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#what the hell am i supposed to do with cans of random ass beans and pork when i don't like either of those things
pafsplayground · 1 year
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Cut for food stuff and probably not healthy eating habits
All I've eaten in the past two days is:
2 oatmeal cream pies
Not even a full sleeve of one of those little sleeves of Ritz crackers
Several cans of the off brand soda Doctor Thunder
A single bottle of water (working on a second)
Some sour gummy worms
A Ghirardelli caramel square
Two servings of chicken fries from Burger King
A single (fairly long) french fry from Burger King
A packet of ramen at 8 in the morning yesterday
Some sweetarts
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whiteqnn · 3 years
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PURE [3] - Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader
A/N: Over 1 thousand notes. You guys are insane. I can’t see any other explanation.
Thank you so much for all the love and support under the previous parts, all those comments just absolutely made my day! I would never expect this story to receive such a positive feedback, which I’m extremely grateful for! 
Anyway, I decided to add some additional plot to this story - mainly, the sudden criticism and hate directed on Y/N after the last Among Us stream. I thought it would make things more interesting.
That being said, I hope you enjoy the third part ^^
part 1
part 2 
part 4 
part 5
PURE [3]
Y/N stared at her phone screen, reading through the latest tweets of her friends inviting their fans to watch their streams. It was Thursday evening and just as it was planned, everyone was getting ready for another game of Among Us. Just as she would do if it wasn’t for all those comments...
The last stream caused sudden, unexpected amounts of attention on her social media. She probably shouldn’t be that surprised by it, given the fact that by appearing in Sean’s and Felix’s videos she wasn’t all that strange to their fans. But people who watched Rae, Toast, or Corpse’s streams didn’t know her. And apparently, some of them weren’t that happy to see a new face among the group of well-known gamers. 
She always tried to avoid the unnecessary spotlight as much as she could, preferring to stay hidden somewhere behind other, much more popular streamers. And it never bothered her. She was never one to enjoy too much attention anyway.
That’s why when she discovered how upset, or even angry, some people were when she played with all those famous streamers, she was quite shocked, to say the least. 
Like all those comments under Poki’s tweet, in which she mentioned who’s gonna be playing this time...
“Duh, why’s that Y/N chick supposed to play with them again? There are at least hundreds of other, much more popular streamers I can think of who would be better than her.”
“Who the fuck is she anyway? Why’s she there?”
“lmao, some random girl who got lucky enough to know jacksepticeye. Don’t get why she’s playing with them though.”
“NOT HER AGAIN. I SWEAR TO GOD SHE WAS SO FUCKING ANNOYING LAST TIME”
Sure, she wasn’t as famous as Felix, or Sean, or Rae, or anyone else for that matter. Her audience wasn’t very small, but it was nothing compared to the number of fans other YouTubers had. It was understandable that most people didn’t know who she was, and didn’t understand why she was there in the first place.
She was, in fact, just some random girl who was lucky to have Sean as her friend. But in a group of such great and well-known streamers, she definitely stood out like a sore thumb. 
Y/N almost jumped in her seat when her phone beeped with a new message, Sean’s nickname showing up at the top of her screen. 
Jackaboy: We’re starting in a few kiddo
Jackaboy: But join the call now so we can both make fun of Felix
After the last game, she was so excited and couldn’t wait for this evening. She looked forward to cooperating with Sykkuno again, to arguing with Toast, to laughing with Sean and Felix, to murdering other people with Corpse... Yet now, all this excitement seemed to vanish just like the mood to play, let alone talk with other people. They would surely see right through her and try to make her spill the beans, which would ruin the stream. And the last thing she wanted was to ruin their game.
Jackaboy: You there Y/N??
She sighed, thinking of some believable excuse that wouldn’t arouse suspicion, but her mind was flooded with all those comments and DMs she received over those past days, which expressed nothing but hatred towards her. 
Y/N: I’m really sorry Sean, but I don’t think I will be joining you today... I don’t feel very well. 
She waited for Sean’s reply impatiently, expecting him to send her some angry emoji or tell her to move her ass and join the discord call. What she didn’t expect though, was that he would facetime her. 
Her first instinct was to throw her phone across the room as if it would make Sean stop calling. He wouldn’t stop unless she’d tell him the truth. 
So she cleared her throat and plastered the widest smile on her face, before answering his call.
“Alright, what is going on?” Sean asked right away, staring at her with his brows furrowed. He wasn’t in his recording room, but in his kitchen, which meant that he left his stream to call her. “And please don’t tell me you’re sick cause I won’t believe it anyway. And neither will Pewds.”
“I’m tired, Sean... I was working late again and I really need to rest.” she lied, trying to keep her voice steady and calm. She really didn’t want Sean to interrogate her now, not when his fans were waiting for him. “I’m sure you’ll find someone else though. Please tell the guys that I’m sorry”
“Y/N, c’mon, cut this bullshit. What’s wrong?” he asked softly, moving his phone closer to his face. “You know you’re a terrible liar, just tell me what happened. If you don’t wanna play then neither do I.”
“Sean, please don’t do it” she shook her head with a sigh. ��Your fans are waiting for you, I’ll be fine.”
“Well they’re waiting for you too you dummy, I already promised them you’ll be playing with us tonight” he stated matter of factly, rolling his eyes. Y/N remained silent for a moment, and Sean suddenly furrowed his brows, narrowing his eyes at her in a suspicious look. “Did someone tell you something rude last time we played? Who and what?”
“What? No, Sean, oh my God. Everyone was super nice, it has nothing to do with the last stream... not with you guys, at least.” she mumbled under her breath, dropping her eyes from Sean’s confused face.
“What do you mean not with you guys? Y/N, what the hell happened?” he demanded, slowly getting more and more worried. She wouldn’t tell him though, too scared that Sean would just laugh it off, even though he also sometimes had problems with dealing with hate. And just as if he was reading her mind, Sean sighed, his face softening in a sad smile. “You’ve read the comments, didn’t you?”
She felt so stupid for being so easily offended by comments of some random people on the Internet, that she just nodded her head meekly, still looking anywhere but at the man. 
“Look kiddo... I’m not gonna tell you to get yourself together and just ignore them, cause it won’t help, and I know cause I’ve been there. Hell, I’m still there.” he chuckled to himself and continued “Anyway, you really shouldn’t be worrying yourself about people who don’t even know you. They don’t know you, Y/N, why would some complete stranger’s opinion matter to you?”
“They said I shouldn’t be playing with you guys... that I’m nothing but a burden and you should be playing with someone who’s at least recognizable.”
“Well excuse me Miss, last time I checked I could choose who the fuck I want to play with.” Sean scoffed, clearly irritated by such comments “You’re one of my best friends Y/N and I don’t give a fuck what some haters say. And neither should you.”
“Maybe you should just invite someone else... It would make everyone happy.” she muttered almost inaudibly, but Sean almost barked at her when he heard her words.
“I told you to cut that bullshit, Y/N! Everyone couldn’t wait for this game and now you wanna back out? C’mon, kid. Do you have any idea how heartbroken Sykkuno’s gonna be? When you left so quickly last time, he kept complaining that he has no one to team up with.” she couldn’t help but smile at that, letting out a tiny giggle. “And Corpse? Have you even seen his last tweet?”
“What? No, I- I don’t follow him...” she said, wondering what Sean was talking about. She quickly searched for Corpse on Twitter, still being on facetime with Sean, and her heart almost dropped when she saw the last tweet.
@.Corpse_Husband Really excited for tonight’s Among Us stream, 8PM PST.
Jacksepticeye
Valkyrae
Pewdiepie
Pokimane
Sykkuno
Disguised Toast 
Logic 
Mr Beast
and, hopefully, my partner in crime - Little Y/N 
:)
She stared at the screen with her eyes widened, and her lips corners curling up in a small, bashful smile. It was so nice of Corpse to mention her as well, especially with the nickname that he seemed to like so much since their last game. 
“God, if you could see yourself right now. How’s it that my pep talk didn’t do shit, but Corpse’s tweet magically made you smile, ugh.” Sean reminded her of his presence, and she quickly returned to the call, trying to somehow control her burning cheeks. 
“It’s not like that, Sean, I really appreciate that you’re trying to cheer me up... I just didn’t expect your friends to like me...” she admitted quietly, and if Sean could, he would probably strangle her at that moment. 
“I JUST TOLD YOU THAT SYKKUNO KEPT BUGGING ME ABOUT YOU FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS. YOU THINK HE WOULD TALK ABOUT YOU IF HE DIDN’T LIKE YOU?!”
“I just... what if they’re just being nice, but they don’t actually want me to play with them?”
“I’m done.” Sean groaned, shaking his head furiously. “Alright, here’s what you’re gonna do. You stay away from your phone, join the discord call, say hi to everyone, and we’re all gonna have fun, okay? If not, Pewds is gonna murder you, cause he was already growing impatient even before I called you.”
“I’m still not sure if that’s a good idea, Sean...”
“But I am sure, Y/N! Now come on, we’re playing in five. I’m telling everyone you’re joining as well.”
And before she could even reply, he hung up. Y/N groaned, rushing to her computer to turn it on. Now it would just be plain rude not to join the game, especially after Sean wasted his time talking with her, while he should be talking to his fans. Just as he suggested, she kept her phone far away from her desk, deciding to stay away from Twitter and all those comments for a bit. Maybe it would help her clear her mind and at least try to have some fun. 
An invite to the group call was already waiting for her, along with a message from Sean with a code to the game. Y/N put her headphones on before joining the call and quickly typing in the code. 
“... so let me repeat myself. I ALWAYS sound guilty, no matter what. Please, guys, don’t vote me out!” 
Y/N shook her head with a smile on her lips when the first thing she heard after joining the call was Felix’s pleading voice. Clearly, he was already trying to save his own ass even before the game began.
 Y/N could hear Sean’s loud voice as he commented on Felix’s plea with some snarky remark, later also catching the sounds of Rae’s laughter. Everyone was already there, they’ve been clearly waiting for her to join. 
“Hey, look who’s finally here! Hi Y/N!” Poki noticed her presence first. 
“Hello everyone” Y/N said, as shy and quiet as usual.
“Oh, Y/N! It’s so great to see you again, I was worried you weren’t joining us tonight” Sykkuno said, a pout clear in his voice. 
“WELL ABOUT DAMN TIME” Felix all but yelled, making her roll her eyes with a smile. “What did I tell you about being late?!”
“Give her a break Felix, her mic wasn’t working again... Luckily, I was there to save the damsel in distress” Sean said, and even though she couldn’t see him, Y/N was almost certain that he was smirking. 
“Yeah, I’m really sorry guys to have kept you waiting so long...” Y/N said, feeling genuinely bad. Maybe Sean was right after all? They could have just invited someone else, and yet they decided to wait for her.  
“It’s okay, you’re here now and it’s all that matters” a deep voice sounded out, and whether she liked it or not, Y/N grinned like an idiot with a blush rising up her cheeks. 
“Shit, here we go again...” Felix sighed, making everyone else laugh. Y/N bit at her lower lip, feeling her heart thump in her chest as she felt a sudden wave of courage, deciding to speak up despite her initial shyness:
“Well... I couldn’t just leave my partner in crime alone, right?” she asked, and she could swear she heard Corpse stutter as if he completely didn’t expect her to say that.  
“Ah yes, after all, killing wouldn’t be the same without her, right Corpse?” Toast teased, repeating Corpse’s words from the last stream. Everyone in the call laughed, Y/N included. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling, even though just mere minutes ago she was on the verge of crying. “It’s good to have you here, Y/N/N. Maybe I’ll actually get a chance to finally kill you this time.”
“Jesus Christ, Toast. You sound like a psychopath. Hey, I’m happy you’re here, lemme stab you in the back, please?” someone whose nickname was MrBeast spoke up with a chuckle, before directing his next words to Y/N “I believe we haven’t played together before, I’m Mr Beast, it’s really nice to meet you Y/N”
“Yeah, pleased to meet you!” another player, Logic, spoke up “I also didn’t have a chance to play with you yet, but I’ve seen Sean’s last stream... Let me just say, that Toast murder was absolutely perfect!” 
“Wow. And here I almost managed to block it out. I’m fucking traumatized Y/N, you should be ashamed of yourself” Toast scoffed over Felix’s laughter. 
“You should be proud of yourself!” Sean interfered “Just so you know lads, Y/N may seem like a little angel, but she’s a little demon. You’ve been warned.” 
“Yeah, she’ll charm you with her voice only to snap your neck next second.” Felix scoffed.
“Just like she did with Corpse!” 
“Charm?!” Y/N gasped, her cheeks burning.
“I don’t recall Y/N killing me...” Corpse said in his low voice. 
“I love how that’s the only thing he denied” Poki pointed out in a teasing voice, which only made Y/N sink further into her chair. 
“Can we please start the game now?” she asked in a pleading voice, hoping that everyone would stop making fun of Corpse and her. She could only imagine how uncomfortable he felt, for some reason being the target of their jokes... They must’ve made him feel awkward, right? 
“Jack, did you tell Y/N how we’re playing tonight?” Sykkuno asked, and she sighed in relief that they dropped the jokes. 
“Oh, right! So there’s this mod called proximity chat, where we’re able to hear each other as we pass by another person, and it seems quite fun so that’s what we decided to try out tonight.” Sean explained to Y/N, and before she could ask another question, he added “I’ve just sent you the link, it’ll take a minute to install it.”
“Oh, okay. Thank you Sean” Y/N said, before downloading the mod and quickly installing it. When everything was set and ready, she pulled up Among Us again and typed in the code, and the game finally began. 
“Woah”
“Holy shit!” 
“Guys this is so cool!” Sykkuno exclaimed, his voice so happy and excited that Y/N couldn’t help but giggle. 
“Okay, I’m scared now. I feel like encounters with Imposter are just gonna be perfectly cut screams” Felix chuckled, as they left the dropship and moved down the map. That’s when Y/N gasped in surprise, upon seeing the locations completely different than those she was used to.
“Wait- is that a different map?” she asked through her mic, hearing Toast’s distanced, devilish laugh. There was only Rae and Sykkuno beside her, as everyone else have already split up to do their tasks.
“Oh yeah, that’s Polus, it’s much more fun than the one we were playing in last time.” Rae explained happily and Y/N groaned. She didn’t know that map.
“Great. I don’t even know how am I supposed to do tasks in here...”
“Oh, it’s not that hard. They’re in most cases similar to those you already know, they only look a little bit different.” Sykkuno said in his kind voice, before asking “Do you want to team up again, Y/N?”
“I thought you would never ask Sykkuno” Rae chuckled under her breath.
“Yeah, that would be great! I need someone to show me around” she smiled. The trio finally moved from their spot beside the dropship and went to the left where, as Y/N later realized, was electrical. She quickly did her task in there, being under the watchful eyes of both Sykkuno and Rae.  
Before the latter could do his own task, the first body was reported.
“The body is in the lab” Felix said, and Y/N couldn’t help but smirk as she saw that it was Toast who was murdered first. One less person to accuse her or try to frame her, if he was the Imposter. 
“I just ran towards the lab from the left side, I only saw Poki on my way there” Corpse said right away, and the accused girl was quick to try and defend herself:
“Okay, I wasn’t in the lab, I was doing that engines task which is next to the lab.” 
“Did you see someone else there?” Jack questioned. 
“Nope, just me and the engines.” 
“Okay. Sykkuno, where are you?” the lime astronaut was next on Jack’s list of suspects, which made Sykkuno groan. 
“Why do you sound so suspicious right away?” he asked in disbelief, causing the rest to giggle “I was with Y/N and Rae all this time, we were all doing our tasks in electrical.”
“Is that true Y/N?”
“Yes Sean, that is true” she rolled her eyes with a laugh “I don’t even know this map, I have to stick with someone so I don’t end up like Toast.”
“Alright, what about rest? Logic? I think I saw you in admin but then you disappeared somewhere.” Felix said.
“Yeah I’m with Mr Beast in the office”
“That’s right” Mr Beast confirmed, which didn’t bring anything new to the investigation, so everyone decided to skip.
“Wo- Okay where are we now?” Y/N asked in surprise, when the new round began in some completely new place Sykkuno didn’t manage to show her yet. She could hear as Corpse laughed at her shocked voice, which made her smile widely.
“Yeah, I’m also not used to this new map yet” he admitted, his black astronaut walking up to her white one “Hey, wanna see something cool?”
“Sure!”
-
*Meanwhile Sykkuno*
“Okay this is bad guys, we lost Y/N” Sykkuno said to his mic, running around the map to find the girl he was earlier teamed up with. “I thought she followed us when the new round began, but she must’ve gone the other way... What if she’s dead already? Not good, not good...” 
-
"Woah! This looks amazing! Is there some task here as well?”
“Yes, there’s temperature recording right here” Corpse said, standing by the lava pit, watching as Y/N’s character ran back and forth over the pool of lava. 
“I wonder if you could jump into it. What do you think, Corpse?” she asked curiously, standing close to the edge. 
“Not that I’m aware of it...” he mumbled coming closer to the edge as well “Why would you jump into it?” he asked with a half-smile on his face. 
“So Felix can’t stab me in the back.” she whispered, even though there was no one around them. 
“You think it’s him?” Corpse mirrored her voice, and she hummed in response “Why?”
“He’s constantly suspicious of everyone, last time we played he also kept interrogating us all, without even telling his own location.” she stated as if it was very obvious. Corpse couldn’t help but let out a laugh “What? Why are you laughing at me?”
“Not at you, Y/N. I’m just impressed by your investigation skills” he admitted “In that case, we better both jump in. Felix likes to frame other people.”
“You wanna jump into the lava with me?”
“Sure I do.”
“There you are!” Sykkuno’s lime astronaut came out of nowhere, followed by Mr Beast. Two of them walked up to Y/N and Corpse, and before the latter could even say anything, Mr Beast snapped Y/N’s neck.
“WAIT, NO-”
“OH GOD, OH GOD” Sykkuno yelled in panic.
“KILL HIM CORPSE” Mr Beast screamed, frantically running around.
-
“What the heck?” Y/N stared at her screen in shock, her dead body laying over the lava pit. Mr Beast had already fled to the left, leaving her, Sykkuno and Corpse standing between two of them. None of them said anything for a moment before the black astronaut finally spoke up.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N” he kept repeating, regret clear in his voice. “And Sykkuno, I- I can’t even express how-”
He was cut off by Felix’s scream, who reported the bodies before Corpse could kill him as well.
“IT’S CORPSE ALRIGHT” Felix yelled right away “HE’S STANDING OVER Y/N AND SYKKUNO, HE HAS THEIR BLOOD ON HIS HANDS”
“That is- I did not kill them” Corpse replied, calm as ever, as opposed to his frantic apologies. 
“Then why were you standing there?! Without reporting the bodies?!”
“I was... mourning their death.” he replied, which caused the whole group to burst out laughing. “Seriously guys, you think I would murder Sykkuno? And Y/N? I would never even think of hurting them.”
“The simp is strong, we get it, but it doesn’t really save your situation” Rae laughed. 
“Let’s kick him out guys, he can’t even defend himself” Sean chuckled, and everyone else didn’t need to be told twice. Soon enough, Y/N watched as Corpse’s black astronaut was thrown into the lava pit... Oh, the irony...
The game continued with her wandering around the map, doing the rest of her tasks to at least support somehow her fellow crewmates. She stumbled upon Corpse’s ghost at some point and laughed wholeheartedly when he started circling her little character in something she read as an attempt to apologize. 
A little while later another body was reported, this time it was Felix who lost his life. Y/N didn’t really focus on the conversation this time, glancing at her phone instead. There was this urge to reach for it and check how people reacted to her joining the game, but she kept repeating Sean’s words in her head. There was no point in worrying about the opinion of somebody who doesn’t even know her... or at least that’s what she tried to convince herself to think. 
Her attention was brought back to the game when she heard the sound of a new message from someone who was also dead. She clicked on the chat, seeing that it was one of the Impostors.
Corpse: :(
Corpse: I’m sorry 
Y/N thought it was sweet of him to apologize for it, even though it was his main goal to murder everyone after all. She believed he was genuinely sorry for it, just like she was each time she was an Impostor and had to kill somebody.
Sykkuno: Welcome to the afterlife, Corpse!
She laughed at Sykkuno’s constant happiness, which was evident even in his messages, before typing one as well:
Y/N: We’re all corpse here
Sykkuno: Oh, so it means we’re all really cool then ^^
Y/N: Fair point
Corpse: See Y/N
Corpse: I told you I would jump into the lava for you 
Y/N: You didn’t exactly jump...
Corpse: :(
Y/N: But let’s say it counts as well :)
Corpse: :)
Before they knew, the voting ended. Mr Beast was thrown into the lava, which ultimately lead to the victory of crewmates. Y/N cheered happily, when the blue sign appeared on her screen, right above everyone else who was innocent. 
“Yaaay, the first time I wasn’t killed in the first game!” Sean announced enthusiastically, his astronaut running around the dropship.
“Yeah, and the first time it went so fast...” 
“Right? Corpse, I’m disappointed in you. What happened to the King of Impostors?” Rae asked.
“Well.. no matter how good you are, you can’t always win, right?” Corpse replied calmly.
“Hmm, you seemed kinda absent-minded during the game, though...” Poki suggested with a smirk hiding in her voice, and Rae was very quick to pick on it.
“Oh, you’ve noticed that too? Almost as if he was distracted by something” 
“I don’t know what are you talking about” he chuckled nervously, and Y/N just sat in her chair confused about what was going on. “Anyway, who’s up for another round?” 
“Yeah, I have an idea” Sean said, effectively shutting everyone up “What if we play something along the lines of hide and seek? Let’s have one impostor, and everyone else needs to get their tasks done before he finds them.”
“That is...” Felix took in a dramatic breath “THE BEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD ABOUT”
“Yeah, I think it will be fun” Sykkuno replied. 
“It sounds really cool, but let’s maybe tell who’s the impostor? I think it would be more fair” Rae suggested. 
“I think it’s a good idea” Sean concluded, before changing the settings for one impostor only. Y/N waited patiently for the game to begin, and when she saw that she was a crewmate again, she sighed in relief. Only to gasp in a panic a second later...
“It’s me.”
