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canisalbus · 30 days

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Vachete Suomi AU. Vesuri ja Vaski asuvat suuressa kylässä jossain sisämaassa kaukana suurista kaupungeista kuten Turusta. Kirkonkylän pappi, Vesuri, yrittää parhaansa mukaan vakuuttaa kyläläisiä kasvattamaan perunaa, koska se on satoisa ja ravitseva kasvi mutta kyläläiset eivät tahdo luopua nauriista. Vaski on kartanonvoudin poika ja yrittää pitää suhteita yllä kyläläisiin, että he olisivat suostuvaisia maksamaan veroja kuninkaalle eivätkä hyökkäisi hänen isänsä kimppuun.

Loose translation:

Finnish Vaschete AU.

Vesuri (a type of pruning knife/billhook) and Vaski (brass/copper/bronze) live in a big village somewhere inland, far away from the country's populous cities like Turku (Finland's oldest city and former capital located in the southwestern coast). The village priest, Vesuri, is trying his best to persuade the villagers to start farming potato, a high-yielding and nourishing crop, but people are reluctant to give up their turnips (one of Finland's most important staple foods up until 1800's when potato finally took over). Vaski is the son of a local lord of the manor (or maybe you'd call it bailiff? Or even jarl?) and is doing his best to get along with the villagers so that they would continue paying their taxes to the king and wouldn't turn against his dad.

#I'm not sure how you'd translate kartanonvouti #an official who governs a piece of land and is responsible for collecting taxes for the king you know the deal #I would've called Machete kassara which is a synonym for vesuri #but then you could call him “käsikassara” which is a derogatory term for a person who does someone else's dirty work #and that's what he does and why he's called Machete #I don't know if you're aware anon but Vasco was named that because his colors reminded me of vaski #anonymous #answered #Vaschete scenarios #Finland was converted from catholicism to protestantism in early 1600's and potatoes were first introduced here around 100 years later #so in this case he's either catholic and a true potato trailblazer ahead of his time #or this takes place after the reformation and he's lutheran but potatoes are slowly being adopted it's the villagers who are anti-potato #I don't know what I'm talking about

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allastoredeer · 3 months

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"Lucifer fell first, Alastor fell harder." I fully commit to the theory that RadioApple took off officially the moment Alastor saw Lucifer's full demon form.

From: (⊙‿⊙)

To: (◉‿◉)

And not for the reason anyone might think looking at him.

Angel: Damn, power really that attractive to him?

Husk: In that Alastor has never wanted to eat someone more than he does right now? Yes.

Lucifer went from snack-size to full-course meal, and well, the way to Alastor's heart is through his stomach. The other feelings got sorted out later. XD

I am 100% on board with Alastor being attracted to power. Like, yeah, Lucifer's cute. Once you get past all the annoying bits, he's not TOO bad to be around. His apple still isn't as cool as a microphone, but it's okay. At least he's an appreciator of canes.

And then DEMON MODE and Alastor just

I actually haven't really gotten into the headcanon/fandom trope of Alastor wanting to eat and/or drink Lucifer's blood. But as an ace with the closest thing they've ever felt to attraction being full body armor/outfits (think the Mandalorian, the Black Panther suit (both T'Challa's and Shuri's), Death from Good Omen, etc...<- I'm not even making that up, if there's anything I've felt that I'd classify as attractive, it's people covered head-to-toe with not a piece of their body showing, usually with a modulated voice), this is me projecting onto Alastor, but in the form of ultimate demon power.

Alastor: I would never have sex with Lucifer.

Lucifer: *goes demon mode*

Alastor:

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candyheartedchy · 4 months

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I think since spongebobs not afraid to be girly, you should draw coralbob doing each other's makeup

Okay

#i have no idea why I put so much effort into this response but here you go anon #💌 letters 💌#anonymous #❤️ coralbob ❤️#self insert #self ship #🎨 chy creations 🎨

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hellsite-hall-of-fame · 11 months

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Wait, girl in red? Are you female??

no i’m a ✨mystery✨

….but actually yes lmaooo

#i’m still a ✨mystery✨!!!#and this blog is like in my head a separate entity of myself as like a person?#lmao but yes #also why’d you phrase is like that anon?? lmao #anyways #alexa play girl in red #ask #the hellsite answers #anonymous #hellsite hall of fame curator’s bullshit #also #I woke up to this ask and was like ‘nope can’t answer bc mystery✨’#but also then I remembered like 90% of the people on here think i’m like an 80 year old man😭#which is absolutely hilarious and adds to the lore #but I got called ‘LITTLE MAN’ in an ask #and like 1. that’s absolutely hilarious #2. even if I was a little man why would you call someone that in an ask bc it so hilariously condescending lmao #and so yeah lmao #oh also i’ve literally posted my spotify on here (which everyone should check out and totally not get rickrolled in the process :)#but I put actual playlists at the bottom and those are. like. so wlw #so anyways yeah #alexa play girl in red even louder

