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sincerelynamkook · 5 years

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Sincerely, Namjoon

Namjoon x Reader First POV

Genre: Soft/Fluff/Romance Word Count: 1989

Playlist: “Brown Eyed Blues” by Adrian Hood

On a tiresome evening and day 1000000 of missing Joon, you receive an unexpected letter...

[P.S. This is the first fic in a series I’m working on called “Bangtan Love Letters.” Hope you like it!]

6:05 PM.

He hasn't called me or texted me. He usually calls during my lunch break because he knows how much I miss him and that his soothing voice is the only thing that gets me through my hectic work day. The fact that I haven’t heard from him all day is worrisome. I know he was still in NY today since they just finished their US leg of the tour so why the fuck hasn’t he called me?

I’m in the backseat of my Uber, stuck in traffic, contemplating whether or not to call him even though I know it’s highly unlikely he’ll answer due to their hectic schedule. I even contemplate texting Seokjin but he’ll probably just bring up the fact that I owe him homemade cookies since I lost our bet about whether Jungkook would cry at the last US show or not and I’m really not up for his mocking tone right now.

“Ma’am, we’re at your destination.” I hear my Uber driver say, bringing me out of my muddled thoughts. I quickly exit the car and walk up the steps to my apartment building, stopping at my mailbox to grab my mail and packages. That lavender oil and chamomile lotion I ordered for Joon the other day should’ve arrived. I take the elevator to the eighth floor, checking my phone every five seconds in case I missed a call or text. Nothing.

I enter my apartment and immediately charge my phone. My stress is at an all time high. I swear I’m going to kick his ass when I hear from him. I can’t live like this!

I take off my shoes, walk over to my floor to ceiling windows and open the blinds. I need some sunshine in my life at the moment. I grab my mail and packages and sit on my loveseat.

“Alexa play ‘Brown Eyed Blues’ by Adrian Hood.” I’m in the mood to feel even sadder I guess.

I decide to open my mail first and open up a few bills, ads, but then I come across a simple white letter envelope with no return address. My name and address are written in small dainty script. With a curious mind I open it carefully.

In it, is a handwritten letter. I bring it closer to me and I instantly get a whiff of his scent. My eyes get teary as I begin to read…

“My most precious sweets,

By now you’re probably wondering why I haven’t called or texted you. You’re probably sitting on your couch listening to ‘Brown Eyed Blues’ with your windows open. I wrote this letter 3 days ago knowing it would arrive today and that you’d be opening it around 6:45pm.” He knows me so well. My tears have begun to fall down my face.

“I wrote this letter as soon as we got off the phone because I instantly missed you. I’ve been gone for 3 months and it never gets easier being away from you. I was thinking back to the day we first met. It was back in 2017 right before the AMAs here in the states. You were prancing around Han River, drunk I might add, at 3 o’clock IN THE MORNING. Who in their right mind is out in Seoul at that time? Especially someone who was just visiting for a week? Now that I think about it, do you know how dangerous that is? Please don’t ever do that again baby. I’m so glad I’m the one that found you and not some creep.” I quietly laugh because at the time I did think he was a creep.

“But you looked so carefree and happy and so fucking beautiful. The moon was shining brightly on you and I could see the softness of your hair flowing in the wind as you twirled around and sang ‘Brown Eyed Blues.’ I know you don’t believe me when I tell you how beautiful your voice is but baby, that day I thought you were an angel that had come down from the heavens to explore this world. And then you messed up the lyrics, giggled loudly and almost tripped on the branches laying around and that was my chance to get close to you and be your knight in shining armor…until I also tripped and we came tumbling down on the ground. You laughed even louder thus making me laugh. But I knew, at 3:17 AM, when your face got close to mine, felt your soft breath on my neck and felt my heartstrings being pulled, I knew you were meant to be mine.” I am in full blown tears now, I get up to grab my box of tissues from my bedroom and hurry back to the couch to continue reading his letter.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but that day, at 3:17 AM, I fell in love with you. When you realized we were both still laying on the ground and that you were still in my arms, you looked up at me with those big brown eyes of yours and the world stopped for a few minutes. You slowly got up and gathered yourself, apologizing to me as if you were a burden bestowed upon me when in fact you were the greatest gift.”

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. He has to know that was the moment I fell in love with him too. When I calmed down from my high, and sobered up a bit from all the laughter that day, I looked up at him to find him smiling down at me with that dimple on full display. His hair, although it was mostly hidden by the big hoodie he had on, was that greyish/light brown hair I love so much and the wind was making it fall over his smiling eyes. I could feel his strength as he still held me tight in his arms. I don't know what it was, but I also felt my heartstrings being pulled. As if he was my red thread, the one I’ve been following all my life until it led me to him.

“You stood up and held out your hand to help me up. The moment I touched your skin I felt goose bumps crawl all over me. I held your hand tightly and stood up. You looked so shy, tucking your hair behind your ears and quietly thanked me. I remember stifling my laughter because you still looked so drunk but you were trying hard to sober up, which is why I asked you out for some coffee. I was afraid you’d reject my offer seeing as I was this complete stranger but when I saw your lips form the word yes my heart burst with joy. We walked side by side along Han river until we reached a small empty café that was still open. You ordered your complicated latte but when you said no whip cream I secretly smiled knowing that you’re the type of girl that likes to be extra but yet are still simple when you get to the core. I remember talking for hours and hours until the sun rose and you finally asked for my name. At this point I had already figured out your name but I was waiting to see if you had recognized me or not. When I told you my name, Namjoon, you rested your chin on your hand, squinted your eyes and said, ‘Namjoon? Like Kim Namjoon from BTS?’ I lifted my cup of coffee to my lips, smiled, and winked. From the few hours that we had known each other I learned you weren’t going to freak out like some crazy fangirl, but I also didn't expect your reaction of full on amazement.” I smile, remembering how speechless I was at finding out the guy who saved me from falling on my face was THE Kim Namjoon. I’m so glad I wasn't sober enough to actually freak out like the crazy fangirl I am.

“Your eyes got so big and you just said ‘wow.’ I laughed, thinking you were so adorable. When I asked you for your number, you were hesitant, but babe I’m glad you finally gave in and gave it to me. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if you weren’t in it these past two years. I know we don’t spend enough time together since I have such a hectic schedule but you never once complain about it and instead of being mad you have given me and my brothers so much love and support. I know they love you as much as I do.

You have brought so much love and happiness to my life. You are my muse. Every time I’m in the studio, you are the first thing that pops into my head when I’m writing lyrics. Every thing around me is centered around you and only you. I don’t ever want that to change.

By now, you’re probably sobbing like the big baby you are (even though you like to put up a front and act all tough).” I giggle knowing he’s right.

“I want to end with this; know that wherever I am, I am always thinking of you. I fall asleep with the image of you in my mind and I wake up ecstatic knowing you’re mine. Not a day goes by that I’m not hoping to be next to you, holding you in my arms, and breathing the same air as you. And even if I see you, I miss you. You’ve probably played ‘Brown Eyed Blues’ 15 times…but tell your Alexa to stop, and listen closely.”

Wait what?

I tell Alexa to stop playing music. I tilt my head, wondering if I’m crazy for doing what he asked me to do via a letter. After a few seconds I don't hear anything besides the birds chirping outside my window so I finish reading the letter.

What I find in the last paragraph are the lyrics to “Brown Eyed Blues” and I faintly hear the beat of the song outside my door but I pay it no mind thinking it’s Alexa still softly playing the song.

“She’s got those eyes, those eyes,

That’ll see right through you

When she leaves,

I wanna leave with her too

And she’s on, my mind

Like all, all the time

When we touch I go weak

And I can hardly speak

And I hope she thinks about me

Cause I’m always thinking of her”

I hear someone softly singing outside my door. My heart starts to beat rapidly. I walk slowly towards it, not ready to see who's on the other side. I hold the letter close to my heart as I reach the door knob.

I slowly open the door and find him standing there with his hands inside his pants pockets. His silver hair is styled neatly. He’s wearing his Katazurizome Yukata jacket that I love so much even though I give him shit all the time about how expensive it is.

My tears don't stop falling down my face. He takes a step closer, then another one, until he’s right in front of me softly wiping my tears away. His soothing voice is still singing our song…

“I just wanna hold her hand, be her man…” He grabs my free hand with his left and brings it to his chest, pulling me even closer to him. I let out a sob.

“I wanna know if she’d take a chance, Cause I’m still not revealing, Cause I still get the feeling, That loving her is a game I’ll always lose, I got the brown eyed blues”

He hugs me tight, I rest my head on his shoulder freely crying like a big baby.

“I missed you. And even when I see you, I still miss you” He softly whispers in my ear.

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symphonic--chaos · 4 years

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Someday Stars

Chapter 1/? Malec (Shadowhunters AU) Summary: Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane are both YouTube musicians who dream of making it big some day. When Simon Lewis and his band, Rock Solid Panda, go on tour and ask them to open for him, they both realize this could be their window to something greater.

Also here on AO3

Alec rushed around his apartment, creating a tornado's path with every step as his hands grabbed clothes as fast as they could. He knew he should have folded them after getting home from the laundromat last night. The email from Simon Lewis's management team still sat open on his laptop, which had been thrown unceremoniously to the end of his bed, the words still sitting on the screen: We will be back in New York City tonight and we would love to invite you to join our tour.If you will join us, you will be opening after Magnus Bane, and followed by Simon and the band. We will provide the bus, Simon does have room on his own. Please bring any merchandise you would like to sell. [Text from Izzy] OMG OMG OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS??????? YES, DO IT DO IT DO IT [Text from Izzy] while you're at it, get me some free tickets [Text from Mom] Oh, I'm so proud of you Alec! The book store and myself will be fine. Isabelle can help me. Go! I'm sure you'll make more money on the tour than here, anyway. We need to empty out your web store and send you with merch! [Text from Izzy] waIT I JUST SAW MAGNUS BANE IS THERE???!!!! TICKETS, BROTHER, YOU THREE ARE MY DREAM TOUR. [Text from Mom] Isabelle is screaming, I can hear her from downstairs. With each vibration Alec felt his anxiety grow, his hands shaking as he shoved the last thing he needed into the second suitcase. His eyes scanned over each text as he struggled to hold his phone, the smile growing on his face with each text they read. They lingered on the name Magnus Bane as he read Izzy's texts, he knew the name but he wasn't sure if he'd actually sat and listened to him. Both of them were musicians on YouTube aspiring to be as big as Simon had gotten, though according to Izzy, Magnus had just a slightly bigger following than Alec now because of the tour. Taking in a deep breath, Alec tilted his head back and closed his eyes, trying to focus himself on relaxing- he still had six hours until the tour reached New York City from their first shows in Boston and Hartford the previous nights.