Everyone stumbled out of the dropship as Corpse admitted that he’s the impostor. It seemed that knowing exactly who can murder everyone made the whole game a little bit terrifying...
“I don’t know where the heck I’m going” Y/N mumbled to herself with a nervous laugh when instead of doing her tasks, she searched for the perfect place to hide. When she entered security, she spotted Mr Beast fixing the wires, so she decided to join him.
“OH SHIT- god damn it, you scared me to death!” he all but yelled when she appeared next to him, doing her tasks. 
“Sorry” she giggled, quickly finishing the wires, before speeding out of the room. On her way to weapons, she stumbled across Felix’s dead body, and could hear some screaming in the background... but didn’t recognize who was murdered next. 
Y/N managed to do most of her tasks without meeting Corpse, whom she hoped not to see probably for the first time since they played together. She was just leaving decontamination when she heard Sean’s panicked laughter:
“...tee, bitches love me?”
“Wrong.” Corpse’s voice almost made her squeak in surprise, only to really scream when he suddenly snapped Sean’s neck. 
“Retreat, retreat!” Y/N laughed as she sped past oblivious Rae and Logic, Corpse hot on her tail. She quickly returned to the decontamination room, hoping to flee from her inevitable death, when Corpse’s black astronaut walked in, and the door closed. 
“Please don’t kill me” she chuckled, even though there was no hope for her. 
“Finish my lyrics, and I’ll let you live...” he began, and Y/N furrowed her brows in confusion “ I spilt wine...”
“Wait- what lyrics? You sing?” she asked, completely dumbfounded. Corpse was silent for a moment as if he didn’t understand her, before bursting out laughing “What’s so funny again? Corpse, come on!” 
“Yes, Y/N, I do sing, I was actually hoping you’ve heard some of my songs...” he admitted, still chuckling to himself. She felt a blush rising up her cheeks.
“Oh- I- I didn’t, I-... but I will, okay? I’ll do it right away!” she promised, quickly jumping up to grab her phone and listen to Corpse’s song. She was genuinely shocked, she would never expect him to sing! 
 She unlocked her phone with a wide, somehow nervous smile on her face, which, however, dropped the moment she saw her notifications. Hundreds of notifications. 
“You there, Y/N?” Corpse’s voice reached her after a moment, when she still didn’t say anything, just kept looking at her screen. “I hope my music isn’t so bad that you passed out from listening to it...”
She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, her phone gripped tightly in her shaking hands.
“Um, Y/N?” his voice became more worried now “Is everything okay?” 
Y/N cleared her throat and quickly wiped her eyes, closing them for a moment to steady her breathing.
“Yeah, all good Corpse” she forced herself to smile, so her voice wouldn’t sound weird. “Look, um, I need to leave, can you tell the others bye from me?” 
“Is something wrong?” Corpse asked confused.
“No, of course not!” she laughed through her tears “Something just came up and I really need to leave.”
“You sure you’re-”
“Bye Corpse. It was nice playing with you.” 
-
A/N: I hope you guys are not too disappointed in me... It didn’t turn out as I initially thought it would. Isn’t it too dramatic? And is this hate plot fine? Or is it not? What do guys you think? 
TAG LIST IS CLOSED!
@slytherin-chan @pillowjj @afuckingunicornn @love-and-virtues @ignooynim @crapimahuman @hannahjsworld @laugh-like-the-moon @fallengoddess772 @kingric03 @dolphinpink310 @paigeyisme @bunnychano3o @dxrtygxrl28 @z-nyx @baby-iyania @trashygeek
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enmy-writes · 3 years
Text
My Rock Star
Request: Anon: hii can i request a zuko x reader fic where the reader is in a famous girl group (like blackpink for example) & the whole gaang is backstage while the reader is getting ready for a performance & its just super fluffy & cute? Thanks!!
Word Count: 2,646
Fandom: ATLA (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Pairing: Zuko x Fem!Reader
Genre: All fluff. It’s some nice fluff time
Rated: 18+
Content Warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse (not detailed though), suggested themes but nothing bad
****My first request!! Sorry, anon, if I didn’t capture everything you wanted, but I hope it is! I am a sucker for music and bands, and instead of a blackpink approach, I gave the band instruments because I simp for instruments lol I might do a part 2 if this turns out well so lmk! Also, I learned how to make the “keep reading” line show up so that’s exciting yay me. Enjoy :)****
_______________________________________________________________________
It was about two hours before the show was supposed to start and Y/N was doing her normal self-routine before she had to go to her ‘Band-Team-Gang’ (or BTG as her and the girls liked to call it) pre-show rituals. 
Y/N was a part of a famous girl group who had just recently started making it big in Ba Sing Se and were on their first huge tour. Normally, this would make any performer nervous of the attention and putting on a big show, but this was the environment that she thrived in. 
Suki, Mai, Ty Lee, Azula, Yue, and herself all knew each other from an all-girl’s private school that they grew up in together and bonded immediately over their love for creating music. It was inevitable for them to become a group. 
They spent most of their high school days writing songs and joking around in Y/N’s backyard bungalow her parents had gotten her for her twelfth birthday. To this day, they still go back there and do hot (dumb) girl shit.
“Why would we stop? That’s our home, of course we’d still go back there!” Ty Lee answered the interviewer with her signature hair flip and giggle. 
Azula rolled her eyes at the girl, hiding a fond smile. “At this point, It’d be weird not to go back to that little corner of hell we made.” Yue smacked her arm quickly, “Azula! Don’t act like you haven’t written most of our top hits in the bean bag we definitely didn’t steal from the school lounge.” 
The rest of the girls laughed, remembering how they had to hop the gates and sneak past the night guards to be able to get the bean bag. The plan would’ve been a total waste of time and definitely would have gotten them all expelled if anyone had caught them, but thank Mai’s ability to pick locks (which no one knows where she learned to do but they do not question it). 
“Plus,” Suki chimed in. “Y/N’s dad makes the best snacks and meals for us. It’d be a federal crime to not take up that offer for as long as we can.”
Needless to say, the six girls were so comfortable with each other that every performance was just like every group practice with, like, thousands of extra guests of honor. They even have a couch lounge area as part of their stage set props. It just makes sense.
Even though those were her best friends ever, sisters even, Y/N had another friend group that she was super close with. Azula had introduced Y/N to her brother, Zuko, back when they were in their sophomore year of high school and the two instantly clicked. It had only taken a year of being friends and hiding crushes for them to get together, and the two were still going strong. Through him, Y/N met a gang of (crazy) people that he had spent his whole public schooling years.
Aang, an enthusiastic and bald, vegan kid who loved life and enjoyed everything around him; Katara, his pre-med and feminist girlfriend; Sokka, her hilarious and amazingly smart brother (though, sometimes his ideas are questionable); and Toph, a blind and tough girl who is on her way to ruin the top 1%. With Zuko, they were the tightest and happiest little family that automatically accepted Y/N when Zuko brought her over one night. 
She was there when he went through a pyromaniac phase, his varying hair styles, and when he tried to get his father’s love back.Ozai, their father, was the owner and CEO of a massive weapons corporation. He had burned Zuko’s face on a hot stove and kicked him out of the house for suggesting that he raise the wage of all his employees to a comfortable living wage because many of his employees struggled to provide for their families even though they worked their asses off. Thankfully, his kind Uncle Iroh instantly picked the boy up off of the streets, letting him live with him and run his successful tea shop called the Jasmine Dragon. 
Azula had been shoved away by her father mostly for sexist reasons. Ozai would never pass his company down to his daughter, no matter how smart and dedicated she was. He threw her in the private school where she lived year round. She had never told Y/N or any of the other girl’s any of this, Y/N had found out through Zuko.
Y/N’s mother was a successful lawyer and her father was a district attorney who were very very passionate about bringing justice to those of racial discrimination, domestic abuse, abuse in general, and orphan rights. Her mother was an orphan who was plain lucky to get adopted by a loving old couple who used their life savings to get her the education and life she deserved while her father was a victim of domestic abuse. 
So, after months of convincing Zuko, Y/N told her parents about the two siblings. Long story short, they got Ozai arrested for his abuse crimes, bribery history, employee mistreatment, and many more crimes. They also adopted Azula herself and gave full custody of Zuko to his uncle. 
Since then, the world has been peaceful for the group. Azula has started to recover from her trauma with the help of her friends, therapy, and love from two caring adults; and Zuko was glowing year round in the company of his uncle and friends. 
A smile forms on her face, thinking of her large family and all they’ve gone through to get here, when the door to her personal backstage room opened up. The loud voices from Aang and Sokka met her ears next. 
“I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU REMEMBERED THE HAM SANDWICHES WITH NO CRUST.” A kiss to her cheek and Sokka is instantly at her snack table.
“Y/N! How’d you know I was going to bring Appa and Momo?!” Aang walked his huge, white dog and lemur (don’t ask how he has it. It might be illegal, but no one can tell him no) to the pet bed corner she had put in. 
Not answering them, Y/N just smiles at her friends who barged in and turns back to her mirror where she’s trying to decide her earring combination for the day. Warm arms snake their way around her waist, a body sliding up against her back soon after. 
“What’s your ideas for tonight?” Zuko’s voice speaks quietly into her ear, causing her to hum and lean back against his chest slightly. 
“I’m not sure. We’re going for the edgy look tonight, but we all know Ty Lee is still going to wear pink. Man, our manager is going to kill her...again.” They both laugh. “Ugh, why did you let me pierce my ears, like, ten times. There’s too many combinations to choose from!”
“Me?! I did-- never mind. Just grab a handful, no one can see them from the stage anyways.” Despite his attempt to seem like he doesn’t care, one of his ring-clad fingers starts moving his favorite pieces over into a little pile by themselves. Y/N rolls her eyes and starts putting his choices in random holes in her ear, pushing him back lightly so she can bend over closer to the mirror to see better. 
“It’s the fit Zu… if the fit is a vibe, the confidence is there. If the confidence is there, nothing can stop my hot girl shit.” Her words cause him to let a huff of jealousy, flicking her arm playfully. 
Their eyes meet in the mirror, and he can clearly see the mischief in them. Calming down, he jokes back. “Yeah, well, you may do your ‘hot girl shit,’ but no one can steal you from me. We’ve been here too long.”
Toph cuts in from across the room with a loud laugh. “Please, fire brains, I could steal Y/N if I tried.” 
He whips around to face the short girl, “No you could not!!” 
“Actually, she makes a point.” Katara says, nodding along in hopes to pick fun at the boy. 
Sokka adds his two cents. “Honestly. Toph would just have to pick Y/N up and slam her against the wall or something and she’d tell her manager to send you a letter of resignation.” 
The whole group laughs, save for the angsty boy, and Y/N wraps her hand around his wrist. She pulls him towards her and reaches for a peck on the cheek. “While that may be true,” she gets a glare. “I’m too big of a simp for you… and Uncle Iroh’s dinner and game nights.”
While the rest of them laugh, Zuko’s eyes soften and he presses his lips to hers in a short, soft kiss. Uncle Iroh adores his girlfriend and everything she has done for Zuko and Azula where he had no power to do anything. The man calls her more than he does Zuko himself, and he’s pretty sure Y/N convinced him to download Words With Friends on his phone to play with her for when she can’t make it to the weekly game night dates. 
Y/N smiles up at him and pats his cheeks lovingly before moving to the wardrobe area of her room. She pulls out ‘Cards Against Humanity’ from a duffle bag on the floor before joining the rest of her friends around the lounge area, patting the seat beside her for Zuko to join them.
Everyone cheers at the sight of the black and white box with the many expansion packs that they have collected over the years. While Katara deals, everyone else makes bets on who is going to win this time. Y/N slides back into Zuko’s side as his arm comes to rest around her shoulders, playing with the ends of her H/L hair.
It’s about fifty minutes before the show is starting, and Y/N knows she has to start getting dressed and ready for the concert. Sighing, she slips from her boyfriend’s grasp (a small whine coming from him) and moves to her dressing corner. Suki, Ty Lee, Mai, Azula, and Yue had made their way to the room shortly after they started due to Sokka texting his girlfriend (Suki) to come over and join. 
The rest of the girls notice you get up and leave as well, much to everyone else’s dismay. You reassure them to keep playing a few more rounds, not wanting to ruin their fun with you putting clothes on. Y/N quickly shoves her outfit choice on which is very hot, black, and riddled with chains. To top it off, she had thick-heeled combat boots on with numerous buckles on them. Her hair, makeup, and accessories have already been done so she heads back to the group.
‘Cards Against Humanity’ has been packed up neatly and her friends are lounging around, getting last minute snacks and quality time before they go to their special seats right in front of the stage. Nothing but the best for her friends. Sokka and Katara are the first people to see her, and the former lets out his own wolf whistle in his own way to hype Y/N up. 
“DAMN, my best friend is HOT AS HELL. Zuko, you lucky ass man.” Katara hits him, but shoots her a wink as the rest of the gang look over. Y/N laughs giddily through their praises and hyped words (Toph in good spirit rather than actually seeing her outfit), as she makes her way back to her spot on the couch.
Zuko, who hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her yet, quickly grabs her bare waist and tugs her onto his lap to hold her tight. “So… this is what you meant by ‘hot girl shit.’” Letting out a loud laugh, Y/N turns her head and gives him a quick kiss. “I’m a rock star, baby, what can I say.” 
Aang cheers out of nowhere. “Yes! I’ve always wanted to be a groupie!” More laughter and jokes ring throughout the room, keeping the atmosphere as light as always, 
A knock at the door interrupts them. A man is standing there in all black with a headset on and a sleek, red (with little sparkles that only gleam in the light), electric guitar carefully caressed in his hands. While they are a girl group, their success has mainly come from being a girl group who also plays all their instruments. With Mai on the drums, Ty Lee on the keyboard, Azula and Y/N on electric guitars, Yue on the acoustic guitar, Suki on the bass; the band is truly a sight with all of them sharing the vocals and their enthusiastic (near crackhead) energy that give their crowd a good show. 
“Miss L/N? This is your five minute warning.” He tells them, not bothered by the usual group of people who are constantly in these rooms with her.
“Thanks Lee!” Y/N hops up to get her pride and joy (her child as Suki and Mai like to joke about). “I’ll be right out.”
Knowing these are the last pre-game minutes, everyone starts getting up to leave the room as well. Zuko lingers by Y/N who’s busy making sure her instrument is tuned perfectly for the numbers she’s about to perform. 
“I can feel you staring, Zu,” She smiles, still looking down at her strings. He huffs out a laugh, reaching out to push a piece of hair back to see her face.
“Good luck out there, my rock star. Don’t do too much hot girl shit.” 
“Oh, I’m doing all the hot girl shit.” A glare. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding… unless…?” She laughs at his fed up face. Reaching up, she presses one last, lingering kiss to his lips, enjoying the feeling of his fingers clutching her sides firmly and the feeling of his heart beat under her palm that’s resting on his chest. 
“Bye, love. I’ll see you after the show.” She whispers, sealing the promise with a kiss before moving back. “Alright kids! Get the hell out of my dressing room.” Y/N shouts at her friends and they all leave together, laughing away. 
The rest of them wish her luck before moving away, Sokka sprinting to find Suki one last time. Zuko holds onto her free hand, watching her laugh at ‘Simp Sokka’ with his small smile on his face. He kisses her hand, pulling her attention back to him. 
“Bye, rock star. I’ll see you after the show. Break a leg, yeah?” His cliche words make her laugh more, pulling away from him and towards the rest of her band who are chanting “BTG! BTG!”. 
“Zu… I don’t break legs. I break hearts.” And with one last mischievous look, she mouths ‘hot girl shit’ and struts away in that way that makes Zuko want to make her cancel the show completely. 
His phone buzzes a few minutes after he caught up with his friends in their special closed off section on the floor. He opens the notification and it sends him to Instagram where Y/N had tagged him in a post. The smile grows on his face with every second he takes in the post. 
Katara must’ve taken the picture. The angle, lighting, and quality could only be done by her. Y/N was on his lap, dressed to go on stage. Zuko’s mouth was almost touching her ear, definitely when he was whispering to her, and her face was wide in a smirk. They looked good, perfect even. The caption is what made him laugh, warmth and pride that she is his spreading through his chest. 
“Y/N_L/N: for him? I’m always on my hot girl shit”
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sherlollydramoine · 4 years
Text
Which Malek Twin is Better in Bed: An Experiment; Part Two
@theultraviolencefan
Word Count: 9500. This is a big boy. 
This is Sami’s part but there may be some bonus Rami. I did the best I could. Sorry this took so long but I had some struggles. Special shout-out to @diasimar, @xmxisxforxmaybe, @r-ahh-mi, and @breadnbutternips for your input, guidance, suggestions, and overall support. I swear I wouldn’t keep writing if it wasn’t for you wonderful ladies. <3  I love you all. 
Warnings: Protected/Unprotected Sex, Slightly dom-ish behavior, alcohol consumption referenced, some fluff, some self-indulgent random sort of Pride & Prejudice references. 
Part One ( H E R E )
You’d been in a fantastic mood since Tuesday night and the people you were closest too had definitely taken notice. Currently you didn’t possess the ability to stop laughing, singing and dancing around playfully and you could thank Rami for that. The entire experience with him had rocked your world in ways that you could never imagine. According to some of your other friends you’d been wound a little tight as of late, and the intensely amazing orgasms Rami had given you had left you a lot more relaxed. 
When the boys both texted you and asked if you wanted to meet them for brunch you had happily accepted. You joked that it had been a stroke of luck that you all wanted to enjoy the weather on the outdoor patio and there were no other patrons choosing to do the same.
Your jovial mood was more than obvious at your brunch meet up with twins that Friday because the state you were in had been a topic of conversation on and off for the last half hour. The only damper on the mood had been that Rami was acting a little out of character today. He was still your happy friend; smiling, laughing, and cracking his smart ass jokes but whenever tomorrow came up, he withdrew a little bit his smile definitely turning into a slight frown.
You were determined to not allow his odd behavior to dictate your mood at this point so you’d just continue to smile and laugh at the witty banter between the two men. It was an ongoing inside joke that the two of them should have a stand-up routine. Whenever they were together around you, you were always in stitches at their antics. The fame had not changed Rami in that way even though he is a lot more guarded now than he used to be.
“Damn bro what did you do to her?” Sami jokes, taking another bite of his sandwich. .
“Nothing out of the ordinary, other than prove that I can fuck her better than you can," Rami says wearing a proudly smug look on his face. 
“I guess I’m going to have to up my game for tomorrow then,” Sami shoots back and Rami frowns so slightly you almost missed it.
 He must have noticed you silently observing him because he reaches down grabbing a fry from his plate, popping into his mouth and shooting you a wink.You sat back and watched him chew, then swallow, before his gorgeous eyes found yours as he began inquiring about how you were feeling about tomorrow.
"So, YN, are you looking forward to your date with my brother tomorrow?" Rami asks. You felt as if the question was a little odd and for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out why the hell he’d want to know this information.
"Of course I am Ram. Just as excited as I was before our date. Why? Am I not supposed to be?" 
“I don’t know YN. You aren’t feeling any kind of apprehension at all? Nervousness?”
“Ram, I. I don’t know how I feel. Excited for sure, maybe a little nervous. It’s not an easy decision to have relations with someone and still come out of it just friends. Why? Do you want me to be nervous or something? Is this some kind of trick question?”
Uncertain as to what was happening to you internally;  the more Rami questions, the more anxious you start to feel about this whole thing. 
“Did you want me to call this whole thing off Ram? It isn’t fair to your brother though, is it? That you got to fuck me but he didn’t. I thought the whole fucking point of this thing was to figure out once and for all which one of you was better in bed?! I’m not backing away from the challenge, that if I remember correctly I was hesitant to agree to because I am terrified that this whole ‘experiment’ will irrevocably damage our long standing friendship. I can’t help but feel like I’m being interrogated or something; I’ve committed no crime.” you say a little more sharply than you actually intended. 
Your eyes try to scan his face for some read on what he could be thinking. 
“I just thought that maybe you’d be nervous is all,” he half-whispers, eyes cast downward clearly internally struggling to make sense of something. 
“I am! Jesus H Christ. Rami I was so nervous Tuesday night that I almost called the whole thing off. I love you both and I would never want to jeopardize our friendship over a fuck.”
Something you’d said must have set him off because his lips formed a hard line and he pushed away from the table with such force that the metal cafe chairs you were all seated in made a cacophonous racket against the concrete. You watch him take a deep breath and stand up, pushing his chair toward the table a little more forcefully than he may have intended. You watch in confusion as he tosses his napkin down next to his plate that holds his barely touched food before he wordlessly walks away, you assume towards the bathrooms.
"Sam did I do or say something wrong?" you ask on the verge of tears. 
“No YN, I don’t think you did. Sometimes he just-he is moody that’s all. I think maybe this new project that he’s been prepping for may be exacting a toll on him and his stress is coming out in some form of misplaced anger or something. I just call him Mr. Moody when he gets like this. Perhaps it’s an actor thing? I don’t really know,” came his response with a slight smirk. You were definitely not prepared to deal with the asshole-ish behavior this morning. Irritation begins to  settle in and you wanted to slap that famous Malek smirk right off of Sami’s face just as badly as you wanted to smack Rami in the side of his head for acting like a jerk. 
"I know, I've dealt with him before when he gets like this," you retort with a sigh. Rami is definitely more high strung and sometimes dealing with him during role prep can be emotionally exhausting for everyone around him. Everyone knows about his level of dedication and commitment to performing as authentically as possible, which meant that everyone just dealt with his affectionately dubbed ‘role prep insanity.’
Taking a few deep breaths of your own you come to the decision of ‘fuck him,’ if he wants to be an ass then you’d let him but you were going to try your best to not let him dictate your mood any further. Sami and you continue eating and making casual conversation until Rami comes back, wearing a stoic expression, the Malek poker face and he isn't very verbose. The one thing that you couldn't miss were his eyes;  red and puffy as if he'd been crying. He undoubtedly could  feel your eyes on him when you caught his gaze, he managed a small strained smile and then pulled his sunglasses from atop his head down his nose as he settled them in place on his perfect face.
