#welp time to give my trauma to my characters

[brightlotusmoon]

Turns out that I subluxated my left hip last night and that was why I couldn't walk until the weed kicked in.

Roommate, who has EDS, showed me how to pop my hip back in. The difference freaked me out. The release of spastic muscles and tendons was like a cool breeze in a desert. I never get used to no pain.

My hip is very sore with lingering electric pains and deep bruising in my lower back and psoas. Moving still hurts. It's possible that the joint is still not right.

I would like advice and tricks for if it happens again. That ranked as one of the most epic pain episodes in many years.

#spastic cerebral palsy #toad is my fibromyalgia personified #smoke weed everyday #ow my everything #hip pain #sciatica #welp time to give my trauma to my characters #sometimes chronic pain means always ready to snap #chronic pain and cannabis #ow ow ow

[whelvehitee]

Perhaps I just needs to get some stuff off my mind

Wow that was so serious but-

POWERPUFF BRAINROT!!

Okay so here’s some headcanons that I’ve had but I’ve never really wrote them down but I think would be good fanfic material

I think the greens would be good friends after some time like as violent as they are they have very good battle chemistry because I don’t think they’d just be animals going ham on the enemy. As kids? Sure but as teenagers or new adults I think they’d achieve some sort of mutual understanding of each other. What I mean is that I feel like they would really get what the other is going through with being stereotyped as the “headstrong” and “numbskulls” because even though buttercup is more on the soft side and butch is just blatantly crazy I think they would get why they are like that after a point in their relationship (not romantic just in general). They wouldn’t call each other friends but they would stand up for each other in their own way, I don’t think buttercup would fight butchs battles for him instead she’d just give him advice in her own green way same goes for butch to buttercup.

I think because of buttercup being a green she gets bricks anger issues in a way butch doesn’t. Not shipping them but I’m just saying like buttercup in all her annoying and teasing glory would know when to shut up when it comes to brick because I don’t think anyone would want to get on his bad side considering she’s already been there yet never on the receiving end but looking back on the burns he’d give blossom during their fights I don’t think she’d like to mess with him. Brick already has a hard time going about his day because of constantly being on the edge I don’t think he’s ever had a childlike mentality after what’s happened with Him because I think Him really had a lasting effect on the boys causing them great types of trauma.

The puffs and ruffs probably come to a sort of understanding after some time because even if they don’t like each other they still get each other like I said with the greens I think this understanding is even deeper with the reds. They are EXTREMELY complex like I cannot even begin to explain how much of their character I can break down.

I don’t think blossom is a conservative know it all bitch instead I think blossom is narcissistic from being the forever leader but still being her everything nice qualities. Yes she is the nicest but I think she’s the LEAST reasonable. I think she would have very solid foundations for every situation which would be very hard to negotiate with causing disagreements that she wouldn’t anticipate but would still invite unknowingly. Knowing this I think her and brick would constantly be at odds yet brick would be the one making and effort to settle down instead most of the time because I think even with his all hotheadedness I don’t think he’s a person who would headache unnecessary arguments. Brick does have pride but he’s the complete opposite of blossom in a way where the way they handle social ques is also very different. Yes they have their similarities but I don’t think they’d be on the same page EVER. Now where does the understanding come? Their behaviour mostly because I feel like they’d respond to a lot of things the same way. On and emotional level I think they have a similar sense of stress.

Welp that’s all for now

#powerpuff girls #ppg #rowdyruff boys #rrb brick #ppg blossom #rowdyruff brick #ppg buttercup #ppg bubbles #powerpuff buttercup #powerpuff blossom #powerpuff bubbles #rrb boomer #rrb butch #rowdyruff butch #rowdyruff boomer #headcanon #idk what im doing #i have an exam tomorrow #i should study

[milos-lil-corner]

Headcanons with accompanying doodles

Below are headcanons and stuff of multiple creepypasta dudes.

Random thought from a friend: Zalgo really not liking being summoned by either their followers or random weirdos, so he would be very passive aggressive and try to cut time short to get the hell out of there so they can go back to whatever they were doing before. Not nessacarily a headcanon, but I'd like to imagine it.

Anyways, Zalgo in a a steriotypical "I really don't wanna be here" shirt

-

Since me and my friend headcanon Slender as blind ( legally, at least. It can still vaugely see shapes near itself, but otherwise can't see shit without the use of its azoth. Anyways - ), and because of their species weird thing about height, Slender might mistake a light pole to be one of its species and sort of just. Stand there, sizing it up for a couple of hours.

Imagine your walking in the woods and see a fucker the size of a two story house sizing up a lamp post.

-

It's said ghosts and demons can't get to you if you are in a circle of salt. And since Sally is a ghost, I'd imagine that salt should would work on her too.

Cue, teddy bear in a salt circle. Whoever put it there, who knows - but they are an asshole.

-

I haven't read LJ's story, so idk if the shit I'm saying would be technically canon or not, but I'd like to think he'd use his box as a place to sleep. Sure, he was imprisoned in the box for a long ass time, but hey - self torture and trauma can't get in the way of a good night's sleep.

-

'Nother thing about LJ - I'd like to imagine he would collect those dumb plushie clowns. Whether its because he finds them cute or as a way to cope, who knows.

Also, LJ's design is different from the original cause I'd like to think his little accessories and shit can be removed. Also gives the impression of him being a plush doll, which is what he is in my mind lol.

-

Ill make a post about SlenderFolk and my version later on, but here's an example of how some would sleep. They can also sleep while standing, looking like a tree from far away with their azoth just sort of hanging around everywhere to keep them upright. Course, though, if they were to feel safe enough, they can just lay down like a cat or something.

-

SlenderFolk are tall as hell, so the thought of them being struck my lighting due to how high they are is funny as fuck. Depending on how old the SlenderFolk is, I'd like to imagine they would have more lighting scars or something like that. Shows the age.

-

Little doodle of Slenderman as a welp. Result of a convo between my friend on the wholesome tragedy thats going on between Splendor and Slender. In the rp lore, Splendor is the oldest out of the bunch, with Slender being the second oldest. Splendor took care of himself and his brother during the evolution of human civilization, being all cute and shit before character development happened and their relationship turned sour.

But yeah! Slender as a lil cutie.

-

Speaking of welps - SlenderFolk call their youth welps. Course, the person showed on the ground isn't a welp, as its one of my ocs ( mechanical limbs due to unwilling experimentation by the military - it's a long story ). Again, Slenderman being blind helps create funny ( at least to me and my friend ) scenerios that double as a way to explore SlenderFolk culture and weird cryptid lore.

-

And that's about it. More to come soon :)

#slender brothers #creepypasta #splendorman #slender bros #sally williams #laughing jack #zalgo creepypasta #slenderfolk #art #slenderman

[nero-ya]

Content warning ? I don't really know to be honest but safety first so just prepare for a bit of smut I guess.

I'm normally not really one for posting shit but I really need to get this out of my system.

First of all i wanna say thanks to all creators out there writing the best fics I've ever read.

I love you guys and your writings are amazing no matter what character it features.

Every fanfic I read about law is truly amazing and I love every single one of them fluff, smut, modern au, rare pairs, drabble, Oneshot or longer story with multiple chapters they're all amazing but.....most of them I have read are nearly the same, showing law as a dominant one who always has the control and it's good yes but listen closely.

That's just my opinion but please that traumatized handsome dude went through so much shit and lost so much and it's plausible if he's afraid of not having control over everything in fear of losing someone again and I'll get it but at the same time I think it's exactly what he needs, I'm a firm believer he's a switch even though he would never ever admit it only over his dead body but he is and he fucking needs it.

He needs someone he can trust fully without fear of getting judged or laughed at, someone's that just chains him to the bed for hours on end, teasing and pleasuring him, fucking all the stress and trauma out of him and giving him the most relaxing day all week.

At least once a week he needs to be fully pampered and cared for, let him forget for a day that he's not just a captain, a friend, a Brother or a lover, most of all he's fucking human and I would love to see more about law finding a person he can be vulnerable with and let go of everything for a day without the fear of being teased for submitting and leaving his care in you're hands.

Ahhhhh I just wanna fucking pamper him and just imagine law chained to the bed, blindfolded and sprawled naked on the sheets. Tracing every tattoo he has on his body, slow and sensual, kissing every scar he got along the way, massaging the Stress and pain he feels out of his body before sucking him empty and not stopping till he forgets everything around him, the responsibility, the pain, the trauma, his papers that are stacked on his desk and how Luffy ruined his plan every damn time.

Only focused on the pleasure he feels traveling through his entire body, bringing his mind into another place and giving him one orgasm after another, one better than the last one and only stopping when his mind and body is fully blissed out and numb.

Praise him for everything, let him know he's safe and how good he's doing, how pretty he looks and encourage him to let go more and more with every soft whisper and kiss and please never ever forget aftercare it's the most important thing after every scene.

Get him down slowly and massage his limps, especially where he was chained or use some soothing creme.

Don't stop kissing and praising him on how good he was, just love the ever living shit out of him.

Get a warm wash cloth to wash away the remains before it gets too sticky and gets uncomfortable for him or even worse it makes him overstimulate.

Make sure he really sleeps before you leave his side to get something to eat and drink and maybe get him his favourite book. It's important to be there when he wakes up or comes out of his subspace just to make sure he won't drop and catch him if he does drop.

Cuddling, kisses and soft words of Courage and affirmation while staying in bed with him all day long.

Just be there for him and reassure him, make him feel safe and get him to understand it's okay to feel and be human.

Oh fuck Post got longer than I thought it would....welp whatever.

I just hope I'm not the only one thinking that way and if then we'll...fuck me also I'm always open to other opinions so just hit me like you mean it.

Have a great day or night ya all.

It feels kinda bare without a picture so here's one of my all time favorites.

Credits to the creator of this fine fanart

#i dont know what im doing #send help #law x reader #trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw #law smut #i don't know how to tag this #does that even count as smut ? #thats just my opinion so please dont kill me #heart pirates law #im not good at this shit #never felt more awkward #lost count on how many times i edited it #trafalgar d water law #one piece trafalgar law #law deserves to be loved #i just want to make him happy

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 14 Derision

Spoilers Below

-WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE!?

-Umm Marinette? You okay?

-Have some cereal with your milk.

-Yea something is up with Marinette.

-Marinette's bike is cool.

-Okay adrinette hand holding is cute. But something seems wrong here

-Okay so she reacted seeing an image of Kim... okay weird.

-Okay ... Marinette is having a panic attack. That feels a bit too real

-Bugs! Locker full of bugs. But what does it have to do with...

-Marinette freaked out hard. and Kim says thats her normal reaction to pranks... Kim? What the fuck?! What did you do?

-Of COURSE the akuma shows up now

-"Panic" Oh damn thats a good name for an akuma. But I know Marinette would never get akumatized (especially at this point) But I really want some art interpretations of that form

-So Marinette is having a flashback while Monarch be trying to work on akumatization... How does that work?

-Okay so Marinette had a crush on Kim in 8th grade... Wow someone somewhere owes Lunian some money.

-Marinette with her hair down! Not a drill. Flashbacks matter

-Marinette of 8th grade doesnt want to go to school... Oh wow it feels like origins. Does Sabine KNOW how bad it is? Why not just let her change schools?

-Chloé bullied Marinette, but that was already known...

-JEEZ! Bugs in the locker. Seriously!? Where did chloe make sabrina get those

-And Damacles is a f***ing asshole

-Oh Jeez, Mendeleiev still a harsh b****

-Oh come on! Someone give Marinette a break

-Wait... Kim just thought these were NORMAL Reactions to pranks. He thought these were Okay?!

-Okay wow, yea Mendeleiev and Damocles are garbage. Sure hope no one thought they were better teachers than Ms.Bustier. That would sure suck.

-Chloé is really no different then how she has been all season or season 1

-Juleka looks ready to throw hands. So I really cant hate any of the other students in the class, they seem scared of Chloé, and honestly seeing what I saw. I dont blame them.

