#who knows when ill change again. could be 2 weeks could be 2 months.

[moonstruckme]

On Thin Ice

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

This was requested by anon, but I'm not including the request because I'm going to write at least one more part and I don't want to spoil anything. But thanks so much for requesting, anon my love! I'm really having fun with it :) Also, just a disclaimer that I know next to nothing about figure skating, so while I tried to look most things up, there may be some inaccuracies

summary: when your usual figure skating partner Regulus is injured, you're forced to prepare the most romantic routine you've ever done with Sirius Black. You've known Sirius since you were little and have always found him irritating, but as you spend more and more time together, your feelings towards him start to change

cw: mention of injury (no details), Sirius Black is a relentless flirt

Figure Skater!Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 3.3k words

You want to be kinder to your friend, but you’re a bit angry with him. You’re not great at hiding it, either.

“It’s not like I can fucking help it.” Regulus rolls his eyes, and you do your best to undo the petulant pout of your lips. 

“I know,” you sigh. “I know that. I’m sorry, it’s just, seriously? Why can’t Coach give me someone else?”

“You know why.” 

You blow out another huffy breath, because you do know, but that doesn’t make you like it any better. Sirius is our best bet, your coach had told you, firm and impassive to your protests. He’s great on the ice, he always scores well, and Reg can teach him the routine while they’re at home. If we used anyone else, we’d lose time while they learned it. You’d sulked, and he’d given you a stern look. So suck it up. 

And you’re trying. Kind of. You wouldn’t ordinarily consider yourself an ill-tempered person, but Sirius Black brings out the worst in you. Always has. He’s Regulus’ irritating older brother, always around to pull your pigtails when you were little and make fun of everything you and Reg enjoyed as you got older. And in everything you love about your best friend, Sirius is the opposite. Where Regulus is restrained, Sirius is brash; where Regulus is content with a few close friends, Sirius needs an entire posse around him at all times; where Regulus has a quick, quiet wit, Sirius seems to feel a joke isn’t worth telling if everyone can’t hear it. He’s loud and facetious and insufferable, and now he’s your partner in the most intimate routine you’ve ever done.

“I know,” you groan again, falling back onto Regulus’ bed. “I just wish I could change it. Who do I have to bribe to get you a miracle recovery?”

Regulus scoffs, but he lies down beside you sympathetically. “The doctor said it should be better by next season, but a fractured ankle doesn’t fix itself in a couple weeks.” His voice turns bitter. “Trust me, I asked.” 

You wince guiltily. You’re not the only one suffering from Regulus’ incapacity. You’d both been practicing this routine for weeks. It was one of the most challenging and showy either of you have ever done. You were both supposed to have the chance to really shine, showing off your skills with complicated jumps and throws, some of which you’d never attempted before. But now Reg wouldn’t get the change.

Ironically, it had been a fairly simple routine that had taken him down. One of your go-tos. You’d been performing it together for years, but maybe that sense of security was dangerous too. It’s too easy to land wrong, and one tiny slip had fractured Regulus’ ankle right in the middle of competition, forcing your coach to come help you get him off the ice. 

You’d cried more than he had as the on-site medics had inspected it, completely unhelpful but unable to bear seeing your best friend’s features twisted in agony. It turned out that was nothing compared to the look on his face when they’d told him he wouldn’t be able to skate on it for months. 

“How does it feel?” you ask, more gently now, and Regulus’ scowl softens in response. “Does it still hurt all of the time?”

“Not really, only when I walk on it. And they said I should be able to do that without much pain soon, just no jumping or anything.” 

Your heart aches with sympathy, and you have to resist the urge to reach over and touch his hand, his hair. Regulus has never much liked being touched, which you understand, but it makes him a difficult person to comfort. You resort to your method with the highest success rate: distraction. 

“Well, at least the cast is a fun accessory,” you say, forcing levity into your voice. “We could draw on it, it’ll be like having tattoos.” 

“Pass,” Reg replies disinterestedly. “Tattoos are more my brother’s aesthetic than mine.”  

“Ugh.” You roll your eyes, unable to stopper your irritation at the return of the conversation to Sirius. “Do you think Coach will let me have a new partner if I kneecap him?”

“If you’re going to kneecap someone,” comes a cool voice from the open doorway, “it’s probably best not to ponder your scheme so loudly in their house.” 

You raise your head to find Sirius leaning against the door frame, arms crossed insouciantly in front of his chest. He looks at you with the eyes he shares with his brother, but where Regulus’ tend towards cool grayness, Sirius’ always seem to waver between gray and blue, like the sky during a storm. They’re flashing now, amusement mingled with cunning, as you meet them with a glare. 

“Maybe I’m just giving you a red herring,” you say smoothly, “so you’ll never see my actual plan coming.” 

“I wouldn’t put it past you, shortcake,” Sirius replies, grinning when your face goes hot at the nickname, “but I think I’ll start wearing protective gear just in case. Reg, think you could revoke this one’s key until after the competition?”

Regulus pretends to contemplate this, staring up at the ceiling. “No, she’ll only start coming in through my window again.” You grin at him, and the corner of his mouth twitches in response, remembering all the cuts and bruises you used to have when you were younger from climbing the old tree outside his window, late at night when you were both supposed to be asleep. The first few times you’d tried, rotting branches had broken and fallen from beneath you, but you’d kept at it until you’d plotted a safe course. You’re sure Reg would have snuck downstairs to let you in the front door if you’d ask him, but better you get in trouble than him. “Anyway, it’ll be entertaining to watch.” 

“Whatever happened to brotherly loyalty?” Sirius feigns hurt, but gets past it quickly. “Well, I suppose you’ll just have to keep in mind that if I can’t perform, there won’t be a performance. I’ve already learnt half the routine, and I think you might struggle to find someone else skilled enough to catch up in time.” He winks at you, and you scoff, pointedly unaffected. “So I’ll see you at practice on Monday, sunshine,” he gloats, and disappears down the hallway. 

You wait until you hear the click of his door to lay back down, passing a hand over your face exhaustedly. “I can’t believe I’m going to have to deal with that all of the time,” you moan. 

Regulus chuckles wryly. “Welcome to my world.” 

☆ ☆ ☆

“Y/N,” Coach calls frustratedly. “You have to let him throw you, not jump.” 

You’ve almost just followed in Regulus’ footsteps for the upteenth time today, which isn’t exactly in line with your plan of getting Sirius injured, but you figure will do in a pinch. The truth is, your focus has been off all day. Switching to a new partner is always hard; you’re used to Regulus, you’ve spent years learning how to skate together, to anticipate the other’s movements, and finding that rhythm with another person takes work. But learning how to skate with Sirius is more challenging than even you had expected. He’s distracting, for one thing. He keeps smiling at you, making faces when you mess up, and whispering obnoxious little pointers when you’re in the middle of a complicated move. And his own movements are bigger and more elaborate than you’re used to, lacking Regulus’ control. You can see, objectively, how it works for him. It gives his performance that extra bit of artistry that Regulus has often been accused of needing, but it makes him more difficult to anticipate. He’s stronger than Reg, too, so he throws you higher, flings you farther, grips you tighter. It’s a lot to learn, but your coach doesn’t seem very sympathetic to your plight. As far as he’s concerned, you’ve wasted almost an entire day of practice and are undoing weeks of hard work learning the choreography with your repeated mistakes. 

You nod at him again, moving to reset, but Sirius slides in front of you. 

“Hey,” he says, “I can feel you tensing when I go to throw you. Is something wrong?”

You cross your arms in front of your chest, breath still puffing into the air between you from the exertion of your leap. “No,” you reply shortly. “I’ll fix it.” 

And really, you should have been able to fix it a dozen tries ago. You’ve practiced throws with Regulus for years now. You’re supposed to push down on Sirius’ shoulders, use the momentum of your spin to give you a little boost, and let him do the rest. But you can’t seem to manage the last part. Sirius’ hands on your waist had discomposed you from the first try, and you keep finding yourself trying to jump off the ground before he has a chance to lift you. It doesn’t work, you know it’s never going to work, but it’s like some fight-or-flight instinct takes over every time Sirius’ hands get close to you. You suspect it’s because you’re so used to Regulus’ touch aversion; this routine is meant to seem romantic, but between the two of you, it had always felt chaste, more about the mechanics of the movements than the meanings behind them. Sirius loves to be touched, though, probably too much. He teases you about how cold your hand is in his, the tentative way you touch his shoulder when you’re supposed to grip it, how you jolt a little when he rests his hand on the small of your back. You’re on edge every second he’s around you, which by the very nature of the routine, is often. 

And so you keep jumping, which causes Sirius’s throw to be stunted when he can’t get a good grip on you, which causes you to fumble your landing. Every. Time. 

“You can trust me, you know,” Sirius persists, looking half earnest for once in his life. “I’m not going to launch you too high or anything. Just let me do the work.” 

“I’ve got it,” you growl, and Sirius raises his hands in mocking surrender, moving out of your way. You glide back into position, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. You don’t need his advice, you’ve been doing just fine without it for years. You’ll get it on your own. 

☆ ☆ ☆

“Why is it,” Regulus drawls, coming into your room, “that when you mess up at practice, it’s still my problem to solve?” He sits on the edge of your bed, careful not to disturb the open bottle of nail polish you’re using. “I’m not even your partner right now, but both Coach and Sirius are complaining to me that you can’t sync up with him.” 

You keep your eyes on your fingertips, sweeping the brush across your nails in careful, measured strokes. “I’m working on it.” 

“What’s the problem?” He sounds more puzzled than frustrated. “Sirius is annoying, but he’s not actually an asshole. He won’t sabotage you.” 

“I’m not accusing him of anything,” you say. “I just…I can’t get it right. I don’t know. He’s so different to you, and I can’t figure out how to make it work.” 

“Well, you’d better figure it out soon,” Regulus replies, not without sympathy. “There’s only a couple of weeks until comp, and it seems like the both of you will need all the practice you can get together.”

You know he’s right, and that’s exactly what you’re dreading.

☆ ☆ ☆

The next practice goes about the same, the only difference being your coach’s mounting exasperation. Actually, no, there is one other change: Sirius’ movements become smoother, more sure, as he grows increasingly familiar with the choreography. 

So basically, he’s getting better while you’re getting worse. 

Though you all know there’s no time to waste with the competition coming up, Coach ends practice early in his irritation, letting you go with strict instructions to get your shit together before you meet again tomorrow. You promise him you’ll try, though you’re both coming to know that won’t be enough. 

You take your time unlacing your skates, shrugging on your jacket and stopping to buy a hot chocolate from the vendor up front before going out into the brisk autumn air. You’d started this new routine after your first practice with Sirius, stalling so that he’d have a head start and you wouldn’t have to walk home in the same direction, but you take two steps outside before you realize your plan has been foiled. 

“Coach will kill you if he catches you with one of those,” you say, and the cherry of Sirius’ cigarette burns orange as he takes a drag, eyes lighting with playful defiance. 

He blows the smoke away from you. “You won’t tattle on me though, will you, sunshine?”

“Reg won’t like it either.” 

“He knows,” Sirius says, as though Regulus’ opinion is of little concern to him. “You took your time in there. Ready to go?”

You don’t try to keep the suspicion from your face. “You were waiting on me?”

“I figure we could use some extra practice.” He drops his cigarette, stamping it out half smoked. “If you’re not too tired, I mean.” You give him an indignant look, and Sirius grins. “C’mon, it’s too cold out here for those leggings.” 

You follow him reluctantly, sipping at your hot chocolate because damn it, he’s right. The wind had been cool when you’d gone into practice, but nightfall has stolen the little bit of warmth the sun provided. You wouldn’t be surprised if you woke tomorrow to find the trees prematurely bare of their leaves. 

The Blacks’ house isn’t far, and your eager pace gets you there in a hurry. You’re thinking you’ll go to Regulus’ room as soon as you get inside, ditching Sirius and whatever humiliation he has planned for you, but when you approach the house, every window is dark. 

“They’re at my aunt’s for dinner,” Sirius answers your unasked question, unlocking the door. “I begged off because of practice.” He laughs as you follow him inside. “Try not to look so happy about it, shortcake.” 

You roll your eyes, starting up the stairs that go to the bedrooms. “When will Reg be home?”

“Late.” Sirius’ voice is close behind you. “You’re welcome to wait for him, of course, but we may as well make use of the time.” On the top step, you whirl, relishing the opportunity to look down on him for once. 

“Fine. What are we doing here?”

You don’t know if you’d hoped he’d be intimidated, but Sirius appears as unbothered as always. “Like I said. Practice.” He brushes past you, leading the way into his bedroom. After a moment, you follow grudgingly.

Like everything about Sirius, his room is loud. Almost every inch of wall space is covered in band posters, medals from competitions, pictures of his friends. There are clothes strewn across the bed and shoes scattered about the floor, but if Sirius is even conscious of the mess, he doesn’t mention it. 

“What did you have in mind?” you ask.

Sirius turns, and when his eyes meet yours, they’re surprisingly determined. “We need to figure out whatever it is that’s been holding you up,” he says. “We’ve gotta get past it.”  

You feel like stomping your foot, but very maturely refrain. You’re about done with the subject of your failures for the day. “I don’t know what it is.” 

“I think you do,” Sirius says cooly. “Wanna know how I know?”

“How?”

He grins. “Because you just admitted it.” 

“You—I just asked how,” you splutter angrily. 

Sirius gives you a knowing look. “Right, so it has nothing to do with you being afraid of me touching you?”

Your face heats. How could he know that? You look at him for a moment, and he looks back at you with that cool, even gaze, like he thinks he’s got you all figured out. As much as you resent him for it, he’s right. You’ve got no shot at a decent score in this competition if you can’t get past your mental block around Sirius. “I’m not afraid.” You roll your eyes, downplaying the admission. “I’m just not used to it, okay? I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but you’re not exactly a carbon copy of my usual partner.” 

Sirius grins again, and for the first time you get the sense that he’s laughing with you instead of at you. “I have been made aware of that a few times over our lives, yes. But okay, you’re not used to it. Let’s get you used to it.” 

You cross your arms over your chest, not sure where he’s going with this but fairly sure you won’t like it. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m going to throw you until you can handle it without flinching. Sound good?”

You look at him like he’s stupid. “The rink is closed, and there’s nowhere for me to land here.” 

“Sure there is.” Sirius pats his bed cheerfully. You stay right where you are. Something changes in his expression, and you think you might detect a bit of kindness behind his teasing tone. “C’mon, sweetheart. I don’t know what Reggie’s told you, but I don’t actually bite.” 

You huff, but go to stand in front of him. He’s shed his coat, revealing the plain black shirt underneath, and the sleeves grip his biceps. Even in the poor lamplight, you can see his eyes changing colors like schools of fish as they swim. Now blue, now gray. 

“Alright.” Sirius sets his hands on your waist, and you tense automatically. “See, that’s the habit we have to break. Relax for me, shortcake.” 

His words certainly don’t help, but you do your best, unclenching the muscles in your stomach and legs. 

“Perfect,” he says, then launches you into the air. You barely have time to gasp before you’re landing on his bed, springs squealing in protest. “Okay, next time, try to spin or something.” 

“I wasn’t ready,” you protest. 

Sirius laughs. “I know. Sorry, couldn’t resist. Let’s try to do it like practice this time, yeah? So you go over there,” he motions to the door, “and run towards me. When I throw you, try to spin if you can, but don’t try to stick the landing or anything. Just land on your butt.” 

You roll your eyes, moving to the door. “Yeah, I’m in no hurry to break my ankle like Reg, thanks.” 

He winks. “Just making sure.” He spreads his feet a bit, bracing himself. “Alright, let’s give it a try.” 

It’s easy to remember Sirius is an older brother when he gets all bossy like this, but you comply, gaining as much speed as you can on the way to him before he’s gripping you around the waist, tossing you into the air. You manage a half-turn before your back end hits the bed. 

“Better!” Sirius exclaims, beaming at you. “You still seemed a bit tense, but at least you didn’t try to jump by yourself. Again?”

You can’t help a little smile of your own as you nod, pushing up off the bed and repositioning yourself at the door. 

☆ ☆ ☆

When Regulus gets home, he finds you sprawled on Sirius’ bed with his brother sitting beside you, both thoroughly worn out. 

“Did you fix it?” he asks.

You grin at the ceiling, wondering if it’s your pride or Sirius’ you’re feeling in the air, or both. “I think so.” 

“Coach might get the chance to be mad at me instead, tomorrow,” Sirius laments. “My arms are fucking dead. Too many throws and I might drop you on the ice.” 

“Don’t break my partner,” Regulus says warningly. 

“Yeah,” you second, hauling yourself into a sitting position and going to meet Regulus at the door, “please don’t.” 

You can hear Sirius’ eyes rolling as he says, “I won’t. See you at practice tomorrow, shortcake?”

It’s harder than usual to muster up annoyance for the teasing nickname. “See you tomorrow.” 

#sirius black #sirius black figure skating au #figure skater!sirius #sirius black x reader #sirius black x fem!reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fanfic #sirius black fic #sirius black enemies to lovers #enemies to friends to lovers #enemies to lovers #sirius black imagine #sirius black scenario #sirius black fluff #regulus black #the marauders #marauders #hp marauders #marauders au #sirius black au #sirius black series

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Was i the asshole for "insinuating" my friend's husband attempted to poisoned me?

I 26cisf have always, since I was quite young, had a fear of people tampering with my food and drinks. If I leave a drink or food in a room with others, my immediate thought when I sit back down is to taste test it to see if it tastes different or see if it looks different. If it dose, I immediately throw it away, wash or get a new dish/bowl/glass/etc and get a new serving. This fear isn't unfounded as, when I was 7 or 8, my dad spit in my bowl of soup and I caught him. He hated me so this wasn't unexpected. Later in life I had 2 different abusive partners threaten to drug me and as a result, all food is suspicious the moment it's left alone with anyone. I've done this to my husband on occasion and he understands.

Earlier this month, I, my husband 26tm, a friend of mine 25cf and her husband 53cm all had a nice dinner together at my apartment. Later on in the evening, our husbands went to play on his xbox in the living room while me and my friend had a drink in the kitchen. The kitchen "ends" right where the living room begins so they were on a couch about 15ft away from us, again, its an apartment. I've been friends with her since middle school so I have no reason to suspect her but her husband is creepy towards me and our mutual friends of our age and is much older than her. I put up with him for her sake and never made an ill comment other than a week after they started dating with concerns about their age gap. My friend and her husband dated for about 8 months and have been married for about 4 months. My husband and friend left so he could show her some break time levels from Mario wonder on the switch in our room while her husband sat on his phone on the couch. My husband mentioned it over dinner, my friend showed interest but wasn't sure so he offered to show her.

I felt ackward and had to pee so I went to the bathroom and when I came back, her husband had changed positions on the couch and I'm pretty sure my drink wasn't in the same place I left it by 2 to 4 inches. I was instantly nervous and took a sip and it didn't taste right. As I was pouring out my drink in the sink, my husband and friend came back and she saw me doing it and glanced once quickly at her husband. I barely turned my head so I'm not sure how she realized I suspected him a little. She knows about my fear and knew how I handled it a few times when I feared she had done something however.... Apparently doing this while mildly suspecting her husband was too far and she absolutely exploded on me out of no where.

She said I was implying her husband was a rapist or abuser or creep and that it was two faced of me to invite people over who I thought might poison me or fuss with my food. She said I always take that fear too far in public settings, which isn't true as I've never done this with groups of people bigger than 3 or 4 friends nor do I vocally accuse them. I just reset my food and move on as it eases my anxiety about it. Her husband got super defensive and started getting my face and my husband diffused the situation by sending them both home. My friend blew up my phone that night and eventually she blocked me for a week before coming back to apologize for her actions but asking me to apologize to her husband for making him feel bad. I told her it was her who made it seem like I was accusing him, not me for doing something she's seen me do a million times.

Eventually it went away but every time I see her, she asks if I'm going to apologize soon but I'm just not sure if what I did was really as offensive as she made it seem. I don't genuinely believe that he tried to poison or roofie me but if there's even a 10% chance, my anxiety is through the roof and I pass out if I just try to push through. No one else, after knowing this fear, has taken it personally as it's just the remains of trauma and fundamentally harmless. Once I'm reset, I often totally forget the scare and they've acted like nothing ever happened. Was i the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[d4rkpluto]

i've returned to post about a particular subject i've been fighting to or not to post, because i used to consider this person the closest person in my life and i even considered her as a best friend and a sister.

and we have fallen out and apologised to each other many times, but perhaps whenever we argued it was life telling me that she is not supposed to be in my circle. and you could be wondering why am i bringing this up and telling tumblr this but im telling tumblr this to be aware of @couerardent and her scamming behaviour.

couerardent also known as MYSTIICWINTER OR MYSTICWIINTER.

talk about WORSE SERVICE I HAVE EVER GOTTEN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

[other people have come to me and spoke about how bad her services were, but i tried to overlook it because i really cared for her, lessoned learn]

i have always been empathetic towards ardent and her money situation, but there are moments when excuses turn into reasons to not do something. on august, i sent alex money because she needed it, but she also said in return she will give me 4 packs she usually gives her clients and she told me she would give me my money back.

first pack is "tell me your story."

second and other packs she hadnt told me what they were but she informed me that i'll be receiving them weekly since august, and now its november.

at first i was empathetic, since i used to be close to ardent, i knew she went through a lot of stuff at home, so i was patient. until august turned into september, and september turned into october and then october turned into novemeber.

and slowly i became annoyed, [as i should] because her services arent even long or good, as someone who gives chart readings to other people that consists more than fourteen pages, the effort to write that would take long, but ardent doesnt even give five pages for her services, three at most, so why is it taking her so long?

previously, she has joked to me about scamming other people, but would put the blame on them and not want to take accountability until they start using threats to expose her, i think she deleted the making fun of scamming them but here is some of it:

and when i would message her for updates about my reading because it'll take months, she would ignore me and even change her pfp on tumblr or discord, until i reach out to her on more platforms to get her attention.

and what would annoy me even more is that she would talk about how she never has something to do or would focus on other stuff knowing she needs to get my reading done lmao and this would be like 1-2 months after i was supposed to receive any of it lol.

worrying about the layout for almost 3 months PLEASE.

i have received 1/4 readings, and that was now almost 2-3 weeks ago, we should've been on my 2nd or 3rd reading by now, the only reason i have received 1 reading is because i did threaten to expose her if she didnt send the money or reading my way, because even i had some issues because living in london has gotten really difficult and i have been trying to support my family as much as i can, but im doing better right now.

its all about the principle. and she has none of that. and even attempted to victimise herself and behave like she was in distress whenever she got called out about her behaviour.

she lost track of time, the time being 3-4 months lol.

and when i was speaking to her she ignored me for a bit again ha, it was almost comedic. for almost two weeks she didnt try and check what i was speaking about.

she has gotten ill, but this was still months after.

and i have remembered, she has used much of her earned money to fund for her nose job but also uni, but during the moments it was best to pay me back was at the job she said paid her well, she informed me that when she gets paid by her job she'll pay me back, and she never did and ended up quitting the job.

[the unfairness i was speaking about is how uni her country dont do student finances, she's from romania, because they do in the uk it was just a surprise].

i asked her recently on how i was supposed to receive a reading but she didnt reply but change her pfp on whatsapp and discord, again.

if there is any confused people comment please because i did this half asleep lmao

#tarot #tarot community #pick a pile #pac #romance #astrology #pick a card #pick a photo #future spouse

[ahundredtimesover]

love love love the plm jealousy drabble! can you also write a super needy, subby plm koo 🥹 only if you have the time and energy! Tysm 🫰🏻

This is 5 months late but here it is - my take on "subby" Koo even if I do not know how to write this kind of dynamic. But I tried with CK JK in mind so I hope you like it. There's also lots of fluff and teasing and walking down memory lane and this is me, making up for the past 2 angsty parts. 🙂

Title: Please Love Me Bonus (09) - The Lake House

WC: 16,648

Tags/Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, past illness; CK JK, lots of teasing and fluff; talks of past sexcapdes; explicit sexual content ("subby" JK & OC trying to be a "dom" (??), mutual masturbation, thigh riding, oral (m & f receiving), straddling, fingering, lots of kissing, penetrative sex, creampie??) (18+) I’m obviously unsure of my smut pls forgive me 😅😅

Series Masterlist

“Am I making your heart flutter again, Mrs. Jeon?”

Jungkook smirks as he asks, his body turning towards you when he reaches the stoplight. 

Seated on the driver’s seat with his one hand on the wheel and the other one on yours, you shyly smile, knowing you’ve been caught, even if you weren’t really hiding your obvious attraction for your husband on this specific day. 

He’s got the short sleeves of his plain white shirt rolled up, his arm tattoos looking bright under the summer sun. His hair is curlier than usual as it’s grown longer, and paired with the denim jeans that you asked him to wear, he’s an absolute stunner. 

“You know the answer to that, hun,” you giggle, briefly looking away before he tugs your hand to look at him again.

“I wanna hear you say it, baby,” he urges, his eyebrows wiggling now. 

You know that he’ll take any chance he has to hear you confirm that you’re ogling him, and well, you’ve told yourself that you’ll do that every few times just to see him be a giggly mess. 

“You are, Kook,” you concede. “My heart’s non-threateningly leaping out of my chest right now. You’re so handsome and you’re so happy; it’s my favorite version of you.”

“Ah, I thought post-shower Jungkook is your favorite,” he teases. “But you also said that about post-sex Jungkook, and post-gym Jungkook, and Jungkook with his glasses on, and—”

“Oh stop it,” you laugh, getting flustered at him pointing out just how weak you are for him. He’s not wrong, though. “They’re all my favorites.”

“You can’t have more than one favorite though,” he playfully rolls his eyes. 

“So then what’s your favorite version of me?” You ask, challenging him.

“The present one,” he winks. “Today’s you is my favorite as of today; yesterday’s you was my favorite as of yesterday, and then the day before that was… you get my drift. Each one has been my favorite and it changes everyday.”

“You’re a cheater,” you shake your head. 

“I am a lover, babe. I love every version of you.”

You cover your face as you feel embarrassed for you and him, and you’re glad you’re the only two people who are witnessing your husband be incredibly cheesy, which happens every once in a while. You know he does it to make you laugh but you also know there’s truth to the things he says, no matter how cringey they could be sometimes. He loves you that way, and you like that he does.

“Do you love the version that upsets you, too? And that cries and gets sad when you’re away?” You wonder out loud, knowing that any reference to your recent fight and its aftermath doesn’t hurt you both as much as it used to. 

It was two weeks ago when he took the 4-hour drive from Busan to Seoul to be with you, and you’ve both been more comfortable talking about the things that hurt since then. It’s how you managed to get back to how things were, playfulness included. 

“Of course, babe,” he says, more serious and softer now. “I love you even when I’m angry. And even if it’s hard to see you cry, I love it when I get to hold you again. And then, you know, we have sex and then you talk dirty to me.”

“Kook!” You squeal, feeling your cheeks warm at the reminder. 

You’re rarely ever vulgar during sex, letting Jungkook take the reins in all ways including vocally, but that night, you felt so much desire that you just wanted to push him a little, perhaps make him feel how he makes you feel, and your words did what you wanted them to. He came so hard and you basked in the joy that you could do that to him. Thinking about it now makes you shiver, and you truly can’t wait for the long weekend you’ve been afforded to go out of town and be together, knowing what you’ll be doing most of the time.

“Why are you shy about it?” He chuckles, taking your hand from your face and kissing it. “It was so fucking hot, okay? And since you don’t do it much, it surprises me whenever you do, and that’s just… shit I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”

“Honey, behave,” you laugh, although the thought that he could get turned out at the memory of that night makes you giddy. Perhaps that version of you could show up in the next few days. 

“I will,” he smiles sweetly now. “But you know it doesn’t matter, right? You could just be lying in bed and sounding the way you always do and that’s all I need. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. Just you.”

Your nose scrunches as you try to temper your smile, but it gives him more reasons to tease you.

“Your heart fluttering again?” He wiggles his eyebrows now.

You pout in response and he can’t help but laugh, and the sound of it warms your heart in ways you can’t fully express. You were without it for weeks, as you recall the days following your stint at the hospital, how Jungkook had been cold to you until things blew over, and how he was distant right after because he didn’t know how to handle all his conflicting emotions towards you. Looking back now, your biggest fight since getting married was because of how much love you both have for each other, and that says a lot about how far you’ve come. 

Despite the weeks since then having been tough for Jungkook because of the meetings and project preparations he had to manage, he made sure to go home to you, hug you every night, message when he can’t call, and let you know that he needs you even when he’s just about ready to pull his hair from stress. And you were there, letting him lay on your chest, massaging his head, and kissing him constantly to let him know that you’ll weather the storm with him, no matter how tough things get. 

