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#which is SAYING SOMETHING for me bc im normally both quite good with pain and also a hardass for taking painkillers

taelme · 4 years

Text

Enemies-to-lovers!Bang Chan

request: Hey! Can i request and enemies to lovers slow burn with bang chan where they dont like each other but theres undeniable chemistry

genre: enemies-to-lovers!au, workplace/office!au, (fluff, slow burn, lots of denial of feelings lol)

pairing/s: Chan / Reader (ft Seungmin and some ocs!)

word count: 21k rip I got pretty carried away

tw: not any prominent ones that I can think of, kind of hints of the whole misogyny in the workplace kind of thing

a/n: I got super carried away writing this I hope you guys like it haha im currently working on the other requests so do look forward to those!! ill try to put them out as soon as I can~~ all this staying at home is really giving me time to write... ( I HAD TO use this gif I just HAD TO) but yes this was a little hard to find reasons why y/n wld hate chan bc im for the chan is an angel agenda but I ended up having so much fun ok BYE

“Hey, you free to get lunch later?” You’d bumped into your friend who worked in the company’s legal department, Seungmin, on a Thursday morning while you were in the pantry preparing coffee and tidbits for your boss.

You nodded, “uh-huh,” mixing the coffee absently, “what are you doing here?”

Seungmin shrugged, leaning against the counter as he munched on a cookie, “felt like taking a walk. Things have been pretty busy in the legal department lately.”

“Why?”

Seungmin gave you a cheeky smile, shrugging, “can’t say, but you’ll find out soon enough.”

You rolled your eyes, gritting your teeth with feigned menace towards him (his smile stayed unwavering, even sticking his tongue out at you to mock you).

“Who’s that for?” Seungmin gestured to the coffee mugs on the tray.

“Mr Bang’s supposed to be meeting his nephew or something, he made it seem really important but all he told me was that it’s for his nephew,” you shrugged, glancing down at your two cups of coffee, realisation hitting you.

“Shit, that just reminded me. He said his nephew doesn’t drink coffee. Do you want this?” You shot Seungmin a pleading look, holding up your now unneeded cup of coffee.

Seungmin scoffed, taking the mug from you wordlessly, “how exciting your job is, huh,” he deadpanned, sipping the coffee, “wanna reconsider joining the legal department now?”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’m perfectly satisfied with my job now, thank you very much.”

You’d prepared a pot of tea, careful not to spill the water onto the counter as you did so, transferring the pot onto your tray, “and plus, considering the amount of money I get paid for the amount of work I do, I’m more than happy.”

Seungmin scoffed, “should’ve known it was because of the money.”

“Alright, I’ve gotta go, see you later,” you said, picking up your tray as Seungmin waved his hand with cookie crumbs on his fingers, the clicking of your heels growing softer as you walked further away.

Reaching the door of your boss’ office, you’d been able to faintly make out 2 silhouettes through the window from where you stood, composing yourself to make a good impression as you knocked on the door. Hearing your boss grunt, you’d pushed the door open with your shoulder, your gaze focused on the coffee table as you greeted your boss.

Setting the pot of tea on the table, you’d cast a glance at the recipient, your eyes widening when you’d spotted the boy with dyed hair sitting on the plush leather sofa facing your boss, dressed in a clean white button-down and tie, an equally well-ironed pair of pants, his posture relaxed with his legs spread casually.

His gaze was on you, as if analysing your movements, making you direct your gaze back to your task at hand, setting the saucer with the cup of coffee onto the coffee table, placing the small biscuits your boss liked in the middle of the two.

Holding the tray close to your chest, you cast a glance at your boss, about to bow in greeting and head back out when his voice had stopped you.

“Y/N, please, stay here. I’d like to discuss something with you and my nephew.”

Your eyebrows raised, lips pressed tightly together as you nodded, “oh…cool, alright.”

“Please, take a seat,” Mr Bang gestured to the space on the sofa next to his nephew, making you seat yourself awkwardly on the other side of the sofa, your body pressing against the armrest as if trying to create as much distance as you could between him and you.

“So, Chan, this is my secretary, Y/N,” Mr Bang gestured to you, “Y/N, this is my nephew, uh… Chris,” he spoke, the name sounding fairly familiar to you. Chris Bang? You sounded the name over in your head, not being able to connect the dots as to why it was so familiar at this point of time.

“So, sweetheart, because I’ve been planning on resigning for a while now, I thought I should let you know that I’m planning on handing my position over to Chris.”

Maybe this was what Seungmin was so busy with.

You nodded slowly, trying to understand the implications this decision meant for you, “will my contract be terminated, then?”

Chris glanced at you, as if searching your expression. He found you fairly younger than he’d expected, since his uncle had mentioned earlier that you’d already been working for him for quite some time, going onto 2 years already.

Of course, he didn’t want to underestimate you, but knowing the directors’ reputations regarding secretaries, he wasn’t sure if he could put a label on your abilities without seeing them for himself, first. And to him, he wasn’t quite understanding of why his uncle was so insistent that he needed a secretary, his past experiences with secretaries all being quite unimpressive.

“That… is unfortunately up to Chris, but ideally your contract will resume as per normal.”

You glanced back at the boy, who looked at you with an unreadable expression, something about his stare successfully unnerving you, the way he looked at you almost with a certain level of contempt.

“We’ll be having a company dinner tonight to welcome Chris to the team, it would do the both of you well to get acquainted with each other before the board meeting for ceo elections.”

You nodded slowly, still clutching the tray close to your chest as you wondered how old he was, the whole ordeal seeming as though it were something out of a movie: a young apathetic heir getting authority over a large corporation at such a young age. Was he even qualified for this position? The rest of the directors were nowhere near his age, well, appearance wise.

As if having read your mind, your boss spoke, “I’m sure you two will get along just fine, considering you two are so close in age.”

Your eyes narrowed, something in you not feeling comfortable with this arrangement. Dismissing the thought quickly, you shrugged, figuring it would be a change of scenery from being around the old directors all the time.

You watched as Chris shrugged.

“We’ll see.”

===

“Who?” Seungmin dabbed at his lips with his towel, picking up his glass of water to take a sip, making you frown, still trying to do your research on Chris Bang as far as your browser app would take you.

“Chris Bang. He’s gonna take over the company from President Bang.”

Your words seemed to have elicited a giggle from Seungmin, “doesn’t that make them both ‘President Bang’?”

Seungmin ignored your eye roll, continuing, “this was what I was referring to just now, you know. I thought you would’ve known who he was by now,” he told you, making you set your phone down on the table, open on his LinkedIn page that frankly wasn’t giving you much other than stating how very qualified he was for the job.

“You know, Bang Chan? Ring a bell? That guy that’s been switching departments for God-knows-how-long since last year. The one that got all of us donuts one time,” Seungmin gave you a ‘duh’ look, considerably unamused.

“Oh,” only then were you realising just who that was. You knew exactly who he was. You’d heard many rumours from the other secretaries on how he was impossibly good at anything he’d set his mind to, his work ethic and standard incomparable to anyone else in the company they’d ever seen.

Which was why all that switching departments start to make sense to you, since it could’ve been his way of making sure he learnt the ins-and-outs of every department by the time he took over. If that wasn’t just more evidence that he was definitely a crazy workaholic.

At the time, you’d made a passing comment on how you hoped you would never have to be his subordinate, after having heard stories on how intimidating he was whenever it came to work (especially work that was improperly done). Little did you know that your comment would come back to bite you in the ass so soon.

“Yeah, ‘oh,” Seungmin mimicked you, taking another bite out of his burger, “why d’you seem so…,” Seungmin made a pained groaning sound as he gestured to you for lack of a better word, “about it, anyway? Shouldn’t you be happy? He’s super nice!”

You scrunched your nose up, locking your phone in your dismay, not wanting to see his face on his stupid profile mocking you with all his stupid qualifications anyway.

“I don’t know, just kind of feels a little sudden. And I hate the feeling of not knowing if I’m gonna be fired since it’s not up to Mr Bang anymore.”

“Which one?” Seungmin joked, making you scoff, finding it just a little funny. Only a little.

Seungmin continued, “you’re just mad because him taking over means you actually have to do work.”

You shot him a glare, your silence being an acknowledgement that he wasn’t entirely wrong.

“And because I love Mr Bang! He was such a nice old man that checked in on me and gave me life advice. I’m not gonna get any life advice from someone that’s basically my age.”

Seungmin huffed in amusement, bringing his hand up to cup his mouth as if to divulge a secret, dropping his voice to a strained whisper, “transfer to the legal department.”

You sighed, “no, I still love my pay.”

“Then stop sulking! Chris is the nicest guy I’ve met, you’ll be fine. Just show up to the company dinner tonight and fluff him up a bit,” Seungmin shrugged, “it’ll be smooth sailing from then on.”

===

You figured you should’ve tried to do a lot better to fluff Chris up during the company dinner, instead of just going over to grill the meat for the directors, under the instruction of President Bang.

The action itself didn’t sit right with Chris, who didn’t understand why it was so imperative to the directors that you be the one to grill the meat until he realised just why they were keeping you there.

His own uncle was oblivious of course, simply obliging at any chance he got to show off how capable you were (even if it was just grilling meat), however Chris was quick to notice the way they stared at you as you reached between them to grill the meat, your face feeling hot with the steam from the grill.

“Y/N is very hardworking, graduated at the top of her class in college,” Mr Bang mentioned pointedly, making Chris’ eyebrows raise in surprise.

“Really? What did you study?” He spoke, knowing very well you were listening, the other directors not paying any attention to learning your background as they prompted you to pour them a drink. You didn’t miss the way his words were accented, remembering hearing from Seungmin that he’d spent a large chunk of his life in Australia.

Tipping the bottle, you’d answered (albeit a little preoccupied).

“Law,” you sat back on your heels, “minored in journalism.”

Chris frowned, not being able to understand why you would’ve chosen to work here as his uncle’s secretary of all things if you had pretty good prospects on your own.

“How’d you end up working for my uncle, then?” He voiced, your attention diverted when you’d been prompted by a director to take a shot of your own, clinking your glass obnoxiously and leaving you with no choice, an embarrassed flush on your face.

Taking the shot, you winced at the burn of the drink, glancing back at Chris, who was still looking at you curiously, wondering how you’d felt under the attention of the directors.

“Did it as a temp job at first,” you told him, “but I guess I realised halfway that I don’t mind it so much, and it paid me pretty well.”

Chris hummed, you ‘don’t mind’ this?

One of the directors let out a grunt of distaste, “you shouldn’t worry about that, doll. The job of a secretary is to look pretty, the pride of the company is in its secretaries,” he said, clearly having already had one-too-many drinks, his words leaving an awful aftertaste on your tongue, his hand going over to grasp your shoulder, his hand going down to your arm and squeezing.

“I always told her she’d do well as a housewife. That way she wouldn’t have to work and just mooch off her husband.”

You mustered a smile, setting the bottle of drink down and bowing to them, Chris having lost his appetite at the way you’d just let their comments slide.

“Maybe she prefers mooching off of the directors, instead,” Chris murmured, his sharp tongue getting the better of him, catching your attention as you were walking past him, making you stop in your tracks.

Chris’ uncle tut his tongue, nudging the boy harshly, making him raise his hands in surrender.

“What? Just speaking off of observation.”

You turned around, a surge of confidence arising in you (from where? You weren’t sure, maybe it was the fact that in your eyes he was still what was standing in between you and your possible severance pay), “excuse me?”

“I’m sorry, was there any untruth in what I said?” Chris turned, his gaze almost challenging you to speak out against the directors, not knowing that it was only serving to spur you on to speak out against him instead.

You scoffed, Chris standing up and awaiting your answer, a voice in you screaming at you not to be intimidated by him, especially with the way his head tilted down ever so slightly, his eyebrows raising expectantly.

“Didn’t know they would just let any rude petty kid run any company these days,” you narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms and straightening your posture.

Seungmin, who was watching from his table with the legal team, grimaced, deeming Chris’ expression to be anything but friendly at the moment.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s just a little unbelievable to me that I’m supposed to be answering to someone who just got the company handed to him,” your words were coming out faster than you could help it. I mean, you were probably going to get fired anyway, right? Might as well go down with a fight.

“You don’t know anything about me,” Chris muttered, his voice firm, annoyance laced in his tone. Your words seemed to have triggered a spark in him, annoyed that you were doubting his abilities, blatantly disrespecting him even after knowing he could be your superior.

Mr Bang had tapped Chris’ calf harshly, “enough, don’t keep y/n from eating.”

Ignoring his words, Chris had stepped forward, staring you down as the tension had only thickened between the both of you.

“But then, what would you know, right? What was that again? Right. What are you here for other than to look pretty, hmm?” He tilted his head at you, flashing you a smile that was practically dripping with sarcasm.

You practically seethed with anger, your fists clenching as you unfolded your arms, your finger coming up to point at him, “you know what? I’d rather eat beansprouts for the rest of my life than work for you.” You scoffed.

Chris' amused lilt to his smile was only serving to annoy you even more, making you storm over to your table with the other secretaries, all of them casting you looks of concern or shock that you would have confronted him like that. Picking up your jacket, you’d scoffed, casting him one last look before you left, not expecting to see him again afterwards.

Well, that was the part you were very very wrong about.

That night, you’d called your boyfriend over to submit him to a seemingly never-ending rant about Chris, getting a text from Seungmin halfway.

“I mean, isn’t it good, then? That you can find another job?” Your boyfriend tried to reason, pressing a kiss to your neck as you straddled him where he was sitting leaning against your headboard.

“That’s not the point,” you insisted, pausing to read the text that Seungmin had sent, oblivious to his urgent kisses trailing up to your jaw.

seungmin (personal) 2:12am -consider yourself lucky. Spoke to Chan just now, make sure you show up to work tomorrow.-

“The point is that, he’s arrogant. What? Telling me that I’m only here to look pretty?—“

“In his defence, you insulted him first.”

You glared at your boyfriend, “Yeah, fine. But he provoked me first. And I don’t know, something about him just pisses me off,” you tried to reason, your boyfriend’s kisses beginning to distract you from your anger.

“You know what, maybe you should just give him a shot. Maybe he’s not as bad as he seems?”

And so you did as Seungmin had instructed, doing what you would’ve always done, grabbing your boss’ morning coffee before going to the office, ‘leisurely’ making your way upstairs as you tried to avoid any possible suit-clad blond-haired man.

Upon reaching your desk, you’d set your things under your desk, opening your scheduler and doing a quick run through of Mr Bang’s schedule for the day, grabbing the coffee and knocking on the glass doors before entering.

“Y/N! Just the person I wanted to see.” You nodded, walking over to place his coffee onto his table.

“You have the board meeting in half an hour, sir,” you informed him.

“Right, thank you. Would you be a dear and be there to serve the refreshments?”

You nodded, “yeah, sure.”

“If all goes as planned, Chan- I mean, Chris, will be taking over from next week onwards. So this week will be the last week i’m here.”

You frowned, “it’s a shame you’re retiring, you know,” your disappointment was evident in your tone.

Mr Bang simply waved you off, “it’s about time, I’m sure little Chris will do a good job.”

You’d kept your mouth shut, nodding as he stood up with his coffee cup in hand, looking at you with a smile, “shall we head down a little earlier, then?”

You nodded, opening the door for him to exit and following him silently to the venue of the board meeting. You were surprised, to say the least, when you’d reached only to find Chris there already, currently in an animated conversation with one of the directors, smiling like you’d never seen before, dimples showing on his cheeks.

Excusing yourself quickly, you’d gone to the pantry to prepare the drinks, your time here having made you familiar with the respective directors drink preferences. Carrying your tray carefully, you’d pushed the door open with your hip, seeing all the directors seated already, all seeming fairly comfortable around Chris, only serving to make the feeling of dread build in the pit of your stomach.

Making your way around the table, you’d distributed the drinks to the directors personally, refusing to make eye contact with Chris as you gave him his stupid cup of tea.

Once the meeting had started, you’d dismissed yourself outside the room, a part of you trying to listen in on the board meeting but not being able to hear much through the thick panelled glass. You were surprised when barely half an hour had passed and you’d heard applause in the room, peeping through the window to see Mr Bang give you a signal that you could come in.

Pushing the door open carefully, you saw the directors practically lining up to congratulate Chris, leaving promptly after looking all-too satisfied with the outcome of the meeting.

Mr Bang was speaking to Chris as the rest of the directors were leaving, “well, I guess this means my work here is as good as done. I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to hear the news,” he pat Chris on the back.

You were about to head out with Mr Bang, eager to avoid Chris when you’d heard him speak, “Y/N, I’d like to speak with you for a moment. Is that alright?” He cast a look at his uncle, who waved him off.

“Of course, she’s not my secretary anymore, remember?” You cast Mr Bang a look of distress, seeing him chuckle before giving you a thumbs up, exiting the room happily.

You winced, turning around so you were facing Chris, seeing him walk over to where you were, holding out a thick bound stack of papers for you to take.

“What’s this?”

"A contract. You can pass it to me by the end of the day once you've made your decision. I trust that you're familiar with reading contracts?" he asked as you stared at the papers, flipping and scanning through the print, realising that his terms were considerably more demanding than his uncle.

"You'll be able to find an additional attachment where I list what I would expect in a secretary. Feel free to consult me if you're unclear about any of them, though I don't think you would need to."

Your eyes lingered on the section of the contract, stating that you would be on a year of probation, but that the contract could be terminated whenever he felt appropriate.

"Whenever you deem appropriate?" you scoffed, looking up at him in disbelief.

He smiled, "very pretty wording, don't you think?"

"That's all I wanted to say. Remember, I'll expect your response by the end of the day."

You stared blankly as he shrugged his jacket off, draping it on one arm.

"Go ahead, what are you waiting for? You can go for your lunch break now," he urged, before his features pulled into a look of realisation, "oh, forgot. That is, unless you would rather eat...what was that again? Beansprouts?"

Your mouth opened, making as if to retort before you shut your mouth quickly, your eyes widening as he walked over to you, his gaze intense and serious, a contrast to the demeanour he wore while chatting up the director previously.

"I can handle myself, you know," you attempted to defend yourself, watching as Chris had shrugged.

"You have one whole year to prove that to me."

In that one year of working for Chris, you'd learnt a lot of things. Not only about your position as a secretary, but about Chris, ( not to mention, just exactly how spiteful he could be ).

1. Sleep was a luxury.

In your first week as his secretary, Chris had surprised you with the sheer rate of progress he was aiming, and moving at. It was as if all the rumours you'd heard before about his work ethic were a gross understatement of his tenacity.

You'd been having trouble adjusting to his deadlines, especially since he had entrusted more tasks to you. From surprise presentations, to drafting up proposals and reports, not to mention submitting research to him. To you, it felt as if you were doing half the job for him.

In short, you had never missed Mr Bang more than you did then.

Of course, Seungmin being your voice of reason, would shut your rants down, claiming it was ‘about time you do your job’, but of course, you loved to complain. Especially since it was someone you didn't have very fond feelings for that was assigning you the work. You grew increasingly irritated in the time you were adjusting to your sleep schedule, which Chris, and your boyfriend had definitely noticed.

Because of your changes in brain activity levels, you assumed (google could only diagnose so much), whenever sleep came to you, you welcomed it with open arms. Since waking up had become even more of a chore to run over to the coffee shop and squeeze yourself between the crowd of working adults and panda-eyed college students to get his very specific breakfast order.

You'd gone home from a birthday party of your boyfriend and your mutual friend, things having gotten a little...out of hand at your boyfriend's apartment since it'd been so long since you'd been able to spend time together, not with you always falling asleep during video calls or refusing them altogether for the sake of getting your work done. You'd missed him, and something about being apart made you miss his touch.

Jolting awake, (as if your body had been able to tell that your sleep was too smooth), you'd instantly sensed that something was wrong when you saw the light streaming in from behind the curtains, knowing for a fact that you usually woke up when it was still a little dark out.

Turning around, you'd fumbled for your phone on the bedside table, letting out a loud gasp when you saw the time. You were already a whole half-hour late.

"Shit!"

Your boyfriend startled, letting out a groan, his arm still lazily draped over your stomach.

"Did my alarm ring?" you asked, shoving his hand off of you and groaning, slipping out of bed quickly as you put on your clothes from the day before, not having any more time to go back to your apartment and get a fresh change of clothes.

"I don't know, I didn't hear anything," you heard your boyfriend mumble from where he lay.

Cursing, you'd ran over to his bathroom, washing your face quickly, a gasp leaving your mouth as you inspected the angry marks on your neck through the mirror.

"I hate you so much," you tugged up the collar of your turtleneck, successfully hiding the marks when you’d let your hair down.

Grabbing your things, you'd sprinted downstairs, hailing the first cab you could see and heading to your office.

Was he going to fire me? You were still on probation, so there was no reason he couldn't, right?

You'd fixed your hair anxiously as you jogged into the lobby, your shoes clacking noisily against the floor as you ran into the lift, even debating on whether taking the stairs would have been a better idea as the lift went up at an achingly slow pace.

Finally reaching your floor, you’d made your way to the meeting room, tossing your bags outside the door and entering with your laptop, notebook and pen, keeping your head down and avoiding Chris’ gaze as he was presenting to the room.

Taking your seat at the only empty seat left, (unfortunately, closer to the front of the room), you’d let out a small sigh. Expecting to hear Chris comment on your tardiness or whatnot, you opened your laptop, picking up on the minutes where you could.

Keeping your head down, you’d felt your colleague from the marketing team lean over to you as Chris had given everyone some time to analyse what he was showing on the screen, his lack of a comment making you even more anxious.

“Your hair’s a mess,” she whispered, making you wince, your hand going up to comb your hair into a ponytail in your attempt to look neater, hearing your colleague gasp.

“Dude! Put your hair back down, your neck,” she whispered, your eyes immediately darting to Chris’ direction, seeing that he was in fact staring at your jaw and neck as well, turning away quickly, the reddening of his ears giving him away.

Your hands let go of your hair as though you were burned, hearing your colleague snicker beside you, “I see someone had fun last night. Was that why you were late, too?”

You shushed her as Chris cleared his throat, embarrassment flooding your senses as you continued to take minutes, hoping that he wouldn’t be as mad at you if you showed that you were trying your best. Fat chance, but hey, you could dream.

Chris had started to assign things that he’d wanted the different departments to focus on for the project at hand, flashing a slide of deadlines that you watched people scramble to confirm with their existing information. You were secretly hoping someone would hold him back with a question so that he was too busy to confront you.

Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case today. The meeting ended promptly, Chris leaving you in relative silence as you packed up your things, your colleagues giving you a look of sympathy as you followed him silently out of the room back to your desk.

“In my office, please,” he murmured.

You fiddled with your fingers, already anticipating for him to fire you.

“Can you explain to me what happened this morning?”

Your eyes widened, not daring to meet his gaze as it flickered between anything in the room other than him, “I uh..I didn’t um…I didn’t hear my alarm ring and nobody woke me up so I overslept.”

Chris’ stare was unwavering, leaning against his desk and folding his arms, “so is it not your responsibility to make sure you show up to work on time?”

“No, yeah of course it is—“

“Then I would like to see you be accountable for your mistakes,” he continued, “I’m not saying you can’t make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes. But if your mistake is what puts an entire room of people at an inconvenience, I would prefer if you were a little more apologetic about it.”

You’d let a short period of silence fall between the both of you, “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, your gaze fixed firmly on his shoelace, “am I fired?”

Chris let out a small sigh, shaking his head. “No, but, you know, if you ever let anything like this happen again, I won’t hesitate to fire you,” his voice was stern, annoyed almost.

“And Y/N, if this,” you looked up at him watching him gesture to his neck with his hand before gesturing back to you, making you cower, tugging your collar further up your neck, “is what’s the issue here. I’d suggest you start prioritising.”

“Sorry. It won’t happen again, I swear,” you rushed to speak, bowing quickly before exiting the room as fast as you could, wanting to tear your hair out in both annoyance and embarrassment.

You’d jumped when you heard the sound of your desk speaker, Chris’ voice sounding through the phone, “Is there a problem, Y/N?”

Your eyes widened, rushing over to your desk phone, shaking your head as you pressed the button to reply, “no, no! Not at all. There was just a… a bug here.”

Chris huffed, bringing his hand up to hide his amusement, watching you scramble to regain your composure.

2. Chris was a workaholic

It was seeing (and experiencing) all the late nights in the office and the erratic pattern of his emails on weekends that drew you to this conclusion. His routine of sleeping late and then proceeding to get up at ungodly hours to either get work done or give up on the idea of a smooth sleep, since you were aware that he tended to have trouble sleeping. Not to mention the way it seemed to you as if the top priority in his life was his work, wanting to do his best to get the company to where he wanted it to be.

After a few months of working for him, it was very clear to you that your job entailed not only taking care of his work, but taking care of him.

You were going over to the legal team's office to collect the binders Chan had left to them, seemingly needing one of them now, thankful to have spotted Seungmin along the way as he was leaving his desk.

Shooting you a look of sympathy, he'd peeked his head out to glance at your area, noticing everyone else in your team had gone home already.

"Working late again?"

You were sure you looked horrible, with bags under your eyes and your complexion looking dull from lack of sleep, but well, you had to earn a living, right?

You shot him a pointed look, "you know the rules, can't go home until the boss goes home," you heaved a pained sigh.

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if he even has a social life," you thought out loud, earning an amused grunt from Seungmin.

"I could say the same about you." You ignored his comment.

"What d'you need?" he asked, though you were already making your way to his superior's desk, grabbing the file and leaving a post-it to say it was with Chris.

"Nothing, just this." You let out a small grunt at the weight of the binder, your wrists aching from all the filing you'd done that morning and afternoon (you never did notice until now how inefficient Chris' uncle's document organization system was).

"All the best," he gave you a thumbs up, earning a pitiful pout from you before you'd headed back to Chris' office.

Knocking on his door, you'd heard him murmur for you to come in, pushing the heavy doors open with your shoulder as you shoved your way through the doors, placing the binder onto the coffee table where he'd had his documents and laptop laid out haphazardly.

Chan's hair was a mess, likely from running his hands through it as he worked, his tie discarded and the top few buttons of his shirt undone, looking at you with tired eyes.

He was about to ask you for some water, but you'd seemed to have read his mind, walking over to the table near his desk and pouring him a glass of warm water from the flask.

"I'm almost done with the filing, but I'll be outside so you can let me know if you need anything."

You'd felt your pocket buzz with a notification, momentarily taking your attention away from Chris.

Chris glanced at the files before looking back at you in thought, stopping you before you could exit the room, "actually, can you help me to write a report on this, I'll need this by tomorrow afternoon."

Knowing Chris' deadlines, that meant he would've needed it by tomorrow morning, which left you no choice other than to start working on it now.

Chris picked up a small file with a post-it note stuck onto the file, handing it to you.

"The points are all there. I would've done it myself but by the looks of it this is gonna take a while more than I expected," he sighed, his hands on his hips as he stared at the pile of papers in front of him in disdain.

Chris never would've admitted that he'd started preparing the post-it notes for you in case he wasn't able to complete his work in time, since he usually opted to write from his head, but he knew you worked better with structure. He'd only realised after starting to do it that it helped him draft the write-ups more concisely, so of course, the reason was always 'for his own convenience', never creating opportunities for you to think he actually tried accommodating to you.

"This current arrangement is very un-environmentally friendly," you mumbled, staring at the papers as well.

"I'll go get this done now," you gave him a nod, exiting his office as you pulled your phone from your pocket, the text from your boyfriend practically glaring at you, asking if you were able to meet that night.

10:47pm - sorry, working late :( gotta work on a report due tomorrow morning -

Biting back your disappointment at having to bail on your boyfriend again, you'd nodded resolutely, pulling up your delivery app to order food for Chris before you started on the report lest he start to get irritable because he was hungry.

And lastly, the point you couldn't quite seem to wrap your head around, was that

3. He was very nice, just...not so much to you.

After the oversleeping incident from before, it was safe to say you'd never let a similar mistake repeat itself. You were constantly making sure you were alert and responsive to anything Chris could possibly throw to you (and he knew this too).

The only downside Chris saw to this, was that it seemed as though your attitude towards the directors hadn't changed. Still swallowing their disgusting comments and serving them with a smile, even if they were looking everywhere but your face. It irked Chris. And it irked him even more that the only one you seemed to serve without a smile, was him.

Unbeknownst to him, you'd shared the same sentiments.

"Do you ever look at someone and wonder what is going on in their head?" you spoke.

Seungmin snorted, "wait, are you talking about the meme or..." your lack of a response made Seungmin follow your gaze (or glare) to where Chris was seated at the other end of the table, giggling and smiling as he spoke with the other secretaries.

"Ah," Seungmin nodded, understanding now why your spoon hadn't moved an inch from your bowl, your grip around it almost death-like.

"What are you so mad about? He's not doing anything?"

You shot Seungmin a pointed look, your voice lowering to a murmur, "can't you see it? With them he's all rainbows and unicorn shit but with me it's like just smiling would kill him."

You heard the secretaries letting out giggles and impressed sounds at something Chris had just said, the sound itself enough to make you annoyed.

Seungmin's eyebrows furrowed, looking at you in scepticism, "you know the secretaries are only being nice because they're interns, right? I heard from one of them that they're actually really scared of him."

Seungmin brought his chopsticks to his mouth, taking a piece of food from your bowl that he knew you weren't going to eat anyway, "especially after they saw how he spoke to you during the meeting the other day,"

You scoffed, "good to know that I was the warning."

Your phone buzzed, signalling a text from your boyfriend. Strangely enough, it'd been a while since you'd texted him, since you were busy with work and he was busy with school.

Ignoring it initially, too distracted by Chris, it wasn't long before you saw his caller ID show up on the screen, getting Seungmin's attention.

"I think you should answer that," he gestured, making you glance around the table in your hesitance, not knowing if it would be rude to just exit halfway.

Picking up the phone-call, you'd turned your head, lowering your volume to a murmur, "hello?"

"Hey, can we talk? I really need to tell you something."

You winced, "is it urgent? I'm at a team dinner right now."

Your boyfriend sighed, scoffing, "it really is always work with you, huh."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

You glanced at the table, standing up to excuse yourself. Chris's expression read confusion, eavesdropping on a secretary asking what happened, Seungmin replying that it was your boyfriend calling.

You'd made your way outside the restaurant, Chris glancing in your direction and spotting you walk past the restaurant's windows, a part of him shaking off whatever curiosity that lingered in him as he focused on his conversation. After all, you did tell him you could handle yourself, right?

Where you were, you'd moved to a quieter spot outside the restaurant, "okay, I can talk now. What's up?"

You kicked at the ground absently as you awaited his reply.

"Look, are you free to meet tonight? There's something I need to tell you."

"Uh..." you glanced into the restaurant, making eye contact with Chris before looking away, "I've got to work later, though. I need to get some research done for this review that i'm behind on, I don't wanna meet you if i'm just gonna end up on my computer while you're there, you know?"

Your boyfriend nodded, "you know, that's kind of what i wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh," a feeling of dread was building in your stomach, recognising your boyfriend's tone to be the one he used whenever he was talking about something serious.

The first time you heard it was when you witnessed him on a work phone-call, the second being how he spoke to your parents the first time they'd met, but this time, you had a feeling you knew what was coming.

"Let's break up."

You fell silent, not knowing how to respond to his words.

"Is it, um.... is it because of my work?" You asked, a part of you not being able to come to terms with the fact that it could have been your fault, "because you know I can't do anything about that."

Your boyfriend sighed, "I know. I'm just talking about how you've been so emotionally invested in your work you don't even have the energy to maintain this relationship."

You frowned, "what, what do you want me to do, quit my job? Will that be better for you?"

"Look, i've been seeing someone," he began. Your heart sank.

"And i'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason. But... it was only when I started seeing her that I realised... things between us just weren't the same as before."

Your heart felt heavy, a part of you knowing that he was making it a lot easier to be mad at him by confessing what he did, but another part of you couldn't help but prompt him further.

"When did it start?"

"That doesn't matter-"

You sighed, taking your lower lip between your teeth, "it's fine, I just wanna know."

"Fine, it was about a month in from you working for your new boss."

You nodded slowly, still trying to process his words. You weren't quite sure what came over you when you saw Chris exiting the restaurant, turning to face your direction and spotting you in the alley. But it was as if you were so mad at yourself, mad at him, mad at your boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend now), that you'd ended the call, shoving your phone into the pocket of your blazer before heading over to where Chris was.

"You guys aren't going home?" you heard one of the secretaries ask as you and Chris had approached his car, his driver already sitting in the car and waiting.

Chris shook his head with a smile, "nope, we're heading back to the office."

You mustered a smile as you bid them goodbye, you guessed this was probably the best time to bury yourself in your work as a poor coping mechanism after a breakup, as far as movie breakups went.

The car-ride was silent, despite the pinging of your phone, making you switch it to silent mode halfway, earning a curious look from Chris, though he didn't make to ask you about it.

Upon reaching the office, the both of you had gone back into your clockwork routine, as you sat in his office working on your computer and scribbling down on your notebook the important details you wanted him to check. Chris found that your background in law and journalism made it a lot easier whenever it came to reading and condensing information, which had only allowed him to trust you more when it came to getting tasks like that done, saving him precious time he could spend working on other things.

