage to not look tacky in the slightest.

The darkness of his outfit made you wonder once again why he always chose to dress this way, as if he was trying to subvert attention, although the purpose of that would definitely be defeated by his hair. It was so light in color. 

It was the kind of hair you’d only seen on television, or on Mattel Barbies. You wonder how many times he must have bleached it to get the color so light.

“Everything okay?”

“What?” 

Hyunjin blinked, an unreadable expression on his face “No, you were just…you were staring at me”

You flushed, turning your attention back to the menu. 

“The ice cream float is good too” You spoke, a lame attempt to ignore what he’d just asked you.

Hyunjin hummed, eyes darting over the display shelf, “Does Hana like that too?”

“Yeah. She gets it every time we come here” You smiled at the memory.

Hyunjin nodded, seemingly pleased with the response, and then turned to the girl at the counter, “Could I please get four floats?”

She smiled, entering it in, eyes darting up to Hyunjin every other second, “Anything else?”

He looked to you, “Do you want anything, Y/N?”

“Um, I’m fine”

He nodded, turning to the counter as he looked over the menu, his fingers tracing down all the listed items with so much focus. It was cute, like a kid in a candy store. 

“Could I get a plate of nachos?” He finally asked, having decided what he wanted.

“Of course” The girl beamed. She was profusely blushing, pink coating her cheeks as she hurriedly punched in the order. Hyunjin seemed oblivious to it, all smiles, as he reached into his pocket to hand her the money.

“Wait, I got it” You spoke, fingers curling around his wrist to stop him.

He turned to you, “It’s just a few drinks, Y/N”

“Yeah, but you’re the guest of honour and everything, so let me pay”

He let out a chuckle at your words, “Y/N. I honestly got it, don’t worry about it”

He shook your hand away, handing over the money and you frowned. The girl at the counter seemed happy that he had won this little scuffle because it possibly gave her more time with him, based on the bright smile on her face as she thanked him.

You crossed your arms, leaning against the counter as you looked around the place. The bridal party from before had now moved into a booth, divulging in the drinks and food Sunset Bowl had to offer. Hana and Seungmin stood by Lane 8, laughing over something as they looked at you. You shot them a small wave, and Hana jumped, gesturing you to hurry up.

Since when did Hana know Kim Seungmin so well? You’re sure she only set you up with him because you mentioned him at the diner the other day, she must have really thought you were hooking up with him. But you only knew him because you had taken up work at Le Château a while ago, which she wasn’t aware of. 

You weren’t sure how she’d react if she found out.

Like Felix, Hana had also always expressed concern for the way you apparently overworked yourself. She was a live-in-the-moment kind of person, and to explain to her why you were investing so much time and effort into this would be a futile task. She would never understand your need to keep yourself occupied, instead of just sitting around and waiting for summer to end.

You hope Seungmin didn’t mention that to her.

Now that you think of it, you wonder why Hana felt he was ‘made-in-a-factory perfect’ for you.

There was no question that Seungmin was great. He was gentle, and kind, and talented, and he was absolutely stunning. His presence always put you at ease, and he had a way to make you laugh no matter the context. 

He was easily one of the nicest boys you’d met, but you’d still never considered him as a potential romantic interest. 

To be honest, you’d never felt that way about anybody before.

You weren’t sure if it was fair of him to be paired up with you, since you had never thought of him like that. You didn’t want to lead someone on, or to hurt their feelings, especially someone as sweet as him. If things ended awkwardly tonight, it also would surely ruin your time at The Château.

Ugh. 

You were thinking too much. Perhaps you could just enjoy tonight, and let it be. Live in the moment, as Hana always did. You doubt she thought this much when she spotted Hyunjin at the supermarket, a complete stranger to her, and asked him out.

Seungmin was laughing in the distance, his doe eyes, and full smile making your heart warm. He was pretty much perfect, but something…was missing.

You wish you knew what.

Maybe the problem was you. You hadn’t even tried to explore your feelings towards him.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Y/N?”

You whipped your head to the voice.

Hyunjin was leaning against the counter, an unparalleled tenderness in his voice as he asked you that. His hand rest on the countertop, fingers tapping an unknown beat as you both waited for the food to arrive.

“Hmm?”

He glanced down, “I don’t mean to overstep since we just met but… it just seems like something is bothering you”

How could he possibly know that? You were sure your expression didn’t give off your thoughts. But he also seemed to somehow know about the colours on the shelf the other day, which had been troubling you for weeks on end. You’d been meaning to ask him about that too.

He was insanely intuitive for a 20 year old boy.

Hana had known you her entire life, and she still couldn’t tell when things were bothering you. Huh. 

“Sorry. I guess I’m just tired”

He chuckled softly, eyes narrowing, “You don’t need to apologise, Y/N. I was just worried about you”

Worried about you? He didn’t even know you. 

Why was he being so nice?

The neon sign above his head read “sweet candy”

The colours reflected onto him, and you wonder how his face was so perfectly shaped. 

You’d never seen someone like him in real life, and he looked far similar to the kind of people you drew in your paintings. But they only ever existed in the bounds of your canvases, and to see someone like that in front of you, it was…weird. Even the people in your paintings had imperfections, he didn’t.

Despite how kindly he talked, you weren’t sure how Hana could be so open with him already. He was intimidating, and he was hard to read. A tough combination. 

You let your gaze wander over him. His hair was messily curled, but every tendril fell perfectly into place. How was that even possible, for something so random as hair, to still frame his face so delicately, as if every strand was calculated? Hell, you could probably spend fifty hours trying to recreate that onto your canvas, but your strokes wouldn’t match up to the real thing. 

His hair was absolutely captivating, and maybe you were developing an obsession with it. 

Purely artistic.

You glanced away, “You don’t have to be. I guess I just wasn’t expecting to see Kim Seungmin here”

“Why? Is he not your type?” 

You shrugged. You didn’t know what your type was, and even if Seungmin wasn’t your type, you weren’t sure if you would straight up tell Hyunjin that. 

“I’m not really a blind date kind of person”

That was still the truth.

He laughed, awkwardly “Oh, don’t worry about it. Neither am I. This would be my first time…”

People like him probably didn’t ever need to rely on the concepts of “blind” dates. Lucky.

You turned to him, “How come you said yes then?”

He shrugged “Between the two of us… I didn’t know I was going to until I said it. It was crazy, agreeing to go on a date with a stranger I met in the bread aisle…but I suppose I wanted to do something crazy”

“Hana’s just like you. I guess you’ll really get along then”

He smiled softly, “I guess we will”

»»————-

Song Hana was a legend when it came to bowling. 

Maybe it was because she’d spent every single birthday perfecting the skill, because the thought of being a sore loser at her own party was far too disappointing. Regardless, she was much better  at it than you could ever hope to be. It was surprising to most people because Hana was petite, but bowling was more about skill than strength and she was excellent.

Seungmin was bent over the bench, tying the laces of his shoes neatly. 

A tray of hot dogs balanced on the plush seat next to him.

“So, what did you get us?” He asked, without looking up, as you and Hyunjin approached them, drinks in hand.

“Ice cream floats?” Hana cried, excitedly, running over. 

“I got you an extra cherry” Hyunjin told her, gesturing to her glass.

Hana’s eyes widened, picking up the bright red cherry by the stem “You’re serious? The cherry’s my favourite part!”

He laughed as she popped it in her mouth, “I guessed it was”

Where did he get that? 

The employees here definitely never let you or Hana have one, and you’d been coming here as a kid.

“Wow, the girl at the counter must have really found you handsome” You commented, staring at your singular sad cherry.

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, she’s never been that generous with any of us” You frowned. Hana nodded in agreement before busying herself with the nachos.

Hyunjin tilted his glass towards you, so you could see the top of it. 

It was empty, save for the cream. 

He’d given Hana his own? 

But the cherry was the best part...it was the reason you got ice cream floats in the first place.

“Oh” You spoke stupidly as you stared at the bare whipped cream.

He shrugged, with a small smile “I guess she didn’t find me handsome after all”

“Come on, when are we starting the game?” Seungmin piped up, before you could respond to Hyunjin and tell him that he couldn’t be more wrong.

“It’s us versus the two of you” Hana declared, slinging her arm around Hyunjin as she sipped on her drink.

“We’re gonna lose” You realised.

Seungmin laughed, popping a nacho in his mouth “Do you happen to be a terrible bowler, Y/N?”

“I’m not terrible”

“She’s the absolute worse, Minnie. You have your work cut out for you”

“Bowling is a very specific, and niche and useless skill to possess anyway, so it hardly matters” You frowned.

“What a way to impress your date” Hana rolled her eyes.

Seungmin grinned at her, “Oh but I’m already very impressed by her”

“I’m new to this too, so you won’t be the only one making a fool out of yourself” Hyunjin added. 

You blinked at him “I doubt you could ever make a fool of yourself”

He raised his eyebrows, “Well, say that again to me in an hour, Y/N”

Seungmin laughed, pushing you to the rack “Come on, go up first, tragically awful player”

You sighed, staring at the different balls, and grabbed a dark blue one. It felt like the lightest, the weight easy in your hands. You slipped your fingers into the thumb and finger holes.

Hyunjin and Hana settled down on the bench, the plate of nachos between them as they expectantly looked at you.

You looked up at the scoreboard. 

0 , 0.

“That’s the last time it’ll be even, Seungmin. You best get used to it” You mumbled, heading up to the lane.

Seungmin followed behind you, his hands on your shoulders “You can’t possibly be that bad”

You took a step back, taking in a deep breath, and bending down to get into position.

You moved forward, squinting at where you wanted the ball to go, and the path you wanted it to follow.

Hopefully you could knock at least one pin down.

You let out a breath, closing your eyes briefly before you rolled the ball forward. 

It went straight for the gutter, and Seungmin let out a loud laugh.

You frowned, stepping back, not bothering to look at the terrible outcome of your swing.

“I take my words back” He laughed.

“Can’t we play with the rails up? I haven’t done this in years” You asked, hands on your hips.

“The kiddie bumper?” Seungmin raised his brows.

“Don’t call it that” You sighed.

“Come on, you have one more chance” He spoke.

“One more chance to embarrass myself”

Seungmin laughed “Come on, just give it a shot”

You nodded, doing as he said so. The ball didn’t immediately go into the gutter, which was a win, and it ended up hitting just one pin in the process. 

Disappointing.

You don’t remember being this bad as a kid at this. Perhaps you should just stick to art, and nothing that had anything to do with sports.

“That’s better than none!” Seungmin spoke, squeezing your shoulders.

“You’re too kind” You sighed. Why hadn’t you just gone for a movie or dinner instead of this?

Hana and Hyunjin were looking at you, and Hyunjin spoke, sincerity laced in his tone, “It wasn’t so bad”

It sounded so genuine that you would feel bad calling him out for the undertone of sarcasm. You sat down with a huff, stuffing a salsa-dipped nacho into your mouth.

Seungmin stepped up for his turn, picking a 15pound ball. 

“Wait, I need to film this” You spoke, before he could go.

Seungmin turned to look at you, hand on his hip, “Why? So you can laugh at me later?”

“Of course not, I just want to immortalise your victory” You teased, but you were only joking, because you expected him to lose, and you gaped as he managed to knock down a few pins.

Seungmin laughed, turning to you, “Immortalise my victory, you say?”

“Shut up” You flushed “I didn’t know you’re actually good at it”

At least your team wasn’t completely hopeless.

“I think everyone and their mum is better than you at this, Y/N” Hana pointed out.

Hyunjin drew in a breath, “Ouch, Hana, that’s harsh”

“Thank you!” You exclaimed, sitting down.

Hana turned to him, a face of betrayal “You’re on my side or hers?”

Hyunjin laughed, eyes darting to you, “I’m on the side of not being mean to people”

Hana gasped, “We need to break up then”

You laughed at her dramatics, “Don’t worry Hyunjin, she's only like this with me. She’s a sweetheart otherwise”

Hyunjin smiled at you, “I know”

Hana had shifted closer to him, but she had her hands in her lap, and it was a telltale sign of her nervousness. 

You couldn’t blame her, this was the first boy she was seeing after Yeonjun, if you don’t count San. With San, things were different because they already knew each other, and all the ice had been broken. There was no awkwardness. Maybe you should converse more, after all, that’s why you’d come along, so you could make sure she was comfortable.

Hana bit her lip, looking at Seungmin instead Hyunjin. Hyunjin’s eyes were also focused elsewhere, as he slowly bit onto a nacho.

“So…how did she ask you out?” 

Hana and Hyunjin’s eyes snapped to yours at the question.

“Yes please. I need to know this story as well. I’m curious as to how you got him out of his room” Seungmin added, coming in to sit next to you as he casually swung an arm around you.

“What do you mean by that?” You couldn’t resist asking, even though you’d told yourself to keep your curiosity at bay.

He leaned back into the chair, hand dipping into the tray of nachos, “Well, Hyunjin’s been back in town for almost a month but I bet you’ve never seen him out. That’s because he’s always holed up in that little room of his, completely alone, doing god knows what. I’ve urged him to come out so many times, but it’s always a no. Thus, Hana you’re truly a miracle worker and perhaps my favourite person for bringing Hwang Hyunjin out of the house”

“Hwang Hyunjin?” You repeated. There were a lot of questions you had from what Seungmin had just revealed, but his name struck a chord.

It was familiar.

Seungmin laughed, pointing at you “It’s also a miracle how you’re always out of the loop”

You blinked at him, “I don’t understand”

“And I’m not alone Seungmin. I have Kkami” Hyunjin responded, a small pout on his face. His brows were scrunched together in faux sadness.

Your stomach flipped at the sight, and you looked away. Maybe you’d drank too much soda.

“What is Kkami?” Hana asked, leaning forward, to keep up with the conversation.

“His puppy” Seungmin answered.

You suddenly remembered the sign-up sheet for the art classes that he had asked you to check, and the name on it which had confused you.

Hwang, H.

“Wait, you’re the one who signed up for all of the weekend classes at The Château?” You blurted, like a dumbass. 

You hadn’t meant to pry so much, and Hana was right there and she couldn’t know you volunteered there. Not yet.

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, along with Hana’s.

“Yeah I did” He answered you, softly.

“How do you know that?” Hana asked.

Before Seungmin could say something, you interrupted him “Oh, Seungmin mentioned it in passing the other day…”

You squeezed his hand, hoping he would get the hint.

He slowly nodded, loudly biting onto the chip, and you knew Seungmin would question you later, but you were thankful that he didn’t question you now. He swiftly changed the topic “So, tell us how she asked you out”

Hyunjin laughed at the memory, turning to look at her “Well, I was - ”

“Let me tell the story!” Hana jumped in, her nervousness already subsiding, and you were glad it had worked. Hyunjin nodded, crossing his arms with a fond smile so she could speak.

“So, you know how I was late for San’s party, and I knew he would get mad at me, so I thought a carton of beer would cheer him up, cause well, he loves beer. Then I was in the section, and I see him there, and obviously I pretty much stop dead in my tracks” She gestured to him, and he laughed, feeling embarrassed. 

“So, how did you talk to him?” Seungmin asked.

“Well, he was tall…so I asked him to help me get some bread from the top shelf, something I absolutely did not need, but well, a cute boy was getting it for me so I didn’t care”

You laughed, that was so definitely something Hana would do.

“And then…I asked him his name, and then I asked him if he’s ever been to Sunset Bowl”

“Wait, really? That’s all?” You asked, leaning forward. You thought there would be more of a conversation, or build up, but she really went straight into it.

“Yup” She smiled proudly, “I went for it! And it worked”

Hyunjin laughed “I think part of why it worked was because I was so caught off guard”

Hana frowned at him, pouting “Not because you thought I was cute as hell?”

Hyunjin smiled at her, his eyes crinkling as he reached into her lap to grab her hand, “Of course. I thought you were so cute. That was the other part of it, Hana”

Wow. 

Your heart flipped. It wasn’t even much, but it was the way he said it. When had you ever heard a compliment so genuinely spoken, that wasn’t in a book written by women or a 90s romcom?

Hana burst into a grin, reaching forward to loop her arms around him, “You’re such a sweetheart”

You couldn’t help but smile as she buried her face in his hair. This is what she had been talking about.

It was only midway through their first date, but you knew that this was what she was looking for. You just never thought she would have found it so quickly, and so close to home. You suppose you were right when you said that only your best friend could find the love of her life on a Thursday night, surrounded by bread at the local 7/11.

“Gross” Seungmin spoke, and Hyunjin laughed.

He smiled as he pulled back, “Come on, it’s our turn now”

“Yes!” Hana yelled, realising why you were all here as she rushed to grab a bright pink ball. 

You watched with bated breath as she indeed scored a strike, knocking down all ten pins. On her first try.

“Fuck, it’s not fair that she’s so good”

“Or maybe it’s not fair that you’re so bad” Seungmin added.

“Hey! Kim Seungmin, you could try to be nicer to your date” You mumbled.

He laughed loudly, throwing his head back, “Trust me Y/N. This is me being nice”

“I feel truly blessed” You rolled your eyes, and he pinched your cheek teasingly.

“You’re up, Hwang” Seungmin spoke.

Hyunjin took in a deep breath, standing up. He’d taken off the leather jacket for ease, leaving him in just the white shirt now. He’d rolled up the sleeves, leaving the top two buttons undone, and you noticed the silver necklace that rested against his collarbones.

It was pretty.

He walked over to the rack, staring at all of the balls as they rolled back in. You wonder if he would go for an easy, light-weight one as a beginner, but he went straight for the heavier choice. He slipped his fingers into the purple ball, giving you both a once over before he stepped up to the lane.

“Please don’t make us lose” Hana mumbled, biting her finger, eyes darting to the scoreboard.

“I’ll try” He promised her.

Hyunjin brushed his hair back, getting into position.

You gaped at him, as he got into perfect form.

He had never bowled before? That was clearly a lie.

He took a step back, bending down before letting the ball slip from his hands and roll ahead. The sound of the ball hitting the floor reverberated throughout the alley. It moved so effortlessly, and smoothly, going straight into the pins and knocking most of them down.

“What!” Hana screamed, running over to him as she grabbed his arm, “You’re so fucking good!”

Hyunjin seemed surprised too, as he stared at the knocked over pins, “I am?”

“Ah! I’m so happy I picked you” She laughed, throwing her arms around him. Hyunjin laughed in disbelief, hugging her back.

Seungmin let out a groan, “We are definitely losing”

You sunk into your seat, shoving another chip into your mouth, “Let’s go home now”

“Ah no, come on Y/N. You have to try again” Hyunjin spoke, bringing a cosy Hana in his arms. She was beaming, and you were sure it was 90% because she found someone as good as her at this. She absolutely hated being on the losing team.

“It’s not possible that this is your first time” You spoke.

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows “It really is”

“But…you’re so good!”

Hana smirked “Jealous?”

“You have perfect form. It can’t be your first time” You repeated, scowling.

“That’s because he’s a dancer”

“He’s a what?”

Seungmin laughed “He’s a dancer. Things like this must come naturally to him, that’s probably why he has - ”

“You’re a dancer?”

Hyunjin stared at you, a smile pulling at his lips “Yeah, I am”

“Like contemporary? What do you…dance?”

“You can ask him all the boring stuff later, Y/N. I know you’re just stalling your turn” Hana rolled her eyes, pulling you up out of your seat.

“But…” You trailed off, glancing at Hyunjin’s face once before Hana pushed you up to the lane.

You had so much to ask him. At most, you thought he was just an aspiring artist. 

A dancer? You would never have expected that…perhaps it explained why he was so charismatic. 

Seungmin joined you, rubbing his hand soothingly over your arm, “Look at the bright side Y/N. You can’t do worse than you just did”

»»————-

“You know, by probability, you should’ve knocked at least one down by now” Seungmin spoke. Hyunjin and Hana behind you laughed loudly, all comfortable on the bench, as they huddled over the last plate of nachos and cheese.

It had been seven rounds, and you had consistently lost every single one.

Seungmin was right. You should’ve got at least one.

“How are you so bad at this, but so good at everything else you do?” He asked, arms crossed as you glared at the cursed bowling lane.

“That almost felt like a compliment” You replied, turning back for the walk of shame to the bench. You sank into your seat, grabbing your cherry float, “I’m tired, and hungry”

Hana was whispering something into Hyunjin’s ear, and you quirked an eyebrow at the mischievous smile on her face.

“What are you up to now?” You asked.

“Let’s switch” Hana announced.

“Switch?”

“Since you’ve been complaining about how unfair the teams are, let’s switch! Hyunjin can pair up with you. Then we can do…best of three for the new teams, and decide the winner based on that!”

Hyunjin shrugged, “That sounds fair”

How was it fair? Hyunjin was willingly agreeing to be on your team, which would definitely lose. You didn’t question it though, because if he was okay with it, maybe he had a plan.

Seungmin quipped, “Hwang, you’re just signing up to lose at this point”

“And what are the winning privileges?” You asked.

“The loser gets the others dinner. Anything of their choice”

“Fine” You nodded, and then pointed at Hyunjin “But I’m not buying that this is your first time, so our only shot is you”

Hyunjin laughed, stepping closer to you. He grabbed you by the forearm to lead you to the lane, away from your friends, “Listen to me”

You were too shocked by the way he’d grabbed you, fingers delicately wrapping across your arm, like he was afraid of overstepping but also wanted to take control at the same time.

“Yeah?”

You peered up at him, and his sudden burst of confidence, maybe it was all that sugar he’d consumed. His cheeks were flushed as he looked down at you.