After getting things going and delegating the tasks for his project, Jungkook got the approval from his father to get two days off, which is why you’re both on the way to Busan, having missed home so much. You’ve both only visited since you got married but never stayed long enough to go around, and like what you both promised each other, you’ll make new memories in the places that hold unpleasant ones. Home felt the same but you’re both different now, and the flirty smile that Jungkook gives you is evidence of that. 

Perhaps it’s his feeling of temporary freedom that makes him look a lot more handsome today; he’s smiling and laughing and teasing, and it’s when his youthfulness shines. Perhaps it’s the way the sun highlights his caramel skin, or the way his curls fall on his shoulders, or maybe it’s the casual look that isn’t his usual sweatshirt and joggers ensemble that’s making him look even more irresistible. Maybe it’s everything, as he bops his head to the sounds of his playlist, his carefree vibe somehow making him glow. 

Maybe you’re just as excited, and so everything he’s done since this morning is probably just preparing you for what’s to come. 

You’d stopped to watch him dress up earlier and commented that he could be a jeans and underwear model, and he’d laughed, saying that in contrast to his younger years, he no longer feels comfortable walking in his boxers around strangers. He had to clarify that he joined some community fashion show during one of his backpacking trips because his companion convinced him and he was a hit; everyone was cheering and then flirting with him afterwards. He’s done with that, he’d said. You’re the only one he wants to see him that way; he’d give you a private show if you wanted, he teased. 

During your stopover at a cafe for breakfast, he was sitting on the chair with his legs spread wide while sipping his coffee, and you allowed yourself just about a minute to imagine climbing on his lap and marking his pretty neck while he moaned your name. 

And this whole drive, he’d been nothing but a tease - combing his hair with his fingers, dragging his tongue along his lips just because, and singing along to love songs while smirking at you. All the while, you’re smiling like a giddy teenager admiring her crush, and Jungkook makes sure to call you out on it. But you don’t mind, really, not when he stops at a shoulder on the road just to kiss the pout off your face and tell you that he becomes such a giddy mess every time he sees you be a mess yourself for him.

“Kook,” you whine against his mouth, wanting it all over you even if you know it’s not the time nor place. “We have to go to our grandparents’. You know they don’t like it when we’re late.”

“They miss us too much to get angry,” he argues, as he presses kisses down your neck. 

“We’re still out on the road and in public,” you counter, panting now as your pleasure increases. “And I don’t want to go into that lunch with messy underwear because that’s what’s about to happen. Please, hun, I—” your moan cuts you off when his fingers press onto your clothed pussy, feeling now the effect he has on you. 

“Hmm, baby,” he groans, suddenly frustrated at not being able to do anything more right now. 

He shouldn’t have teased you like this but he also couldn’t go on another minute not kissing you after you looked at him the way you’ve been all morning. There’s this perpetual desire in your eyes, as if you’re savoring every action that he makes, perhaps coming up with scenarios in your head that he hopes you’d play out once you’re both alone. He suddenly wants to fast forward to tonight for that, knowing it’ll take you until the early hours of the morning to get fully satisfied. 

“We should save all this energy for later, okay?” You say, taking his fingers that felt you up in your mouth, wanting to get back at him but also wanting to excite him; his hardened gaze says you succeeded. “In the meantime, we have to act like the precious, wholesome couple that our grandparents think we are.”

“Hey, we’re wholesome sometimes,” Jungkook laughs, willing himself to pull away from you and continue driving. “But, uh, do you think they’ll ask us about having children again? I don’t really know what to tell them; we can’t really ask them to not be on our business like we can with our parents. I just don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“I know, same here,” you sigh. “But Mother told me that she told them not to bring it up, since I have to focus on getting healthy again after what happened. Hopefully our grandparents won’t hound us about it.”

“If they do, then let’s just be honest.”

“And say what?”

“That we’re living our best lives and we’ve decided to let life surprise us,” Jungkook says. “And that it’ll come. And when it does, it’s gonna be really special because we prepared ourselves for it. Because that’s what we’re doing, right?”

“It is,” you smile, liking how he’s able to talk about having children in a casual manner now, with less of the fear and more of the excitement. 

You may still be just letting things take its course - with some false alarms along the way - but the challenges in between have been helpful in preparing yourselves for eventually starting a family. You know that when it happens, it’s going to be everything you imagined it to be. 

Your grandparents’ estate is not far from the beach. They bought a humble home in this area decades ago and slowly expanded the property by buying the surrounding land, until they were able to build a large main house with smaller living quarters for when their children and grandchildren visit. 

The garden is large and well-designed. You claimed a section of it when you were young. It’s where you had your playhouse set up because playing in it was the only thing you could do; you weren’t allowed to run around like Seokjin and Soyeon were. There was a spot where you laid your mat to play with your dolls; as you grew older, it became the place where you’d read books or paint or draw. The playhouse is still there, a little old and rusty but you imagine your future children playing in there one day. 

There’s a tall tree in the center and you stand underneath. It’s the one that used to shade you when you would watch your siblings play with the Jeons. 

Apparently, it’s also the spot of your first picture with your husband, as you find out from your grandparents. Your grandmother holds an old photo they recovered from one of their albums - you and Jungkook at 2 years old, standing next to each other, with him in a red hooded jacket and you in a yellow sundress. There’s distance in between, but you’re both posing the way little kids do, and you can’t stop gushing over how adorable you both looked.

“Honey, look at us!” You giggle. “Two years before you started disliking me.”

“You mean, 2 years before you rejected me?” He counters, pouting at you. 

You both pose the same way for another photo - Jungkook with a peace sign by his head and you with your close-lipped, sweet smile - and lay the polaroid next to the old picture, over 25 years apart. It’s amazing how things play out, you think to yourself as you gaze at them. Life does surprise you, and realizing it decades later is a different kind of special. 

Jungkook makes you take another photo so he has a copy, and you indulge him, knowing he gets pretty sentimental about these things. He said once that he wishes he had more of your joint childhood to remember and treasure, but much of that only lives in your mind because you’re the one who always paid attention; he was the one who tried not to mind you even if you were right next to him, the jealousy clouding his mind. Which is why whatever piece of your past he finds, he’ll take it, if only to put together the puzzle of your lives back then, and smile because even if he doesn’t remember much of that, he remembers everything about this - your now and everyday.

He goes through other old photo albums of your grandparents, telling his grandparents that he’ll check their stack as well when you both visit on your last day. It’s stories of the yesteryears that fill the air as you finish your meal, and you’re thankful that everyone is immersed in the stories to even bring up your sickness or your future family. 

The sound of Jungkook’s laughter fills your heart once more, and as he pulls you close under that same tree for a kiss, you think that it’s another new memory you’re going to hold dear.

Pulling up to the side of the road, Jungkook turns off the engine and meets you by the railings overlooking a semi-private beach. It’s one of several in town and Jungkook’s favorite. This is where he first learned to surf and he spent much of his time here with Jimin and Taehyung.

He tells you this as you both walk down the steps to get to the shore, reminiscing the days when things were much simpler.

“So that’s why you chose this for your 13th birthday party,” you say, looking around. “It’s gorgeous, Kook.”

“You knew I had it here?” He looks at you curiously, immediately thinking that Junghyun had told you.

“Yeah, I could tell from that big rock,” you say, pointing to it near the shore. “You had photos there and your brother told me how your mom was yelling at you to not jump from it. I… I asked him to show me pictures when he visited me at the hospital. I told him I wanted to see how happy you were.”

“You were recovering from surgery but you were still thinking about me, huh?” Jungkook says, a sigh almost escaping his lips at the thought. 

“You were really excited about it and I was sad I couldn’t go. If I was strong enough, I would have, but I guess you wouldn’t have noticed either way,” you laugh, knowing that Jungkook didn’t pay much attention to you then.

“I was pretty bitter, actually,” he admits. “You were supposed to be family but you didn’t come - that was the thought in my head. Silly, right? And pretty childish.”

“You didn’t know, Kook,” you assure him. “So you were looking for me?”

“Sort of,” he laughs. “I was being petty. I remember not wanting to ask hyung where you were so I never did, but I just chalked it up to you never attending parties anyway, so what would be different about me?”

“Yours was the only party I would actually go to, but I didn’t want to be the boring girl to you who just sat at the table while everyone enjoyed,” you reason. “So I never went to the ones after that. I always wanted to, though. But that doesn’t really matter now, does it?” You turn to him and smile before you wrap his arms around your waist. “I’m literally family and we’re here together. I think this is a nice good memory to make.”

“It is,” he says, kissing your cheek. “I’m glad I took you here with me. Immature 13-year old Jungkook can get over it now. If I told him I’d be marrying you 12 years later, he’d probably cuss me out.”

“You were cursing at 13?!”

“Yeah. Don’t tell my Mother.”

You laugh together as you head back to the car, the late afternoon heat starting to prick at your skin. It’s been a long day but you’re nowhere near done. You take the half-hour drive to your home for the next few days, a place that holds a lot of unpleasant memories for you, which is why you insisted on staying there. 

One of the Jeons’ beach houses would’ve been an easy choice, but when you told him where you wanted to go, he immediately understood. 

With your luggage bags in his hands, Jungkook looks around the graveled pathway and at the cabin in front of him. “So this is the place, huh?”

The place, he repeats in his head - the one where you found refuge in when you wanted to be away from him after he’d hurt you. That fight before your wedding was years ago but sometimes, it still feels like not much time has passed. He gets to see where you spent your days though, and while that may remind you of how hard it was back then, you could at least remember it now as a place where you both spent your weekend together. 

“This is the main house,” you say, ringing the doorbell and greeting the caretaker who welcomes you. You smile at the lake view just across; it calms your senses as it did all those years ago. “They only allow a small percentage of land to be used for residential purposes. When my siblings and I got older, my parents wanted to give us our own spaces, so they bought the surrounding areas so we can build our own houses however we want.”

You walk out to a covered pathway that leads you to your own piece of paradise - a one-floor home with a veranda that’s overlooking the lake. It has an open floor plan with the kitchen and dining on the left of the entrance. At the center is a freestanding wall that separates the sleeping area from the living room, both spaces having a good view of the water. The corner on the left houses your painting materials, giving you access to the outside where the magic happens. 

There’s a stretch of land down the steps towards another walkway that juts out to the lake, and as you lean by the railing, you take in everything that you see. It’s been years but a lot of things look the same, and just like this city, it still is; it’s you and the man next to you who are different.

“So what did you do while you were here?” He asks, trying to imagine how you spent your days while he wasted away in your apartment in Seoul.

“I… cried,” you admit. “I was upset but I still missed you. But I also painted a bit, read books… Most times I just sat here. It’s so picturesque, you don’t really get tired of it. It helped because I kept thinking about you being alone and worried even if I wasn’t ready to speak with you then.”

“I was thinking of you a lot back then, too,” he says, facing you now and taking your hand. “I hated that you were alone and I didn’t know how to get to you. But I guess I should thank this place, too, for letting you breathe and letting you think. Is that how you forgave me?”

“It was,” you smile. “After my emotions settled, I thought that one day, I’d like to bring you here. I’m glad I could do that now.”

Jungkook smiles at you softly before his eyes turn desirous. “So are you gonna paint and read books and just sit out here this time, too?”

“Hmm, I could,” you smile back. “But I was also thinking of making love to you here. I think that would be nice.”

“It would be,” he hums, cupping your cheek now and pulling you in for a kiss. “We could probably start now, huh?” 

His free hand sneaks inside your dress to cup your breast, and you jerk when he flicks your pert bud and you’re taken out of his spell. 

“Honey, I’d love that but we have a dinner reservation soon,” you say, pulling away. “It’s jazz night and we said we’d catch that.”

Jungkook doesn’t look disappointed. He agreed with tonight, after all, and he thinks he’d just be craving more and more if you started anything right now, so he lets you go for a shower while he unpacks his things.

He looks out the water as the sun starts to set and spots the two other houses not far away. It seems as though those have been renovated, with extra rooms for your siblings’ kids now, and Jungkook wonders when you’ll have your own place extended for another room. 

He lets the thought settle in, as he continues to get used to the idea of having a family with you. It would be nice, he imagines, driving off during long weekends to come here and enjoy the scenery and just spend time together. Your children would grow up knowing their great-grandparents, running around the same garden and beaches that he did, perhaps playing with your old toys, too. He knows those have been preserved at your request, waiting for the perfect time to give them away.

You call out to him and he turns around to find you in a simple linen dress, the neckline low enough for your tattoo to make an appearance. You look stunning, as always, and he has to stop himself from pulling you for another kiss. 

He gets ready and goes out in a white button-up long-sleeve polo, loose enough for the cool summer evening. He catches you staring at him again, and he smirks at you to let you know that once dinner is over, your long night will begin. 

The restaurant is just 10 minutes away by car. It’s fancy yet still cozy, serving some of his favorite elevated local dishes. The jazz performance is great, and with a small crowd, the singer encourages the guests to take the dance floor and that’s what Jungkook does, taking your hand and asking you to dance with him. 

You’re shy at first but give in. Flushed against his chest, you both sway more than anything, and inhaling his ocean scent while he caresses your back, you feel that warmth that only his love can give, the kind of warmth you’ll constantly seek. 

You finish your glass of wine before you head back to the car, with Jungkook laughing over something on his phone right before you leave, saying that the guys’ group chat is blowing up.

“What are they up to now?” You ask. 

“Tae did this stranger role play with his girlfriend,” he shares. “You know, when they pretend like they don’t know each other and pick each other up?”

“O… kay. And then?”

“He got made up to look like some old Hollywood actor with the red jacket and slick hair and all. And people flocked to him to flirt before he could even get to his girlfriend. I can imagine she wanted to stop it all right then,” Jungkook narrates. 

“Why don’t they just stay at their place and flirt there?” You say. “They can even dress up if they want to. Why go through the struggle?”

“Because it’s fun!” Jungkook exclaims. “There’s a kind of thrill from doing that, especially in a public place. The usual role play can get a bit over-the-top sometimes.”

“And you know that because… you’ve done it?” You ask, ready for his answer because you’re used to him just casually mentioning his previous sex adventures by now.

“Just the usual,” he shrugs. “Boss-secretary, doctor-patient… She was into it and I went along because sure, why not?”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Is that a trick question?” He asks, as he parks the car.

“No…” you answer. “I’m just wondering if role playing is something you like. If it is, then we can, I don’t know. Maybe try?”

He furrows his brows at you as you both enter your house, curious as to why you’re suggesting it when he knows it’s something that would make you uncomfortable. 

“Or like… uh, what else could we do?” You wonder out loud.

“Baby, we don’t have to do anything else,” he says, pulling you by the waist now. “If this is about you wanting to be ‘adventurous’ to appease me, then I’m gonna stop you right there.”

“I was just curious,” you pout. “I mean, it’s no secret that you’ve done a lot of these… ‘adventurous’ things with your partners - sex in a tent, in an alley, behind a waterfall… a sex show, and role playing as well? I guess I’m just wondering if you want us to do something exciting, too. If you’re still into that.”

“Baby, why would I want something else ‘exciting’ when I’ve got you?” He says, his onyx eyes boring into you to let you know that he means every word. “I married the prettiest girl in the world. Why would sex with you not be exciting? You know how fast I get hard with you. That’s… that’s exciting.”

You feel your cheeks warm again because he’s right. He does get hard pretty fast. 

“Plus, we’ve skinny dipped, had sex in a caravan, in the car, on a deck…” he continues. “But to be honest, you could just be lying down and I’d be all set.”

“That’s literally all I do,” you laugh embarrassingly. 

He’s always known that you like things simple. Sure, you give in to Jungkook’s requests, but most of the time, you settle for the same positions that you know give so much pleasure. You’re content; you just wonder if he is, too.

“Not all the time,” he corrects. “And those are just as exciting as when you’re coming undone under me and moaning my name, your perfect tits bouncing and your tattoo reminding me how much you love me.” He kisses your neck and you sigh in satisfaction at the movement. “I could get hard just thinking about that.”

You merely hum in response, not able to move on from it. You want to surprise him, maybe go out of your comfort zone to excite him differently, and so your wandering mind continues, something he picks up.

“Okay. Why don’t you… take control this time,” he suggests. “It’s nothing crazy. It’s just you directing me what you want me to do, how you want me to do it… anything.”

“That’s fine, hun, except there are times when I try to do that but you get so impatient and touch me right away,” you counter, chuckling now as you recall the times you direct him what position you want but his mind goes blank once things intensify and so he’s got his mouth and fingers inside and on you in seconds. 

“Fine, then we’ll do it without me being able to use my hands, then,” he says. “I’ll only use them when you ask, and stop when you ask. Are you okay with that?”

Your mind thinks of all the scenarios you’ve been playing in your mind all day, and you lick your lips in anticipation. 

“Looks like you are,” he says proudly, excitedly. “I guess then, we can start?”

You nod your yes. “You’ll be good for me?” 

“Fuck, yes,” he groans, his eyes widening in anticipation. “I’ll be so good for you, baby.”

“Kook, that wasn’t meant to be dirty talk or whatever,” you giggle. “I just meant that you’ll be good in following the instructions you set out.”

“Don’t care baby. Don’t take it back. But say it again, please?”

The way his eyes plead does something to you, and so you let your inhibitions go and follow what your pussy says. And right now, it wants to command Jungkook. 

You bite your lip before kissing him softly on the neck, trailing up until you reach his ear.

“You’ll be good for me?” You whisper sultrily this time.

He releases an incredibly deep grunt before he answers. “Yes, baby. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Okay,” you pant, feeling your heart race now. “Kiss me. Just kiss me.”

Your mouths crash against each other, desperate and wanting in their movements. Your tongues fight for dominance but he lets you take this, liking how you aggressively take him in and pull his hair, causing him to moan, even more as his hands remain at his sides, aching to touch you but he promised he’ll be good; he promised to let you take control even if all he wants right now is to rip off your clothes and make out with your body. 

You moan as well, slowing down now as you try to catch your breath. You face him, your eyes glassy and your lips swollen, and he seems to like what he sees. You take his balled-up fists and unclench them, placing them over his top. 

“Undress please,” you say softly. “And do it slowly.”

Jungkook follows, his fingers working on the buttons carefully, skillfully, making sure you get to see and remember what those digits could do to you. He can’t wait for you to direct him to work those on you later on. 

He gets everything undone and so he removes it - slowly, as you asked. 

You gaze at his toned body, crafted by immaculate beings themselves as they created him so perfectly - the tautness of his chest, the line down his torso that branches out to his abs, the narrowness of his waist, all complementing the gorgeous face that you also can’t get enough of. 

His jeans hang right underneath the white band of his underwear, and though you love this look on him, you like something better. 

“Pants off,” you say this time. 

And he follows, undoing the button and unzipping his jeans, pushing them off him until they pool on his ankle. His feet do the work of ridding himself of the heavy material, and all the while, his eyes are set on you - dark with lust and challenging you to do more, to ask him of more. 

“Sit on the couch for me, baby,” the pet name coming out during tense moments like this.

He walks there as you say, and you watch his half-naked form move away from you, and it’s making you go feral.

“Where do you want my hands?” He asks when you’re finally standing in front of him.

“Just on the side,” you answer, your mind going hazy as you admire him seated on the couch now, his legs spread enough for you to see the stiff member in between. 

His eyes remain on you but you’re staring at his gorgeous lap and those blue boxer briefs he’s wearing, shaping him in all the right ways. You take this time to ready yourself, removing your dress for him to observe. With your lace underwear, you know you’ve got him craving for you. His jaw tightens and you know just how to ruin him.

You kneel down in front of him and he seems to know what you’re up to, as he clenches his fists to control himself. He looks like he really wants to break his own rules now. But you push on, meeting his eyes before licking a strip over his clothed cock. It’s hardened even more now, and you can’t wait for what you’re about to ask him to do. You softly bite the flesh, feeling him strain his thighs as you tease him relentlessly. 

Once you think you’ve teased him enough, you look up at him. “I want to see,” you whisper. “Take it out for me, show me what I do to you.”

He grunts before he follows, taking his cock out of his boxer brief, begging in his mind that you’d let him at least squeeze it because with you in your underwear on, commanding him like this while still maintaining your softness and hints of shyness, he’s losing his mind; he’s in real pain right now. 

“Do you think about me when you’re away?” You ask.

“Yes, baby. I think about you all the time.”

“What do you think about?”

“Kissing you,” he grunts. “Tasting you, sucking every sensitive part of you, making love to you. Fuck, baby, I could go on.”

“Can you show me what you do when you think about those things?” You say, taking deep breaths now as you prepare yourself for what you’re about to see.

Jungkook sighs in relief and gets to it, squeezing his throbbing member and stroking it as you requested. He wouldn’t have known that this is what you wanted him to do. He’s obviously touched himself during the times before sex, and he also really does it when he’s away from you, but doing it this way - on the couch while you now stand before him, your eyes watching his every move - it’s exhilarating. 

He continues his movement, getting into it completely as he takes in the way you look, especially with your parted mouth and heaving chest as you watch him pleasure himself to the sight of you. It seems like you’re in a daze, as your eyes don’t move away from him.

It’s the way his perfect slender fingers wrap around his thick, hard cock. It’s the way they glide, how his thumb occasionally presses the tip, how he starts to heave, feeling the pleasure build up, and how his head leans back and his back arches, revealing the column of his smooth neck, a perfect canvas for you to mark later on. You don’t stop the moan that you release, wanting to get into it, too, as the sight of your husband touching himself to the thought of you is so captivating. Seeing that this is what he does when he’s missing you makes you giddy, and you get to marvel at all of that right now. 

You sit on the coffee table, your eyes still not leaving him. You feel the dampness in your underwear, so you press your fingers onto it for that much-needed friction, and you’re left wanting more. You remove it, feeling the string of essence stick to you and disappear as you throw your lace clothing on his side. 

You touch yourself, too, your fingers drowning in how wet you are. They aid in your own pleasure, as you rub patterns on your clit that has Jungkook’s eyes widening in shock as you get into your own action, quickening by the second. Your eyes drift away briefly from him as your thighs start to shake, only being brought back when you hear him ask you to “open up.”

You spread your legs wider to give him a view, knowing that will help him. You want him to reach that peak, and you want to see him do so, since you miss out most of the time because you’re too caught up in the haze of how he pleasures you. You continue with your movements, speeding up once you feel you’re close to the edge, and Jungkook matches your pace, only for you to crash first. 

“Oh my god,” you heave, feeling the mess you’ve made of yourself, and seeing it, too, as it pools on the coffee table. 

“Fuck, baby,” Jungkook groans, his hand still working on his cock. “That’s so hot, I’m— fuck, I’m close. I want to come, baby. Fuck.”

He looks at you like he’s pleading, but you want to be selfish. You want to hold onto this scene of Jungkook pleasuring himself like this. 

“Just a little bit more,” you end up saying out loud. 

He concedes, knowing he’s given you all control. He slows down a bit, just so he won’t make a mess before you’ve asked him to. 

You see his thighs shaking, his jaw clenching so tightly, and the veins from his hands and arms popping out form how much he’s controlling himself. 

“Fuck, baby. I can’t take it anymore,” he pants. 

You don’t want him to suffer. You’ve ingrained this scene in your mind already, so you tell him he can come, and the grunt that he releases will live in your mind, too. He paints his torso with his slick, but you get to him before it all ends, as you kneel back down and take his dick in your hand to swallow all that’s left. 

“Shit, baby,” he groans again, taking you in with your eyes closed, lapping him up as you lick him off. “You drive me crazy. That was so hot.”

You sweetly smile at him before spotting his cum on his abs, perfectly placed on the dips and ridges, tempting you to clean him up.

And that’s what you do, as you lean forward and lick what’s remaining of his seed, your tongue gliding upwards and to the sides of his stunning plane. You lick and suck each patch of skin in your way, and you feel him still shaking a little bit, perhaps still coming down from his high. You get to his nipples, dark and beautiful as you nibble on them while trailing up to meet him in a searing kiss, letting him taste himself on you.

“I’m sorry for making you hold back,” you whisper against his lips, meaning it because you could tell he’d really wanted to come. 

“No need to, babe,” he responds, heaving. “That was so sexy; I was losing my mind.”

You giddily smile, and Jungkook doesn’t know how you can maintain that sweetness while saying words and doing things that make him breathless.

“Can you go again?” You ask, eyeing his flaccid cock and licking your lips. 

“As much as you want me to,” he replies, his body tensing in anticipation once more when you trace his dick with your fingers, tugging on the hem of his boxer brief until you’re pulling it off him completely. 

You place it on his side and return to kneeling in front of him, capturing his gaze and savoring the look of him naked and willing. “I really like that brand of underwear.”

“I’ve been wearing that since I was a teenager.”

“I know,” you hum, earning him a cocked eyebrow from you. “You used to wear those low rise jeans that showed your brief’s waistband, and then you’d pull up your shirt or do cartwheels or anything to show off. It wasn’t hard to miss.”

You giggle at the memory, recalling how anytime Jungkook revealed slivers of skin when you were both in your teens, you’d get flustered and look away. Your siblings and Junghyun didn’t miss how nervous you’d been then, saying that your little crush grew up with the both of you. 

“Ah, yeah. It made the girls go wild,” he smugly says. 

“That includes me now. It’s probably the tiny waist,” you say, kissing him there, your hair dangling over his skin that causes him to curse. 

“Or the strong thighs.” You spread his legs open so you can kiss him in places, too, finding his sensitive parts and licking him there. He stiffens at your movements, his clenched fists clenching even more, and when you look at his dazed eyes, you know you’ve got him wanting again. 

“Fuck, fuck, baby,” he heaves, losing breath once more. 

“Or, to those lucky enough to see it, your pretty cock,” you smile sweetly again, as if your words aren’t sending him in a spiral.

Perhaps all the times that you’d ogled at him quietly isn’t so bad, Jungkook thinks, knowing that this is how you are once you finally voice them out. You’re so enchanting like this, as the lust in your eyes is tinged with that love and adoration you have for him. It’s such a turn on, but it’s also turning him into mush. 

He watches you as you suck his balls and then lick a strip up his member that’s now stiffened from your words. You take him in - slow and deep - before swirling your tongue around and he seriously could cry. You’re teasing him but giving so much at the same time; his mind and body don’t know what to do. 

“But it’s all yours now, baby,” he drawls, tempted to break his rule and tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. “This body’s all yours and you can do whatever you want with it.”

You pop his cock out of your mouth and smile at him. “I will. That’s why I will admire it all I want.”

You stand up and look down at him, liking the anticipation in his eyes. You remove your bra and proceed to sit on his thigh, your slick sticking to his skin immediately. 

“You can touch me a little with one hand,” you mumble, humming once you let him cup your cheek first. 

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” he moans, tracing your lower lip with his thumb before sliding it inside your mouth. 

You suck on it while meeting his eyes, and he pulls it away before a moan escapes you, his wet finger now tracing circles on your pert nipple. His smooth hand with patches of callouses from his workouts caresses your bare body, fondling your breasts and pulling your face close for a kiss. It’s right after when you take his hand and place it on his side, signaling that his time for exploration is over. 

You’re in control again, as you slowly grind against his taut thigh, perfect for the friction you badly need. 

“You’re so beautiful, Kook,” you smile, combing your fingers through his curly locks. “I like your long hair,” you say. “You kinda look like a rockstar.”

He chuckles at your remark, a little thankful for the change in your tone. “So I’ve been told. That’s why grandfather asked me to cut it. I said I need something to pull when I’m stressed since work is driving me up a wall and they’re all pushing me too hard.”

“Hmm, still talking back to your elders, I see,” you laugh. “Nothing’s changed, Kook.”

“I’m a lot braver now because I’m with you,” he winks. “You’re kind of my shield, you know? You protect me from them so I can be honest. They gave me shit for my tattoos but they stopped once you got yours.”

You hum in satisfaction at the thought, knowing that you could do this for him.

“Guess I’ll have to comment during lunch with them that I love your long hair and your grandfather won’t ask you to get rid of it,” you giggle. “He quite adores me and trusts my taste.”

“Nothing’s changed, indeed,” he laughs, knowing that even from his side, they adore you wholeheartedly. 

“I love hearing you laugh, hun,” you say, causing him to smile at your words. “You look so free and happy and so full of love.”

“And that’s because of you,” he responds, his voice low and serious and it does something to you again. “You’re all I need, baby. You’re all I want in this life.”

You nod to let him know you feel the same, but it gets you going, with you wanting to keep on admiring him. And you do, kissing him tenderly with your arms around his neck as your fingers comb his hair. You continue to slide against him and his moans in between tell you how into it he is. 

Your lips slide down to his jaw and then to his neck, alternating between its smooth expanse to the stunning canvass of his chest. It’s soft kisses turned to playful nibbles turned to desperate sucking, as you take all of him in and express your adoration with marks and bruises that will stay with him. You’re rarely able to do this because he’s always the one on you so you take your time, liking the rise and fall of his chest and the moans and curses he lets out and the way he tries to hold back any other movement from the one you’re directing him to do, which is nothing. 