For the most part the remainder of brunch passed almost amicably with the two of them, everyone deluded into believing that there hadn’t been any issue in the first place. Rami did keep his sunglasses firmly in place which carefully guarded his expressive eyes and you couldn’t help but to wonder if he was attempting to use them as a diversion, a mask, or some kind of shield. 
Conversation flowed easily enough after Rami had ordered himself a few more mimosas, which were an indulgence he’d never openly admit to . He became quite animated and excitable as he began to talk to the both of you about his latest project, the one he was leaving for on Sunday.on he did speak it was openly about the latest project that he was leaving for on Sunday. You’d never tire of watching him discuss his upcoming projects, the excitement that radiates from him is contagious making everyone else around him share that energy. You highly suspect that’s why people enjoy working with him so much; the little bean was always a ball of high energy enthusiasm, he attacks everything with every bit of skill he has. 
The happy mood that had tentatively settled over the table quickly dissipated once Sami brought up his plans for tomorrow and it pained you to watch as Rami completely shut down. He stopped talking and sat back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. He honestly reminded you of a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, like Rami did once when you were six and he was being forced to eat the three pieces of broccoli that had been served to him. The moment the waitress reappeared holding the large black envelope that contained the check Rami just wordlessly handed her his credit card.
You could feel his eyes on you as you shifted uncomfortably in your chair. You couldn't help feeling as if you'd done something wrong and you found yourself fighting back tears. In all the years that you’d know the Malek twins neither of them had ever made you feel the kind of uncomfortable that you were feeling now. Neither of them had ever been a reason for you to cry and you’d be damned if you let that happen now.
Pushing back from the table so quickly that the heavy metal chair nearly tipped over, you shot to your feet and rapidly muttered out,"I guess, ummm,  if you've got this, thank you Rami for brunch. I appreciate it very much and I’m excited for you and your project. Sami, I’ll see you tomorrow and Ram I hope you’re in a better mood on Sunday.”
With a nod of your head towards each of the boys, you turned on your heel and exited the restaurant hurriedly. Fishing your keys out of your purse and unlocking your car door you slowly release the breath that you’d been unaware you were holding. 
Why was Rami acting like that? Was he jealous? Confusion wracking your brain as you attempt to try and puzzle out Rami and his moods. The man's mood swings were legendary but you chalk all that up as one of the reasons he’s such an incredibly talented actor, but they could give you whiplash sometimes. 
Settling back at  home trying to get the confusing Rami thoughts out of your head you resort to the one thing that had always helped clear your mind. You scrubbed every inch of your house from top to bottom. After all was said and done, the house shining with absolute perfection and reeking of the oversaturated ‘tropical’  floral scents you favored in your cleaning products, you settle on your sofa after a hot shower with some shitty leftover Chinese takeout and even shittier television. 
Sami sent you a very succinct text early Saturday morning to let you know that he’d be over to pick you up around noon time promising you a quiet picnic in the park. Sami was never jealous of his brother's success or his brother's money, but sometimes you got the feeling that the two of them were constantly competing in a weird way with each other. He was well aware that his brother had wined and dined you at one of the poshest restaurants in town. Sami couldn’t afford a place like that and you both knew it, and you’d never hold him the same bar his brother had set. He knew you just as well as Rami did, and he knew that you actually favored the small, quiet type of dates. Rami had only chosen the type of date that he had for the simple fact that his rise to fame did not afford him the luxury of anonymity anymore and maintaining his privacy was becoming increasingly more difficult in the digital age of instant uploads and ‘peeping Toms’. 
FIdgeting nervously with the buttons on your light cardigan feeling the familiar sort of butterflies in your stomach feeling that you’d had prior to your date with Rami, you nearly jump out of your skin when the doorbell rang out loudly. You couldn’t help the small timid smile as you swung the door open to a beaming Sami. He looked so adorable standing there in some dark, tight fitting jeans and a t-shirt with a large blanket draped over his shoulder and an old school style picnic basket in the crook of his left elbow. 
"Ready?" he asks confidently as he reaches out to grab your hand. 
"Let's go Sami, let's go,"you tell him through your timid smile. 
You knew you wouldn’t be gone long but you let go of his hand for a few moments to lock your front door. While your neighborhood was considered quite safe and there wasn’t a lot of crime in your housing area, this was still Los Angeles and you weren’t going to take any chances. 
You turn back around, dropping the keys into your small cross body bag as you place your left hand in Sami’s right one as the two of you head off towards the small neighborhood park. 
Taking a turn about the park before scouting out the perfect place to lay the blanket out, Sami makes a joke about feeling like Caroline Bingley and Elizabeth Bennet as they casually stroll around the large drawing room at Netherfield Park. You couldn’t help but joke back about how he would actually be the perfect Charles Bingley, sitting back and observing making silly jokes. His quiet laugh brought on a small giggle of your own. 
“Very astute in your observations of me YN, but wouldn’t I be more suited to Mr. Darcy?”
“Not at all. You are much too relaxed and far more playful.You aren’t conceited enough to be a proper Caroline Bingley either, Rami would definitely be more suited to Mr. Darcy. He’s broody as hell but secretly in love with me,” you joke back, completely unaware of actual accuracy of your statement. 
Sami snorts but doesn’t say much after that, his primary focus was on setting out the blanket perfectly so that you were both in a position to either sit in the sun or in the shade that the large tree offered. 
Once he had everything positioned exactly as he wanted it to be, he gestures for you to have a seat and finding the perfect half shaded half sunny spot you attempt to gracefully sit. He sets the basket down to your left as he maneuvers his body so that you are situated between his legs. This position afforded you both views of the many people mulling about the park. Your favorites were the older couples out for an afternoon stroll, hand in hand. 
“So Charles, how are you feeling this fine afternoon?”
“Why Miss Bennett, I do believe that I am feeling fine, especially now that I get to enjoy your company. I’m pretty sure that this is considered quite inappropriate as we are unchaperoned.”
The laugh that left you was infectious as he joined you. 
“Very well my good Sir, considering that you are already planning on defiling me later I suppose that it is a good thing that we are unaccompanied on this warm day.I sure wouldn’t want any witnesses to whatever debauchery lay before us.”
You feel him shift his weight as he sits up a little straighter and whispers in your ear,  "All things considered YN, you have bewitched me body and soul."
“Oh you naughty, naughty boy. You know exactly what Mr. Darcy quotes do to me,” you scold as you playfully smack him on his arm. “You’ve always been such a charmer Sami. Actually you were always so suave and smooth.”
“Oh hell. Not this shit again. Everyone always says that but I seriously used to feel so awkward and weird. 
“No Sam, awkward and weird, that’s your brother,” you laugh out again. Sami is definitely bringing out the best in you today. The butterflies from earlier had disappeared now being replaced with a loud rumbling as your stomach makes you well aware of the fact that you haven’t eaten yet today. 
“That is the most accurate statement about Rami I’ve ever heard YN. You know the both of us so well.”
“I just can’t believe that you remembered my favorite book.”
“Why do you say that? You think I wouldn’t remember those kinds of things about one of my best friends?”
“I never know exactly what you or your brother do or don’t remember.”
“More than you might think YN. Definitely way more than you think. I remember your favorite color, movie, flower, drink, meal, you sing to yourself when you are really happy, you dance when you think no one is watching, you can fall asleep nearly anywhere as long as you have a blanket, you are always cold but you never complain about it, you bite your lip when you are concentrating, you curse like a sailor and make no apologies for it. You march to the beat of your own drum. You are a breath of fresh air sometimes and it is beautifully refreshing.”
“I bite my lip when I’m concentrating?”
“Yeah, you also furrow your brows and chew on your nails when you are attempting to puzzle something out.”
“Damn man. I didn’t think-I had no idea I had so many tells.”
“Rami and I have known you forever YN, of course we’d know these things after so long a friendship.”
You smile to yourself as your stomach rumbles again and he casually asks if you are hungry.
"Starving."
You pull your body away from his chest and turn to sit facing him on the blanket while he reaches over and pulls the basket between the two of you removing an array of plastic containers filled with food, disposable plates, disposable cutlery and a few bottles of ice cold water.
Jaw slackening at the sheer volume of food options laid before you, looking up at him you couldn’t help but ask,"Sam, did you make all of this yourself?" 
"Yeah most of it. Rami did help out a little bit but I think that was mostly because his skinny ass just wanted the extras,"he laughs out in response as he begins to plate the food.
“You’re feast madam, is ready,”he intones using a poorly mimicked, possible sort of English accent. 
Bowing your head you couldn’t help but to croon back in an equally bad accent, “Thank you kindly Sir.”
Both of you all smiles as you sit together on the blanket in the sunshine as you eat just making casual small talk, sharing jokes and sipping from the cold water bottles.The casual atmosphere of the date definitely had the both of you feeling incredibly relaxed as the sun beat down on your back. The genuine smiles being exchanged was not unnoticed by other park patrons. 
You overheard an older couple walking through the soft grass nearby comment about how the two of you reminded them of themselves about forty years ago, which set off a fit of giggles between the two of you. 
Finishing your meal, leaving the used items stacked haphazardly on one side of the blanket you settle back between Sami’s legs as he wraps his arms around your waist. People watching was one of your favorite activities and the two of you often made it a fun game when you both played together. Making up random commentary or dialogue of the park's random assortment of visitors, giggling at some of the antics of the children observing how much fun some of the families in the park were having just running amok. Some children had popsicles that were half-melted in their tiny fists. There was a smattering of young couples that had a similar idea as the two of you and were sprawled on blankets snuggling in, some openly kissing, a group of teenagers near the basketball court smoking and shoving one another, and some older couples just strolling around the park. 
This afternoon had been gorgeously sunny and warm but surprisingly not too hot. The warmth of the air, and the feeling of Sami's arms around you made your mind start wandering to Rami.You began to question why you were having the intrusive thoughts about Rami, and then your mind took a sharp turn to the left and you were stunned at how easily you admitted to yourself about how fun it would be to be in this exact situation with him. Sitting on a blanket watching the children play, talking about having a family, placing small but meaningful kisses to each other's lips. You let out a sigh and shake your head hoping to rid your mind of those thoughts. It almost started to make this moment with Sami feel wrong but you were a woman on a mission, and you weren’t going to fail. This whole thing had been your idea in the first place and you weren’t going to back down from the challenge.
Somehow, managing to clear your mind of the wayward and fantastical thoughts of Rami, your body relaxes back into Sami’s arms where you pleasantly discover that you're content to stay. Time seems to fly and before you know it you’d spent twenty minutes joking about what was happening around you. The two of you making up dialogue for some of the other couples around you. Loud laughter from the two of you had other park patrons casting curious glances at the two of you, some shaking their heads and others smiling widely. 
A few beats passed between the two of you and he cleared his throat; was he ready to go?
“Sam it’s getting a little warm out did you want to-” you hesitate struggling to articulate that you wanted to leave without sounding too eager, “do you want to stay? Or do you want to go ahead and head back to mine?
He doesn't say anything but he nods his head, releasing you from his grip  and together you get everything cleared up, depositing the trash into the appropriate bins, shaking out the blanket and folding it up. You gather up the basket resting it in the crook of your elbow much as he had little over an hour earlier. Without thinking you reach out to offer him your hand which he accepts wearing a shy smile; slowly exhaling as the familiar comforting feeling settles over you both. 
The walk back to your house had consisted of you mostly chattering away about anything and everything to distract yourself. Looking over at Sami every once in a while he just appeared to be content to listen to whatever it was that you couldn’t stop yammering on about. 
Strolling up the driveway the butterflies came back tenfold and you find yourself feeling almost dizzy with anticipation. This wasn’t unexpected since the both of you knew that all of this was the point of the whole thing. Unlocking the door and kicking your shoes off nearly in the same manner that you’d done with Rami you almost laugh out loud. This doesn’t feel  awkward like it had with Rami but rather just an anxiousness. Could you go through with this?
Observing Sami as he kicks off his shoes as you had, and setting his basket down in nearly the same place that Rami had haphazardly tossed his stuff earlier in the week you let out a weak laugh. Sami cocked a brow at you as if to question what could be so funny but he didn’t press for details as you shook your head.
For the briefest of moments things felt awkward and you swear that you could nearly cut the tension with a knife but that was swiftly put to bed as Sami takes you by the hand and guides you into the living room, stopping only once you reach the sofa. 
Neither of you exactly sure how to proceed which was hard for you as you’d never been the one to completely take charge in most sexual matters. Rami had taken the lead earlier in the week and now you feel as if you’d made some incorrect assumptions about Sami. Between both twins you’d always presumed that he’d be the one to definitely take charge in all matters sexual in nature. 
Perching yourself on the arm of the sofa while Sami stood in front of you he grasps both your arms in his and roughly pulls you back into a standing position in front of him, his hands skating up your arms until his hands come to a stop on either side of your face. With a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth moments before his lips descend on yours. There was not an ounce of hesitation in the way his soft mouth works yours, his right hand settling on the back of your neck to pull your face closer to his.
Your body moving on its own accord, becoming putty in his hands melting into him as your hips unconsciously pressing into his. His left hand slowly drifting downwards from your face; his fingers deftly working the buttons of your cardigan open sliding it off your shoulders. The faux pearl buttons quietly clacking on the hardwood; something about that small noise awoke a primal part of yourself. 
Reaching down, grasping the hem of his shirt and lifting it up working together with him until it joined your cardigan in a crumpled heap on the floor. Seizing an opportunity to stare at his bare chest and arms for the first time in ages, viewing him now in a completely different light. You’d never seen Sami as the object of your sexual attention until this moment. Your eyes drinking in the sight of him; admiring the dark patch of hair on his chest, the light smattering of hair that trailed down into the waistband of his dark jeans, his strong arms and you felt a rush of heat to your core. Both brothers were physically identical but while Rami was lean, Sami was definitely fuller and you could appreciate the difference. 
You must have been ogling his body longer than intended because he let out a breathy little laugh, “Like what you see?”
You just smirk at him and reach out for him, your lips finding his this time as your bodies begin a semi-graceful, lustful dance down the hallway towards your bedroom. Neither of you break the kiss, even his hands snake around your waist and end up on your back, fingers locating the zipper of your dress. His skilled fingers tugging the tiny piece of metal,freeing you from the confines of your dress, you let out a small moan at the sensation of the soft fabric ghosting your skin as it flutters to the floor and settles in a pool around your bare feet. 
Your hips desperately trying to come in contact with his seeking the heated friction you were craving. The evidence of his arousal currently pressed into your pelvis elicits another small moan from you. You reach down and slither your hands into his jeans and into the waistband of his underwear. 
Gently grasping his firm length in your hand, you move your hand in the restricted space, sliding your thumb over the head of his cock and smearing the little beads of precum onto him as you begin to work him. His eyes squeezed tightly shut as his forehead gently presses into yours, letting out small shaky breaths. 
Raising your chin slightly to reclaim his mouth, your hand still working him. He lets out a quiet moan against your mouth. When you withdraw your hand from his pants and begin fumbling with this belt, his hands gently come to rest on yours. Looking up to catch and hold his gaze, his eyes are half lidded, pupils blown wide and glassy with lust. 
"No, amira (princess), this is all about you. Don't worry about me."
Suddenly he lifts you into his arms and presses your back to the wall, the shock barely registering before you feel the roughness of his beard scraping along your skin as his mouth explores every inch of skin from navel to pelvis. 
Sami's mouth begins to lick and suck at your soft skin in between murmurs of how gorgeous you are. 
Your mouth opens and closes in a shocked silence as his lips graze over your center. Gasping as his beard scrapes against the sensitive flesh of your thighs, and the fingers of his right hand ghost along your panty line before roughly pulling them aside.
He ends up pushing you further along the wall as he places his shoulders under your knees,his left hand on your hip to steady the both of you as his tongue finds your clit and the fingers of his right hand find your slick center. 
"Oh fuck," you whine out your eyes nearly rolling back into your head, your head just thumping back against the wall, as your hips unconsciously buck into his face. His grip on your hip tightens and you're certain there will be bruises in the morning.
"Oh God Sami."
You press your thighs tight around his face, his beard adding to the delicious friction your body was seeking. Your hands come down in his hair, grabbing onto the chestnut strands as you start face fucking him. 
He responds by working his tongue and fingers at a much more rapid pace. Once he starts the come hither motion inside you, you nearly lose it. 
You respond with grunts, moans and desperate whiny pleas for him to not stop. Soon enough you came undone around him, screaming a nearly incoherent chorus of fucks, oh God's and his name. He doesn't stop until he's worked you through your orgasm and the trembling in your legs has subsided. 
He eases your legs off his shoulders and as you look at him you couldn't help the self satisfied smirk on your face. Your juices were coating his face from nose to chin. Sami's eyes lock with yours, a slow smirk creeping across his face as he slowly brings his hand to his mouth and sucks his fingers clean. 
Removing his fingers from his mouth, eyes still locked with yours, licking his lips he says, "You taste so good YN. So damn good."
You let out a quiet moan before a giggle escapes.
"I bet you do too Sam. Come here I wanna taste you."
"No amira, this is all about you.”
You just wrap your arms around his neck and his lips found yours in a bruising kiss. The slow dance down the rest of the hallway ended once the back of your legs had hit the edge of your bed. Both of you were so turned on that neither of you hesitated to keep going.
“Lay back on the bed,” he instructs
You do as you were told and lift your hips to rid yourself of your panties, tossing them aside while he finishes removing his clothing.
You don’t notice when he pulls the condom out of the pocket of his jeans and effortlessly slips it on. It only felt like a few seconds had passed as his body doesn’t take long before his body is hovering over yours his hands coming to grip your hips.Letting out a slow breath as he eased himself inside of you. Sami’s hips stilled for a few moments giving you a chance to get used to the feel of him and when you whined out for him to move, he did. 
His hips pounding into yours and hitting every sweet spot inside of you while you claw at his shoulders and back, wanting nothing more than to pull him deeper into you. 
“Ohhhh Rami” you whine out and for just a moment you feel Sami’s hips stutter, still for a few seconds, and then continue moving. 
Your eyes widen in shock as you realize what you’ve just done. He doesn’t say anything at all as his right hand comes up and grabs your chin tightly. His hips never falter in their pace as he looks you in the eye and says,”Wrong brother.”
You weren’t expecting that reaction from him and the slight aggressiveness of his handling of you made you clench around him. The pleasure coursing through your body was very different to the pleasure you had been given by Rami and you were unsure of how you felt. 
Suddenly you feel his hands roughly pull your hips closer to his, as he pulls you damn near into his lap, his arms now firmly holding you around your waist as he fucks up into you. Sami buries his face in the crook of your neck for a moment before he takes the sensitive flesh at the base of your throat between his teeth as he sucks a mark into the flesh that you are certain is going to be a bright reddish purple in the morning, The hair from his beard scratching at your neck in a pleasant way just before you feel his hot breath on your ear.
“I bet you my brother didn’t make you feel this good.”
Those words made you moan into his shoulder as you come completely undone around him. He continues to fuck you through your second orgasm of the afternoon but it’s clear that he isn’t done with you yet. 
Without warning he releases you and you fall back onto the mattress.
“Such a good girl, so soft and compliant. Now I’m going to make you scream. I want you on all fours.”
You scramble to your knees quickly and he wastes no time reentering you from behind. Sami places his left hand on your hip and his right hand fists on your hair. 
"Say my name,"he breathlessly demands. 
You quietly mutter out his name but he wasn't satisfied with that. His grip in your hair tightens. Sami’s hips have set a brutal pace that have your fingers scrambling for purchase on anything. Pulling on your fitted sheet so hard that you end up pulling the soft blue material right off the corner of the mattress. The blood pounding in your ears as another orgasm quickly approaches you hear Sami saying something.
" Say my name. Louder." He demands again, as his left hand comes down to circle your clit.
You couldn’t help it, you let loose and you scream out his name quite a bit louder than you had the first. He still wasn’t satisfied with your response. You can hear him barely keeping it together somehow staving off his orgasm as yours crashes around you. Legs trembling and your arms giving out making you face plant onto the soft mattress as you scream his name repeatedly. Clenching around him as you give in completely to the pleasure that has overtaken your body. 
Sami responds by tightening his grip on your hair as his body tenses and he cums with a shout of your name, Both of you gasping for air as he collapses onto your back in a sweaty heap of tangled limbs. 
Time seemed to pass too quickly after your encounter with Sami. It seems like as soon as the two of you had come back down to Earth you both got up and began the process of cleaning up. 
He left by three thirty that afternoon, which left you with way too much time on your hands to mull over the details from Tuesday and today. Could you accurately be able to figure out who had actually been better in bed? Why did everything feel so different with Rami than it had with Sami? Too many questions floating around your head and you were nervous. In less than twenty-four hours you’d have to deliver your verdict to the two of them. Did you just end up in an impossible situation? Head in your hands mostly in frustration. Both of them were stellar in bed. Why is this so hard?
Trying to drown out the thoughts running through your head you decide to distract yourself with cleaning. Starting in the bedroom, you strip the bedding and replace the soft blue colored linens with the silver gray colored ones that you’d had on the bed the night you and Rami had slept together. 
Picking up some other scattered laundry and doing some other menial chores around the house you realize that you were absolutely starving. Hours had passed since your picnic with Sami and the exertions of the afternoon were taking a toll. Deciding that there is no better time for pizza and wine, both a comfort to you, so that you could pull your thoughts together to be able to come to a decision about the boys.
 Picking up your phone and smiling at the picture on your background. It was a photo of the three of you at the Oscars with Rami the night that he’d won. He had jokingly called you his good luck charm, and even though he had brought his family, he insisted that you too were like family to him and it would mean the world if you were there too.
Placing your order with the pizza place you decided that a quick shower was in order. You couldn’t focus while you still smelled like Sami. 
Deciding to forgo any clothes for the evening, wrapping yourself in your favorite oversized fluffy robe, you head back to the living room. You picked up a pen and notepad that you’d left on the coffee table after Sami left to try and start comparing notes. So far all you’d scribbled on the page were their names. You weren’t sure how the hell you were even supposed to score this. Should you do it like the Olympics? Form, Execution, Dismount? You scribbled down orgasms placing tallies under the header. Rami two, Sami three. Was that a good thing? The sex with Rami had been so different though that you weren’t sure that it mattered. 