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clairenatural · 7 months

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hey sorry to ask you but what is the destiel lamppost thing? if u know what it is

Hi anon!!! I wasn't ignoring you I just wanted to be able to sit down and type out the lore.

So "why lamp"/the destiel lamp thing starts with 15x10, The Heroes' Journey, in which Dean and Sam are stripped of the luck/protections that being written as protagonists gives them by Chuck (very meta) and Dean ends up needing cavities filled.

Garth gives him laughing gas for the procedure, during which Dean has a dream of a black and white 50s style dance sequence. It takes place in the bunker and while initially it's Dean dancing with Garth, eventually Garth leaves and Dean runs over to pick up a lamp from the corner of the room to dance with. Here's the whole thing:

youtube

But once it's Dean and the lamp, the dance becomes markedly more romantic - he's dancing with the lamp as a partner, not like the tap dancing he and Garth do side-by-side.

Also important to note that they're dancing to "Let's Misbehave," which is about sex and also was written by Cole Porter, who was gay. This is a really good breakdown of the dance itself, the significance of the song and Cole Porter and its connections to old queer Hollywood.

At the end of the episode, Dean sees Bess and Garth dancing in their living room through the window and says "You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be."

This is pretty clearly associating the dream sequence, and Dean dancing with a lamp, as about Dean longing for a partner and therefore the lamp as a stand-in for that partner.

NOW. Meta was written as soon as this episode aired with people linking the lamp to Cas, and there has continued to be much better meta than I can write here - this one is in-depth and connects it to themes across the seasons and Dean's years-long character arc. "Cas is Lamp" even has its own superwiki page.

But besides all the normal meta deancas reasons and the fact that this comes at a time when Dean's character arc had been building both to him wanting to settle down with someone AND that someone being Cas (this is the episode right after The Trap and Dean's "I should have stopped you/of course I forgive you" prayer), Cas (and angels broadly) is associated with light and lamps throughout the series, perhaps most iconically in 4x16.

So, after 15x18, "the lamp thing" was something frequently cited and that we held onto as another thing they'd dropped alluding to (nay, ensuring - because they'd surely somehow have to wrap up Dean's own arc of wanting a partner to settle down with) a happy deancas endgame where Cas is rescued and they live happily ever after.

And then. 15x20 happened. And "why lamp" took off as part of a long list of "if they were just never going to mention Cas again, let alone resolve the confession or this very key part of Dean's story arc of wanting to settle down, why did they include [long list of things that make no sense with the ending we got]." Why lamp has become shorthand for a long list of missing links and loose ends and things that just don't add up. If deancas wasn't going to be the happy endgame, then why lamp. Why did they drop so many clues and work up to a very clear resolution for Dean's character arc if they were just going to drop it. Why lamp. It's one of those things that will haunt us because we will never get an answer. Okay grandma, let's get you to bed. But why lamp.

#ok im assuming this is what you meant by destiel lamppost thing lol #if it wasnt im sorry and behind on the times #but there is another anon in my inbox asking about why lamp so hopefully this helps them!#answered #anonymous #long post

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the-rouxls-kaard-official · 3 months

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*sends him fanmail (present boxes with big frilly bows that are filled to the brim with slimy, filthy worms, the moisture leaching through the bottom and causing the cardboard to sag)*

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miekasa · 2 years

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when your children are still babies, they get so so upset when gojo comes home and doesn’t immediately pick them up. your baby has recently learned that the sound of the front door opening and closing usually signals the return of their father so tonight, when the door opens, your baby’s head perks up. when he finally takes his shoes off and makes his way into the home, he spots his little angel on the couch. “hi baby!” he coos at them with a smile on his face and his hands full with some packages. “let me go put these down and i’ll be right back!” he tries to explain, to which your baby just obliviously smiles at, just happy to see their father and know that he’s giving them attention. but when they realize that he’s leaving their sight and didn’t immediately pick them up… oh have mercy. it becomes a shit storm because who does he think he is?? to not give his baby all his time and attention! gojo comes running back into the living room confused as to why they’re crying but as soon as he picks them up, they stop crying and start giggling. what a dramatic little baby you’ve been blessed with. the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree ig