The buzzing of your phone was growing more frequent, though it was as if you were oblivious to it now as you typed away at your computer.

"Right, can you help to postpone tomorrow afternoon's meeting, and help me to make a reservation at the steak place, 2 people."

You hadn't made to move, pulling your phone out but having gotten distracted at the multitude of missed calls and texts just because your boyfriend wanted to 'make sure you were okay'. Please.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" you heard Chris call, snapping you out of your daze as his gaze searched your expression, trying to read your emotions.

"Sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't hear you."

Chris sighed, his annoyance at your phone that had lit up with a call again getting the better of him, "you know I don't ask you to stay later just for you to waste my time, you know."

Your gaze hardened. There it was, the side of Chris that you had the 'privilege' of being at the brunt of, nowhere near the smiley giggly Chris you witnessed at the restaurant just now.

"I said I was sorry. What do you want me to do?"

Chris huffed, his gaze darting to your phone as he spoke, "reservation for 2 people tomorrow afternoon, the steak place my mom likes. Postpone tomorrow afternoon's appointment with Director Lee." He told you slowly, his tone as if speaking to a young child, which only served to piss you off even more.

"Who's calling you?" he asked.

You shook your head in dismissal, "my...uh..." you weren't sure how to respond, watching dumbly as he made his way to where you were, lifting your phone to read the contact before letting out a huff.

"Okay, well you can tell your boyfriend that if you're gonna be this distracted at work, you can kiss your night goodbye."

You inhaled deeply, absolutely upset but knowing there wasn't much you could do about it. You loved your job, even though you hated to admit it. Ever since Chris came in, you were getting a lot more work experience and exposure, especially with how he would make it mandatory for you to attend certain language courses that would help him whenever you accompanied him on networking events or business galas.

And in that moment, you couldn't help but think back to what he'd said the first time he'd scolded you when he'd told you to figure out your priorities. Maybe your boyfriend called you at the right time, maybe you just weren't ready to focus on things other than your career at this point of time.

Turning your phone off, you'd made sure Chris saw that it was off, raising your hands up in surrender, "done. I'll book your stupid reservation now." You stalked out before Chris could chime in with a 'watch your tone'.

===

You'd been working for Chris for what was coming to 2 years now. The company had been reaping the results of their hard work for a while now, and you were thankful that even though you weren't as busy as before, you still managed to keep your job. Other than the fact that Chris’ hair was now back to dark brown, not much else had changed.

Although, one tiny change you were starting to wish for was that Chris would at least try to make things a little more bearable for you.

You were currently at a meeting with the directors where Chris was presenting the overview of the company's performance in the past month. You would have to say you were pretty satisfied with the work you'd both done on that, working a lot more efficiently now compared to when you'd first started out.

Your silent admiration of the presentation was interrupted when one of the directors summoned you over to ask for a cup of coffee.

Doing as you were told ( much to Chris' dismay ), you'd gone and come back in record time with his hot cup of coffee, bending down and making your way to where the director sat, not wanting to prevent any of them from seeing what Chris was presenting.

While he was presenting, it didn't take Chris very long to realise why the director had kept asking you for things, your position from where you were squatting next to him making it all-too-easy for him to ogle at you without you noticing.

For some reason, this seemed to have gotten on Chris' nerves, especially because that director's secretary was simply minding her own business at the back of the room.

Did Chris think what you were wearing that day was nice? He'd say he didn't but of course he did. But unlike the director, he preferred not to be so blatant about it, especially because you were always so rude towards him.

You'd tensed momentarily when the director had grabbed your arm, about to get up when you heard Chris' voice get louder.

"Y/N, I'd appreciate if you would stop distracting the directors and go back to your seat."

(Later on, Seungmin would be struggling to hold back his laughter in the printing room when Chan told him to tell you to button up your blouse a little more.

“Why can’t you just tell her yourself?”

Chan scoffed, “knowing her, she’s just gonna think I was looking at her… chest or something.”

Seungmin narrowed his eyes at Chan teasingly, “well, were you?”

Chan waved him off with a groan, “just tell her, okay? The directors are having a field day with her looking like that.”)

You'd almost scoffed at the way the director had immediately let go of you, and you straightened up quickly, heading back to sit with the other secretaries.

"That was harsh," you heard one of the secretaries murmur to you, making you shrug.

"Whatever, not like I expected more from him anyway."

(You did, you totally did. You'd kill for him to be less grating with his words).

After the meeting, you'd felt a phone ring in your bag, pulling it out to see that Chris' mom was calling, obviously not having been able to reach him. Making your way to where he was, you'd interrupted his packing of his things.

"Your mom is calling you," you'd told him out of habit, holding his phone out for him to take, jumping slightly when you'd heard one of the directors let out a dismayed grunt.

"Is that any way to talk to your boss?"

Your eyes widened, Chris seeming to be enjoying the situation play out before him as you regained your composure, looking back at Chris with a sickly sweet smile on your face. In front of the directors, you couldn't act up like how you usually did when it was just the both of you, so you had no choice but to be all smiles

"President Bang, your mother is calling you," you told him, and if you were annoyed, you didn't show it, having years of practice from dealing with the directors.

"uh-huh," Chris smirked, taking the phone from your hands and answering it as he gestured for you to help him gather his papers.

"No, mom. I’ve told you already, i’m really fine with how things are now. I'm not going on another one."

Not that you cared, but you had to admit you were kind of curious as to what he was so insistently refusing.

"Yes, okay, bye," he hung up, handing the phone back to you.

You'd tried your best to suppress your curiosity, seeing as he was about to be late for his next meeting with one of his friends if he hadn't hurried.

Fixing your blouse, you'd carried your laptop in your arm as you walked with him back to his office, with you going into the lift first, Chris having chosen the wrong time to step in as a girl you recognised as one of the interns had done so too, the number of people squeezing into the lift causing her to jerk her arm, her coffee landing unceremoniously on Chris’ tie and shirt.

Chris let out a hiss at the temperature of the liquid, eliciting a long string of apologies from the girl. You knew that if it was you that had spilled the coffee, he would be going on and on about carelessness now, but the intern obviously wasn’t you, and so you watched in envy as Chris had given her a smile, dismissing her apologies quickly.

“It’s fine, really. I just hope you still have some coffee left to drink,” he laughed.

Not only was he not upset, but he was joking with her too?

You scoffed, rolling your shoulders back as you’d watched the numbers on the elevator rise till it reached your floor, the girl looking scared for her life when you’d cast her a look, bowing to you apologetically.

“Where did you keep the spare change of clothes?” Chris asked as he’d begun loosening his tie.

You hadn’t responded as he let you walk before him into his office, making your way over to one of the cupboards at the side of the room and opening it, pulling out a hanger with a nicely ironed set of work clothes.

“You can go and get changed, I’ll wait here,” you murmured, Chris walking over to where you were and giving you his stained tie.

God, you hoped his dry-cleaning run wouldn’t make you late for your lunch appointment.

Looking at his tie, you brought it up closer to your face to inspect the material, it was a well-made tie, you had to say. Not too skinny, the material feeling almost luxurious in your hold, tempting you to put it on in your boredom.

Hanging it round your neck, you mustered your best ‘Chris accent’.

“You should be accountable for your mistakes! Don’t you know how many people you’re inconveniencing? Now I have a tie that reeks of coffee, look,” you held up the tie with a gasp, “and my secretary’s gonna be late for her lunch meeting!” You pointed accusatorially at the small black penholder that sat on his desk.

“Yeah! Do you know how much you’re inconveniencing me? I don’t ask you to show up to work to waste my time—“

You’d stopped in your tracks when you heard Chris clearing his throat, grimacing as you tried to regain your composure, taking off the tie as quickly as you could, holding it tightly in your palm as you turned to face him.

“Having fun?”

“No,” you shot back quickly, not even wanting to ask how long he’d been standing there.

Walking over to you, he’d handed you his stained shirt, his expression like that of a parent that had caught their kid doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing.

“You know, sometimes I wish you’d talk back to the directors like how you talk back to me.”

Your eyes widened, confused at his sudden comment, but not having the time to respond as Chris continued.

“Get these dry-cleaned over lunch. The stain’ll be harder to get out the longer you wait.”

You huffed, already walking away from him, “well, when you say it like that I’d might as well go do it now.”

You'd been keeping yourself busy with replying emails when you heard the elevator ding, the sound of footsteps getting louder before you saw a considerably young, suit-clad man walking towards your desk.

"I'm here to see Chris? I'm Director Kang," he told you, though you didn't need him to introduce himself, knowing very well who he was.

"He's in there," you held a finger up to signal him to wait as you picked up your desk telephone, pressing a button to page Chris.

"Director Kang's here to see you."

"Okay, send him in."

Chris closed the work he was doing on his desktop, making his way over to the leather couches as he saw his friend enter the room.

"Yo, when were you planning on telling me about your hot secretary?"

Chris' eyebrows raised, "didn't think that was something worth mentioning."

"Well, why not?" his friend frowned, his features pulling into one of shock, "wait, don't tell me... you guys are dating?"

Chris rolled his eyes, "no, we're not. And please, for both our sakes, don't try anything funny with her."

The director was about to respond, interrupted by your knocking on the door, the door opening slightly so you could enter.

"Can I get you anything? Like a drink? Coffee? Tea?" you asked.

The director simply looked at you curiously, sitting with his ankle resting on his other knee, "only if you'd care to join me."

Chris glared at his friend, shutting him up quickly before he could say anything more, "coffee for him, I don't want a drink."

You nodded, exiting quickly.

"What did you come to tell me about?"

"Must I have a reason to come and visit my beloved friend?"

Chris rolled his eyes, "my time is precious."

This made the director scoff, "is that your excuse now? Anyway, I came to ask if you were going for Brian's wedding next weekend."

"Oh, yeah, right. He asked me about it last night and I said I would go, you?"

Director Kang rolled his eyes, "can't, I've got a business trip that weekend."

Chris hummed in acknowledgement, "that reminds me. I should get a gift for them soon. Who'd he say he was marrying again?"

"This girl he met at work, she's nice. But, you know, not my type."

As if that wasn't enough, Director Kang continued, "anyway, are you bringing a date?"

He was interrupted once again by the sound of your knocking, the door opening as you made your way over to them, bending to place the cup of coffee down onto the table, making Director Kang gesture to you with his head, mouthing 'you should bring her'.

Waving him off, Chris was eager to get Director Kang’s attention away from you, almost as if wanting to protect you from getting swayed by him, knowing the outcome was never too bright.

"Y/N, you can go for an early lunch break today."

Your eyebrows raised, the prospect seeming almost too good to be true. Since when was he so nice?

"Huh? But I still have some stuff to hand the legal team..." you sounded unsure, though you did consider this to be luck since you were supposed to meet one of your friends from college for lunch today.

Chris gave you a stern look, waving you off, making you raise your hands in surrender.

“Okay, okay, I’ll go.”

On your way out, you’d texted your friend that you were gonna be able to meet earlier, pleasantly surprised when she’d told you she was already in the area and that she was able to head over now.

You’d managed to drop off Chris’ clothes for dry-cleaning before heading to the restaurant, spotting your friend already seated at your table.

“Hey! Wow, you look great!” She told you, giving you a hug in greeting.

“Feel a lot better compared to last year,” you joked, making her frown.

“Your boss still giving you trouble?”

Shrugging, you’d taken a seat, “nothing out of the ordinary. Seems like it’s part of his daily routine to annoy me.”

She laughed, “I ordered our food already, if you don’t mind.”

Shaking your head, you waved in dismissal, “no, yeah, I don’t mind. Thanks. Anyway, you look pretty good yourself, how’ve you been?”

You didn’t miss the way she’d leaned closer to you, tucking her hair behind her ear in a pointed gesture, drawing your attention to the large gemstone on her ring.

Your eyes widened, “no way.”

She nodded, “I wanted to tell you sooner but you were so busy! I was glad enough I managed to squeeze in this lunch with you,” she told you, making you pout.

“When’s the wedding?” You asked.

“Next week. We’re going to have it in this beautiful church out of town, really really nice place,” she told you, “really romantic, too,” she added as an afterthought.

You let out a deep sigh, “I hope you’re not going where I think you’re going with this.”

She gave you a scandalised look, pausing as the waiter had come to deliver your food, “first of all, Brian has a lot of good-looking friends!”

You gave her a look, prompting her to continue, “well, not that I’ve seen all of them but he tells me that a lot of them are single! And you know who else is single…” she pointed her finger towards you with an overly excited glint to her grin.

“We’ve been through this a million times, Eujin. I’ve tried but it’s really hard to find a guy that’s willing to cope with… you know, my kind of schedule,” you gave her a tired (wistful) sigh, “and with my schedule, I doubt I have the time, not to mention the energy to date.”

Eujin’s lips twisted into a frown, “but it’s been so long! Don’t you want to get back in the dating scene?”

You scoffed, cutting into your food harshly before taking a bite.

“Of course I do. But the last time I went on a date the guy basically shat on me for being a workaholic,” you huffed, “I mean, my boss’ working hours means my working hours, shouldn’t they just shit on him instead? Why is it my fault that he’s basically destroyed what I have left of a social life.”

Eujin shot you a look of sympathy, “I’d say I pitied you, but it’s not like you can’t get a job anywhere else, you know?”

You’d kept your mouth shut at that, “I know… it just… I can’t just leave when I’ve already gotten so used to how things work here.”

Of course that was one reason, but you would never admit that there was a nagging inside of you that didn't trust Chris to look after himself if you weren't here, remembering how he'd overworked himself during a crucial period after he took over the company, and you'd found him passed out on his desk when you showed up to work that day.

You'd sort of made a silent promise that as much as you didn't like him, you still cared for him in a way. In the way a secretary would care for her boss, totally.

You decided to change the topic, not wishing to talk about your hopeless love life at the moment.

“What’s the program gonna be like?”

Eujin’s eyes lit up, setting her cutlery down as she clasped her hands together, “Okay, so. The plan is for it to be a sort of weekend-long thing,” she told you, holding her finger up.

“Firstly, on Thursday night we’ll have a little girls night type thing, and then Friday is the rehearsal dinner, Saturday will kind of be a little rest day and then Sunday is the actual wedding,” she said, now holding up four fingers to you.

Your head was spinning at the (rather enticing) thought of taking basically 4 days off of work, before the dread settled in that you had to ask Chris for permission to take those days off.

“I hope my boss will let me take time off…” you murmured, already rehearsing in your head possible ways on how you could tell him.

Eujin gave you a resolute look, “you can do it! If he says no just let me know, I’ll go over to your fancy office and fight whoever he is myself.”

===

“How many days?”

Chris had asked at your desk as he prepared to leave to meet his mom for lunch since she’d happened to be in the business district.

You fiddled with your pen anxiously, “uh..4 days? Technically 3 and a half. But 2 of those are weekends I just need you to make sure you just don’t bother me on that weekend it’s a really important weekend.”

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, unsure why you were so insistent on him leaving that weekend alone, nodding slowly.

Whatever, he figured, she’s just lucky I’m busy that weekend too.

“Okay.”

“I swear I’ll—wait, you’re okay with it?”

Chris shrugged, straightening his tie, “yeah. I’ve got something on that weekend too.”

You let out a surprised hum, “oh… cool. Thanks…Mr Bang,” you added as a force of habit, not wanting to risk getting scolded for ‘insubordination’ again just because you didn’t call him by his honorific.

Chris huffed, leaving before you could see his ears reddening.

Over lunch, Chris’ mom had been inspecting him carefully as he ate, as if the answer to her worries lay in every piece of sushi he ate.

“Is there something you’re not telling me? Are you… gay?” She asked, continuing, “because if you are you know you can just tell me, instead of constantly upsetting the girls I try to set you up with.”

Chris gave her a unamused look, “mom, I’ve told you a thousand times. I would really love to date, but it’s hard to find someone with a similar work ethic as myself, that can keep up with my… lifestyle and who really understands my needs, you know?”

This made Chris’ mom perk up, “that’s it! Why don’t you just date your secretary!”

Chris almost choked on his sushi, fumbling to grab his glass of water to calm himself down and compose himself.

“What,” he spoke between coughs, “gave you that idea?”

His mom looked at him in disbelief, “whatever you just said, you were basically describing her, no? And plus, we’ve heard a lot of wonderful things about her from your uncle.”

Chris couldn’t help but entertain the possibility in his head. It was true, you did work at a very efficient pace with him, not to mention how spending almost everyday in such close contact with him made you understand his own needs and wants even better than he did on occasions. Chris shook his head, that wasn’t possible, right? You looked as though you’d absolutely hated him half the time, he’d be expecting too much from you if he’d expected you to fall for him.

Chris shook his head, dismissing the thought from both him and his mom’s minds quickly, “no, mom. I’m fine with how things are between us right now.”

Chris had let you leave the office earlier on Thursday, (much to your surprise) allowing you to have ample time to pack your bags and get a cab to the destination, Eujin having taken the liberty and helped you book your hotel beforehand.

Upon reaching, you’d texted Eujin saying you’d reached.

eujin 6:54pm -yay!! Lets just chill in one of our rooms, we can discuss it in the chatgroup!!-

Trust her to be excitable even about the smallest things.

You saw an incoming text from Seungmin.

seungmin (personal) 6:54pm -what where r u I went over to find u but both u and Chris weren’t here-

6:55pm -im at a friends wedding, took the weekend off-

seungmin (personal) 6:55pm -wow finally using your employee perks nvm then have fun-

You’d checked in, marvelling at the cozy yet elegant look of the hotel as you made your way through the lobby, letting the lift take you up to your hotel room floor.

Changing into more comfortable clothes, you’d seen the group chat saying to gather in Eujin’s room, with mentions of ordering pizza. Considering this was your first weekend away from work in a very, long while, you were determined to make the most of it, heading over to Eujin’s room.

You hadn’t expected to be welcomed as warmly as you were, hearing comments of ‘we were so happy you could make it!’ Or ‘thank God you could take time off!’, sharing the same sentiments as them as you’d let Eujin pull you onto the bed, the softness of the sheets and pillows instantly making a content sigh leave you.

“I ordered room service,” Eujin sing-songed, gesturing to the Champagne bottles and whatnot on the tray next to the bed.

“I’ll have one,” you raised your hand, earning a laugh from one of your friends.

“Tired from work?”

You let out a loud groan, nodding. This made Eujin nod gravely, “I swear, if I ever see your boss in real life, I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind.”

You scoffed, “you don’t even know what he looks like.” You’d gratefully accepted the glass of champagne that was handed to you. "and plus, he's not that bad, other than the fact that he finds joy in pissing me off. He just works too hard in my opinion."

You’d spent your time enjoying the once chance you could relax to your heart’s content without feeling dread at having to wake up early the following day, enjoying yourself as you leant against the headboard of the bed, listening to stories about how they’ve been and how all of them were either planning on getting engaged soon, were in long-term relationships or already married.

“You guys make me wanna get married too,” you pouted, earning bouts of laughter from them.

“You’d have to actually date to do that, you know,” they told you pointedly, making you sigh.

“You’re basically married to your job, already,” your friend chimed in, making you laugh.

“Seems like that, doesn’t it? I was super shocked he’d let me have the weekend off, usually he’d be swarming me with emails about now.”

“I’m excited to see Brian’s friends tomorrow, maybe there’ll be someone that catches your eye,” Eujin told you, making you shrug.

“Just out of curiosity, though, what are you looking for in a guy? You know, we could help you keep an eye out too.”

You hummed, shrugging.

“I’ve never really thought of a specific…criteria I guess. I guess I’d just like someone that’s kind, looks out for me, doesn't underestimate me...sort of has the same lifestyle as me? Since it’s honestly been really hard to find someone that doesn’t hate my schedule.”

You'd almost scoffed at the way your brain had refused to picture anyone else other than Chris while you thought about it, figuring it was probably because he was the only guy you were in constant contact with.

Eujin looked at you resolutely, “we’ll do our best,” she held up a fist in an action to cheer you on.

You shrugged, You figured maybe going into this with an open mind would do you some good.

You changed the topic, directing the focus back to Eujin, “whatever, let’s just have fun, it’s your big day soon, let’s just celebrate!”

===

At the rehearsal dinner, you had yet to arrive, since you’d spent a little longer getting ready, choosing to use your opportunity to dress up a little more, not having the luxury to do so during your usual work days.

You had texted Eujin that you were on the way with some of the other bridesmaids, her attention directed elsewhere when her fiancé had called her over.

“Hey, wanted you to meet some of my friends from law school.”

While being introduced, Eujin couldn’t help but wonder if they were single, remembering your mentioned criteria from the night before.

“Oh, so are you guys all working in the law sector now?”

Her husband shook his head, “All of them, except Chan here. He’s the ceo of Bang Mobile Media company.”

Eujin’s eyes widened, glancing at the brown-haired boy cautiously, as if sizing him up. Y/N worked in a mobile company too, right? If she was remembering this correctly. Was it mobile or broadcasting?

“Oh, wow. That’s impressive.”

Eujin had let them introduce themselves more, not being able to help but think that Chan was nice, friendly, and rich on top of that?

“I don’t get it, how are you single? You’re basically the whole package!” She wondered out loud, making Chan flush, giggling as he shook his head.

Her husband seemed to have begged to differ, “Chan is incorrigible when it comes to his love life.”

Eujin raised her eyebrows in surprise, not having expected someone so good-looking to have such a fate, “really? Is there a reason behind that?”

“He’d never dated much, even back when he was in Australia. He was always super dedicated to his work,” this had served to make Eujin even more positive about this guy’s prospects as a suitor for you.

“Oh my god, you’re exactly like one of my friends, I should totally introduce her to you when she comes later.”

“Hey, cut him some slack,” one of his friends had spoken up, “Chan can’t cheat on his job.”

Eujin felt her phone vibrate signalling a notification, pulling it out to see that you’d arrived already, excusing herself and practically running over to the entrance of the venue. “Chan, you stay put, I have just the perfect girl to introduce you to!”

“Y/N! You have to come quick, I think I found the perfect guy for you.”

Your eyes widened, clutching onto the chain of your bag as you followed her into the room.

“He’s really nice, and friendly, and he’s good-looking! Really cute dimples! And on top of that he’s loaded. I’m so excited for you to meet him.”

Letting her drag you along, you’d distracted yourself with the atmosphere of the area, wondering just how much it would cost to book a venue like this, tugging down your dress that was hiking up from practically running after Eujin.

“Hey, I have someone I’d like you to meet. Chan, this is Y/N,” Eujin chirped, the names causing the both of your heads to shoot up, locking eyes with each other as a feeling of doom built in the pit of your stomach.

Your eyes widened in panic, glancing down at your attire, back to him, who was dressed in a flowy black shirt that you were sure cost more than your one week’s pay, the top few buttons of his shirt undone to reveal a simple silver necklace, and fitted black pants, your gaze landing on the small silver rings on his ears, almost feeling as though you were looking at a different person.

Chris thought so too, seeming to have the same panic as you as he tried not to let his gaze linger too long on your dress, nodding his head at you in greeting, “nice to uh…meet you.”

His ears had felt hot as you nodded back at him, almost startling when Eujin had cheered, leaning over to whisper to you, “I’ll make sure you guys get to sit next to each other.”

You were about to protest when she’d left, leaving you standing at the bar with Chris.

“So, Y/N, how do you know the bride to be?”

You gulped, wanting to slap yourself for how your gaze had kept returning to Chris, unable to shake the feeling of needing to be in work-mode now with his presence before you.

“Oh, uh, we were friends since college,” you answered simply.

“Cool, did you guys have the same major?” Chris had to stop himself from glaring at his friend, a strange feeling inside of him as he recognised the look on his friend’s face and his posture to be that which he used whenever he was interested in a girl.

You shook your head, “uh, not quite. I majored in law but she majored in journalism.” You tried to respond as calmly as you could, not being able to shake Chris’ gaze off of you, feeling as though at any moment he was going to call you out for something you weren’t even aware of.

You saw the guy practically light up at the mention of law.

“Woah, that’s really coincidental. All of us met in law school,” he gestured to the group of them, making you laugh nervously.

“Where are you guys um… dates?” You asked, immediately regretting the question when you saw the way Chris was practically glaring at you.

You didn’t understand why he was glaring at you, wasn’t it a valid question?

“We didn’t bring dates, unfortunately. Did you?”

You shook your head, making Chris snort. “Does it look like she brought a date? She literally came in alone.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, unsure where his spitefulness was coming from, especially when his friend was just trying to make conversation with you.

You scoffed, folding your arms. “Yeah, pity. Maybe I’d have time to date if I wasn’t always so busy running around doing shit for my boss,” you cast a pointed glance at him, bringing a hand up to nonchalantly run it through your hair.

Chris smirked, two could play at this game.

“Same here, I’d probably have the time to date too if my secretary wasn’t always causing trouble.”

“Your secretary?” His friend spoke up, “I heard from someone she was pretty cute, and nice too.”

You’d almost wanted to agree, realising that if you did it would put you in a pretty compromising position, simply acting surprised.

“If I had a secretary like that, I’d just date her,” one of his friends had spoken up, making your eyes widen, wracking your brain for possible responses.

“Who knows, are you a workaholic?” You asked pointedly, earning amused grunts and laughs from his friends, “ah… it’d be too bad if I was your secretary, then. I absolutely can’t stand dating workaholics.”

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, the both of you knowing you were just as bad at him, replying calmly, “oh, you can’t stand dating workaholics? Me neither.”

You were thankful that Eujin had given you a small break when she'd invited everyone to take their seats so dinner could be served, wincing when you'd ended up sitting next to Chris out of habit, momentarily forgetting that you weren't attending a networking session.

You'd hoped and prayed that you wouldn't slip up more than you already did. As much as you'd wanted to spite him, he was still your boss, and you knew he'd give you an earful for even the slightest hint of disrespect ( which you were sure you'd surpassed already ).

Focusing on the gorgeous food they'd served you, you saw the waiter pick up the bottle of wine, pouring it for you.

Having been oblivious, the waiter was about to pour a glass for Chris as well, making your secretary-instincts kick in, your arm darting across Chris to stop the waiter in time.

"No, Mr Bang, you shouldn't drink that."

Chris would have looked fairly amused if he wasn't stressed out by your proximity, with you practically leaning over him to speak to the waiter.

You'd cursed internally, wincing at the way Chan's friend had looked at you, tilting his head in confusion.

"Mr Bang? And how do you know his alcohol preference?"

Chris let out a nervous giggle as you straightened up, "uh...well um like...you know it's a really funny story actually... we're um..."

Not being able to bear his awkward fumbling any longer, you'd butt in, "We work in the same company. Yeah."

You were lucky his friend had bought it, simply nodding in understanding, "no wonder, you guys were being so weird just now."

Chris scoffed, "what weird?"

You turned around in your chair, pretending to pick up your bag, "stop, you're making it worse," you murmured so he could hear you, making him bring his glass of water to his lips.

One of your girl friends had spoken up, halfway through the meal, "wait, i just realised. If you guys work in the same office, then you must know her boss right? That dude is crazy. We all thought it was a miracle that she could take time off for the wedding,"

You glared at your friend, trying to subtly shake your head in your attempt to stop her, but she was oblivious, "she doesn't like it when we badmouth him but it's true! Ever since she started working for him it's like her social life just disappeared. Her boss is always her first priority."

You'd never related more to how people said they wished the ground would swallow you whole. Looking down at your food, you'd tried to remain nonchalant about it, but Chris who was next to you was looking at your friend with wide eyes.

"Oh, really? What else does she say about him?"

You laughed nervously, waving your hands in dismissal, "nothing that concerns you."

Chris turned to you, dropping his volume to a murmur, "is that so? because i'm hearing all this and i'm getting the feeling it definitely concerns me."

You let out a huff of anxious laughter, bringing your glass to your lips, consuming your drink in sips because your boss was sitting next to you, but secretly wishing you could down it all in one go.

Soon enough, all your anxious sipping had made you reach an empty glass, the waiter coming over to refill it for you, earning an eyebrow raise from Chris.

"Leave me alone," you huffed.

Chris simply laughed, "what? I didn't say anything."

You'd tried to pay attention to the proceedings of the wedding rehearsal, and after dessert was served people had started to mingle around more, the drinks having started to kick in as you'd felt a lot more relaxed.

It was safe to say Eujin was as well, going around to talk to the guests and thank them for coming out of town for the celebrations.

Soon enough, you were almost done with your fourth glass, oblivious to the way Chris was looking at you, impressed yet concerned. Feeling skinny arms drape over your shoulders, you turned your head to see none other than Eujin, cooing at you affectionately.

"Tell your boss a huge thank you for letting you have this weekend. I couldn't even get to see you on my birthday or for the engagement party, but i'm so so glad you're here now."

You couldn't help but glance at Chris, knowing that you'd missed both of those events because you were helping him with something. The first being when he'd almost overworked himself enough to warrant a visit to the hospital since he hadn't been sleeping or eating well (after that, you swore you'd make sure this man was getting his three meals if you could help it), and the second time being when you had to accompany him to a keynote session out of town.

You were starting to think maybe there was a little more to unpack behind your reasons why you stayed working for Chris Bang. Your only consolation at this point of time being that the rehearsal dinner was ending soon, meaning that you could finally escape the suffocating tension you were feeling.

"Wanna hitch a ride back together? I drove here."

You'd almost declined, feeling as if you didn't have a right to be in his car if it wasn't work-related. Chris had seemed to sense your hesitation, simply not waiting for a reply and walking off, hoping his smile wasn't too obvious when he'd heard you jogging to meet his pace.

He'd surprised you even more when he'd opened the passenger door for you, shutting it gently after you'd gotten in.

You'd given in to the comfort of his car almost immediately, more-so when Chris had gone to take something from the boot of his car, getting into the driver's seat and draping the soft blanket over your lap.

"The drive back's pretty long, might wanna make yourself comfortable."

And you were comfortable, very comfortable. Chris had started to play some music from his playlist, something about his behaviour almost making you forget that he was the same boss that had worked you to the bone for over a year.

"I'm sorry," you suddenly spoke, once you were in the city, "about what my friends said," you weren't sure where all your courage was coming from, maybe it was the many glasses of wine, but whatever it was, it was putting Chris in an awfully reflective mood.

"And what I said," you added as an afterthought.

Chris took his lower lip between his teeth, shaking his head, “nah, don’t worry about it.”

Obviously, that seemed too good to be true, and you’d looked over at his expression in your attempt to figure out if he was being sincere. He was definitely gonna fire you.

“I’m not gonna fire you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just kind of…like, you know, wondering,” he began, “the uh… engagement party and the birthday party that you um… you know, that you missed. Were they both because of me?”

You pursed your lips, nodding, “but it wasn’t your fault, you know. The first one was when you’d passed out… you know, at the office, remember?”

He nodded, prompting you to continue, “the next one was a keynote session that I had to follow you to.”

Chris gulped, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. This whole time he wouldn’t have guessed you’d been giving up these things for him from how willing you’d seemed to work. Was this considered neglecting the needs of my employee? Probably. But whatever it was, Chris knew that he was being harsh on you more for his own sake than yours, but he was only starting to realise now that that might not have been such a good tactic.

Chris was already pulling into the hotel, stopping at the valet services as you’d slung your bag over your shoulder, Chris coming out to open your door for you, making you grimace, feeling as though you should've been the one to open it for him.

Walking into the hotel lobby, you'd glanced at your phone, seeing as Eujin had texted you tomorrow's plans, "did you get the schedule for tomorrow? I can forward it to you-"

Chris let a giggle escape him, nodding, "you know they would've sent it to me too, right?"

Your lips parted in realisation, nodding as you went over to press the lift button before he could even reach over to do so, "right, forgot."

You were sure it was something about your intoxicated state that was making you instinctively go into work mode, whatever relaxation you thought you would be getting on this weekend now seeming all too far from reach.

"Uh... I can check what time the hotel serves breakfast and arrange for something to be sent to your room if you want-"

"Y/N," his tone was enough to make you straighten up, goosebumps rising on your skin for some reason.

Chris was looking at you in amusement, one hand shoved into his pocket, "you're not working, remember? This is your rest weekend."

Your eyebrows knit in a frown, chewing on your lip as you averted your gaze, "I know but it's just... like I didn't expect to see you here and now that you are I can't help but feel like I'm at work or something," you'd turned to wonder what was taking the elevator so long, watching as the numbers had gone lower and lower, completely skipping your floor and heading to the carpark.

"You know what? How about this," he began, pausing momentarily when you heard the elevator ding, stepping inside the empty elevator and pushing your floor button, your heart almost stopping when he hadn't made to press any button.

"You're on the 14th floor too?" He nodded.

"Anyway, as I was saying. To make things easier for you, let's just pretend we don't know each other, that i'm not your boss, you're not my secretary. We're just... two people that met at a wedding? You don't have to do anything for me as long as we're here, hmm?" he offered, seeming to sense your hesitance

"Look, I'll go first," he stretched his hand out as if to ask for a handshake, "hello, nice to meet you, i'm Chan."

"Chan?"

He nodded, "my friends call me Chan. People only call me Chris at work."

You'd brought your hand up slowly, grasping his in yours, the cold metal of his rings against your skin more obvious when he'd given your hand a small squeeze.