So you give him something, reaching out for his hand and guiding it to his cock that’s hard right now. “Touch yourself please,” you ask, your hand still on top of his as he strokes his member like you instructed. 

“Keep going, okay? I just want to see you this way,” you whisper in his ear. “You’ll get to touch me soon.”

“Yes, baby,” he moans, cursing as you increase your pace of thrusting against his thigh. 

You suck his neck, feeling his head bopping to his own movements and hearing the vibrations from his throat. You finally sit back up to watch him touch himself, the same movements from earlier driving you just as crazy. His parted mouth makes you want it on you, so you ask him to kiss your body, and he happily complies.

“Fuck, yes,” he grunts once his mouth is on your breast, aggressively licking and sucking just like you did on his neck. “You’re so hot, baby. I could suck your tits forever.”

“Hmm, I’d love that.”

Jungkook gets lost in the softness of your breasts. It’s perfectly shaped and feels so good in his mouth. He knows how to get you going, so he does all the licking and sucking and tricks he knows. It’s hard when he could bust any moment as he pleasures himself; it’s tough not being able to touch you, too, but he’d take this scenario any day. Hearing you instruct him what to do drives him wild, even more with your giddy and soft eyes looking back at him before it turns lustful. 

Your moans are louder now; your thrusts are getting erratic, too. Jungkook wants to savor this but he also wants to reach his high with you. But you take his free hand first and direct it to your cunt, and his curses again at being able to feel exactly how wet you are. 

His fingers find your throbbing clit right away. Bent a little back, you give him space to play with you, getting lost in it once again because even with limited movement, he knows just what to do.

Jungkook works his way on your cunt while he continues to stroke himself. It’s insanely pleasurable. It’s also getting hard and painful, and so it’s music to his ears when you say that you want him inside you. 

He lets go of his cock for you to slide down on, and the relief of your velvet walls makes him shiver. It’s like being out in the cold and then being wrapped up in something warm; your pussy is all the comfort he needs. 

But you’re still in control, he reminds himself, as you thrust on your own pace before you’re bouncing on top of him. Seeing your breasts bounce with you is disarming; you’re so sexy like this and he has to remind himself that you’re his wife and he’s truly able to be blessed by this sight everyday. 

You collapse on his chest, flushed against him as you catch your breath. But you keep going, grinding against him slowly. He takes the opportunity to nibble your ear and you don’t complain, so he keeps going, sucking your neck until you’re moaning and bouncing on him again. You sit back up and turn to him, and he captures your breast in his mouth. That’s when you lose it, feeling an out-of-body experience where all your nerves are heightened and stimulated so you give in. 

“Take control, baby,” you moan. “I want to come all over your cock and I want you to come inside me.”

You say it to challenge him, to get him going, and that’s what happens, as he growls and immediately lays you on the couch because even as he loves this view of you, there’s still nothing like seeing the pleasure on your face when he’s on top of you, pushing to the depths of your hole and hitting you where you want it.

Your hair creates a halo and you look absolutely stunning, ready and desperate for him, as you whisper that you love him, that you want to feel him inside of you. 

Jungkook thrusts hard. He’s got your legs spread so he can hold your thighs up and you can touch yourself while he’s reaching that spot that only he can. You both watch as he slides in and out, and it’s messy and obscene and erratic and every bit as good as it can get. You’re screaming by this time, and when he feels your legs shake, he goes even harder. 

He kisses you, wanting to swallow in your moans when you finally let go, and you do, after a deep thrust that sends you over the edge. But he continues, chasing his high as well. He gets there when you whisper in his ear, feeling as if his body’s on fire with your words.

“Come for me, baby. You’re so good to me,” you moan. “No one can make me feel good like this. You’re all I need, baby. You’re all I want.”

He loses it every time you praise him like that and you know this, and that’s why you always say it at the end, when you want to bask in his essence just as he basks in yours. 

You feel his warmth coating your walls, and just as you’re about to shiver from the sound of his end-of-sex moans in your ear, he turns to face you - damp hair and heaving chest - and his look softens, his small smile appearing before kissing you tenderly. 

“I love you, so so much, baby,” he mumbles against your lips. “Every version, every day.”

You giddily smile at him again and wrap your arms around his neck to pepper his face with kisses. You pull him on top of you until he shifts to lay on your side, afraid to suffocate you after what was an intense period of lovemaking, which really started from when you’d asked him to take his clothes off.

“How was that?” You ask, turning to face him. 

“Baby, did you see me?” He chuckles. “I was a mess.”

“Yeah, me too,” you laugh, nodding towards the droplets of cum you left on the coffee table. “I… I kinda let myself go earlier.”

“And it was so fucking sexy,” he praises. “But did you like it? Did you like being in control and teasing me like that?”

“I did,” you giggle. “You were pretty pliant, too. Not gonna lie, I was surprised. I thought you were gonna be whiny about it.”

“I was losing my shit,” he admits. “But I kinda made the rules and it was so hot hearing you tell me what to do. Or, well, ask. You’re still pretty polite about it.”

You laugh along with him but he assures you that he doesn’t mind it, and that he’s glad you don’t try to change just because you’re with him. The last thing he wants is for you to feel like you have to be adventurous or daring just to make him happy.

“I know I talk about my reckless and thrill-seeking past like it’s a badge of honor but it doesn’t mean that I’m not satisfied with our safer, more comfortable way of living,” he tells you. “I don’t yearn for anything more than what we do, okay? You literally turn me on with whatever you’re doing or wearing so don’t think I’d want you to be or do anything else, babe. I get to kiss you and make love to you all I want and that’s it… I’m a happy man.”

You scrunch your nose and giddily smile at his words, hiding your flushed face on his chest. 

“And when you lose your shit like that because of me… it’s pretty special, too,” he adds, hugging you now. 

You turn to face him and soften at how he fondly looks at you. 

“You… ignite something in me, Kook,” you say. “Coming here after so long reminded me a bit of how it was back when I left. I was emotional because it hurt, and it was because I cared about you; I always did. Junghyun told me how distraught you were and I let myself believe that you cared about me, too. That’s what made me go back to you and try to make it work. And being back here… I just can’t believe how far we’ve come.”

You caress his face and he kisses your hand, the sparkles in his eyes making your heart race once more. 

“You make me love so certainly and so passionately,” you add. “It’s thrilling, loving you like this. And we can argue or have issues or feel off with each other sometimes but if at the end of it, we can forgive ourselves and each other then it’s okay. We love hard and I know that’s how I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

It’s his turn to scrunch his nose now and smile, choosing to kiss you deeply as he pulls you in a hug instead of saying anything more. You’ve said it all, he thinks; he knows you know he feels the same.

But still, you ask. “Have I left you speechless now, Mr. Jeon?”

He laughs at your teasing. “I don’t know why you say you’re not good with words. I… I needed to hear them, babe. Being here and knowing where you spent your days while I was wallowing in guilt and misery at home hits me but doing all this now with you reminds me that we got through that. And we got through the past weeks, too.”

“Thank you for taking a short break to be with me here,” you say, kissing him. 

“Baby, I wouldn’t pass up on any break from work,” he laughs. “But hyung assured me that I could. He knows I need to be with you after all that.”

You sigh in relief as you hug him, feeling the knots and bolts of his body melt away like yours are. Being together is like that for both of you, you think. Your love - in whatever form it’s expressed - is healing; it’s rejuvenating. It’s the kind you give so much of yourself to but feel like you’re becoming whole, complete, yet there’s still space for more. 

You’re glad your parents made that deal with the universe to save you all those years ago. It made you live long enough to experience this. 

A small smile forms on Jungkook’s face as he watches your soft, steady breathing. You seem to be in a deep sleep - a good one - he thinks, as the light from the sun coming from the glass doors doesn’t seem to be bothering you the way it usually does. He can’t blame you though. Last night was incredible. And pretty tiring, too, especially at the end when you let him take control, and he’d made love to you hard on the couch and then during your shower right after. 

You were breathless by the time you were in bed, and you had to constantly assure him that he didn’t go too hard for the sex to be considered a ‘strenuous activity.’ You’re still required to take things easy, as your cardiologist had told you, and the last thing Jungkook wants is for you to overwork your heart just because he’d been too keen to fuck you. But seeing you enjoy yourself did things to him. So did seeing you be giddy, and then hearing you express your feelings. 

It’s been a tough few weeks. He knew that during the times he was cold and distant towards you that he still felt so much love; it was just hard to express it because he was upset. He just had to process his negative emotions properly and ride them out. Once he’d cleared his head, there you were again, the only clarity he needed, and he was back to being the lovestruck man who’s head over heels in love with his wife. The best part was that you were the same, and being back in Busan and in this specific house is making him a little sentimental. And pretty horny, too. 

Jungkook moves away from the bed and removes his shirt that’s absorbed all his sweat. He woke up early and went for a run down a nearby trail, savoring the cool morning breeze by the water and the natural sounds of the forest. It was gorgeous, and he thinks of going on a picnic with you tomorrow to see the sights.

He just got back to the house, expecting you to be awake, but the sight of you sleeping peacefully is still something nice to return to. Wanting to take advantage of the tranquility of this place, he decides to do some painting. 

You showed him your corner yesterday. It’s complete with an easel and a stool that faces the view. There’s a bench with paint and brushes that you’ve left and you brought. You told him he could use them if he wanted. 

The lake sparks creativity, you said, and he feels that now. The sun casts a glow over it that he wants to capture in brush strokes, and he wants to create something to remind him of this particular day and this specific moment, where he stands by the kitchen counter in a space you’ve both come to claim as your slice of heaven. Moans were bouncing off the walls last night but right now, it’s quiet. And whether you’re naked and bouncing on top of him, or naked under the covers as you take your needed rest, he knows you’re all he needs and wants, and he’ll never get tired of telling or showing you all that.

Choosing the colors he’ll be using, Jungkook starts to work. He stays true to the view before him, blending the blues and yellows and greens that he sees and laying them all out on the canvas. He wants to surprise you, show you he’s learned some tricks that he’s seen you do; he can already imagine your proud face and that gets him excited. 

It’s almost an hour later when he hears shuffling inside the house followed by your call of his name.

“I’m outside, babe,” he yells. “I prepared the coffee in the pot, just press the button.”

You shout out your thanks and he gets back to work, immersed in the almost-finished product when your voice takes him out of his zone.

“That’s gorgeous, Kook,” you hum. “Way better than the one you did the last time.”

“Hey,” he laughs, tickling you. 

He turns to you and his face softens. You’re standing next to him with mussed hair dressed in his white button-up polo from last night. He’d left it on the stool by your bed and you probably decided to wear it when you got up because you know he loves seeing you wear his clothes. 

“Am I making your heart flutter, Mr. Jeon?” You tease, seeing his soft, dimpled smile. 

He hasn’t said anything for the past 10 seconds and you think maybe it’s your chosen morning outfit. 

“You know the answer to that,” he replies, pulling you by the waist and directing you to sit on his lap. “It was supposed to be a surprise,” he says of the painting. “But since you’ve seen it, what do you think?”

“It’s very Bob Ross-esque,” you compliment him. “And it’s really good, hun. The day’s pretty nice, huh? I’d paint this scenery, too, if I wasn’t so tired.”

“You’re welcome,” he smirks. “But I went for a run and everything was just so pretty. You were still sleeping when I got back so I thought to try painting while waiting for you to wake up.”

“Well, it’s good I was still asleep then,” you smile. “The piece is great. You’ve got a good teacher, I’d say.”

“She is. She’s pretty hot, too, so it’s hard to focus sometimes.”

“You’re so cheeky,” you playfully roll your eyes before kissing cheek and standing up to get your coffee.

You choose to lean on the railing when you return, soaking up the midday sun and relishing the calmness of the lake. It’s so peaceful out here, making you appreciate your house’s soundproof walls because you definitely were not quiet last night. Other than the loud thrumming of your heart at how much you were lusting over your husband touching himself and coming undone in front of you, you also know that your joint moans were pretty obscene. 

You didn’t shy away from letting him know how you were affecting him, especially when he’d pounded into you so purposefully that you felt him so deep within you. Even the bathroom sex was mind-blowing. So was the loving way he’d kissed you until you both fell asleep, and the thought of all the ways that Jungkook makes love to you sends a shiver down your spine. 

You shake a little bit and turn around, surprise laced on your face as you see your husband looking at you from his stool, legs spread with a smirk on his face in all his shirtless glory. 

“How long have you been ogling me?” You arch an eyebrow.

“As soon as you came out,” he smiles. “You look stunning, babe. The lake’s pretty lucky it gets to be your background.”

You chuckle at his cheesiness and sip your coffee. “Finish your work now and then we can get ready to head out. We can have early lunch at the seafood place our families used to go to.”

With you by the railings looking breathtaking against the view, it’s a nice scene that Jungkook wants to capture. “I wanna try to draw you,” he states, taking one of your sketch pads and placing it on the easel now. 

“Oh yeah?” you ask. “I should pose then.”

He turns to you just as you start unbuttoning your top, leaving your tattoo and black satin underwear exposed. You see him visibly swallow and you push it, adjusting his polo to reveal more of your skin. 

“This okay, hun?”

“I–, uh… hmm,” he furrows his brows, his eyes flitting from you to the pad. 

Jungkook decides he’s not good enough to capture you in drawing, and he’s definitely not patient enough to wait to finish it before he can kiss you because the way you’re teasing him is a little too much. He has to have you right now.

Retrieving the polaroid camera from inside the house, he walks back out and snaps a shot. “I won’t do you justice, babe,” he explains. “And you look too fucking sexy to pass up on.”

He takes another one and then places them on the coffee table next to him. He walks to you and immediately captures you in a deep kiss, his hand gripping your waist the same way yours grips his chest.

“So that worked, huh?” You giggle. “I was wondering when you were gonna just walk over here and claim me.”

“You could’ve just said you wanted me, too,” he laughs. “You know I like hearing that.”

“You also like it when I tease you,” you counter. “And, well… here I am.”

You bite your lip and pull the polo just enough to expose your shoulder, and Jungkook basically growls at the act, putting away your coffee then kissing you once again. 

You moan against his mouth once his hand slides inside to fondle your breast, and the sensation from his touch sends you in a daze. You let him suck your neck only for a while, nudging him to turn to you so you could get a look at him.

“Baby,” he whines, wanting to have continued to map out your body in this open space. 

“I just…” you trail, your eyes scanning his half-naked form, his cream-colored joggers low enough again to show the band of his boxers. 

You trace your fingers down his torso, following the lines and ridges that you know he works hard on. His breathing quickens, even more so when you slowly slide your hand in, immediately stroking his semi-hard cock. 

“Fuck,” he groans, his head leaning back at the pleasure he feels, your soft skin soothing yet electrifying him at the same time. 

But you shouldn’t be the only one, he thinks, as his hand sneaks inside your underwear now, his fingers finding your throbbing clit amidst all the wetness. 

“Mhmm,” you hum, your mouth parting as you suck in a breath. 

Jungkook wants to bask in your look as you pleasure each other, but he also really wants to kiss you, so he pulls you close, angling your head with his other hand and takes you in. It’s all tongue and teeth, as you both seem desperate for the other, and that’s what prompts him to start walking back and taking you with him, needing to taste you this second because he can feel just how wet you are for him. 

He guides you towards the desk near your bed, lifting you a little so you could sit on it, causing you to let go of his dick and you whine in response. You’re not able to say anything more, as he slides two fingers inside your hole at the same time that he sucks your nipple.

“Kook, oh my good,” you keen, feeling your slick spread as he pumps into you. 

He doesn’t say anything. He just continues with his movements as you heave in pleasure, grinding reflexively as you seek more friction than just his fingers. 

“Do you want more, baby?” He asks, looking at you now.

“Yes,” you whisper, your mouth parting once he presses your clit. “Want your mouth. Oh god, baby,  I want your mouth.”

He slows down his movements before retrieving his hand from your damp underwear, showing you his fingers drenched in your slick. He licks them off you as he holds your gaze, and you take his hand off his mouth so you could suck them, too. 

You moan as you do, suddenly wanting his dick as well. He crouches down before you get to say anything, pulling off your underwear to see you dripping wet, your essence forming a dot on the desk this time. You’d be embarrassed if he didn’t look so turned on by it, and you completely lose it once he licks a strip up your pussy and swirls his tongue around it. 

You lose all sense by then, allowing yourself to just let go because with how he’s gripping you and sucking you dry, you know you won’t be able to control how your body will react anyway. 

He sets a rhythm, pulling your hips to meet his mouth and you follow the pace, grinding against him as your body burns with so much pleasure. Your ass sits by the edge and your legs are hanging on air, but you know he’s got you. It isn’t like this is the first time, yet every time feels like it is. Jungkook does you so well, you’ve stopped questioning his ability at this point. 

Your legs start to shake and his hands glide to hold up your thighs while your arms support you. It’s uncontrollable by now and you don’t mind the moans that escape you. He’d just fucked you senseless last night but that already feels too far away. You know it's still gonna be another good one this time. 

“I’m coming, Kook. Agh–” you shriek, feeling it so suddenly, until you’ve reached the edge and feel even wetter, as your orgasm hits and it feels like a waterfall.

Your husband hums from in between your legs, taking all that he can, even as your legs continue to shake. He kisses your inner thigh before kissing up your torso, meeting your dazed look with his satisfied smile. 

“Can you go again, baby?” He smirks, taking off his joggers and boxer briefs in one movement to reveal his cock that’s definitely ready for you.

You want to trace the veins with your tongue, lick the pre-cum off it, and swallow it until you can’t breathe, but his hand gets to it first, with him knowing now how touching himself turns you on. He strokes himself a little, and the version of you that touches herself when he does is back, as you instantly fiddle with your clit to address the aching need at the sight of him like this. 

Holding the base of his member, he pushes slowly into you, joining your moan at the feel of him within your velvet walls. 

“Baby, you feel so good,” he grunts, as he meets your thrusts. “So, so fucking good, my dick could live here.”

“I want it to,” you manage a response. “Kook, baby, you’re so big. Go deeper, please. I can take it.” 

Jungkook follows, moving closer and pushing harder as you ask, feeling your edge as he drags his cock against your walls. You’re moaning in his mouth, lips no longer moving as you feel lost in all that he’s doing to you. 

“You like that so much, don’t you?” He moans. “Like how deep I go? How much I stretch you out?”

“Yes, baby,” you huff, unable to form words now. But you try, knowing he likes hearing you like this. 

You’re flicking your nipple while he’s massaging your clit, and with all the movements, you feel it again. You try to hold out, wanting to savor this feeling a little longer, but Jungkook’s erratic movements tell you that he’s just about to reach his peak, too, so you let yourself go again, waiting for the crash and hoping he’d get to do it with you.

His body shakes now, you feel it, as yours does the same. And it’s not long after when you feel the shiver all over you, and then he comes, too with a release of a deep breath that gives you goosebumps. 

He pulls out, and seeing his cum slide out of you, he pushes back in, making you yelp in surprise.

“We made a mess,” he chuckles, his voice low and hoarse from all the moaning he’s done. 

“Hmm, we did,” you huff, seeing him swirl his dick with your joint essence on your pussy. 

He’s done this before. But seeing it from this angle, with the sun shining from your glass wall - it’s incredibly sexy. You laugh to yourself. It’s not even lunchtime. 

“Honey, I’m tired,” you laugh now.

Jungkook kisses you tenderly and you smile against his lips. “Okay then. We shower and then we take a nap. Food can wait.” 

You stare at the plates of food that you and Jungkook had devoured. A lunch for 4, you think, and you blame the late morning nap you took that’s caused you to have your first meal at 1PM. You don’t mind though, as the dishes were much more delicious with how hungry you were, and Jungkook seems the same, as he satisfyingly smiles at you. 

“Ah, that was good,” he hums. “Nothing like our favorite seafood restaurant.”

“I know, right? I remember how our grandparents would always reserve the function room for our families,” you say. “You boys were always so rowdy, running around the place.”

“Food energizes us,” Jungkook shrugs. “And yeah, I remember. Seoyeon would scold us for being noisy.”

“And I was always just there, sitting and laughing at the silly faces you were making when the adults finally told you off.”

“You really had a crush on me, huh?” He smirks, pulling you closer to his side so he could have a better look at you. 

“Yes, and you really never noticed,” you counter, laughing at his pout. “Would it have made any difference if you knew that weak little me adored you and your bowl-cut?”

“I really don’t understand how you found that cute,” he laughs. “That’s my most embarrassing look ever.”

“What? It was adorable!” You giggle, pinching his chin. “You were always so mischievous but the haircut made you look tiny and pure for some reason. Plus, you had this smile. It was always very sweet.”

He sighs at the thought, imagining a prepubescent Jungkook causing trouble with you still thinking he was pretty special. “I don’t remember as much about you. I hate it.”

“Kook, we have so many photos and home videos,” you comfort him. “We can always go through them and try to remember. I think that’ll be fun, don’t you think?”

It would, he smiles to himself. Days and nights of being curled up on the couch, watching your younger selves and thinking of how neither of you would’ve imagined getting married and being this in love. Your future kids would ask how you two met and you could both show them those videos. He’d proudly say how you were crushing on him early on and you’d tease that he never really minded you. It’s all fun, though, and he can picture your future kids enjoying it, too, perhaps thinking it could be them on screen. He’s suddenly excited to find out who they’d take after. 

“Honey? You okay?”

“Yeah, I just zoned out a bit but of course, that would be fun. We can make fun of each other while watching.”

You smile at the thought, knowing that reminiscing those days would be a shock to him. You wonder how much of your adoration for him was caught on camera, but even you are curious. Your siblings and Junghyun would tell you stories as you got older, and there were things that you’d either forgotten or didn’t know. 

Sometimes you think you downplayed just how big of a crush you had on Jungkook when you were younger because it was unrequited - a silly thought now, given how he is with you. He used to not look your way but now, it seems as if he can’t take his eyes off you the way you can’t take your eyes off of him.

You both exit the restaurant and drive to your middle school. You introduce yourselves and are immediately allowed in. Classes have just ended so it’s a little busy with the students leaving, but the shrieks remind you of how things were during your time, and how different you and Jungkook remember your pre-teen days to be.

The difference is much more glaring once you’re in your high school not far away, especially as you look around the library that’s changed a lot over the years. But you remember your spot at the corner, where you and Yeri would study while Nari drew dresses and Minhyuk read comics. 

“You know, I’ve probably only ever been here thrice,” Jungkook laughs, the place an unfamiliar spot for him. It’s also so quiet; it’s unnerving and probably why he never really came here.

“I’m not surprised,” you laugh. “But then again, I’ve only ever stepped foot on the field twice.”

“What? Did you not have PE class?” 

“I did,” you say. “My parents had me spared from the physical stuff, so I just read up on sports and other things for my grade.”

“That’s so sad, babe,” he laments. “PE was like, the best. It was the only subject I liked.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” you exclaim. “But yeah, I got used to it. It’s different learning a sport by reading it but it was okay, I guess. My teacher would let me watch classes and varsity games sometimes.”

“Let me guess, you were watching me?” He smirks.

“Not always,” you playfully roll your eyes. “You weren’t the only good-looking guy in school, you know?”

“What! Who else was?”

“Secret,” you tease, sticking your tongue out and walking down the hallway. 

You pass by the auditorium, another place you spent a lot of time in. Minhyuk used to play the violin and you’d watch his rehearsals with their music group here.

“Okay, tell me you’ve been here at least once to watch a club performance or something,” you say, turning to him. 

“Uh, no?” He laughs. “All I remember from this is that we had an important game against a rival school on the field and all your friends were there except for you. Hyung watched it and I overheard him ask them where you were and Yeri said you were at the auditorium because there was some flute recital or something.” He rolls his eyes. “Why would that be more interesting than my soccer game?”

You laugh at his bitter expression. “You wouldn’t have cared, hun. And I’m pretty sure she said saxophone. That was Jaehyun’s instrument.”

“Who’s that? Why doesn’t he sound familiar?”

“Because he was a year older,” you respond as you walk past the seats. “He, uh, he invited me, said I was probably gonna watch the game but it didn’t hurt to try, and he was surprised that I said I’d watch him.”

“Were you… a thing?” He furrows his brows.

“Why would that matter,” you ask. “You were the one dating the class President and the gymnast and a lot of other girls.”

“Yeah but I never took them seriously,” he defends. “We just… you know.”

“Oh, I know,” you chuckle. “Talks of how good of a kisser you were and uh, other stuff spread like wildfire, Kook. It wasn’t exactly a secret.”

You're right, it really wasn’t. He was the rich popular jock that girls flocked to and he loved the attention, and that continued until university. But like he always said, it was all fun for him. 

You… you were never the type to date for fun, so he knows that any guy you were with could’ve been the one, and yes, even Won-shik. Or Jongin. Maybe this Jaehyun dude. 

It could’ve been Mingyu.

“So you and the guy, were you…?” He asks again. 

“He courted me,” you say. “But I wasn’t sure about having a boyfriend at that time and he said he’d wait but I told him not to. We drifted once he graduated and that was it.” 

“Okay.”

“Does that matter?” You wonder.

“Sometimes I think there could’ve been a version of this life where we weren’t married,” he starts. “Like, you could’ve been with someone else you loved and I probably would’ve been arranged with some other person but you and I would still see each other regularly because of our families and like… that’s just… a hard thought to have. If it wasn’t me with you right now.”

“Yes, Kook, it’s a hard thought but also impossible because I’m with someone I love and you’re with me right now,” you tell him. “And this is the only version of life I’ll have. Also, I think I have a pretty special connection with the universe so sometimes I think they were truly on my side. They kept me alive and well, they made me marry you, the man who never really took anyone seriously and now look at you!”

“Yeah, look at me, head over heels in love with the woman he was bitter about and barely minded,” he laughs dryly. “But I think they were on my side, too.”

You smile at the thought, knowing that Jungkook may not really be able to let go of the guilt from years ago but he could at least look at things this way - at the end of it, you get to be together happily, making new memories in the places you’ve known all your lives, and out to make even more.

You continue your walk around the school. You pass by the faculty to greet your teachers from over 10 years ago, who fawn over both of you. They say how surprised they were that you’d ended up together, but don’t doubt that now seeing how happy you both look. 

Walking down the hallway, you gush over the shelf with championship trophies that Jungkoook had won with the soccer team. And then finally, you sit on the bleachers that overlook the soccer field, Jungkook’s stage during your years in school. 

“It does look pretty with the sun casting a shadow over it,” you hum, seeing that it’s late in the afternoon. “I can see why you loved being here, Kook. And seeing you play now, you truly belong on the field.”

“Those years were fun,” he reminisces. “I loved the adrenaline rush, the thrill, the cheers… I loved the attention, really. It made me feel free. I think I kept chasing that high outside of it. And it got me into a lot of trouble.”

“Well, all that trouble landed you right here with me,” you comfort him. “I think it’s not all that bad.”

“Not at all,” he agrees. “But I still experience all that, you know? The thrill, the cheers, the attention… I married someone who gives all those to me. My younger years can’t really compare.”

Your cheeks reach your eyes as you giddily smile. “My heart is fluttering, Mr. Jeon,” you giggle. “Too bad we’re in school so I can’t kiss you right now.”

“Actually, I know a spot…”

“Kook!” You squeal, not wanting to know where he’d made out with the girls back then, but he laughs along to tease and says that you both could always drive back home and do all the kissing you want. 

Tempting, you think, but all the walking has made you hungry and he promised you’d have milmyeon for dinner and then pass by the kiosk where Mrs. Na always bought you your favorite hotteok. 

You do all that, and just like what Jungkook said, you go back home and do all the kissing you want. 

The kissing obviously escalated to so much more. Jungkook let you ride his face and you let him fuck your mouth. The lake house is so conducive to lovemaking, you told him as you started to doze off, and he assured you that all this wouldn’t end here. There’s lots to make up for, but also, making up with you makes him feel like a new man and a better lover, and he wants to be able to show you all that. 

He doesn’t mess around though, as you wake up the next morning flushed against his firm chest that you can’t help but kiss all over, and to get you going for morning sex by the lake, he wildly eats you out then takes you from behind while you look at the view outside. 

You at least eat your breakfast that you had made on the veranda and then have enough energy to walk down the trail by the lake to see the forest and the birds. Jungkook lays down a mat and you both enjoy fruits and desserts before heading out for a late lunch of pork rice soup that you’ve dearly missed. 

You drive around your part of the city, passing by spots and beaches you used to frequent, and it’s as if you could hear the shrieks and laughter from your younger days, sounds you joined in on every once in a while. But much of it was Jungkook’s, and you smile at the thought; he was already making your heart flutter then, and you don’t think that’s ever gonna stop.

He stops by a familiar park, and it takes a while before it registers that this is the playground that both of you used to go to a lot. It’s the midway point of your grandparents’ estates so all you Jeon and Kim kids would play here before heading to either of those places. 

It’s also where he asked you to play when you were 4 years old. And where you told him no.