— doc dad levi anon

SHUT UPPPPP because you know Satoru loves the attention too, they’re a perfect match together bye. All you can do is stand, bemused, as Satoru picks up the baby and almost instantly quells his crying, rocking him back and forth before stretching his arms to hold the kid at eye level with him and cooing, “Oh, I’m sorry my love, I missed you too, soooooo much,” Satoru bends his arms to brush their noses together and grin at the giggles the baby emits, “You missed me too, yeah? Aren’t you the sweetest little thing, missing me like that? So precious.” Satoru covers the baby in kisses and sweet words for nearly five straight minutes and they both love to bask in each other’s attention (you have the videos to prove it).

Something kinda funny tho is… you’re 98% sure your son can tell that Satoru will give into quickest lmfaoo. Your baby cries sometimes when you have to leave him, sure, and can definitely throw a fit when he wants your attention—but he seems to know to cry (or squeal, or babble, or screech) on demand for his sucker of a father. Nanami, Shoko, Megumi, and Yuuta (your on rotation band of baby sitters) have noticed that the kid loves to be held and has no shame gesturing for it—but they’ve never experienced the baby crying when they so much as step away for a moment, unless he’s hungry or needs to be changed. You don’t have the heart to tell Satoru he’s being played tho, so you just let them have their moment <333 (not that it would matter, Satoru can’t stand to see your kid cry in any capacity, so he’d go right back to giving in; plus it’s a win-win in his book anyway: baby stops crying, and he gets cuddles from his son).

(Then again, you think the need and love for attention might just be genetic, because Satoru has cried big tears a handful of times just leaving you and your baby at home for a few hours).

#anonymous #satoru ‘i’m not crying i’m just. really fucking SAD OKAY I MISS THEM!!!!’ gojo #satoru: maybe my eyes are misty!! so what!!! there’s a lady and baby gojo waiting for me at home and i’m HERE! I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!#can we talk about your lineup of babysitters tho LMFAOO #you have basically a father number 2 (the one u call on the most bc let’s be real. why wouldn’t you) + the kid ADORES him #also you can leave the kid w nanami for like. more than a day shoukd something happen. he’s the best #he’s gentle he’s reliable he’s safe he just. best godfather fr #shoko who the baby is obviously Safe with in the literal medical sense but god she needs a nap more than he does LMFAO #baby seems to like her tho and she’s always like ‘i can’t believe this is /satoru’s/ spawn’#megumi is basically the kids older brother for all intents and purposes and the baby loves him :(#megumi gets the most squishes (see gently smacked with a baby palm) and kisses and megumi just. allows it :((( so cute :(((#yuuta whos always like you..:. are you sure you want ME to babysit? and then is a natural bye #like wdym you got him to eat the steamed cauliflower AND not spill his yogurt AND only have one outfit change?#anon u make me YEARN #gojo x reader #satoru.ask

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qqueenofhades · 1 year

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are you old enough to have ever used CDs regularly? im getting a car soon (used, its old enough that it doesnt have bluetooth and only has a CD player for music) so i went to buy some of my favorite albums in CD form and i had to go to a literal antique store to find them. it made me feel old and im only like 18

Oh honey. I first used CASSETTES. CDs were just starting to be new and trendy when I was a kid. I went to BLOCKBUSTER to RENT A VIDEOTAPE. I had to pick what I wanted to watch with my sisters ahead of time, then drive to the store and GET THE VIDEO. If they didn't have it, we had to get something else, then watch it, then rewind it, then drive it back. If we wanted to see something in the theater, we had to CHECK THE LISTING IN THE NEWSPAPER. Or call the theater and listen to the recorded messages of showtimes. Man oh man.

#anonymous #ask #'are you old enough to have used CDs regularly'#excuse me i have to CRUMBLE INTO DUST #did you have to read me for filth so hard anon 😭#but also AN ANTIQUE STORE WHY

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andreal831 · 3 months

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Do you think that Hayley/Elijah/Jackson could’ve potentially worked as a throuple? 👀

I actually laughed when I read this question. Not because I think it would be impossible but because I think it would be absolutely wild. Maybe if the show was being run by more interesting people we could have had a storyline like this. It would make sense.