"Alexa, start YouTube."

Alec said to the TV, releasing the button on the firestick as he moved into the kitchen. The cardboard of the pizza box he'd retrieved from within the fridge gave a dull thud as it was tossed onto the counter and a slice of cheese was taken out. "Magnus Bane," he said around a full mouth once he'd selected the search option, leaning against the counter as he watched the TV begin pulling up the search results. A few clicks had him on the fellow singers profile, his eyes scanning over the short bio on the About page. **NOW TOURING WITH ROCK SOLID PANDA** Singer/Pianist/Loverboy Web Shop Insta Twitter

Moving onto the main tab, Alec scrolled through, some of the highlighted ones being of Magnus sitting in a room decked out like a studio, or being in an actual studio. One or two was of him and a girl with a bright smile and dark eyes, her lips painted deep red and eyes with as much eyeliner as Magnus had. Alec noticed there was a trend of hearts on each video title with her in it, no doubt this was someone he liked or was dating and it came as no surprise, Alec thought as he took another bite of the pizza, Magnus was pretty attractive.

Scrolling to the top once more and finally selecting videos, he was surprised to see a video had been uploaded the day before, the preview screenshot much different than the bright, usually gold and purple themed photoshopped pictures he did in most of the videos Alec had scrolled past. This time is was Magnus illuminated on a stage by a single light from above, his head bowed as a grand piano sat at the mercy of his fingers. The picture was only titled HALLELUJAH, rather than the more descriptive titles on other videos.

Alec selected the video and moved to the couch to flop down with the pizza box. The camera shook a little, it was clear someone was holding it rather than it being on a tripod and self-shot. Alec wondered if it was someone from Simon's team or if Magnus had crew of his own- something Alec realized he didn't have any of which might create problems down the line. One of his dogs came over to the couch, a whine in her throat and vibrating against his knee as she rested her chin on him, looking longingly at the pizza in his hand as the piano started, soft and slow. Alec took a final bite before offering half of the crust to the dog, saving the other half for her brother.

Alec choked as he heard the voice come from his TV.

His whipped back to the screen as Magnus sang the first verse, his voice soft but firm like the notes being played on the piano. Despite the camera staying focused on Magnus and the piano as a whole, only moving as the person slowly circled the two, Alec couldn't stop staring at the look on Magnus's face. It didn't take a genius to know something was bothering him, that bright smile and lit up eyes from the video previews replaced by something dark, sad. His voice wasn't forced, but there was something in it that Alec knew all too well, he was singing this to someone- this upload was deliberate, a public liberation.

The camera came around to Magnus's side as he reached the second verse and once again his face was changing, sadness turning to anger and Alec could see the tears in Magnus's eyes. Alec's hand shifted on the remote, the volume on the screen going up as he leaned forward, not even noticing the other dog coming and slowly stealing the other crust half from his hand. “She tied you to her kitchen chair,” Alec could hear Magnus's voice getting louder, angrier, hearing the echo of both his singing and the piano echoing through the empty hall unveiled behind him as the person filming moved.

