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nerd-takes-pony-town · 3 years

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So... Dergun Town's gone, at last - Temp. Tester Rant.

To be frankly honest, I was waiting for it to end. I stopped playing after the weird ass Pet update and sudden, unnannounced Hair Change due to “legal reasons” because the game was just getting utterly confusing, a mess of minigames with clunky customization options and systems, and whatnot. Plus, my time as a tester was when I hit the breaks on the game and realized "man... they really are dicks".

I never ranted about it because I knew if I did, they'd definitely come for me and ban me from the game or from the server because "I shittalked about the game" or “I’m unveiling the tester server”, but now that it's over - it's time for a rant.

So, think it was around May 2020 that I decided to go for Tester to better prepare myself for the future updates, the chat itself was basically... like the lobby, just mainly memes and the Dev fanatics, who will defend them 24/7, chatting with the Devs.

One of the first few things that was asked for is the Timezones so that we could test the server together - the Timezones thing is literally thrown out the window after the very first test. From there on, what they would do is ping the Testers to announce an update - at the time, we had no changelog, no proper bug report channel, it was all crowded in one place, and because they disregarded the Timezones, imagine if you will the chat being both filled with players spamming the chat with all the new shit like some happy toddlers, and another half are people who are reporting to be in class, asleep, dinnering, ect.

A chaotic mess that makes it near impossible to actually report something. Eventually, they added a bug report but once again, no proper check list - if any, the changelog and the checklist only appeared around the Argoras or Minigame Update (June-July). And, as always, the checklist was never updated, so you'd be testing something that's already been checked and other listed things wouldn't be checked at all. Organization, which is something a Tester needs, was never a fucking thing in that horrid mess. They would occasionally do polls, one of which was if the Update should release now, nearly everyone said No - they released it anyway. :^)

Then, there would be some bugs where they’d blame us for it - the /hitme was a command that was restrictedly used in the test server because the Devs somehow don’t know how to add a small quantity of resources to all of us, so he instead made a command that gives, what? Over a million of each of the resources? We ALL made sure that wasn’t toggled on the “beta” server, and yet, somehow, it got released with the commad functioning, and instead of admitting their fault, they blamed the Testers for practically saying folks not to use it - one of the testers was literally STRIPPED OFF of their Gil and other resources, and mind you, they didn’t even used the command at all, all they did was accidentally say the command.

The Moderators would also be rather cruel, everyone likes memes, that's granted, but it shouldn't mean you can willingly change our nicknames like that. Imagine switching over to the chat only to find out your name, along with all the other testers, has been changed to "Todd Howard"; you rename it, and a couple of days later, they change it yet again without your permission or consent. This isn't fun, this is just annoying. I had to walk around with "Stop changin my name" on my nickname because of them.

And like how it has been told, these Devs cannot take criticism at all. The Argoras Update will haunt me down as the Update where I was literally fighting against other testers and the Devs over something that needed to be changed. In the Test Server, the Skill Points had a Clover table, meaning you used clovers for Skill Points, the thing is in Pony Town, the rewards are remain unlocked even if you go down the unlocking mark - Dergun Town does not. So players who are unaware of this would've wasted 1k Clovers and then realize that their prizes have been taken away because they're no longer above the unlocking mark. So as a Tester, it should be my duty to warn the Devs about it and come with suggestions.

I told them without mentioning Pony Town at all (because they have a stupid policy of “if it’s close to PT, we can’t do it”) about how the Clover option will result in players losing their reward if they go below 1k and 500 Clovers respectively, which is the equivalent to hundreds of players putting all those days collecting Clovers to waste. They would ABSOLUTELY rant about it in Bugs or Help Desk. I suggested them to either:

Make the rewards unlocked still even if you left the mark.

Remove the Clover option

Add a warning when about to select Clover

Those are the ones on top of my head, what did they do?

Tom just kept ignoring what I said on the first suggestion and exclusively focusing on the second one, as if it was the only option available. Meanwhile, Q was guilt tripping me into bidding to their commands, "37,500 gil per skill if you the 50 points pure,," it's horrible, sure, but do you really want to deal with a hoard of players coming to the server to scream about how the Skill Point system stole their Clover rewards? And having to deal with a patch or two to make them happy, or worse, having to ban more players because they’re angry WITH REASON that their prizes were taken away because you idiots refuse to add something that allows the players to keep their rewards while below the mark?

You know they would do that, everyone knows they would do that. And worse is with exception of one or two Testers, the other users, specifically folks like J*y and D**r, just kept defending the Devs even though I was literally helping them prevent a future problem that everyone knew it would fucking happen. What's the point of testing a game if the Developers will fucking refuse to take your advices?

They did removed the Clovers from the options, but kept the Dandelions and the Bones, which, you guested it, STILL DIDN'T HAD THE PRIZE LOCKING! And the best part - NO WARNING REGARDING THE LOST OF THE PRIZES WAS ADDED EITHER! So players who had the Dandelion Rune and the ability to get the special items from the Bone would end up in losing them without them knowing - though it’s not as bad as the Clovers, a resource that restrictedly spawns in areas with Clovers as opposed to be map-wide and the last prize needs 1k of those, and the recent-ish Spring Update changed the green to a shade that blends with them.

I singlehandedly helped them avoid a hoard of angry players, and not a singular thank you was given.

The Quest Cap is also a thing, if the mobile users are in such a disadvantage with the Clovers being gone, then why are you adding the Cap anyway? Everyone knows that if a game is relying on the player to grind, it should not cap the Quests to a fucking T - only 20 Quests per hour?! And the NPC's Gil is both dependant on Bootleg Flight Rising Dominance... and dependant on a Clan that YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY CHANGE even if you request for such?! It's like if in Flight Rising, because Fiona has Light eyes, Light Flight would gain extra bonus treasure from here as if Dominance wasn't enough. "It's to balance the Economy", how is that going to balance, it just restricting the mobile users even further, as if the shitty battle controls on mobile that makes it impossible to battle wasn't enough.

The game was also just turning into a weird, funky, Flight Rising bootleg - fitting how the game that Q also worked on was a bootleg hybrid between Dragon Cave and Flight Rising - the release of pets with these genes and barely any use but to literally do the exact shit you do in FR. In FR, you exalt Dragons to gain a upper hand at Dominance, in DT, a rather recent-ish? Update allowed you to sell the Magikins (the gened pets, the other pets are literally useless) for Clan Tokens, giving you a boost to gain Dominance. It’s exactly like FR, I’m surprised no one ever bothered to contact the FR folks about this ripoff. The pets did had a use and it was to gain more gil but a nerf was done because, once again, they released an update were we made SURE that wasn’t happening, but somehow, it happened - the Pet-Gill Machine Glitch that allowed you to gain infinite Gil.

My pets got bugged because of it - the level got reset (it’d only reward 1-2 gil) but the price of the upgrade did not (750 gil) - I asked if that was a nerf or a bug, and as expected, they said it was nerf when it was clear as days it was a bug given how people had pets that requried 700+ gil and rewarded 30+ gil.

The game’s just a mess of minigames and FR Ripoff, I could go on and on with just how bad the game is, but the Devs are even worse.

It's really bad when they're once straight up muted someone for speaking their fucking opinion.

(You may need to zoom)

(From PMs)

This user would constantly bring the flaws in their shit without insulting, they'd argue with reason, give suggestions, everything, in hopes of improving the game. and they instead just argued back, if not, criticized them for even bringing an opinion and tried to justify themselves as to why they didn't need to change - and the users would absolutely defend the Devs like literal ass kissers, to the point of being happy they got muted.

As the user rightfully said in PMs:

I wanted to make contributions that could help improve it, but it seems like the staff just want people to do as they say without question instead of looking for ways to improve. And they desperately need to understand that the game is not just about what they want, what kinds of designs they think players should make. It should be encouraging players to try new designs and be creative, but all the devs want to do is shut that down.

I just wish they didn't have absolute power over the server. If they were accountable to their community in some way, it'd be possible to convince them to make changes when it's really necessary. Not all the time, just when their stubbornness is getting in the way of something that absolutely everybody except them wants.

The fun in these games has always been in the community. If you stifle that, you stifle the game. And unfortunately, I now can't say any of this. Making demon combat even harder for those without skill points was wholly unnecessary, too. I don't know what their obsession is with making the game so heavy on grinding.

Back when I first arrived, Dergun Town was mostly just Pony Town with more customization options, plus a few special prizes you could earn by gathering items. Nowadays it seems like the devs are more interested in forcing players to grind for literally everything than they are in adding new stuff everyone can enjoy and use.

But worse than that is how they always respond to criticism. The mini-events were the biggest example of that. Players didn't like being forced to spend all day on Dergun Town just for any chance to win an award in mini-events. It was damaging people's ability to have a life outside the game, and a lot of users complained. How did they respond? They basically threatened to remove the mini-events altogether and make all the items from them unobtainable, rather than improving on anything. This is how the staff responds to all complaints and suggestions. It's either the exact thing they want or nothing, and if they make a mistake big enough that everyone complains, rather than admitting fault, they basically punish the community for being unhappy. Their entire mentality is "play by my rules or I'm taking my toys and going home".

Reminder that when the garden update broke and erased a ton of players' houses and items, they blamed the players and said they had to do all the work to get everything that was lost back themselves.

I swear, all of this "you complained now you get nothing" and "we work hard, so be thankful to us even for terrible content" we hear in the user suggestions channel is just conditioning their player base to accept being taken for granted and mistreated. They're basically trying to induce Stockholm Syndrome.

Someone who’s also on Tumblr got banned for saying that the new design of the hairs made their characters look ugly - it was a change that was NEVER ANNOUNCED, specially considering it’s a change regarding “legal issues”, the playerbase should’ve been warned about this before they updated it. But instead, they got pissy that some people have complained about the drastically changed hairs and once again, shit down on them for complaining.

Dergun Town is an excellent example of how some people are not and never were meant to run a game - the guilt tripping, the “accept this or get lost” attitude, the behavior they had and occasionally have regarding Pony Town (search “Let’s Talk About Dergun Town” and you’ll get the document), to the point of banning the actual word “to avoid drama” aka keep folks from talking about their real fucking nature.

I am honestly happy that Dergun Town got shut down while Pony Town keeps improving and growing, karma was indeed well served.

#dergun town #pony town #pony.town #ive been keeping this for so long and i needed to let it out #dergun was bad but yall havent seen the how bad it is #or how bad it can get

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girlwiththeblueblood · 4 years

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Human/Demon/Angel family road trip!

Melaina and Lily purchase a camper van, hoping for some sister bounding time on the road, then the rest of their odd family members show up. They were a little put out, but after a promise of a worldwide trip and some (TARDIS) magic placed of the van, they decided what the hell having everyone around should be entertaining. And off they go!

Lucifer:

Would be to only one Melaina trusts to drive while she’s taking a break or sleeping.

Can’t help but watch Melaina with an amused smile when her road rage comes out to play.

Is low-key aroused when she yells out the window at the dumb ass drivers to “GET OUT THE FAST LANE!”

Warns her when her still small horns are showing.

He would take the task of driving the behemoth of a camper van very seriously; and would have Melaina sitting at the passenger seat next to him for company, if she wasn’t already spending time with Lily.

Would look over at his sleeping wife any chance he got, and smile softly. He will remove his cloak and use it to cover her when no one is looking.

Thinks Lily is a nice human and is happy to get to know his sister-in-law, but no one compares to his wife.

“Don’t make me turn this van around!”

“And put on your seat-belt!”

“No, we’re not stopping again!”

“You should have gone before we left!”

“Stop fighting back there!”

“Damn it, Mammon!”

Mammon:

Would want the passenger seat all to himself.

Will ask if he can drive.

Sulks when Melaina said “No.”

Blasting his music and screaming the lyrics.

Sulks when Melaina turns off the music.

Will be sent to the back of the van if he keeps asking “are we there yet?”

Would, somehow, get the van pulled over by the police and panic about hiding his weed.

Sulks in the time out corner at the back of the van for nearly getting himself and other’s arrested.

Whines to Melaina about visiting Vegas.

Can’t believe a sweet wall-flower like Lily is related to a snarky and defiant person (now demon) like Melaina.

Wonder if they have other siblings, but keeps that thought to himself.

Will be buying stuff (that’s not too expensive) for Lily to welcome her to the family.

Wants to hear stories about the sisters’s childhood.

Doesn’t want to push them to talk about it since their pasts aren’t all sunshin’ and roses.

Levi:

Will be sitting nearest to the outlet to power his phone and other devices. Has took everything but his desktop with him, but only because there was already one on the magically effected van.

In his happy little gaming bubble for most of the journey.

Is happy to play some board games with the others at times.

Gets excited when Lily takes out a DS and wants to play some multi player games and in-game trading with her.

Will be posting about everything the happens as it plays out.

When he’s in the passenger seat, he and Melaina sing to anime intro music. No one knows what they are saying.

Likes the English covers Melaina puts on and the effort other fans have put into making the song!

Will beg Melaina to stop at some pokestops and gyms.

Any arcades will be also be stopped at.

Also, can we go to Japan!? Pleeeeeeeeease?

Satan:

Will be taking a demon load of books with him.

Quietly reading most of the time.

Will pick up travel pamphlets at each stop they visit. More reading material!

Will also buy more books along the way.

When he isn’t reading, he’s doing a mini book club with Simeon, Melaina (when she’s taking a break) and Lily.

Would sneak in his pet kitten, the one Melaina gifted him in front of Lucifer after he said no last week.

When it’s his turn in the passenger seat, he reads to Melaina with the kitten purring away on his lap.

Knows Lucifer is glaring at him, but won’t do or say anything while Satan in under Melaina’s protection, and it’s just the best thing ever.

Would also be reading to Lily, before his sister-in-law goes to sleep.

Amso:

Photographs everything! Selfies at every stop.

He’ll be doing everyone’s nails at his corner of the table.

Will insist on doing Melaina’s and Lily’s hair.

Dramatic shocked noise when he finds out that Melaina “blow-dried” her hair by lowing the window all the way, letting the wind blowing her hair all over the place as she drives.

He really adores the bathroom on the van, it’s so cute and cosy but not too small to be cramped, and there’s a bath tub!?

Will offer to have a bubble bath for two with, well everyone.

If he gets a turn in the passenger seat, you know he was get Melaina to singing along with him. Has picked a lot of ABBA and other chick-bands songs for them to sing to.

“That sign said that there’s a spa nearby! Oh Mel-Mel can we stop at the spa!?”

...they’re stopping at the spa. No one regrets stopping at that spa, everyone’s back pain is gone now!

Will be trying out perfumes that each stop has and buying a select few.

Paris👏shopping👏trip👏

He’ll be buying gifts for everyone for sure!

Beel:

Is the one who did most of the heavy lifting when loading up everyone’s stuff.

Beams with happiness at the size of the kitchen.

And the fridge!

Is the reason the van stops at most of the fast food places they find.

Worries about Lily’s constant red face and is concerned that she’s sick.

Gets a bit too close when taking her temperature.

“Lily are you ill?! You’re burning up!”

Will be upset when Lily locks herself in the bath room, not knowing that she’s overloaded and flustered.

Thinks he’s upset her and gets upset himself.

It takes half an hour for Bephie to spell it out for him.

“Dude, she’s got a crush on you”

“......wait what?”

Ends up getting flustered himself and hides in a cupboard.

It takes another hour for Bephie to get him to leave the cupboard.

When he does he starts to think about Melaina’s reaction to him and her little sister dating.

He goes back in the cupboard.

“Mel’s going to kill me!”

“..Dude, she’s not going to kill you..”

It’s another hour before the situation get’s Melaina’s attention and tries to help coax him out the cupboard.

“I’m not going to kill you, Beel. I think you’d be good for her.”

It’s twenty minutes later when Beel leaves the cupboard and gives both Bephie and Mel a big bear hug.

Beel offers Lily to share some food with him. They are both a blushing mess while sharing a bag of chips together.

Bephie:

Claims one of the buck-beds.

When in the passenger seat, he and Mel talk about nothing and everything. Or he’s asleep, wrapped up in one of his blankets.

Will be hanging out with Beel and Lily most of the time.

Likes the idea of Lily being a sister-in-law, via Lucifer/Melaina and Beel/Lily.

Falls asleep on both of them while watching films.

Would climb into Melaina’s bed and snuggle with her.

Flips off Lucifer when he gets glared at for doing so.

Will buy more pillows, blankets and stuff animals at the stops he’s awake for.

Sometimes wakes up to a parked and empty van.

Will be grumpy at everyone when they return.

“...fuck you guys...”

Will lighten up when he’s give a gift from where ever they’ve been.

“Ok, you get to live”

Checks the cinemas nearby for newly released films for them to go and watch.

Will also go to DVD stores and picks a few “So bad they’re good” film for everyone to watch.

Diavolo:

Is the ultimate Dad on holiday. Constantly has a camera around his neck.

He’s ecstatic for family time and getting to know Lily.

In the passenger seat he switches between quietly watching the world go by and asking a seemingly unending string of questions.

“Those kids are waving at us Mel!”

“They’re playing ‘good car, bad car’.”

“Really? What does game in tale?”

“Well, they wave at other people in different cars, if they get a wave back it’s a ‘good car’, if not it’s a ‘bad car’.”

“Fascinating!”

He waves with both hands. Has the biggest grin on his face when the kids react by cheering.

Will want to know other travel games and might get on his adopted daughter’s nerves just a little bit.

Takes all the photos at every stop.

Fatherly teasing when he catches Lucifer and Melaina holding hands.

Takes photos of them when they have loving moments without them knowing.

It’s the best day ever when Lily (accidentally) calls him dad.

He picks her up in a big Dad hug.

“Look Barbatos! I have another daughter!”

Barbatos:

Spends most of the time waiting on everyone out of habit.

Seems to always have some tea ready.

Can tell when Diavolo’s questions are starting to annoy Mel and diverts his Lord’s attention else where.

Is the keeper of the maps and only sits at the passenger seat to help navigate when lost.

He disappears into an unknown rooms in the van and no one knows where the rooms are, how to get there or what the rooms are for.

When asked about it, he just smiles and walks away to fetch more tea.

Makes sure that the humans take their medication/travel sickness tablets.

Keeps the van spotless, snacks on the table and cups full, despite Melaina telling him to stop and relax for a while.

Bakes some cupcakes special for Lily after Lord Diavolo “adopts” her.

Solomon:

Constantly doing narrating pranks on camera.

“And that’s when they became horrible lost.”

“Are we lost?”

“No.”

“She lied”

“Stop it.”

Keeps making “Married Couple” jokes at Lucifer and Melaina.

Would attempt to prank Lily, but the burning feeling of Melaina glaring at him stops him.

Spends a lot of time exploring the van and all the rooms.

Refuses to admit that he got lost.

Sneaks off from the group when they’ve stopped to visit somewhere.

Keeps everyone waiting to for him to come back before they can leave.

When asked wear the fuck he was, he’d only ever say he was on a hunt for knowledge.

Translation: He’s been finding more magical knowledge with questionable means.

Is banned from the passenger seat, for recording Melaina while narrating everything she does.

Simeon:

Absolutely adores Lily and decides for himself to be a guardian angel to both sisters.

Every time Lily does something that’s adorable he wraps his arms around her and snuggles her; his wings circle both of them as if protecting her.

“By my Lord, you are so adorable!”

“Melaina, help!”

“Hey, turtle dove, ease it back a bit please.”

He will be interested in Lily’s story, since gender identities work very differently for Angels and Demons, he’d be very interested in the subject.

Plus, knowing what he does about their birth parents from Melaina; Simeon is concerned about the difficulties the poor thing faced trying to figure out her identity.

Simeon makes sure that Lily does want to talk about it, he really doesn’t want to push her if she’s uncomfortable.

He ends up learning a lot about the subject from Lily, maybe there’s a new book to be written in the future.

Will be playing board games and card games, that he’s learned from the humans, with Luke and anyone else would like to join.

Can’t help but ship Beel and Lily after seeing them blushing like idiots at each other.

He actually tears up a little, he’s so happy.

Then he looks toward the front of the van at the other couple. Melaina is asleep and he’s caught Lucifer laying his cloak over her.

Simeon smiles wide, he’s so happy for both the humans and his old friends.

He feels nice and warm inside.

He’ll request to stop at a church now and then so he can pray for his friends’s happiness.

He also requests to visit Venice Italy.

Will have his turn in the fabled passenger seat. He had fun picking songs to play... until one started playing that wasn’t his cup of tea.

He slowly looked at Melaina, trying to not judge.

Mel’s lips were pressed together and trying to not laugh.

Simeon then got up and left to sit back down with Luke.

“I’m sorry!”

“.....”

“Simeon?”

“.....”

“Turle Dove?”

“..I need time to forgive you, friend.”

Luke:

Will be both excited for a road trip with the human sisters and annoyed that the demons are also tagging along.

Low-key is enjoying everyone’s company.

Is either by Simeon side or in the kitchen baking sweats.

Don’t really understand the concept of being transgender, but supports Lily all the way!

Really, really wants to play card games with Melaina, but she’s driving most of the time.

Isn’t aloud at the passenger seat. because they were pulled over by the police about letting a child in the front seat without a booster seat.

He is very, very sulky afterwards.

#obey me #obey me MC #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me luke

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bentenharuki · 3 years

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When I read HQ, I decided to research a little on volleyball but of course, my knowledge is just a tad bit better than a novice. There are players who are short, the shortest is only 5' and a half? Can you explain why there would be no Hinata or Hoshiumi in real life?

Hi!