-Mylene out right said "Chloé's mom leaving is no excuse. My mom left and I aint a bitch." Go off Queen

-At least Juleka, Rose and Mylene talked to Marinette and were kind

-Kim actually offered his swim trunks to her. Well that is kind of sweet in a himbo way.

-Chloé really just decided to hate on Marinette.

-Damn Socqueline! You defend Marinette. Maybe thats why Marinette wears her hair like that.

-So Socqueline is a year older confirmed. And it does explain the deeper lore about her knowing her mom.

-Tonto. Hehehehehehe

-For a change? So the implication is that Marinette has crushes before. Makes sense. Marinette at this point seems like the type to develop crushes on anyone nice to her.

-Kim doesnt really get when Pranks are pranks and Pranks are... well TOO far. OMG he is the "Its just a prank Bro" type

-Sabrina was watching.... oh this can only end poorly

-Oh... oh no. No no no no no no no.

-Kim you are really an idiot. And not in the endearing himbo way.

-Marinette didnt have a plan back then... Oh! This is gonna result in a trauma where she needs to... Oh wow this is gonna be traumatic af.

-Socqueline is like a big sister to her. Poor thing already can see this going poorly

-This looks like an adorable time. The marikim looks adorable, yet all I can think about is how Chloe will ruin it.

-Oh no, Kim. Please dont do this.

-IT HAD BUGS IN IT! KIM! KIM!!! IN WHAT WORLD DID YOU THINK THIS WAS AN OKAY PRANK?! THAT WAS 8 TYPES OF FUCKED UP. I DONT CARE HOW CONVINCING CHLOÉ IS. YOU ABSOLUTE GARBAGE MEATHEAD!!

-Welp... Chloé has done some f***ed up things. But Wow. This really is her at her worst. Like damn. That is just... And here I thought Lila was bad.

-So Astruc, you really needed to drive the point home on why you hate chloé. You REALLY drove it home. But really

-Socqueline Out here for the save! At the very least saving Marinette from ABSOLUTE eternal shame. Put some respect on this character that only appeared this season.

-Kim REALLY doesnt get how f***ed that was. Its a sad day when a Himbo is more dumb than kind. That just make him an idiot.

-Marinette needs a hug.

-So this explains everything about Why Marinette knows absolutely everything about adrien early on. Well except for the fact he is chat noir. But yea. It was actually TRAUMA!

-"And that he is not friends with Chloé." Yea Adrien, buddy. You might want to completely burn that bridge now. Side note, this completely contextualizes Origins and why Marinette assumed the worst about Adrien off the bat. Damn. This was deep. A little exposition heavy... but deep

-And Chloé gets Socqueline because she broke her phone. Well Damocles. You are officially s*** in my eyes. Even Darker owl seems less slay to me. YOU RUINED DARKOWL FOR ME YOU BASTARD

-She got suspended for two weeks. That sucks

-Wow, so was that flashback instant? Or was Monarch just patiently watching that flashback ENGROSSED by it?

-She broke free by working through the source of her trauma in a matter of seconds... Okay.

-Oh damn! Ondine and Adrien look ready to throw hands at Kim. And Justifiably so.

-Kim... You done goofed. You really are an idiot and My opinion of you is trash.

-Adrien going full arthur anger meme. PUNCH HIM ADRIEN. PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE

-Dude doesnt even swim with his goggles.

-Monarch really said "If I gotta settle, I can at least spin it to make it sound better than it is."

-Dark Humor, Hehe instead of Dark cupid. Clever. Cause his sense of humor is dark. Also CHAT NOIR HAS A REASON TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE.

-Its twisted that he gets his old power

-Also... was he wearing that in the pool? That thing is waterproof? Neat.

-I like the updated costume. But I hate kim right now

-Adrien is ready to throw hands.

-Chat noir wants to beat Kim's ass today. SLAY KITTY SLAY

-YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Chat noir giving Dark Humor the Two Piece No Biscuit.

-He gonna cataclysm him! oh sh*t. Chat noir really felt regret about accidentally cataclysming Monarch, but now ready to erase kim. Yea I completely understand. Valid.

-Ladybug understably needed to stop him... But that caused him to get hit with the goofy arrow. Damn

-Ladybug had to detransform and retransform quick. Tikki really sped ate her cookie today.

-She got jokes

-And Ladybug's plan faked him out and now he got a toilet on his head

-Ladybug may also be using this as a chance to work stuff out.

-The ladynoir is cute. But Chat noir was still 100% justified in his beating of dark humor... Except the cataclysm. But I get why he was ready to use it.

-Well at least Kim is owning up to his s***. He is still an idiot. But He is a himbo. But yea, still a dick move early on Kim. Path to redemption Kim. (still forgave him too quickly.) But Ondine will beat his ass if he doesnt stick to it.

-This Adrinette is adorable and sweet and understanding.

-Trauma is still there. Guess she isnt completely over it, which is understandable. It will take some time (or like 3 episodes)

-Adrien went to chloé. Oh damn. You go boy

-Yea, this chloé is season 4-5 chloé alright. Nothing surprising here. She is just vile

-Sabrina looked annoyed at that speech. (Sabrina will remember that)

-Adrien is officially done. He ended it there officially. Friendship over.

_____________________________________________________________

So I have a LOT of thoughts on this.

For one, Every adult in miraculous is an idiot. Sabine, its good you has Socqueline there to help... but that doesnt really mean s***. This is where you work with the school to have her change classes, or even schools. 3 years of that treatment is enough.

Also, Damocles. You gutless coward. Even if it did cost you your job. The fact you let yourself get controlled to let your STUDENTS suffer is gross.

And Kim... Kim you are an idiot. The fact that you didnt even think that a prank like that was too far?! Adrien was more than justified in a cataclysm. But you did apologize and promised to THINK about the consequences. Plus you are a kid. I can forgive. But THIN ICE MY GUY

Chloé, yea season 2 and Season 3 chloé might as well be a completely different character than this chloé. Zoe appeared after harnessing any decency Chloé has left. But yea, I dont care for this chloé. Not gonna defend this chloé.

So this does explain a LOT about Marinette's more cautious personality. But it also doesnt make sense in a way that Marinette didnt really think things through before. Because if thats the case... then the thing that made her a good ladybug was because of a crippling trauma?! I feel like this maybe should have fleshed out younger marinette more.

Socqueline really was like an older sister to Marinette, but sadly it feels like her inclusion without mention before makes this feel like this traumatic event wasnt planned from the get go as the reason Marinette is how she is. Also after what happened to Socqueline. How could Tom and Sabine allow Marinette to go to that school again?! Seriously. Especially after KNOWING Chloé would be in Marinette's class in origins.

Side note, Adrien was 100% perfect this episode. Loved him. Ondine too. I do wish Civilian adrien did get ONE punch on Kim tho. Just one.

Chat noir laying a beating though was great.

Right, so even though I enjoyed the episode to an extent... I cant say it leaves the show in a better place. If anything, I think it leaves things much worse off.

6/10

3 points for the adrinette moments

2 points for Chat noir laying a beating on Kim

1 point because Kim apologized.

Overall I dont like the direction of things this implies

#ml derision #ml derision spoilers #miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #gale reviews #I am a bit pissed

[bingoboingobongo]

complex simplicity pt. ii

Pairing: Adrian Chase (Peacemaker) x Reader

Type: Fluff, angst

Summary: The team finally sets out on their mission, and Adrian deals with the events of last night

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: feminine pronouns used (she/her), angst, bodily injury, blood, descriptions of violence, previous trauma, character death

A/N: hiii, welp. it's finally done. after ten trillion years of constant dread, over three rewrites, and chronic procrastination, she's finally here. my longest fic ever (i think). i hope you like it, i have no idea if there's still an Adrian Chase fandom, but to everyone that has stayed throughout my unofficial hiatus, thank you. as always, likes/reblogs and constructive criticism are always appreciated, again thank you so much. please enjoy :)

Masterlist

part one

Adrian very rarely felt happy. Although perhaps that was an overstatement. A better way to phrase it, Adrian supposed, was that he very rarely felt the way he felt now: elated; ecstatic; euphoric; like his heart was about to burst out of his chest spewing nothing but love and joy and jubilee all over the room in some passionate, exuberant, macabre scene.

In fact, he wasn’t sure he had ever felt this way. The entire ordeal was entirely unique, Adrian realized. For one, there was nobody else in the entire galaxy that could ever compare to the woman nestled into his chest, with her small frown and pursed eyebrows even as she slept. And secondly, there was nobody else in the entire galaxy that Adrian would ever want so desperately.

There was no doubt in Adrian’s mind when he realized that nobody — not even Chris, who he admired with his whole being — could ever make him feel as exhilarated as she did. She was, in all ways, one of a kind.

When Adrian woke there was no longer the comforting weight of the coworker he had spent months pining over on his chest, and for a moment he feared the worst. Could the whole thing have been a dream? A cruel concoction created by his brain meant to torment and him? It wouldn’t have been the first time he dreamt about her, and he didn’t doubt that it wouldn’t be the last.

But when he got up, his heart beating out of his chest — for all the wrong reasons now — he realized that familiar scent that always lingered around her was stuck to his skin. That sweet, fresh, intoxicating scent that had a hint of something he could never quite place, had found a home on the planes of his torso, and Adrian realized that if he could, he would’ve bottled the fragrance and sprayed it on every article of clothing he owned so that he could surround himself with her.

“Oh, you’re finally up,” she said, staring at Adrian from the door of the bathroom, and Adrian scrambled to put his glasses on. She was rubbing something on her face, moisturizer or some fancy serum, Adrian guessed, and his mind was flooded with images of him rubbing his hands over her and savoring in the softness of her skin, before he rubbed his eyes, trying to rid his brain of the picture that had been burned into it.

“Uh, yeah. How long have you been up? I mean, I’m assuming it’s been a while, you look pretty great right now. I mean awake. You look awake, not great. I mean, it’s not that you don’t look great, but I feel like it’s weird if I say you look great so I was saying that you look awake. At least, I assume so. Since you’re doing all your makeup or something. Not that you need it. You’re really pretty alrea—”

“Ok, I’m gonna stop you right there before you say something you regret,” she cut in, and despite her light tone Adrian couldn’t get past the slightly critical look she was giving him. “Economos sent me the location,” she said, “get ready. We’re leaving in thirty.”

To his surprise, Adrian got ready surprisingly fast. He figured that considering the events from the night before, as well as the catastrophe of this morning, his neurons would be way too fried for him to even get out of bed, and yet thirty minutes later he was sitting in the driver’s seat of a Dodge Challenger, going sixty miles per hour down a desolate road.

Adrian let out a whistle, “So, what do you think Waller has us doing today?”

“God I hope it’s not aliens,” she sighed, reaching into the back seat for her bag. “But let’s be real, Leota’s press conference stunt did nothing but get us heat from Waller and the rest of the government. Stupid press didn’t even do anything. She’s probably found another deadly alien race that she needs us to kill. God knows we’re expendable enough to her,” she muttered, pulling out a small handgun and loading the clip.

“I don’t know, I enjoyed fighting the butterflies,” Adrian chirped, “plus, it felt super awesome when we told the Justice League that they could suck it because they were dumb weaklings that couldn’t even arrive on time.”

She paused what she was doing to give Adrian a quizzical look, “You didn’t even say anything to them, Chase. Chris was the only one that said anything and all he said was that they were late.”

“Still though,” he pressed, “I’m sure they could understand what I was trying to say. Wanna listen to the radio?”

“Uh, sure. Do they have NPR?” she asked, prompting Adrian to give her a disapproving look. “I’m joking,” she said after a beat, “lord knows your head would explode if you listened to anything other than 90’s bubblegum pop or whatever music Chris listens to. What is it, 80’s metal?”