“We can win this, Y/N. Just stop thinking so much…” He paused, studying your features for a second “And if we do happen to lose, I’ll buy them dinner, don’t worry about that”

You rolled your eyes, laughing “Thank you Hyunjin, but you’re expecting way too much from me”

Seungmin was watching the two of you with an amused expression “And you should take off your jacket if you want to win, Y/N. It’s clearly restricting your movements”

You looked down at yourself. You hadn’t realised you still had it on, it was just meant to be something you grabbed in case you were overdressed, which you kind of were.

“Trust me, the jacket isn’t gonna make a difference” You pulled at the zipper.

Hyunjin put his hands on his hips, pondering over Seungmin’s words “It could be worth a shot. Whenever I practice with something like that on, it does inhibit me”

“Practice what?” You raised an eyebrow, hoping to catch him slip up about how he was secretly a professional bowler, because there was no way he hit all those strikes the way he did.

Hyunjin smiled softly, amusement in his eyes “Dance, Y/N”

“I’d listen to him if I were you. My date is a prodigy” Hana beamed.

“Fine” You turned away, to unzip the jacket. They watched as you slipped it off, revealing the black dress underneath. It was an interesting design, most of the back just strings tied together across your bare skin, and the hem fell to your thighs.

You suddenly felt very exposed, the strappy dress had seemed fine when you’d left the house, but seemed much more revealing now after you’d kept it covered completely for the hour that you’d been here. Goosebumps rippled up your bare arms and shoulders, as the cool air of the air conditioner hit you.

You turned to Hyunjin, holding the jacket to your chest. 

He was gazing at you, eyes glossed with something you couldn’t recognise, but guessed was probably judgement.

He probably felt you were so overdressed for a bowling alley, and you suddenly wish you’d never taken it off. 

“Let’s try it out, I guess” You shrugged.

He handed you a purple bowling ball back that he’d fetched, and grabbed your jacket in return.

You got into position, bending down, but feeling far too conscious of his eyes on you. With Seungmin as your partner, at least you didn’t have to worry about sucking so bad. 

“You know, you two are a terrible team” Seungmin commented.

Hana laughed, sipping leisurely on her drink “He’s right. Y/N, you have terrible posture, and Hyunjin, you really should be helping her”

You froze in your movement. Help you how?

“How can I help her?” Hyunjin asked genuinely, glancing at them.

“Well, show her how she’s got it wrong” Hana replied.

Hyunjin’s eyes locked with yours, and he seemed hesitant “I’m not sure…if that would be appropriate”

What did he mean by that?

“Fine. I’ll do it” Seungmin drawled, abandoning his hot dog to come help you. 

Seungmin stood directly behind you, turning you around physically to face the lane. 

“Is it okay if I show you how?” He asked, into your ear.

You nodded, gulping at the close contact. Seungmin’s arms came up around you, your back pressed up into his chest, as he adjusted the way your hands should be placed. 

“Straighten your hand, and your wrist” Seungmin said, positioning you, his fingers trailing across your bare arm.

“Okay” 

“Hold your arm out like so” He extended your arm, and he was so close to you, you could feel his breath on your neck. So that’s what Hyunjin meant when he said it would be inappropriate.

“Okay, now rotate your wrist like that when you swing” Seungmin spoke.

“I didn’t know you’re an expert” You commented.

He laughed “It’s common sense, plus I’m a great observer”

He stepped back from you, and you took in a deep breath. You could feel Hyunjin’s gaze burning into you. He must expect so much. You demonstrated what Seungmin had just shown you, swinging the ball forward.

It slipped from your hands, moving forward almost effortlessly. 

You stared in silence, tensing every time it rolled to the side, and you were sure it would head into the gutter. It felt like ages before it finally reached, knocking down four pins to the side.

You gaped in disbelief at it.

Hana cheered loudly, “See! I knew you had it in you”

You grinned, turning to face them “Ten years of losing at these and nobody ever taught me that”

“Aren’t you glad I brought Seungmin then?” Hana winked at you.You sure were.

“When did you even tell him about tonight? I was under the impression that you don’t know each other” You asked, hugging yourself. Hyunjin had placed your jacket onto the seats, neatly folded and you bit back a smile.

Hana shrugged, “Everybody knows everyone in this town, babe. After you mentioned Seungmin at the diner the other day, I knew I had to seek him out and ask him to come”

“You mentioned me at the diner?” Seungmin raised his eyebrows.

Hana smiled, “She’s quite obvious about her hopeless crush on you”

“Whoa…” You spoke, shooting her a look “I never said anything like that”

Seungmin laughed, coming to stand next to you “I’m flattered, Y/N”

“I don’t have a crush on - ”

“Look at the way she’s blushing!” Hana commented.

Oh god.

Seungmin laughed loudly, pulling you into his side, “Don’t worry Y/N. I know not to take her word for it but I’m glad Hana invited me. It’s been fun”

Hyunjin was looking at the two of you as he did that, and for some reason you felt uncomfortable again, stomach turning.

Yeah, you’d definitely had too much soda.

“So!” Hana clapped, “Two more rounds, and we decide the winner!”

»»————-

To nobody’s surprise, Hana and Seungmin won.

You squinted, as they managed to get another bunch of good runs, easily putting them in the lead. Hana jumped into his arms, as he spun her around laughing. 

“Take that, suckers!” She spoke to the two of you.

You sighed, turning to Hyunjin “I told you, you shouldn’t have agreed to switching”

He just smiled, as if nothing ever bothered or inconvenienced him, “Well. A bet’s a bet. What do you guys want to eat, as the rightful winners?”

“Fried donuts, and candied popcorn” Seungmin announced.

“That’s a terrible combination” You sighed.

“Okay, food police” He rolled his eyes.

Hyunjin looked to you, “I’ll get it”

You stopped him, “Wait, no you already got the drinks, let me get this”

“Y/N, I appreciate that but I already said I’ll buy dinner”

“So?”

“I’m not going to break my promise like that, and make you pay now”

“You’re very righteous for a 20 year old” You commented, peering up at him.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “I’m twenty two. I’ll be back”

You watched Hyunjin walk over to the counter, and the girl at the counter lit up when she saw him approach. You sighed, as Seungmin stepped up next to you. 

“He’s always like that Y/N, don’t take it personally. He never lets me get anything for him, plus…it’s hardly gonna make a dent on his wallet”

You pondered over what he said “I still can’t believe he signed up for every class at The Château though”

Seungmin hummed, “He’s very passionate. I guess he likes spending on what he thinks is worth it, he’s very precise about that kind of stuff”

“How do you know him though?” You turned to him, “You said he’s been back for a month in town. Back from where?”

Seungmin smiled “You know, you ask a lot of questions”

You shrugged, frowning “I’m really curious”

“You’re nosy”

“Hey! I’m curious. Plus, if Hyunjin’s going to be dating my best friend, I would like to know something real about him”

“He’s famous”

“What?”

He laughed at your reaction. You stared at him, wondering if he was kidding, because that was so random.

“Fine don’t tell me, sorry I asked about him” You huffed, crossing your arms.

“I’m not lying, Y/N. Why would I make something like that up?”

“And why would Hyunjin be famous?”

Seungmin suddenly reached forward, his fingers grabbing you by the jaw and you froze at the action. 

What was he doing? 

He suddenly tilted your head, in the direction Hyunjin had gone. He was in line for the food and two girls were stood next to him, simmering with excitement, tissues in hand as they extended it to him. Hyunjin seemed caught off guard, but he smiled back at them, before grabbing a pen.

Your eyes widened at the sight, “Are they…actually asking for his signature?” 

Seungmin hummed, “He moved back from Seoul. Do you believe me now?”

That was such an age-old thing, you didn’t know people actually spotted celebrities in real life and asked them for autographs in the 21st century. The most you’d seen was people snapping pictures from afar to share it on the internet. 

“But what is he famous for? Dancing?”

Seungmin laughed, pinching your cheek “You’re really cute, Y/N. I wonder how you’re so disconnected from the real world”

You squinted at him, despite the blush coating your cheeks at his unexpected compliment, “As if you know every famous person in the world”

Seungmin interrupted  you, “Hold on, I need to go return these coupons I borrowed”

You nodded, following him to the cash counter on the other side of the alley.

As you walked, he said, “You can ask him all about it later though Y/N. I’m sure he would love to tell you. As for being your best friend’s date, don’t worry about it. Hyunjin is a wonderful guy”

“He seems so” You agreed, “I just can’t put my finger on it. He’s…so hard to read. He just agreed to go on a date with a random girl? He never leaves his house? He’s apparently never done this before but he’s so good. He pays thousands of dollars for art classes as a dancer, when he’s famous enough to be recognised in a place like Daejon? I’m just…so curious”

“Well, you also agreed to go on a date with a random guy” He pointed out.

“That’s different though”

He raised his eyebrows “How so?”

You sighed, knowing that he had a point, “Well, what about all the other stuff I said?”

Seungmin laughed, “I know what you mean, but honestly Hyunjin is one of the most transparent and open people out there. I know you’re protective of Hana but she couldn’t be with a better person. I felt the same when I met him, and well, you have all the time in the world to know the heart and mind of Hwang Hyunjin. Don’t worry”

“Yeah" You spoke, as Seungmin handed his friend at the counter the coupons which had managed to get your group a discount.

“Did you enjoy tonight?” He asked.

You turned to him, his face was so sincere, and your heart melted, “Of course, Seungmin”

He grinned, baring his teeth “I did too. I’m glad we did this”

You stared at him, wondering if it meant something more to him. You did have a wonderful time with him, but it felt like you were hanging out with a best friend, instead of someone you wanted to perhaps kiss, or go on a date with. Maybe you just needed some more time to get to know Seungmin better.

When you walked back to your seats, Hyunjin had already come back.

“Hey, I was um, looking for you” He spoke, the tray in his hands.

"Well, I’m back now, and wow, you really decided to treat us” Seungmin spoke, before you could ask Hyunjin why he was looking for the both of you.

You peered at the tray, and the contents in it. Hyunjin had got everything.

A slice of pepperoni pizza, a ham panini sandwich, a portion of quesadillas, chicken tenders, and then the desserts…churros with chocolate, fried donuts, and candied popcorn. 

It was all in small portions, like wedding samples, so there was enough for everyone but without it going to waste.

“Wow” Seungmin repeating, grabbing the tray from him, to place it onto your table with a grin. Hana squealed, diving into the popcorn she’d asked for, and grabbing a mouthful already.

“Hyunjin, you’re a blessing to me!” She exclaimed, sighing wistfully as she chewed.

You stared at the tray full of food, and then to Hyunjin, “You really didn’t need to do that, Hyunjin” You laughed “I mean, Seungmin and Hana only wanted the popcorn, and the fried donuts, which happens to be the worst combination ever...but yeah, you got pretty much everything on the menu” 

Hyunjin nodded, glancing at you as he rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah I know, I just wasn’t sure what you wanted”

“Oh?”

“I wanted to ask you, but you were with Seungmin and I...Well, so I got one of everything. I don’t know what you like more. I hope that’s okay”

“Oh”

He gave you a nervous smile, brushing his hair back with one hand, as if he hadn’t just done something completely unpredictable and crazy.

Yeah.

You were definitely looking forward to knowing how Hwang Hyunjin’s heart and mind functioned.

»»————-

⇐  masterlist ⇒

please let me know if you liked the chapter, or any thoughts on this part! thank you <3

taglist:

@thebelljug​​ @lovhyunj​​ @imthecuteanimal @caratinylyfe​​ @princess-kayleigh​​ @lovelyyyou​ @ermahgerd-larry-and-ziam​​ @murderyoursoul​ @hyuneluvbot​ @hyunjinslovelys​ @danyxthirstae01​ @jamaisvu97 @lixvs​  @lcvryu​ @seungly​  @hyuka-luvbot​ @neochaeryeong​ @xa21x​ @mel-the-mad-hatter​ @jellyjelly605 @beaann​ @sadbixth11​ @tae-kook-lover​ @hyunzales29​ @hyunhanji​ @imhyvnjin​ @hyynee​ @xpressomarstini​ @hyyuniverse​  @tulips4u​ @kibblesnbites​ @natskilou​ @marsophilia​ @dragonyeon​ @yubinism​ @yellowroseskolchek​ @lochness-butmakeitsexy​ @bangchan-simp​ @princehyun-jin​  @sunflowerbebe07​ @hyuckie-lee​ @malachitehoe​ @leechanniee @lovesickgirl253 @itslinaaaa​ @lovingonchan @ladytrbl @putmetogetheragain13​​ @freyaniobe @kangyounghyunhands​ @itsallaboutclassic​ @fwess​ @rie-cchi​ @w-a-v-ee​​ 

#hyunjin x reader #hyunjin fics #imagine #friends to lovers #smut #angst #fluff #skz x reader #skz imagines #kpop fics #hwang hyunjin

[pufflyhallows]

Getaway

Gif not mine

Pairing: Fred Weasley x reader

Summary: Business is going bad after the war and Fred is not feeling so great, so you decide to cheer him up with a special trip.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, language, tiny tiny bit of angst, still fluffy tho

a/n: this is my FIRST smut EVER so... be nice? also, Fred fucking LIVES bc I’m in denial forever lol

Word count: 4,3k

********

You wanted to surprise Fred.

He had been feeling down lately. Ever since he and George reopened the shop after the war, things had been a little tough. The movement was still quite slow, given the fact that people were still recovering from the war, mourning their lost ones and starting new lives. It was a difficult time for everyone, and of course it affected Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes as well.

What ached your heart the most was the fact that there wasn’t much you could do to help him. Every day you watched as he took longer to get out of bed in the morning, how he sounded slower and quieter when talking to you and, the worst part, how he acted quite mechanic when doing his chores around the shop, the same ones he enjoyed so much in the past and had always gotten done with a bright smile on his face. And although he never stopped caring for you or being loving to you, the bedroom had become… inactive. And you missed it. You missed being intimate with your boyfriend, but every time you tried to initiate it, he would softly decline, claiming to be too tired. You believed it. You could see he was indeed exhausted. And not only physically, but mentally too. Perhaps the latter was actually the one weighing more.

George, however, was quite the opposite. He kept his optimism high and was always the first to wake up every morning, excited with the new day and new possibilities. He would often go out and promote the shop, talk to people and sometimes even manage to bring a customer in.

This big difference between them worried you. No, you did not expect the twins to act the same, but you hoped in secret that Fred would follow his brother’s steps and cheer up a bit.

Cheer up. Yeah. That was exactly what he needed. And what better way to cheer up someone than a surprise trip? That’s how you were going to take his mind off of work. With Hermione’s help, you planned a very romantic weekend trip out of town. You talked to George beforehand, of course, but he assured you he could take care of the shop by himself for two days. He agreed Fred needed this.

“It’s not like we’re getting many customers anyway,” he had said.

So, as Friday approached, you felt the excitement building up. You managed to act completely nonchalant around him, making sure he didn’t suspect a thing. It wasn’t a big, expensive hotel because you knew he would worry about money and that was the opposite of what you wanted for this trip. Hermione had helped you pick a small, comfy hotel that was quite charming and fit your pocket perfectly. You wanted to make sure Fred felt loved, cared for and relaxed. There was also a little extra surprise inside your suitcase that you really hoped he would like…

What you didn’t know was that Fred felt guilty. He reckoned he hadn’t been the boyfriend you deserved lately, but he couldn’t help it. The stress was almost eating him alive and his mind was always wandering back to the shop, worrying about its future. You had been so kind and patient with him, he knew you deserved better than that. The whole thing was snowballing and sometimes he couldn’t see it ending.

That Friday, when you got home from work, the shop was still open and there was actually a customer inside, talking with George. You felt relief wash over you, because you knew what that meant: Fred was probably in a good mood.

You walked straight to the flat, not daring to interrupt George, but you stopped in the middle of the stairs to watch. He was speaking with such enthusiasm, showing and explaining his products to the young boy, that it filled you with pride. You caught his eyes for a brief moment and noticed the smallest of smirks appear on his lips. Smiling back, you nodded at him. Fred was nowhere to be seen, though, so you went upstairs.

There was a delicious scent coming from the kitchen. The older twin was there, cooking. You smiled to yourself at the sight. His favorite The Weird Sisters record was playing somewhere in the flat, adding a familiar, comfortable feel to the whole scene. Fred’s back was facing you while he chopped… carrots? on the counter. He didn’t seem to notice your presence just yet, so you took advantage of that. Placing your bag on the nearest chair, you walked in quiet steps towards your boyfriend. The fresh mint aroma coming from him meant he had probably just showered. Oh, and how you missed showering with him.

You couldn’t refrain your smile from growing even bigger once you noticed Fred’s body was swinging from side to side, so imperceptibly that you almost missed it. Carefully, you wrapped your arms around him from behind, resting your cheek on his back. You felt him tense up for a mere second before realizing who it was. He soon relaxed, letting go of the knife and placing his clean hand on yours.

“Didn’t hear you coming in,” he stated, voice low and raspy.

You hummed in response and placed a soft kiss on the nape of his neck. Fred turned around and briefly met your lips with his.

“It’s gonna take a while. Why don’t you go take a bath?”

“I will,” you nodded, running your hand from his chest to his shoulder and squeezing it gently. “How was your day?”

He shrugged. “Okay.”

“Okay”, you repeated. “Well, I hope I can make it better. I have a surprise for you after dinner.”

“A surprise?”

“Yes. I have an idea of how we can spend your days off.”

“Hm… Making plans already, are we?”

“Very good plans, yes. But you’ll have to wait until dinner.”

“Or you could tell me right now so I won’t have to.”

“But where’s the fun in that?”

You smirked and gave him another peck on the lips before rushing off the kitchen and leaving your boyfriend to his curiosity and imagination.

The warm bath made you think about a lot of things and you came to realize you were very lucky. The war was over and there you were, taking a bath in your boyfriend’s flat, the person you loved the most in the world. So many people lost their loved ones, their homes, their entire lives in that war. You knew you had many reasons to feel happy and should not take them for granted. Life was good for you right now, and you acknowledged it, promising to yourself that you were going to enjoy it the best you could, with Fred by your side.

George joined the two of you for dinner, which turned out to be the best you had in months. Not because of the food, although it was perfect, but because it felt like everything was back to normal, like all the meals you had shared before the war. Maybe it was the idea of a day off and the mention of a surprise from you, but you could see that Fred was already less gloomy or aloof.

After the meal, as if sensing you wanted to reveal your plans to Fred, George excused himself to his bedroom, claiming he still had to finish some work. You wished him goodnight, not missing the discrete wink he gave you.

“So…” you started, watching as Fred emptied his glass of pumpkin juice. “Remember when I said I had an idea on how to spend your days off?”

“Oh, yes. The surprise.”

“Well… I figured you could use a little rest from everything, so I made a reservation at a very nice hotel for the two of us to spend the weekend at.”

“You what?” Fred asked, a small smile starting to grace his lips.

“The portkey is set for our departure at 10 a.m. tomorrow.”

“But-”

“Nope. No buts,” you shook your head. “I have already packed our bags.”

“Y/N, doll, I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me I’m amazing, the best thing that ever happened to you, an angel sent from heaven…  Something humble like that.”

Fred chuckled, that contagious sound you missed hearing so much. “You’re amazing. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, a true angel sent from heaven.”

“I know! We’re gonna have so much fun,” you smiled excitedly, clasping your hands together.

“What exactly are your plans for us, though?” your boyfriend questioned, curiosity dripping from his lips.

“Oh, you’ll find out once we’re there.”

“The surprise doesn’t end here, I see.”

“Exactly. I have everything planned, baby.”

The look in Fred’s eyes seemed to indicate he had an idea of what you had planned, but he did not say a word about it. He would like to see the surprise reveal itself in the right moment. He wasn’t going to spoil your plans in any way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You always had your doubts when it came to ads, but this time you had to admit this was spot on. The hotel looked exactly like its pictures and descriptions.

“Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?” the receptionist asked as soon as you stepped in the lobby.

It was something so small, so simple, but it made your heart flutter and stomach fill with those restless butterflies. Mrs. Weasley. Were you ever going to become that? You wondered if Fred even noticed the little misunderstanding.

“Um,” you cleared your throat. “Actually, it’s just one Weasley. Fred Weasley. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

Your slight flustered manner didn’t go unnoticed by Fred. Despite the obvious nervousness, he thought it was rather cute. In fact, he liked to hear you be called that. Perhaps he should do something about it…

“Oh, I apologize. Mr. Weasley and Miss Y/L/N,” the receptionist corrected herself as she checked the reservation’s book. “You’re right on time, your room is ready for you. I just need your wands for ID confirmation before I give you your key.”

Both of you handed your wands to the young woman behind the desk and she did as she was supposed to. Sooner than you had anticipated, you were in the lovely suite you had reserved.

Fred placed the small handbag on the bed – blessed be the extension charm, that’s all you had to carry for that trip – and walked around the room curiously. You went straight for the big window and opened the curtains. There it was. The view you had seen on the ad and that had made you instantly choose this hotel.

“Fred,” you called softly, looking behind you. “Come see.”

Your boyfriend let go of the catalog on the nightstand and approached you, eyeing the outside in awe.

“Wow,” he breathed. “It’s beautiful.”

“Isn’t it?”

When making the reservation, you were met with the question: would you like a room with view to the street/village or to the beach? And you chose the beach, although the village was a lovely sight. Now, seeing Fred’s reaction, you were absolutely sure you had made the right choice.

The hotel was in a small village where both wizards and muggles lived. With a little help from magic, the wizards could go unnoticed and the muggles lived everyday life without a single clue of the existence of such peculiar neighbors. The beach was right behind the village, and your room being in the back of the hotel, you had a wonderful privileged view of nature’s beauty.