I mean on one hand, we have Hayley and Elijah who are in love and on the other hand we have a forced marriage. If anyone was going to have a throuple, they were primed for it. I have said it before but I don't believe the unification magic is so aware that Hayley and Elijah couldn't have stayed in a relationship. Also, no one proposed the idea of a throuple. I feel like that would have worked for the magic aspect of it.

If it did work, Hayley would have had to be the one to introduce it, and you know she would have. Hayley, especially at that time, was definitely a 'have your cake and eat it too' kind of person. And that is not a critique on her. She knew what she wanted and she went for it. So why not bring up the idea to the men.

Elijah would have been on board. He had been pinning after Hayley for like two years at that point and would have jumped at the opportunity to be with her in any way possible. He also has lived so long that I don't think it would have been strange to him. I joke that I love jealous Elijah but we really didn't get many scenes where he was obviously jealous. I feel like he was just, essentially, too old for that teen drama. So it wouldn't have bothered him that Hayley was also with Jackson. Especially because it would mean he got to be with her as well. Jackson would have been resistant for a variety of reasons. I can see him saying "That's not how we do things." But there definitely was a power imbalance there so I could see him caving and agreeing, but resenting it. So not a healthy throuple.

However, overtime, I could see Jackson and Elijah finding common ground. People love to say the men are so different, but they really aren't. They just wear different clothes. Jackson is more like a Mikaelson than he or the fandom want to admit. Jackson treats his pack similar to how the Mikaelsons treat their family. I think this is something Elijah and he could bond over. They've both had to make tough decisions, even bad decisions, in order to protect the ones they love. They've both also messed up a lot. They also both cared for Hayley and Hope which would likely be the first common ground they could come to.

I also love to think over time, given the chance, Elijah and Jackson would become friends. I can just see Jackson talking about hunting or some nature thing and Elijah just casually asking questions, trying to pretend he's not that interested. We view Elijah as an uptight business man, but let's not forget he was originally a farmer/warrior from what is present day Virginia. Elijah is a country boy. I would love a scene where Jackson is surprised by Elijah's knowledge of farming or hunting and then Hayley walks into an intense discussion about crop yields or the best way to skin a deer.

To me, it wouldn't ever be a true throuple, it would more likely be an open relationship. I just never got queer vibes from Jackson, but who knows. But if the show had focused more on character development and family, and less on drama, we may have actually seen a begrudging friendship and mutual respect from the two men. And Hayley would have truly benefited from that. But we all know how little Julie likes to let women have control over their relationships.

Thanks for the ask! These are always so fun for me.

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arttsuka · 24 hours

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augustus making friends with the easter island moai head and they both bond over not having a body

🗿

The sketch because it turned out good (and honestly I was terrified that I'd ruin it when I tried to color it) and the Moai before I decided to attempt a background (it was too empty with the white background, I felt bad)

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humbuns · 10 months

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does xy have anyone they cannot stand at all?

Funny enough, none whatsoever, which I think it's both a flaw and strength of theirs because they don't take anything personally and it will take a lot to get them extremely mad (and boy, if you reach that level with him, you must have pissed them off)

So while some may annoy him or make them tired, he will straight up ignore them and just move on with his business even if you like it or not

#obey me mc #this is why i wrote a fic about belphie absolutely agonizing why he isn't hated by him after lesson 16 #Xy just accepted that it was expected and was glad to see the ending of it lol #anyways kissing all anons who send me asks about xy cause this is so much fun to think about in-between comms #doodles #letters #anonymous #oc: xy

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gojuo · 1 year

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Showrunners claiming being "feminist" is the whole circus. They screwed every woman's characterization for high Rhaenyra up:

Book!Helaena was an political advisor who usually participated on Councils,don't shy away from disagreeing with Aegon and he actually listens her advises. She was incredibly loved by the smallfolk and was brave enough to claim Dreamfyre. On the show she did not even have a Coronation or her crown neither(another woman wearing a crown except Rhaenyra is a crime).

Book!Alicent was a witty,smart and incredibly charismatic woman dutiful at the old King Jaehaerys and her sons. She was so interesting: she was disrespected on so many ways for Viserys and had every right to be upset. No other woman in Westeros had to suffer having her first born son be desinherited and ignored by his father (except Ellia from the show and on the book Jon is just a bastard) Alicent,Helaena and Aegon could had been such incredible characters on the show

The Helaena treatment is ssoooooo beyond evil. I can't believe that this fandom is still bitching about the same old tired 3 talking points months after season 1 has finished but not a single peep about how misogynistic the writers have been towards Helaena.