"Nice to meet you, Chan. I'm Y/N?" you tried, looking at him for approval and earning a nod from him, trying your best to ignore the way he was smiling.

"Yes, that's your name," he laughed.

Letting go of his hand, you were thankful the elevator had reached your floor without any interruptions, realising just how lucky you were to have not bumped into him earlier on as he'd continued walking with you to your room, gesturing to the door opposite your room with wide eyes.

"My room's here."

You made to take out your hotel room key, hearing him clear his throat, and you'd turned around rapidly to face him, strangely eager to know what he was about to say.

"Say, Y/N, I'd love to, you know, get to know you more. What do you think about getting brunch with me tomorrow?”

You opened and closed your mouth for lack of a response. This was inappropriate, right? But then again, you weren’t working this weekend. And technically, in this situation, Chan wasn’t your boss. So, there was nothing to lose.

You nodded, “Yeah. That sounds…nice.”

===

“Sounds kind of suspicious if you asked me,” you heard Seungmin’s voice over the speaker, making you sigh. You were already ready, lounging on your bed as if to mentally prepare yourself for a stupid lunch.

“Right? I don’t know what he’s trying to get out of this.”

Seungmin knew. But it’s not as if he was going to tell you, no, that was Chan’s job not his. Frankly, he’d had enough of listening to the both of you whine about your apparent personal vendetta against each other. He watched his fair share of movies, Seungmin knew how these things worked.

“Maybe it’ll give you a chance to actually talk to each other like normal human beings instead of just bickering all the time for no reason.”

“I have a reason, I’ll have you know.”

Seungmin scoffed, “really? Enlighten me, then.”

You’d fumbled for a reason, stuttering in your failure to find something that validated your annoyance towards Chan.

“I don’t know, his dimples are stupid.”

Seungmin wanted to laugh, “so you’re telling me, you just can’t stand him because of his stupid dimples?”

Your attention was diverted when you’d felt your phone vibrate, signalling an incoming text from Chan.

boss 11:20am -meet u outside your hotel room in 10?-

“Shit, he wants to meet me in 10 minutes.”

Seungmin shrugged, “10 minutes is more than enough time for you to come up with a less shitty reason why you don’t like him. Or for you to realise that you don’t actually hate him.”

You scoffed, burying your face into your sheets as you thought of a reason.

“Okay, I’ve got it. I just don’t like how he treats everyone so nicely and then treats me like I’m some incompetent kid.”

“You know for a fact he doesn’t think you’re incompetent. He literally trusts you more than he does the other staff.”

You scoffed, “yeah, whatever. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s so condescending about it, he thinks of me i’m some kid that doesn’t know anything.”

Seungmin snorted, remembering the incident where Chan had asked him to tell you to button up your blouse after the directors behaviour during a meeting.

“Oh, he definitely doesn’t see you as a kid,” Seungmin cackled, earning an eye roll from you.

Glancing at the time, you saw how it was almost 11:30, “okay, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

Ending the call, you’d slung your small bag around your shoulder, giving one last glance at your appearance in the mirror in the bathroom before leaving your hotel room, startling when you’d spotted Chan there.

Dressed in a black pullover and jeans, Chan smiled at you, bringing a hand up to touch his ear, “morning,” he greeted.

“Good morning,” you huffed nervously.

He’d already begun walking, making you follow beside him, “did you get a good sleep?”

His eyebrows raised at your question, nodding at you. His hair was curlier than usual, not styled up like you usually saw. “you?”

You nodded, following him in silence as you’d gone down the list, realising he’d pressed the ground floor instead of where they were serving food on the 3rd floor.

“You pressed the wrong floor,” you began, not expecting to see the pleading smile on his face.

“Actually, I was thinking of bringing you to this place nearby, I’ve been there before and it’s pretty good.”

Your first thought was to wonder if it was expensive, knowing that this time you didn’t have the company card to fall back on.

“Is it expensive?” You asked, seeing him shrug.

“Not really.”

Only when you’d reached the area did you realise how much of an understatement Chan made. The restaurant was a small cozy-looking place that served food that you’d only heard of up till now, located along a line of boutiques selling unusual trinkets and handmade items.

Upon reaching, you and Chan had been led up upstairs to an outdoor seating area of the restaurant, the view of the scenery accompanied with the breeze instantly putting you in a relaxed mood.

“Do you like it?” He asked, almost sounding nervous.

Nodding reassuringly, you’d wanted to run away when you saw the way he’d walked over to where you were, pulling your chair out for you to sit on, making you flush. Never in your life would you have thought your boss would be pulling out your chair for you.

“You know, you don’t have to do that,” you told him, using the menu to hide your face from view, pulling it down slightly to watch how he’d rest his forearm on the table, scanning through the menu with a smirk on his face, his (stupid) dimples appearing on his cheeks.

“I wanted to. You’d never let me do it for you on any other occasion.”

You had to admit that there was some truth to what you were saying, choosing to change the subject by telling him you’d decided on what you wanted to eat, choosing something that was still within your budget for the weekend.

Beckoning the waiter over, Chan pushed his sleeves up to his elbows as he ordered for the both of you, the waiter asking what drinks you would want, a teasing smile on Chan’s face when you’d insisted on water.

“What?” You scoffed, earning a shake of the head from him.

“Nothing.”

You’d leant back in your seat, about to tie your hair up into a ponytail, hearing the buzzing of your phone, reading the caller id to see that it was your mom trying to video call you.

Sitting up quickly, you were about to excuse yourself when Chan had reached over, swiping to answer the call as he lifted the phone, pointing it towards you, his other hand beckoning for you to continue.

“Hey, mom,” you spoke through gritted teeth, your rubber band between your teeth as you worked quickly to bunch your hair into a ponytail, Chan wanting to slap himself with how his ears had started to feel hot.

“Hey, honey. Where are you? I called the office but they said you were on leave?”

You secured your hair, taking the phone from Chan with a grateful murmur of ‘thanks’, making your mother’s eyes narrow, “who are you with?”

“I’m attending Eujin’s wedding this weekend. I’m just uh…with a friend.”

Chan looked away to clear his throat, catching your mom’s attention, “guy? I thought you told me you weren’t dating anyone.”

This had caught Chan’s attention, having remembered Seungmin telling him that you’d broken up with your boyfriend.

“No, yeah, mom it’s just a friend. Can I call you later?”

Your mom’s eyebrows lifted, looking at you with a cheeky smile on her face, “oh, oh. Yes, of course you can. Have fun, baby.”

You hung up quickly, shoving your phone back into your bag, looking up at Chan in question as to why he looked so surprised.

“Your mom doesn’t know you have a boyfriend?” He asked, as if wanting that confirmation for himself, not feeling comfortable with pursuing his feelings if you were still in a relationship.

You shook your head, “no uh…I broke up with my boyfriend a long time ago.”

Chan’s lips pursed, nodding, “oh… sorry.”

You shook your head, not being able to help a breathy laugh from leaving you, “don’t be. He was…it was for the best.”

“D’you mind if I ask why? You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, I’m just kind of…curious.”

You shrugged, not feeling as inclined to hide the information, since it was in the past now.

“Nah he just… our schedules always clashed and I was always too tired by the end of the day to go out to find him and I guess it like, you know, sort of reached a point where I started prioritising my work and it didn’t work out.”

Chan nodded slowly, the waiter coming over to serve you your food, “go ahead, you can start eating first.”

You shook your head, insisting on waiting for his food to arrive before starting. “But I’m honestly fine now, it’s been more than a year since we broke up.”

Chan huffed in amusement, “is that why you said you can’t stand dating workaholics?”

Your giggles bubbled out of you, “honestly, I only said that to spite you. I’d much rather date someone that understands my schedule and reaches a compromise with me instead of just always expecting me to drop everything at their beck and call.”

Chan nodded, “I get that. Yeah, work is important and all but… I feel like if you really loved someone you’d find any moment you could to be with them. Well, for me at least.”

You laughed, “kind of hard, when we spend almost every waking moment with each other.”

You’d looked up from your food when Chan hadn’t responded, the waiter finally coming over to serve his food, though his expression remained, looking at you as though he’d wanted to say something.

“yeah,” he huffed eventually, starting to eat his food.

You’d shocked yourself with how comfortable you were in his presence with the knowledge that you weren’t working. This was what you wanted, wasn’t it? To have Chris treat you nicely like how he did the other employees. Only now you were realising how easy it was to catch feelings for him just from this one change.

Maybe you were kind of thankful he made it easier for you to hate him previously.

It was true that you understood him better than most, and that he understood you as well, knowing what got on your nerves and what didn’t, how you worked and how you responded to things. Albeit there were a few things he still didn’t understand, you couldn’t deny that Chan was well-liked in the office for a reason, and you were beginning to experience that reason for yourself.

Chris had been mulling over what his mother had told him about you, wondering if you were feeling the same tension that he was even as you talked about pointless things that made you wonder why you hadn’t talked about them sooner.

Not that it was a bad kind of tension (or maybe it was), but it was akin to the feeling of knowing that you would both have to confront a realisation soon.

“Are you doing anything tonight?” He asked as you were heading back to the car, earning a shrug from you.

“My friends wanted to have some kind of girls night thing, you?”

He sighed, nodding, “same, the guys and I are going out for drinks.”

You shot him a look, “drinks?”

He laughed, shaking his head, “I can hold my alcohol, I just choose not to drink.”

Your eyes widened, “and I’m only finding this out now because? Do you remember when I had to drink your drinks for you during the first networking session because you lied to me and told me you couldn’t drink that!”

Chan flushed, “I wasn’t lying, technically. I really couldn’t drink that, I don’t like white wine.”

You shot him a harmless glare, this time, letting him open the door for you as you got into the passenger’s seat.

“Don’t drink too much tonight, yeah?” He gave you an amused huff as he started the engine of the car.

“You too,” you held your pinky out for him to make a promise.

Chan nodded, linking his pinky with yours as he leaned closer to you, “deal.”

===

You’d heard the sound of beeping at your door that night, wondering what all the ruckus was all about, getting out of bed, taking your hotel room key and pausing the show you were watching on your phone, making your way over to your door carefully.

“Why isn’t the card working?” You heard a tell-tale Australian accent muffled through the door, looking through the peephole to see a head of messy brown hair, looking as though Chan was leaning against the door.

Opening the door slowly, you’d acted quickly to grab Chan by the shoulders to steady him before he could stumble forward, the confused boy holding up his hotel key and looking at you in confusion.

“This isn’t my room?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, turning him around as you’d ushered him a few steps forward to his hotel room door, “this,” you pointed at the door, “is your room, Chan.”

He giggled, “you called me ‘Chan’.”

Taking his hand, you scanned his hotel key, bringing him into his room, finding it awfully neat (unlike yours), smoothly guiding him to his bed and letting him flop onto it.

Letting out a sigh, you couldn’t help but to feel rather endeared, seeing him open his eyes slowly to look at you, tilting his head.

“Sorry, I promised I wouldn’t drink so much.”

You shook your head, reaching over him to grab at his blanket, your movements ceasing abruptly when you’d felt his hand on your back as you hovered over him, his hand moving from your back to your head, patting it gently.

Pulling the blanket up harshly in your panic to cover him, straightening up as quickly as you could.

“Shut up, go to sleep. Goodnight,” you said, hurriedly exiting the hotel room and going back to your room, closing the door behind you and trying to calm your rapid heartbeat.

The next time you’d seen him was at the hotel lobby, where you’d agreed to meet him so you could head to the wedding venue together. Chan had come down wearing a nice suit, something you were more used to seeing him in, his hair styled up in a familiar manner.

Greeting each other, you’d both decided to pretend the night before hadn’t occurred. With you being one of the bridesmaids and Chan being one of the groomsmen, you were separated almost immediately upon reaching the venue, with him having to help his friend while you helped Eujin.

“A little birdie told me you came together with Chan,” she sing-songed.

You scoffed, “aren’t brides usually supposed to be freaking out by now?”

“Don’t change the topic! So, did you guys hang out yesterday?”

You shrugged, “yeah, I guess we did.”

She narrowed her eyes at you, “so? Is there a verdict?”

You went behind her to take her bouquet, handing it to her as you waved her off in dismissal.

“Too early to tell,” you lied.

“Stop avoiding the question! Or else I’ll just have to ask Chan myself,” she huffed sulkily, making your eyes widen.

“No, don’t do that! Okay, fine. It’s good. He’s nice.”

Even Eujin’s makeup artist was giving you a knowing look now, making you cower under their gaze.

“Shut up, focus on your wedding, please.”

You wished you could’ve done some focusing for yourself, with Chan’s friends nudging him when you’d gone to the back of the church to line up with the groomsmen, all of them seeming to have conspired to let you walk with Chan.

“Why do you look more nervous than the bride?” He teased, holding his arm out for you to take, making you roll your eyes, bringing your hand up to grasp his arm.

“You’re delusional.”

Okay, maybe he wasn’t. You wished you could’ve taken your advice, having been distracted throughout almost the entire ceremony, your gaze constantly flickering over to Chan, and you were sure he’d noticed too, with the way he would smirk and avert his gaze to the floor in his attempt to stop himself from laughing.

Shouldn’t he be the one that was nervous? He was the one that had shown up drunk at your hotel room.

After the ceremony had ended and you were all done taking photos with the bride and groom, Chan had offered you a ride to the reception venue, and you’d accepted, not knowing that you would’ve had to squeeze in a car full of his friends too.

Sitting at the passenger’s seat (thankfully), you’d prayed for the ride to be shorter as his friends had started to question you and Chan.

“Is there something going on with you two?”

“None of your business,” Chan sing-songed, only serving to spur his friends on even more, your eyes widening when you’d heard one of his friends murmur.

“Wait, but didn’t he say he had a thing for his secretary?”

Your hand went up to cover your mouth as discreetly as you could, clutching the bag of your wedding gift for Eujin and her husband and looking out of the window in your attempt to keep your composure.

Chan had seemed to share your sentiments, his eyes widening as he panicked behind the steering wheel, his mind racing with things he could possibly do to prevent you from hearing what his friends were so freely spouting.

“Oh, did he? Then there can’t be anything going on with her, right?”

Chan had reached over to turn the volume of the music up, much to your fortune, not knowing if you would’ve been able to handle hearing them talk more about Chan’s love life.

Eujin wasn’t kidding when she said that she’d make you and Chan sit next to each other, and you’d ended up at a table with Chan nearer to the front, with a few of your friends and their partners. Watching Eujin and her husband enter the hall, you’d been filled with excitement at how happy she had looked, clapping and cheering for them along with the rest of the guests.

Once they were seated, Eujin and her husband had begun to make their own speeches, thanking the respective groups of people for coming, and you didn’t miss her pointed mention of how she hoped the guests would use this time to get to know each other as well.

The way Eujin had done things was that dinner was served so that the guests could listen to the speeches and enjoy their meals at the same time, which you didn’t mind since you were absolutely starving.

You didn’t miss the way Chan had been subtly looking out for you during the dinner, like how he would casually ask if you needed anything whenever he would get up to go to the bar, or how he’d brushed your hair behind your ear so it wouldn’t get into your food (not without a tut of his tongue), earning many surprised looks from your friends which he was oblivious to.

You figured he was really making use of the ‘let’s pretend we don’t know each other’ thing as an excuse to be nice to you, not that you were complaining.

You glanced at your phone, skimming over the texts that one of the intern secretaries had sent you to ask you for help, making your friend curious.

“Is that your boss?”

You shook your head, “nah it’s just one of the interns asking me for help with something,” you shrugged, setting your utensils down as you swiped into your email app, ready to clarify the problem for her, making Chan furrow his eyebrows in annoyance.

Reaching over, he’d taken your phone from you, locking it and dropping it back into your bag, ignoring your look of confusion.

“Hey, I was just gonna email her!”

“They’re not supposed to be asking you to do things for them while you’re on leave. No working, this is your rest weekend.”

You’d shut your mouth at that, deciding that it wouldn’t do you any well to go against him, wanting to pull your phone out to just read the emails but dropping your phone back when you saw the look he gave you daring you to continue.

Your friend had seemed to be fairly amused by your exchange, shooting a look at Chan, “wow, now I’m really glad you’re here. You’re the only one so far that’s managed to stop her from checking on her work when she’s supposed to be resting.”

You scoffed. Yeah, because the source of your work was sitting right next to you in a stupid suit.

“Good to know,” he gave you a knowing smile, making you direct your attention back the waiters, seeing that they were serving desserts now.

“Your friends make me sound like i’m a hard-ass,” he leaned closer to you to murmur, making you smile, nodding.

“Well, they’re not entirely wrong,” you drawled, making Chan scoff, though not being able to help the laugh from leaving him.

He nodded slowly, his expression looking fairly amused, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

You wondered just for a moment if he was only being nice to you for the sake of his own conscience (though Seungmin would beg to differ). And by the late afternoon, you were already starting to feel drowsy from the afternoon weather, the skies darkening as though it were about to rain. Chan had figured it would be good to start heading back.

After you’d bid goodbye to Eujin, who seemed more than eager for you to leave together with Chan, Chan had offered to drive a few of his friends back to the hotel together with you, and thankfully this time they hadn’t mentioned anything about his love life.

“Tired?” Chan huffed with a smile, glancing at you momentarily before fixing his gaze back on the road.

“Yeah,” you murmured, yawning.

“You should get some sleep when you get back to the hotel.”

You nodded, “you too.”

Chan nodded patronisingly, earning a huff from you, too tired to bicker with him. something in him stirring at how he could’ve been acting like this with you a lot earlier if he wasn’t always masking his concern with rude phrasing.

His mom sure was gonna be excited the next time he updates her.

===

You hadn’t gotten as much of a rejuvenating sleep as you would’ve liked, reality having kicked in that you were back to work tomorrow, the feeling lingering unsettlingly in your chest as you tried to make the most of the rest of your night. Somehow, you’d found your way to the lounge in the hotel, though that didn’t help much in lessening your dread for tomorrow seeing as the only other people here were people working on their laptops.

You figured it was not so much of dreading work than dreading Chan’s change in personality once he went back to being your boss.

Letting your head rest on the stiff cushion of the chair you were sitting on, you’d fiddled with your phone, texting Seungmin about what had happened today.

You’d almost startled in your seat when you saw someone take a seat next to you, turning to see Chan, his tie long gone as his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his hair already falling out of place as he simply looked at you.

Raising your eyebrows in a silent question as to ask why he was here, he scoffed, looking away from you but failing to hide the reddening of his ears, “shut up, I just didn’t feel like sitting with a stranger.”

You huffed in amusement, “did you take a nap?”

Chan shook his head, “nah, just finished a conference call.”

Your eyes widened, “wait, why didn’t you tell me? I was doing nothing this whole time—“

Chan shook his head in dismissal, “you were tired. I told you, this is your rest time, I’m not allowed to touch it.”

You frowned, your mind racing with thoughts on how tomorrow could possibly go, looking at the carpet with a hint of a pout on your face, “yeah, and then tomorrow, everything goes back to normal.”

Chan inhaled deeply, leaning back in his seat as he turned his head to look at you, his hands clasped and resting on his lap.

“It doesn’t have to, you know… like…” he shrugged, “if you don’t want it to.”

Your lips parted, unsure how to respond to the implications of his words, unsure how to even process his words.

“It’d be… unprofessional for me to continue to act like… this towards my boss.”

Chan raised an eyebrow at you, shrugging, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“I think I’m way past being professional already when it comes to you.”

You’d sworn the air had felt thicker, something about the way the night mood had felt, or how the music in the lounge had succeeded in relaxing you, but something inside of you was telling you to just do it, to lean forward and kiss him. And probably promptly resign the next day out of embarrassment.

You stood up quickly, “oh, I think my cab’s here, I have to go,” you lied blatantly, Chan not making any move to stop you, simply lifting a hand to wave you off with a tired smile on his face.

“Go, go. See you at work tomorrow.”

===

“Can’t we ask Y/N to ask him?” The secretaries and interns were currently huddled in the pantry, having gathered to discuss how great it would be to have a field day soon.

“But Y/N’s equally as scary as him!” One of the interns spoke up, making the secretaries hum thoughtfully.

You’d stepped into the pantry, walking through the secretaries to retrieve a juice packet for Chan.

“Hey, what’s up?” You asked, one of the secretaries turning to you with a resolute look on her face.

“Y/N, do you think you could um… like, you know, ask President Bang if we could arrange for a team outing soon? Like a field day or something, just as a break for the staff. We haven’t had one in so long!”

You tilted your head at them in amusement, “why don’t you guys just ask him? He’s in his office now, I can go tell him you guys wan—“

“No, no! It’s different, you’re the only one that can convince him. We tried last month but he’d just told us he’d think about it.”

You shrugged, nodding, “alright, sure. I’ll go and ask him.”

Making your way back to his office, you’d tried to ignore your nerves as you knocked on the door, opening it to reveal Chan who was on the phone, holding up a finger to you to signal you to wait.

Walking over to him, you’d placed the juice packet on his desk in front of him, earning a smile and a grateful nod from him, before he’d switched back to a serious expression.

“No, yes, of course. We would want nothing more than to ensure a… mutually beneficial agreement between our companies.”

You didn’t have to ask to know who he was talking to. Chan had been trying to negotiate a deal with one of the shareholders, since they had been trying to propose to get Chan to merge with another prominent electronics company in the industry.

You knew Chan was more than annoyed, but he had no choice but to be civil with the president of the company since they did have many shares in the company from the time his uncle was in charge.

“Yes, we can discuss this more in person over lunch, how does that sound? Yep. Alright, bye.” Chan sighed, setting the phone down and leaning his palms on the table, supporting himself with a pained look on his face, looking up at you with a pout.

“I really don’t like him.”

Chan sighed, “same here.”

“Anyway, I’m glad you came here, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something.”

“What?” You asked, watching as he’d fiddled with the papers on his desk.

“Uh… I won’t ask you to handle things outside of work for me anymore.”

Your eyes widened, “is this because of what my friends said? Because I’m honestly fine it doesn’t matter,” you shook your head, seeing him scrunch his nose.

“It may not matter to you but I’m personally not fine with it,” he pressed his lips together. “Really, I mean it. Whatever I ask you to help me with from here on is only gonna be work-related.”

You nodded. Was he trying to distance himself from me? Was it because of the trip?

Your lips pulled into a frown, nodding more to yourself than to him, “okay…uh anyway I wanted to ask you um… the secretaries were wondering if we could have like a field day or something soon? Like just as a small break for the staff?”

Chan shot you a look, knowing they’d asked you to ask him.

“Do you want that?” He asked, earning a nod from you.

“Yeah, I guess. It’d be fun to just have a day for staff bonding and all…”

Chan shrugged, “alright, tell them to go ahead and arrange it.”

Your eyes widened, finding the exchange to have went a lot more smoother than expected.

“Will you be needing me for anything else?”

He looked at you as if in thought, taking his lower lip between his teeth and letting it go, shaking his head, “other than to help me book an appointment with President Kim, nothing else.”

You nodded slowly, exiting the room.

By only asking you for work-related things, you’d expected your work-load to decrease, but it seemed as though you were currently having the most uneventful day you’d ever had. Other than drafting proposals for the President of the electronics company, there wasn’t much on your plate.

You’d figured you would’ve been a lot busier tending to Chan’s requests but the boy had barely come out of his office, the only times he did being to head to the washroom, barely casting a glance in your direction when he walked past you.

As if that wasn’t strange enough, he’d even let you have a longer lunch break, much to Seungmin’s amusement.

“Doesn’t being in the legal team sound a lot more enticing now? At least you’d be doing something there.”

You rolled your eyes, “I still have quite a bit of research to do, so no thank you.”

“Admit it, you’re only staying because you can’t bear to leave Chan.”

You’d almost choked on your drink, patting your chest to regain your composure, “where the hell did you get that idea from?”

Seungmin scoffed, “you act like you didn’t call me a thousand times during the trip to tell me about things he did.”

You’d fallen silent at that, averting your gaze.

“Whatever,” you scoffed.

“Isn’t it misconduct, though? If I were to date him.”

Seungmin shook his head with an amused snort leaving him, “what are we in, the stone ages? Go wild, literally nobody cares. They’ll probably be happy if you manage to get him to be less of a hard-ass,” Seungmin told you, glancing into his cup to see how much drink he had left, “god knows when was the last time he got laid.”

You flushed, shoving Seungmin, “how can you say that?”

“What? It’s true!”

You gave him a dismayed glare, standing up with a sigh as you straightened out your skirt, glancing at the time on your phone.

“I should probably be heading back now, I’ve got work to do,” you gave Seungmin a pointed look, pulling him up from the bench.

“I don’t wanna go back to work,” Seungmin let out a loud strangled sound of protest, his shoes stomping on the wooden panelled floor of the rooftop.

You giggled, a teasing smile on your face, “weren’t you the one saying the legal team was what again? Enticing?”

Seungmin pouted, pressing the elevator button, abruptly flailing his limbs in a mini outburst before straightening up and composing himself.

“Fine, I’m fine. Enjoy your stupid office romance with Chan.”

You rolled your eyes.

Chan had a consultation with the legal team later that afternoon regarding the issue with the shareholder, and you’d been all-too-distracted during the meeting as you thought about what your possible ‘action-plan’ regarding your situation with Chan was.

Taking down notes during the meeting, you’d let your train of thought wander, almost doodling onto your notebook, with one hand supporting your head on the table before you heard the legal advisor from the shareholder’s side speak up, a guttural groan leaving him.

Looking up with an annoyed furrow of your eyebrows, you heard him lean back in his chair, “what does a man need to do to get a drink around here?”

“You,” the man pointed a finger at you, “go and make yourself useful, sweetheart. Get me a cup of coffee.”

Chan’s eyebrows knit into a frown, looking at the legal consultant with clear disdain on his face, looking at you to gauge your reaction. Already expecting you to do what you always did, get up with a smile and come back with the man’s coffee, Chan figured he was too annoyed by it to let you do just that.

About to speak up to the man, you'd shocked Chan when you narrowed your eyes at him, giving him a sweet smile, "sorry, that's not my job here. Since you're not contributing much to the discussion, why don't you make your legs useful and head right over there and get yourself some water."

You huffed, staring him down as he glared at you, directing his gaze to Chan. "Are you just gonna let her talk to me like that? I'd fire such a rude brat if I were you. Who's your supervisor, I'm gonna make sure he hears of this."

Chan did his best to conceal his smile, simply turning his chair ever so slightly to give you a small smile, "that would be me, and I heard it loud and clear. Now, shall we continue with the meeting?"

===

You’d been spending hours at your desk, distractedly doing research as you’d kept trying to peep into Chan’s office to figure out what he was doing, to no avail. (Chan had put the blinds down halfway through the day since he couldn’t stop staring outside at your desk either).

You were technically done with your work, and Chan did mention that you were free to go home once you were done. On any other occasion this would have been considered a miracle, and you wouldn’t have hesitated to go home. But now, there was a nagging feeling in your heart that you couldn’t just leave him here, especially with how stressed out he was because of the business with the shareholder. You didn’t trust him not to spend the whole night here.

Glancing at the time, you saw that it was already past 10, deciding that you would give him some time to make an appearance before you left, just to make sure he was alive and breathing inside his office.

Distracting yourself with replying emails, even playing more than a few rounds of a word-search game on your phone, you figured he would’ve come out by now, but there was still not a sound coming from inside the room.

Once the clock had almost struck 11, you figured you’d might as well go in and check on him for yourself. Going over to the pantry to make a hot drink, you’d walked back to his office, your grip tight on the saucer in your anxiousness.

Inhaling deeply and breathing out with a resolute nod, you knocked on the door of his office, waiting a while only to be met with silence.

Pushing open the door slightly, you’d tried again.

“Mr Bang, is it okay if I come in?”

Upon receiving no response yet again, you’d pushed open the door fully, your eyes widening in realisation when you saw him seated at his desk, fast asleep on the chair.

Walking over to the leather sofa as quietly as you could, you’d picked up the blanket from the sofa, making your way over to where he was, setting the hot drink onto his desk and making to drape the blanket over him.

Only when you were adjusting the blanket did he stir awake, making your fight-or-flight instincts kick in, strangely embarrassed if he were to catch you doing such a gesture for him.

Blinking slowly, his eyebrows furrowed before his gaze had landed on you.

“I thought you’d gone home already?” He pouted, making you fumble to find an excuse why you’d stayed behind.

“Sorry, Mr Bang, I was—”

He gave you a lazy smile, shaking his head, “none of that ‘Mr Bang’, nonsense. How come you haven’t left yet?”

You pressed your lips together firmly, pulling your hands away from the blanket as you tried to straighten up, sighing softly.

“I couldn’t leave… for some reason. I kind of wanted to make sure you were okay, since I barely saw you the whole day.”

Chan’s satisfied smile had grew, nodding at you as if prompting you to continue.

“but I’ll go soon. I guess,” you blurted, “unless like you know, you need me for something, then I’m fine with staying.” You stopped yourself, nodding before you could embarrass yourself any further.

You couldn’t help but let your breath hitch when he’d reached out to grab your hand.

“Thank you, for checking up on me,” he murmured, his close proximity making your gaze dart to his lips, averting your gaze quickly.

“Did you not come out of your office on purpose?” You narrowed your eyes at him, hating the way your heart was doing flips at the way he grinned, his dimples showing cutely.

You were about to pull back out of your own internal panic, but Chan’s grip on your hand was firm.

“I’m sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t ask you for anything that wasn’t work related from now on. But It’s killing me, because you were sitting outside the whole day and I couldn’t do anything about it…” he paused, tilting his head as he searched your expression.

“You can refuse, but I just need you to do one little thing for me,” he murmured, pulling you forward so you’d ended up seated on his lap, your arms going out to grasp his shoulders to steady yourself.

“What do you need me to do?” You asked, your voice a mere murmur with how the tension was absolutely suffocating you, wanting nothing more than to just close the gap between the both of you.

Chan’s hand went up to your chin, running his thumb over your lower lip as they unconsciously parted, “close your eyes.”

Chan couldn’t help but smirk at the way you’d done so obediently, his hand going to where your neck met your jaw, leaning closer to press his lips against yours.

Almost as if it was second nature, he’d let his other hand grasp your hip, his thumb rubbing the area soothingly. Tilting his head to kiss you deeper, you’d practically sighed into the kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck loosely as you felt him smile into the kiss.

“I’m glad it’s you,” he murmured against your lips, his tongue swiping against your lower lip making you let out a surprised hum, not being able to help your smile as well.

“We should stop,” you pulled away, breathless.

“Why?”

You shook your head, “I could kiss you for hours. It’s already so close to midnight.”

Chan glanced at the clock apathetically, looking at you and shrugging, his hand running up and down your side.

“So be it, then,” he said, pulling you back to meet his lips.

===

“Is it just me, or has President Bang been a lot less moody these days,” Seungmin heard one of his colleagues in the legal team asking her desk-mate, making her colleague nod gravely.

The mention of President Bang had him glancing towards his office, spotting your desk empty and figuring you were inside his office.

“Definitely. At first I thought it was just me, but he’s been a lot less harsh to Y/N as well,” she agreed.

“Don’t you think so, Seungmin?”

And almost as if on cue, you’d exited his office, pulling your hair out of your ponytail to readjust it, looking around as if scanning the area to see if anyone had seen you.

Locking eyes with Seungmin, you shot him a wink, straightening out your blouse as you’d gone back to sit down at your desk.

Seungmin scoffed, not being able to help the smile on his face as he rolled his eyes, “yeah, I think I know why.”

3K notes · View notes

jayflrt · 2 years

Note

HELP i just copy and paste bc i type way faster on my computer and i normally rmb to delete what i respond to but. not that time ig.

i got accepted into 3/4 i applied to, it's just. choosing. that is v hard for me bc 2 of them are really good schools.