“Actually, it’s 80’s glam-metal, and it’s amazing. How can you call yourself an 11th Street Kid if you think glam-metal is the same as regular metal?” he scoffed, “I mean, I’ve heard of a lot of insane things over the years, but that takes the cake.”

“What’s even the difference between glam-metal and regular metal anyways? It all sounds pretty similar to me,” she said, her eyes squinted in concentration as loaded the clip on another handgun.

Adrian laughed out loud this time, turning to look over at her with a fake look of shock painted on his face, “Ok, I lied about that last thing. This, this is the most insane thing I have ever heard come out of someone’s mouth. Glam-metal and regular metal are the most different things in the entire world. Chris told me all about it. Regular metal is lame and boring and is made for cowards, glam-metal is ten times better, it’s the most unlame genre ever made, and it’s made for real men. The difference is that glam-metal—”

“Hey, stop here,” she interrupted him as they pulled into the parking lot of an abandoned grocery store, “guess you won’t be able to tell me about how amazing glam-metal is. I’m devastated,” she said, climbing out of the car, and even Adrian could pick up on her sarcasm. “Grab your bag, I don’t want to get screwed over if someone tries to steal this car.” With a sigh, Adrian grabbed his bag from the car and slung it over his shoulder as the two of them walked towards the store.

If the half-fallen sign in the front of the building wasn’t enough indication that the place hadn’t been visited for years, the inside was. Shelves were knocked over, trash was piled in corners, and various assortments of canned goods lined the floors.

“Hey, look at this,” Adrian grunted, squatting down to pick a package off the floor, “it’s a pack of beef jerky. Think it’s still good?”

“I- No, Adrian. I do not think floor jerky from an abandoned grocery store is good,” she said incredulously.

But in typical Adrian fashion, the word of his peers was never enough, and so he opened up the years-old package and popped a piece in his mouth. “Hm,” he hummed to himself as he chewed, “you know, it’s not as bad as I thought. It’s a little stale, but given the price I paid for these, I’d say it’s a total win. Want one?”

“Oh my god Adrian,” she sighed, rubbing her eyes, “I- Just come on, We’ve gotta meet the others, I don’t have time to deal with you and your floor jerky.” With a resigned shrug of his shoulders, Adrian followed her throughout the derelict store, chewing contentedly on his floor jerky until they reached a small room in the back. She stopped in front of the door, and with a deep breath, gave one sharp rap, followed by two quick ones and one delayed one. The two of them waited in silence for a brief moment before the door opened, revealing Leota by the door, Emilia leaning over a large map, John typing away at his computer, and Chris staring over his shoulder.

“Finally,” John sighed, looking up from his screen, “what took you guys so long?”

“Adrian ate ten year-old floor-jerky,” she explained, which caused a groan from everyone.

“What?” Adrian cried, “jerky is what you eat during the apocalypse, it’s made to be eaten centuries after it’s cooked.”

Leota scoffed, “That is not true, and also there are rats here man. How do you know your floor-jerky wasn’t part of some rat’s dinner?”

“Yeah, like I’m gonna die of plague, that hasn’t killed anyone since the year 200, Adebayo. And if I were to catch it, I could probably just sleep it off,” Adrian said, chuckling.

“Dude, you can’t just sleep off plague,” Chris butted in.

“Uh, I totally could,” Adrian persisted.

“Dude,” John said, “it’s plague.”

“Ok we get it,” she cut in, silencing Adrian with a look that only encouraged the butterflies in his stomach, “Adrian’s stupid and he’s probably gonna die. What else is new? Now can we figure out what the hell is going on with this mission?”

Emilia looked up from the map, passing out dossiers to each member of the team. “Ten weeks ago, the President’s secret service arrived in Maine to secure a location the president would be speaking at,” she explained, pointing to a circled area on the map. “Within the hour, all five agents were found dead on the scene. First responders noted a single gunshot right between the eyebrows on each agent, ballistics assuming that they were shot long-distance, presumably a sniper.”

“Wait, they’re assuming?” Chris asked, looking up from the file, “these nerds spend all day analyzing bullets and they can’t even find out what gun the bullet is from?”

“Well these ‘nerds’ are the only people we have so don’t complain,” Emilia said, “besides, it’s pretty hard to analyze a bullet when there aren’t any.”

“Wait,” Adrian said slowly, “so whoever shot them took the bullets back after they were done?”

“Hey, what’s this?” she asked, and her voice sounded like a symphony to Adrian’s ears. “The autopsy report stated that the cause of death was batrachotoxin? What in the world is that? And does this mean the shots were done post-mortem?”

“Batrachotoxin,” John started, bringing his laptop over to the center of the table, “is an insanely powerful neurotoxin found on, get this, the skin of poison dart frogs. Get less than a gram of this stuff into your bloodstream, and in less then ten minutes you’ll be suffering from paralysis and then death.”

“Well that doesn’t make any sense,” Chris started.

“Exactly,” Emilia cut in, “if the toxin was already gonna kill them, why bother shooting them?”

“Oh, that’s not what I was talking about,” Chris said, “I was talking about the thing Economos said. How do you suffer from death? You can’t be suffering from death because you’ll already be dead.”

“Ok, it’s a figure of speech,” John said.

“Yeah, a dumb one,” Chris said, chuckling, “you know John, I was actually starting to think you were smart when you were talking about all that poison stuff but then this?”

“Hey screw you!” John yelled, although his protest was diminished by Chris’ roars of laughter.

“Ok, everyone shut up!” Emilia yelled, clenching her fists together. “We’re not done here yet, keep your egos in check until we’re done, got it?” she asked, “good. Now, since then, secret service agents have been dying the same way whenever they go to scout out a new location. It’s always the same situation: death by batrachotoxin, a post-mortem bullet to the head with no bullet, no witnesses, suspects, or evidence.”

“So, what are we doing here?” Adrian asked.

“At 5 this afternoon, the secret service is supposed to scout out an outdoor speaking event for the president. Waller wants us to arrive beforehand and see if there’s anyone suspicious who may be our guy. In the event that we do see him, Waller has been very insistent that we do not kill him? Understand?” Emilia asked, eyeing Chris and Adrian.

“Hey, why are you looking at us?” Adrian whined.

“Because you’re not exactly Mahatma Gandhi, and if we kill our guy, Waller will kill us.”

“The deaths coincide with dates the president is supposed to talk about his new anti-nuclear weapon policy, is it possible this is a rival politician trying to stop the president from talking about his new policy?” Leota asked.

“That’s our current lead,” Emilia explained, “Economos has been looking into politicians that disagree with the president’s policy, we’ve been tracking their comings and goings, looking into their communications, and trying to find anything that might lead to our guy. However, given the fact that we were assigned this mission two nights ago and the concerningly large number of politicians that want more nukes, we’ve barely been able to get through anything.”

“You said the senator was coming in right Harcourt? That’s why our hotel was so booked up. And this poison has to be coming from somewhere, poison dart frogs are native to central america right? So shouldn’t we be checking whether or not any of these guys have made repeated trips down to the border? I mean, getting this stuff through customs can’t be easy,” she pointed out, and when Adrian looked over at her, he had to physically stop himself from staring at her for too long.

“You’re right. Economos, check that out. For now, Leota and John will stay at the hotel and research our politicians. The rest of us will go to the location and try and see if we find anyone. This,” Emilia explained, pointing to another circle on the map, “is where the president will be speaking. Me and Chris will be watching the park and the two of you will surveill the forest behind it. If these shots were done by a sniper, the forest would be a good place to do it.”

Adrian sucked in a sharp breath, he was nervous, to say the least. “Hey Harcourt?” he asked, “can I talk to you real quick?”

Emilia sighed, but she let Adrian pull her aside while the rest of the team continued to look through the case files. “What do you need, Chase?” she asked with a sigh.

“I’m not trying to be uncool or anything but do you think it’s possible that I could go with Chris instead? It’s just that we’ve got a real ‘Bert-and-Ernie’ vibe and I think it would be good for the mission.”

Emilia sighed, “Bert and Ernie? Like from Sesame Street?”

“Wait, that’s where it’s from?” Adrian asked incredulously, “I thought Bert and Ernie were just some really good friends from like 1934 or something, and then they were just known throughout town as being really good friends, and so when someone else wanted to prove how good of friends they were with someone else, they would just say that they had a Bert and Ernie friendship, since Bert and Er—”

“Ok shut up Chase,” Emilia demanded. “Is this about your weird little crush on her?” she asked, gesturing over to where she currently sat, rifling through the dossier with that familiar crinkle in her brow.

Adrian scoffed loudly, “Please, what? Crush? Who- Who said I had a crush on her? Please, that’s- How old am I? Twelve? I don’t… I don’t like her.”

Emilia stared at him, her lack of belief in his statement clear on her face. “Well then, if you don’t like her then you should be fine working with her,” she said, turning away from Adrian with a shake of her head. “But Adrian?” she said, turning back to face him, “if you mess this up because you couldn’t keep it in your pants, Waller won’t be the only woman looking for your head.”

“Got it,” Adrian said awkwardly, although Harcourt had already walked away from him. Puffing air out of his lips, Adrian walked over to where his roommate and subsequent heartstopper was standing. He allowed himself to admire her focused stare for a second before he cleared his throat. “So…” he started, swinging his hands around. “Guess we’re gonna be partners… again,” he said, laughing awkwardly. “Just… two normal coworkers… working together… no weird feelings. I mean, of course there’s no weird feelings, I don’t even have feelings like I said last night, which was a totally normal night where nothing happened, definitely not during the middle of the night when you were sleeping… so should we go to the car?” he said, after clocking her stare.

“You’re acting really weird Chase,” she said, looking him up and down. “Let’s just get this done alright?” she said, slinging a duffel bag over her shoulder. Adrian watched her walk away for a moment before following her, but before he could Chris stopped him.

“Dude, just admit it, you like her,” Chris said.

“Psh, uh- wha- huh? I don’t- I don’t know what you’re talking about Chris, I have no feelings towards her at all, and definitely not love feelings,” Adrian spluttered frantically.

“Jesus Christ you’re hopeless Adrian.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that anyone with two eyes and half a brain can tell that you’re way into her dude. And I don’t mean that you just like her romantically, you’re pretty much in love you idiot.”

“Ok, that’s just not true Chris,” Adrian protested, although he had to admit that he had thought about it, “you should know better than anyone else that love? That’s just not the Vigilante-way. You and I? We put criminals to sleep and take their women to bed. We don’t get hung up on love or relationships or dreaming about owning a two story house with a white picket fence or a New York apartment or whatever housing situation our lover likes the best because they’re the most important thing to us and we would do anything to make them happy. No, the only people you and I are interested in is criminals, and murdering them. I know your time in Belle Reeve changed you and now you’re like this peace-loving hippie that doesn’t want to kill anyone and has crushes on people, but that’s not me. That’s not Vigilante. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go join my work partner on a very normal drive which I will very much enjoy because she is my coworker, and the only feelings I have towards her are respect and friendship.”

Chris shook his head. “Whatever you say man,” he said, giving Adrian a hard clap on the shoulder and sending him away.

“Sorry about that,” Adrian said as he climbed into the passenger seat of the car.

“About what?” she asked, flexing her hands against the steering wheel.

“Well- Chris had to talk to me about… something, so that’s why I took so long to come out.”

“Oh,” she said, “I didn’t notice.”

The two of them didn’t say much after that; she stared silently ahead at the road in front of them while Adrian gazed out the window, his eyes only flickering over to her occasionally. He wasn’t sure why but there was something off about her now. She was a naturally stoic and silent person, he knew — after all it was one of the reasons why he was so obsessed with her — but there was something else beneath her constrained quietness. A difference in the air around her; usually it felt calm, serene, still. But now, he could almost sense something disturbed about it. As if her stony facade were a smooth pond that had been marred by outward-moving rings of concentric circles, and yet what had caused the disturbance was still unknown, its very nature hidden away in the depths of the water.