I will try to answer everything, hopefully in a comprehensible way.

There are many questions you've asked beside this one so I will try to put it all together, if you don't mind (you remember your asks anyway...so it should work).

For the part where you quote one of my posts where I tell the Horrible Greedy Mangaka (the author whose name I despise) said like he renounced at developing Lord Kags more, it's from one of his final interviews explaining the future careers (?) of all the players he put in the National Team. He said basically regarding the player who should have been the most talented since the start "he's already great, so what else was there to add"? - which is IDIOTIC because no matter how great of a talent/player you are you NEED to best yourself every day. The more talent you have, the higher is the climb you are destined to have (instead Furudate basically let him stay the same or almost the same as he was at 15 years old: IDIOTIC, as I said.

Furudate has no real perception of the greatness in sport so that was just a way to say "I can't understand a thing about superiorly skilled players, so I cannot say anything more about the character I was meant to refer at as a great talent, and therefore let's leave him in the dust and create a protagonist with zero realism and make people (who cannot understand the sport nor appreciate it fully) identify with him. It will bring me way more money than be truthful, and it's gonna work way better than try to understand the real dynamic of a sport."

This is something that I will never EVER forgive him for. He vilified real volleyball and created fake suggestive ideas about it in people who basically have never ever seen a real match and worse, who have never ever PLAYED it for real at decent level. All of this smells so fake to me, it makes me angry STILL to this day if I rethink about it.

About the height of players, (hoshiumi, Hinata, both under 1.80 by far) sorry, but in no real team of male volley players at ANY good or great level you find people short the way midgets Furudate loves to boast are. This because in modern volley power is the most important quality. It's not even debatable. Shorties are deficient in elevation, weight, strength, power. They will simply get blocked in series, no matter how fast or jumpy they can be. Just take a look at any CEV game, and judge for yourself. In the past 15 years, the heights of team roasters have constantly grown. It's a basic rule which is followed because IT WORKS INFINITELY BETTER AND MORE than any other asset.

Just take a look at the beast roasters in National Teams or in the best volley Leagues in the world (I am Italian, I watch the best players play every year here) and midgets are nowhere to be seen. The more volley develops, the more height and power do count and amount.

Furudate tried to tell a fairy tale: but sport is not a fairy tale: sport is a real path of real, quite heroic and symbolic life.

To play is one thing, if you are short. To play at the greatest levels is another thing. Furudate has so little knowledge of real volley he dared to claim a beach volley training can best your skills. FALSE to the highest. Beach volley is a funny thing, it's an athletic circus, but there are NO connections with the depth and the complexity of indoor volleyball there. Strategy, which is a vital part of indoor volleyball, and which exists because you have MANY players and possible way to make them interact, disappear fatally in outside volley. And this makes the two games like night and day.

Schemes in beach volley are dire at best, and although it is a funny and entertaining thing to play and watch, the ball, the court/ball/net dimensions, the rules are DIFFERENT and there is NO way a real top volley player would ever switch between there and the beach, or viceversa. They are two different sports with little in common, and maybe some help in training there can be found for female players (slower and less athletic than their male counterparts and by definition less powerful and strong), but in male volleyball the skills you can hone by training in beach are virtually ZERO. Especially when you are a top player. You can relax and have fun with beach volley, but it's like having a drink in the heat when you wanna relax. It's nothing like the real thing you wanna do, it's just a break you get some fun in.

Furudate then put everybody and their sisters in the National team, at the end of his AWFUL "final arc" (as i call it, the Fairy Tale Midgets Arc). PATHETIC. It was also blatantly absurd to have as many players as he had become pro. Even in smallest leagues the percentage of players who transition from high school playing to pro are like 1,02%.

In HQ there would be like 20% or something, even around 25% if you count smallest and foreign leagues. It's all part of the fairy tale I despise.

If you want to create a para-sport manga then create a fake sport: one like Blue Lock or Prince of Stride: or you start by putting alienating elements like superpowers (like in Kuroko No Basket, which is clear is only inspired by basket, then it goes for the superpower route but OPENLY), and you stop trying to fake realism in your opera.

They are all valid choices: all, ban the one The Greedy Mangaka did: pursue the money of delusional, not educated readers honing them into believing what they are following and reading avidly is somehow REAL and near to reality of the sport the manga had to depiction and describe.

I call this lying to the incapacitated and I will forever despise ALL of the way HQ became after Inarizaki arc (the best arc of the series, the one that gave me hopes before everything turned out impossibly wrong).

I won't even mention the hate I felt when one of my top characters became even a Country Traitor just to keep having 1264322 setters around.

In NO Country more than Japan to have one of the best characters become a foreigner would have felt wrong and fake.

Japan has a strong, very strong Country Pride and to ditch it to play a sport instead than fight INSIDE your Country to become a valid choice is like calling yourself weak, scared and hypocrite.

And Furudate The As*s dared to make Oikawa (my Oikawa!!!!! The Prideful, talented Oikawa) THIS kind of loser, ditching his roots because he didn't feel he could have reached National Team in Japan??????

PATHETIC.

Fake, Offensive, Pathetic.

No real Japanese would have ever ditched his Nationality to play. Not a single one (because in Japan to become a foreign citizen you RENOUNCE to your first Nationality and this is more or like a capital sin in Japanese mentality. And Oikawa became THAT kind of traitor. Unbelievable. Such a beautiful, deep character trashed to become a belittling loser so into his own world and frustration he couldn't manage to fight for his own place in his own home country. All this is so profoundly anti- sport I can't even detail it. It's just a void of real sport spirit and again it makes me angry any time I think of it.)

Ok... I think I wrote a lot (sorry... I didn't expect this to be this long but it's above than me. If I start to think about this all, I still as bitter and angry and disappointed as ever...).

I hope some of your questions were answered and I hope in a readable way... I am sure I filled this with typos and mistakes but I always write in a rush and it's not easy when this is my third language ... sigh!

Have a nice time and hopefully I made myself clear and cleared your doubts on this all.

Hugs, K.

#my asks #haikyuu!!#questions #furudate haruichi #the lord #the annoying midget #volleyball #oikawa #kageyama #personal vent

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overheardatthecontinental · 3 years

Text

Talk Chapter 15

AO3 Link

Thank you @meetmeinthematinee for reading it over for me once again before I posted this chapter. You are very much appreciated <3 :)

Lorenzo had agreed. Miraculously, the head of the family determined they would all participate. In exchange for John’s testimony and the promise that the Syndicate would be up for grabs once Mateo and DeLuca were removed from the picture.

John goes over the overarching plan, allowing Lorenzo to interject.

He finds himself more than willing to let Lorenzo take control, so long as they both get what they want.

Santino would be the first to disappear. John was already there and had been seen by Santino’s entourage. When word of his death reached the Underworld, there would be half a dozen witnesses to say the last man who saw him alive was John Wick.

Word would reach DeLuca before John even sent him the photo evidence.

But that meant Santino couldn’t stay in New York. Too many people had access to Santino’s penthouse. And Lorenzo didn’t trust his son to not blow their cover by getting bored and posting on social media. John had to agree, although he didn’t like it.

He liked Ares suggestion even less.

Santino goes with you, she signs, I’ll stay here to tell his death. Then, I can take Gianna from the city and find you.

He’s loathe to agree but that could work .

Gianna’s ‘death’ would be next, after all. Lorenzo agreed to inform his daughter of the plan that evening when they were set to attend a banquet. There, they would be given the news of Santino’s untimely demise and immediately adjourn.

Ares would stay behind to get Gianna and drive her from the city, where her death could also be staged.

DeLuca would see the D’Antonio’s dropping and think himself nearly victorious. Friday morning, he would stage Lorenzo’s death and bring DeLuca the results.

He’s so fucking close. He longs to finish it all, but he can’t rush this. It might set DeLuca off.

He has to follow the plan.

Starting with Santino.

Faking Santino’s death turns into a fucking mess . Santino spends more than an hour going from room to room to choose the best background in which to fake his death. The kitchen, he explains, was undignified. As was the bathroom. The hallway was plebian . The game room juvenile .

After an hour, he returns to the kitchen where John waits while Ares pours red food coloring into a mixing bowl, along with corn syrup and a powdery substance. Somehow, he get’s the idea that it’s not the first time she’s pulled something like this.

“I want to be killed in the library.” Santino announces.

Ares nearly chokes as she starts to laugh, a hand on the counter to support herself. Even John is taken aback at the request.

“ You ,” John confirms, “want to be killed in the library?”

“What do you mean you?” Santino repeats, “I read.”

Ares, who had begun to recover, loses it again.

“I do!”

John looks away from Ares, fighting a smile, “What’s wrong with the living room?”

“You wish me to die on a couch ?” Santino sounds disgusted at the very thought.

Unbelievable.

“Library it is.” John sighs. They’re probably all overthinking it.

“Good. I’ll go throw some books about.”

“Why?”

“So it looks like I put up a fight.”

John spares a glance to Ares. The younger assassin is really struggling to hold it together and John can’t blame her.

“I wouldn’t give you the opportunity for a fight.”

Santino huffs, “So I am supposed to do nothing?”

“If I was actually out to kill you,” John reasons, “I would just walk up to you and shoot you in the head.”

“So boring!” And the mafiaso storms out of the room.

I’ll give him defensive marks. It’ll appease him . Ares signs, clearly having thought it through.

“Why do you work for him?” John asks aloud as he signs along.

The pay is good. And I go to galas.

“Huh. Wouldn’t have pegged you for liking that kind of thing.”

Ares gives him a sick grin as she signs, I get to meet a lot of rich, married women unhappy with their husbands.

John shakes his head, “You’re worse than a man.”

Trust me. I’m much better than a man.

Finding nothing to say to that, John turns on his heel and walks out of the kitchen.

It takes Santino another hour to determine where in the library he would best look displayed. He decides against the bookshelves and maps out a fight that will never happen. Santino recants the details of the fight with vivid imagery, seeming not to care that John isn’t listening.

Ares carefully paints a layer of blood onto Santino’s head while he grumbles about all the more dignified ways that John could have chosen to kill him.

When he’s finally ready to be posed, the mafia prince starts babbling on about the lighting in the room.

John is aware that Santino is entirely a political player, but it blows his mind that someone that self-absorbed could really be tied for number two in wielding the power of the Camorra.

It was unreal.

His headache is real by the time Santino actually manages to stay still and in place long enough for John to snap a couple of photos, all highlighting the wound and Santino’s dead eyes.

John is ready to leave then, but Santino insists on showering before they leave. Washing his face, he says, is not enough and he doesn’t trust that the shower John has in his safe house will be sufficient.

When he is done, John is still ready to go. To get back home to Helen, just as he had promised her. But Santino needs to pack. When the mafiaso finally reports being ready, he has more suitcases than will fit in John’s car.

Finally, Ares takes pity on them both and promises to bring the suitcases the following day, convincing Santino an overnight bag would be enough. They finally settle upon two overnight bags. As Santino goes through his things to pick out the necessities, Ares turns to John.

You should hit me, she signs.

“I’m sorry, what?”

You should hit me, Ares repeats. When I go to alert L.D., I should look like I was in a fight. Hit me.

It’s a fair point, John thinks. If DeLuca had done his homework on his cousin, he would know that Santino didn’t go anywhere without his head of security.

“You sure?” John asks as he signs.

She bows her head in the start of a nod and John strikes hard and fast. The younger assassin stumbles back crashing into the coffee table. It breaks under her weight and she makes a harsh face in pain.

John offers a hand to help her back up but she waves it off, wincing as she pushes herself up to her feet. Dusting herself off, she signs Be seeing you, John Wick.

He responds in kind before taking Santino out to the garage before the mafiaso could come up with another reason to slow them down. John takes great joy in locking Santino in his trunk before leaving the building, avoiding any chance of witnesses or cameras seeing him.

The plan had been to let Santino out once they crossed city lines and were certain they would not be seen. It had been Lorenzo’s idea to put him in the trunk and John was all to happy too oblige that request.

But the plan quickly changes when he spots the tail.

So much, he thinks, for getting home early.

He changes courses, pretending not to notice the black sedan four cars back, and heads upstate. It might add more to his trip but, assuming the tail was reporting back to anyone, it would keep them from knowing that he was actually headed for Vermont.

John’s gut tells him its Verdugo, but he can’t know that for sure.

Regardless, he waits until it is just them on an empty stretch of highway before he rolls down the window and sticks his middle finger out and up, letting the tail know that he sees him. He’s watching him, even as he’s being watched.

The car slows immensely at the sight and John watches in his rearview as the car turns around in the middle of the road.

He shakes his head.

Whoever was following him had probably been under the assumption that Helen was being held within the city, or at least close enough by that they could tail John to find her.

But tailing anybody for four hours without being caught was damn near impossible.

Yet another reason John had moved her out of state.

He pulls over not long after at State Park just off the road to let Santino out of the trunk.

The mobster whines and John does his best to ignore him as he drives. He makes his path convoluted, impossible to follow just in case whoever had been following him switched cars. Unlikely, he thinks, but paranoia reigns supreme.

Spending six hours in a car with Santino, John discovers, might be the closest he has ever come to experiencing Hell on Earth and by the time they reach the safehouse, John considers that it really might just be easier to murder this particular D’Antonio and be done with it.

“This is it?” Santino sounds unimpressed as John parks the car next to Marcus’. John couldn’t give a shit what Santino thought as turns the car off.

He hurries inside, anxious to set eyes upon her again. To reassure himself of her safety.

It’s silent as he walks in, so different than the night before when he’d walked in on Helen breaking Marcus down. He walks down the hall and into the living room as Santino follows, looking around in disdain at the cottage.

Marcus rounds the corner, eyes narrowing as he spots Santino. His eyes shoot to John, sending a glare. Bringing Santino had not been part of the initial plan.

John gives a shrug considering he didn’t have a choice and thinks not exactly thrilled about this either.

“What the hell—” Santino starts but is shushed by Marcus.

The assassin holds a finger up over his lips and gestures with his head towards the couch. John walks around.

Helen is asleep, her legs tucked in close to her. She has changed back into his shirt and boxers. Her dark curls have fallen over her cheek. He can’t resist but to reach down and push the locks back from her face.

“She tried to wait up for you, but she fell asleep a little before midnight.” Marcus says softly so as not to disturb her.

He can’t help but smile at that. His perfect girl.

John slips his jacket off and drapes it over the couch. “I’ll put her to bed and be back in a few.”

He bends, slipping a hand underneath her legs and another behind her back, scooping her up and into his arms. She makes a soft moan of surprise at the contact but quickly leans into him, resting her head upon his shoulder and burying her face in the crook of his neck.

He makes a conscious effort to ignore Santino’s curious gaze.

John takes her down the hall and to the room they share. He’s not sure how he feels or what he thinks anymore.

After months of thinking he would never hold her like this, followed by nights where she sleeps in his arms, he no longer feels a grasp on reality. His worst fear—that Helen might be harmed or used against him has already come true. And he has never benefited more from a singular fact.

He adjusts his grip on her as he pulls back the covers on the side of the bed he now deems as hers.

He’s spent a lifetime sleeping alone. Now he wonders if he will spend the rest of his life sleeping on the left of the bed, just to imagine the nights where she slept to his right.

Carefully, he lays her down. There is another soft moan, this time of protest, as he lets go. She turns her head onto the pillow, snuggling in.

I love you , he thinks as he drags the blankets up and around Helen, tucking her in.

He bends down and kisses her head. His fingers glide along her hair and he finds himself at peace knowing he’ll join her soon. After he stops Marcus from murdering Santino.

John sighs and forces himself to go back out into the living room where the assassin and mafiaso stand, glaring at one another.

“This wasn’t part of the plan, John.” Marcus says without looking away.

“It was a judgment call. Santino is too well-known in the city. We decided it was best if we got him out for the time being.”

“Rest assured, Marcus, I have no interest in being in this prehistoric hut with either of you.”

“It’s only for twelve hours.” John says before Marcus can respond. “Ares will be by tomorrow to pick up him. Then he’s off to spend the remainder of the week at a spa an hour north of here.”

Marcus, thankfully, has the self-control to not say anything else and nods.

“Now that is settled, you can show me to my room.” Santino announces.

Well, that was something John hadn’t considered. For any normal person, it was only going to be one night and that wouldn’t be much of an issue. He could grin and bare it on the pull-out couch with Marcus or the floor. But Santino…

Marcus snorts and walks away, into the kitchen.

“You’ll be sharing the pull-out with Marcus.” John says.

Santino loudly proclaims, “I’ll do no such—”

John doesn’t even realize he’s moving until his hand is around Santino’s neck and the knife in his pocket has been flipped open and pressed to Santino’s stomach. “Wake her,” he says darkly, “And you and I are going to have a problem.”

“More importantly, Helen ’s going to have a problem.” Marcus adds. “John will just kill you. Helen’ll make you wish you’d never been born.”

“Okay, okay, okay…” Santino holds up his hands. John releases him and the mafiaso straightens his jacket with a glare, “I don’t see the need to be so, so dramatic!”

After spending several hours staging Santino’s death, followed by six hours in a car with the mafiaso, John has nothing to say to the accusation that he was the dramatic one.

“Couch or the floor.” John says, “It’s one night. You can handle it.”

He huffs, “Is there at least a bathroom in this shack? Or must I relieve myself in the woods, like an animal?”

John is tempted to lie but points down the hall to the bathroom. Santino stalks off, taking his bag with him. When the door has closed, Marcus turns to him.

“Now I might require a marker.”

John snorts, “I just spent six hours in the car with him.”

Marcus inclines his head, the start of a smile on his face, “You might just need a therapist.”

He can’t help but smile at that, at the thought of Helen already asleep and tucked into his bed. “I might.” John agrees, before asking, “How was she today?”

“Good. She was getting restless, so we went for a run. Then I gave her a crash course in handguns.”

John’s head shoots up, “You did what?”

“She asked.” Marcus says, “And I don’t blame her, considering everything going on.”

“You taught Helen to shoot a gun?”

“A handgun. She already knew a bit about rifles. Went hunting with her grandfather as a kid, but we both agreed that rifles would likely be impractical for her.”

John flounders for a moment, torn between the diametrically opposed thoughts of what the fuck and good . It was probably a good idea for her to have some basic self-defense training. It would probably make her feel better in the long run, knowing that she could take care of herself.

But another part of him, a darker more possessive part, hated that it had to be done. He should be enough to protect her. And if anyone was going to teach her to protect herself, it should be him .

But it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. He was out doing what he could to keep her safe, but Marcus was the one actually watching over her.

Jealousy, he realizes. He was jealous.

Which was entirely unfair. Marcus was doing him the favor of a lifetime, ensuring her safety when John couldn’t but he was also spending more time with her. When John came home, they were able to talk but they mostly just slept. And while he wouldn’t trade the hours spent with her curled up in his arms for anything, he was coming to hate the daylight because it meant he would have to go.

But that wasn’t Marcus’ fault.

He tampers down on the feeling and thinks, instead, of the image it presents.

“How was she?” He asks, unable to help the quirk of his lips at the thought of Helen with a gun.

“A fucking natural.” Marcus says, matching John’s grin, “She overthinks things a bit, gets in her own head, but she’s good. Given a bit of practice, she’ll be a force.”

She’s already a force , John thinks, but he gets what Marcus means. Without a gun, Helen had been able to talk herself out of captivity. She’d systematically been able to manipulate and break her captors down until they were willing to pursue her interests.

Add a gun to the mix…

“Who knows,” Marcus adds, “Maybe I’ll have her use Santino for target practice tomorrow.”

John smirks, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about Santino.”

“Santino’s mother is sorry about Santino.”

His father, too, but John doesn’t say that.

“But it will be fine,” Marcus continues, “Whatever it takes.”

John nods, “You good if I go to bed?”

“Go for it. I’ll deal with the dipshit.”

John inclines his head in thanks and heads down the hall, undoing his vest. He folds it, draping it over an arm as he opens the door to the bedroom.

He changes into his pajamas in the dark as quietly as he can manage before he makes his way to his side of the bed. John pulls back the covers and slips in beside her. He can’t quite make out her features in the dark but stirs as the bed shifts under his weight.

“John?” She murmurs softly.

“I’m here.” He tells her, opening an arm.

Helen hums softly and curls into him. “Missed you.” She says as she nuzzles into him.

“I missed you too.”

John closes his eyes and allows the warmth of her body to lull him to sleep.

….

It would be so easy, John thinks upon waking, to kiss her.

Helen is still asleep, her head resting on his bicep, her arm stretched up and over his chest. Her palm rests over his heart.

She’s facing him, lips parted ever so slightly.

Soft and pink and perfect and all he would have to do is bend down. Brush his lips against hers.

He knows he shouldn’t kiss her while she’s sleeping. That borders on creepy and disrespectful. Then again, considering the fact that he stalked her for months , breaking into her house to watch her sleep, this really didn’t seem like that much of an invasion.

It also occurs to John that he’s never kissed anyone before.

He’s been kissed, a handful of times. Grabby partners or experimenting in his youth, he’d allowed others to kiss him to try it. To know what it felt like. He hadn’t been impressed nor had he understood the fascination with tasting another in such an intimate manner.

Yet now he can barely withhold from leaning forward. Tasting her .

She shifts in her sleep, her leg reaching out over his own.

He settles with kissing her head, holding her in his arms for just a little longer.

If all has gone well, he’ll meet Sofia in Jersey in just a matter of hours. Hopefully, she’s already landed with Isabella DeLuca. If not, he still has the D’Antonio’s on his side.