TURN DOWN HARVARD????? the one i got denied from was ivy league equivalent i cant even imagine getting in omg

im so out of shape too dw LMAOOO i used to do like... 8 mile hikes and shit easily but now??? gl getting me to do 1.5 miles 😭😭😭i used to take the bus, yeah, it would be 2 hrs in the morning and 2-3 in the evening. sucked!! do not recommend!! my mom drives me now, and when i go to college im just gonna take the shuttle or walk everywhere

NAUUURRR i hope u get qiqi soon!! i have her c1 on na and c0 on asia, she just. rlly loves me. speaking of my asia acc my luck is absolutely mf INSANE there why do i have c3 lisa and like c2 kaeya... starter chars are so rare HELLAUR???

my yanfei is c6 and i need to fix her artis and crown her, but she hits a good 50k when she crits. my highest on NA is 61k melt from ganyu,, but thats bc none of my dps chars are nukers, yk? like xiao and ganyu r both multihit

my eula hit 135k w a lvl 6 ult on asia but her artifacts are awful, i need to farm for her more. it's so annoying to farm for two accs tho LMAOOOOO

i was helping brooke unlock and run the new domain a couple of times ( we were... very slow) and eula hit at most 45k bc her ratio and talents r so awful LMAOOO albedo carried yes king

i got into 127 first, i think it's just that dream is closer to my age? so their humor matches mine more. and mark/jaehyun were my first biases and i still have soft spots for them so ig i can be considered loyal? like i stan half the group in almost every group i like,, but it doesn't change once i find the Ones.

i kind of hate the beach bc it's... boring? LMAOOOO like when u go frequently it's like 😴😴😴ok seen it im done. we normally go once or twice a year for a week </3 that is so long to do nothing but sit on SAND i hate sand

i want to write on my sideblog bc im trying to regrow a following that's more active and reads longer fics, since my current one is so reaction-centric and i know most of them r from 2 years ago and have deleted tumblr </3

it's working so far, i think? like i get asks sometimes or people at least wanting to be on the taglist which is more than i can say for main 😭😭😭

omg yeah dw abt it, i was just curious <3 i do know im a lil nervous making new mutuals now and i've only been on the very fringes of the plagiarism dramas and everything

HAHAH NONO UR GOOD when i just have my laptop, i copy paste it into notes and then reply and then type and then paste my response into the ask again LOLL it's so complex for what 🤧

deciding on my college was also rlly difficult for me :'') i took like a good month to weigh in all my acceptances and eventually went to the one i felt the most comfortable at and thought would be the best for me <33 omg yeah my high school was pretty competitive so quite a few people got into ivy leagues, but everyone was surprised that that one boy turned down harvard bc he's always had high ambitions and is a genius 😳 but i think it all came down to finances and he's happier at the college he ended up choosing tbh so i'm glad for him 🥰 plus ivy leagues are corrupt and scary and i don't think i want to go to a university where the student climate is so cutthroat LMFAO

god yeah my thighs are dying rn <//3 i hiked 16 miles with my friends once and tbh that was the worst HAHAH i was fine for the 7(??) ish miles there but walking back was sooo painful + 2 of those miles was on sand so it was a struggle. i don't think i could walk properly for 3 days after that HAHAH and i cut my ankle mid-hike so 🤕 2-3 hours ??? god i would fall asleep or something i could never 😭

my luck kinda sucks on both accs 💀 i don't think i've ever hit pity early and i have like c3 mona and c2 jean LMFAO but omg yeah starter cons are sooo good 😭 my friend manx mained kaeya for a while and kept getting lisa cons instead of kaeya HAHAH and i always get amber cons even tho i never use her 😳 cat got a kaeya con the other day and i freaked out LMAOAO where's my kaeya constellation 😩

i want c6 yanfei soooo bad i have her at c4 rn but her build is kinda good so im itching to get two more constellations 🙏 i feel like i barely use my NA acc anymore HAHAH i just spend so much time on my asia one and don't have time to work on both 🤧 but maybe i'll start working on my NA acc again so that i can build diluc !! 💖 i still need to play the new archon quest i've been doing a bunch of world quests but im proud bc i usually never get those done and push it off to the end <//3

ooh yeah i get that !! i adore 127 and wayv and watch content for them but dream is like the group i always go back to to watch content 💗 lately i've been ditching them to watch svt content tho sorry dream <//3

yeah where i am people go to the beach like every week so it gets tiring after a while. i hate sand in my shoes and how cold the ocean is and how scary the waves are so !! im out. my roommates actually invited me out to the beach with them today and i was like nooooo so i hid out to write/do homework :'] but yeah same i hate sand when it gets wet and sticks to you but i like it when you don't get wet and just can like ,, lay on the warm sand :')

ooh yeah that makes sense :o i just make sideblogs bc i'm so nitpicky with the organization HAHAH when i made this blog i didn't tell anyone i was hyuckworld/tyonfs for a month or two because i wanted to build my own rep 🌸

omg yeah im traumatized from my wattpad days because i would stumble upon clout chasers who only wanted to be my friend to either get me to read their fics or become friends with my friends 😣 i was so wary about reading rec’d fics for a while HAHAH but now i’ve just started finding my own fics to read and it’s fun discovering more <33 i have a list for ao3 too 🥰

i try to handle all plagiarism issues privately bc i hate bringing discourse onto my blog but the ask someone sent me sort of made it impossible for me to not post it publicly 😞 plus it was clear that person was just blatantly copy pasting a bunch of writers fics sooo <//3 i rlly hope this all ends soon gosh

#💌 : love notes #seoulbinz

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ickle-ronniekins · 4 years

Text

duet | see you soon then

DUET MASTERLIST

NOTE FOR ALL READERS: this is an installment of a series. the masterlist for a catch-up is linked above. this particular chapter is to fall between [im]mature and silky smooth. thanks!

desc: things had been a bit rocky when the twins told you they were leaving hogwarts before graduation. you’d been so hellbent and obsessed on spending time with george that you’d sort of neglected fred. emotions are running high, but the three of you fall into a comfortable routine and suddenly you’re bursting at the seams with happiness. but since it’s finally time for them to leave, you have absolutely no luck in trying to suppress your tears. they’re making their dreams come true, so why is it so damn hard to say goodbye right now?

a/n: yo! sorry its been a while. school has been kicking my ass and also I genuinely had no inspiration to write this chapter. it was actually supposed to look a little different which is what I think was evidently holding me back. but leeann’s the best and has been incredibly patient with me as I worked through my writer’s block and we bounced ideas off of one another. i..... am so sorry for this. full masterlist is linked above, loves.

word count: 3.4k

warning(s): just sadness bc boys are leaving :(

Things had been… tense, to say the least. Your arguments with both of your best mates had caused quite a bit of discomfort between you all. And not to mention that the Easter holidays were rapidly approaching, which only seemed to speed up the pounding in your chest.

You’d been making progress, though, coming around to the idea of finishing school without them. What an incredible opportunity this was for them, wasn’t it? While your feelings of dread and sadness were still very much prominent, you couldn’t help but be bursting at the seams with pride, too.

They were damn brilliant individuals and it was about time more people recognized that, right?

It still didn’t lessen the pain in your heart, though. It only seemed to elevate it. But you supposed, you’d only learn to grow from it.

The three of you had fallen into a somewhat comfortable routine. Spending lots of time with one another -- you’d also been very conscious about how much time you spent chasing after George. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself any further than you already had. Plus, you’d sadly forgotten how lovely it was to be with just Fred -- he was your absolute best mate, after all, and while yes, there had been times when the two of you had very angrily bumped heads, it only made your friendship that much stronger. You owed it to him. You owed it to yourself.

And you’d taken to spending more time with the Gryffindors too, when that ghastly toad look-a-like of a woman wasn’t around. What she didn’t know wouldn’t kill her. They were your friends, too, after all -- Ginny, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Neville -- the lot of them. And by the light of the common room fire reflecting in Fred’s eyes, and the very bright grin George had painted onto his face nearly every evening, you were pretty certain they were genuinely happy to have you there.

“What’s this one?”

“Ah -- an extension of our latest and greatest inventions, Y/N,” Fred beamed, examining his own creation as he twirled it in his fingers, “Wildfire Whizbangs.”

“You mean you’ve created something even bigger than those blasted fireworks you’d let loose in the courtyard a few weeks ago?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’re about to set the bloody Great Hall on fire -- I’ve got exams coming up, you know.”

George laughed and pulled out yet another wildly vibrant colored whizbang from their trunk. “Can’t make any promises.”

You’d been spending so much time in their common room, in fact, that people had just ended up making you an honorary Gryffindor. You did miss yours, though -- the warmth hues of the yellow lining, the cozy armchairs near the fire with books next to it stacked so high they touched the ceiling, the tiny, potted plants on the windowsill. You were placed in Hufflepuff after all, so it was only normal that you’d miss the coziness of your own spot.

You couldn’t help it, though. You found yourself with your friends until the late hours of the evening, and sometimes you’d ever crash in the girls’ dormitory in Gryffindor tower because it was far too late to even attempt to sneak back down to your own common room, and the boys didn’t want you to risk getting into some type of trouble. Who’d have thought? The Kings of Mischief, worried about you getting into trouble. The irony was wonderfully funny.

You’d even found yourself working less and less on your assignments, just to spend time with them. It was, truthfully, the closest the three of you had been since you’d met. Absolutely nothing could squash your happiness.

Until you realized one evening when you were pulling on your silk pyjamas and thinking about how good things had been, that you had exactly one week left with them. One week. Seven days. Most of which would be spent studying for exams.

Some type of knot shot up into your throat and you found that your eyes had begun to water more so than normal. Sometimes, you couldn’t quite believe the effect this was having on you.

And so you swallowed down your feelings and forced yourself to sleep, hoping that the next day, you wouldn’t think about the limited time you had left with them before they fled school, but only about just how much you enjoyed your time with them.

-- -

“Please don’t cry. If you cry, I’ll cry, and I’m a bloody ugly crier.”

You knew that Fred was doing his best to make you laugh. He always had a particular knack for making you burst out into giggles at the most inappropriate of times. But even so, the mischievous glimmer in his eye and the lopsided grin on his face couldn’t make you laugh. Not this time.

You’d sort of distanced yourself this last week. Not purposefully, mind you, but because there was studying to be done. You had exams, didn’t you? And the boys needed to pack all of their belongings for their adventure into adulthood. It sounded so silly when you thought about it. But it also sent a soul-crushing feeling straight through your body.

You hated crying in front of them. Sure, you were a bit dramatic at times, but you tried your absolute hardest not to break down in front of them if you could help it. But this was different, you reckoned. This was them leaving with a permanence that could not be undone. This was goodbye… for now.

“I -- I’m just --” your voice sounded raspy and weak, like someone was gripping your vocal cords and strangling them. You watched through blurred vision as Fred’s lower lip began to wobble, and he bit down on it to keep you from noticing. But you noticed. Of course you did. How could you not? You knitted your brows together to keep the tears from falling, but your emotions were far too high for anything to work. You searched desperately for the words that were filling up your heart, though were proving very difficult to leave your lips. “I’m.. I’m really…”

And Fred, who found himself sometimes turning to mush around you, let his shoulders collapse as tears welled up in his eyes, too. He couldn’t believe they were really doing this -- really leaving. Hogwarts had been their home away from home for so many years, and you, the second sister he didn’t know he needed.

When he spoke, his voice didn’t have the usual cheeky sound to it, that mischievous tone you grew to know and love so much. It was soft, and tired, and pleading with you to please not be angry. You could hear it in the way that he said, “I know,” before pulling you into his chest. He interwove his fingers in your hair and pressed his lips to your forehead before sucking in a breath. You tugged gently on the drawstring hanging from his sweatshirt. It was hard to stay mad at either of them. You forced your eyes shut and bit down hard on your bottom lip, causing you to suck in another breath due to the pain. You felt your heart snap perfectly in half when you heard his voice shake a bit. “I’m really going to miss you, too.”

That was one of the most intimate moments you’d ever shared with Fred, letting each other cry into one another’s shoulders. The vulnerability hanging in the air between you both was so intense, it almost didn’t seem real. But as quickly as this new side of Fred had appeared, it vanished when he pulled away from you and held onto your shoulders to steady you. He sniffled a bit and tried to nonchalantly wipe away a tear from his eye. “But you’re coming to visit, yeah? First thing after graduation?”

“Of course,” you playfully swatted him with the sleeve of your robe. “Have got to make sure you two don’t find yourselves in any mischief, right?”

Fred threw his head back and laughed. “Great thing about our shop is that mischief is more than welcomed, darling.”

You both continued to laugh through tears, until everything became still and silent between you both. You bit down on your bottom lip again and repeated the address back to him very slowly. “Number 93 Diagon Alley.”

“Number 93 Diagon Alley,” he echoed you. His grin was so large, you began to see traces of that thirteen-year-old boy you’d first met all those long years ago. He was so excited, wasn’t he? You felt a pull at your heart. And you were so excited for them. “I love you, kid. Don’t forget to write, and definitely don’t forget to study. Molly Weasley would be so disappointed.”

He pulled you in for another hug before making his way down the corridor. You folded your arms across your chest and raised an eyebrow. “You? The King of avoiding schoolwork at all costs is actually telling me to study?”

“What can I say?” Fred shrugged his shoulders. Your best mate. Your best mate in the entire world, known for his pranks and laughter and everything in between was pointing a finger at you and telling you to get a jump start on your school work, like he’d done a complete one-eighty. “You just bring out this side of me.”

“I love you, you absolute git.”

“I love you more.”

Your breathing intensified as he vanished down the corridor.

“Wow,” you heard a voice from behind you, “can’t believe you somehow got my brother to tell you to study. What has the world come too?”

When you whirled around to come face to face with George, his face was an exact carbon copy of Fred’s -- but his sparkling eyes and lopsided grin made your insides twist in a way that Fred’s didn’t. All you wanted to do was run up to your dorm and cry, thinking about the entirety of your schooling where you could’ve been wrapped up in his arms if he’d just felt the same way. But that wouldn’t help you in any way. You had to be thankful for what you had.

“It definitely won’t be the same with you two gone.”

You couldn’t help it -- the words escaped you before you could register your own thoughts. You could see George’s expression fill with guilt, something that had been happening more often than not, so you offered him a tremendous grin that split your face in half, despite the tears that were falling generously now. You stuck your hand out to pull him into you. “I hope you know how proud I am of you both.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, took your hand in his and walked toward you. He pulled you into a bone crushing embrace, one you’d definitely feel the effects of a few days from now. He cradled your head in his hand the exact same way Fred did, and also placed a kiss onto your hair, but the way your blood bubbled at his touch was so very different from the way you felt with your best friend.

“I just want to thank you.”

“For what?”

“For.. everything.” George’s voice was raspy. He pulled away from you but didn’t let go. He slid his hands across your shoulders and down your arms before intertwining his fingers with yours. He slowly caressed his thumbs over the tops of your hands as he chose his words carefully. “For being my best friend, for believing in this ridiculous idea, for dealing with my antics. For everything, all of it. I reckon Hogwarts would not have been the same had I not met you in Charms.”

“It was my favorite lesson, you know.”

“Mine, too.”

You forced yourself to continue to smile at him through your tears, because you didn’t want you blubbering like an idiot to be the last thing he’d see before leaving the castle. As if this entire exchange hadn’t been dramatic enough, you were really considering telling him how you felt -- right as he left. You could shout out I love you!, couldn’t you? It would be the perfect time, too, because he’d already be off and you could run up to your dormitory without worrying about having to face him or your own intense feelings! The words were right there, on the tip of your tongue --

“Save a pygmy puff for me, yeah?”

But those were the words that spoke instead.

George raised his eyebrows and held up a finger. “Oh! That reminds me. Have got something for you.” You threaded your eyebrows together in confusion as he reached into his pocket. He very gently pulled out a ribbon, the colour a perfect blend of purple and pink, same as the puffs, with sparkles dancing across it as if it were charmed. Which, knowing George, it probably was. He fiddled with it slightly in his hands before looking up to meet your gaze. “You’ve inspired us. Got a whole line of these things in the works. So I want you to do me a favour.”

Your voice was a whisper. You’d nearly forgotten how to formulate coherent sentences. “What?” you asked him.

He then took a very deep breath and reached out to move your hair. He gently placed the ribbon behind your ears and tied it into a small bow on the top of your head. “When you’re feeling poorly about your exams, or about finishing school, or about anything, because I know you will -- put this on. Think of us. And just remember that we’re only a letter away until graduation, alright?”

As he watched more tears well up in your eyes, he considered telling you the truth: that it had been him this whole time, sending you these letters and gifts. It’d been him since the beginning, he’d just been too afraid to tell you. He wet his lips and watched as you brought your fingers to the ribbon and touched it gently. He was going to do it, it was time. Probably a few years too late, but he couldn’t worry about that now. He was leaving in five bloody minutes, and he had to seize his chance, when the vulnerability was thick and the emotions were high and he wasn’t going to chicken out completely --

But just as he found his confidence, Fred softly called his name from round the bend before disappearing again. You threw your arms around the back of George’s neck and stood on the tips of your toes to hug him. There was no mistaking the sound of your wobbly voice in his ears -- you were crying fully now. “I’m going to miss you.”

If his emotions weren’t sky high, he would’ve noticed just how easily the tears came to the front of his eyes at your simple, five word phrase.

“I’m going to miss you, too.”

He wished it could be yesterday, or the day before. Or last month. Or last year. He wanted to be back in Charms in your third year. He wished he could go back in time, any amount of time, just to have more with you, because this couldn’t possibly be the end. It couldn’t be.

Through sniffles and sobs and the cracks in your voice, he swore he heard you say, “I love you.”

Fire shot through his veins, but bloody hell, he didn’t have time to unload all of that. Fred was calling his name again. “I love you, too.”

George pressed his lips to your hairline and stayed there like that for a few more seconds you wished could last a lifetime. You didn’t even bother trying to hide your tears anymore -- they were cascading down your cheeks, and violent sobs were involuntarily escaping from your overused lungs. Every single ounce of your body hurt due to all of the crying you’d been doing the last couple of days. It felt so stupid and so dramatic and so absolutely awful, because the truth was, it was only a couple of months until you saw them again. Until you saw him again. A few months was nothing.

But the idea of being here without them hurt more than you could begin to fathom.

When he pulled away, you noticed how red and blotchy his cheeks were alongside his bloodshot eyes, his messy hair. But you beamed at him again and squeezed his hand and said, “Congratulations,” and watched him as his fingers let go of yours and he walked toward the other end of the corridor.

“Hey,” you called, thinking of something. George spun around quickly and peered longingly at you. You just needed a few more seconds or so. “How’re you two getting out of here, anyway? You know Umbridge has all the entrances sealed. You think it’s going to work, whatever you two’ve got planned?” There was a sliver of selfishness that hoped it didn’t, but you suppressed it. You were overflowing with pride for your best friends.

And then there he was -- that young boy filled with adventure and reckless abandon, looking at you as if only seeing you for the very first time. His grin deepened when he replied, “Don’t worry -- it’s in typical Weasley fashion.” He stopped in his tracks and placed his hands in his pockets, and peered at you with a type of intense sincerity that made every muscle in your body ache all over again. “I’ll see you soon, then?”

Your lip quivered again. “Yeah,” you replied, willing yourself to believe it. You would. “I’ll see you soon, then.”

You shook your head at him and watched as he disappeared around the bend, but not before that signature wink he loved to offer.

About thirty minutes later, after you’d had a good cry and rinsed the runny mascara off of your cheeks and from underneath your eyes, you heard a bit of yelling from inside the castle. You were sitting in the courtyard basking in the glorious spring weather, forcing yourself to focus on what you needed to study, when a group of students began to huddle near the windows.

Confused, you shut your spellbook and wandered over to where they were gathered, wondering what the bloody hell could be going on inside. Weren’t the fifth years supposed to be taking their OWLs?

And then two red headed figures zoomed out of the castle on their broomsticks, followed by a firework dragon the size of the real dragon Harry had fought just last year, with more sparklers and pyrotechnics behind them brightening up the sky. Students flooded into the courtyard and cheers were nearly shaking the whole entire structure of the castle. You looked around at all of the students, beaming with exuberance, and wondered just how many of the Wildfire Whizbangs had gotten caught in Umbridge’s hair, setting it aflame. You smiled to yourself and began to clap, too.

For as blue as you felt, you were ten times happier for them.

George and Fred were now hovering in the air beneath a very large firework in the shape of a ‘W’. Fred was busy cheering along with the crowd, clearly pleased with the feedback from all of the students -- and even some teachers. Was that Flitwick he spotted below? Had he made his Charms teacher proud?

But George wasn’t cheering -- he was focused. Focused on scanning the crowd, focused on bouncing his eyes from student to student until he found the familiar one he was looking for.

“You alright, Georgie?” Fred called over the roar of the dragon, now swimming through the clouds.

“Yeah,” George replied, though he didn’t fully believe it -- not until he saw you, in the middle of a sea of Ravenclaws, peering up at the two of them with nothing but admiration plastered onto your face. George breathed another sigh of relief and didn’t take his eyes off of you. He couldn’t. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

“To new adventures!” Fred cheered and raised his hands in delight. More students began to scream and cheer and wave to them from the grounds. He proceeded to do a backflip on his broomstick in the air.

When your eyes met his from below, he watched as your smile slowly grew a bit larger and your clapping became more exuberant. He could already count down the bloody days until you were finished with school and walking through the front doors of their shop, a grin on your face so large it could cure diseases! But for now, you had to study, and he had a business to run.

He turned toward his brother, who had never looked more excited or proud in all his years. George stuck out his hand for a high-five as he wobbled slightly on his broom. To Fred, George replied, “To new adventures, mate.”

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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 4 years

Text

Snowed In p6

This gave me such a hard time but I needed this conversation to happen for like 50% of the plot shit down the road, plz forgive me.

Pairing: Geralt x fem!reader

Warnings: hella awkward convos, pining, self depreciating undertones?, talking about sex? idk yall im tryinna tag these with everything i can think of but if i miss something plz let me know!

Summary: (Last part was pure smut, but for those who skipped, it was basically them justifying a good roll in the hay bc it would help them sleep) The day after some completely pragmatic and not at all monumental sex they’re figuring out where to go from there. Boundaries and such?

__________

part 5 here!

You woke slowly, uncomfortably warm and… sticky?

As reality came into focus you realized the stickiness was sweat from being plastered to Geralt's bare chest as you slept. You wriggled a little, loosening his hold on your hips so you could scoot back and see his face. He was still fast asleep, hair sticking to his stubble and mouth slightly open. He looked so much more innocent, almost juvenile when he slept. It made you want to protect him, as ridiculous as it sounded.

Your hand reached up on its own to brush the strands of hair away from his face. When he didn't stir you trailed your first two fingers down his jawline, gently dragging the backs of your knuckles up over his cheekbones. You knew he could wake up at any moment, and it would be uncomfortable to explain why you were staring at him like he alone breathed life into you every day, but you continued tracing the peaks and contours of his face.

If you let yourself think about it, he technically did. He got you up every morning, did anything you asked to help you, and everything you didn't have the stones to ask. This man made space for you like no one ever had and accepted the mess you brought with you, going so far as to help you sweep it into a manageable pile.

You swallowed back the lump forming in your throat as you realized just how much of a mess you'd made for yourself this time. You'd fallen in love and set yourself up for nothing but pain.

The snow would melt, you two would join Jaskier on the other side of the pass, things would go back as they were, and you would fall asleep alone.

You took a slow deep breath in and savored the peace for the last couple of moments you could before your heart would burst. Gently lifting Geralt's arm, you rolled up to sitting as slowly as possible, watching him the whole time. When he still didn't wake, you snatched up your clothes and tiptoed to the bathroom.

He was still asleep after a towel bath and meticulously braiding your hair, softly snoring now. You couldn't help but feel a little proud of yourself for tiring him out so thoroughly.

Sitting down next to him you squeezed his shoulder, "Geralt. Hey, wake up."

He grumbled something about it being early and patted the bed where he thought you were supposed to be before his eyes snapped open.

"There he is." You cooed, reluctantly pulling your hand away.

He squinted and furrowed his brow against the morning sun, pushing himself up on one elbow, "You're up. And dressed."

Now, you knew you were manufacturing the disappointment in his words, but it still hit you just as hard. You sprang to your feet, kicking the contents of your bag back toward the corner with a little more vigor than necessary, "Woke up hungry. C'mon, get up."

"Alright, alright." He grumbled, rolling over and reaching for his neatly packed bag.

Breakfast was uncomfortable, to say the least.

Geralt didn't lean his knee against yours and you weren't sure if you missed it or were relieved he spared you the adrenaline rush. Though when he brushed against your arm reaching for the salt and you nearly jumped out of your skin. The neighbors sat across the table from you and one of them winked at you, almost making you choke on your oats. As soon as Geralt was done with breakfast you cleared both your plates and made a beeline for the door.

You lead the way out to the barn, excited to see the caverns in the snow your fight had left the week before were still uncovered by fresh snow. You fumbled with the latch, not entirely paying attention, so Geralt reached over your shoulder and flicked it open himself. He was so close you felt his breath on your neck and the heat coming off of his chest. Everything in you wanted to lean back into him, but that might be breaking a rule and these rules were becoming ever more nuanced.

You went about your usual business feeding and examining the horses and were about to leave, but Beau looked so sad and bored. Poor guy hadn't gotten more than a walk up and down the breezeway in a month and you could see the pent up energy in his eyes. You sighed and grabbed hold of his mane, swinging up onto his back and laying back over his haunches while he ate. This felt like a good place to slow down and examine your options with this whole "friends" business.

"Y/N?"

Or it would have been.

"Stall." You answered, not sitting up even when you heard him slide the door open.

"What're you doing up there?" Geralt's voice had that same confusing, unidentifiable tone he'd used when he'd left you in the bath.

"He looked so lonely. You don't just spend time with Roach?" You spared him a glance, noting how casually he leaned against the door, arms crossed so that his collar slipped down to show the marks from your nails digging into his skin.

He shrugged, "She gets tired of me."

Beau walked across the stall to sniff Geralt’s pockets and nudge his hand when he smelled what he was after. You shifted to stay balanced on his back, absolutely no intention of coming down any time soon.

The silence between you that crept on and on was in no way comfortable. You fidgeted while Geralt pet Beau, giving him a treat here and there when he smiled for him. Normally you’d be amused, now you were just angry at yourself.

You swung a leg over Beau’s withers, spinning to sit sideways facing Geralt, “You’re rather quiet.”

“I’m always quiet.”

You shook your head, frantically searching for the words you needed, testing the waters,“I ah… I had a good time last night.”

He quickly glanced at you before focusing back on Beau trying to eat his gloves, “Mhmm... Haven’t slept that well in months.”

There was a beat where you debated leaving it there, but you were never one to quit while you were ahead, “This doesn’t have to be weird, does it? I don’t want things getting tense.”

Geralt finally locked eyes with you, searching your face for something, “No… if you’re uncomfortable-”

“Which I’m not.” You interrupted.

He tilted his head, a softness taking over his face that you rarely saw, “You’re my best friend. As long as you’re okay with it, I am too. It’s just sex, after all.”

You nodded, “Just sex. Yeah. We- heh, we didn't even kiss...”

“Exactly. What are friends for?” Geralt playfully swatted at your boot, giving you a grin.

What are friends for…

You plastered a smile on your face, changing the subject before the emotions bubbling in your chest boiled over, “Jaskier is gonna kill you when I tell him you said I’m your best friend.”

He moved to stand in front of you, crossing his forearms and resting them on your knees. His touch was calming, grounding you back into reality as he usually did.

He squinted up at you, “That’s if you tell him.”

You patted his hand, “Oh, I’m definitely telling him.” you teased.

He gripped your wrist and quickly spun to face away from you, pulling you forward and off Beau's back. You squeaked and gripped onto his shoulders when you landed on him. He laughed, giving a little jump to get you higher on his hips and get a hold of your knees. A giggle slipped from your lips, partly due to surprise, but partly because his grip on your knees tickled.

"I'll tell him it was you who dropped the sword on his lute strings." Geralt made his threat halfheartedly, carrying you out of the barn only to have you steer him back to grab your gloves that you'd left on the hay. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, taking your opportunity to hold him close to you as possible, resting your chin on his shoulder. His warmth and his scent lulled you into a state of content as he took his time meandering back to the inn. Just before he reached the door you noticed a fresh snowflake on your elbow.

"Motherfucker." You shouted, "It's snowing again."

"Shit! Y/N, you're right in my ear." He tried to turn to look at you but you tucked your head against his neck, hiding almost like a child.

"Sorry. I forgot…" you whispered, more out of embarrassment than anything.

He hummed, the vibrations permeating your whole body from where you were perched as he yanked the door open and stomped inside. You wiggled, communicating you could once again walk just like a toddler, but he just hoisted you up higher and trudged up the stairs. You bit your lip, hiding a smile on the basic principle of not wanting to feel it, not necessarily because anyone important could see you.

When you reached your room Geralt rather unceremoniously collapsed onto the bed, sending the two of you bouncing for a bit before he came to rest with his shoulders on your hips.

"Tired?" You asked, fighting the urge to rake your fingers through his hair.

"Exhausted." He made no effort to get up but rested his hands underneath the outsides of your knees.

You sighed in agreement and rested your hands on his shoulders, "Post breakfast nap sounds nice."

I can handle this. I know the boundaries. Just don't kiss him. That should be easy enough ...

__________

part 7 here!

gotta edit bc im a scatterbrain and forgot to tag! If you want to be tagged plz let me know!

@ab-haya @fire-in-her-veinz @cavillhavoc

#geralt of rivia #the wticher #geralt of rivia fic #geralt of rivia fanfic #geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia x reader fic #geralt #geralt x reader fic #geralt fic #geralt x reader fanfic #the witcher fanfic #the witcher fan fiction #the witcher fic #geralt x fem!reader #fucking yearning hours yall #thats damn near all im good for

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asteriismos · 4 years

Text

Tear You Apart -- Bill Denbrough

Authors Note : wooo this was a whirlwind to write. self quarantine is slowly starting to eat me alive, but I hope everyone is doing good! stay healthy and wash hands! also, if anyone wants to be on the tagging list, just shoot me a message or an ask! I also changed around the request slightly but it’s pretty much the same thing. Requests are still open.

Warning(s) : smut ( obviously ), seventeen! bill denbrough, choking, this is kinda just filth but what’s new, im going to hell

Request :

Loved your last bill smut you posted! Can you do one where the losers all have a sleepover and Bill has to share an air mattress with the reader and they end up having really hot sex while trying not to wake up the losers yet fail bc the reader is loud asf and maybe the reader has a choking kink and tells him while they’re making out to choke her harder. and the next day they have marks all over? (Sorry my thirst for Bill is unreal rn 😂). Ok so I also wanted to add to my bill x reader smut where he tries to push the reader to her limit and see how many times she can cum and it gets to the point where she’s screaming and crying at the same time bc oof 🥵 that’s hot (again I apologize for my horny ass I just wanted to add a little to my request)

When Richie Tozier gave the suggestion that the friend group should have a sleepover over Labor Day weekend, you were one of the first to scream yes. It was the beginnings of your senior year and you weren't going to waste a second of it, you wanted to spend every second you could with your friends and boyfriend, Bill.

The only problem was that it took a while to find the house you all should sleepover at. Though Richie had the idea, he said that his parents were planning something Saturday night, which meant a no from his end. Eddie’s mother wouldn't allow anyone over because of germs, and Bev’s aunt was not about to have eight teenagers in their apartment.

Luckily, Bill’s parents were out of town for the weekend because of the holiday, so you all finally could take the plan for action.

The rest of the day was dedicated to getting supplies for said sleepover. You and Bill went to the dollar store on the corner for snacks, Mike and Stan went to get as many blankets as they could, Eddie and Richie got movies, and Ben and Beverly set up the spare air mattresses in the large living room.

Once all of you got back, the party finally began.

“We have to watch Jurassic Park. It just came out on to VHS tapes,” Richie begged to the group. “And it’s so good, you gotta admit.”

“Richie, no, come -” Eddie’s rejection sentence got cut off by Richie already putting in the tape. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer, obviously. “Fine, whatever.”

All of you laughed at the two bickering and settled in for the movie. You were sharing an air mattress with Bill, the giant bowl of popcorn sharing both of your laps. You two were all snuggled and cozy under two blankets. As the movie got started, you felt his left hand land on your thigh. It wasn’t unlike him to put his hand there, considering you two weren’t prudes to types of PDA, but for some reason it felt different this time. It felt like there was a motive behind it.

You looked at your boyfriend, and even in the dim lighting of his living room you could see a smirk on his face.

Well, you thought to yourself, two can play at this game.

Your own hand came down under the covers and laid on his thigh, giving it a good squeeze. Bill tensed up under your touch, breathing in a very big amount of air as he kept his eyes on the movie. He wasn’t going to give up without a fight, that was sure.

A good ten minutes passed with no other touches from Bill, maybe he had stopped for the night in fear that your friends would start to notice the strange behavior between the two of you. You two weren’t all that good at being subtle, to be honest.

However, your previous thoughts seemed to be wiped away when you felt his hand go to your waistband of your sweatpants. Your legs tensed up for a moment and your stomach churned, looking around at your friends to see if they noticed. They hadn't, all of them were focused on the movie, since it was getting to the good part. That was a good thing, considering if any of them found out about this ( particularly Richie ) you two would not hear the end of it.

His hand slipped under the waistband and stilled for a moment, almost as if he was asking permission. You grabbed it and squeezed it, signaling that you were okay with it. And with that, he proceeded up go under your underwear lining. You breathed in sharply, causing Ben to look your way.

“Popcorn kernel,” you whispered his way. He nodded and turned his attention to the movie once again. From the corner of your eye you could see Bill laugh a little bit. Glad to see he was enjoying this. You tried to keep your face from reacting when his middle finger entered you.

But it felt really fucking good.

He stayed with one finger for a while, pushing in and out slowly, with rhythm. You turned to look at him and awkwardly held up a peace sign, signaling that you wanted another finger. Bill happily obliged, slipping another finger into you. That was enough to start changing the pace of your breathing, your focus at the bowl of popcorn on your legs. The movie was playing in the background but you couldn’t even think about it. Instead, you were thinking about the earliest you could fuck the shit out of Bill.

Which was now. You couldn’t take it anymore. You had to feel him inside of you, all of him. The want and desire was enough for you to quickly grab his hand, stand up and say, “We’re going to go make some more popcorn.” The Losers nodded, their eyes still fixated on the film. You pulled Bill by the hand into his family’s kitchen, not wasting a second of the limited time you two had before one of them would get suspicious.