So focused on trying to scribble down other comparisons you almost missed the knock at your front door that was quickly followed by the ringing of the doorbell. Tossing the notepad and pen down on the table with a frustrated sigh, you got up to go answer the door. Paying for your pizza and leaving the pizza delivery kid a generous tip, you drop the box onto your coffee table next to the notepad, padding into the kitchen to grab your wine. No wine glass needed tonight, you had a lot on your mind and you needed to focus, so you just drank directly from the bottle. 
Grabbing a slice from the box and stuffing as much of the deliciousness that was the pizza into your mouth, you picked up your pen and began scribbling more notes onto the paper. Getting to the header of form. Rami’s form had been flawless at least in your eyes. The sex with him had been slow and gentle almost as if he’d been making love to you rather than the fuck that it was supposed to be. 
After finishing your first slice of pizza you frustratedly toss the notepad back on the table and reach for another slice. As soon as it was halfway to your mouth you heard a knock on the door followed by the incessant ringing of the doorbell. Glancing at the clock on the wall it was nearly eight pm and you weren’t expecting anyone. 
Swinging open the door in mild irritation giving way to amusement as Rami nearly tumbles to the floor. He manages to catch himself but ends up face planting directly into your cleavage. 
“YNNNN!” Rami shouts, dragging out the last half of your name. “And HELLO YN”s tits! Such pretty things, I wanna touch 'em again. They were so soft and squishy.”
“Rami? What are you doing here?” you ask with a brow raised. You really were curious as to how he’d ended up here. You didn’t see his car or any other car. 
“I just thought I’d come say hello. You know. You’re my best friend and also because I kind of wanted to kiss you again,” he half mumbles with his face still buried in your cleavage.
 Laughter bubbling out of you at his boldness. Rami when even partially was intoxicated could be quite bold and had no problem saying what was on his mind. You help him stand upright and pull him into the house slamming the door shut behind you; his laughter loud as he struggles to remove his shoes. As soon as he gets his shoes off he follows you deeper into the house.
“Rami what is going on?”
You gesture for him to have  a seat on the couch watching as he clumsily plops down next to you. His face is an alternating mixture of serious and forlorn. Rami doesn’t say anything for long enough that you were certain that he didn’t hear your question. Just as you are about to repeat the question he decides to respond.
“I don’t want you to forget about me. I know that it’s been several days but I don’t want my brother to win. I sometimes suspect that he’s better at everything than me. All I can do is act but my brother is better at everything else,” he rambles. 
“Ram- I couldn’t forget about you even if I wanted to. You can do so much more than you think you can. I think you’re an incredible person. How much have you had to drink tonight? I think you need to eat something.”
“I’ve had plenty enough to drink but that pizza looks sooo good. I want to eat it as badly, almost as I want to eat you. You tasted like what I imagine heaven does.”
From his position on the couch he looks so sad and small. He isn’t a big guy by any means but when he gets sad he tends to shrink into himself which gives him the appearance of being much smaller than he actually is. You almost cry when he looks up at you with tears shining in his beautifully expressive eyes, and you react the only way you know how in that moment. 
“Here, eat this,” you suggest as you hold the pizza up for him to take. He just smiles and leans forward not bothering to actually take the slice into his own large hands instead opting to just take a large bite of the end.
“Mmmmm so good. This is the best pizza ever.”
“Then take this slice, I’m going to go get you a bottle of water. Please don’t go anywhere,” you instruct as he finally grabs the pizza from your hand, taking another large bite.
Re-entering the living room from the kitchen less than a minute later, what you see nearly makes you faint. There was Rami casually munching on his pizza that he had gripped in one of his large hands, your notepad in the other. You clear your throat and he tosses the notepad back onto the coffee table looking a little sheepish.
“Snooping isn’t nice Rami.”
“He gave you three orgasms?”
“He did Rami. It doesn’t mean anything really I’m just trying to make comparisons that’s all. Wasn’t that the whole point of this experiment?”
His face changes from the sheepish one to the stoic Malek poker face that you hated. It was the ultimate unreadable expression and both twins wore it well. That face you always assumed was their attempt at neutrality and it drove you insane. Sometimes you call it the mask, and this is the same face he made the other day at brunch before he threw his little Rami temper tantrum. 
“Rami?” 
“Yes?”he responds, arching a brow at you just before he takes another bite of his pizza.  
“Why are you really here?”
He suddenly starts to choke on his food but somehow manages to recover quickly before swallowing the bite of food that he’d been chewing, his face switching from Malek poker face to amusement. 
“I’m  here because…. I want to be! Since when have we ever needed an excuse to hang out together? I’m going away tomorrow and I’m going to miss my best friend so maybe I just wanted some quality time before I have to leave.”
You don’t buy it. His behavior at brunch yesterday and the awkwardness today in conjunction with a few things he’d said are contributing to the Malek bullshit detector that is being set off in your brain. He must have read your facial expression because he just lets out an awkward laugh before nearly inhaling the rest of his food.
“Rami, I’m not complaining. I’m just curious if the timing for the visit has something to do with your brother and what happened today,” you casually mention as you reclaim your spot on the sofa next to him. Rami doesn’t say anything but silently retrieves the water bottle you were holding out to him. 
“YN why is your face all red? What is that?” he asks as he pokes at the mark that Sami had left at the base of your throat.
No response from you told Rami everything he needed to know.
“My brother did that, didn't he?”
There was no point in telling any lies. Rami would see right through it and would call you out on it immediately, so you nod your head silently to answer his question. You weren’t expecting what happened next and that was Rami letting out a growl, yes a growl, as his lithe body collided with yours knocking you back into the arm of the sofa.
“I need to give you a reminder, a refresher, about who can fuck you the best. I can’t hold this back anymore. Sami may have given you three orgasms today, but I can do it so much better. I refuse to lose to my brother. I want, no I need, to give you at least four. I’ll prove to you which Malek is the better lover,” he asserts, using a tone unlike one you’ve ever heard from him before. You knew yourself well enough to know that you wouldn’t deny him anything.
His eyes search yours for a few moments, giving you an opportunity to decline, when you brooked no denial everything seemed to happen very rapidly from there.  
His lips land on yours in an unexpected heated kiss that feels way to brief for your liking. Rami had a mouth that was made for kissing and you never wanted to stop. You whine in protest at the abrupt departure of his lips from yours but you reign in your displeasure the moment his hands fist in your hair and he roughly jerks your head to the side, allowing him better access to your neck. You gasp in shock when you feel his lips attach to the most sensitive bit of flesh on your neck, his teeth and lips working together to create the right amount of pressure needed to leave a mark. Once he was satisfied that a large enough mark would clearly be visible tomorrow he works his way upwards towards your hairline leaving a trail of smaller hickies in his wake. Rami giggles to himself, obviously proud of his handiwork as he works on leaving another trail of marks along your shoulder and collarbone. All the while he was muttering something to himself about how he refused to be outdone by his brother. 
He releases your hair from his grip, his mouth licking and sucking along every inch of exposed skin eliciting a shiver from you. You move only in an attempt to adjust your body so that you can position yourself in a way that is more open to him, not noticing when his fingers gently tug at the belt of your robe allowing the fabric to fall away from your skin. Rami’s mouth continues its downward explorative journey of your body leaving nothing but goosebumps along the way.
Your mouth opens in shock and your head lolls back on the armrest of the couch the moment his lips come in contact with one of your nipples both of them hardening under the gentle pressure of his tongue, his other hand gently kneading the flesh of your other breast. His thumb tweaking the nipple just as he lightly bit down on the nipple he had in his mouth.  Moaning out quietly at the wonderful sensations that his mouth were  evoking, swearing that you could cum just from his stimulation of your breasts. When he felt he’d paid enough attention to one breast he moved on to the other repeating the process. 
When he finally stopped lavishing all the attention on your breasts you were a panting, sweating mess. 
“God Rami. How the hell do you do this to me?”
He offers no verbal response to your question but instead spreads your legs wide and slips his fingers between your wet folds.
“I knew you’d be wet for me already.”
Rami slips his fingers through your damp folds and starts to work you, his eyes never leaving your face as he watches in amused satisfaction; content that he is making you fall apart like this. Your head thrown back onto the arm of the sofa, hips bucking on their against Rami’s hand while he coos nothing but praise for you.
“That’s it baby, that’s it. You’re so beautiful spread open like this for me. Let go, cum on my fingers baby.”
HIs gentle praise and the way his thumb was circling your clit as his fingers hit that sweet spot inside of you, you came undone way too quickly for your liking. A strangled moan leaves your lips as you clench around his fingers, while one of his hands holds you steady to prevent you from bucking yourself off the couch.
“One,”he half-shouts sounding something that could best be described as victorious. “I told you that I’m going to give you four, and that’s one.”
 Once your legs stop trembling you watch as he slithers his body down yours and his face aligns with your center. He spreads you open, and his tongue gets to work, stimulating your sensitive pink bundle with his tongue. Slow, languid flicks of his  tongue, just enough to tease but not stimulate in the one way that you want it to be. Whining in protest, bringing your hand down to his hair hoping to spur him on just a little.
He begins to hum against you while his tongue begins to work a little faster, moving in a way that has you nearing orgasm way too quickly. Why is sex with him like this?
Without warning your thighs clamp tightly shut against his head, your hips once again moving on their own as your thighs tremble and shake. 
“Oh my God. Oh my God. Raaaaami fuuuuuuuck” you scream out.
You can feel him smile against your core as his tongue continues to work you through your orgasm. Once your body has stopped convulsing you feel his hand release the grip they had on your hips and he pulls himself up to his knees. 
“Two.”
You try to sit up but his hands shove you back down onto the couch.
“No,” he protests when you try to reach up to help  him with his pants. You want to get your hands or mouth on  his beautiful cock but apparently he has other plans. Watching as he strips himself down faster than you’d ever thought it was possible for anyone to do, he strokes himself languidly for a few seconds and then maneuvers himself between your open thighs. 
Rami wastes no time at all pulling your hips up and easing himself into you. The noise that escapes you makes him react with his own noises. His hips pounding into yours though his eyes never leave yours. He is a man on a pleasure mission and you know he won’t stop until he gets you exactly where he wants you.
“You feel so good baby. So good for me,” he coos.
Your body responding to him and his praise. 
“Do you like this?”
“Oh fuuuuckkkk Rami. Yesssss don’t stop,” you shout, feeling so close to orgasm already. His hands coming down to pull your  hips upwards,changing the angle, so that his cock hits every part of you that makes you feel good. Your body shivering at the sensations.
“I can feel you getting close baby. So good, so good for me, cum for me baby,” he encourages. His brow is furrowed and both of your bodies so overheated and coated in sweat. WIth his words of encouragement you feel that something inside of you snap and you cum hard screaming his name. You haven't completely recovered from your third orgasm with Rami yet but when your eyes snap open you are met with the sight of his eyes boring into yours with an intense concentration coupled with lust.
“Three.”
He moves his hips at a slower, less frantic pace which was surprising to you but he slides his hands up your body, your legs wrapped around his waist as his hands slide into yours much as they had on Tuesday night. 
You could barely register anything as his mouth starts singing your praises
“Love everything about you. Love these hands,” he murmurs as he squeezed his fingers against yours where they were now intertwined above your head, “these beautiful lips of yours so soft and sweet,” he kisses you softly, “every inch of your body is divine, like you are a goddess sent from the heavens just for me,” he lowers his body so that it is now flush against yours, “just-everything, everything, everything.” (Thank you @diasimar)
Your breath catches in your throat at his words disbelieving that he would ever utter these words to you in any other circumstances. The only explanation is that he’s caught in a moment.
“You’re so beautiful, so beautiful,” he continues as he moves his hips against yours
Your breath catches in your throat at his words and you aren’t aware if he knows what he is saying. His hips never stopping, his eyes locked on yours until you can feel his body tense and you know his orgasm is getting close. 
“Baby cum for me,” he nearly pleads. Closing your eyes and giving into the pleasure coursing through your body. Your insides clench around him as you feel your body spasming in pleasure for the seventh time today, you cry out his name again and again until you feel him reach his release. Forcing your eyes open to watch him as he cums, his jaw tensing and his mouth in an ‘o’ shape, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.
Both of you struggle to catch your breath as he relaxes all of his weight on top of you, you release his hands and much as you had on Tuesday night you bring your hands up to his hair to run them through his damp curls. He just rests head on your shoulder and you let out a small laugh when he weakly mumbles out , “Four.”
The warm weight of him on top of you combined with your exertions from the day of sexual activities has your eyes closing and you aren’t sure exactly when you fell asleep. When you wake up in your bed in the morning you smile to yourself, rolling over and reaching out but you find the space on the mattress next to you empty. 
A part of you didn’t want to feel a bit sad or abandoned but you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing freely. Why are you so emotional when it comes to Rami? You let the tears fall for a few minutes and then try to pull yourself together. You have to deliver your findings today to the boys but you needed to get up and prepare yourself for the day. Rolling over and swinging your feet over the side of your bed, you wince in pain, as you were incredibly sore from yesterday’s vigorous activities. That’s when you notice a folded piece of paper with your name on the outside in a very familiar scrawl. Confusion racking your brain when you open the notecard and realize that you don’t know what the actual note said:  ahbik. la 'astatie alaintizar liruyatak baed zuhr hdha alyawm. (Google translated so I apologize for any inaccuracies but it’s supposed to be translated to: I love you. I can’t wait to see you this afternoon.)
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yodawgiherd · 3 years
Text
Red flag pt.3
>>>Read on AO3<<<
Soon brothers.
Just not yet.  :D
In the following week, Mikasa learned more about sex than she ever did before. While the internet itself was a fickle teacher, giving facts and hundred and more opinions from anonymous users, Eren was an endless well of knowledge. It was her who asked first too, he didn’t even try to talk about it before Mikasa brought it up. And how could she help herself, with such an insane bomb being dropped on her!
First things first – she googled the name of the agency he worked at, just to be sure that he was not bulshitting her, but everything he said seemed to be true. The website was there, displaying the “ wide variety of services done by long-term professionals”. Although Eren’s name was not there, he told her that he is listed as Master E, a thing she immediately questioned. Over messenger, of course.
Master E? Damn that’s lame.
You wound me :(
I mean seriously, couldn’t you be something cooler?
Such as?
I don’t know! Master Evil. Dungeon Master. Lord of the Night?
Yea, I’m sure that dungeon master would be turning heads
….. Orgasminator?
Mikasa pls
Lord horsecock
Stoooooop I beg you!
Fine fine, you’re just jealous I’m that much better at naming than you
Sure am.
When he didn’t continue, Mikasa took the initiative.
Sooooooooooo, gonna tell me where the Master E came from?
Simple. Annie wanted to be Mistress A so I just latched onto her vibe
Uh-hu. So you are just that much unoriginal
:( sadly
Just imagining Eren pouting at his phone made Mikasa’s evening that much brighter. She wanted to see more of it.
Latching on Annie, you do that a lot don’t you?
Why is that?
Well, she’s the one who introduced you to this whole thing and even today she is the best at your agency, most advertised one too. Playing catch up your whole life? Maaaaaaster E? :P
Hey, it’s not my fault that men are bigger pervs than women.
Excuses
To be honest, I don’t mind being behind Annie, she’s good at this. Also, don’t tell her this, but she scares me sometimes
Scares you how :O
Annie can be really brutal when she gets into it. Nothing the clients don’t ask for, mind you, but still. If you’d see her victims….. the wounds……
Mikasa’s breath caught in her throat.
Are you serious?
I don’t know…. Am I?
Dork.
She frowned at her phone, but still looked when the answer pinged in.
I am partly serious though. She can be a nightmare, sometimes I feel like she’s on a one-woman crusade against the male population. And she’s getting paid for it too!
She sounds like a hell of a woman.
You bet :)
Master E also had several scenes online, to be bought and watched, and a few times Mikasa almost clicked the button and spent her hard-earned cash on kinky porn. It was the promise of a live show that stopped her from doing so. She didn’t know if she’s going to go yet but buying a video of something she could watch happening in real time was a waste of money. No, she wouldn’t spoil that surprise.
She learned much anyway, way too much even, things that made her blush and hide her face, things that made her quickly hide her phone. In moments like these, she was grateful that the communication was being done over the internet, as Eren was way too intense of a person to be talked about this face to face. Here, hidden behind her screen, she could pester him for ages, joking and making fun of whatever he gave her. And, during these conversations, she learned another important thing.
For a guy who was more or less a professional perv, Eren used a lot of emojis in his messages.
It caught her off guard, how normal and easy to talk to he was. She didn’t think that he was a monster or something, but Eren was right when he said that her opinion of him changed fundamentally once she found out about his job. Mikasa found herself texting to him, a lot, and he texted back, snapped photos until she started doing it too, and overall just had a great time. Levi was giving her sidelong glares when he kept catching her while she stared at her phone, grinning like a maniac, but she simply ignored him. How was she supposed to not laugh when Eren just sent her a photo of his cup from a coffee shop with a crying emoji. Apparently, they spelled his name wrong again and kept calling him Aaron.
What’s the most common thing they ask you to do?
She half hid her face in the pillow, already dreading the answer. The three dots that appeared in the corner indicated that he was typing an answer, and soon enough there was a ping.
I feel like I’ll disappoint you here.
Most of my clients are easily satisfied  - basic bondage/dominance stuff works wonders
They could do that with literally anyone else
Like their boyfriends and stuff
Mikasa frowned, typing an answer.
Why don’t they then?
Ping
Sometimes it’s the professionalism I bring to the table, and then I understand them.
But often it's just a lack of communication
You’d be surprised how many things can be solved if two parties talk to each other.
I usually advise it too, tell them that they could be doing this with someone they love and not me
You undermine your own clientele like this? Mikasa wrote Why would you do that?
A few dollars ain't worth if they could be happier. Then again, not every one of them takes my advice, it's difficult to open up about things like these.
That gave Mikasa a perfect chance to poke at him.
Not for you, apparently :p
Ping
:D true, but I work in the business
The range of things they discussed was wide. Save for her past, which she did not want to talk about, and made it crystal clear too, Mikasa shared a lot. She told him all about her brother and the gym, sent him snaps from her workouts and then typed back angry emojis when he called her sweaty tryhard. His overall ignorance towards something that was a big part of her life did raise a question. Grabbing her phone more firmly, she quickly typed it out.
Haven’t you thought about doing any martial art yourself?
You deff got the figure for it.
A ping later there was an answer.
Bold of you to say that when you never saw me shirtless :P
But nah
I’m a lover, not a fighter
Plus, you’re just trying to recruit me to your gym, aren’t you?
Levi promised you a bonus?
Spill your beans, Ackerman
Damn spammer. Yet Mikasa was smiling again, which made Levi, who just happened to be passing by, groan.
“Don’t you have a client coming?”, he asked.
She shook her head.
“In an hour, I’ve got plenty of time to get cleaned up.”, she made a gesture with her hand, “Now shoo, I’m having a conversation.”
“With Sasha?”
“Huh?”, she looked up, puzzled, “Why would it be Sasha?”
“Cause I never saw you smiling this much before.”
One week turned to two, and suddenly the day of Eren’s show was here. He remained true to his word, never bringing that event up, keeping it completely in her hands, if she wanted to show up or not. Mikasa was uncertain. The mystery pulled her in, she wanted to see these things for herself. Watching it on the internet is one thing, but live show….
All the stories Eren told her only fueled such a flame. He always omitted names and such, for the discretion of his clients, but he didn’t hold back on the details. To be fair, Mikasa did ask for those.
Sasha wasn’t much help in her decision process either, because Mikasa didn’t want to share all the details about Eren yet. She told her friend that the guy from the bar invited her to a strange-looking place, and wanted to know if she should go.
“Did you two fuck?”
Mikasa frowned, realizing that Sasha can’t see her over the phone.
“No Sash, we didn’t. He’s a friend.”
“Oh, okay.”, there was a crack on the other side as she probably munched on another potato chip, “And is he a friend-friend, or friend-you-would-like-to-fuck?”
“Why is that the question?”
Sasha giggled.
“Dunno just wanted to ask.”
“You’re not helping at all….”
“Because it's easy! You either trust that guy and go or don’t trust him, block his number and never see him again. Boom, solved!”
If only it was so simple.
Yet when the day rolled around, Mikasa woke up with a decision in her mind. She’s going to go there. Eren was a great friend, and she was curious about this whole thing. She will be masked, anonymous, and if there is something she won’t like, the door will be there. This raised another question, however, of what does one wear to a BDSM club.
Mikasa, in her vanilla life, did not feel the need to buy anything made of leather or latex and wasn’t about to start now. There was one pair of leather paints she used to own until one day a completely random guy on the street told her that her ass looks really good in them. Mikasa threw those pants right out that evening. Public exposure was something she was NOT looking for. So, she had a small variety to choose from anyway. Mostly jeans, one or two skirts and a single dress that she wore to prom and that probably wouldn’t fit her anymore. Standing in front of the wardrobe, she contemplated calling Sasha again but ultimately decided against it. Mikasa Ackerman is a grown woman. She can choose her own clothes, damn it.
In the end, it was just a simple shirt and jeans combo. She reasoned that it added to her secretiveness, as anyone could wear what she was wearing. Satisfied with her completely basic appearance, she headed for the door, grabbing the keys and popping her head into the kitchen.
“I’m heading out.”, she announced, “Borrowing the car too.”
“Oh? And you tell me now?”, Levi tsked, shaking his head, “Damn brat, you really have no manners. When will you be back?”
“Later, maybe tomorrow. Don’t wait up.”
The words were already forming in Levi’s mouth, but Mikasa spoke faster.
“I’m an adult, so please. Just don’t.”
And, to her surprise, he didn’t.
“Fine. But if there is even a single scratch on the car, I’m taking it out of your paycheck.”
“That’s fair. I’ll see you later then.”
“Later.”, he was already half-turned back towards the Tv, before he added, “Drive safely.”
And that’s how, an hour and a half later, she was standing in front of a completely unassuming building. The door was just like any other, with a small sign and everything, not strange in the slightest. The security guard might have been a bit of a giveaway. He was tall, wide and dressed in a tailored suit that fit him perfectly. When Mikasa approached, he sized her up and down.