Ares should be able to follow his instructions to pick Helen up.

A part of him is concerned that now three more people will know the whereabouts of his safehouse. But Santino won’t care enough to remember, Gianna has no use for four million dollars, and Ares wouldn’t act against the wishes of her boss.

Honestly, he thinks, it will all be fine. And they’re so fucking close to all this being over.

Which leads him to a whole new set of worries that he can’t begin to touch now.

John looks back down at the woman asleep in his arms. He loves her so much that it makes his heart swell. He wonders if it's actually possible for the heart to just burst.

He’s interrupted with his thoughts when a door slams. Helen jolts in her sleep, eyes opening as she startles await.

“It’s okay,” John quickly soothes, ready to fucking murder Santino. He strokes a hand up and down her back, “It’s okay.”

“The fuck…” She mumbles, eyes closing as she turns her head into his arm.

“Just a door.” He says, shaking his head as he gently takes his arm back, lowering her head to the pillow. “Go back to sleep.”

“You getting’ up?”

“Yeah.”

She makes a noise of disapproval and John can’t help but smile. “Go back to sleep.”

Helen grumbles a bit as John slips from the bed.

John walks to the door, careful to be gentle as he closes it behind him. The bathroom door is closed and the water is running. He can only guess that it’s Santino. He heads down the hall and into the living room where Marcus is closing the pull-out back into the couch.

“What the hell?” John asks, gesturing with his head towards the bathroom.

“He wanted espresso. I told him there was coffee. He told me to make him a cup. I told him to go fuck himself.”

John rolls his eyes, “Just a few more hours.”

“You owe me so bad for putting me in a bed with Santino.” John tosses one of the couch cushions to Marcus, who places it back where it goes, “Did he wake her?”

John nods, “I told her to go back to sleep but I give it fifty-fifty.”

As he says it, John walks over to the kitchen. He dumps the coffee grounds from the previous day and refills it with fresh ones, adding more than yesterday to account for their added guest.

“Ah, thank you, John. It seems one of you is a gracious host.” Santino says, fully dressed in a dark purple suit that is very out of place for the cottage. He pulls out a chair and sits at the small table. “I like my coffee with Splenda and crème.”

“We got sugar and milk.”

The mafiaso’s shoulders slump as he leans back into his seat, muttering in Italian.

“You do realize you’re a grown adult, don’t you?” Marcus asks incredulously.

Despite the fact that Marcus was older and had spent longer in the Underworld than John had, Marcus had mostly been involved with the mid-level mob stuff. He was assigned tasks and he completed them. Like John, he wasn’t ambitious enough to actual get political himself.

Unlike John, he worked for a single organization. Being freelance, albeit with ties to certain organizations, John was more exposed to high ranking officials and their families. He’d seen first-hand the way that heirs were treated and honored without accomplishment.

John expects this kind of behavior from Santino.

Marcus doesn’t expect it from anybody .

Santino replies scathingly and John ignores it, focusing instead on the morning ritual or preparing coffee. He refills the water tank, setting the carafe back under the filter when he feels arms reaching around him, a warm body pressing against his back as Helen rests her head against him.

He realizes, then, that he hadn’t actually warned her about Santino.

She’d been asleep when they got home, and he had hoped she would fall back asleep after the loud slam. It would seem that was not the case.

Apparently, she either hadn’t noticed the mafiaso in her sleepy state or was uncaring.

John flips on the coffee maker before reaching an arm back to hug her. She loosens her grip as he turns to put his back to the counter. When he is settled, she rests her head against his chest.

“Who’s the suit?” she asks as she yawns, telling John it was the second option.

He has to stop himself from smiling at just how precious she is when she’s half-asleep. “Santino.”

She hums, “And he’s here why?”

Marcus gives a bark of laughter as John’s lips twitch. Santino makes a face of offense and John can’t bring himself to care.

“We faked his death yesterday. He needs a place to lay low where he won’t be seen by anybody he knows. His bodyguard is coming later today to pick him up and take him to a spa up north. He’ll only be here for a few more hours.”

“Better be sure of that,” Marcus says, “Otherwise we’re switching bed partners tonight.”

“Not gonna happen.” Helen replies before John can think of a way to appropriately say not a chance in fucking hell, “John’s a cuddler and I don’t share.”

He feels his face flush as Marcus laughs aloud again. Even Santino visibly brightens at the statement, saying, “Is he, now?”

John swallows but manages to tease back, “Says the one wrapped around me.”

She shrugs, “You’re warm.”

“Good to know you have your uses, isn’t it, John?” Marcus says, walking over to the fridge, “What do you want for breakfast, sweetheart?”

“I’m not picky.” She picks her head up from John’s chest, looking over her shoulder, “Whatever’s easy.”

“Well, I would like a protein scramble.”

“I’d like to set you on fire.” Marcus mutters as he digs through the fridge, “Eggs and sausage it is.”

He reaches over the fridge, wordlessly handing John the milk. John grabs it and kisses Helen’s head. “Go sit down, I’ll bring you your coffee.” He promises.

She makes a face but nods, dragging her hand across his stomach as she walks away. The line between them continues to blur and all he wants is to pull her back into his arms, already regretting telling her to go.

There are a hundred reasons why he doesn’t, but he tells himself it's so he can make her coffee. He pours the milk in first, as she likes it, before filling both their coffee mugs. She’s chosen the seat across from Santino and John wonders if it's to put herself farther away from the mafiaso or so she can see him, better analyze his movements.

He sets the mug in front of her, trailing his own fingers across her shoulders as he makes his way to sit on her other side. John doesn’t realize he’s even doing it until he removes his hand and sits down.

“How long have the two of you been together?” Santino asks curiously.

John tries to think of an answer, but he’s saved from having to say anything when Helen mirrors his body language, inclining her head, “Why do you want to know?”

“I’m curious.”

She is watching the mafiaso closely and John wonders what she’s thinking, what she’s looking for. After a few moments, Helen sits back, coffee in hand, “We’ve been seeing each other for seven months.”

John can see Marcus smirk at her answer.

It sounds… normal. And it’s not technically a lie. He had been seeing her weekly for seven months so if John has to confirm it, he won’t stumble. Again, he wishes he knew what was going on inside her head. He can see in her eyes that she has a theory but she’s testing it, carefully laying traps all around.

“That’s a long time to keep a secret.” Santino replies.

“We were aware of the consequences should it get out.” She sips her coffee.

“Indeed. Now your life is on the line…”

John opens his mouth to warn Santino off, but Helen gives him a gentle kick under the table, stopping him before he can utter a sound. He closes his mouth, turning his attention back to his love. Her face betrays nothing, but he can see the sparkle in her eyes.

She’s in her element.

“As is yours,” she’s using her counseling voice now. The gentle one that John knows is designed solely to lead him into a false sense of security. “Do you fear death, Santino?”

“Of course not,” the answer slips easily from him, “But regardless, it is not a present concern. Half of New York is not out looking for me .”

She looks thoughtful, “And yet, your life is on the line in the same way mine is. Hanging on the same thread in balance.”

John can’t look away.

“Not the same thread, my dear. After all, you’re being targeted for your relationship. I’m being targeted for my power.”

“Does it bother you, then, that my life is worth that of yourself and your family in the eyes of DeLuca?”

“DeLuca is a fool.” Santino snaps and, again, John is prepared to interfere when Helen, again, kicks him under the table.

John stops himself, catching the eye of Marcus. Even as he cooks, Marcus is grinning like a fool as he listens in.

Helen leans forward, setting her mug back on the table.

“Why do you say that?”

“He thinks he can defeat the Camorra, defeat me, in such a simplistic manner? No. No, I think not.”

“You’re very confident.”

“I have good reason to be. I am aware of how to take care of myself. To squash bugs like Mateo. Of course, it is not your fault that you cannot say the same. It takes a great deal of training and intelligence to understand how to survive in a world such as ours.”

Helen gives a subtle nod that both Santino and Marcus miss but the quirk of her lips tells John she’s figured out what she wanted to. She sits back in her seat, sipping at her coffee.

“John, come get your plates.” Marcus calls over and John stands, this time letting his hand skim Helen’s shoulders consciously. She leans into the touch and it thrills him more than words can ever say. “Santino, if you want a drink, come get it.”

The mafioso grumbles but follows John into the kitchen.

John sets the first plate in front of Helen, leaning down as he does to whisper in her ear, “Having fun?”

She smirks, leaning back to whisper, “Are all Italian mafiosos narcissistic or have I just been lucky?”

“You’ve just been lucky. I swear, they’re not all like Santino or DeLuca.”

“Oh, those two are entirely different kinds of narcissists. DeLuca’s a covert narcissist. I can’t decide whether Santino’s bordering on sadistic or sociopathic or a little of both.

“What makes you say that?’ And there’s a start of a smile on his face that comes from just listening to her at work.

“The lack of empathy is startling, which makes me think sociopathic but did you hear how he kept bringing it back to me? Not focusing on my experience, but on his perception of my fear. He wants me to be afraid. It amuses him, which makes me think sadism.”

John hums and quotes, “In order to know virtue, we must first acquaint ourselves with vice?”

“Marquis de Sade.” Helen annotes, “A nihilist if ever there was one.” She glances over to John, “Whichever way Santino lands, I’m dying to pick his brain apart.”

John pats her shoulder, “You should have him for a few more hours. That should keep you busy for a while.”

He stands back up, walking around to her other side before settling back in her seat.

“How long are you here?” Helen asks softly, her expression falling from one of amusement to resignation.

“I need to get going as soon as possible.” He admits.

Marcus pulls out a chair, setting down his own plate as John takes a bite, “What’s the plan for today?” The other assassin asks.

“If all goes well, Ares should have already staged Gianna’s death and she’ll drop off the pictures when she gets here.”

“And Lorenzo?”

“Tomorrow. I’ll go straight from him to DeLuca.” John glances at Helen as Santino sits back down, “The contract should be lifted then.”

“And if he tries for the double-cross, we’ll have Isabella.”

John nods, “I’m meeting Sofia at noon to go over the plan, make sure Isabella’s secured.”

“That shouldn’t take long.” Marcus says with a nod.

“No,” John agrees, “I’ll spend the rest of the day in the city.” He leaves out that it will be spent reminding people that it would be in their best interests not to pursue the contract.

John feels Helen’s eyes on him as he eats, idly listening to Marcus and Santino argue over bullshit.

One day closer to the nightmare being over.

A part of John is disgusted with himself for even thinking he might miss these nights and early mornings spent by her side. But he can't lie to himself anymore.

He's grown addicted to her presence, just as he had on his late night visits.

And he's not entirely sure what to do with that. Not sure how to admit the fact he doesn't know how he'll ever grow used to a life without her sunshine.

But like she can feel him slipping, Helen reaches out, resting her hand on top of his. He turns his own, letting her entwine her fingers with his.

She deserves so much better than him.

But everyday it's getting harder to remember that.

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seokiloquy · 4 years

Text

Headline Pt 1- Kuroo Tetsurou

AU: Parent

FEM!Reader

Word Count: 2.3K

Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3

“Long time girlfriend of Tokyo volleyball player, Tetsurou Kuroo, left their apartment early in the morning with a bag. Is it splitsville for them?”

You rolled your eyes, laughing slightly as you read the article headline. The “early morning” was for your early meeting and your bag was filled with books that you were returning to the library, books that you wanted to throw at the person who wrote that.

This must have been the fifth article that you read this week about yourself and at first, you were annoyed or angry, but after a second, you always found it kind of funny. Where did these people get their ideas for stories? Did they just put them into a random prompt generator?

The only thing that you knew for certain was that someone was outside of your apartment taking photos which is a little unsettling. You’d have to remind Kuroo later, maybe see if the two of you could get a little extra security.

This was your home and you weren’t going to let them take that away from you.

When you started dating Kuroo, you knew that he was a volleyball player for the Tokyo team, but you didn’t expect for people to be invested in the player’s lives or who they were dating. You didn’t mind though, being with Kuroo was all that you could ask for, and if you had to live with people knowing who you are, then it was worth it.

Your head turned as you heard Kuroo coming through the front door. “Did you hear? We’re heading for splitsville. I want the apartment. You can have everything else.”

Kuroo laughed and sat beside you on the couch, picking up your legs and placing them on his lap. “I thought that we broke up 5 months ago? And I want the apartment.”

“Nope,” you smiled, “Apparently my bookbag holds all of my possessions and I’m leaving you. Why would I leave if I get the apartment? They should really think about that before they post these things. Maybe they should be more cautious of you leaving the apartment.”

Kuroo patted your legs. “Please, I couldn’t fit anything in one backpack. You’ve seen all my stuff.” He gestured around the room where all of his trinkets were littered around, and then looked back at you, grabbing your hand. “You okay?”

You lead your head to the side, resting on a pillow. “Yeah. Are you? How was practise?”

“Tiring. My arms feel like they are going to fall off.”

“Too bad,” You sighed, “I like your arms.”

Kuroo laughed. “But I get the day off tomorrow so we could do anything tonight?”

“Like going out to eat? I already put food in the oven.”

Kuroo shook his head and leaned over to kiss you. “Something more along these lines.”

You laughed kissing him back. “The food’s going to burn.”

“We’ll get take out.”

You have been throwing up for the past week. Your throat felt raw every morning after breakfast and your morning ended with you on the bathroom floor and calling in sick to work.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Kuroo asked, putting on his shoes.

You slipped your feet into your own and stood up, keys in hand to lock the door behind the two of you. “You’re already driving me there. I’ll be fine, Kuroo, I’ve been to the doctor’s office before alone and you went with me last week when they drew my blood”

“But you don’t like going alone, even if I just sit in the waiting room” Kuroo frowned, opening the door. “And lucky I did because needles terrify you. You know my hand still hurts from how hard you squeezed it, like, I really thought it would be broken when you let go.”

You laughed. “I think you would know if your hand was broken. As long as needles aren’t involved then I’ll be okay.”

“Fine, but if you need me then call me. I’ll always come.”

You didn’t have to sit in the waiting room for long, but you were nervous. You’ve never been called back when you had blood tested. Usually, they would send you a message from their service system to let you know that things were fine, but somehow you just knew things weren’t fine this time.

You sat in the doctor's office for a bit though. You were too nervous to look at your phone because you already felt it buzz a couple of times and you knew that it was Kuroo asking how things were, so you looked around the room and read the posters on the walls.

There was a particularly interesting one about the policies of the office that you didn’t know and one about the effects of food poisoning, which seemed kind of random, but you read it anyways. You were throwing up a lot, so maybe you had food poisoning and it was really bad that you needed medication or something, but the poster told you that food poisoning only lasted a day or two, so that wasn’t it.

“Ms.(L/N)?”

You tore your eyes from the poster and to your doctor. “Yes? I’m dying right?”

Your doctor laughed and sat down behind his desk, placing a white box on it. “No, uhh, quite the opposite really.”

“What’s the opposite?”

“Congratulations, you’re pregnant!” Your doctor said, smiling brightly at you brightly. He tapped on the white box in front of him. “These are prenatal vitamins that should last a week or so, but if you want more of them you’ll have to go to a pharmacist.”

You laughed. “I’m not pregnant.”

The doctor’s eyebrows shot up. “Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Ms. (L/N)...you are.”

“Oh…”

“Are you okay?”

You sat up straighter in your chair and smiled, looking down at your stomach. “Yes? I think. I mean, I always wanted to have kids…”

“Do you need the front desk to call someone for you?” Your doctor suggested. You knew that he was alluding to Kuroo because he was the person you’re usually with and he probably assumed that Kuroo was the father.

“No, it’s okay,” you stood up. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

You went home and baked two dozen cookies. Kuroo called you a stress baker, but never opposed it because it meant that your apartment always smelt like sweets. Apartment. It would be a house soon wouldn’t it? You and Kuroo could afford a house and you’ve always wanted a house when you had kids.

“I smell cookies!” Kuroo announced as he walked through the door. He kicked off his shoes, placing his bag near the door and walked over to the kitchen counter where a fresh batch of cookies sat. He grabbed one and took a bit. “They’re good, but you only bake when you’re stressed. How was the doctor?”

You turned to him, but continued to mix your brownie mix. “It was good. Nothing bad. And I bake regularly too! These are happy cookies.”

“And what are you happy about?” He asked, taking another cookie.

“I’m pregnant.”

You didn’t look up as you said it because you didn’t know where Kuroo would stand. You’ve been dating for five years and the topic never really came up, but last year he said something about having a family together. It’s only now that you thought that it could’ve been a joke.

“Is it mine?”

You shot up at that. He didn’t look too thrilled, which made you want to throw up the cookies that you ate before he came. “You think I’m cheating on you?”

He shook his head. “No! It’s just.... You’re pregnant.”

“I am. That’s what the doctor told me.”

“What are you going to do with….it?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What am I going to do? Don’t you mean we? It takes two people to make a human.”

Kuroo stood up, an unreadable look on his face.

Your shoulders sank. “You don’t want kids.”

“I do,” he said quickly. “I just don’t want them now.”

You blinked. “Not now? It’s not like I can postpone it or something.”

It was silent for a bit after that. You were looking at Kuroo, but he was looking at the ground. You were really scared in the moment. It was like time had stopped on you but you were still running.

You were frozen.

Kuroo started walking to the door. “I have a practice game tomorrow. You...You can have the apartment.”

You walked out from behind the counter. “What? Are you breaking up with me? Kuroo?”

He grabbed his gym bag and shoes and said, “You can have the apartment.”

Then he left.

Kuroo hasn’t gone back to the apartment to get his stuff yet. He’s been meaning to though. It’s only been a couple of days since his fight with you and he’s been couch hopping. He’s been keeping an eye on the media too, since you told him that there were people stalking the apartment, he made it a point to check it every once in a while to see if you were caught leaving the apartment.

You weren’t.

“Kuroo! I need to talk with you,” his coach said.

They lost their game and even though no one said it, everyone on his team could tell that he was off. He would miss easy set ups, spiked out of the lines and most of his serves hit the net. During the second set of the match, his coach gave him an odd look and switched him out, but Kuroo couldn’t even bring himself to care. He barely watched the rest of the game, his eyes glued to the floor and his mind thinking about you.

“Yes?” He said, bringing the towel up to his forehead.

“What’s going on? You’ve been off lately.”

“I, uhh…” Kuroo said. He and his teammates were close enough to talk about their personal leaves in the locker rooms every now and then, but their coach never asked nor seemed to care. Kuroo was worried about his answer. He didn’t want to lie, in fact he wanted to tell someone, he didn’t mention it to his friends, who let him stay on their couches, but what if telling his coach meant that he would be benched for the rest of the season?

He already lost you and he didn’t think he could take any more losses.

“You probably don’t want to tell me,” his coach started, before Kuroo could decide whether to lie or not. “But what you’re going through affects this team, which affects me. The truth, please. I won’t judge.”

But people always do.

“My girlfriend,” Kuroo said in a low voice. Practice was still going on and the sound of volleyballs smacking the floor drowned out their voices, but this wasn’t something that Kuroo wanted other people to know. “She’s pregnant and I broke up with her? Kind of? I left after she told me.”

The coach’s face hardened. He was definitely judging, but Kuroo didn’t mind, he deserved the judgement.

“Is that something you want?” His coach let out slowly. “A kid?”

“At this moment, I don’t know?” Kuroo said, leaning against the wall of the gym. “I’ve always wanted a future with her and a future like that, one where we would get married and all the things that come after that happened, I see kids. In our future, I see kids. I think I was scared…I didn’t think that we would just skip all those steps.”

His coach sighed. “Kuroo, I’ve had four kids and each time is scarier than the first. It’s terrifying to bring someone into the world, but it’s one of the most amazing things too. What you’re feeling now, your girlfriend is probably just, maybe even more scared than that. Breaking up with her and leaving as soon as she told you? That might be a side effect of you being scared, but it doesn’t mean it was right, it doesn’t mean you leave her alone when she’s scared. You love her right?”

Kuroo nodded. “But what if I got back and she doesn’t want me anymore?”

“Then you offer what you can,” his coach said, patting him on the shoulder, “and you accept the consequences for your actions.”

Kuroo rubbed his eyes. “Can I be excused from the rest of practise?”

His coach gave him a sad smile. “In my mind, you’re already out the door.”

Kuroo was breathless as he climbed the stairs to the apartment. He was still in his volleyball clothes with his keys clutched in his hand.

“(Y/N)?!”

The apartment was the same as he left it, the cookies were still on the table and the kitchen light on.

“(Y/N)! I’m really sorry. I want this kid. I want to spend the rest of my life with you if you’ll let me. I’m so sorry. (Y/N)?”

No one answered back.

He rounded the corner and went to your bedroom. All of his stuff was still there, but your side of the room was empty.

Your clothes gone. Your books gone. Your pillow gone.

“(Y/N)?”

Kuroo slowly backed out of the room. Numbly, his footsteps brought him back to the kitchen and saw a piece of paper on the counter that he had overlooked.

You can have the apartment.

As requested! There will be a second part too… I’ve never read something like this before...so I hope it’s okay.

To the requester: I changed the ending just a tad bit...I hope you’re okay with that!!!