His lips caught yours first, his body pushing you up to the top of the island counter. You obliged, scooting so that your butt was seated on the edge of the island, your legs wrapping around his torso. There wasn't an open space between you two as you kissed, the air in the room got hotter and hotter. It was the thrill of you two doing this in his kitchen, but also the thrill that someone would come in and witness the very unholy thing that was going down.

Bill pulled away from your lips, his kisses instead going on your cheek and along your jaw. They got up to your ear and he whispered, “I want to see how many times you can cum.” It sent shivers down your spine. You two probably only had about ten minutes or so before someone got suspicious and would investigate. The thought made a pool begin in your panties.

His hand went back to where it had previously been prior to the kitchen, two fingers reentering you. You moaned into his shoulder, the soft cotton proving to be quite helpful in muffling your moans. But that didn’t seem to be enough for Bill, he was not looking to be caught early. So his hand came up to your throat, squeezing a little bit. Instead of pain, you felt pleasure. Bill had complete control over you and you loved every second of it.

The first orgasm came soon after that, your moans being stifled by his hand and his shirt. You thought that he would stop so he could have some action of his own, but he didn't. Instead his fingers kept going in and out at an even faster rate. It felt good to ride out your high, but now you were so sensitive to his touch.

“Bill, I’m still pretty sensitive,” you choked out against his shoulder. He just nodded his head and kept going. The dominance he was showing was unlike everything before, and you hated to admit that it was turning you on so much.

His lips attached themselves to your neck, his teeth almost expertly biting in just the right spots to get you closer and closer. You counted all the spots that he reached, but lost count in your second orgasm after seven. You’d have to do a lot of damage control with makeup the next day.

Both of Bill’s hands left your body, and for a moment you thought that he was leaving. You opened your eyes and reached out to him, putting your hands on his shoulders. He wasn’t leaving, he was just taking off his belt and unzipping his pants, quickly getting himself out of his boxers.

It didn’t take long for him to enter you, his pace slow as you adjusted to his length. Despite your past two orgasms, you still felt yourself moaning in pleasure from his actions. His hand went back to your neck, repeating the same squeezing motion every time he would thrust into you. You looked past his shoulder at the clock on the wall, seeing that about eight minutes had passed. You were praying that your friends didn’t find you in this position.

“Bill,” you breathed out quietly, feeling the same fire in your stomach grow with each thrust. “I think I’m going to-” Your words were cut off by your third orgasm, hitting you like a tidal wave. He kept thrusting into you faster and faster, then finally reached his own peak, his thrusts becoming sloppier as you both rode it down.

He kissed your forehead, pulling out of you and getting a rag to clean up the mess you two had made. Once you two were moderately clean enough, he redressed and helped you off of the kitchen counter. You semi felt bad, considering you have helped Mrs. Denbrough prepare dinner on this counter many times before and done homework with Bill here too.

“I would just try not to think about it too much,” Bill said, obviously thinking the same thing that you were. Both of you laughed and hugged, your breathing coming to a safe pace again.

When you two walked back into the living room, the movie was showing it’s credits. Both of you tried to seem as normal as possible, but it was inevitable that someone would ask something.

“You two said you were going to get popcorn, where is it?” Eddie asked, his eyebrow raising.

“Yeah, we also didn’t hear the microwave on in there,” Richie added, a smirk plastering his face.

A blush creeped onto Bill’s cheeks and soon your own, realizing that you hadn’t been that quiet and discreet as you two thought.

#bill denbrough smut #bill denbrough #bill denbrough x reader #bill denbrough imagine #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #stanley uris #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #mike hanlon #it #it imagine #it 2017 #it 2019 #it movie #reddie

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lovleez · 3 years

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oner 《恶浪》 mv/film theory

(this is less of a theory and more of a debunking of the mv though)

warnings: mentions of violence, murder (i wont include gifs of the bloody moments but it will be discussed!!!), animal abuse, and a bomb or two ? (someone gets blown up ;-;)

honestly the debunking might get a lil bit dark around the ling chao and ziyang individual parts, so be warned of that!

it would be helpful for you to watch/listen to these to process whats going on here:

oner 《恶浪》 mv (cw blood, murder, animal abuse, & heavy violence - please dont watch if these are triggers for you!!!) (there’s also eng subs in this link ^^)

oner - AGENT (this is a song, but there’s quite a bit of dialogue near the end that ties into this plot!) (cw gunshot, beeping noises that resemble a bomb ?? - all at the end of the song w/ the dialogue)

okay lets dive into it d(^-^)> !!!

to get the important info out of the way!

the start of the mv shows the three of them chilling on the couch, as friends do, watching,,well themselves on the screen (oner’s past performances as idols) (and i do believe that the idols part of this has some significance that i can figure out). the important takeaway from the beginning rlly is that they’re three good friends...who are completely unaware of each other’s secret occupations

their occupations being: ziyang, a murderer, yueyue, a spy, and ling chao, a hacker

now to jump into the main story! (starting around 1:35)

yueyue and ziyang both have the same target: the man in the restaurant. however yueyue gets there first and does his job well, as he gets away without being caught. ziyang is frustrated that his target is taken already.

*interesting detail here, but when trying to enter, ziyang shows them a ring with a purple jewel in the middle for entry,,,coincidentally, the man yueyue kills in the bar in his personal segment in the film later also has the same ring? obv the ring is for the restaurant entry so maybe ziyang wasn’t going to kill this “boss” but maybe negotiate/discuss something with him instead...but also thats disproven by the fact that ziyang pulled out a gun to presumably shoot him before realizing the dude was dead....

but also,,,suspicious how there was a zoom in to the purple ring when yueyue kills the man in the bar..maybe it means more than we think it does? altho im not too sure what to think abt it for now

for reference:

ziyang’s ring

dead man in bar’s ring

moving on

okay so since yueyue is a spy n all, he has to confirm his kill somewhere right? this somewhere is a phone booth,,,one that ling chao has rigged up with a bomb,,,,

speculation: someone hired ling chao to kill someone who will be approaching the phone booth; at this time, lc doesn’t know that this someone is yueyue (and is v shocked to see him there through his cameras as evident by his “what the hell! are you kidding me?”)

....and after this part the film dives into their personal stories to give more background on who these three are (i’ll expand on those after i finish explaining the present timeline ^^) before coming back to the main story

so!

ling chao “accidentally” blew up yueyue oh no (he’s still alive tho yey)

& then yueyue holds up a piece of candy,,,and immediately knows its ling chao (cuz its the piece of candy lc was eating earlier in the film)

(and to take care of all loose ends that my brain is providing me with: in the beginning they didn’t know abt each other’s secret occupations...how does yueyue know that lc is capable of doing this? my answer: they used to be agent buddies!!! i’ll expand on this later hehe)

and so

it was at this moment ling chao knew...he fucked up

he’s afraid yueyue might come after him.

which, is exactly what yueyue does

after going home or somewhere, yueyue receives a text telling him to get rid of “them” (ling chao) bc his “identity is exposed”

....so now yueyue has to go and hunt down his buddy ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

and they fight! looks very painful for ling chao,,,poor dude,,,

since ziyang comes out from the back door to join the fight, theres two possibilities that come from this:

1) ling chao knew yueyue was coming and knew he couldnt take him down himself (lets be honest; he looks rlly scrawny) so he called ziyang to his location for backup (how could he know ziyang can fight? agent buddies 👐)

2) ziyang and ling chao live together in the same house

anyways, both results making it obvious that ling chao and ziyang are on the same team while yueyue is on another (lets ignore the fact that ling chao was getting up to fight ziyang as well)

the fight scene is so dramatic oml T-T

ziyang could also be motivated to beat up yueyue in this fight cuz the dude did take his target before he himself could (loophole: how did ziyang know it was yueyue who took his target? answer: maybe yueyue left like a signature or smthn at the crime scene, or ziyang saw him walk out ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ )

and when they all beat the living heck out of each other and are dramatically lying down in different areas of the room

the tv turns on to a council saying “still want to be idols?”

(and remember, the thing they were watching on tv earlier was themselves performing,,,as idols. i cant connect it further than that so lemme know if yall figure smthn out ^-^)

so mayhaps this council is yueyue’s agency and they wanted to turn the trio against each other...? they would have set this whole situation up: they knew ziyang wanted to kill the restaurant “boss”, so they assigned yueyue to take care of him first, which creates conflict between those two. then, they hired ling chao to rig up a phone booth with a bomb; basically setting him up against yueyue

whether this council succeeds with their plan or not is unrevealed bc the film has a “to be continued” at the end, so the storyline still will have more to it!!!

although i would say the council succeeded since they all did beat each other bruised and bloody

that leaves the question: why is the council setting them up against each other?

what are there previous connections beyond them just being friends 👀 ?

and here i shall bring back the “agent buddies” bit i was talking abt earlier, as well as why i linked the agent song in the beginning

near the end of the mv, there’s quite a lot of dialogue between the three of them, and it goes like this:

[robotic voice: welcome agent oner

ling chao (?): check

yueyue: yo what up guys!

ziyang: yo what up bro

ziyang (yueyue?): alright lets take them out

yueyue: okay gentlemen we got a lot to do

ziyang: ey we gotta finish this quick, i got a date tonight

yueyue: really?

ziyang: no hard feelings (couldnt catch the rest)

yueyue: okay shut up

ling chao: hey guys, i saw a hit

(?): copy that

yueyue (ziyang?): hold your breath....now

ling chao: guys watch out

yueyue: okay guys locked and loaded

*single shot can be heard, then the reloading of a gun*

yueyue (?): go go go!

yueyue: fire fire fire!

yueyue: ???? *indistinguishable orders*

ziyang?: i got trouble i got trouble

yueyue: ?? i got ?? lets go

ling chao: stay together

ziyang (yueyue??): okay set to kill

ling chao: damn the truck is (blown?)

yueyue: what the hell

ziyang: okay let me (???) it

*bomb beeping noises*

yueyue: ???? clean this blood on my shirt]

(not sure how accurate my hearing is but its enough to make some guesses 😅)

agent buddies! the three of them used to be agents, as the song is titled, at some agency...and they probably made a pretty strong team together

the agency story would explain why they all seem to be good fighters too!

thats why the council might have wanted to tear them apart. perhaps the council was doing something that they knew would displease the trio, so they needed them separated lest they team up and try to defeat them

i also think this audio could have been describing a mission going wrong for them, possibly their last one as a team. someone was probably hurt (im betting on either ziyang or ling chao), and they quit the agency and aimed to live normal lives from then on

...but old habits are hard to forget, so ziyang starts to kill ppl in his free time, yueyue joined another agency as a spy, and ling chao uses his hacking skills for other purposes

however they all dont tell each other, which could add on to the tension of their fight at the end of the film

now to dive into their individual bits of the film. these all don’t connect much to the main lore, just expands onto their lives with their secret occupations btw!

YUEYUE

his segment details moments in his daily agent life; im guessing he’s not very happy with it judging by his nightmares? or the nightmares are bringing up his past at his old agency which he does not like

he’s also master of disguise woah

personally i think he’s losing “who he is”. he’s always playing the role of another person, always putting on another disguise...so he starts losing his sense of identity (if that makes sense ;-;)

(and if you wanna stretch it and make things wholesome, maybe the only times he [feels like himself] is when he’s around his two friends)

so basically: he’s always filling out other personas to the point where he doesnt know who he is anymore

(this is also the segment where he kills a man in the bar with poison,,,and the man was wearing the same ring as ziyang,,,,which is like Hm. why’d the directors do that 🤔)

ZIYANG

aka the murderer :D

(and not just regular serial killer type, more like joker-esque type where they’re a bit insane,,,)

okay his segment starts of with him dragging a man through a white room, where the floors is covered with plastic, and on the walls are a bunch of clay molds of human body parts

my brain has concluded that! ziyang takes clay and makes molds of his victim’s faces/body parts of who he kills! to make statues!

(i dont even know how i got there aksjdhdh but thats just what i assumed the first time i watched this film thingy)

and to make it more messed up than it already sounds,,,im guessing he’s a famous statue maker too, and holds shows where he presents his works to the public and maybe even bids them off ?

,,,,little did the audience know,,,,

(this kinda remind me of sally and gabe’s statue from the pjo too now aksjhdkdh)

(i got this assumption from 6:50 in the film where he walks out in front of an audience who start clapping,,,and let my brain run wild with the rest,,,)

of course, he probably kills off the people he was the molding the clay off of once he’s done with his works,,,or sometimes even in the middle of his works as shown in the mv (*-* )

but alas that is not all to his story,,,

judging by his flashbacks when he’s beating that one dude to death with a bat, he used to be bullied when he was in school, which seems to be the source of all his anger throughout the film..

( yeah he killed the bullies too (_ _ )> )

its part of his personality to be rough and short tempered - he doesn’t like people looking down on him (as the bullies did)

and,,,if you want to be wholesome again! perhaps he found some bits of happiness and peace when hanging out with the others :]

LING CHAO

cw: animals abuse!!!

his is pretty simple and is already explained in the mv itself! i’ll walk ya’ll through it though in case you didn’t watch the film tho akdjdjkf

basically: he’s just a dude who loves dogs :]

a lot

in his segment, a girl (handong, looking absolutely stunning ToT) approaches him wanting to take home another stray, and when he asks her where how the previous dog she adopted was doing, she says that “my bestie loved him a lot, so i gave him to her” ( -_- )

so...he lets her keep the dog, but also decides to keep an eye on her...to the point where she becomes very paranoid that someone is stalking her (which..she isnt wrong in)(but she doesn’t believe it to be ling chao because they’re..dating? i think? and he lulls her into a false sense of security that he’ll protect her from harm)

and then bam! one day he breaks into her house, steals the dog away, and then,,,,blows her up,,,,,

(i must say as disturbing this scene is,,,,i absolutely adore ling chao’s look here askjdjfd)

(i mean?? look at him?? loving the black lipstick ugh)

(v pale tho ;-;)

okay anyways the next flashbacks reveal that handong was abusing her dogs & starving them, and him being the animal lover he is, decides to kill her for it ig

(also she,,,stabbed the other dog that she “gave to her bestie” so-)

yeahh thats the end of his story; nothing much to take from it except that his hacker skills are still intact past agent days

annnd thats a wrap folks! nothing else to expand on; i’ll definitely make another part to expand on this if they decide to release another mini film in the future tho :]

#violence cw #animal abuse cw #oner #yueyue #mu ziyang #ling chao #ayra goes crazy #so i didnt add much original lore here but...eh...#cant wait to see how qins ent is gonna expand on the onerverse :>#plz tell me if i missed any warnings!!

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mousehole5000 · 3 years

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tgcf again chapters 174-191. im now midway through book 4. pain and suffering. and yet also.... this is really good.... but also.... pain...

okay cave of ten thousand gods everythings coming out into the light.... xie lian pretending not to hear fengqing drop their act im emotional..... fengqing silently working together to separate xie lian and hua cheng im emotional..... every word that comes out of mu qing’s mouth im emotional....

honestly reading the xianle trio discussing hua cheng.. its very hard for me NOT to project all the times ive been in a friendship trio and someone got a boyfriend the other two didnt like (which was every time. theres never been a bf everyone liked. sometimes i was the one who had the bf. there were no winners then and tbh i predict there will be no real winners here as far as this friendship goes but such is life)

mu qing is so smart he’s clever he’s tricksy i love it i love him ugh

“A pair of arms had circled around him from behind, and hugged him with force all of a sudden. Xie Lian had buried his face in his back, and also didn’t speak. Though nothing was said, it was enough.” okay i cant get into every different way im feeling about whats going down bc it would get Too Personal but this..... im emo. also xie lian saying “something like this has to be said clearly“ and then proceeding to not say a word just going in for a hug is a mood

“He heard Hua Cheng’s staggering voice coming from above. “...Your Highness. You really…will be the death of me.” - ok well DONT SAY THAT!! now im worried!!!

“Hua Cheng, however, only snorted, appearing as if his eyes could see through the thick rocky walls. He said darkly, “Don’t worry. If he kills one, I’ll make ten more. Fast and furious like the storms, I will never back down. Let’s see who’s the one left standing in the end.” Xie Lian’s heart skipped a beat for some reason, and he mumbled inwardly, “... Oh no, this is bad.” Even though Hua Cheng’s expression was subconsciously displayed, Xie Lian really was quite weak to this aggressive and rebellious confidence of his.” - fjadskfajsl its okay xie lian honey you never know whats going to do it for you

okay so are the murals and statues are only from the xianle era? im hoping hua cheng didnt secretly follow xie lian during his time as a mortal during the entire 800 years and then pretend to a total stranger that would be too much imo lets see. i still really do get why feng xin and mu qing are like “...dude wtf lets get out of here stay away from that guy” (also tbh probably if theyd all managed to stay close... this probably wouldnt be happening which isnt a judgement im just saying bc thats definitely how ive felt about friendships) although this whole thing IS indeed tinged with homophobia which i still dont think makes sense in this setting but whatever i guess.

BOOK 4!!!! im scared

“A few days ago he nearly fainted, and it was only after that did he realize it was because he hadn’t had anything to eat for several days.” - unfortunately relatable but :(

“Ever since Xie Lian was young, he had never had to consider these kinds of affairs, and this was truly the first time in decades that this problem gripped him. However, if gods didn’t even know what starvation felt like, how could they possibly understand the feelings of a starving worshipper? How could they possibly empathize? At this point, he could only take this experience as a form of training.” - TRUE THO!!!!!!!! i like seeing this even tho the circumstances are sad

wait does xie lian get his bad cooking skills from him mom? im gonna cry...

“After returning to the city, Mu Qing’s stomach was still turning. He said as he stumbled, “I thought…that porridge, it smelled like bran water, but I hadn’t thought it’d taste like it too!” Feng Xin gritted his teeth. “Shut up! Don’t force people to remember that pot of stuff! The queen is…body of ten thousand gold after all…never cooked…this is already…UGH!…” Mu Qing humphed. “Did I say something wrong? If you didn’t think it was like bran water, why don’t you…go ask the queen to grant you another bowl! UGH!…” The two were heaving back and forth, and Xie Lian grabbed hold of the both of them, patting their backs.” - xianle trio.... including simply because it made me do the pleading emoji in real life..... also the way the queen wanted to feed all of them... weeping

i didnt realize that mu qing would still be around during this time.... god the fact that i know theyre all going to split......

“It’s precisely because it’s a time like this that money has to be brought up!” Mu Qing countered. “A time like this? What time is it? Time when we’re starving! It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to admit it, but nothing can be done without money! Can you both not just suck it up a little bit?” - mu qing i love you. god.... for real the fact that he comes from a completely different background than the other two is so important to his character and i think it shows so much in the way he continues to be in the present. he gives me the vibe of someone who is smart and hardworking but is bitter about it and tbh!!!! i get why he is!!! he’s very aware of these kinds of concerns bc he’s had to be, while the other two kind of think theyre above it and its a big difference between them. he’s still separated by the circumstances of his birth despite how much harder he’s worked to get to where he is.... ugh painful and delicious

i really am enjoying the xianle story tbh. xie lian going from his highness, favored by heaven, well-intentioned but lacking in experience and understanding to living in poverty and fighting with mortals who disrespect him. fucking delicious i mean this sincerely and respectfully im sad but i really like his character arc. and then to how he is in the present....

“Mu Qing looked at him, speaking not a word. Then he bowed deeply and really turned around to walk away.” - OH NO ITS HAPPENING AHHHHH ;_; honestly all of this hurts but it feels real like i think mu qing has every right to want to leave honestly and he DOES have other family and other ambitions outside of the trio... and i get why feng xin is mad about him wanting to leave when theyre suffering!! and i get why xie lian lets him go.... friendships are hard man and the pain of them splitting is rough!!!!

“Mu Qing’s departure had really shocked him to the core. First, he had never thought that someone so close would just up and leave. Second, Xie Lian had always believed in “forever”. For example, friends would always be friends forever; no betrayal, no deception, no breaking up. Perhaps there’d be times when they’d part, but it for sure wouldn’t be over reasons like “life is too horrible” - pain. just pain. same as above i get it but it hurts

“Xie Lian didn’t know too well just how much money would be considered normal when buying over ten lanterns, and he never looked at the price tag when he purchased things in the past.” - i feel bad kicking him while he’s down and he’s still trying to be kind even when it costs him but this is the first thing that came into my mind

but also oh?? spirits of soldiers from the battlefield you say?? hmmm i wonder... who.... could possibly be among them....

“If you remain forcibly, you won’t be able to rest in peace,” Xie Lian said. The nameless ghost didn’t seem to care. “I pray to never rest in peace.” - i cant lie this legit gave me goosebumps lol

“Xie Lian himself was alright in suffering through it, since there were far too many other things to worry about. But his mother, who had lived a comfortable, luxurious life, when had she ever done such crude labour? But if the queen didn’t do this work herself, who else could take over?” - hmmmm!!! housekeeping!!!! it matters!!!! rich people dont appreciate how much until they have to do it themselves!!! but this still makes me sad

oh god THATS when they pawned hongjing?? with the king sick and mu qing leaving?? :(((( even more emotional about its appearances in the present day

“That passerby chuckled. “You don’t know? This is too exciting! The servant is beating the master!” - oh god the dramatic and ironic timing of it all

god..... this is just... a sad time....

“MU QING ISN’T LIKE YOU ALL. HE’S MY FRIEND, HE WOULD NEVER HELP YOU!!!” [cut to] “Those were the only words echoing in Xie Lian’s mind, but he couldn’t utter a single sound, and could only crazily grab at anything at his disposal to throw. He didn’t care who he was hurling at, either. Finally, Mu Qing couldn’t take this anymore, and he steeled his face as he swept his sleeves and left. Xie Lian panted harshly for a bit and fell back down, spacing out again.”- IM SAD!!!!!! tbh i wonder if on some level xie lian kind of felt like mu qing owed him? i know he said to forget about that stuff to both of them but its one thinig to say it and think you mean it and another to have to deal with it

white no-face what is your DEAL!! also all the little fire ghost bits im...

“After having exchanged so many words, Feng Xin finally got the gist of what had transpired. He widened his eyes and pointed at Mu Qing, unable to speak. A moment later, he bent down and grabbed a sack and flung it over, roaring. “SCRAM! SCRAM SCRAM SCRAM!” Mu Qing was hit in the face by the sacks of rice he brought and backed two steps away. All three of them in the house were panting harshly.” - this is it this is the part where i closed my laptop and said “noOOooOOOoooo” out loud to my room im so upset... and mu qing still tried to leave the rice even after the broom thing im ;_;

“Feng Xin was completely convinced that he would never do such a thing, but that was precisely why this had become the worst-case scenario!” - pain, suffering, dismay, etc

“Feng Xin continued, “If Your Highness thinks your life might be in danger, I can finish this for you, I won’t tell Her Majesty, haha.” - bless your heart for trying feng xin

“But it shouldn’t be like this. The Feng Xin of the past would have absolute faith in him no matter what! Even if there was only twenty percent doubt, it was still unbearable!” - AHHHHHHH okay idk if i really have much to say about their relationship other than im sad but IM SAD!!!!

the differences between feng xin and mu qing’s relationship with xie lian are so interesting. feng xin has clearly always idolized xie lian a lot while mu qing hasnt at least not in the same way and he seems like he has some resentment towards xie lian (thats how i read it anyway thats what i said about it at the beginning of book 2 and i think its understandable and can be a very real part of friendships) that feng xin doesnt and i just think thats neat!!

“He was firmly tied down upon the altar, that broken base of the statue under his body. There were many people squeezed below the altar, and pair after pair of round, unblinking eyes were watching him.” - hmmm dont think i like where this is going

“Yet, before he could finish, he realized that the white silk that he used to cover his face had been undone. In this moment, the thing that had him completely tied down was that exact white silk.” oh my god wait is this ruoye?? is ruoye that same ribbon???? ill cry

“The hand stained with blood, the one that ended a life, was immune to the Face Disease.” - ohhh shit okay. okay okay. okay. shit okay. i See now.... so if youre an innocent civilian the only way to escape this fate (and the faces are actually the souls of other innocent civilians) is to get rid of your innocence... and doesnt this disease not actually hurt its just horrific? god.............

“White No-Face pitied, “You think they don’t want to do it? Wrong, it’s not that they don’t want to, it’s solely because no one wants to be the first, that’s all.” - shut up!!! youre the one who created this situation dont fucking preach about the way you think the world is

“He forced down the mouthful of blood and hissed, “What are you laughing at? You think that you got what you wanted? This was all forced by you!” The ghost fire within the ghost’s hand flickered even more fiercely.” - yes exactly!!! you put people in extreme circumstances sometimes they do extreme things!! youve proved nothing!! god i do love when characters say exactly what im thinking. plus the first ones who caved were trying to save their child

“He felt that, if he was to let them do what they wanted, there was something in his heart that would never return to its original state.” - :( also i kind of feel that in my life sometimes and i just hope xie lian’s heart ends up in a state he’s happy with

“He didn’t dare to look at what had become of the person lying on the altar, because what laid there didn’t look human anymore.” AHHHHHH!!! :(((( i mean i get why this event is what made hc... level up??? thats not a good way to describe it fjasldkfjaslk but you know what i mean... that line about being powerless to help your beloved OOOOOOF

okay well finished that chapter im. pain. hmmm. pain. i dont know if i actually have any words rn lol but im gonna stop here for now

#half of my commentary is just me going wow im sad!! this is sad!! pain!! wow sad!!!#anyway i love xianle trio with my whole heart they really do feel so real #mouse mumbles #tgcf liveblog #hc also feels real but in a way i might not ever talk about lol we'll see

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its-jijii · 4 years

Text

bsd character traits

howdy. idk how to start this. okay recently have been analyzing characters and,, i realized that most characters in bsd have traits (mainly one) that are blown rlly out of proportion. no spoilers below the cut i just don’t want to spam dashboards with longass posts 😩

so. a lot of bsd characters can be incredibly simplified and easy to explain. most characters that i can think of have a certain personality trait or something that makes up a lot of their character? for instance, i can say some of these traits and you’d be able to point to a certain character. childish and arrogant. happy and optimistic. obsessive and stalkerish.

ranpo, kenji, and higuchi. it’s like that for most characters, though. most of these traits are normal, or their causes are normal (such as higuchi’s “obsessive” behavior likely being a result of some mix of anxiety and idolization). anxiety and idolizing is okay and normal and moderation, but those traits are combined and amplified, which makes up a large portion of higuchi’s characterization. being optimistic is pretty normal,,, but kenji’s character is centered around being incredibly happy.

now this isn’t to say that this is a flaw in character design, or that it makes characters flat or boring. rather, i think it’s a pretty neat and interesting writing on asagiri’s part. y'know that post that’s like “if you can recognize a character by their outline, you know that it’s a good character design” or something like that,, yeah i think it's kinda like that but in writing instead of drawing? if you can write down a list of traits and think of certain bsd characters, then you’ve got a lot of the character covered already.

that isn’t to say that these traits are all that a character is, but mainly how they’re characterized and viewed. of course there is more to these characters, but if you were trying to summarize something, it’s very easy to simplify things to those traits. i think of this kind of like taking a character at face value.

looking at a character’s dominant trait(s) and mainly associating that with them seems like taking their (entire) character at face value. and i don’t think that’s necessarily always a bad thing! but i think it’s also important to look past those fronting traits and see smaller parts of the character, or the reason characters are that way. looking past dazai’s intense suicidal character and secrecy, you find that he can be manipulative. looking past alcott’s intense anxiety, you’ll see that she is actually very intelligent and capable, but those traits are mainly covered up by her “face value” trait.

then, there’s the matter of how strange or abnormal these traits are. honestly at first, tanizaki or kenji didn’t stand out as “extreme” anything,,, that i think is bc asagiri does a good job at making some things subtle and weave perfectly into their character. some stuff, like akutagawa’s intense desire for approval and determination, can’t really be missed. tanizaki may seem like an all over kind of moderate character, but i think that it just happens to be that his “extremes” are more normalized or hidden.

for instance, tanizaki seems pretty anxious. mainly noticed this in his first appearance where he was pretending to be a bomber- bouncing his leg, apologizing thoroughly afterwards and making sure atsushi was okay, etc. seemed like he was having some anxieties over the matter. this stuff is pretty normal given the situation, and in smaller amounts is normal. the situation definitely made those actions seem more situational and less like a part of tanizaki’s character.

there’s also tanizaki’s hidden extreme, which is his obsession and protectiveness of his sister (which i also wrote about a bit). again, loving and being protective of someone, especially a sibling, is pretty normal. but with bsd, it seems like these normal traits are just,, blown out of proportion? suddenly they’re very intense, very extreme, and you tend to associate those traits with the character afterwards.

kenji’s “extreme” would be his optimism and happiness, which again doesn’t seem like an extreme, likely cause it isn’t bad. unlike negative traits like possessiveness or being gloomy, happiness when amplified doesn’t stand out that much. extreme possessiveness or antisocial behavior definitely stands out more. kenji’s happiness is simply a part of his character, and it seems like it's more like “him” than an attribute he has. he doesn’t have happiness, he is happy. really fuckin happy. kind of alarmingly happy?? i’m scared of him but that’s for another post.

anyway uhhh now that i’ve kinda talked about the traits and why they do or don’t stand out, i’m gonna just. do a list thing. with everyone’s traits. yes. i’m sorry this is gonna be rlly fucking long,, this is everyone’s “extremes” and maybe why. also this order is coming straight off the wiki sorry in advance 🥳 not including smaller side characters (office assistants, elise, and herman melville)

ada

atsushi - he’s kind of complicated but atsushi seems like a mix of extreme anxiety, desire to prove himself/do good, and babey. he’s absolute babey. most of this is due to past abuse in the orphanage. some of his smaller traits include fear of pain/death, bravery, and kindness. sometimes these traits contradict each other which is why i say he’s complicated. while afraid of pain and death, his desire to prove himself pushes him into brave and risky acts. while he is generally kind and he wants to do good for others, that sometimes means being brutally honest or pushy. (see: interactions w/ aku, especially in cannibalism arc)

dazai - extremely suicidal and fake (fake happiness/outgoingness). mainly, though, is his over the top suicidal ideation. he is incredibly suicidal, and if asked to point out the most suicidal character in bsd, there’s a very clear answer: the suicide maniac. dazai is also one of the incredible geniuses in the series, which surfaces quite often. some of his smaller traits that i said earlier would be that he’s manipulative, a liar, and insensitive. personally i think these are some of his most intense traits, but it also seems like he’s one of the characters taken at “face value”, with these other traits overlooked due to his excessive suicidal ideation/being eccentric. i could ramble more but i will save my dazai shit-talking for my other analysis. oh and i say that his faking expressions is different from lying. one is purposefully being deceitful for personal gain, where faking an emotion/reaction is simply to hide one’s true feelings.

kunikida - extremely strict and idealistic. heavily imposes his standards on not just himself, but everyone around him. can make him easily angered. some of his less evident traits are fear of failure and sadness over not being able to save people. his fear of failure can be hidden by his strict and confident nature. he also tends to act very neutral and unaffected when discussing past failures (usually people dying), which gives off an uncaring attitude. contrary to that, though, kunikida cares a lot! while it’s somewhat unclear as to why kunikida is so set on his morals, it may be his way of dealing with perfectionism issues and fear of doing things incorrectly. if all that is supposed to be done and all of his beliefs are written in his notebook, it is easier to stay to a strict schedule.

ranpo - childish and arrogant. i could leave it at that because that's 90% of him but i won’t. ranpo’s inflated ego was likely born from some kind of entitlement (im sorry that sounds mean let me make amends). with him being a great detective and the ADA being founded for him likely contributed to him having a great feeling of importance and intelligence. honestly that’s understandable though, he is a respectable genius. underneath those domineering traits are strong desires for praise, to fit in, and some motivation issues. ranpo really wants to believe that he is gifted, as he would feel like the odd one out if he didn’t have one. he will do anything for fukuzawa’s praise, which is probably linked to some childhood issues. lastly, his motivation- it’s connected to his tendency to find everything boring, and if something is boring, it isn’t worth his time.

yosano - sadistic and dominant. this sounds like weird bedroom shit but i swear it isn’t. mainly, the sadism comes to light when she’s using her ability or when she’s fighting- both which include her using weapons on other people. her domineering personality is also not always evident, as she is able to talk with a calm front if the situation needs it, mainly in civilized ADA meetings. otherwise, yosano will get intense and competitive, with an underlying desire to win. to some degree i think this aggression comes from wanting to stay in her position in life- she worked to get there, and she won’t back down from anything that may challenge or disrupt that.

kenji - overly happy and trustworthy. this is pretty clear from looking at him, but again doesn’t stand out that much,, it’s an extreme, but it’s an extreme feeling rather than mindset/goal. his happiness also doesn’t hurt anyone, so it’s less noticeable when he’s working with others- it often won’t affect them, aside from perhaps encouraging them or cheering them up. kenji is also, as we have seen, too trusting. he believes that trusting others is a good thing that will always lead to a good outcome. since this is an extreme belief rather than a feeling, it’s projected on his surroundings a bit more. i can’t explain any of his underlying traits or causes as we don’t know a ton about him :<

fukuzawa - kinda tough to say, but i guess extremely calm and protective? i wanted to say emotionless but he definitely has emotions, he just conceals them very well. rather, he tends to stay calm in almost every situation, no matter how bad it looks. he is also very protective of the detective agency and yokohama as a whole. underneath the mask, fukuzawa is caring- he literally never shows it, but i’ve never seen him scold someone, get mad, or punish someone (except post-cannibalism, but that wasn’t bad). he often looks angry but isn’t really, nor is he super strict. his past is still a bit too unknown for me to guess at why he’s like this.