It was then that Adrian thought back to the night before. He mulled over their conversations, choosing to skip over his many social errs and follies, when he remembered something that had struck him as odd when he heard it. “What did you mean when you said the bed was ‘too big’ last night?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.

“What did you mean when you asked Harcourt for a new partner?” she countered immediately, and to his surprise Adrian could feel a hint of emotion deep underneath her words, although the exact one was still unknown to him.

“I- That- It wasn’t what you think it was,” he tried to explain.

She chuckled dryly. “Is working with me really so horrible?” she asked, but Adrian could still sense that foreign emotion nudging at the edge of her words, yearning to free itself from its prison.

“No! No, not at all! It’s the opposite of that really,” Adrian said hurriedly. “It’s just that- I- You- I think… I think that you and I… I’m worried that we’re not… compatible? And… I guess that I’m just worried that you think I’m… you know,” he said, mumbling the last part.

“You’re what?” she asked, looking over at him, “weird? Annoying? Way too talkative?”

Adrian sighed, nodding glumly as he looked out the window. To his annoyance, it was ironically bright outside. The sun shining brightly overhead, there were no clouds in the sky, and the trees were rife with leaves as green as shamrocks. It looked like a scene from an oppressively happy movie — one that would be filled to the brim with cheesy romance, choreographed musical numbers, and shallow conflict that would be resolved in minutes. In other words, the exact opposite of his life.

“You’re right, I guess,” she said, her voice growing smaller now. “I do think you’re weird and annoying and way too talkative, but… for what it’s worth, I don’t really mind, and I don’t really mind… working with you,” she said, her voice now so quiet that it was barely above a whisper.

And it was then that the wool was finally pulled off Adrian’s eyes and he could see with startling clarity what he had missed before. The object that had disturbed the smooth pond of her aura, the hidden emotion that lurked beneath her words, he knew what it was now. He held it on the forefront of his mind and the tip of his tongue.

Betrayal.

She had overheard him asking for a partner change and she had felt hurt, she had felt offended, she had felt betrayed. And Adrian couldn’t have been more joyful. After what seemed like eons of searching for answers, for clues, anything that could’ve tipped the scales ever-so-slightly in his favor, he had found the very thing that would solve all his problems. Proof. Real, physical, audible proof that came out of her mouth that she cared. She cared about what he thought of her, even more, she enjoyed working with him. In all ways, it was a success, and Adrian had to fight to stop himself from bursting into giddy laughter right then and there.

“What are you grinning about?” she asked him, the betrayal no longer in her voice but instead replaced by something Adrian believed — hoped, really — to be playfulness.

“Nothing,” he said coyly, his smile growing impossibly bigger. “I mean, if I didn’t know any better I would say that you liked me,” he teased, grinning at her.

She glared back at him, but this time Adrian figured it held slightly less contempt that normal, “Say something stupid like that again and I’ll shoot you right now, got it Chase?” she threatened.

“Whatever you say,” he chuckled, “like you’re gonna murder the love of your life.”

“Good god,” she sighed, rolling her eyes as she redirected her attention back to the road.

When they arrived at the location there was nothing particularly absurd about it. It was a medium-sized field of green grass surrounded by a ring of forest behind it. There was a podium in the center of the field, its body covered by a banner of the President’s face, the background of which was covered with patriotic reds and blues. In front of it were rows upon rows of folding chairs, and behind the podium were six American flags, the cloth hanging limply in the windless air.

“Come on,” she sighed, “Harcourt says we have to surveill the forest so we better get set up.” The forest seemed to be well over a mile away from where they stood, and so with a groan Adrian grabbed his things and followed behind her.

The trek to the forest was tedious at best. By then, the sun was directly overhead and its suffocating rays beat down at them insistently. Adrian could feel his body begin to drip with sweat as they trudged towards the forest, which seemed to only grow further and further away. To take his mind away from the torrid atmosphere, he focused on the person in front of him. The way her hair jolted every so slightly as she walked. The resoluteness of each step she took, as if each was carefully planned to take her further. The way she had finally admitted to him that she had some sort of feelings towards him, even if her voice was so quiet he worried that he may have imagined it.

With his focus diverted to her, the arid walk to the forest seemed irrelevant, like an after-thought, and before long they were standing on the edge of the trees. It was here Adrian realized that what he thought had been a densely packed area of trees was really nothing of the sort. In reality, the forest was quite sparse and exiguous; in fact, if you looked up the sky was startlingly visible. Its cloudless, turquoise expanse looming over them.

“Well, shall we go in m’lady?” he asked, sweeping his hand outward. She rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath but she went in regardless.

As she walked in, Adrian realized that they were sorely under-resourced for this kind of mission. The forest was impressively large, and even if it was relatively devoid of trees and shrubs, it would still take hours to search it completely. “Hey,” Adrian said, reaching for her shoulder to stop her from diligently soldiering on, “How are we supposed to find someone in here? This place is huge.”

She paused, scanning their surroundings, “You’ve got a point Chase,” she admitted, “I guess our best option would be to split up and look around, maybe find a vantage point a sniper might like. From there, if we don’t find them I guess we can find somewhere to meet up.” Adrian nodded slowly, although he was too preoccupied being upset that they would have to split up to truly understand what she was saying. She continued again, “I’ll radio Harcourt to tell her the plan, you go west, I’ll go east. We’ll walk to the edge of the forest and from there converge in the north. Check out high points and anything suspicious, if we find anything, radio each other. This guy is definitely a professional, so don’t engage unless we’re both there, or unless you’re one hundred percent sure that you can neutralize him without killing him. Remember, if he dies, Waller will make sure we do too. Got it?”

“Uh, yeah,” Adrian said, “hey if you want, I can go east. I was just thinking that there are more trees eastward and since I have a helmet and you don’t I’m sure you could use the shade. Plus, this suit is insulated so it’s like a meat freezer in here, if you know what I mean.”

“Ugh, gross,” she said, “but whatever. Thanks, I guess.”

Adrian nodded enthusiastically in response, but by then she had already turned her back to him, the duffel bag of gear swinging as she slowly disappeared into the trees. With a sigh, Adrian readjusted the strap of his own duffel bag and turned towards the expanse he was to explore.

For the most part, his scouting was relatively uneventful. Occasionally, he would hear a rustle of leaves or a snapped twig, but when he went to check it out it would be nothing but the wind or a small animal. He spent most of the time lost in his thoughts, consumed by the hurricane of events that had preceded what he was doing now. The hotel room, the cuddling, the confession; just a few hours ago he had felt abandoned. Like the earth and the sky and everyone else was leaving him, off to live their happily ever afters without him.

But then, she had said those magical words, and Adrian’s world changed. No longer had he been left behind; now he was one with the earth and the sky and everyone else. He was one of them, ready to live out his own happily ever after with her. He repeated her words over and over in her head like a mantra, I don’t really mind working with you, he whispered to himself, taking steps in tandem with his words.

I don’t really mind working with you. One step.

I don’t really mind working with you. Two steps.

I don't really mind work—

“Chase,” he heard, the staticky chatter of the radio pulling him from his thoughts. “I think I see him, I just sent you my loca—” But then her voice was interrupted by a sickeningly familiar sound. One that rooted Adrian to his spot and sent chills cascading down his spine. A brief whistle of air followed by a startling crack as loud as a firework.

A gunshot.

Adrian began to panic. A gunshot was bad, very, very bad. She hadn’t been wearing a bulletproof vest. He had convinced her earlier that it was a needless precaution. It was dangerously hot outside and it would only slow them down. Besides, it wasn’t as if they were going to take him down alone.

By now they had to have been at least a mile away from each other. Even if he sprinted it would take him at least eight minutes to get there, and he wasn’t sure she had that long. For all he knew he could she could be dead.

That thought startled him into clarity, and in his newfound rationality he dropped the duffel and began running back where he came, digging furiously through his belt for his phone. Her coordinates only brought more bad news. Like he suspected, she was over a mile away. If she had been shot in the heart — which wouldn’t be unexpected, considering how good of a shot their suspect was — she would probably have died by now. A shot to the abdomen wasn’t good either. A few more minutes and she would be dead.

For now, Adrian could only cling onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, she hadn’t been the one to get shot. Maybe she shot him, or it was just a hunter somewhere miles away. Anything other than face the possibility that he may never see her again.

While he was running — branches scratching at his arms and rocks digging into his shoes — he came to another terrifying realization. Like him and Chris, she had a life outside of this. A life that he didn’t know, and that didn’t know him. She had other friends and other coworkers, and there was a frighteningly real chance that if she did die, he would never make it to her funeral. He would never be able to say his final goodbye. Never be able to at least cling onto her palm, no matter how cold it was, and tell her that he always loved her and that he’d never get over her.

And then with a shiver he realized it was all his fault.

He had been the one to convince her to take off her vest. He had been the one to propose they switch sides. He had been the one to make her life hell these past days. With his incessant pestering and teasing and blabbering. He should’ve been the one coming face-to-face with their sniper. His suit was already bulletproof, there would be no harm to him. She would come for back-up, they’d take him down, and maybe Adrian would even ask her out.

And now he wouldn’t even have the chance.

Adrian kept running throughout the forest. It was all he could do. All he knew how to do. One foot in front of the other. One step. Two steps. Three steps. Just like she had done just hours before when they were entering the forest. Just like she had before she fell victim to its cruel inhabitant.

His mind would’ve only spiraled further if his thoughts hadn’t been interrupted. From his belt, his radio began to chirp its small, static song. Without slowing down, Adrian pulled at the radio, holding it close to his ear to hear what was coming out.

“Where are—”

“Hel—”

“He got aw—”

“Tell Har—”

He could hear her voice crackling in and out of the receiver. Her voice was small and croaky. As if every word was strenuous and difficult. It did, however, bring a glimmer of hope. If she was strong enough to click the button of the radio and strong enough to lift it to her face, then there was a chance that she would be strong enough to hold on a little longer.

“Just wait,” he whispered into the radio, more of a plea than a request. “Please god, just wait. Please. Please. Please. You can’t go. Don’t go,” he babbled, realizing that tears had begun to stream down his face, soaking the inside of his mask. He kept rambling into the radio as he ran, not really knowing what he was saying and not really caring either.

After what seemed like a painfully long time, Adrian arrived at her location: a brief clearing near a cliffside. For a moment he couldn’t find her, and his heart was seized with panic and fear. The sight was unsettlingly macabre. In the center was a haunting trail of sticky blood. The crimson liquid tainting the green grass beneath it. His eyes traced up its winding path until he saw her, slumped over against a tree.

Her hands laid on either side of her, their palms facing the sky. The sight of her reminded him of biblical paintings he saw during his childhood. Jesus, his palms up to the sky, praising the Lord and readying himself to ascend to the heavens. It also reminded him of a sacrifice. As if someone had propped her up against the tree to sacrifice to some cruel god. Although, Adrian supposed, it was clear now that all gods were cruel. Cruel because they let her get hurt. Cruel because they made it his fault. Cruel because they made him love her.

He realized then that he hadn’t moved since entering the clearing and so he hastily rushed over to her. His hands fumbled and shook as he reached for her wrist. It was limp and pliable in his grip, but he could ever so faintly feel the whisper of a pulse. “Come on,” he whispered to her, “wake up. Come on. Wake up. Come on. Wake up.” Over and over again he repeated this, although it worked more to calm him than to stimulate her.

The first thing he needed to do was stop the bleeding. And yet, there was so much blood that he could barely tell where it began. At that point, his hyperventilating had begun to fog up his helmet, and so he lifted it off so he could care for her, frantically shoving his glasses onto his face. The lack of his helmet, however, made everything seem so much worse. With the red tint of his visor no longer there to mask some of the damage, he was forced to face the extent of her wounds head-on.

Clenching his hands into balls, he took a shaky breath to steady himself. Carefully, he began to feel around her abdomen, caressing the smooth canvas of her skin until he found it. The divot of a gunshot. As far as he knew it hadn’t hit anything vital, although he worried that it was dangerously close to her spinal cord.