“Are we here to reenact that moment I broke your heart?” You tease, walking next to him as you bask in the sight of your childhood. You may not have played in the playground but you did have your dolls with you. 

“Sort of,” he chuckles. “With a good ending this time though. I kind of wanna have both memories ingrained in my mind so they could remind me of how far we’ve come.”

“Sounds good,” you smile, sitting on the bench that you think is the one you would always sit on. 

It’s been over 20 years and a lot about it has changed, but you suppose it’s a good guess.

“It’s amazing the memories that we retain, isn’t it?” You wonder out loud. “I remember that day, too. We were just 4 years old, and, well, it’s one of the few that I remember.”

“I know, right? I don’t remember much from that age apart from that moment, actually,” he says. “It stuck with me, maybe because it really affected me. Who knows? Maybe I was crushing on you before that so I chose to forget everything else after you rejected me,” he laughs. “Selective memory and shit.”

“Could be,” you laugh along. “But can you imagine how it must’ve been like for our families seeing us grow up and grow apart? It must’ve sucked.”

“I’m sure it did,” he hums, knowing how much your families wanted this union. “Perhaps the universe was on their side, too.”

You smile at the thought. Coming back to the places with traces of Jungkook as the kid you admired from a short distance makes you sentimental because he’s right, there could’ve been another version of life where you didn’t end up together. Who knows if your fondness for him would’ve faded if you’d married someone else? But you’d still see each other regardless, and the feeling could be haunting you. 

You wonder if you weren’t sick, or was just careless enough to have played with him even if you weren’t allowed to - how different would your friendship have been like growing up? Would you be closer? Would he have been as reckless or less of the playboy he was? Would you have been more daring just to keep up with him? Would you have both tried to date? What if it didn’t work out, being as you were both still young then?

But as you look up at Jungkook who’s now standing before you, his hand in his pocket before he reaches it out the way he did over 20 years ago, you think that maybe all those had to happen so you could have this. 

Maybe the distance meant that you’d both grow and make mistakes individually. Maybe having different sets of friends and hobbies meant you’d both appreciate yourselves for who you are so you could appreciate the other just as much. Maybe his colorful relationship record and your neutral one meant being able to balance excitement and security. Maybe all the heartbreaks along the way meant you’d learn how to ride through them so you could love each other even more. 

Because as you take his hand and stand up to meet him for a kiss, you don’t think you could ever love him more than you do right now. You feel it all over your body that you think it’s all it knows to do at this point. 

“Four-year old Jungkook is probably bursting at the seams right now,” he hums as he kisses you again, his arms around your waist and his forehead against yours. 

“And four-year old me is probably doing the same,” you smile. “But this 29-year old version of me is so content right now, Kook. She can’t get any happier.”

She can, are the words that echo in Jungkook’s mind. Being here makes him realize how else you - both of you - can be happier. But he keeps the thought to himself and chooses to agree with you for now. 

“That’s great, babe. This version of me feels the same.”

The stack of Polaroid photos from the past 3 days has gotten taller. There’s so much from the beach, your grandparents’ house, your schools, the trail, and of course, the playground. Jungkook holds up the ones from earlier where you’re sitting on the swing and the one where you both attempted to slide together but got stuck. 

Your smiles are as wide as they could get, and seeing them now tugs at his heart. You seem like you can’t get any happier, but he also knows there’s something more that you wish for. 

And it isn’t just about giving it to you; he wants to make it with you, because seeing you skip around earlier and play in the seesaw with him and laugh your sweet, tender laugh - he knows that there are so many more ways he can show you he loves you, and the sight of you happy and free and content is something he wants to see everyday of his life.

“What you looking at, hun?” You ask, as you wrap your arms around his crouched form on the edge of the bed, your chin sliding in the crook of his neck and peeking at what he’s holding. 

“All our photos,” he says. “We ended up taking so many.”

“Hmm, more to put in our photo album then,” you hum, kissing his cheek before kissing his shoulder, and then his back, given that he’s too sexy not to have your lips mapping them out. 

You make it to the line down his back, kissing his tailbone before lying in bed. “I’m tired,” you yawn. “Let’s sleep, hun. We have a day of travel tomorrow.”

Jungkook keeps the photos in a pouch and turns off the light before he lays next to you, his arm stretching out so you have space to rest your head on his chest. 

You make yourself comfortable right away, close to drifting to sleep with his post-shower natural scent and his smooth skin. 

“Baby?”

“Hmm?”

“I was just thinking…” he starts. “We kinda went down memory lane, you know? And sorted things out like we said we would. We got through a fight that had us loving each other even more and I feel like I’ve learned and matured after all that and I… I think I’m ready.”

He turns to you, wanting to see your face, and your curious eyes meet his certain ones. 

“I want to have a family with you,” he says. “And I mean, really want it, like, I want us to seriously try now.”

“Kook…” you mumble, a little surprised but beaming with joy just the same. 

“I’ll admit at the start, a part of me just wanted to get ahead with it because I knew it would make you happy and that would make me happy,” he admits. “But now, I just… I want that for us because we love each other so fucking much and I don’t know how else we could show or express it. And that’s nice, isn’t it? It’s overflowing and the only other person who should receive that love other than you or me is someone we both created.”

You’re frozen, constantly blinking at him in disbelief until he nudges your nose with his. 

“Hey, say something,” he whispers. 

“I… ” you quiver. “I’m… Kook, that’s amazing. You… We… we’re ready. We have so much to give and we, I…”

A tear falls down your cheek. 

You and Jungkook had agreed to let life just happen. You make love all the time anyway and it used to comfort you that there could at least be a chance you’d get pregnant with the frequency you do it. But conceiving a baby isn’t that easy. You may have sex a lot but it doesn’t mean you always do it at the right time. Both your stress levels have been quite high, too, and that’s been a factor on why it hasn’t happened yet. 

There were a few times when you thought your period being late meant you could be pregnant, only to have it happen right before you told Jungkook. You won’t deny it disappointed you a little. 

But now, with him saying he wants to actively try, it’s making you excited and nervous but incredibly happy. You’ve wanted this for a while, and you realize now with what you and Jungkook could handle and take on together, you want it even more. And he’s right there with you. 

“Oh, baby,” he says, caressing your cheek. “I’m… I’m sorry it took a while for me. Wanting to let life surprise us feels like a cop out now.”

“Don’t be sorry, hun,” you sniff, sighing into his touch. “What matters now is that we both want this. And we’re… we’re really gonna try.”

“Yeah,” he smiles. “We can go see your doctors tomorrow or the day after to consult. Whatever they say, we’ll follow. If we have to have even more sex, then that’s great.”

You laugh at his words. “I think we have enough of it.”

“We never know.”

You kiss him. Deeply. You kiss him so hard, it’s the only way to express how happy you are because words fail you. You kiss him so long that you climb on top of him, wanting to feel him wrap himself around you, touch you, cradle you, show you how much he loves you.

“Oh, so we’re starting now?” He teases once you pull away. 

You just hover over him, your eyes boring into his sparkling ones, and you giggle as you boop his nose. 

“I’m actually not ovulating but it doesn’t matter,” you say, pressing your clothed pussy against his cock. “I just… I just want to feel you right now. Your wanting to have a family is such a turn on, I’m scaring myself.”

He smirks at your honesty but he loves it. Your being turned on by it is also turning him on. 

But he lets you do what you want first, as you kiss down his torso then pull down his boxer briefs to lick his hardening cock before you take him all in.

“I thought you were tired, babe,” he huffs, feeling the tension build as you take him so desperately, his thighs straining from the pleasure. 

“Not anymore,” you say, gagging with how big he is. You turn to look at him with his cock in your hand now, meeting the smirk he has on his face. “I think I can do this all night.”

“Fuck, baby,” he grunts. “You gotta play fair. I need my time to do you, too.”

Waking up the next morning feels different. With Jungkook flushed against your back and his arm around your middle, you think that hopefully in a few months, he’d be lovingly caressing you there when there’s a tiny human growing inside you. 

It’s a nice thought, but one you can wait for a while to happen. Although last night’s sex was pretty intense, you’re not fertile and there wouldn’t be any surprises soon, but it was still really good. Your emotions had overtaken you and you went with what your heart and body were saying, and you’re now left with sore limbs. But you don’t mind. You’re satisfied beyond belief. And while this may be your last day of your time here, you’ll be going back to your normal life with much more excitement this time. And you know your husband feels the same. 

He wakes up shortly after, and you both pass up on breakfast to just sleep in and cuddle, knowing there’ll be less of this again, so you savor being naked in each other's arms, giggling and kissing.

You finally make it out of bed and pack up, ready to head to his grandparents’ as you both promised. It goes by smoothly, with them fawning over you as always, and you and Jungkook spend some time right after going around the estate and recalling memories again. 

He takes you to his room, which is where he stayed when he was much younger. It’s still a little boy’s bedroom with all the toys organized and the clothes stored neatly. He opens his closet and takes a chest from the floor, unlocking it to reveal sets of baby clothes in mint condition. 

There’s a swaddling cloth and a blanket, a crocheted bunny and a baby giraffe. There are onesies and beanies and tiny shoes and mittens. 

Jungkook touches them lightly, excitedly thinking about your future baby wearing them. 

“I have a chest like this, too,” you say, smiling up at him. “It’s at my grandparents’. Do you think we could pass by for it? I think it would be nice to have our tiny one wear our clothes, don’t you think?”

“It would be,” he smiles. 

You both casually tell your grandparents that you wanted to bring the chests back with you to Seoul “just in case” because you’re sentimental, not wanting to make too big of a deal out of deciding to finally and seriously try getting pregnant this time. You don’t miss their glassy eyes and proud faces, though, and you think of the joy they must be feeling. You hope all goes well and that they’d get to spend as much time with their future grandchildren as possible. It was their dream, after all, and you know it means just as much to them.

With your treasure troves in the trunk and your hand in Jungkook’s, you both drive away, hoping that not too long from now, a little one will be joining you in your weekend getaways and short breaks and vacations. You could only hope they’ll love you with all their heart as much as you know you’ll love them with all of yours.

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[superprincesspea]

Courted by the Dragon

Chapter 2 - A Court of Sharks and Dances

Aemond Targaryen is both the cause and witness to the greatest humiliation of your life. You would rather die than see him again. Yet summer at court and the precipice of civil war have other ideas.

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~~~

Several weeks after your meeting with Aemond, a raven arrived at Storm's End, inviting your family to spend the summer in Kings Landing at the bequest of Queen Alicent.   

The letter marked an unexpected turn of events for the Baratheon family who had never been favoured by the Queen and, though you were quietly suspicious of Aemond’s involvement, you couldn’t be certain.   

Either way, your father certainly was pleased by the request. Spending the next month boring you all with the rules on how he expected you to behave at court and how it was high time his three eldest daughters found a suitable husband.   

You, on the other hand, were more concerned by how this invitation would lead you straight into the dragon's den and path of the very man you’d been trying to avoid.   

Vhagar had been spotted more than a handful of times gliding over the bay these past few weeks, and you had certainly not ventured down to the beach in all that time. No, you had hardly left the castle walls, and mortification had stuck to your skin like a blemish only you could see.   

So, when the time arrived for you to leave for Kings Landing, you were not in high spirits. Not that your family noticed. Too busy with their own thoughts on the power and position which could be gained from a friendship with the crown, they barely listened when you feigned illness or tried to make excuses to grant you leave from the journey.   

Afterall, refusing such an invite would be akin to madness. No, in your mother's opinion, nothing could make a girl feel better than a summer of opulence and splendour in the Red Keep.   

Jousting, dancing, feasts and handsome young knights. The upcoming festivities should have been the stuff of dreams for an unmarried high-born lady such as yourself. But you were descending into what felt like the beginnings of your own personal hell.     

Unlike your sister Cassandra, you were not accomplished in music or the arts. Nor were you fun and vibrant like Maris, who was always the epitome of charm and wit.   

Defiant and sour was how Septa Orella had often described you and that was on the days when you’d tried your best to behave like a lady instead of muddying your dresses. Though you were older now, you supposed not much had changed since then. If it had, Aemond would not have caught you splashing in the waves like a naughty child.   

But it was too late to do anything about that now. Aemond had seen you that day and, if Septa Orella was still alive, you were certain she would have enjoyed knowing you were finally getting your comeuppance. Not that you would have dared to tell her your reasons for wanting to avoid Kings Landing. That was a secret you hoped to take to the grave, yet you had the terrible suspicion it would soon be revealed for all to hear.   

It took over a week for your family's carriage to finally make its way through the bronze gates of the Red Keep. You supposed this moment was inevitable, yet it still came as quite a shock, your nerves frayed, your stomach churning. The only comfort was the cover of darkness and the late hour which provided you one last night before you had to face the other courtiers and, of course, Aemond .   

You were met by a servant who had been standing by for your arrival, and he escorted you all to a suite of well-appointed chambers which had been readied for your stay. You even had your own room. A large four poster bed commanding its centre, curtained with heavy green brocades which matched the sumptuous quilt and feather pillows. On the nightstand, there was a stack of leather-bound books, and the window was furnished with a velvet chaise on which to read them.   

Everything was perfect, and you would be quite comfortable here if it wasn’t for the gnawing dread which squeezed your insides every time you thought of a certain dragon prince. And there was no remedy for that . Only resignation, though you did not want to accept the idea of actually having to see Aemond until he was standing right in front of you.   

In the morning, breakfast was brought to your family's chambers on gilded trays along with a roll of parchment which summoned you all for an audience with the Queen.   

Again, you tried to make an excuse which would allow you to stay behind, but Borros Baratheon had no interest in the complaints of a daughter. So, when breakfast was cleared away, your stomach only filled with nerves, you had no choice but to follow your family into the Red Keeps imposing hall.   

You were announced, one by one. Your father, mother, Cassandra, Maris and then you. All presented to Queen Alicent who seemed as uninterested in your arrival as her son, Prince Aegon, who was standing by her side.     

Princess Helaena, however, was very excited by the appearance of three young ladies and was quick to greet you all. Without having to ask, she explained that Aemond was not in Kings Landing at present.  

He was hunting with Vhagar in Dorne and, though the thought of him racing through the sky on dragon back made you shiver, you were suddenly free, and a whole world of opportunity seemed to open up before you.  

Perhaps you would not see Aemond at all, what an enticing thought that was, even if you knew it wasn’t true. Still, you would not see him for a while and that felt like long enough.    

When you were allowed to leave the great hall, you joined Helaena and your sisters for a stroll in the rose garden and you were surprised by its beauty.  

Roses clambered and sprawled for as far and wide as the eye could see. Every shade of pink imaginable punctuated by froths of lavender and bright purple spears of salvia. It smelled divine and hummed with the buzz of a thousand bumble bees.   

Accompanying you through the turns of the garden were a gaggle of wealthy suitors, who were like sharks in the water at the smell of fresh young blood. Yet even they did not deter from the roses.  

You’d brought a book from your room to allow you an excuse to avoid eye contact with Aemond. Now you had every intention of reading it under the shade of a good tree, but Tyland Lannister had other ideas.   

“May I join you, Lady Baratheon?” he asked gallantly, sweeping his long golden cape over his shoulder as he knelt on the grass before you.  

Though much older than yourself and of no interest to you personally, he was master of ships and favoured by the royal family, so you had no choice but to smile and say, “of course, My Lord.”  

He sat a little too close, his expectant eyes waiting for you to entertain him with small talk and flattery as young ladies are trained to do. But you were not as well-bred as your sisters, nor did you have any interest in the men at court.   

You held his stare, your fingers quietly itching to open your book, but he was not deterred.   

“I trust your journey here was pleasant?” he said.  

“As pleasant as can be expected, my Lord.”  

“And you find your quarters here to be suitable?”  

“Indeed.”  

“That is good. Will your family be attending the dance this evening?”  

“I believe so.”  

He smiled, satisfied and not at all deterred by your clipped, formal answers. In fact, the conversation continued like that for quite some time. Even when you made haste to escape from the shade of the tree in favour of the sun. Lord Lannister took it upon himself to escort you around the grounds with a keen interest in everything you had to say, and he was not the only one.   

After a while, you were joined by Lord Karstark and Ser Harrold, all three of them vying for your attention in a manner you were wholly unaccustomed to. Your fathers banner men would never be so bold in their pursuit of his daughters, and you had never been outside the boundary of the Stormlands before now.   

You were relieved when your mother finally called you to tea and disheartened some hours later when it was time for the feast and the first of the summer dances.   

Still, you had no choice in the matter, though you would rather stay in your room and make good use of the chaise and your stack of books. It wasn’t just Aemond you wanted to avoid; it was court. It didn’t seem to call to you like it did to Maris and you envied her excitement and her gown.  

Hers was new, the prettiest shade of sage green velvet while yours was honey yellow silk. You loathed yellow. But that was the price of being a third daughter. It had been a beautiful dress on Cassandra, now it was too old and unstylish for the eldest of the Baratheon girls.  

You had complained of such maltreatments when you were younger. But your mother had always said ‘your face was your bauble’, and it had meant as little to you now as it did then.  

The saving grace was your shoes, and they were beautiful indeed. Black velvet pumps which Cassandra had painstakingly embroidered with dainty flowers and vines while hers were plain.

So, deciding to at least try to enjoy the evening, you entered the hall, which was bursting with life and vibrance and, when it came time to dance, you were certainly not without partners.   

In fact, you were spoiled for choice though Tyland Lannister seemed determined to commandeer your hand at every opportunity. If you were to be honest with yourself, you enjoyed the attention, and the twists and turns of each dance with greater pleasure than you’d hoped to achieve. The music was merry, and the elderflower wine drank like sugar syrup before swirling happily in your veins.   

And that’s how it was for almost two weeks at court. Fun and Frivolity.  

After the first few days, you’d almost forgotten the reason you didn't want to come here in the first place. You enjoyed all the lazy afternoons in the garden and looked forward to the evening entertainment with as much excitement as your sisters.  

Ser Harrold, a knight of the realm and the second son to his father’s modest estate, had quickly become your favourite dance partner. Though your hand was still very much pursued by the master of ships. So much so, that your father had begun to imagine Tyland Lannister might even propose. An idea which gave you a new dread in the pit of your stomach.  

So that night, some thirteen days after your arrival in King’s Landing, it was Tyland's attention which you were trying to avoid. So preoccupied with evading his advances, you couldn’t be certain just how long Aemond Targaryen had been witness to the whole scene. Only that when you noticed him, lurking in the shadows at the edges of the room, you could hardly look away.  

The wine had begun to make you feel as light as a feather, but Aemond’s presence seemed to ground you to the floor like a boulder. The dance no longer feeling as merry and Ser Harrold’s arms becoming little more than a prison for Aemond’s scrutiny.  

When had he returned?  

Why did he look at you like that?   

When the dance with Ser Harrold was finally over, you said ‘goodnight’ and retreated to your room without sharing a single word with another soul and certainly not the dragon prince.   

Then in an act of self-indulgent madness, you tried to fool yourself into thinking he might have forgotten all about that day at the beach. Or at least forgotten the finer details, yet you could remember them all.  

The way he had looked at you, the curve of his smile and the soft commanding sound of his voice.  

You had never hated someone until then and you hated Aemond Targaryen more than anything.  

Why couldn’t he have stayed away?   

The next day, the routine was practically the same as every other. Breakfast in your chambers followed by an afternoon in the gardens. Only this time, the men who had been begging for your dances, could barely look you in the eye. Even Lord Lannister had no interest in the usual small talk and left the gardens almost as soon as you arrived.   

You couldn’t stop the knot which formed in the pit of your stomach. Or the gnawing realisation, that while all the other young ladies were flirting and laughing with suitors, you were cast aside. A solitary figure in a crowd of couples with only your book to keep you company until it was time for tea, and you were certainly ready for it.   

You’d never spent such lonely hours in the company of so many people before, and you were certain it was no coincidence.   

Had Aemond told the men at court of your indiscretion?  

Would he shame your family for your actions that day on the beach?  