I hope you enjoyed!! - Kiwi

Posted: 03/07/2020

#Haikyuu x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #Haikyuu #x reader #oneshot #oneshots #haikyuu oneshots #haikyuu reader insert #reader insert #aus #haikyuu aus #fluff #haikyu #anime x reader #anime #manga x reader #manga

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oikawas-fav-alien · 4 years

Text

Dominant | Taichi Kawanishi x Reader

✧ Summary: Student body president to the most renown school in the Miyagi Prefecture, it made you wonder how Kawanishi, a regular on the infamously dominant volleyball team, was such a lazy jackass.

warnings: language, otherwise none, rated K+ :)

✧ Masterlist ✧

As the student body president, it was your sworn duty to uphold the high ethics as a student and leader. Many often described your personality as rough or overly haughty from your mean-looking resting face. However, they continued to vote for you simply because you were the most qualified and your very presence screamed authority. You wanted to pursue politics in the future and therefore treated the role professionally. In your first-year, you were already elected as a delegate to the student government. Second-year, you were the vice president. And in your third-year you were the highest position possible. The only thing that kept you held back before was the very fact that underclassmen were not allowed to run as president.

You used the position as practice and cared for your potential constituents. There were a few major players here and there, thankfully they were your friends. Growing up alongside Ushijima and Tendou had their benefits. If you had the favor of the volleyball team, you might as well have the whole school crawling in the palm of your hand. Thankfully, none of the people actually on the team could run for student government since they were so busy with the sport. To win over the rest of the student body, there was a fairly popular second-year student who came from a wealthy family that many just looked up to. You often questioned why she did not run for student govt. and once asked her why.

After spotting her at the library, you decided on approaching the girl, “You would be perfect and I don’t see why not.”

“Thanks senpai, but nah. After you’ve seen the shit that I’ve seen... You wouldn’t want to be the leader of such arrogant little sheep.”

You laughed at her metaphor and asked, “I didn’t know sheep could be conceited?”

“Of course! They’ll give you all the attitude in the world, but still follow you in the end.” She joked. Behind her you recognized the light tuft of brown hair that indicated the presence of the current starting setter of the volleyball team.

“It’s a pleasure to see you, Shirabu-kun.” You nodded to the boy who was waiting for the girl in front of you, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you from your boyfriend.” Almost instantly, they both denied the claim. The both of them were rather sheepish in their words and you wondered really if the two of them did not have something going on.

“That’s cute. Well, when you guys end up going to the spring formal together, be sure to send pictures to the Shiratorizawa Academy page on Instabook!” You advertised to the blushing couple, walking away before they assaulted you with more denials.

You were early to your class and browsed away on said application to see the newest posts. Since you were the secret wielder of the Shiratorizawa page, you saw everything. People were still liking the post of Semi and his girlfriend at the autumn formal and that had been months ago. There were various other couples scattered throughout the page, but when other students saw Semi and his significant other, they could not help but think, “Goals af.”

They were going strong and you could not help but feel a hint of jealousy. You grew up in Shiratorizawa Academy in both junior high and high school and there was not a single person in your year that you were not already previously associated with. The boys were those who were immature or simply someone you did not see pursuing. After seeing Tendou eat four-crayons in fourth-grade or Ohira singing along to the barbie-girl theme song, you could say that your view of many of the boys was incredibly skewed. You knew them for too damn long and there was no way you could date any of them. On the flip-side, the people you spent most of you life with knew your name, face, and outgoing personality more than any other candidate. You won the popular vote with a landslide majority, even during your first-year when three other people were running for the same position. This also came with an obvious disadvantage. Almost everyone knew you and that put yourself in a large spotlight. Your daily life was constantly broadcasted and you had to put on a sunny demeanor even if you were having a bad day. Teachers expected the very best from you and anything less would indicate that you were not prepared to be president, forget being prime minister.

It was unfair of your teachers to take advantage of your position, but you took it with stride and a chin held high. It was your sworn duty and you would not slack on any given responsibility. You would volunteer to help clean a classroom in addition to your duties in student government. To do this and uphold good grades in advanced classes, your social life was nearly obliterated. The only person you kept in daily contact with was him, a new project that a teacher assigned to you almost out of spite.

He was a starting middle-blocker on the volleyball team. That fact in itself made you assume that he was as diligent as Ushijima or his very roommate Shirabu, or really like most of the other members of the male volleyball team. His transcript showed his engagement in advanced classes since junior high. And yet, the teacher aggressively requested that you tutor the young man.

And you learned rather quickly that Kawanishi Taichi was an ass.

It really bothered you that a man with his potential failed to fully utilize it. You had better odds finding Kawanishi asleep in his dorm than in the library with his supposed study group. In advanced, you asked several times for the two of you to meet the group and study there. And more than once, he failed to show up and you simply studied with Shirabu and his not-girlfriend.

After that escapade, you made sure to show-up directly at his door with the reading material, snacks – so he could not complain about being hungry – and enough prayers to Jesus to help you through this trial.

You were sat-up on the edge of his bed, dictating to him which sections of the chapter and the appropriate equations he should memorize for the upcoming exam. Kawanishi was previously sitting next to you, but he opted to lay back with his hands folded behind his head. His roommate, Shirabu, was out (probably studying in the library with you know who.)

You sighed loudly and almost slammed the book shut. “You’re so cute when you’re angry, (F/N).” He commented.

“Flattery won’t help you pass abstract algebra, Kawanishi-kun.”

“I’ve told you to address me by my first name. And hopefully, it’ll get me a date with the most elusive girl on campus.” He slowly drew out.

“And I told you not to.” You sighed again, adding to the innumerable amount, “You were the only one who qualified for college prep classes in your second-year and you’re taking advantage of this by… failing advanced math.” You stated.

“Ouch.”

The pure fact that he shared the same third-year level math class was impressive. You sat in the very front and your attention never strayed from the professor’s lecture and had failed to notice the young-man before. But once you saw Taichi's work ethic up close, you knew he was nearly a lost cause. It was rare for him to study and you only wondered why. The teacher originally told you that Kawanishi had the capacity to be the best in class, only he was barred somehow.

Ugh.

You reiterated the question once more, “Prove that if a and b are nonzero integers for which a | b and b | a, then b = ± a.” You looked over and was not surprised to see that Kawanishi had the audacity to close his eyes! You dropped the book on the ground, startling the boy. “I’m leaving.”

“You have to give me time to think, babe.” You were halfway across the room when he sat-up to write some solution to the problem. Unsure if he was actually doing the question, you went back to look-over his shoulder.

Before you could read to the bottom of the page, he slowly turned his head towards you to say, "Since a | b, there is an integer m with b = ma. Since b | a, there is an integer k with a = kb. Substituting a = kb in the equation b = ma we get b = m(kb), so since b is nonzero we can cancel it to get 1 = mk. Since both m and k are integers, and |1| = |m| · |k|, we must have |m| = 1 and |k| = 1, so either b = a or b = - a.”

You looked back into the book to see that yes, Kawanishi’s answer was correct.

He was giving you his lazy stare, one that even you could not decipher. Kawanishi was waiting on you and you hesitated, completely dumbfounded, “Well… It seems you’re ready for the exam.” You gave a weak excuse and exited from his dorm. He did not fight it and seemed to lie back down as you left.

Kawanishi was an utter conundrum. This was not the first time that he amazed you with his intelligence. You brushed off these previous events as rare, but it seemed to not be the case as time went on. The teacher never indicated he was failing, you only assumed so by the many red-marked on his returned homework assignments. But homework was only a small percentage of the final grade, falling in importance by attendance. Outside of your tutoring sessions, you did not really know Kawanishi in his natural element.

You decided on watching the game between Shiratorizawa and Johzenji High. You spotted other people in the crowd, like the supportive girlfriend of Semi and not-girlfriend of Shirabu, but decided on straying from the rest and sitting elusively alone. Kawanishi was just switching into the game, standing right next to the net. After spending extended time with Tendou in and out of class, you knew the basics to volleyball and his role. It just so happened he shared it with Kawanishi.

He played an offensive and defensive role that competed with the tallest members of team. The tallest person was probably Wakatoshi, but he was middle blocker. After that, Kawanishi seemed to tower over the rest of them – Tendou included. The problem was that Tendou shun so brightly, with his unusual hair and outgoing personality. Everyone was aware of his skill and given nickname, the “Guess Monster.” You could almost call the two middle-blockers opposites. To any outsider, Kawanishi was giving a completely impassive appearance to the enemies on the court. But you knew he was thinking and that the little hamster in his brain was working tenfold. He was capable of blocking the spikes of a certain loudmouthed Johzenji player, who made it necessary to yell at random moments. Kawanishi made it appear as if he was putting little to no effort – probably to keep his cool-looking exterior – but you knew better.

Maybe you judged Kawanishi too quickly?

Shiratorizawa closed both sets in their favor and you made your way down to the court before the crowd could block your way.

“Could I get a picture of the victors to send to the Shiratorizawa page?”

Tendou was eager to nod in agreement before grabbing an underclassmen you recognized as Goshiki Tsutomu and an expressionless Ushijima Wakatoshi. Kawanishi spotted you and looked away, deadpan appearance still displayed on his face.

What the hell was that?

During your private tutoring session, Kawanishi was a man filled with unending charisma and charm. And in this instance, not a full day later, he was ignoring you entirely. Who could possibly explain the paradox that is Kawanishi?

“Why do you want to know so badly, huh?” Tendou supplied your question with not an answer, but another question. You shared an English class with the guess monster and decided that during break, you would ask more about the young middle-blocker.

“You know I tutor him… And I fear that I might have judged him too quickly.”

“He’s an ass.”

“Well, I know that.”

“He doesn’t talk to his teammates much.” He candidly stated, “Kawanishi is very similar to his roommate.”

“Shirabu?” You asked incredulously.

“Yeah, they’re both quiet little shits. They like to sit and observe others around them, only speaking if they were called out. Taichi is quieter than Kenjiro though, the latter is hella salty and has no problems sassing his older ones!”

“Huh.” This description seemed like the opposite one that you were used to. Kawanishi had no problems calling you nicknames and there was never a quiet between the two of you. It seemed like he even took amusement in constantly teasing you.

“Something wrong?”

“Not at all what I expected, that’s all.” You confessed, “He seems pretty lazy.”

“Oh he is!” Tendou interjected, “Don’t get me wrong, Taichi has let a ball hit the ground perfectly in! But he’s smarter than he gives off. We play the same position, but his blocking methods are more experiential. Taichi sticks to read blocking, but when he’s in the zone he guess-blocks like me. And if all else fails, he’ll go for the option he knows he can block.”

“That’s… clever.” You were hesitating in your words and Tendou noticed it, evident from the narrowing of his wide eyes, but he did not comment on it outwardly.

Instead, he replied with, “But it’s obviously not as impressive as my method!”

You laughed lightly and complimented, “Seems like no one can compete with the attention of the guess monster.”

At this point, the teacher entered the room and continued with class. Your thoughts often surrounded the elusive man and you wondered if Kawanishi really did act differently around you than the others, but you were running out of options to ask from. If Tendou’s description was accurate, then there was no way that Wakatoshi could give you more valuable information. Shirabu was Kawanishi’s roommate and closest companion, he must know more than the rest. But surely, he would convey to the middle-blocker your interest and you could not handle Taichi finding out.

You went to the second best.

“How’s my favorite kouhai?” You attempted to coerce the popular second-year into conversation, but she gave you the face that knew what you were up to. It was a widely known fact that she was Shirabu’s best friend, member of a second-year study group that included him, and gossip queen – she had to know something.

“If you need something just say it, (L/N)-san. Better make it quick, I have class soon and I can’t be rude to the only senpai that I like.” You caught her in the hallway, typing away on her phone.

You sighed, “What can you say about Kawanishi?”

“Taichi?” She put her phone back in her bag to look down at nothing in particular, whilst frowning. “He’s a lazy piece of shit who knows better than to act like how he is now. You’re tutoring him, so you’ve probably seen it.”

“Yeah…”

“He’s pretty quiet, but not at all shy. Taichi has a personality that’s rough around the edges and it seems like he has a permanent bitch face on. But he opens up to those he can trust.”

“Oh.”

At that reaction, your kouhai quickly stepped in front of you and stopped walking, blocking your immediate pace. “What do you mean, ‘Oh?’ Do you like him?”

“No, it’s just he’s been acting a certain way around me. I was wondering how much of him I really knew.”

“Like how?”

“Like teasing me, calling me ‘babe’ of all things.” Her eyes widened at the newfound gossip and you could almost feel the internal screaming she was projecting. You were unsure if you should walk-away at the stunned girl or shout to grab her attention.

“How cute.” She simply stated, composing herself in a single second and then was on her way.

That conversation did not help your nerves at all and your next class was shared with the aggravation of your thoughts! You approached life like a simple equation. There were variables here and there, but eventually all would be solved and revealed. Math was your shit and yet Kawanishi defied every prior algorithm of judgement you had unofficially convened in your mind.

Since you were relatively early to class, you took the empty seat next to Kawanishi – which was the very last seat in the back! He strolled in with headphones buried in his ears, showing not a single care. His dark eyes narrowed at your presence, but this time he actually acknowledged you with a casual wave.

“Are we still on for tonight?” He did not dignify you with a response, just a sly lift of his eyebrow that you knew suggested something! But you simply rolled your eyes, happy to see your usual Kawanishi and continued, “For studying. Don’t get anything in that head of yours.”

Woah, take a step back.

Your Kawanishi? Since when did you think of Kawanishi as yours? That thought slipped your mind quickly and almost naturally. That fact alone scared you. The two of you had spent numerous nights studying alone and it was clear that he thought of you as a friend, as per his insistence of using his first name. It seems his determination and utter repetition were finally getting to you. And you were surprisingly okay with that.

This was your hardest class and there were exams every week. The professor handed the last test back and you almost cried at seeing your eighty-nine out of one-hundred! Thank the lord! Amongst the few that took the torture known as abstract algebra, the topic for the last exam was agreeably the hardest and you would not be surprised if you were the curve.

Once the professor returned to his desk, he announced, “Sorry class, there is no curve on the exam grade this week.”

What the fuck?! You had never dropped below a ninety math and it was rare for anyone to be ahead of you. There were a few times that the curve was slightly above you by a point or two, but never a full letter grade.

You looked over to Kawanishi and saw the perfect score that he was failing to hide. His expression was a grim line and you reached over to take the paper off his desk. He did not fight you and allowed you to compare answers.

His work was perfect, his penmanship was sloppy, but the answers were completely legible and circled at the bottom. You even remembered him leaving the classroom earlier than you during the exam. At the time, you figured he was going to take a nap – which he did – and not be bothered by the importance of the exam. But boi, you were wrong.

You felt like an ass.

“Looks like you’ll be tutoring me from now, Taichi-san.” You teased. Kawanishi froze at your sudden playful-tone, one he had perceived before, but never seen used against him. He urged you several times before to use his first name and, of all times, you decided now in the middle of class.

Taichi had observed you through junior high and now. You were smart and made it widely known that you and you alone were the leader. You would inwardly groan at teacher’s directions, but do it anyway because that was simply how you were. He grew in the contrary direction and wanted to know why you were so damn happy leading a bunch of idiots.

The student body was easily swayed and not worth his time to keep a reputation. It was easier to keep an impassive disposition than appeal to those he simply did not care about. And yet, you were just as smart as him and you wanted the favor of those beneath you. Kawanishi wanted to know why you subjected yourself to this arduous task through the years. What could be so good about volunteering time into people who widely did not deserve it?

Kawanishi was willing to let all six-years go to waste. Spend his time merely watching you and never actually saying anything. He could easily grab your attention, but what was the point? Your heart belonged to the student body and you would never dedicate time to just him, another student in a sea of others.

Until his matchmaker of a math teacher forced you to.

Kawanishi silently thanked whatever deity was watching over him. He wanted to push your buttons, see how far he could go before the kitten would show her claws. You were put alongside the rare amount of people he could truly express himself with. And damn, you were pretty entertaining. He loved seeing the determined glint in your eyes after he paid even the slightest bit of attention to your tutoring. Or the way you rolled your eyes in amusement after he gave a rather presumptuous statement.

You were a mature intelligent young-woman, a year his senior, with an honest-heart and an ass to boot.

When you were riled enough, you fought his teasing with your own harsh words. Taichi could literally watch your usually composed demeanor collapse at his words. Your usually kind vernacular would get replaced with punitive and ruthless sayings towards him and it strangely invigorated him to see more. You would heave a sigh and force deep breathes to calm yourself and he loved seeing the dramatic rise and fall of your chest.

Taichi long-accepted his interest in you and was not at all shy at expressing this. But you were just??? So dense??

But now that you were finally teasing back… Kawanishi fought down the strange heat rising to his cheeks and attempted his most casual tone of voice, “You can drop the formal suffix, (F/N).” Damn, that was too low! I sounded like a male pornstar.

You laughed, he was could not pinpoint the exact reason since you were smiling so radiantly at him, “Alright, Taichi-kun.”

He sighed at your teasing and refused to respond to your mischievous statement.

Oh boy had the tables turned.

Neither of you could pay full attention in class since any movement from the other person would catch your immediate notice. The two of you did not have to voice it out loud, but it was obvious that you were both on edge, eager to say something but never actually saying it.

The professor decided on letting the class out early and you grabbed his hand, “Hey. Want to have dinner first before we study?”

Kawanishi mulled over your request, frown slowly tilting to a smile when the classroom emptied. “Can’t get enough time with me?”

“Yeah, whatever.” You joked, grabbing your stuff and walking alongside the male. He was keeping an unusually large distance, but at this point you could almost understand the puzzle that was Taichi.

You were a contender for a spot in the top ranked students in the Academy and it was for obvious reasons. And after observing Taichi throughout the week, his personality seemed clearly defined to you. He was not shy or held-back, but honest. Quiet, since he found no reason to speak to those beneath him. Taichi did not radiate the same intelligence as others, but you could still sense his pride and hidden tenacity.

However, you could not explain why his frank behavior was pointed towards you. You were never a member of the volleyball team and yet he treated you like one of his close friends. Kawanishi was a year your junior and you were the president, so maybe he found the need to place formal respect? But he never exhibited the same regard for other seniors or delegates to student government. You glanced back to the hazel-haired male. He was walking at a leisurely pace, his permanent little scowl displayed to the rest of the world.

You swiped into the cafeteria, grabbed some food, and sat in a booth across Taichi. Conversation was mostly comprised of you talking with his occasional comment. This was definitely new behavior, but maybe not at all. This must be his normal disposition and you were entirely okay with that.

It made you feel special, that he talked differently to you in private.

But the small privacy of the booth did not last long. “Hey, (F/N)-san!” You spotted Semi’s girlfriend, arm-in-arm with her setter. “I just had a quick question about prom.”

You were whisked away with multiple questions of what not to wear and the theme. She ended up taking a seat next to you. You were not at all troubled, it was only part of your duties as student government and you were delighted to share details about the most massive event of the year. Semi scooted into the booth next to Kawanishi. Both boys watched the conversation in silence, giving only a polite greeting to one another.

After giving many thanks, the couple took off with a wave. You and Taichi continued in your dinner and you off-handedly asked, “How do you feel about losing so many senpai’s?”

He frowned and sat-back, “They’re moving onto better things. I trust Shirabu.” You nodded at his explanation and the rest of dinner went by casually. His words were concise and you found his current curt vernacular very similar to Wakatoshi.

The moment the two of you were completely alone, in the comfort of his shared dormed room, Kawanishi did not hesitate to slam the door behind him and flash you a flirtatious smile. “What’s up with you lately, babe?” He walked over to his bed, throwing his backpack on the top. You realized it was not as heavy as yours and spotted his textbooks scattered haphazardly on the floor. You did not comment on it, not this time.

“Why?” You had a raised brow, but wide smile on your face.

“Why do you keep smiling at me, (F/N)?” He questioned, sitting on the edge and leaning forward so his elbows were on his knees.

“Why do you treat me like this, Taichi-kun?” You asked, “I’m not complaining, but I seem to be on a special list in your mind. I just want to know what I did to earn it.”

His gaze shun with understanding and amusement, traveling for you to a spot on the floor, “Maybe you’re not as smart as you think you are.”

Back to the teasing! “Well, you’re definitely smarter than I first thought. So I am sorry I misjudged you for a lazy idiot. You’re just lazy genius, it seems.”

His bit his bottom lip and kept a firm gaze back on you. It was rare to see such an intense stare coming from the boy and you fidgeted in your spot, standing in the middle of the room. “A compliment just to knock me down?” There was no hint of a smile despite his amusing tone, and he continued, “Should I punish you?”

Your smile was wiped clean off your face and you looked at him with wide eyes. There were no words you could respond with to make sense of the conversation, so you simply stated, “Do you think you could handle me?”

Oh my god, why do this sound like the beginning of a porn?! You shrieked in your mind, confidence outwardly radiating but on the inside you were literally screaming.

He gave a light chuckle, smirking away at how easy you were to read. Taichi stood up, leisurely walking in your direction and not showing signs of stopping, “It’s easy to get a kitten purring.” And he continued strolling right past you to his desk. “But first I have to tutor you. Now be a good student and sit-down.”

At this point, you were inwardly heaving at the obvious tension and the fact that his smirk looked so hot. You were always the one who brought the study session back to its true purpose when the two of you deviated. And yet here Kawanishi was, getting you all riled-up just to walk-away from his obviously effective work.

This is bullshit!

You were a whole year older than him and the most powerful student at Shiratorizawa – there was no way this tall-ass sloth was going to one-up you! Taichi, you learned overtime, loved to be in control of a situation. He observed other people from afar and would act according to what he wanted as the outcome. And you refused to be another marionette in his game.

You grabbed his shoulder, whipping him around to sit back down on the bed. Taichi leaned back, eyes wide with surprise. You propped your knees onto the edge, initiating a very intimate very dominate position, and pushed the subject, “I think it’s time you learned your place. You can endlessly tease me when I’m trying to help, but I can’t? You better answer my question here and now.”