“Wanna go down there?” you asked.

“What’s in your plans?” he asked back, switching his gaze from the window to you.

“Beach,” you replied with a small smile. “Basically the entire day at the beach, lunch at a muggle restaurant down there too. But dinner here.”

“I’ll follow your script, doll.”

Fred placed his hand on your waist and pulled you closer, pressing his lips ever so gently on yours. You instantly let go of the curtains so you could run your fingers through his soft hair. The light fabric fell back to its place, covering the windows again and leaving the room a little darker than before. Fred’s gentle kiss wasn’t so gentle anymore.

No, not yet.

You broke the kiss and pulled back, biting your lip as you started to feel that you might not be able to wait until the right time for your surprise.

“I’m starving,” you whispered against his lips.

“Me too,” he pulled you closer again.

“Let’s go, then.” You managed to get out of his embrace and grab the handbag before heading to the bathroom to change into your bathing suit.

A hungry Fred was left standing by the big window.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been hard.

It had been hard seeing you in so little clothing, dripping wet, skin glistening as droplets of water reflected the sunlight. But Fred managed.

All he had in his mind every time he saw you leaving the water was how he wanted to take you then and there. He had to distract himself from those thoughts, paying attention to what you were saying but not too much to your moving lips. He knew you had something planned and he was appreciative of how much effort you had put in this weekend for him. That was the only reason he wasn’t indulging to his not-so-pure thoughts.

Lunch was a good distraction too, specially since you had to convince a muggle child she had imagined it when she saw Fred stop his falling fork mid-air.

Now, as the two of you walked hand in hand back to the hotel, he wondered if he was going to be rewarded for the self-control test he had just passed. You were humming a song as you observed the houses, trying to guess which ones were muggles and which ones were wizards.

“What’s next?” he asked.

“Dinner!” you answered excitedly. “But, if I were you, I wouldn’t go overboard.”

“Why, if I may ask?” but Fred already suspected why.

“Well… there might be plans for after dinner as well.”

Fred held your hand tighter and pulled you towards the hotel in a faster pace. You chuckled, feeling the excitement grow bigger and bigger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dessert?” the waiter asked as he took the empty plates from your table.

“No, thank you,” Fred replied before you had the chance. “We’re calling it a night, aren’t we, sweetheart?”

“Actually,” you smirked at your boyfriend before looking at the waiter. “I’d like chocolate pudding, please.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

As soon as the waiter left, Fred gave you a look.

“What?” you asked nonchalantly.

“I thought you said we wouldn’t go overboard.”

“I’m not going overboard. I had a small plate,” you shrugged.

“Right,” Fred sighed, bouncing his leg under the table.

When your chocolate pudding came, you grabbed the spoon and took a small amount to your mouth. Fred watched your every move, arms crossed and brows slightly furrowed as he saw you slowly lick the spoon. You pretended you didn’t know he was watching, eyes on the tiny bowl in front of you, and you mouthed another spoon, unintentionally getting pudding all over your lips.

Your boyfriend gulped as he watched you run your thumb over your lower lip, getting rid of the chocolate there, and gently suck on it.

“For fuck’s sake, Y/N,” he mumbled.

“Hm?” you looked at him innocently.

“Just eat the damn thing.”

“You want some?” you raised the spoon at him.

“Yes, I want some.”

You felt your cheeks burn just a little bit with his remark, heart begin to race as the ideas for what you wanted to do to him tonight started to flood your mind.

“If you wait patiently, you might get what you want,” you teased, looking back at the bowl and already serving another spoon, which you quickly brought to your lips, licking all the content off of it.

Fred shook his head, one corner of his lips going upwards ever so slightly, eyes glued on you.

“You sure you don’t want to taste it?” you offered again, lips glistening as you cleaned them with your tongue.

“I will taste it,” his eyes pierced through your body and suddenly the hotel was too hot.

You had barely served the last spoon of pudding when Fred stood up and let the waiter know you were headed to the room.

“I haven’t finished yet,” you protested and he immediately took the last spoon from your hand and into his mouth.

“Now you have,” he said as he pulled you from the chair.

The way back to the suite felt much longer than it actually was, but as soon as you reached the door, Fred’s lips were on yours. You had trouble to get the key with your boyfriend’s hands all over you, pulling your body hard against his.

“Fred,” you breathed, stepping back. “There’s another surprise.”

Before he could say anything, you unlocked the door and went inside.

“Sit down,” you slowly pushed him to the bed. “And close your eyes.”

Fred complied with no protests, but you could see he was getting flustered, probably guessing what was coming.

You blew out most of the candles illuminating the room and left only a few to create the romantic atmosphere you wanted. You went to the bathroom and changed into the expensive lacy lingerie you had bought for this exact occasion. It was red, a color you had learned Fred was very fond of when it came to this kind of clothing, and had one small, delicate bow right between your breasts.

“Are your eyes closed?” you asked from the bathroom, hand on the doorknob.

“Yeah,” you heard in response.

“No peeking ‘til I tell you to,” you warned.

“…‘kay.”

You opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom. Fred was still sitting on the bed, one leg bouncing impatiently, and a slight frown between his eyebrows.

Slowly, you approached the bed and stood right in front of him.

“Open your eyes,” you whispered.

As soon as he did, Fred sucked in a shaky, quiet breath. He eyed you from head to toe, not hiding his astonishment.

“Baby,” he mumbled in a deep voice, already feeling his pants get a little too tight as his eyes still traveled through your entire figure.

“Do you like it?” you asked.

“Mm-hmm,” he nodded, biting his bottom lip.

“Good,” you smiled, placing your hands on each of his shoulders. “Now let me show you how proud I am to be your girlfriend.”

Your lips met Fred’s in a slow, deep kiss as you climbed the bed and straddled him, your arms thrown around his neck. Fred let out a soft moan when he felt your weight against his lap, his hands going up your back, fingertips sending shivers down your spine as they searched for the bra clasp. However, you stopped them and placed them back on your hips.

“Not so fast,” you whispered against his lips.

Before he could protest, you kissed him again, now pushing him all the way back to lay down on the bed. Hovering above him, you started pulling up his shirt, which he quickly got rid of for you. You chuckled. Maybe you weren’t the only one who had missed this.

Now that you had free access to his torso, you began to place soft, wet kisses on his neck, slowly moving down to his chest and stomach, painfully taking your time.

You could feel Fred’s breathing get deeper and deeper as you kissed his abs, working your way down to his pants. Once there, you stopped the kisses for a brief moment, so you could focus on getting rid of that piece of fabric. Again, Fred quickly helped you out until you were both just in your underwear.

The sight sent goosebumps through your body and you inevitably bit your lower lip. He was already so hard, you felt the anticipation building up inside you.

You decided to torture him for a little bit – just a little bit – and carried on with the kisses, not taking off his underwear quite yet. However, Fred’s impatience was growing and he didn’t think he would manage to wait for too long. His hand found your hair and he started stroking it, running his fingers through it, a disguised way to guide your head to where he needed you the most. You realized his intentions, but you did not stop him. You let him take you where he wanted and soon your lips found his still covered length.

“Shit, Y/N.”

You smirked.

Slowly, you started pulling down the last piece of clothing until you completely freed him. He was so beautiful. You still had a silly smile on your face as you ran your tongue all the way up from the base to the tip, where you placed a gentle kiss. Fred’s soft moan reached your ears, a beautiful sound that made you even more wet.

You took him in your mouth and started sucking the tip in a slow, teasing pace, while your hand loosely stroked him. You didn’t want him to cum yet. You wanted him to last. And you were going to make him last.

Fred’s hand never left your hair, and he began to slightly pull it, asking for more. He needed more.

“Y/N,” he moaned. “Y/N, please.”

You ignored him and kept going in that insanely slow pace, taking your time. What was the hurry?

You heard a low groan, and felt him move his hips against you. You stopped.

“Behave yourself, Weasley.”

“Baby… Please.”

You smirked again, giving him one last stroke, and you let go of him.

Fred looked at you in a way you hadn’t seen in a while. His eyes were dark, full of pure lust. But also desperation and discontent with the sudden lack of touch.

You crawled on the bed until your face was right above his, and you kissed him. It was a deep, passionate, hurried kiss between two people who were eager for each other. This time, you didn’t stop Fred’s hands from going up your back and unclasping your bra. He took it off and you quickly felt his left hand on your right breast, squeezing it. His right hand, however, was going up and down your side, sending shivers through your bare skin. He rested it on your waist for a little bit before going down to your ass and squeezing it tightly. You moaned against his lips, your own impatience growing.

You only stopped the kiss to get rid of your panties, the last piece of fabric separating you from him.

Fred watched as you got off of him and started to pull it down your smooth legs. He could feel his cock throbbing at the sight of your completely naked body. You were breathtakingly, heart-racingly beautiful. He loved the lingerie, he really did, but he loved your body a thousand times more. And he would never get tired of looking at it.

When you straddled him again, skin to skin now, he thought he would cum right then and there. You smiled at him, that beautiful smile that never changed, and kissed him one more time. Fred placed his hands on your waist, squeezing it gently, as if to encourage you. Not wasting another second, you guided his tip to your entrance and slowly sank down on him, allowing him to get all the way inside you, quite easily given how wet you were.

“Oh fuck, baby,” he moaned.

Letting out your own whimpers, you placed your hands on his chest and started riding him, still slowly, still teasingly. Fred’s moans soon turned into groans, complaints. He was getting tired of the teasing, he was already on edge. He couldn’t take it anymore. With a swift move, Fred shifted the both of you so now he was on top. He started thrusting into you, quite roughly, earning a loud approving moan from you.

“Fred,” you gasped, digging your nails into his shoulders.

He kept going, pounding harder and harder, moaning as he did so.

You started kissing his neck, biting, sucking, anything that would leave a mark.

“Yes, baby,” you cried out as he thrusted even deeper.

The bed was making a discreet creaking sound that you weren’t sure if the people in the other rooms could hear. You hoped not, but honestly? Right now you didn’t care. The sound of Fred’s heavy breaths, moans, groans and whimpers were all you were paying attention to. Beautiful sounds that had the power to shut down anything else in your mind.

The rhythm he had created was sending you to heaven with every motion. His lips soon found your own again and he kissed you as if he hadn’t done it just minutes before.

“Fuck, Y/N. I’m close.”

“Me too.”

As you felt your body tense, Fred came inside you with a low groan, slowing down just a tad bit. He kept thrusting, however, knowing you were about to reach your climax too. And not long after him, you felt a wave of pleasure wash over you, and your body relaxed completely.

Both of you were panting against each other’s neck, your arms still loosely around his shoulders as he slowly pulled out and collapsed on top of you.

Hugging him more tightly, you felt Fred leave small kisses on your neck, and you closed your eyes, enjoying the extra-tingly sensation. You started to run your fingernails up and down his back, the other hand caressing his hair.

If you concentrated hard enough, you could hear the waves crashing on the beach, the giggling of children playing down there, and the muffled music coming from the muggle restaurant. You felt so at ease.

After a long moment of peaceful, comforting silence, Fred looked up and smiled. “I love you so much.”

You smiled back. “I love you too.”

Not bad for round one.

********

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley smut #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fic #harry potter fanfic #harry potter imagine #hogwarts #gryffindor #slytherin #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #random tag

[thosewickedlovelies]

AND THEY WERE WALLMATES: Banana Bread (part 1)

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Rating: probably T for mature themes (implications of sexy times and violence). It will go up later ;)

Summary: You share an apartment wall with Javier Peña, but that doesn’t make it any easier to get to know him. You didn’t think your baking would be the catalyst (read: Javi is jealous that Connie gets all the extras).

Tags: Mention of blood; super vague description of wound care; alcohol; TW for Javi: you have FEELINGS bby

Word count: 2,791

A/N: I guess technically this starts at the beginning of season 1, but I don’t plan on referencing the events of the show, so imagine they’re working on things less intense than trying to catch Escobar. I found Javier really tricky to write for, so I hope this reads okay! I’m so excited about the future chapters I have outlined for this lol pls get hype.

Masterlist

---

You had only been living in your new place for about a month when you got new neighbors. You were glad for the company- the four-apartment building was fairly new, and didn’t feel very lived-in. You did your best to add some personal flair to your apartment, but it still had the effect of reminding you of your own newness to this place, your lack of any deep personal connections.

Your other neighbor didn’t exactly help with that. Javier Peña had lived here for awhile before you moved in, but that was all you knew about him; you didn’t speak much beyond your neighborly greetings and his insinuating smiles. He never hides his lingering glances, but nor does he make any other moves- you sense he’s a safe type, all bark and no bite (without consent). So you always amusedly but politely ignore the invitation implicit in your exchanges. They don’t seem to have a lot of depth anyway, as if he’s just trying for the sake of trying. Granted, he probably never has to do much more than that- you’re very aware of how attractive your neighbor is on the surface. You just prefer to feel a connection slightly deeper than surface level before going home with someone.

You learn more about him from Connie, who tells you that he works at the embassy with her husband, Steve. In “janitorial services.” You raise a bemused eyebrow at that, but respect your neighbors’ privacy and don’t ask further questions. You help Connie get a job at a hospital a few blocks away from the one you’re a nurse at and promise to help her practice Spanish.

The building feels more lively now, and you’re happy to have a confidant upstairs, especially one who’s more privy to the life of your enigmatic hall-mate. You don’t know if it’s the neighborly care you feel for your new friend or if there’s some other unconscious change, but you begin to keep an ear out for Javier. You do share an apartment wall, although you don’t glean much through it. Some standard kitchen rummaging, television noise, the occasional bedroom guest (whose enterprises you try not to listen to, but damn if the man doesn’t have a perfect voice for after-dark activities). The most noticeable thing about him is the odd hours he keeps: sometimes in tandem with Steve’s schedule and sometimes not, you can never predict when he’ll be in or out.

--

Little do you know, you’re not the only one paying attention. Javier has spent many an evening alone with only whiskey and the television for company, but now there are other things to stimulate his senses. The smell of your baking filtering through the wall, even lingering in the hallway the next morning. The sound of you singing to the radio while clattering about the kitchen. Sometimes he turns the tv down to listen and imagines there being no wall between your two homes. What would his life be like with someone to infuse that kind of sweetness and light into it?

He doesn’t mean you specifically, necessarily. If, once or twice, your face jumps to mind while he’s taking care of himself in bed, he thinks nothing of it. You’re his beautiful neighbor- it’s a fantasy begging to be played out.

But damn if he hasn’t been tempted to make it a reality. He gets to taste your baking sometimes when you leave extras with Connie, and one day she catches his brow creased in a frown, distracted halfway through a slice of walnut banana bread.

“Javi,” Connie repeats, trying to get his attention.

“Yeah.” Javier snaps out of it, looking up.

“You’ve been staring at that piece of banana bread for a full two minutes. Is it gonna do a trick?”

He decides to lean into it, see what Connie’s reaction might be. “Only if the trick is getting me out of my pants. I don’t know a man alive who could resist the shit she makes.” He scoops another forkful into his mouth to prove his point, letting the rich, nutty flavor remind him of other places. Homes. Real homes, made of people, not the solitary kind he lives in now.

She rolls her eyes at his crudeness, but agrees. “You’re right about that. I don’t know where she gets the energy to do this after hospital shifts.”

Javier hides his next thought with another forkful of bread and a noncommittal noise. Wonder if she’d have as much energy for it if she had a man to tire her out. It was automatic, a question he couldn’t help debating with himself. Surely no one who spent that much time in the kitchen could have energy to spare on…other pursuits.

Connie is regarding him shrewdly. He avoids her gaze, focusing on finishing his plate in large mouthfuls to avoid the questions he can feel brewing. But he’s not quick enough. “Has she always brought you extras too?” she asks. Too casually, idling with her fork.

“No,” Javier says dismissively, and it’s not quite a scoff. “She wasn’t here long before you showed up. We’re not as close as you two.” Understatement. Did he sound sour about the fact?

Before Connie can ask any more questions he rises from his seat. “Well, don’t let me keep you. Tell Steve what I said.” With a nod of farewell, he turns and strides out the door.

--

One night you’re awoken with a start from where you’d fallen asleep on the couch. Heart pounding, you sit up, listening intently. You’d never felt unsafe here, but you’re aware of the potential dangers. What had woken you?

You hear a swear from the hall, and your muscles relax as you recognize Javier’s low voice. There’s a beat of silence, then a scraping, clinking sound. He must have dropped his keys. But then he grunts, and concern sweeps over you. You’re a nurse- you recognize the sound of a man stifling his pain.

There are long delays before each new noise that indicates an action. The doorknob twists as he grunts again, but it’s a moment before the key turns in the lock. It seems to take an age for him to get through the door; his motions sound clumsy before he closes it. Safe in the privacy of his home, so he thinks, he lets out a longer sigh, the pain and exhaustion now obvious in the sound. But you can hear his fumbling through the wall, and you worry your lip between your teeth. It is your place to go see if he’s alright?

Finally you decide that it is. You’re his neighbor and a healthcare professional, and it is your professional opinion that he sounded in-pain enough to warrant a check-up. Plus, you heard him that way before he got inside, you reason. So it’s not as if you were just being snoopy through the wall.

Just in case, though, you grab some muffins you made earlier as a backup excuse (once again mentally thanking whoever left the cookbook in your apartment). 11:30 isn’t too late for a friendly drop-by, right?

You knock softly on his door. “Javier? It’s me.” Nervous energy taps in your fingers. You’re never even been on his side of the hallway before.

There’s a shuffling sound, and the door unlatches. A narrow gap opens, into which Javier plants himself, and you immediately zero in on where he keeps one leg wedged behind the door. He leans into the elbow propped against the doorjamb above his head, while his other hand already holds a glass of what you can smell is whiskey. He looks like he would rather be anywhere but here at this moment. “Neighbor,” he greets dryly, a neutral expression on his face.

“Uhh.” You’ve never been this close to him before, and his appearance catches you off-guard. His usually combed hair is messy, waves tangling over his forehead, and he’s sweaty, the open collar of his shirt damp and the exposed skin gleaming with moisture.

Javier raises an eyebrow expectantly, taking a sip of his drink. His glances down at the plate in your hands, and it prompts you to speak.

“Hi, Javier. Uh, sorry, I know it’s late, but I thought I’d bring you some of these-“ you lift the dish “-before they come with me to work tomorrow. They’re banana bread muffins.” Your voice falters with your confidence. Your eyes can’t help but flicker over his face and chest, taking in the smear of dust on his jaw, the redness of the knuckles wrapped around his glass. Mostly you’re trying not to look at the leg he’s definitely hiding, which you can tell he’s keeping his weight off of.

--

Javier stares at you, not buying it for a second. His lips purse for lack of a cigarette to wrap around. He shifts the weight he has on his arm- damn, his leg hurts- and wonders what could have possibly prompted you to start bringing him baked goods now of all moments. “Why aren’t you bring those to Connie’s?” Like usual.

“Um, well-“ He sees your gaze finally drop to the leg he’s kept out of view, and too late remembers who got Connie the hospital job.

“I heard you drop your keys, and it sounded like you were in pain,” you confess. “I’m a nurse, Javier. I can help if you need it.” Though apologetic, your tone is firm, face sincere as you offer him aid. Him, your grumpy neighbor who does nothing but leer at you.

Well, he isn’t that proud. Javier sighs, and opens the door further. Your eyes widen as you see the long slice in his pant leg, blood still damp around the wound beneath. “Shit, Javier, what happened? It doesn’t matter, shit, sit down.” You surge forward without waiting for permission, tucking yourself under the arm of his uninjured side and steering him toward a dining room chair. Where he’d been about to sit down down and tend to the cut himself. He supposes your apartments mirror each other, but your familiar reaction to the layout still surprises him.

“Whoa, hey, watch the whiskey,” he exclaims, flailing out the arm holding the glass, taken aback by your sudden manhandling. With one hand still occupied by the muffins, you direct him solely with an around his waist and your shoulder propped under his armpit. He couldn’t have resisted if he tried. If it weren’t for the fiery pain in his leg, your hold would have him feeling a very different kind of heat.

You give him a look that says you won’t be fooled by his blustering as you deposit him onto the chair and the plate on the table. “May I?” you ask, kneeling, hands hovering above his wound.

“Oh, now you’re asking permission?” He scoffs in disbelief but waves a hand in consent, leaning back in the seat.

You scoff right back at him. “Look, I see blood, I make the macho men sit, okay? Why didn’t you go to a hospital with this?”

Javier studies you as you carefully lift the denim to peer at the cut on his thigh. He takes a sip of whiskey to buy time (as well as dull the stinging pain). You’ve put on a robe over what looks like pajamas, but you seem too alert to have just dragged yourself from bed. And yet...was that a pillow mark on your cheek? Just there, arcing from your temple to your jaw…

“Javier?" you're looking up at him, a touch of confusion on your face.

“Did I wake you up?” he hears himself asking.

Her gaze drops again. “No,” you answer. “Well, yes, but I fell asleep on the couch, so it was a good thing.”

Ah, that explained the pillow mark.

Finally you stand. Your hands rest on your hips, heedless of your fingertips smudged red with his blood. “It doesn’t actually look too bad. I have enough supplies here to fix you up. You stay here, take off your pants if you can manage it by yourself, and I’ll be right back.” And with that you whisk away, robe swishing through his front door.

Javier remains where he is, a bit stunned by this turn of events, your sudden insertion into his life. He shakes his head. Maybe whiskey and blood loss shouldn’t go together. He tosses back the rest of his glass anyway in order to wrangle off his jeans.