What was worse, you had nobody you could ask without risking exposure. No, better to hold your head high and remain as calm and unshaken as possible in the face of utter social annihilation.   

~~~

Thank you for reading! So many people found this story so quickly which is exciting. I wrote most of this story at the start of last year and I wasn't sure if I was going to publish it but I'm glad I have. Hopefully I'll be able to post another chapter or even two before I return to work and real life in a few days. But what do we think so far? Has Aemond revealed all? Or something else?

#aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond fanfiction #aemond one eye #hotd aemond #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon #ewan mitchell #romance #female reader

[youre-a-total--poser]

Hey i was wondering if you write about mental illness? If so could you write a fic where Nat(mother figure) starts to notice that the teen reader isn’t eating as much and is losing weight. So she she confronts the reader and reader denies it and as weeks go by nat is trying to make reader eat but reader says their is nothing wrong with her. Also reader goes to school and peter also starts to notice so he tells nat cuz she is like the readers mom so then nat has enough and tells the team and they have an intervention and help the reader. I was thinking that the reader would be like an orphan and joined the avengers at 12 cuz they were a widow that nat recused so nat is like a mother figure and you can decide if peter and her are love interests. I totally understand if you dont want to write this it would just really help me a lot. Thanks!!!

Let Us Help You (Request)

Warnings: Eating Disorders and all the things relating to that Age: 15 Word Count: 2,050 Requests: Open Summary: Read the request and it will explain everything Requested by: Annonomys on Tumblr. I hope everything is okay my messages are always open if you or anyone else wants to talk. Date: 19/11/2023 A/N: I'm back at least I think I'm back I haven't really decided yet. I had a lot of stuff to deal with from starting college and life that I wanted to deal with first.

Sorry if this is terrible it's the first time that I've written anything in months so just bear with me while I get back into it.

I've opened the requests again so if anyone sent in a request from before can you send it in again

Masterlist

---⧗---

From the age of two, you were taken away from your parents and were trained in the Red Room. Up until the age of 14 killing, pain, fighting and hunger were all that you knew that was until Natasha Romanoff and Yelena Belova destroyed the Red Room and rescued you and the other girls who were there.

Since you were the youngest Natasha didn't know what do to with you so she ended up taking you back to the Avengers compound with her.

An agreement was made and they allowed you to stay with them. Everyone was nice to you and they tried their hardest to get you to open up to them but nothing really worked the only person who actually succeeded was Natasha.

She understood exactly what you went through since she went through the exact same thing. She helped you through the nightmares and the panic attacks.

After many months Natasha discovered that your parents perished in a terrible fire and you were an orphan now.

You were sad when you heard the news but not enough for it to have a major impact on your life since you couldn't even remember them besides it's not like you were alone you had Natasha and all the other Avengers taking care of you.

---⧗---

It was nearly 3 years since you were rescued from the Red Room and you still weren't used to your newfound freedom. You were living in a space place, had access to unlimited food, were allowed to go outside whenever you wanted and you even attended school.

Because you were allowed to eat whatever and whenever you wanted you gained quite a bit of weight. You planned to gain weight but not as much as what you were now and it wasn't until that when you, Steve and Sam went on a run and you couldn't even keep up with Sam anymore you knew that it was time for a change.

You didn't tell Natasha or anyone else about your new weight loss journey because you knew that they would tell you that you didn't need to lose any weight.

You started looking online for the most effective diets for teens but they all looked like they would be too much work so you decided that not eating and training all the time would be the quickest way to lose weight.

---⧗---

The first 2 days of your new weight loss journey went by fine. You pretended to be late for school so no one would question why you were only eating half a slice of toast. You didn't eat lunch at school then Natasha asked what you wanted for dinner you told her that you ate on your way home from school

It was going on 7 pm you made your way down to the gym and told Natasha that you were bored as an excuse to join in with hers and Steve's training session.

You originally thought that the weekends would be much harder to skip meals but after you forced yourself to eat two slices of toast so no one would question anything you told Natasha that you were going to Peter's so you both could work on homework together.

You were at Peters's for hours and when his aunt asked if you wanted to stay for dinner you told her that Natasha was taking you out for dinner later and when you got home you told Natasha that you had dinner at Peter's

---⧗---

A few months have passed and things obviously have been terrible maybe not all terrible but the majority of it has been.

---⧗---

It has finally become noticeable that you have lost so much weight and girls at school have been giving you compliments about how good you look. Those compliments instantly cancel out all the bad stuff that has been happening. Lying to your friends and family about what you're eating, all the headaches and dizzy spells, collapsing when you went on a run with Steve and the most embarrassing one of all when you passed out in gym class.

You only made it halfway through the school day before you had to go to the nurse since you had a bad headache and you were feeling so dizzy.

The school nurse phoned home and Natasha came and picked you up

You were told that Natasha was here and you made your way outside and over to her car. She didn't look happy maybe because it's been nearly every day for weeks that someone has had to come pick you up halfway through the school day.

She's been so distracted with work lately that she hasn't actually noticed that you haven't been eating and you've lost so much weight no one at home has really noticed and if they have they haven't said anything.

Before you could even get fully in the car she started interrogating you.

"What going on?" She asked.

"Nothing." You responded while putting on your seatbelt.

"Well, it must be something otherwise you wouldn't be asking to come home early every day. Just because I've been busy with work doesn't mean that I don't know what you've been doing"

"It's nothing." you sighed.

Natasha shook her head and then turned off the engine. "we're not moving till you tell me what's going on with you."

You covered your face with your hands. "honestly it's nothing please just take me home I'm tired and everything hurts."

She was going to say something but stopped herself then turned back on the engine and drove you home.

As soon as you got home you went right to your room got changed and went to sleep.

---⧗---

While Natasha was waiting for you to wake up from your nap she was sitting in the common room with her laptop on her lap working on mission reports.

A figure appeared next to her and she thought it was you at first but when she looked up it was Peter.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Ms Romanoff," Peter said nervously.

"It's okay Peter," Natasha said closing her laptop. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I just came here to check on Y/N. My Aunt made her some soup since she's been skipping lunch every day at school and she's probably not eaten anything today."

"She's been skipping lunch?" Natasha asked standing up.

"Yeah, and I don't think that it's just lunch whenever she's over at my house she always makes excuses about how she can't stay for dinner."

It broke Natasha's heart when she heard that the young girl who she saw as her daughter was doing this to herself. Natasha wished that she could take these last few months back and notice what was going on and help you.

"Thanks, Peter, I'll go check on her," Natasha replied then headed to your room.

She quietly sneaked into your room but you were still asleep. She saw your phone lying on your bedside table and started looking through it something that she had never done before and thought that she would never do but it was the only way that she could get answers.

As she looked through your phone there was so many app that was meant for dieting and calorie counting, lots of YouTube videos about dieting and countless Google searches about it too.

Natasha started tearing up she knew that she had to do whatever she could to help you before it became too late and she really hoped that it wasn't already too late.

---⧗---

When you woke up it was nearly 6 pm. You went downstairs to get some water and noticed that everyone was in the common room like they were having some sort of meeting.

"What's going on?" You asked walking closer to everyone.

"Come sit down," Natasha said patting the empty spot beside her.

You sat down beside Natasha and instantly felt everyone's eyes on you.

Natasha gently took your hands in her and held them tightly. "We just want you to know that we're not mad or disappointed we just want to help you," Natasha said softly

You looked around at everyone's concerned faces. "Okay," you replied, still unsure of what exactly was going on.

"Sweetie I know that we I mean that I've been busy lately and I haven't been around much to notice what you're going through," Natasha said

"What are you talking about Nat? I'm fine, I don't have any problems," you say quickly, hoping to brush off her worries and hide away from the situation.

"Sweetie, I know it's hard, but you don't have to lie to us. We know that you're skipping meals. There's no denying that something is going on, and we only want to help you get better."

"I'm not lying, Nat! I'm just busy with school and essays and don't have time to eat like I used to. I don't have any problems, I don't need your help, leave me alone!" You shouted while standing up.

Natasha stands up and takes hold of your hands, them very tightly. "We know you've been struggling, and we're here to support you through this. You don't have to keep pretending or hiding from us, we just want to help."

Tears started forming in your eyes "I want to stop but I can't those girls at school think being thin is cool. They started becoming my friends when I started losing weight. I don't want to lose them as friends."

"Y/N you shouldn't be friends with people who made you do things like that to yourself you deserve better friends," Wanda says.

"just stop you all don't understand what it's like to be a teenage girl in high school." You shouted

You went to walk away but wanda grabbed your arm "Y/N, we may not have the same exact experiences as you, but that doesn't mean we can't help you. We've been through a lot and know how hard it is to deal with challenges and trauma, and we want to be there for you and help you through this. You don't have to go through this alone, and we're all here to support you."

You tried to hold the tears back, you tried to stay strong so that they would forget all of this and you could go back and hide in your room but you just couldn't any longer the feeling was building up inside of you desperate to get out and it all came out at once.

"It's all just too much! I can't handle this anymore, I'm so tired of fighting. I'm so tired of being in pain and feeling like I'm never enough. I don't know how to stop, I just want the pain to go away."

Natasha wrapped her arms around you and held you tightly. "It's going to be okay. We're going to get you the help that you need and everything is going to be okay I promise." She said softly

---⧗--- Nearly a year had passed and things are better than they've ever been. You have been going to therapy and support groups and though at first, you thought that they would do nothing to help you they ended up making such a huge difference in your life. They would give out special rewards for weight gain and they would bring in people who were going through what you were going through and they would talk about their experience and what helped them be the person they were today.

With every single person that came into talk, you felt so inspired by them and you knew that change can become possible and it did.

You were also invited to be a speaker and you hoped to also inspire other kids.

You were also moved into a different school which made you much happier. You made so many new friends who cared about you and not about your number on the scale or your dress size.

The only thing that you missed about your old school was being there with Peter. Even though you still saw him every day after school it was still strange not to see him in the classroom but it didn't matter your friendship was as strong as ever and that was all that mattered.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #mama nat #natasha x teen #natasha x teen reader #natasha romanoff x teen reader #natasha romanoff x teen #peter parker x reader #wanda maximoff x teen reader

[skzhocomments]

Mafia Book #2 - PART II - The Withered Rose - Chapter 6 - Quid pro quo

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

General masterlist

PART I - The Black Iris

---

Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7

---

PART II - The Withered Rose

Chapter 6 - Quid pro quo

chapter word count: ~3k words

Weeks later, Emilia still can’t bring herself to talk to Chris again. It hurts to think about him, it hurts to see him every morning, and it hurts to watch him play with Ivy, but she’s become more lenient.

Still, she stands by her word, and she still refuses any attempt of his to reconcile.

Chris is devastated by this, but at least Emilia is alive. That’s what he tells himself during the late hours of the night, when he’s alone in bed. After all, he only ever told the night how much he misses her company.

He sometimes picks up his guitar and plays something, singing words that help him connect somehow with Emilia. He’s gotten better and better at singing, and it gives him a somewhat sense of peace, to be able to relate the lyrics to what he’s feeling.

It is one of these nights when he is singing Still loving you by Scorpions, hitting chord after chord, when Iris knocks on his door.

“Come in.” He says but continues strumming the chords softly and singing the lyrics even after she enters and closes the door behind her.

~

~

If we’d go again all the way from the start

I would try to change the things that killed our love

Your pride has built a wall so strong that I can’t get through

Is there really no chance to start once again?

I’m still loving you

~

“Your singing voice is beautiful.” Iris compliments.

“Thanks.” Chris says as he puts the guitar away. “What is it?”

“Just came to see how you’ve been doing lately. We haven’t talked much.” She sits down and watches him exhale slowly.

“It’s been hard, Iris. Is grief the price we pay for love? I’m in so much pain…”

“I figured.” She smiles. “Give your heart a rest, Chris.”

“How? Or even better, how can I win her back? I’m giving her all the time in the world, but… she still won’t come back, will she?”

“I don’t know… she might. She lets you play with Ivy even when she’s around nowadays, isn’t she?”

“Yes, but… it’s been months, Iris. She’s been here for more than 4 months, and we’ve only spoken once.”

“When she stabbed you?” Iris chuckles.

“It’s not funny.”

“No, but it’s good for you. She could’ve gotten revenge and killed you, but she didn’t. She still loves you.”

“What can I do, Iris? Is there anything I can give her to make her reconsider our relationship? She must know I’d do anything for her… right?”

“Hmm… I’m not sure, Chris. Besides waiting, I don’t know what you can do about it…”

“Yeah. I’m stuck.”

“By the way, something’s been bothering me for a while. When she first came here, she was carrying around a picture of a man. Do you know who he is? Is he important to her in any way?”

“A picture of a man?” Chris tilts his head. “I’m not sure. Could be her ex partner and best friend from when she was still in The Scarlet Rose.”

“Can you show me a picture of him?”

“Why?” Chris raises an eyebrow, but rummages through the files in his desk nonetheless and finds Emilia’s file from a few years ago. He pulls out a large picture of San from inside of it and hands it over to Iris.

“Hmm.” She starts after analysing the picture for a few minutes. “If he is her best friend, why not bring him back? Maybe reuniting with him will make her softer.”

“He’s dead.” Chris sighs. “Got killed in a mission more than 6 years ago.”

“Uhm, no. Seo-jun is not dead. I put him in a mental institution four years ago.”

“Seo-jun? This man’s name is Choi San.” Chris frowns.

“Chris, I would never forget this pretty face.” She chuckles. “This man is called Seo-jun and he was one of my patients. He got caught after murdering two men who brutally raped a young girl, and I deemed him mentally ill and sent him to an institution like 200 kilometres away from here.”

“What?” Chris starts to tremble. Could this be that one thing he could do for Emilia to make her reconsider giving him another chance?

“Truth be between us, Seo-jun is not mentally ill. Those bastards saw it coming. I didn’t want him to go to jail, so I trained him on how to act in front of the psychiatrists and the jury while I sooo earnestly presented my opinion.”

“You’re one hell of a psychologist.” Chris chuckles. “Are you certain he is the same person?”

“I’m certain. However, if you need more proof, we can check if we can access my files…”

“Let’s go to Jisung.”

Chris stands up and they exit the room, heading towards Jisung’s office. In the past months, Iris has learnt how to use the program created by Han as well, so she knows exactly which buttons to click and what to search for.

Sure enough, after about 20 minutes, they’re inside the police’s files, and a picture of Seo-jun stares back at them.

“I can’t believe it.” Chris shakes his head. “It’s really him.”

“He’s still in the same institution I put him in apparently. He must be a good actor to keep up the act for so many years.”

“Iris, I would kiss you right now if I didn’t know Minho would kill me. This is the best thing you’ve ever done for me.”

“Pfft.” Iris chuckles. “I don’t want any kisses from you, thank you.”

“I still don’t understand how… I mean, I’ve looked for him before, but we couldn’t find anything. We were certain he was dead.”

“He must’ve changed his name, gotten a fake identity, faked his death. Sounds familiar?”

“Yeah. No wonder he and Emilia were in the same mafia” Chris chuckles, feeling ecstatic. Perhaps Emilia would understand his feelings better if he were to bring San back to her. Things couldn’t have turned out to be more perfect.

“So, how do we get him out of there?” Iris asks, leaning back on the chair.

“I need you to go get Seungmin, Hyunjin and Lix right now.”

“Chris, it’s 3 AM.”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re getting San out of there by the end of the week. Can’t risk anything happening to him now that we know he’s alive and well.”

~

“What does he want this time?” Emilia sighs while walking with Minho towards Chan’s office.

“You’ll see.”

“And why did he have to come as well?” She points to Wooyoung who’s following them closely behind.

“I wanna know too. What am I doing here?” He butts in.

“You’ll both see. Just walk and shut up.”

Once Minho reaches Chan’s office, he knocks on the door two times, similarly to when Emilia first got here again a few months ago. She gets goosebumps, all the feelings from that day coming back to her, but she tries to keep calm.

What could Chris possibly want from both her and Wooyoung?

“Come in.” He says, and Minho opens the door and signals to the two of them to follow him.

“What is-” Emilia starts, but soon enough, her eyes travel to a man she never thought she’d see alive again.

“Emi…” He starts, and then he sees Wooyoung, who angrily brushes past Emilia and goes to San, throwing a punch right in his face.

San takes it like a champ, and then hugs Wooyoung tightly.

“Brother, I had no idea you were alive all this time. How?! Where the fuck were you?!” Wooyoung starts crying, and Emilia feels her eyes watering too.

She doesn’t know what to do.

Should she also go embrace San?

Should she be angry that he’s never come for her all these years?

Instead of doing anything, she watches how San and Wooyoung hold each other, and she places one hand on her heart, checking if it’s still beating. It certainly feels like it stopped.

Once they are done hugging each other, San rushes towards Emilia and picks her up, holding her tightly. He grabs her cheeks and presses a kiss on her forehead, caressing her face carefully.

“You’re alive.” He says, exhaling.

“That should be my line.” She chuckles. “I was so sure that back then, in that building-”

“I thought so too. Boss betrayed me and sent two people to shoot me.”

“Then, how…? How come you’re still alive?”

“He happened to send a man I’ve saved in another mission years prior, when I first joined, and he spared me. Well, he still shot me, but in a non-life threatening spot, and then he took me away somewhere, put a few people to nurse me back to health. He really values loyalty and respect, and he has this quid pro quo mentality thankfully. I saved him once, he saved me once, now we’re even.”

“Why… why did you never come back for me?” Emilia bursts out crying, but San keeps comforting her, wiping the tears away one after another.

“I did… I tried to come back and get you, so we could run away just as we always wanted, but by the time I could return, you had already been sent to kill Stray Kids’ leader. I heard you died that night. I assumed Boss betrayed you too.”

“He did, but… Chris saved my life.” She looks at Chan, who is silently observing their reunion.

San lets go of Emilia and goes towards Chris, pulling him into a big embrace.

“Thank you, brother, thank you so much for sparing her. I cannot thank you enough. And also for bringing me back.”

“How did you even find him?” Emilia asks Chan, who looks at Iris.

“It was thanks to Iris that we were able to find out that he’s alive. He happened to be her patient before she came to us.”

“I recognised him from the polaroid you dropped in the greenhouse. Although I knew him by a different name.”

“I honestly… can’t believe this.” Emilia shakes her head. Is this a dream?

She tries pinching her arm, which immediately starts hurting. San is right here. This isn’t a dream. This is real life.

“Now you know how we felt when we discovered that you’re alive.” Minho says, and Iris elbows his side to make him shut up.

Emilia goes to Iris and grabs her right hand, squeezing it tight and mouthing a ‘Thank you’, and then she goes in front of Chris. They look at each other for a few seconds, none of them making any attempt to move, before Emilia finally puts her arms around his neck and pulls him into a hug.

He is unsure of what to do at first, but he decides to wrap his arms around her waist and hug her back when he realises it’s safe to do so, and that it wouldn’t make her uncomfortable.

Her body feels the same and fits his just right. It’s the first time they are embracing ever since he found out she hasn’t died, and he doesn’t want the moment to end.

However, Emilia eventually pulls back, and smiles at him genuinely for a brief moment before turning back to San and Wooyoung.

“There’s a lot for us to catch up on.” She says to them.

“Yeah, for example, Emilia is a mother now.” Wooyoung adds.

“A what?!” San’s eyes widen.

“Yeah. I have a really cute daughter. Her name’s Ivy. She’s sleeping now, but once she is awake, you have to meet her.” Emilia smiles and grabs San’s hand, and he squeezes it back.

“And I’ve been helping Emilia bring her up. She even calls me daddy.”

“Who, Emilia?” San chuckles.

“No, idiot, Ivy!” Wooyoung replies with grimace on his face at the thought of Emilia ever addressing him as daddy, and he shudders briefly.

“But wait, are you a single mom?” San asks with a frown, but Emilia doesn’t answer.

She doesn’t know what to answer, with Chris right there in the room.

“Who is the bastard who got you pregnant and left you?” San asks angrily, clenching his fist. “I’m gonna kill him when I find out.”

“It’s-”

“It’s me.” Chris says with a sigh, and San turns his attention back to him.

“What? But-”

“It’s a bit complicated.” Emilia chuckles, cutting San off and trying to push him out of the room. “I’ll tell you everything, let’s go and eat something. Are you hungry?”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but you know you aren’t allowed outside, yeah?” Minho stops them.

“What? Why not?” Wooyoung asks, confused.

“We had to get him out of a mental institution to bring him here. No one should see him.”

“Mental institution?” Emilia frowns. “Why?”

“It was either that or jail, and your friend here-” he looks at Iris “decided an asylum is better than jail, so she made it work somehow. I had a really peaceful time these past 4 years thanks to her.”

“You’re full of surprises.” Emilia says to Iris, who just bows a bit with her head in acknowledgement of the compliment.

For the first time ever since coming back, Emilia no longer feels any resentment towards Iris. She used to put a lot of blame on her for dragging her and Ivy back to the SKZ mansion with Minho, but now, she only feels grateful.

~

The trio leaves the room, heading over to Hyo’s old room, which has been redecorated to accommodate Wooyoung for the time being.

This came as another surprise for Emilia, as she never expected Chan in a million years to be willing to ever unlock that room and use it again. This is yet another sign that he is genuinely changing, and it’s not all a façade just to win her over.

She is glad that Wooyoung now occupies this space; it’s most convenient, as it is the room directly next to hers, and Wooyoung is able to easily navigate between the two rooms in case Ivy needs anything.

Once in Wooyoung’s room, the three of them sit down on the bed and begin sharing stories. San is the one who breaks the ice, filling them in all the details about his time after he got out of the Rose Mafia, until he eventually got caught by the police after being careless one night. Then, he talks about meeting Iris, who seemed to be the only person not condemning him for murdering those two people.

Emilia becomes more and more impressed with Iris, hearing about how she was willing to lie to the judge and to the whole police force, risking her career and her freedom, for, essentially, a stranger. It was bold of her to do so, but Emilia is thankful nonetheless that Iris pulled some strings to keep San out of prison. With how many enemies of theirs are in there, the poor guy would’ve never stood a chance.

She likes her. Maybe they could even become friends, eventually.

Who knows?

When San finishes his story, Wooyoung is the next one who starts. He tells San about all their friends in ATEEZ, about how each of them lives far away from each other due to the high risk of being hunted down by their enemies. He tells him about how much he loathed Emilia, blaming her all this time for San’s death, and about his thought process when he decided to help her after all.

When the two men are done talking, hours have already passed. Emilia is grateful that Seungmin offered to take care of Ivy when Chris summoned them, and that he still hasn’t come to disturb them at all. He’s been giving them time to talk, to catch up on everything, to get used to the idea that they’re all alive and well.

Her turn finally comes, and Emilia starts her story. It’s tiring and painful to go through all the betrayals once more, but she does so, leaving no details aside. San listens carefully to her words, pets her back, holds her hand, and comforts her, until she’s finally done explaining.

“It’s crazy that we reunited like this.” Wooyoung chuckles after a while. “Like, can you believe it?”

“What’s crazy to me is that Emilia has been alive this whole time and I didn’t know.” San frowns.

“Bro, that’s what we should be saying!” Wooyoung counters. “Why the fuck haven’t you come to me?”

“How? You were nowhere to be found! I went to the old warehouse, but no one was there anymore!”

“You did move to that forest a bit after San’s death…” Emilia adds. “Since he spent about 2 years away, there’s no way for him to know where you could’ve gone.”

“Shit, yeah. You’re right.”

“So, what are you going to do about Chris?” San asks Emilia, who instantly turns her eyes away.

“I’m kinda still running away from this whole situation, am I not?”

“Yeah, but you’ve always been a coward.” Wooyoung says, and San slaps his thigh.

“No, Emi. It just takes you a bit longer to put your thoughts in order, that’s all.”

“But what should I do?” She frowns.

“Man’s painfully obviously still in love with you, Shade.” Wooyoung answers. “Like, the first time we got here, he kept checking all the time if you’re really here. He must’ve thought he was dreaming or something, that you’d be gone when he opened his eyes the following morning.”

“I know… I know he still loves me, but…”

“No, but seriously, Shade. If regret and guilt could take human form, it would look like that man.”

“When did you become so poetic, Wooyoung? I swear you’ve been acting stupid all these years, and now-” Emilia starts as Wooyoung sticks his tongue out.

“It’s okay to do what you feel. Stay away for some more time, forgive him, or don’t forgive him. Anything you choose is fine, Emi.” San holds her hand again, giving her an assuring smile.

“What if I make the wrong choice?” She whispers.

“Any choices we make… take us somewhere, don’t they?” Wooyoung adds.

“Besides, who cares if it’s right or wrong? As long as you make it by following your heart and your brain, it’s going to be good.”

“But what if my heart and my brain want different things? What happens then?”

“I guess you choose which one you value more.” San shrugs briefly. “But Emi… you’ve always followed your mind until now, haven’t you?”

“I guess…”

“Maybe it’s time to follow your heart too.”

---

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7

#stray kids #straykids #stray kids smut #stray kids masterlist #stray kids mafia #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids imagines #bang chan #bang chan smut #bang chan imagines #bang chan fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids scenarios #skz stay #stay #lee know #changbin #skz #hyunjin #felix #han jisung #seungmin #jeongin #san ateez #momo twice #wattpad #ao3 #ao3 writer #fanfiction #fanfic

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Love Song for a Vampire Pt.20

Pairing(s): Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Edward Cullen x Bella Swan Warnings: none Words: 3348 Summary: You meet Carmen and Eleazor. Part 1    Part 2    Part 3    Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 21  Part 22  Part 23  Part 24  Part 25  Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 32  Part 33  Part 34  Part 35  Part 36  Part 37  Part 38  Part 39

Your summer school homework was the bane of your existence, tapping your pencil incessantly against your bottom lip as you stared at the jumble of letters and numbers. Whose idea was it to put letters in math anyway? Perhaps you would have known had you paid more attention in your classes instead of falling asleep or thinking of your wolf life. A life no one else in your class was aware of.

There was a small school on the La Push reservation that must have had the smallest classes in the state. Only a hand few of other students attended. A smaller class should have been better for your scholastic life right? Not when you part-timed as a wolf at night. Such an essential part to both the safety of La Push and Forks yet no one else was to know except for your fellow school going pack members who found lessons to be just as tedious. Well, excluding Quil. None of you knew how he did it, but he had passed all of his classes with a strong C across the board. You refused to accept that Quil, the same kid who used to eat sand when he was younger, was actually smarter than you.

Rubbing your fingers against your forehead, you lean back in your chair and close your eyes if just for a moment. Your body ached to run. To shed your useless human skin and take the powerful form of your wolf. Unfortunately your mom and dad had put their foot down on you at least finishing one homework assignment before you left to gallivant with the rest of your pack. By all means it was fair, but that was of little consolation now that you were faced with actually doing the work. You could take down newborn vampires but math was another battle that you were ill-equipped to handle.

You were all too eager to answer your phone when it started to ring. The caller ID had every cell in your body leaping for joy. Edward was calling. How long had it been since you heard his voice? 

Feeling guilty at how excited you were at the prospect of talking to him, you squash down those damnable butterfly flutters and pick up your phone. Did Bella tell him of the lunch you two spent together? It didn’t seem like they were speaking with one another. 

With great trepidation and elation, you press your thumb on the green answer button.

**

Rude to stare at people, you were unable to prevent your eyes from gawking at the two new vampires that stood before you. Their gold eyes told you have the identical vegetarian lifestyle that the Cullens had.

“Carmen, Eleazor, this is (y/n).” Edward introduces you with a hint of pride that you caught onto quickly. You needed to act cool. Show them that his presence didn’t affect you as much as it actually did. If they were close to Edward, he must have told them everything including that you had essentially deemed him to be your soulmate. “(Y/n), these are two members of the Denali coven. Eleazor used to be in the Volturi a long time ago. They wanted to meet both you and Bella. Get acquainted with you if we are to fight alongside each other in the future.”

So it was certain then, another battle loomed in the distance. Whether it happens a week from now or a month, Edward was already preparing for when the Volturi discovered that Bella had changed her mind about becoming a vampire and would remain human. You would have to fight for her safety once again. This time though it was different. Like you understood her better. Not that you ever resented her.

After your only real interaction with her though, you came to the conclusion that she was a good person who didn’t want any of this chaos either. In fact it seemed she resented herself a little bit for not being able to protect herself, let alone being able to protect Edward.

During your time in that diner, Bella had told you in detail what had happened in Italy when she first encountered the Volturi. All about why Edward went there in the first place and the underlying cruelty that lay underneath their put together facade. They were vampires that didn’t believe in drinking animal blood. Preferring the richness of that blood that flowed through humans instead.

She had been unable to protect him from a certain Volturi member’s power that caused invisible pain to grip its victim. Surprisingly though it hadn’t done anything to her. Bella seemed immune to this Jane’s power.

Pulling your lips into an easy grin, you held out your hand to the both of them. “Nice to meet you. It’s refreshing to meet a vampire that isn’t trying to kill me.”

Both Carmen and Eleazor smile at your little joke. Carmen shakes your hand first, her palm and fingers are like ice as they press against your warm hand. She didn’t recoil from your wolf scent, showed no sign like some of the other Cullen members had displayed when you first met them.

“This is the first time either of us have met anyone like you. Our world never ceases to amaze me. I wonder what other creatures could be thriving among us.” Eleazor comments after taking his turn to shake your hand.

That twisted face of Xiomara was like an incessant phantom in the back of your mind. Rearing it’s head up every so often to remind you of what real monsters existed. Monsters that shouldn’t be real and should stay in fairytales.

“I’m sure my alpha will want to meet the two of you as well. Show you the proof of our alliances with the Cullens.” Sam would be interested once you told him. A safe idea for you to come meet the new vampires first as you now seemed to be some sort of ambassador between the wolves and vampires. “How long will the two of you be staying here?”

“As long as it takes for us to come up with a decision and proposition for the other members of our coven.” Carmen sighs. “Three of them are still not so sure. Especially about working with your kind.”

Yeah, some members would have a problem with accepting two more so soon. Many were finally warming up to the members of the Cullen family. This new camaraderie was delicate. New and uncertain.

“We’re hoping this visit will make them come around.” Says Edward. “Depending on what Carmen and Eleazor say. They will respect their words far more than mine.”

“Not by any default of your’s.” Eleazor reassures Edward. The other three members decision was nothing of the personal nature against Edward, but surely he would be biased.

“Irina will be the real issue.” Honey gold eyes glance at you. “A male she was very interested in was killed by one of your kind.”

Wincing, you remembered the incident. The panic that had ensued because that vampire had tried to attack Bella in the woods of wolf territory. The Denali couple wave off your change in facial features, wanting you not to worry about it.

Carmen proceeds “It was a fairly new romance. We hadn’t known him for too long. Regardless, Irina feels jilted.”