“It’s because I have feelings for you.” His eye-contact did not waiver, so Tachi easily perceived your astonished-look despite how well you thought you were hiding it.

You opened your mouth, words not coming out, and slowly leaned closer to the man. At this point, any outsider could observe your pose as straddling his waist. But! This was simply not his way. With you still in a daze, Taichi had no problems switching the positions with him now looming over you.

He grabbed a hand in each of his, placing them above your head in his grasp. “Sorry sweetheart.” Taichi murmured above you, noses gently bumping each other. You leaned upward and closed the distance, lips molding against each other. He tasted of mangos, a fruit you would not have expected of the quiet boy.

You felt the sweep of his lips against yours and opened at the invitation. Taichi previously had a knee on the bed, but now he was fully inclined on top of you, hips to hips and to nose to nose. He moved his left-hand from your shoulder to grasp the back of your head tenderly. He was invading all your senses and it seemed his only goal was to deepen your already intimate contact. Your left hand found itself on his shoulder, gripping tightly as the other hand threaded between his auburn-hair.

You moaned at a particular sensation and Kawanishi leaned back to get a full-look at your flushed face, “Well? I like you too. Keep kissing me, you idiot.” You spurned him on, earning a smile as he pushed you further up his bed to a more comfortable position.

He continued in his dominant pose, not hesitating to place himself over you. The heavy-air was incredibly evident and you knew your eyes were hazed over with lust. You traveled a curious hand from his hip to the bare-skin of his stomach and you swear he basically growled. He was sporting that intense gaze again and you only wondered how you were not aware of his feelings before. Taking away by your thoughts, Taichi returned your favor by placing a warm-hand on your waist and roaming upwards underneath the comfort of your shirt. But he was not stopping.

His hand stopped at the crest of your breast when –

“Oh my god!”

“Leave a sock on the door or something, holy shit.”

You broke apart to see Shirabu and his not-girlfriend in the doorway. She had her hands covering her face, but not her eyes. His poor roommate looked entirely done and not at all surprised. The two of you quickly sat-up, but Kawanishi secured a firm hold on your waist. Shirabu and his study partner did not leave the room, but in fact walked-in further.

Your kouhai was quick to compose herself and started, “Wow, (F/N). You work fast! And you said you didn’t like him, no wonder you were gushing all—”

“Are you leaving?!” You interrupted.

“This is my room.” Shirabu stated, sighing. “But we’re just stopping here to grab books and then to the library to study.” Kawanishi was dead-silent, lips a straight-line, but the hand on you was drawing lazy circles on your skin.

“Don’t hesitate to text me if you need anything, (L/N)-san! Some snacks? A condom?” Shirabu flicked the girl on the forehead before grabbing her and almost dragging her from the room. "You were gushing over me?" Taichi asked, stating the question dangerously close to your ear. "I'm going to kill her." He laughed and extended another hand, both of his arms resting across your waist as nibbled lightly on the shell of your ear. "Now, don't be mean because she was honest." Kawanishi whispered, a tingle traveling up and down your spine and causing you to arch forward into his touch.

“That was hella embarrassing.”

He pulled back, “It’s embarrassing to be with me?”

“No!” You were quick to answer and grab his arm, pulling him back, “Not at all. I just don’t want an audience when I’m being intimate with the guy I like... What if they walked in a little later?”

He raised a brow at your question, smirk splayed on his face yet again and returning to his close-position by your ear, "What do you think we’d be doing?”

“I don’t know!” You covered your face with your hands, corrupt thoughts popping up and you were almost sure Kawanishi could see your thought bubble. He laughed and placed the hands away, returning back to lean his forehead against your's.

“You’re cute.” And he enveloped you back into another kiss.

You were not the sort of couple that would hold-hands in the hallway and Taichi would rarely ever kiss you out in public. But you would not have it any other way. His affectionate side was for you alone and he made sure to affirm his affections the moment you were behind closed doors. You noticed the little things, lingering looks or a smile thrown your way. In the comfort of your privacy, Taichi would not hesitate to have roam his hands on your skin.

Taichi Kawanishi was one-of-a-kind and you thanked whoever was out there for blessing you with such a charming boy. He was still an ass, no doubt, but he was your ass.

You loved him fully and he would not hesitate to do the same.

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yetanothergamingcouple · 3 years

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24 Hour Gaming Event

Better late than never. Here is our piece on the 24-hour gaming event we went to last September. There will be a post in the next couple of days explaining our silence but for now please enjoy our account of the event.

The awesome Rachel and James over at Bake Battle & Roll organised a mammoth 24-hour gaming event in aid of Sheffield Children’s Hospital. The event kicked off on Saturday 12th September 2020 at 14:00. Katie (occasional guest reviewer) and Kirsty’s mothership joined us for the first 2-hours, and we kicked it off with a couple of games of Side Effect. Katie won both games and the mothership was completely confused by it.

Next we tried a new game to us all, Chronicles of Crimes. Kirsty had been eyeing it up for a while and was excited to try it but was left a bit disappointed. The premise is good, but it was a bit awkward and clunky to play with 4 of us as we had to keep passing Kirsty’s phone around us all.

Kirsty forced the group to play one of her new games, Ghosts Love Candy, we didn’t quite play it right but Andy was surprised at how decent the game was. It’s a fun card drafting game with a cutesy spooky vibe. Kirsty absolutely destroyed the rest of us and won by 10 points.

The last game we played with Katie and the mothership was Cards Against Humanity. Katie had been wanting to play this for years but since she only turned 16 this year the answer has always been nooooo…until now! She was thoroughly disappointed in her crap cards and had to skip a turn to change her hand. As their time was coming to an end we decided to play to 5. It was a close game with us all having 4 wins, but Kirsty managed to steal the tie-breaker game…with rock, paper, scissors.

Kirsty’s mothership and Katie then said goodbye and we were left to fend for ourselves. Kirsty has had her eye on Arkham Horror which is a very heavy/complex board game and a fellow gamer, Chris, became very interested in playing with us and offered to help out. He showed us the basic game mechanic and rolls and we got stuck in to fighting the monsters and teleporting to the Netherworld. Between the three of us we beat the game and a great time was had by all. It’s definitely one that we’d like to buy, but we feel it’d be better with more players.

After such an intense game we felt like something lighter, so we broke out Fluttering Souls and took it easy for a while. It’s a light card drafting game that’s based on the Japanese legend of The White Butterfly. This is one of the games we own and brought with us. Andy won all of the games this time.

After a quick snack another player, Josh, came and asked to join us. Josh chose Side Effect, another game from our collection we brought with us, and we explained the rules to him quickly. As an avid board gamer, Josh picked up the rules easily and won many of the games we had together.

Next up was Everdell. This is a beautiful game with very tactile pieces and a large cardboard tree, which the Meeples of Bake Battle and Roll, James and Rachel, keep on display in a glass cabinet rather than deconstruct it after each play and stored in the game box. We setup the board and managed to read the rules but as this was a new game to both of us and a game of Monster of the Week was due to start we packed it away. We did intend on coming back and playing it later, but Monster of the Week ran over, and we never managed to go back to it.

Neither of us had heard of Monster of the Week let alone played it but it turned out to be a simpler Dungeons & Dragons with simple character creation and rolling. The Keeper (read as DM in Dungeons & Dragons) was Chris and we were playing as ghost detectives a la Scooby Doo. Andy was a street thug/gangster and Kirsty’s character was a mundane. Chris was an excellent Keeper and let us get away with lots of silliness in the name of fun. We gave the NPCs silly names like Mrs. Mister Brown (a drama teacher) and Jason Barson (The bartender’s son). Andy dealt the final blow to the boss ghost with a holy shotgun and we all cheered. Subsequently we have purchased the game book for this and hope to run our own campaigns with our friends.

After saving the world from evil-doers Andy headed over to the Switch to play Mario Kart while Kirsty played Dungeon Mayhem Monster Madness with the James, Rachel, Chris and Josh. James and Rachel had previously played the base game Dungeon Mayhem before so were familiar with the rules and both Chris and Josh picked them up quickly. Josh was the first to be knocked out quickly followed by Chris. It was a close as to who would win, James knocked out Rachel and then Kirsty knocked James out but there was only 2 HP in it.

Kirsty was very much peopled out by this point and decided to have some solo time while Andy played Dungeons and Dragons. This was a team battle royal. All players fighting against progressively harder monsters using pre-created characters. Andy chose a wizard and spent most of the time stood still casting spells galore. Some players were upset that there was no levelling in the event, but we had lots of fun. Everyone was getting pretty tired and James was struggling to run the game so we called it a day.

While Andy was still playing Dungeons and Dragons and once Kirsty had recovered a little she played a couple of games of Rhino Hero. It’s a relatively simple game premise but a lot of fun, especially when you are able to box other players in. You choose a superhero and build platforms with the aim of moving up to the top. You have to roll the dice to see if you move or down, and if so how many levels, or stay where you are. If you are on the same level as another superhero you have to battle to determine who remains there and who moves down. An added complication is the need to hang monkeys from some of the platforms. They are tricky to attach and often fall off when adding new platforms.

We had a small break with some food and coffees and was invited to a game of Talisman. A large game which took a while to play. Players have to work their way from the outside of the game towards the centre. Fighting monsters and trying to find a talisman in order to progress. There were a few laughs and people being turned into toads which raised a lot of laughs. Kirsty fought off all the opposition to claim the victory and we all concluded it was a fun game but not a good game.

Kirsty was very excited to see Bake Battle and Roll had Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas board game in. It’s a very basic game that leaves a lot to be desired. We decided to pack it away mid-game in favour of a bacon sandwich. It had so much potential, but it just fell short.

After a quick run to a nearby café to grab some bacon and egg sandwiches Andy invited Chris to play Space Crusade. He’d been excited about it since the start and didn’t want to disappoint him. This was a quick run of the mission Seek and Destroy and some rule bending to make the game fun. The game ended in a firefight between the Dreadnought, Chris’ Commander, and his plasma gun Marine. With the Dreadnought closing in on him, Chris managed to destroy his enemy and claim the victory. Andy was happy to have killed some of Chris’ Marines and shows that the alien player can win too.

While Andy was playing Space Crusade, Kirsty played Disney Colour Brain with Rachel and Em. You have eleven cards in your hand and one or a combination of cards will answer the question. Getting it right is only half of the battle to scoring a point you need the other players/teams to get it wrong to walk off with the points. It was simple and mind-numbingly easy to grasp but highlighted Kirsty’s need to watch more Disney-Pixar films. Kirsty just managed to scrape a win before moving on to a game of Red Panda. The aim of the game is to get rid of all your cards or be the last player standing. The graphics are super cute and colourful. It’s very much a luck-based game and although it’s clearly a game aimed at children and families it’s a nice filler game for adults.

As exhaustion was finally settling in we opted to play games we were familiar with and cracked out Side Effects again. We played two games with each of us claiming a victory before moving on to Fluxx. It’s been a while since we played the physical copy of Fluxx as we’ve got into the habit of playing it on our phones. Neither one of us can recall just how many games of Fluxx we played nor even who won. Sleep deprivation really took out Kirsty’s competitive nature. After Fluxx we went back to Fluttering Souls, once again neither one of us remembers who won.

We decided we’d see if we could use sleep deprivation to our advantage and tap into some psychic ability to play The Mind. Andy didn’t have high hopes for success and Kirsty was unsure she could count to 2 let alone 100 but we still tried. We’re still unsure what dark magic was afoot but somehow, we managed to reach and complete level 12 with 2 lives remaining. It was as if we were thinking as one.

Being on a high from the win of The Mind we thought we could successfully take on Forbidden Dessert. Oh how wrong were we. We started well, got everything set up and a strategy of who was going where. That quickly went downhill as Andy started to move Kirsty’s pawn and Kirsty kept getting confused by which way the wind blew. All in all it was a disaster and we soon realised we weren’t in a fit state to play Forbidden Dessert so we packed it away.

Andy was a little amazed that Kirsty had never played Dobble before and decided it was due time she did. We played all 5 variants of Dobble in the rule book before Chris wondered over to join us. We played 3 more games of Dobble with Chris before moving on to our final game of the 24-hour event, Sushi Go! Chris hadn’t play Sushi Go! before so we invited him to join us. Andy quickly explained the rules and our final game was underway. Chris picked the rules up well and if not for having the least amount of puddings would have come in 2nd, Andy thought he had the most with 3 but unfortunately for him Kirsty had been squirreling them away and had 4. Andy did manage to win this game though by 3 points.

The 24-hour gaming event was brought to an end with the raffle draw. Between us we came away with a £30 voucher for Punch Menswear in Doncaster, Men’s hair products from Anarchy Hair Salon,

2 Reaper miniatures and 2 hand-made cotton cloths. Kirsty did also win a Big Potato plushie but gave it to the raffle drawer as he seemed disappointed his dad didn’t win it.

It took Andy a couple of days to recover and get his sleep pattern back to normal and Kirsty was just about recovered a week later. It was a fantastic experience with some truly amazing people and games. We would definitely be up for repeating the experience…Kirsty would just need to book a week off work to recover.

A huge thank you to everyone that donated and sent messages of encouragement. When Rachel and James first started they wanted to raise £1000, between donations, sponsorship and raffle tickets they’ve managed to raise £2245. A massive congratulations to both of them for organising such an amazing and successful event.

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kenkamishiro · 4 years

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Ishida Sui’s Review of 2019

I didn’t think I’d ever finish this with my onslaught of classes including pharmacology, but I somehow managed! 6k word count, the longest TL I’ve done to date besides Parvati’s interlude for FGO. Lots of insight into Jack Jeanne’s production and what Ishida’s been up to for the past year. It was tough to translate because it was so long, but I had a lot of fun.

Let me know if there are any mistakes, I’m sure there’s a whole bunch. Have fun reading!

Original can be found here.

＊＊＊

2019. I’m reflecting on this past year while flipping through my agenda. Since I’m writing this for my sake, there’s going to be a lot of sections without much explanation.

January

○ This was when Jack Jeanne had yet to be announced, so I was mostly doing preliminary work at the time. Stuff like “BU” and “character facial expressions” will be finished some time this month, is written in my schedule book.

○ New Year’s party in Tokyo from the 16th - 19th. The New Year’s party is a joint party that’s comprised of the 4th editorial department (Shueisha’s seinen magazine branch) that’s held every year in January. I attended the party with the staff every year during serialization, minus my first year.

2019 will be the first New Year’s party since the series ended, but I thought I should stop inviting the staff to attend since we’re not working together anymore (plus it’d be a hassle), so I didn’t really invite anyone. But the day before the event, Editor M brought up the topic inside the taxi and asked, “Are none of the staff coming this year?” (Even if they’re invited now, it’s going to be impossible, asking them to fly the next day and causing a ruckus…) When I replied, “Hey, I’m sure it’d be fun if you invited them and they all came~”, the editor contacted Goubaru-kun, and after said, “He said he’s going.” Guess he wasn’t busy. In the end, the staff during serialization and several people from OB and OG came, almost identical to the lineup from previous years, and it occurred to me that maybe I should have just invited them from the start.

Anyway, at this year’s New Year’s party, I don’t really remember much of what happened. I talked with my senpais from back when I was an assistant for Kingdom, and outside the venue I sobered up from the agoraphobic dizziness I was feeling inside. At the second party I remember people talking to me haphazardly and being photographed. I wish I’d refused. Also, I was sexually harassed by Rikudou Matsubara, my senpai from the same region as me. This New Year’s party will be my last.

February

Briefing session for the game held in Tokyo. Key visual created. It says here [on the agenda] that I want to go to Kagoshima. Every week there’s a checklist for 10 km of jogging and weight training 2-3 times a week. I spent about a week doing some composition work. It ended up being helpful for me, but it made me decide not to work anymore with people with different levels of interest from me.

○ TRPG is written for the 28th. Usually we use the DX (Double Cross) system, but this time one of our participating players, M’s schedule was under mysterious attack. As game master, taking consideration of everyone who’d made time in their schedules for tonight, I thought we could switch to Cthulhu and asked them to wait an hour. 2 hours later I finished coming up with a scenario and began the session. It was fairly fun.

March

Finish BU this month, is clearly noted down. BU stands for bust-up, which are drawings of characters in standing poses [sprites] that are common in ADV games. Normally, since it takes a huge amount of work, the BU work is always divided up. The original drawings are done by the illustrator, in this case I do the base illustrations (line drawing & colouring), and using them as the base, the department sharing the work cleans up the line drawings and recolours it...that’s how the process goes. But since I’m a mangaka and don’t have the technology needed to make gaming assets, I thought it’d be best to leave it to the pros in that field, so that was how that stage proceeded. At that point in time at least.

I also had plans written down to go to Kagoshima. Looks like I didn’t go.

○ TRPG on the 25th. Player M’s schedule lined up with ours, so we played DX with 6 PL plus me as GM. We went to the aquarium, were attacked by witches, and so on.

April

Finish BU, is faintly written down. It seems like the work was more or less completed earlier this month.

○ High school friend K’s wedding on the 6th. Up until then I’d only been to two other wedding receptions. The weddings were for a different friend from high school, and Tajika-san, one of my senpais from Kingdom. This suddenly reminds me of that time at Tajika-san’s reception, when I took a super early flight because I absolutely didn’t want to be late whatsoever, but I ended up not being able to fly for about an hour and a half because of engine trouble or whatever, so I entered at almost the same time as the bride and groom during the reception…

K’s wedding was the first time in my life where I was present all the way from the wedding to the reception, but how should I put it, I was struck by a beam of light. I don’t know who he’s getting married to, I have no clue what their relationship is like. But I was somehow bombarded...by all these thoughts that became jumbled in my head, like the energy in this place, the power of their oaths, questioning what it was, how light isn’t always justice.

I got the feeling that this was what proper, respectable humans take part in, but since I'm fine with not being a proper, respectable human, I decided to not do anything other than what my heart desires.

I'm definitely not good with places where I’m in the spotlight. But congratulations.

○ “Play Sekiro” is strongly noted down. Thank you for supporting me in the first half of 2019.

○ TRPG for the 29th - 30th. DX. Player M’s character dies.

May - June

My schedule book is starting to look more scattered now. On the other hand, since I’ve got a good memory of this time, I can write while recalling the events.

○ I did the covers for the Touken stage play book.

I drew the cover illustrations for the Touken [Ranbu] stage play that Mikasano-san, who I’m grateful to for his work on the anime and movie scripts for TG, worked on. In my mind, it feels like I'm watching the back of who I'd consider my older brother in the creative world, or a fellow comrade on another battlefield fighting to the death. I think it came out quite charmingly, so I’ll include the links for now. Link 1 | Link 2 | Link 3

During this time of work for Jack Jeanne, I was working on “model sheets”. Blueprints for the characters’ attire, not just from the front but also the internal structure.

Unlike most other games, Jack Jeanne has “performance costumes” in addition to normal attire. Because of its “revue” theme, costumes that will be worn onstage needed to be prepared. I was shocked when I suddenly admitted that I needed model sheets for 5 different performances (spring, summer, fall, winter, final) for the 6 main characters, making 30 designs in total.

Back in the TG era, these kind of drawings that I just explained, or drawings that needed a lot of layers, were a pain in the ass. Plus I wasn’t good at them, so I thought that I didn’t want to do it for the rest of my life if possible. But it seems like I have to do this myself. With a sense of determination, I decided to work solely on this for all of May. At the same time, I made nothing but curry for all my meals. There’s no deep reason behind it, but my aim was to kinda boost my ability to concentrate daily by choosing to be decisive in that action.

○ Working on model sheets It came with an unintended effect. Because I spent a month on work that required balance and consistency, my right-left checking skills got better, and completely unrelated, I improved in drawing perfect copies. The design work for the model sheets itself became really fun to do, starting around when I became obsessed with the scarf design (sumo wrestler drawing) I definitely couldn’t use for Neji’s summer costume. I discovered that it’s precisely because I’m not good at this that my labour bore fruit. I feel like this was my experience for the latter half of the year.

July

The cast members were chosen. Unlike TG, there are 6 people + 1 person who can be referred to as the main character, so it was interesting to have a cast with some breadth.

Seems like lyrical work was the main thing I worked on.

Lyrical work. In Jack Jeanne, each performance contains several songs to sing and dance to, so each one is supposed to be sung. ...hence the lyrics.

The topic of what to do with the lyrics was brought up in November 2018. What happens typically is that, let’s say there’s singing in an idol game, then a company that specializes in it is asked to produce the songs. Even for Jack Jeanne, there were several candidates I could pick and choose from. But after a quick look-through, frankly speaking, they all looked the same to me. There’s one person that’s good, it’d be great if we could get them...is what I thought, but, “Even though I don’t have the skills, I’m the one who understands this world the best,” crossed my mind. ...should I try? I tried it. To be honest, I was super embarrassed since it’d be seen by a lot of people, but it evolved into, “Who cares if you’re doing it?” And so Jack Jeanne’s lyrics were tasked to me.

I mentioned this earlier, but there are multiple songs for each performance. So if you combine those plus the opening and ending songs, that makes 17 songs in total. Lyrics for 17 songs that I’m fully responsible for. What the hell...am I doing? Maybe it was from that moment that I started losing it.

Including the lyrics that I’d been working on bit by bit every month, the remaining ones were finished in one go this July. By the time I finished everything, my current state was, “Give me more songs...let me write more lyrics!” But it wasn’t over just yet.