By the time you return, he feels more composed, if rather uncomfortably vulnerable, sitting in just his boxers with a bloody slice across his thigh. He watches silently as you arrange various medical supplies on the table and pull up a chair across from him. You perch on the edge of it and look at him before doing anything else. “Are you gonna tell me how you got this?”

He’s not about to tell you it was a fluke accident during one of Carillo's interrogations. Somehow, while his back was turned, the guy got free and tried to escape, swinging a knife wildly as he hurled past Javier. The cut was long, ugly, but shallow. He’d live. He couldn’t say the same for the man who delivered it.

--

Javier considers his answer. “Can’t,” he says. “It’s better if you don’t know.” His gaze skitters away as he speaks.

He works for the government with a poker face like that? “Janitorial work, huh?” you say dryly. Sighing, you reach for the antiseptic. “At least tell me what made it. So I can treat it properly.” You look at him steadily.

Javier looks back for a long moment. “A knife,” he says at last.

You nod, and rip open a packet of gauze. He sucks air through his teeth as the antiseptic sears the wound clean, but otherwise doesn’t speak while you work. Which is fine. You notice he’s drained his glass, and you empathize. Frankly you wish you had a drink yourself right now.

Once you’ve cleaned the cut it’s easier to see the damage. Which is minimal, thankfully. Most of the blood was probably from him moving around when it happened. You explain what you’re doing as you seal the wound closed. Only when you’re almost finished does he speak.

“Why don’t you ever bake me anything?”

It’s so unexpected that your hands still. You stare at him in astonishment, waiting for him to elaborate.

“What I mean is…christ,” Javier mutters. The unflattering fluorescent light overhead highlights the dark circles under his eyes as he scrubs a hand over his face. “You always leave extras of stuff at Steve and Connie’s. Never here.” With me.

You resume your work on his thigh, surprised to feel a tinge of guilt. “You didn’t seem like a baked goods kind of guy,” you reply, hoping you don’t sound too defensive. It was true, after all. Though you never got a sense of threat from Javier, neither did he seem the type who would appreciate domestic gestures of friendship.

He didn’t look offended, however. I’ll try anything once,” he says, the ghost of a familiar smirk suggesting he’s feeling better. But then he leans forward, all traces of smirk vanishing. “And your lemon drizzle cake was incredible.” Javier looks at you seriously. His face is too close for your level of acquaintanceship, but you don’t move away.

Surprised, you assess him anew, wondering if you’re catching a glimpse of the man beneath all the masculine posturing. He’s nicer-looking this way, you muse. His face softer, brown eyes wide and sincere. You hide just how pleased you are at this insight (which you’re sure he has no idea he’s giving you) beyond allowing yourself a small smile.

“Well, maybe next time I’ll bring you some.”

--

Javier can’t quite find another quippy response, so he just gives a small nod, finding it hard to draw back even after you break his gaze. He tries not to fidget as you place a final strip of tape over the gauze bandage.

“There,” you declare, your work complete. “That should hold you for tonight.” You stand and gather up your supplies, giving him care instructions as you go. “Got it?” You seem much more relaxed than when you first arrived, confidence in your work squaring your shoulders. It’s…compelling, much more so than your usual reserved smiles in the hall.

“Yes ma’am.” Javier nods, not having heard a word. “…Thank you,” he adds, begrudgingly grateful.

You smile wryly at him. “Goodnight, Javier.”

You’ve nearly reached the door when he speaks again. “Javi.”

“Hm?” Pausing, you turn back to him.

He clears his throat. “You…you can call me Javi.”

Your smile is much warmer this time, brightening your eyes, and Javier feels his heart pound. “Goodnight, Javi.”

#javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #narcos fic #narcos #javier peña #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters

[beckydoesthings]

I spend far too much time on AO3 to let it all go to waste, so here’s a collection of ABO fics that I thoroughly enjoy. These are all hxl unless specified otherwise. I tried to condense my total list into one post, but I very quickly realized it would be waaaaay too long, so I split it up. 

*will continue to update this. also if i mistagged an author, i deeply apologize, i do not know how to tumblr*

sleeping on our problems

E | 67k | @falsegoodnight

I’m in love with you, Louis thinks. He feels empty, weighed down by his sadness and the loss of Harry inside him just moments ago before his knot finally went down.  There’s moments where he’s sure Harry feels the same. Like now, when he’s gazing down at Louis with so much adoration and tenderness. It’s like they’re both on the cusp of something more, but neither of them ever say a word. His confession is on the tip of his tongue ready to slide out like honey, and yet he remains silent. They both do, looking at each other and recognizing the reluctance mirrored in each other’s eyes. It’s then that Louis realizes they’re both scared. - Or Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

this is everything i’ve ever wanted in an ABO fic and i’m genuinely in love with this. i think i cried reading this lol and i’m not ashamed of it. also the smut!

A Distant Hazy Light

E | 198k | @greenfeelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

this is part one of a three part ABO series that also probably made me cry at some point. chock full of angst and heartbreak with an (eventual) happy ending. also the side ziam is just *chef’s kiss*. 

pray for some sweet simplicity

E | 237k | @eeveelou

Louis is the only omega to ever make it in the cut-throat world of competitive motorcycle racing—that is, he would be if anyone actually knew about his identity. Now, his sights are set towards competing in—and winning—the European Grand Prix, the biggest and most difficult race of the entire year, so he can disappear underground for good. He’s close enough, too, until an alpha sports journalist is assigned to follow Louis’s every move as he prepares for the event of his career.

Or, an AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.

it’s just so beautiful. their relationship development was soooo good and i adored reading this piece. i never thought i could enjoy a motorcycle racing story so much!

A Sea Without Water, A Compass Without Direction

T | 84k

”Tell me, Louis,” Captain Styles said, leaning forward a little. ”D’you think I’m an idiot?”

”I—what?” Louis asked, surprised by the blunt question. He had expected something different, something along the lines of how he learned music, or how he ended up as a prisoner on the other ship.

”Do you think I’m an idiot?” The captain repeated, putting emphasis on each word as though Louis couldn’t understand him otherwise.

”Of course not,” Louis said, shaking his head. He’d be a fool for thinking such a thing, and an even bigger fool for saying it out loud. ”Captain.”

Captain Styles nodded slowly, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands in his lap. ”Then why did you lie to me?”

”L-Lie?”

”Out on the deck. You lied to me,” he said. He held up his hand, three fingers up. ”Three lies total. I hate liars.”

i think i’ve read this like a dozen times and it’s still. so. good. probably the first pirate fic i read and i love it so much! the dynamic between them is awesome to read.

Seeing Blind

E | 46k | @that-idiot-overthere

Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”

OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.

the smut in this fic is absolutely filthy and i love it ;). but watching the two boys be idiots in love made this fic for me.

The Space Between

E | 40k | @alltheselights

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

i wanted to smack harry the entire time i was reading this, but in a cool way obviously. it’s quite fluffy but it’s got enough angst to make it suspenseful.

Face Your Fears

E | 92k | @sadaveniren

Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

this fic is a rollercoaster of emotions from beginning to end and it’s amazing to read. i’m not sure what i love more, the fact that harry’s a baker or half the plot being based around wikipedia being false.

The Compulsion to Find Love

E | 140k | @toomanydreamers

The most prestigious English third-level institution, Candling University, accepts omega students for the first time and Louis Tomlinson applies with bright eyes and brighter ambitions. There he encounters personal obstacles, traditional mindsets and a beautiful boy who inverts every prejudice Louis has ever known.

it is quite a lengthy story but totally worth it. i adore louis’ fierce determination in this! 

We Both Got Nothing to Hide

E | 43k 

“Talk to me, Lou.”

“I can’t,” Louis mumbled, knowing he genuinely couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to what he was doing. “Don’t ask me to say it, because I can’t.”

“Then… I’ll try and guess. You’ve… got some stuff of Harry’s. Something of his to make it smell like him?”

Louis just nodded, eyes fixated on the floor. This was humiliating, but he knew Zayn wouldn’t stop until he found out what was going on.

“Okay. Like… a blanket, or a comforter or something?”

“Kind of…”

//

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

personal favorite because i have a soft spot for nesting. but i love the relationship between the two and it’s. so. fluffy i could melt.

lemon eyes

E | 50k

It's not proper for omegas to mess around with alphas before finding their bondmate. But Harry doesn't give a damn what's proper and fully intends on getting as much experience as he can before even trying to find one. As far as he's concerned, the right alpha won't care, and he'll have some fun on the way.

And who better to start with than Louis Tomlinson, the alpha with the worst reputation on campus?

ah yes a fic where Louis is an alpha and both are versatile?? wack. anyways, the smut in this is awesome and harry’s an idiot. what’s new?? (jkjk)

A Taste of Desire

E | 104k | @casuallyhl

“As forward as I have been with you this evening, I am also aware this dinner party isn’t the place to conduct business.” Mr. Tomlinson chuckles quietly to himself, shooting a subtle glance across the table towards their hostess. “And besides, I am sure our hostess would be horribly disappointed to learn that we went away this evening with a business agreement and not a mating one.”

Harry, who had been sipping his wine, coughs harshly at this. He splutters, unaccustomed to such blatant statements about mating.

Mr. Tomlinson continues to laugh quietly, clearly pleased at Harry’s reaction.

“Mrs. Humphreys promised that there was an alpha attending the dinner tonight that I would certainly get on well with,” Mr. Tomlinson continues, voice teasing. “She assured me that we would have much in common since we both work with mills.” Mr. Tomlinson glances at Harry, eyes flashing with mirth. “Little did she know that would be where our mutual interests began and ended.”

Or, a Victorian ABO where Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.

one of my favorite historical AUs! i love how strong and opinionated Louis is and how Harry comes round to follow. 

Canyon Moon

E | 40k | @eeveelou

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

disney AUs are the shit! i’ve got a small love for werewolf fics and this is one of my favorites. love how this takes the story of lion king for a spin.

Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds

M | 38k | @2tiedships2

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

Or the one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

i love how just sappy and sweet this is, like there are just hearts pouring out of my eyes as i read this. also broadway!

*updated 2/15/21*

#fic recs #ao3 #in no particular order #abo fics #hl

[dalekofchaos]

Killing The New Republic and Luke’s New Jedi Order killed the Sequel Trilogy

Disney you’re a business, who’s all about money, but then you chose to destroy the New Jedi Order and New Republic, that is definitely killing your billions, even after refusing to put storytelling first and foremost, and then having the audacity to claim “we don’t have source material” never mind the countless series of video games, comics, novels, tv shows and films, merchandising etc. Not to mention all the fucking stuff you could’ve done with the NR in BATTLEFRONT! YOU COULD HAVE MADE WITH THE NEW REPUBLIC AND NEW JEDI ORDER!

But no. Instead you made Leia an incompetent general leading an even weaker  and an on the budget Rebel Alliance. Han’s character arc was dropped, Han and Leia’s iconic romance was broken up and they were both turned into absent parents and Luke’s Jedi Order failed and 30 years of peace was undone pointlessly. But instead you just wanted Rebels vs Empire 2.0, but only this time around it’s dumber. 

Do you know what we could’ve done with The New Republic? Leia as Chancellor. Han and Lando as her Ministers of Defense. Boba Fett, Din Djarin and Bo-Katan leading The Mandalorians together as allies to the New Republic. We could’ve had a House Of Cards/West Wing/Game Of Thrones styled writing for the overall politics of The New Republic. You could’ve made a goddamn fortune on New Republic troopers, armor, weapons, fighters and frigates. Hell, you could even have The New Republic wield their own Star Defenders as opposed to Star Destroyers.  I am well aware that canon demilitarized The New Republic and already made a post on why disarming the New Republic in new canon was stupid.

What should have happened is that the NR commanders the Imperial Fleet and starts protecting systems who join the NR, all while chasing down and fighting any of the Remnants (Moffs, Warlords, Crime Lords, etc) who have grabbed power in the resulting vacuum. We could have seen an evolution of ships from Old Republic to Empire to NR ones. They could have renamed Star Destroyers into Star Defenders. Hell, they could have had a Republic of independent systems, each with their own sizable military, so that power isn't centralized.

Here is what the Sequel Trilogy could’ve been with the New Republic in power.

This could have been an interesting question for the ST. What happens after you win a war? How do you not make the same mistakes or become the thing you fought. What happens in a power vacuum? The NR should have been the dominant emerging power, and the Remnant should have been a small, secretive, unknown order, striking strategically from the UR where they hid, and causing fear and panic to spread in the NR. But no, instead of telling an interesting story, we are force fed the recycled poorly written rehashed Rebels vs Empire and the Rebels are made to be weaker than The First Order. The First Order are a terrorist movement, they should not be reigning after Hosnian Prime’s destruction, ESPECIALLY AFTER LOSING STARKILLER BASE! Concentrating your government and defenses around only one system is really stupid(AND BAD FUCKING WRITING) The New Republic’s forces should have been spread far across the galaxy. So after Hosnian Prime, The New Republic  sees the bigger picture and mobilizes their fleet and unites their forces with The Resistance. Instead The New Republic is stupidly destroyed because Rian wanted the Rebels to be the Rebels again.(lol this movie is fucking dumb) God forbid we get The New Republic fighting the First Order and making the heroes looking strong in force instead of stupidly having all the Rebels fit inside the Falcon. For the love of fucking god I hate this fucking timeline.

As for The Imperial Remnant. Thrawn, and Rae Sloane would lead the fleets and  Darth Plagueis and the Knights Of Ren would would be in command of the dark side.

Do you have any idea how fucking frustrated it was to play The Battlefront games with The Resistance who are just discount Rebels? They look fucking pathetic.

JUST LOOK AT THE NEW REPUBLIC IN THE MANDALORIAN!!!!!!!! SO MUCH POTENTIAL!

Oh and just look at the NR Troopers from Legends and fan concepts

SO. MUCH. POTENTIAL!

As for the New Jedi Order.

Ya’ll were sitting on a GOLDMINE with the New Jedi Order. You murdered the goose which laid thegolden egg. Imagine proper video games, novels, animations, films in that era.  Think about all of the unique characters and designs we could’ve seen, all the unique toys they could have sold, plus they could’ve centered Galaxy’s Edge around becoming a Jedi, building your own lightsaber, and undergoing training at Luke’s academy. I know they have a lightsaber-building thing there currently, but it would’ve made a lot more sense if they could’ve tied it in to the new trilogy with the New Jedi Order. Plus, Mark Hamill was the only one of the major OT actors who was willing to continually reprise his role well into the future, and they reduced Luke’s role to a cameo in 2/3 sequel movies and ruined his character and killed him off in the other one. They could’ve kept Luke around for several more decades and thrown him in to as many TV series, video games, and movies as they wanted to, and people would’ve flocked to see or purchase whatever he’s in, because it’s freaking Luke Skywalker. Destroying the New Jedi Order offscreen and ruining and killing off Luke Skywalker were the two dumbest decisions made with the sequel trilogy. They could’ve made BILLIONS off of this stuff. The continued pre-trilogy and post-trilogy stories, the toys, the merchandising, the video games, the books and comics, everything. What makes matters worse is that as I said, Mark Hamill was the only one who wanted to continue with his role,( Also he is an accomplished voice actor so he would have done well in the animated stuff, which also gives him opportunities to do action scenes without being young) he honestly probably would’ve been willing to reprise Luke up until he was in his 80s or even into his 90s, hell, Billy Dee Williams was just over 80 when he reprised Lando in TROS, and Luke wouldn’t even need an action-heavy role as he got older, as the Grandmaster of the New Jedi Order, he’d be able to have a similar role to Yoda in the prequels and The Clone Wars, where he provides wisdom and guidance the majority of the time, but he every once in a while he steps into battle, while the new characters go on the vast majority of the adventures. They really shit the bed with these new movies, because using the New Jedi Order with Luke as Grandmaster would’ve made them BILLIONS. I truly don’t understand how such a money-hungry corporation could’ve missed out on this, because using the NJO would’ve been like printing money. It’s genuinely baffling.

We could’ve had it all

Source

Source

For story purposes. It could’ve been like this. 

Luke starts to rebuild the Jedi by training his sister Leia. Leia could not fully commit to the Jedi because she had to lead the Republic as Chancellor, but she is made an honorary member on his Jedi Council. Leia would agree to be trained as a Jedi Master. Leia has a Yellow Lightsaber she keeps hidden should the moment arises. Leia’s most powerful force ability is Battle Meditation. After training Leia, Luke eventually encountered The Emperor’s Hand Mara Jade. Their dynamic and romance would be the same as in Legends. Eventually after Ezra Bridger returns, Ahsoka Tano, Cal Kestis, and Ezra Bridger return and join Luke’s Jedi order. The Jedi council would be this. Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Mara Jade, Ahsoka Tano, Cal Kestis and Ezra Bridger. The new Jedi Order embrace both the Light and Dark Sides Of The Force instead of repeating the mistakes of the Jedi of old and so balance can be brought to the force. Balance would mean understanding both aspects of the force and you can indulge in your anger and more toxic emotions, but you can’t let them rule you and when you can come to peace with that, that’s when you have balance.

Also, Luke’s Jedi order would include multiple aliens species from Wookies, Twi'leks, Iridonians, Trandoshans, Mirialan and you get the picture. 

Finn would be a mix of Kyle Katarn and Finn Galfridian.

For those not familiar with either character. Kyle Katarn, a self taught force sensitive who was a former Imperial Stormtrooper that later became a Jedi Master, Battlemaster and a Jedi Council member. Finn Galfridian, a Jedi who is from Royal background and is part of the New Jedi Order who was being taught by Luke Skywalker Finn could still be a Stormtrooper that chose empathy and to walk away, this results in Finn becoming Force Sensitive and brought to be trained by Grogu. We would later find out that Finn is a lost prince of Royalty stolen by The Imperial Remnant. Perhaps, in this scenario. Finn could be the lost Prince of Naboo. Finn would of course continue fighting in the war, but with Artorias on the New Republic’s side, they will gave more funding and at least another ally. It would also provide Finn the ability to have a home for the Stormtroopers after Finn liberates the Stormtroopers from the Remnant. Finn could allow the Stormtroopers that still want to fight to serve in the Naboo military. The Naboo having weak defenses could greatly benefit from having trained soldiers serve them and if the Stormtroopers would prefer a peaceful life, Finn can offer them a civilian lifestyle away from the judgment the rest of the galaxy would give them for their past, even offering them reparations.

Also, Finn would find love with best damn pilot in The New Republic, Poe Dameron!

Luke and Mara would have a daughter. Kira Jade Skywalker(who of course would be Rey) she would grow up loved, with her family and with the Jedi. They would all truly be With her. 

Ben Solo, Breha Solo(Played by Billie Lourd) and Jaina Solo(played by Millie Bobby Brown) would be the Solo children. Ben, Breha, and Jaina would all grow up close and would thrive as Jedi while their parents would visit and shower them with the love they would naturally receive from Han and Leia as their parents and Han and Leia would stand strong together leading The New Republic

You could have Ben Solo being the most promising of Luke’s Jedi Knights. He can either stay as a Jedi or choose The Imperial Remnant and become Kylo Ren. The Jedi Order is split between the Jedi loyal to Luke and those loyal to Ben. I will say Ben’s fall would be similar to Jacen’s. Because he sensed something terrible coming. The Grysk. He feels that the Jedi and the NR would not be enough. So he gives in to Darth Plagueis and leads the Knights Of Ren. But when The Grysk attack, Ben shows us his true colors and returns to his family to fight The Grysk and unites both The New Republic and Remnant. 

If Ben doesn’t turn to the dark side, Ben would stay true to the Jedi and his family. Ben would lead the Jedi to face the Knights Of Ren and destroy Plagueis.

Together Kira, Ben, Breha, Jaina and Finn would rise together and destroy Darth Plagueis and end the Sith once and for all.

But that’s not the end, because The Grysk would invade the galaxy.

Towards the end of the Trilogy, The NR and FO will join forces to fend off The Grysk invasion. Sloane will call for a cease fire and signing a treaty with Leia, where The NR and FO align their forces and build The Galactic Federation. Building a better galaxy together. Leia's vision for a Republic and Sloane's virtues for the Empire.

We get the legacy characters getting treated with respect, we get the new generation built upon and being prepared for the coming war and are all treated as important heroes, we have a FO treated like strong villains and a stronger threat to unite both forces and we have peace in the end. This is how I think the ST should have been handled.

The theme should’ve been family. It’s about how the Skywalkers and Solos lead and protect the galaxy. How well Han, Luke and Leia became after the fall of the Empire and the upbringing of their children. It should end with all is well with the Skywalker and Solo families. Not end in misery.

As Carrie Fisher said

“It’s about family. And that’s what makes it so powerful.”

We could’ve had it all.

#Luke Skywalker #Finnpoe #Anti Lucasfilm #Anti Kathleen Kennedy #Anti Disney #Anti JJ Abrams #Anti Rian Johnson

[kohakhearts]

for the prompt thing; i can't shut up about gureshin and i feel rly guilty LOL but...... going to/sneaking into a pool late at night, playful fighting turning into quiet floating, reminiscing, enjoying each other's presence

alternatively OR additionally:

hot summer evening stroll turned heated, teaasing, prompting for more intimacy than they can have in public, mischievous glances, promising touches, the thrill of being in love and intensely attracted to each other whether they're alone or with friends

send me 1 or more character (+ a prompt, if you like) and i'll write a short fic!

wc: 1 062

They’re calling it a heatwave.

That is, Guren says, when it’s so hot out the temperature barely drops in the night. Shinya thinks, No shit, but is frankly too hot to verbalize it. It’s not so horrible, really; it just makes him yearn for December’s frigid caress all the more than usual.