You wanted to proceed carefully, choose your words with the utmost care. To not offend these newcomers since you didn't know how volatile they could be. A reassuring nod from Edward gave you the courage to speak up. "It was a regrettable action but we did what we were sworn to do: to protect the defenseless humans of Forks. That is all my pack wants, what we were made for." Compared to these immortal beings, you must have been but an infant. Hell, you hadn't even been anywhere outside of Washington before. Experiencing little of what the world had to offer you.

Both observe you with those once eerie gold eyes that you had grown so comfortable around. As if gauging your character, your inner soul. Would they deem you worthy to fight alongside with? You hoped you weren't setting a bad example for your pack. Maybe someone else should have been called rather than you. You were young and so inexperienced with giving empowering speeches. You felt so small compared to the other members. Paul or Jared were old enough to be delegates too, although a lot more short tempered than you.

The first one to break the quiet was Carmen who offered you a soft smile. "Well, I hope the others of your ilk are well mannered like you."

"Unfortunately, well mannered wolves are in short supply." You comment with a bit of a teasing lilt in your voice to inspire Carmen's smile to widen. Enough to make your body sag with relief. These were potential allies. Allies who, while they can be serious, also have a gentle side to them. Gentle and friendly. Just like the Cullens. Hope that the rest of your pack would warm up to them bloomed inside of you and you catch Edward's eyes on you. You shoot him a success filled smile. You would have a good report to give to the others.

***

When (y/n) bid farewell, promising of Sam getting into contact with them later that day, the three vampires lounge around in the living room. Everyone felt more relieved after the introduction. (y/n) had that effect on people: making them feel at ease.

"So. . . That's the wolf girl who. . . what was the word. . . imprinted on you?" Carmen asked Edward with a sly grin that made the corners of her lips curl in an impish way.

Thankfully his perpetual pale pallor prevented him from blushing. "Yes. (y/n)."

She knew she hit home with her comment as she witnessed Edward shift a little bit in his seat. "I like her. She's a cute little thing. The smell, I'm sure, I will get used to in time. It's very. . ."

"Earthy." Edward says before she was even able to finish. That's what he smelled anyway whenever he was around her. Earth and life itself.

"Is she aware of the attraction you feel toward her?" Eleazor speaks up.

He forgot how observant these two were. Of course his attentiveness toward (y/n) revealed it's true meaning to them. Indeed he himself couldn't ignore how excited he had been to see her and that (y/n) seemed like she was doing well. The dark circles under her eyes had lessened and she seemed. . . happy.

Longing was evident on both ends. So close they were but they consciously put a safe distance between themselves. That invisible wall known as Bella. She had broken things off with Edward yet neither of the fated pair were willing to take that first step to be together. Still respective of the fresh breakup and the love Edward still had for the human girl because each knew that he was willing to wage another battle, possibly a war, to protect her.

Edward couldn't think of a proper reply. Did (y/n) know? Could she smell a difference in Edward's scent whenever they were together? He didn't think so.

Putting a hand on her mate's shoulder, Carmen shook her head as if to say that the topic should be dropped for a later time. "And when can we meet Ms. Swan?"

Grateful for the change, Edward relaxed his back against the cushions. "That one will be a little bit more tricky. At the moment, none of my family are allowed to speak to her. We'd have to go through her father. He's the local police chief. After all that happened, he wants us to keep our distance."

Eleazor raised a brow. "He knows the truth?"

"All of it. Including the truth about the wolves." Edward nods.

The Volturi would not be happy that a second human knew of the secret existence of vampires. That would cause even more problems if it were to get back to them in Italy.

"I'm hoping," Edward starts "that once the wolves give their okay, Charlie will ease up a bit to at least let the two of you meet her. I'm sure Bella would like to meet the two of you as well. She hasn't really met a lot of vampires like us. Most of them have tried to kill her."

Charlie didn't keep it a secret that he preferred the wolves over the Cullens. At least they were still semi-human. And he had always been on friendly terms with Billy, Jacob's father. Something that had previously irked Edward when he had been dating Bella. It was obvious that Charlie wanted Bella to be with Jacob. That probably hadn't changed. Must have been enhanced since learning the truth of everyone. If Bella chose Jacob, then she could keep her humanity and not become a monster to be with him.

(y/n) also had Charlie's favor since she had saved him not too long ago from one of Victoria's stray newborns. Defended him without a second thought nor had she been worried of the repercussions of him learning the Quileute tribe's secret. Selfless, she had only been concerned about Charlie's safety and went up to bat for him in a heartbeat. Another attribute of the wolf girl that made Edward admire her so much. At a young mortal age, (y/n) owned the heart of someone leagues older than her. That was what drew Edward in, like a vacuum her genuine heart pulled him in and kept him there. With each interaction he had with her, the further Edward was pulled into her orbit. He wanted to stay there. Never had he felt so comfortable, so carefree. If he could dream, they would be filled with images of the lush woods with he and (y/n) spending endless hours together. If he could capture her scent in a bottle, he would. Bella may have been his singer, her blood so opulent and alluring that anyone of his kind would want to taste her, but it was (y/n)'s essence that made him feel human again. Made him feel alive.

Catching that Edward was getting lost in his own thoughts, Eleazor quietly cleared his throat to bring Edward back to their conversation. Embarrassed, Edward tucked away his musings for when he would later be alone. "I think (y/n) can convince her pack mates to meet you. Even without their consent, I'm sure she can go to Charlie and convince him too to let Bella meet you."

“You hold a lot of faith in (y/n).” Eleazor couldn’t resist the tease. Chuckling at her mate’s antics, Carmen playfully elbows him in the side. Also a slight warning to not tease Edward too much.

“She deserves my faith.” Edward told them with a whisper of softness in his eyes. Was this his fate in life? To be drawn to women that he shouldn’t be. First a human then a wolf. It would have been easier had he been attracted to Tanya. Even Rosalie when Carlisle first brought her as a potential partner for Edward. None of them had been able to bring forth such feelings within Edward though. Only Bella and (y/n) had sparked such affections in him.

**

“That’s what that strange scent was.” Jared murmurs to Paul after you told Sam of the Cullens’ two guests. They had already been in the area when you arrived at Sam’s. He called them in from the woods where they had been patrolling.

Arms folded across his chest, Sam mulls over what you had divulged about Carmen and Eleazor. More vegetarian vampires. Even had the gold tinted eyes.

“They seem like good people. Er- good vampires.” You had to correct yourself. “I didn’t sense any sort of hostility coming from them. Even when Laurent popped up in the conversation.”

It was still debated who exactly had killed Laurent when he trespassed on Quileute territory. You hadn’t been there when it happened. Only the older members of the pack had been in attendance in the forest that day. Perhaps fortunate for the younger members would not have had much experience.

“They want to meet the rest of the pack. And Bella.” Sam reiterates back to you what you had finished on.

Three pairs of eyes land on you. Trying not to feel intimidated in front of them, you straighten your back a little to feel more confident. “I think it’s natural that they want to meet everyone involved. How can we ask them to help us if they don’t really know us? We’re strangers to them. They won’t be willing to risk their lives against the Volturi, even if they are long time friends with the Cullens.” You look to Sam in particular. “For what it’s worth, I would be honored to calm them my comrades.”

A cool, impassive statue is Sam’s face until he pushes of the wall of his living room and goes over to pat your head. Confused, you, Jared and Paul watch Sam wordlessly step out of his house with a soft click of the door.

Mouth open, you direct your questioning over to Paul who was the one sitting closest to you. But he was just smiling. “What’s going on? Am I missing something?”

“Of course you are, (y/n).” Jared crows with a tilt of his head. “Couldn’t you tell?”

“Tell what?” They were beginning to annoy you with their aloofness.

Paul shakes his head. “He’s proud of you. You’ve really stepped up. Madam Ambassador.”

Jared confesses “I’m a bit jealous! And here I thought I would be considered to be his second in command.”

“Well her wolf is bigger than both of our’s. Almost the size of Sam’s.” Argued Paul as he smiles at the even more perplexed expression you had. “He takes what you think into consideration. Sam trusts you and your judgement.”

Your face heats up and you look anywhere but at them. “You guys-“

The front door opens once again and it’s Sam returning from wherever he had been. “Make some room. I’ve called another pack meeting.”

Your trio groans. And here you thought the tedious pack meetings were all but over after Victoria.

Tomorrow, everyone would meet at the borderline, meeting in the middle of their neighboring domains. A familiar grip of anxiety twisted inside of you. Thinking of another battle both terrified and. . . And thrilled you. Your wolf raged in delight of the idea. Snapping more vampire necks. So easy you had done it with your strong jaws. Your heart raced at the memories.

Violence you had never known before. . .

Puffing out a sigh into the night, you walk the quiet road by yourself back to your house. Out here there were no street lights to guide you home. That was okay. Even before you had phased, you had never been afraid to walk alone in the dark.You had always felt safe with the stars as your guardians.

Nights in La Push were beautiful and you enjoyed the solitary walk home. Gentle and caressing, a small gust of wind curls around your arms and tickles at your hair. Odd though, in that breeze you picked up the pungent scent of cinnamon and other spices that tickled your sensitive nose.

Then you heard it. Feet scuffling against the dirt behind you.

Jerking around, a cloaked figure of a woman is standing behind you. “Your blood led me here.” She rips off her hood and you see her face. Young, but not as young as you were, her green eyes contrast greatly with her tanned skin. “Found it in my sister’s home. Along with the corpse of that damn lechuza.”

Every muscle in your body was taut and ready to explode into your fur. “What do you want?”

“I am Letizia’s sister, Evita. She was killed by the lechuza, that abomination with a face of an owl.” Evita stops a few feet away from you. “I came to thank you.”

——————————

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#edward cullen #edward cullen fanfic #edward cullen fanfiction #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen x you #twilight #twilight saga #twilight fanfiction #twilight fandom

[bigbelsammy]

I’m massive

It all started about 7 months ago. It was so sudden too! This 6’7 guy and I hooked up at a party in college, after a hot night of sex with petty much a giant I never saw him again. This asshole…. After a month or so I realized my period was late. It’s never late. I went directly to the nearest pharmacy. I was so nervous that I had to stop for some fast food. What kind? The greasiest, most filling, most oily burgers In town. Either way, I bought a pregnancy test and sure enough.. I was pregnant… me, Tiffany… the 4’9 girl with black hair, always dressed in nice cardigans and tank tops, with jeans and my books in my hands. I was pregnant with the baby of a 6’7 giant dude… who knows what kind of bay he was!! I was so sure I was gonna become huge! This guy was probably some sort of 15lbs mega baby! And now I’m growing his offspring inside me! it was surreal! What was the next thing I did? I ordered a pizza, an Xlarge extra cheese extra peperoni pizza to go for myself. I tend to eat a lot in stressful situations and I knew this was not gonna be easy.

I called my bestie, jessie. For all I knew she was the only person there for me now

“Hey jessie…”

“Hey tiff, what’s up?”

“Can we... meet up at my house? I gotta tell you something.”

“Sure sweetie, Ill be there at 6 after work”

What was I going to do! I drove home and simply sat on the couch while eating my pizza. I kept thinking about this super baby growing inside me… oh fuck what if it was twins!!!! Can I even carry 2 15-pound babies!?

The thoughts kept racing through my head and I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.. I’m 4’9! I’m gonna look huge before my third trimester! What the hell!

As I finished the pizza, the door rang. It was jessie. I got up from my seat, I was stuffed at the time I remember. Every thought in my mind was pointing at the fact that I’m gonna become huge

“j-jessie..”

“tiff what’s wrong? You’re scaring me”

“come on in..”

We both sat on the couch, and I had in my hand the pregnancy test and showed it to her

“omg sweetie! You’re pregnant?!”

“y-yeah…”

“who’s the father?”

“remember Sean? The guy I hooked up last month with?”

“the giant dude? The one that could probably pick you up with his hands?”

“yeah….”

“omg…. Well..holy… shit…”

I nodded, she’s right… I don’t even know if I’ll b able to birth them properly! They might have to open me. Although there is something I won’t be able to deny for long. I’m about to get absolutely massive.

I didn’t even know how I was gonna deal with it. And what if they were twins?! What would happen if I was growing this giant’s super babies?! Fuck!! I’m only a short girl!

My fear wasn’t without reason, the next few weeks I noticed my bump growing, and not at a slow rate. After only 3 weeks I was already showing a small bump. When I went for my first ultra sound after only 2 months, I was already having trouble fitting in my clothes. The baby inside me kept me constantly hungry too so eating was a must. I probably kept stuffing myself for those 2 months every day. I know more than half of the weight I put on was not baby weight.

“nnnngh!! Get. Pass. My. Giant. Butt you stupid jeans!!! Nnghphh…” getting my favorites jeans to fit was a constant struggle, my thighs had become huge. A single one was as thick as both my skinny thighs together.

“come onnnnnnn… why won’t this shirt cover me!!!” my belly was getting amazingly big every day. My shirts were barely able to cover me past my belly button and still my underbelly would be in the wide open. I was fast becoming a pregnant cow eating a sandwich while waddling down the street.

My second ultra sound was the big one. It’s where I found out something I was suspecting after a few months.

“good afternoon miss… Wolfson? That’s a peculiar name..”

“it’s a made up name doc… I changed it..”

“oh that explains it.. well how is momma-to-be today?”

“massive..”

“I can see that and I can see you’re only 3 months in? it’s certainly normal to be your size when you have multiples, specially if you’ve been eating”

“wait… multiples?” I didn’t know what he meant by that! How can I carry more than one 15lbs baby?!

“sure! You didn’t think you were only having one did you? Let me get the machine set up” he moved around the bed getting the ultrasound machine and using the probe to rub this gel on my tum. My belly button was already having a hard time being shallow, soon it would pop. But what worried me were my boobs who went from a b cup all the way to a double D after only 4 months. Still my belly was the one thing that was big enough to cover my feet eliminating any hope I would see them again.

As he used the probe moving it around an image started appearing.

“there I see one head…. 2…”

“2?! Doc are you sure?”

“oh yes and.. oh? Look number 3!”

“3?! Doc I can’t ne carrying three babies!”

“no you’re right because I’m seeing baby number 4 right there”

4!!! 4 babies! Four massive babies growing inside my 4’9 body!! How the hell! He must have had some super sperm or something! Because ain’t no way I was carrying 4 over developed babies!

“d-doc… are you sure?”

“yeah and I think that’s it. Well given your condition you’re gonna have to go into a strict diet and make sure your babies are well fed. At the end of the line you might have to adjust your house or apartment If you don’t have a nurse in order to move around. It can certainly be a challenge and you will most likely be bed bound by the end of it. So please do take necessary precautions to prevent anything from happening”

I could not believe it… I was carrying 4… and not from some skinny 5’7 guy, these were from a 6’7 massive dude that I could tell he was some sort of mutant super baby! And I’m carrying 4 of him!

I immediately went to the first fast food place I could find and ordered 5 of the biggest burger meals they had. Why? Because I need to eat!

My belly was already massive I front of me, but as I ate my belly button started to show up, my shirt riding over it and people just staring. I guess it’s not everyday you see a super pregnant girl eat in public like this.

the more the months passed, the more I grew not only my bump but I also started getting fatter. Way fatter than what I should be. My arms started developing fat around them, my thighs and ass grew and grew more but my belly stuck out so far in front of my it rubbed against the steering wheel of my car every time I drove. It was also getting hard getting through door frames. The skinny 4’9 girl soon became a 300lbs brood mother carrying 60lbs of pure babies.

At my 7 month, it was already getting hard enough to walk around at all. My bump towered over me each morning. All I could see was this mountain of flesh on top of me, my boobs almost smothered me in my sleep. I could not see them but I could tell I started leaking a lot. Not only that but getting around my belly to satisfy my needs was getting to be a challenge too. I had to fit a remote-control vibrator to my bed and lay on it if I needed some release.

I went to see jessie on one occasion, she was so In love with this new form of mine every time we saw each other she would rub lotion on me and talk to my babies about anything.

“oh this one time, your mommy was at the gym and she had a treadmill running competition, she ran 25km in less time that it takes you guys to kick~”

“jessie.. please don’t make them kick… they get rowdy when they start.. and it’s uncomfortable”

“I know.. but I love seeing a kick here and there~…”

At that moment one of them kicked at the surface near my belly button where jessie was and her head went for a joy ride

“aaah!~ haiiii baby! It’s me, aunt jessie!!”

“uuugh…. i.. I think I should be going..”

“okay, just take care of the babies please~”

As I got to the door I notice how close I was to the frame, my figure could barely pass through it. It’s… fuck it’s amazing.

I got into my car, sliding the seat as far back as I could and still my belly was touching the steering wheel. Driving like this was pretty uncomfortable but there was a certain kinky element to it. In the last ew months as I kept growing I’ve been getting more and more in love with my own figure. Every bite, every inconvenience like reaching the top counter or squirming in bed to try and get up was such a turn on that I was staring to get horny at the littlest things.

When I got home I looked into my bag and the horror happened

“w-where are my keys?! D-did I leave them at jessie? i… I don’t wanna drive all the way back, she would probably keep me there another hour…”

In a panic I looked around and saw that my window was open, so I jumped (“jumped”) the bush, waddled myself to my window and opened it. I threw in my purse first with my phone in it. Then as quicky as I got the idea I also did the brilliant thing of trying to get through the window. Yeah, massive quad girl with 350lbs of blubber which 75lbs were just baby was trying to get through a window. That would obviously work (sarcasm)

“nnngh.. c-come on!!! Hhhmpppfff!! Nnngh aaaah!! Get through dammit!!” I kept pulling myself through and I probably should not have done it because eventually… I got stuck…

“aaaumpf!!! G-get assed it come one!! Nnnghpppppppffff aaaha!! Nnngh!” my belly was in all display trying to get through. My ass was sticking through my jeans more than any other time and I could tell my neighbours were looking at me.

Suddenly my babies inside me started shifting, as if they knew mommy needed to squeeze through

“aammmmpppff.. mmmmphph t-that’s it babies.. aahaa.. f-fuck stop moving that much!” the moves and kicks did turn me on severely, so much that if someone passed by and saw my ass sticking out, decide to have their way with me? I would probably beg for it.

“nnnnnngh.. o-okay almost there.. mmmmmmpphh… aaha gggggrrrrrnnnnn”

And just like that the movement inside me was enough to get me passed the tight window. When I did get inside I was so damm horny I desperately tried to get my hands down there. The first thing I did was head straight to the fridge, get something to drink like a weight shake and laid on bed right on top of the vibrator. I hoped to fuck it had batteries because I was not getting up anymore… in fact.. I don’t think I would be able to in about a week..

A request I’ve been meaning to write but never found the time for it. Here it is and I hope you all enjoy it

#thesamwriting #bellyexpansion #multiples pregnancy #pregnantinplaid

[kiki-de-la-petite-flaque]

Enjoy this beautiful letter from Fiona Apple explaining to her fans why she must postpone a concert date.

It's 6pm on Friday, and I'm writing to a few thousand friends I have not met yet. I'm writing to ask them to change our plans and meet a little while later.

Here's the thing.

I have a dog, Janet, and she's been ill for about 2 years now, as a tumor has been idling in her chest, growing ever so slowly. She's almost 14 years old now. I got her when she was 4 months old. I was 21 then — an adult, officially — and she was my kid.

She is a pitbull, and was found in Echo Park, with a rope around her neck, and bites all over her ears and face.

She was the one the dogfighters used to puff up the confidence of the contenders.

She's almost 14 and I've never seen her start a fight, bite, or even growl, so I can understand why they chose her for that awful role. She's a pacifist.

Janet has been the most consistent relationship of my adult life, and that is just a fact. We've lived in numerous houses and joined a few makeshift families, but it's always really been just the two of us.

She slept in bed with me, her head on the pillow, and she accepted my hysterical, tearful face into her chest, with her paws around me, every time I was heartbroken, or spirit-broken, or just lost, and as years went by, she let me take the role of her child, as I fell asleep, with her chin resting above my head.

She was under the piano when I wrote songs, barked any time I tried to record anything, and she was in the studio with me, all the time we recorded the last album.

The last time I came back from tour, she was spry as ever, and she's used to me being gone for a few weeks, every 6 or 7 years.

She has Addison's Disease, which makes it more dangerous for her to travel since she needs regular injections of Cortisol because she reacts to stress and excitement without the physiological tools that keep most of us from literally panicking to death.

Despite all this, she's effortlessly joyful & playful and only stopped acting like a puppy about 3 years ago. She is my best friend, my mother, my daughter, my benefactor, and she's the one who taught me what love is.

I can't come to South America. Not now. When I got back from the last leg of the US tour, there was a big, big difference.

She doesn't even want to go for walks anymore.

I know that she's not sad about aging or dying. Animals have a survival instinct, but a sense of mortality and vanity, they do not. That's why they are so much more present than people.

But I know she is coming close to the time when she will stop being a dog, and start instead to be part of everything. She'll be in the wind, and in the soil, and the snow, and in me, wherever I go.

I just can't leave her now, please understand. If I go away again, I'm afraid she'll die and I won't have the honor of singing her to sleep, of escorting her out.

Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes just to decide what socks to wear to bed.

But this decision is instant.

These are the choices we make, which define us. I will not be the woman who puts her career ahead of love & friendship.

I am the woman who stays home, baking Tilapia for my dearest, oldest friend. And helps her be comfortable & comforted & safe & important.

Many of us these days, dread the death of a loved one. It is the ugly truth of Life that keeps us feeling terrified & alone. I wish we could also appreciate the time that lies right beside the end of time. I know that I will feel the most overwhelming knowledge of her, of her life, and of my love for her, in the last moments.

I need to do my damnedest, to be there for that.

Because it will be the most beautiful, the most intense, the most enriching experience of life I've ever known.

When she dies.

So I am staying home, and I am listening to her snore and wheeze, and I am reveling in the swampiest, most awful breath that ever emanated from an angel. And I'm asking for your blessing.

I'll be seeing you.

Love,

Fiona

#fiona apple

[szalonykasztan00]

ACOTAR BOOK 1 Slut-shaming scene in cottage.

Sorry for mistakes English is not my first language.

We on the Internet talked already about slut-shaming scene in cottage in ACOTAR. That happened between Feyre and Nesta. In the context of Nesta being assaulted by Thomas, cultural prejudice put in Nesta by their mother and grandmother, just being mean and not konowing how to have a healthy, normal  conversation.

I want to present (I hope) a new view of that scene.

We all know that both of Archeron's sisters can’t really talk about a sensitive topic. They assume a lot and react with anger and hurtful words (the intensity of it depends on the sister). So, we can assume that:

Feyre PROBOBLLY never got THE talk about birds and bees. That includes all forms of contraception and how to prevent pregnancy. 

Nesta didn’t do it. Her or Feyre would mentioned if that would heppend  because it most likely would be a disaster. And their father is in that scene embarrassed enough for Feyre to really notice it, so he as well is out. And Elain is well…. Let’s say that she probably wasn’t the One to take that responsibility on her.

We know she knows the basic mechanics because she had sex and live in the proximity of farms and forests. Which means animals having sex. But she never in her internal monologue think about contraception or pregnancy in general. (At least I didn’t spot it. If I’m wrong, please let me know) + look how fast she falls pregnant with Rhysand.

That post a question what if Feyre would fall pregnant with Isaac Hale? What are her options and consequences for everyone involved?

1.      Both we and Feyre and Nesta know that Isaac is not going to marry her. Either because of his parents or it will be his decision. So that option is out.

2.      She may have an abortion but:

A)     Would she want to have one?

B)     Could they can afford one?

C)     Do Isaac and his family sponsor one?

3.      If Feyre kept the baby would Isaac and his family help Archeron somehow? Would Archerons take the help?

4.      Feyre is only or primary breadwinner of the family. What will happen if she, for at least 3 to 4 months, can’t hunt? (let’s say from 5 or 6 months of her pregnancy, at best) We are not counting the months or weeks that would take her to go back to full health AFETR childbirth.

5.      They can’t afford a doctor or midwife. We don’t know ANYTHING important about their relationship with other women in the village so we can’t know if they would want to help. (If the Archerons would even ask for that help or take one that would be offered?) But what if Feyre dies or is seriously hurt from pregnancy and childbirth?

6.      What if Feyre has a miscarriage or stillbirth? What would be the impact of that on her body and mind?

7.      If Feyre delivers a healthy baby that another mouth to feed, right? And for 1 or 0,5 years, she needs to be almost always at home. Just for feeding. So again, no hunting in full ability.

8.      Who going to care for that baby when Feyra hunts? Change diapers (and that are the old diapers that must be washed, boil and ironed), look for the baby, play with it, stay up late because they have colic or the first teeth etc. A disabled father that doesn't care for his own daughters, much less his potential grandchild? Elain that in Feyre's eyes is more or less still a baby herself? Nesta? That will probably feel in that moment like Feyre is dumping on her the consequences of her reckless behaviours.

9.      They would need to have a baby staff cradle, diapers, clothes, toys, and food. So, the need to buy either the things or materials for it-- so money.

10.   Children especially young can be sickly. Would they be able to afford doctors and medicine for them? And that assuming that that child would not have a chronic illness or some form of congenital disability etc.

11.   And I'm not even starting on marriage prospects for sisters and the potential social consequences of that for everyone.

Feyras pregnacy would be economic disaster for Archerons.

So my theory is that in that scene, for Nesta could be as much about their survival in case of Feyra geting pregnant as it was for biting back at Feyre for comments on Thomas, cultural prejudice put in Nesta by their mother and grandmother, just being mean and not konowing how to have a healthy, normal  conversation.

But what are you thinking?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Special ask to :

@nestaismommy

@astrababyy

@ae-neon

@acotardeservesbetter

I most often see your posts with analysis and thoughts on acotar series so I tag you all. (I love them btw)

#anti sjm #sjm critical #anti acotar #feyre archeron #feyre acotar #nesta archeron #nesta acotar #nesta and feyre #elain acotar #elain archeron #archeron sisters #mama archeron #papa archeron #acotar analysis

[spiderrrling]

Living After Midnight Chapter 3 (Eddie Munson x F!Carver!Reader)

Pairing - Eddie Munson x F!Carver! Reader

Word Count - 3.6k

Warnings - None, just an unbetaed chapter

A/N - yeahh this is a proper series now, itll keep updating on Thursdays and will be about 6 ish parts long? that might change, i just really like these two and ill keep writing it until i finish their story

Masterlist | Taglist

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

Summer of 85...

The intense blaring Indiana July heat had finally arrived, the kind that made the asphalt bake and hair stick to the skin with sweat. Unpleasant for everyone involved. She had planned to spend her summer hiding away in Bauman’s books, the tiniest little bookstore tucked away in the back of Starcourt Mall.

She really enjoyed the company of books and on slow days she could hide behind the register reading. And, if she was really lucky, Robbin would bring over ice cream at the end of her shift and they would sit and people watch. It was simple, easy, and a good plan that she hoped would work out in her favour by the end of the summer.

But as always, life had other plans. It was the middle of June and school had just been out for a couple of weeks, and she was fully enjoying having two months before she inevitably had to enter her senior year at Hawkins High, when someone she didn’t expect walked through the doors to Bauman’s Books.

The soon to be three time repeating high school senior, the familiar stranger Eddie Munson. Who was somehow surviving the Indiana heat beneath his leather jacket and denim vest, with his messy curly hair hanging around his shoulders.

She knew Eddie Munson, well she knew of Eddie Munson. It was difficult to not know someone in a town as small as Hawkins, but it was exceptionally difficult not to know who Eddie was. He was infamous around Hawkins High and around town. He ran what had practically become the school's club for outcasts and nerds, the Hellfire Club.

But she didn’t really know Eddie Munson, she only thought who she was through the perceived image of him from others with peering eyes.

He strode into the small bookstore not saying anything, instead he headed for their small and limited game selection and carefully scanned the shelves, disregarding what he would have called cheap party games.

She tried to ignore him, to act as normal as possible but her eyes kept daring over the edge of the book she was reading to look at him as he flipped through a couple of adventure books with his brows knit tightly together.

With a dissatisfied sigh Eddie walked over to the desk and she pretended to be surprised as he did. “Can you order books? To here?”

“Sorry?” If she was being honest, she had been a little lost in thought looking at him and hadn’t fully heard what he said, but her response did seem to make him smile. “If there is a book I want, can I order it to here?”

“Yes! We should be able to do that for  you, is there anything in particular you are looking for?”

“Lore and Legends, its the new Dungeons and Dragons manual.” Eddie seemed almost a little shy to admit that so openly to her. But she simply picked up a pen and noted down his request. “An order can take anywhere between a week and a month to arrive, if you put down your contact information we can notify you when your book arrives.” She explained to him, and he seemed to be hanging onto every word that left her mouth.

“I’ll just come by.” He simply said and nodded. She was a little puzzled by his response and wasn’t sure what he had meant at first, but he just flashed her a smile and disappeared out the door and into the rest of the mall.

That had been what she labelled Day 1

On Day 3 Eddie had returned to the store, but he didn’t waste any time scanning the shelves this time, instead he walked straight up to the register to ask if the book had arrived. It hadn’t.

“Between a week and a month, do you want to leave  your contact information with us?” She asked him again. He gave her a curt no and walked back out of the store.

Then on Day 5 he returned again, this time he had his own book tucked under his arm. “Got anything for me today?” His eyes almost seemed to light up a little as he talked to her. “Nothing yet. But you do know they say patience is a virtue right?”

Eddie responded with a dramatic frown. “Contact information?” She asked for a third time.

“You know, I’m starting to think you just want my number.” He laughed and she couldn’t stop herself from blushing a little bit. “If you want it, you can just ask.”

“I believe I have asked.” That only made Eddie laugh more, this time he gave her a quick goodbye before he headed out the door.

Eddie returned again the next day on Day 6, the same book in his hands as the day before. This time she simply shook her head the second he walked into the store and made eye contact with her. In return Eddie dramatically pretended to swoon. “I’m going to go crazy waiting for this book you know.”

And then he did something she never expected him to, he jumped up on the counter.

“Ok if I stay?” To which she couldn’t bring herself to say no, besides she had come to like their small banter more and more.

And it continued like that for the next coming days, Eddie would walk into the store, and then he wouldn’t leave. Spending his afternoons and sometimes mornings in what others would call a daft little bookshop. Eddie quickly became a patron of Bauman’s Books.

And slowly their small pieces of banter changed into friendly conversation, he’d ask her about the book she was reading and he would patiently sit and listen as she talked about it. Or he’d ask her about which book she would read next and they’d spend what seemed like hours walking amongst the books discussing them. And at times, if she got lucky she would get to hear him talk about his plans for upcoming dungeons and dragons adventures, it was actually quite fascinating.

It didn’t take long before she found herself looking forward to her shifts and hoping Eddie would show up, she would feel her heart skip a beat when she heard the entry bell ring hoping it would be him.

As the days ticked by she got more and more excited for her shifts, starting to look forward to them, hoping that Eddie would stop by and spend more time in the store. There was something about him, the way he carried himself or the way he spoke had her developing a little crush.

However, the end of Day 14 arrived and Eddie hadn’t been by. He had stopped by every single day for the past week and they had formed some sort of companionship, where she found herself really enjoying being around him.

Yet, six hours later she had been sitting in the bookstore, a little ashamed she had agreed to cover Abby’s shift just in case Eddie would show up early, and yet he was nowhere to be seen.

Feeling a pang of disappointment ringing through her, it was clear he didn’t think about her or their friendship the same way she thought about him, and this just proved it. But maybe it was for the best she thought, having this wakeup call now and not later.

The mall was slowly becoming void of customers as it crept closer to closing time, and she decided it was time to close up the store. Her back was turned to the door as she heard the little bell ding.