August

Every time I meet someone I tell this story. I’m thinking of keeping it up. Here I am, relieved to have finished the lyrics, when a message pops up on the Skype group chat. It’s from Yamashita Daisuke of Broccoli.

To briefly touch upon Yamashita Daisuke, he is a young man who’s been involved with this project since October of 2018, and a poor soul who was tasked with conducting very important meetings on his third day of working at the company.

The producer from Broccoli was going on maternity leave, so he was scouted as her replacement. As an aside, if I have to be honest, the exchanges between me and Towada-san, and Broccoli’s Jack Jeanne team up until then were quite frustrating. “How about doing it like this?” they would counter. And we’d respond with something like, “This part is going to be developed later on, and since this will become foreshadowing for the entirety of the story, it can’t be modified that easily.” This kind of situation, having to explain everything in detail one by one, going 3 steps forward and being held 2 steps back, had been going on for about 3 years, so the two of us would often whine about it over drinks, going, “When should we quit, this is ridiculous,” etc.

Finally when things began going more smoothly, the producer who was leading the project took her leave, so I wondered if we’d be able to get along with Yamashita Daisuke, but he was, how should I put it, very diligent. For the last year I've been working with people who don’t put in their best effort, so I was very hopeful and thankful to him.

But I digress. This was the gist of the message that Daisuke sent.

“Kosemura-san’s who’s in charge of musical composition wants ‘scratch vocal tracks’ for when the singers are recording.” “Does Ishida-sensei happen to know anyone he could ask for this favour?” “I’m sure it won’t be a problem for you!” “Frankly speaking, it’s okay even if they’re bad.”

Huh. Well, as you might have already guessed, even with the lyrics, it’s impossible to really understand the song at first sight without knowing what kind of rhythm, what kind of emotions are being expressed in the bar measure. Of course we’d need ‘scratch vocal tracks’ to explain the general feeling of the song.

Now, what Daisuke said was, “Do you have anyone you can ask? It’s okay even if they’re bad. Or even you can do it.” But if I found a “it’s okay even if they’re bad” kind of person, we’d still have to show them how to sing it and explain how the rhythm goes. Daisuke already knew which was probably why he asked for the favour. “The person writing the lyrics would be able to make the scratch vocal tracks the fastest.” ...come to think of it, the demo songs that Kunimitsu sent me every time that were sung using Vocaloid, weren’t they also scratch vocal tracks?

Daisuke must have been in a pinch trying to figure out how he should ask me candidly. Ishida-sensei, I couldn’t just ask you to sing it, so I had to ask in a roundabout manner.

I’d already given my answer, but I was still hesitant. It’s true that after I finished writing the lyrics for the 17 songs I’d already lost sight of myself, but if I sang, my singing would reach Broccoli and Kosemura-san’s team’s ears. But I couldn’t just leave poor Daisuke hanging.

So I consult Towada-shi, whom I’d been collaborating with in creating the scripts for Jack Jeanne, for advice. (He had been in charge of TG’s novels, and I’ve known him for a long time.) “Did you check Skype?” “I did.” “What do you think?” “Start by looking up scratch vocal tracks,” so we paid a visit to YouTube. The first search result that came up for ‘scratch vocal track’ was a video of a vocalist who was used to sing a scratch track for AKB or something. I see, so that’s what it looks like. Innocuous, but I could see it was very professionally done.

And the second result that came up was Tsunku♂-shi. The figure of Tsunku♂-shi himself recording a scratch track for his idols. The producer himself became an idol, and was singing really cutely, in his emotions and how he sang it. “This is it?” I said. “Yeah, it is,” Towada-shi agreed. If Kosemura-san and his team, and the people who will be performing the songs have to listen to it, it’d be a disservice to them to half-ass it. I don’t like people who don’t try their best. That means I have to show that attitude myself. Let’s come out of my shell for poor Daisuke as well.

“You’re gonna become Tsunku♂.” “Yeah...I’m gonna be Tsunku♂!” And that was how I became Tsunku♂.

I replied to Daisuke on the Skype group chat. “Understood, I’ll do what I can.”

So this guy, who doesn’t even know what the ‘D’ in DTM stands for, first downloads the software, and begins setting up a recording environment. Other work is pushed aside. I set 3 days to work on this.

I timidly begin working on the scratch tracks. From the perspective of someone who doesn’t have to listen to their singing for a living, it starts out as a living hell, but you get used to it as you listen to it over and over.

And so I kept learning new things. I noticed I was harmonizing with myself.

Just like Tsunku♂-shi, I’d change the voice for each character. If it was Jack (male in a male role) I’d sing like a man, and if it was Jeanne (male in a female role), then like a woman, while the main character Kisa (female) should sound cute... No, Kisa needs to be cuter! I re-recorded her part many times. Depending on the song, I’d sing for 7 people. I was Jack Jeanne now.

Tsunku♂ (I) recorded 17 songs in 3 days, and sent the data first to Towada-shi. Since I was now Tsunku♂, I no longer felt any sense of embarrassment.

“I listened to it,” the reply came, and I called him. Towada-shi was roaring with laughter. I regained the embarrassment I’d forgotten.

“Oh no, I was laughing ‘cause I was impressed,” he said, but my heart was already as fragile as that of an abandoned dog.

“Even this is a big help to Kosemura-san, and Daisuke should be grateful, right?” Yeah. Although Towada-shi guffawed at me, Daisuke will surely thank me. And then he’ll definitely tell me what a good job I did!

I dumped the music into the Skype group chat. “I did what I could,” I added.

How will Daisuke react to my Tsunku♂? I waited restlessly. Three days later on August 5th, a formal message arrived after it was received.

“Thank you very much. We will schedule a meeting with Kosemura-san…”

I couldn’t believe my eyes. My hard work got dismissed with, “Thank you very much.”

Daisuke, why? I thought you were in a pinch, so I...were...were you fooling with me from the start? Answer me! Daisuke! Just tell me I did a good job, or follow up with something, I’m fine with anything! So much for my heart being like an abandoned dog, it’s more like a grown-ass man left naked on a snowy mountain. I did what I could! This feeling was welling up inside me, but was it myself that managed to do it?

○ Later, at a meeting with Kosemura-san “It’s great that you could do this much for us. You didn’t have to do all that.” With the gist of those words, a warm blanket was finally placed over my heart, which had almost frozen to death.

“I didn’t know how to respond. I wasn’t sure if Sensei was the most who did it in the first place,” Daisuke said, so I decided to satisfy myself by threatening, “I’m gonna tell this story until the day I die.”

September

○ Responses to the Questions to Ishida Sui contest We did a “Ask anything to Ishida Sui” contest as a project for the art book “zakki:re”, where purchasers could apply with a postcard. I was writing the replies for them.

I thought there’d be a lot more questions about TG or its contents, but surprisingly there were a lot of questions asking for life advice. There were quite a few questions that I had to seriously think about to answer.

It was kinda tough since there were over a hundred of them, but I thought it’d be nice to get in touch like this every once in a while.

○ BU work for Jack Jeanne Once the music-related tasks like lyrical composition and scratch vocal tracks were completed, I worked on BU. ...BU work? Wasn’t it finished back in April?

Well, a similar situation arose just like what happened with the lyrics. Regarding sprite quality I might not be able to beat the pros, but since I’m the one who best understands how the characters look best and their body balance, I had decided to do all the line drawing colouring myself in June. I had no clue whether I’d make the deadline or maintain the quality, but thanks to Broccoli’s understanding, I was allowed to make it myself.

I realized once again that I’m terrible at splitting up work. If I can do it by myself, I will.

Plus, it’s, how should I put it, starting from my TG days, even though it wasn’t a lot I got to see various types of workplaces. I’d see places where there was no sense of responsibility whatsoever, or the work may have been divvied up appropriately, but it felt like they were making something without a sense of purpose, like a main plot line that isn’t going anywhere.

It’s impossible to accomplish big things with that kind of stance, and I understand that the more people that intervene, the more uncertain the core becomes, so I didn’t like that kind of approach. It makes me wonder whether there’s any meaning in creating a work that’s conservative and unchallenged, and if it’s nothing more than a money grab.

Since I don’t have any desire for material things, getting fed up about it is useless, but I just can’t help thinking about it.

Of course, it may be difficult to get what I want 100% of the time, but I want to create things in an environment that I think is beautiful, even in places that I’m slightly involved in.

...in other words, BU work is tough, but I began remaking the sprites once again by myself. This was the toughest work I’ve ever done out of everything, including the serialization...

○ Scratch vocals training camp at the end of September I went to the recording for the scratch vocal tracks. Based on the scratch tracks that I made, we got professional vocalists to sing it again properly. This is what the actual cast would use as a reference to sing. (So my version was like the pre-scratch vocal track.)

I was stuck in Tokyo for almost a week. Wake up, get ready, go to the recording studio. Come back at 8 or 9 pm, rest and sleep, repeat.

It was like I was back in school, and since I don’t have a steady lifestyle, I enjoyed it.

Kosemura-san’s team is really great, and I know I mentioned this before, but I felt like their workplace was a very healthy production site. When I was drawing manga, I never had much time to talk with fellow manga artists, and I’ve never had the chance to experience what other professionals’ workplaces were like, so it was very exciting for me to see people as professionals tackle one thing seriously. The vocalists were as amazing as I expected, and although my scratch tracks were played at a loud volume to annoy me, I had a great time.

The game might have a high level of entry, but it’s worth listening to just for the songs, is what I truly thought.

○ Parting words to Editor M-shi This might have been back in August, but from 2018 to 2019 I had a lot of things on my mind, so I began talking to the editor.

In between the 11 years of serialization starting from my rookie days, I’d received guidance from him so it wasn’t easy, but I expressed to him that we should keep our distance for any future works.

“I want to become absorbed in myself, not to Ishida Sui or Tokyo Ghoul,” I told him. The other part said he also felt the same way, and accepted it. The next time we meet, I hope we can talk about what we’re into, what we’re going crazy over, he said.

And so, 2 months after that conversation was the scratch vocals training camp in Tokyo, and I had the chance for the two of us to talk again. That day I was completely tuckered out from recording the scratch track, but it was a day filled with accomplishments.

He took me to a restaurant with delicious food in Ebisu or somewhere, and after concluding our brief business meeting, I tried throwing out the cliched, “So, what are you up to lately?” As the lead writer, there was a part of me that was curious about how he was doing after that talk we had.

The editor began talking about homemade curry.

...that’s what he’s into? I decide everything from selecting and picking the ingredients myself, and next time I want Ishida-kun to also see how delicious the curry is...he told me passionately, but how should I put it, the conversation wasn’t very spicy.

The food was delicious.

October

○ BU work

What’s hard about BU work is that it’s difficult to separate the layers according to the face, hair and clothes, and they all have to have the same style and touch to it. If it was manga, then maybe...no, even in manga, there’s still some need to match the outfits, but it doesn’t really matter to that extent.

It’s because I don’t like game sprites. “This character has so much energy from their sideways pose! Amazing!” This never happens…

Around this time of the year, my older sister called this elaborate task, “the task you’re probably the worst at.”

○ The bean life I’m not really fat in particular, but I made up my mind to try dieting. At the time, my body fat percentage was at 18%, and I’ve never been below 10% ever in my entire life, so I’m thinking of aiming for that. Instead of eating rice with unseasoned chickpeas and black soybeans, I began my lifestyle of consuming vegetables and cuts of meat with less fat. Hopefully I can achieve my goal in about six months’ time.

○ Ano-chan, Honda Keisuke, and I After Ano-chan left “You’ll Melt More!”, her official Twitter account removed every single account she was following, but for some reason only two people remained. Those two people were Honda Keisuke and Ishida Sui. To Ano-chan, Honda Keisuke and Ishida Sui belonged in the same category. After some time passed, even we were removed, but I consider this one of my hottest mysteries of 2019. Ano-chan! I’ll always be waiting, so let’s have tea some time with Honda Keisuke!

November

○ BU Need I say more.

○ Main cast’s first recording session from the 26th - 27th.

I visited Tokyo with Towada-shi to supervise the main cast members’ recording session. Wow, everyone was so amazing~

Of course, not just the main characters. Terasaki Yuka-san who plays the main character, Tachibana Kisa, was wonderful as well.

In this kind of game genre, the position as the main character feels less important than the male characters, but I want her to stand firmly in this story’s script. I thought it’d be nice to have the main character not stand out too much and have her watch over the male characters, and I felt that Terasaki-san’s voice and acting fit that image perfectly.

About the cast members, it seems like there’ll be a chance to speak to them eventually, so I’ll come back again.

○ 1 month into the bean life I’m steadily losing weight. Basically I always work from home. I go to the gym and supermarket 2-3 times a week. I started cooking for myself. I got a brand new refrigerator to replace the one that suddenly broke. It actually cools things down now. Living standards have risen.

December

○ I break off ties with M who I played TRPG together with. He was a former classmate who was even chief assistant at some point during the series’ run, but eventually he ended up getting fired due to falling asleep at work. He said he’d attend the last session for the story that day (although his own character had already died), and I was working on a schedule to accommodate him, but once again he cancelled at the last minute.

It’s fine to cause trouble for me (although I’ll probably get pissed), but I can’t overlook treating others the same way. And it’s not the fact that his schedule didn’t match up, it’s because he was complete trash who didn’t know how to behave like an adult once he made plans with others, that I felt sorry for the other TRPG people who took time out of their schedules. Since I felt ashamed when I was together with him, I decided I’d had enough.

This was a year where I cut ties with a lot of people, but I think what they had in common was that I was ashamed to be with them. From now on, I don’t want to associate with such people.

What’s more, when I finally told him, he didn’t even try to deal with it and just gave up, responding, “So that’s how you felt about me. Okay. My bad.”

I won’t go anywhere with those kind of people again.

○ The bean life ⇒ the potato life. I changed it to potatoes.

○ BU is over...

On December 17th, I finally finished the BU work that I spent ageeeeeeeees on.

Although I said that serialization is tough, as long as I finished 18 pages a week that was it (although there were times where I was chasing myself with other work), so I could finish it as long as I didn’t sleep. I somehow managed to finish both the manuscripts and the colour illustrations this way, so expecting BU to be similar, I wasn’t really scared about it never ending, but BU truly was despair. When is this gonna end? I’m even working super hard… This is how it went on the entire time for over a month.

There were about 200 different sprites I had to make myself, including the different costumes and poses, and I had to do all of them.

For one thing, when, “This process is necessary,” came out, I had to go through the same process roughly 200 times, that it felt like I was facing the final boss who already transformed many times. Also, it’s like not equipping myself with a lot of equipment and recovery items in the previous town, but the dungeon I somehow managed to enter is extremely dangerous and even though there’s no safe points anywhere in sight, the boss suddenly comes up behind you, and you go I’m gonna die I’m gonna die

○ If you eat a lot while you’re losing weight, you’re going to have a bad time.

On December 15th I had trouble concentrating, so I tidied up the living room, created a space in the middle of the room, and darkened the lights. After an hour of meditating, only the sound of my breathing could be heard in the room, and so I went back to work with renewed concentration after confronting the issue (like a monk?).

On December 16th, I’ve been working the entire time since morning. I thought today was going to be the last day, but an entire day has passed and I don’t have any energy...

I’ll buy a midnight snack, replenish my energy, and end it once and for all. I’m trying to lose weight, but I went to the convenience store while thinking about how I’m gonna eat a katsu sandwich (I didn’t have the energy to cook).

While looking for something at a convenience store I can eat during weight loss, I think back over the last few months.

Like how it seems like BU is finally over, how a lot of things have happened, how I’m working hard, how lately I’ve been eating only potatoes, vegetables and meat.

And then I suddenly thought, “I wonder if the reason I don’t have any energy is because I haven’t had any rice lately.”

...I thought I should go on a diet in October, so I’ve been living a very modest life since then. Thanks to that, my weight has steadily decreased, and my body fat percentage has gone down 3% to 15%. What will happen if I continue with my relatively strict dietary restrictions during this difficult time?

...even if you’re losing weight, there’s a technique you can set up to binge eat during periods where weight loss stagnates, called cheat day (though results may vary), but what is it that makes no-cheating so inefficient even for weight loss?

...should I have a cheat day today?

“Huh, is it really okay?” I asked my mind. “Do it!” was the answer I got. From that moment, everything around me morphed into things I could eat.

No exaggeration, my knees trembled.

I crammed into my shopping basket carbohydrates, carbs, more carbs… It’s okay just for today, I say as I shove cream puffs, dorayaki, pudding, Family Mart chicken and ice cream. (Even if it's a cheat day, it’s probably not a good idea to take non-nutritional foods, but shh.)

With food in both hands and in high spirits, the first thing I ate was the delicious part of the Family Mart chicken.

I groaned loudly, all alone in the room.

Alright, let’s finish this work! I was energized, but my blood sugar levels spiked so much that I felt extremely sleepy and went to bed instead.

The next day on the 17th, I wake up at 4 am and immediately notice something unusual. My body is burning. I’m sweating.

I immediately wake up, and overflowing with energy, I head for my desk. I’m working actively, and I finish the BU work. It felt like I was pushing forward with only positive energy, feeling uplifted.

I break out a laugh at a slight joke I found funny from a foreign drama (The Mentalist) I’m playing while working. The greenery of the plants and the lighted sink glisten, and the scenery is vivid.

What is this?

I suddenly recall the story of a YouTuber I saw recently. He lives in a region where medical marijuana is legalized, and he explained in detail what changes would occur if you smoked cannabis.

To put it roughly, you feel calm and your senses sharpen. Trivial things can become funny, and funny videos can make you roar with laughter.

Then maybe...I thought, I'll watch Nagareboshi (a comedy duo) on YouTube. Usually I go, haha, that's funny! But that day I exploded with laughter...all of their videos were just too funny.

I learned that when you’re losing weight and suddenly eat a lot, it alters your mind and body as if you smoked cannabis. (※ Just to be clear, I don’t know what cannabis is like.)

Thus the BU work ended with me being high as a kite.

(※ I’m covering it with mosaics for now. I’ll remove it once I can announce it.)

○ I stopped playing TRPGs. I’ve been doing it for about two and a half years, but it also helped me in honing my creative skills. I’d sometimes perform, so it was useful when I was recording the scratch vocals… It was a good experience, managing to vicariously live the energy of ending a story. It was a story about a group of friends, so it was easy to appreciate.

Summing up 2019

After the weekly series finished in 2018, I was in a daze for a few months, but in 2019 I worked only on Jack Jeanne for the year.

This year I tried various things, and trite as it may seem, felt the possibilities within myself expanding. I had many opportunities to realize how important it is to keep a distance from bad things that don’t do anything for me.

During my work on Jack Jeanne, I vaguely thought about my future creations. The work I’m doing now in game production is fun so I wonder if I can keep working in this field, but I’d also like an environment where I can release things more constantly.

I can’t promise anything specific, but I’m going to work on things that I want to do.

I look forward to what 2020 has to offer. Have a happy New Year.

2019.12.31 Ishida Sui

#Jack Jeanne #Ishida Sui #Translations #my translations #time to hibernate

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currentfandomkick · 4 years

Text

Bio! Dad Strange Part 9

Jason returns, may be a 2 parter to cover tim getting kidnapped and the aftermath. Will let you know at the end. We are getting to Marinette dealing with Ladybugging soon.

Marinette wasnt sure what to think this year. She met The Barry Allen last year. She also figured out 2 heroes pre-flash revelation and two more after—in her defense Hero Stalker’s old theory on The first Robin did Batman in. it is not her fault 5 founding members have the multiple-persona game of a booger.

She was also Tetch (Mad Hatter. Doesnt deserve the name) and Mr. J’s, Jerimah’s, last victim before they died. Then some idiots revived Jerimah. She hates his cult a lot, okay.

Everyone was on high alert and trying to keep her inside. The thing is, she hates being inside. She’s inside for designing, sure. Research? She’ll live.

But 24/7 inside time?

Never a good combo with her.

Rose’s plants may be snitches, but they seemed to agree on the over coddling. She’s ten, can break phones by tapping them, and is defiantely more off her stickers than on at the moment.

The one on her was uring her into some alleyway. If she was reading the movement pattern right, a gang fight.

Lovely, she usually did these with some sort of supervision but they were all being rude and she needed time outside.

She checked her belt, a few pairs of ball weights tied together with one chain each to make bolas clipped to back. She has a taser in hand, and a few rubber bullet loaded gun on one hip and a stun gun her size in the other. She had a packet of zipties and rope up each sleeve. Easy to giftwrap and humiliate bad people, like Batman does.

She blinked once when she saw—new player? In a bright red full face helmet that looks horrible. And he’s holding that gun make all wrong to max out usage. Ugh, amatuers.

Some part of her groaned about a potential run-in with Batman and his new Robin—she was pissed about Tim not telling her still—and decided this was as good an anger management as any. New vigilante, maybe the sirens would help him find a team.

She snuck up behind a few members, quick to grab the guns and move them out of reach. No need to give anyone playing possum an easy out, right—she saw a mix of her people in with the gang. She needed to teip this guy up before he hurt the RKC street kids and honoraries tangled up in this.

“Hey helmet, if you’re gonna shoot them you’re holding the gun wrong.”

Helmet turned to see her. She didnt grab her usual harley-knock off outfit for helping today. She wanted to be Pixie Pop for a bit. And if the Rogues forgot that she’s Pixie well, better for her, right? Pixie just wore her hair like Tinkerbell and wore a bit of green.

The guy he was aiming at made to run.

Marinette grabbed a makeshift bolas and threw it at his knees. She recognized him from one of the RKC hit lists—human trafficker. He fell with them wrapped around tight and defiantely injured bith his knees with how the weights hit him.