Guren doesn’t seem to hate it much himself, oddly enough. He’s never dressed for the weather, but Shinya can’t recall a time he’s ever complained much about it. Well, it would be admitting a weakness, and Guren can’t do that, can he?

The thing is, it’s hot out. And Guren has never had to admit his weaknesses for Shinya to see them.

The habit of evening walks is one they picked up who-knows how long ago. When they were kids, Shinya used to do this with Mahiru sometimes. In his worst moments, he imagines asking Guren if they do this because of her. In his best, he knows Guren wouldn’t tell him so even if it were the truth.

Besides, that’s all in the past. The past isn’t good for much these days. It’s easier to just pretend there is something kinder in the future and move on. It’s not like any of them knows; they’re just as lost as they were eleven years ago.

Today, however, Shinya decides it is too hot for a walk.

“Let’s go swimming,” he suggests when they are midway down the trail they walk every Thursday night.

“What?”

“Swimming,” he repeats. “There’s a pool near here, did you know?”

“We can’t go swimming.”

“Sure we can.”

Guren glances over at him, exasperated. “We haven’t got swimsuits, idiot.”

Shinya purses his lips. Without missing even one step, he slips his bag from his shoulders and holds it open between them. Guren peers down, then comes to a skidding halt.

“You’re kidding me.”

“Not even one bit.” Shinya has stopped a few steps ahead of him, so sends his grin back over his shoulder. “Really, Guren. When was the last time you did something fun?”

“This is fun.”

“No, it’s not.”

Guren sighs. If he had really believed, even for a second, that Shinya was wrong, he would still be arguing. Instead, he just looks tired.

“It’s late,” he points out. “Everywhere will be closed.”

“Great,” Shinya says. “Then that means it’s free, doesn’t it? C’mon, I think I know where this place is.”

He doesn’t give Guren time to protest. And though he is scowling when he catches up to Shinya, the fact remains that he is following. That’s the part that really matters.

The pool in question is not a discovery of his own. Mito told him about it back in June. She doesn’t like swimming anymore—says her hair is too long—but even she admitted it was quite nice. Outdoor, surrounded by tall but shock-free metal fences. Well, she didn’t say that. Shinya figured it out for himself, some weeks later. Still, he’s never climbed them. He didn’t have a reason to.

This evening, he does.

Guren blanches at the sight. “You expect me to climb this?”

“You’ve done harder things,” Shinya says idly. “I’ll know you’re really a coward if you back out now, though.”

With that, he begins to climb. Guren grumbles something under his breath, but follows after him. If there is one thing Guren dislikes more than exposing his weaknesses, after all, it is being called out for having them. It’s a wonder he’s able to sleep at night with a pride that big weighing on his chest.

Once they are safely on the other side, Shinya hands him the bag and tells him to change. The building’s doors are locked, so Shinya turns around and counts out a full minute—or tries to, at least. He is interrupted around thirty-six by Guren snapping, “Shut up, or I’ll push you into the pool.”

“Unfair, when you’re the one with the swimsuit.”

But Guren does give him a chance to change into his own.

And then he pushes him in the pool.

Shinya was expecting it, really. When Guren slips in after him, he grabs his ankle and pulls until his head falls beneath the water. He comes up and splashes with a mighty sense of vengeance, so Shinya responds in kind. It is nice. It is cool. By the time the sun is nearly obscured completely by the horizon, the vicious summer heat has been long forgotten.

Guren won’t say so, but Shinya can tell his shoulders are more relaxed than they were. It probably doesn’t have much to do with the heat, though.

“Okay.” Shinya finally holds his hands up. “I surrender. You win.”

“You want to go home?”

He won’t point out the disappointment in Guren’s tone, either.

“No,” Shinya says easily. “Let’s stay here for a while. Just stop splashing me, would you?”

Guren splashes him. The bastard.

But Shinya does not retaliate this time. He leans up against the edge of the pool and tilts his head back to see the first stars dusting over expansive indigo. He points up at them.

“Nice view from here. Kinda weird, after living in the city for so long.”

Guren settles at his side. His gaze trails up and past Shinya’s hand. “Yeah,” he mutters. “Guess it kinda is.”

Shinya’s arm falls down again. If his fingers brush against Guren’s arm intentionally, or it is just a mistake of his close proximity, neither of them will say so.

What Guren does say, to Shinya’s surprise, is “Thank you.”

He glances over at him, half-expecting a mouthful of water. But all that meets his eyes is Guren’s solemn gaze, darkened by the encroaching night.

“I forget sometimes,” he adds. Simply, like Shinya will know what he’s talking about.

And he does. That’s the whole point.

Shinya’s lips twitch. He swipes his hand across the water and throws some of it up at Guren’s chest. He says, “We’re not old yet.”

Guren’s own hand falls over top of Shinya’s. He does not speak. He does not splash back.

His fingers wrap around it. Tighten.

“I know,” he says, and Shinya hears what he means: You reminded me.

Shinya doesn’t pull his hand back. Guren never asks him too. The stars grow stark against twilight’s banner, refracted beneath the surface of the still water. Time ticks on.

They let it.

#*reqs #*fic #mine #gureshin #shingure #owari no seraph #sorry this isnt exactly what you asked for i tried to mix the two and...idk what i even wound up with LOL #in my head this is like SOMEHOW post-canon but the world is kinda normalish. dont ask me how bc i do not know

[writingbeary]

Kingdom - Pre-episode

────────── ♔ ──────────

ATEEZ was seated around a table for a Kingdom shoot for a pre-episode. They weren’t told what they’ll be doing but they figured that it will probably be an interview before the show. Minyoung followed Seonghwa and sat beside him and San, usually she would have sat beside Hongjoong but seeing as the leader was sitting at the edges and near the camera, she opted to sit farther.

“I wonder what we’ll do today.” Minyoung mumbled as she made herself comfortable, leaning on Seonghwa’s shoulder while waiting for the staff to finish setting up.

Seonghwa patted her head smiling “I’m not sure but they said we’ll be watching something.”

“Oh? Were you fired by Minyoung as her pillow?” Wooyoung teased Yunho as he noticed the girl leaning on Seonghwa, making Yunho laugh and play along saying“I wasn’t told I got fired? I demand an explanation. Since when were you planning to hire a replacement?”

“Mhm. Seonghwa-oppa lets me hug him whenever and I feel neglected lately since you have to practice for your drama.” Minyoung put on her saddest acting face, making everyone laugh. It has been a running joke in the group that whenever Minyoung goes to find Yunho it only means one thing: she is sleepy and wants someone to cuddle.

They continued on with their chatter until the production staff asked them to hit the slate, everyone fixing their posture and focusing as the staff explained what they’ll be filming today.

“Top 3 videos? I wonder which videos are included. Would it include San-oppa’s fancam?” Minyoung asked looking to her left at the person in question

“I doubt it. Maybe our debut?” San shrugged

“We’ve done many performances on MCountdown, but <HALA HALA> might be..” Wooyoung started as everyone agreed.

“That’s true. Our fans liked our <HALA HALA> performances and outfits.” Yunho added in agreement

“Or the performance that we’ve done with SF9-sunbaenim?” Hongjoong suggested

Minyoung hummed before talking “Won’t it be our first win stage? Out of all our stages so far, I think they’ll like that one and it’s on MCountdown too.”

[The 3rd highest video of each team is?]

[ATEEZ <Say My Name> 2019.01.17 MCountdown]

“Hongjoong-hyung looks like a baby!” Wooyoung commented as Minyoung giggled nodding.

“Ah. The clothes with fur were so hot.” Yunho laughed remembering how they were all drenched in sweat after every recording

Wooyoung added as pointing towards the video “At that time, all the clothes were so heavy.”

“But Minyoung enjoyed those fur jackets and used them as pillows.” San laughed, teasing the girl

“Ah. That time. I was also filming for the drama and had to go straight from music show recording to drama filming. So I sleep whenever I can.” Minyoung reasoned out

“What are you saying? You still sleep whenever you can now.” at that Minyoung slapped San’s arm lightly pouting but laughed in agreement.

As they watch the whole performance, Jongho commented seeing his part on the screen “This was the first album as soon as Minyoung and I turned 20. We’re still quite a baby. We haven’t even had out graduation yet.” making Yunho and Wooyoung crack up

“You two are still babies. It’s just been two years ago.” Hongjoong piped up, making the two youngest members just laugh at the thought

“I shouldn’t say our concept is cute but...” Yunho started as he laughed seeing how they look on the video, looking real young and dressed in puffy fur coats.

“That stage. It was the first time to feel fire.” Seonghwa pointed out as the fireworks on their performance went out

“The heat sparkled on the head!” Yunho nodded

“Minyoung actually got a bit scared during the rehearsals saying there may be a fire.” Seonghwa chuckled as he felt the girl look at him in disbelief as if betrayed.

“I really thought someone could get hurt! I could feel it on my head and I’m already smaller than everyone.” Minyoung said defending herself. “and it was the first time we had fireworks from above.”

After watching the video, they all talked about the memorable parts of Say My Name promotions sharing some stories with the staff.

“This song was the best in letting everyone know us. Because we kept on saying our name.” Hongjoong concluded as everyone agreed

“Mhm. It repeats in your head when you hear it. Say my name, say my name, say my name~” Minyoung nodded as she sang a bit of the song

“But this is interesting, watching our old videos together.” Seonghwa commented chuckling.

“I wonder what the other two videos are. If this was the first one then maybe we’re completely wrong in our guesses” Hongjoong nodded as he pressed play on the second video.

[The second videos is... ATEEZ <Wonderland> 2019.10.10 MCountdown]

Hongjoong surprised as Wonderland played “<Wonderland>?”

Everyone explaimed in surprise and commenting how long it took to film this performance to achieve the final effect for the show.

“It’s almost like a music video.” Seonghwa commented

“This stage where we had the compass and Minyoung was in the center got viral too. Atiny called it as Alice in Wonderland.” Wooyoung pointed at the screen as he remembered the detail

“Ahh I remember. I remember.” Minyoung nodded and laughing at the memory “My brother also called me to ask why my photos were trending as Alice in Wonderland when I’ve been using my Korean name.”

“One thing I know for sure, after we watched Say My Name...we look better here.” San piped in with others in agreement. They were all satisfied with their stage outfits for Wonderland.

Yeosang who has been quiet throughout the shoot spoke, “Atiny especially loved Minyoung during this comeback.” 

Minyoung tilted her head, wondering “I didn’t really have many lines though, but I did have center position during the last chorus.”

Suddenly Seonghwa’s part played and he immediately commented “The best chorus ever” making both Wooyoung and Minyoung look at him ready to tease him

“It’s the best part because you came out?” Wooyoung laugh teasingly with Seonghwa denying it hurriedly.

Wooyoung continued “You said that as soon as you came out.” then Yunho adding in “He didn’t say that for my part in Verse 1″ having fun teasing their oldest member.

“Wasn’t this the performance where Minyoung cried?” Jongho asked suddenly remembering it when Minyoung’s part in the song came

“Me?” Minyoung looked at him confused

“Ah! It is. As soon as we went down backstage, she was tearing up saying her in-ear fell off during her dance and was worrying if the last part got ruined.” Wooyoung nodded remembering it too

“Ahh. I really thought I ruined the performance. I couldn’t hear myself but since we were recording live, I just continued singing.” Minyoung explained pouting “I was really thinking I’m so screwed and was so nervous when we were monitoring our stage after.” Seonghwa patted the girl’s back as if to give reassurance.

“The thing is <Wonderland> wasn’t out original title song for this album. <Answer> was supposed to be the title song for this album. But everyone agreed to use <Wonderland> instead.” Hongjoong giving some insight on the story behind the song

“I thought <Wonderland> suit better for our full album.” Yunho nodding in agreement

“But if <Wonderland> was our 2nd top video, will Wave even come out?” Minyoung wondered out loud as the check the final video.

[The Top 1 video is... ATEEZ <Wonderland> 2019.10.31 MCountdown]

“Yah. The Halloween version is higher than the original one!” Hongjoong exclaimed laughing

[The youngest team’s top 1 video is Halloween Version <Wonderland>]

“Wonderland even with this concept?” Seonghwa asked curiously as their top 2 video was also Wonderland. “We really worked hard for this performance. We all opened our eyes wide.”

“We just saw the original stage but this is really different.” Hongjoong laughing as the dance break played

“We danced differently as well.” Yunho added in as he danced a bit in his seat “The choreography was changed a bit for this one. Like a zombie on purpose.”

San nodded chuckling as the watch the video “As if we didn’t have any bones”

“I get why people liked this one better than the original.” Minyoung acknowledged as she also finds this performance more interesting particularly after watching both versions back-to-back.

“We can really tell why people watched this one a lot. Like this halloween version, we need to make them watch our stage first to make them know us. So having a hot stage could be one way.” Hongjoong concluded with the others nodding in agreement. “Let’s prepare more stages like this one in the future.”

────────── ♔ ──────────

ATEEZ Minyoung Masterlist

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. Any portrayal of real people is a combination based on what we could see on cameras and imagination of the author. This is purely fan fiction written for fun. Thank you for understanding.

━━━━━━ʕ ˵• ₒ •˵ ʔ━━━━━━

Writing Beary Corner:

Kingdom episodes incoming! If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been excited to post these and have actually made this even before I wrote the earlier posts lol

-Mimi

10

#kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #ateez 9th member #ateez minyoung #ateez oc #ateez scenarios #ateez au #kpop imagines #park minyoung #writing beary #minyoung masterlist

[krreader]

tears of gold.

pairing: min yoongi x reader fandom: bts warnings: language ; no happy ending genre: angst word count: 1.9k+

summary: one moment. one decision. that’s all it took to ruin his future. yoongi always thought that if that ever happened it would have something to do with his career.. but no.. his career was fine. the rest of his life was what was broken now.

a/n: idk man, every time it’s a vague angst request like this I go off. not sure if that’s good or bad lol. anyways, I really hope you like it bb. (+ title inspired by this beauty)

Despite him sitting right next to you on the bed, you've never felt more alone in your life than right now.

Despite him having told you that he loved you just last night, you've never felt more unloved than right now.

Despite him wanting you to trust him completely, you've never felt more backstabbed by him than right now.

“You have to understand me, (Y/N),” is what he said, like that's what would make any of this any better, “How am I supposed to do this right now? Or.. anytime soon? I'm going on tour in less than a month and won't be back for a while and then when I'm finally back, I'll maybe have a break for a week or two before going back to work. How do you.. expect me to..-” Yoongi let out a frustrated sigh and put his face in his hands, his elbows on his knees.

You haven't said a word during all this, just looked at him in disbelief, disappointment, frustration.. sadness.

This wasn't how you had imagined your life to go either, this wasn't on your agenda anytime soon either, but it had happened and now you had to deal with the consequences.

Both of you.

The positive pregnancy test in your shaking hands was the proof of that.

“I'm sorry,” he finally said again and straightened his back as he shook his head, “I can't do it.”

The chances of becoming pregnant when taking the pill perfectly were so slim.. so why did it have to happen to him and you? Why did it have to happen to someone who really couldn't handle a child right now, who couldn't be a father and.. quite frankly.. didn't want to be a father right now.

But Yoongi was selfish in this moment and he didn't even realize it.

All he thought about was the child and himself.

He not once thought about you. About what this meant for you.

Because he wasn't the only one with a career.

You had worked your ass off these last years to achieve your goals and dreams and were finally at a point in life that you were happy with.. well.. everything. A stable job, a stable – or at least you thought – relationship and amazing chances of your life getting even better with the years to come.

But none of that seemed to matter to him, in that moment, he only cared about himself.

Suddenly, he got up and wanted to make his way out of your bedroom like it was easy for him to walk away from this.

However, he stopped when you finally spoke, for the first time since you told him you were expecting his baby.

“You walk out of this door, Yoongi, I'm never going to give you a second chance. You leave me alone with this child and I promise you, you will never be a father for this baby,” your hands trembled, but your voice was firm because you meant it. You were scared shitless, but you’d rather be raising this child on your own than with someone who didn’t want it in the first place.

You had hoped this little speech might change his mind.. after all, you've been with each other for almost four years now and he had more often than not told you that he wanted this to last forever.

But the idea of a child right then and there scared him so much that he just ignored your words, maybe even thought you weren’t serious, but god, you were.

“I'm sorry,” he repeated once again, looking at you from over his shoulder, “I really am,” his voice broke.

And then he left.

And all you could do was stare after the closed door before you completely broke down, allowing yourself to be vulnerable once he was gone and lying back down on your bed, clutching the pregnancy test against your chest while tears streamed down your cheek.

You were alone in this.

Completely and utterly alone.

And that scared the living shit out of you, even if you wanted and tried to be strong.

Single mother before the baby was even born.. wonderful.

Yoongi watched the rain drops run down the window of the car as they were driving to the venue, his fingertips tracing them like he was mesmerized by them, lost in his own little world in that moment

“So, hyung,” Jimin said with a huge smile, leaning forward a little to talk to the driver, “I heard your wife had her baby?”

Yoongi instantly looked up, ripped from his daydream when he heard that sentence.

“Yeah,” the driver grinned happily from ear to ear, like he was the proudest man on this planet. It hurt Yoongi. Badly, “It's a girl! Can you believe it? I have a baby girl now!”

Everyone in the car congratulated him, told him how happy they were for him..

..all but Yoongi.

He could just stare at the driver through the rear-view mirror, before looking down at his phone and opening his KakaoTalk, scrolling down until he could find your chat.

He gulped down hard as he scrolled up and up and up.. only to read his own messages again like so many days before.

“Please talk to me, (Y/N). I know I made a mistake..”

“Can you please call me? Just call me, whenever you can.”

“Can you at least tell me if you and the baby are okay? Please..”

“I regret it.. so much, (Y/N). If I could turn back time, I would. I shouldn't have left you alone, I shouldn't have abandoned you. I'm sorry..”

“You moved.. I went to your place, but your landlord said you moved. Can you please tell me your new address? I want to send you some stuff.. that's the least I can do. Money, clothes, whatever you need..”

“It’s been nine months now.. please say something, (Y/N). Tell me you’re both okay..”

None of these were ever answered or read and they were only a few of the thousand that he had sent over the course of the last year.

At this point, he knew that he was a father too.. but nobody else knew that.

He hadn't told any of his members, anyone from his company or anyone from his family. 

Why?

Because he was ashamed of himself.

Ashamed of how he just left you in a moment such as this one, how he completely spit on the relationship and trust that you had built in all these years and how he just didn’t take responsibility for something that he had a part in as well.

If he told anyone, especially his parents, they’d never call him their son again.

“I hope I'll be a dad too eventually,” Namjoon said with a happy smile as he looked at Yoongi, “What about you, hyung? You never really talk about having kids..”

Yoongi quickly turned his phone around, then looked at Namjoon, only to open and close his mouth again.

What answer should he even give him?

No, he had never really thought about having kids, not before you told him that you were pregnant. Then, right after, he had thought he had done the right choice. He truly thought that he didn't want to have children. But the more time passed, the more he yearned for that life. The more he wished he had done things differently.. if so, he would now have a wife and child at home waiting for him.

Instead, he'd come home from this world tour to an empty house full of regrets.

A grim future..

“We're here.. come on boys, let's go,” the manager said once the car stopped, Yoongi being eternally grateful for the arrival, so that he didn't have to answer Namjoon's question.

Hoseok had watched the conversation quietly from the back of the car, his eyes never leaving Yoongi's back as he walked into the venue with slumped shoulders.

Everyone else was running inside because of the rain but him.

He got completely soaked, yet it seemed like he didn't even care, like he didn't even process it. Like his mind was somewhere else completely.

Hoseok didn't know why now, why today, but maybe it was the conversation with the driver that made him think about the whole thing again.

The thing that Yoongi thought nobody knew about.

“Hyung.. can we talk?” Yoongi looked up at Hoseok with furrowed brows, but then got out of the make-up chair and followed the younger member.

He led him into an empty room, a meeting room from the looks of it and then closed the door behind him once Yoongi was inside.

“Sit.”

“What is this?” Yoongi snorted, “Whatever it is you want to say, we could have just talked in front of the others.”

Nothing had happened between Hoseok and Yoongi, so he must have assumed that whatever it was that Hoseok wanted to say to him wouldn’t be serious.

When Yoongi didn't want to sit, Hoseok just leaned against the table and crossed his arms in front of his chest, lowering his head a little, “I didn't know whether or not I should tell you about this in the first place, since I figured that it was none of my business, but I see you with this look on this face more and more so.. I need to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

Hoseok looked out the window for a moment, then he looked into Yoongi's eyes, “I ran into (Y/N) right before we left for tour.”

Yoongi instantly froze.

Thousands of thoughts and questions shot into his mind. Why did he see you? Did he talk to you? Did you two meet up? Did he see the baby?

“Imagine how surprised I was when she stood there with a baby stroller. You never told us why you two broke up, so I just imagined that maybe you didn't want to tell us about it because you were ashamed. When I saw her with the baby I thought she cheated and ended up pregnant,” Hoseok cocked his head to the side, “But you’ve been acting weird and it all started when you two broke up. You see a child and you get all sad, you hear someone mention their child, you get lost in thought. So, hyung.. be honest,” Hoseok took a step forward, then another, getting so close that Yoongi had to lower his head because of how ashamed he became, “Fuck.. it’s your baby, isn’t it?”

Yoongi's jaw began to clench, suddenly feeling like Hoseok was putting him on the spot, like he was blaming him just like Yoongi was blaming himself.