“Sorry we are-” Closed, she was about to say closed. But as she turned around Eddie stood in the doorway to the store. And she couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence. His curly hair was a mess and it looked like he had just woken up and ran all the way there. But he was also soaking wet and his hair was sticking to his face.

“Sorry I’m late sweetheart, have you seen the storm outside?” Storm? When she arrived that morning the skies seemed clear but she hadn’t been outside since then so she simply shook her head. The way he used the pet name so casually made that pit of anxiety in her stomach both ease up and clench tighter. “Got anything for me?”

“No, not yet but it should be any day now.” She was totally and utterly distracted. He did show up, after all even if it was during closing he was still there now leaning against the counter looking at her with his big brown eyes that she couldn’t look at for too long or she would drown in them.

“Well, mind if I stay here? It beats the weather outside.” Eddie flashed her that smile that made her a little weak in the knees. “Only if you help me close up.”

And he did, no questions or complaints. Or rather, lots of questions but no complaints. Eddie helped her pull down the shutters covering the front of the store and she locked up. “Thank you.” She smiled his way and toyed with the keys in her hand.

As they headed outside they could see the storm had picked up a lot and it was properly storming. The rain was coming down hard and soaking the streets with water.

“Will you get home all right?”

“Yeah, I have my bike so I should be fine.”

“A bike?” He raised an eyebrow at her questioningly. “You plan to bike in this weather? Absolutely not.” Eddie insisted on the matter. “I’ll give you a lift home, its not a big deal. Get your bile and I’ll pull up the van.” He said and ran off into the rain soaked parking lot before she could argue with him.

Besides she wasn’t sure if she wanted to argue with him, it meant more time spent with him, in his car.

“You don’t have to do this, you know.” She tried to change his mind, now a little terrified to get into his car with him. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll get soaked, and the roads are slippery.” Eddie shook his head and proceeded to take her bike from her. “You know, this really is just a safety precaution.” He laughed as he loaded her bike into the back of his van. 

“If you go missing, then who is going to give me my Legends and Lore book? Or recommend new books to me when I run out?” Eddie spoke as they both got into his car, and she slid into the passenger side and bucked in her seatbelt. The rain was properly drumming down against the windshield and it was almost difficult to see outside.

She looked around the car trying not to be obvious. If she was being honest the car was a mess, but in a charming way. She could spot at least three books in the back of the van along with a blanket and some pillows. Along with a heap of empty cans and food wrappers. And by her feet laid an open shoe box stuffed to the brim with cassette tapes. Scanning the titles she could see some of them were albums or collections, but some were mixtapes by Eddie’s own making, and she immediately became curious as to what could be on them.

“One of the other sales assistants I suppose.” She looked over at him, but his eyes were completely focused on the road as he drove, his hands wrapped tightly around the steering wheel. “No, it wouldn’t be the same thing.”

“When do you work tomorrow?” Eddie had parked outside her house and finally turned to look at her, leaning in just a little bit. “Afternoon, from five until closing.” She responded.

“Good.” He flashed her that same grin as before and there was a brief moment where it looked like he was about to lean in further and kissed her, his eyes fixated on her lips for just a brief moment. But of course he didn’t.

Eddie simply helped unload her bike, the rain soaking both of them, turning their hair sticky and shirts clammy, but neither of them cared. Eddie didn’t drive off until after he saw she had gotten safely into the house.

Five P.M the next day rolled around and she was clocked in and ready for her shift.

The shiny new cover of Lore and Legends peeked out from beneath the counter, Paul had done inventory during the morning shift, and it had finally arrived.

The only reason why Eddie came by the bookstore every afternoon. She did consider hiding the book for a second, just so she could prolong his visits by a little bit. But some part of her also wanted to see how he would react when the book finally arrived.

And then the nervous wait began, the seconds ticking by so slowly. There were only a few customers in the store that she spent time tidying her over as she waited.

She was sitting behind the counter as he walked in, a grin plastered to his face as he saw her and she couldn’t help but return it. She was happy to see him, even though it would be bitter sweet.

“Are you ready?” She asked and he stopped dead in his tracks looking at her with wide eyes and slowly nodding, not fully sure what she meant. She reached beneath the counter and pulled out the book, proudly presenting it to him with a smile.

Never in her life had she seen someone so excited, running up to the counter and taking the book from her hands, turning it over to admire the cover. His excitement had rubbed off on her and she couldn’t help but also be thrilled on his behalf it had arrived.

Eddie quickly paid for the book, but instead of leaving he opened up his new book and pulled out a pen, ready to start taking his notes as she ran around the store helping the other customers. But as long as she was there he struggled to focus on creating a new campaign.

His eyes kept wandering from the page to find her standing talking to a customer. He so admired that spark she got in her eyes when she lost herself to her thoughts and ideas. When she got so enraptured with what she was talking about it was impossible for him to look away.

The end of her shift finally came up and she was exhausted, the storm from last night had cleared and the blue summer sky had made its return, along with the heat. The air was now humid and clammy from the rain.

She had noticed Eddie had left at some point, he hadn’t even said goodbye this time. She gave Abby a quick goodbye and she started heading home for the day. 

But before she could make it out of the mall someone yelling her name caught her attention.

"Hey! Wait up!" Her head turned at the familiar voice and soon she was face to face with a familiar curly haired boy. His notebooks and new manual tucked beneath his arm. He had stayed? He must have seen the confusion on her face and laughed. "I couldn't focus in there, too many people."

She was still too stunned to speak, not knowing what she should say. "Why am I here?" She nodded slowly in response to his words. "What are you doing now?"

"Now?" 

"Now." 

"Nothing?" Her answer sounded more like a question than an answer. "Good." 

Eddie broke out in a massive smile. "I have something I want to show you, come with me?" Eddie said and offered up his hand to her, and before she could second guess herself she took it.

She had imagined holding Eddie's hand more times than she could count at this point. But actually holding his hand was totally different to anything she could have pictured. His hands were rough and calloused from years of playing guitar, and they were bigger than she expected.

Eddie was practically pulling her along out of the mall and to his van. It had been less than twenty four hours since she was in his car last, but it looked completely different. She could tell he had cleaned it out.

"And you're not kidnapping me?" She looked over at where he was sitting, she had no idea what was going on and it felt surreal. "No promises." Eddie winked and started the car.

She kept quickly glancing over at him as he drove, trying to figure out where he was taking her. 

“Ok great, I am being kidnapped by Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson, this is not how I expected my day to go.” She laughed as Eddie turned into a little dirt road and he laughed in response. Even though Hawkins was a small town, there were always places to hide away, new locations to discover to disappear.

When Eddie finally stopped the car, she realised they were standing at the base of Weathertop Mountain. "Come on." Eddie jumped out of the car, running around to the other side to help her down.

The hot summer air had cooled off for the night and turned sweet as she stepped out of the car. The night sky slowly painted various shades of reds, pinks and oranges as the sun started to set.

“Did you bring me out here just to hike up a mountain?” Eddie nodded slowly and offered his hand out to her as they began walking. “Just trust me will you.” He said and rolled his eyes at her jokingly. 

They walked in silence for a bit, seeing the night sky slowly being pulled over Hawkins once more. Eddie’s hand didn’t leave hers. A shiver ran down her spine whenever she would feel his fingers brush up against her palm. Making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

“Do you actually think I’m a freak?” Eddie finally broke the silence between them and he turned to her as he asked the question. “Just you said it earlier in the car and I was wondering-”

“Well, you kinda seem to have been stalking me over the past two weeks.” She laughed quietly to herself. “But no, I don’t think you’re a freak.”

“What do you think of me then?”

“Of you?” Eddie hummed in response and she paused for a moment. Hesitating before she gave her answer. “I think you’re something special.”

“I can’t tell if you’re insulting or complimenting me, Carver.”

“I guess you’ll never know.”

They quipped back and forth between them as they hiked their way up the hill, the summer night air finally settling in. Making her shiver a little from the cold.

“So what are you so desperate to show me you’re having me hike this massive hill?”

“You’ll see, patience we’re almost there.” She caught a glimpse of his eyes, they looked almost black in the dim night light. “And then you’ll understand why I made you hike all the way up here.”

Finally they reached the top of the hill, both of them slightly out of breath from the long hike. He was still holding her hand in his and she had to desperately resist the temptation to lace her fingers with his. Desperately wanting to feel his fingers intertwined with hers.

“So what is it you’re so serious about showing me.” They stood so close she could hear his breaths and feel the heat radiating off him. Eddie’s eyes met hers and with the hand not holding hers he pointed upwards before lifting his hand further to tilt her chin slightly upwards, making her eyes leave his.

And that's when she saw it, the starry night sky above them was absolutely breathtaking. They were far away from the rest of town so that the sky wasn’t disrupted by the light pollution. She could see the stars so clearly from where she was standing.

Constellations mapped out against the dark blue backdrop, just gently illuminating the night. The moon was hanging low in the sky, not quite full but still breathtaking.

It took her a couple of moments to notice that while she was staring up at the night sky, he was looking directly at her. She met his eyes once more and time seemed to still as they stood there below the night sky.

“So is this what you wanted to show me?” Eddie nodded slowly as she spoke. “Most beautiful view in all of Hawkins”

“Eddie?”

“Yeah?” 

“You’re looking at me when you say that.”

“Yeah.” 

And with that Eddie leaned in and closed the short distance between them, his hand still on her chin tipping her head back ever so slightly so his lips could meet hers. It was a gentle kiss, his lips barely brushing over hers, worried that if he did too much he would ruin the moment.

That had been the first time he had kissed her. She tried to keep count, but that didn’t last more than a couple of days before it became impossible.

They stayed up on that hill for hours, exchanging laughs and kisses beneath the stars. Sitting in the slightly damp grass as they fully enjoyed each other's company in private for the first time.

And still, the very next day. Eddie came strolling through the entrance to the little bookstore tucked away in the back of Starcourt mall.

“What, I can’t visit my favourite bookseller anymore? Eddie faked hurt for a moment before he strolled over to the register where she was standing. "I cannot believe this, guess I'll just have to place another order so you'll continue to accept my company."

"Yeah, will you be leaving your phone number with us this time?" She quipped back at him as he jumped up to sit on the counter and Eddie simply laughed at her comment. "Fair play, fair play."

Tag list - @pastel-abyss-x @fayetheenthusiast @obi-wanakenobi  @starbemo @chloebeansack @a-villain-vying-for-attention @meaganjm​ @xbreezymeadowsx @prettytoxix @magicalxdaydream @emmaginanni @ghoulsgon3wild-blograveyard @kaydencegilr0y @eateraa @munchabunch @eddie-munsons-girlfriend @emmaginanni @chloebeansack @satorix

Mutuals (let me know if you dont wanna be tagged) - @uglypastels @catparkers @thisishellfire @eddiemunsonsthrone

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie muntion x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson headcanons #eddie the freak munson #stranger things #stranger things season 4 #eddie munson angst #angst #fluff #friends to lovers

[jakekiszkasleftnutsack]

Don’t Talk to Strangers

Jake Kiszka x f!reader

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Summary: It’s been five months since your particularly rough split from your ex, it’s time to open up and get back into the dating scene.  Take a chance on the intimidating stranger in the bar.  It won’t backfire at all. 

Warnings: 18+ GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT, mentions of mental illness and emotional trauma, manipulation, alcohol consumption, swearing, exhibitionism, unprotected sex (don’t!), oral sex (m and f receiving), degradation, bondage, impact play, overstimulation

W/c: 8.3k

A/n:  In honor of the Omaha show, I’ve decided to make my triumphant return! know that this took a million years but I’ve been having a tough time mentally and that’s made it hard to write, but now I’m back!! This version of dom!Jake is the only thing that made it through the fog, even if he’s not for everyone.  We are shamelessly self-indulgent yet again, so sorry if not everything resonates with you!  Thanks for bearing with me and thanks to everyone that’s been supportive and contributed!  All feedback is appreciated! 

Edited by @whatsonott

Theme Song: Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge

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A dark bar isn’t the kind of place you’d pick for a first date, especially not a blind date. You would be much more comfortable going to a nice dinner, grabbing a cup of coffee, or really anything that could be done in broad daylight would be closer to your wheelhouse. You’d prefer to keep things easy and casual when dating a new person, but you let your date pick the place as an effort to force yourself out of your shell.  

This was a dumb idea, you think, trying to ignore the churning in your guts as you lock your car and approach the nightclub, heels clicking against the pavement. 

You need this. Just keep telling yourself that and everything will turn out fine.

Anxiety is something you’ve been working on handling with your therapist since your breakup a few months ago, as it’s become a prominent part of everything you do. It’s been instilled in your thoughts by your ex, who would constantly tell you how you could afford to go to the gym more or be a little more like some of his friends' girlfriends.  

You tried your best to change yourself for him and fit the mold he wanted you to contort yourself into, but it was never enough for him. It didn’t surprise you when you found out he was sleeping with someone else, and it created a mountain of self-doubt standing between you and your apartment doorway every time you tried to meet your friends for a drink or enjoy the things you used to love doing. 

Before your ex, you were the belle of the ball in bars just like this one. Almost every weekend you had mediocre men begging to buy you drinks late into the night. Being on your own again, it’s not been so simple. Staying out until 2 am, flirting with strangers, the thrill of the chase, that’s a thing of the past. In fact, not one man has made it into your bed since the last time you and your ex messed around. 

Why you put up with his shit for so long, letting him keep you from living your life how you wanted is still a mystery to this day. He really was sweet and charming in the beginning, but most narcissists are. They lure you in with what you want to see and feel. Then once you are comfortable, start to manipulate your feelings and every aspect of your life. Leaving you feeling hopeless if they were ever to leave you because that’s what they’ve trained you to feel. Or at least, that’s what you’ve learned in the five months since you left him. You’ve been coming to terms with the fact that seeing him between another woman’s legs was the push you needed to get rid of him, traumatic as it was. Coming out from the misery of living in his shadow is more than liberating. 

The last couple of weeks have been all about going with the flow, as an assignment from your therapist. She told you to live in the moment, don’t take things so seriously, and let life happen like you used to. Emerging from the misery of living in his shadow is more than liberating, but easier said than done. You’ve taken every opportunity you can find to take a step slightly outside of your comfort zone and only hated it about half the time, only to be fantasizing over glimpses of your previously joyful self. A blind date is the kind of thing that the old y/n wouldn’t so much as bat an eye at, so agreeing to it seemed like no big deal in hindsight. Even now, perched on a barstool in a tight little dress you’ve always told yourself you don’t have the body for, you feel stronger on your own than you ever did with your sad excuse of an ex. Which in the moment feels pretty fucking good, although you’re trying to keep yourself from visibly shaking with fear.

Progress is still progress, even if it is slow or doesn’t look like much from the outside. Wounds don’t heal overnight. 

You weren’t necessarily ready to start dating yet and this was just some random guy that your best friend thought would be perfect for you. Tonight's blind date is part of her long-winded plan to get you two together after she wore you down for weeks about accepting her proposal. Nevertheless, she’s proven to be trustworthy and a great judge of character, and she did try to ease your nerves by showing you his Facebook profile. He seemed decent enough, but nothing special.

Whether you wanted to admit it or not, you were lonely, sex-deprived and could use a quick fuck. Though your standards are the highest they’ve ever been since surviving the ghost of boyfriends past, you were becoming more and more desperate. So after going through all the worst-case scenarios in your head of potentially being rejected or kidnapped, you ultimately decided to give it a shot. What more could you lose? 

That’s how you wound up here, in a dark club on a Sunday night, where and when your date had suggested you meet up. Should have been the first red flag. 

In the ten minutes since you’d arrived, your date is yet to show his face.  The clock on your phone read 10:32 pm. You were even running a little late and had sent a text to let him know, assuming he was there and waiting for you already.  But there was no response. He hasn’t even read the message.

Maybe something happened? He probably walked in, saw me, and left. I knew this outfit looked fucking ridiculous on me. 

“What can I get you?” You snap your head to look in the direction of the voice startling you from your thoughts, but soften your expression when you realize it’s only a smiling bartender and not your very tardy potential hookup.  

“Vodka cranberry, please.” You smile politely. 

The bartender nods and turns to make your drink and you take this opportunity to look over the room. The bar is mostly dark, illuminated by a strobe light or two by the DJ booth and dim golden twinkling lights adorning the coves of tables that sit along the edges. Some sort of heavy psychedelic dance music bumps through the sea of bodies, moving them like a hive mind in sync with the rhythm. The atmosphere is euphoric, almost as if everyone there is sharing the same beautiful high. 

Glaring you in the face is the realization that everyone there is stunningly gorgeous and suddenly you feel severely out of place. 

Once the bartender hands you your drink, you take a sip and say a quick ‘thank you’ leaving a few crumpled bills on the bar. 

Your eyes hop from one large round booth to the next where fancy people are having intimate conversations at their secluded spots along the darkened back wall of the bar, while you are just searching for a familiar face. Hoping for a moment that maybe your date had snagged a quiet spot for the both of you before you arrived. Instead, your attention lands on one booth in particular where, if your eyes don't deceive you, the most beautiful man on earth is staring you down like you owe him money. In that moment, you are frozen, unable to move.

His eyes are narrowed and trained on you intently, despite having a scarcely dressed woman on either side of him. One slender blonde that’s much taller than him and one curvy brunette that seems to have her hand buried beneath the waistband of his pants. He’s not paying attention to them the slightest bit, despite how they’re hanging on him like Christmas ornaments.

It’s you that his eyes are piercing into, assaulting you in a way. His lashes fan as he looks you over, no doubt taking in all the little details. You can’t help the blush that creeps in when he lowers his gaze to your too short too tight dress and twists his lips into a leering side smile. You can feel the heat radiating in the apples of your cheeks, forcing you to turn away from the intensity of his stare.  

Why is he looking at me like that? 

Is it the outfit? Fuck, I knew I looked ridiculous…

Do I have something on my face? It has to be.. a man that gorgeous wouldn’t possibly look at me for any other reason. 

A glance in the mirror behind the bar quickly disproves your concern.  Perfect makeup and hair, just how you had left it. Though you curse your past self for going with such a painfully natural look since the social connotation that you prepared for has completely changed.

It was enough to catch his eye, so it’ll have to do.

I wonder if he’s still looking…

Curiosity always did get the best of you, just a quick peek in that general direction will ease your mind. Except when you shift your view from analyzing your own face to the direction of the man that piqued your interest, he is still looking, watching you as if he’s a predator stalking his prey. Your breathing is starting to pick up in pace and you notice a hint of nervous nausea making an appearance as anxiety takes its usual place in the pit of your stomach. With a gasp, you avert your eyes and look down at your drink, breaking free from the concrete grip he has on you.

I don’t get it.. Nobody’s ever looked at me like that… 

Maybe he’s making fun of me, this dress makes me look like I’m wrapped in fucking sausage casing.. No, y/n shut up you look hot, you can do this.

You can handle a hot guy, he’s just a guy. Turn around and look at him, it’s just a little eye contact. Deep breaths, it’s not like you haven’t done this before.  

Just look at him.

Looking meek or foolish is not on the agenda for today, you decide, while giving yourself the best possible pep talk you can. Somewhere deep inside you is enough gusto to pull on a mask of forced confidence. Like a mighty sword being unsheathed, ready to cut this man to ribbons with your raw, unabashed sex appeal.  

With any potential for embarrassment quietly ticked away for now, you polish off the remainder of your cocktail and turn around. His eyes haven’t left your figure though, and something makes you suspect they haven’t since you entered the building. This time, you stare back at him. Your shoulders are set down and back to ensure good posture, your legs are crossed, and you tilt your head to the side slightly, letting your hair fall in front of your shoulders. 

Now that you’re in full view of each other, it’s your turn to drink in his full appearance. He’s beautiful really, his long brunette tresses reach his shoulders, brushing against the dark blazer that fits him so well it might be tailor-made.  His white button-down barely peeks out from underneath, as it’s unbuttoned nearly to his navel. A few long necklaces lay against his bare chest, you can see them rise and fall with his breathing in his reclined, lax position. His pants are black and tight, and he’s wearing black leather Chelsea boots to finish the outfit. It’s safe to assume that he’s got a bit of money, he’s so polished and pristine, and it’s obvious he wants people to notice. Whatever he’s doing is working because, notice you do, and you can feel the unhinged thoughts rushing the floodgates of your mind. 

I bet he smells amazing.  

An image of yourself pressed up against a stall in the dingy bar bathroom with his lips attacking your neck quickly flashes through your mind. You shake the thought away and shift uncomfortably in your seat to offset the growing moisture in your panties.

Your eyes graze back up his tight little frame to intercept his line of sight, he’s wearing a devilishly smug smirk pointed in your direction. Something about his hungry stare makes it seem like he knows. It feels almost as if he knew exactly what you were thinking just now, and it makes you feel so vulnerable, so exposed, yet so needy. So much so that you almost don’t notice the side conversation he seems to be having with the blonde you had all but forgotten was there. She’s leaned in to hear him speak over the volume of the music, and though you’re nowhere near close enough to hear what he’s saying, you could watch his lips all night.

The woman at his side giggles and nods after he’s finished mumbling whatever it is he told her. It must have been fucking hilarious for her to be laughing so much, your eyes are already rolling before you can stop them.  

She gets up to exit the booth and he smacks her ass on her way out, which leaves a look of disdain on your face that you can’t quite disguise. You’ve never been jealous of a Malibu Barbie type before, but here you are wishing you were in her shoes anyway. Instead of heading in the direction of the exit, or even the bathroom, she starts walking directly toward you. 

Oh god, what the hell is this? Please don’t come over here, what if she’s coming to yell at me? Fuck I’m about to get bitch slapped in a bar.. 

“Hi!” She practically shouts in your face, way too chipper, and leans against the edge of the bar next to you before turning to the bartender. “One vodka cranberry.”

“Um, hello.” You don’t want to sound shaken while she orders the same drink as you, she could be very nice for all you know, but the broken nature of your greeting gives away everything you were trying to hide. Until now, she hadn’t even acknowledged your existence. Why would she though, since she was in the exact spot you wished you’d been in only minutes ago?

You glance back at the booth where she came from, the mystery man still observing this weird interaction over the edge of the glass he’s sipping from.  What you’re looking for from him, you’re not quite sure. Validation, answers, or anything at all, none of which are present in his dark stare.  

“Sorry if was bothering you guys, I didn’t mean to stare…” You mumble, turning your attention back to the blonde woman beside you.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. We’re just so sorry you got stood up, you look so sad by yourself over here.” She turns to face you flipping her hair over her shoulder, now holding the drink she ordered in her outstretched hand, offering it to you. Her voice is sickly sweet in a forced sort of way that makes you cringe.

“I’m sorry?” You ask, with an accusatory bite. 

Is it really that obvious? Shit, how pathetic could I possibly look..

“He wants you to come over to join him when you’re ready.” The ice in the glass clinks from side to side as she shakes it in front of your face, urging you to take it.

“That’s why your boyfriend has been eye fucking me all night? He wants me to join in your weird throuple?”  

“Oh, Jake’s not my boyfriend - and we’re not a throuple, he only asked for you.  Think of me sort of like a wingwoman” She half laughs in a sort of way that makes you feel as if you’re missing some obvious piece of vital information.  

“What about your friend who obviously thinks she’s getting lucky?” You gesture over to where the brunette is still feeling him up pretty excessively.

“I don’t know who that other girl is we just met her today, don’t worry about her though. I know it’s a lot but.. Just take the drink and go say hi, it’ll be more than worth your while.”

“So this Jake… he sends you over to buy my drink for me in hopes of.. what? So you can deliver me on a silver platter while he uses some poor girl in the same situation I am?” You scoff, in disbelief.

What the fuck? What an incredibly misogynistic asshole…

You can’t help but imagine what it would be like in the shoes of these other women waiting on him hand and foot just to be tossed aside. Even more unwelcome in your mind is the reminder that your ex was a manipulator, maybe a little worse than the likes of Jake, but a manipulator all the same. Complete with ego and entitlement. 

Every cell in your body becomes red hot, quaking, and ready to explode at the thought. Adrenaline boils so close to your skin that you barely have a moment to think about your next move before you grab the drink out of her hand and storm over, leaving her in your wake.  

With a flick of his hand, he shrugs off the smaller brunette that’s currently kissing his neck when he sees you approaching. You ignore her offended-sounding click of the tongue as she arranges herself and shuffles out of the booth pouting, passing you with your drink cocked and ready to throw in the face of the first person to test you.

“Are you fucking with me or something?” You hiss, admittedly louder than you had expected.  

“I’d love to.” He chuckles, places an elbow on the table, and sets down his glass to lean into your presence, not phased in the slightest by your outburst. 

“Seriously?You couldn’t even walk over to flirt with me yourself like a normal person, you had to send some poor girl to do it for you?!”

He chuckles to himself through an annoyingly adorable self-amuse smile. “She doesn’t need your pity, I promise you that.”

His pointedly rude comment throws you off. Confronting him seemed like a good idea from your safe distance away at the bar, but you had unknowingly walked directly into the lion's den. Every other man had always backed down when your feathers were ruffled, so his ability to take your shit wasn’t even on your radar until now, as he holds his own like a champ.  

“What is your deal? Do you get off on freaking out single women in bars or something?”

“You were staring at me just as much as I was staring at you, princess.” His calm, cocky tone sends a prickle across your skin.

“You were staring at me first!” Your comeback is decidedly childish, but given his condescending inflection, the small flicker of confidence that led you to this spot is about to burn out and you’re running out of ideas. Drink still in hand, you raise your arm threateningly as if to prove to him somehow that you’re bigger than him, and you’re not afraid to make a scene if need be. 

Instead of softening and caving like you had hoped, he stands up to meet you at his full height and reaches across the table to grasp your elbow, gently tugging you from your locked and loaded position.

“Lower your voice, and put the drink down.” The authority in his voice paired with the glowering look he points at you through furrowed brows shuts down any hope you had for the redemption you crave. You decide that letting him get his way this time won't hurt, so you slowly lower your drink to the table and slide it onto the surface in surrender. “I’m sorry if I scared you, now would you sit down?”

“You didn’t scare me.” Without missing a beat, you’re rolling your eyes and sliding into the booth just a few feet from the seat he’s returned to, almost as if you had no say over the matter. Even if a thinly veiled peace offering in the form of an apology isn’t quite going to cut it, the raw magnetism you feel towards him is too much to ignore.

“That’s a shame, I thought I’d at least intimidate you a little.” He relaxes back against the booth, smirking, and takes a sip of the brown liquid swirling around his glass. Watching his perfectly chiseled adam’s apple bob in his throat pulls your mind briefly to an image of that same neck dripping in sweat, hovering above you.  

Fucking focus.  Don’t let him shake you.

You down the rest of the liquid courage left in the vodka cranberry he bought you that didn’t spill over the edge between the bar and the table.  

“Well, Jake, is it? All you did was piss me off. You can’t just order people around because you look like that.” You wiggle one pointed finger at him, gesturing up and down his beautiful figure.  

“Look like what?” He cocks his head to the side, eyeing you curiously but still all too knowing. 

“Like… like you think you’re better than everyone. Don’t play with me, you know how attractive you are, and you’re using it to get what you want.”

“So you are attracted to me?”  It was barely a question.

“That’s not the point.” Hopefully he can’t tell how progressively it’s been getting for you to answer his questions.

“You’re funny” You don’t quite notice that he’s been getting closer to you as you talk.  “I’ve ordered you to do more than one thing so far tonight and you’ve done them all. Seems like it’s working pretty well to me, you just might not be as immune as you think.” He grabs your legs and pulls you towards him, draping them across his lap and hiking your skirt up a little higher on your thighs in the process.  

Your breath hitches in your throat as you gasp at the unexpected movement.  You have no more weapons in your arsenal and his accusation leaves you searching for a comeback that’s nowhere to be found. As infuriating as it might be, he’s absolutely right and you’re no match for his charms. He’s got you.

“You know my name, can I have yours?” His voice is a river of honey overflowing from his lips.

“I- I’m y/n.”

“A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Tell me y/n, do you think that maybe someone like me needs to order you around because maybe women like you don’t know what you want?”

“What are you talking about, I do too know what I want.”

“Go on then. Enlighten me.”

A hint of embarrassment starts to peek out from its hiding place inside you, threatening to make an appearance but his words are like a challenge. 

Who does he think he is? What kind of man thinks he knows me better than I know myself?

You glance around, over your shoulder trying to get a glimpse of either of his side pieces in the vicinity before making your next move. Once you confirm they’re both nowhere to be found, you lean against him a little more, pressing your ass against his thigh, and run your hand up his exposed chest. All while tangling your fingers in the necklaces that lay there.

“I’ll tell you what I don’t want and that’s some asshole at a bar telling me what to do.” You let a bit of a rasp present itself in your voice, turning the seduction factor up just a tad.

He acts unfazed but a poorly timed blink flickers something across his eyes that you can’t quite place. When you look into his eyes you load them with every ounce of need you possibly can. He reads you like a book. 

“I could rip you to shreds, princess.” 

“You couldn’t hurt me if you tried.” Your voices are just barely loud enough for you to hear each other.

He catches your wrist in his grip, stopping the little circles you were rubbing into his skin.

“You’re playing with fire, y/n. You don’t know what you’re doing.” His eyes burn into yours with all the intensity and lust in the world, and his grip on your wrist tightens. 

“Ow-“ You wince at his strength and bite your lip, trying to stifle the unwelcome pleasure you feel accompanying the pain. In any other instance, you wouldn’t want anyone to hurt you, but with him, everything you’ve ever known is being thrown out the window with every word. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” There’s no real apology in his voice. “Does that hurt? Maybe you should think about the potential consequences of your actions before running that mouth.”

“Maybe you should make me.”

There’s a sharp inhale from Jake before his entire demeanor shifts. What seemed like harmless teasing and flirting before has changed into something far more sinister so suddenly it’s almost as if a switch was flipped inside him. “That’s it, you’re fucking done for. Come on, we’re leaving”

You start to panic as he pulls you from the booth, still gripping your forearm, towards the exit of the bar that leads out to the road. 

“Leaving? Where are we going?” 

“I’m gonna teach you some fucking manners.”

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Outside, there is a black SUV ready and waiting at the curb.  As soon as you see it you stop dead in your tracks, no longer allowing your feet to follow wherever he deigned to drag you. Sure, you want into his pants, but that tiny possibility of stranger danger every woman needs to be aware of pops up in the back of your mind with the wave of a big red flag.

Once he notices he’s met with resistance, he turns back to look at you, concern flashes across his face. Glancing around to assess any potential bystanders, he loosens his grip on your arm in favor of taking both of your hands in his and meeting you where you stand.

“Trust me y/n, I promise I’ll take care of you” He leans in to whisper so only you can hear, lips tickling your ear. When his eyes return to view, he regards you with such sincerity you can’t help but believe. There’s almost a desperation in his eyes you haven’t seen before, begging you to take pity and come with him.  