tanizaki - extremely..... protective......... i just wrote about this ik but yeah uh. tanizaki is protective to the point it’s scary and he’s a danger to others. aside from that, tanizaki often seems very anxious, though he’s usually quite subtle about it. like i said earlier, it usually blends into the situation- if he’s in danger, of course he’s anxious. but, it seems that even when the danger has passed, he has lingering worries about whatever just occurred (getting scared at the mention of yosano’s treatment, desperately trying to find a way around punishment for disobeying fukuzawa). i feel like there’s more but my mind is blanking sorry y’all 😰

kyouka - emotionless? again she definitely has emotions, but similar to fukuzawa, rarely ever shows them. mainly what i mean by this is that she has a very underwhelming reaction to everything. if in danger, she won’t hesitate to do whatever, even if it’s violent, all without an expression. when bad stuff happens, she also doesn’t react much, unless atsushi is in danger or smth. one underlying extreme fear she has is being “evil” i guess? or just fearing the mafia. she absolutely doesn’t want to go back to the mafia, would rather die than kill again, and often has openly fearful reactions when faced with mafia members. her lack of fear and blank expression is probably a result of being desensitized to violence and also bad trauma from the mafia B(

katai - tired and isolated. seeing as how katai literally works from his futon, it’s safe to say that he enjoys sleeping and to some degree is lazy. he doesn’t really do anything, which also is a part of his isolation. i wouldn’t say antisocial behaviors since he isn’t aggressive, but basically he avoids social interactions like the plague. he never leaves his house, is horrible at talking to people, and is completely fine being cooped up in a small space for a week with no human contact. i’m sure people enjoy their alone time and sitting in bed.... but uhhhh....... yeah literally living in bed for a week with the only human contact being having take out dropped off? kinda extreme. his less evident trait goes hand in hand with social isolation- anxiety, or more specifically, social anxiety. what we mainly see of katai is during the small pre-cannibalism arc, which also shows his social anxiety. had the chapter not included going outside and interacting with girls, it would likely be unnoticeable. he is comfortable at home and doesn’t have that much of an issue with facing people and talking to them. however, he was very awkward in his interactions with higuchi (talking to her and pointing another way), as well as not knowing how to confess his love for gin.

akutagawa - i’m so sorry in advance, akutagawa’s is rlly long bc he is kinda just. extreme. so uh, desire to get praise/prove himself, and few but extreme emotions. akutagawa’s most defining trait is his obsession with being acknowledged by dazai. unfortunately, it doesn’t end there- his very character extreme, a constant black and white fluctuation with no gray in between. there isn’t much of a spectrum with him, as it will be all or nothing. this applies to his view of others, view on the world, himself, his emotions, and actions.

his emotions have been stated to be none at all, or intense anger/hatred and deep respect. his view of others seems to also be on opposite ends of the spectrum. either he likes them & respects them deeply, or he despises them. i can’t think of anyone who is in a neutral zone with him,, maybe he’s indifferent about some people, but i believe the majority of people fall into those two categories. then there are his actions, which are overly brutal even in the mafia. he uses excessive force and slaughter, aiming for flashy crimes to get dazai’s attention.

his view on the world doesn’t fluctuate as much, instead seeming to be fixated in one view- the world is cruel and harsh, and there are weak people and strong people. to him, the natural order of things is that the weak must die to make way for the strong. he also applies himself to a similar belief- either he is stronger, better, and more capable than everyone else, or he is weak, a failure, and would rather die than face defeat. extreme!

mori - lack of impulse control and being an organized mess. by organized mess i mean that he thinks a lot, is smart, and leads the mafia,, buut he also seems not the best at some tasks (darts. professionalism. being a doctor?? didn’t he lose his medical license?) mori’s bad impulse control can be tied into his disarray kinda. this is hard to word but it’s kind of like when he’s presented with an issue, he immediately and casually defaults onto an extreme solution (three way war? okay let’s kill the president of the ada!) while i’m sure these things have been thought out beforehand, it’s his sheer wack presentation of things that make him look immature, irresponsible, and kinda bad at his job.

chuuya - loyalty and irritability/aggression. while i do not believe we have seen the extent of his loyalty, it is worth noting that even after four years he trusts dazai with his life, despite dazai being a dishonest and irresponsible bastard. not trustworthy imo, but chuuya’s lingering feelings of loyalty do hold out. though not full trust and likely expecting something to go wrong, he still ends up trusting dazai. otherwise, chuuya is shown to be very loyal to the mafia, going measures to make sure dazai wouldn’t frame him to get kicked out. then there’s his irritability and aggression,, he’s shown to easily get angry and start fights with little provocation. some underlying(?) traits are his confidence (and sometimes arrogance), and his uhh,, diplomatic abilities?? idk what to call it, but if needed, he will calm down and focus to talk things out and make deals. most of these traits i believe can be linked to his old gang and possibly how they treated him due to his status as a powerful ability user. some of these also don’t seem extreme- he’s not extremely diplomatic, after all. buut these traits strongly contrast each other to make the switch more evident and dramatic.

higuchi - obsessive and stalkerish behaviors. personally i believe that this behaviors are rooted in a mixture of anxiety, loyalty, and idolization. i don’t know that higuchi has explained her infatuation with akutagawa, but it’s likely that she just admires him a lot. she also is shown to have a crush on him, which leads to the ideas that she’s obsessive and stalkerish. while i don’t deny those behaviors, i think that they’re mainly loyalty and anxiety dependent on idolization- except blown out of proportion and so extreme that she seems like a stalker. as she is loyal and deeply respects akutagawa, she also cares for him and his well-being considerably, as shown by the many times she interjects when his health is at risk. she is very, very anxious about his health, which likely is the cause for some of her obsessive behaviors (following him everywhere, trying to assist him constantly even when he says no, risking her life for him, etc). however, some isn’t all, so some of her stalkerish behaviors are genuinely rooted in a crush. but again it seems like this crush is just rlly fuckin extreme which is why she’s so persistent and radical in her attempts to help him/win him over.

kajii - curiosity. idk that this one needs a lot of explaining? his main focuses of curiosity are of god and science, but alone i don’t believe those things are extreme obsessions- he isn’t shown to praise god religiously (haha) like a certain someone, and obsession with science is already a kind of fixation on learning and curiosity, even outside of bsd. the entire concept of science is the study of the unknown. curiosity is a necessity if you are to be interested in science; its basis is observing, creating hypotheses, designing experiments, and then testing said hypotheses several times before compiling results and data into a conclusion. kajii’s fascination with experimenting is rooted in his desire to observe what happens, gather results, and learn from the experience. he is inherently curious about many things, but yes, most notably science and god. as for why..... no clue tbh.

kouyou - it’s kind of a control thing, whether it be with controlling/leading people, or being in control of tasks/responsibilities. there’s also a protective nature displayed, most notably of kyouka. in that sense, kouyou demands an amount of control over people and situations to execute action. her appearance also gives the impression that she is very specific and selective with her attire and how she presents herself- choices she has made, not mandated by anyone else. kouyou holds the position of one of the mafia’s five executives, and there’s nothing really to suggest that she is a bad leader or that she abuses her power.

while sometimes misguided and blinded by her own experiences, kouyou’s intentions are often to protect, help, and teach, which are not bad at all. her execution of these could be worked on, but at heart she is trying to do good. currently this intense protective nature is fixed on kyouka, though it is alluded that there may have been a somewhat similar relationship with chuuya. as for why she is this way, she has already explained it with her past relationship in which her lover was killed while trying to escape with her. she doesn’t want that to happen again to those she loves.

q - he’s a mix of stuff, but mainly intense switches in mood/mindset and chaos. there’s also an underlying desire to be loved and to be not used, or “cursed”. q holds the belief that his ability is a curse that he never asked for (understandably), and has expressed that he wishes that he wasn’t forced to use his ability. paired with this wish to not be used is his wish for love- while never explicitly stated by him, he reacted very badly to being told that god is real but doesn’t love him. however, he probably wishes for more than just god’s love. q’s intense loneliness and wishing for someone to care for him can likely be attributed to the fact that he is only 14, has no friends, and seemingly spends all of his time locked up somewhere in the port mafia dungeons because he’s too dangerous.

on the more evident side, q has extreme mood switches; he can bounce back and forth in between not wanting to hurt anyone or use his ability and then hating everyone and cursing everyone. his expression of these emotions are usually extreme, too- crying, sobbing, and begging can morph quickly into screaming, howling, and cursing others. these mood swings and hatred for others can also be attributed to his status in the mafia. it’s only natural for him to hate people when he only sees himself being used. his ability also is on the extreme side. both in what it is (mind control) and how it’s triggered (someone hurting him) speaks lengths of exactly how extreme his ability is. another smaller extreme that just occurred to me is his pain tolerance. he can be seen joyously causing intense injuries to himself which indicates that smaller and self-inflicted injuries are completely manageable for him.

oda - oda is weirdly like the opposite of what this post is about. there’s nothing really extreme about oda, unless you want to say he’s extremely bland? (i’m sorry hear me out) the entire thing with oda is his lack of emotions or opinions, and while i’m certain he has them, he very rarely expresses them. fun fact but he literally never smiled the entire dark era?? even with the kids 😭 okay but other than his extreme... lack of expressing feelings and opinions.. i think he’s very protective/concerned for others. he of course cares extremely about the orphans in his care, and he also cares for ango and dazai. i think that it can be said that oda’s main extreme is his fucking uh,, adopting orphan children. cause if i’m not mistaken he adopts like 15 kids in beast. he’s a serial orphan adopter. as for why, i don’t rlly know. i can guess that his stoic nature is some mix of trust issues and desensitized reactions to death/killing. under all that he’s strongly dedicated to his goals and future (caring for the kids and writing his novel).

hirotsu - honestly. not sure. he’s actually not that extreme. but, to me, his “face value” traits would be that he’s uptight and overly dedicated to tasks, though not to the extent that kunikida is. he was shown to harp on tachihara for being a few minutes late, killed an entire warehouse of people for stealing from the mafia, and tended to take successfully playing dazai’s video game a bit too serious, as he very formally apologized to dazai for his failure. he also seems to be dedicated to the task of supporting yokohama as best as he can, as he stays loyal and productive in the mafia even at his age. i would say that he’s loyal for staying that long (and he is), but he’s not extremely loyal, as he is shown doing random favors for dazai. however, these favors are usually to help support yokohama, so i guess he’s extremely..... uh supportive and trusting?? idk man hirotsu is just not that intense. intensely mysterious and cryptic maybe.

gin - though not exactly a character trait, gin is selectively mute. selective mutism, though normally a childhood anxiety disorder, can persist in late teens and adulthood. most likely, gin is mute by choice- and selective mutism is on the more severe end of the anxiety spectrum. while normal anxiety could cause someone to be shy, anxiety around others that’s so intense that the person can’t speak? yeah. there are, of course, other causes, but based on her interactions with others, it can be inferred that she chooses to stay silent out of fear or anxiety. she is capable of talking in select situations, and she can talk normally to some people. otherwise, she stays silent mostly, which makes her most outstanding trait her muteness. otherwise we haven’t seen enough to say if she has any other extremes. i also don’t have a definitive reason for why she’s mute.

tachihara - tachihara is another character with not many extreme aspects. what stands out most to me is probably his punk and carefree attitude. while he does easily get angry and violent, he can be just as quick to dismiss it if the situation calls for it. he is shown to be a bit more relaxed than his fellow mafia members, and he seems more into having fun with his job than being proper about things. his appearance also gives off vibes of a punk kid with an attitude, probably a mixture of kinda-spiky light hair, loose shirt, and weird fluffy cropped jacket. his attitude and appearance screams laid back to me. plus he dual wields in a weirdly casual way? he doesn’t have two guns to make his shots count and take on more enemies, he has two guns because he’s trigger happy and doesn’t care how bad his aim is. with two guns you don’t need good aim, you’ll eventually hit your target 😎 not enough known about him to say why he’s like this.

ace - not a lot is known about him since he existed for like two chapters BUT. ace is shown to be very greedy and ambitious. he frequently lies and plots to backstab others. if he’s an “extreme” anything, he’s an extreme snake, liar, and manipulative bastard. he also has extremely slimy vibes but that’s probably just me associating all liars and manipulators into super slimy feels. as for why,, yeah no idea? he’s just extremely greedy and willing to step on whoever to get what he wants. that seems to be it though.

the guild

fitzgerald - extreme greed and determination. fitzgerald, while already wealthy, seems to seek more wealth at all times. even if it looks like he is bargaining, offering a large amount of money for something, or even randomly gifting people, he has an ulterior motive. fitzgerald is a businessman and would not strike deals unless they were ultimately profitable for him in the long run. his greed can sometimes be subtle or played off as something “good”, such as when he confronted that one businessman. the businessman admitted to the crime, attempted to pay off fitzgerald into silence, but was backstabbed in the end as fitzgerald provided evidence against him to the court despite the money given.

another one of fitzgerald’s biggest traits is his persistent and determined nature. he is shown to not give up on his goals, no matter what the cost is. he wants to revive his daughter and help his wife? then he has no issues invading a foreign country, waging a gifted war against their gifted organizations, and willingly cursed ⅕ of yokohama with q’s ability, despite the fact that they were all innocent bystanders. as he stated, he was willing to raze yokohama to the ground to get the book. when defeated, it took a bit to convince him to try again, but once he decided to go for success again, it was almost simple for him to regain his status and wealth.

as for why he is so greedy, that isn’t really touched on or explained. his determination and independence can be chalked up to his “rules of success” or whatever. some of his underlying extremities could be social incompetence/ignorance, which honestly kind of makes up a lot of his character? beneath the absolute rich boy is an absolute ignorant rich boy. he seemed to struggle to understand why nathaniel felt responsible for mitchell. he also talks to alcott very flippantly despite her nervous reactions to him (and frequently ignores her warning to not follow dangerous plans). he doesn’t know what it’s like being poor, seen when he just walked into another person’s room in a hotel, thinking that he also owned that room.

montgomery - extremely playful and eager. the eagerness and playfulness kind of go hand in hand, as she is very excitable and loves to use her ability to mess with people and play games. this is evident in how over the top her speech is and how emphasized her actions are (the creepy big smile, her gesturing & clapping, etc.) her eagerness is mainly focused on winning and catching people in her game. these actions tend to blend into her character more than an intensified trait. an underlying strong desire is her desperation to fit in and have a place to belong, which is tied into her over-eagerness to win and do well. this is a result of her upbringing in an orphanage where she was unwanted. having no place to call home, she has fixated on creating a place where she can stay and fit in with others; particularly with other ability users, as she was outcast for having an ability when no one else did.

steinbeck - though not as extreme as some other traits, steinbeck is above average in attributes like determination and a lack of empathy for strangers. his determination, for lack of a better word, will be used more as an umbrella term for his loyalty, thoroughness, and efficiency in his work. when needed, he will finish tasks assigned quickly and without skipping details. he is good at sticking to plans or an order and does his job well. despite disagreeing with fitzgerald’s ambitions and methods, he stays with the guild and even plans to lead it after its fall. his motivations are also rooted in his love and loyalty to his family. however, his intense thoroughness and determination also seems to lead to decreased empathy for others. he willingly went with the emergency plan, despite his ability causing q to curse ⅕ of innocent civilians in yokohama. he was also ready to sacrifice haruno and naomi for the purpose of fulfilling his mission. an underlying (and not as intense) trait is how laid back and casual he is. despite his jobs being cruel and sacrificing others, he does it easily and with a smile.

lovecraft - very very tired. being tired sometimes is normal if you didn’t sleep well, but lovecraft is constantly exhausted and on the verge of falling asleep. basically every scene with him includes him talking about how tired he is, or how much he wants to sleep. there were also instances of him briefly falling asleep in inappropriate scenes, such as when kunikida shot him and during the fight with dazai and chuuya. after the guild fell and his contract with fitzgerald expired, he immediately jumped into the ocean to sleep. aside from being incredibly tired, lovecraft has a few other feelings (though not as severe): being hungry and feeling anxious. hunger isn’t mentioned as much as being tired, nor is his anxiety; however, lovecraft has expressed that he feels anxious around people, as he never really interacts with them or goes out in public. before he was in japan with steinbeck, he apparently hadn’t been outside in four years. another extreme shut in! a bonus thing that we don’t know much about, but lovecraft seems to be bound to contracts he makes; even if he wants to do something else, he must “fulfill [his] contract”. assuming that he has no choice but to do what the contract requires, once he signs a contract, that’s a very powerful thing going on.

hawthorne - well uh. incredibly religious, and extremely dedicated/loyal. the religious part is arguably the biggest part of his character; he is a pastor, dresses like one, carries around a bible, and uses his rosary to activate his ability (which takes the form of verses from the bible). his purpose in life, and in the guild, is to pass on judgement to sinners and punish them. it is his strongest motivator, and he mainly spends his time speaking to god, reading the bible, and deciding how to use his ability to follow god’s will. all religion related- he’s incredibly dedicated. he is also loyal to margaret mitchell, to the point that it diverted him from god. his desire to save her and help restore her honor was also a big thing for him; eventually, this goal overtook following religion, which is a considerable achievement. i say that it overtook religion because he began working with fyodor in order to help mitchell- that was a mistake, as he currently is brainwashed into following fyodor’s orders without ever thinking on his own. he is no longer using his ability to follow his life’s work and to follow god. more underlying traits of his include arrogance and a lack of expressions. basically, doesn’t express much, though his tone tends to be arrogant a lot of the time.

mitchell - with much unknown about her and little screen time, it’s a bit difficult to peg any extremes she has; however, she does possess a lot of arrogance that affects several aspects of her life. first and foremost, this arrogance tends to interfere with her relationships. mitchell is quick to start fights over petty things, automatically placing herself above others and asserting it quite forcefully. secondly, her arrogance disrupts how she acts and perceives others. as stated before, she believes herself to be above everyone else. however, beyond simply stating that, mitchell complains about having to do work when she believes that she is above that, too. she thinks that everyone else should be doing the work, and was shown to get angry at hawthorne when he wasn’t giving orders on the ship. another instance of this arrogance is her severely underestimating enemies, and becoming in critical danger as a result. a less noticeable trait is her honor, sort of? though it seems similar to her arrogance and inflated ego, mitchell is obsessed with restoring honor to her family, to the point that she would risk her life for it.

poe - hoo boy. poe has a few extremes: severe social anxiety/isolation, competitiveness, and a self esteem issue (sort of). poe faced ranpo in a battle of wits some time in the past, and when defeated, apparently fell into a deep depression. normally, someone would accept their failure and move on, but poe instead gained a lot of self-doubt and negative emotions. to recover from that fall, he became obsessed with facing off with ranpo again and winning. he is extremely dedicated and competitive, as he prepared to face ranpo again for six fuckin years. he is stated to be reclusive and shy, talking quietly and hiding his face with his hair. his profile says he dislikes noisy crowds and “being invited to a party and ignored by the only person he knows”. in short, he is not one for socializing or being the center of attention.

some of his underlying traits are his mood swings or conflicting feelings about others. though they aren’t super severe, it is worth noting that it happens quite frequently- he was confident when facing ranpo, then switched to a very depressed and sullen mood when ranpo didn’t recognize him. he was happy when he believed he beat ranpo- again, quickly transformed to intense disappointment and feeling of defeat when he realized that he lost. his conflicting feelings of others is mainly evident in his weird relationship with ranpo. he appears excited and overjoyed to watch ranpo use super deduction, but when asked if he was a fan, replied that they were rivals. when he trapped chuuya and ranpo in the book, he laughed in delight at potentially trapping and winning against ranpo in this way. immediately after, he was struck with the possibility of ranpo actually dying in the book, to which he got quiet and a bit scared about.

twain - another character with a lot of arrogance? but also a lot of excited reactions and constantly looking to mess around and have fun. he is shown to be very laid back and casual about his job, not getting disappointed when faced with defeat; rather, he laughs in excitement about someone being talented enough to escape his sniping. most scenes with him include inappropriate bouts of jokes and requests to engage in silly activities. however, he dislikes being ignored or left behind, so he tends to go with the flow anyway. more regarding his arrogance; twain believes his ability and talent to be great. his last appearance includes him commenting on how he is going to go home and finish writing his autobiography. not much is known about him, so it’s unclear why he is significant enough to write a book about. plus, his likes list himself and praise as the first two. a less evident trait of his, referenced in his likes and dislikes, is what he likes to do. sniping, of course, seems to be his favorite- this is likely because he likes adventure (and probably dangerous tasks/jobs), and dislikes plain or boring work. he likely gets bored easily, similar to ranpo, and needs an engaging and interesting task to entertain him.

alcott - most obviously, alcott has severe anxiety, though mainly it’s related to the social aspects of her life. this timidness and fear of talking to others dominates most of her character, and when thinking of alcott, the first thought that comes to mind is “oh, that really anxious and shy tactician.” alcott, for an unknown reason, relies heavily on approval from others, mainly fitzgerald. she has low self esteem, which also contributes to her fear of talking to strangers; she will run and hide if other people confront her. she only seems to feel more comfortable with fitzgerald, her boss, and poe, her fellow shy writer friend. other than her anxiety, alcott is also incredibly intelligent. it’s overshadowed by her “face value” trait, but is still very prominent. her work as a tactician means that she plans, but even her plans are the epitome of intense. using her ability allows her to write packets of potential outcomes to situations she really has no way of predicting. she also writes what to do should certain problems arise, though her cautious nature appears again as she often strongly recommends that fitzgerald does nothing.

the rats/decay of angels

fyodor - fyodor is another kind of tough one, but i’d say that it’s a mix of intelligence and composed attitude. another character with a very limited range of emotions- iirc there was one time he looked surprised, occasionally looks annoyed or confused, sometimes smiles, but mostly has no expression at all. he has dulled reactions to external stimuli, similar to kyouka, and likely hides his reactions or feelings like fukuzawa. one thing that is known, however, is that he is one of the genius characters and that he is constantly plotting and thinking. while he may not react to things happening around them, i am sure he notices them, takes them into account, and sometimes incorporates them into his complex plans. his ability to predict things rivals alcott’s, to the point that he predicts what everyone will do, how to trick them, and how to exploit the mistakes they will make. unlike alcott, his ability does not allow him to maximize his genius and complex plotting; all of his thinking and planning is done in the moment or before his plans are set into action, which is still impressive on its own. as for why he is like this, completely unknown. he also has a god complex, different from kajii and hawthorne’s religious beliefs. not only is his entire motivation to “cleanse the world of sinners” (ability users), but he has called himself god before. his religious beliefs seem to go beyond simply believing in god or following god’s word; no, he is god, and his job is to kill all ability users.

goncharov - goncharov didn’t show up much, but from what we saw of him, his main extreme is his dedication and loyalty. specifically, goncharov is very dedicated to fyodor- he underwent surgery to have “[his] unhappiness removed”, which makes him appear constantly smiling and declaring how happy he became with fyodor’s help. he is almost obsessive in his loyalty to fyodor, calling him “master” and apparently having similar interests (likes classical music, implied to have tea with fyodor, etc.)

pushkin - again, didn’t show up much, but from what little we saw, he is very ambitious. he found joy in the way his ability was used in the cannibalism arc, stating later on that it was a genius technique and he would find it fun to do it again but with prominent world leaders. ambition is one thing and desiring to cause chaos similar to the cannibalism arc but with world leaders… yeah he must get really bored.

mushitarou - though not quite a character trait, mushitarou is extremely… clean? particular? just by looking at him, you get the impression that he is self absorbed, probably grooms himself a lot (look at his HAIR), and that he is confident. he is also shown to be very demanding, which is where his “particular” thing comes in. he requires everything to be done a certain way, with very specific and high standards. with his ability, he also believes himself to be unbeatable, though this cockiness may have led to him being caught by ranpo. fr if he’s sitting there yelling how he’s gonna get away with it, does he expect to still get away with it?? anyway. i don’t really know why he’s like this or other underlying traits, as our info on him is still pretty limited. i guess he cares about his friend a FUCK TON.

gogol - oh boy. gogol really likes freedom and being a clown. now, being a clown seems like a weird kind of extreme we’re talkin about… but i think that this trait is mainly just emphasized with how outgoing and excitable he is. he dresses like a clown, loves playing weird tricks and games, and frequently gives people “quizzes”. his body language also characterizes him as moving around excessively. overall just a mega clown. then there’s his love of freedom. his recently released character profile states that he dislikes “brainwashing, subordination, being unfree”. all his dislikes are tied into each other and definitely tied into his odd obsession with being free- hell, he even died saying, “this is a prison break! over the innate brainwashing known as morality, i choose the freedom of my soul!” basically, a reality where he must follow what others want is too confining and he would rather die to free his soul than continue living that way. pretty extreme!

sigma - uh my boy has only existed for like 7 chapters but. we’ll go with he’s extremely secretive and also babey. so, with the secrecy, it’s more like he has very bad amnesia and most information is unknown about him. real name, backstory, age, birthday, weight, height, ability name- none of that is clear, so he is either keeping it secret or doesn’t remember (possibly a combination of both.) from what we have seen of sigma, though, he is very kind and considerate of his customers and other people. he is formal and protective of not only his casino, but those staying at his casino. he has spent a lot of time memorizing everyone’s names and info about them for the sake of maximizing their safety and enjoyment. for being a member of a terrorist organization, sigma is a sweetheart. his kindness and innocence are more traits that blend into his character more, so it isn’t as evidently an “extreme”- but i do want to say that he has extreme memory issues and for being in a terrorist organization, he is incredibly sweet, which seems somewhat out of place.

others

ango - ango is very, very hardworking. another dedicated madlad. in dead apple, ango was shown to have willingly pulled several all nighters writing reports on the incident. when we were first introduced to him in the mafia, he was shown to be going above and beyond with his job; rather than writing a list of the people who died, ango wrote out a biography for each person, basically. he was uptight and against slacking in his job, attempting to refuse dazai and oda’s offer to go drinking, and very against being hugged by them when they stank of death. a bit of a clean freak with how uptight and orderly he was. he held a high ranking position in the mafia as an informant, where he handled much of their sensitive information and deals. his job also required him to work as a triple agent- initially in the special abilities department, then sent to infiltrate the mafia, and then in the mafia was sent to infiltrate mimic to work as a double agent. overall, his job(s) required a lot of him and he gladly overworked himself in all of them.

gide - he’s kinda weirdly obsessed with a specific goal? so less a personality trait or even mindset that is amplified, but a strange goal where he, as the leader of mimic, was determined to lead himself and his men into battle with worthy opponents who could kill them. their sheer determination to fight others with the goal of dying, basically a suicide mission, was what stood out. plus, gide was willing to go to horrifying extremes to provoke oda into fighting him. he believed oda to be the only one capable and worthy enough to kill him in battle, and once he realized oda refused to fight him, kidnapped and killed oda’s orphans, essentially angering oda into fighting and killing hm, also killing oda in the process. so still pretty extreme, but also extremely specific.

shibusawa - shibusawa’s extreme traits are boredom, intelligence, and collecting. intelligence is actually kind of dubious, as we don’t know to what extent his intellect is, but it is implied that he at least believes himself to be a genius and in some way or another, superior to everyone around him. he thinks of everyone else as boring, life as boring, and as such is constantly searching to cure his boredom. this boredom is probably his strongest motivator for most things, such as conducting the dragon’s head conflict. this boredom also might be an influence on his collector tendencies, as i believe they work in tandem in his ability use. bored of everything, he finds it interesting to collect things- his ability allows him to separate ability from ability user, so of course he finds it entertaining to watch people duel their abilities, his reward being another ability gem in his large collection. his collection is massive, and seeing as how all of his gems are from getting ability users to kill themselves with their abilities,,, yikes shibu that’s really intense and hardcore 😰

and with that, i think that’s about the end of this post (thank god). i decided against including the hunting dogs in this, as there is not enough known about them to determine what their extremes are and why. also its 5 am and im kinda lazy :( i wanna say that this post is also kind of like a spectrum. almost every character has a trait/goal/mindset/habit that’s intense and kind of characterizes a lot of the character; but, some characters are less extreme than others, particularly characters that don’t convey a lot of expressions. and like i tried to explain earlier, some traits don’t stand out that much and seem more like they’re a part of the character. not every “extreme” written here is the level of extreme that akutagawa’s obsession is, for instance.

a last note to end on is that i wanna talk about intelligence in bsd. it seems like a pretty all-or-nothing situation for the most part; either a character is of average intelligence or they’re a fucking genius. now, most “average” characters are still witty, innovative, and capable of basic detective skills, but there is still a large difference in say, kenji and fyodor. both are pretty dangerous and extreme in their own aspects, but in terms of intelligence, fyodor has kenji far outmatched. i’m gonna rank the different geniuses of bsd and their intelligence type. this is entirely personal opinion btw

ranpo- on top of having amazing intuition and deduction, ranpo is excellent at analyzing small details in a short amount of time. his sheer speed at completely solving impossible cases, even with little evidence, is what makes him so remarkable. he also is pretty good at being a tactician, though his strength mainly lies in solving mysteries.

a tie between dazai and fyodor. maybe fyodor a bit smarter tho. both are incredible tacticians, and their strengths lie in analyzing what their enemies are plotting. they are good at reading people and figuring out how to best use them, and lying/faking their way to get what they want. dazai is also a pretty good detective.

i am sad to place alcott at third bc tbh she might be a two or tied with ranpo. alcott is fucking brilliant as a tactician and her ability allows her to create complex and detailed plans, correctly able to plot out every possibility her enemies may take. she hasn’t been shown to have any particular skills in reading people or crime solving, which is why she is placed third.

the debatables: don’t actually know the extent of their genius, but they’re apparently pretty smart and capable. mori, shibusawa, and ango?? i feel like im bsing my way now im sorry LMAO

honorable mention: katai

alright that is all im out. thank u for reading this hell i didn’t mean for this to be 8,000 words but its fine. probably. originally was gonna do shorter explanations for everyone and then reblog with more in depth but fuck it, its all here.

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carylspookie · 4 years

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This was not wrote by me but I had to share it 💔

Credits to addieanatomy on instagram.

its so difficult for me to understand those who never feel the slightest bit of sympathy for norma and those who blame norma for being a bad mother, for nurturing her child into a serial killer. since the beginning on the series, norma had been a whole person. she has a backstory filled with emotional abuse and neglect at the hands of her awful parents. and emotional and sexual assault at the hands of her brother. and then she gets married to an abusive husband with a son born of incest because of her brother raping her. and another son who blacks out and becomes violent to the point of murder. norman blacked out and murdered her abusive husband/his father and had no idea. and he continues to kill several ppl that come into his life. but that’s just a whole other discussion for a later date. it makes my blood boil when i see ppl want to hate norma and blame her for all norman does. they want to. hate norma for what norman is. in some ways. yes. i can see why we all should give her some blame. because of numerous events in her life, norma’s incredibly broken which doesnt make motherhood too promising for her. i mean. i would argue that the worst thing norma has done has been having a lack of understanding the causes and effects of her actions. and just having a lack of insight in general.

norma feels that nothing outside of her and her care is safe for her and her beloved child. but eventually, she starts to see norman as a threat, to herself and himself. okay and quite honestly. im surprised norma didn’t end up being the damn serial killer given her fucking upbringing and the experiences she faced… anyway. alright norma definitely allowed for levels of intimacy between her and norman that are pretty uncomfortable. and some ppl would say shes reluctant to admit that there is something wrong with her beautiful child. but in my opinion. i believe she was always fully aware of normans troubles and knew that theres was smth wrong with him. but like i said before. she didnt see safety in anything outside herself. bc shes so fucking stubborn! but she truly believed that she was the answer to normans problem and she thought she could help him and protect him. i think it is very harsh for ppl to classify norma and anything she does as a mother as being neglectful. or abusive.,..,. she certainly comes close but. she doesnt cross the line into that territory. and yes. she did tell norman things he shouldnt have to know as her son. like. the situation with her brother. but. if u think about normas role as a mother overall. within the context of her own life experiences. she tries really fucking. hard. to be a the perfect and ideal mother. and i believe her efforts should be applauded considering she had no good mother or father to have as an example for her parenting. this woman did whatever she could to protect her son. and when she realized that she couldnt give him the help he needed,... she sought out help. she went to pineview. she begged dr edwards or whatever to help her son. she did her best to get her son the aid he needed in order to not be a threat to himself, norma and everyone else.

i would find it absolutely ridiculous if u didnt feel an iota a sympathy for norma in that moment in 401. she even explained herself in that moment with dr edwards. she realized that she couldnt control what she thought she could. and that she was afraid of going to the doctors bc she thought they could take him away from her. and i believe that she didnt want him taken away bc he was the last bit of love she had left in her life. she had no one. she loved norman so passionately bc they were all each other ever had. its just. in that fucking moment with dr edwards. norma was showing so much of herself. so much honesty. which is smth she tends not to do. and she was revealing in that moment that literally. like all parents. she didnt really know… exactly what she was doing. she was just hoping that what she thought was best,.,. was good. and she had a moment of great fear that what she was doing was hurting her child. and she wanted to do smth else to change and make it better for both of them. all norma has ever had is good intentions. love makes u do crazy things. and she did crazy things out of the sometimes dangerous love she had for her child. but she cant take full blame for what norman is and became. being the parent of a psychopath is not gonna be fucking easy and a literal cake walk with a manual on how to succeed. all norma fucking wanted was a normal life for her and her son. and normal life that she never got to have throughout her childhood. and teenage years. and into her married life with both of her husbands.

she could never catch a fucking break. and she never did. she never. fucking. did. shitty childhood, 2 shitty marriages, a kid who resulted from being raped by her brother, a kid that was more than just mentally unstable. and her own mental wellbeing never treated was just. the fucking cherry on top. and even after she dies she didn’t even get peace until after norman died, considering he was lugging her dead body around. when ppl talk about norma, her mental health is not often in the conversation. but quite honestly. norma's entire mental state had to have been absolutely exhausting for her. she needed serious help. and she needed it well before norman even came into the her life. i think the only time she realized that… this isnt how normal people live. is when she was with alex... alex gave her a real glimpse into a type of normalcy she had never experienced. honestly. i would like to believe she eventually would have gone into therapy had she survived. and even if norman had stayed at the live-in hospital and didnt try to kill her, she and alex were not going to magically start living a beautiful, good life. she was going to need some serious therapy herself. and i just know she wouldnt bring herself to do that all by herself. i think if anyone could help her decide to help herself... that person would without and doubt be alex. norma truly was beaten down by life at every corner. anyone in her shoes with that kind of history and mental wellbeing would be in an unbelievable amount of pain on the inside. when thinking about how this all plays into her relationship with norman... i just think she loved norman to the best of her ability. but it was from a perspective warped by extreme mental illness, fatigue and injury of her own. to add to this exhausting amount of mental turmoil, came her exhausting love for norman. god i love this woman so much. she is everything to me.