“Yeah.. I figured. Makes sense now.. why you were so depressed again after you’ve worked so hard on overcoming it. Why you felt so bad about yourself. Why you become sad every time you see a child. Jesus, hyung..”

Hoseok didn't know what else to say to him, he was so disappointed in him that he would do this to you that he just wanted to leave right then and there. It was almost as if looking at him repulsed him.

But Yoongi had one question before he could do so.

“Is it.. a boy or a girl?” his eyes were wide when he turned around to look at Hoseok.

“A girl. It's a girl,” he said without looking at him.

But before his hand could even reach the handle, the door got opened.

“There you are,” their manager was suddenly standing in the door way, looking completely out of breath, “What the hell are you doing in here? We need to get you ready, come on!”

Yoongi didn't have a lot of time to think about it after that, make-up and hair took a while and before he knew it, he was already on stage again, performing in front of thousands like he usually did.

He was keeping it together and was actually rather doing a good job at it because his mind couldn’t focus on what it wanted to focus on.

He was caught up in the screams and cheers and for a moment it seemed like everything was fine again.

But once the concert was over and once they started waving their goodbye's to ARMY's and his eyes fell onto Hoseok, it all came flooding back.

“A girl. It's a girl,” it echoed in his ears.

Yoongi had a daughter. A beautiful baby girl that he didn’t know anything about. Was she healthy? What eye color did she have? Did she have a lot of hair? Was she eating enough? Sleeping enough?

And what about you? Were you okay? Did you manage with her on your own? Were you happy nowadays? Stressed or anxious?

Yoongi had no answer to these questions, because he abandoned both of you when he had the chance to still be with you.

And once again, he blamed himself for everything.

And then in front of hundreds of thousands, he broke down. Fully. He was on his knees, sobbing his eyes out and wishing he could turn back time.

He wished he could change how he had reacted. That he had just pulled you close when you were so scared about the baby and told you that everything would be okay and that you'd be in this together. That he’d be by your side throughout everything and that whatever obstacles you would face, you would face together.

He wished he had been there when you had gone into labor and that he could have held his newborn daughter. He wished he had been able to smile at you and tell you that he loved you and was proud of you.

But this wasn’t a Disney movie and wishes didn’t suddenly become true just because you really wanted them to.

This was reality.

And the reality was that he’d never get a second chance.

He fucked up.. and there was no going back.

#bts imagine #bts x reader #min yoongi x reader #suga x reader #min yoongi imagine #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #suga imagine #bangtan boys #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #min yoongi #suga #yoongi #reader #requests

[holidaywishes]

the truth

part nine: the truth

  Requested: 🙅‍♀️

  Summary: “I ended things because I hated being your second-choice, I hated sharing you with this city, I hated not having an identity aside from... you. And honestly, I think you like it that way...”

  Warning: angst, some fluff

  Author’s Note: As I was looking over this series, I realized the last time I wrote for it was the beginning of the Pandemic. Literally, it was like March 25th, 2020. I keep trying to find time to add to it, or to finish it, but never get a chance; until now. I’m making myself do it and it’s a big reason why my requests are closed. I have three chapters planned and they’re all gonna be pretty angsty with some fluff thrown in for the hell of it. I’m curious to know how many people want this to end happily and how many people want it to end... “realistically” i.e. with more angst than fluff; so I created a poll! Have fun and let me know what you think! I’m hoping that I can get this out before my birthday because it’s been more than a year and I’m ready to move on to other fics lol. Enjoy! Stay Golden, loves! <3

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

  You would be lying to yourself if you said you hadn’t spent the last week thinking about what you and Brendan had talked about; how your ideas of marriage didn’t seem to match up anymore. There was a few days when the conversations the two of you had would hover around superficial topics, like the weather or his practices or what either of you wanted for supper, and you knew it was so you would just avoid bringing up the truth

  “So...” he finally said one Sunday afternoon and you felt yourself prepare yourself for the inevitable conversation, furrowing your brows when he kept it to small talk, “what are the plans for today?”

  “Nothing in particular...” you sighed, “got any ideas?”

  “Wanna go out for dinner?” he asked, not looking up from the paper he was reading. He never read the paper and you weren’t sure why he was starting now

  “Like a date night?” you prompted and he finally looked up, giving you a smirk

  “Yeah,” he replied, “like a date night. How does that sound?”

  “I mean,” you smiled, sitting back in your seat, “yeah that sounds great. Where are we going?”

  “That one in the Birks Hotel? With the Stained Glass?” he said, trying to think of the name

  “Henri Brasserie?” you questioned

  “HENRI BRASSERIE! That’s it” he exclaimed

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah... why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Every time we walk past, you kinda.. scoff at it”

  “I do not” he countered and you raised your eyebrows at him

  “Yes. You do”

  “Well, I think it would be a nice place for a date night. Plus, we’ve never been”

  “Yeah, that’s true,” you added, “alright! What time?”

  “6”

  “It’s almost 4 now!” you exclaimed

  “Yeah?” he said dumbly and you scoffed hastily before making your way to the bedroom to pick an outfit, “(Y/N)? Babe?” he called

  “I have to get ready...” you replied and he laughed 

  “You have tons of time!”

  “STOP!” you laughed in a small panic, “I’m going to take a shower!”

xx

Brendan’s P.O.V

  You shook your head as (Y/N) rushed around trying to get ready, jumping into the shower quickly while you stayed downstairs in the kitchen.

  “Bonjour, Henri Brasserie, comment puis-je vous aider aujourd'hui?” a voice asked when they picked up on the other line

  “Bonjour,” you started, switching to English quickly, “I know it’s last minute but I’m hoping to make a reservation for two, tonight, at 6?”

  “Oh,” the voice said, clearly baffled at the last minute request, “uhm.. let me see”

  “I really appreciate it,” you said, looking up the stairs to make sure (Y/N) was still in the shower, “I’m planning to propose tonight”

  “Congratulations!” the voice exclaimed

  “Merci” you smiled to yourself

  “Oh, wow,” she scoffed, surprised, “someone just cancelled their reservation, for 6:15 tonight”

  “Perfect!”

  “Can I just grab a name for the reservation?”

  “Brendan,” you said, “Last name, Gallagher” you heard them gasp and you had to hold back a chuckle

  “Monsieur Gallagher,” they started, “I’m so sorry. I’m such a fan, I should’ve recognized your voice...”

  “Don’t worry,” you smiled, “I’m happy you were able to find a table for us”

  “Is there anything special you would like? We are so honoured you have chosen us for your proposal tonight and we would love to be able to make the night as special as possible for you and your soon-to-be-fiancée”

  “If you could put us next to that big Stained Glass window that would be perfect,” you asked, hoping they could manage it, “and maybe have a bottle of your favourite Champagne ready for dessert?”

  “Of course!” they said excitedly, “we would be happy to do that. Anything you need”

  “Thank you,” you smiled again, blushing slightly, “but you don’t have to go out of your way. I don’t want to make anything difficult”

  “We will make it an unforgettable night, Monsieur”

  “Thank you. We’ll see you at 6″

  “See you then!” You imagined that as soon as you ended the call, they were frantically trying to get things sorted so that you had everything you needed and you just hoped it wasn’t too much for (Y/N), who you could now hear searching through her closet for a dress to wear

  “You’ll look beautiful in anything you choose” you flirted, heading to your closet to grab a suit

  “But this is a nice place, B, we should look nice”

  “And you will,” you replied, walking over to her after throwing your chosen suit on the bed, “because you look beautiful always.” You placed your arms around her waist as she continued to search her closet, kissing her cheek before leaving to get dressed, “I love you”

  “Love you, too” she smiled, turning around to plant a light kiss on your lips before she shooed you away. When the two of you finally got to the restaurant, you were welcomed quickly and (Y/N) smiled awkwardly before whispering to you, “you called this in last minute didn’t you?”

  “I would never. I always plan everything, to the smallest detail” you joked, nodded in appreciation to the hostess who showed you and (Y/N) to your table

  “Liar” she teased

  “Love you.”

xx

  The staff fell over him like he was made of gold and you could only laugh at how hard they were trying. The restaurant was beautiful and Brendan had managed to reserve the bay window where the stained glass stood; whether it was planned weeks in advance or just a few minutes, you were just happy to be out with him like this. It had been so long.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked

  “Nothing,” you smiled, shaking your head, “I’m just wondering how you’d ever get by without all this attention...”

  “Oh come on,” he chuckled, wiping his mouth with his napkin before placing it on his plate before the servers came to take away your dishes, “I’m not... it’s not that bad is it?”

  “You like all this attention, I get it” you smirked, shrugging playfully

  “How was everything?” your server asked

  “It was great!” Brendan said quickly before ordering dessert for the two of you

  “Oh, Bren, I’m so full... I don’t think we should get dessert..” you tried

  “How about some Champagne?”

  “Sure,” you smiled, “Champagne sounds nice.” The wait staff rushed to clear the table, leaving you to giggle at their eagerness, before you were being handed a crystal glass to clink with Brendan

  “To you,” he started, “to us”

  “To us” you repeated with a smile, taking a sip of the bubbly beverage, not realizing Brendan had gotten up from his seat until you were placing your glass back on the table, finding him kneeling on one knee. “No,” you thought to yourself, “please no. Not here, not like this...”

  “(Y/N)...” he started

  “Shit” you thought to yourself, a tear building in your eye as you already knew what you were about to say

  “I love you more than I ever thought I could love somebody and we’ve definitely had our moments that made things difficult but in the end it was all worth it. Because we wound up stronger,”

  “Brendan...” you tried to stop him

  “We found each other when I think we both needed it and I could not be more grateful for anyone in my life. When I think about my future, you’re the first thing I see. I want to share everything with you. The good, the bad, the in-between. I want us to share our lives together”

  “B..” you sighed, closing your eyes as he reached into his pocket

  “Will you marry me?” he asked, pulling out a small velvet box and revealing a diamond ring more beautiful than you could’ve imagined and you sat there in silence for a moment while the entire restaurant looked on. Any words struggled to escape your throat and your eyes just lingered on Brendan’s for a minute before you finally spoke

  “No” you said quietly, wiping a tear from your eye and walking away, stopping only when he grabbed your arm lightly, light enough for you to pull it away. You made your way out of the restaurant and leaned against the wall before walking toward the apartment. You couldn’t believe you were here again, trying to navigate this relationship while on a completely different page than the person you were supposed to be figuring it out with. When you felt a drop of water fall on your skin, you groaned to yourself before hearing a car pull up behind you

  “Get in,” Brendan called to you and you shook your head, “(Y/N), just get in the damn car” you stopped before walking to the passenger door and hopping into the seat

  “Le--” you started but he just turned up the volume on the radio to tune you out, leading you to turn your face to stare out the window. He slammed the door as he got out of the car, leaving the front door to the apartment wide open and you took a deep breath before you walked inside, closing it slowly behind you

  “WHAT THE HELL?!” he yelled

  “Let me explain,” you started, “I’m sorry”

  “Explain!”

  “You can’t get mad at me. I get that you’re upset but don’t yell and go on like a child. Just listen to me”

  “Fine” he huffed

  “Why did you propose? I mean really, what made you think that it was a good time or that we were ready or that I would say yes?”

  “Because we love each other?!” he said angrily

  “Yes,” you sighed, “I love you but I never said I was ready to marry you”

  “We talked about it…”

  “Did we?” you countered, sitting across from him as he thought about his answer, “I found your scrapbook, we talked about the wedding. I let it go because I thought it was sweet that you even had the scrapbook in the first place but then when we talked about being married…”

  “We talked about how nothing would change…”

  “You talked about how nothing would change and how great that would be for you,” you argued, sighing before dropping your head to your hands, “I never said I wanted to get married or that I was ready to get married”

  “You don’t want to marry me?” he asked sadly, a frown covering his features in a way you’d never seen before

  “That’s not what I’m saying”

  “Then what are you saying? You just humiliated me back there so I think I deserve the truth”

  “I don’t… know,” you huffed, getting up and pacing away from him, “I don’t know. I love you, Brendan, you know that. I wouldn’t have agreed to try this again if I didn’t love you but it just I can’t marry you right now”

  “Why not?!”

  “Because nothing has changed!” you yelled back finally, letting your mouth drop open at your own admission, watching his eyebrows scrunch together as he took in what you were saying

  “What do you mean..? What hasn’t changed?” he asked

  “Why do you think we broke up in the first place, the first time?”

  “I don’t know. You kept saying that we weren’t good for each other anymore and stuff like that…” you scoffed

  “You’re right,” you said, knowing that you couldn’t deny that you had, in fact, said those words, “but what else did I say? Why would I have said that we weren’t good for each other?”

  “I have no idea! I always thought we were good for each other.”

  “You don’t listen! You think you have all the answers or that you can fix everything so easily but you can’t. Not everything can be fixed so quickly.”

  “Fine. Okay, tell me now.” He insisted and you tilted your head, “I’m listening. I won’t say a word. I won’t try to fix it. Tell me now why you think we weren’t good for each other”

  “The truth?” you asked once before he took your hand and sat you down next to him on the couch

  “The truth”

  “We drifted apart. We were so hopelessly in love when we first met and I know things got stressful for you because of how the seasons were going but you wouldn’t talk to me about it. At first, I thought it was fine. Like I’d give you your space and there was a reason you didn’t want me to know you were feeling shitty about the way things were going. But a few years later and you’re still not talking to me about it? We’re supposed to be a team, you’re supposed to be able to talk to me about the stress you have so I can take some of it from you but that wasn’t us. You kept your stress to yourself and I got frustrated and mad and I made brash decisions like that guy,” you sighed, turning your body slightly, your knees grazing his, “you didn’t have to be alone in all of it”

  “I never felt like I was alone…” he said

  “I did” you confessed, realizing that was the first time you had really said those words out loud. You did feel alone all those years. Every decision you made was because you felt like you were in the relationship without him and it still felt that way; especially when your idea of marriage was so different than his seemed to be. “I guess,” you said, biting the inside of your cheek nervously, “I ended things because I hated being your second-choice, I hated sharing you with this city, I hated not having an identity aside from... you” you took a minute so he could hear what you were saying but there was still more you wanted him to understand, “honestly, I think you like it that way...”

  “What does that mean?”

  “If I’m here for you, unconditionally, then I get to be one of these girlfriends that the city can accept. I won’t be a loose cannon or someone that brings drama. They’ll accept me and you’ll get to finally have all this acceptance that you crave"

  "You think I crave acceptance?"

  "Yes" you replied simply

  "I don't.. think that's true" he stammered

  "I don't know if it's because you're a small guy in the league and you feel like you have to constantly prove yourself," you said, shaking your head to yourself as you spoke before catching a glimpse of his scowl, "or if it has something to do with being the eldest sibling.. I don't know, but yeah, yeah I think you crave acceptance"

  "What if I just crave your acceptance?"

  "Brendan..." you sighed, "you've always had my acceptance. That's why it's not about me"

  "So.. what does this mean?" he asked, head hung low

  "I love you. I always have and I always will and I want to marry you someday but I can't sacrifice myself for you. I need to be able to work and go on vacations and have friends outside of the Habs Wives. I need to not feel like I belong to you," you said, taking his hand softly in yours so he would look at you, "we're not objects. We're people and I want us both to be treated that way"

  "Me too" he smiled softly, leaning in to kiss your forehead

  "Are you okay?" you asked, wincing a little as you looked at his still sad face

  "I'm fine," he said, "a little embarrassed but it'll pass. I love you"

  "I love you, too," you replied, smiling as you kissed the tip of his nose. "Hey," you continued, "don't give up on me okay?"

  "I wouldn't dream of it" he smirked

  "I just mean... keep asking"

  "You got it, babe."

#Brendan Gallagher #B Gally #bgally #Gally #Brendan Gallagher fic #Brendan Gallagher series #Brendan Gallagher imagine #Gally fic #Gally imagine #Gally series #bgally imagine #bgally fic #bgally series #hockey #hockey fic #hockey imagine #hockey series #nhl #nhl fic #nhl series #nhl imagine #masterlist #the other masterlist

[adhd-ahamilton]

I got to see Hamilton in Sydney!!

It was a seriously, seriously amazing time – I was always worried that by the time I finally got to see Hamilton on stage (I was even supposed to see it in America last year lmfao) it wouldn’t mean the same anymore. And like, obviously it’s not my hyperfixation anymore. But even like this, it was still an incredible experience! I always figured that the recording would focus more on close-ups and the like because you can’t really see that on stage, but you really can see so much of what’s going on when you see it live and the whole stage is full of things to notice!

I have a lot of thoughts about it (mainly about the Australian cast, though some of these things could just be live performance things)!

Firstly, only two lines had their wordings changed:

* ‘John Adams doesn’t have a real job, anyway’ → ‘Vice president is not a real job, anyway.’ This got a good laugh from the audience; obviously it was changed to preserve the joke, since most Aussies wouldn’t have a good idea of who John Adams was. (I explained the joke when I watched the recording with my parents.)

* ‘Weehawken. Dawn.’ → ‘Jersey. Dawn.’ This was a bit of a surprise, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. Aussies also wouldn’t know Weehawken (I didn’t even get that he was referring to a place when I first heard it), while Jersey is very clear because they already made a joke about it. (That one didn’t get much of a laugh though, ofc lol) And it’s actually more consistent because later they do say ‘we were near the same spot my son died, is that why’ so they drive that connection even deeper.

I don’t think there were any other music/staging/choreography differences from the recording – just the acting. But ooh, this really was differently-acted!

Hamilton

I love Lin-Manuel Miranda. I love his energy and enthusiasm and intelligence and his optimism. But while I loved his dorky version of Hamiton, I have to admit, I didn’t always think it matched up with even the musical’s script, let alone the real person. This Hamilton, though? I kept thinking about all the ways he felt different from the original, and almost every time, it was like ‘yeah, this feels more like what I know of the real Hamilton.’ (Or at least, the Hamilton we wrote about in fic.)

This Hamilton is aggressive and prickly. Up until Helpless, we don’t really see him smile – which makes sense, y’know, with ‘talk less, smile more.’ When he confronts Burr at the beginning of the play, he doesn’t have Miranda’s overly energetic and talkative air, he’s more pushy and too intense. You really feel like, oh, yeah, he’s just walking up to someone on the street and badgering them into telling him about their life story. When he says ‘God, I wish there was a war’ he’s less naive and more so hyperfocused on his goal he doesn’t notice he’s said something super insensitive. When Burr says ‘You wanna get ahead?’ his ‘Yes’ isn’t quiet and firm, it’s more ‘yes obviously, nobody would not want to get ahead, so just hurry up and tell me already.’

And that’s just in the first couple of songs! He continues on like this, with that kind of burning intensity and hot temper, through the musical, though ofc it softens at important times. Importantly, his relationship with Burr is largely based in frustration. When he does ‘My Shot’, it honestly feels less like he’s singing to impress the guys and more like he’s challenging Burr and everything he just told him; I’m sure I saw him glancing back at Burr several times. Likewise, when he tells Burr to go get Theodosia, it’s not questioning – he’s outright saying that if he really loved her, he’d take any risk for her. And in Schuyler Defeated, his ‘Burr?’ isn’t questioning there, either – he’s already angry, he’s just demanding his attention. He genuinely seems to like Burr in a weird way that even he might not understand at times, but for the most part he just seems to find him really frustrating and is always trying to incite him to do more.

This Hamilton also feels very independent, and even aloof. In The Story of Tonight, while the other guys are totally sincere and moved by it all, Hamilton feels sorta… distant. At one point he half walks off until Laurens brings him back, which I think happens in the recording as well, but here I especially felt like that was how he was ‘really’ feeling. Not that he was being manipulative or lying in any way, just that he couldn’t be in the moment because he was still stuck in his head thinking about the future. And the whole way through, he very rarely seems to properly open up – my friend said afterwards that Hurricane hits so much harder when it’s the first time he’s really vulnerable in the entire musical. Which is basically how it happens.

It’s funny – you think of Hamilton and Burr as being contrasting this way, with Burr keeping his cards close to his chest and not revealing what he really wants until The Room Where It Happens, but this Hamilton doesn’t feel far off. But rather than keeping a secret per se, it’s more… he has such an incredibly strong, intense drive, and you’re never super certain where it comes from. And in Hurricane, it suddenly becomes clear – all this time, he’s still caught up in that trauma, and still feels like he needs to fight and scrape just to survive, even when it turns into this self-destructive impulse. Honestly, Hurricane has always been kind of a weird song – he’s been corrupted and is not the most sympathetic beforehand, but then you get this grand slow inspiring song talking about how he suffered in the past and overcame it, but THEN you cut to an almost comedic number about how he fucked everything up for himself and his family. In Miranda’s version, that mood up-and-down always felt a little too jarring. Here it made perfect sense – it was so shocking to see how vulnerable he was at the beginning, and then the song isn’t just repeating what we learned in the beginning, it’s explaining what he’s been keeping deep down all along, but also making it clear that this is manic and awful and destructive.