“I’m afraid that this is a members only club.”, he spoke in low barytone, “Do you have a card?”
“I uhh... I was told that I can come in. I’m a friend of Eren, my name is Mi-…”
The guard raised a hand before she could finish.
“No names, please. We pride ourselves on anonymity.”
Seeing Mikasa nod, he continued.
“Mr. Yeager did tell me that someone might be coming and that I should let them straight in. So I will do just that.”, he stepped aside, “Once you enter, the masks will be to your right, and after choosing one please don’t forget to return it. Enjoy your stay.”
Mumbling her thanks, Mikasa dipped inside, finding herself in a small room. There were the masks, just as the guard said, and another door that led to the club itself. She could hear muted music coming through. First things first, she stepped closer to the selection, casting an inspecting eye over it. There were several types, all possible shapes and sizes form full hoods to tiny eye-masks. After a bit of healthy consideration, she grabbed a black one that covered the upper half of her face, more than enough to remain anonymous. It was not likely that she would meet anyone that knew her anyway, let’s be honest. Masked, ready as ever, curious and wanting to see more, Mikasa took a deep breath and entered the door, stepping right into Eren’s world.
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guessmonsta · 4 years
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hello my queen... returned to her castle I see? Could you please do a thing just like the Kuroo one except Kuroo is Bokuto's wingman? I'm so soft for them and you ohmygoodness
You’re adorable and I appreciate you so much. For legal reasons I created a fake cafe called The Gazelle. I’ve used it like twenty times if this is a real place I’m so sorry
It was a very rare occurrence for Bokuto to be awake before noon on a weekend. It was even rarer that he was sprinting across campus to get to Kuroo’s dorm at nine in the morning. Campus custodians gave him weird looks, girls walking to their professors office hours giggled at him, but he just kept running.
Kuroo lived on the eighth floor in the farthest dormitory building from Bokuto’s. He ran up the stairs, skipping two as he went, and once he finally got to Kuroo’s door, he didn’t even bother to knock, he just slammed his fist against the door in one harsh blow.
From inside, he heard Kuroo mutter a quick, “fucking hell,” to his roommate before the door swung open in his face. Kuroo didn’t look amused, and scanned Bokuto up and down before he snorted, covering up his mouth with his hand.
“I’m not gonna judge your lifestyle bro,” Kuroo snorted, “but literally, what the hell.”
“Listen, hear me out,” Bokuto began, still slightly out of breath. “The cute girl who works at The Gazelle has a shift right now.”
“What?” Kuroo stared at him dumbfounded. “How do you know that?”
“Me and, and a couple of my friends from statistics have been taking notes on each time she works. She always works Saturday mornings so-” Kuroo cut him off by laughing again, then stepped out into the hallway and motioned Bokuto to start walking. No matter the situation, no matter how ridiculous it sounded, Kuroo was always readily available for anything Bokuto had in mind.
“So you’ve been stalking this girl?”
“Bro, I’m not stalking her, I’m just admiring her. A-and that admiration has gotten to a kind of unhealthy level to me personally, as a person.”
“Wait, so have you actually ever even talked to this girl?” Kuroo asked, and was faced with Bokuto widening his eyes. “Dude, you’ve gawked at her every single time we’ve gone, and you haven’t even talked to her?”
“I ordered a hot cocoa from her that one time-” Bokuto sighed, “I sound like a simp.”
“Bro, you aren’t a simp. What you are is stupid. How the hell are you going to work together with your statistics friends to recreate some random girls' work schedule but you all have a D in the class?”
“Listen-” Bokuto laughed. “Sora says that she has dyscalculia, and that the rest of us probably have it too. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, Kuroo. Sorry I can’t be a perfect chem major like you.” He teased, socking Kuroo in the arm. Kuroo winced slightly, then punched him back.
“Yeah, you have your strengths for sure.”
“Okay, so I’m probably gonna actually talk to her today.”
“Wow, making big boy moves.” Kuroo laughed, “Where’s this coming from?”
“I can’t tell if it’s fake confidence or adrenaline!” Bokuto shrugged. “Both work!”
Once they entered the cafe, the familiar smell of coffee beans, warmth, and just a tinge of something else hit Bokuto and made him so much more nervous. Why should he be nervous? He was hot. He was sexy. He was 6’2 of big beefy muscle and fat ass, he shouldn’t be afraid of rejection!
But then he saw her. __ hair pulled back into two pigtail french braids as she politely took a stoners order at the counter. He finally got to see her eyes, they were __, pretty __ eyes and the cutest little smile and this cute little way her nose scrunched up when she did-
Kuroo was laughing at him. Kuroo was doubled over Bokuto’s shoulder, absolutely wheezing at him, and Bokuto no longer knew how to feel.
“Bro, not cool!”
“You’re just-” Kuroo started cackling, his signature loud witch cackle, and Bokuto felt his face flush red. The pretty barista made eye contact with him at the sound of Kuroo’s laugh, cocked an eyebrow, then went back to her order. The butterflies promptly returned to his stomach.
“The way you looked at her bro-” Kuroo hiss whispered. “Priceless.” 
“Get your shit together dude, you gotta be my wingman!”
“How the hell am I supposed to do that?” Kuroo managed to choke out between laughs. “This is too much.”
“You’re horrible! I can’t be my own wingman! How am I supposed to hype myself up without looking like a complete jackass-”
Before Bokuto could finish, he realized that they were next up to order. Pretty __ Eyes looked at him and cocked her head, a shy, playful smile crossing her cheeks.
“Hi there! How can I help you today?” She chirped. Awh, even her customer service voice was adorable, he thought to himself. He sighed, trying to suppress a goofy smile on his face. Somehow, Kuroo got it together enough to stammer out, “Hey, hi, yeah, can I get uhhhh… iced latte with oat milk and vanilla flavoring please?” like a dork would.
Bokuto was so caught up thinking about how the prettiest girl in the world was somehow working at a cafe and not walking the runway, and why Kuroo would order something with oat milk out of all things, to even realize that he had to order next. Before he could snap out of his daze, he heard Kuroo laugh.
“Sorry about my friend. When he was born, all his brain cells were converted into sexy instead.”
The barista covered her mouth with her hand to suppress a laugh, and Bokuto felt a hot blush run up his neck. He would’ve punched Kuroo in the arm, but figured he had to keep his cool.
“I-” The barista giggled, not even trying to hold back her laugh. “I mean, yeah, good for him?”
“Oh yeah.” Kuroo leaned his arm up on the counter. There was nobody else behind them, and Kuroo knew what he was doing. “I mean look at the guy. Seventy four inches of pure, raw sex. Do you like volleyball?”
At this point, Pretty __ Eyes was borderline hysterics. Bokuto was starting to think Kuroo was less of a wingman and more of his own, personal jester.
“Yeah, I played in high school.” She responded. Cute, and played volleyball? Bokuto just felt the blush just hotter. 
“Yeah, this guy right here, Owlboy Sexyman, he was the fourth best ace in the country, don’t you know. Fukurodani’s captain.”
“Oh wow, you guys went to Fukurodani?”
“Nah, just him. I’m not even a fragment of how cool Mr. Sexyman here is.” Kuroo pointed at him with his thumb, then shook his head. “And he has a fat ass.”
She laughed, and shook her head.
“And does Owlboy Sexyman want anything today?”
At this point, Bokuto couldn’t hide his blush. He knew if he opened his mouth to start talking, he would end up sounding like a dog toy.
So he just stood there.
Kuroo sighed, and kicked him in the shin, which caused him to jump.
“Seems like he’s just too damn sexy today! No brain cells in sight. He’ll take a large iced hot chocolate with extra whip.”
“Sounds great.” She giggled. “Since you guys literally just made my whole shift, I’m gonna give you twenty percent off today.”
“Thank you, you’re a doll.”
When they stepped aside to pay for their drinks, Bokuto burst out laughing. Kuroo looked down at him, and choked back another cackle.
“Did you like what I did there?”
“You-” Bokuto snorted, “Are so fucking stupid.”
“Ah, it’s my specialty.”
“That definitely did not work at all. If anything, she probably likes you from that whole show you put on.”
“Nah, she didn’t look interested in me. Worst case scenario, at least we made a pretty girl laugh at your expense!”
“Yeah, I guess.” Bokuto shrugged.
“Iced latte for Kuroo!” Pretty __ Eyes called out, then handed the drink gingerly over to him. He took a dramatic sip, then sighed.
“Hits the spot.”
“How the heck do they even… milk an oat.” Bokuto muttered, and Kuroo shrugged.
“I dunno. How do they milk almonds?”
“Do almonds have boobs?” Bokuto asked, a little bit too loud.
“Iced hot chocolate for Owlboy Sexyman!”
The moment she announced this, Bokuto wheezed, and Kuroo spit his coffee out in the most violent, dramatic, and cartoonish way possible. Bokuto didn’t know whether or not to keep laughing, or start crying. Kuroo had iced coffee dribbling down his neck like a toddler, but even he himself couldn’t stop laughing.
Bokuto looked up to see Pretty __ Eyes hunched over the serving station convulsing as well. Bokuto walked over to her, and bowed his head in shame, all while laughing.
“I am so-”
“Who the hell are you two!” She stammered between giggles. Bokuto noticed her eyes were brighter when she laughed. He had managed to stop laughing but the smile on his face only grew. She was beautiful and he had no idea how to handle it.
“I am so, so sorry.”
“Don’t worry.” She shook her head. “Your friend has to clean that up, because I’m definitely not going to.”
“He will, he will. “Bokuto looked back over at Kuroo, who was still laughing to himself hysterically, his face buried in his hands. “I promise we’re not on drugs.” 
“Hey, it’s college. No judgement.” She smiled, Her fingertips brushed his as she handed him his drink. He noticed that she had scribbled her number on the side of the cup, and the dying blush on his face returned. His mouth gaped a little bit, then he looked back up at her.
“My name is not actually Owlboy Sexyman.”
“I would hope not.” She smiled. “I’m __, by the way.”
“I’m Bokuto.”
“Bokuto.” She repeated, then smiled. “We should hang out sometime. I don’t know many other people around here who play volleyball.”
“Oh, wow, I-” Bokuto nodded and smiled, looking a little bit dumb as he did. “That’s awesome! That’s great! That’s great.”
“See you around then?” She cocked her head. Bokuto nodded a little bit too aggressively.
“I’ll see you around!”
__ shot him one last smile before she turned around and walked back to the order counter. Bokuto sighed a deep sigh, and sat back down next to Kuroo, whose shirt was covered in spit and coffee.
“Dude, you did it.”
Kuroo looked up at him from his hands, and smiled.
“Shit, I would hope so, because this oat milk is fucking disgusting.”
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i am very much enjoying my vague void! it's currently blasting hozier at full volume and that's almost louder than my internal screaming (don't worry, everything is fine, i just saw a spider)
i've never once in my life have followed a recipe correctly. all of my measurements are completely random and whatever happens happens. it is no longer in my hands. whatever eldritch entities exist take the wheel. and i absolutely refuse to spell anything in english without autocorrect because y'all have way too many double letters and random vowel placement
thank you! sadly, i won't have a break right now, because we just had christmas vacations, but the start of the new semester is always pretty chill. and you're absolutely right, i should take up necromancy! the snow and the cold will add to my mysterious vibes. i just need to get a big black cape with a hood to complete the aesthetic
i definitely picture everything above 5'6 feet as the same height. 5'7 and 6'2? the exact same thing. no difference here
how is morepork a real bird name. it's just... more pork? but the bird is magnificent. i completely approve of your first order as bird queen, not that you need approval from mere peasants like me, but it's a great order. ohhh salps look really cool, and it does look a lot like it! when you said boob implant i thought of mermaids and them using salps as boob implants but then i realised wait wouldn't jellyfish be better for that? because of their shape? ignoring their little leggies they're quite boob shaped, no? and then i realised that i was thinking about mermaids and alive boob implants... if i had to think it, you have to read it. i'm sorry
i was sold before but now i'm even more sure that i want to hire you. and I'll make sure to have lactose free cheese for the backflips (unless you want the lactose version? i'm not judging). will the biting of ankles cost extra?
that sounds like a brilliant set-up for a horror movie where they kill off all the children one by one. it's absolutely horrifying. if something like that would've happened to me i would've most likely just passed out. whatever happens afterwards is not my problem. and now i really don't want to know what the hell your leg was caught on because that seems like knowledge that would get me killed
ah so you're a fellow dirt eater? according to my mom my favourite thing to do outside when i was a little kid used to be eating sand. just shovelling handfuls of it into my mouth and crying when my mom made me spit it out. which i refuse to believe. if there are no photos it didn't happen
you warm climate people are starting to make me think that i'm better adjusted to the cold than i thought i am! it's either that or our buildings are better heated. i definitely don't know if anyone else calls hot water bottled hotties but i like it so from now on i'm using it
that's so cute! i was clearly a way more selfish child because when i found any amount of money i just kept it and bought candy as soon as i could. i clearly couldn't save money then and i can't now. we have stores like that (or i'm assuming that they're like that solely based on how they sell lollies) and they used to be my favourite thing because you could get so many lollies for such a small price!! and my mom even used to let me order for myself sometimes so i always felt like a very big girl jsjshsbsjk
also the fact that i can't send pictures on anon is a crime (yes i know why and it's good that that's not possible because can you imagine anons being able to send pictures? oh no is all i have to say about it) but anyways. because i have this one super cursed photo that reminded me of you and now i can't share it :((
duuuuude, sick void bro. sounds like a vibing void. I feel like I haven’t seen a spider in awhile. Other than daddy long legs. But they’re chill. They mind their own business. 
I nearly always follow recipes exactly. My mum is like oh cook this for about 7 minutes? Yeah sure. I’ll take a wild guess. I’m like they say exactly 7 minutes so I’ll set a timer for 7 minutes and start a stopwatch so if it does seem to need more than 7 I can keep an eye on the extra time and be aware of exactly how long it takes me for next time. Other people are like oh let's see I have [lists 5-10 things in their fridge], hmm...oh I know what I could make with that! I’m like I have beans in my freezer because one recipe required them and no other recipes I know how to make do so what am I supposed to do with these now,,, this is stressful,,, basically I barely know how to cook and recipes are the only things saving me in that area. That is entirely fair. Except for the fuck duck, and murder is not the word you want surely, situations, it’s pretty helpful.
Ohhh I see. At least the start is chill! For a little! Before your entire situation spirals out of hand and you’re behind in every class and it’s taken you a whole day to read 10 pages and you’re exhausted and it’s only week 2. Just me? ok. fair. anyway. I want a cloak so bad. One of my uni friends tempted me to class because she said she was wearing a cloak so my depressed ass honest to god dragged myself out of bed and to said class just to see it. It was worth it. They’re incredible. Everyone should own a big cloak for the aesthetic.
I’m glad it isn’t just me hahaha. I can visualise my own height in feet but everything else is just the same size that is a vague amount taller than me, mentally.
It’s also known as the ruru. But the name morepork amuses me. It’s named after the call it makes haha. It does sound like it’s asking for more pork if you know to listen for that. thank u for ur approval, it means a lot, turns out becoming bird queen didn’t ACTUALLY get rid of my anxiety disorder weirdly enough so validation is great! lmaooo. What if the jellyfish stung them tho? At least salps wouldn’t do you dirty like that. The mermaids would just look like there are hundreds of bugs crawling around in their boobs, flesh shifting as they float around. Which is a vibe. If you’re into that. Jellyfish WOULD make a more solid, single, implant, some of them are definitely boob shaped. But that’s kinda boring no one’s gonna be traumatised by that. Salps on the other hand...yeah, that sight will DEFINITELY traumatise someone.
To be PERFECTLY honest I haven’t done a backflip in years but for lactose-free cheese? Dude. I’ll be going back to training. Gonna be the best backflip you’ve ever seen. As long as it’s not Tasty cheese I am content, but lactose free IS better. The biting of ankles will not cost extra, it is a pleasure to be allowed to do that.
Oh it absolutely would be. It’d be very funny if it reached the wider world bc people would probably be like ok but who would send kids into the bush like that,, it’s an odd concept. meanwhile everyone who grew up in nz is gonna be like y’all, you’re not gonna fuckin BELIEVE what i experienced growing up, it’s real dude. On one hand, I feel like murdering kids in a movie is questionable, on the other hand, It exists, so maybe people would be down for it. I feel like it’d be a good concept even if it wasn’t murdery tho. Like psychological horror? I’m not sure if I’m using that category correctly I don’t watch much horror. A kid following the rope but then being shifted into a different horror dimension but they never take the blindfold off because their teachers said not to and they’d probably have to let go of the rope to do it...I feel like this could work super well as a short film. The viewers see everything. The child just knows something is off and no one is coming when they call for help. I am so down for this. I also do not want to know what my leg was caught on. Some things I am better off not knowing.
yes! I am a fellow dirt eater! We had a sandpit at home (that’s a little bold. It was a large plastic shell that my parents filled with sand. technically a sandpit. but not fancy sdflsdkfsdf) but I don’t think I ever tried to eat it. Then again, I possibly did and just don’t remember because there’s no photo evidence of that one. I’d have to ask my parents sdfhsjdfs, I would however fully believe them if they said yes. it’s very characteristic of me. I don’t doubt it for a second. muuuum that’s my emotional support sand don’t make me spit it out smh the disrespect these days.
Oh I’m absolutely terrible even by most people’s standards around here when it comes to cold and hot temperatures. I remember sitting in the sun in my school shirt and school jersey in summer on a blazing day like it’s a bit chilly, isn’t it? Meanwhile my friends were in the shade absolutely dying from the heat. Likewise in winter I’d be shivering, teeth chattering, dying with my long sleeve thermal, my school shirt, my school jersey, my school jacket, my longs, warm socks and sneakers and gloves and school scarf while ppl would be walking around in a shirt and shorts like it’s a bit warm this winter huh? my body didn’t learn how to thermoregulate and it shows. But yeah NZ does also have a reputation for shittily insulated buildings and such. It shows. skhdfsfs if it’s not common use maybe don’t say can i have a hotty to someone without context but otherwise go ahead lmao. it’s a fun shortened version.
I was typically a very good saver, to the point where my extended family started gifting me gift cards and vouchers for Christmas and my birthday because if they just gave me money I’d put it in my bank account to save towards uni once I hit like, 12 years old. Which I think was a smart move. But apparently, I’m supposed to buy myself ‘something nice’ with it. I think I’m still an okay saver but I’m not as strict anymore. I’m aware of how much I can spare and I’m not just like you can never get anything for yourself ever, so I do get lil things for myself sometimes. oooo yay! At least you know what I mean. But yes. They were the gold mine for lollies. Absolutely terrific stores. My mum would be like hey lindsey how about you order? And I’d be like mother, I am 7 years old and I have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder everyone assumes is child shyness why would you think I would want to do that. Instead I will whisper my choices to you. After therapy tho I felt pretty rad for picking my own lollies by myself. I was like 13 at that point but sdfkjhsdf listen I got there in the end.
sdfkjsdfkjhsdf I like that a cursed photo reminded you of me. That’s all I need to hear. Tumblr said no anon dick pics but they also said no anon cursed photos either,,, very sad. for the latter part. the first part thank god. If I could turn on photos on anon I absolutely would just to see this but I don’t think I can :(
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ripspaghet · 4 years
Text
bff | 03
↳ series m.list | 00 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 |
→ pairing: yoongi x reader
→ word count: 4,062
Prologue Summary; Your best friend’s boyfriend takes an unhealthy interest in you and just as he shows up something from your past starts to creep up on you again. Could this strange and mysterious man have something to do with it? And should you trust him, or your instincts to run far, far away from him?
→ warnings: none yet.
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“____, come on. I know I can be boring when I teach but, please, at least act like you’re listening?” The odor of old books and dust wafted through musky air. Rarely any students come here anymore, opting to study elsewhere or not at all. So, it’s fairly quiet except for the few crickets jumping around outside the glass doors of the stuffy library. 
“Ah, uh, sorry.” You pull your attention away from the tiled floor to look at your friend. He’s leaning over the table your both sat at. His long body looks awkward scrunched up in the small library chair, almost like he’s a grown man sitting in something made for a toddler. 
 A sigh passes his lips, “Let’s just call it a day. If you can’t focus it’s better to just get some sleep and study another time.” You nod along with his suggestion. He was beyond right. There’s no way you’re gonna be able to focus any time soon. Not when those dreams are still looming around in your mind and you remain unable to properly remember anything, which is no surprise but only furthers your annoyance.
“Oh, that reminds me! Sorry, I almost forgot to tell you. I’m going to be out of town for the next few days and won’t be able to help you study. Don’t panic though, I have a friend that agreed to help you until I’m back. He knows all about this stuff. He took it last year.”
Your shoulders fall limp, “You what?”
He began sliding his textbooks back into his bag with his other belongings, “I know, but it can’t be helped. My family is having a getaway and my parents wanted me to take a break with them.”
You click your tongue, “Only Kim Namjoon’s parents would want their kid to take a break from school. My mom might have my head if I ever even thought about taking a break. She’d think I was trying to drop out.”
Namjoon chuckled heartily, “I’ll be back before you know it. Don’t stress. My friend probably knows more about this stuff than me anyways. I’ll text you his number.”
“Is your friend Einstein??”
“Something like that, I guess.”
“Seriously,” You groan, losing your composure, and leaning back into your chair, “how could you do this to me? What if this guy tries to assault me or something? You can’t just leave me with some random.”
“You know, the more you hang out with Jimin the more you start to sound like him. This guy isn’t like that, trust me.”
“Jimin? What’s that supposed to-” A fist slams down on the table and you and Namjoon nearly jump out of your seats, “You’re leaving?!”
“Oh, Taehyung,” Namjoon laughs nervously, regaining his composure. 
“Who’s gonna help me with my creative writing class?! I came here to ask you for help.” 
You raise an eyebrow at the boy, “What the hell are you in a creative writing class for?” Taehyung doesn’t spare you a glance, keeping his eyes fixed on Namjoon, who’s checking twice for all his belongings.
“____ can help you with creative writing. She’s good with that stuff.”
Taehyung’s head whips over to you his eyes widened, “Really?”