Adrian swiveled around, searching for the duffel bag. It would have first aid in it, gauze, bandages, painkillers, but it was nowhere to be found. He realized that their mystery sniper had most likely taken it, and then he remembered why they had the duffel in the first place. The mission. Quickly, he grabbed the radio off of his belt, cursing as he fumbled wildly with the controls until he could tune into Harcourt and Chris’ frequency.

“Help,” he said frantically. “Help. Help. We need help. She got shot. I’ll send you our coordinates, just get help,” he said, too frenzied to add anything more.

He had to stop the bleeding. He had to find something that he could use to wrap it, to apply pressure. There was no duffel, no gauze, no bandages, so did the only thing he could think to do. He started undressing. As fast as he could he started shedding his gear, cursing his past self for adding so many layers.

After a frustratingly long time, he was finally left in a long-sleeve black shirt. Hastily, he ripped a large piece off the bottom and prepared to lift her. Adrian sat down next to her, and trying to be as careful as possible, slowly lifted her into his lap so that her head was resting on his leg. From this position, it was much easier for him to navigate her body. For him to carefully and tightly wrap the strip of cloth around her waist. For him to gently wipe some of the hair off of her bloodied face. For him to grip onto her hand and whisper that everything would be alright.

But there was too much blood, he realized. It didn’t make sense, it wasn’t possible to lose such a large amount of blood from one gunshot, which meant there had to be another. He looked back at the trail of blood. She was the strongest person he knew, if she dragged herself to the tree he knew it would be because she had to. With a bout of clarity, he began scanning her legs until his eyes rested on another wound.

This gunshot was located on her thigh, just above her knee. It was slowly spitting up blood, the liquid oozing out in small rivulets. Cursing under his breath, he fished a knife out from his belt and, carefully, cut away the cloth around it. He hastily peeled off his shirt so that he could construct a tourniquet and began to tie it around her leg, just above the wound.

Adrian held his breath as he watched the wound on her leg. To his relief, it had slowly stopped bleeding, and he let out a sigh. “I’m sorry,” he whispered to her, stroking some hair off of her forehead, “I’m so sorry. It should’ve been me, this is all my fault.”

Then, for some reason Adrian couldn’t understand, he was overwhelmed with the urge to be close to her. And very carefully, he lifted her from where she lay and pulled her close to him so that her back was against his chest.

In these moments while he waited for the team to find them, it was quiet. With her against him, Adrian felt oddly peaceful. He felt placid. He felt as if he were floating in the middle of an ocean. He let himself be buoyed by the waves, opened himself up to the gentle lull of their movement. And so because he was very tired — after all he had been through so much already — he let himself close his eyes. He let himself dream.

He dreamed that they were in Paris, sitting on a balcony and watching the sun set. Her, leaning against him like she was now, and him with his arm around her waist, stroking the plane of her side tenderly. Once the sun set, they would stare with awe and amazement at just how quickly the city transformed. How it became bright and vibrant. How the Eiffel Tower lit up the night sky. She would stare up at him, and in her eyes would be a twinkle so bright and loving that it would outshine every other light in the city.

Or if they weren’t in Paris, perhaps they were in the Bahamas. Where the sky was always clear and the ocean was always blue. Where the sun was always shining, but not as forcefully as it had before. Instead, the sun’s rays would be gentle, a delight instead of a torment. They would be sitting along the beach, the sand nestled in between their toes, and Adrian would smile lazily down at her, and she would smile back.

By the time she woke up, Adrian had been in the hospital for over a day. They had been lucky though. The team had found them quickly and their sniper was caught fleeing the scene. The surgery went smoothly, and when it was done the doctors informed that team that had the bullet had narrowly missed her spinal cord as well as several internal organs. She would be in a coma, they told him, due to her severe blood loss but she would be awake again soon.

Adrian didn’t consider that lucky though. Luck was not getting shot in the first place. Luck was never being assigned to this wretched mission at all. Luck was being able to live your life without worrying about which government official was going to risk your life for some stupid political campaign.

He couldn’t help but be mad. At the sniper, at the team, at himself. It was all so preventable. If he had just pushed Harcourt a little further for a new teammate. If he had just kept his mouth shut instead of suggesting they switch sides. If he had just gotten there a little bit faster or tied the tourniquet a little bit tighter.

“I said the bed was too big because of something that happened before I joined the team,” she said, her voice small and raspy, and Adrian looked up. He had been so engrossed in his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed her stir from her hospital bed.

“What?” he asked, too shocked to say anything else.

“A few years ago,” she said, letting out a deep sigh, “I was an A.R.G.U.S. agent. I was young and dumb and reckless and I became friends with a fellow agent, Jason. One day, we were working a mission. We were in a big clearing and I was stupid and walked right in without checking for traps. It was a set-up of couse, and I got shot.” Adrian took in a sharp breathe at this, but she waved her hand dismissively and continued. “It wasn’t bad, just nicked my arm.”

“But Jason had followed me, and he wasn’t so lucky. He got shot in the chest, and before I knew it he was on the ground. It was a terrible feeling. We were like some dumb animal, wandering straight into a trap where we could just be plucked off one by one. I had no shield, no cover, nothing. There were bullets flying around me and I didn’t know what to do.

“I wasn’t thinking straight and so I did the first thing I could think of and ran back where I came from, leaving Jason behind. Once I was in the forest, I could see what happened to him. He had been shot more times than I could count. None of them fatal, which is worse. Eventually the bullets stopped, but I couldn’t go back out there. I watched, less than six feet away as one of my best friends choked to death on his own blood. All because of me.

“I remember what it felt like attending his funeral. It was in a cathedral. The ceiling was so high and the whole place was so open. It reminded me of when he died. Of the openness, of the vulnerability, of the shame.

“I realized then why A.R.G.U.S. tells you not to befriend any of your coworkers. It’s because you get close to them. And when they inevitably die, you obsess over it. And they were right. I did. I couldn’t stop thinking about how scared I had been, and how scared Jason must have been. I was able to get away relatively unharmed, but Jason’s body had been mutilated so badly the funeral had to be closed-casket.”

“That’s why you dragged yourself to the tree,” Adrian whispered quietly.

She nodded, and there was a hint of sadness behind her smile. “Why’d you tell me this?” Adrian asked softly, “I mean, I appreciate it but, it’s not exactly ‘in-character’ for you.”

She laughed lightly, “Well you saved my life out there Adrian. If it weren’t for you I would just be another Jason. I owed you one, and now my debt is repaid.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get there in time,” he whispered, reaching out tentatively to grab her hand.

She let him grab it, and when he did she squeezed it back. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a terrible teammate.”

“Don’t say that, you’ve been perfect. You’re perfect,” he said.

Adrian smiled at her, and she smiled back. Once Adrian had considered her an enigma. A mystery. An equation waiting to be solved. But here in the hospital, with its fluorescent bulbs humming lightly and the dull buzz and whirs of the machines, he realized that she was anything but. At the end of the day, she was just a girl — a person, like him — who was scared. Who was haunted by the ghosts of her past. Who was more comfortable locking things away than presenting them freely. Who would rather be seen as someone intimidating and formidable than caring and emotional. And it was so simple, he realized, the basis of her being. Her motives, her desires, her wants. They were basic. They were human.

And yet as simple as they were, there was a layer of complexity to them. There was a layer of complexity to her. In a way, she reminded him of a bank vault. The mechanics of the door — the locks, the screws, the bolts — were intensely complicated. They were purposely designed to be impenetrable. Each facet was orchestrated so carefully so that the treasures inside would never be seen without the right password.

But now, Adrian had the right password. And when he was finally able to get past the vault's solid doors and view the treasure inside, he could finally appreciate just how beautifully simple it was. The luxuries inside were akin to diamonds, both in beauty and personality.

Like a diamond, she too had experienced a life of suffocating pressure. Pushing down farther and farther on her until finally, she did not crack, but instead became an impeccable jewel. A stone, unrivaled in its beauty and worth, with not even the slightest impurity to desecrate it. A diamond was beautiful because it was perfectly simple, just like her.

And it was this limbo, this teetering balance of complex simplicity that she was so comfortable in, that had drawn Adrian, like a moth to a flame, into her. It was this limbo that had allured him so intensely, so powerfully, that he could not bear to turn away. And it was in this limbo, Adrian knew, that he loved her, and that he would always love her. For he had become hers. And he knew this because his heart, his soul, and his livelihood had become clutched tightly in her grasp.

And while he watched her smile at him, her eyebrows finally uncreasing, he hoped that whatever god was out there would not be so cruel as to make her let go.

#bingoboingobongo.com #adrian chase x reader #adrian chase fluff #adrian chase angst #adrian chase smut #adrian chase imagine #adrian chase fic #adrian chase one shot #adrian chase #peacemaker #vigilante #vigilante x reader #vigilante fluff #vigilante angst #vigilante smut #vigilante imagine

[fic-recs-4myself]

What is your favourite Drarry fic and favourite Wolfstar fic?

First of hi!! I think you are my first ask ever, this blog is purely my fanfic reblogs repository so it's nice to see someone else here.

I wouldn't say I have one only favorite of this but I can give you a top five

WOLFSTAR TOP 5

A. All the young dudes by MsKingBean89

This one's mandatory but I have to admit I never finished it. I'm too scared to read the ending even if I already know what happens.

But I just love how their characters are portrayed especially Remus!

B. Text Talk by Merlywhirls

This one's also a classic but, It's so cute, so sad, so adorable and unique. Truly something to read over and over again.

C. (The entirety of )Discard Verse by picascribit

Im pasting the series summary here because I can't describe it better and everyone should give it a chance. Beware of the warnings tho!

Non-magic Wolfstar AU romance set in contemporary Seattle. Sirius is a mixed race White/Japanese trans man, and an assistant librarian at the Seattle Public Library. Remus is Latino and an HIV+ homeless college student and sex worker. There are some angsty bits, but overall it's not a downer.

My sweet Remus is the strongest person alive in every fic I love him so much.

D. Pray the gay away by orphan account

Remus' parents send him to a Christian camp designed to help him control his “Same Sex Attraction”. Once there, Remus finds himself rooming with the devilishly handsome bad-boy, Sirius Black. Will he give in to temptation? Could the attraction he feels for Sirius be more than physical? Non-Magical 1970s AU

Amazing work it's as beautiful as it's sad. Again beware warnings.

E. Don't fuck this up lupin by blibberinghumdiggory

Short cute soulmates au fic

DRARRY TOP 5

A. F*ck! by shushu_yaoi_lj

Cute and hot an so much fun to read

B. The importance of being Draco Malfoy by poppyhills

The amnesia fic you didn't know you needed but I can assure you you do. It's so much fun and such an unique view of Draco's mind.

C. Dear cousin, love Regulus by LLAPI115 and XxTheDarkLordxX

Quite honestly the drarry takes a backseat to all the character work Draco does but still beautiful and necessary read

D. Chaos is my second home by

This is the third work of the series and you should probably read the other ones to understand but basically it's our boys with a whole less trauma sort of. Since Vernon and Lucius died when their kids are babes their upbringing is really different and their relationship later has a whole other first steps and I loved all the thought put into their characters.

E. Silk Sheets

Purely porn without (much) plot but I believe it deserves a special mention because of all the times I have read it.

Welp! That's it, honestly I just checked my AO3 bookmarks to make this list but it was really nice to remember all these lovely fics sorry I didn't tag them but you can find them by name or author on AO3. I have a bunch more of fics left especially drarry so let me know if you want me to post another list!

#drarry #drarry fic recs #wolfstar #wolfstar recs #hp

[gatitties]

Incorrect quotes

─ Dbd x gn!teen!reader

─ Summary: just you being you

─ Warnings: none

*(I will be using y/n for this chapter)*

6 < 7 > 8 

You: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Amanda: You don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Ghostface: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Y/n have been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get them out...