"And she broke your throne and she cut your hair," Magnus was hitting the keys harder. "And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah." Magnus's voice finally wavered, cracking as the pain seeped out in a moment of weakness, his fingers slammed down the final notes of the second verse before stilling. Alec's breath caught in his throat as he watched the singer take in a deep breath, the sound in the echoing silence monumental as the person filming paused, whether on purpose or a sudden feeling of remorse. "Hallelujah, hallelujah," It took a little under thirty seconds, but Magnus was playing again and this time, he was a broken man nearly whispering his lament. This was for the girl with the heart in her title. Alec finally found his breath as his lungs screamed for air, his heart pounding in his chest and, much to his surprise, his eyes stung with tears for the man on the screen. He didn't even know Magnus yet and already his heart was breaking with him as if he'd been through whatever relationship issues Magnus was having as well. Alec knew he put a lot of emotion in his music, thoughts and dreams into his lyrics, but here was someone who managed to bring him to a level he'd never reached before when listening to a performance. Whether it was the anger resurfacing or a sudden strength that Magnus had forgotten was in him, Alec came back to the moment when he heard Magnus singing the final verse of the song, his voice rising strong, normally low notes changed to high in such a beautiful time and contrast with the notes played on the piano, made his own and suddenly Alec could tell why Izzy was such a fan of the man on the screen. The final 'Hallelujah's' resonated through the hall, the camera recording him picking up each echo of the lyrics until the last note played and the echos faded away. Alec swallowed harshly, his tongue darting out over dry lips only to find everything was dry from his mouth being agape. Alec would be touring with the one who just poured his heart and soul out to not only the piano but his virtual audience. Magnus was a performer to a level that Alec wasn't sure he was ready to follow with his mellow tunes. Magnus was... amazing and Alec knew he needed to meet him. -- Simon waved Alec along behind him, his big goofy smile bright in the near darkness as the sun set behind the tall buildings in the horizon. Lights were just starting to come on and Alec had already been given a tour of Simon's bus, his bunk, and was alerted that all staff needs would be handled by Simon's staff due to the late notice in having him join the tour. It was a relief to say the least, since Alec wasn't used to any sort of tours, he was used to the safety of his recording room behind a microphone and camera with his guitar on his lap. "Come on, this is Magnus's bus. I'll introduce you to him." Simon said, not bothering to knock on the door and instead putting in the code on the door and letting himself in. It took only seconds after the door opened and they stepped up onto the stairs that a woman's harsh voice filled the bus. "You can't just tell me to leave! We've been together for years! YEARS, Magnus!" "Well maybe you should have thought of those years before you fucked two guys on the staff, Camille!" Magnus's voice snapped back, no hint of control there like he'd had in the video that was uploaded. Simon looked back at Alec, behind him on the stairs, like a deer caught in headlights. Neither wanted to move, neither wanted to say anything about them being there, purely out of fear of the repercussions. Alec shrugged and glanced behind him to see how they could back out slowly and quietly, only then noticing what looked like Magnus's staff out on the sidewalk behind them, seemingly waiting for the fight. Great of them to warn he and Simon. "It was a mistake! I had too much to drink, you know how things get!" Camille retorted, her voice going from harsh to pleading, Alec almost able to hear the tears in her voice. Cheap shot, he thought. It was Magnus's silence that had Alec peeking up slowly over the partition between the bus and the stairs, not daring to go up any higher like Simon was. Simon was actually impressed the two hadn't noticed them yet. Magnus looked done, his eyes tired and his lips void of the bright smile he had in every video; instead turned down in a deep frown. He looked thoughtfully at Camille and Alec almost wanted to tell him not to cave to guilt tactics, but this wasn't his place. He didn't know either of them, he didn't know the situation other than her cheating- he bit back the comment. "Camille, you need to leave. It's done. We're done." "Magnus, we--" "We went through this once before, two years ago, remember? You drank too much, you got loose with the wrong guy. I forgave you and said I would never do it again and now here we are, Camille. Back to this same old shit and I'm tired. I want to make something of my life and having to worry about keeping you close so you don't just fuck someone with a bottle of gin? That's not part of my life. Please get out." Magnus said finally and Alec watched him stare Camille in the eye, holding strong to his words. It was something Alec wasn't sure he could bring himself to do in a situation like this, but he felt an almost pride in Magnus for it. "No. No, Magnus, we can talk this o--" Camille started, though Simon clearing his throat caught her attention and she looked over at him, her pleading look turning into a sneer. "We're having a conversation here!" "One that it sounds like Magnus is done with. Look, this is between you two, but we have a show coming up tomorrow and I wanted to introduce Magnus to Alec..." Simon trailed off as he motioned behind him to Alec, who had ducked back down as if he wasn't there. Well, the jig was up. Alec straightened up, giving the two further in the bus a sheepish smile and a hesitant wave. "Uh, hey. I'm Alec Li--" "Lightwood." Magnus finished, sounding miserable still but Alec gave him a break on the smile he tried to force on his face. "I've seen and subscribe to you, you do great work." Alec felt a twinge of guilt that he hadn't heard of Magnus before, especially considering Magnus had at least a thousand more followers than he himself did. A hand rose to run through shaggy black hair in desperate need of a haircut, something he should of had done instead of spending hours watching Magnus's videos. Then again, he was sure Magnus probably followed a bunch of YouTube musicians, especially with a collab folder as large as he'd found under the video collections and the amount of 'Musician spotlight' shoutout videos that were also there. "It's nice to meet you, and ..." Alec looked to Camille, every bit of his willpower used to not make a face of displeasure. First impressions were important and the first of her was certainly something. "This is Camille, my ex-girlfriend. She was just leaving." The bag held towards Camille punctuated Magnus's words as he nodded towards the door. It didn't need to be said twice, Simon moved quickly out of the way and into the drivers seat area as Alec backed out of the bus to make room for her. It seemed like both men were eager to be rid of her, which Alec could only find himself mimicking to ease the moment. Camille looked between Magnus and Simon before she ripped the bag out of Magnus's hands, her eyes narrowing at him. "You'll regret this some day, Magnus. You don't know what you're losing." She spat out, her heels clicking harshly down the aisle of the bus and the stairs to follow. "You okay...?" Simon asked as he looked over to Magnus, moving further into the bus to pat his shoulder comfortingly. Alec was behind him though giving the two a bit of space, not wanting to intrude on the two friends that seemed to be having a moment. "I'm fine, thank you for stepping in. I didn't want to snap, I just..." Magnus sighed before glancing over Simon's shoulder and straightening his slumped back. "Mr. Lightwood, I'm glad you could join the tour. When Simon's manager mentioned wanting to reach out to you, I backed Simon and told her I highly recommended it. They were worried it was too last minute, but who gets a chance like this, right?" Alec found himself smiling at Magnus's smile, no matter how defeated it looked on the other man. "Yes, thank you, and thank you, Simon, for talking to her about me. Really, this is... I couldn't have even imagined I'd be here right now, much less going on a tour across the country performing for people, with other people." "Surreal, isn't it? This one is bigger than my last one, that was kind of just a small venue type thing where it was little crowds, but once we saw forums saying people were sad we were sold out, and when my manager saw people outside lined up around the block trying to get in still, they knew we had to go a little bigger this time. Really it was the last albums success, plus all the promotions and videos we threw up on YouTube that made it work for us. That last bit was at some persuasion of Magnus during one of the collabs we did of a Queen cover. Also we--" "Simon, you're rambling." Magnus chimed in, his fingers massaging his temple. Alec noticed the paint was slightly chipped, but he was sure there was more pressing things that Magnus had to worry about than that. "Oh! Oh, I am, yeah, sorry." Simon laughed and looked at the men he was basically sandwiched between. "Sooooo Alec, you should come see the venue and you can talk to my manager. Do you have a manager? They could talk about pay and stuff like that?" Simon's attention turned solely to Alec, who seemed nervous suddenly. "I... no. I mean, my mom handles a lot of my stuff like little shows around town and my sister handles my merch store but... I'm my own manager." "Nothing wrong with that, I'm my own currently as well. It's not so hard, I can show you the ropes." Magnus offered as he moved to the nearby fridge, pulling out a bottle of water and offering it out towards the two. Simon took it, Alec taking the next offered, and Magnus opened the third to take a long sip. "What order will we be doing this?" "I think you should go first to get the crowd riled up, then Alec, then me." Simon answered, his fingers fiddling with the cap of the water bottle. "Actually, I was thinking, if it's okay, if I go first and Magnus goes before you?" Alec said nervously, clearing his throat. He then looked to Magnus as he lifted a hand in defense, which had the other smirking. "Not that I want to displace you other anything, I just... you know, my stuff is kind of slower and I stand there and play my guitar. Magnus... is everywhere. I saw someone call him the next Freddie Mercury and I mean, I've been watching videos and--" "You've been watching me, Alexander?" Magnus mused, watching the faint trace of pink tint Alec's cheeks at both the comment and the name. "N-NO, I mean, yes, but-- look, what I mean is I think Magnus can get them more riled up and ready for you better than I can. He's got the energy like you, he's got an entire band to perform with, it's just me and--" "Are you torturing the new talent?" A woman's voice floated from the staircase, all three turning to look at the redhead watching them with amusement. "Ah! That's my manager. Alec, this is Jocelyn. Jocelyn, Alec. Her daughter, Clary, does the art for our flyers and shirts." Simon introduced, slipping past Alec to go over and greet the woman. "Should we show him the venue? Go over setlists?" "I think that would be the wisest decision, we don't have much time." Jocelyn nodded, smiling to Alec and Magnus before turning and moving back off the bus. "Alec, do you have a manager?" She asked as Alec came off the bus as well, followed by Magnus. "No, not yet. Just me. Magnus said he could help, though?" Jocelyn glanced past Alec to Magnus as he spoke, nodding in agreement. "I can help you out as well, we'll make you a natural. I've been teaching Simon along the way with the promise that he doesn't replace me." She winked to them and turned to lead them to the venue, the guard at the door opening it for them once he saw the badge around her neck. -- "This is..." Alec stood on the stage, looking over the rows of seating both on the floor and on the balcony above them. "Intimidating?" Simon asked. "Beautiful?" Magnus said at the same time, the two looking at each other with grins before they looked over at Alec. "Yeah," Alec answered with a breathless laugh, since both statements were pretty spot on. He'd played in coffee shops and small bookstores, but this was 10x's bigger than anything he'd been in before. It was surreal, almost so much so that he couldn't believe it was real. He was grateful for the opportunity and even more so of the moment that the two were giving him to soak it all in. Alec was sure they'd both had their own their first time, which Magnus had stated on their way in was the show they did in Boston. It apparently took him almost an hour to recover from it, and he only fully accepted it when they stepped into the Hartford venue. "You ready, big guy?" Jocelyn asked as she touched Alec's shoulder lightly, bringing him out of that moment and making him realize that Simon and Magnus had left his side and were now messing around with some of the equipment waiting for the show the next night. "Y-Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to get lost there." Alec could feel his face heating up, but Jocelyn looked plenty understanding and smiled at him, exuding the air of motherlike patience. "Hey, everyone goes there. Simon looked like a kid in a candy store his first big stage. Took me fifteen minutes to get him to stop running around with his arms up like some musical Rocky." She laughed and led him back to the others, putting a folder down on the table. "Alright guys, I think Alec was right in saying he should go first. No offense, Alec." "None taken." "Magnus you not only have energy, you're just infectious and now that ... she's gone, I think you're just free, kid. That Magnus you bottled up to keep an eye on her, let him go. Be the you we all saw on your channel, the one that we fell in love with when you came to the studio to do Killer Queen with them." Magnus's arms were crossed, his face neutral, but her pep talk seemed to bring a little bit of that light back and he couldn't stop the crook of his lips from forming a little smile. "You want me to..." "Break free." Jocelyn said with a playful wink, the two having found a bond over a shared love of Queen. "Are you guys flirting? This looks like flirting. I'm totally cool with it but like--" Simon's voice carried all the humor that Alec had expected from everything he'd seen on the RSP channel- he'd always seemed like the goofiest of the group. A shove from Magnus had Simon laughing and lifting his hands in a mock surrender. Jocelyn rolled her eyes though her smile was bright and she opened the folder, pulling out different papers and handing them to the men they belonged to respectively. "Alec, Clary and I went through your channel and we picked the videos with the most views, both covers and your originals, the same way we did with Magnus. What your homework is tonight is to go through this list and let me know if there's anything you want to add or remove. Remember that you have a 45 minute slot- so make sure the songs fit. It's okay if you go five minutes over, but we generally try to keep that to any crowd attention and loving you want to do after you perform. Magnus, you do the same, though I'm sure you want to keep your set, and Simon- anything you want to switch up?" Alec was completely baffled at the situation, he had always just assumed that artists picked out their own list of their most current music and then just random songs from different albums, but it made sense that they would go with the most popular since after all, that was what sold tickets. Simon was busy scribbling out one song and replacing it with another and Magnus---- Magnus was watching him. Alec froze, unable to tear his eyes away from the stare they'd become locked into, and it wasn't until Magnus gave a smile, a genuine one this time, that Alec was able to look away, instead focusing on the paperwork on the table. "This list is pretty good, I think I might replace two, but not too much more than that." Alec stuttered as he felt himself grow hot once more. What in the hell was going on with him? "Great, make sure you have it to me by 10 A.M tomorrow. The sound guys will need to go over everything with you and get pre-testing done, so we'll want to take care of that after to make soundcheck move smoothly tonight. Also, you're free to stay in your own place while we're in the city as long as you promise you'll be back on time, assuming you live in the city?" Jocelyn was excited herself to be near her own bed and it was very evident in her tone of voice. Looking around the table, Simon and especially Magnus looked just as relieved to be back home, even though they'd only been gone for less than a week. Alec could only imagine what it would be like in a couple weeks when they'd only be a month into the six month tour. "Yeah, I live about twenty minutes from here so I think that's great. My dogs will appreciate it." "Dogs? You have dogs? You should bring them!" Simon chirped, perking up at the mental image of having dogs with them all as stress relief. "Simon, no. There isn't enough room on the bus and we just started the tour. It's going to get crazy. Let's revisit that in a month, okay?" Jocelyn's words were only relenting at the end when Simon's smile dropped and she even noticed Magnus looked bummed. Alec smiled at the trio in front of him, feeling like they all were Jocelyn's new adopted kids. Admittedly it would be a little nice having a mom on the road, especially since this would be the first time Alec would be far from his own. There was no doubt he was a mama's boy, and there was nothing he would do to deny it if ever called out on it. As Jocelyn and Simon spoke about the setlist change once more, Alec's eyes caught Magnus's at the same time as Magnus had started looking at Alec, the two staring at each other subtly for a moment before Magnus was spoken to by Simon. This would definitely be an interesting start to a new beginning for Alec.

#someday stars #malec #au #youtube musicians #simon lewis #jocelyn fray #my fics

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protectingcalum-blog · 5 years

Text

one day

Words: 1.1K

Warnings: none?

summary: fluff. pure fluff with cal and his future girl

masterlist

“Cal” She called out to the boy that was laying in their bed scrolling through his phone. He was too focused on whatever caught his attention on social media for him to respond to her. That’s one of the things that annoyed her the most when he would hear her talk and ignore her. “Cal!” She called out again, this time louder. He dropped his phone on his bare chest and looked over at the girl he loved who was standing by the closet in their room.“Which should I wear out tonight?” She asked she held up two different tops, one was a black tube top and the other was a red tank top. Both were simple and would make a decent outfit for your casual night out but she always wants Calum’s opinion, or maybe just his attention. “You know you’re showing me two basic tops, right? Anyways you don’t have to look good, it’s just a casual get together sorta thing.” He said reaching for his phone to keep himself occupied. She rolled her eyes, but she wasn’t surprised by his answer, of course he would say something sassy. “I’m dating The Calum Hood, so I have to look good, gotta make us look good.” She said as she put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “The Calum Hood, huh? I like that.” He laughed at the fact that she was referring to him as if he was the most important thing ever. He was to her. “Tell me which to wear or I won’t wear anything” Calum liked that idea, “So I’m not gonna tell you what to wear then.” He said as he wiggled his eyebrows at her. She picked up the red top and threw it at the boy laughing at her while laying in his bed. “You suck Hood.” She yelled over to him. “I do. That’s why you love me.” He said.

She changed her outfit for the last time before strolling over to the bed to sit down. “We have to leave in 15 minutes and you’re only wearing grey sweatpants and your hair is a mess.” She commented looking over at him. “What’s wrong with wearing grey sweatpants out to the club?” He asked. “Everything is wrong with it.” She chuckled. “How about we stay in tonight” He looked at her and frowned, giving her a pleading face, “please?” He moved across the bed and pushed her down so her head was resting on the pillows. He hovered over her body and asked her again, “Please?” He said looking down at her. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips before he began kissing under her jaw and down her neck. She gently pushed his face away from her neck and gave him a quick peck. “I’m not staying in tonight because you’re horny, but nice try.”

He huffed in response before moving to the side of her and “Being horny is a good reason to stay in.” He stated. She ignored his comment as she moved off the bed to put her shoes on. It was obvious to Calum that she wasn’t gonna give in tonight so he climbed out of bed and strolled over to his closet to put on black pants and a striped button-down shirt. “Can you wear your sparkly boots tonight?” She asked. He nodded as he pulled out his boots to put on. The two strolled out of their house and went to the club with their friends.