This hit me so damn hard. People ask why I love this show so much and the reason is above. Vera Farmiga portrays Norma so brilliantly and I couldn't think of anyone else who could do it better.

Romanticizing the relationship she and Norman had is unhealthy yes, but she loved her son so much she would do anything to keep him safe. Norma Bates is a fucking warrior- fictional character or not.

#not my words #veraannfarmiga #verafarmiga #batesmotel #normabates #normanbates #i love this so fucking much

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gayregis · 4 years

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angouleme can have little a avuncular guidance. as a treat ... heres some semblance of a compilation of regis being a guardian to angouleme, things i think about . both funnie and sad moments included i think

angouleme sneaks out at night to get into trouble / does other questionable things around the palace nocturnally, regis always catches her and it’s always on accident since they just have very similar time schedules. angouleme stares at him intensely in “oh fuck i just got caught” like O_O for a good 30 seconds EVERY time this happens but regis is just like :| and shrugs saying “i didn’t see anything, i’m a human, i can’t see at night or whatever” and walks off. also the next morning geralt always questions him as to what angouleme was doing, if he saw her when he was coming home, and regis always denies knowledge or says smth along the lines of “i’m not a narc, geralt :/”

angouleme yelling/losing her shit/saying wildly inappropriate things ... regis produces a ye olde granola bar from his bag and gives it to her and she quiets down immediately and is like :) content eating the granola bar. you can also substitute the granola bar with a bag of baby carrots.

similarly angouleme saying crazy shit and geralt telling her to be quiet and asking regis to recount this instead and regis says something incredibly similar/the exact same

that one time that milva was teaching angouleme to shoot and angouleme clear missed the target and got regis instead and actually for the first time was incredibly upset and regretful and guilty that she had inflicted pain and potentially death upon someone and was very worried and apologetic and ashamed ... but also when regis inevitably just plucks out the arrow and hands it back to her and says “oh i think this is yours” angouleme is like wait so he litcherally cant be killed... this is epic

basically angouleme who’s been abandoned having an immortal protector and mentor. peace

as i said in the tags of this post here: regis comes of as so peaceful as an individual that at first angouleme resents him a little, because she associates peace with arrogance... like, oh youre content with your life and dont hate yourself? so you think youre better than me? fucker. and she’s so used to asshole men being creeps in her life that this company still seems really bizarre in the regard that none of these men are dangerous. but then she learns about what ... who ... regis was in the past and she realizes that they’re similar, and then does the math and realizes that maybe one day she’ll also find this inner peace and can stop hating herself so much for the things she’s done and the things that have happened to her. angouleme not feeling as though she's so alone and such a fuckup that only she could ever get into such a mess like this... i feel like she has an unhealthy amount of survivor’s guilt, as in she blames herself for not dying while everyone else in her band did, and she also feels like what the world has given her she deserved because she was a fundamentally bad person from birth bc of her status, and that she will be stuck in this violent hellscape of a life forever and thats just how it is and she has to continue violence... but i think when she meets regis (and also milva) she realizes that violence does not need to be a cycle and change is possible.

also in the tags of that post: i think... regis developing more understanding/empathy and putting ethical philosophy into actual practice where it actually has stakes (haha haha haha stakes haha haha haha haha haha). i think in the hansa he learns what humanity actually means

also bc vampires just... do not parent, it’s not in their culture to, regis learning what guardianship actually means and growing into this position where he protects this child and begins to understand humanity on this deeper level of the feeling of protecting a child, because that’s very human, valuing and protecting the progenity for a new generation is incredibly human

also geralt arguing with regis that “humans don’t regrow their heads” so he can’t just be supporting her doing all sorts of dumb shit just bc he did it and he turned out alright... they kind of have to argue on how to parent i’m saying bc again vampire parenting is not much parenting at all. just let them go wild what’s the worst that could happen... they’ll learn sort of thing. so regis has to confront the idea of human fragility and mortality

i think regis also learns from angouleme in that it’s very easy to hate and loathe your past self and curse your past self, asking “what could i have possibly been thinking, what an idiotic thing to do...” when your past self was not actually devoid of any redeemable qualities and was actually just misguided and without hope... regis condemns his past self quite harshly but because he would never admonish angouleme in such a way i think he realizes that the self-loathing is excessive and unproductive and potentially harmful

i said this in a post already, but geralt is overflowing with fatherly vibes and milva is also stern so i think there is a lot of value in regis to angouleme , in that she can tell him practically anything and he won’t get on her case for it . she finds this kind of amnesty in him whereas with the other members of the hansa they’d freak and start asking her all these questions. regis is just like “hm ok” and maybe discusses a little but doesn’t give her shit for it. this allows angouleme to confide a lot of stuff that she wouldn’t normally feel safe to tell someone else, and also probably gets her out of a lot of trouble bc someone (a very powerful someone) will know where she is and what she’s doing... so if she gets into trouble, she has a lifeline

this also means she can tell him a lot of funnie stories that she doesn’t have to stop herself with because “was gonna say smth funny and then remembered it involved murder.” also regis has like a thousand stories too obviously so he counters her wild tales with smth even crazier and then they’ll try to compete for a bit like “well ONE TIME i...” but angouleme actually always wins and neither knows how she does

surgery lessons, or basically regis was sewing someone up and angouleme invaded the scene going “can i watch can i watch”

also alchemy lessons, which turns into basically “so that’s how you make fisstech... interesting”

i think also in these mentorships regis quizzes her lightly like “and what reactions does this species of plant produce in the human body...?” and angouleme says the right answer, “oh they drop dead” and regis is like “very good!” and angouleme kind of goes insane with happiness a little at being called ‘good’ / being praised by a parental figure for maybe like one of the first times in her life. similarly, i think regis would attest to angouleme’s character at the breakfast table in discussions, and say things like “well our angouleme is very smart” and she’d be like >:3!!!

as in canon, adopting each other’s speech mannerisms... not just regis adopting angouleme’s unique phrases, but i would also like to think abt angouleme saying smth pseudo-philosophical to throw someone off of her tracks... like “so, i owe you money... but what is the concept of debt and ownership, anyways? isn’t it all just a construct by society? by humanity?” and then she bolts and evades her creditors

regis trying to teach angouleme stuff and then being like “oh wait i forgot you can’t fly, hmm... ” “oh wait i forgot you can’t hypnotize people, hmm....... that complicates things...” ... jokes on regis though bc apparently angouleme can scale buildings and talk her way out of a lot of situations, so that’s almost as good as flight and hypnosis

im trying to not be sad rn but i think regis would be a very good person to cry on. like his cloak is very soft. and he smells like herbs. so there you go. but i think also angouleme having a breakdown would be cathartic for both of them because angouleme realizes that she’s being vulnerable around an adult and she isn’t afraid of them and regis realizes that he has a responsibility to not treat physical wounds, but rather to treat emotional ones and that’s infinitely more difficult

i think angouleme would have breakdowns to regis about: her family/her mother, geralt taking her into the hansa but she feels like he probably just sees her as a replacement daughter, i think also she gets into too much trouble one night and regis has to get her out of trouble and she kind of just breaks down because her life is crazy and has always been crazy and there’s no way out because this is all she has

i think angouleme also gets pretty upset at seeing children/teens with “perfect lives,” like she just gets crazy bitter about it... and there’s no shortage of nobility around the palace, so she’s constantly reminded of her background. i think regis’s not-being-a-human-isms and philosophy that stems from an immortal perspective that all humans are equal in life and death can help with this. but also he kind of has to learn that you can’t just talk about smth abt society or the past that is fucked up and solve it by having had said it... it will always remain an issue...

i also think that regis has his ravens scout around for angouleme’s lost pendant with a sea-cat on it, but when she gets it back she gets mad and says that she doesn’t want it because she doesn’t want to be reminded of her mother, regis is like “ok” but angouleme is still mad, she realizes she’s mad because she doesn;t think that regis realizes that he’s actually become more of a guardian to her than her biological mother was, and tries to provoke him but regis is unprovokable ofc so he’s like hm explain that and angouleme just spills her emotions

to bring this back to happy i think they could also prank geralt pretty hard. and or eavesdrop. plus there will be times like where angouleme is waiting by a door trying to listen in and straining and regis stands like 3 feet from the door and hears everything perfectly, just recites it all aloud and she’s like oh this is so much easier.

also once angouleme was eavesdropping on geralt and dandelion arguing and regis approached and was like “angouleme :/” and angouleme was like >:/ “get out of here i’m tryna eavesdrop” and regis was like “there’s a more professional way to do this” and disappears through the door, angouleme is like “showoff!” ... geralt smells sage and throws a moon dust bomb at him and regis coughs up silver shards for the rest of the day. also when angouleme hears the explosion she jumps in, so this was a failed attempt all around

#angouleme #regis #the witcher #sorry for longpost.........

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mirohed · 5 years

Text

kim seunghun | love me, love me not

pairing: kim seunghun + gender neutral reader

wc: 3.7k

genre: hanahaki au + angst

synopsis: daffodils represent unrequited love. is that why you keep coughing them up?

warnings: implications of suggestive content, descriptions of illness (and mention of surgery), mention of alcohol

playlist: love me, love me not.

a/n: happy birthday to me!! im glad i finally got to finish and post this (its,,, been in my wips since at least february LMAO) !! they prob wont read this but i wanted to thank my irls for dealing w me and my kpop bullshit (esp bc none of them stan ygtb 😔)

It's getting worse.

Your knuckles turn white, gripping the porcelain of the toilet. Tears and blood alike fall into the bowl, disturbing the gentle peace of the water. You pound at your chest, the action causing you to hack up yellow daffodil petals stained suspicious red. It's a monotonous process at this point. Pound. Cough. Pound. Cough. Repeat until the damned coughing stops.

It takes ten minutes before you return to normal. Or at least as normal as you can get. You got lucky this time.

You watch the petals spiral downward into the gaping hole in the toilet and get flushed away.

Being with Seunghun wasn't always accompanied by a tightness in your chest and petals tickling your throat.

june 19, 2005; 2:52 PM.

"I wanna grow up," you had grumbled, your hands squeezed around the chains of the swingset. You and Seunghun had been riding your bikes for the first time since getting the training wheels off. You had sped down a hill ("First one down’s a rotten egg!") and lost control, falling off and scraping your knee on the pavement. He rushed you to your parents' house, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist. The two of you had settled for playing on the swingset in your backyard instead.

"Me too," he said. "I think." He'd been rocking forward and backward on the swing, eyes focused on the blades of grass underfoot.

"You think?"

"I don't know." You stayed silent, trying to gain as much height as possible with your uninjured leg. "I don't wanna grow up and stop being friends." That got you to stop right in your tracks, your leg planted on the ground.

"What?" You sent an incredulous look his way. "Why would we stop being friends?"

He had let go of the swing, his hands finding his lap. "Some of the older kids stopped being friends when they grew up," he mumbled. "I don't wanna stop being friends, but neither did they..."

You got off the swing, limping over to him and wrapping Seunghun in the biggest hug your six-year-old arms could muster.

"We're gonna be best friends forever. Don't forget that."

"Best friends forever." If he wrapped his arms tighter around you then, you didn’t pick up on it.

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i had fun today :^))

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i wanna adopt a puppy!!

[09:55 PM] huniebee🐝: will you promise to help me take care of it

You brighten as the messages come in, your phone's vibrations distracting you from the way your throat clogs.

[09:56 PM] you: ofc

[09:56 PM] you: well be the best puppy parents the worlds ever seen

[09:57 PM] huniebee🐝: wait i need to send the pics from the pet shelter

[Attachment: 8 images]

You save each picture, cooing over the puppies you got to meet. This time, you only get a precious few minutes of relative clarity before things get too distracting to ignore. You return to the bathroom with a resigned sigh that devolves into a fit of coughs.

You cough and retch and cough some more. By the time you're done, there are less petals and more blood in the toilet bowl. Your chest still feels full of something you can't quite spit out.

Then you hack up something new: a bloody stem with wet flowers still attached.

There's nothing left to do but cry, your whole body wracked with pain both physical and emotional.

august 29, 2011; 3:15 PM.

"Today was fun," you said, making yourself right at home on Seunghun's bed. Your new backpack hadn't lasted more than a couple minutes in his house before getting neglected on his carpet. Your best friend hummed in acknowledgement, already sitting at his desk with his workbook out. "I'm glad we got to meet some new people," you continued, "but that Hyunsuk guy? Seems like a major pain in the ass."

"Give him a chance."

"I know, I know. I will. But still," you huffed, “it was his first day too. No need to act like a know-it-all."

"I know. But it's the first day. Maybe he'll even himself out with time."

The conversation ended there, and you spent some time staring at his ceiling fan, the blades going round and round in a big, beautiful blur. Before long, you had grown bored, looking over at him only to see his pencil flying across the paper.

"Hey. Let's go to the mall and get pretzels." Seunghun spun around to face you, a foot stopping his chair from going too far.

"Sure," he gave a placid smile. "Do your work first."

You groaned as loudly as you could, sounding much like a petulant child straight out of elementary school. (Which was more or less the truth, but you thought you were better than that.) After a few minutes of uninterrupted whining and failing to get Seunghun to break, you spoke up. "Why do I need to do my work? You're Mr. Hardworking, Mr. Teacher's Pet."

"We're in middle school now," he had said, and you remember thinking you were in for a long lecture, "and pretty soon, we're gonna have to go to high school and take entrance exams and decide which university we want to go to and..." He averted his gaze, put down his pen. "We need to start growing up."

"We're still young," you reasoned, sitting up and letting your legs dangle off the side of his bed. "If anything, this is our time to experience things and, you know, make mistakes before we become adults!"

He was silent for a few long, agonizing moments, long enough to make you think you'd won. The pretzels were within reach; all you had to do was ask for them.

"I call a compromise."

Shit. Compromises were common in your friendship. Seunghun was always a little too good at stopping you from making stupid decisions. The worst part was that you could never argue with them. "We go to the mall to get pretzels—my treat—if, and only if, you do your work. We don't go until we're both finished. Deal?"

You opened your mouth, determined to pick the proposal apart, but his reasoning was (unpleasant, yet) bulletproof. Instead, you reached for your backpack with a heavy sigh. "First of all, fuck you. Second of all," you said, tugging your own workbook out, "you're impossible."

"I know. Do your work."

"Fine."

The math problems had been difficult, definitely harder than you were used to, but doable. If anything, the greasy mall pretzels that were way too salty to be healthy made it all worth it.

Seunghun gets understandably very worried when you text him from the hospital, but he comes to see you nonetheless. In his arms is a bouquet of daffodils.

"They symbolize friendship," he says, setting it down on the table next to you. You stare at the pristine yellow petals and flatten your lips in a tight smile. How ironic, you think, that he doesn't know they also symbolize unrequited love.

"The doctors wouldn't tell me why you're here. Classified information, they said." That much is true; nor much is known about the disease outside of shitty romance movies with unrealistically happy endings. Seunghun always believed in them. You never did.

You don't think your story's gonna have a happy ending.

You didn't want him to know anyway, lest he worry. (And you don't want to think about what would happen to your friendship if he found out he was the cause of it all.) "You don't have to tell me," he begins, sitting himself down on one of those rigid hospital chairs, "I just wanna know if it's bad. Like, well...you know.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Terminal."

"Like if I'm gonna die?"

"Yeah," he rubs the nape of his neck, a bit abashed, "more or less."

"I don't know. Sure hope not," you chuckle. That brings on a coughing fit, and Seunghun looks on, brows knit together. He moves close to offer what little comfort he can, but you hold your hand up to stop him; having him near will only make things worse.

Petals threaten to spill out of your mouth, and panic bubbles in your chest when he asks if you're okay. Your doctor, bless her, chooses that moment to enter. She shooes him out "to speak to you in private." Seunghun, to his credit, obliges and flashes you a smile and a thumbs-up as he goes. You try to mirror his expression (and hope your smile isn't more of a grimace).

The door closes behind him with a soft click. "Friend of yours?" the doctor asks.

You spit the blood-stained petals into your hand, your doctor graciously looking the other way as you toss them into the trash. "You could say that."

october 4, 2013; 5:11 PM.

You tugged at your clothing, feeling more than a little uncomfortable as you waited for your best friend to show up. The DJ, a former student, was already hard at work inside the gym. You heard the bass-boosted beginning of the Cupid Shuffle and shot a frantic text to Seunghun.

[05:11 PM] you: holy shit theyre playing the cupid shuffle can you PLEASE hurry up

[05:12 PM] you: idc if this is our first homecoming you better get your ass over here

[05:12 PM] huniebee🐝: give me like two minutes!!

[05:12 PM] you: THE SONGS GONNA BE OVER IN 2 MIN

"Are you waiting for Seunghun?" Hyunsuk had asked, tie already loosened. You two had gotten close—not as close as you and Seunghun, of course—this year as a result of having classes together. You wondered why you ever hated him.

"Yeah. He won't be too late, thank God, but I'm pissed we're missing the Cupid Shuffle. What about you? I remember you bragging all week about 'flexing your dance skills in front of the ladies.' Or are you all talk, as usual?"

"You know, it's almost like you don't want me to wait with you."

You had laughed, knocking your shoulder into his. The chatter kept up for a minute or two before he made his leave. ("Well, it's time for me to flex my dance muscles in front of the seniors," he chuckled, giving you a salute as he walked off.)

"I'm here! God, I can't believe I missed the Cupid Shuffle," Seunghun said, head hung low. You began to feel a little self-conscious; you were feeling out of place in your semi-formal outfit, yet he looked right at home in his dress shirt.

Chasing those thoughts away, you grinned. "You're here now, aren't you? Come on." You took his hand and dragged him into the gym.

You don't talk to Seunghun or to Hyunsuk after that. You're not sure if you should tell Hyunsuk about the whole situation when he texts you. Seunghun must have told him something was up, of course, and he's insightful enough, sensitive enough (when he wants to be), but you worry. You're afraid he'll open his big mouth. Instead, you send a few messages to your best friend.

[04:29 AM] you: hey

[04:29 AM] you: i just wanted to say in advance that im sorry

[04:29 AM] you: im so so sorry for everything ive done and for what im about to do

There's one last message in the text box, daring you to send it. "I'm sorry I love you," you whisper instead, deleting the message before you do something you’ll regret. To seal the deal, you tap through a few menus until you reach his contact. The picture you've assigned to him is one you took; he's about to take a big bite of cotton candy bigger than his head.

With a heavy heart (though you hope it’s just the weight of the daffodils in your chest), you block his contact. It's better this way. It has to be.

Your doctor said you could get rid of the thick, thorned vines with a vicegrip around your heart and lungs, could pluck the flowers that threaten to spill out at the mere thought of your best friend.

The biggest side effect of it all, she told you, was that you'd forget all about Kim Seunghun. So you steel yourself.

The last thing you think about before they insert the thin needle of anesthesia in your veins is Seunghun's smile, and how you'll never see it in person again.

And how even if you did, you wouldn't remember it as the grin from the boy you love.

october 4, 2013; 9:16 PM.

The frenetic strobe lighting in the gym slowed to a stop, having been replaced with a spotlight making lazy rounds through the gym.

You knew that marked the beginning of a slow song, and dragged Seunghun off the floor in search of some punch. He seemed to have different plans, tugging you back on the floor and pulling you flush against him.

"Where are you going?" he had asked. "You're the one who wanted to dance the night away." His hands found your waist, yours instinctively folding behind his neck. You had wanted to say something about how that claim was void now; he was the one that made you miss the Cupid Shuffle, but the words get extinguished when you look at him.

It was just like that time you practiced in fifth grade, but you swore there was something different about tonight and the way you swayed. You thought back to your practice session in fifth grade, how you had stepped on each other's feet, how you spent the whole time laughing. (For the record, it wasn't for any lack of balance; you started it, laughing as he cried out before he stomped on your toe.)

There was no laughing during the song. Everything was vibrant and deafening and there all at once. But at the same time, it was like everything had been stripped away. Everything but you and Seunghun.

Things changed after that. You were left with a dizzying, free-fall sort of feeling that picked up with each glance at your best friend. Almost every butterfly in the world was taking current residency in your stomach, making you feel light as your body moved to the music. Before long, there was something lodged at the back of your throat, nudging its way forward.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," you said, a particularly heavy cough bringing the mysterious lump to your mouth.

Running your tongue along the smooth texture of the lump (okay, so not phlegm), you spat the offending object into the sink: a single yellow petal, coated in saliva.

You blinked.

Blinked again.

"Oh, what the fuck," you muttered, unlocking your phone. One quick Google search later—why the fuck am i coughing up flowers—you found an answer.

Flora mortem. You were loath to believe WebMD, of all things, but you found yourself tapping the link regardless. There was another term for the rare disease: Hanahaki.

Revising your search query was a mistake. The first result was the "hanahaki" tag on Tumblr, which showed nothing but models with tears in their eyes and bloodied flowers in their mouths. Yikes.

You made your way back to the party after that, but lingering in the back of your mind was the cause of the disease: a severe case of unrequited love.

There is only one definite cure for Hanahaki Disease: having the object of the afflicted's affections return their feelings.

You almost manage to purge the petal and the stupid WebMD page from your mind for the rest of the night.

Almost.

You wake up hours later. It's a little disorienting, sure, to come to with little memory of what landed you in the hospital. You peek under the oversized hospital gown to see bandages over your chest, get tempted to rip the IV drip from your arm. The doctor comes in right before you make a move on the needle. She tells you all about how the flowers in your lungs are gone for good.

"You're saved. But the final test," she says, pulling a phone from her pocket, "is this. Do you recognize the people in this picture?"

You recognize yourself next to a boy you don't know. His hand's around your waist, pulling you close. You wear matching grins. Given the way you're both dressed, you suspect the picture's from your freshman year's homecoming dance. Weird. Memory's kinda fuzzy from that night.

"Yeah. Myself. I don't know the other guy. Am I supposed to?"

"No. You're not. Congratulations," she smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You're cured."

You look through all the old messages and pictures when you have some time to yourself. You reach out for the memory, the feeling of knowing Kim Seunghun. You get nothing, and while your brain knows something's wrong, you're more concerned about being able to breathe easy.

You move to a new city, far, far away from the place you grew up in. You finish your last year of high school, get a job, start college. You make new memories with new people. You forget all about Kim Seunghun.

It gets easy to forget that you weren't born with the ugly faded red scars that run up and down your chest. It's your only remaining tie to the man you loved so much you almost let yourself wither away. You think it's a good thing you cut him off; why stick around, why force yourself to suffer, for someone who doesn't love you back? Why be with someone if it physically hurts to stay by their side?

But sometimes you wonder. What happened? What happened to him after his best friend walked out of his life for good with no explanation?

Those days are never good. You distract yourself then, often with the familiar kick of alcohol burning in the back of your throat. You've never been much of a drinker, but you figure it's never too late to start.

Sometimes, the distraction comes from being in the arms of another.

(One of your favorite distractions, a young man named Byounggon, had run his fingers along the angry lines one night, jotting them down in his map of your body.

"Do you regret it?" he asked then, eyes half-lidded with drowsiness. You cupped his cheek, ran a thumb along the planes of his face.

"I wouldn't be here if I regretted it, now would I?" He let the corners of his mouth turn up just so, pressing his lips to yours.

You don't talk to him much nowadays, your interactions reduced to likes on Instagram, views on Snapchat. He's moved to a bigger city. "More opportunities," he said. You keep up with his dream of being a musician, always. There was a time when you were his number one supporter, after all.)

"Will that be all?" the cashier asks, jotting your order on the plastic cup. When you nod, he asks for your name. He jots that down too.

But then his eyes widen and he looks at you with renewed interest. "I'm sorry?"

"Is there a problem?" you asks, peering at your name (spelled correctly) on the cup. His eyes search for an answer within yours, some sort of explanation you can't seem to give. He averts his gaze, shakes his head, places your cup in the queue of orders.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Just thought you were someone I knew. Have a nice day." You parrot the phrase, catching a glimpse of the young man's name tag.

Seunghun, it reads in cheerful yellow. There's a doodle of a puppy in the top right corner. You think it's rather cute.

Two weeks later, you meet Seunghun again. This time, you're out for a morning jog. The crisp autumn air greets you as your feet meet the pavement and let out a satisfactory crunch under the burnt orange leaves on the sidewalk.

You both get stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. While you catch your breath, you don't miss the way he flinches, as though he didn't expect you to show up. He schools his expression into something friendly within no time, and you wonder if you imagined the whole thing.

"The weather's nice, isn't it?"

"It is," you pant. "On your way to work?" He raises a hand to tug at the strap of his backpack with a small smile.

"Yeah. You should come by, give us business," he grins. "On mornings like this, I recommend the hazelnut latte." You hum in agreement, not yet recovered enough to converse. "Tell you what, you come and get one when I'm working, I'll make sure it's on the house."

"Really? Maybe I'll swing by." The light changes, and you leave Seunghun behind, waving goodbye as you do.

You come in later that day, ordering a hazelnut latte as promised. Seunghun's manning the register, same as two weeks ago, and when he takes everything down, he smiles. You miss it as you pay, but there's something extra on your cup.

As you take a sip of the (delicious; his coworker Yedam must be some sort of brewing prodigy) latte, you catch a glimpse of the extra writing.

Along the side of the cup is his phone number.

[10:58 PM] seunghun!: more than anything i want to adopt a puppy

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: or rather another one

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: i named this one after an old friend

[Attachment: 1 image]

The picture of Seunghun and his dog brings a smile to your face. You've been spending more time with him recently, whether it be going on coffee runs ("Are you sure you're not just using me for my employee discount?") or complaining about life as a broke college student ("My card got declined trying to buy a bag of chips last night...").

It's nice. Spending time with him is...nice.

It's more than a simple distraction, somebody to hold close on nights your decisions try to haunt you. It’s friendship, something to hold onto when you lose your way in the dense forest of your mind and to cherish when you manage to make it to a clearing and bask in the sunshine.

You've caught a cold recently (probably from that bastard Seo Changbin in your communications class). Seunghun's given you some homemade tea, swearing on its usefulness. It certainly tastes good, the sweet honey chased by tangy lemon. Unfortunately, the tea isn't able to stop the persistent cough you've been plagued with.

Feeling phlegm start to come up, you turn the bathroom lights on, hacking it up and spitting into the sink.

Huh. That's weird.

There's no phlegm.

The only thing in the sink is a single golden petal, coated in saliva.

#seunghun scenario #seunghun imagine #seunghun angst #kim seunghun scenario #kim seunghun imagine #kim seunghun angst #ygtb scenario #ygtb imagine #ygtb fluff #yg treasure box scenario #yg treasure box imagine #yg treasure box angst #seunghun #ygtb #ari.doc #ariweek 2019 #c9boyz

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thequeenofadream · 5 years

Text

You (Roger Taylor x Reader)

Summary: You by Dodie Clark, but with a twist ;)

Words: 3676

Notes: TW: MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL DRINKING AND ALMOST GETTING HIT. angsty at first, but gets pretty fluffy uwu haha + swearing + lyrics are italicized

A/N: this is for @queens-n-roses 2k writing challenge anddd reading all the other entries got me thinking well shit so here i am in all my shittiness ha ha ha anyways this is also my first time doing a song thing so tell me what you guys think! also also this is late bc im on my last weeks of school so sorry but expect more fics during summer!! (march-june for all ur western people) sdfdjks u know what im gonna leave a seperate post for the a/n fic bc yall i have kwento bye love you all <3