Being beloved by the Smallfolk is not something that randomly happens. It has to be a deliberate move, because technically, Helaena is a public figure and near every public outing she makes has to be a thought-out decision to a certain extent. She can't just willy-nilly go out into the streets of King's Landing, mingling with the people and getting to know them and have an impact on them in such a way that they would love her so much to rise up in revolt in her name. In a way, the cultivation of her public image is reminiscent of Margaery, with one major difference: no deliberate manipulation at play. There is, after all, not a single indication anywhere in any canon that Helaena was a manipulative person in the way that Margaery was, no. What this was — what the Smallfolk adoring her was — was the tangible proof of Helaena's bravery to be out in the streets with the people of King's Landing, the fortitude of her to break down the invisible line between high-born royalty and low-born commoners, a testament to her graciousness and gentility and the affirmation of her adventurous heart. She was the first one of the Targtower siblings to claim a dragon, she showed her political acumen when she and her mother drafted the more than generous peace terms for Aegon to send to Rhaenyra, she had an incredibly complex relationship with her husband who she shares such a horrific trauma-bond with which is, to this day, still unparalleled by any other couple in this entire franchise, and she was a truly witty and humorous person ...

... and all of that characterization was thrown out of the window for the show. She is an extra to someone else's story in every. single. scene. she appears in. Her first scene as a child was to cement to the audience how "weird" and "unorthodox" she is. To show the audience that she is now on the autism-spectrum apparently. She is a dragon dreamer but all she does is utter some vague one-sentence prophecies no one can make any sense of, now always having to live psychologically in isolation because of this, which is the complete opposite of how life was for her in Fire and Blood. She speaks two or three sentences during the dinner scene, and it was to service the contrast between Jace and Aegon as people, it wasn't about her. We get a two-second shot at her children and she isn't even interacting with them. Do not even get me started on how the show completely erased how Helaena used to bring the kids to Viserys every single night to sit down together and hear him speak of tales of the past as he lay dying. These passages in the book weren't without reason, they were there to humanize all four of them — Helaena, Jaehaerys, Jaehaera, and Maelor — and to garner sympathy from the reader. Blood and Cheese is one of the most disgusting things to have ever happened in all of the books, but the brutalization of all of these characters was that much more awful because we had actually spent some time together with them in the text, because we had gotten to see them be loved, because we had actually gotten to know them, even if only a little. And the show erased every single fucking thing concerning this point. Everything.

And if that wasn't enough, showrunners and writers then went on to make her an extra during her own coronation scene. That coronation was about Helaena just as much as it was about Aegon and they fucking took that from her! And for what? For what did they change her character this much? All to turn her into the fucking female lead of a fucking incestuous love triangle which is a fucking plotline straight ripped off from three fucking different characters in a different fucking part from canon. FUCKKKKK!!!!

Don't even get me started on Alicent. They gave her raw as fuck book character and motivations and narrative purpose to fucking Otto of all people in the show. She has become the abeyance of her own storyline! And instead of the fandom putting attention to this type of misogynistic writing Helaena and Alicent have been victim of by the writers, I'm having to suffer through the same played-out takes on how being an Aegon fan means being a rape apologist or how Alicent is an evil person because Helaena doesn't like to be touched. For fuck's sake GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!

#anti hotd #hotd critical #helaena #alicent #i have an ask abt alicent in my inbox im gonna go more into depth on her character there so thats why i kept it short here anon #hotd #anonymous #answered

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allastoredeer · 8 days

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What funny for me it's when I see some people in radioapple fandom saying why they can't see Alastor as a bottom is because "he would never be a bottom because of his ego!" (and right under a post with b!Alastor content, the nerve)

Meanwhile Lucifer, King of all Hell, Sin of Pride personified, the man who stole Adam's first wife and claimed to do the same with the second, and had two songs about how great he is compared to others: am I a joke to you?

EXACTLY! Preach Anon!

Lucifer's ego is just as big, if not bigger, than Alastor's. I was rewatching the show recently, and during the "Dad Beat Dad" episode, literally the only person he was nervous, bumbling, or awkward around was Charlie (and Vaggie, to a certain degree considering she's Charlie's girlfriend).

In every other interaction he was smug, arrogant, indifferent, unimpressed, or downright dismissive. His whole song with Alastor was just him flexing his power and getting more and more insecure & angry about how "close" Alastor and Charlie were. I think people forget that Lucifer is the Sin of Pride, and you can 100% see it in his behavior towards the other characters. Obviously, he got closer to the Hazbin Crew, especially during the last song in the finale, but that doesn't make his ego magically disappear.