When they got back from the club it was 2am and she was more awake than ever. She grabbed two cups and set them on on the coffee table in front of the couch Calum was sitting on. She went back to the kitchen and grabbed her liter of diet coke and vodka and placed them down on the coffee table.

“Remind me why we are still drinking?” Calum asked as he watched his girlfriend make them mixed drinks. “Because I wanna dance with you.” She said as she handed him the drink she made. She sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder for a minute or so before she lifted her head to chug her drink. Calum looked over at her with wide eyes and started laughing, “You better not throw up tonight doll.” Even though he knew it would be a bad idea, he copied her actions and chugged his drink too.

She stood up and walked around the room and called out, “Hey Alexa, play disconnected by 5 Seconds of Summer.” The second he heard her say disconnected he rolled his eyes at her. He really wasn’t in the mood to listen to the song he made as a teen, but clearly, she was. “Hey Alexa, Stop.” He called to the speaker. She looked over at her boy and pouted. She walked over to him and grabbed his hands to make him stand up. “We are gonna listen to the song disconnected, made by a very talented and hot boy and dance to it. And you’re gonna like it.” She stated. The song started playing as she started dancing in their living room to the music. Of course Calum had to give in and walk over to his wasted girlfriend and joined her in dancing terribly. “You are my getaway. You are my favorite place. We put the world away. Yeah, we’re so disconnected.” She sang along. Calum looked over at the gorgeous girl who stood in their living room screaming the song his band made. He smiled at her as he sang the rest of the song with her. He grabbed her hands as they moved and danced around the living room. Eventually, the song was over and Calum moved himself and her over to the couch.

Calum sat down on the couch and she rested her head on his thigh and closed her eyes so she could catch her breath from the screaming and dancing. She looked up at him and moved her head to give him a short kiss before moving her head back to his thigh.

“One day in the future we are going to wake up on a Sunday morning and dance to that song in our beautiful living room. And we are going to wake up our future kids because we will be screaming the song too loud, and they will walk in and make fun of us. And I will be so happy.” She started smiling to herself and the thought of what could be their future.

“One day,” Calum repeated to himself and her.

Tagging my favorites (let me know if you want to be added to the tag list)

@wildhearthood @boytoynamedcalum @sleepyemmalou @who-do-you-love-5sos@calssunflower @lilacsos @currentlyupcalsass

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sharperthewriter · 5 years

Text

Chapter 20 of SFV

Chapter 20 - Day 2: The Oh Boyz Routine

(11:55am)

The Stoppable-mobile headed back onto 83 to head north to continue their journey to Valentine. They saw nothing but the rolling prairie grasses of late-November, and the cool wind blowing against the saran wrap of the makeshift windows.

Back in the camper, Mary was still asleep while Canna was sending a text to Bonnie.

Did you take any humiliating photos yet of K? read the text from the wealthy heiress.

Canna texted her back, saying Just the ones from Bumblebees where Ron was grabbing his wife by the ass to cover her.

Bonnie then replied with, LOL! You're doing good so far! Just make sure that you take the photos where you won't draw attention to the redhead. And remember, my associate will meet you at the Bueno Nacho Express there in Valentine for the device!

Canna understood and texted back, I will be there ASAP...

"Now...Ron..." Kim said, "...do you have everything ready for the Oh Boyz routine?"

"The Oh Boyz Routine?" Ron wondered.

"Don't tell me you forgot!" Kim muttered. Her hooked overalls strap was resting barely on her shoulder. "We had a runthrough of this sitch before a few weeks ago, remember?"

Ron thought to himself for a moment.

(Three weeks ago)

At the Possible house, Kim was in the backyard with her former fellow cheer-mates. They consisted of Tara, Jessica, Liz, and Crystal.

They were each wearing white croptops with the words, in capitalized red letters of "WE" "MAY" "BE" "TAKEN" "BUT", worn by Kim, Tara, Jessica, Liz, and Crystal, respective;y. They were all wearing Club Banana signature baggy denim overalls as well. Tara had both straps hooked. Jessica wore hers with the left strap hooked and right strap off. Crystal and Liz had the right strap on and left strap off. Kim was more experimental, crossing over the left strap and hooking it to the right side of the bib.

"Now that you are all here, we are going to go through the Oh Boyz Routine for the South Dakota concert coming up in a few weeks." Kim said.

"What exactly is the routine, Kim?" Tara asked.

"I hope it's not exactly what I think it is..." Jessica whimpered.

"No, Jess. It's not...that stuff..." Kim groaned, not wishing to get too graphic on the info. "We're just, for the first time in 13 years, expressing our support for the Oh Boyz now that they are officially back together!"

"Understandable. But why did you choose me instead of Monique?" Crystal asked, "I'm not as big of an Oh Boyz fan as her."

"Because she is eight months pregnant with her kid." Kim replied. "And trust me, Chrys, Jamarcus doesn't want to carry a pregnant lady on his shoulders."

"Ohhh..." Crystal understood.

"When the Oh Boyz come out onto the stage, we all unhook our overalls at the same time with me, Tara, Jess, Liz and Chrys. And on the interior of the bib is a message of support for the Oh Boyz, showing that we still are their fans even though all of us are taken!" Kim explained the nature of her plan. "And we are going to wear the overalls like that through the entire concert...with belts on of course to prevent any Ron-like accidents."

"Okay...sounds like a good idea." Tara replied.

"Now...scream your loudest girls and unhook those straps now!" Kim decreed.

They all did so and it revealed that the inside of the bibs said in bright white letters "BUT" "WE" "STILL", a pink heart" , and "THE OH BOYZ" again worn by Kim, Tara, Jessica, Liz and Crystal, in that order.

(end flashback)

"Oh now I remember! Now I see what you mean!" Ron said, grinning. "At least that's better than...say...exposing your boobs to a potential nationally televised audience and getting the both of us fired from GJ."

"Relax, Ron! That is so not going to happen in the slightest!" Kim chuckled. "Now, can you check on the kids and Rufus for me?"

"Sure can do, KS!" Ron replied as he turned his head to the back.

"Let's see...Justin is still playing with his tablet, Rufus is still asleep and Alexa has colored her own skin with crayons...wait a minute...ALEXA IS COLORING HER HANDS AND LEGS WITH CRAYONS?!"

"Alexa! No! Crayons are for the coloring book, not for your own body!" Kim exclaimed as she grabbed a moist towelette from the glove compartment. She took her eyes off the road and turned her full attention to Alexa to try and clean her up. Her legs were the ones doing the steering of the wheel.

The van went off the road, driving into the grass.

"Uh...KS?" Ron questioned, trying to get his wife's attention.

"Not now, Ron! Can't you see I'm busy with Alexa?" Kim muttered, trying to wipe the crayon off her leg. Instead, the most towelette actually was combining the colors together. Also, another button popped off the croptop Kim was wearing, exposing more of her cleavage and black bra.

"I look like a rainbow!" Alexa squeaked.

"We're driving in the grass!" Ron screamed.

Rufus screamed and closed his beady eyes.

Kim dropped the towelette and focused her attention back on the road. She steered the wheel away from the grass and back on the highway. The hooked overalls strap slipped off her shoulder and the bib began to curl fully.

"Whew..." she said, breathing a sigh of relief, "...that was extremely close!"

"I'd say!" Ron exclaimed. "Good thing the van wasn't damaged!"

Just as soon as he said that, he heard thumping on the highway.

"Ron...do you hear that sound?"

"Uh...yeah, KS. I do hear that!"

"Can you check to see where it's coming from?"

"Sure can do!"

Rufus looked outside. He pointed his paw at the origin of the sound. Ron also looked outside and gasped, "KS, we may have to pull over..."

"Why, Ron?!" Kim moaned.

"The tire on the right side of the camper has gone flat. We may want to pull over." Ron said.

Kim made a groaning sound that yet another thing was going to slow them down, but she had no choice.

"You're right, Ron." she replied, "Stupid good for nothing delay..."

She pulled the vehicle on over to the side of the road to stop the irritating thumping and turned on the hazard lights on the van.

"Where are we now?" Kim asked.

"We are about 30 miles outside of Valentine." Ron said, looking at the GPS.

"So we're still stuck in Prairie-land aka the middle of nowhere!" Kim groaned even louder. She threaded her hand through the hooked strap, allowing it to fall down. It showed off her midriff and a couple of recent tattoos of a red dragon and an angel right above her belly button. . She opened the door and, unknown to her, the right side zipper to her overalls zipped down, showing off a side of her black panties with purple hearts. "Are the lemon squares you made for Thanksgiving still intact?"

Ron looked through the saran-wrapped third row window of the van and gave a thumbs up.

"Get out of the van and help me out here for the spare!" Kim demanded while grabbing her purse. "And Rufus, stay here and watch the kids...make sure that Alexa doesn't make herself into a Picasso painting."

Rufus hummed and saluted, taking watch of the kids.

"Rightey-o, Kim!" Ron replied as he opened the passenger van door and closed it.

The two of them walked behind the van. Kim made an exasperated gasp.

"The rear bumper is gone!" she exclaimed.

And indeed, the rear bumper had fallen off the van as well, adding to the damage that the Stoppable-mobile has suffered through on this trip.

The two then walked 7 feet to where the flat tire was. It had two nails in it.

"At least we now know what caused the flat." Ron admitted, leaning against the open door. One of the belt loops got caught against the open hinge of the door.

"What's going on?" Mary asked, coming out of the camper.

"And why do you have to disturb our beauty sleep...?" Canna questioned, yawning.

"Flat tire ish." Kim replied. "It's no big."

Shen then asked, "Are you two going to help?"

"So not! I don't want to get my nails all dirty from tire treads!" Canna countered.

"Suit yourself!" Kim snarked.

Mary and Canna went back inside.

"Where did you put the spare for the camper?" Kim asked her husband.

"I put it in the back in a compartment, KS." Ron said, "Just allow me, the man of the house, to get it out!"

But as he did so, the belt loop caused his pants to be pulled down, showing off his polka dot boxers.

"Ron..." Kim muttered, "...stop messing around and get the spare!"

"Oh right! Right!" Ron said as he pulled back his pants halfway going into the camper.

A few minutes later, Ron, now with his pants pulled up normally, got out with the camper spare.

"I got it, KS!" Ron said.

"Good, I'm gonna get the two jacks from the back." Kim replied, but as she walked to get the jacks her overalls started to slip from the rear, showing off more of her panties. She ignored it and brought the jack around. "Ron, get the lug nuts loose first!"

"This should be no problem!" Ron said, putting the spare to the side and got the tire wrench from the repair kit.