Part of that is the singing, too. This Hamilton can rap really well, but his singing voice is startlingly gentle and beautiful. It really helps to get across the sincerity of his feelings in Helpless, Dear Theodosia, and as I said Hurricane. On the other hand, there are also times his voice just goes flat, like there are so many emotions he can’t process them – you see that a bit in My Shot when he gets worried (‘I never had a group of friends before’), but it REALLY stings when he says ‘I have so much work to do.’ That hit me way harder than Miranda’s version :(

However, when you combine this Hamilton’s aloofness with that certainty and intelligence, you also get a version of him that is particularly… ironic? He’s always crossing his arms (when he’s not rubbing his face with a palm; those two gestures repeat constantly through the play), and kinda stepping back and Watching people, with a bit of a sense of self-important and even patronising judgement. This is very much ‘So quick-witted!’ ‘Alas, I admit it.’ He definitely does come across like a dude who thinks he is ‘smartest in the room,’ and puts way too much stock in his own opinion. Particularly with Burr whenever they were getting along there was a distinct sense of ‘You know what? I actually think you’re pretty interesting. And my positive judgement is hard to come by, so that’s a big compliment.’ (Burr does not seem to get this weirdly condescending vibe though, lol.) Honestly…. I gotta admit: I really don’t like people like that, haha – though I can’t say it’s entirely inappropriate for Hamilton characterisation. This Hamilton genuinely feels difficult, and that matches up to what happens in the script.

But, the consequence is that after Hurricane, some of the later songs didn’t have quite as much of an impact on me as in the original. In It’s Quite Uptown, I could somehow never quite lose that vision of Hamilton as a bit sarcastic and superior – the way he rubs at his face in grief still just felt a little… put-on and theatrical, like you can hear the frustrated sigh underneath. And this is a song that demands complete, total, unrelenting vulnerability – Miranda’s Hamilton sounds like he’s dying the whole time and that makes the emotional stakes really felt. Maybe it’s that his voice was TOO gentle in this song – Miranda’s more awkward voice actually adds to the exhausted brokenness of the situation?

And finally, when we got to The World Was Wide Enough… Miranda’s speech there in the silence might just be my favourite sequence in the entire musical, so I think anyone else would have struggled to match up to that. It doesn’t help that I was distracted trying to figure out Burr in this scene (which I’ll get to later). It was still beautiful, of course, but ‘What is a legacy?’ just feels so so very Lin-Manuel Miranda and anyone else singing that just doesn’t feel the same.

Overall, I really really enjoyed this version of Alexander Hamilton – as I said, he felt much closer to the actual characterisation I always imagined for him. And this one showed some really fascinating vulnerability in unexpected places, even if the ending didn’t quite land as well for me.

Burr

This Burr was really, really fascinating as well – an interpretation that feels different all the way through, but really pays off at the end with something very striking.

So, something the group of us all agreed was that this Burr felt a lot more like the ‘trust fund baby’ he calls himself. There’s something elegant and refined about him, a rich person who is used to moving through the world as a person to be admired. He’s actually quite graceful, somehow, even though he barely dances? But that also really brings to the fore one particular element – entitlement. (Seriously, my mum is physically incapable of bringing up Burr without mentioning the word ‘entitled’, lol.)

This is a Burr who is used to not having to work for things. He just sort of expects things to fall into his lap, eventually, in contrast to Hamilton. The world will eventually shape to match his desires – that’s how things work. Even in the latter part of the musical, it doesn’t so much feel like he needs to fight and scrape like Hamilton to get ahead, but more like… getting ahead is his birthright, and he just needs to effect that inevitable change into the world. But I’ll get to all that later.

The other thing my friend said was that this Burr feels very much like a preacher’s son, and the more I thought about that the more I agree. There’s something almost… toxically positive about him – the smiles don’t feel two-faced and manipulative so much as maybe like, wilfully ignorant? There’s a very ‘Don’t fret, God will work things out in the end :)’ feel about him, actually. But there’s also something deeply naive in him. Leslie Odom Junior’s version also had some of that genuine lack of understanding – when he muses in confusion over Hamilton in Wait For It, or when his face scrunches in confusion when he says ‘I don’t see why that has to end’ in Schuyler Defeated, and this one does all that, but it feels like an even more inescapable part of his character.

Like, there’s something about this Burr that is just a bit… lame. A bit ‘Hello Fellow Kids.’ But, intentionally!! As I said, he’s a preacher’s son. When he tries to act kinda cool or badass, it just doesn’t quite work. When he interacts with the other guys, even as he smiles wanly and shakes it off when they insult him, you feel like he does still want to be – or even think he is? - part of that group of cool young men. He’s just too… nice, almost. I felt a little more bad during The Story Of Tonight (Reprise) and all. And he seems to take it really earnestly that Hamilton likes him, even if, like I said, there’s a sorta superior quality coming from Hamilton.

He just comes across more naive. Rather than a manipulator, this Burr comes across as more of a shameless Yes Man, who doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with what he’s doing. But I also sort of felt like other characters easily saw through him, and Burr didn’t quite realise that. Like with Jefferson, it sorta felt like he thought he was being really strategic but Jefferson was just like ‘sure, this guy works as an ally, even if he’s kinda annoying.’

And when it comes to Wait For It… the song makes it clear that bad things have happened to him – he hasn’t gone through life without suffering – but he hasn’t had the same reaction Hamilton has had. While Hamilton learned nothing will come to him unless he takes it, it feels like Burr learned that things will just… happen to him, good or bad, and he can’t control it. Nothing that has ever really affected Burr has been of his choice – he inherited his position, and then his parents died, and  all of that was just the uncontrollable whim of the universe. Leslie Odom Junior’s version emphasised the ‘I am the one thing I can control’ aspect a bit more – you feel that that version really had worked hard and struggled for the sake of his studies and job, but this Wait For It gave me a very uncomfortable feeling of being trapped. It’s as though everything about him is already decided, and even his efforts aren’t personal decisions so much as just what was natural and expected of him to do.

And that makes the second half of the story feel very different for him. In Leslie Odom Junior’s version, we see him take that self-control to new levels – that realisation that there is something that means as much to him as all of that drive and intensity Hamilton puts out, and it’s his own ambition. That he does want that, and he will have to fight and get his hand dirty to make it happen. As the story goes on, he becomes increasingly desperate and fearful, understanding more and more what it was to be that kid in the hurricane, becoming viscerally aware that terrible things can and will happen to him unless he stops them.

This Burr doesn’t feel like that. His downfall isn’t frantic. It’s very very cold.

In The Room Where It Happens, yes, his ambition crystallises and he changes strategy. But it feels less like an electric jolt, or an earthquake, and more of an epiphany. It’s okay for him to do these things. It’s right. He belongs in the room where it happens. Whatever he does to bring him there is by definition right and good.

He honestly seems to be feeling good through much of it. He’s so smiley when he comes up to Jefferson. He seems even more confused than Leslie’s Burr when Hamilton is actually mad at him for unseating Schuyler. And in The Election of 1800, there’s nothing of the original’s tired, manic energy, like he’s pushing himself to the brink and plastering on a smile to get through it. When this Burr campaigns, he’s energized and charismatic and friendly and filled with almost a kind of serenity. Like this is what he was born to do. His future is almost here – he just needs to reach out a little and it will be in his grasp.

Which, brief aside here while I analyse this haha – so, in Australia, a big part of our culture is what is called Tall Poppy Syndrome. i.e., an instinctive bitterness and hostility towards those who are perceived to stand above others. It’s often described as an aggression towards successful people, but I think that’s only part of it. Australians would describe their culture as breezy and casual and relaxed, but there’s also something disaffected about it, IMO. You’re not meant to ever take anything too seriously. Yes, we all take the piss out of politicians, but it’s sorta ‘lame’ to really seriously oppose them, too. It’s like our culture is stuck in the mindset of a self-conscious fifteen year old, where we’re all sorta lazily cynical and ‘bluntly honest’, but you’re not supposed to ever actually do anything about it all. Caring too much is kinda embarrassing. You’re just supposed to make fun of people and keep living your life. We don’t get the same fundamentalist groups intent on forcing their viewpoint on society like America does, but we also don’t get the same idealists who fervently believe that if we work hard we can make things better. They exist, for sure. But… well, it’s hard for me to imagine an Australian Leslie Knope, you know? (Who, btw, is one of my favourite fictional characters of all time, for reference.)

Watching Burr in The Election of 1800, I was struck by a memory. It was an Australian season of The Amazing Race, and on top of all of the typical relaxed Australian reality show contenders (seriously, I don’t know what the fuck Drag Race Down Under is on, that is the most un-Australian reality show I have ever SEEN), there was one couple that were I suppose Go-Getters. The type who eat healthily (probably vegan) and get up every morning in their athleisure to work out at the gym or go for runs. They were peppy and enthusiastic and they announced with huge smiles that they were going to WIN this! And the other contestants absolutely despised them. At one point, they did something to attract specific ire – honestly, it was probably nothing more than just not helping another duo who were going the wrong way, because in Australian reality shows everyone helps. But after that, multiple groups all ganged up to sabotage them. They took such delight in watching these two cheery people’s optimism flag, so very self-assured in having taught them to ‘not take yourself too seriously.’ Burr, as he was campaigning, reminded me of them.

It’s really telling, I think, that Burr is the one who reminded me a little of Leslie Knope, here – albeit obviously a much darker version. The kind of person who dorkily believes in the system and puts himself out there unselfconsciously, whose wide smiles are unironic and unmocking. In the original, Lin Manuel Miranda actually compared Hamilton to Leslie Knope at one point, with Hamilton’s ‘thirty years of disagreements.’ It’s a very Australian thing, to make Hamilton less earnest and more aloof and sarcastic, to make his anger as much about frustration with other people as about believing in something himself, and to make Burr, by comparison, sincere. Australians don’t really trust sincerity. Honesty is to be framed as an insulting joke, and Burr is just too polite to do that.

When the results come, Burr’s serene smile only very very slowly fades. Before his expression really drops, he turns away. When Your Obedient Servant starts, he’s quiet. The whole time he sings, he’s measured and controlled and entirely certain of himself. He doesn’t have LOJ’s grit or spikes in volume on ‘just to keep me from winning.’ He’s unnervingly quiet.

Even into The World Was Wide Enough this continues. In the original, Burr is outright frantic. He’s desperate and shaking with anger and fear, and when he points at Hamilton’s glasses and the like, you can feel that he actually isn’t sure of himself – that he’s trying to justify this to himself and knows he sounds crazy, but he just can’t pull back now. His voice shakes and goes up and down. When he says ‘we were near the same spot his son died, is that way?’ it rises and when he says ‘this man will not make an orphan of my daughter’ he cracks in real tears, like the mention of Philip reminded him of what’s at stake here, like that really is the reason he’ll kill him. This Burr stays quiet and cold. He doesn’t waver.

If that Burr was desperate, this one feels… and I hope this doesn’t sound like a joke: like a thwarted rich nice guy. The other Burr learned from Hamilton too well, and is replicating his self-destructive energy. This Burr hasn’t learned anything at all. Winning is still his birthright, and Hamilton has stolen that from him. Burr deserves it, and he deserves to punish Hamilton for this. It’s not an explosion of shock, a scrabbling for purchase in this new chaotic world that will doom them both. It’s vindictive. Burr knows what he is doing and he wants to hurt Hamilton for all Hamilton has hurt him.

After the shot, I was surprised to find myself not tearing up as I expected (usually, these two last songs always get me). With the original Burr, his singing is laced with pain as much as regret. When he repeats ‘death doesn’t discriminate’, we feel his sorrow as he fits Hamilton into the same kind of category as his parents and wife, as someone important to him who died. When he says ‘he may have been the first one who died, but I’m the one who paid for it,’ we understand that he’s referring to the depth of his grief. That having to live with knowing he killed Hamilton feels, in this moment, worse than death.

This Burr is still cold. And when he finally gets to it, and says ‘I’m the one who paid for it,’ he looks away. He almost spits. His face is contorted in bitterness. It’s rough and gritty, for the first time in the entire musical.

I can remember it vividly – it was shocking to see, and sends shivers through me to remember. I’d been waiting for that cathartic sadness, but it wasn’t here. This Burr, deep down, didn’t feel for Hamilton, at least in the end. He was pissed off because for once in his life his actions had consequences. Because of Hamilton, he had fucked up his life forever. His worldview had been shattered. And at that moment, that was all he could think about – that resignation and bitterness and anger. All along, maybe, he had been nice only because he’d had no reason not to be. Once it didn’t benefit him, and his pride and entitlement were damaged, he showed who he truly was.

It… was an experience, lol. Honestly I think it was partly lost on me because I so loved the original version and was like working myself up ready for a good cry here, so I didn’t get to just sit and take the full impact – I kept searching for a grief or fear that wasn’t there. But I don’t think this version is bad! It’s a very valid interpretation of Burr, and it was extremely fascinating to see unfold.

If I have one critique, it’s that one kind of problem with the whole Australian show is that the performances lacked grit. I really wanted more edge, more aggression, more intensity of those emotions – something more sharp and shocking. Hamilton delivers this kind of thing at times, especially early on, but ofc it fades away in the end. Jefferson, as I’ll get to, is too smooth-talking while also having that cold serene kind of anger. When we lack both Hamilton’s broken It’s Quiet Uptown and Burr’s frantic ‘this man will not make an orphan of my daughter’, we don’t get those life and death stakes quite as highly. By focusing all of Burr’s anger in one line, I think the rest of the songs didn’t have as much of an impact as I’d like.

But!! I really enjoyed this interpretation, and I’d love to see it again knowing what’s coming!

Eliza

OKAY nobody else is going to get those huge walls of text lmaoooo

Anyway this Eliza wasn’t a super different interpretation than Phillipa Soo’s, but I think she pulled it off at least as well, if not even better?

So, the really big obvious thing about this Eliza is her smile. Her actress has this amazing, big toothy grin that feels so lacking in guile, but also still so comforting. It’s so attention-grabbing and almost impossible not to be affected by. It just screams ‘hey, things will turn out okay, so cheer up! :)’ And it’s something that just comes out on Eliza as if on instinct – she’s wearing it through most of That Would Be Enough, and at the end of Take A Break when she escorts Angelica away, and even in Blow You All Away when she’s comforting Phillip or in flickers when describing Hamilton’s old letters in Burn.

The thing about Eliza as a character is that she’s basically defined by her emotional intelligence. She feels as strongly as Hamilton, but where he is uncontrolled and reckless and both self and other destructive, she is the opposite of all of those things. She’s measured and practical and knows exactly who she is and what she wants at all times. She will sacrifice for others, but it’s because she decides to, and if she is hurt, she will not keep herself in harm’s way. It’s an interesting kind of competence and I can understand in theory why it’s cool to have a female character like that even if I, as a neurodivergent mentally ill woman cannot relate in the slightest and feel sorta awkward to be judged against.

This Eliza nails all of that perfectly. She’s effortlessly charming and soothing whenever she wants to be – in That Would Be Enough, when Hamilton is turned away and putting up all of his sharpest bristles, you can feel her become something soft and liquid and find her way up against him regardless without getting hurt. It’s that strength of character that makes their relationship really work – it’s not necessarily that she completely understands him or is good at ‘handling’ him, but that her certainty of purpose and deliberate, skilful compassion make her perfectly suited to calm Hamilton’s deep down insecurities. She loves him entirely and makes him believe that. And when Hamilton responds with his own intensity, she loves that, and believes in that.

And all of that makes it mean so much more when she steps out of that natural mediator role for a moment. In Helpless she’s adorable, so giddy and excited and so clearly crushing on Hamilton with a youthful energy that somehow doesn’t feel all that naive. As she sings she’s constantly glancing back over at him, it’s really cute haha. But she does feel a bit more vulnerable here – it does feel like she’s silently asking for help from Angelica when they talk. More startlingly, there’s Non-Stop – when she calls out ‘Alexander’, it is SHARP. It’s the same kind of tone Hamilton takes when he calls out to Burr in Schuyler Defeated. It’s a bit startling actually, but in a good way.

That tone, I think, foreshadows Burn. Again, I think this Eliza takes the same tone as Philippa Soo, but this version (maybe just because I saw it live!) embodied it even more – she talks about her own desperation to understand, re-reading their old letters, and cites Angelica as back-up, but when she reaches the mid-point, she stops and seems to think. She weighs up the situation and her emotions. And when she says ‘I’m erasing myself from the narrative,’ it is very deliberate and conscious. She is in control of her fate and she can see herself objectively and this is what is just. Her moral core is impenetrable. She sees long arc of the future that Hamilton and Burr are so obsessed with and she says, yes, this is what should be done.

And then in It’s Quiet Uptown, that same self-certainty is there from the very first word. This whole musical, even at her lowest, Eliza has instinctively brought out that comforting, wide smile. Here, her face is expressionless. If Hamilton’s acting here didn’t quite hit my mark, Eliza’s was spot on. The withdrawal of that earlier warmth is all the colder when there is no doubt within her about it, and nobody can argue she’s wrong in that. When she takes Hamilton’s hand, she still doesn’t smile. It’s sad :(

Of all of the final songs, Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story hit me closest to the original. It’s actually almost jarring to see Eliza ask ‘have I done enough?’ This whole song, we hear a hasty energy to her she’s lacked all musical – the first sign that Hamilton has rubbed off on her, too. But when she asks ‘Will they tell your story?’ it’s still Eliza – this isn’t about a legacy, it’s because she’s still that giddy girl from Helpless who loves him and wants to do everything she can for the people she loves.

(Whenever she and Hamilton see each other but appear to walk past one another, only to circle around and meet in the middle again, I cry lmao;;)

Her gasp at the end is soft and quiet and delighted, as though she just spotted someone in the crowd who she hasn’t seen in years and can’t wait to catch up.

If I have one critique, it’s the lack of grit again. Her scream at Philip’s death wasn’t as wild and destroyed as Phillipa Soo’s, and while I like her gasp, I prefer the original’s shocked, overwhelming joy.

Overall though, she was extremely good! Her charisma was just blinding, but it was in that perfectly ‘mundane’ way you’d expect from Eliza. But that solid, immovable core always shone through. They really sold her relationship with Hamilton, too!

Angelica

This is the one I feel like I have the least to say about. My mum said she was the only character who just couldn’t quite match up to the original, and I don’t really agree, but I don’t have a huge amount to say, either.

This Angelica felt a bit older and more mature than Goldsberry. The original Angelica has a bit of brashness and vivid emotion to her – a bit more out there and exaggerated in her actions and expressions. More bold but also more chaotic. This one was a bit more quiet and considering. Diplomatic, maybe?

I actually worried when I first saw her that she wouldn’t be able to carry Satisfied because she was too confident and capable I wouldn’t be able to believe her vulnerability, but no, she pulled that off perfectly. When she was standing in the dark there in the end, the sadness radiated from her.

I actually got a lot more chemistry between her and Hamilton this time; I always thought I disliked the relationship in that canon because of my grudge against how LMM wrote it, but maybe it’s just that LMM was too old for her lmao. You’d think her quietness would contrast with Hamilton’s pushiness, but if anything it feels like she can just eyebrow-arch off his usual way of getting under people’s skin – when she says ‘you forget yourself’ it’s subtly disapproving, then when he delivers the punchline, it’s like he proves himself enough to earn her respect. Indeed, their mutual aloofness actually suits them both really well. You can just imagine them working together, quietly sharing their judgements on everyone else in the room around them. They’d be a terrifying power couple, and that really connects up to her advice in Take a Break.

I don’t have as much to say about the rest of the musical though. (actually IDK if that’s all partly just because by the end my ADHD brain had to work a lot harder to keep up, lol.) Her piece in The Reynalds Pamphlet did the job, and her singing in It’s Quiet Uptown was beautiful.

I guess, if I had to contrast them, the original Angelica felt more spirited and aggressive – very ‘you want a revolution? I want a revelation!’ - while this one felt more like the settled head of the family who already had her place but understood the world perfectly and knew she’d have to pick and choose what she wanted most. (...spoken like that she sounds like a big contrast to Burr, funnily enough?)

Lafayette/Jefferson

So not too much to say about Lafayette – the guy pretty much did him the same as Daveed Diggs, and pulling that off is very impressive but there isn’t too much to analyse here. If anything the Lafayette felt slightly less bright and cheery than the original, which may have been done to contrast with Jefferson.

Jefferson, on the other hand, was quite different. Diggs’ version is very loud and kinda abrasive and arrogant – always smiling and bouncing but with something clearly malicious lying behind all of that. He’s got a harshness to him, deliberately intimidating and surprisingly authentic in what he reveals of himself. He’s a villain character who’s fun to watch because he’s having fun himself and you gotta admire his balls.

This Jefferson is much more smooth and manipulative – maybe taking over from what Burr sometimes delves into? When he first appears, he plays to the crowd, encouraging the cheers, but it’s less arrogance and more like, he’s a celebrity putting on a show. He’s friendly and cheerful all through What’d I Miss?, disarmingly enjoyable to watch. He’s someone who knows the crowd and likes the crowd and is very very good and getting what he wants from the crowd without making it obvious he’s doing that. He’s definitely the type of #relatable celebrity fans would really want to defend.

But Hamilton represents a very clear change to his status quo. He starts off singing What’d I Miss? just in a fun, conversation-starting way as a rhetorical question, but after Hamilton introduces himself, he seems genuinely taken-aback. His last ‘What’d I miss?’ sounds like a genuine question, like, ‘wait wtf what’s going on here all of a sudden?’

And then we get the Cabinet Battles. Despite the above, Jefferson starts off his argument oozing with relaxed confidence. He doesn’t need to take any of this seriously – it’s already in the bag! Everyone loves him and as long as he makes some nice jokes and smiles disarmingly enough, he’ll always get what he want. And then Hamilton starts talking. And he’s pushy and hostile and sarcastic and mocking and angry and superior. And the whole time, Jefferson stands straight and Stares at him. We get none of Diggs’ ‘Haha, this guy is a riot! :D’ type of energy – this Jefferson is deeply displeased, and he is watching very, very carefully to take stock of the situation so he can put an end to it.