And I love that about him.

I find his huge capacity to love (both Charlie and creation) so endearing, but it's better and so much more interesting, when it's paired with the fact that his ego gets bruised so easily. He's the most powerful being in Hell, while also being insecure as fuck, while also being the personification of Pride itself. Is that not the tastiest, most delectable character to ever character????

Look, yes, Lucifer is depressed. He and Lilith got divorced. He and Charlie were estranged to each other for years. He lost his will to dream after being cast out from Heaven. He spent all his time making little rubber ducks, locked away in his room. But that doesn't, by any means, make the man humble.

If you look at Alastor and say he's got too big of an ego to bottom, and then turn around and make Lucifer the most bottomy bottom ever, then I say go back and rewatch the show, cuz you're missing a few very important factors. Especially if you're basing someone's capacity to bottom on ego alone. (I, personally, love it when prideful, egotistical characters bottom. It's so much fun).

Mostly just...hhhhhh, please stop stripping away all of my short-kings most interesting characteristics. I don't want a small, wide-eyed, easily manipulated little UwU soft boi. I want snarky, powerful as fuck, insecure, egotistical, provocative short-king who gets pissy when his daughter talks to a homicidal deer man with a silly haircut instead of him (while also being very soft, loving, and caring). He's multi-faceted, and that's what makes him interesting.

Once again, this isn't me getting after people who enjoy top!Alastor and bottom!Lucifer. Do what you want, I hope you're having fun. Just don't go commenting below other people's posts with shit like "Alastor wouldn't bottom because of his ego," when Lucifer is just as much of an egotistical little shit as he is.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#wow I have a lot of feelings about this apparently #they were just holed up and compressed inside my body #waiting to be let otu #but I mean eveyr word #i don't like top!Alastor or bottom!Lucifer #but you don't see me commenting below peoples top!A and bottom!L posts about how much I disliked it #you can't base ego on someone's preference for bottoming and topping anyway #people are more complex than that #and besides #Lucifer is just as egotistical as Alastor #he just shows more outward affection and love #that's it #idk this is why I curate the stuff I interact with #Imma take all the bottom Alastor's thank you very much #thanks for the asks anon!#you are so right!#anon #asks #anonymous #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar #the radio demon #hazbin hotel alastor #appleradio #radioapple #bottom!Alastor #top!Lucifer

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sailor-aviator · 3 months

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Can't believe we have to address this yet again, but here we are.

If you don't like a fic, then stop reading it. You're not doing something by messaging the author to say you thought certain plot points were unnecessary or that you didn't like the fic, ESPECIALLY when you hide behind the anonymous feature. You're not cool. You're certainly not cute. It's lame, loser behavior actually.

I'm so sorry that some of you were discouraged from having fun for the sake of having fun and creating for the sake of creating, but that doesn't mean you get to come on here or other platforms and harass authors for having the courage to put their works out there for other people to consume.

There's a HUGE difference between constructive criticism and just flat out being an asshole. Constructive criticism is "I can tell you put a lot of energy into this, but this bit was a little confusing to me," or "I really liked the dialogue between these two characters, and I would love to see more of them moving forward," or "I loved this part in the prose. Do you think you could expand on that in future chapters?"

Constructive criticism is NOT "I didn't like your fic. It was too boring," or "there was too much unnecessary drama in this," or "it was too short." This is all just criticism and it can really hurt people's feelings. Writing is a skill, and just like every other skill, it takes practice to get better. Sure, some people are naturally gifted at it, but anyone can and should do it if they want!

At the end of the day, like all of us have said time and time again, we are not machines. The things you say to us can hurt us and discourage us from continuing our hobby. It's okay to not like fics. There are several fics I don't like and tropes I don't like. Do you know what I do when I come across one? I stop reading and keep scrolling. I don't anonymously message the author to tell them how much I didn't like it. You know why? Because it's unnecessary behavior.

It truly feels like there is a small group of you on here that are so determined to make this place as miserable as possible, and I think you need to do some serious introspection as to why that is because you're going to run content creators off and then sit here wondering why no one wants to write fics anymore.

Build each other up, y'all, for real. And if you don't see a fic you want to read or you think you can do better? Write your own fics.