He loosened the lug nuts on the flat tire slightly and Kim raised the trailer with the jack.

"Do you envision doing this on vacation, KS?" Ron asked as he loosened the last lugnut on the flat.

"No...I hoped that we never go through this flat tire sitch ever again since Florida." Kim groaned.

Ron replaced the flat tire with the spare.

"Now we can cross that off the list." Ron replied as he lowered the trailer and tightened the lugnuts again. Kim inflated the tire to the correct PSI, but unfortunately, her undone overalls slipped past her bottom, showing off an embarrassing unicorn tatoo on her left buttock and a butterfly tatoo on her right.

"That'll have to do until we get a new tire put in." she muttered.

Ron then finally noticed his wife's unicorn tattoo and said, "Uh...KS?"

"Ron, can it wait? I have to put the flat back in the camper." Kim retorted, still grabbing the removed flat tire. When she shoved the tire into the camper, though, her undone overalls were officially on her ankles the undone strap dragging on the pavement.

"Kinda importante! Your overalls are falling off!" Ron exclaimed.

Kim finally looked down and gasped. Her cheeks blushed in embarrassment!

"Oh no...not again!" she groaned. "I'm glad that no one saw that!"

Little did she know that Canna was snapping the pictures from her smartphone, and as per Bonnie's orders, has not yet uploaded them to her social media accounts.

The redhead managed to pull the overalls back up and she zipped up the side zipper. She also pulled back up the hooked right strap of the overalls and kept the left strap undone.

"Now let's head back on the road." Kim insisted.

She and Ron got back in the Stoppable-mobile.

"Alexa, we're going to have to clean you up before we get to the Bueno Nacho in Valentine." Kim groaned, looking at her daughter.

The van, with the spare on the camper, pulled away from the shoulder and back onto the highway. Kim hoped that no more distractions would be on this drive...or on the trip for that matter.

#kim possible #fanfiction #stoppable family vacation

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basicdeanstan-blog · 6 years

Text

In the Workplace

Characters: Dean Ambrose x Female Reader

Warnings: Slut shaming(consensual), public sex, slight daddy kink, rough, and dirty talking. (IM SORRY)

Summary: You watched your boyfriend Dean pick up the win for his singles match against Sheamus and he looked too good doing it. You practically beg and tease him into giving in to some backstage sex, him trying to be good. Soon, very soon, he can’t take it anymore and gives in to you. Whoops.

I watched Dean’s match with genuine interest, my eyes never leaving the screen as soon as he made his entrance, of course with his best friend Seth by his side.

“Anyone wanna bet on who’s winning?” Titus asked, looking around the room of few superstars who were looking at the monitor. Everyone chimed in their guesses as the impressive, high energy match continued on. I didn’t speak at all as I was so proud of my man, doing better and better in that ring. He did look extremely sexy tonight, and I found myself wanting the match to end already just so I could tell him so.

We had been on the road all day every day for the past few weeks and haven’t had very much intimate time, except for the quickies in the car or the usual hotel sex. I wasn’t complaining, but I really wanted to spice things up. The only time we’d done anything sexual in public lately were the occasional rest stops but that didn’t feel as exciting as having sex at work. It sounded daunting, and honestly so hot to me that Dean had to be on board. We were both equally wild in that sense and that’s why our sexual chemistry is so amazing. Actually, general chemistry for that matter.

The match ended with him picking up the win and I quickly stood up, waiting for him by the gorilla. I flashed Seth a quick smile as he walked by, him returning one to me before me being greeted by the man I loved. I engulfed Dean into a surprising embrace, in which he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a peck on the lips.

“Hey, baby.” He chuckled against my lips. Only I didn’t plan on talking. I pushed my lips back against his, in our usual, slow lustful kiss. That was our way of hinting that we wanted to fuck, the other usually catching on and it turning into something wild. But he kept giving me that romantic, passionate kiss back. I pouted and pulled away. “Dean..” I whined teasingly. “I want you.” I whispered up into his ear, my fingers playing with his sweat ridden hair.

He sighed in response and pulled away at an arms length, taking one of my hands into his. “Babe, come on you know we can’t right now. We’ll be heading back to the hotel in just an hour and a half.” He gave me a look, his eyebrows raised and his tone almost authority-like. I honestly loved when he’d do that, act like he’s scolding me or telling me that I’m doing something bad. It only turned me on more.

He simply gave me a smile and kissed my forehead, as if I’d be good and take that for an answer.

Not tonight.

I looked around and there were various amounts of people in our area, but really paying us no mind. I turned back to him, walking closer and wrapped my arms around his waist, my chin against his chest as I looked up at him with those eyes. Those same eyes I’d give him when I’d be down on my knees, sucking his dick.

“Please, daddy… I need you. I’ve been thinking about you inside me all night.” I dragged out my voice, trying to make it innocent yet raspy and desperate at the same time. I knew what he liked and I knew what’d get him.

“Jeez- fuck, babe, I will eat your pussy until sunrise when we get back to the hotel if you can just be patient for me. Do you know how risky it is? Fucking you here? You think I don’t wanna do that? Because I sure as hell do.” His voice was low, eyes peering out around him every now and then at his coworkers.

I slid my hand down to his bulge, brushing over it before just fully, gently grasping it in my hand. I saw him quickly look down at me, giving me that “don’t you dare” look.

“Then do it. There are so many unoccupied rooms. Everyone’s in catering.” I was biting my lip now, and backed away, facing him as he gave me another frustrated look. I only smirked before turning around and walking down the hall. There weren’t many areas made available to us backstage so I chose the nearest door, running into Nia and Alexa on my way there. It was obviously a crowded backstage night, being the night after Survivor Series and all. The chances of getting caught were even higher and that only made the heat between my thighs grow wetter. I opened the door to see a large desk with a bunch of business papers on it that didn’t look that important. There were a few chairs, and another monitor that showed Raw.

I closed the door behind me, anxiously waiting for him. I know he gave no sign of him coming to follow me but I knew he wouldn’t leave me in here alone either. I soon heard the click of the door and sucked in a breath, but it was him.

He shut the door slowly and quietly behind him before charging at me with a dark, lust filled look.

“You fuckin’ kidding me?” He grumbled before pulling me into a rough kiss. I grinned against his lips and kissed back with just as much force. He pulled up at my loose tank top, my red bra being revealed to him. He picked me up with ease before placing me to sit on the desk. He stood between my legs and the intensity of our kiss increased as his shirt, shoes, and gear pants were a puddle on the floor. He towered over me as I sat in my bra and panties, being devoured in a kiss by him.

He pulled away to snatch the bra from my chest, his sexual frustration radiating throughout the room.

“I can’t believe you’d go this far. What were you thinkin’, hm? Pulling that shit? We fucking work here, for goodness sake.” He hissed lowly at me. His voice was filled with lust, a hard on obvious in his briefs as he took one of my breasts into his hands, leaning down to drag his tongue against my nipple. His hand took my other breast, thumb and index finger playing with my nipple as his tongue then trailed against my neck, biting and sucking on a spot he knew all too well. I was letting out moans, being as quiet as I could in our predicament.

He shushed me softly, pulling my panties down in the mess of our clothes. His middle and index finger quickly met my folds, forcing my legs apart. I could hear the sound of my wetness as his fingers worked up and down against my pussy. I whimpered as my eyes didn’t leave his hand, the warm contact right where I wanted it. He continued his slow, up and down rubs against my slit with his slender fingers. I leaned my head back, eyes shutting closed.

“This what you wanted? Huh?” His voice was rough and thick, yet he was cooing to me at the same time. “You little slut. You’re so wet.”

I moaned out at his choice of words, hoping he’d get this dirty with me.

He pushed at my chest for me to lean back. I was vertically laying down, back to the desk as Dean towered over me, at the foot of the desk. I laid to where my feet were on top of it, knees toward the ceiling and Dean having perfect access between my legs. He pulled down his tight black briefs, kicking them to the side with haste. He continued cursing under his breath, something about me being so damn tempting, being a bad girl and not taking no for an answer.

He gripped my hip with one hand and pumped his thick, ready dick with the other. His lips were parted open as he jerked himself a few times before his tip pushed into my entrance. I relaxed my head on the hard desk and sighed at the feeling, getting ready for all of it. He surprised me with a quick, forceful thrust, not even letting me adjust. A loud whimper escaped my mouth and he looked at me quickly, his eyes wide. I put a hand over my mouth, his dick still pumping into me.

“You gotta be quiet, baby. You don’t wanna get us caught.” He hushed me, palm rubbing up and down my stomach soothingly. It was apparent that he felt bad about the rough, unexpected thrust but I didn’t wanna lose momentum.

“Fuck me, Dean. Fuck me on this desk.” I groaned.

That got him started as both his hands held onto my hips, his thrusts growing quicker. He pulled me down the desk more, ass hanging off but his hands still supporting me up. I moaned quietly to myself at almost every quick, rough thrust, my back arching up off the cold surface. He was going full speed now and papers were flying off the desk. One of his hands gripped onto the edge of it for support as he pounded into me. He tried keeping his grunts under control, every once in awhile one slipping out. He leaned down, chest against mine to swallow me into another kiss, the interaction making us stifle each other’s moans for a while.

His thrusts were so impactful. Hard and fast, just how we liked it. Only this time it felt even rougher.

“You love this. Yeah? You wanted my cock inside you so badly. You- fuck! You just couldn’t wait.” He whisper yelled. I couldn’t muster up a response as I dug my nails into his forearm, my teeth biting into my bottom lip as a low moan wanted to escape my throat.

“O-oh, baby, fuck. Fuck me.” Was all I could say. My tone was desperate and begging, my fingers reaching down to rub my clit before he pushed my hand away and rubbed it himself. He did it so skillfully, knowing exactly how to please me. He knew my body so well, what I could take, what I couldn’t. He pushed the limits more and more every time and my hips were beginning to pain as his thrusts were so hard hitting. I wanted to let him know so badly how good it felt, but all I could do was look up into his eyes, my face giving it all away.

“I know, baby. You feel so amazing,” he paused, looking down at him quickly disappearing into me. “You are so wet. You hear it? My dick is fucking glistening.” He grunted out to me, his voice in disbelief but utterly turned on. We tried so hard to keep our voices down but the inevitable panting for breath grew louder as we lost ourselves in each other, him chasing both our climaxes as he pounded away. His ability to keep this up was amazing, the agility in him coming out as he didn’t stop not once. Though I was panting under my breath occasionally, “Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.”