Slowly, your heart flutters as you kiss him. What’s meant to be soft and chaste is deepened by his hands firmly wrapping around your waist, holding you in his arms for a moment of delicacy before the hunger returns.  

He grips your hips and turns you, breaking the kiss in the process and backing you into the car, as if he’s cornering you like a helpless animal towards the already open door. When your ankles hit the edge you fold and fall into the backseat, you use your hands to back yourself deeper into the car as Jake climbs in on top of you, pulling the door shut behind him. He immediately goes to work on devouring your neck and pushing your skirt up to your hips.

“Jake..” you whisper, “Jake, stop we’re not alone, he’ll see.” You nod slightly in the direction of the chauffeur since you can’t help but notice that there’s no privacy partition. 

“Don’t pretend like you don’t like it. I know you want to be all pretty and exposed for my driver to see.” His voice isn’t hushed in the slightest, like you’d expect it to be in this situation.  

You can't find the words to respond, your heart is pounding and adrenaline is running at light speed through your veins. Right about now is when fear would rear its head and snap at you, forcing you to shut everything down and retreat, but there’s no sign of fear now, not even an inkling. He shoves your legs apart, triggering a little yelp to escape your lips. You had been unconsciously clenching your thighs together, but now Jake's hand is between them, lazily running a finger through your slit now that he’s pulled your panties aside to make room for him. 

“Look at him.”  

“But Jake…” A deep blush rises in your cheeks at the mere thought of what he’s asking you to do.

“Be a good slut and do as I say.” 

You shudder at the deep growl in his voice and peek in the direction of the driver. All you can see is the back of his head, but you do catch the reflection of his eyes in the rearview mirror flickering between the road and the scene unfolding in the back seat. Watching the look in the driver’s eye teeter on the edge of discomfort and arousal is just hot enough to make you bite your own lip. At that same time, Jake decides this is the best time to glide two fingers inside you and stretch you out in search of that sweet spot.  

The movement of his fingers pulls a high-pitched, pornographic moan from your throat just as the driver peeks back in the mirror to peer down at you and you can see his soul leave his body through his eyes when he hears you.  Jake stiffens in his pants flush against your leg, along with the driver, you can only assume. It was an amusing and disgustingly slutty thing of him to do, but it unexpectedly fueled your flame.

“You were right Jakey... I did like that.” Your words come out as a slew of pitchy moans.

“See, you’re learning so much already.” 

A light cough from the driver breaks the tension. “Sir, we’ve arrived.”

Jake barely looks up from where he’s kissing across the tops of your breasts, it seems neither of you noticed that you’d stopped moving, or even began for that matter. “Remember when I asked you to trust me?”

You nod, eagerly, barely recalling the moment of vulnerability you shared outside the bar through the fog that his hand inside you has created, edging you into oblivion.  

“Do you still trust me, princess?”

Based on tonight’s current track record, you’re obviously destined to take an unexpected turn or two before the night is over. An idea that’s both terrifying and thrilling, but that moment of vulnerability is more than enough for you to hold onto hope that he won’t hurt you. You do trust him, as much as you can trust a mysterious stranger from a bar.

You shake your head from side to side, just to fuck with him a little, biting your lip and squeezing your walls around his fingers all the while.

“You brat, you’re too cute for your own good.” He rolls his eyes with a smile, not buying your shitty attempt at bluffing. Though it seems it did tease him just enough to work him up the wall even further than he already is.

With one hand, he opens the car door, the other still deep in your oozing cunt. He presses lightly against your sweet spot with two fingers and holds pressure there. “Get up.”

The intensity of his fingers, stiff and unmoving against the most sensitive part of you would be enough to bring you to your knees if he twitched them even an inch. You do as he says and sit up, but the moment you do he starts to back out of the car, his hooked fingers pulling you along with him.  

“Jake, wait…” You wince and suck in a shaky breath and inch closer to alleviate even a little bit of the growing pressure. For every move you make towards him, he moves farther away until you’re clambering out of the back seat onto a winding drive that leads up to a large and beautiful house.  

You grab his wrist, trying to free yourself from his grasp. Instead of relinquishing control, his free hand wraps around your throat and pushes you back against the side of the car. Your faces are barely inches from each other when you swear under your breath.  

“Don’t be fucking naughty, y/n. You’ll spoil my fun.” He curls his fingers agonizingly slow against your sweet spot. “Understand?” 

His breath is hot and delicious against your skin, you swear you could get drunk on it if he kept you there long enough. You manage a little bit of a nod and a shudder with your limited range of motion and concede with the release of his wrist.  

“Good girl.” He leads you into the house, only pulling his hand from your core once you’re through the door.

He instructs you to get on your knees while he undoes his belt, not breaking eye contact as you sink down. 

“Hands behind your back.” He commands. 

For a split second, you hesitate, deciding what way you want this to play out.  

He’s getting rather comfortable telling me what to do, maybe it’s time to fight back.  

I gave him hell at the bar, I can’t make him think I’m all bark and no bite.

The thought process lasts a little too long for his liking, apparently, and a light but surprising tap from the belt folded over in his fist lands on the side of your arm.  

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” You do as he says, silently cursing yourself for being so quick to submit and he binds your wrists together using his belt. The leather biting your skin ever so slightly.

He circles you once, then twice, eyeing you as you look down at the plush area rug you’re knelt on, trembling for his touch. His presence alone makes you wish he would rip your clothes off and take you right here on the floor. Keeping up your defiant exterior is going to be next to impossible, but you know it can work wonders to get him worked up the way you want him to be, to get him to put his hands on you.

Finally, he bends to your level and lowers the straps of your dress down your shoulders, allowing the front of your dress to fall, exposing your breasts to him. He takes hold of your nipples, pinching them and twisting them until you squirm under his touch. A small whimper escapes your lips, prompting Jake to chuckle as he stands and undoes the remaining zipper and button of his pants. 

“This is what you wanted, isn't it, dirty girl?” He taunts, knowing full well what you want. The fact that just a bit of fabric is the only thing keeping you from the bulge he’s holding just out of reach is excruciating. 

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?” 

“Yes, Sir.”

A noise of contentment rumbles in his chest. “I knew you could be a good pet for me, learning so quickly. Now let me see that pretty tongue.”

You don’t oblige immediately, once again, prompting him to take hold of your jaw with that firm grip you’ve come to know and love. His exposed cock is out and in hand, throbbing deliciously, and he places it on your tongue after forcing it open with a tight squeeze of your chin and a few taps of the head against your cheek. You wrap your lips around him and bob your head along the shaft, suckling on the tip every time you pull away. You look up at him through your lashes to see him gazing down at you with his lips parted, his glorious features contorted into a look of concentration. When he catches your eyes you rub your legs together seeking any source of friction against your clit, eager to pleasure yourself to this view.   

“Ah ah ah,” He scolds, and pushes your knees apart with his foot, not breaking the seal.  “You’ll touch yourself if, and only if, I say so.” When you groan in protest, he places one of his boots between your legs, grinding it against your sopping wet pussy in a way that catches your clit just right.  

You whine around his cock at the new sensation and grind down against it in response, savoring the delightfully rough feeling of the leather on your delicate skin. Moan after moan somersaults out of you while you swivel your hips chasing your release, getting you closer and closer with each roll of your bud over his boot, spurring him on as he grunts along with you.

“Awwww what’s wrong, darling?” He fakes sympathy for your state.  “Too much? Stop moving and I’ll let you go.” 

You try to release him from your mouth to answer, but he grabs the back of your head and thrusts into your mouth, fucking the back of your throat at a relentless pace that causes you to choke. With tears starting to stream down your cheeks from the sheer size of him, an involuntary guttural moan reverberates around his cock, almost doubling him over.  

He pulls you off him by your hair, huffing, exasperated, and then moves his boot away from you to inspect the evidence of your arousal. With the sudden change in pace you groan in protest, grieving the loss of yet another orgasm.  

“Now you’ve made a mess on my boots, you just love misbehaving. Don't you?” 

You shake your head. 

“Clean up your mess.”

Tears still streaming down your cheeks from choking, you decide to test your luck once more. Partly because you’re not quite sure what he’s asking of you, but also because you’re barely keeping a grip on the bratty facade you’ve created. So you pull out a shit eating grin and choke out a broken, “No”

“No? Did you forget what happens when you disobey?” There’s a merciless, almost terrifying cadence to the question.  

You didn’t forget though, how could you possibly forget? Neverless, you do your best not to let on how easily he’s cracking your shell.

“No, I’m sorry.”

“No, what? Come on, I know you can be a good girl.”

“No sir.. I’m sorry, I’ll be so good.. I promise.” You pant, desperate.

He weaves his fingers into your hair, wrapping his hand once around the strands.  

“If you want me to turn you into my pretty little cock sleeve, you’ll prove you can be good and clean up your mess.” He punctuates each word, driving the point home that he’s no longer making requests. With an iron-clad hold on your already defenseless body, he bends you at the waist drawing you towards the ground until you’re face to face with your soaked ride. 

It dawns on you exactly what he means and your stomach flips three times over.  

Jake has been surprising you consistently, all night, with sickly sexy acts that have your jaw on the floor. Licking your own cream off his little black boots is undeniably one of them. 

You extend your tongue and collect a pile of your juices on the flat of it, panting heavily to maintain your composure. 

“You like that don’t you.. How do you taste?” He asks, his tone practically dripping with lust.  

As if it’s second nature, you collect another pile on your tongue and tilt your face upwards, offering it to him. He hums low in his throat as he yanks you off the floor to his height so he can wrap his lips around your tongue, slurping your juices up before dipping his own tongue into your mouth to savor the taste of you a bit longer. 

“Just like I thought, fucking delicious.” He frees your hands from his belt so you can get your bearings, and you absentmindedly rub your wrists to ease the pressure marks left there.

“Yeah? Are you gonna eat me up?” You can feel your lips are red and puffy, but you bite them anyway as you tease him. 

“Oh, sweetheart, you are delicious.. But I like to play with my food before I eat it.” His words send a shudder down your spine and shake every last bit of air from your lungs with a broken exhale.

You’ve never been degraded like this before, but judging based on the way your clit is quivering and you feel like you could combust at any second, you file it away for future use. Shame has never felt so good as when it’s surrounded by praise from Jake's perfect lips. 

With that, he takes hold of your wrist and turns, dragging you along behind him, making you stumble and trip trying to keep up with him until he scoops you into his arms to carry you up a flight of stairs that leads to his bedroom. He effortlessly tosses you onto the bed like a rag doll once you arrive. 

“Panties off. On all fours.” He commands.

You slide your panties down, not daring to disobey him again, and scramble into position on the pillow-soft mattress. You hear him pulling off his clothes as they fall to the floor, followed by the gentle rustling of the bedsheets dipping from his weight as he moves across them. Instead of the soft head that you were expecting, you feel the familiar leather of his belt running up the backs of your thighs. 

“Jake.. I don’t know about this..”

“You didn’t think you’d get off without punishment, did you? No, you’ve been acting up, babygirl. I want to feel your red hot ass against my legs when I fuck you.”

He glides the belt across your slit once, tapping it lightly to ease you into the sensation, making you jump slightly. Your breathing picks up and you grit your teeth in anticipation as he rolls the belt over your skin in little circles. You turn your head to look at him and catch him watching you, gauging your reaction.  Probably for any sign of protest, but there’s none to be found amidst your boiling excitement. You wiggle your ass at him a little to signal you’re ready. 

Suddenly, all sensation is gone leaving you defenseless momentarily before he brings the belt down swiftly over your ass with a crack. You cry out, and he soothes his hand over the spot before repeating the action, spanking you over and over in perfect rhythm sending your body jolting forward. Each one stinging more than the last with only a brief brush of his hand to ease the pain. You bite your tongue as best as you can between each strike until you let out a quiet sob, sniffling away the tears, but it doesn’t stop your body from shaking. 

One brush of his hand over your ass stops him mid-swing. He pauses, leaving his hand to rest there, it seems like he’s reading your feelings through the palm of his hand and the emotion hidden in your noises. He sounds a small mewl that can only be described as pathetic as he drops to his knees at the edge of the bed and cups your face in his hands.  

“Are you okay?  Why didn’t you stop me if it was too much?” If you weren’t already crying, you’d weep at the desperation of his words. 

“I’m okay.” You shake your head and smile up at him weakly. Through blurry vision and wet lashes you can make out his features, wiped clean of any trace of heat replaced now with terror. All you want is for him to look at you like a goddess again. “You can keep going.”

He nods in understanding and gently wipes your tears with his thumbs and returns to his spot behind you on the bed. On instinct, your muscles tense, bracing for another impact.   

“I’m not going to push you anymore, princess. Take some deep breaths.”  He kisses your bruises softly and tosses his belt away and off to the side of the bed in plain view so you can see it’s been discarded, you give your sore muscles permission to relax.

He really is much softer than I thought. 

“You’ve earned a reward.” He smooths his hands over your tender battered skin one last time, then spreads your lips a little a bit as he bends to lick you. He starts with a long stripe and slowly picks up speed to set a frenzied pace, every once in a while sucking your clit into his mouth or flicking his tongue over your ass.  

You approach the peak so easily since you were teetering close to the edge already. Whimpers and curses flow out of you like a roaring river.

“That’s right, my pet. Purr for me.” Hearing him sound so out of breath between his words, peppered in with the swipes over your sensitive bud have you leaping over the edge of your orgasm. He works you through it with ease, slurping up every bit of what you gave him.  

You half expected him to keep going, to overstimulate you beyond belief, but he simply brings you back down from your cloud as you relax your body into the mattress.

“Can I have one more, Sir?” You roll over onto your back, splaying your legs for him while you look up at him with the best doe eyes you can manage. 

“One more, she says. Who said you get to be greedy?” It’s fully your fault when he takes advantage of your exposed state to land two quick spanks on your pussy. You take them as a well deserved scold, but whine to him anyway. “You’re a needy little slut, huh? You’re lucky I like hearing you beg.”

“Please, I want to feel you.” He situates himself on the bed and effortlessly pulls you into his lap, lining you up and shoving himself inside you with no warning before you can even finish your sentence.

You’re beginning to get a sneaking suspicion that he could be just as weak for you as you are for him.  

These are thoughts for another time though, since your mind begins to cloud over as he ferociously fucks up into you while simultaneously pulling you tighter against him by your shoulders.  

There are no thoughts at all really.  

The sequence of events makes you feel as though you’d never be more turned on again in your whole life. As though you could sleep with a million people after this night and not one of them would live up to this moment. It could have happened in slow motion, there could’ve been background music or even an audience of onlookers and you wouldn’t be able to notice. All that matters is how he’s making your eyes roll to the back of your head.  

He moans your name in waves, praising you for how good you feel, how perfect your cunt is. His brows knit up and worry lines appear as he continues his vicious attack on your core, bucking his hips up against your sweet spot and into your cervix. An overwhelming feeling you’re happy to succumb to if it means you can see this look on his face.  

Pressed skin to skin, you wrap your arms around him, cradling his head in your arms until your fingers are buried in his hair. You hold each other this way, intimately until your orgasms manifest together, unfolding like a butterfly emerging from her chrysalis. The warmth of his cum flooding your insides just adds to the pleasure until you slowly come to a halt together.

Though your eyes are still closed, you let him rock the both of you back until you’re lying together, resting your weight on top of him. He pulls out slowly so as to not overwhelm you and pets your hair gently as if you could crack under his touch at any second. Your cheek is pressed against the skin of his chest, sticky with a light sheen of sweat. The smell of sex on him is intoxicating, so you press a few open-mouthed kisses against his chest, savoring the salty essence left on your lips. 

In your post-fuck stupor, you let your mind run a mile a minute as your breathing returns to normalcy.

“Did you have that girl put something in my drink, Jakey?” The question is out before you have time to realize how ridiculous it sounds.

“Why would I need to drug your drink?” You can’t see his face, but you can hear the shock laced with mild amusement in his voice.

You shrug. “I would normally never do something like this. I’m shy, I don’t have terrifying sex with beautiful strangers.”

Jake chuckles in an adorable way that makes your cheeks burn and kisses the top of your head. “Would you feel better about yourself if I did?”

“No,” you reply without hesitation. “I don’t want to be the shy girl anymore.”

“Good, 'cause you’re not. You bagged me all on your own.” 

You roll your eyes at his relentless ego making another appearance.

“You’ll have to learn to actually trust me, babygirl.”

“I do.”

You smile and drift off into a quiet sleep, breathing in his scent while admiring the red marks on your wrists. 

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

thank you for reading

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[sentientgopro]

So, the other day, I told the first other person I know IRL that I cracked, over a month after it happened, and it was, well, weird.

The reason for it being this person in particular was that I know, damn well, they get it. Hell, they're a massive egg themselves, their words, not mine. So I knew if I was gonna tell anyone, they had to be first.

I didn't wanna outright bring it up to them if I could avoid it, so I started with small hints every now and again, like being a little too careless with keeping my phone close to me while I had an r/egg_irl or r/traaaaaa... post on my feed. They commented on it when they saw egg irl, I told them Im not an egg, they looked at me as if to say "yeaahhh sure about that buddy" and I followed up by saying an egg is someone who hasn't realised it, And I realised a month ago.

Idk if I wasn't clear enough, it was kinda loud in the room, of whether they thought I was joking, but they didn't really react to it at the time.

It wasn't until we went on a walk to get lunch a week or so later, and they kinda got into something a bit personal out of the blue, and it really set the tone of "we dont normally talk about shit but we can do that right now." As it goes, the thing they were talking about could feed kinda well into me being more upfront with what I was trying to say. I repeated the same "Im not an egg" trick I did last time but clearer, and we had a back and forth exchange of

"But In a cis way right?"

"No."

"But in a-"

"No."

"...

...

...But in a-"

"no."

and it kinda seemed to catch them off guard a bit, being so upfront with what I was saying. As I said, they say themself that they're a massive egg, as a joke, ofcourse. But I think they were so suprised by me doing that because they feel the same way but are down so many layers deep in "in a cis way, still cis tho". And it kinda makes me wonder if me being so upfront and honest with myself about it will help them be honest to themself. Either way, I feel like I'm starting to read too much into someone elses emotions and make assumptions based on nothing.

Other than the initial suprise, they didn't really react much and have much else to say, and I really think thats a good outcome? Like, they get my situation, I can't start transitioning for a while, so they understand that I'm not really trans yet, Im just telling them how I feel, and kinda reacted like that was the case. The most they said was when I was talking about how I just kinda gotta manage it for now until I can move out and they said "Fuck it, we ball" and I was just like. Exactly, you get exactly what I mean.

So its weird, because while it feels like a massive deal to me and feels kinda anticlimactic, I dont really want to be treated like its a massive deal yet? Because really, nothing has or will change for a long time, and thats part of the reason I havent come out to more people yet, because its just gonna be awkward to continue like I never said anything afterwards. But this was good.

So, this has been a fairly aimless log just generally talking about my first experience kinda coming out as trans (not my first experience of coming out, plenty of people know Im Ace) so I wanted to write down my thoughts on it. After so many posts like this, it still feels kinda silly, but I guess the whole point of blogs is that theyre kinda like public diaries? idk.

Its also worth noting this was part of one of my 3 goals for this year, to start kinda coming out to people. I doubt Ill tell anyone else, maybe one other person I can trust, but idk. As for the other 2, I really havent made a great deal of progress with planning my transition, but thats fine, its January. As for "100%ing Celeste to the best of my ability?" Kind already done after 40hrs and just over a month of having it. I thought thatd take me alot longer lmfao. So, update to that one, lets say, Strawberry Jam done up to expert lobby? Sure, why not.

#personal logs #196 #transgender #transfem

[reynanghugot]

[July 18, 2023 6:26PM] disclaimer: long post ahead. This might be TMI for some; you can skip it.

To those who are new to my dash [yes, I followed some in the last few months because I wanted to see new people], Hi, I'm Jelli! It was nice to be your mutual here.

As usual, I just woke up again because I slept late last night due to one of my major subject submissions at 11:59 p.m. Anyway, good evening. Well, maybe good morning if you are living in a different Time Zone. Here's a life update that you didn't ask for:

Well, I have a few more days before my one-week diet and my therapy. I've been waiting for this time to share what's really happening to me alone. I've been receiving messages lately; some were asking how I was doing, some were already aware of my health condition, which I have shared here, and some were just skipping those posts because that's really what they were supposed to be.

I've already mentioned this in my previous posts, [but let me repeat it again because who cares, right?] I was diagnosed in April 2023 with a non-toxic goiter and underwent surgery in May 2023. One week after I was discharged, my biopsy result came out, and I was diagnosed with papillary thyroid carcinoma [this is curable, by the way; it's just that I'm really scared at its finest because we have a strong family history when it comes to this type of illness]. Yes, you can do your own research on what that is [if you would like], but that was really the term that I would like to go for. In other words, I'm not yet done with medications, laboratories, and hospital admissions. Frankly speaking, it's really hard to accept it at first, but I really need to, because for me, acceptance is really the best thing that I can do to go on with my day while I'm waiting for my next doctor's appointment. I am just hoping for the best with my radioactive iodine therapy on the 31st. It might be a little harder for me and for my loved ones because I need to be isolated for 3–5 days and another 15 days once discharged.

Due to my health condition, I've been on leave since April 10, 2023, and I'm still not sure if I will go back to work or not. We'll see after my therapy and recuperation period. Despite my current situation, I will still be able to retain my academic achievement as part of the president's list from last semester. For sure, you were able to see it if we are friends on Facebook.

I was able to see my longtime friends from 2013 on July 9, 2023. I've been missing in action for four years due to personal matters. I had a great night with them and with our partners, just like in the old days. It might be a short period of time that has been allotted for that dinner because we have our priorities the next day, but it's really memorable for me. I am truly grateful to have them in my life.

There's nothing new that happened in my life during the second quarter because of my current situation. Aside from me trying my luck in freelancing because I really want to change the industry in which I am working, I am also just going back and forth to the hospital, and prior to that, I was given a chance to go celebrate my Birthday with @/niiiikkotin and @/p0poynawalangbasha weekend after the holy week last April 2023, visit Nikko's family mid-April 2023, and take a long week vacation with my family last May 2–5, 2023.

I think is the best thing that I could share here. If you will ask me, How am I doing? I am currently okay while I'm typing this. But still, not every day is a good day. I still have days when I'm at my lowest physically, financially, emotionally, and mentally, but I know how strong I am and I can get through this. A little progress every day is still progress for me. I hope everything goes well in the next few days.

If you reach this point in your reading, thank you for taking the time. We might not be that close personally, but I still appreciate you listening to [or, initially, just reading] my chika. Have a great night, and take care always!

#LifeLately #Personal #OnlineDiary

[karmic-vibes]

Changing Lives

part 4 of nurse steve series!! ft girl dads steddie art credit: Vickie Wade

cw: brief mentions of suicidal ideation, general health issues (associated with AIDS)

wc: 1.7k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

———————————————————————

Without giving Eddie much of a choice, Steve got him set up with a therapist and psychiatrist to work through his suicidal ideations—to truly get to the bottom of what was causing it all. After about a month of therapy, his providers finally yanked out of him that the pain AIDS was giving him was what made him want to die. He tried hiding the morbidity and anguish his condition gave him from Steve, so he wouldn’t worry, but dear lord was it killing him slowly.

He hid walking pneumonia for several weeks, along with surprise asthma attacks, his joints feeling like they were crumbling beneath him, constant fatigue mixed with chronic migraines, amongst so much more. He didn’t want to burden Steve—but the want to not burden only amplified his pain, bringing him closer and closer to the edge of impending despair.

But, by ‘93, with the help of one Steve Harrington, R.N., Eddie managed to anchor himself back to reality. Between going to rehab for ten weeks, undergoing weekly therapy sessions, and biweekly doctor appointments to stay on top of his illness, he was doing better than ever.

Medications were getting better and better through the years—on top of Eddie’s vast fortune from Corroded Coffin, he was able to really stay on top of his condition, leading a normal life he never thought would be possible again. He was grateful he hung on—he was grateful for Steve. 

His gratitude only grew when he made it to 2006—the year adoption for gay couples became legal in Indiana. As soon as they were approved, they were placed on a waiting list for a child. By the end of the year, they had their first child: a baby girl named June Charlotte Harrington. 

His gratitude only grew when he made it to 2006—the year adoption for gay couples became legal in Indiana. As soon as they were approved, they were placed on a waiting list for a child. By the end of the year, they had their first child: a baby girl named June Charlotte Harrington. 

“She’s beautiful,” Eddie cried as he cradled June against his chest. “Thank you…”

“For what?” Steve chuckled, caressing his newborn’s head. 

“Making me stay… all those years ago. I know I didn’t want to. God, I really wanted to go, but… I don’t know. I’m thankful for you.”

“Oh, Ed, you’re the one who made the changes. You’re the one that stuck with it. You did it.”

“Do you remember what you told me when I asked you why you went into nursing?” Steve smiled to himself and leaned into his partner. 

“Nurses are the ones who make real change.”

“They are, Stevie… I love you, and I love our Junie Bug.” He mumbled a kiss into her head. 

“I love you both… so, so much. Thank you for staying…”

The pair got to bring their bundle of joy home a few days later. They had never been happier and they couldn’t wait to grow their family bigger and bigger. It was almost like they forgot Eddie could go downhill at any moment. 

By 2009, they submitted an application to be placed on a wait list for their second kid and by 2010 they had their second daughter: Lucie Caroline Harrington. 

“June Bug,” Eddie started. He crouched to meet her gaze. “This is your baby sister… her name is Lucie.”

“But papa,” She pouted, “I’m the baby.”

“You’ll always be our baby, Junie,” Steve reassured. “You knew you were going to be a big sister, sweetheart. You were excited just last week.”

“But I want her to go back in her mommy’s tummy…”

“We can’t do that,” Eddie chuckled. “She’s your little sister. Just try and be nice to her, alright?”

“Fine.” She furrowed her brow. 

“Do you wanna hold her?” Steve asked. June shook her head as she grossed her arms in a fit. 

“Okay, I think it’s nap time.” Steve picked her up and hauled her onto his hip. 

“No!” she whined, kicking his side. 

“June, please stop.” She only kicked harder. “Juniper!” 

When Steve whipped out the fake full name, she knew she was in trouble. She cowered and rested her head on his shoulder, clutching to his shirt. He brought her up to her room to take a nap, hopefully to eventually bring back a happier toddler. 

“Holy shit… we have two kids,” Eddie whispered, feeding Lucie her bottle. 

“We have two kids…”

“How many more do you want?” Eddie teased. 

“As many as we can have with you still being healthy.”

“Stevie, I haven’t had anything bad happen in nearly ten years. My last hospitalization was in ‘02, for Christ’s sake.”

“I know, I know, but I worry, honey. I know you’re strong and doing well, but I just want you to be able to watch our girls grow up.”

“And I will or die trying. You and our girls are my world, Stevie. I’m doing everything I can, I swear.”

“I know you are, Eds.”

Time went on and the boys grew closer with their family as each day passed. Neither of them thought they could ever be as happy as they were. 

Steve worked alongside his favorite people (who all switched to day shift after starting families) day-in and day-out at Hawkins Memorial. Eddie started teaching at he local high school and offering private lessons after school, free of charge, while their girls continued to thrive. 

June eventually warmed up to Lucie, being the best big sister someone could have ever hoped for. She was her forever playmate and best friend (even if they still bickered from time to time). 

One afternoon, when Steve got home from work, he found Eddie in the kitchen cooking the girls lunch. Lucie was up on his hip and June was spinning around by his feet. Eddie smiled at the little dancer as he stirred the sauce for their pasta.

“Papa, come on, dance with me!” June whined. 

“Alright, alright.” 

Eddie lowered the temperature on the stove and let the lunch simmer. He walked over to the kitchen speaker, where his phone was sitting, already shuffling through music. He scrolled through his library to a familiar Beatles album. 

Picture yourself in a boat on a river…

Eddie took June’s hand as twirled her around as Lucie rested her head on his shoulder. When it got to the chorus, Eddie let out a playful gasp and looked to his sleepy toddler. 

“Lucy in the sky with diamonds,” he sang. “Lucy in the sky with diamonds.” He started tossing her up and catching her in his arms. Lucie let out little giggles as she soared through the air. 

The three of them had yet to notice Steve. He slowly crept into the kitchen and leaned on the doorframe, watching his adorning partner play with their daughters. It was the little moments like this he was happy Eddie decided to fight. 

During the closing chorus, Eddie went back to tossing and spinning the girls to the beat of the music. On one of the final lines, Eddie caught Lucie and it was like the wind got knocked out of him. 

He choked on a breath, setting the two-year-old down on the countertop. He dug through the kitchen drawers, searching for his inhaler, but couldn’t find it anywhere. 

Steve ran in, panicked that his other half couldn’t breathe. He frantically cleared out the drawers, eventually retrieving Eddie’s medication. He handed it to Eddie and gently rubbed his back as he tried catching his breath. 

Unfortunately, his inhaler wasn’t doing its job. Eddie still couldn’t catch his breath. He didn’t understand—he played with his girls all the time and this never happened. He hadn’t had a flare up in months. 

June and Lucie had tears pooling in their eyes, never before witnessing Eddie in pain. Whenever he felt something coming on, he was always meticulous about hiding it so he wouldn’t scare his daughters. But this… this hit him like a train going a million miles a minute. 

“Hos… hospital,” Eddie wheezed, tugging on Steve’s scrubs. “Plea-plea- pl–”

He went into a coughing fit, unable to collect himself. He was getting paler, sweatier, and dizzier by the second. 

Steve scooped the girls up, one in each arm, and loaded them into the car. Eddie was slowly following, managing to get himself in the car as Steve finished buckling Lucie in. Steve insisted Eddie keep puffing his inhaler every few minutes to try and open up his lungs, but it was no use. 

Steve pulled into the patient parking lot,  collecting the girls in record time. He rushed Eddie up to the front desk, setting June down as he spoke to his coworker. They immediately took Eddie back for an assessment, angering everyone who had already been waiting for god knows how long. 

Eddie was given a bed and was soon put on a number of breathing treatments in hopes of soothing his lungs. When none of them worked, he was shipped off to get an x-ray taken, and sure enough, his left lung collapsed for the first time in ten years. 

He kicked himself for being so stupid early on in his diagnosis. Why didn’t he just tell Steve he had pneumonia? Why didn’t he grow a pair and ask for help? Now, here he was, with chronically failing lungs, scarred beyond belief, and traumatizing his two young daughters. 

Steve sat in Eddie’s hospital room with June and Lucie, desperately trying to explain what was going on. June was sat at the foot of Eddie’s bed as Lucie reclined on Steve’s legs. 

“Is papa gonna be okay?” June asked. 

“I hope so, Junie, I really do,” Steve sighed, bouncing his leg up and down. “How’re you doing, bug?”

“‘m okay.” 

She shrugged and picked the lint off Eddie’s hospital blanket. Eddie smiled fondly at the little one at the end of the bed and gently nudged her with his foot. He wasn’t allowed to talk until further notice, so he just smiled at the girls, trying to reassure them. 

“He’s not gonna die, right daddy?”

“I’ll let the sun explode before I let papa die. He’s gonna be okay.” He looked to Eddie with sad eyes, letting out a sigh. “I promise…”

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