#i'm so tired of seeing content creators get shit on here #how many times do we have to go over this?#we are not machines #it costs nothing to be nice to others #that anonymous button makes some of you so bold truly #it's gotten to the point where i post something and i just sit here and wait for someone to send in a hate anon #that's fucked up #thankfully i haven't gotten any hate anons recently but I think i know why that is #i'm not gonna get into all that though because that's unnecessary #anyway

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taizi · 9 months

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could you write something about the crew saving sanji from captivity, like maybe he was caught by marines or somthing, and they hadnt been feeding him, and the crew gets to cook for sanji for once or something like that?

It made sense that they would run into a halfway intelligent Marine grunt sooner or later.

“You don’t fight with your hands much,” he said, opening the file on the table in between them. “Weak arms? Nah, I’ve never heard of a sailor with weak arms. There must be another reason.”

He wasn’t anyone special. Sanji was familiar enough with the uniforms by now to tell at a glance that he wasn’t decorated the way the real heavy hitters were. Chief Petty Officer, maybe. Warrant Officer at best.

Sanji was a Straw Hat. He wasn’t going to break a sweat for anyone less than a Vice-Admiral. He made sure to say as much, to clear up any misunderstandings. The officer didn’t appreciate hearing it for some reason.

He put out a hand without looking up from the file. A guard by the door stepped forward and placed something in his palm.

It was a ball-peen hammer.

“You’re the cook. That’s why you protect your hands. You wouldn’t have a place in that famous crew of yours if you lost those.”

“Well, you’re partly right, at least,” Sanji admitted. “For someone stupid enough to spectacularly piss my captain off, that’s far more than I expected.”

The extraction team arrived in the form of an unhinged skeleton and a six-foot-tall reindeer that tossed his knife-point antlers hard enough to put a decent-sized hole in the doorframe, but only after two fingers were mangled on Sanji’s right hand and one was freshly broken on his left.

The officer whirled around at the sudden appearance of uninvited company—surprised for just a moment, and then gray-faced with fear.

“About time,” Sanji snarked, and wrenched his shackled hands hard enough that the chain links binding him to the floor snapped. He stood, stretched his spine, and flicked a disinterested look at the Marine officer, who went melting towards the back of the room on legs that wobbled like jelly. Disregarding him, Sanji added, “Did Robin have time to get those files she wanted? I stalled for ages.”

For a beat, neither of his nakama answered him. Then Brook’s jaw made a cracking noise like a gunshot, the way it does when he’s grinding his teeth, and Chopper shrieked, “Your hands!!”

Sanji glanced down at them. “Oh, yeah. Our mutual friend over there wasn’t very creative.”

It hurt like a bitch, but it was far from the worst thing he’d ever felt. If it had gone much further, he might have seriously considered deviating from the plan, but a few broken bones? His brothers used to do that just for fun.

Brook tossed his guitar over his shoulder, where it hung against his back by the strap looped across his chest, and withdrew his sword instead.

“I can be very creative,” he said, sing-song.

“We’re leaving!” Chopper proclaimed, and herded Sanji toward the door with his antlers. Sanji went, amused by the pushiness.

It’s much less amusing an hour later, when his fingers are splinted and wrapped carefully, and Chopper tells him in no uncertain terms that he’s banned from work until Chopper’s satisfied with how they’ve healed.

Sanji agrees easily, because Chopper is equal parts adorable and terrifying when it comes to the health and safety of their family. But when he slips into the galley to begin preparing supper, the reindeer is right on his heels, scolding, “Sanji! That’s work!”

“Hardly,” he scoffs. Then, “Wait, are you serious?”

Chopper throws up his little hooves, as exasperated as any healthcare professional four times his age. “Why would I joke? Your bones are broken. Put down that spatula or I’ll scream!”

Sanji puts down the spatula. He’s never felt this wrong-footed before in his life. What does one do in a kitchen they aren’t allowed to cook in? He shifts his weight and looks sideways at the pantry.

“Oh my god,” Nami says. She points at the table. “Sit.”

“This feels kind of absurd,” he says.

“So it’s completely on-brand, then,” Usopp says, frog-marching him to a chair. “Good to know.”

Sanji lets himself be bullied with a scowl, and tucks his hands under the table where they can’t get him into any more trouble. Zoro, from the other side of the table, snorts into his tankard. Carrot drapes herself over Sanji’s shoulders, faux-sympathetic, but her chest rumbles with subvocal animal laughter. Franky and Jimbei are grinning openly.

It’s not funny. It’s time to eat. After all that action, their bodies need to replenish nutrients. They need carbs and proteins. He could at least be making smoothies while everyone argues with him—he can multitask!