The sweat from his forehead dripped onto mine and my stomach was churning as the familiar feeling approached. “I’m coming!” I whimpered out to him, my hips bucking up against him. His thrusts turned into slow yet hard ones, grinding it out into me as my clit reached his pubic hairs. He pulled me into another kiss as I came, my moans being swallowed up and hushed, his hand gripping onto my chin. Dean wasn’t far behind as the breath in his throat hitched, and his thrusts stilled. He came inside me, and I bit down onto my lip as his face contorted into such pleasure. I felt the hot shots of his cum settle into me, and his chest stuck to mine with sweat as we exchanged looks, me giving him a tired out, yet elated smile. We kissed once more, maybe for another half hour before pulling away. His dark, lustful expression completely changed as he looked down at me in admiration. He gave me a warm smile, his forehead against mine.

“Thank you.” I giggled.

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meerkatheart-blog · 7 years

Text

MH: Irreplaceable

Was bored, so I wrote my first MH story in a long time. I'm going to be fleshing out Penny and Tucker's every-day lives for a while now. I hope you guys enjoy. The story Butterfly is telling came from a comedy show I heard on youtube once. Credit goes to the guy who actually lived through this nonsense, but it sounded like something Penny would get into. Hope you guys enjoy this silly drabble. It was just a normal night at the townhouse, a bunch of girls sitting in various places in the living room. Everyone swapping stories, having drinks, it was all good. Penelope Stone, better known by her street name ‘Butterfly’, was full of stories. Mostly of her childhood. “Another story I’ll never tell my parents..” Penelope began, holding her bottle on her knee. “This all happened in high school. The redhead leaned back on the stool she was sitting on, her knee high boots stretching with the strain. “I had this teacher in high school, whose kid actually went to our high school, the teacher’s name was…” she thought a little “Mr. Alberquirq and his son was Max Alberquirq. He was a sophomore, when I was a…a senior so he was two years younger than me.” Two fingers were held up, more reaffirming herself than anyone else. “And well, Mr Alberquirq…” Penny smirked, as if amused by her own thoughts “was, an asshole. And one weekend, he and his wife decided to leave town, which you should never do,” she looked around the room, slightly leering at everyone “if you’re an asshole.” “The thing was, Max Alberquirq, decided to throw a party, at his dad’s house…yaaay.” Fake cheer, Butterfly knew sarcasm that was topped only the group leader “He wasn’t all that popular, you don’t get very popular when your dad is both a teacher..” she put a little emphasis on this one, using one figure in a forward and upward motion “and an asshole.” Most of the girls laughed, they knew what it was like. The lot of them were social outcasts, fed up with society. Labeled ‘mean girls’ by kids and grown-ups a like. Assholes were part of the trade. You dealt with them every day. “So most kids around town got invited to this Saturday night party, and each and every damn kid..” she paused again, this time for effect, her voice slightly rising in pitch “I swear to you, thought individualy ‘Alright, let’s go over there, and trash the place.’” She made a sneer at the last three words. This was rewarded by more laughter. Only one girl was keeping quiet so far, that was Merrianne Enin. Her street name was ‘Mercy’; hers wasn’t even a street-name that was just what everyone called her. No one called her Merrianne and survived. She had always been a hard-ass. But Butterfly respected her. So far, Mercy was just sitting in her chair, sewing something and not saying a word. After a sip off her beer, Butterfly continued her story “I walk in through the front door, and every person I ever knew was there. And they were all drinking like it was the end of the world.” Laughter broke out here “We were drinking like it was the civil war and we were all about to have our legs sawed off.” The laughter got louder; one girl caught her breath long enough to put a log on the fireplace. “It was totally unsupervised,” she flung her arms out “we were criminals off parole,” she bounced her shoulders, while slightly shaking her head “it was insane.” Now Butterfly stands up and starts to walk a little ways, making gestures as she tells her story “I make my way down to the basement; they got a pool table in the basement. Some dumbass took a running start, threw his body on to the fucking pool table and broke it in half.” She took a drink here before continuing. “Another kid found out which room was Mr. Alberquirq’s, went upstairs and took a shit in laptop case.” The girls really started to laugh here, that would be something one of them would have done. Even Mercy had to chuckle at that one. Butterfly made her way back to her seat. “So the party was going great.” An almost placid ‘this is fine’ smile on her face, as if to downplay the whole situation. “I’m in the basement, holding a red cup like you see in the movies.” She holds up her bottle in the same sort of way “So, I’m standing there, holding a red cup and I’m starting to black out. When suddenly someone says ‘something, something, police.” She sort of shakes her head as she said this, unable to remember the exact words. “And in this bleary, brilliant moment of intoxicated word association, I say ‘FUCK DA PO-LICE!” She suddenly stands, yelling “FUCK DA PO-LICE!’ and everyone joined in.” she looked very surprised, the other girls were too,. “A hundred, drunk, white children, collectively yelling ‘Fuck. The. Police. Butterfly was almost laughing herself as she said this “It was like a bunch of guys who had already, like, been to jail and aren’t afraid anymore, like ‘I served my sentence, you can take me if you want to!’” she did laugh a little here, and then said “but, drunk children.” “As it turned out,” she sat down again” the reason someone yelled ‘something, something, police, was because the police were there.” “So this middle-aged patrolman comes down the stars to the basement, and he looks out over a sea of drunk toddlers screaming ‘fuck the police’ in his face.” The girls all gasp a little at this, even Mercy seems interested by now, still not stopping her sewing though “And he’s almost impressed, he’s like ‘wow..’. Then he leans into his walkie talkie and says” Butterfly used her best ‘NYPD voice’ for this “‘Get the paddy-wagan’” There were a few chuckled, a few ‘oh my gods’ here and there. Butterfly continues. “And my buddy Poppy, she’s a mother now, this woman now has a baby. She grabs a forty, smashes it against a wall and yells ‘SCATTER!’” More laugher came from the girls settled in the room. Butterfly had to laugh herself, Poppy was a good kid, nothing like Butterfly. Poppy was a trouble-maker, but she was never really into crime the same way her childhood buddy was. Poppy got into trouble for fun, Butterfly did because it was just what she did. That had been the first and only time Poppy had ever drank, underage. Butterfly, by then had made it a bad habit, among other things. “And we all ran in different directions.” Her voice picks up speed as she talks, once again using hand gestures for emphasis “We all ran in different directions, it was like a hoard of cockroaches when you turn on the light and they all race away, yeah we all ran in different directions.” “I ran into the laundry room, jumped up onto the wash-machine and crawled out a window into the backyard and I start running through the backyard and there was this big chain-link fence and I was like ‘I’ve never climbed a fence this high before!’” Her voice dropped and she said flatly “and then I woke up at home.” One of the girls, a young Korean lady named Nari, street name ‘Bloom’ asked “How on earth did you get back to your house?” Bloom had an ‘American’ name that she had been given when her parents immigrated to America. But with this support system of friends she had made, she proudly bore her original name. Butterfly shrugged “No idea, I asked my brother the next morning what had happened, all he said was ‘You came back at like 4:00 am, Poppy fell asleep in a chair while you crashed in your bed.’” “I ask him ‘Where are the old men?’” “‘Well Dad #1 took Poppy home, Dad #2 asked why you were out so late last night, I told him you guys went to go hang out at the park with some friends and it got dark so you came back here. Next time you go out and get drunk, don’t expect me to cover your ass.’ I was lucky his did that time” Butterfly had to admit, her older brother may have been utterly useless in 90% of cases. But when it came to blowing smoke up her parent’s asses, Tucker was the master. He was able to sweet talk every adult in their family to this day. He was the only person able to schmoose even aunt Alexa. He’d pull that goofy smile and say something that sounded really cute and sincere and give one of those gushy bear-hugs of his, and they were putty to him. Tucker never used this talent for anything useful though, mostly for getting sweets after Dad #2 had clearly told him no more. Tucker was the #1 ass-kisser. A bunch of usual inquires followed. Till Mercy asked “Did you ever busted?” those were the first words she had spoken in an hour. Typical of the hard-ass to ask something like that. “Well,” Butterfly said “A caught up with Max a few days later and I denied ever going to his party. He recapped everything that had happened, but then he said “Worst thing is, someone stole my baby-picture from when I was still in the hospital, and my parents are kinda freaking out about it.” “I got that feeling, that only black-out drunks, and Steve Irkle could get. ‘Did I do that?’ But I told myself I wouldn’t do something like that, I wasn’t a sticky finger drunk.” Then she kinda shrugged “But I was never sure, until a two years later.” The girls all started mumbling amongst themselves “Hey! Relax” she said. “I was chilling with one of my cousins, this chick named Molly I went to school with, she was the same age as me. And we were playing video games and stuff like that, she was a lot closer to my brother than me, but he was off at college by then, so we started hanging out. After a few rounds she looks over at me and says ‘Come here, I wanna show you something.’” “She leads me into her bedroom and then into a secret crawl-space she found inside her closet one day, never a good thing. She turns on this electric lantern, and I shit you not” she paused here for a moment and said “it was wall to wall, with stolen hospital baby pictures.” “I look at her and I go ‘why…why are you like this’. She looks at me and she just says” Butterfly looked right over at Mercy and said “‘It’s one of those things that you can never truly replace’”

#movie house #meerkatART #meerkat writes #I hope you guys enjoy this

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betwixt-these-pages · 7 years

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Lost Girls, by Merrie Destefano Publication Date: January 3, 2017 Publisher: Entangled Teen

Yesterday, Rachel went to sleep listening to Taylor Swift, curled up in her grammy’s quilt, worrying about geometry. Today, she woke up in a ditch, bloodied, bruised, and missing a year of her life.

She doesn’t recognize the person she’s become: she’s popular. She wears nothing but black.

Black to cover the blood.

And she can fight.

Tell no one.

She’s not the only girl to go missing within the last year…but she’s the only girl to come back. She desperately wants to unravel what happened to her, to try and recover the rest of the Lost Girls.

But the more she discovers, the more her memories return. And as much as her new life scares her, it calls to her. Seductively. The good girl gone bad, sex, drugs, and raves, and something darker…something she still craves—the rush of the fight, the thrill of the win—something she can’t resist, that might still get her killed…

The only rule is: There are no rules.

Excerpt:

Chapter One

I remember last night perfectly.

I know what we ate for dinner. I know my little brother didn’t do his homework. I know Dad drove me to my ballet lessons, then waited for me in the Starbucks across the street.