“I, Pixie Pop?” Weird, no one had seen her as Pixie in two years. How’d he know it was her?

“Yeah. Havent been around much lately.” She threw another bola at another guy. “You new?”

“Talk after i kill these guys.”

Marinette rolled her eyes, because really?

She threw a knife to screw his aim into non-lethal on one guy. “Kick their ass first, some RKC are in here.”

Helmet oddly did as she said, switching from guns to—is that. A. Sword?

She twisted to punch the guy sneaking up on her. Helmet threw a sword and landed it in his shoulder.

“Thanks!”

“Holy shot you’re really here this time.”

“Did you get hit with feargas as a baby or something?” Her partner being prone to dellusions and good with weapons was a bad thing.

“Just came back from the dead is all.”

marinette hit the guy going for helmet with her stun gun.

“That’ll do it!”

Helmet turned to one of the guys, gun at the ready. She had a feeling Helmet needed a lot of help, or else one of Rose’s agents would be down.

“If you know about pixies, you should know she got an upgrade to having some trust dust.”

Marinette walked over to the guy, letting her tracker plant take a look. The flower bloomed and he got a face full of ‘filter-less pollen’ that’s as close to a truth serum as Rose could make. After all, people can turn sides.

“Truth pollen?” Helmet was staring at her closely.

“Yep.” Marinette turned to her victim. “Are you helping the traffickers?”

“Does infiltration and killing them count as helping?”

Helmet stared at them then.

“Which team?”

“HKT ma’am. How did you get rose to give you one of those?”

“Think for a minute who she gives these to.”

“Comanding officers of the the RKC reconn and interigation but there’s only 15 and i met them all when i joined in the fall.”

“Im the summer help when theyre not puppy gaurding. Now, i have to do zipties on the traffickers, think you can help?”

“I lost coordination from the pollen.”

“Of course you did.”

Marinette turned to see Helmet staring at her. Like she should be dead, not the new revival guy.

“Good enough.”

“I thought only Poison Ivy could do things like that.”

“I have a badass team, well, when they aren’t going overboard. One week kidnapped and suddenly im made of glass.”

“Pixie you are what, ten?”

“So? Two of my best friends went missing becuase no one stepped up, one of them resurfaced as an idiot a year later but still.”

Helmet stopped then. “Two?”

“Hero stalker went after our big brother vanished.. he came back as an idiot.”

Helmet paused. “Hey, you check the others and i’ll help you drop off the good ones at a doctor or something.”

“Zipties are at the ready. Mind doing your share?”

Helmet did as she asked, working with her until all was squared away.

“Okay, my tracker gave off a signal to the RKC to gather our guys here, and—why are bleeding?”

Helmet looked up at her then. “I am?”

“... you’re coming with me since i dont know if you need a transfusion, but i know a guy who can help.”

“I’m driving.”

“On what?”

“Motorcycle.”

Marinette let him walk her to it, and she got on first. He ‘drove’ them while the plant told her when to turn. They ended up at her dad’s clinic as ‘Mr. Smith’. He was so grounding her.

“Smith, i need help,” she tried.

Her dad came out and paled when he saw her carrying Helmet. Before he passed out he let her take it off. “Red hoodie... oh god he said he was revived.”

Her father worked out the blood bags while she checked the wound, bullet still in there. She got it out with tweezers. No major damage to the muscles and shit. How many scars did he have? Pre or post revival?

When he came to she turned to her father and said one thing.

“So this is my new brother. Dont try to get out of it, he kept me alive when i was comstantly pixie, and you said if he was in a bad place then you’d take him in, no questions asked.”

Strange sighed, nodded, and went back to fixing Helmet up.

The next day he was forced moved into an extra room by hers. Somehow there was already clothes his size and style in it.

“Pixie...”

“Im determined and my honorary aunt is a cat burglar.”

Helmet hugged her.

“So for the documents, what do you want to go by?”

Helmet said he didnt want it to be obvious, given who he was before.

“Its not like you were robin.”

“I was.”

“.... i know two robins now, pre-robining. What is my life?”

“ you are ten, calm down. And you knew dick?”

“Met him as Nightwing, not very friendly. But uh, remember hero stalker?”

“The idiot who followed me and B?”

“Yeah, so funny thing, it was a thing that he wanted to be Robin when you went off from Gotham, and then he somehow managed to convince bats to take him on.”

“That Child is Robin.”

“Will be another hero soon if he knows what’s good for him—he’s too easy to make.”

“Wait, you know who he is-is or—”

“I know 5 secret identities and want to lodge a formal complaint about heroes having no secret identity game.”

“Youre ten. I refuse to let you deal with legal things.”

“But illegal is still on the table?”

“I am a vigilante, of course it is.”

“Good, so can we tlak about how dumb Supes secret id is? I photoshoped glasses on as a joke and looked at my file and knew.”

“Wait have they found you yet?”

“No? I dont think so. Not the mom and step dad or father one yet.”

“But its.”

“I know, but i can keep multiple secret identities. They cant handle one. What is this bull they drop in my lap? No masks for two of them, and the three with cant even manage a basic gait switch?”

“I am so glad you noticed too.”

“Also we need to intervene with Hero Stalker.”

“Does your father know-know or...”

“Knows i know, but knows im not telling even in death.”

“Fair. So, heads up i am going to yell at the JL after killing B for impact.”

“How about beating him up instead and kidnapping Hero Stalker? Bats is fine just needs an adult working with him.”

“Maybe. If my mind wasnt so fucked i’d send the Dick a text or something about this, but i think he hates me so that probably wouldnt work.”

“We have planning time, that’s what my house arrest is good for. Now name.”

“... i want to go by Jay.”

“James work?”

“Sure.”

“James “Jay” Smith then. And we are fixing your vilagante outfit.”

“What’s wrong with it.”

“Your helmet has a nose. And the who this is shit for discreet armour. I’ll get a rant in fifteen on armor history from a fashion obsessed friend and make something for you using that, ok?”

“Do i have a choice?”

“I am your little sister offically. resistance is futile.”

—

So the long awaited return of Red Hoodie/Red Hood/Jason Todd.

For refrence (as age is weird here) Jason looks 14/15 here, but due to dead years is technically 18

Tim is 12

Marinette is 10

Dick is 20something.

Bruce is 30something

Heads up, this will be a two parter for this summer. As i love the next part but need sleep.

@ilovefluffbutsmutisalsogreat @emeraldpuffguide @dast218 @weird-pale-blonde-person @mystery-5-5

#maribat #maribat au #ml au #my au #my idea #marinette strange dupain cheng #marinette strange dupain cheng part 9 #bio! dad au #bio!dad strange #bio!dad au #this was so long guys #jason is back though #next one is chaos and tag-teaming and so much #its a ride and then we get ladybugging after

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txtdiaries · 5 years

Text

Momentum - Chapter Two

SUMMARY | You don’t know what to expect during your first ever date with the boy of your dreams, but as the night goes on and things start to fall into place almost effortlessly, you realize one thing and one thing only about Choi Soobin - he is perfect for you.

PAIRING | Soobin X Reader

CATEGORY | college au, crush, slow burn, sports, date night, etc.

WORD COUNT | 7.9k

WARNINGS | swearing, fluff galore

SONG REC | Two More Minutes - Jaymes Young

PLAYLIST | momentum playlist

Preview / Chapter One / Chapter Two

Your eyes scan the football field, searching for the only jersey with the number 8 etched into the back of it as your feet carry you across the damp turf. You notice the group of players huddled up a few yards away as you get closer, and you make sure to skew from the coach’s line of sight - not wanting to draw attention to yourself in the process.

Regardless of it being almost seven at night, the sun still hasn’t fully set, and the sky is radiating a slightly darkened blue color. You take a moment to skim over the players again, eyes finally focusing on one specifically when they find the tallest boy amid the group.

Soobin is always easy to find.

He’s adorning his black and white football uniform, paired with his cleats and black knee socks, and a checkered sweatband is wrapped around his wrist to finish off his practice attire. You take note of the way your chest squeezes once he grins at something another one of his teammates says, and quickly shake your head to somehow shake the feeling off.

You notice how Soobin’s helmet dangles from in between his fingers as you get closer - having been taken off only moments before - and how his black hair is matted down; clinging against his forehead and neck. His glasses are nowhere to be seen, and seeing him without them sends butterflies erupting in your stomach. The number on his back - Soobin’s famous number - beams proudly under the fluorescent lights dotted around the edges of the field, and you take a second to mull over the nickname he’s carried since freshman year to now. The unforgettable nickname that’s been his, and only his, since the first game of the season, two years ago.

The golden infinity, he had been labeled, since Soobin is supposedly the best in everyone’s eyes, and always will be. You can’t exactly blame them for thinking so. Soobin is the best of the best - you just can’t help but wonder if he sees himself this way too.

You know better than to think so.

After a few moments of shifting your weight from one foot to the other, you clear your throat; causing a few eyes to look your way. You don’t actually know that many of the boys on the football team. You only recognize a cute boy named Hyunjin, who has Math with you, and another boy named Mark.

You’re familiar with Mark. Not only because he’s popular and the football team’s star quarterback, but because he hit on you in English class last week. You avoid his burning stare instantly

“Yo, infinity,” Mark interrupts the coach’s light speal about the game-plan review for next week and looks over toward Soobin. He snaps his head in Mark’s direction at the mention of his name and his eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Your girlfriend is here.”

Your heart lurches in your chest after the words are said, and you watch as Soobin’s cheeks burn suddenly when Mark motions towards you. He quickly looks over with a light chuckle before his gaze lands on you. Your eyes widen as they flash over Mark before meeting Soobin’s again. He only grins at this.

You don’t actually know how Mark knows you’re there for Soobin, but you quickly gather that he had to have told some of his friends he had a date. Teammates or not, word spreads fast amongst jocks. Soobin is clearly no exception.

The coach finishes his speech and the players all break, half of them barely paying attention anyway as he tries to keep everyone’s energy up for the next game. Soobin shoves Mark’s shoulder amidst the chaos, and then moves quickly to grab his bag and walk over to your spot near the bench, a shy grin adorning his face as he does so. You fight to hold one back as well.

“Hey, sorry for having you come all the way here. Practice ran over.”

You shrug lightheartedly, “It’s fine, I don’t mind.”

His dimple carves it’s place into his cheek, and you feel yourself smile back at Soobin, heart rate accelerating.

“Alright. We can head back to my dorm just so I can get out of these clothes and then we can head out, sound good?”

You nod as if you aren’t spiked with anxiety, because you’re really about to go to the Choi Soobin’s dorm room. You try not to overthink the situation, and then follow him off the field and onto the sidewalk, walking towards the student housing buildings quickly.

Soobin keeps you both occupied as you make your way east of the football field - asking you about your classes, how your day was going, and just about everything in between. You can sense his nerves as you two speak, but try to relax. After all, it is just Soobin.

“My roommate shouldn’t be back yet, he had a test to study for.” Soobin explains once you two finally reach his dorm and stand in front of his room. He fishes a pair of keys from his black duffel bag and slides a small silver one into the lock, twisting lightly before pushing the door open. It’s one of the most mundane things ever - but it brings a blush to your cheeks.

Get it together, you tell yourself.

You walk in behind Soobin and watch as he carelessly tosses his items aside and onto the floor near his bed. You avert your eyes after he opens one of his dresser drawers, not wanting to seem nosy before your eyes start to wander around the room, studying it curiously.

Soobin’s roommate truly is nowhere to be seen, but his side of the room is so messy, you wouldn’t be surprised if he happened to be buried somewhere under all the laundry on the ground. His side of the room is far less organized, so you don’t pay much attention to it.

Soobin’s half, on the other hand, is practically spotless.

His bed is made, adorn with black bedsheets and matching pillows. He has a small bunny plushy propped up against one pillow, and you grin when you see it. Colorful throw pillows and even a small fluffy blanket are the only colorful items occupying the bed, making it look extremely comfortable along with welcoming. Your heart warms at Soobin’s possessions.

His laptop sits closed on his desk in the corner, and a pair of speakers sit on each side of it, turned off. Textbooks are lined up neatly on his long shelf just above, and his black backpack rests on the chair just next to it. Soobin doesn’t have a lot of space for his things, but from what you can see, everything on his side is just purely Soobin. From his bottled cologne resting on his shelf, or his glasses resting on the Algebra book laid open on his bed. Small details of him lie right in front of your eyes, and you take note of all of them.

The packet of unopened ramen noodles near his books, most likely for late night snacking. His pencil case shoved to the brim with different colored pens and highlighters for the hours he undoubtedly spends studying. Even the black journal you see peeking out from under his pillow, and the romance novel he strategically has shoved next to a science textbook on his desk, these small things hidden by others, almost as if he doesn’t want to be completely and fully exposed - even in his own bedroom. It all comes together perfectly.

You know right here and now - you really like Soobin.

“I’m sorry it’s kinda messy.” Soobin speaks up as he pulls out a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, leaning over to swipe his glasses of the book before looking down at you bashfully.

You smile up at him, “You gotta stop apologizing so much. It’s not messy at all.”

He chuckles lowly at this before shaking his head.

“You can sit down if you want, I’ll just be a minute.”

You tuck some hair behind your ear and nod, moving to sit on his bed as he makes his way to the door again. Your stomach flips at the thought of being alone in Soobin’s room - almost like you shouldn’t be here at all. Like it’s his sacred place you shouldn’t have invaded in the first place. With your thoughts running and your eyes wandering again, Soobin steps out, closing the door behind him.

Your phone buzzes instantly - almost as if it was waiting for him to leave.

You pull it from your back pocket in confusion, eyes scanning over the text you see as soon as you do.

HOW’S IT GOING? - Junie

The text sent in all caps stares back at you in all its glory, and you laugh at Yeonjun’s excitement. You thumb back a reply easily.

I’m literally in his dorm room right now - send help.

You lock your screen and pocket the device again, fingers drumming against your knee in boredom. You don’t want to inspect every inch of the room, because that would be weird, so instead you stand and peer at Soobin’s book collection, trying to see if you have any of the same ones.

You can’t remember if Soobin is a literature major or a communication major, and your memory flashes as you swiftly recall that he had switched from one to the other. The only reason you know this is because Yeonjun, ironically, had a mutual friend with Soobin, and they had seen him leaving the Advising Center one sunny day last semester. After his friend Beomgyu, Yeonjun had later filled you in on his name, saw him, they chatted for a bit with Yeonjun right there. Although he couldn’t remember any of the most pressing details - you were lucky, and a little shocked, to get any at all. Besides, Soobin was just a casual crush you had - a boy you blushed and hid from whenever you saw him crossing campus - it almost felt weird to be informed of these things when you didn’t really know him in the first place.

Until now. Now, you were getting there.

After your eyes scan over his Digital Communication book and his Human Relations book, you safely decide that he was in fact a COMM major. You can’t help as your mind starts to wander, filling with questions and wondering why he switched in the first place. Clearly he loved literature - that was obvious given his extensive collection of literary classics and, surprisingly, modern romance and sci-fi novels, stacked on his shelf. Maybe he had simply switched because it wasn’t for him. Or maybe he switched for an entirely different reason. You can only wonder.

Soobin re-appears in no time, and you glance over as he walks in again, noticing how his hair is now styled and his outfit, changed. You smile at this before meeting his eyes.

“Ready?” He questions, a cute grin tugging at the corners of his lips. You nod swiftly and step forward, moving to walk out the doorway with him.

“You still haven’t told me where we’re going,” You comment, noticing how Soobin’s shoulder brushes against yours as he reaches into his pocket for his keys again to lock the door, “You could be kidnapping me for all I know.”

Instead of giving you a clear answer, he chuckles and pulls you gently, excitedly by the wrist towards the exit, “Well it wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?”

“You’re swinging too low!” You call to Soobin who stands behind a chain linked fence, baseball bat in hand and helmet on head, facing an automatic pitching machine.

Out of all the places Soobin could have taken you on a first date, he took you to a sports playground. And to make matters even better - he was losing.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a jock?” You tease, watching as Soobin swings aggressively again, missing the ball by a longshot. His shoulders shake with laughter at your comment before he yells back, fixing his stance again.

“I’m out of practice and you’re making me nervous!”

You nod even though he can’t see and tug your own helmet on, laughing at his final swing. Soobin ticks the ball and sends it flying to the left of him, travelling a few feet away before crashing into the fence. His eyes meet yours as you walk up to the gate entrance.

“Well I could have done better than that.” You say.

Soobin laughs at you, and it warms something deep in the pit of your stomach, “I’ll school you at basketball later on, don’t worry. Just try getting a few swings in to warm up and then get ready to lose.”

He was overly enthusiastic when you two first arrived, hands covering your eyes so you wouldn’t peek and ruin the surprise. When he finally revealed the large sign outside reading Benny’s Sports Playground, he was grinning ear to ear. You should have known Soobin would take you to a place like this for your first date. It was perfect, and you were both eager to play some games.

First on the list was baseball, seeing as it was the first actual game to be seen as you both entered. It was secluded enough, through a small entrance and shielded by a chain fence linked around its perimeter. It was a good warm-up game, you and Soobin had both agreed on that. After baseball, though, it’s basketball. And after that, you don’t dare guess what Soobin has in mind.

“I won’t be the one losing.” You feign confidence, stepping onto the artificial field before making your way over.

“Okay,” He shrugs, voice raising a few octaves as he shrugs goofily, “Okay! Prove it then.”

You laugh at his tone, walking over to take the bat from him. Soobin pulls back gently as soon as you reach for it, lifting it back and up so it’s just out of reach, and smirks at you. You frown now and grab at it, pulling after your fingers wrap around the handle.

You realize, just then, that you two are acting like a couple. To a complete stranger, it could be interpreted as shameless flirting, and the thought alone almost makes you blush. Because Soobin is flirting, and you are actually letting him.

“Okay, okay, let’s see what you’ve got.” Soobin finally releases the bat after your shared moment, and steps back to lean against the fence enclosing the two of you a few feet away. You know he shouldn’t be the distance away that he is while you’re batting, but you don’t mention it. The workers took their break as soon as the two of you arrived anyway, not seeing the need to watch over two adults. You just hope they don’t arrive back anytime soon.

“You’re gonna regret making fun of me, watch.” You giggle, widening your stance before lifting the bat up, squaring your eyes on the machine a few yards away.

“Focus on the ball, not on me.” Soobin teases you back, but it makes your stomach flip anyway. You clear your throat after his words hang in the empty air, finally taking a deep breath before preparing to swing.

“I can do both.” You admit, far too quickly than you’d like, and you feel your cheeks heat up right after. You hear Soobin let out a laugh again before you laugh along, finally focusing the majority of your attention on the machine.

You only just let out a full breathe before the white ball is shooting out from the pitching square and flying rapidly towards you. You can feel yourself react a few seconds too late, and the ball goes rushing past you and clashes harshly into the fence just right of you as you swing, body spinning as you lose your footing from your uneven swing.

Soobin is right by your side now, trying to hold back his giggles as you stumble.

“Oh my- are you okay?” He beams, trying not to tease you.

“I’m fine.” You huff, shrugging his hands off your shoulders nonchalantly from where they touched your skin, feeling it tingle from where his fingers came in contact. You pretend not to notice. You feel a bit embarrassed.

“You gotta swing a little earlier,” Soobin encourages you, backing up swiftly before finding his spot against the fence again, “Focus on swinging as soon as it leaves the pitch so you’ll knock it as soon as it gets to you.”

You nod at his words, stabilizing your footing again before looking straight ahead again. You take another deep breath and grip the bat in your hands tightly, trying to do exactly as he told you. A beat passes and another ball is being shot towards you, causing your nerves to spike as soon as it gets closer.

You swing too soon.

You whine a bit as the fence behind you shakes, the force of the ball setting it out of balance as the sound echoes off it. Soobin is laughing now, finally moving back towards you before the next ball comes.

“Okay,” He starts, hands suddenly on your arms. Every nerve springs to attention where he touches, hyper aware of how he feels against you. You let out a soft sigh, hoping he can’t hear it.

“So you need to hold the bat up more.” He explains, fingers enclosing around yours as his front meets your back just slightly, helping you get your grip right. He gently taps your shoe with his, causing you to spread your stance again with a small, “Oh.”

“Now that your stance is good, twist your body. Not a lot, just slightly for your force.”

Soobin twists with you to the right, helping you stop just where you need to.

You wonder, suddenly, if he’s done this before. Not the baseball part, because obviously he has, but the flirting part. Helping other girls with their stances and so on. It’s a good move - practically a classic. You wouldn’t be that surprised if he’s done it before.

Soobin’s voice suddenly starts shaking, just slightly and almost unnoticed by you as his body comes in contact with yours a bit more when he speaks again, almost taken over by his nerves. The previous thought disappears instantly.

You realize now - he hasn’t.

“I- okay.” He says softly, “When the ball comes, wait until you know you’ll swing and hit it. You have to time it perfectly.” Soobin is patient with you, hands hesitating on yours longer than they need to before he steps back, taking all his warmth and scent with him. You miss him as soon as he steps away, before catching yourself. You remember that you need to focus.

“Okay.” You say, determined to hit the ball this time. You take another breath, your third ball is the final one, and you know you can’t miss now.

Mercilessly, the ball shoots from the machine with no time to spare, and you force yourself to wait - to time it and not swing too soon or too late. You force yourself to get it perfectly.

Crack!