You: You know, not every problem can be solved with an axe.

Huntress: That's why I carry more than one axe.

Dwight: What are your goals?

You: To pet all the dogs.

Dwight: No, fitness goals.

You: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

Demogorgon: *happy noises on the background*

Feng Min: It’s dark in here.

You: Don't worry, I got this.

You: *Stomp your feet*

You: *Skechers light up*

You: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Ghostface: We're the best thing that happened to you?

Frank: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Nurse: You know those things will kill you, right?

You, pouring another glass of whiskey, lightning a cigarette and taking a raw cookie dough: That’s the point.

Meg: David, I'm sad.

David: *Hold out arms for a hug* I'ts going to be okay.

Steve: Hey y/n, I'm sad.

You: yeah, me too.

You: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Julie: Not if they consent to it.

Joey: Depends who you're stabbing.

Susie: Do it.

Dwight, banging on the door: Y/n! Open up!

You: Well, it all started when I installed Twitter...

Kate: No, he meant-

Claudette: Let them finish.

You, threatening the others with an amongus suit: Listen... life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... and today, it's gonna give you... amogus inflatable suits!

Entity, going over your resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.

You: yes.

Entity: Okay... may I know what you create?

You: Problems.

Jake, addressing the survivors: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

Nancy: But that's just a trash can.

You: Innovative, I like it.

Quentin: You often use humor to deflect trauma.

You: Thank you.

Quentin: I didn't say that was a good thing.

You: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.

You, arriving at the exit of a game: Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Trickster: THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

Yui Kimura: We need a distraction.

Tapp: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

You, whispering: My time has come.

*Some characters reacting to y/n saying 'I love you'*

Claudette: Thank you!

David: Oh no, what do you want?

Demogorgon: *Happy gurgles*

Bubba: *A flustered mess*

Freddy: Sounds fake but okay.

Jake: can I get a refund?

You: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Huntress: Have everyone stand.

Wraith: Bring three more chairs.

Amanda: The most important ones can sit down.

Freddy: Kill three.

Tapp: Good morning.

Kate: Good morning.

Cheryl: Good morning.

Ace: Ya'll sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

You: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS *throw a slice of cheese in Ace's face*

You: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill my self again.

You: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Ghostface: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.

You: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING SUSIE WITH ME.

Julie, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

You: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Hillbilly: The cow???

*Preparing to sleep*

You: Goodnight moon.

You: Goodnight tree.

You: Good night ghost that only I can see.

Ghostface, looking from the window: no one had ever cared so much about me.

You: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress... welp *keep watching tiktok*

#gender neutral reader #reader insert #x reader #platonic #killersxreader #dbd #teen reader #platonic reader #survivorsxreader #dbd x reader #incorrect quotes #gn reader #ace visconti #ghostface #wraith #huntress #david king #dbd dwight #dbd claudette #feng min #x y/n #y/n #fanfic #fandom

[thedawningofthehour]

so while I've been reading doth---and I'm sure this is mostly cuz I'm a sucker for good family dynamics---I've been all for draxum and galois and Casey getting to be a good healthy family unit, and have been righteously annoyed on the family for not being able to see that Donnie and galois are two separate people now and trying to treat gale like he's still they're brother when he's now functionally NOT, but then I got thinking about how, if when Donnie got new memories and became galois 'Donnie' continued existing as like a spirit or something, how he would feel about current events. And. I came up with this.

"Oh, no no no no, no no NO NO NO!!! HOW DARE YOU? How dare you care about him? How dare you comfort him? YOU DID THIS! You're the one who gave him those traumas! You don't get to pretend you didn't do anything! You don't get to erase what you did to me, like it didn't happen! How dare you erase my life, erase ME like I didn't matter. Like you can just make up this perfect son without having to deal with such silly inconveniences as the CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR OWN ACTIONS. Because the stupid thing is, you do might have won me over. Because you DO have a point. I really didn't know about all the bloody history, or the reality of life for yokai. And maybe I would've been willing to help you with a less crazy plan. But what kind of fucking conversation starter is chaining someone to a table? It's YOUR fault I wasn't willing to compromise. I can forgive you for having a cause. But I find it fucking HILARIOUS that you think it's reasonable to, after KIDNAPPING ME, make one (1) offer to let me choose to help you, WITHOUT REALLY GIVING ME A CHOICE, and when I said no just going, 'WELP, I TRIED. TIME TO FUNCTIONALLY MYRDER THIS TEENAGER.' BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DID!! You shattered me and shoved my broken pieces back together to make this perfect new person, caring so much that my 'personality' was intact, like you can just pick and chose parts of me that you like and get rid of the rest. How dare you? How DARE you reduce me to that?

You know it will destroy him, don't you? He's smart, just like I was. Eventually, he'll find a piece of evidence that you can't explain away, or my family will finally find a way to get through to him, and he'll finally put two and two together and realize what you did. Who he used to be. And when he does---when he finds out you've been lying the entire time, that all his memories aren't real---you know it'll destroy him, don't you? who he is and who he used to be will slam back together, and it'll be like a meteor crashing into a moon, and there will be no survivors. He'll break into pieces so small that you won't be able to build anyone new out of it this time. and then you'll have no one. And it's all you're fault. And there's no avoiding it now. It's inevitable. And I hope you know that by taking the short cut and cutting away the pieces of me you didn't like, my history and my loyalty and my love for my family, you've put a count down on his existence. you only have so long left with him, and there's no minimizing the damage. I hope you know. And I hope it eats you up inside.

and I can't wait for it to happen.For it to all come crashing down on you. I hope he gets dragged from your arms. And I don't care if we suffer in the process. I'd kill Galois just to make you feel his loss. I would have died to keep myself from you."

So I mightve gone a little overboard (and also a little out of character, but I like to think rage does things to a person), but long story short I'm not voting for them to be a happy family by the end of this anymore :/

Sorry that this is stupid long haha

Thanks for writing! I do really love your fic. It makes me think deeply

Donnie saying he would kill Gale is...interesting. Carry on.

Donnie and Galois don't really have separate consciousnesses or anything, but...yeah, this works.

#donatello

[brightlotusmoon]

#uh oh #well fuck #about me #having an existential crisis #alters #i was easily influenced by jean grey #thirty years of fandom #no wait #welp time to give my trauma to my characters #yeah this is me

[semi-sketchy]

#i do hope this arc doesn't go with whisper apologizing and tangle being justified if she really was trying to “honor the old team” #i'd rather it went into a “i don't hate you i'm just upset with you” angle #let whisper be angry and upset #let tangle know why #please don't push whisper to say she was wrong for being upset #i say that because i don't actually trust it not to go that way

Welp.

Aight issue 58 leaked and I'm actually gonna take a swing at this comic now because I genuinely did not think it could get to this level of bad. Like not even just the senseless Tangle and Whisper drama, the whole arc so far is just flat out bad and I wanna unpack it.

1. Tangle and Whisper drama

Let's get the elephant out of the way first.

This was dumb and had absolutely no point whatsoever.

All this leads to is Whisper apologizing for...not helping everyone and being a bad teammate?

Because yes, throughout this arc she has totally been uncooperative and not helping the team at all!

Oops.

Even in the context of the previous issues, she went off on her own to hunt Mimic again, fearful he'd hurt her friends to get to her even though she already went through that whole shtick and then she fought Surge to try and protect a town.

Please, tell me more about how she was being selfish and "not helping anyone."

This is not an empowering moment. This is an embarrassment, both to Whisper and Tangle. This has fully turned me off from Tangle.

Her side of the apology basically boils down to "I'm upset that you're upset at me, I did what I did to help us" complete with waterworks, leading to Whisper being like "no, no, you were right, I'm sorry for being triggered, I need to get over my trauma" and that is just manipulative. Top it off with Tangle NEEDING to be told what was wrong when she had a VISUAL REACTION upon seeing how affected Whisper was, and that just makes Tangle a bad friend.

You can have messy apologies in writing, it's more realistic and interesting for characters to have faults, but this whole thing was written around Whisper being in the wrong when she really didn't do anything. Seriously she gets about three pages dedicated to her apologetic speech while Tangle gets two panels.

And again, that's all that comes of this. It only serves as a do-over on Whisper's growth from their mini series. It has no effect on anything else. This was pointless to include and just wastes time.

2. The city expanding is solved way too quickly, for the convenience of the reader and not for the plot

This is actually the exact same problem I had in Frontiers. All concepts of mystery and suspense are thrown out the window just to feed exposition to the reader/player.

This is it. They come to a conclusion as out there as "the city is alive" with clues as shaky as it's bigger and the damage from weeks ago has been fixed. No build up. No evidence. They don't have to work for the information. That wild idea is just accepted.

I take pot shots at Xenoblade 3 for lacking build up, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I have to give that game a bit of credit because at least there everyone needed some form of confirmation before accepting a concept as weird as there being two Noahs.

This type of writing does not serve the plot or characters. It's just a quick and frankly lazy way to give the reader context. If you can't make the reveal/realization of the information your plotline revolves around even feel earned, you've failed your job as a writer.

3. Sonic has to be taught the power of friendship and teamwork.

Sonic T. Hedgehog actually learns it's good to work with others. Something he's literally been doing this entire comic. Like please name a single time he hasn't been working with at least some part of his ensemble to complete a goal.

I suppose it's trying to be a response to this line from the previous issue, however Sonic never suggested going at it alone. He literally said they should work as a team and get the job done together.

This isn't even a case of "play the games" because it doesn't bother being consistent with itself.

4. Why is Sonic deferring to Lanolin

Does everyone forget this is a part of Sonic's character?

But it's because she's the next Sally stand-in. That's why he's tolerating her scolding and following her orders. Forget the fact that she's the least experienced one on this team and knows it herself, this mission was her idea so clearly she's in charge!

I don't dislike Lanolin and frankly I don't really care that Flynn is trying to find someone to make the new de facto Sally, better Lanolin than Amy in my books. However, this bossy bitch attitude is pretty far removed from when we last saw her. She was more easily startled, a bit submissive yet still kind and courteous.

Really not the type of person I'd expect to be saying things like this.

And therein lies the problem. By trying to make different characters into Sally, it erases what personality they had before that was arguably more interesting. If they want to say Lanolin just changed and grew into this, then they should've given us some indication.

I said before what makes a new character compelling is seeing how Sonic inspires them, but we don't get to see that journey with Lanolin because it's glossed over in a small summary.

Well, maybe her character arc is just kicking off, she is still jumpy and breaks down after they fell in the portal, after all. Maybe the whole boss-man routine is just a facade and Sonic will offer her encouragement and teach her it's better to be true to yourself, giving her the confidence to lead her own way– oh, nope. That's Tangle.

Where the hell does Sonic fit into this universe if none of these OCs really need him for anything?

5. The great OC debate

I've already said my peace about why I'm not fond of the huge focus on OCs in IDW, so I won't repeat myself here.

Part of me gets it, there's less restrictions on entirely new characters than there are on the pre-established game cast. Of course, those restrictions –or "mandates" as they've been coined– exist for a reason and should really only be a constant hurdle if you refuse to learn, both from your own mistakes and other official media.

If you are frequently getting notes about your portrayal of a character that is not yours, the fault lies with you and not the person giving you the notes.

Creating a bunch of characters as a way to get around that process does nothing to address the actual issue.

Of course, I've seen it said with this arc, "stop complaining about all the OCs, a bunch of the game cast is coming in soon, so just wait!" Oddly enough, that's another issue I'm having with this arc and the comic in general.

I am frankly fatigued by the amount of times they mash tons of characters together for a big ol' Avengers-style gig. Is it too much to ask that some of the extended cast that aren't named Tails get used in smaller, more personal ways rather than giant team ups?

We've gotten some of those, don't get me wrong. It's been a bit since the last huge cast clash, but it's just not something I'm itching to see again, especially after the story has revolved around OCs like Belle and Surge for awhile. I want more small-group adventures with the game cast so they can truly be utilized in a meaningful way.