It’s actually really well done IMO – when the crowd oohed and ahhed, it felt like a 50/50 of ‘what the hell, people aren’t supposed to DISAGREE with Jefferson!’ and also ‘holy shit this guy is acting like an actual obnoxious child who needs to stfu right now.’ Both Jefferson’s easy entitlement and Hamilton’s unhelpful abrasiveness really got across.

In the second battle, Jefferson is much more careful. Whether it’s because he isn’t underestimating Hamilton anymore or because he cares much more about this, there’s an unamused urgency underlying everything he says. He still tries to be friendly and charming and diplomatic, but his smile drops often. This issue is important and he is not going to back down on it. It’s actually still not quite as immaturely insulting as Hamilton – more like, ‘can we stop humoring this asshole kid already and do something we very much need to be doing?’

(Also fun fact: in The Room Where It Happens, when we get to Jefferson’s version of events, Hamilton’s ‘I had nowhere else to turn’ is SO fake and sarcastic it was really funny, like even the Hamilton in Jefferson’s head can’t bring himself to actually say that sincerely.)

So, when we get to Washington On Your Side, he’s cold. At the time, he contrasts well with Burr, who is all smiles and surprisingly relaxed. This Jefferson is more like Angelica, quietly analysing the situation and slowly coming to a plan. The difference between cold, planning Jefferson and smooth-talking Jefferson is also great.

Because of all this, he has less of the really comedic stuff the original Jefferson got, with the exaggerated expressions and movements – in We Know, he’s more struck dumb by everything than the more over the top reactions Diggs did. But the controlled coldness contrasts with Hamilton better – it makes sense that he was the one who successfully connived himself to the top. And we get much more of that contrast between public and private Jefferson that is one of the interesting real-world meta statements, where who is was to the people and who he actually was were very different.

…….I think I had some kind of impression of ‘because I’m the president’ but I can’t remember what it was anymore. Hrm.

Anyway: enjoyed!!

Mulligan/Madison

So, how I’ve been saying the show lacked grit? I honestly think it might’ve all just collected in Hercules Mulligan lmao – obviously his parts are meant to be bold and brash and powerful, but these ones hit even harder than usual. His part in The World Turned Upside Down was just so Loud I could feel it in my chest! Great performance, I loved it!

Madison was very very different naturally, but also very different from the original version? While the original Madison felt tired and a bit disgruntled, like he was exhausted by Jefferson’s in-your-faceness and just wanted to get this done so he could get back to his work, his one felt much happier to be there. This Madison felt like he actually saw himself as Jefferson’s teammate, like he considered himself part of the show and was happy (even smug) to be helping out. When Jefferson passes him the microphone, rather than say ‘France’ with an irritated expression as if to say ‘everyone already knows this, just get on with it already’, it feels more like this Madison already rehearsed this with Jefferson deliberately. He calls out ‘France,’ as though it is some incredible zinger, like he’s been given the mic drop here. It’s pretty cute haha!

Overall this Madison felt a lot younger. Talking afterwards my mum mentioned that Mulligan’s role is hard because he has to switch to playing ‘an old man’, and was pretty surprised when I said Madison was actually the same age as Hamilton. This version felt a lot more age-appropriate. He still gets sick and starts coughing (and it feels a lot meaner when Hamilton makes fun of him! The dude was just so happy to be here – let him have his zingers!!), but aside from that he thrums with nervous energy behind Jefferson, like he’s ready to help out anytime he’s needed.

In all, he kinda feels like he fulfils that certain comedic henchman trope a bit? It really comes together with the ‘Can we get back to politics?’ ‘:’( please!!’ exchange. Madison isn’t made fun of, per se – it’s not like he really does enough in the script to get that kind of attention. But he’s just a bit funnier and more sympathetic, while also strangely feeling more like he and Jefferson are an actual team. (I mean, Jefferson hands him the mic as though he’s setting up a zinger, too. They’re both a bit ridiculous!)

Laurens/Phillip

Okay, this was one I was really curious about, for obvious reasons – LMM always sorta made it out that since he never included any of the Hamilton/Laurens stuff in the script, he kinda tried to act it in there more. In Story of Tonight or Ten Duel Commandments, or even briefly in the opening song, there’s meant to be a closeness that hints, however subtle, at that relationship.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get that at all here.

Laurens’ casting surprised me at first – he’s super short and extremely baby-faced, to the point that I wondered if he wasn’t played by a cis man. (His actor is a man, though, though ofc I wouldn’t know if he’s cis or not.) I was kinda confused about that all through the first act… until I got to the second act and, uh, remembered. But despite this – perhaps because of it? - he is an absolute firecracker. He’s hot-headed and rough and determined and every bit the young impassioned soldier.

He’s a bit more naive in the early songs – he seems genuinely friendly with Hamilton in The Story of Tonight, and you feel like he really does just like him from the moment he hears Non-Stop – but like I said, Hamilton is still pretty closed-off through all of that, so… it doesn’t really feel mutual. Hamilton likes him fine, but it doesn’t feel like he cares as much as Laurens does.

In Satisfied, he indeed seems super drunk, but it’s more like he’s just too young and drinking too much at a party than anything. The only time I really felt any particular chemistry between him and Hamilton actually comes from Story of Tonight Reprise – when Hamilton wanders off to speak with Burr, in sincere friendship, and Laurens comes over and starts ribbing Burr about his girl with almost malicious energy, it did sort of feel a little like he was jealous, if only that Hamilton and he had been talking so easily.

Finally, we get to Stay Alive. There, Hamilton and Laurens are just so angry and disgusted with Lee that they don’t really have room for anything else. It’s all very focused and determined and Manly, without any time for something softer or close between them. And I’m not sure how to feel about that. Laurens’ revulsion for Lee is historical record, and it says a lot about him and his values that that was so important to him. But there are other important parts of Laurens – that worry and fear and insecurity inside him, that ended up being so damaging to him. In such a limited script for him, ‘Alexander, you’re the closest friend I’ve got’ is really his one chance to show some of those emotions before he dies. Instead, Laurens never really gets to show that vulnerability, and I worry that it makes him feel too much like a ‘generic soldier character.’

I wonder if it’s because this Laurens looked so youthful that they sort of overcompensated, and felt the need to make him extra manly to make it clear he belonged there despite his appearance. But it sort of felt a bit too… macho for me. Nowhere to be found is that 18th century romantic friendship. Instead, it’s been replaced by a more WWI era Comrade and Comrade type deal. They’d die for each other, but would they write romantic letters to one another? And I think this is also unfortunately pretty Australian – real emotion is lame!! The only acceptable emotion is fucking hating your boss, and challenging him to a duel with your squadmate to get him what he deserves.

Well, I’m reading too much into it all, lol. But I always felt like the original Laurens barely got to show much of himself as it was, and this one felt even less so, unfortunately.

His final scene – is it We May Not Live To See Your Glory? - is done well, though. Again, Laurens just sorta feels like a generic young soldier, but ‘idealistic soldier who died too young’ is moving enough on its own. And in one of those rare moments, Hamilton really does feel shaken and vulnerable. ‘I have so much work to do,’ as I said, hurts – so lifeless and unlike him. Like nothing could process those emotions in him now, or express them.

Philip, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. First of all, yeah – having a shorter, younger-looking actor makes that Take a Break scene WAY less awkward, haha. It wasn’t even funny, it was just like ‘oh huh this just kinda looks all right?’ And the actor did really well playing a kid! He looked like a completely different person there, which is really good.

And then we get to Blow You All Away, and hoo boyy. If Laurens had been excessively confident, Phillip oozes uncertainty with everything he does. When he flirts with the girls ‘when I come back we’ll all strip down to our socks’ he manages to pull off the cocky act but in basically every other line you can see and hear the ‘a-am I doing this right? I’m not screwing this up, am I?’ radiating off of him. He definitely believes he’s doing the right thing – when he says ‘you talk about my father I will not let it slide’ there’s no hesitation – it’s just that he very clearly isn’t sure if he’s up to the task of doing it.

It was sorta interesting, actually – I think the original Phillip was more naively overconfident and reckless, and only had an attack of the nerves after he got himself into the duel. But – and this might just be me projecting here, lol – when this Philip confronts Eacker in the theatre, I got a real sense of like… ‘??? can I do this here? Where are you meant to threaten duels???’ and when Eacker is like ‘piss off, I’m watching this show now’ he seemed to wilt a lot, and straight up froze for a second or two, like he really didn’t know what to do at that point. And then of course when he talks to Hamilton he’s really worried…

And then his death. Somehow, I never used to cry much when this happened – it’s obviously very sad, but it didn’t manage to hit the right heartstrings to make crying, even in the recording. But oh god, this one was just awful… Even as he’s dying, Philip is still just so desperate for approval, like he’s so scared his parents will be mad at him for screwing it up, and Eliza is trying so hard to reassure him before he dies… I cried a lot :(

So overall, I really liked this Phillip, even if I don’t necessarily think it’s an improvement to the original. Laurens I kinda preferred the original, though this was still an interesting interpretation that gave me a lot to think about!

Washington

The guy did well! He has what Washington needs, and that’s a stature. When he’s on stage, your eyes are just naturally drawn to him. Even when he’s not doing much, he’s still a little intimidating. He has presence!

And in fact, this actor had an interesting quirk where the whites of his eyes could be seen easily? In Right-Hand Man, as he’s striding around at the center of the stage, his eyes just looked white, and it drilled in that slightly manic, crazed intensity underlying his strict, rigid rapping and self-control. It have the whole thing a really great effect.

But this Washington also had a sort of almost… slight fem-ness to him, that I didn’t get as much from the initial? It’s funny how during One Last Time, I suddenly got this vivid though, ‘oh, it’s like he’s a cool supportive teacher.’ Which… obviously?? Haha. Like he’s clearly a mentor to Hamilton all the way through! But it’s that specifically teacher description I really felt all of a sudden, that he was warm and approachable and gentle at heart, despite everything I said above lol.

Like, I feel like this Washington was just a bit less stoic than the original? Slightly more expressive and less stern. When he says ‘I’m from Virginia, so watch your mouth,’ in the original, it sounded like he was genuinely kinda offended? It was ‘watch your mouth’ as in ‘don’t disrespect my home state.’ But in this one, Washington sorta grimaces a little theatrically and says it more incredulously, like he’s actually saying ‘you wanna maybe try thinking about who you’re talking to before you say that shit, son?’ It’s more of a warning – less that he’s upset and more that other people would be, so he should really try thinking before he speaks.

He also still does the part in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story when Eliza says she spoke out against slavery and he kinda stumbles and stares and then looks down in shame, given the real Washington’s actions.

I liked him! I felt a little more warmly to him in the end than the original, but that might just be a product of seeing it live.

Peggy/Maria

Okay so I don’t really have anything to say about Peggy, which had basically always been the case, hah. :’) I mean, I think this version made the transformation between her initial wariness vs her later excitement more clear? But that is very likely a live show thing.

Maria, though!! Honestly? I was never really a fan of the original Maria’s performance. She just feels too much like a cliched seductress archetype, and while you can argue that that’s the role she plays in the story, especially since there’s the uncertainty over whether or not she was deliberately setting Hamilton up, it just feels too on the nose. It makes it harder to believe Hamilton didn’t know what was up the moment he saw her, which I don’t think is intentional. And it makes me feel bad for the real Maria Reynolds.

But this one was very different – much more vulnerable. When she first talks to Hamilton, she’s not doing a sexy pout and throaty singing, she’s just sorta… quiet and monotone and lost, much like Hamilton gets when he’s too emotional as well. Like she’s in shock and truly has nowhere to go is just sort of crumpling as a person. And when she propositions Hamilton, again it feels sincere – she just wants him to stay.

And after he talks to James Reynolds (just as perfectly, theatrically assholish as in the original), that continues. When he confronts her, she genuinely seems desperate and scared and upset. I felt so, so sorry for her that I was yelling in my head right then ‘you can’t just leave her now!’ at Hamilton – and then immediately remembered what that’d mean… it’s a much more gripping situation.

And then in the end, James Reynolds walks off and claps, and Maria just stops, face and body entirely stoic, and follows after him in silence… Is that an indication it was all an act from her? Or is it that she’s so scared of him that she totally closes up and can’t cry, can’t show any kind of emotion or weakness around him, and just has to try and be a silent and flawless wife? No matter how you interpret it, it’s chilling.

Oh, and IDK if this is done in the recording, but in The Reynolds Pamphlet, she gets given one, too, and her look of just… upset/disgust is also really painful. At the end they say ‘his poor wife’, but who thinks about poor Maria?? :(

I still wouldn’t say that this is an accurate adaptation of the real events, since I think that gets right into the script and structure of Hamilton in ways that a regional performance just can’t really make better. But this version is at least better. It plays Maria with more dignity, I think, than making her into a sexy bombshell, even if that bombshell act does get subverted in the original as well. This one feels significantly more sympathetic.

King George

He was great!! He was played by an older actor who seems to have done a lot of serious Shakespearian plays, which of course makes him absolutely perfect – both in that he could flawlessly depict that pompous old privileged Brit, but also in that he probably has a good backing in comedy and political satire :P He was clearly having the time of his life playing to the crowd – throughout all his time on stage he was constantly alternating between doing one or two lines very serious and mostly straight, before doing something absolutely hilarious. That back and forth worked extremely well!

Also I never saw it properly on the recording but when he gets up and dances in the middle of the stage during the Reynolds Pamphlet?? AMAZING.

Obviously, Johnathon Groff is his own personality and is friends with LMM and brings all of that unique stuff to the table that nobody could replicate. But this actor was just as much fun to watch, and does have the added benefit of really looking and sounding the part.

Final Thoughts

I’d really love to hear other people’s thoughts on this run, especially from the perspective of it being an Australian cast/audience – I really hoped the booklet would include at least a piece or two from someone who worked on this run, but it did not. (In fact, it was one of the scantest musical books I’ve seen? I don’t regret buying it as a souvenir of course but usually they have at least one or two interesting pieces of new content aside from just backstage pics…)

What really sticks out to me is the structure of it all. Hamilton is definitely the central character that brings everything together through the first ¾, but around The Room Where it Happens Burr starts to take over bit by bit, allowing him to keep up the energy as Hamilton falls back further and further into becoming both less of a hero but also more quiet and passive. By The Election of 1800, Burr is giving us all the energy – until the end of The World Was Wide Enough, when he too falls back and Eliza takes over.

Given this, this Hamilton did an incredible job throughout most of the performance – he had amazing chemistry with every other character and really exemplified that scrappy, intelligent, driven, but aggressive and difficult character that never quite shined through in LMM’s performance for me. Burr’s more subtle performance complements that well, and he even arguably outdoes Leslie Odom Junior in The Election of 1800. However, after that I think his quieter acting and singing sort of fails to fill the hole Hamilton left behind, reducing the climax a bit of its energy. Thankfully, Eliza was able to bring that all back for her final number.

It also strikes me that this performance is a bit less teary, at least from the men. Eliza, Angelica, and Maria all bring out that vulnerability and the sadness of their positions wonderfully – a great improvement in Maria’s case, for me. However, Burr’s The World Was Wide Enough severely downplays the sincere regret angle, while Hamilton never quite hits the right notes on It’s Quiet Uptown. However, Hurricane and Phillip’s performance in Blow You All Away definitely hit that fear and panic leading to self-destruction. (Interesting I guess that Burr doesn’t also seem more fearful in The World Was Wide Enough?) Is that also a gendered expectations thing, perhaps?

Either way, I’m extremely glad I was able to see it if only for Hamilton’s performance – honestly, maybe the reason it seemed to lose a lil steam was just that Hurricane was so good everything else failed to follow it, haha. Burr also absolutely fascinated me here, too, and that was so much fun to see play out in real time!

Hamilton will be coming to Melbourne next, and I’m not sure yet if I’ll be able to go there but I’d really like to! It’d be really fun to test out these expectations/conclusions of mine with a fresh viewing, as well as see any other new cast changes/interpretations…!

#Hamilton #Hamilton Sydney #musical #this is INCREDIBLY long lmfao #IDK if I should apologise or the opposite #I miiiight end up xposting to ao3 as well as a meta #if I can be bothered to read it through and edit it a bit maybe heh

[creativityobsessed]

Be Brave Adachi, or the musical shaping of episodes 1-4

Part 1: Episode 1

Ok folks, buckle up. @ohmypreciousgirl asked me for more music meta and I need exactly ZERO arm twisting for that to happen, so I immediately put on my listening ears and musicologist hat and started my eleventy first rewatch. Since I’m currently only through episode 4 on this rewatch, and I have a page and a half of notes, I’m gonna put in a Read More so that I don’t take up the next 5 miles of the tags. You might be interested if:

You like music

You’re interested in detailed analysis of character development

You’re wondering why the heck those scenes where Adachi is having all the anxiety are so dang effective.

The answer, of course, is that the music helps to shape the exact moments that Adachi makes steps towards character growth. Under the cut, you’ll find out exactly how it’s doing that.

This will be a 4-part series, running over the next 4 days because I got halfway through episode 3 and realized that yall did NOT want a 10 page paper in a single tumblr post. Plus then I can extend the series to include the rest of the episodes later.

So. Without further ado.

Episode 1  (If you’d like to watch/listen along, cue up 19:45 in episode 1* now.) 

At the beginning of the show, we’re introduced to Adachi, the shy, introverted, anxious klutz. He tells us lots of things about himself, most of which include some reference to either his lack of bravery or his self-esteem which is currently so low that it seems to be floating somewhere in the Marianas Trench. Aside from the opening scene with the bike (which many of us, myself included, have hypothesized comes from some kind of future) the music is mostly laid-back, a little jazzy, and repetitive. Adachi’s office scenes come with a walking bass/guitar line that never really finds a melody, and reminds me of nothing more than generic 90s/early 2000s slice-of-life “this is every day” music. His Adachi-at-home music is gently strummed guitar, slow and kind of lethargic, mirroring the way Adachi just floats through life. The main exception is Adachi’s monologue on Kurosawa, which is fast paced, march-like, and jaunty - a reflection of how Adachi sees Kurosawa before the events of the show.

And then, at the end of the episode, that changes, and we get something new for the first time. Adachi is processing the new revelation that Kurosawa actually does like him, and he has just finished telling himself that Kurosawa must have gone crazy to like someone like him. There has been no musical accompaniment since they were in the office together. Kurosawa wraps the scarf around Adachi’s neck and Adachi hears Kurosawa’s inner monologue, cataloging the things he likes about Adachi.

This speech is obviously a turning point for Adachi, but we can be more specific than that. For Kurosawa’s first couple of points, we’re still in silence, and Adachi is looking down. We can imagine that he’s doing his own mental list that starts something like “yeah but…” But after the line “He’s actually an extremely kind and nice guy,” Adachi looks up at Kurosawa, and finally, after two whole minutes of silence in the soundtrack, a new kind of cue comes in.

This new cue is the antithesis of the rest of the soundtrack. It’s fully acoustic (with a little bit of reverb) and played on the piano, an instrument that the composer has not yet used. What’s more, the fragment that the piano repeats is completely unstable. We have no idea what key we’re in (yet. Spoiler, it’ll be A-major, eventually). [warning: technical stuff starts here, if you don’t care about specifics, jump to the /endTechnical tag] It starts with a first inversion D-major chord (in later iterations, IV^6) that attempts to resolve to G-D-A which is NOT a chord, or rather, it could be any number of chords but without a 3rd somewhere in there we don’t know which it is.

Ok, ok, so, resolution failed. Let’s try again! D-major^6 and then instead of going down to D, the A goes up a M3 to C-sharp, making G-E-C-sharp - WHOOPS that’s a tritone, less resolution than the first time. To be fair, the tritone is pretty far apart, and there’s an E floating around in the middle, so it doesn’t feel as teeth grinding-ly gross as your average Danse Macabre, but it SURE AS HELL doesn’t feel resolved either. [/endTechnical]

And we go back and forth between these two VERY unresolved phrases. It’s like we’re (read: Adachi is) stuck asking new questions that he doesn’t have any answers for. It’s unsettling and we spend almost 30 seconds just sitting there feeling unresolved, trying again and again in different octaves, with slightly different notes in the (almost inaudible) string parts-- nothing works. Adachi is not ready to move beyond the questions themselves, so the music doesn’t either, ending on a high unresolved note with Kurosawa’s “Wait.”^

And that’s IT. No resolution. The next musical cue is after enough dead space that our metaphorical ear palate has been cleansed (which is good, cause we jump from quasi-A major to a sequential figure with at least FOUR FLATS - about as distant a key as you can get). To get resolution for the Questioning cue, we’re going to have to wait.

And wait and wait, because that’s it for tonight yall! Episode 2 coming tomorrow!

Continue to part 2

[Although, real quick, before we move on to Episode 2, I just wanna mention that I love that Adachi’s fears about Kurosawa’s crush are scored with a very speedy bebop style cue while Kurosawa’s actual fantasies might as well be a Bach Oratorio COMPLETE WITH METRONOME, because if you needed to shorthand “antithesis” musically I’m not sure I could think of a better way of doing it, short of using screamo metal and Hildegard von Bingen lol.]

*All video timings and quotes are from Irozuku Subs videos. If you’re watching somewhere else, your mileage may vary slightly.

^As an English speaker I love the parallelism in how American English speakers use a rising tone to indicate questions, but I don’t know enough about Japanese to know if that transfers.

#cherry magic #cherry magic! thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard?! #adachi kiyoshi #music meta #someone: can you tell me more about the music? Me: OH BOY CAN I!!! #Look if Ao3 had an audience for ACTUAL ACADEMIC ANALYSIS PAPERS that I don't have to do footnotes and academic english for #I would be the most prolific author they ever had #(not really but also yes really) #acafandom