“What?“ You adjust yourself to sit up straight in your chair, "Namjoon, don’t tell him that, I’m too busy as is. I can’t help him. Absolutely not.”
“Surely you could squeeze in a minute or two.”
“Namjoon,”
“It can’t be helped.”
“Namjoon.” 
He just smiles at you knowingly, “I’ll be going. The weekend calls. Have fun you two.”
“Wait-”
“Bye, ____. Get home safe.” Your eyes flicker over to Taehyung and you squint up at him in irritation. He’s looking at you expectantly, tapping his foot.
"I’m sure Jimin can help you." 
"You-”
“I don’t have the time.” You gather up your belongings, not sparing Taehyung another glance as you make your escape.
You’d made a habit out of avoiding Taehyung since you’d met him, as you did for all the frat guys at your university. It wasn’t anything personal - it's just that the whole school knows that they're bad news. In other words, party every night until we can’t walk straight anymore and mess around with as many girls as we want, types of bad news.
Your feet drag lazily across water-covered concrete once you make it outside. It had stopped raining for the time being, but that didn’t change the fact that it was now below freezing out due to the sun being replaced by a moon that was hidden behind dull rain clouds. The streets were empty aside from the few people making their way home from a late shift at work. 
“You will soon.”
You grimace. Why is it so familiar? A voice very gravelly and intense, where have heard it before? You purse your lips in thought. Just at the remembrance of a voice, red begins to color your cheeks and your hands grow clammy. What is this? You’d never felt this way before. Except when reading something similar to a thrilling romance book. The dream had been so seemingly real, the voice so close to your ear that it was impossible to deny how intimate the situation had been.
You groan in frustration. Jimin can’t possibly be right about it being a wet dream though. “Right, because you never talk with any other man besides me.” You roll your eyes. You should’ve punched him in the gut right then. Plenty of guys talk to you, it’s just that you’re so obviously uninterested that they grow bored easily. You’re not interested in just some fling.
“Excuse me?” A tap on your shoulder drags you out of your whirlpool of thoughts, “You dropped this.” You turn, a bit startled to see a gold necklace dangled from elegant fingers, the gold clashing with the pale skin it rests on. 
Deja vu.
“Oh, thank you.” You take the necklace from his fingers. It must have fallen from around your neck without you noticing.
“Oh,” 
You lifted your gaze up from the gold now resting in the palm of your hand and meet brown orbs, that almost come off as black under the harsh yellow-toned street lamps. His dark hair hangs just above his eyes in unruly waves.
“Yoongi, ” 
An expression of slight uninterest bores into your eyes despite his surprised tone, “What are you doing out so late?” Your hands attempt to bury themselves deeper into their pockets, a knot forming in the pit of your stomach as a familiar feeling of warmth consuming your chest.
“It not that late, is it?” You force a small smile that probably ended up looking a nervous cry for help. 
He glances around at the dark city surrounding the two of you, “Seeing as it twelve o'clock at night, I’d say it is.“ 
"I was studying at the library with a friend. Lost track of time I suppose.” Another awkward smile.
“I’ll walk you home.”
“N-no, I’m fine. You don’t need to do that. My place isn’t too far and I always walk home late. I’ll be fine.”
“I insist.” His voice is firm and strict, making his words come off as more of a demand, rather than a suggestion.
“Ok, I-I guess it’s fine, ”
The walk home is quiet. You don’t spare another glance in Yoongi’s direction despite the taunting urge to. It didn’t help any that it felt like his eyes were constantly glancing over. How had the atmosphere between the two changed so much in such little time? How come you felt so utterly scandalous under his gaze? You can’t help but feel your insides coil as silence settles over the two of you and remain in it for the rest of the way to your dorm. And despite a nagging feeling telling you otherwise, nothing happens.
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The next day is another cold one, but instead of there being snow, there’s a thin layer of ice stuck to the ground as gentle rain pats down against it. Namjoon texted you his friend’s number and address this morning and informed you he’d already talked to him about it. And as per usual, decisions were made without your consent. It was bad enough you had to get up early on a weekend for work, but now instead of head straight home to bed, you have to rush off to study with some random.
"I’m so sick of the smell of coffee. I go home, my clothes smell like coffee. I go to bed, my bed smells like coffee. Drag my ass out of bed and come here, to smell what? Coffee. It’s not even nice smelling coffee either. It’s bitter and too strong, like diesel gasoline.” You keep your eyes fixed on the coffee shop’s glass doors, opting to wait for the next custom rather than acknowledge your babbling coworker. 
Namjoon told you that his friend had no other free time to spare. So, it was in the morning, or never.
“I mean, can’t they at least make it smell good? Heaven knows it already tastes like crap.” You learned rather quickly after taking this job that entertaining this man’s ranting would only add to the flames. You pity the people who walk in unknowingly and spark up a conversation with him simply for his good looks, to later find out that his mouth never shuts while doing something he despises, which would pertain to his entire job. 
“____, are you even listening to me?” His voice goes up an octave, bringing his eyebrows along for the ride.
Reluctantly you turn your head away from the doors and stare blandly at his wide rounded eyes and parted lips, “Yes, Seokjin, I’m hearing every word of what you’re saying.”
He studies you for a moment before speaking again, something he rarely does, “Ah, that’s right, you’re not a morning person. I’m sure you have it much worse. I can’t imagine already being in a bad mood and having to come here.”
“Mhm,”
“And the customers are always so rude in the morning. I don’t know how you manage." 
You don’t know how you’ve been able to keep yourself from shoving a bag of coffee beans down his throat, "Yeah,”
Work drags on as normal and as soon as the clock strikes 9:40 am you hang up your apron and fly out the door with the speed of light, completely ignoring Seokjin who calls after you, nagging about you not bothering to even tell him goodbye. 
Once outside you follow your phone’s navigation down multiple streets, your hood up while you grip an arm around your waist in a sad attempt to retain even the smallest amount of body heat. Winter, what a season that you hated to love.
“You have arrived at your destination.”
You halt. Well, that wasn’t all too far. Looking up your gaze meets a tall luxurious building.
“Madam, may I assist you?" 
You startle not realizing the man standing next to the building’s entryway, "Uh, yes? Maybe? I’m meeting a friend of mine. Would you happen to know someone by the name of Namjoon?” In your awestruck confusion, you figured that maybe the mention of Namjoon’s name would help in some way. You mean, Namjoon is the one who recommended the person who supposedly lives in, what appears to be, a tower of silver and gold.
“Ah, yes, follow me, Madam. I will show you to the floor." 
"Ok,” Your voice turns into a small whisper as you look up the building again, feeling the sheer intimidation it radiates. This can’t be the place. 
You follow the doorman inside as he leads you to an elevator at the center of a spacious lobby. Seeing as how early it is in the morning it’s not unprecedented that the whole place is empty. Most rich people probably leave as early as five in the morning to get a head start for the day, you’d assume.
“The Master is in the penthouse so we will be going rather high up. If you have a fear of heights I’d recommend avoiding the windows.” Your stomach turns as the elevator doors shut and you’re lurched up. The elevator dings each time it passes a floor and eventually you start to think that, maybe you’re going to hurl out of the top of the building and fall all the way back down to the ground because how could there be this many floors?? You supposed it was a fitting fate for one as tired as you. At least then you be getting some kind of rest.
“The Master?”
“All will be explained by the Master himself.” The doorman doesn’t even spare you a glance, his attention remaining on the rising floor number. 
“Oh,” You nod and look away wondering what exactly Namjoon had signed you up for this time. Perhaps you were about to mean a famous business leader or a master of the arts? Knowing Namjoon had set this up left nothing off the table. That guy could probably arrange a meeting with the president of the United States with his whole family’s well regarded social status.
“Here we are, Madam. Be sure to push the doorbell before entering. The Master treasurers his privacy."  The doorman bows his head and you step out of the elevator before closing the doors with the press of a button and ascending back down. 
You turn to face the other way and push the doorbell to a pair of tall smooth wooden doors as instructed. But as you wait nothing happens. You hear nothing as a whole minute ticks away and you debate just going back down in the elevator to head home for your bed. Failing any of your classes isn’t an option for you though. You hesitantly ring the bell again and pull out your phone double-checking the address just in case. It wouldn’t be all too surprising if you were in the wrong place. What kind of person around your age, that just finished school a year ago, could afford a place like this?
Once again no one comes to let you in and your impatiens begin to teeter. You swear, if this guy made you come all the way out here this early in the morning just to stand you up, you’d kill Namjoon. So, with that thought in mind, you place your index finger back on the doorbell and let it have a piece of your mind. The dinging rings out over and over again. And finally, after what felt like a thousand dings you hear a door slam from somewhere inside the penthouse, then muffled swear words and stomping just before the large door is swung open so fast you feared it might be yanked off its hinges.
"What the hell do you want from me?!” A familiar head of messy black hair, that’s even messier than normal is laid over the wrong side of his head makes you gasp. His eyes are squinted and puffy as they stare back at you in an uncouth manner.
“Uh-”
“Wait,” He’s eyes get bigger and he reaches up to rub the sleep out of his eyes almost like he’s seeing things, “____?”
Your eyes dart away awkwardly as you try to find words to say in response, “I’ll be leaving now.” You turn on your heel to run for the elevator.
“Shit, are you Namjoon’s friend that needs tutoring? Fuck, I completely forgot about that.” You could tell from the sound of his voice he was running his fingers through that messy black hair of his, but you continued walking. Fuck that guy for being attractive. You’re getting the hell out of here. No more coincidental run-ins.
“Quite alright, no need to apologize. I’ll be going now.”
“No!” He ran out in front of you to block the elevator buttons, nearly falling down in his haste to stop you, “I mean, ” He paused hardening the expression, “I promised Namjoon I’d help you. You can’t just leave.” You looked him up and down. It was strange seeing this, a side of him normally only a girlfriend or best friend would see when you’d only just met. And you barely being qualified enough to be called an acquaintance made it so it shouldn’t have been a problem to feel so awkward, if it hadn’t been for a tiny part you that was thinking about how good Min Yoongi, not only looked in casual clothes but looked without a shirt in black baggy joggers, with bedhead, sporting a sleepy voice. In fact, the more you looked at the man the more pissed off you became. How dare he tempt you in sullying your friendship with Mina by looking like that.
Suddenly taking notice in your lingering gaze Yoongi tried composing himself, putting his hand atop his head in an attempt to hide his mess of hair, “Namjoon will kill me if I go back on my word. Just come inside.”
“Put some clothes on.” You spun around in annoyance, striding into the penthouse. In all honesty, you’d rather jump from this floor to the ground than stay here, but Yoongi had reminded you why you were here. Namjoon is gone and won’t be back until the day of the presentations and you know there’s no way in hell you’d manage on your own with an unfinished project that you knew would remain that way if not given a helping hand. You know yourself well enough to know that being uninformed and out of ideas would lead to you throwing in the towel without having even tried to make a fully finished piece.
Yoongi was close on your heels, shutting the door behind him, “Actually, I thought I’d tutor you naked. Just to switch things up a bit.”
“Excuse me?!” You spun again almost sure you’d get whiplash. Yoongi was just watching your reaction in amusement and it dawned on you he was being sarcastic.
“Just a joke, ____.”
You glared, “Yeah? Well, I’d appreciate if you didn’t joke about such things with me.”
He chuckled almost endearingly, “Why?”
“Why? What do you- You know what? This is inappropriate. I’m leaving.” Judging from this conversation you had no doubt in your mind that this man had the capability of cheating on your best friend. 
You went for the door but Yoongi grabbed your upper arm before you could get past him, “You really shouldn’t take me seriously, ____. Now, stop being a child and let’s get this over with.” He removed his hand from around your arm as if it had never been there, to begin with, and walks away from you. “I’m going to put a shirt on and I’ll meet you back in here. Make yourself comfortable.” You feel like you’ve just undergone a full 360 in a short amount of time since you entered his home. Why are you here again?
Surveying up his home you walk further into what seems to be a rather cozy living room. All the colors in the room are either warm or extremely dark, except for the occasional white pillow or blanket laying around. Even the floor is tiled with warm reddish wood. The pitch-black walls contrast against the brightness flooding in through a window that covers the whole outer wall of the room. It’s similar to homes you’d only ever seen in magazines or movies.
“Wow,” you breathe out and take a seat down on a long black leather couch in the center in the room. The place has probably been professionally decorated just to Yoongi’s liking.
“Would you like something to drink? Have you eaten?”
You jump, startled, “N-no, I’m alright.”
He nods and holds a notebook out to you now sported a baggy black sweatshirt and unruly combed hair, “Here,” You hesitantly take it from him as he takes a seat next to you, “these are my old notes from when I was in school. They should be helpful. Is there anything in particular that you’re having trouble with?”
“Ah,” Right that’s what you came here for, “I’m not very good at this music stuff which is why I needed Namjoon’s help. Its extra credit for me is all. I’m majoring in film.” You pull your bag from your side, taking out all your own notes, a few hefty textbooks, and your laptop.
“What is your focus for the project then?” He leans over you watching as you open up all the proper program on your laptop. You nervously fidget, feeling your skin heat up and try leaning away from him without it being noticeable, “I want to present a completed song.” Yoongi gives you a look of ‘You can’t be fucking serious right?’ And you sigh, “Listen, I know I don’t even major in music and don’t really know what I’m doing, so it’s dumb of me to try this. But, I have a great love for music even though it isn’t my major. If I do something with this,” You point at your laptop screen, “I want it to be my very best. I really wanna try at it and I think I can hit all the points, I just need the opinion of a professional.”
He looks at you for a while before finally speaking, “You know, me helping you with this is kind of cheating.” You rose an eyebrow at him, gesturing that he elaborates. “It wouldn’t be fair to all the other students. Can’t you just choose a different route? Like, I don’t know? Doing a piece you’d put into a film or something? Something a little more down your alley?”
You shake your head, “I’ve already started. I don’t have the time to scrap anything and restart. Here,” You turn your attention back to the laptop and plug in a pair headphones then hand them to Yoongi, “Just listen and give me your thoughts.” Reluctantly he takes the headphones from you and puts them on. You press play and watch him closely, gauging his reaction as his breathe hitches not even five minutes into the song.
You quickly pause it and he takes off the headphones confused, “Was that you?”
“Was it bad? I suppose I can use auto-tune. That’s not breaking any rules right?”
“No, no, I mean,” He stops mid-sentence staring at you.
You turn away, facing your laptop, “You’re right, maybe I should just scrap it and start over.”
“No!” You flinched away from Yoongi at his sudden outburst, “No, you shouldn’t do that.” He’s to the laptop this time, studying all of your work, “It’s very good. It caught me off guard.” He puts the headphones back on then presses play again. You stare at him, in a loss for words. It was one thing to have Namjoon tell you your work was good when he was still in school, same as you. Yoongi, on the other hand, is already a music producer and judging by your surroundings he’s a very successful one.
“Is this all you have so far?” Yoongi slides the headphones back off, eyes on the screen of your laptop.
“Yeah…This is more of the ending rather than the beginning. I have parts written out and I’ve tried doing them myself like this but it just doesn’t sound the way I want it.”
Yoongi nods, “This has lots of potential. I’d like to see the beginning half. I think you can make an amazing piece with just this alone. I like how you’ve mixed the two genres. I can understand that it wouldn’t translate when using only your voice. With the way it flows, you’ll need to almost flip back a forth with two voices. Doing that will also add to the overall emotion in the song seeing as it’s a romantic piece. You’ll need someone with a lower octave that balances while with your own sound. Finding someone to do that should be hard as your voice is pretty enough on its own to captivate any listener. The difficult part is blending the just right amount of both that’s not overdoing it.”
You nod trying to ignore the flush you feel in your cheeks as you watch him flip from line to line on your recordings. 
“I’m impressed.” He looks up to you and instantly looks away.
“Thank you.”
.
.
.
tags
@im-emo-motherfuckers @team-wang-puppy @seokchella
49 notes · View notes
shirtlesssammy · 4 years
Text
5x05: Fallen Idols
Hey all! Welcome to Hate Watch Week! We’ve picked the best of the worst and are recapping them all week. These are our personal choices, and I’m sure they all (*but one*) have redeeming qualities, we just see the bad more than the good. Enjoy our snark  --and join in if you want :) (And if you’re still trying to guess our hiatus theme, this episode doesn’t count.) 
Then:
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Angst-a-thon!
Now:
We meet Jimmy and his pal, Cal, both race car enthusiasts. Well, enthusiasts for one sports car: James Dean’s Porsche 550 Spyder. While Jimmy runs to get the camera, Cal sits in the car, ready to start the “Little Bastard”. Only, the air gets frosty and the car radio flickers on. We hear a crash and Jimmy heads back to the garage to find Cal’s head smashed into the jagged edge of the convertible’s windshield. 
Sam and Dean are on the case! Sam wants to know why this case is so important --what with the devil and apocalypse and all. “This is what we’re doing, okay?” Dean insists. Dean highlights that they’ve been away from each other for a while (*Ahem* maybe I don’t like this episode as much because the last two episodes were just Dean and Cas having fun times together? IDK. 5x03 and 5x04 were a wild ride that I watch over and over again.) 
THE HORROR:
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They arrive at the local cop shop as FBI agents Bonham and Copeland. The local sheriff shows them the video “evidence” that Cal’s good buddy Jim killed him. The brothers are less than convinced.
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The sheriff applied Occam's Razor, and done and done. 
The brothers want to interview Jim anyway. He tells them what he heard from the house: tires squealing, glass breaking. The car killed Cal. It’s cursed. Jim mentions that it was “Little Bastard” that did it, and Dean’s eyes light up like a little boy at Christmas. OoooohhhHHHHooo. Dean and cars and, well, don’t tell me he never had a crush on James Dean. We all have had a crush on James Dean. Sam “I can’t be any more straight” Winchester has no flippin’ clue what’s going on. Dean insists they check out the car. Bby boy. 
They head to the car, and Dean takes a moment. Sam asks for some exposition. Dean explains that after James Dean died, the mechanic bought the wreckage and fixed the car. 
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The car fell on him, and death continues to follow the car wherever it goes (Ugh, I just went down a rabbit hole of what happened to the car and am now in a weird spiral of remembering how much I loved James Dean as a teen and how much Rebel Without A Cause meant to me. I’m not 90 years old. What a weird flex for a 1990’s kid to experience. But also not, since Dean’s right there with me, right?) 
Anyway, to really confirm if the car was James Dean’s, they’ve got to match the engine number. Dean heads under the car to confirm, begging the car to not hurt him first. Dean takes his sweet ass time being nervous and writing down the engine number, but he makes it out alive. He tasks Sam with tracking down all the owners.
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While Dean hangs at a bar, Sam discovers the car is a fake. 
Meanwhile, a nerdy man reflects on his day at his desk when the air gets frosty and he hears a creaking behind him. He turns and utters, “Oh my god, it’s you. You’re dead. You’re supposed to be dead.” Is it a long lost wife? An old rival? Nope. It’s a growling Abraham Lincoln. He chokes the nerd man until he becomes a victim of the blood cannon. Better angels of our nature, my ass. 
The agents meet the sheriff at the crime scene. They remark that there’s nothing strange about the victim dying of a gunshot wound where there’s no gun, no gunpowder, no bullet. Awkward. The brothers demand a reasonable explanation from the sheriff. He hunkers down and whispers, “Professional killer.” He’s thinking this is a Michael Clayton-type thing. And I love it because that’s the limit of his imagination. Sam and Dean know better but only because they live in the fringe of this world where monsters are real. 
Sam and Dean head to interview the victim’s maid, Consuela Alvarez. She’s very distressed, and can only speak Spanish. 
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Sam pulls out his freshman Spanish to save the day. I only remember “Donde esta el baño?” Good job, Sam! The killer was a tall man with a long black coat and a beard. And he wore a hat. A tall hat. Dean cracks the code: A stovepipe hat like Abraham Lincoln. DEAN BEAN, so street smart he doesn’t even realize how book smart he is. Sigh. “Abraham Lincoln killed Mr. Hill,” Consuela confirms. 
The brothers continue to research. Dean watches the car video frame by frame until he finds one frame of a blurred red coated figure ---and INSTANTLY guesses that it’s James Dean ---but like Jim Stark James Dean. It’s not like James Dean wore the damn red coat outside of that movie role, lol. (Sidenote: Fun fact: Fry from Futurama’s coat is modeled after that red coat.) 
Sam realizes that they’re dealing with famous ghosts that are killing their fans. (Sidenote: I hope Misha Collins never dies.) The brothers wonder why these ghosts are haunting Canton, Ohio. They do more research. 
The brothers head to the Canton Wax Museum. They marvel at all the random wax figurines (and Sam is taller than Lincoln? Hmmm. They’re the same height. #Borisisanerd) Dean makes fun of Gandhi and Sam defends him, but uh, nope, Sam, nope. 
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The museum curator shows up and the brothers introduce themselves as reporters for Travel Magazine. They’re writing an article on “how totally non-sucky wax museums are.” The curator points out that this place is unique. He points to Lincoln and tells the boys that’s actually Lincoln’s hat. Yep, he’s got real items from all the dead guys. 
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He’s going to make wax museums hip again. And OMG Sam’s little thumbs up in response. STOP. 
Later, Sam loads up on salt rounds and walks in on Dean talking to Bobby about him. Dean gets off the phone fast and dismisses Sam’s questioning about the call. Dean’s not 100% with Sam yet. They head out to finish the case. 
At the wax museum Dean starts poking around. Let the tomfoolery begin!
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Sam hauls out a metal trash can which they can use to torch all the priceless, one of a kind objects. (History-fan me cringes.) While he’s doing an ultra-close-up examination of Lincoln, the doors slam shut. Suddenly, Gandhi is on him! Gandhi is strong, he’s fast, and he’s out to kill. Dean torches Gandhi's watch and Sam’s attacker winks out. 
The next day, Sam mulls over the case in the motel room. Ghost Gandhi's quick disappearance has him troubled. He didn’t flame out like most ghosts, and he seemed almost zombie hungry. Sam thinks the hunger is uncharacteristic given Gandhi's tendency towards fruitarianism. (WWMGD? What would monster Gandhi do?) Dean dismisses Sam’s concerns, and Sam tells him that hunting together isn’t working. Dean doesn’t trust him. More than that, Dean’s trying to stick to their old patterns with the older brother telling the younger brother what to do. 