I know that, later in the evening, I fell asleep when I was supposed to be studying geometry, my earbuds in while I listened to Taylor Swift’s latest album.

That was my yesterday.

The problem is, everyone, from my parents to my teachers to the police, says that stuff didn’t happen yesterday.

It happened last year.

I went to sleep with music playing, curled up on my bed, and wrapped in the afghan Grams knitted for me when she was on chemo.

I woke up in a ditch, half-buried in a pile of leaves. I was shivering and wet, a soft rain falling, icy drops hitting me in the face and running down my neck. Trees towered overhead, black branches scratching the sky, wind howling, and from somewhere nearby came the muted sounds of traffic.

I sat up, confused and scared, grogginess giving way to an intense adrenaline rush.

Then I screamed, louder than I thought I could. The sound ripped out of my lungs and wouldn’t stop; it went on and on until I thought I would collapse because I knew I couldn’t breathe and scream at the same time. And then—when I was sure I would fall forward, bent over at the waist, my lungs empty and spots dancing before my eyes—then I found some way to yell

again. At first my shouts were primal and there were no words, just terror and pain and a black pit in my stomach that wouldn’t allow me to have conscious thoughts.

I began to cry the same thing, over and over.

“Help! Somebody help me!”

I tried to stand, but the gully was so slanted that I kept falling back to my knees, every stumble forcing me to become aware of another injury—the raw skin on my wrists and ankles, covered with dried blood and stinging with each drop of rain; the muscles in my legs sore and weak, like I’d been running for days; the soles of my feet aching, my tennis shoes ripped and stained with mud.

I stretched out my arms, latching onto tree roots to gain my balance, and I pulled myself up the incline, foot by foot. Fingers now coated with mud, I perched on the edge of a highway, nearly blinded by headlights whenever a car sped past.

There I stood, waving my arms and screaming again, not knowing that my hair was matted or that there was blood and dirt on my clothes or that my photo had been on the news for the past two weeks.

Lost girl. Disappeared on her way home from school. Anyone with information, please contact the Santa Madre police department.

Two cars drove past, headlights splashing me with brilliant light. I hadn’t realized until now that the sun tipped on the edge of the world, ready to disappear, or that twilight shadows were already stretching across the horizon. Great pockets of violet darkness yawned between each pair of lights that hurtled toward me, greedy fingers of darkness that wanted me to tumble back into that gully and remain hidden.

Please, somebody stop and help me.

I was screaming again and some sort of weird survival panic took over.

I walked into the middle of the two-lane southbound road and stood there.

Go ahead, run me over. I dare you.

Wait, what was I doing?

Several cars spun to a stop, skidding sideways, tires squealing, metal crashing metal and rubber burning. The old me, the girl who fell asleep listening to Taylor sing about a broken heart, never would have done this. What was wrong with me?

My heart thundered in my chest, but I refused to move, even when the wreckage screeched closer and closer, fenders crunching, bumpers twisting, windshields shattering. I stared all the passengers in the eye, glancing from one face to the next, coolly noting that none of them were hurt—nothing beyond a bump or a bruise.

You. Will. Stop. And. Help. Me.

Still the wreckage surged forward. I merely lifted one hand, palm up, signaling for them to stop. Like I was a traffic cop or something.

Everything finally slid to a stop, a few feet away from me.

Tears coursed down my cheeks and I began to shake uncontrollably. I sank to my knees, truly myself again. Frightened and alone and lost.

“Help me,” I begged, then buried my face in my hands.

Car doors opened: a strange cacophony of voices tumbled out, some yelling, some speaking in hushed tones.

“What’s going on?”

“Is that the missing girl from the news?”

“9-1-1, we have an emergency here—”

“Honey, you’re gonna be okay, don’t worry—”

An elderly woman with white hair and bright, pink lipstick pulled me close and draped her coat over me. When I glanced up I saw blood on her forehead, but she didn’t seem worried about herself. She smiled down at me, her face a map of connected wrinkles.

“We’re gonna get you home to your parents,” she said. “Do you want to call them?” She handed me her cell phone, but my fingers were shaking too much to dial. I told her the number and she punched it in, waiting while it rang. When a voice answered on the other end, the white-haired woman said, “I have someone who wants to talk to you.” Then she handed me the phone.

“Hello? Who is this?” It was my mom, a frantic tone in her voice that brought fresh tears to my eyes.

My words came out shaky, with long pauses between.

“Mom?”

Neither one of us could talk, not for a long time, because we were both crying. Then she finally whispered my name, like it was a magical word that could change the world.

“Rachel? Rachel, baby, where are you?”

I looked around. “I don’t know.”

“You’re on the 39, just north of Azusa,” the white-haired woman told me.

Flashing lights spun in the distance and sirens blared. An ambulance and a fire truck and two police cars were headed toward us. I blinked at the brightness, shielding my eyes with one hand.

“Rachel? Are you still there?” It was my father’s voice now, calling me back to the cell phone.

I pressed it against my ear. “Daddy?”

“Honey, when the ambulance gets there, you get inside and you stay there. Do you hear me? Don’t get in a car with anyone else!”

“I will—I mean, I won’t. I’ll go with the paramedics.” My teeth were chattering and I was shivering so much I could hardly hold the phone. I think I may have started talking gibberish, half-sentences with little meaning. I remember saying something about my geometry test and worrying that I wouldn’t make it to class tomorrow and I may have mentioned something about my biology class, too, because Dad interrupted me.

“Rachel, are you talking about the class you took with Miss Wallace?”

“Yeah. She always gives exams on Wednesday.”

There was a long silence. I wondered if we had gotten cut off. Meanwhile, the ambulance doors opened and someone wheeled a stretcher toward me.

“Honey, you had geometry with Miss Wallace last year. When you were a sophomore.”

I frowned. “But I’m a sophomore now.”

“Baby girl, you’re a junior. Don’t worry about it. All this will get straightened out when you get home—”

I dropped the phone. My hands were shaking too much to hold it. I glanced down at my hands, at the chipped red nail polish. But I hadn’t been wearing nail polish last night and I never use this color. I turned my hands over and discovered a tattoo on my inner wrist.

A tattoo?

Always and forever. That’s what it said. But there was no redness or swelling. I didn’t get this tattoo anytime recently.

The paramedics helped me onto the stretcher, and then the world was rushing past me, rain falling on my face, people staring down at me as the stretcher wheeled by, the air thick with the smell of oil and gasoline and burned rubber. Then another smell came suddenly and violently—a memory.

A thick, cloying scent of pine and cedar.

My stomach lurched and I couldn’t stop.

I started screaming again.

Check out the TOUR SCHEDULE here!

Giveaway Information:

Blog Tour: All prizes listed below will be given to one prize winner. Prizes listed are for a US winner only; if an International winner is chosen, the prize will be a $50 Amazon gift card. • 1 – Kindle Fire Tablet, black: 7″ Display, Wi-Fi, 8 GB, 1.3 GHz quad-core processor, with the Alexa cloud-based voice service—just press and ask. • 1 – digital Kindle copy of LOST GIRLS • 1 – Pack of 14 vintage-style Swan Lake postcards • 1 – pr. Black Swan earrings, handmade by author • 1 – “Always” temporary tattoo

a Rafflecopter giveaway

About the Author:

CURRENTLY A FULL-TIME NOVELIST and magazine editor, Merrie Destefano’s next novel, LOST GIRLS, releases on January 3, 2017. Her other novels include AFTERLIFE and FEAST, both published by HarperCollins, and FATHOM, which was self-published. The editor of Victorian Homes magazine, she has also been the editor of American Farmhouse Style, Vintage Gardens, and Zombies magazine, and was the founding editor of Cottages & Bungalows magazine.

With 20 years experience in publishing, she worked for a variety of publishing/broadcasting companies that include Focus on the Family, The Word For Today, and PJS Publications (now Primedia). Besides editing and writing, her background includes print buying, writing/producing radio promos, directing photo shoots, developing new products, writing jacket copy for books, creating sales media packets and organizing direct mail campaigns.

Born in the Midwest, she currently lives in Southern California with her husband, two German shepherds, a Siamese cat and the occasional wandering possum. Her favorite hobbies are reading speculative fiction and watching old Star Trek episodes, and her incurable addiction is writing. She loves to camp in the mountains, walk on the beach, watch old movies, listen to alternative music—although rarely all at the same time.

Quick Reasons: life ruiner alert!; this book swept me up in a tidal wave of emotion, and refused to let go; awesome use of unreliable narrator; the mystery and intrigue was so beautifully-written and complex; this is a race head-first toward an explosive ending, and I adored every second of it; I need more of Merrie Destefano’s writing in my life

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life-ruiner

fishing for more

devoured it

entertaining

heartbreaker

Huge thanks to Merrie Destefano, Entangled: Teen, Netgalley, and the crew at Chapter by Chapter for granting me free access to a digital ARC of this title in exchange for an honest review! This in no way altered my read of or opinions on this book.

After TWO MONTHS of no 5 Penguin reads…I’m closing out 2016 with a very high note. It’s New Years Eve for another hour, penguins (or at least, it is for another hour where I’m living now), and I’ve just closed the page on this read…and let me tell you, it was QUITE the whirlwind journey. I started this read this afternoon, thinking I’d get partway through it as this review goes live next week on my blog…and found myself instead finishing it off in one sitting. And OH, my heartstrings. This book? This book is life-ruiner material, and it RUINED me.

So let’s talk nitty gritty, yes? I promise, I’m going to do my VERY VERY best to stray away from the icky spoilers territory…hopefully I can manage to convey how much I enjoyed this book, and the reasons why, without dropping some huge spoiler bomb or other. Hopefully. So…characters first, yes? Rachel is possibly one of the BEST, most effectively-written characters suffering from memory loss I’ve encountered in books in recent years. While I know this is a bit of a cliche trope…Merrie Destefano handles it so beautifully and makes it SO realistic, you’ll find yourself racing toward the answers instead of feeling bogged down by what little you actually know.

The focus on relationships throughout is also astounding and deliciously done. There’s a thin line between trust and paranoia that gets played on throughout this read, especially in Rachel’s case. She is, for all intents and purposes, the perfect unreliable narrator–and that makes it so easy for readers to both be enthralled by her, while also side-eyeing her. I give HUGE kudos to Merrie Destefano for managing this so beautifully; humans are complex and confusing creatures even on our best days, so adding in memory loss and internal conflicts only heightened such vast emotions.