6. There's too many big subjects fighting for space on the page

The Diamond Cutters fiasco played no role in anything, partly because there just didn't appear to be time to show it actually causing any tension. Lanolin's introduction and self-doubt as a leader comes and goes very quickly without any build up or foreshadowing. The expanding city, while being the main focus, is figured out way too fast on loose clues. They try to teach Sonic a "lesson" but it never actually bothers to show him having issues with that subject.

Everything is rushed and not getting enough time to fully cook, causing pacing problems. There's already this many things competing for focus and they're just gonna throw more characters at it. That's not gonna solve the issue. All of these points should be significant to the story, yet they are condensed to hell and no part of this plot is actively being played up in the slightest.

I'll be honest, I don't know if I even want to bother with this comic anymore. I liked Scrapnik Island, but I am just growing tired of the mainline stuff. I didn't even bother reading #57 until the leaks happened, my dash blew up and I went "SURELY there's some context in #57" only to find there was none. We're only two issues in and this arc is already suffering with pacing problems and has shown no redeeming qualities.

If this is the quality they've settled for so far, then I'm scared what they're gonna do with Team Dark.

#anti idw sonic #idw sonic spoilers #idw sonic #long post

[supersecretnerd]

I love Cosmo and adore both her design and character, but there is an aspect of her story I dislike- (based on the original Japanese story, that has been subtitled to English)

Ok so when the Metarex went aboard the Seedrains ship and started to kill them all, it is shown that Cosmo was thinking about how she didn't want to die and that she grab onto a Metarex troopers hand in order to stay alive-

And then in the next episode, after finding out the Metarex had been using her as an unwilling spy (see they implanted a device in her brain so that their leader Dark Oak could hear and see everything she heard and saw), she immediately regrets surviving and wished she Shadow had just killed her-

And she also feels like her emotions to her trauma will lead to all her friend's downfall

So with all this and her newfound friends supporting her and ensuring that none of this is her fault and that she doesn't deserve to die, you'd think her arc would be healing from these past traumas and survivor's guilt, right?; accepting that the past happened and learning to accept her emotions and realize she deserves a happy ending.

WELP YA WRONG- Instead the end of her arc is realizing that she has to suffice her life to save the entire universe! Yep, her arc can be summed up to her finally accepting her death! (While in the story it's portrayed as her finding out what's worth fighting for, which being Tails and the rest of her friends, but honestly I disagree with that; Like she was already trying to protect the universe from the Metarex, to make sure no other species will be killed off like hers was- she already had a reason worth fighting for in the story!)

And what's worse is she never actually learns to accept herself; before she gets shot she even tells Tails "I'm sorry I keep troubling you to the very end".

I'm not saying the sacrifice isn't significant nor that it wasn't touching; hell makes me want to cry every time I see it. I just feel like they did a disservice to Cosmo and her story by killing her off in favor of furthering developing Tails and giving him angst.

I- I think perhaps my feelings can just be boiled down to better enjoying stories where characters heal from their traumas and my favoritism towards this character makes me want her to have a happy ending.

#sonic x #cosmo sonic x #cosmo the seedrain #this may be an unvalid criticism of the show- but god damn it I just want this child to live and heal and be happy

[umbral-stigmata-unbound]

Writers Truth or Dare | Open

@sleeplesswork asked: 🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction ( roleplay ) ?  🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction ( roleplay ) ? Both, actually, I got into around the same time for the same fandom, and also kind of for the same reason! The good, age old reason of 'I love this story and this character, LET ME SELF INSERT'. So, my first RPs were literally just me and my best friend and fellow fan of this obscure ass anime playing our RL selves and also, taking on each others favorite characters to romance lol. As for my fanfiction, it was very much mary sue 'everything depends on you and you're the chosen one AND you have all our powers, avatar style, AAAAND your fave is fated to fall in love with you'. It was my beginning, guys, don't worry, I pay my penance by rereading and cringing now and again lmao.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings Welp, since this says SHIPS and not SHIP, I think I'll give a headcanon for a few ships. Top three are my main FF7 ships, each of which I am currently working on one passion project fic each (Strifentine one is currently one chapter up! available on ao3!), and then two more are because they're some of my extra faves that I've been exploring on here with a great partner!

Strifentine: This has actually been explored in RP with a brilliant partner, and will be explored in the fic, but Cloud makes it a point with Vincent to interact with and understand the others within him, affectionately deemed Headmates. Vincent has spent too many years thinking them either burdened or fellow monsters locked in a cramped cell, when not just trying to completely ignore them. And that has been Vincent's choice, at times, because of his judgment of himself and others. But, he has grown to realize, with Cloud's support, he does not truly hate them. They're just as stuck as he is, they were just as violated as he was, and though they do not live traditionally and much at all now while inside him (just barely living when they take over his body), they are still conscious beings. And so Cloud makes an effort to ask about them, to be aware of them, to help Vincent be aware of them, and when Vincent feels willing to allow them free in a healthier form, IE not due to battle, Cloud is there to greet them and simply be there with them, to keep company, to interact, and if they get out of control, to keep them under control. It has helped them all grow into a more comfortable, balanced existence, though it's not without it's complicated times.

Sephesis: maybe not a normal headcanon, since it branches into What If scenarios. But, still. It is my firm belief, even if to some it seems like they must be doomed by the narrative and in that they could never communicate and reconcile properly, HOWEVER. Say they weren't lol. If the Nibelheim incident had gone another way, either pre fire, or post fire, and Sephiroth and Genesis had time to face once another again, get out grievances but also have a chance to apologize if they weren't so stubborn, I think we can all agree Sephiroth would have given his cells. If he was back in a place to see Genesis as the friend he cared for and had been losing, if he could recognize their situation more clearly without the trauma making it far more negative, and if he could believe it would save him and not make them both more monstrous, he would not have hesitated. Genesis was one of the single most important people in his life, and there were many stages in their time together that he would give everything just for them to be side by side, and Genesis RECOGNIZE they were side by side, equals. Sephiroth would have done anything to hold on to Genesis, if he hadn't been in such a state where his mind and heart was made to believe everything he had once held onto was dead, gone, or a lie.

Sefikura: In complicated scenarios, unhealthy as they can be, even if it were a scenario where Sephiroth was returned and could live a balanced life, however he might have to atone, with Cloud, they both still have a puppet issue. More often than not it is a subject of distrust and discomfort because of the risks it poses. But Cloud can't deny the bliss that can come with giving over to another's control completely, to not have to be responsible for who and what he is, and Sephiroth of course clings to the power because if he controls the one he loves, they can never leave him. And on the flip side, in scenarios where it was ever possible (stretch of canon possibility of course), in scenarios of Cloud's jenova cells becoming stronger or even just his influence as Sephiroth's anchor in returning to existence being a part of it, though Cloud would not enjoy enacting the power too often, Sephiroth has a weakness for it. Cloud isn't the only one who could enjoy the sweet release of loosing control, if only Sephiroth could give that control to someone he trusts wholly. Someone who could end him if need be, and love him against all reason. To be under Cloud's control, to be in his grip, it is a very complicated euphoria.

Rufus/Reno: It takes a great deal of time, trauma, closeness, complications, and finally balance between the two of them but Rufus is the only one to know some of the most important things about him. Few others know it all. About his name, his brother, and his mother. Tseng knows his former name, Tseng knows about his brother and Rude knows a gist about his complicated family crap and a few more details about his brother. But Rufus is the only one that Reno finds himself willing to confess the gritty details to. The details that aren't just for clarity of the job, or for mental assessments. The details that could be shared, between the two of them, for the sake of sharing and relating. Because they're both just boys who's families were hell and fell apart, and they're just doing their best to make the most of themselves, despite being sad boys at heart, angry at their failed parents and morning the loss of one.

Rufus/AU-Vincent: In this AU, Vincent is forced to train in Deepground to better his control of his 'beasts', especially Chaos, but all the while to teach those in Deepground close to his level in monstrosity, IE the Tsviets. He is a multipurpose tool of ShinRa at this point, mostly owned by Hojo, as in he can tug his leash at any time, but he loans him off back to the Turks most of the time, unless he needs 'retraining', to which he is either brought back to secure labs in Deepground for conditioning and refining that involves tampering with his memory at times, or he's thrown back in to training with the Tsviets, or both. Given this, he is very much a slave to his emotions and so he has to restrain them often. If he looses control, he looses control of them, and finds himself in Hojo's grasp again. So when he's been working as Rufus' body guard long enough (as he is pulled away from said duty a few times for different reasons, more so before Rufus is every VP much less president). But in his time with Rufus, as his complicated nature and how he is forced ot deal with it is made more clear to Rufus, the VP and eventual president begins working to expand training options. Better ways to keep his emotions level. Better ways to assess the nature of those within him and how to cater to taming each, or using them. And working through all the control Hojo has. It's a subtle mission, but with Rufus' help, by the time he's president, he is already working Vincent out of Hojo's clutches, though there is always risk and dread. However, Rufus greatest ally is also the greatest threat of Vincent's beast. Given Vincent's training, Chaos is the strongest, smartest, and most self aware and able to take control. And with training and focus, he is intent on overriding Hojo's tools of manipulation. But his chaotic nature and hidden motives are as much a threat to Rufus as anyone else. It takes winning him over, to some level of mutual trust through mutual gain, that they will override Hojo.

#sleeplesswork #ash talks #ooc ask #ask meme #ask answered #onewinged meme #sorry not sorry for the length #(but actually a lil sorry lol) #that just got away from me XD

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 280, Replies Part 2

1) “OH SO THAT IS WHY THE CHAPTER NAME I SEE

WELP, GOODBYE THEN KIRISHIMA, LONGED SO MUCH FOR THE SWEET MANLY EMBRACE OF DEATH YOU JUST HAD TO STEAL THE CHAPTER, DIDN’T YA?

Well, I bet you’re gonna be fine after this, I’ve seen your unbreakable mode before, give that Machia dude a bich ouchie on his hand”-  The dirt being also still semi-liquid from Mudman’s Quirk also helped. Kirishima’s Quirk prevented him from breaking anything from the force of Machia’s blow, but he probably couldn’t have dug his way out of the earth that quickly without the aid of all that softening. (MHA ch 279) 2) “Oh no, oh the humanity~ who’s gonna save the day now?”- The only boy who will never break under the pressure.

3) “ kirishima was like “outta my way gay boi imma steal this chapter” then a moment later “i got crushed to death” “- Kirishima’s done letting himself be crushed by the weight of his own fears and doubts, let alone machia’s hand.

4) “And Machia is up again, and majorly pissed off. This does not bode well for the keikaku*”-  I find it somewhat disquieting that machia actually can call the League ‘comrades’. That shows an atypical level of self-thinking and reflection from him, that he does truly think of the PLF and the like as being equals in the same ideology, rather than devoting all his brainpower to revolving around AFO and Tomura alone. 5) “OOHHHHHH THERE HE GOES THE ROCKY BOI IS GOING UP!