“Before didn’t work,” Sam tells him. That old dynamic chased Sam off into Ruby’s arms. “You’re gonna have to let me grow up.”
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Dean’s phone rings. It’s the local cops, calling about another terrible incident. 
The Sheriff is…utterly at a loss with this next one. Dean and Sam head into the station to interview two teen girls. They tearfully recount the “horrible” “way horrible” disappearance of their friend who was kidnapped earlier by…Paris Hilton. 
Dean and Sam tick the obvious boxes. Paris Hilton isn’t dead, so they’re not after a ghost. Sam suits up in scrubs to do a detailed autopsy of one of the prior corpses. He pulls out two strange seeds from one of the victim’s stomachs. 
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Sam fills Dean in on the excessive blood loss he discovered (something was feeding) and the seeds. The seeds are unusual, and he takes them back to the motel. There, he discovers that the seeds were indigenous to a forest in Europe, and the forest was ruled over by a god, Leshi. Leshi can take on any form and feeds on his followers. Dean hand waves the shapeshifting explanation for the audience by asking, “So how's he doing it? What, he touches James Dean's keychain and then morphs into James Dean?” Thank you, Exposition Dean!
The Winchesters arrive back at the Wax Museum, this time bearing a nice sharp axe. In a creepy closed exhibit they find the victim and…Paris Hilton. She (He?) takes out Dean and Sam quickly. When they wake a little while later, they’re tied to the fake trees in the exhibit. 
Leshi sharpens a blade slowly, excited to do the sacrificial ritual correctly this time. He explains that he’s settled in this town to stuff his face full of worshippers arriving at the wax museum. With the apocalypse nigh, there’s no reason to diet! 
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Leshi grouses about the poor quality of worshippers these days. Dean fights whining with snark, and Leshi tells him that he worships somebody - his dad. “Poor little Dean. All you ever wanted was to be loved by your idol.” They fight and Sam breaks free and hacks off Leshi’s head.
The next day, we learn that the victim they rescued is going to recover. And even better? The bumbling Sheriff is putting out an APB on Paris Hilton. 
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At the car, Dean admits his own culpability in bringing about the apocalypse, when he broke the first seal. He apologizes for being preoccupied with the wrong things. Sam responds with the hero speech with which we’re so familiar. “We gotta just grab onto whatever's in front of us, kick its ass, and go down fighting.” Dean’s on board. Hell, he’s more than ready to move forward. He hands Sam the keys to Baby and they roll off to the sweet sounds of Jeff Beck's “Superstition." D’awwww.
These Quotes are Hot:
We’re not your typical cops
Death follows this car around like exhaust
Christine is fiction, this is real
I'm gonna make wax museums hip again
Four score and seven years ago, I had a funny hat
You’re not the first god we've met, but you are the nuttiest
Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 
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Crying
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader x Bucky Barnes, Stucky x readers
warning: language, angst, fluff 
summary: Overwhelmed with Stress Steve pops off on his reader reducing her to tears 
Prompts 
4) I’m sorry but your opinions mean very little to me
30)  I loved you before you even knew I was here
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She probably shouldn’t have taken it to heart. Steve was nervous he hated giving big speeches and standing in front of crowds. Yet, Fury insisted he speak to the new recruits to motivate and inspire or whatever the hell he was supposed to do. (Y/n) had noticed his nervousness and decided to help him relax a bit or give him some help maybe joke around somewhat. She thought she could help but apparently, all she did was make this worse.
Steve was sitting at his desk in his bedroom as (y/n) laid lazily on his bed. He was stressed to the max and her ongoing rambling of nonsense wasn’t really helping. It definitely didn’t help when she got up and leaned over his shoulder reading the speech he was writing. She was just trying to help him in all honesty but he was just too stressed accepted it and lashed out at her. 
“ I’m sorry but your opinions mean very little to me. I don’t care what you think I have to change or say. I’ve got three days to prepare this and honestly, you’re not helping you’re just adding more stress. Please just... fuck off. I don’”t want you”
(y/n) stood there completely stunned for a moment as her emotions rushed through her. But then she got herself together. If he didn’t want her here than she wouldn’t stay. If he wanted her gone then so be it.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you” she didn’t know what else to say or do so with that she walked out of the room. Leaving Steve to feel extremely guilty and even more stressed than before. He had fucked up. 
Leaving Steve (y/n) looked around for Bucky hopefully he wasn’t busy and wouldn’t be annoyed by her.
“You look like you’re looking for something” she finds him in his bedroom laid across the bed with files.
“someone actually” he gathers his files and tosses them on to his bedside table
“oh really, who?” 
“You” she jumped on to his bed and found her way into his arms. 
“I feel so special” She giggles as he pulls her into a kiss. He nuzzled into her neck making her giggle more. “Now that you’re full of giggles. Want to tell me what’s wrong?” She looked at him confused 
“You looked sad coming in. Also, it’s 3:30 you’re usually watching your cartoons with Peter and Steve by now. Supernatural, was it? You’re not with Steve and Peter has to go to whatever school Club. What’s wrong?” Damn, this guy was good he was more observant than she thought. 
The giggly smile she wore slowly started to fade away as he spoke. He slowly graced her cheek trying to bring her attention back to him and soothe her sadness. 
“Steve has a big speech to give tomorrow to the recruits. I was hanging in his room keeping him company, he usually likes my company. When I tried to help him with his speech he said some choice words” she looked down tears starting to blur her vision.
“aww he hurt your feelings”
“I was trying to help. I didn’t mean to make it worse.” Bucky wiped the tears as they started to fall. Steve’s words truly upset her and brought her to tears. Even though she was very strong physically, strong enough to be an Avenger, emotionally the simplest of things could bring (y/n) to tears. He was definitely going to give Steve an ear full for hurting their girl.
“I’m sure he didn’t mean to he's probably just stressed with making his speech and lashed out at you because you were the closest. He’ll come back crawling tomorrow begging for forgiveness. I promise and if not I’ll ram my foot up his ass.”
-
Steve walked off the stage relief he had given his speech and it was great it went off without any problems. He was relieved to have all of that over and finally behind him. Outside of the auditorium, he found his boyfriend Bucky happy to see him he goes for a kiss he was not expecting to be dodged that was a shock.
“that was a nice speech,”  Bucky said 
“was it nice enough to get a kiss?”
“No, but if you give (y/n) an apologie then maybe you could get a kiss”
“oh no,” Steve said as he remembers what he did to (y/n) the night before. And Bucky was basically glaring and scolding him right now so he knew it was worse than he saw. “ How bad did I mess up?”
“she cried”
“oh god no” he covered his face and knocked his head against the wall.
“She’s in her room watching Supernatural by herself. Go apologies. I don’t want to see you until it’s done.” he turned and started to walk away” I’ll check with Friday to see when you’ve done it” 
Just as Bucky said (y/n) was in her room watching Supernatural solo with a bed full of snacks. When he knocked (y/n) assumed it was Bucky and told him to come in. She was not pleased with who entered.
“Um... Supernatural ... what episode?”
“season 9 episode 5″ she said shyly 
“Can I join you?” she nodded and moved to make room. They both sat up against the headboard neither of them was paying attention to the tv. “ Listen I would like to apologize for how I treated you the other day. I was angry, stress, and anxious and I took everything out on you when all you were doing was trying to help. And I’m so sorry”
“I’m sorry I was annoying you when you obviously wanted to be alone-”
“(y/n)-”
“I know I’m clingy, annoying, and needy I’m a cry baby, and I know damn well that I’m am selfish for wanting you and Bucky.”
“love no-” she was starting to cry. Steve placed his hand over his heart as started to hurt.
“and I’m grateful every day that you picked me, you loved me, and you choose to share me. But please don’t stop wanting me”
Steve pulled her into his chest and held her tight. He hated to see her in tears he hated to see her hurt. And he hated that he was the one who caused her pain.
“we’ll never stop wanting or loving you” both looked up to see Bucky at the door he walked in closing it behind him he came in and sat on the edge of the bed “ I loved you before you even knew I was here. We loved you before you had the chance to choose between us.”
“I’m sorry about what I said I truly am and I’ll never say anything like that again. I promise” Steve cupped her face and gave her a kiss Bucky then leaned in and gave her another kiss.
“we love you,” Steve said 
“and we’ll always remind you,” Bucky said “ now scoot over so I can watch this bullshit with you guys”
“and by watching he means constantly talk through it and asks questions” 
“oh blow me”
“maybe later”
(y/n) laughed as her boys teased each other. She was a crybaby and probably would be crying about something new next week or the week after that. But at the end of the day, they would wipe her tears away and kiss her better.
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Survey #264
I did tell y’all WoW would devour my life again when I got my laptop back lmao. But I’m still alive!!
When you wake up to pee at night, do you turn on the light? You mean like, in the bathroom? Uh, yeah? When was the last time you got a fresh box of crayons? Damn dude, I don't have a clue. What color is your favorite towel? I don't have a favorite. They're all just random colors. Do you know anyone’s phone number by heart? Actually no, not since Mom got a new phone. I really need to learn it. Do you wear hoodies? Yeah, one Pikachu one. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: We were arguing and she tried to kick me out of the car once. Obviously I didn't listen. It was one of our worst arguments. How many different homes have you live in?We're in our fourth house now. WELL there's another if you count the apartment, but I didn't officially live there, I was just... always there even though it was against policy lmao. Then when we were technically homeless I "lived" with my former best friend, but again, that was not an official thing. Did your mom go to college? She is, though cancer has thrown a wrench in the plan... She's on her final semester of a bachelor's degree in social work. With cancer now plus this wild quarantine, we don't really know what's going on. Where is the best place you know to take a dog for a walk? We have a park maybe like 15 minutes from here that's pretty decent. Nice fountain, fishing docks, plenty of ducks. Are there any crazy sandwich combinations you like to eat? It's not "crazy," as I know it's actually tasty to some people: having lunch meat, cheese, mustard, and potato chips. I haven't had that in yeeeaaars. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Uh. I'm not sure. We usually have fruit, beans, and soup in there, but I'm not sure which there's more of. Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? No. Do you prefer rugs or bare floors? Rugs. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't really drink from any. Your bad habit that you love the most: Heh, drinking soda... Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: I have before, yes. Had a guinea pig named Harry Potter lol, rats named Tezzeret and Rhoka, and... that may be it. I am not positive, had a lotta pets... Have you ever died in one of your dreams? Yes. Which is tastier: fruity gum or minty gum? Fruity. Be honest, have you ever bullied anybody? Who was it? Oh my god, I was about to say no, but wait. When I first started RP at around 9, I had the impression you were supposed to always be in-character. Me, at the time my account being just "mozart2" (I don't count her as my first RP character though, she turned into Ruby and was drastically changed) on the Animal Planet forum, wanted to be the "dominant female," and one of the girls whose name was like Angelkiss or something was "mean" to me and so I reciprocated until I GOT FUCKING BANNED ON THIS ACCOUNT I'M WRITING THIS AND IT'S SO EMBARRASSING WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME I HATE YOUNG ME SO MUCH. What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? Idk. Is it a turn-off if somebody’s teeth are stained yellow? Not necessarily. Yellow doesn't mean dirty + everyone is supposed to have some coloration, and I can't say shit anyway 'cuz mine are kinda yellow from poor self-care in the past anyway. I just care that they're clean. Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? Girt is a damn giant lmao. I only reach his chest. Shortest, I'm unsure. Do you know any quotes from Forrest Gump? Well besides the famous ones, no. HA, fun fact that cracked me the fuck up though, someone in the government in NC that is running for... something, there are sometimes like three signs in a row along the road that say "RUN FORREST, RUN" and I fuckin died the first time I saw it. Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? I don't believe in angels or demons, so. Ghosts, yes. Would you rather judge a singing or dancing competition? Why? Dancing, for sure. I'm more educated on the form and techniques, plus it's way more entertaining. What was the mascot at your elementary school? A bulldog. It was super cute, and in art class, the art students all worked together to make colorful, clay models that were in the principal's office. Everyone loved them. Have you ever fallen down in public? Did anybody see you? Yes and yes. Do you scream when you go on rollercoasters? Do you close your eyes? I'll probably never know 'cuz my ass is afraid of them lmao. I get dizzy too easily and I'm terrified of the potential of getting sick. Do you think home-made cards are better than store-bought ones? They're more thoughtful imo. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? The Notebook. Who was the last person to walk out of your life, and why? By their volition, probably a Facebook friend. How did you decide upon your favorite colors? I didn't know you could pick your favorite color. Are you less likely to approach people that look/dress a certain way? Wow no. I mean unless they look obviously dangerous, like if they had blood on them or something like that. What is your favorite Starburst candy flavor? If you say anything but pink, you're wrong. Do you prefer schedules and plans, or spontaneity? Schedules. Sponteneity, usually, stresses me out. How do you let someone know that you like him/her? I mean idk. Act like it or say it. Do you think that you act like yourself while online? I'm more myself online. Have you ever lied about something to get someone to like you? Hell no. I'd want them to like me for who I actually am. Would you rather buy presents for others, or receive them? BUY, so long as I'm happy with what I bought and know it'll make them happy. How did you meet your current best friend? YouTube. The last song/poem/story you wrote - what was it about? I haven't finished it, but I'm writing a poem about the strength of cancer patients following Mom getting her hair shaved off. Are you a mostly blunt person? No, because I'm too afraid of starting an argument. Do you have any talents that come naturally? I guess writing since I've been applauded for it since I was very little. Do you go out often? Even before quarantine, not at all. I go out so little that my eyes seriously hurt when I step outside; I always have to squint or entirely close my eyes for a few seconds. What's the best Valentine's Day gift you've gotten? There was one year Jason got me a really pretty heart box of chocolates plus the game Heavy Rain and a pink rose. May still have a picture of it on my old phone... Is there anyone who is overly nice to you? No. It's hard to be "overly nice" in my opinion. Would you prefer internet or television? Internet. What is something you lose often? I'm not sure. Not a lot. Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I never do. How old is your oldest sibling? 30-something. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Yes. Who's the last person you said I love you to? Mom or Sara. What's your stance on spooning? What a question. It's comforting, but I usually can't actually fall asleep like that because I get too hot. Have you ever been "popular?" Nah, not really. Well, I was pretty well-known in the meerkat YouTube community as an editor, but not like, Yelozo level. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Well, I was a Christian when my sister's friend's grandpa made me like, SUPER uncomfortable by talking to me all the way home from school (he had to drive us this day) about the Bible and stuff because it was his "job" as a religious man and I kinda had to take this little Bible from him just to be nice. Even when I was a Christian I wasn't VERY religious and really really felt like he was hardcore shoving his beliefs down my throat. Are you thin? Ha ha no. Do you like big earrings? Heavy/big earrings ruined my ears, so no. The holes are too stretched now and is why I'm putting very small gauges in so it doesn't look as stupid when I put an earring in and it just barely hangs on because my ear lobe literally looks like it could tear. Animated character that was your gay awakening? HA, there's been a few that looking back, I definitely thought were more than pretty, even as a kid, like Sheego from Kim Possible. But #1? Holy mother of fuck, Bayonetta. That is one fuckin HOT MAMA. What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? Hmm. It really does depend on what I feel like semi-watching. Maybe like, a let's play where I'm not THAT interested in the game, but I still do listen and glance over. Your go-to bar order, if you drink? I've never been to a bar, but when I go out to eat and I feel like getting a drink, it's usually a margarita. What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? UGGGGHHHHH my tall leather boots with all these buckles and stuff. They're hot. What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? I don’t know. What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? Nothing that's really "surprising." Just three ordinary minimum wage jobs. What’s directly across from you? My snake's terrarium. Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? No. ;-; I wish. What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? I've only ever had cream cheese. NO WAIT, I tried jam once and it was fucking repulsive. One bite and I was like "fuck no." I think it was strawberry jam though, which I hate. I'm not sure what else I'd try as idk what would taste good. Fruity or herbal teas? Neither. What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? None. It's funny, as a kid when I thought I was "too old," I tried to hide the fact I still adored Pokemon, but for years now I've just been like "lol fuck yeah man Pokemon." What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) Being an emo/goth/metalhead thing was NEVER a phase, Mom. Goddamn do I wish I could afford a gothic wardrobe laksjdfawde. What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? There's no telling. I rarely check my closet for "special" clothes, but rather my dresser. Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? The couch. Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? I'm all of them, plus sometimes song lyrics I find relevant lmao leave me alone. Name a classic Vine: YO that one of the dude looking for his berries with a WILD outfit, expression, and voice and then scares adventurers away from his tree made me fuckin cry for about 1,000 repeats. I miss Vine, man, good shit. What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? We don't really "stock up" on any particular food. We do, however, tend to get a large box of frozen rats for Venus, if you can count that, but obviously that's not from the grocery store lol. How do you top your ice cream? Chocolate syrup mmmMMMMMMMMMMM Do you like Jello? Yeah. Do you have a fear, even only a slight fear of insects? I do. Do you have a favorite poem you like and can recall? If so, what is it? I don't have a favorite, no. Have you ever resided in a home that was haunted: *shrugs* I do think paranormal things happened in my last house, but idk about calling it haunted. Do you ever play any MMORPGS: Just WoW. What’s the closest river to you? Tar River. Have you ever been in a building with over 100 floors? I don't think so. What bird is the cutest? Oh, I don't know. Something small and pudgy lol. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit is so cool. Have you ever held a real sword? No. What do you think about most? PTSD is v fun. My brain naturally drifts to relating topics when I don't know what to think about, which is most of the time. Certainly don't try to, but it just. Happens. Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Hell man, idk. I do have a weakness for Kellin Quin though; he's the first to come to mind. What was the last film you saw in the cinema? The Lion King. What are you currently listening to? "Saturnalia" by Marilyn Manson. How many people have you kissed, that you can HONESTLY say you loved? Two. The last person to be under covers with you? Sara. What's the compliment you get the most? Uhhh I think it's "I like your tattoo" (referring to my Mark one). BITCH just wait til it gets tidied up for four hours. Have you ever disliked someone just because a friend disliked them? If they have good reason to, yes. I can't deeply dislike someone I don't know/have personally seen be a piece of shit, but I can sure not be fond of them until they prove unworthy of that judgment. Have you ever won a lot of money in a slot machine? How much? Never gambled and don't plan to. Do you eat/drink at your computer? Yes, oops. How much do you overeat at special occasions? (Birthdays, Christmas, etc) Actually, I tend to under-eat at most special occasions because odds are I'm not going to like the food. This isn't always the case, but yeah. Do you think it's important to enjoy your job or do you just work for money? I think it's very important to enjoy it. If you had to, which record would you go into Guinness World Records for? Probably the longest consecutive hours of not leaving the computer laksdfjawe I hate myself. Do/Did you enjoy school? Why (not)? From the very beginning, I hated school. It's why I was a goddamn monster to get up in the morning, even in high school. I only enjoyed (to a degree, anyway) my most recent college because it was a way to get out of the house and work towards my future. Do you find it difficult to sleep at night? Any reason(s) why? Boy, do I. Most recently, after being put on a medication for my nightmares/terrors (which works!), I have intense muscle spasms in my legs, oddly only when I'm falling asleep. Apparently it's a very rare side effect of it, but I'm willing to tolerate it in place of having nightly terrors. Then there's my PTSD and just general poor self-image that can both send me down a total spiral. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Why? Not legitimately. Like I've wondered what it would be like, but I've never truly wanted to be a guy. I'm just content with being what comes with being genetically female. Do you think you'd make a good model? Would you ever want to be one? Hell to the fuck no. Have you had an argument with anyone recently? If so, do you still have issues with that person? Not recently, no. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you? Tell me the story of how you met that person, everything you remember. Hell man, I don't have a clue. Have you ever worn colored mascara? If not, would you ever think about trying it? And if you have, what is/was your favorite color to wear? No, but I guess, if I had a reason to? What do you remember about your first day of secondary school? Were you more nervous or excited about it? I very faintly remember I had no desire to be there. Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like Bebo or Myspace? Yeah, I had Myspace. Has anyone ever asked you out, and you turned them down? If so, did you feel guilty about it? Why do you think you said no? Yes, and not *really*, as I'm very strict with myself about whom I date. It's just awkward. And I just didn't like one guy romantically in elementary, my best male childhood friend was black (mind you I haven't been racist in the least since I was a tiny kid, I was just raised like that), and I knew Juan had a bad rep. Have you ever asked anyone “Do you love me?” If so, did you get the response you wanted? Do you think when someone says “I love you”, you feel obliged to say it back? Ugh. Let's not. I feel obligated only with family. Has someone of the opposite sex ever sang to you? If so, how did you respond to it? LET'S. FUCKIN. NOT. If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? Terrified.
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uijaejin-blog · 5 years
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hello! it’s han and yo boiii -- the resident magician -- jaejin! here are jinjin’s pages: profile, bio, powers, plots (will edit a link to his plot pages once i get them finished)
his pages are relatively short so everything you need is there, but alas, do not worry i shall provide a tldr under the cut as well as a few plots! also if u’d like to plot just give this post a heart and i’ll dive into ur dms!!!! i have discord just ask for my user <3
bio//
bb jaejin was orphaned a few weeks after his birth when his powers started manifesting (things exploding when jaejin cried) and news broke out about the miracle babies possibly being dangerous.
birth mother decides to drop him off at an orphanage -- no note, no name, no anything.
the lady who owned the orphanage took him in and gave him the name jaejin. she was nice and the kids were her priority. life in the orphanage was pretty easy for baby jae except for the random exploding things since that shizz put him in a place where he couldn’t hang around as much with the other kids #lonelyboy.
baby jae was quite the eyecatching little baby, adorable with beautiful eyes that had spots of magenta in them. seeking parents were easily endeared by him and being adopted was a piece of cake.
but the thing is yo boi is a literal baby boomer, so when he would cry or be in stress, things would randomly explode and parents dont want that! so they return the poor baby.
this goes on for years on end and broke jinjin’s wittle heart ;n; , at a young age he started to question himself and feel like there’s something wrong with him.
true enough that usan has made quite the rounds on national tv, but the orphanage lady did not have the heart to give away jaejin. she believes that he needs to experience having a family and that there’s a family out there for him -- jaejin thinks otherwise, no one wants him.
that’s what he thought up until he was 6. yo boi finally gets adopted for the last time!!! WHERE ARE THE PARTY POPPERS??? WHERE IS THE CAKE?!?!?!?! a woman in her early 30s adopts jaejin and is perfect and most loving person he has ever met with 2 other adopted kids. turns out she is an advocate for the oct.1st babies and actually works for usan (then). additionally his adopted siblings turn out to be oct.1st babies too! it was the perfect family and jaejin loves them to the moon and back.
usan becomes his home and yo boi finally has a family :(
sidenotes// just a few things i thought are important to mention
so jaejin’s power is molecular speed manipulation. if you’ve watched og charmed it’s the same with piper halliwell’s. so to simplify he’s basically a remote control lmfao he can pause, fastforward, slowmo molecules with a bonus catch on fire or make things explode button. may it be living or non-living as long as they’re made up of molecules. he’s lowkey pretty much inspired by piper halliwell from charmed and gambit from xmen.
is a big baby -- 6ft tall but still a baby.
loves magic so much that this dork got a whole education at an online magic school to be a magician. i--
has a pet he loves very much his name is joe. ITS HIS LONG ASS METAL STAFF. legit talks to it and pets it, sometimes even sleeps with it. he just wants a dog!!!!! SOMEONE GIVE HIM A DOG PLS I BEG U.
he’s a happy little bean but don’t be fooled he’s really sad on the inside he just doesn’t want to show it because he’s learned that there are fewer accidents that way.
H Y P E R -- questioning it really, if the reason being is all his molecules are sped up.
he’s very into skinship and loves hugs and cuddles -- it makes him feel warm.
does magic professionally -- does shows regularly at a bar and occasionally does street magic when he can. also isn’t afraid to randomly approach usan peeps to do closeup magic. i think it’s his way of saying hello. mayhaps have asked someone in support team who specializes in weapon tech to make him smoke bombs just so he can have a grand entrance and exit.
plots// a collection of connections and plots. these are pretty vague and all i can think of at the top of my head! we can always work on it and tweak it!
a bff he can do all sorts of things with! has been there thru the ups and downs and legit fam to jinjin
other orphan/s he might have met at the orphanage. this might need a bit of more plotting since the orphanage lady doesn’t believe in sending the miracle kids at the orphanage away to usan.
someone he annoys the hell out of because he’s a dork that loves magic and constantly bothers u.
u trip holding food/drinks, fortunately, jaejin is there to pause everything and save u from a nasty accident.
jae’s having a bad day, cue explosion. u see it or hear it and u find a little balled up jae crying.
u love jaejin’s magic tricks so jaejin loves u.
someone who legit doesn’t like him? maybe because they’re jealous of his family? he accidentally did something wrong to you? etc.
u find him talking and petting his metal stick staff -- things get awkward.
go out and grab a snack at the cafe or go out partying ayyyyyyyyeeee caution: u will have an extra clingy jinjin sooooooo.
HAN RIVER PICNIC PLS WITH STAR GAZING!!!!!
karaoke time??? mayhaps???
o also! 2 of jaejin’s adopted siblings a free to rp i just didn’t have the time to apply for a connection thing yet. so if ur looking to just let me know!
THIS GOT LONGER THAN EXPECTED I AM SORRY :( THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TLDR LMAO
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Text
What Do You Want From Me? Ch 5
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Lance Tucker X Reader
Words: 1409
Warnings: Language, mentions of sex
A/N: This is all told from Lance’s inner thoughts. Enjoy!
I looked at my clock and saw it was 7:30 in the morning. There's a body lying next to me and I'm not sure why she's still there. Why hasn't Y/N come in yet to wake me and get rid of this chick? Oh yeah that's right, she left me. Just like she did after the mind-blowing sex we had in my fucking kitchen! Now she fucking hates me because I'm the biggest shit bag in the world and couldn't handle seeing her act like nothing happened between us.
I poke at the woman next to me, “Hey! Hey!”
The blonde starts to stir, “what time is it?” Sleep fills her voice.
“Time to get the fuck out…why are you here?”
She looks at me like that's the dumbest question one could ask. “Because we fucked?”
I couldn't help rolling my eyes at her. Must have an IQ of 20. Y/N was right, I do have a type.  
“Hey…get up and get out!” I say with more force this time.
“I don't have a car!” She's trying to put her clothes back on from the night before.
“Not my fucking problem. Walk or call an Uber, I don’t care but get the fuck out of my house!”
“You're a piece of shit!” The blonde says, putting on her shoes.
“Remember that when you replay last night's events in your head. You had a piece of shits dick in your mouth. That'll be a great conversation starter!” I start to laugh, and the blonde glares at me as she leaves my room and exists my house.  
I get dressed and head to the kitchen. Normally Y/N would be here, shake ready, pills and juice waiting, and we’d banter back and forth about the woman doing the walk of shame. Not today. Today I'm alone dealing with the repercussions of my stupid fucking mouth and lack of thought process.
My thoughts kept drifting back to Y/N. Her smile, her laugh, the way she never really takes my shit, her witty responses, her body, the way she felt when I entered her. “Fuck!!” I yell at the sink. Why the fuck are my thoughts drifting back to the sex we had right here in the kitchen? Why do I keep thinking about her, period?
That's why I went out last night, trying to rid my brain of our one-time encounter, and brought home the nameless blonde. The blow job wasn't spectacular, and the sex mediocre at best, but it still wasn't enough to shut down my brain. My head keeps wandering to Y/N.  
I moved to the island and stared at the barstool. The exact same one I placed her on and fucked into, until our orgasms took both of us over the edge. I've never wanted anyone like that before. Sure, I want women…I'm Lance Tucker. Sex was encoded into my DNA, but the way I wanted Y/N, it was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before and probably never will again. Fuck! I pull myself out of those thoughts. Maybe it's time to get new barstools.
I grab a bottle of water and head into the living room. According to my schedule, I’ve got a day off and nothing planned. Days like this the two of us would sit on my couch and play Gears of War or Call of Duty on the Xbox One. I'm so super competitive and it irritates Y/N to no end when I always get more kills than her, but we've always managed to make something out of nothing, and game time is always so much fun.
“What in the ever-loving fuck?!” I throw my water bottle at the poor couch and walk to the bedroom. But before I step in, I suddenly realize something. There isn't one room in this house that Y/N hasn't touched, or there isn't a memory of the two of us. Even the garage holds one from the day she threw a cold bucket of water in my face. I gave chase, only to catch her in the garage, throw her over my shoulder, and spank her ass until she begged for mercy.  
The memory makes me smile, but the sad truth is she hates me, and was now considering leaving me to find a new PA. The words I said, I could never take back. I don't even know why I said any of them. Obviously, I wasn't thinking. Clearly… I never do!
I walk into the bedroom and sit on the edge of my bed. I'll have to find someone to replace her, but how was that even possible. Y/N, who kicks out my nightly conquests, it's Y/N that makes my protein shakes taste phenomenal. Y/N knows the proper brand of pills, bottled water, body soap and shampoo that makes my hair feel extra soft. She knows my favorite take out restaurant and how to order my food without the nasty sauce and soy beans. My suits are always dry cleaned and ready to go, and let's not even think about my schedule! Looking over it yesterday gave me a migraine, and I’m still not sure if I've recovered.  
But how the hell does she do it every single day without fail? She takes care of so much in my life and barely complains, and never takes a day off. And here I am, never saying please or thank you. Never telling her or showing any kind of appreciation. She just does it, because she’s fucking amazing! That's just who she is.
Jesus, I now realize I've taken her for granted. Always just thought she'd be there, but now she's had enough. She'll never stay. God! Why the fuck did l cross that line?  
Why did I cross that line? I mean…she is beautiful. Always thought so. Her smile can light up a room, and her personality is the perfect counter to my brashness. That cute skirt she was wearing with the short sleeve pink top, perfectly hugged her breasts, and I just wanted to caress and squeeze the shit out of them. Her legs were amazing, and when she walked, just the right amount of thigh was exposed, and I wanted to kiss a trail from there up to her panty line. The way she yelled at me turned me on so goddamn much that I needed to fuck the hell out of her and make her mine.
No! Fuck no! There's no possible way! I've never wanted this! I despise this! A different woman every night is how I avoid this! No way ever in my entire life am I, Lance Tucker, supposed to catch feelings!
That's the only thing that explains how I can't stop thinking about her. The sex with last night’s blonde did nothing to satisfy my want. Thinking about it…no one I’ve slept with in the past three years has ever been enough to quench my thirst. Is it because Y/N walked into my life and I’ve been secretly harboring feelings? Were all those women just a replacement for the one I really want and desire? Is it possible I could change my womanizing ways and call her mine?
Wait? Do I fucking love her? Is that why I was so angry she left? I thought we'd talk about what happened, but she was gone when I came back, leaving her bra and panties like a parting gift.  
And in my anger, I go out and find some random chick at a club and bring her back into my home. The same home I had just had the best sex I've ever had, with the woman I'm pretty sure I'm in love with! “What the fuck is wrong with me?”
I've need to get her back! I can't lose her before I've had a chance to be with her, but where the fuck do I start? She said not to contact her. I can’t piss her off any more than I already have.  
Think, Lance. Think. Ok. I'll have to wait for her to come to me. But first things first.  
I take out my cell phone and start sifting through my contacts. To get the girl, I'll need to let her know I'm for real about her. They'll be no need for any more of these women’s numbers in my phone.  
This is the start of the new Lance Tucker! I'll do what’s necessary to get here with me where she belongs!
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rivengard · 5 years
Note
1-60!
1. selfie I'm not sure if I posted this one but fuck it lool
2. what would you name your future kids? something Elvish for sure
3. do you miss anyone? nahh
4. what are you looking forward to? my erasmus programme
5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? idk not always
6. is it hard for you to get over someone? it's not, I'm actually really good at controlling my feelings and such
7. what was your life like last year? i was a bit unhappy bc of my choices in life but I also had good times, good relationships, ups and downs like the usual..
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? oh boy hell yea I did
9. who did you last see in person? couple of friends
10. are you good at hiding your feelings? lol yea
11. are you listening to music right now? no
12. what is something you want right now? we ain't going there mate xD joking aside it would be nice to have someone to talk, hangout all night and make out
13. how do you feel right now? I feel pretty emotional due to the finale of oitnb
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? two days ago
15. personality description umm a self-destructive bitch, realistic enough to believe in fantasy worlds, sarcastic and full of stupid puns I'd say (I have a good sense of humour I swear)
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? I mean yeah, like everyone at some point
17. opinion on insecurities. OH I HAVE MANY WHERE SHOULD I BEGIN..to be honest everyone has them, we should either accept them or make a change if there's an option and if it'll make us feel better in the end
18. do you miss how thing were a year ago? not at all
19. have you ever been to New York? noO I WISH
20. what is your favourite song at the moment? I can't choose just one :( there are too many
21. age and birthday? I'll be 20 on Nov. 11
22. description of crush. I don't have one :(
23. fear(s) not achieving anything, ending up all alone and also FUCK clowns
24. height 5'7 or 5'8
25. role model I don't think I have one..
26. idol(s) idk
27. things i hate racist people, abusers in any kind, my relatives, the country I live in, being broke...
28. i’ll love you if… you buy me swords, ohh and make me laugh lots
29. favourite film(s) lotr, the great gatsby, the wolf of the wall street, the departed, pride and prejudice, hobbit, leòn the professional, django, colette, spider-man into the spiderverse, coraline, a nightmare on elm street...I have too many ffs
30. favourite tv show(s) black sails, sense8, sherlock, good omens, lost, b99, poldark..
31. 3 random facts I recently quit my job due to health issues, I started rewatching Doctor Who and I love Leonardo DiCaprio a lot
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?equal
33. something you want to learn lots of languages tbh
34. most embarrassing moment Idk I can't think anything
35. favourite subject art, english and literature related
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? graduating from uni, moving abroad and be covered in tattoos
37. favourite actor/actress Leonardo DiCaprio, Benedict Cumberbatch, Johnny Depp, Jack Nicholson, Michael B. Jordan, Lily Collins, Keira Knightley..
38. favourite comedian(s) Ricky Gervais and Stephen Colbert
39. favourite sport(s) basketball and working out in general
40. favourite memory this would take a long ass time to write tbh
41. relationship status single
42. favourite book(s) the silmarillion, lotr, fahrenheit 451 and currently reading the great gatsby I'm pretty sure this will be one of my faves too
43. favourite song ever I CAN'T CHOOSE
44. age you get mistaken for 12 lol jk most ppl tell me I look younger
45. how you found out about your idol I didn't I guess
46. what my last text message says "lmao same"
47. turn ons it's 4.46am and my brain stopped functioning idk, neck kissing, being kind, good humour, loving lotr, kinkyness...
48. turn offs rude assholes..
49. where i want to be right now ENGLAND
50. favourite picture of your idol I really should choose an idol right..okay let's say it's Leo
51. starsign horny one lol (if that's not clear enough it's scorpio)
52. something i’m talented at I used to think I'm talented at drawing but now idk
53. 5 things that make me happy My cat loki, finally being able to workout properly after injury, making playlists and listening to them, shopping (shocking because I'm broke yet I insist on being a stupid hoe) and hanging out w my best friend
54. something thats worrying me at the moment how am I suppose to wake up and go to gym, I can't sleep n it's basically 5am so...
55. tumblr friends @celiacelestial @wonderinghobbit @all-together-run-for-cover @asylumsammet @kingsmill and you! (i most likely forgot lots of ppl I'M SORRY YOU GUYS)
56. favourite food(s) zucchini noodles, baked mushrooms, pizza and spicy foods in general I guess
57. favourite animal(s) cats, dogs, rabbits, wolves..I love em all tbh
58. description of my best friend she's an actual hobbit, cutest bean, would kill for Freddie Mercury and Benedict Cumberbatch, stans way too many shit which makes our conversations even more enjoyable, a great listener and she has a great sense of humour lol
59. why i joined tumblr about 7 years ago I heard it from my cousin and was curious about it lmao thank god it helped me improve my English, humor, variety of interests...as well as making me spend countless hours of reblogging :::))))
Thank youuu!💕
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badjokesbyjeff · 6 years
Text
Texas Chili Cook-off Joke
Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:
Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
CHILI # 1: MIKE’S MANIC MONSTER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy Shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that’s the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.
CHILI # 2: ARTHUR’S AFTERBURNER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I’m not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face.
CHILI # 3: FRED’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting shit-faced.
CHILI # 4: BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC
JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I’m eating.
CHILI # 5: LINDA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no linger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Freakin’ Rednecks! ! !
CHILI # 6: VERA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!
CHILI # 7: SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.
FRANK: You could puta #)$^@#*&! Grenade in my mouth, pull the #)$^@#*&! pin, and I wouldn’t feel a d@&$ thing. I’ve lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my X*$(@#^&$ mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit, to match my X*$(@#^&$ shirt. At least the during the autopsy they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing, it’s too painful. I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the four-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8: HELEN’S MOUNT SAINT CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a well balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor Yank.
FRANK: - - - - - Mama?- - - (Editor’s Note: Judge # 3 was unable to report).
Click here for a random joke!
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mysticnfantastic · 5 years
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Okay, so on a happier note than my previous request. If requests are still open could do a scenario with RFA + V and Saeran (and maybe also Ray?) holding hands with MC when she suddenly flops to the ground and makes them carry/drag her because she doesn't want to go somewhere (like to the hospital for a checkup cause she hates hospitals or the grocery store cause of social anxiety or something)? I'm really curious about how they would react.
Hi! I hope this’ll  be good! It’s cute!
Jumin:
Jumin is a responsible man.
He makes sure to attend all meetings, check-ups and the like when he must, and is used to everyone else doing the same.
And it is because of this that he is rather shocked to see your (seemingly childish) reaction when you refused to go to the hospital
At first, he tries to convince you bluntly, not understanding where this is all coming from - you just….flopped in the middle of his apartment.
When you refuse to get up, he sighs, and tries to ask you why you’re acting this way, and will try to listen to you as you embarrassedly admit how you feel too anxious to go, and how you have had some pretty bad experiences in hospitals, which made him feel for you, of course, but he also knew you’d have to go for your check up to make sure that you were healthy…
So, he’d probably make a deal with you - he’d have private doctors come to you to check you, instead, and he’d be there by your side the majority of the time.
Zen:
It was so random, he couldn’t have ever expected it.
You two were just...walking through town when he mentioned how you’d need to go shopping with him, and you just...flopped.
It was really strange and he had honestly no idea how to react, but he crouched down beside you, super concerned, thinking you had a seizure or something, panic in his (beautiful) crimson eyes
“MC!? MC, are you okay??”
Finds it NOT funny when he realises you aren’t actually hurt, but also relieved as fuck.
You shake your head though when he asks if you’re actually alright, and it makes him concerned, as he helps you to your legs, glaring at people who gave you two weird looks.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice fully laced with worry as he looked into your eyes, pulling you into a nice alleyway for some privacy from prying eyes.
You explained your feelings and concerns and anxiety to him, trying not to get upset, to which he smiled reassuringly and kissed your forehead in a gentle manner only Zen could manage.
“That’s okay - I’ll be with you the whole time, okay? If you feel too overwhelmed we can leave and go home.”
Despite this, you refuse, and so he picks up you in his arms and literally carries you to the shops, it gains A LOT of attention.
Yoosung:
Gods save this precious bean, he has NO fucking idea what’s happening.
You were both just hanging out at the park, when he remembered how he needed to go to town and pick up some important things, and asked you to go with him, to which you responded by flopping facedown into his bed, saying something that got muffled under the pillow.
You hadn’t ever really..done anything like this before, so it was...interesting…?
So damn confused, is that a ‘no’, then?
You’ll sit up on his bed, and sadly explain why you /really/ don’t want to go to buy anything with him, the social atmosphere being suffocating to you.
He’ll nod, somewhat relieved it’s nothing too major, and he promises that you needn’t go, and that he can and will go by himself.
You feel bad just...waiting at his dorm whilst he goes to do errands all alone, but when he comes back he brings you back candy to cheer you up.
Saeyoung:
You were just hanging out at his house, sitting on his bed as he sat in front of his computer, typing away.
Eventually, he pulled away from the illuminated screen, smiling at you (like the dork he is) and then pouted when he saw your pale face.
You had been ill recently, and it showed.
Sighing softly, he tried to smile regardless, standing up and walking over to you, when he sat down beside you on the bed, he declared you had to go to the doctor.
Queue you immediately (and dramatically) falling into his lap face-up, hand on forehead like a prima donna.
He’s surprised, but chuckles lightly, shaking his head at your childish endeavours.
“Come on, MC, don’t be like this.”
You shake your head, refusing to go.
He sighs, and tries to make a deal with you - if you agree to go to the doctor, he’ll get off that forsaken computer and spend more time with you when you get better.
V:
Usually, you were quite calm and easy-going, and that made this situation so much more confusing for this poor angel.
He stated that the two of you needed to go to the supermarket to buy some groceries, and your reaction was highly unusual.
You didn’t really even say ‘no’ you just...fell onto the floor, lying on your back, looking up at him with a pout.
V.Exe is not responding
He has no idea what the actual hell just happened.
“...M...MC? What are you doing?”
The humiliation suddenly hits you and you get up off the floor, blushing softly and explaining your dislike of being in public due to your social anxiety.
He’s still mildly confused as to why you felt the need to fall onto the ground to tell him that, but he understands what it feels like to be anxious, and just tells you to make a list of the things you want him to buy.
Jaehee:
The two of you were in town, holding hands as you made your way past the buildings, when Jaehee mentioned how it’s about time for you to go and make your annual medical examination
And you responded by...suddenly going limp and literally falling on the ground, much to her shock.
Thankfully, you weren’t in a busy part of town, but it still gained someone unsavory looks.
“MC!? What are you doing…? Get up from there…!” She’s slightly panicked but also embarrassed by the glances from passersby.
She helps you to your feet, though she does glance you over to make sure you aren’t hurt, worried about what caused you to do that.
When you explain the problem to her, she sighs in disappointment. “Really, MC?”
Disappointed Mom Mode
“You’re going to have to go get checked, but I suppose I could make the appointment with you if you’d like.”
Saeran:
It was the day of your doctor appointment, and you really hated the doctor.
Something about the doctor just...caused a deep discomfort within you, and you absolutely loathed it. You weren’t even /that/ ill…!
Unfortunately, Saeran begged to differ, calling you out for how you clearly needed to go.
You could tell her was becoming frustrated with how childish you were being, shaking your head like a five year old and refusing to go get yourself checked out.
When he tried to get you to stand up, you went limp and fell onto the bed, low-key freaking the poor boy out with your sudden limpness.
“W-What?...MC! Get up!”
You jokingly say ‘not unless you carry me!”
MUCH to your shock you feel him suddenly lifting you up in the air, into his chest like a princess, “Damn, you’re heavy.”
You know he’s joking, but you still playfully hit his chest in an ‘offended’ manner.
He chuckles softly, as he carries you through the town (and the two of you recieve many gazes of awe and confusion as you do so)
Ray:
Ray and you were in the garden, technically on a date.
And it was then you remembered you had a ‘one on one meeting’ with the Saviour.
Immediately you felt the anxiety within you, and you bit your lip, and unfortunately Ray noticed your internal distress.
“Everything okay, MC?” His voice was so full of love and concern.
“I...have to go see the Saviour in a little while.”
Ray’s face was confused - why did you seem so immensely concerned by it?
“I...suppose I am slightly anxious, haha…” you exclaimed, biting down on your lips harder. It intimidated you, and honestly this entire situation was so unusual and odd for you.
You were clearly very hesitant on going, and before you could really say anything else, you felt him princess-carry you to where your meeting would be taking place.
Hope this was good, it took ages and also confession: Mod Ama has long-ago deleted the app (B/c it took too much space and generally I b r e a t h e d this game, and it was...taking way too much time from my busy ass life, BUT i have read A LOT of fanfiction from the Saeran/Ray route, and also I wiki’d shit like hell, and so the Ray scenario is just…..something I made up so don’t shoot me pls.
- Mod Ama 
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