☀ tagging: @obsessedwithrogertaylor @malekdarling @i-padfootblack-things

~~~~~~~~~

I told you I was looking for some empathy

Well, you fooled me

You slammed the door of the apartment you and Roger shared. You had just broken up with you boyfriend, Zach, as he was a misogynistic prick. He had insisted that you move out of your apartment with Rog and move in with him.

You had repeatedly told him no, especially since moving was expensive for college student. You had also only been dating for a month, and the whole thing seemed too fast. In response, he called you a ‘whore’ and ‘cheating bitch’, but the thing that took the cake was when he had punched a hole in his wall, which missed you by a mere inch.

You told him that you never wanted to see his face again, and got out of there, leaving him in a shocked state.You ran straight home, never looking back, tears running down your face. You couldn’t believe you didn’t see his nasty attitude before, but you were glad you got out of it before anything escalated.

Roger was sitting on the couch reading a car magazine, when the sharp noise caused his to dart up seeing you in disarray. You marched right over to your room and closed the door, leaving Rog completely clueless to whatever had happened. He followed you quietly, wanting to comfort you, but the door was locked shut.

He put his ear against the door, trying to make out anything from your sobs, but all he could hear was your crying. He’d seen you cry before, but not to the point that didn't even talk to him. It concerned him a lot, but instead of getting the spare key, he decided to give you some space for now. He told himself he’d make it up in the morning.

You were glad you had stashed a bottle of vodka in the dark corners of your cabinet. You were a shaky mess while the bottle sat in your hand. You placed the bottle between your lips, feeling the taste of alcohol rush into your mouth. It left a burning sensation as it made its way down to your stomach.

You didn’t know what you were feeling right now, but it definitely helped you take your mind off what had just happened.

You fell asleep on the floor with your back against your bed. Your mind wandered between fear, anger and sadness during your last moments of consciousness.

The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache. The soft pillow on underneath your head, made you feel the slightest bit better. Wait. You realised you were up on your bed, tucked in your comfy duvy. The light peered through your windows making your head throb at the brightness.

You looked away to darker parts of your room, seeing some pain relievers and a glass of water sitting on your night stand which only perpetuated your confusion. Nonetheless, you took them both, making you feel just a bit better. You were about to get up when your door swung open, hitting the wall.

“Whoops I’m sorry.”

You saw Roger holding a tray of pancakes. The stack of pancakes was adorned by powdered sugar and a trickling waterfall of maple syrup. It was such a heavenly sight, you had to restrain yourself from lunging at the sight of it. You couldn’t believe that Roger had made it for you. You couldn't believe Roger was responsible for it. He sat on your side of the bed placing the pancakes down.

When he had gotten a good look at you, he saw how distraught you were. You eyes were sore and puffy; Your hair was disheveled mess, sticking out in all directions. It was a good thing he left the pain relievers for you.

“What’s the occasion?” You practically drooling over the pancakes as Roger set them down.

“You seemed sad last night, so I head to the local diner and got some takeaway pancakes.”

“I knew you couldn’t have made them! and if you did, i guess that i’d have a big mess to clean.”

You both laughed. He’d been your best friend for five years now, and you both knew each other like the back of your hand. He handed you a fork as you wasted no time taking a bite out of them. It was a divine breakfast to say the least. You were devouring every piece as if it was your first meal in a hundred years. Roger could only sit back and watch, amused by how much happiness these pancakes. Little did he know it wasn’t necessarily the pancakes that made you happy.

“So were the pain relievers from you as well?” You asked, finishing up the last bit of pancakes. You laid your back against the headboard, the paper plate and plastic fork in hand.

“Yup, it scared me how much vodka you had drunk.” There was pity in his eyes as he said it. He saw how much was left in the bottle you held while you slept and it petrified him. For a second he thought you had died, but his worries were quickly washed away when he felt a pulse.

“Well yeah, you’ll have to remind me in the coming days.”

You trailed off, remembering your sorrow and pain from last night. You set down the now empty plate and fork onto the trail and took the glass of water from the night stand. Roger frowned seeing you still weren’t over what ever had happen. He thought that he might get punched for asking the question, but it was inevitable.

“So, what happened?”

You continued drinking your water, not really wanting to answer. You wanted to put it off for as long as possible, but Rog was persistent.

“You know you’ll have to talk about it sooner or later. It’s not healthy to keep it in, especially since you almost killed yourself over it.”

You stopped drinking and took a deep sigh. He was right.

“Zach and I broke up. He-” Your breath hitched and tears threatened to flood down your cheek.

Roger reddened, at the mention of Zach’s name. He always thought he condescending asshole. He’d always try to play nice around him just so you could be happy, but there were times when he couldn’t. He’d tell you that he was a dick or a pisshat. You’d always tell him to give Zach a chance, but deep down inside you agreed with every little statement.

“What’d the bloody wanker do?”

The anger in his eyes was terrifying. They were like lightning bolts that were about to strike at any moment, any where.

“He almost punched me, but he missed. He left a hole in the wall instead.”

You spoke softly as a tear rolled down your left cheek. You would have shrugged it off convincing Roger it wasn’t a big deal, but you couldn’t lie. You were horror-struck.

Meanwhile, Roger would have gone into complete hysterics if he wasn’t sitting on your bed at the moment. He tried to compose himself, but he couldn’t. He was ready to throw tables. He was ready to smack the Zach into the bloody ocean. He tensed up everywhere and you noticed his arms’ veins were completely evident. His gaze went dark as he angrily grit through his teeth.

“I’ll kill him.”

You put a hand on his arm, trying your best to get him to calm down. You stroke his arm gently, as he directed his attention back to you.

“Rog, I’m fine, no scars, no cuts. I’m just scared he might come looking for me.”

“I promise I won’t let that happen. I’ll always be there for you.”

He gave you a badly needed hugged, as he realised you needed to be comforted first and foremost. Despite the tight hug, it felt kind and tender. You sank into the hug as it was the first time someone had touched you with such affection and care. You truly felt loved.

Just a touch and a thought and I was gone

It had been days since the incident and you were relatively fine. You hadn’t seen Zach anywhere and you were starting to get back on your feet. Roger had really helped you get back to your normal self. He’d always speak out about his desire to “beat the shit and bullocks out the bloody cunt”, but you’d assure him, you didn’t even want to hear about him anymore.

Tonight was your first night out since, and Roger was accompanying you to be your wingman of sorts. He had thoroughly convinced you to get out and mingle and you had finally gave in. He had also invited Fred, Brian and John, but they all had turned it down last minute; something about them all going to the same meeting. It was a very bullshit excuse, but you and Rog didn’t really mind. It was high time the two of you had some best friend bonding anyways.

You were looking through dresses in your wardrobe, when you had finally found the perfect one. You went with a sparkly tube that ended mid-thigh; You thought it would do nicely with the white pair of boots you had bought the other day. You looked in the mirror, checking yourself out for a moment before you heard a voice from your bedroom doorway.

“I’d check myself out too if I were you.”

You looked back to see the blonde drummer himself, leaning against the door frame. A blush spread throughout your cheeks at his flirtatious comment; his flirtatious comments were quite regular, but you couldn’t help but blush.

Ever since he comforted you, you couldn’t help but feel more amorous around him. You’ve tried to brush it off, but your little crush on your best friend was growing stronger and stronger by the minute.

“Uh yeah well we should get going, before it gets too crowded.”

You hid your face behind your purse as you walked past him. He looked at you in confusion, wondering why you’d become so embarrassed all of a sudden, because you usually had some witty remark ready, but he followed nonetheless.

The walk to bar was relatively normal; you both talked about your day at university. You couldn’t help but stare intently into his eyes during conversation. You mentally scolded yourself for looking at him so love-struck.

By the time you had gotten to the bar, the chaotic atmosphere was in full swing. The pungent aroma of alcohol filled the air as you both stepped in. You both looked at each other knowing exactly what to do. He headed to bar to get some drinks while you searched for a booth. You pushed past the crowd to find a small booth by the corner of the bar. You slipped and looked around, really taking in the scene.

You toyed with the hem of the dress you wore, not really knowing what else to do. You came here feeling pretty confident, but now you really just wished you were home alone with Rog, playing scrabble. You came to impress the masses, but you were having second thoughts. You realised that the only reason you agreed to this whole night out thing was to impress Roger.

It seemed to always be about him.

You pressed your head against the table, realising just how strong you’d fallen in love with him. It was pathetic to say the least. You had fallen in love with a rising drummer who is known to steal the hearts of many. How could one compete?

You had barely spent five minutes in the pub, but you knew it wasn’t going to be a fun night. You decided you were gonna tell him this whole thing was too much for you and you were going to head home. You stood up from your booth and went to the bar.

When you got there, you found several girls fawning over him; You felt that he was the Queen Helen at times, just like Helen, his handsome face could start bloody wars.

You hoped that maybe he would accompany you home and you could hang out, but it was obvious he going home with someone who definitely wasn’t you. You squeezed through the crowd of females, before Roger noticed you and called out your name.

“(Y/N)! Sorry, I got a bit carried away.” He gestured towards the girls who cornered him into the tight spot.

“It’s fine. I’m just gonna head home, I remembered as assignment or two due tomorrow.” You lied, not really looking at him.

He was too drunk to hear you over the loud music, but he nodded thinking you said that you were going to head home with someone. There was a ping of jealousy that shot through his veins, but he ignored it. This was your night, he wasn’t going to stop you from having any fun.

You were a bit scared to leave all alone, but you quickly pushed those those thoughts away as you walked towards the exit. As you left the pub, rain started pouring. You rolled your eyes, sarcastically thanking the world for such great luck. You ran home as fast as you could but by the time you got home, you were soaking wet and too tired to do anything. You just changed into dry clothes and fell asleep on the couch whilst watching an episode of coronation street.

Why do all the red flags

Just look like so much fun, oh

I have a habit of searching for the damage

To share my love

You were out with your friend, Maria, having a chatting over some tea at cafe near the University. You were talking about random things that came to mind, until she brought up your love life.

“So, I heard you finally broke up with that awful douchebag, Zach.” She raised an eyebrow, hoping it was very much true. You just nodded in response, not really wanting to talk about it.

“Well, have you been out since?”

“Nope, but I did go to the pub with Rog the other night. I left early, but he went home with someone else.”

Your eyes lit up when you Roger’s name, but it quickly faded when you remembered he didn’t go home with you. Someone else ended up in his arms that night. Maria noticed this very clearly and did not hesitate to bring it up.

“Do you fancy Roger?”

She asked simply, taking a sip of her tea. You blushed, not really knowing how to respond. You hadn’t told anyone about your sudden intrigue towards him, so your mind was trying to find a response, before your friend answered the question herself.

“Oh my god, you have! You’re absolutely flustered.” She pointed at your cheeks that were as red as ever. She laughed at how embarrassed you were over it.

“Can you shut up! Nobody knows.” You scolded her, swatting her hands away. You drank some of your tea, to hide the increasing temperature of your cheeks as Maria calmed down.

“As much as I love your little friendship, that’s a really bad idea.” She said seriously. You put your cup down, listening to what she had to say.

“I mean no offense, but Roger’s well Roger. Literally everyone knows him as hot drummer you have to take home at the end of the night. You’re just you. You probably just fell in love with him, because you had no one else to love.

You were a tad offended by it. You could possibly in a relationship with infamous drummer, Roger Taylor, right? You thought she was probably just jealous that you had been friends since high school, while she was just another girl in the long list of girls that wanted to talk to him. You were also very sure loved him. You didn’t think of him as just some rebound that you’d stick with until you found someone better. You thought that he was that someone better.

You tried your best to assure yourself that you weren’t a pathetic loser who had fallen in love Roger throughout the rest of your meeting with Maria.

In the end, you didn’t really succeed and you were starting to hope your infatuation was just passing.

People will tell me that I messed up

And it wasn't love

And I'm secretly hoping they are right

“Hey (Y/N), I’m sorry I let you leave alone.”

Roger suddenly blurted from across the couch. You raised your head up from the book you were reading. You wondered why he had brought it up in this particular moment. You were both across each other reading books when he had brought up the subject.

This was the first time in a while that you were together, silent. You have been refrained from seeing him too much, because you were trying to let your crush on him die in peace, but it just wouldn’t. You decided today you’d have a lazy saturday and lounge around. It just so happened that you both decided to read a book in the living room right after breakfast.

“What do you mean?” You furrowed your eyebrows, not really sure if he was talking about that night.

“I mean the first night you went out in a while. I thought you said you were going home with someone else.” He said empathetically completely putting down the book he was reading to join you on your side of the couch.

“It’s fine really, don’t worry about it.” You said going back to your book, continuing where you left off. That was when he stole the book from your grasp and tossed it aside, allowing you to focus on him.

“Ro-”

“It’s not okay. You were still recovering from asshat, Zach. What if he had found you that night?”

You just realised that possibility; you hadn’t noticed it with everything running through your mind that night, but you thought it was fine now. You were fire. Everything was fine.

“It’s fine I ran home, it was raining.” You said, looking away. Roger frowned seeing you weren’t going to budge. He scooted back the slightest bit and gave you some room to breathe.

“I just care about you a lot.” His whisper almost was almost inaudible, but you not absolutely.

“I really am fine. I’d tell you if I felt otherwise, promise.” You said looking back at him, meaning what you said. He sighed, before speaking up again.

“Then why have you been avoiding me the whole week? It’s like I barely even see you anymore and we live in the same apartment!” He said throwing his arms up. You bit your lip, wondering if this was the best time.

“Rog, I don’t think it-”

“Please.”

He looked at you pleadingly. He did not like not seeing you, he hated it. He missed the way you lit up a room with your smile. It was like his sun had been gone the whole week. He was starting to worry if he had done something wrong and that was when he remembered the night you both went out.

When he came back home in the morning, he saw you still sleeping on the couch. He realised he had misheard and you had actually gone home by yourself. He had been filled with guilt since then.

“I think I love you, okay?” You admitted quietly as you looked down, fiddling with your fingers.

“You think?” He asks. He was obviously ecstatic at the idea that you loved him, but wondered why you thought so. He wondered why you weren’t sure.

“It’s just that you’re you! I don’t know why I just fell for you all of sudden. I started noticing all these little things about you and they just made me fall deeper and deeper. I thought it would just go away, but it hasn’t. You keep me up at night, Roger Taylor.” You finished, taking a deep breathe.

“What if I told you I loved you too?”

“Well then I’d guess I’d have no choice, but to love you back. I mean this whole wanting to kiss you and everything isn’t going away.” You joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Well, I’ve loved you for quite some time, if you must know.”

“Yeah that’s funny.”

You laughed, while Roger did not really know how to respond. You thought he joking back, but he was dead serious. You realised this and stopped laughing abruptly.

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, you’re really just oblivious aren’t you?”

You blinked once and pinched yourself to ensure this wasn’t a dream. You were surprised to find out it in fact was not. Your (E/C) eyes went wide as you looked at his blue ones, which were waiting for any kind of response.

“(Y/N)?” He asked waving a hand in front of you. You snapped out of your trance and tried to speak, but it all just came out as jumbled words.

“Me? Like? You? Too? Some Time?!” You mumbled as Roger laughed at the priceless look on your face. You seemed to be absolutely surprised to this revelation. Two people who have been best friends and living with each other for over 5 years fall in love? You thought it didn’t add up.

“I could just save you some and kiss you if you’d like?” He said as your stomach did backflips at the mere thought of it. You nodded as he cupped your face and pressed his lips against yours.

You hummed happily at how sweet it was. Funnily enough, the kiss was what brought you back to reality; you started to kiss back. Your lips were both in sync with one another as if they had been aching to meet each other for such a long time. When you both pulled away, all you could think is about kissing him again.

“Yes I do love you.”

“Sure?”

“Positive.”

Oh, I really hope I don't love you

~~~~~~~~~

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adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy · 6 years

Text

National Boss Day [h.s.]

- part I -

“But Harry had really gotten hooked on her when he asked her about how she was under pressure and Y/N answered by comparing herself to the calm and collectiveness of a wolf hunting its prey. Her specific words were, ‘On all levels except physical, I am a wolf.’ and he immediately recognized where the quote was from. He’s not ashamed to say that he’s stayed up pretty late on work nights watching RIP Vine compilations.

To her comment, Harry then answered with a huge, goofy grin and a small, squeaky bark like the one in the video referenced and any nerve-derived ice between them immediately broke down.”

or Y/N is Niall’s right-hand and Big Boss Styles claims to be the Gordon Ramsey of coffee cakes.

A/N: hello ladies and germs!! this is the long anticipated boss!harry fic that has been in the works for a bit and as i was reading through it, i realized how long it was and decided to break it down into parts so that you guys could at least get most of it as the rest gets finished up (and doing this will also push me to finish it faster bc i’ll have it out already). feedback is always welcome and thank you so much for your support! i love you all so much and i hope you enjoy the first installment! p.s.- im sorry if tumblr is wack and doesn’t put the “keep reading” but i promise i put one

rating: uhhh i’d say pg-13 bc there’s no smut but there’s mentions of Mature Content™ eskeet

word count: about 2.6k

masterlist : ask

///

Working as a secretary for a member of a company’s board has it perks, Y/N could say.

She’s a key part in the business since she has to deal with organizing the corporation’s system, handling the dozens of phone calls that the business gets, keeping the big people on track with their schedules, doing interviews on behalf of the company, visiting schools and colleges and career fairs to inform the public of how their business works, helping plan, set up, and execute professional events and banquets— the list goes on. It’s not an easy job, but it’s one with a purpose and when it comes to a career, purpose is everything. It has just the right amount of responsibilities to give her work meaning, but it’s not too overwhelming to the point where she can’t handle it. It’s what she likes to refer to as a healthy challenge.

The job’s perks elevate even higher since Y/N’s employer also happens to be one of her closest friends. Thanks to Niall, days at the office aren’t a complete and total bore. He cares about her, therefore he doesn't’ treat her like shit, which some (most) bosses tend to do. Alongside that, he makes working fun thanks to his witty, happy-go-lucky sense of humor and his knack for telling her all the dirty gossip circulating around the business’s higher powers (to which they like to refer to as King Styles’ Round Table).

But with every job, just as there are ups, there are bound to be downs. That down happens to be a six-foot British curly-haired brunette, who likes to flaunt sheer dress shirts that show off his plethora of enticing tattoos along with his lean arms, who wears tight slacks that expose his beautifully thick thighs perfectly, who sports expensive custom-made Gucci loafers, and who trails the sweet yet tangy scent of Tom Ford all around the office building.

The thing about downs is that most downs can be surpassed, but it’s a little hard to best this one when he runs the fucking company.

It’s even harder because Y/N sees Harry quite often since she is the one who’s always delivering Niall’s paperwork and business files, sometimes even attending the board meetings on his part when Niall can’t make it.

It’s hard because there’s always been an underlying tension between her and Harry ever since they laid eyes on each other. Y/N could feel it when they shook hands for the first time— the way he gave the gesture slowly, as if trying to make it last. As if he wanted to keep their fingers interlocked for as long as possible. She could feel it in how when she had talked to him about her experience in the field, he was absentmindedly chewing on his bottom lip as he watched her own with intense concentration, which had made her cheeks sting, much to his amusement. But Harry had really gotten hooked on her when he asked her about how she was under pressure and Y/N answered by comparing herself to the calm and collectiveness of a wolf hunting its prey. Her specific words were, “On all levels except physical, I am a wolf.” and he immediately recognized where the quote was from. He’s not ashamed to say that he’s stayed up pretty late on work nights watching RIP Vine compilations.

To her comment, Harry then answered with a huge, goofy grin and a small, squeaky bark like the one in the video referenced and any nerve-derived ice between them immediately broke down. For the rest of the session, they strayed from the normal interview etiquette and talked about funny videos and memes on social media and he can confidentially say it is the best interview he’s ever given. Y/N was something else. The sweet, witty, funny something else that he felt the company needed to— that he needed, as well, to keep himself from losing his youth to the business world. All in a professional sense, of course.

When the interview had been over, Harry had gotten up and given Y/N’s hand another shake, the corners of his pretty rose lips quirking upwards into a smile that was borderline childish and genuine and full of awed interest in this random girl who had run into his office in Adidas slides and changed into heels in the bathroom, all without realizing that she’d almost toppled into him on his way to the elevator.

His voice had been deep, accent annunciating every syllable to utter crisp perfection as he regarded her with entertained wonder. “I really look forward to having you on board.”

Within all the quirky behavior they shared in the company, Harry’s interest in her became a bit more sensual as his tiny, endearing crush grew into him being utterly, shamefully whipped. Their exchanges became speckled with intense moments that suggested lascivious intentions, and Y/N can’t say she wasn’t fond of them. It had gone on the entire time Y/N had worked for his corporation to the point where she craved these longing instances because she had become deeply invested in Harry just as much as he was towards her, though neither of them knew it yet simply because they did not intend to act upon their feelings.

Lingering stares shared across the large conference room table. Lame jokes exchanged in the break room as he touched her hip lightly, reaching over her to grab the powder creamer from the cabinet up top, his chest pressing against her back as she let out a light gasp at his close proximity. Opening the door for her every chance he got, “accidentally” bumping into one another in the elevator, having lunch in his office together when the two stayed back do to project pile-up.

Their relationship even went outside of the office. Since they worked together, they had the same friend group and therefore were bound to see each other all the time.

The tension between the both of them amplified after last year’s Christmas party at Niall’s place, where Harry had gotten drunk off his ass and come up behind Y/N while she was grabbing another bag of ice from the cooler in Niall’s garage.

Harry had pressed up behind her, big, warm, shaky hands perching on her hips, groping the material of her new maroon velvet jeans.

Y/N had flipped around, gasping quietly as he shoved her up against the cement wall, the cold air from the cooler rising in a heavy fog, contrasting Harry’s warm body and making goosebumps wash across her skin.

He had bitten his deep red lip with raw need, eyes hazy but bright with arousal as the alcohol clouded his inhibitions, flicking across different points of her face and stopping at her lips, letting out a soft moan. “God, they look absolutely delicious.”

One of his hands came up to cup Y/N’s face, his thumb swiping over her bottom lip slowly, eyes lulling shut at the electricity that passed from the ridges of her skin to his. When he speaks, his voice is low and throaty with a whimpery undertone. “Nice and plump and so soft...Bet y’taste so sweet— bet y’taste like honey.”

“Harry...” Her voice is small but stern as she clings to his wrist in protest, as forced as it may be.

Y/N wants him just as bad as he wants her— especially now, in his tight black jeans and expensive olive-green and crimson Gucci Christmas sweater, hair fluffed into a soft quiff and he smells so fucking good it should be criminal— smells like cinnamon and musky cologne and the faint scent of chamomile shampoo. Especially when he’s oozing sex appeal and sheer need, even while looking so cute with little rain deer ears propped on his head, the tiny bells twinkling faintly with his movements.

But Y/N can’t. She can’t because he’s drunk and it would feel like she’s taking advantage of him and that’s not fair.

“We can’t, Har.”

He let’s out a tiny, soft groan at the name, his cock twitching in his pants at how good it sounds rolling off her tongue. He loves the way her mouth forms his name, so delicately and affectionate and innocent. It makes both his heart and prick throb and all he can think about is Y/N whimpering it in his ear as he rams himself against her sweaty thighs.

“Please, Y/N? Been wanting you for ages. I just...jus’ this once? Here, and now? I’ll take you right here on top of the cooler and make you feel so good you won’t regret it.” His lips drift closer to her’s, his Tom Ford cologne wafting up from his neck and causing her knees to buckle at his intoxicatingly alluring scent. “Fuck you so good you won’t ever forget it.”

With a painful gaze and a half-sane mind, Y/N slowly pries his big hands from her body, clutching his fingers with emotion to communicate how much it hurts to reject his offer. “I’m sorry, H, but we just can’t.”

His brows had knitted in discontent sadness, his pretty rose lips tilting down in a hurt-filled grimace. But eventually, with sad reluctance, he’d moved to the side and let her go.

She had scurried up the steps to rejoin the party, hands trembling as she clutched the cold bag of ice to her heated body, hoping it would help cool her off.

When Harry had come back up stairs, he covered up the incident pretty well, although he was in a dampened mood the rest of the night. At times, Y/N caught him staring at her with longing, only to embarrassingly flit his gaze away when she looked over, trying to hide the flush in his cheeks.

They both went on pretending like that encounter never happened, but in his defense, she assumes he’d been so sloshed he probably didn’t even remember it.

And now Y/N stands here in the mail room, months after, on National Boss Day of all days, sifting through all of the board members’ mail and organizing it into piles (it’s her turn this week according to the rotation her and the other secretaries had derived).

Everything’s going fine and dandy until Harry waltzes into the small room, in search for his round of mail for the day. He had been getting back from a quick lunch at the falafel place down the street when he’d decided to swing by, wanting to save whoever was in charge of mail today a trip to his office.

But when he saw her standing there, carefully eyeing the small, slanted, tricky handwriting on an envelope, he couldn’t help but crack a teeny, amused grin as a certain giddiness fluttered in his chest.

“Y’know, there’s these things called ‘glasses’ nowadays. They work absolute wonders.”

Y/N jumps slightly with a squeak of surprise, whipping around with a wild look tainting her features. When she sees him giggling softly in the corner, sipping his vanilla chai with the corners of his lips tilted up around the brim of the cup, she gives him a playful scowl.

“Oh, hush.”

He weighs towards sticking around a bit, chatting with her about some new movies that have come out in theaters, well aware that one of her favorite things in the world is going to the cinema. The conversation is cheery and comfortable as he leans back against one of the sturdy shelves, arms crossed over his broad chest with his biceps chiseling into the expensive fabric of his dress shirt, an effortlessly cocky smirk plastered on his face for no apparent reason.

That’s one thing about Harry. He has a certain aura of unwavering confidence about him that borderlines arrogance in the hottest way possible; but in reality, he’s the sweetest dolt to ever walk the earth. Y/N had mentioned it before and his explanation was that in this business, one has to appear naturally self-assured and “edging towards assholey” to guarantee others’ respect. He’d commented that after a while, the façade just melted into his DNA and that he does it often without even noticing.

But she knew he was aware of it now— that he was doing it on purpose. Y/N knew because she could feel his cheeky gaze prickling her cheeks with heat as she struggles to detach two envelopes that had glued themselves together, trying not to rip either. Y/N knew because when he reaches over and takes said envelopes from her hands and frees them with one simple tug, the conceited simper he gives her is also complimented by a jesting quirk of his thick brows.

“Shut up.” She grumbles, snatching the papers from him and chucking them in their designated piles, trying her best not to stare at the large array of fancy rings hugging his fingers. He has three on one hand and four on the other and she can’t fathom how hands could be big enough to make those expensive, chunky rings look so small.

“I didn’t even say anything!” He laughs, pouting his pretty lips with faux hurt. “That’s not very nice.”

“You’re not very nice.” Y/N mocks in a high-pitched voice, scrunching her nose into a silly face.

“I beg to differ.” He exclaims adamantly. “I’m very nice. Just ask any girl I’ve been with. I make them breakfast, do the laundry, vacuum, clean the bathrooms— the bathrooms, Y/N.”

“You poor baby.”

“And I’m pretty giving when it comes to other things, as well, but we won’t get into that.” He waves a hand dismissively in the air. “It’s not necessarily appropriate office banter.”

She lets out a light laugh, a bit forced at the sly tone of his comment.

Somehow, Harry has ended up uncomfortably close to Y/N, his nose inches from the side of her face. His cologne fans over her and she’s suddenly flashed back to that moment so many weeks ago in Niall’s garage, the familiar scent sending her nerves into a frenzy.

The same bubbling starts to boil at the pit of Y/N’s stomach— the same feeling of anxious excitement that came with having Harry so close, with his interests set on her and only her.

When he speaks, his voice is a low drawl, every word annunciated by his accent, dripping with taunting suggestiveness. “Maybe I can show you one day.”

“Yeah, just maybe.” Y/N laughs softly, pushing the sentence out with difficulty, trying to make nothing of the situation.

“Maybe...” Harry leans his head to the side slightly, trying to catch her eye, and suddenly his mood changes completely from one of sexual tension to his normal, airy, light-hearted self. “Maybe today, it being National Boss Day and all. Mind treating me to your company for some coffee cake tonight at my place?”

Y/N gives him a wary glance.

“Just as a token of gratitude for your oh-so nice and giving boss.” His tone has lost it’s predatory edge, helping relieve some of her stress. “Just one slice. Made it myself last night. It would really hurt my feelings if you turned me down without even giving it a chance.”

He pouts childishly, pretending to sniffle, whimpering softly.

The young secretary rolls her eyes. “God, I hate you, y’know that?”

“I’m your boss. You’re supposed to hate me.”

#esKEET #here she is #boss!harry #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot

1K notes · View notes

jul-bilant · 5 years

Text

Prince!Seungcheol

prince seungcheol

he was always the buzz around the whole kingdom *i mean y wouldnt he?? have you sEEN the guy????*

he’s always going around town, supervising incase any dumbass decided to sell drugs around the block or smth

(he once caught one and he didnt kno seungcheol was the prince and offered him marijuana and got arrested bc of tht and bc seungcheol got offended lmao)

and whenever he passes by, theres always gonna be some thirstyass girls staring at him like

“oMF SAMANTHA ITS PRINCE SEUNGCHEOL”

“SHUT UP JESS HE’S GONNA HEAR YOU DIMWIT”

or like

*runs up to him* “cAN I BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND??”

and tbh seungcheol just deadass rejects her but like,,, politely bc pRINCE MANNERS

and thats why he has two bodyguards with him at all times outside the palace now

anyways;;; prince seungcheol’s rlly rlly rLLY polite and well-mannered

he’s also a smart boi like

8 yr old seungcheol can solve 10th grade algebra, write a whole 10+ paged essay abt cytology and find the cure for cancer

kidding lol *nOT*

but srsly, this boi is smarter than yo algebra teachers like bi h

and he’s also sort of leader-like, so people already know he’ll be a great king one day

but he also has a kind heart and cares for everyone he loves and the whole kingdom

a 5 yr old girl once tripped over a rock infront of him and he took her to a bench, bought a bandage and aided her scraped knee ;-;

you can tell im soft for seungcheol hhhh

anyways, he’s been stressing out for a while because his coronation as king is nearing and it’s in a few months since his father died a year ago

and he needs to find a suitable partner

thats where you come in

you’re a maid in the palace

the maids have a thing where they check on seungcheol every two or three hours to see if he’s hungry, needs smth, or anything like tht

and this time, you were assigned to check on him

tbh you’ve never been assigned because it’s always the head maid that checks on him or that one maid thats always been the head maid’s fave

but not today

it was 10 pm and you went to see if seungcheol needed anything so you go to his study room

but before you knock, you hear something from inside his study room

it sounds like crying

and you know for a fact that thats seungcheol’s voice thats crying

you were at a loss of what to do, so it took you a while to do anything, but you decided to go down and tell the chefs that he was hungry just so you could bring him his favourite food to cheer him up

when you went back to the study room, you knocked

but he didn’t answer

it was quiet now, no more sobbing

so you opened the door

and saw seungcheol with his head down on the desk

you quietly wheeled the food towards his study table and put the tray on the other desk near the couch

you carefully approached seungcheol out of curiosity

his cheeks were stained with dried tears, but other than that, he still looked as handsome as ever

you grew concerned and took of the blankets from the bigass closet near the prince’s room and draped it over him

i mean, you were already there so why not lol

the next morning, seungcheol awoke to the smell food and a blanket around him

he grew confused but shrugged it off, he expected one of the maids to do these things

but he smiled knowing someone cares

meanwhile, the head maid came up to you and told you that you’ll be the maid who’ll regularly check up on seungcheol from now on since she was, quote-on-quote, “busy”, and her favourite maid had to retire for god knows what

you didn’t know why but you felt a sense of happiness and anxiety at the same time

so in the afternoon, you go to check on seungcheol as he’s in the study room, sorting out papers

when you enter the room after knocking, seungcheol kinda stares at you

not in the bad, offending way, nah m8

but like

‘holy shit this woman looks better than a grilled cheese sandwich’

which roughly translates to “prince seungcheol is making googly-eyes at maid y/n” ty v much

and he blushed a bit but hid it well when you approached him

“good afternoon, prince seungcheol.. i am maid y/n, i’ll be the new maid who’ll check on you from time to time from now on..” you inform him

he smiles

s m i l e s

“thank you for informing me, miss y/n,” he replied

“may i ask you a small favor?”

you were like

‘w8 boi whut-’

but you just replied with an “ok”

“please tell the maid who draped a blanket over me and brought me food last night 'thank you’, and tell her it’s from me.” he smiled

you contemplated on telling him whether or not it was you,

which would be odd for other people, since they would of cOURSE take the chance and say that they did

but you had a sense of not taking credibility in most cases bc you like being humble and shiet so you nod and telling him you’ll inform her

“thank you, it means a lot to me..” seungcheol smiles

a few months after, you hear his royal adviser, which no one rlly likes tbh (tht includes seungcheol), scolding him because he has yet to find a partner

so you go check on him in his bedroom after knocking, and he let you in

you two had, undoubtedly, grown close

which is weird bc he doesnt really make friends w/ workers in the palace, much less be best friends with them

but thats what happened

he basically tells you everything from his dreams, to when his father passed, to how his cat scratched the curtain of the theatre room and etc.

so naturally, you started liking him

but of course, why’d the prince like a maid like you????

yall were just best friends

(like any other ff pfft)

you sat down on his bed, a concerned look on your face as he was on the verge of tears

“whats wrong?” you asked, even if you already knew what dampened his mood

“Mr. Song is pressuring me into getting married again, but this time he told me other things..”

you watch as a tear or two falls from his eyes

its really painful to watch him cry

“its okay… you dont have to tell me if you dont want to..” you reassured seungcheol but he just shakes his head

“no.. i think you deserve to know”

and he told you about how his adviser called him a worthless prince for not being able to even court a girl, telling him that if he was this indecisive, the kingdom would fall, and other hurtful things like that

at this point, he was crying the whole waterfall somewhere in the deep woods near the kingdom

“cheol.. i’m sorry you had to endure that…”

without thinking, you gently pulled him into your arms, pulling him into a warm hug

both of you were surprised, but didn’t waver away from the hug

for a second you thought 'omf why the fu c k did i do that’

but you just shook the thought away, telling yourself that your best friend is in emotional pain and you did that for moral support

(which wasnt the only reason but you wanted to deny the others hhh)

but seungcheol on the other hand was lo si n g his shit

on the inside, of course

he’s like 'omg omg omg she’s hugging me mOM-’

but thats where it dawned on him

he likes you

the next day, you knocked on the door of his study room

but it was silent, just like that one night when he cried himself to sleep

so you opened the door,

but he wasnt there

you panicked a little, thinking about where on palace grounds he couldve gone to

so you checked his bedroom, the kitchen, the theatre room, the throne room, the royal gardens, everywhere

but aside from finding his cat scratching the theatre room curtains, they were all empty

you asked the head maid where he was and she answered you with a shocked expression before replying

“you mean to tell me you didn’t know he was in the neighboring kingdom, meeting up with his arranged fiancee?”

fiancee

arranged or not, it still hurt to know that he was with the woman who he was going to marry

and that was not you

the head maid gave you the day off, since seungcheol wasnt here for the day

you dressed casually, a white, plain, sleeveless dress that goes to your knees, instead of the regular, convervative, longsleeved maid uniform you were obliged to wear when you had work

you took a walk around the palace grounds, eventaully stopping when you reach the rooftop balcony

the moon was already making an appearance, the night ready to take over the sky

you stay there for the time being, finding the night sky, stars and a few blobs of clouds enticing to the human eye

moments later, you find yourself holding back tears

you let out a few stray tears drip down your cheeks as you sniff, not bothering to wipe them away

you were surprised when a blanket was wrapped around you, and a familiar pair of arms pulling into a hug

“its cold, you shouldn’t be out here at this ti- ….why are you crying?” you heard him voice out the last part in a soft whisper, contrasting his normal tone of speech like how he talked a few moments ago

“n-nothing… its dumb..” you tell him, dismissively

but he wasnt having it

“come on, i’ll listen to you.. tell me whats bothering you to the point where you’re crying..” seungcheol wiped a few of your tears away

“i’ll be fine, cheol.. and.. aren’t you supposed to be in the neighboring kingdom until tomorrow?..” you asked

“yes.. but there was no reason to stay if i rejected the marriage.”

what

w h a t

“you- what?!” you turned to him, dumbfounded

he chuckled

“yeah, i rejected the marriage. i have my eyes on another girl..” he confessed, not breaking the eye contact you both shared

“…quite literally..” he grinned

“she was there for me through everything, comforted me at the toughest of times, and brought me food and a blanket when i fell asleep at my study room..”

so he knew

you blushed, knowing exactly what he meant

he approached you slowly, and once he had you in his field of reach, he cupped your face and pulled you closer to him

“would you…” he paused

“…marry me?”

you smiled a gentle, assuring smile

“..of course.”

and in a fit of smiles and small laughs, seungcheol kissed you

#seventeen #imagines #scenarios #prince!au #seungcheol #s.coups #fluff #royal!au #royalty!au #choi seungcheol

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