I was blown away by the complexity of this read, penguins. Rachel–and her relationships with those around her–goes through so many shifts and changes, so many trials and tribulations, you’ll find yourself biting your nails, sitting on the edge of your seat, needing the answers as much as being scared of them. And the ending! The ending was just… I have to admit, I didn’t see where the plot was going until we were already on the downhill track and racing fast to the crashing point. This book surprised me–immensely. That’s not such an easy thing to do, in my world.

I am just… Speechless, might be the closest way to explain how this book left me after the close. Merrie Destefano explored some heavy-handed, important subjects (which I won’t get into, because SPOOOOOILERS, people) and wrote a complex, beautifully engaging whirlwind of emotions and life-ruination. I definitely recommend this to lovers of contemporary novels with huge bite, strong-willed characters who know how to keep fighting, and life-ruining reads that will leave them thinking, “woah.” THIS is one book you don’t want to miss out on in 2017; pick it up, and let the fight for survival begin!

Blog Tour, Excerpt, Giveaway, and Review: Lost Girls Lost Girls, by Merrie Destefano Publication Date: January 3, 2017 Publisher: Entangled Teen Yesterday, Rachel went to sleep listening to Taylor Swift, curled up in her grammy’s quilt, worrying about geometry.

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thiswrittingblogblows · 7 years

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(A Night of Hell)

She wakes up when the wind pushes her eyes open. It takes her some time to digest her surroundings - Her chestnut hair flies against her, floating a mere inch or so above the dark (ground? water?) rushing past beneath. There's a steady vibration thrumming under her chest, she's unsure whether it's her heart or her engine. Wait, her engine? That's not right; she doesn't have an engine, the car does. The car... that's what's moving her - she's in a car. But why is there so much wind in her face? Is the window ope-

Her nose smacks into the cup holder at the bottom of the door. The resulting crack replaces a light bulb, as she realizes that the window's not open, the door is; she is hanging out of the passenger side of a car. Her nose tingles sharply, then threatens to bleed. She instinctively tries to scream but instead inhales 3 deep breaths of inky nighttime. She senses her brain sending out threads of consciousness to determine the current geometry of her body: her legs are folded up and tucked under, probably secured by the bottom of the seat; her torso half-twists as her hips and her rib cage fall out of line, her hips with her legs and her chest with her head; her head, which is hanging out of the open passenger door, which miraculously does not continue its assault on her face, though the wind keeps goading it to do so. There's a pinching tightness on her wrists, which are crossed behind her back.

Fuck. Where am I?

Now is not the time to think back over the course of events; she's got to stay (relatively) composed and rational to figure out how to get herself back in the car, before she loses her head.

Why isn't whoever's driving trying to help me?

She writhes carefully, trying to pull her torso back into the car with the power of her abs but fearful that a slight shift in weight will send her tumbling out of the car. As it turns out, crunches are an effective form of exercise - she's able to get her abdomen and most of her chest back in. Now, she tries to pull her head in too. She tries pushing her head up using her right shoulder and neck, but her head smacks back down against the inner part of the door. Her face stinging and hot with pain, she writhes frustrated, determined to squirm her way in. She manages to grasp onto the track that moves the seat forward, and with all the might her tied arms can summon she begins to pull herself bac-

** White hot agony spreads over her face like blood. No wait, it is blood - her (nose? forehead?) is spilling warmth across her eyes and ears. What happened?

Suddenly, she is lifted and roughly dragged back into the car by the driver. She wants to thank him, but gags on the blood at the back of her throat when she inhales. Good thing too, because the driver clearly was not acting out of compassion. His face is violently red, he looks beyond pissed, he is absolutely livid. She worries that he's about to smack her, but instead a strange, sneering grimace comes over his face.

"Alexa, what the fuck?"

She stares, confused.

"You see, this is why I told you not to fight. Look at what you've done to your pretty face, how am I gonna perform now?"

He chuckles with a gust of gurgled breath.

"Ah ha, don't you worry pretty girl. I'll take good care of you."

He gently caresses her face, wiping away the red lenses blurring her vision. He grabs her by the chin, squishes her cheeks playfully.

"Look at me. I wan- ah, ah, hey, hey now, behave Alexa, or you will hurt more than you have to." A malicious smile slices his lips. "All that I'm saying is that I want what I paid for. What'd you say, '$150 and I'll do whatever you want'? Yeah, I think that was it. Well Miss Sexi Lexxy, this is what I want."

He shoves her out the open passenger then exits the driver's seat. She holds her breath as the crunch of his approaching dress shoes on the deceased leaves echoes dully in her wet ears. She yelps a little when he grabs her by the hair, yanking her upright into an awkward half-standing position, but the liquid she feels roiling in her lungs with each exhale silences her quickly.

"Atta girl, okay, now let's go for a walk; I don't know about you but I for one am tired of fooling around in the car!"

He drips a repulsive slime of laughter over the words; he is so clearly in his element, it seems as if the murderous rage Alexa read on his face when he pulled her back in was actually his body's reaction to a stifled peal of wicked laughter. As she stumbles along beside him, Alexa tries to work her wrists out of their bindings. Are these zip-ties? Fuck. She wonders if it's even worth trying to piece together the evening's timeline; she remembers certain parts, but it's as hazy as when she opened her blood-covered eyes.

"Oh so you're a quiet one. I wasn't quite sure, but I had you pegged as a silent type, guess I was right! Ha, I've gotten too good at this! Well sweetheart, I can help you in this area - you're probably trying to figure out what's gone on since the last time you were fully conscious? It's strange that about the time they start wrestling with the ties is when you whores want to know what got you here. The louder of you night ladies usually scream-cry the question at me, it's fucking hilarious. But you, the quiet ones, you bother me a lot. The fuck is wrong with you? Aren't you afraid of dying?"

Alexa muffles her sharp inhale of shock behind her teeth. What kind of question is that? Exactly the kind of question that answers the one I didn't ask. He's going to kill me. She is still testing the strength of the ties (update: they are still fucking strong) as her eyes roll around, scraping over the forest surroundings, trying to consume as much information as she can get about where she is and what's happened to her.

"Did you ever think it'd end this way? That your pathetic life would lead to you being murdered, rather than dying of syphilis or a coke overdose like the other sluts? Hmph, life is strange. Anyway, sorry for your face, I didn't think I'd hit you that hard plus you're a tiny little thing, god. But you almost got us killed, and that is not part of the plan here babe. Sure there'll be a killing, but only one of us is going to administer it. And I have to say I'm kind of disappointed, I thought you were a smart one, a rarity. What the shit could have convinced you that yanking the wheel would save you? I mean, was impressed by your method; your legs are quite flexible huh? Ha, probably useful in your line of 'work'. God, you've got me gabbing like a bitch, come on girlie, say something. Don't make me talk to myself for the whole trip."

Alexa's brain is flooding with images - with memories - triggered by her assailant's rant. She still can't trace the entire trajectory of the night but certain moments stab out of the torrent -

"Hey there lady, won't you please keep me some company?" "Anything I want huh? Hehe, I think I'll take advantage of that deal! Speaking of which, babe, $150? You're worth at least a grand, don't sell your body short!" *cackling*

"Oh no, no, shh shh, come on come on now don't fight it babe, it'll be easier on the both of us." "Dude I don't know who you are but you need to get the fuck off of me or I'll -" "Wow really? A threat? Come on 'Lexxi', you know you can't do shit. *sigh* "And here I was thinking you were smarter..."

"You little fucking cunt," he snarls. "You trying to get us killed? God I can't stand shit like that, I can't - what is it with you whores, you think you can solve any problem by throwing your body at it, fuck." Alexa's eyes watered with the sting of his knuckles on her left cheek. Her head connects violently with the door handle, and just before she passes out she thinks she hear a low click...

Now she can't hide it; she gasps audibly, which makes the man giggle gleefully, each breath soaked in blood. "Oh did you remember? Yeah, that was an adventure, wasn't it! For a second there I was worried you might kill yourself before I had the chance to! Good thing you're strong, for a hit like that you woke up in like a minute, really quick, it was surprising. But hey, made less work for me!"

The man lets out an effortful grunt, and Alexa feels the dirt bandaging her wounds as she tumbles to the ground. She has again fallen in a sort of half twist - she is lying on her side, hands bound behind her, knees pointing left to counterbalance the weight of her torso and right shoulder as she turns to look at her murderer. The red of her jacket makes her look like an oversized leaf, and the white faux wool lining is covered in dirt and smaller leaves. She hears a bass drum, the steady thud of her heart slamming itself against her chest in a panic; it's so violent she can see her thin black tank top shuddering with the beat. In a strange way, the position reminds her of making snow angels when she was a kid, or the struggle to pull herself out of a snow embankment into which she had just dived. Her hair is indistinguishable from the dark dirt around the base of the tree under which her murder is playing out, and she likes that; Alexa has always loved the woods, rolling around in leaves and then laying on her back admiring the sky, feeling like a part of the forest floor, like a part of nature.

Huh, your life really does flash before your eyes. Who knew?

The man looks down on her and licks his lips. Without a word, he unbuckles his belt as his eyes trace the curve of her breasts and hips. He kneels, pauses for a moment, then says "God I know I shouldn't, I normally don't, too risky to leave DNA, but you're just so beautiful, and well I did pay for 'anything' so..."

***

After the rape, Alexa opens her eyes. It takes some effort, because her eyes must fight through the paste of dirt, blood, and tears that has caked itself on her face. She had gone away while it was happening, happily reliving one particularly wonderful day she spent with her family at the beach when she was 8 years old. She imagines that death will feel like the sensation of rising out of a warm dream into the chill of the night air. He is buckling up again, and then, surprisingly, kisses her tenderly on the lips, almost like a lover sending his love away on a long journey. She almost smiles, but then the tears trace a track between the corners of her eyes and the tops of her ears. She doesn't know if she can control her facial features when she goes, but she wants to try; she will die with a smile on her face if she can.

The man is uncharacteristically quiet, somber. It seems he's contemplating if he really wants to kill her or not. No, no, he doesn't want to kill her, not this one, but he has to. There is no choice. With his own eyes threateningly stinging with potential tears, he kneels over her once more. Alexa flinches instinctively, and that almost breaks his heart. Almost. He does something he's never done before - he looks her in the eyes, his face stone but for the imperceptible shadow of pain that washes over it, and lovingly whispers, "I'm sorry."

The man's warm hands envelope her neck. Alexa smiles.

#tw: violence #tw: rape mention #short story #fiction #dark

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