The ball flies opposite from the direction it came. You’re barely able to focus on that though, because along with the metal in your hands sending a painful vibrating feeling through your hands from the force, your body still hasn’t registered that the ball is far gone. It still moves along with your arms, sending your feet out of balance again as you tip to the left as your balance falters.

The bat falls to the ground with a repeated clanking sound, but you barely notice. You notice Soobin’s presence again, only just a second too late as you trip over your footing, sending him down with you as your body throws his balance off as well.

“Oh shi-”

You’re unable to finish your sentence as you both slip, knees burning underneath you as your bodies come in contact with the artificial flooring and then each other, Soobin’s body already taking more of the impact than yours.

You can still feel his hands gripping your hips when the world stills, pain shooting through your left side intently.

It all happens so fast it’s almost impossible to know it even happened until it’s over, your body throbbing in pain as you realize what happened. Both your helmets lay next to the two of you, flipped upside down.

“Oh god.” Soobin suddenly groans from underneath you, taking a shaky breath.

“I’m so so-”

You finally meet his eyes, heart dropping at your current position.

Soobin is underneath you, eyes no longer covered by his glasses but closed tightly as his head rests against the floor, only inches from yours. Your bodies are pressed against eachother’s, limbs intertwined messily due to your fall.

You’re level when he finally opens his eyes, meeting yours.

All the words you had planned on saying are wiped from your mind when Soobin looks up at you.

“I...” You try again, finally realizing the intensity of all of this.

You see emotion flash in Soobin’s eyes when he realizes too - but he doesn’t move. His hands keep their place on your hips as you both breathe heavily, staring into the other’s eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Soobin says softly, even though it wasn’t his fault. Your eyebrows furrow as his soft breaths splay over your cheeks in light puffs. Soobin smells of mint, and your stomach flips at the softness of his tone.

“It was my fault.” You retort, aware of the feeling of his large body against yours. Every single cell in your body is screaming at the feeling, but you try and act unaffected. Soobin, on the other hand, doesn’t try as hard.

His eyes trail down from your eyes to your lips before moving back up, head tilting just slightly. It’s almost like Soobin is curious - just to see how you react to him like this. You feel the crackle of excitement and nerves find place in your stomach, and your cheeks heat up with a blush you know Soobin sees.

It’s all on him, you think. It’s his move.

After all, you aren’t bold enough to make the first move with Soobin. You think he knows this.

“Maybe we...” Soobin hesitates, eyes flashing with emotion, “Um- maybe we should move on from baseball. We both suck at it.”

And just like that, the moment is gone.

“Ah, yeah.” You cut through the silence, clearing your throat before your hands plant themselves on his shoulders, lifting yourself up and off of him. Soobin lets out a sigh as you move farther away, almost looking less nervous, and you pretend you don’t notice. Your knee burns at it comes in contact with the floor, but you ignore it and push up off it, regain your footing steadily again.

Your nerves die down, the feeling of hope stamped down in a cloud of smoke as Soobin stands up, brushing his hands on his jeans lightly before he leans to grab the bat abandoned a few feet away along with his, luckily, unharmed glasses. You know that the machine times out after three balls each so theres no need to worry about it going off again. The only worry in your mind is Soobin and how the two of you will interact after what just happened.

You don’t want to make it awkward, so you try your hardest not to.

“I hit it.” You speak up, hoping Soobin accepts the transition easily.

Relief floods your veins when he smiles over at you from the bat rack.

“I know, you hit it pretty hard too. You should try out for softball next season.”

Things slip back into their own rhythm as you two laugh, the moment gone but not forgotten as you meet back up near the exit and leave the batting cages after putting everything away, walking back into the main junction of the building to choose a new game. Your heart feels better when Soobin gives you his best smile, calming you down.

“So, basketball?” He asks, reaching in his back pocket for the small map provided when you two first came in displaying the location of every activity the company provides.

“Ooh, yes. I’m actually decent at basketball.” You nod, skipping slightly out of excitement as Soobin maneuvers you both around other people, holding onto your wrist gently again as he does so, not wanting to lose you in the process.

“We’ll see about that,” The corners of Soobin’s lips tilt up, “I was the captain of the basketball team last season.”

“You were also one of the best baseball players last season, but look what happened there,” You tease, reffering to him barely hitting the ball.

Soobin presses a hand to his chest to feign offense as you two finally step onto the joined court surrounded by slightly padded high walls and beams, and it makes you laugh. After a moment, you look around at your surroundings. Dozens of basketballs occupy each rack set up near the entrance, all in different colors, and the baskets are high on their beams on each side of the court. You aren’t that confident in your sport abilities, but you hope you are actually decent when it comes to this. You can only imagine how cocky Soobin will be if he wins. The thought itself makes you want to laugh again.

“So should we have a fair game, or just do free throws?” Soobin questions softly, already grabbing a bright green ball from the rack.

“You realize you’re like six fucking feet tall, right?” You ask Soobin incredulously. He snorts and then covers his mouth at your small outburst.

You laugh and continue, “We aren’t playing against each other. Let’s just see who gets to three points first and then go eat something?”

Your suggestion is met with a competitive Soobin speaking up suddenly.

“Okay, loser buys dinner.”

“This is a date, Soobin”

Soobin pouts at your words, and you have to hold back from smiling too wide.

“I mean if you want me to pay for dinner,” You backtrack, watching as Soobin retracts the idea immediately.

“Okay, nevermind, loser has to do rockclimbing and climb to the very top.”

You think about this for a moment before agreeing.

“Fine, loser rock climbs.”

Soobin is happy with this as he starts dribbling the ball excitedly, standing in place as he warms up a bit. You follow suit.

“How long have you played basketball for?” You ask him, not only wanting to know what you’re up against but also being curious about Soobin in general. The small talk up until now has been fairly basic, and you were ready to be a bit bold and ask Soobin some questions that have been on your mind.

“Around ten years.” He answers honestly, lifting the ball to spin it on one finger.

“Jesus, I played for one.” You say back, trying to do the same but failing miserably. Soobin blushes as he watches you scramble to grab the ball again, dimple showing.

“I’ll go easy on you, then.” He says. The words register deep in your stomach and you scoff at him, trying to appear normal. Soobin moves back to finally start the game, gesturing to the basket with his free hand.

“You can go first.” He says. You nod and bend your knees a bit, rolling your shoulders slightly to loosen up before raising the ball, preparing to shoot.

Soobin’s hand flashes in front of your view, acting like he is going to stop the ball before it even leaves your hands

“No cheating!” You laugh at him, moving farther away.

Soobin laughs loudly and it echoes off the gym walls, making you shake your head. You take a deep breath and sush him, going again.

The ball soars through the air and slams noisily against the backboard after you throw it with all the strength you can muster, but instead of going through the hoop it knocks off the rim and meets the court again, bouncing towards you. You grab it easily as a groan leaves your lips.

“I’m scared of heights.” You say to Soobin, hoping this gives him the idea to go easy on you. He shakes his head and hides the permanent grin that has been on his lips all night.

“Better get over that fear real soon, sweetheart.” Soobin throws the ball towards the basket, and it falls in easily after he does so. Soobin yells out what sounds like a mix of ‘woah’ and ‘yeah’, and raises his arms in triumph, almost as if he didn’t even expect himself to make it, before you’re protesting and moving to shove his arms down jokingly.

“That’s not even fair!” You’re laughing, shoving him with your shoulder as he pokes his finger against your ribcage. Soobin runs forward to grab his ball after it bounces closer, jogging over to be by your side again once he grabs it.

“This is a fair game.” Soobin chuckles before quieting himself down again.

You’re focusing on aiming when Soobin speaks up again.

“So can I ask you a question?” His voice is slightly more serious, and you shoot before answering, actually making a basket. You cheer loudly for yourself and run to get the ball, beaming at Soobin before you reply, “Yeah, what is it?”

“How come you’ve never talked to me before, except for that night in the library?” He asks carefully, curiosity lacing his words.

You ponder this as Soobin shoots, the ball bouncing off the backboard and across the hoop, not going in. He sweeps it into his hand as it bounces back easily, starting to dribble it again. You step back up to shoot, deciding to just be honest with him.

“Well, I obviously had seen you around and wanted to talk to you, but the situation never really called for it.”

“Until your friend left us alone together?” He asks with a knowing smile.

“Until my friend left us alone together.” You agree without meaning to, shaking your head and throwing the ball to the basket again. It bounces against the rim and miraculously goes in, earning an excited yell from you. When you look back at Soobin he’s already looking at you.

“What about you?” You ask him, “How come you never talked to me?”

Soobin blinks at you, tilting his head gently.

“I didn’t think you’d like someone like me.” He answers without hesitation before blindly throwing his shot, the ball going nowhere near the basket as it bounces off in the distance, loud against the wooden gym floor.

You open your mouth to speak as your brows furrow in confusion, but no words come out.

Soobin just gives you a soft smile, eyes never leaving yours.

“Looks like you win.”

Your leg bounces up and down anxiously as you sit at a small table in the food court, phone in hands as you await Yeonjun’s reply to the text you previously sent.

You know Soobin will be back with the food the he promised any minute now, and you took the chance to text Yeonjun as soon as he left, your nerves getting the better of you as soon as you had been left alone.

CALL ME ASAP. 911.

You’ll admit that your text is fairly on the dramatic side, but this was an emegency. You needed your best friend’s advice.

You jump in your seat slightly as soon as your phone vibrates and a selfie you took with Yeonjun appears on your screen, signifying his call. You slide your thumb over the answer button and press it to your ear quickly.

“Who’s ass do I have to kick?” Yeonjun says before even saying hello, calming your nerves immediately.

“No, dude, it’s nothing like that.” You speak down the speaker, looking around cautiously for Soobin. Yeonjun listens as you go on after a moment.

“We had a moment.” You explain, brushing some hair behind your ear with your finger slightly, “Like, a moment moment.”

“Well yeah,” Yeonjun says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “You two have insane chemistry. I’d be worried if you didn’t have a moment.”

You roll your eyes, “Junie, I’m serious.”

“So am I!” He goes on, “You two are soulmates after all, what more can I say?”

You groan and cover your face with your hands, “I just feel like I’m fucking it all up, especially because we almost kissed-”

“Woah, back the fuck up?” Yeonjun stops you, “You two almost kissed? Like, actually almost kissed?”

“What do you think a moment is, dumbass?” You ask him.

“Like a holding hands moment or a cute flirty moment, I didn’t think he would try fucking making out with you on date number one!”

“It wasn’t like he meant to- oh my god I can’t explain this right now. Problem is, what if I ruin it all?”

“You won’t. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

This shuts you up.

“In the library he couldn’t stop staring at you. And on campus when you think he isn’t looking at you because you’re too busy hiding? Yeah, he is.”

“So you didn’t think to tell me this, oh I don’t know, before I was a complete blubbering idiot in front of him?”

“It wouldn’t have made a difference, if anything it would have made you even worse in front of him.” You can hear your friend cackling.

Soobin rounds the corner a few feet away, food in hands, and your heart suddenly leaps up in your throat.

“Oh fuck, I gotta go, he’s coming back.”

“Wait, Y/N,-”

“Bye!” You snap, ending the call and shoving your phone back into your pocket, trying to look natural as Soobin finally reaches the table you’re at.

“So,” He says instead of a greeting, “They had these really cool drinks with food in these small trays in the lid? I’ve never seen it before and thought you’d like it. Anyway, I got us some. I think they’re chicken nuggets.” You make an impressed face as Soobin sets your meal in front of you, noticing that he got you one of each sauce since he didn’t know your favorite yet. You hold back a full blown smile as he settles into the seat across from you.

“Very cool, thank you.” You say, giving him a grateful smile. He smiles back and tears open his own sauce packet, starting to eat. You do the same.

“Is this the part of our date where we ask our deep questions?” Soobin asks around a mouthful of chicken, cheeks full. You take a sip of your drink before raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, is it?” Soobin scrunches his nose up at your reply before giggling, and you swear it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

“I think it’s gonna happen eventually. It may as well be now, since we have food here to comfort us if we make complete idiots out of ourselves.”

“You’re pretty confident in your idiocy.” You joke before taking a bite of your food, “But how do you know I’m the same?”

“You blush at a lot of the things I say.” Soobin answers, watching as your cheeks go red right after, “I know I’m able to make you nervous. And you’re like me, so when you get nervous you start rambling things out.”

You roll your eyes as if he’s wrong, but you know he’s spot on.

“Yeah well your lisp gets worse when you’re nervous.” You say back, trying to one up him. His eyes widen in surprise at you.

“So does yours.”

“Shut up.” You laugh, “I barely have one anymore.”

“You have one, and it’s adorable.” He answers before dipping his head down to take another bite of his food, hiding from you. You want to compliment his back, but instead decide to change the subject.

“Okay okay, let’s get into these deep questions you had in mind. You start.”

“It was my idea.” Soobin pouts, making you whine playfully at him. You laugh and then speak again.

“Fine, I’ll start. Ummm...” You take second to think before a question pops into your head, “What’s your major and why?”

Soobin perks up, “Not that deep but getting there. Was English but is now Communications. What’s yours?”

You were right about your assumption back in his dorm room and smile at his answer.

“Communications. Why’d you change from English?” You shoot back.

“Copycat,” He teases even though you had the major before him, “And I loved it, I just wanted a different type of job after awhile. I felt like English kind of restricted me to just one type of writing job, and I wanted to have a more creative career options in the future.”

You nod at his answer, agreeing completely. It seems you two were more alike than you thought.

“Okay your turn,” He says before taking another drink, awaiting your question. You make a face at him, “Uhhh no I already asked you.”

He shakes his head, “And I asked you your major.”

You glare, “You can’t bounce off my question and act like it’s yours too. Be creative, Soobin! Use those critical thinking skills of yours. Come on, wow me.” You’re teasing him, and he knows it. He’s shaking his head and chuckling as he thinks.

“Okay, fine. Tell me about one of your passions.”

You think about this for a second, eyes looking down at the table in thought before you answer, “Writing, probably. Reading doesn’t really count as a passion - it’s more of a hobby.”

Soobin looks pleased with your answer, nodding gently as you speak up again.

“Yours?”

“Nope, no bouncing off my question.” He says back smugly. You cover your face and laugh loudly, not even realizing your mistake.

“God, okay, tell me one of your hobbies.”

Soobin takes a drink and thinks about it for a few seconds.

“Maybe academics? I don’t know... I just... I like school,” He explains as he talks to you, “I just kind of do good because I’m a perfectionist. I have no choice there.”

You nod, urgining him to continue. He adds to this quickly.

“My passion is dancing, I think.” He says this quietly, almost like he’s shy about it. You’re surprised at this.

“Dancing?” You ask, unsure if you actually heard him right.

He nods silently, a deep crimson powdering over his cheeks as he does. You’re surprised, but somehow, it totally makes sense.

Soobin, although a jock, could be very unpredictable at times - and this was definitely one of those times. Dancing, you think. It’s impressive.

“You didn’t strike me as a dancer.” You say honestly, “Considering you do sports most of the time.”

Soobin nods, “I’m not the only guy on the football team who does dance, which is really great and, like, super progressive, but I’m the only one who does it as a hobby and not seriously. I don’t know if I could do it seriously, or even professionally.”

The only other dancer on the team you know is Mark, but you don’t say anything. You keep on listening as he speaks, fully interested.

“I dance with my friend Beomgyu who’s, like, killer at it. We use the practice studio late at night when our classes are all done. He’s a dance major so he gets to practice whenever he wants which is really convenient for us.”

You nod, “So how long have you been dancing?”

“Not long,” He answers honestly, “Maybe just over a year now. I don’t know, I’ve wanted to start for awhile but never did until just this year when I got the chance.”

“I think that’s really cool.” You smile at him finally, watching as his face lights up.

“Thank you, I try.”

You both talk for a little while longer, sharing dreams and hopes, and things you never thought you’d even tell eachother before finally finish your food and standing to throw away your trash. You can’t help but yawn a bit once you’re finally done, tiredness finally hitting you once you realize it’s well past 9 at night.

“Are you tired?” Soobin asks, hand suddenly running up and down your arm soothingly. You lean into him, nodding a bit, “It is getting late, but I still want to watch you do rock climbing.”

Soobin laughs, “I think it’s probably closed by now, but for one of our next dates we can come back and you can watch me break my leg while rock climbing.”

You ignore the way hope crawls up your body, knowing that Soobin wants a next time. You blush and nod softly, letting Soobin see that you’re fine with it before he leads you both to the exit, finally taking you back home.

The sky is clear as you both walk the short distance from Benny’s back to campus, and somehow, Soobin’s hand has entangled itself in yours as you two walk, gently rubbing circles on the outside of your palm as you two make small conversation. It feels so right - all of it. Your heart beats steadily in your chest as you walk through the cool night air with Soobin.

“-And that’s why I chose to move so far for college, I guess.” You finish what you were previously explaining, glancing over at a nodding Soobin.

“I think it’s brave that you moved so far away to achieve your goals. It’s admirable, really.”

You laugh gently at this, appreciating his words.

“I feel like-” Soobin hesitates, “Well... I don’t know, I feel comfortable like this.” He speaks up, looking at you as you two walk. A slight breeze blows, sending your hair in front of your face gently.

Soobin doesn’t hesitate to reach up and brush the few strands behind your ear, lips tugging up at the corners after.

“Me too.” You agree softly, finally spotting your dorms a few yards away, “I’ll be honest, I was really nervous for tonight.”

Soobin laughs, almost not believing you.

“So was I, but you shouldn’t have been, it’s just me.”

“I know,” You nod as the two of you reach the dorm’s entrance, “I just couldn’t help it, I guess.”

Soobin nods a final time, showing he understands before stopping in front of you. Even though the two of you are done walking, his hand still holds yours lightly, causing goosebumps to spread over your skin. You try to shake the feeling but can’t.

“So next time I’ll kick your butt at baseball.” Soobin jokes, eyes crinkling up cutely as you laugh.

“Okay, we’ll see about that.” You hide your face behind one hand, trying to cover up as you laugh at him. You don’t notice Soobin moving until your other hand is being pulled down away from your face, and is entwined in his.

“You’re pretty when you laugh.” Soobin says softly, sending butterflies loose in your stomach.

“I-,” He corrects himself, “I mean you’re pretty all the time, not just when you laugh.”

You giggle, “You’re pretty too.”

Soobin’s cheeks redden, like he’s never been praised for his looks before, and then his grin drops a bit.

His eyes are back to flashing down your face, to your lips, and you feel the tension start to rise again; the same feelings from earlier hitting you in what can only be described as a whirlwind of emotion.

You tilt your head just slightly, watching him. You don’t know what he’ll do next - or if he’ll even do anything - but part of you hope he does.

“I...” You start but your word hangs in the air as soon as Soobin steps closer, one hand loosening from yours to move up and cradle your face gently. His fingers are soft on your skin as you gaze into his soft eyes, breathing erratic.

“Is this... is this okay?” Soobin whispers, words almost lost in the nighttime breeze as he dips his head down, moving that much closer to you. His lips are inches from yours now, and your senses are heightened.

You just manage to nod before Soobin does the same, his other hand which is holding yours starting to shake. You glance down to make sure it’s not just you shaking, but your eyes flash back up when you realize it’s not.

You make it a rule to not kiss guys on the first date - but for the first time ever, you think it would be okay to break that rule.

Soobin’s breath is gentle on your skin as he lets out a soft sigh, voice coming out a few octaves deeper when he speaks again.

“Can I- would it be okay if I did something I should have done earlier?”

You’re nodding before you realize you are, and it’s like the whole world around you stops as Soobin nods in affirmation before slowly leaning in.

You feel the way your breath catches in your throat as soon as Soobin’s mouth slots against yours, and his soft lips press lightly against slightly parted ones. The kiss is gentle, and you two hardly move the whole time, scared that if one person does, the spell will be broken and real life will come crashing down around the two of you.

You feel yourself sigh when he momentarily pulls away, but his hand pulls you closer afterwards, surprising you by looping around your waist and bringing you firmly against him.

This kiss is better than the first.

Soobin’s hand is steady against your hip, and his thumb strokes your jaw lightly as he kisses you, teeth grazing your bottom lip as it deepens, evoking a deep sigh from you. You want to be closer to him - ironically, since you’re already as close as you can get - and you know he feels the same. His chest is rising and falling when you two finally detach, and his cheeks are pink. Soobin’s hands are still shaking.

You laugh lightly, unable to do anything else. Soobin does the same, both of you buzzing with nerves.

“I... okay.” He struggles for words, stepping back slightly, giving you space.

“Thank you... for tonight.” You clarify, moving to grab your keys from your jacket pocket. Soobin is already nodding.

“It’s no problem. Thank you for going.” You nod back, smiling again.

“I’ll call you, I promise.” Soobin adds, dimples appearing on both of his cheeks. Your heart warms at the sight.

“I’m looking forward to it.” You say, biting your lip as Soobin steps even farther away.

“Okay, I’ll see you, Y/N.” Soobin says sweetly, hands burying in his hoodie pockets before he walks backwards towards the sidewalk again.

“See you, Soobin.” You smile before finally going inside, heart pounding.

You close the door behind you, and with your heart soaring and one of the brightest smiles ever adorning your face, you make your way to your bedroom, unable to hide the excitement you have for the next time you’ll be able to see him.

Because that’s what Soobin does - you suddenly realize.

He gets under people’s skin, and he brings light into them.

Your heart thumps loudly in your chest as you finally enter your room, closing the door behind you.

Soobin had gotten in just a little bit tonight, and had started to let some of the light into you. And after everything that had happened - you were letting him.

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