Luffy, whose face has been a thundercloud ever since they returned to Sunny, leaving the Marine base actively on fire in their wake, brightens suddenly.

“I got it!” he announces, and that’s his trainwreck tone of voice. The very familiar, always inevitable, ‘you can try to stop me but it’ll just end in tears if you do’ tone of voice. Sanji braces himself, but nothing could have prepared him for Luffy cheerfully declaring, “We’ll make dinner!”

“Uh, no,” Sanji says quickly.

“Captain’s orders,” Robin says peacefully.

She was angry with him before—in that careful, soft-spoken way she gets angry with her nakama that always leaves them feeling lower than dirt—for letting himself get hurt in even this unremarkable capacity. But now she meets his eyes with a smile that only the people aboard this ship are privileged to see, and he fumbles his half of the argument before he even has a chance to make it.

Within that time, half his crew have migrated to the kitchen proper, and Nami is heaving open the huge recipe book that lives in place of pride on the counter.

“Hey, hey, Sanji!” Luffy yells. “What do you want to eat?”

“This is really unnecessary,” he says, shifting to stand. Carrot becomes deadweight on his back, dangling there like the world’s weirdest scarf.

“We’ll survive without five star food for a few days,” Jimbei says dryly. “If I were you, I’d answer their question before they take matters into their own hands and decide for you.”

In the kitchen, things are already rapidly devolving. There’s a lot of clamoring around and shoving of shoulders. This crew would never agree on anything they couldn’t argue about for hours first. Luffy clambers up onto Yamato’s back to get a bird’s-eye view of the recipe book, stretching an arm over Nami’s own shoulder to point out every dish that catches his eye. Yamato is a cheerful, agreeable jungle-gym, not even batting an eye when Luffy’s grip on one of his horns causes his head to tilt slowly to the left.

If Sanji had known letting that measly little officer play his shitty power games would end like this, he would have kicked the creep in the mouth hard enough to shut him up permanently.

He taps his bandaged fingers against his knees, frustrated and restless. Normally his friends’ stubbornness is weaponized against other people. He doesn’t like being on this end and he doesn’t understand why it’s happening.

“They want it to be special for you,” Zoro says suddenly, interjecting for the first time all night with that infallible wisdom he likes to pull out of thin air when it suits him. Then he takes another drink and adds, “God knows why.”

There’s nothing Sanji can do for a moment but stare at him. From the corner of his eye, he can see Robin and Jimbei’s knowing smiles, Franky looking as though he’s about to laugh. Carrot is still purring, tickled pink by the whole thing. All around them, Sunny shifts and groans as she bears them across the sea, and somehow it sounds like she’s in on it, too.

Sanji, who can’t remember the last time anyone cooked for him, refuses to feel touched. Honestly. This isn’t touching, it’s goddamn annoying—but he might as well let them have their fun, right?

“French toast,” he finally says. Not very loud, all things considered. But the anarchy in the kitchen comes to a sudden halt, and Luffy’s smile is bright enough to put that sun god lurking inside him to shame.

“With strawberries and cream,” he says importantly. “I remember! Sanji’s favorite!”

“Oh, that sounds good,” Yamato exclaims, still standing at a weird angle and unbothered by it. Next to him, Brook is imitating the pose, for no immediately apparent reason. “Do we have strawberries?”

“Strawberries!” Chopper yells, in what is either accord or a demand, and Usopp opens the fridge to investigate.

Sanji lets his chin sink into one of his hands, overseeing the chaos from his seat at the table. That itchy, uneasy feeling in his chest settles down. Now he just feels reluctantly fond.

He can’t help thinking about what the officer said to him back on the base.

Sanji is a cook, and he does protect his hands, but that’s the extent of what the self-important stranger got correct. Luffy would drag him back from hell if he died, so the idea of being cut free because his usefulness has expired is outright laughable. Sanji doesn’t need to secure his place here.

The reality is much simpler—providing food for the people that he loves is a privilege, one he doesn’t take lightly. It just honestly hadn’t occurred to him until now that the street goes both ways.

Dinner preparation takes twice as long as it should that night.

Somehow, it tastes twice as sweet.

#one piece #opfic #black leg sanji #tony tony chopper #nakamaship #my writing #op #prompt #anonymous #me pushing my french toast agenda #in my heart carrot and yamato joined the crew so thats why theyre both there #its canon to me and thats all that matters thanks for understanding #it isnt quite what u requested anon but i hope u like it anyway #food as a love language aka (one of) my ultimate weakness(es)

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