HOLY SHIT KIRISHIMA’S CLAWS ARE HARD ENOUGH TO EVEN PIERCE MACHIA’S HIDE JESUS FUCK MAN

AND NOW MACHIA IS EVEN MORE PISSED OFF THAN BEFORE “- Due to a smaller surface area, the sharpness of kirishima’s claws are enough to barely pierce into Machia’s first layer of skin because they focus all of his grip strength into a single piercing point, allowing him to cut just deep enough to draw blood, but not any great level of damage that can’t be healed in a day or two. Thankfully, Kirishima doesn’t need to wound Machia, he just needs him to keep talking and leaving his big mouth wide open…

6) “GOD FUCKING DAMMIT TOGA ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HOW DARE YOU I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO REMOVE YOU FROM MY FAVORITE CHARACTER’S LIST, YOU’RE GOING DOWN AT LEAST THREE SPOTS AFTER THAT ONE YOUNG LADY”-The league are not going to give the heroes a single Inch. If they can make a move to stop them, they will. On the other hands, if the heroes have more moves to make than they can use to stop them…. 7) “HOLY SHIT HE MANAGED TO SAVE MINA’S VIAL HELL FUCKING YEAH”- Mina thought she failed, but in actuality, despite her slip-up due to an understandable trauma, she was in the right place at the right time to allow Kirishima to succeed in the goal regardless. 8) “AND THERE WE FUCKING GO

YEET: ACHIEVED “- This fight comes down to both sides, equally determined, giving each other everything they’ve got to win, and the victor is the one that endures to the end…no matter the cost along the way… 9) “HOLY FUCK MOMO DID YOU FUCKING MADE THOSE HOWITZERS IN THE MEANTIME? MY GOD GIRL”- Who needs an army base to supply you with tanks and helicopters when we’ve got Momo on the field? That said, she is definitely gonna needs some calories in her, stat, after making that much heavy-duty ordinance. 10) “OH DAMN IT IS ACTUALLY THE CAVALRY COMING TO SAVE THE DAY

OR TRY TO, I SHOULD SAY, BECAUSE MACHIA IS NOW REALLY FUCKING PISSED

OH GOD DO HIS JAW GO UP AND PROTECTS HIS SKULL OR SOMETHING? THAT’S FUCKING HORRIFYING”-  Just a note, but Majestic is actually one of the heroes that Momo interned under during the hero internships, which is why she calls out to him specifically and he mentions having high hopes for her. Other side-note, Horikoshi is almost certainly going to be moving onto drawing a horror manga once MHA is wrapped up. 11) “But boy, I have a strange feeling that Endeavor just managed to get Shigaraki madder, and he’s about to snap with a breaking speech that will make Stain’s one seem like a baby talking”- Machia might be the one based on the Hulk, but Tomura seems to have his “mad = more power” ability in a twisted self-sustaining cycle. He gets mad and attacks the heroes for what he suffered, they beat him down to protect themselves and others, he views this as more unfair abuse being heaped on him and everybody ganging up on him and starts fighting back more viciously, rinse and repeat until he’s standing atop a mountain of dust and exulting in his victory despite missing half his body from the struggle. 12) “Kirishima’s backstory showed how he was always hesitant to jump in, and how seeing Mina move before she could think was one of the factors that allowed him to break out of that shell. Now, in the present day, we have Mina hesitating due to fear, and kirishima jumping in front of her, before he could even think about what he was doing that was a neat parallel, I love how both their stories and moments connected like that, it is so cute.”-  Another parallel was that Mina had the time to steel herself before jumping in, not being suddenly put on the spot like she was here, and Kirishima had all that time running through the flames to self-prepare himself for leaping in when she couldn’t finish it herself. But despite that, Mina did have the opportunity to throw the vial in herself, it was just the unfortunate coincidence of it being Machia who traumatised her before that tripped her up, something nobody could have predicted, so if she can see past his fumble here, she should be able to recognise her own heroic deed for what it was.

@thelreads

#my hero academia #bnha #chapter replies #thelreads #mha 280

[blujaydoodles]

what are some of the inspirations for your dnd ocs?

OH interesting question!! Although I think my answers are mostly not very interesting, ahaha ^^;; Elyss was my first 5e character-- I'd always wanted to play a ranger! It's hard to draw a straight line to any specific inspiration there tbh; being interested in animals and the outdoors, wilderness survival, and archery all just happen to be things that have been a part of what I'm like as a person for nearly as long as I can remember, so playing a very classic flavored ranger was a natural extension of all of that. A somewhat more superficial but much more specific detail is that I was inspired to make her a water genasi by the way light creates patterns through ripples underwater: when I found out what a genasi was, I thought it'd be really cool if a water genasi had skin that looked like that.

IDRI was inspired by me wondering about sleight of hand magic in a world with real literal magic-- what role would that play, how would the setting shape the staging and patter for the performance, what would the response be from laypeople and from legitimate practitioners? Then I realized that would be a great backstory for a rogue, and that 'performer in a circus' would give you access to nearly every single rogue feature without having to have a criminal background, and I got really excited by the concept and built it out immediately

Earlier in October I posted about Juniper being partly inspired by Milo Thatch from Atlantis: The Lost Empire :D Otherwise she came from me thinking about motivations for adventuring that aren't either trauma or treasure driven; I wanted her to be adventuring because she wants to, so I made a mapmaker who would be equally excited to travel anywhere the story or the other PCs' personal quests take us

Aubree was built entirely around 'what if... Small sized fighter riding a boar', hahah. Nyssa is mostly just inspired by-- and an outlet for-- my long-running love of satyrs, and my own culture/ worldbuilding for them; her voice and cadence are inspired by Evanna Lynch's performance of Luna Lovegood. Admittedly my halfling bard Kethri was mostly me going 'okay what's this party likely to need 🤔' because her campaign has a lot of first time players ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ambrose and Melliwyk were both initially inspired more than anything by their campaign settings! In both cases I was sort of in a '... I really cannot be in another campaign,' and then the DM was like 'here's the overview for my rich and intriguing setting and where the plot might take you' and I was like WELP!! guess I have to design a character around how badly I wanna sink my teeth into all of that!!! On a slightly similar note, Tsakesh is my Skyrim boi and he was mostly inspired by the way that I like to play Skyrim ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Most of the inspiration for Felix is literally just 'what are all the things I like or that would make me happy to play' tbh lmao. Rogues are my favorite class, so he's a rogue! I love animals and love that dnd lets you talk to animals, so he's actually going to do that! I love lore and solving mysteries, so that's gonna be his whole thing! etc etc.

A tl;dr answer, which feels like a really boring one, is that a lot of the inspiration behind almost all of my OCs is just... my own thoughts on worldbuilding, or race/ culture, or some other thing specific to the character 😅 I'm very much more inspired by Aesthetics and Concepts and Ideas than anything specific I could say 'oh, yeah, This Character' or 'This Story' or whatever. Like, Mel is mad scientist flavored, but not in a way that's direct enough or intentional enough that I could say 'I was inspired By This Or That', you know?

Anyway, thank you for asking!!

#sorry my answer is probably not very satisfying lmao #'my OCs are inspired by some ideas I had' sounds so stupid but that's usually what it comes down to :') #or like... 'idk vibes??' like aubree has magnus burnsides vibes but she wasn't Inspired By him #(... she may even predate him? when did I start listening to TAZ) #Mel has Merlin Swordinthestone vibes in a way that-- again-- is not causal nor intentional #shrug?? #about me #my OCs #Elyss #Idri #Juniper #Aubree #Nyssa #Kethri #Ambrose #Melliwyk #Tsakesh #Felix #not art

[dzpenumbra]

5/31/23

Yep, it's late again. XD

What happened this time? I don't know... I kinda panic-rushed to start working on those prototype beads at... 2 fucking 30 in the morning. You know... as one does... And here I am, starting my journal at 4:44 AM, the birds filling the air with their cheerful song, the midnight blue of dawn slowly warming the sky.

The good news? I got a really cool design done on one of the beads. The bad news? My goal was to do 4 of them, and to Mod Podge at least one of them. And I clearly didn't. So... yeah.

The day just got away from me again. Like... ugh. It's just frustrating me. I seriously don't even sit down to have my coffee until like 5 PM, and I'm rarely done drinking coffee before 7. Where do the fucking hours go?!

Like... I barely spent any time in bed! I got up, I did yoga - the lower back and hip one I like - then I did a bit of a workout after, because I hadn't been doing them. I have this ritual of opening the window and then doing the coffee before yoga, so it steeps while I'm doing that. And then, after the workout, I go and make cereal and I sit down and... it's like 4:30. At least.

I mean... I did play Risk of Rain a bit... but just one run to go for an achievement, I don't think it took longer than an hour... Hmm... maybe that did take longer than I remember. Maybe that's the X factor. Hmm...

Welp... after all that, I went and showered. I put a clothes iron and a glass bowl to make another plant terrarium thing with in a cart on Amazon and never ordered it. I made dinner. I played music for a long time. I got really sucked into it too. I even opened Cubase and got ready to record and everything. But... I never pulled the trigger on it. Not until too late.

What's getting in the way? Twitch. I guarantee it. I'm just getting distracted. It's too fucking easy for me, it's so damn tempting. It's improv, it's comedy, it's drama, it's character-driven stories. How can I say no? I don't know, maybe I'm being a bit hard on myself.

I did an intense workout today, I snuck in some work hours late at night and I'm still kicking my own ass about not "being productive". <eyeroll> I need to chill with that shit.

The flowers really didn't have the same level of aroma tonight as they did yesterday... I wonder why that is?

Anywho, since it's so late, I'm just going to move along to tarot. And I'm counting this as work, because I honestly think I could give some good readings for people, and I plan to try in the near future on stream. I would offer in-person, but... I don't even have a table in my apartment. We'll see.

Past - Ace of Wands, inverted (Inspiration, creativity, fresh ideas.  The seed of confidence you need to embark on a new creative journey.) Present - Six of Cups, inverted (Nostalgia, memories, past relationships.  Learning from and reconciling with the past, to create a better future.) Future - IV: The Emperor (A powerful, dominant, strategic and protective figure of great influence and reach.  Symbolically, important changes, a shift in power, new responsibilities or authority. Adjacently symbolizes stability.)

I swear I shuffle and cut these every time. I even looked through the top of the deck to see if there were any other familiar cards from last night there. I guess these symbols are important!

So... last night we explored my connection between the Emperor in Past... and an inverted Ace of Wands in Present. Now we're looking at that inverted Ace of Wands as the catalyst. My inability to access my creativity: having creative block, me restricting or censoring myself, whatever the reason... That leads to a dysfunction in my ability to reflect on the past. Something gets fucked up there. Or... my nostalgia turns dark... That was the first thing I felt when I learned what the card meant. Like... how I struggle with nostalgia because... it's rarely good memories. It's like a minefield of trauma and painful emotions. So... I'm guessing my lack of confidence in my creative self can be a direct route to that. And... if that's out of whack? The Emperor comes out. I mean, why wouldn't he. He's the father figure, the protective guardian, the lord. And, in essence, that's not necessarily a bad thing... but... if we put that in the context of the reading last night about the Emperor having a strong tendency to cause inverted Ace of Wands to happen... That's a feedback loop right there.

When I struggle to connect with my creative spark, or lack the confidence to engage with it, I end up looking back to the Past in ways that are... not helping. Hopeless longing, or dreading, even spite. "I didn't used to be like this." "I never used to struggle like this." "I used to have friends to help with this." Shit like that, which just sends me spiraling into all the shit that comes with those memories, all the attached nightmares, all the ghosts haunting those houses. And the reaction to this? The Emperor comes out to keep order. The "alright, what's going on here, we're supposed to be working, right? How productive have we been today? What's on the whiteboard? You can think about that stuff later if it's important" voice. And he's good at keeping emotions at bay... for the moment... But what last night said was... when he comes out... it tends to actually either reinforce or even cause a blockage between me and my creative spark. Or, at very least, my confidence to take creative risks. And this can result in a great outpouring of emotion. Ironic, eh? XD

Welp... that's a bit of a cluster fuck, isn't it? Hmm... so... if there's anything I've learned this week. I gotta work on my inner parent. I need to let myself wander a bit more, and be okay with a few days of meandering. I need my inner parent to focus more on... constructing larger scale plans. Like... some form of day structure... like developing strategies to get to bed earlier, constructing hypothetical scenarios where I'm working and enjoying myself, finding ways to get me outside more. Shit like that. And less... self-policing. If I had a good foundation, a healthier framework, I wouldn't need to self-police at all. So... that's my solution. Instead of going "oh no, don't ever listen to the Emperor" or whatever... to give little tweaks customized to how I know my personality works. Something that seems doable.

But for now, I'm off to bed.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness